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tiredmamaissy · 1 year

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Non-Unrequited Love

Non-Unrequited Love: Part I

Read Part II, Part III & Special Ep. I here. (Links are also below)

🔞 minors, do not interact 🔞

Characters: Lo’ak (18) x Omatikaya Reader (18)

Warnings: Slight NSFW, cursing, lots of fluff, lo'ak in rut

Word count: 3.6k

Authors Note: This series is really a continuation of one event. It has a slow start, but nearing the middle and end it gets pretty steamy.

Synopsis: You and lo'ak have been friends all your life. Everyone knows that you like each other, except the two of you. Fed up with him flaking on you constantly, you follow him one day and find out he's in rut. Now your alone with the love of your life, on a secluded island, whilst he's in rut.

Intro:

Lo’ak experienced his first rut at the early age of 17. He chose to endure his rut alone, until the girl of his dreams (y/n) had chosen him as a mate. It was rather painful and lasted much longer than normal – 3 entire days. His only form of release was himself. His father brought him to a secluded island, near to hometree, where he could go and endure his rut alone.

He’s had feelings for you since you guys were in your early teens. You two did everything together. You’ve tamed your ikrans together, learned how to use a bow and arrow together, and even got in trouble together. You two were inseparable and knew everything about each other. Nothing could pull you guys apart, and everyone around you knew that you were destined mates. However, you have also been waiting for him to choose you as a mate.

Despite the continual encouragement from his older brother, Neteyam, telling him to express his feelings to you, he still chose to wait. Thus, he has spent the last three, very painful ruts on his own. He had gotten used to the feeling and learned ways on how to cope with it. He would start by taking a bath in the lake, eat some grub, and embark on his, several, intense self-love-making sessions.

Coincidentally, every time his rut came around, there would be some sort of special event that he would have flake for. Outside of these special events, he deemed himself as a reliable companion. His first rut came on your birthday. The day of, Neteyam came to you and explained that he was extremely sick and needed to rest.

The second time around, he had promised to go with you on your first real hunting trip together. You waited on him for 2 hours at the meeting spot, before giving up and going back home. Later, Kiri came to you and explained that Lo’ak got in trouble for stealing his father’s assault rifle and that he was grounded for a few days. Seemed believable enough.

On his third rut, he promised to take you to the hallelujah mountains to a hidden spot his parents showed him when he was younger. He said he would make it up to you there, and that he’s been wanting to confess something to you. Jake himself, told you he was sick again, and that he would make it up to you another time.

Today, it was your uniltaron (dream hunt), where you were supposed seek your spirit animal. It was important to you that he showed up to this rite of passage. When Neteyam came running to you with his tail between his legs, head hanging low, you didn’t even let him speak.

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“Y/n, I – I’m sorry. Lo’ak, h – he, he -.” Neteyam stutters, out of breath from running to meet you at the tree of souls.

“No, not another word.” You say, tears welling up in your eyes. “He always does this! What is this? He is supposed to be my best friend. What kind of best friend misses this?” you cry, motioning over to the ceremony.

Neteyam looks sorry for you and tries to explain. “I know, but there’s a good reason, y/n. If you would just let me explain!”

“No.” you take your small dagger out from your chest and point it in his direction. “tell me where he is! Where is this bitch hiding this time?” you shout.

“y/n... I can’t.” you step closer to him, and he steps back, looking behind him trying not to trip. “I can’t tell you!”

“Neteyam, I will pluck the eyeballs right out of your face!” at this point, he’s on the floor and you’re towering over him, like a predator trapping their prey.

“He’s on the island! Okay? The island!” his hands are in the air, covering his face.

You calm down a bit and withdraw your dragger slightly. “Which island? Where?” Neteyam looks hesitant to answer.

It seemed as if he were trying to choose whether he wanted to be maimed by his brother’s crazy mate or face the rath of the great Lo’ak. Neither seemed very appealing to him, but he’d rather take his chances with Lo’ak.

“The island right across from here. You will find him there. But y/n, he is not himself right now. He’s not the Lo’ak you know and love. You should just wait for him to come back.” Neteyam warns you.

You hiss your teeth, “Love? Pshh.” you get up in a huff, fuming with rage, and make your way to your ikran, mounting it swiftly.

“Crazy woman... they’re really made for each other.” Neteyam mumbles under his breath, shaking his head.

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You had been to this island once with Kiri before, to harvest some sort of rare plant that is supposedly able to relieve a third-degree burn in minutes. You and Kiri got the plant, but at the expense of almost losing a few limbs. No one is really supposed to go here, primarily because of the large population of Thanators.

You have heard of a rumor though, that there is a hidden spot, nestled deep into the jungle, where na’vi go to mate before Eywa. It’s supposedly some sort of obscure spiritual sanctuary, that only higher ranking na’vi like the Olo’eyktan, Toruk Makto, and other great warriors know about.

This didn’t stop you, though. The blinding rage that courses through your body is enough motivation to fly there just to maim Lo’ak. What was happening here that was more important than your ceremony?

Your ikran makes a large thump when you land on next to a tree on the island. You dismount her and explore your surroundings. You can recall most of the island, seeing that Kiri would not let you leave until you sourced that ridiculous plant.

With your bow and arrow in hand, you lean against the trunk of the tree next to you, “Lo’ak! I know you’re here. Come out!” You yell.

Lo’ak is hiding high in the canopy of the tree directly above you. He peers down at you, squinting his eyes to get a better look. After confirming that it is indeed you, he takes a deep breath to steady his heart rate.

Why is she here? How did she figure out where I was?

His breath steadies, and his heartrate slows. His rut was approaching any minute, and he was finding it hard to keep calm. The girl he’s loved for so long just stepped foot into a secluded island with him while in rut, what could possibly go wrong?

“Lo’ak! Come out, come out wherever you are” you taunt, just like when you were playing hide and seek as kids. You slowly load your bow with an arrow.

He studies your posture, seeing that you’re armed, and angry. He removes his dagger out of its casing and climbs down on the branch below him. He’s calculating his every move, planning out exactly how he’ll deal with you.

Just as you were about to give up and search another area, something large and heavy attacks you, pinning you to the ground. You shriek from the unexpected blow, huffing and puffing from the pressure in your chest. Your hands are trapped under your own body, and its paw is holding your head down firmly. It exhales hot air onto the back of your neck, making your ears perk up.

A Thanator? Shit!

You go into fight or flight mode, and surprisingly for a mighty warrior like yourself, you choose flight. You know you’re no match for the jungles biggest and baddest predator. You begin to wriggle underneath it, trying to release yourself from its tight grip so you can make a run for it back to your ikran.

“You should not be here.” the Thanator speaks.

Surprised, you look behind you to see Lo’ak pinning you down, with his knife out.

“Fuck! I thought you were a fucking Thanator, Lo’ak. Great Mother. Never do that to me again.” He releases you from his grip, letting you scurry away.

“I may as well be.” He spits, through breathless pants.

You put away your bow and arrow and put your hands in the air. “You too.” you look wide eyed at the dagger in his hand. He carefully places it back into its casing.

“Why are you here?” he says in a cold voice. It stung to hear the man you secretly loved didn’t want you here.

“Why are you here?” you ask back, crossing your arms over your breasts.

He looks down, and takes note of the placement of your hands, staring a little too long. He looks back up at you, with emerald, green eyes, “I’m trying to protect something very valuable to me. But it’s not working out how I planned.”

You take interest in the sudden change of his eye colour, but you find what he just said more interesting. Intrigued, you ask “Protecting what? If it that valuable to lock yourself away on an island, you could have just roped me in for some help, Lo’ak.”

He chuckles and shakes his head. “It is not a what, it is a who.”

“A who?” that stung even more. Who’s more valuable than his best friend? You look down, deep in thought, trying to think about who could be so valuable to him that he would miss your ceremony to protect.

He sees the sadness in your face and feels sorry for you. “It is you, y/n.”

“Me?” butterflies flutter in your stomach, “how is hiding on an island and missing one of the most important ceremonies of my life ‘protecting’ me? Protecting me from what?” you’re so confused, and ready to solve this mystery once and for all.

“From me.” He states, his pupils morph into slits and his green eyes glow even darker.

You hear his breaths become raggedy as he starts backing away from you into the darkness.

“Protect me? From you? Lo’ak...” you chase after him.

“Y/n, go home.” He walks away from you, climbing back up the tree.

You’re not taking no for an answer this time as you’re on the verge solving this mystery. You climb up the tree behind him, getting a whiff of rain and leather hide mixed together. You look around to see if it’s raining, and to your surprise it’s not. All you can see is the bioluminescence of the flora around you.

“No, tell me Lo’ak. What is it? I’m not leaving until you tell me!”. You catch up to him and tug on his tail, “seriously Lo’ak, I thought we were close, but I guess I was wrong.” your voice lowers into a whisper.

His face grimaces, you can see the hurt in his eyes from what you just said to him. This, on top of the very little self-control he has left makes him snap at you, “I’m in rut, okay? Are you happy? You should go, I can really feel it now.”

He makes his way further up the tall tree, with you following closely behind him. “Lo’ak! Rut? You mean the thing that we learned from Mo’at about the na’vi cycles?”

“No shit, y/n.” he hisses.

“I didn’t know you got yours already, I’m still waiting for mine.” You whine, a bit jealous that he got his first.

How does this boy climb so quickly? You’re panting, at this rate.

He stops abruptly, pulling you aside onto the large branch that he’s standing on. You look at him intently, the beads of sweat on his forehead drip onto his chest, which is glowing under the night sky. Big green saucers for eyes look back at you, as he takes your hand in his.

“I have spent my last three ruts alone, on this island, by myself. Each of those ruts, I had something planned with you and had to make up an excuse so that I wouldn’t hurt you. When I’m in this state, I’m delirious, completely out of control. I have these... urges, that I can’t stop, and with the way I feel about you... I – I don’t think I’d be able to keep myself back. So, I come here, with the help of my father, and hide for the three days that it lasts.”

That was a lot to unpack. For a minute, you’re speechless, just registering and processing all that he just said to you.

How he feels about me? Urges? Three days? Doesn’t rut usually last a day, at most? You had so many questions, but nothing was coming out.

You may be a bit slow, but you are no fool. As the puzzle pieces together, it dawns on you that he has feelings for you, and to protect you from the animalistic... sexual, urges, he locks himself far away from you. How romantic.

He looks at you for a while, waiting for a response, to be met with nothing. He scoffs, drops your hand, and looks away, “I knew I shouldn’t have said anything. Go home, y/n.” he starts making his way towards the trunk of the tree.

“Wait!” you grab his arm and pull him towards you. “I, I – I have these feelings too, Lo’ak. I’ve had them for some time now. Every time you flaked, I felt stood up. I’ve been waiting for you to choose me, first.” you look away, shyly.

“Y/n. Are you saying that you want to be my mate?” he grips both your arms, staring deeply into your eyes.

“Yes. I’ve always wanted to be your mate, Lo’ak.” You whisper, as if other people could hear your confession.

He can’t help but smile at you, searching your eyes to see if you’re being honest. He swallows his spit, and glances down at your lips. You notice this, and glance at his lips, too. The tension in your chest is intense, it feels like knots in your heart. He inches closer and closer to you, close enough for you to hear his quick heartbeat. His lips crash into yours, hungry and inexperienced.

Not knowing what you’re doing either, you kiss him sloppily, using your tongue to explore his mouth, your teeth clinking together. Both of you reeked of desperation. All these years, you’ve looked at your relationship with him as unrequited love – a girl who settled to be his best friend. Unbeknownst to you, he’s felt the same way about you this entire time.

This is what the sky people would call ‘making out’ it seems. His tongue wraps around yours, much like his arms wrap around your waist. He’s never touched you like this before, in fact, no one has ever touched you like this before. You’re so nervous that he picks it up.

He pulls away from your lips, “What is it? Is this, okay?” He pants, trying to catch his breath.

“Yes... it’s nothing. I’ve just never done this before. I don’t really know what I’m doing.” you too, are panting and trying to catch your breath.

“It’s okay, me too. We’ll learn together, just like we do everything together” he smiles before he leans back in and kisses you excitedly.

His hands explore your body, in places he’s never touched before. They make their way up and down your back, and then around to your breasts. He brushes past them, unintentionally flicking your nipples that peak through the thin cloth on your chest. A soft moan escapes your mouth into his, as you flinch from his touch.

“Sorry.” He apologizes, breaking the kiss.

“No, it felt good. Keep going” you demand, kissing him back.

His hands work further down, past your stomach, down to your lower thighs. Your body moves on its own, rolling and whining to dance with his hands. At this point, he is groaning too, allowing his own body to succumb to his ‘urges’.

You start kissing his neck, and make your way down to his collarbones, caressing the dip in them with your tongue. He closes his eyes, savouring the pleasure that he’s feeling, breathing in your natural scent. The bulge in his loincloth becomes more and more visible, something you’d never seen before. You were curious to see how it feels, if it was really as stiff as they make it seem to be.

You allow your hand to move slowly down his stomach, playing with his belly button on the way down. You cup his bulge, squeezing gently, trying to feel the shape of his member. He jerks slightly, from the sudden touch of his most sensitive area. Soft moans evade his mouth, while he lets his hands move from your thighs to the soft flesh between your legs. You gasp for air as he rubs your most delicate area.

“Whoa. You’re really wet, y/n” he says, making an innocent observation.

“And you’re actually rock-hard” you look up at him, surprised.

His vision becomes hazy, and his heart starts thumping. He tries his best to fight the feeling, and continue to have this moment as himself, but his rut is proving to make that difficult. He lets go of you and takes a deep breath while stepping back.

Did I do something wrong?

“Y/n. My rut. I can’t fight it anymore. We should really stop here.” He says through clenched teeth and furrowed brows.

“Then don’t.” you say, stepping towards him, grabbing his hand.

“Don’t?” he shakes his head, confused and foggy.

“Don’t fight it, Lo’ak. I am here now, and if we are destined to be mates...” you stroke his queue with your other hand, “then is it not my duty as your mate to be with you, now more than ever?”

“Yes. But you don’t understand, y/n. This is not my first rut. I – I can’t control it. No matter how hard I try, it is insatiable. I don’t want to hurt you, especially during our first time...” He takes another step back.

“I want it. I’ve been wanting this. I am ready, Lo’ak. Besides, you owe me for all those times that you stood me up” You giggle, lightening the mood. You cup his face and stare deep into his dark green eyes. “I trust you.”

He shakes his head, “Agh. Okay. But you must listen to me and do exactly as I say, y/n.”

“I’ll do anything you tell me to do.” You look up at him, smirking.

He takes your hand and hurries all the way up to top of the tree, where his hide out rests. There is a woven mat, food, water, and other necessities. It’s nestled among several branches that veer off in all directions. It really looks something like a prison; it saddens you to know he had been dealing with this while you were upset at him for not showing.

He quickly packs his bag with some supplies and food and calls for his ikran who is resting, quietly hidden in the canopy. There is a great sense of urgency in him, as the height of his rut is fast approaching. You both mount his ikran, and you sit comfortably between his legs. He steers the ikran with one hand, and wraps his other hand tightly around your waist. You soar through the sky towards a small hill deep in the thick of the jungle.

“Should you be flying in this state? Where are we even going?” you ask curiously.

“I’m alright for now. We’re going to a sacred place that my father showed me once. He said to me ‘if for some reason you are lucky enough to mate with someone, bring them here to impress them.’” he chuckles. “Perks of having your father be Olo’eyktan and Toruk Makto, I guess.”

So, the rumor is real. Huh.

The landing is rough, probably due to Lo’ak’s foggy state of mind. He disconnects his queue from his ikran and dismounts him. You hop off on your own, taking in the view. This hidden, sacred place leaves you breathless. The flora glowed in the night sky, as the waterfalls burble into the large, crystal-clear lake. Vines and panopyra dominate the woodland, wrapping around and hiding between the shrubs and trees. Even Lo’ak was glowing before you, hazy eyed.

Woodsprites float like jellyfish, surrounding Lo’ak, and then you, bringing the two of you closer together. “Does this mean that we are destined to be?” you ask, jokingly.

“Maybe.” He says, seriously, taking his queue and holding it in front of him. “Are you sure you want this?”

You take your queue and hold it in front of you, looking at the tendrils dancing before you. “Yes, do you want this?” you bring your queue closer to his.

“Yes. Definitely, yes.” Your queues come together, creating a spark that only the two of you can feel.

Your eyes dilate, ears lay flat, and your lips part ever so slightly – you are both connected through tsaheylu now. You feel his breath, his heartbeat, his rut. It feels like a deep sensation of sheer frustration, not only sexual, but a craving for a deeper, emotional connection, expressed through sex. Your tail sways back and forth as the feeling travels through every inch of your body.

Do you feel it?

You’re taken aback by his voice in your head. You swore you didn’t see his lips move. You look at him, really concerned that you’ve gone mad, searching his eyes for an answer.

“Tsaheylu makes it so that we can hear each other’s thoughts.” He speaks.

Like this, my pretty girl.

You smile at him, embracing your mate.

Now we are mated, before Eywa. Your chest gets hot.

For life. He kisses you passionately.

Read part II & III here:

Part II:

Part III:

Special Episode I:

#lo'ak fanfiction #lo'ak avatar #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak sully #lo'ak x y/n #lo'ak x you #lo'ak fic #lo'ak smut #lo'ak #avatar way of water #avatar smut #avatar x you #avatar #rut cyle #neteyam sully #neteyam

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sugarglider-s · 2 years

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I touch on this topic occasionally, but the way Kai and Zane’s relationship is written in canon is absolutely fascinating to me.

Under normal circumstances, they’re not shown to have a specific type of bond like other relationships in the cast (jay and Cole are best friends, kai and Lloyd are a big and little brother dynamic etc). They’re usually together out of circumstance and they’re not a typical group dynamic the writers like playing with.

But for some inexplicable reason, anytime, and I mean anytime there is an extremely intense scene with one of them, it’s implied they’re closer to each other than anyone else on the team? I mainly point to the fact that Kai specifically was the one to give Zane’s eulogy, which from a writing perspective, makes very little sense unless they’re trying to imply Zane and Kai were each other’s closest friend. Because if say, I were a writer on the show, I would immediately make wu give the eulogy because he’s old and was the mentor and stuff and is an important figure to everyone. But giving Kai the role gives a new context. Plus, everyone agreed he should do it. There’s an unspoken understanding that Kai knows what to say about Zane in this vulnerable moment, even though he’s not the best with words. Which just. Implies very very interesting things to me.

There’s also the fact that in season 4 ep 1, Kai very clearly and obviously stated that he felt like he should’ve died in Zane’s place. It is somewhat implied with everyone else, but Kai is the only one to explicitly say that he would’ve rather died than live without Zane. He became an implied alcoholic and competed endlessly in an underground fighting ring just to take his mind off of it. He easily had the most extreme reaction even though he was likely accustomed to loss. He even had the most extreme reaction when a glimmer of hope showed that Zane might be alive.

There’s also the fact that in season 10, when Cole falls off the bounty, Zane is the one who stops Kai from going back for him. He puts his hand on the Kais and instantly, Kai backs off. He just crumples. And it’s incredibly rare for Kai to show real vulnerability. And the fact that one single wordless gesture was enough to make him understand that there was no going back for him, just intrigues me to no end. It implies a fine tuned level of communication unheard of for most of the cast, but Kai and Zane have it down to a t.

And, in one of my most famous examples, the scene where Lloyd was trying to get Zane to remember everyone, he mentions Kai last. In the context of what he was saying “don’t you remember wu, or pixal, or… or Kai?” It implies that KAI, in some unspoken but universally understood way, is the most important person to Zane. Listen, if I were a normal writer for the show, I would either list everyone on the team, THEN end at wu and pixal, or just stop at wu and pixal since most of the time they’re treated as the closest to Zane. But the writers didn’t do that, so I’m left with the most insane analysis of my life that I could continue on and on about just because OF HOW OFTEN IT HAPPENS WITH NO REAL EXPLANATION. WHY ARE THEY LIKE THIS.

#ninjago #Kai smith #Zane julien #sugartalks #Yknow what. YEAH. I’ll tag it as oppo because it informs my biase and interpretation for them #oppositeshipping #but this analysis is mostly talking about how weird it is that it keeps happening.#in intense scenes they’re treated almost identically to Jaya. which is definitely not intentional but like. WHY DOES IT KEEP HAPPENING

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respectthepetty · 1 year

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The Warmth of the Sun

It’s not as happy and warm as it used to be anymore - Episode 6

Previous Posts' Recap: Ep. 1 [Yin & Yang], Ep. 2 [The Color of Anxiety], Ep. 3 [Do you get déjà vu?], Ep. 4 [The Cages We Live In], Ep. 5 [You Changed Me]

It’s in his kiss

Nine is about an inch or so taller than Mangkorn, yet Nine dominates Yai when they are on screen together compared to Mangkorn.

This is done through camera angles and positions. Mangkorn and Yai have their most intimate moments sitting down or with camera magic helping create balance, but Yai and Nine tend to stand and their shots are full on. This is done to see the difference in balance between the two pairs.

During the kiss, Nine looms over Yai, while the wall in the background of Mangkorn and Yai’s kiss helps create balance.

Also, when kissing Nine, Yai stays solid on the ground, while he gets on his toes when kissing Mangkorn. Nine also doesn’t tilt while Mangkorn does.

Finally, Nine keeps distance between them requiring Yai to stretch. Mangkorn always breaks Yai’s barrier, which allows Yai to lean into Mangkorn instead of stretching. *Note Nine wears shoes that Yai usually wears, but Yai's favorite shoes aren't expensive.

Mangkorn gives as much as he gets to create balance while Nine wants to maintain the power *put a pin it in*

Timeline

Mangkorn and Yai have been in this situation-ship for a few months because they began when the semester ended, and a new semester has begun.

We learn that in episode 4, Mangkorn confessed to liking guys AND told his mother about Yai.

Therefore, when Mangkorn sees Yai in the café and kisses Yai in the park, he already sees Yai as his someone special.

When Mangkorn makes Yai food and tells Yai that his mother would be happy, it is because he knows she will be since they have already talked, and when she surprises Mangkorn and Yai at the house in episode 4, she already knows who Yai is.

We see the conversation Mangkorn has with his mother when they left Yai upstairs in episode 4. She tells him going to New York won’t solve his issue with the arranged marriage and would be unfair to Yai to leave him.

Mangkorn confesses to liking Yai since freshman year, which tracks with the amount of knowledge he has about Yai.

However, they first met when they were children in the same kite-flying scene we saw in episode 4 when Mangkorn was with Hong. *look at the colors they are wearing!*

We know Nine and Yai are childhood friends, and Nine throws this in Mangkorn face in the next episode's preview, but the timeline revelations in this episode show that Mangkorn has had a crush on Yai much longer.

Moon & Sun

Yai makes a comment that their relationship is like the sun, and the closer they get, the more they will get burned.

When they are emotionally vulnerable with each other, we have seen a moon (after the noodle date, before the argument outside the university, etc.), so they feel comfortable at night, but Mangkorn kisses Yai both times during the daylight in public.

The bar they are fixing up together is called the Sunrise and is where they had the first sexual encounter. They have to be in the sun and open for their love to shine, not burn. *put another pin in it*

Colors & Symbols

The moment Nine asks about Park and Phong, we see the blue drink with the pink straw that has just left a sour taste in Yai’s mouth *put a pin in it*

Mangkorn is thinking through his feelings for Yai in this pink-means-in-love room.

The captions state he is thinking of calling his father, but the contact icon shows a tiger, which is Yai’s symbol. Also, Mangkorn put himself in Yai's phone as "boyfriend"

Yai is back to wearing his tiger necklace because he is trying to get back to normal, but Mangkorn doesn’t wear his color at all this episode *put a pin in it* Yet is surrounded by reminders of his relationship with Yai with reds, black and white.

But when they are arguing in the room and calling each other Mr. Yai and Mr. Akira, every time they are shown in the mirror, which is a reflection of their honest selves, they are balanced on the other person’s side through color – Mangkorn is in Yai’s darkness, and Yai is in Mangkorn’s light, but the angle shows that Mangkorn is higher or more honest. They are very much in love with each other but Yai is trying to hide it.

A little nod to the devil

Red *unleash the pins!*

Yai states that when his mother was alive, his world was happy, but since she has been gone, his world is sad. Like Kabe-Koji and Thor: Love and Thunder, lack of feelings and emotions is shown through he use of black and white. A majority of Yai’s life is black and white, but when his mother was alive, there was color.

Specifically, red.

The mother AND Yai used red chopsticks. The necklace she gave him was also red.

Mangkorn has had this necklace since Yai lost it as a child. The necklace has the yin yang symbol and black and red blocks that represent Mangkorn and Yai.

When Mangkorn gives the necklace back, he is giving himself to Yai. He has been giving Yai the color and love he has been missing throughout the series.

While Nine tries to reinforce this colorless and emotionless world. Nine wears black often and wipes away the red on Yai’s shoe with a black and white cloth.

Mangkorn cares for Yai by making him and treating him to Chinese dishes; he is giving Yai parts of himself. Nine gives him items that are sour and not heartfelt. Even the father’s girlfriend suggests taking Yai to China which is an extension of Mangkorn.

Mangkorn wants to know who Yai is, while Nine wants to reminisce on who Yai was.

Nine continues to laugh about Yai as a child afraid of caterpillars and following him around, but doesn’t acknowledge the man in front of him. Nine left for three years and didn’t speak to Yai, while Mangkorn hasn't left Yai alone even when he is busy.

The good old days no longer define Yai or Mangkorn. They are evolving and being tied to tradition has caused them more grief than comfort. Yai wears his favorite pair of shoes even though he has outgrown them and hurt. Mangkorn thinks leaving to New York will solve an arraigned marriage his father has planned for him since birth. As Ma stated, these days love is no longer defined by gender, so breaking free from the past is what both men need.

Red symbolizes the sun, so even though Yai believes the closer they get, the more they will hurt, without the sun, their love can’t grow. Without the sun, Yai can’t experience its warmth. Without red, Yai will remain colorless. Yai can no longer live this black and white life in cold dark spaces, and his heart knows that as it starts to turn red.

Yai must step into the sun. He must let Mr. Akira love him.

#big dragon #big dragon the series #mangkorn x yai #episode 6 #the cinematography #the colors mean things #the warmth of the sun

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letmereadinpeace4 · 5 months

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My Dear Gangster Oppa Commentary Ep 4

Here is the review for episode 4. Last time, Wahl was a jerk, the guild members were amazing, Tew and Guy got closer, Tew bought a restaurant to maintain his lie and Guy found out the truth about Tew and confronted him about it.

Guy is terrified at Tew’s aggressive approach, which must be heartbreaking for Tew, since one of the thing he loved about Guy was the fact that he was not afraid of him. Both reactions are understandable, but it is heartbreaking to see after seeing them get along so well.

There is something really poetic about Guy asking Tew who he was, and Tew showing him his scars in response. I am a firm believer that knowing someone involves knowing about what has hurt them. After the last episode where Guy has opened about his feelings for Wahl and how it has hurt him, it is now Tew’s turn to open about his involvement in the mafia.

I really appreciate how Meen makes his voice much harsher now that he is explaining things to Guy. It is a tone that we have never heard him use with Guy and it reveals how much this moment is a point of crisis. Yes Tew is opening up about his life, but the truth is such that its revelation must be a turning point in the relationship no matter what Guy’s reaction is.

I do not understand the “I did not tell you because I wanted to protect you” thing. In some contexts it can make sense, but in this one whether Guy knows the truth or not is irrelevant, since whether he is attacked or not is not dependent on his actions but on those of Tew’s enemies. In reality, in this context, Guy knowing the truth would actually make him safer, as it would make him more careful. I am choosing to make this a character issue and not a writing issue, because it is more interesting that way. Tew making it all about how he wanted to keep Guy safe actually masks the reality that he did not tell Guy because he liked having a relationship with someone who treated him normally and not like a mafia boss. Tew probably knows that but admitting it at a point when Guy is emotionally closed off from him would make him vulnerable in a situation where he does not feel safe.

We have a new reason for playing video games that is introduced: escapism, which is pretty valid. I wonder if the different reasons for playing video games will remain a running theme in the drama or if it will stop once we get to the “darker” part.

Tew’s relationship with his dad is pretty cute. I like how close they are. It makes it all the more heartbreaking when his dad dies.

The bullies are so ridiculous to me. We don’t know where they come from or even what age they are. They are dressed like engineering students with the red jackets but some look way older than their twenties. That having been said they are assholes so I certainly hope Tew messes them up in the future.

Tew is immediately on the path to vengeance on stereotypical bullies™ for preventing him from being with his dad in his last moments, which is fair and also the backstory of one of my favorite magical girl’s character. Tew is also probably externalizing some pain from his dad’s death, in a “I don’t want to cry I want to break something” kind of way.

In terms of fight choreography this is not the worst fight I have seen in a BL. You can actually believe that the characters are getting punched.

This escalated super quickly with the gun and Tew actually killing someone. Also I am not sure that you can actually go on this long with a bullet in your chest. Let’s put this on adrenaline.

I am confused on how Tew ended on mafia guy’s doorstep and why. Actually I am also confused on how it is night and no one has heard the gun shots and called the police and/or an ambulance. Or even how no one saw four guy beaten to death on the pavement. I know people like to mind their own business but still.

This definitely reframes Tew’s decision to spend as much time as possible with Guy. Also Guy going from “OMG dangerous mafia guy what is he going to do with me?” to “Oh you poor thing you suffered so much” as soon as he hears Tew’s tragic backstory is on brand for both him and the fandom.

So Koon Paiboon is the mafia boss and works in real estate. Considering the prices in real estate I can absolutely believe it.

I am confused on why Koon Paiboon would ever bother with Tew. Like yes he is a good fighter but still….I guess we can put it on “Better recruit them than kill them”, although it has not been made clear whether stereotypical bullies™ belong to the mafia.

Koon Paiboon gives Tew a purpose in life and a way to get his vengeance. I can understand why Tew would jump on the occasion and allow himself to fall in this world. Still, the list of stuff he has done and his career makes me confused as to how old Tew is supposed to be. He does not look that much older than Guy, but he was in university when his dad died. Either he climbed the ranks extremely fast or he looks much younger than he actually is.

I do like that Tew gives Guy the choice as to whether their relationship will continue or not. It is really sweet of him.

Guy focusing on the shabu restaurant makes me laugh so hard. Like yes your brain focuses on the most random of stuff in times of crisis and he probably does not grasp the reality of “My love interest killed people” yet, but it is such a bizarre thing to actually get angry about. Although I guess that the shabu restaurant was the only actual lie Tew said, the rest were mostly omissions. My problem is just that the way the scene was structured, it looks like it is the reason Guy left, when in reality Guy leaving because the dangers and responsibilities of dating a high rank mafia mobster is not what he signed was a perfectly fine reason on its own.

So Guy chooses to leave Tew. Heartbreaking for both of them honestly. Tew calling for Guy was just pure sad. Their relationship was really important for both of them so losing it is extremely painful. Both of them are very depressed about it. Furthermore this is probably the closest they have gone to anyone in their lives so this makes the break up doubly painful.

Tew’s lie about the restaurant is firing back on him in so many ways. He is way better at managing the mafia side of things than the romantic side of things though, which is pretty on brand for him.

Wait I just noticed Boss was here. If he is not a spy this is probably not how he expected to handle on his job.

Koon Paiboon demands that Tew executes Kenji for lying to him. I do not get his logic though. If anything, a subordinate bringing up that another subordinate might be betraying you is a good thing. Kenji was, as hilarious and wrong as he was, actually thinking that Tew was betraying Koon Paiboon. Therefore, Koon Paiboon is actually punishing his subordinate for being loyal, which is not a good thing because other subordinates will see that and decide that they will not make the same mistake, so other potential betrayals might not be brought up because people are afraid of being punished if they are wrong.

Wow Guy this is such a shitty thing to do to your guild. I get that you are depressed and hurt but this not does actually solve anything.

Guy hoping that Tew was at the door when it was actually Wahl is heartbreaking. Guy is, as usual, caught up in Wahl’s pace and cannot refuse him.

And after an intermission where we see Kenji having sex in a bathtub with two guys (...why?) we go back to Wahl and Guy having another episode of their toxic relationship. Wahl is digging the knife in the wound, not even asking how it actually went or how Guy feels. Just immediately goes on to sugarcoat the whole thing and make declarations of friendship. Guy getting caught up in this sudden love bombing is just really sad.

It speaks to a very dark part of my mind that I find Tew really sexy when he is in dangerous mode.

The back and forth and constant tone shifting between Guy and Wahl’s toxic relationship and Tew having a mafia issue with Kenji makes my head hurt.

For the love of everything that is good in the world! Tew, sparing him is bad idea! He hates you! He will not be grateful to you!

Guy and Wahl have a fall cute, which is significantly less cute than when it happens with Guy and Tew. This really plays with Guy’s feelings though. The problem is that moments and actions that would be perfectly fine in a normal friendship are made painful because Guy’s unrequited feelings for Wahl transform them into constant attacks on his heart.

Wahl and Guy have an almost kiss, that Wahl immediately backs from with no explanation. On the one hand, it could be that he has feelings for Guy and is having trouble handling them, which is understandable but still a douchy thing to do to him. On the other hand, Wahl expressing attraction to Guy just after his break up with “competition” and once he has Guy to himself is suspicious. So far, Wahl’s “crimes” have mostly been limited to him being thoughtless, selfish and possessive, which is not great but still in the range of “idiotic young adult who has a lot of room to grow”. If we add being manipulative and exploiting Guy’s feelings for him it makes Wahl a much darker character.

Guy has been talking about getting over Wahl since the first episode, but understandably he is not making a lot of progress. The issue is that Guy will only be able to get over his feelings for Wahl in two ways: finding another love interest or distancing himself from him. As sad as it is Guy cannot keep his friendship with Wahl the same as it is and get over his feelings.

And Guy decided to run away...So far in this episode, Guy has ran away from any confrontation or difficult decisions. It is understandable but still...It shows that he has a lot of growing up to do.

And Tew and Wahl meet each other as Guy has went missing. The confrontation goes wrong as Wahl goes into overprotective mode as usual. One of the massive differences between them is that Wahl constantly makes choices for Guy, while Tew lets Guy makes his own choices. This really undermines Wahl’s point of “you are dangerous stay away from my friend”. Wahl may have punched Tew, but Tew quickly takes control of the situation in an awesome way. Wahl may bark loud but he cannot take it if someone actually stands up to him. I do love that rather than getting caught up in Wahl’s nonsense, Tew puts the priority on Guy and where he is. He is acting like a much caring friend than Wahl does.

Guy apparently decided that he was going to pursue his dramatic brooding in his hometown. His mother seems like a really caring mom and she has a very knowing look. I bet she knows more than Guy thinks she does. I love the family meal scene. It is cute and such a moment of relief for Guy, who has been on edge since the beginning of the episode.

Wait, so Wahl called Guy once and then….gave up? Yeah I can feel the deep friendship and concern between them /s. Also Guy is not doing a good job at getting over his feelings for Wahl by constantly waiting for Wahl to pay any attention to him. Predictably, only Tew actually bothered to call Guy several times.

The confrontation between Guy and Tew and Tew’s confession to Guy is really, really good. It is easily the best scene of the episode and perfectly in character for both of them. I absolutely love it!

Final Thoughts:

As is probably very clear from this review, I think this episode is the weakest so far. It is not bad and I enjoyed it, but the best scenes of the episode are the ones involving Guy, Tew, and to some extent Wahl. The mafia parts just leave me very confused. In theory, I have no issue with mixing slice of life with mafia drama, my problem is about the execution. The characters involved in the mafia parts are, beside Tew and Tul, not well established and their goals and personalities are limited to what is strictly necessary. Why did Koon Paiboon mentor Tew and how did he actually came to be “interested” in him? What is Kenji’s deal/backstory and why does he hate Tew so much? In the same way, what is Tew’s relationship with Kenji and why does he leave him alive? At this point where Tew’s involvement with the mafia is in crisis, we should have at least some answers to these questions, but because the characters seem to be strictly limited to their function, we are mostly left with characters who act certain ways because the plot demands they do rather than because it feels like a natural progression of their characters. I hope that things get better in future episodes but so far I have been disappointed by this part.

In contrast, I absolutely love the way the drama depicts the toxic relationship between Wahl and Guy. It would have been easy to write a succession of scenes where Wahl acts like a douche and leave it there, but the writers also show us scenes where they get along, where they make plans together, where they tease each other. This makes their friendship much more real and explains why Guy is having so much trouble letting go of Wahl. It is easy to say that Guy should slam the door in Wahl’s face and tell him to go fuck himself, but Guy is caught between moments where Wahl acts like a decent, if pushy, friend, and moments where Wahl acts like a possessive jerk. Of course he is having trouble establishing boundaries. He just doesn’t know how to feel about Wahl’s actions.

Tew and Guy’s relationship remains the highlight of this drama. Even during painful scenes, they are a delight to watch.

I am looking forward to episode 5 and I hope I will manage to write down my reaction sooner than I did this week.

#my dear gangster oppa #thai bl #letmerantinpeace

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yanderes-galore · 2 years

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since we both love the parasitica ep how about a parasitic leo and parasitic raph team up.

cant be that bad right ?

Can, indeed, be bad. Feral Yandere time :) We get a bit animalistic and gross over here.

You could kind of count this as an alternate route to Parasitica! Leonardo, vaguely, as in there's a similar plot just different ending. Would like feedback :)

Again, just like in the Leo one, Darling is called queen so warning for that. Aged up, as usual.

Yandere! Parasitica! Leonardo + Parasitica! Raphael

Short Concept

Pairing: Rivalry - Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Yandere-like behavior, Feral/Animalistic behavior, Possessive behavior, Kidnapping, Breaking in, Licking, Mind control/brain washing, Mentions of wanting to vomit, Mentions of being 'claimed'.

- What's worse than one brainwashed turtle obsessed with you?

- Two brainwashed turtles....

- It all starts with Leonardo becoming infected.

- He's normal at first but adamant on keeping the egg.

- He's also... staring at you sometimes.

- Maybe in this concept Raphael also has some sort of crush on you too, like Leo.

- The red turtle senses something is off with his brother and gestures you closer.

- "Something's wrong... stay by me. Leo doesn't seem right."

- To your horror, Raph is right.

- The next morning you find out Leonardo has just been staring at the egg, changed from his usual self.

- Pitch black eyes, drool leaking constantly from his mouth.

- You came down to the sewer to check on them all.

- Leo was docile in Donnie's lab for the most part, until you entered.

- The infected turtle immediately looking up and turning his head.

- You stop approaching when those black eyes stare into your own.

- "(Y/N)...?"

- That voice sounds like Leo... but he clearly wasn't well.

- "Leo...."

- Unexpectedly, Leo breaks into a sprint and lunges forward.

- "Queen...!"

- "(Y/N), MOVE!"

- You're pushed out of the way by Raphael, tumbling to the floor with the red turtle holding you by him.

- Leo steadied himself on all fours, black eyes frantic until they land on you and Raphael.

- There's a growl from Leo.

- "Get away!"

- "Mikey, get (Y/N) out of here."

- "Got it!"

- "Mine!"

- It's then you're traded off to Michelangelo, leaving Donnie alone with Raph and an infected Leo.

- You don't feel safe until you're home, Mikey dropping you off.

- "Will... Will the others be okay?"

- "Should be! They can handle themselves, I'm sure. You okay alone?"

- "Yes... but you should go back. You need to help them...."

- With that Mikey departs.

- You hear no updates until hours later, getting messages from Donatello on your phone.

- Turns out when Raphael had protected you, Leo had gotten a chance to bite him.

- Now Donnie and Mikey were trying to watch two infected turtles while looking for a cure.

- Until then, you had to stay home.

- "They seem awfully focused on you... It's strange. Leo and Raph have been antsy ever since you left. You must have some sort of effect on them."

- That theory did little to make you feel better.

- Great, you were the brainwashed turtle whisperer.

- Nevertheless you listened to Donnie's warning and stayed home.

- Worry ate away at you, yet you believed they had this under control.

- Until you were alerted by Donnie they managed to leave.

- "Stay calm. Me and Mikey are trying to track them."

- It was hard to when you heard banging on your window.

- Another bang coming from your door.

- Looking at your window you see one of the infected turtles, black eyes staring at you.

- You gag when you see a slobbering tongue lick at the glass slowly, another aggressive thump by a strong hand.

- You flee to look for somewhere to hide.

- Only for your door to be knocked down and the window shatters.

- You were cornered, both turtles you considered your friends now complete and utter monsters.

- "There you are...."

- "We missed you~"

- You shake your head, backing up before being pinned to the wall.

- They never bite you, thankfully, but your struggling against their curious touches and tongues was futile.

- "We've hidden the egg... we've come to retrieve you, queen!"

- "You'll foster the brood well... stay with us!"

- Their actions are animalistic.

- One of them nuzzling into you while the other covers you in disgusting saliva.

- It was as though they were claiming you....

- You were on the verge of spewing.

- You thought you had a chance at escaping when they backed off, only for Leo to pick you up and nuzzle into you.

- "Hey!" Raphael snarls "No fair...."

- Leo only snickers, you on the other hand, feel tears come down your cheeks.

- You just wanted your friends back....

#yandere tmnt #yandere tmnt 2012 #yandere teenage mutant ninja turtles #yandere tmnt leonardo #yandere tmnt raphael #yandere parasitica leonardo #yandere parasitica raphael #yandere leonardo #yandere raphael

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wanderlust-in-my-soul · 1 year

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My weekly roundup CW 13

Well, I watch a lot during the week, as you all might know. I really want to write a little bit more about the stuff I watch, but time and work kind of get in my creative way. So I try to write down my thoughts after watching stuff to create a little weekly ranking in relation to the previous week on my, most of the times, quiet sundays (and because I love lists and this is a good excuse for me to create a new OneNote journal!).

The Promis is on hiatus, so it didn't make it on this week's list.

→ 1. Our Dating Sim (Ep 7+8 / The Final)

The final! It is so perfect. The whole story just feels realistic! How Wan makes his decision at the end is understandable and that they then offer him to develop a webseries out of the game, perfect. Ki Tae's fear of loss broke my heart. I can understand him so well. What I especially liked were the little things. How Ki Tae and Wan hold hands in the office, how Wan hugs Ki Tae a little tighter when he realizes how much his leaving in the past hurt Ki Tae. The whole birthday present with the snippets of Wan's life where he missed or thought of Ki Tae. Uhhh, that gives me goosebumps and tears in my eyes right away. The last scene where Wan says goodbye to Ki Tae and gives him little pats on the butt. This normal tenderness that belongs to most relationships was just beautiful to watch. It all seemed very natural and that's why again this week's number one goes to Our Dating Sim. And if people haven't already, check out the BTS…highly recommended!

→ 2. Unintentional Love Story (Ep 5+6)

Okay…I think it's so ridiculous that some people really skip the show because there is a Dead Fish kiss. The chemistry between the two is just awesome! I didn't watch that scene just one time. Yes, I just close my eyes for a moment or look away during the kiss, but the whole build up to the kiss and up to the second is so worth the watch! It is just so good! I felt it tingle in my stomach. I love the story of the two mains and also the second couple. I'm excited about the series and I really wish more people would watch it, despite the not so nice kiss. Yes, it sucked, but it doesn't take away from my enjoyment of the series. There were worse ones, but I probably didn't like the show that much either (All the liquors I'm looking at you).

↑ 3. A Shoulder To Cry On (Ep 5+6+7 / The Final)

Reading the comments on MDL, you can get really sad. It feels like every second person is upset that there wasn't a kiss and I'm sitting here, being glad that there was at least an "I like you". That's where they stayed true to the manhwa. Their love is a little different than others. They aren't big on romance, the bouquet of flowers at the end was really a lot. In general the weekend away was something special. And why not show this side of the romantic relationship? I think it's good that not everything always has to be so over-romanticized, but that relationships also sometimes start slowly, take their time until the characters feel comfortable with each other or just don't show that much affection. That doesn't mean they don't care for each other or love each other. It is so stupid to always demand a kiss. Not every relationship needs those and not every story needs them. I thought the series was great. Great chemistry and a cute story.

☼ 4. The Eighth Sense (Ep 1+2)

Ohhh such a good start. I love stories about surfers. I've been excited about the subject matter since "Shelter" (one of the best queer movies I've seen). The story starts with what I would say attraction/interest-at-first-sight and I like it so much. Also how the more introverted Ji Hyun comes out of his shell and wants to learn to surf to get closer to Jae Won, at least as a friend. I'm already looking forward to the heartbreak! It's going to hurt so good. If there's no happy ending, I'm starting a revolt. I really can recommend this series.

↑ 5. Jack o’Frost (Ep 6 / The Final)

All in all, the final was a bit unspectacular, but it fits the overall picture of the series. Not that it was bad or boring, but it was told at a steady pace and I like that. I think it's nice that Ritsu was able to remember everything at the end and give the relationship a second chance. Now the reason for forgiving Fumiya, that he hid from him they didn't meet each other for the first time at the cafe, I thought was a bit weak, but again sweet because he was able to give their shared history a different meaning. The way he forgot everything about Fumiya after his accident and can now remember everything about him has something very romantic and I think that this time they'll manage to communicate and make each other happy.

↑ 6. Bed Friend (Ep 7)

I wanted to hit them all! King, you stupid idiot! The man you love comes out of the boss's office visibly distraught and you can't think of anything better to do than accuse him of doing it on purpose? Your stupid jealousy comes at the shittiest time ever here! A slap for you! And Krit…you fucking asshole! I'm really uncomfortable watching him act. Not just the sexual assault, but the invasion of Uea's privacy when he showed up at his family's home. That's where it really shakes me. A kick in the nuts for you. And at the end, Uea's mom gets a load too. What a bitch! I hate her. It's good that Uea was finally able to stand up to her a bit. Hopefully he can cut off contact altogether. I big fat slap on her filthy mouth. I feel sorry for his poor sister too. What a crappy episode full of trauma and pain! Honestly, I'm so fascinated by how Uea continues to stand tall. I would have broken down. But he's a strong guy! Jade was the sweetheart in this episode. A little silly at times, but a true good friend.

↓ 7. Chains Of Heart (Ep 7)

Oh man. This show is killing me. Can't they finally kiss? What is this series waiting for? Something until the last episode? Looking at the previews, I don't even want to see the next episode…But back to this episode, where it felt like hardly anything happened. There was a stupid fight in an alley, sorry, but Hin really shouldn't fight…it looks way too posed. I don't like DeeDee. He is way too possessive of Ken for me. You two aren't dating and just because you are jealous doesn't mean Mr. Lue is a bad person. Yes, I'm still on his side. Poor little guy. Had to get drunk this week out of heartbreak. Ken was mean though…Well, they still ended up in bed together in the end! And the scene with the friends outside the door was indeed hilarious. I also think Din as Mr. Lue is trying to expose our one-eyed man and his illegal dealings, and the purchase of the wood is meant to be a trap. At least something I can take away from this episode as insight.

→ 8. A Boss And A Babe (Ep 5)

I don't know, I think Gun approaches the whole thing a bit too offensively. I really didn't like the kiss in the car. To see how confused and jealous Cher is, however, I find very sweet again. Yes, Gun has to bring out the big guns to show Cher that he likes him, but just because our boy just don't get what Gun is trying to tell him doesn't mean I have to like what he's doing. I continue to think it's good that Gun values Cher's opinion so much. I think he needs that kind of appreciation a lot, especially considering his past. Oh yeah, I think they're cute together.

→ 9. Tin Tem Jai (Ep 5)

And we took 45 steps back and the show is kind of annoying like before...Tin can't stop aksing Park to marry him and it gets to a point where it just annoys the crap out of me. But Park can't say a clear word so what do we do here? Just let him date the cute senior and Park sucking up on his jealousy. I feel there is no progress between those two.

→ 10. PastSenger (Ep 4)

I'm writing the recap on sunday and honestly, I don't remember what happened. All I remember is that they almost kissed, in Kiao's memory of their clash they kissed. There were so many filler scenes in it. I don't have to watch the friends eat for ten minutes without anything happening or talking. I didn't get the slave thing either. Why am I still watching it? I don't know. Now I have The Eighth Sense to watch on wednesdays and I'm so much more into it! And these stupid revenge plots…Oh man, you're in university and not in kindergarten anymore.

#josi watching bl #weekly update #weekly wrap up #sunday charts #our dating sim #unintentional love story #a shoulder to cry on #the eighth sense #jack o' frost #bed friend #chains of heart #a boss and a babe #tin tem jai #past senger #bl drama #bl series

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goldenkamuyhunting · 5 days

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Hi thankyou for writing very informative analysis on GK!my first encounter with your posts is looking up their heights and then the army rankings in order of our beloved characters. While I try to avoid spoilers, I have already heard from a friend that the manga ending is rushed..

if you are following the anime to s4 is Asirpa's feeling for sugimoto as obvious in the anime compared to the manga? [I'm so far an anime only and will start s3 soon. I also am reading the manga up to Sapporo hotel arc]

Do you know how it's profitable for publishers to rush their artists when obviously it's fans are still willing to buy more of their comics.. like extend their contracts perhaps.. I felt quite sad for how some animes turned out and would hate for GK to go that route

Lol is it possible for Noda to draw Canon extras on his blog of GK despite the end of the manga? Or is he also present in the anime direction? I heard that if he was given more chapters to write, he would be able to elaborate on the character's choices in the ending so hopefully hes got a say in the anime.

Lastly, do you think S5 is the season finale based on the pace? I love to bingewatch shows.

Thankyou

Welcome in the GK world!

If possible the anime (especially in the first 2 series) made Asirpa's feelings for Sugimoto even more obvious than they were in the manga, people who were strongly against the idea of an eventual Sugi/Ripa endgame complained about it more than once.

For start it cut completely Umeko's role (in the manga Umeko was declared in the early chapters as the woman Sugimoto loved) and started giving Sugimoto and Asirpa more space, from ep 16 in which Sugimoto picks up Asirpa in his arms to take her away from Hijikata to an huge expansion of the scene in which they hid in deer skins in Ep 17 to the ending theme of the second series with Asirpa with her hand on Sugimoto's heart, to the finale itself in which Asirpa, who normally doesn't believe in dreams, dreams Sugimoto and believes it's a dream sent to her by the gods and in her dreams Sugimoto tells her the things he wanted to tell her as if they were having a mental connection, a scene that's not in the manga.

Part of the criticism though didn't steem just by people hating the Sugi/Ripa but also by how the second season cut a lot of scenes from the manga to then add this sort of scenes which weren't in the manga and seemed to promore the Sugi/Ripa agenda.

Season 3 and 4 were closer to the manga so didn't got as much criticism.

It's unknown if Noda was rushed by his editor or not. It might be he was bored or got worned out by GK. Or it might be he didn't even realize his work felt rushed, maybe he only wanted to make it fast paced and... well, it didn't quite work.

Of he just did wrong his math, he wanted to end the story at Vol 31 (due to one of the possible reading for 31 being Saichi, Sugimoto's name) but created too many sideplots he had to solve so he had to rush.

This is actually a concrete possibility as the last volumes are REALLY big because they also contain more chapters than usual when he could have instead just put in them less chapters and made one more volume.

Since GK was a successfull manga I honestly find hard to believe Noda was pressured to end it unless there was some problem I know nothing about.

Anime are a different matter as in the last years their main source of income are often the dvd so they're often kept short (12 episodes) in order to sell the dvd quickly and efficently.

I doubt Noda will have time to draw canon extras on his blog, as he's working on another manga. The most he might do is drawing extra illustrations.

Who knows, maybe extra might be drawn if he were to take part to some other GK project.

I don't really know how much involved he is in the anime I've heard he was consulted for some things but, as a mangaka, Noda is already pretty busy on his own so I don't know if he would have the time to get involved more... and I've my doubts on him wanting to expant the anime ending. It's of course not impossible but I'm not sure he would be interested in it.

Currently the anime covers till half of Vol 25. This would mean 6 volumes and a half are missing... but we could also say 7 volumes since as I said the last volumes are bigger than the others.

The remaining arcs are losely 3, the Hokkaido one, the Fort Goryokaku one and the train ride one.

If the anime has 12 episodes, it means 4 episodes for each arc, if they increase the episode number (season 4 has 13 episodes so 12 isn't a given) and let's say go at 15, it would make 5 episodes for each arc.

It's possible to fit everything in, though if we fit everything well or in a rushed manner is up to the authors. Brain's base to me looked better than Geno studio so they could make it... because splitting those 3 arcs in 2 series seems too long to me.

Of course an even better solution could be put 2 arcs in the anime and the final arc in a movie... but I think they're more likely to keep everything in one anime.

Due to Geno Studio's anime poor quality as far as I know the GK anime isn't super popular and it would be hard for a movie to attrack enough audience so it's likely the next series is the final one.

Still, that's just me and I might be wrong so take this with a grain of salt.

Thank you for your ask!

#Ask #Sugimoto Saichi #Asirpa #Kenmochi Umeko

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passanima · 2 years

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thoughts about the anime “zombie loan”

episode 1

it's about this high school girl who has the "eyes of the reaper" meaning she can see people who are about to die in the form of a mark around their neck. thing i like about that is what stop her from seeing these things: glasses. the irony of something that's supposed to help you see better, but does the opposite lol

anyway, there's these two dudes in her school who are famous cause they're the only survivors of an accident that killed over 20 people main girl faint when she see they have the mark around their neck turns out they did die that time and are now zombies

but you learn all that in the first half of the first ep... a better anime would have upped the mystery and only revealed that at the very end

mc is also a very nervous girl who lack self estime to the point she's being bullied by her "friends" but she think it's normal (isn't presented that well but i assume she's just used to people treating her that way and might expect it, hence why she doesn't self pity or hope for anything better) they haven't said so yet but i'm guessing she wasn't born with this ability, she got it after almost dying herself or witnessing someone’s death, which would lead to trauma and her strong response to seeing the marks/refusing to let go of her glasses... at the same time her fainting about it is a LOT for a character that should be used to it at this point

kinda wish that she was more depressed/defeated about the whole thing even if it sounds bad. the same way she just accept the bullying, she see the worst in people and just goes "yea... make sense". literally expect nothing in life, as no dream or ambition... specially wish that when she realize the guys are zombies (with their hands disconnecting from their bodies) she just has no reaction to it, which freak them out cause they expected screaming/fainting

the two guys suck SO BAD in first ep

A is the quiet prince type while B is the overactive delinquent type who shaped his whole personality around being rude so B bullying mc i did expect it (he demands money from her cause she bumped into him) but later on she talk to them about being dead and ask why they're trying so hard to come back to life, saying if she was dead she'd be like "oh well" about it and A is the one to insult her out of nowhere even tho he had been kinda decent to her so far. saying she's the worst kind of person and why doesn't she KILL HERSELF already since she's not even living life like my dude....... the fuck. he even has the audacity of telling her "you don't know what it's like being dead" like... duh? idiot?

she said something so simple, so mild, and he told her to kill herself over it and he'll never waste his time being nice to her again (while he was just being decent, not even nice) like MY GUY your friend bullied her and you did nothing, you're a piece of shit actually

anyway main idea is that these dude have a loan to pay to be alive again and to do that they have to kill other zombies but they can't tell who is so they need her eyes WHICH IS INTERESTING cause when she ask "but isn't that mean to kill people like you" A went "they're nothing like us, they're hollow inside, have no dream or personalities" yet you can't... distinguish them from living humans? people you say aren't even people cause they're hollow? look and act the same as people who are full? hmmmmmm

in my rewrite he still says this shit and mc is still forced to help them (cause they don't ask by the way) but due to feeling hollow herself she feels closer to "hollow zombies" than these boys

episode 2

quite a lot happened in this one but it didn't feel like it cause it had no impact (even tho the writers really were trying to make you feel something)

we learn that after her parents died, mc started living with her uncle and aunt. but they do not provide for her out of love or pity: they're waiting until she comes of age (currently 16) so that she split her inheritence money with them. understandabily so, she doesn't like living with them. dude A and B come visit her as she pretend to be sick. she doesn't tell them to leave even tho they're literally her bullies who force her to work for them. they, of course, make fun of her living situation. B says "why don't you just leave if you hate it so much here" cause it sure is easy for a minor with no job or money to live on their own, thanks for your input, B! he also tells her he hates her (unprompted)

mc pretended to be sick to not go to school cause she saw the neck mark on herself, letting her know she will die soon. so she's scared of it happening if she leaves home the dudes of course tell her to join them later for work (she has not been paid for it so far), not giving her a chance as there will be consequences if she doesn't comply lately there as been disappearance of girls in their school and the dudes think it's a zombie eating them so they need mc to run around school as bait to find the culprit

meaning if you follow.... that they're the reason she has a mark on her neck. they're the one who forced her to be bait, and be killed by the zombie

the zombie also happened to be the school nurse and that's how we get lesbophobia, as she's only interested in girls (to eat, but it's strongly implied for her attraction to be more than that)

the irony of the dudes thinking they're better than "these" zombies because they don't eat people... but they're also murderers. the only difference is one kills to eat while the others kill to pay off their debt. either way, they both do it to "live", as A and B supposedly get to live again once their debt is paid

when the nurse attack (and kills) mc, she also cuts one of her braids. and that's the kind of shit that gets me usually, love a good dramatic scene of a girl (or someone else) cutting her long hair. but... this one kinda sucked. it wasn't dramatic and i felt nothing. disappointed didn't even look like it meant anything, as a scene, or for the mc (which, to be fair, are more important things to worry about, as she's currently dying)

anyway, the dudes do nothing to help. just ask her what her dying words are. she cries "i don't want to die" they do end up saving her... even tho earlier the guy they work for said it was too late for her. she didn't turn into a zombie like them, but they basically forced her into a "contrat" meaning she owe them her life and have to PAY for it. so now she's forced to work with her bully because they literally own her. nice! and it's presented like she should thank them... lol

the resolution for mc living situation with her family? she pays what she "owe" them for letting her live in their house and feeding her (even tho as family... there should be no debt? they're not your landlord) and leave them the house (which i assume is her PARENT'S HOUSE? so all things considered if you have to create a loan situation out of this they're the one who owe you shit??) and it's shown as a "gotcha" moment because she won't give them anything else when... she didn't have to give them a cent to begin with, legally. like girl are you ok?

mc takes boy B sword to cut off her remaining braid (for some reason didn't do it till now) and the boys look shocked by it. but the scene doesn't even last long enough or given enough weight to be "a thing" so... what was the point? ep ends with her being homeless but happy about it? anyway i expect she's gonna live with the dudes now, which i'm not happy about

a point i didn't touch on till now even tho it's kinda important (but again... not even presented as such, i don't get the writers) is that by mc playing bait, she saved her classmate's life. who happens to be one of her "friends" who's actually a bully. we have a short flashback to a conversation they have where bully says that it's basically mc's fault she gets bullied, cause she lets it happen and doesn't fight, meaning she deserves it. and mc agrees. mc... agrees.

what piss me off the most is she died willingly, putting herself in front of her bully, so sacrifying herself... and even that scene is presented like it's not even a big deal. she's literally selfless enough that she dies even tho she really wants to live, all to save a bully, and still calls herself selfish when she cries about not wanting to die... anyway this girl needs therapy

episode 3

one of the things her "friends" did every day was giving mc the chore of buying the full group lunch. in this ep mc tries to be more confident so she tells them off... so of course i expected them to be mad. cause they're bullies, right? always treated her badly. but they just smiled and complimented her on being more cheerful/honest. the girl who had been the most insulting toward mc even complimenting her on her new hairstyle (in a way that didn't even make sense). like that's not... how you write fake friends. or even true friends who are just harsh as a way to "encourage" you. so whichever the writers are trying to pull... does not work!

mc is moved to tears by this and it's presented like she just misunderstood her friends all this time but... if you're in a relationship of any kind where you feel used, insulted, belittled, and exhausted at the end of the day. you did, in fact. understood the situation for what it is. which is bad. even if your friends did change suddenly and treated you better, it wouldn't erase all the pain they put you through until then!

i wish the writers would just choose what they're going for cause it's been so mixed up and cowardly so far... like i'm reading different drafts for the same story instead of a finished product and it's very tiring to pay attention to and take it seriously when the narrative pulls you in so many different directions or expect you to feel in a specific way while watching a scene that gives you the exact opposite

they go to the zombie agency thing and the dudes introduce mc to someone who will give her a place to live (a dorm) so that's cool

they of course expect her to thank them for not being homeless anymore (even tho she lost her home... because of them)(as it was not explained but i guess she couldn't live there anymore since her life no longer even belong to her) and mc believe she doesn't even deserve their ""help""

dude B insult her for being too trusting then we're shown a flashback to when she was dying and how she owe them money since they saved her life (after, reminder, they were the one who set the scene of her death up) and she was still breathing and concious at the time so could hear them argue about the literal price of her life, meaning she can remember it, making this flashback useless since the viewer already knew this, and making mc "aww you're so nice to me" moment ridiculous. like girl you're their literal property please realize this

writing so bad and inconsistant it's exhausting to follow for real. i wanted to watch at least a bit more at least to know how zombies are made and work in this universe but i doubt it will make sense when revealed

dude A just told her that if she's useless to them and can't pay back her debt they'll wait 2 years for her to get her parent's inheritance and steal it from her. reminder: she never asked for them to save her and definitively never agreed to the debt. all she said was "i don't want to die" which does not lead to a contract in any way. they didn't get her signed agreement to their scam, so why is the show acting like it's valid? also the dorm chairman just said that if she's "useless" to their institute, they'll kick her out. so. if this minor does not work for you on top of working with her bullies to pay for a debt that should not be on her name, you're fine, as an adult, to force her into being homeless

well! another lesbophobic moment! this show love those, uh! this one is about another girl living in this dorm, who is depicted as being predatory. she kiss mc without consent then start to sexually assault her to add to this, the girl seems to have two personalities with a name for each, and it's the "bad one" that assaulted mc, so this show ableist also. lovely!

every time i think "this is so bad already it can't get worse" and yet! the dudes learn about the assault and the next day force mc to kiss that girl for reasons i don't even feel like explanating cause it's clear it was made up just to create this moment. at this point i will make a rewrite just out of bitterness, so that mc gets a better story cause what the hell is it?

of course mc gets assaulted by this girl again... after that the boys force her to take a part time job (to pay her debt, even tho, AGAIN, she owe them nothing)(i feel like i'm her lawyer)

so! this will be it for me. this show is really not fun on top of badly written. i do not understand a single thing people can find interesting about it! all i care about is the mc and she's terribly written too apparently there's also a trans character, later on, and i'm glad i won't meet them cause that will for sure be done offensively

for me to rewrite this... i'd need to deviate things starting from ep 1. i don't mind keeping the debt thing as a harsh turn of fate but i refuse to let her live with these people

#I rant about stuff #zombie loan #rewrite #(not really but will lead to it)

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maximons · 3 years

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All Is Lost

Summary: Zombies have taken over the world, humanity on the edge of extinction. All hope was lost. Despite that, Wanda couldn’t seem to let go of Y/n, who had fallen victim to the plague herself.

Word Count: 2,263

Genre: Angst

Requested?: No

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, cannibalism, suicide, mentions of blood. Spoilers for Ep. 5 of What If...?

A/N: I know, I know, I’m gonna get into the stuff I promised soon. But for now, the Zombies episode inspired me and this came out. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, go watch it. Its amazing and depressing. Also this is DARK guys, probably the darkest thing I’ve ever written, so...Happy Reading!

The Zombie apocalypse was always something everyone joked about, but never something that anyone could actually predict.

Everything happened so quickly, Wanda could barely keep up. It’s hard to believe that everything was so normal only two weeks ago. Now, she was locked away with Vision in an abandoned military base in New Jersey. Desperate to survive for as long as possible while Vision worked on a cure.

Some of his experiments had been a success, most notably Scott Lang who he was able to revert back from his zombified state. However, the man was now only a severed head.

Despite the success, Vision was less than optimistic. For one, Scott was one of the first infected. While the cure worked on him, the android theorized that the disease has mutated greatly since then, and it was likely impossible to cure everyone. And even if he could, the technology to do so is beyond human comprehension and therefore doesn’t exist.

Vision might have all but given up hope, but Wanda didn’t. She couldn’t. She refused to give up on you.

Wanda and you have been best friends for as long as Wanda had been an Avenger. You were already a member of the team and greeted her with an open mind and open arms, despite all she had done. You had fire powers, and while your powers weren’t identical to Wanda’s, you still offered some basic tips and tricks to keep such explosive powers at bay.

It wasn’t a surprise that she fell in love with you.

But her stupid fear had to get in the way, and when you came to confess your own feelings for her, she panicked and rejected you. You were so heartbroken, Wanda didn’t need to read your mind to know that.

And it kills her everyday knowing that that was the last interaction she had with you. The last one with you as yourself anyway.

All that remained now was the flesh hungry, blood thirsty monster that wore your, now rotting, skin.

This wasn’t you, she knows that. She looked into your mind and saw no trace of the woman you once were, the one she loved with all her heart. She couldn’t feel you, you were gone.

Despite this, Wanda couldn’t let you go. She couldn’t handle losing you entirely. She already lost almost everyone.

She managed to convince Vision to keep you in the base for testing. You were locked behind a large steel door, with only a window to see you through. But you were here, and that’s all Wanda cared about.

The cure wasn’t working for you. Your powers caused it to incinerate when it entered your system, proving it to be ineffective. Still, she refused to give up.

Vision thought it best to terminate you after the failed tests, but Wanda begged him not to. Knowing he couldn’t overpower her, and sensing his friend’s distress with anything that comes to you, he agreed. As long as Wanda had it under control.

She doubted he knew that she was luring innocent survivors into the base so you could feed on them, but she did what she had to do.

Wanda spent most of her days sitting outside of your cell. The first few days, you were ravenous. Banging on the walls and trying to burn them down, growling and screeching with the inhuman noise that took over your vocal chords, but you didn’t manage to break free. After a while, it seemed you have given up, and just sat in place. Only moving when Wanda opened the cell and let some of your ‘food’ in.

There were times where Wanda thought that maybe, just maybe, the cure was working more than they thought. You seemed to have recognized her, your facial expressions formed into ones that she had recognized and missed dearly. But that hope quickly died when she would peek into your head and still sense nothing.

“Hey, Y/n.” Wanda walked up to outside your cell and sat cross-legged like she did everyday. Your head rose, staring at her with your now glowing yellow eyes. “Still no progress on the cure, but don’t worry, I’m not giving up yet.” You offered no response, not that she expected one. “It’s hard. It’s only getting worse out there...” She sighed as she trailed off. She raised her hand to the glass, like she always did. “I’m going to figure it out...we’re gonna get you back to normal, and I’m going to tell you every day how much I love you. I miss you so much, but...we’re almost there. I can feel it...” Wanda’s voice started choking up, as tears ran down her face. “We deserve our happy ending.”

Her hand was still pressed against the glass as she finished her speech. She was about to lower it, but then something unexpected happened. You stared at her hand curiously, beginning to raise your own. Wanda watched, smile forming on her face as your arm made it’s way to the glass.

“Wanda! Please come here, we have a situation.” You had almost pressed your hand against Wanda’s, when Vision’s voice interrupted. Your attention turned to the direction it came from and you let out a growl, clearly angry at the interruption. Wanda sighed in disappointment, but she tried not to let it take over. You still showed massive improvement, something worth reporting back to Vision. “It’s okay.” She soothed you. “I’m going to go see what he wants then I’ll be right back, okay? I know you’re hungry, I’ll get you some food too.” You didn’t offer a response as she walked off.

“Vis! I have to tell you-” Wanda began as she walked into the main room, but cut herself off at the new faces. She didn’t recognize the bald woman with the spear or the wimpy looking man in a workers uniform, but she was familiar with Peter. What surprised her most though, was Bruce Banner. A man she hasn’t seen in over three years. “What is going on?”

“I ran into them outside the premises. Apparently word has gotten out about the cure.” Vision answered before turning his attention back to the guests. “As I told you, I am afraid we cannot help you. The cure seems to be a moot point.”

“Well, what about-” Peter began, but he was interrupted by a new voice.

“For something you have no hope for, you sure don’t have a problem bringing in new test subjects.” Wanda recognized Bucky Barnes’ voice. She turned around, and her eyes widened as she saw King T’challa on his arm, struggling to stand on his one remaining leg.

Shit.

“My king! We thought you dead.” The bald woman exclaimed in relief and surprise.

“Your highness. I was not aware you were in the base.” Vision said, confused on how that got by him. It didn’t take him long to figure out why. “Wanda...”

“I’m sorry.” Wanda whispered, knowing she was caught. “The cure wasn’t working on Y/n, and in order to keep her at bay, I had to feed her.”

“So you fed her our King?” A spear was raised to her throat, threateningly.

“It was nothing personal, I promise. I have her under control and the cure is starting to work, I know it. We just need a little more time!”

“Why not just kill her? You lured innocent people to their deaths just for her when there a couple million more Zombies out there that you could use for testing. Ones that have a chance of being cured.” The whole room went quiet after Bucky said that.

“Uh oh. Shouldn’t have said that.” Wanda heard Scott say, but she was too busy glaring at Bucky. Her eyes started to go red, but before she could do anything, she noticed the spear held to her throat begin to glow red and melt. The woman dropped the spear as it began to burn her hands.

“Did it just suddenly get like, super hot?” Peter asked as he began to fan himself.

“Oh no...” Wanda trailed off. She looked up to notice the steal walls that led to your cell begin to melt. “You’ve done it now...she hasn’t eaten in days.” Before anyone could respond, the steel doors melted completely. The man in the uniform was unfortunate enough to be standing in front of it, as a strong burst of flame shot out and incinerated him on the spot. Only a second later, you flew out the door, covered in flames as you hovered above everyone.

Wanda watched in horror as you began to fight everyone. They weren’t holding up very well, and that’s when Wanda finally realized what she had done. This wasn’t you, and if you were still here, you would hate to see your body be used to attack and kill others.

“Vision! Get us out of here!” She heard Bruce yell, and Vision shot a blast towards the wall, blowing it up and letting everyone out. Wanda turned her focus back to you, you watched them starting to escape and you began to fly after them, but a red mist surrounded you before you could. You turned your head, starting to growl, but stopped when you saw it was Wanda.

“Y/n. Stop...” You tilted your head, still struggling to move as Wanda came closer. She took a chance and reached up, gently placing a hand on your face. “I am so sorry...you never deserved this...” Your face softened at the touch, beginning to show the signs of emotion that Wanda desperately held onto. However, it was clear now that it was too late.

You snapped out of it, as you managed to break free from Wanda’s hold. You opened your mouth wide, intent on biting and feeding on her, but something stopped you. You hesitated, and Wanda noticed. You settled for pushing her aside to the ground as you reignited yourself and flew out of the base.

Wanda picked herself up after a moment, intent on stopping you. She ran past Okoye’s body, charred and eaten, but she was sure there was little time until she turned. She ran faster to where you were, now facing off against Bucky. She sprinted further, about to take off and fly when she paused.

Vision was face down on the ground. She kneeled next to him, glowing red hand turning over his body, afraid of what she’ll see. Once he was turned, Wanda gasped at the sight. The mind stone was torn out of his head.

“Oh no...no, no, no...” She held his body, tears slowly building as she mourned the loss of her best friend. She had officially lost everything. “I am so sorry Vis...I’m going to make this right, I promise.”

She heard Bucky scream. She looked over to see you start to feed on him. She saw Bruce, Peter, Scott and T’challa in the distance, making their way to the jet. They were your next target.

No. Wanda wasn’t going to let that happen. It ends now.

She used her powers to propel herself forward, landing directly in your path. You growled at her yet again as she used her powers to hold you. “Y/n...please, stop.” You struggled to get out of the hold, but Wanda held on. “This isn’t you...you wouldn’t want this...I love you more than anything, and I’m so sorry...I hope one day, you’ll forgive me.”

Wanda used her powers to grab the gun laying by Bucky’s side. She held in to your head, ready to pull the trigger...but she couldn’t. She let out a scream of frustration and dropped her hold on both you and the gun. The gun fell to the ground, but you haven’t moved.

“I can’t do it...I...I’m not strong enough...” Wanda began crying, shutting her eyes and waited for you to finish her off. She failed everyone, no one deserved death more than her. She opened her eyes when nothing came. You stood, staring at her with a tilt of your head. The yellow of your eyes dimming as you stared.

“W....Wan...” You struggled to let out, but it was enough for Wanda to hear. She cried even harder. She was right, you were almost there...but it was too late now.

You took in your surroundings as best you could, you didn’t have a lot of awareness, but you knew enough to piece everything together. You saw the influx of zombies starting to enter to base. Everyone needed to get away. You turned back to Wanda, and you knew what you had to do. You felt the little control you had start to slip away.

You bent down and picked up the discarded gun. You shakily pointed it to your temple, the control slipping away faster and faster. “Love....you....I...sorry...” You managed to croak out. Before you could lose control completely, you pulled the trigger.

Wanda watched in horror as you shot yourself in the head. Pieces of your brain landing on her, your blood drenching her. She looked down to see your body, half your face still together, but you were gone. Truly gone.

She knelt down sobbing, as she held your body. After a moment she looked up to see the Hulk appear as the zombies began to overwhelm the base. She saw the jet take off, and she gave a weak smile. They got away. Wanda’s job was done. This is where her story ends. All was lost for her.

So when the zombies finally reached her, she didn’t fight back. Accepting her death with open arms.

Epilogue

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you

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lockley-spktr · 3 years

Text

Start With One

Summary: Bucky’s conversation with Sam makes him think of someone who he owes an apology to.

Word count: 2,715

Warnings: None that I know of. There is some angst if you squint, but this is mostly fluff with the start of friends to lovers.

Author’s note: This is my first time writing for Bucky. I had this idea after I watched TFATWS EP 5 last Friday. It’s been a work in progress since then. Feedback is appreciated!

Every moment that passed by standing in front of your door was agony for Bucky.

He wasn't sure how’d you react to seeing him after all this time, especially since he had left abruptly without a goodbye or an explanation of where he was going.

Part of him felt like he was overreacting the two of you weren't dating, but you had been friends for nearly a year.

She's your only friend, your best friend. He thought.

Bucky raised his hand to knock on your door one last time, but before he could you opened the door.

When you heard the sound of knocking on your door you ignored it at first, too engrossed in an episode of your TV show. You just figured whoever it was would take the hint and go away, but they didn't. They knocked again, and again, and you realized you couldn't ignore them anymore.

The last person you expected to see standing in front of you when you swung the door open was Bucky Barnes considering he had been MIA for the past week.

You were angry, he had you worried sick, but when you saw him in front of you alive and well, physically speaking at least, all of those negative feelings momentarily faded away.

Bucky hadn't expected you to embrace him, you could tell by the way he tensed up when you first wrapped your arms around him, but after a moment he relaxed and hugged you back.

Honestly, you hadn't expected to hug him or for him to hug you back, but you felt a sense of relief knowing he was safe in your arms and that you were safe in his.

When you pull apart Bucky notices your expression change, he should've figured you wouldn't let him off the hook that easy.

“Can I come in?” Bucky asks.

You nod, making your way to the couch, Bucky takes the hint and follows you.

Bucky drops his backpack next to your couch, taking his gloves off as he sits down. You sit down on the opposite end of the couch, keeping a distance between the two of you.

Normally the two of you would practically sit on top of each other, sharing a blanket while you watched a movie or just talked.

This was different though. This talk wasn't going to be like all the others.

“It was wrong of me to leave without saying goodbye. I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry.”

“You’re right, you shouldn't have done that, but you're going to have to do a lot better than one I'm sorry.”

“Doll, I–”

“No, you don't get to do that. You don't get to charm your way out of this one.”

Bucky shakes his head, “I’m not trying to charm my way out of anything.“

“Then what are you trying to do?”

“Apologize.”

You scoff, “I told you. You're going to have to do better than one I'm sorry, that won’t fix this.”

“What can I do to fix this?”

Sighing you run your hand through your hair. You could tell that this was hard for him, you knew how guarded he was, but you thought your relationship was different, Bucky told you everything even the hard stuff.

You knew about his time as The Winter Soldier and you didn't judge him for it, that wasn't him, you knew that.

You trusted Bucky and you thought he trusted you, that's why him disappearing and ignoring your calls hurt so much.

“You can start by explaining a few things to me.”

“Alright, that's fair. I do owe you a few explanations.”

“Yeah, you do.”

Bucky sighs, playing with his hands, “Where do you want me to start?”

You soften a little bit, “Wherever you want to.”

Bucky starts by telling you who he was with and where he was. He spares you the details of exactly what happened. He had a feeling a lot of it would upset you. And the last thing he wanted to do was further upset you.

There were things he couldn't shake that he wanted to tell you about like Zemo practically selling him off; treating him like he wasn't a person, and Ayo removing his arm during their fight, but now wasn't the time for all of that. Bucky wasn't even sure if he was ready to talk about how any of that made him feel. When he was ready, he'd tell you. After all, he had trusted you with everything else so far.

You didn’t have any over-the-top reactions to anything he told you. You knew he could tell you were worried and upset, but you couldn't help it. You care about him. You really care about him.

You don't say much when he finishes explaining what happened, you just move a little bit closer to him and Bucky feels a wave of relief wash over him. You're still maintaining your distance. He knows he's not out of the woods yet.

“Why didn't you tell me where you were going? Why didn't you say goodbye?” You ask, your voice sounds so small that it makes Bucky’s heart hurt.

“I was scared. I didn't know what to tell you, I wanted to protect you.”

You can tell he's telling the truth. It's an innocent enough answer, but it makes your blood boil.

“The truth, you always tell me the truth,” you run your hands through your hair, “I was scared too. I went to go check on you after I saw John on the news with the shield, but you weren't there, then I called you a dozen times, and instead of answering you sent me to voicemail. I care about you. I’ve been worried sick about you for a whole week. By not telling me things and not saying goodbye to me you just made things worse.”

“I’m sorry, I really am,” he pauses, “I’m not used to people caring about me.”

You move closer to him, “Bucky, I've cared about you since the moment I met you,” taking both his hands in yours you squeeze them, “And I will always care about you.”

Bucky smiles, it's a small one, but it's a genuine one. “I care about you too.” He looks down at your hands in his, “Does this mean we’re okay?”

You nod, “We’re okay, but if you ever disappear on me like that again we won't be, understood?”

Bucky nods, “Understood.”

You cuddle up against him, “I missed you.”

Bucky relaxes feeling you against him, he moves his hand up and down your arm, “I missed you too.”

“Why'd you bring your backpack with you?”

“You noticed that, huh?”

You chuckle, “Kind of hard not to.”

“I came straight here from the airport. I was with Sam, his sister, and her kids in Louisiana.”

You look up at him, “Oh, what were you doing there?”

“I went to deliver something from the Wakandans. I ended up staying there for a bit to help out with boat repairs.”

“So you and Sam are friends now?”

“We’re co-workers.”

“You're definitely friends, but okay Bucky, whatever you say.”

That makes Bucky laugh. Yeah, they were friends now, but he wasn't going to admit that to you or Sam for that matter.

“Why'd you come straight here from the airport?”

“Sam and I had a talk. He said something that wasn't about you, but it got me thinking about you. And I told you, I missed you. I wanted to see you.”

“What did Sam say?”

“We were talking about my list amends, he told me I was avenging rather than amending–”

You cut him off, “He's right about that.”

“Yes, Doll, I'm aware of that now.”

“As long as you're aware, keep going.”

“He told me I have to be of service to the people I'm trying to make amends with. I need to make them feel better and bring them closure.”

“He's also right about that, but how did that get you thinking about me? You didn't wrong me or anyone I know as the Winter Soldier.”

“I know that, but I owed you an apology and clarity about where I ran off to without saying goodbye,” he pauses looking down at you, “And to be fair you were on my mind the whole time I was gone. You're the most important person in my life, you know that, right?”

You nod, “Now I do. And I appreciate your apology. I know that coming here to have an uncomfortable conversation wasn't easy for you. You've come a long way and I'm proud of you.”

Bucky shakes his head, “I haven't come that far.”

You sit up and face him, “Don't do that.”

“Don't do what?”

“Put yourself down like that. You have come a long way. You should give yourself credit for that.”

“Sometimes it doesn't feel like it.”

“Hey, I know that sometimes your thoughts aren't your friends and your brain feels like your own worst enemy, trust me, I do, but those negative thoughts are lying to you,” you hold his hands, “You're a good man Bucky, you deserve to be happy, have moments of calm, and have a good life.”

“Doll, I've done terrible things.”

“That wasn't you, you know that. You didn't have a choice, you weren't in control.”

“But I remember all of them, I have memories of that time of my life.”

“So? That doesn't mean that was you. Bucky, what you experienced was traumatizing. You aren't just going to forget that time of your life even though you weren't the one in control,” pausing you rub your thumbs over his knuckles, “Let me ask you this, do you want to do any of what he did back then now?”

Bucky shakes his head, “No of course not.”

“You wouldn't do any of that now when you have control of your mind, so that means that isn't who you are. You aren't the Winter Soldier, you're James Bucky Barnes.”

“I don't know who James Bucky Barnes is anymore.”

“Who do you want him to be?”

“What?”

“You’re free to be whoever you want to be now, James Bucky Barnes gets to be whoever you want him to be. You don't have to answer my question out loud, just answer it for yourself, you're the only person who needs to know the answer.”

“Sam told me that I have to stop looking at other people to tell me who I am.”

You smile, “I gotta meet this Sam guy, he seems like he's pretty smart.”

Bucky laughs at that and rolls his eyes.

“He's right though. If you keep looking at others to tell you who you are you won't ever truly know who you are.”

Bucky sighs, “I know, Doll, I know.”

“Why don't you try going on some more dates? Put yourself out there, Ya know? It might be a good way to meet new people and learn more about yourself in the process.”

It pained you to say that, but if anybody deserved to be with somebody it was Bucky. Although you couldn't deny that you'd like to be that somebody. The thought of losing him hurt too much, you decided that his friendship was enough, you just wanted to keep him in your life.

Bucky groans, “You know I hate those dating apps.”

You roll your eyes letting out a soft chuckle, “I never said you had to use a dating app. You could just go out and meet someone in public, Ya know like you used to do back in the day?”

“You did not just “back in the day” me.”

“Oh yes, I did.”

“That's a low blow.”

“Sorry old man, I can't resist sometimes,” you nudge his leg with yours, “Seriously, anyone would be lucky to go on a date with you, I meant what I said earlier, you're a good man.”

Bucky shifts in his spot so he's fully facing you, he holds your hands and brushes his thumb over your knuckles, just like you did for him moments ago.

You can tell he wants to say something, he's got that look on his face. You noticed he had shifted in his spot, he had fully opened up to you physically, but still, he wasn't saying anything.

“What is it, Bucky?”

“Why don't we go on a date?”

Looking at him your eyes go wide, you hadn't been expecting him to say that, “What?”

Your voice was soft, Bucky could tell his question surprised you. In all fairness, it had surprised him too. There had been a few times where he almost asked you out, but he never did. He was always too scared to go through with it.

He didn't want to ruin your friendship, he didn't want to lose you. So Bucky never said anything at all, he always told himself that his friendship with you was enough and it was, but he wanted more.

The only person Bucky wanted to go on a date with was you.

“Y/N, I like you, I want to take you out on a date.”

The smile on your face reaches your eyes. Bucky swears his heart is about to burst.

“Really? You like me?” You ask in disbelief and Bucky can't help the laugh he lets out at that as he nods, “Yes, really, I like you.”

Now you're laughing, full of joy as you wrap your arms around him, the position is awkward since the two of you are still seated on the couch, but neither you nor Bucky care.

“I take it that the feeling is mutual?” Bucky asks, his voice is playful, but you can hear the serious tone that's underlying.

You pull away from him, that smile still on your face, “Yes Bucky, it is.”

“So you're going to let me take you out on that date?”

“Of course.”

“Where do you want to go?” He asks.

“That's up to you to decide.” You answer snuggling up to his side again, Bucky wraps his arm around you and you feel him relax.

“Why do you want me to decide?” He asks.

“Because you can.“

It's a simple answer, but it holds so much weight. Both of you know that.

The two of you sit in comfortable silence for a while after that. Bucky’s moving his hand up and down your arm. His hand is warm and his touch is soft.

After a while Bucky breaks the silence, clearing his throat as he looks at his watch, “Doll, it's late. I should go.”

You look up at him, “You don't have to go. You can stay if you want to.”

Bucky looks down at you, “Yeah?”

You nod, “Yeah. We can sleep in my bed or we can sleep on the couch, it might be a little bit more firm than my mattress.”

“I don't think we’ll fit comfortably on the couch. I don't want you to be uncomfortable because of me.”

“Bucky, you could never make me uncomfortable. And the couch pulls out into a bed. The mattress isn't all that great, but it's certainly better than the floor. Although if you wanted me to I would sleep on the floor with you.”

“I know you would but the couch is fine, I promise.”

You get up and extend your hand to him, “Come on, help me set up.”

Bucky doesn't say anything, he just takes your hand with a smile on his face getting up off the couch.

The two of you have the pull-out bed set up in no time. You go into your room to get pillows, while Bucky makes himself comfortable on the bed.

A few minutes go by before you make your way back into the living room, putting the pillows on the bed you look down at Bucky, “Do you need anything before I lay down?”

Bucky shakes his head, “Just need you.”

You laugh shaking your head. There it is, that charm.

Once you're under the covers you look up at him, “Hold me, please?”

“‘Course.”

Bucky rests his chin on your head and wraps his arms around you.

“You’re warm,” you mumble into his chest causing him to chuckle softly, “I’m glad you're here, Bucky.”

“I’m glad I’m here too, Doll.”

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes one shot #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier #tfatws spoilers #just tagging that to be safe #i promise this is fluffy even though it's starts off not so fluffy #please let me know what you think of this

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shijiujun · 3 years

Text

Lonely Dream | 孤梦

Summary: And when all is done and dusted, sometimes Lao Wen still gets those headaches of his, and the spots where Ah Xu had the nails driven in stil throb in pain on a cold, rainy day.

Some slice of life and domesticity for WenZhou as they enjoy more years than they expected to have initially, together.

Notes: OKAY so there are too many theories going out there for special ep ending, and nah not going there! So the concept of this is SOMEHOW Zhou Zishu saves Wen Kexing at the end of Ep 36, and they need to head into icy mountain cave for a WHILE but not forever. They head back down to Four Seasons Manor once Wen Kexing recovers.

Basically SHL ver. WenZhou, but with TYK ending (where WenZhou fight in the icy mountains for a bit after Wu Xi cures him and then head back down into the world of the living). No immortal lifespan, but hey, they get the rest of their normal lives together! So yeah, they can still eat normally, no snow and ice diet please.

Word Count: 4,500+

✨✨ Link on AO3 ✨✨

******

They visit Ah Xiang and Cao Weining’s graves once Wen Kexing’s year-long recovery in the frigid cold of the mountains is complete.

Zhou Zishu says that it is for Lao Wen’s recuperation, but he suspects Wen Kexing, the heartless bastard, knows that he has taken this year too, to finally stop hurting, to stop going through the bone-deep, heart-wrenching terror at the prospect of losing him.

Opening his eyes in the armoury a year ago, his five senses were returned to him, but at what price? Feeling Lao Wen’s cold hands against his, his stark, blinding white hair a horrifying contrast against his beautiful face, and the man almost leaving him.

Leaving him, once again.

Horror turned into anger, the words stuck in his throat, his chest so tight and heart slamming against the bones caging it, Zhou Zishu had regained all that he had lost-

-and then lost the most important thing, person, to him.

Someone he values above his own life, who had lied to him, who had so stupidly, stupidly gave himself up for him.

Zhou Zishu does not want to remember how he survived that day, how he spent minutes, hours, and days after, making sure Lao Wen continued to hang on to his very last breath.

In the past year, the cold he was constantly plagued with had nothing to do with the wintry landscape.

He knows he is pushing it a little — his eyes have rarely left Wen Kexing since they were moved to the mountains at Wu Xi and Senior Ye’s suggestions. Initially, Lao Wen slept and Zhou Zishu had no idea if he would ever wake up.

Before he would even open his eyes, the panic typically set in just like that, gripping him by the throat the moment he woke. Zhou Zishu would have to reach out for Lao Wen across him on the bed, the fear receding only when he heard and felt Lao Wen’s breaths under his fingertips.

For a long time, Zhou Zishu thought that he would be with Lao Wen in this state for the rest of his life. It was not all bad — as long as Lao Wen was alive, who cared if he spent the rest of his years guarding a sleeping Wen Kexing?

Who’s the lazy one now, Lao Wen, he thought plenty of times in the months after, his hands caressing at Wen Kexing’s cheek bones and pale face, which was of the same colour as his white hair.

Fortunately, fortunately… he managed to keep the person he wanted in the end.

They have been so focused on recuperating, stuck in the mountains and in that isolated environment, it was easy to distance themselves from everything that had and was happening outside.

Even though Wen Kexing did not mention a thing, Zhou Zishu knows that he spends some nights awake, looking out into a sky full of stars, quiet and pensive. He knows it, because he does the same.

For Jiu Xiao, for Han Ying, for Qing Luan.

For a young woman who called him Zishu-ge and Sickly Ghost, who threatened to fight him if he left Wen Kexing all alone. A beautiful young woman who should have gotten her happy ending on that tragic afternoon.

For a young man, who had a smile that could light up even the darkest of corners in a place like the Ghost Valley, who would have protected his to-be wife with everything he had.

The pain and grief that comes with losing Ah Xiang and Cao Weining is no easier to bear a year on.

===

Wen Kexing recalls the way she looked that day, all beautiful in her green and red bridal robes, finally able to live a life basking under the sunshine without anything holding her back. That was what he always wanted for her.

What a huge mistake that wedding was.

His whole life, aside from Ah Xu, has been a cycle of repeated mistakes, over and over again. If he had just put his foot down and insisted on not letting Mo Huaiyi in, if he had not just walked away in anger and instead stayed there, they would have stopped Xiao Cao’s death, and Ah Xiang’s after.

Why had he walked off? How did beautiful Ah Xiang, an Ah Xiang he was ready to give away, end up taking her last breath in his arms?

A sting on his right ear pulls him violently out of his depressed reverie, and he yells, “Ow- Ow, ow, ow, Ah Xu!”

“Don’t think that I don’t know what you’re thinking,” Zhou Zishu says, pulling Wen Kexing’s face close to him by the ear. “There is no point dwelling in the past. Life and death… when the time comes, no one can escape from it.”

Wen Kexing’s eyes sober a little, bitterness flashing across his face. Remnants of his hatred and resentment from more than a year ago, before he met Ah Xu.

“If I had just kept her with me-“

“We all make our choices,” Zhou Zishu says, his voice gentling as he lets Wen Kexing go, but the man does not move away.

“If she had to choose again, she would probably have chosen the same.”

In the cold, their hands find their way to each other, clasping warmly under their thick sleeves, the rims lined with fur.

They stare at the graves for a little longer. And while Wen Kexing has never believed in some higher power up there or the heavens-

-this time, with every ounce of his being, he prays and wishes that Ah Xiang and that pig will find their ways back to each other in the next life, no matter what.

Zhou Zishu’s hand squeezes around his, and Wen Kexing turns to see his Ah Xu’s warm smile and gaze.

“Shall we go home?”

Home. The place where they can live out the rest of their natural lives together.

“Let’s go home,” Wen Kexing agrees.

===

“Ah Xu, that is not the way you-“

Hearing Wen Kexing nag for the thousandth time, Zhou Zishu has finally had enough. Slamming the broad vegetable knife onto the wooden chopping board loudly, he turns and looks at the man next to him.

“I’m not the one who begged me to do this,” Zhou Zishu says, turning to walk away, “You make dinner. I told you it was a waste of time-“

Before he can finish his sentence, warmth engulfs his back, and something sharp snuggles into his shoulder bone. A familiar scent — jasmine, from the incense that Wen Kexing likes to use — wraps around him, hands trapping him in between the counter and the limpet attached to him.

Wen Kexing’s palms close over his hands, then guides them to pick up the knife again. Zhou Zishu stiffens, but does not move away. He lets Wen Kexing curl his own fingers properly over the cabbage, and chop at it neatly, over and over.

They have not yet spoken about this between them, despite laying in the same bed right next to each other night after night. The cave was hardly a luxurious abode and to save effort and space, Zhou Zishu fell asleep next to a comatose Wen Kexing for several months, wanting to ascertain that he was alive and breathing at any given moment.

After Wen Kexing woke, Zhou Zishu continued to sleep next to him, and Lao Wen never once brought it up in conversation.

Coming back to Four Seasons Manor, Wen Kexing naturally turned up in his room instead of the one he was staying at before, already asleep when Zhou Zishu returned to turn in.

This man is his soulmate, the person he would give everything up for no matter what it was. His lost shidi, but even before that, this man was someone who was willing to do everything he could for him. Who cared for him like no one else ever would again.

Beyond that? Zhou Zishu knows of his feelings, and is rather certain of Wen Kexing’s. He supposes that after pledging to save each other’s lives at the expense of their own repeatedly, some things just do not have to be articulated.

Zhou Zishu leans into the hold, relaxing entirely.

At this, it is Wen Kexing’s turn to be stunned at the reciprocation where he was expecting none before, but the man recovers quickly. He snuggles in even closer, the side of his face pressed right up against Zhou Zishu’s.

His Ah Xu remains still, as if unbothered, and Wen Kexing decides to try his luck.

“Ah Xu,” he angles his head slightly, his mouth brushing lightly over Zhou Zishu’s cheek as he murmurs straight into his ear.

Ah, there it is. Zhou Zishu freezes against him, now making to move his ear out of Wen Kexing’s reach.

“What?”

Wen Kexing smiles, amused and so, so fond.

His voice still low and sultry, he continues, “I think you’re right, you should let me cook instead. You’re murdering the cabbage.”

Zhou Zishu pauses for a good two seconds before turning to glare at Wen Kexing. Wen Kexing recognizes that look, and the warmth on Zhou Zishu’s back vanishes instantly just as he starts waving the knife at him.

“Wen Kexing, don’t you think you’re being ridiculous and childish-“

Laughter fills the kitchen, a sound that is incredibly melodious, immediately soothing all the uneasiness Zhou Zishu feels.

Outside, all twenty disciples try not to peek and look at their shifu and shishu being strange again. One of the younger ones, Xiao Man, cannot help but angle his head in the direction of the kitchen, and then says, “Da-shixiong, shifu is going after shishu with a knife! Is he going to be okay?”

Zhang Chengling sighs inwardly, then smiles and pats the boy on the head.

“That’s shifu’s way of showing how much he cares about shishu.”

Back in the kitchen, having heard that tiny quip from their youngest disciple, Wen Kexing finally stops in his tracks, turning around mid-escape to grab Zhou Zishu around the waist with a hand, and the other going to the hand that is holding onto the knife and stopping his Ah Xu from possibly murdering him.

He sets the knife aside, but his other hand does not move.

“What are you doing,” grumbles Zhou Zishu, looking away, his expression a little stern, as if telling Wen Kexing not to be such a nuisance.

This close, however, Wen Kexing can certainly see the light flush on Ah Xu’s cheekbones.

If Wen Kexing had to rank all the beautiful bones that Ah Xu has, it would probably be scapulas first, followed by his cheekbones.

Wen Kexing’s eyes dip a little lower.

He thinks collarbones may rank third.

“Ah Xu.”

“What?” sighs Zhou Zishu. “Let me go, the disciples need to finish the last set of practice-“

He is cut off when Wen Kexing swoops downwards, and catches his lips in his.

Zhou Zishu’s eyes go wide, but before he can do anything like move away and out of Wen Kexing’s firm hold, the man circles his waist with both arms, effectively trapping him and bringing him closer.

Wen Kexing’s body temperature tends to run on the colder side these days, a side effect of him having been brought back from the brink of death.

Right now, however, Zhou Zishu can feel nothing else but the scalding heat. His hands move up, intending to push Wen Kexing away, but they end up clutching tight around the man’s broad shoulders.

He does not stop the kiss, letting Wen Kexing’s lips roam as they like.

Outside, an unfortunate Chengling who sees this finds his eyes going wide.

“Erm,” he clears his throat quite loudly, gaining all the disciples’ attention. “Let’s head outside to finish our practice.”

He ushers everyone out, while wondering how the hell he hadn’t seen this coming.

Everything makes so much sense now.

===

Four Seasons Manor grows, and Zhang Chengling along with Bi Xingming end up taking over some classes and teaching of their own.

Wen Kexing does not want to admit it, but it seems that when he asked Ah Xu if he was a servant here, the man actually meant it. His little Chengling, who is not so little anymore, still comes to him to ask for tips or begs him to give some pointers to the other disciples, but most of the time, Wen Kexing is cooking.

He makes breakfast, is involved in lunch, and definitely ends up cooking a feast every dinner. Thankfully, Bi Xingming is unlike his da-shixiong and shifu as he actually has some kitchen sense, but Wen Kexing has truly been demoted to servant in this manor.

A servant that ends up in his master’s bed every night, Wen Kexing thinks then, and feels better about it immediately.

“Shishu, let me help you bring these out,” Bi Xingming says, stepping into the kitchen just as he’s done with the last dish.

“Mnn,” Wen Kexing hums in assent without looking up from his soup, tasting it one last time.

At the very least, these days, Zhou Zishu is able to actually, actually taste the food he lovingly cooks.

“Perfect,” he nods. “Is your shifu not up yet? It’s almost lunch time.”

“Ah…” Bi Xingming blinks, “You said not to disturb him until he wakes up, and he hasn’t left the room since morning.”

Wen Kexing frowns slightly. Sure, he worked Ah Xu over thoroughly last night, but not to the extent that he would need to sleep in for this long. Worry niggling at him, he gets Bi Xingming to start lunch with the other disciples first without waiting for them, and heads in the direction of their room.

The last time Zhou Zishu slept in so late, it was the night he confessed his past to Wen Kexing, of how he caused the deaths of everyone in Four Seasons Manor. He was deathly ill then and emotionally wrung out — things that Wen Kexing loathes to see on Zhou Zishu.

“Ah Xu?” Wen Kexing calls, sliding the door open gently.

The lump under the covers is the same as when he left it this morning. Wen Kexing takes quick strides and goes over, sitting down on the bed next to Ah Xu.

“Ah Xu?” he calls again, his voice soft as he reaches out for Zhou Zishu’s face.

His lips are pale, eyebrows furrowed and perspiring at the forehead.

“Ah Xu, are you ill? What’s wrong?”

Zhou Zishu’s skin is of normal temperature, much to Wen Kexing’s relief. His brain runs through a a million scenarios, none of them good and just as he’s about to yell for Chengling, something clicks in his head.

He does yell for their Chengling in the end, but for a hot bath instead with a pack of herbs and medicine from the stash Wu Xi gave them before he headed back home with Jing Beiyuan.

“Is shifu okay?” he asks, worried.

“He will be,” Wen Kexing says, lifting Zhou Zishu out from under the covers and heading for the bath. “Don’t worry, I’ll watch him. You continue training with the other disciples, otherwise when Ah Xu wakes up he’s going to scold all of you again.”

As Zhou Zishu soaks in the steaming medicinal bath, Wen Kexing sits right next to him, pillowing his head on his arms, which are sitting on the rim of the wooden tub and stares at him.

A few years have passed since the days when Wen Kexing despaired at Zhou Zishu dying in a short few years and the peace they have now makes it easy to not think about the past. He forgets sometimes that despite being healed, despite him giving his life force to Ah Xu, the man’s body has been to hell and back with the nails.

And forcing them out of his body forcefully while he mistakenly believed that Wen Kexing was dead, wanting to take revenge for him-

For the rest of their time together, Wen Kexing knows he will forever be guilt-ridden at this. If only he had just told Ah Xu, if only he didn’t make another stupid decision, there would have been no need for the armoury. No need for self-sacrificial plays, no need for lost time.

That Zhou Zishu would love him still and be with him, that is nothing short of a miracle.

On days like these, when the weather turns just the slightest bit wet and cold, his body starts to hurt, especially the points where he kept the nails in. All seven of them, the stupid man.

Wen Kexing inches forward and presses a kiss to the man’s temple.

For this life and every life after this one, Wen Kexing swears he will always be good to Zhou Zishu.

===

He loves and hates Wen Kexing’s hair, even after several years have passed. They are nearing the ten-year mark since leaving the mountains, and Zhou Zishu has slept next to this man every single day after, but whenever Wen Kexing shows up, Zhou Zishu has to admit that his breath is always taken away.

Wen Kexing looks ethereally gorgeous with those white strands, his features standing out even more clearly, not that Zhou Zishu would ever tell him that lest it goes to his head. However, it is a reminder that his silly, stupid shidi and now husband would dare to sacrifice his own life for his without telling him.

It is a constant reminder that he lost him, even if momentarily.

“Ah Xu, why are you are staring at me like that? You’re going to make me shy. Did you miss me? I was only gone for two days,” Wen Kexing says unabashedly during dinner.

At once, coughs and chokes go around the table, and the clanking of dropped chopsticks on the table echo through the dining hall.

Zhou Zishu takes a deep breath to compose himself and resists the urge to fight with the man over dinner. It would be a waste of food, not to mention a futile argument seeing that Wen Kexing has not changed at all since the first time they met. As long as he does not break out into poetry-

“Ah Xu, I missed you too. It is so fortunate that your heart is akin to mine-“

At that, everyone immediately stands from the table and excuses themselves, stumbling over one another as they parrot that they are full and do not want to have anymore.

It is an open secret that they are together — not because they are hiding it, but simply because they find no need to verbalize what they are to others — and if it was another couple that was stuck in this situation, he would possibly find it amusing, but Wen Kexing is incorrigible and has been for years.

Zhou Zishu finds that while he loves the man and is utterly devoted to him, is willing to die for him, at times like these maybe they should have both just stayed dead.

“Wen Kexing, have you had enough?”

He reaches out, intending to pinch at Wen Kexing as a lesson, but the man catches his hand within his deft fingers and brings it upwards so his hand is cupping one side of his face. Wen Kexing turns his head a little to press his lips to the open palm, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

“I missed you,” Wen Kexing repeats. “It’s strange how it has only been two days, but I miss you like I’ve never missed anything else before.”

The impending reprimand dies on his lips.

Fine, just this once.

Zhou Zishu sighs and pinches at Wen Kexing’s cheek instead.

“Ow, ow! Ah Xu, Ah Xu, this face is a work of the heavens, how can you trample on it like this?!”

Zhou Zishu’s eyes are once again drawn to Wen Kexing’s white locks, and he unconsciously reaches out.

As if knowing what Zhou Zishu is thinking about, Wen Kexing grabs for the hand again, interlacing their fingers together.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before I faked my death, and then not telling you at the end, before I….” Wen Kexing says, swallowing with difficulty. “Ah Xu, if I could change it, I would. But at the end, if I was given the same choice, I would have chosen the same.”

It hurts to think about that morning, seeing Wen Kexing’s hair all white and almost lifeless, his hands dropping from his.

“I know,” Zhou Zishu breathes, hiding his face in Wen Kexing’s shoulder. “I know.”

===

Zhou Zishu hears of the supposed ambush on Four Seasons Manor while he has half a day’s journey left before he gets home.

The unrest in jianghu truly never ends; their fight with the Scorpions, with Tian Chuang, with Prince Jin and Zhao Jing was rewarded with peace for a few years, but people never say contented for long. Old sects are wiped out and new ones emerge. Most of them know not to mess with Four Seasons Manor as his and Wen Kexing’s reputations indeed precede themselves, but it is unavoidable, perhaps, for some newer and ambitious ones to mistakenly think they can take both of them on.

Well, they must have made sure Zhou Zishu was not in the manor before striking, as if Wen Kexing could not take all of them on himself.

He arrives in the nick of time in the heat of battle, although a quick glance shows that Four Seasons Manor is still holding up pretty well, with Zhang Chengling and Bi Xingming leading the rest of the disciples.

And there he is, Wen Kexing, all regal in his red embroidered robes, and his white hair pinned up neatly. Every movement from his sharp and deadly fan strikes true. His eyebrows are furrowed slightly, his eyes revealing a thirst for blood that Zhou Zishu hasn’t seen in a while.

He shivers at the want that hits him, even though it is not the time and place for it.

Zhou Zishu lands opportunely behind Wen Kexing and parries a blow that was coming straight for Wen Kexing back.

The both of them exchange a glance, and wordlessly, delve right back into the fight.

When the dust settles a few hours later, Zhou Zishu makes sure injured disciples are looked at while others clean up the mess. His attention finally freed up so he can focus solely on Wen Kexing, Zhou Zishu turns, only to see his husband a distance away from him, supporting himself against a wall.

He recognizes the signs of Wen Kexing’s brain-splitting headaches immediately, and rushes over.

“Lao Wen!”

“Shishu!”

Zhou Zishu catches Wen Kexing just as he collapses, his legs giving out under him. His fingers immediately search for Wen Kexing’s pulse.

This is an all-too familiar scene, but Zhou Zishu cannot remember when this last happened. His body growing cold at the implications, all the fears are now suddenly dredged up from the trenches of trauma sustained at a point in time long ago.

“Go get Physician Yao,” Zhou Zishu snaps at whichever disciple is standing closest to them, before picking Wen Kexing up.

Zhang Chengling turns up in their room before the physician does, and whatever fear he is experiencing right now abates slightly.

Before the manor started to grow, there was only the three of them. If anyone understands what he is feeling right now, it would be Chengling.

“Shifu…” he says, trailing off as he kneels down next to the bed and looks at Wen Kexing. “Shishu hasn’t had this in years, what happened?”

“Maybe… I don’t know,” Zhou Zishu exhales heavily. “He could be just.. too tired.”

They watch over him until the physician arrives. Zhou Zishu refuses to be chased out, and the tightness in his chest only disappears once she rolls her eyes at him after testing Wen Kexing’s pulse.

“The both of you are not young anymore,” Physician Yao almost scoffs. “And the injuries and illnesses that the both of you share combined can fill up a list a mile long. He hasn’t exerted himself like this in a long while, suddenly letting it all out in a fight like that, of course there are bound to be side effects. Stop looking at him as if he’s about to die.”

Zhou Zishu is about to thank her, when a weak rasp comes from the bed, “… been there, done that.”

Relief floods him at the sound of Wen Kexing’s voice, and immediately after, anger burns hot through him as the man’s words sink in, “Wen Kexing!”

Physician Yao retreats, knowing by now not to give instructions to them both when they get like this. Instead, speaking to any of their disciples would be much more reliable.

===

Later, after all has quietened down for certain, the stench of blood fading somewhat, Wen Kexing blinks languidly, not wanting to move at all, or do anything.

If he was to die in this position right now, he would have zero complaints.

Zhou Zishu pats at the back of his head gently as Wen Kexing lies almost half on him, his ear pressed over Zhou Zishu’s heart, comforted by the strong beat. Years later, the both of them approaching the big five-o, and Wen Kexing is still like a child sometimes.

Well, he’s making up for lost time.

He is greedy for more years with Ah Xu, in this life and every single life after. A hundred, a thousand years and more. Every little bit, he wants to spend with Ah Xu.

“Ah Xu,” he murmurs, and feels the vibration of the man’s response through his chest, “Before, I could not have what I wanted. I could not play when I wanted to, there was no one to teach me martial arts when I wanted to learn and the things I wanted I could not afford.”

“The person I wanted to keep, I was too late.”

This conversation seems so far away now, but is as clear to the both of them as if it happened just yesterday. That rainy, storming night.

A night of despair and hopelessness.

Zhou Zishu huffs in amusement.

“And now?” he asks.

Wen Kexing looks up, and cheekily responds, “Well, the martial arts part aside, Ah Xu, you pay for everything now, so I can afford everything! And in terms of play… you would know best how well I play now with-“

He’s cut off with a warning look from Zhou Zishu, although the man does not attempt to jostle him, still worried about his earlier headache and injuries sustained from the fight.

Wen Kexing loves this man, to the depths of hell and back.

“And… the person I want to keep, is right here with me.”

Zhou Zishu’s answering smile lights up every fibre of being.

They have forever to look forward to.

***

#tian ya ke #faraway wanderers #shan he ling #word of honor #wenzhou #wen kexing #zhou zishu #shl fic #hahaha yeah #technically spoilers but all the eps are out now so #whatever hahahaha #read at your own risk

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mingying · 3 years

Text

[spoilers] hospital playlist s2 ep 11; ikjun/songhwa

I can’t believe this finally happened. And it happened in arguably the best ways possible for us IkSong shippers. As usual, this post is just basically my own thoughts and opinion of the episode and my interpretation of things - feel free to disagree, and I hope you enjoy reading this musing of mine!

22 years later, finally they found each other again <3

TL;DR: Everything happens for a reason and we have finally reached the rainbow end <3

Let’s begin by addressing the ER scene, but before that, I would like to point out that since Ep 10, Songhwa has been shown to be somewhat forgetful and a klutz - in Ep 10, she was searching for her socks and insisted that she wore them for her rounds. She also seemed to have forgotten to take off her surgical cap until Seonbin pointed it out to her.

In Ep 11, the episode starts off with Songhwa leaving her handbag in Ikjun’s office, and subsequently her handphone, followed by her handbag in the car again. This is not a dementia arc, guys (haha) but I genuinely think that this is her mind being occupied by her newly realised feelings for Ikjun that her normally composed self had started to crumble (and that’s entirely ok!). Another interpretation of this scene could be that unintentionally and subconsciously, she just wanted to remain in the hospital knowing Ikjun may return to collect his gift later.

Can I also point out her sixth sense in this scene? When she peered out of her window and heard the sound of ambulance, followed immediately by Dr Bong calling, she looked disturbed. Normally, she would have answered her calls immediately without hesitation but this time you could tell that she frowned and waited for maybe 2 seconds before answering Dr Bong. Well, never messed with a woman’s intuition I guess!

The ER Scene. Gosh. I actually have a lot of things to say about this. I know some people do not like this trope and that it is a typical trigger for characters to realise their feelings. But, I’d have to say that ShinLee did not intend for this scene to be a trigger of Songhwa realising that she likes Ikjun.

Because she already knows and had realised, somewhere around Ep 8-9 but more obviously 9, that she does like him as a man (all over again). If anything, this ER scene was meant to give Songhwa that one last push to confess, otherwise she may end up regretting not to. Another reason why I felt this scene was necessary was that Songhwa has been too comfortable in Ikjun’s constant presence by her side -- perhaps she has been wanting to confess but still lack the courage to and she didn’t think she needed to act on it rightaway because Ikjun would always be there by her side.

Gosh, the way she rushed to Ikjun and didn’t even hear Dr Bong trying to report to her that he actually wasn’t in such a terrible state. The way she slipped her hand in his and was so gentle in her questions - you can really just tell that she was trying her best not to crumble.

(side note: Jeon Mido, your acting was truly stellar during this scene. That suppressed professionalism vs personal feelings. I really felt her worry and regret in this entire scene. I loved it so much)

Now, why do I firmly believe that Songhwa already intends to confess to Ikjun eventually? Other than the fact that Songhwa herself confirmed during her confession that “I should have told you that I liked you”, it’s because of the Gift that she has given him for his birthday. It’s a cap, and initially we don’t think much of it until the flashback sequence showed and we realised that, a cap was what 99z Songhwa wanted to give to Ikjun but never did because he had turned her down for dinner and lied that he has a blind date.

Present day Songhwa gifting Ikjun a cap can be interpreted as her having let go of the hurt he had caused her in the past and that she was willing to try, again.

Interestingly, I’d like to also point out that the 99z flashback in this episode was truly necessary for us to understand Songhwa’s aversion to ‘Sad Sea’ and why she has rejected Ikjun in the first episode. 99z Songhwa didn’t give up when Ikjun stood her up for her birthday but mustered the courage to confess to him - she tried twice too, asking if he really has to go on that blind date that evening and couldn’t he go another time? Ikjun, in that scene, was playing Sad Sea.

I would like to apologise to Ep 7 Songhwa because I had been frustrated with her then, but now that everything has been rolled out beautifully, I do not blame her at all for her hesitancy and year long passiveness. Ikjun kinda deserved it after breaking her heart twice (HA!) and remember this shot of Ikjun in Ep 7?

I now interpret this scene as him realising that he knew Songhwa’s reasons of rejecting him. Because there was no way he didn’t know that Songhwa had liked him in the 99z, and he was perhaps regretting turning her down for dinner that day during his birthday. He knew he had a chance with her then but blew it, and that is perhaps why he never faltered in making Songhwa happy now. Not that he expects anything in return, but perhaps he wanted to make up for the indirect hurt he had caused her.

Bab Meokja had been something initiated by Songhwa back then. And now, it is a treat he gives himself -- I really do think that is the reason why he keeps asking Songhwa out for meals in the present time, because Ikjun probably wanted to indrectly make up for what happened in 99z.

Let’s move on to another great scene! The card game scene!

For some, it may seem to be a random scene but for me, I saw it in a different way and I’m glad Kfans and some users on Twitter pointed out this theory as well.

As you all know, the card game IkSong was playing was “Bluff/Cheat”. Here, you could see that Ikjun could read Songhwa so well that he knows when she would lie. But Songhwa on the other hand, could not read Ikjun as well -- and this is further affirmed by Songhwa’s confession when she said “If your feelings for me haven’t changed,”. This is beautiful because it makes Ikjun’s expression during the confession scene even more sense -- a user on reddit pointed out that his expression at that time wasn’t more of a “omg she likes me after all”, it was more of a “she has realised her feelings for me,” and I think that’s absolutely beautiful. He even nodded subtlely a few times as Songhwa struggled to get her confession out, as if encouraging her and saying “you can do it, just a bit more”.

Back to the card game - Ikjun even threw down a 9 Hearts - which I believe is a metaphor of his feelings for her, steady and still unwavering.

(Bonus note: I absolutely love how Iksun caught on to them being lovey dovey at once and Junwan’s expression catching them was HILARIOUS)

On to my next scene which was absolute favourite.

Songhwa had finished a difficult/challenging surgery, and out of excitement (she even skipped omg whipped girlie), she called Ikjun first to convey the good news to him. Her tone here really depicts a difference in how she talks to Ikjun before. This scene alone tells you that Songhwa has pretty much fallen for Ikjun again and I love love love that finally she has someone she would want to immediately call to share her good news with!

And the best part? Our best boy Lee Ikjun never went to Changwon. Instead, he waited for her for probably hours (it was bright day when they said goodbye, but night when Songhwa returned to her office) and even told her straight that he has to see her before he leaves because of how worried she had been before. Good lord find me a man like Ikjun please?

image cr: iksongarchives @ twitter

This entire shot, with I Knew I Love playing in the background pretty much hits. It is in this exact moment that Songhwa has probably made up her mind to confess for real, that she wasn’t going to waste another second because I am sooo sure she would have ran to hug him if not because of their status at that moment. I love this scene so much. It is the personification of the lyrics of I Knew I Love, which goes “I called you out of habit today and you answered warmly, you make me the happiest in the whole wide world, I love you so much”.

And finally.

Finally.

*takes a deep breath*

SONGHWA CONFESSED!!!!!!!!

AND THEY KISSED!!!! UNDER THE RAIN!!!

The whole directing of this scene, with the slow camera panning into them - Ikjun was restless, probably breaking into cold sweats (he commented it was cold) while Songhwa was nervous and trying to muster enough courage to confess (she commented it was really hot). I held my breath for so long I felt like I was about to faint I swear to god.

Songhwa looked legit terrified that Ikjun was going to reject her man, and it all makes sense why after we got the 99z flashback this episode.

And Ikjun, he really waited for her cues. Even after she was done confessing, he looked at her and waited for her to look at him back before he went “I’ll give you my answer”. And it was only after Songhwa nodded in fear and anticipation, that he swooped in to kiss her!!!!!

Songhwa definitely also leaned in first before Ikjun pulled her closer. She wanted this just as much as he did and it showed through their first kiss. Gosh I’m still shaking just thinking about how perfect that entire sequence and kiss was. They really went all out for it (yes I believe there was tongue involved) rather than soft and gentle. 22 years of suppressed yearning and feelings really popped out in that kiss alone and I am so blessed to have been a part of their beautiful journey.

And now, with only one episode left, we are finally able to see IkSong as a couple and on dates. I have a feeling Songhwa would be the clingy gf man, judging from the Preview keke. I cannot wait to see the rest of the boys finding out, and for sure, I cannot wait to see how their dynamics would change now as lovers rather than just best friends. I do think their transition would be seamless, only that now, they get to do what other lovers could.

This post is so long but I felt the need to address another matter that I have seen roaming around the internet. Apparently, some people are annoyed that Songhwa was ‘forced to change her mind’ and that we cannot accept her ‘No’ in ep 1. I would humbly and respectfully disagree on this point. Songhwa’s ‘No’ in ep 1 was not a “I don’t like you therefore I am rejecting you”. It was more of a “I do not know how to sort out my feelings yet, and am not ready to revisit the past, so it is best not to tamper with it”.

Songhwa did not change her mind overnight or weeks. It took her one year and a few months. She has had all that time to weighs her decisions again and properly thought out how she wanted to bring forward her relationship with Ikjun. She was not forced.

She may have said that she liked being single in S1, but she has never been averse to love. In fact, she is always encouraging other people to go for it. I for one, am single and absolutely enjoying it. But that doesn’t mean I’m not going to ever change my mind if I find someone worthy enough to share my space and happiness with. I like being single now because guys around me are idiots and I’d rather save myself that headache LOL.

Her conscious decision to accept Ikjun now does not and will never invalidate her decision to reject him back then - in fact, it goes to show that as human beings, we constantly undergo character growth and our minds are often changed to suit the present circumstances.

ShinLee did not portray Songhwa in that light where ‘women needs to say yes if a guy treats her right’. Ikjun did all of those things for her without expecting anything in return. He never once crossed the line and never once forced Songhwa into accepting his love for her. Songhwa said yes because she likes Ikjun and is now ready to move their relationship to that of romantic. It is as simple as that.

And one last point to make is that Songhwa being in a relationship does not in any way invalidate that she is a strong and independent woman. Please do not associate the relationship status of a woman to her being ‘strong/independent’. A woman in a relationship and a woman not being a relationship are still BOTH strong AND independent. Love is a universal element in life, why deprive a person of it simply because she’s portrayed to be a “strong” female character? If that love brings her greater joy and ardent happiness, why stop her from enriching her life further?

Anyway. I digress.

If you made it until the end of this ridiculously long post, thank you. I hope it was an enjoyable read! Till Ep 12!

#iksong #hospital playlist 2 #lee ikjun #chae songhwa #lee ikjun x chae songhwa #my otp #season 2 episode 11 #the best episode ever

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heauxzenji · 3 years

Note

I just came across you nsfw with Osamu and I really enjoyed it I was wondering if You could do one for Kita?

Hi love! This is for u 💕 and all the kita fuckers worldwide- myself included bc I’m in love with him now 🥺

NSFW Alphabet - Kita Shinsuke

Nsfw below da cut g

gn!reader focus in this hoe

A/n: ty @honey-makki for being my partner in degeneracy and my wife ilysm bc she can read when I can’t

𝕬 - 𝕬𝖋𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖊

Will feed you a full meal. His way of making sure you’re cared for is keeping you well fed. He will cuddle you and spoon feed you himself if he has to, as long as you eat every single bite. He has a routine for everything, aftercare is no exception. He runs you a bath, then, while you soak, he cooks. Will make sure to throw a hoodie in the dryer before heading to the kitchen so it'll be warm for you post shower. Then he feeds you and holds you, playing with your hair or your hands until you fall asleep.

𝕭 - 𝕭𝖔𝖉𝖞 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙

You already know what the fuck is going onnnn! Kita is honestly so well sculpted that it really doesn’t matter but let’s talk about his back/shoulders. He’s so mf broad and it's very sexc of him. He’s also very fond of when you cling onto and scratch it up…. delicious

He loves your hands. He loves to hold them, especially when he’s looking straight into your eyes as he drills the hell out of you- he’ll lift one up and kiss it bc ✨romance✨

𝕮 - 𝕮𝖚𝖒

Oh he’s going to fill you so full of cum that it pours out of your ears. He has a big breeding kink, and huge loads to match. But he’s also very healthy and takes good care of himself so his cum isn’t bad on your tongue on the off chance he hasn’t already cum inside you 600 times prior to finally doing so in your mouth. And he’s going to kiss you after- very sexc of him.

𝕯 - 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕾𝖊𝖈𝖗𝖊𝖙

Lost his virginity in a barn. Got a tick on his ass of all places. The barn isn’t the secret tho... the tick is.

𝕰 - 𝕰𝖝𝖕𝖊𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖓𝖈𝖊

When you got together- he was definitely a virgin. Had only gone as far as MAYBE second base. But you used that to your advantage, because you’ve essentially built him up and trained him to be PERFECT for you. You also helped him find out what he likes and what makes him feel good too. Sure there was a lil’ corruption involved, but in the end you’re both very happy with your sex life.

𝕱 - 𝕱𝖆𝖛𝖔𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖊 𝕻𝖔𝖘𝖎𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

Full on mf wrestling mating press. He’s going to have his cock so deep inside of you that if he even pushed a bit more his body is gonna go in too. Then he’ll just live there. He’s fine with that.

𝕲 - 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖋𝖞

Unintentionally so. Every once in a while, you’ll both giggle or laugh because you have to reposition when you start to cramp up or you accidentally hit him in the face when tying to pull him closer or something. But he’s a firm believer in the whole “if you can’t laugh with the person you’re having sex with you shouldn’t have sex with them” addage, so he’s very grateful for those light moments.

𝕳 - 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖗

It could definitely be neater. He isn’t abysmal, but he is hairy and could stand to trim a tiiiny bit more often. He’s just very low maintenance down there. As long as it’s clean he's good, which is both true and a decent place to start but pls tell him to get a little off the top of you know what I mean.

𝕴 - 𝕴𝖓𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖆𝖈y

He’s! So! Loving! He’s always going to go the extra mile to make you feel special. He likes to keep things on the softer side I’d say 8/10 times. He prefers to make love instead of just fucking it out- but if you get into an argument or he’s frustrated, he will happily go hard… but still with candles and a massage. Also I said it already but he’s gonna hold your hands while he demolishes you- interlaced fingers and all that cute shit even tho you’re getting railed.

𝕵 - 𝕵𝖆𝖈𝖐 𝕺𝖋𝖋

His grandma is one of those old ladies that’s like “don’t do that you’ll go blind,” so poor baby was a lil pent up before he got older. Now, he still doesn't do it often, but he does it once a month or so as part of his routine. He uses coconut oil because he likes the smell and that it melts easily.

𝕶 - 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖐

Breeding, listen it’s just embedded in country boys to fuck and fill. He is no exception.

Spanking, moreso as a way to direct you. Moving too much? slap to stay still. Changing positions? Slap to get you moving. Just wants to see you jiggle? Yeah that too. Motivational slaps also come into play when he wants you to know you’re doing a good job.

Auralism, He LOVES to hear you. The sound of your breath, your moans, the way you chant his name when you’re close… he eats that shit up. It feeds his ego and boosts his pride. He also makes a lot of noise himself, mostly really deep moans but there’s a sprinkling of praise throughout too.

𝕷 - 𝕷𝖔𝖈𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He needs privacy. So he’s definitely one to want to keep it at home or at least somewhere secluded and away, where he knows only you and him are there and will know about it.

𝕸 - 𝕸𝖔𝖙𝖎𝖛𝖆𝖙𝖎𝖔𝖓

He doesn’t care how he does it, but his number one priority, is making sure that you cum. Kita is a giver. And he will make sure to give you whatever you want from him.

𝕹 - 𝕹𝖔!

He’s not into SUPER rough stuff. He’s not vanilla, but he is the kind of guy that sees sex as “lovemaking” so he’s not gonna punch you in the face or throw you around like a ragdoll. It’s just not his style. Of course if it's what you want, he will… but never expect him to ever bring it up or do so on his own.

𝕺 - 𝕺𝖗𝖆𝖑

Ok so- he's… teachable. I’m not gonna lie, he would start off as absolute trash. But the good thing about him is how adaptable he is, and how willing he is to learn. You’d have to have him work at it a lot but once he gets good he’s great. He’ll love the feeling of accomplishment he gets from you getting off with only his mouth- it does wonders for his pride.

𝕻 - 𝕻𝖆𝖈𝖊

It’s very even- until he starts to get close. When he’s close he’s going to speed up so much that you have to brace yourself against anything that’ll hold you. He is definitely a headboard grabber too.

𝕼 - 𝕼𝖚𝖎𝖈𝖐𝖎𝖊

He likes to take his time with you. For that reason, he isn’t a huge fan. You would really have to convince him that it's worth it. He doesn’t see the point in instant gratification, and thinks you should be patient. Good things come to those who wait and all that Kita stop being so stoic and rail me at the farmers market challenge

𝕽 - 𝕽𝖎𝖘𝖐

Lmfao you think this mans is really gonna go for a public or semi-public scene? Think again. Now, he’s into sex outdoors sure, but only in your fenced in, enclosed backyard. He’s not letting anyone see you point blank periodt, you’re for his eyes only.

𝕾 - 𝕾𝖙𝖆𝖒𝖎𝖓𝖆

Excellent self control. He can hold off on cumming for as long as you need him to. Usually he’ll tap out himself after you’ve gotten through at least 3 of your own highs- but his record is 6. Has a super long refractory period tho- so he does things this way to make sure you get everything you need in one go.

𝕿 - 𝕿𝖔𝖞

He actually likes using toys on you. He has a bunch of different plugs and vibes that he uses to suit the situation. He prefers to use a hitachi wand on you while he’s fucking you, but all the others he uses for foreplay- or after to keep you full to the brim of his cum.

𝖀 - 𝖀𝖓𝖋𝖆𝖎𝖗

You both tease each other absentmindedly. He doesn’t know why he gets so turned on by you scrubbing the floor on all fours (that’s why), but he does. He also doesn’t understand why you think its hot when he cuts firewood in winter or wipes his forehead with his shirt during the summer. He thinks he’s gross and sweaty- but you can only think of a million other ways to make him sweatier.

𝖁 - 𝖁𝖔𝖑𝖚𝖒𝖊

Listen we stan. He’s not quiet in bed by any means, but he’s not overly loud either. He’s the type who takes deep breaths and then on the exhale let’s out a moan from deep in his chest- you know the one. And he does that shit on purpose. Not really, but he does think of it as his way of letting you know that he feels as good as you feel. Will also 100% hit you with the “is that it baby? Is that the spot?” While you’re practically turning into jello underneath him bc he absolutely knows that’s the spot he just likes to make you say it.

𝖂 - 𝖂𝖎𝖑𝖉𝖈𝖆𝖗𝖉

Wants to recreate the sex scene from tthe notebook with you. He can’t explain why, he just has an unexplainable urge to suck your face off in the rain and then proceed to raw you after peeling all the damp clothes from your body. Please oblige him.

𝖃 - 𝖃-𝕽𝖆𝖞

He’s got the thickness. Not coke Can thickness but like… you remember the Alaskan bull worm from ep of SpongeBob? Well he’s the whole worm, not just the tongue. I’m going to hell for that reference but ya he has a nice dick. The perfect thickness and and I’ll say a pretty good 5.5-6 inches worth. It’s also very veiny on the underside which- yes I love that.

𝖄 - 𝖄𝖊𝖆𝖗𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖌

Normal sex drive, since you tend to do it at least 2 times a week. He only seems to get a little needier when you CAN’T have sex regularly- ie, one of you is sick or you’re away from each other. When that happens, he’s a little edgier than usual, can snap sometimes but not often.

𝖅 - 𝖅𝖟𝖟

He’s the type to get a second wind after. He’ll only go to sleep after he makes sure all your aftercare needs are met, and even then, he’s only going to power-nap it for maybe 10mins. He’ll stay still and cuddle you while you sleep, but he’ll most likely watch tv or scroll through his phone while you enjoy his warmth. Every once in awhile he’ll give you a kiss while you stir.

Taglist Starseeds (check ur privacy settings if your url is in bold): @honey-makki @crushzone @yumekosgamblingroom @boujiesav @onesingleravioli @ushijimasfarmhat @trouvelle @nekoma-hoe @right-shoe-jpg @atsumusc0ck @nivky0-0 @animoozies @charmarsmith @tsumue @disasteren @hoe4abbacchio @sillykittt @ukaisbaby

#daisy’s red light district 🚨#haikyuu smut #haikyuu headcanons #haikyuu x reader #kita haikyuu #kita x reader #hq x reader #hq smut #hq headcanons #haikyuu hc #haikyuu hcs #hq headcanon #hq writing #hq scenario #haikyuu x y/n #hq x gn!reader

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marlborodean · 3 years

Text

here’s my analysis of a 14-yr-old supernatural episode

so remember that episode where sam fucked a werewolf? because he related to her unwilling monstrosity? well that episode is actually just about dean starting to come to grips with his childhood and his sexuality.

if you ship w/ncest do not interact. this post is not anti-sam either btw.

content warning: discussions of childhood trauma, internalized homophobia, guns, killing.

does include some images with Image Descriptions following them.

[ID: An over-the-shoulder close-up shot from the episode, focused on Madison, the werewolf, as she cries. Dean is standing behind her. They are both looking at Sam, whose shoulder is on the edge of the frame. End ID.]

Brief episode recap just in case u don’t remember. This ep is 2x17 “Heart.” Sam and Dean are hunting a werewolf. They discover that the woman they interviewed, Madison, is a werewolf (not THEE werewolf, but one of them). Sam develops a lil crush on her <3 I wrote the majority of this after watching it for the first time in almost SIX years, so i was just vibing the whole time UNTIL the last shot changed it all for me. So let me explain!

Three important points that i will refer back to:

1. The episode begins with Dean being excited to hunt a werewolf because "what about a human by day, a freak animal killing machine by moonlight don't you understand? I mean, werewolves are badass. We haven't seen one since we were kids."

2. Then the episode centers on Sam and his relationship with the werewolf woman and his own monstrosity: "[Dean: Sam, she's a monster and you're feeling sorry for her?] Maybe I understand her."

3. BUT THEN the last shot of the episode is of Dean crying as music plays (see below for the specific lyrics) and then Dean jumps at the sound of the gunshot. That's it! That's the end of the episode!

[ID: For all three screencaps, Dean is looking torturously sad. Each one is zoomed a little bit closer to his face than the last. In the last image, Dean sheds a single man tear. The captioned lyrics for the first one say "Relax, child, you were there." The second says "but only didn't realize" and the third says "and you were scared." End ID]

Even though the story is supposed to be about Sam and his monstrosity, and partly about his relationship w/romance since this is the first person he’s slept with since Jess died (at least with what is shown on screen)...the Dean Sandwich tells us otherwise. We're supposed to be taking away something about DEAN here. Like, that's the whole purpose behind the last shot focusing solely on Dean instead of Sam who is AT THAT MOMENT, KILLING THE GIRL HE HAS FEELINGS FOR. It's literally a heartbreaking, devastating, super traumatic thing for Sam to be going through, but instead we're watching Dean as a single tear slides down his face lmao. It's because this episode is about DEAN, and furthering his story.

Let’s not queer this just yet. The death of the werewolf is about/representing his loss of innocence. It's a violent disconnect from his childhood. Point # 1 shows that he is fascinated by werewolves because since he was a kid he thought they were badass, not to mention all the werewolf films he references throughout. Then, through the music lyrics over that last scene, they mirror that theme of childhood. They’ve done this before, having the diegetic music directly reference what the characters are going through. No different here: Dean is the child they’re referring to.

I have to reiterate that that's the last thing we hear before the gunshot cuts the music short and then the cut to black. "You were scared" is the last thing we hear before the gunshot, as Dean cries. ALSO I have to reiterate that Dean was looking forward to killing a werewolf and shooting it himself. So it's super fascinating that, not only is Sam the one that kills the werewolf, WE DON’T EVEN SEE IT HAPPEN.

[ID: A medium-close shot of Dean as he looks at Sam, who takes up the right half of the frame. The caption says, “Sammy, I got this one. I’ll do it.” End ID.]

Am i gonna have to say this now? The werewolf is a metaphor, okay? It's a metaphor for his innocence, which is long-dead, forever doomed. I mean, a lot of kids love werewolves because they ARE badass! It's a classic monster that anyone could easily obsess over, and with Dean's childhood it must've seemed even cooler, knowing they're real and having the power to kill this "mythical" beast. So the way he's looking forward to killing one is the way a child imagines themselves as a hero.

But what happens instead is a tragic mercy killing. It's flipping his fantasy completely on its head, and it makes Dean realize that.....his fantasies are just fantasies. They aren't real, never would be. There's nothing heroic about killing this werewolf. It's tragic as hell. When he offers to kill her himself, it's just to relieve Sam's burden, but he's reluctant still. Because, as he keeps saying, he doesn't want to be a hunter! He doesn't want this life! He's tired of killing! And that's also what he's mourning as he cries and startles at the gunshot. His fantasies will never be real and his childhood could never have been normal and he never got a chance to be a kid because being a hunter was thrust on him at such a young age. And now it feels inescapable.

[ID: A gif of the slow zoom on Dean’s face as the single tears slips down his cheek. He jumps at the gunshot, then blinks and his lip wobbles. End ID.]

So now we can queer it :-) Of course all monster stories can be easily queered, but werewolves are popularly queered. The first example that comes to mind is An American Werewolf in London (1981) isn’t an overtly queer film (though it is Jewish!) but it’s definitely read that way by a lot of people!! Anyway the film was directed by John Landis which JUST SO HAPPENS to be the pseudonym Dean goes by in this episode. hmm. (Also, interestingly, the BTVS ep where the first gay character comes out references this film too)

[ID: Sam and Dean are standing close to each other. Sam is in the foreground, not in focus. Dean, behind him, says, “Landis. And Detective Dante.” End ID.]

There’s this essay about the queer werewolf that you can read here (and they also talk about fandom in it! very fascinating), where they say in the intro: “the werewolf seems an obvious choice as a queer monster with its identity-disrupting hybridity, as well as its atavistic, and, thus, disallowable sexuality.” A lot like Kristeva’s theory of the abject body! which is popular in queer theory.

This episode is then queering Sam—his attraction to the werewolf makes him abject—but it also queers Dean thru the way his attitude towards the werewolf transforms (get it?) throughout the ep. His desire and eagerness to kill the werewolves is obviously ingrained in him from John’s parenting. Consider what he said in 2x03 “Bloodlust”: “And the way he raised us, to hate those things—and man, I hate them, I do.” In conjunction with the monsters in the show being seen as queer allegories (the gorgon, as an example of an explicit comparison), Dean’s excitement to kill the werewolf can be read as internalized homophobia and repressing any of his own feelings.

Remember, though, right before that line in “Bloodlust,” he also said, “What if we killed things that didn’t deserve killing?” He’s really beginning to question whether all monsters are bad, and what it means to kill them. Is he also questioning what he believes of queer people? What John believed of queer people? The loss of innocence and queering both slot together through that final shot, imo: he’s crying because he realizes his fantasies aren’t real, but he’s also mourning the fact that he never could have had the chance to grow up without John’s control, and now it’s forever tainted his worldview. What else could he have been without that? (The answer is evident in 4x17 “It’s a Terrible Life.”)

Dean was taught to hate queer people but he doesn't want to. He wants to get out of the life but it feels inescapable. He wants to kill a werewolf and then when he has the chance, he doesn't want to. He actually cries as it's killed. It scares him, having to confront that what he thought he knew was wrong, but he knows all the same that he’ll never have the chance to have grown up without that.

#is anyone up? anyone wanna read this? i finished this instead of doing homework #sorry the end is bad LMAO i'm notoriously bad at writing conclusions #also i want to say that the monster allegories in SPN more often have to do with race and not homophobia. but this episode sticks out to me #as representing queerness instead of race. especially because they set it up as compared to Sam's story which is SO queer.#spn #what do i tag this #ej.pdf #supernatural #bi dean #my professors would give me a bad grade on this #portfolio

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nctsjiho · 3 years

Text

King JiHo (Favourite JiHo moments)

Fan Video by ‘Haechan’s Children’ on YouTube

(indented text = comments added by the maker of the video) I’m 100% convinced that this is JiHo’s world and we’re just living in it. Here’s some moments that prove this <3 Enjoyyyy~~

[[N'-135] New Thangs🙆‍♀️🙆‍♂️New Thangs👍👃 | ‘영웅(Kick It)’ 인기가요 대기실 비하인드]

NCT 127 was chilling in their dressing room, backstage, waiting for their turn to perform ‘Kick It’. JiHo sat in one of the chairs in front of the mirrors, ready to get her make up done. Taeyong who was holding the camera walked up to the girl ready to interview her.

“And here we have our lovely JiHo getting ready for our stage.” He commented, earning a hum from the girl. “How are you feeling- oh? What’s that?” The camera wasn’t pointed at anything anymore as Taeyong leaned in closer to the girl then readjusted the camera again to focus on JiHo. His hand reached out to grab her chin and his thumb lightly pressed against a purple spot beneath the left corner of her lip. “Is it real?” The concern was audible in his question and JiHo nodded.

“I thought it was fake! What happened? When did you get that bruise? It looks painful.” Taeyong kept firing out questions which had both JiHo and the make up artist, who was currently working on her, laughing. “It doesn’t hurt too bad.” JiHo answered coolly, her eyes darted to the mirror in front of her and she noticed Mark walk behind her.

“Mark and I got into a fight yesterday.” Taeyong gasped and Mark snapped his head towards her after hearing his name. “What?” Both men asked shocked at the statement. “Mark hit you?” Taeyong asked once again pointing towards the bruise on JiHo’s face. “What are you talking about?” Mark stuttered over his words and turned his head to take a closer look at the bruise. JiHo didn’t say anything as Taeyong put down the camera on the table in front of them and started scolding the innocent boy.

Both JiHo and the make up artist were laughing and JiHo decided to grab the camera and point it towards both boys. “Oppa. I’m just kidding, leave poor Mark alone.” She explained, trying not to laugh again.

Johnny who had been watching everything happen had joined the group wordlessly. “Lim JiHo! You can’t joke about things like that!” The leader scolded and Mark let out a relieved gasp. “What?” She laughed at his expression. “I know we didn’t get into a fight, but I almost started second guessing myself that I somehow did do that to you.” With a hand on his heart, the panic lingered in his eyes for a few more seconds before it slowly vanished.

“You two are so gullible, oh lord.” JiHo chuckled and Johnny now settled between both boys, patting them both on their shoulders. “Taeyong you should’ve known better. If JiHo did get into a fight with Mark, we all know Mark would be the one to come out that with bruises. Not the other way around.”

She has these boys wrapped around her finger and she knows it!

[NCT 127 Talks "Superhuman", Tour, and KPop]

“What makes NCT 127 different from every other boy band?” Jaehyun’s eyes met JiHo’s, who is sitting on the front row of members next to Jungwoo. They shared a smile as Zach, the host, continues his question.

Johnny translated the question to all the other members and JiHo slowly brought the mic up to her lips. Once Johnny finished translating, the female voice of JiHo resonated through the room. “Well...” She stopped there with a nod and everyone started laughing.

After Taeyong and Johnny finished their answer JiHo grabbed her mic once again. “Just want to clarify, I’m not saying I’m the only reason we’re different, I’m just saying, if you’re calling us a boy band then of course me being a female member would technically already make us different from all other boy bands.” She quickly added.

“How does that feel? Being the only girl in a group of men.” Zach asked and JiHo shrugged. “It doesn’t feel abnormal to me. I think after knowing the guys for such a long time I just like, kind of found my spot with them and it just feels normal.” “I think JiHo sometimes forgets that she a girl...” Johnny added carefully, his voice turning a bit unsure at the end. With the boys laughing in the background JiHo waved a piece sign in front of the camera closest to her and started “acting cool” before talking into the mic with a deeper voice. “I’m part of the boys. Part of the homies. Ya know?”

JiHo sweetie, I know you wanna look cool, but all you’re doing is looking adorable. Please stop I’m gonna have a heart attack

[⚾️시티고 야구부⚾️ EP.1 라커 급습 | NCT 127 Baseball Team]

After Johnny’s joke about copying Mark(’s butt), Taeil spoke up, “Aren’t we missing someone?” “Where’s JiHo?” Yuta spun around once as if he was looking for the absent girl. “Tsk. Again, she’s late-” “Lee Haechan!” A voiced boomed off of frame.

JiHo walked in with a confident stride stopping in the middle of the room and staring straight into the main camera. “Don’t speak about your baseball team leader like that.” She said in a cold tone. “Sunbaenim, where were you?” Johnny asked. Since the age rolls were reversed, JiHo was now the oldest in the group. “I just came back from the gym as the leader of the cheerleading team who just finished practise.” “You’re also their leader?” Doyoung stifled a laugh and JiHo turned to him sending him a glare. He put up his hands in a defensive pose and took a step back after which JiHo turned back to the camera.

“Why? Don’t you believe me?” “I don’t know JiHo. It’s just that-” Mark stopped talking before being able to finish his sentence as the girl kicked up her left leg. She caught her foot with her left hand and pulled her leg up until it was next to her face, extended into a heel stretch. Her right hand was also in the air, showing of how great her balance and flexibility is. She kept the pose for a few seconds before bringing her foot back down to the ground. “Wow!” The boys gasped in surprised.

JiHo isn’t trying to be flexible, flexible is trying to be JiHo

She eyed Mark who quickly acknowledged the fact that she fit as the role of the cheerleading team. “Don’t underestimate me Markie.” The teasing tone along with the nickname sent a shiver down the boy’s spine, the other boys either oohing or being slightly scared themselves.

Why is Mark always the victim of JiHo’s teasing?? I can’t with them

[‘To You’ #3]

The whole ‘To You’ series was really sweet and emotional. So this isn’t as funny as the previous clips, but I felt like this still fits the theme so well. I also think that not that many fans have seen this before, so after this clip you should watch all 3 videos <3

PS. this isn’t the full clip but here are some of my favourite parts of Taeil’s message to JiHo

“It must have been hard right? Your position in the group is very special and it must come with a lot of pressure.” Taeil’s eyes fell into his lap, a sad smile on his lips. “But you always try to hide your hardships from the group.”

I believe what he means with ‘position’ is being the maknae of the group as well as being the only girl

“I wished that you could come to us more and open up about those things, because I know that everyone (in the group) would drop everything they were doing in a heartbeat to hear you out.” He took a deep breath before continuing.

“Haechan is the mood maker in the sense that he likes joking around and being loud, but you also are a mood maker. Just in your own unique way. You’re such a good listener and observer so you notice things other people might not. You approach members silently or make small gestures, which mean a lot, to cheer someone up. But you can also be funny and loud. I appreciate both of those sides of you.”

I’m not crying, you are ::>_<::

It was silent for a little as Taeil seemed deep in thought. “I know you don’t like to be treated in a more special way than the other members, and the older members really try not to show it. But in our minds... and in our hearts, you do have a special place. I know you are a strong person and can protect yourself just as well, if not better, than the other members, but I can’t help but want to protect you.”

“Whatever anyone says, those people who aren’t our fans or don’t understand us, I hope you don’t take their painful words to heart. Because you are just as fit to be in NCT as any of the other members.”

I’m so happy to see how much NCT cares for JiHo, not that I ever doubted that they didn’t, but seeing this was so heart-warming and JiHo’s reaction was so sweet as well as her message to Taeyong (but you have to go watch the original video for that ;-) )

[[Un Cut] Take #4 I ‘NCT - RESONANCE Pt. 1’ The Future ver. Jacket Behind the Scene]

The camera focused on JiHo who was currently doing her individual shots. She was wearing a beige oversized long sleeve that showed of her collarbones but covered up most of the rest of her body.

JiHo squatted down and tilted her head to the side to show of her jawline. The staff were complimenting her as the shoot went on.

A particular switch in poses had elicited a surprising response from one of the female staff members. “Wow~ Has she always been this pretty?” She said in awe, which caused everyone to start laughing and agreeing.

After JiHo’s shoot it was Ten and Kun’s turn. During Ten’s individual interview he brought up the event that happened before his shoot started. “I heard that the staff was surprised by JiHo’s visuals.” He chuckled. “My baby is very pretty everyone. Don’t forget that or you’ll be surprised and fall in love with her like the staff member did.”

I don’t know if I’m freaking out more because Ten just called JiHo his baby or because she called her very pretty so casually? Also thanks for the warning Ten, but I’m already madly in love with JiHo so... a bit too late for that.

[Idol Crushes? | HDIGH Ep. #xx Highlight]

“Weren’t you promoting (’Revolution’) recently?” Jae (Day6) asked AleXa who was sat next to him. She hummed. “Actually it was around the same time that NCT was promoting their music.” “Oh did you talk to them?” AleXa shook her head whilst laughing but then stopped suddenly as if she remembered something.

“She wasn’t promoting with them at the time, but I saw JiHo sunbaenim backstage.” This comment perked up Jae’s interest as he sat up in his chair. “Did you introduce yourself?” “Yeah she actually noticed me first and came to say hi.”

Diane, who was the person behind the camera gasped loudly. “Why haven’t you told us about this?! She knows you?” The small girl nodded embarrassed and then explained what happened on that day.

“She’s super nice and complimented my music and dancing. I didn’t think I’d ever been at such a loss for words as back then. I got so nervous because even though she’s really nice, she has such a strong presence? If you know what I mean?” Jae and Diane hum in understanding. “Just seeing her up close like that was so intimidating. Like she told me she was there to support her members so she didn’t have any makeup on, but she was still insanely beautiful.” Jae laughed at the girl’s dramatic explanation. “You sound like you have a crush on her.” AleXa stuttered for a second before replying. “I think I might!” They all laughed.

“Did you exchange phone numbers?” Diane asked and AleXa nodded excitedly. “We did! We don’t text each other often, but every once in a while she reaches out after a new podcast episode comes out to tell me about the parts she liked.” “Oh so she watches this?” Jae’s eyes widened. “Yeah.”

AleXa turned to the camera and waved. “JiHo sunbaenim, if you are watching this, thank you so much! I hope we can get closer someday.”

I don’t know AleXa that well, but I think a collab between her and JiHo would be so powerful!

Thanks for watching this video guys! And leave a comment on what kind of content you want to see next, byeeee o/

#jiho.video #nct 24th member #nct addition #nct imagines #nct scenarios #nct female member #nct extra member #nct additional member #nct fluff #kpop!addition #kpop!oc

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