#that’s different xD

[heraldofcrow]

Ok, I need to say something and get it off my chest while I actually have some energy.

I know what I want to change for the new year…even though normally I don’t really care for the idea of resolutions because to me there is no guarantee that the turn of a year implies change. I just think everyone should grow at their own pace and transform when they are ready. But my current catharsis just happens to be taking place now, so I’ll make it a resolution. A resolution about creativity.

My energy as a fandom creative has been incredibly low this year, which is weird for me. I have been in quite a few fandoms over the years, but the ones I actively decided to participate in were always fun outlets for me to improve things like my writing and actually make room for my energy. I used to write absurdly long analyses and metas in other fandoms for my own enjoyment and get into in-depth discussions with people about lore, story, themes, or whatever else would come up because that’s where I thrived. I was always the essay spammer lol. I miss the energy that was fueling me then. Something happened to it, and I wonder if it’s because I changed from “writing for myself” to “writing for the fandom” at some point.

Don’t get me wrong, I always loved supportive communities that help you grow and develop in some arena of art. I need that as a person because as isolate and introverted as I can be about my interests, I do have this side that craves the thrill of sharing passion and excitement with others. I love when I create something and other people like it too…I mean, who doesn’t?

That’s a huge part of fandom and of course I am here for that support system, but I don’t want to make my goal to be about supplying content for a fandom.

Just about a year and a half ago I started messing around with drawing for the first time in my life. I had attempted to doodle and scribble as a kid, but it was stick figure stuff. I never was serious. But the urge to depict specific pictures in my head was overpowering. I had to buckle down and watch some tutorials to get anywhere, but I did get…somewhere.

I don’t draw even slightly near the level I want to yet, but I’m glad I practice and learn new little tricks every so often. I just need to break down walls, especially the walls I have been hitting recently. These walls stop me from getting better. They kill my interest in writing. I have trouble responding to people and their conversations with me in fandom…when people express interest in my opinions, I shut down and hide. I don’t put the effort I used to into analysis or research. I am stuck and it is smothering my creativity.

My drawing and writing won’t improve until I stop being scared about challenging myself or being willing to branch out.

That’s my resolution. I need to stop doing stuff for a fandom. I need to smack myself upside the head and genuinely draw whatever the fuck I want and not to create content like a YouTuber. The reason I used to write metas or get into long lore convos with people so confidently is because I was passionate about it and not because I was trying to put something on a platform.

It’s not necessarily that I have been doing this YouTuber thing all year, but I know for certain that the stupid fandom idea of “having a role” or “being The Guy for a certain character” has craftily snuck itself into my head. I adore Bloodborne, I love my Bloody Crow, but I also fucking love Dark Souls, I love Demon’s Souls, I love Elden Ring, I love LOTR, I love Arcane, I love FF7, I love dozens of other films, books, shows, stories…

…I love so much and I want to draw stuff for all of it, I want to write for all of it, I want to express my thoughts on it. I am a subtle participant in plenty of fandoms if they aren’t too toxic, but I have restricted myself to Bloodborne because I felt “safe” about “creating content” here. I also felt a necessity at times.

But truthfully? I am going to suffocate if I force myself to restrict my creativity to one fandom forever. No, I don’t intend to leave it, because I do love it here and I want to still enjoy the community. I also still want this blog to be Soulsborne oriented while my sideblogs are for other fandoms, but that’s just for the sake of my own interest in organization, not because I have to. That’s because I fucking love Soulsborne and its fandom and I want to stay here to share and create. Not because I have to.

I have been hanging around the Soulsborne community for over ten years now…it’s just an infinite vat of creativity and inspiration. I want to contribute because it’s fun. I need to stop limiting myself to the ONE game though. It’s killing the ability to improve my drawing because I don’t truly always want to draw everything from this game. Sometimes I just want to draw knights from Dark Souls.

Sometimes I want to practice drawing armor and not Bloodborne style get-ups. I just want room and space to explore. There is plenty of variety in Bloodborne yes, but it has to be variety I am passionate about or I will half-ass it. I need that option.

It’s the same with writing. My writer’s block has been horrible this year because once I actually started sharing my fan-fiction for the first time, I felt that pressure of having readers and I wanted to make sure everything I put out was perfect. This kills my motivation. It’s utterly deadly. I actually am fine with my writing normally and am very comfortable with improving it through practice, but whenever I succumbed to the likely nonexistent external pressure, I suddenly couldn’t finish editing to save my life.

I need to be free of this and be able to enjoy my fandoms. I need them. 2023 was one of the hardest years of my life. I was so miserable so often, and it’s during those times when I really want a safe space to run and create. It helps me “regenerate.” But if I’m polluting my own safe space with pressure and worry, then what do I have left?

And so yeah, that’s my goal for this next year and the years to come. I want my old energy and passion back, to use this little online outlet to grow and learn more about drawing, writing, and whatever else catches my fancy. I won’t pressure myself about this either, but I hope it comes naturally if I take it slow and try to unlock my brain from the narrow way of thinking.

No more playing into a role. I just need to be free and enjoy myself.

#SO YEAH NOW I AM A PENGUIN AND NOT A CROW #lmaooo #i’m kidding #that would be hilarious #just taking a different role after abandoning one (help) #no but see crows are just ME #that’s different xD #It’s funny because 90% of me has never cared about fandom expectations or roles #but with the bb fandom there was so much drama once upon a time that i got caught in the trap of taking up a role as a form of armor #now that it’s kind of in the past…i really need to move on #fandoms are supposed to be fun…not warzones and i need to stop restricting my creative endeavors to them so much #because even though bb is peaceful now…if it ever happens again i can’t fall into this routine a second time #there is a lot here #but i’m glad i’m thinking about it #personal #new year #fandom stuff #CrowNotes

[enixamyram]

Rewatching Hazbin Hotel means noticing that Charlie and Vaggie are very affectionate. Like these women will use every and any excuse as a reason to hold onto each other and it is adorable!

And I will use every and any excuse to make more and share all of the screenshots I can of them.

#Hazbin Hotel #Chaggie #Charlie Morningstar #Vaggie #What's ya'lls favourite shot?! #Cause I can't pick XD #I love them all for all sorts of different reasons!

[4ndeka]

Its my bestie @cc-kote's bday today!! So i did a little codywan for him, as a treat (he also has a kick ass fanfic about them check it out)

#the fanfic takes place in the future on tatooine ben era #so its different from the above pic XD but its also very wholesome #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #star wars #clone wars #codywan #my art #READ MY FRIENDS FANFIC #U WONT REGRET HES A WORDSMITH

[rocktheholygrail]

Doctor Who (2005-) Hannibal (2013-2015)

#parallels that hit different when you remember david tennant was almost cast as hannibal lecter xD #hannibal #hannibaledit #doctor who #tvedit #ten #rose tyler #david tennant #billie piper #hannibal lecter #mads mikkelsen #will graham #hugh dancy #hannigram #nbc hannibal #hannibal nbc #murder husbands #hannibal gifs #hannibal 3x13 #dw gifs

[danicloth]

It’s cold 🩷🩵…

My delulu is slowly coming back =w=✨

#I've been watching a lot of shojo (more than usual xD) #And can't help but do something about it >w> #Also ​I still think the size difference in their hands is sooooo adorable 🥹 #mystery skulls animated #mystery skulls #msa #mystery skulls animated lewis #mystery skulls animated vivi #mystery skulls lewis #mystery skulls vivi #msa lewis #msa vivi #fanart #mystery skulls animated lewvi #mystery skulls lewvi #msa Lewvi #Lewvi #lewis pepper #vivi yukino #mystery skulls animated fanart #drawing #illustration #digital drawing #digital illustration #art #artists on tumblr #my art style #digital fanart #Lewvi fanart #doodle

[kapitein-oranghien-29]

Yyyeeeesssss YESSS! I spotted Mr Fat Tits, and I just, had to...

#shockwave is just built different #seggsy #i had to doodle him #i can't deny my roots XD #robots29

[linked-maze]

Skyward sword screenshot redraw but LinkedMaze! idea from @birdmomblogs !! absolutely amazing XD

#thats Skys outfit back then- thats why its different XD #linked maze #linkedmaze #tloz #zelda au #doodle #lm sky #lm ghirahim #screenshot redraw #skyward sword

[xerorao]

Memento Mari🎹

"Remember that you must die."

(Old art; 2022)

#omori #omori fanart #omori mari #omori mari fanart #art #posting some old art here occasionally #inspired by the song; Yourness and Aishite³ #two songs with VASTLY different vibes xd

[doctor-dt]

papyrus teaches frisk his special attacks!!!

#guns #cw guns #letpapyrussayfuck #dude i went thru like 3 different sketches for this #bc the thought of him being a gun guy would NOT leave me alone #btw thats probably too dark for a shooting range but imagine its in papyrus' house #my fbi agent seeing me google 'handguns for beginners' 'how to hold handgun' 'can minors go to a shooting range' #my art #frisk #papyrus #undertale #lpsf #also the rules of the creator's post said i could add #letfrisksayfuck #bc they're in it and engaging in the same activities as papyrus #XD

[jojo-rolo]

Some Bowuigi doodles I've been holding onto!!

+ a redraw of this emoji made by @eldritch-emojis !

#bowuigi #my art #doodledoos #bowser #luigi #stress toy luigi more like XD #been obsessed with the height difference between bowser and luigi since the movie... can you tell? #jojo-rolo

[zu-is-here]

Run

Aftermare Week by @bluepallilworld

Geno by loverofpiggies

Nightmare by jokublog

#zu art #comic #aftermare week 2023 #aftermare week #aftermare #geno!sans #nightmare!sans #passive!nightmare #undertale #undertale au #utmv #oh my god?? Nightmare... smiling?? even laughing?? (O_O) Call 911 it's too OOC— xd #but srly what made me so emotional is Nightmare just having fun like a child. let it be real for him at least here ♡ #also I just realized!! the height difference between them! (°▽°)☆ (like between Cross & Dream) #my world will never be the same... :'D #passionate hands my beloved ///

[insertsomthinawesome]

Today is a beautiful day, and you’re a horrible Leech Twin This was loads of fun actually :D It was fun to branch out into a style different from my usual! I hope you enjoy the boy! He’s havin a good time (and actually not being that much of a horrible Leech xD) [ - Requests are closed - ]

#isa doobles requests #Twisted wonderland #twst #Floyd Leech #twst floyd #Isa's fanart #InsertSomthinAwesome #May2023 #Another case of 'I've drawn this character before but never posted art of them I guess' #that happens a lot w twstie boys apparently ^^;; #I think this style looks similar to persona??? Specifical p5??? I could be wrong?? #that or TWEWY #This was delightfully fun to throw together #he went through a few different itterattions before this pose tho xD #he was fistfighting me for a bit there #but alls well that ends well :D #It was fun dressin him up in something different :) #Eyestrain #eye strain #just in case ^^;; its a little louder/different than normal #Anonymous

[esprei]

your art makes me so happy like istg you dont even know 😭🙏

also give my boy emmet a joltik and tell him i said hi :3

"Hello, anon! Thank you verrrry much for this Joltik. I will take great care of this little passenger!"

Emmet thanks you anon! that Joltik is going to a wonderful trainer! and I thank you too, so so much! 🥺💖💖💖 that means so much to me you don't even know! 😭💖

#submas #subway boss kudari #subway boss emmet #joltik #anonymous #asks #my art #i did something a lil different with this one :D #still trying to find my chibi style for them XD #also sorry this took so long i... wanted to draw something for this lol

[elvyn]

I think Astarion fits the spooky season well.

#actually any character can fit into a spooky season if you try hard enough #but vampires... especially pretty vampires hit differently xD #Also #Astarion has beautiful aesthetics. #Okay tbh he just has white hair and red eyes but I really like this design on the characters #astarion #bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #my art

[coolnonsenseworld]

Realized I never published this piece for Cursed Love story. Lance is performing a protection spell 🕊️

Last day for 15-20% off prints

Linktr.ee/mezzy

#klance #voltron legendary defender #voltron fanart #the precise backstory for this spell is on pages 76-77 in 2022 52 weeks of kick PDF #for those who got it #or want to get it (its on payhip) #another AU i dont explain? huh #it is actually explained in various places but if it had a tag i dont remember it #it gets way complicated with different social media xd #if i find the first post i will reblog it

[shadowxamyweek]

I couldn’t help myself.

#shadow the hedgehog #amy rose #vector the crocodile #the murder of sonic #meme #laksjdfl editing this to even look mildly presentable was so difficult XD #yes that is the chair from the library- I couldn't fix the one that was there so I just put in a different one #sonic #sega #sth