#so yep! pretty big gap

[notafunkiller]

treat you better

Summary: Caught between playing the girlfriend of Bucky's younger brother and the unexpected allure of Bucky's genuine affection, you don't know what to do.

Pairing: (fake) boyfriend's brother!Bucky Barnes x female reader

Warnings: age gap (r is 26, Bucky is 38/39), teasing, pet names, language, no mention of y/n

Word Count: 3.7K

story masterlist

Bucky Barnes masterlist

A/N: This story will have around 4 parts, so this is just the beginning. And I also want to thank @marvelouslizzie and @lavenderhaze967 for their support!

Please, do not repost or translate without my permission!

It’s hard to ignore how loudly he chews or how some water drips down his chin as he drinks between bites. For someone educated well, he has no manners.

“Come on, eat faster. He’s gonna come any second.”

You drop your fork on the plate and give him a look. As if! “I am not gonna do anything like that.”

He is his brother, not the devil. And he actually seemed pretty nice when you met earlier. The fact that William is so scared is funny.

“You don’t ever listen to me.”

“I wonder why.” Your sarcastic answer gets a sigh out of him before he stands up, throwing a napkin on the plate.

“I’ll take a walk.”

“And? Do you want my approval?” You literally couldn’t care less what he does or doesn’t. He’s annoying.

“No, I told you in case he comes down...”

You can’t imagine dealing with this version of him for days, or however long The Devil decides to stay. You snort. “Go ahead, take a walk. Take three walks, I can handle myself.”

He leaves without saying anything else, and you smile, scrolling on your Instagram feed. Fucking finally!

You don’t know how your families considered this a good idea. You are close to hitting him every day, but it seems like things only become worse and worse. You just wish you could just run away and never come back.

“Do you mind if I sit here?”

You look up, jumping. It must be ridiculous to be so shocked since he’s the only one who could come here since William left. You let the phone down and wave to the chair in front of you.

“Please, this is your house.”

The Devil gives you a polite smile. Manners... at least one brother has them. “But I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“You won’t eat me, right?”

He gives you a look you can’t exactly decode, and that bothers you. You are good at reading people usually.

“No, love, I won’t eat you.” He sits down amused, and you stare at his arms as he reaches for the chicken plate without realizing. He’s... big.

“Bon appetit!” You smile.

“I didn’t say I won’t bite, though.”

You freeze, thinking he is flirting with you for a second. But it’s ridiculous, there’s no way. Everyone spoke so highly of him: how he is always serious, how he’d be against this whole arrangement. No way he’d flirt with his little brother’s girlfriend. “Is the chicken not enough for you?”

He laughs softly, and you can’t help but stare at him a little more. He shaved and has a small cut right under his chin. Jesus, he is really hot! The little dimple, the eyes and that nose...

“Do what do you do?”

“As in for work?”

“Yep.” He empathizes the p in a very childlike way, which makes you wonder even more how old he is. You should totally ask William later.

“I work for my parents’ company,” you whisper ashamed. You always hate when you say that out loud, but, somehow, it feels even more embarrassing now. You can feel his eyes on you, but you don’t look at him.

“What do you do there?”

“Basic HR work.”

“Is the payment that low?”

You snort. “What?”

“You sounded, so I assumed...”

“It is a little low, not gonna lie. But I mean, no nepo baby judgement…?” You hesitate because you realize you don’t remember his name. Fuck! You and your bad memory.

“What? Why are you blushing?” He leans in, placing his elbows on the table to get closer to you.

How horrible can this situation get?

“I just... can I ask something?”

“I don’t know, love, can you?”

You roll your eyes. You know what? He deserves it.

“What was your name again?”

He doesn’t seem surprised or bothered by your question.

“Full name? James Buchanan Barnes, but you can call me Bucky. Should I write it down in case you forget?”

He gently takes out a pen out of his front pocket and grabs your hand. You tremble a little as he starts to actually write his name on your wrist. The letters get a little smudged, but they’re still clear.

Holy fuck...

He’s warm, but not too warm, so you wait for him to let you go.

“Do you always carry pens around?”

“Only on special occasions.” He winks and gets back to eating, letting the pen on the table.

“How old are you?” You ask before you can change your mind as you keep staring at your wrist. He looks in his early 30s, and since he’s the oldest one, it would make sense.

“Didn’t Will tell you?”

You blush again. “You can see my memory isn’t the best.”

He sighs, suddenly shy and reserved, and you wonder if this is somehow a weak spot. But how would age be a weak spot for a man like this?

“Old.” He smiles. “Thirty-eight.”

You try not to look affected as your eyes drop instantly on his left hand. No wedding band.

And he notices.

“He didn’t tell you I’m single, either?”

You take a few slices of cucumber and eat them fast. “Why would he?”

“I’m his brother.”

You throat feels dry as you nervously swallow. “And I am his girlfriend...”

Bucky nods and immediately starts eating.

“That’s all?” You ask. “No threat not to hurt your brother? No background questions?”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-six.”

“I would have guessed twenty-five.”

You snort. “Really? I was told I look younger than that.”

Bucky shrugs in response. “I assumed you’ve been working for a while, and my brother likes them his age or older.” He pours himself a glass of water, and you watch him drink without any shame, not even caring if he notices. You’re already flushed, and he’s a good view.

“I guess I fit the standard.”

He bites his lip while placing the glass down and shakes his head. “Nope, actually you don’t, this is why it’s really interesting.” He smiles. “How did you two meet?”

“The office. He came with his... your dad and we met at an event,” you answer instantly. Your parents have already made up the story for you, and you had to practice it a few times to make it sound genuine, which was a real struggle.

“Was it love at first sight?”

You snort. “That doesn’t exist.”

“Attraction?”

You try to subtly take a deep breath and pray you’ll sound as convincing as you could. “Look, he seemed like a nice guy, good looking and smart. And he asked me out-”

“He asked you out?” His eyes widen in sheer astonishment. “He always waits for girls to ask him out.”

This is when you snap. What is this? An interrogation?

“And? He asked me out. People make exceptions sometimes, Mr...” you pretend you forgot his name again before you look at your wrist. “Bucky.”

“I understand. My bad, didn’t want to make you mad.”

You puff because his tone in everything but apologetic. “I am not mad!”

“No, obviously. Just like you didn’t pretend you don’t remember my name a second ago.”

You bite your cheek annoyed. “Do you not have something more important to do than this?” You gesture between you two.

Not a smart move, but you are exposed anyway.

“But this,” he copies your hands moves. “is fun. And I am just getting to know my little brother’s girl. Since we’ll live together and stuff.”

What?

“You plan on staying?”

Bucky raises his eyebrows. “Of course.” He smiles. “Where is William? I want to know more about how he asked you out.”

*

You can’t say you’ve been avoiding William, but you’re not necessarily enjoying his company. Since Bucky came, he’s been like a bomb, scared, annoyed, always suggesting you to move in his room because his brother will notice, but you brushed him off constantly.

Unfortunately, you can’t tell him to go away now, too, as he drinks coffee in his gazebo.

“Do you want to go out? For a walk or lunch,” he asks, his voice carrying a hopeful note 

“No, thanks.” You don’t intend to sound rude, but it comes out like this anyway.

His face falls, a subtle disappointment etched across his features, but he tries to hide it by taking a sip of his coffee. Instantly, a pang of guilt hits you.

“Look, I’m sorry, I just... I just don’t feel like going out.” With you.

“Well, you should at least try to make an effort, we should be seen together, you know?” he remarks, his tone slightly reproachful. You nod, realizing he must be also pressured by his family the same way yours pressures you.

“I understand. I assume they put pressure on you.”

He sighs. “Of course they do, but like I think it’s a good idea.”

“What’s a good idea?”

You know it’s Bucky not only by the way William stiffens, but you can also easily recognize his voice, and it’s hard to ignore how attractive you find it.

“To go out more often,” you quickly say, avoiding his eyes. “I told him he should have fun since work has been stressful.”

“What about you?” He casually drops on the chair between you two and takes a bite from his sandwich.

“What about her?” William asks, , his tension evident in his voice.

“Don’t you need some stress relief?”

“I’m alright.” You finally look properly at him as you speak. He’s wearing a white tank top and his disheveled hair adds to the casual allure. He’s so well-proportioned...

“Good.” He smiles and turns to William. “What’s wrong, punk?”

“Just work, you know? Business, you wouldn’t understand.”

You and Bucky snort.

“Sure, buddy, I wouldn’t understand.”

“Are you having siblings time? Should I leave?” you ask, hoping for a positive response.

“Babe, no need.”

You try not to cringe at the way the word babe sounds coming from him and force yourself to give him a polite smile.

“Please, babe, no problem.” You stand up waving, toward Bucky. “Bye.”

Their brotherly time didn’t last long, though. You take a short shower, and as you finish dressing up, you hear a knock on your door.

“You can come in.”

You expect to see William's face when the door cracks, but no, it's not him at all.

“Hi.”

You freeze.

“H-hi.”

Fuck, what will you tell him now?

“Trouble in paradise?”

“What? No. Uhm...” you look around. “What happened?”

“You sleep here, right?”

“Yep.”

He leans his back against the wall, and you can't help but notice how good he looks in those shorts. Jesus, it's like you haven't seen a man in your life.

“Interesting.” He laughs.

“What’s so funny?” You cross your arms, annoyed. He thinks he’s superior or what?

“You are telling me you two have been together for less than six months and you sleep here?”

The judgement and amusement in his voice piss you off even more, as if the situation you are in isn’t bad enough.

“Yes, and?”

“And?” Bucky comes suddenly closer to you. “Are you seriously asking that?”

“Yes! I don’t see what’s your fucking problem. How does where we sleep concern you?”

“Can’t a man be curious?” 

Fuck your curiosity!

“What if we didn’t wanna sleep together now and wait... does that make us less of a couple?” You let out your anger by screaming at him. You don’t think you’ve said anything more ridiculous than that because, sure, you respect everyone who wants to wait, but that’s not you. There's no way you'd get engaged or marry a guy without knowing what your sex life would be like. No way!

“I didn’t say that, but I know my brother, and he is not this type of person.”

You let a deep breath, finding it hard to take your eyes off his lips.

“What if I am?”

He doesn't answer you, simply moving his right hand to his back pocket and taking out a small perfume, then handing it to you. "I think this belongs to you."

Shit!

“Yes, thank you!”

“So you slept in my bed.”

The way he says it makes it sound like you had sex with him or something. But it still leaves you breathless.

You take the perfume from his hand. “Don’t worry, I changed the sheets.”

“See you at dinner, love.” He snorts, turning a little more toward you before opening the door. “You got taste, though. It smells wonderful.”

*

Maybe it’s the hunger or the lack of sleep. Otherwise, why would this make you angry?

“You look very well.” You roll your eyes as you imitate him before taking a sip of your water. Fuck him for coming here and disturbing you. It was enough you see him every morning and after work.

You hear a knock, then the door opens as soon as you put your bottle down. He didn’t even wait.

“Hi, love. How are you?” A few heads turn toward him and then you, and you groan.

“I’m well, thanks. Why are you here?”

Bucky shakes his head. “This is not a nice welcome.” And then he notices everyone. “Hello.”

You hear a few ‘hi’s, but he only focuses on you.

“Who are you waiting for?” You ask, and your thoughts immediately dart to Dana. He complimented her earlier, after all.

“My dad.”

You roll your eyes. “Fine, keep it a secret. I don’t care.”

“I’m serious.” He snorts. “What has gotten you so worked up? Did you eat your chocolate bar today?”

You puff, trying to keep your annoyance under control. “What’s this question? Are you my mom?”

You can't lie, though. The fact that he noticed your daily chocolate bar ritual makes you happy. Today, however, you didn't have time.

“I can be your dad.”

That makes you gasp.

“Bucky!” you whisper, and he leans in. “We are working here.”

“And?”

“And go away, you disturb us.”

Bucky rolls his eyes and gets behind your back, dragging your chair away from the desk.

“Barnes!”

Jessica laughs behind you. “Such an older brother behavior.” she says casually, and you frown. You don’t want people to consider him your older brother. Well, it’s obvious why they do, but it still bothers you.

“I need you to come with me.”

You sigh. “Don’t you see I am busy?”

“Come onnn!”

You tell Jessica you’ll be right back and manage to take your phone with you before Bucky drags you by the arm to the hallway. Dana looks up, surprised, but this time he doesn’t even turn his head toward her, guiding you to his dad’s office. Dana looks up, surprised, but this time he doesn't even turn his head toward her, guiding you to his dad's office.

“You brought me here to be your babysitter? You are 38, not 8. I am sure you can wait patiently for your daddy.”

He closes the door, and you try to control your breathing. Why does he make you blush so much? It’s been one month since you two met, and he still has this power over you.

“You have a big sassy mouth, love, that is for sure.”

You cross your hands. “And?”

“And what?”

“You won’t even deny you brought me here cause you were bored?”

“Nope. Why would I?”

And there he is, getting closer to you little by little. You have to fight the urge to step back.

“Instead you talk about how big my mouth is...” you murmur and he snorts.

“Quite a big mouth for someone with thin lips.”

Well, that is a low blow. You don’t even have thin-thin lips.

“You’re an asshole.” You try to leave quickly, but he stops you instantly, realizing that made you mad.

“I didn’t mean it in a bad way at all. You have a spark.”

“I am working. I do actually work, Bucky. It doesn’t matter this is my family’s company.” You try not to yell, but it’s hard. “I get you’re bored, but-”

“I am sorry.”

“For what?” You voice is a whisper, as you’re still trying to calm down. You’re surprised he apologized so fast.

“For being like a douche. It’s the opposite, I wanted your company because you are really nice and smart. I love our conversations. And you having a big mouth means to me you have an opinion and limits.” He takes your hand and squeezes it.

As he speaks, you can't help but feel a mixture of warmth and confusion. His sincerity catches you off guard, and the tension between you begins to shift. Maybe, just maybe, there's more beneath the surface of his teasing and provocation.

You nod. Maybe you overreacted, he never said anything offensive to you. And you appreciate his company in that house.

“It’s okay, I understand. I am surprised you are here, though.”

He doesn’t let go of you hand, so you don’t either.

“He said he has an offer for the office renovation.” He shrugs. “I cannot refuse without talking first. It wouldn’t be fair.”

You want to answer him, tease and maybe fish for more, but you hear the voices right outside the office and you let go of his hand immediately. As if it burned you, as if you were doing something forbidden.

William steps inside first, followed by his dad and your dad, surprisingly.

Bucky immediately gives you a look and takes a step back.

“You came!” His father welcomed him before turning to you. “Thanks for bringing him to my office.”

You realize this is your clue to go and you slowly walk to the door, intentionally ignoring your father. What shocks you is William grabbing your hand, the same hand Bucky touched before, and kissing your cheek.You realize this is your cue to go, and you slowly walk to the door, intentionally ignoring your father. What shocks you is William grabbing your hand, the same hand Bucky touched before, and then kissing your cheek.

“Thanks, babe.”

You have to clench both of your fists not to punch him in the face, refusing to answer him. You don’t know what bothers you more: the fact that he touched you so casually and called you babe again or that he did this shit in front of your families, and more important his brother.

You feel Bucky’s eyes all over your back and face and you can’t help but turn to look at him. He’s expressionless.

You shake your head. What did you expect?

You get back to your office a little grumpy and upset. Jessica immediately asks you if you’re okay, and you brush it off. Fuck your family, fuck Bucky, and fuck his brother.

But the meeting is surprisingly short since you have Bucky back at your desk fifteen minutes later.

You just can’t take a break, can you?

“What?”

“Shouldn’t you have lunch?” He looks around to emphasize his words, and you roll your eyes. You know everyone left but you.

“I have to finish a few tasks. Why?”

“Your boyfriend left the meeting halfway through cause he was hungry.”

You almost gag. You’ve never hated that word more in your life, but you can’t let him know that.

“And?”

“What do you mean and? Why are you not having lunch with him?”

“Because I have tasks to do!” You snap, irritate, while looking him in the eye. You obviously don’t want to talk about it, but he continues, seemingly unfazed.

“Is he gonna bring you some food?”

“No, we didn’t even talk about it. Can you leave me alone now?”

You are so close to crying for no fucking reason. You can’t let anyone see you like this.

“Prick! He should have waited for you.” He strokes his chin as he speaks, clearly annoyed with his brother. “Want to come with-”

“I’m fine. Had my chocolate bar.” You interrupt him, your voice steady despite the emotional storm within. Finally, he takes the hint.

“Okay, love, I understand. I’ll leave you alone. See you home.” He smiles politely and leaves, giving you the space you need.

Alone in your office, you let out a shaky breath, your hands covering your face as you start sobbing. It’s really touching how understanding Bucky is, even if he’s teasing you. It’s a precious reminder that, amidst the chaos, there's someone who actually cares about your well-being.

*

You wait for William to return from his lunch break, and as soon as you see him, you drag him to his office quickly

“Easy! It hurts.”

“Good, it’s supposed to hurt!”

“What did I do?” He genuinely asks.

“You fucking touched me. You kissed my cheek. Did I allow you?”

“What?” He raises his eyebrows. He doesn’t remember seeing you so angry before.

“I asked you when I gave you permission to put your hands on me!”

“I’m supposed to be your boy-”

“But you are not my fucking boyfriend! You don’t have the option to touch me unless I let you by telling you that you can. And you don’t even have to display a shitty facade because guess what? He doesn’t care.”

“Look, I didn’t mean to...”

“You didn’t mean to what? Get in my space? Take advantage of the situation?” The bitterness in your tone echoes your frustration. “You’re just a man, that’s what you do.”

“Not all-”

You laugh humorlessly, not even a little surprised. “Not all men, right? Well, I heard that one before. But you are officially in all-men category.”

You leave like a storm, letting the door open, and before you can get back to your desk, Dana calls your name.

“Hi, what happened?” You try to sound calm.

“You got a delivery and a note.” She hands them both to you and you can’t help but ask:

“A note?”

Who writes notes anymore?

“Yes.”

You take them from her desk, but you don’t enter your office. You want to read the note first, without Jessica’s eyes on you.

If you don’t eat, I’m gonna punish you... with my presence. So think twice before refusing :)

You almost cry again right there in the middle of the hallway. Fuck him! Just fuck him!

How are you supposed to stop thinking about him when he does this?

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #boyfriend's brother!bucky barnes #fake dating #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes au #marvel fanfic #marvel fanfiction #bucky fanfiction #bucky barnes smut #my stories #my fanfics #sebastian stan

[bucknastysbabe]

Handsome Devil • C. Cole

Rating: Explicit

Word count: 4.3k of uhhh I love this little guy lets break him

Tags: PEGGING, prostate massage, anal sex, oral (f and m! receiving) femdom, modern au, college au, Criston is actually a little Baby Girl but pretends to be Big Man, like he’s a touch-starved needy SLUT, enemies to lovers, fast burn, Degredation and dirty talk, feminization, alcohol use, Alicent is a sad lesbian and I stand by this, man tears, subby spacey boy, Alicent is DONEEEE

Taglist: @arcielee @bambitas @moncherrii @starogeorgina @valeskafics @aemonds-holy-milk @targaryenbarbie @sugarpoppss2 @lovelykhaleesiii @thought--bubble @fairysluna

The more you learned about the enigmatic Criston Cole, the less you wanted to know. Mainly because his bravado was a bluff you could only seem to see. He listened to those idiotic chauvinist podcasts. You’d almost asked Alicent why she brought the asshole around so often.

But you knew. They both got dumped by Rhaenyra, who was moving on as they stewed. Her new man was quite hot. Poor Ali, she was the epitome of sad sapphic poetry. Stuck in the ways of her upbringing— a limbo of sorts. Still, a dear friend whom you tried to uplift and support, especially after the breakup.

Meanwhile, she was getting closer to Criston. Who you had remained to have a normal conversation with. Usually, you’d argue with him until he would yell or storm out— over topics such as tampons being taxed or the gender pay gap. Alicent would merely ignore you two, pouring over a book, headphones in.

The prick was a waste of good looks in your opinion. There had to be a chink in his proverbial armor. Perhaps something under the puffed chest and nice clothes. Social media didn’t turn up much besides his frat and different dates every day of the week. He had multiple retweets of meninism or whatever the fuck incels called it these days.

The only observation you could draw from his socials and continuous annoying existence was he couldn’t keep a girlfriend. You weren’t going to reach out to Rhaenyra either.

You’d have to test your theory next time he was over with Ali. That was nearly always if he wasn’t out being a “frat star” or had class. You heard his clipped tones and her replies as you lay in bed. You’d have to get up and say hello. There was an ongoing competition to who could give the least excited greeting after all.

“Oh, you again.”

“Yep,” he replied, popping the ‘p’. You narrowed your eyes and shouldered past his stupidly good-looking body. You could feel the heat of his gaze follow your frame to the refrigerator.

“Care for something Cole?”

“Sparkling water. Anyways have you heard about this new-“

You tuned Criston’s impressively sexist commentary out, handing the sparkling water to him and landing a smack to a pert ass. It was a heavy handed smack— like the prick was some poor girl at a party. Alicent already had her headphones in, typing away, pointedly ignoring you two. Criston spluttered and gaped, brows furrowing.

“What the fuck was that for?”

His brows were pulled tight and cheeks flushed. ‘Fuck yes!’ you thought, this might be ammo. Shrugging you stated, “I dunno, figured you talk so much about these horrid men you’d want to be treated like one of their ‘bitches’, yes?”

Criston hissed, “You’re so dramatic, don’t touch me.” You couldn’t help but smirk at his trembling hands on the countertop, drink left untouched. A certain stagnancy was in the air. Making a faux expression of concern you cooed at him.

“Oh, my bad, did alpha sigma male chad Criston get his pretty ass slapped?”

He gasped, actually gasped out loud.

You changed gears, “I mean, someone needs to fuck all those emotions outta’ you. Such a whiny thing. None of your frat bros take it out on that sweet ass? Back when you were a freshman? C’mon you were soooo twinky then.”

Criston’s bravado had shattered quite more than you anticipated. His stark white knuckles on the marble counter trembled, a red flush appearing down the tan neck. He ran an exasperated hand through his curls, voice weak, “I’ve done nothing ah-of the sort. What game are you playing here? I only fuck girls.”

“The hot gossip was that Rhaenyra had you on all fours, like a sweet pup.”

He chugged the sparkling water, sweat beading on his forehead. Placing it down with a shaking hand Cole warbled, crossing his arms defensively “Th-that’s lies, fuck off, really, you’re into that degeneracy?” You laughed and sauntered off with your own drink, pausing at your bedroom door.

“If you need a good fucking, my door is open, I’d give that mouth of yours something to suck on.”

Criston visibly shivered and swallowed, adjusting his pants. Narrowing his eyes, he snatched his laptop and walked away. You blew a kiss, closing your door. Either Criston would take the bait or continue on into misery. You had a feeling it would only be a matter of time.

Ali and Criston were trashed from her sorority’s formal and you said you’d be the designated driver. You had completely forgotten until Ali sent a text, “met a hot chick walking to her dorm, Cris still needs a ride. Pleaseeeee🥺🥺🥺🥺” For the sake of Alicent getting her pussy ate for once you told her you’d pick up bozo. Which he eagerly got into your car, still taking pulls from his bottle of dark liquor.

You stared in abject horror at his disheveled state, particularly the way his pinched look was absent. Criston Cole was shitfaced to say the least. His eyes were hazy and reddened, a loose way in which he held himself, none of that tightness. Criston sat forward, whining, “Change the music, something else, ugh!”

“We have a 30-minute drive so it better be good Cole.” He clumsily plugged his phone in…and out came the wailing tones of Morrissey. You did a double take— wondering if Criston Cole was truly a fan of the ultimate sad sack music? You loved the band too but this felt...strange. Criston laid back and sang along, stretching his legs, dark hair flowing in the wind.

“The Smiths huh?”

Dark eyes regarded you slowly. He mumbled, “The- the songs, they get me. It’s s’good. I’ve heard you listen to them.”

“Yeah they’re a favorite of mine actually,” you admitted. How come he couldn’t talk to you about that? You scoffed, he was such a fucking weirdo. Criston smiled goofily, looking over at you. He laughed, “You’re being nice to me!”

“You’re not being a raging dick head, of course, I’ll return the favor Criston.”

He grinned some more, eyes out the window, singing along to the lyrics. His smile faded but he continued to softly murmur along.

And I’m not happy and I’m not sad.

“You hanging in there okay? Not feeling sick?”

“Nah, m’fine, didn’t really hit it heavy until later. When we had to dance and shit.” You smirked, prodding a broad shoulder. Criston snorted, “I don’t like to dance unless I’m properly loaded, too awkward.”

You laughed, “I love to dance! It’s not all business.”

He took another swig and rasped, “Trust me, it’s quite awful, I can deal with that shitty frat grinding for a bit, no finesse in that. You won’t catch me fist pumping around.”

You decided drunk Criston was entertaining. Fishing through the car’s compartments you asked “Wanna smoke?” He groaned in delight, “Fuck yes, Ali hates it.” You lit up one and handed it to him, suppressing the shiver at the soft touch of his warm fingertips.

You smoked along with him, belting Handsome Devil.

I say, I say, I say, I crack the whip! And you skip but you deserve it— you deserve it deserve it deserve it.

He giggled a bit, pretty face exclaiming the innuendo filled lyrics. Cole unbuttoned his stiff blazer and threw the last dregs of his cigarette out. You softly glanced over, shaking your head at this strange version of the bane of your existence. He raised a thick brow and questioned “What? You’re looking through me again.”

“You’re a fun drunk,” you laughed with eyes on the road.

“I’ve been told that I don’t know- it’s weird,” he murmured.

“It’s not weird. You don’t need a drink to lighten yourself up,” you playfully rolled your eyes, “Or be a raging chauvinist.”

Criston narrowed his eyes, lightly shoving you by the shoulder. You giggled and yelped, “Hey- easy there- I’m driving!” Criston snorted, “Then drive and don’t insult me. Also, I’m taking Ali’s bed, better than that shit they give me at the frat house.”

Criston is alone in the apartment with you. That would be a first. You merely nodded with a weak, “Aye-aye captain.” He asked for another cigarette, singing and smoking. You would peer at his relaxed face and shoulders, smiling softly.

It would be back to normal come morning.

He was a bit drunker than you expected upon arrival. Criston stumbled a bit closing the car door, clumsy footsteps leading to the stairs. You followed along, getting out your key and snickering. Cole smelled good; a mix of cologne, cigarettes, and expensive bourbon. You ignored the way he was towering over you.

You unlocked the door and let him in, turning back to lock it again. As you twisted again, the brunette’s big hands and lips were on your face. His voice cracked as he moaned, “Want you so fucking bad, c’mon baby, c’mon.” You’d love to indulge him but the man was wasted.

Gently removing yourself from him you shook your head to state, “Criston. You’re drunk. Maybe sleep this off a little before making moves.” He frowned, puppy eyes shining pitifully. He huffed, running a hand through his wind-blown hair. “Right, right, m’sorry, I just.” He began to walk away.

“You just what?”

Criston shot you the most pitiful look. The type of look that made you want to baby him. Then make him cry. You leaned toward babying him right now. Criston untied his laces, voice sulky, “You intimidate me so I just act like a prick. I thought since the other day you might be interested.”

You sighed at the pouting man.

“Criston, darling, I really wish we didn’t have this moment when you’re fucked up. No funny business but you can cuddle with me tonight. Since you look like a sad puppy.”

He seemed to brighten a bit, apologizing, “I- I know! And don’t call me that.”

Rolling tired eyes, you moved into your bedroom while stripping. He stared at you merely clad in underwear and a thin tank. Maybe you could play around with him in the morning? Alicent will want to play sleepover at least two more nights before the inevitable breakdown.

Criston eventually shuffled in, wearing his briefs and dumb little argyle socks. He climbed clumsily onto the bed, you chiding, “Under here dummy, here!” He snickered, warm body sidling to your own. A tan arm wrapped its way around your waist, the man like a damn Koala the way he plastered himself to you.

He pressed a few little kisses before getting batted on the head. Criston groaned before snuffling, “You’re so strange, God, make me feel goddamn crazy.” His legs intertwined with your own, lips smirking against your nape.

“So does this mean you aren’t always…so sexist?” you asked.

He didn’t reply but you knew the answer. Sleep reached the pair of you easily, especially poor drunk Criston. He’d be alright after some breakfast. The man laced his fingers with yours, dreaming of happy things.

You awoke with a very hard dick slotted between your ass cheeks. Criston still had a death grip on you— inky curls tickling your face. Raising a brow you took inventory of the situation. The man was not awake. But he was groaning and rutting against your ass.

This should be good.

“Criston- uhhh- Criston!,” you yelped. Brown eyes opened wide, his cute face half red and curls adorably sleep-mussed. He retracted himself in a flail of limbs, apologizing profusely. He seemed to be getting more frantic until you put a hand on his surprisingly still-hard dick.

Criston’s wide eyes flicked down to your hand and back up to your dead serious face. He gulped, “I- uh- enjoyed last night. Sorry.” Holding back a laugh, your hand tightened a little on his girth, straining the dark fabric. The man was bigger than you thought, especially after all that horrid talk.

He whimpered a little, eyelids fluttering, dark lips falling open. You questioned the man “Well, Ali won’t be here for a bit. Maybe I can make good on my promise Hm?” Another whimper graced your ears. Criston whined softly, “Please, yes, please.”

You immediately straddled him, Criston groaning, remaining pliant. Caressing his cheek you asked “How’s the hangover? Maybe some breakfast and water first? I’ll be a good little housewife and make it for you.” He scoffed, lips turning up a hair, “I always thought you had it in you. Sure.”

You ignored his comments while making some French toast. Soon you’d have the man crying and shaking, Criston could cling to his manhood while he ate. Immediately after— you two had climbed back into bed, you atop his slim hips, the tank top was far gone.

His big hands greedily pawed at your tits, Criston lapping into your mouth. You had reached around to curl your fingers in slightly overlong hair, moaning into his mouth. You’d been lazily rutting your hips against his cock, enjoying the man trying to cut off his moans.

What was he going to do when you had two fingers in his ass playing with his prostate?

You smirked and pulled back, him chasing you forward, brows pinching. Sliding both of your palms down his chest you cooed, “Lay back, I got you, sweetheart.” Criston fell back like a chopped tree, dark eyes looking up. You inched down tan skin until you sat between his thighs, patting his hips so you could get his underwear off. His adorably soaked fucking briefs.

“You’re excited hm? All wet for me?”

Criston shivered, thighs twitching as he bit his bottom lip, swallowing audibly. You eased off his underwear, fighting back laughter as you threw them to the side. It was the reverse of what usually happened in bed for the man— you knew that. His cock was flushed and gorgeous as it slightly dribbled pre onto olive skin.

You hummed in excitement, laying on your belly as you took his length in hand. Criston’s stomach twitched as he breathed in sharply, face agonized. You immediately lowered your head to the slit and laved off the pre, eyes coming up to meet his.

“Oh fucking…fuck,” he muttered, hands fisting in the comforter. He was holding back— big time. You would get Criston to unwind soon. You felt the poor baby didn’t know what was hitting him. Swallowing down the head of his cock you rolled his balls with your other hand, making the man groan and twitch again.

You bobbed your head in a familiar rhythm, making sure to drool all over his cock, the wetter the better. Coming up to flick your tongue at the frenulum or his sensitive tip had more spit rolling down to his balls and Criston throwing his head back to moan.

You’d try a little stimulation first before shocking the man with the anal question. While still sucking, the hand holding his balls crept back to shove two fingers up into that sensitive thin skin. You felt him from the other side, that hard gland was a bit swollen. Good god, had the guy not cum in days?

Criston’s entire demeanor shifted as you stroked his taint. His legs subtly widened, stomach sucking in as he let out the tiniest little whine. You pulled off his cock immediately, still stroking as you needled, “Crisssston, you like me playing with your special spot? Spreading your legs for me like a slut.”

He whimpered and a hand came up to his head as if to hide his eyes. Cole managed to reply after heaving a couple of times. The man moaned, “You- you can’t! Ohmygod s’fucking good- no!”

Kissing his trembling hips you kept massaging and stroking, murmuring in a more gentle tone “It’s okay sweetheart, it’ll be our little secret, I think you’ll feel good if you let me play some more. Really milk you dry. You want that baby?”

He moaned long and loud, cock slightly spitting onto his messy stomach. You grinned, watching Criston unravel by the second. He was a goddamn princess, wanting to be babied and loved on. He babbled, “Please yes— don’t tell anyone please I want it so so so bad please!”

You smiled at him, pressing lips to his hipbone again, shushing his pleading. This was going to be a fun ride for your new toy. You eased your fingers back, instructing Cole to bend his legs, he huffed and immediately followed the order.

It took a lot of petting and hushing until you’d breached his tight rim. You had to get up and grab lube when Criston started to ramble and tighten in apprehension. He was looser around your fingers but still wound tighter than a bowstring.

Every breath was a soft little noise, his dark orbs nervously flicking down to watch. You slipped your middle finger along the pointer, sitting flush up against his thighs for comfort. Watching his face you fingered deeper, fingers awkwardly searching for his prostate. You knew you’d found it when he jolted and shouted abruptly, tensing up.

He mewled like a cute little slut when you dragged your fingers across the gland, legs tightening around your hips before he arched and spread wider for you. Cooing in surprise you remarked, “Good boy, yesss, spreading your legs for me like a sweet baby.”

Criston seemed to lose more control at your words, crying wordlessly and writhing as he was worked over. His hands grasped and held at your waist, nails digging in just so. You grinned and put more pressure on him. He responded easily, shuddering and whining as his cock leaked more and more.

“Please, oh my god, please more, more, touch me!”

You leaned over his trembling body, lips ghosting over his drooling ones, practically fucking him with your fingers. Criston was sloppy as he pressed swollen lips against yours, tongue desperately lapping inside, moaning all the while. Snickering at him only had him whine and try harder, brain slowly oozing out of his ears with every rough jab of your digits.

You breathed when he did, softly demanding, “You’re so damn needy Criston, come for me and loosen up pretty baby.” Swiping a lazy hand across the mess of his sensitive stomach had Cole gasping and falling apart whimpering. His trembling hands slapped to the bed as you felt his ass tighten around your fingers, cock flexing as he spilled all over his stomach.

Criston dissolved into tears, blabbering, “I-I’m still cumming, ah, mmm, I’m s-still cumming!” You smirked as you dragged across his sweet spot again, forcing another whiny sob and gush of essence out. He was writhing again, back arching to figure out whether to escape or fuck back onto your digits.

“Goodness. You’ve made a mess of yourself. Attention whore, you just needed to be coddled and loved on. Stupid little pet,” you drawled.

“Mhm, mhm, yes!,” Criston groaned, “A fucking whore.”

“You want something bigger in your ass honey? Since you’re my whore?”

His eyes rolled a little, you having to hold his cheek to get the man’s full attention. Criston stared at you with wide eyes, mouth fumbling around a response. You slid your fingers out of him gingerly, relocating to a nearby shirt, wiping your hand off.

Criston breathed, “God oh- uh- God, yes, yes I want it.”

He blinked in shock when you were back between his thighs, looming over his already used body. The polka-dotted harness and strap-on cock were secured. Criston had been quiet and pliant while you got ready, hand rubbing his achy cock, squirming and softly sighing in need. You tittered at him in sympathy, poor baby's dick had not wilted since the beginning of this excursion.

You fisted the strap with a lubed hand, smiling at Criston's little noises and trembling. Off a look alone, one would think he was either a virgin or a nympho. Sliding your non-lubed palm up his inner thigh had Criston whine deep in his chest, dark lashes fluttering across reddened cheeks. He slurred softly "M'ready, unnh, be gentle?"

Rubbing soothing circles into his lean thigh you hummed, honey dripping from your words, "Don't have to worry about a thing sweetie, I've got you. You're gonna love it I promise." Criston nodded, puppy eyes trained on you, his hands slithering to your hips to grip the flesh.

You rubbed the tip of the blunt strap against his loosened ass, inching in enough to pop the tip. Criston’s breath drew tight, eyes wide, fear flitting across his features. You shoved both of your thighs up under his, stroking tan flanks while murmuring, “Relax, s’okay baby, jus’ us Criston, relax.”

He nodded with a strangled noise, the silicon cock sliding in halfway, you laying down atop Criston. You traced a hand across his stubbled cheek to dark hair, kissing eager lips. Cole opened for you with a hopeless moan, then a cry as you jerked your hips— the fake dick all the way inside now. You whispered between kisses, “Mm- there we go- good boy- takin’ me all the way like that.”

“Uh-huh,” he garbled out, pretty eyes rolling.

His bigger arms had wrapped around your back, leaving your lower half to fuck him in a shallow rhythm, grazing his sensitive sweet spot. You had one arm up and in Criston’s hair, the other holding his hip as you fucked him. Moans fell out of his swollen mouth on every thrust, his legs flopping between tightening and falling loose.

“Aw, baby, you feel good? You being my good whore Criston?”

Criston sobbed, rutting back onto your dick and wrapping long legs around your waist. He slurred some nonsense as you fucked into him harder, angling downward to hit his prostate. Soon you struck it again, the sweet baby between your legs crying and wailing, kissing and holding you all the while.

You idly wondered if the neighbors could hear Criston being thoroughly used and broken down into mush.

He panted, “Oh, god god god, oh baby, m’gonna cum again!”

“Yeah priss? Gonna cum from having a dick in your slutty pussy?”

Criston trembled and made the most pitiful noise, blabbering and kissing frantically as his arms tightened, “Fuck! Yes!” You grinned and returned the needy little pecks, clapping your hips against his ass, watching his cock leak and swell once again. He’d probably have the orgasm of his life soon. Striking Cole deep began the fire, and then your words set him aflame, burning up as he came with another wail.

He impossibly tightened around you, cum flooding your stomachs as he whimpered, cried, and carried on like the needy little thing he was. Criston sobbed, “Pl-pl-ease don’t ever stop-p! S’go-od! Ohmygod m’all yours, only yours, forever!” You grinned and eased out of him, unclipping the strap-on so you could coddle your whiny toy.

“Such a cute baby, did so well, hmm, you needed to cum huh priss?”

Criston nodded into your neck, not wanting to let go. He asked in a tiny voice “Lemme be yours?” Stroking his slightly sweaty hair you replied, “Sure babes, just remember who blew your mind right here. You’re mine now.” He let out a soft noise, nodding pliantly, nosing and kissing your smooth skin. If you could picture it, hearts were just appearing over the man.

You’d have to talk to him again when he wasn’t a submissive mess— but Criston seemed quite eager to be petted and called pretty. Fucking Princess. You held back your laughter as the thought bubbled up. He was so damn clingy right now you could pull out a purse and he’d crawl into it, or if you had a leash? Criston Cole would definitely be excited.

He just needed to be trained up a little, s’all.

Alicent was tired. She had met a nice girl for once, but she couldn't go shack up for a week as much as she wanted to. Criston and her 'froomie' had been radio silent. The redhead feared they may have killed each other. She gently keyed into the tiny apartment and slunk in, eyes darting around.

"That's good, ah, good boy!" came the cry of Alicent's roommate. She clapped a hand over her mouth, eyes widening in horror. Alicent wanted to melt into the floor. Dear bestie had one of her 'toys' over. Alicent could maybe duck and scramble her way into her room-- from the noises, it sounded like she was receiving some oral attention.

Ali dropped to her knees and ignored the moaning and slick noises. A deeper voice moaned something, Alicent's roommate responding, "Oh shush prissy, there's no one here. You're just being paranoid." The Hightower girl paused again, crawling behind the loveseat. The noises of very...excited cunnilingus ramped back up. She made the horrid choice to peak out before making the final cross.

Criston 'I don't eat pussy' Cole was on his knees. Eating the pussy of his mortal enemy, Alicent's roommate. Quite enjoyed it from the way he had a hand shoved down his sweats. How long had they been at it? It hit Alicent that the whole apartment reeked of marathon fucking. She could not believe this. Sure they had lowkey sexual tension but this?

Alicent scrambled across to her room, eyes forward and praying no one would notice.

"OH MY GOD- NOnONO! Christ!"

"Oh shit sorry Alicat! I didn't hear you come in! He's trained now!"

Alicent stood behind her closed door, hand over her helplessly smiling mouth. Oh my god, she couldn't be serious right now. Criston Cole broke in as the roomie's toy while she was gone. Hell must have frozen over. She laughed, Criston's miserable voice echoing from the living room. Alicent had to get away from the door so he would not hear her losing her mind. Good for them, good for them!

#hotd fanfic #hotd smut #ser criston cole #criston cole x reader #ser criston cole x reader #modern au #college au #sub!criston #we pegging today #he’s a silly little baby

[judysxnd]

Hi, could we get an imagine where Pedro gets self conscious of the age gap with y/n and had been weird distant with you. Maybe he read an ugly article that said that he was too old for her and didn't really say positive things.

Once you fount out you reassured him and made him feel really love, Idk something fluffy.

Thanks love your writing

I know it’s been little more than a week since I published anything! I’m trying my best! It’s a busy period. And thank you! I hope you like it 😋

——————————————————————————————

You knew that making your relationship go public would be risky. It always is. Living in this world where you are being watched almost 24/7 doesn’t help hiding or keeping anything private. That’s actually what happened with Pedro. You were both seen on the beach one weekend, holding hands and kissing. At first you were both upset, it was a private beach, you were alone, at least you thought you were, but somehow, people knew.

Since this day, it has been tough. Paparazzi were already following both of you before, but now, they are way more, and it’s getting difficult to leave the house. As they are more, they are also very aggressive verbally as they are trying to get any information, especially on the age cap. Yep, this is their main goal, they want to know everything. You are in your late twenties, Pedro in his late forties.

You both knew what would happen, it can be pretty shocking, a big age gap like that. You tried not to think about it, just focusing on your careers and yourselves. But it wasn’t easy denying this part.

Unfortunately, it was harder for Pedro than for you. He has been working very hard to get where he is now, and he doesn’t want anything to jeopardize that. He doesn’t think it will ruin his career or yours, this is the last thing he thought, but it can have consequences psychologically. The harassment, the articles, it’s all they can talk about. Maybe it’s because it’s new, in a few months they will forget about it, but until now, you had to go through it all.

Pedro was on his computer, scrolling through the news when he saw an article about both of you. “Is star Pedro Pascal having a midlife crisis by dating celebrity Y/n L/n?”. He felt a knot in his stomach. He couldn’t stop reading the title. He knew he shouldn’t be reading this, but he couldn’t help. He had to know what they were saying. So he read the article. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard or seen before, but it was being repeated so much that he was starting to believe it. Was he really too old for Y/n? Was he just distracting himself? Did he deserve you? He suddenly got overwhelmed with thousands of questions, but was interrupted when you got home.

“Hi baby” you joyfully said as you entered the kitchen where Pedro was. He quickly closed his computer, putting a small smile on his face.

“Hey” he simply said. You started to walk towards him, but he got up, holding his computer to put it on the table in the living room. You were confused. You waited a few seconds for him to come back, but when he didn’t, you went in the living room.

“Are you okay?” He was sitting on the couch, going through his jacket to find his cigarettes.

“Y-yeah, I’m just a little tired. I’m smoking one and I think I’ll go lay down”

“Do you need anything? I can make you some tea, if you need medication I have some” you said, getting closer to him, touching his arm.

“I’m good thank you” he said, barely looking at you as he stepped outside, lighting his cigarette. He sat down on the couch, arms crossed, wondering what was going on with him.

You decided to let go for the day, maybe he was just really tired. Unfortunately, next morning, you woke up to an empty bed, even an empty house. He simply texted you that he had to go to set really early this morning, and that he will probably be home late too. There was definitely something going on. Even during the night, he didn’t stay close to you as he usually does.

That’s when you remembered. His computer. He closed it very quickly and tried to put it away from you as soon as you got home. You need to find it. You went to the living room where you last saw it, nothing, there was only yours. You checked all the drawers in the bedroom, nothing. He wouldn’t have taken it with him, he never takes his computer on set with him. You checked all the places in the house, even in the bathroom.

“Come on!” You yelled, getting very upset. You had some emails to check on your own computer, so you grabbed yours that was in the living room. When you opened it, there was a page open. It was an article about you. “What the hell?”

You didn’t remember looking at anything on internet, but it was possible you did. When you opened your mail, you realized that it wasn’t your computer, it was Pedro’s. Ironically, you both have the same computer, and he must have grabbed yours instead of his. You went back to the article, and read it. You felt awful. How could people say that about him? There is so much more about him, and about your relationship. They don’t know anything. More upset than before, you closed the computer, grabbed your keys and left the house.

A few hours later, you arrived on the set where Pedro was filming these days. After being guided by an assistant, you arrived to the latest room where they were filming. You saw Pedro on his phone, sitting in his chair, focused. He was alone, except from a few people re arranging the set.

“Pedro” you called him, as you were behind him. He got a little bit scared, and quickly turned around.

“Y/n? What are you doing here so late?”

“Well, you texted that you were finishing late, so I thought you might not have time to eat, so.. I grabbed your favorite food” you said, showing the big brown bag you were holding in your right hand. You could tell that he was nervous. “Also, I wanted to talk to you” he simply looked at you and nodded.

“Let’s go to my trailer” you smiled and followed him.

After setting the food the table, Pedro started to eat, but you didn’t.

“You know I love you right?” You simply said out of the blue. His mouth full, Pedro looked at you, nodding. “I saw the article on your computer” you said grabbing some fries. Now he was confused, and frowned. “You took my computer instead of yours” you smiled. “I know we basically agreed not to be official, but it happened without our consent, but now it’s done, and.. and we knew what would happen.. we don’t have the choice to live with it, but we have the choice to ignore it” you stared at him “it’s not true what they say, and we both know it”

“I know” he said “but it’s just.. they say it so much, so many people are saying it, there has to be some truth in it if so many people think the same thing” you hold his hand

“No! They just don’t understand. That’s their job to say shit like that. It doesn’t mean it’s true. Don’t doubt yourself, us, we are real, this is true” you said putting your right hand on his cheek, still holding his left hand.

“I’m sorry”

“Don’t be. It’s completely normal. Remember how I felt when the article about me being pregnant got published a year ago? Just because I gained a little?” You both laughed “it’s not true. They only see two people with different ages loving each other and it’s scaring the shit out of them”

“I love you so much” you both smiled. Pedro started to lean in to kiss you. “I don’t know what I would do without you” he whispered right before kissing you passionately.

“And I love you more” you said after you parted “but now let’s eat because I’m starving and it’s getting cold” you both laughed and went back to your food.

You finished eating, and stayed with Pedro as he finished filming what he had to for the day, and got home with him. You both slept better, cuddled up, like you usually do.

#pedro pascal #fanfic #imagine #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal x reader #oneshot #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal one shot #pedro pascal preferences #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x female reader #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x y/n

[somehow-a-human]

The Ineffable Timeline of Season 2

Friday on Whickber street & The Final Fifteen.

DO NOT ASK NEIL ABOUT FAN THEORY

Monday - Tuesday - Wednesday - Thursday - Friday

We've done it besties! We've reached the day of reckoning! Sadly! Okay, We only see a small piece of Friday, but let's still take a look at the timeline that we're shown.

Crowley's sideburns are long for the entirety of Friday so we won't be denoting them in the individual scenes. The illustrated bible is also closed for the entirety of Friday/Episode 6.

Friday aka Episode 6 aka Everyday

8:00 (Estimated time) - Crowley Muriel and the Archangels arrive back to the bookshop from Heaven. It is the next morning on Whickber Street.

Heaven and Hell Confront the duo in the bookshop and Gabriels memories are returned. When they realize Maggie and Nina are present, Crowley takes them out of the bookshop. This is the first time we get a good sense of what time it might be.

8: 30 (Estimated time) - Nina says "I was supposed to be open half an hour ago." We've previously seen her arrive at 6:47 to prepare open the coffee shop. Let's guess maybe she opens at 7-8 ish am. So maybe it's, what, 8:30?

9:00 (Estimated time) - The Ineffable Bureaucracy is revealed, Michael makes their threats against Aziraphale, and meanwhile The Metatron orders a coffee from Nina. It's now maybe 9am. The metatron reveals himself and sends away the Archangels, then invites Aziraphale for a chinwag to discuss returning to Heaven.

9:15 (Estimated time) - Nina and Maggie emotionally compromise disaster puppy Anthony J Crowley by convincing him he should confess his feelings to Aziraphale.

9:25 (Bookshop clock) - We FINALLY get a clear time shot of the clock! Aziraphale relays The Metatrons offer (veiled threat), Crowley's confession, no nightingales, and yes the kiss.

Crowley leaves the bookshop.

Small time jump here. Did time jump or did the final 15 start at 9:25 and end at 9:40 and the bookshop clock is not a functional clock so the hands didn't move throughout the scene, and were just positioned to reflect the time passed after the scene was through? Because I think the second thing may be something people don't consider enough.

9:40 (Bookshop clock) - The Metatron comes back, and Aziraphale follows him to the elevator. Crowley is waiting at the Bentley, and watches as Aziraphale leaves. Then Crowley drives off. Gonna-fuck-shit-up smile Aziraphale, resolute Crowley.

-end episode, and season 2-

well. well. well.

Shall we talk conclusions?

I think in summation, I pretty much disagree with the idea that what is shown is "out of order" or not continuous. Look maybe I'm just so wrong but everything seems to me to follow a very clear path and story line. Are there some weird bits where the very prominently featured clock shifts hours at a time? yes. Do Crowley's sideburns inexplicably change length between scenes, when they were perfectly capable of being kept to a consistent length during season 1? yes. Are there large gaps of time where a lot could be happening that we simply are not shown? yep.

I think if I've read any theories I liked, the time-loop ones are most interesting to me. I think there is definitely an angle to consider given we know Crowley has the power to manipulate time and we see him use it this season on Mr. Dalrymple. We can then assume some other powerful angels/demons must have a similar ability? Coupled with the fact that season 2 insanely closely mirrors The Tales of Hoffmann, and I highly encourage you read this post by @noneorother to see all of their magnificent details. But to VERY briefly summarize, the big baddie Lindorf, who mirrors The Metatron, traps Stella, the character who mirrors our sweet Aziraphale, in a time-loop in one of the minisodes to separate her from Hoffmann, who mirrors Crowley, and eventually gets her to return to Heaven. I mean...

Do I have to even say it?

#good omens #aziraphale #crowley #crowley x aziraphale #good omens meta #michael sheen #david tennant #good omens theories #good omens 2 #good omens clock #ineffable idiots #aziracrow #gomens #good omens fandom #aziraphale x crowley

[sparkles-and-trash]

dabihawks drabble

Keigo is good with people.

This he knows. He’s been trained for it most of his life, and the fact is, he just likes people.

He likes talking to them, hearing their stories, learning what he can about these people who’s in an out of his life in a flash.

It might have partly been him trying to replace something he never had, but it also was something he genuinly felt like.

Touya’s not like that, and Keigo understands.

It’s not until the two of them encounter a lost child when they’re out and about that Keigo realizes there’s a pretty significant gap in his people skills.

He’s dealt with children before, of course, but that was different.

When he’s Hawks, the hero, he always had a clear protocol to follow, and kids were so amazed by being saved by a hero they forgot to be too scared or upset.

But now, as he looks down on the little girl gently pulling at his sleeve with her big, worried eyes cast down and her lower lip wobbling a little, he realizes he has no clue how to proceed.

Why did Touya have to be inside a bakery right this minute, leaving him to deal with this all alone??

Keigo looks down at the little girl with his friendliest smile, and when he focus, he’s barley able to listen to her quiet explaination that she can’t find her mother, and that she doesn’t know where to go.

Keigo smiles reassuringly, or at least he hopes he does, but as he looks into the scared, sad eyes of the little one he cannot help but feel her emotions shake up his own, but he tries to move past it.

«So, where did you last see you’re mom, huh?» the winged man asks, still smiling.

The girl sniffles.

«I don’t know.»

Keigo’s not deterred.

«Well, do you know which direction you came from?» he asks, and the girl shakes her head as she averts her eyes to the ground.

«Hmm..» Keigo mumbles to himself, tapping his chin thoughtfullly.

Then he hears it; little hiccups.

Oh god.

The little one is crying.

Hooo boy.

«Hey now little chick, don’t freak out now yeah?» he says hurriedly as he looks around desperatly.

«I’m sorry mister,» the girl says between the sad little hiccups, and Keigo’s heart shatters.

«Nonono, please don’t apologize!» he pleads as he crouches down to her level, and the scared and sad look on her face is enough for tears to form in his own eyes, but just as the situation was getting dire, the bell on the door of the bakery dinged.

«Hey Pidgeon, they didn’t have any strawberry mochi left but I got you -,»

Touya’s voice trailed off as he took in the scene before him.

His boyfriend crouched on the ground in front a little girl, four-five years tops, both of them looking equally distressed.

Touya sighs and gets down on their level as well.

«That’s an aweful lot of tears just for some strawberry mochi you guys.»

Both pair of eyes turn to look at him, and the little girl smiles softly at his words as she moves to wipe her eyes.

«I guess we got a little carried away…» Keigo mumbles, and Touya raises his eyebrows at him.

«You think so?»

Keigo smiles sheepishly as he blinks away the stress induced tears that had been brimming in his eyes.

«I do really love strawberry mochi tho,» he says with a wink towards the little girl, and she giggles again.

Touya turns to her.

«Do you like strawberry mochi?» he asks.

The girl nods.

«Yeah, but my favorite is matcha,» she says quietly, but will a small smile on her tear stained face.

Touya gasps.

«What? No way!»

The girl giggles, and Touya gets up and pulls Keigo with him.

«That’s actually crazy, that’s my favorite too!» he says brightly, and the girl gasps softly.

«Really?» she asks, and Touya nods.

«Yep.»

The girl opens her mouth to say something, but before she gets to, a women comes running at them with panic in her eyes.

«Kaori? Oh sweetheart there you are!» the woman gasps and she throws her arms around her daughter.

«Mommy!» the girl, Kaori, exclaims happily.

After giving her a quick check to make sure her daughter is okay, she looks up to Keigo and Touya with teary eyes.

«Oh thank you, thank you so much for staying with her! What you must think of me…»

Touya waves her off.

«Oh please ma’m, I grew up with three younger siblings, our parents lost us more times than you can count. It happens.»

The woman smiles wobbly for a second, and Keigo feels a rush of affection for his boyfriend.

«He likes matcha mochi too,» Kaori pipes up as she points to Touya.

Touya grins at her as he holds up the bag from the bakery.

«Would you believe me if I told you I had some right here, fresh from the bakery?» he asks dramatically, and Kaori gasps as her mother smiles and nods at Touya when he gives her a questioning look, and he hands Kaori the plastic bag.

«For me?» she gasps, and Touya nods.

«For being so brave.»

At first the little girl is beaming up at him, but the her face falls a little as she looks over to Keigo, who tilts his head at her.

«I’m not sure…» Kaori mumbles, and her mother looks at her with a confused look.

«Kaori, it’s rude to say no to a gift!»

The little girl bites her lip worriedly.

«But… I don’t want the nice bird man to cry again…» she whsipers, and Touya snorts loudly.

Keigo blushed furiously as Kaori’s mom hides a smile behind her hand.

«I wasn’t…» he starts, and Touya cuts him off.

«Keigo here likes strawberry mochi, remember?» he says with a hard stare at Keigo, who nods furiously.

«Yep! So you’d actually do me a favor by taking these!»

That seemed to be enough for Kaori, and after a million more thanks from her mom, the two finally walked off.

«Well,» Touya said with a grin at his boyfriend, «you handled that well.»

Keigo can’t help but laugh.

«Shut up.»

Touya takes his hand and interlace their fingers.

«Never,» he says merrily, and Keigo rolls his eyes with a smile.

«So, kids aren’t your thing, huh?» Touya asks.

Keigo shakes his head quickly.

«I like them! I’m just not used to them, I guess?»

Touya hums.

«Makes sense.»

They walk in silence for a while, before Touya smirks again.

«It’ll probably be different with ours tho, right?»

Keigo hums, before he stops in his tracks.

«What?» he squawks, and Touya raises his eyebrows.

«When we have kids, they’re gonna be cute as hell right? You’ll be fine with them.»

Keigo’s face is all pink and his wings is flapping like crazy, but he manages to nod a little as he hurries after his boyfriend.

«Yeah,» he smiles to himself as he laces their hands together again.

«Cute as hell.»

#dabihawks #Hawks #Dabi #Keigo takami #touya todoroki #Hawks x Dabi #Dabi x Hawks #toukei #hotwings #mha #bnha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia

[pastelspoon31]

Chapter 1: Bitter Sweetness ♡ (Contract Killer!Soap x Baker!Reader) - NSFW

tw: age gap (Reader being 20, Soap being 31), manipulation, dacryphilia, noncon to dubcon, dead dove!!, big pp in small cunny :(

A/N: Wrote this a loooooooong time ago. Started off pretty cute until I let my period hormones finish the rest of the fic, sigh… Rip reader’s cunny.. AGAIN. (PS: I’m truly sorry for botching the Scottish slangs used.)

It wasn't unusual for people to not understand John 'Soap' MacTavish's Scottish slang. It also wasn't unusual for people to not even try and understand the Scottish lad. Unless it was crucial info to the mission on hand, most jokes and smartass remarks from Soap wasn't really worth repeating after the awkward silence or straight up laughter from his teammates.

He appreciated his team, he really does. There are times his jokes were reciprocated well, especially with his close friend- Ghost, but it's not often so he tries not to mind.

Well, until today at least.

Your soft giggles and laughs were like music to Soap's ears as you looked up to the man through your eyelashes. The bread on the counter was long forgotten as he watched you take humour to his passing joke.

"Sorry- I really do love your accent! It's scottish, right?" You tilted your head in a manner so cute, Soap's brain momentarily shut off.

"Yeah.." He answered slowly, almost shyly as he tried not to get distracted by how pretty you looked. "I'm Johnny,"

"I'm (Y/N)! I haven't seen you here at our bakery for a long while!" Your voice was cheerful and warm as you introduced yourself.

"Aye, been on a.. trip.." Soap mumbled, "Just got back this mornin’..”

"That's wonderful! Is there anything specific that you'd like to add on, Mr. Johnny? We recently hired a sandwich maker, so if you'd like-" You rambled a little about the menu and Soap nodded along, watching you carefully with a small smile.

"D'ye have any of yer pies?"

Your eyes twinkled at his question, "We sure do! We've got the classic chicken pot pie and vegetable pies for the savoury pies, aaaand we've got a blueberry pie, apple pie and lemon meringue pie for the sweet pies today!"

"I'll take a chicken pot pie, and a slice of yer blueberry pie." Soap watched your fingers press the buttons on the cash register before turning around to get the pastries.

He felt a little giddy and warm as he waited for his food, watching you interact with a customer on the other side.

"For here or to go, Mr. Johnny?" You asked as you turned back to him with the order and the bread he picked out earlierin a paper bag.

"To go, lassie."

"Here's your food then, sir." You said with a wide smile as Soap handed you the cash. You took the $100 bill and gave back his $83 dollar change. "Have a good day!"

He returned your smile, "Keep the change, lassie." 

"W-What? It's more than 80 dollars! This is too much!"

"Aye, but ye are too sweet for yer own good, love. Ye deserve it." Soap winked, walking towards the exit of the shop as he watched you sputter out thanks and goodbyes.

♡ ______ ♡

"Mr. Johnny! You're back!" You put down the tray of cookies onto the table next to the cash register, quickly walking over to the scottish man who stood at the entrance. "Haven't seen you in a few days! Where were you?"

“S’just Johnny fer ye, lassie,” He smiled warmly as he walked closer to meet you, "Had some work."

"You must be very busy with work, huh?" Your smile as sweet as ever as you looked up at him.

"Aye."

"Well, good thing I have something new just for you!" You pulled him towards the freshly baked cookies on the counter. "Are you a fan of cookies?"

"Oh? Are ye offering, lass?" Soap teased.

You nodded in excitement, "Yep! You're the first one to try the new recipes out! You wanna try one?" You handed him the warm heart shaped cookie.

Soap looked at you before looking back down at the cookie. He broke a piece off and popped it into his mouth. The buttery dough and sugar melted in his mouth, with the slight chocolate flavour from the chips.

Your much shorter stature made it hard to see you in the line of the large man, but that didn't stop you from standing on your toes and trying to look at his expression.

"How is it? Was it too dry? I saw the recipe on instagram a couple days ago and tweaked it a bit, I hope I didn't mess it up!-"

"It's delicious, lass."

You stopped and looked at his smiling Soap. "Really?"

"Mhm." Soap hummed and ate another piece.

You laughed in joy, clapping your hands together, "I'm glad! I'll let you take the rest of the batch home!"

"Ah- no need. Keep them, lass."

You looked at Soap with a questioning look, "Why? They're yours! It's a gift!"

Soap shook his head, "I'll take a couple, but the rest should go to yer customers."

"Well, I kinda made them for you specifically, so.." You blushed. "It'd make me happy if you could take all of it, Johnny."

"Aren't ye too young to be giving a lad like me a gift, lassie?"

"I'm twenty this year," Your lips formed a small pout, "I'm not a child."

"Still younger than me, aye?"

"...How old are you?"

"Thirty-one."

"So what's eleven years?-"

"A big gap." He curtly replied with a teasing smile.

You stared at Soap for a moment before you sighed, "Please? I made them for you.." You handed him the cookies in a box, neatly tied into a bow now. You don't seem to be hiding your advances either with how persistent you were.

What a naive young woman.

"Fine, if it's yer wish, lassie. But I will pay."

"It's a gift, Johnny. Free of charge."

"Nae, I'll pay, lassie."

You pouted again.

Soap sighed and reached out to you. Your breath hitched when his rough and calloused hand cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing circles into the soft flesh.

"It's one dollar," You feigned annoyance.

"Is it really?"

A defiant nod was his only reply, "It's only a dollar."

"Well, then," Soap's fingers tilted your chin up, making you meet his gaze. "That's a steal, isnae?"

"Ye take tips, lassie?" His thumb gently traced your lips as he watched your eyelids flutter lightly at his touch.

"Maybe.." Your voice barely above a whisper.

"Then, this is my tip, aye?" Soap leaned down and captured your lips into a gentle kiss.

Your eyes fluttered close as you felt his lips on yours, soft and chaste. The scent of the bakery around you and the taste of the man before you was overwhelmingly sweet.

When he pulled away, you could only stare at him.

"Yer too pretty for yer own good, bonnie," He smirked, squeezing your cheeks playfully. "Yer shouldn't be giving kisses to strangers."

You blushed hard, feeling the heat from your ears, cheeks and neck.

"I really like the way you speak… And the way you treat me," You muttered shyly. "And you're not a stranger,"

"Am I not?" Soap raised a brow, "We barely know each other, lassie. For all ye know, I could've been a serial killer."

"You wouldn't." You replied immediately. "You're not a bad person... I think," Your lips quirked into a smirk, "You're a softie."

"Oh, ye think so?"

"Mmhm. You're not mean to the staff, and you always give nice compliments,"

"Do I now?" He tilted his head with a smirk, "And how did ye come to that conclusion?"

"I’m secretly super smart," You smiled mischievously.

"Yer a sneaky little lassie," Soap pinched your cheek.

"You have to come back here everyday now, by the way," You puffed your cheeks, "It's not free to kiss the owner's daughter,"

Soap snorted, "Aye, I'll have to come back here every day, then. What a pain."

You giggled and pushed the box of cookies into his arms.

♡ ______ ♡

It's pretty much common sense to get to know someone before dating them but you just can't help it can you? 

"Shite! I've got a fuckin' date, tonight!" Soap cursed as he swung the metal bat one last time into the captive's head, knocking them dead before inspecting the blood splatter on his shirt.

It's good to get to know someone in case they're a serial killer.. Like John 'Soap' McTavish.

Well, contract killer would be a more appropriate term. Assassin even, if you're into technicalities.

"Which poor girl did you force into a date with you?" Ghost snickered as he lazily flipped his dagger as he watched the Scottish man tried to clean his shirt; only to smear the blood more.

"I didnae force anyone! I've been talking to the baker's daughter. She asked me out!"

Ghost scoffed, "The young one? Barely out of school? What is she, 16?"

"She's twenty," Soap glared.

"Jesus Christ," Ghost rolled his eyes, "That's still a kid."

"Fuck off, ye git." Soap muttered before looking for a spare shirt to change into.

Ghost tossed him the packet of wet wipes, "Don't worry, I won't tell Price you're taking advantage of a poor girl."

"I'm not fucking taking advantage of her!"

"You're 11 years older than her, mate." Ghost patted his shoulder and left the warehouse.

Soap grumbled a string of curses and finished cleaning himself up.

♡______ ♡

"Tomato soup?" The way you tilted your head was still as cute as the first time he saw you.

"Aye. The bastard tipped it all over my favourite shirt." Soap said, leaning against the counter.

"Aww," You pouted, "And you didn't get his number? At least make him pay for dry cleaning?"

"Nae, I didnae." Soap's lips twitched upwards, "Didn't get a chance to ask."

"Here lemme look," Your innocent eyes flickered to his shirt, a little blood stained where the button down met the fabric of his pants. You didn't seem to mind as you looked him up and down.

Soap chuckled, "Are ye checking me out, bonnie?"

You blushed and giggled softly.

"M’looking at your shirt, silly! You got some on your pants too.." You lightly scratched at the fabric. "Must've been some thick tomato soup! If I didn't know any better i'd have guessed that it was blood.." You teased.

Soap smirked, "Yer a curious little kitten, aren't ye?"

"Maybe~”

Soap leaned forward and gently grasped your chin, his thumb rubbing over the plump skin of your lips. If only you knewwhat his hands were capable of doing.

What the stains really were...

Would you still have that bright, curious glint in your eyes?

"You're staring, Johnny~"

Soap was shaken out of his thoughts. He was so caught up with his thoughts he didn't realise that he had been staring at your face, his eyes tracing the features that were becoming oh so familiar.

"Yer a beauty, lass." He whispered, voice low and almost gruff.

"You should take a picture, it'll last longer," You joked.

Soap shook his head, "Where would the fun be in that, lassie?"

"Well," You wrapped your arms around his waist and hugged him, burying your face into his chest. "You could also let me stay the night?" Your voice was shy and muffled.

Soap smiled, "Aye, I'd love to have ye in my bed, bonnie."

"Johnny!"

"What? I wasnae lying when I said ye were too pretty fer yer own good,"

"You're being lewd." You poked his chest.

"And ye aren't, aye? Askin' a lad like me to share a bed with ye."

"Shut up, Johnny. You know what I mean,"

"Aye,"

"Johnnyyyyyy!"

"I like yer laugh, bonnie," Soap mumbled into your hair, his lips brushing over the soft strands. "Wanna hear more of it,"

"You'll see me tomorrow."

"Aye, and the day after that,"

"And the day after that, and the day after that,"

Soap hummed, "Yer really going to have to stay the night with me." He tightened his hold on you.

You giggled, "Only if you want to.."

"I do. I do."

"Okay, then,"

Soap leaned down to peck your forehead before scooping you into his arms. You squealed and laughed, hugging his neck.

"Let's go, then, bonnie."

♡ ______ ♡

"W-wait! It's.. It's too big!-" Your eyes were tearing up from the intense pleasure, your voice hoarse and scratchy.

"Come on, bonnie. Ye can take it." Soap panted, his voice gravelly and gruff. "Relax for me, love."

You whimpered as he tried to fit his bulbous cock into your virgin hole. Your tiny cunt was trying to squeeze and suck him in, the wet squelching of your arousal not doing anything to help.

"J-Johnny, it's not gonna fit," You cried, tears streaming down your cheeks.

The older man reached down and rubbed tight circles into your clit, making your whole body twitch in sensitivity.

"O-oh, f-fuck.." You whined, toes curling and fingers grasping at the sheets.

"Language, bonnie,"

"S-Sorry," You mumbled, your pussy clenching and releasing around the head of his cock.

"That's it, bonnie, nice and easy.." Soap pushed further and you cried, a mix of pleasure and pain.

"Johnny, pull out! Pull out!-" You pushed against his chest as he smiled sadistically, forcing his cock into you.

"Relax, lass," He purred, "Ye can take it."

"N-No!-" You screamed. "I c-can't! It's too much! Ah-" His lips latched onto your tender nipple, sucking and nibbling.

"Just a bit more, bonnie," He mumbled. "Almost in.."

"P-please, no! I c-can't!" You sobbed, feeling his large hand on your abdomen, pressing down on your belly.

"Johnnyyyy~" You cried.

"Hush, love," He soothed, his lips latching onto yours.

You whined and moaned as he slowly inched himself into your small body, his hips flush against yours.

"There yer go, bonnie. All of me in yer little cunt," Soap praised, his rough palm cupping your cheek. "Good girl, taking all of me like that,"

You sniffled and nodded, a few stray tears falling. "S'hurts.. You gotta pull out, Johnny.. M'can't take it.."

God, the sight of you spread open under him, your eyes teary and cheeks pink, the way your walls fluttered and gripped his cock, the feeling of you around him, soft and pliant.

It was driving him mad. The feeling of ruining your innocence, the pleasure and satisfaction from taking your first time and the lust from fucking a young and naive girl was overwhelming.

He wanted more.

He wanted to see you break and shatter.

"I will, i will... Gonna pull out just for ye," Soap cooed, pulling out until only the tip remained.

You breathed a sigh of relief.

Soap slammed his hips back into yours, a loud scream and a sob ripped from your throat.

"Aww, poor bonnie.." He cooed, "Didnae mean to hurt ye,"

You couldn't form any coherent sentences as he rutted into you, your body rocking back and forth with the power of his thrusts.

His fingers were tormenting your poor clit, pinching and pulling at the sensitive nub as he smiled with a crazedexpression.

"I-It hurts! S-stop- N-no more!"

"Yer too fuckin' tight, love. So fuckin' good around me,"

"J-Johnny, please.. Help! H-help someone- Mmpff!-"

Soap captured your lips into a messy kiss, his tongue exploring every crevice and cavity. He sucked and licked at the roof of your mouth, his teeth biting at your bottom lip.

"Now, now, bonnie. Yer wouldn't want the neighbours to hear, would ye?" He covered your mouth with his hand and you sobbed, your eyes squeezing shut as he abused your cunt.

"That's it, lassie. Just let me fuck ye, nice and easy,"

Your body was wracked with sobs, torn between pain and pleasure. Your walls were clamping and fluttering around his cock, trying to milk him.

"Such a good girl," Soap moaned, "So good for me, aren't ye?"

"C-Can't breathe.." You whimpered in between sobs.

"But if I lift my hand, yer gonna start screaming and crying again, aren't ye?"

"N-No.."

"Don't lie, love," Soap smirked, "Yer such a naughty girl."

"I p-promise! Please- Need to breathe-" Your face was red from the lack of air and Soap chuckled.

"If ye say so, love," He slowly lifted his hand and you gasped, gulping in the air.

"P-Please! S-slow d-down- Ah!" You threw your head back, nails scratching at his arms.

"Beg fer it, bonnie. Beg fer it,"

"Please, slow down.. I-It's too much- J-Johnny please!" You whimpered.

"Alright, love. I'll give ye a break," Soap smirked, his hips slowing down. "See, I'm not that bad, am I?"

"N-No.." You whimpered softly as he petted your hair

"But I think ye need to thank me fer taking care of yer, hm?"

"T-Thank you," You mumbled, feeling his cock pull out, only the tip remaining.

"Ye think ye can take it a little more, lassie?" Soap grinned, "Ye want more, aye?"

"N-no! P-pull out, please!"

"Come on, love. We've come this far," Soap's voice was low and husky, sending shivers down your spine. "You love me, right? Ye wouldn't leave me hanging like this."

"I-I can't-"

"Oh, but ye can,"

"Please! I can't-"

"Say ye don't love me,"

"..."

"See? Come on.. Yer not a kid, bonnie. Ye can do it,"

"...O-okay, Johnny.."

"That's my good girl.." Soap cooed, pulling out slightly and slamming back into your abused cunt.

You muffled your screams into his shoulder and cried as he continued his ruthless pace. Your pussy was leaking and throbbing, the pleasure of his cock hitting all the right places.

"That's it, bonnie. Take all of me. Such a good girl for me, aren't ye? Ye take all my cock so well," He started playing with your clit and you thrashed, the stimulation becoming too much.

"Ahh-! S-Stop- I-It's too- Too m-much!"

"Yer close, aren't ye, love?"

You nodded frantically, tears streaming down your cheeks. "C-can't- P-pull out- N-Not ins-side-!"

"I'm sorry, bonnie. Can't do that,"

"N-No- Please, p-pull out-!" You sobbed.

"I'm afraid that's not gonna happen, lassie."

"No- N-No- I-It's coming-! P-pull out! N-not inside!" He cut you off with a deep kiss and you moaned, the pressure in your belly reaching its limit.

Your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your orgasm washing over you. You screamed and thrashed, your back arching.

"There we go, love," Soap growled. "Take my load, love. I'm going to breed ye. Knock ye up, bonnie. Gonna fill ye with my seed," He grunted and came, his warm cum filling your womb and spilling out from the sides.

There was so much of it.

"N-no.. Don't like this.." You whined.

"Shhh," Soap kissed you again, "It's alright, love. Ye did so good,"

"Johnny..." You started crying again and he wrapped his arms around you.

"Shhh, it's okay. I'm here, bonnie. I've got ye," You pushed him away weakly.

"Now, don't be like that, bonnie. I just wanna hold ye." Soap pouted and you shook your head.

"Don't want you.. N-no.."

"But why, love? I thought ye loved me?" He smirked, knowing how you'd react.

"Y-you.. You didn't stop-" You weakly tried to get out of bed, but ended up on the floor.

"Aww, did ye hurt yerself, bonnie?"

"L-Leave me alone!"

Soap frowned, "Now that's not nice, lassie. Watch yer tone with me,"

"N-no! Stay away!"

Soap sighed and walked over to you. He picked you up and laid you back on the bed, your face red and blotchy. You kept on trying to push him away, but you were too weak.

"I'm going to have to clean ye up, aye? Ye wouldn't want to wake up all sticky, would ye?"

"L-Let me go!" You were struggling to push him back.

"Ye have no right to refuse me, bonnie." He said, "If ye keep pushing me, i might have to teach ye a lesson."

You didn't care and kept on trying to get away from him. In the midst of your struggle, you slipped your hands out of his hold and slapped him, hard.

His face turned red and his eyes were wide, a shocked expression on his face. He touched the spot where you hit him and chuckled, his laughter turning into a full blown fit.

"Getting feisty, are we, lassie? Yer a brave one, aren't ye?"

You gulped, afraid. You realised your mistake and quickly scrambled off the bed, stumbling to the other side of the room.

Soap was much faster, his large hands grabbing your waist and throwing you back on the bed. You screamed and tried to hit him, but he was faster.

"What did I tell ye, bonnie?"

"Y-You said n-nothing about this! I thought you were different!-" 

"Aye, ye liked my accent, didn't ye?"

"W-what-?"

"And ye thought I was a good guy, didn't ye? Aye, ye did,"

"I thought-"

"Ye young lassies are the same. So gullible," Soap smirked, his lips hovering near yours.

"Let me go!"

"Now why would I do that? Yer mine and I'm yers. Isn't that right, bonnie?"

You shook your head, tears running down your cheeks.

"That's right. Yer my sweet little girl, and I'm yer Johnny." He pulled you into his chest, a hand threateningly wrapped around your throat from behind. "And that means, yer gonna be nice and all cute with me, and we're gonna get along, aye?"

You sobbed and nodded, not wanting to make him angrier.

"Good, good. I'm glad yer smart, love,"

"L-Let me go, please.. I w-won't tell a-anyone.."

"Now, now. I'll let ye go once we're done here but it doesn't mean you get to go, if you know what I mean," He chuckled.

"D-don't touch me," You tried to sound intimidating but he only found it cute.

"I can't do that, lass. I already told ye. Yer my lassie, and I'm yer man." He kissed your forehead affectionately. "S'okay, yer gonna love it sooner or later, aye?"

"I-I'm scared.."

"No, don't be, love. M'still yer Johnny." He pressed a gentle kiss on the corner of your lips.

You sniffled and relaxed a little.

"Yer still so tense, love. How about we get ye cleaned up, aye?" His deceptively sweet voice contradicting the horror he had put you through.

"Now don't go anywhere.. Or i'll kill ye," He kissed the tip of your nose.

You nodded.

He left the room and went into the bathroom. He brought out a small basin and a washcloth. He soaked the washcloth in the basin and squeezed the excess water out.

"Spread yer legs for me, love. Nice and easy," You obeyed him, not wanting to make him mad.

He gently rubbed the warm cloth between your thighs, cleaning the dried cum and juices. 

"There ye go... Nice and easy.." He cooed as he softly cleaned you up as you whimpered softly.

"There's a good girl, ye did so well.."

You were still sobbing and hiccupping as he placed the washcloth back in the basin.

"Hurts.." You whined.

"What hurts, baby girl?"

"Down there.. Hurts.." Tears fell from your eyes as you complained.

"Aww, ye poor thing.. S'okay, I'll help ye..." He set the basin aside and pulled you into his chest.

You were still sobbing, trying to pull away from him, but his arms held you in place.

"Shhh.. It's okay, love... Ye did so good... Yer my good girl. Did so well for me..."

He gently stroked your hair and soothed you, whispering comforting words in your ear.

"I-It hurts so much.."

"I know.. M'sorry, bonnie.. Ye felt too good, m'couldn't help it.." He cooed, his voice gentle and warm.

"Why'd you have to be so rough? Why'd you have to hurt me like that?"

"S'because, love... Yer such a good girl, m'just wanted to show ye how much I love ye..." He smirked to himself as he watched you slowly relax in his arms.

"But it still hurts.."

"I promise I won't hurt ye like that again.."

"Please don't ever do this to me again.."

"I'm sorry, bonnie.." He cooed as he softly petted your hair.

You were silent except for the soft whimpering and sobbing.

"Are ye mad at me, love?"

"..."

"Ye can say yes, love... M'not mad at ye..."

You shook your head, not sure if you could answer him.

"I dunno.." You were confused, unsure how to feel.

"I'll be a better man, bonnie. I promise, I won't ever hurt ye again. Ye don't deserve to be treated this way."

"P-promise..?" Your tearful doe eyes met his icy blue ones.

"Aye, bonnie. I promise."

"Then I forgive you." You murmured as he hugged you tightly.

"Yer such a kind soul, lassie." He smirked to himself, his fingers gently rubbing the small of your back.

"Thank you.."

"Yer welcome, love."

"Can we get some sleep?" You asked, your voice hoarse. "M'so tired.."

"Aye, we can." He gently laid you down on the bed, kissing your forehead.

"Can you cuddle with me?" Soap’s cock jolted a bit in excitement from how pathetic you sounded.

"Sure, bonnie."

"Thank you..." You sniffled softly into his chest, desperately snuggling the warm skin for comfort.

"There, there.. I'm here, love.."

"I love you, Johnny.."

"M'love ye too, bonnie."

#call of duty #cod mw2 #soap mw2 #soap x reader #johnny soap mactavish #john mactavish #cod #soap smut #john soap mactavish smut #serial killer soap

[dirtybitfic]

COMPANY pt 1

Matt Sturniolo x y/n

contains~ business meeting , fight , slight degrading , little bit of flirting.

y/n pov -

Its currently 4 am and the only reason i'm awake is because my boss called me . I try my best not to fall back asleep as he goes on and on about shit I need to do before todays big meeting. Don't get me wrong I like my job but sometimes my boss drives me insane. I didn't sleep well last night which is not helping the current situation .

*phone call*

Matt - Y/n are you even listening right now

Y/n - Sorry yes mr sturniolo I'm just trying my best to stay awake right now

Matt - Well I will let you go back to bed but you better have things ready when I get to the office am I clear

y/n- yes sir I will have it ready

Matt- Good girl ill see you at 12

Y/n - yep see you in the afternoon

*phone call ends*

I woke back up around 8 and made my way to the office .

I always make it a point to look classy and wear business attire especially when we have big meetings like today. I wear an outfit that I know I look good in but comfortable enough I can sit through 3 hours and write notes for my boss.

I finished up my last task Mr. Sturniolo had giving me on the call earlier and sat at my desk waiting for him to arrive. I've been his assistant for about a year and a half. He's a pretty good boss though he can be harsh and assertive with me at times I try not to take it offensively .I know he just likes things a specific way .

I've been sitting for about 40 minutes when I get call from my boss and I immediately pick it up even though I don't exactly want too

*phone call*

y/n-hey mr sturniolo

matt-hi y/n I just called to tell you that the meeting has been pushed back too 1:30 our clients flight got delayed

y/n- Okay sounds good sir I just finished up the final touches on the presentation and the meeting room is set up and ready

Matt- Atta girl! thank you for getting all that done . Im sorry for calling you at 4 am I know it wasn't the best time

Y/n- Its okay I know you like things done perfectly so im not upset

Matt- Good well I'm parked down stairs and was about to go grab some coffee would you like to come with me?

Y/n- Sure why not ill head down now

Matt- Okay I took the blue convertible today so I have one of the claw clips you left in it a couple weeks ago so your hair doesn't get messed up

Y/n- Oh good thank you

Matt- Of course see you in a couple

Y/n- Yep heading down now bye

*Call ends*

One thing about my boss is he notices the little things most don't for example him knowing I wouldn't want to mess up my hair and keeping the clip in the car just incase I needed it. I know its just a small gesture but it makes me feel some type of way , a way I definitely should not be feeling about my boss. We have a slight age gap given he's 27 and i'm 23 which is yet another reason I should not have the thoughts that I do about him quit often.

I Made my way down to the private parking garage and walked around until I spotted my favorite car Mr Sturniolo owns. Obviously everyone loves a convertible but his is just perfection.

"Hey!" I greet him as I open the door and slide into my seat.

"Hi Good morning " he he greets me with a small smile.

" New suit?" I ask as I look over him noticing i've never seen him wear this suit.

" Yes actually it is" he says with a sigh .

" You don't like it do you?" I ask as I can tell from the sigh and his facial expressions he doesn't seem very excited about it.

" No I hate wearing colored suits but my brother insisted I wear it for todays meeting" he says with an eye roll making me laugh.

" Well for what its worth I think it looks good ... It brings out your eyes" I say smiling over at him.

he return the smile before asking where I want to go for coffee.

I told him to go to Philz so he heads there.

One thing that we do share is music taste so riding around with him is always good. We were listening to "Everlong by the foo fighters" when my phone started to ring.

I look down to see it is my ex who had recently broken up with me . I sigh as I immediately hit decline . He cheated on me for an entire year with a woman who owns a large art gallery and I only found out because I went with matt to buy art for his new penthouse he moved into and saw my boyfriend walking out of her office with lipstick on his face and an untied tie around his neck. Safe to say my boss saw a side of me I wished he never had.

I yelled at him for an hour outside the gallery when he finally broke up with me telling me " I don't love you anymore ... I actually never really did I just liked your body and living with you in your nice ass apartment " so obviously I punched him in the face and he cried like a bitch when I ended up "accidentally" breaking it .

Matt watched the entire thing and safe to say we did not end up buying anything from HER gallery. When we had gotten back to the car Matt had praised me for the way I handled myself and said he was proud of me for breaking his nose .

I felt bad acting how I did in front of him but i'm glad he didn't judge nor fire me for it.

" Zach again" he asks as he pulls into the parking lot giving me his full attention.

" Yes hes been trying to call me all week and I have been ignoring him " I answer as I throw my head back letting out a deep breath.

" They say you never know what you had until its gone . I have known your for a while now and I don't understand why he would cheat on you " he answers in a tone that shows anger and annoyance.

Im glad I have a boss who cares about me outside of work even though some would deem a conversation like this unprofessional it's very normal in our relationship.

"Yeah I don't know either but i'm over it I just want him to leave me alone" I answer ending it with a long sigh and looking over at him.

" Im sorry he's such an ass but we should go in and get our drinks and head back to the office" he answers as turns the car off and unlocks the doors.

I nod as we get out and make our way into Philz and order our drinks Matt always makes it a point to never let me pay which I appreciate but with the amount he pays me i'm very capable of buying my own coffee. I mean shit I live in a 3 bedroom open floor apartment all by myself , Just goes to show I make more than enough money.

We get our drinks and make our way back to the office to get settled in before the meeting.

As we were getting the projector up and running my phone started ringing again . I turn the ringer off and throw it in my bag rolling my eyes. It doesn't go unnoticed by matt when I catch a small smirk runs cross his lips. He doesn't smile too much , I notice that he only really smiles around his family and sometimes me if i'm lucky . He's intimidating which is one reason I was so scared when I first got the job but the thing that kept me going was one day about a month into working for him his mom came into the office and told me that I must be special because he went through 25 interviews before me and he had met me , He was very specific about how he wanted his assistant to act and behave and shockingly I guess that was me. He may have "liked me" but for the first year and a half he was cold and standoffish with me , he would practically ignore me unless he needed me for something or when he would tell me the things that needed to be done for the week.

He finally started warming up to me sometime last year and i'm really glad he did it makes the job 10 times better and enjoyable when he acknowledges and speaks to me .

I sat in my chair by the large windows as I zoned out looking over the city but was snapped out of it when our front desk guy told us through the intercom our clients were on the way up.

This new client we have is actually very exciting . The company that matt owns is a luxury advertisement production company . We make advertisements and plans on ways to promote products and grow the businesses me work with.

Our new client who is on their way up right now is a wine company . Their vineyards are located in the south of France and they have made a new champagne that is flavored with different fruits. They created a new flavor line which is peach, passion fruit , Pear and guava. At first I was skeptical of how well these flavors would taste and if they would really sell or not but after sampling them all I knew they were going to make amazing profit from the new collection.

I sat through thirty minutes of the meeting when my phone continuously rang and vibrated with calls and texts. I knew it was my ex and I started to get fed up so I stopped taking notes so I could just power off my phone.

I grabbed it from my bag with a roll as I saw 6 missed calls and 15 text messages that he had sent in the span of 30 minuets and started powering off my phone .

" You're assistant seems to be more interested in her phone than the importance of this meeting. I must say this is very unprofessional" I hear as my head snaps up and I make eye contact with one of our clients. He glares at me as he scolds me for being on my phone.

" i'm sorry I was just powering it off beca-" I try and explain myself but he immediately cuts me off before I get the chance.

" I don't want to hear any excuses . You need to learn how to respect the people who want to work with your company " he scoffs with a rude eye roll and I cant help the tears that start to fill my eyes.

I look at matt panicking but find him staring at me with an agreed look .

" i'm sorry would you excuse us for a second" matt says as he comes over pulling me out of my chair by my arm and dragging me out o the room.

"I-im sorry I didn't mean to-" I start to say as the tears stream down my face.

" Y/n you need to understand these are very important clients and if this goes right not only I will make a lot of money but so will you . I don't like the way he spoke to you but I will not compromise this deal by saying something to him. So we will take a few minutes for you to calm down and make him think that I set you straight and we will go back in" he says as he places a soft hand on my back soothing me .

I nod " yes sir" I answer as I calm my breathing and look up at him.

We keep eye contact as his eyes seem to grow darker . Something in me stirs as his hand moves up and down slowly on my back at some points getting so low he could grab my ass if he felt inclined too . I hater to say it but his soothing actions are turning me on. Ive always felt a tension between us but I used it aside just telling myself its his cold personality that makes every situation slightly intense .

He moves his hand to my chin holding it and moving my head up to really look at him . He slightly smiles " You calm down?" he asks in a deep voice that for some reason has me clenching my legs together.

"Yes sir i'm sorry for crying I just -"

"I know you don't like being patronized infant of people i've learned that throughout the years you've worked for me . Just be glad your well behaved or you'd really hate me " he says with what sounds like a small chuckle.

" why would I hate you?" I question as I step slightly closer.

"i'm not one to tolerate people misbehaving or defying me . You should know that by now" he answers in a more gravelly voice that has me clenching around nothing .

" right well umm should we go back in " I say in a wavering voice but clear my throat to try and play it off.

He smirks at me but nods his head .

He leads me back to the conference room with a hand on my lower back .

Im moving to open the door but stop when he start whispering to me.

" make it look like I corrected you okay " he whispers before opening the door .

I walk in as I distort my face to make it look as though I am upset and I move quickly to my seat and choose not to even look up at anyone .

I grab my computer and get to typing as matt starts back on the presentation and the clients make their comments and requests .

After about an hour the meeting comes to and end and they decide to go with us for their campaign.

" Me and my wife would like for you to come down to our vineyard in say 4 weeks and shoot promo videos and get photos for the videography does that time frame work for you Mr. Sturniolo?"

the man who blatantly degraded me asks as matt looks to me.

"y/n is the calendar clear that week?" he asks and I pull up his calendar that I schedule and go over it.

" Yes looks like there is only one meeting that week but its with gloria i'm sure we can reschedule it" I answer as I smile at both of them.

"Amazing well my wife is very excited for this campaign . She can be a bit much but what woman isn't right" he says jokingly to matt .

Matt smiles and nods as he leads him out of the office and to the elevator.

I audibly sigh and roll my eyes at his misogynistic comments , safe to say i'm not exactly thrilled ill have to deal with that man on a normal bases but its worth the money so I guess i'll just have to live with it.

Matt comes back in groaning and running his hands through his hair.

" I really do not like that guy" he says making me laugh.

" Trust me neither do I" I say making him chuckle and shake his head.

" He wants us to stay at his estate but I kindly declined . I told him We have many work calls we take and we wouldn't want to be a disruption " he says with a smirk .

I smile widely nodding my head

" Thank god I wouldn't want to be stuck in a house with that man for a day let alone an entire week" I say making him laugh.

" I'll book the hotel so you won't have to worry about that and we'll take the company jet " he says as he grabs his bag and powers off the projector.

" You sure I don't mind dealing with the hotel bookings" I say as I pack up my things as well.

" Yes I have a favorite hotel i've gone too many time there and I know they will give us amazing rooms and the view is amazing" he says as he walks over to me .

" Oh okay" I say smiling up at him.

His hand goes to my jaw like earlier as he moves his thumb softly back and forth .

I lean into the touch as he looks at me deeply like he's studying my soul.

" You did good today I know you're dealing with calls from that asshole and I appreciate you were powering off your phone " he says as he steps him closer to me .

I sigh as I avert my eyes

" Im sorry for causing our client to think of our company as less then because of my actions though" I say still not looking up at him.

" You did nothing wrong you're always a very good girl he's just an asshole who clearly doesn't respect woman"

I blush as I look up at him . His use of the term "good girl" today has gotten me feeling things I shouldn't.

He looks at me as I look up at him .

" If you ever need anything you call me okay . I know i'm your boss but I want you to consider me a friend too " he says as his hand slides down my neck to my shoulder.

His touch leaves goose bumps in its wake which i'm embarrassed about and I can tell he noticed my body reaction by the smirk that grows across his face.

" Yes sir I just wouldn't want to burden you with my problems you have enough to deal with as it is" I answer honestly .

He shakes his head sighing

" Sweetheart you could never be a burden no matter how hard you tried . You're the first assistant i've had for longer than 4 months which can only mean I like you very much and that is rare" he says making me smile .

" Thank you sir I like this job a lot and I hope to keep it for a very long time" I say as I step slightly closer . Our chest are almost flush against each other , im so close I can feel the heat radiating off of him.

" Trust me i'm not letting you go anytime soon " he says in a deep gravely voice that makes me feel such dirty things a literal whimper escapes me .

My eyes widen as I clear my throat and avert my eyes from his.

He grabs my face and turns it to face him again

" Did you just whimper " he asks with a smirk .

" What n-no I was clearing my throat" I say in a panic .

" Are you lying to me y/n " he asks in a teasing tone that almost has be whimpering again.

" No sir " I answer but avoid eye contact.

" Look me in the eyes and tell me the truth" he says in a demanding tone .

I feel as though i'm shrinking into myself as I look up at him .

" Im not lying to you I promise" I say as convincingly as I can.

" You better hope you're telling the truth" he says in a darker deeper voice that has me gulping .

" A-and why is that" I ask as I try and take a step back but bump into the table behind me.

" I don't like liars . Do know what bad lying little girls get y/n " he asks as he steps even closer and i'm forced to sit on the edge of the table as his body is positioned in-between my legs. If anyone where to walk in right now this would be a very compromising position to be in .

" No sir I-i don't" I say .

His entire demeanor changes his large presence now dark and cold as his hand moves to my neck pulling me closer as I gasp in shock.

"They get punished" he kind of growls more than speaks . My mouth opens but no words come out .

He lets go and steps back and goes back to his normal calm demeanor .

I sit in shock as he grabs his bag and starts walking to the door.

"Goodbye y/n see you Tuesday" he says in a kind of sing song tone that has me scoffing. He obviously finds it funny to leave me wet and speechless.

We've never had a moment like that sure we've had weird moments where a little flirting was involved but nothing like what the fuck that just was.

I hop off and grab my bag before rushing down the hall to the elevator . The second I get into my car I scream .

I don't exactly know why I did but it felt great.

I start up my car and put on my nighttime playlist and pull out of the parking garage and pull onto the bright light city roads.

The second I got home I went through all the messages and voicemails from Zach .

15 missed calls from Zach

37 missed texts

all consisting of " call me back" " Im sorry" " I love you so much please" " Fucking bitch answer me" " God your a cunt this is why I cheated on you" and a lot more .

I hate the fact that after listening to three of his voicemails i'm in full tears curled up on my floor in front of my huge floor to ceiling windows.

Im snapped out of my daze when I hear 5 loud bangs on my door . I jump up as my heart pounds . My apartment is the only one on this floor so its not like whoever it is has the wrong apartment .

I slowly make my way to the door when the bangs happen again this time harder .

"OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR Y/N" I hear Zach's voice from the other side .

I panic even more as I slowly go to open the door . The second I turn the lock the door barely open and a fuming Zach marches his way in.

He comes at me so fast I have no time to react . One hand is wrapped tightly around my neck as the other is grasping my hair so tightly I feel like my scalp is on fire.

" You think you're so fucking cute ignoring me huh don't you " he practically spits in my face.

" You-- cheated on me a-and broke up with me w-why are you mad" I choke on as I gasp for in in his tight hold.

" Don't you dare fucking speak to me like that . I said I was sorry but you just want to be a spoiled fucking bitch and ignore my calls" he bites out as his grip on my hair tightens and I scream out in pain.

" You think you are so perfect don't you good fucking too shoes but your just a pathetic little bitch who's unlovable " he shouts in my face as tears start to steam down my face and I cough as I try and pry his hand from my throat.

" I tried to love you I did but you are just so insufferable to be around you know that god your always so pleasant you never do anything bad you're fucking boring all you do is work and come home and sit around doing nothing like a pathetic little loser " He spits as he shoves me into the wall making me yelp.

His hand connects to my face as his fist hits my eye .

He has never acted like this before let alone hit me .

He immediately lets go and steps away also in shock of what he just did .

" I c-cant believe you actually j-just p-punch-ed m-ee" I say in a gasping panicked voiced.

"I-im sorry y/n I ... I didn't mean to I " he says as he steps further away with fear across his face.

"GET OUT GETH THE FUCK OUT " I scream as I fall to the floor and cry .

he runs out closing the door on his way.

My head is pounding my eyes isn't opening correctly and I haven't gotten off the floor in 2 hours.

My phone starts ringing making me jump but I turn it over to see "Matt Sturniolo(boss)" calling .

I don't answer because of the state i'm in and the last thing I want is my boss knowing wtf just happened .

I get a text

" y/f/m/l/n you better answer your phone this is very important" it reads. Judging by the fact he literally just used my full name I know I have to choice to answer his second call to me.

*phone call*

"H-hello" I say as I sniffle and try to make it sound like i'm not crying and my voice isn't stringed.

" Hey I know its late but the clients from today actually want us to come down Tommorrow and stay until the following Sunday and I already cancelled all the appointments this week that were a conflict so I need you up and ready at 10 am Tommorrow I will pick you up at 10 and well head to the airport" he rambles . I panic not knowing what to do I cant say i'm sick because he'll know thats a lie .

I stay silent as I continue sniffling trying to mask my situation .

" y/n are you there ? " he asks in a slightly worried tone.

"Y-yes its just that ... I can't leave Tommorrow " I say as my voice breaks with the last word.

" What why you obviously don't work Tommorrow so what is wrong?" he asks in more of an interrogational tone .

" I j-just cant okay " I bite back as tears start to stream down my face again.

" Y/n what's wrong are you crying " he asks his tone now soft.

"n-no " I try and say without giving away that i'm lying but obviously fail.

" I can hear you sniffling and your voice is choked up tell me what's wrong" he says in a sweet voice .

I sigh loudly " Zach came by earlier and he ..." I stop myself from finishing my sentence not wanting to tell my boss about the embarrassing events .

" He what y/n" his voice sounding slightly angry now.

" He yelled at me and said really hurtful things and then he ... he punched me " I answer in a squeaky raspy tone.

" HE HIT YOU" matt yells from the other side of the phone

"Y-yes" I say as more tears stream down my face .

"Thats it I'm coming to you is your door unlocked " he ask as I hear keys rattle in the background.

"Wait what n-no don't come here" I say in a panic . I do not want him seeing me like this its for one embarrassing and two he's my boss he shouldn't be coming to my apartment .

" Don't tell me no i'll be down there in 5 minutes that door better be unlocked"

I go to protest but the line goes dead.

As much as I love my apartment it doesn't help that Matt lives in the penthouse at the top floor of the building meaning he has easy access to come and see me if he really wants to hence why hell be down in 5 minutes .

I sit on my floor as I try and at least stop the crying before he gets here.

As i'm sitting calming myself my door opens and in walks matt.

I turn away from the door so he doesn't see my face.

" y/n where are y- why are you on the floor?" his voice rings as steps approach me .

I shrugged but burry my face in my arms .

I feel him sit next to me as his scent fills my nose . I sigh but still don't bring my head up .

" y/n look at me" he says in a soft sweet tone.

"No " I say as I shake my head .

"Y/n please you're safe with me you know that i'm not going to judge you" he says as his large hand soothe up and down on my back .

Im so embarrassed that at my grown age I'm crying infant of my fucking boos.

I lift my head and look at him as a look of anger and pain washes over his face.

" sweetheart" he whispers as he immediately pulls me into his chest cradling me . I feel as though i'm a little girl girl again being rocked back to sleep after a nightmare . I being sobbing in his arms as I choke out all the horrible things Zach called me and said to me.

" You are non of those things. Don't think for a second that what he says is true , You're are amazing , sweet, hard working and strong . He is a crazy ass motherfucker who didn't deserve you in the first place" he says as he rocks me slightly .

I for some reason feel inclined to crawl into his lap and bury my face in his chest . I know this entire situation should not be happening right now but I cant stop myself from doing it.

The thing is he lets me he pulls me closer as he smooths my hair and holds me to his chest tightly .

After god knows how long i've stopped crying and my breathing has become somewhat controlled.

I unbury my head from his chest and look up at him .

He smiles weakly

" My sweet girl" he says as his hand gently runs across my face wiping some tears away . I wince when his hand grazes my eye area.

" where are your pain meds ?" he asks as he runs his hand through my tossed hair .

" My bedside table" I answer in a whispered and exhausted tone.

" Alright come on lets get you upstairs " he says as he picks me up off his lap setting me on the ground and standing up then extending his hand to me , I take it as he pulls me up then follows me up the stairs to where my room is .

he tells me to get into bed as he runs down to the kitchen getting me water and rushing back up .

" which table right or left?" he asks .

I try and remember which one but cant so I just shrugged and answered that I couldn't remember so he goes to the rightsize on first .

He opens it and his mouth pops open as he looks at me .

"w-what are they in there " I ask in confusion as to why he looks shocked .

he just stares as me and slowly shakes his head .

It dawns on me after a couple seconds that that is the one I keep my "personal items in" . My body flys up in bed as I rush to close the drawer .

" Im so sorry I forgot about keeping those in that one I ... god thats so embarrassing.

" I never thought of you as the type to own things like that" he says with a laugh making me groan and hide my face in a pillow.

"Im only messing around with you , i'm not uncomfortable about seeing that its normal" he says as he walks to the other table finding the Advil and pouring out two in his hand .

" Take these to her with the swelling before it gets worse" he says as he walks over to me .

" were seriously just going to breeze over the fact that you ... my boss just say my ... "

" toys yes now take these" he says shoving his hand in my face . I sigh as I take them out of his hand and toe them into my mouth then take the water he had in his hand and swallow them down.

" Now i'm going to help you pack . Where are your suitcases " he says as he start walking around my room searching .

" You're actually joking right there is no way I can go looking like this" I say in a bratty tone . I didn't mean to use that tone its just the way it came out.

" First of all watch your tone but yes you're still coming and it will get better in a day or two and we don't have to start the campaign shooting until Tuesday so we can just stay in until then or when we go out you can just wear sunglasses. Now suitcases where are they?"

I groan but point to the door "hallway closet " I say as I yawn .

He nods and walks to the door opening it and coming back 5 seconds later with two suitcases in hand.

" Okay what do want to pack first pants, shirt ...? " he ask as he sets them out on the couch I have on the wall opposite my bed.

"Well I usually pack pants first "

" Okay where are your pants" he asks looking at me .

" Bottom three rows in the closet" I answer

" Any specific ones you want ?" he asks

" You know what how about you pick 4 pairs and i'll say yes or no " I say as I getting extra comfy in bed .

" Yes ma'am " he says jokingly as he makes his way to my large walk in closet.

He comes out 2 minutes later with 4 pairs in hand.

He holds up the first pair , I nod and he smiles " I really like these ones" he says as he happily packs them in my bag.

Second pair - I happily nod and he packs them.

Third pair - I dead pan as he laughs actually laughs . " You've gotta be kidding those were all the way at the back " I say as I give him a look. " why do you even own these " "They were part of a halloween costume like 2 years ago" he just shakes his head and sets them aside .

Fourth pair - " Matt this is a business trip" I say as a I shake my head no . " I know that sweetheart but we don't have to be in business attire the whole time" " I guess your right okay yes pack those"

"Okay next skirts pick 3 they are hung on the left side along with the dresses pick tow of those" I instruct him as I try and stay awake .

He comes back out with a big smile which i'm finding slightly unsettling given ive never seen him so cheerful before

dress one - " absolutely not"I say. He sighs and sets it aside

Dress two - I smile and nod yes . He neatly packs it

Skirt one - immediate yes

Skirt two - Yes

After 45 more minutes i'm fully packed except for underwear and socks.

"Okay last things are undergarments " he says as he looks at me waiting for to tell him where they are.

" Don't worry about those ill pack those in the morning " I say as I wave him off.

" I have a feeling if I let you do that you'll forget " he says as he tilts his head . I hate to admit but he probably right.

" fine okay top shelf of the drawers on the right wall" I say as my face flushes red. My boss definitely should not be handling my underwear and bras but at this point i'm to tired to care.

"wow these are organized so nicely" I hear him say from inside my closet.

Their's silence for a second before he comes out with a handful of my sets with a smirk on his face.

He sets them on top as well as socks .

"Okay done now shoes " I tell him where the shoes are and he picks all good options so that was easy.

He packs up my makeup and skincare bag putting them in the suitcase with the shoes .

" Okay fully packed and ready to go" he says as he pushes both cases by the door .

"Thank you Sir you really didn't have to do all of this" I say sincerely

" First of all as much as I love you calling me sir when we are outside the office call me matt you calling me sir makes me feel fucking old" he says with a smile.

I choke on air at his beginning comment with makes him chuckle.

" Im grateful I have you as a boss matt"

" Im great full to have you as my assistant y/n "

We both share smiles before he turns on my ceiling fan and comes and sits on the edge of my bed.

" I want you to know I genuinely do care about you y/n not just because you are my assistant but because your all around a great girl " he says as his pulls his hand on my comforter covered leg giving it small shake.

" Thank you matt really I couldn't ask for a better boss" I smile at him with half open eyes.

" I'll let you get some rest and ill take your extra key so you can sleep as long as you can and ill just come down and grab your bags and make sure your up and awake by 10" he says as he pats my leg and stands up.

" You sure I don't mind setting and alarm " I ask .

" Im sure now get some sleep and ill see you in the morning "

"Okay well see you in the morning and thank you again really "

" Of course . Good night y/n "

" Good night matt"

God what the fuck just happened ...

#matt sturniolo #fanfiction #dirty nasty #boss

[uyuforu]

Oh i almost forgot. If you have many theories about Jk's chart of fs you should also consider opening your own blog about it :) Don't take it personally, but it would be a shame that all of your theories only gets credits on my blog rather than yours :/ Think about it ^

I would've done that but i like to be anonymous and I dont have any problem with your blog getting credits because I'm here just to learn and have fun.This isn't my main focus in life but I'm free for some months because of maternity leave(I'm 7 months in yayyyyy!!)I'm probably the oldest person on this blog too ig because i dont think anyone on this blogs a 92liner.

I came up with something more and this is something i'd REALLY like for you to give your more than two cents on.

So I started this study like a year ago and its about the possible placements your fs can have.i kept doing it for a while and then i thought about how juno,bride,groom,dsc PC's would be much better to guess the fs chart.

By studying his bpc and his NC I have a few guesses about his fs' possible placements/dominants.

1.she IS definitely having strong cancer placements.(no explanation needed)

2.it can also be that she may have strong 4h placements OR can be moon dominant.(if not the 1st guess then this)

3.mars in 10h or cap mars or mars in a cap degree.(guaranteed success)

4.leo placements or degrees or prominent 5h placements.(creativity,childlike,fame,etc)

5.sun in 10h or sun at leo/cap degree.(same as 3 and 4 guess)

6.pluto-venus aspects,Venus/lilith/pluto in 8h/1h.(magnetism,envy,jealousy,obsession,inference,rich spouse)

7.virgo rising or its degrees on asc.(she's blunt and a bit sharp)

8.gemini Venus or venus in Gemini degrees.(this venus sign is compatible with libra venus and he has geminivenusin bpc too also talking about her having venus-pluto aspects this sign kinda suits it)

9.Sun/moon/saturn aspects.(daddy issues)

10.jupiter in 2h,4h or 11h.(rich family background,big communities, finances and luxuries)

11.this one is random but i see her with a leo mc or an Aries mc OR mc in those degrees.the possible risings with these mc's could be cancer,leo,Libra,scorpio.

12.the above 4 rising signs make the most sense to me.when it comes to his fs I imagine someone soft but sharp.she MAY have these rising signs with virgo degrees.

I have more guesses but they're random.

Talking about the age gap thing,my husband has two stelliums of scorpio and virgo with Libra Moon and I'm 7 years younger than him so ig we wont have to worry too much about Jk's age gap choice because i dont think he'll go for someone MORE younger than 5-7 years of age gap.

Uyu your more than two cents juseyo.

Oh by the way i just wanted to tell you that you don't have to post everyday or keep researching on it daily because it takes up alot of time and energy,it is very draining too so take care of yourself and I hope you and your bf's fight has been resolved yet or will be soon.

✌️anon.

Congrats on your pregnancy! I hope it's going very well for you! Yeah Im a 99liner lol! You're not alone, Seokjin's in your team lol!

-> Cancer placement is big to me as it's literally his DSC and the Sun in the BPC! So the spouse will def have cancer placement in her big 6! Otherwise it can't be her lol! And it has to be something that Is very significant in her chart, something you can see on her easily. Like "you give me cancer vibes" stuff like that lol

-> She def has placements in her own chart about success and fame, she literally is destined for that

-> Leo placements are crazy lmao, that's why I always sensed some Leo vibes from JK, now I know why lmao

-> Yep, Leo sun, or sun being in the 10H I agree, it's one of the first factor when it comes to fame or success without using asteroids. North node in Leo can be a thing too, it's also part of it.

-> For the virgo, def on her big six, idk about ascendant because she gives me the vibe of being so beautiful, and I'm not saying virgo asc aren't pretty but asc Virgos have that cold and stoic beauty. They look pretty distant. To me she maybe has that mysterious beauty like scorpio rising, or charming beauty like libra rising. Could also be cancer or pisces rising! Virgo rising can be a thing but it wouldn't be my first guess. but don't mark my words on it, I wasn't very successful at guessing people's asc lmao

-> For the Venus, it would either be an air one (libra, gemini, Aquarius) or it would be something that aspect his sun (either conjunct so virgo Venus, or another one that aspects his sun). Or also libra Venus for the conjunction or another that aspect. JK will def have that sense that she is the one for him, so anything aspecting his Venus or sun will work out. (a good aspect too so conjunct, sextile or trine)

-> For the age gap, I don"t wanna assume things but it doesn't seem like jk will marry that late and I saw some readers say they'll have 10 years of difference of something but in I absolutely don't see it?? On his chart, I saw placements that indicates 1-2 to 5 years of difference max? She is not that young compared to him. She LOOKS very young, but she isn't, this is what I see! The cancer placements are always very tricky lmao! And if people keep saying they'll be together in 2027 (JK's Saturn return, he will be 29) so 19 if ten years of difference???? idk that seems odd to me, I don't sense it. I feel like she'll be working and be in her successful time at the time!

Thank you for your analysis! And sorry for taking so long to reply, it takes me time to concentrate and give proper answers :)

- uyu

#uyuans

[i3utterflyeffect]

So in the King merc au, avm season 3 happened before now, so the color gang all met King before? Just wanted to clarify

So when Chosen got Second to fight against the mercs, Second recognized King, right? Wonder what they thought about that

yep! they all know King already, and i imagine that season 3 happened sometime between ava 4 and 5 since there's a big gap that wasn't really defined with anything happening, at least in this au because i just bend the timelines to whatever fits best at the time lol

by the time that ava 6 began, King was on pretty good terms with them in this au; he's doing better and even though he usually only visits the computer when Purple drags him along, he's been on much better terms with everyone.

(drawing from a little while ago)

that's why Second Coming is so majorly freaked out by him initially, to be honest. King HAS had a genuine change of heart, but seeing him with the command block staff definitely makes it look like he's just turned on them.

King tries his best to explain but there's not really an opportunity to do so until after SC has already been captured by Agent.

King more or less tries to make it as painless as he possibly can, mostly by keeping SC still... but because of him avoiding fighting and debuffing SC instead, Chosen starts targeting them (because if SC is stopped, there's no way either of them could get out of this--)

If it wasn't for Agent, King wouldn't be so worried about it-- but I think that when he sees the Glitch Gun, he's IMMEDIATELY reminded of how painful it was to be in the destruction beam of the Minecraft² staff.

#tommy's stickmen tag #king merc au #pitch's art #i do think he and purple have some scars from that incident also. as a treat #in general the average person would look at anyone who has been around Alan's computer and go 'WHAT HAPPENED WHY ARE YOU SO BADLY HURT' #you come within proximity of alan's computer and suddenly everything is filled with some deep-vested rage of needing to kill you. #ava/m #ava #avm #ava king #ava king mango #ava king orange #ava mango #ava mango tango #avm mt #avm king orange #avm king mango #avm mango #avm mango tango #ava mt #animation vs animator #ava the second coming #ava tsc

[grapenehifics]

20 Question Fic Writer Tag

Hell yeah I'll play. Thanks @palfriendpatine66 :D

How many works do you have on ao3?

AO3 says ten, but one of those is a series continuation of another one, so I count it as nine...although tomorrow that will go up by one, after the reveals for the Ghost Window challenge go out.

2.) What's your ao3 word count? 

Oh god. 690,376. I honestly think I was happier not knowing that fact about myself.

3.) What fandoms do you write for? 

I don't multitask well. I can write Star Wars fics or I can write Star Wars fics. I haven't even ventured outside the Clone Wars era yet.

4.) What are your top five fics by kudos?

Some Technical Difficulties - big gap - Solsbury Hill - An Uncivil War - medium-sized gap - An Unlikely Duo - another gap-ish - Down by the Seaside.

5.) Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yep. I like it when authors reply to me when I leave a comment, so I try to pay it forward. Also sometimes we get into fun little side chats.

6.) What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

At the moment, not one single damn one of them. They have angst in them, but none of them end on angst. However as of about twenty-four hours from now, my answer will be, Ghost Window AU.

7.) What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Literally all of them. I'm happy to read angst, but when it comes to writing I am firmly in the happy endings camp.

8.) Do you get hate on fics?

I had some people tell me they were dropping out of Solsbury Hill because it wasn't getting to the Obikin fast enough, but I wouldn't call that hate. So, no.

(Side note, though: you don't have to tell authors that. Just delete your subscription quietly.)

But, I am also very ready to delete any and all negative comments. This is my fun side project; good vibes only.

9.) Do you write smut? If so what kind?

...pretty vanilla kind, honestly. Again, I read much more adventurously than I write. (Although, as recently as two years ago I would have said I don't write smut at all, so hit me up two years from now and maybe I'll be writing hardcore d/s, I don't know.)

10.) Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

By the strict definition, no. If you're talking 'dump Star Wars characters into settings of other movies', then hell yeah, that's kind of my jam right now. Down by the Seaside is Obikin Overboard. Next year I'm planning to publish Obikin Jurassic Park, Obikin Parent Trap, and Obikin Princess Diaries II. And I have a couple more on my to-do list.

11.) Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Is this a thing I need to worry about?? Shit.

12.) Have you ever had a fic translated?

@kittonafoxgirl did a podfic of Some Technical Difficulties and it is still like one of the top five most rad things that has ever happened to me; does that count?

13.) Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

No but @fulcrum843 are currently mulling something over...

I do get a lot of help with my writing though. @piecesofeden11 basically wrote all the DnD stuff in An Unlikely Duo. I talk stuff out on Tumblr with folks all the time before I actually sit down to write it (or during, lol).

14.) What's your all time favorite ship?

I have no plans to write anything other than Obikin, and there's so much new good fic that it takes up most of my reading time as well.

15.) What's a WIP you'd like to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I wouldn't call it a WIP because there are no words on a page but I love the *idea* of a fic based on Jenn Barkley from Parks & Rec but have no idea what direction to take it and may never get to it. (If anyone wants to take this idea and run with it please do; it is very much up for grabs!)

16.) What are your writing strengths?

This is a weird thing to answer about myself but I hope I write with a sense of movement, propulsion, even a little suspense - as a reader I love to feel that I have to turn the page, I have to see what comes next, I don't want to put this fic/book down - and I try to work towards that goal in my own writing.

17.) What are your writing weaknesses?

Getting bogged down in details. It drives me crazy in movies when characters have these huge mansions but seemingly never go to work and somehow this has translated into me being incapable of just writing a smutty one-shot or whatever because what is everyone's job and how much is their mortgage payment and do they get paid on Fridays or Mondays and how many bedrooms does that apartment have.

18.) Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

See answer above about over-complicating things: I came up with this whole system for An Uncivil War for whether I'm writing out the dialogue in a language other than Basic (I feel like we really only have enough information for me to be able to do this in Huttese and Mando'a, and even then only short conversations in certain subjects), or simply noting that a character is saying something in another language ("he said in Ryl" or whatever), or mixing Basic and a word/words in another language within the same sentence. It was important to me to capture that multilingualism, but it's also a lot of work, ngl.

19.) First fandom you wrote for?

Technically Johnlock but I never finished/published anything.

20.) Favorite fic you've ever written?

I love all my babies equally, she lied.

It's the Can't Stop the Suns series, which is An Uncivil War, Pick Up the Pieces (more than halfway completed), and Sometimes Fate Steps In (loosely outlined). Sometimes I'll just look over my notes and get giddy about how much good stuff I'm packing in there and how much *more* good stuff I haven't even gotten to yet. I'm throwing the kitchen sink of stuff I love at it. Even if the final version doesn't quite live up to the vision I see in my head (it rarely does), as long as I get close I'll be happy.

I tag @piecesofeden11, @underacalicosky, @fulcrum843, and, as usual, anyone else who feels up for it!

#obikin #solsbury hill #an uncivil war #an unlikely duo #down by the seaside #pick up the pieces #let's get together

[nostalgiachan]

Once in a Lifetime Opportunity

Twenty-Sixth Prompt: Describe a funny moment in camp.

Summary: So a six-foot-someodd tiefling with metal in her chest gets stuck in a dumbwaiter... (800 words)

---

“Karlach, you are my dear friend. I treasure you utterly. How the sweet fuck did you manage this?”

It was the absolute dead of night at the Elfsong Tavern, and all, save Astarion, Halsin, and Vier, were fast asleep. That number should have included Karlach. Instead, she had somehow crammed herself into the dumbwaiter in the corner of the suite, which had then somehow crammed itself halfway down the chute. And so it was that Vier had to piece the scenario together.

“Well,” Karlach grunted, the knees pressing against her chest clearly making it hard to speak, “I wasn’t tired, and I was feeling a bit peckish-like. Wanted to head down to the kitchen to rustle up a snack. Now, I could’ve taken the old fashioned way and left out the front door. But then, I got to thinking.”

“I don’t really think you did,” Vier snarked, “but go on.”

“Thanks for the support, soldier. Anyway, I thought about the dumbwaiter. See, it’s a pretty big box, right? Goes right down to the kitchen, way quicker than taking the stairs. Plus, ever since I was a kid, I’d always wondered what it’d be like to ride one. And how often do you stay in a place that has an actual honest-to-gods dumbwaiter, anyway? This might be my only chance to fulfill a childhood dream!”

“So you jammed yourself in there.”

Within the darkness of the dumbwaiter, Karlach's eyes glowed like a cat’s and were equally full of mischief. “Yep. Getting in wasn’t too hard. Bit of a tight squeeze. But then, two problems: one, I guess I’m a little heavy for the thing, because it dropped down a bit, like so; and two, I tried pulling the rope, but I think something’s jammed.”

“And the gap here’s clearly too small for you to squeeze through now,” Vier mused as she examined the opening. She popped her head into the open chute above the box, conjuring up a small flame to light the interior. While she had to angle herself in an awkward way just to look, she could see the pulley gear just above. After wriggling out, she tried to give the rope a tug herself; sure enough, the box didn’t budge, though whether it was because of a jam or because of Karlach’s heft, she couldn’t tell.

With a sigh and a pinch of the bridge of her nose, she turned to make for her supply pack. As she dug about for bottle of grease, she began to wonder whether her party had a preternatural need to get stuck in holes - she met Gale in a hole in a rock, Boo had gotten trapped in a hole in the wall the other day and Minsc got his finger jammed trying to get him out, and now this. Soon enough, she returned to the dumbwaiter shaft, grease in hand. She leaned in to reach inside, but the pulley was just out of arm’s length; even when she squeezed herself into the gap, she couldn’t maintain footing and reach the gear at the same time.

At this critical juncture, there were a number of sensible options Vier could have taken. She could have called Astarion over - sure, he’d whine up a storm about it, but he had a good few inches of height on Vier and longer arms, to boot, so he could very possibly reach the pulley. She could have called Halsin - if he couldn’t reach up there with some vines, then perhaps he could help Vier manually lift the box enough for Karlach to clamber out. She could have woken up Gale - Grease was generally a projectile spell, after all, and it would take just one hand to lob a glob up the shaft.

Vier did none of these things. Instead, she chose the absolute worst option she could.

“Alright, hold tight, Karlach,” she said as she pushed herself through the gap and onto the top of the box. With her whole body inside, all she needed to do was sit up on her knees and the pulley was well within reach.

There was the horrible sound of wood scraping against wood before the floor suddenly dropped out beneath her. The combined weight was too much for the pulley to handle, and Vier and Karlach were sent screaming down the shaft. Next, an incredible bang and a swift crack as the box smashed against the bottom, followed by groans of pain - terrible pain, certainly, but not life-threatening.

What was more life-threatening, though, was the anger of the kitchen staff, who’d just watched two absolute idiots come crashing in from above and were now down one dumbwaiter. 500 gold for replacement parts and a string of profuse apologies are all that kept the party from being banned from the Elfsong entirely.

#my writing #baldur's gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 fanfiction #bg3 fanfic #drow tav #cleric tav #named tav #vier alurlssrin #karlach

[bewitchingbaker]

SHIPPING INFO // Answer the following for your muse(s) so people know how shipping works on your blog.

REPOST. Don’t reblog.

[long post so under a cut it goes]

What’s your OTP for your Muse(s)?

Ummmmm technically all my pairings are OTP's in their own way. Idk the closest is maybe his potential canon partner/wife Delainey and even then I'm still writing and figuring that out.

I think ships with @moonrevolutions @siiinfully (Harper) @dethdvncer @brooklynislandgirl @smolcuriouskitten and @hunting-songs had a big influence on how I write his romantic headcanons honestly.

What are you willing to RP when it comes to shipping?

Nonmonogamous things are cool, platonic things, romantic things. I’m pretty game for most things. noncon and abusive stuff clearly not for me. i work a 9 to 5 i hate, i'm trying to have fun and vibe. Maybe the occasional toxic ship but Chris is a very tired dude and doesn't have time for another toxic ting.

How large does the age gap have to be to make it uncomfortable?

Are you selective when shipping?

Half and half? Like Chris is easy to ship with but by the same token it also makes tough to ship with? Like he's such a nice easy going guy that he can work with alot of people. But at the same time, he's not always going to go for just anyone. I think it depends on the chemistry of the muses and their dynamic with Chris.

How far do steamy moments have to go before they’re considered NSFW?

Usually when clothes start getting removed and Chris is begging for more of his partner I usally slap on a read more or move it to the ol smut blog.

Who are other muses you ship your muse with?

-I have a few shippy ships

- familial - @escapedartgeek , @the27percent @everyoneismytoy @smolcuriouskitten (Rocky) @tarnishedhalo

-platonic - @pyrokineticwarrior @weregonnagetyou @temporalobjects (Pinky) @awkwardcourage @gretaphasmatosmartin

-romantic - @brooklynislandgirl @hunting-songs @siiinfully @moonrevolutions (its still in the beginning courting/crush stage) @smolcuriouskitten (Ren) @jelloandbeer @temporalobjects (Eshu) @werspinna (technically FWB/casual but there's that hint of more) @illbringthechaosmagic @ofdemonessence and Chris's potential vampire wife Delainey

Does one have to ask to ship with you?,

Not exactly ask but having some form of interaction between our muses would help. Even if it's just a introduction that works or if you reach out, I'm down to clown and figure out their love story.

How often do you like to ship?

Alot more than I thought. I was anxious to ship when I came back cause I did'nt want Chris to fall into any weird shipping things (fetishizing, trying to infantilized my boy, or just weird dynamics) and I haven't written a ship for a while. But now that I'm here, I have a solid list of ships for the young Luna.

Are you multiship?

Yep yep.

Are you ship obsessed or ship more-or-less?

Ship more or less? Idk, I love me a good ship with nice dynamics (friends to lovers, childhood friends with a crush, opposites attract and I love the figuring things out deal I have with a few ships)

What is your favorite ship in your current fandom?

None?

Finally, how does one ship with you?

Hit ya boy up if you see a thing. Write with me and Chris to get a little chemistry going and we'll go from there.

Tagged by: stole it from the homie @escapedartgeek

Tagging: steal the ting.

#; ooc #; facts #; the mun speaks

[yaknowlikenyah]

🐠 FAQ 🐠

Can I message you?

Yes! My dms are open, though I prefer a little real-person conversation before jumping into kink. Even a compliment helps.

Are you single?

Yep, no intention of getting into an official relationship rn, though I will form highly homoerotic friendships where I tell you I love you.

What’s your type?

Sexually, I’m pretty open to fucking people outside my type, but the good shorthand is ‘scary dogs’ Resting bitch face havers, butches, scary looking punks and heavily tattooed metal heads my beloved. I also love desperate, pathetic simps.

What’s your gender?

Fuck if I know. I have a pussy I’m happy with and use He/It.

Can I dom you?

That’s what the kids call a ✨privlege✨. So no, not unless I express interest in it first.

What’s with the ‘Nyah’ catboy thing?

I love a good bit(e).

Can you top me?

I heavily prefer bottoming, but topping is fun and sexy and I wouldn’t object if you’re cute and whiny about it.

Can I ask you for sex/dating/confidence advice?

Yes! Part of my whole Big Brother shtick is that I am actually a big brother and will gladly give you advice if it’s something I can answer.

Is your moaning ‘real’ in your audio?

I mean- I’m not actively fucking myself, but I let myself get into it and make the sounds I actually make during sex.

Can I request audios?

Yes! No guarantee I’ll do it but at the very least it should give me some good ideas.

Can I call you a title?

Yeah, but when in doubt, always encouraged to ask. I would check my Kink list for the titles I enjoy.

Do you have paid content/More content?

Nope! In it for the love of the game. Support your sex workers though. If it’s not in one of my tags assume it’s not here.

Do you have a tag for nudes?

Nope! You gotta search for those. Good luck puppy. Go fetch.

What’s your age range?

I don’t really sext with people under 20, preferably more like 21 cause of the maturity gap. Open to friends though.

#nyah #FAQ #easy to read formatting my beloved

[malaismere]

C3 Ship Statistics for 2022 (weekly)

(for my previous ao3 shipping statistics, check out my ao3-stats tag)

This is episode-by-episode. Month by Month is over here.

These are collected weekly from AO3, counting by page using the "date posted", with each episode being fics from the Friday after to the Thursday the next episode aired.

Overview of the top ships - these are the ships that have a total over 25. You can see at a glance that the top ship is far and away Laudogen - from episodes 7-15 Dorym beats it out, but nothing comes close to where Laudogen is following episode 25 and especially episode 33 - that is, start of Basuras, and Laudna's death. The peak for that cuts out the top at 73, but the other crosses are closer to 30.

Dorym's biggest spike was at episode 12; it dropped off following Dorian's departure in 14; the peaks later don't always correlate with in game events. Orym/Will goes top in episode 17 following the real Will reveal, and Ashrym gets a peak at the M9 Reunion special break (Ashrym week, unrelated to game events).

Everything else...well, too small to really see, so we're going character by character below the break.

Chetney Pock O'Pea

Not much to say here....we have 1 Dorian fic and everythinng else is Fearne, which never breaks 2/week.

Laudna

I capped Laudna/Imogen at 25 so the smaller fics are visible, but we get a peak of 39 at 33, 73, then down at a steady 28/29 until episde 38 with 38 and 39 with 32. That is....Laudogen starts out strong, then drops off but stays prevelant. It goes to 0 for EXU Calamity then skyrockets up for Basuras and then Very Much So for Laudna's Death.

Dorian/Laudna is the second man ship, never big but definitely stronger from 6 to 9. Dusk/Laudna is highest after Dusk's introdution but tails off after they leave. Ashton/Laudna gets a bit stronger post her death.

You can't really see it, but there are some Laudna/Fearne fics more common at the start, and some Laudna/Fearne/Imogen OT3 throughout. No ships with Chetney, FCG, or Orym.

Fresh Cut Grass

Slightly bigger than the Chetney graph but still not big. We have single instances of ships with Orym (11), and Imogen (between 38 and 39), and two with Fearne (6 and between 38 and 39). Not shown is the single FCG/Imahara Joe fic. Yep. That's it.

Obviously Ashton is the big ship, with peaks of 3 at episoes 8 and 38 (actually I think Kinktober fics vs anything else). It's mostly random. I think the long gap is interesting.

Fearne Calloway

Fearne is the messiest and I do apologize for that; she has a lot of ships but none truly dominate. Callowmoore is the closest - strongest during the Heartmoor and leading into the Early Basuras, which is about when Dorian and the Fearne/Orym/Dorian ot3 start to drop off.

Fearne is unique in that she is the only character with more than one fic for every other character.

Imogen Temult

I capped Laudna/Imogen at 25 so the smaller fics are visible, but we get a peak of 39 at 33, 73, then down at a steady 28/29 until episde 38 with 38 and 39 with 32. That is....Laudogen starts out strong, then drops off but stays prevelant. It goes to 0 for EXU Calamity then skyrockets up for Basuras and then Very Much So for Laudna's Death.

Whereas Laudna is pretty consistent for the lesser ships...Imogen really drops off post Dorian's departure as he's her other biggest ship. Orym is the only other ship to get more than a one/week peak.

Orym

Dorian is Orym's dominant ship, and we can see that go strong then drop off following episode 15. It dances around with Ashton & Will but is usually the highest of the three throughout.

Will is mostly low, with high peaks at 17 and 33, for the Will reveal and Orym's death/dream of the Afterlife. The Ashton peak is for Ashrym Week 2022.

Fearne and the Fearne/Orym/Dorian ot3 are more prominent in the earlier era; Orym/Ashton/Dorian becomes stronger later on.

Ashton Greymoore

Zoomed in to see closer; the peak as seen with Orym is at 22 fics. Dorian is more dominant up to episode 15, and falls off. Callowmoore picks up after that, and is dominant during the early Hellcatch arc. Ashton's got a wide spread, albeit not as wide as Fearne; FCG does actually get to be top ship some weeks, and you can see Laudna in the background, as well as the Orym/Ashton/Dorian ot3.

Dorian Storm

Dorian/Orym is dominant, strongest around 13-15 and dropping off after Dorian leaves it still stays the top although it is lower.

The early episodes are Ashton, Laudna, Imogen, but only Ashton really stays strong and even that is relatively weak and more so replaced by the various ot3s.

Dusk/Yu Saffiad

Here not because it's interesting but because I like the symmetry of having all guests. Just Laudna & Imogen & the OT3, with a focus on Laudna. Mostly contained to the appearances of Dusk/Yu, because, well, everyone was pretty distracted following it.

Majority Ships

94% of Laudna's ships are with Imogen, and vice versa

93% of Chetney's ships are with Fearne

80% of FCG's ships are with Ashton

76% of Dorian's ships are with Orym

67% of Orym's ships are with Dorian

53% of Ashton's ships are wih Orym

and there's no Majority with Fearne, but 45% for Ashton is the plurality

Fearne was the only one to have pairings with Every other character (excluding Yu, who was not included for these stats due to small presence).

Platonic (&) Pairings

These are all significantly smaller than the / pairings (max 210, the only one above 100 fics). Every tag has at least one fic however.

Top Ten Friendships are

Laudna & Imogen (74% of Laudna's, 64% of Imogen's)

Orym & Dorian (63% of Dorian's)

FCG & Ashton (80% of FCG's)

Fearne & Orym

Orym & Ashton

Imogen & Orym

Laudna & Ashton

Imogen & Ashton

Imogen & Dorian

Ashton & Dorian

Most Romantic vs Most Platonic

So this is a little tenuous, mostly because someone tagging a fic with both the / and the & doesn't intend it to be read as platonic (but, sometimes does). But, this is calculated by Romantic ("/") fics divided by Platonic ("&") fics, with greater than 1 being more Romantic and less than 1 being more platonic.

The most Romantic were Laudna/Dorian, Ashton/Dorian, Fearne/Ashton, Dorian/Orym, Imogen/Laudna.

The most Platonic were Imogen & Ashton, FCG & Orym, FCG & Imogen, FCG & Ashton, and Imogen & Orym.

(excluding Chetney/everyone, but Fearne and Dorian, Laudna/FCG, Laudna/Orym, and FCG/Dorian as they had 0 / ships)

The most contentious (closest to 1) were Dorian/Imogen, Fearne/Dorian, FCG/Fearne, Laudna & Ashton, and Fearne & Imogen.

#critical role #bells hells #cr stats #ao3 stats #cr meta #dorym #laudogen #imolaud #or if you must use the worse ship name: #imodna #ashrym #callowmoore #idk any other smash ship names please free feel to tell me #chetney pock o'pea #laudna #fresh cut grass #fearne calloway #imogen temult #ashton greymoore #dorian storm

[spinningbuster98]

Castlevania (NES) Ending: And this time STAY dead!

Stage 5 is uhh quite infamous you could say!

Now I think that most of the stage actually isn’t that bad, it doesn’t even have any insta kill obstacles for once. The main threat are those Knights who take a lot of punishment and will throw axes at two different altitudes without any warning, but here’s a trick I found out: throw some holy water and then back away: they will try to close the gap between themselves and you and in doing so they’ll run right into the column of fire generated by the Holy Water which will kill them in roughly two hits!

The big issue is the entire ending portion where you have to deal with two of these fuckers AND an endless wave of Medusa Heads at the same time, and right after that you fight Death, by far the hardest boss in the game besides the Count, who just floats around while spawning an endless supply of homing sickles.

The idea I guess is to use a throwing crucifix, which you can find in the room just before, to keep the sickles at bay while also doing your best to dodge them and Death. It CAN be done...but after that hallway of pain and misery you’ll most likely be at Death’s door not just literally but also metaphorically. I have done it this way in the past but I just couldn’t do it this time, what you see here is me going for the cheap strat: hold onto that Holy Water you get at the start and use it to burn the bastard before he even has a chance to know what hit him

The last stage is short but fuck that part with the fliying birds that drop an endless supply of Flea Men! I used the Stop Watch here otherwise urgh

Fortunately you can die as many times as you want against the old Count, there’s a permanent checkpoint right at the stairway

The first phase of the fight is...honestly the best of the entire game, mainly because he actually has a goddamn pattern and feels like a genuine test of your reflexes and skills! No wonder pretty much every game afterwards will copy this fight one way or the other!

Unfortunately his second phase is...much less graceful. He jumps around the room and occasionally spits fireballs. The issue is that given his size, the room’s size and Simon’s slow speed it’s almost impossible to properly slip under him in order to not get cornered. His only weak spot is the head so you’d think the Crucifix would be the best weapon against him...but actually the Holy Water is the better option! It may not hurt him but it does stun him giving you plenty of time to wack at his head during his second form

Here’s a really fun fact for you: you see those undefined sprites his body explodes into after the first phase? According to a developer interview featured in the Castlevania Anniversary Collection booklet, Castlevania Book of the Crescent Moon, those are the pieces of Dracula’s Body that you’ll later have to collect in the next game! Yep they were already sowing the seeds for a sequel! that’s so cool!

What’s also very interesting is that, also according to this interview, the monster we face during the second phase isn’t technically Dracula but rather “the manifestation of mankind’s evil” (Unfortunately I can’t find any scans online to post here but if anyone can add them feel free to do so). This is very interesting because the idea of Dracula gaining strength from people’s collective evil will be repeated several times in the game and Aria of Sorrow will show us a literal manifestation of humanity’s evil. And these base concepts had already been established, albeit from behind the scenes, all the way since this dinky little mid 80s NES game!

#youtube #akumajou dracula #my gameplay

[robotnik-mun]

You know what’s a neat little thing that I don’t think gets a lot of mention in Pre-Reboot Archie?

The fact there were Things about Mobius Prime that surprised Eggman.

God but issue 92 *sucked*.

But, anyway! Point is- I do actually appreciate these attempts to illustrate that Eggman’s life prior to coming to Mobius Prime and becoming Eggman were not identical to Robotnik Prime’s own, even taking into account the main diverging point of him Roboticizing himself.

Especially when, according to one bio, when said Roboticization happened-

Yep- Eggman was Roboticized a full three years before Robotnik Prime died in Endgame. Which, given that at this point the Robo-Robotnik from Issue Nineteen and Issue Twenty Two were explicitly one and the same (as established in issue Seventy Five), means that the Sonic and company of his zone were partially cyborgified when they were twelve or so... and then nearly killed Robotnik at that age. Eeeesh...

Anyway. I find it fascinating to consider, because some of these differences can be accounted for by the fact that Endgame never happened, while others imply there were other points of divergence even before then.

For example- Eggman being shocked at the existence of Echidnapolis at first seems a bit odd, since given that by the time he finally got his body back on ‘his’ Mobius and obliterated it, you’d think it’d be pretty clear there was an Echidna city on Angel Island by that point. It makes sense that the old Robotnik never knew about it given that he was dead before it came it back, but you’d expect Eggman to know. Yet he is completely surprised. It seems like an oversight... until you remember Endgame.

One of the explicit results of Endgame was that the Ultimate Annhilator’s overloading and subsequently blowing up released energies that weakened the barriers between Zones, and because of that, Echidnapolis and Cavem Canus both were being forced back into the Prime Zone at the same time, resulting in the destruction of the latter. If not for that though? Echidnapolis would never return, and its entirely possible that without Endgame forcing the issue it may never have returned to Angel Island even by the time Robo-Robotnik finally came back and destroyed everything. Now, I don’t know when Guardians in Archie are allowed back into Echidnapolis and told the whole story of things, but I wanna say Eighteen or so. So, Knux would have at least a few more years before finding out the truth of his people, and that knowledge might haven ever left him or Sally.

Kinda makes me wonder how that world’s Julie-Su adjusted to life on Angel Island without any access to the modernity of Echidnapolis...

Likewise though, this would also explain why Eggman didn’t recognize Drago. Since Endgame never happened, he never had any need to associate with Drago or use him in his schemes. It’s interesting how THAT is actually kept rather consistent, that some of the gaps in Eggman’s knowledge are because that One Big Thing never happened.

But then you get the info about Colin, and more intriguing possibilities arise as to how different Eggman’s world was. See, in the Prime Zone, after the Great War Colin led a migration of Overlanders into space to find a new world and as such missed out on Julian taking over Mobius and all the other fun stuff that followed. The quest for a new home was a failure, and Colin’s group returned to Mobius (and unintentionally helped alert the Xorda to the fact life was still on what used to be Earth. Way to go there, Colin).

Eggman’s words here though spell out that he Roboticized his own Colin a while ago, meaning that on HIS Mobius? Colin for whatever reason never left the Great War. And while I doubt it was planned out this way, this would also explain why Eggman never anticipated the Xorda- on his own Mobius, Colin never leaving Mobius means that the Xorda never find their way back to Mobius or try to destroy it, so Eggman is as off-guard as everyone else.

It also makes me wonder if  there is some kind of intrinsic difference in the Roboticization process of his own Zone or some kind of subtle difference between the Overlanders of Mobius Prime and the Overlanders of the ‘Cyber Zone’, because that might explain why Roboticization doesn’t work properly on Overlanders... in the Prime Zone anyway.

Where am I going with this? Nowhere in particular, I just find it kind of interesting to note that there WAS an effort made to establish that Eggman’s life was different from Robotnik’s in Archie, small as that effort was. It wasn’t enough to really salvage the whole ‘Replacement from Another Zone’ conceit, especially given how often the writers resorted to spelling it out over and over again. The whole plot point was INCREDIBLY confusing and convoluted...  but all the same, I appreciate that effort and find it fascinating, even if it never went anywhere and probably never could.

#Sonic the Hedgehog #Archie #Dr. Eggman #Robo-Robotnik