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phantomphangphucker · 1 year

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Phic Phight - Tailored Hijinks

For: @thejustdancerodent @mymadmedleyw @lexosaurus @q-gorgeous

Even just simply amusing his friend by playing dress-up doll can’t go normally.

Danny stretches out his fingers a little, flexing them to get the slight cramping out. This stupid gash in literally the bottom of his foot was being a bitch to stitch up, and was surely going to be even more of a bitch to have to walk around on. And then, lucky him, his phone goes off.

“Danny? Goddamn finally, could kinda use your help…", and she trails off a little.

Danny sits up stiffly before realising that she doesn't exactly sound very urgent; and after all not even ‘I need your help’ call needed to be urgent, all his friendships would be pretty fucked if that was the case. Sagging a little and sticking the phone between his ear and shoulder, continuing to work on his stupid foot. He knows that by the time he gets to wherever she is, his foot will still be sore as fuck, but at least it won't be a giant, bone deep hole. "Where are you? What’s happening? It better not be goddamn Boxy”.

"That little shallow bitch and her groupies are here, I so don’t want to deal with this, so care to join me at the mall?".

She says it in a way that Danny honestly can't refuse in good consciousness. Sighing slightly as he finishes up the stitching, giving his foot a little pat, "…Fine."

"Oh thank fuck, get your ass down here already", and she hangs up on him, making him roll his eyes. Whelp, there's no backing out of this shit now.

Normally finding one lone person in a mall, even in a small town, would be a bitch to do but Sam was a goth. So massive crowd or no, why the fuck is there so many people?, he finds her at the food court very easily, her rocking her combat boots, purple Trenchcoat, grey/black plaid skirt, purple fishnets, and some underground punk band tee; at least this meant he wouldn’t have to spend potentially hours chasing her scent through a million stores or something…

Waltzing over to her with ease before gently tapping her on the shoulder, her eyes snapping up to him before a large grin stretches across her face. She jabs him with a finger, "finally! I got us food, salad lettuce wraps, don’t you dare complain".

Danny shrugs, snatching up his wrap, he’s down to eat and get off his currently throbbing foot; absently rubbing it slightly with a wince.

She glares at him, “you better not be injured, Danny”; she wanted a shopping buddy/popular girl shield, but not that badly.

“Skulker was being an ass again, but I’m fine”. That was a lie, on both counts. Danny stepped on a grenade with no clue where said grenade came from; and said foot was not actually fine but it would be in time.

Sam hums a bit disbelievingly but unwraps her food and chomps down, giving him a pointed look the entire time.

Danny coughs, biting into his own food, “so-”, swallowing a bite or two, “-what kind of shopping are you dragging me into here?”.

She swallows the last bite of her sandwich with a grin, standing up immediately, “Glad you asked. I was thinking about hitting the new higher-end alt store in hopes of finding these huge platform shoes that I saw online. And I can also get you a new wardrobe too”, and smirks meanly.

Ah. Once again, Danny’s the dress up toy. His body ready to be used and abused for whatever she wanted to do with it. Thankfully, he’s not that picky about his clothes and doesn’t really mind people dressing him up for fun; whether it's in a dress, a skirt, heels, a leather jacket or eyeliner. But his own fashion will always be one part lazy and one part durable/able to hide blood stains. So he shrugs, “I mean, I guess? I won’t consistently wear any of it, you know”. And then glares murderously in the distance at Paulina who had eyes Sam a little; little Miss Popular scampers off.

Sam rolls her eyes, “we’ll see about that one”, grabbing his wrist and dragging him off; barely giving him a chance to throw out the garbage… only, like, a third of the thrown garbage managed to actually make into the trash.

With in minutes Danny’s stuck sitting near a dressing room twiddling his fingers and vaguely playing with his phone; looks like ol’ Boxy had taken his daughter out to the playground, the pictures are legit adorable. There's a large pile of clothes sitting next to him, it was a little absurd honestly, some of it was frilly? He didn’t really do frilly, way too easy to get snagged on or by something.

Sam makes shooing motions at him towards the dressing rooms, “well, dummy. Try it”.

Danny rolls his eyes but obliges, making a damn point of trying on the most horrifically mismatched shit he could; it was also freakishly oversized. A particular sad banana dress shirt, green polka-dot cargo pants with an absolute ton of straps, a bright orange chest harness that is surprisingly thick, and a hot pink choker. As soon as he stepped out she chucked practically twelve shirts at him, “that is horrific! My poor eyes”.

Danny snickers and slips back into the dressing room, next he’s totally wearing one of the sweaters from the women's section that he could absolutely rock if it wasn't several sizes too small and if he hadn’t paired it with a silly pumpkin spice themed scarf and newsboy hat.

She actually assesses this one, “if that sweater came in bigger sizes…”.

Danny grins a little, “tell me about it”, flexing in a bit of a ridiculous pose, sweater absolutely ridding up over both his stomach and arms, “I mean really? This is not giving it”.

She nods with a cringe, pointing at him, “and if you ever wear a skinny scarf again, I’ll smack you”. Then getting up herself and going in.

… She comes out in a neon blue clear cyber skirt, one of those ones made out of plastic, paired with shiny red shorts, and a long sleeved paint splattered black sweater, “too bright?”.

Danny covers his eyes comically, “ah! I’m being blinded! The light! The LIGHT!”, and starts laughing when she smacks him a bunch. Him wheezing after a bit, “okay okay, I’m serious now”. She huffs at him, as he continues, “but really, if the light hits the shiny shorts right the clear skirt will reflect it back and you might actually blind a bitch”.

“So the shininess is the problem”.

Danny nods curtly. Danny did actually know his shit with clothing, his high dressers have stuffed him into a million things that he had to get used to wearing; when you get used to dressing like a mother fucking royal you also learn how to dress that way.

She nods right back before shoving another set of clothes into his hands, "I demand more, dance for me, my mannequin”.

Danny gives a slightly nervous, “okay”, but sticks his tongue out while he heads into the dressing room again. Honestly? dealing with dressing rooms and shit was half the reason why he just repeat bought the same shit over and over again. He obliterated his clothing so damn often, so he was always having to replace his clothing. Heck, just the sheer amount of shoes he went through? Fuck he went through a pair every month at minimum.

Some of the shit Sam had grabbed was shit he blatantly would never wear, like, ever; which she damn well definitely knew. A masculine crop top. A fishnet over top. Another fishnet top. A third fishnet top. Ancients. A shirt with a v-neck lined with spikes that was so low it wasn’t really a shirt… more like a unfinished jacket. The corset was a massive fuck no. Why did she even put an Emo version of a lion king themed varsity jacket in here? The shiny red pants would have been a maybe if they didn’t look like they’d take ten minutes just to get on. But there is some okay things. A nice maroon t-shirt with a tiny devil decal in the bottom left corner. A soft black vest over top with filigree detailing. Black trousers with a subtle houndstooth design and a nice leather belt. There was at least eleven different collars, most with either spikes or oversized crosses. The amount of times he got choked seriously put him off from having anything that tight around his neck; the thick dog chain wasn’t bad though. At least she didn’t hand him any Tripp pants, he’s rejected those things so many times, they were just way too hard to run in and the noise of the chains smacking around was annoying.

He’s picking that dog chain, the houndstooth pants, and a shirt that says ‘I eat babies in my spare time’. Strutting out and trying to exude ‘I own the world’ with every step, “this is mildly tolerable”.

Sam rolls her eyes at his antics, “oh I’ll take it”.

“Now are you going to let me get away with only getting one outfit?”.

She gives him a mean look, “absolutely not, suffer”, and chucks some more stuff at him.

Unfortunately, one of the things she threw definitely had a spike on it and said spike goes right into his eye with a wet swick. Danny just stands there, all the clothing falling to the ground except the vest that’s currently more or less attached to his eye socket. She goes wide-eyed and just stares at him, so he kind of just slowly grabs the vest and yanks out the spike. Holding the vest at arms length, “whelp, now I have to buy this”.

“It… it will look good on you”.

Danny smirks at that, “I always look good covered in my own blood”, and blinks the gored eye socket; this is probably the first time he’s ever messed up his clothing before he even bought it, goddamn. He hands it off to her and drags the rest of the stuff into the dressing room, shouting at her, “I’m just going to sit in here till I have an eye again!”.

Sam shakes her head with a slight apologetic wince before moving to clean off the vest she just bloodied with his face.

It doesn’t take too long for his eye to not be a mangled mess, and for it to be possible for him to pull the tattered sweater with the grim reader drinking a martini on over his head without smearing it with blood/ectoplasm. The fall themed harem pants are something that he absolutely will not ever wear though, he can just feel how easily they will get caught and snagged on things; he likes baggy pants but this was a little ridiculous. He’ll still let her see it though, meaning he walks back out, she immediately throws the spiked vest at him again… at least it doesn’t impale him anywhere again. And when he slips it on it does actually go pretty well with the sweater, Danny looking down, “I look like a beat up hippie”.

He can hear the cringe in Sam’s voice, “yeah harem pants are definitely meant for someone skinnier than you. Anyway, last things”.

Danny looks up at her and sighs, grabbing the last bit of clothing she’s holding out. He gets that she has money but this all feels kinda like a waste to him, “you know this is all gonna get destroyed right?”.

She huffs at him and makes shooing motions, “just ‘cause you put clothing through hell doesn’t mean you should dress like you crawled out of a dumpster”.

“Hey I like my dumpster-chic”. She glares, he goes back into the changing room.

It’s one of those black sweaters with a hole in the chest that is absolutely skin tight… Tucker would make comments about her trying to turn Danny into eye candy. The black pocket covered pants though? Are fucking Kevlar which might actually be super good for him. Honestly he was a bit more used to the stores she’d occasionally drag him to to try and goth/punk him up only having cheaper or basic grade clothing. The ghost necklace is pretty cute too, dainty and will be destroyed in a week at best, but cute. He adds on the leather belt from earlier and goes back out. Quirking an eyebrow at her and gesturing a bit ridiculously at the shit, “happy?”.

She snaps a photo immediately with a smirk, “very much so, yes”, pointing a finger down to the pants, “think those might survive a while?”.

“I’m honestly surprised you found Kevlar anything, worth a shot. So yes, definitely buying”.

She cheers a little and motions him over. Spreading some of the clothing out on the bench. “Okay so I know I’m getting these for sure”. From the looks of it she’s got a black sweater with a bunch of glitching teeth all over it, two more plaid skirts, a pair of tights that give the illusion of doll legs, a pack of black socks, the neon blue clear cyber skirt, a sweater with a bunch of stiff fabric cut outs of knives dangling off it, and a Lurking Class ‘trust no suits’ shirt. “And you’re definitely getting these, and the pants you’re wearing”. There’s the vest that stabbed him, the maroon shirt with the devil on it, the houndstooth trousers, leather belt, dog chain, dainty ghost necklace, the sad banana dress shirt (which yes, is because it will piss Vlad off the next time he drags Danny to a gala), and the ‘I eat babies in my spare time’ shirt. Sam nods at the spread and then smirks at Danny, “you’re getting that sweater too”.

Danny rolls his eyes, “absolutely not, I’m not this kind of whore”. She doesn’t drop the smirk and Danny finds out why when he goes back into the dressing room to get back into his normal clothing… she put fucking glue all over it and it was now stuck on him and he can’t actually change back into his actual clothing; he couldn’t even phase it off meaning it was ghost grade glue, because of fucking course. That mother fucker. “SAM!”. She starts laughing menacingly at him immediately before her arm snakes under the door and snags his jacket… meaning he can’t cover this up either. Goddamnit. At least the fucking pants come off.

As soon as he gets his actual pants on he’s out and basically chasing after Sam, who managed to not only pay but also leave the store in record time. Danny shouting, “I’M WITH THE GOTH!”, as he leaves himself.

“She already paid for what you’re wearing! Please don’t throw money at me!”.

Danny gives a thumbs up behind him as he goes, he is mildly annoyed he can’t just fly at her as he follows after her all the way back to the food court. Which then turns into a game of ‘hide around the tables’ with her running around and behind tables, bobbing and weaving, with him trying to snag her. She ducks under a table and pantses him… Danny just stops and blinks at her, pants around his ankles, “really?”. She smirks and books it; fleeing the food court.

And then Dash of all people turns away from the New York Fries stand and blinks at Sam running away, then at Danny, “what did she do to you?”, blinking again and walking over some, “and I knew you had muscle these days but damn”, and offers him the fries.

Danny flips him off, but does take a fry while staring after Sam a bit murderously.

“Are you going to pull your pants up, or…”.

Danny gives him a flat look, “are you going to do it for me?”. Dash immediately smacks him in the head, which turns into a mild slap flight; the fucking fries get destroyed and some wind up in both of their hair.

Sam’s just watching from a distance with her hands sticking out to the sides disbelievingly and a ‘you’ve got to be fucking kidding me’ look on her face. She facepalms when Vlad comes around a corner, stops dead in his tracks, at mutters, “Daniel, what the fuck”.

Which instantly resulted in both boys instantly stopping and turning to look at the mayor well know for only swearing with food stuff. Danny squeaks, “did you just swear?”.

Vlad blinks before going a little wide-eyed, turning on his heel and speed walking away. Danny sputtering, moving to go after the man, “oh no you don’t! You get back her-”, and his fucking ankle pants catches on a chair resulting in him flipping over the courtyard railing and flinging the chair with him which flies through the air and nearly brains someone. Danny gives up and lays on the ground; he’s pretty sure he ripped his pants even.

Sam walks back over and looks down at him, “how are you this stupid”.

“Hey! You’re the one who glued a shirt to me”.

Dash blinks, “she glued that on you?”. Sam glares at the jock murderously, so he takes a step back and grumbles, “I’m going to get more goddamn fries, you freaks are menaces”.

After a few seconds Danny speaks back up, “you are forgiven, Vlad said fuck”.

Sam goes wide-eyed and then digs in his pants pocket, doesn’t bother pulling them up for him though, and grins at the device; when she shows the screen to him he can’t help smiling too. Somehow, some way, he accidentally had the voice recorder on; he had audio proof of Vlad swearing like a proper mother fucker. He texts it to Vlad immediately.

Vlad sent back: 👁️👁️. Which was absolutely a death threat. Followed by ‘put your pants on, Daniel’, Danny takes them off fully and throws them in the trash, walking home in underwear, a glued on titty hole sweater, and fries in his hair. All with promises of Sam-focused revenge.

End

Prompts: Sam tried getting Danny into the ‘goth stuff’ she likes and What did she do with his body? and Well, shit. He can’t change back! and "Danny stopped at once, his mind pausing for a second. Did he... did he hear it well? Did Vlad just curse like... like a normal human being?" A.k.a. the one time Vlad had a legitimate reason to drop his sweet-related swears and surprisingly over a mundane situation.

#Danny Phantom #phandom #phic phight #phic phight 2023 #danny #sam #vlad #shopping #shopping mall #danny's a little shit #fan fic #phan phic #my writing #have a fic suck my dick #phantomphangphucker #gothmoth #dash

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