Could I request Medic having The Mom Grip on Scout’s shoulder after the speedy moron almost let a mercenary secret slip while they weee getting groceries?
Three Europeans and two Americans walk into a grocery store in New Mexico.
I hope this is the right meme.
More silliness below.
This comic is the antithesis of the "wtf is a kilometre" joke.
The faces they make when they can't quite identify the type of brown bread in the bread aisle.
You don't know how [insert nationality here] you are until you go overseas and things are different.
Spy obviously has no problems with pretending to know how much a gallon of milk is, he just peeks into his conversion chart notes, pretending it's his shopping list.
I want to think Heavy is completely fine with having to readjust to a new unit system, he just eyeballs most practical things anyways by holding them up and mumbling about how they approximately weigh like a chicken or his kettle bell etc. He's always been living in practical ignorant bliss.
Medic has a peer reviewed meltdown the first time he realises there's no uniformity in "a cup of ____" because every object has different densities. He's diligent about memorising the conversion rates for ounces, pounds, the most common things etc., and recovers ok. He goes through the same stages of grief rage when he finds out about distances and lengths.
Just remember four inches are 10.16 cm and pray no one asks you to specify anything bigger than inches.
Everyone does a mental victory lap when they manage to guess how much Celsius the weather is because they keep forgetting it's Celsius*5/9+32=Fahrenheit, Engineer reminds them patiently.
The true victories are the correct temperature guesses we've made along the way.
One time, a friend asked me if I actually knew how much a tablespoon of flour was in gramms to convince me that metric users also make use of volume based units without thinking about them. But little did she know a heaped spoonful of 405 flour is about 15g and a level tablespoon is 10g.
They claim Oolong just tastes better when it's boiled to 80°C exactly with a Bunsen burner.
You only asked for one scene but somehow I came up with a bunch of other things. This post was drawn across 2 months so the artstyle is all over the place. Thanks for your ask!
1K notes
·
View notes
thinking about chan with a fleshlight ??! you got it for him as a gag gift, cause he'd always come to you to tell you about how every time he tried to muster up the courage to hook up, it never worked out. he just couldn't bring himself to do it, never really understood what all the hype was about. "just get a fleshlight, then," you'd say mindlessly, and he'd always just laugh it off. but now you'd actually bought him one as a prank, ordered it online and had it shipped to his house, all wrapped up like a christmas present. it was all jokes at first, and he had it stored in his closet somewhere, completely forgetting about it for a long time. but he had to admit, the thought of actually using it had crossed his mind a few times. there was no harm in just trying it, right? sure, it might not feel like the real deal, but still ... he was curious. and stressed. and there was only one thing that he knew would really help him relieve said stress. so here he is, currently rolling his hips into the toy, just the tip for now. he moves slowly, tentatively, not wanting to bottom out all at once. it's a pretty tight squeeze around his already rock hard cock as he sinks it down a little more, since it's brand new, and he knows that if he moves too fast, he'll cum too soon. it takes a few more slow thrusts to get it to fit around him perfectly, and that first real thrust into it is like heaven. he was wrong about it not feeling like the real thing—in fact, it kinda feels better. but his only concern at this moment is: why is he thinking about you, his best friend, while fucking into this toy? the toy that you'd gotten for him as a joke? what would you think if you knew that it wasn't really much of a joke anymore? and what if you knew he's already cum inside of it several times in a row at the thought of you?
1K notes
·
View notes
Heyyy! If you’re open for requests, there’s this TikTok that I saw where a pregnant lady had her husband lift her heavy belly for a few minutes and it gave her some relief. I somehow could see Mingyu do that. His wife having a hard time getting used to her growth and him trying his best to help her 🫠🫠🫠
baby
⇢ mingyu x reader, 1k, fluff, domestic au
⇢ warnings: pregnancy, "baby" as a term of endearment, mingyu being his usually sweet self (mostly), established relationship
"This is all your fault, you know."
At the sharp tone of your words, Mingyu looks up from his phone.
"This," you gesture at yourself, at the unmistakable way your stomach now protrudes, a little larger each day as time creeps closer to your due date. "This baby is already huge and we're not even halfway there. It's all your fault, Kim Mingyu. You and your—your stupidly big bones and your long limbs and your giant frame and, and—"
It's another empty complaint, that's all. Lately that's been much of what comes out of your mouth the moment your sore feet touch the floor, having to support your new weight, and when you're rushing to the bathroom again after just having left it. And when you hear Mingyu's mom lament about how heavy he was at birth, you don't even want to think about how the next few months are going to go.
This pregnancy is both a blessing and a curse.
You get up from your chair, eager to crawl into bed and let sleep magically melt away your problems if it comes at all tonight. But before you can take a single step, Mingyu is there. It takes him two steps to cross the room and come to your side, and while he usually wears a big smile whenever he looks your way, now it's been completely replaced with a frown. A solemn expression.
"I'm sorry, baby," he says softly, gingerly pulling you into a hug.
"W-what? What are you apologizing for?"
"All of it."
You take a step back and try to wiggle out of his arms so you can properly read his expression. "Hey, I was just joking—"
"Y/N," he says, shaking his head as he loosens his arms, "it's hard going through all this alone. You know I would help if I could."
He's being genuine—that much you can see, but that makes you all the more concerned. Is there something going on? What does he mean? So much of your attention has been focused on preparing for the baby ever since finding out the good news that you hardly had a moment to stop and consider his feelings in all of this, and for a second your heart drops at the thought that there might be something wrong.
Mingyu's never been one to hide anything though. He always wears his heart on his sleeve and speaks without a filter—which is only a bad thing when he showers you with overly cheesy compliments—and even now, one look in his eyes tells you exactly what you want to know. You can see the excitement floating in his eyes, the absolute adoration at the start of this new chapter in your lives, the nerves of being a parent for the first time.
But also mixed in there is a ton of guilt.
While none of it is his fault, you can tell that he's feeling the immense guilt of watching you suffer to bring a child into this world while he is, well, still very much his regular self.
"Mingyu, you are helping. You've been doing all the cooking and running around to get me whatever I'm craving, which has been a lot these days. You set up the baby's room all on your own, and then there are your massages—I'm going to get so used to having this luxury that I'll be asking for them even after all this."
His frown only deepens. "Baby, that's not enough. I hate seeing you in pain and being unable to do anything about it. I wish I could take it from you."
"Hey, look at me." You heave a sigh, reaching to take his face between your hands. "I'm fine, Mingyu. You know how strong I am, right? I can handle it. In fact, you should worry more about what this kid might do in the future."
"Knowing the two of us, that's probably true." He wavers for a second before a smile starts to creep onto his face, but he holds it back, almost shyly. "Y/N, can I try something?"
"Like what?"
Mingyu steps closer until the space between you diminishes, leaving only your belly pressed against his. Then in one motion, he takes his hands and carefully places them under your belly, and then lifts.
"Does this help at all?" he asks, face gleaming with tentative hope.
You slowly relax into his hands and take notice of how everything shifts. The weight pressing on your bladder is alleviated immediately, and your sore lower back feels much better. Even your feet aren't quite as in pain as before. "Yeah, actually. This helps a lot. Thank you, baby."
"Good. Then I'll do this for you all day." Then he nuzzles even closer to you, burying his face in the crook of your neck as you wrap your arms around him as much as you can. There's still too much space between you with the baby in the way, but when you close your eyes and listen to the sound of Mingyu's steady breaths, it's enough to spread a warmth in your heart that takes you back to the early days of your relationship.
"Hey, Y/N?" Mingyu pulls back slightly to look at you.
"Hmm?"
"Do you really think we should be worrying about how our kid might turn out? What they might be like?"
You study him, looking beyond the spark of anxiety in his eyes. "Well, yeah, but they'll be fine. Trust me, if they have your genes, they'll basically be perfect already. You were a perfect kid."
"I guess I kind of was." He stays still for a moment, but when he meets your eyes again, there's a mischievous smile threatening to creep across his lips. "Yeah, see, I wasn't exactly worried that the kid might turn out like me."
"Hey, Kim Mingyu!"
260 notes
·
View notes
i just want to mark up dr ratio’s pretty little body, his probably flawless skin coloured red with bite marks, almost purple from bruising. how pretty his butt would redden after just a few spanks, a cute blush on his pale skin.
he’d try his best to swallow down the whines that threaten to escape, forcing himself not to look away as if it admits defeat. but that’s fine, because you’d prefer to look into his eyes as you push yourself into him. excruciatingly slow and bigger than what you told him; your grip keeps him from turning away, shuddering breaths as he feels his walls stretching to accommodate the size.
“you lied,” his voice quivered, eyes flickering down between your bodies and back up to your piercing gaze.
“just because the truth isn’t what you expected doesn’t mean it’s a lie,” you laughed. “veritas, you know that.”
he grits his teeth, sucking in air when you push the remaining length fully into him, relishing in the way he struggles to get used to the feeling. but you don’t give him time, instead pulling out and thrusting back in in one fluid motion. the high-pitched moan that escapes his mouth surprises even the Guild member himself, an arm flying up to cover his mouth.
“well,” you breathed out, voice filled with amusement, “you would’ve known—”
a wicked smile on your lips as you thrusted your hips, again and again, “that the arrogant.”
“self-centred.” another hard push.
“doctor.” and another.
“veritas.” and another.
“ratio.” a final thrust directly hitting his prostate, the throbbing bundle of nerves sending shocks up his body. every buck of your hips eliciting yet another whiny moan, shaky breaths as he tries to compose himself to no avail. and finally, you give him a break, cock pressed deep inside him while the doctor squeezes his eyes shut.
“could make such cute sounds,” you sneered, ripping his arm from over his face to expose how red he’s gotten.
for all his intelligence and knowledge gathered from his studies, veritas ratio could not utter a single word against you—afraid that the only thing that would leave his lips is begs for you to keep going.
but his hips trembled terribly, his walls twitching and squeezing around you. you didn’t need words to know how badly he ached; his body was honest enough, with the way his cock leaked a puddle of precum onto his belly already.
slowly, you started moving again, dragging against his sensitive walls. relief floods his face at the crumbs of stimulation, already feeling the familiar heat in his lower belly building up quickly.
his mouth hangs open, panting heavily as he nears the high he so badly craves. with hands nearly tearing the sheets, the venerable doctor arches his back, toes curling tight as a searing heat fills his lower body. the whimpers that left his throat are barely registered, rapidly losing control of his own body with every push of your hips. he grits his teeth and…
nothing.
he nearly chokes from the anticipation, and now it’s been violently ripped from him as all traces of your touch leaves his body. the timing was perfect. his cock drips with cum and yet his body felt cold, twitching.
you watched on with a cruel chuckle; how he writhes on the bed, how pathetic he looks after having his orgasm ruined. a slap to his still hard and aching cock jolts him back to reality, wondering just what else do you plan to do to him.
306 notes
·
View notes