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lesbian-in-leather · 3 months

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Let's Talk About Alastor

Hazbin Hotel is rotting my brain so it's time for me to ramble about it to no one in particular!! Obviously this post will contain a whole multitude of spoilers, so please don't look under the cut unless you're fine with that/have seen the full season

As I mentioned in the tags of this post, I have SO MANY THOUGHTS about our beloved Radio Demon, especially in regards to the finale and how I think his plot could go next series, so buckle up folks, this'll be a long one

First off, let's talk about the way he fights. When he's fighting anyone, Alastor is big, and showy, and fucking deadly. We see it time and time again—he has fun when he fights, he enjoys the carnage and, most importantly, the terror he elicits from his foes. And that's why he was tasked with dealing with Adam—he's insanely powerful, and if anyone can take down the head of the exorcists, it would have to be Alastor (because obviously they didn't know Lucifer would show up to help, and Charlie hasn't fully come into her power yet, but that's another post). And he knows it! He knows he's powerful, he knows he's deadly, he knows everyone is shit-scared of him, and that's what he relies on.

And then the finale happens. He's in that final battle, and he's actually put to the test. And in terms of sheer power, for once in his afterlife he isn't the strongest in the room. He's actually outmatched, or at least on an even footing. And if he'd fought like everyone else, then maybe he would have succeeded—if he'd taken Carmilla's advice, I have no doubt that he would have won, or at least held Adam off for long enough that the others could have come and helped him. But he never stood a chance. Because he fights like an angel, and that's why he loses to one. Look at Carmilla's conversation with Vaggie:

"You leave yourself open with every swing; you fight like someone unafraid of harm" "Angels wield no shield, little armour, and fight with reckless abandon"

Remind you of anyone? Rewatch Alastor's fight with Adam—he's fighting just like he always does. He has multiple opportunities to take him out, but, like always, he chooses to play with his food. He's enjoying himself, he's riling Adam up, dancing around him, taunting him. Because at no point does he consider that he could lose this fight—he has no armour, no shield, he didn't even bring an angelic weapon! He just has his trusty radio mic (the source of his power? Perhaps... but that's a discussion for another post) that Adam breaks. And the genuine fear in his eyes, in his voice when that happens? He has no idea what to do. He never even considered this could happen. Everyone else is fighting for their lives, but he was treating this war like simple sport... until suddenly he couldn't.

And speaking of motivation, once again we can look to Carmilla's song to see why he loses when the other, objectively less powerful souls (Husk, Angel, Cherri, hell, even Nifty) succeeded. Yes, they weren't against Adam, but they were still fighting exorcists—you know, the same angels that have been decimating hell's population unchallenged for literal centuries. But they didn't die. Because they were fighting for what they truly believed in, because they had a real reason to not only fight, but to live. I saw it mentioned in this post earlier, and they make such a good point! Charlie's fighting for her dream and for her people; Vaggie's fighting for Charlie; Lucifer for his daughter; Angel, Husk, Pentious and Cherri are all fighting for their friends (something Charlie gave them, btw, but again, that's a different post). But what's Alastor fighting for? Power? Fun? To prove a goddamn point? I think he loses because even he doesn't really know why he's fighting. I mean, listen to Out For Love and tell me it doesn't apply to Alastor just as much as Vaggie:

"I see you're driven by your detestation Your every step is stoked with animus You need a different type of motivation Or there's no way that you can handle this I know you're thirstin' for vengeance, Vaggie You're out for blood But you'll only stand a chance if you're out for love"

Which would bring me onto where I think his plot will go in future seasons (should we get them), but first we need to clear a couple of things up and try to understand his character as best we can. Now here's the thing, I know a lot of people are divided on the topic of Alastor's feelings. Some people say he genuinely cares about the others, while some say he's just putting up a façade and playing the game, and that all of the supposed evidence of his feelings are actually manufactured manipulations. But I think both readings are true, and also, neither of them are.

Because I think Alastor does care about the others, to an extent. But I also think he refuses to acknowledge it, to recognise that part of himself, that he's buried those feelings so deep he doesn't even know that they can exist within him anymore. I think whoever holds his leash (Lilith? The seven year gap is a little too convenient to ignore, but at the same time, now that we know where she is, what's her motivation? Anyway, another post) pushed him towards the hotel for their own purposes, but I also don't think they're particularly checking up on him. I think his mission is to do with Charlie, but I also think he's grown genuinely attached to her over the months they've known each other. Why do I think this? I'm glad you asked!

First off, let's examine his reactions in various key moments throughout the series so far:

This first shot is the most annoyed we see him for the entirety of the song Should Have Stayed Gone, despite singing with one of his (many?) self-proclaimed rivals, Vox. Now yes, he does look moderately peeved, but I would argue that it's much less to do with Vox, and much more to do with the focus on television and his constant fear of irrelevancy (more on that later in this post). Then look at his expressions later—

Now he's enjoying himself, he has that ever-present shit-eating grin we all know and love. And, most crucially, no one else can see his expressions during this song. No one's looking at him in the first pic, and for the rest of the song he's in his radio booth, so it's safe to assume that his expressions are far less guarded than when he knows he's being observed. Why is that important? Well, let's take a look at another Alastor-heavy episode, shall we? That's right, no Alastor analysis would be complete without a delve into Dead Beat Dad, so here we go!

Right off the bat, we're shown his dislike of Lucifer. I know some people say it was all for show, but I disagree. Hear me out—Alastor's smart, no one's arguing otherwise, so why make an enemy of the literal devil just for sport? Now, let me be clear—I don't think he actually sees Charlie as a daughter-figure (at least, not consciously, and certainly not as strongly as he was making out). The thing is, he is good at reading people, and all it took was one look at Lucifer can't-wait-to-break-the-door-down Morningstar for him to realise that Charlie's affection was what mattered the most to him. However, his hatred of Lucifer was not all for show. So why did he hate him? The fact that he hadn't heard of him certainly won't have helped (again, Alastor definitely has a whole complex, we'll get to that), but his loathing started before Lucifer had even spoken to him. How do I know? Take a look at the moment when Lucifer has literally just opened the door

Look at that eye twitch. No one's looking at him. No one can see it. But the sheer, unbridled rage is so evident that he can't quite keep it from his face. And all Lucifer has done is hug his daughter. Now, assuming the two have never interacted before (Lucifer certainly doesn't seem to remember him, and Alastor doesn't act as though they've met) what reason does Alastor have to hate him? If Lilith is his master, perhaps it's on her behalf? But he doesn't seem particularly loyal to whoever holds his leash, far from it, so that leaves us with the two most logical options: either Lucifer is the one holding his leash (not impossible, but I wouldn't say it has much evidence thus far), or Alastor is genuinely opposed to him because of how he's treated Charlie. Because he does care about her, however little he'll admit it to himself.

Just to really hammer this point home, I'd like to show just some of the many other instances of Alastor being genuinely furious with Lucifer over the course of this episode—in fact, seeing as we've already talked about Should Have Stayed Gone, let's constrain ourselves to Hell's Greatest Dad for now, shall we?

All Lucifer has to do is laugh at the start of this song, and just look at Alastor's face! That's anger, or at the very least intense annoyance—with ever-smiling-Alastor, the proof is always in the eyebrows. Then we get this wonderful sequence of expressions while Lucifer begins insulting him:

Oh, and just in case you need a comparison, here's a shot of Lucifer insulting Alastor side-by-side with two different instance of Vox insulting Alastor. And some people still think Vox is his rival and he was just messing with Lucifer?

Now you may say, "Ah, but that's not a fair comparison! Alastor was clearly winning his argument with Vox, whereas he and Lucifer were on a much more even footing!" to which I would reply yes! Exactly! That's why Vox isn't anywhere close to being Alastor's rival, and also at least part of the reason Alastor cared so much when fighting with Lucifer. If winning against Lucifer was as easy as Vox, of course he'd pick that fight. But it wasn't. At the start of Hell's Greatest Dad, he's getting straight up humiliated (as those four waiter-esque pics demonstrate). And yet, he keeps fighting. Partially for pride, I'm sure, but some part of him absolutely cares about the argument he's making.

How do I know that? Well, you see, first of all we take a look at how Alastor acts when he first starts singing. As we all know, Alastor's power lies in his voice—his face was made for radio—and he's (almost) always so much more in control when he's talking, and always in control if his radio filter is in place. In fact, the stronger it is, the more he appears to be taking charge. So, when he first begins to fight back against Lucifer, he immediately puts that Cheshire-Cat-esque façade back into place, quite literally dancing around Lucifer as he does so:

And yet, his energy is so much higher than normal. He's leaping around, his usually calculated movements suddenly far more erratic and energetic than we've seen him. For example, in his first verse alone, he goes though all of this:

Not only is he using far more power, he's become so showy, his expressions are so much more unhinged than even he usually is, his pupils are near-constantly slitted, and, most importantly, take a look at his colour palette. Right at the very start it's still his classic red and black, but then—without Lucifer even interrupting—he gets so invested in convincing Charlie (and, by extension, proving himself better than Lucifer) that he switches to what I have dubbed his Powerful Palette. It only ever happens when he's demonstrating his full abilities; when he's angry at Husk, when he's fighting Adam, when he makes a new deal, and... now. Arguing with Lucifer over who's a better father to Charlie. And while usually it's in brief flashes before he returns to normal, here he stays consistently in his greens and pinks, for a good majority of the song. You don't think that means he really cares, even just a little bit?

And when Lucifer has the gall to interrupt him with his golden fiddle, and just look at Alastor then;

Look at his face, look at his posture. Alastor, notorious for waving his arms around in grand, swooping gestures, is standing there, gritting his fucking teeth, fists clenched, arms folded at what must be an uncomfortable angle. The only time he moves is to concede a tiny step so he can drop a fucking piano on the literal devil.

Now this bit is so interesting, because he, very briefly, seems to believe that he's won, or is at least winning. And even then, he doesn't relax, he doesn't return to his normal colour palette or even his normal expression. He's still furious, you can see it—with Vox, it was a game. This is personal, and then when Lucifer is actually not only fine but still fighting, now playing a new instrument, (literally playing the devil's chord) to deliberately ruin Alastor's melody? Oh that's pure rage.

This first expression is his immediate reaction to it and, perhaps even better, the other two are him trying to contain it. Because he knows he can be seen, but he physically can't look any more collected than that; he can't control his expressions during this song. If he could, he would, because it would irritate Lucifer all the more, and he's more than smart enough to realise that. But neither of them can control themselves here, because both of them really, genuinely, care.

Then he physically places himself in between Charlie and her father, not only pushing him out of the way, but then going so far as to physically drop him out of frame with a gesture reminiscent of a Roman Emperor as he reinstates his claim over Charlie—again, feeding into his need to be relevant and powerful (we're getting to that part, I promise). But isn't it interesting that this time, he didn't even use his power? He pushed Lucifer with his bare hands, not bothering with the intimidating shadows or powerplays, because for once it wasn't about that. For once he wasn't focusing on the person he was fighting, but on the person he was fighting for.

Now this exchange is so interesting. Because Alastor misses a really good opportunity to get Charlie on his side, and I think he misses it purely because he (almost certainly without realising it) gets actually, genuinely offended on behalf of his friends. Because when Lucifer calls the others losers, he's insulting Charlie's family. Knowingly and callously! Right in front of them! And if Alastor was in his right mind, he would have absolutely pointed it out with a fake gasp and a shit-eating grin. But look at the way he reacts to Lucifer's interruption—the narrowed eyes, the tensing of his shoulders, the flexed wrists and clenched hands. That's genuine anger; it's too immediate and out of character to be anything else. Because he didn't intentionally goad Lucifer into saying that. And instead of taking advantage of the opportunity, he responds by, very childishly, asking Lucifer to "butt out" of his song. Because they were Charlie's family first, and he may feign indifference, but he included himself among them for a goddamn reason, and how dare Lucifer insult them like that?

And again, compare how he's moving and standing to how he was in Should Have Stayed Gone. In this gif (and Hell's Greatest Dad as a whole, but let's focus on this bit right now) he's glaring, his shoulders are hunched—he tries for his usual nonchalance by pushing Lucifer out of frame with a swing of his hips, but then is immediately betrayed by his expression, and his reaction the second Lucifer comes back at him. Meanwhile, in Should Have Stayed Gone, this is how he acts while taunting Vox:

He's so much more relaxed, he's visibly having fun, and Vox is the one bending himself out of shape to try and get Alastor's attention win the argument. Another interesting parallel between him and Vox in these numbers is when Vox is clearly losing towards the end of his part in Should Have Stayed Gone, compared to Alastor's first verse in Hell's Greatest Dad.

I mean, these frames are just a little too similar, don't you think? Both of them desperately trying to grab the attention of the subject of the song, duplicating themselves and leaning over the borders to try and be noticed... oh Alastor.

And now, finally, we get onto the bit that I've been promising for this entire post: Alastor's inferiority complex. The thing is, I think I've worked him out (at least, to an extent). We've seen time and again that he hates the idea of being irrelevant—the fact he doesn't like any technology beyond radio (leading to the real reason for his annoyance in that very first picture I used, when he sees everyone gathered around Vox's screens); his reaction when Carmine said she had not in fact, been wondering where he was; his reaction when Lucifer says he's never heard of him; the way he rushes to "remind people why he's here" at the end of Dead Beat Dad, and the fact that when he first arrived he took out all of the overlords who dared to dismiss his power, just to name a few. His fatal flaw is clearly pride—he wants people to know him, he needs to be relevant or he doesn't know who he is.

And I think that's the real reason he hates Lucifer. Because, father-figure or not, the two of them do represent the same position in Charlie's life. But why would she need help from a human soul (albeit an insanely powerful one) when she has a literal angel around to do whatever she wants? Yes, Alastor is powerful, but if Lucifer is back in the picture... well, we all saw it in the finale. Alastor was quite literally fighting for his life, and barely escaped with it, while Lucifer was dancing circles around Adam, shapeshifting, taunting, joking, and all the while he was periodically rescuing Charlie too. His attention wasn't even entirely focused on the battle, and he wasn't even really trying to hurt Adam until the end when shit got personal.

And I also think that's why Alastor got so scared. Because he almost died. As I said right at the start, he fought like an angel. He didn't even consider getting hurt as an option. And now he's having a crisi of mortality, and being powerful and scared is a dangerous combination. So where will his story go from here?

Well, from the fact that he's still at the hotel, I think that's evidence enough that he's being forced to stay with Charlie—despite all the very real evidence we have that he does genuinely care about her (I mean, they way he talks about shaping her to Rosie? The gentle looks, the fact he loaned her his mic? Don't forget how he looked when that got broken, it's clearly so important to him, and he gave it to her twice. Not to mention the whole 'wanting to be relevant in her life' thing that I've been going on about for like, half of this post. Remember what Rosie said about words being easy, but actions are hard? Yeah, he says he doesn't care, but... anyway). So, he's being forced to stay while he looks for an out in his contract with someone. But where does that leave him in the wider story? Well, I do think he'll eventually turn on Charlie and the rest of the gang, but I also think that it'll be temporary. Assuming the crew gets as many seasons as they want to tell the full story (never a guarantee, but here's to hoping) then I think he'll probably stay for a while next season but work against them behind the scenes, then make an open move against them, then be gone for a while, then start his long and arduous journey back into everyone's good graces.

Obviously his deal with Charlie will come into play, and I think he'll probably use it as leverage to get out of his deal. "I'll make Charlie do what you want—without hurting her, or making her hurt anyone else—and I get to be free from this bullshit" kinda thing. I also think it'll be very interesting when that happens, because I have a theory on what he meant by the deal having "clipped his wings"—I don't think he can take anyone's soul anymore. Think about it; we've only seen him even attempt two deals this season, and not even once has he attempted to add a soul to his supposedly ever-growing collection. It would certainly clip an overlord's wings to not be able to amass any more underlings—especially since it seems that the more souls someone owns, the more powerful they are, not just in terms of owning other people, but in actual, tangible power. So I think he'll eventually get out of his deal, and then he'll be free and he'll go utterly off the rails... for a while. But it won't be as fun anymore. Husk and Nifty will have been forced to turn against their friends, and Alastor won't care what they think, because why would he?

Except suddenly he does. Husk's silences suddenly feel a lot more pointed, and Nifty refuses to even look at him, and suddenly he feels something he hasn't felt in a very long time, or perhaps he's never felt it at all. He feels guilt. Regret. He wants friends again, because they were loud and annoying and they didn't respect him but... he'll realise that his affection for them wasn't all for show, not even by half. Because he almost died for them. And even when he's talking about it, scoffing at his own perceived weakness... he calls them his friends.

And that's when the real fun will begin, because the Radio Demon On A Mission will be a force to behold, and god help anyone who gets in his way, because once he figures out the love he's fighting for... oh, he'll be unstoppable.

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missholland · 1 month

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Farewell, a place once called home!

I was homebound this week for an illness recovery, and thought it was the perfect time to rewatch one of my ultimate comfort shows: The Untamed.

Some people watch stuff once. Some people religiously rewatch their favs because they discover something new each time. I'm certainly part of the latter clan, and I cannot believe I never wrote about Wei Wuxian (WWX)'s post-resurrection return to Lotus Pier before.

The second half of episode 45 throughout episode 46 is quite a journey on its own right: the setting, the aesthetics, the dialogue, the emotional weight as one of the biggest secrets finally came to surface.

A very long rambling analysis ahead so bear with me!

Considering the latter half of episode 45 was mostly consumed with Si Si and Bi Cao exposing Jin Guangyao (JGY)'s dark past, there were only a couple of Lotus Pier moments that worth mentioning.

As WWX and Lan Wangji (LWJ) walked through the entrance of Lotus Pier, I was immediately taken back to what WWX said to LWJ in episode 6 when they were healing their injuries in the Cold Spring. WWX asked LWJ to come visit him in Lotus Pier one day, and I bet the circumstance they eventually found themselves in episode 45 was far from what WWX thought the visit would have been like.

Let's also take another step back to episode 34, where Jiang Cheng (JC) interrogated WWX. WWX admitted that he wanted to go back to Lotus Pier even in his dream, but at the time, he had probably given up all hopes of ever making that come true.

What else is there? His master and madam died, his disciple elder sister Yanli died, he got expelled from his own clan. It was virtually impossible to prepare WWX for the event of episode 45 where he actually got to walk into Lotus Pier again.

Let's now cruise into the main event - episode 46! Fed up with how the big clan meeting went following the revelation of JGY's wrongdoings, WWX and LWJ stepped away from the front room and made their way around Lotus Pier. They were likely just wandering around at the time, as their concentration was totally occupied with finding out who might be the mastermind trying to expose JGY. Then again, it might as well be WWX's muscle memory as they somehow ended up right in front of the ancestral hall.

Despite initial hesitation, WWX eventually decided to come in and paid respect to his Master, Madam and Yanli along with LWJ. It's not the first time we saw this incredibly tranquil and beautiful room. It really was WWX's most frequently visited room, whether it was being punished by Madam Yu (story apparently travelled all the way to Gusu) or having heartfelt conversation with Yanli. WWX telling LWJ his childhood stories inside the ancestral hall was probably the most mundane sequence during this whole ordeal, and a small moment of normality for WWX before our resident killjoy JC walked in.

Yes JC, we know it's your house but surely yelling in the middle of the ancestral hall whether your family was resting in peace isn't a very good idea? Our WWX certainly didn't expect any less from all the unpleasantness coming out of JC's mouth, as since forever he only let his anger do the speaking and not the common sense. LWJ was ready to have a showdown, but WWX calmly told him to stand down and let it go.

But did JC let it go too? Of course not. He was irritated by WWX's calmness and tried to spill some more frustration to get the other to react. He clearly picked the right route to go down on by picking on LWJ and Wen Ning (WN). Worse, he proceeded to single out LWJ and insulted his commitment to WWX.

That prompted WWX to yell out JC's courtesy name Jiang Wanyin, a name we didn't hear very often throughout the show but in this instance it was most memorable, especially coming from WWX. That itself drew a clear boundary in their relationship at that moment, from brothers to mere acquaintances in the cultivation world.

WWX wasn't afraid to ask a proud JC to apologise, but all JC was gonna do is pushing the button even more. He took a very personal swipe at their confidant/soulmate-ship that led WWX to, quite uncharacteristically, violently held JC's collar.

Our dearest is giving JC what he wants! Although to be perfect honest, I thought it was quite hilarious that JC for whatever reason was confident he could take on both of them. WWX possibly since he wasn't at his finest during that moment, but prime LWJ though...?

Thankfully, WWX looked up and saw Yanli's name. He knew very well it would break Yanli's heart seeing the two of them like this. He's gotta be the bigger person (and fair enough, he's already knackered from being the lure flag for the puppets). As our beloved couple once again tried to leave in peace, JC decided to make it as hard as possible for them. Here he is, triggering LWJ's angry lover protector mode.

I love the swift but determined arm push LWJ did to JC a second after this to get him off WWX, then right away his expression transitioned back into anxious lover worrier mode. LWJ didn't even give JC a second look. He promptly escorted WWX away but was still super alerted to give JC a good old Piss Off for STILL ONCE AGAIN not letting it go.

Let's take a moment to admire this bittersweet yet romantically charged frame before getting the tearfest started.

Now, our sweet baby WN just flew in with WWX's Suibian sword, got a couple of hits from JC's Zidian but was still determined to stand tall and asked JC to unseathe Suibian. JC was angry and confused, LWJ was probably also angry and confused, WWX has fainted, so now WN is the only sane one and the voice of reason. His cold lack of reaction (because he wasn't surprised at all) placing next to a shocked pikachu LWJ and confusingly mortified JC was the perfect comparison.

LWJ's face tells me that as soon as he saw JC taking out Suibian, he was already somewhat fearing the reason behind it. He hasn't quite reached the destination yet, but he was on the way. After all, he's one of the most intelligent and knowledgeable characters in the story thanks to his sect's education. His eyes made it look like he was holding on a tiny glimpse of hope that maybe it's not true, maybe it's not the worst case scenario, but it was certainly mixed with fear that it might be.

It's very different from JC who's just completely out of the loop, no hint of any possibility that he might be able to work out what happened. If WN wasn't there to SPELL IT OUT, JC would just remain angry and confused for the rest of the episode.

As JC is still in deep denial, and WN precisely recounted the event on the mountain in great details where JC was tricked to go find Baoshan Wanderer who could fix his core, LWJ only had eyes on WWX. His ears were listening to everything WN said too, but his focus was on WWX while he did his own reflection on how he reacted to WWX abandoning swordsmanship in the past (the same way JC did).

All the burning questions LWJ had inside his head - why WWX no longer carried Suibian, why he made all these excuses to not get back into practicing swords, why he took on crafty tricks, why he had a change in personality and demeanour, why he behaved so strangely after getting Suibian back - they are finally answered. But in the most unimaginably painful and heartbreaking way. LWJ's trembling face and tears scream PAIN, the pain you feel when you know someone you love is in pain, but you are also aware that whatever you feel is only 1/10000 of their actual suffering.

Pain and anger come together time to time, and LWJ has heard enough. He just wanted to get WWX out of here, out of this hell of a truth. He made his feeling known by stamping Bichen loudly on the ground and took WWX away, once and all.

Our baby WN really shined here. He wrapped up this dreadful revelation by daring JC to find anyone who can unsheathe Suibian, but not before hitting him with possibly the last thing any human being as competitive and eager to win like JC wanted to hear - did you know you were supposed to beneath your disciple older brother forever?

WN kept his head down and let out a sigh. He knew he shouldn't have done it since he promised WWX, but that was as much as he knew he had to do so. His guilt toward WWX was starting to hit him, but it was also obvious that a huge burden has been lifted off his shoulders.

We're now getting to the end of WWX's unexpectedly eventful return to Lotus Pier. Without JC's unreasonable pot-stirring screaming, we're finally given a lovely shot of Lotus lake at night with LWJ ensuring WWX's body not leaving his caring touch. I don't think we've had a proper conversation between LWJ and WN up to this point, and what makes it so special is that it's a genuine exchange between the only 2 people left who deeply care about WWX - a lonely anti-hero who's been walking alone on his deeply misunderstood journey for so long that it lasted through 2 lives.

Sweet WN also thanked LWJ for taking care of A Yuan and we got to learn about how LWJ managed to save A Yuan back then. It was sad but heartwarming knowing that WN was content with not disclosing A Yuan's past to him, as he's had a happy childhood and blessed life thanks to LWJ. Although, he acknowledges that eventually A Yuan would find out, just like JC did about his golden core.

Now as the conversation circled back to the golden core swap, LWJ asked WN a question that truly, you only ask when it's about someone you love. 'Is it painful?'. Not 'How did Wen Qing do it', but was it painful for WWX. What was the feeling he had, what was the pain he suffered, what was it like. It's not a sympathy question. It's something you want to know and empathise when your loved one goes through hard time. It's such a deeply specific and personal question, because when the person you love is in pain, you are too. You even want to feel it too, and LWJ is no stranger to that if we recall him leaving the same burn mark on his left chest as WWX had. Shame that this detail was never explained in the show.

As WN described:

'He should be sober enough to see the golden score which connects to the spiritual vein be separated from his body and feel the spiritual power die down little by little, until it is motionless and nothing can be felt'.

You can feel LWJ's pain peak as he was told WWX remained awake for 2 nights and 1 day with only 50% chance of success. As someone who deep down admires his soulmate's talent from a young age, what could be worse than having to hear that his other half had accepted to be mediocre for the rest of his life and never ascend to the top as he could have easily done?

Poor WWX regained conscious and realised where he was. Unsurprisingly, all of his Lotus Pier memories were tied with Yanli and he's overwhelmed by the image of her and flashback of their time together. What is home to WWX, the one who was trying his hardest to grow lotus somewhere as deadly as Burial Mounds? JC was his family, but not anymore. Yanli is no longer around, but till her death, she remained his family. She might have had married into Jin clan, but she embodied everything about Lotus Pier. Yanli is home. Yanli is Lotus Pier.

Seeing Yanli die at Nightless City was saying goodbye to the last person on earth who cared about WWX (or so he forgot about LWJ), which pushed him to giving up on his own life. So is Lotus Pier still home without Yanli? Is there even home without Yanli? WWX was barely treated like a proper guest at Lotus Pier. He was just someone who knew the way around, as home no longer hold the same meaning as it once did.

Lovely WWX was finally jolly again at the possibility of snacking on some tasty lotus seeds he must have missed dearly. Yet his little happiness was seemingly switched off by the rigid rule follower LWJ. If anything I was surprised that WWX agreed to give up the lotus seeds that quickly, of course not without sulking in disappointment.

But all of this only make the following moment even more glorious and poignant: the high and mighty LWJ who grew up obeying 3000 rules at Gusu Lan Sect literally picked a lotus with his own hand and give it to his soulmate, much to his shock and confusion.

At first I thought Well that's the least LWJ could do, has WWX not suffered enough, would a few (hundreds) lotus seeds matter that much. He's been in pain, he needs to be coddled and spoiled till the end of the world! So LWJ willing to break one tiny rule (tiny, comparing to all the others he broke because of WWX already) is a well deserved comfort that WWX needs.

But then it also hit me - it is an example of making compromise in a healthy relationship. WWX used to hold on to his wine and was willing to put up a fight for it, most of the time against LWJ himself. So why was it so easy to him to just have an awkward chuckle and drop the lotus seeds as LWJ didn't want to break a rule?

WWX compromised, as you would in a partnership. You don't have it your way all the time, you work together toward the same goal and there are times you're willing to put your partner's values above your own benefit. WWX, despite not fully happy about the decision, still agreed to give us the lotus as LWJ was uncomfortable. And in return, LWJ was okay with putting WWX's needs above his ingrained principle about 'stealing'. At the end of the day, it's not about winning or losing in a relationship. You win together and you lose together.

We really are spoiled with lotus romance in this episode!

But maybe... just maybe... LWJ doesn't know whether WWX would ever get a chance to return to Lotus Pier. Should this be the last ever opportunity, he would probably rather WWX's final memory of the visit not being JC's anger and resentment. In return, it is a rare carefree moment on Lotus lake, one his WWX's favourite places, eating lotus seeds with the only 2 people who still care so much about him and willing to go to the end of the world for him.

If this is meant to be a farewell to a place WWX once called home, while LWJ couldn't change the unfortunate circumstance that led to this challenging visit, he at least has done his best to give it a drama-free peaceful ending for the person he loves dearly.

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bronx-bomber87 · 3 months

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Happy Saturday Lovely Fandom. We've reached the second to last ep of this series rewatch. Unreal. God I LOVE this ep. So so good. Tim being her handler. Reminds me of Alias. Which was my first love for tv show/ship. If you ever watched Alias you’d know why I love this asset and handler situation so much. Let us start.

5x21 Going Under

Start out strong Lucy is going UC. Has to do with the last episode. Frank Teska has been released from prison. He killed his brother for the attack on his daughter Dara. He is back in business. Looking to get into the Ghost Gun trade. You need specific polymer to make them. Metro raided and took his supplier out. Which is where Lucy comes in. She will pose as someone at Southland Chemicals. Be his new supplier.

We join our ship talking about the OP. Tim mentioning he’s using Hard Luck as his CI. Lucy not trusting this guy as far as she can throw him. Tim’s reply is the best. The fact that his CI knows how important Lucy is to him *squee* Then telling her as such. That this guy knows Lucy is special to him That if he messes up Tim will hunt him down. Gah I love this. Calling in favors for his girl. Work version of romantic ha

Lucy’s sweet expression when he tells her this. Basically saying he loves her in not so many words. Lucy being Lucy calling it 'Undercover love.' hehe Tim isn't even fighting it anymore. Just smiles shakes his head and rolls with her antics. We all know he loves her for it. Damn they cute. Actions always speaking louder than words with these two. Lucy couldn’t be cuter as Tim walks away. Her smile saying more than words ever could about how she feels about this man.

Then we get these GLORIOUS phone calls. Like rom-com goodies up in this episode. Love me some protective Tim. Asking her if he needs to talk to her boss? Lucy waves him off. Says she's got it. Tim looking mighty fine Phew lord Scruffy, his sweater and his eyes popping in this lighting. Mmm. Lucy of course checking in on him next. I love this so very much. He won't tell her he's struggling.

So she's going to check on in him since he won't do as such. Tim knowing exactly what she means. Asking if that means he misses her? We all know he does but he deflects in the cutest way. Saying no. His smile when she calls him a jerk. But he's YOUR jerk Lucy haha. He is so damn smitten with her. Loves teasing and messing with her. Just as much as she does for him. One of their love languages shining through in this moment. My damn heart.

She asks if Tim can check in on Tamara? Tim doesn’t hesitate for one second. Of course he’ll check in on their daughter. Doesn’t want her to lose any focus on the job. We then delve into the cute snippet conversations that have my shipper heart fluttering. Lucy telling Tim not to watch 'Top Chef' without her. I love that they have a show they watch together. Makes me giddy. Such a couples thing to have that. Tim giving her crap saying he can’t make any promises.

Lucy asking Tim if he ever wished he had a normal job? Tim says without people shooting at him? Not once. Lucy replying me either. These tidbits are just fantastic. They both love their line of work so much. This whole talking about everything and nothing at all just shows the deep bond they have. Comes from riding together for years 12 hours at a time. Her being UC is isolating but they get to have these moments despite that. Little pockets of joy before this OP heats up.

Tim asking if she’s making any friends? Lucy going on about a lady in her office. It’s so cute I can’t stand it. Talking about his grandkids and such. I love this is so very much. They did a really good job with these shots and the VO's. I saw a lot of people saying felt like rom-com and it really does in the best way. Just being on the phone whole time. Even though they're physically apart they still find a way to connect and be together. It’s so sweet imma get a cavity.

Day 4 rolls around and Tim ask if the monotony is getting to her? Lucy tells him no as long as it’s not for nothing. I mean she had two weeks of it in 3x14. 4 days is nothing but now she has Tim so she's got more to miss this time around. I adore the voice overs in this scene. Tim reassuring her it’s probably cause Frank is double checking her story. I love this shot of Tim in the side mirror. Fierce protector reporting for duty.

Frank has finally surfaced and approached Lucy. Her cover story of being a wanted felon has worked out. Frank thinks she’s an easy target because of it. Lucy playing the fresh start card with him. Not wanting to get into business with him. She does this so well. He tells her not an option. That he needs certain plastics and she needs to not go to jail. Telling her it’s low risk.

Gah I love Tim watching over the situation from across the way. Looking fine af BTW. My god I'll never be over how tall he is and I love it. Tall drink of yum. Look at him in his civvies, the hat, the glasses, the intense way he's watching her. Listening in to their convo. Trying to keep his protectiveness in check. Doing his best not to step in. Especially when Frank threatens her. Which causes Lucy to say yes. Frank says they’ll have dinner tonight then. He’ll come get her from her place. They can hammer out the details of this new partnership.

Lucy meets up with Wesley, Harper, Grey and her man. They’re going over this date for her. Tim looks like he’s going to crawl out of his skin. He hates the idea of this guy possibly thinking it’s a date. He hates this entire conversation really. Keeping his hands in his pockets. Looks at the ground trying to settle his protective nature.

I love Grey checking in with Tim. Minute he hears the word 'romantically and date.' He immediately looks at Tim. Knowing he hates this on so many levels. Tim isn’t being at all discreet with how he feels about this situation. He's basically squirming in front of all of them. Tim continuing to try to put on a brave face. Not well but sure trying. His whole body language screaming his immense discomfort.

Tim is being the least subtle he’s ever been in this moment. Hating the idea she needs a good wire in case he’s handsy. You can see him take a deep breath and clench his jaw at the thought of this. This conversation is killing him softly. Some angsty goodness though. The check in's these two have above getting me in the feels before she sets to leave. That silent communication of their's prominent af. I LOVE him walking Lucy to the door. The intense looks they share on the way.

They both look amazing btw. He keeps constant eye contact with her till he can’t any longer. The intense longing in his stare as he watches her go. *heart clutch* His entire world just walked out the door and it shows. Eric crushing it with the longing look. This is the type of angst I eat up. It’s so so good. Worried Tim is lovely to behold. And that man is insanely worried. He is an open book as she walks away from him. Trying to keep himself from losing his damn mind over this man possibly touching her.

Grey immediately checking in with him. Man wasn't exactly subtle during that whole conversation. Asking Tim if he’s ok? Tim lying saying he’s 5x5. Such a detached military reply. When he is anything but detached in this moment. Wade knowing he’s lying. Their friendship is underrated. Grey saying he has to treat this like any other OP. Any other UC. Sure he'll get right on that. Thanks to Lucy his emotions aren't so easy to turn off anymore. Also not like it’s the love of his life he’s watching over or anything…

Lucy goes to dinner with Frank all wired up. Tim watching intently outside. Fierce protector at the ready. The intense look on his face as he watches over her is doing things to me. *fans self* Like a lion pacing back and forth in it's cage waiting to be let out. Ready to attack at the slightest provocation against her. It's insanely hot tbh. He would gladly throttle this man if given the chance to. All he needs is to be given a reason.

Lucy almost gets Frank to admit to his brothers death when bullets start flying. We watch Tim in an absolute panic call this in. Desperately searching for her in the wreckage from his car. Trying to find her as he rattles off their address. I love her jumping up and looking his way so he knew she was ok. His giant sigh of relief when her head pops up. Feel like we all did that with him. Went from all out panic to instant relief. I said in the hospital scene she is his whole world. That just got shot at and he was paralyzed until she popped up.

He couldn’t breathe until he knew she was alright. His whole body slumping against his seat in relief. Eric crushing it out here with his expressions getting me all emotional. I love how his eyes dart back to her once more before he takes off after the shooters. Double checking she really is there. He couldn’t even be in pursuit of them until he knew she was ok. You can see he wants to stay but can’t. Having an internal battle but knows he has to go after them.

His cop brain in a delay due to this. This delay in reaction definitely affects him in his pursuit of the shooters. Don't think he was fully there mentally. Tim's head was most definitely not in the game when he went after them. Taking us back to 5x01 when Tim told Lucy if her head isn't the game 100 percent it'll get her killed. He is the living embodiment of that line in this moment. This dude almost killed him. Even when the gun is in his face his reaction time is slower.

That is not the Tim Bradford we know and love in the field. He was clouded his emotions running rampant. He had not compartmentalized at all. When Jan shows up it really hits him what almost happened to him. Saying he got lucky it was empty. Otherwise…ugh I don’t even wanna think about it. He’s panting his adrenaline waning and it showing. Looking over where the guy was knowing this could've been far worse. Knowing what it would've done to Lucy.

I love the minute she’s done dealing with Frank Lucy calls Tim. Anxiously awaiting him to answer her call. Both so worried about one another. Gah this episode is fantastic. Never seen Tim this panicky or shaken up. This is a UC OP he’s involved in I can’t imagine how he’d be if he wasn’t.

He just loves her so much. Having a legit meltdown till he knows she’s ok. It’s all over his face as he talks to her on the phone. Eric killing me softly in this one. Lucy isn’t pulling any punches with her worry either. Both making me emotional as hell. Tim replying ‘Yeah I am now.’ *internal screaming* Wasn’t ok till he knew she was.

The love they have for each other is all over this moment. I’m not crying you are…You can see all the tension leave his body when he hears her voice. The neediness in both their voices when he says they should meet up. Gah yes you do. They needed to hear each others voice to calm down after that adrenaline fest.

Then we come to THE laundry scene. One that broke my damn brain. Pretty much broke the entire fandom's brain. I love how she rushes to him and clings on. Wanting zero space between them. Tim leaning into her arms. Rubbing his hand up and down her back. I’m sure both their hearts were racing. They are each other’s safe space and this hug shows that.

So scared and only finding comfort in each others arms. So much emotion surging through them in this hug. I love me a good hug and this one is fantastic one. Trying to ground one another with it. Speaking their concerns about what they just went through. The swaying gets me too. I love everything about this hug.

Lucy basically launches herself at him. He catches her effortlessly and holds her so tightly to him. The remaining tension melting out of of their bodies. Because they were running on adrenaline and anxiety until this hug. Tim holding her so close making sure she’s real. There with him. I’ll never be over this moment and how lovely it is.

This next portion just proves why Lucy is his person. Tim is losing his mind with worry over this guy. Over him trying something. His anxiety coming off him in waves. Lucy wants to soothe him because it's her natural instinct. Tim looks like he wants to cry or punch a wall or both when he ask if he’s tried something? Lucy reassuring him he hasn’t but even if he did she’s got this. The fierce protector coming out strong right now. He can barely contain it. Tim deflecting a little saying ‘I know.’

Lucy knows this man so damn well. Telling him knowing and feeling ok are two different things. She's so right. I love the way she grabs his jacket trying to comfort him. Tim is being so soft and vulnerable in this moment. She wants him to know it’s ok. She’s ok and it’s very ok if he isn’t. Eric killing this episode left and right with his expressions. His heart is hurting it’s all over his face and Lucy is reaching out with a reassuring touch. I love her for validating his feelings. Not judging him for them.

But also knowing he’s being very vulnerable right now and she’s being wonderfully receptive to that. Tim gets a little defensive saying. Not his first time. Lucy is SO good with him. Doesn’t shame him for being bristly about this. Knowing it’s his PTSD in full swing. So soft in her reply and expression. Letting him know probably what’s making this so much worse for him. This is why she’s his person. Never shames him for his feelings only loves him through. Gah they’re making me so emotional. I love this couple so much.

Before Tim gets anymore emotional he tells her he has to go. Now isn’t the time to talk about this. That he knows if she doesn’t feel safe she will bail. If she’s good he’s good. Lucy confirms she’s good. Tim says he has to get back to the station then. Grey is waiting for a status update. Lucy stops him before he can go. Not ready to be apart from him just yet.

Grabbing his arm keeping him from leaving. I love the way she is looking at him landing on his lips. Then she says the 4 words that made us all collectively lose our minds. ‘Lock the door first.’ Is this real life? Did we really get this moment? Adrenaline fueled we made it out alive laundry room sex? Oh my damn lord.

The way he looks at her when she says this. *fans self* Tim is definitely not treating her like any other UC…I remember gasping at her saying this. Needing to be with him in this moment. Tim’s smile realizing what she’s saying. My god. Laundry room sex is now canon for them. We got shower sex last ep and now laundry room post-op sex. My god the writers were good to us. I like being pandered too LOL Also you know there is a damn good chance highly likely really this was unprotected too.

Lucy couldn’t let him walk away yet until she had him. Hot damn. Tim not one to deny her anything is easily roped into her naughty plans. I’m still not over the risks they took to have this heated moment together. They had a frenzied hookup while she was on assignment. I’m dead. They’ve actually killed me in the best way. S5 truly is a fic come to life. I love every minute of it. Clearly missing and craving sexy time with her man. Also probably still hopped up on adrenaline as well. Undercover hookup phew lord we are blessed haha

Lucy calls Tim after she gets away with Frank from the warehouse. Saying the OP is done. Frank has nothing left to build. Tim is flirty af in his reply. With a shit eating grin to go with it. Saying that’s too bad... Lucy is confused and says why? Tim referring to their hookup in the laundry room. Bummed he wasn't going to get another. Timothy Bradford I never haha This man is so different when he is truly loved and happy my goodness. I couldn't love it more.

Hard to believe this entire episode is canon. Tim is definitely loving his sex life with Lucy and proud to let her know about it. Hell so are we haha Horny Tim is hilarious and I love him so. They could find another laundry room for a repeat performance if he would like LOL Fanfic come to life this season swear to god. We live in a world where this scene happened and I’m dying.

They return home because at this point it’s their home. Gah love how Tim looks at Lucy as he approaches her. Man is so insanely in love with her. Lucy saying she needs a big meal, hot bath and quality sexy time. Heh. Then to sleep for 24 hours straight. I love how Tim encases her hands in his caressing them as they speak. Running his hands up and down hers. Needing this connection.

I love Tim being the physically affectionate one of the two. I always knew once they got together he would be the one who couldn’t keep his hands off her. Touching really is one of their many love languages and I adore it. Never saw them nearly as touchy with their ex’s. Just another reason proving why they’re so right for each other. Gonna be the death of me and I welcome it. Lucy can tell something is up. Asking him what’s going on?

Oh my poor damaged boy. Having a trauma response right now with her saying she needs time to decompress. I love him not deflecting and telling her how he’s feeling instead. That’s not easy for him. I also totally get his response. I still have trauma responses to things as well. Lucy knowing it is telling him it was only a week. That one nights keep will do her just fine. Trying to say without saying she’s not Isabel. Tim accepts her answer.

Lucy says she has to come clean about some thing though. That she knows she made him promise not to. But she watched 'Top chef' without him. For shame Lucy Chen . For shame LMAO I guess that monotony did get to her since she finished it without him.... Tim is so offended I’m dying. Calling her a 'Bad girlfriend' *screams into a pillow* They’re so friggin cute I am dying. Lucy's 'No, I'm sorry!' It is horrible Tim is right haha Making him promise not to then watching it without him. Every right to be playfully mad at her.

Lucy wastes no damn time and confronts Tim about the shooter in the alley. I love her so much for always calling him on his shit. Saying how he didn’t tell her he almost died in that alley. Tim brushing it off saying because he didn’t. Oh Timothy. Acting like her losing you wouldn’t completely wreck her. Absolutely devastate and ruin her like it would for you. I think that’s exactly why he did it though. Acting like it’s not a big deal when he knew it was.

Protecting her from that fact. Lucy coming at him saying doesn’t matter who told her. That they’ll set aside the fact he left it out of the report. 2x01 Tim would be appalled ha. Doing it for the same reasons Lucy did then. Insane how this same kind of fight still involves Isabel indirectly. Lucy can’t believe him right now. Acting like it’s nothing. Like she didn’t almost lose him.

We see a little more trauma Tim come out here. Just assuming she's keeping things from him when she's under. I so relate to him reacting this way I do. I misread something my best friend had texted me the other day. I made an assumption like Tim is here. My friend was wonderful texted me back ‘ Your trauma is showing.’ And it knocked me out of it. It’s involuntary when it runs so damn deep. And we know it does for him.

I’m so glad Lucy is there to knock him back out of it. Saying No you know Isabel did for a fact. Calling him right out for it. These kinds of fights are so good for them. Forces them to face the stuff they’re hiding. Things they didn’t really touch on last episode. This was a much better and more open conversation. Tim didn’t hide behind being ‘fine.’ And Lucy isn’t letting him get away with it. Tim can’t fight that logic and it’s all over his face in the second gif. The way his body slumps in reply.

Lucy making a strong ass point next. Saying if this is going to work between them he has to see the difference. She not wrong. He really does. Tim shooting back of course he can. (Babe you got some work to do...) What I love the most is Lucy said her piece. Put him his place about this. Which was needed and now Tim is saying his. The dialogue in this scene so much more productive than 5x20 was. Airing things out and how they actually feel. Tim voicing his need to know she will listen to him if he sounds the alarm.

That otherwise all the pain he went through was for nothing. Then he says the line that shows me Lucy is the love of his damn life. ‘I can’t lose you the way I lost her.’ Tears in this man’s beautiful eyes. Imma cry myself. Finally voicing the fear he kept inside last episode. He cannot lose this woman My heart. She is everything to him. Pulled him out of the depths of his pain and hurt. Brought him back to life. He loves her so much and is saying as such in this moment.

Lucy can see this and reassures him he won’t lose her that way. She would walk away for him if it ever got that close. Ugh my heart. He sounded the alarm earlier and she shut it down. So they both have stuff to work on. I mean it's why he brought it up. He felt like he was sounding the alarm in the laundry room. Lucy brushed it off saying she didn't want to tap out. But them having this conversation hopefully they can be more aware of these things for a future OP and in general really. The need to openly communicate is a must.

Tim says 'Okay.' Choosing to trust what she is saying. Then we get another glorious hug. The way he clings to her. His hand around her neck pulling her to him is so visceral. He loves her so damn much and it’s shown beautifully in this embrace. How much she means to him. Pulling her in close. Lucy doing the same thing clinging to him like a life raft. Her arms pulling him close to her as well. We see both her hands on his shoulders. *sigh*I'm so proud of them for both speaking their minds in this scene.

Lucy calling Tim out was so needed. He has to see she isn’t Isabel. If not it’ll destroy him. No one gets through to Tim like Lucy. This scene was so raw and honest. Very much needed after all that was left unsaid in 5x20. Never be over them being vulnerable with one another especially Tim. Not only telling her he needs her to listen but sharing he CANNOT lose her. Basically laying any cards she didn’t already have from him on the table. So proud of him. He’s come so far and this scene shows it. I truly love the writers for how real they write them. Phew Lord this was a good ep.

~~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Angela calling Aaron from closet about a case hilarious. The entire ep trying to do stuff for her I was laughing so hard.

Also nice to see Celina go out with a nice guy. She deserves it.

Well the next one is the last one holy moly. Thank you forever and always to those who like, comment and reblog these reviews. You all have made me so appreciated by doing so. I will see you all in the 5x22 :)

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nyctophiliq · 1 year

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✮ — OVERTIME ; ashley graham

SYNOPSIS . . . after the comment ashley made to leon about clocking in some “overtime”, your girlfriend is not shy to let you know that it’s just a joke, but you are sure that she had some kind of plan to get here

MINORS DNI. . . afab reader, nsfw ! — lowercase writing intended, ashley is not that oblivious in this or something like that, suggestive comments, leon mentioned, car sex, thigh riding, fingering, the whole thing is in an uncomfortable position but reader and ashley are desperate, kissing, dirty talking, jealous reader,

wc ; 1,28 k

MOSS’ NOTES . . . the more moss rewatches the resident evil 4 remake videos the more they fall in love with ashley, but you will only really get this if you know the 2005 game’s conversation of ashley and leon’s on the jetski otherwise please enjoy !!!

you scoffed as you saw the helicopter landing not far away from where you were standing. you rolled your eyes as the president’s guards alongside your father started flowing to the door of the aircraft, helping the kennedy boy and ashley out. you gave a nod to one of your father’s goons and headed for the garage where your black suv parked which you were to take ashley home with.

“aren’t you gonna wait for me?” you heard a similar sickeningly sweet voice just as you were opening the front door. you sighed, turning around to face your girlfriend with your arms crossed over on your chest, waiting for her to step closer to you. her comment earlier in the comms was not something you could roll your eyes at, it made you want to stick a pencil in your ears and never desire to hear again.

“i thought you already had company for tonight, why don’t you go with him?” you mock her while sticking the car key into the door, twisting it, and tugging it open for you to throw your bag in. ashley sighed as she leaned against the car’s panel, trapping you between the open door and herself.

“babe, it was a joke. we can just stay at my place, have some drinks, watch a movie…” ashley trailed off suggestively, but you knew what she was hinting at even before she finished speaking. she gave you an obscene look before opening the door to the back seats and sliding in, the faint sound of her chuckle hitting your ears.

you shut the door to the driver's seat and stopped ashley from closing her door, pushing in next to her before shutting it behind you. it took you a minute to find the car key in your jacket's pocket, fumbling around furiously before finally getting it between your fingers and being able to lock the car with the key button.

you turned to ashley who was watching you curiously.

“what?” she asked, raising her eyebrows at you. you scoffed lightly, just under your breath, before leaning towards her and pressing a quick kiss to her lips. you pulled back slightly as you felt her tongue run along your bottom lip before pulling away with a mischievous smile.

“oh so you are not mad anymore?” ashley murmured. you groaned deeply and grabbed onto the collar of her shirt. ashley chuckled lightly, kissing your jawline as she moved onto your lap. you huffed through your nose. “you know you like it when i get you worked up.” she purred. you groaned again, moving your hand down her back slowly until it found a comfortable resting place on her ass, gripping it cruelly. ashley gasped, shifting a bit in your lap so as to give you room to pull her underwear to the side. you moved your hands to caress her bare skin, moving the skirt up a little bit further so that you could move your hand beneath it. she moved her hips into your touch as you slid your finger between her folds.

"i just wanna show you that his 'overtime' is nothing compared to ours." you mumbled lowly, bringing your mouth close enough to brush your lips against her ear. ashley's moans filled your ears and you felt yourself get aroused. but she stopped you, removing your finger from her heat quickly, not letting herself get too drowned in her lust. she had another plan, one that would make the both of you quite happy. “you don't get to have all the fun yourself, i wanna see your face when you cum too." ashley chimes, her hands making their way to your pants' buckle and wasting no time to undo it.

you pulled away from her ear and looked up at her, the hands on her hips moving her to slip her exposed core onto your clothed thigh. you let your nape hit the headrest behind you, eyes wandering around ashley's body, taking her in fully. she seems a bit thinner, it might just be the lighting but you are sure that her being captive played a part in it.

as you daydream about your lover she is toying with the hem of your panties, running her fingers along the elastic band before pulling it and letting it snap against your skin playfully. she doesn't give you any time to make a comment about it, not even a scoff as she buries her hand into your underwear and starts moving two fingers against your bundle of nerves. you feel your body tense up and you bite your lip to suppress a moan.

"feels good, hm?" she asks when she feels your fingers dig deeper into her waist. in the midst of your mind fogging up, with your arms weakening you could still manage to give her a push and make her start moving her hips against your thigh. "m-move like you're mine," you groan, trying to control your breathing as ashley continues to stroke you and rub your clit roughly, causing you to release a strangled moan and arch your back slightly.

"you always do this," ashley mutters between breaths, moving your hair out of your face gently with her hand. "get this uptight then let me please you." she says while continuing to fuck you with her fingers, feeling your pussy tighten around them. you hum softly and grind your hips forward into her hand, feeling yourself getting closer to your orgasm.

"just keep d-doing it," you mutter, barely keeping yourself from screaming as ashley moves her other hand to your breast and strokes it roughly, your nipple poking up through the material as she continues stroking your clit.

she leans in for a sloppy, wet kiss as she slides her hand between your folds once more, giving a soft groan and a small lick to your bottom lip. you suck her bottom lip into your mouth for a moment before pulling back.

"move your h-hip, baby. i want to see you come," you say between breaths. ashley does as told and moves her hips, grinding her crotch against your leg, increasing the speed by a notch.

you felt the beginnings of a wave of pleasure rush over you and you couldn’t help but grip ashley's thighs as she thrusts against you harder. ashley laughs softly at the sight, her eyes closed with satisfaction. you let out a low moan before throwing your head back against the headrest of the seat, feeling the vibrations coming from your throat and the sensation of ashley's body pulsating on yours. you felt your walls tightening around ashley’s fingers, begging for more friction. you could feel your orgasm coming rapidly, almost ready to spill over onto ashley’s fingers.

ashley stops abruptly, her body shaking as she tried to hold in her orgasm. she lets out an audible sigh of relief once she has finished. you let out a low groan of pleasure as you continue to ride her fingers through your juices. you were starting to get dizzy, your eyes fluttering shut as you came onto her fingers.

you felt ashley’s slide out of your heat and lean against you with another sigh, your juices dripping from your hole. “that was...” ashley pauses. “so much better than i expected.” you laugh softly, nodding your head as you lay it on her chest.

"don't ever say things like that again..." you murmur against the soft fabric of her turtle neck, your hands sliding up and down on the hot skin of her arms. ashley giggles, wrapping her arms around you tightly, pulling you close to her chest, and burying her face into your shoulder.

#📼 › moss tapes #resident evil x reader #resident evil 4 x reader #resident evil smut #resident evil 4 smut #ashley graham x reader #ashley graham x reader smut #ashley graham smut #resident evil ashley x reader smut #resident evil ashley graham x reader smut #resident evil 4 x reader smut #resident evil ashley graham x reader

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haemosexuality · 11 months

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im rewatching she-ra and naturally im gonna want to write about it a lot. starting by breaking down the catradora conflict origin story scene from s01e02 the sword part 2

people have said this before but the most important thing to keep in mind here is how different their understanding of whats going on is. theyre both approaching this with completely different views and so they misunderstand what the other means.

Adora: There's no time. We have to put a stop this.

Catra: What? Why?

Adora: Because this is a civilian town. Look around! These aren't insurgents. They're innocent people.

Catra: Yeah, sure. Innocent people who kidnapped a Horde officer. Now come on, let's get you back to the Fright Zone. Shadow Weaver is freaking out. [laughing] It'd be funny if she weren't such a terrible person.

so immediately theres two things i wanna say about this part, about how catra reacts to stuff. first off, something we learn about catra throughout the whole show and especially in the portal-alternative-reality, is that shes big on Pretending Nothing Is Wrong. whenever shes feeling upset or angry about something, she will start joking around and acting like shes just totally super chill guys, dw ("Ugh, whatever. It's not like I even care. I just wanna get out of this dump at some point before I dieee of boredom). Shes acting like that in this scene. Adora was missing for hours, shadow weaver was breathing down her neck and threatening her, she was already worried adora might have left at this point. she cant let adora know how worried she was tho, so shes all jokes and fast paced conversation. To Adora, tho, it just looks like catra doesnt care, like she doesnt understand the gravity of the situation.

and the other thing is that honestly? I dont think catra does care. about the town, i mean. i think catra was ready for war in a way adora never was. theyre both seeing combat for the first time here, and adora hates it. training for war is completely different than being in the battlefield, and adora couldnt handle it. face to face with it she couldnt tolerate seeing people suffering and dying, houses being burned down, a whole village destroyed. when the horde brainwashed adora into thinking they were only doing the necessary to save etheria, she completely and fully believed it, and when faced with the reality of the horde she immediately realized how wrong that was. Catra, tho, could not care less. she never believed in what the horde said, she knew full well what the horde did, so this isnt a surprise for her. and i do think shes naturally a bit sadistic, or at least growing up among the violence of the horde made her so. either way, shes seeing battle here for the first time and shes completely fine with it. doesnt even spare it all a second glance. why would she care about these people she never met if the most important thing in the world is right here in front of her? (i think even if adora hadnt left that night and went into the battlefield as a force captain, she wouldve ended up deserting. she cant stand seeing people suffer and she cant stand not saving them. shes too good, too selfless for that. catra isnt.) (also she is so ready to kill at all times. she loves violence. i once saw someone say how shadow weaver thought adora was the "cutthroat, ruthless warrior" when that was actually catra and they were totally right)

adora is also trying something futile here, she doesnt need to explain to catra that the horde is bad and hurts innocent ppl because catra has known that all her life

Adora: Catra, no. I can't go back. Not until the Horde leaves this town alone. You have to help me.

Catra: What are you saying?

Adora: I’m saying, this is wrong. They've been lying to us, manipulating us. Hordak, Shadow Weaver, all of them.

Catra: Duh! Did ya just figure that out? Manipulation is Shadow Weaver's whole thing. She's been messing with our heads since we were kids.

(the captions in the pics are slightly wrong, nvm that.) everything i said before. adora just realized all of this, while catra has always known, probably because the abuse adora suffered was more manipulation-and-brainwashing, while shadow weaver always made clear to catra that she didnt give a shit about her, so she suffered physical abuse with little attempt to convince her this was fine.

the "what are you saying?" is one of the things that show how different their perspective is. adora is talking about going against the horde and helping the town, while catra immediately gets more personal. what do you mean? are you saying that you might leave the horde? leave me?

Adora: How could you possibly be okay with that?

adora means, how could you be ok with the horde lying about its actions, and killing innocent people? how could you be ok with the horde raising us to do the same? and catra hears, how could you be ok with shadow weaver and hordak abusing us?

Catra: Because, it doesn't matter what they do. The two of us look out for each other. And soon we'll be calling the shots. Now come on, can we go home already?

catra replies: because, i love you. because you have my back and i have yours. because nothing really bad can happen as long as we have each other, remember? and soon enough, we'll be powerful enough that they cant hurt us anymore. Adora hears, because i dont care about these people dying, the only thing thats important is you and i. and anyways, soon its gonna be Us killing them, isnt that good? lets go back home to the evil murder place.

Adora: I'm not going home, Catra. I can't. Not after everything I've seen. Come with me. You don't have to go back there. We can fix this.

adora says: im starting to realize now how wrong i was about everything. we're not the good guys, and i cant stand for that. i cant stand around and watch people get hurt. i cant stand around and watch you get hurt. lets leave, together, and have a better life, please. lets do the right thing.

Catra: Are you kidding? You've known these people for, what, a couple of hours? And now you're just gonna throw everything away for them?

catra hears, shes willing to leave me. after everything i did for her, all that i took, all of these years of us being together, she would still leave me. she would break our promise. she would leave me behind.

and then she straight up electrocutes adora. ok

she says it was a reflex, but i dont know if i believe her. i dont think she likes hurting adora (not physically. not by this point, anyways), but i do think that shes the type to lash out when upset and immediately regret it, then feel guily about it. which just makes her more upset. :(

Catra: Oh, man. That was a lot stronger than I thought. Are you okay?

Adora: Why are you doing this?

Catra: Because you left me! And if I don't bring you back, Shadow Weaver’s gonna have my head. So, enough with your weird little identity crisis and let's go home already. Or do I need to zap you again?

thats the last time they talk. adora gets teleported away by glimmer, and when they see each other again, its clear that they both made their choice.

the moment adora showed catra she was willing to leave her, there was no coming back for them. because catra would never get over that. she'd spend all her life in that hellscape, putting up with abuse and bullying and probably so much more we dont get to see, because of the promise adora made her. and, in her eyes, adora was ready to leave her on the first opportunity that came up. that hurt. that broke her. and that released something really ugly inside of her.

cue in 2,5 years of homoerotic rivalry and trauma. ok post over if you read this i hope you liked it <3 bye

#autism won today this took me 1 hour to write #she ra #catra #character analysis #ig??#edit while reading old spop posts by other ppl i realized my mind might have plagiarized this from a post i read several years ago. my bad #it wasnt a conscious decision

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chaithetics · 9 months

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I was rewatching season 3(the Kendall birthday episode) and I thinking, maybe Stewy and Porce are married, or other story of course; and the part where Ken takes the siblings to see the mocking pictures and it could have one of Porce and Stewy together and Kendall "jokes" about the "crying baby and the shark" and it really upsets her(as it should) and even the siblings are upset by this, and she just turns to him and says "this is why my kids are playing with their cousins(Sophie and Iverson) ,so they don't grow up like you" and goes away. I think that'd be powerful, because the kids have a true bond, Rava and Porce are true friends and Ken is a j*rk, and when Stewy finds out, there'll be a reckoning

Porcelain and the Shark: Too Much Birthday

Pairing: Stewy Hosseini x f (Roy) reader

(reader has anxiety, no use of y/n, physical descriptions or other names but does have the nickname Porcelain/Porce - due to family viewing her that way not because of her complexion)

Word count: 3.1K

Chapter warning: 18+ MDNI (smut-free fic) established relationship, fluff, soft Stewy, anxious reader, some familial angst, some cussing, some misogynistic views, Roys being Roys.

Authors note: Thank you so much for sending this in lovely Nonnie! It was such an inspiring ask, I hope you don't mind the few changes I made, please do let me know what you think! I adore you! I'm so glad to be out of hospital and after reading this prompt I was inspired to rewatch this S3 episode. I went a little off-track and I think this one is a bit different to other fics but I made the connection about the misogynistic tones with this and also the poster that Shiv had and saw it as a great opportunity to explore and develop Porce and Shiv's dynamic. Especially with all the asks about girlhood in film and then with the Barbie film re-prompting those conversations I just wanted to explore it even more (this doesn't have Barbie spoilers or mentions btw) so I finished it pretty quickly. It's nice to be back! I'm still pretty unwell despite being out of the hospital so I can't promise or commit to a writing schedule again yet but I'll definitely still be writing more Stewy (I've had a few Barbie inspired asks which I want to get around to asap as well haha). I appreciate you all and I hope you enjoy this! Please do let me know what you think, I'd really appreciate it! Comments, reblogs and asks are more than welcome and appreciated! I adore you all! 💗(PS this hasn't been proofread..."

*****************************

Kendall was sensitive, controlling, and obsessive. Which often manifested around certain significant events and moments in his life. It was a quality all of the Roy children seemed to share to an extent, you’d seen it in your siblings numerous times and even occasionally yourself.

Kendall’s birthdays were often disastrous, he wanted perfection, he wanted to fill the hollowness inside with extravagance, validation and company. But it never quite was good enough, it was always disappointing and fell through somehow. You knew the self-created stakes would be even higher for Kendall as it was a ‘significant’ birthday along with the latest edition of family drama. Shiv’s letter had hit pretty hard and far.

You weren’t sure if any of your siblings would go, probably Connor, loyal as always. Rome? Maybe? He had an interesting, pained soft spot for Kendall. Shiv…? You’d think she wouldn’t want to show after recent events but Shiv was cunning and clever. She could show up to play a mind game perhaps? Or maybe they’d show up on behalf of your dad to really get into Kendall’s head. Would your father even attend? You assumed he’d been invited.

It was a lot of questions swirling around in your mind, you weren’t sure of any of those answers. Which was part of the reason why you were certain you needed to go, some visible and physical support for Kendall as you knew he’d be crumbling, you’d all been walking on eggshells your whole lives but the last few years for Kendall, they’d been getting more and more brittle.

You feel a little anxious as you’re stuck so deep inside your head until a familiar and soft voice brings you back.

“Where’d you go?”

His tone is laced with neutrality and an air of caution but his face clearly says that he thinks this is all a bad idea. He looks at you sitting down, facing the mirror, he thinks you look gorgeous but he notices your legs bouncing now that you’re back in reality.

“I was just thinking about Ken.” You try to keep your voice level, without a drop of any emotion.

“We don’t have to go-”

“No-”

“I don’t think we should go.” Stewy resigns. It’s at least the twelfth time he’s said it today.

Stewy hadn’t RSVP’d, he hadn’t acknowledged his separate invitation to yours and had been somewhat silent regarding Kendall. Which was extremely unusual. He didn’t like the direction of the mess of Waystar’s strategic and boardroom politics and his relationship with your family personally and professionally was strained.

You had to go to Kendall’s birthday to support him and you didn’t want to go alone. You felt bad about it but you and Stewy were both aware that the optics of Stewy being there was beneficial for Kendall’s sake.

“I know.” You sigh as you shift a little so that your head is facing him more as you look up at him standing. “He needs this though…And I need you.” You walk over to Stewy, giving him a gentle peck on his soft lips. “Please?” You press your lips against his and wrap your arms around the back of his neck as it deepens, his tongue brushes against yours and your hand tangles a little in his hair as you feel his hands wrap securely around your waist.

“We’ll just go for a little bit?” Your voice is soft as you break away from the kiss, you start to caress his cheek, your fingers dancing over his handsome beard that never ceases to amaze you with how well-trimmed and clean it is. Stewy tilts his head to gently lean his forehead against yours and nods as he inhales.

“You’re too good to me.” You whisper as you give him another kiss on the lips, you can taste the whiskey on him from his drink that’s sitting across the room half-empty. He’s sweet and his touch is so gentle with you.

“Well you’re perfect, you deserve nothing less baby.” He says as he gives you a quick but soft kiss on the lips. “Now, am I matching my turtleneck to what you’re wearing?” He asks with a smug smile. You laugh a little at that and nod, giving his cheek another stroke and then a quick peck on his lips before he squeezes your side and then walks over to the walk-in wardrobe.

****************************

You’d always been anxious about the concept of nannies and babysitters and when those services had been needed you’d preferred to have Connor (when possible) and Stewy’s family watch your children. But you trusted Rava with your life, you adored her and you knew she adored Sophie and Iverson more than anything. So with her reassurance, your children were with their cousins and would be looked after by Rava’s nanny. Sophie had been loudly looking forward to some quality time with her younger cousins which was sweet.

Those thoughts and the anxiety you’d had quickly left your mind though as you and Stewy walked into the venue and through what you were horrified and shocked to learn was a model of Caroline’s vagina.

“Do you think he talked to her about…this…?” You asked Stewy with widened eyes as you waved your hand around gesturing to the bizarre scene of a campy body horror film in front of you.

“No.” Stewy said as his eyes flitted across the room once again to take in the nurses, surgical equipment and very briefly, a “replica” of his mother-in-law's vagina. It was beyond reason, even for Kendall. “They don’t talk in the first place.” He spoke as his hand wrapped around your waist a bit tighter, pulling you in closer as he then navigated you both towards the bar. Stewy was certain alcohol would be necessary to make this night bearable, it was inevitable that someone would blow up.

As you and Stewy stand by the bar waiting for your drinks a man comes over, you don’t think you’ve seen him before and you’re not the biggest fan of the smug expression on his face as his eyes hone in on you.

“Hey, I’m Kyle.” He says boldly, Stewy’s right next to you with his hand on the small of your back. Your ring is visibly on your finger. You’re kind of surprised at the audacity of him, especially with Stewy right next to you. You look at him a bit confused, hoping he’ll end it but his smile persists. “So what’s your name?”

You say your first name as Stewy wraps his arms around you, leaning against your back with his head on your shoulder, making a point.

“Shit, you’re a Roy?!” Kyle asks, you see the flash of excitement in his eyes at that prospect. It grosses you out.

“Hosseini Roy.” You say somewhat firmly, as Stewy quirks an eyebrow and then starts to press some kisses to your shoulder and your exposed neck.

“Right, where’s your husband Ms Roy?” Kyle asks. You don’t know if he’s a stupid asshole or an arrogant one but you know for sure he’s one either way. You feel Stewy chuckle a little at that as the movement of it and its breath tickles your neck.

“The international space station-” You dramatically quip, and Stewy stops his kisses for a moment to laugh at that against your neck. This stranger is being ridiculous and so you may as well if he’s going to be so oblivious, it just so happened to be convenient that Tillie really liked space books and toys at the moment.

“That must be lonely-” Kyle cuts you off and the smirk on his face is too much. You scrunch your face up at him in annoyance.

“Can’t you see that my husband is here? Literally right here?! The whole time you’ve been doing this. Why the cuss did my brother invite you?” You ask with an eye roll as you take Stewy’s hand and walk off before Kyle has a chance to say anything else.

“What a douche.” You say as you lean your head against Stewy’s arm. He pecks a kiss to the top of your forehead with a grin on your face.

“You handled that impeccably.” He says with a small chuckle.

“Well, your act was pretty good.” You say moving your hand to rest against his back and trace patterns there.

“The international space station, I’ve never been. Do you think it has some villas with good views?” He asks playfully.

“Possibly. I don’t think we should invest in space tourism or realty though.” You answer and he laughs.

“Does Tillie think I’m an astronaut?” He asks, thinking about Tillie’s fascination with space.

“No. She’s never said it and I haven’t told her that. But I do think our children are far too young to understand the financial market.”

“You sure? I’d understand if you were worried Jonathan was going to mansplain stocks to you.” Stewy teases, as he presses another kiss to your head as you scoff.

“We’ll leave the mansplaining to you, darling.” You say tilting your head up from his arm to press a kiss to his lips, they’re soft and warm. He looks at you with a large smile.

It’s not long after that that somebody who knows Stewy through work comes over and the three of you have a conversation for a few minutes, you’re pressed into Stewy’s side with his arm around you. You tilt your head and then you see Shiv and Roman coming in and then there’s Ken.

You’re stuck inside with a hit of worry at first, you look at your handsome husband as he’s mid-sentence talking to this finance bro that you’re not the biggest fan of but who is considerably less gross than Kyle. As Stewy finishes his sentence you quickly cut in placing a hand gently on his cheek, he leans into the touch and looks into your eyes affectionately.

“Sorry, Kendall’s over there, I’m going to go over. I’ll find you after okay?” You ask.

“Yeah, of course, baby.” He nods and your lips brush for a quick affectionate kiss, you apologise to the man that you’ve been in a conversation with who nods as you walk off.

You walk over to where three of your siblings are discussing and come over when you hear Shiv saying she couldn’t find a card that said “Happy birthday” and “Get well soon” You look at her with a somewhat pointed expression, she shrugs slightly and raises her eyebrows at you.

After he hugs Shiv, Kendall’s eyes land on you and he smiles. You can tell that he’s glad Shiv and Roman came, even if they’re biting him. It makes you sad but you’re glad that he at least has some solace in that. There’s a bit of banter and you do raise your eyebrows when Roman asks about the vagina replica. When he does his little pleased expression and gesture at being told he can take it home you glare at him.

“Roman!” You exclaim and he smirks at you.

When Shiv asks if Stewy is there, there’s a pointed look from her, some smugness and a pointed look from Kendall but it’s different. It’s more desperate. You nod.

“Yeah, uh- Stewy’s here. He was talking to some finance bro. He’ll come over soon Ken. I just wanted to say hi first” You say. You’re not sure if it’s a half-lie or not yet. But you know it’s better for Kendall’s sake for you to say it, he nods at that and there’s a look in his eyes that you can’t read but boy does it worry you. Shiv drops a few more names and it’s very clear that she and Roman showed up to use it as a business opportunity.

“Hey, I got something to show you. This way. This way!” Kendall says somewhat excitedly and then walks ahead with the Roy siblings following him.

You watch Roman hand Kendall an envelope and after that he retreats back a bit for Shiv to go ahead of him, you raise your eyebrows at him and he raises them back at you.

“Please tell me you’re not stirring the pot?” You ask quietly as you walk side by side.

“I’m not- it’s nice- it’s nice. It’ll be good for Ken.” Roman says, his tone is earnest which surprises you.

Kendall then grabs your attention by talking about what he’s going to show you, you recognise some of the names and you’re intrigued by whatever it is based on that and Kendall’s imagination.

You walk into a room that’s being used as an art gallery space. As you walk in your eyes are immediately assaulted by the fictional headline of Roman. Roman’s response is more upbeat and amused than the tone of his voice or his facial expression. You can see it in his eyes, he’s retreated somewhat and he seems to get lost the longer he looks at it. Everyone knows of his intimacy issues and it’s cruel to point them out in this way you think.

You look at Shiv’s and you just feel angry. It’s a pit in your stomach of fire and you don’t feel this way often, it’s an odd feeling but it’s strong. Connor gets angry with Kendall over his and you understand that but you’re more focused on this. What was Kendall saying? Adding more stigma and cruel jokes onto sex workers? Shaming his sister for her sexuality? Reducing her to just an anti-feminist sex joke?

Shiv’s bobbed around hers and then her eyes land on your one. You turn, already upset at Shiv’s as you clock her shocked gaze at yours before you get a chance to look at it, to process it.

It’s an image of you from your childhood as a baby, it’s been digitally altered so that you’re a baby and you’re in shark-infested waters. You read the headline and comments and feel tears forming in your eyes and they’re hot. Your eyes flit between yours and Shiv, Shiv’s doing her best to hide her discomfort.

Shiv looks at you, her eyes silently saying “I can’t say anything.” And she can’t. You know that. Each step of hers is a careful calculation to avoid the emotional, hormonal, overbearing, hypersensitive, incompetent woman accusations they already throw at her. Whether it’s unspoken or spoken, and it’s both, they all say her head is unfit for that coveted heavy crown.

As a woman, sister, and mother, it’s already there. Your fate, reputation, and purpose. You’re emotional, a crybaby, sensitive and hormonal. But unlike your siblings, and well Shiv, you do not need nor want that tragic fate that they all betray each other for. While there is a sting in providing them ammunition for those perceived claims from your actions and words, it won’t kill you in the same way. You give Shiv a small nod, a silent “I know.” That is only for her.

“What the absolute fuck Ken?” You ask, he looks at you with raised eyebrows.

“What?” He asks with a chuckle.

“What the fuck is this?” You ask gesturing behind you to the large images of you and Shiv in your brother’s eyes.

“It’s a joke, c’mon you don’t need to uh get so emotional about it-” He says and you let out a humourless laugh at that.

“Kendall?! This is disgusting! You’ve reduced Shiv to ‘wife of Tom Wamsgams’ yes, because that’s all she is?! A wife? Oh, and it’s an embarrassing joke to say she’s a sex worker?! So your Times Up campaign is just strictly performative? Mr Fuck the Patriarchy is actually a SWERF trying to humiliate his sister and women for an already stigmatised career? And this is coming from the fact that Shiv has a sexuality…?” You question, he looks at you, not saying a word. Shiv stands near you watching you carefully, as Roman looks down uncomfortably and Connor and Willa stand together tensely. You’ve never spoken out like this against any of them.

“And what is this?” You exclaim as you point to the image behind you. “I’m your sister, you’re meant to care about me. Not infantilise me like that and make cruel, perverted jokes about my marriage. It’s sick Kendall. Stewy and I are there for our kids- we probably see Sophie and Iverson more than you do. This is why they’re close and Rava and I work so hard with them all, so they don’t end up doing this.” You breathe out shakily for a second, Connor looks at you sympathetically, Shiv is still silent but she’s grateful for everything being said. The tears are hot and burn your cheeks where they stay. “You have no idea what it’s like and you’re part of the problem. This is just cruel and it all reeks of so much fucking misogyny. I’ve-I’ve defended you. I’ve defended and supported you my whole life- I didn’t, I didn’t even sign that letter because it was harsh and cold but this is misogynistic and disgusting. This is just so mean and gross.” You finish.

“Fuck off.” Kendall says, it’s somewhat playfully, he has a smirk on his face but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“I can’t do this Ken, I can’t. You need to reflect on this and just do better. For us, Rava, Sophie. Just everyone.” You sigh out as more tears come, there’s nothing else to say to him and you’re ready to leave.

Shiv looks at you again, it’s not a scowl or an attempt at nonchalance. It’s also not a smile but her facial expression has softened. There’s another silent conversation, one that surprises you both as they often happen with every other sibling you have except each other. For you both, it’s a moment of understanding. It’s a genuine thank you and the usual, unusual display of Roy love and affection. You both do care about the other and you’re bonded in the impossible difficulties of being a woman. A brief few seconds of sisterhood are shared between you both. For possibly the first time, and even though you both know Shiv may never see you as more than competition due to her nature and your upbringing, you hope it’s not the last time.

You nod looking at her, giving her a small, tight-lipped smile and then leave the room to find Stewy. Shiv watches you leave and gives your quickly retreading silhouette a small smile.

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aktf7wcbh · 7 months

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*BBC Ghosts s5 obvious spoilers*

I can’t stop thinking about the s5e5. I have been in awe of it. As this is the final season, I think we all were expecting Captain’s ‘coming out’ scene. I mean ‘coming out’ of his sexuality. When he was interrupted in the group therapy session of s3e5, we all were on the edge of our seats because that seemed like his ‘coming out’ scene.

What we saw in s5e5 instead was something different, and something profound and emotional. It was more complex and multilayered.

By the way, I am fond of US Ghosts and their ‘coming out’ scene with Isaac and Hetty was nice (including the fact that other ghosts already knew about Issac’s sexuality).

I knew BBC Ghosts wouldn’t recreate that kind of conversation. That kind of conversation was already made by Humphrey and Lady Button in s2e6, regarding the different values. Lady Button was originally offended by same-sex marriage, and perhaps by homosexuality or queerness. However, she understood them in the end.

We actually don’t know what exactly Captain talked and shared with other ghosts. We saw the flashback scene of the party, but it didn’t show his ‘angle’ in that recreation. Presumably, he ‘confessed’ that he was not actually a decorated officer and was no ‘hero’. His sexuality might be, or might not be the focus. The simple fact that he came back, sneaked in and faked himself to get into to Button House just for seeing Havers would explain.

Even if he has never used the terms (such as homosexual), the whole story is full of queer undertones - or rather, overtones. Captain had to fake himself to ‘blend in’, and his disguise/secret was revealed. ‘Have you no shame?’ This is, undoubtedly, a queer story. It is not subtext, it is explicit. His queerness is overlapped with the concept of masculinity in the military (bravery, heroism) too. This storytelling is multifaceted, but doesn’t strike me as ‘shying away’ from explicit queer representation. This is pretty much on brand for BBC Ghosts.

At first I thought the reactions of other ghosts were a bit blant. However, after the rewatch, I thought it was perfect - only Lady Button said ‘you are a brave man’. It can be interpreted that Captain was/is brave to follow his heart and be himself. The fact that it was Lady Button who commented also added layers. What she said was quite comforting, especially given that she was most likely to be ‘conservative’ (obviously in the modern sense) on queer identity.

I’m really curious how long they planed this backstory. I have heard that Captain’s badge was upside down from the start, so I guess it was from the beginning. Such a fascinating story building; I like when TV serious has consistency.

#bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts series 5 #bbc ghosts spoilers #captain (bbc ghosts)

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hangmanbradshaw · 2 months

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Have you ever considered writing a Hannah Montana The Movie inspired Hangster AU? Something about the vibe of that movie just screams Hangster to me.

In my head it would be something like Bradley being forced to go his hometown and stay at his uncles' (Mav and Ice's) ranch where (surprise surprise) Jake lives and works. Idk why Bradley had to go there, maybe he's famous and has to escape some kind of scandal? I can totally see him being a famous singer (á la miss Montana) and maybe Mav and Ice used to be famous too but chose to leave the spotlight and settle down on the ranch and now they will show Bradley that there's another way of life. I also think the Mav/Ice & Jake dynamic would be really funny. Like, Jake's parents suck so he left home to apply for work at the ranch, but when Mav and Ice saw him they were just like "welp, guess that's our kid now". And so they make fun of each other (Jake calls them old) but Mav and Ice are fiercely protective of him and will call Bradley out on any bullshit when they start to get together.

There's also the perfect opportunity to include some Taylor Swift since she's literally in the movie! Also Lucas Till's character is named Travis, like, that's too good!!

Oh and the whole "I used to have a pretty big crush on you" "Don't worry it passed" (or whatever the lines are) conversation is SO Hangster coded.

Anyways, I'm sure you would come up with an amazing story so please feel free to steal the idea if you ever feel the inspiration strike!

OOOOH I could so dig this. I'm really enjoying this vibe of country/ranch Jake at the moment, and putting Bradley in that just feels right. Feels good. They have this history from when they were kids until Bradley left, and then he's back and just the bantery bickering as they feel each other out again. Also the dynamic with icemav would be really good, where they're kinda in the middle being switzerland but also Bradley so confused about when they basically became Jake's parents lmao. (I'm gonna have to go rewatch the hannah montana movie now) Anyways this is amazing!!!!! Obsessed. Maybe one day.......ahh.

#asks #i love this so much #fic ideas #hangster

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putnamcapital · 2 months

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s1 ep 6 rewatch notes

[yeah i am still doing these essays, everyone copes differently OKAY]

I wish i had the words to convey my love for the Simon-Rosh-Ayub dynamic when they’re sitting on his bed trying to talk about his video, not the Kim K. video. it’s an instance of one of the things i ADORE about YR, namely, the importance of the love and support of friends - “the gang is back together”. contra a lot of the teenage and adult movies that put romantic love on a pedestal and everything else goes to the dogs.

That shot of Wille set against the sky when the Queen leaves = is it the apocalypse or is it heartbreak and i'm not the only one seeing the religious imagery right?

“we haven’t done anything wrong.” Simon’s moral clarity, his unbreakable backbone - it’s a moment where it’s obvious the Court has no idea who they are dealing with. I’m not sure Wille even knows then.

Frida doesn’t get enough praise for her acting. that side eye of August as they cross in front of him loafing on the picnic table: sublime.

Another parallel I hadn’t seen before: Sara dresses up before dinner; she likes the image she sees of herself in the mirror. She is “someone she is not”, according to Simon (later that night), but she wants that false countenance. In S2, that same move will devastate Wille. But we have another Sara-mirror scene, in S2. Leaning on the Wille-Sara parallel, there’s something being done here about becoming who you are through artifice (dressing up ‘in costume’) or through love (revealing your true self). August (as opposed to Simon, i think …) ends up being a false or traitorous ‘coming into self through love’ for Sara.

Related … when Sara went to see August to confront him about the video, i have retrospectively imagined her as having planned what happened. But if you look at the scene as it happens, both Sara and August seem to just be playing the situation as it arises. Sara starts off by not even intending to tell August, I think that was honest. When she then confronted him about the video, she first asks why did you do this to Wille and then, how do you have the right, you destroyed Simon? none of it is about her. it’s when August asks her ‘what do you want’ - that i think the idea comes to her. And i think that explains her face after she kisses August - her revulsion at herself. it seems like a situation that spiralled out of control very fast.

i can’t really talk about the Sara-Simon fight scene because it’s my Point of No Return in terms of “This is a nice program to watch of an evening” and “These characters have become my entire waking and sleeping existence, is there treatment for this.”

in the scene that starts with them sitting on the floor in Wille’s room, there is that tender moment by the door, and one of the top two kisses and hugs in the whole of season 1 and 2 combined, punctuated with the forehead tap. and i’ve always thought it so lovely until this time i saw the “red flag” - the towel hanging on the hook - and it reminded me of the red ‘flag’ we see in the locker room every other time things go south.

the scene with kristina and wille in the car starts simply with him saying, “WHAT?” which a) comes straight out of fanfic; b) is hyper-realistic adolescent approach to dialogue but also c) actually shows that they are really close. as in, Wille might loathe his mother by the end of this episode, but also he knows exactly what she’s thinking and they can just skip all the usual staging aspects of conversation. it links, i now see, to the book scene, where wille admits that he can’t just throw out everything he’s been taught, b/c he’s internalized it so well

when K is lecturing W about all the public attention he’s going to get now, and how it will be even worse, it’s the same shot of him looking out the car window wishing he could be literally anyone else as in the first few minutes of s1ep1, after the club fight. and we see his reflection in the window, so we get him 'in double' - who he is IRL, and who he is seen to be by the viewer. very clever. very clever.

#young royals #yr s1 rewatch #sometimes frankly i wish i had never watched this show can i be released #yr office meltdown

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till-you-scream-and-cry · 1 year

Text

Shattered

Pairing: Ethan x Vic x Fem!Reader

summary: one day you bump into Vic and Ethan at the vintage shop, innocently unaware that it;s a beginning of a bitter sweet story that will change your life

word count: 8,6k

contents: polyamory, angst, smut, some fluff, mentions of being sick and anxiety, leaving marks on the body after being not careful enough (can be triggering), mentions of suffocating

author’s note: i really love this stor, even though it took me forever to write it, i hope you’ll like it as much as i do 💕

Måsterlist | tåglist

*******

1. SMOOTH

It was a rainy, gloomy day. You hated this weather, and usually, it was a reason big enough for you to stay in bed the whole day. Especially on Saturday. But not this time. You lazily dressed and decided to turn this day around with some thrift shopping. For a few weeks, you were on a hunt for vintage flared jeans, which would flatter your body. Staying home and rewatching your favourite show seemed appealing, yet you had a party coming, and you needed some new piece of clothing to add you some confidence. Ever since your work friend found out that you’re into modern art, she kept begging you to attend various expositions of the rising stars of Rome. Since your loneliness stopped feeling like freedom lately, you agreed to every invitation, in the hope of meeting someone special by accident. A girl can dream of a romantic comedy style ‘meet cute’, you thought.

While going through the racks, full of colourful blazers, you noticed a raised voice of a woman on the other side of the small shop. She was laughing in such a contagious way that you couldn’t help but peek at the source of her amusement.

“You look like a cowboy in a gay club, please for the love of god, take that off!” the blond girl chuckled.

The guy she was with wore dark jeans, and a brown vest which was at least a few sizes too small, almost ripping on his toned, muscular chest. He had nothing underneath. His long, black hair covered his back. In response to the girl’s words, he grabbed a white cowboy hat and put it on. She wheezed.

“I knew what you were gonna say…so I completed my outfit.” He chuckled and took a spin to show off his costume.

You grinned, and as he was turning, your eyes met.

“Don’t you think it looks spectacular?” He asked you with a soft smile.

“You look amazing.” You said, unable to take your eyes off his face.

You hoped that this exchange would last longer, that maybe you’ll manage to at least get their names. Unfortunately, right after you complemented his clothes, the girl picked up her phone and started yelling at someone for not calling sooner. They left in a rush.

A few days went by, and you were stuck in front of the mirror, making last-minute touch-ups on your makeup before leaving. The gallery wasn’t big, but the number of people gathered there was quite impressive. You strolled around with your friend before she abandoned you to talk to some man she met a day before. Suddenly you found a painting which caught your attention. You stood there, with your mouth hanging open, trying to take in every detail of the canvas.

“You like it?”

A familiar, a bit raspy voice appeared out of nowhere. You turned your head and saw the blond girl from the vintage shop. You smiled softly, as you realized who she was.

“I saw you earlier, but I wasn't sure if it was you.” She said and bit her lip.

“It’s me.” You cocked your head to the side. Her face brightened up, her blue eyes got even shinier.

“Well… I’m glad we’ve met again. I’m Vic.” She reached her hand to you and smiled at the sound of your name.

“And yes, I like this one.” You turned to the painting again.

“I can introduce you to the painter, it’s a friend of mine.”

You spent the next hour with her and the painter, discussing her art and the life of an artist in Rome. The long-haired man interrupted your conversation.

“Who am I seeing again, hello stranger.” he smiled and reached for your hand.

“Hi, cowboy” You smirked and gave him your hand. He kissed it gently, without breaking eye contact.

“Just call me Ethan.” he grinned and winked at you. You didn’t expect to blush this easily.

You started talking, and it seemed to be no end to your conversation. The words were flowing smoothly, and no amount of silence in between felt awkward. Fewer and fewer people were surrounding you, and finally, Ethan offered you some wine at his place. Normally you’d hesitate, say no, and expect him to be yet another man looking for a quick fuck. But Vic’s company, and his calm persona, made you feel safe enough to take the risk. Worst case scenario, you’d have a wild night with these two.

As soon as you got to his place, he grabbed one of the vinyls from his large collection.

“Ethan and his jazz…” Vic kicked her shoes aside and walked over to you.

“Don’t pretend that you don’t like it.” He chuckled, clinking with the three glasses he carried in his large hand. “Some more wine?” Ethan offered.

The alcohol and another great conversation, quickly allowed you to relax, melting on the couch, listening to Ethan’s velvet voice, talking about his new favourite musician. Vic stood up and changed the vinyl for the man he was talking about. The beat was faster, but also extremely sensual.

“God, it sounds like liquid sex…” Ethan tilted his head back and closed his eyes, enjoying every tune.

Vic started walking towards you, swaying her hips to the rhythm.

“Come here.” She whispered, beckoning you over with her finger. You couldn’t resist.

She threw your hands on her shoulders, slinking hers around your waist. She pulled you closer and started swaying with you.

“Just feel the rhythm, and feel me” she whispered into your ear, her lips tickling your earlobe.

You moved closer, your hips pressed together, and very little room was left between your breasts. You kept staring into her eyes, her gorgeous angelic face and devilish smirk. Ethan lit his cigarette and watched you two with a grin, he draped one arm around the back of the couch. In a quick glance, you saw that he unbuttoned his shirt a little, the stretched material parted and exposed his chest. Suddenly you felt two fingers under your chin. Vic turned your face to herself.

“So kissable.” She dragged her index finger over your lips.

You kept looking at her with hooded eyes and a racing heart. Vic moved closer and pressed her lips to yours. The kiss was gentle and made you crave more. Her lips were so soft and tasted so sweet. You moved your hands to the back of her head, and tangled fingers in her hair. Vic sighed and deepened the kiss, slipping her tongue into your mouth, holding your jaw with one hand, and wrapping the other around your waist to pull you closer. Just when you started losing your breath, your hands started wandering over her body, you felt another hand on your back. Vic pulled away, still holding you in her arms. Ethan smiled, looking down at you with a smirk.

“Such a pretty girl…” He cupped your face and kissed you. His hand was large and rough from years of drumming, yet his touch was tender. He tasted differently, but just as good. He nibbled on your lip, making you let out a quiet sigh.

Being trapped between them made you feel so safe, even though you barely knew them. Their soft touch, whispers, the way they looked at you. You let go, allowed them to guide you to the bedroom, and you’ve let Vic gently push you on the mattress.

Their hands and lips were exploring every inch of your body, making your head spin. Vic’s slender fingers kept teasing your thighs, before finally slipping under the thin lace of your underwear. Your sigh was muffled by Ethan’s kiss and quiet hum, full of satisfaction at how easy it was for them to make you eagerly spread your legs, begging for more. Her fingers danced inside of you, making you let out a series of high-pitched moans, his hands were cupping your breasts, squeezing them as he nibbled on your nipples. Soon after, you gasped loudly, feeling a warm and wet tongue being dragged through your folds. The world started spinning, moments melted into one long bliss. Soon later, Ethan flipped you around and entered you with a low grunt. You collapsed on your front, resting your face on Vic’s stomach. Just moments later, you were trying to keep your head clear enough to tease her with your tongue, tasting her sweetness as she kept whining and writhing under you. It all lasted long enough to fill your every cell with pleasure. All three of you came at the same time, panting heavily, kissing each other in a pile of limbs, sweat, and sighs. Soon later you fell asleep, embraced by Ethan, with Vic cuddled to your back, her hands laced in your middle. It felt different from just a hookup, not only the sex was better, but the atmosphere these two created, and how they made you feel.

Your peaceful sleep was interrupted by some movement and a pair of lips pressed to your forehead. You smiled, taking your sweet time before opening your eyes, trying to go back to the memories of last night. You knew that the moment you sit up, you wouldn’t have much time before having to leave the flat. Just as you wanted to rub your face with a yawn, you felt a kiss on your bare shoulder.

“Good morning, belleza” Ethan’s raspy voice brought you back to reality. You lazily opened your eyes and looked at him.

His hair was a little tangled yet still gorgeous, falling on his bare shoulders. His big brown eyes were watching your face. Ethan smiled softly.

“No need to be worried about anything, take your time,” he said and gently stroked your arm.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have stayed so long.” You blurted out.

“Nonsense. I hope you had as much fun as we did. And in that case, we obviously don’t want you gone so quickly.” He smiled again, melting away your racing thoughts.

“I have coffee, but I need some help with pancakes.” Vic came back into the room, dressed in nothing but Ethan’s shirt. She looked at you with a bright smile. “Ciao bella.” She sat down at the edge of the bed and gently caressed your cheek. “How did you sleep?”

“Very good” You smiled back, nuzzling her hand.

“Alright, you two catch up, and I’ll take care of the food.” Ethan kissed Your head, then Vic’s and got out of bed. You watched him putting on some boxers, carefully studying the beams of sunlight hitting his toned muscles.

A few minutes later the three of you were sat on the balcony, dressed only in underwear and tops, enjoying his pancakes and freshly brewed coffee. It felt like a dream, a perfect morning everyone would love after a night like yours. You could swear you had known them for years, the conversations were deep, and both of them were great listeners. You caught up with details of your life and listened to their stories of life as band members. Before you noticed, it started getting dark, and it was high time to get back home.

“Well… I guess here is where our lovely time together ends.” You sighed and grabbed your bag.

“Why would it end?” They both looked at you confused. “We thought you had a nice time?”

Vic frowned a little.

“Well…yes. It was great. But I thought…” You stopped, seeing their faces. “Wasn’t it just a hookup?” You said a little embarrassed.

“Bella,” Ethan walked closer and smiled, “Why do you feel the need to label it? We felt a connection, we had a great time, we both like you…why should we end it?”

You listened to him, stunned by his accuracy. Yeah, why should you end it? Life taught you many times that it just doesn’t work like that, and that sooner or later the fairytale ends. They were hot, smart, and gentle, and made you feel safe. Your body was screaming to get ready for a painful disappointment. Yet they again surprised you in the best way possible.

“Here is my number. Call me when you feel like meeting again.” Vic handed you a small piece of paper.

You smiled and left, leaving them in that cosy little flat, unaware of what was about to come.

***

The next few days felt like forever. Your inner battle kept you awake for a few nights, before you finally messaged Vic, asking for a meeting. She invited you to her flat and opened the door with a bright smile. Vic got some wine and handed you a glass.

“Ethan should come over in a bit.” She poured the wine and licked the dark red drop on the edge of the bottle. She looked at you and smiled softly. “I was getting worried you’ll never contact me.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” You took a sip and sighed, “Alright, I wasn’t sure if I should do it. It was great, really, but… I guess I thought it was too good to be true.” You chuckled.

Vic kept looking at you. She stepped a little closer and tucked a loose string of your hair behind your ear. You smiled, trying not to spill the wine. Her touch was so intimate and gentle.

“So we’re too good to be true?” She asked with a smirk and took the glass from you. Vic took a sip and put it down on the table, almost reading your mind.

“In some ways.” You whispered, watching her slowly licking her lips.

“Good. Because we feel the same about you, cucciola.” Vic said and gently cupped your chin.

She moved closer, wrapping her free hand around your waist, pulling you closer. She kissed you softly, letting you taste the wine off her lips. It tasted much sweeter this way. When she pulled away, you caressed her cheek, looking deeply into her blue eyes.

“How was I not supposed to fall for that?” You asked with a smile.

“Hope I’m not interrupting.” Ethan walked into the flat and threw his keys on the table. “What a pleasure to see you again.” His warm smile made your heart flutter.

You grabbed some pillows and blankets and made a comfy nest on the balcony. You and Vic laid with heads in his lap, as he kept lazily playing with your hair. He was reading you a book, in his soothing, low voice. The sun was setting, the summer heat was finally fading away, eased by the evening breeze. One of the characters in the book Ethan was reading, mentioned a song, to him and Vic sighed.

“Oh dear, I feel like I should know this one.” You mumbled, looking up at him with apologetic, wide eyes.

“Well…” Ethan leaned down to kiss your forehead. “Nights In White Satin is a classic, and one of my and Vic’s favourites. Up, up.” He gently patted your side to get up.

A few moments later, he was smiling happily after finding a vinyl of said song. Vic lit up some candles and left the balcony door open, even though the wind got stronger and kept moving the long curtains. Ethan turned on a small lamp and as the music started flowing from the record player, he sat by the piano. His thick fingers were moving smoothly and with ease, adding charm to an already beautiful melody. Vic wrapped her arms around you and started swaying, softly kissing your neck. You smiled and let her lead you in a slow dance. The whole evening you spent dancing, drinking wine and talking. It felt surreal, but worrying about what was real or not was the last thing you wanted to think about.

Your friends were giving you side eyes, questioning your idea of living in a three-way situationship. Yet, every day you spent with Vic and Ethan, felt better than any experience you ever had with other people. Days turned into weeks, and somehow you spent over three months with them. Your relationship grew stronger, and you joked about being a throuple. Your insecurity made you have a serious talk with them, where you established that you’ll try being exclusive. At least when it comes to something more serious. They both agreed, reassuring you of their love for you. As unnatural as it felt, you were finally happy, feeling loved and safe with two people you started loving dearly. It was beautiful, so beautiful that you missed the dark clouds on the horizon.

Knocking at your door woke you up from an afternoon nap. You rubbed your eyes and sat up, trying to find your phone. Three missed calls from Vic. You unlocked the door and opened them while yawning.

2. CRACKS

“Oh, it’s you! Hey, gorgeous.” You smiled and let her in.

“Hey…sorry, you weren’t answering and… Did I wake you up?” Vic looked tense, squeezing the belt of her bag.

“Yeah, a sleepless night. But don’t worry, I’m better now. You smiled and let her kiss you softly.

“Well, you look adorable.” She smiled and stroked your hair before sighing loudly.

“So what’s so urgent? You look a little nervous.” You sat down with a frown.

“Right…do you have any plans for a next month?” She asked, biting her lip.

“Next…what?” You crossed your arms on your chest.

“You work online, so I thought that maybe… Ahhh, I’m sorry, I should’ve explained.” She chuckled nervously and sat next to you. “Next week we're going on that tour we told you about, for a whole month, and I wanted to ask if you’ll go with me.” She blurted out.

“With you? I mean…yes, I’d love to. It shouldn’t be a problem with my work, but…are you sure about that? Was that a mutual decision?” You moved closer and took her shaky hands in yours.

“Of course I’m sure! The boys said they’re fine with that, it’s not unusual for us to bring someone on tour. And I want to take you.” She smiled.

“Wait…you keep talking about yourself, what about Ethan?” She looked down. “Vic? Is something wrong?”

“Fuck, I don’t know how to say this… Ethan wanted to bring his friend. He was excited when I asked about you, but apparently… Maybe he should talk to you about this.” She leaned back with a sigh.

“Vic, talk to me, please.” You bit your lip, feeling a slight pinch in your chest.

“Recently he got in touch with his ex-friend. I refuse to call her otherwise. He said he wanted to spend some time with her, but that's it. As friends. If you’re not OK with that, we can talk to him…”

“No. That’s alright. I’m not exactly excited about it, but if she’s a friend…” You took a deep breath. “From what you said, I feel like you don’t exactly like her.”

“God no. She’s pretty manipulative, and I watched him cry because of her too many times to like her. But it’s his choice.” She sighed, sliding down, placing her head in your lap. You leaned down to kiss her temple and wrapped your arms around her.

“I’m sorry baby. But if that’s any comfort, I’d love to come with you. And if she’s mean to him, we can always add hair removal cream to her shampoo.” You whispered into her ear. Vic chuckled.

“My evil witch.” She booped your nose and turned on her side, kissing your thigh softly.

The next few days went by surprisingly quickly. Eventually, Ethan showed up and shared the news about his friend. You wanted to act hurt and make him regret his choice, but when it came to it, you realized how immature and childish that would be. He reassured you of his love and spent a night with you before the first flight.

He smoothed your worries, yet they came back as soon as you saw Her. She looked confident, had a big smile plastered on her face, and what made you wince the most was how his face lit up when he saw her. She jumped into his arms and kissed his face with loud, high-pitched noises. Vic watched you, which you noticed from the corner of your eye. She stepped closer and wrapped her arm around you.

“She’s insufferable, but a friend. He promised.” She kissed your cheek and grabbed the handle of your luggage. “Come on, I need a hot bath…with you.”

After freshening up a little, you hoped to see Ethan. But his room was empty, and as Thomas informed you, he went out with Her. You got back to your room and cuddled into Vic.

“I shouldn’t be jealous, why am I acting so stupid?” You whispered into the crook of her neck.

“Because he’s more stupid and can’t see that it was a bad idea. But she’ll remind him why he wanted her out of his life. Just wait.” She kissed you softly. “Maybe we should grab dinner together? I won’t miss a chance to have a date in Paris with you.” Vic caressed your cheek.

On your way back, you kept drunkenly giggling, getting touchy and smearing each other’s lipsticks with sloppy kisses on the hotel corridors. You suddenly got quiet while walking past Ethan’s room. Even through the thick door, you could hear the loud moans and screams coming from inside his room. You gasped, pressing your hand to your chest. Vic grabbed your arm, her jaw clenched.

“Come…please!” She hissed, pulling you towards her room.

As she closed the door with a loud bang, she grabbed your face, smearing your tears with her thumbs, and looking deeply into your eyes.

“It’s just sex, she’s just another whore for the night, he doesn’t love her…” She held your head, which you kept shaking in disapproval. She gripped you more firmly. “He doesn’t love her!” You could swear her eyes started watering as well.

Vic pulled you closer into a rough and messy kiss, moving onto your neck and chest, leaving love bites and lipstick stains all over. She moved you onto the bed, pushed her knee between your legs and snuck her hand in your underwear. You spent the next hour having the wildest and roughest sex, after which you immediately fell asleep, not having the energy to worry about anything any more. With your half-closed eyes, you saw Vic watching you, wiping her eyes and bouncing her leg.

After the gig in Paris, you managed to talk to Ethan. He kept avoiding eye contact, making sure his hair cover his back, covered in deep, red scratches. You watched him with empty eyes and excused yourself as soon as She walked into the room backstage.

The next stop was London. You got your hopes up, knowing that she couldn’t come there because of an invalid visa. During the dinner at the hotel restaurant, you sat next to Ethan and tried to hold his hand. He winced.

“Sorry.” He smiled apologetically, taking your hand in his and kissing it softly.

“I thought that we could go out, maybe grab some drinks?” You said, gently squeezing his hand.

“Oh…wish you told me earlier. I wanted to meet with my buddy who lives here.” With his words, you eased your grip. Vic coughed and put down her glass with a loud clink.

“He's back in town? Just in time.” She scoffed, making Ethan frown.

“I haven't seen him in months, I’m sure you both understand.” He looked at you softly. “I’m happy that you’re here.”

“Are you though?” You asked, taking your hand away, grabbing your drink and downing it in one gulp.

“Of course I am, don’t be silly.” He leaned in and kissed your temple. “We’ll hang out later, I promise.”

After the dinner, he vanished, like many times before. You took a long, bubble bath with Vic and got comfortable in bed, cuddled up. She woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat, with a high fever. Thankfully, they had one more day before the gig, which she promised to spend tucked into bed, sipping the ginger-lemon mixture you made for her.

“I love you, but it’s disgusting…” She winced and took another sip from the steaming cup.

“Well, I don’t care. It works. You’re really not made for this weather, aren’t you.” You pressed your hand to her forehead and glanced at the clock. “Time for more paracetamol.”

“Damn it, I had such fun things planned for us today.” She sighed and took the pill from you. “Please just go out with the boys, they promised to take good care of you.” She took a big gulp of water.

“I’m not sure if they even like me…” You mumbled, holding her cup in your hands.

“Nonsense, of course, they do. It was their idea.” She sent you a warm smile before falling back onto the pillows. “I need another nap…” She mumbled.

“Sleep. I’ll leave you and go with them if that idea makes you happy. But please stay in bed.” You leaned in and kissed her head.

“I’ll be a good girl.” She mumbled, pulling the duvet over her back.

Vic was right, you actually spent a really nice day with Damiano and Thomas, going through the best second-hand shops in London. You finally managed to talk to them and get a little closer.

“I have no idea why he dragged this bitch along if he has you…” Thomas mumbled while pushing another chip into his mouth.

“Thom, come on…” Damiano scolded him. “Well, she’s not exactly liked by anyone but Ethan, but what can we do? Let’s watch him getting tired of her ass. Again.” Damiano rolled his eyes and winked at you. Only then you realized how much you were frowning. The idea of Her alone was giving you wrinkles.

You got back to your room with a bag full of candy for Vic. After a quick shower, ingesting all vitamins and meds you gave her, she devoured a whole pack of sour gummies and fell asleep. You kissed her cheek and made sure she was tightly wrapped in the blankets. The light in the room was dimmed, but you could see enough to make your way to the small table with a wine bottle. You poured yourself some and took a big sip. The moon was shining bright, the night was very peaceful. Almost too peaceful. You glanced at Vic and wrapped yourself in a big blanket, before going out on a balcony, to enjoy your wine in the moonlight.

Watching people hurry to their next bar of choice, laughs, and occasional fights between lovers kept you entertained for a long while. Just as you were about to go back inside, you noticed a familiar figure. Ethan was standing on the pavement with some blond guy. They were really close, and suddenly Ethan pulled the guy by his shirt and kissed him. You gasped quietly as his companion tangled hands in Ethan’s hair, turning the kiss into a rough and sloppy mess. You bit your lip hard and went back inside. What seemed like a peaceful day, turned into another sleepless night.

“I’m sorry baby… I think I know who that was.” Vic said softly, stroking your back the next morning. “Why is he acting like such a dickhead. I get hookups, but he could be more discreet, or at least admit to what he’s doing. What is this?!” Her cheeks got red, this time it wasn’t the fever.

The gig went very well, Vic was back in shape and kept praising your healing mixtures and English gummies. Ethan walked up to you after the gig and kissed you roughly. You were taken aback and gasped into the kiss.

“Fuck, I missed those lips…” He mumbled, his sweaty chest glistening in the harsh lights of the backstage room. Yet all you could focus on were the dark love bites on his neck.

“Well, I was here all along.” You sent him a pale smile.

Later that night he came over to your room, as you and Vic were getting ready for bed. He stayed the night, showing you both how much pent-up energy he had. He was rough, almost angry, and you loved it. When you finished, he went out for a smoke and left you and Vic alone in the bedroom. Vic kept staring at him through the window for a long while, before turning her attention to you.

“He’s rarely this rough. His mind was elsewhere.” She said quietly. “Fuck…does it hurt?” She gently touched your bruised wrists.

“No…maybe a little.” you looked to the side and felt her warm fingers on your neck. “Cazzo…” She mumbled, and after seeing her face you knew he left more marks.

“It’s alright, I’m not in pain Vic!.” You yelled after her as she wrapped herself in a blanket. She slammed the balcony door to muffle what she was saying. You could hear bits of it. Ethan threw his cigarette on the ground and rushed back inside.

“Did…did I hurt you?” He sat at the edge of the bed, staring at your wrists with big eyes.

“It’s alright, there’s no need to make a big fuss…”

“Perhaps if your mind was here with us, not with god knows who, you wouldn’t go so hard and noticed what you’re doing?! I have marks too, and I need to perform in a few days!”

Ethan dropped his head and kissed your hands.

“I’m sorry, so, so sorry. It will never happen again.” He looked at you with teary eyes.

Ethan’s face managed to melt even Vic’s anger. You got back to bed, and he covered every mark he made with a thousand kisses, gently massaging your skin. You fell asleep in a cuddle pile, like back in the good old days.

The next stop was in Barcelona. You knew who was about to join you, and you hated the idea of seeing Her again. But after the previous night, you wanted to believe that something in Ethan's mind has changed. You arrived at the hotel and went out for a late dinner. She wasn't there.

“Is it possible that someone stole her ID?” Thomas said at the table. Quietly, so that Ethan wouldn't hear, but loud enough to make you and Damiano chuckle.

“I'm afraid that's not the case. I saw her name under the guest's list in Ethan's room.” He cleared his throat and got back to eating. You felt Thomas' eyes on you for a long minute. He sighed and poured you some more wine.

The next day you woke up to Vic's grunt. You rolled on your side and saw her pressing a pillow to her face.

“I'm not sure if you can suffocate yourself like that. If you wanted to get a little kinky, all you had to do was wake me up.” You moved closer and took away her pillow, exposing her flustered face. “Hey.” You said.

She smiled back and opened her mouth to speak. Vic was brutally interrupted by the noises coming from the room next door.

“Fuck me harder!"

"You've gotta be kidding me!" Vic yelled and sat up angrily.

"What's…whose room is that?" You asked, knowing the answer damn well.

Your question was answered by a loud grunt which you knew all too well. Ethan. You felt sick to your stomach. How much of what he was saying was a lie? He technically loved you, but had no time for you at all, and somehow forgot to mention that he will drag his ex-friend/lover with him, to screw her on the other side of your wall. You suddenly felt the anxiety flowing in your veins, making your head spin and heart pump faster. You clearly weren't enough. He needed something you couldn't give him, hell, maybe it wasn't just sex. Maybe you didn't know the whole truth and Ethan needed Her to feel truly happy. Maybe he loved her more, and you were just a rebound after he ditched her? Maybe you were a fun fuck he had in Rome, but not a permanent part of his life? Maybe he never wanted a relationship with you two? Why the hell he suddenly stopped acting like your boyfriend, why did he flinch when you touched him, why was he so rough and absent the last time you had sex, why, why, why?!

You quickly got off the bed and ran to the bathroom, feeling physically sick. Vic followed you and held your hair, stroking your back gently. She didn't have to ask any questions. She knew exactly what was wrong. You flushed and sat down heavily on the floor, with your eyes red and watery. You felt like your chest was about to explode.

"Shush cucciola. Take this." She handed you your anxiety pill and a glass of water. You smiled at her, wondering if Ethan would do the same.

Later that night Damiano and Thomas decided to go out together and take a late-night tour through the city. Ethan was nowhere to be found, which meant he was busy with someone else. Vic was basically babysitting you, seeing how poorly you were. She kept forcing you to hydrate, encouraged some small meals and kept handing you snacks throughout the day. She wouldn't let go of your hand, reassuring you of her love with gentle touches. Knowing what you might hear or witness in your room, she kept dragging you around the city, until it got dark.

"I have wine, grapes, and some cheese. I'm afraid this will have to be enough." She arrived at the big porch of the hotel, facing the beach.

You could go straight down the stairs from the lobby onto the golden sand. You sat close to the barrier, to see the waves crashing quietly in the pale moonlight. Vic got you some blankets and opened the wine.

"I'm really sorry about what happened. I wish he understood how we both feel and most importantly how you feel." She whispered, wrapping arms around you.

"I could tell him everything, be honest, but… Vic I don't want him to think I'm jealous. After all, he said she’s just a friend. I can't let my insecurities ruin what we have."

"She…they were dating. Well, I don't know if there was an official title, but he was obsessed with her. They were exclusive, and he never did that before her. Or after. Until we've met you."

You looked at her with a frown.

"So…what happened?" You asked, and took a big sip of wine, subconsciously knowing you might need it.

"She…" Vic chuckled ironically, "She fucked his childhood friend." You gasped

"But how…and now he's OK with that? That's why Thomas hates her so much?"

"Yeah, it was their mutual friend, but Thomas was really close with him. He never forgot what she did. Bitch basically ruined Ethan for months."

"So you think they're more than friends now? You wouldn't be so pissed if it was otherwise would you."

Vic looked at you sadly in response.

They haven't even noticed you bundled up in the corner. Ethan and Her ran down the stairs onto the beach. Vic's grip around you tightened. Ethan kept chasing that girl, clearly trying to take back something she took from him. She kept waving with a notebook and making loud squeaky noises. You knew this notebook very well. He kept it as a diary and shown you its contents only once, to share with you the poem he wrote after your first night together.

Ethan finally put her down on the sand and pinned her, holding her hands above her head.

"…you need to give me a kiss or…"

"Such a pretty yet naughty girl, hmm?" He leaned down and kissed her.

They rolled on the sand, she was now straddling him. He kept playing with her skirt, mumbling something you couldn't hear. Maybe for the better. You felt the hot tears rolling down your cheeks.

"I can't do it any more. All I can think of is that I'm not enough for him. You never made me feel this way, but for him, I'm clearly just a fun accessory. Look at them…you seriously think he still loves me the way he did a month ago?"

Vic didn't respond for a long while. She kissed your temple.

"What do you want to do?" She asked with a trembling voice.

"I need a break, go back home, clear my head. We'll talk when you're back." You said, feeling your throat tightening.

"Maybe…maybe it was too good to be true. Maybe you were right." She whispered, swallowing back the tears. "I love you, but I can't give you the love of two people. No matter how much I want to make up for whatever this idiot is doing."

You turned to her and cupped her face.

"You don't deserve to be struggling like this. Maybe it was a beautiful mistake. Beautiful, but a mistake."

You got back to your room, and she helped you to pack your bags. The next flight to Rome was in over four hours, so you decided not to waste any minute. She ordered a taxi and went with you. She stood there in tears at the security check, watching you with pain.

"Let me know when you're back from Berlin, OK? Please. Vic?"

She just held you, unable to articulate how sorry she was. Her tears stained your shirt, her nails were pinned to your back.

"I'll let you know. Safe travels." She kissed you softly.

3. FALLING APART

You woke up with a small gasp, sitting up on the bed. The construction site next door didn't let you sleep for long. You rubbed your eyes and saw the dark smudges on your hands. You forgot to take off your makeup. A few moments later you realized why. You weren't in your bed, not even in your flat. Next to you were a man and a woman you met last night at the club. After glancing at him and seeing his long, dark hair, you understood every decision that led you to fucking them last night.

You slowly and as quietly as possible slipped out of bed. You collected your clothes but gave up on your panties which were nowhere to be found. You got dressed, made your face look semi-presentable, or at least kinda clean, and left the building. You felt the dirty looks people were throwing at you, the judgemental comments muttered under their breaths. You couldn't care less. Your soul and heart were in pieces and for once you've decided not to judge yourself on how your body decided to cope.

Vic walked away, and you could still feel her salty tears on your lips. A painful reminder of your failed little paradise.

You got back to your flat and kicked the heels away. A long hot bath, painkillers for a hangover and some food finally helped you to feel more human again. At least for a few hours. As you were finishing up the leftover pasta, trying to catch up on a new episode of your favourite show, your phone started ringing. Vic.

"Hey" you mumbled, wiping the cream sauce off your lips.

"Hi, sorry I hope I'm not interrupting…" she mumbled incoherently.

"No, not at all. I'm just being lazy." You said in a tone that sounded oddly cheerful and fake.

"Well, we're in Rome…do you want to grab a drink? Just me, promise."

You were ashamed to admit that you hadn't even thought that someone else might join you. Ethan hasn't sent you a single message since you left Spain. Not a message, no missed calls. Nothing, absolutely no contact at all. You were grieving, which was clearly working, judging by your reaction to her words.

"Oh, that's fine. Yeah, I'd love to see you. The usual? At seven?"

"Perfect. See you tomorrow." She finished the conversation fast, probably not sure what she could possibly add. Mentioning anything else would mean talking about Ethan, and none of you was ready for it.

When you've met, your heart quickly reminds you how much Vic meant in your life. You talked for hours, and after a few drinks moved to her flat. She kissed you the moment the doors got closed. Your hands were eagerly wandering over her body, sliding her clothes off her. Just as she was getting down to tug on your underwear, the lock clicked and someone got in.

"Vic? I wasn’t expecting to see you here. Weren't you going to visit…oh. Hey." Ethan stood there, struggling to form sentences after he saw you. Currently topless. You grabbed a top and put it on to keep some dignity.

"Look who showed up! Perfect fucking timing, as always!" Vic got up and put her top back on as well.

"My flat flooded while we were gone. You allowed me to crash here for a few days, remember? ." He threw the keys on the table.

"You tend to crash things, you have a real talent." She scoffed. Vic's drunk thoughts were dangerously honest.

You felt like a witness to a train wreck that was about to take place in front of your eyes. And it was now way too late to do anything about it.

"Oh I'm sorry, I'm fucking things up all the time? Please. You got almost too fucking drunk to play in Berlin, and whose fault was that, princess?!"

"I was a mess because you fucked up hard enough for her to leave!" She yelled and pointed at you.

"Not my fault that you both imagined something that wasn't there!" He screamed.

Neither of you knew what exactly he was talking about. Your love or the fact that he picked Her over you two. Ethan seemed angry, but equally confused, only now realizing how it sounded. Vic shook her head, grabbed her jacket and left, slamming the door behind her.

"You meant us, didn't you." You said quietly, feeling your tears forming.

"I…you both were so vile towards my friend. You think I couldn’t hear your comments and the looks you were throwing her? I really wanted us to have a nice time, I wanted to save it all, have her and you and…"

"So I wasn't enough, huh." Tears rolled down your cheeks. "Fucking say it, Ethan, I wasn't enough! I was only a fun fuck, which apparently you need in every city you go to. Besides Rome, I was useless!"

"How can you say shit like that! I loved you!"

"Loved?" You asked quietly, your voice cracked.

"Love…you know what I meant." He mumbled, rubbing his face.

"Yeah, I think I know exactly what you meant." You shook your head, and grabbed your bag, ready to leave. “You love me so hard that you haven’t sent a single message since I left.”

"Fuck, please don't go! Please?!" He grabbed your hand and pulled you back in. You let him. “I didn’t reach out, I wanted to give you time. Stay, please.”

"What, is there more painful shit you want me to hear? What, fucking Her was better too? She's prettier, more confident, and maybe even doesn't have anxiety, she’s low maintenance. Just admit that I was your second choice, a backup! Unlike the perfect slut for Mr Torchio!"

"Shut up! Please! Don't make me sound like a fucking monster that I'm not!"

You winced at his scream and widened your eyes. At that moment you hated him so much, yet your body was telling a completely different story. Something about the sense of impending doom made you crave him, this one last time.

"Of course I love you, in my own way. I love talking to you, your voice, your eyes, your smile, your silly brain. I fucking love your body and sex with you was always amazing. Don't try to tell me I must think otherwise."

He moved closer, making you take a step backwards till your ass hit the door. His perfume hit your nostrils, the scent of his shampoo, the cigarette smoke, the leather of his shoes. Your mind was going crazy.

"And even now, as much as I'd like to strangle you for what you just said, I'd fuck the soul out of you if I could."

You gasped quietly, making him smirk.

"Something tells me you wouldn't mind that at all. You want me to show you how angry you made me? How much I'd love to humble you and remind you how good it felt when I was inside of you?"

You nodded, completely giving up and letting your instincts take over. Ethan gripped your chin and kissed you roughly, pushing his tongue into your mouth. He gripped your breast and squeezed it hard, pushing his leg between your thighs. You whined and started playing with his belt, trying to unbuckle it with your hands. You missed his body, his touch, the attention he was giving you. Ethan pulled your underwear down and helped you undo his trousers. He set his cock free and gave himself a few pumps. He was already hard and wet from precum, twitching against your thigh. Ethan hooked your leg over himself and slid his cock inside with a loud grunt. His wild eyes were hooded and pinned into your face, turned into a grimace of pleasure. He started thrusting fast, causing you some pain from the stretch, but making you see the stars at the same time. Ethan gripped your throat with one hand, holding you steady with the other. You were both aggressive, loud and desperate, chasing your release. You screamed loudly, clenching around his cock. He came soon after you with a moan, making sure his cum was deep inside you. You kept panting, watching him with a pink face and parted lips. He kissed you softly, slipping out of you, letting his cum drip down your thighs. Ethan pressed his forehead to yours and whispered:

"I fucking love you, and I probably always will. But I can't give you what you need and the way you need it. Maybe I'm too scared, or maybe I simply can't. Maybe I’m built different. Maybe it's for the best if we go separate ways."

You wanted to scream, cry, or punch him for saying that. But you knew he was right.

"It was too good to be true, but at least for a moment it was perfect." You said with teary eyes.

He smiled at your words, pulled his pants back on, kissed your forehead and left.

***

A few weeks had passed since you split up. Vic and you decided to try an exclusive relationship. And partially because of that, you became a natural part of the group – attended some events, local gigs, and parties and got closer with Thomas and Damiano. You gained new friends, memories and a loving girlfriend. It was all going so well, Vic gave you the warmth you were craving and helped you to understand what a healthy relationship can look like. Of course, you were happy, but some days were rough and all you could think about was Ethan. The memories kept coming back in dreams, familiar sounds and smells. Vic understood. She wasn’t jealous, mad and never questioned your feelings for her. She was grieving too, in her own way.

From what you've heard, Ethan also became serious with Her. You wish you could say you were surprised. You could swear that every time you saw Ethan, he was looking very sad, and distant, with his head in the clouds. Once when you kissed Vic at one party, he stormed out of the room, his new girl was chasing him, spilling her entire drink on the floor. You’ve heard some bits and pieces of conversations between Vic and the boys, who kept saying that Ethan constantly goes back to the months spent with you two. Often as funny anecdotes or whenever he was tipsy, but usually after even mentioning you he was vanishing in his room to listen to depressing songs.

At last, January arrived, and with it Damiano's birthday. It was a surprisingly warm night, and after a long party, the boys made a big fireplace in the garden of their band house. You curled up on one sunbed with Vic, tightly wrapped in blankets. Thomas and Damiano were across from you, and Ethan with Her right beside you. The sky was clear and studded with stars. You laid there peacefully, listening to Thomas playing some soft melodies on his guitar. Ethan was gazing at the stars, and you were pretty sure that you saw tears shining in his eyes.

"God, I wish you would look at me like that." His girl suddenly spoke, making Damiano snicker.

"Yeah, I know," Ethan replied coldly, making all four of you turn your heads towards him.

"Well, why aren't you?" She asked, her tone got a little more serious yet still remained playful.

"There are only two women I could look at like that". Vic gasped at his words, so quietly that only you could hear it.

"Come on…you mean your sisters, right?” She nervously glanced at you and Vic. Thomas stopped playing and Damiano stared at you with wide eyes.

"No," Ethan said calmly.

"Why didn't you say it's me?" She was getting more and more mad, losing control over the usual, overtly sweet tone of her voice. Ethan kept looking at the sky.

"Because I never loved you. And I never will."

Even the crickets and owls shut up at this point. The girl made a series of noises, like a child whose toy had been stolen. She stormed off while cursing under her breath, mumbling something about wasting her time. Thomas and Damiano stood up and cleared their throats.

"We should…yeah." Damiano winked at you and dragged Thomas back inside. As soon as they disappeared, Ethan spoke.

"It's you. It's always been you. My life is so miserable without you in it." Ethan sat up and looked at you with tears rolling down his cheeks. "I've been so stupid and scared of how much I feel for both of you…"

You and Vic both stood up and walked closer to him. You sat beside him, trapping him between your bodies.

"We've all been stupid. Or maybe not stupid, just…we expected a paradise to last. Maybe it doesn't have to be perfect.

You caressed his cheek and kissed him softly. Vic kept stroking his hair.

“I wish I never invited her for that damn trip, I wish I understood quicker how it must've hurt you. I wanted us to be exclusive, but it was so scary. I didn’t want to lose myself and my freedom. Only when I lost you, I finally understood what I value even more.” He said, and started crying.

You looked at Vic, her eyes were wet, she kept biting on her lip.

“Ethan, we love you. So dearly. We never stopped.”

“Never.” Vic interrupted you and smiled.

“Maybe we just had to grow up a little, we had to fuck up to fully commit.” You said and wrapped your arm around him.

“I want to try again…if you want it too.” He sniffled and looked at you with red eyes.

“I do, I really do.” Vic smiled more and cuddled into his side.

“I kept dreaming of this, of course I want it.” You said, feeling the hot tear rolling down your cheek.

Ethan wrapped his arms around you two, cuddling you both close to his chest. His heart was pounding fast. Ethan kissed your heads and looked up at the starts, sighing deeply.

"We don't need this to be perfect. We have each other, and as long as we do, it will always be good enough.”

********

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mofffun · 8 months

Text

AnimateTimes movie interviews [❤💙💛]

Rita x Kaguragi x Jeramie (July 30)

highlights of the movie + guest cast

Change in Taisei

Rita's burden and with Morfonia / ep10, 16

Kaguragi with Racules and Suzume

Your character in summer

individual pics + translation under cut

Adventure Heaven is finally opening on July 28!

Hirakawa: In this movie you will meet a new side of Rita never before seen. Filming the movie is a fresh experience for me from start to finish.

Kaku: We will touch on Kaguragi's past in the movie. It will be very important for him in the future.

Ikeda: The coronation scene we shot with a crowd of extras. It is our biggest and grandest scene yet.

The guest cast including Ms. Sakura Ayane as Debonica is impressive too.

Ikeda: Ms. Sakura has a distinctive method of vocalization. When the two of us talked in private and she said "Royal Arms", I was stunned.

Is Ms. Sakura's "Royal Arms" cool?

Ikeda: It's very powerful, very cool indeed.

Kaku: As a king, you have to be cool.

Hirakawa: I didn’t get to meet all of the guest cast in person, but Mr. Nakamura Shido (Rainoir) has a solemn and powerful presence just from being. He brought on set a positive tension that alerted everybody "the movie is about to start!".

In the movie, Gira finally becomes King of Shugoddom. Has the star behind Gira, Mr. Sakai Taisei changed in any way?

Kaku: He's getting less nervous in public appearances. He'll still say "I'm so nervous!" even now, but he's getting better at relaxing into the role and just enjoy the show.

Hirakawa: The Taisei I saw is the one who's super nervous during filming.

Kaku: In the scene with Rainoir?

Hirakawa: Yes! His lips turned purple (laughs). "It's method acting for the Land of Death!" he said, but I think he's just nervous. Recently, he seems to have accepted his role as the cute mascot.

Ikeda: Since I only joined the cast later as the sixth ranger, I haven’t seen his nervous era. But I see where you're coming from about him turning cute.

Hirakawa: When we used to call him cute, he'd say "There's no such thing!", now he just nods, "Um..." (laughs)

Everyone: (laughs)

Ikeda: He might be somewhat happy to hear that.

Please tell us more about the main series as well. In Episode 16, Rita's past is revealed.

Hirakawa: I think through Episode 16, the audience can now feel Rita’s burden. Revisiting the past, we reaffirm Rita's resolve and sense of responsibility, as well as pushing forward in the mystery that is Fury of the Gods. This development will impact the TV series going forward.

How do you see the relationship between Rita and Morfonia?

In Episode 10, we saw a change in the relationship between each king and their aide. Rita also got somewhat closer emotionally with Morfonia. I believe the guard around Rita’s strained psyche has lowered a little. They won't have a heart-to-heart conversation just yet, but the distance between them has been shortening since. In real life, we are becoming closer friends as well, that will sure be a positive influence to our interaction in the story.

On the other hand, Kaguragi has a lot of mature bargaining that hide his true intentions with characters like Racules and his younger sister Suzume.

Kaku: It is fun to bargain with Racules. Yano-chan put his predictions of the future in his performance, I too kept that in mind and considered many aspects in my own. Suzume is both cute and a strategist, I find her duality interesting.

What if your character goes on a summer break?

Ikeda: Jeramie would sleep through it, wouldn't he? "What I thought was an afternoon nap, took a whole year. Happens to anybody." He did say that once... When he wakes up, it'd probably be winter. (laughs)

Everyone: (laughs)

Kaku: Kaguragi is a festival man. He'd for sure host a big summer festival in Toufu.

Hirakawa: Rita would just marathon "Together with Moffun", wouldn't they?

Kaku: Absolutely! Rita would rewatch every episode up to now.

Hirakawa: There are 4000 episodes, it'd be a miracle to finish it before the end of summer (laughs).

(laughs) Moffun is not slowing down with his merchandise release either.

Hirakawa: It's amazing, isn't it! Without a word you grew interested in its shape and voice. It's just that Rita's imitation is a little different though...

I think Rita's imitation of Moffun is adorable! At the end, please tell our readers the highlights of the movie.

Hirakawa: Surely it's being able to see a new side of Rita different from the one we know so far. Even the details in the background carries meaning, I would love for you to see it on the big screen, and two or three times if you can!

Kaku: The movie is presenting a whole new world, with imagery much grander than the ones in the TV series. The characters will face their pasts, and the audience can learn more about them as people. This is the part I find myself enjoying.

Ikeda: In a trip to the Land of Death, there is much to think about on each of the king's attitude and way of life. It adds another layer to the world of King-Ohger too. Please look forward to the movie.

Thank you very much!

映画『王様戦隊キングオージャーアドベンチャー・ヘブン』平川結月さん×佳久創さん×池田匡志さんインタビュー｜リタの新たな一面とカグラギの過去――死の国で王たちが向き合う因縁とは？

2023年7月28日より公開中の映画『王様戦隊キングオージャーアドベンチャー・ヘブン』（映画『仮面ライダーギーツ 4人のエースと黒狐』と同時上映）。

シュゴッダムで始まろうとしていたギラの戴冠式。ヤンマ、ヒメノ、リタ、カグラギら各国の王が一堂に会し、新国王誕生の瞬間を迎えようとしたとき、“死の国=ハーカバーカ”の案内人・デボニカが現れ……。ジェラミーも加わり、ギラたち6人が未知の世界で大冒険を繰り広げます！　

アニメイトタイムズでは、シュゴッダム新国王の即位と映画公開を記念して、キャスト6人へのインタビューを2回にわたってお届け！　

本稿では、リタ・カニスカ／パピヨンオージャー役の平川結月さん、カグラギ・ディボウスキ／ハチオージャー役の佳久創さん、ジェラミー・ブラシエリ／スパイダークモノス役の池田匡志さんにお話を伺いました。

中村獅童さんから威厳と強さを感じた

――映画『王様戦隊キングオージャーアドベンチャー・ヘブン』がいよいよ7月28日から公開されます。

リタ・カニスカ／パピヨンオージャー役平川結月さん（以下、平川）：今回のリタは今までにない新たな一面を見せるので、映画の撮影は最初から最後まで新鮮でした。

カグラギ・ディボウスキ／ハチオージャー役佳久創さん（以下、佳久）：映画では、カグラギの過去に触れるシーンもあります。今後の彼にとっても重要な話になりそうです。

ジェラミー・ブラシエリ／スパイダークモノス役池田匡志さん（以下、池田）：エキストラの方々と一緒に撮影した戴冠式は、これまで以上に華やかで壮大なシーンになりました。

――デボニカ役・佐倉綾音さんをはじめとしたゲストキャストの方々も非常に豪華です。

池田：佐倉さんは、声の響き方が全然違いました。2人でお話したとき「王鎧武装」を実際に言っていただいて痺れました。

――佐倉さんの「王鎧武装」は格好良い雰囲気なんですか？

池田：迫力がすごくて、とても格好良かったです。

佳久：王様たちはクールに決めるからね。

平川：私は直接お会いしていない方もいるのですが、ライニオール役の中村獅童さんからは、そこにいるだけで威厳と強さが感じられました。現場が引き締まり「映画が始まるぞ！」という良い意味での緊張感が生まれていたと思います。

――映画ではついにギラがシュゴッダムの王になります。撮影開始からギラを演じる酒井大成さんの変化や成長を感じることはありますか？

佳久：公の場で緊張しなくなってきていますね。本人は今でも「緊張する」と言っていますけど、徐々に楽しめる余裕が出てきたんじゃないでしょうか。

平川：私は映画の撮影でド緊張している大成を見ちゃったけど（笑）。

佳久：ライニオールとのシーン？　　

平川：そう！　唇が紫だった（笑）。「死の国だから役づくり！」と言っていたけど、普通に緊張していたと思います。彼は最近、可愛いキャラを受け入れてきているんですよ。

池田：僕は追加戦士で途中から参加したので緊張している時期を見たことがないんですけど、可愛くなったのはとてもわかります。

平川：以前は可愛いと言うと「そんなことないよ！」と言っていたけど、今は「うーん……」って（笑）。

一同：（笑）

池田：どこか嬉しそうだよね。

夏休��中のリタは「もっふんといっしょ」を一気見する!?

――TVシリーズについても聞かせてください。第16話「10才の裁判長」では、リタの過去が明かされました。

平川：リタが抱えているものを、観ている方にも感じていただける内容だったと思います。過去を通じてリタの覚悟や責任感を再確認しましたし、大きな謎である「神の怒り」についても進展があったので、今後のTVシリーズに影響していきそうだなと思います。

――リタと側近であるモルフォーニャの関係性についてはどう見ていますか？

平川：第10話「伝説の守護神」で、各国の王と側近の関係性が変化するシーンがありました。モルフォーニャとも心の距離が若干縮まり、リタが張っていた心のバリアが少し減ったんじゃないでしょうか。話し合ったわけではないのですが、自然に距離感が近づいていると思います。リアルでも仲が深まっているので、作中の掛け合いにも良い影響が出ているはずです。　　

―― 一方でカグラギは、ラクレスや妹のスズメと本音を隠した大人な駆け引きが多いですね。

佳久：ラクレスとのやり取りは楽しいです。矢野ちゃん（ラクレス・ハスティー役・矢野聖人さん）も今後の展開を予想しながら演じていて、僕もそれを受けて色々考えながら演じています。スズメは可愛らしさと策略家の顔があって、その二面性がとても面白いと思っています。

――TVシリーズの今後も非常に楽しみです！　ちなみに、もし自��が演じるキャラクターに夏休みがあったらどのように過ごしていると思いますか？

池田：ジェラミーは寝ているのではないでしょうか。「昼寝のつもりが1年経ってたなんて、ザラさ」と言っていたので……。多分起きる頃には、冬になっていると思います（笑）

一同：（笑）

佳久：カグラギはお祭り男だと思うので、トウフで盛大な祭りを開催しそうです。

平川：リタは「もっふんといっしょ」を一気見するのではないでしょうか。

佳久：確かに！　これまでの話をおさらいしてそうだね。

平川：4000話もあるから、夏休みで観終わるかは怪しいですが（笑）。

――（笑）。もっふんはアニメやグッズの展開も盛り上がっています。

平川：すごいですよね！　何とも言えないフォルムと声がお気に入りです。リタが真似しているのは少し違うのですが……。

――リタが真似するもっふんも可愛いと思います！　最後に公開を楽しみにしている読者に向けて、映画の見どころを教えてください。

平川：やはりこれまで見せていなかったリタの新たな側面を楽しみにしていただきたいです。背景の細かい部分まで意味が込められていて、大きなスクリーンで観たら、吸い込まれそうになるくらい物語に入り込めると思います。時間に余裕があれば、2回、3回と観てほしいです！

佳久：映画では全く新しい世界が登場して、TVシリーズ以上の壮大な映像が見られます。キャラクターが過去の因縁に向き合うシーンは、それぞれの深掘りにもなっているので、個人的にも観るのが楽しみです。

池田：死の国へ行くことで王様たちの在り方や生きる意味など、色々考えさせられることがあると思います。『王様戦隊キングオージャー』の世界をより一層楽しめるので、ぜひご覧ください！

――ありがとうございました！

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