#this got so much fucking attention on twitter and i literally made it in 5 minutes im so mad

[stil-lindigo]

freelancer things.

#when i still lived with my parents i could make do by just talking incessantly to my dog #now i live alone and sometimes ill go for days without saying anything out loud #its so jarring asjfkldakl #i still dont know how to taaaag #comics #stillindigo art #relatable content #tm #this got so much fucking attention on twitter and i literally made it in 5 minutes im so mad

[sirfrogsworth]

I have two best friends.

Which is not an apt description.

Best friends is too small a term to describe what they are to me.

Chosen family. Ride or die. People I would drop everything for if they needed me. People I would protect with my last breath. People who know embarrassing details they will take to the grave.

Now that my mom and dad are gone, they are my lifelong companions. I trust them with my life.

I talk about Katrina all the time. But I tend to keep my friendship with Delling a little more private. I don't love either of them any more or less. There is no ranking system for my besties. But Katrina and I are basically like an old school comedy duo, so we have a lot more shenanigans to share. Shenanigans are easy content for a blog.

Delling is disabled like me. We have a lot of the same consequences from our health issues. Extreme fatigue most of all. Delling was unable to get disability benefits though, so they have to work a 9 to 5 job. And it exhausts them to the limit. They often will work and go straight to bed. If it were possible, I would talk to Delling every single day like I do with Katrina, but circumstances don't always allow for that.

So we have less shenanigans, but the same amount of love.

I'm also a little more protective of Delling at the moment. They are trans and for some reason a large portion of the "very online" people have decided to hate my best friend. And sometimes I worry about drawing attention towards Delling from the few trolls who still hate follow me.

Delling is almost always in my thoughts when I write about trans issues or argue with transphobes on Twitter. But I refuse to invoke "I HAVE A TRANS FRIEND" most of the time. For one, I don't advocate for trans people just because I have a trans friend. Though it does make the emotions I feel very intense sometimes. A lot of tears and anger. But I also don't want to sound like those conservatives who justify everything they say because they have a friend from a marginalized group.

There are certainly times people will be like, "Why would you mutilate someone and cut off healthy breasts??" and I wanna be like "Delling is much happier without boobies and I can see a huge difference since their surgery and you don't know what the fuck you are talking about with that mutilation nonsense. FIGHT ME!"

But I don't think I need to announce my bestie's private top surgery details just to win an argument on Twitter.

I'm just really happy for them and I am glad it helped. They struggled to get the surgery for so long and fought like hell to make it happen. People acting like it is this horrible thing make me so angry. When it finally happened it was... a relief. A weight lifted off their shoulders... err... chest.

After my dad died, Katrina was unable to get away from Florida to help me out. She was dealing with her disabled dog, Lucy, and her end-of-life care. That just isn't something you can ask someone else to look after for a few days. So Delling got permission to do remote work and drove down from the top of the country to help me. They came on the weekend of my dad's service and stayed a few days after to help me get the house sorted.

I'm honestly not sure I could have made it through that experience on my own. During the service, Delling just clung to my side as I tried to act normal when long-lost relatives offered similar grief platitudes over and over. And I kept introducing Delling and saying they were from the wrong state for some reason. I do actually know where Delling lives, but I guess my brain was not functioning in that situation.

Delling also helped me finish my eulogy literally hours before I gave it. And they helped me print out a bunch of photos of my dad that almost no one looked at. I'm so glad we spent all morning frantically doing that. *sigh* Though I'm hoping the photos will come in handy when I do an online memorial for my parents, so it was not all for naught.

There was a moment when a certain someone gave an impromptu speech at the end of the service about how she let my dad see his granddaughter for a couple of hours a year ago and how special that was, and Delling tightly squeezed my hand to help channel away my anger.

Ya know, those totally normal *yearly* visits all grandpas get to have.

Sometimes friends just know, ya know?

Delling and I also revamped the kitchen for my needs, which I have already turned into absolute chaos. And we had a fun shopping trip to Sam's where I bought tender beef jerky that was the toughest to chew jerky I've ever experienced. I guess the "tender" on the label was sarcastic.

All I know is that casually shopping with my friend was this beautiful bonding adventure where we just got to hang out and be together. It's weird the experiences that stick with you. Trying to pick out wholesale sushi with my bestie will be a treasured memory for the rest of my days. And I think that is kinda perfect in its simplicity.

There are not enough thank yous in the world for what Delling did for me. I wish they could have stayed a few months instead of a few days. I miss having them here in person. But they had a foster bunny to take care of and a job and a family. So I had to give Delling back to the top of the country.

I just wanted to write this in appreciation of my other best bestie. I love them more than anything. And I can't tell you all how special it feels to have someone who will drop everything, drive across the country (through tornado weather, no less), and keep you company during a very lonely time.

[eldritchdraaks]

Furry Visual Novel Hell

Quick context for this post, it is written by my boyfriend who has been through furry visual novel hell over the past few days. He has not been on tumblr in years, and has shitposts running through his brain daily. I’m posting this for him because his thoughts need to be made public. I love this freak.

SPOILERS FOR: Echo, Route 65, Arches, The Smoke Room, and The Burrows.

His mad ramblings begin now!

I have no idea why im typing this but I just cant let all this bounce around my head with my classes starting up in a day.

SO, after a few rather poor lifestyle choices I stayed up watching videos of furry visual novels. This little rabbit hole led me down to a familiar visual novel by the name of Echo. I’ve heard of it through a video talking about the film everything everywhere all at once. The only other form of context I had with Echo was that its creator went to make the very well proclaimed visual novel by the name of Adastra. For anyone wondering, the one of the main characters of Adastra (A black wolf named Amicus) is part of the “You have never felt the warmth of a man” starter pack as seen below

(Sidenote: I am so fucking mad literally two of the characters there are from the Echo series. These motherfuckers are everywhere)

So after that, Echo was stored somewhere in my subconscious or something. Honestly the exact sequence of events escapes me but I do know that I was watching one of Samwiz1’s videos of him dicking around as engineers,I was just going down another twitter rabbit hole. In the video, the first game he joined had a group of 5 medic bots 3 of em with names of characters from The Smoke Room, A sort of prequel to Echo. As for the twitter rabbit hole, I think hoyoverse (the company that made genshin impact) released a new game going by Zenless Zone Zero. One of the characters you could play was a big bear bastard named Ben which Eld and I immediately latched onto. A few days later, I saw that someone modded Ben into a fighting game called Guilty Gear Strive as seen below

AND GUESS WHO HE WAS FIGHTING???

That twinky lookin stoat swinging his little scythes in the gayest way you could caught my attention. Then literally a few tweets below I find this

And there he is, in the replies I found the twink in question was named CLIFFORD GOT DAMN TIBBITS???? How can you find a cuter name than Tibbits?? Not only did it reveal his name but also the visual novel he comes from called The Smoke Room. (Also the coyote in the suspenders is in the You have never felt the warmth of a man” starter pack is from The Smoke Room).

So in a misguided attempt to find it, I confused it with another visual novel that I found out was called The burrows. The Burrows was one I found myself enjoying other than the tangled fucking mess that is Echo.

So im actually going to talk about echo first.

Echo is a story about an otter named Chase who returns back to his hometown, Echo, to work on a college project on the town in 2015. Echo is a dying mining town that screams southwestern gothic with a mysterious past. Chase joins his childhood friends a native American fennec fox named Jenna, his ex boyfriend a wolf from El Salvador, a timid lynx named TJ, a blunt gila lizard named Flynn, and a ram named Carl who smokes weed to cope with his demons.

The thing that ties them together was the death of their friend Sydney. In the story a lot of paranormal shit happens regarding the town of echo, possession by ancestors, straight up cursed cryptids, murder, all on top of drama and slight hints of romance. This is a bit too much for my brain to process whatever the hell is going on. The story is a mess and I don’t think I will ever be able to process it in it’s entirety. The only characters I really like are Jenna, Carl, and TJ. God poor TJ… OK SO I WENT THROUGH ALL THE ROUTES AND JESUS FUCK I don’t think that my insanity will end anytime soon but Flynn’s route really fucked me up. Its so fucked, all you do is go around in circles AND I STILL NEVER GOT MY AWNSER IN HOW THE SMOKE ROOM LINKS INTO THIS LIKE WHY IS SAMUEL POSSESSING CHASE AND EVENTUALLY FLYNN???

WAS IT TO CONTINUE THE CYCLE OF VIOLENCE AND SECRETS THAT ECHO LIVES ON??? god its so fucked, and Flynn actually becomes the monster Jenna talks about and TJ saw the day Sydney drowned in his endless pursuit of the truth of what happened as he wanders into the mines and turns into the plug-faced monster (prolly a wendigo) Jenna mentioned. So many questions… God its so fucked Speaking of The Smoke Room…

The Smoke Room is set 100 years before Echo and focuses on the ancestors of the main cast as well as the locals of Echo in 1915. Following an Albino Mountain Lion sex worker by the name of Samuel who was trying to leave Echo, but was ambushed by the guy who was helping him and out of self defense killed him in the mine. This murder sets the town ablaze with problems as Samuel and his associates encounter something is unleashed and latches onto a guilty party.

At this point, I just looked at Clifford’s route because he is admittedly adorable but kinda stopped there.

Then while browsing other Visual Novels I found this fucking affront to god only to find out its in The Smoke Room

And holy fuck I thought it was bad on my phone but it is so much worse on my computer. Something in the mines where I think Sam, one of his closest clients a badger that goes by Nikolai and a tiger named Yao are trying to escape the deeper part of the mines or something. What’s even worse is that it looks to be made from body parts of the main cast which is so fucked up in so many ways.

Then we have Arches and Route 65. Arches follows a bear and a coyote named Devon and Cameron in the town of Echo after its been abandoned in 2015. All I know is that the Coyote gets rufied and ends up dead in the mines. Route 65 is an actual prequel looking at the main cast of Echo at a Halloween party in 2008. Don’t remember what happens in this one other than character setup. ANYWAY, echo aside now I can talk about The Burrows.

This one I know from an artist that I like going by Captain Nikko. The Burrows follows Grey, a possum living in New Orleans in 1928. On his way to commit suicide, he stops into a bar run by a round rabbit named Virgil. He makes a deal with Virgil and he gives Grey a card and after a trippy sequence of infinitely falling, he finds himself in front of his old house in a field of yellow flowers. He meets 4 other souls, Mark a Maned Fox who works in a museum in New York, Gabriel a shark training for his school’s swim relay race, Ken a panther who is a cyclist, and Yasahiro a Japanese fennec fox that is an engineer.

When they suddenly disappear with Grey crying, the card Virgil gave Grey begins to glow and 4 other cards appear. Each of them have unique designs for each character, Though only Ken Gabriel and Mark are available at the moment. Each card Zaps Grey into the future with the order being Ken (1958), Mark (1965), and Gabriel (1987). You then find out that the reason that they are linked together is suicide. Grey then becomes determined to protect the character you chose. At this point, you go through the route, make important choices that affect the outcome of the route (only in mark’s route though as of late) and grow close to who you chose. I eventually broke down and downloaded The Burrows and played through the new content of Gabriel’s route and got damn i am unashamedly attached to this man. Like, he reminds me of myself of one point body image issues, feeling useless, jovial bastard. Mark has some pretty weird vibes that he gives off, lot of questions for him that will be answered hopefully soon. Ken is just really damn mean and beats the hell outta some kid that was messing his bike up. Hiro doesn’t have a route out yet so we know next to nothing about him other than he’s working with a german engineering company and he is thinking of committing suicide.

I would totally recommend The Burrows and not for you to binge the entire Echo project saga at 4 in the damn morning.

#spoilers #echo #route 65 #arches #the smoke room #the burrows #furry #visual novel #vn

[ajramblesagain]

I feel like I’m finally starting to feel somewhat confident in who I am as a guy. I’m not on T yet but I have an appointment lined up on Thursday to talk about getting on it. But anyway, now that I’m finally confident in who I am, I’ve been running over all the blatantly obvious childhood signs I showed that I just glossed over because I refused to believe that I could be trans. For context, I was raised fairly religious and attended a private christian school through eighth grade. So, religious trauma. Yay. Anyway, without further tangents, let’s dive in because honestly it’s hilarious how transparent my closet was in hindsight.

This is going to be in no particular order because order doesn’t matter and I have adhd and keeping my thoughts in a cohesive order is hard at the best of times and I haven’t been getting enough sleep lately. Let’s begin.

First of all, I came out as trans but putting my new pronouns in my Twitter bio (my whopping total of 8 followers, I know). I honestly didn’t think anyone paid that much attention to my bio so I was actually pleasantly surprised that people seemed to pick up on it relatively quickly. One of those twitter followers, I’m gonna call them T on here, needed help running this night market thing that they organized through our college (former college I guess since neither of us are students there anymore) for our organization as a fundraiser. Anyway, T was one of the people who paid attention to the pronoun bio change and actually corrected themself and referred to me me he while I was helping during the night market thing. That alone was enough to make my entire night though obviously I wasn’t going to say anything because I’m not sure if they knew I was even within earshot or not, and I don’t talk to even my closest friends about my emotions, and me and T aren’t that close to begin with.

One of the people helping us table for the night market but for a different table just across from us, ( idk why i’m talking about the location of the tables, like it matters lol) Anywat, I’m gonna call her RM.Actually I don’t remember if it was T or RM who brought up this quiz, but anyway one of them brought up this online quiz that tells you what your dick size would be if you were born a dude. It was actually based on scientific shit so I think it’s supposed to be fairly accurate. Which sucks because I took it and I got 5 inches and I would’ve gotten 6 if I had just eaten more white fish growing up. You can’t blame me though. That shit is fucking nasty. Anyway, me and my friend, A, who was also tabling with me were like, we gotta take this test right now. And again, my memory is absolutely dogshit so I don’t remember who said this, but someone kinda jokingly said that A and I were way too excited to take the quiz, which honestly felt really validating for some reason.

Anyway, I wasn’t happy with my measely 5 inch result, especially since A got more than me and I wasn’t gonna accept that as an answer. So I was like, fine then, I’m gonna take a quiz that bases it off of the vibes I give off but I kept getting lower and lower results until I gave up because that shit was pathetic and it was lowkey getting embarrassing. Anyway, A told me that I was acting like an insecure straight man, which was a super gender affirming insult by the way, so of course I didn’t stop thinking about that for a few hours. Not even exaggerating, that’s literally how my brain works. But I exaggerated my offense at being called straight. I was like, I may be insecure but I most certainly am not straight.

That wasn’t even the highlight of the gender euphoria I felt that night. For context, I was keeping a spreadsheet of all the sales we made during the night market thing, so T messaged me later that night and asked me for the spreadsheet and so I sent it and their response was just two simple words that I’m sure they didn’t even really think about but it just lives in my mind rent free now as a constant source of gender euphoria: thanks king. I kid you not, I was fucking smiling like an idiot at my phone and would not stop thinking about being called ‘king’ for the next couple of days. King is never used as a gender neutral phrase like ‘dude’ or ‘man’ is often used as, so it just felt like T really read me as a guy, which was just a really good feeling.

Honestly this is getting kinda long and I’m getting tired so I think I’m actually gonna dive into my actual childhood signs tomorrow. If you decide to follow, just be prepared that my context is always gonna be this tangent-ridden, impulsive, unscripted stream of consciousness type shit, so be warned. I know this style of content bugs some people lol so no hard feelings. I’m just mostly doing this for me because I like to sound off into the void.

#trans guy #transmasc #gender euphoria #journal #aj rambles #trans #transgender

[souredfigs]

ALRIGHT HOTD FINALE AND OMGGG here are my tHouGHtS and spoilers ahead ofcc

❗️❗️❗️❗️

• I mean it wasn't as shocking for me coz I've read the book so I obviously knew what was about to go down but with that being said

• Emma D'Arcy I love you so much . Their acting as Rhaneyra was outstanding, life changing , freaking amazing and I am in absolute awe. The shot of Rhaneyra at the end as Daemon informs her about Luce's demise , and she turns around and just by looking at her you sense her pain and rage and how the real dotd is gonna start and shit will go down was goosebump inducing . I mean I'm by no means an expert in acting but Holy SHRIMP THAT WAS POWERFUL . WHAT A STELLAR PERFORMANCE , ONE FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS ! AND IF THEY DONT GET AN EMMY I WILL GO APESHIT BECUASE WHAT THE FUCK?

• Rhaneyra's coronation was by far my favourite scene in the episode along with Daemon singing to vermithor , absolutely beautiful and you bet I'm learning that song

• speaking of lucerys

• MY BOY

• I was dreading this moment ever since episode one and it was just all around heartbreaking , despite knowing what will happen the scene still made me sit at the edge of my bed and tense up . We will miss you king 😔

• Otto hightower , this bitch in itself is a warning

• fuck him that is all I can say

• also the fact that Alicent kept that page Rhaneyra tore and kept it safe , it even has creases in it , meaning that she opened it multiple times whenever she missed her best friend ... *screams* they were both victims of the patriarchal society they were born to and this is something I will always stand by .

• JACAERYS MY BELOVED , He was all around the best this episode , the way he confronted Daemon and stood up for his mother was so pure, and it makes me so sad thinking about what will happen to him in the end . He was too good for the world of ice and fire .

• speaking of ice and fire , I'm really excited to see my beloved the Starks and winterfell next season , the pact of ice and fire and the theory of dragon eggs being in the crypts always intrigued me

• Daemon .. I am honestly surprised most of yall were shocked , like literally everyone of the characters in hotd and in asoiaf are unhinged and need counselling. If you are looking for right vs wrong you've come to the wrong place 😭😭😭😭 wait till you read f&b 😭😭😭

• the black council scenes in which Rhaneyra constantly reminds everyone that she has a duty to preserve the realm and keep it safe from bloodshed and that her ambition isn't the only thing that matters further proves to me that she would have been an great ruler

• Even Rhaenys admits to Corlys that Rhaneyra is holding it all together and keeping the realm from dissolving into madness and destruction .

• And I think the show was good when it came to Rhaenys portrayal as well , she too was a capable intelligent woman who was robbed of her deserving position.

• overall , there are some issues I do have , but regardless of that I am so excited for season 2 , this really did heal the wounds that I have from got season 8 and hotd really brought back the once epic Game of Thrones calibre of acting , dialouge and plot . Squeezing 20+ years of storyline into 10 episodes is hard for any production I think, and they executed it so smoothly .

• the costumes and cinematography and overall attention to detail was such a delight to see , so refreshing and it really showed you how much thought and effort they put into this spinoff, unlike the shitstorm that game of thrones became from season 5 onwards . Asoiaf franchise was practically dead with the end of game of thrones , I remember how everyone pretend the finale didn't even happen and people on tumblr removed game of thrones hashtags from their profiles , twitter was fuming and the reddit page for asoiaf turned into a fan page for lotr😭😭😭😭 like everyone was thaT fed upp

• hotd Sundays are over now and the fact that I have go wait for two years ( I think) to see my psychotic war criminals again is killing me 😭

• PHEW WHAT A SEASON . ILL BE WAITING FOR THE NEXT ONE 🤌😌

SORRY FOR ANY TYPOS BESTIES

#house of the dragon #hotd spoilers #hotd season 1 #hotd season finale #the black queen #rhaneyra targaryen #jacaerys velaryon #lucerys velaryon #aemond one eye #princess rhaenys targaryen #corlys velaryon #i literally am going feral #wow #what a season #you hear that d&d? #just imagine the shit that will go down in season two #if Rhaneyra doesnt go fucking beresek in season two then i will lose it #shes in her reputation era now #and i will fully support

[basilhater]

I HATE BASIL

basil is a horrible person. he is stupid and green and his dumb little flower that he duct taped to his stupid oval head should die. i hope that he walks out of his house to throw his grandmas ashes in the lake he got thrown in and when he walks into the street he gets hit by a stray trucker. on the topic of the lake when aubrey threw him in he should have drowned. idc if its bad writing he should have died it would have been so funny i would have laugehd so hard. he deserves to be burned at the stake and they should have his ashes mixed into chili just like cartman did to his father. i hope that one day everyone in faraway just like realizes hes stupid and throws him back in the lake and he drowns becuse hes stupid and cant swim. i hope that he starts growing zaza in his garden and sunny reports him for it and he gets arrested for life and then dies in gen pop. he is so useless you could have the game without him just replace him with kel kel is so much better. also why is he green green is such a dumb color i hope that someone mistakes him for a fuckign seed and buries him alive. he is so infuriatingly ugly and i hope that he trips and falls and dies just for mthe initial impact i genuinely believe that he would because he is so weak and pasty he probably eats beans on toast every morning because he "likes the vibe of british ppl" he probably says contraversial things on twitter because he wants the attention his shitty parents never gave him. he probably had a yt channel when he was 5 and he leaked his own adress because he wanted friends but all he got was robbed. i literally think he is the worst person that has ever lives he is so dumb i hope he dies a horrible death. also watermelon basil was so so so funny like i giggled so hard i played thhe scenes where you just murdered basil like 734 times it made me laugh so hard everytime that stupid green fuck got the shit beaten out of him i litterally am sick of seeing his dumb face everywhere. if you like him go for it but i hate him.

#omori #I HATE BASIL #KYS #FUCKING KYS #I HATE YOU #I HATE IT I HATE IT #I HOPE IT DIES #BASIL HATE #BASIL HATE CLUB

[mostlikelymocha-blog]

in my demidecade away i learned a lot about humans and it’s that they’re all STUPID AND I LIKE TWITTER.

my fucking GOD.

Boy #1, the one I was writing about 5 years ago, LOL HE STILL HATES ME. AND IM PRETTY SURE HE GAY OOPS LOL. I MISS HIM SO MUCH AND HES STILL ALL I EVER THINK ABOUT. I would do anything just for him to even look at me again. I miss my best friend.

Boy #2 was boy #1 ex which I did not know when I was dating them but when I found out lowkey it felt like I was still trying to find any way to be closer and relate more to boy #1 even though he hates me :p anywho boy #2 cheated on me and then tried dating ppl who looked like me only to turn around and come crawling back 3 times and then ultimately threatening to kill themself. (I rly wanted them to go thru w it LOLLLL) they still look at my socials sometimes so unfortunately they are not dead (if they ever read this just know I only dated you to get at your friend (☝︎ ՞ਊ ՞)☝︎ and it worked LOLLLLLLL!)

Boy #3 was a rebound who ended up assaulting me kekeke. Aside from that I really felt like I could fix him. He had so much potential but ruined it. Tbh it was my fault

Boy #4 oh my G O D DO NOT EVEN GET ME STARTED. JESUS CHRIAF WOWKEAKAKAKAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAA THEY DEEPLY TRAUMATIZED MEEEEEEE HEHEHE I DESERVED IT THOUGH. I fell for boy #4 because they literally looked like a taller version of boy #2 so not only was I attracted to them, it was a marvelous way at revenge against boy #2. They were a real poopyhead, and now they get to watch me be w their replacement (๑>◡<๑)kekekeke anyway lol they assaulted me too and psychologically tortured me for about a year. Constantly demanding sexual pictures and every droplet of my attention otherwise they would threaten to kill themself ._. shEESH DRAMATIC MUCH? It’s different from me though bc I don’t pull the suicide card I just cut myself and make sure they never find out LOL ANYWAY SO YEAH THEY WERE SERIOUSLY FUCKED they literally would refuse to go home and follow me home just like boy #3 oh my god I forgot to mention BOY #3 USED TO STALK ME AFTER THE BREAKUP I SHIT YOU NOT. ANYWAY I finally escaped them after they cheated on me w their ex and their life went downhill shortly afterwards hehe

And then there was boy #5. I loved him just as deeply as boy #1, I feel like that’s why his departure hurt me so much. I loved him so deeply and he was the first to not assault me (wow! bitch you rly live like this!) but yeah. Oh my god girl tell me why he was a drug dealer and everyone knew BUT ME??? I WAS SO NAIVE???? DUDE WAS THE TOP 10% of our class so he was hella smart so the fact that the smartest person in our school wanted me was a huge flex but scary lol bc he saw my potential. Also I’ve been pooping this whole time while writing this hehe ew anyways so yeah boy #5 had a double life and aaa pretending to be a goodie goodie the first time we dated but then broke up for a while because he started spiraling and then after the breakup i spiraled too but then like a few months later we tried again and he opened up a little so I truly had faith our relationship would have worked. And honestly I still do believe that. He’s my best friend now and we still talk every day but like if he was able to show that consistency back then I would have given him a third chance. It just hurt so much not to. We broke up again because he said he didn’t know if I made him happy so I ended it. Nuff said right? But we were still friends after that. Around the time of prom I was meeting someone new, boy #6, but boy #5 knew and didn’t care. He still wanted me. He asked me to prom as friends but tried to take me as a date. He even got me flowers and everything. But I knew he was trying to trap me back with him but he was moving halfway across the state to go to college so it never would’ve worked. Dude literally bawled into my chest and clung onto me while I stroked his hair and explained why we couldn’t date again. I loved him but he could never love me in the way I need to be loved. I think I like him better as a friend but sometimes I miss it. I miss the forehead kisses and cuddling and holding his half and feeling so safe and protected. He was my big teddy bear. And it sucks it had to end but I deserved better.

Lol and now we’re onto boy #6, my current partner who’s got me

BAHAHAHAAAAAAAA THIS IS SO FREEING ITS LIKE IM 12 AGAIN god I miss it

Anyway yeah that’s what I’ve learned while I was gone :P

[emptyperspectiv]

I kinda want to share thus post to Twitter eventually, but I just wanna vent for a second if that's cool. Please totally feel free to over look this post, you have no obligation to stick around and read this. No gags, no gimics at all. Genuinely, I'm okay with this not getting any attention.

There's a couple things I've been weirdly fixated on, well a few tbh it's more than 2 things. Just yesterday, our of the blue I rembered something thay happened when I flew out for my friends wedding in 2019. When I thought parts of my life were at what I considered a peak. It wasn't but looking back on that time, in ways I'm glad I don't speak to some of these people any more, and don't really have much regret about those decisions. What really stood out the most was the fact that a group of women who got together to celebrate a mutual friend getting hitched, and the night we spent before just talking.

I actually had my sexual experiences completely invalidated, and in a way it was really humiliating. We had been discussing kinks and some of the sexual experiences we've had were. There was I wanna say one gal in particular who really went out of her way to completely make me feel small by what she said. I felt like I was told that I wasn't bisexual enough for not having a 3 way, and for not fucking friends so therefore my experiences didn't matter. And the night continued that way, I completely shut down and I'm sure no one noticed or cared. This isn't some type of oh pitty me comment, but I'm sad that I tried wining validation from someone who I don't care about, and in the grand scheme of things doesn't matter. I am valid with the things I have experienced, and I don't need to prove it by bragging about being in a 3 way with a friend. Also funny considering she convinced said married friend she was bisexual, when she wasn't and once again I was invalidated when asked my opinion and my story. She was fed up with her husband and made a biphobic joke that she she just date women knowing I'm bi. I also welcomed any venting and trauma dumping as a therapist friend until I realized that it wasn't healthy for me or our friendship to be her personal therapist. Once I made it clear I was no longer going to be a personal therapist for martial issues because working was already stressful, things came to a stop all at once. There was nothing left to be said. That's also not a good friend, at least to me and not people I want to be around. I am not here to be made small so someone else can feel better about themselves. You can tear down someone else and make homophobic remarks to someone else, while pretending not to be. I don't have the energy to really care anymore.

Which actually brought me to something that was brought up in a discord server I'm in where someone's been asking daily questions, that I've loved. They asked about seeing 5 years in the future vs going back to a specific day in the past. I chose the future over the past. As much as I would love to go back and indulge in those good days, at least rhe ones that were good, I don't think I could. Not only would it being up a lot of past trauma and feel like a massive leap backwards, but I wanna know that what I'm working towards is worth all the stress I'm feeling now. Plus, going back to the past and having the ability to change things with foresight, as tempting as it is I wouldn't change anything. I know, I know it's kinda fucked up given some of what I've shared here. I've been put in a lot of not ideal situations, more than I'd like to admit but it's helped me be the person I am now. Trust me, there's a lot of my past self I don't like. For example the past me who didn't realize thag I was actually unkind to friends, who hurt people because I was hurt, who quite literally was a piece of shit to people because of what was going on in my own life. But I learned and grew from it. Just like with what I mentioned earlier.

Lastly, I've been thinking a lot about some of the dreams I've had. They've been pretty weird but also have made me think about things I do like about myself, which is hard for me to talk about because I'm overly hard on myself and don't really realize it until I say it out loud or type it. For example, I feel like I'm really empathetic but being so empathetic has caused my emotions to get the better of me in some cases (like work). I also feel that I don't work hard enough, and when I take time off work or call out sick that I'm being a burden to my job or that someone else needs the time more than I do, besides what would I do other than sit around in the house. So because I feel that I don't work hard enough, I burn myself out to get the smallest crumb of validation that I'm doing well and that my work is proud of me for being so passionate when what I am doing is for validation.

It's weird small things, but yeah. Anywaus. This was nice to just vent since I don't really vent to anyone because I would feel like a burden and an annoyance. But thus feels good. Thanks for just letting me have a space to vent.

[planetsano]

xbox or playstation? 🎮

SYNOPSIS ✰ eren finds more interest in gaming than you, his horny girlfriend.

WARNINGS ✰ nsfw/18+, gamer au, streamer/gamer eren, very needy and horny reader, humping, sex in a gaming chair, blowjob, dirty talk, eren is kinda mean but he lets you use him to get off.

PAIRING ✰ eren yeager x female reader.

The uncomfortable throbbing and heat coming from between your legs were enough to pull you from your sleep. The dream you experienced before waking up was the cause— your boyfriend fucking you into the mattress while his large hand your face hard-pressed into the sheets as he pounded into you from behind. It was expected, Eren’s been streaming and gaming for most of the day, leaving you to fend for yourself to find your own entertainment. Usually, you didn’t mind. It was his job and how he paid rent but on this particular day you were feeling very needy and your advances were met with a dismissive ‘I’m working.’ or ‘I’m busy right now. Can’t you wait later?’

A tiny whine escaped your lips as you sat up, wiping the sleep from your hazy eyes to an empty bed. The orange light from the sunset was bleeding through the window, entering the room and coloring the walls a warm apricot color.

5:15 pm is what the digital clock sitting on the nightstand on his side of the bed read. He should be finished streaming.

The soft pitter-patter of your soft feet sounded again the cold hardwood flooring throughout the hallway as you made your way to what you like to call ‘the homewrecking room’, it’s just his workroom but maybe you’re a little bit of a drama queen. The door was halfway open, so you stuck your head in. It was rather dark, his LEDs turned off and the blinds from the window closed. His face was illuminated by the computer monitors in front of his face. He wasn’t on stream right now that was a fact but you still knocked on the twice before stepping in.

“Eren,” You called for him.

Your soft voice grabs Eren’s attention, making him do a double-take. He takes his hand to push one side of his headset behind his ear, eyes locked on you for a moment. He’s not sure if you want to tell him something but he couldn’t lie, you looked cute right now— dressed in nothing but his hoodie and your cute panties. You were wearing the cotton ones that had the teeny ribbon bow at the waistband. You had a sleepy look on your face, rubbing your eyes with one of your sweater paws.

“Took a nap?” He asks— his eyes darting back to the main computer monitor out of the three in front of him.

“Mhm.” You hum in response, walking over to him and standing at the armrest of his chair.

Eren looks pretty right now. He always does but you especially love when he wears his hair down. He’s so invested in the game— brows furrowed in concentration while his fingers skillfully mashed the controller’s buttons. The game controller looks so small in his hands compared to when you’re holding it.

“Can we cuddle?” You ask softly, wiggling your sweater paw on his forearm.

Eren leans back further in his gaming chair, lifting his arms as an invitation for you to come climb into his lap. So you did— settling yourself onto his thighs with both your legs on either side of his waist. Your body melts into his with your face buried in his neck, taking in his scent. He smelled faintly of his favorite cologne, a sultry mixture of amber and cedarwood. Eren’s arms wrap around your frame, his slender hands still pressing the buttons on his controller rapidly. You can hear his friends’ yelling, profanities, and jokes spill through his headset. To be frank, you were getting a little jealous because you wanted his attention. You’ve been asking for it the entire day nearly.

“Miss you, Eren..” You whine quietly into his skin.

“Flank to your right, Jean-” Eren mutes his mic. “I’m right here, pumpkin.” He rubs yours back a couple of times before his hand is back on the controller. Eren isn’t really there and definitely not paying attention either, you can tell. There's a clear difference in tone— disinterest, and dismissiveness when speaking to you and the lighthearted words and chuckles his friends get.

“Pay attention to me.” You mumble.

“I am.” He deadpans.

“You’re not, you jerk.” Your shirt balls up into your fist.

You just want him— and you’re not exactly picky with how either.

One of your hands finds its way to your clothed pussy, lodging itself in between his crotch and yours before you begin to hump it, adding pressure on your clit from your middle and ring finger.

“What are you doing?” Eren asks quietly enough for his headset not to pick up his words.

“Nothing.” You whimper, continuing to rut yourself against your hand and taking in your boyfriend’s scent.

It’s not enough though, you know it’s not enough. In a way, you almost hate how Eren conditioned you to want his cock and his only. It’s so fucking big and pretty, he knows it too. The way you can feel that thick vein that protrudes angrily along his length rub against your g spot with every thrust. God, and how he splits you open is almost scary but you can’t get enough of it. Fingers, pillows, toys just don’t do it for you anymore— and your hand right now certainly wasn’t.

“C’n I put you inside?” You lift yourself lazily from his shoulder to look at him, pouting and flushed in the face. Eren sighs, before muting his mic once again.

“Will you behave? I’m serious, (Name). I’m not fucking you right now. Jean is recording for his channel.” He says.

“s’okay!” You perk up a bit. “Just wanna feel you.” You say.

“You say that then we end up fucking..” He sighs when he sees the sad puppy eyes you were putting on for him.

“Go on then, Get me hard.”

It’s been thirty minutes— thirty aching minutes of being stuffed full of Eren’s fat cock. Your panties have long since been discarded somewhere on the floor while his shorts and boxers are pulled halfway down his thighs. You know he can feel your walls fluttering around him every time one of you shifts even the slightest bit, and the most frustrating thing about it is: he doesn’t seem to be affected by any of this. Still ignoring you with his dick buried balls deep into your cunt. Every time you attempted to grind your hips down onto his, he would pinch your thigh hard enough to sting.

“Rennie,” You had tears pricking at your eyes at this point, all you wanted to do was cum but your boyfriend was being a jerk.

“Are you this insatiable? My god.” Eren asks.

“Please, Eren. I miss you.” You rolled your hips onto his.

“Fine. Use it, get yourself off. But I’m not helping you.”

Eren doesn’t have to tell you twice before you’re fucking yourself on his cock— quite literally using him as your own personal dildo. Your arms are wrapped snug around his neck, muffling your moans in his neck as you bounce yourself up and down on his shaft. The head of his cock hitting your cervix every time your hips slammed down onto his. The chair creaking underneath you both with your rapid movements was paired with soft sounds of skin slapping, your labored breathing, and whines. You’re almost certain his teammates can hear you, but it doesn’t matter to you. The only thing on your mind right now was using your boyfriend to get yourself off.

You feel your high form in the pit of your tummy, erupting like a volcano when you reach its peak. Your walls clamp around your boyfriend’s big cock— walls fluttering and clenching in erratic rhythms around his shaft. Your thighs are burning and shaking as you tried your best to silence your moans by biting down on his shoulder. Eren feels it all, he knows you just came but he’s still unbothered, his eyes locked on the screen. His body only moves slightly when you tug on his neck a little too hard. You’re limp in his lap, catching your breath when you hear Eren’s team call for a 10-minute break before resuming another session.

“Satisfied?” He asks, pulling back his headphones so they lay around his neck.

“You didn’t cum.” You say, your cheek slightly squished from his shoulder. Eren only shrugs and ushers you to get up by tapping on your thighs and you followed suit— lifting yourself off his cock. It falls heavy out of you, slapping softly onto his shirt glistening from your juices.

“Clean it.” He says.

You drop to your knees taking his shaft into your palm, dragging your tongue along his length making sure to flatten your muscle to cover more area. You look up through your lashes at Eren to see he’s on his phone— body relaxed with his arm rested behind his head, scrolling through Twitter. Ignoring you, again.

Your hand wraps around the base of his cock as you swirl your tongue around the flushed red tip— then taking as much as you possibly could into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks to create a sucking sensation. The rest that couldn’t fit was being fisted by your hand.

“I said clean up your mess, not get me off,” Eren says, looking down at you instead of at his phone. You released him from your mouth with an explicit ‘pop.’

“Will you feed me, Eren?” You ask, eyes never leaving his. “‘m hungry.” Your hand continues to pump him lazily.

“Fuck- Yeah, I got something for you. Hold still.” Eren’s phone is long forgotten, his hand grabbing a fist full of your hair pulling your head back.

“Use both hands, yeah- stroke my cock, baby.” Eren’s moans sound breathless and pretty. You’re moving your hands up and down his dick at a rapid pace.

“Open your mouth. Said you were hungry, right?” Eren shoots his load onto your tongue unannounced— his thick ropes painting your pretty pink tongue white, some of it dripping down your chin. He’s looking down at you with lidded eyes and his bottom lip nursed between his teeth as he rides out his high with a thin layer of sweat on his forehead. Your hands come to an eventual stop and you roll your tongue back into your mouth, swallowing your snack. Eren takes a finger, swiping it along your chin to gather the excess that didn’t make it into your tummy. You gladly taking his finger into your mouth sucking it clean.

“Now get out. I’m working.”

© all content belongs to rekiri 2021. do not modify or repost.

#eren yeager #eren jaeger #attack on titan x reader #aot x reader #eren yeager x reader #eren jaeger x reader #eren x reader #aot eren x reader #aot eren #snk eren #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #snk x reader #eren jaeger smut #eren yeager smut #aot smut #attack on titan smut #eren smut #snk smut

[deadmunds-ghostbee]

Rambling thoughts/analyses on each of the stills bc I’m procrastinating:

1. This is episode 4, so we might already be at Aubrey hall at this point (or maybe not I don’t think Violet would decorate with pinks???) He looks kind of angry and very horny so maybe this dance is right before or after a first kiss? Definitely not the first time they’ve danced though, just from body language. Also she doesnt have a dance card again! What does it all meannnn?  Anyway I’m obsessed with the hands. Obsessed with his thumbs and her hair and how close his chest is to her back. The other hand looks like its hooking into her dress almost. Literally don’t know how just a picture can have that much tension. This picture is getting tattooed on my heart along with being pasted up on all my apartment walls.

2. Great possibilities with this one, especially since its episode 2. I assume theyre probably talking about Anthony’s courtship but I love the idea of this being connected to the Deadmund flashbacks. Maybe he taught each of them to fence? Maybe they’ll teach gregory and get emo that Deadmund couldn’t teach him? This shot really captures fun and nostalgia but maybe its just anthony huffing about miss sharma and taking it out on colin. 

3. This one is...interesting? Like the wigs and outfits but I am interested in the location. Is this Eloise’s room? Pen has a reticule and she wouldnt have that in her own home right? It gives bluestocking or professor-y vibes, and it looks like they’re talking about something important. I know there’s a LW plotline, but maybe this is about Eloise’s subplot! In the books she refuses marriage three times her first season so they could be discussing that, or maybe it’s about Eloise’s involvement in a social movement. From what we have seen about extras and new characters it seems like a possibility. There are literally so many things it could be I’ll just stop rambling.

4. From the first episode! My guess is they are discussing “rakes” at the beginning of the episode, have guests, or are talking with Mary. Maybe discussing attending the Danbury ball. Kate seems casual but Edwina is very attentive and upright. Also NEWTON IS JUST FUCKING HUGE JESUS CHRIST. No doubts he could knock someone into a body of water with all that weight on him. Other thoughts: Kate’s wig looks weird but fucking whatever I don’t care. Charitha looks gorgeous and so Edwina. Kate has a lot of that dark teal color in her wardrobe and is giving much older vibes. 

5. From episode three! CVD said something on twitter that made it seem like this was the Aubrey Hall study. Interested by their facial expressions. Daphne’s concerned and he looks weirdly chipper. Probably talking about matchmaking or Kate. Maybe she’s upset he doesn’t want a love match and is telling everyone, or saying  that Edwina and him won’t suit. Hopefully Daphne won’t find out about the premarital kiss. regardless she must be most heavily involved in the courtship, more than colin or benedict or even violet.

6. Episode...er I forget. This will be vague but I wonder what they’ll do with the queen this season? Obviously she’s still concerned with LW and maybe even the activism subplot that will be prevalent. Hopefully more with her and the king, bc she wont be invested in the romance like she was with Daphne and Simon. Whatever it is they’ll have to keep her on screen bc they have a whole show to promote about her soon!

7. Episode 1! I would think they’re lookin bejeweled for the debut in front of the queen? If not then for a ball, but that would mean they got their hands on some money. Either from the Featherington heir or maybe Pen used some whistledown $$$ like she did in the books. Anyway they lookin fly makes me wonder why Pen is still in her old yellow clothes in the still with Eloise. In other news if Mr finch and Phillipa dont get more screen time I’ll commit some netflix HQ arson. 

8. Final pic is from ep 4! (Same as the dancing one hmm). They’d probably be at Aubrey Hall for shooting at least, and it’s interesting that Jack is there but not Colin! Love that we’ll get Kate/Ben content and Kate’s jaunty Danbury-like cap is immaculate. She’s wearing that teal-ish color again, going along with Anthony’s dark blues. It seems like the show is going hard on them being competitive what with Pall Mall, horse racing/riding, and now shooting. We know Anthony is kinda bad at shooting and I’m sure this will just be anther silly opportunity for Kate to show him up but I’m not like, that mad at it. I don’t think she’d actually be comfortable killing a real animal though. Maybe they’ll be clay. Anyway, I love the Kate is a jock content bc we know she doesnt like to read lol. It kind of makes more sense than Eloise being randomly great with guns.

All in all I’m so excited looking at these stills! I think at least some of my predictions will end up being right, and whether some of the topics, subplots, romances, whatever are tackled well or poorly remains to be seen until it’s in front of our faces. In the meantime it feels good to be excited and be overly analytical as I often like to be!

#bridgerton #tvwlm #my lukewarm takes

[tarosin]

the great adventures of y/n tubbo jack niki and wilbur - racing across the sea

requested: yes/no

part 8 of the great adventures series

warning: cursing, anxiety about the sea

ever since the argument you and tubbo had become inseparable, he practically lived with you and your parents at this point, and your community was loving it. everytime one of you would stream, tens of thousands of people would tune into your stream to see what madness was going on and today was no different. the pair of you decided to stream a laugh and the stream ends challenge. safe to say you ended up changing the rules several times, you even made ranboo join the stream so you could have extra lives. not long after the stream ended you, ranboo, and tubbo practically dominated the twitter trending page. today however was tubbos last day at yours and shortly after you ended stream, the pair of you headed out to the train station so you could make sure your best friend made it onto the train safely. after you said your goodbyes, you decided to facetime jack on your way home to discuss vlog ideas, and just to talk to him, as you had been rather busy this past week going over plans with ranboo, tubbo, and all of your parents about the uk trip that was happening pretty soon.

a few days later, it was finally time to go film the vlog. you couldn’t exactly lie, you weren’t exactly looking forward to this, as you were told it had something to do with the sea and boats which oddly enough didn’t mix very well with your fear of the deep sea. you had no idea what’s down there and you didn’t want to find out, but hey at least you’d be with tubbo.

your parents offered to drive you there so you didnt have any additional stress from having to get a train then a taxi, this allowed you to have a pretty quiet journey to meet up with your friends. you sat in the back of the car on facetime with tommy who was the only one who knew about your fear and was rather confused as the why you would agree to do such a thing

“i’ll never understand what goes through your mind, you’ve got this though! you’re going to be completely okay, plus you never know it might help you get over your fear, you did tell me you had been working on getting over it.”

“I suppose you’re right, it can’t be too bad. I mean I love the sea. I just don’t like what’s deep down, you feel me?”

“i understand mate, but you need to remember jack wouldn’t put you in danger. as much as he acts like he would, and even if you do fall off the boat or some how end up in the water, you won’t automatically end up at the bottom of the sea. just try to enjoy yourself, yeah?”

“...yeah”

“call me when you get home you can tell me all about what happened, afterwards we can record a minecraft mod video.”

“of course, boss man.”

“you hang out with tubbo too much, you should hang out with me a lot more.”

the car pulled into the car park and within a minute of the car stopping tubbo was at the window shouting your name.

“right tommy, i should probably go, ill see you later bud!”

you said goodbye to your parents as tubbo opened your car door for you.

“what a gentleman, thank you, tubbo.”

“anything for you, now let’s go. jack began filming the intro and i really want the hat hes wearing.”

“you’re ridiculous.”

he stood with his arms crossed shaking his head, pretending to be offended before walking off with you not far behind him.

you stood with niki and wilbur as tubbo went off filming some of the intro with jack. the three of you stood talking about how you have all been and discussing more plans for your meetup.

“y/n, go control your friend, he’s stealing a hat!”

you ran up behind tubbo and stole the hat from him, putting it on your own head.

“why have you got the hat now?”

“i am now captain!”

“but i wanted to be captain!”

you and tubbo stood arguing back and forth over who was captain, ignoring jack trying to get the pair of you to stop.

“you have 5 seconds to stop arguing or you’re being separated 5...4...3...2...1 right.”

“jack no!”

jack pulled you aside claiming he has something really important to ask you.

“so did you bring something valuable?”

“yeah i did actually, i brought tubbo and the necklace tommy gave me for my birthday last year.”

tubbo overhearing the conversation walked over telling you both that he also brought a valuable item, in fact it was a family heirloom.

“i brought an urn.”

“why would you do that tubbo? what the fuck-“

“you two do realise if either of you lose it had to go in the sea?”

“poor grandma.”

“aye about that you will have to pry that necklace out of my hands in order to throw it in the sea!”

the three of you went up to wilbur and niki where wilbur stole the hat you stole from tubbo, and you were told that you were all about to race to the isle of wight.

it was unfortunately time to board the boat, you sat next to tubbo, so that you felt like you had some sort of control with what was about to happen. the others sat making jokes about what was going on whilst you were trying to get control of your breathing. as you all set sail, you thought you were doing a good job of hiding the fact you were potentially about to have a panic attack as no one seemed to notice, or so you thought. considering the fact tubbo was your best friend, he instantly noticed something was wrong and wrapped an arm around you, and decided that distracting you would be a lot better than making you focus on what was currently happening.

“hey y/n, i have an amazing idea for when ranboos in the uk. a 4 month sleep over.”

“heh?”

before you had time to fully process what was going on, all you could hear was wilbur now claiming to be captain then going on to tell you why portsmouth is called portsmouth. you couldnt help but laugh at the random things he was coming up with since he put the captains hat on.

“that is a cinema..i’ve been in this industry for a while now, isn’t that right?”

it was silent for a while until niki tried to steal the captains hat, but was unfortunately unsuccessful .

“maybe next time niki.”

“thank you for believing in me, y/n.”

you pointed out a castle which ended up with wilbur talking about how the planned executions there .

“are they dead?”

“...tubbo of course they’re dead. what kind of question was that?”

the other boat began getting closer to the boat you were all currently in, indicating that it was almost time for you all to split up into two groups.

“my boat is going much faster.”

“that is a sign of pollution.”

“wow jack you’re polluting the world, i hope you’re happy!”

the ride was pretty chill until jack asked what he had lost in the past.

“past relationships.”

“the love or host.”

“laugh you lose streams.”

“the waterslide races from when we went to the water park.”

you and tubbo continued listening things that jack had lost.

“okay. so i’ve lost a few things.”

jack looked towards the other boat.

“however, you two are about to lose each other.”

“excuse you?”

“no, y/n is mine!”

eventually wilbur had enough and picked tubbo up and took him to the other boat with him.

“TUBBO!”

“Y/N!”

you and niki sat laughing as jack and wilbur bickered about who was going to win the boat race. whilst jack was distracted, you felt niki tap your arm and told you to look over to the other boat where tubbo was reaching his arm out to you so you could quickly swap boats.

you quickly got into the boat and sat next to your best friend, tubbo knew you were still slightly nervous, so made it so you would be sat in between him and wilbur so you would feel a lot more comfortable. a few minutes later, your boat began to set off and all you could hear was a mixture of tubbos laughter and jacks yelling getting quieter the further you went.

“AY THEY CANT START WITHOUT US!. AND THEY GOT Y/N, WHEN DID THEY GET THEM?!”

you turned to face wilbur who pointed towards a building before announcing that it definitely belonged to the the three of you, and was renaming it reddit gold.

“reddit..reddit gold, are you serious?” you said through your laughter, the three of you sat together taking turns narrating what was happening .

“go on, y/n.”

“if this capsizes, were all drowning.”

“cheerful as awful.”

“do you think sharks are beneath us?”

“i’m not even answering that question.”

you looked over your shoulder to see that niki and jack were catching up to you all.

“i hope they don’t overtake us, otherwise it’s bye bye tubbo.”

“and grandma.”

“excuse you, tubbo?”

“he’s claiming that he brought an urn with him and if we lose our valuable item gets chucked into the sea.”

a little while later jacks boat was next to yours and you and wilbur started to shout how it was like romeo and juliet.

“y/n, you studied this at gcse a while back, yell some quotes.”

“tubbo i didn’t listen to the teachers.”

“do it!”

“no!”

wilbur continued to talk to the others whilst you and tubbo sat bickering about William Shakespeare .

“tubbo my favourite character was benvolio and he fucked off halfway through.”

“what do you mean he fucked off?”

“he literally disappeared.”

wilbur was genuinely questioning what he was listening to he slowly turned around and tried to catch your attention; however you were currently in the middle of a debate about why benvolio disappeared, which was that last thing you expected to be doing on the boat. eventually your debate died down and you looked up to see wilbur shaking his head at you both, clearly confused as to why you spent 5 minutes arguing about romeo and juliet. an idea came to wilburs mind as he started laughing and pointing at the sea.

“drink some seawater, tubbo.”

you looked away as tubbo reached into the water trying to hold as much water as he could before bringing it to his lips and drinking the seawater.

“tubbo did you really just-“

“more tubbo!”

tubbo did the same as before, however this time brought his hands towards your face.

“drink it, y/n!”

“yeah, y/n, you can help desalinate it.”

“how wonderful, i’ll pass though.”

tubbo looked at you pretending to be upset and lifted his hands towards you again, this time you gave in and drank some of the water.

“thanks, tubbo, I can now only taste salt.”

jack noticed what you and tubbo were doing and looked at wilbur confused.

“im making them drink seawater!”

“what’s it like?”

“potassium!”

“salt.. a lot of salt!”

you checked your phone as you kept receiving multiple messages from tommy trying to get your attention, forgetting that you were currently on a boat with the others. you looked up from your phone to see tubbo drinking more seawater.

“AGAIN?”

you had no idea what was going on for jack and niki, but it sounded a lot like they lost hope as jack yelled asking if there was room for him on the boat while tubbo sat flipping him off in response to his question. jack continued to yell at the three of you however none of you could hear what he was yelling, so you kind of sat just nodding your head in agreement to what he was saying. wilbur pointed out that he could see the finishing line and how it looked like you were all going to make it. you looked over to see jack and niki recreating that one scene from titanic tubbo looked at you smiling, trying not to laugh.

“absolutely not one of us, if not both of us, would end up in the sea.”

the boat began to go significantly faster. at the start you were unsure how to feel, however a few minutes into it you began laughing enjoying how fast you were going.

“woahhh we’re turning!”

the boat did a loop before going straight on as fast as it could go.

“y/n, tubbo, we’re going. we’re going.”

“OH MY GOD!”

you ended up passing another boat you and tubbo instantly waved to everyone on the boat a few people waved back .

“they don’t wanna wave.”

“they know their boat is bigger than ours.”

“they could easily ram us and kill us all.”

“hopefully they decide against doing that.”

the boat began weaving resulting in you, tubbo, and wilbur constantly crashing into each other, not that any of you cared you were all having the time of your lives. you pointed at a boat which was cutting off the boat jack and niki were in .

“we’ve got this in the bag boys, victory is ours!”

your boat slowed down so it could dock.

“i think we’ve won!”

“we won”!

“holy shit we won! tubbo doesn’t have to go in the sea now!”

everyone got out of the boat so you could all wait for jack and niki to reach the dock, as the two of them approached you all tubbo began to sing.

“we are the champions my friend!”

“STOP IT!”

“i have to go into the fucking water!”

you pulled niki into a hug.

“jack you cruel man.”

“did you not have fun niki..we had a great time.”

you let go of niki and stood behind tubbo placing your head on his shoulder whilst jack explained to wilbur what was going to happen if they lost.

“oh, I thought we got to decide who was thrown into the water.”

“no no no no no no!”

“well i think considering we won..”

after a small discussion as a team, you all instantly agreed that jack should be thrown into the water, you all stood on the boat as niki argued that he cant throw her into the water. a couple seconds later wilbur walks towards jack handing him the camera before picking him up.

“are you ready?”

“i don’t think the bits that funny will, i don’t think the bits that funny!”

you all screamed and laughed as jack was thrown into the water. jack complained about the temperature of the sea as he climbed back onto the boat only to be pushed off again by you and tubbo.

“that’s revenge for trying to put us on separate boats!”

you spent the rest of the day together just hanging together as a group before you said your goodbyes.

the ride back home was you excitedly explaining what your boat ride was like to your parents, once you got home you ran upstairs to your room then called tommy on discord

“how was it then?”

“tommy it was so cool, honestly i wish you could have come with us.”

“i mean you’re coming with me george and wilbur to a water course next week, you don’t have a choice.”

“oh okay, it’s a good job i’d love to be there then, tom, also what mod are we playing just so i can check i have it ready.”

“rlcraft.”

the two of you spent a good hour talking before getting ready to film a video with charlie and jschlatt for tommys youtube channel.

taglist:

@l0ver0fj0y @etheriaaly @xx-smiley-xx @hawarun @kylobensgirl @cawcaw-pretty-thing @reverse-iak @c1loudee

#mcyt x reader #mcyt fanfiction #mcyt writing #mcyt imagines #mcyt imagine #mcyt fluff #tubbo x y/n #tubbo imagine #tubbo x reader #tubbo x you #tubbo fluff #jack manifold x y/n #jack manifold imagine #jack manifold x reader #jack manifold x you #jack manifold fluff #nihachu x y/n #nihachu imagine #nihachu x reader #nihachu x you #nihachu fluff #wilbur x y/n #wilbur imagine #wilbur x reader #wilbur x you #wilbur fluff

[swiftgronmasterpost]

Late Stage Swiftgron Part 2 (things get loud with babe):

April 18, 2018 - Dianna posts to Instagram about “commitment issues”:

April 20, 2018 - Babe (a song that Taylor wrote in the Red era) about a lover with shall we say “commitment issues”.

Later when the Babe music video is released people (even non Gaylors) notice that it is nearly a shot for shot remake of the I’m Not The Only One music video that Dianna starred in back in 2014. 

What’s more psychotic is that the song Babe itself is only three minutes and 35 seconds long:

But the music video has had a full minute and 4 seconds to it to make it the exact same length as the I’m Not The Only One music video. I do think that this is pretty hard evidence that Dianna did step out on Taylor at some point back in 2012.  I do not think, however, that it was the chronic issue that the fandom seems to think it was.  This is the only song that appears to be about Dianna that accuses her of cheating.  The breakup songs on 1989 do not insinuate that the relationship ended due to cheating.  In fact, in Style Taylor says “I’ve been there too a few times” when it comes to being with other people.

I actually theorize that the track was not released on Red because Taylor wrote it while upset and hurt, and then they reconciled and worked it out.  I think Taylor didn’t release it at the time because she forgave Dianna for the indiscretion and they moved on from it as a couple.  I think in her heart of hearts at the time Taylor did not want to put Dianna “on blast” that way.

I think down the road in 2018 they’re obviously long broken up, and have long moved on from the slights of old and Taylor let Dianna know she was going to release the song.  Dianna’s “commitment issues” post makes it seem as if it’s a bit of an inside joke between them and Dianna is poking fun at herself and the old and forgiven incident.  At least that’s how the situation reads to me.

Taylor posts a cute video talking about the song with a cheeky smile and a heart to ig:

Another theory I’ve been mulling over is the possibility that Dianna and Taylor hooked up some time in 2018 prompting Taylor to paint herself as the other woman (as Dianna would be cheating on Winston making Taylor the other woman) in the mv.  There’s no hard evidence for it but it’s possible...

June 6, 2018 - Dianna posts a now deleted selfie and rant about how amazing KIlling Eve is (this post was deleted late summer/early fall 2020 for no apparent reason):

It’s probably a coincidence but her shirt reads, “SANS SOLEIL” which means, “without sun” in French.  Karlie is known as “sunshine” in the Gaylor Swift Cinematic Universe.

June 9, 2018 - The aforementioned Babe music video is released 

Let me show you just how similar this music video is to I’m Not the Only One:

first, you should know that YES taylor came up with the concept for the music video:

the second thing you should know is that the babe track is 3 minutes and 35 seconds long but the babe music video is 4 minutes and 39 seconds long:

you know what else is EXACTLY 4 minutes and 39 seconds long?

that’s right…the music video that she’s basically copying in the babe mv that starred dianna way back in 2014

opening shot:

kiss goodbye (at almost the same timestamp):

similar shots at the same timestamp:

and again:

and again (these are also basically the stills used for the mv before you click play):

both women driving at the same fucking timestamp (y’all taylor swift is insane holy shit):

in the store shopping at the same fucking timestamp no she is literally unwell someone get her into a facility now:

cheating happens at the same timestamp (seriously tay get help✌️):

here’s another similar shot of my babies at the same timestamp;

cheating husband coming home, same timestamp:

very similar shot of the husbands walking up to the door at the same fucking timestamp (i get it taylor you’re laughing at us from the prison cell now):

similarities that happen at different timestamps

wifey drinking out by the pool:

wifey fiddling with ring:

cheaters drinking it up together:

wifies drinking it up as well (several times both in the mv):

wives do away with the husband’s clothes (Dianna burns them while jennifer dumps them outside in the front lawn):

Pretty much the only thing that’s different about the music videos is the ending.  the babe cheater gets dumped while dianna takes her cheater back but ofc we know how taylor likes to change the endings (like she did with love story) or at least to try to change the ending (peter losing wendy).

July 13, 2018 - Taylor visits home and posts to IG with the lyric from style “Take me home” as the caption:

Taylors on the Rep tour and we get this series of surprise songs I consider to be Dianna songs:

“Ours” - Foxborough, MA July 28th

“Out of The Woods” - Toronto, Canada August 3rd (Karlie’s birthday)

“Come Back… Be Here”- Toronto, Canada August 4th (august 4th 2014 Taylor wears one of the Style mv outfits)

“This Love” - Atlanta, Ga., Aug. 10

These shows are all in succession I think it could be a coincidence or perhaps Taylor’s reaction to Karlie’s engagement announced on July 24, 2018...

August 25, 2018 - Karlie shows up to rep tour in Nashville and Taylor plays Better Man 💀

August 31, 2018 - secret song is Swiftgron “Begin Again”

February 24, 2019 - Swiftgron reunion? at the Vanity Fair Oscar Party both Dianna and Taylor are there and they both post to Instagram about it(Dianna posts two days later):

She also comments to a friend that they stayed out until 3AM.

Taylor’s post:

March 7, 2019 - Dianna sees Fleabag at SoHo House:

April 9, 2019 - Dianna posts with a caption about being 13 years old, unrequited love, and 143 in reference to the show Pen15:

June 14, 2019 - Taylor adds “Woman” by Mumford and Sons to her ME! playlist - the song is rumored to be about Dianna written by her (now ex) husband Winston Marshall:

September 7, 2019 - Taylor is noted to be at a Fleabag performance in London at the at Wyndham Theater.

September 23, 2019 - Dianna posts about Phoebe Waller Bridge (who wrote Fleabag, and EPs Killing Eve among other things):

October 5, 2019 - SNL!!!!! - Taylor is the musical guest on SNL while Phoebe Waller Bridge hosts and DIANNA IS IN ATTENDANCE with a VIP guest pass (can only be granted by a cast member, host, or musical guest) and also noted to be “in Swift’s inner circle” at the afterparty:

Taylor performs Lover:

And with huge lesbian energy she also performs False God:

(if it weren’t for DIanna showing up at SNL I probably wouldn’t have even gotten interested in Swiftgron so you have this holy night to thank for my blog @swiftgron-get-married​ as well as this timeline!)

A blog contributor reached out to someone (non-biased, I know some Kaylors reported that DIanna was there for PWB but that isn’t what this person said) who was at the performance on Twitter and this is what they had to say about the night:

“Dianna was definitely paying attention”

Other fan reports state that Dianna made a face when Taylor sang “magnetic force of a man”:

December 13, 2019 (Taylor’s 30th Birthday) - Dianna adds the song Got It Bad (which is an incredibly sensual song) to a Playlist entitled T 2017 on her private spotify account Some time in late 2019/early 2020 - Ashley (re)follows Dianna on Instagram February 2020 - Dianna and Taylor are both in London at the same time

Click here to keep reading!

[dirtyoatmeall]

Bokuto’s Cool Sister (Tsukishima Kei x Reader)

A/N: Here is an actual fic! I have a list of shit to write I’m slowly working through, next will either be more head canons or a one shot. I’m re-watching AOT rn to get caught up with the new season so sorry about being absent! Luv u guys a lot

Pairing: Tsukishima x Bokuto sibling reader (No pronouns or gendered language used toward reader, not referred to as sister just used for title purposes), Bokuto x Akaashi, Kenma x Kuroo

Word Count: 2k! (longest ever!)

Warnings: Mentions of underage drinking (everyone at least 20), mentions of secs

~~~

You groaned as you neared the door to your apartment, seeing that the door was not cracked open a little for you to nudge open like you had asked your brother to do as you pulled into the complex. You remember him vaguely mentioning friends coming over, and you can hear music faintly coming from the apartment, but he always checks his phone, especially when you're coming from the store. 

You try to balance the milk on your knee to open the door, and just as you think you have it, the door doesn’t budge. You close your eyes and take a deep breath. Your brother never locks the doors, why would he now? His car is in the parking lot and you can hear noise inside, so he’s home. Instead of putting groceries on the ground and fishing your keys out of your purse like a normal person, you make the decision to kick the door, not very hard, but hard enough to be heard in the apartment. 

“Kou! Why is the door locked? Will you come open it for me, I have groceries!” You can hear your brother tumbling towards the door, apologies flying out of his mouth a mile a minute. The door swings open, revealing your brother, grimace on his face. “Sorry! I totally forgot you were at the store, I think ‘Kaashi might’ve locked it.” You sighed, not being able to stay mad at your brother’s friend. 

You walk in, jerking your head in the general direction of the parking lot, “I have some more in my car, can you go grab it?” He nods, grabbing his key ring and jogging out. Both of you had the spare key to each other’s cars, which turned out to be more convenient then you originally thought. 

You move toward the kitchen, yelling out a greeting to your brother’s boyfriend. “Akaashi! Next time you come over to fuck my brother let me know before so I can have my keys out, or just leave the door unlocked and go in his room!” You had a joking, yet scolding tone of voice, imagining his flustered state at your words. What you did not expect, was a hyena-like laugh to come from the direction of the living room. You were almost positive your brother said Akaashi was here. 

You place the groceries on the counter and make your way to the living room, freezing in the doorway. Akaashi was there, but so were 3 other people. Akaashi was red, shaking his head that was resting in his palms. There was someone playing on a gaming console on the couch who had their legs thrown over the lap of the laughing one, and one on the other couch, tall and blonde, who looked weirdly familiar, who had a faint smirk on their face. You grimace, you didn’t realize your brother had actual friends over, he usually just meant Akaashi or the occasionally Hinata. “Oops sorry ‘Kaashi, didn't know Kou was having other people over.”

He lifted his head, face still slightly flushed and smiled. “It’s fine (Y/N)-san, do you need help with the groceries?” You shook your head, pointing behind you in the direction of the kitchen, where you could hear your brother rummaging around. “Nah, I made Koutaro get the rest. If you guys are staying for dinner let me know and I’ll make something instead of making him go to the food truck for me. By the way, who are the rest of you? I literally thought Kou was lying about having friends.” 

The blonde one snorted, you narrowed your eyes slightly, he looked so familiar, you just couldn’t quite place it. The one playing the console seemed familiar too, you think you might’ve seen him on Twitter. The only one you didn’t recognize was the first to speak. “I’m Kuroo Tetsuro, we all played volleyball together in high school, I’m surprised he hasn’t talked about us before.” 

You nod in understanding, “Oh so that’s where. I’m sure he has, I just probably wasn’t paying attention to what he was saying. I mean you guys seem kinda familiar, more the other two than you, were you like benched a lot?” The quiet one next to him looks up to see his reaction and snorts at the disbelief on Kuroo’s face. “Yeah, Kuro wasn’t very good.” The half blonde says, giggling softly as Kuroo gasps and yells at him. “Kenma!” He turns to you, “I was the captain and a very good player actually.” You laugh as Kenma behind him makes a face that says ‘That’s what you think.’ Before Kuroo could whine some more, Akaashi speaks.

“Kenma-san is a YouTuber, which is probably where you’ve seen him. He and Kuroo-san played for Nekoma, I’m surprised you didn’t remember them from that, you remembered Lev-san.” Kenma actually laughs at that, and Kuroo is pouting as Akaashi continues, a cheeky smile on his face that told you he purposefully sprinkled that last little tidbit in. 

“Tsukishima-san, aren’t you a museum-studies major?” The blonde on the loveseat across from the other three nods, and you snap your fingers, finally realizing where you know him from. “Oh, that makes sense! I think we’ve had a class or two together. I’m an archaeology major.” Tsukishima’s eyebrows raise in surprise, but before he could speak, your brother finally comes in from the kitchen.

“(Y/NNNNN), I put everything away, we were going to go to Onigiri Miya tonight, wanna come?” You nod and swat at his had when he ruffles your hair before plopping down to his boyfriend. You go to leave your brother and his friends, taking one last glance at Tsukishima, who seemed to have the same idea, he averted his eyes the moment yours met, and you smirked to yourself on the way to the kitchen to re-put away the groceries. You loved your brother, but he definitely did not know where to put things, your thought validified as you pull the eggs from the pantry, switching it with the instant ramen packets in the fridge. Good thing he was a great volleyball player. ` Later that night, you join the boys for dinner at Onigiri Miya. You take two separate cars, you driving your brother and Akaashi and Kuroo driving Kenma and Tsukishima. Kuroo made a joke about racing there, which you took as a personal challenge, much to the dismay of Akaashi. You would’ve won too, but you had to pull over to kick Koutaro in the backseat for playing Nickelback. He buys your food as an apology, and Kuroo’s food because he won (you venomed him later for your share of food, which he promptly venomed back to you with angry faces in the description.). The 6 of you sat in a corner booth, you were sandwiched between Akaashi and Tsukkishima with Kuroo between your brother and Kenma on the other side.

The table was loud with jokes, laughing, and yelling as everyone ate their meals. You snuck drinks of ‘Akaashi’s’ margarita when the waitress wasn’t looking (You were 20 and Akaashi submits to peer pressure from you easily). “(Y/N), are you not 21 yet?” Kuroo asked as he watched you nudge the drink toward Akaashi as the waitress talked to the other table. You turned to Kuroo, cheeks just barely flushed. “Hm? Oh no I’m not, I’m two years younger than you guys, I turn 21 in a few months.” 

Kuroo hummed in understanding and got a suspiciously mischievous look on his face. “Oh, you’re the same age as Tsukkishima, and you guys have similar majors, how interesting” Your eyebrows furrow and you snort. “So do over a thousand other people Kuroo, its not a super niche subject.” You turn to Tsukkishima and continue, “Hm I didn’t realize we were in the same year, I thought you were older, must be your grumpy grandpa like disposition.” Akaashi explained what disposition meant to your brother and Kuroo snickered before he was shut down by Kenma, who has been doing an excellent job of roasting Kuroo at every chance he gets. “You laugh like everyone doesn’t call you old man behind your back.” 

You laughed for the umpth time that night, Tsukishima watching you, he could really see the sibling resemblance when you laughed. You throw your head back and laugh loudly, from your gut much like your brother. Tsukishima looks away from you, catching Kuroos eye in the process, the blonde rolls his eyes at the smirk on Kuroos face. Out of the 5 of them, he was the only one not in a relationship and Kuroo has been trying to set him up since Bokuto and Akaashi finally got together at Akaashi’s graduation. 

Tsukishima looks at you again, watching you take a sip of the margarita, and subsequently watches it almost come out of your nose as you laugh at something Akaashi said to Bokuto, clutching the former's shoulder, hand over your nose. There was no doubt that you were pretty, and you did have similar interests. His thoughts were interrupted by you turning to him, knee-knocking against his thigh. “Have you taken Anth 267?” He nods “I took it last quarter.” He replies and watches you sigh in relief. “Oh thank god, I’m having trouble meeting her insane essay expectations. I usually have ‘Kaashi read through mine but would it be ok if I sent them to you? Or at least bounced topics off you?” When he agrees you smile, unlocking your phone and sliding it towards him, a new contact open. “Oh great, here, why don’t you put your number in?” As he fills it out, his eyes involuntarily flit to the text message appearing at the top of your screen. From: That Sunny Bitch

Ew you think Tsukki’s hot? He’s a good volleyball player but he was a meanie in high school 😝

He held back the urge to smirk. That must be Hinata based on the name. He quickly finished the contact and gave your phone back before giving his to you, and you quickly typed in your contact info, as well as snapping a quick contact photo. It was super close to your face with your tongue out, a good tell of your personality. You give his phone back and the two of you talk more about school and classes before everyone gets ready to leave. 

Your brother stands up first, and you take advantage of his large frame and chug the rest of the margarita down, smiling big at Akaashi who chastises you about drinking it so fast. You all wave to Osamu as you leave, and before Tsukishima can get to Kuroo’s car, he turns to the group, smirking. “I've got to run Kenma by our apartment to grab his charger, we’ll meet you guys.” You nod, handing your keys to Akaashi and turn to Tsukishima. “You can sit in the back with me Tsukishima!” Though you might be promoted to passenger if Bokuto makes bad music choices again.” You glare at your brother as you finish the sentence, and he whines about how his taste ‘isn’t that bad!’ 

The car ride back to your apartment is short, and you spend it chatting with Tsukki, as you’re now allowed to call him, and you spend the rest of the night with the boys, playing games and watching movies until early morning. Kuroo and Kenma leave first, and Kenma made your night when he looked you in the eye and said goodbye. Tsukki left about an hour later, his roommate picked him up. Akaashi ended up staying over, and you were glad your bedroom was on the other side of the apartment from your brother’s. You fell into bed content with the day, happy you were able to meet your brother’s friends.

You awoke mid-day, and you browsed your notifications before dropping your phone on your bed when you read one text message, heat spreading over your cheeks. You definitely do not remember changing his contact name.

From: Hot classmate Tsukki

Hey, how about we go over your essay over some coffee tonight?

#my writing #haikyuu!! #haikyuu #haikyu #haikyuu x you #haikyuu tsukishima #tsukishima kei #tsukishima x y/n #tsukishima x reader #tsukishima kei x reader #haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x reader #tsukishima x you #tsukishima kei x you

[legionofpotatoes]

I love your art, it is very detailed in a neat way. Was wondering how you got started making it as a source of income? How did you get your first paid work, I'd love some advice on how to get started, if that's ok

Thank you. Of course it's okay, although I doubt I have enough work experience in art to really delve into this. I only went full freelance this year, and had been juggling art as a side hobby until then. If you're still interested in my somewhat narrow perspective, and are okay with my long-winded rambles, I'll give it a shot:

So to answer your question fully, I'll describe how I started and move into personal advice and learnings later on. As a disclaimer, I am a white cishet dude in my late twenties with a moderate cocktail of mental illnesses, but overall I can pass for a functioning adult so a lot I have to say may come laced with privilege I cannot fully identify.

So uhh I began drawing in around 2012? I think? Maybe halfway through 2011? And I mostly made fanart for things I enjoyed and tried to branch out in communities that felt nourishing to my style and interests (I caught a bug for alt posters and enjoyed mainstream movies so I spent a long time on posterspy early on). There were a handful of opportunities that came from there but I could only accept a couple because of primary workplace commitments. Still, it showed that networking in a focused community was definitely a good place to start; I myself have huge trouble committing to social networks and really staying socially active, but I knew it was an essential ingredient in succeeding so I tried to make myself be involved in challenges and art support trains etc. as much as I could.

In parallel to all that I also ran a few third party online stores (redbubble, teepublic) for disposable income and would sometimes, if rarely, hit around $100-150 a month from those sources combined. It is a sort of thing that requires helper accounts on other social media sites to promote it on, because the stores themselves have a huge volume of content that translates into low organic discoverability. Obviously it was never gonna be the way towards financial independence through art, and with community projects being few and far between, I opened private commissions in around uhhh 2017 I think, focusing on offering a few styles I knew I could do well, and sometimes operating in individual fandoms (it was mostly a bioware thing to be frank). But I had to close them back down after a year or so, again because of work-life conflict and how badly it was burning me out. The reason I kept trying to monetize this hobby is because I honestly hated what I did for my main job and wanted to see a way out in some shape or form in the future.

And then in 2020 I had to quit my main job altogether because of *gestures at pandemic* and deal with a mental breakdown from all the wonderful things it did to us and me specifically. I took a short break and decided to give art a shot full-time, and that was around May this year. I was planning on opening up commissions again (and I still am), but a few sudden opportunities that fell in my lap moved that timetable down and now I'm grateful to even be doing something I am getting adequately paid for.

So, with that somewhat limited perspective, here's what I've learned that I'd tell myself if I was just starting out:

1. Being a fan of something can be a shortcut towards effective networking kickoffs. Which are important evidently. If you love something and enjoy making content for it, join communities, settle into a combination of social media websites that feel right for those interests + your body of work + your inner rhythm, and try to play to content discovery as much as your mental health allows you to. Like I said, I know that I myself am incredibly bad at self-motivating to talk to people, so I found that synergizing common interests into fanart - which I enjoyed making anyway - could be a way to give myself a gentle nudge forward and build those bridges leading to community activities, which then net experience and coverage. Sometimes even freelance projects from official avenues. Again; picking the right spaces for what you're after is key. Companies roam twitter, concept art recruiters scour artstation or linkedin etc, instagram can land you private commissions and collab opportunities, so on and so forth. Find your niche and try to kick up dust. However...

2. I do not believe that any social profile can replace a good portfolio. The thing that made an immediate difference to me this year was building a coherent, simple website with my best work front and center and a contact form on top. Every single opportunity I got came from that form (maybe via twitter or instagram initially, but always sealing the decision after going through the website), so I firmly believe that showcasing your skills and portfolio in a visually arresting and user-friendly way is a big priority. I had some reservations about tackling that task but fortunately I had help from a savvy life partner and we slapped it together via wordpress in less than a day. Twitter/whatever social media is prevalent in your target groups is definitely important to get the right eyes on your shit, yes, but those eyes will then look for a second stop where your work and rates are more clear and concise. Simplicity is key imo, I cannot overstate this. So make a cute, simple portfolio!

3. Your skills and rates will grow and change as you do. Let them. Over the years I built several lasting professional relationships from my obsession over mass effect and kept getting opportunities both from bioware and their partner companies, some small and some a bit bigger. A one-off job earlier this year opened an unexpected door to another much larger commitment, and then the work I did there brought some attention from small businesses looking for commercial commissions. These were all incredibly different projects in terms of scope and budget, and I've been tackling them all on a case-by-case basis and slowly coming into my own irt my needs, rates, and SOW thresholds. It is still a work in progress (and a LOT of literal work as well), and very much a thing I struggle with in publicly marketing, which is why I felt a tad underqualified to answer your question in the first place (obviously I did not let that stop me). But what it means for me now is that I am rapidly developing into whatever my "version" of a functioning freelance artist is, and when the conditions for that guy are met, I need to be able to confidently plant myself and operate from that space despite past precedents. Do not let anyone bully you into downpricing what you yourself perceive as legitimate products of personal growth and development. Speaking of which...

4. The shitty challenge of turning envy into inspiration, and paddling outside your comfort zones in full riot gear. it is hard, but realizing that being a miserable, self-hating artist in my early days got me nothing but more misery back was the first real step I took and what truly blew the hinges off. I was just not pleasant to be around, I would badmouth my work all the time, and it all somehow made sense in my broken mind because the validation I sought was purely external and the way I sought it was through eliciting sympathy via self-victimization (even when I made something objectively nice). It all led fucking nowhere. Except perhaps to my own narcissism that I one day managed to identify and start managing. So I started looking at things that made me seethe with envy and calmly deconstruct and figure out their inner workings instead, do studies, and find nuggets of inspiration or discover new ways to approach rendering or building up specific elements. It was an application of analytical diligence to what I wanted to be a purely emotional, esoteric workflow, but that I deep down knew wasn't. Art is a discipline and a skill, and maybe it isn't a straight line, but you gotta find some line to thread nevertheless. Being self-hating was almost an identity I had to break out of, and despite it still being like, 4-5% there? I realize its cause and effect on me, my work, and those around me, so it is with a conscious choice that I gently set it aside when I work and especially when I learn. It won't always stay quiet, but the effort is the difference. Your doors towards accepting true growth and venturing into uncharted territories, art styles, and networking will really open from there. But there's a huge caveat...

5. Toolsets, accessibility, privilege, and all the good things that enable artistic expression and profitability are not given equal to all. you might do all the mental work I mentioned to be ready to rock and roll and learn and draw your way out of anything, but digital art is a fucking money pit that asks almost too much at times. I don't got a good case study here but identifying and ensuring accessibility to the tools you need to do your best work is, like, super important. The ergonomics can improve as you make money and settle into the job, but the basics have to be made available to you. And some of that might not even be under your direct control. That can be anything from pen tablets to software subscriptions to opportunities in hiring sullied by sexism or what have you. You gotta navigate all that through careful networking and money/time management. I don't do a good job of devoting specific slices of time to work/study, and my primary clutch is iPad software which went from a good deal to a nightmare scenario over the years. So all I can say here is do what I didn't; network, invest in a PC/tablet, and pick a software you'll learn that won't burn a hole in your pocket.

6. Be nice to work with? This one is hard to articulate and has landed my own ass in hot water in my early years because of how socially inept I am, but nothing is more worthwhile than being.. like. a good person to work with. That can be anything like meeting deadlines, or sometimes missing them but eloquently articulating why, being generous in early stages, being communicable and not too wordy in your emails, having a good grasp on abstract artistic concepts and how to describe them in simple terms, having a clear, laid out framework of your working rates in commercial and non-commercial projects and sticking to those guns with grace, understanding when you need to say no and saying it well, the works. Just being nice. Sometimes that might mean going headstrong with something you believe in, or simmering down and sucking up to the big man, all relative and adaptive. Part and parcel of the service provision dance that we all have to do in order to make bank. Know your lines here, obviously, and don't like. work for nazis. or uh.. *shudders* exposure. but be nice and empathetic and communicable and word will travel eventually. Skill may be in abundance these days, but good people are most certainly not, and capitalism has a way of bubbling up scarcity. Grim, but uh, them's the breaks.

I know I'm ultimately telling you to like. Have a body of work, make a portfolio, grow, and network. But that's really how I see it for now. And being nice can be a cherry on top that sets you apart, along with the inherent irreplaceable voice of your artwork. I think I rambled on enough, but if there is something specific you need my help with, even if you want to come off anon and talk in private, please feel free.

#anon #asks #long post #sorry I cant actually condense ideas better :(

[dawn-of-tomorrow]

shoutout to @punishing-gray-raven-ocs for this ask game!! (didin't expect to be tagged with one so soon lolol but i'm overjoyed~~ ｡ﾟ(ﾟ´Д｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡❤️❤️)

1) What made you even think of trying Punishing Gray Raven? What made you stick with it?

Funny story actually-- I've long heard about PGR, way back when it was first released even, but I just didn't give it a chance back then mainly because it was in CN and I couldn't understand shit (rather ironic given how I am now lmao).

As for why I decided fairly recently, a couple of months give or take, to give PGR a shot? It's mainly due to the fact that I heard that the Global version would be out very soon, so I thought why not dive into what I've missed so far... not knowing that I'd become THIS obsessed with the game, aha~.

The most obvious thing that made me stick to this game are the interesting cast of characters, the "fun" story, the amazing yet simple game mechanics, and etc. etc.

2) What problems, if any, do you have with PGR?

Honestly speaking, the thing that most VEXES me at the moment about PGR, specifically PGR Global, is the wonky translations. It feels like a group of half-assed fan translators and one official translator who's not doing a good enough job with reigning everyone in instead of feeling like a group of professional translators who know what they're doing. Hell, I've seen better translations from some of my twitter mutuals!

3) Who is your favorite Construct, and why?

Lee. There's no question about it, Lee is my most favorite Construct at the moment (and forever perhaps ohoho~). As for why, god, hold that mic for a bit, I'm gonna go on a fucking rant. Ehem.

First of all, let's start with the most basic of things, like his appearances; As Palefire, he looks like this suave, very aloof, super serious, unapproachable, and "gets shit done efficiently" type of person, and while that description certainly isn't wrong, it's also hiding more layers of Lee's overall personality; as Entropy, he certainly looks and feels bit more casual than before, along with feeling somewhat more, even if a tiny bit, more honest with his feelings and easier to approach than before.

Despite being a serious, no-nonsense, grumpy guy, he's prone to occasionally quip and snark at anyone at their own expense especially if they get on his nerves (see his interactions with Kamui, not even the Commandant is spared from this!). He's also not as cold and distant as he may come across, given that, early on, he quite literally jumps in front of Liv to take a hit that was meant for her with absolutely no hesitation whatsoever, he's almost always the first person to make comments on the Commandant's state as well as express his undiluted feelings (though not without hiding it on occasion behind anger/annoyance, thus making it a case of "anger born from worry").

You can also easily tell if you pay close enough attention to his dialogue and actions that he's not good with expressing his true feelings even to the people he cares about (thankfully Murray, Skk, Lucia, Liv, Kamui, etc. can usually pick up on what he really wants to say), is the type to often be misunderstood due to him being the kind of person who believes in "actions speak louder than words", that he's used to taking care of others instead of prioritizing himself even to his own detriment; while making it clear that he prefers to think and act in a logical and practical manner, he's not exempt to having emotions/feelings, as such, he can be pretty empathetic towards other people even if he doesn't look like it (he's even the first one in the Gray Raven squad to point out WHY EXACTLY the people they come across in Echo Aria refuse to leave their homes even with high risk of the Red Tide washing everything away, and fully understanding as well as getting it).

Alrighty I'm gonna cut that segment short now before this becomes too long for anyone to read through, ehe~!

4) What made you think of designing PGR OCs, instead of making yourself into a self-insert?

.... Actually, truth be told, both of my Skks are, in some way, self-inserts~. It's just that they start out as one before eventually developing into their own characters with only hints/traces of their self-insert origin. Though my Construct OCs are definitely not self-inserts, that much I can certainly say so!

I made them mainly because I really enjoyed the official cast so much I wanted to make characters that would get to interact with them somehow, though I take great care in making sure they aren't TOO out of character with how they're canonically portrayed.

5) What's your thought process behind creating your OCs?

Honestly, it usually starts of something like this--

"lol wouldn't it be funny if I made this type of character? Oooh, what if they interacted with this character? Or this character? Or that character? Let's see, what's missing... Backstory and profile, check. Appearance, I'll sketch one in a bit. Hmmm... I know! *drowns the OC in mountains load of angst*"

6) What's your favorite chapter from the main story?

If I'm limited to talking only about the main chapters currently released on Global then it would have to be Fallen Star, mainly because it's Watanabe's time to shine~. (*´∀｀*)

However, if we were to look at the overall chapters, then, I would have to say Imprisoned Sight.

7) What do you think of the new Liv shown in the latest stream? Where do you think the story is going with her? What do you think happened to Gray Raven?

With Liv, I have a really bad and somber feeling about what Kuro Game has in store for her, given how she looks almost complete different than what she's looked so far, as well as the vibe her new look gives off.

Fuck, I wouldn't be surprised if they decided to thanos snap her memories away as well like they did with Lucia, or worse, infect her with the Punishing and turn her into an actual enemy (for a while before we get her back).

As for Gray Raven, considering what happened at the end of Evernight Beat, wherein the Skk is in a fucking coma with a chunk of the Mother Structure lodged in their abdomen, while Lee and Lucia are in repairs along with Liv, and, if I recall correctly, the Merciful One managed to reach Babylonia and is now onboard the space station as well-- I have a feeling that the despairing Liv will be approached by her and be given a new frame.

8) Have you seen the animated shorts? What do you think of them?

If you're talking about the Panini anime then yes, I've watched them already! Still ripping my insides open from laughter everytime I watch them lol. Favorite episode has got to be the toilet episode, next to that would be the episode where Chrome takes Kamui to Karenina and Liv for training.

9) So do Constructs eat or not? (I'm really confused, especially since I saw Karenina sipping a drink in one of the shorts)

Oh they most certainly can! Fuck, it's even explicitly stated that Camu likes to eat and sample foods whenever he can (revealed in his secrets, as well as his affection stories).

As Camu explains, while they don't get nutrients from human food, they most certainly can still enjoy them and use them as a type of fuel.

10) Do you think Kamui and/or Camu will be a really pivotal plot device at some point, considering how the information on Kamui is so top secret?

Hmmmm.... unless the story at that point is revolving around Kurono Ops and how shady they're being, then personally speaking, the chances are slim.

11) Do you think, at any point, any of the Gray Ravens will die off?

Naaaaaah. They won't do that. Sure, they TECHNICALLY killed off Lucia, but she's still "alive" in a sense, so it both counts and doesn't count.

Besides, sometimes death isn't the worse thing you can inflict on someone/a character~.

12) Who is your least favorite Construct, and why?

I don't really hate/dislike any of the Constructs if I'm being honest. Though I hate how shitty of a unit Sophia is, and that it's kinda pitiful that she's become even more useless now that the new S-Liv is here; but I am in no way saying you should stop using her, keep using Sophia if you really like her! It's your choice after all, and I'm not about to contest you on that part, after all, everyone's enjoyment is subjective.

13) What part of PGR's lore really holds your attention?

The part of the lore that really holds my attention are the characters, and seeing how they react and act to the situations happening to and around them, especially concerning the Punishing and forces out of their control~.

#punishing gray raven #pgr #战双帕弥什 #戰雙帕彌什 #パニシング #パニシンググレイレイヴン #mun speaks #mun yasu #mun ramblings #ask game #ask #ask box #ask box open

[redinkofshame]

 1. How many works do you have on AO3?

17! My favorite number.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

178,176. Dang!

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

@theDuckPond Solavellan slow burn? smlungst, 62,553 words

New Life papae!Solas with lots of smut, 6606 words

Marigolds in the Hanged Man Varrigold! :D Varric/Marigold, 43,527 words

(3.5 is Dreaming With You (Solas x Reader), but I’m only a partial writer on that one so I’m not counting it.)

Labor and Loss papae!Solas with lots of sad, 4097 words

Kirkwall Karaoke f!Fenhawke drunken shenanigans, 7023 words

Wow I wasn’t expecting my karaoke fic to be on this list! And you guys really like your papae!Solas :D

4. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

I do, yes, because when I leave comments it gives me anxiety that only seeing them reply fixes and I want to do that for other people. Unfortunately back when I updated every week (lol) I got in the habit of replying to comments when I posted something new... So now when I go a long time without posting a new chapter I leave the comments on read for a long time. Sorry guys!!

5. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Honestly? This Nonsense. (Link is to a long series of messages to @keturagh at 3am, no joke.) 

But, since then, I’ve figured out an alternative ending that’s much happier. I can’t help it. I want happy endings.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending?

As per #5, all of them lol. The first one that came to mind was Marigolds, but honestly my soulmate au Vhenaslin feels the fluffiest to me. 

And, of course, there’s this one ;) 

7. Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written?

I haven’t, not yet :( Like, I like the concept but no combination I’ve thought of has given me even the slightest bit of inspiration.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yep! I received one that was something like “Congrats! You’ve written the most insufferable OC I’ve ever read!!” and it was fucking hilarious because it was on, like, chapter 6? You read 6 chapters about a character you didn’t like and somehow it’s my fault?? lmao

There was another one I can’t remember, too, and twice people have called Elle a bitch. All of these happened to Elle from Duck Pond, so if that’s not a glowing recommendation~

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

ROFL yeah that’s why I’m here. Like literally why I joined the fandom. 

Everyone I’ve written is m/f and not particularly kinky but pretty damn explicit. Sometimes I do fade-to-black or gloss over for pacing, but mostly... Yeah. There’s smut. let Solas nut

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of. Sure af hope not.

11. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope. At least, not that I know of!

12. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes! There was a Solas x Reader post on tumblr that people were reblogging and adding a little more too, and I guess that the foreplay went on too long because @keturagh sent it to me like ‘you’re the expert of getting the P in the V!’ and I’ve never written Reader fic before (or since) but who am I to disappoint!! 

Then someone compiled it all and put it on AO3 here. I don’t have a damn clue where my writing begins -- other than I got the P in the V lol. Every once in a while I get a notification of a comment or kudos on it and  every SINGLE time I’m like

13. What’s your all-time favorite ship?

Very clearly Solavellan. Though I’m also very into Opal/Nik from the Minimum Wage Magic books by Rachel Aaron. I listened to the audiobook because Patrick Weekes shared their reading list on twitter once and it was on there and I’m a HUGE sucker for juxtaposition. Gets me every time. 

I’ve since read uuuhhhh almost everything Rachel Aaron/Bachs has read, and there’s lots of great stuff in there, but MWM is still my favorite series of hers by far. My own personal Couch AU. 

14. What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will?

Uuhhhh.... So many? Or more like I’m scared I never will, in any case. I started drafting a list of my WIPs and it got... long. I can’t think of any I made a deliberate choice to never finish. There’s only 1 fic that I wrote that I didn’t post.

15. What are your writing strengths?

Dialogue, pacing, and sex~ 

I consider my dialogue my biggest asset as a writer tbh

16. What are your writing weaknesses?

WRITING THE WORDS DOWN and also how do plot?

17. What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

In the fandom there’s a tendency to write lines in elvhen and then put the translation at the end and yeah no it drives me bonkers. It completely destroys the immersion and pacing for no pay off. I’m not going to scroll down to understand your story. I just read it straight and try to figure out what’s going on based on context. 

I stick with the well-known canon lines that most of us obsessed fans know by heart. I think sometimes I put a translation in there for newcomers, maybe? One time I used a feature on AO3 where you can hover your mouse over the work and it has like a footnote? that you can use to translate. But I immediately stopped bc #1 I don’t know how that works on mobile and #2 it really doesn’t seem like that’s going to work with screen readers. But otherwise I just say ‘they said in elven’ or have the narrator translate it themself for the reader. 

Also, a lot of people use the elvhen translations from that BNF’s project and like... If you WANT him to say ‘I want to paint you with my cum’ then just have the courage to say it straight! 

18. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

lmao Harvest Moon. Yeah. After that was Tamora Pierce (modern girl in Tortall yep). Then was like a 15 year gap until I got frustrated at the slow pace of the romance with this egg in this game so I wanted to see if there was smut... (Cue Googling: Is FanFiction.Net still a thing?)

19. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oh gosh. Hmm. I love all my girls, but Duck Pond was/is a major work of love. Unlike my short works I really had the chance to explore more in a full length fic, you know?

(Marigolds is also full length but it was my first fic and there’s some spots that I’m not too proud of.)

That’s all the questions but I’m adding:

20. What’s a fic you’re proud of that hasn’t gotten much attention?

because I want an excuse to mention how hard I worked on Kirkwall Noir and how I’m surprised how little readership it’s gotten. It’s Varric! It’s Marigold! It’s super short, unlike most my stuff. Maybe that’s why people don’t like it?

Hmm, I also used a AO3 pen name, but it would still show on my page, right? 

Thank you for the tags, @roguelioness and @thevikingwoman !!  Consider yourself re-tagged so you can answer #20. Also tagging: @blarfkey @broomclosetkink @elveny @bardinhightown @keturagh​ @luzial​