#talk to your friends

[melscrate]

sigh

I still gonna draw that sbi calendar I want to. Because for me characters are characters, without ties to cc's

But I send my sympathy to all affected by the recent news :( we should never forget that people are people first of all and are capable of doing shitty things, regardless the high pedestal we're putting them on, unfortunately.

#please be safe #and process this in a safe environment #talk to your friends #and heal

[stickypiratevoid]

I remember I still have screenshots from various Youtube comments about how sh1t3 Miraculous Ladybug is and how Marinette affects the mind of young impressionable kids. That's because I was still SALTY about Marinette being... you know what I mean. And yeah, I'm still salty but mostly apathetic because I deserve better than this crap of a show and Marinette again.

Since it's going to be a waste to let my wasted time to be mostly for naught, won't you take a little peek at my secret file? It won't bite.

Unless you see some concerning individuals and their opinions from these screenshots, I'll let you all decide. Just comment down the notes and once I got an audience I will unleash the chaos.

#kids show #miraculous slander #ml slander #ml salt #miraculous ladybug salt #marinette salt #just in case #writing salt #to think that is a good enough excuse #agree to disagree #people deserve better than this #love yourself and find something that will fill you with wonders and joy of life #not frustrations and anger at the wasted potential #seriously #talk to your friends

[aguynameddean]

If ever you have something on your mind that you want to express, post about it or talk to somebody about it. Never be afraid or anxious to write down your thoughts in fear of how it will be seen or judged by others. You’re doing what is best for you.

If nobody sees it online or responds to it, at least you expressed how you’re feeling and shared what is going on in your head rather than keep it to yourself. It can feel great to open up when the times right

#mental health quotes #mental health #social anxiety #actually autistic #autistic #talk to your friends #my thoughts

[the-cunt-of-montecristo]

An important message to heterosexuals, listen carefully: you do not, and I repeat do NOT, have to marry someone you actively dislike, don't enjoy spending time with and/or whose hobbies you despise. You do not have to do that!! stop doing that!!!

#and then act like it's the height if humour to talk shit about your partner among friends #ITS NOT FUNNY #STOP DOING THAT #mine

[oars]

#i feel like tge fact im apprehensive about posting this is kinda proving my point #the way everyone talks about both weight gain and weight loss is just horrendous #like idek if i could fit all i wanna say in here especially while im at work but #i so badly wish people could be normal about weight gain and talking about it #its like if youre not in some constant state of wanting to lose weight people want to kill you #god forbid you want to put on weight to feel more comfortable in your body outside of muscles and a butt #fatphobia is a given thats a whole other few paragraphs #im grateful i have mutuals and friends who are normal but ill have or hear these convos and go #ok i feel sick. why do i feel this way why do you feel that way. #anyways i think fatphobia is one of the worst things to ever happen

[metanarrates]

I genuinely feel like an alien compared to my coworkers when they try to chat with me about things like dating and weight loss. like what are you SAYING about "oh you know it's just so hard to make your man understand the instructions you give him?" why are you trying to connect with me by complaining that you gained 15 pounds? is this how most people form connections in the workplace? i for real do not get it

#narrates #i never notice how COMMON it is to talk about your partner like they're a burden or a fool #or about how common it is to discuss weight and weight loss #until im around people who AREN'T my family or friends #like shit you guys live like this????

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[chunghasgirlfriend]

text your friends guys !!

ngl i have this friend that i had a complicated thing with, not directly but through my other friends. long story short, he had a thing with my two friends when we were in high school and in the end, they stopped talking to him and slowly i did too. not that he did anything to me, just that i didn't want my two friends to feel bad and i've learned to NOT do that. he didn't do anything to me, so i'm a little sad about that i pushed him away without saying anything.

we both graduated high school this year, so i had talked to him all throughout that and even learned that he now drives, lives in the area of our uni now, and has a girlfriend now. we exchanged phone numbers and just decided that if we wanted to hang out we could, or at least know someone from our county

but anyways i recconnected with him when he wished me happy birthday and we started talking again. it was actually super cool to talk again. we're both going to the same uni and we were were just talking about it, like schedules and stuff. and it just so nice to have a friend again.

i pushed everyone away because i just didn't feel like talking to any of my friends. even prior to the situation with him and my friends, I just slowly stopped talking to my friends and stopped making new ones at school because i was just tired. I mean the people i was around were people I knew since middle school and I was just tired of seeing them. i didn't want to call my friends nor did i want to text them.

so reconnecting with my friend was really nice. when I went to my orientation, and i met the girl who I now currently have a crush on (see my other posts lol), I told him about her and he even started to cheer me on.

Like imagine me, this is a dude I've been friends with since 7th grade. He's seen all messy sides of me and how I've changed throughout the years, and TRUST ME, how much I say change. From my interests to how I act to my sexuality, he's seen it all. And me to him also. I guess it's just I'm so glad that I have a genuine friend that I can rely on and just talk to. I'm a lesbian and he's a straight taken guy, so it's not like we're interested in each other. Which is kinda new to me bc I've had mostly female friends and most of them I was kinda into or at least willing to date, so it's nice to have a friend that I'm genuinely not into to confide in.

And it was his birthday and since I was still awake at 12 am, I decided to text him happy birthday like he did to me and it was nice. I updated him about me and girl I like (we're getting lunch with our familes together when we move in together !!!) and he updated me on spending time with his gf and buying furniture. Like dude, we're actually becoming adults !!! how crazy is that ????

this was someone I used to just talk about anime and drawing with at 12/13, what the hell do you mean I'm getting to talk to him about moving into college and him buying furniture for a house ????

it's just...I feel really happy now. I have cute girl I like who I also just really enjoy as my friend. She's just as delusional as I am in all the right ways and she's also lgbtq+. And now I also have a dependable friend that I can count on to hang out with. I'm a little scared to leave for college, but I'm also incredibly excited. My life is finally looking up after the pandemic basically decimated my high school experience.

Make sure to text your friends guys. If you're like me, too cynical + too self aware, and think everything you do is cringey, trust me, your real friends won't give a shit. Just talk to them, if nothing else, it's nice to talk with someone else and just catch up. Our lives are always going in different trajectories, but if we have company beside us, it makes life a little less intimidating.

I've definitely been caught up in relationships that make me ignore the importance of friends and I've always been someone to emphasize friendships, but I've never taken my own advice. But now, I feel it more than ever. Relationships are great, but don't just throw away important friendships, especially when you're two friends trying to figure out adult life with.

#friendship #talk to your friends #check on your friends #it really does mean a lot #trust me #they also appreciate it

[florbe-triz]

Finally!! let me share with you the Trigun playlist I made! It's called NoMan's Land and you can listen to it HERE It's an evergrowing playlist, hope you enjoy!

#Trigun #trigun maximum #trigun stampede #vash the stampede #my art #and for the cover I had no idea what to do! #so I just did a redraw of the ost cover haha sorry #creativity isn't a very good friend of mine these days #oh but I hope you like the music !! #most of it talks about vash and the rest I leave it to your imagination uwu

[sexygaywizard]

I've been seeing a lot that people are really surprised and upset that pissvortex got banned, and while I think it's fucked up and shitty that he did get banned, I also don't think it's very surprising because- and here's something I think a lot of non-TERFs don't understand- TERFs navigate this website very differently from the rest of us. The standard reaction to any non-TERF encountering a TERF is to block them, and generally not engage. You know, we have block lists of TERFs that go around. TERFs themselves, they don't really do this shit. They don't have huge block lists of trannies- I mean that would be like 80% of the fucking site- what they do is they keep watch of accounts that they really fucking hate and they hang out in their little discord servers because they're petty and vicious and have nothing better to do than fill their lives with poison and venom, and they harass you to provoke you, and when you say some shit about how terfs should kill themselves or be scalped, they share it around between themselves and mass report it. And absolutely no large social media website, not Tumblr, not Twitter, not Facebook, is going to see a post that received hundreds of reports where you said that somebody should be scalped and think, "Oh but was the other person being like a real huge asshole though?" That's not how they work. They just ban you. Whatever moderator is managing that shit does not care enough to look into the larger societal wide context of why you said that. I'm not saying this to say that you should be kind to or play nice with TERFs, I'm just saying this so that you can perhaps have an awareness of how some of your posts may look to a moderator who's received hundreds of reports about them. They're playing a different game, so play smart

#and maybe get together with your friends and report their posts where they viscerally describe how they want to castrate all penis-havers #i talk

[feelingthedisaster]

aftg is probably the only fandom in which the fans do not recommend the books to others

#aftg fan: talks a lot about aftg /x: should i read it? / aftg fan: no #its always trying to convince your friends to read your favourite book #but not with aftg #and i think thats precious #unique #aftg #all for the game #nora sakavic #all for the gay #fandoms

[the-trans-advice-blog]

Please please please think of trans people of color when you’re going to make a generalized statement. When you’re making posts about passing tips, medical treatments for transitioning, even light hearted stereotypes include people of color in your sentiments.

As a black trans person it is so fucking isolating to see stuff I’m supposed to relate to only to find that they weren’t talking about me or people like me.

#especially as a young trans person trying to figure shit out #but none of the resources I found were for me #it feels like when your friends have a inside joke that you had to be there for #or they keep forgetting to invite you to stuff #marshal talks #transgender #trans #transmasc #ftm #lgbt #trans guy #ftm trans #nb #mtf #transfem #queer poc #queer #poc #trans poc

[stil-lindigo]

the machine.

a comic about being a 'creator' online.

creative notes:

#in light of recent online 'success' i feel like this may come off as ungrateful #just wanna say that all the comics i make in this series are written about experiences i felt in 2022 #which was a rough year personally and creatively #and i very luckily don't feel this way anymore #and this also isnt to shame anyone who DOES feel this way #its easy to start to feel like all you are is a vending machine of art #and like thats all you are to people #theres nothing human to you #it can be a bit of a pit #and on some level this damage is self inflicted but social media really doesnt help that feeling #this wont work for everyone but having friends around you who you can talk to about stuff that ISNT art #going outside for dinner #maybe walking around #its good for when you need that feeling to go away even a bit temporarily #youre a human being #not a mindless content creation machine #and i hope anyone who feels like this now can get to a place where they have a healthier relationship with their own work #good luck to all of you #and thank you for reading #comic art #its 10pm #stillindigo art

[cowardlykrow]

Stop light shenanigans

Extra:

#this came to me in the shower as most great thoughts do #I’m so sorry for this LONG ASS POst #Bill Woodward #ted spankoffski #paul matthews #My mom said this was a one one two but with an extra one…. which is boxing talk I guess #Basically ‘’ tom coming in with the left hook’’ #which I’ll take as this being at least somewhat funny #tho does it count when the only people you have to ask is who you got your humor from? #Tom Houston #digital art #digital drawing #art #fanart #Hatchetfield #Tgwdlm #nightmare time #jane’s a car #Is it obvious I have no friends in this fandom except my momma??? #starkid #hatchetfield fanart #black friday #//Komic

[un-pearable]

ngl one of the most useful things i’ve internalized from doing art online is never tell people what to criticize. don’t preemptively apologize for things or point out where you think you fumbled, it’s just priming people to notice minor issues that might not actually matter and hit you where you’re sensitive and throw you off your game. don’t tell people your weak points. if it’s a genuine problem they’ll point it out

#especially not if they’re the professor grading your assignment!!!!!!!!!! feel so bad for my friend #i cant tell him it now bc it’ll come across as mean but i feel so bad :( he kept apologizing for things he didn’t need to and it made him #seem unprepared. when he actually had 95% of what he needed and apologizing made it LOOK like he didn’t #text✨ #i’m making it sound very dramatic here but it’s straight up helped me so much with my anxiety #the above doesn’t apply if you’re looking for constructive criticism kr any thing #i’m very specifically talking about stuff like posting art online or giving a presentation or whatever

[rosekasa]

im feeling so unwell about them tonight

#so disgusting #get a room #miraculous ladybug #adrienette #adrinette #the other day me and my best friend were talking about moments where our otps make us feel almost repulsed #and i was like oh my god youre so right. #because there are momente LS will do things so unnecessarily cute that ill actually feel angry #like are you fucking serious? in front of my salad? #anyway #im mentally well #♡alizeh talks♡ #tagged:adrienette