#the very last choice that the characters had the power to make. in the middle of all this horrible huge uncaring awfulness. was this just. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lains-reality · 9 months

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hi :) i hope you’re having a wonderful day

you’re literally the only blogger i trust when it comes to non-duality, and your advice has been the one i’ve been most easily able to apply/understand. I hope this doesn’t come off as a vent, but it probably will just because this question is so complicated and problem riddled, and tbh idek if you’re actually going to respond, but yea. it’s like star wars you’re my obi wan kenobi! my last hope lol

basically i’ve put my life on hold and procrastinated everything i’ve needed to do. (TW: death?? health problems/sa?) I went through a really bad year, last year. the human character i identify with (non-dualistic terms, bc ik this character isn’t me?) was sa’d in the beginning of the year. really traumatic. i dropped out of school, i couldn’t go out of the house because i feared for my life. i became super paranoid. i reported it and filed charges, but the justice system is fucked so.

anyways, after because the amount of stress i was experiencing, i became very ill. my biological father wished death on me, and i believed it at the time, because my sibling wished for me to get raped, and then it happened. i can see now, how my belief may or may not have been the cause of what happened. i then got cancer. the doctors couldn’t figure it out for months, and even ridiculed me- saying how i relied on google.

i finally went to a specialist who was immediately concerned, and then confirmed my suspicions. i was sort of friends with a blogger on here who got into the void and manifested their dream life. they went into the void for me and affirmed that i no longer had cancer, and that i could tap/wake up in the void. the next day, the huge lump/tumor on my neck was gone. all of my ailments- trouble breathing, patchy and rough skin ceased. i literally told my mother what happened which made her start believing in the power of “manifestation”.

because of the paranoia, and then cancer- i didn’t go to school my last 2 years of school. i switched to online, but never felt the need to complete my classes because i knew i would get into the void. i’ve gotten into the void, both by waking up/tapping into it but i haven’t been able to change my awareness, or “manifest” bc i was just mumbo jumbing words or poetry. i didn’t apply to university, because i thought i’d enter the void before then and revise my school grades + make it so i got into the university of my choice.

now, i have a week left before i have to finish my classes- which i have 7 of them, and so many assignments. i have to move out in the middle of august because i lied to my parents and said i got into university, because i thought i would’ve already changed things with the void by now. my life was fucked, then i fucked my life. after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now, yet i haven’t. i don’t know what i’m doing wrong, because i was able to show myself the truth of reality (as lester levinson said).

i am really stressing because now everything is falling down on itself. i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go, yet it’s so hard when teachers are bombarding me with messages how i have to finish the classes, or how i have to move out soon. i know this is probably ego driven, but i feel as if i can’t see a way through because of how attached i am to this. my health has also been abnormal, which makes me fear that the cancer has returned. what should i do?? im kinda freaking out.

anyways, i am so sorry if this came across trauma dumping/venting. i am just at a point where i do not even know where to begin to conceptualize this into understanding. this took a lot of courage to type, as im a bit afraid still- that people who hurt me from last year will see this (even though i know they won’t, but still). i totally understand if you wish not to post this or answer it, as it is very long and limiting. thank you though! i hope you have a wonderful week:)

this was quite difficult to answer as i've never been through so much turmoil all at once. i hope this answer helps and you'll continue taking care of yourself! (i'm sorry i linked way too much lol just don't read it all at once!)

firstly i want you to rest.

you've been through a lot and you've also been putting off a lot to get into the void. stopping life for manifestation is common it seems, its not healthy either. so much pressure is coming from time. you put all your expectations on a method, and i'm gonna guess that you also put so much onto your mind to get you into the void.

practically: your biological father sounds abusive and so does your sibling, i would be more careful around him. idk if your not around him anymore, it sounds like it? but you need to plan accordingly for your lie. are you gonna tell your parents or ?

theres a massive chance you'll just go crazy trying to figure out all these moving parts, so i suggest do what you can and leave the rest. do the minimum to keep you safe, then figure out the rest as it comes. do whatever you need to do, just remember to not take on too much at once.

ask for breaks on work at school for medical reasons, maybe think about jobs, etc. you see how much more could come into the picture? but this is all the body-mind can do. its easy to treat it as god, but its not god.

"but i feel as if i can’t see a way through"

You fail to do the works of God, because you take the body to be God. - Ada B. [4dbarbie]

take a look at these meditations:

butter meditation

peace meditation

surrender meditation

un-identification exercise

crying meditation

i'd like you pick one of these exercises:

feel all the shit. feel bad. just do it. let all the bad feelings out. put on sad music and fucking cry. cry it all out.

let yourself rest, with no problems. if a thought or feeling comes in just let it, because its not a problem remember? :) just put on some calming music or visualise a calming place. and let yourself have some time with nothing. no conditions. no perfection. no obligations. no 'have to' 'should' 'must'. let that go for this time

feel as if you've died. feel as if you've been completely forgiven, feel as if there was a powerful white light that washed you away of all the crap. really feel as if the divine came down, hugged you and said 'i love you and forgive you'. its all over. finally its all done. you can rest. (i suggest kickstarting this with imagery or music, its hard to generate feeling such grace on you own. i saw a jesus holding a baby lamb picture that made me burst out in tears and realised that all i wanted was just to be, no obligations. i imagined waking up in a heaven, in a gaint flowerfield. do what you want)

one time i did the 1st and 3rd exercises (i made it up on the spot) and it was worth it. the next few days felt much better. its like an exercise in rebirth. let yourself be reborn.

some days you'll just do one or all 3. pick what ever feels right in what ever order. but i suggest that 'feel as if you've died' or 'no problems' comes last! the whole point is to let the painful emotion pass through and settle in a neutral or grateful place.

"after discovering non-duality i gained hope that i would be able to turn things around by now"

here's the problem, you went into a philosophy intending to manifest. yes,, (1) you can do that (2) its okay, AS LONG AS YOU DONT MISS THE POINT. the point being that there is no person! the character is a character, not you. manifestation is just another concept, you can use it as long as you understand that its not real. thats why i shared the BOOKS, you need to READ.

"i try to forget my problems, and don’t give them life by letting go"

don't force yourself to forget (don't say you're not forcing it, otherwise you never would of wrote "TRY"). just let them be. deal with it when it comes up. the mind'll want to make a bazillion plans and stress. if you can make plans without spiriling, then do it. if you can't, don't. there will probably be some things you need to plan and thats okay. but everything else, leave it.

you haven't actually let it go, you're here in my inbox. you do not need to force letting it go. you naturally let it go by realising who you are in relation to it all. if you think you're the body-mind then its impossible to let go, because its your life and it involves you and if you let it go to shit, you might die!! - says the mind. but if you're Self, then this is not you. all those stories mean nothing compared to Infinity, Absolute Perfection and Love!

the Self is who you truly are. Self is still underneath it all, it is all. its imagining itself being a human. the character is the wave, YOU are the ocean. ultimately this is about realising all the identities, images and roles that "you've" taken on and used as reference are not you. how can a story be you? how can the past be you? are you the past? are you currently living in the past? you can be if you keep bringing it into the now.

when you stop using the past as a reference point, how much more posibilities come up now?

this is because the mind only knows what it knows. it cannot know anything more than what it knows right now. it can't access infinite intelligence. that's why it'll try to project into the future, and make plans. but it doesn't truly know. all it does is give suggestions based off the past. it is a combination of identity based off feelings, thoughts and memories that is collected and turned into a habit.

the past, memories, feelings, thoughts, identifies, roles etc all pass through you. they all come up like waves and then leave on THEIR OWN. if you hold onto these (which the character wants to do, it thinks thats all it is) it'll be painful when they are threatened in some way. a simple remark of "oh you look xxx" can be so painful for some characters because they based their whole life on a singular identity that WILL go.

Most of you can't change because you are so desperate TO change... but there is nothing to want to change. Things just are. Don't work with changing self, just realize who self actually is. [4dbarbie]

this is not a forcing thing, its just a rememberance. its done out of love, passion, a desire to just be free! with no ties to whatever identity! its takes courage, not convincing or denial.

Disbelieving you are Vanessa and denial are not the same thing. Denial is when you deny reality to something you're already giving reality to. Disbelieving was meant as an experiment, you never thought yourselves to be anything but this body, what will happen if you did? What are changes in your psyche, do you feel more confident, do you feel like you could take on the world? Don't you love Vanessa now that you know that she always was a choice? Even if she wasn't the greatest, what's so wrong with her? She is just somebody, she just lives a life. Things are only so serious when you're identified with her, you get scared, you get hurt, you feel stuck. But when you know that she can't hinder you? That she was never you? Don't you just want to laugh and hug her? [4dbarbie]

are you sure you're reading books and posts? a lot of this is already answered. your case is just more to deal with, but the point is still the same: you are not the body and mind, see what would happen if you questioned them.

just KEEP IT SIMPLE!

i'd like to leave you with this.

Once a young woman came to Hafiz and said, “What is the sign of someone knowing God?” And Hafiz became very quiet and stood in silence for nearly a minute. Lovingly looking deep into the young woman's eyes, he then softly spoke: “My dear, they have dropped the knife. The person who knows God has dropped the cruel knife so often used upon their tender self and others.” [source]

some extra resources

eft - health fear

eft - afraid to feel

we cannot practice letting go

heart of an emotion

i want to wake up with everything

hafiz - love's victory (PLEASE WATCH IT)

trust yourself

"You think you're doing it all for nothing, that's why you don't do it. But is freedom from pain really nothing? At least you are, for once in your life, sighing from relief from all this never-ending sense of doing."

health anon

apply

"All the process requires is letting go of thinking you are Vanessa."

behaviour

letting thoughts and emotions pass

challenge yourself

stories

everything brings you back to your Self

you've been through a lot and i'm glad you still are full of love! otherwise you never would've tried in the first place to change anything. use that love, take any anger and turn it into love for freedom! for Self! i know you can do it!!

also: the feeling of bad health coming back is a sign to me. you've put so much on hold: your healing from the sa, the healing from your family, the lying, LIFE in general. you can't keep doing that. turn inwards. the fear won't consume you.

#lainsmail

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cogentranting · 6 months

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Ranking Animated Horse Designs Take 3

This time I really am back by popular demand because the other two posts have been getting a steady trickle of notes for over a year now.

(If you're looking for stuff like Disney and Dreamworks there are two other posts. Here we've got mostly random cartoons and also the Pokemon horses)

Starlite (Rainbow Brite) 6/10 Little weird that he seems to be drawn in a style that's like 3x more realistic than any other character in this show but hey sometimes you just ascend to a higher plane of existence. (2014 Reboot Starlite gets a 3/10. I do not trust him.)

Skydancer (Rainbow Brite) 7/10 I bumped Starlite down a point because he wants what Skydancer has. Skydancer doesn't need rainbows to fly. Skydancer has a lightning bolt. Skydancer has the Drama. (The one wiki page said he's a Shire or a Clydesdale and um I don't think so. Maybe a Friesian.)

On-yx (Rainbow Brite) This is a rocket powered balloon animal. 2/10

Sunriser (Rainbow Brite) 5/10 Eh. I like her hair though.

Swift Wind (She-Ra and the Princesses of Power/ She-Ra Princess of Power)

Right (older version) 8/10 I don't understand the wing physics going on here. Also not sure if the horn is part of the mask or just attached to the mask. Diggin the bib though. Also love that he's a ginger.

Left (new version) 4/10 If the older version wasn't there this would score higher because just as a character design I don't think it's bad but if these are supposed to be the same character he seems so cutesy and I do not vibe with it. I don't know either show. So maybe that works. But it feels wrong.

Amalthea (The Last Unicorn) 9/10 They gave the unicorn the split deer hooves, and the lions tail and that is automatic points from me. Bummed they didn't go all out and give us the goat's beard. Rude. Any distance shot, I love. Close-ups of the face creep me out with the giant doll eyes and tiny nose.

(Pokemon and more below)

Honey Pie Pony (Strawberry Shortcake) 8/10 Adorable. Fantastically chunky design. The others from this... show? book? brand? are like 6s or 5s depending. But Honey Pie has the It factor. (The It Factor here apparently being that recurring pattern of only the main character's horse being able to talk?? This is the third. Swift Wind, Starlite and Honey Pie have dark secrets about how they come by this knowledge).

My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic "ponies" Just as characters they're cute in a "trying so hard to be cute that they almost miss the mark entirely" way. But this is about how they are as HORSE designs. And these are magical gremlins not horses. 1/10 (WHAT is happening on the far right of this set. I do not approve. Zebra is fine though).

My Little Pony: A New Generation Like if the MLP: FM ponies and the Trolls characters somehow had children. Somehow the main character of Bee Movie was also involved. The one on the left makes TikTok thirst traps. -2/10

My Little Pony Tales 3/10 I can almost tell they're meant to be horses. Plus that one has a tattoo of a comb. So. Full extra point for the comb tattoo.

Bratz Horses I can't tell if there's an official video game or cartoon design for these but in ANY given version I found the conclusion is the same: if you look into the gigantic distended eye you will be put under the horse's curse. 1/10

Boxer (Animal Farm) 4/10 All horses are equal but some are more equal than others, but Boxer is not one of them because his mouth is not okay.

Marvin (Marvin the Tap Dancing Horse) 5/10 I mean. Dude's got spats. Come on.

Ponyta (Pokemon) 3/5 The armpit and middle thigh flames were a choice.

Rapidash (Pokemon) 8/10 Look at his face. The angst. He has seen things.

Mudsdale (Pokemon) 8/10 The classic mohawk, dreadlocks and legwarmers trifecta. Love it. Would love to hug him.

Galarian Ponyta 3/10 It's giving sheep, and it's giving dog. Very little horse.

Galarian Rapidash (Pokemon) 4/10 He's angry because his hair is too long and he can't walk and also he has not eaten enough somebody feed this horse.

Origin Palkia (Pokemon) 6/10 A built-in hoola-hoop AND thigh high Boots?! what fashion.

Keldeo (Pokemon) 1/10 Clown goat.

Spectrier (Pokemon) 10/10 Beautiful goth girl horse floating around like a Victorian ghost who's too modest to show her ankles.

Mudbray (Pokemon) 5/10 He has passed through the depths of existential dread and returned world-weary but unshakeable and with a snazzy bowl cut.

Glastrier (Pokemon)

20/10 ICE HORSE ICE HORSE ICE HORSE. I love him so much. He's punk rock

The Fat Horse (Looney Tunes) 10/10 Queen.

#horse rating #horses #horse girl #pokemon #rainbow brite #mlp #my little pony #the last unicorn #she-ra #strawberry shortcake #long post #i put in a page break this time

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lightwise · 24 days

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Hidden Monsters

For some reason this has been a bear (dragon, Vrathean, pick your Star Wars creature) to write, but I realized after this last episode of TBB that there was more to the “monster of the week” trope that we all love to get tired of in Star Wars, and specifically for our beloved Batch members. I believe that some of the main “monsters” each member of the Batch has faced and could face represent inner turmoil and the storms/dark things within that each of them has had to wrestle with. The choices each of them have made to tame or calm or live with the creatures they have encountered, instead of automatically killing them or choosing violence against them, is a powerful metaphor. Something that looks like a monster on the outside may not necessarily be a monster on the inside, when cared for and acknowledged properly.

Echo and the Rishi Eel

Echo’s very first mission on Rishi station involved a giant monster, a droid army invasion, watching his superior officer die in front of him, and losing most of his squad along with the entire outpost he had been assigned to help defend. After the Rishi station is overrun by battle droids, Echo, Fives, Hevy, and Cutup escape through an air vent only to land in the middle of what turns out to be the Rishi eel’s nest. Echo is second to last in line and has to watch as Cutup is snatched up by the eel right behind him and swallowed whole. Echo is the only one to look back and commemorate Cutup with his name and a sigh before they have to keep moving. He does the same at the end of the episode when they lose Hevy, thanking him for his self sacrifice. Echo’s mind—strategic, careful, hesitant, wanting to do the right thing—is always on his brothers and their safety, and his own fears and questioning give way to courage and determination as he watches his brothers do what needs to be done.

This formative experience is literally emblazoned on Echo’s chest and becomes part of his identity when Rex shoots the eel in the eye, wipes some of its blood on his hand, and presses it against Echo’s armor as he encourages him to keep going. This combination of bravery, looking death in the eye, and holding compassion for each of his brothers as they fall continues to be a running theme throughout Echo’s character arc—from holding 99 in his arms as he dies, to hanging in the Techno Union chamber where his mind and body were used to hunt down the brothers he loved, to overcoming the changes and loss he’s experienced and finding a new family with the Batch and Omega, to coming full circle and joining Rex to help free his brothers from the Empire’s grip. He has had to watch as brother after brother is taken away from him, but he has learned how to keep going in the face of loss. These experiences bring out who he is—caring, loyal, brave, resolute, and a symbol of endurance—and trace back to the very first monster he had to face.

Hunter, Omega, and the Ordo Moon Dragon

In season 1 the Batch is newly on the run from Kamino after Order 66, finding Omega, and losing Crosshair. They crash onto an uninhabited planet and while trying to repair their ship, an Ordo Moon Dragon makes off with their capacitor, leaving them stranded. Like the Zillo beast seen in season 2, it feeds on energy but is actually peaceful when not provoked. Hunter wants to track it down, by himself, but Omega insists on accompanying him. While tracking the creature, Omega brings up Crosshair’s absence, and Hunter is unwilling to even say Crosshair’s name, and he is very uncomfortable with the conversation. He is unwilling and unable to face his demons right now, and instead is wallowing in self-blame. Hunter won’t be able to fully face his inner turmoil until Crosshair returns and they encounter the Wyrm on Barton IV, another dragon-like creature which also burrows underground (although it is much, much larger, and more harmful than the Ordo Moon Dragon, signifying how much Hunter’s avoidance and resentment grows over time as it is not dealt with). It’s also interesting that this episode cuts back and forth to Crosshair fully under the influence of the chip and wiping out Saw Gurerra’s insurgents in a very violent manner.

Hunter ends up being knocked out by the creature and Omega takes her flashlight and his blaster to complete the mission, going alone into the tunnels where the dragon lives. What Omega learns is that she doesn’t need the blaster to deal with the situation. As scary as it is, she doesn’t have to kill the dragon or use violence against it, as it’s simply hungry and looking for food. The terrifying creature becomes a thing of beauty, green electric shocks running over its rainbow colored body, illuminating the tunnel and Omega’s face as it feeds on the flashlight she throws to it in exchange for their capacitor. The visuals mimic the teal and green rippling over the Vrathean that Omega and Ventress encounter and have to calm down in season 3 (more on that further on).

However, this wasn’t Omega’s mission. It was Hunter’s, but she ends up completing it for him. Omega learns a valuable lesson here, which fits in with her natural tendencies of drawing both people and animals to her caring, compassionate nature instead of judging them based on appearance, but I’m not sure that this was her ultimate trial in facing her own inner demons. (See my thoughts on why this is important at the end of this essay in the Ventress section.) This also was a failed attempt for Hunter, and he would end up facing his trial again in The Return in season 3.

Wrecker and the Rancor (Muchi)

Wrecker was introduced as a character whose expertise is in explosives and making things blow up. He lives for making a ruckus and having a good time, but his strengths are engineered to be used for destruction.

Much of Wrecker’s character arc in season 1 is learning how to become more of an adult/parental figure for Omega, and how to put his own desires and needs aside in order to help take care of hers (letting her eat first, making a room for her in the gunners nest, watching out for her). In Rampage, the Batch is charged with rescuing a “child,” who they eventually find out is a young, ornery, and decidedly huge Rancor. Wrecker is the only one of them strong enough to sedate the creature after a lengthy bout of essentially hand to hand “combat.” They needed to bring Muchi back alive and Wrecker ends up gaining mutual affection and respect with her. Muchi is now calm and tamed enough that Omega can ride on her back with no fear or worry of danger.

Rancors adhere to a strict social and familial hierarchy, and have to challenge the alpha for authority. Wrecker starts out brash and boastful, and even though he is always caring, he becomes much more aware of his surroundings and his standing in their family unit as he grows in his responsibilities toward Omega. Rampage is shortly before his chip goes off, where he almost kills his entire squad. While his brute strength is an asset when used in the right ways, it is lethal if used for the wrong ones, and through his family bonds (especially with Omega) Wrecker is ultimately able to overcome the worst, chipped version of who he had been made to be, and instead be a source of safety and strength for Omega and his family.

Tech and the Zillo Beast

The Zillo beast is a marvel amongst Star Wars creatures. Its armor is impenetrable and highly valuable, and it feeds almost exclusively on energy, which allows it to become larger and morph into an even more powerful creature. When the Batch encounters it in season 2 in Metamorphasis, it tries to attack all of them, but Tech is the only one who is “fascinated” by the creature rather than scared of it. Similar to the Zillo beast feeding on energy, Tech’s mind was what he was known for, and he “fed” it by constantly consuming and integrating data about the world around him (which is transmitted by energy currents). During this episode Tech is confident in his own capabilities and extremely interested in learning more about the cloning technologies they were uncovering on this crashed ship. Tech’s research on the Zillo beast, while helpful, unfortunately comes too late and the Batch are unable to either put down or recapture the creature before it grows too strong for them to deal with. In the process, the Zillo beast escapes and is eventually recaptured by the Empire.

I’ve always been fascinated by the point in this episode where Tech is downloading the rest of the information from the terminal onto his data pad, and Hunter warns Omega that Imperials are inbound. She immediately tells Tech they need to go, and he refuses for a moment, saying he needs to finish capturing the data. If Omega did not pressure him to leave (and the electricity go out), he very well could have been standing there when ships bomb their location a few moments later, and gotten both himself and Omega killed for no good reason. At this moment his love of knowledge is overpowering his common sense and his love for his family, and it almost costs him everything.

Contrast this to a few moments later when he pulls Omega out of danger as they leave the ship, and Plan 99 when he chooses to sacrifice himself not for his own gain, but solely so his family has a chance to live. He had to face his greatest asset where it could also be his greatest failure, and learn how to prioritize and wield his strengths.

Crosshair and the Vulture

In The Outpost in season 2, Crosshair has spent almost two seasons engulfed in poor choices made both against his will (the chip), and of his own volition (staying with the Empire no matter what in pursuit of a sense of purpose and loyalty). His decisions are starting to grate on him and have led him down a dark path, but he hasn’t been fully ready to find a way to change them. When he lands on the icy planet of Barton IV, he encounters fearsome ice vultures shrieking overhead. He is told by the outpost’s commanding clone officer, Mayday, that the creatures are vicious, but admirable, because they find a way to survive.

Vultures signify both death and cleansing and are often feared and viewed with disgust, yet are an integral part of nature. Crosshair’s isolation and status as a clone soldier have put him in a precarious and often misjudged position, in ways he doesn’t even fully realize until this episode. His very life is in danger due to the Empire’s stance toward the clones, but so far Crosshair has believed that he is valuable to the Empire in ways that the regular clones are not. This attitude and perspective are severely challenged by Lieutenant Nolan, who speaks contemptuously both about and to every clone he encounters. Nolan’s lack of respect for them as soldiers, as officers, and even as people, is an extreme look at what Crosshair’s callousness and misplaced loyalty could lead him to if he is not careful. His fate is hanging in the balance.

After being sent on an inhumane mission to retrieve two crates of armor in a blinding snowstorm, Crosshair and Mayday are caught in an avalanche. After coming up out of the snow gasping for air, Crosshair could choose to get himself back to base and leave Mayday behind. Find a way to survive in the cold on his own, but kill the last of his compassion and personal values in the process. Instead, he chooses to put his life even more at risk to bring Mayday along with him.

Unfortunately for both of them, when they get back to base, Nolan has zero sympathy for their self-sacrifice, and allows Mayday to die unceremoniously on the platform from his wounds. Once again, a vulture is circling overhead, waiting to partake of its next meal. It signifies the threat of death but also Crosshair’s struggle and desire to survive. Crosshair is now staring his own lack of value and expendability in the face, and where he finds himself is now fully intolerable. He cannot continue on the way he has been without the very essence of who he is breaking irreparably in the process. Does he reclaim who he is, a compassionate and forceful individual who protects those he cares about? Or does he fall in line with what the Empire wants from him, knowing he will be discarded regardless?

Crosshair integrates his lesson in a visceral manner, his own personal traits mimicking the very essence of the ice vulture as he finally reorients his moral compass, takes a stand for himself and for his clone brothers, and takes vengeance on Lieutenant Nolan. His caution and inner turmoil are channeled into one desperate act as he becomes an agent/angel of death, the framing of the scene creating vulture-like wings spread on either side of him. He doesn’t expect to survive this encounter, choosing a path that looks like death on the outside but is cleansing and redeeming for him on the inside. He can now face the future as his whole, integrated self.

Hunter, Crosshair, the Vulture, and the Wyrm

The vulture and its meaning for Crosshair, as well as Hunter’s cut-short encounter with the Ordo Moon Dragon, both have their bookends in season 3’s episode The Return. Crosshair has seen immense character growth after his choices in The Outpost, and has not only redeemed himself but has been given the chance to start reconciling with everyone he has hurt. This episode has two creatures that serve two important purposes: the vulture returns as a metaphor for Crosshair’s need to reconcile with and forgive himself, and a new creature, a giant wyrm (nice Dune reference there, Star Wars) highlights the fractured rift between him and Hunter, and the anger, distrust, and resentment that Hunter has been running from since Aftermath.

The Batch has returned to Barton IV, and Crosshair is greeted by the ice vulture as they land. The weather is calm and clear this time, and the creature is observing him but not in a threatening way. At the same time, tensions rise to a breaking point between Hunter and Crosshair and a long-awaited argument starts between them. Before it can be resolved, the wyrm erupts out of the ground and puts all of their lives in danger. It had been kept at bay previously by high-pitched noises, (oddly similar to Hunter’s enhanced senses, which he has been so distracted from that he wasn’t aware of the danger ahead of time) and lived underneath the same snow that had buried Crosshair and Mayday.

In their efforts to draw the creature away from the outpost so they can turn the sensors back on, Hunter falls through the snow into the wyrm’s tunnels. Crosshair has already had his inner journey underneath the snow on Barton IV. This time, Hunter has to finally face his own struggles. Every step of the way he has been running and hiding, trying to keep his family and Omega safe by keeping them away from the Empire, away from Crosshair, away from danger, but failing miserably. This time, Hunter could simply let Crosshair haul him back up to the surface when he reaches the spot where Crosshair and Batcher have dug a hole in the ice to pull him out. But he hasn’t confirmed that the wyrm is actually past the boundary and that it is safe to turn the perimeter sensors back on. This time, Hunter stays below the surface, and keeps himself in harms way until he is absolutely sure that his family is safe and that his own emotions have been worked through. He is starting to take responsibility for his journey. His senses start to kick in again and he refuses to leave the tunnel until the wyrm is barreling down his neck, and then he finally accepts Crosshair’s help. Both of them run to safety, the perimeter beacons turn on, and the wyrm is now on the other side of an invisible barrier of sound, harmless and chastened until it finally slinks away.

The boys exchange glances and nods. Their rift has been bridged and they are both willing to move forward, together. This is proven by the end of the episode, where Crosshair, who has remained closed off and unwilling to discuss what he’s been through, opens up slightly to Hunter before they leave, and Hunter responds with forgiveness, acknowledgement, and hope for the future. And for now, it’s enough. Crosshair looks into the sky and watches the ice vulture flying overhead once again. Except this time, it flies off into the sunset, signifying that his lessons from this planet have been fully learned, that the spirit of survival in the face of death that he has been carrying with him can now be put towards living and thriving again. Both Hunter and Crosshair are leaving slightly more whole than when they first arrived, both as individuals and in their restored relationship with each other.

Ventress, Omega, and the Vrathean

Omega gets a second chance at taming a terrifying creature in The Harbinger in season 3. After Asajj Ventress shows up on Pabu to help the Batch figure out the m-count conundrum that makes Omega’s blood so valuable to the Empire, (and after Omega has begged her to stay and test her capabilities), she and Omega go out onto the ocean to test Omega’s potential Force sensitivity. (Also after Ventress had to whoop the boys’ backsides to get them to slightly trust her, but we won’t go into that here).

Throughout this season, (and really for most of her life), Omega has…not been doing well. Her time on Tantiss, leaving the rest of the clones imprisoned there behind when she and Crosshair escaped, and the relentless pursuit of her by the Empire has truly traumatized her and made her single-mindedly want to know why she is always in danger and putting everyone else around her in danger as well. Her mental health has been spiraling a bit and her inner turmoil is starting to rival Crosshair’s in season 2. She knows that m-count is important and is also thrilled at Ventress mentioning the Jedi, while the rest of the Batch and Ventress herself are very somber about the prospect that Omega might have Force capabilities. However, in her desire to have answers, she ends up being very impatient and frustrated and doesn’t even show her typical level of optimism and concentration in working through Ventress’ tests for her. It’s almost like her goal (finding answers) is at odds with what her idea of finding those answers looks like.

After having tried and failed to “reach out” to the Force to summon anything, Omega pouts and sits back down in the boat, seemingly defeated. Ventress has asked her to try to connect to nature, probably because she has seen Omega’s connection to Batcher and assumes that might be more in line with whatever her gifting might be. Two of Omega’s main traits and strengths are her optimism in the face of defeat, and her compassion toward literally every living thing she encounters. She is always curious, generous, caring, and wanting to connect with others. Which makes it even more curious that she is so easily stumped and disconnected by this exercise. She challenges Ventress to prove why *she* is the best person to be teaching Omega this lesson, and Ventress sighs but gently and carefully shows her powers by calling up a school of glowing green fish from the water. “I’m not the one holding back,” she tells Omega.

After a peaceful moment, however, another creature, this time a giant and tentacled Vrathean, emerges from the water as well and starts hunting Ventress and Omega down. It’s unclear if Ventress actually called the creature up herself or not, but if she did it was not intentional. She helps rescue Omega from the creature’s clutches and then chooses to put herself in more danger by letting it grab her, and communing with it through the Force as it tries to eat her. The deadly creature becomes a thing of astonishing beauty as the color of the sea ripples over its body and its eyes soften and recognize Ventress as a sentient being.

This is where it gets interesting, because this peacefulness, calm, and compassion is not something we would have associated with prior versions of Ventress. Her experiences and growth throughout the Clone Wars, her associations with Ahsoka and Quinlan, and her choices have turned her into a much softer and stronger version of herself. This has now become her trial by allowing her to showcase just how much she has changed, and how much her own worldview has flipped.

This is an incredible example for Omega, but similar to how she took Hunter’s trial for him in Replacement, Ventress has now filled what was supposed to be hers. This begs the question, what is Omega actually holding back on? Is she really Force sensitive? Or is just her compassion and tenderness toward everyone around her overtaking her in unhealthy ways? She has always had a tendency to put herself in harms way in an attempt to make up for the complications her presence brings her brothers.

Omega will have to face these implied monsters at some point. I’m not actually certain that she will end up facing a creature like everyone else has—there’s the possibility that because she naturally has more affinity with creatures and beings that look monstrous but really aren’t, she may end up facing her inner demons in another manner. Will it be a person instead? Or a choice? Even, might I say, an identity crisis? It remains to be seen, but the fact that she must face it in order to overcome and integrate it is unquestionable.

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sixstepsaway · 6 months

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I don't get why people want to pretend Ed wasn't abusive. Why do people insist on making everything into binaries? Yes, Ed has been a victim of abuse. Yes, he has been abusive. Both things can be true. I love him because I think he's in interesting and I understand where his pain is coming from (even if I think S2 was a missed opportunity in terms of character development). But anyway, thank you for writing about this because maybe some folks genuinely don't recognize abusive trends.

I think it has a lot to do with the fandom culture of only being allowed to like "wholesome" ships.

Look at it this way: when season 1 was airing, Ed and Stede were, in fact, very wholesome. Sure, they had some moments of lesser wholesomeness, but overall they were pretty wholesome and sweet and gentle. They were sweet and finding love in middle age and it was adorable. They had a general stamp of fandom approval that they were, in fact, Wholesome And Good To Ship™.

If you look at other fandoms, you'll see a lot of times there's the Good And Acceptable Ship and then there's the Bad Ship (or ships) and the Bad Ship is always slapped with the "oh that's actually incest!" label when they've, idk, grown up together, or "oh it's abusive!" because one of them one time made a bad joke or something, or "power dynamics!" because one is 27 and one is 25 or one is short and the other is tall or whatever, and yeah sometimes the Bad Ship is actually toxic or whatever (which is not a reason to not ship and enjoy it!), but they're put in neat little boxes: Good and Bad.

And for a lot of people, those boxes keep them safe. Last year, someone who was an Izzy Hands fan got doxxed because...? They liked Izzy Hands and shipped him with... I don't know actually. Ed? Stede? It doesn't matter, all I know is they got doxxed.

The side of fandom that thinks you should only ship the Good Ship are toxic and downright dangerous. It's happened again and again in numerous fandoms and just keeps happening.

So when at the end of s1, Ed turned around and cut Izzy's toe off and fed it to him, I think a lot of people panicked because shit, now Ed was Bad too, and if he's Bad then you can't like him or relate to him or ship him with the Good guy of Stede, so what the fuck do you do?

Obvious answer: Blame Izzy. Izzy's already classed as Bad, so put all the responsibility on Izzy for Ed's darkness and then it's safe to ship Ed and Stede again and no one can call you an abuse apologist or whatever for liking them together.

(To be clear: Shipping says nothing about your real morality. This is very clear for many reasons, one of which is... spend thirty seconds watching fans of the Wholesome Ships dox people and abuse people online lol)

So they spent all this time saying Ed was just scared and lashing out, and now s2 has come along and Ed is... well, abusive, canonically.

And for most of us, that doesn't really matter. We can still enjoy Ed and Stede or Ed and Izzy, we can throw ourselves into fanworks and enjoy the show for the things we like, and we can critique the things we have issues with (my problem is not Ed being written as dark and twisty and having a villain arc, my problem is the show writing it badly, exploring it badly, and then handwaving it, because it's shitty writing) and still really enjoy the vibes we got from the show.

But for people who are scared because they spent all this time saying Izzy fans should kill themselves for liking an abuser, well... now they have a choice: either admit Ed is an abuser and admit that liking a character doesn't dictate your irl morality, nor does it say anything about you aside from what you enjoy in fiction, or excuse away his actions, insist he's just a lil meow meow and continue feeling safe in their little bubble.

In a lot of ways I can't blame people for wanting to duck and cover from it. I mean, look at the shit people get for liking characters who aren't perfect, or talking about the imperfections of characters, or just enjoying complex narratives!

But what genuinely concerns me isn't anything to do with the fiction really, it's when people look at Ed's behavior in 2x01 and 2x02 and go, "Nah he's fine," because oh, honey, no, you are making yourself so vulnerable to real life abuse. That is what worries me, which is why I answered that one ask saying Ed wasn't abusive, it felt important to point out why he is.

Anyway, that's what I think is happening here. I think people are just scared that if they admit their fave has multitudes and isn't a perfect character who never does any wrong, they'll get doxxed and abused and harassed online.

I get that.

#anonymous #ask

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disformer · 8 months

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What do you feel is more concerning for children with what is in the EarthSpark series; all of the clear terror and death, or having a they/them pronouned character?

Because the terror and death is seemingly entirely looked over but the ONE CHARACTER going by different pronouns is apparently nothing short of outrage.

Anon, I Am Nonbinary.

I’ll put a more thought out response under the cut

Earthspark drinking game take a sip every time an extremely young child has to emotionally support an adult or is put in life-threatening danger.

1. Steven Universe really ruined a generation of children’s media by making showrunners think they had to tackle issues like PTSD and trauma.

However, to give SU some credit, Steven was not 9 years old at the start of the show. It’s a really jarring choice that was probably made to capitalise on a more marketable demographic for TF and to keep the children’s play more lighthearted, but you get some really weird moments like (checks notes) a nine year old giving advice to an adult on how to handle trauma.

The issue with this is no nine year old should ever have to do this for an adult. They do not need to be wise beyond their years. They do not need to be a therapist for their caretakers. Grimlocks PTSD episode is one of the most egregious examples of this, where (not only is this depiction extremely one-note and weird) the narrative punishes Jawbreaker for not realising Grimlock is having a panic attack in the middle of their play.

As a framing device in a kids movie, what is a nine year old viewer supposed to take from this? The child brain is going to think ‘the adult lashed out and hurt Jawbreaker, it was his fault for being too rowdy.’ LIKE YOU WOULDNT SEE THIS IN PEPPA PIG.

And you do need to consider this when you’re writing children that young in your media, because kids are going to watch shows that have other kids the same age as them in it. There’s an almost instinctive camaraderie in seeing a fellow nine-year-old on TV when you’re at that age. So, the show is very likely going to be watched by 8-15 year olds which brings us to

2. JESUS CHRIST. THIS SHOW NEEDS TO CALM DOWN.

This show is way way way too interested in putting children in extreme danger. Constantly, towards the end of the series.

I’ll make a note first that it’s okay if kids shows have fun play-violence; kids like action. Children like low-stakes explosions. It’s not super serious and most TF media does this well, even if it’s tonally a bit more serious. This is not really an issue in a show like TFP or TFA which also had young kids.

Earthspark does not make its action low-stakes. Earthspark treats its violence extremely seriously; children cry, they scream, they get bruised, their parents wail when they see them in danger. Violence has a lasting impact, it has to because the show constantly wants to talk about trauma, so they can’t have video game rules. If they get hurt it has to impact them. Robbie and Mo are in consistent, life-threatening danger. They’re always being shot at or dropped off cliffs or almost killed and it always harrows them.

And kids can pick up on this. They’re going to realise that this is something that’s Serious, and Scary, and they’re going to be FREAKED out.

They’re also going to be freaked out when the children are fuckin. Tied into the bio-wall with tubes by Mandroid, or when Robbie has alien leukaemia and his parents are so so scared and has to rush him to the hospital and Mo is crying so much, or when their parents are seemingly killed and the kids are screaming and punching the ground and blaming themselves.

And that last part is important, because on several occasions the narrative reinforces this. The narrative. Of a children’s show. Says yes; Robbie and Mo have powers, and this makes them responsible for the well-being of the adults around them. Mo literally gets told this. By GOD. Before her parents proudly watch on without interfering as she fights in hand to hand combat with the villain (WHO IS, AS WE HAVE SEEN, FUCKING DERANGED AND WOULD LOVE TO KILL A TEENAGER JUST ONCE PLEASE PLEASE)

In conclusion, what this tells me is the showrunners are inexperienced. They didn’t consider what is appropriate for the subject matter of a children’s cartoon. They wanted to write about trauma, and war, and think kids are cute! And didn’t want their TF fanfiction to be narratively compromised by having to ‘dumb it down’ for kids.

The result is this is never a show I would ever put on for a 4th grade class in break time, at the risk of severely upsetting a lot of them. And it’s also a show I can’t enjoy as an adult, because it uses the language of a children’s cartoon to make nuanced topics more binarised and soppy.

#ask #earthspark #critical #like there’s also. more. abt why i don’t love it that much #but this is the part that struck me.#used to be a kindy teacher btw #ES critical

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spinji · 5 months

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Imma be honest, I have no idea where people are coming from sympathizing with All For One.

I get the simps, you guys are gonna twist things for your meow meow all you want. More power to you.

But the narrative wastes no time showing us that AFO's greed and desire to control is INSTINCTUAL. He stole nutrients from Yoichi in the womb, stole his mother's quirk, and (arguably) stole her life. This was long before he'd be developed enough to make a conscious choice.

"But AFO is the one telling us this so of course he might lie" No???? We don't have any characters that could relay this information to us so the narration is just neutral omniscient dialog to explain what's happening, referring to AFO in the third person. This isn't diagetic narration.

Do you honestly think AFO, losing his goddamn mind in the middle of a fight, would turn to Bakugou like "so my mother was a prostitute-". The last page is the only one explicitly from AFO's point of view and that has a very obvious change in perspective. So no, I don't think All For One is telling us the story of how he was almost eaten by rats. We can absolutely take this at face value.

There are more complicated implications about the world building in this chapter, like how the actually recorded first quirk was flashy but harmless to set up a nice and happy origin of meta abilities despite that not being true. It puts AFO in a tight position as well because well he grew up in a hellscape with no parents and learned how to survive on his own right? So it's okay that he killed all those anti-quirk people right?

What about Yoichi?

Yoichi grew up in identical conditions to AFO, just as starved, just as unloved, just as alone. But Yoichi also grew up kind. He had empathy and hope, not wanting innocent people to get hurt. You can't inherently blame their circumstances when AFO has been a dickhead since birth and yet his twin, in the same scenario, did not. The difference? AFO had power and a compulsive need to control.

Yoichi would not have felt the need to run away, willingly, with Kudou if this was meant to be AFO's tragedy. Tenko's family ran to him, Touya's family thought they lost him, AFO's ran away from him.

AFO is blinded by ego and an all consuming sense of control. He is very much meant to be the embodiment of these things, monolithic as a threat. And his pursuit after One for All has been both a power grab and a desire to have complete control over his brother again in the form of suppressing his vestige.

Remember how Himiko actively chose not to live by a villain name? Because she didn't see herself as a criminal?

This is All For One's origin story and we still only know his villain name.

Do you really think that's not intentional?

#mha #bnha #my hero academia #mha spoliers #mha manga spoilers #mha 407 #all for one #shigaraki yoichi #look I'm just ranting here if you want to sympathize with this patient zero for the abuse cycle that is this series' villains be my guest

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middle-earth-mythopoeia · 1 year

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I just read a post in the LOTR tag titled “You don’t hate Amazon you hate the Silmarillion,” and then it went on to say this:

Here’s my point though, almost every (valid) critique I see of this show [Rings of Power] isn’t a problem with decisions the creative team made, it’s an inherent problem in any adaptation of the Silmarillion (and associated works but I’m just going to refer to the Silmarillion for brevity’s sake). The Silmarillion, as full and detailed as it is, is a shit story.

First things first. If you say things like this, it’s you who hates the Silmarillion. That last sentence tells me everything I need to know. Frankly, that one line invalidates every other thing this person says, but I’m going to explain why they’re wrong anyway. I’m making my own post about it because I don’t want to give the original post more notes.

Other than calling the Silmarillion shit, the main point of the post seems to be that the Silmarillion is unadaptable, therefore it should be understood that the creative team behind ROP had to use some leeway in translating the story to screen. The post finishes by saying:

Basically my point is that before you go and say “well this is weird or I didn’t like this choice” think about what the creative team had to create to make an interesting show out of a story not designed to be told. Sometimes they didn’t make the perfect decision, but if you were tasked with adapting something unadaptable do you think you would do it perfectly?

It’s true that adapting the stories of the Silmarillion is a difficult task, especially when it comes to the Second Age, which is probably the least detailed part of the histories. It’s true that many characters and events are sketched out and that many details (not to mention dialogue) would need to be invented for any screen adaptation to work. It’s also true that no adaptation can satisfy everyone. But this in no way excuses the sloppy way in which ROP adapted the source material.

If the ROP creative team wanted to write a story that was solely focused on their original characters but set in Middle-earth during the Second Age, they could have done that. But when they brought in characters like Galadriel and Isildur and Sauron and totally changed the plot, that’s where they messed up—not to mention compressing the timeline.

I personally do not believe the Silmarillion is unadaptable. If you believe it is unadaptable, that’s fine, we can agree to disagree. But it’s very odd to argue that any bad decision the ROP creative team made is the fault of the source material.

No. It’s their fault for being bad writers. And for biting off more than they can chew. And for having the hubris to say they want to write “the novel Tolkien never wrote.”

if you were tasked with adapting something unadaptable do you think you would do it perfectly?

To tell you the truth, I think I’d do a hell of a lot better than ROP. And I would start by actually understanding the source material, which the ROP creative team did not do. But if I ultimately decided that the story of the Second Age was unfilmable... then I would simply not film it.

As a final point, I think you will find that people who love the Silmarillion do not consider it a “shit story.”

#seriously what the fuck #anti rings of power #my writing

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galedekarios · 2 months

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re: your last ask - did they really say that about Shadowheart? her and Gale are my favourite companions by far so reading your last ask really was like a one-two to the stomach 😭 it feels so often like they force Shadowheart to be palatable to gross, weird str8 men, and Gale to fall into the tropes carved out for him by people who are utterly incapable of reading even slightly into a character beyond 'har har funny magic man is divorced and cringe and dramatic lel'. an all-round big oof tbh

[in response to this ask]

yes, they did say that:

Then there's Shadowheart. It's interesting because several of my friends were like, "I don't like Shadowheart." I'm like, "Why?" "She's racist." And I'm like, "Well, it seems to me that she's a victim of religious trauma." And then sure enough, that's exactly how it ends up playing out ultimately, and of course she's the most popular romantic option as well. How has your outlook on her evolved over the course of this launch? SV: Originally the very idea was you met a bunch of party members that had absolutely no reason to trust you, but plenty of reasons to distrust you. And we went a little bit too strong on that, which is hard. Because we ended up with a party that everybody hated. So we dumbed her down a little bit... Her trauma and the closure of Shar has always been the main thing. She started out actually as a... Well, it changed a little bit. She started out as a Jason Bourne, that was her original pitch actually. And that evolved a little bit, but essentially she's a character that gets to make a very, very powerful choice when she meets Nightsong in the middle of Act 2, and that's a very big moment for her. So I felt that was pulled up quite well, actually.

[source]

this is, coincidentally, the same interview where they said that gale killing himself is the right ending actually. so. yeah.

#also:#'we ended up with a party that everybody hated' frustrates me so much i can't tell you because no #that's not true #you just listened to the wrong crowd #i often think abt the game we could have gotten if larian more integrity when it comes to their characters and stories #ch: shadowheart #vg: baldur's gate 3 #series: baldur's gate #text: asks #larian critical

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hugmekenobi · 5 months

Text

S2: The Bad Batch (16)

Chapter Sixteen: Plan 99

Gif by @dreamswithghosts

Hunter x femaleJedi!reader

Series Summary: Some time has passed since everything that happened at Kamino and you and the Batch are trying to figure out your place in the rapidly changing Imperial galaxy. And you're having to do all this whilst figuring out where your relationship with Hunter fits into it.

Chapter Summary: There was a mission gone wrong and then there's what happened during and after Eriadu.

Masterlist for S1

<Previous Chapter

Genre: Friends (idiots) to Lovers (we're in the lovers stage now)

Chapter Warnings: Canon-typical violence, swearing, MAJOR CHARACTER 'DEATH', HEAVY ANGST, my interpretation of thought processes, relatively detailed injury and torture descriptions, vomiting, slight hurt/comfort, brief kissing, Hemlock being a creep and just generally himself, I project my feelings again and reader makes a questionable choice but it needed to happen, no happy endings here

Word Count: 8.8K

Author's notes: If I have done my job right in any capacity, this'll be a rough one to get through. However, I promise I have a oneshot planned that'll fix some of what just happened and if S3 doesn't fix the rest, I will do it then!

You helped Hunter with opening the car doors and as you all saw the awful freefall that lay below you, you knew it was going to take a lot to get out of this situation in one piece.

“This… is not ideal.” Tech commented.

“At least we’re not hanging under the car.” Wrecker offered.

“This isn’t much better.” You said before you ducked as a round of blaster fire headed in your direction.

“Echo, get this car moving.” Hunter instructed as the rest of you fired back.

“The explosions must’ve knocked out the power to the rail line.” Echo theorised irritably.

You moved away from the edge of the doors back to the middle of the car. “What if I just take down their railcar? It wouldn’t take long.” You suggested.

Tech shook his head. “I do not think that would be wise. There would be no guarantee that the resulting impact of you destroying that line would not affect the terminal that we need to get moving. And we’d still be stuck here whilst the Empire can easily send more reinforcements and-”

“Okay, fine do it your way.” You interrupted as you went back to focusing your fire on the Imperials.

“I can try to reboot the system, but I will need to plug directly into one of the terminals on the track.” Tech said.

Hunter addressed the rest of you, “You four, give us cover, Tech up top with me.”

Tech and Hunter moved to the next level of the railcar and Hunter gave his brother a boost up to the roof so he could climb onto the track.

As Tech got underway, Hunter opened the other set of doors and opened fire, particularly on any soldiers that were aiming for Tech.

“I am plugged in. Stand by.” Tech said into his comm as he got to work.

You all were doing a decent enough job at holding them back. They had more numbers, but your squad was more skilled, so you were managing okay.

That feeling of things being under control did not last long as Hunter heard the familiar sounds of ships coming your way. “We’ve got three ships inbound.”

You muttered a series of expletives as you scanned the sky around you for them.

“Where? I can’t see them.” Omega asked fearfully.

“Tech, we need power!” You urged into you comm as you could hear them drawing closer with each passing second.

You all took up positions to open fire on them, but it did very little. The ships got a round of shots away and you had to fight to stay balanced as the car shook with the impact.

Tech stared at his datapad and finally the screen turned green. He tapped his comm, “Echo, now!”

Upon Tech’s word, Echo plugged back in, and the railcar finally came back online.

“Tech, get your ass back here.” You hurried as you saw the ships getting ready to make another pass.

Tech unplugged and got himself across to the main track and started running but he could hear the ships getting nearer.

Hunter concentrated his fire on the oncoming ships. He was able to clip one in the wing and it collided into another which he thought would be enough.

It wasn’t.

The third ship came speeding through and fired a series off shots that found their mark. You all stumbled inside the car as it violently shook and struggled against the onslaught of blaster fire.

The explosion flung Tech backwards, and he fell from the track onto the roof of the bottom half of the car. He tried to stand but the resulting shot had seen to it that the back of the railcar was tearing itself away from the track and as it titled backwards, he went with it. He managed to hook his grappling cable onto one of the grates, but he was stuck hanging over the abyss.

“Come on, Tech! Hurry!” Wrecker implored as he peered down the broken end of the railcar.

“I am climbing as fast as I can.” Tech replied with a grunt as he started to make his way up the cable, but the additional weight and well-placed rogue enemy blaster fire exacerbated the fragile state of the car and it lurched backwards, sending him further down the cable once more.

“Tech!” Omega cried as she saw him fall whilst Wrecker debated the best way to get down the sloped hallway.

“Why aren’t we moving?” Hunter asked Echo as he took refuge from the blaster fire.

“The car’s being ripped from the track.” Another harsh vibration sounded shook through it as he tried to get it moving.

“Wrecker, get him on board.” Hunter pressed, desperation seeping into his voice, before he opened fire on the soldiers again.

Wrecker made to step down, but the car dipped significantly.

“Don’t!” Tech yelled as he fell down even further. “Any shift in weight could send both of these cars over.”

You glanced behind you at Wrecker and Omega and made the call that the others could hold the troopers off. You needed to help Tech now. Channelling the Force, you focused on the point where the two hinges met but it was already fragile, and it would take a lot of energy and focus to keep them together since they were wanting to do anything but and the circumstances were hardly ideal to have that focus but you had to make it work. You could hear more ships coming but you ignored them, you didn’t care.

“You must sever the connection hinge. Now!” Tech instructed.

“Not until you’re up here.” Wrecker argued.

“Tech, I can hold them, just climb or let Wrecker-”

“You can’t keep them steady and wait for me to get up there with the time we have left.” Tech interrupted you as he saw the ships in the distance closing in again.

“She’s got it, Tech.” Wrecker said, doing his best to keep the distress out of his voice as he edged his way forward. As he did so, the cart swayed forward, and he glanced back at you.

“Go.” You said through gritted teeth as you focused on keeping both carts level, but each moment of blaster fire and Wrecker’s added weight were making it harder.

Tech fell a few more metres as the cart continued to pull itself away from the track. He looked around and he knew what he had to do. He needed you all to get away. He wasn’t wrong about this. You all would make it out. He just needed to take himself out of the equation. “There is no time.” He pulled out his blaster. “Plan 99.”

Your heart plummeted. Not that plan, any plan but that one.

Wrecker’s heart filled with dread.

Omega felt nothing but panic.

“Tech, please-” You broke off as you channelled more of your energy into keeping both carts stable, but another round of shots meant the car swung again. Your knees buckled and your hold faltered slightly.

“Don’t you do it, Tech.” Wrecker ordered as he tried to creep forward once more but the cart continued to protest against the strain.

Tech sighed before he accepted his next course of action. It was, in a way, a rather easy decision. Omega had once asked him if they were a family. His answer had been yes, and it was true. He just didn’t think he’d really said it enough, but he loved his family. And what do families do? They protect each other… and that’s exactly what he was going to do. “When have we ever followed orders?” With that, he fired a shot through the glass of the railcar that met its mark, and the connection hinge was severed.

Even if you could hold it, you were out of time. The ships would make their pass at any second and you couldn’t prevent your section of the railcar reconnecting or else none of you would make it out of this.

And you hated it. You fucking hated it, but you were left with no choice; you dropped your hands, released your hold and watched in agony as Tech fell.

“No!” Wrecker cried out as he helplessly watched his brother fade from view and there was nothing he could do nothing to stop it.

“Tech!” Omega yelled.

The railcar reconnected to the track and sped away from the troopers on the opposite side.

Hunter grabbed Omega’s wrist as she moved closer to the open end of the car. “Omega-”

“Go back! Go back!” She said desperately, reaching out as if she could still grab him.

You felt numb. You couldn’t move. Every other noise around you sounded fuzzy. The skulking darkness that had been circling you since Saw Gerrera showed up was asking for a way in. It took every fibre of control to not let it. Hunter’s voice dragged you back to the current moment.

“The car’s going too fast.” Hunter said urgently.

“The system’s fried. I can’t stop it.” Echo replied, desperately trying to plug back in to do something to stop the rapid descent as the back wall of the station grew dangerously close.

You knew your help wouldn’t be fast enough either, and you felt Hunter’s internal conflict as his helmeted gaze darted between you and Omega. It’s Omega first, every time.

Hunter lunged for her just as the cart collided and smashed through the wall of the terminal.

Everything was grey, and dull and bleak.

If it wasn’t for the bitter scent of smoke in the air, she wouldn’t have been sure that she’d even opened her eyes at first.

Debris from the wreckage surrounded her.

And she ached. Her entire body burned with the pain it took to stand.

Tech. She needed to find Tech. He couldn’t be far. She called his name but only managed a few paces before she collapsed once more.

She tried to fight it, but it hurt too much, and the encroaching darkness was too tempting.

As the pain overwhelmed her, she didn’t have the strength to turn it away.

You groaned as you came to and immediately felt woozy as you attempted to sit up. Your hood had already come loose from the collision, but you pushed your mask down to catch your breath and breathe through the soreness radiating through your body.

You brushed the dirt off your face but felt something wet leaving a trail down your cheek. You took off your glove and touched it to find your fingertips covered in blood. You carefully followed the path of blood to the source and winced as you touched the oozing deep cut by your temple. Fighting the dizziness, you looked around to see the others pushing themselves up but then your eyes caught sight of an unmoving figure and your blood ran cold.

You forced yourself to stand, ignoring the shooting pain that coursed through your ankle, and staggered over to Omega. You dropped to your knees next to her and felt for a pulse, which thankfully you found but it was weak. “Omega, come on honey, open your eyes for me.” You begged her as her body shivered beneath your touch. You felt the others come by your side. You hung your head in relief when you saw her eyes flicker open, but she couldn’t stay awake, and you knew she was in bad shape.

“We have to get her out of here.” Hunter said, doing his best to not let the panic he felt upon seeing her like this come through.

Wrecker picked her up. “I got you, kid.”

“Incoming! Get to the Marauder!” Echo shouted as Imperial reinforcements arrived.

You picked up Omega’s bow and provided Wrecker and Omega cover fire as you all retreated back to your ship.

“Head to Ord Mantell. AZ can help her. Hurry!” Hunter instructed Echo as he made his way to the cockpit.

You watched Wrecker gently place her down on your bunk whilst Echo got the ship in the air and into hyperspace.

“You’re bleeding.” Hunter stated, worry etched in his voice as he brushed some of your hair back and caught sight of the mix of fresh and dried blood on your skin.

“I’m fine.” You said groggily as the fading adrenaline meant you had to work harder to fight against the light-headedness you were experiencing. You then noticed the awkward way he clutched his forearm and at the fact standing up straight appeared to cause him some issues. “Are you okay?”

Hunter didn’t answer directly. “Are any of us?”

You glanced around you and felt the anguish in everybody that you knew also resided in your own heart. “No, no we’re not.”

You focused on watching Omega’s chest rise and fall as a way to keep you grounded and willed the journey to go quickly.

“Cid, AZ, we need your help!” You shouted as you limped into the parlour.

Cid took in all of your various injured states and nodded, too taken aback to offer anything else.

AZ dropped the cleaning supplies he was using and flew over to Wrecker. “Follow me.” He led the way to Cid’s room.

“It is best if you leave, and I can work on her without distraction.” AZ instructed.

Neither of them really wanted to, but they didn’t want their presence to be a problem, so they did as he said.

“Where’s Goggles?” Cid asked as Hunter and Wrecker came back into the main parlour.

And it was that question that snapped you all out of what ever fatigued state of denial you were in.

You half collapsed into one of the booths and blinked back the angry, grief-stricken tears that threatened to escape.

Wrecker released a shaky breath and just shook his head as he sat down on one of the bar stools.

And Echo- now that he knew Omega was getting the medical attention she needed- just left the room. For the first time in his life, he needed the solitude.

“We- we lost him.” Hunter just about managed to say as the loss overwhelmed him and he sat down next to you. He welcomed the loving hold you took of his hand as you rested it in your lap and rubbed circles on the back of it and was grateful for tender way you pulled his head to rest on your shoulder. He ignored the slight discomfort the position caused him.

“I’ll give you guys some time alone.” Cid said quietly as she made her way towards the exit.

You all were in too much pain and too emotionally exhausted to notice the comm she took with her.

You’d lost track of how long you’d all spent waiting for AZ to come back with news so when he finally entered the room, the room was ripe with nervous tension. She had to be okay. She just had to be.

“AZ?” You said uneasily.

“Omega’s injuries were severe, but I have stabilised her and she should recover. It is just a matter of time of waiting for her to wake up.”

You all let out a collective breath of relief.

“Thank you.” Hunter said gratefully.

AZ nodded. “Now, what injuries of yours can I assist with?”

“(Y/N) has an actively bleeding head injury and a wounded ankle and Wrecker’s neck is causing him problems. Leave me for last.” Hunter said.

You knew disputing the order wouldn’t be helpful to anyone right now, so you let AZ come over to you first.

After you all were taken care of, AZ went back to monitor Omega and give you guys some space.

“What are we going to do now?” Wrecker asked as AZ left.

Hunter sighed deeply. “We have nothing to go on. No location, no leads. Nothing. And with Tech-” He broke off with a cough before continuing, “With Tech gone and Omega being hurt like that…” He paused for a moment as he considered his next words, “I can’t put her through something like this again. I can’t put any of you through it again. We’re done. We’ll find somewhere to settle.”

“What about Pabu?” Wrecker offered quietly. “She likes it, and we were going to settle there anyway… right?”

Hunter looked to you and you nodded. “He gave us another chance. We should take it any way we can.” You said, clearing your throat as the pain of the loss threatened to overcome you.

“Alright.” Hunter said before he got to his feet. “I’m going to go wait until Omega wakes up.” He left the room.

“Wrecker, will you be okay for a moment?” You asked as you also stood.

Wrecker understood. “Go.”

You bowed your head in thanks and followed Hunter.

You paused by the doorway and studied the way he sat in the chair as he watched over Omega. His posture was tense, and his leg bounced anxiously. You knew he was barely keeping it together, but he was making himself because he was still the leader and had to be. But you wanted to give him a chance to let himself drop the appearance, if only for a moment.

“You don’t have to be strong right now. Not in front of me.” You walked around to the front of the seat and kneeled in front of him. You placed your hand on his cheek to turn his face towards you as he was keeping his eyes firmly on Omega. At your words, it looked like a weight just left his body and he let his head and shoulders hang lowly.

“That plan was never supposed to be used.” He uttered, his throat bobbing as the mask of composure started to drop.

Your heart ached as you felt the guilt and sorrow within him. You reached up and placed your arms around his neck and just held him close to you. I’m so sorry.

“I only got two of them.” Hunter mumbled into the crook of your neck as he met your embrace.

“Hmm?”

“The ships. There were three and I only got two of them. If I had just made sure, he wouldn’t have fallen from the track. The third got the shot away that killed him.”

You pulled away as you picked up on the way the typical rasp in his voice got lower and more uneven. You cupped his face in your hands and rubbed away the stray tears. “Hunter, you can’t do that to yourself.”

“I was supposed to look after us. By taking that mission, I put everyone in danger and look what happened.”

“You went because you knew it was the right thing to do. It gave us a last chance to get Crosshair back. What happened-” You took a second to draw a calming breath of your own. “What happened was cruel and unfair, but it wasn’t your fault. I know that guilt may never truly fade, I’ve been there, but you still have the rest of us. You still have me. Whenever you need a reminder that this was not your doing, I will be there, I promise.”

Hunter couldn’t help but search for any doubt or lies in your eyes and voice but found none. He pressed his lips into your palm and the sincerity and love in your tone served to remind him that he could do this. “We’ve lost two brothers.”

You brought your forehead to press against his and whispered understandingly, “I know.”

“I can’t lose anyone else.” He breathed against your lips, but he could feel himself starting to regain the composure he knew he was going to need for what was to come.

You placed a delicate kiss to his mouth. “You won’t.” You caressed your thumb along his cheek before you stood behind him with your hands on his shoulders as you both waited for Omega to come back around.

“Hunter? (Y/N)?” Omega winced with a groan as her eyes opened once more and saw you both standing by her bedside, the worry on your faces now becoming relief.

“Hiya, kid.” Hunter said warmly as he brushed some of her hair back and reached for her hand.

She let Hunter support her back as she tried to sit up and took in the various bandages that graced both of you and her own fading pain prompted the reminder that the mission had gone very wrong. “What happened?”

Before either of you could reply, AZ whirred into the room and Hunter delicately laid her back down.

“Hello, Omega. I am relieved you are awake.” He scanned her. “You each sustained multiple injuries. However, you all will make a full recovery with proper treatment and rest.”

His reassurance helped calm the anxiety you were feeling over her injuries. You tenderly hugged her as Hunter assisted in getting her upright.

“You’re- You’re okay.” Wrecker said with relief as he came into the room. He crouched in front of her. “Don’t scare us like that again.” He put an arm around her in a fond embrace.

You passed her some water. “How do you feel?”

Omega took it from you but didn’t drink it. “I don’t know. The last thing I remember, we were in the railcar when…” She released a horrified gasp as the images came flooding back. “Where’s Tech?”

“Omega, Tech didn’t make it.” Hunter said, his voiced laced with sadness at having to tell her this again. Part of him had hoped she’d remember so she wouldn’t have to go re-experience the hurt of the loss.

“We have to go back! What if he’s hurt? He- He need us. Tell him, Wrecker. We can’t just leave him!” But Wrecker only looked back at her with nothing but sorrow on his face.

“Omega…” Your voice cracked slightly as you attempted to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder.

Omega hit your hand away. “No! Tech’s not gone! He- He can’t be!” Tears fell down her face.

Her reaction nearly broke you all over again.

“I- I know, kid.” Hunter said quietly as he moved to sit beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

Reliving it all got too much for Wrecker. He wiped his eyes and backed out of the room.

You glanced over your shoulder as Wrecker left and you knew Hunter needed to talk to Omega about what the rest of you had discussed. “I’ll give you two a minute.” You said, your voice still thick with emotion.

“Why did Tech do that?” Omega said tearfully after you and Wrecker had left. She wiped her eyes. “He didn’t let us save him.”

“He knew we were out of time.” Hunter explained as simply as he could. “Tech put the squad ahead of himself. He made a sacrifice, Omega, and we’re not gonna waste it.”

“What does that mean?”

“The galaxy has changed, and so have we. It’s time to put being soldiers behind us for good. The three of us think Pabu could be a good place to make a new life for ourselves. And the rest of it, well, we can figure out along the way. Omega, is that something you want?”

She thought it through for a moment before she nodded.

“Then that’s what we’ll do.” Hunter said. This would work. You all could heal together and make it out okay. It would get better.

You pulled yourself onto the bar stool next to the one Wrecker was sitting on. “What can I do?” You asked caringly. You knew there was nothing you could say that would immediately ease the pain of grief, but if there was anything you could do to help, you would.

“Just being here is fine.” Wrecker mumbled roughly as he kept his emotions at bay.

You rested your hand on top of his- an act he gently mirrored with his own before he removed his hand. You know I love you, right? It was a sentiment you realised you had not shared enough with the others and you didn’t want that to continue anymore.

Wrecker breathed deeply. “I love you too… and it’s not just because you’re with Hunter. You became a part of this family long before that.”

The genuine and heartfelt way he said that touched you deeply. You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat. “It’s a pretty good family to have.”

“Tech would’ve been able to tell you the exact date, I’m sure he kept a record of it.” Wrecker said with a sad chuckle.

You managed a half smile at his words. “That would be in character for him.”

A natural quiet descended on the two of you.

“Did we miss something? Did we miss a way to save him?” Wrecker asked into the silence.

The question was one you had been torturing yourself with ever since the ship had left Eriadu. “What we needed was time, and- and Tech knew we were out of it by that point.”

“Yeah.” Wrecker released a dejected sigh. “He always was the smart one.”

“Here. These are on the house.” Cid gifted you both a drink.

“It won’t help.” Wrecker said as he nudged it out the way.

You did the same.

“I’m sorry about Goggles. I always liked him.” Cid said sympathetically.

“Yeah. Us too.” Wrecker said with a crestfallen sigh.

Despite her words, you, and Wrecker both noticed the way she kept avoiding eye contact with both of you.

“What’s with you?” Wrecker asked.

Cid gulped, “You know, I tried to look out for you guys. But you got too much heat on you. And you brought it here to my place of business. I had to make the best of a bad situation.”

You picked up on her awkwardness and agitation. “Cid, what did you do?” You asked as a hollow pit of dread sat heavy in your stomach.

“I’m sorry.” That was all she said before she looked to the door.

You and Wrecker followed her stare, and a squadron of Imperial troopers came marching through the door with their blasters drawn.

You both instinctively reached for your blasters, but both of yours had been lost in the crash.

Wrecker was unaffected by the first stun blast that contacted him, and he charged at the group, but his neck brace severely limited his mobility.

You dodged the stun shot that was sent your way and realised keeping up a pretence would be pointless now. You threw your vibroblade into the shoulder of the closest threat to you before you Force-pushed multiple troopers against the back wall and used your ally to snap the wrists of others that aimed for you.

“Stop!”

You turned in the direction of the voice to see Wrecker half-conscious, kneeling on the floor with his wrists bound and a trooper holding a blaster to his head whilst the squad regrouped and pointed their weapons at you.

Your jaw tightened but you did as he ordered and let them take you. A kick to the backs of your knees brought you down. They took your comm off you and, judging by the way the cuffs he put on you were slightly different to Wrecker’s, they’d come prepared. You weren’t going to have an easy way out.

“She was right, Sir. This is the Jedi.” One of the troopers that was holding you down by the top of your shoulder said to Doctor Hemlock as he came through the crowd to stand at the front.

You glanced up at the man you now recognised as Doctor Hemlock who was staring down at you.

“Wonderful.”

He’d acted quickly when he knew the Empire was here and he’d kept Omega safe. That’s what mattered first. She was in the mining tunnels and on her way to Echo. The Empire wouldn’t find her. He could now focus on getting you and Wrecker back.

Hunter rounded the corner to the main parlour with his blaster drawn but his heart stopped at the sight. Both you and Wrecker were cuffed and being held at gunpoint by Imperials and Hemlock was right in the middle. He advanced forward a few paces, but the troopers focused their blasters on him.

“That’s not very strategic, Hunter.” Hemlock cautioned. “You don’t need to use your enhanced senses to know you’re outnumbered.” He turned his attention to the owner of the parlour. “The Empire thanks you for your assistance. Our business is done. Leave.”

“You piece of shit.” You hissed as you fought against the grip the troopers had on you as you watched her take the case of credits and walk out the door.

“Please consider your next move very carefully. I would hate for this to end poorly for all of you.” Hemlock advised. He paused and studied your handiwork on the wounded that were now being evacuated from the building. “Such an exquisite creature.” He brushed the fingers of his ungloved hand across your cheek. “You chose well.” He complimented the Sergeant.

You recoiled from his touch.

“Don’t fucking touch her.” Hunter snarled.

Hemlock ignored the clone for now and kept his attention on you. He lifted your cuffs by the middle. “How can someone so powerful be limited so easily?” He dropped your wrists. “Please. Do me the honour of just trying to use it.”

You stared him down in refusal.

“Or both of them will be killed.” Hemlock said simply.

You gritted your teeth and hoped the message behind your eyes as you looked to Hunter was clear- he had to keep it together.

Hunter didn’t understand what was about to happen. You were telling him to stay calm and remain where he was, but he didn’t fully know why. What was Hemlock talking about?

You braced yourself as you did as Hemlock said. You were met with the expected electric current that shot through your system. You didn’t cry out despite the pain; you didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, but you couldn’t help but fall forward on all fours. You had to take a few deep breaths before kneeling upright once more. The binds themselves had also grown tighter.

“Incredible.” Hemlock mused. “Years spent studying your people and the Force and we have barely scratched the surface of understanding you, yet science still finds ways to prove itself. Go again.”

“No!” Hunter protested. Watching you do that once was bad enough and you were hiding it well, but he knew you were in pain, and he couldn’t let it continue. Instinct took over and he moved a half step closer to you, but the line of blasters stopped him from advancing.

“How touching.” Hemlock mocked, internally thrilled that the reaction from both of you had been as he predicted. It made the process far more enjoyable. “But if you value your fellow clone’s life, you will not stop this.”

“I can- I can handle it.” You said breathlessly as a way reassure Hunter and stop him from doing anything reckless- you knew this torture was as much for him as it was for you, and you needed him alive. But you couldn’t prevent the pained grunt that left your mouth this time and you fell forward once more, and the cuffs pinched the skin of your wrists.

“Again.” Hemlock ordered you.

“Don’t.” Hunter pleaded, but he wasn’t talking to Hemlock, he was looking at you. This wasn’t something you should have to handle. There had to be another way. He should be the one to take that pain.

Whatever it required to keep them both alive. “It’s okay.” You said, your voice hoarse. You did it again and an audible cry fell from your lips.

Hemlock waited until you sat up. “Again.” He demanded.

You inhaled with a wince and did as he said.

The cycle continued until Hemlock said otherwise.

Hunter wanted to stop it. Despite your words, his resolve was weakening by the second. The only thing stopping him from doing something was that Wrecker’s life was also involved here but he couldn’t stand that all he could do was watch you go through this torment over and over again.

Wrecker struggled against his captors as he watched, but they were too many securing him.

“Stop.” Hunter finally growled at Hemlock after this last round saw to it that you were barely able to right yourself. He saw your arms give out from beneath you with the effort it took to remove yourself from the ground. And from the way you were trying to flex them, he guessed you were losing feeling in your fingers.

Hemlock smirked, “I am merely giving her a preview of what’s to come. I need to know what it’ll take to crush someone like her.”

He kneeled beside your crumpled body and spoke into your ear. “I will look forward to breaking you.” He kept eye-contact Hunter.

Hunter was clenching his jaw so hard that his teeth hurt. The thought sickened him.

You believed him. That quiet, menacing tone in his voice told you he truly meant what he was saying and… and that brought out a level of fear you’d never felt before. But you wouldn’t let that happen yet. Your arms trembled as you braced your palms against the floor and you panted through the throbbing discomfort in your body, but you managed to get back to a kneeling position. In a way, you were also grateful for the harsh but secure hold the troopers resumed since it meant you weren’t required to keep yourself stable.

“Such resolve.” Hemlock whispered to you. “And now onto the other matter at hand.” He said breezily as he stood upright once more and addressed Hunter. “Here’s how this is going to go. You will lower your blaster and hand over Omega. And I will allow you to keep breathing.”

“Omega’s not going anywhere with you.”

The fierce protectiveness of the clone brought out a soft snicker from Hemlock. “Oh. Well, who knew clones are so paternal? Fascinating.”

To hear that observation come from that man had bile rising in your throat.

“I was saddened to learn of your friend’s demise. What was his name? Oh, yes. Tech.” Hemlock taunted cruelly.

“Don’t fucking say his name.” You spat as you strained against your captors. An act Wrecker joined you on.

Hemlock merely reached his hand out to one of the soldiers and took the object. “I’m afraid this was all I could salvage. Consider it a gift.” He tossed the broken goggles across the room to Hunter’s feet.

Your strength was returning and at Hemlock’s actions, you attempted to lunge for him, but the troopers acted quickly and, with a strong grip on your shoulders, they forced you back to your knees.

Hemlock was unphased and stepped forward a few paces. “To lose one of your own, it must weigh heavily on you as their leader.” He signalled back to his men who pressed their blasters against the back of yours and Wreckers heads. “And if you don’t lower the blaster now, you will lose more.”

Hunter looked past Hemlock and you and Wrecker.

Wrecker did the best he could do to shake his head.

“Hunter, n-” The sharp tap of a blaster interrupted you.

He wasn’t losing any anyone else. And with Omega gone, the rest of you could find a way out.

You helplessly watched as Hunter put the blaster down and delicately picked up and studied Tech’s goggles.

“Wise decision.” Hemlock praised before he waved his men forward.

Hunter let them pass and allowed himself to be cuffed and brought over to join the two of you.

You and Wrecker were pulled to your feet, and you attempted to wriggle out of their grip, but they wouldn’t give.

“Sir, the girl’s not in the office.” The troopers informed Hemlock as they came back out.

You and Wrecker glanced at Hunter who subtly nodded at the two of you.

You and Wrecker shared a small breath of relief. As long as she was safe, you could manage whatever came next.

“She’s long gone. Like I said, Omega’s not going anywhere with you.” Hunter said to Hemlock.

Hemlock merely hummed. “We’ll see.”

The three of you were escorted out but what you couldn’t work out was why you were still being physically restrained whilst the other two got to walk normally.

Ord Mantell was in chaos.

People were screaming and clamouring to get out of the way of the Imperial soldiers and AT-AT walkers that were making their presence known.

A series of warning blaster fire halted you all from continuing. You turned in the direction of the fire and your stomach dropped as you saw who was on an upper platform staring down at the rest of you. No, she wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Lower your weapons.” Hemlock instructed his soldiers before he called over to the young girl, “Hello, Omega. We were just talking about you.”

Omega kept her bow activated. “Let them go!”

“Omega, run!” Hunter shouted before he got held back by one of the troopers.

“I won’t let them take you.”

“How about an exchange? If you come with me, your friends will live.” Hemlock negotiated.

“You fucking bastard.” You seethed as you pulled against the hands that were holding the upper part of your arms.

“I don’t believe you.” Omega replied suspiciously.

“I did not come here for them, Omega. I came to return you to Nala Se. She needs your help.”

“He’s lying. They killed the Kaminoans.” Hunter countered.

“Incorrect. Nala Se is alive and well care for.” Hemlock retorted before he returned his attention to the girl. “As you will be.”

“I’m not going with you.” Omega affirmed but she didn’t sense the clone trooper behind her.

“Omega, look out!” You shouted but it was too late.

All of you watched with devastation as Omega met the receiving end of a stun shot and her limp body got picked up by the trooper.

“Scour the city. When you find the third clone, send them back to Eriadu. Governor Tarkin wishes to question you personally.” Hemlock walked over to you. “But you…” He smiled coldly at you. “Your use lies elsewhere.”

Your heart shattered as you realised what that meant.

Hunter’s head turned sharply to look from Hemlock to you and the pained panic on your face mirrored his own. He reacted instantly and ran for you, but he didn’t make it far before the troopers separating the two of you got in the way and shoved him back. He continued to try and fight his way through, but the cuffs limited his effectiveness and a strong punch to his stomach winded him and he hunched over in discomfort. He took a few deep breaths and wriggled free of the two soldiers that had come to bring him back in and tried again but this time he was met with a kick to his already wounded torso.

You were shouting unintelligible sounds of protest as you writhed and struggled against the strong hands holding you back and attempting to drag you away. You managed to stamp on the foot on one of your captors and elbow one of the others in the stomach and their grip faltered.

But they regrouped quickly.

A swift hit of a blaster on your still wounded head had you blinking away black dots. You could do nothing to stop the severe grip one trooper took on the back of your neck, forcing you to hunch over whilst the others grabbed your arms and got ready to take you away.

“Let them.” Hemlock held a hand up to stop the actions of his soldiers. It would only help with his process. Let the two of you have the chance at a last moment together dictated by him and stopped by him. The emotional turmoil it would create would play beautifully.

Still half-dazed, when the troopers let you go, you were left with no choice but to fall to the ground.

Hunter shoved past the line of soldiers and knelt before you. As gently as he could manage, he placed his hands under your chin to push your head up. “I love you.” Hunter choked out.

Hemlock signalled his men.

You wanted to say so much more but you didn’t have the time. “I love you too.” You replied, your voice cracking. Your lips met for the briefest of moments but that was all you managed before you got hauled to your feet and they yanked you away from him.

As he watched your fading figure, Hunter didn’t have the strength to fight the troopers that lifted him to his feet and led him and Wrecker in the opposite direction.

The only thing that was keeping you from giving into the pounding agony that was bouncing around your skull was that Omega was now being carried alongside you. You would hang on for her.

“What are we doing?” One of the remaining troopers asked as he saw the group split off.

“Doctor Hemlock wants her getting a separate shuttle in case the others get away and come looking for them.” The clone in charge of the group answered.

“Please.” You begged with a broken breath as you saw the group separate and Hemlock disappeared down the street with Omega. “Just let me go with her. I won’t-” The butt of a blaster meeting your cheekbone shut you up and you groaned with the stinging pain it left you. Your vision kept blurring in and out of focus.

“Quiet! Keep walking!” The trooper ordered you.

You had so little resolve left. Hopelessness had overwhelmed you, so you followed their orders, your feet dragging as they led you in the direction of wherever the other shuttle was.

Hunter could feel the fight leaving him as he and Wrecker were escorted to the shuttle that would take them to Eriadu. So much of what he cared about had been ripped from him and now the remaining people in his life that he loved would pay the price for his failure. The echoes of explosions and blaster fire grabbed his attention, and he looked up to see a walker come stomping round the corner but it’s aim was directed towards the Imperials.

“Echo?” Wrecker asked.

“Gotta be Echo.” Hunter agreed as he dug deep for the energy to fight back.

Wrecker broke his cuffs open on the top of his knee and Hunter landed a kick to the trooper behind him to give Wrecker time to undo his cuffs.

The two of them worked on taking care of the remaining troopers and stole their blasters and fired on the clones that were aiming for Echo’s walker. What they couldn’t stop however, was the next walker that rounded the corner that fired on Echo’s.

Echo went to the hatch and jumped out of the walker just as it collapsed to the ground.

“Where are the other two?” Echo asked as he emerged from the downed walker with AZ and took cover with his brothers.

“That Imperial took them.” Wrecker answered.

“It was Hemlock. We’ve got to stop his ship from leaving.” Hunter said.

The three of them scanned for ways out but reinforcements were arriving from both sides. It was then though that Hunter noticed a platform that ran above the landing pad where Hemlock’s shuttle must be and the group of them made their way up to it, avoiding enemy fire as they did so.

Hunter ran ahead to the edge of the platform and could only watch with despair and agony as Hemlock’s shuttle took off. He paid no attention to the surrounding sounds of blaster fire; he couldn’t turn his gaze away from the departing ship.

Half his life was on that ship.

Hell, his heart was on that ship.

And he couldn’t stop it.

He couldn’t stop any of it.

And it broke something in him.

It killed him.

Echo’s voice dragged him back.

“Hunter, we have to go!”

Hunter managed to find his voice. “Get to the Marauder!” He ordered and the three of them started to run once more.

They made it to their ship and managed to take off but there was no relief in the feeling. The air was thick with grief and loss.

“There was no way to track Hemlock’s ship. He could’ve taken them anywhere.” Echo said forlornly from the cockpit.

Hunter glanced back to where Omega’s room was, then he saw Wrecker cradling Tech’s goggles. Then he found himself fiddling with the cord around his neck and his fingertips grazed the small symbol attached to it. He’d failed so many people. Everything he’d promised both to himself and to his squad had fallen apart so quickly before his eyes and he couldn’t do anything to stop it. Well, no more. He refused to let this be how things ended. “We are going to get them back.” He said darkly. “And we don’t stop searching until we do.”

The shuttle you were being taken to was on the other side of the city, but you had finally arrived.

The ramp lowered and you didn’t resist them as they nudged you towards it.

You walked a couple paces but then you spotted the smoke bomb thrown at your feet.

Fog engulfed you.

You were set free but all you registered were the panicked shouts and shots from blasters around you.

The Imperials didn’t last long, in rapid succession you heard the thud of each body that had brought you here.

Then everything went quiet.

A hand from behind grabbed your shoulder.

You reacted quickly and swerved out of the grip and whipped around to land a punch wherever you could reach. You heard the satisfying thump of your fists meeting bone and the figure backed away a few paces.

You readied yourself for the next attack, but it didn’t come.

“That’s a hell of a punch you’ve got. Would hate to see what you’re like when you don’t have cuffs on you.”

You recognised that voice and you pushed the faintness away and peered through the smoke at the figure approaching you, sniper rifle on her shoulder as she massaged her jaw. You relaxed your stance. “Lyra?”

“Hey, stranger.” She greeted you as she began picking the locks of your cuffs.

“What are you doing here?” You massaged your wrists as your binds came loose and you felt the Force start to flow through you again, but it felt… tainted. You searched in the Force around you for any sign of them, but there was nothing there. You really wished that meant they’d found a way out and escaped safely but everything felt disconnected. You weren’t yourself; something had shifted, and you weren’t sure if you would be able to right yourself anymore.

“Rescuing you, kinda thought that much was obvious. Where are the others?”

You felt your throat tighten as you searched for the words, but you couldn’t find them, and your stomach turned with both the aching in your head and your heart. You braced your hands on your knees and threw up.

The smoke had cleared, and Lyra was able to take you in properly. Your ankle was strapped, the skin on your cheek had broken and a purple bruise was starting to take shape and the stitches by your temple were starting to tear open as specks of blood escape the wound. It also wasn’t just your obvious injuries she saw- your body looked heavy with defeat. “What do you need?” She asked kindly.

“I need a ship.” You rasped as you wiped your mouth and stood up.

“You have one.” Lyra pointed to the shuttle right next to you.

“No. I wouldn’t get out of the system in that. They’d find me immediately.” You reached down and took a blaster from one of the unconscious bodies.

“So, you need something off the grid that would not pass any standardised mechanical check?”

“Add in an already scrambled signature and yeah pretty much.” You inhaled deeply as another wave of nausea hit you.

“I know someone who owes me a favour and makes a living from selling ships like that. Can’t promise we’ll get very far but it could work.” She paused as she saw the way you still swayed on your feet. “Are you sure you’re up for that? I can go myself and meet-”

“I’m not getting separated from anyone else.” You said sharply before you straightened your shoulders. “Lead the way.”

You waited as Lyra squared up deal and studied your way out of here. The ship did look like a hunk of scrap metal, but it would get you out unnoticed and that’s all that mattered.

“Okay, let’s go.” Lyra said as she came over to you.

You sighed, “Lyra, thank you. For all of this. But you can’t come with me.”

Lyra placed her hands on hips in defiance. “I have nothing here, they wrecked my stall and raided the other stores. I’m going with you. At the very least, you need someone to treat that serious concussion properly.”

Dealing with your injuries were way down on your priority list. You could feel it creeping in again and you weren’t sure you had the strength to oppose it anymore. “What I am… what I’m going to do, you shouldn’t be around for. I can’t-”

“Can’t be worse than what I’ve seen already. Come on, we gotta get going.” She said with finality as she walked past you and up the ramp to the ship.

On her head be it. You thought to yourself as you followed her up and she got the ship in the air.

Omega walked out the Imperial shuttle with a deep sense of unease. She recognised Mount Tantiss and the presence of Nala Se troubled her. She feared for what this doctor had planned for her.

“Have Emerie see to her injuries.” Hemlock ordered the assistant that came to greet them.

Omega didn’t follow the woman, she just looked to Nala Se. “Why did they bring me here?” She didn’t get to hear a reply for the trooper behind her prodded her back to make her go inside.

Hemlock addressed the Kaminoan after Omega was out of earshot. “Your prime minister mentioned you had an attachment to the young clone, so I’ve returned her to you. Perhaps now, you will reconsider working on the Emperor’s project.”

“What he seeks is not possible.” Nale Se argued.

“Make it possible. If you refuse or fail, Omega will suffer the consequences.” Hemlock threatened.

Satisfied that his threat had landed effectively, he waved the Kaminoan away and went to go inside but a clone voice stopped him.

“Sir, we’ve heard reports on an attack on the squad escorting the Jedi and the shuttle never checked in. It would seem she escaped.”

Hemlock had to hide his surprise. Clearly something had happened he had not anticipated. “That is… unfortunate, but we’ll make do… for now.”

Omega was led into a lab and what she saw horrified her. There were tubes and rows of unconscious clones strapped down onto testing tables. Then her eyes caught sight of someone she knew. “Crosshair!”

She ran over to him and tried to rouse him, “Crosshair? Crosshair?” He showed no signs of movement. She heard the sound of oncoming footsteps and turned to see the woman that must be ‘Emerie’ standing behind her.

“You must be Omega.” Emerie said.

“What did you do to Crosshair?” She asked angrily.

“He’s recovering. I tried to warn him what would happen if he did not cooperate with the doctor.”

“I want to talk to Nala Se.”

“Ironic. You trust the Kaminoan, but not me.”

“I don’t know you.”

“No?” Emerie kneeled in front of the young girl and removed her glasses. “You might know me better than you think.”

Omega furrowed her brow.

“We’re sisters, Omega.”

Lyra finished tending to your head and cheek before she went to the cockpit to give you some time.

As you stared down the corridor and out into the blue clouds of hyperspace, you gained a true moment of clarity. The galaxy and the Empire had taken much from you, but you’d always been able to push through.

In a strange way, you’d even thought you were better off because of where you’d ended up. You had gained a greater sense of purpose, you had room to properly care for the people in your life, you had a family.

But now they’d gone too far. Too much had been taken from you, your family, from the people you loved, and you weren’t going to let it happen anymore. You couldn’t let it happen anymore.

You weren’t as strong as you’d thought you were. Something gets cracked enough times enough times, it’s bound to break.

You were done hiding.

Your arms fell to your sides and your fists clenched and the darkness you had been running from since Eriadu came flooding back. Only this time, this time you weren’t going to fight against it.

This time.

This time, you embraced it.

Oneshot>

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