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#sev & minerva
slitheriyn · 2 months
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You should try drawing mini cat!severus fighting cat minerva lol :)
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they later unite to fight against a common enemy: the headmaster's lame jokes
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Moments before Desaster strikes | Snape meme part 5
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severusfanclub · 5 months
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love the idea of sev being the one to raise harry whilst also being draco's godfather. thinking life was going so smoothly then BAM they both start hogwarts and there's endless whining and pining from both sides. sixth year drarry complaining to sev separately because god, both of them have such stupid faces but they can't help but be absolutely enamored with one another.
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Dumbledore: Minerva has started to date random people...again.
Flitwick: On a scale of 1 to 10, what level of problem is the current one?
Dumbledore: The sic-Severus-on-them level
Flitwick: Damn! Where in Severus's scale does it stand?
Dumbledore: Between Severus use your master spy skills to track their every move and Severus bloody murder the damn bastard and harvest your potion ingredients from their remains. Tending greatly towards the latter.
Flitwick:
Dumbledore:
Snape: You do realize that this will be the 47th one? The last one hasn't even decomposed properly. When are you going to wizard up and propose?
Minerva: *appearing suddenly* Propose? To whom?
Dumbledore: Fu-Flitwick!
Severus: Fu-Fudge!
Flitwick: Fu-Fang!
Minerva:
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noahmullariii · 11 days
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the main reason I'm an average height Remus truther - aside from this little fact being canon - is simple:
the only "tall, thin and gangling, with big hands and feet, and a long nose" character I advocate for is Ronald Weasley who deserves to tower over each and every authority figure he encounters.
so by 3rd year Ron is 5'11 / 180 cm which is ridiculously tall for a 13 year old boy and makes him slightly taller than all his Professors:
btw UK average adult heights are 5'4-5'6 for women and 5'8-5'10 for men
5'10 / 178 cm McGonagall (described as a tall woman)
5'9.5 / 177 cm Snape (rather shorter than Sirius; slightly taller than Narcissa, who's exactly 5'8 / 173 cm for me)
5'9 / 176 cm Lupin (not described = average)
5'8 / 172 cm Filch (not described = average; not a Prof but Staff)
5'7 / 170 cm Sinistra (not described, but she was on the taller side in the movies so I'll give her that. shorter than Minerva still)
5'6 / 167 cm Trelawney (not described = average)
5'1 / 154 cm Sprout (describes as a squat little woman)
4'5 / 134 cm Flitwick (described as tiny but has distant goblin ancestry so I see him as being 5 inches taller than average goblin)
Dumbledore doesn't count cuz Ron barely stands next to the man and I reckon it's pretty hard to grow over 2 meters at 13. Hagrid is irrelevant cuz half-giant.
then Ron gets kidnapped by the first adult that year who looms over him at 6'3 / 191 cm - no wonder Sirius is terrifying, being that tall.
by the time Sirius dies Ron only grows to 6'2.5 / 189 cm so he never gets to be taller than him... shit now I'm making myself sad.
anyway, when he's done growing Ron is 6'5 / 196 cm, making him the tallest Weasley and probably the tallest man in any room ever.
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handledwithgloves · 2 months
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and that was that. slytherin had lost another game this time to gryffindor. not that severus would care; he found the sport a bore and waste of time. he’d only ever been to a handful and that was only because lily had dragged him along - all in school spirit, of course.
“well, it couldn’t be helped, could it?” severus bristled at mcgonagall’s proud tone.
he turned to her with a glare. then, with a twinkle in her eye she playfully stuck out her tongue.
for whatever reason a fire flickered in severus’s chest and that night he’d borrowed all the quidditch books from madam pince’s library that he was permitted and viciously studied up on the sport.
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sneverussape · 2 years
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first day of school be like
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styxnbones · 8 months
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i love having multiple muses i love being able to weigh in on the topic of vicissitude catboys on two completely different sides of the arguement. in this corner we have: incredibly satisfied catboy minerva pantheon! and in the other corner we have: deeply traumatized by a tzimisce sev whosepackisdead! they're both fucked in the head in their own ways and i get to put them on blast for it for fun!
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ladykardasi · 2 years
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Ok, not enough drool worthiness lately... And some Snape & McGonagall friendship thrown in for good measure...
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Minerva: So, what do you want from her?
Severus: I want to smell her skin. I want to hear the boring stuff she does every day that she wouldn't bother telling anyone else because it's really that boring. But to me, it would be fascinating because... It's Ana.
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rosebudfics · 4 months
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Professor!reader and severus being married but hiding it from the students, bc they dont want the gossip and are just private people in general BUT one day sev forgets to take off his wedding ring and the golden trio go on this whole mission to find out who hes married to; completely freaking out when it turns out hes with reader cause theyre complete opposites while teaching
(Sorry if this is too long or doesnt make sense :^ i had this scenario in my head for some time lol)
Secret Lovers
Severus Snape x Professor! Reader
Warnings: use of the name "git" a lot lol, reader is the astronomy teacher but you can swap it out for any class, Snape smacks Ron and Harry
A/N: I LOVE THIS REQUEST SO MUCH OMG!?!?!?! also this isnt really set in any specific year but its more leaning towards where theyre older since snape you know.. hits ron and harry over the head and harry has the map <3
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You and Severus had managed to keep your relationship secret for a couple years now, with the exception of only Minerva and Dumbledore knowing.
Why does anyone else need to know anyway? It was none of their business!
So one regular morning when you and Sev were getting ready for the day in the early hours of the morning, he had somehow forgotten to take his golden band off. You both would usually keep them in a little ring box at home so they were hidden but safe and put them back on at night, but today Severus had just forgotten to take it off.
You would bid your goodbyes at home before you left together, getting one last kiss in before heading back to Hogwarts, then Severus would put his usual cold face back on.
You both headed to your classrooms like normal, Severus still failing to notice the wedding band still on his finger.
When classes started, everything was going how it usually would: he would deduct house points, snapping at kids whenever they would interrupt his teaching, etc. That is until Hermione noticed a particular shine off her teachers hand.
Hermione looked closer before very quietly gasping. "Holy cricket!" She whispered so only Harry and Ron could hear her.
“What?” Ron asked curiously but not very quietly, earning the attention of Severus.
“On Professor Snape’s hand, he was wearing a wedding ring!” She said in a hushed voice.
“You must be crazy Herminone, there's no way that he’s married to someone.” Harry chuckled.
“Yeah, no ones gonna want to let alone be in any relationship with that old git-” Ron was interrupted by getting smacked over the head by Severus, followed up by Harry getting smacked as well.
Hermione just kept quiet, keeping her giggle to herself.
“Would you mind repeating yourself Mr. Weasley?” Severus sneered down at him.
“...no, sorry.” Ron grumbled.
“Mhm. 5 points from Gryffindor, and that's me being generous.”
After class, Ron, Hermione, and Harry all gathered at the library at break. “Are you sure you saw a ring, Hermione? Was it even on his ring finger?” Harry asked as he sat down some books in front of him.
“I'm certain! The real question is though, to who?” Hermione thought for a minute.
“Harry, why can't we just use your cloak to spy on him?” Ron questioned like it was obvious.
“Brilliant!” Harry exclaimed but Hermione smacked him in the arm.
“That's invading his privacy! It's terribly rude.” She scoffed.
Ron then mocked her, earning a smack. After a while of begs and pleas, she finally caved.
“Alright, alright!” She sighed.
They then all made their way back to the dorm to get everything they needed. Harry also grabbed the Marauders Map so it would be easier to find Snape. And then off they went on their little adventure to hunt down his wife.
They had to do some weaving and dodging to not bump into anyone (they bumped into Neville at some point, terrifying him) until they made it to the staff room. Harry looked down at his map to find Snape and you, they're astronomy teacher, alone.
“What are Professor Snape and Professor y/n doing together?” Ron asked in a confused voice.
Harry hushed him and then looked into the keyhole to find Snape and you talking to eachother.
“Are you sure no one saw the ring?” you asked again.
“Yes, dear, I am sure of it.” Snape said in a somewhat annoyed tone. “If someone did see it, I would be getting hounded with questions!”
“Yeah well not if all the students are terrified of you!” you sighed. “Look I'm not mad, I don't want you to think that, it's just we've gone this long keeping it secret it feels weird to just slip up like this”
Severus stepped towards you and grabbed your face in his hands. “Listen love, no one will know. Maybe in the future we can be more open about it.” He then bent down and kissed her gently, and you wrapped your arms around his neck pulling him closer.
Harry gasped quietly and backed up. He was about to say something before he heard footsteps walking towards the door. “We gotta get outta here!”
They all then scurried off down the hall back to the dormitory.
“Harry, what did you see? What were they doing in there?” Ron asked.
“Its professor y/n, that's who he's married to!” Harry was slightly out of breath from running.
“Professor y/n?? But they're so.. so different!” Hermione was shocked.
“You must be seeing things mate, there's NO way Proffesor y/n is married to the old git.” Ron scoffed.
“I'm telling you! They were talking about how he had forgotten to take his ring off or something and then they kissed!” Harry gushed.
They then talked about why you would ever want to marry Snape for the rest of break. Interestingly enough they next class was with you!
Since you were an extremely nice and open teacher, they felt more comfortable talking to you about it.
"So professor y/n, have you been seeing anyone lately?" Ron asked before class actually started.
You were caught off guard to say the least. "Well... I dont really see how my romantic life concerns any of you," you laugh whole heartedly.
Ron then smirked. "You never denied it. Perhaps another Proffesor that teaches here!" Hermione pinched his side as a warning to shut up.
"I don't know what your getting at, Ron" you chuckle becoming a little worried.
"Well the man I'm thinking of is a mean, old, cranky git that likes potions-"
"Thats enough! You don't ever talk about another Proffesor like that!" You scolded him.
"Alright, sorry proffesor... but im right, aren't i?" Ron smirked.
Harry and Hermione perked up to listen.
You sighed, before making sure that no other student or teacher was around, nd then said "You must not tell anyone."
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himegureisu · 2 months
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The Gift
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Summary: Out of nowhere, your husband receives a gift from you.
A/N: This came to me last night after thinking of what type of mail people receive. Here's one I hope you enjoy.
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The Owl Postal Service in Hogwarts was, if not, consistent in their delivery time.
This time being, the hour after breakfast started for everyone to ensure that no disruptions, except important missives, were to be received during class hours.
Your tawny barn owl sailed through the Great Hall, over the heads of students and staff, and landed on the High Table in front of its’ intended recipient, your husband, their dark and grumpy Potions Professor, Severus Snape.
It was uncommon for the Potions’ Professor to receive anything but Potions’ ingredients, his usual Potions’ Journal subscription, or official mail either from the Ministry or the Order so the package, a neatly wrapped gift in royal green paper, silver ribbon, and a tag attached, accompanied by a letter in your distinct handwriting was bound to attract attention.
“Is there a special occasion?” the Headmaster’s eyes twinkled upon the sight of the young Potions’ Master quite confused,
“No,” Severus answered, “Not that I know of,”
His thoughts a mile a minute through his brain, slowly, internally panicking. His eyes locked at the present in front of him. Did he forget YOUR birthday? God no, you’d thoroughly celebrated every time the day came around. Did he forget his birthday? Did he forget an anniversary? Did he forget a muggle holiday that you loved to celebrate? No, so what was this doing here?
“It’s wrapped beautifully,” Minerva remarked, from across Dumbledore, “Will you open it?”
He does. First, the letter.
“Sev,” your voice echoed through his brain, “I know you’re probably trying to think of any reason why I would send a gift to you on a normal day.”
You know him far too well.
“Just stop. Do I need a reason to send a gift to the one I love when I feel like it?” a soft smile slowly formed on his lips as he read that line, his colleagues’ interest piqued at the change, “It’s from our holiday and other events, I hope you like it. I know I did. I love you, I’ll see you when I get home,”
Your letter was swiftly tucked in his robes after then taking the package from your owl. Severus proffered a treat for them, and they happily ate before it perched itself on his shoulder. His hands gently tugged on the silver to unwrap the gift.
His initials and yours, on the cover of a leather-bound enchanted photo album.
On the first page of your story, the title page, if the album was a muggle document, was a candid photo from your most recent vacation. Your arms wrapped around his. His figure was behind yours in a hug. Your faces were engulfed in laughter after a guide failed to land a joke against him.
“Oh,” Severus whispered, Your gift was amazing. How did he get so lucky to deserve you?
“That’s a rare sight,” Filius said, by his right, “Severus smiling and speechless,”
“She’s beautiful, Severus,” Albus complimented,
“We look forward to meeting her,” Minerva said,
Their words fell on deaf ears.
Beneath the photo album, in a frame, there was another photo of the both of you from afar. This moment was captured by a charmed camera that you didn’t even know was there until after it happened. In the wilds of Wizarding Britain, on your first date, underneath the stars, he’d kissed the back of your hand, admitted his affections, and asked if he could kiss you. To which you shyly agreed, and received the sweetest kiss you’d ever experienced.
This he could place on his desk. The others were not up for public consumption.
“If you’ll excuse me, Professors, I must send a response,”
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snape-lover13 · 4 months
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Sev's Staff Meeting Headcannons
-physically can not show up on time
-only acknowledges Minerva with a small nod (everyone else is ignored)
-snarky comments under his breath the whole ass time
-eye rolls whenever a new weasley prank is mentioned as he is normally the victim
-whenever someone asks him anything he takes a condescending sip of his tea and raises his eyebrows before answer in THE MOST ANNOYED ASS TONE EVER
-speaking of tea, he has a ''world's best potions master'' mug given to him by draco
-it's his favourite thing ever
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severussnapemylove · 2 months
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Minerva; "Where did Severus go yesterday?"
Y/N; "Sev decided he should go to see a therapist."
Minerva; "Really? How did it go?"
Y/N; "Well, the therapist is now seeing a therapist so…"
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thomasisaslut · 9 months
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SEVERUS SNAPE
HEAD-CANONS
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SFW 
• Hates alcohol—specifically whiskey—because of his father and the abuse
• Loves reading, specifically muggle children’s book that his mother read to him
• Treats younger students nicer, even if they are annoying him he tries not to scream at them—he will only give detentions or ignore them
• Adores the Slytherin students/Ravenclaws (that pay attention), even if he doesn’t show it
• Minerva is his best friend, they are gossip buddies and sometimes Dumbledore would join them
• Sleeps with a stuffed animal, it’s a brown ripped up bear he received from his mother when he was younger
• Hates PDA for others but is a hypocrite, he will definitely hold your hand and kiss your cheek/forehead (Only off school grounds)
• Hates coffee, loves tea—especially floral, his favorite is lavender
• Speaking of flowers he has a TON at his house in Spinner’s End, roses, tulips, lavender plants, ANY AND ALL.
• Is the best teacher Hogwarts has ever had
• Has reading glasses
• Adores holding you when you’re falling asleep together—also loves snuggling you when the two of you will read together
• Speaking of which, he will loves reading out loud to you when you’re together. Your back will be on his chest as he reads
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NSFW
• HANDS! He loves hand stuff, choking, caressing you, fingering you, ANYTHING.
• Marks. He adores marking you in obvious places, especially your shoulders, collarbone, and neck—he likes seeing the marks past your shirt
• He is a switch, but mostly dominant because he likes to see you squirm (Soft dom Sev!)
• Cock-warming. He definitely loves when you’re just sitting on his dick while he does other stuff—grading papers, reading, anything
• Teasing/Humiliation, loves to make fun of you and toy with you (he makes sure you know its just for sex, not actually making fun of you)
• ALSO! Degradation, he will call you a whore, slut, any name in the book
• Public sex is his favorite thing EVER, his office, classroom, hallway, ANOTHER teachers office, by the lake, anywhere
• Definitely has a thing for when YOU call him names, sir, professor, Sev. When he is headmaster he loves when you call him that too
• Will adore every inch of your body like you’re a GODDESS/GOD
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More head-canons will be added later!
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dracolilhoe · 20 days
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Secret Keepers (Severus Snape x Y/n)
Severus Snape x fem!pregnant!wife!professor
Main Masterlist here -> DracoLilHoe
Harry Potter Fandom Masterlist here -> HP Masterlist
REQUESTS are open!
Warnings - Female reader, use of Y/n, mild swearing, Professor reader, mentions of mensurating
Words: +1.5k
Summary: Severus & Y/n have been secretly married for the last few years. Y/n has a hunch that something big is happening, but isn't sure if she should trust her instincts.
If you find mistakes please tell me! I'm not a perfect writer so please just let me know. Happy reading! :)
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Just breathe, Y/n. Everything is perfectly fine. I say to myself as I pace around my classroom. You're freaking out over nothing. It's normal for everyone to miss their period sometimes, but two weeks? Maybe I should see Poppy just to be sure. I let out a shaky breath and made my way to the hospital wing, my footsteps echoing in the empty corridors.
"Poppy?" I call as I walk into the Hospital wing. "Hello? Oh! Y/n dear lovely to see you! Is something the matter? You seem distressed." Merlin, this is going to be awkward. "Um… I was wondering if you happened to have a pregnancy test?" Her eyebrows shoot up slightly as she stares at me. "Yes. Yes, I do. Do you need one?" "Yes. That would be great." "Alright, give me a moment." She walks over to her office to fetch the test as I rock back and forth nervously.
The clicking of the heels can be heard a few moments later as she comes back with the test in hand. "The bathroom is just over there," She points over to a door on the far end of the wing. "take all the time you need." She gives me a comforting pat on the back and a soft push forward.
After I do my business I place the test on the bathroom counter face down and wash my hands. I lean against the wall of the bathroom as I gaze at the test. I sigh heavily and rub my eyes. "It's now or never…" I mutter picking up the small stick. I look down and stare at the single pink word.
Positive
"Holy shit. Holy shit," I whisper as the test falls to the floor and my hands fly to my tear-filled eyes. "I'm gonna be a mom… I'm gonna be a mom!" A soft knocking can be heard as a soft voice calls, "Y/n… is everything alright?" I open the door and stare at the older woman in front of me. She glances at my tear-stained cheeks and the test now on the floor. She bends down, picks up the test, and her eyes widen as her mouth falls open. "Dear Merlin," she whispers, "you're pregnant!" I nod as she pulls me into a tight hug. "Congratulations!" She says excitedly as we pull away and she rubs my shoulders softly. "Thank you."
"If you don't mind me asking… who's the father?" I sigh. "Promise me you'll keep it a secret. We'd like to keep our marriage private." "Marriage!?" "Poppy! Promise me!" "Okay, okay I promise." "It's Severus." "What!?" "Keep your voice down will ya! Someone could be walking by." Poppy sighs, "Damnit, I owe Minerva and Pomona 10 galleons." "Excuse me? What do you mean you owe them galleons!?" "Um… well me, Albus, Minnie, Fillius, Hagrid, and Pomona bet on whether you and Severus would end up together. Minnie and Pomona said you would and the rest of us said you wouldn't. We were clearly wrong."
"Poppy!" A voice calls from the entrance to the hospital wing. Poppy turns around to find Minerva with a puzzled expression on her face. Minerva glances at my tear-stained face and then the test in Poppy's hand. "Y/n, are you alright?" "Never better, Minnie." Minerva walks over and takes the test from Poppy's hand. "Y/n, you're pregnant?! Who's the father? When did this happen?" "Minnie!" "What! I'm just curious!" "Okay, first off the father is Sev," she gasps and I roll my eyes, "Second, I know you guys bet on us." She laughs nervously. "No hard feelings, right?" I sigh and shake my head. "No hard feelings," she lets out a breath and laughs nervously, "But I want 20%."
"Y/nnn," she whines "Pleaseee don't do this" "Hand it over girl." I giggle as she pouts her lip but hands me some money from her pocket. "Thank you." I place the money in my back pocket as well as the test Minerva handed back to me. "When are you going to tell Severus?" Poppy asks as the three of us walk toward the entrance to the wing. My face falls slightly as I fidget with my fingers. "Probably after dinner," I whisper nervously. "Don't be nervous! Everything will be fine!" Minerva says as she pulls me into a motherly embrace. I sigh and hug her back. "Thank you, Minnie." "I should probably get going. My next class starts soon," I glance down at my watch. "I'll see you two at dinner." "Good luck, Y/n!" They say as I make my way back to my classroom.
**Dinner**
I head to the Great Hall and enter through the large doors. Walking up to the broad table at the far end of the hall taking a seat next to Severus. "Hello, love," I whisper. A smile appears on his face as he gives me a quick glance. I hear giggling and glance to my left to see Minerva and Poppy smirking at me. I roll my eyes as I place some food on my plate. "So, how was your day, Severus?" Severus gives me a confused look as he side-eyes the girls. "The usual. Gave Potter a detention this evening" I nod not really paying attention to what he is saying, "Severus, I was wondering if I could speak to you after dinner. It's urgent." His eyebrows furrow in confusion, but he nods.
Once dinner is finished Severus stands up and heads towards his office. I watch him as he goes and feel my body heat up from the nerves. "So, have you told him yet?" A voice asks from behind me. I jump and let out a small squeal. "Minnie! What the bloody hell!" "Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you! I was just curious." "No. I haven't told him yet. I'm going to go tell him right now." "Okay! Good luck, Y/n!" I nod as I stand up and begin walking to his office. "You better name it after me!" She calls. I laugh and answer back, "You wish!" A few students and staff members who are still present in the hall exchange glances with each other as they stare at me and Minerva.
I begin heading down the stairs toward the dungeons. The cold atmosphere making me shiver. I reach the door to Sev's office and softly tap my knuckles against the dark wood. "Severus?" "Enter." Says the cold monotone voice of my dear husband. I open the door leaving it slightly ajar and am met with the familiar smell of parchment and books. I glance up to see my husband sitting at his desk with a quill in hand and papers scattered on his desk. His cold eyes meet mine but soften instantly. "Hey, love. You wanted to talk about something?" I nod. He pushes his chair back and pats his lap. "Come."
I walk over and straddle him my hands moving to play with his hair. (Something he will never admit to liking out loud.) He moves his hands to draw small circles on my thighs. "Speak." "Well, I went to see Poppy this morning and-" "What? Why? Are you alright? Are you hurt?" He asks as he caresses my cheek. "Sev! Let me finish," He sighs, "Go on." "To answer your question I'm perfectly fine. I just haven't um… well… I haven't gotten my period for almost three weeks. I just got worried so I went to Poppy," He raises his eyebrows slightly but doesn't interrupt. "I asked her for a test and she gave me one," I reach into my back pocket and pull out the test handing it to him.
He takes the test from my hands and turns it around to stare at the pink word against the small screen. "You're… You're pregnant?" He whispers as he looks up at me. I nod as tears fill my eyes. He pulls me into a tight hug as he kisses my head. "I can't believe it… we're gonna have a baby." I look up at his shocked face and giggle as we pull apart. "Is that why Minerva and Poppy were acting weird?" I lay my head on his shoulder. "Yeah. They both found out about us this morning. Did you know they placed a bet on us?" "They did, did they," he says as he kisses my forehead and begins running his fingers through my hair. "As much as I would love to hold you for the rest of the evening… Mr. Potter has a detention… and should be arriving soon." I sigh and get off his lap as he stands up and pulls me into his chest. "I love you, darling, I'll come see you tonight." He leans down for a loving kiss. I smile and walk over to the door as he sits back down at his desk. "Love you!" I say as I begin to make my way back to my chambers.
Unbeknownst to both of us Harry had been listening through the crack in the door and knew everything. He wouldn't tell anyone, right?
It's the bloody dungeon bat for crying out loud!
Of course, he would!
Breakfast should be interesting tomorrow…
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