The idle hum of the fluorescent lights is all that resonates in his sensitive ears.
Distantly, he recognizes that he's been sitting in the same position for too long. Long enough that the light seeping through the window somewhere to his right isn't as warm and golden in its hue anymore. He realizes that night time has fallen upon the bustling city of Station Square and perhaps it's late enough for everyone to be leaving for their homes and settling in for sleep after a nice warm meal.
Even more distantly, if that is even possible for his current almost disassociated situation, he realizes that he should be asleep too. Of course his rest doesn't have much to do with the time and the shift in the sky's colours or the quiet city just beyond these walls. He never fell into slumber with the sun, working late at nights for hours without breaks sometimes left him no opportunity for sleep at all. He doesn't mind it though, he likes working. Even if it costs him a bit of rest, he'd rather have his work done sooner than later. Maybe that's what he needs right now. Something to work on will be much better to distract his mind than the buzzing of the lights.
Unfortunately, as much as the idea entices him, he can't leave for his workshop just yet.
He doubts he'd be able to.
If his trembling legs don't give in under the weight of his body then the soul crushing grasp of something icy and sharp around his heart will certainly stop him.
So he stays where he is and listens to the buzz of the lights, of the footsteps as people walk by thin in numbers, as a clock ticks away in a distance — indicating that hours have passed but Tails can't get himself to count the ticks or look at the clock. He has worked hard to concentrate on the fluorescent lights, on their inner workings, their first discovery, their usage and why they're being used in hospital waiting rooms and everything he can think of about them on the top of his head in an attempt to ground himself but he's afraid if he looks at the time, he'll lose his progress and will be back where he begun; on the verge of curling up in a ball of fluff and crying his heart out until he passes out.
The waiting room falls deadly silent after a while — no more footsteps entertain his hearing range and Tails is afraid he's the last one left waiting for updates from the doctors.
This is a bit odd for him too, he hasn't been in this position many times aside from a few where one of their battles did get pretty out of hand but despite all of the adventures, they don't regularly show up at hospitals. Let alone sit in waiting rooms for hours on end, hoping and praying that someone will walk out of that door and tell him that everything is fine, he's fine, he's safe—
Do they even know he's here?
Probably not.
Then again, technically, he isn't supposed to be here either.
For all the doctors and nurses know, he's supposed to be asleep under the weight of all those painkillers in his hospital room.
But there's not much sleeping he can do, can he?
Not when he doesn't know if Sonic's breathing again or—
Nope. No. Okay, let's not do that. Back to the lights. There's a moth that has started bumping into it repeatedly and he briefly wonders where it got in from since the windows appear to be closed and all. Briefly, since he doesn't ponder it for long. He lets his tired eyes — exhausted, red, getting heavier with every passing second and threatening to dampen — trail the insect's movements. It bumps into the light, circles about afterwards and then tries again and keeps repeating this cycle and maybe it's enough to distract him, even for a while. He's enraptured with the small creature's naïveté.
He thinks, in a sense, he isn't that different from the moth.
He just doesn't know if the waiting room is his light or is it his brother?
He's afraid to say it's the latter.
Tails loves Sonic.
He loves his brother more than anything in this world and he's been so sure that Sonic loves him just as much if not more too because that's just who they are. They are Sonic and Tails, they're brothers not bound by blood but something stronger — an unbreakable thread binding them both. They're a cosmic truth.
Yet Tails finds himself sitting here and questioning himself of that bond.
Sonic and Tails are to each other what a moth is to a flame.
They love each other.
But Tails is starting to see the flame get too close.
They'll burn.
And Tails is okay with burning if it's for Sonic, don't get him wrong. He'll do anything for Sonic. He's burnt for Sonic before, the bandages covering half his face and his right arm should be enough proof.
He's just afraid of burning Sonic.
He's afraid they've reached that point today.
Sonic is hurt because of him.
He's supposed to be the smart one, isn't he? Three hundred IQ and he couldn't have realized this sooner? Did he really need for today to come pass to know what the unbreakable bond truly means? Could he have spared Sonic the pain?
Tears prick at his eyes but Tails doesn't think he deserves to cry.
Not after what he did today.
Not after being the reason he almost lost his brother today.
(Worst of all; he still doesn't know if Sonic is okay.)
Tails finds it difficult to breathe around the lump in his throat.
Pathetic. Cry baby.
His own voice echoes in his mind, taunting.
He takes a deep breath and steels himself. He knows the solution to the moth and flame problem but he's certain Sonic will never agree to it. Sonic is too kind, too good, too generous. It will be cruel of Tails to know how to protect his brother and not do it, Sonic doesn't deserve that.
Tails hurt Sonic.
The flame burnt the moth.
In order to not hurt Sonic anymore, Tails will simply snuff out the flame.
Even if his brother disagrees with him, Tails knows it's for the best.
(Quietly, distantly, his own heart disagrees with him too but he's too scared to listen to him.)
Another half an hour passes before a doctor walks out of the emergency room.
There's a hint of surprise on her face upon seeing him there — since he's supposed to be resting in his room and not be here — but she quickly moulds her expression into a more professional one before she delivers the news to him.
“He's awake.”
Even though Tails smiles, his ocean eyes tired and out of tears, he doesn't visit Sonic.
He doesn't visit Sonic for a long time.
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