#then i thought about how we could've potential had that a while ago if it weren't for Scar's task in SL

[bigchumpus]

They bring me so much joy ┌(˵༎ຶ ل͟ ༎ຶ˵)┐

#saw some comments here and there about how this is the one time dd actually willing partnered together #then i thought about how we could've potential had that a while ago if it weren't for Scar's task in SL #AYYFBJUUYDFHKIEDHKOGG #THEN I realized I was pretty much dead the entire time on Tumblr #so have some secret life + real life :'D #grian #grian fanart #goodtimeswithscar #gtws fanart #desertduo #secret life #real life smp #traffic life #trafficblr #chump

[nczennie]

A drabble in which it can be hard to date idol Lee Know.

Featuring: Reader x Stray Kid's Lee Know Genre: Angst, Fluff Taglist: @dinonuguaegi

[22:51] with Minho

It's a rare occasion that Minho gets a day off but as the year ends his group is allowed some time off for the holidays. It's been a great day, spending it with Minho and his family at his parent's home.

You caught up with his grandmother and dad while Minho and his mom prepared what seemed like a feast in the kitchen. The snow had been slightly falling all day and Soonie had basically been glued to your lap.

But now night as fallen, you and Minho laid quietly on the bed in the dark. It was silent but your heart pounded in your ears.

Just moments ago, Minho had got a solemn call from his manager breaking the news that you and Minho were up for being the couple announced for Dispatches "New Years Couple."

Apparently, your secret movie outings and convenience store runs were not so secret after all.

His manager explained that the company is currently in talks with the "news" outlet about paying them off in order not to publish their findings.

Minho hears it every time this time of year. Different idols being "caught" and it being just a matter of what companies were willing to pay to keep the damage at bay.

But after he got together with you in the beginning of this year, he truly couldn't imagine it would be happening to him.

He hated it.

Hated that you both hadn't been careful enough, hated that you had to be careful, hated that nothing in his life could be private, and he hated that if this came out he wouldn't be able to stop what people were going to say to you.

There's been minutes of silence now and dread only continues to fill your stomach. "I'm sorry," you whisper out finally.

You can feel him turn to look at you, but you can't make him out in the darkness. "Don't." He replies.

"Don't apologize, you have nothing to be sorry for. I should be sorry. I hate that I could've just potentially put you in the spotlight." He murmurs. He knows how cruel some people can be.

Swallowing you whisper back, "I knew what could happen when we started dating." He doesn't reply because it's true. At the beginning of your relationship there was weeks of both of you deciding if the risks were worth it.

You both decided they were but now that the risks were coming to life it was much scarier than you could've imagined.

More silence passes but you can't get a thought out of your head.

"Can you promise me something?" You ask him. You hope it's not too much to ask, after all it's his career that faces a risk, but there's something that bothers you.

Minho hums in reply so you continue, "Can you please, no matter what happens, not apologize for this?"

You feel his head turn on the pillow as you continue, "There have been so many times where idols have to apologize to their fans for dating. Please, Minho I beg you, don't. You may be an idol, but you are a person first. You are allowed to date; you're allowed to have a normal life. Even if it's not with me, even if your fans are mad or hurt, please don't apologize for living your life."

Minho's hand finds your under the covers, intertwining them.

He decided then it wouldn't be so bad if the company isn't able to pay them off. He could live with the world knowing he was in love. He could still keep these private moments with you.

People could hate him, his group, even you but they would mean nothing because at the end of the day he has you in public, in private, in secret. He would love you no matter what.

"I promise." He squeezes your hand with confidence.

And he would never apologize.

Copyright © 2023 by nczennie. All rights reserved.

#mine #mh drabble #lee know fluff #lee know x reader #lee minho angst #lee minho fanfic #lee know angst #lee know imagines #stray kids fanfic #stray kids fiction #stray kids fluff #skz fanfic #skz x reader #skz

[xycuro-illuminati]

After reading the dmc 4 novel, I find it so interesting how Nero acknowledges that Dante is related to him, but doesn't question to how closely related they are. And honestly, I can't really blame him.

In the novel, it's mentioned by both Nero and Dante’s povs of them theorizing that Sparda, the demon that lived in the human world for many centuries, could potentially have other descendants other than his sons and grandson. It wouldn't be a huge stretch to think that a guy that walked on earth for sm years could've had other partners and families before meeting Eva. Nero also seems to not really care about how closely related he is to Dante, only that they're definitely descendants of Sparda.

I don't think Nero thought of them to be closer bc of how he was raised in an orphanage, along with the culture within Fortuna and how he feels like an outcast. When Sanctus told Nero about the white haired man (Vergil) visiting him all those years ago is most likely Nero's father, Nero didn't really care. It couldn't be Dante bc Sanctus knows who Dante is, while with Vergil, he was just a mysterious figure to him. Nero only cares about Credo and Kyrie bc they were the only ones there for him. He was abandoned as a baby, and while we know Vergil didn't know of his existence, we still don't know what happened to his mother. The chance that she didn't want Nero is still very much possible and throughout the novel, Nero kinda leans in on that idea (especially with the whole "Everyone knows everyone in Fortuna. It would be impossible to not find out if someone was pregnant."). Nero isn't one for blood (obviously) and as long as he has Kyrie, that's all he needs, which I find sweet that Nero has someone to fall back to for anything, especially after they've both lost Credo.

#dmc #nero #dante #vergil #tfw talking #as for dmc 5 theres already a bunch of posts analyzing nero's feelings on the revelation of vergil being his father #I feel like that not only is it a full confirmation to how closely related Dante is to Nero #but with how Nero knew Vergil as V and that his father was behind the entire Qhiploth disaster #hes gained more family now other than just Kyrie #Dante isnt just this distant relative hes Nero's uncle #and Vergil aka V aka Urizen is his father that started the entire mess along with having answers as to why Nero exists #its all laid out and discussed about throughout the entire Nero vs Vergil fight! #cant sleep dont worry about it

[akiyamastar]

Okay, here we go. Lingering thoughts I had about the Hands of Time season, and a character analysis of Nya and Kai Smith that accidentally happened in the process.

I was excited to watch season 7, considering Kai and Nya's backstories could potentially be brought to light, and they're my top two favorites. I was speculating on what we'd see in the season. Perhaps we'd see how the two managed on their own. We'd learn the truth behind their parents' backstories, where they've been, and their potential stance in the war 40 years ago with the Time Twins.

Nonetheless, while the season does introduce these elements, it doesn't dive deep enough with them. In a previous post, I talked about how they could have made the war more nuanced in nature so the Time Twins would have a better motive, leading to others having a reason for helping the "bad side" (hence, their parents being "traitors" for a good reason). It would've been an intriguing concept.

The tension in the scene when Kai confronts Ray was really good and one of my favorite parts of the season: it could've continued a running idea of conflict between the weight of what one believes in versus carrying on the legacy of one's parents.

However, the "traitor" concept was immediately thrown out over the course of a few minutes, which I found disappointing due to the suspense and build-up throughout the course of the entire season.

It left me wondering what the point of setting up such a plot point was. However, I do understand them not wanting to add too much complexity and simply making it a misunderstanding.

What bothered me more about the season was not this, though, but the lack of exploration of the impact of their parents not being there on Nya and Kai.

If you think about it more. The fact that Kai had to raise Nya alone is fucked, for lack of better words. They confirm they're teenagers in season 8, so they were extremely young when having to take care of the blacksmith shop and live on their own, and the two Smiths are close in age. The idea of Kai easily letting all this go without any confrontation, even if he's now realized that his parents were forced into blacksmithing for the enemy, feels uncharacteristic of him: they were never there when their two children needed them most. I was wondering why that emotion wasn't explored more in Hands of Time. 

It is true that it's not their parents' fault that they could not support them -- they were threatened and forced to work for the Time Twins at the risk of their children being endangered. However, this doesn't negate the fact that they had to manage everything alone at an abnormally young age.

Additionally, while Nya is more cool-headed than her brother, she still has the same sense of frustration toward similar things, even if she tries to dial it back. The whole thing with Samurai X was bothering her during the season, leading to her being more distracted by that. Still, she does have a tendency to enjoy picking things apart, and I feel like she would normally have been invested in figuring out the logo on the helmet. She’s also someone who has strong beliefs, and I honestly thought she’d react more too, just like Kai did.

In general, I can’t imagine the two siblings not feeling inwardly torn about how they feel seeing their parents again after so long, even when confirming they’re not traitors, considering the psychological effects of being estranged from them for so long.

From how long they were on their own, it’s also no wonder the two siblings have developed the same tendency to be hard on themselves, wanting nothing more than to be strong and self-reliant. Consequently, they’ve developed an abnormal vigor toward self-improvement.

For Kai, this is expressed more outwardly with his anger towards not being "powerful" or "good enough". There's also his stubbornness in wanting to be the “chosen one”, although this is more present in earlier seasons when the green ninja was undecided. While he's gotten better, this internalized envy does come back to bite him. In current seasons, Kai’s main issue stems from his powers making him either feel too confident or not confident at all. When he doesn’t have his elemental powers, he falls into a slump and is worried about being weak.

For Nya, her need for strength is somewhat expressed more inwardly, with her wanting to build up her strength and not rely on anyone. This is shown by her reluctance to let Jay into her heart due to the fear of being undermined, the way she secretly builds up Samurai X’s persona and trains on her own, and generally her hesitance in being part of the ninja versus standing confidently alone, preferring to be independent. Especially considering she was once kidnapped by Garmadon, I bet that event was traumatizing for her and may have made her feel that she can’t afford to be a “liability” ever again. She does try to act more rational than Kai, but it's clear that she has the same impulsive, "I need to be strong" nature.

I was expecting more feelings of inner turmoil towards seeing their parents again, and maybe even anger, because where had they been all their lives? Why weren't they present as parental figures to the point that they didn't even know if they were alive or not? I did want to see the emotional clash drawn out better.

In the end, I also felt that we're still left with many unanswered questions that make the Nya and Kai focus season, which could've had a lot of potential, appear weaker when addressing the core elements of their backstory.

I love both of them a lot and I enjoyed the season regardless. Even then, the topic of their parents does make me speculate about the details of their childhood, and the lasting effects their separation had on the two siblings, only having each other as family.

#ninjago #character analysis #kai smith #nya smith #Me when I write a dissertation over a kids show #hands of time #kai ninjago #nya ninjago

[real-total-drama-takes]

I submitted a take a while ago saying how I would do all stars as a full season, 20 contestants, aftermath episodes, ect. So here's how I'd cast it and why.

Gen 1 (10 contestants):

Beth - not only does she have a lot of unused potential, she was a finalist. She has a lot of knowledge of other characters as well as relations with many of them.

Cody - final three in world tour, plus he's a fan favorite. Could work for a lot of friendships and alliances.

Courtney - we're obviously going to need the whole love triangle here. Courtney is super strong, a controversial character, brings TONS of drama, goes far in every season (well, except 1), so she's an all-stars necessity.

Duncan - again, love triangle. Also a controversial character with tons of drama. And made it really far in every season.

Gwen - love triangle! Super important character and tons of drama like the previous two.

Harold - the star of action, great character relations to be used, just a good move to have in all stars.

Heather - the classic villain who competes every season. Made it to final three twice and about halfway through the game in action.

Leshawna - I can't believe they didn't bring her back. She's always reliable for mixing things up, has strong friends and stronger enemies, and was totally robbed every season. She's a fan favorite too.

Lindsay - underestimated fan favorite. Plus, she could've made so many new relationships because she NEVER got to make new friends and that's unfair. I love Lindsay. I wouldn't make her the first boot either.

Owen - again, can't believe he didn't make it. He's THE fan favorite. As well as the in-universe fan favorite. A fun filler character. Definitely needed.

Gen 2 (5 contestants):

Anne Maria - since I'm doing a lot of fan favorites, Anne Maria has to come back. Also, it is assumed that the contestants of TDAS came back willingly (Gwen said she only came back for Courtney, Duncan only came back for Gwen, ect.). She wanted that money BADLY. She would totally come willingly.

Brick - potential, fan favorite, best character no doubt about it I just really like Brick WE NEED BRICK.

Jo - totally could've badassed her way through. Jo is strong, arguable, and has drama potential.

Lightning - he's Lightning why wouldn't he be here.

Scott - a villain, he just better not be used dumbly this season.

Gen 3 (5 contestants):

Amy - where Sammy goes, Amy follows. She could play an excellent villain role and has potential to be used as Heather’s sidekick. Personally, I think Heather would use her and it would totally work.

Jasmine - strong, competitive, everything you need for an all star.

Sammy - she had SO MUCH potential. I literally thought she would be a Pahkitew finalist when I first started watching. She’s resilient, she’s dramatic, she’s all-star-tastic!

Shawn - finalist and could definitely be used again. Also a fan favorite.

Sky - finalist, strong, I could see her fitting in with Gwen and Leshawna. She could definitely rival villains really well.

Why I didn’t cast certain characters (excluding self explanatory ones):

Alejandro - I think it would be great if he just was in the aftermath. And he fought his brother about Heather in the aftermath. And he would be salty about being in the aftermath. Yeah.

Bridgette and Geoff - they are the aftermath hosts and I’m doing aftermath episodes! If I wasn’t, I would probably cast one of them in place of Harold or Cody or something.

Cameron, Mike, and Zoey - honestly I don’t think they need to come back. I don’t want the whole Mal thing, either. Their plots were all pretty resolved as of Revenge of the Island. And they kind of ruined Cameron in All Stars???

Dakota and Sam - I just don’t think they need to return I don’t know why Sam returned but if Dakota and Sam made out in the aftermath to rival Bridgette and Geoff I think it would be really funny.

Dave - I hope he died on the island uh anyways.

Dawn - a fan favorite and probably could be used again, but nah. She doesn’t have enough potential.

DJ - he’s a fan favorite, however, he doesn’t bring that much drama with him. And didn’t exactly make it very far in most seasons. I would make him very important in the aftermath, though.

Ella - she’s a fan favorite and fun and everything, but she just doesn’t have very much drama potential.

Izzy - I think she’s been on enough. However, I would include her in challenges as a little treat.

Justin - while he’s a fan favorite and a fun character, he didn’t do anything. Not even in action. I swear he was supposed to be a villain but he just wasn’t??? Plus, I think he wouldn’t ever come back to Total Drama if he could help it.

Max and Scarlett - first off, Chris wouldn’t let Scarlett back on the show if he himself got a million bucks. And I hate Max he can die anyways.

Noah - I know he seems like he should be one of the self-explanatory ones, I think Noah has a lot of potential. But that potential isn’t canon. And he probably wouldn’t compete if he didn’t have to.

Sierra - she’s not a fan favorite, at least from what I know, and I want her to be separate from Cody. She really doesn’t need to compete again.

Sugar - I think she’s like a Geoff kind of character- did one season good and never competes again.

Trent - I KNOW I KNOW I think him coming back would be good, but I think it would be even better to have him in the aftermath. He doesn’t need to compete anymore, but I would rather see him being really major in the aftermath episodes and with Bridgette and Geoff.

.

#total drama #long post

[neuroticbookworm]

Step by Step: Good writing must not be this confusing

Disclaimer: I hated every frame of Step by Step Episode 11, so what follows is basically my stream of consciousness that is currently raging against this absolutely maddening piece of TV. I am truly happy for the people who are still enjoying the show, so if you don't want to read biting criticism about something you enjoy, do not click on "Keep reading". Have a nice day/night!

This show would've eaten my sanity away long ago if not for my conversations with @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan, who help me make sense of my anger and frustrations towards this show and form them into coherent thoughts.

I'd pulled punches in my meta on last week's episode and only critiqued the way the writing was lacking and how a few additions could've elevated the show. And when I clicked play today, I was still a teensiest bit hopeful that the show might turn around and surprise me. Oh boy, was I mistaken.

Read more thoughts on this episode from @waitmyturtles here and @lurkingshan here.

At the risk of repeating my friends, I'm gonna keep my thoughts short and crisp. This show's pacing and cohesion have been suffering for a while now, but that was nothing compared to the mess we were subjected to in the form of Step by Step Episode 11. I am now fully convinced that the tail end of this show is so badly written that it is barely coherent. New plotlines were introduced and resolved in the same episode (this is not episodic writing, because the show does not call for it, this is just bad writing), any semblance of nuance in the PatPut narrative had been obliterated with plot developments that make no sense, and the episode was rife with comedic beats that felt so out of place that it felt like the episode was stuck mid-morph between comedy, drama, and romance.

I'm just going to leave you all with one scene from this episode that encapsulates this show pretty well, in my opinion. Pat called Put on the phone to ask for his help, while the marketing team and Jeng are huddled around him. Put pulls his usual bullshit and asks Pat not to kick him out of his life again.

Pat agrees and asks Put to apologize to Jeng for fighting, and Put refuses and tells Pat that Jeng deserved it. The camera then focuses on Jeng's face for a second, and I sat up in my chair, thinking that we might finally be shown some emotional depth in this episode.

Was Jeng feeling bad about putting Pat back in touch with Put, even for professional reasons? Does he think Put is right and feel insecure that he cannot protect Pat from all the vitriol? Is he worried that Put might still be trying to win Pat back? But before my mind can even finish following any of those thoughts, Pat abruptly cuts the call mid-conversation with Put. And just like that, that close-up on Jeng's expression and its potential meaning became null and void. Because Pat very clearly does not care what Put thinks anymore. And it completely invalidates all the reasons why Jeng might be feeling uncomfortable during this conversation.

This show very clearly wants to be cleverer than it is. It juggles multiple themes and drops all of them without a satisfying resolution. In this storytelling environment, the setups are meaningless, and the storylines have no satisfying ending. I will be watching next week to see how it all ends, but I will always mourn this show as one of the biggest could've-been-greats in Thai BL.

#step by step #step by step the series #step by step meta #jeng kittiphong #pat phakphum #man trisanu #ben bunyapol

[mythicalm0thii]

Writing the Skul and Val angst we were robbed of

When I finished book 15, there was so much potential for the arguments the duo could've had, especially since Val and Skul have such a father/daughter dynamic (Val going on her own worshipping the Faceless Ones)

THE FACT THAT DEREK FORGOT ABOUT SKUL'S TRAUMA WITH THE FACELESS ONES IS UNFORGIVABLE

so I'm here to fix that c: Valkyrie rested her arm on the table. "I'm glad that's over with." She murmured, as she reached for her half finished coffee. She turned around to take a glance at Skulduggery, who seemed to have a tension around him. "Are you alright?" She asked, straightening up to face her friend. "I'm fine, Valkyrie." Her eyes widened for a moment, his voice seemed to have a hint of hostility that stung like a bee. "No, you're not. Why are you angry at me?" He stayed silent, his body hanging over the door-frame. "Is this because I broke her hand?" She demanded, her voice sounding harsher than she'd realised. "Because she deserved it, lying about praising our dark gods." Skulduggery stiffened up, and then faced Valkyrie. "Your gods, Valkyrie. Not mine." She felt an anger rush through her, and she got up to face him. "You said you'd give them a chance." She spat, letting her anger speak for her. "Yes, and I gave them a chance when they ripped me apart over and over for. Eleven. Fucking. Months." He retorted, her own hostility spreading to him. Valkyrie clenched her fists, all she wanted to do was defend her dear children. "Well maybe if you hadn't KILLED one of them, they wouldn't have attacked you!" He stood up to face her, and Valkyrie was shocked by how tall he actually was in comparison to her. "I did what I had to do, they were killing innocent people! And they would've killed more if we hadn't stopped them." Valkyrie had a moment of doubt - would the Faceless Ones really hurt innocent people? She pushed that thought to the back of her mind, her fury lending her the right words that would sting the skeleton in front of her. "Well maybe they were right to do that." She murmured, under her breath. "What?" He asked, his voice one of stunned shock, and not anger. "I said." She spat, continuing. "That maybe they were right to torture you." Skulduggery tensed up for a moment, before relaxing with an eerie calm composure. He walked over to the door, and grabbed the handle. "S-Skulduggery?" She called out, afraid of what he'd respond with. He simply turned the handle and opened the door. "Skulduggery!?" She called out again, panic rising in her voice. "Well, I'm off to find another case. If you need help, I'm sure Supreme Mage Creed will lend you a couple mages."

And like that, the room was silenced. She could make out the slam of the door, and then the distant rumbling of a car, but other than that, Valkyrie's world was silent. The house felt suddenly empty, as the sting of her own words filled her mind and replaced her dulling anger. What had she done? She always ensured everyone around her that she was the same Valkyrie she'd always been, but would the "Old Valkyrie" done that? Would she have done that? Had she gone back on the promise she'd made, standing over the ragged body of a broken man? All those years ago, when she'd ventured into a dead world? She took a moment to think back to before that all happened, he'd obviously changed. A change that she'd forgotten, but a change nonetheless. The desperation she had to get him back, and now, for the first time in a while, she'd been faced with that same dread that she'd lost Skulduggery Pleasant, the man that she'd held as dear as her own parents. The only difference now is that when he walked out, it was his own choice.

His own choice, and her own fault.

#skulduggery pleasant #valkyrie cain #valkyrie #skulduggery and Valkyrie angst

[erdarielthewhumper]

A continuation of sorts to this, but works as its own story without context too

Whumpee: Meldie Tropes and warnings: female whumpee, elf whumpee, fantasy whump, wounds, infected wounds, dislocated shoulders, captivity Word count: 3,189 A/N: Okay yeah I know it's literally been a month since I wrote the first part of this story. I'm just a really slow writer and inspiration sort of comes and goes for me. Again, I have some thoughts on how this might continue from here, so if inspiration strikes, I may write more, but it's likely gonna take a while again. Sorry! ':D Also sorry for any potential grammar mistakes or typos, I just couldn't be bothered to proofread this (and also English isn't my first language but I began to study it like 10 years ago so I guess that excuse no longer really works...)

***

Meldie came to in the grey twilight before dawn. She was lying on her side on the ground, her wrists shackled together in front of her, mud all over her as though she'd been dragged across the ground to where she lay now. She'd been stripped of her weapons and armor and even her boots, left with only her undershirt, too thin for the chilly morning, and her pants.

She shifted, trying to get a better look at her surroundings, and immediately everything flared up in pain. Her body ached with bruises she didn't remember getting, the wound in her thigh felt as though it was on fire, and she had a splitting headache. A quiet groan escaped her lips.

"You awake?" whispered Irk'adl's voice by her ear.

"I wish I wasn't", she muttered back.

"I think they put us under some kind of spell, to keep us out until they could restrain us otherwise", she heard Captain Raghesh say. "Did they hurt you badly before that?"

"Not too badly", Meldie replied. She lifted a hand slowly to feel the back of her head, and her fingers met a patch of sticky blood. "Some fucker hit me in the head, though. Who's "they", anyway?"

"They wear Lord Serdin's colors", said Raghesh. "He was the one we were marching against. The coward. I would accept a defeat on a field of battle by the rules of honor and war, if defeat us they did, but this sort of thing... cruel and disproportionate, that's what it is. And it's not as if we were national troops of the Dawnsea Alliance, either, just mercenaries. The Westmountains lords employ mercenaries too. This kind of thing just isn't fair."

"They wouldn't be employing mercenaries for long if news of this got out", Irk'adl growled. It was well known that most established mercenary companies paid careful attention to what their employers did to the mercenaries fighting on the enemy side. Someone who treated the enemy mercenaries, who were only in it for the pay, after all, poorly, was not always a safe person to serve, either.

Meldie shifted so that she could look at the other two.

"I'm sorry I didn't notice them in time. If I had, maybe we could've gotten away", she murmured.

"You're not the first person whose mind has wandered while on watch. You won't be the last, either. We're all tired and hurt and nearing our limits, it was practically bound to happen", said Irk'adl.

"True enough", Raghesh said. "In any case, there's no use worrying about what-if-I-hads now. I say we should all get what little rest we can before they begin whatever it is they'll do with us."

Meldie didn't reply. She was exhausted, that was true, and despite the cold seeping from the damp earth into her body, she fell asleep quickly.

****

She woke up not too much later to being kicked in the ribs. Before she was conscious enough to react, she was dragged up to her feet, and had to use all her concentration to stay that way. Her head still hurt, a constant pounding headache that made her want to curl up somewhere and never move again.

At a glance she counted fifteen soldiers, their captain, and their mage. One soldier was dragging her forward, another doing the same to Irk'adl. The rest were arranged around two small horse-drawn carts.

On the cart closer to Meldie lay Captain Raghesh, he too looking dazed as though only just awoken from sleep. Beside him was the corpse of the soldier Meldie had killed last night.

A bit further up on the road was the other cart, with supplies - as well as the weapons, armor, and other gear confiscated from Meldie, Raghesh, and Irk'adl - piled on top of it.

There was a length of chain attached to the cart Raghesh was on. The shackles on Irk'adl's and Meldie's wrists were hooked onto it, Irk'adl first and Meldie behind her.

Meldie hoped desperately that the journey wouldn't be long. It was hard enough to even stand with half her weight on her wounded leg. She wasn't sure how long she would walk on it.

Sun was still hidden beyond the horizon, although the light was already turning golden, when they got moving. The soldiers settled into the standard march pace, the sort they could, and probably expected to, keep up the whole day. Normally it wouldn't have been any kind of issue to Meldie, but now she struggled to walk fast enough. She clenched her teeth against the constant pain, but knew it was only a matter of time before the wounded leg would give in under her again.

The sun rose. The light felt far too bright, adding a new layer of stsbbing pain to her headache. She closed her eyes and tried to walk blind, but it helped only a little.

On occasion one of the soldiers would poke her back with the tip of their sword and tell her to move faster. As if she could. She was already staggering forward as fast as her body allowed.

They hadn't been on the road for half an hour yet when her injured leg failed. She fell to her knees.

The jolt that sent up the chain made the horse pulling the cart halt for a second, but before Meldie could even think about trying to stand up again, someone urged it onward. Meldie cried in pain and surprise as she was pulled to her stomach and dragged across the ground by her chained wrists. There was no chance she could have gotten back to her feet now, not even if she'd tried.

She heard Irk'adl yell and growl at the soldiers. They merely laughed at her. Someone threw a small rock at Meldie's back.

****

The next time they stopped was at noon. Meldie was so dazed she hardly noticed it before she felt Irk'adl's hands on her shoulder.

"Meldie? Meldie! Are you alright?"

Meldie rolled over to her back and lay there, gasping. Her wrists and shoulders burned, she was bruised all over, her shirt and pants were dirty and torn, the skin beneath scratched raw. Somehow she had managed to keep her head up enough to avoid any particular damage to her face, but her eyes stung and her throat was dry from the road dust.

Irk'adl gathered Meldie into her arms, and pulled her closer to the cart where they were at least a little shaded from the sun. The soldiers had tossed them a half-empty waterskin, and Irk'adl helped her drink from it.

"Fucking hurts", Meldie rasped when she could speak again, her eyes still squeezed shut.

"Bet it does." She paused and sighed. "I don't think we'll have much time to rest, we'll probably be on the move again as soon as they've eaten."

"Figures."

It was a while before Meldie opened her eyes. When she did, she saw Irk'adl's form beside her, and above them, leaning over the side of the cart, keeping an eye on the soldiers but now and then glancing down at Meldie, was Captain Raghesh.

The soldiers were settled a little further away on the soft grass on the side of the road. They were eating their lunch, and though they weren't deliberately slow, they also seemed to not be in too much hurry to get back on the road. They were confident and at ease; this was their territory, and they knew their captives had no chance of escape.

****

When they got moving again, Irk'adl drew Meldie close to her side. Wordlessly she placed one of Meldie's hands on her own arm. Meldie accepted the offered support with equally wordless gratitude.

It made the moving a little quicker, though still not quite as fast as the pace the soldiers would have wanted to keep. Exhaustion and pain were nothing new to Meldie, and she could struggle through them as long as Irk'adl helped her.

Apparently the soldiers cared more for seeing their captives suffer than they did for speed, however. After an hour or so, they began occasionally poking at Meldie and Irk'adl with their swords again. Irk'adl growled something at them in Orcish, and even chained and captive as she was and blinded in one eye, she was terrifying enough that they backed off for a while.

But eventually a few of them came closer again. They tore the two captives apart, and one made sure to kick Meldie's legs out from under her, too. Meldie fell flat on the ground, and felt the chains once again digging into her wrists and dragging her along the ground.

She felt the jerks and jolts as Irk'adl fought her own chains, but didn't look up to see whether she was trying to get to her or to the soldiers. It didn't matter, either way. Her efforts were in vain.

A couple of times Meldie tried to get back up on her own, but although the pace was slow enough for an armored soldier to comfortably sustain for hours, it was still too fast for her to get to her feet. On every failed attempt, she heard the soldiers' mocking laughter at her struggle. Finally she resigned herself to being dragged after the cart for the rest of the day.

****

They didn't stop until after sunset. Meldie didn't know where she found the strength to stand up and stagger after Raghesh and Irk'adl towards the place pointed out for the captives, but she did manage to make it that far. She all but collapsed to the grass next to them, too worn out to hold on to her pride or any pretense of strength.

She was in agony. Her shoulders felt as if they were on fire, and trying to move her arms was hell. She was sore, scratched and bruised, and somewhere in her struggles to get back to her feet she had torn some of the stiches of the not-yet-healed arrow wound in her thigh. It was leaking blood in a sluggish but constant trickle.

The others didn't look too good, either. Irk'adl's wrists under the manacles were chafed red, and despite her valiant attempts to hide her exhaustion, her shoulders were slumped and back bent as though under a heavy weight. Captain Raghesh was less exhausted from the journey, perhaps, but his skin was still ashen and his breathing at times labored, and his face was drawn with pain from his previous injuries.

"Fucking cowards", growled Irk'adl. "Wouldn't stand half a chance against us in a fair fight, and they know it."

"They want me alive. You two are just bonus, so you they can torment however they please. I've half a mind to try and steal a dagger from one of them. Take the one thing they were actually after from them", Raghesh said darkly.

"And how do you think that would help?" Meldie asked

"No, you're right. It wouldn't. I just wish there was something I could do." He sighed. "Look at what they've done to you, too. Your shoulders—"

"Dislocated. I know."

"I think I could put them back right", offered Irk'adl.

"They'll just do the same thing to me again tomorrow. I'd hate to waste your effort."

"They won't. Not if I have anything to say about it."

There was a dangerous fire in Irk'adl's eyes. Meldie wasn't certain how much there was that Irk'adl could truly do, but she appreciated the intent.

"Fine, then. You can try."

Irk'adl made short work of wrenching Meldie's shoulders back into how they were supposed to be. It hurt horribly, but it was done. Meldie slumped against Irk'adl, gasping from pain. For a long while she barely even registered anything besides the pain.

The soldiers tossed them a few threadbare blankets, a waterskin and some hardtack. They chocked down the food, not knowing when they'd next be fed, and wrapped themselves quietly in the blankets. Meldie laid awake for some time in a pain-filled haze, staring at the star-dotted sky far above. But eventually exhaustion won over pain and she slipped into dreamless sleep.

****

Irk'adl made good on her promise to not let the soldiers torment Meldie any more. She was tall, as orcs tended to be, taller than any of the soldiers, and she was no longer tolerating them. Whenever any of them dared approach her and Meldie, she bared her teeth at them and snarled something in her own language. None of the soldiers seemed eager to find out whether or not she could still manage to sink her tusks in their necks (as was said to be traditional method of fighting in the ritual combat of many orc clans) despite her chains.

The soldiers risked contact only long enough to chain Irk'adl and Meldie to walk after the cart again, but during the day, they left them alone. Meldie felt very bruised and sore, and each step seemed difficult to take, but at least she no longer had to worry about someone tripping her up for fun.

They walked through the day, and in early evening they came to the gates of a fortress. Just behind the main gates stood a handful of utilitarian grey stone buildings of varying shapes and sizes; barracks for soldiers, other living quarters, probably a laundry and kitchen and other such facilities, stables, blacksmith and weaponsmith workshops, and other buildings Meldie couldn't guess the purpose of. And, all things considered, presumably a prison of some kind. But past those buildings, the fortress walls, manned with guards, ran as far as the eye could see, up the hillside and further down the slope, and it was impossible to tell where they turned to join back together.

Meldie was too weary to even think anymore as the soldiers ushered them through the gates. She leaned heavily on Irk'adl to stay up, eyes fixed on the ground before her. They stood there a while as the soldiers apparently sorted things out.

After a minute or so, Irk'adl tapped Meldie's arm. Meldie looked up. In their immediate vicinity there were only people in military uniforms, and a couple of people in typical civilian clothing standing about, looking at them curiously. But past them, past the yard and out towards the hillside, near a few of the larger buildings Meldie hadn't been able to identify, they saw the prisoners.

Varying species, varying genders, varying ages, but all were wearing plain, dirtied and sometimes ragged prisoners' clothes. Most were in small groups, carrying tools or hauling apparently heavy carts, coming and going on a road that led somewhere up the hill. There were soldiers watching them, but not as many as one might have expected.

The prisoners weren't chained, either, but from their mannerisms and their clothes it was clear they were prisoners nonetheless. Occasionally Meldie thought she saw metal glint when they moved or bent over, but it was hard to tell from the distance.

At last some of the soldiers returned to them, and began leading them off somewhere. Raghesh wasn't with them, and Meldie wasn't sure where he'd been taken. But she and Irk'adl were herded towards one of the long, squat buildings with iron bars on the window slits and heavy doors and guards posted at the door.

Right inside the doors was a desk, and a uniformed soldier sitting behind it. He looked up when they were brought in, a flash of curiosity appearing on his face for a moment.

"A couple more stragglers", said one of the soldiers. "Don't think we'll be catching too many more, but we got the captain with 'em. Boss is keeping him, but these two are to be tossed in with the rest."

"Fine, let me see..." The man at the desk shuffled through a pile of papers. "Thirteen and Fourteen aren't full yet, so one to each." He picked up two piles of metal from somewhere behind the desk and placed them on the table. "You know the drill."

The soldier nodded. "Change the chains, let 'em wash the grime off, pick up new clothes for them."

Even as he spoke, some of the other soldiers began opening Meldie and Irk'adl's shackles. They picked the metal pieces from the desk and fit those in place of the chains; one heavy, cold metal band around the neck, and one on each ankle and wrist. There were no chains attached to them, but Meldie could just about see the runes carved into the metal. She had no idea of their meaning, but it had to be some sort of spell.

And then they were shoved away from the desk and along a corridor again. Warm steam hit Meldie's face as they stepped through a door and into what apparently served as the bathhouse. There were large vats filled with steaming-hot water along the length of the room, and smaller buckets by them.

She and Irk'adl were pushed to the farthest ends of the room, away from each other. At least, once that was done, the guards retrested a little, and gave them what little privacy was possible while still keeping an eye on them.

Meldie stripped off her torn and dirtied clothes and took a bucketful of water from the bearest vat. She knelt down on the stone floor to wash herself, not trusting her legs to carry her anymore.

The wound on her thigh, when her hand brushed it, felt hot, and the skin around it was an angry red. Dammit. As if things weren't bad enough already, without the wound getting infected.

Still, she washed herself as best she could. She wasn't completely clean, afterwards, but at least she no longer felt covered in dust and filth.

They were both given new clothes; a tunic and pants of rough, stiff and itchy undyed fabric. They were ill-fitting, and made to last a lot of wear more than to be comfortable. Of their own belongings the only thing they got back was their boots.

Then it was through more corridors, and up a few sets of stairs. The rooms they passed were walled with heavy iron bars. Rushes were scattered on the floors, and there were no furnishings aside from narrow wooden benches by the walls. The cells were mostly empty, though in a couple of them there were one or two figures lying on one of the benches, curled up with their backs to the corridor.

The guards opened two cell doors near the end of one hallway and shoved Irk'adl into one and Meldie into the one next to it. Meldie staggered to the nearest bench and sat down on it, leaning her back against the bars separating her and Irk'adl's cells. She heard Irk'adl's steps behind her and felt her hand on her shoulder.

"Well, if nothing else", Irk'adl muttered, "I guess we found the rest of the company."

"Fat lot of good that does to us", Meldie said. "We're trapped, and so are all the rest, and there's nothing any of us can do to get out."

"We'll see about that. I'm not giving up. Not yet."

---

@happy-little-sadist @whumperfultime @wolfeyedwitch

#whump #meldie #my ocs #my writing #fantasy whump #female whumpee #fem whump #elf whump #nonhuman whumpee #wounds #infected wounds

[traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors]

tw// religious and emotional abuse ment, swearing, bad (as in, bad praxis) psychologyst ment, self harm scars ment, suicidal ment. This is just an experience, like. I needed to share it with someone. No urgency

Three years ago, I tried going to therapy, but I am still living with my abusive family, so, while they agreed to take me (after a big intimidation session from their part), they got to choose my therapist. However, I think they took the recomentations of the other members of the congregation and took me to a psychologyst who always gives reason to the parents/abusers. He would invalidate every thing I said about parents, feelings, religion. One time, he straight up told me that, bc my scars were "really superficial" (tho, I literally got nerve damage from the injury), he was sure I was doing it for attention, and that I wouldn't "go further" bc wasn't actually suicidal and was just confused with my parents way of showing love. This was in the span of a month, too, like, this all happened in the third session. Fourth session he tried to use an hypnosis method to see "what was inside my heart" and then finally family said "Oh, maybe we won't bring you back here" bc of religious reasons opposing hypnosis.

So, for a while, I actually thought it was all something I had in my mind, something I was making up or overreacting to. Maybe I was just attention seeking.

That's it, until recently, after finally making friends, one day something triggered a flashback, and I broke down and started spilling all that happened in that time, didn't cry, but I was constantly running out of breath. And believe me, when this guy, this doofus (/affectionate) said "That wad fucked, wtf" I think something lifted. Like, actually freeing stuff.

And while I still think I need to see a good therapist, I think this actually gave me enough validation to start taking myself seriously. Idk, maybe I am exaggerating, but I swear this was changing, having someone validate what happened as more than "just a bad day years ago".

Hi anon,

I'm so sorry to hear about what happened. Please know that you didn't deserve any of that and that psychologist should absolutely not be in practice. I wish you could've seen the look on my face when I read about what he said and did to you.

I can understand how an experience like this, also informed by the people you unfortunately grew up around, has potentially shaped the way you view yourself. But please know that your pain and experiences are real and valid, and you're not making it up or overreacting.

I also think it's worth considering that there's too often a stigma around the idea of being attention-seeking, because while many people may use it to refer to destructive behavior done for some kind of sympathy, even that would indicate that the person needs care and not ridicule. Even if this was attention-seeking behavior, you still have valid issues that deserve addressing.

It can definitely feel validating and freeing for someone to acknowledge how messed up your experiences were, especially if it's hard to acknowledge the severity yourself. I hope that this can be a step towards seeking the care and healing that you deserve.

I hope I could help and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw sui #tw sh #tw self harm #tw religious abuse

[kulekrizpy]

fixed stranger things season 4 finale

there was actually a lot i liked about this season! there was also i did NOT like

-russia plot should've been 3 eps at the maximum. come up with something for the adults to do after that

-hopper reunion should've been middle of the season. it was all build-up and so little payoff. i propose he and joyce land back in the states and learn el was abducted and the boys are missing. maybe murray figures out a way to track them. then joyce and hopper go to save their fucking daughter!! perhaps they are a day or so behind the boys, so they still get their little journey. or maybe they land somewhere else and converge on el's location

-after that, one, MAYBE TWO, eps before the NINA plot is resolved

-el and hopper deserved to be a family on screen. their relationship is important. and now even more so. they both understand what it's like to be imprisoned and tortured... they thought they wouldn't see each other again. why do the duffer brothers do this to me

-joyce and hopper could've gone on a date, had a stakeout that sort of counted as a date, something

-too much papa. mf should've been dead ages ago

-i think el deserved to kill him

-just wanted the whole group to be able to coordinate. and the adults to BE THERE AT ALL.

-nancy and jonathon should've been able to meet much earlier in the season to give them time to actually interact in the awkward state of their relationship. to talk...... this goes for a lot of characters. we stick thru the show for the characters, let us see them together!!

this ended up way long... more under the cut

-how do the parents of the rest of the kids still not know what's going on?? they should have some hint

-also erica snitching to the cops ?! cmon girl 😭

-chrissy and eddie were both acted so well. the duffers keep creating these great characters and wasting their potential 😭

-eddie cutting the rope and moving the mattress :| bad decision. i guess it was to buy more time but augh. yknow, if they'd had an adult with them..... (also still do not understand how the rope works. wonder if it was a reference to Rope Trick in D&D)

-any of the young adults walking away from each other in the upside down was a dumb move. i could barely concentrate on the contrived romantic drama bc i kept thinking "robin HAS to have stepped on a tentacle by now"

-when whatshisface was yelling about how chrissy wouldn't buy drugs, that she wasn't going thru anything bc she never talked about it, lucas should've had lines relating to his experience with max. that people isolate themselves and feel like they can't talk to the ones they care about. even if it didn't calm whathisface down, i think it would've been a good and true attempt, and it would've tied into the themes of the season

-when lucas punched out that hateful prick and was free, LUCAS' VOICE SHOULD'VE PULLED MAX OUT. if her favorite song works, why not a favorite voice?! he and el pulling her out together would've been so amazing...

-for that matter the decision to take off her headphones at all sucked

-in my opinion max's fate was far too brutal. jesus christ. she didn't deserve that. one broken arm would've been traumatizing enough. if it's for a plot in the future, they still could've made her blind since the process had already started. and i'm scared she is paralyzed. like, just. what the fuck man. hasn't she dealt with enough?!

-not to mention lucas and el watching that... :( i was stricken over that scene. too many tortured kids this season

-someone else could've died to complete the portal. not that i wanted more brenner, but what if they had utilized his character that way? maybe he comes after el (he sees her as his project, his life's work... her escaping while he still lived wouldn't be uncontested). maybe el actually kills him in place of vecna killing max, and the portal is opened anyway. then you could've had a vecna invasion as the finale

-this way you can still have el feel guilty and give her more development (max could be somewhat hurt, but add in killing brenner and completing vecna's portal and vecna has some great manipulation material for next season. "you're just like me eleven, you hurt the ones who hurt you and helped me complete my portal...")

-pacing was terrible. should've put the volunteer scene with robin and the cute girl in the beginning of the season, or at least before the climax. they left so many subplots going so long they had to resolve them all at the end, so it felt both packed in and much too long

-every scene was too long. it's like they were given all this time, and rather than make good use of it, they just stretched out the original hour-long plots

-gonna have an negative pavlov response to joyce wearing a hat now. i cannot explain how aggravating the russia plot was. every episode i thought "it MUST be over by now!" and then THEY DIDN'T EVEN LEAVE RUSSIA UNTIL AFTER THE CLIMAX OF THE SEASON. if it was due to a scheduling conflict they really should've figured something else out

-this show is about mommy issues. lean into it

-GIVE WILL AND MAX POWERSSSSS

-if there is not a flamethrower per person next season what is anyone even doing

#stranger things spoilers #kk watches stranger things #stranger things #stranger things season 4 #eleven hopper #eleven jane hopper #jim hopper #max mayfield #lucas sinclair #eddie munson #joyce byers #martin brenner #vecna stranger things #vecna/henry/001 #op

[emotionally-destroyed-soldier]

February 14th.

Stayed in this evening and ordered a pizza. Maybe not the most romantic valentine's dinner, but seeing as I can't cook and it'd probably be too risky to go somewhere I might be recognized, it can't really be helped. I don't think Fritz minds. After what he's been through I think he's glad to avoid a lot of excitement. He deserves something more romantic than pizza delivery, though. Maybe next year. But then, I think we both might be thinking, even if we try not to, about the fact that this isn't just Valentine's day. It seems like forever ago now. It could've happened in a whole other damn lifetime, on another planet. But there were popping streamers and noisemakers. Barbecue (Engie did that) and cake (Heavy did that. Pyro helped with the candles because of course he did.) It was the last time I saw Wolfie happy. Really happy, not a mask hiding something he wouldn't tell me about, not a mask like Spy's was but one made out of porcelain, getting more and more cracked every time I saw it. Cheer up, Doe. He always said that if I even started to say something. Don't worry so much. I mean he had bad dreams. He spent the night with me more often than I think anyone knows to this day. I think we both slept better like that because we were protecting each other, just like we'd promised. I thought they were about the war because that's what mine were always about and why would they be about anything else? That boyish sparkle in his eyes when he blow out those candles, like a kid surrounded by friends. Just turned 31, the world should've been his goddamn oyster and if I just stop my memory there... I really believed it could've been. That once this gig was over, Wolfgang Stahl and his crazy stupid luck would go on to be a world-beater. And I think... it's not fair. I can't do anything but fight. I mean I can fight and apparently help solve crimes but then, when I was actually me and not an altered copy of myself (jesus christ that will never not be weird to think about), that's all I could do. I was in a really dark place between the war and the job because I didn't have a fucking clue what to do with myself if I wasn't in the trenches. No reason to think it wouldn't be more of the same after. I didn't have that potential for a bright future, not like him. So why didn't the fucking machine hate me? Why'd he have to suffer so bad while I always went through fine, more or less? Nothing I haven't asked myself before. I could death spiral on these questions. But I'm trying hard. Things are a little bit better. I can look at his picture where I couldn't before. If I try real hard, I can think of h im and cut myself off before I start thinking of how it all ended. I can think of that Febuary day, him laughing with my hand on his shoulder, Archimedes pecking at the cake, even Fritz with a grin on his face. I wish I still had that picture. Not as much as I wish I still had him, but... damn, I wish I still had that picture.

#diary of jane #one day late because tumblr ate my first attempt yesterday ><

[willel]

WillEl + Henry's Connections

A week or so ago I ran a poll to see how other people felt about Will's connection to all this. Here are the results:

Seems like most of you are on the same page as me. For a while the "it was planned before the gate opened" was winning and that kinda surprised me. The result is still pretty close too.

With the release of the play, it gave me more thoughts about this. I won't be going into detail about the play but if you're still avoiding any details about it, you can skip this post.

Generally, the play revealed to us that this Upside Down thing has been going on for a while. Not just that, but the Mind Flayer has been playing a long game with Henry as his main pawn.

I'm not really sure what they're intending to say about Henry's involvement in all this, but I personally view it this way: The Mind Flayer heavily influenced Henry's mind leading up to him killing his family. There was a turning point where he could've overcome the Mind Flayer, but he gave into the urges and hasn't looked back since. Right now, Henry and the Mind Flayer are of one mind and body. Maybe that will change in the future, but as Vecna, I think this is pretty obvious.

That leads me to El's place in all this. We're told in the play that he, in a round about way, is the source of the rest of the kid's powers. His blood in particular is special and by injecting pregnant women with it, they will also gain power.

I'm on the fence about this as well, as I still believe powers can exist out in the wild, just nothing as ridiculously strong as Henry, El, or the rest of the children.

Anyway, Henry saw something in El that I guess he didn't see in the rest of the children. It brings me to wonder, was it Henry that saw something in El, or was it the Mind Flayer?

My idea is that: Henry and the Mind Flayer had entirely different goals but El was key to both of them. In El, Henry saw her potential and wished for her companionship to "reshape" the world to their liking. Was it her potential power? Was it her status as an outcast like him? Was it her creativity that couldn't be stifled by the sterile environment? (we haven't seen too much of El's art but I'm convinced she's a crafty gal)

In El, the Mind Flayer could maybe detect her sleeping power to tear holes between the realms. This is key to the Mind Flayer taking over our world and killing everyone after all.

Whether El lived or died, Henry and the Mind Flayer needed her and they eventually got what they wanted. A way to open the gates. A way to destroy/reshape the world to their liking.

And so, this brings me to Will. How does Will fit in all this? There are so many questions surrounding his kidnapping and possession so let's revisit them again one by one.

Pre-gate opening 1979: So here's the thing. Leading up to El opening the gate in 1983, I feel like we're lead to believe Henry (and the Mind Flayer) were completely cut off from the real world. No scanning or peeking in or anything. Just trapped in an alternate dimension. Eternal solitude. Enough to drive a mad man even madder.

Then when El accidentally opened the mother gate in 1983, I feel as though Hawkins changed forever. Even after the gate closed, I think the Mind Flayer and Henry could now see into the real world whether a gate was open or not. The ending of season 2 with the Mind Flayer overlooking Hawkins Middle School seems to support this.

HOWEVER, the play suggests the Mind Flayer could always peer into the real world and influence people. Specifically, despite there being no open gates, "possessed" Henry did not die and could be influenced and controlled from the other side.

So, this makes both the top poll options potentially true.

Maybe before the mother gate opened in 1983, the Mind Flayer already knew about Will and was waiting for a chance to kidnap him? The question would be WHY though?

The second option is Will wasn't in the picture until after the mother gate opened and he either became a target right as he left the Wheeler's home or right when he met the demogorgon face to face in the street. The question would still be WHY though.

My guess as to why? I believe leading up to Will's kidnapping, El was still the desired target. They had one gate open sure, but that would be suboptimal for a whole army. El's power to open gates was even more critical to obtain now that they could physically reach her again.

But it's not a good idea to pull all your eggs in one basket right? Maybe like Henry way back in 1950 something, Will as a person made an excellent puppet? His personality, his disposition, his emotional history and social outcastiness made him a perfect Henry sympathizer.

By that I don't mean Will is a Henry fan, but more that due to their similarities, someone like Will would be easy for someone like Henry to project onto. Possibly literally.

But that can't be it, right? We saw in season 3 that the Mind Flayer could pretty much possess and use anyone he wanted? I mean, he killed all those people to make the Meat Flesher but he didn't HAVE to do that. Or did he? Can only some people handle being possessed by the Mind Flayer? Is there some kind of special fortitude needed to make one a viable host?

The show writers have hinted out and outright stated that Will will play a big role next season, but if Will was nothing but a host, then why would that be?

There must be something about Will that puts as big of a target on his back as El. There must be something deeper in that brain of his that has Vecna and the Mind Flayer still chasing after him all these years later.

They're on the verge of winning and have a whole army ready to go... but for some reason Will is near the center of this conflict and may play a big role in this?

So yes. Those are my thoughts on the matter. Feel free to chime in if you like.

To summarize, I think El is/was their ideal candidate to help destroy/take over the world, but El is a sweet bean despite all the hardship she went through. Henry and the Mind Flayer created their own worst enemy.

Will is like their secondary candidate or something. They've either done something to him or still need him for something and that something is the big secret of all this. If they needed El to open the gate, then they needed Will for something else and who knows that that "something else" is.

#stranger things #will byers #el hopper #willel #henry creel #theory

[lydiathane]

Growing Up

The trek out of the armpit of Ilsabard wasn't silent, at least not at first. The gruff hum of a taxed engine filled the cabin as we bumped along the uneven hills in search of the main thoroughfare we'd rolled in on days ago, supplanting the need to make small talk with monotonous thrumming and occasional remarks about the rough ride. The vehicle was oppressive with a stale musk of blood, sweat, and sex, the accumulation of weeks of spotty bathing being held back by cold weather layers no longer. We've been living on a diet of tinned rations and dried foods, leaving a trail of refuse unceremoniously tossed by the wayside after every meal for some future archaeologist to trace our foolish path and scratch their head over what we could've possibly been up to.

We stalled true intimacy until it was no longer possible: just as the snowline began to vanish behind us, our beleaguered machine began to bear signs of its final collapse after being taken through hell and back in a most literal sense. We shuddered up one last foothill, and then coasted in freefall down the other side until we could rattle to a stop at the nadir. Nobody had to say anything. Arius lifted the hood and looked down with acceptance when our suspicions were confirmed:

"Dead," he declared without emotion.

"Lucky she got this far," I mused, and that's that.

We packed up what was left of our belongings, much lighter than how we set out, and pointed ourselves toward the faint tendril of smoke indicating civilization at least a few malms down the road, the final stretch giving us plenty of time to contemplate all the ways things had gone wrong. Broken, lumpy roads unfurled before us, painted dark by two slumping silhouettes trekking shoulder to shoulder with the sun glaring at our backs until the silhouettes grew longer and skinnier and somehow farther apart. Arius' beard had grown unruly and tangled into a greying nest, making for a formidable mask to cover his thin grimaces when I tried to lighten the mood on several occasions. The jokes don't sound the same now in the aftermath, and I suppose the precarious deal I made affirms that I'm not exactly the same, either. I guess I was lucky he could look me in the eye at all. I know what I am.

"What's the plan?" he asked me after an hour of silence marked only by the crunch of boots over loose gravel. My debts to the stoic carpenter who dug a hole to hell for me to be rebirthed in had been on my mind, certainly, but I'd started to let my mind wander to more dangerous territory: after all, I've owed my share of debts before, but far more unsettling than that was the potential of a future I actually wanted that was possibly already out of my grasp. I wonder, even now, if he was doing the same.

"The plan," I repeated slowly, drawing out the moment like I didn't already know what it looked like. Once I say it, it's real. I'd like to pretend that I was naive enough not to know what he really meant by that, but I owe him much more than a charade. I'm not the one slinking off the ship called Basilisk this time, cutting out while the crew sleeps off the hangover. I'm not jealously watching an ex-lover move on to something better while I sink deeper into self-loathing. It's time to grow up, Lydia. You've had hundreds of years to do it. "I think for you, it's pretty easy. You should go home to your kids. You've been gone a long time and I know you haven't exactly been writing letters. Let them know you're okay."

The outskirts of the city had been creeping up on us fast while my mind wandered, and after that it's the point of no return. When we set out on this impossible voyage, I never really thought I'd see the other side of it. Like all other parts of my unnaturally long life, I was sure I'd be able to skip the real ending, dodge the uncomfortable closure, and pretend it was never an option.

"And for you?"

"And for me?"

"I didn't do all of that for nothing, did I?"

"You mean to ask me if I'm gonna go throw it away."

His silence answers me perfectly.

"I owe you an absolutely fucking colossal debt. There's no amount of money I could give you -- I could spawn a hundred generations named in your honor, and it wouldn't be enough. This wasn't an average favor, it was a nightmare that just kept getting worse, and you carried me through it." It was the first time I'd been able to vocalize the building pressure in my gut after the rift closed behind us, but once it starts, I can't stop it. "I don't know how I keep running into good hearts like yours. I always dreamed of being that good, but it's always just out reach. I don't have the stuff it takes to make it come naturally. But you..." I turned to look at the side of his weathered face and found it illuminated in gold by the fading daylight. I couldn't help but laugh, but it's genuine now, untainted by caustic wit. "Even now, man. You're fucking luminescent."

Arius kept his dark eyes affixed at the rooftops that drew closer into view. One of those has a bed, a real one, the first we'll have seen in months. After that, there will be a ship in the harbor that he boards and it will sail him back to Kugane, where the dazzling red sunsets and fresh ocean air will make this all seem like one long delirium as he sweats me out in an eastern sauna. The memory of Lydia will fade like a bruise and become prettier until it's nothing at all. "I love you," I state plainly, without flourish, and without the expectation that I'll hear it in return. "Always will. I've already asked too much of you to saddle you with more of me, and the parts you'd have aren't the ones you'd want. But you knew that."

After a long pause, he nods as surely as he did when he saw the smoke coming off the engine. Dead. He slips his calloused hand into mine and we take our last steps into the real world that awaits. When he lets go, it's to pay for passage, and that's the last I ever see of Arius. I wish him the best. I'm growing up.

#lydia #arius #ffxiv #ff14 #to be continued

[sunshineandlyrics]

I saw "LouisTom" aka 'All Of Those Voices' this evening. Just a mix of thoughts which contain some SPOILERS ..

I haven't been to the movie theatre for about 2 years. The last movie I saw was either Parasite or Mulan live action. Only Louis could entice me back to sit in a public room surrounded by strangers for over an hour.

I really loved the behind the scenes in the studio, Louis talking about music and sharing FITF with his band, and all the interactions with his team. Lottie's comments shows how much she admires and loves Louis. The more you hear about Louis, the more you admire him.

The parts when Louis was talking about his Mum, and around Louis performing Just Hold On on the Xfactor were really hard for me. And Grandpa bless his heart.

Theo Hutchcraft really looks like a cool Vampire.

Oli is a gem. The most understanding friend and goofball mate anyone could ever want. I get why Louis has Oli with him all the time.

Mark Tomlinson quoted Louis saying something of an epiphany while during his Grease days (which reminded me of the Vanessa Hudgens' Austin Butler/Elvis epiphany).

One of my favourite moments was of Louis with his team on the yacht. The beautiful visuals, the chill, seeing some of the food, the band sharing their thoughts about Louis.

I heard Oli and Chris Frewin talking full sentences for the first time, and Oli's voice is not as I imagined and I understood him easier than I do Louis.

Louis has had to overcome his emotions and outside obstacles over his entire career. The documentary shows us the bumpy ride, from getting picked on Xfactor but dismissed and feeling insignificant, then overcoming that by contributing with his songwriting. He was shattered by the break, feeling lost on his career path, the family tragedies, then it's years to make his debut album, only for his tour to be hit by Covid, then tour starts again and his career is eventually on a roll. We already know the history but it's seen with some new insights. His Mum truly raised a man of good character.

The teary eyes didn't make me emotional for a few reasons and didn't make me change my mind because I've been here from the start of this stunt. Louis could've spent so much time between 2016-now (like during XFactor Judges), and especially during the lockdown with the kid but he didn't. Not even the dangerous Californian bushfires inspired Louis to visit the kid, and his team was like no comment on an article.

The scenes with the kid were cute but a bit awkward, and it raised more questions for me. Like why is Oli ALWAYS with them? Why didn't his family travel to America to see him more often if they miss him? Why does he hardly visit the UK, and only for the last 2 Christmases and the only clue of it was via the same pic we saw already posted by one of the sisters? Why is there a lack of unseens of Louis or his family with the kid from between 2016-2021? And the only baby pics were the ones taken in 2016 and already overused in the tabloids.

And my Dude, if 'it gets harder to leave the kid every time' and you get teary eyed talking about it, you should've gotten a lawyer to get full custody, or at least 50/50 years ago. Why does Louis need to travel 20 hours each time to LA for such little time with his own child? Also why none of his American family were with him backstage after the LA concert, just this other kid friend and a guardian (and remember the 'grandparents' and 'uncle' were there but sat separately from him, and potentially had to buy their own tickets to the concert).

It's funny hearing Louis being called both Lou-ee and Lew-is (Doncaster v non Doncaster people).

Given the amount of time I saw Oli and Louis spend with the kid and how they both interacted with him, it would not surprise me if it was later revealed that Oli was the Dad. That would explain why Oli hasn't spend more time in America with him, how the child hardly visits his family in the UK, why he hasn't hired a lawyer for better custody arrangements, because remember people, Oli's only on a PA's salary. And what the hell was that place Louis and Oli were supposedly staying at with the kid. Total opposite of the infinity pool house.

And after I heard Charlie talk twice about the filming having been organic, natural, not set up, etc and watching the 2 sections of the stunt in the docu, it just felt the opposite. Charlie was definitely trolling when he said that. And honestly for me, if these sections with the kid weren't in the film, it would not have been missed because Louis' own grandparents, siblings and childhood friends confirmed to us Louis' love for family and his personal journey. It defiantly felt like filming the kid was an afterthought, rather than preplanned or in the vision Louis or Charlie had in 2019.

Sadly no new insights about either broken arm incidents, no Louis hair and skincare discussions with Krystle, no fashion discussions with Helen, and no Clifford.

They celebrated Steve's birthday too hard in Iceland. His band is funny especially Matt. Mark Gillespie was seen backstage at Louis' LA show.

Familiar frequent flyer 'fans' were interviewed.

Louis loves his Louies, and his whole team appreciate us too.

There was only English subtitles for us. No local language because it was probably not worth translating for a limited screening that could only be used in 1 country.

I left feeling exhausted and heavy hearted seeing his journey, and very proud of Louis for how he kept going to where he is now, and how he has stayed a sweet person, and happy seeing he is surrounded by good people now. It's clear that Louis is loved and respected by those closest to him. As a One Direction fan and Louie, I enjoyed and appreciated this documentary.

This documentary is about a journey, and not a blockbuster, exposé film.

Now I feel so super ready for the tour to start because seeing Louis in concert again makes me miss those loud and fun times.

And remember, Louis is only getting started ...

(22 March 2023)

#proud of Louis 💙 #I hope it is going to be streamed somewhere so I can rewatch and it will reach a bigger audience #Jay and Fizzy would be so proud #I am so happy to see the people around Louis now #I fell asleep trying to write my thoughts while they were still fresh #I read people shading the film and saying it was predictable and we know his history already but what were you expecting bec I knew that #spoilers #AOTV spoilers #22 March 2023 #about AOTV #thank you for reading and bless you if you got to the end #I had not planned it to be this long #stunts #bg #long post #me #mine

[fandom-mix-16]

I still believe it's too early to give up and say goodbye to PalmerStrange

Why? Because if Marvel only wants Stephen to have closure, they could've done that in 10 minutes. They didn't need an entire movie (esp. how almost non-existent Christine has been in the first movie and the MCU in general). The wedding scene would've sufficed with a couple more lines.

But that's not what's happened.

They spent the entire movie proving to us of just how much he loves her, of how every Strange in every universe has always been in love with Palmer regardless of whichever universe she's from. If they only wanted an emotional reaction from us, Wanda has got that covered. I'm sure he has a lot of arcs from the comics that can be explored to develop his character in this movie. Using Christine for that sole purpose is unnecessary and in fact weightless in the grand scheme of things.

Instead of leaving behind Christine, we were introduced to a version of her who's technically a new character. She's someone who knows a lot about the multiverse and who could potentially keep up well with Strange's ever expanding role as a superhero. And she's someone who knew a version of Strange and had the same complicated relationship. She lost her Strange just as MCU Strange lost MCU Christine to Charles. If it's only closure they need, 838 Christine could've also been married to 838 Charles emphasizing that in the multiverse, Stephen always loses Christine to someone else.

More importantly, Stephen doesn’t lose Christine because she eventually falls in love with someone else. She falls in love with someone else because he “always has to hold the knife” which always ends up estranging her from him. In the first movie, the Ancient One said, “You cannot beat a river into submission; you have to surrender to its current, and use its power as your own.” While this was said in a different context, I think it can very well apply to Strange’s relationship with Christine. Every Stephen in every universe that we know of had lost Christine because he kept refusing to surrender control in his life, his universe and his relationship with her. All of his variants keep getting the same result because he’s true to character in the beginning and keeps reacting to her loss in the end in the same way. What if all he has to do is to give up on Christine in order to end up with her? (Maybe not 616 but 838 is still a possibility). None of the variants had shown that kind of development, only MCU Strange. That divergence from the recurring character flaw of all the other Stephens can create a new timeline where there is no existing blueprint for what comes next (i.e. “a love that will transcend time and universes”).

The 'multiverse' concept made all of these possible. Six years ago, we thought we were gonna get more Palmer in scrubs aiding Stephen in his adventures. Now, we have her variant from a different universe who’s evermore critical in Stephen’s success. At this point, I’d quote Rachel McAdams and say “anything is possible.” Sometime in the future, we might be introduced into a new concept that would wipe away the “incursion” side effect that is essentially the only thing getting in the way of MCU Strange and 838 Christine. 

As theorized by many, Secret Wars is what’s coming next to the MCU and this might be our solution. (screenshot below: comicbook.com, “Doctor Strange 2: What Are Incursions?”)

PalmerStrange may seem unlikely right now, but even Cap figured out a way to end up with Peggy, and Tony Stark ended up with Pepper even if her comic version ended up with Happy. There’s always hope until it isn’t the end.

P.S. "Time will tell how much I love you" and "I love you in every universe" are iconic lines that are too meaningful to be given to a couple whose singular purpose is to serve as a lesson to the superhero so that he can "get the girl" next time around. Marvel doesn't get everything right, but they're good enough to avoid a basic mistake.

#It'sNotTheEndUntilIt'sNotTheEnd #palmerstrange #christine palmer #stephen strange

[bobateastay]

Can I please request no.2 with Wooyoung for the song prompts 2 ☺️

2: it hurts to miss you but it's worse to know that i'm the reason you won't come home.

jung wooyoung x gender neutral!reader

cw - angst/hurt, childhood sweethearts, small towns

word count: ~950

a/n: maybe this isn't as angsty as it could've been but i hope you enjoy it anyway! thank you so much for leaving a request, i hope you're having a wonderful day!!

It all had so much potential to be perfect. 

The lazy afternoons spent wandering through open fields and abandoned farmhouses, sun scorching your bare shoulders and making you both sweat through your t-shirts. The nights spent sitting on the roof of Wooyoung’s father’s car or climbing onto the roof of your house so that you could spend hours trying to name each constellation before tracing them into each other’s skin. All of the firsts you shared - first all-nighter, first kiss, first drunken night, first time - and all of the promises you made about how one day you’d leave this town and live only in each other’s arms without anything else tying you down.

It all had so much potential. Maybe that's how Wooyoung should’ve known that it wouldn’t work. Nothing could've ever really lived up to that kind of potential.

The worst part of it all is that it could have been worse.

Wooyoung likes to imagine himself walking in on you making out with some other guy, or overhearing you telling one of your friends that you hate him. Not because he gets off on that kind of stuff, but because it would’ve been so much better than what’s really seared onto his brain to taunt him for the rest of his life. 

He doesn’t remember what it was like when you told him to his face that you didn't need him anymore - probably because he could tell long before you told him - but he remembers the rest of it. He remembers the agonising crescendo that lasted months or more before it finally hit him that all of the potential that had been there since the two of you were little kids was wasted now. That all of those years planning his life with you and around you didn’t matter anymore. 

“My skin’s gonna burn off,” he’d mumbled against your skin one day before it all went wrong, feet submerged in the cool water of a stream while the rest of his body was cooked alive in the sweltering summer heat. You laughed at him. A short, fond, but humourless sound as you moved your hand away from his hair. You shifted atop the towel you were both laying on, kicking your feet beside Wooyoung’s and splashing you both with water.

“Why don’t you move off of me then?” you asked. It was a nonchalant question, one you always asked when the weather was too warm and Wooyoung chose to cling to you anyway, but the way it fell from your lips this time wasn’t as insincere as it had always been. It took Wooyoung a minute to figure out that it was less of a joke and more of a request. 

“Oh,” he whispered, unwrapping his arms from around you and pushing himself up into a sitting position. You squinted up at him, the sunlight no doubt making your eyes ache as you did so. “Sorry, I didn’t realise it was too hot.”

You just shrugged, and Wooyoung tried to ignore how much the dismissal stung. 

“If it’s too hot we could go get ice lollies or something,” he suggested, lips forming a smile. He was already imagining giving you the first lick of his favourite strawberry-flavoured ice lolly while he took the first lick of your cola-flavoured one when you let out a long sigh and shook your head.

“No, it’s okay,” you said softly. “I think I’m gonna drive into the city. Get dinner there.”

“Oh,” Wooyoung said again, just as sheepishly as he had done a few minutes ago. “I thought we were getting dinner together.”

“I know, I just- I just want to get out of this town for a minute,” you murmured, throwing an arm over your face to avoid the sunlight. “I can’t wait to leave and get my own place somewhere away from here. Away from all of the people here.”

The sound of those words made an icy block of dread settle in the pit of Wooyoung’s stomach. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from correcting you. To stop himself from saying that you were both leaving together, right? The place you’d get would be for the both of you, and that somewhere in those sentences you’d forgotten to say ‘us’ and ‘our’. But most of all he wanted to remind you that he wasn’t one of the people you wanted to be away from. He couldn’t be. 

“We’ll leave soon,” he murmured, his voice too weak for it to sound like he meant it. 

There was a long pause, too meaningful for Wooyoung’s liking.

“I can’t wait to forget this town and all the people in it,” you reiterated. The confirmation felt like a spear through Wooyoung’s chest.

“Yeah,” Wooyoung whispered, because what else could he say? The two of you steeped in the oppressive silence that followed, and Wooyoung let the sun beat down on him hard enough that the air in his lungs slowly turned into boiling water.

You did leave town eventually. You got away from all of the people there, and it's all Wooyoung can do to stop himself from praying that you haven’t forgotten them. That you haven’t forgotten him. All of those years waiting to leave town together vanished into thin air, even as Wooyoung still waits for the childish dream to come true. He wonders whether all of the lazy afternoons and constellations traced into each other's skin and first times were really so awful that you would leave him behind without so much as a backward glance. 

Wooyoung tries coming to terms with the truth, and with how the truth becomes truer everyday.

It doesn’t matter how long he waits for you, you're never coming back for him.

.

thank you for reading ♡

taglist: @lovely-ateez @sunsethw4 @seonghwanotes @xirenex @bcbataro @peanutpmingib @sannierio @ateezinmymind @pseudosoobin @tohokuu @byeolofseonghwa @daisyboyclub

#ateez x reader #jung wooyoung x reader #ateez angst #jung wooyoung angst #ateez fanfic #jung wooyoung fanfic #ateez fic #jung wooyoung fic #ateez imagines #jung wooyoung imagines