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two-gays-in-a-trenchcoat · 2 years

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turtle boy || gyutaro x pretty! reader

Gender neutral reader, 9.4k, modern high school au, slow burn, angst with a happy ending, tooth-rotting fluff, reader is described as pretty/attractive, gyutaro is a nerdy delinquent, daki is a Mean Girl™, enemies to friends (daki), strangers to best friend’s brother to lovers (gyutaro)

Warnings: excessive cursing because teenagers, mentions of abuse and neglect, self-hatred on gyutaro’s part, sibling fights, VERY brief mention of suicide, daki is a bitch at the beginning but she gets better i swear

Notes: I took inspiration both from the Kimetsu Academy Tales’ take on modern high schoolers Gyutaro and Daki and from my own ideas and headcanons. I took a lot of liberties, especially with some of the other demon characters (like the fact that I made Douma the pretty popular boy that everyone simps over) and their personal interests (daki is a cheerleader and gyutaro had a wild kratts phase. I will die on this hill). I also switch between using Daki/Ume throughout the fic depending on whose POV is mainly in the scene, but mostly I refer to her as Daki.

Daki had been more than a little vocal about her not wanting to go to her junior orientation, but Gyutaro, being the responsible older brother that he is, hauled her there at 9 am anyways. Whenever she’d begin whining and hitting his back from where she sat on the motorcycle behind him, complaining about how badly she didn’t want to go, he’d just twist the throttle and drown out her voice.

She was still complaining by the time he pulled into the school’s parking lot, groaning and moaning in an efort to be as annoying as possible as he undid the straps to her helmet and stuck it into the back compartment of his bike.

“I don’t want to gooooo,” she said, and he wouldn’t put it past her to throw a temper tantrum.

“You’re going,” he said. “I missed my junior orientation, and I was totally lost when school started.”

She furrowed her brows. “Yeah, but you dropped out, so why would that matter?”

He grit his teeth. Dropout. He never liked calling himself that, the words leaving a bitter taste on his tongue, but to be fair, that’s what he was. A high school dropout.

“It matters because you’re not going to drop out,” he said, giving her a stern glare. She stuck her tongue out at him. Childish. “Watch me.”

“If you do, I’ll kick your ass.”

“And I’ll call child protective services.”

He groaned. “Jesus, just go to the orientation, will you?”

“Fiiiine,” she drawled, beginning to prattle on about how it’s totally useless anyways. But Gyutaro tuned her out when he spotted what had to be the most gorgeous person he’d ever seen from across the campus.

You walked calmly, holding an air of confidence that Gyutaro could never have had himself. You were hypnotizing; he couldn’t bring himself to look away. You glanced over your shoulder, and briely, your eyes met. Gyutaro’s heart skipped a beat.

“Oi, brother, stop staring.” Daki snapped him out of his stupor with a smack to the back of his head. “You look like a perv.”

“Do not,” he grumbled. “They’re just... attractive, y’know? S’not weird.”

“Who are you even looking at?” She asked, and Gyutaro nodded his head in your direction. Her eyes widened for a split second upon taking in your appearance, before pulling her face into a scowl. “They’re okay, I guess. I’m still prettier.”

Gyutaro looked between you and Daki. “I dunno, they’re giving you a run for your money.”

She smacked him on his head again, and he snickered. “Who even is that kid, anyways?” he asked, glancing in your direction once more.

“I don’t know. Never seen ‘em before.” Daki shrugged. “By the looks of it, they’re probably in my year.”

Gyutaro’s interest notably piqued at this, and Daki glared at him. “Fucking perv.”

“Am not,” he argued, buckling back on his helmet and lipping of the kickstand ater Daki had dismounted. “Now go. Be good. You’d better not get into trouble before school even starts.”

He twisted the throttle and zoomed out of the parking lot. Over his shoulder, he could see the vague outline of Daki giving him the finger as he rode of.

As he rode back to his apartment, he couldn’t keep his thoughts from wandering to you. You, with your pretty face and confident walk and... No, he was getting ahead of himself. You’re miles out of his league, and the quicker he can get that in his head, the happier everyone will end up being.

Still, a little voice in his head told him, a guy can dream, right?

“Turtles, turtles, turtles.... where’s the part about turtles...,” you muttered to yourself, lipping through the pages of the hety encyclopedia you’d pulled from the library shelf. You sat down at one of the lone tables in the public library, pulling your notebook and pencils from your bag. All for a biology presentation you totally hadn’t waited to do until the last minute.

Unbeknownst to you, Gyutaro was watching you from across the room. He was wide-eyed and staring, like a deer caught in the headlights and unable to blink or move away.

It was you. at stupidly pretty person he’d spotted from across the courtyard when he want to drop of Daki two weeks ago. The one he couldn’t stop thinking about (in a totally-not-weird-way), the one who he really didn’t expect to run into when he was going to return the books he’d borrowed the previous week. In the back of his mind, he’d hoped he might run into you again, and that next time he did, maybe he would be able to stop himself from staring at you like a creep

Yeah, that didn’t work out well.

Without thinking, his feet began to carry himself over to you. Not close enough to be weird, just.... to get a better view, that’s all. Yeah. Totally not creepy.

You gave a little “Aha!” sound as you lipped to a page of a large photograph of a green, stubby shelled animal. “Finally, I was starting to think this book didn’t even have turtles,”

“That’s not a turtle.” the words slipped out of Gyutaro’s mouth before he could stop them, and at once he slapped his hands over his mouth in horror.

You looked up at him, and he wanted to do nothing more than run away and hide in some dark, dank corner where he belongs. He hadn’t meant for you to see him—he was used to people cringing away at his monstrous appearance, and he knew it’d hurt even more if you did it.

Your eyes widened for a split second, and then... You cocked your head. No cringing, no grimace, you were almost looking at him like he was normal.

“What do you mean it’s not a turtle?” You asked.

God, he wanted to run away so bad. But he steeled himself in place and grit his teeth; he dug this hole for himself, and now he has to follow through. In for a penny, in for a pound, as they say.

“That’s Testudo kleinmanni,” he said, trying with all his might to keep his voice from cracking. “Or, more commonly called the Egyptian tortoise. I-it’s technically a turtle, since it’s in the order Testudines, but for sake of specificity, it’d be better described as a tortoise.” He couldn’t stop himself, now; the words came tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them. Awkwardly, he leaned down to point at the picture. “See how its shell is more concave and juts upwards? at’s a tortoise’s distinction, since turtle shells are more flat and smooth. Also, tortoises are exclusively terrestrial animals, while turtles are semi-aquatic.”

Well, shit. Whatever sliver of a chance he thought he might’ve had with you just disappeared into thin air, all because he couldn’t keep his nerdy, know-it-all mouth shut. He fucked up, and he knew it—if it wasn’t for the fact that he wanted to maintain a shred of dignity, he definitely would have hightailed it out of the library in a second.

“Huh,” you said, looking at the picture. He was waiting for you to slap him, curse him out—any number of things that he probably deserved for not being able to keep his smartass thoughts to himself. “That’s really interesting, actually. I didn’t know that.”

...What.

“Do you think you could find the section on turtles?” You continued, offering him the encyclopedia. “The aquatic ones, I mean. I swear, I’ve been going through this for half an hour, but still, nothing.”

“Um.” You can’t be serious. Not only are you not upset, but you’re asking him to talk more? “Yeah. Sure.”

Against his better judgment, he took the seat next to you, scooting as close to the opposite edge as possible so as to not accidentally touch you. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do then.

“You checked the index, right?” He asked, taking the book from your hands and lipping to the back.

“...I did not.” You rubbed the back of your head sheepishly. “Wow, and here I thought I couldn’t look any more stupid, huh?”

Gyutaro cracked a smile. What gods took favor in you and gited you good looks and a sense of humor? It felt unreal.

He got to the T section of the index and pointed. “Here. Testudine, order. at’s the order that all turtles are in. It looks like you were looking at family Testudinidae, so if we backtrack and look at family Cheloniidae instead...” He flipped back to the section you were in, then a little further before. He stopped at a picture of a green sea turtle. “Voila. Sea turtles. These were more on the lines of what you were looking for, yeah?”

You were staring at him, wide eyed, and he swallowed. Had he fucked up again?

“Wow. I didn’t understand half of what you were saying, but either way, thanks.” You smiled at him then, and he felt his face heat up like a copper pan on a gas stove. “This is exactly what I was trying to find.”

“N-no problem,” he replied, internally cursing himself for his awkwardness. Every bit of his instinct told him to run away before he could ruin whatever the hell this was.

You cocked your head at him. “I feel like I’ve seen you before... What was your name, again?”

This time his instincts won out. He shot up from his chair and bolted out of the library, not slowing down until he was a block away to where he’d parked his motorcycle. He held his head in his hands and groaned, cursing himself.

Hopefully, you’d forget him easily enough, and if all goes well, you’ll never see each other again.

That was what he wanted to hope for, anyways. There was still this ache in his gut that urged him to go back, apologize for being so weird and awkward, and introduce himself.

Yeah. Like hell he will.

When Daki came home ater school, she slammed the door so hard that the whole house shook from its force. Gyutaro jumped and looked over from where he was perched on the couch, watching anime. When he saw her, he realized she was nothing short of fuming.

“That bitch!” She shrieked, kicking of her shoes and stomping over to him. She braced her hands on the edge of the couch, looking down at him. “That boy-stealing, cock-sucking bitch!”

“Those are some, uh, interesting choice words you got there,” he said. “What happened?

She huffed, and hopped over the side of the couch to plop down next to him. “This bitch is trying to steal Douma!”

Gyutaro blinked. “Douma as in pretty-boy-Douma? And what do you mean, steal him?”

“From me!” She said, pointing to her chest. “is was finally gonna be my year to get with him, and that bitch fucking ruined it!”

He blinked. “Since when do you have a thing for Douma?” He asked, thoroughly confused.

“Since, like, forever,” she said. “Don’t you remember?”

Gyutaro definitely didn’t remember, but for the sake of pleasing his sister, he nodded along like he knew what she was talking about. Daki groaned, and yanked the pillow out from behind her so she could bury her face into it. Gyutaro sighed. Sure, his sister was always prone to the dramatics, but she was still upset, so it was his duty to help her out.

“Alright, who is it?” He asked. “Do you need me to beat ‘em up?”

She sniffed, looking up from behind the pillow. “Please?”

“Sure thing,” he smiled sotly. “Now, who is it?”

“The new kid,” she said. “The one you were staring at the other day, remember?”

Gyutaro freezed. “...You’re sure it’s them?”

She nodded frantically, eyes burning. “Positive. I saw them flirting with Douma with my own eyes!”

His gut clenched. He wasn’t sure what he hated more; the fact that his sister now apparently hated you, or the fact that you were most-likely taken. Either way, it made his chest hurt, and he didn’t like it.

“Maybe it’s just a misunderstanding,” Gyutaro reasoned, trying to hide the nervousness in his voice so as not to give himself away. “They looked, uh, nice, I thought.”

“Nice?” She scoffed. “Gyu, don’t give me that shit. They’re just a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you know it.”

No. He didn’t know it. And he really, really didn’t want to believe her. You’d seemed so sweet when he met you at the library, this just doesn’t make any sense.

Gyutaro was at a crossroads. He had to choose between believing in the goodness of a person he’s met, or take his sister’s word that they’re nothing like they seem. They both seemed wrong and right at the same time.

In the end, like he always had, he chose his sister.

“That sounds horrible,” Gyu said.

Daki cocked her head. “Well, are you gonna beat them up or what?”

He hesitated. “I didn’t mean that literally, Ume. My delinquent days are behind me. I’ve had enough scrapes with the law as it is.”

She groaned, tossing her head back and getting up. “Fine. Be that way. Don’t help me,” she retorted as she stormed upstairs to her room.

Gyutaro massaged the bridge of his nose. He was bound to be in the wrong either way, huh?

For the next two weeks, all he heard from Daki was the sins of this ‘new kid’ that she’d grown to hate even more with every passing day. Did he like listening to it? Not really, but he had to be a supportive older brother.

When Daki came home that aternoon, she burst through the door, making Gyutaro glance up from the instant ramen he was eating. She had a wild grin on her face.

“Brother!” She exclaimed. “You’ll never guess what happened!”

He finished slurping up a bite of noodles and swallowed. “Did it have to do with the new kid?”

“Well, duh, it had to do with the new kid,” she said, tossing her book bag on the table and sitting down across from him. “But this time was different.”

Gyutaro leaned forward and set his chin on his hand, vaguely bored as Daki started her story.

“Okay, so it all started at lunch, right?” She said. “I was shit talking the new kid to all my friends-“

“As per usual.”

Daki shot him a glare. “Let me finish. I was shit talking the new kid and they overheard me, right as I was talking about how they were a boy-stealing, bitch-faced slut. And, like, if I was them, I totally would’ve squared up, right there. But they didn’t say shit! They just kinda looked at me with this hurt expression-“

“Well yeah, you were literally shit talking them.”

She huffed. “As I was saying, they looked all hurt and stuf, and walked away like some hurt puppy or some shit. But I totally didn’t feel bad. I mean, I’m the victim here!” Gyutaro wordlessly nodded his head and hummed, trying not to roll his eyes.

“But. But!” She leaned forward, grinning with her eyes alight. “Later, I was walking through the halls and overheard them talking with Douma. Not just talking, oh no—they were straight up rejecting him!”

This made Gyutaro’s ears perk up. “Oh?”

“Right?!” She exclaimed. “They said something about, like, him not being their type or whatever, so they should just stay friends. A stone-cold-bitch move, if you ask me.”

Gyutaro didn’t know if he should be relieved or disappointed by this information. On one hand, he was relieved that you didn’t have feelings for Douma, or anyone as far as he knew. But on the other hand, if a guy as good-looking as Douma wasn’t good enough for you, there was no way he had even a sliver of chance.

Daki noticed Gyutaro’s focus had started to wander, and she snapped her fingers to get his attention. “Hey! I haven’t even gotten to the best part yet.”

Gyutaro reclined back in his chair, cocking his head with interest even though the pang in his heart was nearly unbearable. “Which would be...?”

“After they totally let him in the dust all sad and heartbroken,” the pang in Gyutaro’s heart twisted, “Guess who gave him a shoulder to cry on?”

“Hm... Let me think...” He tapped his chin. “Was it you?”

“It was me!” She all but shrieked, and proceeded to run and throw herself onto the couch, stufing a pillow in her face and screaming with her legs kicking back and forth in the air. “Oh my god, it was me! It was so romantic, too! Like, right out of a movie kind of romantic! And oh my god, Gyu, you will not believe how good he smells-“

Gyutaro tuned out his sister’s rambling about how perfect Douma was, setting out to finish his now-cold ramen and try his best to look apathetic.

When Daki’s screams had died down enough for her to talk, she poked her head up, and looked at her brother, still grinning. “Oh, also, the new kid? They’re coming over tomorrow.”

Gyutaro nearly choked on his noodles.

“They’re what?” He coughed, wiping at the noodle splatters on his mouth.

“Coming over tomorrow.” Daki got up and skipped over to where he sat. “Since it’s a Friday, they might stay the night, too.”

“Stay the night?!”

She nodded eagerly. “Yup! Ater that whole thing in the hallway, I went up to them to apologize for all the shit-talking I did. I mean, they totally did me a solid with that little stunt! And then we kept talking, and it turns out we have, like, a ton in common. So now we’re besties!”

Gyutaro’s heart was pounding as he tried to wrap his head around all of this. She’d hated your guts just the day before. Was she really able to change her tune this quickly? And you were okay with that, enough so to come over to their apartment after being friends for a day?

Oh, shit, he thought, dread washing over him at this realization. You were going to come to their apartment. His apartment, technically, as he paid the rent, but that only makes it worse. You’ll see how broken his family is, the shithole of a house they live in, just how useless of a parent figure he is. All of the things that he’d tried so hard to bury away since he got to high school. He looked around, and the dread only mounted more; this place was ugly, falling apart, filthy-

He stood up suddenly. Filthy. He couldn’t help how poorly-made the apartment was, but he could control how clean it was.

“Brother?” Daki asked as he began to walk away. “Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna clean,” he replied. “If your friend’s coming over, I at least don’t want our place to look like a shithole.”

Daki frowned. “But it is a shithole.”

“Not for long,” he answered, beginning to pull various cleaning supplies out of the closet. “Not if I can help it.”

Gyutaro bounced his leg. He twiddled with his fingers, anxiously glancing at the clock every few seconds. He was sweaty. His heart kept pounding like he was running a marathon, no matter how hard he tried to calm it down.

His manager had let him leave early (thank god she pitied his poor little life) so he’d be home before you got there. He wanted to make sure nothing was out of place—first impressions were everything

4:56 PM. Four minutes until you arrived.

Daki took a crunching bite out of her apple, looking at her brother quizzically from where she stood in the kitchen. “You good, brother? I know you’re not good around people, but it’s just one person. They’ll only see you for a second, anyway.”

“I’m fine,” he said, sounding harsher than he meant to. He took a deep breath, and tried again with a softer tone. “I’m fine. Really.”

She shrugged. “Whatever you say, bro.”

He checked the clock. 4:57. Three minutes until you arrived.

The doorbell rang.

Fuck, you were here early!

Daki took one last bite out of her apple, quickly chewing and swallowing before skipping over to the door and opening it with a cheery “Hi!”

He heard you greet her and come inside, closing the door behind you. He didn’t look up. He didn’t know if he could. Maybe if he sat still long enough, you wouldn’t notice him. Or at least not try to talk to him.

“Wow,” he heard you say. “Your place is... really clean. Like, super clean.” Gyutaro’s heart swelled a bit. His hours of work weren’t for nothing ater all.

“Yup!” Daki nodded. “That’s all my older brother’s doing. He was nervous about having a guest, so he power-washed this place from top to bottom.”

Dammit Ume! is This not the time! He thought furiously to himself, heart beating even faster. As much as he adored her having pride in him, he wanted nothing more than to disappear. As long as they don’t notice me, he thought, I should be fine-

“He’s right here!” Daki chirped, louncing over to the couch and tapping his shoulder. “Oi, brother, say hi!”

God fucking dammit, Ume.

Begrudgingly, he turned his head around, ofering a smile that he hoped didn’t look too much like a grimace. Maybe you don’t remember him...?

Upon seeing him, your eyes lit up with recognition. “Oh my god, Daki, you didn’t tell me your brother was Turtle Boy!”

Fuck.

Daki raised a brow. “Huh? Turtle Boy?”

You nodded, now excited. “Yeah! We ran into each other last week at the library, and he helped me research for a biology project, because apparently I know nothing about turtles.”

This is just getting worse by the minute, Gyutaro thought.

Daki barked out a laugh and covered her mouth. “Oh my god, do not get me started on this one and turtles. Throughout all of middle school the only thing he wanted was a pet turtle. Like, he was obsessed with them. He had posters, books, bedsheets...” she turned to him. “You probably still have all your Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle DVDs, right?”

At that moment, it occurred to Gyutaro that curling up in a hole and passing away sounded like a wonderful idea.

You giggled. It was music to Gyutaro’s ears. “Yeah, that definitely explains a lot,” you said. You turned to him. “Are you looking to study them in college? Turtles, I mean. I think you’d make a great biologist.”

Daki burst out laughing. “College?” She wheezed. “Dude, my brother’s a high school dropout. It’d be a miracle and a half if he went to college.”

Gyutaro’s ears burned and he felt himself shrinking in on himself. Daki just couldn’t keep her big mouth shut, could she? He fixed his eyes on the ground, not daring to look up and see what kind of horribly pitiful expression you were looking at him with.

Daki’s laughter died down, and she gestured for you to follow her. “C’mon, let me show you around.” For once, Gyutaro was grateful his sister couldn’t stay on one topic for the life of her. You nodded, and followed as Daki led you down the hall to her room.

As soon as you were out of earshot, Gyutaro let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and slumped into the couch.

So much for first impressions.

The evening went by quickly, and soon it was dark. After you and Daki had finished watching your movie, she pranced out to the kitchen with you in tow. Gyutaro hadn’t moved from where he sat on the couch, aimlessly scrolling through Netflix shows that looked interesting but he knew he was never going to watch.

“So,” Daki munched on a chip from the bag in her hand. “D’you wanna start getting ready for bed soon?”

You gave her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, I can’t stay the night. I have to get up early for work tomorrow.” You checked the time on your phone. “My ride’s gonna come by soon, actually.”

Gyutaro couldn’t tell if he was relieved or disappointed. Sure, if you stayed over he probably wouldn’t be able to get a wink of sleep, but in a way, he was kind of looking forward to it.

Daki huffed, pufing her cheeks out and pouting. “Aw, man! That’s no fun.”

“I know, sorry,” you said sheepishly. “We could do this again sometime, though.”

At once her expression shited into one of excitement. “Yes! And we’ll actually have a sleepover this time.”

Daki’s phone rang. She set her chips on the counter and pulled the buzzing device out of her pocket, confused, but her eyes widened as she saw who was calling her.

“Eep! It’s Douma! I’ve gotta take it, I’ll be just a few minutes!”

You nodded in understanding, and she all but ran into the other room. Vaguely, you could hear her cheery ‘Hey, Douma! What’s up?’ from down the hall as she answered.

It was quiet. Almost uncomfortably so. With the way the room was laid out, the back of the couch faced the kitchen, so Gyutaro knew the most you could see of him was the back of his head. It put him a little bit at ease, and half of him hoped you’d ignore him until Daki got off the phone. He didn’t know how much more he could take of the intense heat of your gaze.

He jumped when you sat down on the couch next to him.

“Sorry,” you said, giving him another one of those apologetic smiles. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“S’fine,” he said, unable to meet your eye. He continued scrolling through Netflix, going up to his ‘recently watched.’

You pointed at the screen. “You watch the Blue Planet?” You chuckled to yourself. “Well, I suppose I’m not exactly surprised.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’ve, uh, finished it, actually...”

You giggled and Gyutaro internally kicked himself. Did he want you to see him as an even bigger loser than you already did?

You seemed to notice his lushed cheeks, and tilted your head. “Hey, it’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s a good show.”

“Yeah,” he said, and that was all he could say. He didn’t want to open his mouth and make a fool of himself again.

It was silent for a while. And then; “Why’d you drop out?”

The sudden question made Gyutaro freeze up, and he slowly turned to look at you. Upon seeing his expression, you offered a sheepish smile and looked down.

“Sorry, that was pretty intrusive,” you said, scratching the back of your head. “You can forget I asked.”

“It’s fine,” Gyutaro answered almost too quickly, desperate to stay in conversation with you to avoid the awkward silence from before. “It’s not a big deal. A part-time job just wasn’t making enough to take care of my sister and I. That’s all there is to it.”

“Oh.” You were quiet for a moment, chewing the inside of your mouth. “...So you two have been on your own for a while now, huh?”

He shrugged. “More or less. I got emancipated as soon as I turned 16, and took Ume with me, so it’s been about... two years now?”

“That’s... a long time,” you said. Gyutaro grit his teeth; he could feel it, you were starting to pity him. “So for the past two years, you’ve done... all of this?” you gestured around you.

Gyutaro chuckled halfheartedly. “Yeah. Pretty sad, right?”

“No,” you replied immediately, which made him raise his brows. “I think it’s amazing.”

His heart leapt to his throat and for a moment, Gyutaro forgot how to breathe. He was about to say something when Daki came prancing back into the room.

“Sorry to keep you so long,” she said, pocketing her phone. She looked at you. “Is your ride here, yet?

You shook your head and pulled out your phone, opening your messages. “No, not yet. I haven’t... Oh, well shit.”

“What’s wrong?” she asked, going up to you and peering over your shoulder.

“My ride home,” you grumbled, “can’t make it. Car trouble, or something like that.”

Daki’s brow furrowed. “Shit, what are you gonna do? Should we call you an Uber, or something?”

“Nah, too expensive,” you said. “I can probably just walk. It’s only a mile or so.”

“No way!” Daki exclaimed. “I am not letting you walk home alone in the dark.”

You waved her of. “I’ll be fine.”

“Absolutely not,” she stated. Her eyes then suddenly lit up with a new idea. “Wait, why don’t we just have Gyutaro take you home?”

Gyutaro tensed at the sound of his name, a jolt of sudden fear shooting up his spine. You continued to wave her of. “No, I couldn’t. I’ll be fine, really.”

She huffed, crossing her arms and turning to her brother. “C’mon, Gyu, you’ll take them home, right?”

“Sure,” he said, hoping his face wasn’t too obviously red. “You can, uh, borrow Ume’s helmet, I guess.”

“Brother only has a motorcycle,” Daki explained as you nodded along. “He’s a really good driver, though, so don’t be worried!”

You smiled sotly. “I’m not.”

Gyutaro’s heart swelled. Awkwardly, he stood up, and gestured to the door. “Are we gonna head out now, or...?”

You nodded, and the two siblings made quick work of getting you set up. Soon enough, you were strapping on Daki’s bright pink helmet and straddling the back seat of the rumbling motorcycle.

Gyutaro looked back at you, the visor to his full-face helmet lipped up and voice slightly muted. “You ready?”

You gave him a thumbs up, and he flipped his visor back down before launching the bike forward.

“Bye-bye!” Daki shouted from the porch as you sped of.

Your arms had been at your side, but after the sudden movement, you instinctively pressed forward to wrap your arms around Gyutaro’s waist and hold tight. His waist was incredibly small, you noted—even with your arms around him you could grab onto each of your elbows if you so desire. You could also clearly feel the back of his spine and ribs as they pressed into your chest.

Gyutaro, as self-conscious as he was, was hyper-aware of how close you were, how there was no hiding his scrawny little body beneath clothes from you anymore. His neck heated up with embarrassment, and he sped up a bit in an effort to distract himself.

Clueless to his distressed inner being, you decided to be bold and experiment a little, and pulled in closer. This had gone beyond simply holding onto him for support—you wanted to know what it felt like to really hold him.

And to your surprise, it felt good.

The drive must have only lasted a few minutes, but it felt even shorter than that to you with how quickly you found yourself having to pull yourself of of Gyutaro and hop of the motorcycle. He shut the bike of, and nodded his head towards the house.

“This you?” He asked, to which you nodded. He put up the kickstand and hopped of, holding out his hand. You took of your helmet and passed it to him, and he tucked it into the bike’s back compartment.

“Thanks,” you said. “I really appreciate it.” He shrugged. “It’s not a problem.”

“Well... goodnight,” you said, turning on your heel to head to your door. Ater a few steps, you stopped, whipping back around. “Wait, before I forget!”

He cocked his head. You rushed back up to him, holding out the glowing screen of your phone. He was still confused.

“Y’know, just to keep in contact,” you said, and then it clicked. You wanted his number.

Why the fuck would you want his number?

“Uh,” he wasn’t sure what to do; this had never happened before. “Sure.”

Hesitantly, as if you were about to yank it away any second, he took your phone and typed in his number. Gyutaro was incredibly glad that the visor to his full-face helmet was down—otherwise you’d surely see his sweaty, beet-red face.

“What should I put my contact as?” he asked.

“How about... Turtle Boy?” You grinned. The heat in Gyutaro’s face rose even further.

He handed you back your phone, and you bid each other goodnight. During his ride home, he couldn’t stop thinking about how you weren’t repulsed by his appearance, or judgemental of his financial situation, or pitying his home life. For Gyutaro, this very well might have been a first.

You just treated him normally. It was one of the best feelings he’s ever had.

Gyutaro was on break at work, scrolling through his phone, when it suddenly buzzed with a message alert. He tapped on it, and his heart sped up just the tiniest bit when he saw it was from you.

New Kid: hey hey gyu

New Kid: are you free tonight?

He was confused. at was the kind of question you ask someone if you want to spend time with them. Surely that couldn’t be what you’d meant. He switly texted back.

Turtle Boy: Yeah, why?

New Kid: well i was gonna see that new psychological horror movie with daki, but she ditched me for douma >:(

Gyutaro’s brow furrowed.

Turtle Boy: And what does this have to do with me?

New Kid: i’m asking if you wanna come see it with me instead, stupid

New Kid: i really wanna see it but i’ll look like a total loser if i go alone

Gyutaro’s heart pounded. You were asking him out. Well, no, not ‘asking him out’ in the allusion sense of the phrase, but you were asking if he wanted to go out somewhere. With you. It wasn’t a date. But, well, it wasn’t quite not a date, either.

He shook his head. He couldn’t get himself too caught up in overthinking it, so he went ahead and texted back.

Turtle Boy: Sure, that sounds fun

Shit, did that sound casual enough?

Turtle Boy: How much are the tickets?

New Kid: oh don’t worry about that, i’ll cover you!!

New Kid: you’re basically saving me soooo

His eyes widened. You were... paying for him? Why are you paying for him? That’s the kind of thing you’d do if you were, well... taking someone on a date.

He shook his head, remembering the last time you’d been at his apartment. You’d heard his financial situation loud and clear; you were just pitying him. You probably offered to pay because you didn’t think he could himself.

An ugly knot twisted in his stomach at the thought, and without thinking it through, typed out a reply.

Turtle Boy: Actually, I think I might stay in tonight. I want to make sure my sister’s home in time.

New Kid: oh okay!! we can always do it sometime else

Gyutaro felt like throwing his phone across the room. Had he seriously just lied to reject an invitation to the movies—something he had quite literally never received before—from you, the only person he’d actually ever want to see a movie with. He smacked his hand on his face. He felt like the biggest idiot in the world.

‘Sometime else...,’ you had said. So maybe Gyutaro didn’t totally sink the ship. Maybe there really would be another time when you’d want to go to the movies with him. Alone.

He stuffed his phone in his pocket, knowing damn well that if an opportunity like this ever did arise again, he’d just fuck it up, like he always seemed to do.

“I can’t fucking believe you!” Daki shouted, seething with rage. “It’s Friday night, why can’t I go to Enmu’s party?!”

“Because Enmu’s a perverted douchebag, that’s why,” Gyutaro spat. “You’re not going, end of discussion.”

“You’re not the boss of me!”

Gyutaro’s eyes narrowed. “Actually, I am. I’m your legal guardian, actually, so yeah, I am the boss of you.”

She groaned in exasperation, clutching her face. “You’re not being fair!”

“How is it unfair that I don’t want you out at night when a bunch of good-for-nothing teenagers are out on the streets, drowning themselves in cheap tequila?”

“‘Good-for-nothing?’ Hah! You’re one to talk,” She said. “Just because you’re jealous that you never get invited to anywhere because you’re such a weird fucking freak doesn’t mean you get to take it out on me!”

Gyutaro stood up. “Watch it, Ume.”

“My name is Daki!” She screeched. “Can’t you get that through your thick fucking skull?! It’s not my fault that you’re so socially inept you can hardly handle any kind of interaction. Hell, even watching you say hi to (Name) is painful!”

“Don’t bring them into this,” he growled.

“What? Upset that I found out about your little crush?” She taunted. “God, you’re so obvious it hurts. Like you’ll ever have a chance with them. And you know what?” She suddenly got this evil little glint in her eye that made Gyutaro’s gut fill with dread. “I’m gonna do you a favor and tell them right now.”

She shot up the stairs to her room, and Gyutaro stared, shellshocked, before tripping over himself to race after her.

“Ume, don’t you fucking dare!” He shouted up the stairs as he chased her. “Ume! I’m serious!”

“And I’m Daki!”

He was out of breath, ravaged from his sudden burst of energy by the time he stopped at her door, watching and gasping in horror as she dangled her phone in her hands, grinning mockingly.

“Ume,” Gyutaro said, voice low and even. “Put the phone down.”

“Hm... How about... no?” She chirped, before pressing a button on the screen, the action followed by the telltale sound of a text message being delivered.

“You bitch!” Gyutaro had all but lost it at this point, seeing nothing but red. He snatched the phone from her hands and sent it clattering down the hall, screen shattering instantly. Daki let out a little yelp in surprise. “Why would you do this? Why the fuck would you do this to me?! I gave you everything. I dropped out of school so I could take care of you. I work overtime every other week to pay for your meals and your stupid fancy fucking clothes that you’re so hellbent on getting. I don’t have friends. I don’t have a fucking life because of you. And you’re still set on ruining the one thing that I actually had a chance with? The one time I get to be a normal fucking teenager and not a surrogate parent?”

Daki’s face was pale and her eyes were wide with fear, and quickly welling with tears. “Brother, I-”

“Don’t you think I know?” He shouted. “Don’t you think I know I don’t have a chance with them? That I never did? I know I’m ugly. I know I’m a fucking loser. But they never-” his voice broke suddenly, and he fell to his knees with a heavy thud. “...they never made me feel that way.”

His throat hurt as he tried to speak, tears spilling over when he screwed his eyes shut. “I don’t care if they’d never even think about dating me. Being their friend was enough. They made me happy. And now it’s gone, there’s no way they’ll ever look at me the same. People like me aren’t meant to find love, but-” he bit back a sob, choking. “...But I think I got pretty damn close.”

He wiped at the tears and snot his face, not caring that he was crying like a newborn baby. Hesitantly, Daki crouched down, her own mascara-tinted tears dripping down her chin. At once, she threw herself onto him and squeezed, almost knocking him over in the process.

“Brother, I’m sorry!” She sobbed. “I-I didn’t know you felt that way. I didn’t mean anything I said, I was just upset. I didn’t think... I didn’t think telling them would actually matter...” She buried her face in his chest. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry I make your life so dificult. I’ll stop buying clothes! I can stay in at night! Please, brother... please don’t hate me...”

The white-hot anger in Gyutaro’s chest had long fizzled out, and now he just felt cold, hollow, and so, so vulnerable. He put his hand up to the back of her head with a sad smile. “I don’t hate you, U- Daki. I don’t hate you. I was upset, too. I didn’t mean any of it. You’re not a burden. You can keep buying your clothes and going to your parties. You’re my pride and joy, my little sister. And this doesn’t change that.”

He gently petted her hair as she wept, clutching his shirt in her fist so tightly like it was a lifeline.

“I’m sorry,” she cried, voice weak. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know, little one,” he cooed, pressing a kiss to her head. “I know.” .

Daki wasn’t at school today.

That was the first thing you’d realized that morning when you’d gotten to school. Usually, Gyutaro took extra care to drop her of early, so she’d never even be a second late for her first class. Most of the time, she’d end up being late of her own volition, though. Oh, well. There’s only so much her older brother could do, you suppose.

Her older brother... Last night, you’d received an especially strange text from Daki. ‘fun fact, Gyutaro has a huge crush on you,’ she’d said, words that made your heart clench with giddiness.

Sure, you had an inkling that her brother harbored feelings for you; he was hardly subtle. Though his awkward demeanor and lack of subtlety only added to his charm, in your opinion. But still, it was nice to have confirmation before you made any real moves on him.

But when you’d replied to her, she didn’t respond. You’d assumed that she was busy snapchatting Douma, so you waited and checked again ater a half an hour. Still, nothing. So then you’d decided that you’d just confront her at school tomorrow morning and get the whole thing straightened out—and then she wasn’t there.

After your second period had ended and Daki still didn’t show up, you were getting a little worried, and decided to text her brother. Sure, there was a lot to be talked about between you and him, but right now, Daki was both of your priorities.

‘Hey, is Daki sick or smth?? She’s not at school and she hasn’t responded to me,’ you finished typing out the message and hit send.

Only to be greeted with a red exclamation mark and the words ‘not delivered.’

...Okay, weird. You didn’t have the best service in the classroom, but usually your texts still go through. You tried to send it again, and still, not delivered.

He wouldn’t block me, right? You thought nervously to yourself. Of course he wouldn’t; something as petty and cowardly as that was much too beneath him.

To test this theory, you sent a quick ‘hello’ text to Douma. You hadn’t texted in a while, but he and Daki were pretty much official now, so there’s really no harm.

You hit send, and the text immediately went through.

That motherfucker actually blocked me.

At this point, you were more than a little pissed. Daki wasn’t responding, Gyutaro fucking blocked you, all the while you were itching to profess your love once and for all. You really couldn’t catch a break, huh?

Ater school ended, you got in your car and made a beeline for the Shabanas’ apartment. is was getting settled one way or another, and if you had to break down their door to do it, then so be it.

You rang the doorbell and stepped back, crossing your arms as you stared intently at the door, waiting for it to open. It didn’t matter which of the siblings ended up answering—they were both gonna end up getting a piece of your mind either way.

It was Daki who answered. She cracked open the door, and her eyes widened when she saw you.

“H-hey-”

“Daki, what the hell?” You forced open the door to let yourself inside, and she stepped back, not trying to stop you. “Why aren’t you answering my texts? And what the actual fuck is up with Gyutaro?”

“My phone broke,” she answered, opting to leave out the part where it was Gyutaro who broke it. “My brother’s out getting me a new one.”

...Okay, that was valid. Your temper simmered down a little bit, but that still didn’t explain the other half of the problem.

“And what about Gyutaro? I haven’t heard a word from you guys all day, and-”

She cut you of mid-sentence with a cry of “Please don’t hurt my brother!”

You paused, your words dying on your tongue. “Daki, what-”

“He’s hurt enough already, and it’s all my fault,” she said, beginning to cry. “I don’t want him to hurt more.”

“Daki, what are you-”

“We had a fight, and I sent that text to get back at him, but I didn’t know how upset it’d make him!” She was rambling now, hiccuping on her explanation.

“Daki, please-”

“I don’t know if he could take it if you rejected him, he might actually kill himself, and I can’t live on my own,” she continued her mindless babbling. “So please, can we just pretend like none of this ever happened-”

“Daki, I’m in love with your brother.”

“-and go back to normal and my brother will be fine and,” she stopped suddenly, finally registering your words. She looked up at you, almost unbelieving. “You... You’re what?”

As heated as the moment was, you couldn’t suppress the giddy smile that split across your face at the confession. “I’m in love with your brother, Daki. I like him, too.”

She was silent for a moment, as if processing your words. en all at once, she pulled you into a tight, excited embrace, tears gone and replaced by pure elation.

“Why didn’t you say so?” She squealed. “Oh my god, brother’s gonna be so happy! He’s never dated anyone, did you know that? He hasn’t even had his first kiss yet. Oh my god, I can’t believe you actually like him.” She suddenly pulled away, hands still on your shoulders, staring at you intensely. “You’re not joking, right? No take-backsies?”

“I’m not joking,” you assured her, still grinning. “And I won’t be taking anything back.”

She squealed once more, clapping her hands together in delight. “Yay, you guys are gonna be so cute! When are you going to tell him?”

“Now, if I can help it,” you said. “Where is he?”

“At that electronics store downtown,” she replied, almost tripping over her words with how fast she was trying to get them out. “He left not too long ago, so if you hurry, you might be able to catch him.”

That was all the encouragement you needed to go running out the door and back to your car, Daki cheering you on as you sped out of her driveway, leaving skid marks in the asphalt.

The drive went by in a flash. All of a sudden, you found yourself outside of the electronics store. You pulled into the parking lot, and just then, you spotted Gyutaro walking out of the doors.

You put your car in park right there and jumped out. You didn’t care that you were halfway pulled in and taking up two parking spots; this was more important.

“Turtle boy!” You shouted from across the lot. He whipped his head around to look at you, stunned. You grinned, and bolted in his direction.

“Oh... Uh... it’s you...,” he mumbled as you skidded to a stop in front of him, out of breath and probably looking more than a little crazy.

“Why the fuck did you block me?” Okay, those definitely weren’t the words you’d meant to come out of your mouth, but it was a conversation starter nonetheless!

He stepped back a little, wide-eyed like some terrified cornered animal. “Uh, I-I-”

“More to the point, why didn’t you tell me?” You pushed forward, getting in his face as he tried to stumble away from you. At this point, you practically had him pinned against the wall. “I mean, I was gonna bring it up myself sooner or later, but did I really have to find out through Daki of all people?”

He opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water. He looked like he was about to burst into tears.

“...I’m sorry,” he croaked, voice raspy and just above a whisper. “I-it’s okay, though—I’ll leave you alone from now on. You’ll never have to see me again. I’m sorry.”

You blinked at him. Did he seriously think you were there to reject him? Had he not noticed the painfully obvious signs that you had a thing for him that you’d been giving since day one?

Ater you didn’t move or speak at his words, he shrunk and turned his face away, screwing his eyes shut. “...Please... I know already, just... You can leave now...”

“Gyutaro.” He visibly flinched at his name, and in that moment, you snapped.

You grabbed his jaw and wrenched his face forward, not waiting another moment before crashing your lips onto his. It was ugly, it was messy, and it kinda hurt a little bit, but still you pressed into the kiss, determined. You heard a sound of surprise escape from his throat.

When you pulled away with a quiet smack, he was looking at you as if you’d sprouted another head. Ater that burst of bravado, you ended up feeling a bit embarrassed.

“...Sorry,” you said, awkwardly patting his cheek. “I, uh, definitely should’ve asked first.”

“It’s fine,” he said quickly. “I didn’t... I didn’t mind it.”

“Oh. Good.”

It was silent. Uncomfortably so. You were both on the verge of saying something, but neither of you wanted to make the first move.

It ended up being Gyutaro who broke the silence. “Why did you...” He trailed of, couldn’t finish his words, but you knew what he was asking.

“I’m in love with you.” Welp, there it was. No coming back from this now. You’ve come this far making a fool out of yourself—parking like a drunkard, cornering him like some predator, giving him what you were sure was the worst possible first kiss he could’ve had—you might as well see it to the end.

You sucked in a breath. “I’m in love with you. And I wish I could say I’m embarrassed by putting it so bluntly, but I’m not. Honestly, I’ve run out of fucks to give.”

He cracked a smile at your last few words, albeit a hesitant one, but it disappeared just as quick. He still sort of looked like he was ready to cry.

“You’re lying” He whispered, eyes glassy and on the verge of actually crying. “You’ve gotta be.”

“Oh my god, Gyu, I’m not fucking lying!” You slumped your head forward in frustration, and he jumped. “I like you! I want to kiss your stupid little face and talk about turtles and- and do whatever else it is that makes you happy because I’m in love with you.”

Silence. And then, “...You’re being serious?”

“Yes, oh my god, I’m being serious,” you said, exasperated. “Why else would I do all this? I don’t go running across parking lots for just anyone.”

Silence again. He sniffed. You looked up, and saw that his tears had finally spilled over. But this time, he looked... happy. Genuinely happy.

He realized you were seeing him cry like a loser, and he turned away rubbing his eyes. “S-sorry, I just... this... this has never happened to me before. I didn’t think...”

“It’s okay,” you whispered, bringing your hand up to brush away some of his tears. It only made more spill out.

He gulped, and chewed on his bottom lip. “Can I...?”

You assumed he was asking if he could kiss you again, so you nodded, closing your eyes and tilting your head for his access. You were surprised to feel the solid weight of his head plop onto your shoulder, burying his face in the crook of your neck and inhaling shakily. When he breathed out, he tried hard to suppress his shudder.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, pulling him closer in and clutching his head. You could feel him smile against your shoulder.

“I’ve wanted to do this for so long,” he murmured. “I never thought it would actually happen.”

“Well, you thought wrong.” He gave a weak chuckle at your words.

“I guess I did,” he said. He pulled away. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

He looked down, suddenly shy. “Why... why me? I’m so ugly and weird a-and gross...”

“Hey,” you cut him of with a stern look. “None of that while I’m here. I like you for you. You’re smart and funny and so awkward in this cute way and... I could list things forever, really.”

“But,” he pressed, “I’m so ugly and you’re so—so not.”

“I mean, I won’t lie to you and tell you you’re conventionally attractive.”

Okay, ouch. at stung a little bit. But he supposed that your harsh bluntness was better than sugarcoating it or beating around the bush. You’ve been nothing if not honest all this time, and he truly appreciated it.

“But,” you continued, once again bringing your hand up to cup his cheek. “While that may be true, for some reason I can’t help thinking you might be the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Heat rushed up his neck and for a second, he felt as if he might faint. Were you trying to kill him? You were trying to kill him, weren’t you?

“So...,” he started, painfully awkward yet again. “Are we dating now or...?”

You snorted. “I’d fucking hope so.”

“Just checking...” he leaned down to nestle his head against your shoulder once more, taking a deep inhale.

The two of you stayed like that for a while. Standing in silence, holding each other like it was the last thing you’ll ever do. After a good while, though, you spoke up.

“You should probably get Daki her phone,” you said softly. “Knowing her, she’s probably having withdrawal symptoms by now.”

He snorted, but reluctantly pulled his head from the crook of your neck. “Probably. I should get going.” The look on his face told you that he wanted to do anything but.

“I can meet you there,” you said quickly. “At your apartment. You can take your bike and take my car. Is that okay?”

“Yes,” he answered just as quickly, then paused. “...You’re gonna be there?”

He sounded as if he didn’t believe you, like maybe this was some elaborate prank you were playing on him and you were going to stand him up just like he thought you should.

“I’ll be there. Promise. In fact,” you reached down to take the plastic bag that held Daki’s new phone from his hand. “I’ll take this. at way you know I’ll be there, at least to give it to Daki.”

“Okay.” He still looked doubtful, but your words made his face soten, just a little. “Okay.”

so i binged the new season of kny and was possessed to write this for gyutaro because he is the only boy ever

might make a lil epilogue if it’s well received enough

comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!!

#osapost #kny #demon slayer #kimetsu academy #kimetsu no yaiba #gyutaro #gyuutarou #kny gyutaro #kny gyuutaro #kny daki #fluff #angst with a happy ending #modern au #high school au #x reader #reader insert #gender neutral reader

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crashtestjeffy · 6 days

Text

Tuesday

We never got supper last night. Which was pretty depressing. My daughter managed to make some frozen fries and cheese. And I w ent without. Poverty and being disabled is evil.

Yesterday I got an appointment that could, if I can get the damn doctor to listen, begin making sense of all my health issues. I was talking to someone in the health profession (off the record) and they said "You have all these issues and the doctor is just treating them and not looking at the big picture. All of them are symptoms of a few issues and I think the most likely could be an autoimmune disorder". And I went home and read about the shit and thought 'Holy shit, that is everything I got' so...

If my doctor refuses to listen and at least allow me to allay my concerns I will ask to see another doctor. This has got to stop where I go in and the doctor writes a script and leaves after 8 minutes.

The weather is not predicted to be very good until Friday. So I cannot get a ride in on my bicycle. Incidentally whenever I unlock my bike and get going in my head the song "Bicycle Race" by Queen starts to play and I see many buxom women topless on bicycles in my head as was the clip they made of the song and the cover. A source of my early sexual awareness.

In my early sexual awareness I did learn that fat bottomed girls indeed do make the world go round.

I am at a loss at what to do about my daughter and her attitude toward attendance at school. She seems to view it as laissez faire. And will not listen to me about how her attendance now effects her habits and commitments later and it's a bad habit to create. It makes it more frustrating that she treats every silly 4 hour shift at her part-time job as sacred. And becomes quite emotional about missing one.

Ironically (or not) as a socialist and a fuck the system dude, I also have to fight against my internal dialogue that says that school is just the machine that programs kids to become drones in a workforce of obedient fodder for the bourgeoise. And that she should never consider the rules she is learning now as unbreakable if it means changing who you are and how you think about the system.

But I can't tell her that. The kid already skips way too much school...I would be giving her the keys to the candy store if I told her that right now.

I am struggling lately with how I turned out and how if I and followed the system I might have a much happier life. Even if everything about that nauseates me. But this was all triggered by a dream I had about a girl I was madly in like or crushing on in junior high. In the dream we met at some kind of reunion and fell in love and she held my hand and it was beautiful. When I woke up I looked her up on Facebook and she seems to have the perfect suburban life and is still very beautiful. Married with three kids and lots of photos of her on beaches taken from behind while she looks contemplative...as is the order of the IG gods. And cottage photos of her feet in a canoe as is the order of the Canadian IG gods.

But that's not my life. My life is a cramped apartment and struggle. Though I guess kids like me had a place. When we were in grade 9, a kid got kind of rude and aggressive with her so...I knocked out one of his teeth. Because I was a teenage dirtbag baby...Anyway, I got suspended for like two weeks (school was much more accepting of beating the shit out of each other back then) and my parents paid to have the tooth fixed, which they made me pay back from my job at the bowling alley. It was not nearly as noble as it sounds. I was still terrified to speak to her and she never even acknowledged me till two years later.

Life, it's what happens when you're making other plans.

I am fucking hungry. And broke for a few more days. If I was more agile I would lean on a skill I had back then as well...shoplifting. Dudes, I could walk out with half a store in my jacket and a fancy fuck you to the retail gods. That would be a dream right now. But in my current rickety state I would probably be caught and punched out by loss prevention whole some snot-nosed kid filmed it for TIk Tok.

Fuck my life. Please buy me lunch?

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justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms · 11 months

Note

Hallo, Covid here!!! Could you do general headcannons for Edward Elric and your favorite full metal alchemist characters?? I hope you’re doing well!!!

Hi Covid! Absolutely! I've never done general headcanons before so let's see how it goes! I've gone with five headcanons for each character; just let me know if you'd like some more (or some for different characters). Thank you for your request!

Ed (especially post time skip) enjoys making floral arrangements. He enjoys creating things without alchemy but when they don't turn out how he wants, they usually go flying out the window. Winry's seen a lot of flowers go that way.

Ed's really good at doing complex hairstyles. He's had a tone of practice with his own hair so learning new styles is easy for him. Mei learnt about this and always goes to Ed when she wants a new hairstyle.

A fan of horror movies (this is possibly more in a modern au). He is more of a fan of terrible b rated movies though. He unironically enjoys how tacky they are.

Ed has lots of small scars on his left hand from getting his skin pinched in his automail when he was still getting used to it as a kid. That's half the reason he started wearing gloves.

Has tried to wear platforms before. He thought they would make him taller but failed to consider how hard they are to walk and fight in. He nearly twisted an ankle before Al stepped in and forced him to take them off.

Al can't ride a bike. He was just barely at the right age to learn when the whole "human transmutation" thing happened and he couldn't learn to ride one while he was a suit of armour.

Has a really good singing voice. It just doesn't come across well in the armour. He likes humming to himself quietly when he's whiling away the long nights so his pitch is usually spot on after so much practice.

As much as Al likes cats, I see him as someone who would own a dog post-series. It suits his lifestyle and is good company without being too high maintenance (I tried to keep this as spoiler-free as possible).

Surprisingly dexterous with his hands. You wouldn't think so with him being a suit of armour for so long but he's nimble enough that he could easily pick up knitting if he wanted to.

Reads a lot of fiction novels. They're a good break from all the academic reading he does for alchemy. This means he daydreams a lot. He's so used to letting his mind wander during the night that he sometimes slips into his own thoughts through the day as well.

Mustang listens to salsa music while working. He was introduced to it while away on a military assignment and has kept up with the latest trends since.

Mustang never uses his alchemy outside of military uses. He uses matches at home and carries a lighter with him when he's off duty. He doesn't want to rely too heavily on something that he knows bothers Hawkeye.

Enjoys watching soap operas and telenovelas in his free time. He likes being able to switch his mind off and just watch something for the sake of just passing the time. He does end up getting invested in the story though...

Mustang enjoys reading and writing poetry. He's not very good at writing it yet, but he's improving. He's got all his draft poems in a box in the bottom draw of his bedside cupboard. Has considered publishing a few under a pseudonym.

Drinks his coffee with only a half teaspoon of sugar and a small splash of milk. He likes it more on the bitter side because he read somewhere that it has more caffeine that way. He needs to stay awake when doing paperwork somehow.

Hawkeye did ballet classes for years as a kid. She stopped when she was in her early teen years and hasn't really danced since. Mustang is the only one who knows.

Has a major sweet tooth but controls it strictly. She only allows herself one sweet treat a week. When she's very stressed, she lets herself indulge a bit and bumps that up to two sweet treats a week.

Listens to true crime! She loves theorizing about the culprit and trying to figure out the plot twists before they happen. Despite being surrounded by those sort of things at work, she likes listening to events that happen outside of Central.

Got her ears pierced when she was a kid. I think she had a lot of earrings left to her after her mother died and she wanted to wear some of them to remind her of her mother.

Has faint burn marks on her hands from her time in Ishval. Her metal gun get very hot in the sun and it burnt her hands when he had to hold it for a long time.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey, did you enjoy this? If you like my writing, please consider donating to my Ko-Fi page! This will allow me to make some money off my writing, something I enjoy doing.

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#writing #fanfic #headcanons #headcanon request #request #fullmetal alchemist #fullmetal alchemist brotherhood #edward elric #alphonse elric #roy mustang #riza hawkeye

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theemporium · 6 months

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1, 3, 8, 16, 20, 45, 46?

Happy Halloween! 🧡

1. favorite color?

either purple or green!

3. favorite book?

the sky is everywhere by jandy nelson was one of my favourite books and probably always will be because of the time in my life when i read it, it just really helped me deal with grief of a lost family member. but i have a few fantasy books/series that i adore now and a few wee romcom books that made me obsessed.

8. what is the one thing you look for in a partner?

my list of book boyfriends would suggest trauma and tragic backstories, but i would also probably say intelligence

16. are you a good driver?

yes but i have horrible luck with driving test examiners🤠i once failed my test because i refused to drive in a bike lane so!!!

20. an album with no skips?

any harry styles album or 1989 (taylor's version)

45. flowers or chocolates?

flowers, i am honestly not a big chocolate/sweet tooth person

46. do you have any tattoos or want any?

i don't have any but i do wanna get some!! i just have to wait until i no longer live with my parents (and have the money lol). but i have a few ideas on which tattoos i want! my sister and i wanna get wee matching ones

#cece answers #ask game #happy halloween love!!!

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sofiiel · 1 year

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I've got so many headcanons about what Eddie Munson was like a kid. So just going to drop them here.

Little Eddie sleeps with a night light. His dad doesn't approve, and his mother while she's still in the picture doesn't care one way or the other. His Uncle Wayne gives him a lava lamp to use instead, that way his dad can stop giving him the blues.

When he was five, his dad tried to teach him to ride a bike. He skipped over the tricycle most kids start out with and tried to teach him on a bike handed down from a work friend's child. The kid was older than Eddie, so the bike was too big. His dad pushed him around the trailer park for hours. Little Eddie is enjoying the time with his dad that isn't strained and keeps telling him his not ready for his dad to let go, so he can ride on his own.

His dad made him get buzz cuts because his hair reminded him too much of Eddie's mom, who left them both behind wanting a career for herself and having a child young was not ready for the responsibility.

Little Eddie's musical taste comes from both his parents, but he doesn't like to admit that his dad got him started on a love for metal.

Eddie's mom inspired him to learn guitar, she had an acoustic and used to play for him to help him sleep. He remembers those days well.

Little Eddie liked to catch frogs, slugs, and bugs. Keeping them jars because he wasn't allowed to have a pet. The Pet rock just didn't cut it. In his pursuit of having a pet, he also offered to watch or play with the neighbors dogs.

He gets letters and gifts from his mother for every holiday and his birthday. She comes to town to visit sometimes. She's out traveling the world, or that's what the letters say.

Little Eddie tried to find a shortcut around learning to tie his shoes and used the twist ties from bread bags to twist the laces together.

He and Jeff go way back and used to play pretend out in the woods, LARPing pretty much in the same way they would at a DnD table. Pretending to fight off trolls and go on grand adventures.

Eddie's dad, Wayne and Reefer Rick, were friends in high school and in the summer they take Eddie out fishing near Rick's house.

Little Eddie helped his dad get dates by being adorable with the 'single dad' routine at the park and at the store. It worked pretty well, but Eddie was never really keen on any other woman being around, as he still had hopes that his mom would come back one day.

Uncle Wayne used to give Eddie's dad money to put under Eddie's pillow from the tooth fairy. His dad didn't believe it in at first, but the two men got a laugh when Little Eddie started putting his friend's teeth under the pillow for extra money. He'd talk them into saving their teeth and giving them to him. He's always had a hustle.

Eddie's first guitar was the acoustic his mother left him. It was far too big, but he grew into it eventually.

He was the kind of kid that always came home filthy and found some kind of mischief.

Eddie was protective of his friends, and would try to be the big bad around bullies, but in reality he wasn't very tough at all, and it usually ended with all of them getting swirlies or wedgies from the bigger kids.

His dad taught him how to even the playing ground in a fight. Using ab object to protect himself.

His dad worked as a mechanic for a while as a side job, and Little Eddie used to help him work on cars on the weekends out in front of the trailer. Handing him tools and sitting in the cars while his dad showed him various things.

Before his mother left, she tried to be a good mom. She's pack him lunches for the day, cut him heart shaped sandwiches and leave him notes. She'd make him pancakes on Sundays and read to him before bed. Not only that, but she's the one who got him into fantasy.

Wayne would pick up Little Eddie early in the morning when he got home from the plant. Still in his footie pajamas to take him to the local dinner to eat breakfast together.

When he was 10 he took his dad car out on a joyride with his friends and almost made it completely out of Hawkins before getting it stuck in a ditch.

Little Eddie used to get in trouble at school for having too many doodles on his homework and not enough actual work.

Little Eddie was a fire alarm puller.

A/N: well that went on forever and that's not even all of them lol

#eddie munson headcanons #little eddie munson #stranger things headcanons #Eddie munson

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codegrooming · 3 months

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Wondering How to Win His Heart? V-Day Gifts He'll Cherish Every Day!

Guess what time it is? Yup, Valentine's Day is knocking on our doors, and if you're anything like us, you're probably racking your brain, wondering, "How on earth do I make this year's celebration extra special?"

Well, you don't need to worry because we've got some swoon-worthy Valentine's Day gifts for men ideas up our sleeve that will not only win his heart but also have him cherishing the magic of Valentine's Day every single day.

Gift of scent

They say scent is the strongest tie to memory, so why not gift your guy something he'll cherish every day? Cue the perfect Valentine's Day gift: the ultimate combo of body spray or perfumes from Wild Stone CODE. Not only do they keep him feeling fresh and confident all day long, but every time he spritzes, he'll be reminded of your thoughtful gesture. It's a win-win!

Cook him dinner

If your guy is a foodie (let's face it, aren't they all?), why not plan a romantic dinner at home? Cook up his favourite meal, light some candles, and dim the lights for a cosy and intimate evening. Bonus points if you whip up a delicious dessert to satisfy his sweet tooth!

Fun Outdoor Activity

If your guy is more of an adventurous type, why not plan a fun outdoor activity together? Spending time outdoors together, whether it's hiking in the mountains, riding bikes along the beach or just taking a leisurely stroll in the park, is sure to make his heart skip a beat.And hey, don't forget to carry your WildStone CODE deo for the extra freshness.

Letter of Love

Last but not least, don't forget the power of words. How about this: Why not take a few moments to pen down a sincere and heartwarming letter to show your appreciation and love for all the wonderful things he does? It's a small gesture that goes a long way in making him feel special and loved. Sometimes, it's the small things that make the biggest impact. This simple gesture is one of those things that will leave a lasting impression on him and touch his heart in a way that he won't forget.

With these thoughtful and unique ideas, you're sure to win his heart this Valentine's Day. While you're gifting him anything, the most important thing is to show him how much he means to you. After all, love is all about the little moments that make life sweet. Happy Valentine's Day!

#valentines day gifts for him #valentines day gifts for men #valentines day gifts #valentines day gifts online #wild stone code

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cricketchirp · 1 year

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Colored By A Mother's Love

I wasn’t sure I wanted to be a mother, but was blessed with two sons more than two decades ago. When the boys were young, I soon discovered that each day there was something to rejoice about beginning with those early accomplishments like rolling over, blowing bubbles, learning to walk, loosing a tooth, tying a shoe, zippering a jacket, skipping down the road, whistling a tune, or riding a bike…

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#Maine #western Maine

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dv554822 · 2 years

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Automotive Chain Sprocket Market Global Forecast To 2027

The report titled “Chain Sprocket Market: Global Demand Analysis & Opportunity Outlook 2027” delivers detailed overview of the global open gear lubricant market in terms of market segmentation by type, by end-use, by content, by manufacturing, and by region.

Further, for the in-depth analysis, the report encompasses the industry growth drivers, restraints, supply and demand risk, market attractiveness, BPS analysis and Porter’s five force model.

Global chain sprocket market is segmented on the basis of types into Standard Rolling, O Ring Chain and X Ring Chain; by Production type into Double duty automotive chain, Hunting tooth automotive, Skip tooth automotive, Gap tooth automotive, Draw Bench automotive and Segmental rim automotive; by application into Light commercial vehicle, Heavy Commercial vehicle, Passenger cars, Two wheelers and Others; by Sales type into OEM and Aftermarket. Global Chain Sprocket Market is anticipated to mask a significant CAGR during the forecast period i.e. 2019-2027.

Increasing demand for Sprocket in the regions of North America and Europe that is expected to drive the market. In coming days more-intense competition, new launches, retrofitting and renovation of old technology, increasing adoption of Sprocket will drive growth in global markets. By Chain type, the standard rolling chain segment, followed by O ring chain segment, will play an important role in generating motorcycle chain sprocket market revenue. Globally, the Sprocket industry market is low concentrate as the manufacturing technology of Sprocket is relatively matures than some products. And some enterprises, like Tsubaki, Martin Sprocket & Gear, SCS, Katayama, etc. are well-known for the wonderful performance of their Sprocket and related services. At the same time, Asia-Pacific, occupied 48.07% sales market share in 2016 is remarkable in the global Sprocket industry because of their market share and low cost of raw material and labor.

Advanced and efficient design improvement

Car chain sprocket makers have been concentrating on creating improved assortment of structures. Originators of new car sprocket plans have been guaranteeing high efficiencies for their individual structures, as a feature of their showcasing procedure. Additionally, makers have been excited about item advancement so as produce progressively light weight car chain sprockets with a push to improve eco-friendliness. Better transmission, low clamor levels amid working, very nearly zero slippage concerning the car chain sprocket get together and utilization of prevalent evaluation materials in car chain sprocket items have been the center purposes of producers.

Electric Bikes and Tax on Luxury Items Continue to Strain Revenue

Government initiatives of introducing of electric vehicle aimed at controlling vehicular emission, could substantially restrict the demand for conventional two wheelers, and thereby chain sprockets used in such vehicles. China, being one of the largest markets for two-wheelers is aggressively promoting electric vehicles for transportation, considering its low cost, energy efficient, emission-free systems, and no license and registration.

This report also provides the existing competitive scenario of some of the key players of the global chain sprocket market which includes company profiling of JT Sprockets, SCS, Katayama, Linn Gear, SKF, Renold, Renqiu Chuangyi, G&G Manufacturing, Allied Locke, Xinghua Donghua Gearand WM Berg. The profiling enfolds key information of the companies which encompasses business overview, products and services, key financials and recent news and developments. On the whole, the report depicts detailed overview of the global chain sprocket market that will help industry consultants, equipment manufacturers, existing players searching for expansion opportunities, new players searching possibilities and other stakeholders to align their market centric strategies according to the ongoing and expected trends in the future.

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poppyseedgirly · 2 years

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my heads kinda spinning tonight, big martians, and this couch thing i’ve been sleeping on is the worst thing i think i’ve ever slept on haha, but i’m doing okay

i hear the train rolling loud here comforting in the night the opposite of a cricket but the same level of comfort like a peeper in brodericks old bed room windows open jump to a blizzardy day in edinboro pa warm waking up, early morning to freezing cold on my nose skipping class to come back and curl up with you I love all the seasons did i change once we got poppet, I want to ask you i feel like a mother in ways

a room to view the stars crab leg lobster asmr You have the biggest sweet tooth And still want to devour between my toes you say

I forget I want to run in a field In the sand At night and breathe and scream and live Hand in hand in this world with you Does the universe make you nervous Cause I always thought it has When we talk about it

Your voice was crisp tonight I love it, your energy radiates I want to consume you Like apples, peanut butter Honey

Tomorrow im going to ride my bike Go fast, breathe, and find a special song and remember how important and special it is to live to love, to romanticize this world I can make it however I want, its our world

Im tired of downing myself, I am everything I am alive I am the stars you see up in the sky

You are magnificent An angel, my best friend Here we are together A world full of magic and mystery Angels But still we can catch Pokemon And play wordle And dance and feel and be silly

#diary

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planetflos · 2 years

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✿ 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒! | 𝖽𝖺𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗃𝗎𝗅𝖾𝗌 𝗏𝖺𝗎𝗀𝗁𝗇 ̥*ೃ♡𓏲

synopsis ⇨ in which i describe what it would be like dating jules vaughn using these cute lil’ headcanons!

pairings ⇨ jules vaughn x fem!eader.

warnings ⇨ sickly sweet, borderline tooth rottening fluff, some swearing, mentions of trauma from past relationships, mentions of nate jacobs—i think that’s about it?

authors notes ⇨ euphoria > anything else on tv! i’m not seeing too much of anything pertaining to jules on here so i decided to put this together at 3 am on a wednesday. the way she has my heart is not okay, i simp hard for her. i had a whole lotta fun writing this and i hope you guys have just as much fun reading ♡.

jules jules jules! my gem, my favorite girl. personally, i feel like dating her would be sticky sweet and super heart warming. she gives off major manic pixie dream girl energy which i loveee!

speaking of love, that’s her goal—that’s her mission. to make you feel loved. her heart is very big and she wears it on her sleeve! i feel like she would leave these cute little sticky notes on your locker down with the sweetest little messages written on them—‘i love you a lot, have an amazing day babe! ☻︎’ ugh. the cutest, i swear.

late night bike rides around the town.

her pulling you in for surprise kisses, wherever whenever.

you two would definitely skip school to go to the beach, skating rink, mall, & etc—sometimes you would have picnics on the beach as well. kat or maddy would join occasionally.

she’s a clingy baby, but never smothering. the fear of you leaving her someone else does cross her mind often, but you always make sure to remind her that there’s no one else and she’s the one for you without a doubt.

thrift store dates…hear me out. jules seems like the kind of gal to love thrifting old clothes, most of her wardrobe is probably thrifted. you two would always come across the cutest finds, causing the other girls in the store to give you dirty looks out of jealousy.

making playlists for each other (spotify > apple music).

going to parties with her and the girls—you guys would dance and drink for a bit until you wander off, checking out the scenery with everyone else. she would get a little nervous but she would remind herself that you wouldn’t do anything stupid or to put yourself in danger—hopefully.

speaking of parties, expect to have a few awkward encounters with either rue or nate. rue would give you two an awkward smile and wave before disappearing into the crowd. after hearing about how jules’s relationship with rue went downhill quickly, you definitely have some thoughts about her. and nate—he would just be staring, trying his best to make you both uncomfy. it doesn’t work, though, because nobody is scared of him. especially not after fezco beat his ass something terrible.

going to museums just to take aesthetic pictures for your instagram theme.

you two being each other’s biggest supporters no matter what.

her admiring your beauty when you’re talking—doing anything honestly. she always tells you that you’re the most beautiful person in the world.

having sleepovers on the weekend! binge watching puella magi madoka magica, her fave anime ever. you absolutely adore the way her face lights up whenever the show is mentioned, and how hard she smiles while talking when she gives you recaps of all the episodes you missed. this girl really loves you omfg.

jules showing you her sketchbook creations, bonding over markers and pencils, and how crayola is better than krazy art, because krazy art simply sucks.

listening to her rant after a terrible, no good, very bad day.

trying out cute makeup trends on tiktok and pintrest. she slays them. every. single time.

cute lil’ study date sessions—finger foods, music playing in the background, books and pencils scattered everywhere, giving each other total heart eyes. ugh, yes.

most importantly, you guys are not just girlfriends, you’re best friends. jules puts a lot of her in you and you put a lot of your trust in her. <3

#jules vaughn #jules vaughn x reader #euphoria #euphoria season 2 #jules vaughn imagines #jules vaughn headcanons #jules vaughn blurbs #hunter schafer

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cow-smells · 3 years

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Knock It Off (Eli “Hawk” Moskowitz x reader)

Request: Do you think you could write something about the reader being in cobra kai, and she’s new to everything and little more quiet and reserved, but she’s talented and sensai lawrence likes her for that, and hawk takes a liking to her and constantly flirts with her in class and sensai lawrence is like protective of her and always tells him to knock it off even though you secretly like it? (anon)

A/n: I really enjoyed this request!! I feel like I could go on forever on this dynamic. Is this me projecting my lack of a father figure on to a fictional character? Perhaps.

Words: 1216

Warnings: none

read this on AO3

It took .003 seconds from you entering the dojo to when his eyes caught on you, and the theatrics began.

“Hey,” Hawk nudged Miguel, shrugging off the top of his gi nonchalantly, as though it wasn't an obvious attempt to obtain your attention. “look. Recoloured the hawk to Red. Gotta keep him up with the times.”

Miguel didn't even have to look back to ask. “Y/n's here?”

“Is she?” Hawk asked, his voice higher than usual – as it would get when he lied. “Didn't notice.”

That doesn't stop him from approaching you a millisecond later, his torso still bare. You're talking to Aisha when Hawk strides over, fist bumps Aisha and turns to you, giving you a long once-over.

“Y/n. Looking fine as usual.” You can't help the blush that creeps up your cheeks. “You girls coming to the party at the canyon tomorrow night? I can come get you on my bike,” he finishes, looking at you.

You smile and part your lips to answer but sensei Lawrence beats you to it. “Students. Fall in!” he yells authoritatively as he eyes you and Hawk.

Not missing a beat, you all cut your conversation immediately to fall in to rows. Sensei Lawrence has Miguel warm up the class. Right after he commands you all in to an open square, standing at the open side to referee. “Tory. Aisha.” sensei calls, and no one needs an explanation as to what's about to happen. The All Vally tournament was closer than ever and Sensei had you all sparring constantly.

The girls drive a hard fight, but eventually Tory takes the win. Both roughed-up Tory hands an arm out to Aisha, picking her up from the mat before bowing and returning to their respective places.

“Y/n.” Sensei calls and you step forward. You were only three girls in his class so you were used to fighting the boys. You weren't shaken by it by any means – you were good – but the boys tended to go easy on you, fearing for your delicate hollow bones – despite you being fully capable of winning without them holding back.

Both you and Sensei Lawrence scan the crowd of boys, trying to catch the eye of someone with the nerve to take you – when Hawk steps forward, signature cocky grin on his lips. “May I, Sensei?”

You loved how Hawk showed Sensei proper respect, knowing that outside the dojo he wouldn't ask anyone permission for anything, he'd just take or do what he wanted. Caring for Sensei Lawrence as you did, you appreciated Hawks matching adoration of your teacher.

It looks like Johnny might turn him down before he says, “You may.”

You and Hawk step towards each other and a surge of excitement rushes through you as you bow to each other. You take a fighting position and block when Hawk sends the first punch. Before he can recover you attack, spinning on your heel to deliver a kick so strong it knocks him over.

Usually Hawk jumps right back in to action when sparring with anyone else; but now he slowly peels himself off the mat, hand on his chest where you hit him. “Damn, Y/n. Was that a spinning back kick or am I just falling for you?”

“Knock it off,” Sensei roars in annoyance, the heat in your cheeks rising furiously. You return to a fighting position without responding, trying to drown the whole thing out.

Hawk obeys Sensei and the rest of the fight goes by as any fight would, Hawk treating you as an equal – definitely not showing mercy, which, despite the pain, you appreciated – eventually ending with him straddling you on the mat, delivering a final hit to your chest, just under you clavicle. It wasn't a strong one, but it didn't need to be. Tournament rules declared him winner. Johnny called Hawk's name in triumph, but Hawk didn't seem to care. He was reluctant to get off you, the intense eye contact you held holding him back from breaking away.

That is, until Johnny grabbed hold of his shoulder and forced him up and away from you. “Bow,” he commanded, and the intense irritation in his voice was unmistakable. You do so shakily, even though you know Sensei's irritation is not towards you. Sensei Lawrence had a soft spot for you, always had since you joined – and you reveled in it. He knew about your home life situation, and together with your quick learning and dedication to his teachings he quickly grew fond of you, and together with the fondness he became protective, as though you were his own.

The rest of the class goes by uneventfully, apart from a bloody nose and chipped tooth, nothing that was foreign to you all at this point of your intense training.

The class dispersed. People headed out or to the locker rooms to change as Johnny called, “Y/n. My office.” You follow him in.

“Is he bothering you?” Johnny asks, not bothering to close the door. You didn't need to ask who “he” is.

“N-no,” you admit, slightly blushing as you do. If anything, you were enjoying Hawks attention on you, his actions fueling your crush on him even further.

“Are you sure?” Sensei Lawrence goes on. “because if he is, I-”

“I'm sure,” you quickly interject. You slowly shut the door behind you as you confess, “actually, he kinda asked me to a party tomorrow. I'm going to say yes.”

Sensei's brow quirks. “You are not going to a party with that boy.”

“Why not?” you ask like a disgruntled child at Johnny's words, holding them as a command though to be realistic – he had no power over you. No power that you didn't willingly give him.

“Look, I-” Johnny begins to say, thinking back to the things he used to do as a teenager at beach parties, bringing girls along on his bike. “I don't like it.”

“What's so wrong with Hawk?” you frown. “He's one of your best students.”

“That's unrelated. Look, you can get in to all kinds of trouble at these types of things.”

You try to suppress your smile. “Don't worry about me, Sensei. I won't get in to trouble, promise. Besides, you wouldn't have this conversation with Miguel, would you?”

Johnny sighs, realizing he's fighting a losing battle. Grabbing his keys from his desk, he motions you out. “Come on, I'll give you a ride home.”

You feel a strange kind of contentedness as you leave the empty dojo with Johnny, who rattles his keys in his hands.

You definitely don't expect to see Hawk waiting outside, leaning on his bike with an extra helmet in hand.

“Hey,” he says and looks timidly from you to Sensei. “I – was wondering if you want a lift home.”

You open your mouth to reply, before shutting it and looking to Sensei pleadingly. He frowns. “Fine, go,” he huffs, acting annoyed. “Don't do anything I wouldn't.”

You send a final smile to your sensei before skipping over to Hawk, taking the helmet from his hands and mounting the bike behind him, your arms curling around him as you take off.

#cobra kai #cobra kai imagine #eli moskowitz #eli moskowitz x reader #eli moskowitz/reader #eli hawk moskowitz #eli hawk moskowitz imagine #hawk cobra kai #cobra kai x reader #cobra kai/reader #johnny lawrence #Johnny Lawrence imagine

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ererokii · 3 years

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Line without a Hook || E. Jaeger & J. Kirstein

➳ Jean Kirsten x Fem Reader x Eren Jaeger

Word count: 4,517 Warnings: angst, fluff, unrequited love, cursing ➳ note: this is based off the song Line Without a Hook by Ricky Montgomery! I’ve been thinking this for a long time and I’m super excited by how it came out! Also big thanks to @reddriot for betaing!

➳ Synopsis: is love really worth it? Let me say, it’s not always worth it.

You can hold my hand if no one’s home.

Do you like it when I’m away?

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

It starts out simple really. A boy and a girl. Childhood friends, to be precise. Those two are inseparable. Nothing can tear the friends apart, besides their parents, of course. Like two peas in a pod.

Jean says he knows you like the back of his hand. He truly means that. He knows your favorite boy bands from when you were younger, how many terrible phases you’ve gone through, favorite foods, and places. If he wrote a novel about the things you told him, he would be a renowned author.

Since kindergarten to now, in the middle of your junior year, you and Jean have been side by side. You told him everything. From random vents and gossiping about the rude girls in your class to how horrible your period cramps were— even though Jean hated hearing about the last, he stuck through it for you.

Only you.

The pavement that followed the street your house was on is memorable. Jean can recall the amount of times you’ve had races, chalk scribbles covering the grey that would be washed away by the angry neighbors.

He listens to you as you talk about a kid getting in trouble in your Calculus class, watches how lively your motions are as you speak. Jean can’t help but smile when a laugh slips past your lips and you glance at him. There’s an unknown sparkle in his eyes, one filled with love.

You haven’t changed one bit, he thinks as he faces back forward, shoving his hands in the front pockets of his jeans. His mind begins to wander as you both continue down the pavement, part of your routine when school ends.

Your houses are right next to each other. You’ve been with him since you were in diapers. He was there when your first tooth came out, congratulating you, and you were there for him when he finally learned to ride his bike with two wheels instead of three.

The bubbly lovable five-year-old back then is the same as you are now.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Oh all my emotions

Feel like explosions when you are around

A sigh of disappointment leaves Jean’s lips when he listens to Connie talk about something he has learned over the weekend (something completely stupid— he just doesn’t care). Currently, the students are at lunch, the cafeteria full with loud shouts and random noises.

“Connie, shut up,” Sasha groans, placing her water bottle on the table, wiping her crumbs off. “No one cares that you finally figured out how to stick a spoon to your nose.”

“What do you mean?! You were the one who showed me!”

The brunette gasps and looks over his way, cream cheeks tinted with an adorable shade of pink, pointing a finger at him. The bickering between the two commence as Jean listens, slightly amused.

As much as he indulges in their argument, he can't help but wonder where you are.

It’s not like you to skip lunch, especially without at least letting him know. Did you stay behind to talk to a friend? A teacher? Maybe you went to the bathroom.

But it’s at least 15 minutes in.

“Sasha,” he speaks up, slicking back his hair. The sound of her name catches her attention, making her look at him. “Have you seen Y/N?”

“Y/N?” she asks in a whisper before her lips curl in a grin, already knowing why he asked. “Do you miss her?”

“Just answer my goddamn question!”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Connie asks, looking between his friends before stopping his gaze on Jean. “Why do you need Y/N?”

“Oh, you know! He lik-”

“Shut up!” Jean shouts, catching the attention of nearby students, his face heating up as his cheeks turn a darker pigment. “Just answer me!”

“If you must know,” she taunts him, twirling a strand of hair from her loose ponytail. “I saw her talking to someone in the hallway. Must be important, she’s been there for quite some time. Might want to be her knight in shining armor and saving her, huh?” she cocks her head to the side, staring at one of the windows in the room, watching as the branches of trees sway from the harsh winds.

The atmosphere outside was cold, breezes rushing down on anyone who was not inside. The sun was hidden by the thick grey blankets filled with rainwater, waiting to shower the world. The temperature recently has been dropping, mid 50’s at least. The weather was a shock, to say the least.

“I didn’t know Jean likes her!”

“What do you mean?!” Sasha gasps, turning her body to face her small-minded friend. “It’s only obvious! You must be really stupid then!”

“Well, how could you tell?!”

Before Jean has a chance to interrupt Sasha, she begins to rant. He prefers to stay silent, clasping his hands together in his lap as he lowers his head, finding interest in the marbled tiles of the floor his feet rest on.

The words that slip past Sasha’s lips reach his ear and out the other.

It’s easy to tell, Connie. Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything? Here you guys are, two close friends, I thought you would have known about his crush. I’m surprised you didn’t catch on every time he ditched plans with us to go hang out with her. He��s whipped, and you’re too stupid to know it.

His cheeks turn a shade of pink as his eyes squeeze shut, her words replaying in his head like a broken record player. Each sentence is like a knife stabbing away at his brain, causing the slightest ache to form in his frontal region.

She’s right. Anything she just said five minutes ago, is completely and utterly correct.

He can still hear her talking about it to Connie, but he can only focus on three sentences that stick to him like glue.

Have you noticed the way he looks at her? Can’t you see the love in his eyes? The way he will actually go out of his way to help her with anything?

Memories of him helping you in any possible way come to mind. He can’t recall how many times he has entered class two minutes late because you had so much to carry.

He stares at you like you’re the only thing worth looking at. It reminds him of those cliche animated movies with hearts in the character's eyes. He’s blinded by his love for you, that he never noticed any signs that you don’t feel the same way about him. His heart races miles per hour when you’re around. Sometimes he worries for himself that maybe, his heart might explode within him.

“Anyway, lunch has about 20 minutes left...where is she?” Connie mutters, scratching the top of his head.

“I don’t know, but,” Sasha grows quiet, listening to the ongoing thunder from the outside. The lights flicker for a second, a couple of yelps emitting from other students, slightly afraid that the power might go off while school is in session. “The storm is almost here.”

“Y/N!” Connie suddenly yells, pointing in the direction of the door, your body jogging closer to the table. “Where have you been?!”

“Sorry!” you laugh, out of breath as you drop your things on the bench, taking a seat beside Jean. “I got caught up in a conversation with someone! I guess I lost track of time for a bit.”

“I messaged you like four times,” Jean mutters, glancing over at you before looking at the table, playing with the plastic straw that he used to drink out of.

“You did?” you ask, pulling your phone out from your pocket, lips puckering when indeed he did so. “I’m sorry, Jean. I didn’t even feel my phone vibrate.”

“Oh, whatever, who cares! Eat! Or I’ll eat your food!” Sasha yells, pointing a finger at you, a smile gracing her features.

You laugh along with her as you converse with your peers, the conversation you had replaying in the back of your mind. Jean chooses not to intervene, instead would rather listen.

The roaring thunder plays in the background, everyone paying no mind to it. What he doesn’t know is that the storm is much closer than Jean could have thought.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Listen close, it’s a no

The wind is a pounding on my back

And I found hope in a heart attack

Oh at last, it is past

Now I’ve got it, and you can’t have it

Another evening, another study session, another day of bottling up his feelings until he can no longer hold them inside.

The storm made its way to shore, raining pouring down and even some hail; not what anyone was expecting.

Jean mindlessly flips through the pages of his English book, not even paying attention to the words as he checks how many pages are in chapter five.

“This seems pointless,” he adds with a sigh, tossing the book on your bed along with his highlighter he uses to annotate with. “I should just find a summary online or something, I don’t want to read this.”

“And why is that?” you ask, looking up from your book, placing the hardcover against your thighs. “Is it boring to you?”

“No,” he mutters, rolling onto his back. “It’s stupid. This love crap.”

“Well...it is a romance story, the teacher told us when we got the book. But why do you think it’s dumb?”

“He writes letters for her, and in the end, she ends up rejecting him. I don’t think that’s romantic.”

“And? It’s beautiful on his part,” you close your eyes as you stretch your arms over your head, letting out a grunt. “It’s the fact that he wrote to her every day. It’s like he poured his soul into every word. The words he uses are..literally everything. It makes me swoon over him, and he’s not real. Makes me wonder if someone would do that for me.”

Jean’s head perks up at your words, one of his eyebrows raised in curiosity when he notices the bashful look on your face, eyes averted to the comforter on your bed. “Why do you have that dopey look on your face?”

“Huh?!” your eyes are blown open as you look over at him. “What are you talking about?!”

“I’m talking about that, idiot,” he points at your face, watching your eyes cross faintly to stare at his finger. “You’re acting about that guy in the book.”

The patter of the rain is the only noise that fills the void called silence in your room. His warm eyes don’t leave your face at all, waiting for your answer. You’ve been acting weird ever since you were late to lunch this past week.

He watches your mouth open as if you’ll say something but close it right away, like you were concealing anything you had to hide.

“...well? Y/N? Are you there?”

“Yeah!” you cough into your elbow, running a hand down your face. “I-- you can’t tell anyone.”

“You know I never tell anyone what we talk about.”

You’re silent, a bit too quiet than usual. You fiddle with your fingers before blurting the words that have been eating away at you.

Jean’s heart stops for a moment, eyes wide in shock when he processes it. His blood runs cold as he’s unable to move, frozen like a statue. The signals in his brain begged him to respond, but he couldn’t. He could hear the faintest sound of bells ringing in his ears; all noise surrounding him was now drowned out by his thoughts.

One second.

Two seconds.

Three seconds.

“You like someone?” he asks in a whisper, barely audible to your ears, but you heard as you nod shyly, biting down on your lip. “Well... who is it?”

“That’s...I can’t say it.”

“Why can’t you?”

“I’m afraid to say it out loud because I don’t want to ruin my friendship with him.”

Friendship? That could be anyone at this point.

I have to figure out who, he thinks as he draws random patterns into the sheets. “Well, tell me about him then. Is he in our grade?” he asks.

“Yeah, he is. He’s in four of my classes.”

Jean was in four of your classes. Math, English, Foreign Language, and Science.

“That’s it?”

You huff, rolling your eyes. “Can I finish before you interrupt? Thank you.”

You pause momentarily before speaking again.

“He’s stubborn. I’ve noticed that his demeanor changes when it depends on who he is with. He seems like a hardass and looks like he doesn’t want to be bothered, but he seems like a total softie when he’s with people he loves. Not to mention he’s hot...and tall. He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.”

Jean takes every word you say into consideration. He’s stubborn, it seems that he doesn’t like to be around people he doesn’t know but loves those he does know. He knows he’s hot. Practically every day he looks at himself in the mirror and thinks about how good he looks.

He’s blunt and straight to the point. He doesn’t bullshit at all. He’s really sweet as well, to me. He always goes out of his way to make sure I’m okay and how my day was. He just..he really seems to care for me, and I feel the same way about him.

Jean can feel his doubt and worry turn into happiness and confidence as you keep on ranting, to which he’s not fully paying attention anymore. He knows it's him. It has always been him.

No one else.

Jean likes you.

And you like Jean, that’s all there is to it.

“Do you want to tell him?”

“Yeah...” you trail off, scratching the nape of your neck. “I want to tell him on Friday after school. Do you think he’ll like me back?”

“I think he would. How could he not? He would be a total idiot to reject you.”

You hum at his reassurance, placing your hand on his, squeezing gently.

“Thanks, Jean.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

Darling when I’m fast asleep

I've seen this person watching me

Saying, “Is it worth it? Is it worth it?”

Tell me, is it worth it?

Friday comes, and Jean can hardly wait for school to end. He’s not paying attention, his eyes constantly staring from the whiteboard in the front to the clock that tauntingly ticks slower than usual.

He bites down on the pink end of his pencil in anticipation, tapping his foot repeatedly on the floor, the noise resonating through the classroom.

Maybe I should just keep my eyes off the clock, he thinks, lowering his head back to the worksheet their teacher gave the class.

Econ class was a drag. He could care less about the differences in macro and microeconomics, the same with Communism and Capitalism. It’s just a bunch of words that don’t make sense to his brain.

This was one of the classes he didn’t have with you, the last class.

Instead of doing his worksheet (luckily, the teacher said it would be for homework if it wasn’t finished), Jean proceeded to think about ways he could tell you his feelings.

He could be old fashioned, tell you how much he adores you and how happy you make him feel when you’re around. How his heart can be heard from the outside of his body, how his hands got warm and clammy, maybe sweaty when he became too nervous.

He could ask you out on a date. Take you somewhere, one of the places you’ve told him in the past that would make a great date for you. He smiles when he thinks about taking you downtown at night, looking at the soft lights that would brighten the streets; loving the sparkle in your orbs as you look around in awe.

He hums, pleased with himself when he figures out what he’ll do, scratching the back of his ear.

He wonders if you’re thinking the same thing.

You glance at your table partner, looking at his piece of paper before looking down at yours, displeased how his is able to look better than yours. You pick up your eraser, gently wiping the shadings away from your drawing, careful not to crease your paper.

“It’s not that hard you know, you just don’t know how to shade.”

“I know how to shade, Eren,” you reply with a huff, placing your eraser back down. “It’s just...this is a bit harder than usual.”

“All you have to do is follow the markings,” he presses the edge of his drawing pencil against the reference photo both of you are using, tracing the shape of it. “You could honestly just copy the photo, I doubt this woman would even notice.”

You chuckle at his choice of words, shifting in your seat to get comfortable. “I don’t think she would anyway. She just stares at it and calls it an A. I bet for our expressive project, she wouldn’t notice if we copied each other.”

He shakes his head with a smile, the loose strands of his hair swaying with his head movement. “No, she wouldn’t,” he rolls the sleeves of his hoodie to his elbows, grabbing his pencil again. “Then again, we are working on it with each other.”

“Speaking of that, what should we do?”

“Up to you, Y/N. I don’t mind. I’m just trying to pass this stupid class anyway.”

You relish in the silence between you as you gaze at him from your peripheral. You take notice how his hair frames his face effortlessly to the dip in his nose. It’s perfect how it forms to his cupid’s bow to his lips; not too big nor too small either. Just right.

You clear your throat, scratching at the nape of your neck. “Why not do...stages of love?”

That catches his interest.

“Stages of love?” he asks, moving in his chair to face you, a hand propping his head up. “Elaborate?”

“Like you know...how we gain a crush on someone. We like how they make us feel, and soon we think about them some more. Maybe make little scenarios in our head. Then we gain the crush and want to be around them. You know what I mean, right?”

He’s silent, hues that represent the blue of rivers, boring into your own. At first, you think he hates your idea, but then the corner of his lips curls into his infamous grin. “Yeah, I like that. Did you have anything else in mind?”

“Maybe...rejection?”

“Rejection?” he repeats, a bit shocked at how romantic your words were, to something filled with sadness. “And why would you want to do rejection?”

“W-Well,” you stutter, unsure how you should put it. “Everyone always talks about the good in love but never the bad. And I think it could be done good, you know?”

He hums, scratching away at his chin before nodding. “Yeah, alright. That sounds oddly specific, but I like it. We can honestly get started soon, that way, we can finish faster and not worry about it.”

His smile throws you for a loop, your face heating up as you pick up your pencil, trying to distract yourself.

“Say, Y/N?”

“Yes, Eren?” you reply a bit too quickly, cursing yourself out internally for sounding too desperate.

“Can we talk?” his cheeks are a shade of pink, his eyes averted as he plays with one of the strings of his hood, reminding you how a child would distract themselves. The tips of his shoe nudge against yours, barely kicking gently.

“Aren’t we talking right now?”

“No, I mean after school.”

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

And in my eyes, there is a tiny dancer

Watching over me, he’s singing,

Jean storms out of his Econ class with a grin, hands gripping onto the straps of his backpack as he looks down one end of the hallway before going down the other direction. The art room was three classes down his. Usually, Jean will wait right there by the door for you since you take ages to finally leave the classroom.

When Jean finally reaches the room, he sees that the doors are locked, and the lights inside are off.

Huh, that’s weird, you’re always one of the last to leave, nor are you ever this early.

He stands there for a few more seconds, peering in through the small glass, and sees nothing before taking a step back and quickly continues to walk down the hall. His legs are quicker, going down the two flights of stairs.

His eyes frantically search for the yellow shirt you wore, unable to find you anywhere.

“Sasha!” he calls out once he reaches the end of the stairs, running towards the girl and their friend, who was at the lockers, pulling things she needed to take home for the weekend.

The brunette looks over her shoulder, stopping her conversation with Connie as she shuts her locker. “Yeah, Jean?”

He pants, leaning on his knees before letting out a deep breath and standing straight up. “Have you seen Y/N?”

She ponders for a while before shaking her head, looking over at Connie, who shakes his head, shrugging. “We haven’t seen her since Art class.”

“You didn’t see where she went at all?”

The events before class ending play in her mind before she gasps, snapping her fingers, pointing up at Jean. “Yeah, I know where she went!”

“...are you going to tell me, or am I going to have to guess?!”

She mocks him for a second before pulling her phone out. “I could have seen her leave with Eren. I think they went to the bench in the back. You know the one I’m talking about?”

He’s taken aback for a moment before shaking his head, retaining the information. “Alright, thanks.”

Why would you even be with Eren right now? You never meet with him after-

“Are we still on for this weekend?!” Connie yells when Jean is making his way down the corridor.

“Yeah, we are!” Jean's voice travels through the air, reaching both of his friends, hands clammy as they’re shoved in the front pocket of his pants.

The walk to the back courtyard was tiresome. His feet seemed to drag behind him, an aching feeling forming in his gut. Thoughts pounded against his skull repeatedly, trying to force him to stop. He wants to stop, but he has to go.

He has to tell you he loves you.

He can’t help but smile when you describe the boy you like this week. In his mind and most certainly his heart, he was the king of the world sitting on his high horse as he screamed in victory, letting the whole world know that the person he likes, feels the same way about him.

The fresh air from the outside meets his nostrils as he deeply inhales, allowing it to enter his body before exiting. The sun is the first thing he meets with as he exits the building, bringing a hand up to shield his eyes away from the harsh light. He mutters something under his breath as he looks around for a second.

“She’s a,

She’s a lady and I’m just a boy”

His honey orbs finally stop on a bench where you and Eren are seated, that’s not too far away, but his body is hidden from your view. He lets out a sigh of relief, leaves crunching underneath his feet as he walks, not taking long strides, rather walking slow to rethink what he’ll say.

“Y/N, I’ve liked you for a long...no,” he mutters, stopping in his tracks as he looks down at the green grass and leaves, kicking away at them. “I’ve loved- no, that sounds a bit aggressive, goddammit,” he groans, tugging at the roots of his hairs. “Why is this so fucking hard?!” he growls underneath his breath, leaning against the brick wall.

He never was anything else but honest with you. How could he say it?

What if this ruins your relationship?

...what if you liked Eren?

His breath hitches in his throat when realization dawns on him. His lips part, a soft exhale releasing from within him. His fingers curl around nothing, as if he was holding the air’s hand. The tips of his fingers shake, his whole body stiffening as he stares hard at nothing.

How could he be so stupid?

It all made sense now. How you stayed behind during lunch that one time without saying anything; in the back of his mind that day, he knew that someone had to be a boy, maybe a girl. Even then, you would always let him know.

Jean should have known from the beginning that you only saw him as a brother.

His chest aches as his vision goes blurry, biting down on the inside of his lip to the point where he can taste the bitter metallic on his tongue. He squeezes his eyes shut before opening, wishing he hadn’t at that moment.

He’s singing

“She’s a, she’s a lady and I am just a line without a hook.”

His heart breaks, stomach-dropping when he sees Eren’s hand brings you closer to his body, lips pressed up against yours; your hand placed on his cheek, cradling his face. Even from where he stands, he can sense the urgency in the kiss, how your bodies move together as one, how your fingers grip onto him like he’ll leave any moment.

His lower lip quivers for a second, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand, clearing his throat. Jean cranes his neck upward, looking at the sky, muttering the words, “Why him?” over and over like a mantra, no other words coming to mind.

When he closes his eyes, all he can see is you. Not Eren, just you. Those moments where you laugh, cry, or stay silent, those are the moments that flash in his head.

Did he do something to you? Was it something he said?

Did you ever like him at all?

“It’s pointless,” he whispers, pushing himself off the brick wall, immediately making a beeline for the doors. He swallows harshly, legs moving faster than ever, wanting to get out of this hell hole called reality.

Like every day, you’ll walk down the same pavement you’ve been walking on for years.

Only this time, he’s walking alone.

Oh, and if I could take it all back

I swear that I would pull you from the tide.

☽✧ ✦ ✧☾

taglist: @sleepysnk @jaegerbomb20 @reddriot @kkiimmberly @kingtamakimurder @tamasoft @byougen @spike-this-ass @crimsonbows-and-arrows @squidonmywall @thicmitten (message me to be apart of it!)

#eren x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren yeager x reader #jean x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot #snk #aot x reader #snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines #attack on titan imagines #shingeki no kyojin imagines #eren imagines #eren jaeger imagines #jean imagines #jean kirstein imagines

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pascalpanic · 3 years

Text

Cigarette Daydreams

Pairings: young Javier Peña x young f!reader

Inspiration: Cigarette Daydreams by Cage The Elephant

Summary: Javier drives all night in the rain, wondering what went wrong and where. How he lost you, the one woman he’d ever loved.

W/C: 5.4k

Warnings: language, talk of death, lots of talk of sexual content but nothing explicit, lots of angst, emotions are running high here, talk of poor mental health. this handles some heavy topics so please be warned. set in the 60s so there’s a really brief mention of being drafted.

A/N: So this is a song I like but it’s really emotional, as is this fic. I just wanted to explore what Javier would’ve been like when he was young. It’s not necessarily all in chronological order but I kind of think it makes sense... let me know if it doesn’t. thank you to all my friends/beta readers who helped me with this one, like @leonieb, @feelingmadclever, @theteddylupinexperience, and a bunch of others :)

Javier smoked his first cigarette with you. It would become a lifelong addiction: the cigarettes, that is. You, on the other hand, were a yearning he could never satisfy. An addiction is something you can feed; you can dull it by giving it exactly what it wants. Javier wanted you, still wants you desperately. The difference is that he cannot have you.

It’s been years since he last saw you. Since he last heard your enchanting laugh, smelled the warm scent of your hair product as he kissed the top of your head. He thinks about you all the goddamn time. What life would be like now if you hadn’t gone your own way. He misses you like hell, but he’s sure you’re off and married and conquering the world in your own way. He’s never tried to find out. He’s too scared it’s true.

Laredo was more of the place you told people you hailed from. The name was recognizable, easily: oh, you’re from the place where A&M’s other campus is located? Exactly, you’d respond, and it was much less of a hassle. In reality, you and Javier both grew up in a small community out in the farmlands near Laredo.

You’d grown up with him. Everyone in the town knew you, and they knew Javi equally as well. He was an interest of your community: from the day you took those standardized tests in second grade, everyone knew that Peñita was going places, but his temper held him back. His emotions consumed him.

He was blonde as a baby; you’d seen in photos, scattered around Chucho’s house. His hair gradually grew darker as he grew older, and your classmates all teased him. You didn’t remember a time where his hair was lighter than a dark blonde, being a child yourself. But it was an evolution that matched him, you had come to realize in your adult years.

Not only was he smart, he was a born athlete. Javier was always a bit smaller than the other boys, but damn was he quick. He could run and run and no one could match him. That’s what made him so successful in early football training. From the start, Chucho enrolled him in football, despite Alejandra’s weak protests. She gave in when she saw her baby in a helmet and massive shoulder pads, grinning at her with one front tooth.

You and Javier were not in the same circles as children. He played with the boys on the field, always the running back when they played football or the offense when they played soccer. He had a temper, though. If there was ever a scuffle on the soccer pitch, you could bet Javier was one of the fighters. You, on the other hand, sat in the shade of the elementary school building, reading book after book.

His mother was beautiful. She had long dark hair that smelled of something exotic and warm, and she had a smile with a dimple in one cheek. She brought treats to your class on his birthday, which was in November. She read books to your class on her assigned story days, Javier cuddled into her side. He adored her.

Alejandra Peña died when you were in sixth grade. You can remember the way the class was silent the next morning, Javier’s desk empty. You nearly threw up from the emotion when you heard that she was gone. Your eyes blurred with tears. The loss was inconceivable to your twelve-year-old brain.

You rode your bike past his house that night. There was a lamp on in the room you knew to be his. His silhouette paced back and forth through the small, second-floor bedroom. You didn’t know what you could do or say, and so you rode off through the neighborhood.

His hair grew even darker after that. What had been a dark blonde became a light brown as middle school progressed. His anger flared up. He would throw punches when the kid acting as referee made a call Javier deemed to be bullshit.

You were something different. Javier found you fascinating the first time you truly interacted, seated together for a class. You were fourteen then, his face just starting to grow a bit of dark hair on his jaw. You were absorbed by your books, hardly talking to anyone and even sneaking it under the table during lectures.

One day, he called your name to catch your attention. You didn’t notice it, lost in your own world. He snatched the book from your hands and slammed it on the table. “Hey. Princesa, we got work to do.”

You frowned. “Give it back, Peñita.”

“Only after we finish this assignment. I don’t want homework tonight.” He stuffed the book in his backpack and tossed you a pencil.

“I won’t do it until you give it back,” you bartered coolly, crossing your arms and sitting back in the chair. “And I have more willpower than you. That’s a fact.”

He glared at you for a moment, the both of you staring the other down. It lasted quite a while, more than you expected. Javier broke first, handing you your book and grumbling over the worksheet.

You became better partners after that. Javier even apologized for it two weeks later. You forgave him, and something about his smile made your heart flutter around in your ribcage.

That started the friendship. You’d walk together in the halls, chatting about your parents and sports and homework for the night. Then middle school became high school and things changed between you, even though nothing you did was different.

Javier had always been a good athlete. He became the first-string running back for the high school, leading them to state his freshman year. When you walked together in the halls now, there was an expectation from the others. Boys and girls only walked together if they were couples, and a star football player was a coveted date.

You’d explained that to him. “Javi, as much as I love you, and you know I do, people are gonna think we’re together. I don’t want you to have to deal with that,” you’d pleaded. “I’d be ruining your chances. I think it’s better if we walk separately now.”

Javier nodded. He had to play along. He couldn’t let you know that in the past few months, he’d begun to feel things for you he’d never felt before. He had dreams about you at night, the kind where he’d wake up to damp sheets. He’d noticed your body changing, and his changed too. He thought about you when he’d lie awake at night, his hand in his boxers. The hormones were beginning to pump through Javier’s blood in a way that may have never really ever stopped.

From then on, you’d walk alone in the hall. Your nose was buried in a book at first, navigating it alone. Then you’d made friends, and you’d talk with people as you slammed your locker shut. You’d give Javier a wave, leading him to be roughhoused by his teammates who took him in as one of their own.

You became different from him. You were known for being an artist and a writer. You embraced the loving spirit of the 60s’ culture and made warm oil paintings of fields and flowers, wrote poetry that won awards, and even wrote a collection of short stories. You weren’t a hippie, but you were artsy. Javi became a bit of a jock.

The pressure grew to be too much in the middle of Javier’s junior season. It was the end of fall. You were both 17. You’d stopped maintaining a friendship now, far from as close as you’d been in the earlier days. You waved at him in the hall and that was it. It changed when the stress of being an athlete pushed on Javier’s brain until it popped. He quit the team, spending his time after school in his bedroom at home. He no longer proudly wore the team’s t-shirts or his letter jacket.

You heard about it through rumors. You didn’t talk to Javier. He kept his head down in the halls now. There were dark circles under his eyes. He’d sit in the library for hours, forcing himself to cram knowledge into his brain. If he wouldn’t be going to college for football now, he figured, he’d better get smart fast.

You’d sat at a table across the library as you worked on your chemistry homework. You glanced up. Javier looked down. He’d been looking at you. You stared at him until he looked up again. “Can I sit with you?” You’d mouthed, and he nodded. A small smile graced his face.

Packing up your textbook and papers, you dragged a chair over. “Hi, Javi,” you said. Your voice was quiet and painfully soft.

He smiles a little. “Hey, princesa.”

It’s quiet for a moment, the both of you staring at your papers and pretending like you were working. You weren’t. “I missed you,” you finally admitted after the silence passed.

His heart skipped a beat. “I missed you too. Probably more than you missed me.”

You shook your head. “I was wrong. I liked walking with you in the halls. I miss that, I miss us,” you admit, your hand resting over his. He looked up at you with the big brown eyes you’ve always loved, and your smile softened. “Your hair is so dark now, Peñita.”

He nodded a little. “It just keeps going. I don’t know if it will ever stop.”

“You’re funny,” you chuckled and retracted your hand. “How have you been? I heard about the football thing.”

He sighed softly. “It was too much. Not me, not anymore. I hated it.”

“Who are you now, then?” You asked quietly.

He looked up at you. “I don’t know.”

You’d smiled. “I can help you find out.”

That’s how your friendship began again.

It wasn’t a friendship for long, not with how you noticed Javier had changed. His hair was that warm, dark, chocolate color, his nose finally fit his face, he’d grown stronger and leaner and taller. He’d acquired a different sense of confidence, a different posture and walk. But it was clear: he was still your Javi. The one who stole your book all those years ago.

You’d grown even more beautiful over your time apart, he noticed. You’d become self assured and confident too and it showed. You had a little mean streak, and Javier loved it more than life itself. He got a little weak at the knees when you’d tease him.

He’d become a social outcast, essentially abandoning his place in the social hierarchy that high schools provide. When you knocked on his door a few days later, Chucho answered, slightly confused. “Hello.”

“Hi,” you said, smiling apologetically. “I’m a friend of Javi’s, I’m here to study with him.”

The older man was a mirror of Javier many years from now. He had a strong nose too, and a worn face. It made lines when he’d smiled. “I didn’t know Javi had many friends anymore.”

You shrugged. “Well, I think you’re right. But… I’m here.”

Javi jogged down the stairs, frowning when he saw his father at the door. You came inside and studied and Javier couldn’t help but to beam at you. Studying wasn’t much of studying. As you’d sidetracked the work and started conversing, Javier leaned in as if he was going to kiss you. You stopped him, but kept his face close. “Not now, Javi. I want it to be perfect. But I do want to kiss you.”

He’d panicked when you’d stopped him, but your words reassured him, and he breathed a chuckle. “Sneak out with me tonight.”

You agreed.

12:30 A.M. rolled around. You pocketed a pack of your dad’s cigarettes and a lighter and rode your bike to the pond nearby.

Javier sat there waiting. He was wrapped in a leather jacket, jeans covering his long legs as he sat by the side of the pond. Crickets chirped and birds called and when he looked at you, your heart fell apart in your chest. It never really glued itself back together. Not even to this day.

You sat next to him, and he put an arm around your shoulders. You couldn’t wait any longer, and you leaned in and kissed him and he was absolutely perfect. His soft lips pressed back against yours, those hands buried themselves in your hair. You broke away a second later and both of you grinned at each other. It was only seconds more before he pulled you in for the second kiss you’d ever had in your life.

That night was not only Javier’s first kiss but the first time he smoked a cigarette. You pulled one thin stick from the pack and placed it between his lips, lighting the end.

He was a natural at it, unlike you, who’d tried before and choked and spluttered on the smoke. You were better at it now, able to handle yourself. He breathed in and out and passed it to you, and he looked so effortlessly cool and sexy and beautiful that you didn’t take a drag, you grabbed his face and kissed him again.

You were so many firsts for Javier. His first kiss, his first cigarette, his first fuck. You’d done it in the back of his truck, on a hot night where you parked in a field far from the town and rolled all of the windows down. You finally got to feel his strong body, got to feel his passion for you as he tugged on your lip with his teeth and pushed inside of you. It was sheer bliss for both of you, even if he never made you orgasm that night.

It didn’t take long for the two of you to figure that out. Javier was a natural, his hands wandering and feeling everything your body had to offer until they found just the right spot to make you cry his name into the hot Texas night. You snuck out with him often, smoked and fucked in his house when Chucho was gone, or by that pond.

You talked a lot after. You were the first he opened up to about his mother. He missed her like hell. He told you that he wanted to work in some kind of law enforcement. He thought drug enforcement might suit him. You opened up about your own trauma to him, and he held you as you cried into his body. He’d kissed your forehead and told you he promised that nothing would ever happen to you when he’s around, and it was completely believable because Javier was like some deity to you. He was strong and warm and loving and kind and beautiful and you thought, truly, that he could do no wrong.

He never betrayed that trust either. Javier was a wonderful boyfriend to you in the daylight hours too. You’d study together, go on bike rides or just drive around in his truck. You spent almost every weekend with him. Chucho adored you too, loved your humor and kindness and most of all, your love for his son. Your family didn’t like Javier much, so you simply avoided your house with him.

Javier was so proud when he first pulled up your driveway in his truck soon after you began again. He worked for the Villafañes down the road as a farmhand, a summertime assistant to the aging man who lived there. He saved his earnings all summer and split the cost with Chucho. He’d had it for 8 months and it had been on the verge of the junkyard the entire time.

It was a piece of shit, and you both knew it. It was a deep red, rusty and broken down. The shocks were terrible and made it bounce like a bull in a ring. It didn’t matter, because it was his.

He’d pick you up in that truck and drive all night. The two of you sang along to the radio, then would talk, then make out in the backseat and drive again. You loved Javier, and you admitted it quickly. He said it immediately after you.

People looked at you like you were crazy when you held Javier’s hands in the hall. Wasn’t he a mental case? Who would give up something like he had, and for no apparent reason? You didn’t give a shit, even if your friends told you Javier was no good. They didn’t know him, didn’t know that his middle name was Fernando and he hated it and that his mother’s favorite gem, ruby, was yours too, that Chucho told you Javi wanted to marry you someday or that Javier loved to nudge your neck with his nose after sex, both of you warm with the hot Texan air flowing through his open windows.

You told them they didn’t get it, and they said you were the one who didn’t. You’ve got everything going for you. Why risk it with the nut job?

Javier remained a pariah, an outcast, but you didn’t give a shit. You called out his name in the hall and waved, sat with him at lunch and laughed until you choked on the terrible school meal. You were loud and affectionate, and it brought Javi back from the fringes of high school society he’d been banished to.

Javier worked in fields and barns to earn money, building his muscles. You worked in customer service, building your restraint. Your town had opened a drive-in restaurant a few years before, complete with roller-skating waitresses. Being a skilled skater, you signed up.

It was fun, but a pain in the ass some days. Customer service was rarely enjoyable.

The highlight of the summer after your junior year was Javier pulling up to the restaurant every few days. “Peñita!” You’d squeal and put in an order for just what he always wanted- strawberry milkshake, double patty cheeseburger, large fries.

“Hey, Princesa,” he’d mumble back with a small smile, leaning in for a kiss. He looked like a Texan James Dean, white t-shirt cuffed and worn jeans. His dark hair was gelled back, though much of it fell loose from his long day of hauling crops for Don Villafañe. This coolness was contrasted by his shitty truck, dust caking the windows, and the fact that he was far from blonde now.

You’d fold your arms over his open window and kiss him, tripping over your skates in your excitement. He’d laugh and tease you, and he’d always give you the cherry off the top of his milkshake. You began telling your coworkers to put two cherries on top, so that he could have one too. He still gave both to you.

During your senior year, Javier gave you his class ring. It was large and bulky on your fingers, thinner than his, but it made you beam with pride as you walked through the halls. You’d cried when he gave it to you, promising he’d replace it with a diamond someday. You knew it would never last that long.

Senior year was uneventful. You went to prom with Javier, wearing a peach colored dress. Javier wore his father’s tuxedo with a tie to match your color. The photo was awkward but sweet, the two of you clearly in love. You graduated equally uneventfully, and the two of you spent the night in his truck, out in a field, promising sweet nothings through the sound of skin slapping skin. “Here’s to the class of ‘66,” Javier murmured into your neck.

You had big dreams, and Javier’s were far different. He planned on attending Texas A&M, not far away. You’d earned a fantastic scholarship at a small liberal arts college in Upstate New York. You both knew these things, but Javier seemed determined to make it work. He knew the two of you loved each other; shouldn’t that be enough?

You felt guilty the entire summer. You had anxiety attacks quite a bit, felt that you were leading Javier on. Then, another part of you thought, he must know. He must not believe you could pull off a long distance relationship with only letters and phone calls.

Javier passed the summer blissfully unaware. He was young and in love: he thought there was nothing that could go wrong. You still spent time together, more than you ever had, in fact. Something gnawed away at your insides as the time passed.

On the rare days neither of you worked, you’d find somewhere deserted and sit with your legs dangling from his tailgate. You’d nick liquor and cigarettes from your parents and share them, laughing and talking. Planning a future you knew wouldn’t come.

The day before you left, you spent the day with your boyfriend. You had a picnic dinner, complete with some stolen beers from Chucho’s refrigerator. You sat on a blanket in a nearby field, watching as the afternoon dwindled down to an orange-hazed sky.

As the sun set, tears formed in your eyes. “Javi?” You asked him softly, your voice cracking.

“What is it, princesa?” He returned, pulling you closer into his side. The tall grass swayed around you, and you bit your lip to stop from choking out a sob.

“I love you, Javier. And I always will.” But as you said the words, your actions said otherwise. You removed your class ring from your finger, placing it in his palm. “But, I think… I think we need to be our own people for a while. Maybe someday we’ll meet again. Maybe things will be different, but I’m going to New York and you’re staying here. Fuck, you could be drafted, and I-“

Javier stopped you, pulling away and looking at you in the face. His eyes showed his heartbreak. “I thought we were gonna get married, be together forever.”

You choked out a sob. “Javi, I want to. I do. But I can’t. I can’t live that kind of life.” You wanted to travel, to do things, to live freely and be whoever you wanted. Javier wanted to stay in Laredo and work in law enforcement. The two weren’t compatible.

“There’s nothing stopping you,” he begged, taking your hand in both of his. “Please, I’d move to New York with you, or you could go to A&M with me, please,” he asked, his eyes welling with tears. “You’re the love of my life, baby.”

You couldn’t look at him. The emotion was too much to bear. “Javier,” you whined and pulled your hand from his. “Please don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

His heartbroken stare makes you cry harder into your hands. You stood, ready to find your way to the road and walk home.

Javier caught you by the waist, then removed your hands from your face. “I-I understand. I do. But… kiss me one last time?”

You stared at him, tears staining your face and his cheeks equally damp. You nodded and Javier cupped your face, kissing you slowly and lovingly. It was tender and bittersweet. It was not the way you’d kiss him at the drive-in restaurant or in the back of his truck. It was not the way you’d sneak a kiss goodbye in front of Chucho. It was desperate. You both knew what it meant. Maybe that’s why it lasted so long.

You broke away and pressed your forehead to his before finding the dirt road and beginning the walk home. You needed to finish packing, and was getting dark. You didn’t dare to ask Javier to drive you home. You feared you might change your mind if you were around him a second longer.

Javier never saw you after that. It was partially serendipitous and partially out of effort.

When he returned home on winter break or for Thanksgiving, he contained himself to Chucho’s house, or he’d see one or two friends he still had. That was about it. If he knew you weren’t in town, he’d go out and have a good time. It would all go downhill if you were there, and he knew it, so he resigned himself to long nights with his father.

You wanted to see him again. You drove past his house many times when you were home from New York, seeing the light on in his old room again. Every time, you stopped just a little longer than you should have at the stop sign yards from his house. You contemplated pulling into the driveway and begging him to take you back. It never happened.

Once or twice, you even caught a glimpse of dark-chocolate hair through the front windows of the house. It made your heart stop and your eyes tear up.

You moved out of town when you graduated. You started a career near your college, far from your hometown that was almost considered Laredo. Your wish was fulfilled.

Javier’s was too- well, only partially. He stayed in Laredo. He worked in law enforcement there for a while before he got picked to work with the DEA. It didn’t matter what kind of job he got. He didn’t have you, and that made him miserable.

You’d been the one to save him. Now he didn’t even know if you still had the same last name you did when he slipped his class ring onto your finger, when he murmured your full name and promised one day that he’d get you a gorgeous ruby and diamond band instead of that class ring and he’d change that last name to Peña.

Javier got a new truck recently. It’s nice. The first car he ever bought that wasn’t used, actually. It’s a deep red, the same color of his first car. Ruby, he named it.

He thinks about you all the goddamn time. Nothing could change that, not time or hookups. He sighs as he thinks about the years since you’ve seen him, while he drives around in the pouring rain. Why? How?

He never slept around in college, too lovesick and still hoping you’d call and want to meet with him, would want to rekindle what you’d had.

He forced himself to get moving after that. He had a few girlfriends when he worked for the Webb County Sheriff's Office. He even got serious with one.

Lorraine was beautiful and kind and funny. He loved the way she’d shotgun a beer and then kiss him, her lips tasting of the fermented liquid. She was a good time, a great partier. He asked her out and things went well, he supposed.

She wanted different things from Javier. He’d been starting to grow restless, wanting to leave Laredo. Lorraine, however, wanted to settle down. She wanted the whole thing: a big ranch-style, a fireplace in the living room, four or five babies with Javier’s brown eyes, running around and laughing.

As much as he wanted it, he couldn’t. He nodded along and played the game, telling her that he’d do that for her. He’d provide for her and give her all the kids he wanted. He’d be a good father and a great husband and everything would be good.

It was more to himself that he said those things. He wanted to believe they were true, really, but he had the feeling you’d had years ago. He wanted her, wanted such a calming life, but at the same time, he didn’t want it. He wanted to get out and do things and feared being fenced in.

He proposed to Lorraine. Got her a nice diamond ring and everything. She’d cried and kissed him and he’d forced himself to smile but it wasn’t genuine. At least she didn’t know that.

The wedding was planned. It was going to be a grand affair for the town, nearly everyone invited. Everyone was like family to the members of the town. Lorraine got an expensive, fluffy white dress and Javier bought a tuxedo.

The ceremony was supposed to start at 5:00. Everyone sat patiently as the clock ticked past it. They didn’t know a thing. They didn’t know Lorraine was pacing the church basement, her heart clenched in fear. No one had seen Javier. Not even the groomsmen.

Then it became 5:10, 5:30. At 5:45, Lorraine’s mother began to quietly tell the church that the ceremony wouldn’t be happening today. The disgruntled attendees left, wondering what happened.

Javier had ran. He drove out of Laredo, straight for Dallas. He wanted out. He’d left early in the morning, not even saying goodbye to his father. He was already on a plane to Washington D.C. when the bride realized she was no longer getting married today.

He got a job working for the DEA. They’d offered him one a few months ago, but he’d declined. He wanted to stay in Laredo with Lorraine, he’d bluffed. Things hit the fan when he began training for the new job.

He fucked every woman in sight. He didn’t care who they were: if they wanted him, he wanted them. He never stopped smoking, developed a love and almost dependence on whiskey. When he went to Colombia, he paid for his first ever escort.

It was what he deserved, he told himself. The one woman he’d ever loved left him. He had left the one person who ever gave a shit about him. Ruined her life and left her with a sense of anxiety whenever she was in that church’s basement as she remembered.

He doesn’t deserve attachment. He doesn’t deserve someone caring for him. That’s why he sleeps around. That’s why he’s left so many lovers in the dust.

Stop thinking about that, Javier tells himself. He whips a U-turn, opening the window and hanging a hand out of it. It forces himself to return to reality, to get out of his goddamn head and to not crash this new truck. The rain pelts his skin and he frowns. It never rains around Laredo, and it’s the one night he’s in town.

He pulls into the old drive-in restaurant, thinking back to the happy days. He can still see your baby-faced grin as you skated over to him, long legs pushing you along. He could nearly taste the strawberry milkshake on his tongue. It’s closed for the night, since it’s in the early hours of the morning now.

He jumps as a car pulls into the spot next to him. He looks down, knowing that whoever it is will likely recognize him. Everyone recognizes him around here. He’s not in the mood to talk.

“They’re closed,” a voice calls out from the other car, and Javier’s heart stops. He’d know that voice anywhere, even if it spoke a different language.

He looks up and his eyes meet yours for the first time in twenty years. They’re still just as beautiful, still glimmering. “Peñita,” you breathe out as it clicks in your mind.

He’s aged beautifully. His dark hair is neatly pushed back, though it’s a little shorter than he used to keep it. His face has lines now, heavy from the stress of his job. His eyes look weary and tired.

You get out of your car. Javier does the same. You look at him, standing there, with a new truck that’s the same color of his very first piece of shit pickup. “Nice truck,” you comment.

He smiles softly. “Thanks. It’s new.”

You walk around the front of your car, eyes wide in disbelief. There’s hurt on his face and you know you’re the cause of it. “Javier… I missed you.”

He looks down at you, now standing right in front of him. “I missed you more.”

You throw your arms around him and hug him tight. Your eyes water with tears as you squeeze him, wishing this moment would never end. He hugs you back, those arms still strong and protective.

He presses a soft kiss to your head. He mutters his nickname for you quietly. His voice is different now, huskier and deeper. It’s a beautiful sound. His lips are buried in your hair but you can hear it all the same. “Princesa.”

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