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tarjapearce · 4 months

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Lips Anon! Okay, imagine imagine... You are the 18 yr old daughter of Miguel's secretary. Your mom had to work harder because of the death of her husband/your father, and managed to become Miguel's Secretary. Secretary has a huge crush on Miguel after becoming his secretary, but he's after something else... You. He's not the kindest of men here. He tells you if you ever reject or tell he'll fire your mom. A dark fate awaits you...I'm sorry in a dark mood lol love u

Remember when I said I wanted something dark? Jksjsksj found this in the ask box and YESSS BABY

WICKED GAMES

ShamelessCEO! Miguel O'Hara x Reader

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT. Power play, power imbalance, smut, No proofread, fingering, slight anal play, implicit mentions of squirt, oral (F receiving), Dom! Miguel, Corruption Kink, Mild degratadion, blackmailing, nipple play, cum, Dark Miguel, slight angst, dubious morals.

Summary: Miguel offers you a deal you can't refuse, even if you wanted to.

"Bend over, preciosa."

The voice you had been obeying for the last month ordered. Ever deep and sultry, it had butterflies rioting in your stomach.

Your skin crawled when two deft fingers hovered and dragged over the outline of a flimsy piece of mesh fabric, that accomplished poorly it's role of a thong, leaving little to nothing to his already wild and rampant imagination.

Hands trailed the supple globes of flesh your rear always carried, awaiting to be spanked. It was his ritual before he messed with your senses, his new favorite hobby.

The sight made him groan. Lace and tulle adorned your body in the most skimpiest of ways you had only seen in famous catalogues of lingerie.

And somehow he had turned you into his personal Polly Pocket. If he told you to undress in the middle of his office, you'd obey. If he told you to put on some lingerie that barely covered your tits or holes, you'd obey.

And if he told you to open up, you'd sit ontop of his desk and spread your legs.

Refusal of his antics would only bring devastating consequences to your already little and tattered home. Or so, he had cleared up a month ago. He was shameless.

A shameless CEO of the Medical Research Facility in Alchemax, Miguel O'Hara, that also happened to be your mother's boss.

A boss which, the poor woman had been crushing over for months now. She'd come home with a brightest beam on her face, something that only your father provoked when he lived. She'd gush about him like a teenager in love. She'd ramble for hours if she could and for what you heard he seemed to be a pretty decent man.

A sudden heart attack had left you both widowed and fatherless.

But life didn't stopped. Debts and bills that always arrived on time in the mailbox, the house's mortgage that had slowly chipped away your mother's sanity, had made you drop out of college to find a job and help around with the expenses. And still wasn't enough.

You had seen the exhaustion in your mother's eyes, her depleting smile faltering through the months after she was fired from her current job, trying to be strong for the both as you turned into the main provider, until she landed a job at Alchemax.

Things improved, you quit your second job and had the option to do some trade school. Life gave you a little slack.

Until you assisted to a gala with your mom.

She had enough to afford a beautiful pair of dresses and a lovely makeover that had left you both looking mesmerizing. She tried her best into have a bit of Miguel's attention. She was beautiful, a milf according to your male friends. Nearly in her late thirties.

You didn't want to interrupt whatever thing rich men did in these sort of events, but your mother, stunning and stubborn as she was wanted to greet her boss, despite your initial refusals. You didn't have the heart to say no to her.

And no wonder why she was over the moon with him. Handsome was an understatement, his imposing aura made your eyes avert from his form, skin crawled when you both stepped closer to his personal space. Like if presenting yourselves to the big bad wolf.

"Mr. O'Hara?" The man in question turned to your mother with a piercing stare, watching her with his usual cold look until his brown eyes landed on you. "This is my daughter."

Twinkling with a discreet amusement, ignoring your mother's words to take you in completely.

"Nice to meet you, hermosa."

He squeezed your hand in a gentle and polite handshake while a brief smile appeared. One look, was all he needed for his brain to whirlwind with thoughts he rarely indulged. Miguel was bored.

But not for long.

In the rest of the party you felt someone watching your every move from the shadows.

----

Call it a coincidence, fate or whatever powerful strength above you that put you in the same elevator as him when you were about to visit your mother.

"This is the executive elevator"

Shit.

Your mind immediately reprimanded you for not being careful enough

"I'm sorry."

You were about to leave when the doors slammed shut on your face, your feet stepping back. He had closed the doors.

"I didn't know it was exclusive use only."

Miguel took a brief look at his watch, "It's alright. We're going to the same floor anyways."

Of course, your mother worked in the same floor as he was. Silence however made a space between you, comfortable enough until Miguel broke it.

"Do you study?"

Your throat cleared while giving a quiet nod.

"Work?"

"Yeah. Uhm... Today is my day off actually. Just wanted to say hi to mom."

How cute.

Miguel chuckled while the elevator kept moving upwards, taking it's time. His presence alone had your arms holding yourself, squeezing at the flesh nearby the elbows and heart pounding up your throat.

"You two seem close." Miguel tilted his head as his eyes remained on you, seizing you with the same stare he gave you at the party.

"Oh, heh. Yeah. It's just us. Dad died some years ago."

"Sorry to hear about it."

You shrugged as your feet shuffled. The butterflies in your stomach tickled your insides, blood rushed involuntarily to your cheeks the more scrutinized you felt.

"Thanks. Life goes on though."

"True. How much you get paid in your job?"

"W-What?" You had to blink a couple of times before facing him.

"Not much, that for sure."

He just hummed while his lips pursed. It was more than enough info to have his plan set into motions.

"Do you have a boyfriend?"

A derisive snort came your way, "No. I don't have time for it."

"Too busy working?."

"Exactly. Mom needs all the help she can."

Miguel squeezed the metallic bar behind him. It was perfect. Absolutely perfect.

"You're a good woman."

The compliment deepened the flush. A meek thank you was music to his ears and he pulled out a card to then giving it to you. His cologne mushing your senses into a pulp.

Your brow quirked and again, he focused all the attention in you.

"If you need extra help, call me. I think I need a personal assistant"

"Wait... I thought mom was already doing that?"

"She's my secretary, not my assistant. Different jobs. But the choice is all yours."

The elevator's door dinged, finally releasing you both.

"I'll await for your response."

With those final words he left you alone, setting his plan in motion.

----

You were fired. Without much explanation, or a valid reason other than 'We're cutting people short."

It was too soon, too sudden and way too coincidental. It had only been two days since you talked to Miguel, and two days things had been tense at work.

When your mom knew about the news, she wasn't pleased but couldn't really blame you, and when you told her about Miguel, the hesitation was more than enough to send you spiraling in anxiety.

"He's a demanding person, cupcake. Are you sure you wanna do this?"

Resolution only increased when the new mortgage bill rested on the table.

"I know it won't be easy, but I have to. We're almost done with the house's payments."

"That's my job, sweetie. You can go back to college and-"

"Get even more in debt again? No. Mom, look. I know you don't like me to help you, but I wanna do it. Okay?"

She didn't say much, but supported you.

His phone rang and rang to no avail.

I'm the morning however a text message had you rushing through everything.

—Interview at 10.

----

You made it. barely. Mom helped you to dry the sweat forming in your forehead as she announced your presence to Miguel.

"You can do this, ok? If not, don't worry."

She kissed your forehead and let you in. A security door locked behind you.

You knew Alchemax was rotting in money, but his office was ridiculous. Expensive portraits adorning the beige walls, seats made out of the fine leathers, perfect for hosting a personal party if he wished, and finally your eyes met him. Sitting in his throne, watching you with his usual piercing eyes.

His hands motioned you to follow him as he entered through the previous door you saw before to reveal a much more personal space. A semicircular leather couch, with a bar in front.

Bottles of different liqueurs and colors had you looking back and forth through them. Cups and glasses neatly arranged in them, he went behind the bar and served himself some whiskey.

Your surprise at the place grandeur didn't go unnoticed by him. It made him smirk.

"Want a drink?"

"Uh, no. I'm alright. Thanks."

He downed a shot of whiskey while sitting on the couch, to then pat the space next to him.

Hesitation started to nest out when you sat, his aura and form swallowing you whole.

"Let's go straight to the point."

Eyes darted back at his face while nodding.

"Of course. What would my functions be?"

"None of that boring bureaucratic shit, that's for sure."

You blinked, confused, but your senses flared in danger when a bold hand of his rested on your knee, gently squeezing you.

"Uhm... Mr. O'Hara-"

"I need your full commitment, if you're working for me. Can you do that?"

"I-I need to know what's gonna be my job, if I'm-"

"If?" A disapproving array of 'tsk' came out of him, his whole frame faced you now while he loosened his tie.

"I don't think you're understanding, sweetie. I don't want ifs here. I like a yes or no. You see, your mother is a good employee."

You gulped, not really enjoying where this conversation was going.

"And you're jobless. A lot of debts to pay come your mailbox every month" Your face recoiled from his lingering touch as he removed a strand of hair out of your face, "Must be hard for her, taking all of that in her shoulders"

His hand slid on your shoulder and you casted your eyes away.

"But you, are brave to help her. I like brave girls like you."

It was more than enough for you to stand in a rush to leave, but he grabbed your wrist with enough force to stop you, but immediately pulled you against his chest, back colliding against his solid wall of muscles.

"Don't be afraid, cielito. I won't hurt you."

"Let me go, please."

"Why would I let my new assistant go?"

"I don't want to-"

"The only thing you have to do is be there for me whenever I require it from you."

"I'm not turning into your fucking fuck toy!"

His hand covered yours for a second to tone down your voice.

"Fuck toy? Quite the imagination you have. Let me put it simple and straight for you. You leave? Your mom does too."

Angry tears flooded your eyes while he squeezed your chin with a lazy smile

"But if you stay, and take the job, "He nuzzled your neck softly, sending shivers down your spine," I'll give her a raise."

You stilled for a moment and he let you go, to pour himself some more whiskey.

Numbness spreaded through your head, the glass clinking echoed in the little space. Head felt buzzing and spinning with so many thoughts that screamed and pushed in your head to come up to a proper reply.

Leave it!

No, your mom, the mortgage-

Take it!

He's rich, and mom needs a break from money, you're so close paying up everything!

No! He's bad. You're not a slut! He only wants your body!

But mom would be happy...

A hand on your cheek, stroking you lips put a halt to all the rebelling thoughts, forcing your focus to go back to him.

"So, yes or no?"

----

"W-Wait!" Your plea came out as a shaky moan as he rubbed in lazy circles your clit over the lace panties he made you wear.

Lace and tulle were his favorites, you noted. The first thing he did was to give you the rules.

"Someone could enter at any moment!"

If he'd need you, you'd assist him in any way he saw fit. You wouldn't call him for anything besides business. Everything would happen between you both, was to remain between you and whatever the place he chose.

He shrugged "We're working. Ahora callate." (Shut up)

You wouldn't call him by his name, Mr. O'Hara or Sir would suffice. Contraceptives were a must. No kissing, you weren't to wear underwear around him unless absolute necessary and certainly no interaction past your stablished contract.

He picked a red silk and mesh set of panties, that perfectly adjusted at your size.

His thumb applied the gradual pressure that had you covering your mouth and trapping his hand between your legs.

"Why am I not hearing you?"

His hand slapped with enough force your pussy to send a jolt through your body, ending in a loud gasp.

"Don't cover your mouth. Understood?"

"Y-Yes, sir."

Mom was so excited when you told her you had accepted the job offer.

His hands fumbled with his buckle, moving past the layers of clothes to release his proud and girthy cock free. You were sprawled all over his desk, tits exposed from the confinements of your button shirt.

He trailed a finger between the moist and supple pair of lips that swallowed the silk, soaking them when he pushed it above your pulsating cunt.

Breathings heaved, and a tiny whimper was brave enough to escape as he rubbed his tip between your clothed folds.

His grunts and foreign mumbling had your skin tickling. He slapped his cock before pressing tighter against your pussy, rubbing urgently and desperately.

You groaned as your breaths turned curt and shallow. One of his hands pinned your hips down in place, his cock moved sideways on your clit with such speed it had you sputtering and trembling.

He covered your mouth, drowning the delicious cry that announced your climax, as he glazed your folds with his cum. Hot and thick blobs of cum permeated the fabric, burning your skin deliciously.

The flush in his cheeks and ears spreaded through his face. Plump lips panted and heaved as his eyes trailed over your convulsing body. Taut peaks swayed at the pace of your breathings.

The phone next to you rang, startling you both. With the remaining strength in your body, you stood to fix your clothing and hair to look the least unkempt as possible.

"Mr. O'Hara, the meeting with Aaron is within two hours. Would you like to confirm?"

Your mother's voice pierced through the intercom. Your eyes casted away from him and the crime scene.

There wasn't an aftercare per say, it all revolved around his pleasure after all. But apparently he loved having you marked with his scent. But you weren't one for following such things, too uncomfortable to walk around with cum stained panties, so you threw them away and cleaned yourself up in his personal's bathroom, then went back to your mini office on his right.

----

At first there was nothing more but him jerking off to oblivion and cumming on your panties, that always were discarded afterwards, no matter how cute they were.

But as days passed, his ways turned bolder. He had asked you to get undressed and give him a show on his chair. Although shy at first, he talked through the whole process, training you to the point of cumming with three fingers inside you all while he recorded your climax with one hand, and stroked himself with the other.

But it wasn't enough. On a particular day, he felt like having you sit on his lap, mounds out, one on his mouth as his cock was trapped between your thighs, covered in the slick your drenched folds drowned him in.

Tongue swirled while he suckled, earning lovely mewls from your mouth. Your phone rang, and he groaned, frustrated.

The vibrations of his grumble made you whimper, while shaky hands grabbed the trinket. Mom's number on the screen.

"Pick up." His tongue twirled on your nipple once more as his arms pulled you upwards to sit on his lap. One of his hands darted on your soaked swell to prod two fingers around, but stopped upon seeing you looking at him.

"Pick the fuck up" With a gulp you took some air before pressing the green button. It was your mom's day off

"H-Hey mom"

You had to pill the phone away as he slid in the two digits inside and you bit your lip.

"-you? How is it going?"

"I'm doing just fine."

His fingers prodded and buried themselves deeper while wriggling inside. Brown deep eyes never faltered in watching you. Engraving each and single one of your expressions as he moved his fingers deftly inside you, leaving wet slurps of your cunt echoing the more he moved. His mouth sucked the hardened nub with such hunger it had you biting your lip to avoid moaning.

"What do you want for dinner? I'm making pasta. Is that alright?"

"Y-Yeah. That's-"

Your spine arched as you watched his fingers disappearing inside your slick and folds, "That's great." You clenched your jaw while your head threw back.

"Okay! See you at night, sweetie. Love you!"

"Lov... Love you too"

Miguel grabbed your phone and hung the call, to hear you as he increased the pace of his fingering. The tight knot coiling into your lower pit, spreading and consuming everything like a wild fire.

Miguel could only watch your blissful face as you gushed all over his hand.

"Such a good girl."

He mumbled through rough licks and sucks, leaving your nipple puffed and sensitive.

And now a month after getting used to a certain part of his antics, you were bent over the desk, flimsy mesh fabric covering your awaiting hole.

"Beautiful" His praising was odd, yet it left a tingling and warm shimmy on your heart. He pulled you to stand again and pulled the panties off.

He put one of your legs ontop of the sturdy surface and kneeled behind you. Face immediately sinking between your thighs and flesh. A yelp flew out in the air as he slurped and played with your clit, two of his fingers teasing your butthole.

Papers were crumpled underneath your hands as he delved his tongue and coiled it inside your weeping pussy. Souping and guzzling down your slick. His fingers sunk in your tighter hole, prodding softly.

"Look at that" He mumbled while sucking the outer labia before dribbling his tongue up and down, skin full of goosebumps, as your jaw clenched, trying to not scream at the unbearable sensation in your holes.

"You didn't want this job and now look at you." He slapped your glutes so hard it left a flushed pink imprint on it. And it only made you wetter, "Such a good little toy for me."

His fingers in your butthole prodded and spreaded. His hot breath fanned on your cunt, a trail of your slick and his lips connected on eachother.

"Feels good doesn't it?"

Miguel pulled your hips backwards, pressing your pussy against his mouth, devouring you like a starved man. Your knees bucked and your toes curled in. He gasped for air while you mumbled the most incoherent things that came out your mouth, a clear reflect on what he did to your mind.

"Feels good to be paid to be used, Hm?"

Another spank and it had you whimpering a delicious 'Yes'

"You love when I use you, preciosa?"

The tip his fingers rubbed and poked at your insides.

"Y-Yes"

"See? Honesty can take you places."

You noted that he'd never go to the extent of fucking you, despite the implant nesting within your left arm.

"P-Please"

"Hm? What was that?"

His fingers dug deeper and faster as they hooked inside you, reaching easily that sweet spot that had you sobbing and pushing your hips against it.

"Please, sir!"

Miguel's dark smirk widened when he suddenly stopped, just when you were about to cum. A frustrated whine came off your lips and he grabbed you by the hair, cornering you against him and the desk.

"Go change, sweetie. That's all for today."

"But-"

"I said, that's fucking it for today, understood?"

"Yes, sir"

A shamed pant came off your mouth while getting off the desk, hips protested, but you made your way towards the bathroom.

Reality came flooding like a tsunami on your thoughts. You had been too carried away to remember it was all a game.

You cleaned yourself up before beginning to change.

He'd always have the upper hand. And no matter how much you tried to not react to his ministrations, your body always disobeyed greatly.

Your hair was fixed as you put on the outer layers of clothes. Miguel had made you admit all those shameful things you were avoiding to say.

At first it was just to keep mom happy and away from trouble. Hell, she even doubled her praising for Miguel and how much a good boss he was. And your paycheck always came on time, he had kept his sword like he said he would.

And still the emotional toll of such choice you had taken was finally catching up with you.

It all was a game. And you his favorite toy.

#t writes✨#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #atsv miguel #💋 anon #miguel o'hara smut #miguel ohara smut #miguel x y/n #miguel x you #miguel x reader #miguel imagine

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honeyhotteoks · 1 year

Text

this night together - chapter one (j.yh + s.mg)

chapter one: a safe place to land

summary: you're finally getting your dream job, working with some of the best dancers in the business, but a job change means a break in your healthcare coverage and suppressants these days are expensive. going into heat at the studio pretty much seems like the worst case scenario, but you find yourself in the care of two alphas who won't let you go through it alone. note: reader and the boys are not idols in this fic, but instead are part of the bb trippin dance crew. the idol group mentioned in the fic's name is 'new world' which was one of the early options for ateez's name, and i just thought that was cute. overall though, i know very little about dancing and choreography. i did my best to research what that field might be like, but please know there are likely inaccuracies. also.... i have no idea how healthcare coverage with jobs work in korea and my research wasn't too helpful. we're going with what i know which is often a ninety day waiting period before you get health coverage at a new job, which means reader here cannot afford her medication out of pocket. go with it, for me ♡

warnings: just.... so much smut including: heat, nesting, knotting, fingering, oral sex (f receiving), rough sex, big dick yunho, implied breeding kink (it's omegaverse so ya know), gratuitous praise to make reader feel better, lots of pet names, lots of heat symptoms like cramps, slick, and insatiable horniness.

pairings: alpha!yunho x alpha!mingi x omega!reader

genre: smut, abo/omegaverse, angst, fluff, romance, polyamory

word count: 13.6K

next chapter | AO3

The first sign is the headache, a low, dull throb at the back of your skull. It’s not a full-blown migraine yet, but it might become one and that’s your first indication that your heat is close. You’ve done your suppressant rationing and your bargaining and your plotting and planning, but in the end it’s going to come down to luck if you can make it through the recording.

You had asked the company about their heat leave policy in the most casual way that you could, still new enough to KQ that it seemed natural for an omega to be asking. You don’t know why you were surprised, but as always the policy is disappointing. Full health coverage only after ninety days of employment, and until then not only are your suppressants not covered any heat leave is fully unpaid.

You had studied your cycle calendar in detail and tried to map out the dates, but no matter how you drew it or cut up the last of your suppressants to try and extend the effects, your heat was going to fall on or around your first real performance. And it’s not like you’re an idol, it’s not like the camera will be focused on you, but the idea of letting your new crew down two months into being here is too fucked a thought to entertain.

Your throat feels dry after the first run through of the routine, unnaturally so, a tight cough building in the back of your throat as you try to hold it together. The minute the music fades you’re falling out of formation before anyone else and covering your mouth with your elbow, coughing dryly into your sleeve.

“You good?” San asks from his place next to you.

“Mhm,” You nod tightly, but the cough is lodged in your throat, “I just need to,”

A bottle of water is pushed into your hand and you nod in thanks, unscrewing the cap fast and knocking it back, letting the cold water soothe your throat.

“Are you sick, y/n?” San crosses his arms to appraise you better, ducking his head and getting a good look at you.

“No, no,” You take a deep breath now that you can and shake your head, “just dry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to slow us down.”

“Let’s take five,” Yunho announces from the front.

You take another sip of water and the group starts to break apart. The cool bottle keeps you grounded and as far from anxiety as you can possibly get with the knowledge of this hanging over you.

“You good?” Yujin, one of the few other female BB Trippin dancers, asks, her chest heaving as she jogs up to you.

“Yeah, yeah,” You assure her, “I just need a minute,”

She squeezes your shoulder before moving past you, and you lean back against the wall nearby before taking a deep breath. Your eyes go unfocused towards the mirror as you collect yourself, drinking more water and hoping that no one’s upset with the delay. You’re still new here, but so far you’ve been accepted into the fold well, only a few of the dancers more aloof, so focused on the work you haven’t had a chance to try and make friends. You hope they aren’t upset at your sudden need for a break right on the first run through on the big day. You feel hot eyes on you, and you focus, catching Minseok in the mirror. He’s always pleasant and polite, but never overly friendly, and when you catch his gaze momentarily you see that his jaw is tight and his throat jumps like a spasm as he swallows and averts his eyes from yours.

Your brow knits in confusion, but Yunho appearing next to you breaks the brief moment of concentration and you turn towards him.

His eyes are soft, but his face is still serious and wired into work, “You sure you’re good?”

“Definitely,” You protest, “really,”

He chews the inside of his lip for a moment before adjusting the cap on his head and holding out a little bottle of pills, “Your head?”

“How did you know?” You thought you were good at concealing it.

“You keep wincing when I put the high lights on,” He nods up towards the fluorescents, “migraine?”

“A little one,” You assure him, you know he’s got to be worried about you dropping out of formation right before recording, “but I got this,”

As the lead choreographer and director of today’s stage performance, he’s been on edge this week. He’s so incredibly focused on the finer details down to every precise placement, finger extension, facial expression. You’ve been a dancer for a long time, and you’ve worked behind idol groups before, but not like this. The atmosphere here is different, and working with New World doesn’t feel like backup dancing at all. And for Yunho, it’s become clear to you over the past couple of months that while he isn’t the boss, he is the leader here and he takes that responsibility incredibly personally.

But despite all that pressure and responsibility, he surprises you when he smiles at your admission, “I get them sometimes. Do you get auras?”

You shake your head.

“I do,” He offers you the bottle again, “it sucks, but you know, the light sensitivity is always the worst thing,”

You take the bottle and tip the migraine medication out into your palm, “Yeah,”

“Are you sure you don’t need to tap out?” He offers, voice a little softer so that it’s a conversation just between you, “I know you don’t want to, but I can’t have you falling on stage,”

“No, honestly, I wouldn’t put the team in that position,” You look up, trying your best to convey with your eyes that you can make it, even though the low throb in your skull says otherwise.

“Okay,” He nods once, “I just had to ask. Are you ready?”

“Ready,”

“Alright,” He takes a step away and moves back towards the main part of the room. This time he doesn’t adjust the lights, he keeps the room low lit and calm and he claps as he turns back to the room at large, “Let’s run it again. We have an hour before the van gets here, and then from there it’s go time. We ready?”

A chorus of yes echoes back, and you lend your voice to the mix, shaking off the pounding in your brain. You can do this. You can. Wooyoung punches your arm softly as he walks by you to get to his starting position, flashing you a smile and an encouraging nod. With a deep exhale you let it go, and you get to work.

By the time you finish the third run through, your muscles are screaming, but you’ve managed to hold the rest tightly in. The migration medication seems to be helping, and though you can sense Yunho continuing to glance at you in the mirror he seems pleased that you’re keeping up. You just need to make it through this day, and then you can let it all fall apart.

With a glance at your watch, the hour now up, you realize just how much more time there is to get through. It’s only six in the morning, the earliest you’ve had to get up and be ready for this job yet. You’ve been told that if you’re ever a supporting dancer for a comeback stage it will be even earlier, two or three to accommodate pre-recording time. For this though, you’re not filming a comeback stage. You’ll get to the studios alongside New World at around seven-thirty, spend at least an hour or two getting ready in the green room, and then from there it will be a waiting game, and you don’t really know how a show like this will go. Music shows are a well oiled machine of time management, but this type of larger long program for their survival show stage is something you just aren’t used to.

You just have to, without question, make it back home, but that might be eight hours from now or twelve, and that level of uncertainty makes your stomach churn.

On the bus you take stock. Sore muscles, dry throat, ever so slight cramping in your back, bubbling migraine, fatigue. You’re not yet feeling the waves of hot flashing blush or deep, burgeoning cramps, but it’s not too far off. It feels like at the very least the quarter suppressant you choked down this morning might be doing just enough to mask the scent of your pre-heat, and that’s the best you can do. At least for now, no one’s noticed how close you are to the edge. No one, except possibly Wooyoung.

“Here,” He says from his seat next to you, offering you a lozenge from a bag, “for your throat,”

You stare for a second at the offering before your brain fires and you accept one with quiet thanks. Omegas often keep cooling lozenges around for their heat and pre-heat, something to take the edge off the soreness and dryness and it doesn’t surprise you that the only one attuned to your slight discomfort is another omega.

“You can keep the bag,” He places it on your lap, “if you need it,”

“I’m good,” You pass it back, not wanting to admit how close you really are, “like I said, just dry,”

“Okay,” He nods, and then he lets the subject lie, “are you ready for today?”

“Yeah,” You swallow tightly, “nervous, but yeah,”

“Mm,” He grins, relaxing back into his seat, “it’s fun, I promise,”

“Yeah?”

“When you see it all come together on the monitors,” He nods, “it just makes it all worth it,”

“All the work, you mean?” You can’t help but glance up the length of the bus, to where Yunho sits alongside San and Mingi, all talking quietly and seriously amongst themselves.

“Yeah,” He nods, “you’ve been working a lot of nights too, catching up,”

“I just don’t want me being new to be the reason it’s not perfect,” You reply with ease.

“That’s good,” Wooyoung says, “and I promise if you weren’t nailing it, you’d know by now.”

“Would I?”

“You wouldn’t be sitting here,” Wooyoung nods towards the front, “Mingi would have cut you ages ago,”

“Mingi?” He’s been nothing but nice, flirty, and funny. He’d been helping you out at night to get better, you thought so that Yunho and San didn’t have an inkling that you’re behind.

“His opinion is the one that matters,” Wooyoung laughs, whispering to you so the rest of the bus can’t hear, “have you not picked up on that yet?”

You shake your head slowly.

“y/n,” Wooyoung smiles as he realizes just how clueless you are, “Yunho would recommend we all stop drinking water if Mingi said it was a good idea. Mingi trusts his gut, and Yunho trusts Mingi,”

“Oh,” You breathe.

“Yep,”

“What about Jaemin?” You ask softly. You’ve only met the actual crew leader a few times here and there, but most of the time he’s not at the studio itself.

“He keeps the work coming and the doors open,” Wooyoung says, “but they keep us moving.”

You let his words sink in, the reality that for weeks you’ve been working side by side with Mingi and confessing all your fears of inadequacy, that he was the person who had to approve of you all along and you never knew it. You sigh, “Are you just trying to hype me up, or are you being serious?”

“I don’t lie.” He says, full stop, no room for misinterpretation.

The menthol lozenge burns a little on your tongue, but soothes the cut feeling in the back of your throat when you swallow and you find that finally for the first time all night you’re able to really exhale. With a soft nod you turn to him, “Okay,”

“Okay?”

“Let’s fucking do this,”

He grins, “After this stage you’re officially one of us, you know,”

Your eyes narrow, “You said that after my first week,”

He rolls his eyes, “Okay, maybe I lie a little,”

For the afternoon, with the lightness of Wooyoung by your side, you forget about your headache. The day happens fast, even with all the sitting and waiting in green rooms. There’s so much to remember, from camera positions to where the light is coming from, to how to adapt to the stage floor being just a little smaller than what you were working with back at KQ. The members seem suddenly focused in a way you’ve never experienced, you know what this means to them. To all of you. By the time it’s filming, you’ve had at least six lozenges and taken two more painkillers for your migraine to keep it at bay, and you're starting to feel exhausted. You film it twice, from two angles. Wide for choreography and tighter close ups on the members for cinematic facial expressions and intricacies of movement.

When it’s all over and you pile back into the van, your legs feel heavy and disconnected. If you can just make it back to the studio, you can change and call an Uber and get inside before it knocks you sideways.

Someone suggests drinks, someone else suggests a celebratory meal.

You want nothing more than for the van to speed up.

You grip your hand tight and breathe through the tight sensations in your body and no one ever notices a thing, not even Wooyoung who seems caught in the euphoria of the performance, your quietness blissfully overlooked for the moment.

At the studio, it takes time for the locker room to clear out after the show, everyone else riding on the high of the performance too and slow to pack up for the night. It had gone so well, despite the way you had to push through the pain. As the pain worsens, you’re not sure how you’re going to get home, but you know you need to figure it out soon. You can maybe call one of your roommates, but on a Friday night it feels unlikely that they’ll be available or sober enough to get you.

A cramp ripples through you, and you grip down on the wooden bench, your leg bouncing to try and distract you from the waves of sensation washing over you. It’s been years since your last heat, and you can already tell this is going to be hard and heady. Sweat is collecting on your brow, waves of uncomfortable warmth passing through your body, and you can feel the way your breath is tightening. You really don’t have long, a matter of hours maybe, but it’s obvious to anyone who looks at you what’s going on.

You fish your phone out of your bag and scan through your contacts, blinking hard to try and clear your blurring vision. The phone keeps ringing, first one of your roommates, then another, and when you hit their voicemail boxes for the second time, your phone slips from your fingers in frustration. Tears prick the back of your eyes, your hands shaking. You really thought you had more time.

A noise across the locker room startles you, the heavy metal clang of a locker closing and you realize someone’s still in here with you. You’re trembling, a mix of abject panic and pain, your omega surfacing inside you in a way that you can’t control. Footsteps come closer, and though you’re still shielded by a row of lockers and can’t see him, you can smell him. Rich, cocoa and cinnamon.

Mingi walks past your section of lockers, and you hope he won’t notice, but you’re never, ever that lucky.

“Hey,” He says when he catches sight of you, “you did good tonight,”

You keep your eyes away from his, curling down further to tug at the laces of your shoes and hope that he doesn’t notice the way you’re clenching your jaw to keep from crying, “Thanks,”

“Yeah,” He says, and you hear his steps shift and then pause.

Your eyes press closed as you hide behind the curtain of your hair.

“y/n,” Mingi asks, “are you okay?”

“Mhm,” You pull your laces tight, your insides cramping painfully as your body registers the presence of an alpha.

“Are you sure?” He asks.

Biting down on the inside of your cheek you steady your voice, “Yeah, I’m good, just tired.”

Mingi doesn’t answer, doesn’t move, and there’s really only so long you can pretend to tie your shoes. You tug your other laces taut and then do your best, leaning back up into a normal sitting position despite the pained pressure inside you. You grip down on the bench again and breathe slowly through your nose.

“Are you hurt?” Mingi asks, concern evident in his voice, “Did you pull something?”

You shake your head, you can’t trust your words.

“Something’s wrong,” Mingi takes a step forward and you jolt back, sliding off the edge of the bench with a tight sound, your back connecting hard with the lockers behind you. His eyes widen at your sudden movement and you hold a hand out to keep him right where is.

“Stop,” You plead, body shaking, “don’t,”

“You are hurt,” He can feel your fear, and his eyes are panicked as he scans your body, “what happened?”

“It’s not,” You sigh, shaking your head, another hot flash making your cheeks light up with blush and cutting your words.

When he takes another step forwards you watch his face change, the way his breathing settles low into his chest as he regards you and comprehension starts to relax his face. Your eyes press closed as another cramp ripples through your abdomen, and suddenly you feel the first rush of slick.

“Fuck,” Mingi says, “what are you doing here?”

“Working,” You groan, opening your eyes again.

“You should be on heat leave,” He shakes his head, “you should be home,”

“I know,” You nod, your throat growing tight and tears bubbling back up, “I-I asked, but it would have been unpaid, and with the performance… I couldn’t afford to not be here. I thought I had a little more time,”

“Okay,” He steps a little closer and you shake your head, pressing your body back further against the lockers as if that will do anything, “it’s okay, I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know that,” You laugh humorlessly, “but right now your scent is making this harder,”

“Oh,” He swallows hard, “I didn’t mean to,”

“Mingi,” You meet his gaze and his eyes soften, “I need help,” You wish you didn’t have to ask. You wish you had just stayed home, not rationed your suppressants, and just handled this on your own.

He nods, straightening up and swallowing hard, “Okay, let’s go,”

“Go?” You watch as he picks up your bag and slings it over his shoulder with his own.

“Can you walk?” He holds a hand out to you, an offering and nothing more if you want it.

“Yeah,” You stammer, pushing yourself off the lockers, but one step already has you shaky and you grip his hand and let him hold your weight to keep you standing.

“Alright,” He shakes his head, “I’m sorry, just hold your breath or something,”

His arm wraps around your back, pulling you up and supporting your weight with a sure hand on your forearm and with his help, you take a step. His scent is dizzying, equal parts calming and arousing, and tears roll down your cheeks as you try to keep quiet and hold it together. Slick pools between your thighs and you’re sure he can smell it, but he’s doing a good job of saying nothing about it to you.

“W-where are we going?” You manage as he pushes the door to the locker room open and steers you out into the dimly lit hallway of the dance studio.

“We need to get Yunho,” He says with ease, like it’s obvious and poses absolutely no problem.

At the thought of him, your body clenches and you bite down to keep a tight, pained sound inside. “No, Mingi, he can’t,”

“We’re past that point,” Mingi is all but dragging you now, “I need his help, I can’t get you home by myself.”

Yunho’s the only one with a car between them, not the mention a driver’s license. Mingi typically hitches a ride with him or using the subway, and at this stage in your heat, it’s not safe to take public transportation or put you in a taxi. There are too many variables, too many people you don’t know, and you need someone you trust to get you to a safe location to ride this out. The idea of Yunho tears your body in two, caught between the feeling of wanting him and never wanting him to know about this, but you know he’s safe, that safe place.

There’s a light still on in the office at the end of the hall where you know Yunho is going through footage from the day and making notes while things are still fresh in his mind. When you’re close enough to the door but still safely in the hall, Mingi calls out, “Yunho!”

“Yeah?” He shouts back, and you can hear the distraction in his voice, a clear picture of him writing something down as he calls over his shoulder.

“I need your help,” Mingi adjusts his grip on you, holding you close as your body trembles in his arms, “like right now,”

“Uh,” Yunho trails off, “yeah, okay, yeah, I’m coming.” You hear Yunho jump up from the chair in the office, his quick footsteps, and another wave of fear flutters through you.

“Mingi,” You grip down on his hand.

“Right, fuck,” He remembers himself, tucking you closer to his chest, “slowly,”

“What?” Yunho’s voice comes from the office but you can see his shadow on the floor in the hall as he gets closer to the door.

“Yunho!” Mingi’s voice is deep, clear and firm and you let your head rock back on his shoulder, “Slowly, seriously,”

He’s not distracted anymore, he’s incredibly alert. Yunho steps into the hallway slowly, just as directed when he hears the tenor of his best friend’s voice, and it takes him seconds to size up what’s going on.

“y/n,” He takes a half step forward and stops himself, arm outstretched, “oh no,”

His soft tone soothes you instantly but it doesn't help the emotional live wire you feel like you’re walking, and a little sob bubbles out of you, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,”

“You’re in heat,” He says, shaking his head, “it’s not safe for you to be here, why are you here?”

Your omega shrinks and more tears spill over, the wave uncontrollable now, “I’m sorry, please,”

Yunho’s eyes flick to Mingi’s before he comes closer, reaching out for you, “I’m not upset,”

Relief washes through you, “You’re not?”

“No,” He assures you, his voice dropping to a warm and even tone, “I’m just worried about you, I want you safe. Come here,”

You comply instantly, stepping out of Mingi’s hold and straight into Yunho’s arms, letting him tuck you close into his chest before he adjusts his stance and brings your face up to the crook of his neck. His scent washes over you like a salve, nothing but warm rain and fresh cut cedar.

“Shh,” He soothes you, running a hand down your back, “there we go, take a deep breath,”

For a minute, it feels like your cramps have passed, your head clearing. He grounds you and brings you back into your body with his touch and you breathe low and slow, your hands gripping his shirt.

“Okay,” Yunho murmurs, “what’s your heat plan? We can take you and get you there safe,”

You shake your head into his neck, nuzzling closer to his skin, “I don’t really have one,”

“What do you mean?” He asks, clearly not understanding.

“You can take me home,” You tell him, eyes drifting closed, “I usually can take care of things myself,”

“That’s insane,” Mingi says from behind you both, and you feel Yunho’s hands tighten on your back.

“Who’s there with you?” Yunho asks, “Don’t you have roommates?”

You nod, resting on his shoulder, “Mhm,”

“y/n,” He prompts you, “what are their designations?”

“Mm,” You’re feeling so warm wrapped in his scent, “Ari and Hyejin are betas, Hyunwoo is an alpha but he’s probably out tonight,”

“Tonight,” Yunho shakes his head, “you go through heats like this with an alpha home?”

“Not like this,” You mumble into his chest and he shifts you in his arms.

“What did you say?”

“Not a heat like this,” You manage, “I’m normally on pretty heavy suppressants,”

“She can’t go home like this,” Mingi says, “this is still just pre-heat,”

“I think so,” Yunho’s voice sounds far away, and you sink into the steady sound of his heart and the feeling of his hand smoothing a comforting line up and down your back. When he finally speaks again, his voice is so tender you almost don’t recognize it, “Can we bring you home? Let me help, you can’t go through a heat this hard by yourself,”

“Yunho,” You shudder against him, “we can’t,”

The thought of his cock inside you flashes through your brain, and you imagine the feeling of his swollen knot locking in, your body full and sated and the cramps dissipating. Your core throbs at the idea and you feel another rush of slick rush through you.

“You’re in pain,” He murmurs, dropping his head a little lower, “you need an alpha. Let me take care of you, let me take you home,”

You should say no, you should take your chances in your apartment with your box of toys and a bottle of lube, but you keep breathing in his steady scent and all you can do is say yes. Yunho’s been kind to you since the beginning, taking care of you for weeks even if he didn’t really know it, and he can take care of you now too if you just let him.

“We’ll take care of you,” Mingi cuts in, offering his help softly, “and make sure you’re safe until it’s over,”

“Are you sure?” You pull back from Yunho’s neck, leaning heavily on his chest still.

He cups your cheek in his broad hand, bringing your eyes up to his, and nods, “Positive, and if you don’t,” he swallows hard tries to find the right words, “if you don’t want to have sex we can figure something out, but you need a place that’s private, and you need to be with more experienced alphas who know how to keep their hands to themselves.”

They’re not wrong. You just have to trust them. You just have to let go.

Your body makes the decision for you, the way your aching and throbbing is soothed just being between them, and you let your mind follow.

“Okay,” You sigh, leaning into his hand, “yes,”

“Alright,” He sighs, “don’t worry about a thing, okay? We’ll get you home.” Yunho’s thumb rubs a soothing pattern into the soft gland at your wrist and it relaxes you further. He looks over you for a moment, “Mingi, I need you to take her for a minute, I’ll get the car.”

When Yunho steps away, just to try and pass you back to Mingi, the lack of contact strikes panic through you and you shake your head, “No, no, don’t go,”

“It’s not for long,” He assures you, his hands sliding down your arms as he separates from you slowly, “I’ll be back in 5 minutes,”

A panicked whine leaves your throat and your mind spins, “Don’t leave me!”

“Hey,” He soothes you but you don’t respond, all you know is he’s leaving and you’ll be without him and the thought makes your body clench. “y/n, hey, y/n,” He tries again but you’re shaking your head. “Omega.” His voice roots you to the spot.

Mingi’s hands close over you gingerly from behind, and Yunho nods as your panicked noises stop, “Okay, see?” He says, “Listen to me, omega, I’m not going far. You won’t be alone, Mingi’s right here. I’ll be back in five minutes, and then I won’t leave you again, okay?”

“Okay,” You lean back into Mingi, and let his touch keep you warm.

Yunho nods and then keeps his eyes on you as he moves back to the office, darting out of your eye line for a moment. You can hear him grabbing his things; the zip of his bag, the jingle of his keys, and the lights flick off before he jogs back out.

“Here,” He says, holding out his jacket, “put this on,”

Mingi takes it from his hands, and eases it onto you. When you pull the jacket up, his scent washes over you again and you sigh.

“Better?” Yunho asks.

“Mhm,” You murmur, and tucked into the warmth of Mingi’s chest with their combined scents easing you, you can breathe. You keep your eyes closed, but you hear when Yunho walks out the front door and your body clenches a little, but you take a deep breath in.

“Mingi,” You finally say, looking up at him, “thank you for not leaving me,”

“Hey,” He shakes his head, “I was never going to leave you there,”

You nod, twisting in his arms so you can tuck your face into his chest and let his arms wrap fully around you, “I’m sorry,” you sigh, “I’m not usually such a touchy person,”

He chuckles, smoothing your hair with his hand, “It’s okay, I like it,”

“And Yunho?”

“Oh,” Mingi laughs, “he’s a cuddler, don’t worry.”

Your stomach cramps and you groan into his chest, “God,” you grip him, “I forgot how much this hurts,”

“How long has it been?” Mingi shifts his grip so that more of your weight is supported, “You know, since your last real heat?”

“Years,” You tell him honestly, “they’ve been so much easier on suppressants,”

“Mm,” Mingi nods above you, “when this hits it’s going to be intense,”

“Have you helped a partner through heat before?”

“I have,” Mingi says, “but Yunho hasn’t,”

“Oh,” You have no idea why Yunho offered himself up immediately like he had done it a thousand times before if he’s never shared a heat with someone. The sure, practiced tenor of his voice when he called you omega rings in your ears.

“Don’t worry,” Mingi assures you, “I know what I’m doing, and Yunho’s got a handle on himself. He won’t touch you if you don’t want him to,”

“I’m really, really not worried about that,” You sigh.

“Good,” Mingi’s phone starts to vibrate in his pocket, and he adjusts his arms around you so he can find it, “We’ll take care of you - Hey? Are you out front?”

You can’t hear Yunho’s side of the conversation but you just wait, held against him.

“Okay, I got her,” Mingi says, and you smile.

You forgot the way that heat takes over every physical sensation, every little thing heightened until you feel like you’re on a razor’s edge. In a matter of hours you’re going to be a writhing mess, in so much pain you might be delirious - you might ask anything of them, beg for anything. You have to reconcile with your shame now, and let them help. After weeks of dancing around Yunho, what you really want is to ask him out for coffee, not this. Mingi is no stranger to being flirtatious, those sparks between you already evident, but it always felt like a little inside joke between friends, not a step towards anything more.

“Alright, just a little further,” Mingi urges you as he slips his arm under yours.

It takes time to get to the car, but when you get there, Mingi slides into the backseat with you instead of taking the front with Yunho like he normally would. Enclosed in the warmth of the car, you relax into Mingi’s arms and find Yunho’s eyes studying you in the rearview mirror. Their scents settle you a bit, more than any other alpha’s ever has.

“I’m okay,” You assure them, “it’s coming and going,”

“We don’t live too far,” Yunho smiles, “so just try to relax and we’ll be inside soon, okay?”

“Yeah,”

Mingi eases you against him, feeling your exhaustion, until you’re nestled in his lap with his fingers softly carding through your hair. Yunho’s eyes flick back to you again and again as he drives, but for the first time since the locker room, you’re not in too much pain.

“Yunho,” Mingi murmurs and his friend hums a noise of acknowledgement, “we need to pick up a few things for her,”

“What do you mean?”

“She needs to eat before this really starts,” Mingi says quietly, “I think we have water bottles at home and ice packs?”

“Yeah we do, I went to the store a couple days ago,” Yunho glances back at you again.

“Okay,” Mingi’s fingers keep up their soothing brushes on your scalp, “and we need condoms, in case.”

“Oh,” Yunho blinks and opens his mouth to say something but you get there more quickly.

“We don’t need them,” You twitch as a cramp ripples through you, “I’m on birth control,”

“If it would make you feel more comfortable though,” Mingi offers.

“No,” You groan a little and shift on the uncomfortable back seat, “really, I’m good.”

The car is quiet for a minute, the reality sinking in that they won’t just be keeping you safe tucked away in a room in their apartment, but they will be helping you. Yunho clears his throat, “Then we’re good, let’s get you home and in bed, and then we can order food? Do we have time?”

“Mhm,” You assure him, “I’m okay now that i’m with you both,”

“Exactly,” Mingi soothes you as your fists tighten, eyes closing as you breathe through another small cramp, “your alphas will take good care of you,”

You release a shuddering breath, the word sinking into your chest and keeping you whole.

“Almost there,” He murmurs, “just breathe, omega,”

Getting you upstairs to their apartment proves a little challenging, moving through the lobby of the apartment building and ferrying you into an elevator. They stay close to you, keeping you firmly tucked between them as they walk you in, and you do your very best to seem in control and not draw any unnecessary attention.

The minute their apartment door closes though, your legs give out and Mingi scoops you up, “You did so well,” he assures you, and it’s evident now that he is the one with the experience here, knowing exactly what the primal part of your brain needs to hear.

“I’ll order food,” Yunho says, giving you a small smile.

“Get her some meat,” Mingi directs him, “broth too, and lots of rice,”

“You are good at this,” You sigh.

“We got you,” Mingi grins, acting like this is second nature, “now… I can put you to bed, or would you like a cool shower before you lay down? I know that helps,”

“Mm, yes please,” You nod.

“Alright,” Mingi nods and looks up, “get the food going, and then meet me in my room with some water and the ice packs.”

“Right,” Yunho looks at you, “are you okay with just Mingi?”

“Yeah,” You smile, “I’m feeling okay,”

“Good,” Yunho smiles back and pulls out his phone to order the food, “then I’ll meet you there.”

Mingi sets you up in the bathroom with ease, making sure you have towels and everything you need. Your heat is coming, building inside your body with every cramp and rush of warm blush, but their combined scents keep things calm enough for you to take care of yourself a bit. He asks you to keep the door unlocked in case you need help, and leaves you to your moment of peace. You let the cool water settle your body, taking solace in this dip of your pre-heat before things get worse.

When you’re done, wrapped up in fluffy towels and feeling decidedly less sticky from the combination of sweat and slick, you make your way out into the hall. There are three bedrooms, an empty one you assume is Yunho’s, one that’s been converted into an office, and then one larger room at the end of the hall that you know must be Mingi’s.

He appears in the doorway before you make it too much further and smiles, “Feeling better?”

“Yes, thank you so much,”

“Mhm,” He reaches for you, “come on in, we got everything ready for you,”

His bedroom smells overwhelmingly like cinnamon when you first cross through the door and you feel a tense flutter in your core. His room is tidy, clean and organized well, which feels surprising for Mingi given how chaotic and busy he can seem at times. The bed is made, but the covers are pulled back for you and you see a folded shirt and thin sleep pants at the edge of the bed. Yunho is sitting in a chair in the corner by the foot of the bed and waiting, the dresser adjacent to his side equipped with almost everything you’ll need. Water bottles, pain killers, and ice packs, an unfilled bowl with a few washcloths stacked inside.

“How do you know all this?” You catch Mingi’s eye.

“My girlfriend in college went through terrible heats,” He explains easily, directing you towards the bed, “I remember what used to make her feel a little better,”

“Ah,” That explains so much of him, and his easy reaction to finding you in the locker room.

“Do you need help getting dressed at all?” He asks.

“No, I just really want to lie down,” Your limbs are starting to feel heavy and achy.

“We’ll leave you be then,” Yunho offers, “and when the food gets here we’ll bring some in,”

“Mhm,” You sigh, sinking down onto the bed, “thank you both again, so much,”

When you’re finally alone in Mingi’s room, you start to take stock of your body and how it feels, getting a sense of how far you are from the real thick of your heat. Judging by the intensity of your cramps and the fact that you’re starting to produce slick, you know you’re not too far off, maybe a few hours at most. The onset of your heat is normally much slower than this, a long few days of light pre-heat into a couple of days of uncomfortable cramps and extremely high arousal. On suppressants it feels easy, off them everything is unpredictable.

You pull on the clothes they left you, but they smell like stale lavender, artificial like laundry detergent and it’s not helping. You find the hamper in the corner and toss off the top, digging through Mingi’s clothes until you find a hoodie and you bury your face in it before taking a deep inhale and letting the warm smell of him pass through you. It might be crossing a line, but you don’t really care, you need them.

A pulsing wave passes through you and you collapse back into the bed, tugging on the hoodie and curling yourself up in the covers. The bed smells like him too, and you gather a pillow to your chest and take a deep inhale. Your neediness is starting to build up again with every passing minute, flushing heat through your chest and where you were cold a moment ago you’re suddenly overheated. You kick off the covers, but keep them close, and pile the pillows around you too so you can better inhale his scent.

Slick rushes forwards again and you bite your inner cheek to stifle a moan and keep things in check. You push off the sleep pants they had given you, and fish through your gym bag until you find a clean pair of underwear and some wipes. You clean yourself up a bit, and change your underwear for the third time today, before deciding that there’s no point in putting the pants back on. Mingi’s hoodie falls low over your shorter frame, dragging along your thighs.

You bury yourself back in his bed, and do your best to get a little rest before what’s to come.

When you wake, it’s to Mingi pushing back his hoodie so he can see your face a little better, “Hey,” he murmurs, “how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” You sigh, “and sore,”

“Okay,” He smiles and tugs lightly on the strings of his hoodie, “is this helping?”

“Mm,” You nod into his palm, but nervous knots start to curl up in your belly, “where’s Yunho?”

“I’m here,” Yunho’s voice comes from the opposite side of the bed, and you twist in the sheets to find him, a cramp pulsing through you as you do and you groan, gripping onto the bed sheets beneath you.

“Easy,” Mingi scolds you softly, “you need all the rest you can get,”

Yunho finds your eyes and smiles, “What’s wrong?” He asks gently, noticing your nervous fidgeting.

“I don’t know, I thought you left,” You manage.

“I’m an idiot,” Mingi sighs behind you and his hand that rests on your hip shifts away, “stay with her a second,”

“Mhm,” Yunho’s eyes don’t leave you, and he reaches out to rest his hand on yours, “we’ve got dinner, and then once you eat you can rest, we won’t go anywhere.”

You watch his face as he studies your features, his breathing slow and steady, when you hear Mingi come back into the room behind you. “Here we go,” He says, and you feel a large, soft blanket draping over you. The smell of wet earth and rain in the air fills your senses again and you drag the blanket up and around you with a sigh.

“You’re nesting,” Yunho observes, his mouth dropping open, “of course,”

“She couldn’t smell you in here,” Mingi explains with ease, “she needs you to relax,”

You nod, your cheek pressed against the blanket, “You smell like a thunderstorm,”

Yunho sits slowly on the bed by your side, brushing your hair back behind your ear and smoothing his thumb along your cheekbone, “Is that right?” he smiles.

“I love thunderstorms,” Your eyes drift closed.

Mingi chuckles, “I think she’s found herself a heat partner,”

“Only if she wants one,” Yunho presses, “and only after she eats,”

Your eyes reopen, and you push yourself up to your knees, dropping the hood of Mingi’s sweatshirt and running your hands over your warm cheeks. “We need to talk now,” You blink hard and take a deep breath, “before I get too far into this,”

“Let’s eat then,” Mingi gestures for you to sit back more comfortably and you watch as he and Yunho both produce boxes of take out from bags on the dresser, “what are you thinking?”

“Well,” You shift up the bed to lean against the headboard, dragging Yunho’s blanket with you, “I haven’t gone through this in a while. I’m not sure how it’s going to be, but you said you wanted to help. What did you mean by it?”

Yunho looks like he’s not sure exactly what to say or where to start and Mingi cuts in smoothly, “I’m willing to help with all of it. If you want me gone, I’m gone. If you want help to come to take the edge off, I can do that, and if you want me to actually knot you,” he gestures for you to fill in the blanks.

“Right,”

“But,” Mingi cuts in and your eyes shift back to him, “You seem to want Yunho,”

His eyes flick down to the way you’re rubbing his blanket between your thumb and forefinger and you drop it instantly, not even realizing what you were doing. Mingi smiles softly and adds, “I think you prefer his scent,”

“No!” You exclaim, wincing at the way your body tenses up, “No, it’s not that, at all.”

“Earlier,” Mingi takes a seat on the edge of the bed, “you said my scent was making it harder, that’s not what I want to do for you.”

“Mingi,” You shake your head, “I meant because it’s good, both of you. So, no I don’t have a preference.”

“Oh,” Mingi smiles, and then turns to Yunho, “how are you feeling?”

He clears his throat softly and nods, “The same as you, I’m all in.”

“Okay,” You exhale slowly, “then so am I,”

Mingi passes you a take out container and a pair of chopsticks, “Eat this, okay?”

“Mhm,” You’re caught between exhaustion and adrenaline, but you stay focused on the task at hand. You all eat quietly, the atmosphere a little awkward now that you’ve all agreed.

As you finish the container of food, Yunho smoothly passes you another and he says, “So, you feel comfortable with us?”

“I do,” You nod, shifting a little at a slight pain in your back, “I like you both, and if I can trust you in the studio, I can trust you with this.”

“And if you ask us to knot you?” Mingi prompts.

“Right,” You swallow, resting the container of food on your lap, “I guess there are some things we should say now,”

They look at you, waiting expectantly.

“People say things during heat,” You start, imagining all the things you might beg them for for the next few days to come. “It’s not like I’ll be out of my mind or anything, you know that,” You nod to Mingi.

“Mhm,”

“But it’s still hard to control,” You explain, and Yunho listens intently, “I don’t know what it’ll be like for me. It’s been a long time, but you have my permission to do whatever we need to. If I ask you to knot me, knot me.”

“Okay,” Mingi nods, “it’s good that we’re clear.”

You feel another flush up your chest and you breathe slowly, “But no matter what,” you hold their gazes, “if I ask you to claim me, don’t. Don’t do it, even if I tell you I’m sure.”

“Absolutely not,” Mingi’s brow furrows, and he looks shocked that you’d even have to say it, “there’s no way.”

“I know you know,” You swallow and reach for a water bottle on the nightstand, “but Yunho, you’ve never done this before.”

“That might be true,” He shakes his head, “but I know you wouldn’t mean that, it would just be the heat talking,”

“Exactly,” You nod, “I might sound like I want that or like I need that, but I don’t.”

“Understood,” Yunho nods, “I wouldn’t, I swear,”

You sink back into your pillows and tuck back into your box of food, “I just want you to be prepared,” you explain, “and before I start crying and begging you to give me a pup, I wanted to say it,”

Mingi laughs into his food, choking a little, “Sorry, no, not funny,”

You smile, the mood a little lighter now, “It’s kind of funny.”

Yunho smiles, shifting further onto the bed as he all but inhales his noodles, “You seem a better, I thought it was going to just get worse,”

“Oh, it will,” You shrug, “but the food is nice, and you’re both here with me. When Mingi found me I was scared and alone, which always makes it worse,”

Mingi’s hand rubs a comforting line up your shin, “You’re very safe now,”

“I know,” You nod.

“Eat some more,” Yunho notices that you’ve taken too long of a pause, and he gestures for you to keep going, “and then what would be nice? Some sleep?”

“Maybe,” You dip back into your rice, “would you stay?”

“I’ll stay,” Yunho murmurs.

“Me too,” Mingi adds.

They keep on you to eat, making sure you’ve had your fill. Afterwards, you rest between them watching some television, keeping your mind off things as best you can while you’re still feeling somewhat okay. They’re careful of you though, every shift of your body and soft hiss through your teeth drawing their attention. Mingi is still cool and evenly calm, but surprisingly Yunho is too, and you wonder what they talked about while you were in the shower. Did they discuss what to do at all? What the night and the next few days would be like?

You’re so exhausted, slipping further down into the bed, nestled in pillows and wrapped in Yunho’s blanket. They naturally gravitate closer, their hands finding their way to your skin, and you’re not sure if it’s just their alpha nature or if it’s them, but you’ve never been more grateful for it.

The cramps start to become unbearable again soon after they start to hold you. You’re not sure if their presence is making things move more quickly, let alone being with two alphas, but within the hour the pain sets in.

You curl into Mingi’s chest as tight pain cuts through you, “Fuck,” you pant against him, “it hurts,”

“I know,” Mingi soothes you, scooting down the bed until he’s eye to eye with you, “but you’re not alone,”

A sharper, biting pain rips through you and a flood of heat washes over you. You grip down hard on Yunho’s hand, curling into yourself with a taut moan, “It… it hurts,”

“Shh,” Yunho kisses your hair, running his hand up and down the expanse of your abdomen, “I know it hurts, jagiya,”

You whine at the name, desperate to hear him call you anything and everything. Your omega thrums inside you - every touch telling you just how much closer your heat is than you realize. “Please,” You plead, but you don’t know exactly what you’re pleading for, “I can’t breathe,”

“Yes, you can,” Mingi tries to sooth you, his hand on your cheek, “look at me, y/n, come on omega,”

Tears well in your eyes, heat flooding through your veins and a pulsating need fluttering through you. If they don’t touch you, you might wither into nothing. Your hips tuck back into Yunho’s and you groan, “I can’t,”

“She’s burning up,” Yunho murmurs from your side.

“Let’s take this off then,” Mingi tugs on the sleeves of his hoodie slowly, coaxing your arm through. He can see your rising panic at the idea you won't be wrapped in their scents, but he shakes his head slowly, “easy, love, let your alphas help,”

As the heavy sweatshirt is pulled away, you drop back on the bedding between them. The thin t-shirt they gave you is all but soaked through with sweat, sticking to your curves. Your head is aching, waves of feverish heat washing over you again and again, and you whimper, your legs twitching as you try to find a somewhat comfortable position.

“Hey, hey,” Yunho’s thumb settles over the swollen gland in your neck, and he strokes it soft and slow, “just breathe,”

It settles you, just a bit, and you let your eyes drift shut. With a sigh you reach for Mingi just to feel a bit of his skin on yours, “I’m not even properly in heat yet and I feel like I could crawl out of my skin,”

“Hot?” Mingi brushes the damp hair back from your forehead.

“It’s like my skin is tingling,” You murmur, “like a nerve,”

“Okay,” He nods. He shifts off the bed and your eyes flutter open. Mingi soothes you with a gentle hand, before moving towards the dresser, “Yunho, get those clothes off her,”

Yunho’s eyes lock on yours, “Can I?”

You nod, your head feeling full and pained.

Yunho’s hand slips under the edge of your damp shirt, coasting up your stomach as he pushes the fabric up and the drag of his hot hand sends a pulse through your body. You moan, head dropping back into the bedding, and you feel another gush of slick.

“It’s okay,” Yunho soothes as you he drops your shirt to the side of the bed, “there’s nothing to be embarrassed about,”

You huff, a light laugh as you shake your head, “Easy for you to say, you’re not falling apart whenever I touch you,”

“Yet,” He smiles.

“Who are you kidding?” Mingi returns to your bedside with a bowl of cool ice water and a damp washcloth. He throws a smile at his friend before ringing out the washcloth over the bowl, “The minute you saw us in the hall you were all alpha protection mode, scenting her and everything,”

“Shut up,”

You grin, but Mingi sweeps a cold line up your body with the cloth and you shudder, “Fuck, that’s nice,”

“Good,” Mingi murmurs, passing another wet washcloth to Yunho. When Mingi presses a firm line up your chest, and sweeping a little too close to your neck your body arches and your nipples harden into painful peaks.

You blush hard and drop a hand over your face, “I can’t believe we’re doing this,”

“Why?” Yunho asks gently, wiping your brow with the cool cloth.

“We work together,” You sigh, “closely together… I probably should have made you take me home or something but,”

“Do knotting dildos even really help?” Mingi asks bluntly.

“I mean,” You shrug, “they get the job done,”

“Hmm,” Mingi shakes his head, “not with a heat like this,”

“Maybe,” You sigh.

“y/n,” Yunho asks, “have you had a heat partner before? Have you been knotted?”

“A long time ago,” You nod, “it wasn’t a great experience, but you know, it is what it is.”

Yunho passes the cloth down your chest and you shudder, but he keeps the conversation going, “Why in the world are you off your suppressants then?”

Your eyes flick down, and you swallow hard, “I can’t afford them right now,”

“Wait,” Mingi shakes his head, “what?”

“The brand I’m on is the only one that works for me,” You explain, “they’re not priced like the generics, and I don’t have coverage yet. I’ve been rationing them out, but,”

“You should have talked to me about it,” Yunho shakes his head, brows knit together in concern, “we could have done something for you,”

“Yunho,” You meet his eyes, “I appreciate that, but I’m still kind of new here. I’m just trying to prove I belong here, and I didn’t want a reason to need a special exception.”

He looks like he wants to say something, but settles on nodding, “I can understand that.”

“I’m,” You tense up as your cramps intensify, “I’m glad to know I can talk to you, I’ll do it in the future, I just couldn’t come to you about this.”

“Alright,” He nods, his voice shifting to soothe again as your eyes clamp tightly shut.

“Are they worse?” Mingi asks.

You can’t answer, not yet, your muscles are locked up in crippling pain and you feel like you’re drowning in a sudden wave of hot air. You gasp as you feel your body produce more slick, your thighs surely sticky now, and you’re suddenly hyper aware of their hands and where they rest on your body.

“I think,” Your hips jerk as Mingi slides the washcloth just an inch up your side, “oh God, I think,”

“Okay,” Yunho pets your hair gently, “okay, just breathe,”

Your fingers tighten in the sheets beneath you and an overwhelming ache between your thighs reminds you just how empty your body is. You press your thighs together, feeling a throb in your core, and you can’t stop the whimper that bubbles from your lips.

“Let’s get these off too,” Mingi murmurs, his hands settling on your hip and tugging at your underwear to slowly peel them off.

Things are spinning around you, tense and painful suddenly and no amount of cool washcloths or gentle touches are going to help you now. Your vision feels blurry, and you curl into yourself, tucking your body into Yunho’s chest with a pained hiss.

“Oh, come here,” Yunho tucks you close, “I’ve got you,”

“Alpha,” You feel like crying suddenly, your stomach tense, “alpha, please,”

“What, jagiya?” Yunho murmurs against your hair.

You can’t explain what you need, all you know is that you can’t feel him close enough and you push the edges of his shirt up to try and find more of him, “Please,” you whine as you try to feel more of his skin on yours.

“Whoa, whoa,” He tries to catch your hands but it just makes you more tense.

“K-knot me,” Your stomach cramps, your cunt feeling swollen and sensitive, “please,”

“y/n,” Yunho tries again to pull your hands away but you drive forwards, pressing your cheek against his bare chest where his shirt is ridden all the way up and you sigh into his skin, pressing frantic kisses along his body.

“Please,” You beg again, “I’ll be so good for you, so good,”

“I know you will,” He manages, but he can’t deter you, and you feel the moment his body responds to yours. His hands tighten pleasantly on your hips, and you hear the change in his breath. He releases your hands and swallows hard, “Alright, alright,”

“No,” Mingi interrupts, “not yet,”

“Why?” You sob.

“You’re not ready yet,” He soothes, shifting closer behind you and placing a warm kiss on your bare back, “and Yunho and I are not going to hurt you tonight,”

“I don’t care,” Your hands slide down Yunho’s chest, searching for his waistband.

“Mingi’s right,” Yunho groans, attempting to disconnect your hands from him.

“Omega,” Mingi’s voice is firm, and your hands fall away, “be still.” You’re sure you’re shaking like a leaf, and he sighs, “You need a little sleep,”

“I can’t sleep like this,” You shake your head, “everything hurts so much,”

“We’ll help with that,” Mingi pulls you away from Yunho’s chest, ignoring your tense whine at being pulled away from him, and slides a hand down your thigh to press your legs open, “we’ll help you sleep,”

Yunho rests his hand on your inner thigh, bending your knee to open you up for Mingi’s hand, “Let your alphas make you feel good,”

You’re shaking in their grip, Yunho’s hand feeling like a lead weight, and Mingi settles down low by your side so that you’re almost nose to nose, holding your gaze as his fingers gently sink into your wet folds.

“P-please,” The sound in your throat is tight, “I need you to fuck me,”

“Mhm,” Mingi nods, unfazed by your sudden shift in demeanor as your heat finally starts to build, “we will, but not yet,”

You stifle a groan and turn your head away from him, tears gathering in your eyes as Mingi’s middle finger flattens out over your clit and starts to rock. All it does is stoke heat inside you and your vision blurs, the empty pocket inside you aching like never before. “Alpha,” You sob, “it’s not enough,”

You expect Mingi to respond, but instead it’s Yunho, cupping your cheek and drawing your face towards his, “Shh,” he shakes his head, a gentle expression on his face, “we have you, sweetheart,”

Something in his face calms you for a moment, the feeling of his warm gaze filling you and you want nothing more than to know he likes you. Approves of you. Your breath is slight, just a whisper in your throat.

Seeing your response he slides forwards, pressing his mouth to yours in a warm, tender kiss. His hand slips down and he brushes over your gland again to keep you at ease, “Be patient for us,” he kisses you again, “and you know we’ll knot you nice and full,”

With a desperate pant you catch his mouth again, moaning against his mouth when Mingi finally, finally sinks a finger deep inside your aching core.

“You’re still so tight, omega,” Mingi murmurs. He pushes a second finger inside and starts to pump them in and out, and it’s not enough, nowhere near enough, but little blooms of pleasure spark up your spine and you fall back from Yunho into the bedding once more.

“More,” You widen your legs and cant your hips, “please, Mingi, please,”

He presses his lips to your forehead, nuzzling you softly until his mouth is close to your ear, “You’re so beautiful, omega. Did you know that?”

A wash of pleasure crashes through you and his fingers speed up, pushing into you more firmly, his thumb catching against your clit to heighten every thrust. You moan against him, gripping hard on his shirt and jutting your hips into his hand.

“And so good for us,” Yunho kisses your shoulder, traveling down until lips close around one of your stiff nipples.

“Ah,” You arch into his mouth, “ah, god,”

“Close already, omega?” Mingi teases, shaking his head despite the smile across his lips, “Are you that sensitive?”

“D-don’t tease me,” Hot pleasure sparks up your body and your head twists back, your body tight and stiff.

“Then come,” Mingi bites down on your earlobe gently and you whine.

“Do as your told,” Yunho urges you, sucking hard on your nipple and pressing your leg open wider, “our sweet little omega,”

You come so hard your brain whites out, your ears ringing and your body trembling. After an entire week of build up to your heat, and hours of feeling like your body was being stretched out long like a rubber band, snapping apart in their hands hits you so much harder than you ever could have imagined.

Your brain reconnects when you feel Yunho’s soft blanket tucked around your naked body, and you’re too exhausted to open your eyes, but you feel them cuddle close before you drop off into sleep drowning in cedar and cinnamon.

You have no idea what time it is when you wake again, your brain is too foggy and pained to even check the time. All you know is desperate need, all consuming emptiness and aching. When you reach out in front of you, the bed is empty and you stifle a sob. You’re alone, they’ve left you alone. You’re alone and you’re in heat, and you thought they wanted you, but all you can feel is shame. The primal part of your brain tells you that you’re not good enough, that if you had been a better omega for them they would have stayed. You’d be good and knotted by now.

Curling into the sheets you try to push yourself up, but find the effort even harder than before. You’re soaked in sweat, trembling uncontrollably, and the throbbing pulse of your cunt is so heady that you find yourself seeking any friction at all, squeezing your thighs tight and grinding against the balled up comforter.

You feel a body roll behind you, shifting closer, and when you hear his groggy, sleepy groan, you almost cry in relief. “A-alpha?” You can’t move too much, too it’s too painful, but you reach back for him.

“Hey,” Yunho’s voice is a little hoarse, and it takes him a minute to realize what’s going on, but in the early morning faded light he watches the way you’re struggling. “Oh,” he breathes, “it’s really started,”

You nod desperately, “I need help, alpha, please,”

“Okay,” His voice drops, and he slides across the bed to slot himself perfectly behind you, “I’m going to take care of you now,”

“Y-Yunho,” You squeeze yourself further back into him, “I’m so empty,”

His face is above yours now, studying your expression to try and determine if this is really it, and you don’t know where Mingi is to guide the situation but at the feeling of Yunho’s body behind yours, your will to care is fading away into nothing. He’s not touching you fast enough, and with a whimper, you twist your head in the sheets, bearing your neck and submitting.

“Oh,” Yunho’s hands tighten on you, “oh,”

“Please,” You press again, “it hurts, alpha,”

His cock stiffens behind you, and you almost cry in relief, rolling your hips back against him. “Fuck,” His face drops against your hair, “oh my god,”

“Inside me,” You beg, reaching back and tugging at his shirt, “now, please,”

He moves so much more quickly this time, pushing down his sweats and reaching between your thighs to check you, finding you soaked with slick and aching for him. You moan when you feel the press of his cockhead against your entrance, and in one fluid motion he slides home, fully seating himself inside you.

You’re shaking in his arms, the feeling of being this full making you almost delirious with joy. Yunho doesn’t move though. He has you pulled as close as possible so that your back is flush with his chest, arms wrapped around you and keeping you perfectly still. His forehead rests against the top of your head and you can hear his shaky breath. You need him to move, to fuck you, to fill you with pups and never leave you, but he doesn’t.

Slowly, his hips draw back just a little before sinking forward again, thrusting inside your tight channel experimentally like he’s trying to get a feel for you. Despite how your body prepared you for this, making you wet and relaxed to be able to accommodate an alpha’s knot, the feeling of his cock stretching you open is almost enough to make you come right then and there.

He thrusts again, slowly, and you whimper against him. You need more, and fast.

Yunho groans as he holds himself deeply inside you again, caressing your body with his free hand, “You are the best thing I’ve felt in my entire life,”

Your brain spins, pleasure flooding you and distantly you can hear yourself asking him to knot you. You’re not prepared for what he’ll feel like fucking you in earnest.

“Is that what my girl needs?” Yunho pants, and hand locking down over your hip to help pull your body back against his hard thrusts.

“God, please!” Your eyes close, falling apart into the sensations of him inside you.

He groans against you, “Tell me what you need, omega,”

The low tenor of his voice is nothing but alpha now, his instincts guiding him just as much as yours. You’re never going to last, not if he’s going to talk to you like this. With a taut moan you beg him, “Fill me up, alpha please, knot me please,”

His hand slides up your chest, up your neck until you’re shaking with need, and closes his fingers on your jaw until he draws your face up so he can watch your eyes. His hips shift their pace, no longer driving into you with frantic need but instead firm, deep thrusts of his cock. His eyes are blown wide with desire, his mouth falling open as he watches you falling apart on his cock, “You’re all fucking mine,”

You nod, hot tears gathering in your eyes from the overwhelming sensation and you cry out desperately for more.

“All mine,” He repeats and surges forwards to lock his lips on yours, “you belong to me,”

“Yes!” You choke, “I’m yours, only yours,”

“Good girl,” He angles his hips, and on the next thrust you’re spinning fast into the crest of your orgasm. With his face pressed against you, his lips at your ear, his next words snap you open. “I’ll give you perfect pups,” He pants, his knot swelling, “I’ll breed you so full,”

There’s nothing now but the feeling of him, all encompassing as your orgasm crashes down over you, muscles spasming around his hard length. You’re a babbling mess, but so is he, so close to coming that the first sensation as your eyes reopen is his knot pressing hard at your opening.

He’s so large already, larger than any partner or knotting dildo you’ve ever used, and you scramble a little in his hold, “Y-Yunho, I can’t,”

“Shh,” He holds you against him, “you can, I know you can,”

Pushing your hips down with his broad hands, he angles himself upwards until you feel the pressure of his knot pushing past your entrance and finally slipping inside you fully. It burns, your body aching to accommodate him, but with the way he’s holding you and the throb of his cock inside you, none of that matters.

He grinds his hips desperately into you, his knot swelling further inside you, and when he comes, releasing hot with a shuddering groan, you finally feel sated. Your body melts into him, pleasantly foggy and at ease, his knot no longer uncomfortable but essential.

You’re finally, finally full.

It takes time for Yunho to come back to his senses, his hands still locked on your skin and breathing shaky as he tries to regulate it. You realize now that you have a little clarity that it was his first time. Deep, instinctual need had guided him, but the longer he stays quiet, the longer you wonder if you did well for him.

After another minute or two you find his hand and lace your fingers together, “Yunho?”

“Yes?” He murmurs from behind you, his forehead still against your hair.

“Can you hold me please?” You murmur, squeezing his hand.

“Come here,” He sighs, shifting slightly to spoon you properly. As he does, the knot locked inside you shifts and you make a startled hum at the sensation. He smooths your hair back and tries to get a good look at you, “Does that hurt?”

“No,” You shake your head, adjusting so that you’re resting on his bicep, “I just feel full,”

“Mm,” He kisses your temple, nuzzling your skin with his nose as he breathes in your scent, “you’re perfect,”

Warmth blooms in your chest, “So are you,”

“I want you like that again and again,” His hand slips out of yours so that he can coast it over your body, feeling your warm skin under his hands.

“You can have me like that again and again,” You smile, “I’ll be in heat for days.”

“Days of this,” He sighs, his hand dipping down over your hip and settling over your stomach. He inches his fingers down, passing over your sensitive nub and feeling the place where your bodies connect, locked together.

“Does it feel good for you too?” You murmur, a little breathy as his hand slips back over your clit.

“I’ve never felt anything like this,” He presses closer to you, “it’s incredible,”

You chuckle, kissing his arm and relaxing further into his touch. You’re about to agree, to say more, to confess that in truth it’s your only experience in heat that so far hasn’t been terrible, but the door to the bedroom opens and Yunho tenses.

Mingi opens the door slowly, and Yunho pulls you close, his hand closing over your stomach and his other arm wrapping around your shoulders. It’s just Mingi, but Yunho’s brain must still be fogged with the intrinsic need to protect you and in the presence of another alpha, he can’t see that it’s just his friend.

“Mingi,” You shake your head, feeling how tense Yunho is behind you, “give him a minute,”

“You’re okay?” He checks, staying rooted to the spot at the door, knowing that Yunho could hurt you if he stops thinking straight and tries to defend you against the imagined threat of another alpha.

“I’m perfect,” You assure him, “I promise,”

“Is he?” Mingi looks anxious.

“He’s fine,” You nod, smoothing your hand across his arm to try and relieve some of his tension, “but we need some more time.”

Mingi nods, “Come find me when you’re done,”

“We will,”

Mingi’s eyes flick to Yunho, “Be careful with her,”

“I got it,” Yunho’s voice sounds strained.

Mingi nods once, and then disappears, leaving the door open, and you suspect it's so he can hear things a little better should you need him. Yunho’s muscles unlock slowly, his thumb unconsciously rubbing a steady line over your abdomen, and he exhales heavily into your hair.

After a while, you expect his knot to have gone down, but he’s just as locked inside you as ever. The overwhelming alpha quality though has started to fade, and you rest lazily in his arms as he plays with your fingers and waits it out.

“Does it normally take this long?” He asks finally.

“Not usually,” You shake your head, “but it’s your first time knotting someone properly, so it might just take a little bit.”

“I’m sorry,” He murmurs.

“Why?” You tug him a little closer to your back, “This is exactly what I need,”

“Everything felt right?” He pushes himself up onto one elbow so that he can look down at you a little better, propping his head in his hand.

“Mhm,” You assure him, “Better than right,”

He smiles, his eyes flicking over you appreciatively.

“What about for you?” You bring him back to center, rubbing a circle into his palm with the pad of your thumb.

“It wasn’t what I expected,” He says honestly, and your mouth drops open. “No, no,” He cups your cheek, “I meant that it was just… much more intense than I expected. I said a lot of things to you, and I don’t know, I guess I thought that type of thing was just played up in porn,”

“Oh,” You grin, delighted a little by the way his ears run red.

“Yeah,” He smiles, blush creeping into his cheeks now, “I just couldn’t stop myself,”

“Mm,” You nod, “I get it, completely. This is why I wanted to talk before I was in heat,”

“Was it too much?” He checks in.

“No,” You assure him, “It was just what I needed to hear, and it doesn’t mean anything outside of my heat, it’s just instinct.”

He nods and sighs, dropping back to the bed and cuddling you close again, “Good,” he murmurs, “then don’t worry about how clingy I’m about to get,”

“You? Clingy?” You giggle against his chest, “I don’t believe it,”

“I’m a softie,” He shrugs, “I don’t know what to tell you,”

“But you always seem so serious at the studio,” You murmur, “and I’ve seen you go out with a lot of women,”

“Ah,” He laughs, “well the studio is work, and I’m responsible for a lot there. And as far as the dates,” he corrects, “I am trying to appease my mother because she desperately wants me to find a wife, which I’m not really focused on right now, but she’s pretty obstinate.”

“Such a mystery, Jeong Yunho,” You prod him lightly.

“Not really,” He kisses your hair, sighing into you, “I’m just a guy,”

You hum and let your eyes drift closed as he holds you.

He yawns and sighs again, “So, forgive me if I cuddle you to death while you’re here, like I said, softie,”

“I’m not complaining,” You sink into his touch.

He groans a little, his knot finally softening but he stops you when you shift your hips, “Go slow, I don’t want to hurt you,”

“It’s okay,” You assure him, feeling the way his knot fades down into being barely there. His cock starts to soften, and you slowly ease your way forwards while he shifts his hips back, disconnecting you both with a soft wet sound.

His release floods out of you, leaving you messy and sticky, but Yunho kisses your shoulder and shifts away, “Hold tight, I’ll get a towel,”

He seems incredibly unembarrassed about the messy state of heat sex, which you’re eternally grateful for, and within a few minutes you’re cleaned up and dressed again in yet another pair of clean underwear and one of the largest shirts of Mingi’s that you’ve ever seen.

“How are you feeling?” Yunho asks as you finish cleaning your face up in the mirror of Mingi’s bathroom.

“A little sore,” You tell him honestly, “and cramping a little again, but it’s not too bad yet.”

“You want to come see Mingi then? Get out of this room for a minute?” He brushes his fingers down your back as he watches you in the mirror.

“Perfect,”

In the living room, Mingi is waiting. He’s pouring over with nervous energy, his leg bouncing and his fingers fidgeting with his phone, refreshing his social media feed over and over again. The television is on, but he’s clearly not watching, and instead you see him perk up at the first sounds of you emerging from the bedroom.

“Hey,” He twists around on the couch, looking a little relieved when he sees you completely fine and cleaned up wearing one of his t-shirts.

“Hey,” You smile, moving towards the couch, “can I sit?”

“Of course,” He gestures towards the couch, but that’s not exactly what you meant. The sight of him waiting for you, and the palpable taste of his anxiety in the air makes you feel needed, and you push his arms open to settle in his lap.

“Oh,” He adjusts his legs to give you a better seat and winds his arm around your back, “is everything okay?”

“Mhm,” You take his hand, rubbing your thumb gently over the gland in his wrist to soothe him, “you can relax, I’m perfectly fine,”

Yunho takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch, chewing the inside of his cheek as he watches you and Mingi together. With a nudge to his friend’s thigh he gets Mingi’s attention and shakes his head, “I’m sorry I snapped at you,”

“It’s cool,” Mingi shrugs, “I know the feeling.”

“Where did you go, anyways?” You ask, leaning into his chest. The familiarity between the three of you should feel strange, before last night you really were only coworkers to each other. You might have even become friends, but now you’ve pushed so far past that you don’t know what you are except to accept that their hands on your skin feels right.

“I shouldn’t have left, I could feel you were getting restless,” he explains, “I went to make you some broth and get cold water, just putting a few things together, but by the time I got back you were both in it,”

“Ah,” You blush looking down at your hands, “sorry,”

“Don’t be sorry,” Mingi’s broad, warm hand rests on your bare thigh and gives you a subtle squeeze, “I’m glad Yunho could help. I just didn’t think it would be smart to interrupt you,”

“Good thinking,” Yunho adds, running a hand over his face and sighing, “you were right,”

“I told you,” Mingi nods, “it can be intense,”

Yunho passes a hand over your shin before pushing himself back up to stand and he stretches long and tall before groaning, “Alright, I’m starving.”

You clap a hand over your mouth, chuckling into your palm, “Classic,”

“Can I make you something?” He asks, “Either of you?”

Mingi shakes his head, “I’m good,”

“Me too,” You agree, “I should be hungry, but I’m really not,”

Mingi’s nose crinkles, “You should still eat,”

“Maybe in a bit,” You try to appease him.

“In a bit you’ll be jumping our bones again,” Mingi counters.

“I know,” You sigh, “but really, I’m okay. I feel pretty good,”

“This is really just because it’s day one right?” Yunho asks, a little less joking than before.

“Yeah,” You nod, “day one and two are never as bad, and you definitely have more lucidity as long as you’re managing the spikes well. Day three, four, and sometimes five if it lasts that long, are usually a lot harder.”

“How much is a lot?” Yunho asks, stepping close and running his hand over your hair, “You were already in a lot of pain,”

“I’ll be less coherent, and the fever can be worse. I probably won’t have down time like this,” You explain, “the pain isn’t necessarily worse, it’s just more consistent,”

He frowns, “Then you’re eating now,”

You sigh heavily and shake your head, “Honestly, you don’t need to, I can make myself something in a bit or,”

Mingi cuts you off and makes a dismissive noise with his tongue against his teeth, “y/n, relax. This is what we meant when we said we’d help you through your heat. It’s more than just orgasms and knots,”

You swallow back your words, holding his gaze.

“Alphas are meant to provide,” He reminds you, “so let us,”

A flutter of warmth bubbles through you, and you can only nod, no use arguing now when your mind is spinning and telling you to accept. Yunho drops a quick kiss on the top of your head, before disappearing into the kitchen. You’ve never had an alpha provide, never once. In your limited experience before going on suppressants, you were used to being knotted incredibly quickly and then left alone, or having a partner that never really knew how to fully satisfy, leaving you to feverishly deal with your needs while they slept. You’ve never experienced a heat where you felt wanted before.

You ease into Mingi’s chest, resting a head on his shoulder and letting your muscles relax for as long as you can. They make you food, massage your sore hips, and keep you distracted with stories and memories from before your time at the studio. They hold you close, and they ease your pain, they provide.

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theidiotwhowritesthings · 1 year

Text

A Fresh Start [6]

Din Djarin x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, but with like immediate follow up comfort, medical trauma? if you’ve ever been blown off by a doctor in the office and that frustrated you then be forewarned

Word Count: 5,119

Summary: When you made plans for your future they never involved being hired by a Mandalorian to baby-sit his adorable, green gremlin of a child. However, after your life fell apart in the span of one disastrous night, you found it to be the only feasible option you had left. Nevarro was a far cry from Coruscant, but the thriving community turned out to be exactly what you needed. Every day you spend in Nevarro you fall more and more in love with your new life, but when your past rears its ugly head you find that perhaps peace wasn’t meant for everyone.

Ch. #06: TRIKAR’LA, BUIR!

Chapter Summary: Grogu goes to the doctor, and the Marshal decides he might need to murder said doctor. You get comforted by your boys.

"Watch carefully,

the magic that occurs,

when you give a person,

just enough comfort,

to be themselves."

- a t t i c u s

Nevarro didn’t have a large hospital. It had an emergency center and a clinic for routine appointments. Anything that couldn’t be healed or cared for within a day got transported to a nearby settlement on a neighboring world. Luckily, the transport time wasn’t very long, and Nima told you that the travel there wasn’t intense. The High Magistrate had worked out a deal to keep it that way.

Coming from a Level One Trauma Center on Coruscant, the office was shockingly puny. A simple two story building with emergency services on the first floor and routine medical care on the second. You had learned ages ago that the size of a medical center didn’t correlate to the kind of care a patient could receive. Some of the best physicians you’ve worked with came from smaller hospitals. You had no criticism there. The only thing that made you nervous was not having the kind of resources a Level One hospital would have. Coruscant had spoiled you in that sense.

For what had to be the hundredth time since leaving the station, you glanced over at Mando who walked right beside you. He held Grogu in his arms casually chatting with the boy. Grogu responded in a mix of Mando’a, Basic, and gibberish. It was painfully cute watching the Mandalorian interact with his son. Every inch of him screamed danger and intimidation, but the tender voice leaving his helmet’s modulator was nothing but soft and loving.

“Is something wrong?”

It took you a second to realize Mando was talking to you. “Hmm?”

“You keep looking over at me.”

You were getting pretty decent at reading Mando’s body language, and weirdly you could tell the difference between his head tilts. All of that, yet you still had a bad gauge on how far he could see out of his peripherals while wearing the helmet.

“Oh, er,” You scrambled for a response, “No. Nothing. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was just checking on you.”

You opened your mouth but stopped yourself when you realized you were about to apologize for apologizing. Instead, you tried to steer the conversation away from your staring. “Do you know how many doctors work in Nevarro?”

“Not enough.” Mando replied. “Three rotate on the schedule right now, I think. Karga is still trying to recruit more, but until Nevarro really makes a name for itself it’s a hard sell.”

“It’s pretty impressive so far.” You motioned around to the clean and cheerful street surrounding you. “And growing fast.”

Mando nodded and your lips curled up in a smile as you watched him allow Grogu to crawl onto his shoulder and cling to his helmet. He kept one hand up just in case the child slipped. “Yes, but as always, it comes down to credits. Karga spent a lot to get this place built up. Doctors are expensive.”

“True, but if you’re gonna spend credits anywhere healthcare is a good bet.” You shrugged. “There are doctors out there who’ll take less pay to work somewhere rural. I⏤” You stopped yourself and at the sudden halt Mando glanced your way. You had nearly told him you once considered working in a rural setting. It hadn’t crossed your mind in ages, since before the incident, but you didn't think twice before nearly blurting it out. You cleared your throat. “I knew someone. From the clinic I worked in. They were specifically looking for a job somewhere rural.”

Mando nodded. “Maybe you should send their frequency number to Karga.” You forced out an awkward chuckle. “For now though, we have Bacta and cautery. You could probably find e-bacta if you asked the right people.”

“Spoken like a true bounty hunter.” You teased.

Mando let out a laugh and began to wrestle Grogu from the makeshift jungle gym of his shoulders and helmet. The clinic had come into view and you felt a ball of nervous energy begin to form in your chest. This wouldn’t be your first time in a medical facility since that night, but it would be your first time going willingly. All this morning, you hadn’t thought about it. You didn’t think this would bother you at all, but staring at the building now your mouth was becoming dry and your palms clammy.

The weight of a hand on your shoulder startled you, and your head snapped to the side to see Mando facing you. Nothing about his helmet looked concerning, but you could feel the worry radiating from him. “I’ve been calling your name. You didn’t answer.” Grogu hummed in his arms and tilted his head. “Are you sure everything is okay, cyar’ika?”

“Yes. Just...zoned out.” You tried to find an excuse, but nothing was coming to mind. So, you went for the next best thing. Topic change. “What does that word mean?”

“What?”

“The word you called me. Uh, ‘shar ekah’?” You repeated it best you could, but the word was always spoken so swift and softly that it was hard to remember the exact pronunciation. Saying ‘buir’ had been much easier.

Mando’s hand fell from your shoulder and his entire body went tense. You furrowed your eyebrows at his reaction. He let out a soft cough, and now it seemed like he was the one searching for something to say. Your distraction had been successful. However, now you were very curious as to what he was calling you. Mando didn’t seem like the type to secretly be calling you ‘dumbass’ all the time.

“It’s nearly 2.” He blurted. “We don’t want to be late.”

“Right!” You nodded. As curious as you were, you’d happily accept any advancement of this moment. Anything to avoid him asking you what was wrong again. He passed you to enter the building and you took in one last shaky breath before following.

The clinic’s waiting room was filled with children. This office saw patients of all ages, but with school starting up next week it seemed most families were doing exactly as Din was⏤ getting his child ready for day one. The schedule was running late so despite it being nearly half an hour past the appointment time, Din sat in the waiting room right beside you. Grogu had wiggled out of his lap to run around the room with other kids around his age. It made him nervous at first. He wanted his son to have friends to have fun to not ever feel left out, but the anxiety of him not fitting in was painful. You had reassured him that everything was fine, and you had been right. Grogu squealed and laughed as he played with three other kids.

Din was leaning back in his seat, hands clasped over his abdomen and ankles crossed, in an attempt to look as casual as he possibly could. The truth was the opposite. Din couldn’t stop peering out of the corner of his eyes at you. Luckily, the helmet made it a lot easier for him to hide his actions unlike you. Din was still worried about you. It was obvious something was making you uncomfortable, and he had been determined to get to the bottom of it. Until, of course, you innocently asked what ‘cyar’ika’ meant. That had thrown him.

The first time he called you ‘cyar’ika’ it had been entirely accidental. You had been hesitant about asking him questions about himself, and he didn’t want you to feel that way. In his reassurance the word had just slipped out. Since then, it fell out a lot more. Often by choice. Din liked the way it sounded when he was referring to you with it. He liked that every time it left his lips, you’d turn to give him attention with your pretty smile.

Technically, the answer shouldn’t be embarrassing to him. The best translation of ‘cyar’ika’ was ‘darling’ or ‘sweetheart’, but that didn’t necessarily mean it had to be used in a romantic setting alone. It was a generalized term of endearment. He could’ve said that. Din’s problem was that he knew, deep down, he didn’t feel just a ‘generalized endearment’ for you. Din was much too attracted to you to pretend it was said with any other connotation.

His panic hadn’t helped his situation. Din spent his entire life being trained for a fight. He was taught from a young age that panic led to mistakes and mistakes led to death or worse. It had been ingrained into every single cell of his body to the point where staying calm was a muscle memory for him. It didn’t take a conscious decision. It was his default, and that default was half the reason he was so successful as a bounty hunter. Despite all of that, all it took was one innocent look from you⏤ one simple question⏤ and he melted into a pathetic puddle.

Din glanced your way again. You sat ramrod straight in your seat, shoulders tense, and your fingers were tangled together in a vice grip. He wasn’t sure how you weren’t hurting yourself holding your hands together like that. Whereas his entire body sat casual, though a farce, yours screamed stress. His own hands came unclasped as the urge to touch you in reassurance overcame him. Din managed to resist and instead crossed his arms in hopes that this position would better control his instinct.

“I haven’t been to a doctors office in a while.” You blurted. The sound of your voice had his head snap to look at you in a nearly comical speed. You were watching Grogu play while you spoke in a whisper. “I guess I’m just nervous. It’s stupid.”

“How you feel is never stupid.” Din replied. He shifted so he sat up rather than leaned back. “You didn’t have to come with us. If I had known—”

You chuckled, “I know. You wouldn’t have made me. I think you might be a little too understanding for a boss.” Din swallowed the lump that had formed in his throat. That was true. Kriff, if you knew any of the thoughts he had you’d consider him the worst boss in this world— maybe in the entire Outer Rim. “I wanted to be here. For Grogu and— and you.”

“I appreciate that.”

“It’s no big deal.”

Din disagreed. You were acting against an active fear you had for him and his son. That meant a lot to him. He knew the kind of strength it took to press onward into a setting of discomfort.

“Can I ask why?” Din asked. “Why haven’t you been to a clinic in a while?”

You shrugged and your gaze drifted down to your hands which you began to wring together. Din stayed silent. He was content with giving you all the time in the world to respond. Finally, you looked up to meet his gaze. You smiled and your words came out jokingly, “Nobody likes doctors.”

“Still important to go now and then.”

“Uh huh.” You tilted your head at him, smile growing impish. “And when’s the last time you saw a doctor? Mr. Big Bad Bounty Hunter?”

Din’s lips curled up in amusement. He loved that you were comfortable enough to joke with and tease him. He shook his head. “I have bacta and a cautery at home. Those don’t require me to sit in a waiting room for 45 minutes.”

“Fair point.” You chuckled. “Bacta and cautery do have their own faults, you know.”

“Like?” Din asked. He didn’t really care about the faults of either, but if this distracted you from your nerves he’d play along. Plus, the sound of your voice was like music to his ears. He’d sit and listen to you read the instruction manual for a caf machine without complaint.

“Well,” You began, your shoulders beginning to relax, “Bacta is incredible. No doubt. Society called it a medical miracle and they weren’t wrong. It’s only as good as the person using it though. If the wound isn’t cleaned right or debris is left inside when the Bacta is applied then everything gets trapped inside as your tissue heals. Plus, if it’s already an internal issue Bacta can’t target that. It does nothing for fever control or symptom management.” Din could tell you were getting into the conversation because you twisted in your seat to face him. “If you use Bacta on a fracture, but you don’t set it right then it heals wrong. If you mess up the measurements in a Bacta tank or the settings are wrong it can ‘overheal’ a person which just means a person’s tissues and cells rejuvenate and are reborn so fast that it floods the body. Those excess cells wreck havoc and turn to tumors wherever they land.” Din let his eyes shamelessly trace your features. This was the first topic, other than Grogu, that he had seen you get so excited about. You pointed at him with a mocking grin, “And don’t get me started on a cautery gun.”

Din chuckled, “And what exactly is wrong with my cautery gun?”

“You’re essentially creating a wound to fix a different wound.” You scoffed. “It’s great for stemming blood loss and destroying infected tissue, but between infections and scarring⏤”

Din leaned toward you, a confident tilt to his head, “I’ve never had a cautery induced infection.”

“Never?”

“Never.”

You twisted your lips, amused, and he shifted so he was as close to you as he could manage in the separate chairs. You shook your head. “Fine. You, Marshal Mando, are the one exception of the system. Congratulations.”

Din let out a breathy laugh, and he wondered what it would sound like to hear his name spoken in your voice. The beeping of his communicator made you alter your position in the chair so you were back to where you had started. Din did the same and resisted muttering the curse words bouncing around in his head. Looking at the screen he saw it was Cara. Dank farrik. She’d only call if it were actually important.

He accepted the call and Cara started talking without preamble.

“Mando, we got pirates. Mayfeld and I are on our way to the tarmac where a group of them are causing trouble, but Karga said a few were spotted by the school.”

This time he didn’t hold back the curse that came to mind. Din turned to look at you and you gave him a reassuring nod. “Go.”

“I’ll be back as soon as I can.” Din stood.

“We’ll probably still be in here.” You motioned to the waiting room.

Din reached out to squeeze your shoulder and on his way out told Grogu to behave.

Kriffing pirates.

Mando had been an excellent distraction. You had never been a fan of pirates at baseline, they were always the worst to deal with when they stumbled into the hospital in Coruscant, but now you really hated them. You tried to focus on Grogu who was still playing with a different set of kids as the ones he had been with before got called back to be seen. Before they left, you had actually exchanged a few frequency numbers to set up play dates at some point.

“Grogu?” A nurse poked her head out of a door.

He dropped the blocks he was holding to perk up at the sound of his name. Still in a playful and active mood, Grogu wanted to walk on his own rather than be held so you walked by his side as you both followed behind the nurse.

She went about taking vitals and getting some more information before leading you back to a simple room. You sat down in one of the two chairs in the corner, by the exam table, and let Grogu bounce around the room to burn off his excess energy.

“You are gonna sleep so good tonight.” You chuckled.

“No sleep. No.” Grogu chirped. “No, no.”

That was quickly becoming one of the kid’s favorite Basic words to use. You glanced up at the clock on the wall to see it was about an hour after your appointment time. Understaffed clinics got backed up, it happened, and you understood that better than most. You felt bad for the poor physician running around the office today. You were actually hoping you’d have to wait a bit longer though.

Mando wanted to be here for this, to be here for his son, and you hated that the damned pirates got in the way of that. If you could swap roles with him and handle the pirates so he could stay here with his son you would’ve. Unfortunately, that would’ve been messy for every single person involved. You didn’t have an extensive history doing well in a fight, and the only kind of blade you knew how to use was a scalpel. You’d never even held a blaster before.

“Skraan!” Grogu called out.

You shook your head. “We just ate lunch, buddy. I think we have some snacks left.” You dug around the baby bag you had packed for the day and found the container of star shaped cereal puffs you had put together this morning. “Here we go.”

Grogu bounced over to you happily and held his hands up to you. You dropped a few stars into his palms and watched him eat them one by one. He’d explored the room while eating the stars and would only return back to you for more stars. That became the routine for the next ten minutes and by then you were out of star shaped snacks.

A knock at the door startled you. “Come in!” You placed the container into the bag and motioned for Grogu to come sit on your lap. “Hi. I’m⏤”

“This is Grogu?” The man interrupted your introduction. He was older, you’d guess in his late sixties or early seventies, and was human. Thick gray hair covered his head and it matched the thick mustache above his lips.

“Yes. We’re here for⏤”

“Let’s see, school registration check up.” He read off the holopad in his hand. You shifted in your seat, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance, and bit back a snarky reply. “We’ll get some blood for lab work, give the usual booster shots, and get you on your way, yeah?”

You held Grogu’s hands, skeptical, “I was actually hoping⏤”

“There’s no need for⏤”

“Please stop interrupting me.” You snapped. There was nothing you hated more than not being able to get a thought out. Maybe you’d have more patience for it if you hadn’t spent all your training being looked down at for being a young woman. You couldn’t count the number of bloated attendings you worked under who were just like the man in front of you. The doctor stayed silent but you could see annoyance on his features. “Who are you?”

“I’m sorry?”

“When you came in, you never introduced yourself.” You said but paused before saying more. This wasn’t a hospital you had any sort of credentialing in. That meant if you wanted anything done, you were gonna have to stroke an ego. You cleared your throat and shook your head. “Sorry, I’m sure it slipped your mind with how busy you are today. I bet they have you running all over the place.”

The man chuckled. “You aren’t wrong. My name is Dr. Daelar. I am sorry about the wait time. I was caught in a different procedure room for the last hour doing a cryoablation of some skin lesions.” You resisted the urge to scoff. Doing cryoablation correctly took five minutes tops. Doing it insanely, incorrectly could maybe stretch it out to ten. You didn’t appreciate the excuse because you knew it was a lie. “As I was saying, we’ll draw some blood and get those booster shots going.”

“Thank you. We’re actually going to be forgoing the blood tests, and I was hoping you’d take a listen to his lungs.” You replied. Over lunch, Mando had explained that he wasn’t comfortable with anybody drawing blood from Grogu. He hadn’t explained the exact reasoning, but you gathered it was something from their tricky past. Even with your back to him, you could tell the topic made him mildly uncomfortable. “He’s had this night time cough I’ve noticed⏤”

Daelar shook his head. “That’s not wise. I strongly recommend the blood tests.”

“Okay.” You drew the word out. “Thank you, and I appreciate your thoughts on the matter⏤”

“These aren’t my thoughts, these are the facts.” Daelar interrupted again. “Blood work should be checked routinely for chronic illnesses. He needs this done.”

You didn’t know if Grogu could tell that you were in a bad mood, but he began to squirm and whine in your lap. He turned around and pushed up on his tip toes so he could bury his face into the crook of your neck. You scooped him up to hold him closer making the action easier.

“I understand the benefits of routine lab work, and I understand the risks of refusing.” You said as calmly as you could. If this was about legal issues then you’d say the magic words that he could type in his chart and waive all liability off himself. “That being said, we’re still refusing a blood draw today.”

Daelar scoffed and shook his head. “You’re being unreasonable. As a first time mom it’s understandable to be nervous and jittery, but it’s no reason to put your son at risk.”

Oh, you really didn’t like this man. Karga had somehow managed to hire a physician that represented everything wrong with healthcare. Nice. Between the bullying and assumptions, that would be enough to piss you off alone. Add the stress of being in a clinic after so long? You really had no chance of getting out of this without losing your cool.

“You’re not drawing labs on Grogu.” You snapped.

Daelar shook his head and shrugged. “Then I don’t know if I can clear him to start school.”

“Blood work isn’t necessary for school registration. Just the boosters.” Your voice began to raise.

“Ma’am⏤” He began once more but a solid knock at the door interrupted the interaction. A nurse poked her head in one second later and Daelar snapped at her. “We’re busy in here.”

“Sorry, sir. The child’s father is here.”

Daelar smirked at you. “Good. Perhaps, this will settle the matter at hand.”

The nurse slid out of the room and was replaced by Mando. You took in the sight of him, unharmed and unmarred, and a wave of relief washed over you. If dealing with the pirates had led to a fire fight then Mando came away with no obvious injuries. Mando’s helmet tilted just a bit and you could feel his eyes on you in the same way you had looked over him. His shoulders stiffened marginally, his stance still intimidating, and you wondered if your anger was notable. You rubbed Grogu’s back soothingly.

“Oh. Marshal!” Daelar greeted. “I had no idea this was your son. I⏤”

“What’s wrong?” Mando walked over to stand beside you, ignoring Daelar entirely. He rubbed Grogu’s head and let his hand trail from his son’s head to rest on your upper back. The way he stood beside your seat nearly blocked Daelar from your view.

You lifted your chin to stare up at the T-shaped visor. “Dr. Daelar has been adamant about a blood draw despite my very clear refusal.”

Mando turned around and his hands drifted to his hips. Daelar shifted awkwardly from across the room and he let out a cough. The doctor held his hands up with a smile, “No, I think this is simply a misunderstanding.” Your eyes widened, jaw falling open. “The little Mrs," Again with the assumptions, “She misunderstood me is all. I was simply offering my recommendation, but obviously the decision falls to your hands at the end of the day. We can just work on the boosters and finish the paperwork for registration.”

A disbelieving guffaw left your throat at the audacity of this man. Mando glanced over his shoulder down at you, and you took a sharp breath through your nose. Whatever. As long as Grogu got the care he needed. Mando looked back to Daelar.

“Have you listened to my son’s lungs?”

Daelar’s eyes widened. “Hmm? Why?”

“I know Soran would have brought it up. She’s attentive. Was there a misunderstanding about Grogu’s cough?”

“No. Not at all. Sorry.” Daelar sighed. “Bring the little guy over to the exam table.”

Without speaking, Mando held his arms out to take Grogu, and you tried to hand him over. Grogu clung to your shirt, his claws digging into the material, and he buried his face further into your neck. He grumbled, “No.” You shot Mando a look, and he reached out to help detangle Grogu from you. The little boy didn’t give in.

“Grogu.” Mando said firmly. He set a hand on his back. “Come to me, ad’ika.”

“No, no!” Grogu finally lifted his head to look at his father’s visor. He shook his head and you had to lean back to keep his ears from hitting you. Grogu whined, “Trikar’la, buir!”

Despite all the tension, despite the fact that you still only knew very, very basic Mando’a, you gasped with a swell of pride. Unable to bite back the smile you wore, you cooed. “Grogu, that was so good.” You had no idea what he said beyond referring to his father, but his words sounded like it could’ve been a full sentence. Plus, he had said it in front of Daelar, a virtual stranger. “Good job, sweetie.”

You lifted your eyes to Mando, expecting a similar reaction, but his entire frame was tense. Again, his helmet gave no signs of anger, but a seething energy radiated from him. You furrowed your brow in confusion. Grogu went back to hiding his face in the crook of your neck, hugging you, and Mando shifted his hands so one rested on your back and arm.

“Let me help you up.” Mando whispered in a kind tone. “You can sit on the exam table with him.”

“Alright.” You mumbled.

You didn’t need any help standing, but Mando kept his hands on you while you rose and all the way to the exam table. Once you sat down on the sanitation paper, Mando settled beside you. He kept his arm behind you, his hand leaning on the table by your opposite thigh. You turned to look at Mando, and because of his positioning you found yourself dangerously close to his chest. If you leaned forward you could bury your face in the crook of his neck the same way Grogu was doing to you.

His head began to turn to look at you and you quickly focused your gaze forward. Daelar came over with his stethoscope and began to listen to Grogu’s lungs. He did this for a few minutes before pulling back with a nod. Daelar cleared his throat. “I’m hearing a little wheezing. Very mild. I can prescribe a nebulizer treatment at home before he goes to bed. Hold the mask over his face and just let him breathe in the medicine.”

“Thank you.” Mando said, but his tone was more intimidating than grateful.

“I’ll send a nurse in with the boosters and the medicine.” Daelar said before rushing out of the room.

You scoffed, still in disbelief on how that had gone, but when the door closed Mando shifted so he stood directly in front of you. Now he had a hand resting on the table on either side of your thighs. You blinked in surprise at the sudden motion.

“Are you alright?” Mando asked.

You forced a chuckle. “Yeah. I mean, that guy was a total ass, but he wasn’t the first jerk I’ve dealt with. Won’t be the last.” You continued rubbing Grogu’s back, not knowing what else to do with your own hands. “Granted, I could’ve done without the gaslighting, but…” It occurred to you then that Mando hadn’t hesitated to take your side. “Thanks. For having my back, I mean.”

“Always.” Mando replied with ease. He let out a soft sigh. “I’m talking to Karga about this.”

You laughed. “You’re gonna get a doctor fired because he was rude to me?” Mando didn’t reply, but his shrug was highly unconvincing. “It’s fine.”

“He upset you. That’s not fine. Grogu said⏤”

You gasped, “Yeah! What did Grogu say?”

Mando paused before leaning back. “He said you were sad.”

Your eyes widened in surprise, and you glanced down to gently pull Grogu away from your chest to look at him. He stared up at you with concern in his large eyes, and you gave him a smile. “I’m okay.” You gave his head a light scratch and let your fingers trail to give his ear a light, loving tongue. “Thanks for looking out for me, little guy.”

Grogu lifted his hands toward your face so you brought it down toward him. He lightly patted your cheeks and did the same thing he did this morning⏤ pressed his forehead as close to yours as you could get it. Everyone in Nevarro showed different forms of affection to Grogu, he was too cute to not pay attention to, but the most important sign of affection was the way Mando lightly set his forehead to his. You had to assume that in Grogu’s mind, that was an important thing. The fact that he was sharing that bit of love with you was overwhelming. You tried not to linger on the thought too long this morning⏤ not wanting to fall apart⏤ but Mando being here sticking up for you without hesitation only added to the situation.

You felt yourself begin to get choked up and quickly cleared your throat.

“Here. Why don’t you go to your dad?” You held out Grogu, and Mando must have sensed your distress because he took the child with no question. You gave him a broad smile. “I⏤I have to use the bathroom. I’ll be right back.”

You hopped off the exam table and as you pulled the door open Mando called out. “Are you sure you’re alright, cyar’ika?”

You let a wide smile fill your features, every bit of real, and nodded sincerely, “I am. I promise. I’m⏤ This…” Considering how grateful you felt right now, you owed him as much truth as you could give. You nodded. “This is the best I’ve felt in a really long time.”

Mando nodded once, silent. Grogu lifted a hand and gave you a small wave. You rushed out of the room and made a beeline straight for the bathroom you had passed on the way into the procedure room. Finally away from prying eyes, you leaned against the locked bathroom door and began to trace the scar along your collarbone. Even with your fingers ghosting over the ugly patch of skin, you felt happy⏤ cared for. Maker, you didn’t think you’d actually feel that way ever again.

mando’a translations:

cyar’ika: darling, sweetheart

trikar’la: sad

buir: father

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 4 months

Note

AITA for vague posting about my ex after he got me an expensive but upsetting gift?

I (23 m) and my ex (22 m) have only been separated from our 2 year long relationship for a few months now. I was the one who broke things off and I wanted to stay friends, however, for reasons I feel are obvious, this was super difficult for him. We went a while without talking regularly, and he was often very upset with me and short, and would vague me online (very privately). It made me really upset to be treated that way but I didnt say anything since he was grieving and processing our breakup. About a month into our split, my service cat passed I was extremely distraught and upset, like this was my best friend and it was so sudden, I was unstable from grief, but he reached out with his condolences and I really appreciated it. We talked more and seemed to be reconnecting and I was super excited about it. I came over to him to help him fix his car, picked him up from the airport, etc. I had missed him so much and were finally hanging out again!! I had been grieving quietly for another month when, while I'm petsitting his cats for him, he tells me about a gift he left for me. I open it to a letter saying that basically he was having a hard time getting over our breakup and that he didnt know if hed ever be over it, but he was sorry for my recent loss. I unpackaged the gift to reveal one of those 3D felted cat portraits of my late best friend. It was too much for me to see him in 3D again and I started sobbing and freaking out immediately. I texted him thanking him for the gift, but saying it was too soon for me to have recieved it, but I didnt elaborate much on that for fear he'd be upset that his gift has hurt me. I didn't have many other people to personally reach out to about my grief. My friends all seriously disliked this guy for most of my relationship with him (he had done some really upsetting shit to me several times before he was medicated and they thought he was bad for me) and I didnt want to talk shit about him like theyd want to, I like this guy a lot... I also posted privately online that I had recieved a gift (not saying what it was, not saying who it was from) that I wasnt ready to get and that it was sending me into a grief spiral again. I didnt use his name because I worried people would comment to talk shit about him and he would see. Well a friend of mine made a comment saying that whoever gave it to me should have thought more about how I would feel to recieve it. I responded basically telling my friend that I wasnt upset about the gift giver, just the gift itself had caused me to relive some stuff I wasnt ready for. But my ex saw and reached out to me saying "oh so your friends think I'm a bad person? I can take the gift back then." Which I tried to argue that I really loved the gift and that I didnt think he was a bad person. I showed him that I had disagreed with my friend, and rhat I wasnt venting about a good thing he did for me, but rather the post was more about my grief for the loss of my pet. The argument basically ended with me saying that I felt I needed to be totally emotionally sterile for his comfort and wasnt allowed to feel my grief publicly, and him saying that I could feel grief but I shouldnt have vagued him because then people could freely comment and judge him since he was nameless in the post. I deleted my post and agreed with him that I probably shouldnt have made the post at all, I apologized and hoped we could move on, but he replied with "dont talk to me" and blocked me on the social media where I made the post. I ended up reaching out again a few days ago (a week from our fight) to apologize for having gone too far during our argument and suggesting we meet in person to talk. He told me that our argument had made him the most manic he had ever been and that he appreciated the option to talk it out in person but he was very angry that I would treat him like that after saying I wanted to maintain a friendship. I apologized again, saying I wish we could be nicer to each other and we havent talked since.

(I'm trying to keep this as neutral as possible, all my friends are on my side but I still feel like it might be because they just never liked him...)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #pet death cw

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jupitervega · 11 months

Text

fleein the south part II

hi, i'm ri & i'm an autistic nonbinary trans guy-lite-ish person. 4 years ago i moved out to denver from mississippi (where i was born & raised) & immediately had a massive improvement in my quality of life. i was able to access medical & psychiatric care, my career stabilized, people were addressin me with correct terms for the most part, & i was startin to feel like life had finally begun

unfortunately when the lease ran out on our house end of summer last year my roommates decided not to renew, & then the people who were gonna be my new roommates backed out last minute. in a panic i looked for other options but with time runnin short & top surgery approachin i decided to recover at a friend's house & move back to mississippi once my surgeon cleared me to travel cross country so i could regroup somewhere i figured would be less expensive & at least somewhat familiar

that, friends, was a very costly & painful mistake! every single problem that made me wanna move away in the first place has only exacerbated!

i'm comin up on 8 months post top surgery, i have a beard, & i'm still gettin called ma'am/she/her. trump flags & signs still adorn many yards/porches here. hatred & bigotry run rampant in local politics. the other day i didn't even enter one of the convenience stores in the town where i live when i stopped by because they had posted a very thinly veiled racist sign on the door

when i arrived back here i was not even a full month outta surgery & i had a minor complication, so i went to the emergency room cause what else was i sposed to do? applied for charity as i had around $100 to my name at that point, which i THINK? got approved? also applied for mississippi medicaid the same day, which got denied almost outright as i have no children. so i've been uninsured since november & rationin the 3 month supply of my psych/migraine meds i received before leavin colorado for goin on 7 months. never mind bein able to access hrt!

job prospects here are Not Great! i've had to collect unemployment for a while as i cannot for the life of me find a full time job with a livin wage. otherwise i literally cannot make ends meet as the jobs i've held so far down here are payin average 50% or less of what i was makin in denver. even with the part time gigs i've had i have yet to crack 30hr/wk on any kind of regular basis

housin is an absolute shitshow. my lease is up 1 july (got a month extension) & i've been searchin everywhere for an affordable place of my own or at least a good roommate. the more affordable studio/1bd apartments go for around $700 & up, but most have income requirements of 2.5-3x the monthly rent which, considerin previous point abt wages, is near impossible. roommate listins are available but the majority are questionable at best & seekin a live-in bangmaid at worst

with all these considerations i spent the past few weeks feelin worse & worse lookin for somewhere close to the job i currently have. the leases are like 6mo-1y so i was picturin another year down here & how i was gonna survive, let alone thrive. my thoughts got darker & darker. i'd wake up in the mornin & be sad/disappointed i'd survived the night

this is no way to live

i snapped a few days ago. said to myself "if i'm destined to struggle wherever i go, i'd rather do it somewhere i actually Wanted to be in the first place" & started applyin for housin in denver. waitin to hear back from my first option & have secured a backup with a friend with a spare room for 6mo in case that falls through

right now i need help gettin the hell out! i've got first month's rent already put back, i can continue to collect unemployment until i land a good job in denver, & i'm already reachin out to find somewhere to work. i just don't have anywhere to go for another month or two to save the money i'll need to travel almost 1200mi (~1900km) back to colorado. i'll need at least $500 to make gas/food happen durin the time it will take me to get there, & i need it by the first of july (38 days from day of postin)

please help me escape!!!

ca: $jupitervega

vmo: jupitervega

ppal

please please please donate whatever you're able! pls boost!

thank u so much for readin, pls have an item from my emergency happy photo folder for yr enjoyment

#emergency #pls help #pls boost #emergency move #emergency transport #fundraising #help #mutual aid #mutual fund #direct action #direct aid #help pls #emergency assistance #time sensitive

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sirfrogsworth · 5 months

Note

Hi Froggy,

I hope you've been well! I wanted to reach out and first say that you inspired me many years ago to rescue a corgi! She was a grump, I think she may have taken her name (Elphaba) too literally. She recently crossed the rainbow bridge, but she was such fun and a joy. I hope our pups are playing together, somewhere peaceful.

I have a question unrelated to stumpy Corgis. I'm a veteran birth doula and an aspiring birth photographer! I've been trying to research cameras, lenses, and all sorts of technical stuff. I'm leaving towards purchasing the new Nikon ZF, because of the purported low-light capabilities.

Lenses are throwing me completely.

Do you have any guidance or resources to help a newbie like myself? Not really looking for an in-depth answer (I know how complicated things can get), but maybe a general push in the right direction?

If you don't want or can't answer, no hard feelings! I enjoy just seeing your posts on my dash and I hope the rest of your year is amazing and calm!-Steph

(continued...)

My budget is pretty flexible, since I am an independent contractor the expense would be tallied towards my taxes. But that being said, maybe $1-3k? I know it's important to invest more into lenses!

Usually, I am in a hospital, and lighting is extremely variable. I would be shooting mostly in low-light before baby is born. During delivery and after there is usually a spotlight or fluorescent lighting. The low lighting is exactly why I was looking at the new ZF, but if you have suggestions on that too I'm happy to hear them!

It's very cramped when the baby is born, most medical and support staff are clustered around the laboring person.

Warning! A lot of birth photos will have baby crowning or blood. It's a messy business, so I don't want to trigger you if you're sensitive to those sorts of images.

I will not be able to be directly next to the laboring parent, more than likely I'll be a few feet away, possibly behind the parents or standing on a stool.

After the baby is born, I'll be able to get closer to both parents and baby!

Here's a portfolio that is close to what I would like to provide (once again TW for blood and crowning):

https://www.sarahginderphotography.com/birth-photography-north-new-jersey

I cannot thank you enough for any help or advice, this whole endeavor is like learning a new language!

----------------------------

Note from Future Froggie...

I went way overboard on this response, as usual. I have decided I'm going to break it up into 3 parts.

First, an encyclopedia of lens terminology.

Second, a camera and lens buying guide.

Third, practical advice for shooting in cramped rooms with tricky lighting conditions.

While this will be geared towards the original ask, I think this could be helpful to a lot of people. So, let's learn about lenses!

--------------------------

Lenses throw everybody, just because there are so many options. It can be overwhelming to look at a picture like this and wonder what will suit you best.

It's a lot of pressure too, because lenses are more important than the camera in a lot of ways. Interchangeable lenses are probably the biggest advantage big cameras have over smartphones these days.

But I think I can help get you up to speed.

The following terms are photospeak you might hear in camera and lens reviews and if you aren't familiar with them, it can make it difficult to figure out what camera and lens to purchase.

I tried to put these in an order that makes sense, but some terms relate to other terms and you may have to read the list twice to make sure you understand how everything mushes together.

Froggie's Encyclopedia of Lens Terms

Lens Mount

Every camera has a specific lens mount. Sony calls theirs the E Mount. Nikon has the F Mount (older) and the Z Mount (mirrorless). So you need to make sure the lens you are looking at is compatible with the mount on your camera.

Mirrorless cameras all upgraded to a mount with a "short flange distance." Going without a mirror allows the lenses to be closer to the sensor.

Long story short... Short flange distance = easier lens design = sharper/lighter lenses.

However, if you want to use older DSLR lenses, there are adapters for Nikon and Canon that allow you to do that.

Aperture

"Aperture" is an opening at the front of the lens. It gets bigger to let in more light or smaller to restrict light.

Wider apertures have a shallower depth of field, causing blurry foregrounds and backgrounds outside the plane of focus. Smaller apertures expand the focus area to keep more stuff from being blurry, but they let in much less light and are difficult to use in dark environments.

Aperture can be a creative decision or it can be a technical decision or it can be a mix of both. If you need a blurry background, use a wider aperture. If you need everything in focus, use a smaller aperture. If you need more light in a dark scene, open it up.

F-stop

"F-stop" is a number representing how big the aperture is. A lower number is a bigger hole. Higher number is a smaller hole. It is helpful to memorize f-stops as they are not easily divisible. Cameras generally allow third stops, half stops, and full stops.

These are all a "full stop" apart.

Stop Down/Open Up

When someone says to "stop down" a lens, they are telling you to make the aperture smaller or use a higher f-stop number.

If they say to "open up" they are saying to make the hole bigger or lower the f-stop number.

Depth of Field (DoF)

Depth of field refers to how much of the photo is in focus. Things in front of the plane of focus will get blurrier and blurrier and things behind the plane of focus will get blurrier and blurrier. A shallow depth of field means only a tiny sliver of your image will be in focus. A deep depth of field means almost everything will be in focus.

The wider the aperture, the shallower the depth of field.

The smaller the aperture, the deeper the depth of field.

Focal Plane or Plane of Focus

The focal plane is the sharpest point within the depth of field. You can imagine an imaginary section of 3D space where things within the depth of field are sharp and things outside are blurry. The farther away from the focal plane, the blurrier they will get. But the focal plane is not always dead center of the depth of field.

Typically, at close distances, things will be sharp half in front of where you focused and half behind where you focused. As things get farther away, that changes to more 1/3 in front and 2/3 behind. The ratio changes even more at greater distances, but the 50-50 and 1/3-2/3 ratios are typically what photographers try to remember.

Shallow Depth of Field

The focal plane is something you need to be very aware of at close distances with a wide aperture—as the depth of field can end up as a tiny sliver.

Let's say you are only a few feet away from a baby and you have the aperture set at f/1.2. You focus on the nearest baby eye, and then you notice its ears and nose are out of focus.

The plane of focus and shallow depth of field are causing this issue. This might be a worthy compromise if you are in a dark room and your ISO is very high and you are worried about too much noise.

However, if you can use a flash or some kind of lighting, you can stop down your lens and increase that depth of field around the focal plane.

Bokeh

Bokeh is the quality of the blurriness. Some people are more obsessed with how good the blurry parts of the photo are more so than the in focus parts. Bokeh is typically judged by "bokeh balls" which are just out-of-focus lights in the background. While I like attractive bokeh balls as much as the next photographer, I will admit this is one of the sillier aspects of photography.

Field of View (FoV)/Angle of View

This is how much stuff you can fit in frame at a given distance. Wide angle lenses can fit more stuff in at a shorter distance and telephoto lenses can fill the frame with stuff that is farther away. The focal length of the lens determines the field of view. The focal length is designated by millimeters and the field of view by degrees.

Focal Length

Technically, this is "the distance between the lens's optical center and the camera's sensor."

In simpler terms, this is how you determine the field of view of a given lens.

A short focal length, like 10mm, will have a wider field of view. You have to be very close to your subject to fill the frame with them.

And a longer focal length, like 500mm, will allow you to fill the frame with your subject from farther distances.

Typically all lenses are designated by their focal length. If someone says, "Hand me the 50" they mean a 50mm lens.

35mm Equivalent

Not every camera has the same sized sensor. So when we talk about lenses, we need a reference to help us understand how a given lens will behave. A 50mm f/2.8 lens does not have the same field of view or depth of field when placed on different sensors. So, we need a standard for comparison.

The standard that is used is the "full frame" sensor which is roughly the same size as a 35mm piece of film.

Anything smaller is considered a "cropped sensor."

Those cropped sensor cameras have a "crop factor"—a simple multiplier that helps you understand how lenses compare. And when you use this multiplier it tells you the "35mm equivalent."

Confused yet? Yeah, sorry, it would be easier if camera manufacturers chose metrics that didn't change depending on the sensor, but this allows them to make their cameras and lenses seem more impressive in the marketing.

There are two main cropped sensors for ILCs. (Interchangeable lens cameras.) APS-C and Micro Four Thirds. They have a "crop factor" of 1.5x and 2x respectively. The Micro 4/3 sensor is half the size of Full Frame, therefore it has a 2x crop factor. And when you apply this crop factor to the aperture and focal length you can determine how a lens will behave.

For example, a 50mm f/2.8 lens on a micro 4/3 sensor would behave the same as a 100mm f/5.6 lens on a full frame—as 100mm is 2x 50mm and f/5.6 is 2 stops above f/2.8.

As you can see, the Micro 4/3 lens is not going to do as well in low light. The iPhone boasts an aperture of f/1.8 on its main lens, but when you figure out the 35mm equivalent, it's more like an f/8 lens.

I went to all the effort to explain this because it demonstrates that larger sensors allow you to work in cramped spaces with less light. If you want to use a 50mm in a hospital room, you probably can on a full frame. But on a Micro 4/3 you might need to be out in the hall because your lens is acting like it is 100mm. So the Zf would be a good choice in this regard.

Camera Shake

This is the bad kind of blurry. Humans are not tripods, so when you are handholding a lens, you need to make sure your shutter speed is fast enough to freeze the action of your image. Camera shake is very easy to control on wide angle lenses and very difficult to manage with telephoto lenses.

Reciprocal Rule

The reciprocal rule states that in order to get sharp photos without blurry camera shake, you must set your shutter speed to 1 over twice the focal length of your lens. So if you have a 100mm lens, you need to set your shutter speed at 1/200 to be safe.

This rule breaks down at a shutter speed of 1/50 if there is anything moving in your image. So if a dog is running or a car is driving by, it will have a motion trail, but at least it won't be due to your shaky hands.

Image Stabilization

This is a feature some lenses have that helps reduce camera shake. Image stabilization can counteract shaky hands and let you get sharp photos with a much slower shutter speed. Newer cameras have sensor stabilization which does the same thing. And if you pair up a stabilized sensor with a stabilized lens, it is almost as effective as using a tripod.

Stabilization is measured in stops. You might hear a lens has 4 stops of stabilization. That means you can handhold the lens and not get camera shake with a shutter speed 4 stops below the reciprocal rule. So for that 100mm lens, that 1/200 becomes roughly 1/12. And if your sensor has 4 stops, you could handhold a shot for nearly a second without any shake.

However, at shutter speeds that slow, if anything in the frame is moving, they will probably have motion blur. But for still life scenes, or maybe a sleeping baby, this can be very handy if you don't have a tripod with you.

If being able to handhold at lower shutter speeds seems important, then you might want to seek out a lens with stabilization and pair it to a camera with sensor stabilization for maximum stable-osity.

Lens Compression

Lens compression is kind of a myth, but I think we still call it compression because it is easier to explain to beginners than optical physics. The lens doesn't really compress anything, it's actually a matter of distance and the aforementioned physics. But I'm going to go with the easy explanation for now.

Lens compression is a phenomenon seen with different focal lengths. If you take a photo with a 500mm lens, the background will seem to compress with the foreground. Thus objects in the background will seem much larger in size.

This also happens with faces.

Wider lenses exaggerate distance. At 10mm, the lens would only be a few inches away from someone's face.

From the lens's point of view, the ears are several times farther away from the lens than the tip of the nose. So the lens is like, "Your ears are really far away! And far away things are really small, right?" So the lens gives us a big nose and small ears and makes us look a bit alien.

But at 100mm, the lens will be several yards away.

From this perspective, the lens feels like your ears and your nose are nearly the same distance away. And the lens is now like, "Things that are the same distance away do not get bigger or smaller." The lens seems to compress or flatten the face, causing a more flattering appearance in the image.

Minimum focus distance

This is sometimes called the working distance. This is how close you can get to your subject while maintaining focus. If you get too close, your camera will just hunt and freak out perpetually until you back up and it can lock on again. This isn't always advertised prominently for lenses, so you need to make sure the lens will be able to focus in the space you plan to use it.

Extension Tubes

Sometimes called "macro extension tubes." These are spacers you put between your camera and lens to decrease the minimum focus distance. In some cases you can even turn a normal lens into a macro lens. These tubes are able to stack and the more you put on, the more into the macro realm you can go. They come in smart and dumb versions. The dumb ones require you to manual focus whereas the smart ones can still use the autofocus system. I highly recommend the smart ones, as they are not too much more expensive.

Lens Imperfections

There are a few imperfections that can plague all lenses and their quality is sometimes judged by how well they mitigate those imperfections. Here are some of those attributes.

Lens Distortion

As lenses get wider, they allow a larger field of view by accepting light rays that are coming from the side of your lens. Let's look at this image again.

Your lens then has to correct those rays and send them to a square, flat sensor. If you look at the 180 degree fisheye, that entire arc has to be flattened and made square. And as good as optical engineering has become, the wider the lens, the harder it is to keep the image from distorting.

This is typically called "barrel distortion." Minor distortion can actually be corrected in editing software. Every lens has correction algorithms. Though sometimes it is best to embrace the distortion, like on a fisheye lens. Make the distortion a feature and not a bug.

Chromatic Aberration

This is the fancy name for color fringing. This is a defect in the lens that cause false colors to contaminate certain objects in a photo. Typically this happens around dark skinny things against a bright background, such as tree branches.

Modern lenses have nearly eliminated this, except for the super cheap models, but if you do end up with fringing, this can be easily corrected in Lightroom or Photoshop. And many lenses even have that correction built in and all you have to do is check a box.

Sharpness

You might not think of sharpness as an optical flaw, but no lens is perfectly sharp. And the quest to make a perfectly sharp lens involves engineering those optical flaws to a minimum.

A "sharp lens" is one with incredible fidelity. Even zoomed in beyond 100%, sharp lenses will show great detail. If you can't get close to the subject and need to crop your photo later, having a sharp lens can make up for the loss in resolution—as you can upscale without much loss in quality. If you plan to make large high quality prints, a sharp lens will help more than tons of megapixels.

That said, if you truly want to get the most out of a high megapixel camera, a sharp lens comes in handy here too. A smartphone may boast in the marketing as having 200 megapixels, but it has a tiny plastic lens. So even though it technically has 200 megapixels on the sensor, the lens will give it the equivalent of maybe 8-10 megapixels worth of detail. People forget, the lens has a resolution as well, and if the lens cannot resolve 200 megapixels, you aren't going to get a 200 megapixel image.

A sharp lens will allow for more detail than higher megapixels. In some cases you need to double or triple the number of pixels to see an increase in detail. Whereas you can put a super sharp lens on a 12 megapixel camera and blow any smartphone out of the water.

And if you put a sharp lens on a 50 megapixel camera, you can almost see into skin pores.

So... sharp = more detail. And more detail gives you greater cropping power for when you can't get close to babies.

Now, I am obligated to say that some photo nerds chase sharpness as if it is some holy grail. They need the sharpest lens so all of their pixels are perfect at 100% zoom even though no one ever looks at an image that close. There are amazing photos that have been blurry. There are amazing photos taken with 50 year old vintage glass. Sharpness is just another tool. If you need to crop. If you need to upscale. If you need to print large... it is a great help. But nearly every lens made for a modern mirrorless camera is "sharp" to some degree.

So, if you need extra sharpness for certain situations, do your research and find a lens that is sharp as can be. But sharpness should be like 8th on the list of priorities.

Soft Lens

A "soft" lens is how a non-sharp lens is referred to. Most modern optics for mirrorless cameras have some degree of sharposity.

Sharpitude.

Sharp...ness.

So you don't need to worry too much about getting a detrimentally soft lens unless you go super duper budget. This is why I usually recommend people skip the "kit lens" unless they absolutely can't afford anything better.

Though sometimes people purposely get vintage lenses because they don't like sharpness and prefer the "character" of older lenses. The imperfections can achieve a different artistic goal. Though this can also be achieved through lens filters... or Vaseline.

I'm looking at you, Barbara Walters.

Sharpness at the Corners

When I read that in my head just now I said it the same way I do "Panic! at the Disco."

Engineers will prioritize sharpness at the center of the lens since that is where most of the interesting stuff tends to be. But also, the light rays at the center tend to be the most parallel as they head to the sensor, so they don't need as much correction. The rays coming from the sides have to be bent and manipulated to correct for distortion, so keeping things sharp at the corners can be a challenge.

Now, knowing that, and knowing how the aperture works, you can infer that when you stop down your lens and make the hole smaller, all of the light rays are constricted to a smaller area. This makes them easier for your lens to deal with, so if a lens has problems with corner sharpness, you can usually stop down to improve this. So if a lens is soft at the corners at f/1.8, you might be able to go to f/2 or f/4 to get better results.

Vignetting

Vignetting is a circular area of darkness at the perimeter of your photo. This is another side effect caused by the same things as soft corners. When correcting those non-parallel light rays, it causes them to travel an ever so slightly farther distance getting to your sensor. And the inverse square law tells us that light becomes dimmer as it travels longer distances.

This is very easy to correct. Usually your camera has a setting to correct vignetting if you are outputting JPEG files. And if you are shooting RAW photos, your editing software should have a check box to fix the vignetting—usually the same one that fixes chromatic aberration. This is usually called "lens correction" in most menus.

Also, same as with corner sharpness, stopping down your lens will usually fix this optically rather than with software algorithms.

Contrast

Contrast is probably the most important attribute to determine lens quality. Good contrast can make a soft lens look good. But lens contrast is not always consistent. It can get better or worse depending on the lighting in your scene.

The best way to test the contrast of a lens is to take a picture of something that is backlit. A person with the sun behind them is a great indicator. If they have no light on them, the person should fall into inky darkness. But if a lens has poor contrast, they will seem like a faded gray.

Focus Breathing

Focus breathing is a phenomenon where your focal length changes depending on how far away your subject is. It's usually not a big deal and most people don't even notice it, but if you ever do video, it can cause a few headaches. Some people can get annoyed because they feel they aren't getting the advertised focal length on the lens they bought. Like, if you get a 300mm lens and it only goes to 250mm for things super far away, that can be annoying.

This video explains it in detail.

youtube

Lens Types

Prime Lens

A "prime lens" has a fixed focal length and cannot be zoomed. Typically prime lenses are "faster" (wider max aperture) and sharper. Weirdly they can be very inexpensive or the most expensive. They can be extremely lightweight or weigh a ton. And if you want the sharpest lens possible or the fastest lens possible or both, it will be expensive and heavy.

Having at least one fast prime is usually recommended for any professional photographer.

Zoom Lens

A "zoom lens" allows you to zoom. Obviously. But there are few that go below an aperture of f/2.8, so less light gathering and you sacrifice a bit of sharpness. However, if you don't know how much space you will have to work with, the flexibility of a zoom can be invaluable.

Be warned, while a cheap prime lens can still take fairly good photos, cheap zooms are usually pretty terrible. There are plenty of reasonably priced zoom lenses to choose from, but if the price seems too good to be true, I would trust that intinct.

Wide Angle Lens

A "wide angle lens" is any focal length below 35mm. Wider focal lengths allow you to get more stuff in the photo at shorter distances. A theme you might notice with photography is that every benefit has a compromise or consequence to go with it. Wide angle lenses are wonderful if you are in a cramped space. They also make it easy to keep everything in focus. But as you go wider, distances become exaggerated and barrel distortion becomes more pronounced and harder to correct.

Things that are close to the lens seem huge and things farther away seem tiny. One trick to remember is things in the center of the frame will be less affected by distortion. Something to take into account when taking those smartphone selfies.

If you look, the ball looks huge in frame because it was only a few inches from the lens. Otis was literally smaller in frame than the ball despite only being about 2 feet away. However, he doesn't look all stretchy like the ball because he is centered.

Standard Lens

A "standard" or "normal lens" represents about the same field of view as the human eye. Generally around 40mm to 55mm on a full frame camera (there is some debate on this, but close enough). This is right about where you can take pictures of faces without the unflattering side effects of wide angle.

Telephoto Lens

A "telephoto lens" allows you to stand farther away and still fill the frame with your subject. Usually lenses 200mm and above are considered telephoto. These are often heavy and expensive.

Specialty Lenses

Ultrawide

This is just an extremely wide angle lens. At this point, you just except the massive amounts of distortion and embrace it. These lenses are extremely fun.

Medium Telephoto

These are sometimes called "portrait" lenses as well. They are a little more tele than standard and not quite tele enough for long distance photography. Usually in the 70-200mm range. This is the focal range that allows you to still be close to your subject but you are far enough away to get extra flattering lens compression on faces.

Superzoom Lens

A "superzoom" has an extremely large focal range. It can go from very wide to very telephoto. These are usually not wonderful lenses, although they have improved on mirrorless cameras in recent years. There are a few that could even be used professionally now. But most are just a huge mediocre compromise for vacation pix.

The cheap ones aren't fast, they aren't sharp, and every time you zoom people think your camera is having an erection.

If you are traveling and you have no idea what you might be photographing and carrying around a bunch of lenses is impractical, these have utility. But the larger the focal range, the more mediocre they get. Typically if the zoom range exceeds ~150mm you will start noticing that mediocrity. So a 70-200mm can be fantastic. But an 18-300mm will be very mid.

Macro

A macro lens is any lens that has 1x or more magnification. 1x magnification is a designation that relates the sensor size to how much of the subject fills the frame of your image. For 1x, that ratio should be 1:1.

So if you imagine a quarter lying on top of an image sensor, that's how big the quarter should be in your photo. 2x magnification would be like if a quarter doubled in size and you laid it on top of the image sensor. And so on.

Beware of lenses claiming to be macro and really only having a short working distance. 0.5x is not macro, but is sometimes advertised as so.

Tilt Shift Lens

This is a very niche lens. Most people know of it from the photos that make everyone look like they are in a miniature land.

For every other lens, the focal plane is perpendicular. If you move the camera at an angle, the focal plane will match that movement. So what the tilt shift lens allows you to do is angle the focal plane so your depth of field goes in bonkers directions.

Product photographers love this because you can take a photo of an array of products from a 45 degree angle and keep everything in focus.

This image would be impossible to maintain complete focus of all the objects without a tilt shift lens.

In this example, without tilting the lens, the tip of the multitool is out of focus.

And now you can see the camera hasn't moved, but the lens is at a steeper angle. And you'll also notice the entire tool is in focus.

But wait, there's more! Did you forget about the shifting? Architectual photographers can use the shift function of the lens to correct perspective distortion and keep buildings looking straight.

Will this lens help in the photographing of infants?

Probably not.

But I bet you thought it was cool and are glad I included it.

Recommended Essential Lenses

I didn't know what to call this section. These are just the collection of lenses most photographers will try to acquire as they build out their kit.

Nifty Fifty

This is probably the first lens everyone should buy. Almost every brand has their own version. It is an inexpensive 50mm lens with a sub f/2 aperture. Canon's Nifty Fifty or "Plastic Fantastic" is probably the most famous example. It is only $125 and has an f/1.8 aperture.

This lens may not be the sharpest and it might have a lot of plastic-y, cheap feeling parts, but it is a wonderful way to get started with photography. You can use the wide aperture to experiment with bokeh and shallow depth of field. And the 50mm focal length is probably one of the most versatile. Not too wide, so people look normal, and not too tele, so you aren't a mile away from your subjects.

The Holy Trinity

The "Holy Trinity" is meant to describe the 3 lenses that can handle nearly every photographic task while maintaining professional quality results. Typically these lenses are all f/2.8 and are high quality zoom lenses. The 16-35mm, the 24-70mm, and the 70-200mm.

Most photographers can accomplish just about any task with these lenses in their bag.

Froggie's Holy Hexagon

That said, if I had an unlimited budget I would actually have 6 lenses to cover everything. Beyond the Holy Trinity, I would get a fast prime, an ultrawide, and a macro lens.

A fast prime can see in the dark and has more background blur. The nifty fifty would work great for this.

An ultrawide is one of the most fun lenses you will ever use, even if it distorts everything to a crazy degree and isn't useful very often. It is great for breaking you out of photographic ruts and can really get the creative juices flowing.

And a macro lens is not just useful for making tiny things big. It also allows you to focus at any distance. Sometimes you just need to get a tad bit closer than your other lenses will allow. Macro lenses are also pretty great portrait lenses and can serve multiple functions.

And if anyone is interested in sports or wildlife photos, a nice telephoto lens might be a seventh lens to consider.

I think that is the end of part 1.

I hope this was helpful. And I look forward to posting part 2 soon.

#photography #lenses

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is-the-snake-video-cute · 9 months

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Western Hognose Shopping List

Thanks to their big, fun personalities and small size, western hognose snakes (Heterodon nasicus) are becoming a more and more popular choice for a first pet snake. Though they're not as easy as some other good beginner-level snakes, hoggies are absolutely doable first snakes as long as you do lots of research and plan thoroughly! These adorable little snakes average around 2 feet long for females and just over 1 foot long for males, and can live to be up to 20 years old with proper care.

Before buying your hognose snake, it is extremely important to make sure you find a snake who is well-established and eating consistently on frozen/thawed, unscented mice. Don't overlook this - hoggies can be difficult to get eating on your own!

An important note of caution: hognoses are venomous snakes. Their venom is not medically significant to humans and usually results in no more than mild swelling and itching, but this is something to be very aware of! Hognose snakes almost never bite in self-defense, but mistaken feeding bites can happen so it's important to be aware and prepared.

Enclosure setup shopping list:

It's essential to make sure your hognose snake has plenty deep substrate to dig in! You will need to set up a temperature gradient of 88-78 Fahrenheit. Hoggies are not picky about humidity, and as long as you always make sure they have access to fresh, clean water, humidity shouldn't be a concern for you.

Enclosure. Adult hognose snakes can thrive in a 40 gallon enclosure. You can get away with a 20 gallon for males since they are considerably smaller, but bigger is better! For a baby snake, you and your snake will likely have an easier time if you get them set up in a 10 gallon enclosure until they put on some size.

If your enclosure has a screen lid, don't forget the screen clips. Never bring a snake home without screen clips!

A dome heat lamp with ceramic sockets. Any big reptile brand is fine - Fluker's, Zoo Med, and Exo Terra are all trustworthy brands here. Make sure your dome lamp is rated for the wattage of bulb you will be using - 150 is usually a safe bet.

Heat bulbs. I use ceramic heat emitters for most of my hognose snakes, but some respond very well to halogen lighting and UVB. The choice of providing visible heat and UVB is yours; the only snakes I would avoid it with are snakes with melanin-reducing morphs (like albinos and toffees) because it can damage their more sensitive eyes. Arcadia makes high-quality heat sources your pet will love. The wattage you choose will depend on your enclosure size and the temperature in your home.

A thermostat to plug your heat source into. Vivarium Electronics thermostats are excellent but pricey; you can go as expensive as you like but here is a cheap one I swear by. Never use a heat source without a thermostat!

Digital thermometer/hygrometer reader with probes - Zoo Med and Exo Terra make great dual gauges. Avoid stick-on dials!

At least two identical hides, one on either side. A proper hide has three solid walls and a smallish entrance - you want your snake to feel snug and secure. Baby hognoses especially will do best with lots of extra hides.

A container to make a humidity hide. Simply cut a hole in the lid, fill with damp moss, and you're set! Providing your snake with a humid hide will help them have perfect sheds every time!

A large water bowl

(Insider tip: if you go to the grocery store and buy a pack of black plastic food storage containers, you can easily make hides, humidity hides, and a water bowl out of them! Here's my go-to option, you can easily take care of all that for one baby snake for like 5 dollars! Baby hognoses are extra tiny, so if you're buying a young baby, sugar caddies make perfect, cheap hides.)

Sphagnum moss for your humid hide

Substrate - for hognoses, I prefer aspen fiber because it holds hides well and isn't terribly dusty. Playsand/topsoil mixtures also work well. Whatever you choose, be sure to provide your snake with at least a few inches to burrow in!

Lots of clutter. Paper towel tubes are great, fun enrichment, and empty cardboard boxes are hits with lots of hoggies. They aren't big climbers, but giving them a few branches never hurts! It's very important to keep your enclosure cluttered so your snake feels safe. Crumpled balls of paper towel make for great extra clutter for small snakes.

Consider a blanket or other visual barrier to put over the enclosure to help your snake feel safe and hidden. Hognoses can be very sensitive and often benefit from a little extra privacy.

General care:

Feeding tongs.

Food for your snake. Baby hognoses can usually handle whole pinky mice. Your offered food should be about 10-15% of your snake's body weight.

A soldering iron, believe it or not! A cheap soldering iron will serve you well throughout your snake's life - you can use it to easily melt holes in bowls and containers to make hides.

And some common beginner mistakes:

Don't move your snake to a separate enclosure to feed. It's a myth that will make your snake "aggressive" - it can actually cause more mistaken feeding bites as they associate handling with being fed!

Don't worry if your snake spends most of their time hiding, especially while young. A hiding snake is a happy snake! It's very normal for hognose snakes to spend a lot of their time in their burrows.

Don't over-handle your snake, and always give them at least a week to settle in before offering food for the first time.

Never handle your snake for two days after they've eaten - that could cause a regurgitation.

Avoid heat mats as a heat source for hognose snakes. Because they need such thick substrate, the heat mat can cause dangerous hot pockets within the substrate.

And be prepared to be flexible! Hognose snakes are such wonderful, fun pets, but they certainly have a bit of a dramatic streak. Expect some hissing, puffy cheeks, and a few theatrics! These are snakes with opinions about how you should care for them, so listen to what they're telling you.

I don't know what life would be like without my pet hognose snakes! They're fun, engaging pets who will make you laugh every day, and if you do your research to get them set up properly, you're well on your way to many awesome years together.

#not a rating #hognose snakes #snake shopping lists

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haintxblue · 7 months

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help me help my cat

EDIT: THIS HAS BEEN FUNDED! THANK YOU SO MUCH.

As you may know I had an expensive unforeseen doctor visit recently involving travel to see a doctor out-of-state that I took a great deal of commissions to cover, meaning that I'm now fully booked up to the end of October. This was the latest in an ongoing series of financial emergencies as I enter my second year of trying and failing to find a full-time job that will pay a living wage, including an unforeseen cross-state move, multiple medical emergencies in myself, my mom, and my cat, and car maintenance issues including me being involved in a minor hit-and-run. I have been doing my best to stay afloat with commissions but am booked to the gills.

If I was now experiencing any emergency that affected only myself I would not be here begging and humbling myself yet again, but this one pertains to my cat. Some of you may know that I have a sixteen year old cat with cancer, who has repeatedly faked me out thinking she was on deaths doorstep. Several months ago I was convinced she was going to need euthanasia, only for a new course of treatment to suddenly right the ship once more in what I can only describe as a minor miracle. Unfortunately she has complicated the situation again, and it appears to be time for me to make a difficult decision.

While she is technically in hospice care, she has an ear infection, and I have a choice before me: I feel I must try to treat this and see if she bounces back, because her only notable bad symptoms are pain and a sudden loss of balance and our initial "wait it out and treat the symptoms" approach that her vet suggested given her precarious situation did not yield the results we'd hoped. She needs actual treatment of the ear infection, but there's also a chance that even with it, this is the end of the line for her, as the balance issues may be neurological instead.

The cost to have her seen by a vet will be substantial, as she must receive home visits. She has to be sedated at the vets office otherwise and her frail health precludes her from being sedated at the moment. I am looking at probably around 300 dollars for an in-house visit to reassess her ears and have them re-treated.

If the ear infection treatment does not restore her balance, then we will be looking at an at-home euthanasia cost of almost 600.00 for the cheapest, no-memorial option. I am very prepared for the idea that I will need to cover both of these expenses within the week, and this is my current bank balance:

Yes, that's the negatives.

My mother has also had several emergencies and cannot help.

I have exhausted all my savings after this year of unexpected expenses and cannot in good conscience take more commissions. I already owe backlog of one commission type (chibi sketches) from months ago during the last crisis which I'm slowly working through and have regular commissions completely full. I have no esks or stygians left to sell except for founder and socket, which I am considering.

I will be selling a special semi-gacha but otherwise I have no recourse available to me but to humbly, once again, ask for donations.

I have nothing to offer in exchange this time but my gratitude for your patience and generosity.

If you'd like to help me with the cost of caring for my cat, my PayP.l for personal donations is [email protected] and my V.nmo is $rejamrejam

I am sorry I keep asking. I wouldn't if it was for me, but it's not for me, it's for my cat.

#ebegging #i am so sorry #i wont after this #i have a rotten tooth and another car emergency but i dont care #its just for the cat

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fizziepopangel · 3 months

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“Hey, whatever means I can keep crashin’ here rent free… crack is expensive.”

Angel Dust's pet pig is so important to him because he manifested Fat Nuggets into existence by accident and he's afraid he won't be able to do it again if something were to happen to him & the comforting little pig companion is almost the spitting image of his favorite childhood stuffed animal.

Despite his line of work, Angel is actually demisexual and hasn't been genuinely attracted to someone sexually in a long, long time.

His love language is touch and words of affirmation but both of those things are hard for the demon to accept and believe are genuine because of the abuse he’s suffered in his line of work.

Angel absolutely hates spiders. He threw an absolute fit when he realized what his demon form was in hell, and had a slight breakdown when he realized he would only look more arachnid-like as he learned to change into his most powerful demon form.

When he was alive, Angel hated being a part of his family’s mob dealings and did his best to stay out of it all. Being forced to participate was what prompted him to start using drugs as a teenager.

Unbeknownst to everyone but Husk, Angel has tried to unalive himself multiple times in hell. He was pissed when he kept respawning.

Husk became the person Angel trusts most to keep him company when he's feeling down. The cat demon isn't sure why since he doesn't find his own presence very comforting, but he often finds himself listening to the pink spider demon vent at the bar or sitting in his room letting Angel dress him like a doll so he'll feel less down. Angel sometimes pretends to be sad so Husk will let him dress him up.

While Angel was an addict when he was alive and did die of an overdose, his overdose was due to the drugs he purposely bought being laced with fentanyl, causing the high dose he usually did to achieve his desired high to become deadly.

Upon his arrival in hell, his family did attempt to take him in, assuming he would be more of a willing participant in their lifestyle. He was not.

Despite his overly cocky and his overly sexual demeanor, Angel actually prefers physical intimacy that isn’t necessarily sexual at all like cuddling or cooking with someone he cares for, even in a platonic sense.

Angel’s favorite item of clothing is a pig onesie that he got as a birthday gift from Alastor. He hadn’t expected much from the radio demon, so the snuggly onsies was a pleasant surprise and he often wears it at the hotel to decompress and relax.

Fat Nuggets has a little set of spider themed pajamas that were gifted to him by Charlie and Angel absolutely loves having his little piggy pal wear them.

Charlie, Vaggie, and Husk are the only ones Angel trusts enough to have check in on Fat nuggets when he’s at work. He has candid photos of all of them doing cute things with the little demon pig hanging on the wall above his bed.

If given the option between coffee and tea, Angel will choose tea, but he only drinks chamomile-vanilla tea with extra sugar.

Because of his drug use, Angel developed an eating disorder. While he’s in recovery and eats relatively well now, Angel has gotten into the habit of checking in with his friends to make sure that they’ve all eaten as well, even going as far as to make small meals to bring to them to ensure that they eat enough.

Angel started taking a regimen of anti-depressants and attending therapy soon after he began staying at the Hazbin Hotel. Charlie is the only one who knows about it and she often reminds him to take his medication and encourages him to continue therapy.

#fizziepop thoughts #vivziepop #hazbin headcanons #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #husk hazbin hotel #fat nuggets

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isaac031 · 5 months

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Glad you enjoy , bird behavior is a Special Interest ( wanted to be a zoo keeper , got the degree but alas minimum wage doesn’t mesh with my medical expenses 😫) MORE CROW Stuff for you!

Crows like all birds are prone to parasites and pests that destroy feathers. But crows be smart! They have learned to use multiple methods of extermination ! Sit on an ant hill to piss off the ants that spray chemicals to drive off parasites, Use the smoke from fire to fumigate them out. Philza probably using the gas storms for free pest removal.

The watching thing he does might get amped up, most birds hanging out in pairs has one watching while the other eats or cleans themselves, especially when feeling unsafe. Man probably waits until someone else is up and ready before he starts preparing for the day, same with eating, pausing while someone else is putting food in. Paranoia is bad . Also feather destroying behavior if stress is super bad.

Number 1. fuck no having the dream job because of minimum wage. I'm probably fucked too because I'm studying art, the best option is doing ceramics in Manises and move to Portugal (Spain is starting to get fucked).

Number 2. Others: oh no, another disaster!

Bolas: yes! Our gasmask cult is the best

Philza: bye bug bitches

Number 3. Man is paranoid af. Right now I'm making fluff so his guard is down but I'm raising it like crazy afterwards

#qsmp philza #death duo #phissa #qsmp missa #pissa #crows #crow behavior #phil #philza minecraft #philza #crow beast philza

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starsomens · 7 months

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IMAGINE IMAGINE

a home birth with Noah 🥹like instead of doing the hospital you both agree that doing it at home would be better, more peaceful and just overall a better birth experience for you.

Noah like we’ve said is super observant and knows that the hospital isn’t the best when it comes to listen to how women want to give birth aside from in their backs (this isn’t prove by facts I’m sure many hospitals do listen to women just go with it)

And yes I am convinced Noah researched different methods and positions for birth and what would make it safer and easier for you. And what’s more safe than at home with him? He will invest into EVERYTHING. A pool, the best most experienced doula/mid wife, supplies, an extra bed in case

EVERYTHING

I feel like he’s also the type to be the first to spot things before you. Like when you have a contraction and think “oh it’s just a cramp, or they’re just stretching”

“Yea the cramp, lasted about 3 minutes. You’re in labor mama” and he’d come and pet your belly like a dad does to the dog

Ans he was right🧍🏽‍♀️ you’re in early labor. He’s got the doula on hold and let her know you started early but still too early for her to come. I think he’s the type to document it because it’s such an intimate experience. Not graphically but like candid shots definitely

At first you were both joking about it and watching your stomach stretch and timing it and going “that was different that time” they were too bad at the start. But after a couple of hours he noticed it was starting to get to the part no one rlly liked. The one where pain was too much to ignore, when you had to really focus on it cuz it was intense. The part where he had to be your rock and hold you and support you.

Between contractions he tried to get you to sleep to have some kind of rest even though you weren’t really getting any.

So now it’s his role to step up and be your support physically, emotionally and mentally. He knows birth can take a toll on women in more ways then one and who was he not to support and be there for you???

On top of that no medication, you both went into this knowing you wouldn't have the option for epidural.

“Squeeze my hand baby you got this”

“Where do you need me?”

“You want me to just hold you?”

“Breathe in…and out baby. Good just like that”

“You’re almost dome princess. Almost there”

You both agreed on a water delivery so he had gotten you the best most expensive pool possible. By the time the doula got there you had been in active labor for about 4’hours now. She did be usual check up for heart rate and dilation, you were only at 3 cm at that moment do you had some ways to go.

He’d would walk around the house with you, hand your hands while you used the yoga ball or tried to distract you with some singing, which at one point worked very well. After some strong waves he’d wipe you tears away and give you some water

“I know princess, but you did so good. So strong” he knew his words could have only so much effect on the situation but he was doing everything he was able to do for you. He helps get you in the pool and used a small towel to wash warm water down your back.

“We’re super close babe…what do you think it’s gonna be?” You wanted the sex to be a surprise and you were back and forth with old wives tales

“Mm, I’m still thinking it’s a boy” you said letting your head rest on the edge of the inflatable pool

“Really a Boy? I thought you would have wanted another copy of yourself” he smiles

“A copy of you would be so cute though” you try and smile

“But a copy of you would be perfect. Either way, I’m just so happy they’re finally coming”

Then it’s time for the hardest part 🙃

"Ready baby...push..you got it 1..2..3..4.."

"That was a good push baby, good job"

"I gotchu, I'm right here baby. Good, good..you're doing so good"

Doesn't care about the screaming and if anything he encourages you to while you push. Is very surprised and kinds scared at the grip you had on his hand, but that was the least of his worries.

Entire labor took about 8 hours and ended by the night with about 5 pushes and now you had a beautiful baby boy. lots of crying, Noah cant stop kissing and thanking you. He's just watching you be a mom and he can't look away and he can't wipe the smile off his face.

"He's so perfect princess, he's got your nose"

While he was being weighed and measured Noah helped you get out of the tub and into the shower. He helped get you cleaned up and dressed. After your son was cleaned and swaddled he was brought to you both for some skin to skin and feeding.

It was so intimate, you weren't rushed and didn't have doctors interrupting every hour or so

"You did so good princess...he's perfect "

"Well you were here too, and you did great supporting me. Thank you" you look up at him

"I am at your beck and call, but really you did all the hard work. I'm so proud of you"

#bad omens #noah sebastian #noah sebastian x reader #bad omens fanfiction #noahsebastian #I just wanted some more dad noah #star's blurbs

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f1ghtsoftly · 10 months

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I actually think it’s strategically stupid to ask women to forgo male protection and male financing without any kind of organized feminism to catch them. Feminists passionate about separatism need to educate themselves on the barriers women face when exiting misogynistic communities and family structures.

And no, just because you made it out doesn’t mean others can. There are scores of women behind you who didn’t make it. Who went insane from abuse, who developed addictions to cope, who are financially trapped, who experienced worse misogyny in the labor market then in a het relationship. Stop villanizing women acting in their own self interest and start organizing to give women BETTER OPTIONS.

I shouldn’t have had to choose between cosigning conversion therapy or staying in a misogynistic industry, my best friend shouldn’t have had to choose between homelessness and a dad who raped her, my first lover shouldn’t have to choose between a life of financial precarity and the sex industry and I cannot overemphasize that we were all rich lucky white women from the states. What’s it like for women of color? Women from states with worse education systems? Disabled women? What kind of rock are you living under where women aren’t doing the best they can to be financially secure and as free as possible *especially* in a cost of living crisis. And again, please don’t come at me with the “those criticisms are only white women with no problems who just CHOOSE” the women I am talking about are from wealthy white suburban families with boats and big retirement accounts we *are* the women you’re talking about. Just look at what happened to Brittney Spears and Rose McGowan, even “luckier” women who had huge parts of their lives destroyed because they took a stand for their own freedom. Were they just not “tough enough”? Get it through your fucking heads, no woman has an easy time of it, no women just “chooses” to comply with patriarchy for fun. We have three options, be kept precarious and in constant fear of male violence in the labor market, to participate in the running of the very system that oppresses us by allying with men or quit and try to become male ourselves. No women makes a “wrong” choice because all of these options are fucking terrible.

Women en masse aren’t unfree because they get stupid facial fillers or have boyfriends, women getting stupid facial fillers and having boyfriends is a symptom of how unfree women are and many women correctly see how allying with the right men can deliver them from poverty or financial insecurity.

Even middle class women with access to jobs that can pay the bills typically need to cosign a level of institutional patriarchy in order to do so, they become “administrators” to capitalism and are rewarded at the expense of their integrity. Think about all the teachers in the south who are forced to go along with anti-LGBTQ mandates, think about therapists who have to “diagnose” traumatized women with diseases that will stay in the medical records in order to get their insurance to cover therapy, think about the kind of misogynistic abuse women in tech or science take. GET.A. GRIP. IT SUCKS FOR EVERYONE.

And honestly, and I truly mean this, if you genuinely believe you are somehow better or stronger then most women who don’t “get it” I really question your commitment to women and to the project of feminism. It *is* delusional behavior to think that you aren’t one sexual assault, one lost job, one string of unlucky experiences away from trying to stockholm syndrome yourself into accepting male domination in a “relationship” or in the workplace. Without having to decide between sexual assault in a shelter or crashing with a “bf” who rapes you.

Without developing structures that can support women’s autonomy *we’re all* vulnerable to male predation and acting like it’s easy or even possible for women to shake that off not only shows an astounding lack of compasison but a naive and childish belief that your spirit is somehow above breaking. It’s not.

Like seriously please take it from me there is a limit to how much material, spiritual and physical abuse someone can take and so so so many more women then you think are dealing with horrible scary shit from the men in their lives and you can’t always tell what’s happening from behind a screen (or even in person). Even women who really, really annoy me or who are abusive themselves are reacting to male abuse in their own lives so please stop making the barrier to feminism contingent on doing the very things patriarchy makes it hardest to do.

PLEASE focus instead on making it easier for women to live away from men, on removing the ties between women’s financial security and their relationship to the men in their lives, on making women safer in public, on supporting mothers financially and with women’s labor.

It’s not reformism, it’s not choice feminism it’s accepting the reality of where we’re at and choosing to build women only infrastructure that will carry us to a post patriarchal future. That’s what doing the work is. It’s acknowledging where we are realistically as a society and committing to getting us where we need to go.

#radblr #radical feminism #radical feminist #radical feminist theory #radical feminists do touch #radfem safe #radfems #gender critical #radfem #char on char #like i went in the closst after getting hatecrimed and my friends getting correctively raped #even my rich friends have had horrible things happen to them because of their sexuality #IN NEW YORK #IN AMERICA #WE ALL HAVE COLLEGE DEGREES #Most of us more then that

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sensei-venus · 10 months

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(Unedited)(Cobra Kai a/b/o, Alpha!Hawk, Omega!Reader, Smut, Mention of weird version of wall fucking but not really?, Anon Sex?, Pregnancy, Talk of Breeding, Donation Clinic/Sperm Bank but a/b/o style, Hawk is a broke karate sensei but not Johnny level broke💀) (I'll make a Banner/Header for this bitch at some point) ( @gemini-sensei )

(Part two | Part three tba)

Had this idea about Alpha! Hawk being hard for cash. He recently moved and had a lot of out-of-savings expenses and it was overall just a lot to deal with. He has money from his work at the dojo with Daniel and Johnny but its just not cutting it. He won't be back to his original savings goal for another few months with the way things are going.

One day he is out with some of his alpha friends hanging out. Demetri, Miguel, Tory, and Robby. It's just a little get-together because they have all noticed the way he has been acting, all moody and upset. It's just a bit more than they are used to with him and his moods. They are all sitting around talking when one of them finally just tells him to fess up and tell them what's going on. He gets all pissy but admits that he's borderline broke.

He's hard for cash and things aren't going his way. Everyone is kinda quiet because they get it, Robby and Tory definitely do.

In a last-ditch effort to clear the air and lighten the mood Tory makes a half-ass statement.

“Well if it's that bad why not try one of those donation matting clinics? I heard they pay pretty well for “donations” I heard that if you go to one of the fancy ones, they actually let you fuck the omega recipient ~”

It's a stupid comment but it gets the wheels going in his head.

That would be perfect!

Those places pay out the as for a donation, and in most cases he wouldn't even have to give away his identity.

In the back of his mind he is upset that he won't ever get to meet the possible pup or pups he may help sire. But times are hard and he desperately needs the money. This might be one of his only options to get his bank account right.

That following week he ends up going down the path of donation centers. At first, he's extremely nervous. Mostly with his health background screening because even though he has nothing to his knowledge bad in his medical history, he still has the past with his lip. He fears that that will automatically get him thrown from possible donations.

He's actually surprised when a few days later he gets a call back that he's been accepted and that they already have an omega looking for an alpha donor and picked him, or well his genetic profile out of a huge book of donors. They scheduled him to come to a new facility, a big one at that.

A few days later he shows up and they explain the steps that they will be following during the scheduled event. They make him sign paperwork and so on before anything starts.

They sit him down and explain how things will work.

The omega in question has requested an interactive donation. Wanting a simi-full impregnation environment and feel. The omega will be put on a table that is embedded in a wall, one part of her body is stuck out to his side and the other on the other side. They won't ever have to see each other so it's still anonymous. They have injected the omega with the right hormones to make sure she has the best chance of being impregnated from the donation. He will simply perform the act and then leave, a few weeks later they will test the omega and see if she is pregnant. If so they will call him to come in and pick up his payment and work out the final details.

To Hawk this sounds perfect.

They get him all ready and send him into the completely empty room. The door closes behind him and he feels himself start to get nervous. That is until a plump little lower body slides through the hole in the wall. His eyes are big and his dick is already starting to get hard just from staring. He walks over to get a better look at the omega, or at least a better look at the omega's lower half.

She's soft and thick, nice legs and fat things with a cute little chubby belly that quivers as she Heath's on the other side of the wall. He notices the way she jerks a little every now and then, waiting for something, anything to happen now. He can't help but let his nerves melt a little bit at the sight.

She was probably just as nervous as he was. But in her case she actually really wanted this, she paid to get his donation so she could have a pup. He slowly ran his hand up her leg and over her thighs, his fingers helping to pry her legs apart. Smirking he looked down at her.

Cute fat pussy was leaking and making a mess of the sanitized white table below her. Her hole drooled onto the table top and made a small puddle. Her folds were sloppy and warm covered in her own juices. Even her clit twitched in excitement.

Clearly what every they gave her was making her insides go into hyperdrive.

For a split second he wondered if she could hear him. If the doctors and made it a goal to soundproof the wall or something.

“Hey, it's ok to calm down, just relax and let me make you feel good. I'll do my best to get you what you want, all-round and full with a pup you clearly want. Don't freak yourself out. It's new to both of us.” his mental question was answered when the omega relaxed under his touch and went limp. Taking a deep breath he realised that he could also smell her. She wasn't in heat but that didn't stop him from being able to smell her natural sweet scent. It wafted in from the decently sized gaps between her body and the wall. Clearly put there so that she didn't get stuck or get rubbed too much during the thing act.

It really doesn't take too long for things to start getting heavy between the two.

It's only minutes before he's completely hard and he's done prepping her with his fingers. He would have happily eaten her out but the doctors advised him against it do the saliva factor and sperm.

His dick is hard and weeping once he pulls it out. He marvels at how quickly he was able to get hard after being so nervous but with the smell of the omega and her cute little body, he understands how. Her cunt is prepped and stretched nicely, he takes a moment to suck his fingers clean which has his eyes tooling for a moment. Quickly he goes back to it and spreads her legs. The table is short and at an angle that lets him slide her down just a little bit to allow him to get her in a clear position. It's almost on instinct that her legs spread and wrap around him. He grins a little as his cock rubs into her wet folds in a warm hug. He lubes himself up and slowly enters her.

She's tight and warm around him and it makes his head spin. His belly tights as he presses into her and the sounds she's making on the other side are a bit muffled but only spur him on. Her heels dig into his back once she finally bottoms out. His hips meet her fat mound and her thighs clench around him.

Before long he's fucking into her fast and strong.

It's wet and messy as their cum mixes together with every new thrust. His dick is covered in a thick layer of their cream every time he picks out. Wrapped around him like a vice trying to milk him dry. Grunts and groans fill the air along with high-pitched chirps. His hips drive into hers with wet smacks that fill his ears. His brain is fuzzy as time ticks on and he gets closer and closer.

He never wants this feeling to stop.

But he can feel the way she's clenching and shivering and he knows she's close but so is he.

He also feels the way she tenses in another way, not out of pleasure like he is but out of some other feeling. Something deep down is causing her to hold back.

“Fuck-fuck hold my hand! Just hold my hand omega- let me put this pup in you. Make you a pretty little chubby mama!” his hand grips her fluffy belly, pinching at her rolls. Soon enough they would be gone and replaced by a bump.

At least that's what he was hoping for.

Get her nice and round with a pup.

Suddenly a hand reaches from the hope shaking but reaching out and looking for his. He's quick to hold it, their fingers lacing as she holds into him. Her fingers shake as she tenses up one more time. He can hear her sharp squeal and her pussy clench one more time around him. Her hand shakes and squeezes his own.

Her cumming sends him over the edge as well as he thrusts one more time and his inflated knot pops in and locks them together. Every second a new batch of cum fills her up. Rope after rope pouting out into her womb. His fat knot keeping it all in.

The sound of their heavy breathing echoes through both rooms.

It's less than an hour later when his knot finally deflates and he has to pull out.

It's only seconds later when her hand is forcibly removed from his and she is being pulled from the hole from the other side. All he hears is her small overstimulated whimper as she is rolled out on another table. He wants to climb through that stupid hole and go after her, but he knows he can't.

He's left with his dick out soft and covered in their cream.

After that day he spends hours thinking about what happened. He knows it's stupid.

He had sex with a omega to donate his sperm anonymously.

He wasn't supposed to get attached.

It was just random sex, a one-time thing right? Nothing more nothing less? He didn't even see her face, didn't even know her?

He spends the next few weeks over thinking about what happened. It plays in his head over and over again. He thinks about her hands on his and the way she whimpered under him. The way she gripped at him and clung to him. The way she smelled and how soft and sweet her scent was. It tickled his nose just right.

Those feelings and thoughts don't change for weeks.

That is until one day after his last class of the day at the dojo when he gets a phone call.

It was the clinic.

Telling him to come by and pick up his payment.

He doesn't know what gets into him but he drops everything he's doing after work to get in his car and drive to the clinic. His fingers best on the steering wheel the whole way there.

When he gets there he is ushered back to a small office with the original doctor from before. The woman smiles at him the whole time and gives him a few forms, most of which just talk about his payment and payment method. He signs them but as he finished up he can't help but stay seated.

“So it took? The omega...”

“Yes of course Mr, Moskowitz. You wouldn't be receiving payment if it didn't. We would have called you and told you it didn't so that you knew not to expect the final payment.”

He chews his lip a little.

“Is it- are they healthy?”

The doctor blinks at him, a brow raised.

“You know I can't release that kind of information-”

“Please I- I just want to know that both of them are healthy. Please just tell me that.”

The doctor sighs and pulls out a pack of paperwork from a folder on her desk. She looks it over, eyes scanning over the typed up papers. She sets it down and closes the it.

“All of them are completely fine, the pregnancy looks like it will be completely viable so far.”

For a moment Hawk thinks over the words that he just heard her say.

“What does that mean “all of them”??”

She flicks at the folder for a second before looking back up at him. Her eyes are a bit lazy as she leaves him with one last statement.

“Because the client wished for a natural insemination we didn't have any control over what would naturally happen in her womb, we couldn't exactly level the count of what could have happened during the process.”

It was silent for a moment.

“It's twins.”

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talesfromdvalin · 4 months

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WELT YANG AS YOUR THERAPIST

Please, be careful. Age difference, daddy issues. Translate or reblog is alright, but remember, that I may ask you to delete if I would not alright with your blog. Thank you. The place I will most of all.

How many clients does he have?

ㅤ Welt is popular in the private clinic as one of the best therapists that can be recommended. He has been in practice for over fifteen years, making him a one-stop pill for ailments, and all people who have come to see him at least once have stayed for several more appointments afterwards. The main problem was the price of the session. Not everyone could afford the expensive pleasure of brain therapy, but Welt , the damn empath, couldn't control the sincere sympathy inside him, and it turned out the same way every time: he made discounts or helped his clients outside of working hours, which greatly burdened the man and turned him into a walking dead man.

ㅤ He has a problem with sleep deprivation. It's a good thing that Welt learns to separate work and non-work time by drawing a clear and obvious line; it often takes him a long time to get into the "I'm not laboring" state.

ㅤ How quickly will you realize that this therapist is right for you?

ㅤ If your type is grown men who wear glasses and look extremely stern, empathic, and multi-faceted, then immediately. Perhaps simply because you won't have a particularly big choice - you'll find yourself in an emotionally tight space with a man who smells like vanilla and bitter coffee beans. Mr. Yang keeps eye contact at all times, sometimes oblivious to the fact that people might be uncomfortable with it, and there's a real understanding shining at the bottom of his glossy eyes. It's probably the reason people stay with him and sometimes even want to get an extracurricular contact, but Welt very rarely shares phone numbers. He wants to dedicate his life to people, but he can't leave himself out. Psychotherapists also have the right to get sick and prescribe medication for themselves, but it's not to say that Welt does it often - it's hard to figure out how to self-medicate. Plus, he's too tired, so he mostly takes sedatives or brain-activating substances when he's tired.

ㅤ Welt Yang is very good at hearing people's demands and distinguishing between urges. He prioritizes correctly, though he may pretend to follow a person's need to get rid of this or that sore first. In a sense, he enlightens illusions, making them believable by actually attending to more important things and prioritizing competently.

ㅤ Of course, like any therapist, your tolerance may not accrue to each other in tandem, and Mr. Yang may even come across as "stuffy" and "arrogant," in which case the most beneficial option for both of you is to simply walk away.

ㅤ Who will he become to you first - a friend or an object of affection?

At once a creature between the thin two edges. What is he to you? Unknown, but warm and close, surprising. Mr. Yang is the only man who shows care, and the emergence of tender feelings would not surprise him. This happens in practice quite often, and no matter how careful a man is, there are still unpleasant lapses in the course of which one has to balance his work and the health of a client or client in love.

ㅤ Welt is attentive and always beautiful. His delicate hands take notes, focusing on the voice of the person he's talking to - you - time after time. All the beautiful things he does while paying attention to you sink into your very heart. No one has ever treated you with such sensitivity and care, and it makes your heart flutter. Wrong feelings, the nastiest - you were well aware that they had no place, so you kept the fire of unfair attention craving burning in the walls of the office, in the chair you were sitting in. You tried to forget about them for a month, separating them from the next meeting, but it didn't work well. Though sometimes you could even forget that Mr. Yang was waiting for you.

ㅤ "You seem troubled," Welt's address was friendly as usual, "I can help.

ㅤ "You can," you reply wistfully, "but you can't.

ㅤ Yes, that's right. All it takes to quiet a frantically pounding heart is a hug from Mr. Yang, which is unacceptable given that it's a breach of etiquette and the discipline of keeping one's distance. Just one hug will heal your soul and put a nasty hope in your mouth that you'll get a hug again, and then again, and maybe you'll come to Mr. Yang to sleep in his arms, because that was the best medicine he had to offer.

ㅤ The words you spoke already faintly hinted to Welt that something already familiar and quite familiar was happening. Something that Welt wanted less than anything else in the world, and couldn't put it forward as a cure. So the man took a deep breath and admitted to himself: this was a curse that God himself had sent him.

ㅤ How will Welt really feel about you?

ㅤ There's no hiding that disdain and compassion. He'd like to work with happy people, but there's nothing better than watching people walk away from him with a sincere grateful smile. He doesn't count money, he doesn't think about keeping more people for a high income, never no. Seeing your crush means initially noticing the modesty, the avoidance of a direct look, the desire to hear more from himself than stories about himself. The mechanics of the process are perfectly familiar to Mr. Yang, and frankly, he doesn't understand at what point he's doing something wrong. Why do young girls feel almost physical excitement watching his hands, his gait? Maybe he should change his strict clothes for something more primitive and unattractive? But then it would look… tasteless.

ㅤ Welt feels a heaviness in his stomach every time he sees you, as if a heavy stone has been thrown to the bottom of his stomach, pressing him back against the chair. He tries to move less, but sighs more often, and a new feeling slides into his eyes that you haven't yet been able to recognize. Mr. Yang doesn't really feel reciprocated for you, and that would be foolish if it weren't true. Velt has met all sorts of different and unique people in his extensive career experience, and if he could "fall in love" with someone, he'd probably have had time to do so by now. You're still just a teenager in search of yourself, and apparently you have father figure issues since you're clinging to a working adult male.

ㅤ As Welt has said before, this is the bane of his position. He doesn't consider himself particularly handsome or old, though the years are slowly taking their toll, nor does he think about the distant future. He simply has nothing to talk to naive souls about. It's hard to say what qualities you must have to make Welt suddenly want to push the rules aside and be interested in you as an individual, not a patient. And yet if you allow this option, Welt is quite skillful at "extinguishing" the wrong feeling in you.

ㅤ What if it's… the right one? Who but a man to love a man? Mr. Yang will get lost in ideas and thoughts. He won't be able to trust the real him or the false reflection, and the only way out will be the most primitive continuation of the work. Throw the whole thing aside, put a lid on it and throw it down the garbage chute.

ㅤWhat's going on in his family relationships, if any?

ㅤ Welt doesn't have a woman he loves as much as he could, perhaps simply because he doesn't want to commit to a relationship so "recklessly". Things have to go slow and curious, turning interest into romance, and for Mr. Yang, that doesn't mean dating or showing attention at all. Romance is a much broader and more difficult concept; romance is steeped in facial expressions, in rich airs, in subtle touches, in withdrawal. All of this makes the possibility of a therapist-patient relationship closer to reality, because he doesn't need close and constricting contact as a catalyst for falling in love and touching. Welt prefers to touch consciousnesses.

ㅤ Canonical Welt has an adopted son. In the current circumstances, this may be a son he raised long ago and set free to sail, helping both financially and emotionally. Mr. Yang's treasures truly close people, and let's face it, he only has one such person - his son.

ㅤ He has lived a long life, but has never truly learned what it means to love person to person, touching the boundaries of romantic love. Welt loves life in all its manifestations, which is not hard to see.

ㅤ In the evenings, Welt comes home from work to spend time in intoxicating solitude. He doesn't want the opposite outcome. He's not interested in people. After socializing enough at work, sometimes even discussing more fun and curious topics with talkative optimists, his social battery starts to replenish from scratch. Welt sins of watching simple series or programs, choosing them for a long time on the TV. The most primitive timekillers, which he notices in the process of sudden advertisements on his phone, also help him relax. His brain has been working very hard during the day, and all Welt needs is a lack of attention from people.

ㅤHow would he react to your behavior?

ㅤ How would you want him to react? And how do you act yourself? If you openly confess your warm feelings, Welt will listen and nod. He doesn't know how to react. All a man has to do is use a technique he's personally developed - discussion. Why do these feelings arise? What can be done about them? Where to put your energy, how to distract yourself, how to get past the negative experience of rejection…. you will discuss unrequited love with the object of your affection. Veldt may not look worried, but that's only because it's not the first time he's worked under these conditions. My soul's a little twitchy. No, seriously, he's too focused on "right" and "wrong" to recognize spiritual change, so you'd better drop the idea of a long-term relationship.

ㅤ However, if you keep going to him for a year and those feelings persist, Welt will consider… cutting them off. The meetings, I mean. It's going too far, he's getting worse from your presence, from looking at this sad existence. My heart. is torn with sympathy. Shame and even guilt that he can't take these feelings and make you happy, as a therapist is required to do. Mr. Yang may be sick. But he can't take this torture any longer.

ㅤ What is the most poignant moment within your relationship and how will it develop further?

ㅤ The moment when Welt goes to get the prescriptions to sign them. He has yet to leave the office, just touching the doorknob, before you grab his sleeve and hug him from behind. It doesn't have to be like this. No. Your warm touch burns cold into his soul and rubs his ribs with ice; Mr. Yang freezes for a few seconds, afraid to even move. How long had it been since anyone had hugged him like this? How long had it been since he had touched anyone? All the usual emptiness of society suddenly presses in, making Welt think as if he's losing something special and unknown, and remains standing for a while longer, letting you warm your hands against his ironed black shirt.

ㅤ Maybe human touch isn't as indifferent to Welt as he thought.

No, when you pull away, everything will go back to normal. He'll continue to exist and return to the empty house adorned with the coziness of a deserted space to play silly time-killers and relax. This is really the only truly enjoyable version of Welt's life. He doesn't feel like discussing the hard days.

ㅤ Although. now you're standing flush against each other and not talking about anything, but Welt gets an unfamiliar feeling of companionship, the truest of conversations. No one could give him non-verbal contact but you, and it triggered adrenaline, fear, desire. Mr. Yang thought about how maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to give you a chance to bond, but not necessarily the one you wanted - just the one that interested you both. Time.

ㅤ Will Welt stop practicing with you when he finds out where this is going?

ㅤ How would you like him to react? And what do you do yourself? If you openly confess your warm feelings, Welt will listen and nod. He doesn't know how to react. All a man has to do is use a technique he's personally developed - discussion. Why do these feelings arise? What can be done about them? Where to put your energy, how to distract yourself, how to get past the negative experience of rejection…. you will discuss unrequited love with the object of your affection. Veldt may not look worried, but that's only because it's not the first time he's worked under these conditions. My soul's a little twitchy. No, seriously, he's too focused on "right" and "wrong" to recognize spiritual change, so you'd better drop the idea of a long-term relationship.

ㅤ What is the most poignant moment within your relationship and how will it develop further?

ㅤ Maybe human touch isn't as indifferent to Welt as he thought.

ㅤ Will Welt stop practicing with you when he finds out where this is going?

ㅤ That's a tough question. He'll really want to, but he just can't. Welt is empathic, and at some point will think it's a little wrong to lose you from his life. Welt is interested in what you have going on, he likes it when you share your joys and experiences. And if this is all over, Welt will stop waiting for the second of every month. It's embarrassing, but it's true.

ㅤ How will he feel behind the walls of his office? Will Welt love you?

ㅤ Humanity. He will feel love for a human being. It won't become a romantic feeling, but it will go deep into the bowels of the mind, and if there is a brain to dig into, Welt will willingly do so and train you. The time you spend together is romantic, tender, but it is still a way of acknowledging each other's respect and importance. Silence means that Welt hears your soul.

ㅤ Learning to love the way Welt loves is very difficult. But his feelings are contagious; gradually you will realize and accept that the love you experience is not as comfortable, interesting, and significant as the love Welt offers. You become friends first and foremost. There is no vulgarity or lust between you, at least not for the first few years, because it requires him to recognize you as part of the family.

ㅤ He will be introducing you to his world and way of thinking. Oh, Yang can hear you and everything about you just fine - so you don't have to worry about being misunderstood.

#drabble #headcanon #au #welt #welt x reader #hsr x reader #welt x you #welt x y/n #honkai #honkai star rail #hsr

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