#so please appreciate it lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkskinned · 3 months

Text

crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.

i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.

in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.

i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.

i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.

plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.

the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.

we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.

i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.

a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.

today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.

loved beyond thinking.

#spilled ink #writeblr #personal #please don't ask me to talk on my experience on the spectrum lol. i hate how ppl talk to me about it #i really try not to write so specifically about it #bc inevitably someone talks to me like im a child #i think this is the first time i've ever openly identified with it but i've been hinting for years #i might delete this. feels big.#the thing is that being on the spectrum actually IS a spectrum #and if u say ur autistic #inevitably someone makes an assumption about ur needs/symptoms #please do not treat me differently than u usually would. like.... we can tell when you do #and like i mention. i do appreciate the effort. i do truly appreciate the effort.#but it still feels like...#when i was blind. sometimes people kind of did the same-ish thing.#they'd find out i was blind and start talking really loudly?#and while i KNOW they're just trying to help. it would be like. i'd be trying to find #the right way into a building (sometimes only 1 door is unlocked and i couldn't see the signs posted about where to go)#and ppl would be like ''OH UR BLIND? YES SO THIS IS A DOOR. IT OPENS INTO THE BUILDING. IT IS LOCKED NOW."#''A DOOR CAN BE FOUND IN MANY LOCATIONS.''#and it feels like. when i admit to being autistic #someone comes screeching into my life being like THIS IS A DOOR.

2K notes · View notes

chiscribbs · 3 months

Text

Grown Apart AU - Musical Style ✨

What is This Feeling from Wicked pretty perfectly encapsulates GA Donnie and Leo's first impressions of each other, so the musical nerd within me couldn't resist doing this (lol).

Context within the plot: After saving Mikey's life (by total coincidence), Donnie manages to infiltrate the Hamato residence as a spy, planning to capture the oozesquitos and hand them over to Big Mama, thus gaining her favor. Leo, however, sees through his act easily and has been keeping an eye on him since he arrived. Due to circumstances outside of their control - i.e. Splinter's decision - the two of them are forced to share a room with each other, which neither party is particularly thrilled about.

----------------

I just found out that, apparently, Grown Apart has made into the @tmntaucompetition preliminaries!!!! ASDFGHJKJH;!! Thank you to anyone who sent in a nomination! I guess we can officially call this "propaganda" now, so look forward to seeing much more in the very near future!

#Seriously I ASDFGHJKJHG I'm stunned and I'm really excited to compete with other amazing AUs in the comp!#I really appreciate everyone who had a part in giving me that chance thank you so much <3 Please continue to vote for GA!#grown apart au (rottmnt)#rottmnt au #rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #disaster twins #rottmnt donnie #rise donnie #donatello hamato #rottmnt leo #rise leo #leonardo hamato #chiscribbs #fanart #comic #Apologies if you have any trouble reading my handwriting btw lol

1K notes · View notes

dekariosclan · 3 months

Text

Imagine Gale as a talented and impressive young man, able to compose the Weave at will, skilled in a way that few can match, and favored by the Goddess of Magic herself. Imagine that because of these accomplishments, he’s caught the eye of a few up-and-coming magic adepts, and he falls in love with one of them—his first real love. Gale isn’t one to toss the ‘L’ word around lightly, so when he tells them he loves them, he means it; he gives himself over to them completely.

And in return, they love him for his potential. For his status. For the magic he can command. They love the wizard they see on the surface, but not the man underneath. They are attracted to his power, but not to him.

So of course the relationship fails, after the thrill of his magic wears off. But because Gale is a resilient young man and he’s caught the eye of so many, he soon falls in love with another.

And then it happens again. And again.

And each time Gale’s heart is ravaged, his ambition to become a better wizard grows, because he’s being shown time and time again that his magic ability is all that matters.

So much so that, by the time Mystra decides to elevate him from Favored to Chosen to Lover, he welcomes her with eager, desperate arms. Because if all his worth is in his magic, and that’s all he has to offer, and that’s all anyone wants from him, who better to love him than the Goddess of Magic herself?

Except…there’s a nagging voice in the back of his head that whispers she doesn’t really love him. There’s anxiety in his heart as time passes, and he reaches both the limit of what his talents can do and what Mystra will allow him to do. And most troubling of all: a growing panic that, just like his other lovers, she will soon grow tired of him and discard him if he can’t improve his magic any further.

He tries pouting, and pleading, and begging her to let him take more power, to let him be more for her, but she refuses. Smiles patronizingly. Tells him to be patient. But Gale can’t be patient when his power is tied so closely to his self-worth; he can’t be patient when doing so in the past has only ever lead to heartache.

So he does what he believes will be a Grand Romantic Gesture, one that will finally put him on equal footing with the woman he loves. Instead, it turns out to be a folly that dooms him and destroys his talents. And just as he’d always feared, Mystra tosses him aside the moment his magical gifts are gone—because what’s left of him holds no value for her.

————

Imagine Gale in his tower, alone, afraid, the ever-hungry orb in his chest, with only his tressym there to help him. No other friends to speak of. His colleagues forced to keep away for their own safety. His magical talents utterly stripped down, so that even when he does try and distract himself with illusions, he’s bitterly reminded of what he used to be capable of. Waking every morning wondering if it will be his last, ending every day full of loneliness and disappointment.

…and then he meets Tav.

At the lowest point in his life, at his most vulnerable, when he knows he’s going to be considered a burden, he meets this stranger and their group. So he does what he can to be useful—assigning himself to be camp cook, offering up his (now meager) magic skills, turning the charm up to 11—as he desperately hopes this will somehow work out. He’s pleasantly surprised when, after providing only minor details of his condition, Tav agrees to help him. He’s even more surprised when they actually follow through.

Imagine how Gale feels as Tav treats him kindly. As he grows to trust Tav, and then grows to like them. Imagine his surprise as he opens up and shows them more and more of himself, and they don’t turn him away.

But then his condition worsens. And he has to reveal everything: the foolish mistakes he’s made, and how dangerous he is as a result. He clings to Tav’s hand as he shows them his folly. He’s at their mercy now, and he knows this might be the last time he’ll ever feel the touch of another being, if they decide—and Gods, why wouldn’t they decide?—to cast him out.

…but they don’t. They don’t. Instead, they tell him to stay.

Imagine the relief Gale feels. The gratitude. And perhaps…just a hint of something more. Something that he dare not name, but that flares to life every time he thinks of how warm their hand was in his. Something that feels dangerously close to jealousy, when he’s had too much to drink and sees Tav smiling at another…

But he knows these are all foolish thoughts, because he has nothing to offer Tav. They are wonderful just as they are, but he…he is an empty shell of a man, a discarded husk of a wizard, and while they might tolerate him, he could never believe they might actually want him.

And besides, he still thinks of Mystra. He still longs for Mystra. She who cast him out, but to whom he still feels tethered. Sometimes he needs to cocoon himself in the weave, just to try and calm his fears and bring some joy back to his life, because magic is his life. And sometimes he just needs to see her face, even though that hurts as much as it heals.

One night he’s lost in thought, having conjured Mysta’s image after settling down at camp. Thinking that even if she hadn’t ‘loved’ him—certainly not in the way he’d loved her—she’d given him enough otherwise, hadn’t she? She’d amused him and been amused by him, they’d shared countless pleasures, why hadn’t he been satisfied with that?

Gale is so lost in thought he doesn’t realize Tav has come up behind him. Until they ask a question, startling him out of his trance. He’s a bit shaken, so he tries to turn the conversation from Mystra to the weave itself. And then a wonderful idea occurs to him, something that he’d been toying with already: what if they were to conjure the weave together?

He can show Tav how important magic is to him, let them experience what he does, perhaps even impress them a bit. But most importantly, share a moment with them. As friends would do…

He’s elated when Tav agrees. He leads them through the steps effortlessly, and they’re a surprisingly good student, following his instructions correctly (if a bit clumsily). He’s as excited as they are—perhaps even more so!—when they succeed in channeling the weave.

It’s such a pleasant, familiar feeling for him, like coming home to his tower in Waterdeep. Even as the weave connects him with Tav and makes them one, he’s easily able to hide his innermost thoughts, because he’s done it so many times before.

…but he’s forgotten that Tav has not.

————

Imagine Gale knowing every romantic partner he ever had only wanted him because of how he could raise their status, or how he could amuse them, or how he could command magic for them. And, each time, he was happy to oblige them, even desperate to oblige them, because if that was the price of their love, then he was sure it would be worth it.

But it still all came to nothing.

Now imagine Gale connected in an intimate way with someone he likes very, very much—while being what he considers his lowest, most worthless, and most humbled self. As far from the powerful, impressive wizard he once was as he could ever be. And suddenly a vision enters his mind from the lovely creature standing next to him. Only, to his complete and utter shock, it isn’t one where he is providing them with a service, or wowing them with his magical ability, or granting them some kind of power from one of the spells he commands.

Instead, when he sees their desire laid bare before him, it’s a vision of kissing him. Of holding his hand. The two most basic forms of affection and physical connection. The two things that he would still be able to offer them even if every last ounce of his remaining magical abilities were stripped from him. The two things he could share with them even if he was no longer Gale of Waterdeep, and just plain old Gale Dekarios instead.

Imagine the embarrassment and trepidation he feels at first, because surely he is mistaken?…and then the elation when he realizes that he is not. So much elation that his concentration is broken, the weave dissipating as he forgets about channeling it, as he forgets about Mystra. Because all that matters to him now is the image before him—the most pleasant and welcome image he’s seen in a very, very long time.

Imagine how that would feel…and how besotted, enamored and completely devoted he’d be to Tav afterwards. To know that someone finally—finally—just wants him.

Just imagine.

#Please enjoy this huge dissertation about Gale #(which was unintentional)#I originally wanted to talk briefly—BRIEFLY—about why the weave scene is so important to him #And then I….kept writing lol #Please also note that while this focuses on successfully channeling the weave I also LOVE the talk you have with him if you ‘failed’ it!#The same themes apply there because when you tell Gale you still think about being alone together he replies that he hopes to embrace you #It’s all about Gale finally finding someone who appreciates him just as he is and being able to connect with them #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #baldur's gate 3 #gale x tav #bg3

1K notes · View notes

dorothygale · 8 days

Text

dashboard simulator: the taylor swift album leaked

🦋 swiftiemutual13

This post contains filtered tags. #ttpd spoilers [ View post ]

🐱 offline-swiftie

wait i just got online did the album leak

0 notes

🍑 nonswiftie-mutual

does anyone have a link lmao

#x.txt

2 notes

💋 swiftie-mutual reblogged swiftie-mutual-inlaw

🫶 swiftie-mutual-inlaw

if you listen to leaks you should literally be stoned to death

#taylor swift #ttpd

149 notes

👩🏼 another-swiftie-mutual

This post contains filtered tags. #ttpd spoilers [ View post ]

🐱 offline-swiftie reblogged swiftgifblog

💁🏼‍♀️ swiftgifblog

#eras tour #we were both young when i first saw queue

326 notes

👩🏼 another-swiftie-mutual

This post contains filtered tags. #ttpd spoilers [ View post ]

🐵 funnyman-blogger

listened to the entire album three times why does she suck soooo bad lmaoo i'm about to listen to it again because of how bad it is

34 notes

👱🏻‍♀️ person-who-acts-like-theyre-a-swiftie

listened to the entire album three times why does she suck soooo bad lmaoo i'm about to listen to it again because of how bad it is

#she hasn't made anything good since 2008

0 notes

👩🏼‍🎓 differentswiftie

anonymous asked: do you have a link???

here you go

#seriously. find it yourself if you're that desperate #ask #anonymous

27 notes

🦋 swiftiemutual13

#help

5 notes

🍂 otherswiftie

guys i'm starting to lose hope for evermore long pond

18 notes

#i put so much effort into this please appreciate it #there's storytelling. reverse chronological.#also the gifs are mine lol #taylor swift #50 #100 #500

632 notes · View notes

hauntedandmurdered · 4 months

Text

The sexiest touch in movie history and no, nothing's ever gonna change my mind.

#clannibal #clarice starling #hannibal lecter #silence of the lambs #anthony hopkins #hannibal x clarice #dr hannibal lecter #gifs #movie gifs #did you get that 'no' reference lol #Sir Anthony going 'nO' lives in my head rent free all day long #but back to them can we just appreciate anything about this scene please and thanks #I just know it's not solely me having shivers all over my body when watching/reading that scene right #Clannibal supremacy #Him breathing out “Goodbye Clarice” is not a final passage but a promise for what might follow soon enough #I'm again being so normal about them #If there were no bars between them Asfkkhxdr

289 notes · View notes

mroddmod · 2 years

Text

so we all want Will to get a gun in s5, right?

4K notes · View notes

threesonsofyorks · 1 month

Text

"And now, his monarch's sweating face thrust into his, he remembers something his father told him: if you burn your hand, Tom, raise your hands and cross your wrists before you, and hold them so till you get to the water or the salve: I don't know how it works, but it confuses the pain, and then if you utter a prayer at the same time, you might get off not too bad. He raises his palms. He crosses his wrists. Back you go, Henry. As confused by the gesture — as if almost relieved to be stopped—the king face away and so relieving him, Cromwell, of that bloodshot stare, of the indecent closeness of the popping blue whites of the king's eyes. He says, softly, 'God preserve you, Majesty. And now, will you excuse me?' (Mantel, H. 2012. Bring up the Bodies. 276-277)

MARK RYLANCE and DAMIAN LEWIS as THOMAS CROMWELL and KING HENRY VIII in WOLF HALL (2015-) | 1x05 "Crows"

196 notes · View notes

minty364 · 3 months

Text

DPXDC Prompt #61 part 1

Danny didn’t like thinking about his old life. He was born to a family of assassins and as soon as he was out he never looked back. He had to fake his death and he changed his name, as far as anyone knew Damian Al Ghul had died on a mission to America. He was determined to keep this secret to the grave. Of course he knew who his dad was, Bruce Wayne was a prominent figure and he knew if we went there his secret would get out and he never wanted to be forced to be an assassin again. Once was enough.

Danny knew he had a soft heart, his adoptive parents, the Fentons and Jazz had told him so. Jazz knew he didn’t have the greatest childhood or past but she never pried, she understood his business was his and wouldn’t let her own curiosity get the better of her. The only issue their family had was their parents obsession with ghosts. Damian never believed in ghosts, the entire thing sounded like a hoax. He probably never would have believed in them but then life happened.

Danny believed, but it was kind of hard not too after everything that happened. When he had turned 14, his parents finished their biggest project yet. A portal to the ghost zone, of course it doesn’t work at first and his parents were very disappointed. Danny felt conflicted about the whole thing. On one hand he wanted his parents to succeed and he wanted them to be happy, on the other the portal was the reason he ate alone with his sister at night. He wanted a normal family life, something he was never allowed back at the league.

He did something so stupid that night.

After his parents along with his sister were asleep, he crept down to the basement and stood in front of the empty hole in the wall. He looked around the outside of it first but nothing seemed to be out of place. Then he stepped into it and before he got too far into it something happened. He knew there were a lot of cords on the floor and thought he had avoided them all, but as he realized he was quickly being acquainted with the floor, he out of instinct held his hand out to catch himself on the wall. Right onto the ON button.

He didn’t remember much but pain after that.

A lot happened in the year after the portal was turned on but Danny thought he was taking things well. His sister found out about everything sooner than he liked but having someone to help him was something he didn’t realize he really needed until then. The ghost attacks were frequent and Danny was having trouble finding the time for school, friends, and fighting ghosts that the assistance helped a lot.

Danny sat at as desk in Mr. Lancers class, who was going on about the play Hamlet. Danny was only half paying attention, he was preoccupied thinking about the latest conversation he had with Clockwork. Danny was recently crowned prince after his victory over Pariah Dark. He didn’t want the crown, ancients knew what Grandfather would do if he ever found out, but he had no other option but to accept. The conversation left him rather drained and it felt like every word his teacher spoke bled together.

He eventually made his way to lunch and before he could make it to his destination a blue mist wafted out of his mouth. Sighing he ran out of the room to find a place to transform. Once he was Phantom he wasted no time finding the ghost. Of course it was Boxie.

Before he had time to even fight though a portal opened up right besides Danny and he was kicked in by the Box Ghost. The world seemed to swirl around him until he landed harshly onto some pavement. The pavement was a roof and he appeared to be in a city.

Not just any city he soon realized as he looked over to a bank that had the words ‘Gotham Bank’ brightly plastered on the front.

Shit… Danny wanted to avoid something like this, unfortunately the portal was already gone.

After taking a moment to think about his predicament he decided the best course of action was to call Jazz.

He took a look around the rooftop he was on and when he didn’t see anyone he transformed back.

Pulling out his cell from his pocket he pulled up his sister's contact on it and hit the call button.

His sister took a bit longer than usual to answer but the hesitation in her voice caused him to pause, “H-hello?”

“Jazz, it’s Danny, we’ve got a code green,” he knew setting up code colors with his sister would come in handy. Red meant he was gravely injured, yellow meant the ghost got away and he was in pursuit, blue meant he caught the ghost, and green meant he fell through a portal or something similar.

There was silence on the other line for a moment and Danny was almost going to say something else but she spoke, “How do you know my name?”

Master Post:

#dp x dc prompt #dp x dc #dc x dp #danny fenton #danny phantom #Damian ran away from the League of Assassins and changed his name #He meets himself in the next chapter #Danny dies #my asks are open #all my prompts are free to use #Honestly a little tired #I got fired yesterday from my job #They just said my position wasn’t needed anymore because they were caught up #I spent the last month helping them get caught up and it just sucks because it sounded more long term lol #Please let me know if I’m doing this right #I’ve never had this many followers or even close it on any other social media account #So this kinda terrifies me but I really appreciate the support I’ve gotten on here

375 notes · View notes

thwackk · 1 year

Text

people underestimate the comedic potential of eobard’s existence and his extreme petty hatred for this one (1) dude

bonus because i just feel like barry would think he’s just hallucinating or something but came up with the WORST way to tell his mom that

#barry allen #the flash #eobard thawne #dc #nora allen #my art lol #he sucks at being normal #eobard thawne sleep paralysis demon #also please appreciate barry’s weird ass room i spent way too long on it #it looks like shit but yaknow. i tried my best #i rlly suck at stuff like that #of course rhis kid likes star trek AND star wars #are you insane? why limit it to one??#poor nora #eobard just wanted to put shaving cream in his hand but found he was not there and was thoroughly irritated by this and decided #to put shaving cream on his pillow but now there’s a child lookin at him with the autism eyes #i wonder how many small stupid inconveniences this man causes when he gets bored #how many of his pencils have you broken when he’s in the middle of a test #how many times have you moved furniture slightly out so he stubs his toe #this man is so petty i wouldnt put it past him yaknow #im telling you guys the comedy is endless #barry’s hair looks like bart’s a little bit cause i was trying to make it look messy and unruly #whoops

2K notes · View notes

adrielrook · 3 months

Text

Smooth jazz Chaz appreciation post ❤️

Cause he deserves more love <3 actually I’m very happy that there are a lot of people who love this little menace to the trolls society!

159 notes · View notes

juniper-clan · 3 months

Note

Do you have any tips or recommendations for someone who wants to make their own comic based on their ClanGen save?

Hi! I answered this about a month ago when I was early on in JuniperClan. I'll cover stuff I didn't cover there, or that I've learned from experience.

Now your mileage may vary on this, but

Play the Whole Story Through

What I mean is, if your clan is going to have a story for 100 moons, play those 100 moons and take an agonizing amount of screenshots.

Not only do you know the ending, but you can hint to the ending or future events early on. You can also play around with your pacing -- If you think a character should come in a few moons early to participate in an event that would shape their character, you will have ample room to figure out how to do that without mucking up the story or making it confusing.

I'm aware of my pace, and know that JuniperClan is going to take over a year to complete, likely. That leads us to ...

Accommodate Yourself

If you don't have storytelling knowledge or are unsure if you want to tackle a huge Iliad of a cat story that could take years, just do a little 30 moon mini comic (or novella!) and see if it's to your liking.

And while I had covered it in my prior writing ask, emphasis mine upon:

INTERACTION

Make friends. The Clangen community is pure and untouched by most discourse. It's just people playing God with pixel cats. You don't have to be besties, but comment on your mutual's work and build up a repertoire. I remember the usernames of the people who comment on my work and I always like talking with them. I joined a Discord Server and while I am not very active it is very inspiring to see other people working on their own.

The only other thing that comes to mind is writing dialogue. If I'm alone I'll talk to myself and see if the dialogue sounds natural and genuine. I'll be driving to work and have a whole conversation from the comic repeatedly to try and get the language right for each character lmao it looks insane

Thanks!

#jcooc #jcasks #i appreciate all the questions #i dont consider myself a great storyteller so im always surprised and humbled when people say they like my writing and characterization #if you have any specific questions about clangen storymaking please ask #I am not a writer but I try lol

135 notes · View notes

crowfromfoggyforest · 2 months

Text

It's time for some Random Ramblings!

I love "Loser, Baby". The first time i heard it, it almost made me cry. And i've already seen several people talk about how wholesome the "you're not alone" thing is. But that wasn't even the part that touched me the most.

For me, it was "it's okay to be fucked up." Of course, i'm not saying that Angel (or people in general) shouldn't change, neither is Husk. But often, accepting your situation is the first step towards a better life.

And not only accepting in the sense of acknowledging - because Angel already knows that his life is shitty. But what Husk does is telling Angel he doesn't have to constantly beat himself up about it. Right now, Angel's life is hard, but he's probably making it even harder by thinking stuff like: "God, why did i mess up my life so badly? It's all my fault. I'm such a useless idiot. I got myself into this, and now i can't even get out. I really should be able to get out. I should at least try. But i'm not strong enough, that's so pathetic." And so on. And that's completely normal in his situation. But now, Husk offers him to stop thinking about how different his life should be and why it isn't like that, and just accept his current situation. Saying "i'm not judging you for being a loser, and neither should you."

And then (after that great moment where Husk sings "Baby, that's fine by me", and Angel smiles and it's so sweet)... i think it's also about self-esteem. Because when Angel starts singing, he sounds like he's almost proud of being a loser. Which, again, has nothing to do with not wanting to change or glorifying a horrible life. It's just that in his current job, Angel constantly has to put up a show pretending he feels like the sexiest person in the world. And to protect himself, even in his free time, he pretends he loves his life - when in reality, he has started hating all of it more and more. Not just his life, but also himself. This ties back to the beating himself up thing i talked about before, but it goes so much deeper. When Husk encourages him to sing in "Loser, Baby", he offers Angel to be proud of who he is, for the first time in decades. As messed up as his life is, it must be so liberating to allow yourself to say: "Hell yeah, that's me, i'm like this, so what?" This allows him to reconnect to who he is, realize that his life is worth living, so it's also worth changing.

And another little thing: I think the "i've got an appetite for..." part is also important. Because a healthy changing process also includes accepting what you can't change about yourself. Yes, Angel has always wanted certain things, he will never turn into a chaste nun. That's okay. He doesn't have to become a completely different person in order to have a better life, he can live with his "sinful" traits and still get better.

And lastly, i wanted to point out that "Loser, Baby" is a great title/ main chorus line because it symbolises taking the words you use to beat yourself up and turn them into something positive - because others and yourself can love you even for your bad parts.

#finally got the motivation to make an analysis post again #is it because i'm supposed to write a job application?#...maybe #so please appreciate the time i wasted on this lol #hazbin hotel #huskerdust #hazbin angel dust #hazbin anthony #hazbin analysis #ramblings #loser baby #hazbin husk

64 notes · View notes

onebarofsoap · 8 months

Text

Hello everybody! I am starting an emergency c0missi0n f*ndra1ser for hurricane relief with KAON CITY MEDICS, with Swin's (@combaticon) permission.

Hurricane Idalia, a Category 3 hurricane, struck Florida's west coast earlier this week and left many unhoused folks missing a ton of stuff as it got washed away. Our plan is to use this f*ndra1ser to get them necessary supplies like blankets, hygiene supplies, water, flashlights, first aid kits, and more!

In total, our goal is $765.

Make a $20+ d0nation and you can get a drawing from me! All the information can be found in the post and in this google form. Please make all d0nations towards the team here:

K0--FI / CA$HAPP / V3NM0

You can contact me or ask any questions through tumblr, gmail (onebarofsoap1), or discord (soap_5324).

🥰💖Reblogs are appreciated! Please share this around! 💖🥰

#soap tries art #soap speech bubble #maccadam #hatsune miku #jjk #importante #the censoring looks so crazy good god. sorry everybody but it is what it is #anyway please share! i appreciate it very much #putting fandom tags. for. more reach.... lol

227 notes · View notes

askblueandviolet · 2 months

Note

hi im back from reading....with a couple minutes lf trying to reconnect to my wifi (cus it disconnected right after i was goign to make an ask,and wont..connect after)

ahEM!! BAI HE IS WITHHER PARENTS NOW?? AWWW, HOW DOES SHE LIKE THE HELMET⁉️⁉️

anyway, real, hershey is such s good dogn:3 pat pats for her yuhuh

ALSOALSOSOSLSLSLSKSDDM XIUYING RAAAHHH, HOWS BRO DOING⁉️⁉️ totally shoukd vidit the philippines soon hshhshs 😋😋😋

RAAAHHH IT WAS AMAZING READING THIS CHAPTERRR 😭😭 BRAVO, BRAVO,, so sorry if thid is somewhat long omg

throws another silly rock at macaculator

EEEEE HAGE A GREAT DAY‼️‼️🫶 OR EVENING IDK MAN

MASTER POST

Previous 💙💜

Next 💙💜

#lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid fanart #monkie kid #monkie kid fanart #lmk #lmk fanart #lmk mayor #monkie kid mayor #monkie kid macaque #lmk macaque #lmk baihe #lmk little girl #lmk hostess #monkie kid baihe #monkie kid hostess #monkie kid little girl #blue and violet #I think I've only vaguely referenced Xiuying's design on this blog #but here she is! in all her glory!!!#I mean she doesn't usually wear that outfit she usually wears a hoddie and jeans but she is on holiday mode #therefore she is making it her mission to become the pinnacle of a dad on holiday #wearing those tropical shirts and sunglasses #yeah the sunglasses are pineapples and so is her shirt- I just thought she would like pinapples- she's a pinapple on pizza guy by they way #anyways BAIHE HAS HER HAPPY ENDING INDEED #I... actually still need to figure out whether or not I want her to keep her powers #i left it vague on purpose because I literally couldn't decide what I wanted lmao #i am leaning towards letting her be free but idk lol #at least she has her parents and a helmet which is essentially just Macaque saying “here have this and please know I don't want you to die”#Hershey appreciates the pets #and Macaque stands by his point that the dog is being spoiled

42 notes · View notes

daz4i · 1 year

Text

oh wait i did promise a full dazai and nikolai comparison post didn’t i. time to deliver. no keep reading button, we’re clogging everyone’s dashboards like men. enjoy

clowning

so. i doubt i need to elaborate much on nikolai’s clowning - it’s very plainly put in the text, he along with other characters constantly call him a clown, and he obviously takes on a clown persona.

nikolai’s method of clowning is to take it to the extreme - everything he says sounds like a joke or pure nonsense, making you doubt everything that comes out of his mouth immediately, even when he’s saying the truth.

dazai’s is only slightly more subtle. i’m basing this on no longer human, given that so much of his character is based on yozo. dazai puts on a mask of a carefree, funny, lazy guy, especially to the agency, just like yozo does

his method of clowning is to seem genuine. pepper in just enough truth to make others believe him. seem reliable enough to make others trust him. but never showing his full self, so you should doubt everything he says

ultimately, the same outcome, done with different methods

so, we all agree they both do it. now, let’s analyze why. dazai’s is more obvious imo, so let’s start with him.

with the agency specifically, it makes sense, gotta appear nonthreatening n all, seem like a normal guy with absolutely no past in the mafia (at least at first). i’d also say it can be used to make his enemies underestimate him - no one expects the goofy silly guy to pull a knife on them, after all, and you definitely don’t expect him to be a mastermind.

on a deeper level, if we go back to the yozo train of thought, it’s also to protect himself. no one can leave you, hurt the deeper parts of your soul, attack you personally if they can’t figure out who you are. no one can get close enough to matter to you then get taken away, the way oda was.

nikolai’s reasoning is less grounded in canon or external works (that i know of), so feel free to disagree with that part (with any part of this post tbh.) but in my interpretation, he does it for multiple reasons:

same as dazai, not letting anyone close enough to get him to care. nikolai sees bonds as something chaining him down - he cares about fyodor and sees him as a friend, and that’s why he wants to kill him. if you see him, he will care about you, and he can’t have that. better to have the self inflicted cage of a mask than have the key in someone else’s hands, if you wanna be poetic about it.

chaos! a lot of what nikolai does is to subvert expectations, be illogical, to prove the existence of his free will. nothing more chaotic than a clown

to contrast dazai, rather than make his enemies underestimate him, nikolai’s intention is to make his teammates underestimate him. he’s trying to throw their suspicions off him - oh, he defied the plan fyodor set up? well, can’t blame him, he always does silly shit like that. look how crazy that guy is, obviously he can’t follow orders - so he can freely do what he wants and only have them catch up way later.

already, we see a lot of similarities, as well as opposites-within-the-same-action. let’s continue

death

tldr: both are supposedly willing to die, yet still avoid death.

dazai sure managed to survive a lot of suicide attempts, huh! weird how all of his on screen attempts - especially since oda’s death - have been using methods that are easily to survive, like drowning. that’s so strange guys i wonder why’s that (psst i wrote a whole post just about that already)

and nikolai sure did give a dramatic speech about how dying will set him free, very convincing! weird that he faked his death, then. hmmm.

granted, nikolai’s speech might’ve been The Page’s work, but tbf it does align with his views on this topic so i’d like to believe there was some truth there, just like there’s some truth in dazai’s suicide attempts - yes, they want to die, but... there’s more to be done first.

both of them seem to hold a high value in the act of dying, and both see it as being set free. both feel trapped in their own life - nikolai outright says so, that he feels caged inside his own head, and if you dig into dazai’s character song you see him describe life as a “never-ending today”. both see death as salvation from their situation, but won’t get down to achieving it.

this is actually a good place to transition to our next topic,

meaning

since i mentioned dazai’s character song, one thing he seems to focus on there is looking for meaning, or rather being frustrated that he hasn’t found one yet (he also brings up this internal conflict in the dark era, but the song solidifies it as relevant even in his current state). dazai tries so hard to find meaning, but can’t.

nikolai’s fixation on free will, i’d argue, is not quite a search for meaning, but rather a struggle to prove there is no greater meaning in life, in order to ease his own guilt. none of his murders matter at the end of the day... right? then why does he still feel this way?

ironically, both can find meaning in their bonds - dazai has many at this point, with oda being the main one he might’ve found meaning in before, and nikolai has fyodor - but this is scary. they’re not used to having meaning, to caring. and so we circle back to the clowning, to pushing people away, to wanting to kill fyodor, to the comfort and familiarity of no meaning.

guilt

like onions and ogres, clowns have layers. bear with me here.

on the surface, you’d expect them both to feel guilt for their horrendous acts. peel a layer, and it seems neither of them particularly does, otherwise they would stop doing it, you’d assume. peel back another layer, and... honestly, i think they do, but are just repressing it.

this is smth i get less from the text and more from their real life counterparts, tbh. going back to the yozo comparisons, he does outright say “i’ve lived a life filled with guilt” which. is very fair to expect to hear from our dazai. meanwhile the real life gogol straight up died because of his guilt. i don’t think asagiri would overlook stuff like that when turning them into characters.

nikolai also does outright tell atsushi he feels guilty for the atrocities he committed - though, pretends he didn’t mean it immediately after, putting back one of those layers we tried to peel.

going back to dazai’s song, it’s the “the tainted past, too, begone!” line that i feel is nodding to it. dazai obviously knows the things he’s done while in the mafia are wrong, seems like he knew while being in the mafia as well given his conversations with oda during the dark era. but this really does make it seem like he regrets it, imo.

they’re both repressing their guilt for the same reason they won’t die. there’s more important shit going on. dazai outright tells atsushi that wallowing in guilt is pointless, and we see him move forward and execute plans even if he’s still feeling guilty throughout, and even when he needs to do some dirty work to make them happen. nikolai is the same in that regard - he’s just hyperfocused on this goal of proving his free will, and guilt is another thing that’s keeping him caged, so he must break free from it. wallowing in it will simply be counterproductive.

sorry i gotta talk abt fyodor now

but it’s gonna be short i promise

so we’ve got this all knowing, unbeatable, super smart guy, right? anyway what if the only people we see outsmart him were 2 suicidal clowns. wouldn’t that be funny

so, it’s a bit tricky to call it “outsmarting” with dazai considering how their whole Thing is give and take that’s not going to end any time soon, but fyodor obviously views him as someone on his level so i’m counting that. he wouldn’t put this much effort into someone he didn’t think was less smart than him. and, he calls him a worthy chess opponent for a reason

nikolai did outsmart him, though. nikolai was supposed to die. nikolai wasn’t meant to survive the plan, let alone come to meursault and put fyodor in a death game when he could’ve escaped using the vampiric guard he planted in the prison instead. nikolai is throwing an unpredictable wrench in the plan of the guy who knows how everything is gonna turn out because humans are so predictable.

clearly they both affect him a lot, more than we see others have. both of them are the only ones so far we’ve seen get on the same level as fyodor

and, both of them are seen by fyodor. nikolai explicitly says fyodor is the only person who sees him, and dazai is seen because they are the same, on a certain level. fyodor understands them, which is why it’s even more impressive that they can outsmart him, imo

in conclusion

asagiri i am on my knees begging. make them interact properly please please please

fr tho, i’m curious if this means something. because this is a huge amount of similarities, especially when they’re not really related in any way and barely ever talked. does it mean anything?? how about nikolai being able to use his ability on dazai, does that mean anything????? asagiri please give me some answers i am asking so nicely

anyway. thank you for reading! lmk if i missed anything, or reblog with your own additions and analysis. if you disagree with anything i said, feel free to express that as well, just be respectful. hope i managed to infect you with my brainrot as well. have a great day :3!

#bungou stray dogs #bsd analysis #bsd osamu dazai #bsd nikolai gogol #nikozai #<- man idk. is this even a ship?#long post #dan rambles #please reblog this i worked hard .#this is probably the most organized post i made abt bsd so far #or in general lol 😭 better appreciate it

271 notes · View notes