SO MANY HEADCANONS.
(copy and pasting some of my older posts btw)
ALSO! Ask me any of my other headcanons with the ask feature thingy, for example, creek hcs, clyde hcs, or anything like that. ill answer!
Stan: Blue eyes, short black greasy hair ( he never washes his frickin hair ) he has some acne, he's the 2nd tallest in the main 4, he's thin, has earrings, he has a slipknot pin on his hat, and has some eye bags because he never sleeps 😱 he's bisexual ( girl pref ) and Demi boy. He has autism, and asthma. special interest is bored games, he listens to Slipknot, MCR, deftones, Korn, his fav song is Duality. his fav food is m&ms, his fav video game is Roblox, he also plays RimWorld, terrified of snakes, his fav shows are Stranger things, The simpsons, Spongebob, and Rick and morty, cares more for animals than most people, gets annoyed when people talk to much. His phone is full of pictures of Sparky. whenever he's home alone he chugs some of Randy's beer 😭 his phone is always on do not disturb. still keeps in touch with the goth kids. he's very close with Tolkien, which Kyle got mad about since Stan was jealous when Kyle was making tiktoks with Tolkien. he gets B-. Loves horror games and movies and forces kyle to play them with him, paints his nails black. asks for a cat every Christmas, has a Bart Simpson sad pfp ( you know those.. ) really into creepy pastas. he watched TheOddOnesOut, and SomethingElseYT
Kyle: he has olive eyes, really curly short ginger hair, he has braces, and a bigger nose, he's pretty pale and has freckles, the shortest out of the 4, and he's chubby. he's bisexual and asexual ( he ofc found out when he's older ). he has type 1 diabetes (and is really embarrassed about it). anxiety, autism ( his special interest is ocean creatures ) and bad anger issues. he listens to AJR, Green day, The cure, Weezer, The offspring. his fav song is Pretty fly for a white guy. his fav food is stew, and and he drinks monster sometimes. His fav game is Minecraft and Fnaf 1. He's a giant germaphobe, he washes his hands after every time he goes somewhere. he's also scared of gore. he watches Gravity Falls, BfDI. Spongebob, Him and Ike watch Yo gabba gabba together 😭😭 He cant watch horror movies, and cant play scary games. He talks A LOT. He has a handsanitizer bottle on his desk. His favorite holiday is Halloween, he gets A+ most of the time, but sometimes he gets A-. he spends 2 hours doing his hair, he studies really hard, and gets furious if someone else in class gets a higher grade ( its usually Wendy ) he try's to draw good, and thinks he does, but its very poorly drawn cartoon drawings with detailed eyes. he try's to straighten his hair but it just looks very weird, and it made him sad 😓HIM AND STAN WATCH SPONGEBOB TOGETHER AND THEY LOAD UP ON EVERYSINGLE SNACK. he's insecure about his looks. he looks up to his dad a lot, he cry's when his teachers don't respond to him putting up his hand 😭. doesn't notice when he's raising his voice. sleeps with his orca whale plushie 😎 He watches Markiplier, Flamingo, and LS Mark.
Cartman: 1 brown eye, 1 blue eye, short light brown messy hair, he has long eyelashes and some acne, he has a tooth gap, he's the tallest of the 4, and ofc he's a fatass 😭 he's gay, lactose intolerant and has heterochromia (left is brown, right is blue) He listens to Lady gaga, Britney spears, Taylor swift. and his fav song is Poker face. His fav food is Cheesy Poofs, and Pancakes. His fav game is Happy wheels and People playground. he has Trypanophobia. He watches Saw, The Human Centipede, and Happy tree friends. when he plays Minecraft with people he refuses to share a house with someone cuz it's gay, he scams kids in Roblox adopt me. Him and Shelly play smash or pass together with celebrities 😭 he has a Instagram account for Mr Kitty. He's an iPad kid 🤪🤪🤪🤪 goes on Omegle (let's pretend it's still up) and pretends to be a girl. Has an account on Twitter just for making fun of Kyle, listens to true crime. Collects stickers 😊😊 begs his mom to give him robux, he also has another Twitter account that's a Stan account for lady Gaga. Terrified of Wendy 😭😲 the coon is his fursona, he also pretends that he hates furrys but secretly is one 😭 Gets C-. reddit user.. says "MY CONTROLLER BROKE" when he loses a game, he's fluent in German. He's really smart, sometimes even smarter than Kyle, but doesn't care to use it for good, he just uses it for asshole shit. Sleeps with all 10000 of his stuffed animals. he hates fathers day. he watches Trisha paytas, ishowspeed, and shane dawson. 😭😭
Kenny: Blue eyes, messy blonde hair, he has a tooth gap, and his clothes are really dirty, he's the 2nd shortest of the 4, and he's pretty skinny, he's pansexual and genderfluid. he listens to Cardi B, Gorillaz, Vengaboys. and his fav song is Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom!! his fav food is Grilled cheese. His fav game is DDLC and FNF (he plays on butters pc) He watches Pokemon, MPL ( originally Karen forced him to watch it but he kinda likes it LMAO ) and Sailor moon. he falls asleep in class a lot. He gets B+. therapist friend, zones out a lot. He sometimes comes to school with pigtails that Karen gave him. He never fights with his siblings. Stan always gives him some of his school lunch. his clothes are covered in holes and stains. he loves playing truth or dare and always picks dare. he loves birthday party's and always take a ton of food to bring to his family. he wants a pet rat so bad. he likes Stan the best out of the main 4, he sometimes finds Kyle super annoying and cartman... well its cartman.. goes outside and burns pieces of paper for fun. he watches Mr Beast ( he comments on every video "please help me") Gawr Gura, Ironmouse, and Pokimane.
Butters: Blue eyes, very short blonde hair, a scar on his right eye. he's the same height as Kenny, slim, has a couple freckles but not NEARLY as much as Kyle 😨he's Bisexual. He has PTSD. He listens to BTS, Disney songs, his fav song is Butter 🙀 His fav food is Ice cream ( strawberry ) His fav game is Hello Kitty Island Adventure, and Roblox. He watches Hello kitty (ofc) MLP ( him and Kenny watch it together) and Spongebob. He loves pastel colors. VERY bad memory, likes the taste of milk, Bites his nails, He still has the Marjorine clothes and likes to dance around in them, HIM AND BRADLEY ARE PEN PALS. Has to sing the ABCs to know the placements Gets A-. He also cant watch horror movies or play scary games like Kyle. He starts celebrating Christmas in October. watches those boys vrs girls gacha life music videos. USES THOSE VERY CURLY STRAWS IN CHOCOLOTE MILK AND BLOWS BUBBLES IN THEM!!! He's an art kid. He watches DanTDM, and Stampy
PLEASE DONT FLOP THIS TOOK 5 DAYS
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hermitcraft headcanons time babey!!
what if bdubs always sleeps not because he likes the sun - but because he's actually a phantom in human form? he doesn't want to hurt his friends, so he avoids nighttime and being in that cursed form as much as possible. it's not that he dislikes being a phantom, it comes with a lot of perks, but he dislikes haunting other players like some kind of vampire thirsty for blood.
and with no offence to tango, that guy has some absolutely stunning eyes that can make you dream of your childhood while hes suckling on some pig blood packs. freshly supplied from the server's butcher - a certain blue slime - because most hybrid blood tastes ickier than magma cream.
on topic, jevin has been awfully quiet ever since gem pointed out in the last server meeting that slimes and snails have more in common than being slimy - being intersex. now confused with this newly discovered interest in hybrid intimate parts, he goes around and asks everyone if they can show him their genitals. hm. you can guess yourself how that will end.
xisuma on the other hand is very very busy not only refining his skull base, but also making modifications to the one on his head. the voidwalker has been getting plagued with constant headaches from his newest frontal bone being screwed together incorrectly. and since not many people have knowledge on voidwalker anatomy, he tends to go to the one and only other one he knows of - etho, who gladly takes time to get the finicky metal bits to stick to bone without ruining that genuis head of their admin.
and oh dear joe, the guy who appears and disappears as they please in that moment. don't worry too much about what exactly they are. nobody knows. many suspect that underneath that well maintained skin hides nothing more than a swarm of stupid damselflies trying to impersonate a cat, which would explain an awful lot about joe. but as mentioned, nobody knows. cleo questions if joe themself even know what in the world they are.
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Rayla knows she’s an elf, of course; she always knows she’s an elf.
There’s too many physical differences to shy away from—the horns, the hair, the restlessness that comes with every full moon cycle—even if Soren, as big brothers are prone to do, tries to convince her when she’s four that she lost both her pinky fingers in a cooking accident (it doesn’t work, and she jabs both fingers in his eyes as payback when she’s fed up with it, as little sisters are prone to do).
Claudia tells her stories as they braid each other’s hair, of thieving Skywing elves, tumultuous Tidebound elves, and bloodthirsty Moonshadow elves. Claudia hugs her sister tight, round the middle from behind. “Thank goodness we saved you!”
It’s the mantra Rayla gets used to, those first four years at the castle, whenever she’s given strange look, or a new servant stops in fright of her, or a visiting diplomat reacts poorly.
“She’s an elf—” comes the mind-numbing exclamation.
And then her family—usually her brother or sister, or sometimes her father—leaping to her defense. Mother clasps her shoulder comfortingly with one hand. “She’s a good elf, and our ward—part of the royal court.”
Even Captain Amaya lightens up on her before she leaves to lead the Standing Battalion, although Rayla always needs an interpreter to translate. “Better a Moonshadow elf than a Sunfire elf,” and it feels like approval.
Rayla asks just once where she comes from, her parents exchanging a glance before Mother answers, “A Moonshadow glade, all on your own. Your father searched, but he couldn’t find...”
Viren pats her on the head and draws her into his lap next to where Claudia is cocooned in one arm, Soren playing with wooden figurines on the rug, having earned himself five more minutes before he has to take his yucky medicine. “I searched far and wide,” Viren tells her, pale eyes smooth like sea glass in the firelight. “But all I found was you, little Moonlight, and I’m very glad.”
The new crownguard Captain, Amaya’s older sister Sarai, is much nicer and doesn’t rat them out when she spies Rayla and Soren and Claudia sneaking into the kitchens after hours. She’s fantastic with a spear, far flashier than Amaya’s shield, and Rayla and Soren soon spend hours whacking each other with wooden training swords in the courtyard while Claudia complains, and Sarai’s son, younger by a year, sits quietly and draws. He pushes his hair out of his eyes a lot and Rayla thinks Captain Sarai should give him a haircut, the way Dad does with her—she wonders if Sarai captures Callum’s cut locks in a jar the same way Viren does for her, Claudia, and Soren.
Having her hair collected makes her feel a little strange (a little more different), but it’s all of them, so not that strange.
“I’ll be head crownguard someday,” Soren crows, tossing his sword from side to side. He may be the oldest at eight, but he’s a dunderhead, as Rayla hefts hers up.
“Not if I am!”
But they’ll have years before that happens, Claudia scowling when they head back in for the night. “Did you have to fight all day?” she harrumphs. “Mom and Dad already—”
Rayla, always alert at night, thinks of hearing Claudia tiptoe past her room to crawl into Soren’s bedroom, or hers, depending on how loudly Mom and Dad are fighting.
Soren smiles, wheezing, and Rayla thinks maybe they have stayed out too late. Soren has been sick since winter and it’s nearly summer, and Dad keeps saying he’ll get better, but... he hasn’t. Even if Claudia always says he’s looking cheery, Rayla can see the way her brother’s complexion is changing to match her very pale one more every day, his blond hair losing its sheen.
Then, one day in autumn, Mom says Soren has to rest, a steely glint in her eyes, her blond hair braided back. She’s angry, not in a you need to eat your vegetables way (mushy peas are an abomination), or even in the way she and Dad will get into it sometimes in front of them, tossing barbs back and forth before they remember themselves. Rayla’s never seen anger like this before.
She sneaks into Claudia’s room when Soren still isn’t at dinner, and neither is Dad. “What do you think?” she asks, mind whirring with possibilities. One of them is that something bad has happened to Soren, but Rayla won’t entertain that thought. He’s going to be fine, unless—
“I don’t think anything,” Claudia says stubbornly, burying her face in her pillow, dark hair fanning out across white linen. Then, realizing she’s called herself stupid and Rayla almost wants to smirk in spite of it all, Claudia course-corrects. “I mean I do think, but not about this—Soren is fine. Dad is fine. They’re just... busy.”
She sounds close to tears, but clearly doesn’t want to be around anyone, so Rayla slips out and makes her own way down the dark castle hallways. She evades Sarai on her patrols by hiding behind a tapestry and runs into her father, halfway on route to his study.
“Rayla,” he says when she emerges out of the shadows, a hand on his chest. His expression is hard. “You startled me.”
Sorry rests on the tip of her tongue, but then he steps into a shaft of moonlight—and her dad is not her dad, his visage cracked and a washed out grey, dark forks of purple lightning scattered over his skin. But Rayla doesn’t recoil, too used to being on a receiving end, and instead holds his gaze. She won’t be afraid. Fear is weakness.
Slowly, Viren’s gaze softens, before she asks, “Is Soren okay?”
Viren bends down on one knee, placing his grey hands on her shoulders, his eyes black and rimmed with purple. It makes her think of the Moonshadow form Claudia has mentioned from her books and if they would match, if Rayla was able to do it one day. “Yes, Moonlight,” he says, voice hoarse. “Your brother is perfectly fine.”
He and Mother’s marriage is not, and once Soren is back on his feet—boisterous and bright and more swaggering than ever (but Rayla will let him have this, cheeks flushed and full of life)—Lissa leaves around three months later. Their parents announce the divorce quietly, even if Claudia sobs loudly, clutching both of their legs, and Soren looks a little shell shocked.
Rayla cries and holds onto her, too, but Lissa combs her fingers through her hair. “It’s alright little Moonberry,” she soothes, as Soren chooses to stay with Dad, and Claudia trembles. Lissa gives Viren a look, as she draws Claudia into her arms as well. “You’ll be alright here, Rayla,” she says, almost angry again. “Dad will do anything to protect his children. All of his children.”
Rayla just nods, not understanding, and Viren spends the day shut up in his office once Lissa is gone, Harrow overseeing the three of them at dinner. The king tells bad jokes that make Rayla snort berry juice out of her nose because they’re so terrible.
She can’t sleep that night, either, and locates her father in the library by the armchairs, the mage’s words echoing in her head.
She’s going back to Del Bar, where her family is from, echoes in Rayla’s head as she climbs into Viren’s lap. “Dad?” she says and he hums, looking at her, perturbed and patient as she waits for her to speak again. “Will I have to go back to where my family is from, too?”
“No,” Viren says quickly, tucking her hair back behind pointed ears. He regards her, thinking, although she can’t tell what. “No, you’re much too precious, Rayla. You are an elf, but you are one of us. We will never let you slip away.”
In the moment, it’s a promise that settles her.
(Years later, it will feel like a threat.)
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