One day anakin is walking around coruscant when he looks down and sees a flier that says "ANAKIN SKYWALKER AND PADME AMIDALA: GALAXY'S BEST COUPLE" and he pauses. Then proceeds to beat up a person handing them out two blocks away
But the guy handing them out it like "STOP STOP I GOT PAID OFF TO HAND THEM OUT I DONT KNOW WHO IT WAS" but the damage is done because anakin walks to the jedi temple and is immediately amused by the paparazzi and it takes every bit of impulse control in his body to not ignite his lightsaber and slice these motherfuckers to the ground
Well, even worse a problem: once he gets into the temple, he is immediately bodied by mace, who is outraged "YOU MOTHERFUCKER ILL FUCK YOU UP IF THIS IS TRUE" and tbh anakin was just going to accept his fate before but now he is like YEAH NOPE and swears up and down he had no idea what the posters mean, that padme and him barely speak, etc etc.
Well, maybe anakin convinces the jedi council- it takes many bouts of crying and anxiety attacks for them to believe this despite the fact that anakin is breaking down bc of the fact that its true- but the people on coruscant arent convinced. Suddenly, everyone is shipping Galaxy's Number 1 Couple with a Burning Passion, and not even the jedi can make that go away.
And so it's a big conspiracy, it flairs up every other week with new anonymous information- all by the same person, as the handwriting is the same- and people dont really move on, they just keep to themselves. They dont have to mention in daily conversation that they have an anidala fanpage and that they currently have 1,456 followers.
Well, then anakin has two children. In secret, of course. But padme kind of reveals to the public about her children, and while she states that the father unfortunately passed, the flair is too big to contain. The damage is done. Every person on coruscant is doing in depth analysis on anakin's fucking eye or hair color in comparison to the kids. And thus the name "the skywalker twins" came to be
And what worse? Palpatine starts using anakin's kids as bait to get him to the dark side. And one day anakin pieces stuff together, realizes that he is actually struggling mentally and that a fall to the dark side isnt far fetched.
But what palpatine strongly underestimated was the amount of people on coruscant that anakin skywalker can swindle into doing his liking. He makes a whole public announcement confessing to everything- through fast and slurred words- but at the end he is like "oh and the chancellor is a sith he wants me to go dark side send help" and soon half of the population of coruscant, the entire 501st and 212th, and obi-wan and ahsoka are all storming the Senate with no warning and anakin shoves palpatine in a supply closet while waiting for the jedi council to show up and take this punk to the prison or just kill him.
And that my friends, is how in an alternate universe anakin skywalker built up a simp army to take down the biggest sith threat in the galaxy and remained a jedi due to social outrage if he was exiled from the order due to hot mf syndrome
Oh, and do you wonder who released the posters in the first place?
It was obi-wan.
Clones and the Force is like one of my favorite topics and I usually talk about it very seriously like what it means to have a soul etc,
Jedi don’t really know how to explain the Force to non Jedi. They speak in these riddles and go on and on about the life of the universe and the message just gets muddled. And the Force is already something so complex. It’s life and death and the soul and the universe. It’s a life Force.
So what do Clones think the Force is? They’re not dumb, far from it, I think most clones can think more critically than some Jedi.
But their Jedi have an impact on WHAT they think the Force is. Because that’s their only exposure.
Do the 501st think it’s some supernatural power that makes you great at showing off?? But seriously, Anakin only uses the Force in battle. With recklessness and unchained power. The only time they see the Force at work is when Anakin and Ashoka level the battlefield. Maybe they see it as an internal thing you can summon in battle.
But the 212th serve under Obi-Wan. Who has a deeper relationship with the Living Force. It makes him a great strategist and powerful leader. Maybe they perceive the Force as a much more “meditative power” one that grants wisdom and strength.
I think the Wolfpack probably have the best concept of the Force, I think Plo Koon would be the best at explaining it. He’s a powerful Jedi, a member of the high council and most importantly, he actually talks to his troopers. They know the Force is something that connects all living things.
But I without being able to FEEL the Force. I doubt people would be able to understand it to its fullest potential.
So I just want different clone battalions meeting up and Fives is about to do something reckless and he-
Fives: Don’t worry guys, we’ll just use the Force.
A Different Kind of Clone War (2)
This, along with all of the others in A Different Kind of Clone War is a tickle fic, but pure fluff.
(1) (2) (3)
That didn't stop him from trying with everything in his power to keep at least one person between himself and Wolffe, but he knew it would all go to hell shortly and Cody might be slightly panicking.
And what was worse? Rex was starting to notice. The 212th commander could practically hear Wolffe laughing at that fact.
Rex gave him another sideways look of concern when Cody shot a dirty look at Wolffe and shifted away. So Cody finally just hightailed it out of there.
And, much to his annoyance, they both followed.
"Cody, what's wrong?" Rex asked him as soon as they were alone. Except for Wolffe, who slipped in quietly behind them, the bastard.
Cody glared daggers at the commander of the 104th and Rex looked between them, confused.
"Cody just can't handle what he dished out." Wolffe growled.
"Hey, that's not fair!" Cody complained like a battle-hardened soldier. "You started it!"
"Not with you, i didn't. You just decided to betray me completely out of the blue."
"Wolffe! We can.. we can talk about this!" Cody said as the leader of the Wolfpack advanced on him.
Wolffe flashed him a grin that sent chills down his spine before he lunged.
Cody tried to get out of dodge, he really did, but Wolffe was fast. He hooked his feet out from under him and sent him careening sideways and Rex only just managed to dodge Cody's forearm enroute with his nose. Before Cody could roll back up, Wolffe swung himself on top of him, pinning him to the ground.
"You know I don't bode well with betrayal, Kote."
Cody glared up at him, wondering what his odds were. They didn't look good.
"You still started it by attacking Comet! Poor trooper was in tears!"
"He was annoying me!"
Cody knew he wasn't helping his situation in any way by teasing Wolffe. "Well maybe I thought you needed to be knocked down a few pegs. Get beaten at your own game." But Cody also knew he was going to get wrecked either way. May well take advantage of what he could, right?
His answer came when Wolffe purred, "We'll call this a rematch, then, shall we?" And dug his fingers into his sides and lower back.
Cody yelped and thrashed so violently, he almost dislodged Wolffe. Wolffe steadied himself and grinned in triumph as he skittered his fingers up his spine.
This made Cody squeak and arch his back forward, bubbly giggles spilling from his lips.
"What if I- whahat if I said I was Sohorry?" Cody pleaded halfheartedly, trying to flip himself to atleast sheild his sensitive back.
Wolffe chuckled and reached up to ruffle his hair. "Sorry, Cody."
Cody suddenly barked out a laugh in surprise as Wolffe planted his knee on his shoulder blade and clawed into the small of his back with his other hand.
Oh, that was evil.
Cody helplessly shook his head as he kicked and laughed, desperately trying to escape the torture. Wolffe didn't let up in the slightest, prodding and skittering his fingers along Cody's spine. It was driving him mad.
"Rehehex!!" Cody tried. "HELP!"
Rex held up his hands innocently, leaning against the wall. "Oh, no. I'm not going to be pulled into this."
"Wise choice, Captain." Wolffe smiled at him. Rex was completely confused by the entire ordeal, but also genuenly amused. He had never seen Wolffe or Cody let loose like this and it was kind of endearing.
"Yeah?" Wolffe started pushing up Cody's shirt to expose the bare skin of his back.
"Nonononono!" Cody squirmed and flailed, even as Wolffe grabbed his arm to hold him steady.
"No, what? Can't take it?"
"No, I cahan't take it!" Cody complained, trying wrench his arm free.
Wolffe laughed and settled his palm against his back and Cody flinched. He fully expected his hand to turn into a claw and start pinching at the completely exposed skin but what he got instead was so much worse.
Wolffe's palm took on a little bit of his weight as he leaned down and blew a raspberry into the small of his back. Cody may have screamed. He'd never ever admit it, even if Wolffe and Rex had both witnessed it.
After Wolffe regained his balance again, laughing at the reaction he got, he blew another one. Cody cackled and thrashed as they kept coming, kicking his legs or shaking his head helplessly.
Wolffe sat back happily and watched his brother convulse and cackle hysterically while listening to Rex snicker behind them.
Cody laughed himself out and Wolffe decided he'd had enough, getting off of his brother and sitting on the floor next to him. Cody didn't even roll over as Wolffe had expected him to, but stayed flat on his stomach, exhausted. This made Wolffe chuckle and he reached over to rub a hand over Cody's still bare back. Cody tensed up but began to relax as he realized it didn't tickle as Wolffe continued.
"So. mean." Cody complained. Wolffe chuckled again.
Rex shook his head fondly and left the two commanders on the floor together.
I hate this one. I really do. I wrote a draft right after Wolfpack Mayhem and I loved it but I did a stupid and tried adding to my queue but deleted it instead. I was SO pissed off. I had to rewrite it at least 3 times before I just decided i needed to get this over with. I'm sorry it took so long and it's not even that great.