#these are from our wedding day (real) (not delusional)

[sopekooks]

198/638 days of missing yoongi

#these are from our wedding day (real) (not delusional) #yoongi #bts #domy

[youarethedancingdean]

Day 7 of @steddie-week

Prompt: Free Space

It all started February, 8th. Eddie found a card in his locker after lunch. It was plain except for a comic-style bumblebee and a speech bubble with the phrase 'Bee mine'. First he thought this was some sort of stupid prank by his band mates, Gareth would come up with something like this. But after opening it and reading what was written in it, he wasn't so sure anymore.

Eddie.

I know, it's not Valentine's Day yet, which is why I'm not asking you to be my valentine. But be sure, I will come the time.

Isn't the bee cute?

The handwriting was too neat to be any of his friends'. God, what if this was some delusional girl with a crush on the school freak, the gay school freak. He better start finding the words to let her down easy.

Two day later, Eddie found a card in his backpack. What the hell, who had put that there? This one wasn't one you could open. The front was white and said 'Save the Date' in baby pink, cursive letters.

Of course, I'm not planing our wedding. I'm not that insane. But, you do have a date on the 14th. Make sure you're free, will you?

Tacos or pizza?

Tacos all the way, but who was this? Eddie had never had a secret admirer, let alone a date. Was this really for real or just a stupid prank in the end. He found, that he was hoping this was real. Even if he'd let down a girl, at least someone had been interested in him this way for once.

The 12th came around and so did the third card. He came home from band practice to find it in the mailbox of his uncle's trailer. The envelope it was in was plain white, the only thing on it was 'Eddie.' written in the by now so familiar handwriting.

The card was hand drawn this time. It was a sleeping bat hanging from the branch of a tree and a small red chested bird on the same branch. The drawing wasn't extravagant, but still pretty damn good. The inside read a joke that only a true nerd would really get. Maybe his admirer was nerdy, too? This was getting pretty interesting.

Be the bat man to my robin ♡

On Valentine's Day Eddie expected someone or at least a card to pop up at every corner. All day, though, he didn't get anything. He didn't even know where his stupid date would be, so he needed to get something, right?

It was 6:30 pm, when he heard a knock on the trailer's door. He jumped up excitedly, only to be disappointed when he opened the door to see Steve Harrington. Don't get him wrong, he thought Steve was beautiful and– GOD– he would date the living shit out of him. But there was no way Steve 'Straight Boy' Harrington had a thing for him. Hell, they barely exchanged nice words.

"Kids aren't here. Didn't they specify where to pick them up again? I think it's Max’ this time," he mentioned instead of greeting Steve, pointing at the trailer across the street where Max and her mother lived. "Not here to pick up the kids, here to pick up you," Steve responded with a cheeky smile, which left Eddie's face with a frown of confusion.

He was handed a small bouquet of flowers, all of them unique and unusual and definitely not some cheesy ones like roses. "Who put you up to this? I need to know, man. I've been getting these cards all week and I need to tell her... well, I need to talk to her. Steve only smiled wider, pointing at the small card in the bouquet. It finally read 'Be my Valentine' and contrary to the others he'd gotten it was just a basic, red and pink Valentine's Day card you could get anywhere.

You want tacos, don't you?

- Steve

Eddie’s eyes widened as he looked back up at the man in front of him. "You're straight," was all he said, quietly and calmly. He had to prepare himself for a disappointment, this had to be a prank after all. "Thank you for the diagnosis, Dr. Munson. But, I think you're wrong there. Look, maybe I shouldn't have made it this cheesy and silly, but I that's how I am, okay. And it's better you know that before you agree to go out with me. So? Tacos?" Steve was clearly pretty insecure and nervous, but he was also dressed nicely and his hair was looking even better than usually. And he knew he would pick tacos. "You're into me? You wanna date me?" Eddie asked, still in shock from it all. Steve nodded. "Let me get my jacket, you're driving," Eddie responded instantly, earning a relieved chuckle from Steve. "And, of course, were having tacos!" he called from his bedroom over the noises of someone looking for something specific in a huge mess.

#steddieweek2023 #day seven: free space #i decided to go with whatever i want #steddie #fluff #eddie munson #steve harrington #late entry cause i was busy #my writing

[justalittledumb]

About the valentines day event...May I submit the following letter?

Dear aether,

I know you are far away and I miss chatting to you!

You have long left Mondstadt and have so far traveled to do many regions. I suppose you also made a lot of new and fun memories, for whitch I am really glad!

I wont ever 4get that you saved mondstadt or that you were always there for me. There for, as your close friend, it is only obvious of me to invite you to my wedding!

I am going to marry one of the knights from the gates of mondstadt and of course, you are the first to be announced avout this!

I really hope you may come to our wedding, but if you cant I understand since you have a long journey ahead of you. Wish you the best regards and hopefully we will meet soon again!

-with pleasure, (reader)

*The letter came in a white envelope simple gold pattern on it. It was written neatly, but it looks like it was slightly rushed...*

My dearest (reader)

I am glad that you Had found someone to replace me love! But I have to say, that I don't think this is such a good idea.

How long did you know them for? You hadn't mention them back when I was staying in Mondstadt, and I doubt that you would be able to create a meaningfull connection in such relativly short time.

I doubt that you any real feelings for that... Nobody. Where you perhaps forced into this arrangment? Becouse I genuinly don't think you could make such a sudden decision by yourself.

Don't worry, a soon as I received your letter I started preparing to travel back to Mondstadt, and by the time this letter get's to you, I should be close to the city.

So don't worry, becouse I am soon going to come for you and save you. We can travel together, or if you prefer I can stay Mondstadt or even move with you to some other region. Anything to stop you from a meaningless forced marriage.

With love, Aether.

Well, this is my first letter! Sorry if this wasn't what you were looking for. I decided to make him just a little delusional becouse denial would most likely be how most yanderes would react to learning that their beloved is marrying someone else.

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere Genshin #yandere Aether

[grahamcore]

alright i’ve seen a lot of people disgruntled about the recent tomgreg dynamic and i want to put my two cents in. yes, i agree that it is kind of unbelievable that we went from “would you kiss me” + nero and sporus + forehead kiss + deal with the devil + homoerotic dialogue near constantly with them, on top of whatever the fuck they were doing in that first episode of season four, to pretty much nothing lately.

HOWEVER. i do think there’s a reason for it all that still implies tomgreg in some way shape or form. and i’m not trying to be delusional here with some “here’s how tomgreg can still win” bs because at this point i don’t think they can, but. let’s think about where the story’s going, right. how tomshiv has now been taken off the back burner and brought to the forefront of the plot. if we’re going to really say that tomgreg is real or whatever, then it’s only reasonable that a shift in the tomshiv dynamic means a definite shift with tomgreg must also happen, right?

so here’s what i’m getting at: i do not think it’s mere coincidence that in almost every scene where tomshiv have interacted lately, greg has been right at tom’s side. and though it’s been happening again and again and again, it was the moment when tom finds shiv crying in e6 that cemented this little theory for me. we have tomgreg, greg stooped over by tom’s side and a definite unprofessional amount of personal space between them like always as they enter the room. tom sees shiv, while greg becomes visibly awkward and uncomfortable. but it’s the fact that before tomshiv are free to interact, and ultimately kiss for the first time in who knows how long, greg has to very pointedly leave the room—it is a literal, blatant illustration of how greg is a wedge between them, a weird parody of the other woman. and yes, obviously anyone else would have also left in that moment, because shiv was clearly vulnerable, but it wasn’t just anyone else—it was greg, and that’s the point.

greg is still sporus and tom is still nero and i do believe the writers are showing this to us plain as day. the metaphor has continued with a pregnant shiv who literally fell down the stairs in e4, with the behavior between tomgreg in e1, with tom breaking down and seeking comfort not from his legal wife but from his sporus in e3. it’s in the fact that before tom can return to his relationship with shiv, he has to distance himself from her replacement with all of these little dismissals.

so i do think that this sudden drop off in tomgreg is intentional, and still very much implies that there is/was/could be something between them. we’re getting our tomgreg proof by way of divorce. tom left shiv to be wed to sporus, and now before he can return to his first wife, tomgreg has to come to a natural end. and it is definitely an end, because whether you believe they’re a thing or not, tom’s behavior with greg in the season 3 finale compared to the most recent episodes of season 4 is like night and day. so there it is i think. tomgreg won many battles but at the end of the day, tomshiv is winning the war

#tomgreg antis behave in my comments ok i still love and support tomshiv and wish the best for them especially my girl shivy im a multishippe #but yeah really hope this ages horribly and i was wrong and tomgreg goes platinum #succession #tomgreg #tomshiv #tom wambsgans #shiv roy #greg hirsch #succession s4 #succession spoilers #succession sunday

[bestofwives-bestofwomen]

Welcome to our blog!

This is a side blog of @controversialcoven purely for our Hamilton introjects (mostly because our main is very homestuck centered)

Interactions are appreciated and very welcome!

⟢ please treat us with the same respect you’d treat anyone else, just because we are introjects doesn’t mean we aren’t real people

(However, if you’d like to roleplay in our asks wed still be open)

⟢ you can ask us mostly anything about our source, or just generally talk to us for fun! As long as you keep the first thing in mind we will have no problems

Alter introductions under cut

She/her 🕯️ adult 🕯️ straight

Maid of blood prospit leo

⟢ I’d prefer not to touch the topic of my family’s deaths

⟢ source mates are heavily welcome <3

⟢ I’m a little more historically accurate than my peers

⟢ my tag: #eliza posting

⟢ Spotify playlist + Pinterest

He/him 🖊️ 19 🖊️ bisexual

Mage of life derse capricorn

⟢ modern day college au

⟢ in love and taken (Laurens <3)

⟢ mentally fragile/hj be careful with topics of death I’m extremely delusional

⟢ I will debate you on politics and win

⟢ talk tag: #only 19 but my mind is older

⟢ Pinterest

She/her ♥️ 20 ♥️ unlabeled

Heir of rage derse aries

⟢ some form of modern

⟢ please don’t refer to me as Reynolds

⟢ play nice and I will too

⟢ talk tag: #absinthe sweet

⟢ playlist

We also have a Jefferson. I don’t like him. /j

We also have a semi historically accurate Alexander now? I don’t think he knows how to use a phone don’t expect anything from him

#hamilton musical #hamilton #introject #did system #osddid #intro post

[cobragardens]

Emmet Asher Perrin says some things in this Good Omens essay that I want to say, but better than I'd be able to say them.

Quotes below the cut are for my own benefit. You should read the whole thing. The ending is what I mean when I say this was my generation's Kirk/Uhura kiss.

I remember the LJ fandom. I never knew it was small, or that it had any contact with Gaiman or Pratchett. I didn't know it was the majority of the fandom who thought Crowley and Aziraphale were deeply in love; I thought it was just that every fandom has its slashers, ever since Kirk/Spock. I was relieved that I wasn't the only one slashy-minded enough to read Good Omens and think "Oh, they're a lovely couple, I wonder if they've noticed yet"

Our wedding bouquets were flowers assembled from the pages of Good Omens, and an astronomer’s atlas.

***

What I didn’t anticipate were changes that rendered a certain relationship between one angel and one demon in a light far more attuned to the writings of my teenage self. The cues were all there, though no one said the word “love”—longing stares, swelling music, ages of pining, a break up at the end of the world. It was done with such clarity, my word, it was, but we don’t really live in a day and age that wants “crystal clear but soft around the edges.” We can’t afford it, can we? Everything must be stated out loud with vehemence, else someone can deny it. And they will, vocally, angrily, and with an eye toward removing a few more of those pesky human rights I mentioned from before.

Good Omens the series, being the first season, showed us that Crowley and Aziraphale loved each other—but it wasn’t enough.

And that sounds mad to me, as I’m saying it, because I’d never been allotted even a sliver of this previously in the things that I loved.

[...]

But none of that changes the fact that most of my formative texts, the ones that molded my brain into the current shape I use day in and out, generally didn’t make room for me. I had to make that room myself, with others who wanted that same room. And contrary to certain very narrow opinions, that place wasn’t pathetic or delusional.

It was glorious. It was endlessly strange and it was mine.

I don’t know what changed in the process of taking Good Omens from novel to television series, from one season to the next, but I have a sneaking suspicion of the factors involved: A fandom that exploded with ever more queer kids and odd ones who felt seen and loved in that same space; the constant legislation against queerness, transness, disability, and healthcare; a global pandemic that isolated us from one another. Those are the big ones, but there are smaller ones at play, too: actors who were more than happy to play those roles and those stories; the increasing homogenization of blockbuster media providing a backdrop to counteract; an ugly surge from groups who tried to insist that one of the book’s authors was against trans rights.

***

There’s something precious in seeing what other people might not see. It deserves confirmation, construction, the tenderness of depiction—at least some of the time.

At least once.

I’m not sure I believe it happened, even now. That I watched season two and Crowley managed to say in words that “our side” was far more than a work agreement or a friendly contract. That he kissed Aziraphale right on the mouth, and we all saw it. That it’s real and irrevocable. That a story about a botched Apocalypse is morphing into a tale about how we cannot place our sacred trust in institutions (even celestial ones), only in the people who love us. I’m not sure I believe that it’s happening. But I always knew it, you see.

And this feeling of watching it come to life when it wasn’t remotely plausible even ten years ago… I’m not sure I have words to describe it. I imagine it’s close to one of those eureka moments that scientists are supposed to have. When inspiration coalesces into something infinitely more divine and a couple pieces of the universe puzzle snap together to give us a fragment of what we’re missing.

Stories change in the telling.

But they’ve never changed like this, not for me. And if that’s possible when I was so certain it would never be, then maybe there’s a little more possibility to go around. Everywhere.

Every day…

#good omens #good omens s2 #aziracrow #ineffable husbands

[sapphire-weapon]

aeon shippers are very insecure over their canon ship - you worded it very well. most aeon stans that i see on twitter (and some on tiktok too) basically spend their time preventively making fun of other ships like cleon, leon/ashley hell even chreon when totally unprompted. i try to be chill about them but dear god do they get on my nerves, because they're always tweeting about how every other ship sucks/every non-aeon shipper is delusional because blah blah blah said VA said this said director said that... and i have no idea where this insecurity comes from. maybe the fact that aeon has not gotten their happy ending at all and their future is still hanging in the balance (and will forever hang in the balance cause this is capcom we're taking about)? i don't know what more they want honestly. maybe for leon to get down on one knee in the next installment with a wedding dress and the rings in the back of the chopper.

and at this point, they are being more delusional than other shippers by investing this much negative energy into a ship by putting down everyone else and borderline making up stuff. i keep seeing their tweets abt stephanie panisello being the number one cleon hater?? i've looked for evidence supporting that claim and couldn't find anything - other than the fact that she is literally the one who suggested that short cleon scene from infinite darkness, where she falls on top of leon after he rescues her.

so i don't know what their deal is. they're like a bunch of feral cats that hiss at you before you've even tried to approach them. i try to just ignore them, but it gets real annoying when you browse twitter for shipping content and you mostly find aeon shippers bullying everyone as a defense mechanism.

Block them. Just block them. Literally nothing that they have to say matters.

I do kind of wonder if there's some mode of peer pressure happening, and some of these people are projecting. Like, when they got into RE, people told them that there is a Correct Way to engage with the canon and fandom, so they're just conforming to that. And any time they bitch about another ship, what they're really doing is bitching that they want to ship that ship but can't because it's not "correct."

These people are the architects of their own suffering, and it's not on us to get involved. If Aeon fandom wants to be a fucking cult, then that's their business. Sucks for the people they've roped in, but you can't just pull someone out of a cult mindset with facts or logic.

Our only job is to just whore out Leon and have fun doing it. Maybe one day those who got sucked into the Aeon cult will join us. Maybe they won't. It's not for us to decide.

And we don't have to put up with their shit while they figure themselves out. There's no reason to let them stress you out. Feel pity for them if you must, but otherwise just block them and let it go.

[prismaticgray]

chapter 1 is finally released! it's less of a chapter 1 and more of a prelude but who's counting. also i released it a few days ago. but still. longform authors note under the cut!

dear lord this one's been brewing for a while. so to first elaborate on the choices i made in the writing process i have to first explain the basis of the au so bear with me here

no one can ever know is based on the 2021 kamen rider season kamen rider revice, and is a partial retelling while also being a slight rewrite? because i think if i had to write adhering to revice canon i'd actually cry. with that being said, here are the main character roles that each sekai character is fitting

ena shinonome -> sakura igarashi

akito shinonome -> ikki igarashi

toya aoyagi -> vice

kohane azusawa -> daiji igarashi

an shiraishi -> kagerou

mizuki akiyama -> aguilera

mafuyu asahina -> olteca

kanade yoisaki -> julio

tsukasa tenma -> hiromi kadota

this isn't like a hard rule it's just like severely basic. for example ena is seriously the protagonist in this story despite being in sakura's place! there are also smaller changes to the story (no legend rider forms because i don't need to sell toys, stamps are based on flowers rather than animals, name changes of the organizations, etc) but i'll be going over those as they appear if i have something to say about them.

ok the actual chapter 1 content starts here.

so i rewrote this chapter 3 times lmao. the first time because i, delusional, thought i'd be covering most of the setup with one chapter. however it turns out its a lot easier to jump into a kamen rider episode when you have a press conference explaining the premise of your series and also the help of being a visual medium. so this was a little difficult. the second was because i had a really hard time striking the right balance of what was happening in real time and kanade's inner monologue, especially when it came to how much backstory should be shown. anyway that doesn't really matter but if it still seems clunky that's why!

kanade is really not the most reliable narrator here. that's pretty clear from the fact she is absolutely definitely in a cult don't even worry about it. yet she's still actually the most recent member of the group! the timelines for the other two aren't quite nailed down yet but they're definitely both before kanade.

the name "nightcodes" comes from the period of time when niigo was mistranslated at "25-ji, nightcode de" rather than "nightcord".

i didn't actually have a select song in mind when describing the songs kanade composed but i did listen to samsa like nonstop while writing, so it's probably that lol

on the other hand i DID have outfits in mind for kanade and mafuyu. they're their "someday from the depths of despair" outfits!

kanade's hair is also specifically her wedding lim braid hairstyle.

mizuki does not have an exact match for their outfit but the idea was for it to pretty much be the same as aguilera's outfit in the show because that dress rules.

the idol's identity is purposefully left vague due to the fact that the corresponding main villain in revice, giff, was kind of a rock coffin and also dead i think. but if you were wondering yes i basically made hatsune miku the villain of my kamen rider story. don't worry about it.

in revice, the intro scene of the deadmans was some sort of party at their base? it was only on screen for a few minutes so it wasn't exactly elaborated on. i combined both this scene and the first main fight of the show by having sekai raid it. it's also explicitly a recruiting event / initiation here. also it can't be a proper fight in kamen rider without it being in a warehouse so that's where it is.

it'll be made clear in the next chapter but the three members of sekai i described are ena (the leader), tsukasa, and kohane.

ok i think that's it!! thank you for reading and stay tuned for the next one!!

#no one can ever know #authors note #a/n 1 #project sekai #kamen rider

[alazyparallelworld]

How did you meet your boyfriend? Is it a LDR??

oh-!! uhm, yes, we are long-distance. overseas, lol. our financial situations n visas n Worldwide Regulations mean we haven't met in-person yet… our plans keep getting pushed back for such-n-such reasons, but we got like. a Specific Goal this year, that'll coincide with other reasons for him to be in the states. etc.

AS FOR THE, 'MEET CUTE,' he was aware of me beforehand. we - my 'best friend,' (one of them) who is also his best friend is… his ex… for a time, when i was in between clusterfucks of relationships whether For Real romantic or fp(s) on unrequited (@ me- i was not, interested in either of them. flips hair) crushes or whatever - i referred to them, as, my 'wife' in a tongue-in-cheek way

THIS CERTAINLY. MADE HIM REACT. he knew me prior, still, but calling his ex - 'my wife!' got his eye. and his ire. i, oblivious, of this one-sided enemy (jokes) … anyway, our mutual Best Friend at some? point? hosted a stream. quiet, not too busy, as it was a friends-only affair. i was either lonely, or bored, maybe some mix of the two, or felt as thought i was Neglecting my best friend due to my then-chaotic IRL life and housing situation. so, i, watched. i think only me n my bf were there, perhaps a third person dipped our during, etc.

he was polite enough. both of our schedules were free, he was unemployed, yada yada, i was in desperate need of Companionship, so we exchanged discords. and i remember. keenly. my first, guttural, Reaction was

"oh, i'm gonna trap his ass"

despite everything he has never been my. FP. favorite person. no, this was sort of… Pure, obsession, head-over-heels. to this day i cannot pinpoint what was the. Attractive feature? Why he 'stole my heart' [ouma JPN voice] or swept me off my feet. myb he had small, but numerous, Allures. or i was that needy, that any kind of - 'relatively normal' attention, that was not Unadulterated Delusional Infatuations as i was receiving on the side - caught my full attention. IDK.

later on, in an idle convo between us 3 (me, bf, aforementioned best friend) best friend was like… I had a feeling - you two would - essentially, played, matchmaker. Cupid. and i was ready to fall in love.

but he was. Is. different. he was very cautious about me, wary, as thru secondhand talkings he knew my life and my Personality was. unstable. Fluxing… that, to me, lol - i've always liked, puzzles, challenges, and whereas for anyone else i would [smash whatever dumb barrier separates] i played along. I didn't want to scare him away. I didn't 'hide' my - uh, insanity, rlly - or my poor mental n physical health, the latter of which was. RAPIDLY deteriorating. but i didn't unveil the, "I WANT TO HAVE A QUIET, INDOOR WEDDING, AND THEN WE LIVE BEHIND A WHITE-PICKET FENCE-" which is mandatory for my "i am deeply Enraptured/Obsessed/In Love with you." lmfao

REALLY… IK THIS SOUNDS, MELODRAMATIC BUT. i think in a month-or-two of us. Crossing the friendship line [n we were well beyond that line, the Too-Far-4-Friendship Event was a daily occurrence] he asked, tentative, for clarification. You don't… like me, right? Bc I don't feel the same way. I don't think I can, ever will, etc.

me, lying thru my teeth: Of course not. This is just for fun. :) We're friends!

TO BE CLEAR I WAS NOT HURT BY HIS. "I don't wanna date you! Ever! Sorry!!!" as i said he was wary! i knew not to push. give him time… and then another month-or-two later, he backtracked. "I think.. I'm in love with you…" and i, went, oh same. Have been.

he asked, if i already was, back during his establishing, "i don't like you That Way," and i said. Yeah! Really, from the moment I met you. THIS SHOCKED HIM AT THE TIME altho he had, Suspicions abt my actual feelings, thruout our pre-dating… he agrees that if i had been honest - "I do like you! A lot, actually! Since our first exchanging of sentences -!!" he would've bolted. Ran for the hills. he's quite 'tsun' or 'kwaa' about it, so don't tell him i told you that… /light-hearted

all this to say. I succeeded. I trapped his ass. [Shows off our interlinked chain] but, if you think about it, it's the vice versa… so often I'm mistaken for Amy Dunne to his Nick, in reality it's the op- [dragged off screen]

#i ramble ★

[kat-holden]

Even here I am today without words. I need to tell someone. So I'll just say it. I was a damn idiot. All three years of my marriage, I was an idiot. I held on to someone I loved, and I still love. I am now sure he doesn't love me.

Oh, it's so difficult even to write it because it becomes true when I put it down. I never shared the true reason for my depression. Not here, not to you in real life. Not even to myself, but I knew. What I write next, the way that makes me feel, I am afraid it will make me a hypocrite.

I once told you what he did before our wedding. And that it wasn't just mindless, unfeeling sex chat. That time, three years ago when I read those texts, he was in love with the girl. He repeatedly said he loved her and he would do anything to be with her. He comforted her the way he didn't me. With me back then, he was frustrated with my depression, my eating disorder. He would look at me with empty eyes telling me to get over it.

Then I snapped, and we fought and stupid me forgave him. Same day. Stupid me never blamed him, I comforted him when he apologized and cried and promised he wouldn't do it again. Stupid me got over it, and found my confidence. I blamed myself and never made him feel bad for what he did.

I even offered to open up the marriage long before you came around so that if he wanted, he could explore. The only thing I ever asked for in a situation like that was to love just me. And he swore he doesn't want that, that he doesn't need anyone else. And I believed him. The silly little girl believed him.

I never removed the option for an open marriage from the table because I am not delusional. I know, I have known that I am not enough or attractive to him. I have made my peace with this. But I thought that maybe he could just love me, without the sex, he could just love me.

And then a month ago, I saw the signs again. When I wanted to take my own life, he was texting her how much he loved her. How he wanted to hop on the train and go see her.

I still don't blame him. I expected it.

I don't know how I feel about this. All my fears were confirmed. Everything I was worried about got explained. All the whys were answered. And yet, I felt sad. Yet, my stomach fell, and my limbs went numb. Am I a hypocrite? I keep telling myself that with you, I always knew what it was. That I never went as far as he did. I am still absolutely sure I have things very well separated and thought out in my head. I feel no guilt over our communication, I feel no guilt over the two times we've met.

And if we are to continue, I will still feel and do the same. I think this time I am angry because of two things.

1. He had the opportunity to tell me to make it not hurt. I would have allowed it. I would have been okay if he only came and told me. I have no quams with him being with other people. Because clearly I needed the same.

2. That he is stupid enough to fall in love with someone behind my back. He is so bad at having an affair that he can neither keep it away from me nor can he keep himself in check and just make it about sex.

The worst thing, in all of this, is that I will stay. I will not fight this time. I will stay until he leaves. And then I will have to rebuild my life again. It has been on the horizon for a while, and now it feels it's getting closer.

[convxction]

There would always be times where the Exalt or Queen would have to travel to one of the neighboring countries to talk with the other leaders and negotiate new treaties or trade deals. Usually one of the two would go and the other would stay in the castle. It became a lonelier time as the person going away may be weeks at a time.

This was one of those days where Chrom would be gone away for a little while on a diplomatic trip. Rebecca was left to take care of local affairs and the children. She was always saddened by how long he was gone but she also noticed something. On the hand her wedding ring was on, it would feel warmer like when Chrom held it. As if saying that he’s always there with her. Other times she could swear that she could see him in a spirit like form. Always smiling and saying he loves her. It was comforting in a way.

A little into the trip, Chrom would receive a letter from Rebecca that read the following:

Dear Chrom,

I hope that you have reached your destination safely and are doing well. Things at the castle have been semi-quiet with just minor disputes that need to be solved. The kids and I miss you very much. They’ve been asking when you’ll be coming back and I’ve told them the day you’re suppose to return.

The castle seems more empty with you gone. There’s…also been something strange going on. I’m not sure if it’s my mind playing tricks on me or what but whenever i have my wedding ring on, I swear I can feel your touch or even see you from time to time. It’s a good feeling and helps with not being able to see you for these extended periods of time. Maybe you were right about all those times you talked about the strength of the bonds we share ha ha.

I hope that everything will go smoothly for you so that you can return to us soon. I love you and will write more soon.

Love, Rebecca

Since the day he saw his family-in-law that night and Chrom secretly did research on the matter with Miriel's help. There is no one else to tell them what happened without being called 'delusional' or worst 'crazy'. Miriel looked into the matter and with enough time, she gathered some clues; strong bonds can break into the fabric of time and space, just enough to project spirits into the world for a particular purpose. It would explain how both Rebecca's real parents were present that night. Chrom had been keeping in contact with Spartan about this topic, asking for clues about them for her sake. Especially, when Thomas started to show some features which are not quite from his side and made people whisper ill things about the queen.

Bonds huh ...

Bonds are what made everything possible; defeating risens, walhart, grima and bringing back robin. Heh, of course, finding the love of his life. Bonds are a wonderful thing; the best gift that humans were given.

On his travels, his bonds were tested every time. Whenever he felt uneasy he would gently give his ring a kiss to remind him of whom he is working his ass off; his family.

The letter arrived safely and honestly at a good time. hurriedly, he opened the letter to read his wife's words. Eyes scanning every word she wrote, he paused for a moment, recalling feeling something similar to what she wrote about. So, he was not being dramatic?

"Rebecca, too? ... Then ... this is what Miriel told me about. Tiki said something similar a while back, too. Naga, did too ...

A soft smile curled his lips, kissing his ring again perhaps this will tell Rebecca how much he misses her, too.

Hmm.. to send a letter or not? It would not make sense to write what he knows on paper so he will save the explanation until he comes back home and just write he will be home soon.

"Dear, Rebecca

It made me happy to receive a letter from you at this time. I needed it. As for that matter, I will be home soon to discuss what you felt because I do, too. I know it must be confusing but it makes sense; you said it yourself "our bonds" made it happen.

I will do everything in my power to come home quickly but for now, Flavia is not letting me go any time soon--Khan's hospitality and all that you know. Basilio had sworn I'd spend some time with him for the old days' sake. I tried to decline politely but he refused to take no for an answer.

And Rebecca, I love you. Kiss the kids for me."

unprompted | always accepting | @pieman1112

#verse. sky travelers.|| rebecca #ic.|| #pieman1112 #[cries... #[theyyyyyyy

[dzpenumbra]

3/13/23

I made up for 4+ hours of conflict yesterday with 6+ hours of streaming today.

I can't even explain how... delusional it feels... to stream a story game that is intentionally being streamed as essentially a set of dynamic prompts for me to tell a story... to no listeners... The traits, characters, setting, plot tools, all that... they're all delivered by the game. Select choices and making all the pieces fit together? That's up to me. And it's very difficult to... bring your 100% when you're telling a story to a handful of bots. When no one shows up. For hours.

I switched over to art after about 3 hours. I opened Krita and just started drawing this organic abstract stuff I've been doing lately. The work I did on the prayer beads, and the Be Here Now sign. Kinda like an organic membrane with voids or like... cell pockets. It's a type of design I've been doing for like 20 years. I did that and listened to the entirety of Periphery's new album. It's fucking good, really weird, really out there, really pushing their limits. Super different from anything I've heard from them. Very impressed.

So I did a live album review - to no one. At some point someone came by and said "long time no see"... and then nothing else. I engaged with them immediately... crickets. I looked at their profile, they followed me when I drew the owl (my profile picture) back in 2021, but I guess never came back since. And just went silent or left. People are so odd. Then someone new came in, and... same story. Just said hello, and I tried to strike up a conversation... crickets. It's so frustrating.

Honestly, it feels really sad. It feels like I'm just pretending to have friends, which really doesn't make the idea of actually making friends more real. It makes it feel farther away. I just... I fucking suck at this.

Daylight savings really fucked me up. I didn't get up and moving until like 4. That shit is so fucked up. Because I didn't get to sleep until like... 7! I'm genuinely surprised I'm getting this journaling done at such an early hour.

So... I missed the mixer at the board game shop. Never showed up, it got late too quick. I got yoga done. I skated up to the gas station up by the highway and got some food and snacks. The woman who worked there was laughing about some guy who came in twice saying that he got his turban stuck in the tire air pump thing, like it got sucked in or something... and she was just scoffing at him and laughing him off. And... I just kinda laughed at the absurdity of it, because I had this Looney Tunes cartoon of it happening in my head and it was pretty slapstick funny. But... inside... I was like... that's a religious garment, that's like... he's gotta feel really panicked that he doesn't have it. That's a big deal to some people, like real big. Like "lost a wedding ring" big. And they didn't even try to take him seriously and help him, they just laughed him off and told him to leave, they just said "it doesn't work like that, it blows air, I don't know what happened to your turban but our machine didn't suck it in" or something. And... yeah, in hindsight... poor guy, you know? I wish I had been a bit more present, I could've probably offered to help him.

I seriously... I hate how scared of people I am here. Just... in general, I guess. Like... crossing paths with a homeless person who was just yelling out loud in the street the other day. It's hard to really... empathize with that. It confuses me. It's alien. I'm super self conscious, it's like... the complete opposite, just like... ultimate not giving a fuck. Hard to put myself in those shoes. And that kinda freaks me out, I guess. Encountering people from different cultures at the gas station, it made me feel bad. Like... it made me feel like a bad person. Because I just... didn't know what to expect, really. Like... I didn't know what they were thinking, because I didn't know how I appear in their eyes. If that makes sense, I'm finding this hard to articulate clearly. Like... 3/4 of the people I run into I'm scared are going to try to steal my skateboard. Which is fucking stupid, because it's like 35 lbs and the controller for it is strapped firmly to my wrist and I'm going at least 8mph at the time... But my anxiety just tells me I'm gonna get a knife or a gun pulled on me and they're taking the board, my earbuds and my phone. And I just... I guess it's because I'm alone.

It's weird. It's most people. I just... assume I'm pissing them off, they're going to yell at me, they're going to call the cops on me, they think I'm stalking them, they think I'm creepy, they think I'm dangerous, they think I'm annoying or making a lot of noise (the board can be a bit loud on brick, but it's a really fun texture to ride on), they think I'm a hipster dad trying to reconnect with a lost youth (not far off, minus the dad part...). I have no idea what others see when they look at me. And I clearly assume the worst.

And over the past few years, I've heard some nasty things. Nasty things that people think of me. And... I'm afraid a lot of that might've gotten beaten into my head?

I'm having trouble wording this right, I think. I don't trust the people around me... because I don't know what they think of me, I don't know how they perceive me. Because I very rarely get social feedback, and the overwhelming majority of it is either avoidance or conflict. So it sorta stands to reason that the most likely perception of me is... negative. Or suspicious. Which means people will be guarded around me. Which means... I'm not safe.

God... what a mess. What a mess my brain has devolved into. Looking at this, no shit I don't go out in public. And all I've been begging for, for years now... is someone to just wingman. So it's safe for me to meet new people and branch out. Ugh.

How many times do I need to have this panic attack, good lord, I'm such a broken record on this! Every anxiety response I have - "I went to the store and I ran into people that must have been suspicious of me because I'm a white dude with a shaved head in his mid-30's wearing black" - and it always catastrophizes and then resolves at the same damn lament... "if only I had a friend. Someone to have my back."

I hate living like this.

Last time I'm hitting this point, I promise. Just... picture this. Instead of me going skating alone with earbuds in trying to ignore the thoughts of people staring at me and judging... or the cops pulling up and ticketing me for riding on the sidewalk or some dumb shit... Instead, me meeting up with a friend to go cruise and explore with. Exploring my new city, with another person, so it's... you know... fucking safer. So if I crash, I'm not fucking stranded alone. So if I get mugged, I at least have someone to help me out after the fact. Someone who knows where I am and can get help. Someone to just... keep me company, and tell me I'm doing a great job, and laugh at my jokes and shit.

Oh, and since we're basically sending wishes to the gods here, might as well ask for my flexibility back in my hips, and whatever weird shit is going on with my neck, if we could get that straightened out, that'd be dank. Thanks Lumbyx, God of Spines, love your work. Praise be.

Welp. That was like... my whole day. Didn't even shower. Just wake up. Grababrush putonalittlemakeup. Yoga. Skate to the shop, hit the riverside and see geese (which was cool) and head home. Watch youtube and eat and... stall. Then stream for 6+ hours.

And here I am.

I'm upset because... it didn't feel like an accomplishment. It was, there were several large accomplishments today. But they didn't feel like accomplishments. I have that feeling where I'm going "man, I want a cigarette" and I just came back inside from smoking a cigarette. Like a hunger. Dissatisfied. Discontent. Uneasy. Wanting. Longing. Craving. It really is like a hunger. I mean that. Like I could easily see others (myself even) trying to sate this hunger with... food, or water, or alcohol, or nicotine, or benzos, or pain pills, or weed, or sex, or like... anything, really. It's a very generic hunger. A very general, deep hunger. So vague and general that I really can't define what it is or where it is.

This, in the past, was why I made those Rimworld-style "Needs meters". Right now: Food - 7/10? Rest - 2/10 Recreation - 9/10 Beauty (of immediate environment) - 5/10 Comfort - 5/10 Outdoors - 7/10

(7+2+9+5+5+7)/6 = 35/6 = 5.8/10 total Mood

So... why am I in such a shitty mood then? Why am I so upset? 5.8 is really not that bad! What's the hunger about? Welp, in Rimworld, that would be one of the Mood modifiers. Not a biophysical thing... like base human needs, the stuff above. It's more of a... thought kinda thing. Psychological effects.

Which is what has brought me to this revision lately where like... I feel like Rimworld should have a need bar for Social. Because it really does feel like a basic survival need. And shit gets really fucky in your life if social just... disappears, or is all bad.

This is where I randomly and suddenly end the journal entry because I'm tired and I notice it's getting a bit late. I wish I had something useful to do with this Rimworld RPG self-help method. It really fucking upsets me that like... I presented this specifically to 3 professional licensed psychologists, one the head of a psychology department at a college, and all of them nodded and smiled and rolled their eyes and tuned out like I was a 5 year old telling them how I was going to be an astronaut someday. Because I found this game mechanic that, in staggering detail, not only maps out both the human psyche and Mazlow's hierarchy of needs, but creates a simulation of that system in a simulated environment. You can see it functioning in real-time. You can alter it. You can see the effects it has on mood and health and relationships and shit, you can see where mental breaks hit and what causes them. It's like... the foundation of the entire game. It's like... it's fucking psychology and self care in a nutshell. It's like a roadmap for self-therapy. And I made a 45 minute video breaking this down in painstaking detail for these people and they didn't even fucking watch it. YOU CAN MAKE YOURSELF IN RIMWORLD, IN PREPARE CAREFULLY. I fucking did it myself to show them! Not even kidding, I made myself in Rimworld, my house, my cat, my dog, and screenshotted the needs tab with the bars and the thoughts list and everything. And I gave them the screenshot to show them, on fucking paper, precisely every goddamn moving piece of what was going wrong in my life. And they did that whole move that shitty parents do when they go "oh wow, that's a wonderful dog you've drawn, let's put it on the fridge a little later" and then the slip it into the trash.

I swear to god, this system helped me immeasurably in being able to get out of my head and actually identify my problems specifically. Like... look what I did here! Up above. Like, my problem is clearly not a base human need. I'm tired, but the rest is doing surprisingly well. It's a craving for social contact, or a craving for... emotional comfort? I'm sure if I tallied out my big mood modifiers, it'd paint a much more detailed picture. But identifying that this hunger is not a biological component is a really important factor for me, because it really feels like a biological factor... and that can be enough for someone to start binge eating or drinking or smoking or whatever, just to make that mysterious hunger go away.

I would love, more than anything, to share this tool with others. This could like... really help people. This could be the kind of tool that people in my generation that just... struggle to connect with therapy... they can do as homework. In an approachable context. Imagine this as an app. And you plug in your stats, and your modifiers. And if you hover over negative modifiers, it can give you suggestions of common remedies to help ease them and boost mood. Shit like that. I mean... come on... Just as a day-to-day self-care kind of thing.

Maybe someone will listen to me someday and see the value of stuff like this. This idea has lasted over 4 years now and I still hold the value of it, its value to me has increased. All because some phenomenally talented indie game developers wanted to make a game that simulates the function of human mood/psychology/biology in a survival scenario. What fool would not use such an advanced and well-crafted tool?

Okay. This is where I end the journal entry. But reset the vibes first.

The highlight of the day was... seeing the geese by the river. There was a guy filming them, no idea what for but it made me so happy to see it! And the river was beautiful, my first time down by the riverside at that part of the river, above the waterfall. And the light was beautiful, and the ancient brick mill buildings at the side of the river just looked really striking. I took a picture, even. That's a memory that will stick with me. I love nature. :)

#diary #journal #online journal #stream of consciousness #stream of thoughts

[kaysventingspace]

Family... What does that word mean to me? Glad you asked... let me tell you.

This is going to be a long one, so I suppose I should start by summarizing why I was excited to marry into what I thought at the time was a big close-knit family.  I was sadly mistaken, but we’ll get to that in a moment.

You see, growing up while my parents were still together, I was an only child. After their divorce there was a few years where I was still an only child dealing with the volatile fights of splitting custody between my parents, but that’s a story for another time and possibly a licensed professional…

Skipping ahead, eventually both of my parents remarried, and I gained a stepbrother. After a while we mutually agreed to take the “step” out of the title, he’s just my brother, my big brother, both in age and height. Seriously, the man is six-foot-four. And I am just his sister. Anyways, long story short, we hung out in the same group of friends before we even realized our parents were dating. From day one my brother assumed the protective role of me.  I didn’t complain, I relished in it.  We both grew up as only children, so finally having a sibling and one we considered a close friend first definitely made the merging of our families very easy.  Even my mom views him as one of her own, I know it sounds odd. In fact, this December, she’s accompanying me to his wedding. Weird, right?  But that’s who he is.  You meet him and you instantly love the guy.  I’m proud of him and I hope he’s proud to call me his sister.

Fast forward 21 years, we’re still there for each other even though we live an hour apart. I have two kids, a husband, a business, and I work in real estate. He lives with his soon-to-be-wife, their dog and bunny on a nice piece of property in the middle of no where close to our mom and dad.  Well, his mom, my dad – just to clarify, but I call her mom too. I know this can get confusing, so try to keep up.

Drop a comment if you need some elaboration, I’ll do my best to answer your questions.

My brother and his wife work full-time and travel every chance they get, they have no kids and financially, they did everything right. I envy them, but mostly, I’m proud of them. His fiancé is as sweet as can be and I’m excited to call her my future sister.  I wish I saw more of them, but obviously we lead busy lives, however, we talk as often as we can. Regardless of our hectic schedules, there is one thing I know I can always count on with my brother and vice versa.  If I needed him for anything, and I mean anything, he’ll be there.  He’s been my shoulder to cry on, he’s been my ear to vent to, he’s dropped what he’s doing to come move me out of an ex’s house at a moments notice. He’s kept space for me and my girls to stay when we wanted to visit just for the hell of it. If I was ever in a financial bind, he would help me. I love my brother, and I consider myself lucky to have him. He’s been my best friend over the years and I, his. I’ve been his protective, sometime scary, and crazy little sister to girls he’s dated that took advantage of him. Now, none of this isn’t to say that we didn’t have our share of arguments when we lived under the same roof in high school. Also, I’m not delusional, I know I can be a pill and at times very hard to live with.  I come with my own warning label. We did get into some intense arguments, but we grew up and gained maturity and always had that foundation of friendship to fall back on, and I never questioned whether he’d be there for me. I also tried my best never to give him a reason or pause to depend on me.

I may have been spoiled with this kind of sibling relationship, or maybe the fact that we were friends before we knew of the possibility becoming a family made the biggest difference. But no matter what, I grew up with both of my parents drilling it into my head that family is there for you when you need them.  Family is there for you even if you don’t think you need them.  If a family member is in need, we close ranks and help where and when we can, regardless of how you came to be in that family, by blood or marriage, we’re family. That’s it, that’s just how it is. My dad being a Marine put more of a military spin on it, but the message still came across the same, you be there for your family. I grew up seeing my mom and her siblings’ interactions with each other and how they showed the same strength in their relationship with one another, you’re there for your family, even if you’re fighting, or you’re not getting along at that time, you still show up for your family.

So, when I go on with this next part, I hope I sufficed in painting the background for my excitement of being enveloped by an even bigger family and the pleasure of being surrounded by that strong sibling bond I got to experience for the past 21 years.

Did I say summarize? Oops.

Well, when I met my husband, listening to him describe his relationship with his siblings excited me. It sounded like a tight-knit trio of two brothers and the little sister they watched out for.  I was introduced to the family during a birthday party for my husband’s nephew and I got to observe them up close and personal. I got to hear their stories and meet his brother’s wife as well as his sister. They all had this rich history full of hilarious stories with each other.  Their friends that they all shared were there as well with their own kids, sounding familiar? Everyone was laughing, smiling, and splashing about.  It was like a scene from a movie. It was all playing in slow motion with a yellow filter over the whole event and Follow Me by Uncle Kracker was playing in the background.

Over the years the resentments started to make their appearances. Seeing this really put things into perspective for me and I quickly realized that the relationship between them that my husband described must have been relevant when they were all way younger and in high school or before.  Because now they had friends, wives, in-laws, and kids.  These were outside influences that helped shape their sibling dynamic into the hell it is today. The brother my husband described as independent, outspoken, creative, enthusiastic, and laid-back was based on someone he was before he married his wife. The sister my husband described as wild, outgoing, carefree, untamed, opinionated with a sprinkle of bipolar tendencies was still all those things but now tainted by a drug-induced past her family would never let her escape from. She was constantly living under the shadow of her mother’s mistakes and her brother, sister-in-law and father rarely let her out into the sun.  The father my husband painted as the strong, caring, independent, and accomplished who raised three kids on his own was overshadowed by his hoarding tendencies he hoped would fill the hole his ex-wife left decades earlier when she abandoned the four of them because of her addictions. Yes, he was still carrying, so long as he didn’t have to face the conflicts amongst his children and daughter-in-law, those times he retreated into his sea of retail therapy that he’ll one day drown under until the problem is swept under the rug for someone else to handle.

I saw a family just as dysfunctional as my own, but in drastically different ways.  Regardless of all the water under their bridges, I still held out hope that because they were blood, they would still be there for each other in times of need.  I figured that since these problems were clearly here before I came along, it wouldn’t affect the possibility of being enveloped and embraced by more people that would have my back if I needed them and without say, I have theirs, because in my eyes, that’s what family did. I was wrong. I was very, very wrong. Over the years it became abundantly clear that my husband’s brother and his wife would only contact us when they needed something, otherwise we were not to depend on them. I firmly believe that had his wife not stood in his way, my husband’s brother would have been a fantastic sibling. To this day, anytime his brother calls him to go disc golfing or just to hang out, I urge my husband out the door to go, because it’s too rare an occasion to miss out on. Ironically, the little sister that my brother-in-law’s wife warned me about repeatedly, has become the one that I view as my sister. We have had our disagreements over the years, but we have gained a mutual respect. She’s also soared out of her mother’s shadow and continues to work hard everyday to be the one apple that falls far from that tree.  

I don’t want to mislead you all here, without going into much detail, their mother has since gotten her shit together and is doing better than we all could have imagined. She must constantly work at it every day, but she’s doing great. That’s the thing about parenting, we all want to make sure our kids don’t repeat our mistakes, we want our kids to find their own path, but we also want them to do better than we did. So, I know their mom couldn’t be offended with her daughter’s resentment of the pre-destined path her mother unintentionally laid before her. If anything, she’s proud that her daughter learned from her mistakes faster than she was able to. The best thing she could have done for her children was leave when she realized she couldn’t be the mother they deserved.   

The thing is, I’m pissed off that my husband is missing out on the bond him, and his brother could have had because his wife has a twisted perception of what family should be to one another. I feel bad for my husband, it’s not fair to him because all he’s ever wanted was strong ties with his brother and sister. He’s desperate to have the security of their support the same way he would love to support them. I don’t blame him for misleading me in his original description of his siblings and father.  It’s who they were and always will be in his eyes. He described them from a time he enjoyed their company the most. His and his sister’s relationship is slightly rocky sometimes but has otherwise remained consistent and handled with grace. I still hold out the same hope for him and his brother, but so long as he continues to let his wife stand in the way, there will always be that glimmer of a rift between the three of them.

As much as I wish I could speak my peace to each of them, I can’t. Sadly, after 9 years of “being a part of the family” I still feel like an outsider, and I’m not confident that will ever change. The waters are rising under the rickety bridges I was “allowed” to build, and that bridge is swaying heavily, and after everything between me and my husband’s sister-in-law, I think I’m content with that little bridge slowly decaying under the pressures of the rising waters she’s placed there.

Besides, come December, I will have a new sister-in-law that I can’t wait to embrace into the arms of my family!  I couldn’t have asked for a better wife to take care of my big brother, and she couldn’t have found a better man to protect and cherish her. We’ll get a long fantastically so long as she lets me continue to scare the shit out of my brother when the opportunity arises. After all, I was only 14 when our parent’s got together, I still have some time to make up for to be that annoying younger sister.

[storiesbyjes2g]

The divorce papers arrived, finally. Things had been going so well lately. Ali and I have a good rhythm despite trying to sever ties. The kids are adjusting well enough. My life is shaping up despite the odds against me. But I suppose I got comfortable with how things are. To be honest, I don't really think about the legal side of the divorce much, if at all. I'm not delusional. I'm well aware that I am separated from my husband. But having the papers in my hand, demanding I show up in court tomorrow, made all of it more real than it has ever been. I wasn't ready. Isn't that funny? All the work I've done on myself to be a fit parent and provide for my family, and I'm still not ready.

To make matters worse, this happened right before my weekly counseling session. Maybe it was a good thing that I was upset. It gave her a good place to start since we had not yet discussed the details of the affair. I gave her the highlights to set the foundation and let her ask questions. Naturally, she wanted to know how Ali and I met. I hadn't talked about that night at the bar in ages. His voice was like a siren calling my name. And when we locked eyes, I was toast. There was no one else in the world for me at that point. Don't get me wrong. Ali is an exceptionally beautiful man, but it wasn't just about his looks. There was some kind of connection between us. He felt it too!

From there I moved onto our friendship that quickly turned into a marriage, seeing as we didn't date very long. The counselor wanted to know more about our brief courtship, so I gave her the same speech I gave him and my mother when I tried to convince them both that we should get married. Ali was hesitant. He operates at a slower pace than me, but I was so determined to win him over. And Mommy knew better than to oppose me. I didn't back down when I wanted Shiloh, and I certainly wouldn't back down for the man of my dreams.

The counselor fast forwarded through the wedding and babies to the affair and asked the dreaded question. Why did I do it? Ali is everything I ever wanted. We were a great team. He's kind, a wonderful dad, an even better lover, and fine as hell. Why would I let an old fling interfere with that? Originally, I thought it was a simple matter of giving into temptation. But now I've been told I was the temptress. That still stings, and I halfway believe it. The counselor wanted some background on Dwayne, so I told her about our friendship and the jungle rumbles. But by the end of that story, our time was up until next week.

After I hung up, I ran to the shower to wash away the last 30 minutes of my life. True, I should probably sit with my feelings and figure out the answer to the million dollar question, but I don't want to. I'm not ready to admit whatever the actual truth is! I know that's bad, and I should figure that out so I can move on with my life completely, but I'm just not ready.

I plopped in front of the TV, determined to fill my mind with idle junk for the rest of the evening, but someone knocked at the door. It took me a while to recognize her, but it was Gemma's daughter, all grown up and looking way too much like her father. I never knew what Gemma saw in Max Villareal. I guess she said the same thing about Dwayne. The girl smiled widely, dressed like a fairy. I totally forgot it was Spooky Day. That is certainly one holiday no one cares about until they have children. I gave her a piece of candy because I'm friends with her mother, but not every child who showed up at my door was so lucky.

Kids can't be the only ones having fun, right? Besides, it's a life lesson, tee hee hee. Life is not a bucket full of treats, kids! Sometimes, there are tricks.

Later, the children stopped coming, so I returned to the living room to resume my stall tactics. I flipped through the channels 18 times, convinced I was searching for something good to watch, all the while knowing I'd never find anything. I wasn't in the mood to enjoy anything, really. The point was to keep my brain occupied until I went to bed, but it was no use. My marriage is officially over tomorrow. I'm not ok.

#ISBI challenge #ts4 story #sims 4 story #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 gameplay #sims story #sims stories #adolting #Emerald Pope #adolting gen 2

[vespertinetears]

hiii, can i request; she/her, suna, Jamais vu: From the French, meaning "never seen". The illusion that the familiar does not seem familiar. The opposite of the feeling of "dejà vu."

JAMAIS VU !

☄ pairing — R. Suna x fem!reader

☄ word count — 678

reblogs appreciated – do not repost and/or claim as your own.

Rintarou didn't know exactly what it was that threw his mind into a spiral. Was it the ambient lights strung up around the lush plot of land that he rented out for the occasion? He had squinted at them thoughtfully and determined that, yes, they were indeed a factor. But they weren't the only thing, and his mind wasn't satisfied with concluding that an episode of such strong disbelief was caused by lights, of all things.

Looking around from where he stood, he noted the three rows of foldable chairs separated into two sections by one long makeshift aisle, its grassy edges littered with flower petals. Could it have been a strange wave of anticipation for the people who were going to sit in those chairs? That most certainly had something to do with it, considering the fact that these people weren't the ones that he'd catch fleeting glimpses of on the court and never count on seeing again. No, some of these seats were placed for trusted friends and only the closest of his family members...but that just wasn't the number one reason he felt so mystified. What could it be?

That's when he saw you not within the little ocean of peering eyes, but at the end of the aisle. You had worn your chosen attire, and he was reminded once again, in that moment, that you had this strange tendency to look absolutely immaculate in whatever it was you threw over your skin. He knew you often disagreed, pleaded with him that he must have been crazy—delusional, even—to think such a thing, but there was no convincing him otherwise. You were simply...beautiful.

"...Tarou," he had heard you say, but your voice was a little too murky for him to really grasp it. Was there something else he had missed? Carefully scanning your face, he noted the soft crinkles in the corners of your eyes and the hint of anxiety in your little grin. Good, he thought bluntly, she's just as much of a nervous wreck as I am. He must have shown some outward sign of teasing amusement, because you had raised an eyebrow and mouthed something else.

Then it clicked. Rather than isolate the factors and analyze what it was about them that made him feel so strange on the inside, Rintarou had to put them all together—this was a wedding. No, he corrected himself, looking around with wide eyes. This is my wedding—our wedding. His stunned gaze had found you once more, and this time, he took you in as a whole. He saw the beautiful clothing donning the body he loved to hold close to him at night, the eyes he would childishly look away from when they caught him staring, the hands that soothed his own when he came home with calloused hands—he saw you, yes, but the glow closely surrounding your frame and the glitter in your eyes told him a different story, one that swept him off his feet...

Did Rintarou make you this happy?

It took him forever, he knew, but he eventually managed to say, "...What are you doing here?"

There was the faraway sound of laughter, but it didn't come from him or from you. "That's not exactly something you ask your bride, Rin," he heard you tell him, and it was your voice that suddenly hurled him back into reality. His steady heartbeat, once stalled by the single breath he kept trapped in his body, pounded ferociously against his chest as if to punish him; his hands clammed up and clenched into fists, the skin on his knuckles yellowing from the tension. This moment, one that had taken months to plan and years prior to even dare fantasizing about, was real.

Now, a few years later, Rintarou still occasionally finds himself in the same fog that jumbled his brain and confused him to no end that wondrous day. It's no condition, that much is certain, but he has the symptoms of a lovesick, dumbstruck man. Who's he kidding, though?

He wouldn't have it any other way.

okay, this honestly might be one of my favorites out of all I've done for this ask game. I hope you like it, anon! thanks so much for sending this cute (and challenging) ask <3

ask game status —

OPEN !

#— vespertinetears #// abominations #— ask games #— mailbox #ft. lovely anon! #haikyuu! #haikyuu x reader #rintarou suna #rintarou suna x reader #suna rintarou #suna rintarou x reader #rintarou #rintarou x reader #suna #suna x reader #fem!reader

[hoeforminhoee]

<Forget Me Not>

(not my image!)

➳ pairing: Lee Know x female reader ➳ genre: fluff, angst (if you squint real hard), husband!leeknow au, Slice of Life ➳ warnings: mentions of Alzheimer’s, miscarriage and trauma ➳ word count: 2.4K ➳ author’s note: This is the first fic I’ve written in almost 4 years and I’m rusty as hell I really hope you guys like it♡ฅ(=・ᆽ・ฅ=) (also please spare me if its bad, I tried hahaha)

I listened to my uwufeels.com spotify playlist while writing this! So check it out if you guys wanna! 

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You don't know how long it had been since this recurring dream started, where you find yourself sitting in a wheelchair in a quaint garden overlooking a small lake. You were confused, to say the least.

It felt like an out-of-body experience, yet everything felt so real.

Your eyes traveled down to your hands as you let out a sigh and cursed under your breath.“These hands look way too wrinkly for a 23-year-old! What kind of dream is this?” 

Looking around, you saw a few other people in the garden. Some of them in wheelchairs like yourself, and others on the benches under the cherry blossom trees, all wearing the same lilac striped gown. 

You quickly realized that this had to be a hospital of some sort. 

Why were you in a hospital, and why does this particular hospital always appear in all your dreams? Sometimes you would be 16, 23, or even 50 years old in your dreams, but you were always in the same hospital and the same lilac gown.

Your eyes fluttered shut as you sat there, lost in your thoughts, reveling in the warm spring air that smelt of petrichor. You hummed to the sound of the magpies chirping and watched as the cherry blossom petals danced in the breeze, a few of them landing in your hair.

Suddenly, you felt a pair of hands in your hair - presumably picking out the fallen petals. You spun around and peered over your shoulders and were shocked when you came face to face with a man in his 70s. He looked at you intently, with a small smile adorning his face. And if you looked closely, maybe you would have seen his eyes flash a tinge of melancholy.

The man immediately regained his composure. His eyes softened and resumed picking the petals out from your hair.

“Sorry if I startled you, my dear” The man let out an amused chuckle.

You couldn’t quite put your finger on it, but there was a weird sense of familiarity with this man. 

Then it clicked. 

“Dad?” you gasped, and the elderly man burst out in a fit of laughter.

He then quickly shook his head while trying his best to calm down before putting his hand next to your ear, and whispered: "My name is Minho, and I think I may have a crush on you

Your eyes widened in shock and you moved away from the man.

You were certain that the man, Minho, was a delusional old man who enjoyed flirting with girls 50 years his junior. 

Before you could even retort, a nurse was walking towards you. “Mrs. Lee, it’s time for lunch!” The nurse called out as he smiled at you and Minho. 

You peeked at the nurse's name tag and tugged at his shirt while Minho wasn't looking. "Nurse Jisung, I think this man is crazy. He just told me that he has a crush on me! And I'm barely half his age!" 

Jisung held in his laughter but couldn't help let a chortle escape "Did he tell you that? Well, Mrs. Lee, you'd better make your move quickly! Mr. Lee's sure popular around here!" Your face contorted at Jisung's response.

Well, you guess Jisung wasn’t wrong after all. As you were being wheeled back into your ward, you noticed some ahjummas looking at you and Minho enviously.

Minho walked next to Jisung, asking the nurse about his wife, and you figured that Minho’s wife was probably also in this hospital.

Then, things got weird when Minho followed you into your private ward.

“Uh, excuse me 어르신…” (eoreushin: how people usually address an Elderly in Korean)

Minho looked up at you, hurt evident in his eyes, but you didn’t know why.

“Yes Y/N?” He plopped himself onto a plush chair next to your bed and held onto your hands.

You haven’t had the chance to look at Minho up close, but dang, you had to admit that he was handsome and charming even at this ripe old age.

You didn’t speak as you looked into his eyes.

These eyes. You were sure you’ve seen these eyes somewhere before.

You watched, as the golden specks in his hazel brown eyes sparkled under the ray of sunlight streaming in from the large french windows. You couldn’t explain why you were feeling the way you felt, god you really couldn’t. 

You held your gaze on him for what felt like an eternity. Everything about this peculiar old man felt so familiar, yet foreign at the same time. 

Think, Y/N. Think! Where have you seen this man before? Why can’t you remember?

Your hands flew to your head as you started panicking.

Why can't you remember? Who is this man? Why does he know my name?

Minho rushed to your side when he noticed you shaking and panicking. 

He pulled you into a hug and started stroking your hair.

“It’s ok Y/N ah, It’s ok. I’m here, don’t be scared.” 

Why was this scene so familiar?

- Fall of 2033 -

You sat on the examination bed, looking at the foliage outside, heart-thumping while holding onto Minho’s hand.

It was your first ultrasound after hitting your second trimester and both you and Minho were so excited to see how big your baby has gotten.

Your ob-gyn reclined the examination bed and began applying the ultrasound gel on your belly and Minho squeezed your hand, sending you a reassuring smile. 

This wasn’t your first ultrasound since you were pregnant, so you knew something was wrong when the ob-gyn spent almost an hour on your ultrasound. 

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t terrified, but you tried to calm yourself down.

Minho slung his arms around you and drew small circles on your shoulders. “I’m sure everything is going to be ok, Y/N ah. They probably just wanted a more detailed scan or something. Don’t worry too much baby, I’m here.” and he placed a small kiss on the back of your hand.

The ob-gyn sat you back down in her office and your worst fears were confirmed.

“I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Lee. We couldn’t detect your baby's heartbeat.”

Your world came to a standstill. It was like everything was moving in slow motion.

You haven’t fully processed your miscarriage until you were sat on a hospital bed, waiting for your abortion. You were shaking and sobbing violently in Minho’s arms.

“It’s ok Y/N ah, It’s ok. I’m here, don’t be scared. It’s ok, we can get through this together. 

I love you.” he kisses your forehead and rests his chin on your head, silently sobbing.

- End of flashback -

You sat there in Minho’s embrace, confused. 

That wasn’t my memory, was it?

“Minho?” you squeaked, voice small and hoarse.

“Yes, baby? Are you ok?” Minho bent down and looked into your eyes, searching for any signs of anxiety, and was relieved to see that you have calmed down a little.

“You’re my husband, Minho?” You finally saw Minho smile ear to ear for the first time that day.

“You remember! You remember me today!” He stood up, pulling you along with him, and twirled you around before giving you a soul-crushing hug.

Placing both his hands on your cheeks, he looked at you like you were the only person that mattered to him in this world. You noticed tears threatening to fall from his eyes and you pulled the sleeves of your cardigan over your knuckles and wiped them away.

Minho chuckled a little, before placing a small kiss on your forehead.

“Y/N ah, look what I got you!”  Minho said excitedly as he pulled out a bouquet of little blue flowers from a paper bag.

“Forget-me-not,” both of you said at the same time.

You looked up at Minho and he looked so content, you couldn’t help but smile.

Maybe this wasn’t that bad of a dream, or so you thought.

It wasn’t until you went to sleep every day and you could not wake up from this dream, no matter how hard you tried. You woke up in the hospital every day and you didn’t know what to do. What if this was reality? You were scared and you just wanted to go home. 

You were visibly anxious and scared when the nurse, what was his name again? Right, Jisung. Jisung came to check up on you when he heard some commotion coming from your ward. 

When he walked in, he found you thrashing around, throwing all your belongings into a bag, and throwing cups and utensils onto the ground.

“Mrs. Lee! What’s wrong Mrs. Lee?”

Jisung tried to hold onto you but you were adamant about going home. 

You scanned the room to check if you missed anything. Then you looked down and opened the cabinet right next to your bed and were shocked at what you saw.

There were hundreds of post-it notes stuck all over the cabinet.

You stretched your hand out and picked out one post-it note.

“I Love You, Y/N ah. I will remember you even when the day comes when you don’t remember me. - Minho”

You picked out another note:

“Y/N ah, today was our 40th wedding anniversary. You didn’t seem to remember me today, but I will remind you every day for the rest of my life if I have to, about how much I love you. I love you, Mrs. Lee Y/N! - Minho”

“Y/N ah, it’s been 3 years since I’ve brought you a bouquet of forget-me-nots every day, in hope that you will never forget me. Is it working? I think it is! Sometimes you even call me yeobo like you used to! I love you so much Y/N - Minho”

“Y/N ah, it's been so long since I have been living without you and I miss you so much. But I’m content with being able to see you every single day here. Please don’t forget me, Y/N ah. I love you - Minho”

You slowly placed the post-it notes back into the cabinet and looked up at Jisung.

He could tell that you were a little confused, so he sat you down on your bed before beginning to explain.

“Mr. Lee has been writing and leaving a note for you every single day for the past 3 years.”

He said while picking up the things you thrashed onto the ground.

“He has been visiting you every single day, no matter rain or shine. And he always brought you a bouquet of forget-me-nots” Jisung looked at you with a small smile.

“But why do I not remember him?” You asked, throat dry and tears trickling down your face.

“Mrs. Lee, you have Alzheimer's disease. The doctor thinks that it was an early onset triggered by your trauma from your miscarriages.” Jisung explained calmly.

Everything made sense from then on. The recurring dreams and the odd flashbacks that didn’t seem to be my memories. The sense of familiarity that Minho radiated, all made sense.

- Spring of 2023 - 

You fluffed out your white dress and looked at yourself in the mirror before sitting down, letting out a nervous sigh.

"Y/N ah it's me, mom. Can I come in?"

"Yeah mom, come on in" You checked yourself for the last time before walking to the door.

"Oh my gosh, my beautiful baby! I can't believe you're already getting married!"

"Mom! Don't cry, you're making me cry!" you giggled while trying to hold in your tears.

Right then, the door opened and dad walked in and you caught the tears shining in his eyes.

"Oh god, not you too dad!"

When the time arrived for you to walk down the aisle, you nervously looked around for a mirror to check that everything was in place as you smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles on your dress.

"Darling, relax," dad said while patting your shoulders. 

"You know I never really liked any of your exes-"

"Dad!" you giggled, not knowing where this conversation was going.

"But I knew he was the right one for you since the first day I met him. So don't be nervous. He really loves you, Y/N ah" 

Once the doors to the garden opened and you started walking down the aisle with your dad, you saw Minho in a clean black suit at the end of the aisle, and you started tearing up.

I love him so much, and I'm so happy I get to spend the rest of my life with him.

Minho saw you walk down the aisle and he covered his mouth with both his hands and started tearing up as soon as you did.

How did you two get so lucky to have found each other?

“I see these vows not as promises but as privileges: I get to laugh with you and cry with you; care for you and share with you. I get to run with you and walk with you; build with you and live with you.

I get to have you be the person I spend the rest of my life with. I get to be there for you and support you."

"In sickness and in health, till death do us part"

"I love you, Lee Y/N," Minho said, before placing the sweetest kiss on your lips.

- End of flashback -

There was a knock on the door before it slid open, and Minho stepped into the ward and greeted you.

"How's my Mrs. Lee doing today?" He smiled brightly before replacing the bouquet of forget-me-nots from yesterday with a fresh bouquet he brought.

You stood up and ran towards him, pulling him into a hug.

"Minho, I remember you. You're Minho, my husband Minho!"

Minho almost drops the flowers but he sets them aside and hugged you back.

"Y/N ah..." His voice cracked but you could tell that he was smiling.

You pulled away from the hug and looked down at your feet "I'm sorry, Minho"

Minho shook his head "Why're you sorry, baby?"

"For making you go through being forgotten by the love of your life every single day. I'm sorry, Minho." You finished your sentence with a sob.

Minho wrapped his arms around you and pulled you back into another hug.

"Y/N ah"

"Hmm?" You sniffed.

"Remember when you were first diagnosed with Alzheimer's? You said that you were scared of forgetting me. And remember what I told you?" Minho said while stroking your hair like he always did.

"You told me that you will be here for me, to remind me every single day for the rest of your life if you had to."

"And do you remember our wedding vows?" Minho cupped your cheeks and made you look at him.

"In sickness and in health, till death do us part."

"I love you, Lee Y/N, and I always will," Minho said, before placing a kiss on your lips.

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♡author’s note: That’s it guys! I hope you guys enjoyed this fic. ISTG i’ll write something more lighthearted soon lolol (or you guys can send in your requests anytime!) Stay safe wherever you are!♡ also if the year of the wedding and the wedding anniversary doesn’t add up i’m SORRY i can’t math sksksksksks

#first fic in forever #i really hope y’all like it #stray kids #stray kids ot8 #skz #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #lee know fluff #lee know angst #lee know #stray kids scenarios #chan #seungmin #changbin #han #stray kids slice of life #jisung #jeongin #hyunjin #lee felix #stray kids angst #kpop #kpop imagines #kpop angst