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diyunho · 4 years

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The Joker x Reader -”What Death Tastes Like” Part 4

Scarecrow’s daughter might be only 22, yet the terminal lung cancer she was diagnosed with six months ago didn’t discriminate against her age; the young woman didn’t show worrisome symptoms until it was too late. Y/N always had a fascination for the much older King of Gotham and despite the consequences, maybe it’s finally time to do something about it.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 5

Your Birthday

“Look at him, parading like a rooster!” Emma elbows you, huffing.

The Joker is on the terrace, nosing inside the coolers to find his favorite grape juice brand since he knows it should be in there somewhere. He’s sporting very dark purple pants and a much lighter shade purple shirt, fitted on his body to perfection plus two gold chains around his neck which makes one wonder why he didn’t add more giving his sense of fashion.

You pile up some fruits on your plate, gazing The Clown’s way with a smirk:

“Those trousers make his butt stand out.”

“That’s probably the reason for wearing them,” Emma sighs and you both burst up laughing, amused at the truth she admitted aloud.

“I feel this lustful desire of spanking him,” you blur out. “I bet your dad only unbuttoned half of his shirt because he obviously wants me to unbutton the other half: that sexy rooster can frizzle my feathers anytime he wishes,” you tease and she covers your mouth in a hurry.

“Y/N, can you not?!”

“Sssttt, you’ll wake up the baby,” the muffled sentence distracts Emma and she lets go, apologizing to the five weeks old:

“Oh, sorry angel,” she lingers over the baby basket placed on the empty table next to the self-serve buffet: Frost’s son is napping under the umbrella while his parents mingle for a little bit with the guests that already arrived at your birthday party. How did Jonny end up here? The crazy motive: his employer is to blame for the mess he created one hour ago, already fixed due to your sense of urgency.

The Joker showed up in time at 3pm for his “date” like you instructed; you opened the door and he immediately handed you a car sit containing the tiny human.

“Happy Birthday, Y/N!”

“Ummm…thank you,” the hesitant Y/N invited him inside.

“I got you a present,” he widely grinned, confident nobody else came up with a better gift idea.

“… Whose baby is this?!...” you followed him, carefully walking with the adorable bundle in the living room; the sleeping treasure fussed for a few seconds and went back to dreaming, unaware he was away from his parents.

“Frost’s,” J answered and you turned towards the entrance, baffled.

“I’ll go open the door for him then.”

“That’s not necessary; he didn’t come with me.”

“What do you mean?!”

“He’s off today. I just went to his house to drop up some ammo, then sneaked in the nursery and took the baby.”

“And his parents were ok with that?!” you crinkled your nose, more and more suspicious regarding his behavior.

“They don’t know,” The King of Gotham calmly informed.

“You kidnapped Frost’s son?!”

“I didn’t kidnap him,” J rolled his eyes, offended at your accusation. “I took him.”

“Without his parents’ consent. So you kidnapped him!” you gasped at the insane revelation.

“I’m in charge,” The Joker logic surfaced instantly. “I don’t require consent! Why are you staring at me like this?”

“I keep on hoping you’re bluffing,” you cringed at his argument. “Give me your phone!” you ordered and the item was shortly in your possession, although you had to witness a lot of grievance from his part as you searched for Frost’s digits.

Praise heavens you did since his wife was absolutely hysterical when you called: their offspring was missing from the cradle and Jonny might not be the type of person that panics, yet he had a total nervous breakdown.

They were fast to come and pick up Evan, so yeah… that’s how The Frosts ended up at your birthday bash… Full credit goes to their amazing boss!

*************

After one hour

“Do me a favor,” your father continues his conversation with J. “I want you to check with your contacts and try to find more Cromyxillium for me; I’m in desperate need.”

“Don’t you have enough for Y/N?” The Joker growls at the view of Bane’s son entertaining himself with you and Emma.

“For now. Tomorrow I’m starting her on full therapy; I found a new formula to bind the molecules together, this way her system won’t reject the medicine like it did last week. It will make her sick but I’ll be here to supervise the entire process.”

“Aren’t you afraid it will kill her?” J’s sensitive personality comes to full bloom in the best of moments.

Jonathan Crane is silent, then articulates painful facts he can’t avoid sharing:

“I am… I don’t have any other options on such a short amount of time…My daughter is fading… her lungs are finished…” and he gulps, straining to regain composure. “If this experimental drug can restore damaged tissue, it can aid with her cancer… She agreed to the test because I’m a super smart dad,” he grumbles. “That’s what she said…that I’m a super smart… I might be… I don’t even know if my remedy will work or if it will speed up her demise.”

“Fine, I’ll inquire on the product,” The Joker agrees. “What’s in for me?”

Your father takes a deep breath, exasperated.

“What do you want?”

“Excuse me,” The King of Gotham interrupts. “I think my pride’s at stake: somebody’s attempting to steal my date!” he inflates his chest and finds it imperative to notify the puzzled parent. “Y/N’s my date, didn’t she tell you? I was strictly forbidden to bring Mara so I had to maintain my reputation somehow.”

“What reputation??!!! She mentioned it and I thought the whole idea meant only you being obnoxious!” Jonathan huffs.

“I am obnoxious!” The Joker sourly admits and crushes the large group forming due to Sam’s entertaining abilities.

“Hey Y/N, where’s the grape juice?” he finds a random pretext to get your attention as you gesture towards the end of the terrace.

“There’s a bunch on ice,” you giggle at Sam’s story and J lies:

“I couldn’t find any.”

“Maybe someone moved it,” you detach from the gathering and stroll with him in the area you saw what he’s asking for.

“Who gave you that pendant?” The Clown Prince of Crime investigates since you definitely didn’t have the jewelry earlier.

“Sam,” you touch the delicate diamond heart attached to the platinum chain. “It’s so pretty, I love it.”

“He scored major points with the birthday girl, huh?” J mocks.

“Well, apparently some people are aware of my preferences and some give me presents I can’t keep,” you hint and The Joker comprehends what you aim at.

“My gift was brilliant! You said that if we would have gotten married we would have had a bunch of kids, thus it means you adore them. That’s why I brought Evan.”

“Yeah, and his parents already took him home, leading to the reasonable conclusion we can assess from the fiasco: you actually don’t have a present for me. Oh, would you look at this: grape juice!” you sarcastically show him the huge pile of containers exactly where it’s supposed to be.

“How did I miss this?” J pretends to be shocked and sneers when he notices Bane’s son coming near you two. “Dance with me!” he unexpectedly sweeps you in his arms. “It’s a slow song, just move your feet,” he encourages. “What do you want for your birthday then?” Emma’s dad distracts the astonished Y/N furthermore.

“Hmmm… I can settle for a kiss?” you unconsciously caress the short hair on the back of his head while he quickly pecks your cheek. “Um… if I wanted a jellyfish sting I could have went to the aquarium,” you sassily react and The Joker rolls his eyes. “I want a proper kiss, unless you have those reserved for Mara.”

“Why are we talking about my girlfriend?”

“On and off girlfriend,” you emphasize. “A huge indicator you don’t care that much about her. You need a woman that genuinely loves you; she’s a catalyst fueling your tendencies, you don’t need that! You don’t fight fire with fire, OK?” you almost shout and ironically enough he decides to engage in your speech.

“What do you fight it with then?”

“Dynamite!” you proudly state. “Blow up everything, wipe the slot clean and start fresh!”

“A-ah…A-ha…”, he mischievously agrees. “I assume you’re the dynamite in this scenario?” the silver grimace spreads across his face.

“Perhaps.”

“Why is Bane’s son here?” The Joker changes the subject. “He keeps lurking around and it annoys me.”

“Don’t be jealous,” you mislead him on purpose. “Sam was my boyfriend in high school,” you brief your so called partner. “I’m fond of him.”

“Why would I be jealous?!” The King’s mood switches and you realize yours is also: the sole detail he’s interested in is to emphasize zero attraction for his daughter’s friend.

“Yeah…why would you be jealous?...” you sadly smile and let go before the song ends. “Listen, I have to return to my guests, alright? You don’t have to stay; you should go back to your fire because you certainly don’t know what to do with dynamite,” the meaningful reply leaves him intrigued again: no cocky response to your clever twist in words since he already lost the passive-aggressive altercation.

************

9:49pm

You gaze at the starry sky, cozy on the inflatable mattress; the mesh on top of the tent is so thin you can hardly tell it’s there. Very quiet in the garden… you should have went to the river with the others, yet you felt the urge to be alone and rest before you reprise your treatment tomorrow.

“Y/N, are you in here?” The Joker’s voice is heard.

“No!” you grouchily snarl.

He unzips the tent and squeezes inside, obeying to your protest:

“Close it! I don’t want bugs in here!”

“I’m hiding from Crane, he made me do a bunch of stuff in preparation for your Cromyxillium therapy!” J complains to indifferent ears.

“I thought you bailed hours ago,” you coldly articulate.

“I was held prisoner in the underground lab! You should be thankful for my services.”

“You don’t do anything for free and I’m sure you’re over exaggerating anyway!”

“Whatever!” The Joker drops on the mattress next to you, deeply exhaling. “I’m beat; I’ll rest for a bit before I drive.”

You rest your fingers on your tummy, struggling to remain calm.

“I missed hanging out with my cuddling buddy,” J nozzles in your shoulder and you give him an insolent glare.

“We’re not cuddling buddies!”

“That’s too bad; I precisely came to deliver your birthday present. I resent the notion of a man unjustly accused of being cheap.”

“What birthday present?” you furrow your eyebrows.

“The kiss you demanded Y/N!”

“I’m good,” you disregard his offer and he hovers over you, captivated.

“I thought you have the hots for me, I even wore these hoochie pants to please you. I mean, I endured your affection and harassment for the past three years. I’m here now with an invisible olive branch so I think you should reconsider your answer.”

“Did you just say hoochie pants?!” you snicker at his distorted apology although you’re mad at him. “You didn’t wear them for me; you wanted to show off your assets!”

“It’s not my fault I’m handsome!” The Joker defends his wardrobe choice.

“I seriously want to be alone,” you indirectly imply he should disappear. “I’m tired of playing games. I won’t flirt with you anymore, I promise. Deal?” you lift your pinky up and there’s something strange concealed behind your abrupt vow.

“Why not?”

“First of all, I won’t have the energy: my father warned of serious consequences during the treatment. Second, it might kill me: we don’t know how my physique will endure; I have terminal cancer, remember?”

“Are you scared?” J whispers and you nod a yes, upset. “Then you should accept your gift in case you won’t have another occasion,” his rationale pushes you to reconsider your alternatives.

You pull him closer and wait, explaining your hesitation.

“It’s my birthday, you should be the one kissing me.”

The Joker doesn’t defy your logic and complies, unable to suppress an arrogant grin when you moan:

“God, your lips are so soft; I could kiss them all day.”

“Don’t get into it, I have to vacate the premises soon. I don’t want Crane to catch me in your tent and presume the worst.”

“My dad will be in the lab until morning time; you can stay if you want to,” you trace his jaw line, momentarily forgetting your grudge.

“Didn’t you preach about wishing to be alone?”

“Why are you making out with another woman besides your girlfriend?” you evaluate the waters with a question.

It doesn’t seem he’ll bother to justify his behavior thus you utter:

“I can be alone…with you. I’m 23, literally a consenting adult,” the important information is added for the heck of it.

“Consenting to what?” The Joker mumbles as you softly bite his lower lip.

“I hate you,” you pout and snuggle to him while he grabs a pillow, irritated at his involuntary reaction. J stuffs it in between the bodies and you swiftly toss it away.

“Are you trying to get me in trouble Y/N?”

“You’re always in trouble,” you begin unbuttoning his shirt. “Let’s go with the flow, shall we? No strings attached, no commitments. You know why?” you pause and continue. “I might not survive the Cromyxillium and I want to make love to the old guy I have a major crush on.”

“Old?!” The Clown prince of Crime scoffs.

“You’re basically twice my age,” you roughly estimate without proof and kiss him again. The Joker slides his hands under your t-shirt, opting to dismiss your affirmation with a different kind of truth.

“Do you recall when you asked me if I ever tasted death?”

“Yes…”, you bury your face in his neck, wondering if he’ll say something mean that will ruin the night.

“You don’t taste like death,” J forces you to look at him. “You really don’t.”

“… … … … … … … You think so?” the emotional Y/N sniffles, categorically surprised at the confession.

“Yeah. You actually taste like dynamite,” he winks and doesn’t mind the sudden meltdown: The Joker is not big at comforting people, but the girl in his arms feels relieved nevertheless.

She might not compare to the fire he’s used to, yet Y/N’s eagerness to blow up everything, wipe the slot clean and start fresh is unfamiliar territory that’s worth exploring.

Also read: MASTERLIST

#the joker x reader #the joker fanfiction #the joker imagine #the joker jared leto #the joker suicide squad #the joker #joker #joker fanfiction #joker imagines #joker leto #joker suicide squad #Mistah J #mister j #dcu #dc

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chevalierene · 5 years

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The PRxPRince Experience

It’s been nearly five months so it’s high time I finally wrote up my review ^^; In April of this year I had the pleasure to see Machida Nanoka’s directorial debut show, PRxPRince. This show was also the first solo lead for Snow Troupe’s Towaki Sea (Hitoko). As this was the first bow hall show I have seen the theatre is much smaller than the Grand Theatres with no balcony and holds a little over 500 people.

The intimacy of the show is doubled with the cast of 30 people who all get to shine during the show. There are enough additional scenes for everyone in the cast to play important roles and it also showcases a lot of the younger actresses as well.

All bias aside, PRxPRince is a fantastic show and is possibly my favorite Takarazuka show that I have seen yet. With the combined powers of Machida sensei’s writing and Hitoko’s sensual charm onstage they somehow created a show that is both very fun and extremely lethal. Before the show premiered just from the interviews it was evident that Machida sensei knew exactly what she was doing. She had been a fan of Takarazuka for a number of years and it shows in the final result.

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

The show opens with the three ministers of Pecchieno, the Genovia-like country in which the story takes place, who are trying to figure out a way to get the country out of financial difficulties. Caspar (Kanou Yuuri) and Elias (Ichika Ao) have very different views on how to go about this dilemma with Caspar being very old-fashioned and Elias being a Millennial and very social media savvy. Damian (Yume Maoto) is kind of the moderator between them and the one who ends up suggesting the ultimate way to solve the country’s issues (which will be revealed later on).

The next scene is a PR campaign video that introduces Victor (Hitoko), the oldest prince of Pecchieno as well as his two younger brothers, Valentin (Aya Ouka) and Valtteri (Ayami Sera). The opening song “Welcome to Pecchieno” is one of the catchiest songs in the show and gets reprised later on, inevitably becoming an earworm for anyone who hears it. What should be noted about the opening is that Victor’s glasses are removed before the start of the PR campaign video so Hitoko’s blue contact lenses and smooth blonde hair are on full display. And it is truly devastating! (Sidenote: I had no idea that the intro song actually introduces the rest of the cast who come onstage briefly until my last time seeing the show because I had my opera glasses focused on Hitoko for the other 6).

The next time we see Victor he is dressed in a parka, tennis shoes, a lab coat, and has large round glasses and messy hair. Victor is the leader of a group of scientists whose goal it is to find a solution to the polluting problems from the neighboring country (though this plotline might have changed since the director’s talk cause there was probably something I missed but I tried my best to follow along with the laboratory scenes). Elle (Jun Hana) is one of the scientists who really likes Victor and Victor really likes her. They are very adorable and awkward together. They are also both incredibly intelligent. Elle is seen as very smart but also fierce and is not one you want to mess with (she does Karate poses).

During another PR campaign tactic the princes are literally being mobbed by fangirls (listed as Fangirl 1-6 in the program) in order to promote tourism. At one point during a struggle Victor’s glasses fall off and he falls to the ground. He then emits a very unsumire moan. Suddenly, the lights change to a vivid bright green and music starts. Victor lifts up his head but his entire demeanor has changed. It is revealed during this song that this is in fact Christopher and he is searching for his goddess. The awkward prince Victor is replaced by Christopher, a very handsome, cocky, and aggressive version who makes every girl around him fall to the ground in delight. This reveal was so secret during the press for PRxPRince before I saw the show that I knew that Hitoko would be both extremely kawaii and extremely ikemen but I didn’t realize that Victor would change into a completely different person!

Through a flashback scene told by Alice (Sahana Mako), the family’s nurse, it is revealed that because Victor was just TOO BEAUTIFUL and maids had to flee the room because they just couldn’t handle it, a hypnotist is brought in to put a spell on Victor that allows his ikemen side to stay hidden when he has the glasses on. However, the side effect is that when the glasses get removed his ikemen side is so extra and over the top that he is literally a completely different person. In the show there are two songs that feature Victor and his Shadow which is the other side of him. The Shadow (Houka Haruna) is distant for the first song and represents Christopher behind him in the background. The second song is started by Christopher and the Shadow comes out wearing glasses. In the middle of the song the Shadow puts the glasses on Christopher. When he turns around he is once again Victor. The glasses are then removed completely and they have a duet dance together. The transitions from one to the other are incredible and it shows off Hitoko’s acting skills in the best possible way. It isn’t just the glasses that make the change. As Victor, Hitoko speaks and sings in a higher register that is closer to her natural speaking voice, she stutters more, her posture is often bent forward, has more outbursts and exclamations and is also portrayed as very sensitive. As Christopher, Hitoko is in full dangerous otokoyaku-killing mode; her speaking and singing voice is deeper, her posture is straight, she is more confident, aggressive, and controlling. Christopher also speaks in a very old-fashioned way and gives off an air as otherworldly in many ways. Another neat thing is that Victor addresses himself as “Boku” and addresses Elle as “Elle-san”. Christopher uses “Ore” when referring to himself and just says “Elle”.

Elle faces a crisis at one point when Christopher tries to make a move and she slaps him. She immediately panics when she thinks that she has hurt Victor though and tries to figure out what happened to her sweet awkward boyfriend. Her and Victor sing a duet towards the audience in separate rooms. The song is later reprised after Victor admits that he likes Elle and they sing it to each other in a very tender moment. Jun Hana has a very Disney princess vibe to her which is exemplified whenever she’s around Hitoko who has an equally Disney prince vibe. They are characters who could literally be in a shoujo manga. While Jun Hana does not have the strongest singing voice per se, she makes it work here.

Victor’s brothers, Valentin and Valterri are also rather amusing to watch. I was very surprised at how much I enjoyed watching Aya’s performance as Valentin. She was VERY extra. Valentin is a true narcissist and has long flowing locks. He also tends to play with the ends of his hair and is the MOST dramatic person I have ever seen. He pines after a girl he once knew called Diana and throughout the show tries to pursue a girl of the same name played by Seina Nozomi who he’s convinced is the same one he once loved. Valterri is the youngest brother and is obsessed with working out. He’s very impulsive and doesn’t really think things through which gets him in trouble later on (Victor and Valentin silently scold him at one point which is funny since both of them are using big gestures on the side of the stage while other characters are talking). He is also head over heels in love with Marie (Irodori Michiru), the sister of the rival country’s ruler, Queen Lily (Ai Sumire). Ayami Sera did a really good job at playing the bratty younger brother who just wants to have fun. This was probably her biggest role to date so far too so she got to show off her singing as well.

Speaking of Ai Sumire I need to talk about her because she was one of the most phenomenal parts of this show! She is portrayed as a campy villain with a very extra evil laugh. But DANG the girl has the most powerful voice and even gets the only vocal song in the finale! Catch me singing “IKEMEN! I-KE-MEN!” constantly. Lily is almost always surrounded by her posse made up of Rose (Shouno Chio) who is more or less her secretary who always carries an iPad with her to let Queen Lily know about the latest thing that their neighboring country is up to and Garrett (Kiraha Reo) who is Lily’s erm...really hot boytoy/bodyguard? What was quite surprising for me the first time I saw it was that Garrett does not speak AT ALL in the show. He whispers behind his hands to Lily but other than that he is completely silent and yet, the way that Kiraha (Kari) presents herself onstage even without saying a word is mesmerizing to watch. She just emits the most brooding otokoyaku energy that is mostly reserved for kuroenbis in revues. Garrett smokes, casually checks his watch, and performs a tango with Lily and I cannot stop LOOKING AT HIM ONSTAGE! Even when other characters are talking onstage if Garrett is there (save for when Victor is present) my eyes would float over to him just to watch him stare into the ether and make the slowest and most deliberate of gestures.

Of course, no true royal comedy would happen without the king and queen themselves. King Anselm (Souno Haruto) and Queen Beatrice (Maisaki Rin) are the parents of the V3 (the campaign name for the three hot princes). King Anselm is very attached to everything he owns especially his expensive collection of various artifacts. Queen Beatrice is just trying to have a nice time and wants everyone to be happy again. They are also IMMENSELY in love and get very lovey-dovey in front of their boys who are all grossed out by their displays of affection. Given that the two actresses are also classmates they play off of each other really well and have a very nice relationship that is enhanced through that. They play an important role to the story and Maisaki Rin (Hime) even gets a moment of adlibbing.

One of the great things about PRxPRince was actually the amount of adlibs that were included with each performance. There are several moments in the script where adlibs occur for each performance, similar in the way of the adlibs in shows like Lupin III and Bakumatsu Taiyouden occur. Even though you can tell these adlibs are planned out somewhat in advance it’s nice to see the actresses work with things that are also on the spot sometimes since not everything is completely planned out. Some were funnier than others but that’s all part of the fun of the show and just finding a good balance with the audience. Personally I loved the adlibs even though I couldn’t understand some of them sometimes. Other things that were adlibbed were little gestures here and there that the characters would do that were different with each performance. One of my favorites was watching Kari scold Michiru at one point and one performance Kari leaned over Michiru so much that Michiru’s tiara had bounced back onto her head as she came up. The adlibs definitely made each performance I saw unique and lots of fun especially when the show was in the middle of Japan’s naming for the new era and suddenly 平成 (Heisei) and 令和 (Reiwa) adlibs were added to the mix.

As the ministers figure out the next part in the V3 PR campaign Damian suggests that they host a ball in order to find eligible matches for the princes. A lot of stuff goes down in Act 2 during the ball including Marie showing off her pet bug to literally everyone within range, Elle finding said bug and actually communicating with it, Garrett and Rose playing musical instruments, Valentin doing a slow baywatch walk, and Victor expressing his true feelings towards Elle. At the very end of the show Victor and Elle actually go into the audience to do high-touches with those lucky to be on the aisle seats (alas, I was not one of them). One of the best moments was from the final performance when Top Stars Nozomi Fuuto and Maya Kiho were in the audience and I was able to see Hitoko shake both of their hands in a very sincere gesture since she was so happy both of them could make it to the show.

I talked a bit about the music before but OH MY GOD this show’s music is incredible! It’s very catchy and pleasing to the ear. A lot of the songs are slightly reminiscent of older Takarazuka shows but are also not too old-fashioned sounding. A lot of brass and strings are used in the songs which is very enjoyable. The finale takes it one step further though and incorporates electric guitar.

Yes, I am going to spend an entire paragraph just on the finale because it deserves to be talked about. After the happy ending of the show intense rock music is played as the curtain rises to three figures: Ai Sumire, Kari, and Shouno Chio. A rock version of “Lily’s Song” is played and it is THE BEST THING EVER! After my first viewing I always looked forward to the finale because it starts off super strong and doesn’t disappoint. Ai Sumire is the only one who gets to sing in the finale which is appropriate considering her voice is amazing and is one of the best singers in Yukigumi imo (Daikiho aside, of course). After the villainous trio have their number Hitoko sneakily walks onstage to stand on a platform. She is dressed in a dark blue coat with gold trim and a silk wine red shirt on beneath it. Her blonde wig stays on for the entire time. An instrumental rendition of “Two souls” is played as she descends the stairs, dancing fluidly and gracefully like a swan and takes front and center. The “fuu!” that emits from her lips is enough to make the audience shatter into 1000 pieces. They have fallen under their prince’s spell with the lure of Hitoko’s sanpakugan (this was so effective I was unable to watch this part of the finale with the opera glasses because it was THAT powerful). The rest of the otokoyaku join her shortly afterwards in a dance which evolves into an instrumental “Diana” as Hitoko takes off to change into her next costume while Ayana leads. After the otokoyaku dance they scatter and the musumeyaku all appear in lovely pink dresses. Hitoko has changed into a Prince Charming white military uniform and dances in the center, surrounded by beautiful women, which honestly, the dream. A shift in the music starts and one by one the ladies leave the stage until there is one remaining. But even SHE isn’t the goddess that our prince seeks. Jun Hana makes her way onto a small platform in a gold ball gown similar in style to Belle’s from Beauty and the Beast. When Hitoko turns around and sees her it’s like a wave of happiness rolls through them both and they have a classic waltz set to an instrumental version of “Someday My Prince Will Come” from Snow-White and the Seven Dwarfs. It is canonically one of the purest moments in the entire show even though the entire time I watched it I prayed that Hitoko would not trip over Jun Hana’s massive ballgown. The only mishap I saw was on the first day when while twirling Jun Hana to the side she slipped ever so slightly but managed to catch herself gracefully. After their intimate dance they exit together and the curtain call rolls.

This show brought together so many hearts and it was so refreshing to see Yukigumi do a comedy bow hall since it has not been done since the early 2000s. I love this show more than I have loved any Takarazuka show and I feel blessed that I was able to see it live as many times as I did and to be able to share this wonderful experience with others.

#PRxPRince #Yukigumi #Takarazuka #Towaki Sea #Jun Hana #review #Omg this took forever to write up #Congrats if you made it to the end of my rambling #This show means the world to me so thank you for reading

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theonceoverthinker · 6 years

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SpongeBob SquarePants - The Musical: A Small Memorial

Last night, as often happens, a Broadway show closed. While I wasn’t able to see it’s final performance (Though I was filled in for the details thanks to the incredible @crazy-noonoohead), I did get to see it once, and it absolutely charmed the entire way through. I’m honestly going to miss it.

That show was SpongeBob SquarePants: The Musical.

I know. The jokes have all been said and done. It’s a Nickelodeon show that got a stage adaptation and it doesn’t offer even the pretense of pretending its not for kids. It’s essentially most of what makes up animated movie trailers today. But beyond the jokes, SpongeBob is one of the most aesthetically pleasing, unique, and fun shows out there and I want to give it the respect and honor it deserves here, because believe it or not, it has quite a few elements worthy of said respect and honor.

Now for reference before we begin, I have seen SpongeBob on Broadway live one time, I’ve listened to the cast recording well over twenty times at this point, and I have engaged in my fair share of bootlegs via YouTube.

SET DESIGN

To start, let’s talk about SpongeBob’s greatest accomplishment: Its set design. The set design is effectively delivered on in three ways, and let’s just say that the Tony it got for Set Design could not have been more deserved.

First, on either side of the stage of the show were two intricate mechanisms. If you’ve ever played the board game Mouse Trap, then just think about that in orange and you’ve got an idea of what they were like. One of the mechanisms went off during each act, and what it did was provide more than just a regular set piece: It provided a mystery and an adventure. Not only was it so much fun seeing the mechanisms go off, but the anticipation for them had me so excited. They were unique and gave off this feeling of both peril and comedy.

Second, the set design of the climax of the show (Spoiler alert if you wanted to either read about this somewhere else or hit up a bootleg). Ethan Slater (SpongeBob’s actor) is such a badass. In the climax of the show, he is put in a harness and while singing a powerful song (A character-defining reprise, at that!), needs to basically climb up, through, and around this big and intricate orange spider web. It’s some of the coolest staging I’ve ever seen and while I never saw Spiderman, I also never heard of a single instance of danger with this action so I feel comfortable saying that this is Spiderman done right!

Finally, I want to talk about something pretty simple: The houses. I’m going to lump these things together because the how of what they do here is pretty similar, but incredibly impressive. The houses and establishments like The Krusty Krab here are the only thing done via CGI and the pragmatic effects help to enhance it by never allowing the audience to feel confused about where they are or overcrowded by the larger than life characters.

If you want to continue and read my thoughts on the costume design, music, story, and cultural impact (However personal), please join me below the cut.

COSTUME DESIGN

There are a LOT of characters to talk about in this adaptation and I think they were all designed fabulously. However, for the purposes of keeping this a little brief, let’s talk about the most impressive one to me: Plankton.

Assuming you’ve watched SpongeBob on TV, you know that Plankton is a really small character, and that presents a problem when adapting the TV show to Broadway. How do you adapt Plankton? His size (Or lack thereof) is such an important quality to his character and to not acknowledge that would dilute who he is. While one could simply make him a puppet, none of the other characters are puppets and to make him one would take away all of his menace, something that he would need, even as a primarily comedy-focused antagonist. Additionally, it would severely limit the capabilities of Plankton to perform in musical numbers, especially in his rap number. But the creators did something really smart. In the opening number of the show, while all of the main characters were scaled against their oceanic counterparts, Plankton had a physical puppet counterpart shown in addition to his human actor, a puppet that was abandoned shortly after his introductory scene. That did the job of showing Plankton’s size in a way that the audience would burn into their memory while also allowing the actor to use his entire range of motion. It’s honestly such a smart move.

MUSIC

SpongeBob on Broadway is a collaborative musical. Most every song is original to the show AND was made a different artist. This list includes The Plain White Tees, Panic! at the Disco, David Bowie, John Legend, They Might Be Giants, and Sara Bareilles (But boy is it longer than just that). And here’s what impresses me so much: It��s so cohesive. That’s not to say there aren’t different genres. There are a couple of ballads, a rap, a few ensemble pieces, a rock and roll number, a sea shanty, and a tap number (With multiple legs thanks to Gavin Lee’s incredible talent!!!!). But it retains a flow to it that carries through the entire show. At no point does the SpongeBob musical feel disjointed and given all of that talent working on it, I can’t help but be surprised, even now. Like, how does that work? The music here has no right being this solid and cohesive! Well, I can only assume that the above talents really talked to one another to make sure that no work felt out of place, and honestly, I can’t help but adore that respect for how seriously this was taken from all of them to make sure that there was consistency throughout each and every one of the pieces in regards to the world of SpongeBob and in terms of a full musical.

My favorite piece is “Bikini Bottom Day.” In addition to being visually great, it has this nice buildup as the pieces of Bikini Bottom come together. It starts off with this very faithful-to-the-source-material ukulele and builds to encompass the orchestra, building up the beauty of Bikini Bottom and all of its people as it relates to SpongeBob itself. Everyone’s characterizations are perfectly on display here and the first beats of the characters’ arcs come into play. The motif which is revisited in the Act 1 finale and the finale of the show itself is just nice and optimistic, inviting everyone to think more like SpongeBob, and damnit, when I hear it, I feel like SpongeBob!

STORY

I think the story here is so important, and more important than most might give it credit for. While not overly serious, it does deliver a story that’s deviously more than it seems and in a way that is palatable by its target demographic: children.

SpongeBob on Broadway is about the SpongeBob characters facing the possibility of the end of the world in the face of an erupting volcano, and their various reactions to that. SpongeBob works on combatting the eruption, many of the townspeople try to run, those less committed to running focus on blaming someone for the issue (Sandy, as Plankton puts the value of being the sole land animal in an underwater town), a subset of fish seek wisdom from Patrick, Pearl and Squidward focus on completing their Bucket Lists, and Mr. Krabs and Plankton focus their efforts on profiting off of the panicking masses (Granted for Plankton, it’s in a much more evil way that involves mass manipulation and attempted murder). And throughout this story, there are various ticking countdowns, the aforementioned mechanisms throwing big balls of magma onto the stage, and even the intermission says that it will be the “last intermission...ever.” And that’s all before talking about the two numbers about the possibility of facing the end: “No Control” and “Best Day Ever,” the former of which is one of the most panicked and hopeless numbers I’ve ever heard.

Now, that’s a pretty really-real baseline story with some harsh elements, and honestly, it could’ve gotten pretty dark. But what I like is that it never really did. While not afraid to handle these storylines and aspects and tackle them fully, the show never lost sight of the fact that it’s a SpongeBob musical and being that requires a consistency of a comedic tone as well as an understanding that it’s a musical for children. There are at least five jokes per scene and the show itself ends with a parade of bubbles, a zany band performance, and strings of party paper that falls from the sky! It’s fucking bonkers! And that tonal balance is what makes it so good -- not all time classic-great, but certainly more than enough to merit its own existence.

And that brings us to...

CULTURE

Whenever I see someone picking on SpongeBob on Broadway, even from its inception, I’ve always hated it. I get that SpongeBob on Broadways was somewhat of an absurd notion, but then again, so was The Lion King or Avenue Q, an adult-themed show about puppets, and both of those offered something unique visually as well as through elements like staging, storytelling, and costumes. And in terms of animated adaptations, we’ve had again all but two of the Disney Broadway adaptations. So why did SpongeBob get mocked?

And I’m sure some edgelord reading this is groaning about that the fact that SpongeBob on Broadway is a musical for kids and that I’m unapologetically defending its right to be exactly that, but honestly, fuck that noise. Being for kids does not mean that a musical cannot be great or even tough upon hard subject matter. I mean, look at how some of the more recent Disney animated movies have taken upon harsher subject matter if you need proof of that. What it means is that there needs to be an understanding in the delivery of a message so that one can understand it from an early age without needing to sacrifice storytelling to deliver it. It’s not dumbing down theatre, it’s opening up the door for new people to come in. And there’s no reason why that’s a bad thing. Broadway, like every other medium, thrives off of variety. Just like how there are deep movies like “Citizen Kane,” comedies like “Crazy Rich Asians,” silly films like “Despicable Me,” and superhero movies like “The Avengers” (And blendings of the different genres like “The Dark Knight”), so can there be such a tonal diversity among the shows on Broadway. Hamilton and Phantom are great musicals, but they aren’t and shouldn’t be the only types out there and I like that there’s more out there for kids.

Broadway in its current state, while making changes to foster grander availability, is still a very overpriced and hard to access medium. It’s based on location and even for someone like me who lives in New York, it’s an endeavor that costs at least $50-$60 (That’s assuming I (1) win a digital lottery or have a friend do rush (thanks again @crazy-noonoohead), (2) don’t take a subway or cab, and (3) don’t eat on the trip, and very rarely do those things all happen simultaneously). To be willing to do that, you need to have some serious love or interest in the show, and because of that high bar that people already have to meet in order to just get in the door, it’s not especially approachable to new people. And that’s where shows like SpongeBob come in. Little kids and families go to see the show and come out with so much more. Shows like SpongeBob open doors for lifelong interests in the mastery of theatre and I hope that in the future, when a non-Disney show like this is announced, we remain more optimistic about its potential rather than turning it into a punchline.

While I can’t say it’s for certain intentional, I can’t help but related the song “Not a Simple Sponge” to the public’s outcry towards the show. The chorus invites Mr. Krabs, Squidward, and (by extension) the audience to give SpongeBob a chance to “give me [him] adventure, be a contender, and more” after earlier calling him “just a simple sponge.” I can’t help but see the similarities between SpongeBob’s doubters and the public itself for dismissing the idea of SpongeBob going on a grand staged adventure, as if to say “No, you can’t tell us this story.” But by the end, through the careful delivery of themes (”Everything gets better if you keep on trying”), SpongeBob proves that indeed his is more than a simple sponge and worthy of his claim to The Great White Way.

LET’S WRAP THIS UP

SpongeBob was something that crept up on me. I figured I’d like it well enough, but that it would be something that would follow me, take up about half of my Spotify history, and be something that moved me to make a fairly long post about it? Well, that caught me as a surprise! Hell, I still have a piece of the tissue paper that fell on me during the end of the show and it’s still something I’m going to try to hold on for my remaining days. I probably would’ve attempted for the finale performance alongside my friend had it not been for a car accident that currently leaves me unable to walk. Even still, I’m grateful for the chance to experience this show.

What I’m saying is, SpongeBob on Broadway is “not a simple sponge” and I sincerely wish that it had run longer (With all due respect, I was bored with the Mean Girls bootleg I found in roughly twenty minutes and I was hoping my big yellow friend would stick it out at least until after that closed). For something that was odds are less than half a risk to Viacom, it tried so much harder than anyone expected to and created a memorable show. While I don’t expect a revival anytime soon, it’s going to join some of my mid-tier favorites that Broadway has to offer, along the lines of Legally Blonde and Young Frankenstein. And maybe one day, it will get the respect and love that it truly deserves.

If you’ve never checked out SpongeBob, and by some miracle you’re able to track down a working bootleg or even if you just rock out to the cast recording and a Wikipedia article on the plot, I suggest downing an hour or two and letting the wonders of a “Bikini Bottom Day” consume you.

#broadway #spongebob #theatre #ethan slater #gavin lee #spongebob musical

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unexpectedreylo · 6 years

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Spoilerific Thoughts On “Solo”

Rosé All Day In The GFFA!

As of writing, I’ve seen the movie twice and I really enjoyed it both times. Forget those tales of a troubled production; Ron Howard made a solidly entertaining, fun film with lots of goodies and surprises for fans of most stripes.

“Solo” is basically a heist movie and a Marvel-esque origin story at the same time. When we meet Everyone’s Favorite Smuggler, he’s a runaway living in Corellia’s dark and filthy underworld hoping for the big score to get him and his girlfriend Qi’ra away from their Fagin-like “master.” We march through Han’s escape from Corellia, how he ended up with his last name, his abrupt and necessary decision to go to the Imperial Academy, his time as an Imperial officer, his first meeting with Chewbacca, and his re-entry into the galaxy’s underworld with his mentor, Tobias Beckett. We witness his first meeting with Lando Calrissian and finding the love of his life, at least the one that isn’t a breathing person, the Millennium Falcon. The famous sabacc game? It’s there. So’s the legendary Kessel Run. All of the while, Han’s penchant for trouble and not listening to anyone but himself puts him in danger over and over. It’s all great character development and enjoyable to watch. But there’s more! In “Solo,” we see the gray and topsy-turvy world of the galaxy’s criminal class. Sometimes it appears glamorous and beautiful, sometimes it looks just like what it is: dirty and awful. The good turns out to be bad and the bad turns out to be good. All of the while, Beckett reminds Han never to trust anyone.

So, you might ask, what did you think of Alden Ehrenreich? Alden was in the same crappy position that Chris Pine was in while playing Captain Kirk in the more recent Star Trek films; it’s very difficult to step into a very famous role played by a very famous actor. Ewan McGregor had a similar problem but because he played Obi-Wan decades younger, it gave him a lot more wiggle room to define the character himself while making it credible he and Alec Guinness were playing the same guy. Ehrenreich and Pine were playing their respective roles less than 20 years younger than their more legendary incarnations. That’s tough. I’m certain some people are blowing off this film simply because they can’t accept someone else playing Han Solo. The other side of that coin is it’s precarious in HOW you play the character. Take on too much of Ford’s affectations, it looks like an impersonation, one that could descend into parody fast. Completely ignore them and people won’t connect that it’s Han Solo at all. Now, Ehrenreich doesn’t really look much like Ford. He’s shorter, his nose is smaller, the whole shape of his face is different. There’s only a bit of resemblance around the eyes and the makeup people thoughtfully added Ford’s chin scar. It’s a little jarring when you realize that eventual son Kylo Ren (Adam Driver) really does look related to Ford while Ehrenreich looks like neither one of them. My mom the movie critic, who saw the movie with me and my brother the first time, thought Ehrenreich is actually better-looking than Ford. But (and there’s always a but) attitude can make up for a lack of resemblance. More on that in a second. For what it’s worth, Ehrenreich does have the right attitude. It’s like seeing a more boyish Han, one who gets by on b.s. and bluster, who’s a tiny bit full of himself, and who hasn’t experienced a decade’s worth of betrayals yet to come and other things that made him far more world-weary in ANH. This Han is charming and self-assured, a cinnamon roll whose circumstances define him but won’t defeat him and turn him into well, Qi’ra. From this movie, it’s easy to see why he was drawn to Rey in TFA. He saw a lot of himself in her.

Everyone does a pretty bang up job in the film performance-wise. I have to say Donald Glover absolutely kills it as Lando. Glover doesn’t really look like Billy Dee Williams but he’s got the Lando-ness down perfectly: the smoothness, the vague sleaziness, the flair for fashion, and all around cool. He even nailed Williams’s way of speaking without making it an impersonation. Glover has so much charisma in the part, I really wouldn’t mind seeing him again in his own adventure. Woody Harrelson was an excellent fit as Beckett. Harrelson brings his own charisma and worldliness as the father figure who initiates Han into the life that as prophesized, he never got out of. Casting him was a great idea. Also worthy of mention is Phoebe Waller-Bridge as L3-37, or simply “L3.” Funny and sassy, you’ll be touched by her short time onscreen. And the mysterious Enfys Nest (Erin Kellyman) who turns out to be not quite what we thought.

The surprise in this turned out to be Emilia Clarke as Qi’ra. Of all the new characters, she’s easily the most fascinating. She’s beautiful, smart, resourceful, and tough but also a bit of a femme fatale. She has a heart but she’s also hungry and hell bent on not ending up a Corellian street rat again. She is what Han could have been with a few degrees of difference in his personality or more time spent a virtual slave on Corellia, what Rey could have been had she decided to trade on her looks and feminine wiles for material security from crime bosses. The interesting thing about her is she clearly cares about Han. I don’t know if she loves him per se but she does care about him enough to know she has to protect him from her. She’s sort of like that old Amy Winehouse song, “You Know I’m No Good.” Paul Bettany’s character and Beckett both warn Han that he doesn’t know her as well as he thinks he does and that she’s done some pretty bad things. We know for sure she allied herself with a crime syndicate that has committed atrocities and well, we find out toward the end how far her darkness extends. She accepts Han’s affections but to a point. Why? She knows they can’t get attached. At the end, when she splits in the mobile Crimson Dawn HQ, it seems to parallel the last Force bond seen in TLJ. In TLJ, Rey has to do it for her own sake as well as Kylo’s. In this movie, Qi’ra does it for Han’s own good. The more he’s kept away from this stuff the better, not so much IMO she fears that lifestyle would destroy him as she realizes at some point her knife has to go between Han’s shoulder blades if he keeps hanging around.

Poor Han. Not only can the guy never escape trouble, he’s constantly faced with betrayal throughout his life, which it is easy to see why he leans so much on Chewie. Say what you will about Chewbacca, but he’s the one of the very few beings who never lets Han down. Sadder yet are the implications of Han’s upbringing and his relationships with authority/father figures. In one conversation with Lando, Han mentions his blue collar dad that he wasn’t close to. Who knows what THAT relationship was like? Han tells his Imperial recruitment officer that he “has no people,” so the officer christens him Solo. (For all we know, Han’s real last name is Wallbanger or Horowitz or Seymour-Butts.) Why Han was on the streets is still a mystery. Did Han simply run away from home? Was it disagreement and butting heads or was there severe dysfunction, i.e. addiction, abuse, neglect? Did Han do something to the old man? We don’t know and it’s not like Han to tell. Han takes to Beckett as a surrogate father figure who of course betrays him. Another fascinating and tragic parallel takes place near the end of the movie. Most people pay attention more to the “Han shot first” aspect of it rather than how this scene predicts Han’s eventual fate in TFA. Han kills his father figure just as his own son will eventually kill him. Han of course was acting in self-defense but it’s tragic all the same. Han’s family situation also predicts the struggles he has in his relationship with Ben Solo. In this context it makes sense that a man who had no idea what a dad is like would struggle to be one himself, especially since he’s almost or at middle age when it finally happens.

Another thing to love about “Solo” is its careful attention to the mythos. The film has the style and feel of Brian Daley’s novels from back in the day, while much of Han’s backstory, known to Star Wars lore fans for decades, is in here. Moreover, elements from the expanded universe, video games, The Clone Wars, and the prequels are brought in to great effect. Teras Kasi? Glee Anselm? The Maw? Carrida? Aurra Sing’s fate? Colo claw fish roe as an appetizer? It’s all in here!

I will say this: DARTH MAUL’S SHOCK CAMEO GIVES ME LIFE!!!

I blurted out, “What the hell?!” when he turned up at the end of the film. (I also had to explain to my brother, who had never seen The Clone Wars or Rebels, why Maul was still alive.) A surprise to be sure, but a welcome one. That Qi’ra is working for him has a whole host of implications for her and possibilities for Maul to return in other Star Wars canon. And yes, that’s Ray Park reprising his role and Sam Witwer voicing him.

“Solo”’s score is pretty good, a mix of original and unique music and John Williams’s classic scores. Listen for some fun callbacks like “Asteroid Chase” from TESB.

Like “Rogue One,” “Solo” is a smaller movie than the bigger, sweeping main saga flicks. It doesn’t have TLJ’s artistic ambitions or haunting quality. But there’s room for a movie that’s pure fun with a few more layers than expected.

#solo han solo ben solo star wars solo: a star wars story

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disneymoviethoughts · 7 years

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Thoughts I had while watching Tangled

1. Warning: this is my absolute favorite Disney movie so there's a good chance this will be loaded with a lot of squeals, a lot of GIFs, and a lot of facts. Don't @ me. 2. This is Disney's 50th animated feature which makes it even more special. 3. It's also the first all CGI film. 4. I can recite Flynn's entire intro. 5. Who am I kidding, I can recite the entire movie. 6. If I found a magic flower I'd probably hoard it too. 7. Pascal is on baby Rapunzel's mobile and there's nothing like Disney does better than hidden Mickeys and foreshadowing. 8. I know Mother Gothel is the absolute worst- she's a kidnapper, she's abusive, she's selfish- but she DID attempt to only take a piece of her hair first. 9. I see a lot of people always saying how Mother Gothel should've just told Rapunzel her birthday was on a different day but I honestly believe that she didn't think Rapunzel was smart enough to put two and two together. 10. Pascal. Is. The. Best.

11. Highly recommend watching his origin story episode on Tangled the Series if you haven't. Your soul will be crushed. 12. The fact that Rapunzel gets up at seven am and accomplishes all this stuff in like two hours is more than I can even do in a week. 13. Fun fact: Rapunzel's hair is seventy feet long. 14. Zachary Levi is absolute perfection in this role and if Flynn is not your favorite prince, you better get with the program. Unless your favorite prince is Aladdin then I understand. 15. Even in the original story I was always impressed that she could lift the witch. I can't even lift my laptop. 16. She charts the stars, you guys. She's just so amazing. 17. Fun fact: not only does Mother Gothel refer to her as a flower, she often is always talking about her hair when she's being endearing. 18. Can we talk about how this shot of Rapunzel’s hair floating out of the tower is just freaking gorgeous. It’s one of my favorites.

19. They just can't get his nose right. 20. Maximus is the best horse and never buys into Flynn's hijinks. He just wants the satchel back for the kingdom. 21. I can safely say that if I came across that tower, I would not make it five feet off the ground, let alone all the way up the tower. 22. Can we just talk about how incredibly brave Rapunzel is. She's never seen another human besides Mother Gothel and yet she has no problem going on the defensive right away. 23. Let it be known that any time I say "surprise" now, I only say it the way Mother Gothel says it. 24. Fun fact: they had a "hot guy" conference at Disney so that women could talk about what made a male good looking to ensure that Flynn was hot.

25. They succeeded. 26. More princes need to be as sarcastic and wonderful as Flynn. 27. I also love Mandy Moore. 28. Fun fact: if you watch This Is Us, the best new show on TV with Mandy Moore, it was written by the same man who wrote Tangled. 29. I wish I had a Pascal to tell me when to pick fights.

30. I will keep saying Rapunzel is the best, because she is. She's brave, resourceful, loyal, and doesn't buy into anything Flynn says even though he's charming and good looking. How many princesses can we honestly say that about? 31. Also her following her dream is mad inspiring and it's been the basis of my life since it came out. 32. Here comes the smolder.

33. What is it about the reprise of a song that makes it so much better? 34. It would be fun to slide down all that hair. 35. Mother Gothel didn't even make it that far and she's been walking for at least a few hours. 36. I love that Rapunzel thought to put pillows under her covers. Classic. 37. I still want to eat at the Snuggly Duckling regardless of the Pub Thugs. 38. Flynn's one liners are just so on point. I love this movie. 39. I also love that Rapunzel got a group of rough men to to sing a song even though she was scared of them two seconds ago. 40. And Flynn's face during this entire song.

41. How did they find the guards so quickly? This seems like a bigger city than that. 42. I wish I could take away from this to be nice to everyone but I'm way too cynical. 43. I love Flynn getting to know Rapunzel because even though it still takes only three days for them to fall in love it just seems more real and natural than other Disney movies. 44. She doesn't care that he's a thief and he sees that she's a good person who's also had a hard life and it just makes me all warm inside. 45. This is so action packed and then trying to get out of the cave gives me so much anxiety. Especially when they just resign themselves to dying. 46. Flynn's reaction to Rapunzel's hair gives me life. 47. She just so easily starts calling him Eugene and it's so freaking cute. 48. Mother Gothel is such a master manipulator it's insane.

49. Okay but having magic hair that heals would be so useful to me since I am clumsy AF and get bruises all the time. 50. You can just see Flynn falling in love with her and it's beautiful and magical and if the way he looks at her doesn’t make your heart warm and fuzzy, you’re dead inside. 51. But real talk, how can Rapunzel find a man in a tower and I can't even find one on the street. 52. Rapunzel standing up to Mother Gothel is such a growth for her. 53. Where does she stash the satchel when they go into the kingdom though? 54. Pascal woke up red and alert and he's my favorite sidekick ever. 55. Rapunzel is so pure and innocent that she can calm down a restaurant full of thugs and a rogue horse and I'm so here for it. 56. I can't even properly French braid my hair but those girls braided her hair so fashionably.

57. I just want to point out that Flynn has been actually buying things for Rapunzel all day instead of stealing them and I can't get enough. 58. And him getting the boat was SO ROMANTIC I get chills. 59. Rapunzel talking about how she might be let down by the lanterns and what will happen after is so relatable. 60. Everything about her trying to live her dreams and doing anything she can to get there is just so inspiring. 61. The heartbreak in King Frederick's eyes kills me. 62. "I See the Light" is the best song in any Disney movie and I tear up every time.

63. This whole entire sequence is so visually appealing that I just cannot, so prepare for all the GIFs right now. 64. Fun fact: the lantern that Rapunzel pushes back up is the king and queen's. You can tell cause it has Corona's logo on it (the sun).

65. Fun fact: there's over 45,000 lanterns used in this sequence.

66. Fun fact: while Mother Gothel only cares about Rapunzel's hair, Flynn always looks right at her and pushes her hair back.

67. DON'T GET OFF THE BOAT FLYNN. 68. This manipulation is just so deep I mean Mother Gothel had to think about this as soon as she saw the Stabbington Brothers which was an entire day ago. This woman is insane. 69. Rapunzel lime green light is bad do not go to her. 70. As soon as Flynn woke up his only concern was Rapunzel and even though Maximus doesn't like him he believed his cries. 71. At least Mother Gothel acknowledged that Rapunzel was a pure bright ray of sunshine. 72. The fact that Rapunzel had been painting suns in her paintings without realizing it is such a brilliant plot line that I can't even be mad that she shouldn't have remembered it since she was only like a day old. 73. Flynn also only knows a minimal amount about Mother Gothel and still realized that she was in trouble. PROPS. 74. "You were wrong about the world. And you were wrong about me. And I will never let you use my hair again" favorite line in the whole movie. It just shows how far she's come and how brave she is and how quickly she figured everything out and didn't even care what Mother Gothel's explanation was.

75. If someone ever tries to murder me you best believe I'm grabbing a frying pan. 76. I love that they included the "Rapunzel let down your hair" line from the original. 77. He just free climbed that like a boss. 78. It is at this moment where I start to cry every time.

79. Mother Gothel kicked Pascal and that was so awful I want to punch her. 80. Rapunzel not caring about what's going to happen if she goes with Mother Gothel and her only concern being about Flynn is just heartbreaking. 81. And then Flynn sacrificing himself to save Rapunzel the two of them are seriously just so perfect for each other.

82. Mother Gothel turning into dust is so savage. 83. I don't care how many times I've seen this I never sob as hard as I do when Flynn is dying and they tell each other they are each other's new dream. 84. Fun fact: in the original story Rapunzel cries into the prince's eyes and it heals his blindness just like Rapunzel's tears bring Flynn back to life. 85. I literally yell YOU GO GIRL every time Rapunzel kisses Flynn first. Including at their wedding.

86. Fun fact: the king and queen don't have any speaking lines at all the entire movie. The queen has a line in Tangled Ever After and they speak in the show but not in the film.

87. It cracks me up that they replaced swords with frying pans. 88. Pascal turns red every time they kiss and it's so cute. 89. They're such a realistic couple, more than any other Disney couple I think. If none of you have watched the hour long special that takes place after this but before they get married, you should. Rapunzel turns down Flynn's marriage proposal which makes sense because at the end of this Flynn said he asked for years and years. You thought he was joking. 90. This is the best Disney princess film ever and I'm so happy I watched it. 91. I hope this was entertaining and not annoying. Sorry for all the GIFs, and that they were mostly of Flynn. 92. Now go watch the show.

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rhetorical-ink · 7 years

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Rhetorical Ink Reviews: Beauty and the Beast (2017 Live Action)

**Careful for SPOILERS below**

I will be the first to admit that I’m a HUGE Beauty and the Beast fan. I had the book as a kid, wanted to be Belle, and have had a large fascination with the story and believe it spurned me into wanting to draw more.

So, the Live Action adaptation had HUGE shoes to fill for me before even going in. I tried to look at the film as a standalone and not judge it based on the predecessor...a VERY hard task when watching, I might add.

My best friend saw it with me and she loved it! What did I think? Well, putting ten thoughts alone would not do my favorite childhood movie justice. So instead, I am doing a Top Ten Likes and Top Ten Dislikes. Careful for spoilers!

My Top Ten Likes of Beauty and the Beast (2017):

10. The set and costumes: Everything has layers and detail and colors that pop but also makes sense for the time period. I LOVED the costumes and even the yellow gown, considering the wardrobe “makes it” in this, grew on me quickly. As for the sets? They are beautifully ornate and have a classic “other worldly” look to them. I could watch the movie over and over to gawk at the scenery and character designs.

9. The Opening Scene: Nothing will ever live up to the deep voice of the narrator and the stained glass...but there was something so fresh about how we started on the Prince, how the dance unfolded, and how the Enchantress appeared. She looked gorgeous and the classic French scene was a welcome addition (more so than others...but we’ll talk of that soon). In any case, it is a worthy contrast from the beginning, when he’s surrounded by beautiful girls, to late when there’s only Belle.

8. Kevin Kline as Maurice: Kevin Kline is a fine actor, and he brings such a charm and dignity to the formerly bumbling character. I still like Maurice in the animated movie, but it makes more sense for Belle’s father to be an artist and hopeless romantic than a “world famous inventor.” Kline’s performance was a highlight for me and definitely added to the movie as a whole.

7. “Kill the Beast!” I’ll talk more about some other songs below, but this was by far my favorite number; this is EXACTLY what I was hoping for with this song in live action form. It does not disappoint. Speaking of “Kill the Beast...”

6. We see Gaston and Lefou learning where the castle is: A big question I had as a kid was, “How did they know where to go to find the Beast?” In this, we get our answer. Lefou and Gaston actually follow Maurice to the woods, where he believes he can route them to the Beast’s castle. This backfires on him, but in any case we learn how Gaston and Lefou knew where to go in the first place.

5. Belle is more an inventor....and a teacher: It makes sense for Belle to be as learned as she is to be more of the inventor. I loved the little scene where she does her own laundry with the contraption she made and is trying to teach a little girl to read. After having to sit through a preview for a CGI movie where the boy character is an inventor and the girl, lo and behold, wants to just be a dancer...it’s nice to see “ahead of their time” people represented in a modern movie’s version of a classic time period.

4. Lefou paying off the people to dance and help during “Gaston:”

It was a little tidbit to note for the film, but Lefou pays off the people to help dance in the “Gaston” music number; and Belle does pay for the food in the market she gets. It’s little touches like that which help to cement this story in a more “realistic” world.

3. The ensemble of side characters:

This entire cast was well-chosen. Josh Gad as Lefou? Perfection; he was born for the role! Emma Thompson as Mrs. Potts? She’s about as close to Angela Lansbury as you can get for this role, I feel. Ewan McGregor as Lumiere? I was on the fence about this casting, but it works so well. Luke Evans as Gaston? He fits the part great. Sir Ian McKellan as Cogsworth? Again, I had no clue what to think, but he may have been my favorite in the whole side cast. Even Stanley Tucci and the Wardrobe’s actress were great choices. They really did a perfect job casting the side characters...but as for the main characters...

2. Dan Stevens as The Beast/The Prince:

This WAS perfect casting! I know they’ve altered the voice and distorted it to sound similar to the animated Beast. But seriously, the motion capture work on his face and his range of emotion are perfect here. It’s hard to believe, but I care more for his character as the Beast than the animated (for reasons below); plus, the main thing: He looks SO much better as the human Prince. From the opening to the end scene, he may be my favorite character, actor, and part of the film. Definitely a genius casting choice and excellent performance!

1. All of the added scenes of Belle and The Beast learning about one another:

If I had one, minuscule complaint with the original Beauty and the Beast, it is that we don’t get many scenes of Belle and the Beast “falling in love” and getting to know one another. He saves her, gives her a library, and then they just sort of fall in love post-dance...obviously, it’s not a huge issue, since you’re pacing this out in movie format.

However, I feel this movie allowed more time for these two to connect. Also, they found common ground; first, with their love of literature, but second, with losing their mothers and how their father’s shaped who they were: The Prince’s with hate, and Belle’s with love. It was a beautiful duality and connection created between them and it helped to make the ending better and more satisfying.

Of course, especially considering the movie is based on a staple of my childhood, it CERTAINLY has flaws, as noted below.

My Top 10 Dislikes of Beauty and the Beast (2017):

10. The obvious Enchantress:

I do like the twist of The Enchantress being Agathe, a character we see throughout the story...perhaps she’s keeping the magic strong? However, there are a lot of problematic elements of her being in the movie so much. For one thing, she saves Maurice, which is good, but then when Maurice confronts Gaston, she doesn’t do anything. She could have stopped all of our conflict! Also, at the end, while she shows up and it does make sense in a technical sense...she just vanishes. Belle doesn’t even see her...what was the point? In the animated movie, the spell was broken without her having to be there. Having her there didn’t answer questions; it created more! It just seemed awkward at times.

9. Gaston’s “post-war” blood rage?

While I appreciate them trying to flesh out Gaston’s character...this was their choice? He’s got post-war bursts of rage? I love how the animated movie treated Gaston just as the jerk-bro who becomes jealous and can’t stand that Belle chooses someone over him. Here, his villainous outbursts are “justified” by his post-war blood lust. It just seemed almost like a distraction and didn’t seem warranted for me. Gaston is a near-perfect villain. Let Luke Evans do a good job of playing him without trying to make him too complex. Gaston’s not smart enough for that.

8. The unnecessary additional songs:

Maybe I’m in a minority here, but I wasn’t crazy about the new songs. The Soundtrack of Beauty and the Beast is nearly flawless. Even the special edition with “Human Again” is okay. The Broadway songs they add...are okay. “Evermore” is not a terrible song (we’ll talk more about it below), but the song about “Sunny skies” and “Evermore” are not necessary to make the story better. If you wanted to include them in a “Director’s Cut,” that would have sufficed for me...I just didn’t see the need for them here...again, I’ll touch back on this point twice below.

7. Don’t bring an arrow to a gun fight:

In the original, Gaston was a hunter, so it made sense he had multiple weapons at his disposal. It also made sense for the time period. And he hunted a lot of deer-like animals, so it seemed fitting that he would shoot an arrow at the Beast and then stab him with a knife....hunting tools for the type of game he hunted.

In this? We just full blown (literally) gun the Beast down. Gaston shoots the Beast three times in the climax. At the very least, he still uses a club like the original. It just seemed like overkill and to me, didn’t make as much sense as keeping like the original would have.

6. The rushed beginning and scenes out of place:

The opening, I loved; however, once that scene was over, the first thirty minutes seemed SO rushed! They rushed through “Belle,” then moved some scenes around, and quickly went through the reprise! There wasn’t the “wedding proposal” scene with Gaston and Belle! I did LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the reaction of Maurice and Chip, but there were little scenes that were skimmed over and rearranged that just seemed to rush the opening and didn’t let us the audience “settle down” into the film. It’s not until we’re at the scene of Belle running away from the castle that the movie starts to slow down. The editing of the movie in those places was a little disappointing to me.

5. Lefou and the lack of controversy:

Okay, so the last week has been filled with news stories about how Lefou is the first openly gay character in a Disney film. It was a huge source of controversy...but....in all seriousness......you wouldn’t really know that watching this film. It’s clear he cares for Gaston, but the animated picture portrayed that as well. He shares two seconds with a male character at the very end of the movie in a brief dance...but that’s it. All that press and controversy for a tiny scene that seems inconsequential. Eh. Come on, Disney. Commit or not; don’t try to play up something that’s halfway even developed.

4. The Enchantress’s book:

I loved the extra scenes with Belle and Beast developing their relationship over the course of a few scenes. However, one comes out of nowhere and does nothing to the plot as a whole. At one point, the Beast shows her a book the Enchantress gave him as a “joke.” It is able to take them anywhere you think of; and Belle chooses the room she was born in, where her mother dies of the plague. While I DO love a few things about this: the fact that it connects Belle and the Beast more, and it explains what happened to her...it’s never used again. The book is just a one-time only plot device. The scene it was used in was SO out of place! I would have rather Belle had known why her mother died and just talked it out with the Beast than having used this forced book that logically doesn’t fit in with the story.

3. The Beast’s Song, “Evermore:”

I don’t dislike “Evermore,” I don’t...but...in the animated movie, when Belle leaves Beast, he is so heartbroken. He lets out a howl of despair, knowing his only chance of happiness has left him, potentially forever. Here, he immediately bursts into a Phantom of the Opera style musical number. Maybe upon reviewing, I’ll appreciate it. But I loved how the original was so organic and raw...this seemed almost too Broadway and too theatrical.

2. Emma Watson’s facial expressions vs. animated Belle:

I love the original because of the animation, mainly. The expressions and line work showed SO much emotion. Now, I like Emma Watson a lot as an actress. BUT, aside from the wolf scene on....her facial expressions are so subdued. This is most apparent in “Be Our Guest.” Belle in that musical number is in AWE! She is so excited, bewildered, and amazed...but here? She just smiles and watches the show. Granted, Emma Watson would have been watching a Green Screen throughout this; but STILL. She doesn’t even seem in shock or awe...and that I sorely missed in this film. Now, after the wolves attack Belle, Watson’s acting becomes more pronounced. I just wish she could have acted a little more in-character through some of the CGI numbers.

1. The cut out comedy:

When I asked my brother if he was thinking of seeing the movie, he asked about the fight scene at the end:

Brother: “Do they have the part where Lumiere burns Lefou’s butt? Or Cogsworth with the scissors?”

Me: “No.”

Brother: “What?! How could they?”

There is so much physical comedy in the original that works; here, and yes, I understand that it is “physically” impossible some of the things they do, I still was hoping there would be more of the original comedy. For example, Cogsworth taking Belle on a tour of the castle isn’t even in the FILM! “If it’s not baroque, don’t fix it.” SERIOUSLY.

THE VERDICT?

The original is near-perfect for me. Still today, it is the better film. If you love the original and are expecting a closely faithful adaptation; they try, but it’s a miss there, because some of the best parts are either condensed or left out.

If you love Beauty and the Beast, but you’re comfortable with them altering parts and want to see new additions to the story? You’ll probably like this!

The original is still better though. If you don’t want to spend the $10 at the theatre, just wait until the DVD or Blu-Ray comes out and watch the original in the meantime.

If you’ve never seen the original Beauty and the Beast? PLEASE watch that one first; it’s better. If you’ve already seen the live action one? STILL go view the animated version; you’ll appreciate it more.

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gravity-falls-musical-official · 7 years

Text

Complete Lyrics

Oh boy. All the lyrics to every song that has been written. Here we go.

Tag list: @somer-joure @kerbabbles @atomicspaghetti (AtomicSpaghetti, your young Ford and Stan contribution was recycled and incorporated into the Tale of Two Stans song)

SURVIVE THE SUMMER

D: Ah, summer break. A time for leisure, relaxation, and takin’ her easy with family. Unless you’re me. My name is Dipper Pines-

M: Oh my GOSH! Look at all the grass! I didn’t know Gravity Falls had this much grass- OH MY GOSH A GOAT!

D: That was my twin sister, Mabel, and we’re about to have the worst summer ever.

D: A few days ago, Our parents shipped us up here, Now we’re stuck in some lumberjack town Called Gravity Falls.

M: Look at all of the trees, And all the boys-

D: Mabel.

M: What?

D: Right now I can’t think! How will we survive the summer?

GS: Hey! What’re you two doing? I don’t pay you to stand around all day.

M: You don’t pay us at all.

GS: Touche.

D: That’s our Grunkle Stan. He makes us work in his cheesy tourist attraction called “The Mystery Shack.”

GS: No refunds!

D: Now some would say that this is horrific, but it’s not so bad.

W: Hey dudes. How’s it going?

D: Wendy, Wendy Corduroy, Red haired, Friendly Corduroy, I love Wendy Corduroy, It’s true! But it’d be best if she never knew.

D: She has a boyfriend, after all. Robbie: as edgy and terrible as his music.

M: But on the bright side, I got a pig! Waddles! I named him that because he waddles.

GS: Hey, you. Go put up these signs in the spooky part of the forest.

D: What? But Grunkle Stan, I-

GS: What, are you “scared”? Ha!

D: Fine [Pause] Stupid Grunkle Stan, making me put up signs in the- what’s this? A journal? Suddenly our lives were upside down!

M: Gnomes!

D: Zombies!

M: Mermen!

D: Mysteries abound! This Journal 3 I’ve found, Is the answer I’ve been looking for.

D+M: Now we finally know, We can survive the summer! We will dare, Go anywhere, Uncover any more monsters.

D: The journal says “trust no one,”

M: But we can still have some fun!

D+M: This town is not what it seems.

D: Write down all that I’ve seen!

D+M: A summer full of mystery, Right here in Gravity Falls!

JUST A WIDDLE LOVE SONG

Gideon: This is just a widdle love song, It’s the kind of thing I do, This is just a widdle love song, love song, And I made it just for you. So Mabe-y baby stay and listen, Cause this song is overdue, This is just a widdle love song, love song, And I just gotta say that Mabel, I love you! Every morning, when I wake up, I think of you, and the whole world seems to light up! And when the night comes, if I’m feeling sad again, I think of you, and wonder what you’ve been doin’!

This is just a widdle love song, It’s the kind of thing I do, This is just a widdle love song, love song, And I made it just for you. So Mabe-y baby stay and listen, Cause this song is overdue, This is just a widdle love song, love song, And I just gotta say that Mabel, I love you!

NOBODY WANTS TO KNOW THE TRUTH

Stan: Nobody wants to know the truth. Nobody wants to know what’s real, what’s wrong, what’s fake— They wanna be fooled. Nobody really wants to see The seams and the snares, Hey, kid, they just don’t care. Ya distract ‘em and they’ll give ya green. Nobody wants to look too close. Nobody wants to read the fine print, give 'em the bold and they’re already sold. And nobody’s really all that brave, What’s true is too much for these rubes but a touch Of a sham and they’ll rant, hey they’ll rave. It’s easy as pie. It’s easy as just Two lies for a laugh, And then prevaricate to give 'em a fright. Then tapdance 'round the background—they’ll doubt if your story’s too tight. Ya just suggest. They’ll make up the rest themselves. Just wait and see. You’ll confuse 'em You’ll always ruse 'em Because… Nobody wants to be the dupe. Nobody wants to know the truth Is what they avoid or admit they’ve been fooled. Everybody’s happy to pretend Just to keep living. Pretend’s what I’m giving, Oh, watch me work Watch me give it right down to the end. Hey ma'am? Customer 1: Yeah, sir? Stan: I can carry that wallet. Looks heavy. Hey, sir? Sir, Look here, Yeah, I’d call this a deal Customer 2: It’s a steal! Stan: There’s appeal in befuddlements Packaged and pricetagged so low, Had ya any sense— Customer 2: Sold! Stan: So, kid, you ask my why I do the things that I do. Did you hear the clink of the cash in the drawer? Do I gotta rehash just what it’s all for? (Pause) Nobody wants to know the truth. Nobody wants to know 'bout petty crime or misspent youth, Or who was wrong, And who was right, Or why old men don’t sleep at night. Nobody needs to know.

THE AUTHOR

Dipper: He’ll be amazing, He’ll be fantastic, Like a hero from a movie-

Mabel: It sounds like he’s made of plastic! D: He’ll be brilliant, He’ll be clever, He’ll be everything I’ve ever dreamed or ever hoped to be. D: I bet he’s been to lands untold! M: I bet he’s a million years old! I bet his voice cracks when he’s stressed! D: I bet his every breath puffs up his chest! M: I bet he knows every secret. D: If there’s one he doesn’t know, he’ll seek it. I bet he has a sweeping cape- M: Wait, Dipper, what if we made a mistake? What if he’s dead? D: What? M: What if he’s- D: No, that can’t be- M: The entry here dates ‘73. D: Mabel, that’s short for 1973, not 73 AD. But even if he is old, He’s still amazing, M: He’s still fantastic, D+M: Like a hero from a movie, Definitely cliche-classic. He’ll be brilliant, He’ll be clever.

D: We’ll find him soon together. M: You and me, there’s nothing better! D+M: You and me, and me and you, We’ll find him, the Author!

LET’S MAKE A DEAL

Bill: Ah, Gravity Falls! In color, even! Fancy. Man, it’s good to be back! You have no idea how long I was stuck in the nightmare dimension, kid.

Gideon: Listen Cipher!

Bill: Oh goodness, was I babbling?

Gideon: I have a job for you!

Bill: Ahh... Let’s...make...a...deal!

Gideon: A deal?

B: It’s getting real!

Gideon: What on earth?

B: See when you say those words, I focus on you little nerds! Let’s make a deal!

Gideon: You said that.

B: Bear through my spiel, And you could be anything you want Just agree to my terms and I won’t taunt Let’s make a deal! Let’s make a deal! Let’s make a...deal!

Bill: So, wha’d’ya want, Gids? Infinite power? Money? Deer teeth?

Gideon: No! I want you to break into the mind of Stanford Pines and steal the code to his safe.

Bill: Well. Mindscape invasion, Though it’s fun, it’s evasion, Of the law if I do it for you. It’s a tricky business and I’ve got a lot of plans, So hush up kid and listen, cause I have got my own demands... A little something in the works, Not disastrous, not mean, I’ve just been trapped in a decaying dimension while plotting my schemes. Now I’m not the type of Dorito that likes to lie to guys like you, You seem smart so I won’t waste time on you. If you help me out, then I’ll steal the code. Do we have a deal?

Gideon: Agreed.

B: We...have...a...deal!

Gideon: A deal!

B: It just got real!

Gideon: Oh yes!

B: See when you say those words, I focus on you little nerds! Let’s make a deal!

Gideon: You said that.

B: Bear through my spiel, Remember no tricksies cause I’ll EAT YOUR SOUL THEN WE’RE DONE! Play by the rules and you and I will be the best of chums! We have a deal!

Gideon: We have a deal!

B: We have a deal!

B+G: We have a...deal!

LET’S MAKE A DEAL - REPRISE

Bill: Well well well! Got yourself a problem, don’t cha Pinetree?

Dipper: You again! What are you doing here!

Bill: Just coming round to offer my assistance. You know, I can be quite helpful if-

Dipper: What?! No! I’d never trust you.

Bill: Slow down, kid! Just think about it.

B: Let’s...make...a...deal!

Dipper: A deal?

B: A bargain meal!

Dipper: I’m gonna be sick.

B: See when you say those words, I focus on you little nerds! Let’s make a deal!

Dipper: GO AWAY.

B: Bear through my spiel, And you could be anything you want Just agree to my terms and I won’t taunt Let’s make a deal! Let’s make a deal! Let’s make a...deal!

Dipper: No. Get away from me.

Bill: Ouch. Suit yourself, kid. I’ll be back, and my price is gonna be something MUCH STEEPER.

JUST A PUPPET

Bill: All I want is a puppet, Maybe one with googly eyes, (side note: is googly a word...?) Just a little puppet, Why is that such a surprise? All my life I’ve been waiting, For the chance to have one be Mine, tell me, and be honest, Can you spare one just for me? Dipper: I dunno, Mabel worked really hard on these- B: Don’t you want those answers? I can tell you anything, And all I want, all I want, Is a puppet! D: Just one? B: For everything. B: So what d’ya say, Pine Tree? Do we have a deal?

D: Deal. So, what puppet are you going to pick, anyways?

B: Let’s see. Eeny, meeny, miney, YOU.

Tell me Pine Tree, Did you think that I’d be without plans? A second agenda, With my own goals, And now, strike up the band!

We have a deal! Here’s the reveal... You’re my puppet until I find and burn that third journal! So just sit tight and rest assured it’s nothing personal!

B: Hahaha! We have a deal!

D: No no no no no! Stop!

B: We have a deal!

D: The laptop! B: Your fate is sealed. Hahahahahaha!

I TRUST YOU

[TO BE WRITTEN]

THE TALE OF TWO STANS

Ford: I suppose we should start at the beginning, then. Stan: 1960-something, Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey. Young Stan: Hey, Sixer? Young Ford: What? YS: Are you sleeping? YF: Yes. YS: You're such a liar! I can hear Your nerdy little voice Loud and clear In my ear! YF: Sometimes I wish you'd just disappear. YS: No you don't. YF: Goodnight. (Pause) YS: Hey, Fordsy. YF: Ugh! Go to bed, Stan! YS: No! I'm not tired and I say, This is the best time of the day For adventure. C'mon let's go and play! YF: Why? We did that all day. Go away! YS: Hey! We could be pirates sailing far, Across seven seas under the stars, Or maybe soldiers in a galactic war, C'mon Sixer, what are you waiting for? The night is ours, Use your head. We could make a huge blanket fort on your bed, And pretend to be knights saving pretty ladies- YF: School's tomorrow are you crazy? YS: Maybe! We can save the world from supernatural threats! Slaying mighty dragons without breaking a sweat! Finding buried treasure and diamonds and rubies, C'mon Sixer, why won't you play with me? Aliens, monsters, They'll all quake in fear, When they hear that the Pines twins are near! Dashing, charming, and handsome too! YF: Please be quiet - mom and dad will kill you! YS: Think about this, Just you and me! Our future right there for the taking. A story book fairy tale just opened up And it's written just for us. Stanford why are we waiting? Can't you see? The world is full Of new things to find, days for seizing, I'll punch my way out of anything. And I know you've got my back. Sixer, I'm not teasing. You and me! YF: You and I. YS: Side by side, Together? YF: Together. BOTH: Forever and ever, I'll never leave you behind! MA PINES: Boys! It's way past your bedtime! If I come up there and find that you've made a mess...! S: Those were the days, huh, Sixer? F: High school followed a few years later, and my future began to look bright. TEACHER: Mr. and Mrs. Pines, welcome. We need to talk about your son, Stanford. Stanley is waiting outside, but we'll get to him later. MA PINES: What's happened? Has Stanley spray painted the girls' locker room black, again? TEACHER: Yes, but that's not the point. Your son Stanford... He's a genius! A straight "A" genius! All the staff is going crazy Over his new project. Mr. Pines, he's great! You should be proud! Some college administrators Will be visiting tomorrow. I am almost certain That Stanford stands a chance with them. MA PINES: What about my Stanley? TEACHER: Miss, fast food restaurants were started for one purpose: to give jocks like Stanley a job. Look at the bright side, he'll always be nearby. (Pause) Teen Stan: Ha! Like you'd want to go to college. Ha! Like you'd leave me behind. All for the "pursuit of knowledge," Jokes on them: we're staying side by side. Teen Ford: You know what, Stan, I've been thinking. This is a huge break for me. I could actually do something with my life, Just you wait and see! Tomorrow decides my fate, Tomorrow seals the deal. That project decides my fate, But I know when that man walks in, he'll- Give me a scholarship, Make me an offer. TS: But what about us? Our hunting for coffers? TF: It can wait. TF: I'll make you a deal, Stanley. If I don't get a scholarship, then I'll do the treasure-hunting thing with you. Deal? TS: (Pause) Alright. (Pause) TS: What about me, huh? What'll I do? All of my plans Were banking on you, Being there with me. But those plans I'll never see! All because of a stupid project, I've been pushed aside like a dusty old object And like THAT suddenly my future is gone! (Machine breaks) TS: Oh no, no please! Okay...okay. Fixed it. Good as new. (Pause) TF: Today decides my fate, Today seals the deal. That project decides my fate, But I know when that man walks in, he'll MAN: Son, your machine's broken. TF: What?! No, no! It was working just yesterday- MAN: I think I'm done here. TF: (Pause) STAN! TS: Hey, Sixer! How'd it go? TF: It didn't "go" at all! My project was broken, Stanley. And guess what I found next to it! TS: Okay, so...maybe I hit it. But hey, there's a silver lining! Eh? Treasure hunting? TF: Are you kidding me? Why would I want to do ANYTHING with you? You ruined my future! FILBRICK PINES: You did what, you knucklehead? Get out of my house, Get out of this place! You tiny louse, Find some other space! FILBRICK: And don't come back! TS: What? Wait! Sixer, don't let him do this? High six? (Pause) TS: Fine! I don't need you, I don't need a home, I hate every one of you. Someday I'll be famous, And on that day you'll see, The name "Stanley Pines" on every billboard, And you'll remember me! No I won't be coming back! Not even if you beg me! Look at everything you'll lack, Now that I'm gone, you'll see. So bye! Ciao! See ya! And one thing overdue: Ford, I know your listening, I hope you're happy with the future you lose! (Pause) S: So...I decided to do the treasure-hunting thing. Turns out that gold is some kind of "rare metal." I struck gold elsewhere, though: in sales! Adult Stan: Hello my name is Stanley Pines! Are you sick of band-AIDS that won't come off? You need the RIP-OFF! It comes off easy! RIP-OFF! Trust me, I ain't sleazy. When I say it comes off, it comes off! S: The problem was: it didn't stay ON. Needless to say... It ended badly. But with a quick name change, Steve Pinington was ready to take on New York. AS: Hello my name is Steve Pinington! Are you sick of stains that won't come out? You need the SHAM! It makes it easy! The SHAM! Trust me, I ain't sleazy. When I say it won't give you rashes- S: It gave you rashes. And that's how I began - and that's why I'm banned from 43 states. F: Meanwhile, I had to go to my...second choice college. DEAN: Welcome, students, To Backupsmore. We weren't your first choice, But there's more! We make up for what we lack in mostly bug-free dorms! F: I had to work twice as hard for my degree, but luckily for me, that's what I do best. I soon graduated with 12 PhD's and was awarded a grant for my research, but what to study? Adult Ford: All my life I've been teased, For my hands, my abnormality. Six fingers on each hand, Excluded from group activities. Maybe there's a reason, Maybe there's a place, Filled up with superstition, Sightings. Just a trace, Is all I need to go on. Aha! That's it! I'll study the paranormal, And of sightings, just a minute, There it is, I knew it! In Oregon's countryside, There's a town called Gravity Falls, Where folks say monsters hide. F: I set off at once and started my research. I began to keep a journal- Dipper: AHHHHH THE JOURNALS!!! (Pause) D: Sorry, I just...keep going. F: Right. Well, my research led me to...an interesting circumstance. S: Meanwhile for me, life was great. Everything was going smoothly. (Door knocks) AS: Hold on, Horace! I told you once already. We sorted this out- You gave me a week to- AS: A postcard? (Pause) AS: Calm down, Stanley, breathe. It's only been ten years, Plus, he's your brother. It's not like he'll- AF: HALT. HAVE YOU COME TO STEAL MY EYES?! (Pause) AS: Great to see you too. AF: Stanley. Quickly - inside. AS: Did you build this? AF: Yes, but Stanley, I need you to listen to me. Take this journal, Keep it safe. Promise me, You'll keep it safe! AS: Alright, alright. AF: Do you remember our plans? Our plans to search for treasure? To sail across the seven seas, The world's width to measure? AS: Yeah- AF: Take this, and sail far away with it. AS: You're kidding! That's it? All this way- You must be SICK. Ten years, I haven't seen you! Ten years, I thought it'd be- Forget this. Forget you! I'll just burn this book and leave- AF: No! My research! AS: Get off of me- AH! AF: Stanley! No, oh god- OOF! AS: Some brother you turned out to be. AF: Stanley...Stanley! AS: What's going on?! AF: Help me, Stanley! Help me...! AS: No. No! You can't take him, I just got him back! S: I stayed down there for days, trying to get that thing to work. Eventually, I had to go out for food. (Pause) Lazy Susan: Hey, aren't you that researcher in the woods? Manly Dan: Whatcha been doin' up there, bro? AS: Oh, nothing much... LS: I'd pay anything to see what's in that "mystery shack" of yours! AS: Pay? Money? S: And so, the Mystery Shack was started. I'd spend my days upstairs, selling cheap oddities and museum tours. But at night, I was back in the basement, working on getting the Portal to work again.

THE AUTHOR - REPRISE

Dipper: He’s amazing, He’s fantastic, Like a hero from a movie, And he’s living in our basement!

He is brilliant, He is clever, He is everything I’ve ever dreamed, And ever hoped to be!

Stan: Kid, you’ve got your facts twisted around.

S: He cares for nothing but himself, The only reason why he ever does anything is to get trophies on shelves, He wants to go down in history, A statue in gold, over billions sold, and the world, the world at his feet.

D: No! If he’s as selfish as you say,

S: Oh, you bet he is.

D: Then why have you for the past thirty years worked on that portal for every day You could’ve taken your things and left,

S: Kid…

D: But you stayed here working, with monsters still lurking, and you turned away from theft!

S: That’s enough! There are some things that kids like you just can’t understand.

D: But Grunkle Stan-!

S: I said THAT’S ENOUGH! And stay away from my brother.

TRUST NO ONE

Ford: Take this back, this path of choices, I didn’t mean for this at all. I shook his hand, “show me your way,” And here I stand, on Judgment Day, Waiting, mere hours ‘til Earth’s curtain call.

I never should have trusted him, why did I? He who only watches with a single eye? I thought the dream was pure, But not I’m not so sure. It’s too late to change, just repeat that line.

When I try to sleep, it’s in my head, All burning broken desolate and dead, But there’s nothing I can do, He planned this out, he knew, That I’d have no where to turn after the fall. Besides, who could help me? Who who try? Everything is lost and I trust no one.

APPRENTICE

Ford: Dipper, can’t you see? You are so much like me, Can it be, that you were meant for something more? Your future’s right in front of you, I’m opening a door. Be my apprentice, Dipper, You don’t want to miss this, Dipper, You and me, we’ll take the world by storm! Just you and I together, We’ll change this world forever, Stick with me, we’ll be mystery defined, Just Dipper and Stanford Pines. Dipper: But what about school?

F: I’ll teaching you everything. D: What about my friends? F: Casualties for progress.

D: What about my parents? F: They’ll be thrilled!

D: What about Mabel?

F: She’ll be fine on her own. Twins have an understated ability to...move on.

D: I don’t know... We’ve never really been apart before.

F: Isn’t it suffocating? Haven’t you wanted to do something with your life? This is your chance!

Be my apprentice, Dipper, You don’t want to miss this, Dipper, You and me, we’ll take the world by storm! Just you and I together, We’ll change this world forever, Stick with me, we’ll be mystery defined-

D: Great Uncle Ford!

GROWING UP

Soos: Whoa, dude! Slow down! Mabel: Oh my gosh! We could have the party HERE! Stan: Ha! No. Knowing you two, you'll probably raise the dead or somethin'. Not in my house! Soos: Hey dude! You could try the gym - it'd be a great place for your party. Mabel: That's a great idea, Soos! Let's go! I'm growing up, There's no need for babysitters, I'm old enough! I'm growing up, Drop the "pre" in preteen, high school here I come! In just a couple days, I'll be older, In so many ways. No turning back, now, Look out world, I'm growing up! Mabel: Whoa, what is everyone doing at school for the summer? Soos: I dunno, dude. I thought it was gonna be empty. Wendy: Hey! Mabel! Mabel: Wendy? You're here too? Wendy: Yeah. Everybody's here signing up for next year stuff. Mabel: This is great! I'm going to be in high school next-next year. Do you have any tips? Wendy: Don't try to grow up too fast. Mabel: What? Wendy: Listen, let me be honest, High. School. Sucks. Everybody's angry, Covered with acne, Drama's always everywhere, Boys like you based on your hair. Robbie: Hormones! Tambry: Taxes! Thompson: College! Nate: Jobs! Ensemble: Only four years to endure, But it's like death, you can be sure! Hey! Whoo! Sit down! Get to class! Detention! Wendy: When you grow up, There's no more crying, No more relaxing, Everyone's lying. You can't wake up, This is the nightmare That is high school Ensemble: High school! Wendy: Anyway. Whatcha doin' here? Mabel: Oh, you know, just...planning my thirteenth birthday party. Wendy: Cool. Can I come? Mabel: Sure. Soos: C'mon, dude. We have to deliver your invitations. Mabel: Oh yeah! I'm growing up, PG-13 movies, yeah, I'm old enough! I'm growing up, Sure there's high school soon but I can finally fall in love! In just a couple days, I'll be older, In so many ways. No turning back, now, Look out world, I'm growing up! Mabel: Candy! Grenda! Candy: Hello Mabel. Grenda: Heyyy. Mabel: You're not gonna believe...THIS! Grenda: What? You're birthday party's on the last day of summer? But I'm going on vacation with my boyfriend! Mabel: What? No! Candy, you can still come, right? Candy: Sorry, Mabel. My parents send me to music camp this time of year. There is no escape from music camp. Grenda: Sorry we can't come. Candy: We're going to miss you! Soos: Dude? Are you okay? Mabel: I'm growing up, Summer's ending soon, my friends are leaving. Feels like I'm doomed, But you know what? The sun's still shining through! In just a couple days, I'll be older, In so many ways. No turning back, now, Look out world- Ford: Be my apprentice, Dipper You don't want to miss this, Dipper Mabel: No... I'm growing up, I can't be a kid, anymore. I'm growing up, Why did everything turn out so poorly? In just a couple days, I'll leave my brother, I'm out of control. No turning back, now, Look out Mabel, You're growing up...

APPRENTICE - REPRISE

Ford: See Dipper? This is what I mean…. Can you look in the mirror and follow your dream? You’re a kid unlike any I’ve known! Whose bravery and knowledge have always brightly shown Will you be my apprentice Dipper? You sure don’t wanna miss this, Dipper.

Dipper: I’ll do it!

F: You’ll do it? Oh that’s wonderful my boy!

D: I’m meant for so much more!

D+F: You and me, we’ll take the world by storm! Just you and I together We’ll change this world forever!

F: Stick with me! We’ll be mystery defined, D+F: Just Dipper and Stanford Pines.

FANTASY VS. REALITY

[TO BE WRITTEN]

WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE

Stan: Can this be real? Can you hear how I feel? Are you sleeping, or is it pretend? I don’t think you know That for this battered soul, You’re the world, mid, beginning, and end. Ya know, sometimes I think I’m dreaming. Please tell me how I could have known That after those years Of heartache and tears I’d be here, with so much to lose. What could I have done To deserve to have someone Love me the way that you do? What I wouldn’t give— Had I another chance to live, I’d trade it all Just to keep both of you.

SURVIVE THE SUMMER - REPRISE

D: A few days ago, Bill took over the town, Now we're stuck here, And there is no way out. M: I can't believe this happened. It's all my fault- D: What? Mabel- M: I can't figure out a way BOTH: To survive the summer.

TAKE BACK THE FALLS

M: We have an idea!

S: Mabel? What are you doing up?

D: We know how we can defeat Bill!

D: We’ll need smarts!

M: And sweaters!

D: We’ll work in any kind of weather.

M: Cause we can do it if we work together-

S: What are you kids talking about?

M: Just listen!

D: Before Bill burned the journals, Grunkle Ford started to say, That Bill has a weakness! Now we know there’s a way!

M: So all we have to do, Is bust in and rescue Ford. Then he can help us beat Bill, We just gotta work to

D+M: Take back the Falls!

D: With your inventions and skill.

D+M: Take back the Falls!

M: By the end of this you bet we will! We just have to start with this house, Tell us, you guys, you in or out?

S: You kids need to go back to bed, you’re obviously sick in the head or something’.

M: Grunkle Stan, Bill has your brother. You can’t let him go, you just got him back!

D: We can do this.

Wendy: I’m in.

Soos: Me too!

Fiddleford: Me three!

Ensemble: Take back the Falls! With our inventions and skill. Take back the Falls! By the end of this you bet we will! And that one-eyed evil, Won’t see us now, take back the falls! With our inventions and skill. Take back the Falls! By the end of this you bet we will! No more running, and hiding, We’re done! Take back the Falls!

M: Grunkle Stan, why aren’t you helping?

S: Me, rescue my brother again? Ha, no. What’s the point? He’s dead to me either way.

()

Ford: Let him go you- what?

Bill: Hiya Fordsy. You have a nice nap?

F: Where am I?

B: The Fearamid. Like it? I think it’s snazzy. Have a seat!

F: What are you laughing at?

B: After all this time, you still don’t recognize a flesh couch, do you?

F: Agh! () What do you want, Bill?

B: You know that forcefield thing?

F: What forcefield thing?

B: There’s something that’s stopping my Weirdmageddon from getting released to the masses.

F: Gravity Falls’ Law of Weirdness Magnetism, yes I know it.

B: How do I get rid of it?

F: I’ll never tell you.

B: Then I’ll just have to make you tell me.

F: AH!

()

WHAT COULD I HAVE DONE - REPRISE

Ford: What could I have done To deserve to have someone Love me the way that you do? What I wouldn’t give For another chance to live! I’d give it a-all….

GROWING UP - REPRISE

M: We're growing up, Now the summer's ending, Soon it will be fall. D: We're growing up, Turn our backs on this town, Bye Gravity Falls. S: Now you're both older- F: And smarter, but don't lose heart. S: Promise we'll be back to visit, M+D: Promise we'll be back to visit. W: See ya when you come to visit. M: Waddles? I...I told you, mom and dad won't let me bring a pig home. You can't come. S: Forget what they said! Hey, driver! This pig is going with the kids, you hear me? DRIVER: Now wait just a minute- Uh, I mean, welcome aboard, pig. W: Hey, Dipper. Come back soon, okay? CANDY: Bye Mabel! GRENDA: We'll miss you! SOOS: See ya, little dudes. F: Goodbye, Dipper and Mabel. It was a pleasure to be able to meet you. (Brief pause) S: Kids, you knuckleheads were nothing but a nuisance and I'm glad to be rid of ya. (Pause) M: We'll miss you, Grunkle Stan. (Pause) D: Ready to head into the Unknown? M: Nope. Let's do it. D: So, if you're ever taking a road trip in the Pacific Northwest, look out for a bumper sticker for a place called Gravity Falls. It's not on any maps, and most people have never heard of it. Some think it's a myth. But if you're curious, don't wait. Take a trip. Find it. It's out there somewhere in the woods...waiting.

#holy crap I'm dead #lyrics

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how2to18 · 6 years

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PETER COVIELLO’S RECENT MEMOIR, Long Players, has proven to be excellent readerly company across this summer. In it, Coviello tells the story of his divorce and its aftermath, his ongoing and inventive love for his ex-stepdaughters, and how his relationship to music has threaded through it all, helping him remake himself. In some ways, the book is a departure for an academic literary critic — it is raw and deeply personal. But the book is also of a piece with Coviello’s critical work on forms of intimacy, and as such, it connects critical and personal writing in a really inventive way. I recently sat down with Pete at the wonderful independent Brooklyn bookshop Books Are Magic to discuss taking the leap from academic writing into trade writing, his process, friendship, and more. What follows is an edited reprise of our conversation.

SARAH BLACKWOOD: Okay, Pete, to set the weepy, emo tone of the evening, I wanted to tell a quick story about the beginning of our friendship. If you recall, when we first met, you were in the thick of the heartbreak you chronicle in this book, and I was still in graduate school. But, to bracket for a moment what was going on with you at the time — promise, we’ll get back to it! — I just want to say that from my side of things, meeting you at that moment was sort of life-changing? Like there I was, a gnarled and unhappy student, certain that I would never know enough, that I’d be revealed as a fraud at any moment, just in the thick, miasmic forest of graduate school neurosis, and when you arrived it was like, Oh. Oh! Here is a way to be! A super smart, accomplished intellect who was also somehow raw and open and occupying his intellect in this sort of full-bodied way. And so in those last months, as we started to become friends, something also happened in my writing. It opened up. That’s a very real gift you gave me! What is more, I recognized it at the time. I recently went digging through old files (horror!) to remind myself what I wrote about you in the acknowledgments (lol) to my dissertation (lol), and this is what I found: “Peter Coviello showed up in Chicago at just the right time to remind me that writing and talking about literature should be a joyful endeavor.”

[Pause for Pete to quietly weep for a minute.]

Now of course, I see that what I took for joyful openness was coming from real heartbreak. But in reading this book now, almost 10 years later, it really struck me, the extent to which you were still able to give — as a friend, as a scholar, as a community member — even while you were completely losing your shit.

So, Pete: How did you do that?! Or maybe that’s an impossible question, so how about we start here: memoir is sometimes derided as a solipsistic, naval-gazing genre, but I found this book just the way I have always found you to be, which is very other oriented. You know, obviously this book is radically peopled — it includes a lot of friends and characters strewn all over the world — and I wonder if you could speak a little to how the writing process brought you in touch with yourself but also with all these other people, and maybe you could speak a little to how you see personal writing working in that way: as a way to both look inward and outward at the same time?

PETER COVIELLO: Well, Sarah, the first thing to say is: That’s a ridiculously moving story! That I was in any kind of heartening relation to anybody during that queasy, ill-spirited time is basically an amazement — let alone to you, whom I remember because you were so ready to get a drink, and to introduce me to your people, and to fall to cheerful fighting about, like, Henry James heroines. You helped to nurture in me the fragile little belief that there might yet be worlds, new worlds, left for me to inhabit, there in the aftermath of the collapse of the intimate world anchored by my marriage.

So this is just a really kind thing to say. One of the nicest responses I’ve received to the book was when someone at a reading said, “It seems like you were loved extremely well by your friends” — which was of course gratifying, because, just as you suggest, a lot of the book comes out of this sense of startled, dumbstruck gratitude. I was cared for, in those bad days, in ways so far beyond what I was able to return, even marginally, in terms of attentiveness or affection or really any of the rudiments of grown-up friendship. I think the book got a lot better, over the course of its drafting, when it ceased to be a meticulous accounting of these long inward seasons of sorrow and became something closer to what it is now, which is a kind of love letter. Or, more truthfully, several love letters, sewn together into one: a love letter to all the people who, with an extraordinary delicacy and patience, loved me back into a belief in the happier possibilities of being alive; to the little girls, my suddenly ex-stepdaughters, who sustained our closeness with these fully amazing everyday feats of ingenuity and openheartedness; and, of course, to all those songs — songs and songs and songs — which pretty much never stopped offering me the sensation, if not quite the fact, of better, brighter eventualities. They kept offering, I mean, a way to feel tethered to the world, and to all these beloved people.

Another way to say it, I suppose, is that writing like this — “personal writing,” or whatever we want to call it, became for me a way to think, with some sustained focus, both about gratitude and how to be in relation to it. It occurred to me, late in the compositional day, that a good deal of what those turbulent years entailed for me was figuring out how to get a handle on the stark surprise of being loved — by friends, but not only by friends — when everything inside me was shouting out, pretty convincingly, that if what happened to me showed anything at all, it was that I was not, finally, lovable. To anybody.

So, I mean, loving people back toward a mislaid belief in the ampler possibilities of being alive? I still think that’s an extraordinary human transaction. I should say too that it’s one I would not know half as much about without, oh, many, many years immersed in queer theory, and for that matter in the worlds of queer sociability out of which that scholarship grows. I think part of me wanted to write a book about that, which meant tending to all those passages of sustaining friendship.

One thing I really loved about this book’s accounting of heartbreak and friendship was its timeline: it bounces around, even as it tells a roughly chronological story, and reflects how emotional life so often fails to follow a narrative of progress.

Can you talk a little bit about how you found the experience of trying to map or chart a set of feelings, like how to put into narrative coherence the way that heartbreak and depression don’t follow a ladder-step of progress?

Oh man, I like what you say about the, as it were, competing chronologies of heartbreak: the actual one, where you travel from city to city and make new friends and do your job and such, and the emotional one, where you’re all over the fucking map. That was certainly my experience of that subspecies of plummeting misery: “One night is lovely, the next is brutal,” as Liz Phair puts it, with enviable concision. So having to map those two very different trajectories — that was a challenge! — but it was also, in the end, a fun kind of writerly challenge.

Here’s a quick way of saying what I mean, which comes with a little story. When I first drafted the book, it was much longer, and it had a pretty different trajectory. When I finished that initial draft, I was so psyched. I gave it to my agent in this state of amped-up pride and eager expectation, and he read it, line by line by line by line, and — total hero that he is — he was like, “Yeah man, this is so great, nicely done, good work! Also: It’s really wrong.” And what was wrong was that it did not move — it was just, in that first draft, one long, wearying account of the intricacies of, you know, being devastated by a divorce. And what Chris said, and what even more amazingly he said in such a way that I could hear it and not just be fucking demolished by it, was: “Ultimately, your sadness is just not that interesting.”

Writers! This is spectacularly good counsel! It was, of course, devastating (I think part of me was like, “No dude, there is nothing more interesting than my prolix sadness!”), but it had the great effect of making me think about exactly what you’re talking about: how to plot the book, according to what arcs of development, and across what grids of circumstance.

This did two things that ended up being just hugely important to me. It forced me to back away from that story of, like, Woe Woe Woe Is Me!, and, in turn, to get enough room to see a very different story than the one I’d been telling. That was the story of how much I had been involved in the making of that terrible period of sorrow — how much I had done to contribute to it, to make it happen, and to sustain it. We are back here, I think, to shame, because one of the things the book is finally and most largely about, I think, is its protagonist’s terrible, blinding narcissism — his eager, grandiose belief that he could (for instance) just love the sorrow right out of anybody. Having to rewrite the emotional order of the book forced me to grapple with that and to see that part of what the book might be about is the labor of unlearning that kind of self-aggrandizing narcissism, that garden-variety “my love can redeem all hurt” sort of dumb masculinity.

Because I mean how better to unlearn your narcissistic grandiosity than by, oh, writing a memoir?

Chris’s insistence that I needed to rethink the plotting of the book — along with that of my wonderful editor, Elda — also brought home, at last, the thing they’d been trying to tell me for quite a while. This was just that the book wasn’t really about my sadness, or my loss, or whatever. The best version of the book, they kept saying, was going to be about the girls, and they were right.

The girls! Pete, I say with some authority: you are an excellent writer of children and parents (for example: “We were people with children standing mannequinlike and laden with mittens and scarves and snacks among others like ourselves in humid waiting rooms,” or the concision of describing children as “by mystifying turns noisy and silent.”) I’m curious: Did you keep notebooks while the girls were children? How did you muster all that rich detail about a time pretty long past?

Dude, of course I kept notebooks when the girls were little! This I did for no better reason than that I was so stunned, so day-by-day overwhelmed, by how fucking bad I was at being in a parental role! I was forever failing in patience, in equanimity, in wisdom, in all of what I took to be the minimum requirements of parenthood. Only later did I come to understand that this feeling — the feeling of perpetual and abject failure — was not due to my being a stepparent, or not solely. (Come to find out, the proper name for that feeling of swamping incompetence is: Parenthood!) That everyday sense of being involved in something I wasn’t good enough for, and the volatile cocktail of anger and shame that went with it, made for something of the, let’s say, vividness of those early days.

The other side of it was this insinuating knowledge that, even at my most frustrated and fearful, I could never quite manage to keep wholly hidden from myself: the simple knowledge that the girls were, in the ordinariest ways, fucking amazing — hilarious, weird, each her own little cosmos, and also just astonishingly loving little persons. As I think the book tries to describe, this was just one of the adult facts of existence for which I was astonishingly unprepared.

Right, right: the deep failure, and unpreparedness, and improvisation of parenting! So the book is very much about improvised family — and it was released in June for Father’s Day. As you know, I am pretty singularly obsessed not just with writing about motherhood but also with how our culture treats writing about motherhood. Can you talk a little bit about what you’ve observed from your conversations and reviews, et cetera, about how this book is being received as writing about parenthood?

I wish I better knew how the book was being received in terms of parenthood. I’ll say that one perpetually awful thing about the way our culture treats writing about motherhood — and this is something I’ve begun to learn how to be better attentive to, not least by reading you — is that fatherhood can very easily come to be assessed with the ridiculous absolving praiseful hyperforgivingness reserved for, y’know, dudes, or at least bougie white dudes. It is what my friend Katherine calls, perfectly, “the low bar of masculinity.” If, for that reason alone, it seemed to me important to stick pretty closely, in the book, to shame, to not let it dissipate, to not dismiss it as just the interior white noise proper to the rigors of parenthood. Because, I mean, if there’s anything men could stand to get in fucking relation to, it is shame — and by that I mean, precisely, getting accustomed to the practice of not dismissing it, of not being a shut-down kind of defensive. Of being willing to actually do the grinding work of parsing it out.

As you know from spending years talking about it with me, a lot of what I felt about the kind of parent I had managed to be was shame. One of the things that happens in the book, I think, is that the protagonist tries to figure out what parts of that shame were actually misapprehending — self-punishing misreadings — and what parts were totally, utterly earned. That is at least one of what you could call the “plots” of the book. And, as it turns out, I came by a lot of that shame honestly.

But this is less about the girls and more about, oh, everything else I was terrible at!

Well, one thing you are not terrible at is loving music and making mixtapes! What are some of your favorite pop songs/artists right now, here in the summer of seemingly the final year of the American experiment?

Oh, man, there’s just so much great music, you know? I’ll just say two things, both of which riff a bit from this little piece I got to write for Largehearted Boy, where you make a mix based on your book and then annotate it. First, we are fully immersed in this astonishing era of black pop genius: D’Angelo, Beyoncé, Janelle Monáe, Anderson .Paak, Kendrick Lamar, SZA, Chance, Frank Ocean for the love of god! And that is a list even I can give you, even someone with such pathetically middle-aged and basic taste as mine. Also, as my friend Mark says, the daughters of indie rock are bringing it home: bands like Girlpool and Charly Bliss and Vagabon and Big Thief, and dream-pop’ers like Japanese Breakfast and electro-folk outfits like Sylvan Esso … kids who probably grew up listening to records of the bands you and I were seeing at the Lounge Ax in 1994, or whatever, because that’s what their parents were listening to. They’re heartlifting.

And because we — or at least I — am fully and unmaskably middle aged, I might as well just admit that for a long time now the girls and I have reversed roles. I do not, categorically do not, give them music they haven’t heard. They’re the ones with their ears to the ground. (Which is how I came to know at all about Earl Sweatshirt, Sylvan Esso, Kali Uchis, and even — as you know — Chance himself.)

Okay, one last (big) question. Are you happy now? Pete, I know that you have found love, but do you want say a bit about what that’s meant to you?

Oh, Sarah. One thing to say is: You have been very patient with me, and very loving, over many years! That is to say: You have listened very gamely to a lot of lovelorn narration.

I guess I’ll say that the combined process of writing this book and falling in heart-swept love again — it was edifying. On the one hand, a lot of the book, as I’ve said, is about reckoning with all the ways that I was really, truly not at all good enough — however earnest and heartfelt I was in my efforts — at loving the people I loved. So one feeling is, like, Do better! Don’t entangle the person you so love with your own grandiose fantasies about yourself! (Or at least not too many of them…) Try to love the people you cherish a little less stupidly: that, for me, is one interior moral of the book.

But the other, I guess happier, side of it is different. At our reading in Brooklyn, one of the audience members said something that about knocked me over. It was something like, “There’s a lot of harm in the book, and a lot of sorrow — but not a lot of cruelty.” And I needed a minute to, like, take that in. What I suppose I hope he was saying was that, if the book is any evidence — and maybe it is, maybe it isn’t — I’d managed to free myself of the seductive story, the great narcotic fantasy, that I had been wronged, treated with callous disregard, or whatever. God knows that is how I thought about things for a stubbornly long time. But it was not a way of telling the story of those years that really did anything good for me — or for the girls, or for anyone.

So when he said that — you remember! — I kind of got teary. Because I thought, Oh jesus, maybe all the sharper edges of what happened — fully fucking 10 years ago — maybe that is, at last, as much as can be hoped, a thing that is behind me.

It made the kind of happiness I’m standing inside right now feel, suddenly, spacious. And what could be happier than that you were right there beside me as it happened? And that we’d head out to the bar to talk about it?

Sarah Blackwood has written about gender, popular culture, motherhood, and bodies for the New Republic, Slate, The Hairpin, and the Los Angeles Review of Books. With Sarah Mesle, she is co-editor of Avidly and the Avidly Reads book series, forthcoming from NYU Press.

The post Encores of Love and Listening: Sarah Blackwood and Peter Coviello Discuss “Long Players” appeared first on Los Angeles Review of Books.

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mesonishashank · 6 years

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Every Time Cobra Kai Paid Tribute To The Karate Kid

Cobra Kai loves paying tribute to The Karate Kid

Now that Cobra Kai is out and the world has had a chance to watch it on YouTube Red, it's clear that the soul of The Karate Kid movie franchise is alive and well in this sequel series. Set over three decades after the first showdown between Daniel LaRusso and the villainous Cobra Kai dojo, the show pays tribute to the legacy of the films in smart ways that are sure to make any fan smile.

Throughout Season 1 of Cobra Kai, there are not just mentions of The Karate Kid in flashbacks, but the story is structured in a way that the film is on your mind constantly--and that's a good thing. Given how seminal a movie The Karate Kid is, to not only fans but the stars who now reprise their roles on the show, it's important to pay respects to what came before. Still, it's a fine line to walk between properly paying tribute and flat-out copying without bringing anything new to the table. Thankfully, Cobra Kai relies on the former with nearly all of its homages helping to further expand the world its set in.

If you haven't watched the show and don't want to be spoiled, you should stop reading now. We're diving into heavy spoiler territory for the entire first season of Cobra Kai to look at the ways it honors The Karate Kid and even expands on it. Besides, what are you waiting for? The first season is out now and waiting for you. If you have seen the show or don't care about finding out what happens, buckle up because we have a lot to talk about. If anything, it should get you excited for Season 2.

1. Right where we left him

From: Episode 1

When fans last saw Johnny Lawrence, he was face down on the mat after being defeated by Daniel at the All-Valley Karate Tournament. Naturally, the first shot of him in Cobra Kai is face down on the mat after being defeated by life.

2. Back in the valley

From: Episode 1

California's San Fernando Valley is as important a character in The Karate Kid as anyone or anything else, and Cobra Kai recognizes that right away. While the show was mostly filmed in Georgia, it's nice to see it returned to the Valley for some establishing shots.

From: Episode 1

When Mr. Miyagi taught Daniel how to care for Bonsai trees in The Karate Kid, chances are he didn't expect them to be used as gifts for anyone who bought a luxury car. That said, kudos to Daniel for keeping the hobby alive.

4. A glimpse at Karate Kid 2

From: Episode 1

While footage from the original Karate Kid is used throughout Cobra Kai, this blending of the movies and the show put Johnny right back in the moment his former sensei turned on him. Interesting that the reminder of his leaving Cobra Kai is what makes him restart it.

5. Three rules

From: Episode 1

And restart it he does. Taking the harsh lessons he learned from Sensei Kreese, Johnny brings back the yellow and black.

6. Cobra Kai is back

From: Episode 2

While the dojo may have a different location and design (though the original makes an appearance later) there's no mistaking that logo and what it means to this franchise.

7. A glimpse of Mr. Miyagi

From: Episode 2

Though Pat Morita died in 2005 and is unable to reprise his role as Mr. Miyagi, his presence is felt throughout the show. Beyond that, though, his face appears a number of times--including this newspaper clipping that touts the victory of a "mystery dojo" at the All-Valley tournament.

8. Washing windows means nothing in Cobra Kai

From: Episode 2

While waxing cars, painting fences, and sanding floors helped to teach Daniel karate in the first movie, Johnny's style is a bit different. For him, chores are chores and nothing else. It shows a stark contrast in Cobra Kai's version of karate and Miyagi-Do's. So get busy, Miguel.

9. Even after 35 years, a good Halloween costume doesn't go out of style

From: Episode 3

Yes, it's hard to believe that Johnny held onto a Halloween costume he wore in 1984--especially one that holds terrible memories like getting beaten up by an old man. Still, it's a nice homage to the original movie to have him dust of the old skeleton costume and offer it to his student.

10. We missed you, Ali

From: Episode 3

Though Ali (Elisabeth Shue) only appeared in the first Karate Kid, her absence is very noticeable in Cobra Kai. Thankfully, her high school still keeps a photo of her in a trophy case for some reason. Good work finding that, Johnny.

11. Miguel's new threads

From: Episode 5

You can only learn karate in your street clothes for so long. Johnny passing on his training gi from The Karate Kid to Miguel proves he's the star pupil--well, the only pupil at this point--of the new Cobra Kai.

12. The student catches up with his teacher

From: Episode 5

Giving Daniel the chance to speak with Mr. Miyagi, even in this way, shows the importance of their relationship. Even though he's grown now, with a wife and kids, he's still that teenager from New Jersey looking for a father figure in his sensei.

13. The return of Miyagi-Do

From: Episode 5

Daniel wearing that familiar headband just feels right. It also shows him getting back to his own karate roots, the way Mr. Miyagi trained him.

From: Episode 5

It's appropriate that this was the episode that paid tribute to Morita, who was the soul of the film franchise. Spending an episode largely on Daniel reconnecting with his mentor and the ideals he learned from him helps in bringing the character full-circle.

15. The Cobra Kai of old

From: Episode 6

While Johnny's Cobra Kai dojo looks quite different from the one he first learned karate in, it was nice of the show to resurrect that old place for a flashback. It also smacks of the late 1970s/early 1980s with that huge mural.

16. Johnny leading the class once again

From: Episode 6

Inside the new Cobra Kai dojo, Johnny is once again head of the class. This time, though, it's not because Kreese has him step in to teach the students--he's the sensei now.

17. Wash the windows, wax the car. The classics never go out of style for Daniel

From: Episode 7

When Daniel said he loves this part, he wasn't the only one. Using chores to teach karate, just like Mr. Miyagi did with him, serves Daniel well. It may not be Johnny's thing, but it certainly is his.

18. One student is all he needs

From: Episode 7

As Miyagi did with him, Daniel only needs one student to go up against Cobra Kai's army.

19. The All-Valley Karate Tournament

From: Episode 7

Let's be honest, everyone knew the series was going to build up to this. Seeing the advertisement for the same tournament that led to Johnny's downfall, though, was a special moment.

20. Shape the tree

From: Episode 7

The seventh episode of Cobra Kai is a treasure trove of throwbacks to the original film. It's this quiet moment when Daniel teaches Robby how to trim a bonsai tree that he seems most like his former sensei.

21. Golf N' Stuff lives

From: Episode 7

Miguel's first date with Samantha was as cheesy and fun as Daniel's outing with Ali back in The Karate Kid--and that's thanks to the destination. Golf N' Stuff makes its return to the Karate Kid world, packing just as much putt-putt excitement as ever. Kudos to the show for including the song from the movie, Young Hearts by Commuter, as well.

Fun fact: Golf N' Stuff is a real place in the Valley that you can still visit, should you want to recreate these moments yourself.

22. A flashback to the tournament that started it all

From: Episode 7

As Johnny fights to get Cobra Kai's ban from the All-Valley tournament lifted, the council that makes the decision--which includes Daniel--looks at photos of the dojo's history in the competition. Naturally, that's where we see images of Daniel fighting Johnny from the movie.

23. A cobra in red

From: Episode 8

While this obviously isn't the same jacket Johnny wore in the movie, it's clear that this Cobra's sense of style has never really changed.

24. Ma's back!

From: Episode 8

Mr. Miyagi, Daniel's father-figure, may be unable to appear on the show. Thankfully, though, his mother did visit her boy during Season 1. Randee Heller reprised her role as Lucille LaRusso, the woman who first brought Daniel to the Valley, in this episode.

25. It's not a boat, but this will do the trick

From: Episode 8

As Daniel continues his lessons with Robby, they resemble Miyagi's teachings more and more. While he notes that the lake he and Mr. Miyagi trained on is no longer an option, the two of them practicing on a large rock created a similar visual.

26. Some rivalries never die

From: Episode 9

Daniel and Johnny bickered a bunch during Season 1, but this is the first time they nearly came to blows--recreating their final showdown at the All-Valley Tournament. It doesn't seem quite as intimidating when it's poolside.

27. Back at the South Seas

From: Episode 9

Though they don't come to blows, the two do go for a ride through the Valley, which brings Daniel back to his first Southern California home. This is the same run-down apartment complex he and his mom moved into in the first movie.

28. Some things have changed

From: Episode 9

Unlike when Daniel lived at the South Seas, the complex looks like it's been cleaned up--and there's actually water in the pool now.

29. Hitting the beach

From: Episode 9

What's the Karate Kid universe without a beach party? Unlike the one Johnny crashed in the movie, though, this one mostly goes off without a hitch.

30. Facebook stalking your ex is cool, right?

From: Episode 9

Johnny and Daniel's trip down memory lane leads them to a bar, which brings up the final mention of Ali this season. It seems Daniel is Facebook stalking his ex, though he won't add her as a friend. The audience learns that she went on to become a doctor, got married, and now lives in Colorado.

31. It's the final countdown

From: Episode 10

Some things never change--like the signage on a community center. The All Valley Sports Arena marquee looks incredibly dated.

32. This is a little awkward

From: Episode 10

While Daniel probably loved seeing a picture of himself on display this big, it's a little strange that the tournament had a poster printed of a moment from over three decades ago.

33. The yellow and black attack

From: Episode 10

If Cobra Kai is going to fight in a tournament, they're going to look good doing it. The classic sleeveless black and yellow gi makes its return in this episode and have the new class of Cobra Kai looking sharp.

34: Is he stealing Daniel's move?

From: Episode 10

Having the tournament start with the move that ended it in the movie is a really fun choice. Having star Cobra Kai student Miguel using it to taunt Daniel is even better. It's good to know the Crane Kick is still pretty devastating.

35. Hawk takes things too far

From: Episode 10

Just like Bobby in The Karate Kid, Hawk ultimately adheres to Cobra Kai's rule of showing no mercy and gets himself disqualified while attacking his opponent. Unlike Bobby in the movie, though, Hawk is thoroughly satisfied with his actions.

36. Kreese is always watching

From: Episode 10

Before the final fight between Miguel and Robby, Johnny is at odds with himself. After all, his star student is about to fight his son. Walking the hallways of the sports arena and seeing his old sensei's photo on the wall certainly doesn't help matters, though it does give Johnny a glimpse at who he's turning into.

37. That trick doesn't always work

From: Episode 10

While Miyagi was able to cure what was ailing Daniel with the heat from rubbing his hands together, Daniel clearly does not have the same talent. However, he does know how to call for a medic.

38. The students have become the teachers

From: Episode 10

It's Daniel vs. Johnny at the All-Valley one more time. However, now they're the senseis and not the students. Daniel is right when he says this will never be over.

39. It looks all too similar

From: Episode 10

The final fight is Cobra Kai vs. Miyagi-Do. Nothing has changed (except for the color of the mats). Even the scoreboard is the same.

40. The new Crane Kick

From: Episode 10

Since Miguel already unleashed a Crane Kick, Robby decided to up his game. Miyagi-Do is nothing if not creative when it comes to an attack. Daniel certainly couldn't pull this off.

41. Sweep the... shoulder?

From: Episode 10

Just like when Johnny swept Daniel's leg, Miguel targeted Robby's injured shoulder to get an advantage over his competition.

42. This looks wrong

From: Episode 10

In the end, the result wasn't what The Karate Kid prepared audiences for. Cobra Kai's ruthless ways won the trophy, leaving Robby defeated and Miguel and his crew standing tall.

43. Wait, isn't he dead?

From: Episode 10

Johnny clearly said that John Kreese was dead earlier in the season. That's simply not the case, though. In the final moments of the Season 1 finale, the former Cobra Kai sensei makes his grand return, puffing on a cigar and telling his student that the story is just beginning.

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njawaidofficial · 6 years

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27 Things We Learned On Set With Auli'i Cravalho

https://styleveryday.com/2018/03/13/27-things-we-learned-on-set-with-aulii-cravalho/

27 Things We Learned On Set With Auli'i Cravalho

Taylor Miller/BuzzFeed

1. If anyone could play you in a movie, who would you pick?

I would choose Viola Davis because I think she’s one of the best — if not the best — actresses of color.

2. Describe your style in three words.

Imma. Be. Cute. Which means, I’m gonna be cute in whatever I’m wearing, whether it’s heels or flip flops.

3. Craziest fan story?

“It was probably one of the worst moments of my life…”

I am Moana first and foremost and then I’m Auli’i, and I remember I was walking through the grocery store and I could tell that there was a mother and her child just kind of tailing me throughout the entire store… So, I kind of turn around, and I was like, “Hi, I’m Auli’i Cravalho. I think you know that.” And she’s like, “Oh my gosh, it is you. It’s so nice to meet you. Do you mind taking a picture with my child?” And I look at her child, and her child’s probably like four… and this kid does not know who I am. And she’s like, really tired, I can tell. She wants to go home. She has no idea who this 17-year-old girl is. And I’m like, “Sure, you want to take a picture?” So the mom picks up her kid who is NOT having it, and places her in my arms. And she starts bawling. Absolutely bawling. Just screaming her head off. It was probably one of the worst moments of my life because her mother wanted nothing more than for me to hold her and I was like, please just take her home.

4. Which emoji do you use the most?

Either the laughing/crying emoji or the red heart emoji. I’m either crying or just loving.

Taylor Miller/BuzzFeed

5. What’s your biggest pet peeve?

Grammar. Just wrong usage of grammar — it kills me.

6. Last person who texted you?

I texted my mom last. She said, “Good luck today,” and I said thank you.

7. What’s one beauty product you can’t live without?

Sunscreen. I’ll give up mascara, I’ll give up a hairbrush — sunscreen.

“I’ve been told that I look like Vanessa Hudgens.”

8. Who’s your celebrity doppelgänger?

I’ve been told that I look like Vanessa Hudgens and Miranda Cosgrove from iCarly.

Taylor Miller/BuzzFeed

9. Favorite reality show?

I actually don’t watch any TV at all. I don’t have a TV. I don’t want a TV. Because as cool as reality shows seem, my reality is enough of a craziness for me to live. But, it was through Rise that I was like, mom, I know that you raised me without TV, but I feel for intensive study purposes we should get Netflix. And she was like, fine. So now I’m binge-watching Stranger Things, and all of the shows that I didn’t get to watch.

“I actually don’t watch any TV at all.”

10. So, you’ve never seen your Rise co-star, Josh Radnor, in How I Met Your Mother?

No! I haven’t! I really have to watch it, I know that I do. Especially now after meeting and knowing Josh. He’s so smart and kind off camera. Knowing all of that, I now need to see him in How I Met Your Mother.

11. What’s one thing you can’t live without?

My mom, my cat — my family. I’m not in Hawaii and they’re miles away. I just have to feel that they’re close to my heart.

12. What’s your biggest guilty pleasure?

I don’t feel guilty about any of my pleasures, really. I will eat ice cream straight out of the tub!

Taylor Miller/BuzzFeed

13. Favorite place to visit?

Hawaii — back home. There’s no better place. I go back as often as I can, so if I’m off for a long weekend, I will be on that 10-hour flight back.

14. Hidden talent?

I’m double jointed!

“I’m so proud of myself for working a full-time job as well as completing my school work.”

15. What accomplishment are you most proud of?

I’m working so hard to graduate high school. So I will be graduating and I’m so proud of myself for working a full-time job as well as completing my school work. I’m almost there!

16. Dream vacation spot?

I would love to visit Spain!

Taylor Miller/BuzzFeed

17. Name something on your bucket list.

Jumping out of a plane — with a parachute! I should probably say that.

18. Biggest fear?

Drowning. Specifically, in the shower, which is why I don’t sing in the shower. Fun fact.

19. Best piece of advice you’ve ever been given?

“I got to meet Justin Timberlake. Greatest guy. Beautiful blue eyes.”

I’ve received a lot of really good advice in my 17 years of living. But I will say that, before I performed on the Oscars, I got to meet Justin Timberlake. Greatest guy. Beautiful blue eyes. But most importantly, he told me that I was meant to be there. Which was crazy to hear, because at 16 years old, I was like — this is too much. There are so many amazing people who have worked hard to get into this industry, and I managed to just kind of slip my way in and now I’m living this amazing dream. However you got here, you’re meant to be here. That was just mind-blowing and it just warmed my heart.

20. Background wallpaper on your phone?

[checks phone] L-M-A-O, it is Moana! I am Moana!

Taylor Miller/BuzzFeed

21. Describe the perfect day.

My perfect day would be surrounded by my family, all of us drinking some type of warm hot cocoa/coffee/chai/tea beverage. It’s cold outside and we’re just having a blast.

22. What’s been your favorite song to perform on Rise so far?

Might be “Mama Who Bore Me (Reprise)” [from Spring Awakening]. I love that song. It’s a strong belt song. It’s with all of my gals and we are all just singing our heads off. There’s also some really cool choreography — I’ve never really been a dancer, but I got to learn choreography and put some moves into my singing. It was really fun all around.

23. You’ve now worked with Lin-Manuel Miranda on both Rise and Moana. Any fun stories about him?

“I will never forget singing to Lin-Manuel Miranda over FaceTime while he was dressed as Hamilton.”

Lin actually wrote the rap that my co-star Damon Gillespie raps in the pilot. So you’ll be able to hear that. It’s amazing, as per usual with all of Lin-Manuel Miranda’s work. Working with him on Moana was absolutely amazing. The first time I stepped into a recording booth to sing the actual music, we had to FaceTime with Lin while he was here in New York for Hamilton — the BUSIEST guy on Earth — and so we FaceTimed him, and, I’m pretty sure he was in a white button-down, and I didn’t quite realize it at the time, but it had a little bit of flounce to it and I think he might have been in costume for Hamilton as we were FaceTiming him. He was like, “Okay! I’ve got like 20 minutes, I’m below the stage! Just let me hear it!” And so I sang, “How Far I’ll Go” for the first time and I will never forget that — singing to the incredible Lin-Manuel Miranda over FaceTime while he was dressed as Hamilton.

Taylor Miller/BuzzFeed

24. Which Disney character do you relate to most other than Moana?

Mulan. I loved Mulan. I always have. I don’t think I realized it when I was younger, but older me now realizes that part of the reason I loved what she did was because she was breaking gender norms. And she was like, “I really couldn’t care less if this is what a girl is supposed to do, because this is what needs to be done.” She also just really wanted it. To honor her family. So that’s something, as I sit here in this interview, as I go out in the world, I always want to make my family proud. So it’s always something I keep in mind.

25. Do you have a favorite memory about The Rock from working on Moana with him?

“Dwayne Johnson is amazing.”

Dwayne Johnson is amazing. He’s so funny, he’s so nice. I really couldn’t have gotten luckier working with the cast of Moana, because they were all so professional but also so heartfelt. And, it being my first movie — my first job — it was really important, I felt, to work with kind individuals. So, I got to work with him while we were in Los Angeles on the press tour, and — you can watch the video on YouTube — Dwayne had spent weeks trying to learn my name. Auli’i — he got that down. But on my last name, Cravalho, I was like, “Oh yeah, my name’s Auli’i Craval-YO” and he was like, “Wait – Craval-HO” and I was like, “No, actually you can drop the HO, it’s a YO.” And it was hilarious, you can actually watch that. I don’t really let up on that and he takes it all in good sport.

26. What’s the last thing you searched for on Google?

The boroughs of New York. Because I don’t know all of the boroughs of New York just yet, and I’m trying to figure out where I should live.

27. What do you hope for in 2018?

I think actually a lot of my hopes, I’m currently seeing come to fruition. I am in an amazing show. I know that people are going to see it, so I’m very excited for that. I’m also really proud, on a personal level, of my generation. I’m proud that they’re speaking out, that they’re making a difference. And that’s MY generation. In 2018, I will be 18. And a lot changes. I’m looking forward to the elections — 2018 holds a lot for myself and for everyone who wants to see change.

Taylor Miller/BuzzFeed

Don’t miss Auli’i on Rise when it premieres tonight at 10 p.m. ET, and then airs every Tuesday at 9 p.m. ET on NBC.

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furederiko · 7 years

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I wanted to post this on an earlier date, but my internet has been acting up as usual. Anyway... here's the first Random-News-Digest of April!

Disney Live Action

Following Eva Green, Danny DeVito, and Colin Farrell, another actor has been courted (in talks, not officially cast) by Tim Burton to join his "Dumbo" adaptation. And just like DeVito, this time it's another "Batman" reunion in form of the Batman himself, Michael Keaton. I guess now we only need Michelle Pfeiffer to turn it into a full on unofficial reunion, huh?

Keaton, who will soon be seen showcasing his antagonistic persona as Spider-Man's villain in July, is said to be offered yet another antagonistic role for "Dumbo". Namely, "an asshole circus owner with a taste for exploiting elephants". Looks like, he might the one who will be playing Vandemere after all, and not Farrell as I've previously speculated. For now, there isn't any official announcement surrounding the movie, so we'll have to wait and see whether any of these actors would sign up or not.

As for "Mulan", looks like it will contain songs after all. Niki Caro talked to Cinema Blend, and stated that "The live-action is based on that inspirational Chinese ballad and on the animated Disney classic. We're still exploring the role that music's going to play in it, but for sure there will be music.". Caro cautioned though, that the project is "very much a fluid project" for the time being, so we won't be hearing any specific details about it soon. Especially because she's currently busy promoting "The Zookeeper's Wife". Her desire is to make sure that the culture of the movie and character will be reflected appropriately. Let's just hope that it will end up becoming a musical like "Beauty and the Beast", because well, if it's not, then I'll probably go back and re-watch the animated original instead. It just wouldn't feel the same without the iconic songs, right? It would just another Mulan adaptation, like those many others that have come before this. After all, one doesn't need a "Reflection" to know that, the animated version was already "A Girl Worth Fighting For"... ;D

Disney Animation

"Wreck-It Ralph" was a special animated movie for me, because it combined the magic of Disney with the charm of classic 8-bit video games. After his adventure with Vanellope von Schweetz ended in the first movie, it seems Wreck-It Ralph was poised for a happy ending. But he will soon be taking on something bigger than just the arcade where he lives in. That's because during CinemaCon, the House of Mouse officially announced that the sequel is now titled "Ralph Breaks the Internet: Wreck-It Ralph 2". The movie has also been given an official release date of March 9th, 2018. Which is less than a year away!

The 'Internet' bit shouldn't sound that much surprising, since the already revealed concept art has shown the two lead characters walking through spoofed names or icons of various popular websites and/or apps. The synopsis offically said, that Ralph, and possibly Vanellope will be lost in the Internet Data Space when a WiFi router gets plugged in. I think it's very likely that Ralph's game might end up becoming an app or some sort at the ending of this sequel. Perhaps even becoming a worldwide popular one. If that actually happens, don't forget, you've heard it here first, okay! LOL. John C. Reilly and Sarah Silverman are returning to voice Ralph and Vanellope, alongside Jane Lynch and Jack McBrayer who will be reprising their roles as Sergeant Calhount and her legal husband Fix-It Felix, Jr. Other confirmed cast include Jodi Benson, James Corden, Ana Ortiz, and also Alan Tudyk, with roles unknown for the time being. Tudyk used to play the antagonist in the first movie, but might be voicing a totally different character this time. Since he has become a regular voice actor for Disney Animation, taking part in all recent releases so far (even in form of a dumb rooster). I'm crossing my fingers that the sequel will be as fun and heartfelt, if not even better than the first.

Death Note

Hollywood's adaptation of "Ghost in the Shell" had unfortunately underperformed at the box office. Thanks to that, Paramount shifts the blame towards the critics for being more concerned about the movie's whitewashing controversy, rather than other aspects of the movie. To be honest though, while I haven't seen the movie myself, I've heard what the primary issue is all about. Admittedly, the way this version's story chose to tell the origin of the Major, felt more than just giving finger to the particular issue. It somehow didn't learn to avoid it, and instead ATTRACTED the exact criticism instead. In doing so, I doubt even Mamoru Oshii's approval could rescue the movie now.

Problem is, the same whitewashing issue has begun to migrate towards another title. This time, it's about adaptation for another Japanese story. You already know what category this is being talk about, so yes, it's "Death Note". In this case, because the main character Light Yagami has been renamed into Light Turner, and is played with a white actor in Nat Wolff. An adjustment the creators made, having the setting relocated to Seattle, Washington in this version.

If you ask me, this kind of criticsm is a bit bullish and exaggerated. A totally different situation to "Ghost in the Shell". I mean, like several horror movies like 'The Ring" or "The Grudge", stories like "Death Note" has more flexible ability to be told in a universal way. So forcing Asian American for the role doesn't sound justified, and felt more like a political agenda. If you look at it from business point of view, would the american adaptation work better if they use Asian-American actor as the lead? I don't think that's the case. Beside, it's more than just about Wolff, because apparently there are criticism aimed towards African-American actor Keith Stanfield, who will be portraying Light's foe, the elusive L. Those who are already familiar with the source material should understand that Light is the true 'bad guy', while L is in fact the 'good guy'. Now I can't help but wonder why Stanfield is even criticised for playing a protagonist, then. I mean, imagine a louder criticism should a white American fill that part instead. Should an Asian-American plays L as well? That would be selfish if you ask me, because once again, the character L is not bound for a certain race. Oh well, here's hoping "Death Note" will have a better luck than "Ghost in the Shell". Or those other adaptations for Japanese stories that Hollywood has attempted in the past. As I said, the two movies are a whole different scenario, and it wouldn't be fair to judge one using a similar parameter...

DC Films

Joss Whedon is writing and directing "Batgirl" for Warner Bros? The same guy who was previously turned down when he submitted a draft for "Wonder Woman"? WOW! Yup, that's the news that has been taking the world by storm since last week. Look at how the mighty (talking about WB of course) has fallen. Also, look at all those so-called 'devoted DC' fans who bashed Whedon for his critically and financially acclaimed "The Avengers". Who are now speechless to read that WB is now asking the help of the guy they hated the most. This heavily proved that WB is definitely course-correcting their DCEU or whatever it is you want to call it. It's even better news to know that they are humble enough to start looking outside of their studio's regulars. Key to creating something amazing, is by trusting it to the right person, not just someone who's available on their camp. Moreso, taking someone who used to work for their competitor, is a huge humble step as well. A sign of change. A smart one at that, due to Whedon's style of storytelling.

Eventhough it's said to be in final stages, deal is not set just yet. So things can still turn for the worse. I do however wish that the two sides will come into agreement. In fact, I think WB should just hire Whedon to be the creative consultant for the whole DCEU, and kick Zack Snyder, David Goyer, and others alongside their dark gritty tone far far away to oblivion. Forget "The Justice League", "Batgirl" is the movie everyone should be waiting for! The one that might inspired hope, optimism, and heroics, instead of angst and darkness. Now if they can get another great director for "Nightwing", I might just be really excited for the DC Films. Something I've been waiting to say for suuuuch a long time.

But Whedon's not the only one making news last week. James Wan and his lead actor Jason Momoa, as well as other cast and directors like Patty Jenkins took part on WB's presentation at CinemaCon on March 30th. And well, they've made some news about their respective movies. Wan delivered a reel of production art for "Aquaman", and succeeded in getting positive response from attendees. According to reports, Atlantis looked promising, and surrounded itself with massive sea creatures that was inline with a 'swashbuckling adventure' Wan had promised. This catapulted the movie to sit among Variety's top 5 Buzzmeter of the event. While her movie only made it real close to the same Top 10, Jenkins delivered new footage for "Wonder Woman" that received positive reaction from the same crowd too. Response for "The Justice League" footage might be the least positive of them all, as Variety even noted that the movie still felt "like a joyless affair" despite being filled with humor. No news surrounding "The Batman", and even Christopher Nolan refused to talk about it. LOL.

Does this mean "Aquaman" might be the surprise hit that WB and DC is waiting for? Will the tepid response for "The Justice League" translate into similar mediocre box office projection? We all need to remember, that movies like "Man of Steel" to "Suicide Squad" did get positive word of mouth during its production phase, but ultimately ended up as divisive if not totally disappointing affairs. My point is, it's safe to say, that when it comes to DC Films, nothing can be 100% certain. So I guess we'll just have to wait and see how these movies perform...

SONY Marvel Universe

You must be thinking, didn't I used the term "Spider-Man Universe" for this same category before? That's true, but starting with this one, I've officially changed it into "SONY Marvel Universe". Why? Because highly likely it won't even have a Spider-Man in it. So it would be wrong to call it so. And it's not just because Tom Holland's Spider-Man would be existing in an entirely separate universe, or that this one will not take place in that particular Marvel universe. But because SONY's specific universe might get a different rating as well. At the very least, "Venom" will not be a PG-13 movie, but an R-rated one.

I wonder if SONY is inspired by FOX and their R-rated superhero movies for this decision? I just hope that they are not getting the wrong message about FOX's success, though. I mean, sure, Venom has the potential for a gruesome and violent R-rated movie. But I also feel that the character would also work nicely in a PG-13 setting, and will obviously appeal to much bigger audience. So why bother going R-rated with one, right? Anyway, right now, Dante Harper of "Alien: Covenant" is writing the movie, and Avi Arad and Matt Tolmach are producing. The real challenge, is working with the character's origin story in a Spider-Man-less universe. After all, Venom practically copied most of its appearance and powersets from a Spider-Man, so a universe without the friendly neighbourhood spider would be odd. If SONY can nail that issue, then perhaps the movie's going to work...

Universal Monster Shared Universe

Universal has released the 2nd official trailer for "The Mummy". This one was... okay, I'll be honest, I haven't seen it yet. And it's intentional, because I already have enough curiousity for this movie, that I would definitely check it anyway. Mainly because of Russell Crowe though, because I'm completely eager to see him becoming Mr Hyde. According to Birth.Movies.Death, this trailer was confusing to understand. Which can be a good thing, because it's meant to catch people off guard. Anyway, the movie will arrive very soon, as the start of many other Monster movies to come. I won't be checking them all, but if Tom Cruise can somehow convince me with this first movie, I might end up seeing the rest as well. Hollywood do need a good and working Cinematic Universe after Marvel's, right?

Conjuring Shared Universe

Wait... WHAT? I just realized that the Annabelle movie, has been branded as part of "Conjuring Shared Universe"! I didn't even know that a horror franchise can have its own Shared Universe, nor that the studio has been planning for one. I mean, does it even make sense? LOL.

Putting that issue aside, the first official trailer for "Annabelle: Creation" has hit the internet. And well, since I thought the first movie was rather weak and poorly written, I'm not too keen on this one too. As the title suggests, this movie will serve as a prequel or some sort to that first movie. One which unfortunately, is completely fictionized, as Birth.Movies.Death has pointed out with their research. Which is too bad, because turning it into fiction was what caused the first movie to be... well, disappointing. I honestly thought a prequel would adapt the true origin story of the real life cursed-doll, but I guess the director David F. Sandberg, and producers were too scared to even attempt such thing.

But you know what? The 'Shared Universe' thing is real. Because there's another spin-off movie in the works right now. "The Nun" (though that's just a title I made up tentatively for the sake of this essay), is the next in the "Conjuring" line. Focusing on the creepy nun character from "The Conjuring 2", this movie sounds like a prequel or some sort as well. Corin Hardy is set to direct the movie, and actor Demián Bichir has been cast to play a Priest. A priest who is sent from Rome to investigate the mysterious death of a nun. Probably the same nun who became a ghost, or another nun who has seen the ghost nun, and got... Okay that's confusing. We'll likely hear more about this project, because it has a Summer 2018 release date. Who knows, perhaps in 2019, it will team up with Annabelle to take on a powerful titan from space...

Hasbro Universe

Oookay, I've completely forgotten that we're getting this... uhm, Universe as well. You know, the one that will pit Hasbro's toylin... I mean franchises into one giant cohesive world. So we'll be seeing the gang of "M.A.S.K." meeting up with the "Transformers", or "ROM the Space Knight" bumping heads against the "G.I. Joe" members. And all kinds of those crossovers. So far, we've only seen "Transformers" being turned into its own universe though, with the upcoming "Transformer: The Last Knight" and that Bumblebee movie. So I'm not sure when this bigger idea, or dream will even come to fruition.

But it might happen soon. Why? Simon Waters, in charge of consumer product for Hasbro Studios, said to L.A. Times that there's going to be "a much more contemporary approach to the whole franchise, and that will allow us to develop different characters". What franchise was he talking about? "G.I. Joe"! You know, the one that starred Channing Tatum in its first movie, before he was seemingly killed off and replaced by Dwayne Johnson in the sequel. Does this mean we're getting a reboot soon? Hmmm... Waters' words sounded like shallow waters. I mean, why not go ahead with the existing one by revamping the next movie to fit a larger universe? That would be more convenient and effective. But let's give this a benefit of doubt, because a reboot might prove to be... better. Possibly...

Marvel Studios

And we've finally arrived on the last movie category, but also the first (or at least the first successful one) Cinematic Universe that inspired it all. And when I say all, I mean the 5 categories above this, without including other existing ones being openly/secretly planned out there! *sigh*. For now, nothing beats the Marvel Cinematic Universe. And that's probably why it has a loaded of fresh news almost every week!

Let's start with "Spider-Man: Homecoming"! Embargo for set visit reports have been lifted, and that's why we've got plenty of new and in some way rather spoilery information about the movie. But before we go there, go ahead and check out the 2nd official trailer that concluded those triple-posters release last week. Uhm... then again, perhaps abort that thought, because while it looked more fantastic and action-packed than the first, this particular trailer seemed to have shown a little TOO MUCH and might ruin your movie experience instead. This one felt similar to the case of "Beauty and the Beast", which included its entire (or mostly anyway) plot in one chronological sizzle reel! Unless the entire thing was a clever ruse, this wasn't something that Marvel Studios is known to do. So I can only assume SONY's pulling the strings on this one. But trust me, if you haven't seen it, it would be better if you don't. Because you might be startled to see Robert Downey Jr.'s Iron Man's major significance in it. As if he's the secondary lead character of the movie, and not just a random tech provider!

Sure, if we look at it optimistically, that means "Homecoming" is deeply rooted as important part of the MCU. But that might be a problem too, because we're not really sure how long the agreement between Marvel Studios and SONY will last. Particularly, when SONY seems intent to build their own separate universe using the Spider-Man characters. SONY's CinemaCon presentation only added more doubts and concerns about this fan-pleasing collaboration. After announcing that a sequel is already in the works, and will be part of the MCU, producer Amy Pascal mentioned that the future of the wall-crawler remains 'uncertain' afterwards. This statement had a negative impact, as many sites immediately began reporting that Tom Holland's Spider-Man will depart the MCU after "Homecoming". A certain gossip site even claimed SONY's new boss Tom Rothman is not pleased about this deal, due to the extra cost of having Gwyneth Paltrow's return as Pepper Potts. Truth is, Pascal did NOT state it that way. So it's just another classic case of quick assumption and misinterpretation, right? And rest assured, as noted and reasoned by Forbes, Holland WILL remain a part of the MCU for at least 3 more films in the future. At least until 2020. This include direct solo sequels to "Homecoming" (the next one is set to be out in 2019), as well as appearances in a Marvel Studios-produced movie. In fact, his involvement in the currently filming "Avengers: Infinity War", is already an extension of the initial contract between both Studios.

Now on to the set visit reports and random interviews with the cast and crew then! Holland talked to MTV (via Metro), and confirmed what Marvel Studios President Kevin Feige had mentioned before. That his new Spider-Man movies will be using the 'Harry Potter approach'. In case you forget, or doesn't understand what that's supposed to be, it means when we see his Peter Parker in the 2019 sequel, he'll be just one year older in age, and a 2nd/3rd year student (depending on whether he's currently a freshman or sophomore) in high school. So by the time we get into his third solo movie, he'll be a graduating senior who's about to enter University. The same interview also revealed that Holland can't keep his mouth shout, as if the perfect embodiment of the character Peter Parker in real life.

And not just Holland, even director Jon Watts felt that he too, identified himself as similar to both Parker and Holland. Not in the sense of age, but with the pressure of proving himself in the big world of Marvel Studios. Talking to Variety, Watts admitted that like Parker who's never done anything big and want to prove himself to Stark, that's how he felt while sitting at the directorial chair. Watts was unafraid to show his earnestness on his inexperienced approach, which somehow transferred a similar vibe to the movie. Watts also revealed that he went through a long process of meetings before the folks at Marvel Studios decided to hire him. Owing that to his small movie "Cop Car", that made people turned their heads towards him. It so happens that he was also eager to make a coming-of-age movie as well. So the stars were certainly aligned for him. As for whether he will direct the sequel, he refused to say anything because he wanted to focus on finishing this movie first. However, as proven by fellow directors like James Gunn, the Russo brothers, and Scott Derrickson, if Watts nails "Homecoming", I'm perfectly certain that Marvel Studios and SONY will entrust the next one onto his hand again.

Also, speaking to Fandango after CinemaCon, Watts stated that fans can expect easter eggs about the MCU and Marvel Universe in general in "Homecoming". The license plate of one of the cars in the Ferry scene, is one good example for the small ground-level references we can discover in the movie. Watts confirmed several things as well. Department of Damage Control / DDC, the organization that has been developed as a TV series for quite some time now, will be debuting in the movie. It will play a major role towards the evolution of Michael Keaton's Adrian Toomes into the wrong side of law. Intriguingly, the organization is said to have existed since the aftermath of 2012's "The Avengers". Yes, 'The Battle of New York', or as the Netflix series tend to subtly address it as 'The Incident'! This fact would be depicted in the first few scenes of the film (as reported by Coming Soon, though please exercise caution because the report might be meddling in spoiler territory). "Homecoming" will then address the event in "Captain America: Civil War", as we see Parker and Stark's relationship slowly evolve into a mentor/big-brother figure. And likewise, whatever will happen in "Homecoming" will also bring its own ripple effects towards "Infinity War". Last but not least, Watts confirmed that "Homecoming" will have a post-credit scene, that might possibly link itself towards upcoming Marvel Studios movies. "How disappointing would it be if there was just nothing?", he said.

Michael Keaton talked to Collider, and reiterated about the event that caused Adrian Toomes' building resentment towards Stark. In his opinion, Watts' approach is 'interesting', because in a way his character works as "somewhat of a victim. He takes things in that he feels like a victim, and some of it is justified actually. He believes that there’s an upper echelon of society of people who are getting away with a lot and have everything. And there’s a whole lot of folks who are working hard, and don’t have much". A fact that Keaton likened to the current political climate of America, as well as something personal for himself. He also confirmed Watts' previous statement that Vulture will be an average-joe antagonist, but also added one crucial fact: that Toomes is a father. Perhaps the few Marvel Studios' antagonist with a child on his own (it was hinted that Kaecillius of "Doctor Strange" also had a family), which adds a more sympathetic touch to him. But more than that, Toomes has a loyal crew, particularly Michael Chernus' The Tinkerer, who sounds like will have the potential to show up again in future installments. Who knows, perhaps Marvel Studios is slowly setting up a Sinister Six movie with Vulture, Shocker, and other possible future antagonists? That's certainly a possibility we can't simply dismiss.

Producer Eric Hauserman Carroll added more information about the movie. Speaking to Slash Film, Carroll revealed that the new suit that Stark created specifically for Parker, will have its own unique features. It would naturally contain more gadgets than any other version of Spider-Man suits that has appeared on the big screen, including an A.I. like JARVIS or FRIDAY. The suit will also enable different kind of webbings. Carroll said that there are spinning web, web ball, ricochet, and other stuffs that Stark built into Parker's arsenal, and most of it was done practically. To Coming Soon, Carroll said that Parker will be forced to adjust the glamour life of being part of the Avengers for a very limited time, to then return to a cold crowded daily life of being an outcast. It's a stark contrast of worlds that would help him grow as a singular hero, but also as part of a team, in regards to his connection with Stark. Last but not least, Carrol admitted to Screen Rant (via MCUExchange) that while he would've loved to see Spider-Man interacting with other New York heroes, namely the Netflix's Defenders, fans shouldn't expect them to be referenced in this movie.

For more information from the set visits, like the whereabout of Uncle Ben, Parker's love interest, or the movie's diversity among others (which might spoil the plot, mind you), B.M.D. has kindly put together a quick round-up for our convenience. The site has gathered bits from many sites like IGN, io9, Nerdist, Bustle, Screen Crush, and Slash Film. Go ahead and check out their page directly! You can also start looking for official merchandise for the movie that are starting to hit the market.

...Phewww... that ended up longer than expected!

Let's head on to other movies now. Disney held a presentation at CinemaCon, and among its lineup of information for upcoming movies, confirmed a rather old fan speculation that originated from Variety's report. At that time, actress Letitia Wright was only rumored to be playing T'Challa's half-sister Shuri in the upcoming "Black Panther". Turns out, that's indeed the case, as you can see from the official photo of the main cast.

As has been reported before, Actor Jeremy Renner and Elizabeth Olsen have officially joined the production for "Infinity War" starting this month. Olsen was seen arriving at Edinburgh, Scotland to join Paul Bettany and others. This confirmed that the previous candid scene that was thought to be Scarlett Johansson's Black Widow or her stunt double, might actually be Olsen's Wanda Maximoff after all. This scene got more interesting, because it's clear Scarlet Witch was fighting a staff-wielding mo-cap antagonist, which seemingly attacked Bettany's Vision before. Remember, the staff-wielding CG antagonist might very well be members of the Black Order, like Proxima Midnight or Corvus Glaive. This means that the two Avengers might be taking on the Black Order, instead of fighting one another like in "Civil War". Meanwhile, Renner has arrived in Atlanta, seemingly to join the production that's currently going on in the city as well. The production staff will then move to New York City starting in May.

Guess I better start changing how I write the title because it's officially "Ant-Man & The Wasp". Yes, with an ampersand logogram (check Wikipedia if you don't get what that is). The movie's logo could be seen through a release schedule that Disney presented during CinemaCon. It's the same presentation that revealed Letitia Wright's secret role, as well as title for "Wreck-It Ralph" sequel. Thanks to being absent on "Mission: Impossible 6", Jeremy Renner has now been rumored to be involved in this movie. Considering his Clint Barton's relationship with Paul Rudd's Scott Lang, and the fact that they are both everyday non-superpowered fathers, having him be the third wheel alongside Evangeline Lily's Hope van Dyne DOES make sense if not perfect match. However, it's worth noted that the source of this news, ShowBiz411 could have worded his report by mistake. I mean, perhaps what he meant was "Infinity War" and the UNTITLED 2019 Avengers movie, but wrote "Ant-Man and the Wasp" for the latter instead.

"Thor: Ragnarok"!!! Ah, yes, a quick footage from the movie was showcased during CinemaCon. It showed Chris Hemsworth's Thor Odinson battling together with Mark Rufallo's Hulk against Sakaar's gladiators. Oddly, it's not getting as much buzz as many have predicted. Possibly because Disney delivered a rather weak presentation in the event, to which I assume was intentional as they would likely opt to bring more firepower to its D23 event later this year. What did get bigger buzz however, was a rumor that the first trailer for the movie would be aired alongside the new episode for Marvel's "Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D." earlier this week. This, clearly did NOT happen (otherwise I'd be talking about it). Considering the date of the source, it's more likely to be an April Fools prank from the very beginning. Of course, April does work as a perfect timing to drop trailer for a November movie. Both "Doctor Strange" and "Thor: The Dark World" had their first trailers released in April. I'm guessing it will arrive alongside the worldwide premiere of "Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2" that will take place in the next weeks. International countries are premiering the movie this very month and not May like in North America!

And we've arrived on the last item of this category. As I said before, "Vol 2" is arriving very soon. But I rarely talk about it recently. What happened? Simple. I've been avoiding any news about it to keep my anticipation in tact. That's why. And you know what? That's probably the wisest move. The moment I stumbled into one of its report, I might have accidentally spoiled myself in advance. BUMMER! Since I've probably had been spoiled, let me spoil others too. So heed this warning, if you're avoiding spoilers, then just casually skip ahead to the next category. Last warning. Still here? Okay, let's continue then...

This time, it's regarding Sylvester Stallone's secret role in the movie. Yes, he walked out of "The Expendables 4", but that's not what I'm going to talk about. Director James Gunn has previously revealed, that Stallone and his friend, actor Michael Rosenbaum, are playing important characters in the MCU. A major Cosmic character, he said. Well, according to an Italian movie site MoviesBook.it (via MCUExchange), Stallone is in fact playing a character by the name Stakar. There's only one Stakar in the Marvel comics, and he goes by the name Stakar Ogord. If that name is still unfamiliar to you as well, then guess what name he is more popularly known as? StarHawk! StarHawk is a member of the original Guardians of the Galaxy comics that was set in the 31st century. His fellow team members are Vance Astro, Charlie-27, Nikki Gold, Martinex, and *drumrolls* Yondu Udonta! Gunn has never been shy from saying that StarHawk is his favorite character, and have always wanted to include him in the sequel. In fact, Kurt Russel was previously rumored to be playing StarHawk, though that has been proven wrong now. So the likelihood of him casting a big star like Stallone as his favorite character, makes perfect sense. As MCUExchange noted, there's a possibility of Rosenbaum portraying Gunn's version of Martinex T'Naga, and Sharon Stone playing Nikki Gold. With a working title suspiciously titled 'Guardians 3000', and that Quill will be needing assistance from 'fan-favorite characters from the classic comics, things suddenly makes sense and comes full circle. Beside, with Gunn already revealing Ego as Quill's father, surely there are other surprises he has installed in the movie, right? For now, this is still purely rumor and speculation, but if it does come true, then we might be seeing two sets of Guardians of the Galaxy in the movie. And that's going to be a blast...

Marvel TV

The first synopsis for Marvel's "The Inhumans" have been unveiled, and to many fans, it sounds rather concerning. Why? Go ahead and read it for yourself: "After the Royal Family of Inhumans is splintered by a military coup, they barely escape to Hawaii where their surprising interactions with the lush world and humanity around them may prove to not only save them, but Earth itself.".

What's the problem with that, you wonder? The core problem is, the show likely won't be taking place in Attilan, which was what many fans have anticipated. The concern also comes on the heels of the critical failure of one Marvel's "Iron Fist", a show that shares the exact same showrunner in Scott Buck. While it does resemble the plot of the first "Thor" movie, the same fish-out-of-water story was also used in "Iron Fist". As in, a show that chose to abandon K'un-L'un and its vast mystical lore, and instead focus on the corporate happenings in... New York. Change the setting into Hawaii, and have Black Bolt and the other Royal families in the run, and you've got yourself the exact same situation. I personally think it's disappointing to have a full-on Inhumans show taking place on Earth. The Royal Family belongs in Attilan, a fictional city that needs to be explored into details. Just like the Guardians in their far away cosmic adventure, or Thor in his Asgardian Nine-Realms, kicking the Inhumans Royal Family out of their native home already sounds like a HUGE mistake. We don't need that kind of plot, leave that to when a crossover is needed. We need a "Game of Thrones"-esque twist that takes place in Attilan, among the Inhumans. Take cue from "Emerald City" that spend only the first and last episode on Earth. I'll still give this show the benefit of doubt just to be fair, but to be completely honest, my interest level has fallen significantly low now. This already sounds like such a waste of potentials! Let's hope it won't vanish into thin air when the show eventually arrive.

Marvel's "Cloak and Dagger" is set to premiere in Winter 2018 on the Freeform network. We now have additional information about this series, that it's going to be a 10-episodes series. I think this is a good amount, considering the series will be required to have special effects in portraying Tandy and Tyrone's super powers. Cutting the episodes, means more budget can be allocated for VFX. "Legion" and "Emerald City" are good example of this, as they succeeded in delivering the exact visuals needed for their story. So fans can rest easier, because at the very least, the embarassing case of 'replace Shou-Lau the Undying with two red light bulbs, just because the studio don't have money for CG' (that brought a certain degree of anger among the fanbase), is highly unlikely to happen again. At least not in this show. Seriously, I hope Netflix starts to realize this critical and crucial flaw right away. As for the plot, it has also been confirmed that it will focus on character and emotion, because "It tells of a romance between Tandy and Tyrone in a way that we haven’t really seen before in a Marvel TV series". So that's what differentiate this Freeform show, from the other ones, right?

What other one? Yep, let me make it clear. 'This Freeform show' wasn't referring as singular. Because surprise, surprise, turns out "Cloak and Dagger" won't be the only new show debuting on Freeform. Marvel's "New Warriors" has been greenlit for the same network as well! Kevin Biegel is closing a deal to write and serve as showrunner for Marvel TV's first scripted sitcom. This 10-episodes 30-minutes show will serve as a vehicle to bring one famous Marvel comics character into her first live action adaptations. Doreen Green, or more familarly known as Squirrel Girl! Apparently, Freeform "had chased Squirrel Girl before Cloak and Dagger", because "We are a network for young adults but we're proud we're No. 1 with young women and we want to find characters who speak to them. There's a reason we chased Squirrel Girl: she embodies all of that". But apparently Marvel made them wait before giving the clearance. Looks like Marvel finally gave in.

And Doreen won't be alone. New Warriors consists of other young people with special abilities. As noted by The Hollywood Reporter, "New Warriors revolves around six young people with powers living and working together. With powers and abilities on the opposite end of the spectrum of The Avengers, the New Warriors want to make a difference in the world...even if the world isn't ready. With Freeform focused on a group dubbed 'becomers' — those experiencing a series of firsts in life, including first loves and first jobs — New Warriors explores the journey into adulthood, except in this world, they're not quite super and not yet heroes and the guys can be as terrifying as bad dates. The series will feature Marvel fan-favorite Squirrel Girl (aka Doreen Green) as a totally empowering fan girl who is described as tough, optimistic and a natural leader. Doreen is confident and has the powers of a squirrel: she's acrobatic, can fight and talk to other squirrels. Her most important trait is said to be her faith in people and ability to teach them to believe in themselves.". If you're clueless about them, fear not because neither do I. Thankfully, THR has kindly posted a quick article describing who these folks are. It's a convenient read to those who are too lazy/busy to skim through Wikipedia. For the time being however, Freeform is keeping a tight lip in regards of which characters comprising the New Warriors of this show. THR cautioned that the team might not be the same to the comic's version, especially considering Squirrel Girl herself has never been part of it! In fact, this could be an adaptation of the Great Lakes Avengers instead, particularly due to the similarity of the storyline.

I have to admit, I'm feeling a bit mixed about "New Warriors". Why? Because part of me expect Squirrel Girl to show up in a Marvel Studios movie instead. That way, she can be played by an A-list actress (like the loveable Anna Kendrick, for example?), and interact with the Avengers or Spider-Man characters. Not to mention the VFX needed to showcase her power... though it practically only required numerous trained squirrels, really. But the fact that it's a 30-minute of "balls-out comedy" might be the main, if not sole reason that I MIGHT actually see it. The reason? Only 5 episodes in, and I'm already tired of all those teenage angst and drama in "Riverdale". It's too cheesy and exhausting for my adult mind/heart. LOL. With both "Cloak and Dagger" and Marvel's "Runaways" already sounding like an incarnation of that CW series (particularly the latter), it's more than clear than I'll be skipping both no matter how much I've pledged allegiance to Marvel. Comedy on the other hand? That might be right up on my alley. Beside, getting older means you need more laughters to vent away all those extra stress and hardships... XD

One last thing before we move on to the next category. Aaron Sorkin, an Academy and Golden Globe Award winning writer, has apparently been meeting with Marvel and DC for a potential collaboration with either Studios. Sorkin revealed this during CinemaCon. He admitted however, that he's not familiar with comic books, but hopes that there's a comic book character that he's going to love and would want to work on. Since Sorkin's work spanned from TV like "The West Wing" to movies like "The Social Network", this talk could go anywhere, which is why I'm putting it on the TV category instead. I'm not personally familiar of his works, and also his style, but I would love to see a guy as prestigious as him tackling a movie among Marvel's Phase 4. Perhaps, a Moon Knight will be nice? But nothing is certain for now, because he clearly needs to spend some private time to do some personal research first. So I guess we'll just have to wait and find out sooner or later, right?

Netflix

This is not a drill, or an April Fools prank (time for that haD passed anyways)... but a new teaser for the highly anticipated Marvel's "The Defenders" has been released online. But don't be surprised, if it's... well, short and looking odd. After all, it's just a shot of Charlie Cox's Matt Murdock (who is back to wearing his Season 1 head cover again while hillariously donning a business suit), Krysten Ritter's Jessica Jones, Mike Colter's Luke Cage, and Finn Jones' Danny Rand riding down through an elevator together. That's it!

Of course, the main purpose for this quick teaser, was none other than to announce the mini series' official release date. Yes, Netflix has set the mini-series for an August 18th, 2017 premiere. Considering production has wrapped last month, this obviously make a lot of sense. Especially putting into account that the premiere date is more than 1 month after "Homecoming" hits the market. Not just that, an exclusive debut to be showcased during this year's San Diego Comic Con and Disney D23, now sounds highly likely too.

Cox was invited by Boogaloo Radio to talk about his projects just a day before this teaser hit the internet, and he opened up about many things, including details surrounding this mini-series. Turns out, the consequent production for the first two Seasons for Marvel's "Daredevil" sort of worn him out, but since "The Defenders" has four leads, he got more time off when the storyline does not require the presence of his character. Not to mention, stunt double can take over his place during action scenes because he's "the only one that has a mask". That's a statement that easily provoked further disappointment of fans who have been expecting to see Danny Rand following suit with his iconic costume. Is Netflix really embarassed about Iron Fist's costume? Cox revealed that a new stunt team was brought specifically for this show, and confirmed that Drew Goddard is indeed involved as a consultant, aside from writing 1 or 2 episodes. As for a crossover with the movie side's Avengers, Cox only said that the future is still very much open for it to happen.

One important tidbit that he revealed during the talk, was that he will begin filming the 3rd Season for "Daredevil" later this year! This shouldn't be a surprise, since the new season was already announced July last year. This practically confirmed that it will arrive next year. Possibly following the 2nd season of Marvel's "Jessica Jones", which had just started production earlier this week, and before the 2nd season of Marvel's "Luke Cage". Unless... Netflix decides to push Jon Bernthal's Marvel's "The Punisher" back from Fall 2017 to be the first title in 2018, which technically shifts everything else behind.

As for "Jessica Jones", it's still unclear what kind of storyline it will take on, nor what antagonist she will face since Kilgrave has been killed. Perhaps, the mysterious character that Janet McTeer will be playing? One thing for sure, actor Wil Traval has seemingly hinted his return as Will Simpson, a.k.a Rachael Taylor's Trish crazy boyfriend Nuke. So the mystery behind his super enhanced drugs will at least serve as one of the arc of the season. Meanwhile, production is still going deep for "The Punisher", as Bernthal was recently seen with a beaten up make up, alongside a mysterious man that might be Ebon Moss-Bachrach's Micro. As I said above, the initial plan was to have his series arriving as the third Marvel-Netflix show this year. But looking at the release window, the show only has an opening on October or December to avoid bumping into "Thor: Ragnarok". I won't be surprised if it gets pushed to 2018, possibly on January or February. As evidenced by "Voltron Legendary Defender", this practice does sound highly probable for a streaming site like Netflix.

And... speaking of Voltron, a 3rd season was announced during the WonderCon panel last Saturday. Showrunners and some of the voice cast were in attendance, and they revealed that a 3rd season will arrive later this year. The next antagonist is said to be Prince Lotor, as confirmed by Nerdist. I haven't personally finished the 2nd season, using 'savoring the series' as an easy excuse (though I simply didn't have time to bingewatch it, really). So reading that news on Nerdist had sort of spoiled its sad ending. Which was what I've been trying to avoid all these time *sigh*. Regardless of that, it's a great news nonetheless. We need more Voltron anyways, it's a great show...

The Telltale Series

After completing their take on DC's Batman, the Telltale Games' next project has been making a huge buzz ever since it was announced. Why? Because it's Marvel's freaking "Guardians of the Galaxy". Inline with the imminent release of the team's second live action movie, of course people are excited for this too. The company has released the game's first trailer last week, while announcing that the first episode, entitled "Episode One: Tangled Up in Blue" will be available on April 18. Which is just a week before "Vol 2" is released in international markets, and two weeks before it hits North America.

I don't know about you, but for some reason, I'm... NOT feeling this. And this is coming from someone who's actually looking forward to it. Perhaps it's the... weird character design that rubbed me the wrong way? Or the fact that the 'brand new' story will once again deal with "an artifact of unspeakable power"? All I can say is, if the first of five episode already made me doubt it, then it's saying much. But don't let that get you down, because who knows, this could end up becoming unexpectedly charming like the movie, instead of the TV series that sadly grew dull the more I see it.

The game will feature the voice cast of Scott Porter as Star-Lord, Emily O’Brien as Gamora, Nolan North as Rocket, Brandon Paul Eells as Drax, and Adam Harrington as Groot. First episode will arrive on PS4, Xbox One, PC, Mac, iOS and Android for $4.99, while a Season Pass Disc that will grant access for all episodes will be available on May 2 for $29.99. If you're both a Marvel and Telltale Series fan, this might be just what you're looking for.

Final Fantasy XV

First DLC episode for "Final Fantasy XV" that featured Gladiolus as the lead has been released. And well, turns out it wasn't as interesting as many has hoped. While it's fun to actually play Gladio and explore his own unique set of skill, the gameplay of the episode itself was said to be redundant and the story was practically non existent. The reward of the mini quest was not that worthwhile either, and would likely be more pleasing for those who are consider themselves 'devoted' to the character. Suffice to say, the five dollars DLC serve as a fan-service side mission, and nothing else. That might also be the reason why it arrived alongside the fix for that infamous Chapter 13.

Perhaps, the game will fare better with its mobile spin-off then? "Final Fantasy XV: A New Empire", which was developed by Machine Zone's Epic Action has been made available via the App Store. At least... in New Zealand. In this app, fans will be able to explore more of the lore of main game, but presumably in an alternate universe setting. After all, the premise is said to be "Journey through vast kingdoms, gather magical resources, and build the strongest Empire in Final Fantasy history! Build your own kingdom, discover powerful magic, and dominate the realm alongside all of your friends!". As far as I know, this does NOT happen in the main game. So unless it's taking place in the afterlife, it's nothing but a huge what-if scenario. Do go ahead and visit Epic Action's official site to check whether my deduction is correct or not. Will this app be more successful than the main game's DLC then? That remains to be seen. Let's just hope the best for the franchise, shall we...

Nintendo

"Super Mario Run" is Nintendo's first foray into the mobile gaming market. And although the app has attracted attention, apparently, it wasn't as well received as the company have hoped. They have even stated this openly, which was reported through Asia Nikkei. Interestingly, fans aren't surprised with this result, because the pricing and lack of gameplay are more than enough to justify such lack of interest. Problem is, they aren't changing their premium-priced approach any time soon. Turns out, the mobile market has always been a secondary field compared to their traditional console based sales. Especially with Nintendo Switch just celebrating its first month. These mobile games are present only to expand brand awareness, and it will continue that way for their next projects.

You know what? If they can find a way to integrate apps like "Super Mario Run", the financially better "Fire Emblem Heroes", and the not-so-hit-anymore but still-popular "Pokemon GO" into Switch, I'm certain the company will see a positive increase of interest for all those things. This shouldn't be a problem, since Switch is already serving as a portable gadget, akin to a Smartphone. Just think about it, the ability to play exclusive Nintendo apps for free on the Switch will undoubtedly boost the hybrid console's sale, while at the same time generating more users to their apps. Come on Nintendo, just do it. This here is wise strategy! Methinks... LOL.

The King of Fighters

That leak has been confirmed! Rock Howard, the son of Geese Howard and disciple of Terry Bogard has debuted in the "KOF" franchise. And if the official trailer is any indication, then he's going to be inhibiting strong traits from those two characters, which is obviously the major element that made him a standout.

Rock, as well as previously announced returning characters Vanessa, Ryuji Yamazaki, and Whip, have been made available through "The King of Fighters XIV" version 2.00 update that was launched several days ago. Said update will include free new stages ("Transcontinental Railroad" and "City Circuit", which you can check out through its own trailer), balance adjustments for existing characters, action record and playback feature in Training Mode, new BGM, bug fixes, and other improvements. In case you forget, the update is free, but the characters are paid DLCs. Each can be purchased for a $5.99 USD, or as a set for a price of $19.99. Head on to SNK-Corp for more details on this huge update.

Do you think SNK will continue to explore this game, and add even more returning characters in the coming months? Unless they will be moving along to "The King of Fighters XV", this certainly sounds like a possibility. After all, why would they release all 4 characters together when they can easily churn them out one by one every other month. You know, like what CAPCOM is doing with "Street Fighter V". That would've stretched the title for close to 6 months more of software's longetivity, right? At least, adding two more characters, to form two new official Teams with these released four would make a lot of sense. Perhaps both from the "GAROU: Mark of Wolves" franchise, to become Rock's team mates? Of course, that's just my personal wishful thinking, and we'll have to wait and see what move the company will do next to keep the hype high. For now, be thankful that you can enjoy a fun sparring between Rock and his mentor Terry in a "KOF" series now. Which is something that was only possible through the "GAROU" series before...

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