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jawritter · 4 years

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Happy Halloween

Summary: It’s Daddy’s favorite holiday. So what’s a good girl gonna do, but let him blow off some steam after a successful hunt?

Warnings: Daddy kink, hair pulling, consensual name calling, Dom!Dean, Sub!Reader, spanking, light edging, orgasm control, language, rough sex, oral (male receiving), mouth fucking, hint of a pain kink maybe? I think that’s about it. This is just porn with a crack ass plot. I’m not sorry lol.

Word Count: 3092

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

A/N: You guys ask for some Daddy!Dean for Kinktober? Well, who can say no to that? This fic was beta’d by the amazing @deanwanddamons! Thanks so much hun! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! Hope you guys enjoy this one!

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Dean had always been the aggressive sort. He didn’t take shit from very many people, and if you were one of those who he did take it from, you counted yourself as lucky. He’d even gone off on Sam more than once, and Sam could get away with more than most.

It was one of the side effects of dealing with the life that you all were thrust into when you were just children. Your father had been hunting partners with John for years, off and on, when you were children, so you had known the Winchesters for a very long time, long enough to know you did NOT push your luck with the eldest Winchester.

Even though Dean was always hard in a sense, there was a time when he wasn’t as hard as he is today. Back then, the hardest thing he had to do in his life was impress John Winchester, and that had been more challenging than any monster he’d ever faced.

Life was as simple then. A vamps nest, the occasional Djinn.You killed the monsters, you saved a few lives. That time was long gone for the both of you. John's death had opened up a whole new world of monsters, demons and dick angels. Things that you weren’t prepared for, and neither was Dean. Dean spent what was only four months to you, but was forty years to him in Hell. Literal Hell. Sam jumped in the cage with Lucifer. Life became a downward spiral that just went on and on, until you found yourselves here today.

God had it in for you.The son of Lucifer was dressed as the Devil, courtesy of Dean’s twisted amusement, in the backseat of the Impala he’d deemed “Baby” years ago. You were on your way to a Halloween party that was expected to go south thanks to one of those rare simple vamps nest your unconventional group had been investigating.

“Dean, I don’t know about this,” Jack said, looking at his own reflection in the rearview mirror where he caught the look of Dean's amused gaze. The red paint on the boys face was a little much in your opinion, but hey, you weren’t in charge of this shitshow, so you decided to keep your trap fucking shut.

“It’s simple Jack,” Dean said.You could almost hear the smirk in his voice, and you were determined to look dead ahead of you, and not in the backseat where you would probably die laughing. “You go to the party, just stand back, watch, find a chick maybe. I don’t give a fuck, but just make sure that no vamp gets inside that fucking house until Y/N and I can take care of the mother fuckers. If one does show itself, lure it out to us, and we will take care of it.”

Dean made it sound so simple, and you could only imagine how nervous Jack was. He didn’t have the conventional upbringing of most people as it was. Technically, he wasn’t even 12 yet, he was just advanced because of his race, and somethings just didn’t come quite so naturally to Jack as Dean had thought that it should. That, or Dean just didn’t give a shit, because he was never really going to forgive him for Mary’s death. He just wasn’t.

“You will be fine Jack. Just keep a low profile, and watch out for vamps. Dean and I can take care of the rest,” you told him in what you hoped was an encouraging tone. “This will be a piece of cake, and we will be back at the hotel before you know it.”

Jack fell quiet as he looked at the landscape flying past the backseat window, and your eyes trailed Dean's still amused face as he drove down the farm road to the old ranch house the teenagers were attending for tonight's festivities.

Dean loved Halloween. It was one of the only holidays that he really did enjoy. Sam, on the other hand? Well, Sam hated it, and when Dean found this case, Sam decided to stay behind with Eileen while you, Dean, Jack took care of this small little case that was only three states over.

Dean had tried to convince you to dress up for the occasion, but quickly changed his mind when you told him that there was not a chance in hell you could hide a machete in the slutty nurse costume he’d picked out for you. That’s how the plan to dress Jack up , and place him in the party watching the party goers was born.

You and Dean had a history.That history had started when he’d taken your virginity when you were only 18 years old. Every time you got a chance after that, you found yourselves between the sheets, in the back seat, and against the walls of bars in dark alleyways. Dean had a “healthy appetite”, and even in his forties he still carried the stamina of a horny teenage boy. You weren’t complaining either.

Somewhere around thirty, he’d discovered his Dom fetish, and that literally fucking ruined all other men for you. You should have known Dean’s “take no shit” attitude would have translated over into the bedroom eventually. It was the one place he could have complete control, and the one place he could let off steam with someone he trusted.That someone was you.

Since tonight was his favorite holiday, you had decided when this small little hunt was over, Dean would get to see you in that slutty nurse costume he’d wanted you to wear so bad. After all, daddy always gets what he wants, and that’s why you had jumped up and suggested the kid get his own room.

You watched the sky turn dark as Dean speed towards the party and the hunt, your mind on just what Dean was going to say when he discovered you had kept the costume.

Three hours later, you found yourself standing in the hotel room that you and Dean would be sharing for the night, staring down at the nurse’s outfit on the bed before quickly sliding the towel that was covering your body to the floor, and picking up the costume. You only had a few minutes before Dean would be done with his shower, and he’d already ordered you to be in position when he returned to the room. He just didn’t know about the costume.

Dean was usually in a good mood after a good hunt, and this hunt was the first easy thing they’d done in a long time, so therefore Dean was in a very good mood.

You had just slipped the last strap over your shoulder, and got into the kneeling position on the bed that he required you to be in when waiting for him, when you heard the shower cut off, and the door to the bathroom open.

The room was dark.The only light that came into the room was coming from the bathroom and it flooded the small room as Dean rounded the corner to see his prize. Judging from the predatory growling sound he made when he saw you waiting for him, he was very pleased, but you knew better than to look up from your submissive stance and make eye contact without permission. Dean wasn’t going to take your shit, and you wanted to cum tonight. Slick already gathered itself between your spread thighs in anticipation of what was to come, and Dean hadn’t even laid a hand on you yet.

Dean’s eyes shamelessly raked over you as he made his way towards the bed.You could feel his piercing gaze, even though you couldn’t see it, and you waited with bated breath for Dean’s approval, which came in the form of the Dean’s rough thumb reaching out, and running across your red painted lips. You reached your tongue out and swept over the tip of his thumb, twirling it around this thick digit as if it were his cock before sucking it into your mouth, and letting it go with a pop.

Dean groaned at the sensation as he watched your lips around his thumb, and his dick twitched in interest as his eyes roamed the barely there costume that you were wearing for him.

“Such a good little slut, waiting for Daddy, all dressed up so pretty,” Dean said, his rough voice causing a shiver to visibly roll through your body, and land in your already aching cunt.

Dean chuckled at the reaction and he brushed his fingers through your hair, tucking it behind your ear to get a better view of your face. It was a move that was almost too intimate for what was to come, but it was his way of asking you if you trusted him and you did.You trusted Dean with your life.

When he noticed you lean into his touch, it was the only permission he seemed to need. That and the high adrenaline made him more impatient than what he would have normally been . His large hand fisted your hair almost painfully as he jerked your eyes up to meet his darkened gaze. His bare chest and body was on display for you, as his hard length twitched on its own from it’s proud position. A bead of precum was already forming at the tip, and you licked your lips as you watched it bob there. He needed this. He needed this just as much as you did tonight, and damn, you wanted to taste him so bad.

His eyes followed your gaze, and if you would have not forgone the underwear you were sure that the smirk he gave you would have melted them clean off your already overly heated body.

“What is it, sweetheart? Daddy’s little cock slut wants to have a taste before I ruin that pretty little pussy of yours tonight?”

The needy wine that left you lips wasn’t the answer Dean was looking for, so he gripped your hair impossibly tighter, and growled as he looked down at your form as you all but squirmed underneath him.

“Use your words. I want to hear you beg for it,’ Dean said, lowering his face so close to your own that his lips brushed yours with every word, and his whiskey kissed breath fanned warm over your skin.

“Please Daddy, please let me suck your cock, I’ll be a good girl, please let me taste you,” you begged him in a small voice that surprised even you. Dean’s mouth meet yours in a clash of lips, tongue and teeth that ended with his perfectly straight teeth sinking into your lower lips before he pulled away to soon, leaving you breathless and at his mercy, his grip still tight in your hair as he guided you to his impressive length before tapping your mouth with his swollen tip.

Reaching out with your tongue you lick softly at his dripping slit. The salty taste of his precome filled your mouth, and you moaned as he gave your hair a sharp jerk, sending the jolt from your scalp to your pussy, that was literally dripping down your leg onto the already stained bed sheets under you.

“No teasing, Bitch,” Dean spat, his teeth gritted against the shiver of anticipation that rolled through his own spine. “Hands behind your back, you know the rules. No touching yourself. I’m gonna fuck that filthy little mouth, and then I’m going to split open that pretty little cunt.”

As ordered, you opened your mouth and Dean pressed himself into your waiting lips. You sucked at him as he slowly pressed himself into your open mouth. Your tongue ran along the vein under this shaft as he adjusted to the feeling of your mouth around him, stopping when the tip touched the back of your throat with a grunt, his teeth biting into his own lip.

Your fingers dug into your palms as arousal coursed through your body with renewed fervor. Dean’s cock laying heavy on your tongue as you gulped in oxygen. You knew that would be the last easy breath until he was satisfied with your mouth as his eyes locked with your own.

“Eyes on me pretty girl,” he commanded as he started to thrust himself slowly in and out of your mouth. “I want to see the look on your face when you choke on my dick.”

Giving him a hard suck in response, Dean started to fuck your mouth with harsh thurst as you tired desperately to relax your throat and hollow out your checks to take all that he was giving you. Your cunt pulsed with every thrust of his hardness into your mouth, and it was all you could do to keep your hands behind your back, and not give yourself the relief you so desperately needed. The only balance you were able to maintain was on your knees, and Dean’s hand still pulled your hair tight as he fucked himself into your mouth over and over again.

You did all you could to keep your eyes on him as your throat contracted around his tip as it assaulted you over and over again. Tears were streaming down your face, and your lipstick was ruined as drool dripped from your mouth, but you dared not break eye contact with Dean.

He was beautiful when he lost control like this. His green eyes rolled in pleasure every so often. The vein he loved to let you bite showing in his throat as he strained to keep from spilling into your mouth.

“Fuck, I wish you could see yourself. Taking my cock so good baby girl.”

You moaned desperately around his length at his praises and he shivered above you, his pace faltering as he pulled himself from your mouth just before he could fall over the edge.You gasped desperately for air as he let go of your hair, and you fell down to your hands and knees on the mattress and he positioned himself behind you.

A hard smack to your ass caused you to whimper as you felt him slide his thick cock through your slick, not entering you, just teasing your throbbing clit with his tip, his fingers leaving delicious little bruises as his large hands held you in place.

“Look at you,” he moaned as your warmth edged around him just enough to make him nearly lose it right there on the bed sheets. “So wet, so needy.” Another harsh smack to the other cheek made you jump and a scream left your lips as frustration and arousal created the needful ache between your legs. Dean’s slow thrusts against your clit pulled you to the edge, but never let you fall over. “What do you want? Tell me.Tell Daddy what you need.”

“Please Daddy, please, I need you, need your cock, please,” you begged him, and he moaned behind you as his hand ran up your back, over your barely there costume, and into your hair again, giving it a hard jerk as his tip breached you, waiting for heat. “Then take it, slut.”

That was all the warning you got before Dean was pounding you almost flat on your stomach, each thrust hitting your G-spot with mapped out precision.You were a screaming, moaning mess as he pounded you into oblivion.

“That’s it, baby,” Dean said, smacking your ass and never losing pace as each swat of his large hand made you moan, and your pussy spasm around his length. “You better not cum yet bitch! If you do, you know it will be the last time for a week. Do you understand?”

You moaned as you fought against the orgasm that had you shaking on the edge of delirium, and Dean gave your hair a hard pull, bring your back up to his chest, ripping your top down so that your tits flopped freely as he continued to pound into your ruined pussy, giving your exposed tits a harsh twist to get your attention. “Use your words Y/N, or I’m stopping, and I’ll finish myself off while you watch.”

You knew he’d do it. He’d done it before, and Dean didn’t take shit from you, or anyone else, and he wasn’t afraid to take care of himself, and leave you waiting.

“Yes Daddy, I understand,” you squealed as his fingers dug into your hips, his hand never letting go of your hair.

“Good girl, such a good girl for Daddy,” he said as he picked up pace, until his hips started to stutter after what felt like an eternity, your own body buzzing as the orgasm you’d been holding off was becoming almost painful.

“Touch yourself baby, I want to feel you come on my cock,” Dean said, his voice strained as he raced to his own end.

Your hand traveled down your still costume clad body, and to your swollen aching clit, matching his pace in rough circles.

It didn’t even take a full minute before your pussy clamped down around his pulsing cock, and your orgasm rocketed through your body as he spilled deep inside of you. Dean pulled you both up as your bodies seized around one another, until he was able to remove his softening length from your body, and lay you gently down on the bed.

Your body was still quaking slightly when you finally came back to yourself, as Dean cleaned the mess up between your legs before helping you out of your costume in silence. You watched as Dean crawled over you body, and pressed a sweet kiss to your swollen lips before cleaning the lipstick off your face.

“You okay?” he asked as your eyes met his. There was your Dean again, always worried, always concerned for someone else above himself. Even in this aspect of your relationship, he was always the nurturer that you had fallen in love with under that rough exterior so long ago.

“I’m good Dean,” you tell him as his lips pecked at your own again, and he lay down next to you to pull your exhausted body against his own, tucking the covers in around you.

Maybe one day you’d tell each other you loved each other, but not today, for now this would be enough.

“Happy Halloween Daddy,” you told him, feeling him chuckle behind you, before his teeth bit playfully into your shoulder, leaving his mark on your skin.

“Happy Halloween Baby Girl.”

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sir-elyan · 4 years

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Catalysts & Changes: a 15x16 Meta

I wanted to talk really quickly about Dean’s change this season, especially regarding 15x16.

My main focus of this meta is to talk about Mary’s impact on Dean being the catalyst for this change we’ve been seeing, but I’m also going to be mentioning some Cas/destiel things to tie into this. So, here we go:

I. Mary as Catalyst & Myth

Mary is Dean’s reason. By that I mean that literally the whole reason Dean hunts--or, rather, continues to hunt, since John honestly forced it on him--was all in the hopes of catching what killed Mary. That was the main purpose of season 1, other than finding John. This is Dean’s motivation, his basis as a character.

Dean has also mentioned on multiple occasions that Mary was why he was brave, why he kept fighting, and that he often thought about her.

Dean: I was scared, too. I didn’t feel like talking, just like you. But see, my mom...I know she wanted me to be brave. I think about that every day (1.03 Dead in the Water)

Remember this quote, because I think it’s eerily similar to the one in 15.16 that I’ll talk about later in this post.

This makes sense--she’s his mom, he should be affected in some way about her death. But Dean takes it to the extreme, based his life around it, held on to it for far too long. Sam was different, because he never actually knew Mary, and we know from earlier seasons that their feelings about her are pretty different.

Meanwhile, almost any time Dean has dreamt of something ideal, Mary was there (think of his djinn dream in 2.20 where Mary never died, and in heaven in 5.16). We can especially see that this is true because of what Amara said in Gimme Shelter:

Dean: What was the point?

Amara: I wanted two things for you, Dean. I wanted you to see that your mother was just a person. That the myth you’d held onto for so long of a better life, a life where she’d lived, was just that: a myth. I wanted you to see that the real, complicated Mary, was better than your childhood dream because she was real. That now is always better than then. That you could finally start to accept your life. (15.15 Gimme Shelter)

Here, Amara was anticipating a turning point. She had wanted Dean to be “released” by having Mary back, but obviously this didn’t happen. Instead, Mary’s death was once again the catalyst for Dean’s change, just like it was the first time when Azazel killed her. We can also see from this that Dean has always been stuck in the past, hence Amara telling him that he should be focusing on now, instead. Another thing to note for future reference is the “real” line. Remember Cas saying “we are” when Dean asks him what is real.

Mary was also not exactly what Sam or Dean--hell, not even the viewers--had been expecting when she returned. She was scared, alone, and had trouble dealing with being back in a new century with her little boys all grown up and even worse-- hunting. But Dean eventually accepted this. He accepted the real version of Mary, but continued to idolize her and bring up the past.

II. Mary’s Death

Now let’s take a look at what’s happened since Mary’s second death:

Denial. Dean hopes Mary isn’t actually dead, even though all signs point to this.

Grief. Dean cries alone at the site of her death.

Blame. Dean blames Jack and Cas for what happened.

During and after the funeral, Dean avoids talking about it with anyone. However, he is obviously affected by her death. Sam even holds Cas back from going to Dean while burning the pyre. Bobby makes a comment about Dean being a lot like him and not wanting to show his feelings to others.

These all sound like the Dean that’s been built up since season 1. Not dealing with his feelings properly at all, pushing people away, denial. The one thing that makes this time different from other deaths, though, is that--just like the first time Mary died--there's no body to bring back. It's implied in 14.19 that if there had been, Dean would have tried, because he even tells Sam:

Note: This is also an episode where we see Jack being a mirror for Dean by doing exactly that--doing everything in his power to try to bring Mary back by himself. It doesn’t work; Mary’s gone for good. And she’s happy--she’s in heaven!

In addition to there not being a body, Dean also knows who did it. It's not some unidentifiable yellow-eyed demon that he can spend years tracking down, it's Jack. It's his son, it's someone he can't and won't kill, because he's family, even if he’s guilty. So Dean has no outlet for his rage except to put blame on not only Jack, but Cas (specifically in 15.03 The Rupture, Jack is dead at this point and he pushes Cas away for several episodes). And here is where Dean begins to change.

III. The Shift: Anger, Apologies, and Forgiveness

Because then, in 15.09 The Trap, there is a big, significant shift. Dean forgives Cas:

Dean: You’re my best friend, but I just let you go. ‘Cause it was easier than admitting I was wrong.

He cries, looks around, and gets on his knees.

Dean: I don’t know why I get so angry. I just know-I just know that it’s just always been there. And when things go bad, it just-it comes out. And I can’t- I can’t stop it. No matter how--how bad I want to, I just can’t stop it. And I forgive you, of course I forgive you. I’m sorry it took me so long to...I’m sorry it took me ‘til now to say it. (15.09 The Trap)

This is an incredibly important scene because it shows that Dean knows about his anger--the anger that Amara talks about in 15x15, and he wants to stop it.

Amara: I thought having [Mary] back would release you...put that fire out. Your anger. But I guess we both know I failed at that.

Dean: You’re damn right. (15.15 Gimme Shelter)

After this, Dean clarifies that he’s not only angry, but furious. This is change, this is change caused directly by Mary’s death--by Amara bringing her back again. Dean might say he is furious, but he has also said before that he wants to stop his anger. And, in many ways, he’s been taking steps towards doing that:

For example, here in 15.09 when Dean forgives Cas, (gif credit)

and here in 15.14 when he tells Jack he’s trying to forgive him for killing Mary, (gif credit)

and again in 15.16 for not telling Sam and Caitlin about the dead bodies when they were younger (gif credit)

and most recently, at the end of 15.16, when he didn’t tell Sam about Jack dying. (gif credit)

So now we’ve taken the turn towards forgiveness. Dean has been handing out apologies and forgiveness like never before this season, which is a definite change to how it used to be with him. He’s opening up, and he is trying to do better and be better than before. Billie also tells him this at the diner:

(gif credit)

I’m inclined here to believe that Dean is on that road to forgiveness with Jack. I mean, he said it himself in 15.14 that he’s trying, and Cas also vouched for him when Jack asked if forgiveness from Dean was a possibility. So in 15.16, when Dean says they have “no choice” but to let Jack die, it’s not because it doesn’t haunt him. It clearly does, with the entire episode dealing with Dean coping with the deaths of children, even his brother. He doesn’t want Jack to die, but his anger, his fury towards Chuck is taking precedence over that. It’s something he wants to change, but feels like he has no choice in the matter.

To add on to this, Jack has been a clear mirror for Dean this entire season. Dean’s argument with Sam about them having no choice is an indication of this. Just an episode prior in 15.15, Jack told Cas that the choice wasn’t his whether or not Jack died. So the pair ups in 15.17 aren’t all that surprising. With the episode being titled “Unity,” I think that the four of them will reach an agreement by the end of the episode (I keep mentioning agreements in all of my metas, because I think Chuck/Amara and Sam/Eileen’s agreement had important implications, but alas...), and be unified in a new plan to defeat Chuck.

As for Dean? I don’t think his ending is going to be expected. He is changing--he won’t be making the same decisions he used to make in earlier seasons.

I also find it fascinating that they made 15.16 a flashback episode to their past as children. Not only did 15.16 show us Dean being annoyed by sex, ignoring a possible love interest (which we were right as an audience to assume it would be written that way, because it has been so many times before), and how he’s dealing with the prospect of Jack’s death (with all of the imagery of dead children), but it really brought to light how much Dean has changed.

The most obvious way they showed us this was through this scene with Caitlin (who looks eerily like a young Mary...interesting), who says this:

(gif credit)

Dean: Always am.

Caitlin: You have changed. The old you never would have admitted that.

Dean: Well, I’m not sure that’s a good thing.

Caitlin: I think so. What do they say about getting older? You tell the truth more because lies...they don’t make anything better. (15.16 Drag Me Away (From You))

Now, ignoring the fact that Dean has admitted this (in 1.03), we know that the only time he has admitted to being scared before was in relation to Mary. But I think what the writers were going for here was not only to highlight Dean’s recent character growth by admitting to Caitlin that he’s changed, but also the running theme of lying this season. I’ve said it before that Sam has been the only one telling the truth in s15, and I think it’ll eventually come into play during the final episodes. The truth/lies aspect will become a central plot point--I mean, it already is. But I think it’ll factor into how the show will end as a whole, especially with this episode and previous ones alluding to normalcy and the possibility of it for Sam.

I’m going to finish this here, because I’ve dragged on too long, but some other (destiel) things to note are:

Dean falling to his knees in the hallway as a parallel to falling on his knees in Purgatory, praying to Cas, apologizing.

Dean cutting off Baba Yaga’s fingers, whereas Cas restored a woman’s fingers in 15x15. The pastor telling Cas that people are god’s hands; they lift each other up with each finger. The implications of Dean cutting people off, and Cas bringing people together.

another amazing meta regarding 15.16 and another about dean changing + 15.16

#i have literally spent HOURS on this #im so sorry it's so long oh my god #supernatural meta #rambleoncas meta #spn 15x16 #spn spoilers #spn #supernatural #destiel #dean winchester #roc original #my post

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wayward-wlw · 3 years

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Sam’s Toast

I was very inspired by This Post from @menschdean. I hope you don’t mind that I wrote a fic about it!

AO3 Link

***

Sam had guarded his speech like it was a nuclear football, and Dean had been as determined as a Mission Impossible villain to get ahold of it, not because he didn’t trust his brother, but because he just thought he had a right to know what would be said.

Despite his best efforts, Dean hasn’t managed to see a single word of Sam’s toast, and while he’s not exactly worried about it—he couldn’t be worried about anything today, it’s all too perfect—he still wishes he could prepare himself a little bit ahead of time.

When the time comes and Sam starts speaking, nothing could have prepared him.

“I think we’ve all been pretty aware of how Dean and Cas felt about each other for a long time, me more than most—”

Bobby makes a gruff sound of protest at that, but Sam ignores him and goes on. “But just in case you missed it, here’s what the lore says.”

“The—” But before Dean can ask about it, Sam has pulled out his stupid little e-reader and Dean’s stomach is dropping to the floor. He looks at Cas, who’s frowning in confusion, the first time his smile has been broken all day.

“I’d like to share some passages from Supernatural, by Chuck Shurley.” Sam breezes past the loud chorus of boos that name inspires from the audience and begins to read. “Castiel studied him so intently that Dean felt naked. He tried to salvage some of his usual bravado with a smirk. ‘Yeah, thanks for that,’ he said, driving the knife into the so-called angel’s chest.”

Cas’s fingers curled around Dean’s hand, and he smiles fondly at Dean.

Sam keeps on reading. “Castiel didn’t even flinch. In fact, he looked down at the knife as if Dean had done something amusing, and the smile he turned on Dean was affectionate.”

Jo wolf-whistles from the crowd, and Dean attempts to flip her the bird without Jack or Claire seeing.

“So that was how it started,” Sam says. “Let’s check in on them a few months later, shall we?”

“We don’t have to!” Dean shouts, but no one seems to notice.

“No, we do,” Sam says. “See I wasn’t here for this one, but it’s great.”

Dean’s fears are confirmed as soon as Sam starts to read.

“Dean shuffled his feet on the rotted wooden floors, then looked back up at Cas, who was faced away from him, staring at the wall.

“So,” Dean said casually. “Last night on earth. What are your plans?”

“We don’t need to go over this!” Dean shouts.

“Yes we do,” Cas says, his eyes sparkling. Clearly, he knows just as well as Dean which night Sam is about to rehash in front of their closest friends and family.

Sam’s smile is downright evil as he finds his place on the e-reader and continues. “Castiel watched Dean pace the room; his eyes never left him. “I just thought I’d sit here quietly.”

Dean thought about everything he would do with his last night on earth. Fantasies about hookers in princess leia costumes and—”

“SAM THE KIDS ARE HERE!” Dean interrupts.

“Skimming over that part,” Sam says quickly, before diving back into reading. “Dude come on, anything?” Dean asked. “Booze? Women?”

Castiel stared back at him, startled.

Dean raised his eyebrows, curiosity he can’t name itching in his mind. “You have been with a woman before? Or an angel, at least?”

Castiel refused to meet his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck.

Undeterred, Dean leaned in closer to Castiel. “You mean to tell me you’ve never been up there doing a little… cloud seeding?”

“GROSS!” Claire shouts, throwing a roll across the room and hitting Dean in the head with surprising accuracy.

“What did I do?” He grouses, “Sam’s the one reading it!”

Sam only smiles and keeps right on reading. “I’ve never had occasion, okay?” Castiel said, still refusing to look at Dean. He attempted to negate his defensive tone with a glare at the wall, which Dean ignored.

“Alright,” Dean said. He stepped around Castiel and grabbed his jacket off the nearby chair. “Let me tell you something, there are two things that I know for certain: One, Burt and Ernie are gay, and two, you are not going to die a virgin.”

Sam looks up at the crowd, and he has to shout over the laughter from the crowd. “Dean, what the hell does that mean?”

“That’s not what I said,” Dean muttered.

“Yes it is,” Cas says, looking at him in confusion.

“I’m not going to read the rest,” Sam says after everyone has had a chance to calm down, “Where they get kicked out of a brothel—”

“What’s a brothel?” Jack asks loudly. Everyone sitting near him takes a quick sip of their drink to avoid having to answer.

Dean glares at Sam, who pretends not to notice as he continues his speech. “—And the chapter ends with them walking into the night. In case you were wondering, Cas didn’t die the next day—”

“It was at least another few months,” Cas says confidently, and Dean sighs. He doesn’t need a reminder of all the times he’s lost Cas. He reaches for his hand, holding on tightly. Never again. They’re never going to lose each other again; that’s what today is all about.

“So, skipping ahead a few books,” Sam says. “This one I was here for, and let me tell you, it was unbearable.”

“Castiel appeared in the morgue, a mere inches away from Dean’s face. Despite this, neither of them backed away, or lowered their phones.

Castiel’s eyes were locked on Dean’s. “I’m there now,” He informed him.

“Yeah, I get that.” Dean still didn’t step away from Castiel.

“I’m going to hang up now.”

“Right.” Dean’s voice was a little bit breathless, though if anyone had asked him, he wouldn’t have been able to explain why.

“It’s important that I remind you,” Sam says, “Because even this book seems to forget, that I was standing about three feet away at the time.”

Dean drops his head into his hands, not sure whether he should laugh or make a run for it and hide until this is over. Cas rubs his back sympathetically.

“You know, I really could keep going,” Sam says. “But I think you get the idea, and all this was from the first two years they knew each other. Sometimes I wanted to punch you both, or lock you in a room and see if you worked it out. I’m glad you finally did. I love you both, I’m happy for you both. I wish you many more years of extended eye contact that makes everyone else in the room uncomfortable.” Sam raises his glass to them, and everyone copies the gesture.

There are loud shouts and whistles, and Dean leans in to kiss Cas, if only to hide how red his cheeks have gotten, and then everyone groans and throws balled-up napkins at them.

Sam returns to his seat next to Dean. “So, what did you think?” His shit-eating grin is a mile wide.

“It was too damn long,” Dean grumbles.

Sam’s eyes blaze with justifiable fury. “Twelve fucking years.”

#Destiel wedding #deancas wedding #Dean Winchester #Castiel #Sam Winchester #castiel winchester #my fics

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aethylas · 3 years

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For anonymous: a series of answers/clarifications/amendments on The Goldenrod Revisions! (I've answered these all in one post just to make it easier). Thank you so much for the asks, this helped me a) clarify my thoughts b) solve some canon continuity issues so I really appreciate them!

THANK U for agreeing to answer my questions! I'll have to ask them separately so they're not in 1 super-long impossible-to-read ask. I have 3 about 15x19, 1 about 15x20, 2 about 15x21, 2 about 15x22, and 2 about 15x23. quick disclaimer: i don't mean any offense at all by my question count! I didn't even notice these oddities the first time I read this; once I read it and accepted it as the true canon, I took a closer look and then noticed. but plz don't think these made your fic any less great!!

No worries anon! It is literally my pleasure to answer them and I am VERY very happy to find discrepancies with canon in the fic - then I can hopefully fix them and make the fic better :) Also I really appreciate the very systematic way you laid all these out, it really helped me reply, and also subsequently make a couple of edits to the fic!

For 15x19:

1. Why did Chuck trust Michael with the task of killing Jack? As God he should know Michael betrayed him in 15.08; did he expect Michael to disobey him again?

I think in this case we're/Chuck is relying on knowledge from the canon 15.19, i.e. Chuck would assume the outcome predicted by the show - that Michael WOULD betray the Winchesters/the world in order to please his father. So God assumed Michael would act the way he did in Inherit The Earth. But additionally, Chuck isn't actually very keyed-in to his own characters' motivations (esp. when love is involved) or very attached to certain results - he basically sends Michael and Lucifer to kill Jack because he figures it will entertain him no matter what happens - whether Michael and Lucifer kill each other, whether they kill the Winchesters/Jack, etc. - either Jack dies this way or Chuck will think of another way to do it.

2. How was Sam able to kill Lucifer? It was said only an archangel could kill another archangel with the archangel blade; was this a total lie or could Sam do it since he's Lucifer's true vessel? (plz don't change it to have Michael kill him; Sam being the one to do it was perfect, I just wanna understand how he could do it).

So glad you raised this because I honestly totally forgot! But now that you have, I have corrected that lore continuity with a line about biblical metaphors.

3. How is Rowena alive? She said she was dead in 15.08, so I initially assumed as a witch and the Queen of Hell she found a way to travel between Hell and Earth despite being dead. But then Sam says "Michael could've killed you" and then Chuck kills her twice in 15.21, both of which indicate she's alive here - does this mean Michael resurrected her when she summoned him?

God okay this is like - please call me out if this is incorrect or still confusing - but it's kind of like, based on the very inconsistent and confusing lore of the SPN afterlife that I assume Rowena is 'dead' but also 'alive' in the sense that Crowley was 'alive' and is now 'dead'. Does that make sense? She's not 'alive' as a human but rather as a demon (or something like it). So as Queen of Hell and a presumably demonic-adjacent entity, when she's 'killed' she gets sent to the Empty now vs. being 'killed' as a human and going to Heaven/Hell. (Based on when we see her in Hell, I assume she possesses her own body? Unclear. Just go with it. They've never been great with what it means to show vessels in Heaven/Hell etc.)

4. I thought asked all I wanted to know about Goldenrod but I just thought of 1 more thing: I don’t get why some dialogue implies Michael was dead? He mentions how he “found himself back on Earth” and tells the Empty it couldn’t stop Chuck from resurrecting him & Lucifer, but prior to 15.19 we last saw Michael leaving the bunker with Adam alive and well in 15.08, and it seemed like he was gonna stay on Earth for Adam’s sake. So what happened to him?

Oh that's a great point! I think that is actually just a confusing choice on my part that Chuck killed absolutely everyone including Michael/Adam in 15.18 Despair and THEN chose to resurrect Michael (but not Adam) alongside Lucifer when he was bored/wanting to kill Jack. I made some slight adjustments in-text to hopefully make it less confusing because I know that's different to the lore of canon 15.19 Inherit the Earth.

For 15x20:

1. How did the angels and demons in the Empty wake up? Did Michael use the last of his grace to wake everyone up? Were they already awake thanks to Jack blowing up in 15x18 or did they somehow sleep through that? (Not expanding on the Empty's claim that "you made it loud" is one of countless things I'll never forgive the actual show for, so THANK YOU for taking the show back to the Empty in the first place; I was just curious about this one element.)

So the Empty was already 'loud' according to canon, but since canon is vague on what exactly that means (thank you writers!...) I got the impression it meant the Empty wasn't 'peaceful' anymore but still powerful enough to suppress the beings inside, like the beings in there were awake and suffering but unable to rebel. Sort of what we see with Cas in this version of 15.20. Maybe like, additional suffering in sleep paralysis? Regardless, Michael does expend his grace to weaken the Empty enough that other beings wake up and/or are able to fight back and exist outside their own personal nightmare chamber. So whatever your impression of 'loud' is with regards to the other beings in there, assume Michael was able to free them from the Empty's control.

For 15x21:

1. Having Jack & Amara take out Hell & Purgatory was a BRILLIANT idea; I love that they ended all the places of suffering and changed the system. I just wonder - what happened to the souls and the demons still in Hell at that point, and the Leviathans and other monsters still in Purgatory? Were they just wiped out completely and sent to the Empty? Or did Jack turn them human and add them to the cycle? (I don't think the show clarified whether or not Leviathans have souls, so...)

No matter whether they were monster or demon or even angel, they would eventually be given human life. I broke it down to 'human enough souls' vs. 'not human enough souls'. Human-enough were immediately brought to life with memories and versions of their original bodies, and not-human-enough were sent to the Soul Queue to be born as infants. I assume Leviathan and most demons fall into 'not human enough', therefore, whatever tiny microbe of personality/soul they had was added to the cycle of rebirth and would be translated to a new human soul. Of course this might have a WILDLY different impact on the world depending on how many people go to hell in this system, how many people were 'human enough', etc.... But we're basically fudging those numbers a bit one way or another just to give certain characters the revival they deserve haha.

2. Did Cas drown and die after Chuck threw him in the lake and Jack left their limbo-dream world? If so, did he go through the same question-&-answer situation with Death that Sam & Dean did? Or was he with Jack & Amara when they rebuilt the world?

Cas was already dead/dying even when he was talking to Jack, he was sort of in a different version of the 'Veil' per se. VERY wishy-washy, but basically he and Jack were on a different dream-plane that they were jolted to in the chaos of the disorganised no-Death world.

I think Cas, Rowena, Lucifer, Michael, etc. as beings who were killed after the snap is a bit ambiguous. Rowena and Lucifer, I think, as entities who were demonic-dead or Empty-level-dead pre-Snap probably went through the reincarnation Yes/No Death questionnaire. Cas and Michael might not have since they were technically 'alive' and human before the Snap. Regardless, I think they probably wouldn't remember the interaction even if they had it.

The reason the question happened to the Winchesters AND that they remember it is Main Character Syndrome... they were the only people left alive when Jack and Amara did a hard reset, and that honestly Death took time to chill/exposition at them because he likes them. Really. Despite all appearances. Or respects them enough to let them know what's gone down, anyway.

Metatextually, it was really just to reaffirm to the audience that Dean (and Sam) want to live, in contrast to 15.20 Carry On 😅

3. Did all the snapped people (Eileen, Adam, the Waywards, etc.) also go through the Death question-&-answer process but not remember it, or did Jack & Amara just send them back?

Snapped people were reset automatically! Normally the new-humans also wouldn't remember their interactions with Death/reapers, just like in canon lore when someone like Dean has a near-death experience.

I realise this whole section and various other lore reformation parts of the fic aren't SUPER clear on specific logistics but on some occasions I'm like, I've done enough info-dumping, I don't want to overwrite exposition. But if you think it's worth clarifying certain points let me know and I can try to do so!

For 15x22:

1. The twenty something blonde guy in sunglasses getting hot tea, is that Belphegor? sure sounds like it but I wanted to confirm.

Yep!

2. Since Death mentioned that Jack only resurrected the angels, demons, and monsters from the Empty who had enough of a soul, and since all the human souls from the Veil went to Heaven as confirmed by Kevin's presence, how exactly are Anna's human parents and Bela alive now?

Great question - 1) I SOMEHOW FORGOT ANNA'S PARENTS DIED? Complete screw up on my part, I don't know how that happened. I fixed this so it's her grandparents now. 2) Bela was sent to Hell as part of her deal, so I was assuming she was a demon by this point in canon (since it would be... MANY Hell-years since she died.) Therefore she had a 'human' enough demon soul to be put back as a human.

3. Oh, and the tall woman with the flyer in 15.22; who is this supposed to be? Hannah I’m guessing?

To be honest I didn't have anyone in particular in mind for that scene; it was kind of a catch-all for missing characters like, it COULD be Hannah. It could be Raphael. Hell, it could be Abbadon. I didn't want to do a full shot of every single person missing from the cast who had died (esp since like - we wouldn't know who they were anyway! Their bodies would be different). So this one is literally just fill-in-the-blank. But if I had to assign a character there I'd say it would probably be one of the more arrogant angels like Raphael or Uriel.

For 15x23:

1. How is Bobby in the Roadhouse with the gang? 10x17 seemed to imply the angels were about to throw him in the dungeons to punish him for helping Cas; did Ash hack him out of prison, or was he never imprisoned at all? Also, is Jack not surprised to see another Bobby in Heaven because the boys already told him there was another Bobby besides the one he knows from Apocalypseverse? (I was half-expecting him to comment about that and confuse Bobby).

Oh that's a great point! I think that's another sort of fill in the blank since it's been five years since 10.17... even if he was in prison of some kind, I think it's likely either Ash helped him get out in the same way he helped everyone else, and since the angels were extremely short-staffed I doubt getting Bobby suitably imprisoned/punished was their top priority. But honestly I'm not super clear on how the angels intended to punish Bobby, I don't think canon is clear either... like, We Just Don't Know.

Finally I'd like to know, has Sam proposed to Eileen yet by the end of the final episode? The script doesn't mention a ring on her finger, and as Sam's fiancee, I'd assume she'd also have carved her name on the table. Sam mentions the innuendos Dean has said "in the past year," so it's been a while since Jack's prayer scene, yet Cas says Dean & Claire's argument was the last time they spoke, and it doesn't seem likely to me that Dean wouldn't call Claire in a year given how close they are...

Nope! I think Sam is saying 'I'm going to marry her' as a declaration of certainty of his feelings and faith in the future, not neccessarily as something that immediately happens. With regards to 'in the past year', that referred to the period when Eileen was alive during s15 as well! I assume Dean did teasing off-screen (and I mean, he did plenty on-screen too.)

I honestly think that Sam and Dean are just very very busy in the aftermath of the events of the 15.20 reset, like they have to deal with the new world AND try to wrangle all these hunters into this new system of collaboration. I didn't put Eileen on the table because she isn't there in the finale and because I do think the Sam/Dean/Cas/Jack family unit was a bit more central and important to the show, but maybe they add her (and any possible kids, if they have any) later on. God, imagine generations of hunters and/or Winchesters carving on that table. Sacred Artefact...

(1) Ok that's all the questions I have. Again, so sorry to blow up your inbox - I really appreciate your willingness to clarify these things! If there are some things you'd rather not explain and leave ambiguous, I totally get that. And in spite of these aforementioned confusing parts, I still ADORE your fic and will continue to read it whenever I feel like re-"watching" how Supernatural really ended! Thank you so much!! .... (2) I’m SO sorry to overload u! I know I asked a lot and I didn’t mean to sound like a hater saying “none of ur story makes sense”; that’s not what I meant at all! If this was a regular good ol fix it fic I wouldn’t have said anything but since u said u wanted it to wrap up the show as replacement canon, I thought maybe I should point out places that didn’t line up. But take as MUCH time as you need! Good for you working to meet your deadlines; I hope you succeeded!! And again I really appreciate you taking the time to answer whenever you have time—absolutely no rush!! Have a GREAT Memorial Day Weekend!!!

Anon thank you SO SO much for all these questions, as you can see it really helped me identify problems or straight up errors in my work wrt continuity and I'm so happy that means I can improve it. If any of the answers weren't clear or you think I should modify the fic to make certain things clearer than they are right now (other than the things I said I'd fix in-text for sure) let me know! It's really been a pleasure answering them too, I'm sorry it took me so long to get around to it, I actually went back and proofed/edited the whole fic as part of adding some of these corrections in (and that took like... three weeks...) and as you said, it's very important to me to get it as true to canon as possible so - yeah, just, once again, thank you!! You're wonderful! ♥♥♥

#my fic #anonymous #ask #I should make fic-specific tags. someone remind me to go back and re-tag this blog with those sigh #every time I post on this blog I say that every single time #on round like. 20 of corrections now for this fic #post-posting #'goldenrod' revisions. laughable #we're easily on second cherry revisions now #the goldenrod revisions #my meta

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adhdeancas · 3 years

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Sunset Sound: Gallows Pole

In the midst of the Lawboy shitposting, a Sam-centric chapter to see what he got up to after Dean went to hell. Special thanks to my bro @friedchickenangelwings for keeping me in check forever and always, I wouldn’t be able to do this without you.

Sam sobs. He can’t help it; he can’t do anything else. His big brother’s body is impaled on the post in front of him, the ground is littered with beheaded bodies, and two little boys are crying outside somewhere in the dark. And he can’t stop crying.

“It’s not okay. It’s not!”

He tries to take back those words that had made his brother leave, but Dean's chest doesn’t shudder back into life, and it won’t. It hangs there, heavy and lifeless, and it always will. Dean is dead.

And for what?

When Sam’s head starts to pound from the tears, he finally takes breaths to calm himself. Common sense floods back into his head and overtakes his grief, and he pulls Dean’s body off the stupid rusty nail that killed him. He lowers him to the ground and closes his eyes, because he can’t bear to look at his dead stare any longer.

He doesn’t want to leave the barn. He knows he has to, but he doesn’t want to leave his brother there all alone. That’s what Dean had always been most afraid of: being alone. He stands frozen to the spot for more minutes than he should, trying to reason with his grief. Finally, finally, he wins, and he turns around to see his breath in the air before him. Sam immediately gasps, another desperate sob coming from nowhere, because the night isn’t cold enough for that.

“Dean?” He screams it. “Dean!” It’s gotta be him, Dean’s a ghost, Dean’s here, Dean’s trying to talk to him. “Dean!”

“No, I’m sorry, Sam.” Kevin Tran flickers to form in front of him, pity and sadness in his eyes. “But Dean’s okay.”

Sam rubs his eyes. He thinks for a second he’s hallucinating again, that losing Dean for real broke down all the sanity he’d built over the years. “K-Kevin?” Though he didn’t know it was possible, his stomach takes yet another plunge, like a boulder has just been dropped on him. Kevin’s incorporeal form shakes into being the thought once more that he did that, his hands killed Kevin, he’s the reason Kevin is a ghost. He’s in a room with the corpse and untethered soul of two people he loves and two people he watched die.

As if sensing all the ways Sam is shaking apart, Kevin nods and starts to reach out before realizing it would be no use. “Yeah, Sam, it’s me.”

“But- w-w why?” Sam curses his voice for failing him, curses the shaking that sobbing left him with, curses it because he needs to be strong now. For Dean. “Why didn’t you help us?” A ghost would’ve been a great thing to have in a fight! A ghost could probably, I don’t know, push Dean away from a deadly-sharp hook on the wall? If Kevin has been here, why- “Is Dean in the veil? Can he hear me? Dean!”

Kevin throws a gust of air in his face to get his attention, and it hits Sam like a slap. He looks back at the ghost, wideyed. Kevin looks apologetic. “I don’t have a lot of time, but you need to calm down. Seriously.”

“I can’t calm down-”

“No, Sam, you need to calm down.” Kevin looks upward nervously, as if he’s expecting to see some big figure raise the roof of the barnhouse up and peek down at them. “I’ll explain, but first thing you need to know is: Dean’s dead. He’s in heaven, and he’s in trouble.”

---------------------------

Sam drives the Impala at exactly the speed limit, eyes dried to the point of aching. Dean’s wrapped body is sprawled out in the back seat, and if Sam just glances in the rearview mirror he can almost pretend he’s just passed out. Just had one too many shots of Cuervo and conked out so his little brother can drive. Sure. Whatever gets you through the night.

Dropping off the kids was easy. Traumatized kids don’t say much, don’t ask too many questions, and they’ll forget the shellshocked stranger that saved them soon enough. Either that or he will haunt their nightmares, but Sam can’t help that. He can’t help anyone at this point, covered in dirt and blood and exhausted. He drives out to the middle of the forest anyway, Kevin’s words on a loop in his head.

“You have to be normal. Chuck can’t want to watch you at all. So just play into his game. Pretend to only care about Dean, get out of the life, settle down.”

Sam had frowned, Eileen instantly springing to his mind. Surely he can care about her, right? “But-”

“No, Sam, I’m sorry. Dean told me to tell you that Eileen… it’s just too dangerous. He likes you two. He’s gotta hate your life so much he doesn’t want to see it. It’s gotta bore him.”

So Sam burns his brother's body in a forest alone, with only Miracle for company. There’s a dagger in his chest that tells him he’s betraying everyone he cares about, including Dean. Dean wanted a big funeral. He wanted his whole family there, not just his brother and a dog. And Eileen. There are three unread texts and a missed video call from Eileen already. Apparently Kevin hadn’t visited her yet. To let her know.

It doesn’t take Sam long to leave the bunker. It just feels like a punch to the gut at this point. That table over there, carved with their family’s names, that’s where he and Dean swore they’d be free. They swore they’d get everything they wanted and everything they deserved. And now Sam has one pillow on his bed and an empty bunker full of the possessions of dead people.

He knows there is a plan. He knows that. And it should comfort him, but it doesn’t, because he still has to live his long, boring, lonely life without the woman he loves or the family he misses or the brother he mourns. Time on Earth is torturously slow.

The small things make the ache in his heart just a little lighter. He finds a job he likes, teaching history and the classics to teenagers. He remembers his old English teacher, and he tries to be that to kids that need it, kids that remind him of Claire or Jack. He gets to see Jody and the girls once every few years, a risk that he knows is worth it because it keeps him going. He can’t see Eileen. It would hurt too much. They both agreed the one time they called. He keeps learning ASL anyway, and he tells the story of him and Eileen meeting (slightly modified) to the kids in his class.

He finds a wife. It was one of the things he put off, but after three years he knows he has to get on with it or he’ll get depressed. He needs someone, even if she is boring and too-nice and entirely too gullible. She’s nice and he’s good to her, but he can’t love her because she’s not real. Not in the way that Eileen is. She might as well be a blurred out mother figure action doll, for all she knows. And he hates himself for marrying her, when she deserves someone who finds her boringness interesting, but he knows this is what Chuck expects. He expects Sam to marry a nice woman and have a kid named Dean and grow old always hurting for the old times. Oh, and Sam does.

He’d rather be back in the pit with Lucifer than this domestic djinn dream, but he reminds himself every day that someday they’re going to get rid of Chuck and then he’ll be able to live. Dean too. Cas too. And Jack. Sam’s going to kill that son of a bitch if it’s the last thing he does, living or dead. And it looks like it’ll be dead.

His fiftieth birthday has come and gone when Kevin finally comes back. The lights in Sam’s classroom flicker and go out, and then Kevin is there, chest heaving. He runs to the chalkboard and picks up a piece of chalk, and Sam’s talking as he writes.

“Kevin, how’s Dean? Any updates on what’s happening in heaven? Is Chu-Jack okay?”

Kevin turns around, irritated, until he sees the look on Sam’s face. “Yeah, listen, everything is… fine. We’re working on it. Look, the important thing is that you get these ingredients-” he points to the chalkboard, “and perform the spell. But listen, it’s gotta be next week. Friday. There’s a full moon, it’s… you gotta make it happen.”

Sam’s eyes bulge. “Friday? Kevin, what the hell, a little notice would be nice! How am I supposed to get-” he looks past him to the hastily written ingredients. “These ingredients are insane! It’lll take me weeks just to fly around the fucking world to grab them!”

Kevin throws his hands up, looking almost as stressed as Sam. “Listen, man, we’re doing our best up there! Time is fucked up and we’re trying to be sneaky and it is a lot of pressure!” he finally takes a deep breath, which seems to help. “I’m sorry, I know it’s too much to ask, but we have no choice. Call a witch friend for the ingredients, summon Rowena and let her in on the plan. It’s Friday or never.”

He flickers out before Sam can even reply. Apparently the stress and talking like that took too much out of him. Sam’s left alone to say “Sorry,” to an empty classroom. He sits down heavily at his desk and runs a hand through his graying hair.

He copies down the ingredients and the spell and it’s then that he knows he definitely needs help. Luckily, he knows who to call.

The phone rings so long Sam thinks about hanging up, but he picks up just before he can. “Sam!” Max sounds winded, and the first thought that enters Sam’s head is not appropriate for the occasion.

“Hey Max, you got a second? You’re not…” busy? Jesus, Sam is blushing.

Max laughs. “Nah, you’re good, man. What’s up?”

God, to speak to someone who understands his life again. To really get to talk to them. “Uh, it’s kinda not the kind of thing to talk about over the phone. Can I drive to you?”

---------------------------------------

“Hey, Rowena,”

Sam’s natural state is apparently social awkwardness now. Dean would say that had always been true… No, not the time to get sidetracked with that sad shit. He shuffles his feet again and adjusts a candle, waiting for Rowena to appear. He’s fifty fucking years old. He’s fine.

“Hello, dearie.”

Sam grins at her, but is once again met with the sad eyes Kevin always gives him. “Fuck, can everybody stop with the dead brother horrible life shit?” She doesn’t look taken aback, no that’s not Rowena. She looks more like a school principal that just got told off by an 8th grader, surprised and a little offended. Sam softens a little bit. “Sorry, I just- listen, I get it, okay? My life is fucked up and it’s all a lie to beat God, I know. Can we move past that and get back to the saving the world stuff?”

A slow smile spreads across Rowena’s face, and she pats him on the cheek. “There she is. Hello, Samuel.”

Sam rolls his eyes. “Hi Rowena, how are you?”

“Oh, just dandy. Tamped down a few ne’er-do-wells, not a problem. Being worshipped every day is hard work, but I manage, somehow.”

“I’m sure. ‘Jack’ giving you any trouble?”

She waves a dismissive hand. “I’ve barely seen the boy since he took over. Apparently he’s much more interested in watching his little short films in heaven than anything down below…” Sam’s got a question on his lips but she waves that away too. Too little time to explain the intricacies of eternal family drama that heaven is currently. “It doesn’t matter. I have free reign, which means I can pop in for our little soirees.”

Sam nods, grateful that that’s true at least. He hands her the list of ingredients and the spell and watches as she studies it. “Problem?”

“Hm. No, I can do that.” She looks up brightly at him. “I’m the greatest witch of all time, Samuel. I’m more worried about how you will accomplish it.” She looks down at his summoning ritual and bends down to correct a chalk mark with her finger. “You’re a wee bit rusty.”

Sam scoffs. He’s missed this. “Yeah, yeah, I know. I called up my friend Max, Max Banes. He’s going to help me out.”

“Max Banes? Hm.” For a second, Sam thought he saw something flash across Rowena’s face.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She shrugs it off. “I’ve heard of the witch, that’s all. He’ll be good help for you, I’m sure. Now, Samuel, if you’ll excuse me… Underworlds to run and all that.” She steps away, but Sam stops her before she can disappear again.

“Wait!” He hugs her tightly. She only resists for a moment before she returns the hug, a light tap on his shoulder. “Thank you, Rowena.”

“Of course, Samuel. Until next time.”

She’s gone with a puff of smoke and Sam is left hugging air.

tag list (ask to be added or removed):

Tag list: @dochunterwitch @justonecitizenoftheearth @gnbrules @purpe @castiel-is-a-cat @alienapparatus @damian-janus-pendragon

#sunset sound #chapter 7 #gallows pole #destiel #deancas #fanfic #my writing #sam winchester #15x20 #fix it fic #rowena #max banes #kevin tran

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avauntus · 3 years

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A'right. I know no one needs this, but after spending a weekend watching old Supernatural and reading fandom posts...I have thoughts.

I think what s15xe18 (apparently) did to Dean and Castiel is...fitting. And it is a terrible embodiment of a horrible trope...that actually fits into the show universe in a nasty, twisty way.

I don't mean this as a homophobic statement. It is a bit of a ride, though-- and, obviously, spoilers past the cut.

GIF by fruiitycas (s05xe03)

“When humans want something...we lie.”

“Why?”

“Because that’s how you become President.”

(We’ll come back to this.)

When Castiel first appears, he is all hammer, as Dean puts it. He’s there to do a job. He has orders.

GIF by winchester--bros-4-life (s04xe01)

That doesn’t last long. Seven episodes later, he’s confiding in Dean...

GIF by I’m in the stars tonight (s04xe07)

...and not too long after that, he’s full-on rebelling. From the point Castiel decides to side with Dean (and to a lesser extent, Sam), he spends his time in a push/pull tension that never really quite leaves the character-- as far as I can tell, EVER:

Castiel is an Angel of the Lord. He’s not made for free will. He IS his garrison’s best strategist, though, so he does the next best thing -- he watches, and then he tries to apply the “lessons” in self-determination, such as they are.

He mostly watches Dean.

GIF by I don’t understand that reference (I don’t know which episode this is, but take your pick.)

Over time, Castiel gets better at making his own decisions, but he’s never great at it. It’s always hard. He watches too much, he doubts himself, and he tries too hard.

He gets really good at reading Dean, though.

And time doesn’t flow the same way for angels as it does for humans-- Castiel mentions it several times.

GIF by you fought for this whole world (s05xe04)

(Couple of things, here:

“Is it Zachariah?” - present tense, not past, despite the fact that, according to Castiel himself, the angels have left Earth by endverse 2014. He’s orienting himself according to past-Dean’s timeline, almost seamlessly.

and

“Interesting.” - not “You could change this,” which is what everyone starts hammering past-Dean with when endverse!Dean (and endverse!Sam) get over their shock at the body-double. Even at the end of the world, Castiel is trying to spare Dean...something.)

(Unrelated to this larger diversion, but while we’re on Endverse...Castiel knew what endverse!Dean meant to do:

GIF by castiels-tight-grip (s05xe04))

Castiel knowing how Dean reacts to things, and Castiel observing Dean’s desire to NOT talk about it...well-established, as is Castiel watching Dean for cues on how to...be. So far, pretty bog-standard canon, yes?

Oh, Death...

Both Castiel and Dean die...a LOT. It’s handy Dean has a special relationship with big-D Death, isn’t it?

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Death is one of the few things that gets presented as more powerful than God. There are...a few others. The most important thing to know, Supernatural-canon-wise, is that when you meet one of these... Let’s call them “Absolutes”... they will be bound by at least one absolute law. There’s only a few entities that punch at this weight in the Supernatural universe. Death is one, and the Empty another.

The Absolutes. A weekend of selective binge-watching has taught me that they have more power than anything, but they cannot break their (few) laws. Death will reap even God, but can be killed by their own scythe. The Empty absorbs dead demons, monsters, angels, and demigods...but the monsters and demigods have to accept it; the Empty cannot break its own “rules.”

GIF by starlightcastiel (s13xe04)

As I mentioned above, Castiel dies several times. He usually has a ‘get out of jail’ card handy...but at the end of season 12, it looked pretty serious. Castiel was stabbed with an angel blade...by Lucifer. We even get the classic “The angel has left the building” animation:

GIF by dandelion-teabag (s12xe22)

And then we learn: Castiel did die...and he was sent where all dead angels go, to the Empty (not “It’s a Wonderful Life”). When first confronted with the Empty, Castiel bluffs it, then out-faces it, because he is, at heart, a fighter-- and “Thursday’s child has far to go”

GIF by starlightcastiel (s13xe04)

If he and Dean talked about this (doubtful), I’m sure Dean was laudatory -- Dean does practically the same thing to Death on several occasions.

GIF by purgatoryking (s06xe11)

Of course, Dean and Castiel can’t simply sass their way to true happiness, because that would be a different show. Eventually the counterfeit checks they’re trying to cash are going to catch up with both of them...because the Absolutes cannot bend their own rules.

“It’s getting dark, too dark to see...”

By roughly...season 14? 15? we’ve arrived at a point where Castiel has gone from reflecting Dean’s own choices back at him...

GIF by inacatastrophicmind (s04xe20)

...to one where he’s trying to make his own choices almost completely independently.

GIF by inacatastropicmind (s12xe22)

While Dean has gone from a healthy respect for anthropomorphic semi-deities...

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...to an ...uhhhh... whatever you call this...

GIF by sasquatchandleatherjacket (s13xe19)

(Note for folks who haven’t kept up with the show, as I haven’t -- that’s Billie, a Reaper who has taken over as ‘capital-D Death’ after Dean, uh, killed the first one...)

Both Castiel and Dean have grown! Good for them! Except... for the part where their own core natures are going to doom them anyway!

At...some point in season 14 or 15... Castiel makes a deal with the Empty to save his adopted-ish son, Jack. The terms of the deal? The Empty gets to claim Castiel if he is ever truly happy (because Castiel died, and dead angels go to the nothingness, the Empty can’t break rules).

Meanwhile, Dean and co. are embroiled in their usual, saving the world from some form of desolation. While doing so, he and Castiel (and Sam, one assumes) run into Chuck, who is ‘capital-G God.’ And God has this to say to Castiel:

GIF by inacatastrophicmind (s15xe17)

This is devastating in several ways. For one, God is a real dick. But also, the context is that God ran a great many universes...and they are now all living through the only one where predictable reality has gone off the rails. Even God can’t save you now-- his powers have been broken.

The endgame, then-- in s15xe18, Dean had Billie, Death herself, after him. Now Dean, being Dean, has decided that correct order of operations is that:

(a) he’s been so damn stupid, of course he’s an idiot and everyone is going to die and it’s all his fault (and on-and-on in true Dean-Winchester-self-flagellating style)

(b) and naturally he should die, because it’s what he deserves.

But Castiel has learned to make his own decisions, remember? And he learned long, long ago that he and Dean don’t talk about this kind of thing-- unless they’re going to fight about it:

GIF by spnsmile (s09xe10)

Maybe they’ve both been stupid, if for the right reasons, but Castiel is staring down a choice between everyone dying...or he calls in something in the same Absolute weight-class as Death, and only a few beings die. And in order to do that, he has to be...happy.

Which means he has to share how he feels... He hasn’t talked about it before because what do humans do when faced with something they want? They lie.

But now he has to say something. And without arguing with Dean or triggering his own guilt complex by weighing Dean down with something selfish that (Castiel thinks) Dean doesn’t want.

Which is how we get from here (s05xe22) ...

...to here (s15xe18).

GIF by deanwifechester

Is it fucking terrible and rage-inducing that Castiel got taken by the Empty almost immediately after saying his one true thing, in a meta way where we’re all so, so tired of LGBTQIA+ representation that is winked at or lampshaded or immediately turned into the ‘motivating sacrifice’? Fuck yes, it’s terrible.

Did the show earn that move, even if Castiel is for-real-really-gone-gone-dead? Was there the characterization of these two and the necessary world-building? Did they put in the work, build the rules? Also, frustratingly, yes.

Because what’s the alternative? Twelve years and no growth, no change? (You can say “Growth and change and they live,” but that’s for fix-it fic...)

Even if Dean thinks he wants his life to remain fixed, that’s always been one of his failings - and a fantasy.

GIF by castiels-tight-grip (s05xe04)

...And ladies, gents, and others - I give you my first, and probably my last serious, earnest Supernatural meta. Yikes.

#supernatural #meta #s15x18 #spoilers #gifs #many many gifs #also this is probably all really obvious #but I feel better typing it out for me #because I'm frustrated and ok with it at the same time?#ANYWAY

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the-trashy-phoenix · 3 years

Text

Supernatural season 5 review (part 1)

Link to part 2:

At the end of the previous season, as you remember, we were left speechless by all the plot twists happened in the last episode, leaving us on a cliffhanger. Of course we already know the aim of the entire fifth season will be stopping the Apocalypse, but we don’t have a clue, and neither do Sam and Dean at first, about how they’ll manage doing it, and that’s the whole point of this part of the show. As always, stopping the evil forces is not the only obstacle the brothers have to face, as there’s also a relational problem between them. This one is maybe the biggest so far, considering Sam himself caused the whole mess, to use an euphemism, they have to clean and will surely cause unpredictable tragedies all over the world (through the episodes, characters often refer to natural disasters). Sam’s guilt is nearly unbearable, and if we consider how considerate and kind he is we can assume it’s deadly painful for him, but that’s not the worst part. That’s not the reason why Dean can’t forgive him. Deep but not so deep inside he’s mad at his brother and can’t trust him because he refused to follow him and his advice and decided to trust Ruby’s plans. As always they’re both right: no one could say how evil Ruby was as she did a very good and long-term job in hiding it, and Dean himself trusted her, but the point is Sam made a choice and Dean can’t bare the fact that the only person he could really rely on chose someone else, especially because Sam’s choice proved to be extremely wrong. So paradoxically the real problem between them is not the Apocalypse, as Dean knows Sam would have never cause it on purpose, but the lack of trust, which is very difficult to restore (especially because they never maturely talk about it and they just do when they explode with anger and resentment) and which by the way prevents them from focusing properly on saving the world.

Moreover, the villain the world must be saved from is the worst you could imagine, Lucifer. This brings the fight on a superior level, as hell forces, now on earth, fight with heaven creatures, the angels we’ve met in the fourth season. The brothers are in the middle of this epochal war in the deepest sense, as both angels and demons want them on their side. Sam and Dean don’t know what to do, but they’re sure they will never ally with anyone, which is quite complicated because they’re deeply connected to both sides in an interesting way. As a matter of fact, in season four we've found out that not only Sam began the Apocalypse breaking the last seal, but also that Dean unintentionally started the whole thing breaking the very first seal when he accepted to torture souls down in hell. This makes Dean feel so guilty as well, and should make him consider Sam less responsible of the Apocalypse, and at some point he does, making it the real turning point in his view, as he realises they’ve been both cheated by angels and demons who made them their puppets assuming they would obey without arguing. Also, the brothers get to know they’re even more involved in the fight: Sam is Lucifer’s vessel, which means he’s the strongest human being able to carry the demon, but of course he has to say yes and he won’t, and Dean is Micheal’s vessel, which means he’s the only instrument angels have to make the archangel powerful enough to fight Lucifer and hopefully win the war. Sam’s choice is easy, as there’s no doubt Lucifer is evil, but still he has to bear a lot of pressure from Lucifer himself and his faithful demons who keep bothering him, Dean and Bobby the whole time.

Dean’s position is a lot more complex: he knows he’s the only hope to defeat hell creatures, but he’s also learned to be suspicious towards angels and would rather die than do what Zacharia wants, as he is not quite the type of person who easily forgives someone who’s been so mean to him. Somehow their only choice is quite clear, breaking free from both angels and demons and begin their own fight against all of them to stop the Apocalypse and save as many people as possible, as they seem to be the only ones caring for them. I think they know it from the beginning, but it’s a great step to take and before jumping into it they have to go through a process of inner growth, understanding how wrong it would be to take a side and how they just have each other to count on, even after all the lies and misunderstandings they’ve been through. After some time they’re ready to start their own fight, choosing carefully their soldiers in the people they trust the most and making an exception just for Castiel. He himself also went through a deep process of growth during which he becomes more and more human, both physically and spiritually, and brave enough to follow what he thinks is the right path despite the pressure from the angels, who are his family, and even if Sam and Dean’s idea of fighting against all supernatural creatures is desperate.

Of course Sam and Dean’s decision is sometimes not so firm: I’ll mention Dean’s temporary choice to say yes to Micheal, because it gives a great view of Dean’s inner self. He knows saying yes to Micheal means dying, so before leaving his body he goes to say goodbye to Lisa, his ex-girlfriend he met again some seasons ago, and tells her that she’s the only one he would imagine to be with in an hypothetical happy life. This scene really broke my heart because it’s one of the rare occasions in which Dean admits he dreams of a normal life, which could seem boring if he hadn’t experienced all the pain his life as a hunter brought him, free from the fear he constantly feels (and tries to hide in every way) and from all the burdens he has to carry every day. Dean seems even somehow happy to die, and it’s clear he hates the hunter life more than Sam, even if it’s the most important part of him. I appreciate so much Dean’s constant growth and development through the episodes and the increasing insight of his personality (which is, together with Sam’s, the most complex in the show) moving from the prototype of the narcissist and sexist guy to a deep and grown man.

In this season we also meet several times the other hunters who always keep in touch with and help Sam and Dean. Of course Bobby is still part of their team, and his storyline is developed as he has an accident that makes him lose the use of his legs. Castiel can’t help him because he’s lost his powers and Bobby cedes to deep depression. He feels more useless than ever and would do anything to have his legs again, considering how this is a huge handicap in his fully active hunter life, so he solves his problem the only way every character seems to know, making a deal with a demon. This one is particularly important as he’s a complex character whose intentions are not completely clear from the beginning, Crowley. He of course is a demon, and a very powerful one, but happens to help the Winchesters apparently without any reason giving them the Colt, the only weapon that could kill Lucifer (but it can’t, and the brothers will find out too late). I think this character will be a great source of satisfaction going on with the show.

Talking about hunters, I can’t but mention one of the saddest moments of the season. During the first attempt to kill Lucifer with the Colt, also Ellen and Jo get to help the “team free will”, as they’ve become full-time hunters after the destruction of their Roadhouse and are committed to the fight. Things don’t go as planned and the two women get killed by hellhounds aroused by Meg. Their death arises Sam and Dean’s guilt for all the good people dying to help them (and eventually they didn’t even manage to defeat Lucifer this time), because they refused to serve as vessels and chose to fight their own way. They still think that’s a good choice, but they have to constantly live with the burden of all the deaths they cause.

One of them keeps on tormenting Sam from the first season. He could never forget his guilt for Jessica’s death, but it becomes even more painful when he finds out she was meant to meet and love him and to be killed by demons from the start. Even his college best friend, who had presented Jess to him, was a demon, so that Sam was never destined to a normal life, even though he had tried so hard to build one, and everything that ever happened to him was meant to lead him to his predestined future, to become a hunter just as the father he had always wanted to break free from. This shocking revelation makes Sam cut once for all the hopes he had to stop being a hunter and to have a family one day: he now knows for sure he’s cursed (like his brother, who on the other hand can’t really let go that idea of a family) and understands he has to face his destiny without running away ever again.

I particularly liked the character of Chuck, the prophet, who can see in advance what will happen to Sam and Dean and help them, and Becky, the most dedicated fan of Supernatural, the series of books Chuck has written about the Winchesters. They also come together with the metanarrative of Supernatural itself, as Chuck wrote the books before knowing the whole story was real, and even after knowing it they keep on organizing events, such as the convention involving Sam and Dean themselves in episode 9, to bring together fans. At first it’s a bit of a shock, both for the protagonists and for us, but you get easily used to this mechanism of the show reflecting upon itself and it’s quite fun. I’m not a TV series expert, but I found this feature so original and kind of self-ironic I think that’s one of the elements which makes Supernatural unique.

Supernatural also touches kind of theological and philosophical themes through the narration about heaven and angels, focusing on their ambiguous morality, but in the fifth season also God has a space. At first he’s mentioned to justify Castiel’s resurrection (he had died at end of the fourth season) and at some point he seems to be the only one who is powerful enough to stop the Apocalypse and the war, but no one has seen him in years. The archangel Raphael says he’s dead and, when Sam and Dean go to heaven (which by the way wasn’t how I expected, as it’s just a place where you relive your happiest memories), Joshua tells them he’s alive but he doesn’t care anymore about his duties. That was quite predictable, but still it makes the brothers even more angry and hopeless, knowing that the angels are following orders from this God and that he has created humanity and forgot about it straightaway. This perspective about God is clearly made to make people think, and reflects how most of them feel about religion and Evil, which cannot be satisfactorily explained by the traditional idea of theology and free will (which by the way is the evocative name the brothers and Castiel give to their team). Sam and Dean need to find a way to reach their purpose to save the world and by doing it they can’t count on God or a good superior creature, but as always they can only count on themselves and do better than God himself did (which shouldn’t be too difficult).

Just when everything seems to be lost, an unexpected character, the Trickster, reveals himself. After giving us the last of his extremely funny and weird episodes, the brothers find out he’s the missing archangel, Gabriel: he’s an outsider in his family who broke free not to fight against his brothers, like Lucifer did, but to live a peaceful life far from all angels and demons’ issues. He’s neither good nor evil, because he doesn’t want to take sides, but it’s so clear he has a preference for Sam and Dean and kind of mirrors himself in their desire to follow their own path outside what heaven and hell have decided for them that he helps them explaining how they can defeat Lucifer. They have to collect the rings of the Four Knights, War, Famine, Death and Pestilence, to re-open Lucifer’s cage, but to do so Sam has to say yes to him and hopefully succeed in leaving it before falling down to hell. Of course Dean is not sure about the plan and doesn’t want his brother to do that, but they both know it’s the only way to stop the Apocalypse; also Sam is well aware of all the risks, but somehow feels it’s his chance to redeem and clear up the mistake he made. In one of the last scenes of the brothers together, Sam makes Dean promise the sweetest thing: he will not try to bring him back if he fails, and he will live a normal life with Lisa and Ben. The final fight ends really badly, as both Lucifer in Sam’s body and Micheal in Adam’s body (he’s the closest relative to Dean and the brothers, even if they tried, couldn’t protect him from angels, as another proof the Winchesters are cursed in their blood) fall and go back to Lucifer’s cage. I thought Dean would have never respected his promise, but the season unexpectedly ends with a peaceful scene of an ordinary dinner table where Dean, Lisa and Ben are happily eating as a proper family. But just when I thought the shock couldn’t be worse, the camera shows us we’ve seen this scene from a particular point of view, Sam’s. How can he possibly be back? What will he do now? We will surely find an answer in the next season…

- Irene 💕

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suncityblues · 3 years

Text

No Do Overs

Dean/Cas + Sam 6k words https://archiveofourown.org/works/28034862

Sam and Dean end up renting a house just outside Saint Cloud, Minnesota. It’s a single storey brick building with a little fireplace and a big backyard. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen. A living room with enough space for a couch, a tv, and a bookshelf. Ugly yellow-tan walls and blue checkered tablecloths, Bob Ross knock offs and seashell art.

It reminds them a bit of the motel rooms they had grown up in. Uniformal and familiar in some ways, a clean slate in others.

“Cozy,” Dean says sarcastically on their first walk through. “Hah, yeah,” Sam agrees with a huffy laugh, trying to disentangle himself from a low hanging seashell themed windchime.

Six months later they’re still living there. One closet is filled with weapons and other hunter ephemera, and there are sigils and protective warding where they need to be, but from the outside everything looks exactly the same. They’re just two adult brothers and a shaggy dog living in a house that looks like it was decorated by their grandma. Sam’s talked about maybe getting a plant or putting up the free calendar they got with their purchase from the dog food store but doesn’t seem to ever get around to it, and Dean doesn’t even pretend to settle in. As cliche as it sounds, when push comes to shove neither of them really know how to make a house into a home.

But they’re trying.

They’re trying because everything they did, every hurt and every loss they suffered, they did to get to this place. And never in a million years did they think they’d get this far, or feel this free, and it’s not an easy adjustment. There’s a loss there too, the dream they’d held on to for so long is real, and has gutters that need to be cleaned, and a dog that needs to be walked, and now they have to make up new things to hope for.

And, they’re trying for Jack. Because Jack brought everything back, and everyone, to make them happy. To give them the life they wanted. Sam and Dean know they don’t owe Jack anything but they want to give him something. In some roundabout way they want to make him proud.

They hear through the grapevine that Jack brought Castiel back first. That it was Cas who scooped everyone who wanted to be scooped out of heaven and popped them back into existence outside the bunker, but the angel doesn’t stick around. He’s not at the big spontaneous party that ensues, and he doesn’t show up in the weeks afterward where everyone hangs around the bunker getting their bearings and planning out their new lives.

Most people courteously pretend to not pick up on how cranky this makes Dean, or how often he checks his phone. Except for Bobby who tells him he’s a dumbass in a way that somehow sounds apologetic, and Charlie who gives him a lopsided smile every time they’re in the same room. It makes Dean feel overly seen which he’s not sure he’s ready for, even though he knows they love him, so he’s grateful when people start to go their separate ways. Though there is, of course, an active group chat and almost daily phone calls.

In a dream Jack had pulled them each aside and told them this is it. No do-overs this time. This world is really real, and they’re going to grow old or die trying. Then, just like that, he’s off to his big home renovation in the sky, with a placid smile and a “catch ya later.” It gives everyone a lot to think about, and a very bizarre and specific feeling of knowing God’s phone number.

Sam and Dean decide to leave the bunker, and retire. Maybe temporarily, or maybe permanently, they’re not sure. They collectively decide they need a break, at the very least, and they’ll figure the rest of it out from there. They don’t say it out loud but they don’t need to after so many years: they want to know what the world can look like without the constant pressing fear of death, or their father, or great cosmic importance.

The first house they find with a sweet elderly landlord who accepts suspect money orders and doesn’t do background checks is in St. Cloud. Eileen stays with them for a few weeks and then realizes she can’t do it, domesticity is not the thing she hoped it would be, and returns to the bunker. It makes Sam sad, and a little sullen, but he understands and doesn’t fault her for leaving.

Dean doesn’t bring it up.

—

Sam decides to get a day job to distract himself, and reliably pay their bills without having to scam credit cards or hustle pool anymore. His fake ID says Sam Westen.

Sam Westen has a business degree from a Canadian college no one’s ever heard of and works in insurance billing for the local hospital. He wouldn’t call them friends but his coworkers are pleasant. Not too nosey about why he doesn’t have an accent, or why he lives with his brother at the age of thirty nine.

When they do ask conversationally about how he came to move there, he considers lying and saying his great aunt left them the house when she passed, but he knows from experience these communities are small enough that little lies can come back to bite him in the ass so instead he says, “We’re both trying to get back on our feet after breakups.” In some ways it’s true, and Sam is actually a little relieved to not be making it up.

Finding things in common with his coworkers, or anyone really, is a challenge but he doesn’t hate hearing about the friendly ER nurse’s kid or breakroom speculation about whether or not it’ll snow, as much as he expected he would. One day it sneaks up on him that he can see himself moving forward, and maybe making a life here. St. Cloud is as good as anywhere, really.

He worries he’s compartmentalizing too much though, but he’s not sure how else to adjust to a world that’s not ending imminently. He’s never had to think about global warming before, or a 401K, but he’s doing his best.

—

Dean, on the other hand, prefers to mope.

At night when everything is quiet he can hear the distant sound of cars on the highway from his bed and sometimes it gets too much for him and he’ll take off. Only for a day or two, and always with a note left for Sam on the table or stuck to the fridge. He could text or say something but he’s afraid Sam might try and stop him, or talk to him about his feelings.

Dean’s not stupid, he’s noticed how Sam’s brow furrows at him when he thinks Dean can’t see. They know each other better than anyone else, and Dean can sense there’s only so much time before Sam’s patience runs out and they have a fight or a drunken heart-to-heart or both. Dean’s trying to stretch the remaining time out for as long as he can.

When he leaves, he drives aimlessly. Music loud, just him and the road, like how it used to be in that narrow space before everything happened when Sam was in school and his father had cut him loose. It was lonely at times but the grip of the steering wheel made him feel safe and like he had a purpose, like he was doing things for a reason rather than just wasting time or avoiding his problems, and in a way it still does, so he always comes back to the car, and to the aimless driving.

He figures that if he had been given a different life he still would have wanted to spend it on the road. Maybe he would have been a trucker. Or a door to door salesman, charming lonely housewives into buying vacuum cleaners all over the nation. He knows it’s dangerous to dream about what the past could have been, that it just reminds him that he’s pushing forty-two years old and has no idea what to do with himself, but does it anyway. The other thing about aimless driving is that it has this way of bringing up buried thoughts and forcing Dean to process them, especially when he doesn’t want to.

He tends to think about the same couple of things on repeat. How at this age people are supposed to have families. A kid, a job, something, something. It’s an old wound for him, and he’s gotten tired of rubbing salt in it but there was a time when he wanted a normal life so badly it hurt to even think about. And now, with the possibility laid out for the taking he’s hesitant to pick it up, and that sucks too. He thinks he might be a little jealous of Eileen, figuring out what she truly wanted so quickly and then acting on it. Then he thinks about Lisa, but only for a moment.

He wishes he could become a new, different person. Someone who knows who they want to be, and how to not hurt everyone around him. Because, god, he is so fucking sick of being Dean Winchester.

And, he wishes Castiel would just pick up his goddamn cellphone.

Dean looks through the mirror at the back seat more often than he should, and especially when this line of thinking wiggles its way into his brain. He doesn’t find anything there, doesn’t expect to, but keeps looking anyway.

Dean’s seen glimpses of Castiel mentioned in the group chat, and it’s a relief. Apparently he talks to Charlie sometimes, but only in dreams and only on rare occasions. He’s not much for answering phones or prayers, but according to her seems okay, maybe a little busy helping Jack. She very deliberately mentions that heaven seems to have a minimal interference policy these days, but wants to know if Cas has appeared to anyone in person in a while. Anyone at all.

Dean doesn’t know how to read into the situation. He’s not sure if Cas is avoiding him because he has to, or because he wants to, or because he thinks Dean doesn’t want to see him. For a brief moment Dean had let himself believe that their communication problems were over, now that Cas had come back from the empty. Now that feelings had been spoken out loud, and finally put into concrete terms. Love. Romantic, explicit love. That maybe there was a happy ending for Dean Winchester, somewhere out there. But now he doesn’t know, and isn’t sure if he ever will, not if Cas keeps avoiding him. It doesn’t feel too good to think about.

When his mood starts to take this particular downturn Dean usually finds a bar, hustles pool to pay his tab and drinks for a while to clear his mind. If he gets too drunk he’ll find a motel, or crash in the Impala even though these days it makes his back ache like hell.

But, he’s still the same handsome, charming Dean Winchester and people come on to him often but he can’t bring himself to go home with any of them these days. Sometimes it’s because he’s too old for them. Sometimes it’s because they’re too drunk. When he can’t think of an excuse he slips out the door when they’re in the bathroom. Dick move, he knows.

He likes the steady hum of human interaction, and the freedom of never seeing these people after this night, but that’s it.

Except.

One night, at a biker bar in Lincoln, Nebraska Dean gets whiskey drunk. Feeling chaotic and sad and self destructive he says to the bartender, “I lost someone I loved recently, and I don’t think he’s ever coming back. And I’m pretty sure it’s my own damn fault for feeling like that. But, fuck, I wish he’d come back.”

He’s never said the words out loud like that before. It sobers him up immediately, because he’s in mixed company and who knows what kind of assholes are hanging around looking for a fight. Dean would have left right then and there if the bartender didn’t give him a beer and a shot on the house.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” the bartender had said, and Dean knew he meant it. He was tall but not as tall as Dean, and tan, and thick lipped. Dark blue eyes, a bit of stubble. Terribly similar but not quite right. Still, Dean ended up staying until he was the only one left and halfway blacked out. At the end of the night the bartender had given him a pity handjob in the men’s room and then told him to head out so he could close up.

“But, hey, don’t drive tonight, okay?” he’d said, and that was that.

Before Dean passes out in the Impala he wonders if maybe he reminded the bartender of someone he’d lost, too.

—

Time keeps passing.

They’ve been in the house for nine months. It’s the dead of winter in Minnesota and everyday is somehow colder than the last one.

Sam has a girlfriend now. Her name is Mia, she’s blonde and wirey, has a seven year old kid named Leo and a deadbeat ex named Jonah. She’s a little damaged and rough around the edges but hard working, and smart. An ER nurse with a dark sense of humor, but under it all it’s easy to tell she’s an optimist, even when she has no reason to be. Dean likes her very much, and is happy for Sam.

But, Sam starts spending more time away from the house, and from Dean. It makes Dean feel like one of his organs is missing sometimes, but he resolves to get used to it, for Sammy’s sake.

Sam still gives him sad, searching looks when Dean comes back from a stint on the road, but says nothing. Dean pretends not to notice. They still haven’t had their fight, but the tension is palpable between them.

Dean thinks about getting a job but never follows through. He picks up smoking because, why not, he doesn’t have to keep himself in top hunting shape anymore, then quits. It’s too cold to hang around outside and it makes his lungs feel like shit, besides.

He gains healthy weight, and his cheeks look less hollowed out. He jogs with the dog and lifts weights to pass the time and somehow feels stronger than he used to be, but not as quick. He starts to feel like he’s inhabiting a stranger’s body, instead of his own, and doesn’t like that either.

Occasionally, Sam will gently suggest that Dean go out and meet someone. Download an app, maybe. Try and reach out again to… he never quite finishes the sentence. Sam intentionally doesn’t mention gender and the unspoken encouragement sits heavy and weird between them. Sam’s known for a long time and doesn’t care. He guesses everyone in his life knows, at this point. Dean’s tried to be subtle, with other men, with how he looked at Cas sometimes but it’s hard to keep things like that from the people who love you.

Still, it’s an uncomfortable subject to broach for the brothers, not because of the bisexuality thing but because it requires a level of emotional honesty and vulnerability neither of them have much experience with.

Sam just wants his big brother to be happy, to find someone, and to have something, anything to look forward to. Dean’s had that black mark on his heart his whole life, and Sam doesn’t think he can grieve Dean even one more time, or go through the rest of his life without his big brother to talk to. Not now.

It makes Dean feel guilty, like he’s hurting Sam by not being happy, because Sam is struggling too and worrying about Dean is just another issue on top of a mountain of issues. Besides, Dean is so, so tired of making Sam worry.

But he keeps up his disappearing act. He thinks it would probably be worse for them both if he didn’t.

—

Then, somewhere on the road between La Crosse and Dubuque, Dean sees a man in a trenchcoat standing under a streetlight. Dean stops the car but when he does a double take the man is gone.

It’s dark and Dean is tired so he tells himself he’s seeing things, and continues driving. He does not let himself hope.

—

It keeps happening though.

Small glimpses here and there. In a gas station in Boise, a dive bar in Pecatonica. Never in his car, which Dean is oddly grateful for, if only because he thinks he might be so irritated that he swerves off the road. But it pisses him off, all the same.

Because if Cas is going to come back like nothing happened and start acting like some kind of guardian angel, Dean is not going to play ball.

About a month in, Dean gets fed up and decides to pray. Just a simple: “Where are you?”

He gets nothing back. Life continues as normal. Dean can’t stop himself from feeling a little annoyed about it.

—

Then one day there he is. Poof. Just like that.

The microwave clock says 5:45 AM, and Dean is stumbling in after a long night. The grey-blue of early morning light comes in through the windows and there’s snow falling outside for the fourth day in a row. Castiel is sitting at the kitchen table, waiting patiently in the half-dark.

“Hello Dean,” he says.

Dean pauses, blinks slowly, and then silently walks past the angel and goes into his room to sleep. He thinks he can hear an irritated huff on his way out. Good.

About two hours later Sam shakes him awake.

“Cas is home” He says excitedly. Dean rolls out of bed. Reminds himself to make fun of Sam at a later date.

—

Something strange is happening in Altoona, Pennsylvania.

People are disappearing for days at a time, then reappearing as though nothing happened. The last thing any of them can remember is a flash of bright light over the Mill Run River. Claire is there checking it out and Castiel had been keeping an eye on her, and recently started providing an assist when needed. They’ve hit a dead end with their research.

“Claire suggested I come and ask you, I know you’re not in the game per se anymore but—“

“Aliens?” Sam cuts him off, incredulous. Dean can almost see the gears clicking together inside his brother’s head. “This isn’t the frickin X-files,” Dean kvetches. He’s still mad at Cas but he’s interested in the case, in solving the mystery, and he can’t seem to muster up the energy to make a big deal right now. He hates to admit it but seeing Cas alive and well in front of him replaces most of his anger with relief. Dean wishes dearly that he could reach out and touch him.

Cas nods slowly. “Claire’s been looking into it, but can’t seem to find any relevant patterns. I thought you two might know something.”

Dean puts on a pot of coffee while Sam gets his laptop.

No one says anything about Castiel disappearing on them for almost an entire year, or asks why he decided to show up in person for something that could have easily been a phone call, or even why Claire never thought to tell anyone Cas was spending time with her. But Sam is watching them both with a kind of intensity that makes Dean think he might get a sunburn on the back of his head from the heat of it. Cas doesn’t seem to notice.

The best explanation they can come up with is a Spooklight. A soul trapped searching for a lost lover. Relatively harmless, a standard salt and burn once they locate the bones.

“Huh,” Sam says after he reads the definition out loud. If Dean didn’t know better he’d think his brother sounded a little smug.

Castiel thanks them and then he’s gone. In the distance Dean hears the clink of the seashell wind chimes on the front porch.

“Huh,” Sam says again, this time in Dean’s direction, “I thought there’d be more yelling.”

Dean ignores him and gets himself a breakfast beer, while Sam texts the group chat.

—

Castiel returns occasionally after that, usually with questions about a hunt he could probably answer himself. He’s been keeping an eye on Claire it seems, keeping her safe, though he knows he should just let things take their course like he’s supposed to. But he has some Claire-related guilt to work through, and it’s not like he has to follow any rules in heaven anymore, anyway. He is God’s dad, after all.

At some point Sam asks why Castiel stayed away for so long, and Cas replies simply, “I had thought you might like some time to adjust.” Sam gets a little huffy, but makes Cas promise not to do it again. They are both studiously avoiding Dean’s direction when they talk.

Later, Sam speculates to Dean that Castiel is in the same boat as they are: not fully able to accept everything is over. And, maybe a little bored.

Sam has said “I wish he’d just come home, and stay here,” so many times and in such a pointed way that it makes Dean want to hit him or break something.

More recently, Cas has come by just to say hello, but only ever when Sam is home. Because Sam had specifically asked him to, and Castiel doesn’t like saying no to his friends. They’ll watch TV or talk about Sam’s coworkers and sometimes Castiel will talk about a particularly interesting hunt he’d helped Claire with, and then stop himself, and ask if it’s okay to continue. Both Winchesters listen with rapt attention, and always ask for more details. Cas has met Mia and they get along, he’s even babysat Leo so Sam and her can go to an R rated movie. Mia’s never asked Dean to babysit. When Dean finds out he’s not jealous but he is something.

Dean finds himself staying around the house more in case Cas stops by while he’s out. He goes a whole month without leaving, a record for him. He can tell Sam’s noticed, and is pleased. They still haven’t had their fight.

Castiel continues to pop up in the corner of Dean’s eye from time to time when he’s out, until one day Dean gets fed up and yells “Knock it off!” To a very confused Buffalo Wild Wings employee.

Dean has to tip extra to make up for it and mentally adds it to Cas’ tab. He thinks it’s around a million billion dollars now.

—

It’s early spring, and still unbearably cold outside.

Dean now owns a pair of sturdy waterproof boots that are fuzzy on the inside. They’re so warm that he doesn’t even care that they’re ridiculous and girly. If he’s got to shovel and salt the walkway for the third time that week, he’ll be damned if he’s going to do it with cold feet.

Dean could pretend to be surprised when Castiel pops into existence on their front porch but there’s no point. Almost nothing surprises him, and hasn’t for a long time.

“Dean” Castiel says grimly, “I apologize if I offended you.”

It takes Dean a moment to even remember what Cas is talking about.

“Is this about Buffalo Wild Wings, man?” He asks. He keeps his tone light, like an exasperated joke.

Castiel nods. “Yes.”

Dean exhales loudly through his nose.

“I’ve been keeping an eye on you, to make sure you were adjusting well, but I didn’t realize I was being so… conspicuous,” Cas continues with a head tilt.

Dean doesn’t think this is completely true, Cas can become an invisible wave of celestial intent on a whim but Dean doesn’t want to argue about it.

“It’s whatever, Cas, but you know you can just text me if you want to check in, right?” Dean says carefully, “We’re, ah, we’re friends.” Then, with emphasis, “We’re family.” He knows those aren’t the words he wants to say, and feels a sharp pang at the unhappy look on Cas’ face when he repeats Dean with a nod, “Friends.” But Dean doesn’t know what else to call them. It’s been almost a year of radio silence.

He still wants to get mad, he wants to yell and and throw things and ask Cas what the fuck happened back then, to please just spell out how he feels, but the truth is, Dean’s not sure he’s brave enough to hear the answer. You don’t avoid someone for a year for no reason and it’s all kind of a headache.

Dean realizes belatedly that this is the first time Cas has come to visit when Sam isn’t around to referee. He stands in the snow and wants to tell Cas to stay and watch an old movie with him but can’t seem to find the words so he just keeps shoveling. He thinks about putting his arm around Cas. He thinks about leaning over and kissing him during the closing credits. Then, he feels stupid and embarrassed. He doesn’t need to look up to know Castiel is gone.

About forty five minutes later Dean takes off for the first time in a long while. He forgets to leave Sam a note and wakes up in Minot to five missed calls.

Just another fuckup for Dean to add to his ever growing list of fuckups.

—

Castiel stays away for a few weeks after that, and Dean can’t help himself from taking it out on innocent bystanders. Usually it’s Sam, sometimes it’s dinner plates, other times it’s Jim Beam.

When he finally reappears in the kitchen it’s as smooth a landing as it always is, but Cas seems a little off kilter. When Sam asks about it, Cas brushes him off. Sam doesn’t press the issue, and instead asks about how Claire is doing.

Dean is cooking some eggplant recipe Sam printed out from the internet and pretends not to be listening as intently to their conversation as he is.

Mia and Leo are on their way over for dinner and Dean has the sinking realization he’s been lured into a trap. Cas would never say no to doing a favor for Sam, even if it’s just to pretend to eat during a family dinner. Dean has no excuse. He really should have known something was up when Sam told him to double the recipe and he can’t believe he’s stuck cooking dinner for his own trap. Typical.

Dean gets a beer from the fridge to drink while he cooks.

“Hey, Cas” he says on his way. He cautiously pats Cas on the shoulder.

“Hello, Dean” Castiel replies.

—

Dinner isn’t as awkward as Dean had expected.

Mia tells a grizzly story about an ER case involving a wood chipper and a truckload of watermelons which enthralls Dean. Castiel covers Leo’s ears while she tells it, but nods along, fascinated. Sam’s heard the story before but enjoys the company, and he keeps looking hopefully between Dean and Castiel. Dean pretends not to notice, but some part of him wants to chuck a fork at Sam’s head.

After dinner they eat a fudgy cake Mia had brought and watch a movie about a gruff-yet-socially-inept detective trying to solve his wife’s murder. It’s boring, and Dean’s seen this kind of movie a million times before so he gets a beer and takes it outside to drink. The weather is finally warm enough that the snow’s melted into sloppy mud but cold enough that Dean needs to wear a jacket.

Still, it’s nice to not be stuck inside all the time anymore. Dean thinks he’s officially over midwestern winters.

He’s not surprised when Cas joins him. He has a beer in his hand too, which Dean knows is actually for him. Just keeping up appearances for the unsuspecting humans, as Castiel likes to do, but he’s forgotten to pretend to need a coat. Dean doesn’t bother telling him to get one since Mia is so busy snuggling into Sam’s side that she probably didn’t notice anything.

They sit on the back porch in silence for a while, watching the stars.

After a moment Castiel says, “You know, Dean, I heard your prayer. I’m sorry I didn’t come. I wasn’t sure if you...” he trails off.

“What, in the car?” Dean asks. “That was nothing, no big” he shakes it off like it didn’t put him in a bad mood for a week afterwards.

”In the bar” Castiel corrects, “In Lincoln.”

”Oh,” is all Dean can muster. He’s a little embarrassed Cas saw that but doesn’t let it show.

They’re quiet again, then Cas turns towards him. He starts to say something but Dean shakes his head and Castiel stops.

Dean drinks a few more beers, and then sneaks two fingers of whiskey while Sam walks Mia to her car. Castiel stays by Dean’s side. It feels like old times. They shoot the shit, and Cas even laughs at Dean’s jokes. Dean didn’t realize how much he missed the sound.

Maybe it’s the alcohol or maybe it’s the late hour, but Dean falls asleep with his head on Cas’ shoulder. He wakes up a few hours later hungover and sour mouthed but warm, unnaturally so. Castiel is still next to him. He smiles benevolently down at Dean. Dean smiles back.

He acts on autopilot and presses a chaste good-morning kiss to Cas’ lips, like he always wanted to do. Because this world is real now, and maybe he can do that. Just once, so he knows what it feels like.

Then Castiel disappears, and Dean falls out of the chair.

—

Dean can tell Sam’s disappointed in him when Dean says he fell asleep outside.

“That’s it?” Sam asks “You just fell asleep?” He cocks his head, “Nothing else happened?” “Nope,” Dean confirms, tensely. He hates this conversation deeply. “Oh. Cas didn’t say goodbye, so I thought maybe—“

Sam’s trying to tiptoe around Dean’s own hang ups. Dean can tell he’s really trying.

Dean’s head is pounding as he gets himself a cup of coffee, takes a sip, then says fuck it and pours a bit of whiskey in it too. Hair of the dog and all that.

Sam huffs.

“You’re forty-two years old, Dean Winchester” he snaps. Dean knew this fight was a long time coming, and is honestly relieved it’s finally bubbled to the surface, but the difference between them right now is especially stark. Dean is unemployed, hungover, wearing yesterday’s clothes and drinking in the morning. Sam is ready for work, having already gone for a jog and showered. Dean can smell Sam’s fancy shower scrub from a few feet away. Sandal wood.

Sam gets up and grabs his work bag, says “When are you ever going to grow up, Dean?” But doesn’t wait for an answer. Not like Dean would have one anyway.

Dean pours a little more whiskey into his coffee while he watches Sam pull out of the driveway in his used Ford. He thinks to text Castiel and apologize but then decides not to. He feels like a tool who is ruining everything all the time and totally incapable of changing, and he doesn’t know how to properly convey that in text form without sounding needy or unhinged.

Instead, Dean jerks off in the shower, gets dressed, and writes Sam a note. Then he gets in the Impala and takes off.

He makes it halfway to Bemidji before he breaks down and prays. He stops to piss on the side of the road in some no-name stretch of forest between Bakus and Akeley and when he gets back in the car Cas is there waiting for him in the passenger seat.

“Took you long enough,” Dean teases as he pulls back onto the road, but it’s an act and they both know it. “Dean.” Cas says his name like it’s a warning. Dean knows Cas might bail out at any moment, so he stops kidding around.

It helps Dean to have his eyes on the road while he’s talking. It settles him down, and it’s easier to say what he wants to say without having to make eye contact.

It still takes him a moment to compose himself.

“I’m sorry” he says, “for yesterday, I didn’t mean to upset you. And I don’t want you to disappear on me, on us, again.”

Cas is quiet. They don’t say anything for a long time. And then, sadly: “I was trying to be your friend Dean. I was trying to be family. Friends don’t kiss each other. But I wanted to kiss you, so I thought maybe...”

On a whim Dean turns and starts driving towards Grand Forks. Some lame joke about friends with benefits being totally valid bounces around in his brain but he doesn’t say it. When it becomes clear Castiel isn’t going to say anything else, Dean sighs.

“Listen, Cas, I’m bad at this. You know I’m bad at this. Talking. Feelings. All of it. But,” Dean doesn’t have to look over to make sure Cas is still there but does anyway, “I want to try. With you. For real. If you want.”

Dean can feel Castiel’s stare on him for a long time. He gets nervous so he goes on.

“And. And I wish I had told you how I felt years ago, I wish I had had the chance to-to make you happy,” Dean is glad he’s able to look at the road and not Castiel, “But, fuck, why didn’t you come back?”

“I’m sorry, Dean” Castiel relies, cautiously, “I should have. I thought maybe you wouldn’t want to see me, and I was afraid, but I know now that was stupid.” A bitter pause, “I tried to give you space, to let you move on. And, Dean, you were supposed to move on, and forget me, and be happy.”

Dean’s not sure what to make of that, and doesn’t want Cas to disappear out of the car on him so he reaches over and grabs Cas’ hand in his. It’s warm.

The words don’t come easy so he hopes Cas hears the prayer: I could never, ever be happy if I didn’t have you here.

They keep driving in silence for a long time until Cas says: “Pull over there”, and points at a sign for a roadside diner just off the next exit, “I want French fries.”

This, Dean knows, is bullshit but he does what he’s told.

They eat French fries and drink stale coffee and talk.

On the way back to the car, Dean pushes Castiel up against the side of the Impala and kisses him and doesn’t care who sees. Castiel kisses back this time. Dean feels the happiest he has in a long, long time.

—

It’s the very end of summer and Mia is moving into the brick house with the little fireplace and the big backyard. She’s insisting on painting the walls, and getting rid of the seashell art. She keeps the Bob Ross knockoffs though, says she finds them calming after a stressful work day.

Leo is moving into Dean’s old room.

Sam bought a fold out couch for whenever Dean is back in town, and when they save up he promises they’ll move into a house with a guest room just for him. And Cas. And the dog.

Dean pats him on the shoulder. In exchange, Dean promises to check in with Sam every day, and call if they ever need help with anything. Dean plans to, and misses Sam already but knows it’s time.

Even after two years, everything Dean owns can fit in three duffel bags, one for clothes, and two for weapons. He puts them in the trunk of the Impala and looks up at the house one more time, then gets in. Cas is waiting for him in the passenger seat.

“Where to?” Dean asks. “Anywhere,” Cas replies.

And, so, Dean drives off aimlessly.

#destiel #fic #supernatural #dean winchester/castiel #My fic #spn #i’m going to cross post some of my fics to tumblr today fyi

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collecting-stories · 4 years

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Velvet Elvis - Dean Winchester

A/N: Trying my hand at some Supernatural💕

Soft to the touch, feels like love, knew it as soon as I felt it. - Velvet Elvis, Kacey Musgraves

\\\

He said it enough times that it should’ve been true. And maybe he could fool other people into thinking that it was. Thinking that this wasn’t the kind of life that he wanted to live. That getting a case was arguably the best moment of his day. He couldn’t do ‘days off’ and he got antsy sitting around and there were only so many times he could take Baby apart and put her back together. He’d tried the so-called ‘apple pie life’ with Lisa and Ben and it was alright and he was kind of happy but he always felt like there was something missing. Always looking over his shoulder waiting for the other shoe to drop. He kind of hoped that it would.

But he talked about his dream life all the time, just to convince himself that he didn’t want to die alone hunting some monster or demon. That he wanted kids, a family, all the stuff you were supposed to have. The kind of relationship his parents had, or didn’t get the chance to really have. He told himself he wanted that. And there were parts that were true. He wanted the companionship, someone that wasn’t just Sam. Someone who loved him the way his mom loved his dad. Someone he could come home to. And kids, he wasn’t sure what kind of a parent he would be but he wanted the chance to find out. But the other stuff he didn’t care about. The house with the white picket fence and the steady 9-5 and the typical happy suburban family. None of that actually mattered. But he was convinced it mattered to other people.

“You think we’ll ever have that?” Sam had asked, sitting in the war room after a particularly nasty hunt. They’d leaned on an old friend for help, one who was retired now, with all those things that Sam and Dean constantly talked about wanting and it had gotten them both thinking.

As the newest edition in their never-ending quest you were mortally aware of the invisible but still painfully obvious wall between you and them. You were just research, a helping hand around the bunker to pay off a favor you couldn’t remember owing. And they were alright and Sam was always trying to include you in their ‘woe is me’ discussions but you usually just ignored them. Tonight was no different, Sam posed the question to the room but really the question was for his brother.

You looked up from the book you were reading and over to Dean. He was stretched out, with his feet propped on the edge of the table and a beer in his hand, trying to look more relaxed than he felt. Sam was nice to you but Dean was nice to look at. The flirtatious comments were shallow and any conversation was kept above a certain level of seriousness. Dean was quite ready to let himself be friends with you. And you’d heard rumours from other hunters about the Winchester’s. Hanging with them was like signing your own death certificate. The people closest to them always bit the bullet and they never looked out for anyone but themselves.

You figured that’s what it was. That was the invisible wall you couldn’t quite scale. Dean thought, or knew, you would die just like Kevin and everyone else and he was avoiding the loss by not getting close to begin with. Or he just didn’t like you. Which you would rather not consider.

“Maybe, someday.” Dean finally replied, feet landing on the ground, “who knows though, we’re not getting younger.”

“What do you think?” Sam looked over and it took a moment to realize he was addressing you.

“Me?” You asked, just to be sure.

“No one else in here sweetheart,” Dean cut in.

Raised in the life, with only an ounce more stability than they had, your own father was never looking for anything in particular. And your mom wasn’t dead. She was somewhere, probably a beach, but not dead. You liked the road and the living in different places and the learning about monsters. You never had any illusions about this life, never even considered getting out of it.

“I don’t know,” you shrugged, you didn’t talk much to them about your own life. You weren’t interested in manoeuvring around their preconceived ideas about this life and the one they said they wanted. Hunters didn’t always make the best companions and explaining hunting to non-hunters usually sent them running so it had been a while since you’d bothered with any real relationship. The most interaction you had with others since your dad died was these two and Castiel on occasion. That was really the only thing holding you back from the parts of normalcy that you were truly interested in.

“Yeah me either.” Sam mused.

Dean was staring at you as you resumed reading, jotting down notes every couple of paragraphs. You had expressed interest in a ‘more concise and chronological’ history of the Men of Letters and their legacy and Sam had been more than willing to allow you the opportunity to go through the records. You’d been pouring yourself into it for a couple of months now and playing research point for them whenever they were away on a case. Both of them liked having you around the bunker and while Sam had an easier time of it Dean wasn’t adverse to getting to know you. He just didn’t know where to start. It was easy with Charlie, there was no attraction there so she just became another ‘one of the guys’ in his brain but he had trouble separating you into that category.

He wasn’t sure there was any attraction on your side, you didn’t seem remotely interested in either of them, but he was most definitely attracted to you. He’d tried all his usual lines and none of them seemed to even register with you. Sam has suggested the obvious route, just talking to you and letting things work out on their own but Dean was more results oriented. He wanted things to happen immediately so he could gauge the outcome better. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to put in the work but he was reluctant to when he suspected there might be no positive result.

“I’m heading to bed,” Sam announced, setting his beer on the table as he stood up, “I wanna run into town tomorrow morning.”

That left you and Dean. He was still leaning back in his chair, his eyes straying to you once more. Fully engrossed in your book, there was something unexplainably calming about you like this. Sometimes when you were in the library or the war room working Dean would just sit there, fully relaxed by your presence. His favorite was when you called him over in passing. He’d be on the way to the kitchen or his room and you’d lean back in your chair, spitting him and smiling and you’d wave him over with an excited ‘listen to this’.

“How’s it coming along?” He asked, testing out the room now that Sam was gone.

“There’s just so much information, it’s fascinating though.” You replied, “if this is all I do for the rest of my life I’ll be happy.”

“So that’s a no to the white picket fence then?” He laughed, tipping back his beer and taking a sip. He had his suspicions that you were just like him, disinterested in retirement and settling down and working regular jobs.

“I guess so,” you shrugged, an uneasy laugh escaping.

The two of you never had this kind of conversation.

“I don’t think I’d want it either,” Dean finally said. “I’ve been thinking about it a lot and I just, I think I’d get bored.”

“It’s not for everyone, but everyone says that it should be.” You replied, “I think I want parts of it ya know, the partner, maybe a kid or two.”

“A nice even number.” Dean joked.

“But I mean, I don’t need the house and all the hubbub. Not that I’ll live here forever but this is just as nice as any house to raise a kid in. Don’t you think?”

“Yea,” Dean looked over at you as you focused on your book once more, jotting down a note and marking the page with a tab. “You could stay here.” He said offhandedly before his brain could catch up with his mouth.

“I can stay?” You asked, smiling at him, your tone playful.

He smiled back at you, taking another sip of his beer as he watched you. He could laugh and play it all off as some half-way to drunk joke or he could be more than honest with you. Tell you he really was starting to care about you, far more than he had shown you in the couple of months that you had been living with them. Or he could kick back and let things happen the way they would, following fate or something like that. “I wouldn’t hate it.” Dean finally said.

Here’s me indulging in how much I love Dean.

#dean Winchester imagine #dean Winchester fanfiction #dean Winchester fanfic #dean winchester x reader #spn imagine #spn fanfiction #spn fanfic #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural fanfic #cs discography series #collecting stories imagine

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jiminthestreets-bonesinthesheets · 5 years

Text

A Magic Kingdom Love : Epilogue

Title: A Magic Kingdom Love

Fandom: Supernatural

Pairing: Destiel

Tags: fluff, just so much fluff. It gets a little heated at one point but that’s it.

Summary:

“An AU where Dean and Cas are both working for Disney and have been cast as the very first gay princes. And at first they hate each other but it’s hard to pretend you’re in love all day for sweet, shy kids, and then not makeout under the bridge of the magic kingdom castle.”

AO3 Link

Masterlist

A/N:

So, all of you are so freaking amazing, and the love I got for this story from both here and AO3 made my heart absolutely melt. So many people wanted the epilogue and so, I have gifted to all of you, the epilogue you all have been so patiently waiting for!!

I do want to say thank you to everyone who read this, and commented, you are so sweet and I love each and every single one of you! Your words always inspire me to write more, so from the bottom of my heart, thank-you all <3<3<3

And so without further adieu, please enjoy!! And if anyone is interested in being tagged in future destiel fics let me know :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Epilogue

Dean found himself in an all too familiar place, a place he had been in many times over the last two years, and it never got old.

Standing backstage of the balcony to the Magic Kingdom Castle, Dean took the few steps to close the gap between him and Cas, holding out his hands for Cas to take. He took them, pulling Dean in closer to him, their noses touching as Dean whispered, “You ready?”

Cas nodded, leaning in to touch his lips gently to Dean’s in a simple kiss, “Ready,” he whispered back with a smile.

Dean turned them just as Ellen’s voice was heard over the sound system announcing their names, held his arm out for Cas, and walked them through the curtain and out onto the balcony.

They smiled and waved to the crowd below, Dean holding Cas tightly to his side as Ellen came to stand beside them.

She placed a hand on Dean’s shoulder as the crowd died down and spoke into the mic, “Two years ago we welcomed Prince Dean and Prince Castiel into our home here at the Magic Kingdom, and they very quickly became a very big part of our family. And today, we bring you all together to make yet another announcement!” Ellen gave the crowd a second to cheer then settle again before she continued, “This is one of the biggest announcements we have ever had here at the Magic Kingdom and I am so honoured to be the one to announce to you all the engagement of Prince Dean and Prince Castiel!”

The crowd blew up into cheers, hoots and hollers, whistles and screams. Prince Dean and Prince Castiel had become such a big part of the park, it was only expected that the guests would be over the moon about the announcement of their engagement. The two stood together wrapped in each others arms and waved to the crowd, the thick gold band on Cas’s left hand now being the centre of everyone's gaze.

Once the crowd began to die down, Ellen stepped up placing a hand on Dean’s shoulder to address the crowd once again, “Now there is more that Prince Dean and Prince Castiel would like to share with you all, so I will pass the mic off to our Prince Dean.”

She handed the mic to Dean and he took it, turning back to the crowd. “Hello everyone! Prince Cas and I are so excited to finally be able to share this exciting news with you! Cas and I would like to thank our friends Bobby and Ellen for managing to keep it a secret this long,” both Ellen and Bobby winked at the boys, both shooting them a thumbs up from the sidelines, “we would also like to announce that Prince Cas and I will be getting married right here in the park, at the Magic Kingdom Castle, and we are extending an invitation to all of the people of the kingdom!”

The crowd went wild, everyone more than thrilled to be invited to the wedding of the year, the century, probably even the millenium. Surely the turn out for the wedding would be far larger than anything the park had ever experienced before.

“We can’t wait to see you all there and be able to share this happy day with everyone!” He then turned to Cas who was still wrapped up against his side, smiling up at him with adoring eyes, ‘Would you like to tell the wonderful people of the kingdom the date of our wedding, Honey?”

Cas smiled even wider at his fiance, leaning in to the mic Dean was holding towards him, much more confident now than he was when he first started at the park, especially with Dean by his side, “Prince Dean and I will be getting married on August nineteenth.”

“Would you like to tell them why we picked that particular date, my love.”

Cas grinned, using his finger to turn Dean’s face from the crowd towards him, their noses now touching, “Because that’s the date we first met each other, and the day I fell in love with you.”

Dean leaned in, their lips ghosting each others and whispered, “Me too, Cas.”

The crowd awed at the coupe before them, and though he would be the last to admit it, Dean would tell you he was sure he saw Bobby sniffling off to the side as Ellen came over and took the mic.

Wiping away a tear of her own, she spoke as clearly as she could to the crowd, “Let’s hear it for Prince Dean and Prince Castiel! May your wedding day be filled with joy and love to hold you till the end of time.”

As the crowd cheered again with her words, she took her two boys in for a hug. The couple gave a few last waves before turning to leave the balcony, though Cas couldn't resist stopping them just before the curtain, where the crowd was still able to see them both, and pulling Dean’s face to his for a long sweet kiss.

~~~~~~~~~~~

“You really don't have to do this.”

Dean stood with his arms crossed in the driveway, watching as Sam placed the last box of his belongings in the moving truck he had rented. He pulled the back closed and locked it before turning back to Dean with a small smile, “It's time, Dean. And tomorrow you and Cas will be married and I’m not about to impose on that. I’m finished school now and about to start at a new firm, time to be a big boy.”

“But you don't have to, Sammy,” Dean took a step forwards, brows furrowed, “you can stay if you’re not ready to leave. Cas and I both agree that you’re welcome here.”

Sam gave Dean that little knowing smirk, the one that said he knew Dean all too well for his own good, and clasped his hand over his shoulder, “Dean, you’re gunna be fine. I know this is going to be new for you, not having me here as much, especially without the promise of me coming back for summers after school anymore. But I’m not far, just around the corner, and you and Cas need to start your lives together the right way. And that’s without a little brother in the way. Trust me, you and Cas will be fine without me.”

Dean sighed. Maybe Sam was right, he was panicking over the change, but with Cas by his side and Sammy just around the corner, he would get through it. “I’ll still miss you.”

“You can come over any time,” he smiled as Dean pulled him in for a hug, “and I’m sure I’ll be over raiding your fridge on more than one occasion.”

“You better,” Dean gave his back a pat before pulling back and clearing his throat, just in time to see Cas coming out of the house with Charlie, “You heading out, babe?”

“Yes,” Cas nodded, coming to stand beside Dean who kissed his temple, “Charlie is taking me to a bar then we will be heading back to her place.”

“What bar are you going to-”

“Ah! Nice try, Dean Winchester,” Charlie jumped in and cut him off before Cas could answer, “you know the rules, no seeing the groom until you’re walking down the aisle tomorrow. And don't even think about trying to trick Sam into finding us. We have already collaborated and planned it so that you and Cas will not cross paths at all until tomorrow at the wedding.”

Dean gave his shoulders a shrug with a sheepish grin, “Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

Everyone chuckled at him, and Cas suddenly found his eyes wandering towards the small moving truck behind Sam, his smile quickly fading, “Sam, you know you do not have to move, Dean and I are not forcing you out.”

Sam quickly raised his hands, “It's nothing to worry about, Cas. I know you and Dean have both made it very clear that I can stay but I want to give you two the space you deserve. And I’m actually excited to move into my house and maybe even start a life and family of my own.”

“Well, I am glad to hear that,” Cas’s smile returned, then he turned to lean into Dean’s space once again, “we should get going.”

Dean nodded as he pulled Cas in by the waist, “I don't like this tradition of not seeing each other until tomorrow, who am I gunna cuddle with while I sleep?”

“You mean cling to and droll on?” Dean chuckled and Cas laughed too as he wrapped his hands around Dean’s neck to lean in and whisper, “It will just make tomorrow night all the more thrilling.”

Dean hummed and ran his lips over Cas’s and rubbed their noses together, “You’re right,” he leaned closer to run his lips over Cas’s neck, “I know you’re gunna look great in your wedding outfit, but I also know you’ll look much better with it off-”

“Okay!” Charlie grabbed Cas by the back of the shirt and gave a soft tug, “Time to go, Sam and I don't wanna hear this!”

The two of them laughed and Dean pulled back from Cas’s neck, “I’ll see you tomorrow, be safe and have fun.”

“You too.”

“I love you, Cas,” Dean closed the gap to place a lingering sweet kiss on Cas’s lips.

“I love you too, Dean,” and before they could manage much more Cas was being pulled towards his car by Charlie, the two waving to Sam and Dean as they drove down the street.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The two boys came stomping into the house a little louder than usual that night. Sam had taken them to a few different bars, they laughed and talked about all the good times they had together, and how their lives had gotten even better with Cas now in them.

After a fun night out with his brother, Dean was definitely ready to crash, then tomorrow was the big day. The day he would marry the love of his life and become the happiest man alive.

Sam kicked off his shoes and grabbed Dean’s shoulder with a smile, “My last night in this house and your last night as an unmarried man, look at us moving up in the world.”

“I can’t believe I’m getting married tomorrow,” Dean ran a hand down his face and shook his head, “never thought I would have someone like Cas.”

“You two deserve it,” Sam gave Dean’s shoulder a small shake, then yawned as he said, “I’m heading to bed, I’ll see you in the morning. Oh, and you might wanna grab a water before bed, or a snack. You know, something from the fridge.”

Dean looked at Sam in confusion but he merely winked and took the stairs to his room two at a time. Dean turned into the kitchen, still confused but certain something was up, and took cautious steps towards the fridge. He was about to slowly pull it open, ready for anything, when a shimmering silver envelope caught his eye on the fridge door. On the front, in all to familiar handwriting, was one simple word, “Dean”.

He pulled it out and unfolded the paper inside and read it to himself with a smile.

“Dean,

I know that as tradition states we cannot see each other until the day of the wedding, but I wanted to share my thoughts with you before then.

I know that as I am, you are probably nervous too. Not nervous in a bad way, but more so filled with anticipation. I cannot wait to marry you tomorrow Dean, to walk down the aisle and with your hand in mine, say I do and become Castiel Winchester, finally.

I cannot wait to see what life will hold for us, but no matter how good or bad it may be, I will always be happy knowing that you will be by my side no matter what. That together we will get through any obstacle that may come our way.

I never in my life thought I would be here, the day before my wedding, ready to marry the man of my dreams, the love of my life. And when I saw you on our first day of work, two years ago all done up in your prince costume with that big goofy smile on your face, I knew no one else would ever compare to you. And somehow I was lucky enough to be able to call you mine, and tomorrow I will finally be able to call you my husband.

Tonight is a night of fun for both of us before tomorrow, but know that the only thing I will be thinking of is you. You are my world, Dean, and will be for the rest of time.

Sweet dreams, my love, and I will be counting down the minutes until I can walk down that aisle and have you in my arms again.

Love always,

Your future, Mr. Castiel Winchester.”

Dean couldn't help it if a few tears managed to escape him, but Cas always did have a way of saying it all for the both of them. And in that moment Dean was thankful for everything that had brought him to Cas, hell even that bitch who rejected him for the first interview, for if not for that he would never have met Cas. He would have never been his prince and they would never have fallen in love.

After a few moments and a second read of the letter, Dean folded it up and held it close to his heart as he made his way towards the stairs. As he began the climb he looked up to see Sammy standing at the top, leaning on the railing with a soft smile on his face. Dean smiled back and held the letter closer to his chest as Sam gave a nod and disappeared into his room.

Dean followed suit, heading for his own room. He placed the letter on the nightstand on his side of the bed and laid down. The bed was cold and extremely empty without Cas by his side, but he went to sleep with Cas’s loving words on his mind and the thought of just one more night.

~~~~~~~~~~~

The day had finally arrived.

Dean found himself pacing in the dressing room where it had all began two years ago, as Sam watched him with a smirk from across the room. He was nervous. He wanted everything to be perfect for Cas. This was literally a fairy tale wedding, and not only that, but since they had become such a monumental part of the park, Cas and Dean had jumped at the thought when Ellen asked if it could be televised. They were more than thrilled to extend their reach beyond the park and continue to be the amazing role models they had become. So, Dean was a little nervous.

“Dude,” Sam chuckled, “it's gunna be fine, relax.”

“I just want this to be perfect, Sammy, Cas deserves perfect.”

“And I’m sure that’s exactly what he’ll get.” Sam pushed off from the wall where he was leaning and walked over to Dean, the cape of his own customized prince outfit flowing as he did. “You and Cas have both worked so hard on making this wedding everything that you’ve both ever dreamed of, and Ellen and Bobby have done an amazing job with the park side of things. But no matter what, as long as you’re standing at the end of the aisle when Cas steps out of that carriage, that’s all he’s gunna care about. So just breathe, man.”

Dean did as Sam said and let out a slow puff of air, nodding his head. “Yeah, you’re right. All Cas and I need is each other.”

“See,” Sam gave his shoulder a forceful pat causing Dean to smirk, “it's already the perfect day.”

The door to the dressing room opened slightly and Bobby popped his head in, “You boys ready? It's just about time.”

Dean looked to Sam once more before looking back to Bobby and nodding with a new found confidence, “Yeah, we’re ready.”

“Good,” he waved for them to follow him out, “the carriages that will take you boys to the steps of the castle are waiting out back. There’s quite a large crowd, so be prepared.”

They walked out to the back doors and Bobby took Dean to the horse drawn carriage at the front of the line and opened the door for him to get in. “The carriage will take you through the streets to the bottom of the stairs. When you get there, someone will open the door for you and all you have to do is walk to the top of the stairs and wait there. Sam and Charlie will follow, along with the ring bearer and flower girl, and Cas will come out last. And from there it's all a piece of cake.”

Dean felt like he was in a whirlwind but nodded anyways, trusting his uncle had it all under control.

Sam gave Dean one last thumbs up as Bobby closed the door, and watched as Sam was then ushered to the next carriage and Dean was taken away.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Bobby wasn’t kidding when he said there was a huge crowd. Dean looked out the window of the carriage as he was taken through the streets of the park and he was surrounded by a sea of people, all who came to witness the wedding of himself and Cas. It made him slightly more nervous but it also made him swell with pride to know that he and Cas had made such an impact on so many people over the last few years.

Eventually the carriage came to a stop at the base of the stairs and a young boy dressed in emerald green clothes, stepped forwards to open the door. Dean stepped out as the crowd cheered and waved. The cameras placed all around the castle steps were all pointed at him, and he smiled and waved back as he began to climb the steps towards Ellen who was waiting for him at the top.

When he finally reached her she took both his hands and pulled him in for a long hug, placing a kiss on his cheek before she pulled back, “My, don't you look handsome.”

“Thanks,” he blushed, moving to take a step back to the side.

“Nervous?”

Dean smiled, “I was, but Sammy sort of cleared that all up for me. As long as Cas is here with me, I don't care what happens, I’ll be happy.”

She leaned over and gave him another kiss on the cheek and smiled brightly at him, “I love you boys, all of you.”

“We love you too, Ellen.”

The crowd began to cheer again, bringing their attention back to the bottom of the stairs where another carriage was slowly pulling up.

Ellen stood back in her place at the end of the aisle, and winked to Dean as she whispered, “Here we go,” and Dean let out one last calming breath, turning to watch in anticipation for the love of his life.

As the carriage came to a stop, the young boy who opened Dean’s door moved to open this one, and Sam stepped out. He was all smiles and just as handsome as Dean in his ruby red prince outfit. And Sam, the natural he was, gave the crowd a small wave before he turned back to hold a hand inside the carriage to help Charlie out.

She looked beautiful in a dress to match Sam’s ruby red, and arm in arm the two walked up the steps together to join Dean at the top. The day before the wedding the two had been officially appointed Prince Samuel and Lady Charlotte, both thrilled to be a part of this amazing journey.

When the two reached the top and went to stand on their respective sides, a third carriage pulled up and Dean couldn't help but smile as wide as he could as their ring bearer and flower girl were lifted out of the carriage. Dean waved down at the little boy who waved back with enthusiasm. The young Andrew walked up the steps, holding the hand of his almost three year old little sister. Both of which had joined Sam and Charlie in the ceremony the day before and been named Prince Andrew and Princess Anna.

When the two young ones had reached the top and were standing to the side with their mom, horns went off and everyone who was seated stood as the last carriage pulled up, and Dean attempted to shake his anticipation out as the door was slowly opened.

Dean had never seen a sight more beautiful in his life as Cas stepped out of the carriage. He was dressed in a pure white outfit with black accents, his hair in that slightly mussed way Dean liked it, and his blue eyes fixed on only one thing. Dean.

Dean made to move towards Cas, but Sam’s hand came out to catch him and keep him still as Cas began the climb to the top.

It felt like a lifetime to both of them before he was finally standing face to face with Dean, finally holding his hands in his, and both ready to take this step together.

Cas moved to stand on the other side of Ellen, hands still tightly held in Dean’s, and he leaned over to whisper, “Ready?”

Dean smiled at Cas, lifting his hands to his lips to place two kisses on them before whispering back, “Definitely,” as Ellen started talking.

“Well,” she began with a smile, barely able to contain her joy, “today is a wondrous day as we all gather to witness the marriage of Prince Dean Winchester, and Prince Castiel Novak. Now, before we get to the good stuff, you boys have written your own vows. Dean, you first.”

Dean shifted on his feet, turning his gaze away from Ellen and back to Cas, taking a breath before he spoke, “Cas, I never thought I would ever be standing here, across from the love of my life, ready to say I do. And to be honest, when I first met you two years ago, I never would have thought it would be you that I would be standing with.” Cas chuckled at the memory. “When I asked you to marry me, under the Magic Kingdom Bridge, I thought I could never be happier than I was when you said yes, but I was wrong. When I hear you say I do today, and I get to take you in my arms as my husband, I will be the happiest man alive. And from here on out, it's you and me. I will always be here for you no matter what, I will always love you, and you will always be my world. I love you, Cas.”

Cas gave Dean’s hands a squeeze in his as Ellen turned to him and said, “Castiel, you’re turn.

“Dean, when we first met I fell in love with you instantly, and I knew I would never be able to fall for anyone else after laying eyes on you.” Dean smiled and looked down, a slight blush covering his cheeks. “But I was worried that I would never be able to get the courage up to talk to you, or tell you how I felt, but you managed to bring out a side of me that I never even knew existed. With you by my side I have become a stronger, more confident and capable man, and that is all thanks to your endless amounts of love. I could not ask for a better husband then I know you will be, and I will forever be thankful that I was somehow lucky enough to cross paths with you. I love you so much Dean, and I always will.”

Everyone around them, themselves included, took a moment to wipe away a few stray tears before Ellen cleared her throat and managed to croak out, “Alright, time for the rings now boys. Come on over Prince Andrew.”

Little Andrew hopped over carrying a small white pillow, and on top were two matching golden bands. He stood between Cas and Dean and held the pillow up towards them, and both leaned down with a smile at Andrew as they took the rings, and the boy returned to his mom.

Both boys turned back to one another, Dean looking Cas straight in the eye as he took his left hand in his own and slipped the band onto his finger, and with a smile as bright as the sun he said, “With this ring, Cas, I thee wed.”

“Dean,” Cas returned his beaming smile and took Dean’s left hand in his, “with this ring, I thee wed, finally.”

“Well, boys,” Ellen took a step forward and placed a hand on their shoulders, looking between them, “it is my honour to announce you husbands as Dean and Castiel Winchester. Prince Dean, you may kiss Prince Castiel.”

Without a moment's hesitation Dean practically leapt forwards, taking Cas’s face in his hands, and pulling him in for a long sweet kiss. The crowd and their friends around them cheered and clapped, but the two boys were only focused on each other, everything else around them was a mere blurr in their happiness together in that moment.

As they pulled apart the horns went off again, confetti was suddenly flying through the air around them, and Ellen was ushering them down the stairs. Hand in hand they turned and made their way down the steps, halfway down Dean swooped his arms down and carried Cas the rest of the way, right to the carriage that was waiting for them at the bottom.

With one last wave, Dean opened the door and helped Cas into the carriage and then jumped in beside him. The most nerve wracking part of the day was over. They had finally married each other, in front of their friends and family, and everyone at the park, and now they were off to the smaller and more intimate reception they had planned for themselves. Just a small room in one of the parks banquet halls were they could celebrate the night and their marriage with their close friends and family. Where they could eat, drink, and dance the night away before Dean swept Cas off for their long awaited honeymoon.

And as the carriage pulled away and began taking them back through the streets of the Magic Kingdom, they locked eyes and both couldn't help but think that they had never been happier. And neither could wait to finally start their journeys together as husbands, as Dean and Castiel Winchester.

Dean took Cas’s hand in his and placed his other hand on Cas’s cheek and whispered softly, “I love you, Cas, so much.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

And just as Sam and Charlie made it down the steps to get into their waiting carriage, they looked through the back window of Dean and Cas’s carriage in front of them, just in time to see the two lean into each other and melt into the most breathtaking kiss either of them had ever seen. The two remained locked in each others embrace until the carriage had taken them out of sight, and Sam couldn't help but smile and watch them go as he thought to himself, finally.

End

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N:

Well, that's it guys! All though..... I did have an interesting request that I rewrite the story, but this time make it from the perspective of Cas instead of Dean, and I am super intrigued by the idea and might possibly (more then likely will) do just that!

But thank you all again for sticking around, I would absolutely LOVE to hear what you think of our boys happy ending!! And don't forget to check out my other destiel fics (smut and fluff promised and delivered lol) I love you all <3<3<3

Tags: @kitsunecastiel @florenciareiser @soulmatchortega @sugarbae128 @deeutdutdutdoh @willastar23 @quillsandink-writes @theninthdutchessofhell @bbotts9797 @supernaturalbaesduh @deanwithhisimpala @deanssidechick @mishka-the-angel-of-saturday @thekingofgreenapples @say-it-aint-so-bro @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @markpellegrincs @pooffa @all-time-fall-out-panic-pilots @myessenceconsistsofdeadmemes @petertingle3000 @ractna @but-for-the-gods-three-days @thefourthheadofcerberus

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spnfanficpond · 4 years

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November 2019 Pond LiveChat Recap

We had a great time chatting with @tricia-16, today! Thank you so much for joining us and giving us your thoughts!

We had a great time today chatting about keeping characters true to what we’re used to seeing on screen, even when we’re writing them into an AU. How do you decide what traits are sacred and what you can or should change when you take our beloved boys out of the hunting life and into other worlds? A rundown of the chat, as well as general Pond new, is below the cut!

For those who don’t know her, Tricia is not (yet - I’m gonna work on her!) a member of the Pond, but she is a popular Destiel writer on AO3, and a force for good in the fandom on Twitter. Most of her stories are AUs, with a couple of canon stories, so she has experience in both types. Her current WIP is called Light Me Up, and it’s based around Dean and Cas discovering that Lisa had a child after a fateful night with the two of them. Lisa has recently passed, and gave joint custody of her son, Liam, to Dean and Cas together. The prequel, Why’s It Feel So Good? is simply hot, Hot, HOT, and shouldn’t be skipped! She updates every Monday, which helps to fight off the Garfield in all of us and make Mondays something to look forward to.

We started off talking about side characters.

Q: (@loudenswainfangirl (Michelle H.) How do you create that AU version when you don't have a lot of canon content to draw from? For instance, Donna. Canon gives us some in sight to her character but there is also a lot we don’t know. I've been working on a fic with Donna as the main and I'm having a difficult time putting my own interpretation on her. Inner thoughts, hang ups, struggles, that sort of thing.

Tricia: Michelle, I have no idea how you do that with the side characters who don't have a lot to go on. I think that's why in my stories they tend to focus more completely on Cas/Dean than the surrounding characters. I think in a lot of cases they end up more like an original character with a familiar character's face, in my head. If you're talking AU, I'd create almost an entire new character with Donna's personality. Write down how she grew up, her likes/dislikes, her personality flaws and strengths. You'll get an idea of who she is, which should help influence her dialogue and motivations behind why she acts how she does within the story.

Q: Have you gotten any backlash for side characters not sounding right or being OOC?

Tricia: I don't think many people read my stories for the side characters, so I haven't gotten a ton of feedback on them. I know people didn't like Charlie's big mouth in Start of Something Good, but I think she'd be super forward like that to try to help Dean so it didn't bother me.

Q: Which do you find easier, AU or canon?

Tricia: AU, without a doubt. And it's for the simple reason that I think there's more wiggle room when it comes to keeping them in character that way. While a lot of the big character traits will remain the same, there's wiggle room to change some things up depending on the world I create. A big one is family life. If Dean grew up with both parents in a loving home, I find it easy to believe he wouldn't be quite as emotionally unavailable as he is on the show, for example. @katehuntington (Kate): I get that, I can relate to that. I find both comfortable, but with AU’s I feel like I need to establish where I wanna go first, and then think how Dean (for instance) would get there and how it would affect him. AUs also create situation that wouldn’t be possible in canon, like certain side characters interacting with each other. That’s what I like about it. Michelle H.: That's what I love about AU, Tricia. Creating a different background opens up so many possibilities. An AU is, essentially, your world. I feel more people will be more critical and have higher expectations with canon based fic.

Q: What do you do when you're afraid you've maybe taken a character too far outside of their usual character?

Kate: Say their lines out loud if it’s dialogue, checking if I can hear that character say that. And it depends on the background. I’m honestly not worried that often. Guess with two or three betas on board who would tell me if it’s OOC, you build that kind of confidence. So what was said earlier: if Sam or Dean for instance grew up in a stable environment, they would respond differently than they would canon. @mrswhozeewhatsis (Mrs. Michelle): Betas help a LOT. Talking it out with other fans is HUGE, sometimes. (If you’re looking for a beta, check out this list of betas here!) Kate: Going over scenarios with people who know your story, your style, etc, is really helpful! Michelle H: You think so? Because that's what I want to do and have so far but I'm afraid of backlash. Mrs. Michelle: Never be afraid of backlash. If someone else doesn't like your interpretation, they don't have to read it. And if they're rude enough to comment, they're just RUDE. Michelle H: Good point. I guess because I write rare pairs I have so little exposure and I'm afraid to chase away those I do have. Tricia: If you can explain WHY your character is the way that she is (even within the story or outside of it in comments, etc) you shouldn't face much backlash. They might not like the choices you make, but that's on them, not you.

Q: What are the easiest and hardest parts of staying true to SPN characters when writing AUs for you?

Tricia: Easiest is the big things. Dean loves pie, drives his car, loves rock music. Sam's a nerd, Cas doesn't know much about pop culture/doesn't get a lot of jokes. Those are the things I feel should stay the same in any universe. (Imagine a world where Dean doesn't like his car? WHO IS HE?) Hardest is getting Dean to talk about his feelings. We know him to be closed off and anti-emotion, so to make him open up enough to fall in love while still remaining in character is always a struggle. That's why so many of my fics are from Dean's POV. Without access to his inner thoughts, he'd come across completely different than he does with them. Kate: Easiest parts for me is taking there personality traits, analyse where they come from and if you can, use those traits in favor of your story. Hardest part for me is when you wanna make certain changes for the sake of the AU, but feel like it’s not in character. That’s the hiccup I experience most. For instance (for the people who know Ride With Me) Dean on the show can’t really play guitar and his singing isn’t great either. For my country boy/cowboy AU, I added that, even though it’s not of significant importance to the story line. It just felt good. I go on gut feeling a lot personally.

Q: What changes to their character might you first consider when you're coming up with a new story line? Are there any traits that you immediately considering changing without question, and conversely, are there any traits that are sacred? For example, you've already discussed how Dean is different when he's had a stable family. Is that a common starting point for you, or does it depend on the story?

Tricia: This might seem like an obvious answer, but Dean and Cas's sexuality is always a big one. Do they know they're attracted to men when they meet? Are they purely attracted to men, bi, do they think they're straight? Dean "getting around" sexually is almost always part of my stories. I can't imagine a prude-ish version of Dean. Kate: For me Dean’s self worth (or the lack of it) and his kindness for the people who need it, are traits that I won’t ever let go of.

Q: Besides pie and Baby, are there any other traits of Dean and Cas that you feel are sacred and shouldn't be touched?

Tricia: Dean's fierce protectiveness of Sam is the first thing that comes to mind. I think I tend to write Cas as seeing Dean as almost... perfect. He refuses to give up on him, forgives him even when he shouldn't, and that's all based on who he is on the show, too.

Q: Has there ever been a story line or story element that you've loved, but ultimately decided to ditch because it was too OOC, even for an AU?

Tricia: When I wrote Molting Expectations, there's a scene where Cas was basically going into "angel heat" and I actually wrote Dean giving into temptation and something physical happening between them when Cas clearly didn't know what he was asking for. And once I wrote it, I read it over, and immediately went, "Nope. Dean's stronger than that." And I ditched the whole scene.

Q: On those occasions where you wrote in canon, you obviously have to be more strict about changing things. How do you decide what's sacred and what can be shifted? Basically, what’s your barometer for “I’ve gone too far this time”?

Tricia: I think for me, it comes down to my interpretation of the characters. Some die hard fans would tell you that Dean is 100% straight and nothing can convince them otherwise. I believe there are moments of episodes that imply he's not 100% straight, so I feel justified in making that more explicit in my stories. Dean admitting he likes chick flicks makes me think maybe he's a bit softer inside than he wants to present a lot of the time, so I can almost exploit that about him in canon fic, for example. But more than anything, I think, it's the dialogue that I struggle with in canon fic, and after reading it back, it's a gut feeling. There's a lot of tweaking individual words, changing the way I make my characters talk to the way Dean/Cas actually talk. I do that by looking at transcripts of episodes. That's actually how I wrote Donna's dialogue in Light Me Up, even though it isn't canon, because I haven't written her character very much. I looked at the words she repeats in all of the episodes she's in to get a sense for how she spoke. I wrote a big love confession from Dean during Don't, and then scrapped it all because I couldn't see him actually saying that out loud. (And it frustrated me because it was SO GOOD and all things Dean was thinking, but I knew in my gut they were words he'd never say out loud.) Mrs. Michelle: I've noticed that the characters in this show we love really don't talk much. Any time I've written a long paragraph of one of TFW talking, I've always cut it down to a third of it. They rarely make speeches. @girl-with-a-fandom-fettish (Kaisha): Those are Winchesters for you, as few words as possible! Tricia: They also use each other's names 100 times more than regular people in regular conversation! LOL Kate: I go on gut when it comes to taking a character too far. And also remember that it’s your story. If you believe that Dean or Sam would respond a certain way under these circumstances, then write it.

Q: Dean and smoking: In character or not? And why or why not?

Tricia: Smoking seems self-destructive enough (with the benefit of soothing nerves, or so I've heard) that I could see Dean smoking. The only reason I can think of why in canon it wouldn't be in character is because of the cost. Especially when the Winchesters didn't have the bunker, would Dean always have the money to buy a pack of smokes? I would guess probably not. Michelle H: I would think he'd rather use the funds for whiskey. Mrs. Michelle: I could see Dean stealing smokes. Like, back in the olden days when they weren’t kept locked up. Of course, the first time he got winded, and therefore injured by a monster, he might decide to quit.

To wrap up, we all kind of agreed that when we’re questioning if a character is OOC or not, we try to imagine the character in canon doing or saying what we’ve written and we go with our gut. If we’re still unsure, we ask friends and beta readers for help. As always, Betas make everything betta!!

Next month we’re going to talk about structuring long plots with @jhoomwrites on 12/7/19 at 5PM Eastern time! Mark your calendars!

General Pond Updates and Reminders

What we’ve got cooking up next: Not much, at the moment, since everyone is busy, so we’re just trying to keep up with the day-to-day at the moment! Our to do list is still long, though, and will not be neglected forever! Next up is organizing the tagging system on the blog to make it easier for readers to find the stories they’re interesting in and for writers to find the help they’re looking for!

Reminders:

Angel Fish Award nominations are accepted all month long! No need to wait to tell us how much you liked a fellow Fish’s work! IF YOU HAVE SENT IN A NOMINATION, BUT HAVE NOT RECEIVED A PRIVATE MESSAGE CONFIRMING WE RECEIVED IT, WE DIDN’T GET IT. Be sure to use Submit instead of Ask!

Don’t forget to submit your stories to be posted to the blog! When your stories are on the blog, then they are easier to nominate for Angel Fish Awards!

Say hi to October’s New Members! (If we missed someone, let us know!)

Check the Pond CALENDAR to see when Big Fish will be in the Skype chat room/discord general channel and other Pond and SPN events are happening! Know of something that’s not on the calendar, send us an ask or submission with the deets info details! The calendar offers a lot of features, such as showing you when things are in your own timezone! Since we’re an international group, that’s a definite plus!!

We’re looking for a guest speaker for January to talk about RPF! If you know of an RPF writer that you’d like to hear from, let us know!!

#spnfanficpond livechat #chat recap #chat room #let's chat #THE CHAT ROOM #pond chat #character development #Characterization

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honey-bri-books · 4 years

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Afraid of the Dark: SamCasDean

Un-related to any specific point in the series, but presumed to have happened after Cas and Dean have known each other a considerable length of time. SPN/Destiel fan fic. Fluff.

Characters created by Eric Kripke.

****

The Winchesters pull up in the Impala, just outside of an abandoned theater, which is now run-down and barely standing up in its decrepit state. Both Dean and Sam get out of the car and look up at the marquis, skeptically. Several letters are randomly stuck in a corner making up a mesh of black curves and criss-crosses, but just off-center and spelled out by the locals as a lame prank for the non-existent business owners read the “Movie Title” Are You Afraid of the Dark without the question mark, at the end. Dean makes a face.

DEAN: Didn’t know there was a movie that actually made it to the theater. I thought they just did a TV special thing...I remember seeing a commercial for it. You would’ve loved it, Sammy. Clowns and everything!

SAM: I don’t think they ever released a movie or that it played here, Dean. Probably some kids just joking around. Would’ve been smarter if they had thought to put up a warning that the place is haunted.

DEAN: And that the only way out is in a body bag, if you’re dumb enough to go inside...

SAM: Let’s be hopeful. No one’s reported any bodies turning up.

DEAN: Not yet, you mean.

Sam and Dean had been bombarded with messages that morning from other hunters and friends who were “in-the-know” that several disappearances had taken place within the past few months, since the closing of a local theater building, which had struggled to bring in an audience. The owners had just packed up and left, not leaving a note for anyone interested in taking up the building and re-vamping the theater for themselves. No one had even bothered to schedule a demolition of the premises, to open up a new mall or grocery store or apartment complex. It was left to collect dust and debris and according to recent rumors, kids from the local high-school and community college.

Amy, a friend of the Winchesters from a previous case, had claimed she was out for a run when she saw a few kids sneaking in, one of them wearing his boyfriend’s letter-head jacket. She wasn’t in the mood to go in after them and just continued on home, forgetting about them until noticing an article with their pictures highlighted. It read with the heading LOST in giant letters heading the article, and said they hadn’t shown up to school for several days, and that two of them were honor students and very reliable and responsible people. Amy had remembered that it was so cold outside when she was by the theater that she could see her own breath. Combined with so many cases being reported of missing people, all teenagers or young adults, Amy got a gut feeling and called Dean just as Sam was looking up the same story on his laptop.

Now, Dean and Sam open up the trunk of the impala and start to fill their guns with rock salt. Sam picks up a third. The most popular theory among the remaining hunters in the district, was that anyone who entered the building died and that their spirits remained to haunt the building, in the form of ghosts.

SAM: Do you think Cas will need one?

DEAN: I think he keeps one in the truck. Load that one anyway, just in case. Castiel arrives right at that moment, pulling up next to the impala. He gets out of the driver’s side and moves towards the Winchesters, wielding his own weapon, as Dean predicted. Thanks for coming. Usually, you’re too busy to even answer your phone. Castiel starts to protest but Dean slams the trunk down, nearly knocking Sam in the head, and cutting Castiel off.

SAM: Hey!! Careful! Then shaking his head, Please don’t tell me you two are still....

CASTIEL: [Tartly] Have either of you been inside of the building, yet? He sounds defeated and uncaring. He looks at Sam, a bit desperately. Sam just sighs, still upset from the night Castiel left the bunker. He had been in his room trying to read when he heard Dean yelling from the kitchen..

******

DEAN: Never mind about me, it’s YOU who we should be worrying about right now. Why can’t you ever look after yourself, for once!?!? For all of his concern, Sam didn't like the way Dean attempted to get through to Cas about his grace failing him, again. They had come back from a hunt that morning, Dean bleeding and battered, and Dean refused Castiel’s help. He argued that his injuries were minor, and would ignore Cas or walk away to avoid Castiel having to use his powers in order to heal him. Both he and Sam were afraid that if Castiel used them unnecessarily, that it would only be a matter of time before he lay dying before them both.

Their concern was well-founded. But finally, Castiel had had enough. Sam was walking down the hall with an armful of books, when Cas stormed past him and went up to Dean’s bedroom door. Sam didn’t have time to react when Castiel crashed into Dean’s room and crawled on top of him, on his bed. Sam ran to the door to see Dean struggling (pathetically) while Castiel put a hand to Dean’s forehead. With visible effort and strain, Castiel eyes began to glow, and light seemed to fill the room, as Castiel succeeded in healing Dean of his injuries...before passing out on top of him. When Castiel finally woke up, Dean let out a huge sigh of relief. He asked Castiel if he was alright...and then gave him the silent treatment for a week, before finally confronting him in the kitchen.

DEAN: It’s like you don’t even care if you die right in front of me. What were you thinking?!?! What kind of a person could ever do that to someone he cared about?! How would you feel if I cut myself up and bled to death, in order to save you?! Would you want that for me?! Dean had been on the verge of tears. Sam could hear his voice getting hoarse..

CASTIEL: [weakly] Dean, please....I didn’t have a choice...

DEAN: One day you’re gonna have to make a choice, and it’s gonna be the right one, next time. You should have let me die! In fact...you know what....I’m finally done! You don’t wanna give a damn about yourself, then that means I don’t have to either.

CASTIEL: I’m sorry. I wish...Dean, I couldn’t stand to see you hurt like that and not be able to do anything. I wouldn’t ever ...It...I’m not...I...

DEAN: Whatever, just get out. All the time I’ve wasted, wondering if you’re gonna get yourself killed...There’s only so much I can take. You feel like helping out with a case or two, I’ll give you a call, but until then...Good luck to you!

The next morning Sam had gone into Castiel’s room hoping to mediate the situation, but by that time, Castiel was gone.

******

Now, Sam could recognize the same tension between his brother and his friend as they faced each other for the first time in several weeks. Castiel appeared as if he were struggling to just stay standing. Dean can’t help but show concern on his face, looking Cas up and down.

SAM: Cas, are you sure you’re up to this? Are you, I mean...are you getting any better? Dean presses his lips together, not trusting himself to say anything. Castiel still avoids Dean’s gaze and tries to hide the fact that he’s swaying slightly.

CASTIEL: I’m fine. What do you need me to do?

Sam and Dean look at each other, and then they all look at the theater together. Castiel takes a step forward. He furrows his brows and tilts his head slightly.

CASTIEL: Dean, there are people in there.. Sam and Dean look at each other, confused.

DEAN: What do you mean? All of their last fight forgotten, Dean now feels hopeful. The missing teens had never been declared dead. They could still be alive...Castiel shakes his head.

CASTIEL: I’m not sure, but.... I sense we’re not the only living ones in the vicinity. That we’re not alone.. Without saying anything else, Castiel heads towards the theater. Sam and Dean follow after him and they all enter the building together.

Once inside the lobby, the three are enveloped in darkness, save for a glimmer of light coming from the front doors. The three decide to split up and each take a different level of the theater to explore.

*****

Sam finds himself in the basement. He can hear something leaking nearby and hopes to himself that it’s only water. With the little light from his flash light, Sam feels along the walls as he stumbles down the basement stairs. There are extra theater seats and old show posters underneath an old tarp. He thinks he’s alone when he hears someone sneeze behind him. Sam jumps and turns around to see eight different sets of eyes staring back at him. The missing teens are wearing the outfits they disappeared in, now dirty and torn, and with dirt and sweat covering their faces. Some hide behind their friends, not knowing who Sam is. Though pale and hollow-eyed Sam breathes a sigh of relief...They’re alive!

SAM: Hey! It’s okay, I’m here to help...Some of the kids start to relax, and then one of them starts to scream. Sam turns around to see an old man with a gun aimed at him. The girl who screamed starts crying and before Sam can even blink, a woman appears from behind the group of kids and grabs the girl by the hair, dragging her back against her with one hand, a butcher knife in the other....

*****

Castiel made his way down the aisle of the theater and to the stage. He had to use a flashlight now, since he had weakened considerably over the past several months.

Sam and Dean had expressed their concern for his failing grace on many occasions, and Castiel had always lied by saying he was ignorant of the cause. The truth was that an angel’s grace could be manipulated in its strength from Heaven’s Headquarters.

Awhile ago, a group of angels had threatened Castiel, ordering him to stop aiding the Winchesters and to ignore their calls for help. When Castiel refused, they had warned Castiel that his life was on the line and he would eventually drain of his grace and then finally die, if he didn’t change his ways. Castiel had of course ignored the threats, continuing to work and then live with the Winchesters at the bunker, before Dean ordered him to leave...

As Castiel crawls up onto the stage he struggles to make out the wings and the backdrop depicting a forest scene for whatever production last closed at the theater. There is a star drop, as well. Castiel doesn’t notice anything unusual. Just a lot of left over props and lights piled up back stage and old programs, covered in dust. He moves backstage and sees a door that must lead to the dressing rooms. Upon opening it, he finds himself in a darkened hallway. After walking down it for a few minutes Castiel stops. What was that noise? His flashlight had stopped working, so he left it back on the stage. He can’t see anything, but he knows he heard someone curse to his left. Suddenly, there is a sharp noise, like a door is slamming shut. Whatever made the sound, it was close. Without seeing it, Castiel turns and reaches out until he makes contact with a door handle.

Not thinking of the consequences, Castiel turns the handle and enters into the room. A pair of hands lock onto his arms and pulls him inside the room, slamming him against the wall. Castiel drops his gun...

******

Dean directs his flash light back and forth, unimpressed with the lack of bodies, the lack of clues, the lack of anything in this nothing hallway. Just a lot of dust and dark. There are several closed doors, but all of them have been locked up to now. Dean trudges on to the end of the hallway, figuring it wouldn’t hurt to try the last door, and is surprised when it actually opens for him. Yeah right, he thinks. Dean walks inside, out of habit, not really expecting anything interesting....

DEAN: What the hell? The closet is full of weapons. Dean at first thinks that they are props used for the theater, but then gets closer and realizes it’s all real. Guns, machetes, pitch forks, a hatchet, and even rat poison! He sets down his own gun full of rock salt and reaches towards one of the machetes when his light flickers out. Dean curses and backs into the door, slamming it shut and dropping his flash light. He fumbles around on the ground looking for it.. I can’t see anything, it’s so damn dark!

All of a sudden, the door opens. Someone is directly behind Dean, standing above him. Dean reacts quickly, springing to his feet and turning to grab the dark figure by his arms, pulling him into the closet and slamming him against the wall. The person’s breathing is heavy and Dean realizes that he’s pressing himself up against his assailant, who struggles for a moment before stilling, his breath catching in his throat.

Then Dean realizes that he’s not threatened by his attacker, that he doesn't feel as if he’s in danger. The body in front of him is familiar, and...Dean leans his head forward against the other’s and the person pressed against the wall submits, pushing back slightly. Dean’s breathing becomes heavy as his grip tightens on Castiel who tilts his head back, so that Dean can feel the stubble on his chin brush against his lips.

Dean is afraid to say anything. He doesn’t know what he’s thinking, right now. He lowers his mouth onto Castiel’s neck and traces kisses along it. When Castiel lets out a soft cry, Dean takes his face in his hands and kisses him roughly on the mouth. Castiel brings his hands up to Dean’s face and presses his body against him, as the lights to the closet and the hallway turn on. Neither hear Sam calling out to them from the hallway, or notice the sudden burst of light, at first...Their eyes are closed, and their lips are desperate for each other... Sam finds them in a closet full of weapons, in each other’s arms, crumpled in a heap on floor. Dean covering Castiel with kisses as Cas whimpers out “Sorry,..I’m...sorry...:”

*****

The old theater owners, Dale and Margaret Blanche, sit cuffed in the back seat of a police car. Once Old Lady Blanche had attempted to silence the crying girl, Dale had lowered his gun, letting his guard down and thinking they were in control. Sam kicked upwards into Dale’s nuts and retrieved his gun when he dropped it, howling in pain. Margaret had been distracted and another of the teen captives leapt at her ankle, biting as hard as he could. Margaret screamed and let the girl and the butcher knife go.

The other kids leapt into action and helped Sam to overcome and defeat the couple of criminals, weak as they were from being denied adequate food and sleeping quarters. By Sam’s orders, they helped find rope. Some helped in tying their captors up and dragging them both upstairs. Sam gave one of the hostages his cell phone to call the police, while he looked for a way to turn on the lights. Apparently, there was nothing wrong with the lights or the electicity, though they had been turned off since the theater’s closing. When Sam tried turning them all on, he had little to no problem. Apparently, the town had cared so little about the theater at that point, that no one had bothered to cut off electricity through to the building. The Blanches had just not wanted to let on that anyone was living there, and kept them off at all times.

When the theater closed, all had assumed that the couple had left the place for dead, but in fact they had both stayed hidden in the old theater, and lived off of killing cats, rats and all of the above, determined to stay. A nearby pond, spare candles, and other necessities had done the couple fine for resources...until local kids had spread a rumor that the building was haunted and had set off in pairs and groups to explore the place.

Finally, the couple decided to get back at everyone for ignoring their establishment in the first place, by kidnapping and torturing anyone who trespassed, taking away the town’s children in revenge for running their business to the ground. They had stored a closet full of weapons to use as a means to torture their victims and kept rat poison to permanently silence the ones who made too much of a racket.

Now, the surviving kids were split up among sobbing parents, paramedics and police officers, in front of the theater. One boy pulled Sam aside to thank him, for reminding them all of how capable they had always been in getting themselves out of their captors hands, and waking them from their stupor. He said he felt it had been in him to stand up for himself all the while, he just needed to see that if could be done and Sam making the first move is what made it happen.

******

Dean and Castiel sat on a nearby bench, watching the rescue take place. They hadn't said a word (and neither had Sam, thankfully) about what happened back in the closet, all night, though many hours had passed since then. Dean’s face is an unfeeling mask, and Cas is almost afraid to breath. Nothing had to be said to determine Castiel was going back to the bunker that night. Dean would ask Sam to drive Castiel’s truck while Cas rode shot gun to Dean in the impala.

Dean had wondered what he’d do when he saw Cas again, after their fight. He’d wondered if Castiel could forgive him for being such an asshole to him when they finally confronted each other in the kitchen. He worried that Castiel was much weaker than he’d let on earlier, and thought he knew for certain that things weren’t getting any better for the angel. And now...everything was so much worse than Dean could have ever imagined.

The darkness had acted as a veil, had tricked Dean into thinking they were safe, that they were completely alone, and maybe they could both feel happiness, pleasure, for just a moment..but something told him that somehow they had failed each other, back in that closet. To have opened his eyes and seen Castiel, trembling underneath him, surrounded by deadly weapons and blinding, accusing light, to see the tears in Castiel’s eyes... If the lights had stayed off until after they’d let go of each other, Dean wouldn’t have had to see it end...It wasn’t meant to last longer than a moment, but somehow...

CASTIEL: [Sadly] Are you afraid of the Dark.. Dean shakes his head from his thoughts, and looks at Castiel, worried. Castiel is looking up at the theater marquis, not really caring about it, but feeling one of them needed to say something to break the ice. Dean has never seen Castiel look so weak as he did at this moment. He fixes the expression on his face, trying to seem nonchalant.

DEAN: You know, there’s a movie I’ve been trying to get Sammy to watch with me. One of those new revivals. This one, I think, it’s from an old Nickelodeon program or whatever. Funny, right? Castiel nods. It hurts Dean to look at Cas when he’s this weak, this afraid. He’s in so much pain. What can I do to take it away? How can I save him?

A tear escapes from Castiel’s eye and Dean’s heart breaks in two. They were never going to talk about it. And Dean knew Castiel would never let him touch him like that, ever again. Dean wants nothing more than to take Castiel into his arms, and to hold him underneath the stars, to just be close to him in the dark..but instead he puts both hands in his pockets and waits for the police to leave, waits for Sam to signal that they should be heading home. Castiel has his hands deep in the pockets of his trench coat. He leans into the back of the bench and turns his head away from Dean, knowing he can’t hold back his tears any longer.

CASTIEL: Dean..forgive me. I keep hurting you. I can’t stop.. He shuts his eyes, ashamed. Back in the theater, I couldn’t help myself, I couldn’t...stop....I.... Biting his lip, Castiel can’t continue.

Dean knows that if he doesn’t get up and walk away, that his lips would find their way to Castiel’s again. He knew that the next time he put his hands on Castiel that he would never let go.

DEAN: I’ll wait in the car. When you’re ready, join me, and we’ll head on home. Sam is going to drive the truck. Then after a moment.. Don’t think that I’m ever letting you go after tonight. And don’t you dare think about using your powers again, until Sam and I can figure out what’s wrong. I won’t hear of it. I’ll trap you in a ring of holy oil before I let you go and get yourself killed. Hate me for the rest of my life. I don’t care. And don’t take too long, I’m beat... Dean ignores the small cry coming from Castiel and stands up, hesitating for a moment, before heading determinedly back towards the impala. Castiel covers his face with his hands, the darkness enveloping him like a never-ending nightmare...

The End...

#Castiel #Dean #CasDean #DeanCas #Sam #Destiel #Supernatural #Fan Fic #Fluff #Slash #SPN #SPN Fan Fiction #Winchester #Sam Winchester #Dean Winchester #Are You Afraid of the Dark #Afraid of the Dark

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nellie-elizabeth · 5 years

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Supernatural: Raising Hell (15x02)

I swear, every time I see Buckleming's names attached to an episode of Supernatural, I try to keep an open mind. I try to believe that they'll pull out a decent episode, which on occasion, they have managed to do. But this one... Gosh. I don't even know where to start.

Cons:

So crowded! Always with the so, so crowded! There are so many things going on in this one episode that it's like I can't even catch my breath. And I do not mean that in a good way. We've got Rowena, we've got Kevin, we've got Ketch, Amara... all of these reappearances should have been really fun to see, but instead they are all so jumbled up and very few of the moments actually have the impact they should.

A main example of this is Kevin. What a lackluster return for such a beloved character! He's there, the boys are glad to see him, he depressingly leaves because apparently he can't get into Heaven since he's been in Hell this whole time. So that's... sad, and pointless. We find out in this episode that all this time, when we thought Kevin was at peace in Heaven, he's actually been in Hell because... Chuck is a dick, I guess? There's no explanation given for why God put Kevin in Hell. And now he's here, he's used as bait, and he decides to leave and wander the earth as a ghost because it's better than going back to Hell. Why would you bring back a fan favorite just to make his ending much sadder?

Also, Ketch and Rowena's sexual tension thing was so uncomfortable. This is part of another big problem I have with Buckleming episodes. Their dialogue is just bad. Not always, not every line, but there are enough awkward, stilted moments to make me cringe. All of the stuff with Rowena and Ketch was like that. There were clumsy exposition moments, and things that should have felt fraught and emotional, like the boys' reunion with Kevin, fell extremely flat. There are exceptions to this, and I'll talk about them in a moment, but for the most part even the stuff in this episode that would have worked, came across as much less than it should have.

And that's just an overall issue with this episode and others like it. So much happens, and as individual pieces, there's a great deal of potential here. But when it's all crammed together, it can't make a whole as strong as its parts.

Pros:

There are exceptions to what I've been saying above. Basically, the only things I can praise about this episode are little snippets, moments in the chaos that cut through the overcrowded and yet still lackluster totality.

Let's start with Chuck and Amara. I love that we're seeing a more human-ish side to Amara, which makes sense if she's been spending time in the human world, playing craps and getting massages in Reno. Chuck is hanging around because he's not at full strength, and Amara, when she realizes that he just needs her because he's hurt, decides to ditch him. It was cool to see her being a bad-ass who isn't about to stick around and take care of little bro. Chuck as a villain works so well, because we can now see every benevolent action he's ever taken over the years as just part of his game. He liked the Winchesters because they were interesting, because they did what he wanted and kept him entertained. Now, for the first time, he's in a weakened position and he truly doesn't have control. It seems clear he wants to write this world off and move on, but he's not at full strength, and Amara is his only hope. I'd love to see more of her, as she might be the solution to the need for an all-powerful being to help our heroes in their fight against God.

We see a brief moment where Sam and Chuck appear to still be linked through their injury. This is leading me to the natural (and devastating) conclusion that Sam will need to die in order to defeat Chuck, the ultimate Big Bad. We'll see if Supernatural decides to go the tragedy route. I really hope they don't, but in any case, I'm up for the angst along the way. We see that Dean is still tracking Sam's injury, and Sam is trying to brush it off as no big deal. Oh, this is going to hurt so good.

While I have many, many problems with the way Rowena was written in this episode, I continue to find the interplay between her and the Winchesters fascinating. These actors do a masterful job of conveying the complexity of their friendship in small moments, even when the script itself does not substantiate the relationship much. Dean and Rowena share a look of understanding and respect as the episode ends. Sam and Dean both seem genuinely grateful to see her, and it's telling in and of itself that she showed up to assist. Her ally-ship with the Winchesters is in some ways a lot more interesting than Crowley's relationship with them was in the later years. She's not still pretending to be their enemy, and yet of course she's not just their buddy with no complicating factors involved.

The same can actually be said for Ketch. So much about the British Men of Letters plot line was botched a few seasons back, but Ketch came out of it as a somewhat interesting relic. I like that he and Dean have this weird yet natural-seeming camaraderie. Dean was willing to shoot him when he was possessed, and Ketch doesn't seem to have hard feelings about that at all. They're just... like that. I could do without the Ketch/Rowena thing, but I wouldn't mind seeing Ketch around once or twice more this season (although, let's be real, it would have been kind of hilarious if Dean had actually killed him).

I'm disappointed in how little we got of Kevin, but it was still lovely to see Osric Chau. It's so cute to think of him having like... street cred in Hell because God himself sent him there. And as sad as his fate is, maybe there's a way to spin it in future episodes? Even if it's just a cameo, they could give Kevin a happier ultimate fate, depending on how this whole show winds up.

I've saved the Destiel of it all for last. See, when you get episodes like this, that are frantically paced and full of characters and action and plot, the moments that work the best are always the ones that slow down and take a beat, allow for the characters to shine and relationship dynamics to be explored. So here, we have Cas' only real scene in the episode - he's mostly just a background character, except for this one key moment, and it's one of the episode's only truly quality scenes. Not just for the fact that it involves Dean and Cas staring at each other while soft music plays in the background, and they have an angst-y talk about their relationship. I mean, all of that was great and my soul ascended instantly to heaven or whatever. But what's really great about this scene is the way it's solidifying the arc of the season, specifically the motivations and feelings of Dean Winchester, our protagonist. He said much the same thing to Sam last week, and here he's reiterating it to Cas - what is the point of anything? Was anything they've ever done real? If Chuck was pulling the strings all along? I think it's going to be particularly difficult for Dean to get out of that mindset, and it doesn't help that he's still angry with Cas. For Jack, for Mary. And he's still angry at the world for screwing him over. Again.

So yeah. For obvious reasons, I freakin' loved that scene, and I can't wait to see more of Cas and Dean's relationship angst for the rest of the season. I'm not quite naive enough to expect a romantic confirmation, but I do hope that their bond gets a focus in this final season. And while this episode wasn't exactly a winner in my books, there were plenty of little moments within it that make me excited about what comes next. And that promo... oh gosh. If Sam has to kill Rowena I'm going to cry so many tears.

7/10

#review #supernatural #supernatural review #spn #spn 15x02

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caranfindel · 5 years

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Recap/review 14.12: Prophet and Loss”

THEN: Donatello. \o/ Nick. /o\ Michael. The box.

NOW: The bottom of the ocean. Dean in the box. Banging on it with bloody fingers. Water dripping. Creaks. Panic. Calling out for Sam. Phone dying. Darkness!

Title card!

Oh, it was just a dream. Were you fooled?

I mean this frantic battery death is a dead giveaway.

Speaking of dreams, a door opens and we see Sam clad in sweatpants, a t-shirt, and socks. I've said it before, and I'll say it again: if I get nothing else from this episode - and there's a good chance I won't (you know why) - at least I got THIS.

(Tumblr mobile is being an asshole and won’t let me insert any of my own screencaps, and the gif search isn’t giving me many for this ep. But I need to break all this text up with some images. So pretend this is Sam in a t-shirt and sweats trying to comfort Dean after his nightmare.)

Close enough, right?

He apologizes for waking Dean, who (strangely enough) admits he was having a nightmare. And whose real-life fingers are also bloody, from scratching the wall in his sleep. Sam asks if he wants to talk about it and Dean tells him to go to sleep. Sam switches to I know you're scared, and I know we're always maybe gonna die but this is even worse because Michael's gonna keep you buried alive forever and I kinda love the way Sam isn't bothering to sugarcoat the situation at ALL. He's convinced they have to find another way. Dean's convinced there isn't one.

(Sidebar: The guys are in a pretty nice (for them) hotel room. I wonder if this was deliberate. I wonder if Dean said I want a decent hotel room for once, just like he wanted to finally celebrate Christmas, or if Sam picked it.)

Elsewhere, a guy dumps salt into a tank of water and drowns a woman in it, carving her arm up while he's at it. When he's done, he gazes skyward and listens to the voices inside his head.

Cut to Nick in the hospital. Do you care? I don't either. Let's cut to the chase and say he ends up escaping. On to better things.

The Impala pulls up at a rest area. She's pulling a trailer? Oh no, I don't think that's a good idea. Dean asks Sam if he's still with him on the plan, and again, Sam isn't sugarcoating ANYTHING, telling Dean that he gave him his word but he hates the plan and Mom hates the plan and Dean needs to tell Cas and Jack about the plan. Dean's stalling on that because he's afraid they'd "shake" him, and Sam says that being shook "wouldn't be the worst thing" and SAM, YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD, I LOVE THAT YOU ARE SO NOT DOWN WITH THIS PLAN AND NOT HIDING THAT AT ALL.

I love that Sam's attitude is yeah, I told you I'd help, so I'm helping, but it's really a stupid, stupid plan and you shouldn't do it. Dean tells him to "put the end of this trip out of your head," so I guess they are actually on their way to the coast right now, towing Dean's coffin. I wonder how they convinced Mary not to come along? (Ha ha not really, I think Mary would have said bye, love you and gone back to shooting pumpkins.)

(Sidebar: Every time I say I wonder why a certain character isn't around, several of you kindly point out that the show can't afford to have these guest stars appear in every episode, and I love you for trying, but I know the Doylist reasons; I'm looking for the Watsonian ones. And usually there are none.)

Suitable for any occasion.

Dean gets out and heads for the bathroom, and Sam (whose hair is adorably fluffy today) immediately goes for his phone and calls Cas and we learn that he already told Cas about the awful, awful plan (BECAUSE OF COURSE HE DID). Cas has been looking for a way to eject and destroy Michael but hasn't found anything. He reports that Rowena went through the Book of the Damned to try to find a solution, "and I told her to do it again and see if she missed something, and the woman has a remarkable command of profanity." (BECAUSE OF COURSE SHE DOES. AND IN A SCOTTISH ACCENT. I WANT TO WITNESS THAT.) Cas suggests that he could speak to Dean, as if he has more influence than Sam (NO) and Sam says it won't matter, he's never seen Dean this set on something.

Cut to Drowny Guy picking out his next victim, muttering about striking down the first born in the land of Egypt, and carving up his next victim. More voices. "I am the Lord," he says. Huh.

The Impala drives through the night. Dean is either feeling or remembering feeling Michael banging on that walk-in door in his head, so he decides it's conversation time. He starts out by apologizing for not always being the greatest brother, and I want Sam to say no, you were a great brother, you were just a crappy mother, but that's not your fault because you were four years older than me and shouldn't have been forced into a parental role. Instead Sam tells him he was always there for him. Dean continues in this vein, apologizing for taking John's side and admitting that sometimes he was gone because John actually sent him away. Sam says he left all of that behind, and then shuts Dean down by saying he needs to keep his mind off the end of this trip, just like Dean said. "So if we could not have conversations that sound like deathbed apologies, I would really appreciate it."

Shhhh. Just pretend.

DAMN. I know some of you are thinking Sam should be more supportive and let Dean talk, especially since he's the one who's always trying to get Dean to talk about his feelings in the first place. But I love the way he's not making this easy on Dean. And I also love that he's insisting on what HE needs, but I suspect that he's focused just as much on not letting Dean play out the Deathbed Apology Tour in his head.

Not only is he doing that, but he's actually looking for a case. And he found one. Dean's all, a case? On my Deathbed Apology Tour? And it does seem like a really odd thing for Sam to do. Unless, of course, you accept that he's stalling his little heart out. Dean decides it would be nice to work one last case together, which is a sentiment Sam does NOT appreciate. Anyway, it's our two victims, who both had "graffiti" carved into them. Enochian graffiti.

(Sidebar: Remember that time someone carved Enochian graffiti on the Impala and neither Sam nor Dean recognized it? Ha ha ha ha continuity.)

The next scene is in broad daylight and the guys are in suits. Or at least Dean is in a suit. We can't see Sam because the person whose door they're knocking on won't open it all the way. So, Dean took his suit on his Deathbed Apology Tour? And when Sam decided to run after him, he grabbed his suit as well? (Eh, it gives me Winchesters in suits and overcoats, so I'm willing to handwave it.)

The guy who finally opens the door is the twin brother of the second victim. There's a heavy-handed little scene here where the surviving brother (the younger brother, it turns out, because he's four minutes younger than his dead twin, and if that reminds you that Sam is four years younger than Dean you're not alone) talks about how close they were and how "losing him was like losing a part of myself" and Sam looks sad and Dean looks guilty. It turns out the dead brother had a super-religious friend named Tony, and a convenient picture reveals Tony had an Enochian tattoo which translates to "the word." Duh duh duuuuh! So, who else knows Enochian? Time to call Cas!

Ah, here we go. A real one.

Cas immediately reveals that Sam told him about the Deathbed Apology Tour because, like Sam, he has zero chill about Dean's plan. He also reveals that Tony is the next prophet in line, after Donatello. Sam doesn't make any excuses or apologize for spilling the beans, and if you haven't figured it out yet, I LOVE THAT. The guys wonder if the apparent emergence of a new prophet means Donatello is dead (spoiler alert: we see him on life support so probably not) and Dean calls his doctor, pretending to be his nephew. Using his real name. I have a feeling Sam would have done a better job, because Dean just asks "How is Donatello? He's still alive, right?" which I find funnier than I probably should. So, if he's still alive, how was Tony activated? Let's go ask him.

Apparently the guys took a long time changing out of their suits, because it's dark when they break into Tony's house. They find his bedroom covered in writing, much like Gabriel's redecorating in the bunker except some of it is English. And some of it is about the killing of first-born sons, and I think that's going to mean something for Dean, but spoiler alert: it doesn't. They also find pictures of his two victims, and a clue as to where the killings happened and what the next one will be.

The next one is actually happening right now, with a guy getting doused with gasoline. Luckily the Winchesters break in and save him right before Tony sets him on fire. Sam gets maybe a little too rough with Tony, and Dean calls him off. Tony claims he's doing God's work according to His orders and Sam's all, yeah, no, whatever you heard wasn't God. Tony immediately believes them, apparently. If I thought God was talking to me, I'd think these guys were heretics or the devil or something. But Tony believes them and gets Dean's gun and kills himself. So, I guess that one took care of itself!

But it's not over, because the next prophet could come online and do the same thing, since Donatello being between "between life and death" might be causing prophets who are "wired wrong." Sam asks how they can stop the next prophet from going loco, and, well, there's one way to get rid of someone who's between life and death, isn't there?

(Meanwhile, Nick breaks into his old house and doesn't recognize his dead wife's ghost, but I can't blame him because she's changed A LOT since she died. He hopes she's Lucifer, and somehow he sacrifices her ability to move on because he'd rather have Lucifer and that's all the time I'm spending on that.)

At the Happy Daze (ugh, really?) Nursing Home, Donatello's doctor tells his loving nephews that they're making the right choice to let him go. And luckily, Dr. Novak is here to help! Hee! The doctor tells them Uncle Donatello is occasionally babbling, just as a reflex, and I don't think actual words are a reflex but okay. Cas and Dean have a sidebar about how much Cas regrets what happened to Donatello, but he had no choice, and Dean's all, I know exactly how you feel, and Cas is all, no you don't, because MY plan was the only choice, but YOUR plan is stupid.

Sam interrupts this with a video the doctor took of Donatello's "reflexive babbling." It's actually him speaking Enochian, saying he'll strike down the first-born of Egypt. Apparently Tony got wrapped up in Donatello trying to rewrite the Bible or whatever (Buckleming!) but somehow this means Cas can fix him, because "if there's a spark of hope, then I have to try; you taught me that." Boom. Take that, Mr. Deathbed Apology Tour. (Although I think Sam would have had something to do with that lesson, but whatever.) They rudely kick the doctor out of Donatello's room, and while Cas does his work, Sam and Dean have a quiet talk.

"If Cas isn't right about Donatello," Sam says, "then where does that leave him? Trapped. Trapped in his own body, somewhere between life and death. It's just tough to think about somebody going through that." Oh my God, Sam, you are the least subtle person on earth and I can't get enough of it. Dean doesn't rise to the bait, but just tells Sam the plan is still on. Then they go check on Cas and watch him work. His eyes go glowy and Donatello wakes up, confused but alive.

The real doctor comes in and says wow, that's weird that you came here to take him off life support and he miraculously came out of his coma. No, he doesn't, but I would. Then Donatello eats Jello and Dean leaves Cas to tell him what he's missed.

Dean goes out to where Sam is leaning on the Impala, drinking beer. And Sam is SO angry. (Sidebar: What was Dean remembering when he said Sam was always a "happy drunk," because it's nothing we've seen.)

Don’t open that shaken-up beer, Dean.

Let's just enjoy this conversation, shall we?

Where's the party?

It's right here. I mean, we're celebrating, right?

Okay...

Yeah, but not too much! Tomorrow morning we're back on track. No rest for the self-destructive.

Well, I will call this a win. Kinda nice. I'm going out on a high.

"Going out" being the operative phrase.

I'm sorry.

You're sorry. {laughs} How sorry are you? Sorry that you planned to keep Donatello alive, but when it comes to you, you just throw in the towel? Are you sorry that after all these years, our entire lives, after I looked up to you, I learned from you, I copied you, I followed you to Hell and back? Are you sorry that all of that means nothing now?

Who's saying that?

You. When you tell me I have to kill you. When you're telling me I have to throw away everything we stand for. Throw away faith. Throw away family. We're the guys who saved the world. We don't just check out of it.

Sam, I have tried everything. Everything! I got one card left to play, and I have to play it.

You have one card today. But we'll find another tomorrow. But if you quit on us today, there will be no tomorrow! You tell me you don't know what else to do. I don't either, Dean. Not yet. But what you're doing now, it's wrong! It's quitting! I mean, look what just happened. Donatello never quit fighting, so we could help him because he never gave up. I believe in us, Dean. {Sam rears back and HITS DEAN!} I believe in us! {Sam HITS HIM AGAIN AND THEN PULLS HIM INTO AN ANGRY, TEARFUL HUG!} Why don't you believe in us too?

I'M DEAD. I CANNOT HANDLE THIS.

YES, this is the real thing.

Dean can’t handle it either. He's only human. "Okay, Sam," he says. "Let's go home." Sam says "what?" in disbelief. HE IS STILL CLUTCHING HIS BROTHER IN HIS ARMS, BY THE WAY. Sam finally pulls away and Dean says "Let's go home. Maybe Billie's wrong. Maybe. But I do believe in us. I believe in all of us." (Because yeah, this is when Cas shows up.) "And I'll keep believing until I can't. Until there's absolutely no other way. But when that day comes, if that day comes, Sam, you have to take it for what it is. The end. And you have to promise me that you'll do then what you can't do now, and that's let me go. And put me in that box."

Sam says "all right," just like he did at the end of the previous episode but DAMN this one is different. Dean PATS SAM'S FACE and says "Don't hit me again, okay?" EXCUSE ME CAN SOMEONE SCOOP UP THAT PUDDLE OF GOO ON THE FLOOR, BECAUSE IT'S ME. And I don't know how Cas got to the Happy Daze Nursing Home, but whatever he drove, he's leaving it here. He gets in the car with the Winchesters and we fade to white.

WELL.

I don't know about you guys, but I had pretty low expectations for this episode. And some of it met those low expectations (lookin' at you, Nick) but some of it BLEW ME THE FUCK AWAY. And by "some" I mean SAM AND SAM AND DEAN AND SAM. Because Sam loves his brother SO MUCH and is SO ANGRY and HURT and BETRAYED and Dean is SO HELPLESS in the face of that anger and hurt and betrayal and he's thinking I thought it was safe to tell you I loved you, since I was about to die, but you are using that against me and it's hardly fair and then he's doing what he can't always do when his little brother wants something, which is GIVE IT TO HIM.

I'm trying to think of other times when Sam hit Dean out of anger. Not in a mutual fight, not when he was trying to stop him from doing something stupid then and there, not when he was under someone else's control, just Sam lashing out in hurt and anger and hitting his brother. The only one I can think of is the hotel room fight in When The Levee Breaks, but I'm sure y'all will remind me of others, as you do.

Dammit. This is one of those episodes where a few minutes of wonderful makes up for a whole lot of nonsense. What did you guys think? And as always, help me stay unspoiled, please!

#spn #14.12 #spoilers #recap #tv recaps

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angelkurenai · 6 years

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Just a chance - Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: Just a chance

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2,247

Summary: Dean Winchester, rolling through town no strings attached. But the moment he first lays eyes on you he is taken by you. As time goes by he realizes just deep his feelings are and no matter how much it scares him, he confesses to them. But despite how much you want to believe him, his past gets in the way and you are so scared of heartbreak that you don’t know if you should give into him.

A scoff leaving Dean's lips after barely just a minute was what got their attention again, but this time the younger Winchester had enough of it before he slammed his computer shut “Alright, what?” he huffed and Dean tore his eyes away from you to give him a perplexed look.

“What?” the older Winchester asked back and got a perfect bitch-face in response from his brother.

“Dude this is like the tenth time you scoff in four minutes! What the hell? What's wrong with you?” he crossed his arms over his chest, leaning back in his chair as Dean shook his head.

“Wrong? Nothing's wrong, everything's fine! Just freaking peachy.” he grumbled, his eyes – as much as he wanted to stay focused and prove Sam wrong – inevitably found their way back to you, and the scowl instantly formed on his face.

“Sure it is. If your murderous look is your definition of happy, then I believe you.” he said with a smirk when Dean's head snapped in hi direction with wide eyes.

“Murderous? I don't have a murderous look. And even if I do then I don't have it now.” another scoff left his lips and before Sam could speak up, Jack piped in.

“Eleven.” he said “You have scoffed eleven times in total five minutes now. I've counted.” the nephilim said with a small nod as Dean looked at him in disbelief and betrayal “And yes, you do have a murderous look. You frown and clench your jaw and fists, and you focus so intensily on something that I think you wish to kill it with your mind... which I don't think is right. It is mostly about when a guy talks to (Y/n) and very different from the one you have with monsters so I... I don't understand why would you want to kill the bartender and not Sam, Castiel or me when we are close to (Y/n).” he tilted his head to the side as Sam didn't even try to keep his snickering.

“Alright, first; whose side are you on kid? Mine or the douche at the bar? And second; there is no look but even if there was then he'd sure as hell deserve. That and whatever's coming his way.” he grumbled, pushing his chair back roughly and getting on his feet with a death glare to approach the two of you.

“You didn't scoff this time!” Jack mentioned, getting a look from the older hunter “Why-” he turned to the rest of his family “Is he going to kill him?”

“We hope not, Jack. We hope.” Castiel sighed and Sam chuckled softly when he saw the worry was still in Jack's eyes.

“Don't worry, (Y/n)'s not gonna let him, Jack. And if he tries to then... her murderous look is even more scary.”

~*~

“That wasn't necessary, you know.” you huffed, arms crossed over your chest as you stared out of the window.

“Not necessary? The asshole was all over you instead of giving you the beer you asked for!” he growled, scoffing soon afterwards and once he realized it, he blinked and shook his head with pursed lips.

“But I wasn't complaining, was I?” you shrugged but it your words held more bitterness than satisfaction, after all he too had noticed you were doing it more to spite him, which in all honesty made his heart skip a beat or two. Not that any of it would be able to lessen the jealousy burning inside of him.

“Besides, you say he was all over me?” you narrowed your eyes at him “Maybe cause you didn't pay attention to the way that waitress was undressing you with her eyes.”

“No, no I didn't.” he said softly, a smile on his lips much to your surprise “I was too focused on you to pay attention to anything else around me. Happens from the first time we met.”

You paused for a moment, your own jealousy lessening, so you just scoffed softly and looked away from him “Nice try but we've been through this.” you mumbled, despite feeling the butterflies in your stomach go crazy “Besides, where the hell are we going now? You all but dragged me away from him before I could even get our beers and didn't tell anyone a thing. Why did we have to leave the guys back too?”

“Was hoping for a date.” he said with a small smirk but you gave him a look and he dropped it.

“A what now?” you blinked, frowning before a heavy sigh left your lips “Dean”

“No, no don't 'Dean' me now. You said you wanted to visit that burger joint when we came into town and-” he chewed his lower lip, nodding his head “Since we were driving each other crazy with jealousy, on purpose or not, this was the perfect opportunity.”

“I- I wasn't-” but your stopped yourself when he gave you a side look and that soft knowing smirk that made your cheeks burn so you looked away with a stubborn huff “I wasn't jealous. I'm not- That's not what I do, especially with you.You can do whatever the fuck you want with any woman you want.” you meant to say more firmly but it came out as whisper “You are single and I'm just your best friend, why would I be bothered by it? I don't have a reason to, it's clear. Just like you have no reason to-”

“But I do.” he spoke up, cutting you off with a simple shrug “And I've told you just why.”

“Why? Why you're jealous? You admit to-”

“Yes” he breathed out softly, eyes fully on you and so intense you had to look away flustered.

“Eyes on road, Winchester.” you muttered before clearing your throat and he let out a breathless laugh.

“That hard to believe?” he asked in a rough yet gentle voice and pursing your lips, you shrugged your shoulders “I was. I really was... and I confess to it.” he nodded his head, shaking his head with a smile and in disbelief “The things you do to me, sweetheart. Way back I would have never said it out loud but now- Son of a bitch, how do you do that?”

“I don't do anything, we both know it.” you forced your eyes away from the man who made your heart skip beats with just a mere look.

The man had tried over numerous occasions to win you over. He was flirting at first, to the point you could swear he had just taken it upon himself to make you blush all shades of red there were, in all the ways the older Winchester knew. And as flattered as you were, you made sure you weren't falling for him and pointed out to him that it was best if you kept things professional between you. Of course that didn't mean he was going to listen and as time passed by and you turned from a hunting partner to family, moved in with them, came closer and he got to know you better he realized that he had been far more than just infatuated with you at first. It was something deeper he was scared to think about, a forbidden four-lettered word for him. He had yet to confess that, because he was still Dean Winchester, but he let you know that he was set on winning your heart over no matter what it took. You on the other hand, and as much as you tried to convince yourself otherwise, had fallen for the man and where trying your best to push away very attempt for fear that you would end up heartbroken. Trying, not succeeding of course. And it was obvious in how you acted like a jealous girlfriend every time a waitress hit on him or how you did things to spite him without eve realizing it. Hence the bartender.

“No, you think you know it. But I know very differently, and you just won't see it. It's different.” he breathed out, every hint of anger any of you held completely gone by now “'Sides, is it that hard to give me a chance? You were about to give the bartender one and, hell, even that policeman two days ago and better not talk about the officer a week ago.”

“Do you seriously keep track of all the men that hit on me?” you blinked and he shrugged as if it was nothing.

“Tell me you don't remember all the women that hit on me the past week and I won't talk about it again.” he said with a confident smirk, eyes flicking between you and the empty road ahead of him.

“I don-” but you stopped yourself because in a blink of an eye all of their faces flashed through your eyes, making you purse your lips and clenching your jaw to look down at your hands; or more like glare at them “Not the point.”

“Isn't it?” he asked with a soft laugh, not at all mocking or cocky, more like content “You remember them all when I can't even recall their hair color.”

“Right, because they are so many you lose track.” you bit back bitterly but he didn't seem in the least bit annoyed.

“Because I never pay attention and we;ve talked about this.” he sighed “Look, all I'm asking for is a chance here. You know me for so long, I- I wouldn't say a word about my feelings and I'm now baring my heart on my sleeve for you and it ain't the first time. So what will it cost you to-”

“A broken heart?” you asked back, cutting him off as he he slowed down the car to the side of the road “Plenty of tears? Countless sleepless nights? No will to fight? Maybe my life if I'm that lucky?” you regretted the last words as soon as they left your lips but it was too late to take it back. You knew he would give his life for you if need be, that you never doubted.

Pain flashed through his eyes but clenching his jaw, he looked away “Is that what you really think?” his voice was rough and you soon spoke in a broken whisper.

“That is what I've seen happen.” you choked out “And I-” you tried to swallow down the lump in your throat “I don't give a fuck about my life, Dean. I don't care if I knew that I was to die today as long as I got to protect you. But-”

“But you fear that this is going to be just another thing huh?” his tone wasn't accusing, mostly hurt “You think, even after all of my efforts, that I only want to what? Jut hook up with you and call it a night?”

“No, but I think you will inevitably do what you always do. End things, in a bad way and way too fast for me to take at least. I know you probably don't want it but that is who you are, Dean, rolling through town no strings attached. You can't do relationship, even if you want to- or at least think you want to, and in the end Dean it's just history repeating itself.” you gave him a weak smile “But I just need something more permanent. A constant in my life, and you can't give it that. I'm- I'm not mad at you, honest, but it's just-”

“My past keeps getting in the way. I see.” he smiled bitterly, nodding his head “You're so scared that all that happened with every other woman is going to happen with you. But you don't see that you are not like any other woman, that this has never happened before- not to me, (Y/n)!”

“Don't do this to me... please.” you nearly sobbed.

“Are you so scared you'll feel things for me and end up heartbroken to give me a chance?” his voice was hoarse and as you met his eyes you realized they were glossy like yours.

“No” your lower lip trembled, scared for the confession that wanted to slip past your lips “I'm so scared I will find myself falling even harder for you to the point I won't have a heart at all after this. Heartbreak is already inevitable with how far we've come.”

His eyes widened softly, green orbs watching curiously but with a great surprise, wonder, shock... and awe, adoration and love? You had to blink, looking away as you felt your face heat up dangerously so and your heart want to break out of your chest.

“Then...” his voice was husky as he hesitantly reached out to place a hand over yours “All you can do now is...” your eyes fell at your hands and as much as you wanted to pull back, you found yourself playing with his fingers as his did with yours before locking with his and he gave you a squeeze. Your eyes fluttered shut, trying to keep the tears back because of how your heart fluttered both in fear of the heartache and in utter adoration and love of the man next to you. You had fallen so hard already that there was no coming back from this for all of you, not just your heart.

“Give me a chance...” he whispered hoarse and when your eyes fluttered open you realized he was barely inches away “Please”

#supernatural #supernatural imagine #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural one shot #supernatural x reader #dean #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #dean imagine #dean winchester imagine #dean one shot #dean winchester one shot #dean fanfiction #dean winchester fanfiction

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