Visit Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Fun Fact
There's almost an equal split between the sexes on Tumblr - 51% male, 49% female.
Trending Blogs
#shattered

There is pain, and then there is this. God, what is this?

Certainly not a stubbed toe. No, not that.

0 notes

Imperfectly perfect that is who we were

You and I

Held together by painful life experiences

Yet we weren’t trauma bonded

I saw you for who you were and I loved you

You saw me as a mirror of your trauma

Perhaps you were trauma bonded to me

I wanted for both of us to do the healing together

But we both couldnt steer the course of our healing journeys if only one of us knew how to navigate the ship; so we sunk…

You depended on me too much

Needed me too much

You needed me to tell you how to live

I was proud

So I began to fix you, neglecting my own needs and desires even as I pressed on ensuring myself comfort at the end of the day; we will be stronger together

But I couldn’t keep my tea kettle full when you took all I had; you were all I had

You took all I had left

Every last drop

and then you shattered me

Tiny fragments of pieces of me strewn across the floor

You would walk over them as you left

Left me to pick up the broken pieces of myself

Once again

Once again I have to pick myself up again

Once again

1 notes

Now that its been a little over a month since @zu-is-here dark cream story ended- I couldn’t help myself and made a darker..alternative ending. I’m sorry for anyone that reads the rest of this— This song brought a lot of inspiration for this, so if you’d like to listen to it while you read go ahead. Here it is ;)

Screaming.

Dream inhaled sharply as he opened the door leading to the one he’d been searching for all this time, barely taking note of anything before he was taking steps toward his brother; each step laboring his insticts as he tried to speak, his mouth hanging open as his brother turned to him.

“..are you going to kill me?..”

Dream tensed, nervously picking at his gloves as the question was so boldly presumed. The answer came easily to him. No, he wasn’t here to blindly murder night, not now that his senses had been restored…

Why was he hesitating?…

Why- why the hell was he hesitating?! The answer was so easy! This wasn’t how it was supposed to go he was just supposed to talk with night they were supposed to FIX this soWHY—-

A dull pain flared at his hand, momentarily releasing him from the confines of his mind back to here, this moment. His fingers tightened ever so slowly around his brothers throat, the pain of nights fingers scratching against his hand dulled..distant and delayed.

Dream found himself staring down at night as his brother crumbled under the strain, a soft laugh escaping the twin even as he coughed and struggled to survive “..how the tables have turned..huh?..”

It was only after his hands were empty save for specks of dust that he started panicking, scrambling for any sense of humanity left within himself to justSTOP—

Outside, killers hands began to tremble from where they were placed petting over the cat at his feet. Eyes blank as scarlets of black dripped down his face, didn’t even know what he was doing before he was up, storming towards the same door dream had previously walked through. He wrenched the door open, obscenities flowing before he slowed to a stop as his eyes focused blearily on night as he stepped up to him. He watched, slowly relaxing as night gave him a soft smile, one he only had the permission to see and chuckled as he went to pull night closer to him.

..the spiked tendrils didn’t hurt, even as they pierced through his skull and body. He didn’t think anything would ever hurt as much as the tears dragging along the endless sea of black as the vision of night broke away to reveal shattered who grinned at him, humming as he kicked his body out of the way. It didn’t matter. He’d die soon anyway..at least he’d be able to see night..one last time.

Shattered walked along the halls, tendrils lazily following behind him as he searched out his love, thumb idly running over the dust covered ring over his glove. He found cross easily enough, found the task of killing him even easier. A simple illusion of hi- of dream was all he needed to break him, he could still feel the clinginess of tears against his chest as cross shouted at him before he died..shouldn’t he be upset about that?.. It didn’t matter.

None of it mattered.

Dream trembled, clawing desperately at the sea of black around him, taunted endlessly by his fr-..by the ones he killed. Visions of his brother clawing at the last stretches of life, killers heartbroken expression as he crumbled to dust..crosses hoarse screams as he tried to convince dream that it would be okay. He couldn’t take it. He couldn’titwastomuchhE—

Dream screamed until he couldn’t anymore, clawing at his eyes as he warded the visions away but they never stopped, never ceased his torture even as his finger bones broke from the constant scratching, even as his skull shattered beyond compare even as his own darkness warded against him..they never stopped.

Shattered sat in the corner of the burning multiverse, millions of au’s crumbling around him as he tried to cease the screaming, the crying the pain. His numbed fingers scratched at his soul in vain to kill himself and finally end it all..but to no avail.

This was his curse. To live on in the void of his own destruction, insanity twisting and twisting andtwistinG. Even as he became a mess of himself, body nothing more than broken pieces endless putting itself back together. Even as shattered as he was..he couldn’t break.

28 notes

Self doubt sucks in such a mysterious way

You know the truth

But the feeling creeps it’s way from your toes and into your brain

When all you know of yesterday comes slamming back in

And you never feel like enough

Or you don’t feel like you’re loved

Or you compare yourself to someone else in ways you shouldn’t

Then all you feel is dread and wonder if moments were ever really felt

Or if it was just you

And everything is one sided

The thoughts won’t stop

Your world starts imploding

With every crack in your mind

The careful world you’ve built

Shatters

4 notes

“Fragmenting Her”

Her mirror is broken,

Reflection split and fractured,

The person she is battered.

Fretfully mending chasms,

Like scarlet-streaked flesh…

When sealing silvered scars.

Some forgotten pieces,

Twinking, tumbling

Like tear drops gliding, glistening.

Hands clenching, knuckles whitening,

As those seemingly small pieces…

Shatter!

Resounding scream to follow,

Soundless and deafening,

Like the draping darkness.

Mindless in self-mocking,

Caressed by immortal shadow,

Sputtering hope dimming, fading.

Time drags and passes,

Self love becomes clouded,

Hopelessly… cradling, soothing what’s left.

She wonders…

Will dropping the mirror…

In dreadful decimation…

Finally end it all?

6 notes

TW - Mention of Alcohol and Su*c*de

Guess who got fucking tipsy and wants ta die? This fucking depressed bitch. L m a o !

7 notes

My worst fear is feeling like my heart has been shattered all over again. I just want to find out where I belong, and who I belong with. I’m tired of feeling like I’m simply existing, not living.

My worst fear is feeling like my heart has been shattered all over again. I just want to find out where I belong, and who I belong with. I’m tired of feeling like I’m simply existing, not living.

My worst fear is feeling like my heart has been shattered all over again. I just want to find out where I belong, and who I belong with. I’m tired of feeling like I’m simply existing, not living.


image

View On WordPress

0 notes

“Tal vez deje de escuchar los gritos de la vida y me concentre en los susurros del universo y quizás olvide que tengo un corazón, que olvide que tu habitaste ahí, podría ser que esta noche olvide tu nombre, tu aroma y tu voz”.

Shattered

30 notes

Steven’s mind was foggy, how long had it been? 3 days,,2 weeks? He didn’t know. As he stared at the fire he had prepared, he realized that his glowing hue didn’t bother him much anymore, he had been glowing almost continuously since he reached Jasper’s hideout.

Speaking of Jasper, he heard a gruff voice call from behind him. “You won’t believe how hard it is to find good rocks around here.”

Forcing back a chuckle, Steven offered. “I can go find some if you’d prefer, we might be able to get more that way,” he enjoyed listening to the gem’s rantings about small things like grass, and good rocks. “I can tell you like sturdy, circular rocks to use to train with.”

“How about I throw one at your face,” she huffed a response, resting one of her elbows on a stone as she pointed at him. “Remember, you’re here to ‘train’ *not* pity me.”

“Okay sorry!” This caused a light chuckle from Steven, turning back towards the fire, he asked innocently. “So, what’s the plan for tomorrow.”

Jasper was about to reply when a circular light appeared suddenly in the clearing, causing Steven to duck inside his lean-to. /Oh no,,,please don’t let it be Lion…/

It was Lion.

“Jasper!” A girl’s voice called. “Hey, Jasper, can I ask you a question?”

“You just did,” Steven could tell from the tone of Jasper’s voice that she didn’t want to speak to the girl, who Steven knew was Connie. She was the only other person who Lion allowed to ride him without Steven.

“Please, Jasper,” Connie’s voice was strained with emotion. “Steven has been missing for months,,everyone’s devastated! We just,,we want you to let us know if you see him. Can you do that?”

Steven held his breath, he never told Jasper that he never told anyone where he was going! Jasper seemed to remember this too, as she walked over to the lean-to and kicked it. “You didn’t tell anybody?!”

/Is she..worried about them?/ Steven thought, before bunching his knees to his chin, looking up at Jasper. “It wasn’t that important Jasper..”

“it *was* important though!” She shouted at him, extending her arms for dramatic effect. “If you would have told them, then we wouldn’t have Earthlings at *my* base! I. don’t. want. company.”

“Jasper I-I’m sorry!” Steven’s glow brightened a significant amount as he stood up, he caught a glimpse of Connie, who looked horrified and angry at the same time. “If you want,,we could-”

“Steven,” Jasper warned. “If you think you’re staying any longer, you’re wrong.”

“Let me finish!” He growled, dust shaking out around him, the power he had gained over the past few months had been impressive. “I was going to ask if we could have our rematch, like originally planned. So that your time doesn’t turn out to have been wasted.”

Jasper thought for a moment, before backing up, pushing Lion’s shoulder. “Move Earthlings!”

“Hey!” Connie’s voice wavered, she was very clearly texting someone, her hands were shaking as her thumbs rose and fell onto the glowing surface of her phone.

Rolling his eyes, Steven taunted Jasper, remembering their first match since Era 3 began. “I’ll let you take the first punch.”

Smirking, Jasper charged forward, digging her fist into Steven’s shoulder harshly, sending the hybrid boy skidding on his feet a few inches. Clenching his fist, Steven didn’t even consider bubbling up his fists to protect his knuckles. Raising his fist, he went right for Jasper’s gut, pushing her backwards before launching himself into the air.

The fight droned on, one matching the strength of the other multiple times, Steven had forgotten that Connie was still around, or maybe,,she left? Shaking his head, he realized he couldn’t get distracted for a single moment longer. The battle had taken flight, one of Steven’s powers was the ability to manipulate the speed of his dissent, but through the training, he learned how to use the powers to project flight capabilities. While in the air, Steven had the high-ground, punching Jasper’s forearms repeatedly, he paused, flipping in the air and kicking her in the head, full force.

He watched as she plummeted down to the clearing, poofing on impact. Falling to stand beside her, he laughed. “Who’s weak now Jasper! … Okay, let’s get you out of the dirt, you can rest in your cave, and as promised,,,I’ll-”

As he was speaking, he was clearing the debris from the area to reach Jasper’s gem,,but there was more than one. Jasper only had one gem! How many gems did she beat! Picking them up, he noticed the fractures on all of them, that they were all the same hue, that they were all Jasper’s. 

Closing his hands around the shards and looking up, he tried to see if anyone was around. There, he saw Garnet, Amethyst, Pearl, Connie and Lion standing there. He could see Amethyst’s mouth about to open, most likely to make a snide remark about how he should have left Jasper alone, but he didn’t want to hear it now. Taking a few paces back, tears edging his eyes, he took off running, trying to get to the bathroom, the Beach House.

He ran for a good minute or so, not wanting to speed up, he wanted to feel horrible, shattering was a horrible thing! Noticing the circle of light appear beside him, he tried to push his legs further, to go faster.

“Steven!” Connie shouted. “Stop, running!”

He didn’t. He didn’t even look at her. “Is anyone else with you?”

Breathing a few times, hesitating, Connie admitted. “No, they’re on they’re frantic, and still at Jasper’s base…Steven, what happened?!”

Steven planted his heels into the dirt, skidding to a halt and falling backwards, pressing his closed hands close against his chest, not wanting to lose a single speck. Eventually, Lion stopped too, and Connie hopped off, sitting next to the hybrid boy and leaning on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.

“I..” Steven tried to find the words, falling silent for several seconds, repeating the single letter, and falling silent again. Suddenly, he felt a hot burning in his chest, as if his heart was squeezing. Tears rushed to his eyes, nearly blinding him for a few seconds as he wailed. “Oh Connie! I just wanted to get my powers under control! I thought Jasper could help!”

“Yea, I guessed that much,” Connie sighed dully, placing a hand on top of Steven’s, making his stomach tighten. “Why did you run off?”

“I didn’t want you guys to see her?”

“We already saw Jasper! We heard what you said about putting her in her cave! Why didn’t you-” Connie couldn’t even finish her sentence before Steven opened his hands, feeling Connie’s fall into his palms, over the shards. 

He didn’t need to say anything, she knew what was below her hands. Carefully, Steven flipped the three hands over, effectively transferring all the shards to Connie’s, and shutting her fingers gently over the gem. “Connie,,take the shards to the bathroom in the Beach House…there’s bottles of diamond essence in the cabinet, there should be some of my essence on the gem already..try to get her pieces all together, run the bath,” he paused, thinking. “And dump the bottles in, all of the essence.”

“Steven no..”

“Steven yes,” he replied, raising his hand to cut her off. “You have Lion, you can warp there, you can make sure the Crystal Gems can’t see the shards,,it would probably destroy them,” his heart was pounding, he could feel his gem in his mind, trying to find a way to get him to safety.

“What about you?” Connie sounded concerned for her dear, dear friend.

Steven took a few steps back, shouting as tears poured down his cheeks, dripping onto his chest. “I’m a monster Connie! A fraud! I, just, killed someone Connie! I can’t do this anymore..”

“Wait!” Connie jumped to a less-than-savory conclusion and tears formed around her bottom eyelids. “Steven you can’t-”

“I’m not,” Steven cut her off, realizing what his words may have alluded to. “I’m just going to hide in the forest, like all the other monsters.”

With that, he magic sped away, leaving Connie there.

~ ~ ~

It had taken about half an hour for the Gems to return home, but when they did, they heard muffled sobs coming from the bathroom. Pearl rushed to the door and opened it just a crack. “Steven?”

“N-no,” a weak voice responded, Connie’s hands and forearms submerged in the liquid.

“Why are you here Connie? What are you doing?” Pearl’s voice became gentle, yet concerned as she opened the door fully and stepped inside, walking over to the young swordfighter and settling down. Garnet and Amethyst following shortly after.

Connie rubbed her cheek against her shoulder. “I..I’m d-doing what Steven told me to..to do, but,” her throat tightened as she choked. “It’s not working!”

“What’s not working?” Pearl rested a delicate hand on Connie’s shoulder, looking into the tub and seeing the four diamond colors swirling in the tub, alongside their bottles, resting at the bottom.

Sniffling, Connie warned. “B-brace yourselves,,” as she slowly removed her hands from the tub, her wrists down to her fingertips were wrinkled like a raisin. Breathing slowly, she closed her eyes and gently opened her eyes, feeling the shards fall out into her hands. Hearing the horrified gasps of Steven’s family around her.

“Who did-” Amethyst began.

“Steven,” Connie finished, setting the shards gently on a bath towel she had prepared beside her, rubbing her eyes as she reached over to capture Pearl in a tight embrace. “That’s..that’s why he started running-!”

Pearl’s arms tightened around her as Garnet asked urgently. “Where is Steven now?”

“H-he said he was going to the forest..” Connie remembered his words like a nightmare. “He said he was going to the forest to be with..the other monsters.”

Nobody had anything they could say. But they didn’t need to, it only took a few seconds before Bismuth, Lapis and Peridot came warping in, shouting. “All hands on deck! We have a new threat!”

Fearful for the citizens and the students, the four of them hurried out of the bathroom, eyes red and puffy from tears. Peridot gave them a shocked look before stating in her frantic tone. “We..we heard roaring, and a,,a corrupted monster came barreling out of the forest! Bigger than any of the others we’ve faced!”

The Crystal Gems, and Connie, all exchanged looks, each having a solid idea of who the corrupted beast was.

1 notes

Soy un adulto pero aún quiero correr tras el viento, llorar desconsoladamente en el regazo de mamá mientras me dice que todo se cura con el tiempo.

Deseo gritar al cielo algo que tenga que ver con su hermosura, asombrarme por ver una mariposa sobre una rosa y que mi única preocupación sea una rodilla raspada".


Shattered

30 notes

I’m not sure how I would expect a pair of glasses to survive in these conditions

  If you want early access, tutorials on how I stage these photos or you just want to support what I do, then feel free to have a look at my patreon https://www.patreon.com/armymenaroundthehouse

Post
43 notes

I gave so much of myself to you I WILL NEVER AGAIN OPEN UP TO ANYONE IN THE WAY I DID WITH YOU.

image
5 notes

There are two options to why I’m crying right now:

I’m very emotional or I’m going to break a lot of hearts with Part 2 of Shattered 

5 notes