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sheppardsmckay · 9 months

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I’ve finally finished the incredible show that is Stargate Atlantis and I. Have. Thoughts.

I watched Vegas and Enemy at the Gates together (on the advice of my sga leader @lightthewaybackhome) and I’m so happy I did.

So Vegas feels like a different show entirely, from the filming to the characters. Sheppard does not seem like Sheppard nor does anyone else. They’re all darker, more broken versions. My heart was just broken the whole time, but I didn’t cry until I saw Rodney though. This is the Rodney without his Sheppard to guide him and help him. This is the Rodney who lets Keller pass him by. This is the Rodney that lets Sheppard go alone. This is Rodney without a Sheppard that lit up Atlantis (this is honestly worse than last man but it’s a good parallel).

This is the Sheppard that goes alone on yet another suicide mission because he’s lost everything anyway…and then he dies. While Johnny Cash’s “Solitary Man” plays. Because that’s who Sheppard is, not the man in black saving the world with his people, but the solitary man who is alone without a home and no chance to be healed. And yet still he sacrifices himself and is brave and dies saving the world. Sheppard becomes the action hero at the end of the movie that goes out guns blazing and, while it’s usually cool to see, this one just breaks our hearts.

And then we move to the finale and…oh! Sheppard is Sheppard again, and Rodney is Rodney and everyone is okay.

And we see the parallels between the Vegas world and ours throughout the episode. Sheppard about to go on a suicide mission stops right at the last moment because Rodney’s voice breaks through the radio. The team is about to die blowing up the hive ship but stops because Atlantis is there in time to save them. Atlantis is lit up because of Sheppard. And then we see them all at the end. They’re happy, and alive and not broken.

And even though they aren’t fully healed, cause who ever is in this life, they’re on the path to healing. There’s hope, there’s light that has broken through the darkness (the way the show ends with the light piercing through the clouds is so beautiful in a literal and metaphorical sense like I’m sobbing).

There’s a couple lines from songs that my Sheppard told me about that is forever linked with SGA now. Ghosts That We Knew has a beautiful line, “So give me hope in the darkness that I will see the light”. Throughout the show there’s so much darkness and pain, but we stick through it with the team because there’s hope that it’ll be okay. There’s hope because John is there, because they’re all there right where they should be. It’s a beautiful metaphor for life.

And then there’s a song called Hospital for Souls. It’s mainly a Sheppard song, as he lets himself burn for his family, but it’s also how Atlantis is a hospital for all the broken souls and brings them together. It’s why Sam didn’t stay there long and Woolsey came on board. It’s why Ronon says at the end that he is home. It’s why Teyla chooses to stay and raise her son in Atlantis instead of her home world. Why Rodney waits 48000 years for Sheppard and why Sheppard realizes finally that he doesn’t have to die to be redeemed, that living and healing is possible for even him.

It’s been a wonderful journey watching this show, it’s changed me, helped me grow and made me realize that healing is possible for even me. That a family is what you make it and they can be your hospital for your soul no matter how weary, broken or hurt.

I just love this show. I’m immediately gonna start rewatching it from the beginning because this. This is my family, my home. I’ve found myself in the darkness of Sheppard and the outlierness of Rodney. In the fierce love of Ronon and sisterly bond of Teyla.

I’m ever so grateful my friend got me to watch this, so happy that I went through the darkness into the light with my team, through tears and shouts of joy. I always said Supernatural would be the only show with this kind of life-changing, life-saving impact. But Stargate Atlantis now holds that honor too, this little, cheesy, ridiculously funny and terribly sad series has changed my life, helped me be the person I wanted to be for so many years but always struggled with (yeah I’m louder, complain more and am maybe a bit more annoying but gosh it’s more fun) and just generally helped me with so many endless things. And I’ve found some great friends and got closer to one of my best friends, aka my Sheppard lol.

Anyway, all this to say that this show is beautiful and incredible and please do yourself the honor of watching it but definitely bring tissues. Don’t worry too much about why they wear sneakers for like two seasons or their military tactics are off, but just enjoy the friendship, the humor, and how wonderful it shows that it doesn’t matter how messed up you are. How dark you’ve gotten or how many pieces of your soul you’ve sacrificed for others. You can be redeemed and healed and made whole. You can find people who love you despite your flaws and shortcomings. And you can find the light no matter how dark the world has become. You too can be home.

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veryhardymemes · 9 months

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Noah Kahan Sentence Starters Stick Season (We’ll Be Here Forever)

Content Warning For: Suicidal ideations/imagery, mentions of alcohol/drugs, depression/melancholia, mentions of COVID

Northern Attitude:

How you been? Settled down?

How’re your kids?

Where are you?

What does it mean?

Forgive my northern attitude

Stick Season:

I am stuck between my anger and the blame that I can't face

Memories are something even smoking weed does not replace

Doc told me to travel but there's COVID on the planes

I love Vermont, but it's the season of the sticks

I saw your mom, she forgot that I existed

I just like to play the victim

I thought that if I piled something good on all my bad that I could cancel out the darkness I inherited from dad

I’m no longer funny

My other half was you

I hope this pain’s just passing through

I doubt it

All My Love:

How have things been?

Well, now that you mention it

I'm saying too much but you know how it gets out here

No winter coat could keep out all the cold of your atmosphere

You got all my love

If you need me dear, I'm the same as I was

You burrowed in under my skin

What I'd give to have you out from me

I just hope that your scars heal

I swear I was scared to death

She Calls Me Back:

Oh, there was heaven in your eyes

Everything’s alright when she calls me back

Look at me and don't you lie

For bullshit I do not have time

Does it bite at your edges?

Do you lie awake restless?

Why am I so obsessive?

This town's the same as you left it

The radio is taunting me

I don't get much sleep most nights

I'm seeing you in every dream

If only I could wake you up

If only I could fall asleep

I'll love you when the oceans dry

I'll love you when the rivers freeze

I was too afraid of living life in your footsteps

Come Over:

I’m in the business of losing your interest

Don't you know there's a coffin buried under the garden?

You won't have to guess who they're speaking about

I'm in the process of clearing out cobwebs

I was taking the wrong meds

It feels good to be sad

I know that it ain’t much

I know that it ain’t cool

You don’t have to tell the other kids at school

Someday I’m gonna be somebody people want

New Perspective:

Silence is making me nostalgic

We were kids but that don't make this less hard

If I could fly I doubt I'd even do it

You made Ohio feel just like Central Park

You and all of your new perspective now

Everywhere, Everything:

It's been a long year

Would we survive in a horror movie?

We trust everyone we meet

I wanna love you 'till we're food for the worms to eat

Keep my hand in yours

Orange Juice:

Honey, come over

We know you got sober

There's orange juice in the kitchen

It’s yours if you want it

We're just glad you could visit

The last time I drank I was face down passed out there on your lawn

Are we all just crows to you now?

Are we all just pulling you down?

You didn't put those bones in the ground

Strawberry Wine:

Darling speak to me

Remember telling me that you thought you were cursed?

I'm in love with every song you've ever heard

If I could lose you I would

We buried your bones in plywood

I said love is fast asleep on a dirt road with your head on my shoulder

For you, darling, for you

No thing defines a man like love that makes him soft and sentimental like a stranger in the park

For a few moments, I see you

Growing Sideways:

So I took my medication

We argued about Jesus

I said I’m cured

I’m still angry at my parents

But it’s a start

I ignore things

At the end of the day I know there are worse ways to stay alive

I'm terrified that I might never have met me

I guess I’ll drive

So I forgot my medication

Now I’m suffering in style

Why is pain so damn impatient?

It's better to die numb than feel at all

Halloween:

I'm sailing away to a place I'm afraid of

I'm drinking my days with the coastal longshoreman

I drink 'till I drown and I smoke 'till I'm burning

I worry for you

You worry for me

I'm leaving this town and I'm changing my address

I know that you'll come if you want

There's a murder of crows in the low light off Boston

Homesick:

Two months since you got back

Are you bored yet?

The weather ain’t been bad

If you’re into masochistic bullshit

This place is such great motivation for anyone tryna move

Time moves so damn slow

I swear I feel my organs failing

I would leave if only I could find a reason

I'm mean because I grew up in New England

I got dreams but I can't make myself believe them

I’m homesick

Still:

I don’t want to say goodbye

You find love that lasts a while 'till you lose the reasons

You miss something that you can't place but you can't deny it

It's like I'm still here with you

It's a bottomless hole I've found out here with a trace of no one

The View Between Villages:

For a minute the world seems so simple

I’m seventeen again

I am not scared of death

I’ve got dreams again

Your Needs, My Needs:

Oh well, who was I?

Who was I to watch you wilt?

You ain't gotta tell me what it means

You'll always be a flower on my skin

I promise to be there this time

I'm naming the stars in the sky after you

Dial Drunk:

I'm remembering I promised to forget you now

I ain't proud of all the punches that I've thrown in the name of someone I no longer know

I don't like that when they threw me in the car

I gave your name as my emergency phone call

Even the cops thought you were wrong for hanging up

I’d die for you

The dial tone is all I have

I beg you, sir, just let me call

Let's wait I swear she'll call me back

Son, are you a danger to yourself?

Son, why do you do this to yourself?

Paul Revere:

This place had a heartbeat in its day

The boys are drunk

But it just ain't that simple, it never was

One day I'm gonna cut it clear

I’m not from around here

I'll leave before the road crew's out

Folks just disappear

If I could leave, I would've already left

No Complaints:

Thought I had something

That's the same as having something

I'd get mad at nothing

Blame my dad for something

I'd pull no punches

Thought I was raised better

Hope the skin heals where the pain enters

I set a time, then I showed up

Now the weight of the world ain't so bad

I filled the hole in my head with prescription medication

Who am I to complain?

And now the pain's different

I can finally eat and I can fall asleep

Call Your Mom:

Oh, you’re spiraling again

Don't let this darkness fool you

All lights turned off can be turned on

I’ll drive all night

I’ll call your mom

If you could see yourself like this, you'd have never tried it

Oh dear, don't be discouraged

I've been exactly where you are

Throw a punch, fall in love, give yourself a reason

Don't wanna drive another mile wondering if you're breathing

Won’t you stay with me?

You’re Gonna Go Far:

This is normal conversation, babe, it's all fine

The college kids are getting so young, ain't they?

I got tired of the frat boys with the brights on

"This is good land" or at least it was

Say whatever you feel, be wherever you are

We're overdue for a revival

We spent so long just getting by

You told me you would make a difference

#memes #rp meme #roleplay meme #inbox meme #inbox memes #sentence starter #roleplay starters #roleplay sentence meme #rp sentence meme #sentence starter meme #lyric sentence starters #lyric sentence starter #noah kahan sentence starters #noah kahan rp memes

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kkcauseway · 4 months

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Upgrade To Grandpa

Summary: Sarah survives that fateful day and so she and Joel are happy in Jackson surrounded by family. She has been feeling off for a little while and so goes to get checked, its there she finds she's pregnant. Aged 22 and having recently lost her boyfriend she needs her family around to support her and they do just that. Content and warnings: Tw-depictions of childbirth, brief mention of sickness. So much fluff, Caring!Joel, Parent!Joel, Joel being the best dad imaginable. Word count: 4.4K Authors note: Okay so I was so excited the entire time I was writing this! Like it honestly makes me happy writing about Grandpa Joel. I really really hope you enjoy this. 🩷

After missing her period for three months in a row, firstly expecting it’s due to stress and then grief, Sarah finds herself at Jackson’s doctor with Maria in tow for support. It’s there she finds out that she’s pregnant, she cries for a long time having just lost her boyfriend; killed in an ambush a few weeks prior. She’s definitely happy about it to an extent, but what sort of life is this child going to have, Jackson’s safe, probably the safest place on earth but anything could happen. That thought is always in the back of her mind, even though she berates herself for ever thinking it. However, having a piece of Sam with her forever in her child is somewhat a blessing. Is 22 too young to have a baby, especially alone? Her dad, did it? Her mind’s constantly jumping with questions, fears, even regrets. How is she going to cope with all this?

After having a long talk with Maria, once she’s calmed down from the initial shock of news, she decides on telling her dad that night. ‘Just bite the bullet and get it over with’ Maria encourages; she knows Sarah doesn’t need the extra stress that keeping a secret like this would entail. And it’s not like anyone was going to be mad she’s an adult, but she’s still scared of disappointing her dad.

“Daddy you’re gonna be so mad at me…” is how the conversation begins. And it ends with ‘Baby I’ll always support you; nothing would ever make me turn my back on you, ever, I love you forever, that will never change, I’m happy s’long as you’re happy.’ And she’s happy, -well since the initial shock of the fact she’s growing another life inside of her blew over that is. He gives her a long hug at the end of their chat.

Her dad, Tommy and Maria have been there for her all the way through her pregnancy. Anyone would think they’re more excited than she is. Tommy and Joel especially dote over her and the bump, and as soon as she started showing she wasn’t ‘allowed’ to do anything. They’re always adamant on her resting, and them doing the jobs she needs to do for her. Does she listen hell no! It’s boring being sat around all day; she may not have been going out on patrols, but there’s enough to do around town to keep her occupied. It’s only when she’s near full term that she agrees to ‘light duties only’ if she refuses rest.

It’s a cool December’s afternoon, she’s at the stables with Tommy helping him to brush the horses. She’s been feeling off since the night before, so Joel demanded ‘no lifting and no excessive exercise’ if she refused to stay home, which she did. She’s feeling a little off, not incapable of any and all activity, and so brushing the horses under the supervision of her Uncle it is. She loves them, and they help her to feel at ease; nobody could be mad at her for that.

They’re down to the last four mares when Sarah feels some pressure below and something of a small gush. Did her water just break? When she feels a second small rush of liquid accompanied by a spasm in her back, she’s sure.

It’s starting.

“Erm Uncle Tommy” Sarah breaks the comfortable silence between them as she puts the brush down on the nearest surface she can find. Holding the underside of her belly with her free hand.

“What is it, Babygirl?” he looks up to her over the horse he’s brushing.

“I think… I’m pretty sure my water just broke”.

“Ha ha good one”

“No Uncle Tommy I’m serious, I definitely felt something, and I know for sure I didn’t pee myself”.

Tommy throws his brush down and races over to her. He automatically goes into panic mode on seeing the wet patch of her trousers. Sarah actually has to calm him down before they can go about doing anything about the current situation.

“Tommy it’s okay it’s just my waters, I’m okay it’s not like the baby is just going fall out we have so much time. First babies take forever we read all about this. Let’s just put these horses away and then we’ll walk back home, okay?”

“Are you sure? Cus we can just go back now. Fuck the horses.”

“Tommy I’m okay, promise”. She laughs.

Once the horses are tied back up- Sarah isn’t allowed to help, she’s told ‘to sit her ass down and look pretty’ whilst her Uncle rushes to finish the current task- they get ready for the walk home.

“Right Babygirl, let’s get you home.” He says walking back over to her. He holds his hands out to her, and she takes them gladly, pulling herself up. Tommy zips her coat all the way up before linking arms with his niece, they then begin the slow walk back to the house. Snow is falling, it’s a pretty sentimental moment.

“How you feeling Sar?” he quizzes softly.

“Uncle Tommy I’m okay”.

“Are you sure?” his words catch in his throat slightly.

“Are you just gonna keep asking me?” she asks with a soft chuckle.

“Heck yeah I am!”

“You’re funny” she pats Tommy’s arm as she laughs.

“Ah, I know” he laughs with her “So, y’think them pains and the way y’been feelin’ was to do with labour then?”

“Early labour probably, I dunno, but I’m glad I stayed active this morning, couldn’t stand the idea of being stuck in bed.”

“Bed is what y’needed girl”.

“God how did I just KNOW that’s what you were gonna say, stop sounding so much like dad you’re supposed to be the cool one”. She pulls a face at him.

“Listen I am the cool one, but you’re in labour I cannot be cool right now, it’s taking everything in me not to run around like a fuckin’ headless chicken to ask anyone and everyone I can see for help.”

“Jeez you drama queen. Never thought a baby would turn you into such a wimp”.

“I ain’t no wimp”

“Mmm you sure about that?”

“Super sure.” But he couldn’t sound less sure if he tried.

They continue on the walk, snow crunching underfoot when a wave of pain overcomes Sarah, she tries to walk through it, but Tommy can feel the tightening of her arm on his and he sees the way her expression begins to change. He makes her stop then and turns to look at her, placing his hands on her shoulders.

“You’re okay Baby just breathe, okay?”

She nods as she exhales looking him in the eye.

“Good then”.

Sarah takes deep breaths in and out. The pain not being too bad to manage yet. But she knows what’s to come and that’s what panics her. She can’t handle this. She’s not ready for this. Her breathing begins to speed up, but not because of the pain.

“Uncle Tommy I can’t do this, I’m not ready, I’m not ready to be a mom. I’m not ready yet.” She looks down in teary eyed shame to her bump as she gasps.

“Babygirl” he grabs her chin softly, raising it so she has to look him in the eye “you’re so ready, so so ready, we’ve been preparing for so long now. And you’re so excited for this so don’t go getting scared now. You’re going to meet your baby! After all of this time waitin’ an plannin’, you’re finally gonna meet them! It’s excitin’!”

Tommy manages to bring a smile to her face, and with the pain completely gone they can continue walking.

They eventually make it to the front door; Tommy knocks rather frantically which of course is gonna scare the shit out of Joel.

“There’s no need to knock like that, he’s gonna think someone’s died.” She scoffs as they turn their heads to look at one another.

“Meh, play with his head a lil, give him some excitement.” He jests cocking his brow at her.

“Listen Dad’s gonna have more than enough excitement, anger and literally any other emotion you can think of thrown at him till this baby is born he don’t need you starting him off.”

“Sorry mommmm” he utters in exaggeration rolling his eyes.

“Shut up” she says hitting his side with a smile.

Joel doesn’t answer, but the lights on inside prove he’s home, meaning he’s probably too busy focusing on his latest woodwork project in the back and can’t hear them or he’s sat on the back porch with his guitar in hand. Something like that, curse his bad ear.

“Let’s see if we can get in round the back gate, your dad’s so deaf I swear”.

“Hey.” She hits him softly. “The man has been shot at and shot more guns than literally anyone else I know at least he has reason.”

“Nah he’s just an old fart.”

“Well, that still makes you the old farts younger brother, the younger fart”.

“Aha you’re sooo funny.” He remarks sarcastically.

“Runs in the genes so thanks I know I am.” She smiles, before shivering slightly. Tommy notices.

“Right, come on sweet girl let’s get you in the warm. S’freezing out here.” Tommy sighs.

He guides her round to the back gate of the house.

“Joel you here?” He shouts, letting go of Sarah to open the gate leading to the back of the house.

Once open they make their way through. Because Joel’s home as to be expected the back door is unlocked. Yet Joel is nowhere to be seen.

“I’m gonna get some water.” Sarah says solemnly, waddling to the sink once inside.

“Sure, I’m gonna go upstairs n’find your dad, he must be there.”

“Okay. Just, don’t panic him please.”

“Promise.” It’s said with sincerity.

Tommy makes his way upstairs and finds Joel exactly where he expects to, whittling away in his woodworking room. Vinyl player playing softly next to him. Completely in his element. Tommy knocks on the open door as he walks into the room.

“Oh, hey Tommy, you guys are back early, everything okay?” he says as he swivels around on his chair.

“You promise me you’ll stay calm?”

“Tommy what is it? Where’s Sarah, she okay?” he puts his latest creation down, before crossing his arms.

“Promise me” he puts his hand up in front of him, and that’s when Joel realises how serious it is.

“Okay fine, I promise”. He sits up straighter.

“Sarah’s water broke, I think she’s real scared, she’s trying to act brave, but she’s scared”.

“Shit Tommy her water, you’re sure?” he jumps out of his chair then.

“She seems pretty certain. It’s time.”

“Shit.” It’s a whisper as he rakes his hands through his hair.

“We’ve gotta stay calm, I can tell how scared she is”.

“You’re askin an awful lot of me there Tommy, she’s my little girl.” He laughs nervously.

“I know, but that’s also gonna go in your favour, you always know how to calm her down, so just be yourself, you can let the panic out when it’s all over”.

“Yeah, you’re right.” He looks behind Tommy to the landing then, knowing his daughter is in labour down those stairs. Panic evident on his face.

“Joel she’s gonna be great. She’s got”- he’s interrupted by a glass breaking.

They’re both quick to run down the stairs then.

“Sarah! You okay?!” Joel shouts as he scrambles his way into the kitchen. Almost tripping over where Sarah has left her shoes, right in the damn middle of the floor like usual, he takes a mental note to tell her off about that later.

They find her gripping onto the worktop hard; Joel runs straight to her rubbing her back.

“You’re okay Babygirl just breathe; you’re doing so good”.

“It hurts Daddy” she cries.

“I know Baby but you’re doing so good. You just remember to breathe through it like we read about, in an out, good, in for four out for six. Calm it right down that’s it.”

Sarah lets out a shuddering breath as the pain begins to deplete. “I am not looking forward to how this is gonna carry on” she says as she stands up straighter.

“Don’t move Baby” Tommy says softly, “you’ll cut yourself on the glass, just stay still and let me clean this up”.

“I’m sorry I broke it”.

“Joel, sort your daughter out, fuckin’ apologisin’ when she’s got nothin’ to apologise for”. He shakes his head scoffing as he bends down dustpan and brush in hand to clean up the glass.

🌷🌷🌷🌷

After about an hour Jacksons midwife Alison makes her way over to their house to check in, it seems the beginnings of labour are really taking their time. It’s like they always say first babies take their sweet time. Sarah’s warned that it’s ‘gonna be a long one’.

The next few hours are spent with them finding any way they can to entertain Sarah. Games of cards, they manage to get an old DVD player working and watch a classic, heck her and Maria even bake some cookies. Well, more they TRY to bake cookies, its Mainly Maria with the slightest input from Sarah when she’s not in agony. Anything to distract her from what’s to come.

The fresh batch of cookies make everyone’s mouths water. And Sarah eats four before any of the rest of them have finished one. Usually they’d tell her it’s too much too fast, that she’ll make herself sick, but anything to keep her strength up. She needs all the energy she can get even if that is helped by a sugar rush induced by freshly baked cookies.

When the pains begin to get worse, but it’s obvious it’s still going to be a long time until baby comes, they use exercise to try to move it along.

Tommy and Maria stay behind to help set the room up ready for when Sarah is ready to give birth, and Joel and Sarah decide on a walk. Joel helps to wrap her up warm, layers and layers so she will be comfortable. They take it slow walking the dark snowy streets of Jackson, lit up by strings of lights, stopping with each pain that hits.

“Oh Babygirl, what are we gonna do with you. Forever scarin’ the shit outa me.” He laughs shaking his head.

“Oh, I apologise that the birth of your grandchild is such an inconvenience.” She laughs back.

“Hey, no you take that back, I’m only jokin’.” He’s serious.

“Jeez dad so am I, God you really are on edge.”

“You bet your fucking ass I am. Takes me right back to the day you were born.”

She sighs solemnly “Was it awful?”

“Mmm, well it was awful watchin’ your mom in pain especially when there wasn’t much that I could do to help. I felt more like a nuisance than anything. But when it was all over, I’d never been so happy.”

“You and me against the world huh Daddy?”

“Babygirl, when I first held you in my arms I couldn’t stop crying, shit I was just a kid myself, I didn’t know what I was doin’, but from that day onwards I vowed to always be the best version of myself for you.”

“You’ve always been so amazing.” She smiles at him cuddling into his arm much harder.

“You had so much hair, God I’ll never forget thinkin’ I’ve never seen a baby with so much hair, and your tiny little hands and feet, you just really were perfection. The definition of perfection was born that day. My beautiful Babygirl. I knew from that day on that everything was going to be okay, I vowed to work so hard to give you the best life I could, and I know we weren’t rich, and obviously your momma decided she couldn’t cope, but I always tried to keep you happy, this end of the world bullshit makes me feel like I failed but-”

“No stop- I was always the happiest child; you don’t have to worry about failin’ me. I’ve always been so happy because of you. Even with the end of the world and everythin’ else we stayed together; we grew together. Honestly dad if I’m half the parent to this one than you’ve been for me, they’ll never want for anything!” she rubs her stomach as she briefly looks down to her bump.

“Oh, Baby you have no idea how happy it makes me feel hearin’ that.” He says his voice breaking as he evidently tries to hold back tears.

“Dad don’t cry cus you’ll make me cry.” They look to each other briefly and Sarah being so up and down hormonally, breaks at the sight of her teary-eyed father, which then sets him off too. They stop in the middle of the street to embrace. Before they both burst out laughing tears still streaming.

“Whew, emotions really are high tonight.” Joel laughs.

Sarah goes to reply but is sidetracked by a really bad pain. Instead, she leans into her dads shoulder as she groans through it. She’s grown to be very vocal as times dragged on, which Joel knows means she’s progressing as she should, but he hates everything about having to watch her go through it. He reaches to try to push on the bottom of her back, whispering to her to keep breathing and reminding her of how good she’s doing.

She eventually lets out a long breath standing straight. “I just want them to come out now. I can’t take much more of this” She groans sadly.

“I know Babygirl I know; they’re coming I promise. First babies always take their time, but it’s almost over. N’hey listen Sam would be so proud of you, you know that? He was a good kid. Y’know I never liked him at first, but he really grew on me, he was a good man to you, and I respect him so much for that. He’s gonna be lookin’ down on you so so proud” he whispers.

“I miss him, I wish he was here to help me.” She begins softly crying again.

“Shhh, I know you’re scared; I know you feel unprepared trust me I felt the same, and in a way you’re never really ready, you just learn as you do. You’ll be an expert in no time Babygirl. You’re a natural anyways, always have been with your dolls when you were younger, and you’re amazing when you help out in the nursery. Everyone says so. So, there’s none of this ‘I can’t do this’ ‘I’m not ready’ because you’re so ready. Plus, this walkin’ will really help trust me and when we get back Alison already said she’ll check you to see how far along you are, as it’s been a while, I’m sure it won’t be too much longer now.”

“I really hope so, I don’t know how much more I can take.”

“You got this Baby.” He kisses the top of her head before they link arms again and carry on walking back to the house.

🌷🌷🌷🌷

It’s another two hours till she gets to the point where she can push. They set the living room up for her ready. And she opts on squatting before the sofa as she finds that is the most comfortable position. Alison is on the floor watching between her legs waiting for the signs she can begin to push; ready to catch. Maria next to her in awe rubbing at Sarah’s lower back so that Tommy and Joel can sit on the sofa either side of her, both holding one of her hands. Unable to see anything more than her face which is just as she wants it to be.

“I feel sick.” She whimpers when in position just having got through another contraction.

“Theres a bin here ready just in case.” Maria reassures.

“A lot of ladies feel sick or even throw up when they’re in labour, it’s okay don’t be worried; all perfectly normal.” Alison states rubbing a hand up one of her legs.

“Okay. Can I have some more water?” she asks to no one in particular.

“Here Baby.” Joel is quick to grab a glass of water from the side. Sarah sits back on her heels releasing both hands she holding to take a large swig from the glass.

“Ugh.” She grimaces handing the glass back to her dad. “That’s made me feel worse, I thought it might help.” She moans.

“I’m sure it has helped baby y’bodys just goin’ through so much right now s’finding it hard, you’re fine Baby trust me.” He strokes her cheek.

She nods then briefly smiling at her dad before moaning as another pain begins. She quickly grabs both hand back and sways in her squatting position.

When she gets the all clear to push, she gives it absolutely everything she’s got, desperate for it all to be over now so she can finally meet her baby.

“Come on Babygirl!” Joel shouts.

“You got this!” Tommy shouts.

Alison counts to ten and at ten Sarah lets out a large gasp.

When She’s able to get her breath back enough to speak before the next contraction she adds “No one tell me what it is, okay? I wana see for myself when they’re in my arms.”

“That’s fine sweetie we can do that no problem, you can be the one to announce it okay?” Alison utters.

The next pain then takes over and Sarah is right back into the pushing mindset, going completely silent as she pushes and pushes. Finally releasing her breath with a gasp.

“One more and the head will be out Sarah come on, baby is nearly here.”

“Come on one more Baby and the worst is over.” Joel reassures.

“Promise?” she looks pleadingly to her dad.

“Yeah Baby, heads the worst part, the baby will be out before you know it after that.”

“Oh thank God.”

“Push with all you’ve got on this next pain! They’re almost here!” Alison enthuses.

When the next contraction begins Sarah screams the house down as she pushes, squeezing her dad and uncle’s hands to death. She feels the head pop out and Alison requests that she pants.

“Can I feel?” Sarah requests frantically between pants.

“Sure!” Alison enthuses.

She releases her dad’s hand to feel her baby’s head.

“Is that hair?” she questions.

“Yup, they’ve got a hell of a lot of it!” Alison exclaims.

“That’s just like you Baby.” Joel utters causing Sarah to look into his eyes. She smiles at him, and he smiles back. “Now gimme your hand back so you’re ready to push again.”

“No Daddy, my hands gross now.”

“I don’t care come on I’m supposed to be supportin’ you.”

She seems hesitant but when the next contraction gets into full swing, she throws her hand back at her dad and pushes. She takes a quick breath in and is advised to push again. With that final push the baby leaves her body, and she relaxes instantly.

“Good well-done Sarah! They’re gorgeous!” she exclaims as she begins wiping the screaming babies face with a clean towel. “Let’s get this cord cut so you can sit back nice and covered up whilst we wait for the afterbirth, okay? Then everyone can meet this beautiful baby.” Now the cord is white she cuts it, and Sarah carefully moves so her back is against the sofa and Maria carefully picks up the swaddled baby and places them in her arms. Alison places a sheet over her knees so she can focus on getting the afterbirth out without anyone having to see.

“Well, what have we got?” Joel whispers leaning over his daughters shoulder to coo at his beautiful grandchild screaming softly swaddled in the towel.

Sarah opens up the towel to investigate letting out a wet chuckle at her findings. “It’s a girl!” she announces excitedly.

“A girl!” Joel replies wetly, unable to stop the tears that begin to flow.

Joel is besotted.

“God she’s so beautiful Baby. Looks so much like you did too.”

“I can’t believe I did it.”

“You did amazin’.” Tommy praises. “S’like a trip down memory lane aint it, God she could be your twin Sarah aint that right big brother?”

“Absolutely.” Joel agrees.

She turns her gaze to her uncle. Then she looks to her dad. “I’m sorry if I killed your hands.”

“Nah none of that.” Tommy quicky shuts her down.

“She’s so beautiful.” Joel coos bringing a finger to stroke over his now silent and content granddaughters hand.

“You wana hold her?” Sarah whispers questioning her dad not taking her eyes off her daughter.

“Please.”

“Maria can you-?” she begins but Maria is already moving “I’m one step ahead of you” she laughs. Helping to remove the baby from Sarah’s arms to give over to Joel.

“God she’s so gorgeous” Maria coos before handing her over to Joel.

He sits back with his granddaughter cradled in his large arms.

“Oh.” He whispers quietly when her big brown eyes open to study him. “Hello beautiful girl, God just look at you. Aren’t you just the most beautiful little thing. And little do you know just how lucky you are having Sarah as your momma? You’re so lucky babygirl, just like we are all lucky to have been blessed w’you.” He shushes her when she makes a little grunt noise, but she settles quickly. “Sarah m’so proud of you she is the most beautiful little thing.”

“She’s got a name y’know dad” she jests.

“She does, well what’s that then babygirl, can’t keep calling her ‘she’ now, can we?”

“Bea. It means ‘she who brings happiness’, I read it in a book and knew instantly that that was gonna be her name if she was a girl.” Sarah utters, with a big smile plastered on her face as she looks back at her dad cradling her tiny daughter.

“Bea huh?” he chuckles wetly. “Well aint that just the most beautiful name, for the most beautiful girl.” She coos in response. Making everybody laugh. He adds “Yeah y’know it don’t you Bea Miller, you’re gorgeous just like your mama.”

“This is the best day of my life.” He adds a short while later, “’part from the day you were born of course babygirl.” He strokes Sarah’s head, and she laughs lightly before he looks at his granddaughter again.

He’s besotted, so full of love he could burst.

#joel miller #the last of us #tommy miller #pregnancy #maria the last of us #fluff #childbirth #sarah miller #family fluff #caring joel miller #upgrade to grandpa #pedro pascal character fanfic

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russosafehaven · 1 year

Text

You’re Own Your Own, Kid

Song - You’re On Your Own, Kid

Pairing: Billy Russo x GN!Reader, Cade x Peter

Content: Hades!Billy, Persephone!Reader, Melinöe!Cade, Trans Daughter Cade, Billy’s a girl dad all the way, Teen angst, Clio!Peter, Melpomene!MJ, Thalia!Ned, Auntie Dinah <3, Ares!Frank, Teen pining, Unhealthy parent child relationship due to mental health, Reader is call ma but is gender neutral beyond that, misgendering (Billy and R don’t know, it’s not in negative light)

POV: Cade’s and Billy’s

Part two to Maroon

BR Taglist: @snowkestrel @judig92

Summer went away

Still, the yearning stays

I play it cool with the best of them

I wait patiently

He’s gonna notice me

It’s okay, we’re the best of friends

Anyway

He was beautiful in the sun. The way Helios lit up his soft caramel curls and the way his eyes looked like tigers eye. I wanted him more than anything yet I couldn’t have him. Peter was my friend and would forever remain as such. His love for history and science, how passionate he was when discussing his enamour for the subject. I’d love to have him yet I could never. I was born in the wrong body, tall and lanky. Flat chest, the wrong parts and a sharp jaw. My parents don’t know, my dad would never understand and neither would ma. They both had it so easy and they still do. Hades has all they money he could ever need, he runs an empire and Persephone is the perfect trophy. Proof that beyond his hellfire exterior he is capable of love. I’ve tried to talk to Aunt Maria about it but I got scared, Uncle Frank couldn’t understand either and my cousins are never around anymore. They’re nearly a decade older anyways so what’s the point?

MJ is drawling on about some unsolved murder case while my eyes remain glued on Peter. The stray locks falling into his eyes, the colour of the flannel underneath his hoodie. If I didn’t know Aphrodite I’d think I was looking at him. No Peter is not Aphrodite but rather Clio, one of the nine muses. His friend Ned is Thalia and MJ Melpomene. You’d think they were all friends but Ned and Peter rarely spoke to MJ. She’s my friend and I’ve learnt that she’s all I need. When I look at her I know she understands my sorrow, the tragedy that I feel whenever I gaze into a mirror.

“You’re gawking at Peter again aren’t you? Cadie just go and talk to him, he’s not eye candy yknow?”

My eyes darted to MJ as she spoke and my face heated up. Ever since my dads incident she’s felt like the only person I could talk to. Things have been shared that I’d never dare share with anyone, not even my twin Renata. MJ has become my only confidante and my biggest supporter. It’s depressing in a way, that I’d rather open to a muse opposed to my family. However that’s life, the dreadful mortal life I’ve been thrust into.

I hear it in your voice

You’re smoking with your boys

I touch my phone as if it’s your face

I didn’t choose this town

I dream of getting out

There’s just one who could make me stay

All my days

Anvil was a mess, it has been ever since the break-in. Rawlin’s had once again tried to assassinate Frank and I, it was getting worse. Neither of us knew what to do, the only hope I had was Persephone but they were busy with Renata and Cade’s homecoming. Times like this I wanted my spouse besides me, I wanted to hear Y/N tell me it would all be okay, feel their breath against my neck while they comforted me.

“Bill, Y/N just called. Something ‘bout Cade getting suspended”

I let out a small ‘Shit’ and launch out of my chair. Pushing past Frank I beeline for the elevator, David steps out greeting me but I don’t stop. Not when my son’s in trouble. My phone starts to ring and I pick up immediately, flagging down my car and getting out as fast as I can.

“Hey baby,”

Times like these I hate working so far from Midtown Tech. Although it’s rare for either of the twins to get in trouble. Renata is, in her brothers words, the it girl and Cade is a model student. Always studying.

“I’m on my way to the high-school now. Frankie let me know you called”

From their breathing I can tell they’re uncomfortable. Everything in me wants to pull them through the phone and hold them. They don’t deserve this, my heart aches for them and I hate it.

“I don’t know why Cade’s acting like this Billy. I’m freaking out, is this why he hasn’t been talking to us? I just assumed it was typical teenage hormones. We’ve all been there, but now he’s getting into fights?! God just get here as soon as you can”

Y/N hangs up and I step on the pedal, trying to get there faster while not breaking any law. No need to add another stressor to their list. As I finally make my way through traffic and find an available parking space I dart out. Striding towards the school as fast as I can. When I get in tears are staining Y/N’s cheeks and Cade has his bag at his side.

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I waited ages to see you there

I search the parties for better bodies

Just to learn that you never cared

My dad walks in the building, face neutral but the twitch in his eye brow when he sees the state of ma indicates anger. He’s always let himself go when it comes to them, it’s a sick and twisted relationship. He’ll punch anyone who hurts them and they’ll both get off on the violence. The whimpers and cries can sometimes be heard through the walls in the apartment.

“Hey baby, come here. We’re gonna speak to the principal and sort this out. As for you, you’re gonna want to talk about what the hell happened here? You going ‘round punching people now? ‘Cause that shit ain’t okay”

Billy’s was seething and I could see it in the way he held himself. Everything mattered when it came to his reputation. Not me, I’m just a fucking award to them. It’s all everyone says so it has to be true. They never wanted kids, either of them. Aunt Maria, Uncle Frank, Lisa and Junior, even Uncle Curt have all said it. Renata can’t see it but I’ve heard what they say, we’re just pawns in their game of house.

“I was defending myself”

I grumbled out, not like he’d care. As soon as something happens it’s always my fault. A harsh rule taught from a young age. The world we live in is a horror show and I hate it.

“There’s better ways to solve things than violence honey”

Y/N’s voice was softer than Billy’s. It makes you wonder how a hard-ass like him ended up with them. They’re the complete opposite of each other. Ones all soft and round while the others harsh with sharp edges. A square and a circle don’t fit with each other yet they make it work.

“Flash attacked first ma!”

I couldn’t think, anger was the only thing on my mind. I didn’t know exactly why I was mad, maybe because I got called a slur again, maybe because I can’t talk to my parents or maybe it’s because I should be dead. We all have ghosts but not all of us are the ghosts.

You’re on your own kid

You always have been

After we managed to talk the principal down from an expulsion to just a two week suspension we all headed home. Picking Renata up early by Y/N’s suggestion. The car was filled with tension and anyone could feel it.

“Baby we need to talk eventually, we’re both here to listen”

They were so gentle when dealing with our kids. Even though 15 years ago they put them through excruciating agony. I wanted to be them more than anything. Envious, that’s what I was. Of the way they could nurture them even when they didn’t want it, they could do anything and I was so fucking jealous.

“You wouldn’t get it, no one does. I’ve been feeling this way for months and the only person that sees it is MJ”

A sigh escaped my lips, we were stuck in traffic and everyone was on edge. Seph looked at me, the tears on their cheeks were dry but their eyes were still glassy.

“Let me tell you a story Cade,”

They placed a hand on my thigh, rubbing it gently to remind me they were there.

“I have two sisters that are younger than me. Two of us were adopted, one of us wasn’t. I’ve no doubt you’ve heard of my sisters, Trish Walker and Jessica Jones. Better known as Calliope and Dionysus. Trish’s mother, Dorothy or Mnemosyne, adopted Jess and I as a publicity stunt. Jessica was in a car crash when she was around 12, her entire family died and she was meant to as well,”

A tap on the thigh.

“However Jessica was a reincarnation of a long standing deity. She could hold a lot more than a mortal body could. When she discovered her abilities at the Walker’s apartment, she swore Trish to secrecy. That was until she punched Dorothy into a wall when she was hurting Trish. Understandably so, Trish was mad. Anyone would be, the way we’re raised is to be quiet about abuse. So to this day Trish has never told anyone what she’s been through. No one but Jessica, myself and Billy. Now you and your sister know. When I turned 18 I went to college to study law, that’s right, I’m a lawyer. I studied at Columbia alongside your Uncle Matt and Uncle Foggy. Matt had a girlfriend in college, Elektra. She had a rough childhood that led her to not understand love. It’s true Elektra loved Matt wholeheartedly, I’ve seen it and it’s love as if they were blessed by Aphrodite. However because Elektra wasn’t raised to be open, to show affection she showed it in odd ways. So instead of flowers she got Matt the chance to kill the man who helped kill his father. It was when Matt realised Elektra wasn’t good for him, that she needed help beyond his own abilities,”

A small pinch to my stomach.

“My point is we’ve all been through a lot. You and your sister may be my kids but I will never know everything about you, not unless you let me in”

I see the great escape

So long, Daisy May

I picked the petals, he loves me not

Something different bloomed

Writing in my room

I play my songs in the parking lot

I’ll run away

When we got into the building and up to the penthouse I spared no expense racing to my room. I couldn’t handle being around them right now. They were meant to be mad, they were meant to hate me and throw me out.

What feels like hours pass until I hear a knock at my door. When I don’t answer it opens and my dad walks in. He’s changed out of his suit into sweatpants and one of my ma’s shirts. At this rate they just share a closet, it’s sickening. He walks over to my bed and sits down, the weight causing me to dip down.

“I’m not good at the emotions shit like your ma. So I’m gonna cut to the chase. I could give less of a shit whether you punched that kid or not, sure I don’t want you to be violent but I’d be a hypocrite if I said it was wrong. As a kid I wasn’t great, I was an asshole. Made life hell at the group home, foster families passed me ‘round but I’d end up at the home anyway. When I aged out and became a Marine, met your Uncle Frankie? I felt like I belonged. The violence… shit I craved it. I made lieutenant, I was a soldier and a damn good one. I uh… worked for this illegal operation, Cerberus. The guy was CIA and when you’re shipped out you don’t think about if what you’re doing is right or not. When I found out about the drugs Frankie and I both got out. We started Anvil, gave other military folk a way back to society after they come back. The CIA guy? Well he was pissed, he went quiet for a few years thanks to your Aunt Dinah who had gotten enough proof to make him go under. That was when you were four Cade. That shit I did? It ain’t ever gonna go away and I don’t want that path for you. I never wanted kids, didn’t wanna be like my ma who walked out on me. Wanted drugs more than me. When Y/N told me they were pregnant I was over the moon, I didn’t know why but when I held you and your sister in my arms I realised why. I got the family I always wanted. Which is why I’ve been away so much, you, Renata and your ma are the most important things in the world to me. Rawlins is back and I’d rather die than let him hurt you. The accident was a car one, it was an explosion I got caught in”

Foster home? No that wasn’t right. Billy was unimaginably rich, he was meant to have lived a good life as a kid. Was that a lie I had built up in my head? Fuck I’m a horrible person.

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I called a taxi to take me there

I search a party in better bodies

Just to find that my dreams aren’t rare

It’s the night of homecoming and Y/N is styling Ren’s hair while I watch. Cade is off in his room with MJ who had come by earlier so they could get ready together.

“My baby’s all grown up, ugh how I wish I had a homecoming”

At that I see Renata’s ears perk up. I’d only just told her I grew up in foster care after I told her brother a month ago. It made me realise just how little the kids truly know about our pasts.

“What do you mean?”

A small chuckle escapes their lips and they pull back the wild curls from Renata’s head. I watch as the press a small kiss to her forehead, nuzzling in like a cat to their kitten.

“I was adopted when I was 12. Homeschooled ever since. I didn’t get your high-school experience which is why it was so important to me and your pa that you two got the best money could buy. Billy and I grew up pretty poor, even when Dorothy adopted me I didn’t have access to that money. Jess and I were publicity stunts, not children”

A small frown crosses Ren’s lips and she turns around to hug Y/N. I snap a quick picture of the two, setting a mental note to make it my wallpaper. Fifty years ago I thought I was gonna join the marines and die, now I’m here with a lovely spouse, two gorgeous kids, two brothers and the best family I could have ever asked for. I’ll protect them until I die.

“Hey ma, could you… come here…?”

Cade’s voice calls from his room. They tag me into Ren’s hair and walk off to help him. As I get to the chair she’s sitting in I pick up the brush. One thing I’ve never let any of my men know is that I can do my daughters hair. As I run the bristles through her hair I pull it into a ponytail, just like Maria taught me. Leaving a chunk out I tie the majority of it into a bun. Pinning it securely while making sure it didn’t hurt her. With the left over chunk I tie it into a loose plait and use it to cover the base of the bun. When I look in the mirror to admire the work Ren turns around, hugging me tightly and thanking me. Small clacks of heels can be heard and I turn around to see Cade in a deep purple dress with matching heels, ones I brought for Y/N.

“Billy, Cade has something to tell us”

There’s some tears in his eyes and I walk over to the couch, sitting down and beckoning him to join.

“Dad-“

He chokes out, sobbing lightly. I look up to Y/N and they nod, MJ by their side giving me a thumbs up accompanied with a death stair.

“I know… that I was born a boy but… I- I don’t think I am”

I raise an eye brow in confusion, waiting to see if my hunch is correct. This wasn’t my area of expertise.

“I’m trans.. I’m- I’m a girl”

He- She’s still crying and on instinct I pull her into my chest. Holding her closely and rubbing her hair, the same way Y/N always comforted me.

“Baby girl I’m so proud of you for telling me that”

She pulls apart from me, looking up with a sad smile. I hate that she looks shocked and I can’t help but blame myself for it. It wasn’t always made clear that I wouldn’t have had a problem with it. I should’ve been more open but even fifteen years of practice can’t undo thirty six years of the way I’ve lived.

“You.. you called me baby girl..?”

I let out a small chuckle and presses my lips to her forehead.

“Yup, because that’s what you just told me isn’t it? That you’re my baby girl? So that means tomorrow we’re going out and buying you whatever you need, we’ll get you on hormones and whatever else you want. But for now we need you up and at ‘em because you’re going to homecoming”

She let out a loud laugh and I kissed her cheek. I stood up and pulled her with me, rounding up the three strays in the apartment. Together we all headed down to the parking garage, climbing in my Wraith so I could take them to the school. Traffic was lighter for once and we made it to the school in record time.

You’re on your own kid

You always have been

I was at the punch bowl with MJ and Peter walked up to us. My face couldn’t stop itself from heating up as I look at him. He looks gorgeous in that suit.

“Hey Cade, awesome dress man”

Ned calls out, grabbing a glass of punch. I stiffen up and Peter noticed.

“Are you not a boy..? Oh my god you’re trans aren’t you?”

He whispered the last part and I nodded. It was weird to be able to come out without being scared my parents would find out.

“That explains your dad’s facebook post…”

Ned muttered and I raised an eyebrow at him. He pulls out his phone and opens to Billy’s account. The post reads:

“Today marks the day my son died. May he rest in peace forever and always. I’m glad she was able to tell me the truth. Cade will always be my beautiful girl”

I felt my eyes involuntarily roll and Peter burst out laughing. A few people gave us weird looks but in the moment I didn’t mind. My dad accepted me, I was talking to Peter and MJ was here.

“For an ex-marine and a CEO your dad still acts like a dad,”

Peter comments and I smile at him. It feels right.

“I’m glad I’m not the only trans person in school now. Wait is that why you punched Flash? Oh my god you’re awesome Cade!”

He’s cute when he rambles. I’m smiling like a foolish school girl in love. In my peripheral I can see Ned and MJ chatting. Peter goes to open his mouth again and before he can bullets ring out. One pierces my stomach, I fall to the ground and collapse instantly. Trying to stand up I’m kicked down again. As I turn around to see who it’s a bald man with one eye a milky white. I scramble to my feet and try to run.

From sprinkler splashes to fireplace ashes

I gave my blood, sweat and tears for this

I hosted parties and starved my body

Like I’d be saved by a perfect kiss

My feet are carrying themselves to the bleachers, where my bag was. I had brought it just in case I ended up sitting in the corner all night, ripping it open I pull out a KA-BAR. Something my dad made me carry in case of danger. Pulling it from its case I launch it into the man before he grabs me.

“THE FIRE ALARM, SOMEONE PULL THE FIRE ALARM”

I call out wildly, if it’s pulled authorities will come and then it’ll be safe. Students are cowering under the bleachers and trying to avoid the rain of bullets. The man I’ve stabbed had a gun on him and I take it from the holster. Taking the safety off I run back down the bleachers, aiming it at one of the men who’s attacking Betty. Pulling the trigger I watch as it rips into him. I don’t hesitate to pull it again when he doesn’t stop. From behind me someone grabs me and I force the KA-BAR into their thigh, twisting it as I pull it back around.

Soon enough the fire department are here and I’m sitting in an ambulance with a shock blanket wrapped around me. Peter’s sitting with me talking about some scientist in order to distract me.

Flash is walking up to us and I feel nauseous. He’s the last face I wanted to see tonight.

“The fuck was that Cade? You some secret vigilante”

Before Peter or I can respond my dad shows up. Scaring Flash off without a word. I smile, knowing he’s there now.

The jokes weren’t funny I took the money

My friends from home don’t know what to say

I looked around in a blood-soaked gown

And I saw something they can’t take away

Her dress is covered in a deep crimson as is her body and I can’t help but know some of it is hers. Without second thought I pull her towards me and press a bunch of kisses to her forehead. I hate that I let Rawlin’s get to her.

“Where’s ma?”

I chuckle lightly. Even after she’s been attacked she’s always looking out for others. I kneel down and place my hands on her legs. Holding her as if she’s going to disappear.

“They’ve gone to find Ren, none of that baby. What happened to you?”

She smiled at me, the beautiful trademark Cade smile. Frankie used to say that she got it off of me and the mischievous twinkle in her eyes confirms it.

“I heard the bullets and I was attacked by a guy with a milky eye. So I run to get my KA-BAR and stab him before he can attack me again. Then I take his gun and shoot down a guy attacking one of my classmates. I was so scared daddy”

She falls onto my shoulder and a hand comes up to her hair. Brushing the dark locks with my fingers. When I heard there was an attack at the high-school I was terrified. Pulling our attention away Madani taps me on the shoulder.

“Thought you might wanna know that Rawlin’s is going away for life, no parole”

She smirks at me and I hug her. Back when she first tried to get Rawlin’s he had almost killed the Castle’s instead. Then the Liebermans. Thankfully no families died but he got away. It killed Madani because she knew the dangers and felt guilty.

“Aunt Dinah? Why are you here?”

Dinah pokes around behind me, saying hi to her new niece. The two have a conversation and Y/N joins me, Ren by their side. It’s been one hell of a night but they’re safe now. That’s all that matters.

‘Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned

Everything you lose is a step you take

So make the friendship bracelets

Take the moment and taste it

You’ve got no reason to be afraid

I’m running through the halls of Anvil with Peter. It’s empty due to it being a public holiday but my dad had work so I invited Peter to join me. Since homecoming we’d started dating, I’d gotten on hormones and I’d even grown my hair out. Long enough that it flew behind me when I passed him.

“Be careful you two, if either if you get hurt May and Y/N are gonna kill me”

I hear my dad call out and I can’t help but catch a glimpse of his wrist as I run past his office. A green and black bracelet sits around his wrist, one Peter made for him. After he and I started dating they’d been made for our entire friend group, grey and purple for MJ, yellow and orange for Ned, pink and white for me, then red and blue for himself. He’d even made some for May, Billy, Y/N and Ren. A aqua and orange one for May, green and black for Billy, maroon and red for Y/N and purple and blue for Ren. Since dad had gotten his he’d tied it on and never taken it off.

Peter crashed into me from behind and we rolled through the floor. We both burst out laughing and he crawled up to my face, kissing me passionately. These last few months have been hell but maybe Im not alone anymore… maybe I don’t have to be. If they’ve taught me anything it’s that we all have ghosts. We either live with them or we ignore them, suffering the consequences. Ghosts aren’t bad, they may not be good either but it’s better to face it. Before anyone gets hurt.

You’re on your own kid

You always have been

You’re on your own kid

Yeah you can face this

#billy russo #billy russo imagine #billy russo x reader #the punisher imagine #billy russo fluff #ben barnes #the punisher #x reader #billy russo angst #frank castle

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presdestigatto · 3 months

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🏎️💨 THE FORMULA 1 TAG GAME! 🏎️💨:

tagged by @solaireverie thank u bestie 🫶🐈

1. Who or what got you into F1?

so in 2018 my brother got an xbox and in 2022 f122 (?) was added to the game pass, he developed motorsport brainrot and would not stop blabbing to me about it 😽 then he mansplained the SG grand prix to me, i surprisingly found it interesting, and here i am

i think also i saw Seb trending on here in late 2022 and that made me more ‘aware’ of f1, in the sense that Seb was one of the few drivers i did know before, so there was some weird attachment there. there was a period of time where i stopped tuning in to the SG races (busy + covid) so that got me paying attention again

2. Who was the very first F1 driver you supported? Do you support them now? Have your opinions on them differed or stayed the same since then?

Ohhhh Charles Leclerc 🎊🎶 pretty much the same, i find the narrative around his career very compelling, i like his driving and he’s a cool guy

someone once asked me “did you just choose the first guy you saw on the TV” and honestly, if i think about it. Yeah. he was the first driver i saw when we switched on the race broadcast.

3. Who’s your current favourite F1 driver?

Charles! if Seb makes a return then it’ll be him, but i’m assuming this means current drivers only.

4. Is there a driver pairing or pairings you support? What made you attracted to that pairing in the first place?

my roman empire Sebchal…

Charles was the driver i liked and Seb was the driver i knew from my childhood so i was curious about the connection. i’m a big fan of the maturity with which they handled their off-track relationship; tbh my opinions of them as teammates purely-racing wise are mixed, but they’re also my two all-time favourites so my fondness gets amplified when they’re together

5. Do your parents, siblings or relatives have a favourite driver?

Well. my brother is a Lewis fan, my uncle is also a Lewis fan. from 2025 we’ll be an all Ferrari family 😮‍💨

my uncle has Lewis and Valterri’s driver cards and art prints of Coulthard and Barichello’s helmets in his house haha

6. Do you have any favourite races? Are there any that stand out to you the most?

Hockenheim 2019 and Hungaroring 2015!

i think Turkey 2010 also stands out in my memory thanks to arguably one of the funniest crashes in Seb’s career and the subsequent w2w between Jenson and Lewis.

7. Do you have a favourite circuit? Can be from the past or from the current calendar

Sepang, the incline is cool i hope they bring it back

8. Have you ever been to an F1 race in real life? Feel free to tell us your experience going to one if you like.

no money 😚😚 i could attend the SG GP but i heard you can’t see much, and tbh, the sg races are kind of snoozefests…

9. Have you ever met an F1 driver in real life?

nope! the idea of it scares me honestly. i may cry if I see seb in the flesh

10. Do you have a favourite F1 car? If so, what is it?

rb6 my speedy but unreliable queen

11. Do you have a favourite one win wonder?

i probably haven’t been watching long enough to have one

12. Do you have any favourite quotes from the F1 world? This can either be inspirational or hilarious.

i’m kind of obsessed with everything seb has ever said, particularly these:

“you, asking what happened at the start? // you came in like a torpedo” (rip kyvat)

“we have to remember these days. because there is no guarantee that they will last forever.” ♥️

also quite fond of Charles’ “it’s like this”, but hope we hear it less in 2024 🤞

tagging @verstappenclerc @baiuzennsenn @leqclerc @norrisgp @monacodarling if yall haven’t done it already!! (if u have, sorry 🫡) ++ anyone who wants to

#tag games

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toinfinitywinning · 15 days

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Dear IVIg—I’m still thankful you’re an option but youuu suck.

🤞🏼If it doesn’t help the only other known option to help relieve Pain THAT WE KNOW OF (@⁨Mom⁩ I want to make sure u saw how I phrased this b/c of confusion last time LOL) until something else is I guess figured out is to see my neurologist in Cincy Who spoke to Serena (Williams) for my migraines and finally have to do Botox which I believe might be her last option for me as well. I mean it is possible things in Life will not be healable and that’s just what I have to tell myself. I have to stay realistic and positive at the same time —some ppl might feel differently. That’s why I’ve told ppl to pls not tell me I’m going to heal or get better. It isn’t about the gesture, I know, and have thanked ppl for meaning well. But, we, you, research has no idea. Hope. You can Hope for me but it’s too hard to hear what might never happen. Now if it was strep—barring something really bad, yea. But similarly I can’t answer people when they ask me what I’m taking for it. Or if there is a cure. So, in my eyes look at it like any other disease that’s been researched w/o a cure for decades. And COVID is very very young. I think ab as old as one of my nephews, 5 yrs. so that means as I’m sure u have already figured out on your Own that’s all the research we got. So far my body doesn’t take to any of it. It doesn’t take to many medicines either. Like at all. And that being the hard Truth I’ve had to think about how much dueling with Meds and doctors I want to do. And I told Mom the other Day i may want to Stop trying things (wait.) b/c there is actually nothing else to do. No really. That is not me giving up. It’s stopping; knowing that for now this is what we have. I’ve exhausted what is known to possibly help and I’m exhausted trying until there’s something else. It is finally resting in the fact that I can rest in the fact knowing for now I can do it. But im exhausted and all u all R too! Again sounds dramatic and it is, but I will not be a Lab mouse or statistic or trial forever. I helped research for over 2 years. And somebody got LHC a week after me Who contributed to it too. And when I say nothing has helped. That is not a Gentry like exaggeration. It’s simply sadly true. I get pockets without Pain or a migraine bandaged w/ Tylenol. At first I didn’t have to swallow that. I was not this bad at first. And having almost Pain driven hallucinations some nights is all I need to experience to make that Choice.

So, I’m giving this IVIg a really Good “shot” and the Botox if needed and continue to try what we’re doing rn and then I will live knowing I can escape for a short period of time sometimes so not to take that for granted and I truly might be one of those ppl whose Family member stays on the back of the bulletin. They’re saturated with it. I remember being little at church drawing on that back page of the bulletin and wondering why ppl just stayed there forever. I thought it was a mistake or a running Tab idk. Didn’t get it. It’s not funny but yk. I just never—no kid, anyone holding to only shreds Left of innocence ever thinks it will be them, but there is so much more we will never see on the back of one for so many other things. I like those people.

Resting in rest could be Good. Any advice on how to do that?

PS Dad and Mom not many 70 yo’s can do what you’re doing to help so Cool your jets 🤣ツ . Let me count the ways. Later.

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rosalyn51 · 2 years

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Awards Special Issue

This article is published in The Hollywood Reporter's Emmys Special Issue: TV Movie, Limited Series, Anthology this week (June 9, 2022)

Bringing a Hollywood Icon Back to Life

MATTHEW GOODE DONNED PLENTY OF POLYESTER AND COUNTLESS PAIRS OF LARGE-FRAMED SUNGLASSES TO PORTRAY ROBERT EVANS IN THE PARAMOUNT+ LIMITED SERIES THE OFFER

by Jason Diamond

Transforming yourself into a Hollywood icon is one thing, but for Matthew Goode to really pull off playing Robert Evans — a titan of 1970s cinema who helped make some of the biggest movies in history happen — he had to go all-in. It wasn’t just the suits and the late Paramount producer’s penchant for cool eyewear; the British Goode had to perfect Evans’ smoothed down New York accent and deep tone in order to sound just like the guy who helped reshape cinema forever in Paramount+’s The Offer. The limited series tells the tall Hollywood tale of how Evans — along with Albert Ruddy, Mario Puzo, Francis Ford Coppola and a number of other film luminaries — helped take The Godfather from a successful novel to one of the most important films ever made. Goode spoke with THR about how his wardrobe (and many pairs of glasses) helped him embody the infamous film executive.

Did you ever get to meet Robert Evans when he was alive?

No, I never did. I spoke to a few people who did and some who knew him really well. I found out recently that I was in the same place as him once — we were in the same cinema screening, [2009’s] A Single Man, but I would never have thought, “There’s Bob Evans. I’ll go meet him.” Even if I had known it, I don’t think I would’ve gone up to him. I think I’d have scurried away.

He had this unmistakable voice, a very specific way of speaking that was fast, but easy to understand, peppered with cool phrases and Yiddishims. How did you get it so right?

It was rather terrifying, I can assure you, when Dexter [Fletcher, executive producer] said, “Do you want to do it?” I was like, “Oh Lord.” I knew who he was, obviously, I saw The Kid Stays in the Picture [the 2002 documentary based on Evans’ 1994 memoir] when it came out, and I just thought what a brilliant program that was, but I didn’t want to listen to that voice because that’s his future. That’s him in his 70s, and rhythms change. I got on YouTube and found some amazing interviews from the 1970s, which I subsequently went on to watch hundreds of times. I think I had about a month and a half from when I was asked to do it to my first day [of filming]. That’s a really lovely amount of time to get your teeth into. I did that slightly embarrassing thing of putting myself on tape and looking at his physicality and certain gestures that he used. I’m was also bearing in mind that when someone’s giving an interview, they’re presenting a different side of themselves. This project focuses on a time when his life is slightly more haywire, so I got to — to quote Spinal Tap — turn it up to 11.

Evans’ Beverly Hills mansion was sold in 2020. Did you have an opportunity to see it when you were in L.A.?

I did! Well, not in the way that I’d hoped. I went to Armani to be fitted for a suit for a premiere, and as I finished, I was like, “Bob lived not far from here. I’ve got nothing else to do today. I’m going to walk from here up to his house. It’s a lovely walk.” I don’t know what I was thinking. I [thought] maybe there’d be a housekeeper or something. I obviously knew he was dead, but maybe somebody would take pity on me and let me in. I just wanted to see the pool. It would be nice to have a view of where the great man lived. There was a nice foreman there who came down to the gate. I was like, “Any chance I could, uh, come in and have a look at the pool?” I think if I’d been Brad Pitt or someone with a huge stature, they might have been OK, but they were like, “Who’s this weird English bloke?” They didn’t let me in. But I offered up a couple of words to [Evans], and then I thought, “Why am I talking to a dead man?” And then I promptly left and walked home.

Something I appreciate about The Offer is the attention to detail, especially all the famous L.A. locations like Musso & Frank or Chateau Marmont. Did you get to spend time in any of those spots?

We couldn’t actually film at Chateau Marmont because of ongoing disputes between the staff and [hotel management], which is a shame, although I thought [the production designers] mocked it up rather well. I went to the Polo Lounge. That was, you know, a bit of research. I know it’s changed over time; it’s too modern in there, so we couldn’t film there. We filmed at Musso & Frank, which is wonderful. I think I went out four times in several months [of filming], and that was one of the places. I was like, I’ve got to come back here cause I keep hearing about how when they make a martini, you get a little jug of it on the side. Who doesn’t want extra martini?

Those martinis can put a big man on the floor.

Yes, they will. They’ll sneak up on you.

The wardrobe department did an incredible job dressing you as Evans. Did you have any input, or did you just let them do their jobs?

I think I only have input when you feel that something isn’t going the way you would expect or what you had envisioned. It was a lot of polyester — the ’70s was not necessarily the most comfortable era. But it was brilliant. They found some Yves Saint Laurent shirts, I don’t know where they got hold of them, but they were exactly the same ones that Bob would’ve worn. They had a double button at the top and four buttons down the [wrist]. It was so highly starched, after about three days my fingers were bleeding. And then, obviously, they brought out 20 pairs of glasses as well. They asked, “Which ones do you want to use? And I was like, “I think we should just use all of them.”

You do have a nice variety of eyewear on the show.

Yeah. We get through quite a lot. There are a couple of scenes where I was like, “This has a bit more gravitas, so [the glasses should be] a bit more serious.” I did stick to the classic black pairs, but I had a lot of fun every day with Dusty, who was in charge of the props. I would often go, “What do you reckon today, Dusty?”

You’ve played Charles Ryder in Brideshead Revisited and a lawyer on The Good Wife. You’ve been on The Crown and Downton Abbey, and now you’ve played Robert Evans. Who is your best-dressed character?

I had a lot of people ask where I got that jumper when I was playing Uncle Charlie in Stoker — I had this mustard jumper and suddenly that was all anybody was talking about. And Charles was pretty well-dressed, but I’m getting to the age now where I forget what the hell I’ve been in. I’d have to IMDb myself, which would be a terrifying thing to do.

You mentioned you said a few words to the spirit of Evans when you went to his house …

It sounds a bit silly when you say it like that, but yes.

No, it’s lovely. If you had a chance to talk with him right now, what would you ask Robert Evans after getting to play him?

For his forgiveness.

Do you think you’d get along?

I think we’d bond. He’d tell me that I should have sat out in the sun a bit more to really get a better tan.

Interview edited for length and clarity.

#Emmys #FYC

The Hollywood Reporter Emmys Special Issue: TV Movie, Limited Series, Anthology this week (June 9, 2022) Front Cover

#matthew goode #a discovery of witches #henry talbot #downton abbey #the crown netflix #the good wife #finn polmar #matthewgoode #the offer #the offer tv series #downton abbey movie #emmys 2022 #fyc #hollywood icon #robert evans

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horromcom · 2 years

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elaborating on earlier when i was talking abt the wasted potential barry carried im mainly talking in regards to his redemption/post-coma writing. not saying his pre-coma portrayal was perfect by any means, i still got some problems w it, but in comparison he feels leagues more well-utilized as a character

idk how to explain it but it kinda feels like the writers dont know WHAT to do w him anymore. like a barry redemption has the potential to be so complex and dynamic and could lead to soooo many fun ideas and episodes and potential plot threads and so many new angles to explore but the writers just dont do ANYTHING INTERESTING WITH IT (avgn voice) WHAT WERE THEY THINKINGGGG??

like ok 11x4 was. fine. still has some MAJOR glaring issues that make me foam at the mouth, but on its own its alright for the most part, i still revisit it a lot and if i dont think abt it too much its fun. 12x8 on the other hand was where it all falls apart for me

like i’ll never forget how excited i was for that ep thinking it was gonna tackle at least some of the cool new potential themes and ideas his character now carries like YES ITS HAPPENING WE’RE WINNING WAHOOO YIPPEEEE .. and then they completely botched it. like i cant say they didnt try, the ep did have some good ideas but the way it was all executed was sooo :/ disappointing and boring and surface-level and tbh kinda felt shoehorned in for a quick easy source of conflict and drama rather than being naturally developed over the course of his arc to the point where it almost feels like an afterthought and its all just so FRUSTRATINGGGG. (shrek image) they didnt even follow up on the events of 11x4. sucks especially bc this episode was shaping up to be one of my favs ever and then it actually aired and it was the worst night of my entire life hate and violence on planet earth. and it honestly has me extremely worried for future seasons too bc on one hand im scared his death’s gonna stick and the end of his arc will be whatevr the hell that was,, but on the other im scared he’ll come back and the writers will continue to butcher his character the way they’re doin. idk which is scarier AAAAA. like maybe they’ll surprise me maybe they’ll fix the problems i have and do something fun and new with him im trying so hard to stay optimistic. but my hopes aren’t high at all. the bar is at the earths core. yes im sooo excited for s13 yippee yay. yes im also shaking like a wet lil dog whenever i think abt how its almost here bc my poor blorbo might get massacred further

also the ‘doesnt get enough screen time’ slot that i checked off plays into the wasted potential angle too. like i think prior to the coma seasons the amount he got was fine (i def wouldnt complain if he had more but for what he got yeah it works) but post-coma i think the whole ‘once a season’ thing doesnt work anymore now that they’ve taken him in this new direction that requires more focus and care to develop. like i said abt how 12x8 felt rly rushed with barry’s whole deal feeling like it was tossed in without much forethought, i think that wouldnt have been so much of a problem if he were allowed more episodes prior to DO ANYTHING to establish his character growth and new motives/ideals and relationships/dynamics with the rest of the team and his clear struggles with recovery and how having archer back in the picture is affecting him and MY GOD. archer fx staff give him some filler episodes RAT NAO IM SO SRS and i know im yelling at clouds here bc i doubt this is something they’re gonna work on in future seasons considering they’re prob gonna stick to the 8 ep structure forever now which means less time to build on their side characters which drives me so mad and also another thing why have him apart of the team at all if ur not gonna do ANYTHINGGGG WITH HIM WHATS THE POINT THEN like if u for some reason cant feature him in too many eps then at least make up an excuse as to where he is or SOMETHING to affirm hes an established team member like the show claims like is he apart of the agency or not HELLO IS ANYONE THERE CAN ANYONE HEAR ME ITS SO DARK AND COLD IN HERE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE HELP MEEEE

where am i going w this what am i talking abt im running on three hours of sleep here im not crazy i just want my babygirl sweet angel darling honeypie to have good writing and a meaningful well-realized arc and fun interesting relationship dynamics and character complexity/depth and actual thought and attention put into his development SO SO BAD I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE AUUUGHH AUUAHAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (DATS ME YELLIN)

#IF NONE OF THIS MAKES ANY GOD DAMN SENSE DONT WORRY ABT IT im half asleep. didnt even mean for this turn into a vent #someday i’ll like actually detail all the things wrong w his writing and then you’ll ALL SEE but for now yeah. this shows frustrating </3 #prayer circle for his writing to be good in s13 or im killing the hostages #👻.evp #long post #mutuals watching me go insane over this man like why don’t u barry urself in some bitches

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ewanmitchellcrumbs · 21 days

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Hi Ange!!! ✨

Ahh jumping on this game train because this ask game is so cool. Stealing some titles from songs, what would you do for “War of Hearts”, “Don’t Go Insane”, or “Meant to be Yours”? (You can choose one or all, I just couldn’t decide since they all sounded interesting!)

I hope you’ve been well, I feel like I haven’t stopped by in forever 😩 I got really busy all of a sudden, but think of you often!! I got a new job that I’m really nervous but so excited about! I’ve always wanted to be a bartender bc I think they’re so cool, so I’m excited but it’s also a lot especially dealing with people that aren’t always the nicest. But I have terrible terrible social anxiety, so I think it’s kinda helping me work through that in a way even if i’m kinda being thrown into the fire every now and then. 😵‍💫

How are you doing? I hope life has been treating you kindly! And that you’re getting a break every now and then. How is work? Please stay safe and healthy, much much love to you, Ange!! 🩶🩶🩶

-Hannah Montana anon.

Hey, love!

I will pop my response under a cut, as it will be a long one!

For the ask game:

War of Hearts - I'd do an angsty Aemond fic for this one. Aemond is deeply in love with his wife, but goes off to war and in the ensuing chaos, also falls in love with Alys. His wife finds out via correspondence from Daemon and is heartbroken. Aemomd dies before he ever gets a chance to explain that he loved them both and never meant to hurt her. She travels to Harrenhal to seek answers from Alys and the pair learn they aren't enemies, just victims of awful circumstances beyond their control.

Don't Go Insane - I would do an academic rivals Michael Gavey fic for this one - but completely one sided. A girl on Michael's course gets consistently better feedback and marks than him and it makes him irate, as he can't understand why. When he finally decides to confront her about it, she's unaware of who he even is, which annoys him even more.

Meant to Be Yours - I'd do a Tom Bennett fic for this one. Tom is stationed on the HMS Exeter with the boyfriend of a girl he's been sleeping with and is secretly in love with. He has to watch as he receives letters from her, while she's also writing to him too, and him having to listen to her boyfriend talk about how he plans to propose when they return slowly makes him more and more jealous.

That's so exciting about the new job, congratulations! I'm sure you'll do great. I am wishing you all the luck!

This week is kind of a nightmare for me - we have a house inspection tomorrow, so I have been busy preparing for that. I also have to go into the office on Thursday, and we're going on holiday on Sunday, so I feel like I'm watching all of the sand rapidly trickle out of my hourglass. I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed and not enjoying not having any time for myself! Trying to find the time and motivation to write is hard.

Trying to look ahead to the holiday though, and how fun that will be! Plus things will be considerably calmer once we get home.

Sending lots of love to you! Let me know how the new job is going xoxo

#asked and answered #hannah montana anon

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sassyandclassy94 · 1 year

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AH I'm so excited for you to be getting to know him! I feel like I haven't had a crush in forever so def living vicariously. It's fun noticing all the little things. Hmmm do you think he likes you back? Have you told your family how you feel? Have you ever dated anyone before? Has he? What would be your perfect first date?

Thank you!!! It is a rather exciting journey - an emotional roller coaster too but for the most part it is super exciting.

Oh yes I’m almost 99% positive that he likes me back! He gave me his number back in August and ever since we’ve been texting each other regularly (we take turns initiating the first texts too), and since September he’s been at my house 9 times and whenever he hangs out at my house, he stays till the very last second! Sunday night he was here until 10:35/10:40ish - I spent seven hours with him, maybe 8 and half if you count the time I spent with him at church. It was such a good day. He also commented on the denim jacket I was wearing Sunday… which I think is a good thing? OH! And back in December, he went out of state for his brother’s wedding and he texted me the entire week he was gone😱 He also recently mentioned that he remembered what month we had our first real conversation (it was April!) and what it was about!! (I asked him how his trip to Alaska was and said how Alaska is the top state I hope to visit some day). I’m trying to think of more examples🤔 Both my dad and best friend’s husband told me they’ve caught him sneaking glances during our game nights and OH!! Two weeks ago after youth group!! I was turned just so while I was talking to the top Bible club leader, and when Isaiah came up the stairs he caught eye contact with me, raised his eyebrows at me, and grinned! It was so cute! And the Sunday before Christmas!!! Cantata Sunday!! That was the first time I had seen him since before his brother’s wedding (it felt like so much longer than a week😭 I missed him so much!!) I told him I missed him, blah blah blah, and then when we were finishing up our chat he said, “It was nice to see you! Will you be here later for the cantata?” I said yeah cause my sister’s in it! He said “Well I’ll see you then then!” And then later that evening, after the cantata, he talked to me for a good long while😭 We even got talking about weddings, lol!! (My bestie told me that men don’t really talk about those things with girls they’re not that interested in so, POSITIVE SIGN!! And most recently, I had a really bad week at work and I’m trying to get a job elsewhere and he was SO helpful and encouraging about the whole thing. He really seemed to care about me and my well-being so there’s that too! So yeah! I’d say it’s an almost-sure thing that Isaiah does in fact lioe me back!

Yes, my family does know about my feelings for him - my middle sister was the first to know from the start. And they’re all cool about it! My family loves him and Isaiah honestly blends right in with my family! And k think they’re all starting to get really excited about the whole thing being that he’s been showing more blatant signs that he likes me :)

I do not know if he’s ever dated anyone before… we haven’t really talked about that kind of thing yet. If a certain source is to be reliable (which I can’t say for sure), he’s been burned by other girls before and he hasn’t had an actual girlfriend before. As for me, I have never had a boyfriend before - not even a real life crush! If we turn out to be endgame, Isaiah will be my first and only.

Hmmm… I think my idea of the perfect first date would be bowling! I’ve never gone before but he’s mentioned he loves it and has suggested I give it a try. So, if he ever gets around to asking me out, I feel like bowling will be the thing. So there ya have it! I hope I answered all your questions! I’m super flattered that you’ve taken an interest in my love life🥰 Sometimes I feel like I’m boring everyone with how much I want to and do talk about it/him. So it means a lot to me that you’ve taken an interest :)

#Ask Abby #the crush chronicles #personal

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silkiemae · 2 years

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Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare

Clockwork Princess by Cassandra Clare My rating: 3 of 5 stars I want to start this review by saying that strengthening beef tea sounds AWFUL. This is an incredibly scatterbrained review; I’m sorry. I took random notes as I read, and it’s going to make not a lick of sense but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ I have some questions about werewolves in this universe. So they believe lycanthropy is some demon disease or something, and you must be bitten to become a werewolf. But it also seems like they can control their shifts and do half changes after some time. So here’s my question. What happens if a werewolf is half shifted and bites someone or claws someone like Woolsey clawed Will? Can that person get infected? Or can they only be infected on a full moon or when the werewolf is entirely shifted? Also, can werewolves have werewolf babies???? It is quite possible that this was answered back in City of Bones, but that was like six books ago. Sorry but I love that Isabelle’s demon-sensing ruby pendant was passed down through the family as a gift from Magnus to Will. And now he’s dating Alec. That’s one of the reasons I enjoy this whole universe. I think it’s cool to see how things interconnect, but I wish I would’ve kept up to date on this when I first read it because there are so MANY of them. It’s like watching the Arrowverse shows in chronological order, which is something I have done—twice. Why, you ask? Because I like to torture myself. Don’t even ask me how many times I’ve watched the MCU chronologically. OH, TESSA, YESSSSS. “I have come to realize something about novels. That they are not true.” You have no idea how much joy this brings me because it annoyed the living shit out of me when Tessa would correct people based on what she’d read out of fictional novels. I am so proud of you, girl. You’ve come so far. Woolsey Scott can get run over repeatedly by a horse-drawn carriage, that is all. He doesn’t understand the point of women…PAH. You would not exist without women, you ugly little troll. Tessa can correct him all day long; I’m not even a little bit mad about it. I’d do it too. She also ended his whole life with the sickest burn ever. I like Tessa way more in this book. MELIORN, NAME DROPPP ISABELLE. YOUR FAERIE BF WAS OLD AF GROSS. Ugh, Tessa gets kidnapped by Mrs Dark, who cannot stay dead. Forever mad about how Jessamine’s character was handled. I feel like she was just thrown to the dust and killed for no reason. The fact that she returns with her hair shorn and all weak and immediately dies is so sad. And then she becomes a ghost doomed to haunt the Institute she hated forever. Also, the fact that Will gave her the Shadowhunter farewell when she was so against being a Shadowhunter. Like I know she betrayed everyone, but I feel for her. Idk. My confusion about the mechanics of the iratze continues. It could not entirely heal Gideon’s injured leg—it’s not clear exactly how it’s injured, but it was able to heal Jace’s broken arm completely?? HUH? Also, are blood replacement runes dangerous or not? They’re mentioned as dangerous when they’re thinking of giving them to Jem, but Gideon has two of them for his injured leg? I feel like the relationship between Mortmain and Will’s family was super underutilized. Cecily barely mentions it and only brings it up when it’s prudent to the plot—when she’s telling Will he’s in Cadair Idris. I want to know precisely how Will’s family connected with Mortmain. Were they old pals? Did his dad have afternoon tea with Mortmain? Did Cecily like him? Did their mom? Gideon is a himbo. He’s an awkward little himbo, and I ship and Sophie so hard. LOL, forever that the Lake Llyn in Idris is called Lake Lake The Consul randomly shifting into this sexist shit heel is super weird and incredibly frustrating to read. I can’t remember if he dies in this book, but I sincerely hope he does. Like the fact that he won’t listen to anything, Charlotte has to say, because why? Is it just because she’s a woman who’s better at things than him? This book is supposed to be third-person limited, but sometimes I think CC forgets and tells us things that the POV shouldn’t know. Like Charlotte’s POV, somehow knowing that Sophie would have smiled if her ‘heart hadn’t been pounding with the knowledge that she might have done something dreadful’ but also like this is Charlotte’s POV, so how did she know that? There are a few more instances like this towards the end, which throws me off. Sorry, this bothers me. So Jessamine told us in CP that Tessa’s parents were a shadow hunter and a demon. Okay, we don’t know the specifics, but we know this as fact. Then when Tessa finds out her father was a demon, she’s super shocked. And when Aloysius conveniently overcomes his senile mind to tell Charlotte all the missing answers, she’s shocked that Tessa’s mom was a Shadowhunter rather than Tessa being distantly related to Aloysius. Like Charlotte, you already know that Tessa’s mom is a Shadowhunter! That’s why she doesn’t have a warlock mark, my god. These people are idiots. And then Tessa acts shocked AGAIN when Mortmain tells her. Like why can no one put things together lmao? Like when Hyacinth tells Tessa the story about changelings and then shortly after Jessamine tells her what her parents were, I immediately figured it out. All the pieces were there, dammit. Like Tessa, stop being shocked that you’re half demonnnnn. You’ve known it for three books. Be more upset that a demon raped your mother! Also, why does she show no shock at the fact that she can bear children? She acted so slighted when Will made that jab at her. What is this trend of Tessa listing things she knows about people? Like girl, why are you like this? Damn, Ithuriel has had a horrible life. First imprisoned in Tessa’s clockwork Angel and then imprisoned by valentine. Poor guy. Oooh! Okay, Mortmain says Tessa can do magic, but like, WHERE?! DO SOME MAGIC, TESSA. Like dammit, I wish she had been learning to do magic from Magnus while learning how to fight. Imagine how cool she would’ve been at the end of this. I’m angry. Also, Mortmain made Tessa specifically so she could bear his babies like GROSSSSS FOREVER. Also, forever curious about Tessa’s kids now. If they have both shadow hunter blood and her warlock blood….can their kids do magic? Can they shapeshift? Can they bear runes? I have so many questions. Hi, question. How does Tessa know that Charlotte wept over Jessamine’s death when she wasn’t even there to see Jessamine die??? So Will finds Tessa, and they cry over Jem and then bone immediately afterwards. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, I imagine that when the Silent Brother saves Cecily and it’s revealed to be Jem, he was like

God, Tessa gets kidnapped AGAIN. Ugly tears at Will and Jem’s reunion. JUST KISS YOU TWO. CC really does have a habit of repeating themes in books. Aloysius, Tessa’s last remaining relative, gets killed before she finds out the truth about herself. Imogen, Jace’s last remaining relative, gets killed before he finds out the truth about herself. Also, how she killed the Inquisitor in TMI disappointed me just as much as Consul Wayland was killed in this book. I wanted him to survive so he could see Charlotte was right and have to be all bitter and resentful as she replaced him as Consul. Instead, he gets his head chopped off in the middle of his misogynistic rant. I was so underwhelmed. The villain was once again turned into jelly because an Angel killed him…. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ “How could I say farewell to you?” *sobs forever* Am I wrong for thinking that Jem and Will are in love? I’m sorry, I ship them far more than anyone else in this series. THIS IS SUCH A GOOD LINE, MAN. Did Charlotte mean to change Sophie’s name to Sophia randomly? Okay, so I will admit I 100% teared up at Jem’s goodbyes to Tessa and Will, and I teared up at Will’s death. She got me in the feels there, and I don’t even like Will that much. So kudos to you there, Cassandra. Now, here’s what I’ve got to say about the ending. What is CC’s aversion to killing off people? Like she killed Max off, yes, I know, but like he was barely a character in the books. Is it like she doesn’t want to kill off any of her mains or something? Like some throwaway Silent Brothers die in the final battle. Aloysius dies, but like that, was mimicking a previous plot in her last trilogy. The Consul dies, but again it is much like the Inquisitor’s death in the City of Glass. None of the mains die or even get hurt save for Henry, but honestly, it’s probably better for him anyway because now no one can ever ask him to leave his lab. I bet he’s pumped about all the potential inventing he can get done uninterrupted. And also, everyone gets paired off in like a perfect little happy bubble. Cecily and Gabriel get married. Sophie becomes a Shadowhunter and marries Gideon. Charlotte and Henry have a baby, and she gets to be Consul and stay in the Institute. Tessa gets to marry Will, the guy she wanted the most (don’t argue, it’s true), while Jem lives forever as a Silent Brother, then gets a Deus ex machina cure in the next trilogy, and now he and Tessa get to live happily ever after. Like….I’m surprised Brigette and Cyrus didn’t also get married. Some of my favorite lines in the book, aka the lines that are CC trying way too hard to sound old-timesy. * “But…we quarreled!” * “Is it not I.” * SHE SMILED INTO HIS EYES????!?!?!?!? View all my reviews

#clockwork princess #cassandra clare #the infernal devices #shadowhunters

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ill-skillsgard · 2 years

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Cool, Can I request a bill (aka roman godfrey) x reader, they got married through arranged marriage he doesn’t like her at first, but she keeps trying to seduce him and be like “let’s consummate our marriage”, and like whisper dirty shit into his ear while they’re not alone or whatever, so he has to put her wrongdoings to an end (smutty smut) we’re all thirsty…so yeah feel free to change the plot, and I hope you recover soon beautiful ❤️Thank u in advance.🥺 I suck at explaining tho..haha

Hello, doll. Thanks for the request! I'm feeling much better now, but I thank you for your kind words ❤️ +

For the first three weeks since the elopement, Roman regarded her as an inconvenience, a bail term with an attractive value, not a woman with emotions. She came with bank accounts, liquid stock, high-profile status, a life preserver for the company his father had built that he had subsequently driven to near ruin. The marriage was simply that—a way to dig Godfrey Industries out of financial turmoil. Nothing more.

Roman never considered marriage. No matter how clean-cut, financially stable and attractive, nobody could ever tempt Roman into joining his assets. There were too many people, and the prospect of being with but one of them forever was ludicrous. Yet, he had found himself shackled all the same.

She was quiet at first and stayed out of his way. This, Roman accepted. They had separate rooms and separate lives, and that's how Roman intended it to remain. But they were bound to cross paths at some point, and when he found himself occupying the same space as his new wife, he did his best to act like she wasn't there. And she accepted this behaviour at first, knowing Roman Godfrey hadn't requested her presence in his life, and in fact, made it clear he wished for quite the opposite.

She made the best of it.

Until he had to make requests, she stayed out of his way, and when he finally came to her with his hands open, she wielded a type of power of which he had no command.

"If you need the money, well, you'll have to make an honest woman out of me," she said.

Roman sneered. "Never fucking mind then."

He stormed out of her office, annexed in the most unused wing of the house. She smiled in his fresh absence, the scent of his cologne lingering in the air. She knew he'd be back.

A week went by, and Roman's deadline approached fast. He needed to pour a million into a project to help Godfrey Industries progress, a classic case of having to spend money to make money. Without access to her funds, Roman had no hope of seeing the project to completion. He returned to her with new terms.

"Look, the reason why we married was to keep this business alive—a business that's now forty-nine percent yours. If you have any sense, you'll write me a check and spare me the attempts at seduction."

"If you have any sense, you'll treat me like a wife instead of acting like a snivelling money-grubbing worm. You're Roman Godfrey, are you not?"

"Yes."

"Then fucking act like it."

"This is a partnership, not a romance. Don't get it twisted. If I fuck you, your emotions will get the best of you. We should keep this professional since we both know neither of us like each other," said Roman.

"That's where you're wrong, Mr. Godfrey. I like you a great deal. Otherwise, why would I volunteer to help your failing little business?"

"So far, you haven't helped with shit."

"You haven't held up your end of the deal."

"Am I your husband or a prostitute? You want to pay me to fuck you, is that it?"

"What other use do you have? Because it's certainly not being a provider. As far as I can see, you're a bankrupt cock on legs. You should be kissing my feet."

"Fuck you!" Roman said.

"There's the attitude that's gotten you so far in this business. Let me know how that works out for you."

With his pride coming apart piece by piece, Roman left again to throw a fit in private. He couldn't let her see him clench his fists, grind his teeth and put holes in the walls. Doing so would only solidify her superiority over him, which was already glaringly apparent.

Roman lied to his partners; told them he had the money ready. He let the facade go on until he and his new wife were invited to a dinner party. She had intercepted the invitation first and made a game out of dressing up in her finest gown and choosing a suit for Roman. Despite his displeasure, he hoped playing along with her little amusements would give him another opening to ask for the money or for their partners to bring up the subject, obligating her to cough up the finances in question.

And the dinner was a hit...For her. She was charming and elegant, and the partners and their wives all fawned over her. They barely paid any attention to Roman, who was only three cocktails deep in a silent depression and missing the questions aimed at him. Once in a while, she would lean over and whisper how great he looked in his ear and that he should smile more for their friends. Roman ignored her, inched his chair away, and pushed her hand off his thigh. She expected him to drink much more, and by the end of the night, after a round of dark chocolate pavlova, Roman was almost entirely sober.

They left the restaurant, Roman walking next to her without a peep of displeasure as she regaled him with plans for the future that had yet to reach the budding stage. This drove him to the breaking point—her smugness and presumptions, her audacity and ability to make others fall in love with her—and he grabbed her arm, pushing her against the brick wall at the side of the building.

"You're way too cocky for your own good," Roman said, his bulk squeezing the air from her chest.

"Some might say the same about you."

"Well, I'm saying it now. You made me look like a fool."

"You did that yourself. What's your problem, anyway? Does my prowess hurt your little ego? Can't stand that people like me more than you?"

In the dimness of the night, her wide eyes caught the full moon and badgered him. The diamonds dangling from her ears and neck—jewelry she had purchased herself—reminded him of all his inadequacies. In truth, Roman hated how effortless she was, that her life had come so painlessly into place while he had suffered the humiliation of financial tabloids tearing him apart and praising her. He hated that the best part of him was now a woman he barely knew. She shifted her hand between them and felt around for his partial hardness.

"Am I ugly to you, Roman?"

"No. And don't ask stupid questions. You know you're not ugly."

"Then why won't you fuck me?"

"Because I'm not ready to admit I failed."

"You didn't fail. Not yet. But, if you chase me away, you might get a taste of that failure looming over your head."

Roman touched her neck, thumb sliding up and down the column of her throat. "Maybe you're right."

"I can make your life easy if you let me."

Roman lifted her leg without another word, parting the thigh-high slit of her gown to introduce a full hardness. He gave his permission, and she wrestled open his belt to pull his length from its confines.

"I didn't wear panties," she whispered. "I had a feeling you'd come around tonight."

"Don't you just know everything?"

She giggled and petered off into a moan as Roman brushed two fingers between her legs. Velvety wetness greeted him, and he pursued it farther, parting her folds and tucking his middle finger inside of her.

"This what you want?"

"Yes, Mr. Godfrey. All I need is your cock, then I'll have everything a girl could ever dream of."

Roman wheeled her toward the car and shoved her into the backseat. He climbed over her, shut the door, and pulled her shoulders free of the straps, exposing her breasts while she shimmied her skirt up. When Roman eased inside of her, his mind finally stopped dinning with anxieties and self-doubt. For the first time in a while, he felt like himself again. Inside of a beautiful woman, Roman felt safe. And though he'd never vocalize this fact, he languished in the security.

"Fuck, that's good," Roman muttered, slamming his hips forward, drawing back, and slamming forth again.

"I wish you hadn't waited so long."

"I know. I'm an idiot."

She pulled him in and kissed his lips. "Stop it. Don't talk like that."

"How would you like me to talk then?"

"Show me what Roman Godfrey's really made of."

"Yeah? You sure about that?"

"Fuck me like one of your whores."

"No," said Roman. "I'm done with that. I have a wife now."

"Do it all the same."

"Trust me... You don't want that."

Roman pulled out, grasped the base of his cock and bounced it off her clit until she begged for penetration. Like all things in life, she reached for what she wanted and angled him back inside.

"Who knew you could fix everything with your cock?" She quipped.

Their breath and mounting body heat made Roman perspire. He shrugged out of his suit jacket, then continued thrusting, musing a little about how right she was. The car tottered back and forth, and the longer he fucked her, the higher-pitched her moans became. Others left the restaurant, noticed the black luxury car rocking, and avoided the space. Roman loved their looks of disgust and sped his motions to an assaulting velocity.

"Roman, oh my god!"

"Shut up, whore."

"Oh, I like it when you bad-mouth me like that."

"Yeah, 'cause you're a fucking slut. Greedy whore with a greedy little cunt."

The insult drove her to toy between her legs, and Roman shivered from the sight. It pushed him to the edge, and with one more moan, he spilled inside of her until it leaked out all over the leather seats and her delicate dress. When she reached down to swipe up their fluid and brought it to her lips, Roman spurted once more, and somehow his hardness didn't recede. He needed another round.

"Get on your hands and knees. I'm not done with you yet."

#roman godfrey smut #roman godfrey fanfiction #roman godfrey imagine #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skarsgard imagine

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erwinsvow · 3 years

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𝐫𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩𝐬 | 𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧

author's note: sorry i just cannot stop writing headcanons! it's my favorite thing to write. i really hope everyone enjoys these, they include things from these two works of mine as well :) -shea

𝐣𝐞𝐚𝐧 𝐤𝐢𝐫𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐢𝐧

very much the involved boyfriend

once you guys finally start dating, he just immediately wants you guys to merge lives and share friends, even though that’s not a simple process

but it’s really because he cares about you so deeply he doesn’t want there to be a part of his life that you’re just not involved in

therefore; very involved

you guys manage your schedules together and plan out dinners and dates in advance

he mostly really likes having something to look forward too, like time with you

the kind of boyfriend that remembers little stuff you say here and there

like if you mention your mom’s birthday is coming up, he’ll ask later what you’re getting her and suggest some ideas. probably would send your mom flowers too to earn brownie points

or if you have a stressful week with exams and papers, he’ll stop by randomly with coffee and a snack and a hug

i honestly don’t see jean as the kind of boyfriend to start/carry on a fight, because he would hate knowing that you two are upset with each other. so i think any fights would be resolved pretty quickly

if one did happen to go over night or last a few days, he would definitely apologize first and bring you flowers, even if you were the one who started it

honestly though, with a guy like jean, what is there to fight about

overall, just a super caring boyfriend that makes the little stuff the memorable stuff

𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐭

the! best! boyfriend! ever!

i see armin as the ideal caring boyfriend

he just really likes to have someone to take care of, and he is also really touched that someone trusts him enough to ensure their heart to him

so he takes every measure to make sure he’s being the best partner he can be

a lot of emotional sharing, and i feel like would happen pretty early on as well

only because he is so trustworthy and you know you can tell him everything on your mind, even stuff that you maybe haven’t told anyone else

this just makes your relationship progress even further. you two are the couple that has been dating for a month but knows they are going to be together for a long time

speaking of, you are the mom and the dad of the friend group, which is so adorable but calls for a lot of teasing from your friends

but armin knows he’s going to marry you one day, so he just laughs when eren cracks another joke about it

𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐮𝐧

i’ll be real, this relationship is definitely not the easiest

reiner definitely loves you, don’t get me wrong, but a big part of him probably thinks he doesn’t deserve someone like you to care about him

which isn’t easy in a relationship because i feel like he would try and distance himself from getting too attached in the beginning

maybe he just thinks you’re going to see through him and realize you don’t want this anymore (which is not true at all, but just his intrusive thoughts)

i think you would try to reassure him about your feelings and how much you want this relationship, but then he feels like you shouldn’t have to reassure him, and that you shouldn’t be in the kind of relationship where you have to reassure the person. basically he thinks you deserve someone better, and you know that there is no one better for you

eventually i think this reaches a breaking point. through a lot of angst and honesty and tears, you two finally work it out

i think after clearing things up, things take a huge turn for the better

he definitely learns that there’s nothing wrong with being a relationship where you have to take care of each other, and he’s definitely thankful that you continued to stand by him

so sorry about this angst, but on the bright side, this man would be such a devoted boyfriend

his friends definitely make fun of him for looking at you like you hung the stars and moon in the sky

i also think all this angst would lead to you two being really open and vulnerable with each other, which is really important to him

also definitely a mama’s boy and can’t wait to introduce you to her

just like armin, he knows you’re gonna be his wife someday

𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫

even though i think it would take eren a long time to settle down and commit to a healthy, long-term relationship, once he does, he would be a great boyfriend

he is a really caring guy, and i feel like part of his hesitance is about opening up to someone if they’re just gonna leave

but i think he can tell early on that this would be different

i have a feeling his love language is quality time, and so you two are always planning little things together

he especially loves last-minute, impromptu dates that arise from a random thought

like he’ll grab two sandwiches and take you to the beach at sunset, even if you just got home or had something to get done

or knock on your door at midnight and take you to the nearest roof to stargaze together

i feel like eren is the boyfriend who becomes your closest friend over time

you guys go to each other first when you need to rant or talk or babble endlessly

it’s an interesting dynamic but it works well for you guys

the kind of bf that people assume he’s a single bachelor and will stay that way forever, or people don’t believe that he’s settled down, and then when they see you two together they’re shocked

𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐨 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭

you and marco have the most wholesome relationship

if i had to picture anyone whose relationship feels like the honeymoon phase even after a whole year, it is marco

he has a habit of making every small date, every meeting or interaction just feel so special, like every day is a special occasion

the kind of boyfriend who gets you a promise ring early on with every intention of replacing it with an engagement ring and wedding band one day

a big moment for him is introducing you to his friends! he knows they’ll love you, and he just wants you to meet the other most important people in his life

especially you and jean, this boy would be on cloud nine seeing you two get along so well. makes him super happy and teary-eyed

the responsible bf who takes care of everything for you, even little, everyday things so you don’t have to worry about it

like making sure there’s a cup of water on the nightstand when you go to bed, or setting an extra alarm to make sure you don’t oversleep, or reminding you about a deadline

overall just <3 boyfriend marco

𝐥𝐞𝐯𝐢 𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐧

the nonchalant, cool boyfriend who has to hide how sappy he actually is

pretends like he’s not nervous as all hell on your first date. acts like you leaning into him on the walk back home, or kissing his cheek at your doorstep before you say good night isn’t giving him heart palpitations.

also majorly touch-starved. after you two really open up to each other, which happens way sooner than he expected, it’s hard for him to keep his hands away from you.

he’s reserved in public, a simple arm around you waist or hands interlaced while you guys are out

but when you’re in the privacy of your home, it’s almost instinctual for him to pull you close

he loves when you lay your head on his chest, but nothing compares to when you let him lay his head on yours.

you stroke his hair and sit in silence, appreciating the quiet mumble of the television and the sound of each other breathing

always falls asleep like this, and he’s never been much of a nap guy, but ever since he met you, he’s reformed

not to mention your skin is always so warm and soft, and his is always on the colder side, so he’s just drawn to you

also i see him as the kind of guy who proposes out of nowhere, like you aren’t expecting it at all after a quiet dinner together at home, you’re getting up to grab dessert and he pulls out a ring

“how about dessert and naps for as long as we both shall live?”

𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐜𝐨 𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐝

once again, pock tries to put on a tough facade but we all know he’s just a softie on the inside

in fact, it’s a little while into your relationship that you notice him softening up with you, trying less hard to seem like someone else and getting more comfortable around you

you definitely don’t mention it, because you don’t want him to realize how you’ve been noticing it lately, but it definitely makes your chest feel warm and fuzzy at the thought of him being more himself

it’s not long at all before you can’t even see any semblance of that tough guy you met for the first time

the kind of whipped boyfriend that carries your bags when you go shopping, grabs your coffee order on the way to visit you, and likes to have quiet nights in more than going out

your favorite memories with him include watching rom-coms and munching on popcorn in his apartment, everyone else out and about on a saturday night

the leftover pizza is sitting on the counter, and you turn to go put it away when you notice pock teary-eyed at the movie!

yes, this boy cries at sappy romantic movies and you regret ever putting on the notebook that one night because you wanted to get laid after and that just did not happen because he was crying too much

but also just treats you so right and has every intention of being the best boyfriend he can, doesn’t ever want to do anything to hurt you and is highkey very glad he met you and has someone to be so open and comfortable with!

𝐛𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐭 𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫

can you spell boyfriend material.

the most comforting, wholesome boyfriend in the world. you actually can’t believe he’s single when you guys meet for the first time, because there’s just no way.

this is the take him home to meet your parents guy, introduce him to your friends right away guy because you know it’s serious

i talked about how bertholdt is the bf who just listens to your talks and rambles for as long as you need to, and always offers advice and sweet words, but he really does take it to the next level

lets you cry it out when you need to, rubbing your back and hair softly and not minding when his shirt is covered in tears

or alternatively lets you rant about your annoying professor or a terribly rude stranger or whatever else is plaguing your mind today

texts you every day asking how you’re doing, always calls you before bed if you guys aren’t together

he just has the ability to make you feel so heard and seen

and of course you never forget to take care of him, as well. it makes for a really comfortable dynamic.

very easy to imagine spending the rest of your life with him despite the fact that he has kicked you off the bed multiple times in his sleep

𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐡

alternatively, husband material

takes all of five minutes into having a conversation with him to realize this is a responsible, mature guy

which are usually far and few between

i’d like to think he’s similar to marco in the way that he likes to make sure things are taken care for you, he likes to get things off of your shoulders even though you feel like you should be doing it for him instead

this translates to a lot of checking in phone calls, making sure you’ve eaten dinner and haven’t skipped meals because of your busy schedule

always makes time for you and especially loves having date nights every saturday, it’s wonderful when you haven’t been able to see him all week

anyways, you get engaged and married so fast bc you just had to snatch him up

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sugarbooger513 · 3 years

Text

Mine (Stepbrother!ChosoxFem!Reader)

This is my collaboration piece for @severelytalentless Are You Afraid of the Dark collab! I had a lot of fun writing this... work. I hope you guys enjoy it! Thank you to my very amazing friends who helped me out during this piece, especially my wifey @kentosovertime and my bestie @roughwithfluff. It wouldn't have ended up as well written as it did without the help.

Warnings: stepcest, possessive nature, unprotected sex (wrap your willies), oral (fem receiving), spit, Choso slaps reader in the face like once, he also slaps in another place, daddy kink, dom Choso, Choso is very petty, mentions of cheating ex, mentions of alcohol and nicotine consumption, degradation, praise, slight breeding kink if you squint

"Don't bother calling me anymore! I see what's more important to you.." You hang up your cell phone and throw it across the room. Your bed feels colder than it usually does, but you lay on it anyways, allowing your tears to flow onto your pillow.

Your boyfriend, now ex, of two years had called you with a plea, begging for your forgiveness. How could you forgive him, though? When you heard about your best friend sleeping with him, you couldn't get the image out of your head. You knew she thought he was attractive, but there was never a worry in your mind that either of them would take it anywhere.

You sit up, suddenly realizing that he would be on his way home from work in an hour, maybe two. You had to leave before he got home. It wasn't like you feared he would hurt you for leaving him, but he would certainly try to guilt you into staying with him.

Your heart rate increases when you realize that you have no idea where you can go. He knows all of your family, and is pretty loved by all of them. Your stepmom even has the habit of calling him her son. 'Her son...'

You rush to grab your phone, dialing the all too familiar number. If there's one person in your family you can call, it's the one he's scared of.

"Y/N," your step brother lets out a long yawn after answering, "what's up?" "B-bubs.." You can hear him drop something on his end. "Honey, why are you crying?" "He.. he cheated on me.. with her.. you were right.."

Choso bites the inside of his cheek, suddenly enraged at the thought. He never liked that guy. When they first met, Choso punched him in the jaw for being an asshole. You were mad at him at the time, but eventually understood why he did it. Since then, your ex was too scared to look Choso in the eyes.

Still, he now finds himself smiling.

"I'm so sorry, honey. Is there anything I can do?" Your sniffle makes him clench his fist. "He's going.. to be home s-soon." "Drive over here. I'll set up the guest-" "C-can you get me..? I don't want him tracking my car.."

Your pitiful voice goes straight to his crotch. Even though no one else is at his home, he finds himself trying to conceal his half hard cock with the kitchen counter.

"Of course, honey. Pack a bag. I'll be there in twenty." "I-I love you, Choso.. thank you." He has to bite his lip to keep from moaning. "I love you too, honey."

When he hangs up, he groans loudly and places his head on the cool marble. "Okay," he talks to himself aloud, "just.. keep yourself in control. You got this, Choso. She's your step sister, for Christ's sake." He shakes his head, grabbing his keys.

Still, he can't deny the things you do to him. It makes him feel terrible, but you're so damn tempting. He always figured that your hugs would last a little too long, your eyes scanned him a little too much, your hands lingered on him a little too suggestively.

He knew better, though. Your teenage years were spent on tons of dates with guys who were the complete opposite of your stepbrother. He would sit in his bedroom, no doubt on a video game, while he listened to guy after guy go in and out of your bedroom. It wasn't like you were a whore.

Those guys just eventually showed their true colors.

He knows that when you love, you love with your entire heart. That's why he was there for you through every heartbreak. He would hold you for hours, dry your tears with his own shirts, make you your favorite snacks, take you on long walks so you weren't cooped in the house all day.

Why? Well, because in his mind you already belonged to him.

You pace your living room, already holding your overnight bag in your hand. Of course, you'll probably stay with Choso more than one night, unless your dad tells you to stay with him and your stepmom instead.

Who are you kidding? If Choso offers to let you stay longer, you would much rather stay there.

Your front door opens, and you jump in fear that your ex came back early. "Shhh, honey it's me." "C-Cho.." Choso walks across the room in quick strides to pull you into his strong embrace.

His hands gently cradle you against his body. "He doesn't deserve your tears Y/N. Don't give him the satisfaction." "Y-you tell me that after every breakup, Choso.." "I know. That's because none of them deserve your kindness."

You close your eyes and feel yourself relax in his strong arms. He's never let you down. Choso has been the only guy in your life to prove he would always be there for you. You truly trust him with your life.

That being said, you can't ignore the feelings that have formed over the years for your stepbrother.

Your fingers grip his shirt in an attempt to pull him even closer to you. He sighs softly and buries his face in your hair. "Is there anything I can do for you, Y/N?" "Just... don't leave me. Please?"

His heart pounds in his chest at your feeble plea. His throat seems to dry, so he can't manage to speak. Finally, after what feels like an hour, he clears his throat.

"You know I won't, Y/N. I never have." "And never will?" His large hands squeeze your body a bit harshly, but your breath only increases at the feeling.

"I never will. Now, why don't we get you loaded into the car and get you home?" You finally pull away, blinking your still teary eyes at him so innocently. "Home..?"

The look on your face has his body on fire. You look so damn innocent, just like an angel. They're still red and puffy from your crying, but that only has him straining in his pants.

The things he would give to take the innocence from your face this second..

"Of course. My home is yours for as long as you need." He jingles his keys in an attempt for you to hurry and follow.

"What.. what about as long as I want..?"

That sentence has him blushing furiously. He looks at you with a raised eyebrow.

"Of course. You're family and I love you, so my home is yours. We should go though. I don't want to-" His sentence is cut short when you wrap your small arms around his frame.

"Cho.. you're the only person in my life that cares this much.." "Don't say that, princess. You know that isn't true." His large hands are so gentle as they rub your back comfortingly. The small action has your heart pounding.

It also has your core burning for more.

"I-I want to stay with you." "Princess, then why are we still here?" There's a hint of laughter in his teasing tone. "I mean.. stay with you." You bury your face in his broad chest, hoping desperately that he gets the hint.

And oh boy does he ever. He can't help the small groan that escapes his throat at the mere thought.

"Y/N.. you don't mean that." You finally look up, shocked at the tint of rosiness on his usually pale cheeks.

"I-I do mean it.. You're the only guy who has ever-" "I'm family." "Not blood. D-Don't act like you don't feel the same Choso!" His eyes widen, and your accusation has him backing away from you, causing your hope to falter. Had you been mistaken this entire time? Had the stares and lingering touches really just been his own way of showing platonic affection.

"Choso.. I-" "Am I truly that obvious, Y/N?" You blink once, twice before giggling softly. "Y-yeah.. have I not been?" "No. Your.. attention always seemed to be on others. I just assumed.. you saw me as your big brother." You shake your head, walking slowly to stand directly in front of him again.

You've always thought his eyes were gorgeous, a slight grey tint over the almost golden color, they truly are their own unique shade, but right now they seem even brighter.

"I.. I was scared. People would.. call us freaks if anything came of any attraction to each other. I mean.. we've known forever that we weren't related, but our parents have been married-" "Going on ten years now. Even dated for five years before that. Trust me," his hand reaches to touch your cheek gently, as if he's afraid he could break you, "I've been bouncing the pros and cons in my head for so many fucking years."

Your cheek fits so easily in his palm, as if it was made to be there. "So.. who gives a damn about the cons anymore?" His eyes darken at your words, suddenly not focused on your gaze, but your lips. "I don't think I do, Princess." He suddenly turns the two of you, pressing your body into the wall that was originally behind him.

His lips hover centimeters over yours, making you whimper pathetically. "Tell me what you want. I'll give it to you, Y/N." His lips turn at the corners, making the already handsome guy seem even more so. Your hands reach out, gripping the loose t-shirt he's wearing tightly. "I-I need you, Cho. P-please?"

"Well, why don't we take this little.. fiasco to my place?" "No." He tilts his head in confusion as you smirk. "Fuck me on his bed.. onii-chan."

His lips are on yours the instant that word leaves your mouth. Despite the fact you're almost certain that Choso doesn't know what lip balm is, his lips are so plush and soft. It catches you off guard, causing you to moan softly in his mouth.

He isn't shy about exploring your body either. His hands grab every bit of plushness they can. Your hips, thighs, ass, until he finally reaches your breasts. His hands squeeze them harshly, not caring about any actual pain he could bring. You gasp in the kiss, which allows his tongue to finally invade your mouth, easily taking over as the dominant one.

He tastes faintly of cheap wine and cigarettes, but that doesn't shock you. You've spent multiple nights in his room smoking and drinking after rough breakups.

You have to smack at his shoulder a few times before he pulls away, leaving a strand of saliva connecting the two of you. He lets out a deep growl before grabbing your arm to yank you upstairs.

He kicks the bedroom door open, not caring about possibly busting the damn thing. "I have waited for so fucking long," he shoves you onto the queen sized bed that you once shared with your ex, "to have you all to myself. Now that I have you..." He pulls the shirt over his head, causing your eyes to shamelessly wander over his toned body. He catches your gaze, causing him to lick his bottom lip in anticipation. "Oh I am never letting you out of my grasp now, little one."

You sit up and, without a second thought, throw your shirt off and into the floor. "A bit possessive, are we?" He chuckles a bit darkly. "I don't see you complaining. Besides," he rips your pants off in one fluid motion, purring at the dark spot already staining your panties, "it seems you know who you belong to." His head is almost instantly between your legs, his hands shoving your thighs open effortlessly.

He licks a long stripe up your covered slit, causing you to mewl. "Go ahead, princess, tell me exactly who owns you." This time he places a small kiss just over your clit. "F-fuck, you!" "Hmmm," his hand comes down to smack your pussy with an unnecessary amount of force. "Not good enough. Try again." He lands another smack, this one making tears prick your eyes.

"W-what do y-you want-" you cry out as he lands two more smacks on you. The pain is startling at first, but it quickly has you moaning in pleasure. "How about that fun little nickname you've given so many men that have entered your bedroom?" You squeak, making him chuckle. "Oh come on, there's no way you thought I never heard you. Always had the fucking nerve," another smack, this one even harder, "to cry out for other men while I was in my bedroom dreaming of making those pretty eyes cry in my bed. Come on, call me that sweet little name and I'll fuck you better than any of those assholes could have."

The last smack has you screaming, and you can't seem to care that any of your neighbors could hear. "D-Daddy! Y-You own me! I-it's always been you, I swear daddy! P-Please fuck me, I-I need it!"

He groans loudly before ripping your panties from your body. "I'll have to remember that you beg beautifully once I get you home." Two of his fingers spread you apart, and he smirks at the puddle of essence already pooling on the bed. "So fucking wet for me, aren't you?" He doesn't give you a chance to answer before he buries his face in you, eating you out like a man starved.

The sudden onslaught of pleasure makes you try and clamp your thighs closed, but one of his hands shoves it back down. His eyes look up at you as he continues to lap at your drooling pussy. The stare speaks every word he can't at the moment.

This is for his pleasure, not yours, and you're meant to lay back and take what he's giving you.

Your fingers tangle in his raven hair, and the slight pain has him growling against you. His lips wrap around your throbbing clit, sucking harshly, and he shoves two fingers into you without any warning.

You knew beforehand that Choso had slept with at least a few women, so he's not inexperienced, but you never knew that he was this experienced. His long fingers curl into you, pushing against the spot that has you screaming his name to the heavens. He has to rut against your mattress in a desperate attempt to get some sort of relief.

"D-Daddy.. I-I'm g-gonna cum.." He could already tell. Your walls sucked his fingers in as soon as they entered you, so he knew you wouldn't last much longer. "Hmmm," his sharp teeth nip your clit gently, but it still makes you squeak, "I sure hope you aren't telling daddy what you're going to do.. That would be awfully rude of you, little one."

The sheer dominance and control radiating from him has your eyes rolling in the back of your head. Since when was your sweet step brother so demanding? "C-can I please cum, daddy? I-It feels t-too good.." You feel that damn smirk against your clit. "Of course, baby. Just scream my name when you do it, okay?"

He really must not like you talking much, because he doesn't let you answer him before he starts ruthlessly pounding his fingers into your cunt. Your entire body arches from the bed as you cry out for him. It takes one last flick of his tongue on your swollen bud to have you writing in the bed, coming completely undone before he even pulled his pants off.

He slows down, but doesn't completely stop, allowing you to ride out your high as he uses his tongue to lap up every drop of sweetness pouring from you. "Good girl, I've got you sweetheart. Are you feeling up for more, or do you need to stop until we go home?"

He sits up, eyeballing your form as he licks his lips clean, ignoring the fact he's dripping your own cum from his chin onto you.

You giggle, still a bit spaced out from the intense orgasm. "W-want you.. inside me, please daddy?" He chuckles softly before reaching to finally unhook your bra and fling it to the side. "Of course baby. Where are your condoms?" "D-Don't have any. I'm on.. the pill." His cheeks flush a bit, but he doesn't question anything else.

He makes quick work of his sweatpants, leaving him in only his boxers. The outline of his cock alone has you snapping back to reality. When he pulls the boxers down, you outwardly moan when it slaps back against his abdomen. He's much bigger than any guy you've had before. Also, it's so.. pretty.

The shaft is a lot like the rest of his skin, a very pale color that almost shines if sunlight hits it. The head is a soft pink, very reminiscent of the blushes he always seemed to get if you teased him too much, with droplets of precum around it. A large vein runs from the underside of it, and you can see it actually throb the more he stares at you.

"See something you like, love?" You whimper at the very affectionate nickname. "I-is it going to fit? I mean.. I've never.." "Don't worry, little one," he gently lays you back, "daddy will get it to fit. If it hurts too much, just let me know. Okay?" he grabs one of your exes' pillows, placing it gently under your lower back. "O-okay, daddy. I trust you."

His smile warms your heart. "That's my good girl. Spread your legs for me." You nod, following his instructions immediately. His hand reaches between the two of you, grabbing his cock and gently rubbing the tip around your entrance. "You sure you want this, Y/N? I don't want you to feel forced." You whimper, nodding instantly. "P-please fuck me, Choso.. I've waited so long.." You spread your legs more, effortlessly enticing him.

When his tip enters you, you're already a moaning mess. It just feels too good. He watches your expressions intently as he slowly pushes into you, searching for any signs of discomfort. Once he's about halfway in, he stops completely.

"How you doin' baby? Any pain?" He leans down to give you a gentle kiss. "G-good. I-it kinda burns, but nothing bad, I promise." He smiles against your mouth and starts to push in again. "We're almost there, little one. Just- fuuuuck." He finally bottoms out, the stretch of it making you whimper loudly and wiggle around. He pants on your face, the scent of you still heavy on his breath.

"S-so fucking tight.. can't believe this is happening..”

He chuckles softly, giving a tentative thrust into your heat. You bite down on your lip, finding both pain and pleasure in the burn that courses through your body. "D-daddy-" He cuts off the rest of your sentence by leaning back onto his knees and grabbing the back of both of your thighs. He manhandles you easily into what you can only assume is a mating press.

"So easy to throw around, aren't you? My pretty baby.." He pulls out of you until only his tip is still inside before slamming back in, causing you to see stars. "You take cock like a pro, baby. I wasn't sure a cute little thing like you could handle it." You tighten around him at his foul language, causing him to growl. "I'm gonna ruin you for anyone else, baby. I'll make sure I'm the only one who can make you scream. You want that, baby? Want daddy to fuck the imprint of his cock into your slutty little hole?"

You throw your head back and cry out for him. "P-please! Make me your little toy, daddy. W-want you to own me.. prove who I belong to, please?" You know you've done it now from the way he snarls at you. However, the sudden ringing of your phone makes both of you freeze. He leans back up to wrap your thighs around his torso.

He's the first to reach to the floor and grab it, still buried deep inside of you. "Oh, lookie there.. a video call. Hello?" Did he-

"Choso? Where is Y/N? Why do you have her phone?" Your ex's voice sounds from the speaker, making your eyes shoot open. You meet Choso's eyes, mouthing the words 'hang up' over and over.

"What does it matter? She dumped you and called me." "Of course she did. Dude, let me talk to her." Choso chuckles darkly, finally thrusting into you, making you squeak loudly despite your best effort to stay quiet.

"What was that?" "Y/N. She's currently.. held up. Or.. down, rather." He smirks at his own joke, reaching down his free hand to start circling your clit with his middle finger. The feeling has you tightening your thighs around his waist.

"You... what?" "Are you deaf and stupid? I said she's busy, aren't you little one?" He smirks down at your form, panting and shaking your head in a desperate, silent plea. This can not be how everyone finds out about this. No way in hell.

Choso's mocking pout makes your face flare up. "She seems a little shy. Let me show you instead." "N-no! Choso I-!" The choking gasp from the phone call shuts you up. Choso's eyes show no mercy as he looks at you almost amused. "That isn't what you should be calling me, is it?"

You look directly at the camera on the back of your phone, your face a deep scarlet color. Before you can correct yourself, the hand that was idly playing with your clit launches up, smacking your cheek with enough force to have your eyes switch to his. He smirks and shoves his index and middle fingers in your mouth without warning, making the ring he wears clack a bit painfully into your teeth.

"Pretty little whore just needs to learn some manners. Don't you, love?" He gets a wicked grin seeing how you blabber around his digits, trying so desperately to behave and give him an answer. "Sorry, princess, I didn't quite hear you. Try again for daddy." He shoves his fingers farther down your throat, causing you to gag and cough. Spit pours out of your kiss bruised lips, making Choso moan above you.

Your teary eyes make him pull his fingers out, wiping the spit across your face. "Why didn't you tell me you couldn't speak? Silly little girl. Now, what should you be calling me?" "D-Daddy! I'm s-so sorry.." He groans, running his thumb down your bottom lip. He gently pries your mouth open before leaning over you, letting spit fall from his tongue into your waiting mouth. He purrs as you swallow it so obediently. "I know you are. You're such a good girl for me. Oh, he hung up." Choso chuckles softly and tosses your phone back to the floor.

"I believe that I have some work to finish, right baby?" Both of his hands grab your hips, surely leaving bruises, before he starts to mercilessly ram into your sopping cunt. Your throat is still somewhat raw from his fingers being in it not two minutes ago, but he's determined to pull every sound he can from you.

He slides one hand down, harshly pinching and rolling your swollen clit between two fingers. Your cries only encourage his ruthless actions.

"D-daddy I-I.. something.. something doesn't-" Your pleas are cut off when the hand on your hip actually lifts you off the bed, giving him enough access for the tip of his cock to batter into your cervix.

If you aren't sore tomorrow, he hasn't done his job.

Sweat drips down his forehead and chest as he growls deeply. "There we go baby. T-that's the spot. Cum for daddy, want you screaming until my name is the only t-thing you know." His hand starts slapping your exposed clit again, finally throwing you over the edge. When the coil in your abdomen snaps, you scream his name, raw throat be damned.

Choso hisses as you tighten around his cock, spraying his lower abdomen in your essence. "Sh-shit I-" His sentence trails off when he thrusts into you one more time, letting out an animalistic snarl as his own climax washes over him.

You can feel his cock throb as he unloads his seed deep inside you. The feeling makes you tremble and mewl. There's so much of it that it still manages to spill out, staining the bed sheets under you.

He's still panting pretty heavily when he slides out of you, careful in case you're still too sensitive. When you squeak, he reaches up to cup your cheek. "You did so well, baby. I'm so proud of you." You nuzzle into his hand, placing a small kiss in the palm. "Th-thank you, daddy. I-I'm so tired." When your eyes start to flutter shut, he carefully stands from the bed, shamelessly admiring your disheveled state. "I'm sure you are. Let me get us cleaned up. Then I'll take you home, okay?"

Your small nod is plenty of an answer, so he rushes to the bathroom to search for a rag. He takes only a few seconds to wipe himself clean before rushing back to your side. You wince slightly at the feeling of the cloth wiping you down. "Shhhh, daddy's got you baby. I'll be done in just a second." He smiles to himself as you visibly relax into his touch, allowing him to finish.

"You know," he chuckles as he helps you pull your clothes back on, "your dad is going to try and kill me." "Your mom is going to call me every name in the book." He nods in agreement, finally starting to dress himself.

"So.. should we stay quiet? I imagine shit-for-brain isn't going to, but we can play that off as him being an idiot." You bite your lip, weighing the consequences of either decision.

There's no doubt in your mind, you want to be with Choso. It's clear he's willing to do whatever you want, but from the look in his eyes, the answer is obvious.

"I'm not hiding it." He blinks at you in shock. "B-baby.. your repu-" You stand up, despite your legs screaming in pain. He's quick to rush over and pull you into his chest. "I don't care.. I love you, and I don't want to hide it anymore." You squeak loudly when he picks you up bridal style, holding you easily with one arm.

The kiss he gives you is soft and loving, full of nothing but his affection for you. "I love you too, Y/N. I want nothing more than to tell the world that."

He carries you downstairs to grab your overnight bag, and then out to put you in his car. He really refuses to let you do anything, since he even leans inside to buckle you up. Your protests have him laughing. "When you're with me," he kisses your lips after getting into the driver's seat, "you're the spoiled princess. Got it?"

The drive to his house is quiet. He holds your hand the entire time, stroking along it with his thumb, occasionally bringing it to his mouth and kissing each knuckle.

"Oh.. oh shit." "What?" You open your eyes from almost falling asleep.

Your blood freezes when you see what he's looking at. Your dad's car is already parked in his driveway.

Tags: @katgalle, @savonline

#dark content #stepcest tw #choso #choso jjk #jjk choso #stepbrother choso #jjk #jujutsu kaisen choso #choso kamo #choso smut #choso x reader #choso x reader smut #choso x fem reader #choso x you #choso x y/n #choso brainrot #choso supremacy

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