#tagging the last three because i talk about them A LOT in this video. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sidekick-hero · 2 months

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"He probably thinks I don't love him, Robin. Which is... ridiculous. I do! I really, really do. I just can't say it." Steve is pacing around the blissfully empty Family Video Store, his hands making a mess of his hair as they run through it in frustration.

"This is so stupid. I* am* so stupid, it's just four stupid letters, even a preschooler can say it," he rambles, his eyes wild as they look at Robin. "Why am I like this, Robbie?" His voice breaks, along with his heart, at the thought of Eddie doubting Steve's feelings for him for even a second.

Robin walks over to him and grips his shoulders tightly, her blue eyes boring into his as she says in her firmest you-listen-to-me-now voice. "You're not stupid. This is my best friend you're talking about, so watch it." That earns her at least a half-smile, which counts as a victory considering Steve was already pinching his nose to hold back tears.

"I know you love him, Steve. Everyone knows it. One look at you when he's in the room, or even when you're just talking about him, is enough to know you love him. And I'm sure Eddie knows it too. He has to."

Robin's words soothe some of the fear in Steve's heart, knowing that she would tell him if she really thought he had messed up. But even though it's okay now, Eddie won't wait forever for Steve to say those three little words. No one would. Steve knows that his heart couldn't take being with Eddie, loving Eddie and telling him that, only to never hear it back from him.

"I don't know. Even if you're right, I feel like I'm losing him. That something in me is broken, and one day he'll realize that too, and then he'll leave." With an even smaller voice Steve adds: "I can't lose him, Robbie".

They don't hug very often. Robin shows her affection in many ways, but most of them aren't overly physical. That's Eddie's job, clinging to Steve like a koala most days, always touching Steve in some way, even if it's just his shoulder nudging Steve's. Robin pulling him into a tight hug now means a lot to him, but it's also a testament to the gravity of the situation.

With their arms around each other between the horror and action movie sections, Steve takes a moment to just soak in the comfort she offers. What happened at Starcourt messed them both up, caused them both more trauma than any teenager should have to deal with, but on a very selfish level, Steve can't help but be grateful that it happened. A life without Robin Buckley sounds like the greater horror to him.

After a few minutes, Robin gently pulls away from Steve to look at him. He's reluctant to let her go, even though he knows this is an even longer hug than the one she gave him when Nancy told him they weren't getting back together after defeating Vecna. She wanted to go to Boston, make a career, see the world. And Steve? Steve wanted a home, a place to belong, and someone to share that home with. They wanted different things, he realizes now.

That doesn't mean it didn't open old wounds, memories of how it felt to be rejected by her, his love for her thrown in his face like it was worthless. Bullshit.

As attuned to him and his thoughts as ever, a true testament to the fact that they share a brain cell, Robin says, "I think it's understandable that you can't say it. The last time you told someone you loved them, you were hurt, badly. Your heart is probably just trying to protect itself. Like a kid who touched a hot stove and got burned wouldn't touch another stove, you know?"

Steve nods, because in a way it makes sense. It just doesn't help him to know.

"But what am I supposed to do, Robin? It's not Eddie's fault that I'm broken."

"You, Steve Harrington, are not broken. Just a little bruised. There is nothing wrong with you just because you got hurt and have the scars to show for it. Like Max, because of the injuries to her leg, she cannot walk like she used to before Vecna, so she uses her crutch. She's not broken. Is she?"

"No, of course not. If anything, she's even stronger now, I saw her hit Lucas with the crutch and tell him to hurry up on the way to the movies," Steve says, smiling at the memory.

"See!" Robin waves her hand at him in excitement, almost bouncing with it. "All you need is a crutch!"

They look at each other wide-eyed before matching smiles break out on their faces, Robin's giddy at having found a solution, Steve's reflecting the tentative hope blossoming in his chest.

His talk with Robin certainly helped, but as Valentine's Day approaches, the fears and insecurities start to creep back in. It's not even like Eddie is giving him any indication that he's not happy with Steve or their relationship. Quite the opposite, in fact.

Eddie tells him he loves him almost every time they see each other, at the most random moments. Some days he whispers it in Steve's ear to wake him up, other days it's his way of saying good night to him with his arm around Steve's waist and his hand over Steve's heart in a protective grip. He says it casually when Steve brings him breakfast in bed or lunch to the record store where he now works. Just yesterday he said it while Steve was buried deep inside him, their hands intertwined beside Eddie's head and brown eyes looking softly up at Steve.

It's not meant to make him feel bad about himself, he knows that.

He still does.

So when he opens his front door to the sight of Eddie standing on his doorstep in his nicest jeans and a forest green button-down Steve has never seen before, clearly having put some real effort into his appearance, Steve almost crumbles.

He's a shitty boyfriend, isn't he? There's this amazing guy who goes out of his way to look nice for Steve, even though he doesn't even like Valentine's Day, just because he knows it's important to Steve. And he can't even tell him he loves him.

Some of what he's feeling must be showing on his face, because Eddie's cheerful smile falls and he hurries into the house to pull Steve into his arms, slamming the door shut with his foot.

"Sweetheart, I'm sorry, I told Dustin green wasn't my color, but he insisted. I look hideous, don't I?"

That makes Steve snort wetly into Eddie's neck before muttering a fond "Idiot" into it.

Eddie just hums, obviously pleased with himself for making Steve laugh. "You can tell me. You know I don't mind getting naked for you."

"You're getting a little ahead of yourself, aren't you?"

Eddie grinned wolfishly at him. "I don't know, the tear in my Hellfire shirt from when you ripped it off me begs to differ."

Steve blushes at the memory, even as he laughs at Eddie's words. Instead of saying anything else, Steve pulls him back into his arms and Eddie goes willingly.

"Hi, baby," he says, his nose brushing behind Steve's ear.

"Hi." Steve breathes him in, the smell of cigarette smoke and his shampoo strong where his nose is buried in Eddie's hair.

They don't let go for a long time.

It's Eddie who pulls back first, and Steve does his best not to read into it. "You want to tell me what's going on?"

The Steve from before the Upside Down would have just shaken his head and told Eddie that everything was fine before pulling him into the bedroom to reassure them both that it was. Not talking about his feelings, fears, and needs might have worked for hookups, but he learned the hard way that it doesn't work when you want to be in a relationship.

So Steve takes Eddie's hand and leads him over to the couch where they both sit facing each other. They don't let go of each other's hands.

"I know you're probably wondering why I haven't told you... why I haven't said it yet."

Eddie's eyebrows disappear behind his fringe. "It?"

Sighing, Steve watches his fingers run over Eddie's knuckles. "You know. That I love you."

"Oh."

It's hard to place Eddie's tone, and even harder to place the silence that follows, but it makes his knee jiggle with nerves and his stomach churn. Usually it's Eddie who tends to fill the silence between them when it feels too big, too heavy, but today it's Steve.

"It's not because I don't want to, I swear. It's just," another frustrated sigh, the hand currently not held by Eddie's rubbing over his face, "I just can't say it. And I am so, so sorry, because you deserve to hear it. Every day. But I can't... I can't. So I understand if you don't want to do this anymore. You deserve better, Eddie. You really, really do."

Eddie lets Steve's words settle between them, aching and raw, but he never lets go of Steve's hand.

"You're right," he finally says, and the sound of Steve's heart breaking is deafening to his own ears. Pinching his nose, he tries to take his hand back from Eddie, but his boyfriend (if he can still call him that) won't budge. "You're right about me wondering, Steve. But that was before."

Looking up, a frown forming between his eyebrows, Steve asks, "Before?"

"Before I realized that you do tell me that you love me, every day. You say it when you tiptoe around the trailer in the morning to make breakfast without waking me. You tell me every time you pack an extra blanket or sweater when we go to the quarry because you know I always get cold. I hear it loud and clear every time you bring me lunch, even though it means you waste most of your own lunch break driving around town. It's in the way you try so hard to make Wayne like you because you know how much that means to me, and in the way you hold me after another nightmare, and in the way you kiss me sometimes like there's nothing in the world you'd rather be doing, without it having to lead anywhere, just because you like kissing me."

Eddie scooted forward and bridged the gap between them by taking Steve's face in his hands.

"Steve, you've been telling me you love me for months with everything except words. I don't really need them. It's just a four-letter word."

And, fuck, now Steve is crying. Eddie wipes away his tears with his thumbs, and when that's not enough, he kisses them away with his lips.

Steve is so in love with him that he has no idea how the feeling even fits in his body.

"Damn," he chuckles wetly, "that means I didn't even have to find a crutch?"

Now it's Eddie's turn to look at Steve in confusion, clearly worried that his boyfriend might have lost his mind. "What crutch? Is this a sex thing?"

Laughing and shaking his head fondly, Steve raises his free hand to his head, palm facing Eddie. Then he brings his thumb, index finger, and little finger up, keeping his ring and middle fingers down, before moving his hand back and forth slightly.

"Robin came up with this. She said if I couldn't say the words with my mouth, maybe I could say them in a different way. I thought of trying sign language," Steve adds sheepishly.

Before he knows what's happening, Eddie is on top of him, pressing him into the couch with his body weight and showering his face with kisses.

"You're so smart," kiss, "and beautiful," kiss, "and wonderful," kiss, "and I love you so much." The last part is accompanied by a lingering kiss on his lips and Steve melts under it.

Even though he obviously didn't have to tell Eddie this way, Steve is glad that he did.

He also thinks it won't be long before he can say those words, too. If anyone can help him walk without a crutch, it's Eddie.

#steddie #steddie fanfiction #steddie fluff #stranger things fanfiction #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddielovemonth #day 27 #love is just a 4 letter word #my writing

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thefallennightmare · 5 months

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Just Pretend-sixteen

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: Please listen to Eyelids by PVRIS during this chapter. Thank you very much.

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here @koskeepsake @bngurngheart @shilohrosechicken @emzandthevoid

READER

With the notebook in my lap, as I sat cross-legged on my bed with Salem curled up next to me, purring away, I watched intently my laptop screen. My heart pounded so hard in my chest it made it hard to breathe. Noah and Jolly were currently performing a live stream on Veeps and from the moment I clicked on the video, I couldn’t stop staring; with his long hair cascading down his face in perfect waves. His face stone with concentration but yet soft with the features I loved.

“Do you think he’ll mess up like the last stream he did?” I asked Salem while scratching his belly.

Noah’s voice was something extremely distinctive, not just anyone could hold a tune or lit a candle to how he sounded. The way he effortlessly went through every emotion in his body. I looked at Noah as he was pretty still, with thick hair and soft eyes, and he swayed so gracefully that it almost seemed as though he was gliding. I’ve seen beautiful men before; men who caught my eye, but to my mind, they usually lacked the traits I found most desirable. Traits like intelligence, confidence, strength of spirit, passion, traits that inspired others to greatness, traits I aspired to myself, all the traits he had.

I hung off the cliff for Noah for a long time until recently, when I fell to the depths below.

It sparked something in me as I watched Jolly and Noah’s performance. I wanted to do something like this too; to showcase my real voice. I was better without Trey; the band was better. Trey wasn’t the end-all, and I wanted to prove it further. I understood the fans; I knew their positions; I understood their inner turmoil and their panic. Change is actually horrific under some circumstances, not all, but surely a few. This one was big.

Hollow Souls was never supposed to be a 3 piece. Hell, we didn’t even have a guitar player and our tech had to fill in when we recorded My House. Which is why I was learning how to play guitar so I could take Trey’s place. A lot of change within a few months and while it was scary, it was also exciting. But that didn’t stop me from questioning once again if we needed another person. What if I wasn’t strong enough to do this alone? Just the three of us?

What the hell were you worried about, angel?

I was thinking so heavily about what Noah texted me. He was proud of me. Of me! And my friends. That woke me up, he always could. I wanted to grab my phone to call him, and ask him for more reassurance. Our 2:30 conversations were slim and in between and I was struggling with that. I didn’t want to push my luck; he had Bailey.

Bailey.

I rolled my eyes, at the memories of the party. Ridiculous. I was tiptoeing around Noah; I knew if I called him I’d so desperately try to stay on the line. But what if she showed? It was killing me.

Therefore, I was hesitant to perform Eyelids; I was worried Noah’s reaction would warrant further frustration, considering he was in the arms of someone else. I couldn’t handle it because it fucking hurt seeing him with her. I wanted Noah to myself, as selfish as that sounded. I could only hope that in the discovery of my lyrics, he’ll at least know I meant everything we did and said that whole tour, meeting him changed my life for the better; before I hurt him.

I miss him and I only wished I was in his arms.

As the livestream ended, I smiled warmly as Noah and Jolly waved goodbye at the camera and then tried to focus my attention on the paper in my lap.

Amongst the idea of our own live stream, I couldn’t help but want more out of me. It was small; it was something just dying to purge out. However, the more I looked at the lyrics on paper, the more it didn’t fit; it wasn’t me. It was as if these lyrics were meant for someone else.

Letting out a deep breath, I sang a harmony I thought would fit with the lyrics. “Evened the scores, then I let it all go fall apart. And every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. Looking sideways when I say I’m okay with the past but I’m afraid of what I might say if you ask.”

The more I read it, over and over. It was good; I’ll say that. But, surely it didn’t belong to me. I could feel that. But I didn’t give up yet. I wrote another verse, hoping this one would speak more of me.

“I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. I let it tear me down, and I'll never be the same. I did it to myself and tried to be someone else. And you didn't notice 'til I finally got, finally got away.”

Fuck, even singing these lyrics didn’t feel right. My heart knew that this didn’t belong to me, it was meant for someone else.

Making a rash decision, I pulled out my phone and clicked on the name I needed help from.

“Hello?”

I perked up at the accent immediately. “Jolly! Hey, it's me. Y/N.”

A light chuckle echoed in my ear. “I know who it is, doll, I have caller ID.”

“Ok don’t be smart,” I teased.

“Sorry,” he laughs, “What do I owe the pleasure?”

I bit my lip, wondering how he would take my idea. It sounded rash in my head but if anyone were to listen to my idea; it was Jolly.

“I have something to run by you. Well, actually a few things.”

NOAH

My knee bounced as I sat in my chair, phone gripped tightly in my hand, as I glanced at the clock on my computer.

2:28.

It has been almost a week now since our last 2:30 call and the last one was short as she was running around Japan with her dad. Things were awkward to say the least at the party the other night and I wanted to make sure that things between us were still good.

Good? What’s considered good anymore? You’re dating someone else, dumbass.

Ignoring the voice in my mind, I let out a deep breath before clicking on Y/N’s name; the ringing echoing loudly in my quiet room. It rang and rang and rang. It went on like this for a few more times until, eventually; I hung up the call with a groan. But I wasn’t ready to give up yet and I typed out a quick message to Malcolm.

ME: Is Y/N around? I tried calling her.

Malcolm: Yeah, she’s been in the shower. Has been in there for a while- too long, maybe shaving or some shit. I’ll have her call you.

An audible, deep groan, fell from my lips as I leaned my head back against the headrest of my chair when the thought of Y/N in the shower.

Naked, water, and soap ran down every inch of her unholy skin.

“Shit,” I cursed when my dick twitched in my sweats.

“Noah.”

Y/N’s voice rang in my ear as my eyes fluttered shut, hands in fists on my thighs. My vision was so vivid as if I was in the shower with her, our wet skin ablaze as I wrapped my arms around her from behind to bury my face into the crook of her neck.

“Angel,” I breathed while my palm pressed against my hard cock in my sweats.

My hips raised from the chair as a moan crawled out of my throat, my hand now all but ripping out my dripping cock from my pants. It was red and thick with the mere thought of Y/N in the shower. Gripping it between my fingers, I slowly pumped up and down, thumb grazing over the pre-cum that leaked out from the slit and circled it around the head of my cock.

“Noah, I need you.”

Her name fell from my lips as a prayer while I leaned farther back into my chair as my hand worked faster, the grip around myself tightened as the orgasm buzzed in my lower stomach. The burn felt so good but it wasn’t enough; I needed something else to help me over the edge.

I pulled the extra skin down tight, cock standing straight up in my hand, as I let out a strangled breath. My orgasm was right there, but I wanted to edge myself longer; I didn’t want this vision to end.

Y/N rubbed the soap over every inch of her skin, her fingers teasing over her nipples as he head fell back, water spraying into her mouth.

But after that vision, another one came to mind which made my hand work in faster strokes. Y/N on top of me with her hands gripping my braids as her mouth fell slack with ecstasy. I consistently became a time traveler of that night, the night she rode me into oblivion. A night I’ll surely never forget. Even in these moments, my mind goes there.

“Fuck. Shit.” I cursed as a shock shot from the base of my spine to the top when my body went stiff, orgasm so close to destroying me.

I jerked when my phone buzzed against the computer desk so I stopped my actions but kept my grip tight on my aching cock to realize Bailey was calling me.

Ignore.

With my phone still in my hand, I quickly went to my photos and clicked on one of my favorite pictures of Y/N; from the day we spent on the beach. She was staring straight out into the water, a small smile playing on her sweet, plump lips.

Fuck, I wished those lips were strangled around my cock.

Once the phone was set up directly in front of me, I leaned back into my chair again and worked my hand in fast short strokes, the orgasm once again burning low in my belly.

“Noah.” Y/N’s voice echoed in my mind again.

“Shit, angel. I’m gonna-fuck,” I groaned low, the noise barely audible as it crawled out of my throat when my release finally washed over me.

Cum shot all over my hand and onto my pants but none of that mattered; my dark eyes were stuck on the picture on the screen. Until a different picture appeared which had me cursing and wiping my cum covered hand on my pants before tucking myself back into my pants. Just a simple phone call from her had my dick aching again.

With a few steady breaths, I ran my clean hand through my hair before answering the FaceTime call; Y/N’s bright smile warming my heart.

“Hi Mochi! I didn’t mean to miss your call. I was in the shower.”

She was sitting on her bed, water still dripping from her wet hair, and internally I groaned when the same thoughts as earlier came creeping back into my mind.

“Oh yeah? You-uh-feeling clean?” I flushed while shifting in my chair.

“Well, yeah,” she chuckled. “That’s what a shower is. Water, soap.”

Naked, I know the drill.

I cleared my throat. “Right. Anyway, can you talk or is this a bad time?”

“Actually, I was going to send this in the group chat but since I have you on the phone, I figured now would be the best time.”

I raised a brow as my heart pounded widely in my chest, wondering what she was going to say.

“Veeps offered Hollow Souls to do a stream as well! So I wanted to make sure you were free to watch it, maybe? Totally fine if you can’t, I know you might be busy with-.”

“I’ll watch it,” I rushed out, not missing a beat. “What time?”

“Oh, in about 2 hours?” She bit her lip, hopeful I’d say yes.

My dick throbbed as memories of moments before her phone call replayed in my mind. “I’ll have the tv on standby downstairs, angel. We wouldn’t miss that shit for anything.”

Y/N smiled brightly as she brought Salem into view of her phone, his green eyes staring directly into my soul. “Salem thanks you for the support.”

“I miss him, we really bonded while you were gone,” I smiled a bit.

“Well, you can come by anytime to hang out with him; or me,” Y/N added the last bit slyly.

“Count me in, angel.”

READER

Once dressed, almost ready for the live stream, I was rummaging through my sock drawer to find a pair of socks when my fingers brushed against something soft. My brow raised as I pulled out two small velvet boxes, my mind immediately going back to my birthday.

Biting the inside of my cheek, I opened the box, and a gasp left my lips as the silver necklace and matching bracelet shined under the light of the room. It wasn't anything over the top and there were no diamonds but that didn't matter to me. I wasn't one for over-the-top jewelry, this simple chain and bracelet were enough.

With wet eyes, I gazed up at Noah, who had a nervous look on his face as he fiddled with his wooden rosary. "Do you like it?"

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into my embrace, burying my face into his neck. "I love it, Noah. Thank you so much."

With the haste of break up, the end of the tour, the move, and everything that happened between Noah and me, I almost forgot about the jewelry. I've stared at this bracelet and this fucking necklace for a while now. To think I had almost forgotten it, I shook my head at the thought. I couldn’t, things that were meant for us to find their way back. Well; at least that’s what I told myself. I yearned for him, his comfort, his gaze. I didn’t plan on falling in love with him. But once we met, it was clear that neither of us could control what was happening to us. I gasped when I realized what that burning feeling in my heart took over my entire existence each time I thought of him or saw him.

I love Noah.

I nearly stumbled on my feet as a breath fell from my lips again. “It’s too late now.”

With shaky hands, I opened the box, my heart skipping a beat. It still took my breath away as I opened the box, clasping on the necklace first then the bracelet.

“I have to admit, Salem” I turned towards the mirror in my room so I could stare at my reflection while the cat sat on my vanity. “Noah did pretty well.”

There was a knock on my open door, and I gave a small smile towards Jolly. “Hey.”

“Almost ready?” He asked.

“Yep.”

He then taped a finger to his neckline twice. “That’s a nice necklace. Who gave you that?”

“It was a birthday gift,” I shrugged nonchalantly.

The corner of Jolly’s mouth turned up in a grin. “That’s not what I asked.”

Ignoring his comment, I slid into my slippers and led him out of my room down to the dining room where we set up earlier.

Jolly first arrived a few hours ago for our daily lessons before helping me set up the stream. After I watched theirs almost a week ago, I asked Jolly if he could come over to help me with my stream. I couldn’t play guitar but we could practice the two songs I wanted to perform.

Chase and Malcolm asked if I needed them for this but I could tell they already had plans. Even though this was a Hollow Souls set, it was more of an acoustic version so Chase on drums and Malcolm on bass wasn’t needed; hence why I asked Jolly to help. First off, who else was better to teach me how to play guitar than him? I knew the basics, but he was helping me hone in on my skills. Second, I needed to talk to him about something important.

As I finished making things were in order, Jolly sat on his chair to strum the first few notes of If I’m There on his guitar.

“Feel comfortable enough?” He wondered.

I nodded while looking at the laptop to make sure the stream was ready; all I had to do was hit the live button.

“Yep. We’ve been practicing every day. It helps I have a great teacher,” I beamed at him. “Thanks for this, Jolly. I didn’t know who else to ask and I know you’re Noah’s friend first.”

Jolly shrugged. “You’re my friend as well, doll. I help my friends and that’s something Noah knows and understands.”

Silence fell between us for a long moment until he hesitated.

“How did you feel about our new single, honestly?”

My shoulders went rigid for a second before I shrugged. “I’m fine, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Y/N don’t take this the wrong way, but you can’t be that dense. You know it was about you, right?” Jolly asked.

“I-,” The words died in my throat.

Jolly raised a brow. “Yeah, so tell me. How do you feel about it?”

“Are you my shrink now?” I crossed my arms over my chest, one last ditch effort at shielding myself from admitting the truth.

“No, a friend,” he sighed while setting down the guitar.

Defeated, I fell into the chair with a groan. “I-I feel sad. Noah must fucking hate me.”

“I assure you, he doesn’t,” Jolly said.

“How can you be so sure, Jolly? He went and found someone else. He’s clearly writing how he feels too. I hate feeling like this.” I sat with my hands folded in my lap as I chipped away at the nail polish.

“So talk to him, because I can tell you right now, Noah’s not head over heels for this girl. I think you know deep down what he’s trying to do.”

I refused to meet his gaze as I shook my head. “I don’t know what you mean. I can’t-he seems happy.”

“Y/N,” Jolly sighed. “He’s not happy unless he’s with you.”

“Then he needs to tell me that,” my eyes snapped up towards him. “I was going to express some things I’ve discovered but-.”

Jolly raised his brows. “Discovered what?”

For a split second, I thought about telling him but decided against it. “It doesn’t matter, I can’t mess anything up for him. I need Noah to need me. It works both ways, Jolly.”

“Y/N you’re not understanding you’ve got it all wrong-.”

“Can we move on, please? It hurts enough to think about him with someone else the last fucking thing I want to do is talk about them,” I let out a shaky breath as my bottom lip wobbled.

Jolly gave me a weak smile. “Sure thing, doll. Did you want to go live?”

“Actually,” I bit my lip before reaching over to the table to grab a piece of paper. “There’s something I want to run by you.”

When he nodded, I handed Jolly the paper. “I wrote it about Trey but the thought of recording it scares me. It’s deeper than what I typically write and it's not me. I thought about selling it but that didn’t feel right.”

I watched intently as Jolly read the lyrics, his eyes taking in every inch of the page, the smile on his lips growing with each pass.

“Doll, this is,” he shook his head. “Amazing. Are you sure?”

Our eyes locked as I nodded. “It’s not a Hollow Souls song. But Bad Omens on the other hand, I know you guys can give it the justice it deserves.”

NOAH

“SHUT UP!” I bellowed while tossing a pillow towards Jesse, who was talking extensively to Orie about some shit that didn’t matter. “The live stream is about to start.”

Jesse caught the pillow mid-throw and smirked. “Excited, are we?”

Flipping him off, I sat on the couch with a beer in one hand and my phone in the other, sending another text to Jolly. He’d been M.I. A all day, and we were wondering if he was going to join.

“Has anyone heard from Jolly?” I asked.

Orie shrugged. “I thought he was in his room.”

“We went to lunch earlier,” Michael said while walking into the living room, bowl full of random snacks in his hands before he set them on the coffee table. “But he said he had some things to take care of afterward.”

Just then the stream began and Y/N’s soft voice echoed through the speakers.

“Shit, are we live? Wait, I probably shouldn’t swear on this.”

We all shared a laugh until we saw who was sitting next to her.

“Hi everyone! It’s Y/N from Hollow Souls. You might have noticed that I have a friend here with me today,” Y/N adjusted the headphones before she motioned to Jolly who sat on her left. “Jolly from Bad Omens.”

Jolly waved to the camera. “Hi.”

“I guess that’s what his errand was,” Jesse said while throwing some popcorn in his mouth.

Ignoring him, I wondered why Jolly was with Y/N right now. I wasn’t jealous he was with her. I was jealous that I wasn’t there instead. She looked breathtaking with her long hair pulled back in a tight bun to showcase the sharp features of her face, her plump lips glistening with the lip gloss she must have applied before the stream started. Her bright eyes shined with the excitement of what she was about to perform which in turn made me sit up straighter in my spot on the couch, a proud smile on my face.

“So, the reason Malcolm and Chase aren’t here is because this set is more of an acoustic one. I recently saw some friends of mine do something like this and wanted to try it,” she smiled over to Jolly.

“I’m here for moral support,” Jolly said.

“He’s actually been teaching me guitar the last week because I wanted to do more for this band since we kicked Trey out,” Y/N revealed.

At the mention of his name, I felt my face twitch but kept it as stone as I could, not wanting to give anything away to the rest of the guys. They were the only three of the entire group that didn’t know the truth about Y/N’s relationship with Trey.

“Did you know Jolly was teaching her guitar?” Jesse asked me.

I shook my head while running a hand through my hair. “I had no idea she wanted to learn. I mean, I knew they had to figure out a guitarist moving forward but didn’t know she wanted to play.”

“She didn’t ask you?” Orie wondered.

I shrugged, wondering the same but did my best not to dwell on it as I went back to watching the feed.

“So, I’m going to sing two songs for you guys today. The first one is a cover, and the second is something new. It’s nowhere near ready for release but it’s been weighing heavy on my heart the last few weeks since I wrote it.”

Y/N adjusted her headphones before glancing over to her laptop. “Woah, the chat is going crazy you’re here, Jolly.”

He hummed in amusement while tuning the guitar. “What are they saying?”

“Where’s Noah? When is the collab with Bad Omens coming?”

Y/N snickered before looking back at the camera, giving a wink. “I don’t know. Noah has my number.”

Quickly pulling out my phone, I pulled up the stream to add something to the chat.

“Oh, look who joined the chat. Jolly, Noah is wondering if you could bring pizza home,” Y/N laughed as she read my comment.

I chuckled to myself as we saw Jolly roll his eyes. Then Y/N read my next comment, her cheeks flushing red; something others might not have noticed. But I did. I watched and analyzed everything she did with a careful eye.

The comment I sent in the chat was something simple; something only a few of us would understand.

We can talk about the collab during our next phone call.

She shifted in her chair, a hint of a smile on her face. “Well, my first song might sound familiar to a lot of you. It’s my first time performing it but unlike Noah did last week, I won’t mess up the words.”

Jolly broke out in laughter before playing the opening notes of the song; one I recognized immediately even though I knew which one she meant before Jolly played the first few notes of the song. There was only one song I messed up on a livestream recently. If I’m There.

Her beautiful voice stung deep into my veins as I fell back on the couch.

“Oh. Shit,” Orie spoke. “No offense, man, but Y/N kills your lyrics.”

I nodded, numbly as I agreed with him. It was as if my lyrics were made for her voice, the sultry tone of it sending chills all over my body. She gripped the microphone with a soft touch and my cock twitched as I remembered earlier up in my bedroom.

As she got to the verse I messed up on my own livestream, Y/N’s eyes opened to throw a quick wink and smirk toward the camera when she sang it perfectly; almost annoyingly perfect.

I felt a pair of eyes burning into the side of my head and briefly tearing my gaze away from the television; I shot Jesse a look.

“What?”

He pursed his lips while shaking his head. “You haven’t stopped smiling since she came on the screen. You look like a kid that was given free rein in a candy store.”

Rolling my eyes, I focused back to Y/N just in time as she sang the last two lines of the song.

“And if you're there to catch me when I fall then maybe Hell ain't so bad after all,” she breathed before pushing away the microphone from her a tad.

Shit.

This was different than Hollow Souls. The softness of the song was fucking made for Y/N and something she needed to do more of.

“Fuck yes,” she beamed but then smacked a hand over her face. “Sorry, didn’t mean to swear. I’ll add it to the jar Malcolm has on top of the fridge.”

“He doesn’t?” Michael chucked.

I nodded while taking a long drink of my beer. “He does. I saw it when I was there taking care of Salem. Thing is empty but fuck is in their everyday vocabulary so you know they’re not adding to that shit.”

Noticing she was reading the comments once again, I quickly typed out one.

Great job, Y/N! Feel free to cover any of our songs. I’d always watch it with a proud smile.

Even though she didn’t say she read it, I knew she did with the way the corner of her lip raised and the way her eyes crinkled at the sides.

“Alright, the last song is a new one. We do plan on having it on the next record but it will sound different from what you’ll hear right now. My friends, thank you for watching. This one is called Eyelids.”

This had me sitting on the edge of the couch, elbows on my knees, as excitement filled me.

“I'll face my fear of the evening once I get used to this feeling. I can't sleep. That's when you're torn away from me. While I'm dreaming I feel you leaving.”

My jaw fell slack, hearing the rawness in her voice with the pure emotion being poured out of her soul.

"I'll face my fear of the sunrise when I wake up with your hand inside mine. It's hard to say good morning when it's followed with goodbye. Just wanted to say good night.”

Something glinted on the screen, which immediately took my gaze away from her face down to her neck, my heart and breath catching in my throat. I remained silent as my body leaned closer to the television.

“What are you doing, man? Did you forget your glasses?” Michael joked.

His voice was a white noise as I moved from my spot on the couch to the coffee table, now sitting directly in front of the screen.

What the fuck?

Is that?

I inched closer and closer to that television, I couldn’t hear what was being said to me as I scrunched my face up and began squinting.

No, it can’t be.

“Our eyes fighting the light but I'm not ready to say good night, ooh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. Say good night.”

It hung almost a little well above her cleavage, that beautiful silky neck- my eyes moved quickly to her wrists.

“Let me see,” I muttered under my breath.

I made an inaudible sound from my throat, mouth peering a little open.

She was wearing them; both of them. My heart raced even further, longer, more rapidly.

I was feeling a lot of things at once; I didn’t quite know how to place them. I needed a beer. I needed to talk to my shrink. That’s what I should do, because the panic was setting in, this ache was almost unbearable.

Why, why would she want to wear them after everything? Even now?

I’m hurting her right back, aren’t I?

Everything has become a puddle of mud, a mess of my volition now. I did this. All I could think while seeing the jewelry I gifted her, all I could hear while listening to her voice was “Maybe, just maybe I’ll come back to you.”

She was occupied by her own complicated thoughts - you could tell from the way she was squinting and moving her mouth.

Maybe I was imagining things. Maybe until-.

“I'll face my fear of the cold nights when you leave me behind. I felt your hands in my hair. I felt your breath on my neck. Yeah, I need to feel you again. Just wanted to say good night.”

My body went still, all the air taken from my lungs, as I watched her lips move. Her own personal conflict was clear in the way the muscles in her jaw tightened and her eyes screwed shut.

No, it couldn’t be.

She didn’t.

Did she?

Was this about us?

No, I’m overthinking this.

“Our eyes fighting the light but I'm not ready to say good night, ooh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. Say good night.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Orie smack Jesse on the shoulder and motioned to the stillness of me; still unmoving.

“Our eyes fighting the light. But I'm not ready to say good night, ooh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. Say good night.”

I could see Jolly vibing along to the lyrics next to Y/N but it didn’t matter. Nothing else mattered more than this moment right here as I watched her pour every feeling about that night into this one song. My heart fell deep into the pits of my stomach when I saw her grip the necklace, playing with it between two fingers.

These eyes are closed again for yet another night I wake up and I can feel you by my side. But I can't find you in the dark when you're so far. Yeah, that's the hardest part. Here comes the hardest part.

My eyes dropped slightly in tangent with my shoulders.

Our eyes fight the light. But I'm not ready to say good night oh. I try and hold on tight 'cause it's just not time to say good night. To say good night.

As the last lyric faded into the air, there was a hushed recording playing some words in the background; another small thing I picked up on.

“I mean in what world do I go to sleep after you and wake up before you? I don't even know how it happens. Well, I hope you're having sweet dreams. And you call me when you wake up.”

Fuck.

My bottom lip trembled when I recognized that voice. It was Y/N’s, and it wasn’t just any kind of recording. No, it was a voicemail she left me while she was in Japan. It was right after I missed one of our 2:30 calls. I was asleep but once I noticed she called me less than an hour later; I listened to the voicemail before quickly calling her back.

“Okay, that deserves a curse,” Jolly said. “You fucking killed that, Y/N.”

She was beaming with pride. “Holy shit, guys. You don’t understand how long I’ve had this festering inside of me. It feels so good to get out.”

Y/N clicked on the laptop to read through some of the comments, a small frown pulling at her lips.

“Oh my god. Are you and Trey getting back together?! You were so perfect. No, we’re not getting back together. I grew up since the breakup; I became a savage. But not everything is about fucking Trey. This is just a song about a really awesome guy. That’s it.”

I was still, like a statue, unmoving and unnerving as Joly and Y/N said their goodbyes before the stream ended; a black screen mirror back to me.

Jesse leaned forward in his chair. “Noah-.”

Hearing my name broke me out of the trance and without saying another word, I jumped up from my spot on the coffee table and took the stairs two at a time, my footsteps thundering throughout the house before I slammed myself into my bedroom.

Tears threatened to spill, burning at the corners of my eyes, but I held them in with a choked sob as I ran a shaky hand over my face.

I didn’t know what to make of anything anymore. Maybe just romantics would call this a twisted, toxic beginning to a love story while the cynics would call it a tragedy. In my mind, it’s a little bit of both, and no matter how you choose to view it in the end, it doesn’t change the fact that it involves a great deal of my life and the path I’ve chosen to follow and that I- I love her.

Ripping the drawer of my desk open, I rummaged through the useless crap, already knowing what I was looking for. I tossed the velvet boxes to the side and cradled the jewelry, my large hands encased them. I pressed them on my forehead and let the tears finally spill to the floor as I fell to my knees, resting my back up against my bed.

I cried; actually fucking cried.

The necklace and bracelet shook in my hands as the sobs wrecked through me. I haven’t cried like this in a long time mostly because I hated being this open and vulnerable. It made me sick, knowing that I wasn’t able to protect myself from these feelings right now. I spent my entire life protecting myself from these feelings only for Y/N to sink her claws into me in the best way possible.

“I love her,” I choked out through sobs, realizing what I felt earlier. “I fucking love her.”

NOAH

I wasn’t sure how long I kneeled on the floor, jewelry grasped deep in my palms as it dug into my skin. But it wasn’t until there was a soft knock on the door that pulled me from the despair. Red, puffy, bloodshot eyes glanced up at Jolly, whose shoulders fell as he took in my state; tears dried to my face and hair a mess from running my hands through it.

“Noah,” he muttered.

“Please leave me alone right now.” I whimpered lowly, refusing to meet his gaze again.

“No. Jesse said watching her perform Eyelids fucked you up. What’s going on?” Jolly kneeled in front of me.

“I can’t-,” I choked on a sob. “I don’t want to deal with this.”

Jolly rubbed his jaw. “Was it the song or the jewelry?”

My eyes snapped up to him. “How did you know about the jewelry?”

“You used the band card to charge it, goof. I see everything,” Jolly gave me a small smile.

“Fuck. Sorry,” I sighed.

“It’s okay man, it’s okay,” he reassured me with a strong grip on my shoulder.

“No, no, it’s not. I’m tired of feeling. I want to disappear, just disappear.”

Jolly now gripped both of my shoulders, forcing me to look at him. "No, you don’t. Don’t say that shit.”

“I just mean I wish it wasn’t this. Y/N’s been giving me mixed signals.” I mumbled.

“Have you thought you’re doing the same? You’re literally hanging out with another woman out of spite,” He raised a questioning brow.

I leaned my head against the side of my mattress. “She won’t tell me how she feels, I’m trying to show her. I’ve always tried to show her.”

“There’s a saying.” Jolly paused, trying to think of the right words to say. “We are defined by what we do, not just nice words. However, I think you’ve shown enough, Noah. It’s time you use your words.”

“I don’t know how,” I admitted with a shaky breath after a long beat of silence.

“If you’re not comfortable talking about it with us, Noah. Talk to your therapist about it- but this has to stop. It’s draining you.”

I saw the way Jolly’s mouth twitched, his own emotions close to slipping through his own mask, but he held it stronger than me.

“Once you’re in a better place, come to the studio. I have something to show you.”

I nodded. “Sure, yeah. Might be good for me to write something.”

Jolly gave one last squeeze to my shoulder. “Love you, man.”

“You too. Thank you.” I smiled.

NOAH

An hour and a long shower later, I walked down the hallway toward our studio with a new tune in my head. The lyrics were loud in my mind as I played with the new bracelet on my wrist, twisting it between two fingers.

“There’s not another way don’t let me go, don’t dig another grave today,” I sang under my breath as I walked through the door.

Jolly was sitting on the couch in the room, guitar on his lap and notebook on the floor at his feet. He looked up as I walked in and had a nervous smile on his face.

“Hey, you better?”

I gave a small nod. “Yeah. What’s this?”

As I sat on the couch next to him, I went to reach for the notepad before he placed a foot over it, blocking me from retrieving it.

“Y/N gave me something earlier. I really like it but wanted to run it by you, if you were comfortable,” Jolly said hesitantly.

I tensed, not knowing how to feel. I wasn’t comfortable with whatever Jolly needed to show me but knowing it was from Y/N eventually made me agree.

He removed his foot so I could grab the notebook, eyes immediately scanning over the lyrics on the page.

Evened the scores, then I let it all go fall apart. And every step forward put a little more sword in your heart, yeah. Looking sideways when I say I’m okay with the past but I’m afraid of what I might say if you ask. I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. I let it tear me down, and I'll never be the same. I did it to myself, tried to be someone else. And you didn't notice 'til I finally got, finally got away.

My heart stuttered in my chest as I licked my lips. “Wow, that’s impressive. When did you find the time to write this? Usually, that's my wheelhouse.”

“Noah cut the shit. You know this isn’t my work. I just told you, it’s Y/N’s,” Jolly sighed while pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I’m just being a dick.” I snorted a laugh while bumping his shoulder with mine.

“Yeah, you are. Now what do you think? We can use this, no? As inspiration, maybe?”

Suddenly the lyrics I sang a moment before walking into the room played in my mind again; I hummed them under my breath, adding it to the lyrics Y/N wrote.

“One second,” I muttered while pulling out my phone.

ME: You sure you want us to have your lyrics?

Y/N’s response was immediate.

Angel 🪽: Nobody could do it better than you guys. You’ll give those lyrics the justice it deserve.

Leaving the message on read, Jolly and I worked tirelessly to rework the lyrics together and when I felt we were in a good position with them, I reached for my phone again. There was still a lingering feeling festering deep inside of me, that I wanted to make sure Y/N was fine with.

ME: I’m taking creative liberty for this, are you good with that?

Angel 🪽: What's mine is yours, Noah.

Yeah, not everything.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

256 notes · View notes

shinestarhwaa · 5 months

Note

16,25,32,69-yunsanhwa please? thxx.!

I got a little too excited with this one HAHA I'm sorry, I hope you enjoy it cuz I rly did xo

WHAT HAPPENS IN LONDON || YUNSANHWA

Genre: Smut

Pairing: Ateez!Yunho/San/Seonghwa x manager!reader

Word Count: 3k

Tags/warnings: Idol!AU, Dom!Yunho, Dom!San, Sub!Seonghwa, Sub!reader, Foursome, Dirty Talk, M x M (only SanHwa), bottom!Seonghwa, top!San, oral sex (f and m receiving), fingering (f receiving), unprotected sex, vaginal sex, anal sex (m receiving), lots of orgasms, handjob, Seonghwa is a wee bit pervy, voyeurism

Taglist: @anyamaris @a-soft-hornytiny @whatudowhennooneseesyou @wooyoungmybelovedhusband @pyeonghongrie-main @woosanbby @dreamlesswonder86 @changbinslovelylegs @jonghostie @lovjensoo @1-800-shedevil @glintneon123 @mjyungi

ENJOY!

It had been a fun evening so far, walking around the city with the three boys. They treated you on a meal and you showed them various locations and even took videos of their silly Tiktok ideas.

They were lovely really, very different from the artists you had worked with before. You've had two managing jobs before but they didn't last long because of various reasons, but you got hired by KQ for Ateez and you couldn't be happier.

It paid well and they treated you nicely. They always made you laugh and made sure you were comfortable while you're the one who should take care of them instead. Somewhere in your heart you felt like they truly cared for you and you really felt like you didn't deserve them.

After safely getting them back to their hotel, San invited you and the other two boys into his room for a nightcap. After some begging and pleading you finally agreed and entered his room.

As Seonghwa and Yunho had already sat down on the chairs you stood a little awkwardly beside San's bed, drink in your hand. "Just sit, manager-nim," San pouted, pulling your sweater. You couldn't help but smile at the boy and you nodded, sitting down next to him.

The conversation carried on normally until Yunho decided to ask you more personal questions. "So, you're not involved with anyone, manager-nim?" He asked. You shook your head and laughed a bit sheepish. "No, it has been a while, I'm too busy with you idiots," you answered with a grin.

"Oh, really? Well then I'm sorry," Yunho apologized, "we should make up for that in some way right?"

You locked eyes with Yunho as your mouth went dry. What did he mean by that? "I mean, it is only fair," he carried on, "you're taking good care of us as our manager, Y/N, but who's gonna take care of you?"

The way his name fell off your lips made you feel all tingly, a feeling you tried to ignore and block out, but it was impossible because his deep voice send shivers and all kinds of signals directly down to your core.

"I-I...," you stammered, "I can take perfectly good care of myself, I have my own apartment and I don't have debts-." "I believe that isn't what Yunho meant," Seonghwa chimed in. His stare was a little more intense than you were used to from him, his soft and shiny boba eyes gone.

"You know what we mean," San suddenly hushed by your ear, "who's there to please you? I bet we can do it better than you and your little toys could." "T-toys?" You gasped. "We know what's in that red bag of yours, remember the day you slept in our hotelroom last month?" San asked, reminiscing the night where you lost your keys so you crashed on their couch.

"You looked in my bag?" You asked, nervously. "Well, it was open for everyone to see so, yes, I saw what was in there," San confessed. "But believe me, my cock is bigger than that, I could please you so much better than that thing... I bet all three of us could."

You swallowed thickly and crossed your legs. "I-I don't know San, this all seems quite unprofessional," you muttered. "It's just one night, Y/N, and besides that, no one has to know about it," Yunho said. You hesitated, looking at the gorgeous men in front of you.

It was too good to be true right? Three hot and famous men wanting to have sex with you in a beautiful hotelroom on the other side of the world? But how could you say no if they looked at you like this?

"How... would that work?" You asked carefully, earning a few glances and smirks from the boys. "Well you know how sex works right? You can't be a virgin," San grinned. "No, no I know... I'm not a virgin," you said, blushing, "it's just... how would it work with the four of us...? You'd all be naked in front of each other, is that not a problem for you?"

San smirked and let his hand glide over your thigh. "I'm kinda excited about it, actually," he confessed. "Always have been curious about seeing their cocks hard and leaking...," he went on, "and Seonghwa hyungies hole."

Seonghwa blushed and his eyes went wide as he tried to hide his growing boner with his sweater. "Wh-whatt?" He giggled as he looked away, unable to face him. "You heard me." What did he say?

"I don't care what you guys want, all I know is that right know I'm gonna rip off those stupid tight clothes and I'm gonna ravish your naked body," Yunho grunted. "Hm, we'll share," San said.

San kissed your lips and you immediately melted in his embrace. You had always wondered what his arms felt like, his big strong arms that drove every woman on the planet absolutely insane and they felt great.

San kept kissing you as Yunho got on his knees in front of you, pulling down your skirt and spreading your legs a little, seeing the wet patch on your underwear. "Ooh, did we get you wet, Y/N?" Yunho smirked. You broke off the kiss with San, already missing his soft lips as you nodded and slipped your panties off. Yunho nearly growled at the sight of your bare pussy in front of him, running his hands over your soft thighs.

San undid your blouse and bra in a few simple motions, leaving you completely naked. You felt so exposed, looking at the three completely clothed boys and they caught up on it quickly. One by one they started to undress, leaving just their underwear on.

Yunho got between your legs again and licked a stripe up from the bottom of your cunt all the way to your clit, swirling his tongue around the sensitive bud. "O-Oh, Yunie," you panted out, making Yunho grin as he heard the nickname you always gave him roll from your tongue in the form of a moan.

"Yunie, Yunie, Yunie!" You moaned as he fucked you with his tongue and occasionally sucked on your clit. "Stay quiet dear, they'll be able to hear us," San smirked as he kissed your neck and fondled your breasts. You saw Seonghwa in the corner of the room, clearly nervous but palming his crotch as he watched Yunho eat your pussy.

"A-Are you not joining in, Seonghwa?" You asked him, as you were kind of hoping he would come closer and pleasure you. He was a little shy, but he nodded and came closer, sitting on your left side. "If we're gonna do this I want all three of you," you said in a husky tone as you kissed his neck and latched your tongue on his sensitive skin.

His brows furrowed and he swallowed thickly, clearly getting harder from your actions. Your hand reached Yunho's dark hair and pulled it slightly. He looked up at you from between your legs and moaned against your pussy as he kept eating you out.

"So when did you start thinking about fucking me?" You panted out as you grinded your sex on Yunho's tongue. "Hmm, for months now," he moaned against your cunt. You moaned out his name again, a little louder this time.

"You want them all to hear, don't you? You want everyone to hear how good Yunie's making you feel?" San smirked. You couldn't even form a proper sentence because Yunho was currently bringing you to fucking paradise on that skilled tongue. Your moans grew louder as your orgasm washed over you, body trembling in San's embrace.

"Fuck, that's so hot," Seonghwa breathed out as he watched Yunho ride out your orgasm, licking your pussy clean. "Yeah? You want in too, hyung?" San smirked. Seonghwa bit his lip and nodded. He really seemed to be a bit more submissive towards the other boys, wondering what he would be like to you.

"Kiss first then," San stated, pulling Seonghwa closer by his neck and crashing their lips together. Fuck. You were squished between them as they made out, your pussy clenching around nothing as you got needier and needier.

Suddenly you felt two of San's thick fingers in your cunt, pushing in and out of you, making you moan out. Seonghwa reached for your pussy too, rubbing your clit with his middlefinger as San kept fucking you with his fingers. You cried out and clenched around their fingers, the pleasure being so good. ''O-Oh my fucking God,'' you moaned out as Seonghwa picked up the pace. This way you could never last long.

Before you knew it you came again, arousal seeping out of you and coating San's fingers. The boys pulled their hands away and ended the kiss and San held his fingers in front of Seonghwa's mouth, ordering him to lick them off. Seonghwa sucked San's fingers clean while looking at him so intensely as you pulled San's underwear down.

San's dick was rather girthy and thick and it nearly made you drool. Wow, fuck. You got on your knees in front of him and Seonghwa followed your lead. ''I think our hyung is a little needy for cock, don't you think?'' Yunho grinned as he sat on one of the chairs, stroking his erection through his underwear. ''Are you needy for cock, Seonghwa hyung?'' San asked, raising his right eyebrow.

Seonghwa's cheeks and ears were red, so embarrassed but God, it was so cute. ''Can I?'' Seonghwa asked with a small voice. ''Hm... What about Y/N then?'' San asked. Seonghwa thought for a few seconds until Yunho showed up naked and sat next to San. ''She can suck my cock first.''

You swallowed thickly as you saw his big cock sitting between his legs. ''Wow,'' you breathed out, ''where the fuck do you hide this thing?'' Yunho laughed and leaned back a little. ''If you suck it well enough I'll let you ride it.'' You nodded and quickly got to work.

Yunho's muscles tensed when he felt your hot, wet mouth swallow his cock. Your head bobbed up and down as you used your hands on the part you couldn't fit in your mouth. The idol threw back his head and moaned out as he watched your 'innocent' eyes look up at him.

Suddenly you heard groaning beside you as well, making you let go of Yunho's cock with a pop and watch the two men in awe. Seonghwa was sucking San's dick as if it were the sexiest porno in existance, it looked and sounded so incredibly sinful.

The slurping sounds and the moans Seonghwa let out as he gagged on San's cock made your pussy throb. San was moaning and thrusting his hips upwards, fucking his hyung's throat. You gasped as Yunho grabbed your by your hair and forced you back down on his cock. You moaned and gagged around his member as he made you choke on it, fucking your mouth just the way San was doing to Seonghwa.

Yunho and San gave each other a glance, smirking as they were abusing your throat's for their pleasure. ''Fuck, that's so good, such a good girl,'' Yunho moaned as he felt his release coming closer. ''Are you gonna cum Yunie?'' San smirked. ''Fuck yeah, gonna paint her throat all white, ah!'' he moaned out as he came deep in your throat, forcing you to swallow his seeds. You let go of his cock with a pop and you panted out.

Seonghwa was still working on San's cock, drool all over his chin and down the base of San's shaft. ''I'm gonna cum in your mouth now and you're gonna fucking take my load,'' San grunted, ''you're gonna fucking take it, okay baby?'' Seonghwa moaned around his cock before swallowing the big load that San released with a loud moan. Seonghwa panted heavily when he got off his wet cock, tears in his eyes. ''That's a good boy,'' San said as he caressed Seonghwa's hair.

''Fuck, this is the hottest thing I've ever experienced,'' you breathed out as you got on Yunho's lap, hands over his toned chest. You pushed him down to lay flat on the bed as you mounted his cock, letting it sink all the way in. You let out a long moan as you felt him stretch you out.

''I-I want all of you, please, all of you at once,'' you whimpered as you bounced lightly on Yunho's length. ''Oh? You want all of us at once? What a naughty little girl,'' Yunho smirked, ''well you heard her boys.'' ''Hm, you're one to like having all her holes filled don't ya?'' San smirked. ''You're not fucking my ass San, do you understand? You're not fucking my ass'' you said, rolling your eyes, knowing about his ass-obsession. San laughed and nodded as he got behind you. ''I promise I won't fuck your ass, only Hwa's.''

San slid his rigid cock right next to Yunho's, deep into your pussy. ''Oh-Oh my God!'' You cried out. ''What about me?'' a now naked Seonghwa asked with his boba eyes. God, those eyes. ''Kiss me,'' you whimpered, pulling him close by his hip. Seonghwa got closer and passionately kissed you on the mouth, driving you inside with his soft lips.

Yunho and San slowly started moving inside you, making you moan into Seonghwa's mouth. You took his long cock in your hand, pumping it up and down slowly, trying to match Yunho and San's pace. Seonghwa moaned along with you and bucked his hips up.

''I had no idea Seonghwa hyung was this filthy,'' Yunho smirked as he rolled his hips up into you. San and Yunho were moving faster, fucking you harder and it felt so good that you could barely keep on kissing Seonghwa. You kept moaning and moaning, eventually breaking the kiss and resting your head against his shoulder. You kept pumping his cock rapidly, earning the most beautiful moans from the boy.

''O-Oh my, you're driving me insane,'' he moaned out. ''Hmm... I always knew he was filthy, I still live with him,'' San smirked before continuing, ''He's always fucking touching himself, fucking himself, listening to us when we're jerking off, he's a little pervert,'' San smirked. Seonghwa could only nodd, whine and moan at San's words,

''I-I'm sorry, I don't wanna be a pervert,'' he cried out, ''I-I just couldn't help it!'' ''It's okay babyboy, it's okay,'' San cooed, ''I'm gonna take care of you after this.''

San's hips thrusted quickly into you, his balls softly clashing against your ass. ''Fuck, you are so good for us,'' Yunho moaned. ''Y-Yes, so good for you, so good for you, I'll fucking let you ruin me whenever you guys want I promise y-you can use my pussy,'' you moaned out. ''Oh? You want us to use your pussy as a good little fucktoy when we're on the road? Well I cannot say no to that.''

''Yes, please, please, please!'' You begged them as you kept working your hand on Seonghwa's cock. He bucked his hips up in the air and started fucking your fist, cumming all over it with a loud moan before he could even announce it.

''What a filthy boy,'' San said, smirking as he pounded into you, repeatedly hitting your g-spot. You let go of Seonghwa's cock as you felt forward onto Yunho's chest, moaning out from the friction you got on your clit. ''Oh look at you, you're close aren't you?'' Yunho said, smirking. ''Y-Yes, Yunie, yes! G-Gonna cum so hard,'' you moaned loudly. San and Yunho thrusted a few more times before they send you over the edge, making you scream out in pleasure.

Only seconds later Yunho came as well, spilling inside you with a loud moan. He pulled out of you and so did San, seeing him watch the three of you by himself. San laid Seonghwa down and smirked at the innocent-looking boy. ''Shall I fill you up now, huh?

''Y-Yes, please, please I've been wanting you for so long,'' he cried out. You and Yunho felt quite fucked out so you laid in his arms as you watched San lube up his dick and slide it into Seonghwa's puckering hole.

''I'm gonna fucking make you scream, hyung,'' he panted out as he let the older one adjust to his size. ''Please, have no mercy on me, I can take it.'' ''I know you can, I've seen that dildo underneath your bed,'' San smirked. Seonghwa's eyes grew wide as San moved inside him, starting off with a rough and fast pace.

He already earned so many sinful, slutty moans from him, making you think that Seonghwa went in the wrong entertainment business cause damn he was sexier and hotter than any pornstar you've ever seen.

''Yeah, you like that baby?'' he smirked as he plunged deeper inside him. San grabbed Seonghwa's cock and jerked it off as he kept fucking him, turning him into a moaning mess. ''I-I'm not gonna last long like this!'' Seonghwa moaned out, ''Your cock is too good, too fucking good!''

San smirked and absolutely went nuts inside him, ramming his cock deep inside him and letting out the most animalistic groans. ''Fuck me, fuck me hard, give me your cum, please!'' Seonghwa begged. With a few more jerks of his hips San released inside Seonghwa, moaning out his name.

Seonghwa moaned louder as he felt his orgasm approach, clenching down on San's cock, milking him dry. San's dom facade slowly broke down as his pleasure took over and watched Seonghwa unravel beneath him, spilling all over his hand and abs.

After getting cleaned up you wished the boys good night before getting back to your own hotelroom, rethinking the shenanigans of earlier and you couldn't help but smile. This was definitely not gonna be the last time this was happening.

What happens in London, doesn't stay back in London. It's comin' back home, you thought.

#kpop #ateez #smut #seonghwa #san #yunho #shinestarhwaa's promptlist❤️#shinestarhwaa

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butchdiaz · 10 months

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baby’s first 911 fic!!!!

i wish i said it better (poker fake dating spec 3 months late, 12k)

It’s 7am and Eddie needs to go home. The last 24 hours were non-stop. No big calls, but a million small ones, spread out just far enough to lull him into a false sense of relaxation, barely having time to lay his head on the pillow before the alarm blared through the station. He’s dead on his feet. He has to take a shower, maybe a power nap if he’s lucky, relieve Carla and take Chris to school in a little over an hour. Eddie needs to go home.

He parks outside Buck's loft shortly after 7:15, head reeling, replaying his conversation with Hen right before leaving the station on a loop.

“I'm just sick of it.” Eddie lets out a breath and bangs his head against the locker that he shares with Buck.

Eddie has been on three dates this week, and it feels like enough for a lifetime. How do people do this for months? For years? He feels a little silly giving up after a week after making such a big deal of putting himself back out there, but maybe he's just not meant for this. The revolving door of women.

“Sick of what?” Hen asks gently.

“The – the small talk and the not knowing what they like and the uncertainty and the thinking twelve steps ahead because there’s no way I'm bringing anyone less than perfect into Chris's life so as soon as one thing is off I'm checked out and I have to smile and nod my way through the rest of the night and,” Eddie sighs, feeling suddenly much older than thirty one, “It's exhausting.”

“Haven't you only been on, like, three dates?” Hen raises an accusing eyebrow. It's a statement with a question mark on the end.

“Shut up.”

“I'm just saying, there are a lot of amazing women in LA. It seems kind of unfair to write off all of them after three dates.”

Eddie sighs, tries to imagine sitting across the dinner table from a woman and wanting to take her home. It’s a blank in his mind. A blurry supercut of perfect women and perfect conversation that never leads to anything more.

He can picture the alternative, though. Coming home to Chris and Buck playing video games on the couch, squeezing in beside them with a beer, listening to their fond banter – exactly like he’s done after cutting every date short this week.

It's easy. No small talk, no pretense, no body on high alert for red flags.

“I'm not writing off all women,” he grumbles, “I just need a break.”

“From dating? Or from women?” Hen asks, a thoughtful expression on her face. Eddie doesn't like that face. It means she knows something.

“Uh,” Eddie stutters, feeling suddenly like he's caught in a trap, “Aren't they the same thing?”

Hen shrugs, “They could be.”

Yeah, definitely a trap. Hen closes her locker, and swings her bag onto her shoulder, taking a second to choose her next words with care.

“Have you considered,” she says, “that it's not the dating that's the problem?”

“Um,” Eddie replies eloquently once more, feeling lost. Hen sighs, looking at him like he can't grasp basic math.

“Maybe it's the dating women, Eddie. Maybe that's the problem.”

And, oh. Hen thinks he should date–oh.

He just stands there, LAFD jacket hanging loosely off one shoulder, mouth slightly agape like a fish out of water. Hen turns to go, taking one last look back at Eddie from the doorway.

“Just something to think about,” she says, that damn twinkle in her eye, knowing that she’s caught him, hook, line and sinker, “if you never have.”

read more on ao3

tagging the homies <3

@911onabc @useramor @translasso @lucydonato @anxieteandbiscuits @danielsousa @ilostyou @jamietarts @anirudhpisharody @janesbennet @try-set-me-on-fire @carryingbears @saltedbutr @rivermp3 @diazly @goldenbcnes @roy-kents @poughkeepsies

#HI BE NICE TO ME IM SCARED #i hate sharing my writing gonna throw up #rbs + kudos + comments are so so so appreciated :')#911 #911 fic #buddie #abby is making #my fic

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umeoniii · 10 months

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aot women beige flags!

٩( 'ω' )و

mikasa, hange, annie, sasha, ymir, pieck

mikasa:

☆ gets super sick easily

and these sicknesses literally beat her ass

she just has a super weak immune system

can go out one time then when she comes back home she’s literally stuck in bed like it’s her dying days.

a common cold for her is like the plague

it seems as if she’s an old victorian child lying in her bed asking her mother for bread and water.

☆ somehow physic

not so much now, it’s not like she has powers

but she has a ‘6th sense’ and she can tell when something bad is going to happen

first time she did it you thought she was joking around

but then she was right because the building next to you caught fire (cooking error…)

you were totally scared of her after that bcs what if she was behind it

then you forgave her (she did nothing wrong?) and tried to convince her to give you a fortune

then she proceeded to tell you that’s not what the sixth sense is for

hange:

☆ really likes playing games

hanges a sore loser though.

this is super funny

super competitive with stuff like board games and video games. and she takes it seriously.

when she loses she takes it to heart.

she’ll throw a temper tantrum and get upset and everything.

she’ll do anything to win as well. cheats and switches the game all she wants, especially when she’s actually winning. but when you try to do it it’s all “no no that’s not how you play!”

you DO NOT want to play uno with hange. enough said

☆ makes impressions of people in public.

let’s say you’re in the car parked and you see a couple sitting on the bench talking.

she’ll give them names and make a voice and act what she thinks is their conversation.

it’s far funnier than it sounds.

if she sees a couple and their friend,

“eh barbra? i didn’t know you were gonna invite your annoying friend, you know how much i hate her!” she’d snicker while staring at the three people

and there’s actually times where you hate it bcs of how unserious she acts.

sometimes she would invite you along to voice someone else

and she would just sit and laugh like it’s the funniest thing ever!

annie:

☆ bargain queen

has coupons for everything in the whole wide world

she has all the apps for everyplace she goes so she’ll get some kind of deal.

her total at the grocery store would go from $135 to $80 bcs she’s a diehard user of coupons

she makes u use them as well and stuffs some in your wallet

she’s a karen for these things as well

if the price tag says it’s ‘$3.12’ then it’s ‘$3.12’ whether the seller says “well that’s last weeks price”

she’ll say “well maybe you should’ve changed it, how would the manager feel if i told them you’re not doing youre job?”

and she’d get it for $3.12

☆ greets an animal before she greets a person

if she seems someone she knows walking their dog she won’t even look at them let alone speak to them

she’ll crouch and pet the dog and start baby talking to them before she gets up and says something to the walker

she actually likes animals a lot

more than ppl

she’d have some kind of shirt displaying that as well

“im more of a dog person than a people person”

sasha:

☆ cant stay on track in a conversation

she could be talking to you about something she heard about someone. then she’ll be like, “speaking of her i remember when me and her went out for these awesome burgers.”

THEN she’ll say “wait because i was actually contemplating going vegan…. what do you think?”

the whole convo switches topics every 2 minutes or so.

you get so confused as to how the conversation went from work drama to when she thinks the world is going to end.

☆ takes the first bite of your food

it’s an unspoken rule.

she doesn’t even say “to test it for poison” she just does it because she wants

trying something new? she gets the first bite. you haven’t ate all day? she still gets the first bite. it’s your favorite food in the whole wide world? two words: first. bite.

and it’s not even a small bite, it’s the BIGGEST chomp she could take.

you’ve gotten so used to it that you don’t care. you just shove it in her face.

because if you were being honest if she just suddenly stopped you’d be concerned and sad.

ymir:

☆ cannot take some things seriously

she could be out w you at a restaurant and see this waiter’s name on their tag

“gaylord”

it’s not even pronounced “gay lord” but “gaylerd”

she’ll turn around and start hysterically laughing she doesn’t even care that the waiters right there

you can tell her a story from work or something that’s completely serious and she’ll still laugh no matter what

☆ lies out of her ass for no reason

you could tell her you tried some cool new exotic food and she’ll be like

“oh i had that when i was 5 and i almost died because i’m allergic to the spices in it”

and it’s kind of obvious it’s a lie but you don’t even say anything bcs she rides hard to defend herself and say it’s the truth

she’ll even go as far as editing photos and calling other people so it would be more believable

she sometimes doesn’t even lie to be funny but just out of habit

these aren’t bad kind of lies and she tells the truth when needed but she still b lyin..

pieck:

☆ cannot save money for her life

she can put aside some money for important stuff and it would be gone in a flash

worst part is the money is wasted on totally useless stuff

like finger puppets

what are you gonna do with finger puppets when you’re stranded for miles?

tries harder to not let it happen

then it happens again and she tries to justify it by saying that maybe a corn butterer was a great investment

(it wasn’t)

☆ can sleep anywhere at anytime

we all know this don’t we…

but it’s horrible

restaurants, floor, toilet

she could probably go to sleep in the club if she’s tired enough

she doesn’t look dead when she sleeps (unlike connie)

she looks very calm whether she’s in a deep sleep or taking a power nap

and she probably gets a decent amount of sleep at night, she just naps bcs… she wants to?

♡

a/n: at least 3 of these stories are actually real things i’ve faced with friends and family LOL so this is so funny to me. some of these aren’t even beige flags and are lowkey hcs, let’s just pretend alr!

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babydollmarauders · 1 year

Text

TEENAGER IN LOVE — TREVOR ZEGRAS

trevor zegras x fem! hughes!reader

pt. 2

request: “hi! can i request something with trevor zegras with the prompts 20 and 23 please? thanks sm!! 💗”

20. “can we stay like this forever?”

23. “sleep over? please?”

summary: in which y/n reminisces on how her and Trevor started their secret relationship.

notes: i changed up prompt 23 a little bit to make it fit better, i hope that’s okay!

i was listening to Teenager in Love by Madison Beer quite a bit while writing this so…

Trevor and y/n are in an established relationship during the first little “present” scene.

reader is 20 in the present and 19 in the flashback.

**PRESENT**

i’ve never felt comfortable on planes. it doesn’t matter where i’m sat or what i’m wearing or who i’m with, i don’t like planes. my family knows this, my friends know this, anyone who will listen to me talk knows this, my brother however, simply does not care. and now i’m stuck on the Devils charter plane, not even sat next to Jack because he’s busy sat next to Dougie, talking about some video game they both play. so i’m left beside Jesper Bratt, who’s already asleep after only being in the air for maybe half an hour.

i didn’t intend to even tag along on this road game to California, but i moved in with Jack a couple months ago and he apparently didn’t trust me to stay in New Jersey by myself, citing his reasoning as “i don’t want any chance of you having boys in this apartment.” but the joke is on him, because he’s really just providing me with a trip to see the only guy he should be remotely worried about, Trevor.

as the only girl, growing up with three brothers, they’ve always been a bit overprotective. and by a bit, i mean a lot. even Luke, who’s a year younger than me, has had his fair share of threatening guys “in the name of my safety.” all of their friends have gotten the “if you even so much as look at my sister, i’ll make sure you never see anything again” spiel, and for a good nineteen years, their friends respected that. until Jack’s best friend, Trevor, and i were left alone for a night at the lake house last summer.

**FLASHBACK**

all the guys have left for a party down the road, they even took Luke along with them for his first party as an eighteen year old, and i’m looking forward to a quiet night of watching romcom’s on the couch with no judgment and no one complaining that “that would never happen in real life!”

decked out in one of Quinn’s oversized Canucks shirts, pajama shorts, and some fuzzy socks; i’m lounged on the couch, wrapped in a fuzzy blanket burrito. i’m just about to hit play on a movie on netflix when the front door opens and shuts and i hear footsteps getting closer to the living room. averting my gaze from the tv, i look over in time to see Trevor freeze in the doorway to the living room, and i become acutely aware of my current state of no makeup and probably looking like a dork with my blanket draped over the top of my head.

i’ve never had a problem acting normal around any of my brothers’ friends. usually, they’re all just like extended family, unwanted additional older brothers. except Trevor. when Jack first brought him home during their USNTDP days, i immediately got a schoolgirl crush. and unlike usual crushes, it’s only gotten worse with time. luckily, Quinn and Jack have never seemed to notice my awkward and shy behavior when Trevor is around, but Luke has and he’s made it his mission to send me scowls and snicker at my misfortune whenever it happens.

“oh hey.” he cocks his head in one those ‘sup’ nods and takes a glance towards the tv screen before fixing his gaze back on me.

“hey. what are you doing back already? are the others coming back too? i can go back into my room. i don’t wanna be a bother or anything.” cue the embarrassing rambles.

“nah, it’s just me. feeling kinda homesick, i don’t really wanna be at a party tonight.” he shrugs his shoulder and sits on the arm of the couch next to me. “whatcha watching?”

“oh, i was just gonna watch a romcom, but it’s fine, i can watch it in my room. you can have the tv if you want.” i have to crane my neck some to look up at him from my spot. “i can leave you alone.”

i start to stand up, still wrapped in my blanket burrito when Trevor grabs the back of the blanket and tugs me back down onto the couch. he stands and walks in front of me before taking a spot on the cushion next to me.

“so, what romcom are we watching?” he asks, kicking his legs up on the coffee table in front of us.

“you don’t have to watch it. we can watch something else, if you want.”

trevor’s only answer comes in actions, grabbing the remote from my hands and clicking play on the movie. i don’t bother to fight him anymore, allowing myself to get sucked into the movie instead.

i’m sat rigid throughout the entire movie, keeping aware of my limbs, not letting any stray too far towards the cushion beside me. and about halfway through the movie i remember how weird i must look and move the blanket onto my lap instead of wrapped around me. i can barely focus on anything other than the fact that Trevor is sitting next to me. the fact that i can smell his sandalwood cologne. that if i were to lay my hand next to me, i would almost be touching him.

once the movie ends, i expect him to put on something for himself or even just go to his room, but instead he turns to look at me.

“you okay?” he asks. my eyes widen slightly before i catch myself and revert them back to normal.

“yeah, why?” i try to sound calm, but my voice is slightly shaky, and i’m just hoping he didn’t notice.

“you seem uncomfortable. did i make you uncomfortable? did i do something?” i shake my head a little too violently for someone who’s supposed to be calm.

“no! i’m not uncomfortable! why would you think that? i’m cool.”

oh my god people who are cool do not say ‘i’m cool’, what is wrong with me? he chuckles and i can’t help the small smile that breaks out on my face at the sound.

“i was just checking.” he puts his hands up in a surrendering gesture. “we should play a game.”

“what game did you have in mind?”

“truth or dare? i don’t know, i’m just bored.”

“sure.” i have a feeling this will not end great for me, but i’m not about to let him know that.

“okay. truth or dare?” we turn and sit criss-cross on the couch, facing each other properly as i weigh my options.

“truth.” safest option. he takes a second to think about his question.

“okay, i got one. does it ever annoy you, how overprotective your brothers can be?”

“oh yeah. one hundred percent. they have all these rules for me; don’t drink unless we’re with you, no dating until you’re 30, don’t leave the house unless you tell us where you’re going, don’t crush on any of our friends. it’s overwhelming sometimes. and i can never stick up for myself because they’re so quick to hurt whoever hurts me, which is nice, yes, but it’s definitely taken a toll on how i present myself. it’s made me shy and my friends say i can be a crybaby sometimes because i’ve never had to handle problems on my own. like, don’t get me wrong, i’m grateful for my brothers, they’re always there for me, but sometimes it’s just too much. ya know?”

he nods, genuinely seeming interested in what i had to say, and my heart flutters.

“i can’t say i understand because i’m the older brother in my family, but i can imagine it can be difficult sometimes.”

“anyways, truth or dare?” he ponders his options before choosing dare. “i dare you to text the guys and tell them you just watched a romcom. and you CAN’T say it was with me.”

he groans and lets his head drop back for a few seconds before pulling his phone out of his pocket and typing for a minute. turning the screen so i can see what he just wrote, he lets me press the send button.

To: Jack-Attack, Huggy Bear, Moosey Hughes

just watched this great romcom on netflix called Set It Up. you guys should watch it. 10/10

i let my own head drop back in laughter and let out an ugly cackle.

“truth or dare? you evil little witch” his mocking insult rolls straight off my back when i see the smile on his face.

“truth again.” i shrug when he raises an eyebrow at my safe choice.

“have you ever broken any of your brothers rules?” my mind short circuits. there’s only one rule i’ve broken, and that’s by liking him. do i admit that? or do i just say no? technically, he didn’t say i have to say which rule i’ve broken, so-

“yes. but you can’t tell them that i have! it has to be our secret! they’d pester me to no end until they found out which one i broke!”

“okay, our secret. promise.” he holds his pinky out, waiting for me to link it with my own. a pinky swear. how adorable. fuck. i bring my own hand up, linking my pinky with his before breaking away and setting my hand back in my lap.

“truth or dare?” i ask.

“truth.” i take a few seconds to think of a question. how is this harder to think of than coming up with a dare?

“what’s your favorite part about the off season?” it’s a relatively boring question, but the first one i thought of.

“oh that’s easy. coming here. i love spending time with you guys.” more heart flutters, i may need to get that checked out. “truth or dare?”

“don’t kill me; truth.” i joke and he laughs again.

“i should’ve expected that, shouldn’t i? alright, if you wanna keep doing truth, i’m just gonna dig deeper and deeper until you tell me your darkest secret, y/n. which rule did you break?” my stomach drops. can i forfeit? can i plead the fifth? is that a thing that you can do in truth or dare? i wouldn’t know, this is my first time playing. i think i’m just gonna have to say it. it’s not like he’ll ever know it’s him.

“you can’t tell them! remember that!” i remind him before admitting- “having a crush on one of their friends.”

his jaw drops and he lets out a completely fake gasp.

“that is not what i was expecting. i expected you to say the drinking rule or the telling them where you go rule. how scandalous, y/n! a forbidden romance!” his jokes make me feel slightly better, at least he’s not judging me.

“yeah, yeah! it’s not like i’m dating the guy.” i defend myself. “truth or dare, Zegras?”

“dare, i’m feeling adventurous.”

“i dare you to go in Jacks room and steal my book back for me. he took it away from me because he said reading was boring and this trip isn’t allowed to be boring.” he bursts out in laughter, barely able to form words for a few minutes before he speaks again.

“oh you’ve got me doing your dirty work for you! i respect it!” he leaps up from the couch and within a couple minutes he’s back on the couch, my book in his hand. he tosses it on my lap and throws a wink my way. “one book for the lady.”

“my sanity thanks you. i can’t start another book until i’ve finished this one and it was killing me slowly.”

“truth or dare? although, i don’t know why i bother asking at this point.” i roll my eyes at his sarcasm and decide to throw him a curveball. mostly for myself though because i have a feeling i know what his next question would be if i pick truth.

“dare.” he grins, and for a second i regret my choice.

“i dare you to tell me which friend you were or are crushing on. c’mon, i can keep your secret.” he asked it anyways. what the hell. i don’t think you can do that. can you do that?

“that’s basically a truth! i picked dare! that’s cheating!”

“it is not!” now it’s his turn to defend himself. “i DARED you to tell me! i promise i won’t judge you, or laugh, or tell your brothers!”

oh god, i’m gonna have to tell him, aren’t i? i mean, i could always just say one of the other guys. i could say Alex, he’s always been the sweetest to me, so i’m sure Trevor would believe it. but then he might say something. it’s not that i wouldn’t trust him to keep it a secret if i say someone else, but Trevor has a big mouth, and sometimes he talks without thinking. he could slip up. so it’s smarter not to lie, to avoid any trouble or confusion. so i close my eyes and count to ten before i say it. here goes nothing.

“you.” i still don’t open my eyes. too afraid of his reaction. but now he’s quiet and i don’t like the silence. oh god, is he disgusted? is he trying trying to figure out how to let me down gently? “don’t get weird. you don’t have to say anything. you can just forget you heard that. pretend you didn’t hear any-“

i’m cut off by his mouth crashing down onto mine. i freeze, overthinking everything, before eventually melting into the kiss. moving my lips against his. it’s slow and sweet, and not at all the reaction i was expecting from him. we pull apart and i allow my eyes to flutter back open, watching his face as he slowly breathes in and out. he catches my eye and a wide grin spreads across his face.

“i’ve wanted to do that since high school.” his hands grip my hips and i let him pull me onto his lap, straddling him. butterflies are flying around in my stomach and my heart is pounding against my chest, but i let my body relax into his.

“really?”

“yeah.” he confirms, leaning his forehead against my own. “the first time Jack had me over to your house, he gave this whole lecture about how you were off limits. and i thought ‘no problem.’ but then i saw you, and i got to know you, and it turned out to be a big problem. you’re so beautiful, and then you turned to be this sweet, funny, amazing girl. and god, i could not get you out of my head. i still can’t.”

this time it’s my turn to plant a kiss on his lips, this one a chaste peck. i slouch down and lay my head on his chest, wrapping my arms around his waist.

“can we stay like this forever?” i ask, but before he can answer, his phone buzzes on the cushion beside us, and he picks it up and curses.

“Jack just texted to say they’ll be home soon. he said Cole is wasted and they need to put him to bed.” i pull back and nod my head, moving to get off him. but he wraps his arms around my middle and holds us chest-to-chest. “do you want me to tell him you’re asleep? you can come in my room. we can just cuddle, nothing else necessary. but i just got you, and now i just wanna hold you.”

i smile and nod again, silently saying a thank you to whatever higher entity above granted me such luck as to have him like me back.

“yeah, i’d like that.” we get off the couch and make our way to his room, remembering to turn the tv off on our way out of the living room. he opens the door to his room and allows me to enter first before he comes in.

“you can go ahead and lay down, i’m just gonna change into some sweats first.” he walks over to his opened suitcase on the floor and pulls out a pair of grey sweatpants and a t-shirt before leaving the room, going into the bathroom across the hall. i do as he says and lay down on his bed, on my side facing the door.

it’s not but a moment after he gets back into the room and shuts the door, that we hear the front door of the house open and shut, followed by multiple pairs of footsteps and some mumbling.

“jesus Cole, you could help me out here and actually move your feet.” i can hear Quinn say as he passes by Trevor’s door, i’m assuming helping Cole to his room. Trevor snickers and comes over to the bed, clicking off the lamp before laying down behind me and putting his arm around my middle, pulling me close against him. after about 15 minutes i can feel his breath start to even out, and i look over my shoulder to see his eyes fluttering open and shut, obviously having trouble staying awake.

“you can go to sleep, Trev. i’ll go to my room once i know they’re all in theirs.” i whisper.

“no. sleep over here? please? i wanna hold you tonight.” his voice is soft and low so we don’t get caught, but also laced with sleepiness. i shake my head.

“what if one of them finds us in the morning? you know how my brothers will react.” at my words, he pulls his phone out of his sweatpants pocket and taps a few times before leaning over me and plugging it in on the nightstand.

“there. i set an alarm for 7am. you know the guys won’t even wake up before 10, so that gives us plenty of time for you to go back to your room before they can catch us.” i sigh and snuggle back into him.

“alright. i’ll sleep in here.” he plants a kiss on an exposed spot between my neck and shoulder and i can feel his smile on my skin.

#trevor zegras #trevor zegras imagine #trevor zegras x reader #nhl imagine #nhl fic #faithlynn’s writings <3 #babydollmarauders #anaheim ducks #teenage dream au <3

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spider-brained-manthing · 7 months

Text

Like Heaven (ftm!Miguel O’Hara x ftm!reader)

Reposting this because for some reason it wasn’t showing up in the tags last time????

Warnings: nsfw, semi-public fucking, implied switch ftm Miguel, vaguely implied switch ftm reader, praise, begging, edging, implied that Miguel has had a crush on the reader

18+, mdni

Fic under cut

Miguel O’Hara was three things: one of your closest friends in the Spider-society, incredibly attractive, and your boss. This situation was not helped by the fact that he was also one of the first other Spiders you met and who helped you when he found you in a shitty situation back in your universe. While you also loved the other Spiders you were close with, Miguel seemed to stand out to you the most, and it wasn’t just the previous things, nor was it just his tall frame, his eyes that seemed to shift between red and dark brown, his sharp fangs, or his stupidly perfect hair.

No. For some reason, he seemed as equally drawn to you as you were to him. He seemed more protective of you than he did of any of the other Spiders he especially cared for. Even Peter. Even Jess, who was in a much more vulnerable state than you, what with her being an expecting mother.

Whenever you were in HQ and Miguel had a free moment, he sought you out. If you were in the cafeteria, there he was, approaching your table silently with a tray containing food you knew he’d offer most of to you. In the gym at HQ? Miguel was there, helping you with tough exercises, or sometimes just watching you while he did his own thing.

You sometimes wondered if he knew something was about to happen.

After three, maybe four, months of this, you got up the courage to ask Miguel about what he was doing. A perfect opportunity came up when he called you to his office and you knew no one else would probably be there.

Your footsteps echoed loudly in the dark empty, alone except for yourself, the machinery, and the to-go order of empanadas you got for yourself and Miguel. Of course, you knew Miguel was probably watching you walk to his office; he always did that whenever someone went to talk to him there.

Miguel’s platform was already lowering itself towards the ground when you you get to his office. You stood maybe fifty feet away from where the platform would land, not wanting to rush the conversation too much.

You watched as the tall man hopped off of his platform and walked closer to you. As friendly offering, you lifted the to-go box with the empanadas a bit higher.

“That’s… not necessary.” Miguel’s eyes flitted to the box, but despite his words, the corners of his mouth tugged up in an almost smile.

“Here, take them. I don’t care what you do with them when I leave, but don’t make me carry them all day.” You tossed the box to Miguel with a smile, and he caught it effortlessly. He placed it on a chair on his platform.

“Thanks for coming in on such short notice.” Miguel said when he returned his gaze back to you.

“No problem.” You shifted nervously. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something anyway.”

“Oh, really? What do you need to tell me?” The other man’s eyes quickly looked you over once.

You felt yourself blush, but you went on anyway. “I was just gonna ask you something but I’m sure it’s not as important as what you called me here for.”

“You can ask now.”

“Are you sure?”

Miguel raised eyebrow. “Just go ahead and ask. The reason I called you here can wait.”

“Oh. Uh. I just… noticed, that you’ve been actively spending a lot of time with me compared to the others, and I guess I just want to know why.”

Miguel raised both eyebrows this time. “Come here, I have something to show you. Maybe this will help explain.” He beckoned you to follow him to his platform, and you obliged.

One screen showed a video of a couple who, upon closer inspection, closely resembled you and Miguel, but clearly from another universe.

“What’s this?” You asked, your voice nearly failing. You couldn’t deny that you really liked Miguel, maybe that you were attracted to him.

“This is us. Well, a version of us anyway. I found out about them just a few months ago. They’re from earth-483.”

You realized that Miguel might have started paying closer attention to you around the same tile he discovered this couple that was you and him in another universe. Without meaning to, you leaned closer to the screen.

The pair on the screen looked fancy, almost like… almost like they were getting married. You looked back at Miguel, more confused than before.

“Maybe I should explain more. On earth-483, we got married, even had a kid.” Miguel looked at you, must have seen your initial reaction before it slipped off your face. “I know, I know. Just because they’re versions of us doesn’t make them exactly like us.”

“I know.” You gave Miguel an amused smile. “But this doesn’t really explain anything.”

Miguel sighed and moved closer to you. “I haven’t been able to get you out of my mind, you know. When I found out about this version of us, happy and together, I knew it wasn’t just a random feeling.” You could almost feel Miguel’s body, a presence that felt warm, steady, and strong.

Your breath caught in your throat. “Miguel, do you even hear what you’re saying? They’re from the same dimension as each other, we’re not.”

“I know.” Miguel’s voice got quiet. “Trust me.”

“I trust you, but I don’t think I quite understand you.”

“Then let me explain.” Normally when he said something like this, Miguel would be annoyed or pissed, but this time, he seemed to be neither of those things. His hot breath hit the back of your breath, and suddenly everything made sense.

You were attracted to him too, but you knew you had to be careful. Miguel’s hands crept around your torso and you grabbed them. You didn’t force him away, but you didn’t know how far this would go.

Still, you felt a warm, fluttery feeling just below your stomach. Miguel’s hands slowly went lower, and you didn’t stop him. Soon, his hands found the hem of the top half of your Spider suit and immediately plunged underneath the fabric.

“Is this okay?” Miguel asked, lips ghosting against the back of your neck. You repressed a moan and nodded.

“This is okay.” You said quietly. Immediately, Miguel’s hands started moving back up your torso, but this time underneath your suit. His warm hands felt almost like Heaven against your skin.

“This would be better off.” Miguel muttered, so the two of you shimmied the top half of your suit off. Miguel had you turn around so he could see more of you. His eyes lingered on your top surgery scars for a moment but that didn’t change anything about his expression or demeanor.

“What are you doing?” You asked again. Miguel moved in even closer. He put his hands on your waist and held you firmly. You watched as the top half of his suit melted away, leaving his chest bare. You were pleasantly surprised to see the surgical scars on his chest that matched yours.

The warmth of the sudden chest to chest contact made everything Miguel did, every seemingly out of place word he uttered, make sense. Through the parts of your respective shits that remained on, you felt the heat between Miguel’s legs.

Slowly, Miguel slid one hand behind the waistband of your suit. His fingers found their way through the fabric of your underwear, and to your swollen tdick. Your hips automatically responded to the pleasure, pressing against Miguel’s fingers.

“May I remove this?” Miguel asked, his breath once again hitting your neck.

“Yes. Please.” You moaned. Miguel’s hands slowly worked your pants down your legs. You attempted to help him, but he swatted your hands away.

Miguel’s height made it so that he had to crouch to get your pants below your knees. It seemed like he kept on almost getting distracted by your glistening tdick and your warm folds, but his hands kept pushing your pants down until they reached your ankles. Miguel helped you kick your pants to the side.

The man’s warm tongue flicked against your clit the moment your feet were planted again. Your hands tangled themselves in Miguel’s perfect dark brown hair, and he clasped your thighs.

For a moment, you worried about someone hearing your needy whines, but that fear was quickly pushed down by the pleasure Miguel was giving you.

“A-ah, Miguel.” You whimpered out. The grip on your thighs tightened, as did the clasp your fingers held in Miguel’s hair.

“You’re such a good boy.” Miguel mumbled, not bothering to remove his mouth from your tdick. The heat of his breath and the vibration of his voice sent shockwaves nearly as strong as his tongue did.

One of Miguel’s hands moved from your thigh to your wet hole, which had been grinding on nothing since the other man started. You gasped when one, then two, of Miguel’s thick fingers managed their way in. You knew what was coming next but you still weren’t prepared for it.

Miguel curled his fingers and started pumping inside of you while his tongue continued to work its magic against your swollen tdick. Stars swam in your vision, clouded by immense pleasure. You started grinding against Miguel’s tongue and fingers, feeling yourself getting closer and closer to the edge. Clearly, Miguel knew this too. His motions slowed, the pumping not as forceful and the flicking of his tongue not as fast. You let out a whine, which caused Miguel to chuckle.

“Do you really think I’m gonna let you finish so easily?” Miguel teased before planting a kiss and a soft bite on your inner thigh. He removed his fingers, a wet noise coming when they fully pulled out. He rose to his feet and, with his unused hand, cleared and turned off the consoles on the platform.

Miguel pulled you back closer to him and give you a warm kiss on the lips. You were so desperate with need that even the quick kiss brought you intense pleasure.

“You’re so cute like this, I almost want to just hold you forever.” Miguel smiled and gave you another kiss. You blushed deeply.

Miguel grabbed your ass with one hand and held you closer to him. You placed one of your hands on his waist, the other creeping down to his welcoming folds.

“May I?” You ask, your lips pressed against Miguel’s neck, when your hand reaches his hard tdick.

“Yes please.” Miguel purred. “Good boy.”

Your fingers plunged into his folds, spreading his slick and targeting wherever you figured might feel good. Miguel’s breathing quickened, as did yours, and he let out moans that reverberated throughout your entire body.

Without thinking, you slid two fingers inside Miguel’s hole, just as he’d done to you. The man let out a growl of pleasure, and you started targeting his g-spot. His moans sounded like heaven in your ears.

Miguel’s fingers wrapped themselves in your hair, and he held you in such a way that your face couldn’t escape his neck if you tried.

“Let’s do something more, mi vida.” Miguel whispered.

“Yes please.” You whisper back. Miguel smiled and loosened his grip on you so he could grab something from a nearby drawer.

“Normally, I’d ask what position you’d prefer, but I want to hear your pretty moans again.” Miguel said, punctuating his words with kisses to your neck.

He pulled away from you for a moment, and you saw the strap on and harness in his hands. He got it on quickly- clearly he’d had experience with this before, which made you just the slightest bit jealous- and pushed you against one of the switched off consoles. He lifted your bare legs with ease and placed them over his shoulders.

“Is this okay?” Miguel asked before he positioned the strap on for insertion. You nodded, and Miguel rubbed the rim of your needy hole with one finger to prepare you for when he put the thick strap on.

You gasped when you felt the silicon member push itself deep into your hole. Miguel chuckled and caressed your face gently.

“Are you ready, mi amor?” Miguel asked, and you nodded, desperate for him to start fucking into you.

Immediately, Miguel started thrusting. Loud whines and moans escaped from your lips, and Miguel raised one hand and placed on your chin. His thumb caressed your bottom lip.

“Taking me so well.” Miguel mumbled, his speech slurred by pleasure.

“Thank you, sir.” You whined out. Miguel smiled and kept pounding into you.

Miguel planted kisses all along your jawline and neck, each kiss bringing out another whine. He gripped your waist tight and kept you pinned against the console. Not that you’d try to get out from underneath him if you could.

There was that feeling again, the one of slowly approaching the edge. Miguel smirked and brought one hand to your tdick and started rubbing. The extra pleasure only made your noises even louder.

“Please.” You whimpered.

“Please what?” Miguel said, his hot breath and lips hitting the sensitive skin of your neck.

“Please let me finish.” You begged.

Miguel smiled against your skin and kept rubbing your swollen tdick. His thrusting picked up, harder and faster and you lost control. You let out one last loud moan, and your hole clenched against Miguel’s strap on.

Miguel finished just a moment later, his own tdick having been stimulated by the back end of the strap on. He pulled out and gave you another kiss on the lips.

“Let’s go get cleaned up, shall we?” Miguel said, grabbing your hand as the two of you helped each other back into your clothes.

#miguel o'hara #spiderverse #atsv #across the spiderverse #spider man: across the spider verse #miguel o’hara x reader #miguel o'hara x male reader

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sunsetandthemoon · 1 year

Note

saw in your tags you mentioned earthmix were in a serious fight while filming moonlight chicken? what's the story there? (ty in advance if you answer this and np if you don't :) )

Hii. Ok, so, while I do follow them on Instagram and Twitter, I never noticed anything until they talked about it during the MLC promo a few weeks ago, so I definitely don't know the full story, but here is a short summary of all the information that I’ve managed to gather from Twitter.

Apparently, there was a 4-5 month period last year where Earth and Mix were fighting (so-called their “divorce era”). It started with them going from constantly hanging out together to never interacting with each other anymore and fans quickly noticed something was up. Then this video from the MLC set was posted and it only further fueled all the speculations (it looks like a perfectly normal video to me tbh but to some, it looked like Mix was angry or like he was sulking 🤷)

They also had a few work events during that time and fans reported a noticeable tension between them. There was also a lot of subtweeting and indirecting on their social media including posts like this:

which is funny considering this is how they described each other in an interview once

("am I still your flower" is absolutely sending me 💀)

some more Mix retweets x/x

Earth even posted this on his insta story

and then, during the Oishi Magic Of Zero trip, they seemed to have finally gone back to their normal selves (x)

they even acknowledged the fight and said that they had made up and that everything was okay between them again (x/x)

and everyone was happy for them including P'Godji who posted this video (x)

Mix even posted this on his story

which may or may not have been a reference to this scene from ATOTS

then, during their interviews recently, they talked a bit more about their fight (x) (their poor manager 😭)

and P'Aof even teased them about it by saying "the hard part for me is, I wanna work with them when they aren’t fighting with each other" when EM were asked what were the easy/hard parts of working together on three different series (x)

speaking of P’Aof, I need to include this bit from MLC bts where he forgot Jim and Wen weren’t supposed to kiss each other during their sex scene in ep1 because it’s just so funny like dhfjhsdjkd

P‘Aof: *after watching them unnecessarily devour each other five takes in a row while knowing damn well they’re in the middle of their divorce era* “whoops my bad 🤭 please don’t kill me” 😂😂😂😂

(x)

anyway - TLDR - Moonlight Chicken was filmed during their divorce era and they were spending their days filming scenes like this

only to then go home and start subtweeting and shading each other online at the end of the day 😂

but they're making up for it now by being inseparable and constantly posting about each other. there are too many moments to link but here are some honorable mentions: x/x/x/x

including these posts from last night x/x

#anonymous #earthmix #moonlight chicken #oh man you should see my twitter search now after trying to find all these tweets dhfjkdshk #big shoutout to YILOVEY for always providing all the translations #i couldn't find more indirects but i know there are a lot more since i saw people talking about them #they really said yes we're having a fight and we'll make it everyone's problem lmaoo

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bteezxyewriter12 · 1 year

Text

Daddy/ 7

Pairing- Namjoon x Named Reader

Word count- 3.2k

Includes- Stepdad Namjoon, "Dumb/naive" reader, reader name not used- instead called "baby"or "bunny", all are of consenting age, corruption, Oral, pussy eating, blow job, deepthroating, cum eating, sex from behind, consented somnophilia, riding, choking, missionary, squirting, multiple orgasms, choking scare, minute smidge of fluff

Tag List- @mingtina @jaxxmine @yeosayang @delightfulmoonbanana @tannie13 @y00nzin0 @marsstarxhwa

@borntowalkaway @soulseobi05 @kpop-bambi @seokwoosmole @meowmeowminnie @nctzennikki09 @mrcarrots @yoonallthetime @namjooningera @quinsly @kendranicole1996 @jacobhey @wolfgurl2600-blog @mrskimjoon @svnbangtansworld @taeluv13 @effielumiere @moonchild-qaads @kitinae

Masterlists- check out for more fics

📝Daddy Masterlist 📝Masterlists

📝BTS Masterlist

📝Namjoon Masterlist

3 weeks later

Namjoon POV

"Our revenue has increased substantially since the release of the teaser for The Astronaut porn", Seonghwa says, "We have doubled in subscriptions, especially in the top tier subscription"

"That's good", I say, then lick her little clit, her body shaking on my bed

Looking up at her, I smirk at the way her eyes are screwed shut in pleasure

She learned from the last time she interrupted me during a call

She came into my room while I'm taking this phone conference call and her eyes opened so wide, immediately turning and leaving the room

Since she wasn't making a scene, I decided to let her stay

I muted the call, telling her to get on my bed

Then I gagged her with one of my ties because she's loud and I can't have that

It was bad enough the guys saw her fucking me on the video call

I don't need them to hear her on the phone too

I started eating her out, leaving the phone on speaker and on her tummy but she kept moving her hands and knocking it over

So I tied her arms together and to the bed using another one of my ties

Now she's gagged and bound, quiet and I'm liking this a lot

"Seems many people want to experience the whole thing with music, the YouTube videos, the series and so on", Jimin says smugly

"Seems so", I answer, delving my tongue in her tiny hole and feeling her throb on it, sending pleasure right to my hard cock

This cunt is so wet, so fucking sloppy and I'm so here for it

I fuck into her hole a few times before dragging my tongue up, licking her throbbing bump

"Mmm", she moans, the tie muffling her sounds

Sliding my fingers in between her lips, I hold her clit between them, licking over and over, dragging the flat of my tongue to the tip on her

Her thighs shake, her breasts heaving as she breathes around my tie

Muting the phone, I tell her, "Cum for me, right now"

Swiping my tongue over her clit, her body arches as she cums for the third time, moaning, her hands pulling on the tie hard

Letting go of her clit, I lick her hole, tasting her cream

So fucking good

I keep forgetting how much I love how she tastes

I don't go down on her as often as I should but every time I do, I remember why I like doing it

I don't eat her cunt for her but for me because she has the best cunt I ever tasted

Slipping my tongue up, I wrap my lips around her clit, sucking hard as I slip three fingers inside her

One more

Need to taste her one more time before I fuck her

As I move my mouth, I plunge into her, her pussy sucking me in, my fingertips rubbing on her spot

She calls me in her muffled voice, her body shaking hard

"Such a good cunt for me", I praise her

San is talking about the various video he put up for the movie trailer and the ad revenue we get from those videos is doing well

I'm listening but right now I'm too into her pussy to speak

My hand is soaked, her tight cunt squeezing my fingers desperately, like the whore she is

She's close

Increasing my sucking, I go hard and as soon as she orgasms, I pull my fingers out, replacing them with my tongue

She clenches down on my tongue, her cream coating it as I close my eyes, reveling in her taste

I swallow over and over, wanting all of it

Every single drop

After licking her clean, I sit up, flipping her over on her stomach

"Up", I demand

She moves on her knees bending forward as her hands are still tied, her legs already spread for me

My good slut knows what I want

I take a second to watch her juice slip from her cunt down her thighs, her tiny hole clenching around nothing

"Mm bunny, want daddy's cock?"

She nods, holding onto the tie so hard

"Want daddy to fuck that cunt stupid? Split you open"

"Mmm hmmm", she cries

"Good girl"

Shoving my cock inside her, I push hard, feeling her tight pussy stretch around me

I swear this is the best pussy I've fucked and that's because it's mine

I made this pussy into my personal cock sleeve, wearing her everyday

She knows what I like, what I want and does it every time

I start off thrusting into her, the wet sound of her cunt taking my cock, creaming my cock, so musical

I need to record that sound one day

I watch the white cream around my dick, a thick ring of it accumulating at the base of my cock, her stretched little hole smeared in it too

Fucking hot

"Fuck my cock bunny", I tell her, stopping my movements

She takes over, sliding along my length, bottoming me out and taking me in deeply, feeling so good

"Ohhh", she gasps, moving faster, her skin slapping loudly against mine

I have no idea what we're talking about on the conference call right now, all I can focus on is her pussy opening for me over and over

Her breathing is turning into gasps, long moans coming from her as her cunt pulses around my dick

"I'm gonna cum", I choke out, pleasure assaulting my body

"Hmmm", she nods, taking me all in, grinding on my cock, against my pelvis, her cum hole clenching in a death grip over and over

"I...I can't...", I moan, not able to hold back

Ecstacy hits me as I cum, her pussy sucking my cock as she grinds on me

"Bunny, fuck...so good"

Jesus

After emptying into her cunt, I pull out, laying down on my back as I breath hard

She calls me softly and when I look at her, she shows me her hands, asking to untie her with her eyes

I actually forgot she was tied up

Leaning over, I undo my tie, her hands dropping to the bed

She sits up, taking off the gag too as I pick up my phone and focus on the conference

"...planning on starting to shoot the movie in three days", Jimin says

"Everything is set up for a smooth filming?", I ask

"Of course Namjoon. I'm not incompetent", Jimin snaps

"It's my job to question you", I answer, rolling my eyes

Jimin starts ranting and I'm about to go off when I hear a very quiet, soft, "Daddy"

Looking at her, she's crawling in-between my legs

What does she want now?

She keeps her eyes on me, her hand around my dick, pumping me slowly

I watch her lean down, her tongue licking around head, pleasure slowly seeping in my body

Muting the phone, I ask, "Can't get enough of daddy's cock huh?"

She shakes her head, taking my tip in her mouth, sucking softly, her hand still moving

And I'm getting hard again

"Love your cock daddy", she whispers, taking more of me in her mouth

"So what is it you want now bunny?"

"Want to suck you off and swallow your cum"

I groan at her words, "Fuck bunny, you know what daddy likes"

She nods, sucking harder

Not gonna lie she's so pretty with my cock in her mouth

Like her mouth belongs around my cock

Just like her pussy does

"Well you're lucky I love coming down your throat", I answer, "Suck daddy's cock. Make me cum"

She nods, her hand leaving my cock as she deepthroats me, her throat so tight

Moving my hand in her hair, I bob her head up and down, moaning in bliss

She sucks as she moves along my length, shivers running up my spine

"So good bunny"

"Ok well that's all for this meeting", someone says on the call, "We can meet in a month or so to talk about the progress"

The others on the call agree and then hang up

I toss my phone on the nightstand, finally able to completely focus on my stepdaughter blowing me

Tears are falling from her eyes but she's not stopping, fucking her throat on my cock, knowing this gives me intense pleasure

She swallows on my shaft, sending spikes of pleasure down my spine

"That's it bunny", I murmur, watching my cock enter her mouth over and over, "So good at sucking cock"

She should be, I trained her to be amazing at it

Moving faster, I feel myself right there

Shoving her head down, I hold her on my dick, listening to her choke as I cum into her mouth

"Yes Bunny. Fuck"

She moans, swallowing and sucking over and over, the pleasure so fucking incredible

She slows down her mouth as I finish, gently pulling off me, sitting up

She swallows a few times then looks up at me

"Yummy daddy"

"Fuck bunny", I mutter, exhausted

"Are you tired daddy?", she asks

I nod, "Yeah bunny. Daddy's tired"

She nods, "Ok. I'll go so you can sleep"

"Yeah sure"

A nap sounds like a good idea

I lay down as she gets up expecting her to just leave

Instead she bends down, picking up my blanket from the floor and putting it on me

Like she's tucking me in

I raise my eyebrow at her but she just smiles and says, "Have a good nap daddy"

Then she turns and leaves my room

And leaves me speechless

What the hell just happened?

Did she....sort of...take care of me?

Giving me a blanket isn't taking care of me right?

No, it's not

That settled, I close my eyes, relaxed and ready for a nap

---------------------------

Massive pleasure wakes me up and I snap my eyes open

The sight of my bunny bouncing desperately on my cock hits me full in the face, her cries of daddy filling my ears

And I can't help but smirk

"Mm bad girl", I say, groggily, "Fucking daddy's cock without asking"

She immediately stops, looking down at me

"Ssss..sorry daddy. You...you were still asleep and I came to check on you to make sure you were ok. I just... you were still sleeping but your cock was so hard"

"Was it baby?"

She nods, "The blanket was sticking up too. I...I touched you and I licked your cock but you didn't wake up"

I raise my eyebrows

I didn't feel a thing

"I sucked on you daddy but you were still sleeping and...and my pussy hurt. I tried to stay off for as long as I could but I couldn't anymore. I just...I just wanted to sit on your cock"

"So what happened baby?", I ask, "You sat on me with my cock up your cunt?"

She nods

"Then what? You were bouncing on me like a fucking whore when I woke up"

She pouts, looking down, "You we're throbbing inside and I couldn't help it"

"Uh huh", I say, "Slide up"

She does, keeping my head inside her

I bite my lip seeing the creamy mess she left on me

She came

I already know that

"How many times did you cum on daddy's cock without me knowing?"

Her cheeks turn red, "Three times"

"Three?", I repeat, surprised, "You're cunt was greedy huh?"

She nods, "Always for your cock daddy"

Yeah I know

Which is exactly what I want

"Were you working on a fourth orgasm baby?"

She nods again, "And I was trying to get daddy to cum inside me"

That's interesting

"Yeah? Why?"

"Because I love feeling daddy cum in my pussy. I love being full of daddy's cum"

"Huh. Well don't let me stop you"

I'm not upset

I told her that she could fuck me awake if there was an opportunity

I fuck her awake so many times and honestly waking up to that pleasure is the best way to wake up

"I...I can keep going?"

"You better. I want your cum hole to make my cock feel good"

She nods, "I will daddy. I promise"

"Go", I nod at her

She leans her hands on my abs as she squats, her legs pumping as she bounces up and down

Her fucking hole looks so good spreading wide open for my cock, her pussy lips so swollen, wrapped around my shaft

So pretty

Not to mention the pretty cream flowing from her pussy

I don't think I'll ever not love the sight of her cream all over me

Putting my hands behind my head, I watch her fuck me

I watch the way she moves her hips as she takes me in, her tummy bulging as she circles her hips fast, grinding on my head so it rubs against her spot, then slides up my dick, doing all the movements all over again

It's like she's dancing on my cock and it's mesmerizing

Her boobs are jiggling so much, her head tilted back, beads of sweat rolling down her body, pleasure on her face as her cunt chokes my cock

I can admit that she looks so good on me right now

Hot

Sexy

That's why I wanted to fuck her

Her looks and her stupidity

"Daddy", she gasps, her legs not stopping, pumping my cock in and out of her

"Yeah bunny, I feel you. Go ahead, make a mess on my cock"

She leans her hands back on my thighs as she takes me back in, wiggling and grinding on me

"Daddy! Oh god", she whimpers, so much pleasure hitting me hard as she orgasms

Her pussy floods my cock in squirt, running in my lap and spilling over on my bed

"So pretty bunny", I murmur, watching her cunt clench around me, "Love when this cunt squirts"

"Feels so good daddy", she moans, "Your cock always feels so good daddy"

I'm glad she feels that way because it means she'll fuck me more

And I'm all for that

When she finishes, she leans forward, her hand on my shoulder, breathing rapidly

And for some reason, I feel the need to fuck her

Pulling her off me, I throw her on her back, grabbing her ankles and shoving her legs towards her body, her legs spread, her little ass up off the bed, her cunt throbbing and waiting for me to fill her

Getting my head in her hole, I push in slowly, savoring the feel of her on my dick

Bottoming out, my body shivers as she latches on my dick, already pulsing pleasurably

Immediately I set a hard pace, watching that hole splitting open in with every thrust into her

As always she takes me perfectly, swallowing my cock like she can't get enough, moaning for me like a big whore

"Look at you", I growl, "Taking daddy's cock like a pro"

She nods, whimpering

"My little cock sleeve, always ready for my cock to wreck you"

"Yes daddy. Mmmmm yes"

"Love how this cunt throbs on me, sucking me in like you can't get enough"

"I can't", she moans, "I can't get enough of you daddy"

I know she can't

It's great

"Cum on daddy's cock, bunny", I demand, feeling her right there

Slamming her spot, she cries out, her body shaking as she orgasms

And I get the pleasure I want

I need more

Slamming her pussy, I fuck her hard and rough, making her cum three more times, the bliss I feel mounting with every orgasm

Thrusting into her tight hole, I wrap my hand around her neck, her cunt becoming impossibly tight

And I just smirk at her

She looks so fucked out, fucked stupid as she keeps taking the pounding I'm giving her

I choke her, her body shuddering, wet hole spasming so good on my length

"So good bunny. Pussy getting so tight", I tell her, letting her breathe

She opens her fucked out eyes, tears falling from them

"Need you to cum like that so I can fill this sloppy cum hole again"

She nods

I snap my hips hard over and over, choking her, feeling her so close

"C'mon you fucking slut. Cum on me so I can blow my load in this coming pussy", I demand

Her pussy locks on my cock, coming and pumping around my cock, the pleasure outstanding

"Fuck", I yell, slamming my dick into her, immediately blowing my load into her orgasming cunt, "Yes fucking whore, milk my cock. Take all my cum, slut"

The pleasure lasts, making me shake as I ride it out inside her

When I finally finish, I relax and realize I haven't let go to her neck yet

Shit

Letting her go, she gasps in air, choking as she tries to sit up

I panic a little, helping her up, her whole face red

"Are you ok?", I ask worriedly, "Bunny are you ok?"

I may not care about her pleasure and I definitely use her for sex but I don't want to hurt her

I use women, I'm an asshole but I don't hurt them

She sucks in air, coughing a little

"Bunny?"

"I...I'm ok", she gasps out, "I think...I think I need to lay down for a minute..I...I feel dizzy"

"Yeah sure", I nod, helping her lay down on a pillow, my eyes widening when I see my fingerprints on the sides of her neck

Fuck, I choked her harder than I thought I did

I've never went that hard on her or any girl when I choke them

How the fuck did I lose control?

She turns on her side, her eyes squeezed shut, trying to get her breathing under control

I actually feel bad but I don't know what to do to help

"Bunny?"

"I'm ok", she croaks, "I...I'll get up in a minute to leave daddy"

"It's ok bunny, take your time. I...I didn't mean to hurt you"

"It's ok daddy. I know you didn't mean it", she breathes

Even though she said it's ok, I still feel bad

I could of seriously hurt her or killed her

Something like this can never happen again

I won't let it

I let her lay down for awhile, paying attention to her breathing, making sure it's going back to normal

The next time I look at her, shes breathing normal and I think she's asleep

"Bunny?", I call softly

"Hmm", she murmurs, her eyes open tiredly, "Oh. Sorry daddy. I'll leave"

I hesitate but tell her, "It's ok bunny. You can stay"

Why I'm doing this I don't know

Maybe it's because I'm worried about her, maybe it's so I can make sure nothing happens to her because of choking her

Maybe it's because last time she slept in my bed overnight, it wasn't that bad

No that's not it

It's because I'm worried and I want to watch her to make sure she's ok

That has to be the reason

It is the reason, I tell myself

"I can go daddy", she says, yawning

"No bunny. It's fine. Sleep ok?"

She looks at me sleepily and confused, "Are you sure?"

I nod, surprised that I am sure, "I am. Sleep bunny"

She cuddles into the pillow, closing her eyes, knocking out almost immediately

I don't know how long I sit there for, just watching her, listening to her breathes

Everything seems normal, she doesn't seem hurt besides the brusies on her neck

I move my fingers in her hair, fixing it so it's off her face and not obstructing any of her airways, ignoring how soft and silky it feels

Getting the blanket, I fix it so it's on both of us then I lay down, facing her

I don't know if I'm gonna fall asleep but I want to be right here in case anything happens

Any emergency or something, like she stops breathing

It's just for tonight, I tell myself

Only for tonight

#daddy fic #bts namjoon smut #kim namjoon smut #namjoon smut #bts rm smut #rm smut #bts namjoon fanfic #kim namjoon fanfic #namjoon fanfic #rm fanfic #bts rm fanfic

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therealcocoshady · 2 months

Text

Recovery - Chapter 13

Eminem x FemReader (Y/N) fanfiction

Summary : Reader sees Em for the first time after their argument, weeks later.

Tags : Little bit of angst, Comfort, Lots of FLUFF 🥰

CW : Mention of overdose ; Mention of blood ; Mention of miscarriage

It had been three weeks since your argument with Marshall. It took you about three days to cool off and regret all the unkind things you threw in his face. In all fairness, you were still a little mad about the lying and the mean stuff he said, but you deeply regretted your words. Deep down, you knew it was out of line to throw his past in his face. You were haunted by the look of hurtness you saw as soon as you mentioned him hitting women. You contemplated calling him to apologize, but every time you grabbed your phone, you could hear his words : “You are nothing but a whore and a junkie. I should have left you at that party, to get fucked by whoever was there. Hell, maybe it would have been better if you had overdosed on pills before we met”. You wished he would make the first step and call you, but he didn’t. You didn’t really mean all the things you said, but maybe he did, after all. Not that you could blame him : you really had been a bitch on this one. You were starting to resign : maybe he wouldn’t call at all, maybe your friendship or whatever it may have been was well and truly over. That was how it had seemed that night anyway.

It also took a few days for you to salvage your relationship with Talia. When you had gotten home that night, you were beyond livid. After all, she had lied to you too : she had definitely failed to mention that Marshall was with her when she confronted Cassie at her hotel, and that he threatened her. You were so mad that you actually threatened to leave the house and find another place to live. Thankfully, Jamal convinced you to stay and, with a lot of talking and countless apologies and sweet gestures from Talia, everything got better. The two of you were so close that it was virtually impossible for you to stay mad at her and, obviously, her cooking your favorite meals and bringing sweet little gifts for you every time she went shopping helped a lot in that department. This girl knew you so well that no man could impress you with gestures at this point. Not that any man would come knocking on your door anyway. Your roommates were basically the only thing keeping you sane. You had obviously told them about the altercation with Marshall and they saw how depressed you were in the following weeks. They took care of you by trying to take your mind off things and making sure that you ate enough. You also suspected that they had something to do with Cassie not leaking the pictures. You weren't aware of the details, but as far as you knew, Marshall had taken care of things. Though the diss track wasn’t out (probably because it wouldn’t have been very timely with the other rapper being in the hospital), Cassie had contacted you the following day, sending you a video proving she was deleting the pictures. That was the last you heard of her. You were a bit curious as to the turn of events, but you didn’t want to ask for details. Too much pride on your part.

To sum things up, life was starting to get normal again. It was as though you had never met Marshall. If it weren’t for his necklace around your neck, his Saint Laurent jacket in your closet and a few selfies the two had taken together on some occasions, you could have sworn it had all been a dream. Talia and Jamal had eventually stopped mentioning his name when you were around, as they saw how painful it was for you. At the very beginning, they tried to talk you into seeing or calling him so that the two of you could work things out, but you were so worked up that you refused. Eventually, though, they resigned.

One of the most important drawbacks was that you barely saw the rest of the crew anymore, since you did not hang out at the studio. Porter and Royce came for dinner once or twice and you were happy to see them. You definitely weren’t as close to them as you were with Jamal or Marshall, but you had fun whenever they were around. So, when Porter texted you to invite you to his birthday dinner, you were obviously excited to go.

You know that everyone from the studio is going to be there, right ? Talia asked. Including… Well, you-know-who.

Oh, you said sheepishly. I hadn’t really thought about that, I guess… Thing is, I already said yes. And I love Porter, and I don’t want him to be caught in the middle of… whatever, you know ? Maybe I should just find an excuse and cancel at the last minute ?

Ooor, maybe it would be a good opportunity for you and Em to talk again, Jamal said.

Yeeeeah… I don’t know about that, you replied.

Come on, girl, he said. You guys will have to talk eventually, you know ?

Do we though ? You asked. I mean, it’s been nearly a month and, as far as I know, we’re both doing pretty well. I didn’t die, even though he might prefer otherwise.

Pretty well ?! Talia scoffed. Honey, you are doing terribly.

I’m not, you argued.

We heard you cry last night, Jamal pointed out.

Well, I was having uh… lady problems. You don’t know how bad those period cramps can get.

You’re not due for another two weeks, Talia said with a raised eyebrow.

Well maybe I was sad, you shrugged. About uh… Cats or something.

Quit the bullshit, Jamal replied as he rolled his eyes. The two of you need to talk things out. You’re best friends. That’s ridiculous.

He hasn’t called, you said.

Girl, don’t start, he said. You haven’t called either. You’re both too proud for your own good, and this needs to end.

You sighed. As always, your friends were too good when it came to calling you on your shit. You knew you had too much pride, but just for once, you wished they would leave you alone. No matter how much you were missing Marshall, his smile and his silly jokes, you couldn’t face him. If you were to see him again, you were pretty sure you would have a heart attack.

Look, it’ll be awkward for everyone if you guys don’t talk things out, Talia said tentatively.

I think you are underestimating my ability to keep going like this, you mumbled.

I am sick of this shit, Talia said. You love us, right ?

Of course I do, you scoffed.

And you want us to have good times with our friends, right ? She asked again.

Yes !

Then, you will make an effort, she said sternly. I already have divorced parents, I will not go through the same things with you and Em. We are friends with both of you, and you are going to have to find a way to deal with that.

Yeah, but I’m your roommate so you love me more, right ? You said cockily.

Y/N !!! Jamal said with his loud, authoritarian voice he only used when you were being a brat.

Fine, you said with a sigh. If I cross paths with him, I promise I’ll be… courteous. But I’m not calling him.

We’ll see about that, Talia sighed. And you will apologize ?

Depending on if he does, you shrugged.

You guys are so similar it’s actually scary, Jamal chuckled.

A few days after this conversation, Jamal came to find you in your room one night after he got home from the studio. You were already in your pajamas, watching The Wire, a show that was once recommended to you by Marshall. He was right : you thoroughly enjoyed it.

Hey sis, he said with a smile. Are you busy ?

Well, I’m currently having a bomb ass pool party with all of my imaginary friends, as you can see, you said sarcastically. What’s up ?

Just to give you a heads up, Em is coming tomorrow, he said with a smile.

Wha-Why ? You asked.

He wants his jacket back, he shrugged. For a photoshoot with some magazine, I think.

Wouldn’t it be simpler if you brought it to him at the studio ? You asked.

It would, he replied with a grin. But it wouldn’t get the two of you to talk.

You’re impossible, you said as you rolled your eyes.

Come on, you know you’ll have to face him eventually, he said.

Not if I could have it my way, you mumbled. I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want to see me anyway.

Well, believe it or not, he is not against the idea, Jamal said with a grin.

Really ? You asked, surprised.

Really. I told him he could come here to get the jacket from you tomorrow afternoon, and he agreed, he said.

I could just leave the jacket for him and spend the day somewhere else, you said tentatively.

Don’t you even try that shit, Jamal said. You are facing him. Come on, Y/N. I know you miss him.

But he hates me, you replied, on the verge of tears. And he is right to. I was so mean, Jamal. You have no idea.

Well, from what I gathered, he was pretty mean too, your friend pointed out.

I’m so scared, you whispered as you began to cry. You should have seen his eyes. He hates me. I don’t want to see that again. It’s too hard. I can’t…

Jamal chuckled and sat on your bed before pulling you in for a hug.

You care, he said.

Of course I care ! My best friend hates me !!! You cried. I fucked up. Everything.

… and you miss him, he added.

Yes, you whined.

See ? Doesn’t it feel good to admit it ? He asked with a smile.

It does, you admitted shyly.

Jamal kissed you on the forehead.

Better get that Jacket out of your bed, he chuckled.

It’s not in my bed, you said.

You were hugging it a few nights ago while you slept, he said. Don’t lie.

You come into my room at night, now ? You groaned in embarrassment.

Only when you cry in your sleep, he shrugged. Anyway, dinner is almost ready.

That night, you could barely sleep. You were so stressed out you were pretty sure you would develop an ulcer from stress. What if he didn’t show up ? Or worse, what if he actually showed up ? What if you argued again ? Would he say all these mean things all over again ? The following day, you were a mess, and the lack of sleep definitely didn’t help. You decided to bake, to change your ideas. You usually cooked when you were happy and baked when you were stressed out or frustrated. It was Saturday so Jamal was due on his weekly visit to his grandmother’s. Talia was quietly drawing in the garden. You were in the middle of cutting fruits when you heard the doorbell. You knew who it was. Your heart was pounding, and you tried to compose yourself before opening the door.

Hi, you almost whispered when you opened the door.

Hey Y/N, Marshall said.

You looked at him and it was like being hit by a bus. He was even more beautiful than you remembered. He was wearing jeans, sneakers and a leather jacket. For once, he seemed to have ditched the Kangol hat. His blue eyes were staring at you, and you couldn’t help but think he looked absolutely breathtaking. He was oozing charisma. The fact that he arbored an unreadable expression made him seem even more impressive. You stared at each other for a moment, not saying anything.

Can I come in ? He asked.

Oh, sorry ! Yes. Sure, you replied as you stepped aside for him to enter the house.

It felt as if you were meeting him for the very first time. He had the same unreadable expression he always had when meeting new people, far from the warm character he displayed for those who actually knew him. You didn’t expect him to flash a smile, of course, but it was extremely awkward.

Were you cooking ? He asked as he looked at your apron.

Baking, you said. Talia is in the garden, if you want to go and say hi to her. I just have to finish cutting these fruits and I’ll go and get your jacket, ok ?

Do you, uh… Need help ? He offered as he followed you to the garden.

Oh, I’m fine, you said nervously before grabbing your knife and getting back to your fruits. It’ll only be a minute. So, uh, how are you ?

I’m good, he replied. That is a big knife, you might want to be careful, there.

Don’t worry, you said as you tried to calm yourself and look him in the eyes. How is uh… work ?

Good too, he said, still with a neutral face. How about you ? Everything good with uni and life ?

Yeah, you replied nervously. You know, working on that dissertation, same old… SON OF A BITCH !!!

You yelled as you felt the sharp cut of the knife on the back of your hand. You were so busy looking at him and trying to find things to say that you hadn’t actually paid attention to what you were doing. It was, indeed, a big knife and you were bleeding profusely.

Shit, Marshall said. Are you alright ?

Of course, you said nervously. It’s just a small cut.

Looks pretty nasty to me, he said. Let me have a look.

He got closer to you and gently took your hand to inspect it. The contact, however innocent, almost caused you to have a heart attack. You never thought you could actually faint from being so nervous, but it seemed like you were about to be proven wrong.

Are you afraid of blood ? He asked as he saw your face.

Nope, you said as you swallowed dryly.

No offense but you look like you’re about to faint, Y/N…

I’m fine, you said nervously. I’ll go and grab some disinfectant in the bathroom.

Sit, I’ll do it, he said before quickly leaving the kitchen.

You decided to go and find Talia. She was focused on her drawing. She was insanely talented. You had always thought she should pursue it as a career but she couldn’t bring herself to quit her office job, no matter how much she disliked it. She was focusing on adding some shadows to nature scene.

Hey Tay, you said.

Hi baby, she replied without looking up. What’s up ? Isn’t Em supposed to be here, yet ?

Uhm… We might need to take a raincheck on that talk, you said as you swallowed nervously.

Don’t start, she sighed as she looked up. Oh my god !!! What happened ?! What did you do ?!

Cutting fruits, you explained.

Oh Lord, she said as she walked to the kitchen with you. I can’t look at this. This is terrible.

Marshall was standing there, rummaging in the pharmacy box he had found in the bathroom.

I don’t think you have any disinfectant, he said sternly. There’s a bottle but it’s empty.

Oh, you said. I’ll just put my hand under the faucet to rinse the blood, then.

Baby, it’s a deep cut. You probably need stitches, Talia said as she sat at the table to prevent herself from fainting.

It’s fine, you replied. Let’s not make a big deal out of it, shall we ?

They were both looking at you in disbelief. You were bleeding quite a bit, but there was no way you were going to the ER. You had developed quite the fear of hospitals since your miscarriage and overdose.

I think Talia’s right, Y/N, Marshall said firmly.

I’d rather die a long and painful death than go to the ER, you said.

Don’t be stupid, Talia said. Em, do you think you could take her ? I would, but I’d faint behind the wheel before we get there.

Sure, Marshall said.

No need to bother, you told him with an awkward smile. I’ll finish my pie and then go on foot.

He looked at you and let out a chuckle.

First of all, your strawberries are covered in blood, so I think you’ll have to take a raincheck on baking. Also… You’d have to walk for an hour to get there. Probably two, with your tiny legs, he said.

I can walk, you replied.

This stubborn girl will get tetanus before she actually sets foot in the ER, she told Marshall as she referred to you. Make sure she gets there ?

Marshall’s a busy man, Talia, you said. I will happily take a cab.

Don’t be silly, Y/N. I’ll take you. It’s no problem, really, he said.

OR we could wait and see if the bleeding stops by itself ? You tried, even though you couldn’t convince yourself.

Come on, Y/N, Marshall said. I’ll take you… And you know I don’t bite, he added as if he could sense your apprehension.

You sighed and looked at the two of them. It was clear that they would not leave you in peace, no matter what you tried to pull. Marshall was looking at you with a reassuring look. He wrapped your hand in some bandage, in order to cover the wound, and Talia helped you get ready while he cleaned up the utensils, so that she wouldn’t have to face the blood. The, he led you to the car and helped you buckle your seatbelt.

Thank you, you said sheepishly as he got in the driver’s seat.

Does it hurt ? He asked.

A bit, you shrugged.

In all fairness, you were almost too busy processing the shock of seeing him again after a month to actually feel pain. He started driving and you spent a few minutes in total silence.

So, he said as he cleared his throat. Should we get to it ? We might as well. It’s going to be a bit of a drive anyway.

Get to what ? You said in a small voice. There you were again, about to die of nervousness. God, you could be such a coward, sometimes.

To talking, Y/N, he sighed. You cut your hand, you can’t feign a brain injury. And I know you’re not stupid…

Right, you sighed.

There were a few seconds of silence. In this instant, there were many things you wanted to say, but you couldn’t quite muster the courage.

Shall I go first, then ? He asked.

Sure…

Look, he said, I… I shouldn’t have lied to you. It was wrong. To be honest, I contemplated telling you, but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to disappoint you. And you were right anyway. I shouldn’t have threatened Cassie, and I definitely shouldn’t have sent those guys. It was stupid and I’m sorry.

Thank you, you whispered.

But I want you to know one thing, he continued. No matter what it looks like to you, I did do it for you. I was sincere when I told you I was looking out for you. It was the wrong way to do it and I definitely got carried away, but it was for you.

He looked at you and you nodded silently.

God, that’s quite a cut, he said. Your bandage is soaking in blood already. At this rate, you won’t have much blood left in your body…

Oh, I’ll live, you said. Unfortunately, I guess.

Don’t say that, he groaned. Look, I’m sorry about what I said about you overdosing. I didn’t mean that. I was pissed. You were going all out on me, and I reacted like a jerk.

I’m sorry too, you replied. I was mad at you, but I didn’t mean to be so… mean.

No, he said as he shook his head. Whatever that was, that wasn’t mean, Y/N. That was cruel.

You looked at him and noticed his hands crispating on the steering wheel. He looked tense.

I know, you said. I’m sorry.

I don’t think you know, actually, he replied. I know I fucked up, but picture this… Imagine meeting someone great and immediately connecting with them. You think they’re cool, interesting, and you find yourself able to talk about difficult stuff together, stuff that you can’t usually talk about. Now, imagine that they become one of your best friend in a matter of months. You hang out, you text all the time, you look out for each other, and your bond becomes stronger and stronger each day. You feel like they know you like no one else, like they appreciate you for who you are. Like they are one of the few people on earth to actually take time to get to know the real you. Imagine that you let down your guard down for once, for them, because they’re fucking worth it. With time, you even fall for them. Hard. To the point where you are ready to let go of some of your principles. Because once again, this feels different. This feels worth it, right ? Now, imagine that you fuck up and they’re mad at you. Happens, right ? But imagine that they actually use this as an excuse to take all the things you hate about you, the things you regret the most from your past and they throw them in your face. Stuff you never even talked about with them before, so you didn’t even have a chance to clear the air or provide context. They use it against you. How would you feel ? How would you feel if your best friend, the most amazing woman you have ever met, throws that shit in your face ?

I’m sorry, you said as tears started to well in my eyes. I am so sorry, Marshall…

You fucking hurt me, Y/N, he said. Hell, hurt can’t even begin to describe how I felt. For months, I was feeling great by your side. I thought we had a good thing going on, you and I. If you had just asked me questions about that shit, I would have answered thruthfully. Because I hate that side of me, but I can be honest about it. But to have you, of all people, using that shit against me, that was vile. I can’t say a lot of people have managed to hurt me this much.

You could feel the raw emotions in his voice : sadness, anger and resentment. He was looking at you intently as he spoke, unmoved by the tears streaming down your cheeks.

But I guess you know how it feels, now, he continued. Because I did the same shit. I took what you regret the most in your life and I threw it in your face. Hurts, doesn’t it ?

Yes, you whispered.

Sorry, he said as he took a deep breath. That needed to come out.

I am so sorry, Marshall, you said as you looked at him. I was mad at you but I know I shouldn’t have said any of this. It was wrong. Not that it’s any excuse, but I let Simon get in my head. He said all of these awful things about you and I didn’t believe them. But then, you lied to me, and you were here, like that angry guy I never knew, trying to destroy someone and I… It made me mad, you know ? And a bit scared, too. But yeah, I know it was so wrong. When I cooled off, I wanted to call and apologized, but then, I remembered you saying it would have been better if I had died, so I didn’t. And then, you didn’t call either, so…

You were trying to breathe properly as you cried. It was hard for you to contain your emotions. His look softened a bit.

You want to know why I didn’t call ? He asked.

No, you replied. I mean, yes. But… You don’t owe me an explanation. I was a bitch. I deserved it.

That’s not it, he explained. I did that to protect you. I was so hurt and pissed that it took me a while to cool off. And I knew that if I called or saw you, I would probably be even more of an ass. As mad as I was, I didn’t want to hurt you more.

You nodded as you stared in his eyes.

I’m so sorry, Marshall, you repeated. I miss you so much. I am one month sober today, and I can say that it’s easier to stay away from drugs and booze than it is to be away from you. You’re my best friend. I miss you, I miss your hugs, I miss your stupid dad jokes and the way you look down on me whenever I say I don’t know something about hip-hop culture. Being away from you… I hate it.

I hate it too, he said softly.

You both exchanged shy smiles and drove in silence to the hospital, the atmosphere being more peaceful.

When you finally arrived, he helped you get out of the car and gently hugged you, making sure he wouldn’t hurt your hand. You walked towards the entrance and, as relieved as you were that the two of you had managed to talk, you were tense. This place brought up too many bad memories : the miscarriage, waking up after the overdose, the painful breakup with Simon… Marshall took your healthy hand in his and squeezed gently.

You’ll be alright, he said. You got this. And I got you.

You do ? You asked nervously.

Just because I hated you and didn’t like you for a minute doesn’t mean I stopped loving you and caring about you, he said. At the end of the day, you’re still my best friend, you know ?

You smiled shyly and advanced towards the entrance some more.

How about… We do best friends stuff and get some ice cream ? You nervously offered.

This is not going to work. You’re going in there, and you’re getting stitched, he said.

Yeah but we could get ice cream first, you pointed out.

Your blood is literally dripping on the floor as we speak, Y/N, he chuckled. So ice cream will have to wait until we’re done.

You groaned and eventually stopped walking.

What’s wrong ? He asked.

I’m scared, Marshall, you said. Being here, it brings back so many memories. I… That’s where I lost my baby, where I woke up after the OD, where I broke up with Simon. I can’t do it. I can’t be here.

You voice was starting to crack. He face you and gently stroked your cheek.

I hate it too, he said. If you look over there, I think you can see the window of the room where I woke up after my overdose. I almost died there. So, believe me, I know what if feels like to be scared of this place.

Why did you agree to come then ? You asked.

Because you need to be here, he replied softly. Because it’s been more than fifteen years. And because even though hospitals are scary ass places, lots of good stuff happens there too. They save lives. They can also save your pretty hands, he added with a chuckle.

He squeezed your hand again and led you through the corridors. He helped you fill the forms while you were in the waiting room, while reassuring you simultaneously.

You’re going to be fine, he said. It’s just a few stitches, not open-heart surgery.

I’m starting to feel sick, you said sheepishly.

You got this, he repeated. Think about the ice cream we’re going to get after, ok ? What flavor do you want ?

Strawberry. My baking plans didn’t work, so I might as well. Or maybe a vanilla Mc Flurry with M&Ms.

That sounds like a plan, he chuckled. If you’re brave, you’re getting both.

What do you want ? You asked back.

MFlurry sounds good, he shrugged. Come here.

He put his arm around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head. A nurse quickly called for you and you reluctantly left him, as he mouthed the words “You got this”. Once you were in the room with the nurse and the doctor, you couldn’t help but act out a little bit. You let them know that you were insanely scared of hospitals and needles so they offered you a bit of laughing gas to help you relax. In a few minutes, you got out with stitches on your hand and a big bandage, as well as a prescription for painkillers for a few days. You found Marshall in the corridor, talking to an attractive nurse who was definitely flirting with him. As soon as he saw you, he smiled.

See ? He said. You did this. I’m proud of you.

I’m really really brave, you said, still under the effect of the laughing gas.

Got the laughing gas, did you ? He chuckled.

Yup, you said, popping the P. I’m ready for my ice cream now.

A deal is a deal, he said with a grin.

I’m getting a Mc Flurry with M&Ms… with Eminem, you giggled.

The bad joke caused Marshall and the nurse to have a burst of laughter.

Sorry about her, he told the nurse.

It’s fine, she grinned. I’ve heard worse laughing gas jokes.

How long do you think it will last ? He asked. Just so I know what to expect.

Let me see, she said as she examined your prescription. Well, the effects of laughing gas don’t last too long, usually a couple of minutes, but seeing as she’s under painkillers… I’d say you might be in for a couple more hours of jokes. Basically until she sleeps.

Great, he chuckled as he looked at you. Well I think I better feed you.

I’m really really really hungry, you replied.

Better get going, then, he said. Thanks Nicole, it was nice seeing you.

Goodbye Marshall, she said with a smile.

Not goodbye to me ? You asked, causing Marshall to chortle.

Yes, sure, of course. Goodbye… Y/N, she said as she read the name on your prescription.

You were both giggling as you got out of the ER and made your way back to the car.

You’re impossible, he chuckled.

Whaaaat ? You asked.

Nothing, he said as he shook his head. You’re funny, that’s all.

You let out a giggle as you both got into the vehicle and went to a drive thru to get some ice cream and to a pharmacy to pick up your prescription before going home. The laughing gas was definitely putting you in a good mood. You kept on singing along to the radio. Eventually, one of his songs came on and you thought it would be a good idea to try and display your nonexistent rapping skills. He was crying tears of laughter when he finally parked in front of the house.

That’s not even the real words, he chuckled.

Well, you made it really difficult to rap, you pointed out.

To be fair, you also really suck at rapping, Y/N.

You stuck out your tongue and got out of the car as he shook his head.

Guess who’s baaaack ? Back agaaaain, you sang as you got through the door, Marshall chortling behind you.

Oh my God, Talia said. Are you drunk ?!

She’s fine, Marshall chuckled. Painkillers and laughing gas, that’s all.

Looks like she’s having the time of her life, Jamal chuckled.

You have no idea, Marshall said with a laugh.

So I take it that the two of you guys are alright ? Talia asked.

Yes, you said with a dumb smile. He’s my bestie again.

Well… Like she said, he said with a smile.

Talia engulfed him into a hug.

Finally, she said. I can’t have you guys mad at each other !

Want to stay for dinner ? Jamal offered. It’s been a while since we’ve had you here.

Sure, he said with a smile.

Yay, you said, causing all of them to chuckle.

After dinner, the four of you ended up playing Cards Against Humanity. Marshall and yourself were by far the most sarcastic, pushing each other further in the dark, sometimes tasteless humor. You kept on giggling, partly because of the laughing gas and painkillers, but also because it felt so good to have your best friend back. Eventually, though, you let out a small yawn.

Time for bed ? Marshall asked.

I don’t want the evening to end, you said with a small pout. I’m having such a great time with my three favorite people. You’re all my besties and I love you so so much.

You’re so cute, Talia swooned.

There will be other times, Marshall said with a smile.

You know what we should do ? We should have a bestie’s sleepover ! You exclamed.

I’m in, Talia chuckled.

I’m OUT, Jamal said. What’s next ? Facemasks ?

You’re no fun, you told him as you rolled your eyes. Marshall ?

Seriously, Y/N ? He chuckled.

You flashed a grin and batted your eyelashes.

I missed you, you said tentatively. AND I’m one month sober today.

You’re impossible, he giggled. Fine. You’re definitely high right now, but it’s medical, so it’s not technically breaking the streak…

No offense, but I’m not handling the two of you on my own, Talia chuckled. You guys go and have your little sleepover, I’m staying with my man.

Are we that bad ? Marshall chuckled.

I love having the two of you back as a dynamic duo, she said with a smile. But you are so similar it’s just too much at some point ! You make each other better and worse at the same time.

I like it, you giggled.

Me too, Marshall replied.

The two of you went upstairs and you got ready for bed, coming back from the bathroom in your pajamas. At the sight of these, Marshall burst out in laughter.

Seriously, Y/N ? Cats on your PJs ? He chortled.

They’re cute ! You argued.

They’re as terrible as your rapping skills. And believe me, that’s fucking saying something, he chuckled. These PJs are the least sexy thing I’ve ever seen on you.

Shut up, you pouted. What do you wear to bed ?

Usually, boxers. Or sweatpants, or nothing, he shrugged.

Now that is sexy, you giggled.

Get in bed, dumbass, he chortled. You’re so high, it’s hilarious.

Speaking of sexy, you added, I have your sexy jacket.

Right, he chuckled. Is it sexy though ?

You look sexy in it, you shrugged.

Do I, now ? He grinned.

Yes. Today’s leather jacket is sexy too, you giggled.

What should I wear for the photoshoot, then ? He mused.

Saint Laurent one, black jeans, black shoes, white tee-shirt for contrast, silver chains but not too big and lose the hat, you said after a few seconds of thought.

I should hire you as a stylist, he chuckled. You sure seem to have a lot of opinions on my clothes.

I’d be fucking glorious, you said.

How about you come and spend the day in New York with me next week ? He asked. You can be a glorious stylist, and you can even help me shop for new outfits.

Oh my god, that’d be so cooooool, you shrieked.

We’re doing that, then, he chuckled. Now, bed.

You got under the covers and he removed his clothes, staying in his boxers, before laying next to you.

Marshall ? You asked in a small voice.

Yes, Y/N ?

I’m glad you’re here. Thank you. And sorry again, you said.

I’m glad too, he whispered in your ear. I missed you.

You giggled and you fell asleep peacefully for the first time in a month.

#eminem #marshall mathers #slim shady #eminem fanfiction #eminem x reader #eminem fluff #eminem imagine #marshall mathers x reader #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers headcanons #recovery fanfiction

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whatsnewalycat · 1 year

Text

Psychomanteum / Chapter 9

Pairing: Dieter Bravo x F!Reader

Chapter 9: Dearly Departed

Chapter Summary: You and Dieter use the psychomanteum again, then go out on a date.

Rating: Explicit (18+ only)

Word Count: 8.3k+

Content / Warnings: alternating POV, psychomanteum, talk about addiction, grief, homophobia, infertility, suicide, violence, fluff, sexual tension in public, cigarettes & smoking, river, restaurant, praise kink, fingering, the driver deserved that tip and more, disaster bisexuals

Notes: Chapter title from "Dearly Departed" by Shaky Graves. Just a heads up, since we're going back into the psychomanteum, there's a lot of heavy shit in here. Also I will definitely be releasing a little mini not-really-a-chapter with Lua and Dee's sex toy play that takes place between this chapter and the next because I think that's fun even though it's not super relevant to the story lol.

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“Ok how the fuck did we do this last time?” you mutter as you drop two folded black top sheets onto the floor of your closet and squint up at the popcorn ceiling.

“I think we tacked them up,” Dieter answers, his brown tootsie pop eyes sticking to the tall chest of drawers against the westernmost wall. His fingers thrum against the mahogany and he raises an eyebrow at you, “Is this where you keep your sex toys?”

You plant your hands on your hips and tilt your head, an amused smile creeping across your face, “That’s what you’re thinking about right now?”

A wide grin dimples his cheeks and he swings his head around to meet your gaze, “Look, I’ve always wanted to meet them in person.”

You start to feel flushed and tingly when you recall the dozens of times you��ve lined the collection up across your comforter, letting him select one or more. The video calls where you’re splayed out on your bed, headphones whispering his instructions right into your ears, what he wants you to do to yourself for his viewing pleasure. The wet slap of him getting off on it from his bedroom almost three thousand miles away. His own private cam girl.

“Don’t run off on me this time, I’ll let you play with them ‘til your heart’s content,” you smirk and drop your eyes to his lips, watching his pink bubblegum tongue dart out and coat them with saliva. The shiny, eau natural gloss gains your undivided attention.

It’s maddening how two pillowy pieces of flesh fill you to the brim with desire. But after six weeks apart, you’re obsessed. In his absence, you’ve been starved for his touch. All you want to do is kiss him. Hold him. Fuck him. The heat of his skin against yours has become a necessity as basic as shelter, food, water, oxygen.

By the way Dieter has been worshiping every square inch of your body, responding to each needy affection with enthusiasm. You can tell that he’s been famished, too.

Yesterday afternoon, Dieter pushed the door to your apartment open the second you flipped the lock and threw down his suitcase, grabbing your face and kissing you like he just returned from war. He pinned you against the wall and groaned against your mouth, “Oh my fucking god I missed you.”

This morning, his warm brown eyes followed his fingertips as they traveled the roads of scar tissue on your leg and arm, lips curved in a serene smile. So content learning each intimate detail of your body. Like if he memorizes every scar, every tic, every spot that makes you putty in his hands, he’ll never have to be apart from you.

You watched him practice this reverence while combing your fingers through his unruly locks. He was nestled into the softness of your belly, using it as a pillow. Tiny, heated flutters like hungry fireflies chittered away in your chest cavity as you told him, “I think I’m ready to do it again.”

He raised his eyebrows and smiled up at you, “You are insatiable, doll.”

Despite the teasing comment, you could see his flaccid cock surge with want. Your face flushed and you giggled, “I’m not talking about that.”

He looked up at you with those sweet puppy dog eyes and waited for you to elaborate.

“I want to try the psychomanteum again,” you explained timidly, resisting the urge to break eye contact, “I think I’m ready.”

His adam’s apple bobbed in his throat, then he asked, “Today?”

“Sure,” you brought your hand to his face and rubbed your thumb against the scratchy gray patch in his beard, “You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, though.”

He scooted closer to you, scooping you up in a warm embrace. His lips pressed gentle against yours. A hot, fuzzy tightness knit itself around your heart. When he drew back, you pushed your fingers through his mop of curly brown hair. His eyes softened into a ganache as he watched you do this.

“I’ll do it,” he finally responded. Hesitancy quivered the edges of his voice.

“You don’t have to,” you assured him.

“I know, love,” he mumbled and grabbed ahold of your hand, then laid a kiss on your wrist and held your palm against the heat of his cheek, “But think I’m ready, too.”

Now, as he plops down in the tangerine armchair and squints into the mirror, dipping and tilting his head to test different angles, he tells you, “I think we’re ready to roll.”

“Oh yeah?” your thumb turns white with pressure as you pierce a clear thumbtack through the black bedsheet, driving it into the popcorn ceiling. You look down at him from your perch on the highest flat of your step stool and ask, “Wanna flip a coin to see who goes first?”

Dieter gets to his feet and offers up a hand to you, which you take and descend the step stool.

“I’ll go first,” he tells you, interlacing his fingers with yours, leading the way out of the closet, “And I swear to god I’ll scream if you tell me I don’t have to do that.”

“I was not going to say that,” you protest, but have to clamp down on your smile that would tell him otherwise.

He turns around and raises both eyebrows at you, grinning, “Wow, you’re fucking terrible at lying.”

“I… am a great liar,” you push his chest playfully, making him smile wider as he pulls you into a hug.

“I’m just kidding, you’re an excellent liar,” he mumbles against your hair.

“Really?”

“And gullible? Wow,” he teases, then starts giggling when you scoff in faux indignation and poke at his belly.

You pull back to search his face as your giddy smiles soften and sober. Worst case scenarios swim around your head and make you dizzy.

“For real, you’re gonna be ok?” you whisper, grazing his cheek with the back of your hand.

He leans into the touch and his shoulders relax, a pleased smile spreading across his face, “Don’t worry about me, sweetheart, seriously.”

“Ok,” you breathe.

The nerves must be rolling off of you in waves, because his dark eyes dart around your face and he sighs. He cups your cheeks with his hands, leveling his gaze with yours, “Lua. Do you know what we have planned for tonight?”

You blink and nod.

“I’m taking you on a real date. Like a fancy-schmancy date where I have to wear a tie and underwear.”

“Dee, underwear is an everyday-“

“Then we’re gonna come back here and play with your sex toys.”

“Oh, and I made a cheesecake!” you tell him.

“You… made a cheesecake for us?” he raises his eyebrows and searches your face. When you nod, he throws his head back and smothers you in a hug, groaning as he rocks you from side to side, “Louella, you’re fucking amazing holy shit.”

You hug him back. A spring of joy bubbles up inside you and you laugh at his infectious enthusiasm.

Dieter pulls back and meets your eyes, “I’m not gonna bail on you. Do you believe me?”

“Yes,” you smile. And you mean it. And you can tell that he knows it’s the truth.

In an attempt to vent the thick black cloud that collects soot in his chimney throat and makes him choke, he reminds himself that things are different now. He’s been practicing. Rationing his grief in manageable chunks. Allowing James to come out of the lockbox in his head for short periods of time to stretch his legs with little incident.

He intakes a sharp breath through his nose, the exhale whooshing out his exhaust pipe lips, allowing him to breathe just a little easier.

Dieter imagines a pack of Pall Malls. The maroon fliptop box that fits in the palm of his hand, the tobacco company’s name in Art Noveau over a silver seal.

When he sees the Pall Malls, he sees General Thompson plucking a cigarette from his tight, lipless scowl. Sees the gruff, soulless man grinding its glowing orange cherry into his son’s forearm. Smells the seared flesh. The howling from his lover’s throat echos in his skull.

It happens every time he spots a pack of this particular brand of cigarette. The memory an intruder in his brain. This is usually where Dieter tries to put an end to it, shoving James back into the depths of his brain in a desperate attempt to make it stop before it could show him what happened next.

Because what comes next is the wet smack of General Thompson’s swollen knuckles on his son’s face. His freckled, sunburnt cheeks an unnatural purple that puffed up under his skin. His delicate lips split and oozed a thick, deep red that Dieter wished he could kiss away.

But he couldn’t. His joints all seemed to be superglued in place.

After this, there’s the sound of James screaming. It filled his brain with TV static. It still does sometimes. He stood there, frozen in place, and wished the screaming would stop.

Until it did.

Then Dieter realized how much worse it was when James went silent. Just the thud of one body hitting another. In this dreadful muted thudding of flesh on flesh, a switch flipped and propelled Dieter forward, yanking General Thompson off of James.

He’ll never forget the horrifying realization that his limbs could move the whole time.

Dieter’s stomach twists and sours like it always does. He takes another deep, venting breath, exhaling the dense plume of guilt that builds up in his lungs. Pushes past the scent of burnt skin and the paralysis. He sees the Pall Malls again. He remembers better things.

A shed that was down by Lejeune High School’s beat-up outdoor track that he and James used to frequent. The tawny gravel littered with stomped out cigarette butts. Their daily ritual of going against the tides of their classmates rushing to the cafeteria for lunch to sneak behind the shed.

Every day, James leaned against the shed, red paint chips flaking on his shoulders like dandruff. He would fish out two mashed up Pall Malls from his pocket, then hand one to Dieter. A cigarette pinched between their index and middle fingers, the boys would cough and giggle from the tobacco high. They were hidden from sight except for two blue smoke stacks that rose from their side of the shed, which no one ever seemed to notice.

They had a similar ritual on Saturdays at The VIP Lounge.

Sharing cigarettes to stretch them out further. James seemed to lodge the filter deep into the wet of his mouth when he took a drag. It was always damp with his saliva when passed back to Dieter. He didn’t mind. In fact, for a long time, he thought that would be the closest they would get to kissing, the cigarette a surrogate for them to swap spit.

Dieter thinks about New River. How it would cool their heated skin on the hottest North Carolina days. The baptism of its current washing away smoke residue, traces of their teenage rebellion, before they had to return home and resume the roles they played for their families.

He remembers going there for the first time, when James told Dieter there was a place he liked to go to and write. A secluded beach.

“Sounds exclusive,” Dieter smirked.

“Practically a dang VIP Lounge. You’ll see,” James responded as he heaved a backpack over his bony shoulders.

Going there for the last time, after James was discharged from the hospital and Dieter’s family was packing their belongings. Moving once again. He waited until nighttime, when the house was silent and he was sure everyone was asleep, then snuck out the backdoor, tiptoeing through backyards to the Thompson residence.

All the lights were off, but Dieter tapped on the window pane of James’s room until it slid up, revealing his still puffy and mangled face in the moonlight.

“Can you sneak out?” Dieter whispered.

James nodded solemnly and mumbled, “Gimme a sec,” then slid the window closed.

A few minutes later the window slid back open. Out came James, backpack in hand as he landed on the grass with a quiet grunt. A worn baseball cap kept his face hidden in the shadows. He swung the backpack onto his shoulders and started off.

Dieter followed, already knowing where James was headed.

The forest they had traversed many times before was dewy and soft under his feet. Dieter became nocturnal. His ears seemed to dial up the chirping of crickets and croaking of frogs, the rustle of ferns and tree branches, the hard thudding of his aching heart, the buzzing of his frayed nerves. The rumble of the river grew louder and louder, until he breached the clearing to The VIP Lounge.

By then, the rumble was a roar.

James dropped his backpack on the damp sand with a muted thud and unzipped it. He pulled out a quilt and handed it to Dieter, who shook it open and spread it flat. Dieter sat down on the blanket, watching the way James kept his head tilted down, his battered face hidden by the bill of the baseball cap. He pulled out a baggie of cigarettes and a lighter, tossing them onto the quilt haphazardly before taking a seat next to Dieter. There was a metallic clinking from the backpack, and James handed Dieter an aluminum can of Busch Light.

Neither of them spoke.

New River’s roar was background to the tsch-hiss of their beer cans opening, the slurp of Dieter’s cautious sip, the glug-glug-glug of James chugging half of his in one go. The resulting belch was so loud in contrast to all the other hushed noises, it made Dieter snort a laugh. James laughed, too, a high-pitched giggle that stabbed Dieter’s ear drums in a way that he missed dearly.

It seemed to cut the tension. Both boys relaxed and scooted closer to the other, and James asked, “You’re movin’, huh?”

“Yeah,” Dieter answered, glancing over at James, hoping to see his face. It was just a shadow.

He turned his gaze back to the river, finding his vision sharpened in the night. The moon, a ripe, glowing cream-colored circle, hung in the sky above them among an infinite number of diamond-like stars that varied in size and purity. Moonbeams shone silver streaks across the thick, inky black water. Specks of sand glittered in the light.

“I don’t wanna be here anymore,” James confessed in a hoarse whisper.

“We could run away,” Dieter turned to James, finally catching a glimpse of his face in the moonlight. His heart pitter-pattered with hope. Immediately, his brain started working on a plan, and it flew from his mouth rapid-fire, “I- I have my chore money and could take some from Ma’s purse. We could go to New York, find places to work. We could write, we- we- could act-”

James raised his beer can to his lips and tilted it back, taking big swallows until it was upside down and empty. He crushed it between his palms and tossed it next to his backpack, then pulled out another.

As he cracked open his second beer, he shook his head, “S’not what I mean.”

The silence that followed was so heavy, it broke Dieter’s heart. The life he had just dreamed up for them on the spot was shattered into pieces.

“What do you mean?” Dieter spat.

“Nothin’, nevermind,” James murmured, then hugged his knees to his chest, dangling his beer in one hand while the other wrapped around his shin.

Dieter stared at the boy, trying to control the heated flame of rejection in his chest from shooting from his mouth. Like he was some kind of ill-tempered fire-breathing dragon.

“I jus’ mean… Maybe my story doesn’t go that far, y’know?”

And if Dieter knew then what he knows now, that this was a cry for help and not a breakup, maybe things would have ended differently. Maybe he would have stayed next to James on that beach until the sun rose. Maybe he could have begged James to change his mind. Maybe they would have run away together.

“So that’s it? You’re done with this?” Dieter bit off, his anguish disguised as rage.

And if Dieter knew then what he knows now, that rage was the only language his sadness knew how to speak, maybe things would have ended differently. Maybe he would have stayed and told James about how scared he was to lose him. Maybe he would have promised James that he didn’t deserve what happened to him.

But that’s the thing about things. They’re exactly the way they are. No backsies.

“Guess so,” James answered in a croak.

“Fuck this,” Dieter muttered, then got to his feet and looked down at the baseball cap that covered James’s face and spat, “Fuck you, James.”

He tore through the forest trail, fighting off branches, kicking blindly at ferns and bushes, trying to shove down the sorrow that felt like drowning. It quivered in his chest, trying desperately to claw its way out. When he arrived at his house, he snuck inside, back to his bedroom.

There, with his face smothered against his pillow, a comforter tenting his head, Dieter released his anguish. His pillow absorbed the tears and the sobs. He cried until the springy fabric was sopping wet and his voice was hoarse.

Dieter thinks about all of this now. About how much he wishes he could redo that last conversation. How he wishes James could have known that Dieter loved him. How he wishes James could have seen that there was so much more for life to give him.

This heavy, midnight blue fills his chest with lead. Loads a backpack full of rocks. Sinks him to the bottom of New River.

His eyes brim with tears when he looks up into the psychomanteum and sees the mirror reflecting those shiny silver streaks across the current of thick, inky black water.

A chill ripples across his body and leaves his hairs standing in its wake. He stays there, up to his chin in the cold water, grounding himself from the pull of the undertow. He ignores the smoke signals clogging his throat, hazing his mind.

Then, it’s warm. And calm. And sunlight is kissing his skin.

James is there.

Dieter can’t see him, but his presence fills the space like a shimmering golden fog that makes him feel weightless and peaceful. A sense of total oneness.

“I’m so sorry,” Dieter tells him, the message only a thought that’s absorbed into the ether.

“Ain’t your fault,” is the response that comes, “None of it, y’hear?”

A lump surfaces in Dieter’s throat, and he chokes out, “I could have-”

“Coulda woulda shoulda,” James chides.

He smiles as a sob bubbles up his throat.

“I’m happy, Yay-go. I’m at peace. I want you to know that.”

A wave of relief washes over Dieter. Tears roll hot down his cheeks. The nickname rings in his ears and rolls off his tongue, “Yay-go. I forgot you called me that.”

“I see you been makin’ it in Hollywood. Mighty prouda you.”

“Thanks,” Dieter chokes out, “Couldn’t’ve done it without you.”

“You gonna try writin’ again?”

Dieter shakes his head again, “I literally can’t do that without you.”

“Fuck you can’t,” James scoffs, “You were just as good as me, don’ you remember?”

“That’s a goddamn lie.”

“It’s the goddamn truth, brother, whether you believe in it er not.”

“Fine,” Dieter concedes, “I’ll try.”

“Alright, you take care now, y’hear?”

“I love you,” Dieter tells him.

“I love you, Yay-go.”

When Dieter emerges from the closet, his eyes are puffy, red, and shrink-wrapped with tears. A jolt of panic surges through your body. You jump off the bed and rush over to him, holding a palm to his chest, “You ok?”

He nods and sniffles, glancing around the room before locking his eyes on yours. As soon as they do, they overflow with tears. You cup his cheeks and whisper, “You did great, Dee.”

His face crumples at this. An empathetic ache radiates across your chest. You envelop him in a hug, and he returns it, burying his face in your hair with shaky sobs.

After a minute, he pulls back and sniffles, “Wow,” he shakes his head and throws a hand up, running it through his hair, “That was fucking crazy.”

“It’s a lot to take in,” you press your eyebrows together and nod.

His face crumples again, “God, it was just so good to hear his voice.”

Your eyes start to tingle and your throat cramps up. You manage to croak out, “I’m so happy for you, Dee.”

He pulls you back into an embrace that warms your insides, “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, love,” you mumble back, closing your eyes as you hug him back.

He hums and nuzzles against you, “Are you ready?”

The question, although innocuous, sends your heart racing. A panic fills your chest and tightens the cords of your neck. You thought you were ready. You swore you were ready. But what if it doesn’t go well?

“I’m scared,” you admit in a whisper.

The wet gulp of his throat only incentivizes your nerves. He probes, “What are you afraid of?”

You push the words from your knotted vocal chords, “He was just… fuck, so hard to talk to at the end, ya know?”

“Are you scared he’s going to be like he was then?”

You nod. Tears burn behind your eyes. Thick phlegm coats your throat and makes it hard to breathe. You inhale a shattered breath, then whimper on the exhale, “What if that’s just who he really was?”

“Come on, Lua, do you really think that’s true?” he pulls back and meets your shiny bloodshot eyes with his own. When you shrug, his shoulders deflate, “I promise it’s not.”

Your panic starts to protest, “But he’s been bothering yo-”

“He’s doing it because I can see him. It’s the same with all of them,” Dieter searches your face, then tells you with conviction, “Speaking from experience, that thing he was when he was fucked up was not him.“

You know he’s right, really.

But what if he’s not? What if I fell in love with a monster in disguise? And what if I’m doing it again?

Then you see Dieter’s eyes, all doughy and sad. You see the fragile pieces of him, his softness and his warmth. There’s a darkness in there that’s dialed up when he’s on blow.

You know Ethan was the same way.

All the blackened parts of him floated to the surface when he was on a binge or coming down. Those hard edges, they were a part of him, but they didn’t define him. Everyone has those undesirable qualities they’re able to keep hidden until circumstances make it impossible, yourself included.

You drop your gaze and nod, “You’re right.”

“Lua, look at me, baby” he murmurs, and you meet his eyes again, “You can do this.”

“I can do this,” you repeat, then take a deep breath.

When you were a kid, you had this toy called a View-Master.

It was a Christmas gift from your parents and came with 6 different reels that each had a theme, like Bugs Bunny, Wild Animals of Africa, Charlie Brown’s Summer Fun, etc. The reels were sturdy cardboard discs with 14 pieces of film spliced into squares around the circumference. When you loaded a reel into your View-Master, you brought the device to rest on the bridge of your nose like binoculars, pointed it towards the light, and voilà! A 3D image.

Each image change was punctuated by the click-slide of your View-Master turning the reel and exposing two new splices of film to the light. Very analog.

You used to sit in the bay window of your childhood bedroom in Ohio and go through each reel, yanking on the handle seven times to ensure you saw all seven pictures. You would load your reel for Wild Animals of Africa:

Zebras

Click-slide

Lions

Click-slide

Giraffes

Click-slide

Antelopes

Click-slide

Elephants

Click-slide

Hyenas

Click-slide

Crocodiles

Click-slide

Zebras

In the past year, you’ve been flooded with thousands of memories of Ethan. It’s as if each day, your grief would decide to set off into the dense forest of your mind with a little foraging basket. Throughout the day, your grief would dump the basket out at your feet and ask, “Can we make sense of it now?”

And you would tell your grief, “No. None of it makes sense.”

So it would go out again, filling the wicker basket to the brim, emptying it at your feet. Again, you wouldn’t be able to derive anything from this mess. Grief would dump the memories again and again and again until they were piled above your head and you would say, “That’s enough! I’m fucking drowning!”

But even then it wouldn’t stop. It would sift through the pile and shove them down your throat, “What about this? Is this something?”

There you were, every single day, choking on the memories of your life with Ethan. Sometimes you thought it would kill you. Obviously, it never did. But there were some days you would have preferred death over this torture.

The forest of your mind has become picked over. Grief has slowed its frantic collecting, tired of finding the same things over and over again. Most days, it’s manageable. You don’t feel like you’re drowning anymore.

Every once in a while, it comes to you bearing something shiny and new, asking with hope, “Is this it?”

And you clear your throat, testing its width and integrity, and you know it won’t choke you. Not actually.

And, throughout the past year, where grief has replaced your husband as your primary partner, you’ve been able to reduce this tragedy to seven distinct 3-D images. Of course, nothing will make it make sense, not really, because tragedy is senseless. And nothing will make him come back, not really, because Ethan crossed the threshold of death where there’s no return to his body.

You can’t say he stayed behind the thick membrane of the afterlife because he’s still here in some ways. Not in the memories that grief brings you or cheering from the sidelines, like how it is with your dad and grandparents. Ethan does exist in these ways, but also as a presence that clings to your skin and makes your hair stand on edge. Tangled in the thin veil between this life and the afterwards.

But those seven images you’ve isolated into a View-Master reel… you know that there’s something significant held in those moments.

The honeybees that crawled around your bridal bouquet.

Click-slide

The fingerprint ink pad when you were booked for drug trafficking charges.

Click-slide

The infinite, tunneled reflection of the mirror maze.

Click-slide

The IV drip of antibiotics being replaced with another as Ethan cried and held your hand.

Click-slide

The pile of crescent moon fingernail clippings on your mother’s dining room table.

Click-slide

The black ink stain on your carpet.

Click-slide

The picture of him and his brother that you found on the floor of his room.

Click-slide

The honeybees that crawled around your bridal bouquet.

You’re in the psychomanteum, gripping the tangerine armchair so hard your knuckles are tinted white. You only allow yourself to glance at each image for a moment before yanking on the lever for the next. When you reach the beginning of the reel again, you study the mirror and only see opaque, unmoving blackness. What Dieter told you that day in his suite at the Plaza echos back into your mind:

“He tries to talk to you. But you’re closed off. That’s why he couldn’t come through the psychomanteum.”

The click-slide of the View-Master makes you flinch. You slow down this time.

The fingerprint ink pad when you were booked for drug trafficking charges. Under arrest for selling controlled substances in the 4th degree, a Class C felony in the state of New York. The cops tried to plea bargain with you, offering to drop charges in exchange for testimony against your husband. Your assigned public defender urged you to take this deal, but you refused.

“You should’ve taken it, Lou,” Ethan told you afterwards, “Don’t ever take the fall for me like that again, you hear me?”

Click-slide

The infinite, tunneled reflection of the mirror maze. Where you and Ethan, stoned out of your fucking gourds, found a little boy crumpled on the floor crying. You consoled him and then the three of you found your way to the exit together and returned the boy to his mom.

“We parented the shit out of that,” he told you later, “I think we’d make a pretty good team.”

Click-slide

The IV drip of antibiotics being replaced with another as Ethan cried and held your hand. An OB/GYN just advised that the infection was so severe, your reproductive organs were damaged beyond repair. The scarring told the doctors that conception would be almost impossible.

Ethan’s choked sobs, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I should have told you.”

Click-slide

The pile of crescent moon fingernail clippings on your mother’s dining room table. Ragged edges where they were just attached to you. Your mom screaming at Ethan, “You ruined her fucking life, you worthless piece of shit.”

You stop there.

The memory settles in your body like you swallowed a quart of battery acid. Your throat burns and your eyes well up with tears. The caustic substance eats through the layers of your stomach and pools inside you, liquefying your guts.

You look up at the mirror and all you see is the blackest ink in the city and a fucking abyss of darkness and nothing at all.

Your grip on the chair tightens. More than anything in the world you want to leave. But you somehow know that he can hear you and you need to tell him.

“Ethan-”

A sob catches in your throat. You bury your head in your hands and squeeze your eyes closed, trying to calm the hysteria buzzing across your tightening skin. When your breath starts to even out, you continue in a shaky voice, “I- I know you’re here. And- and I’m sorry, I don’t think I can do this right now. It’s too hard. I’m sorry. It’s-”

An unbearable ache radiates from your heart. You sag down further into your own lap, digging your fingers into your hair and tugging at it just to feel some kind of external pain, “It’s my fault. I know it is. I’m s-s-so sorry.”

It’s like your whole body is collapsing in on itself, dissolving cell by cell without mercy. Your heaving chest pulls your sobs so tight they just come out airy like a dog whistle.

“Lou, it’s not your fuckin’ fault,” Ethan’s coarse voice cuts through your mind like a machete.

Your spine stiffens and you sit up, wiping the hot tears from your face, “Wh-what?”

Just when you think it was your imagination, some kind of an auditory hallucination your inflamed mind conjured up to make you feel better, you hear him again.

“That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. Christ’s sake, Lou, of course it’s not your fault.”

You blink and sniffle, furrowing your brow when you see that you’re still in the psychomanteum, mirror unchanged.

“I love you and I’m sorry,” he cuts through again, “But it’s not your fault and I couldn’t let you go on not knowing that, ok?”

And you feel him, like you used to. Before the coke deteriorated him into a stranger. His presence is a blanket around your shoulders, protecting you and keeping you warm.

Your heart pounds so thick with love it’s like a miracle salve on your open wounds. The tissues and organs so putrid and rotted, a puddle at your feet just a moment ago, start to regenerate and reassemble.

Your chest flutters and you nod, “Ok. I- I love you too.”

“I know you do, baby.”

You whisper, “I miss you so much. Fuck, it sucks so much without you.”

He doesn’t say anything, but you understand that he hears you.

You swallow the thick saliva in your throat and ask him hesitantly, “How do you… feel about Dieter?”

“You know, I always liked him,” Ethan tells you, “Triangle guy. Know who else is a triangle guy?”

Your stomach flips and you chuckle, dropping your gaze to your trembling hands “Me.”

“That’s right,” he says, and you swear you can hear the smile in his voice, “Listen, Lou, I want you to be happy.”

“Ok,” you sniffle. The ache in your chest swells. You twist around the plain white gold wedding band on your ring finger.

“Does he make you happy?”

“Yeah,” you smile and your vision goes blurry with tears as you nod, “Yeah, he really does.”

“Well, there you go.”

You wipe your eyes on the sleeve of your sweater and chuckle, “You gotta let him be, though. Stop trying to scare him off.”

“Hey now, I just needed to get your attention. You don’t have to worry about me any more, ok? I’m gonna get out of your hair.”

“Can I visit with you this way? With the, um, psychomanteum?”

“Anytime, babe,” his voice is warm and reassuring, “Hey, remember our first dance? That Everly Brothers song?”

“Yeah,” you grin, then sing softly, “Whenever I want you, all I have to do is dream. Dream, dream, dream…”

His presence starts to wane.

Then he’s gone.

You take a deep breath and fold your legs up underneath you, dwelling in the stillness. The ache in your body fades into a whisper. Your crying slows to a trickle.

When you swing the closet door open and step into your bedroom, you find Dieter pacing back and forth at the foot of your bed. He strides up to you immediately, his brows pressed together and warm brown eyes wide with worry. His hands cup your cheeks as he searches your face with the silent question: Did it work?

Tears burn behind your eyes again, a fresh new wave. Residual sorrow. Relief. You manage a tight nod before the sobs start vibrating through your ribcage.

“C’mere sweetheart,” he rumbles, presses a kiss into your forehead, and pulls you into a hug.

As you let the heaviness inside your soul expel through your heaving chest, Dieter guides you to your bed. You follow his persuasion, curling up against him. He holds you close and pets your hair, assuring you in a hoarse whisper, “You did great, Lua. I’m so proud of you.”

You wipe your face with the sleeve of your sweater and meet his gaze, “Thank you.”

His lips twitch into a smile and his thumb grazes your cheek. You relax into his side again with a content sigh, feeling the emotional fatigue start to set in, “I’m so sleepy now.”

“Take a nap, doll,” he murmurs, “I’ll wake you up in time to get ready.”

His thumb works against your shoulder in a soothing back and forth rhythm. It works like hypnosis, lulling you into a deep seeded comfort, blooming in your chest with a yawn. Your bones feel heavy inside your body.

“Mmmm ok,” you manage to slur out before your eyelids flutter shut and the world goes dark.

The main dining room of Gabriel Kreuther is lavish, but cozy. Wood beams stretch up the walls towards the curved ceiling, from which a flock of sparkling crystal storks hang. The table cloth and wide, upholstered chairs are a creamy white. Rosé cloth napkins and a gold lamp sit on the table and add a touch of soft romance to the atmosphere.

Dieter sits perpendicular to you, grinning as he watches your sparkling eyes study the menu. His gaze drops down the black satin shoulder straps of your dress, following the plunging v neckline. He licks his lips. A wave of smooth, shiny fabric flares out from the cinched waist. That fucking dress, Louella, holy shit.

“Is it too boob-y?” you asked him after getting dressed, looking down into your own cleavage with a frown. Then you turned around and showed him the back, adding an addendum to your question, “Or too short?”

Most of your back was left exposed by the garment. The hem sat just below your ass, teasing his hungry eyes. To most people, the answer would probably be yes. But he fucking needed to take you out while wearing it. Needed to show you off and make spectators ripe with envy at this stunning woman he somehow managed to woo.

He ached with lust and shook his head, practically drooling, “I refuse to let you leave in anything else.”

Dieter drinks in your form now, thinking of all the things he wants to do to you. Imagines his cock smashed between your tits, thrusting slick along your sternum as you push your tender flesh together around him. Imagines your pink painted lips sealed around his girth, face shiny with spit, eyes watering as he fucks your mouth. Imagines your cunt, all swollen and begging for attention. Sliding his finger along the wet seam of you, watching the breath enter your lungs in a gasp.

“Are we doing three courses or four?” you ask, pulling him from his depraved thoughts.

He clears his throat and scoots his chair closer to the table, trying to conceal the erection that manifested while his mind ran rampant, “Fuck it, let’s do four.”

Or five, he thinks, imagining himself crawling under this table on his hands and knees just to taste you.

“You ok?” you chuckle, raising an eyebrow at his lingering gaze.

He looks around to make sure nobody is within earshot, then leans in and husks, “I want you so fucking bad right now.”

Your lips part and your tongue darts between them, then your eyelashes flutter, “Well, you’re gonna have to be patient, then, aren’t you?”

A hum emits from his throat involuntarily. He throbs against the seam of his pants.

You react to this with a quick glance to his mouth as you purr, “You’re gonna be a good boy for me, right?”

He swallows a moan. Your lips curl into a sultry, knowing smile. You press your eyebrows together, batting your lashes, pouting your lips, “Because good boys get rewarded. Is that what you want?”

“Holy fuck-” he rasps, leaning towards you.

“Yes or no,” you’re so close he can feel the words against his lips.

“Yes,” he croaks. His ears feel hot, pulse thudding hard against his neck, cock stiff and leaking against the constraints of his slacks. Pleasure tingles at his core and he wants desperately to bend you over the table and fuck you right here, right now.

“Then you’ll be a good boy for me, right, Dee?” you whisper the words, and your lips stay apart from the utterance of his name, tongue poised at the entrance of your mouth. The restaurant fades into the distance. Nothing else in the world exists except your lips, your tongue, your hot gaze on him.

“Yes,” he manages.

You drag your finger along his jaw and coo, “Good.”

“Hi, my name is Liz and I’ll be your server, how are we doing tonight?” a squeaky voice sounds from the opposite corner of the table.

You jolt upright and smile politely up at her, “Hi, good, how are you?”

The two of you go back and forth a little. He’s not sure what you’re talking about, because he’s still lost in a wanton haze, trying to catch his breath, staring at you with heat in his eyes. Eventually you blink at him, as if the faceless waitress asked him a question.

He shakes his head back and forth, trying to snap out of it, clears his throat, and looks down at his menu with a frown, “I uh… I’ll have what she’s having.”

The waitress, as it turns out, does have a face, and when he glances up at her, her bright blue eyes widen in recognition, “Oh wow, Dieter Bravo?”

He smiles and nods, extending his sweaty hand across the table, being sure not to stand up and present his tented crotch to the poor girl, “Yeah, what’s your name?”

“Liz,” she reminds him and shakes his hand.

“You already told us that, sorry,” Dieter chuckles at himself, “Nice to meet you, Liz. Hey, could we get a bottle of champagne?”

“Nice to meet you, too,” she beams a wide, starstruck smile, “Oh, um, of course. Which one?”

“Well,” he sighs, glancing at you, then clasps his hands together and shrugs, “Most expensive one you have. We’re celebrating.”

“Absolutely. If you don’t mind me asking, what are you two celebrating tonight?”

He frowns and tilts his head towards you, not sure what to say. You take this as your cue to explain.

“We exorcized my apartment,” you tell her, grinning from ear-to-ear.

The waitress’s mouth gapes open in confusion, and she looks to Dieter for guidance on how to navigate the response, but he just bursts out laughing.

You wince and your face gets all flushed, “Sorry, I-”

“No, you’re right,” Dieter assures you, his voice still quivering with laughter, then flashes a charming smile to the waitress, “Thank you so much, darling.”

“Oh, um,” her cheeks tinge pink and she tucks her hair behind her ear, “You’re so very welcome, sir. I’ll be right back with the champagne.”

After the waitress walks away, he swivels his gaze to you with an amused grin, “Woooow.”

“I’m so sorry,“ you put your hand over your mouth and laugh, “Why did you take me out, again?”

His smile stretches wide and he releases a content sigh, “Because I like you.”

“Good,” you smirk, dropping your gaze to his lips, “Can I kiss you, or is that not allowed in public?”

“God, please kiss me,” he murmurs, leaning in towards you.

“Yeah?” you smile, your shining eyes meeting his before they flutter closed and you drift closer.

Dieter hums in the affirmative, pressing his lips against yours. Your lips are so fucking soft and warm and he loses himself in the kiss. His throat rumbles with want and he brings his hand to the nape of your neck, pulling you closer, kissing you deeper, savoring the taste of your saliva and the perfect way your tongue rolls against his, and the the huffy, barely audible little whines that squeak from your mouth.

He could lose himself for hours like this.

Liz interrupts again, gently placing a bucket of ice and two champagne flutes on the table.

You pull back, clearing your throat before telling her, “Thank you so much.”

“I apologize, I totally forgot to ask before, and- and my manager just reminded me,” Liz grimaces, “Can I take a peek at your IDs for the champagne? If I don’t I’ll get in trouble, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s no problem,” you assure her with a wave. Both of you pull out your wallets and hand your ID cards to Liz, who surveys them both, eyes lingering on yours for a bit longer than his.

She hands them back and flashes a cheery smile, “Perfect, thank you. I’ll be right back with that bottle.”

Once the driver puts the black SUV in drive and sets course for your apartment, Dieter rests his hand on your leg. An electric current buzzes under his skin, pulsing from his head to his toes.

It’s a miracle he held it together in the restaurant. You didn’t make it easy. Gazing over at him with fuck-me-eyes. Wearing that goddamn dress. Purring in his ear between each course, “Look at you, being so patient.”

And:

“You’re doing so fucking good, Dee.”

And, his personal favorite:

“Are you thinking of all the fun treats you’ll get if you keep it up, baby?”

He sets his thumb in motion and lightly grips the soft flesh of your thigh, leaning close to your ear to murmur, “So how’d I do? Was I a good boy?”

“Oh, Dee,” you coo and plug your index finger into his jugular notch, then drag your fingernail up the center of his throat. Over every ridge and valley. You split his adam’s apple in half. Your nail catches against the grain of every stubbled hair in its path. Curls up to the bottom of his chin.

And he’s yours, all yours.

“You were such a good boy,” you whisper, and it strikes your vocal chords just enough to gain a raspy edge, “I think you should get a reward, don’t you?”

Dieter nods, his fingers working further up your thigh, closer to your heat, “I think so.”

“Go ahead, baby,” you breathe, letting your legs fall open for him, “You deserve it.”

The closer his hand slides to your sex, the hotter it gets. You whine and arch your back against the seatbelt.

“Jesus fucking Christ, Lua,” he chokes out, pulling your underwear to the side, “I can feel my fingers defrosting.”

You giggle just as his knuckle grazes your clit, and your breath hitches.

“Look at me, baby,” Dieter husks. You do, and your eyes are all glazed over and dark in the passing streetlights. He presses his forehead against yours and strokes the sensitive nub, slow and meticulous, and your eyelids flutter.

“That’s perfect,” you whimper, nodding your head in approval. Each pant from your lips becomes more vocal than the last. He kicks himself for not getting a ride in something with a fucking privacy partition.

Dieter turns towards the driver and asks, “Do you mind turning on the radio?”

The man mutters something to himself, then twists the volume knob on his stereo. An upbeat pop song fills the silence between your strained whimpers.

Dieter brings his focus back to you. Your face, all twisted up with pleasure. Your swollen clit under the gentle strumming of his knuckle. Your lips, fuck, your goddamn lips. All pouty and wet from your own spit because you can’t stop licking and biting at them.

“Faster, Dee,” you whine, knees falling further apart.

He adjusts his touch, dragging his fingers through your slick before quickening his pace, drawing circles around the erogenous bud, “Like this?”

“Yes- oh, fuck. That’s it, baby,” you purr.

Dieter rasps into your ear, “So fucking wet for me, Lua, oh my god-”

He glides his touch down your seam, and you’re so fucking gooey and hot, coating his fingertips. A whimper flutters from your lips when he traces your soaked entrance. Your tight cunt squeezes around him as he slides two fingers inside you.

You gasp and cover your mouth.

He stiffens his fingers into a hook, pulling up through the drenched silken fabric of your pussy to that rubbery plane that makes you muffle your own choked moan. His thumb finds your clit and starts to roll against it. Your back arches towards the roof of the car and you nod and whimper under his control.

His heart starts pounding as he watches you start to lose yourself in his touch. Beads of sweat gathering on your forehead, muted moans against your trembling hand, the steady pressure of his fingers hooked into your g-spot, the incessant strumming of your clit.

He brings his lips to your ear and whispers, “Wanna see you cum all over the seat of this fucking car, baby, can I do that? Can I make you soak this fucking seat?”

You nod frantically and withdraw your hand from your mouth, panting, “So fucking good, holy fuck, Dee, you’re such a good boy-“

And you’re getting frenzied and louder, so he kisses you, and he rubs you from the inside now, too, little movements he has to strain himself to control. You gasp against his mouth and pull back, grabbing your car seat head rest with one hand as the other clamps over your mouth, your eyes fluttering, limbs shaking, and he’s in fucking awe of how breathtakingly hot you are right now.

The moans are barely dampened by your hand and he’s sure the driver can hear you but he doesn’t fucking care, all that matters is your shivering body and his hand all wrapped around your cunt as your breath hitches and the walls around his fingers spasm and you’re practically fucking howling he could just marry you right now jesus fucking christ. You cum hard, your delicious nectar marking everything between your pulsing pussy and the back of the driver’s seat.

You collapse back into your seat, chest heaving, and look up at him with dreamy, half-lidded eyes, smiling sweetly. He pulls his fingers out of you and brings them to his mouth, sucking your cum off each digit with reverence. You tug on his jacket and pull him into a gentle kiss.

The driver clears his throat and Dieter looks around outside the vehicle, realizing it’s in park in front of your apartment, “Oh shit, we’re here.”

“I didn’t want to… interrupt,” the driver tells him awkwardly, confirming his suspicion that your backseat activities were not discreet.

Lua, you fucking angel, you burst out laughing, “I’m so sorry!”

Dieter tips the man $200 and the two of you make your way up to your apartment.

[ Next Chapter ]

#dieter bravo x f!reader #dieter bravo x female reader #dieter bravo x reader #dieter bravo x you #dieter bravo #dieter bravo x ofc #dieter bravo fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal characters #pedro pascal character fanfic #pedro pascal character #pedro pascal #the bubble fanfiction #psychomanteum

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bee-saucee · 3 months

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Hello, again~!

I've been doing all I can to not bombard you since last time, so now here I am. I love seeing men and people in general being able to show their ability to cook and nourish their loved ones through food. What does that look like for Shinso and Denki? Are they adventurous in their cooking? What kinds of dishes and foods are always in the fridge? Snacking? Who cooks the most? And when is a time that they would eat food outside the house? Anyhoo, hope you're doing well this first month of the year. And go bonkers sksk wherever your thought train takes you. ^-^

summary: ShinKami’s habits with eating, snacking, and cooking!

word count: 496

warnings: eating/food centered content

a/n: Hello again, friend! I’ll start with the important thing: This request is split up into three separate ones. I have a headcanons (this post), a short oneshot, and a longer oneshot. They have different vibes so I didn’t want anyone to not be able to read something or be put off because of one of these pieces. I’ll link the other posts at the end of this piece as well!

Anyway, I am so sorry I’m getting this back to you so late. I started my new semester at University when you sent this so I’ve been reeling trying to get back into the swing of things. That being said, I wanted to try and write something substantial for you to make up for the long wait. I’m also taking two writing courses the semester for fun so hopefully you see a bit of improvement here!

Hope you’re doing well. Thank you so so much for the request. I’d love to write something for you again.

I think that ShinKami has a lot of fun in the kitchen! When they met, they weren’t the savviest in the kitchen. They’re the type to know how to make maybe 3 dishes well but when they got together they decided to start on the journey of learning how to cook together! Cooking along with YouTube videos every night is a time that brings them together and they love cooking a homemade meal for date night

Even before learning how to cook for one another, Shinsou grew up on homemade soup when you’re sick so he always always makes Denki some chicken noodle soup when he’s sick and it never fails to make Denki cry a bit and get even snottier from the tears

Denki knows he’s not the best chef but he likes baking because the steps and measurements are a lot more clearly defined so he has an easier time with it. For just about every holiday, Denki will make some cookies for his loved ones. They come out lopsided and aren’t fully cooked a lot of the time but it's the thought that counts for these and he’s gotten better over the years.

From watching so much food content on YouTube to learn how to cook they have become hardcore sauce people

Shinsou is by far the more organized between the two of them so he keeps everything in the fridge in Pyrex tupperware they got as a housewarming gift from Aizawa. He also writes the date they made the food on masking tape he slaps on the tupperware because the thought of eating expired food makes his toes curl

They are busy pro heroes so while they like fresh food (especially Shinsou, see previous bullet point), they tend to keep rice ready to go for each night and they usually have pasta sometime during the week because they can never finish it (Denki swears you have to use the entire box of pasta each time. He’s working on scaling it back)

For snacks, I think that they always have peanut butter pretzels and apples in the house but they also love going to the store and trying out new snacks, especially those chips with with odd combos

They really do try to cook together but Shinsou will wind up picking up cooking by himself a bit more than Denki does because he tends to forget about things or tag along for hangouts last minute while Shinsou is a homebody

Shinkami also LOVES eating out! Of course for celebrations but they also love going out to a restaurant for date nights to slow down and get a chance to just talk. They’ll also stop at hole-in-the-wall type places near their work at the end of the day when they don’t have the energy to cook. They’re not super big takeout people because they hate the delivery fees but they will get it occasionally!

Lots of eating batter off the spoon when they bake

Check out the other posts based on this request: short oneshot | longer oneshot

or see my masterlist for more!

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asoftspotforangels · 3 days

Text

so I was tagged three times lately so I am putting it all in one post XD

from least to most difficult askfhjadkhfjkdlhaf

from @hardboiledteacozy 💝

⟡ rules : answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with!

⟡ fav color : green 💚

⟡ last song : Moment's Silence (Common Tongue) by Hozier

⟡ last movie : Barbie (I haven't seen any movie since last year lol). tv series - 1670

⟡ currently reading : I just finished I'm Glad My Mom Died by Jennette McCurdy and started 1F: Fukushima I Nuclear Power Plant Work Log by Tatsuta Kazuto

⟡ currently watching : Dungeon Meshi 🍳

⟡ currently craving : some nice juicy oranges 😔 if anyone has tips on how to choose the best oranges, let me know pls

⟡ coffee or tea : I like coffee only if it's a sweet treat (so with milk and sugar or some sugary syrup); tea, however !! 🥰 a few days ago I opened a blend I got who knows how many years ago and from where or from whom, it's green and white tea, and it's soooo gooood~

from @minnichan 💗

Rules: pick a song for each letter of your url and tag that many people. my url is too long for that lol

I have a playlist for songs I currently listen to, let's see if it's enought to complete this game… there's not a huge variety of artists tho ^^"

A - Appaloosa by Lor S - Sinktank by Inabakumori O - Overdose by Natori (hi minni!!!! I saw a cover of it in one of your asks lately!!! :3) F - fanfiction by Lor (yes, that's a lyrics video on their official channel xd) T - Tail by Sunmi (when will she come back to Poland TT__TT) S - Sweet Dream from Alien Stage by C!naH / by BL8M (I have both versions on my playlist, yeah) P - Post Shelter by Inabakumori O - Order of Silence from Genshin (ost from Cyno's demo) T - Trafalgar Square by Lor F - FightSong by Eve O - Overture from Jesus Christ Superstar 1996 R - Ruler Of My Heart from Alien Stage ( ‼ spoilers from Alien Stage here ‼ cw: blood, violence, death, panic attack) A - agaki (亜ガキ) by Ora (sometimes the background music skips between left and right side and I love it) N - Nonsense Bungaku by Eve G - A Gentleman's Fantasy from Honkai Star Rail (amazing boss theme!!) E - Ezra Was Right by Grandbrothers (this one starts quite slowly, if you're impatient you can start at 3:15 xD) L - Lagtrain by Inabakumori S - $hrek 2 by Lor (cw: guys without shirts fighting at school)

Lor is a Polish band that I recommend with my whole heart :3

many Eve's MVs are like short animes, I love them so so much

the whole Alien Stage is quite short, because it's basically made of music videos and there's less than 10 rn (here's a playlist for anyone interested) (but it can be quite triggering sometimes)

fuck gachas and their gambling, but genshin and star rail have amazing music

here's a very fun fact: I started listening to Eve and Inabakumori last year on April 17 and May 4 respectively, so about a year ago!!

from @dangerliesbeforeyou 💖

list 5 topics i can talk on for an hour without preparing any material

this one's difficult!!!! because I can endlessly talk about my fandoms and blorbos........only. I don't feel knowledgeable on anything specific, but I could, however, ramble on about my interests

I'm back to that Stardew Valley Grind™ rn so I could talk a lot about my farm. my first farm. year three, winter, and it's probably the ugliest farm you've ever seen. and. and also. my cyhaino sdv au brainrot. 😳

genshin, especially my ultimate blorbo Alhaitham 🌱 idk, I just like this guy, I saw first leaks and I was like 👉 this guy. this is my dude.

my babeys blue lions from fire emblem 3 houses 😭 I chose them in my first playthrough and I still do NOT care about anyone else (that's an exaggeration, I care about others, but... not as much... 😔) also, Sylvain is there and flirty red guys are my ultimate weakness. I know he can, just, switch to your house if you're playing female Byleth (lol), but I don't want to separate him from his friends 😭 they're all traumatised and need hugs

painting and drawing! lately I fell back in love in traditional art and I picked up acrylic painting, and I'm watching a lot of videos and learning a lot - by my own trial and error too, but it's fun!

various handcraft I learned - embroidery, crocheting, knitting, punch needle, sewing - and stuff I created. I don't do all these all the time, only when I feel like it so.....irregularly lol! but I have lots of ideas and some plans, and unfinished works

tagging: @natowe @one-trash-alek @hardboiledteacozy @dangerliesbeforeyou @minnichan

@vanyafresita @giosele @shuuenka @thebrokenwriter911

tagging everyone for everything, do whichever you want or nothing at all, no pressure ✨

(but I love reading other people's answers :3)

pretty dividers from @cafekitsune (x)

#Agnieszka talks #I had to separate the tagging because I couldn't @ more than 5 people in one line ._.

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lowkeyrobin · 4 days

Text

JUICYFRUITSNACKS ; asylum

summary ; you're mully's friend and tag along to explore a haunted mental asylum

warnings : language, ghost talking bullshit

disclaimers ; I only referred to him as juicy bc idrk if he's cool w us calling him his real name and I'm not trying to be parasocial 💪

word count ; 2.2k

y/f/I = your first initial

masterlist

Juicy enjoyed spending time with his boys, a lot. They were the best of friends, after all. But he also really enjoyed spending time with both them and you.

You've known Mr. Mully since you were young. You didn’t know the rest of his friends super well, but you took a liking to Juicy. You and Juicy weren't tight or anything, but you were friends nonetheless.

Tonight, you were exploring a haunted asylum with The Boys and Sam and Colby. You tagged along, wanting to experience some paranormal shit because why not. You’d binge-watched all of The Boys’ previous videos at haunted places and wanted to get a slice for yourself.

The group of you plus the camera people sit on the floor around one of the REM pods, with Sam acting as the communication between worlds. The blonde had sound-proof headphones on, connected to the spirit box in his hand, and a bandana wrapped around his eyes for proof that he couldn't see nor hear anything you guys were saying to the ghosts.

You sat next to Juicy in the corner, being the only person, other than Mully, you really knew out of these people. You intently listen as the guys hold a full conversation with whatever spirit/s were in the room for a solid hour or so, watching as they all freak out after receiving creepy replies or ones referencing their names.

You and Juicy would often share looks or glances, usually scared, confused, or curious.

After that, you split up into two teams to complete challenges around the building. You were with Colby, Mully, and Eddie, while Sam hosted the opposite group with Josh, Juicy, and Narrator.

"We're team Demon"

"We're gonna catch a big demon"

"Yeah, we got big D"

"We're team C(y/f/i)EM." Eddie nods, "C-(y/f/i)-E-M"

"Stop stalling"

"Fuck"

The four of you head over to the men's infirmary, Eddie, with the camera around his neck. Last time The Boys were here, they went down the dark, scary, main hallway with only the flash of their phone cameras. You go all the way down the hall, and all the way back, your only source of light being the camera flashing for a split second.

You and Dos, as the three were heading back, were moving around as the camera flashed to mock a spirit. The boys were laughing about it, still scared a spirit would jump out and attack them. Once they got back and looked over the pictures, they didn't find anything and considered it a mission complete. You, however, wanted to go down by yourself as you'd been hearing whispers almost the whole time you'd been in this area.

You couldn't tell if it was you hallucinating from exhaustion or if you were actually hearing things, but you wanted to see what it was as curiosity always got the best of you. You graciously take the camera from Eddie and line yourself up at the start of the hallway, the boys turning off their flashlights for you.

"Dude, you're acting like a horror movie character" Colby comments with a chuckle, "This is the dumbest shit ever"

"Says you," you whisper, making your first few steps down the hallway.

You can whispering belonging to Eddie behind you, but also some other, unintelligible whispering sounds that definitely didn't belong to one of the guys, nor was it even behind you. It sounded like it was more in front of you if anything.

You squint in the dark, then take a picture, using the flash to illuminate your way forward. You look into the doors on each side of you after progression another couple steps, unable to see, though. You're just trying to find where all that whispering was coming from. It was like someone was moving through the rooms to lead you down the hallway.

You continue, taking pictures every handful of steps so as not to walk into something and know where you were.

"You okay?" Mully calls, your silence giving him a weird feeling in his stomach.

"Yeah" You reply quietly, taking another few steps forward. "I hear whispering. Like, it's not stopping. I wanna find it" You mumble.

"I swear to God, if you go missing, we are not liable!" Eddie exclaims, "Why the fuck are you investigating?"

"I'm curious!"

"Curiosity always kills the cat, but okay" Mully chuckles.

You make your way to the end of the hall, whispering as loud as it possibly could be, like it was directly in your ears. You feel a shiver trail down your spine, and a wave of cold, like the feeling after just opening the freezer, hit you out of nowhere.

"Holy shit!" You exclaim, quickly stepping back while taking a photo, "Uh-uh, nope! Pussying out now, bye-bye!"

"What happened?"

"Are you okay?"

"Dude, what happened?"

You quickly run back down the hallway, not bothering to use the camera flash as they turned their flashlights back on after hearing you yelp and your footsteps running back to them. You quickly hand the camera back, the uneasy cold feeling not having left you at all.

"Holy shit, what the fuck?" You speak, catching your breath as you lean against the door, looking down the hallway. "Dude, I got to like, the end of the hallway and the whispering I was talking about, it was like, in my ears. Then I felt like that kind of cold feeling like when you open a freezer up, like how it just hits you and sometimes gives you goosebumps instantly. I swear I felt like an actual force on my shoulders, I can't even make this shit up"

"Bro, what the hell?"

"You're kidding"

"No way"

"Dude, I can not be more serious right now." You nervously smile, shaking your head. "That's one of the freakiest things I've ever experienced. Like, I'm genuinley scared now, I've never been this fucking, like, paranoid over something like this"

"Nah, I'm getting the fuck outta here" Eddie shakes his head, reaching for the door as you move out of the way for him. Mully quickly follows in agreement, as both of them wanted to go home the most out of all of you.

Dos follows them as they shout for you and Colby, trying to jog away and go find the others in the main building.

You and the leather wearing brunette walk side by side in silence, following the trio in front of you fairly closely. You stand in a circle, waiting for a text back from Juicy as to where they were, not wanting to walk around the whole building in search of them. He quickly makes his way down to you guys, deciding to lead you all back up to where they were located.

Mully and Eddie strike up a conversation while Colby listens, standing next to you, who's staring down at his feet and the grass. You were mostly trying to make sense of what you felt in the men's infirmary, feeling confused and shocked, as that's the most paranormal action you'd ever felt for yourself. Juicy arrives, picking up on your nervousness in silence, yet decides to not point it out while he talks to Eddie, Mully and Colby before you all walk up a million flights of stairs.

Juicy, unknowing to you, was staring at you again. He'd been doing it all night. You were the only person oblivious to it, however. Eddie and Mully quickly catch onto his attracted gazes towards you, though staying silent as they'd definitely be joking about it soon enough to the others. They were talking about it with Colby once you were far enough away, trying to get more people to help with the job of wingman-ing. The brunette quickly notices he's staring and that the others have caught on, and quickly joins in on the conversation, wanting to try and hide the fact he was doing it again.

From sitting criss-cross-applesauce on the floor earlier, back to even at lunch outings earlier this week, he’s been doing it for a while. He’s a little surprised you haven't noticed, or at least brought it up.

He was so clearly head over heels it wasn't even funny anymore. He was downright in love.

You look back up and then behind you, looking around just to take in your surroundings again. You listen to their conversation, rocking on your heels. Juicy's mind races a million miles a minute, mind cluttered by you, the conversation at hand, and the video being recorded tonight.

On the walk up to Sam's group, or Group Demon, you're the first to walk up the stairs, leading the other boys towards them. You were good at following directions, leaving Juicy to talk to his friends behind you. Juicy and Mully walk up side by side behind Dos and Eddie, a light conversation between them before Mully shakes it up.

"What's with you and Y/n? You got a crush on them or something?"

Juicy, flustered and a bit embarrassed, quickly shakes his head no. "No, no, not at all. What? Why? They’re your friend"

Mully rolls his eyes and Eddie quickly shouts back. "Yes you do! Stop lying to yourself!"

Mully nods, “They’re your friend to, y’know”

You clearly had no idea what any of them were talking about, still leading them onwards.

"Shut up!" Juicy whisper-shouts.

After finding Sam, Josh, and Narrator, you walk into the church and sit down on the wooden benches. Eddie stands at the podium, a large cross behind him. You sit next to Juicy on the right side of the room with the other members of The Boys. Colby and Sam sit together on the left side of the room.

Eddie recites a prayer in Spanish before speaking. "Tonight we party"

The room explodes into boyish cheers and laughter, all of you standing up. Eddie laughs before speaking again.

He shouts, "Sit down!"

You all go quiet and sit down.

"Fuck God!" You exclaim.

"Yeah, screw Jesus!" Juicy shouts

"God can suck my balls" Josh comments with a shrug.

"Oh my God, you're swearing in the house of the Lord!" Colby dramatically gasps

Eddie quickly recites another prayer, asking for the forgiveness of your sins. The REM Pod in the bench in front of you begins beeping, signaling some motion.

"Oh fuck no, bye guys!" Eddie quickly speaks, running back to sit next to Juicy.

"Bro, Mully, sit up" Josh laughs, watching you walk up to the podium after agreeing with the others to have a mini main character priest moment. "Sit up, dude. Service is commencing"

Mully groans. "What?"

"Sit up!"

He groans again as he sits up, no longer laying on the front bench. Josh and Narrator both mock his groan, playfully shouting at him as you clear your throat.

"Good morning everyone! It's..." You look to Juicy as he had his phone on him, which you knew.

"4:25"

"It's 4:25 in the morning. Early service today" You chuckle, "Coffee is right over there" You point to the side where a few trashed cans of energy drinks lay on the floor.

"How much do you dare me to drink it?" Juicy asks you.

"You blink for a moment. "You're gonna get AIDS if you even touch it, but be my guest, man"

They laugh, chanting Pope Y/n as it echoes off the walls.

"Today, my friends, we confront Juicyfruitsnacks and his undeniable crush on Y/n" Eddie laughs, looking over at the brunette next to him.

"Yo, what?"

"Huh?"

"Oooo his ass got caught!"

"You can't hear it but I'm cackling right now"

Eddie quickly pulls Juicy up to the podium with you, pushing you to the side. He stands at the podium with the younger brunette in front of you/to your side, as you both stand confused.

Eddie nearly raps as he speaks. "Today we are bringing this lovely couple together to wed in holy matrimony. God the Father, God the Son, God the Holy Spirit, bless, preserve and keep you; the Lord mercifully grant you the riches of his grace, that you may please him both in body and soul, and, living together in faith and love, may receive the blessings of eternal life. Amen. Juicy, Y/n, would you like to read your vows?"

The Boys laugh as you and Juicy share a smile and laugh as well.

"Since when were we getting married?" You question

"Since I had to become a wingman" Eddie shrugs as he replies. "So did they. Mostly Mully." He points towards the crowd of boys watching.

"What is happening right now?" You awkwardly laugh.

Juicy laughs as well, "I mean, he isn't lying"

The room is now silent.

"Wait, what?"

"Can I take you out sometime?"

You glance over at Eddie and then the boys, then look back at Juicy.

"Uh, sure"

The others explode into cheers you'd probably be able to hear outside, and the older brunette quickly wraps the both of you in a hug.

"Dude, too much has happened tonight, I got creeped on by a ghost and now I have to mentally prepare myself for a date"

"You love me!"

"Love is a strong word"

"They're already having couple-fights!"

"Eddie, I swear to God"

"No swearing in the house of the Lord!"

#lowkeyrobin #gender neutral reader #gn reader #they/them reader #gn! reader #juicyfruitsnacks #juicyfruitsnacks x reader #content creator x reader #twitch streamer x reader #juicy x reader

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