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iwa1zumis · 3 years

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“i love you and i like you”: passion and burnout in Haikyuu!!

tw: discussions of self harm, anxiety, burnout and breakdowns.

spoilers for the whole manga!!

okay this is probably gnna be jflkafjdklfj all over the place, but i’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difference between loving and liking something, and how haikyuu emphasises the importance of both those feelings being present when pursuing a passion.

a quick look at google (and i KNOW my college professors are cringing away in horror victor frankenstein-style @ my use of google definitions but jflajfsdk bear with me!!) demonstrates how often the concepts of love and like are conflated, with love her being framed as a sort of deeper or more intense like: “to like or enjoy very much” to be specific. but personally i’ve always thought there’s something a bit misleading about that kind of definition, since its absolutely possible to love something or someone without necessarily liking them. to take a personal example: i love debate. i debated through middle and high school, made captain of the debate team, and was constantly travelling to and fro for different tournaments. even before i started to debate formally i’d jump at the chance to do mini-debates in class, argue with and rebut parents and friends over meals and causal conversation.... you get the idea. i loved debate, and still love it dearly, but i honestly don’t think i particularly liked it much. tournaments would always fill me with the most INSANE kind of stress, i’d barely eat or sleep in the days leading up to a meet, and i’ve had more muffled bathroom breakdowns in between rebuttals than i can count. after my final year of high school, i decided against joining the debate at university. i knew that if i were to retain ANY love for the activity going into the future, i had to force myself to take a break.

so what does this solipsistic tangent have to do with haikyuu, you ask? well i have no doubt that a vast majority of the players in the series love volleyball. they’re dedicated and passionate about it. they hunger for the chance to be put on the court. but do they like to play?

1. oikawa: “i forgot that volleyball can be fun”

ofc i wouldn’t be an oikawa stan worth my salt if i didn’t start this off with the (grand) king himself!! imo one of the reasons why oikawa is such a popular and well-loved character is his constant determination to keep moving forward and playing, even in the face of seemingly insurmountable opponents and adversities (”never forget my worthless pride”, anyone?). inevitably, all the hard work and practise he put into his craft has left him with a very carefully constructed, put together playstyle-- he’s the kind of player who knows how to bring the best out of each and every teammate on the court because of the amount of time he spends observing them and playing with them. it’s an outlook and playstyle best encapsulated in his now iconic line during the second karasuno v seijoh match:

“Talent is something you make bloom, instinct is something you polish!”

in my opinion the word “polish” it super significant here-- it explicitly singles out the years and years of hard work that set a foundation for his talent and instinct to shine.

but what happens when they don’t shine? there’s no denying that oikawa is an incredibly skilled and intuitive player (something that hinata’s acknowledgment of him as the “great king” to kageyama’s “king” immediately sets out) but oikawa himself is acutely aware of the fact that he can never quite measure up to his long-time rival ushijima or his immensely talented protege kageyama. oikawa’s self described strategy to deal with opponents is to:

“Hit it until it breaks”

but what happens when hitting something again and again with your carefully honed, “polished” skills yields no results? imo there’s a very clear binary mentality drawn here-- either you hit it and it breaks, asserting your superiority; or you hit it and it doesn’t break, enforcing your inferiority. with each perceived loss against ushijima and kageyama, oikawa’s internalized logic holds his own weakness up to his own face, shaking his faith in himself as a player. if you’ll pardon the on-the-nose-metaphor: the whole “hitting it till it breaks” strategy is a two-way street, and oikawa has been hitting himself, metaphorically speaking, for a very long time. i have no doubt that he loved volleyball, passionately, through middle and high school. but with his inferiority complex growing in the face of constantly refuted results, i think he slowly began to like it less and less.

so how does oikawa get his groove back? to answer that, we’ll have to turn to the post-timeskip chapters, particularly the two chapters that deal with oikawa and hinata’s unexpected meeting in Rio (372 and 373 for anyone curious!). while reminiscing with hinata over dinner, oikawa finally reveals the event that made him want to play volleyball (as a setter, to be exact)-- as a child, he watched veteran setter jose blanco step into a game and

“... inconspicuously help[ed] the ace get his bearings again... and then simply left the court.”

oikawa’s reaction to blanco’s playstyle might just be one of my favourite panels in the chapter for how it conveys so much with such little space:

the stammer of “i-i--”, which suggests a sense of resolve and determination forming in real time, finally coalesces into the determined declaration of “i wanna be a setter too!” what i took from this is that oikawa’s admiration for-- and liking of-- blanco expresses itself in the agency with which he makes his choice, in this case, actively deciding to be a setter so that he can support players on the court like blanco did. the liking that oikawa has here is therefore inherently linked to the agency and freedom he feels here-- freedom to choose his position, and how he wants his volleyball career to develop.

this recollection of his childhood memories, and the subsequent game of beach volleyball that oikawa and hinata play afterwards, essentially push oikawa back into the mental and physical space of a child or beginner, as the manga demonstrates with panels of oikawa being forced to ditch his usual carefully developed, polished playstyle to learn the ropes of beach volleyball:

ultimately concluding with the beautiful panel transition of oikawa, as a child AND adult, celebrating after a successful play:

“It reminds me that-- I forgot that-- volleyball is fun.”

in a different country, playing a familiar game by slightly different rules and led back into the mentality and freedom of a novice after years of careful development, oikawa rediscovers his liking for the game.

2. kageyama: “when you get strong, someone stronger will rise to meet you”

moving on to the king of the court himself!! i’d argue that kageyama’s childhood memories and experiences of volleyball function almost oppositely to oikawa’s-- while oikawa has to re-access the sensation of being a beginner again to like the game along with loving it, kageyama’s process of coming to like and love volleyball come from moving away from his early experiences and into a new phase of playing-- specifically, his partnership with hinata.

one of kageyama’s defining features is his individualism-- he’s both skilled and solitary enough to prefer to, as he puts it, “play every single position on the court”. notably, he wants to become a setter because:

“[it’s] the one that touches the ball the most.”

in fact, i’d argue that kageyama’s “king of the court” attitude that he was known for in middle school is an extension of this individualistic mindset: he holds himself to extremely high standards, and expects his team-mates (as extensions of himself) to meet those very same standards. the similarities between his internal monologue and his commands to kindaichi in these two panels, for example, are strikingly, visibly similar:

there’s that near-identical intonation of “move faster, jump higher!” that implies that the way he treats his teammates is just an extension of how he treats himself-- a deeply self-critical, miserable way, as it turns out. it’s telling that for the first few chapters of a manga in which characters’ eyes literally light up when they’re happy, passionate or excited, kageyama’s eyes are drawn as pitch black, even while he’s playing.

imo the reason why hinata’s appearance, and their later partnership, is so significant for kageyama’s personal development is because he can’t treat hinata like an extension of himself. hinata challenges him and his preconcieved notions of the sport at every turn: first with his lightning-fast reflexes and raw intuition, and then with his determination to hit kageyama’s toss no matter what. in fact, the first time that kageyama’s eyes light up in the manga is, you guessed it, when he and hinata first pull off a successful “freak quick”:

during the post-timeskip chapters we’re introduced to kageyama’s backstory in much greater detail: the way in which his grandfather fostered his passion for volleyball and the timing with which his grandfather’s illness and later death left kageyama increasingly alienated, thus further enforcing his individualist mentality. but what the chapter also gave us was an explicit confirmation of a theme that had been built up from the very beginning of the story, when kageyama’s grandfather tells him:

“when you get really strong, i promise someone stronger will rise to meet you”

i’ve seen translations of the line that use both “meet” and “challenge”, and personally i’d have to say that i prefer “challenge” for what it implies-- even before hinata got strong enough to actually meet kageyama halfway he challenged him to move away from his pre-established mindset of doing everything himself, and into one where he actually comes to enjoy-- and like-- volleyball.

3. hirugami: “maybe you’ve just had your fill”

hirugami’s case is kind of a strange one-- unlike oikawa and kageyama he’s not a major character, and his relationship with volleyball only gets a single backstory chapter as opposed to a series-long arc. but i personally ADORE his mini-arc for the things it has to say about burnout, passion and moving on.

hirugami is introduced as the youngest member of a volleyball family-- his parents, older brother and older sister all play the sport. when explaining how he began to play himself, hirugami says:

“... naturally, i started to play too. because i was good at it, and it was fun.”

imo there are a lot of really interesting things to pick apart with this phrasing: the “naturally” implies a foregone conclusion but also a degree of passivity, like he himself recognises that he was swept up in his family’s influence. the “it was fun” coming AFTER “because i was good for it” also implies a degree of correlation, as though if he didn’t have the aptitude, he wouldn’t enjoy the game (a mindset markedly different to both oikawa and kageyama). as hirugami gets older, this correlation of being good ----> having fun ----> being able to play begins to reverse, and therefore manifest in increasingly self destructive ways:

the main impetus for hirugami has now become not wanting to lose, which therefore requires a degree of heightened practise and self discipline in order to achieve. notably, having fun has been reduced to an afterthought, a state that might be achieved if he wins.

the correlation of “winning” and “being good” is a slipperly slope to go down, though, something that becomes especially apparent after hirugami’s team lose a game. the frustration of being unable to reach his goal of winning manifests itself as not being “good enough”-- acting on this, hirugami seeks to punish himself for “messing up”:

the close up panel of hirugami’s “confession” after hoshiumi confronts him hits particularly hard because it taps into a feeling that i’m sure almost all of us have felt at one point or another-- the realisation that something you once both loved AND liked is now only bringing you misery:

ironically, it’s actually this acknowledgement of “not really liking volleyball that much” that acts as a catalyst for hirugami’s recovery from burnout. hoshiumi’s acknowledgement of, and reply to, hirugami’s state is seemingly simple but deeply freeing:

and honestly, why not just quit? there’s nothing tethering hirugami to volleyball, certainly nothing as serious as life or death. personally my favourite part of this panel is hoshiumi’s description of volleyball as food from which hoshiumi has “eaten his fill”-- a lovely metaphor that re-contextualizes what could be seen as “time wasted” into something productive and indeed nourishing.

when we check up on hirugami post time-skip, we find out that he has indeed quit playing volleyball in favour of going to veterinary school, but he’s seen watching the game between the jackals and adlers on his phone with an eager, fond smile on his face, implying that it was the act of moving away from the table (so to speak) after eating his fill that let him still hold on to a love and passion for the game, even though he is now interacting with it as a spectator instead of a player. and indeed that might just be why i love hirugami’s arc so much-- with it, haikyuu tells us that sometimes passion’s don’t need to be re-ignited in the same way. while oikawa and kageyama rediscover their love for, and liking of, the game through a return to childhood and the arrival of a new partner respectively, hirugami’s journey away from burnout comes from recognizing that he can step away from the volleyball court, and that the love and like will still remain.

#ari.txt #meta #hq!! meta #haikyuu meta #hq!!#haikyuu #haikyuu!!#oikawa tooru #kageyama tobio #hirugami sachirou #me pointing @ myself: it's her officer! she's the one using her english lit degree to write 3k word long metas on sports anime!!#anyways jflafjsdlk this was an absolute blast to write!! and i'd LOVE to know what you guys think about it: do you agree? disagree?#please do let me know!! :>#long post

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deanwasalwaysbi · 3 years

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If No Angels Then Why Mystery Spot?

This has never stopped bothering me Gabriel fucking with Sam - bothering him until he is convinced to go along with Dean’s death, convinced into going along with the apocalypse? Makes narrative sense for a cohesive story.

Except the concept of Gabriel didn’t exist for the show yet. The concepts of the apocalypse and angels didn’t exist yet in universe for for the show behind the scenes. These concepts weren’t introduced until the writers strike forced the show to adapt and Gamble convinced Kripke they could add angels by saying they would be dicks. [eyeroll at Kripke]

So what possible reason did the Tricksters have for mystery spot? Originally? In text? “Chaotic neutral” or “chaos” or Loki - fine, I guess Except he wasn’t - he says he was trying to ‘teach Sam a lesson’ so WHY would he possibly be doing that? Anybody got anything? #accidentally good

Cont. Under the Cut

Season 3 was supposed to end in the brothers finding a way out of Dean’s demon deal. but whoops! the writers strike of 2007 happened, and they never wrote an ending for the season, ending with episode 16 instead, guess we better just end the season with Dean in non-corporal hell for one of the most memorable season finale cliffhangers in all of television... by accident. [and hey later hell can downgraded to a dark room you can walk in and out of when you feel like it.] Oh 2007 writers strike you gave us so much. So much was lost, sure, but we got writer’s credits, Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog, and a larger scale story for Supernatural.

Trickster/Gabriel tells Sam he was trying to teach him a lesson, but why would he be doing that?

Sam: So this is fun for you? Killing Dean over and over again? Trickster: One, yes. It is fun. And two? This is so not about killing Dean. This joke is on you, Sam. Watching your brother die, every day? Forever? Sam: You son of a bitch. Trickster: How long will it take you to realize? You can't save your brother. No matter what. .... Trickster: Sam, there's a lesson here that I've been trying to drill into that freakish Cro-Magnon skull of yours. Sam: Lesson? What lesson? Trickster: This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go.

The character is retconned in season 5 to become retroactively logically, and goes on to be used in changing channels and Hammer of the Gods, the actor sticks around in cons and eventually gets to direct. So adding items to the list of things we probably would never have gotten without the 2007 writers strike - Richard Speight Jr Directing not one but two nearly identical Destiel “I love you” speeches. Stuck in the Middle and Despair/Truth, the former being the second episode he ever directs, and basically the third fiction he ever directed.

#spn meta #spn metacanon #spn gabriel #spn rewatch #spn 3x11 #You're Travis Bickle in a skirt pal #spn trickster #Original Content #spn group think #accidentally good #unparalleled media experience #richard speight jr #richard sp8 jr #spn cast ships destiel #spn cast #richard speight sure did direct a bunch of queer supernatural episodes hmmmm #spn continuity errors #spn plot holes

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crystal-moon-101 · 3 years

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Y and U? For the unnamed ask?

Y - What are your secondhand fandoms (i.e., fandoms you aren’t in personally but are tangentially familiar with because your friends/people on your dash are in them)?: I familiar with shows like Troll Hunter & Miraculous Lady Bug through a friend of mine, and I have been meaning to get into them, just a little busy and have a lack of energy 😅. I am also familiar with Yugioh (At least the earlier series), mostly because of the abridge and because I’m really into Season 0 stuff, as it’s more my kind of thing.

U - Three favorite characters from three different fandoms, and why they’re your favorites: Given you gave me three, I think it’s only natural for me to pick from The Secret Generator 10 trio, as I always up to talk about these three and what they mean to me. Of course, they’re hardly perfect character, but they all are special in their on way for me, and I thought I’d discuss why.

Rex: My favourite out of the three, with his show being my all-time favourite. Development, interesting background, mystery, angst, tragic, fun to watch, mostly consistent, amazing powers, and gets so much found family stuff going on, he hits a lot of marks of what I love to see in a character, and the same does do good enough of a job with him. Rex is a character that plays well with the concept of being a child soldier, having amnesia, and being the key to the larger story at hand, and the show still treats him like a real person, living and breathing, and not just a means to screw over every time they want to plot to work.

He has many layers to him, at the start seeming like a cocky, daredevil, rule-breaking and rebellious teen, who you sometimes question he understands the weight of what is happening to the world and himself, but then you learn that he does understand, so much more than he lets on. While he is naturally charismatic and a jokester, you can tell he often puts up this mask of joy and playfulness just to make a dark world around him feel a little lighter, along with hiding how alone and scared he actually feels. Because well, who wouldn’t be when placed in a role like that? He knows very well he has powers tied to saving the die, even if he doesn’t fully understand them. He knows the danger the nanites and EVOs pose, but also knows the danger that humankind can pose if they’re not willing to listen to reason. When things do get tough, he knows when to cut the crap and be serious. He’s someone who knows the world isn’t black and white, even if he hates to admit it at times.

While we didn’t get to see much of it, I’ve always seen Rex as a part of three worlds. He works closely with normal humans, like Six and Holiday (As normal as you can be at Providence), and he understands how scared the world is, how scared every day people are that any second they or someone they love could turn into a monster and go on a rampage. And sometimes that hurts for Rex is that he often tries to connect to this part of the world, because he knows he was once part of it, and he thinks it can make him happy, but the obstacle blocking him is that he isn’t human anymore, and that many people are scared of him, even if he saves them. And yet despite all the harsh things people have said or done to him, Rex always comes back to be the hero, because he knows he can help and that there are people that need his help, and it’s commendable that he’s willing to put aside those issues to save the day, even if he doesn’t get a thank you out of it.

His second ties are, of course, to his EVO world. It’s interesting that, at the very start of the show, Rex use to have this view that everything EVO was wrong, most likely something he picked up at Providence, despite being one himself. He’s hesitant around them, and while he’s not one to kill, he’s often quick to think they’ll be a danger. And while he can be right about that most of the time, he does start to learn it’s not all that it seems. His Hong Kong friends, Circe, Breach, even someone like Biowulf eventually. He even eventually learns that, while he’s not normal, he’s not a bad person for being something not human. And it’s an interesting thought that while he’s one of the most human-looking EVOs, he can be considered one of the most dangerous, even more so than EVOs that look like overgrown monsters. His ties to the EVO world are what make him start to see the world isn’t black and white.

And then his third ties, kind of, are to his nanites and history. Despite how human looking Rex is, and that he is an EVO, he’s very much something different to both sides, a middle ground thanks to his connection to the nanites. It’s always fascinated me that something about him, out of anyone in the world, he has this tie to nanites that no one else has. That can be explained by a number of things, but I also like to think it’s also because of the person he is. I mean, you get someone like Black Knight who got similar powers to him, but you never see her have a level connection with them like Rex does. And that can be explained by poor writing, but again I like to tie it back to who he is as a person, and how the nanites have evolved to be around him. And with how long he’s been tied to him, they just feel like a natural part of him, even if he may reject it sometimes. And to have him be once part of the past that involved how the nanites came to be, it adds a whole another layer to this boy. I will admit the writing can get to him at times, sadly, especially around season 3, and we don’t get certain answers to question about him, but he’s still a great character in my eyes, with so much potential for the stories and ideas you can play around him. I respect him for his hope for wanting to do things a better way, and yet knowing that sometimes you have to do the hard and logical things to do good, even if it’s not easy to do. I could ramble on more, but I got to move onto the next one. 💙

Zak: Ah, my sweet cryptid boy, have season 2 gave you crippling anxiety. Zak I would say, out of these three, is the most consistent with his writing. He’s still the same cryptid loving, cool kid, with a passion for his job back at the start of things, but he also grows in a believable way over time, especially when learning what he really is. The twist with making Kur adds such a spin on who he is and how he feels in a great way that I love, because he was someone who was building up to be the hero of the story by everyone around him, only to learn that the supposed villain he was meant to fight was himself. I think one of the interesting things that The Secret Saturdays does is that it never really answers the question if destiny is real, and if Zak is meant to kill all humans. It’s a question left up in the air, and while there seems to be facts that say otherwise, the idea that this boy could kill all humans makes people scared or eager, making everyone say that his destiny is real, even if there is no proof. And because of this, it makes Zak fear and believes that it’s real too, that he is bad just by simply being Kur’s reincarnation, even if he hasn’t done anything that makes him bad. And yet, as easy as it would have been for Zak to just accept this, he doesn’t, he still plays the hero and goes out of his way to help those that need it. Because whether or not destiny is real, Zak is willing to fight it, and that makes a noble character. And while we don’t get clear answers about destiny and Kur, many of us get to play with the idea of what it means for Zak and this world he’s in. I personally thing that Kur’s history is more complicated than him being ‘evil’ as I’ve written before, but Zak is his own character, his own person, and it’s fun to see who he is, how he reacts and how he grows. I also love that, while he’s pitched as one of those classic kid/teen boys during the 2000s action cartoon eras, he does things you wouldn’t expect. While he can get into fights and combat and have fun with it, if he knows the fight endangers someone or a cryptid, he will always take it seriously. Like when they found the cryptid fighting ring, he was always disgusted by it and keeps repeating the notion that he wanted to stop it as soon a possible, even hating to have to put Fisk into the fight just to stall and get info. He clearly as a loving passion with cryptids and the world he’s in, and is always out there looking to see more to the story than others may see. He’s not quick to label someone as a monster unless he’s 100% certain that’s what they are. And his family relationships are just golden, I love the Saturdays. It’s adorable how, instead of calling them pets, he treats Fisk, Zon and Komodo like his siblings. He respects them as equals, and while he can argue with them, he’s willing to listen and understand that they have their own needs and wants, and the four of them are always by each other’s sides. Drew and Doc, being one of my favourite couples of all time, have different relationships towards Zak, but both love and respect him very much. Even when they find out Zak is Kur, not once do they ever turn their back on their own child, and do everything they can to help him see he’s not a monster. Zak clearly looks up to them, and it’s great to see the growth they have by letting Zak spread his wings, and stop trying to be over-protective with him. And, of course, Uncle Doyle is great, in that he’s always respected Zak, even if he’s a child. He’s willing to be level with him, and push him when he knows Zak needs it, and the fact that Zak was the one in the family to be so quick to have him join is just so well done, as he never had a doubt that Doyle could be a better person. Zak love the world he’s in, and the beings and secrets that lay within it. Despite how it might push and hurt him, he’s often willing to get back up and show who he really is, that the labels that people put on him don’t define who he is. Despite how his world turned upside down with one sentence, he’s doesn’t give up.🧡

Ben: Oof, right...*Cracks knuckles* Time to get into the more iffy ones of the trio. Right away, I have no trouble saying that Ben has a lot of issues and flaws as a character. I have no issue denying that he can be an ass, and has done many dumb things. However, I’m not one to hate or fault characters when it’s the writing that screws them over. Because at his concept and core, the person he was meant to be, Ben is quite an interesting character. He’s not the standard hero with a cape, he’s very much flawed, can sometimes be a jerk and cocky often, and has been shown to be young and naive. But that doesn’t make him a bad person, in fact he adds an interesting element to the normal hero archetypes. When written well, he’s quite fun to follow and has quite the concept to play around with. Despite his outgoing and witty outside, Ben does go through a lot of crap ever since he got the watch. His teen years and parts of his childhood are mostly just dealing with the foes he’s made, and the troubles that comes with being the main hero of the galaxy, which is defiantly not an easy task to take. And yet he does it, he goes through all the dangers just to help people and the worlds around them. He’s often willing to stand back up and crack a smirk because he’s not one to give up. He sees hope, he sees potential and light beyond the darkness, and he wants to give others the chance to see that. And while his cocky nature can get in the way when written wrong, I do think it’s a trait that makes sense. People across the galaxy praise him since he was young, which can cloud his judgement, it’s a natural flaw that fits him as a character, and it has been shown he acts this way to hide how scared he really is. Cause I mean, with all that he has to fight, it is actually quite a struggle, so it is amazing to see just how much he takes and never backs down. He’s not a boring character to watch, he’s not a perfect hero that gleams in a golden light, he’s flawed and hows so many issues to tackle, but have a noble and bold side to him that you can respect. He’s been shown to bring people up, to teach and to guide, to take on the hassles of others just so they can get by in life. And while he does like the praise he gets out of it, you know deep down he does this because it’s good to just do good, even if it doesn’t benefit you always. He could have easily given up the watch and hand it back to Azmuth, but he never does. And his connection with alien and the watch have always been a personal interest with me, even if canon doesn’t delve much into it as they should. The thing with Ben is that he’s perfect for the watch, because he has no problem shaping into another being. And while it’s still Ben underneath, he does change parts of himself for the time being. And the reason he’s fine with this is because he sees life and potential with all the aliens he can be. He sees the different powers they hold and wants to show just what they can do to help, what the galaxy could build if they worked together. It’s funny that the omnitrix was build for peace purposes, and while Ben took it a different way than what Azmuth wanted, he found a way to make it work. I know other characters wouldn’t be able to handle the watch like this the way Ben does, even Albedo proves this by how he acts with his aliens, seeing them as nothing but tools while treating himself as the higher being, while Ben accepts what he turns into, and understands what makes certain aliens special. Sadly, Ben is a tragic character when it comes to the poor writing and constant switch in series, as Cartoon Network can’t seem to understand what to do with him. But that does make him a fun character to work off of and write, and I’ve seen some amazing things in the fandom with what they’ve done with him. So I've seen hated Ben, because I often see his as wasted potential for the character he could have been, and he does have great moments that are canon that I love. 💚

#I did not mean to make this long #Whoops!#But I hope some of you enjoy my essay about these characters I love #Got too much to say lol #my answers #Ben 10 #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #ben tennyson #ben 10 ben tennyson #generator rex #generator rex rex salazar #rex salazar #GR #the secret saturdays #secret saturdays #zak saturday #the secret saturdays zak

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vannahfanfics · 3 years

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Hiya dear 💕 for the fifth place winner fluff alphabet tier, I choose Luffy~ ✨

Ahhh! Yes, our adorable bean of a captain! Hehe, I hope you like it, dearie~

Fluff Alphabet: Monkey D. Luffy

A- Activities: How do they spend their time with their s/o?

We all know that Luffy adores adventures, and of course, that’s the number-one activity he enjoys with his s/o! He’ll cart his s/o off into all kinds of gallivants, whether they’re grand-scale explorations of islands on the Grand Line or little trips into port to get into whatever trouble they can. Fun is the most important thing to him, so naturally he’ll want to share all his life’s memorable moments with the person he loves most by his side.

Luffy also loves to sit on the bulkhead of the ship with his s/o with them seated on his lap, cradling them in his arms. Luffy’s one true love is freedom, which is perfectly encapsulated in the wide, ever-expanding blue of the rolling sea. He could sit there for hours gazing off into the nothingness dreaming of what lies beyond the horizon, and he loves to share those special moments with his s/o. Sometimes they’ll sit in silence, just gazing, and other times they’ll chatter excitedly about what could be hidden in the sparkling waters. Either way, it’s one of his favorite things to do, even more so now that he has someone to share his wonderings with.

B- Body: What does this character appreciate about their s/o? What part of their body are they most proud of, and in reverse, what body part are they ashamed of and how do they respond to their s/o gushing over it?

Luffy’s mind is a bit… strange when it comes to attraction. He’s not geared to feel a high level of physical attraction or pick out the favorite parts of his partner. He loves them, all of them; how could he pick a favorite? Luffy loves his s/o from their head to their toes, and he’s gonna shower love in all those places!

Likewise, Luffy isn’t one affected by body-related self-esteem issues. However, one sore spot of his is the X-shaped scar on his torso, the fruits of his two-year training stint on Amazon Lilly. It’s a personal reminder of Ace’s death, and though he can most of the time wear it as a badge of honor for growing strong enough to take on the New World, sometimes it also reminds him that he wasn’t strong enough to protect the things that matter most. When he gets in these low states of mind, he feels better when his partner lovingly strokes the scar tissue whispering consoling things. It doesn’t take much for him to bounce back, and then he’s initiating cuddles as thanks.

C- Cuddles: Is this character a cuddler? What is their favorite way to cuddle?

Holy shit. Cuddle this boy. He loves it; he lives for the cuddles. This man will literally walk around cuddling, smothering his s/o like a mama penguin as they waddle around deck doing whatever. This baby loves, loves, loves physical affection and cuddles are the best in his mind. Luffy’s favorite way to cuddle is either A. cuddling on the bulkhead of the ship while staring at the sea or B. spooning, where he’s the big spoon spidermonkeying all over his s/o, limbs wrapped around them to pull them impossibly close. Cuddle this baby. Please. You will have his whole ass heart.

D- Dreams: How do they picture their future with their s/o?

We all know Luffy’s dream— become Pirate King! This dream controls pretty much his entire life, but don’t think that his s/o is brushed to the side because of this! In actuality, they go hand in hand. He takes great pride in the idea of his s/o being there for his greatest accomplishment. Really; it doesn’t extend farther than that; marriage and settling down are not things he is thinking about. He wants to become Pirate King and sail the seas with his s/o by his side, and that’s all he needs.

E- Equivalence: Is this character the dominant force in the relationship, are they passive, or is the relationship more or less even?

Luffy, whether he is aware of it or not, presents a more or less even relationship. He’s stubborn and obstinate and has a one-track mind, but he never tries to make decisions for his s/o, at least in terms of the relationship. The last thing he wants to do is control anyone, let alone the person he loves. Relationships with Luffy are rollercoasters, but thankfully not difficult because he very much understands the concept of give-and-take.

F- Fights: How does this character respond to arguments with their s/o? What would they fight about, and who would cave and apologize first?

Luffy is stubborn and reckless, and this can grate s/o’s who are either unused to his behavior, or cannot control their anxiety over the various misadventures he ends up in. However, Luffy doesn’t understand most of the time why his s/o gets upset; he can handle himself so just have faith! It’s difficult for him to grasp the idea that an s/o is going to worry over him because the idea of losing him is unbearable, and logic does not apply. So Luffy is gonna pout and grump and mope.

Most of the time, it is him who apologizes first. He doesn’t like his s/o being mad at him. He’ll slink in after bed that night to wrap his s/o up in his arms and bury his face into their hair, grunting about how he’s sorry and he’ll try to do better. He does mean it, and he does try, but he just can’t help himself most of the time…

G- Gratitude: How does this character show their s/o that they are grateful?

Luffy’s a pretty straightforward guy, so he’ll come right out and say that he’s grateful for things his s/o has done, or even just existing. He’ll wrap them up in a great big snuggly hug while sporting a big grin and just lay on the praise. It doesn’t matter who’s around, either, so it can be embarrassing for some! But he just adores his s/o, and wants them to know that.

H- Honeymoon: If this character had a honeymoon with their s/o, where would they go?

Luffy understands the concept of a honeymoon, but he doesn’t get the importance of going off somewhere without all his friends. He’d definitely insist on just carrying on going about their adventures, like it’s one great big honeymoon itself! If his s/o puts up enough of a fight (or begins to cry, oh no), he’ll definitely relent and just tell them to choose. He wants his s/o to be happy, and if that means taking some time away from sailing, then he’ll do it gladly. Just please don’t cry.

I- Insecurity: What is this character insecure about? How do they deal with their insecurities with their s/o?

Luffy and “insecurity” seemingly exist in the same sentence. Luffy is very confident in himself for the most part. However, his s/o will be privy to the dark part he’s buried deep inside himself holding his fears and doubts. The events of Saobody and the Paramount War do haunt him, and he does carry reservations now, reservations that his strength will fall and someone he loves will pay the price. Luffy is pretty good about broaching the topic to his s/o himself. When the feelings grow too much for him to bear alone, he’ll creep to his s/o in the dead of night and seek their comfort.

J- Jealousy: Is this character the jealous type? How do they deal with being jealous?

Oh, bless this baby’s heart, he gets so jealous. He can’t help it. The idea of someone making passes at his s/o? It infuriates him to no end. When they are out and someone makes a move on his s/o, he is by their side in an instant. He will plaster himself all over them and make ugly faces and very blatantly insist that that is his s/o. If the person is insistent, he solves it like he solves most of his problems— punching them in the face. Then he’ll snuggle up with his s/o like nothing happened.

K- Kiss: What does the character want their first kiss to be like with their s/o? How does it end up happening?

Luffy doesn’t really think things like this out. If an urge strikes him, he acts on that urge— simple as that. So, if he’s sitting there admiring his pretty s/o and thinks he wants to kiss them? He just plants one on them! His s/o will be shocked and maybe a little embarrassed, but he’ll just flash them a cheesy smile and say he just thought they were so amazing he couldn’t help it. Who can argue with that logic?

L- Love Confession: How does this character first profess their love to their s/o?

Again, if Luffy has thought, Luffy acts on thought. The first time the idea that he loves his s/o comes to mind, he just blurts it right out. It can be in any situation— dinner, lounging around, even in the middle of a fight. He wants his s/o to know, and what’s the point in waiting?

M- Marriage: How does this character view marriage? What is their ideal wedding like?

Don’t get me wrong; Luffy isn’t exactly opposed to marriage. However, it is definitely not at the forefront of his mind. He doesn’t understand the significance of tying the knot, for a really long time. Of course, he isn’t one to refuse his beloved, so if they broach the topic of getting married he will immediately agree. He doesn’t really have an ideal wedding in mind; as long as his s/o is happy, that’s all he wants.

N- Nicknames: What does this character like to call their s/o?

Luffy gives all kinds of nicknames, but pet names are not something he uses, really. He calls his s/o either by their name, or whatever nickname he’s thought up for them. You won’t really hear “baby” or “sweetheart” from him— not because he doesn’t love his s/o, but pet names just aren’t really the way he expresses his affection.

O- On Cloud Nine: What is this character like when they’re in love? Is it obvious to others, or are they good at hiding it?

Luffy in love is actually pretty subtle, aside from the blatant love confessions. He’s huggy and affectionate with everyone he cares about, so the only real difference is that he shifts most of his efforts onto one person— his s/o— instead of distributing the love, so to speak, haha. Of course, his crewmates know him in and out so they definitely know when he’s caught feelings. In fact, Luffy will probably be the last to realize that what he is feeling is love, and someone will have to spell it out for him eventually, haha!

P- PDA: Does this character like PDA? If so, what kinds of things do they do in public to show off their s/o?

Oh, Luffy is one hundred percent into PDA. He is not shy with showing his affection, at all. He will hang all over his s/o, hold their hand, hug them randomly, and not bat an eye. He could be holding a full conversation— or his s/o could— and he’ll just plop right on them without batting an eye. The man loves to cuddle, what can I say?

Q- Quirks: What random traits or quirks does this character have that positively affect the relationship?

Luffy gives the best pep talks, forreals. If his s/o is sad, he knows just what to say to cheer them up, and it’s really just that he’s being honest instead of critically thinking about what best to say! It’s hard to be sad or upset around Luffy for long, because he will not rest until his s/o is back to smiling, even if it’s through tears.

R- Romance: Is this character a hopeless romantic, or a bit on the low-key side? Are they cliché when it comes to romantic gestures, or can they get a little bit creative?

Luffy doesn’t even really understand the concept of romance, LOL. It drives Sanji nuts. Luffy just does what he feels like. He sees a pretty flower he thinks his s/o may like? He picks it and gives it to them. He sees some food he wants to try? He brings his s/o along for the ride. Inadvertently, this leads to a lot of spontaneity in the relationship.

S- Secrets: Are there any secrets they hide from their s/o? If so, how do they deal with it when those secrets finally come out?

No secrets, especially from his s/o! Luffy is an open book. He doesn’t feel the need to hide anything or keep a part of himself secret, especially from the person he loves most.

T- Thrill: Does this character prefer routine in their relationship, or do they like to shake things up every once in a while?

Again, Luffy doesn’t necessarily think in these terms, but due to his personality, the relationship is anything but routine. His s/o will most definitely be swept up in whatever chaos Luffy is, for sure! And again, he acts on almost anything that pops into his brain. His s/o can definitely expect impromptu dates and surprise outings!

U- Understanding: Is this character level-headed and empathetic toward their partner, or do they sometimes have trouble figuring them out, which leads to some butting heads?

Honestly? It depends on his mood and the topic. There are sometimes that Luffy can totally understand his partner and offer guidance and assistance, and then there are other times that this poor fool just can’t articulate. Butting heads happens a fair bit, usually over things like Luffy’s reckless and rash decisions. Some things he just can’t understand, and he’s some kind of stubborn!

V- Value: How does this character value their relationship with their s/o? How does it hold in comparison to their goals, ambitions, etc.?

Luffy’s dream to become Pirate King comes first, for a very long time. Eventually, this dream will merge with the level of love he has for his s/o; he wants to achieve that dream not only for himself, now, but so his s/o will be proud of him. His relationship is still very important to him up until that point; his s/o is a nakama, after all, even if a special one.

W- Wild Card: Any random fluff headcanon that does not fall within the other categories!

Luffy loves head scratches. Please, give this boy some head scritches, and he will be putty in your hands! He loves to nap on his s/o’s lap with their hands weaving into his hair and massaging his scalp. He will be out like a light in mere minutes. He loves it.

X- XOXO: How does this character show affection?

As I’ve previously discussed, Luffy’s big love language is physical affection. He loves to hug, cuddle, kiss, and spider-monkey all over his s/o. It just comes so naturally to him and is the best way to show his love.

Y- Yearning: How does this character deal with time apart with their s/o?

Oh my God, Luffy is the biggest moper. He cannot handle a lot of time away from his s/o. It drives him mad. He isn’t worried, necessarily, because he knows his s/o can hold their own; he just misses them and is bored without them. It makes everyone miserable because he literally just flops around and whines to whoever is in earshot. As soon as his s/o returns, he sticks to them like glue until he’s had his fill of snugglin’ (which takes a looooong time).

Z- Zeal: Is this character willing to great lengths for their relationship? If so, how far, and how long does it take to get to this point?

Of course! This is Luffy we’re talking about, after all. Luffy would do anything for his s/o, whether that be face an army or venture into dangerous territory or even face the threat of death. He can’t bear losing anyone, but especially not his love. Luffy falls fast and hard, so his s/o has someone in their corner from pretty much day one.

#luffy #monkey d luffy #monkey d. luffy #mugiwara no luffy #straw hat luffy #one piece #op luffy #one piece luffy #fluff alphabet

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Darkwing Duck Reviews: Darkly Dawns the Duck Pts 1 and 2

It’s a Darkwing Double Feature! Just in time for his ducktales special, I take a look at the introduction of everyone’s favorite Daring Duck of Mystery. In his daring debut we meet Darkwing Duck, an egositical and attention hungry superhero who soon finds himself having to look after a feisty orphan to keep her from getting nabbed by local kingpin of crime Taurus Bulba with the help of his biggest fan. Darkwing owns the night under the cut with decades old spoilers.

Let’s Get Dangerous.. is tommorow so with that in mind i’m doing a darkwing double feature to refresh myself before the big special. So i’ll be covering both the original series pilot “Darkly Dawns the Duck” and the ducktales reboot episode “The Duck Knight Returns”. Let’s Get Dangerous Itself because I was so wiped yesterday I didn’t get the other review done and unexpectly got acess to the new episode way earlier than usual so i’d rather focus on that. Got it? Good. Let’s continue past me.

As usual with a new show a breif bit about my history with it: I watched it years ago, as a friend of mine lent me the first two discs of the season 1 dvd and never found the third one nor asked for them back, nor cared I had them. I thoughtly enjoyed it, had a great time and then it took me a decade or so to actually watch the series again due to a combination of being too stubborn to just buy the season 1 dvd again, a very darkwing move of me in hindsight, and then when disney plus meant I had all episodes at my finger tips I.. sat on them till now.. though to be fair i’ve sat on a LOT of great shows on there including the mandalorian, gargoyles and boy meets world. I have a bad tendency to procastinate, the fact this is coming out so late in the day should be a giveaway. I did read about half of volume 1 of the comic and all of volume 2, so there’s that at least. Point is this new episode finally made me decide to get off my ass and watch darkwing once again, starting with the pilot and the episodes related to the fearsome four to be ready for tomorrow to see what the differences are (Thoguh I did remember bushroot vividly, so I had that at least). Something to note before I get started talking about the pilot itself though, is the episode order for Darkwing Duck is a Darkwing Clusterfuck. Now I do understand WHY they aired this way: While some episodes do logically take place after other episodes, you can reasonably pop on just about any darkwing and watch it and enjoy it with minimal need to know what happened in previous episodes, kinda like batman the animated series oddly enough. It was also aired between two networks so on some level I get disney’s confusion here.. but on the other hand it’d take ten minutes, they clearly can call up the creator easily as Tad Stones made a cameo in ducktales 2017 we’ll get to so they could easily get a better order from the creator himself, so they really don’t have an excuse for this, or for slapping the pilot in the middle of season 1. Then again both ducktales 2017 and x-men the animated series were sort of a mess order wise when first put up, so not giving a shit about where episodes are placed for re-watching clearly is a pastime of theirs.

Now i’ve got that out of my system we can dive into the episode itself and a breif plot synopsis. Darkwing Duck is the superhero protector of St. Canard, a masked vigiliante who takes out crime but wishes he actually got fame and credit for his work. Kind of like Booster Gold but without taking endorsments or as far as we know coming from the future. He also has nothing else as shown by the fact he fights crime, does a training regimine to prepare his breakfast that’s a delight to watch then prepares to sleep. It’s an intresting concept, a hero who HAD a civlian identity once, as the rest of the series would play out, he just no longer needs it. And it’s also ahead of it’s time as batman would explore this idea both seriously with bruce wayne murderer and comedically and seriously with the lego batman movie LONG after this series aired, meaning the writers here figured out what many probably knew about batman and put it into their parody version: Batman is the real identity and Bruce is the mask. Batman only keeps his old self because the bruce id is useful to him: It keeps people away from his company, puts up a playboy facade that draws attention away from him being batman, and allows him to do various charities and what not and help honor his parents in a way that dosen’t involve swooping in and kicking people in the throat. And as seen with bruce wayne murderer when the option to throw bruce away for good came up Batman gladly took it. This is the same idea: Drake Mallard ONLY cares about crime fighting, has no friends no family, we never do find out jack about his family hopefully if there’s a full reboot series Frank and Matt fix it for their version. He has nothing, and is fine with that. He hasn’t really had a reason to care about anything else than his own glory and works alone not because it’s less efficent but because his oversized ego means he dosen’t want to share credit. IT’s an intresting start and his ego would be a defining bit of who he is and used intrestingly int he reboot but we’ll get to that there.

His life changes forever though when local crime boss Taurus Bulba unleashes his latest scheme: To steal the Ramrod, a gravity manipulating device created by the late Dr. Quackmeyer.. late because Bulba’s men killed him and were dumb enough not to get the arming code for the ramrod first a year ago. Bulba is also behind bars but in one of my faviorite gags of the episode despite the warden’s constnat gloating, Bulba has taken the “Supervillian makes jail into a base” Or “Jail is nothing to a supervillian who can easily get out trope” to ludcrious machines. He has whole meetings with his minions, keeps the ramrod once he gets his hands on it in the laundry and has a ship SHAPED LIKE HIS FACE built into his cellblock. I’ts just so over the top it’s glorious. But yeah since Bulba can’t go after it at first he sends his three goofy minons, one played by eddie “Mandark” deezen in.. love that guy.

THey do end up stealing the ramrod thanks to the help of bulba’s cool, non-anthromporhic condor who he uses as his right hand man and as his link to his minons via a small tv aroudn it’s neck. That.. is awesome. Darkwing spots the condor but fails to stop the three stooges or the condor and gets unknowingly blamed for the robbery..and stopped to get glamor shots not realizing the guy thought he was a criminla which.. fair enough. It is a shadowy disguise after all.

Darkwing ends up grabbing onto the vulture sonic 3 style, but ends up falling off him into a hangar where we meet the original version of Launchpad McQuack, whose apparently quit working for scrooge and has his own hangar now though it wouldn’t be a stretch that scrooge bought it for him.. he does , stingy as he is, appricate hard work and launchpad wanting to start his own buisness and while hte planes were probably all on launchpad, Scrooge would gladly buy a run down buliding for a loyal friend who wants to put in some hard honest work. Plus it’s a free place to store any vehicles he has in the st canard area.. I mean it’s still scrooge. And yes I know the whole “Tad stones said they aren’t the same universe” non sense. I do have the utmost respect for the guy and he seems really, nice but I don’ tlike that, no one likes that and both the comics and the current duckverse with the ducktales reboot entirely ignore that for good reason.While the two shows are diffrent in tone they stil lfit and it’s not a stretch for launchpad to want to spread his wings or failing that scrooge to help push him out of the nest and give him his own buisness or one of scrooge’s to run.

But while Launchpad does help DW with a propeller plane they fail and while launchpad offers to be his sidekick, DW gives him the old I work alone bit. However him being alone won’t last for long as Bulba still needs that arming code and since his only lead is Waddlemeyer’s grandaughter who grew up in his lab, he sends his buffonish minons to go get him. Why he never sends his lone female minon with them is because it’s funnier if she dosen’t I guess. Which it is so fair enough. So thus we enter Goslyn, who the head of the orphanage is fed up with due to her antics. Goslyn is played as most of you knwo by christine cavanagh.. I honestly forgot and it still throws me off a bit she’s using what would later be her chucky finster voice for a character so completely diffrent. Granted it’s not unusual in voice acting, just weird here and only for me personally having grown up with rugrats but not darkwing. The orphanage head is a bit less jarring as she’s played by Marcia Wallace, aka Edna Krabable from the simpsons but A) that show was already running at this point and B), the character is basically a nicer version of edna versus chuckies voice coming out of a tiny if immensly fun to watch hellion. I do like goslyn, sh’es a fun character even in her shadier moments, it’s just something i’d forgotten about i’ll need to get used to is all.

Bulba’s hired goons come in claming ot be friends of her grandpas and we actually get some really heartwrenching context for Gos’ behavior: While she does act out she actually LIKES THE orphanage.. ti’s just her friends keep getting adopted while no one wants someone “full of spirit”. It’s heartwrecnhing to hear.. and only gets worse when the goons try and kidnap her. Thankfully Darkwing.. also kidnaps her, but he kindaps her from kidnappers and while Goslyn naturally takes a second to realize he’s the good guy them shooting at him clues her in. Darkwing, in a rare for the series as a whole moment of reason and not wanting to just power though something himself TRIES to do the responsible thing and leave gos with the police where she’ll be protected.. but given they think he’s a wanted criminal they shoot at him.. and the small child in his motorcycle. Yup that’s the police alright.

So with no other options Darkwing takes gos home, hyjinks insue including her activintg the breakfast thing. But the two genuinely start to bond. While Darkwing dosen’t WANT to keep her around, the whole not wanting connections thing, it’s clear he’s growing fond of the little snot as she holds her own with his trianing course, they have a tickle fight and in the sweetest moment of the episode the two sing little girl blue, a song her grandfather used to sing her to sleep that she teaches darkwing. It’s an utterly heartmelting bit and Cummings and Cavanagh really sell the hell out of it. It also however turns out ot be plot relevant: Turns out just in case Dr. Waddlemeyer hid the code for the ramrod in the song, and when Darkwing sees a photo Goslyn got from bulba’s goons, he realizes this and realizes that depsite thinking she didn’t know it Goslyn had it all along.. and that as long as h’es around she won’t know. Bulba is naturally livid at his minons failure and decides now’s the time to take this into his own hands and while he actually liked the prison hq setup, as it did make sense as it was the perfect cover and the warden was too full of himself to realize Bulba was still active and too convinced the bull was beaten down when he clearly wasn’t, but instead as mentioned above awesomely converts his cellblock into a flying ship in the shape of his own head. Bulba.. is a great villian and I only think the show didn’t use him more because he’s a dead serious, deadly dangerous villian in an otherwise goofy but fun superhero parody show. The show later gained Negaduck, so they had a more dangerous threat for darkwing that fit the show’s tone better while still being utterly terrifying, and likely simply didn’t need him till the idea for the steerminator came up. But I love the guy: he reminds me a lot of the kingpin, a threatning villian who uses his sheer size to beat our hero down, is cool and suave and is an utter mastermind at planning. He also wears a nice suit. And naturlaly he has a plan to take out darkwing since despite the two never having met, as Darkwing disparages when Goslyn assumes their lifelong mortal enmies like in the comics, they know of each other.. and thus bulba knows exactly what trap to spring to get him out of the way and goslyn into his ship: He flashes a message in morris code that he wants to surrender to Darkwing while stroking his ego a LOT. And it works... while i’ts an obvious trap Darkwing’s so full of himself he goes despite Goslyn telling him it’s very obviously a trap. Naturally everything goes pear shaped as a result: Bulba shows up, revealing gos not only to be right but easily pummling Darkwing. Which makes sense: While Darkwing is a vetran crime fighter and secret agent, Bulba’s been at being a villian longer clearly as he’s built up enough of a rep both for Darkwing to know him out of hand and for the warden to be proud capturing him. Given what univese this is, it probably isn’t Bulba’s first round with a superhero and given at this stage St Canard only has one.. yeah Darkwing is outclasssed and the police grab him while Bulba scarpers. And while Gos puts up a good fight using the trianing course, Bulba’s vulture gets her. Bulba has everything he needs. Darkwing meanwhile actually bemoans what a dick he’s been, that the first person he’s cared about besides himself in possibly ever is now in the hands of a murderous mastermind, and that he’s stuck in jail with no one to call on for help. Thankfully.. help arrives.. and by help I mean launchpad backing the ratcatcher, Darkwing’s bike, into the prisoin. He DID come just to bail DW out despite his earlier jerkishness, but backed in and Darkwing not beliving superheroes have time for paperwork, decides to just bust out. And to be ifair int his case he’s probably right as you know, a ten year old might die if they don’t get there in time. So off they go.. but with Bulba in the air they need something with wings to catch him. ANd luckily as Launchpad mentioned earlier he’s been working on something special for darkwing. It’s with this we enter the thunderquack, which is DW”S awesome headshaped plane. It’s just cool it’s got a nice design, goofy enough tof it the universe but cool enoguh to still be fun to watch. Darkwing has really damn cool vehicles, as the ratcatcher is also awesomely iconic. But yeah the thunderquack impresses darkwing and rightfully so and he decides to make LP his sidekick afterall. So now our heroes fly into the danger zone and attack bulba’s airship with Darkwing landing on the bow and a scuffle insues with darkwing and hte minons.. who use actual guns which for a 90′s kids show is a suprise, especially one this intentioanlly goofy, but boy is it nice. However Bulba, being awesomely evil, isn’t dumb and instead of fighting darkwing, which he could win but would win him nothing and having gotten nothing out of goslyn, figures the hero might know the code.. and while Darkwing lies and says he dosen’t, Bulba points out .. he’s right.. but he’s always been a gambling man and has his condor drop goslyn to lure drake into telling him , with DW putting in the code and bulba testing it with a bank robbery.. before predictably having his condor drop the girl because he no longer needs her. Thankfully launchpad catches her in time and then they get revenge on the condor with the thunderquack BITING IT.. which is awesome. Hopefully the reboot version does that.

Darkwing meanwhile saves the day, his new daughter and the city by simply sneaking over to the ramrod and mashign the keys till it overloads, silly, but undeniably awesome and effective. Bulba TRIES to finish off darkwing this time for foiling his plan.. btu the ramrod explodes and while bulba’s minons and goslyn and launchpad are safe... bulba and darkwing are apparently dead and it’s effective. A few weeks later Goslyn’s back at the orphanage utterly distraught and broken at being basically orphaned again. Naturally though Darkwing’s alive, having taken his old identnity back since now he has something worth using it for and adopts her, hinting at who he is so she goes with him. And Drake has changed.. sure he’ll still be as egostical and impuslive as he was here.. but he’s no longer just darkwing.. he’s drake again as he has someone worth fighting for.. two someones in fact. He has a friend, a loyal partner to help him fight cime. And more importantly.. he has a loving daughter. And both needed each other: Goslyn needed someone who understood her despite her manic energy, and Drake needed someone who needed him and not darkwing, a reason to be a person outside the cape and cowl and outside the attention again. He needed a reason to live again... and he’s got it. And it’s going to be great.

Final Thoughts: This pilot is excellent. Well paced, plenty of laughs, tense action and great introductions for everyone involved as well as a hell of a vilian> This is how you do a first episode: it introduces the main themes of the show, both comedically and dramatically, introduces the cast and gives us a one off , or rather two off it’d turn out, villian whose compelling and intresting. IT’s really damn good stuff and I can’t wait ot see what frank does with a simlar story tommorow. Until then, stay safe, and happy hallowen. We’ll be back shortly for The Duck Knight returns and then Let’s Get Dangerous tommorow.

#darkwing duck #reviews #ducktales #darkly dawns the duck #drake mallard #goslyn mallard #launchpad mcquack #tarus bulba #the disney afternoon #the 90's

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anomander-dragnipurake · 4 years

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Possessed Chapter One: Possession

I've become quite fond of the 'King Boo possessing Luigi' concept, especially with all the angst potential it brings with it, so much so that I became filled with the intense need to write a fic about it and so I have. This is also my first fic for the Mario Bros. fandom and it's honestly one of the angstiest things I've written in a long time which is not what I would've expected my first fic for this fandom to be but it was a *lot* of fun to write. Enjoy! :)

Luigi wasn’t sure what woke him but something had. Sitting up, he looked around the room for it. He’d fallen asleep on the living room chair again, watching TV. It was off now though, so were the lights, only the moonlight flittering in through the window allowed him to see that the room was empty.

With a hand that was only slightly trembling, he grabbed the remote from the coffee table and pressed the power button because if he’d fallen asleep watching TV it should’ve been on. Nothing happened though. Pulling on the switch for the lamp next to his chair also did nothing. … The power was out. … Was that what had woken him

The power going out was a fairly normal thing. It happened sometimes and was nothing to worry about, it’d probably be back up soon. … But why did it have to happen in the middle of the night? It was too dark!

Gritting his teeth, he forced himself to stand and start carefully making his way towards the hall. He was going to go to bed and sleep and not be afraid of the dark. Even if there could be ghosts hiding in it there probably weren’t and even if there was, he’d defeated more than enough ghosts by now that he shouldn’t be afraid of them anymore. … He still was though because his brain apparently wasn’t into the whole being logical about this stuff thing.

He paused upon reaching his bedroom door. Thankfully it was the first door near the start of the hall because it was dark further down with now windows to allow moonlight to leak in. It was like staring down into an abyss, he hated it.

“Puppy,” he called down it anyway, lifting his voice as loud as he dared. He braced for Polterpup to race out of the darkness and jump him but nothing happened. Normally a single call was enough to get him to come running, apparently not today though. He was probably out back, digging holes again. Luigi should go stop him because he wasn’t supposed to do that but… he’d barely made it to his bedroom door, no way did he want to go all the way to the backdoor, outside, and then all the way back here when it was so dark. … He did have a flashlight in his room though so…

Turning back to this bedroom door, he opened it and… screamed. King Boo was waiting just inside, grinning wide and laughing. Luigi only managed to backpedal a few steps as the light in King Boo’s crown grew and then with a sound much like a thunder clap flashed, replacing the utter darkness with blinding light. There was a vague sensation of falling as something pulled Luigi’s consciousness down. Something was terribly wrong about that but…

He came to laying on the floor, facing the ceiling. It wasn’t completely dark anymore, there was a light coming from… somewhere, it had a purple tinge to it. That was odd, what was…

King Boo’s laugh, though very similar to other boos’ was still distinctly his and unmistakable for anything else. Luigi screamed and… nothing actually came out of his mouth, nor did his body move to scramble away as he oh so desperately wished to do. More laughter from King Boo.

‘This worked so much better than I thought it would.’ His voice came from inside Luigi’s head. How? Why? What was happening?

Luigi sat up but much slower than he would’ve liked, his face twisting into an evil grin. He looked down at his hands, flexing them and closing them into fists as if he were working out stiffness. He wasn’t in control of this or himself in anyway. But if he wasn’t in control of his body than who…

“I am,” King Boo said out loud, using Luigi’s mouth. It was a horrible, gross, awful realization that would’ve had Luigi shuddering with revulsion and horror if his body were still his to control. This kind of violation was something beyond anything he’d ever even considered a possibility let alone something that someone would do to him.

King Boo laughed as he stood up and stretched. An echo of his glee about a plan of his finally be successful hit Luigi, making him feel almost sick. Which only furthered King Boo’s delight. He took a breath as if to say something, probably a taunt about Luigi’s revulsion and horror but a sound drew his gaze to the left.

It was Gooigi. They’d come out of their room and was now staring at Luigi and King Boo. Their face was nearly expressionless as always so what they felt about whatever it is they saw was impossible to guess but Luigi wanted more than anything to beg them for help. It… didn’t seem to be coming though.

King Boo grinned and took a menacing step towards them… or tried to. He stumbled instead, landing face first on the carpet. Even though it hurt and despite the circumstances it was kind of funny; big bad King Boo couldn’t even walk properly.

‘SHUT UP!’ King Boo shouted internally, making Luigi do the mental equivalent of a flinch, all mirth gone from the situation. ‘It’s not my fault you’re stuck with an inferior way of moving around. I can fly remember? I don’t need legs.’ He pushed himself back to his feet and brushed himself off. “What are you looking at?” he said in an almost growl as he glared at Gooigi. “Go away.”

Gooigi stared for a few seconds more before switching their flashlight on. They flashed it but that did nothing but hurt Luigi’s eyes a little. It didn’t seem to bother King Boo any as he tried walking towards them again, this time with more success even if his balance was still very off. Gooigi responded by switching to the dark light which was normally effective against both boos and possessed objects but… seemingly not this time.

Before they could attempt anything else, King Boo was in front of them. He spat on them and as always when even a drop of water touched them, they started melting, making a vague ‘uh oh’ sound. They’d ultimately be fine and would reform in their tank but watching them melt was still unpleasant. … And with them gone, there went Luigi’s chances of immediate rescue because he’d never gotten around to having E. Gadd modify the tank so Gooigi could get out on their own.

“That takes care of that then,” King Boo said with a satisfied simile as he turned away before Gooigi was even all the way melted.

W-what are you going to do to me? Luigi dared to venture at him, his inner voice quivery with fear. He wanted to be angry and he should be but… anger was hard even when he wasn’t terrified.

King Boo didn’t respond with words of any sort, just a spike in that echo of his evil delight as he started making his wobbly, careful way further down the hall. The purple light coming from somewhere on Luigi’s person wasn’t much of a light source, it barely illuminated anything but it was better than nothing. Though when they reached the hall mirror in a few steps, Luigi would’ve preferred it not be there at all as King Boo stopped to look into it.

Luigi’s hair and mustache were now a stark white. His eyes mostly empty white except for a tint of purple around the edges; very reminiscent of King Boo’s eyes. The purple glow was from King Boo’s crown, it was smaller on Luigi’s head but still unmistakable as anything else. This… was probably the worst thing to ever happen to Luigi and that was saying a lot.

“I like it,” King Boo said with an evil grin that looked wrong on Luigi’s face. “Your outfit is gross though; we’ll have to fix it before we go talk to your friends.” He pulled the hat off and tossed it aside so the crown would rest more naturally on his head.

‘Talk to your friends’, that could only mean…

“Yep,” King Boo interrupted the thought. “You really think I’d possess you and not drag you around in front of your friends? What would the fun be in that?”

No, no, please no! Luigi hated to beg but he did not want his friends to see him like this and… most of all he didn’t want Mario to see him like this.

“Too bad! His reaction is the one I’m most looking forward too. But before that, it’s been a long time since I piloted a meat suit, I apparently need some practice.” So he wouldn’t trip at a bad time again… if only Luigi could appreciate the humor in that thought.

A short time into King Boo’s ‘meat suit’ practice he decided to make everything worse by taunting him ruthlessly. Luigi did his best not to react because that’s what King Boo wanted. He was doing mostly okay at it for a while… until King Boo found a button to push anyway.

‘What do you think Mario will think of you when he sees you like this?'

That… was a good question? What would he think?

'Maybe he’ll be happy.'

Luigi really shouldn’t respond but… Why would he be… happy?

'Because, I’ve defeated him three times now. Each time you’ve had to save him. But normally he’s the hero, right? And you’re just a sidekick at best. Thus, by saving him, you make him look like a fool. So maybe he’ll be happy to see you’ve finally been defeated by the one foe he’s never been able to best.'

Logically Luigi knew that couldn’t be true; Mario was his bro, he’d never be happy to see him like this. But… what if it was true? He’d never indicated he had resentment towards Luigi for having saved him three times now but what if he was just good at hiding it? Mario had always been better and stronger than him, it made sense he wouldn’t want to be saved by someone like Luigi, right?

'Exactly! Heck when he finds out maybe he won’t even want to…’ King Boo tripped over the coffee table, banging Luigi’s shin and landing on it hard.

Despite not being in control of his body, Luigi felt the pain just as strongly. It sucked but it did serve to knock him out of his spiraling worries. Of all times to worry about Mario possibly secretly hating him, now was not it. He was not going to let King Boo taunt him into worry about that.

With an annoyed huff, King Boo straightened and resumed walking practice, seemingly unphased by the pain. The fact that his coordination was so bad was the only mercy in the situation, hopefully it would take him a while to get past it.

Polterpup finally decided to return from outside a short while later, interrupting another taunt from King Boo. He froze, his glowing eyes locking onto King Boo and Luigi a half second before he started growling. Luigi had never heard him growl like that before, it made him want to pull back. But instead of course, King Boo approached.

“Go ahead, attack me.” He grinned as he held Luigi’s forearm out, the perfect target for a Polterpup to jump up and bite.

He looked like he was going to, rearing back ready to pounce, but faltered instead, his angry growl petering out. He barked and ran in a little circle a few times. When he stopped, he sat down on his hunches and whined up at Luigi rather pitifully. After a few seconds of King Boo waiting and probably hoping for him to attack, he barked again before turning and bolting back through the front door. Well… at least he didn’t attack so Luigi wouldn’t have to add that to the list of traumatic experiences he was going through tonight. Maybe… he was going for help?

'He’s probably abandoning you. But even on the off chance he does go for help, it’ll be in vain. You’re my hostage now and I don’t intend to give you up anytime soon.'

#My writing #super mario bros #Luigi's mansion #Booigi #King Boo #Luigi #Possession

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drunk-onsunlight · 3 years

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Day #10 of Promptmas

Chapter 10: Say what's in this drink?

Summary:

“Who would have thought that Spider-Man is such a naughty boy? Santa is not bringing you any presents” MJ’s right hand had moved from his neck to his arm and then to his hand

Notes:

We are so close to end this story and I'm so sad but happy at the same time! Thanks again to @spiderman-homecomeme for Promptmas, definitely will do again. I loved the experience and the support

Concept: Only one bed & Snow angels

Dialogue: “Let’s make snow angels” “How old are you?” & “Hey! The cookies were for Santa!”

December 24th

The party ended at dawn and everybody started to move to their respective rooms. Betty and MJ were terribly drunk and they kept laughing and singing whatever song they remembered and they knew, or think they knew.

“Ned, let’s take them to bed. They are going to be hangover when they woke up so we better get ready for that” Peter wasn’t drunk because of his accelerated metabolism. Alcohol wasn’t a huge problem for him, or hangovers for the matter

“I’m taking Betty to our room, you should take MJ to yours”

“Ours? You don’t you mean “her room”?” Nobody told Peter about sharing a room with MJ, he was definitely prepared to sleep on the floor if needed. What if he sleeps on the living room and wakes up before everybody does to avoid questions?

“Peter, now we all know you guys are together. It’s not like we are pretending you can’t share a room. That would be pointless” Ned was trying to help Betty go up the stairs but it wasn’t easy since both were on different states of drunkenness

“Yeah. Of course. Totally pointless” MJ wrapped her arms around Peter’s neck and gave him a little peck on the cheek

“Hey loser” Peter saw Ned and Betty finally made it up the stairs and grabbed MJ’s waist to help stabilize her

“Hey you. How you feeling?” Peter noticed MJ breath smelled like all the eggnog they had and maybe half a bottle of wine

“Funny”

“Funny? Not drunk? Maybe sleepy?” She seemed like she had no intentions to go to sleep

“Definitely drunk but not sleepy. I have a lot in my head”

“Can I help with something?” He was softly moving her through the living room and guiding her to the stairs

“Getting out of my head. That would be good” MJ still had her arms around him. It was easier to lead her to the room when she was cooperating and not like Betty that wanted to keep the party going for two more days. Her words, not his

“What do you mean?”

“I can’t believe you are a genius and an idiot, all at the same time. Where are you taking me by the way?” Peter was trying to make sense of MJ’s words, they seemed quite important

“Room” His mind was still processing the party. The karaoke, how close they had been during the party, how he almost kissed MJ at one point after they sang together to Mariah and her recent words. They were moving up the stairs and maybe he understood what MJ said. He had a lot to think about and it would be very useful if she came out of his head

“Who would have thought that Spider-Man is such a naughty boy? Santa is not bringing you any presents” MJ’s right hand had moved from his neck to his arm and then to his hand

“What a shame. Santa brought you a nice present but I have it. If I don’t have any presents then you shouldn’t either” And he definitely shouldn’t be playing along. Peter knew it was a dangerous game

“Did you buy me a gift? What is it?” They were already in their room but MJ was still hugging him so he kept his hands on his waist, making sure they had space between them

“No presents, you said it” MJ started pouting and Peter though she looked really cute. He could definitely kiss her right now, but that was a terrible idea and he knew it “We definitely should go to sleep. Get ready for bed and I will bring you some water and painkillers. You are gonna need them” He moved away from MJ and her arms fell to her sides

“Why don’t you stay?” She had moved fast and soundless to the door and closed it. Peter though of her as Black Cat in that moment. Every move she made felt like a feline surrounding its prey and his senses seemed to pick up that she was up to something, but not a bad thing. It was a different feeling

“You want me to? You can sleep here, I can go back to the living room. It’s fine” Peter tried to take a few steps back to grab his clothes from his bag but she moved closer to him with each step he took back

“You want to go? I wouldn’t mind sharing the bed with you” Peter decided that walking away was pointless so he stand still in the middle of the big room with a queen size bed and a huge closet. He couldn’t answer. He felt he shouldn’t answer. It was one of those ‘everything you say can be used against you’ cases and he didn’t want to risk it. “I had a fun night. Thanks for everything” Peter could only see how she got closer and closer to him.

Something in him made him stare at her and everything seemed to slow down around them. She moved her eyes from his eyes to his mouth and Peter knew exactly what was going to happen, but no matter how much he wanted it, she wasn’t in her five senses and the last thing he wanted was to ruin their friendship for the sake of a kiss. He took MJ’s face in between his hands and placed a little kiss or her right cheek, then the left one and a last one on the tip of her nose.

“Not fair” she said in a soft, almost unintelligible, whisper against his face. He still had his hands on her face

“What’s not fair?” Peter whispered back

“I told you to get out of my head and now you’re probably gonna be there for more time that acceptable” Now Peter understood what she meant and she was right. It wasn’t fair to share this kind of moments and have to pretend nothing happened in two days. She, probably, will be in his head way too much than he needed her to.

MJ took his hands in hers and after a few seconds she released them. Then she moved to the left side of the bed and felt on top of the blankets. After she settled on the bed, covered with a single blanket she made a gesture for Peter to settle next to her on the bed

“You can sleep here, Peter. I don’t mind. We definitely need some rest” Peter moved slowly to the right side of the bed and moved the blanket to get comfortable. He let more than fifteen centimeters between them. He didn’t want to wake up and have MJ kicking his head for invading her personal space.

To his surprise, when he thought MJ was slept, she moved closer and hugged him. He stood still and after a few seconds he heard her breathe slowly on his chest, that was all he needed to get some rest too and let sleep took him over.

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“We are not dating Betty” MJ needed to tell someone the truth and maybe Betty was the right choice. A few years ago she was a very closed person, walls and walls around her. Never letting people in, but life taught her better. She needed friends and people she could trust in. And this, this was something she couldn’t hold anymore

“What? I don’t believe you” Or maybe she wasn’t the right option. It was 10am and the air was cold around them

“Betty, we are pretending! A few days ago we were shopping with Morgan, Pepper called and asked Peter to bring his girlfriend to meet them and not even Morgan knew about a girlfriend. Then Anthony and Pepper called to invite us, as a couple, to this few days here and I said yes. But we are not even dating, ask Morgan. She knows the truth” Betty’s face showed how confused she was

“Em, I can’t believe any of that! The other day Ned and I talked about you guys. The conclusion was that Peter and you were on a relationship without even knowing” MJ tried to hug herself a little. It was a good idea to talk to Betty but maybe not outside with snow falling

“What do you mean?”

“Em… the movie night, the shopping with Morgan, the coffee shop he took you to, the skate rink, this few days… You guys act like it’s not even hard to pretend, you just are in the relationship dynamic and it’s so natural you didn’t noticed” Betty tried to explain to MJ as it was the most logical and obvious thing in the universe, but MJ didn’t have a clue what she was talking about

“Betty those wasn’t dates. I’m sorry you don’t have male friends to have… Aammm, friendly outings” Betty looked very unimpressed at MJ’s comeback

“Ok whatever. Then why are you both behaving like this? Why pretend and not be here just like friends? What about last night?” MJ was terribly drunk but not like she didn’t remember anything, in fact, she remembered every bit of the night. And she didn’t regret it but she wasn’t ready to face the consequences either

“Ugh! Don’t talk about last night!” This was exactly why she needed to talk to Betty but at the same time why she was afraid of said conversation “Betty, remember when we were in high school and you got me the hard way that I had a tiny crush on Peter?”

“Oh God, yes! It was so obvious and you didn’t want to admit it. Frustrating” Betty hugged her mug filled with hot chocolate and a few marshmallows

“Well, maybe that little tiny tiny crush is still there and last night was… a thing. I almost kissed him and I woke up like an octopus all over him and I said a few things that maybe I’m too embarrassed to admit now” Betty’s face went from shock, to containing a laugh in a few seconds

“That’s why you are hiding outside the house while having this conversation with me?”

“Betty you are my best friend. I just needed to get it out of my chest. I know I will have to go inside and have a long conversation with Peter about… a few things, but I need my head to be clearer. Any advice?”

“Always the truth, Em. Talk to him, talk about all your things and stop this nonsense or admit you both have feelings for each other and make this shit formal or whatever. Remember we are not in high school anymore” MJ knew Betty was right, they needed to talk. She needed to tell him about why she was Black Cat, why Rhino was a big problem and why he was always surrounded by other people all the time, and yes, she needed to talk to him about her feelings or their friendship was doomed

“Thanks Betty”

“You just wanted to hear me saying what you already knew” Maybe Betty was right, she knew that a long conversation between Peter and her was a real thing and maybe she wanted to get it out of her chest to make all her feelings and thoughts real and then she could tell Peter everything

“Then thanks again” she was really grateful with her friend

“When is this conversation going to happen?” She couldn't lose the courage that seemed to invade her in that instant, so she made a decision

“Now. I need to talk to him right now”

“If you need anything, I’m here for you”

MJ helped Betty to get up from the bench they were sitting in. They made their way to the cabin again and walked to the kitchen. Morgan was sitting on the breakfast table. She had a glass of milk and a few of the cookies that they decorated were on a little plate next to her milk

“Hey! The cookies were for Santa!” MJ told Peter she had saved some cookies for Santa but apparently Morgan had other plans

“Oh, no. It’s fine. These aren’t the same cookies you left for Santa. Its fine, Em” Morgan kept chewing her cookies while looking at the girls “Hangover?”

“Like hell” Betty answered and moved to the sink to wash her mug

“Not that bad. Peter gave me tons of water and painkillers as soon as I woke up” Peter was such a good friend, MJ appreciated that more than anything

“Speaking of which. He told me to tell you that he needs you. He’s probably with my dad and Ned at the back of the house”

“Thanks Morgan. See you Betty” MJ walked through the house. She needed to speak to Peter about everything before it was too late

“Hey MJ!!” May walked out from one of the rooms and scared MJ a little

“Oh! Hey May”

“I know we have met for a long time but I’m really happy you and Peter are together. He has a lot on his bag and knowing you are there for him is amazing. You both are so good for each other. Harold and I just wanted to say that” That’s exactly why they needed to talk. Everyone was going to be so sad about them not being together or finding out they “broke up” or worst, that everything was a lie

“He makes me really happy too. I’m on my way to find him”

“Then I’m not stopping you, love birds”

“Thanks May”

MJ kept walking thinking about what May told her, maybe they were good for each other, but as friends or more than friends? She needed to clarify that now. When she crossed the house to a backyard, she found Ned and Peter sitting together while talking. MJ tried to make some noise so they knew she was there. But as soon as she opened the door, Peter turned around to see her

“Hey MJ! Let’s make snow angels” His eyes were so bright MJ couldn’t even make fun of him like she could

“How old are you?” Ned answered Peter with a line that MJ could have use if she wasn’t so focused on Peter

“I actually will love that. I have never made snow angels” The two boys gasped at her comment

“We need to correct that immediately” Peter lifted from the ground and ran the small distance to MJ then grabbed her hand and lead the way somewhere with enough snow to do the snow angels. They both lied down on the floor and regret it. It was too cold and wet to be there but she was having fun. She was feeling happy.

MJ saw Ned get inside the house and call for Betty. She was there in a matter of seconds and they lied down next to Peter and MJ. Peter and Ned started moving their legs and arms to form the snow angels. Betty and MJ followed them between laughs and shivers from the cold snow. After that MJ knew that no matter what happened between her and Peter, they were always going to be friends and everyone in that house was going to support them

#spideychelle #spideychelle twelve days of promptmas #peter parker mcu #michelle jones mcu #ned leeds #betty brant #may parker #morgan stark #spideychelle fic

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takerfoxx · 4 years

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Notes on Restless

A day overdue, but here it is! My thoughts on writing Restless.

Restless is, in many ways, the most important arc in the story, not because it is the most plot or character significant (though it definitely is very important to both), but because it was one of the first, if not the first story arc I planned out, and have been cooking up in the back of my mind and working toward ever since this story started. And, as indicated by the title, it is one big reference to the Buffy the Vampire Slayer episode Restless, which is my favorite episode and also featured all of the main characters trapped in their little dream worlds.

What can I say; I like dream sequences!

In fact, and I know I have mentioned this a few times already, but it bears repeating the first chapter of this arc was literally the very first scene I thought up for this story, back when I was still in post-episode 9 depression and wanted nothing more for Kyoko and Oktavia to reunite somewhere and be happy together (well, the story definitely gives us the former, but, um, not really the latter, because I am still a sadist). If memory serves, my original vision had the two of them and Mami relaxing in a fantasy-world hot spring that had a bunch of big crystals everywhere (because I like crystals), only for them to be interrupted by the sound of something moving nearby, and, upon inspection, they would find the doll version of Charlotte watching them.

Obviously that scenario’s gone through a lot of fine-tuning, especially when it comes to Charlotte. And the crystals got moved to the end of the story after the hot spring had been removed, but hey, they still made the final cut. Regardless, I did settle on a finalized version some years ago, and the final cut came out more-or-less exactly as I envisioned, down to Mami and Charlotte going off alone for some, ah, quality time.

The only new addition was Jerky’s little scene and the Sayaka/Oktavia flirting sequence, and, well, that happened. I honestly don’t know if I’m even allowed to say much about it without getting into trouble with someone, even though I wrote it, but let’s just say the time has come to finally kick things into high gear on that end.

Okay, so onto the dreams!

Kyoko’s dream was of course the one I came up with first, and yet ended up being the shortest. I guess it’s because while she’s white-hot mess of issues, she’s at least a straightforward white-hot mess of issues, and honestly, it came out more-or-less how I initially planned years ago, with very little addition.

Now, Mephisto gave us a pretty clear breakdown of what the individual girls’ dreams meant thematically when she started torturing them directly, but it bears repeating that Kyoko’s dream was mainly dealing with her poor reaction to loss (the concept, not the meme), specifically the loss of Sayaka to Oktavia, and her stubborn and yet misguided quest to bring Sayaka back at any cost.

We start with a perfect repeat of her dream from waaaaaaaay back from chapter five, when she was first waking up from being drugged. I was originally just going to begin with the continuation, but it had been so long since that chapter that I just copied and pasted the original dream so we can have it in its entirety, which included the all-important image of Sayaka dissolving into silver fishes.

From there it’s mainly Kyoko’s singleminded quest to find Sayaka at any cost. And from there, we see her think that she’s found her time after time, only to be disappointed, from thinking that Madoka was Sayaka (and it’s a shame that they never interacted more beyond that single episode, as they had a good dynamic), to nearly catching the silver-fish Sayaka only to have her torn away, to finally finding the fake fish-faced conductor Sayaka, further establishing her inability to accept Oktavia as not being Sayaka. The hole that her father left in her heart and how deeply she misses him even with what he did does come up, but she abandons catching him once Kyubey makes it clear that doing so is impossible, as well as showing that while she still loves her father, part of her still does not forgive him and she truly believes that he went to Hell.

Also, was that the first time I’ve had Kyubey show up and have original dialogue? Because it might be!

Mephisto’s first appearance has her occupying the same role that she would in everyone’s dreams, that of a surly gatekeeper. She’s a bouncer in Kyoko’s dream, a ticket-taker/ride operator in Sayaka’s, a hostess in Mami’s, and a receptionist in Charlotte’s. And in each one, she lets the dreamer pass while making it clear that doing so is probably a bad idea. Her design was a lot of fun, though there truly is no significance to her rainbow dreadlocks, punk-rock aesthetic, or denim outfit, other than I liked the way they looked. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Annabelle Lee and the dockengauts have very short appearances in the nightclub, as despite all the pain they’ve put Kyoko through, she is still so singleminded in her pursuit that she considers them nothing more than obstacles to be overcome, which Annabelle Lee would probably be annoyed to hear.

As for Mami’s weird striptease, well, Kyoko is just now having to grapple with her own budding sexuality, and it stands to reason that Mami would have been an early crush for her. The “ending” though shows that while she’s more-or-less okay with Charlotte, she is still very aware of how Mami died.

Like Annabelle Lee, Elsa Maria would have the same role in everyone’s dream, the same role she had in Annabelle Lee’s feverish dream during the Help arc, that of the person who points the way to what the dreamer is seeking while still advising against it, which is always ignored. Though don’t read too much into her working with Mephisto in the end, as it’s not the real Elsa Maria and Mephisto is still the one in control.

And what better place for Kyoko, now Ophelia, to start her quest to find Sayaka for real than the same train station that she originally lost Sayaka in?

Anyway, while this chapter came out basically as originally envisioned, there are a couple things that I wish I had included, firstly a scene where Kyoko loses her necklace while being swept along by the current for Sayaka to find it later, and to have the sound of the crying child from the beginning to continue throughout the whole chapter, showing that she still hadn’t forgotten her quest to find her sister, as impossible as it might seem now.

Sayaka’s dream had largely to do with her and Oktavia’s issues with personal identity, and the dichotomy that Oktavia feels at all times, but translated through Sayaka’s eyes. In fact, bits and pieces of both their personalities are present through the circus (and given that Rumia’s dream took place in a circus in Imperfect Metamorphosis, it does just seem to be a recurring theme with me). The whole knight in shining armor for Sayaka is obvious, as is her sense of righteous justice as what Lily did. But her dynamics with the various characters that she comes across, her memories in general, her growing attraction to Kyoko, and her annoyance at being addressed incorrectly is all Oktavia.

It’s the two Kyoko encounters I want the highlight. The first at the shooting gallery shows that while Oktavia does love Kyoko, she is getting quite fed up with the constant nicknames in place of her actual name, while the second in the dunking tank shows her growing concern that Kyoko’s dogheaded persistence is only going to keep getting her hurt until there’s nothing left, as well as show her growing sexual attraction to Kyoko as she is progressively more stripped.

Mami and Charlotte’s brief appearance was in part to get them on the dream, and so show that that while Oktavia cares for them deeply, she’s not nearly as worried about them as she is Kyoko, hence why they’re here so briefly. Also, them pushing Ticky Nikki around in a stroller, aside from being Nikki’s only appearance this whole arc, was also a tip of the hat to the original Restless episode from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, as Giles’s dream had him and his girlfriend pushing a stroller around through a carnival in the middle of a graveyard.

The Freakshow was a mixture of the traumatic monsters both Sayaka and Oktavia had to encounter, from the various witch familiars and to Gertrud, the first witch Sayaka ever saw, to the witch form of Charlotte, who traumatized Sayaka deeply, to Brooklyn, who briefly showed up earlier and was sort of Oktavia’s nemesis in The Heist and targeted her specifically, which left a mark.

And that whole business with Annabelle Lee “pouring” Kyoko into the tank was to lean more into dream logic, where deeply personal fears tend to be translated through nonsensical imagery. I’ve had plenty of dreams where I’d “lose” a close friend or family member because they got turned into a jar of dried corn or something and I’d just be so devastated and obsessed with turning said corn back into my loved one, and it’d be very serious and emotional, and it wouldn’t be until I had woken up that I’d realize, “Dude, dried corn?” Plus, her guilt about stabbing Annabelle Lee was a reference to Sayaka’s own increasing guilt when she realized that she wasn’t the shining hero she had wanted to be.

The clown dance is pretty self-explanatory, in that Sayaka spent so much time killing witches and treating them like monsters only to become a witch herself. Plus, given how quick her downfall was, it serves to reason that she would think of herself as a clown. Plus, I just like Lily as a character, and wanted any excuse to use her as much as possible.

The whole bit with the train station acting as the loading gate for the roller-coaster is also fairly obvious. That’s where Sayaka became Oktavia, hence the cart turning into the wheelchair, or the coaster track leading into Oktavia’s barrier. I’m honestly not too thrilled about the coaster going through Genocide City, because while having it make an appearance makes sense, since it’s literally Oktavia’s first memory, but if I recall, I had the hardest time settling on a location for the rollercoaster to ride through before heading into the castle. I tried Freehaven, the outside of the high school, and returning to the circus itself before just settling with Genocide City, which honestly was chosen mainly because the deadline was coming up and I had to go with something. I guess it works though.

There really isn’t much to say about the reversed Kyoko/Oktavia fight, as it’s literally just a perspective flip of their final battle. Incredibly important and significant as it embodies the entirety of Sayaka’s aspect as the “Monster” of her dream and hammered in her connection to Kyoko? Absolutely. Has much that I can explain that isn’t literally sitting right on the surface? Nope.

We do get Mephisto basically spelling out Sayaka’s contradictory identity in her final days though, in which she was the valiant knight she always wanted to be, she was the damsel in distress that Madoka and Kyoko tried and failed to rescue, and she was the monster holding that damsel captive. No doubt that part was inspired by the meme of the Dragonborn princess paladin who was hired to rescue herself from herself.

From there, the “Monster” is slain, and the cute mermaid Oktavia von Seckendorff is born, the only time during her own dream that she makes a full appearance. She then is treated to a montage of Sayaka’s memories, but of course, they mean nothing to her.

However, I would like to point out what amounted to the payoff of a joke I had set up literally years ago. Readers of all my stuff might remember that way back in Rhapsody of Subconscious Desire, another story that took place in a dream world, Kaguya Houraisan was split into two identical copies of herself, called Head and Body, who encountered Oktavia swimming around in a large aquarium, who in turn shot them a rude gesture and swam off. Here, we finally see the inverse of that scene, which is why a couple of previously unseen twin girls showed up with no explanation.

Next is where the dreams start to converge. Oktavia finds Kyoko’s necklace (which, again, I wish I had included in Kyoko’s dream. Maybe in time I’ll go back and edit it in) and meets the silver fish’s from Kyoko’s dream, absorbing them and turning fully into the princess and, as a result, Sayaka Miki finally returns in full.

Funny thing about that.

At this point, I didn’t know how much the whole Sayaka thing would play out, and originally she would just be Oktavia in a dress. But after having Sayaka’s memories intrude again and again, I thought, “Huh, wouldn’t it be fun if she just became Sayaka again for a short time? Have a weird inverse of the Oktavia situation?” and went ahead and did it.

This choice led to…major consequences.

Mami’s dream is next, and despite being the one that I literally had planned out the least ahead of time, ended up being the most fun to write. Naturally, her dream dreams with her immense guilt over having been Kyubey’s poster girl for so long, helping him ensnare several innocent girls into his scheme as well as kill them off herself when they became witches. Also, it served as a little nod to Candeloro’s job as a baker in WN. Anyway, the whole thing was heavily influenced by Sweeney Todd, in that victims are misled into doing something they think is innocent, only for them to be gruesomely murdered and sent off to be turned into food.

The world of candles is just something I thought would be neat imagery, so infer from it what you wish. However, it is interesting to note that Mami is the only one to have a dream that features Annabelle Lee as the persistent antagonist that she is, showing up over and over to antagonize her. There wasn’t an intended reason for this, but come to think of it, with Kyoko focused on her endgame, Oktavia just wanting her friends to be safe, and Charlotte obsessed with what was lost, Mami would be the one most living in the nowness of their situation, convinced that she is finally in Hell for her sins.

In the restaurant, Mami is indirectly guilt-tripped by Shizuku for essentially abandoning all of her responsibilities to help Kyoko, and is then given a choice: abandon her quest and stay with her loved ones, or continue on with her “duty” despite all warning signs, thereby sealing her own destruction. Charlotte even goes so far as to beg her directly to not go on, but Mami refuses, saying over and over again that she is, “On the clock,” signifying how being a magical girl essentially took over her entire life after her parents’ death, and how full she threw herself into it to shield herself from her own loneliness.

And from then on, her fate is sealed.

While descending the long staircase, the father of Mami’s occasionally mentioned former crush Ryu Hagane shows up to chastise her for throwing her life way in making her contract, and then Mami’s actual love Charlotte shows up on the big TV to remind Mami of what she was now throwing away, and curiously, when she brings out the doll version of herself, it’s not to remind her of how Charlotte kill Mami (though the worms coming out of the doll’s mouth shows that Mami still hasn’t forgotten), but to remind her of how Mami had tried to kill Charlotte upon their first meeting, as her own guilt is more powerful than even the trauma from having her own head bitten off. Annabelle Lee emerges again, and in the process, the staircase is destroyed. Mami’s choice was made. There is going back.

Sure enough, when she enters the classroom, the marionette corpse of Kazuko Saotome (a reference to how she was killed and eaten in the Oriko timeline, in addition to just being very creepy) spells out to Mami’s face what an idiot she was for trusting Kyubey, how many lives she had ruined by doing so, finishing with Homura showing up to basically say, “I told you so.”

Annabelle Lee attacks again, and Mami is sent into a montage of battles she has fought since their disastrous adventure begun, but with each of her assailants being replaced at the last second by one of her friends, showing that even after forgiveness, she still feels like she’s their murderer, as well as driving home the point that in all of her battles to defend herself over the course of this story, she was still just fighting and hurting other magical girls, and regardless of which side they were on, they were all still victims of the same scam.

Annabelle Lee is finally defeated and put down, but there is no victory, only horror at what Mami had done. She flees, but finally finds herself in the Hell she always felt that she deserved, pursued by the zombified corpses of all the monsters that had defeated her, from Lily, who had stolen her mind and made her commit atrocities, to the wild girls, whom she had slaughtered, to the Worm, whom had killed her in her arrogance.

She escapes, but that just leads her back to the bakery, signifying that no matter what, the second she had made that contract she had been doomed. It didn’t matter if she was leaping through the sky in an extravagant outfit, effortlessly defeating monsters with her magic, or if she was sinking into her own despair with a darkening soul gem, it was all the same. She was just food for the Incubators, to be chewed up and discarded, thrown into the mouth of the Worm and run down by the same vehicle that had killed her parents.

She then wakes up in the hospital, reliving a twisted version of when she had been recovered from the car wreck that had taken her parents, taking her back to her first sin that still haunted her: only saving her own life with her wish and letting her parents die. And thus, she is turned into the same monster she had spent the last few years fighting: the witch, Candeloro.

The whole bit in the hospital was a twisted version of what it must have been like for the original Mami to wake up in the hospital and learn that her parents had died. No doubt Mephisto’s dream doctors would have continued to further twist the knife had Ophelia and Sayaka not violently intervened (which gives us a rare case of blood instead of mist). And Candeloro is brought into the party, and with a Cyberpunk reference no less!

Charlotte’s dream comes last, and in my opinion, is the most multi-layered. The bulk is focused on how bitter she is at having her perfect life with her wife stolen away and how many people she resents for it, her own feelings of helplessness at being unable to prevent it, and also it addresses her own guilt at having killed Mami to begin with and how much she fears the return of the Worm that did it, but also she seems to be the only person that has some subconscious awareness of how Homura is timelooping them over and over again, forcing them to relive the same torturous sequence of events (probably has something to do with Homura being the one who killed her after she ate Mami).

In the first loop, Mami is taken by Annabelle Lee, and Charlotte is totally helpless to stop her. This is pretty obvious: Annabelle Lee has been a thorn in her side since day one. It was because of her that they were ambushed in Cloudbreak and forced into their horrible adventure. And more directly, it was because of Annabelle Lee that they fell into the Etherdale to begin with, leading to them all being enslaved by Lily and Charlotte and Mami being forced to commit atrocities.

Also, it’s hinted that the city that Charlotte is forced to march through is the same one Kyoko had been following her father through in her dream, indicating that their minds are already crossing over.

The second is a little more complicated. Yes, Charlotte and Kyoko are on better terms. Yes, they’re getting along. Yes, Kyoko apologized and they bonded. But if it weren’t for Kyoko, then none of this would have ever happened. If it weren’t for Kyoko, Charlotte wouldn’t have lost her home, wouldn’t have been targeted by Reibey, and wouldn’t have to suffer being pursued by dockengauts and valks, two creatures that she has an acute phobia of. So there is still some hard feelings there.

The third is when Charlotte is forced to confront something about herself, that no matter how many people she blames, her own actions still played a part as well. Now she is the one riding the Worm. She is the one who cost Mami her life. And in the hospital, it was her misguided wish that cost her her mother, whether she knows it or not, as well as why she became a witch in the first place.

Couple notes about the hospital: first, the cheese slices do signify how Charlotte threw her wish away for something as stupid as cheesecake, but are also another reference to the original Restless, in which a man carrying cheese slices shows up in each of the characters dreams, just to be weird.

Also, Charlotte’s magical girl outfit was in part inspired by a 4koma MamiLotte doujin from before The Rebellion Story, in which Charlotte becomes human again and crushes on Mami big time. And her outfit consists of a double-breasted coat and skirt. Also there were parts taken from the character notes from Walpurgisnacht, in which one of her familiars is an early draft of Human!Charlotte, before Nagisa had been designed, and she’s depicted holding a staff topped with the wrapped candy charm.

The final loop is where Charlotte fully becomes Nozomi (a name I think I just took from another fanfic that gave her that name) and finally defeats the Worm, this time ridden by Homura Akemi. After all, Homura Akemi is the one resetting things over and over again, forcing Charlotte to relive the same terrible events over and over. And as for that rooftop meeting…well, explaining that would be telling, so infer what you will.

The next chapter is mainly spent playing catch-up, gathering all the characters together and pushing toward the final battle with Mephisto. Here, things get less symbolic and more character based, so there’s a lot less to explain. Ophelia’s path of destruction through Sayaka’s carnival and Mami’s school are basically in line with lucid dreaming, in that once you know that you’re in a dream, everything just feels so much less solid, leading Ophelia to take down the ravaged versions of Brooklyn and Annabelle Lee with ease. Also, that scene with her talking to the dying Lily was an American Gods reference, which featured a similar scene.

So let’s talk about the big thing with this chapter. Let’s talk about Sayaka.

Originally the plan was to go straight from Charlotte’s dream to the fight with Mephisto, but then I realized what a bad idea that is. I mean, Sayaka was back! It’s something that’s been hinted and talked about all through the story’s run, but now it’s actually a thing. The original Sayaka Miki, the one that fell into despair and became a witch, is now back, and without having merged with Oktavia and gaining her memories. She’s thrown literally into the middle of things, during the gang’s weirdest adventure yet. And, it should be noted, her most recent memory is literally sitting with Kyoko in the train station, right before she became Oktavia. That is one hell of a bad day.

Obviously she reacts poorly, and who can blame her? And give her credit, she pulled herself together pretty quickly. However, she did pick up very quickly on Kyoko’s feelings for her. And why shouldn’t we just start saying it? It’s obvious to everyone! But obviously, as short as it was, Sayaka’s brief return will have major consequences that will play out over time.

Anyway, obviously everyone else has their own identity crisis. Mami turns fully into Candeloro, which provides a measure of relief from her own shame, while Kyoko as Ophelia is the rare witch that remembers everything while still sticking fully to her witch identity.

As for Charlotte, her case as Charzomi is easily the weirdest, with her constantly shifting back and forth between Charlotte and Nozomi, and her own memories fading in and out, forcing her to work extra hard to stay focused. It’s been suggested that this might serve as a metaphor for gender fluidity, and while this wasn’t the intention and thus I can’t speak to its accuracy, I can see and support the applicability. Still haven’t worked out what the long-term consequences of that will be, but I do want this to play into her future character development.

The walk up the tongue was mainly me realizing that the fighting was going to start soon, and Sayaka was going away right after, so I had one last opportunity to make the most out of her presence and I was determined not to waste it.

So we ticked off the boxes on everything we ought to address with her. She cleared the air with Charlotte over having to watch Mami get eaten. She finally got to hug Mami (well, Candeloro anyway) and got everything she wanted to say off her chest. And with Ophelia, she naturally wants to know more about exactly what Kyoko has been getting up to with Sayaka’s other self.

Sayaka again confronts Ophelia about how she feels about her (or, well, Oktavia, or maybe Sayaka? It’s weird), and naturally she is kind of freaked out by it. Remember, from her point of view, her relationship with Kyoko had been nothing but antagonistic. Whether Kyoko had been attacking her or trying to help her, Sayaka always resented her presence, so now suddenly being dropped into the middle of things and learning that her one-time rival now has a thing for her? Well, can you blame her for getting a little freaked out?

Also, it’s worth pointing out how the script had been flipped with everyone’s new identities. Now it’s Ophelia and Candeloro with the witch names, while Sayaka still thinks of them using their old names, causing them discomfort, but she has no problem calling Charzomi whatever because they had just met and she didn’t care.

And then we get to the fight, and of course it has to be a pro wrestling match. I’d also like to point out that there were a lot of songs I wanted to use for this chapter but was unsure of where to put each one. Originally the climb up the tongue was just going to have generic thrash metal playing the background, while Mephisto’s entrance theme was going to start with Mr. Sandman, only to transition into Bad Reputation (which is Ronda Rousey’s RL entrance theme), but then I was like, I should put Welcome to My Nightmare in there somewhere. And then I remembered that Cult of Personality is a thing, which is also CM Punk’s entrance theme, so I finally decided to move the first three songs to the tongue scene and have CoP as Mephisto’s entrance music.

And finally, we come to the last chapter. The magical girl fight scene was another one of those checklist things I wanted to have so long as I had Sayaka around. That way, I could actually build some real KyoSaya moments to make the KyoTavi angst all the more potent, as Sayaka realizes that she is developing an attraction to Kyoko as they fight side-by-side, letting me recreate that magical little moment from The Rebellion Story in which Sayaka basically confesses in the middle of the battle, complete with Charlotte ruining the mood.

I’ll admit, I kind of skimped out on Mephisto’s witch design and didn’t give it as much thought as I could have, but that part was never important. The important part was to recreate a classic witch fight and let the girls interact during it. I am proud of the Charlotte’s Web joke though.

What happens next is to establish that it doesn’t matter how hard they fight or how smart they are, they simply cannot beat Mephisto now. She’s taken complete control, enough to flick them through their various personas on a whim turning them into Puella Magi, then to human!witches (basically the Walpurgis Nights girls), then to full witches, then to the classic squad from the bulk of the story (bringing Oktavia back briefly), then to vanilla humans. It doesn’t matter. Mephisto has them, and can do whatever she wants.

From there, she separates them again and subjects them to a condensed version of their previous dreams, with the same themes but different imagery. Kyoko is subjected to a sermon about her poor responses to loss from her dead father, as he really lays into her over how much damage she had done. And I gotta admit, even I felt pretty bad just for writing that scene. Because I know torturing Kyoko is kind of this story’s MO, but damn.

Sayaka is a little more nuanced. Yes, the identity issues from her own dream are brought up, but it’s more focused on a new issues: mainly, now that Sayaka is back, she not only has to grapple with all the weirdness that she’s been thrust into, but also with essentially having been replaced. We see the vision of her friends getting along happily without her, the friends she had pushed away and alienated having moved on without her, Madoka basically having replaced her entirely with Homura. Of course this is not reflected in reality, as by this point in the world of the living they probably haven’t even found Sayaka’s body yet due to the time difference, but it is definitely that Sayaka would easily believe.

The next part is basically the whole reason for bringing Sayaka back in this manner. Mephisto then shows Sayaka a real memory that of Oktavia spending time with Kyoko, Mami, and Charlotte and being loved and accepted by them.

Sayaka’s character arc in the original series was driven by her letting her insecurities cause her to overcompensate and destroy herself, and Oktavia has largely been characterized as what Sayaka would be like if she didn’t have those insecurities. Sure, she’s had the shadow of the original Sayaka hanging over her, but for the most part this hasn’t seemed to bother her much, aside from getting annoyed at being called the wrong name, but it’s been taken for granted that sooner or later being thought of as Sayaka instead of herself by Kyoko was going to come to a head.

But here we have one of those happy unplanned gold veins, something I hadn’t planned on doing but am thrilled gets to happen now: we have Sayaka being forced to come to terms with living in Oktavia’s shadow.

Yes, they’re the same person. Yes, Oktavia is just Sayaka with her memory wiped and many of her self-destructive issues cleared away. But as WN demonstrated, it’s not as clear cut as that, and there is still some degree of separation between the two. And the infamously self-loathing Sayaka would most certainly be messed up by being confronted by a version of herself that people like and enjoy being around, that doesn’t feel the need to prove anything. And this is coming right off the heels of her realizing that she might have feelings for Kyoko after all (even if that is in part because of her empathetic connection to Oktavia), only to have it thrown in her face that it was Oktavia that Kyoko really loved, when she herself never did anything other than push Kyoko away. Granted, she had good reason for doing so, given that the first thing Kyoko did was try to kill her, but the point stands.

The Kyoko/Oktavia dynamic has always been messy due to Sayaka’s constant presence, but I kind of feel that that was unfair to Sayaka herself, as she deserves better than just being a memory, and I wanted her to have an actual voice in the whole deal, to be able to express her own feelings about it, even if it does complicate an already incredibly complicated situation.

Anyway, the next bit is pretty self-explanatory, with Mephisto further twisting the knife by replaying Sayaka’s last conversation with Madoka and really driving home what a wreck Sayaka had been at the time. Remember, from Sayaka’s point of view, that whole moment was only a few hours ago, at most!

Mami’s was very interesting, because the whole trial bit is self-explanatory, but it’s actually a reference to the bizarre trial that made up the final episode of the classic mindscrew TV show The Prisoner, which featured a jury wearing masks, the plaintiff sitting on an ornate chair on a raised platform, witnesses being pulled out of steam-filled holes, and an extended singalong of Dry Bones. Granted, I mainly knew about it because Reboot, one of my favorite shows, also referenced it in a dream episode of their own, but I liked that episode, and wanted to rip it off.

For the witnesses, we first get the expected faces from the show itself, but we also get a few new ones. Brooke Alexander was already named once before when Mami was reflecting on the various girls she had trained, Janice Goldberg was made up specifically for this scene, but we also get Michiru Kazusa, from the really weird spin-off manga Kazumi Magica, who was established as having a past with Mami. Kazumi Magica had its problems, but I did like a lot of the characters (i.e. The Twins), so this seemed like a good time to bring in another one.

Charlotte’s dream is the most straightforward, as it’s basically just her first dream condensed into a claw machine. What I wanted to put focus on was that Charlotte is the one character that knows who Mephisto is, as her role as the team scholar who does the most reading, she would actually have heard of the Ideal Witches, and thus would really understand just how much trouble they were all in.

And at the end of each segment, Mephisto gives each of them the same offer: submit willingly and be given a pleasant fantasy while Mephisto digests their souls, or continue to resist and get digested anyway, only in eternal torment. And her offer would give them each what they wanted the most. Kyoko wants her loved ones back, Sayaka wants to be loved and appreciated, Mami wants forgiveness, and Charlotte just wants to go home. And in light of what they were facing, can any of them be blamed for wanting to take Mephisto up on her offer?

Enter Jerky.

Jerky was a ton of fun to write for, and judging by the overwhelming positive response to his segments, bringing in the baby space raptor was a good idea. Like I’ve said before, his bits were one big love letter to Raptor Red, a novel by paleontologist Robert Bakker which tells of the life and times of a female Utahraptor from the Utahraptor’s point of view. And the nice thing about Jerky is that he’s smart enough to know the does and don’ts, but simple enough to be uncomplicated. He’s an animal. An exceptionally smart animal, but still an animal. He knows that he loves Kyoko and is loyal to her, he’s been made to understand that he can’t let Charlotte, Mami, and Oktavia see him, and he knows that Kyoko’s skin is softer than his and he needs to be careful, but beyond that he couldn’t care less of their various issues. It’s refreshingly simple.

As such, when confronted with a complete inexplicable threat such as Mephisto, something well beyond his ability to comprehend, he’s worried, he’s scared, he doesn’t know what to do, so he defaults to his predatory instincts.

When in doubt, start biting.

And it does the trick, because something that needs to be said is that while the Ideal Witches are powerful, they’re not omnipotent. Mephisto needed to lure the girls in and submerge them fully in her dream in order to control them the way that she did, but in the real world, she was vulnerable once she had manifested fully, allowing Kyoko to break free long enough to fire the final shot.

In the end, everyone escapes, but not unscathed. Kyoko especially had been scarred even further, in part from the dream of her father, but also from having to watch Sayaka basically die again, leading to her reaching what very well might be her breaking point. Mami’s slipping deeper into depression, having been forced to once again confront all the damage she unwittingly did as a magical girl, Charlotte is fully fed up with everything that had happened to them. And Oktavia? Well, now that it’s been shown that Sayaka Miki can and has come back, suddenly her own identity issues are going to become worse. She’s really going to have to grapple with Sayaka being an actual person with a legitimate claim to her body, especially since when Sayaka came back, she effectively traded places with Oktavia instead of merging with her. That’s gotta be scary.

At the very least, Kyoko did not reject Oktavia. In some way, she does understand that Oktavia is her own person, and she’s coming to respect that. But there are some deep wounds having to do with Oktavia’s creation, and they’re both going to have to come to terms with a great many things in the days to come.

And at the very end, it’s shown that Mephisto is weakened but still alive, and she’s pissed! We also learn that one of the girls did accept Mephisto’s offer before she was defeated, so that’s definitely going to come up later. And we meet the rest of the Ideal Witches. Obviously there is more to come with them, so I will say nothing further.

Anyway, I guess that’s it. Feel free to message me if you want anything explained further, or just make your own interpretations. Either is fine.

#resonance days #restless

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NEW LIBRARY MATERIAL September 2020 - February 2021

Bibliography

Sorted by Call Number / Author.

011.7 F

Fadiman, Clifton, 1904-1999. The new lifetime reading plan / : the classical guide to world literature, Revised and expanded. 4th ed. New York : HarperCollins Publishers, 1999, c1997.

155.2 G

Gladwell, Malcolm, 1963-. David and Goliath : underdogs, misfits, and the art of battling giants. First edition. Goliath : "Am I a dog that you should come to me with sticks?" -- The Advantages of Disadvantages (and the Disadvantages of Advantages). Vivek Ranadiv©♭: "It was really random. I mean, my father had never played basketball before." ; Teresa DeBrito: "My largest class was twenty-nine kids. Oh, it was fun." ; Caroline Sacks: "If I'd gone to the University of Maryland, I'd still be in science. -- The Theory of Desirable Difficulty. David Boies: You wouldn't wish dyslexia on your child. Or would you? ; Emil "Jay" Freireich: "How Jay did it, I don't know." ; Wyatt Walker: "De rabbit is de slickest o' all de animals de Lawd ever made." -- The Limits of Power. Rosemary Lawlor: "I wasn't born that way. This was forced upon me." ; Wilma Derksen: "We have all done something dreadful in our lives, or have felt the urge to." ; Andr©♭ Trocm©♭: "We feel obliged to tell you that there are among us a certain number of Jews.". This book uncovers the hidden rules that shape the balance between the weak and the mighty and the powerful and the dispossessed. In it the author challenges how we think about obstacles and disadvantages, offering a new interpretation of what it means to be discriminated against, or cope with a disability, or lose a parent, or attend a mediocre school, or suffer from any number of other apparent setbacks. He begins with the real story of what happened between the giant and the shepherd boy (David and Goliath) those many years ago. From there, the book examines Northern Ireland's Troubles, the minds of cancer researchers and civil rights leaders, murder and the high costs of revenge, and the dynamics of successful and unsuccessful classrooms, all to demonstrate how much of what is beautiful and important in the world arises from what looks like suffering and adversity. -- From book jacket.

170 H

Haidt, Jonathan, author. The happiness hypothesis : finding modern truth in ancient wisdom. Paperback edition. "The Happiness Hypothesis is a book about ten Great Ideas. Each chapter is an attempt to savor one idea that has been discovered by several of the world's civilizations--to question it in light of what we now know from scientific research, and to extract from it the lessons that still apply to our modern lives and illuminate the causes of human flourishing. Award-winning psychologist Jonathan Haidt shows how a deeper understanding of the world's philosophical wisdom and its enduring maxims--like "do unto others as you would have others do unto you," or "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger"--can enrich and even transform our lives."--Back cover.

171 K

Kohn, Alfie. The brighter side of human nature : altruism and empathy in everyday life. New York : Basic Books, c1990.

305.5 W

Wilkerson, Isabel, author. Caste : the origins of our discontents. First edition. The man in the crowd -- Toxins in the permafrost and heat rising all around -- The arbitrary construction of human divisions -- The eight pillars of caste -- The tentacles of caste -- The consequences of caste -- Backlash -- Awakening -- Epilogue: A world without caste. "In this brilliant book, Isabel Wilkerson gives us a masterful portrait of an unseen phenomenon in America as she explores, through an immersive, deeply researched narrative and stories about real people, how America today and throughout its history has been shaped by a hidden caste system, a rigid hierarchy of human rankings. Beyond race, class, or other factors, there is a powerful caste system that influences people's lives and behavior and the nation's fate. Linking the caste systems of America, India, and Nazi Germany, Wilkerson explores eight pillars that underlie caste systems across civilizations, including divine will, bloodlines, stigma, and more. Using riveting stories about people--including Martin Luther King, Jr., baseball's Satchel Paige, a single father and his toddler son, Wilkerson herself, and many others--she shows the ways that the insidious undertow of caste is experienced every day. She documents how the Nazis studied the racial systems in America to plan their out-cast of the Jews; she discusses why the cruel logic of caste requires that there be a bottom rung for those in the middle to measure themselves against; she writes about the surprising health costs of caste, in depression and life expectancy, and the effects of this hierarchy on our culture and politics. Finally, she points forward to ways America can move beyond the artificial and destructive separations of human divisions, toward hope in our common humanity. Beautifully written, original, and revealing, Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents is an eye-opening story of people and history, and a reexamination of what lies under the surface of ordinary lives and of America life today."--.

305.8 W

Williamson, Joel. A rage for order : Black/White relations in the American South since emancipation. New York, NY : Oxford University Press, 1968. Full ed.: published as The crucible of race. 1984. Traces the history of race relations, examines changing public attitudes, and tells the stories of those involved in Civil Rights movement.

305.9 P

Pipher, Mary Bray. The middle of everywhere : the world's refugees come to our town. First edition. Cultural collisions on the Great Plains -- The beautiful laughing sisters-an arrival story -- Into the heart of the heartland -- All that glitters ... -- Children of hope, children of tears -- Teenagers--Mohammed meets Madonna -- Young adults--"Is there a marriage broker in Lincoln?"-- Family--"A bundle of sticks cannot be broken" -- African stories -- Healing in all times and places -- Home-a global positioning system for identity -- Building a village of kindness. Offers the tales of refugees who have escaped countries riddled by conflict and ripped apart by war to realize their dream of starting a new life in America, detailing their triumph over adversity.

306.4 P

Pollan, Michael. The botany of desire : a plant's-eye view of the world. Random House trade pbk. ed. New York : Random House, 2002. Desire : sweetness, plant : the apple (Malus domestica) -- Desire : beauty, plant : the tulip (Tulipa) -- Desire : intoxication, plant : marijuana (Cannabis sativa x indica) -- Desire : control, plant : the potato (Solanum tuberosum). Focusing on the human relationship with plants, the author of Second nature uses botany to explore four basic human desires, sweetness, beauty, intoxication, and control, through portraits of four plants that embody them, the apple, tulip, marijuana, and potato. Every school child learns about the mutually beneficial dance of honeybees and flowers; the bee collects nectar and pollen to make honey and, in the process, spreads the flowers' genes far and wide. In The botany of desire, Michael Pollan ingeniously demonstrates how people and domesticated plants have formed a similarly reciprocal relationship. In telling the stories of four familiar species that are deeply woven into the fabric of our lives, Pollan illustrates how the plants have evolved to satisfy humankind's most basic yearnings. And just as we've benefited from these plants, the plants have done well by us. So who is really domesticating whom?.

307.1 I

Immerwahr, Daniel, 1980-. Thinking small : the United States and the lure of community development. First Harvard University Press paperback edition 2018. Cambridge, MA : Harvard University Press, 2015. Preface: Modernization, development, and community -- Introduction: Actually existing localism -- When small was big -- Development without modernization -- Peasantville -- Grassroots empire -- Urban villages -- Epilogue: What is dead and what is undead in community development?.

323.60973 I

In the hands of the people : Thomas Jefferson on equality, faith, freedom, compromise, and the art of citizenship. First edition. New York, NY : Random House, 2020. "Thomas Jefferson believed in the covenant between a government and its citizens, in both the government's responsibilities to its people and also the people's responsibility to the republic. In this illuminating collection, a project of the Thomas Jefferson Foundation, #1 New York Times bestselling author Jon Meacham has gathered Jefferson's most powerful and provocative reflections on the subject, drawn from public speeches and documents as well as his private correspondence. Still relevant centuries later, Jefferson's words provide a manual for U.S. citizenship in the twenty-first century. His thoughts will re-shape and revitalize the way readers relate to concepts including Freedom: "Divided we stand, united we fall." The importance of a free press:"Were it left to me to decide whether we should have a government without newspapers, or newspapers without a government, I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter." Public education: "Enlighten the public generally, and tyranny and oppressions of body & mind will vanish like evil spirits at the dawn of day." Participation in government: A citizen should be "a participator in the government of affairs not merely at an election, one day in the year, but every day.""-- Provided by publisher.

324.6 P

Terborg-Penn, Rosalyn. African American women in the struggle for the vote, 1850-1920. Bloomington : Indiana University Press, c1998. Revisiting the question of race in the woman suffrage movement -- African American women in the first generation of woman suffragists : 1850-1869 -- African American woman suffragists finding their own voices : 1870s and 1880s -- Suffrage strategies and ideas : African American women leaders respond during "the nadir" -- Mobilizing to win the vote : African American women's organizations -- Anti-black woman suffrage tactics and African American women's responses -- African American women as voters and candidates -- The nineteenth amendment and its meaning for African American women. This study of African American women's roles in the suffrage movement breaks new ground. Rosalyn Terborg-Penn draws from many original documents to take a comprehensive look at the African American women who sought the right to vote. She discovers numerous Black suffragists previously unknown. Analyzing the women's own stories, she examines why they joined the woman suffrage movement in the United States and how they participated in it - with white women, Black men, as members of African American women's organizations, or simultaneously in all three. Terborg-Penn further discusses their various levels of interaction and types of feminist philosophy. Noting that not all African American woman suffragists were from elite circles, Terborg-Penn finds representation from working-class and professional women as well.They came from all parts of the nation. Some employed radical, others conservative means to gain the right to vote. Black women, however, were unified in working to use the ballot to improve not only their own status, but the lives of Black people in their communities. Drawing from innumerable sources, Terborg-Penn argues that sexism and racism prevented African American women from voting and from full participation in the national suffrage movement. Following the ratification of the Nineteenth Amendment, state governments in the South, enacted policies which disfranchised African American women, with many white suffragists closing their eyes to the discriminatory acts. Despite efforts to keep Black women politically powerless, Terborg-Penn contends that the Black suffrage was a source of empowerment. Every political and racial effort to keep African American women disfranchised met with their active resistance until Black women achieved full citizenship.

326.80922 B

Brands, H. W., author. The zealot and the emancipator : John Brown, Abraham Lincoln and the struggle for American freedom. First Edition. Pottawatomie -- Springfield -- Harpers Ferry -- The telegraph office. "What do moral people do when democracy countenances evil? The question, implicit in the idea that people can govern themselves, came to a head in America at the middle of the nineteenth century, in the struggle over slavery. John Brown's answer was violence--violence of a sort some in later generations would call terrorism. Brown was a deeply religious man who heard the God of the Old Testament speaking to him, telling him to do whatever was necessary to destroy slavery. When Congress opened Kansas territory to slavery, the eerily charismatic Brown raised a band of followers to wage war against the evil institution. One dark night his men tore several proslavery settlers from their homes and hacked them to death with broadswords, as a bloody warning to others. Three years later Brown and his men assaulted the federal arsenal at Harpers Ferry, Virginia, with the goal of furnishing slaves with weapons to murder their masters in a race war that would cleanse the nation of slavery once and for all. Abraham Lincoln's answer was politics. Lincoln was an ambitious lawyer and former office-holder who read the Bible not for moral guidance but as a writer's primer. He disliked slavery yet didn't consider it worth shedding blood over. He distanced himself from John Brown and joined the moderate wing of the new, antislavery Republican party. He spoke cautiously and dreamed big, plotting his path to Washington and perhaps the White House. Yet Lincoln's caution couldn't preserve him from the vortex of violence Brown set in motion. Arrested and sentenced to death, Brown comported himself with such conviction and dignity on the way to the gallows that he was canonized in the North as a martyr to liberty. Southerners responded in anger and horror that a terrorist was made into a saint. Lincoln shrewdly threaded the needle of the fracturing country and won election as president, still preaching moderation. But the time for moderation had passed. Slaveholders lumped Lincoln with Brown as an enemy of the Southern way of life; seven Southern states left the Union. Lincoln resisted secession, and the Civil War followed. At first a war for the Union, it became the war against slavery Brown had attempted to start. Before it was over, slavery had been destroyed, but so had Lincoln's faith that democracy can resolve its moral crises peacefully"--.

328.73 M

Meacham, Jon, author. His truth is marching on : John Lewis and the power of hope. First edition. Overture: the last march -- A hard life, a serious life -- The spirit of history -- Soul force -- In the image of God and democracy -- We are going to make you wish you was dead -- I'm going to die here -- This country don't run on love -- Epilogue: against the rulers of the darkness. "John Lewis, who at age twenty-five marched in Selma and was beaten on the Edmund Pettus Bridge, is a visionary and a man of faith. Using intimate interviews with Lewis and his family and deep research into the history of the civil rights movement, Meacham writes of how the activist and leader was inspired by the Bible, his mother's unbreakable spirit, his sharecropper father's tireless ambition, and his teachers in nonviolence, Reverend James Lawson and Martin Luther King, Jr. A believer in hope above all else, Lewis learned from a young age that nonviolence was not only a tactic but a philosophy, a biblical imperative, and a transforming reality. At the age of four, Lewis, ambitious to become a preacher, practiced by preaching to the chickens he took care of. When his mother cooked one of the chickens, the boy refused to eat it--his first act of non-violent protest. Integral to Lewis's commitment to bettering the nation was his faith in humanity and in God, and an unshakable belief in the power of hope. Meacham calls Lewis "as important to the founding of a modern and multiethnic twentieth- and twenty-first century America as Thomas Jefferson and James Madison and Samuel Adams were to the initial creation of the nation-state in the eighteenth century. He did what he did--risking limb and life to bear witness for the powerless in the face of the powerful--not in spite of America, but because of America, and not in spite of religion, but because of religion"--.

333.95 W

Wilson, Edward O. A window on eternity : a biologist's walk through Gorongosa National Park. First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition. Prologue: The Search for Eternity -- The Sacred Mountain of Mozambique -- Once There Were Giants -- War and Redemption -- Dung and Blood -- The Twenty-Foot Crocodile -- The Elephant Whisperer -- The House of Spiders -- The Clash of Insect Civilizations -- The Log of an Entomological Expedition -- The Struggle for Existence -- The Conservation of Eternity. "E.O. Wilson, one of the most celebrated scientists in the United States, shows why biodiversity is vital to the future of Earth and to our own species through the story of an African national park that may be the most diverse place on earth, in a gorgeously illustrated book"--. "The remarkable story of how one of the most biologically diverse habitats in the world was destroyed, restored, and continues to evolve--with stunning, full-color photographs by two of the world's best wildlife photographers. In 1976, Gorongosa National Park was the premier park in Mozambique, boasting one of the densest wildlife populations in all of Africa. Across 1,500 square miles of lush green floodplains, thick palm forests, swampy lakes, and vast plains roamed creatures great and small, from herds of wildebeest and elephant to countless bird species and insects yet to be classified. Then came the civil war of 1978-1992, when much of the ecosystem was destroyed, reducing some large animal populations by 90 percent or more. Due to a remarkable conservation effort sponsored by an American entrepreneur, the park was restored in the 1990s and is now evolving back to its former state. This is the story of that incredible transformation and why such biological diversity is so important. In A Window on Eternity, world-renowned biologist and two-time Pulitzer Prize-winner Edward O. Wilson shows why biodiversity is vital to the future of the Earth, including our human population. It is in places like Gorongosa in Africa, explains Wilson, that our own species evolved. Wilson takes readers to the forested groves of the park's watershed on sacred Mount Gorongosa, then far away to deep gorges along the edge of the Rift Valley, places previously unexplored by biologists, with the aim of discovering new species and assessing their ancient origins. He treats readers to a war between termites and raider ants, describes 'conversations' with elephant herds, and explains the importance of a one-day 'bioblitz.' Praised as 'one of the finest scientists writing today' (Los Angeles Times), Wilson uses the story of Gorongosa to show the significance of biodiversity to humankind"--.

340.092 S

Sligh, Clarissa T., artist. Transforming hate : an artist's book. First edition. "This book evolved from a project for which I folded origami cranes from pages of white supremacist books for the exhibition, Speaking Volumes: Transforming Hate ... I was trying to look at what it was like for me to turn hateful words into a beautiful art object. What actually evolved from that exploration helped me understand more fully the many levels of oppression and violence at the intersections of race, gender, class and sexual orientation." --inside front cover.

343.730 I

Internet law. Amenia, New York : Grey House Publishing, 2020.

345.73 C

Carter, Dan T. Scottsboro : a tragedy of the American South. Rev. ed. Fourth printing. Baton Rouge : Louisiana State University Press, 2007.

349.41 H

Honor©♭, Tony, 1921-2019. About law : an introduction. Reprint: 2013. Law -- History -- Government -- Property -- Contracts and treaties -- Crimes -- Torts -- Forms and procedures -- Interpretation -- Justice -- Does law matter? -- Glossary.

363.73 P

Pollution. New York, NY : Grey House Publishing, 2020.

371.102 A

Agarwal, Pooja K., author. Powerful teaching : unleash the science of learning. First edition. Introduction -- Discover the power behind power tools -- Build a foundation with retrieval practice -- Empower teaching with retrieval practice strategies -- Energize learning with spacing and interleaving -- Engage students with feedback-driven metacognition -- Combine power tools and harness your toolbox -- Keeping it real: use power tools to tackle challenges, not add to them -- Foster a supportive environment: use power tools to reduce anxiety and strengthen community -- Spark conversations with students about the science of learning -- Spark conversations with parents about the science of learning -- Powerful professional development for teachers and leaders -- Do-it-yourself retrieval guide -- Conclusion: unleash the science of learning.

512 G

Algebra. 2004. New York : Springer Science+Business Media, 2004.

575.1 A

Arney, Kat, author. How to code a human. Meet your genome -- Our genetic journey -- How do genes work? -- Under attack! -- Who do you think your are? -- People are not peas -- Genetic superheroes -- Turn me on -- Sticky notes -- The RNA world -- Building a baby -- Wiring the brain -- Compatibility genes -- X and Y -- The viruses that made us human -- When things go wrong -- Human 2.0. "How to Code a Human takes you on a mind-bending journey through the world of the double helix, revealing how our DNA encodes our genes and makes us unique. Covering all aspects of modern genetics from the evolution of our species to inherited diseases, "junk" DNA, genetic engineering and the intricacies of the molecular processes inside our cells, this is an astonishing and insightful guide to the code of life"--Back cover.

598 S

Sibley, David, 1961- author, illustrator. What it's like to be a bird : from flying to nesting, eating to singing -- what birds are doing, and why. How to use this book -- Introduction -- Portfolio of birds -- Birds in this book -- What to do if... -- Becoming a birder. Explore more than two hundred species, and more than 330 new illustrations by the author, in this special, large-format volume, where many of the primary illustrations are reproduced life-sized. While its focus is on familiar backyard birds -- blue jays, nuthatches, chickadees -- What It's Like to Be a Bird also examines certain species that can be fairly easily observed, such as the seashore-dwelling Atlantic Puffin. David Sibley's exacting artwork and wide-ranging expertise bring observed behaviors vividly to life. And while the text is aimed at adults -- including fascinating new scientific research on the myriad ways birds have adapted to environmental changes -- it is nontechnical, making it the perfect occasion for parents and grandparents to share their love of birds with young children, who will delight in the big, full-color illustrations of birds in action. -- back cover.

613.6 C

Bushcraft Illustrated: a visual guide. New York, NY : Simon & Schuster, Inc. (Adams Media: imprint of Simon & Schuster), 2019.

638.1 B

Michael Bush. The Practical beekeeper. Nehawka, Nebraska : X-Star Publishing Company, 2004-2011. V. 1 - The Practical Beekeeing Naturally; V.2 - Intermediate Beekeeping Naturally.

660.6 D

Druker, Steven M., author. Altered genes, twisted truth : how the venture to genetically engineer our food has subverted science, corrupted government, and systematically deceived the public.

709.2 A

Atalay, B©ơlent. Math and the Mona Lisa: : the art and science of Leonardo da Vinci. New York, NY : Smithsonian Books in association with HarperCollins Publishers, 2006. Leonardo was one of history's true geniuses, equally brilliant as an artist, scientist, and mathematician. Following Leonardo's own model, Atalay searches for the internal dynamics of art and science. He provides an overview of the development of science from the dawn of civilization to today's quantum mechanics. From this base, Atalay offers a view into Leonardo's restless intellect and modus operandi, allowing us to see the source of his ideas and to appreciate his art from a new perspective.

741.5 G

Greenberg, Isabel. The encyclopedia of early earth : a graphic novel. First American edition. Love in a very cold climate -- Part 1. The land of Nord. The three sisters of Summer Island ; Beyond the frozen sea ; The gods ; The odyssey begins -- Part 2. Britanitarka. Summer and winter ; Creation ; Medicine man ; The storytellers ; Creation ; Dag and Hal ; The old lady and the giant ; The time of the giants ; The children of the mountain ; The long night ; Dead towns & ghost men -- Part. 3. Migdal Bavel. Migdal Bavel ; The mapmaker of Migdal Bavel ; The bible of Birdman: Genesis ; Bible of Birdman, book of Kiddo: The great flood ; The tower of Migdal Bavel ; The palace of whispers ; The gods #2 -- Part 4. The South Pole. The gods #3 -- Appendices. A brief history of time ; The Nords ; Hunting and fishing ; The 1001 varieties of snow ; The invisible hunter ; Britanitarka ; Birds & beast from early Earth ; The moonstone ; The plucked firebird of Hoo. "Chronicles the explorations of a young man as he paddles from his home in the North Pole to the South Pole. There, he meets his true love, but their romance is ill-fated. Early Earth's unusual and finicky polarity means the lovers can never touch"--Publisher's website.

808.1 G

How poetry can change your heart. San Francisco, CA : Chronicle Books, 2019.

808.5 E

Franklin, Sharon. Essentials of speech communication. Evanston, Ill. : McDougal Littell, 2001.

808.53 H

Hanson, Jim. NTC's dictionary of debate. Lincolnwood, Ill., USA : National Textbook Co., c1990.

808.53 W

Strategic debate. Textbook. Columbus, OH : Glencoe/McGraw-Hill, 2006.

810.8 B

Lepucki, Edan, author. The best American nonrequired reading 2019. This anthology presents a selection of short works from mainstream and alternative American periodicals published in 2019, including nonfiction, screenplays, television writing, fiction, and alternative comics.

815 R

Representative American speeches, 2019-2020. Amenia, New York : Grey House, Publishing, 2020. "Selected from a diverse field of speakers and venues, this volume offers some of the most engaging American speeches of the year. Distinguished by its diversity, covering areas in politics, education, popular culture, as well as trending topics in the news, these speeches provide an interesting format to explore some of the year's most important stories."-Publisher.

909.09 D

Davis, Jack E., 1956- author. The Gulf : the making of an American sea. First edition. Prologue : history, nature, and a forgotten sea -- Introduction : birth -- Part one. Estuaries, and the lie of the land and sea : aborigines and colonizing Europeans. Mounds -- El golfo de M©♭xico -- Unnecessary death -- A most important river, and a "magnificent" bay -- Part two. Sea and sky : American debuts in the nineteenth century. Manifest destiny -- A fishy sea -- The wild fish that tamed the coast -- Birds of a feather, shot together -- Part three. Preludes to the future. From bayside to beachside -- Oil and the Texas toe dip -- Oil and the Louisiana plunge -- Islands, shifting sands of time -- Wind and water -- Part four. Saturation and loss : post-1945. The growth coast -- Florida worry, Texas slurry -- Rivers of stuff -- Runoff, and runaway -- Sand in the hourglass -- Losing the edge -- Epilogue : a success story amid so much else. Significant beyond tragic oil spills and hurricanes, the Gulf has historically been one of the world's most bounteous marine environments, supporting human life for millennia. Based on the premise that nature lies at the center of human existence, Davis takes readers on a compelling and, at times, wrenching journey from the Florida Keys to the Texas Rio Grande, along marshy shorelines and majestic estuarine bays, both beautiful and life-giving, though fated to exploitation by esurient oil men and real-estate developers. Davis shares previously untold stories, parading a vast array of historical characters past our view: sports-fishermen, presidents, Hollywood executives, New England fishers, the Tabasco king, a Texas shrimper, and a New York architect who caught the "big one". Sensitive to the imminent effects of climate change, and to the difficult task of rectifying the assaults of recent centuries, this book suggests how a penetrating examination of a single region's history can inform the country's path ahead. --.

910.92 I

Inskeep, Steve, author. Imperfect union : how Jessie and John Fr©♭mont mapped the West, invented celebrity, and helped cause the Civil War. Aid me with your influence -- The equal merits of differing peoples -- The current of important events -- Miseries that attend a separation -- I determined to make there a home -- The manifest purpose of providence -- A taste for danger and bold daring adventure -- The Spaniards were somewhat rude and inhospitable -- I am not going to let you write anything but your name -- Do not suppose I lightly interfere in a matter belonging to men -- We pressed onward with fatal resolution -- Jessie Benton Fr©♭mont was the better man of the two -- We thought money might come in handy -- All the stupid laurels that ever grew -- Decidedly, this ought to be struck out -- He throws away his heart. "Steve Inskeep tells the riveting story of John and Jessie Fr©♭mont, the husband and wife team who in the 1800s were instrumental in the westward expansion of the United States, and thus became America's first great political couple John Fr©♭mont grew up amid family tragedy and shame. Born out of wedlock in 1813, he went to work at age thirteen to help support his family in Charleston, South Carolina. He was a nobody. Yet, by the 1840s, he rose to become one of the most acclaimed people of the age -- known as a wilderness explorer, bestselling writer, gallant army officer, and latter-day conquistador, who in 1846 began the United States' takeover of California from Mexico. He was a celebrity who personified the country's westward expansion. Mountains, towns, ships, and streets were named after him. How did he climb so far? A vital factor was his wife, Jessie Benton Fr©♭mont, the daughter of a powerful United States senator. Jessie wanted to play roles in politics and exploration, which were then reserved for men. Frustrated, she threw her skill and passion into promoting her husband. Ordered by the US Army to map the Oregon Trail, John traveled thousands of miles on horseback, indifferent to his safety and that of the other members of his expeditions. When he returned home, Jessie helped him to shape dramatic reports of his adventures, which were reprinted in newspapers and bound as popular books. Jessie became his political adviser, and a power player in her own right. In 1856, the famous couple strategized as John became the first-ever presidential nominee of the newly established Republican Party. The party had been founded in opposition to slavery, and though both Fr©♭monts were Southerners they became symbols of the cause. With rare detail and in consummate style, Steve Inskeep tells the story of a couple whose joint ambitions and talents intertwined with those of the nascent United States itself. Americans linked the Fr©♭monts with not one but three great social movements of the time -- westward settlement, women's rights, and opposition to slavery. Theirs is a surprisingly modern story of ambition and fame; they lived in a time of globalization, technological disruption, and divisive politics that foreshadowed our own. The Fr©♭monts' adventures amount to nothing less than a tour of the early American soul"--.

940.54 S

Sledge, E. B. (Eugene Bondurant), 1923-. China marine. Oxford University Paperback, 2003. Tuscaloosa : University of Alabama Press, c2002. China Marine 1 -- Epilogue: I Am Not the Man I Would Have Been 149.

940.54 T

Terkel, Studs, 1912-2008. "The good war" : an oral history of World War Two. New York : New Press, [1997.

943.36 H

Hunt, Irmgard A. (Irmgard Albine), 1934-. On Hitler's mountain : overcoming the legacy of a Nazi childhood. First Harper Perennial edition. 2006. On writing a childhood memoir -- pt. 1. 1906-1934 : the P©œhlmanns. Roots of discontent ; In search of a future -- pt. 2. 1934-1939 : Hitler's willing followers. The rituals of life ; "Heil Hitler" ; Ominous undercurrents ; Meeting Hitler ; Gathering clouds -- pt. 3. 1939-1945 : war and surrender. Early sacrifice ; Learning to hate school ; Lessons from a wartime friendship ; A weary interlude in Selb ; Hardship and disintegration ; War comes to Berchtesgaden ; The end at last -- pt. 4. 1945-1948 : Bitter justice, or, Will justice be done? Survival under the Star-spangled Banner ; The curse of the past ; Escape from darkness. The author provides an account of her life growing up in Berchtesgaden, a Bavarian village at the foot of Hitler's mountain retreat, discussing a childhood encounter with the Nazi leader, and shedding light on why ordinary Germans, including her parents, tolerated and even supported the Nazis.

951.04 M

Mitter, Rana, 1969- author. Forgotten ally : China's World War II, 1937-1945. First U.S. Edition. The path to war: As close as lips and teeth : China's fall, Japan's rise ; A new revolution ; The path to confrontation -- Disaster: Thirty-seven days in summer : the outbreak of war ; The battle for Shanghai ; Refugees and resistance ; Massacre at Nanjing ; The battle of Taierzhuang ; The deadly river -- Resisting alone: "A sort of wartime normal" ; Flight into the unknown ; The road to Pearl Harbor -- The poisoned alliance ; Destination Burma ; Hunger in Henan ; States of terror ; Conference at Cairo ; One war, two fronts ; Showdown with Stilwell ; Unexpected victory ; Epilogue: The enduring war. "For decades, a major piece of World War II history has gone virtually unwritten. China was the fourth great ally, partner to the United States, the Soviet Union, and Great Britain, yet its drama of invasion, resistance, slaughter, and political intrigue remains little known in the West. In this emotionally gripping book, made possible through access to newly unsealed Chinese archives, Rana Mitter unfurls the story of China's World War II as never before and rewrites the larger history of the war in the process. He focuses his narrative on three towering leaders -- Chiang Kai-shek, Mao Zedong, and the lesser-known collaborator Wang Jingwei -- and extends the timeline of the war back to 1937, when Japanese and Chinese troops began to clash, fully two years before Hitler invaded Poland. Unparalleled in its research and scope, Forgotten Ally is a sweeping, character-driven history that will be essential reading not only for anyone with an interest in World War II, but also for those seeking to understand today's China, where, as Mitter reveals, the echoes of the war still reverberate"--.

952 J

Takada, Noriko. The Japanese way : aspects of behavior, attitudes, and customs of the Japanese. 2nd ed. Chicago : McGraw-Hill, c2011 . Abbreviations and contractions -- Addresses and street names -- Arts and crafts -- Asking directions -- Bathing and bathhouses -- Body language and gestures -- Borrowed words and acronyms -- Bowing -- Brand names and brand-name goods (burando-hin) -- Business cards (meish) -- Calendar -- Cherry blossoms and flower viewing -- Compliments -- Conversation -- Crime and safety -- Dating and marriage -- Death, funerals, and mourning -- Dialects -- Dining out -- Dinner invitations -- Directness -- Discussion and consensus -- Dress -- Drinking -- Driving -- Earthquakes -- Education -- English-language study -- Family -- The Jag and the national anthem -- Flowers and plants -- Food and eating -- Footwear -- Foreigners -- Gender roles -- Geography -- Gifts -- Government -- Hellos and good-byes -- Holidays and festivals -- Honorific speech (keigo) -- Hotels and inns -- Housing and furnishings -- Humor -- The Imperial family -- Individuals and couples -- Introductions and networking -- Karaoke -- Leisure (rgli) -- Letters, greeting cards, and postal services -- Love and affection -- Lucky and unlucky numbers -- Male/female speech -- Money -- Mt. Fuji -- Music and dance -- Myths, legends, and folklore -- Names, titles, and forms of address -- Numbers and counting -- Oriental medicine -- Pinball (pachinko) -- Politeness and rudeness -- Population -- Privacy -- Reading material -- Religion -- The seasons -- Shopping -- Shrines and temples -- Signatures and seals -- Social structure -- Sports -- Table etiquette -- Telephones -- Television/radio/movies -- Thank-yous and regrets -- Theater -- Time and punctuality -- Tipping and service charges -- Toilets -- Travel within Japan -- Vending machines -- Visiting private homes -- Weights, measures, and sizes -- Working hours -- The written language -- "Yes" and "no" -- "You first" -- Zoological calendar.

972.81 P

Proskouriakoff, Tatiana, 1909-1985. Maya history. First edition. Foreword / Gordon R. Wills -- Tatiana Proskouriakoff, 1909-1985 / Ian Graham -- Introduction / Rosemary A. Joyce -- 1. The Earliest Records: (A.D. 288-337) -- 2. The Arrival of Strangers: (A.D. 337-386) -- 3. The Maya Regain Tikal: (A.D. 386-435) -- 4. Some Ragged Pages: (A.D. 435-485) -- 5. Expansion of the Maya Tradition: (A.D. 485-534) -- 6. A Time of Troubles: (A.D. 534-583) -- 7. Recovery on the Frontiers: (A.D. 583-633) -- 8. Growth and Expansion: (A.D. 633-682) -- 9. Toward a Peak of Prosperity: (A.D. 682-736) -- 10. On the Crest of the Wave: (A.D. 731-780) -- 11. Prelude to Disaster: (A.D. 780-830) -- 12. The Final Years: (A.D. 831-909) -- 13. The Last Survivals: (A.D. 909-938). The ruins of Maya city-states occur throughout the Yucatan peninsula, Guatemala, Belize, and in parts of Honduras and El Salvador. But the people who built these sites remain imperfectly known. Though they covered standing monuments (stelae) and public buildings with hieroglyphic records of their deeds, no Rosetta Stone has yet turned up in Central America to help experts determine the exact meaning of these glyphs. Tatiana Proskouriakoff, a preeminent student of the Maya, made many breakthroughs in deciphering Maya writing, particularly in demonstrating that the glyphs record the deeds of actual human beings. This discovery opened the way for a history of the Maya, a monumental task that Proskouriakoff was engaged in before her death in 1985. Her work, Maya History, has been made ready for press by the able editorship of Rosemary Joyce. Maya History reconstructs the Classic Maya period (roughly A.D. 250-900) from the glyphic record on stelae at numerous sites, including Altar de Sacrificios, Copan, Dos Pilas, Naranjo, Piedras Negras, Quirigua, Tikal, and Yaxchilan. Proskouriakoff traces the spread of governmental institutions from the central Peten, especially from Tikal, to other city-states by conquest and intermarriage. And she also shows how the gradual introduction of foreign elements into Maya art mirrors the entry of outsiders who helped provoke the eventual collapse of the Classic Maya. Fourteen line drawings of monuments and over three hundred original drawings of glyphs amplify the text. Maya History has been long awaited by scholars in the field. It is sure to provoke lively debate and greater understanding of this important area in Mesoamerican studies.

973.04 A

Asian Americans : the movement and the moment. A wide-ranging collection of essays and material which documents the rich, little-known history of Asian American social activism during the years 1965-2001. This book examines the period not only through personal accounts and historical analysis, but through the visual record--utilizing historical prictorial materials developed at UCLA's Asian American Studies Center on Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Filipino, and Vietnamese Americans. Included are many reproductions of photos of the period, movement comics, demonstration flyers, newsletters, posters and much more.

973.0496 D

W.E.B. DuBois. The Souls of Black Folk. BIGFONTBOOKS.COM.

973.7 B

Barney, William L. Battleground for the Union : the era of the Civil War and Reconstruction, 1848-1877. Englewood Cliffs, N.J. : Prentice Hall, c1990.

973.9 I

Imani, Blair, author. Making our way home : the Great Migration and the Black American dream. First edition. Separate but equal: Reconstruction-1919 -- Beautiful -- and ugly, too: 1920-1929 -- I, too, am America: 1930-1939 -- Liberty and justice for all: 1940-1949 -- Trouble ahead: 1950-1959 -- The time is in the street, you know: 1960-1969 -- All poer to all the people: 1970-1979. "A powerful illustrated history of the Great Migration and its sweeping impact on Black and American culture, from Reconstruction to the rise of hip hop. Over the course of six decades, an unprecedented wave of Black Americans left the South and spread across the nation in search of a better life--a migration that sparked stunning demographic and cultural changes in twentieth-century America. Through gripping and accessible historical narrative paired with illustrations, author and activist Blair Imani examines the largely overlooked impact of The Great Migration and how it affected--and continues to affect--Black identity and America as a whole. Making Our Way Home explores issues like voting rights, domestic terrorism, discrimination, and segregation alongside the flourishing of arts and culture, activism, and civil rights. Imani shows how these influences shaped America's workforce and wealth distribution by featuring the stories of notable people and events, relevant data, and family histories. The experiences of prominent figures such as James Baldwin, Fannie Lou Hamer, El Hajj Malik El Shabazz (Malcolm X), Ella Baker, and others are woven into the larger historical and cultural narratives of the Great Migration to create a truly singular record of this powerful journey"--.

973.9 L

Longley, Kyle, author. LBJ's 1968 : power, politics, and the presidency in America's year of upheaval. A nation on the brink: the State of the Union Address, January 1968 -- Those dirty bastards, are they trying to embarrass us? The Pueblo Incident, January-December 1968 -- Tet: a very near thing, January-March 1968 -- As a result, I will not seek re-election: the March 31, 1968 speech -- The days the earth stood still: the assassination of Martin Luther King, Jr., April 1968 -- He hated him, but loved him: the assassination of Robert Kennedy, June 1968 -- The big stumble: the Fortas Affair, June-October 1968 -- The tanks are rolling: Czechoslovakia crushed, August 1968 -- The perfect disaster: the Democratic National Convention, August 1968 -- Is this treason?: the October surprise that wasn't, October-December 1968 -- The last dance, January 1969 -- Conclusion.

974.7 F

Feldman, Deborah, 1986-. Unorthodox : the scandalous rejection of my Hasidic roots. 1st Simon & Schuster trade pbk. ed. 2020. New York : Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2012. Traces the author's upbringing in a Hasidic community in Brooklyn, describing the strict rules that governed her life, arranged marriage at the age of seventeen, and the birth of her son, which led to her plan to leave and forge her own path in life.

975.7 B

Ball, Edward, 1959-. Slaves in the family. Paperback edition. Journalist Ball confronts the legacy of his family's slave-owning past, uncovering the story of the people, both black and white, who lived and worked on the Balls' South Carolina plantations. It is an unprecedented family record that reveals how the painful legacy of slavery continues to endure in America's collective memory and experience. Ball, a descendant of one of the largest slave-owning families in the South, discovered that his ancestors owned 25 plantations, worked by nearly 4,000 slaves. Through meticulous research and by interviewing scattered relatives, Ball contacted some 100,000 African-Americans who are all descendants of Ball slaves. In intimate conversations with them, he garnered information, hard words, and devastating family stories of precisely what it means to be enslaved. He found that the family plantation owners were far from benevolent patriarchs; instead there is a dark history of exploitation, interbreeding, and extreme violence.--From publisher description.

975.7 B

Ball, Edward, 1959-. The sweet hell inside : a family history. First edition. Preface -- Part 1-The Master and His Orphans-Part 2-High Yellow-Porch 3 -Eyes Sadder Then the Grave-Part 4-Nigger Rich-Part 5-The Orphans Dancers-Part 6-A Trunk in the Grass-Notes-Permission and Photography Credits-Acknowledgments-Index. If. Recounts the lives of the Harleston family of South Carolina, the progeny of a Southern gentleman and his slave who cast off their blemished roots and achieved affluence in part through a surprisingly successful funeral parlor business. Their wealth afforded the Harlestons the comfort of chauffeurs, tailored clothes, and servants whose skin was darker than theirs. It also launched the family into a generation of glory as painters, performers, and photographers in the "high yellow" society of America's colored upper class. The Harlestons' remarkable 100-year journey spans the waning days of Reconstruction, the precious art world of the early 1900s, the back alleys of the Jazz Age, and the dawn of the civil rights movement.--From publisher description.

DVD Gre

The Great debaters. 2-disc collector's edition; Widescreen [ed.]. [New York] : Weinstein Company, c2008. Denzel Washington, Nate Parker, Jurnee Smollett, Denzel Whitaker, Jermaine Williams, Forest Whitaker, Gina Ravera, John Heard, Kimberly Elise, Devyn Tyler, Trenton McClain Boyd. Melvin B. Tolson is a professor at Wiley College in Texas. Wiley is a small African-American college. In 1935, Tolson inspired students to form the school's first debate team. Tolson turns a group of underdog students into a historically elite debate team which goes on to challenge Harvard in the national championship. Inspired by a true story.

F Alb

Albertalli, Becky, author. What if it's us. Told in two voices, when Arthur, a summer intern from Georgia, and Ben, a native New Yorker, meet it seems like fate, but after three attempts at dating fail they wonder if the universe is pushing them together or apart.

F Arc

Astral Traveler's Daughter. First Simon & Schuster Trade Paperback edition, April 2019. New York, NY : Simon & Schuster, Inc, 2019. "Last year, Teddy Cannon discovered she was psychic. This year, her skills will be put to the test as she investigates a secretive case that will take her far from home--and deep into the past in the thrilling follow-up to School for Psychics"-- Provided by publisher.

F Chi

Chiaverini, Jennifer, author. Enchantress of numbers : a novel of Ada Lovelace. "The only legitimate child of Lord Byron, the most brilliant, revered, and scandalous of the Romantic poets, Ada was destined for fame long before her birth. Estranged from Ada's father, who was infamously "mad, bad, and dangerous to know," Ada's mathematician mother is determined to save her only child from her perilous Byron heritage. Banishing fairy tales and make-believe from the nursery, Ada's mother provides her daughter with a rigorous education grounded in mathematics and science. Any troubling spark of imagination--or worse yet, passion or poetry--is promptly extinguished. Or so her mother believes. When Ada is introduced into London society as a highly eligible young heiress, she at last discovers the intellectual and social circles she has craved all her life. Little does she realize that her delightful new friendship with inventor Charles Babbage--brilliant, charming, and occasionally curmudgeonly--will shape her destiny ..."--Jacket.

F Chr

Christie, Michael, 1976- author. Greenwood : a novel. First U.S. edition. "It's 2038 and Jake Greenwood is a storyteller and a liar, an overqualified tour guide babysitting ultra-rich vacationers in one of the world's last remaining forests. It's 2008 and Liam Greenwood is a carpenter, fallen from a ladder and sprawled on his broken back, calling out from the concrete floor of an empty mansion. It's 1974 and Willow Greenwood is out of jail, free after being locked up for one of her endless series of environmental protests: attempts at atonement for the sins of her father's once vast and violent timber empire. It's 1934 and Everett Greenwood is alone, as usual, in his maple syrup camp squat when he hears the cries of an abandoned infant and gets tangled up in the web of a crime that will cling to his family for decades. And throughout, there are trees: thrumming a steady, silent pulse beneath Christie's effortless sentences and working as a guiding metaphor for withering, weathering, and survival. A shining, intricate clockwork of a novel, Greenwood is a rain-soaked and sun-dappled story of the bonds and breaking points of money and love, wood and blood--and the hopeful, impossible task of growing toward the light"--.

F Cle

Memoirs of Fanny Hill. Published by arrangement with Edito-Service S. A., Geneva, Switzerland. New York, NY : Peebles Press International Inc, 1973.

F Col

Andre's Reboot. Birmingham, AL : Stephen B. Coleman, Publisher, 2019.

F Def

Moll Flanders. Reprint. 2020. Columbia, SC, : August 12, 2020.

F Def

Defoe, Daniel, 1661?-1731. The fortunes and misfortunes of the famous Moll Flanders ... A new edition.

F Fit

Fitzgerald, F. Scott (Francis Scott), 1896-1940, author. The great Gatsby. Foreword to the seventy-fifth anniversary edition: F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby, and the House of Scribner ; Preface / by Matthew J. Bruccoli -- THE GREAT GATSBY -- The text of The Great Gatsby / by Matthew J. Bruccoli -- Publisher's afterword / Charles Scribner III -- FSF : life and career / James L.W. West III. Overview: The mysterious Jay Gatsby embodies the American notion that it is possible to redefine oneself and persuade the world to accept that definition. Gatsby's youthful neighbor, Nick Carraway, fascinated with the display of enormous wealth in which Gatsby revels, finds himself swept up in the lavish lifestyle of Long Island society during the Jazz Age. Considered Fitzgerald's best work, The Great Gatsby is a mystical, timeless story of integrity and cruelty, vision and despair. The timeless story of Jay Gatsby and his love for Daisy Buchanan is widely acknowledged to be the closest thing to the Great American Novel ever written.

F Jam

The Turn of the Screw, the Aspern Papers, and Two Stories. Barnes & Noble Classics, 2003; Intro. and notes by David L. Sweet. New York, NY : Barnes & Noble, 2003.

F Ora

Orange, Tommy, 1982- author. There there. First Vintage books edition. Here is a story of several people, each of whom has private reasons for travelling to the Big Oakland Powwow. Jacquie Red Feather is newly sober and trying to make it back to the family she left behind in shame. Dene Oxendene is pulling his life together after his uncle's death and has come to work at the powwow to honour his uncle's memory. Opal Viola Victoria Bear Shield has come to watch her nephew Orvil Red Feather, who has taught himself traditional Indian dance through YouTube videos and has come to the powwow to dance in public for the very first time. There will be glorious communion, and a spectacle of sacred tradition and pageantry. And there will be sacrifice, and heroism, and unspeakable loss.

F Pat

Patchett, Ann, author. The Dutch house : a novel. First edition. "Ann Patchett, the New York Times bestselling author of Commonwealth and State of Wonder, returns with her most powerful novel to date: a richly moving story that explores the indelible bond between two siblings, the house of their childhood, and a past that will not let them go"--.

F Rob

Roberts, Nora, author. The awakening. First edition. "#1 New York Times bestselling author of the epic Chronicles of The One trilogy returns with the first in a brand new series where parallel worlds clash over the struggle between good and evil"--.

F Row

Rowling, J. K. Harrius Potter et philosophi lapis. Cover illustration first pub. 2015. London : Bloomsbury, 2003, ℗♭1997. Latin translation, Peter Needham, 2003. Rescued from the outrageous neglect of his aunt and uncle, a young boy with a great destiny proves his worth while attending Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry.

F Rus

Russell, Karen, 1981-. Swamplandia! 1st ed (Borzoi Book). New York : Alfred A. Knopf, 2011. Twelve year old Ava must travel into the Underworld part of the swamp in order to save her family's dynasty of Bigtree alligator wresting. This novel takes us to the swamps of the Florida Everglades, and introduces us to Ava Bigtree, an unforgettable young heroine. The Bigtree alligator wrestling dynasty is in decline, and Swamplandia!, their island home and gator wrestling theme park, formerly no. 1 in the region, is swiftly being encroached upon by a fearsome and sophisticated competitor called the World of Darkness. Ava's mother, the park's indomitable headliner, has just died; her sister, Ossie, has fallen in love with a spooky character known as the Dredgeman, who may or may not be an actual ghost; and her brilliant big brother, Kiwi, who dreams of becoming a scholar, has just defected to the World of Darkness in a last ditch effort to keep their family business from going under. Ava's father, affectionately known as Chief Bigtree, is AWOL; and that leaves Ava, a resourceful but terrified thirteen, to manage ninety eight gators as well as her own grief. Against a backdrop of hauntingly fecund plant life animated by ancient lizards and lawless hungers, the author has written a novel about a family's struggle to stay afloat in a world that is inexorably sinking.

F Sha

Shaw, Irwin, 1913-1984. The young lions. Chicago : University of Chicago Press, 2000.

F Tol

The Hobbit. 75th Anniversary. The text of this edition is based on edition published by HarperCollins Publishers in 1995. Bilbo Baggins, a respectable, well-to-do hobbit, lives comfortably in his hobbit-hole until the day the wandering wizard Gandalf chooses him to take part in an adventure from which he may never return.

F Tow

Towles, Amor. Rules of civility. A chance encounter with a handsome banker in a jazz bar on New Year's Eve 1938 catapults Wall Street secretary Katey Kontent into the upper echelons of New York society, where she befriends a shy multi-millionaire, an Upper East Side ne'er-do-well, and a single-minded widow.

F Wat

Watson, Ren©♭e, author. Piecing me together. Tired of being singled out at her mostly-white private school as someone who needs support, high school junior Jade would rather participate in the school's amazing Study Abroad program than join Women to Women, a mentorship program for at-risk girls. "Acclaimed author Renee Watson offers a powerful story about a girl striving for success in a world that too often seems like it's trying to break her. Jade believes she must get out of her poor neighborhood if she's ever going to succeed. Her mother tells her to take advantage of every opportunity that comes her way. And Jade has: every day she rides the bus away from her friends and to the private school where she feels like an outsider, but where she has plenty of opportunities. But some opportunities she doesn't really welcome, like an invitation to join Women to Women, a mentorship program for "at-risk" girls. Just because her mentor is black and graduated from the same high school doesn't mean she understands where Jade is coming from. She's tired of being singled out as someone who needs help, someone people want to fix. Jade wants to speak, to create, to express her joys and sorrows, her pain and her hope. Maybe there are some things she could show other women about understanding the world and finding ways to be real, to make a difference.".

F Wil

Williams, Katie, 1978- author. Tell the machine goodnight. Pearl's job is to make people happy. Every day, she provides customers with personalized recommendations for greater contentment. She's good at her job, her office manager tells her, successful. But how does one measure an emotion? Meanwhile, there's Pearl's teenage son, Rhett. A sensitive kid who has forged an unconventional path through adolescence, Rhett seems to find greater satisfaction in being unhappy. The very rejection of joy is his own kind of "pursuit of happiness." As his mother, Pearl wants nothing more than to help Rhett--but is it for his sake or for hers? Certainly it would make Pearl happier. Regardless, her son is one person whose emotional life does not fall under the parameters of her job--not as happiness technician, and not as mother, either.-Amazon.

SC D

The Daniel Defoe Collection : The Life and strange surprising adventures of Robinson Crusoe, of York, Mariner; The farther adventures of Robinson Crusoe; A journal of the plague year; Moll Flanders. South Carolina, USA, : August 2020.

SC L

Link, Kelly, author. Get in trouble : stories. Random House trade paperback edition. The summer people -- I can see right through you -- Secret identity -- Valley of the girls -- Origin story -- The lesson -- The new boyfriend -- Two houses -- Light. A collection of short stories features tales of a young girl who plays caretaker to mysterious guests at the cottage behind her house and a former teen idol who becomes involved in a bizarre reality show.

SC P

Packer, ZZ. Drinking coffee elsewhere. 1st Riverhead trade pbk. ed. New York : Riverhead Books, 2004, ℗♭2003. Brownies -- Every tongue shall confess -- Our Lady of Peace -- The ant of the self -- Drinking coffee elsewhere -- Speaking in tongues -- Geese -- Doris is coming. Discovered by The New Yorker, Packer "forms a constellation of young black experience"* whether she's writing from the perspective of a church-going black woman who has a crisis in faith, a young college student at Yale, or a young black man unwillingly accompanying his father to the Million Man March. This universally appealing collection of short fiction has already established ZZ Packer as "a writer to watch.".

SC S

Sedaris, David, author. Calypso. First edition. When he buys a beach house on the Carolina coast, David Sedaris envisions long, relaxing vacations spent playing board games and lounging in the sun with those he loves most. And life at the Sea Section, as he names the vacation home, is exactly as idyllic as he imagined, except for one tiny, vexing realization: it's impossible to take a vacation from yourself. Sedaris sets his powers of observation toward middle age and mortality, that vertiginous moment when your own body betrays you and you realize that the story of your life is made up of more past than future.

SC S

Sedaris, David, author. Let's explore diabetes with owls. First Back Bay paperback edition, June 2014. From the perils of French dentistry to the eating habits of the Australian kookaburra, from the squat-style toilets of Beijing to the particular wilderness of a North Carolina Costco, we learn about the absurdity and delight of a curious traveler's experiences. Whether railing against the habits of litterers in the English countryside or marveling over a disembodied human arm in a taxidermist's shop, Sedaris takes us on side-splitting adventures that are not to be forgotten.

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adhdtoomanycommas · 4 years

Text

ADHD, Gifted Programs, and Accidental Accommodations

So one big thing has been on my mind pretty consistently since I got diagnosed last year at the age of 30—why did it take so long to figure this out? At no point in my K-12 education or my 4 year bachelor’s degree schooling did any teacher or counselor question or suggest I may have ADHD, despite the fact that I check nearly every single box on every diagnostic criteria (both inattentive and hyperactive!)

One obvious reason is sexism. Pretty early in my reading on the subject, I learned that ADHD is dramatically under-diagnosed in girls and women. Partly this is because of different presentations, but a lot of it is just that the stereotype people have in their heads of what an ADHD kid looks like is always a boy.

But the other big reason, and the one I want to talk about today, is the fact that one of the few ADHD diagnostic boxes that I didn’t check was “bad grades.” So really, the question is, why weren’t my grades bad?

That’s not to say I was especially good at school work. My backpacks, desks, and binders were always a complete mess, and I NEVER did the homework. I would do the big projects (at the last possible second, of course) but daily homework just straight up didn’t happen. If there was time left at the end of class I would sometimes quickly do the homework for the next day, and occasionally jot down some approximation of it in the minute or two before class started, but when I was actually at home, I never touched it.

But here’s the thing with ADHD brains: We can focus on things with no problem, as long as we find them interesting. And I’ve always read quickly enough that doing the reading for class was usually interesting. And for the most part, the class content itself usually seemed interesting enough. But probably most importantly, I consider tests interesting. There’s always been enough of a challenge racing-the-clock game-like aspect to them to me that I would stay engaged on the tests, and even if didn’t completely know the material, I was good at using logic to get a pretty good guess (like using all those tricks they teach for standardized tests—narrowing down the options on a multiple choice question, looking for answers in the other questions, etc.)

So even in the classes where turning in the daily homework counted for part of the grade (math and language classes mostly) I was usually able to scrape a B with only the occasional C thrown in, and everything else was A’s.

But part of my saving grace was the “gifted” classes. I was very lucky that, despite not knowing about her own (probable) ADHD, my mom knew enough about how she worked as a student to know that me (and my brother) really needed to be engaged and challenged in order to thrive. Because of this, she advocated for us hard—she insisted we be allowed in my elementary school’s “gifted” program in kindergarten (based on our test scores of course) even though the “gifted” program officially wasn’t even available until first grade. And when we moved to a different state, she advocated for us again and got us included even though the “gifted” class was “full.” She knew that nothing would make us fail faster than being bored in class, so she made sure that there was at least one day a week when we would be challenged and actually get to engage with material we found interesting.

Aside, despite how essential they were for me to thrive in school, the entire concept of “gifted” programs and “gifted” kids is problematic as hell. Half of the screening is basically just looking for class signifiers and seeing whose parents had enough free time to give them a head start (or whose parents have the time to advocate for their kids the way my mom did for me). Not to mention there’s likely a massive racial bias. So in all this discussion of why I did ok despite my ADHD, it’s important to note that there’s a lot of privilege at play here determining who gets access to these types of programs.

This is also why I keep putting “gifted” in quotes-- I don’t think there is anything inherent about academic ability. Also, academic ability, reading ability, testing aptitude, etc. are definitely not indicative of intelligence. Plus the entire concept of the measurability of intelligence is based on eugenics ideas, so clearly one should take the whole thing with a huge grain of salt.

Nowadays the term all the parenting blogs like to use for kids like me, with ADHD (or dyslexia, or autism, or whatever else) who also test well enough to be flagged as “gifted,” is “Twice Exceptional” which is a term that makes me immediately want to punch whoever uses it. Seriously, it makes me gag. Like, it doubles down on the “special” euphemism and seems entirely designed to make parents feel better about their kid without any consideration to how the kid feels. No kid wants to be singled out, especially one who’s already probably pretty socially isolated (which I could digress about but that’ll be another essay for another day), and being Twice singled out certainly doesn’t help anything.

But ultimately the teaching in the “gifted” class itself wound up being really good accommodations for ADHD. I wouldn’t have been a bit surprised if they were better than the accommodations in the separate classes actually intended for kids with ADHD and other learning issues, though since I wasn’t diagnosed as I kid I can’t actually speak to that as I don’t have any experience there. But in the gifted classes, firstly, we were given more specific subjects as opposed to the overviews we got in regular classes. And it’s way easier to be engaged on specific subjects like ice age mammals, or the wreck of the Titanic, than it is to be engaged with a broad list of dates or categories. We did logic problems that were presented as games, but that were indirectly teaching us the basics for higher level math. In 6th grade, we did research projects and got to pick our own subjects completely, so we could write about whatever we were hyperfixating on at the moment (mine was on medieval warfare as depicted in the Bayeux tapestry). And if we happened to get excited and blurt out an interesting fact vaguely related to whatever was being discussed, that was likely encouraged instead of reprimanded like it would be in the normal classroom. This continued into high school, as honors and AP level classes tended to be a lot more discussion based rather than the top-down approach at other levels, as well as affording more opportunity to choose one’s own subjects.

The story you’ll hear from (or about) a lot of ADHD kids (especially undiagnosed) flagged as “gifted” is of hitting a wall at some point, academically speaking. That did happen to me briefly, in middle school. We started being assigned a lot more long-term projects, and there was a bit of a learning curve while I figured out how to put things off Until the last minute and not Past the last minute. But thanks to some patient teachers who believed in me (which I might not have had outside of honors classes), I managed to pull out of it and improve my grades (with the exception of the only report-card F of my entire academic career, from a sadistic gym teacher who seemed to think that enough berating would cure asthma).

Even more stories I’ve read and heard from people who were diagnosed with ADHD as an adult say they hit that wall academically when they started college—the first time they were really self-guided in their studies. But again, there, I was saved by an honors program. In this case, it was the Honors Tutorial College, a truly strange program at Ohio University. I was tracked into HTC by one particular professor who very much wanted HTC to expand into the art program and decided that because I had both strong test scores and a strong art portfolio (and probably, lets be real, because I was the daughter of one of the other professors) that I was the perfect person to be the first student in the new program.

OU’s website describes HTC as “flexible curriculum and one-on-one tutorials with renowned faculty that allow your curiosity to take the lead in your education.” It’s rigorous, but comes with a lot of perks, like waiving certain gen-ed classes, being able to take classes without first taking the required prerequisites, and designing one’s own independent study classes individually with instructors. And those perks are (as far as I know entirely accidentally) the perfect accommodations for an ADHD student (and probably pretty good for Autistic ones as well, based on some of my peers in the program).

A lot of the gen-ed classes I waived were ones I probably would have been bored in and thusly not done well. Being able to skip pre-reqs meant that, for instance, for my English requirements I was able to take far more interesting classes like Shakespeare’s Comedies, YA Lit, and Playwriting instead of English 101, 102 etc. If I wanted to learn about something in particular, I had help finding a professor willing to help me in an independent study/tutorial class. Being the pilot of the program meant I was able to shape it so that I could get an art degree without ever having to choose one medium (which as far as I know is still an option for anyone pursuing an HTC Studio Art degree). And at the end of the program, when we were required to complete a massive thesis project and paper (at basically graduate level), not only could I choose my subject to meet my hyperfixations, but I had individual help from a professor keeping me on task on the less-fun parts at every step of the way.

HTC students are required to keep their GPAs above a high threshold. At one point one of my grades (in Latin class) was low enough to hurt my average, and I was called into HTC headquarters for a check-in meeting. I was asked why my grade had fallen, and I explained that the class wasn’t that interesting (at that level it was mostly grammar) but that it was getting better as we were moving up into translating more actual historical material. That explanation was entirely accepted. Imagine if “it’s not interesting enough” was considered a valid excuse for grades slipping for everyone, how much less stressful school would be for ADHD kids!

So ultimately it’s pretty much been having the luck and privilege to get myself flagged for “gifted” classes that kept my grades up throughout my school years. Accidental accommodations have continued into my adult life as well. At my most recent office job, for instance (which I lost due to covid layoffs), I had a pretty hands-off boss who just didn’t care if I doodled, got up to stretch my legs every once in a while, and listened to audiobooks at my desk all day as long as the work got done.

I didn’t need a diagnosis to get these accommodations, because they were given freely, which meant I was able to succeed even without knowing about my own ADHD. If I had been diagnosed, and had had to ask for accommodations, I wonder if I would have done as well as bias against people with ADHD means people wouldn’t have expected as much from me.

So if you’ve made it this far, I’ll ask for the same for others that I got for myself. If you are a teacher (or a manager in an office setting), I strongly encourage you to consider how to make your classroom, office, etc. more accessible in general, without someone having to disclose a diagnosis or be singled out for accommodations. The biggest easiest one you can do is to allow (or even encourage) doodling in lecture settings. Even for neurotypicals, there have been plenty of studies proving people retain information better when doodling, so everyone should know by now that someone doodling doesn’t mean they’re not listening. If at all possible, encourage discussion and contribution. Give everyone breaks to stretch and move around. And give as much freedom as possible on what to learn about. You might be surprised what people are capable of when these reasonable steps are taken to give everyone room to thrive.

That’s all for now, hopefully you got something out of this unwieldy ramble. I’d be curious to hear if you’ve run into any accidental accommodations in your life and how they’ve helped. Until next time!

#actuallyadhd #Actually ADHD #adhd #gifted kids #former gifted kid

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im-the-king-of-the-ocean · 3 years

Note

a, c, f, and g for dead souls living?

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

I think I explained this once already somewhere, but Souls’s title is a reference to the term ‘Dead Man Walking’. (I assumed it had something to do with zombies and I thought that it would be fun to use it.)

‘Man’ was replaced with ‘Souls’ bc I Souls as a word was a better fit for RWBY.

‘Walking’ became ‘Living’ bc I wanted a reference to how, in the fic, Ruby and Penny are presumed dead after Beacon, but they’re actually alive.

C: What member do you identify with most?

In the context of Souls, I’d say Ruby probably. If I’m being brutally honest, a part of the reason I’m drawn to writing stories like this is having past experiences as a kid who was often discussed by doctors like I wasn’t there. They’d decide they knew what was best for me or my health without my input (which, okay, I was a kid, there was some logic there, I’ll admit), but it still never felt great. Subsequently, I tend to be drawn to narratives where characters start out in an equally helpless position, but manage to successfully take control back in a giant Fuck You.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Penny?

…are you in my mind?

I think you’re in mine?

How is this happening?

I don’t know. What is even happening?

It’s a conversation, but it’s hard to know who’s saying what. Ruby feels like the thoughts are hers and like they aren’t hers all at the same time. It’s confusing. Her head hurts. She feels the beginning throbs of a headache.

I’m sorry! That’s definitely Penny thinking in Ruby’s head. Toward her head? What? Maybe if I go into sleep mode, this’ll end. You won’t hurt so much.

NO! Ruby mentally shouts back. She doesn’t want to be alone. I don’t want you to go. Stay, please. PLEASE.

Okay.

It’s easier to identify Penny’s presence in Ruby’s mind as something separate from herself now.

This is the first scene where Ruby and Penny figure out they’re telepathically connected, so it was important to me that it goes over well (since that whole thing is a big factor of the fic and I needed to convince people to like it).

It was difficult to figure out. I needed to make sure it came across that Ruby and Penny aren’t physically talking to each other and they’re just beginning to sort out this method of communication, while also getting across what they’re saying.

Overall, I think it went well (tho I’m still worried that readers may not like the telepathy concept as a whole, altho it hasn’t come up as an issue).

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Both, sort of.

The broad, overall narrative strokes I want to happen are planned out way ahead of time for the most part. Currently speaking I have up to Ch14 pretty much set in stone and have a fairly good idea of the narrative beats that’ll happen up to 18. Beyond that, I have a general idea of where Souls is going, but I’m waiting until I’m further along in writing to really start nailing details down.

Individual chapters are generally worked on in chronological order. I won’t start on the next one until I finish the one right before it (mostly to be safe in case something changes during the writing process). I’m working on Ch11 now, for instance, but I didn’t greenlight myself to work on it until 10 was completely done.

Scenes for a specific chapter, though, tend to be more chaotic. I work on whichever I have inspiration for at the time. Sometimes I’ll write the last scene of a chapter first, then the first scene, and then the middle. Sometimes I’ll write the middle scene first...you get the idea.

Scenes can also jump around between chapters, perspectives, and order during the writing process too. Ch10′s cookie scene in Ironwood’s office, for instance, also had a considered version where it would have been from Ruby’s pov and thus would have been pushed back to Ch11.

#the-moogle-of-your-nightmares #whirls writing #dead souls living

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artificialqueens · 4 years

Text

wild flower, chapter four (shalaska) 4/11 - freyja

A/N: If you will turn you attention to the title, you will notice that the _/10 has jumped to an 11. This chapter got wildly out of hand and morphed into two. Someone please save me from myself. Again, thank you thank you thank you to my wonderful sweet beta Frey. I promise all bullying is out of fondness.

And as for chapter four: Alaska fights with Sharon (nothing new), Alaska gets a bath (very new), and things very quickly turn for the worse (more of a matter of degree). Have fun :)

🌸

“I love it. It is wild with adventure.” – Henry Starr describing the bandit life in the Old West shortly before he was shot to death in a gunfight in Arkansas.

🌸

Sharon’s clothes don’t fit quite right.

It’s to be expected - Alaska’s spindly frame doesn’t quite suit the concept of sharing clothes - but she still finds herself desperately smoothing the places where the shirt bunches at her skirt, nearly half of it already tucked into the waist. She steps back to see most of her torso in Sharon’s cracked hand mirror that leans against the middle of the tent frame, and sighs. She’s unused to seeing herself without a corset, and she doesn’t think she likes it. She feels like some pioneer woman, someone who doesn’t know how to dress well, nevermind afford to. The faded pink of the skirt and the cigarette burn on the sleeve of the shirt bother her - no doubt these clothes are old. She stares at herself for a long time in the flickering candlelight. She hardly looks like herself.

She hardly feels like herself.

She wonders, vaguely, at the age of the clothes as she tugs on the too-short sleeves of the shirt fruitlessly. They have to be at least several years old, judging by the old fashioned look of the skirt fabric, and probably from a poorer family. Whoever had owned these had worked the clothes into a wearied thinness.

She realizes, with a jolt, that these probably came from Sharon’s life before becoming an outlaw.

She’d known, logically, that Sharon wasn’t born a bandit. But to see evidence of a former, civilized life… it intrigues her. Rather than help to complete the mystery of Sharon Needles, it only helps add to it.

Alaska runs her fingers over the skirt with a new reverence. What did Sharon do in this? Work a farm? Serve a bar?

Fantasies start to build in her head, and suddenly she’s wondering what had made Sharon turn to a life of crime, or if nothing had happened, if she was predisposed to it, or if–

“I know outlaws are supposed to ride by night, but I would like to sleep while it’s still dark out,” Sharon calls through the tent flap, and Alaska jolts, feeling like she’s just been caught doing something naughty.

“Sorry,” Alaska calls out reflexively, and then immediately regrets it. She has the right to take up a little bit of Sharon’s time, considering the wrench Sharon had thrown into Alaska’s life. She’s tempted to wait an obnoxious fifteen more minutes just to prove it, but she ends up only taking the time needed to roll the sleeves up to hide their awkward length, irritation fading quickly.

She takes one last glance into the mirror, under the spell of some ridiculous urge to look good for Sh– the camp, and unclasps the first button of her shirt before she can talk herself out of it.

Why not take advantage of the lack of society she’s been forced into?

She smooths her shirt once more before ducking out of the tent, spotting Sharon sitting in the grass, a lit cigarette between her lips.

Alaska thinks of the burn on the shirt sleeve, and her heart does a strange flutter at the thought of it pressed against her skin.

“I’m done,” she says impatiently when Sharon doesn’t immediately look at her, eyes pointed up towards the stars. Alaska follows her gaze, and she manages to pick out Orion when the sound of Sharon’s voice brings her back down to Earth.

“Great,” Sharon says sarcastically, her eyes twinkling. “It only took you twenty five years.”

“Really? It felt more like fifty,” Alaska says dryly, and Sharon smirks. She stands, surveying Alaska with something like pride.

“You look good,” she says, taking a draw of her cigarette. “The shirt fits you great.” She looks pointedly at the place where Alaska’s collarbone is on display, and Alaska just barely stops herself from covering it, instead meeting Sharon’s eyes steadily despite the blush in her cheeks.

“It’s a little warm,” she says by way of explanation, despite the very real chill in the air, and Sharon cackles, sounding a little too much like an evil witch on a broomstick.

“I get it,” she says, and Alaska’s gaze wanders down to Sharon’s half open shirt, her usual overcoat still in the tent, before she can control herself. She snaps her gaze back up to Sharon’s face quickly, but Sharon’s smirk tells her that she’s been caught.

They stare at each other for a moment, Sharon’s smirk fading in favor of something softer, Alaska entranced by the glow of the cigarette reflected in Sharon’s eyes. The silence and the familiarity of the stare embolden her to ask the question that has been on the tip of her tongue since the moment she arrived into camp.

“Who were you?” Alaska asks quietly. The wind blows softly. “Before all of this?”

The warmth in Sharon’s gaze flickers away, wariness and distrust shuttering her expression almost instantly.

“Does it matter?"

The message is clear: drop it. But Alaska wants to know, and Alaska is used to getting what she wants.

“Come on,” she says, voice verging on a whine. “The occasion for this skirt isn’t a robbery.”

Sharon doesn’t smile at the tease. “Drop it, Alaska.”

“Why pink? I see black as more your color.”

“I said drop it,” Sharon says lowly, voice full of barely restrained anger. Alaska feels a spark of irritation at the tone.

“I think I deserve to know at least a little bit about the woman who kidnapped me,” Alaska snaps, dropping her smirk. “At least to be polite.”

“I’m not exactly known for being polite.”

“You know who I am,” Alaska starts, raising her voice. “You know what I come from, you–”

“Anything you’ve told me has been of your own choosing,” Sharon snarls, her cold expression breaking into something sharper. “I have never forced you to share anything but the information that you shouldn’t have had anyway.”

Alaska scowls. “Please, you’ve been trying to nose your way into my life since day fucking one. You didn’t have to force me.”

“You think I actually care about your life as a rich woman in the big city?” Sharon sneers. “You think I want to know how hard it is to find the prettiest dress on the market? You think I want to hear about how difficult it is to figure out exactly how much more money you want to marry into?”

The words sting, and Alaska steps back, surprised. She’s hurt, and tears well up in her eyes along with her anger and her embarrassment. “You have no fucking idea what my life is like,” she says, nearly yelling. “You don’t get to sit there and speculate on how easy my life is compared to what? What did you do? Milk cows?”

Sharon just stares at her, face blank with anger. “I’m sorry,” she says eventually. “From what you said, I thought I knew everything about you.”

“Fuck you,” Alaska says. To her horror, a tear escapes her eye, running down her nose and onto her cheek. She wipes it away angrily, embarrassed.

Sharon deflates, letting out a long breath. “So you’ve said.”

They stand in silence for a long time, the cool air whipping their hair and clothes around. Alaska tries to focus on it, imagining it cooling her anger.

Her temper has always been quick, to her detriment, but it’s also always been quick to cool. Even with Sharon’s words still stinging, she finds it in herself to calm down enough to look at Sharon without immediate irritation, and she counts it as a win.

She can only hope that Sharon doesn’t hold onto anger like her father does.

“Come on,” Sharon sighs. She looks tired, but there doesn’t seem to be much anger left in her. “I’ll take you to your tent.”

Alaska nearly protests that she can find her way back on her own, but she bites her tongue. The air between them is tense, and Alaska knows that one careless remark could start another argument like a lit match to gasoline.

“I’m going hunting tomorrow morning with a couple of the girls,” Sharon says as they walk. “But I should be back before noon. Try to stay with Jinkx.”

“What, the other girls a little too dangerous for me?” Alaska says archly.

“Yes,” Sharon says bluntly, and Alaska feels a small pinch of fear at her serious tone. Alaska must look the way she feels, because Sharon laughs a little when she looks at her. The tension seems to fade almost instantly at the sound, and Alaska allows herself to relax an increment as Sharon opens her mouth to say something else.

“They won’t shoot you - probably. They’ll just be….” she trails off, frowning slightly.

“Mean?” Alaska suggests, and Sharon laughs again.

“Sure!”

They fall into silence again, this time a comfortable one, and Alaska tries to decide how she feels, being left alone at the camp. Despite Sharon’s laughter, she’s paranoid about the women she hasn’t quite met yet. She trusts Jinkx, at least as much as she’s willing to trust anyone here, but she’d seen how Roxxxy had reacted to Jinkx’s authority. What if these other women were worse?

“Take me with you,” Alaska blurts out, panic making her decisions for her. “To hunt.”

Sharon laughs a little, bemused. “Why?”

“I want to learn to shoot.” She says it because she doesn’t want to admit that she’s afraid of the unknown women, but as soon as the words are out of her mouth, she finds herself meaning them. She wants to learn how to defend herself - she wants to take as much control in this new situation as possible.

“Very funny.”

“I’m being serious.”

The smile fades away from Sharon’s face. “Alaska, I’m not giving you a weapon.”

Alaska frowns. “It’s not like I’m going to shoot you.” Unless I find it necessary.

“It’s not happening,” Sharon says. “You’re under our protection, and that’s enough.”

“I didn’t tell you it was for defense,” Alaska says, as they reach her tent. Sharon smirks.

“If you’re not going to shoot me, there’s only one other option,” she says, turning to walk away. “And that is to shoot Solomon.”

And with that, she’s gone.

🌸

When Alaska wakes up in the morning, Detox and Roxxxy are gone.

Alaska is alarmed for a brief moment, before she remembers the planned hunting trip, and then she relaxes, spreading her arms out and enjoying the sensation of being alone for the first time in two days.

She lies there for some time, enjoying her chance to relax, but the smell of meat cooking and Jinkx’s soft voice carrying through the canvas of the tent has her getting up eventually, her stomach growling.

She fixes her hair the best she can in a small hand mirror she finds, and she tries not to linger too long on the bags under her eyes. She takes a final moment to take a breath, steeling herself for another day amongst outlaws, possible danger, and stress, and walks outside.

Detox and Roxxxy’s tent is probably the closest to the fire pit, so Jinkx and a brunette woman covered in freckles beside her see Alaska almost immediately after she emerges.

“Aw, she’s cute!” the woman says, and she sounds like she’s eaten Texas for breakfast. “Y’all didn’t tell me she was cute!”

Alaska blushes, smiling back at Jinkx when she grins apologetically from beside the woman. “I don’t know why,” Alaska says, sitting on a log and flipping her hair back. “It is my defining feature.”

“Oh, and she’s funny too!” the woman cries, her green eyes wide open with exaggerated shock. “Where’d Sharon pick this one up? New York?”

Alaska hesitates. “Well….”

The woman throws her hands up, nearly knocking over the pan she has on the fire. Jinkx stills her arm, shooting her an exasperated look. “I swear, I’m a psychic or somethin’.”

“You’re not a psychic,” Jinkx laughs. “Alaska just oozes ‘New York’. Alaska, meet Alyssa - Alyssa, Alaska,” she introduces, and Alyssa bows her head in acknowledgement, lips pursed. The expression sparks something in Alaska’s memory, and in another instant, she’s gasping in recognition.

“Not Alyssa Edwards?”

Alyssa grins crookedly, clearly pleased at the recognition. “The one and only, baby.”

“You disappeared years ago - I was supposed to see your show two weeks after you vanished. Everyone looked for you for months - you’ve been here the whole time?”

“Some birds weren’t meant to be kept in cages, darlin’,” Alyssa says, and Jinkx shoots her a fond look.

“You were perfectly happy shooting for show,” she says. “It wasn’t until Sharon came and told you there was money in being an outlaw that you finally came with us.”

Alyssa laughs. “You’re right, girl, you’re right,” she says. “I miss it sometimes, but I’d miss y’all more if I went back to it.”

“And you’d have a tough time usurping Coco Montrese,” Jinkx says. Alyssa’s face darkens.

“Don’t you ever say that name to me again,” she says, but Jinkx’s giggles take away any of its intimidation.

“Sorry.”

Alaska sits back, watching the exchange and staring in disbelief. Alyssa Edwards, the most popular show in North America, the sharpest woman shooter in the West, the woman who’d disappeared one night, never to be seen again - is hanging around Sharon Needles and cooking breakfast.

It was enough to make Alaska’s head spin.

Alyssa, being a young woman with deadly aim, had been an obsession of hers at the age of eleven, a result of her fascination with the West and its outlaws. If this had happened to her thirteen years ago, she’s sure she would have fainted with delight.

Now, she’s starting to suspect eleven years old Alaska had poor taste.

“Alaska,” Jinkx says, jerking her out of her reverie. “Why don’t you go take a bath in the stream? This won’t be ready for another half hour, and the rest of the girls aren’t even up yet.”

“Unless you want to ask me any questions, of course,” Alyssa says, and Alaska laughs, standing.

“I need a bath. Desperately,” she says. “But I’ll compile a list for when I’m back. I need to know, though,” she looks at Jinkx, raising her eyebrows, “are cougars a problem?”

Jinkx looks like she’s trying to hold back a smile and is failing miserably. “You’re fine. I probably wouldn’t be able to draw fast enough to shoot one, anyway, and if Alyssa goes I’ll burn breakfast.”

“Glad to know where your priorities are,” Alaska says dryly. “I thought the agreement was to protect me?”

“It’s fine. Go take a bath. It’ll do you good.”

“Thanks,” Alaska drawls, but she saunters down the dirt path towards the stream, keeping to her word and compiling a list of questions for Alyssa, some childhood excitement still making her heartbeat quicken.

She feels a little awkward undressing in the middle of the woods, knowing that anyone can see her if they pass, and she gets into the water as quickly as she can.

It feels amazing.

She sighs at the chill of it, a relief in the hot morning sun, and doesn’t hesitate to duck her head under, loosening the pins in her hair and throwing them in the direction of her clothes crumpled on the shore. Giddy with how amazing the water feels on her bare skin and feeling almost rejuvenated with the cold, she swims around a little, floating on her back and letting the Sun warm her face.

By the time she’s finished, the majority of the dust has floated away from her body, and she’s just beginning to scrub it out of her hair, when the sound of horses galloping past makes her pause.

After a few moments of still silence, she begins scrubbing again, making sure to keep her eyes and ears open. Sure enough, a few minutes pass, and she hears a shout echo down the path from the camp. The intensity and urgency behind it makes her heart drop, and she freezes, listening urgently.

Suddenly, more shouts, loud and distressed, can be heard, the words barely distinguishable, but the emotions clear. Alaska’s just beginning to move out of the water when she hears Sharon’s voice, disturbingly desperate, join the others.

Something within her jumpstarts, and she shoots out of the water, pulling her clothing on as quickly as she can. She decides to forgo her boots and their laces, instead grabbing them and flying up the hill, no plan in mind other than to help somehow, some way.

She runs into the camp to see mass chaos.

Alyssa is running across camp, full skirt hitched up nearly to her waist, with Sharon shouting at her to “Get Katya, now! Hurry!”

Roxxxy is echoing her sentiments, sobbing, supporting Detox over her shoulder. Detox’s head lolls against her chest, and a dark, wet patch on her shirt over her ribs glistens gruesomely in the sunlight.

Willam, holding a piece of cloth in her hands, is running from one of the tents towards Jinkx, who stands near Cerrone. Morgan is slumped over the horse’s neck, clearly unconscious, and Jinkx presses her hands desperately against the other woman’s thigh, her hands covered in blood.

Sharon stands in the midst of all of it, shouting orders and face even paler than usual, stark against her dark hair.

“Fuck,” Alaska says helpfully, and she rushes forward.

She goes to support Detox’s other arm, taking some of the weight off of Roxxxy, who looks at her gratefully.

“Alaska, thank fuck,” Sharon says, placing a hand over her ribs in relief. “Help Katya when she comes– she’s coming now, thank fucking god.”

“What happened?” Katya says, sprinting over with a speed much faster than Alaska would have previously expected, Alyssa close behind. “What’s going on?”

“Morgan’s shot in the leg,” Jinkx says, wrapping the cloth above the wound. “Detox has a bullet between her ribs, so get to her first.”

Katya is at Alaska’s side in an instant, taking Detox’s arm from her. “And why isn’t she on a horse?”

“She insisted she was fine,” Roxxxy says tearfully. “I tried to stop her but–”

“Detox is too willful, I know,” Katya says quickly. “Let’s get her to my tent. Quickly.”

Sharon looks at Morgan, worry clear in her eyes. “Jinkx–”

“I’m following,” Jinkx says, leading Cerrone behind the three women.

Alaska lets out a breath, the situation seeming to calm with Katya’s presence and her expertise. She looks at Sharon, who looks the opposite of okay.

“Are you okay?” Alaska asks tentatively, walking over.

Sharon grimaces. “Peachy,” she says sarcastically, but her voice is strained oddly.

Alaska frowns. “Are you sure you’re–” her eyes catch on Sharon’s hand, still pressed against her ribs, and her heart stops at the wetness of the coat around it, nearly invisible against the dark fabric. “Fuck.”

“It’s just a graze,” Sharon says quickly, following her gaze. Alaska glares at her, suddenly angry.

“Why didn’t you tell anyone?” she snaps. “Katya was right there!”

“Detox was shot in the fucking ribs!” Sharon shoots back. “Morgan was bleeding out. Fuck!”

“We’re going to Katya. Right now.”

“Oh, did you become the boss while I was gone? I can take care of myself.”

Alaska presses her lips together. “Sharon–” But Sharon’s already taking a step towards her tent, and Alaska instinctively grabs her arm to hold her back. It must jostle something, because Sharon suddenly goes weak at the knees, and all Alaska can do is slow her descent.

“Ah,” Sharon says, expression twisted with pain. Her hand comes up to cover her wound again, the other supporting her position on the ground.

Alaska doesn’t know what to do, kneeling beside her and placing a hand on her back. “Jesus, Sharon,” she says, more concerned than she would like to let on. Sharon sucks in a breath through her teeth.

“Get Katya,” she says, and then she faints.

🌸

Alaska waits nervously outside of Sharon’s tent, Jinkx hovering close beside her and unsuccessfully trying to comfort the both of them.

“She said it was just a graze,” Jinkx says, and Alaska raises an eyebrow, irritated.

“She fainted.”

Jinkx looks like she’s about to cry, and Alaska can’t bear to look at it. She instead glues her eyes to the front of the tent, waiting impatiently for Katya to emerge.

She’s sure Sharon is fine.

But what if she isn’t? What if she’s dying? She should be grateful at the thought - she should celebrate. But something like fear shoots through her like a bullet instead, and putting it towards losing her protection doesn’t feel quite right. No, she thinks, bemused. I just don’t want Sharon to die.

It’s called being a good Christian, she tells herself, and Katya’s coming out of the tent allows her to get away with the lie without much more thought.

Both Jinkx and Alaska rush forward, and Katya holds up her hands to ward them off, giving a tight smile. She looks exhausted. “It really is just a graze,” she says to Jinkx, and the other woman slumps in relief.

“Really?” Alaska says, her own relief sparking more irritation rather than soothing it. “Just a graze?”

“Sharon is known for being dramatic,” Katya jokes, but her smile fades quickly. “No, she probably fainted more from blood loss and pain than the actual wound. She only needed three stitches.”

“So she’s okay?” Jinkx asks.

“Yes,” Katya laughs. “Don’t you trust me?”

Jinkx finally smiles, although her eyes are still worried. “Yes,” she says. “Of course. Thank you.”

“One other thing,” Katya says, a little more seriously. “Morgan is staying in the medical tent because I don’t want her sleeping in a crowded tent. I’ll be taking her place with Adore and Willam. As for Detox…”

“You don’t want her sleeping in a crowd either,” Jinkx finishes, and Alaska can’t help but feel a little pleased with the news. Even with Roxxxy’s grateful look to her earlier, the pair still frightened her, with Roxxxy’s clear anger and Detox’s strength. To not have to sleep with them would be a blessing.

“Alaska will have to find another place to sleep.”

Jinkx nods, looking thoughtful. Then, suddenly, her eyes widen. “Oh my God, she’s going to have to sleep with Sharon.”

Alaska colors at the phrasing. “What? No,” she says quickly, glancing at the tent. She can see many ways in which this could go wrong. Very many ways. Suddenly, Roxxxy and Detox seem like the best option.

“Why not with you?” Alaska sucks in a breath as the words escape her, belatedly realizing how rude they might seem, especially to Sharon’s best friend.

There’s a horrifying beat of silence.

To her relief and confusion, Jinkx looks at her like she’s trying not to laugh. “You don’t want to sleep with Sharon?”

“No, that’s not what I–”

“I don’t blame you. She’s a nightmare,” Jinkx says, smiling, obviously swallowing her laughter. Alaska still doesn’t see what’s quite so funny, but she lets it go. “But my tent is already too small with only me and Alyssa.”

“Perfect,” Katya interrupts, clearly over the conversation. She looks at Alaska. “You can look after her. Here-” she presses a wet piece of cloth into Alaska’s hands, along with a small bottle of whiskey. “Clean her wound with this. I didn’t have time to properly disinfect it - I need to be with Morgan. She was still bleeding when I came for Sharon.” And with that, she hustles away, leaving a stunned Alaska to look at the supplies in her hands and Jinkx to let out some of the giggles she’d been holding back.

“Sharon’s going to love this,” she says, grinning maniacally at the whiskey. “It’ll teach her to be more careful.”

“She’s reckless?” Alaska asks, examining the whiskey label. She wonders if it was included in Katya’s medical supplies budget, and the thought of using it against open flesh makes her cringe.

“To an irritating extent.”

Alaska takes a step towards Sharon’s tent, heart pounding for seemingly no reason. She’s been alone with Sharon before - she should be fine. She can hold her own.

Her palms are sweaty where they hold the bottle and the rag.

She stops just before entering, turning back towards Jinkx, who raises an eyebrow.

“Hurry along - I’d like to talk to Sharon about something.”

“What happened?” she asks. “Do you know?”

Jinkx’s expression turns solemn, and Alaska is surprised to see a hint of anger flicker across her normally sweet face. “Morgan said they were ambushed,” she says. “She guesses by Solomon’s gang. She can be paranoid, but….”

“He seems the most likely,” Alaska finishes, the news only adding to her nerves. Solomon is a real threat, and an active one. She can only hope that any news about her presence at her uncle’s meeting died with Solomon’s men.

She feels her gut churn at the thought, disgusted with herself, but there’s no point in it. They’re dead, so she might as well acknowledge the benefits.

Jinkx must see something on her face, because her voice is soft when she next speaks. “Take your time with Sharon. I’ll come back later.”

Alaska can’t possibly see how this is a favor to her, as Jinkx’s tone suggests, but she can’t bring herself to ask. She instead forces a smile and a ‘thank you’, and she ducks into the tent before she can come up with another excuse to prolong her entrance.

Sharon looks awake and aware when Alaska first sees her, lying down on her back and looking irritated about it.

“Alaska?” she asks, raising her head slightly and frowning. Alaska hovers at the entrance, feeling awkward in a way she hasn’t ever felt around Sharon. It’s a strange realization.

“I’m here to take care of you,” she says after a moment, and Sharon groans, letting her head flop back against her pillow.

“Great,” she moans. “Now I know who they care about the least. Would have been nicer if they’d just shot me in the head.”

"I’m not going to kill you,” Alaska says, offended, despite just moments ago thinking that it would be beneficial for Sharon to die. Currently, Sharon looks a little too pathetic for her to be thinking those thoughts. “I’m not like you. I don’t kill people just because they’re vulnerable.”

“I’m flattered,” Sharon says dryly. “But I feel like you’re purposefully misunderstanding who I am.”

“Don’t care,” Alaska says, moving to kneel beside Sharon and feeling bolder with Sharon’s humor. Had Sharon looked more like an invalid, it would have continued to feel strange - she would have had to be nice.

Sharon rolls her eyes.

Alaska unscrews the lid of the whiskey, ignoring her. Sharon eyes her warily.

“Please tell me that’s for drinking,” she says, voice bordering on a whine. Alaska is surprised to hear it.

“You know it’s not,” she says. Sharon groans, and she raises her eyebrows, unimpressed. “Don’t tell me you’re a bad patient.”

“You can talk after you’ve had a bullet wound,” Sharon shoots back, and Alaska flattens her lips, unimpressed.

“Katya was right,” she sighs, dampening the rag with the whiskey. “‘Dramatic’ is the perfect word for you.”

“Like you’d be much better.”

“I’m a spoiled, rich girl, remember?” Alaska says lightly, putting the bottle on the ground beside her. “Dramatics are to be expected, if not encouraged.”

Sharon’s face softens a litte. “I’m sorry about that,” she says, and the apology startles Alaska. Apologies were hard for her to admit to - she would have expected it to be worse for an outlaw. “I didn’t mean it.”

Alaska snorts, but she can’t quite get the edge she wants behind it. “Yeah, I’m sure you actually really want to hear about my latest dress.”

Sharon’s lips twitch up in a smirk. “Only if I get to see you in it,” she says, and Alaska flushes at the ‘and out’ that lingers, unsaid.

“Well,” she says, irritated that even injured and on her back Sharon seems to have the conversational upper hand, “right now, I get to see you out of this.” And with that, she tugs up Sharon’s shirt without warning, making Sharon flinch.

“Jesus!” she snaps out, voice tinged with pain, and Alaska’s heart drops with worry.

“Did I hurt you?” she asks, running her fingers over Sharon’s bandages worriedly.

“A little,” Sharon admits, taking deep breaths. “I know it’s already been a few minutes, but I tend to heal slowly.”

“I’m sorry,” Alaska says, stomach twisting with guilt. “I was just trying to–”

“Get back at me?” Sharon suggests, and she grimaces.

“Yes,” she says, taking a moment to look at Sharon’s face instead of her bandages, which are already spotted with red. She’s smirking, and Alaska immediately understands what she meant by ‘get back at’. She’s right, Alaska had tried to twist the conversation into one she controlled, but her guilt still vanishes instantly. “But I’d say you deserved it.”

“The attempt, maybe,” Sharon says. “But not the result.”

“Oh,” Alaska says lightly, finding the knot tying Sharon’s bandages and untying it. “I don’t know about that.”

Sharon doesn’t respond, so Alaska begins to peel up her bandages, trying to be as gentle as she can and ignoring Sharon’s winces as she tugs some of them off, the blood acting as some sort of glue. She bites back her urge to apologize. This needs to happen, and Sharon’s already gotten an apology today.

As she removes the last of the bandage, Alaska examines the wound, trying to gauge how bad it is, despite Katya’s reassurances. Doctors undersell things. Her dead mother could tell you that.

It’s about four inches long, stretching diagonally from just under Sharon’s chest to the end of her ribcage, and the fact that Katya has put stitches into it tells her it’s deep. She sucks in a breath through her teeth in sympathy.

“Looks like it hurts,” she says quietly.

“Well, I was shot,” Sharon says, and Alaska raises an eyebrow.

“You’re right,” she says dryly. “Which is why we need to clean it.” She dampens the cloth again, this time with intent, and Sharon puts a hand over her eyes.

“I hate my life,” she groans, but it quickly devolves into a hiss as Alaska touches the alcohol to the edge of the wound.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Alaska tells her, and she tries to rub a little bit of the dried blood away, jumping when Sharon yelps a little.

“Fuck you,” she snaps, and Alaska gives her a look.

“That’s my line.”

“God, you know you’re wealthy when you can own a phrase in the English language,” Sharon says, breathing a little heavily. She’s still smiling, though, the small gap in her teeth just visible. “Especially one so common.”

Alaska wipes a little more blood as punishment, and Sharon makes a pained sound.

“Gently, please,” she says, and Alaska feels a small twinge of guilt at the way her voice wavers. “I might faint on you again.”

“And you think I’m the princess,” Alaska mutters, but when she begins again, she’s as gentle as she can possibly be.

“I wasn’t the one in the pink silk dress,” Sharon says, and Alaska raises her rag threateningly.

“This could be a lot worse,” she warns, and Sharon falls silent, though her mouth is still twisted into a slight smirk. “Thank you,” Alaska says primarily, and she resumes her work.

The process takes a long time, especially with how slowly Alaska has to go in order to be gentle. Sharon stops talking around halfway through, trying her best to muffle her pained noises as Alaska gets closer to the center of the wound. Alaska nearly wants to cry herself, resisting the urge to go faster to end the small sobs Sharon tries and fails to hide.

She’s sweating by the end of it, the evening Sun baking through the tent walls, and she’s breathing almost as hard as Sharon. She lets out a breath of relief, hanging the rag over the whiskey bottle and picking up the bandages.

Sharon opens her eyes as Alaska starts to cover the wound, obviously exhausted. “You’re done?”

Alaska glances at her, trying not to linger on the tear tracks leading down the side of her face to her temple. “Yes.”

Sharon sighs, closing her eyes again. “Thank fucking god,” she mutters. “I could kiss you right now.”

Alaska stills, shocked and hardly daring to breathe. She waits for Sharon to continue, but she never does. “Sharon, wh–”

“Alaska?”

She nearly jumps out of her skin at the sound of a new voice, much louder than she and Sharon had been talking, and whips her head around to find Katya poking her head in. Katya raises her eyebrows.

“Sorry to interrupt your little, uh, свидание,” she says. “But I need you.”

“I don’t think I want to know what that word means,” Alaska says dryly, glancing back at Sharon. She seems to be out cold, and Alaska can’t help but feel intrigued by her face, strangely peaceful. She’s gotten so used to Sharon’s hard and sharp expressions - has the curve of her brow always been so lovely?

“It’s an appropriate word, I’ll tell you that,” Katya tells her. Alaska quickly looks away from Sharon, blushing to be caught staring. Katya’s eyes are twinkling at her when they meet eyes again, however, and Alaska almost thinks it’s worth it if it means getting rid of the seriousness that sits so strangely on Katya’s sharp features.

“You need me?” Alaska leads, and Katya startles like she’s just remembered something.

“Yes!” she says. “I need your help with Detox.”

“Not Roxxxy?”

“All Roxxxy can do is cry,” Katya says, clearly unimpressed.

“Have some sympathy,” Alaska says, standing up. Katya’s clear distaste strikes a nerve within her, and her next words are a little more heated than she’d intended. “That’s her friend.”

“A little more than that, I’d say,” Katya grins, eyes sparkling, and Alaska is suddenly reminded of how they’d parted before.

Strangely enough, Alaska doesn’t feel that same knee jerk fear she’d felt before. Her stomach still twists, although more guilty than fearful. Maybe that fear has faded in the face of Sharon’s wound. But, really, it’s faded in the face of Sharon’s latest proclamation.

Thank fucking god. I could kiss you right now.

It’s a phrase. A saying. Sharon had been half asleep, drunk with exhaustion. She’s proven herself to be a fan of innuendos, but Alaska would still be surprised if she were that forward. No, it had to have been a joke.

But still. The thought of Sharon kissing her sends a thrill through her body, and she isn’t quite sure she knows how to crush the feeling.

She isn’t quite sure she wants to, and she hates herself for it.

“Wrap her back up,” Katya says, eyes flickering between Alaska and Sharon. Alaska resents the knowing look on her face. “And meet me outside of my tent. Hurry - I’ve got the bleeding down, but we’re in the woods for as long as that bullet is in her.”

Alaska grimaces, nodding, and kneels back down beside Sharon as Katya ducks out. The tent flap closes behind her, and the afternoon sun vanishes, leaving them in the flickering candlelight of Sharon’s lantern. It’s strangely silent, Sharon’s soft breathing and distant voices outside the only noises filling the space.

Alaska’s heart beats quicker at the intimacy, feeling as though she shouldn’t be seeing Sharon so vulnerable, her expression so open. She feels simultaneously like she’s being watched closely and like she’s completely alone, and, with Sharon’s words from earlier still echoing in her ears, she finds herself taking advantage of it. She’s fascinated by Sharon’s face and the way her chest rises and falls slowly with her breaths, the way a strand of hair lies dark against her forehead. Alaska’s eyes trail down her face, her neck, her collarbone, and it’s not until her eyes catch on the bright red of Sharon’s injury that she’s jerked back into herself. A strange wave of tenderness suddenly washes over her, and she picks up the bandages without a second thought.

Sharon doesn’t move as Alaska spreads the salve over her stitches, keeping her fingers light, and she doesn’t even twitch as Alaska tightens the fresh bandages around her torso, tying the ends into a neat bow.

Alaska looks at her face after she finishes, drinking in her heavy, dark eyebrows and equally dark eyelashes, something fluttering in her stomach at this newfound ability to stare openly, to be with Sharon while also being entirely alone. It makes her brave.

Emboldened, she brushes the strand of hair lying across Sharon’s face to the side, hand almost going to cup the other woman’s cheek as she does so, like it was the next natural move. Sharon’s expression flickers for just a moment at the feeling, and Alaska snatches her hand away like she’s just been burned, blushing so fiercely she can feel it in her ears.

She doesn’t think she’s blushed this hard in her life, and Sharon isn’t even awake to tease it out of her. She’d gone along this path all on her own.

The thought makes her stomach dip strangely, and suddenly, she’s furious with herself - furious with Sharon. It’s so tempting to be herself here, to be free, but she isn’t staying. She can’t go back once she grants herself the freedom to break the law, and to stay here isn’t an option.

Sharon is not an option.

Sharon doesn’t awaken, but still fearful of somehow being caught red handed, Alaska gathers Katya’s supplies as quickly as she can. Nearly dropping the whiskey in her hurry, she practically runs out of the tent, something unpleasant squirming in her gut.

Sharon is not an option.

🌸

Surgery is not for the faint of heart, and after about two seconds of helping Katya, Alaska nearly collapses, black creeping in on the edges of her vision.

She’s sent to get Willam after that.

Katya asks her to wait, because she needs to check on Morgan still, and she would like someone to watch Detox while she’s gone, and apparently Willam is liable to wander off if left with any responsibility.

Alaska has been waiting outside of the med tent for over an hour when Willam comes out, her hands covered in blood and a nonchalant expression on her face. The image is a little disconcerting.

“Katya’s ready for you,” she says. “I’d be insulted that she trusts the new girl over me, but honestly I don’t blame her.”

“I’m not the new girl,” Alaska says, though she finds herself faltering in her words. “I’m just here until Solomon is dead and I can go back home.”

“Oh,” Willam says, shrugging. “Sorry.”

Alaska feels guilt twinge a little in her stomach, and she rushes to apologize. “I mean, not that I don’t want to - well, I don’t, but - it’s not that–”

“Alaska,” Willam interrupts, raising her voice only a little. “Alaska, right?”

Alaska nods, frowning a little.

“Listen. I don’t really care whether you stay or not. Just because Sharon likes you, doesn’t mean the rest of us find you interesting.”

Alaska reels back, shocked. “Well, I’m not,” she says. “And Sharon doesn’t - doesn’t like me. It’s just - we made a deal.”

“Don’t care!” Willam sing-songs, turning around and walking away. “Have fun with Detox!”

Alaska flips her off when she’s certain she can’t see her, and then she ducks into the tent only to be greeted by Katya’s blinding grin.

“Oh, Sharon likes you,” she says, bangs plastered to her forehead with sweat. “She doesn’t make deals on the first day of capture for just anyone, you know.”

Alaska ignores her, excusing her blush to herself as one from the heat, and she sits down on the crate next to Detox’s head, across from Katya. “Warm in here?” she asks instead, motioning to Katya’s bangs. Katya lets out a wheezing laugh, running her hands through her hair. When she’s done, her bangs stand up like they’re the points to a crown. Alaska doesn’t bother to hide her smile.

“Just a little,” she says. “I’m sure it was worse for Detox.”

“It was,” Detox groans, eyes fluttering open, and Alaska startles.

“You’re awake?”

Detox smirks. “I’ve been through this before.”

Katya rolls her eyes, letting out a breath of long suffering as she packs her small medkit. “You see this, да?” She points to a curved scar right below Detox’s belly button. “She got it in a knife fight. And she’s been shot before-” she points to two spots on Detox’s right arm. “-here and here. We spend a lot of time together. I hate her.”

Detox lets out a squawk of indignation, grimacing as it jerks her injury. “I hate you too, bitch!”

“I will see you next week, when you tear your stitches,” Katya tells her, grabbing one final needle. “Goodnight.” And then she’s out of the tent, making a beeline towards Morgan’s tent in the early evening light.

“I love that bitch,” Detox sighs after she’s gone, staring up at the tent ceiling. “I really think I’d be dead without her.”

“This kind of thing happens often?” Alaska says, raising an eyebrow. Detox snorts.

“Yeah. Glad you didn’t come?”

Alaska looks at her. “Sharon told you I wanted to come?”

“She did. I thought you didn’t want to be here.”

“I don’t,” Alaska stresses. “I can’t. I just thought–” she cuts herself off, suddenly embarrassed. Detox frowns.

“Thought what?” she asks, voice slightly softer than before.

“I just thought - I thought I would learn to protect myself,” she says. “I wanted to learn to shoot.”

“Oh, come on,” Detox says, expression disbelieving. “There’s more than that.”

“How could you possibly know that?” Alaska says, defensive.

“We’ve all been where you are!” Detox says. “You can’t tell me you didn’t want to break the rules, at least a little!”

“I didn’t–”

“Alaska,” Detox says, and Alaska tightens her lips. There’s a long period of silence.

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“I know everything I need to know,” Detox tells her. “I was you. Really, we all were, at some point.”

Alaska stares at her. “What do you mean?”

Detox rolls her eyes, obviously losing patience. “What, did you think we were all born outlaws?”

“No,” Alaska says. “Of course not, I’m not an idiot.”

Detox grants her a look that tells her she disagrees, and she scowls at it. “I’m not.”

There’s a long moment in which Detox just looks at Alaska, her expression slowly softening. “I was pretty rich,” Detox begins. The bluntness of her tone takes Alaska aback. “My father died and the heir, of course, wasn’t me. A cousin of mine inherited everything I could possibly call home, except for my clothes and a few books. I didn’t have anywhere to go.”

“There are places,” Alaska starts, but she falters at Detox’s cold, unimpressed look.

“You mean the places where I would never talk to anyone again? The places where women without husbands or money go to die, alone and unwanted?” she asks harshly, and Alaska doesn’t have a response. A familiar dread makes her stomach cold, the fear of what might happen if she never could bring herself to marry wrapping itself around her again. “Long story short, I met Sharon at a bar. We hit it off. She saved me.”

Alaska frowns at that word: ‘saved’. It seems dramatic, but the more she thinks about the apartments in Brooklyn, or the small houses littering the outskirts of the city, the more it seems to fit. She’d always thought of the people living in those places as ones who’d gambled their money away, or something equally condemnable.

What had Detox done wrong?

“I don’t need saving,” she says quietly, despite the ball of icy dread that still sits in her stomach. Going back home would mean going back to that dread, she’s starting to understand. Being at this camp has been like a vacation from her responsibilities, and suddenly, the idea of going back to them doesn’t seem appealing at all.

Detox looks at her for a long time before she raises an eyebrow. “You sure about that?”

The ‘no’ gets stuck in the back of her throat.

“Yes,” Alaska says.

#rpdr fanfiction #sharon needles #alaska thunderfuck #jinkx monsoon #alyssa edwards #katya zamolodchikova #detox icunt #willam belli #roxxxy andrews #shalaska #western au #cowboy au #lesbian au #wild flower #freyja #tw gun violence #tw minor surgery (stitches)#tw injuries

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xmanicpanicx · 4 years

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AUTHOR INTISAR KHANANI DISCUSSES HER BOOK THORN, GOING FROM INDIE TO TRADITIONAL PUBLISHING, AND WHAT’S NEXT

1) It’s been several years since you self-published the original version of Thorn. What major differences can your oldest fans expect from the new version?

Since being indie published, Thorn has gone through some major revisions—four rounds with my editors at HarperTeen, plus a couple of beta rounds as well. I restructured the middle of the story to improve pacing (and when I say restructure, I mean things like “move a character death up by eight chapters” which completely messes with your story logic and has ramifications that cascade through the rest of the book… yay me taking that on with a bright little smile!). I also delved much more deeply into Princess Alyrra’s point of view, which will hopefully result in a deeper and more emotionally resonant read. The story overall has grown by over 20,000 words!

2) What made you first decide to write Thorn and to model it after the Grimm Brothers’ fairy tale “The Goose Girl”?

I wrote the first draft of Thorn my senior year of university, in large part just to see if I could. I had always wanted to write a novel, so I set myself the challenge to write a chapter a week, and chose a fairy tale I loved as the basis. For unknown reasons, I thought having a plot ready-made would make writing easier. Let’s just say I had a lot to learn (both about fairy tales and writing!).

If you haven’t read it, “The Goose Girl” is a rather strange story about a princess who goes off to marry her betrothed, has her identity stolen by her maid along the way, and happily agrees to be a goose girl upon arrival in her new land. She also has a talking horse (who never tells anyone what happened) and, in the original, can command the wind, though she apparently forgot to use this power to defend herself from the maid.

This story raised a lot of questions for me, about why a princess would walk away from an apparent place of power and privilege, and what power we really have to choose our own fate when it feels like so many of our life decisions have already been decided for us, and what the ramifications are of walking away from one’s life when given the chance. Thorn grew from this into a story that is both dark and whimsical, packed with sorrow and with hope. It’s a tale of betrayal, and injustice, and sorcery, and learning to be strong in who you are and fight for what you understand to be right.

3) You handle a lot of difficult subjects in Thorn: domestic abuse, sexual violence, the motives behind villains’ actions, and, most importantly, what justice really is. How did you take on the challenge of writing about these things, especially something so contentious as justice?

I think it helped a lot that I wrote those first drafts for myself and no one else. It allowed me to engage with big, deep issues without worrying what a reader or publisher would think: it was for me, and a lot of what I wrote about were things I was struggling with myself. To be clear, I am not a victim of abuse or assault, but I am well aware of the impact of such violence on those around me. I was frustrated by YA reads treating these issues as if they could be magically shaken off or recovered from with the snap of one’s fingers. That does a disservice to all of our young people—to those who struggle and cannot shake off the trauma of what has been done to them (because that’s not how that works), and to those around them who can’t understand why they can’t shake off their past as easily as changing their clothes. When I realized that Alyrra was able to walk away from her life at court precisely because it had never granted her true safety despite her apparent rank and privilege, I knew that I would have to write her history of abuse as honestly and compassionately as possible.

With relation to justice—I first drafted Thorn the year of 9/11. I watched my country reel from the terrorist attack, and then turn our anger and firepower against whole other nations, rather than just the terrorist cells at play, making average citizens pay the price for an attack that they in no way caused… I struggled deeply with conceptions of justice, and what justice is without mercy, and the line between justice and revenge when it feels impossible to get justice at all. I don’t think there are any easy answers; like Alyrra, I think we must all continue to struggle to understand what justice looks like in the world around us, and how best to temper it with mercy.

4) If Thorn were to be made into a movie, who would be your dream cast?

Confession: I don’t watch a lot of movies, and I’m absolutely terrible at remembering names and faces in real life, let alone folks whom I only ever see on a screen for a short time (since having kids I have become inherently incapable of following series). But! I actually asked my launch team this question just for fun a few weeks ago, so I’m gonna draw from their suggestions based on how well they seem to mesh with my own ideas. *cough* *cough* That’s totally not cheating, right?

Princess Alyrra, heroine who’d rather just be a goose girl, goes to Jenna Coleman. This is actually a hard pick because Alyrra isn’t beautiful; she’s pleasant. So, honestly, if I knew more actresses, I’d pick someone with more of a girl-next-door look than a Hollywood shine.

Prince Kestrin, all shady and suspicious-like cuz reasons but actually a cinnamon roll at heart, goes to Dev Patel. For Valka, companion to Alyrra and her arch-nemesis, I’d pick Rose Leslie. And I’d choose Tilda Swinton as the Fae sorceress / lady whose look is basically death.

5) At the end of the original Thorn, you have an author’s note stating that you are in the process of writing a companion trilogy to Thorn. Goodreads is also listing Thorn as the first in a series. Can we expect more adventures for Alyrra, Kestrin, and Red Hawk in the future?

Yes! I just turned in edits on The Theft of Sunlight, the first in a companion duology to Thorn that features a new heroine, Rae. You’ll find a short story featuring her at the back of Thorn titled “The Bone Knife.” (Or you might have been one of those early readers who managed to nab it on it’s own back when it was indie published). Rae’s a fabulous heroine to write, dour and pragmatic, with a wonderfully dry sense of humor, and more than capable of doing whatever is needed to save her friends and her people. She ends up in the capital city, investigating what happens to the children who disappear off the streets across Menaiya. And she most certainly meets up with Alyrra, Kestrin, and a certain street thief or two. I am hoping to write a number of companion novels in this world, so hopefully we’ll continue to catch glimpses of beloved characters over the years to come.

6) Any final comments?

I just wanted to say thank you so much for hosting me on your blog! I hope everyone is staying well, staying home as much as possible, and washing your hands. My previous life was as a public health consultant with the Cincinnati Health Department, and I’m counting on all of you to do your best to keep everyone around us well. 😉 Take care!

Thanks, Intisar! We can’t wait for your next book. 🙂

#ya fiction #ya fantasy #2020 releases #indie authors #intisar khanani

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missfay49 · 4 years

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Sanders Sides Theory 01/15/20

You want a long theory? HERE’s A LONG FREAKIN THEORY.

To build off an earlier post of mine here, I believe we can reverse engineer the function of the next Side by analyzing the roles of the current known Sides in the context of their correlating sin. I’ve included some flower meanings based on the shirt release but couldn’t identify them all from the photos available. Please reach out to me if you have identified all the flowers.

Pride!Logan

Logic / Craves Stability / Reaction to adversity is to Double down

Logan is proud, but not about just anything. He values intelligence, critical thinking, and the lofty goals of exploration: re: the astronomy class hype, and “what really is at the bottom of the ocean?” He prides himself in being right 100% of the time and utilizes information to do so.

When he missuses the word “infinitesimal” it is devastating to him. It is brought up repeatedly in subsequent episodes and culminates in him feeling like one mistake will prevent him from ever being taken seriously again. He hates being wrong, because he believes that if he’s wrong, C!Thomas will literally fail at life, becoming destitute and homeless. The stakes are real.

He needs to ensure success, which is why he first pushes C!Thomas to pursue more traditional careers. His arc is about accepting that success in life can take on different forms.

Sloth!Virgil

Anxiety (Paranoia) / Reaction to adversity is to Give up

Virgil is often seen promoting activities that would be considered lazy, i.e. going back to bed in the middle of the day, staying home when they could go out, doing less work, trying fewer new things. His makeup is a dramatized symbol for lack of sleep. There are multiple instances showing him reluctant to spend more time even just in the presence of the other Sides; “Now I’m gonna go be cool, somewhere else.” Ducking out is the pinnacle of sloth.

But sloth as a behavior is just a symptom of the actual condition: social anxiety and mild paranoia. Check out my short paranoia theory here. Virgil resorts to inaction as a defense against feeling insecure about something. Wanted to go to that party, but you’re too nervous to talk to new people? Well, actually, just stay in. It’s safer and you need your rest.

That’s why Virgil’s arc is not about finding the motivation to do things; that would only work if laziness was the true problem. Instead, his arc is about learning to think through fears and overcome them, so C!Thomas can do what he actually wants, which is to be more social.

Gluttony!Patton

Morality / Flower: Blue Forget-me-not / Craves Community / Reaction to Adversity is to Fake-it-til-you-make-it

Patton is about cravings. Food, pets, friends; he wants it all. He’s about enjoying everything life has to offer, gosh-darn the consequences. He wants friends so badly he’s consistently willing to sacrifice his own well-being to put them first. The concept of morality often focuses on giving instead of receiving. It’s a way to prove to them that he’s a good friend, and therefore worth keeping around. What seems like sacrifice is actually a careful prioritization of his favorite thing to indulge in: acceptance. Being happy all the time is not just a show for the other Sides, it’s for C!Thomas’ friends as well. People don’t want to be around someone who’s sad, right? Gotta be happy, so they stick around.

Forget-me-nots are about happy memories and we already know Patton is a sucker for nostalgia. One of his favorite things are memories, so he goes to extreme lengths to make lots of good memories with his friends. Patton’s arc will ultimately be Not about diminishing his craving for friendship but realizing that he can be his most authentic self without losing them. He can loosen the rules that he internalized. Real friendship does not require perfection.

Greed!Deceit

Self-Preservation / Flower: Yellow Sunflower / Reaction to adversity is Sowing Discord

Deceit, like Logan, is also focused on C!Thomas’ success. The difference is, he could not care less what that success looks like, only that C!Thomas gets it. Where Logan is all about careful planning and preparedness, Deceit is about taking risks and seizing opportunities. How can C!Thomas get the most out of life? No, don’t worry about other people. There is only C!Thomas.

Deceit’s objective is to eliminate the consequences of C!Thomas’ mistakes and increase the rewards for his effort. He will do whatever it takes, whether that’s coaching C!Thomas to lie to others, or to be more honest with himself. His stance is that since our society is built on lies, we should be willing to use lies to navigate it. Deceit believes that if C!Thomas is honest to himself about what he wants, he’ll pursue it even at the risk of losing people along the way. Simply put, Deceit must learn that no one makes it alone. The sunflower symbolizes false riches, and this explains why Deceit’s assumption is wrong. We all depend on others to reach our full potential, and a world where C!Thomas has gained everything by discarding or disadvantaging others is one C!Thomas wouldn’t want to live in. It’s more difficult, but it’s worth it in the end to work with other people instead of around them.

Lust!Roman

Creativity / Flower: Red Rose / Reaction to adversity is Denial

It’s easy to see that Roman is all about finding that special someone. Red roses symbolize love. He’s dashing, brave, and often combats mythical creatures, not for fun (although it is fun), but to prove his manliness to a potential mate! But this Side is actually one of the most complicated. He believes himself to be the most handsome Side, and he better be, because it is his duty to secure the end-all-be-all of C!Thomas’ life: romantic love. Someone to spend your life with, grow old with. The initial conflict between Roman and Anxiety is entirely because having Anxiety around would theoretically lower his chances of securing a relationship. Once he saw that Anxiety could do what needed to be done in “Accepting Anxiety”, he was able to let go of that worry.

But remember, Roman is also about Self-Love. The creativity that he pumps out isn’t art for art’s sake; it’s to bring himself joy and to fill that hole in his heart with some kind of excitement. If he can’t throw all his passion at a person, he’ll throw it onto the stage. That’s why each time his work is criticized, he’s confronted with the fear that it’s all just a distraction anyway. Yes, he is objectively good at acting and enjoys it, but part of C!Thomas uses all these creative projects to feel something he isn’t getting anywhere else.

The Roman angst dates aaaall the way back to the Valentine’s Day Episode, wherein C!Thomas decided that platonic love was important to acknowledge, too. Roman had already stated in the first episode that he would focus on loving himself. But maybe on that particular Valentine’s day, C!Thomas stopped trying so hard to find romance. Maybe he fell back on what he already had, the love of his friends, and thought to himself, this could be enough. And each time an opportunity to feel true passion comes up again, C!Thomas rejects it. First when trying to rekindle things with the ex-boyfriend, then with the big call-back. C!Thomas is putting his love life on hold to deal with other things right now, and it’s wearing on Roman.

The worst part is that it’s entirely possible, maybe even likely, that Roman (and therefore C!Thomas) isn’t sure what will happen once he’s found someone. RE: Episode #1 – his greatest fear is rejection.

In “Am I Original?” C!Thomas states that if he only ever listened to Roman, he would be setting himself up for heartbreak. That’s why Roman makes the final ruling in the court room. That’s why he quietly accepts it every time they make a decision away from love (with impromptu exceptions – “PICK IT UP!”). He both wants and fears love at the same time. Roman’s arc isn’t really about what he needs to do differently, but about what C!Thomas needs to let him do for himself. His stories aren’t about him getting his way and then finding out he took it too far. They’re about him not getting anything at all. Once he gets the green light from C!Thomas, he will do what he’s always done; Throw caution to the wind in the pursuit of love.

Envy!Remus

Creativity / Flower: Green Dahlia / Reaction to adversity is Acting out for Attention

All the “Dark” Sides were pushed away for one reason or another, but it seems to hit Remus particularly hard. It’s not fair that his brother should be chosen over him. He considers himself not even just as good as Roman, but in many ways better at being creative! His range is limitless, and he is confident in his abilities, unlike his brother. He should be the main Creativity, not that crybaby!

Remus tries over and over again to make C!Thomas notice him. He gives everything he’s got into each new idea, hoping that this one will be ‘the one’ to earn him C!Thomas’ recognition, but it never does. Remus embodies envy. It is his driving force; ALL he wants is consideration for his ideas.

Since Remus feels envious, C!Thomas does too. If Remus wants to reach new heights of fame, so must C!Thomas! From Remus’ standpoint, Roman isn’t getting the job done, so he’ll just have to keep throwing idea-after-horrifying-idea at C!Thomas until he gets through to the man.

Wrath!X?

Now for the hard part: figuring out what’s missing. (You can check out my earlier Anger Theory here.)

Let’s summarize how the other Sides use their traits real quick:

Logan is proud of his intelligence that he uses to gain financial security.

Virgil is slothful as a result of his desire to feel safe.

Patton is gluttonous as the result of his goal to make C!Thomas feel happiness and enjoy life in the moment.

Deceit is greedy as a result of his goal to help C!Thomas navigate this world and come out on top.

Roman is lustful as a result of his goal to secure a loving, stable relationship for C!Thomas.

Remus is envious as a result of his goal to get C!Thomas to make a lasting mark on the world like so many have before.

For most of the Sides, the sin is directly related to the Sides’ function. It’s their method of achieving their goals. But there appears to be an outlier. Logan seems different. He doesn’t need to be proud in order to be intelligent, at least on the surface. But, maybe that’s not true. Maybe if he didn’t feel proud when he learned new things, he would have no motivation to seek out information in the first place. Therefore, pride is essential to Logan’s function.

All the Sides rely on their sin to accomplish their goals. They first have a goal, a job that they are supposed to complete for C!Thomas. Then, the sin is their method of executing that job. The function of the Side comes before the sin.

So, if wrath is the means, what is the goal? What does C!Thomas need to be angry about in order to accomplish it?

What are all the instances where we see C!Thomas (not the individual Sides) get mad, even a little?

TOAwLS - C!Thomas gets frustrated with Anxiety popping up even when nothing’s wrong.

TMvTH - C!Thomas gets mad at Logan and Patton for pelting him with conflicting goals.

GU - C!Thomas acts mad at Patton for dreaming too much, but really, he’s lashing out at Patton because the others are pushing him too far in the other direction.

MOP2 - C!Thomas rudely disregards Logan for disrupting nostalgia-time.

SVS - C!Thomas gets mad at himself for considering lying to his friends.

If we’re being honest, this is a short list, and some of these don’t even really qualify as anger. He’s more just kind of experiencing frustration as he works through things. The most angry he gets is when it affects real people in his life; Lee and Mary Lee’s wedding. He feels terrible about it, but he’s angry for two reasons here. First, that the scheduling conflict even exists, because it’s denying him an important opportunity. Second, because the situation caused him to confront a truth about himself that he’s never been comfortable with.

But we have one more example to work with; the Aside. In ATHD? - C!Thomas got mad at Rico for past feelings that weren’t even specifically against C!Thomas. We don’t see it, but we see the effects. C!Thomas is so angry with himself for lashing out, and it tells us that he’s had a lot of anger before that he never released. Anger about being in the closet when he was younger. There are plenty of hints in the episode on this theme:

Roman calls C!Thomas a snowflake.

This shot from the movie: “You must learn to control it. Fear will be your enemy.”

And most importantly, the lines “Don’t let them in, don’t let them see”. Patton did purposely sing those lines of the Frozen song “Let it go”, which has often been correlated to coming out of the closet, because that was directly tied to the theme of the premier Aside.

C!Thomas had so conditioned himself to defend his sexuality that even the mention of past prejudice was enough to set him off, causing him to overreact in the situation with Rico. He was transported back to a time when he was still closeted, afraid to come out because of people like Rico’s younger self. Now that he’s older, he feels anger toward the people he knew back then, and he took that anger out on Rico.

Let’s take a step back for a second. What is C!Thomas’ ultimate goal for himself? Balance. And what is C!Thomas’ ultimate goal for others? Love and understanding.

C!Thomas got as angry as he did because this isn’t just about him anymore. The prejudice that he remembered and was reacting to is something that people continue to face all the time. As much as he struggled, he’s empathetic enough to know that others must be struggling, too, and his anger at Rico was actually anger at prejudice.

When the last Side is revealed, it will signal that the arc is closing and the series will eventually be coming to an end. Will the series have made its mark? Way back in IIADS!!, Anxiety unintentionally suggested, “using your platform to positively affect your audience the same way Disney did with you” It’s not just about C!Thomas anymore. It’s about you. Us.

The biggest effect C!Thomas could have on his audience is self-actualization; becoming the most he can be and doing the most good for others that he possibly can. Prejudice is an issue that has personally affected him and clearly affects his audience. Fighting prejudice is a cause worth getting angry about, WORTH showing a little wrath.

Logan and Virgil have affected how C!Thomas takes in information. Deceit and Patton affect how he moves through that world. Roman and Remus affect how he wants his work to be seen on a personal level. But Wrath will be how C!Thomas affects the world at large. Wrath will lead the charge for affecting real change. Wrath will close out the series and launch a generation of inspired viewers to go out into their own worlds and fight for their freedoms. Wrath will be our hero.

Thanks so much for reading! This has gone on long enough, so I’m adding some bonus theories in the links below tomorrow with other things I noticed during the research for this post. Hope you enjoyed it!

Bonus Theory now here!

Bonus BONUS Theory now here!

#sanders sides theory #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #deceit sanders #romans sanders #remus sanders #orange sanders #pride!logan #sloth!virgil #gluttony!patton #greed!deceit #lust!roman #envy!remus #wrath!orange #01/15/20 #i've been working on this for over a month #such relief #wow

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