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greyeyedmonster-18 · 2 years

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Hi Grey.

If you ever have the time I would really like ti hear more about your writingprogress.

Like. How do you come up with your ideas? Do you do a outline? Where and when do you write? Are you finishing all your stories before posting them? Do you fact check things? How long time does it normally take for you to finish a story? Have you ever regretting posting a story? Why do you write? Do you have a beta?

Youre one of my favorite authors here and I’m really just curious of the mind and work behind the story’s that I’ve spent so much time with.

weeping. I'm one of your favorites???? what the hell??? thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you for being so nice. that just made my day.

i am going to put the answers to all those things below a cut to not spam my dash with a long post. but also, i shouldn't give writing advice ever and while i appreciate you asking your questions, everything with a grain of salt. because...i know absolutely nothing and this is just what I do. (and also, im an affectionate idiot so <3)

How do you come up with your ideas?

often my ideas start with a very very specific image in my mind, and then i go from there. sometimes they happen while im listening to a song (for example, FFTF happened because I was listening to Since We're Alone by Niall Horan and there's a line in there that says Why would you want to be someone else? I love you best when you're just yourself and an entire wolfstar narrative exploded, but i had to figure out how Sirius would be guarded in this particular way and....here we are) or sometimes when im on a walk or driving. also, as a total cop out, i write romance-- i get ideas from making foolish scenarios in my mind where people should fall in love and I'll never have a shortage of those.

Do you do an outline?

No! I don't. Once I have the idea, i usually start by writing the specific scene that came to me first (so for ten reasons, i wrote the voicemail scene first. i heard remus's voicemail in my mind so loud and clear and wrote it out) and i go from there. this is for my own unpacking but i almost always can see how things end in my mind before they begin (lol, isn't that a fucking metaphor; for a fun personal fact, I've always said since i was like...very little that i wasn't planning on living past 33, which is horrifying to hear out of a ten year olds mouth, but like...i still think its true). for almost all my fics, i wrote the ending first and then wrote around it. never chronologically. just everything that i want to happen and then i put it in some sort of order (i wish i could show you my doc for tight ends right now). and then i make them lead into one another.

I DO. however, do an obligatory chapter count. and i mean, so arbitrary, with no thoughts applied to it. NMTW i literally said 14 chapters, and stuck to it. this is the only structure i give myself when i write. and its my job as a writer to make sure i fit in there.

i do the same when im writing tumblr series. so like fault lines got SIX, chosen at random, and six it was. it was my job to tell that story in six parts. no more no less. (this is admittedly weird, i understand most writers dont work this way, but this actually helps me immensely. the only time i deviated was with FFTF when i added more chapters because the chapters i did have ended up being like TOO LONG in my eyes for a chapter, so i broke them up).

but also--i know other authors who DO outline and its helpful for them!! Find what works for you!!! I tried to outline once and the fic never left my drafts.

Where and when do you write?

To quote Shakira, "Whenever, Wherever"

I write a lot in parking lots on my phone. a lot of my tumblr drabbles are written on my phone and in a parking lot, ten reasons and tight ends were both started in parking lots.

otherwise on my desktop! in google docs! or if its smut, in a word doc! i write the best early in the morning or super late at night when i should be sleeping. I write when i can! Usually at my desk, or i'lll bring my laptop over and write while my kid is playing video games or we're watching something on tv. sometimes i write in the middle of my work day when i have a second in my office (this is also very quick and very on my phone). i just wrote smut at a nail salon. whenever, wherever.

Are you finishing all your stories before posting them?

yes. head to toe, top to bottom, signed sealed delivered. the stories are written before i post. this works better for me! i need to see the whole thing finished!! it also makes it very fun for me when readers are commenting and are like...in anguish, and im there like "tee hee, i know what happens next".

tumblr drabbles no. i pants those. fault lines, mercy, the pact (is part four written? nah but its started and i have no idea where its going to go!!!), the best worst thing to have ever happened-- PANTSTED. sat and written flat into the tumblr post machine. no outline, no plan, just feelings and vibes. (and yes this means that the end of fault lines was a pants decision and im very sorry it ruined everyone, whoops).

this again varies from author to author! most of my writer friends write as they go because they like to be align with the readers! or they work better chronologically and will just write and post and write and post, but again, this is something personal! do what works best for you!

Do you fact check things?

Lol sometimes? I probably should more often, tbh. I do a lot of geography fact checking because i couldn't map my way out of a paper bag, but otherwise, not...really. But also, my fics dont tend to have a lot of....information in them that needs a fact check. People are just falling in love. also, not to flex, but i have a big brain that stores a bunch of useless information and remembers a lot of things, so if i write something i usually believe myself (writing tight ends right now and putting my football knowledge to good use and there's been a few times I've been like "...hmmm" and referenced google and WE WERE RIGHT! so i mostly just trust my brain.)

Writing NMTW was also challenging because i had to reference SOURCE MATERIAL to see if there was a designated teacher for x subject, or when exactly school breaks were etc etc. but that said, i did not care about being accurate with full moons or course timestables or hogsmeade visits or anything like that. we...simply do not care. (this obviously does not apply to things that very much need fact checking such as if i were to write a medical procedure or something relating to disability or race/ethnicity/languages spoken; obviously do your homework for that.)

How long a time does it normally take you to finish a story?

Cop out-- it depends! Sometimes less than a week. (The pact is short, will be done by tomorrow most likely). I wrote ten reasons in four days. it took me 3 months to write an alleged wip though. it just....depends on my time and my schedule.

Have you ever regretted posting a story?

Sometimes! There was a moment when i was fresh on AO3 (pre-tumblr) where i got a few really nasty comments and it made me regret posting the story at all and made me regret joining AO3, and made me regret thinking my fics could be a thing or that my writing was worth sharing etc. I know I give FFTF a hard time because they're....out of pocket, but there are parts of that fic i really really like, and it seems to connect with a lot of people, so i can't have regrets about that.

i have deleted a few one shots off my AO3 though, because i decided they didn't need to be shared, but i wouldn't necessarily call that regret. just...re-evaluation.

Do you have a beta?

No. I do have one trusted person though who i send things to before i release them into the public, not as a beta but as.....a litmus test (to see how the fic reads but also for me and how i feel about sharing it in the first place; I've done it before with this person where they got something and then WEEKS later tumblr got it. Sometimes months.). I 10/10 recommend doing this. and i feel so so so so so so lucky that i found someone like that here and they tolerate my existence. but pre-tumblr, it was just me myself and i doing the thing. and also it took some time before i even trusted this person (did i mention im paranoid? and private?) to get my work because you can't take it back. and what if it didn't need to be shared? there are a few things this person has gotten that i havent and will never post. but like...im so fortunate to have that. you know?

I...am way too chaotic for a beta. and also have a very particular way i edit my stuff (because ND) and adding another person into the flow of that can get confusing. Too many cooks, you know?

Why do you write?

i saved this one for the end because my heart.

i think i've said before that like...a lot of my time as a child and a teenager and young adult in spaces was spent believing that i was a bad writer because neurodivergent and i don't understand mechanics of grammar or...words or...write in a way you're supposed to (outlines for example). and spent a lot of time giving my ideas to other people who i thought were GOOD writers.

but i...am a creative person. and sometime in 2019, i hit the biggest artist block of my life where i literally didn't draw or paint for a year. and picked up writing instead.

poetry, and then it evolved into romance, which i...turned into fic and here i am. and ultimately, i write because i like to. because its creative and it makes my brain happy when a sentence just hits, you know? because i believe in love and want to see more queer love stories and if i...can do the thing, i should, right?

i write because i...realized that i had stories in my head that needed places to go that i couldn't express visually through my artwork. also, ive mentioned it here before, that i am...young and have experienced an absurd amount of death and loss in my life (personally and professionally). and...well, i write a lot of fics about grief for that reason. i don't think i could ever run out of words for this (and have also published ACTUALLY on grief, both creatively and academically), and sometimes i write to like...sit with those feelings for a bit.

i...also think i write because i am a soft human in a very hard world in a hard career path who experiences things deeply and these things and observations need places to go. i cant carry them around all day, that's too heavy and my hands aren't big enough.

so i make art. and i dance. and i play music.

and i write.

i hope any of this is helpful. and if you get the courage to come off anon, i am more than happy to talk with you in DMS about processes or answer any more questions <3

#asks #grey answers #on writing #this is long long long long #and probably no one but this one person cares #but its here for you!!!#also anon i love you and i am cradling your head in my hands #and wishing you all the luck on your writing journey

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superchocovian · 2 years

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Me on Tumblr...Tag game

I saw this done by @clarkgriffon and I like to avoid things that I should actually be doing. I also found a tag from a while back from @jlsadphoenix that completely got lost (so sorry about that!!) so here I go!

1. Why did you choose your url?

So when I first made my account on Fanfiction.net, I was just getting into Doctor Who and I thought it’d be cute to include my favorite sweet, so I became Chocovian (still there as that on Fanfiction and AO3, but it’s a long story). Anyways, when I joined Tumblr, I wanted to keep things consistent so I kept that but I was also on a bit of a Marvel binge when I was joining, so I thought, ooh superheroes! which combined with what I had initially became superchocovian.

2. Any side blogs?

Nah. I’ve thought about it, but everything is just dumped into this one blog and I do my best to tag everything so at least it’s semi-organized.

3. How long have you been on tumblr?

I first made the account the summer before I started college, I think, so back in 2015? I wasn’t very consistent with it until a few years later when I downloaded the app on my phone and figured out how to work things.

4. Do you have a queue tag?

No tag for the queue, though I do use it for mostly everything that is posted on my blog for the past few years. Anything else that I see on my dash ends up in my queue until I can organize it with my tags and all. It’s why I have wayyy too many posts in my drafts but now that school is over and once I get a job, I’ll have a better time at actually reblogging things when I see them instead of saving for later.

5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?

A lot of the fanfic authors that I was reading for The Hunger Games kept mentioning Tumblr for sneak peeks and updates about their posts and I’m like “yes please” and I caved and made my Tumblr.

6. Why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I was really happy that Emma and Killian from Once Upon a Time got their happy ending/beginning with their baby and I wanted to memorialize it. I should get around to updating it cause I’ve had it since the finale of the show.

7. Why did you choose your header?

All of the backgrounds that I have on my phone and laptop are of something nature/space wise so this fit right in.

8. What’s your post with the most notes?

I reblog mostly everything, so I have no idea. I did make a few gifsets last summer for one of the Once events so they got a handful of notes. Probably one of those.

9. How many mutuals do you have?

Not many? I don’t know how to check that or all, but I wouldn’t assume too many. I’m kinda stuck in a little bubble here and don’t interact with as many people as I would like to.

10. How many followers do you have?

Like 200 something? I had more before they did something to all the pornbots, so I’m pretty sure all of these are like actual followers, lol.

11. How many people do you follow?

I think like 100 ish?

12. Have you ever made a shit post?

Nah, I try to keep my thoughts off here. Just want to keep this a happy place for me.

13. How often do you use tumblr a day?

Way too much. More than I should.

14. Did you ever have a fight/argument with another blog?

No. Thankfully. Again, I’m not as “active” with other people so I don’t really get involved with fights and stuff.

15. How do you feel about the ‘you need to reblog’ posts?

I think that people shouldn’t try to force me to do things I don’t want to. I definitely think that people should reblog content that has been created (not steal by reposting) but the opinion stuff that needs to be reblogged or something will happen? Yeah, no thanks.

16. Do you like tag games?

Yes! I’ve been very bad at responding to them on time because of my timings with school, but they are great!

17. Do you like ask games?

Yes! I don’t get many asks when I do reblog the ask games, but I think that they are fun, for sure!

18. Which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

Though I’m not too sure what a mutual is defined as, the ones that I follow are pretty famous in the fandom, so probably fairly famous for the fandom side of Tumblr?

19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?

Not sure if they qualify as crushes, but I do love all the Tumblr friends that I’ve made!

20. No-pressure tags: Anyone who sees this is welcome to participate! I’m going to tag the first few people off my dash- @kmomof4, @djlbg, @sherlollyandspoilers, @scientificapricot, @onceratheart18, @elizabeethan, @antoniosbanderas, @swansandslayers, @ravenclawpride16 @lostintheskyfaraway, and @book-and-music-lover.

#tag game #jlsadphoenix

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survey--s · 2 years

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377.

1) What’re your plans for the weekend? It’s halfway through Sunday and I’ve done as little as humanly possible lol. Work has just been insanely busy over the past few weeks and I just needed a break.

2) Could you ever be vegetarian - why or why not? I could be, but it’s not something I would actively choose for myself again.

3) Name a quote from your favorite TV show: "And just so you know, it’s not that common, it doesn’t happen to every guy and it IS A BIG DEAL”.

4) What time did you wake up this morning? Around 7.30am but I didn’t get up for another couple of hours.

5) What chores do you do around the house? I mean, this is my house so, everything that needs doing really. The only things I don’t do are the lawn and the bins/recycling as I can’t do much heavy lifting or moving without hurting my back even more.

6) Do you like windchimes, or do they annoy you? They’re pretty, but they’d really annoy me if I had to live with them.

7) How much sleep do you usually get a night? On average about seven hours, give or take.

8) If you could have any outfit, cost not an issue, what would you get? I’d probably be really practical and pick an outfit I could wear riding and to work as that shit is ridiculously expensive.

9) Do you play any instruments? I can play piano and a few chords on guitar.

10) What song would you say describes your life right now? The Lazy Song - Bruno Mars.

11) Do you have snacks lying around your room? No, but.I do have loads of snacks available in the kitchen lol.

12) Did you get up to much today? If it’s morning, what are your plans? I got up around 9.30am, did the housework, had a shower, made a coffee and that’s about it, lol. The only thing I need to do tonight is go and feed Tommy and Millie but that won’t be for another 4-5 years now. 13) What’s your favorite animal to see in the zoo? Tigers, penguins, lemurs.

14) When do you start back to school or college? I haven’t been in any kind of education for over a decade now, thank God.

15) What other social networking sites are you on? Facebook, Instagram, Tumblr. 16) What was the best year of your life? I couldn’t pick just one year. Most years have had good and bad parts. 17) What plans do you have for the rest of summer? Summer is over lol, we’re already in autumn. I spent most of my summer working and horse-riding. It was...tiring, lol.

18) How old is the person you like right now? He’s 38 years old.

19) Do you get an allowance? How much? I mean, I’m an adult with a job lol. I earn about £1500 a month, give or take.

20) What games console is your favorite? What about favorite game? I don’t really play console games anymore, but I always preferred xBox to anything else, though the Wii was good too when it was new out.

21) If you could go anywhere right now, where would it be and why? An all-inclusive beach resort with a private pool so I could just switch off.

22) Do your parents nag you a lot? What about? I mean, not now I live alone, but when I was younger it was mostly about my room being a mess, watching too much TV and sleeping in too late.

23) What is there on the walls of your room? A couple of bookshelves, a mirror and two watercolour painting things.

24) Is there anyone that just really annoys you? Hahaha, oh yes. 25) What are your plans for tomorrow, anything good? I’m working, plus I have a riding lesson as well. Hopefully this one won’t be cancelled as I don’t want to skip two weeks worth of lessons. 26) If you could wake up tomorrow being able to do one thing perfectly, what would it be? I would make it so Archie didn’t have separation anxiety anymore as it would make my life MUCH easier and it would mean I could earn more money too.

27) You have two wishes to make to help the world, and one can’t be “another wish” or anything similar. What wishes do you make? Universal healthcare and no more hunger. 28) Do you reckon world peace is possible or are we just too selfish? Nope, I definitely don’t believe it’s possible. Humans are too selfish and shitty as a species. 29) Do you listen to Bright Eyes? Not anymore, but I absolutely loved them as a teenager.

30) Are you interested in politics, or do you just not care? I’m interested to an extent, but I cba debating it with people or anything.

#survey #surveys

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purplesurveys · 2 years

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1470

What’s your favourite flavour of soda, pop or whatever else you call it? No favorites, I don’t drink soda.

What level of brightness do you usually keep your phone at? It’s always at the brightest possible setting. It drives my sister absolutely insane and she likes to call me a boomer because of it hahaha.

Have you ever attended a religious or private school? I attended a school that ticks both these boxes for 14 years. All-girls, Catholic, private – that was a treat for my atheist, liberal, LGBT+ self lol.

Do you have any pets and are they cuddly? I have three dogs. The cuddliest one I would say is Aki, but he only becomes so when it’s nighttime and is able to behave next to me in bed. Cooper is pretty much restless 24/7 unless he’s in his pen; and while Kimi is more reserved than the two, he never was the cuddly type either and prefers to keep to himself.

What’s the worst job you’ve ever had? I’ve only had one job so far, but it’s nowhere near being the worst.

How many cars does your household own? We have two. We used to have three but we had to let one go during the pandemic.

Do you know anyone named Edward or any nickname of that? There are some mutual friends with that name. I also had a granduncle named Eduardo, but he passed away a year ago due to COVID.

What time do you usually have dinner? Around 7 or 7:30 in the evening.

Are there any cracks or scuffs on your phone? No. It’s fairly new but also the first phone I bought with my own money so I’m 600% careful with it lololol.

What’s your favourite meat? Beef or crab.

Do you need glasses to read or drive or need them all the time? I wear glasses because I'm nearsighted. < Hey, same. I say it all the time but I’m really nothing without my glasses haha.

How did you celebrate your last New Years Eve? I honestly can’t even remember. I think I just stayed home but I did spend time with family in the evening while we waited for midnight to welcome the new year.

Is the internet fast where you live? It’s fast for me, but I’ve heard more than once that the Philippines actually sucks when it comes to internet speed lol so it’s just somehing I’ve been used to, that’s why I think it’s fast.

What is your favourite meal of the day and why? Dinner, just because I skip breakfast and lunch all the time. I also tend to eat out in the evening more often.

Do you like long surveys or short surveys better? Medium ones are generally the best, though sometimes what I’ll do is take several short ones in one sitting and post them in one entry.

Xbox, PlayStation or neither? I live in a Playstation household, always have. We had the PS1 and PS2 in the duplex I lived in growing up, and currently we have the PS3 and PS4 in the living room. No PS5 yet.

Have you ever been to a cocktail bar? Yes.

Do you consider yourself a fast typer? Sure. It’s also kind of necessary in my work so you learn to be fast as time goes by.

What’s the best amusement park you’ve ever visited? Universal Studios in Singapore, so far.

Do you keep the cabinets in your kitchen and bathroom organized? Yeah. My mom hates mess on any level so everything is constantly neat.

Have you ever had a romantic fling? Nope.

Are you a very forgetful person? I can be, but for the most part my memory stays razor sharp.

What was the last movie you saw in the cinema? Knives Out in 2019.

How old were you when you got your first car? 17.

What colour is your shampoo? The bottle is white, if that’s what you’re asking.

Are you doing anything tomorrow? Nothing much apart from taking Aki to the vet, going to mass, and seeing my grandma and cousins at their place.

Do you know anyone who’s gotten pregnant over the age of 40? Yeah, I have a few classmates and friends whose mom had already been older than 40 when they had them.

Tell me a silly little wives' tale you believed when you were a child. That I couldn’t sleep if my hair was still wet.

Who does most of the grocery shopping in your home? Mom.

Have you ever been approached by someone in public preaching about religion? No, thank goodness. There were people like that who would loiter in my campus, but I was never approached by one of them.

Are you listening to music right now? If so, what’s the theme of the lyrics. Nah, I’m listening to a Run BTS episode in the background.

What was the last thing you had to eat? Fried eggplant with some rice.

#survey #surveys

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onedaymyflowergardenwillbloom · 1 year

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These are fun and I’m trying to avoid work so I’m filling out a questionnaire thing from when I was like 14/15 lmao...

TEN "ARE YOU'S": 1. Are you single? – Yes. 2. Are you happy? - Delusionally happy, but if I’m in reality no. 3. Are you bored? – I WISH BUT I’M AN ADULT WITH A JOB SO I REALLY WISH I WAS (honestly miss those days of boredom as a teen...I took those days for GRANTED). 5. Are you Italian? – Nope 6. Are you German? – Halfish...I’m biracial so on my white side there’s a lot of German. 7. Are you Asian? – No. 8. Are you French? – Maybe somewhere on the white side of my family? Though I doubt it. 9. Are you Irish? – 1% haha (this I do know) 10. Are your parents still married? – Yes. _____________________________________ FACTS 1. Hair color – Brown. 2. Hair Style – Long braids :) 3. Eye Color – Brown. 4. Gender – Fem-presenting cis woman 5. Lefty or Righty- Right. ____________________________________ TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE: 1. Have you ever been in love? – I’ve been in lust ;) but not in love. 2. Do you believe in love at first sight? – I don’t personally, but I know some people do and I’m totally on board with that. 3. Who is the last girl you talked to? – One of my best friends 4. Have you ever been hurt? Most definitely (unfortunately its just a part of life) 5. Have you ever broken someone’s heart? – Not that I now of 6. Are you in love? – Nope 7. Are you friends with your ex? – Yes, as it was one of those situations where we both realized that we are better off as friends then romantic partners. The breakup wasn’t dramatic at all and was a mutual decision from both of us. Now we are happy and friends. In fact my ex is married now and I’m super happy for them :). 8. Are you afraid of commitment? – YES 9. Have you hugged someone within the last week? – Oof no (yikes lol) 10. Have you ever had a secret admirer? – Yeah...and unfortunately it was mostly from creepy ass old men my dads age... _____________________________________ TEN THIS OR THAT: 1. Love or Lust? – I’mma be 100% honest and say lust...being a slut is too much fun. 2. Lemonade or Iced Tea? – Lemonade 3. Cats or Dogs?- BOTH 4. A few best friends or many regular friends? – A few best friends 5. Television or Internet? – Internet 7. Wild night out or romantic night in? – As a now 30 year old grandma I’d definitely rather have a romantic night in because going out is too much effort...if I were in college and in my early 20s I’d definitely say wild night out. 8. Pink or Purple? – PINK 9. Day or Night? – Night definitely. I’m a big night owl. 10. IM or Phone? – WOW THIS LIST IS OLD ASF...I don’t remember the last time I used IM XD. So definitely phone because who uses IM anymore xD. _____________________________________ TEN HAVE YOU EVER'S: 1. Been caught sneaking out? – Nope...fun fact, when I was 16 I snuck out once to go to a Slipknot concert with a goth boy I liked in hopes he’d notice me...he didn’t in fact..notice. In fact he ended up flirting with the other girl who went with us...OOF. 2. Fell down the stairs? – LOL, yes. 3. White water rafted? – Nope 4. Finished an entire jaw breaker? – Yes 5. Wanted something/someone so bad it hurt? - In a slutty way yes... 7. Skipped School? – Nope...I was too much of a goody two shoes in school to do that lmao. I also had African parents so there was NO WAY I’d be able to get away with that. 8. Wanted to disappear? – HAHAHAHAHAAHA as someone with diagnosed high-functioning depression hell yes... 9. Been to a concert? – Yes 10. Mailed a letter? – Yes _____________________________________ NINE PREFERENCES FOR THE OPPOSITE GENDER (WHAT IN THE HETERONORM IS THIS LIST LMAO! I’m still going to answer it anyway because its amusing): 1. Smile or Eyes? – Smile 2. Light or Dark Hair? – Hair color? The fuck xD. I will say though that if he’s a blonde adult its a big no for me... (LMAO WHAT ARE THESE QUESTIONS HAHAHA) 3. Hugs or Kisses? – Hugs (a lot of guys just don’t know how to kiss...sorry not sorry) 4. Shorter or Taller? – Lmao these questions..I don’t have a preference but I would not want him to tower over me because that’s just...super intimidating and uncomfortable for me. 5. Intelligence or Attractiveness? – Intelligence DEFINITELY, but both are important. Attraction to a certain extent is important (also important to note that attraction is subjective, as each person has their own idea of who they find attractive). 6. Dancer or Scholar? – I don’t know what it is about this question that is giving me “slut-shamey” vibes but I’d say dancer...cause if he’s a man and a scholar he’s probably one of those assholes who were philosophy/sociology majors in college who’d raise their hand in class and say some bullshit like “Not to be devil’s advocate but...” At least with a male dancer he’d have an appreciation for the arts and embraces creativity (which is a big green flag for me). 7. Hook-up or relationship? – Like I mentioned before, being a slut is more fun so hook-up. 8. Funny and poor OR rich and serious? Funny and poor. Rich and serious sounds like a finance bro who’d probably just gaslight me my whole life. He probably is deep within the manosphere too...so no thanks. 9. Play the guitar or into sports? – Play the guitar. I hate sports...especially sports culture... ____________________________________ NINE LASTS: 1. Last phone call? A couple days ago 2. Last phone call you received? A couple days ago 3. Last person you hung out with? Two of my best friends 4. Last person you hugged? My mom 5. Last person you IM'ed? AGAIN WHO STILL USES IM XD. Probably a high school friends waaay back in the day. 6. Last thing you ate? a salad 7. Last thing you drank? Water (remember to drink it folks!)

8. Last site you went on? Spotify 9. Last place you were? Work (still at work...) _____________________________________ RELATIONSHIPS: 1. Are you in a committed relationship? hahahaaha, nope! 2. Do you want to be? When I’m on my period, drunk, or seeing loving couples on social media yes...but most times absolutely not. _____________________________________ FRIENDS: 1. Do you secretly hate one of your friends? (these questions are toxic asf...being a teenager was a TIME) I could NEVER EVER EVER hate any of my friends. Pro tip...if you have a friend you secretly hate, they aren’t your friend. End the friendship because someone whose your friend should be your friend because you like them and you like being around them. 2. Do you consider all of your friends good friends? Absolutely! 3. Who knows everything about you? All my friends :) (all of them are special and lovely and they all care so much about me which I’m so grateful for). 4. Did you lie during this survey? Nope (if I did lie I wouldn’t have admitted that I like being a slut). _____________________________________ RANDOM: 1. Who were your last 4 texts from? My friends, World Market (gotta keep up with the sales), and my healthcare provider because like I said...I’m an old ass bitch, so I got a text from my healthcare provider to remind me of my doctor’s appointment coming up lmao. 2. Where was your default picture taken? AGAIN THESE OLD ASS QUESTIONS XD. No comment because who has a default picture nowadays... 3. How old are you? 30 and thriving...ish.... 4. What is your current mood? Anxious...cause I’m at work... 5. What's your mom's middle name? Phiri 6. What color shirt are you wearing? Yellow 7. If you could go back in time and change something, would you? HAHAHA HELL YES (so many scenarios are coming up in my head...). 11. Name someone with the same birthday as you? Shit...I have no idea...lol 12. When was the last time you cried? Over the weekend while playing Genshin Impact (some of those world quests have some of the most tearjerky plots...). 13. If you could have one super power what would it be? Telekinesis. 14. What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? As a pansexual person I find these questions SO OFFENSIVE now...but I’ll answer this one and then also talk about what I notice about the same sex...for the opposite sex the first thing I notice is their face...same with the same sex. 15. Favorite color? Pink or purple 16. Do you still like kiddy movies? Oh hell yeah! In fact I find some kids movies to be better than adult ones. 17. What's your favorite smell? Anything lavender or vanilla 18. Describe your life in one word? Delusional stability or organized chaos 19. What are you looking forward to the most? SEEING GHOST IN CONCERT IN AUGUST! 20. Who are you thinking about right now? Kaveh from Genshin Impact. I just finishing playing his little mini story side quest and so he’s been on my mind. Fictional men take up way to much space in my mind... 21. What should you be doing? HAHAHAHAHA...HAHAHAHA...work.... 22. Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? Lol my dad, we were having a debate and he kept talking over me... _________________________________ Where did you get the shirt you're wearing? My mom :3 Have you ever had a pet fish? Yep. Betta fish and some gold fish Does the future make you more nervous or excited? A mix of both Did you kiss or hug anyone today? Nope Do you believe that everything happens for reason? Sometimes. Do you have a best friend to lean on? Oh yeah, honestly I consider all my friends best friends :). Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of 2009? JESUS FUCK THIS QUESIONAIRE IS THIS OLD! I mean...back then I was like what....16? So I’m definitely a different person now for sure...seeing as I’m 30. Who's thinking about you right now? Probably my family, my boss and coworkers...probably others. Do you wanna see somebody right now? No as I’ve been working in an office for about 7sh hours now so my social battery is fried (my coworkers are very chatty...) In the past week have you felt sad? Thankfully no. Do you like cookies n' cream bars? The Hershey's bars? Yes to both! What eye color is the prettiest? Hazel or green eyes. What are you going to do next? Continue working until my work hours are finished, then drive home and play the new Star Wars: Jedi Survivor on my PS5

#lmao this was fun #this was made in 2009 so to fill this out as a now 30 year old in 2023 is WILD #personal #questions

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ploykantida · 1 year

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twenty fucking one

Kantida is twenty fucking one. Twenty one. This number is freaking me out a little bit because damn, I didn’t think I was gonna live to see it. Thank you, momma and daddy for this life. I am forever grateful. I haven’t felt so good this month (I've been a train wreck ok) so I thought why not write 21 things I’m proud of to kick start this beautiful age.

1. You’re still here. In one big beautiful piece.

2.You graduated high school technically 3 times. Who can say that? lol

3. You spent a whole year far far away from home when you were just 15. A Thai girl alone in Middlesex, North Carolina. God, that feels like a lifetime ago.

4.You are bilingual. More fluent than kindergarten you could’ve wished for. So many competitions growing up. You won some, You lose some you never gave up on it. You even taught kids English. Being other kids’ inspiration just like your how your favorite teacher was to you.

5. You made your whole family proud. You’ve been such a good girl from day one. Has nothing but good and love for your family from the beginning. Good job, Ploy.

6. You passed the entrance examinations for the best high schools in the country. When you wanted to be among the top 250 smartest kids in your country, you put your heart and soul into it, and you made it. You were just 14. Fourteen.

7.You got absolutely perfect gpa in high school. You worked so hard everyday with your best friends and you deserve it.

8. You were brave enough to get help. To be vulnerable. To learn to forgive and live and trust again.

9.You survived two years of covid girl I don’t know how you did that. Kudos to momma.

10. You gave him so much love. You saw the potential in that relationship and you were willing to give a piece of yourself and try to make it work. Even right now, you still do. Thank you, universe, for him. He’s the gift I received so early on in life and will keep near and dear to my heart forever. He gave me love the kind nobody will ever be able to recreate. Put me back together when I look around and see nobody else. The best of the best.

11. You are able to make such special friendship with genuine, loving, funny, charismatic, caring, smart, and so much more. With them, I know you’ll be able to get this degree.

12. You were the student council president when you were 17. Even though you were so scared of a crowd. So scared of speaking your truth. But you did ti flawlessly.

13. Then you managed to also be the presidents of two of the huge charity projects we had for school. You were able to help so many kids and brought those two schools so much joy

14. You got into dental school and not just any dental schools, the best one. Despite every obstacle in life, you’re here, sitting right next to a box full of dental material, countless pens for who knows what, neurology notes, two cups of coffee, and the opened Ipad that you kinda need to get back to right now but oh well. You’re living in the university of your dream. Of your family’s, your teachers, and your friend’s dreams. Of 7-year-old you dream. We’re graduating together and we’re gonna build this extravagant clinic for little Ploy that had been staring at Dental Land everyday on her way to school. We’re so close and I’m so proud to say that We have fucking made it.

15. You still paint. Still trying to put creativity in everything you do because you know the joy it gives you is unmatched. Keep going.

16. You finally got back into ballet!! The one thing you’ve regretted and yearned for for years and years. You finally muster up enough courage to take classes again lol

17.You became confident enough in the outfits and the accessories that you choose carefully to wear. Becoming the fashion girl you always drooled over from the magazine. Not ashamed of what you like. Just loud and proud.

18. You’re amazing at makeup. Gotta give euphoria for that courage and endless inspiration. You just have fun with it and post and create such fun and beautiful shoots.You’re the cool girl 15 year you wanted to be.

19. You wasn’t born with a sister but somehow you got one and remain having one since then. Call it luck or whatever but that girl is a keeper. Again, thanks universe, you know I needed her.

20. You live alone now at 20 well and 21 ofc lol Can you believe it? You used to be so scared of ghosts you can’t even go up to your bedroom alone when you were 12. Here you are, happiest in your solitude. Going to see movies by yourself, shopping by yourself, eat by yourself, protected in your own space. I’m proud of you.

21. You are, as we speak, writing something. Just like what you said you’d do in the career section of your school report. Yay

A lot of the time, I feel like a loser and feel like I’m never enough. But I’ll look back on this list I made on my 21st birthday and relive the glorious days of my younger years. I can hope this list will get longer and longer with time. Happy birthday to the girl I live most in the whole wide world. Happy birthday to the girl that never stop trying. I love you

- Ploy

30.01.2023

#bday #journal #diary #gratitude #2023 #aquarius #birthday

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justice4canyonmoon · 3 years

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Watermelon Sugar, Hi

Summary: On your 18th birthday, a clock appears on your wrist, counting down the time until you met your soulmate. Or, how operating cameras on the Watermelon Sugar set was the best job you ever accepted.

Notes: Hi!!! I’ve missed writing so much, but now that college is done for the semester, I’m back at it!! My last soulmate AU was v soft and fluffy, so I wanted to do one that was a little more...spicy. And since Watermelon Sugar has been winning lots of awards lately, I thought it would be a good subject. I also tried writing Harry’s dialogue a little different so it better captured his accent, so let me know if that actually worked lol. Hope you like it!!!

Warnings: smut!! 18+ only!!! vaginal fingering, hand jobs, a little dry humping, cursing, mostly dom! harry but a sprinkling of sub! harry too

WC: 4.8 k

January 6th, 2012

Turning 18 was a right of passage. It meant finally being an adult. That in most countries, you were old enough to drink. It meant graduating from high school and moving on to bigger and better things. Soon, the responsibility of your life would soon lie squarely on your shoulders. And, most importantly, your clock appears.

Everyone on earth had one. On your 18th birthday, a clock appears on your right wrist, counting down the time until you met the person meant for you. When the two of you would finally meet in person, it would beep, like an alarm clock, and you’d know for sure that you were meant to be. And in 2012, it was finally your year. You hoped that you were one of the lucky few that had mere minutes until your first meeting, but most likely, you would join the many who had quite a few years. The anticipation was killing you; ever since you had started your teen years, you were desperate for the day you would finally get your clock. That desperation could only be second to waiting for the day you actually meet them.

And now, the day you got your clock had finally arrived! You woke up at exactly 5:13 am, too anxious and excited to sleep well. When you looked down at your wrist, you gasped. It looked like a tattoo, the black ink that depicted a digital watch now etched into your skin. The small white lettering along the bottom read “years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds” from left to right. Above the lettering were bold white numbers, slowly ticking down.

8 Years, 0 Months, 3 Weeks, 1 Day, 2 Hours, 32 Minutes, 14 Seconds

Eight years. You sighed, not able to help being just a bit disappointed. Sure, you expected it to be a few years. But by a few, you were thinking three or four. Not eight! Though you were a bit downtrodden, you knew that the fates knew what they were doing. If eight years was what they wanted for you, then you would accept it, and be very excited for when the time arrived!

January 30th, 2020

The past eight years of your life were, in all honesty, not too shabby. After getting a degree in film, you moved to Malibu, California, and worked cameras for various commercials, music videos, and movies in the business. It was pretty cool, getting to be behind the scenes for so many interesting projects. Out of the three of them, you definitely preferred music videos. Movies, though really cool, were far too long, and commercials were kind of bland. And you got to hear music from some of your favorite artists, which was really cool!

Today was no exception to that. It was 4 am (you had to wake up early on shoot days to go set up), and you were yanking on light blue jeans, a yellow Fine Line t-shirt, and a lavender sweatshirt, thinking about how excited you were to help film Watermelon Sugar. You were a big fan of Harry’s music, and you couldn’t wait to work with him! You, of course, already knew the video’s concept, so ideas on how to film the scenes with the various models and fruit were running through your head. You were so lost in thought that you almost forgot to look down at your wrist.

0 Years, 0 Months, 0 Weeks, 0 Days, 3 Hours, 45 Minutes, 53 Seconds

You almost screamed in excitement, but managed to hold back; you didn’t think your neighbors would appreciate your excited outburst. You had almost totally forgotten that today was the day! And since the video shoot was starting at 8 am sharp, you had to be meeting your other half on the set! Maybe it was one of the beautiful models that would be making an appearance, maybe one of the sound engineers, or maybe one of the runners. No matter who it was, you couldn’t wait! Eight years had been far too long of a time to wait. You briefly reconsidered your dressed down attire, but figured you’d need the sweatshirt for the breezy morning on the beach. And since you were behind the camera, you didn’t really need to look like a movie star.

You ate a quick breakfast and practically sprinted out of the door. You carried your two duffel bags loaded with all of the essentials (some equipment was provided, but you also brought some of your own stuff) and stuffed them into the trunk, flung the car door open, shoved the key into the ignition, and drove as fast as you were able to without getting pulled over. When you pulled up to the shoot location a short time later, you glanced down at your clock once more.

0 Years, 0 Months, 0 Weeks, 0 Days, 3 Hours, 17 Minutes, 20 Seconds

Slowly but surely, it was getting closer. Soon, though, the thoughts on the forefront of your mind were how to set up the cameras for the shoot, talking with the director about what shots you needed for each of the scenes, and introducing yourself to the other members of the crew. You already knew one of the other cameramen, Jonathan; you two had worked together on a music video for Little Mix before, so you chatted with him for a little while.

You hadn’t even realized how many hours had ticked by when the on-camera talent began to show up. The models were beginning to get settled on the beach, strewn about in a perfectly thought-out way. Harry had arrived as well; you don’t know how you didn’t notice that, given that his outfit, consisting of a red striped shirt, a scarf, and ripped blue jeans, stuck out from the swimsuit-clad models. He was going around, greeting every single member of the crew. Suddenly, you remembered the little white numbers on your wrist, and risked a glance down.

0 Years, 0 Months, 0 Weeks, 0 Days, 0 Hours, 2 Minutes, 14 Seconds

Your heart leapt out of your chest. Your palms began to sweat, and your hands shook harder than they ever had in your life. In two minutes, you would finally meet the love of your life. It had to be one of the models, didn’t it? You had met every member of the crew already, so it definitely wasn’t one of them. You wiped your palms on your jeans and steadied the camera you were positioned at, trying to find something to do with your hands.

1 Minute, 27 Seconds

Jonathan came over to you and asked a question about the shot, something about how quickly he should zoom out. You barely were able to respond, too focused on what you knew was about to transpire.

0 Minutes, 52 Seconds

Holy shit. You were going to throw up. You had never been more excited, yet terrified in your life.

30 Seconds

Harry was greeting the camera operator that was stationed beside you, and as Jonathan walked away a short time later, Harry approached you.

1 Second

Wait. There was no way-

“Hello! ‘M Harry! Thank you f’ bein’ here, I appreciate it very much!”

No fucking way. Literally no way. You had been waiting your entire life for Harry Styles? Your clock had to be making a mistake. But you heard the telltale beep coming from your wrist, and if you listened hard enough, you could hear his, too. You were fully expecting to wake up from a dream, or for Fate to pop up saying “Oops, just kidding! I messed up, let me fix your clock for you, dear.” But nothing like that came. Instead, you locked eyes with the handsome brunet in front of you. His gaze was intense, yet kind; if he was going to look at you like that for your entire life, you think you might faint.

“Thank you for the opportunity! I’m honestly a pretty big fan of yours,” you admitted.

The warm smile on his face grew wider, “Thank you, love! On another note, did your clock jus’ run out?”

You nodded, the lump in your throat preventing you from speaking. He reached for your right hand, skimming one of his long fingers over the clock that had just ticked down its final seconds. Gently, he tugged your wrist up to his lips and brushed them over the area, making you shiver. Though it was a bit breezy on the beach, you knew that this wasn’t from the chill.

“I’ve been waiting eight years f’ this,” he murmured against your skin, “probably the best early birthday present I’ve ever gotten.”

“I-I’ve been waiting eight years, too,” you whispered, wanting to keep the moment as between the two of you as possible.

He lowered your wrist back to your side, but linked his fingers with yours, rubbing soothing circles across the back of your trembling hand with his thumb.

“S’ okay, love. Don’ need to be nervous. ’M really happy t’ finally meet you. What’s y’ name?”

You gave it to him and he grinned, “‘M name’s Harry! Of course, you already knew that, but it feels like I should introduce m’self. Feels right in the moment. Anyway, it’s really nice t’ meet you!”

You giggled softly, his goofy personality already putting you a bit more at ease, “It’s really nice to meet you, too.”

“Styles! Need you on set!” shouted the director, popping the bubble the two of you had found yourselves in.

Harry wrapped you in the tightest hug he could muster and remarked, “Wish y’ were on camera instead of behind it. Love to have y’ there.”

You could feel your face grow warm as he freed you from his embrace. He pressed a light kiss to your cheek before jogging on set, amongst all of the models. You could hardly believe it! This had to be some kind of fever dream. But when you pinched yourself, you didn’t wake up. You had really met your soulmate, and it was really Harry Styles!

Throughout the shoot, Harry shot rather suggestive glances your way. He wiggled his eyebrows, winked at you, bit his lip, and when he sang “I want your belly,” he looked directly into your eyes, making your neutral expression falter from the intensity of his gaze. He was getting to you, and he knew it. When you took a break for lunch, he flirted shamelessly, making sure you knew how beautiful he thought you were. Between the flirtatious comments, though, the two of you started to really get to know each other; the goofy side of his personality that he showed earlier started to shine through, and you didn’t think you had ever laughed as much as you did today. A future with him didn’t seem so far-fetched to you anymore.

At the end of the shoot day, after filming Harry and the models running around the beach at sunset, you were packing your two duffle bags into the trunk of your car. The heavier one was lying on the ground, and you were lifting the other one into the trunk.

“Wan’ any help w’ those?”

You jumped, almost dropping the bag in your hands “Geez, Harry, you scared me.”

He grinned sheepishly, grabbing your other equipment bag and placing it in the trunk, “Sorry, love. Though y’ heard me comin.”

“It’s fine. And thank you,” you gestured toward the bag he put in the trunk.

He waved, “S’ no problem. Gotta help m’ soulmate out. Speaking of which, y’ doing anything tonight’? I’d love t’ get to know y’ even better.”

The suggestive glance he was throwing in your direction told you what exactly he meant by “getting to know you.” And honestly, with the way he had been looking at you all day, it was a miracle that you didn’t jump him already!

“I’d like that. I live fairly close to here if you’d want to come to mine,” you suggested.

Though you were sure he was living out of a swanky hotel, if this was going where you thought it was going, you wanted your first time with your soulmate to be in one of your homes. And yes, maybe your apartment was small compared to the estates you were sure he owned, but you knew you would feel more comfortable at your place.

His dimpled grin turned into a smirk, “Sounds good t’ me, love. Lead the way.”

You typed your address into his GPS, just in case the two of you got separated on the drive to your place. Though your place was only 20 minutes away, it took nearly twice that with traffic! It’s like the universe knew how desperately you wanted to get home! Thankfully, you made it back, and Harry wasn’t too far behind, pulling into the space beside you at your apartment complex.

You exited your car and popped the trunk, grabbing one of your bags. Harry seemingly materialized out of nowhere and took the other bag for you. You thanked him and he grinned in response, reaching for your hand with his free one and linking his fingers with yours. You smiled bashfully and gently tugged him up the stairs and to the front door of your apartment.

“Have any roommates we have to worry abou’?” he questioned.

You shook your head, “Jasmine’s visiting family in Canada for a few weeks, so we’ll have the place to ourselves!”

He leaned down so he was level with your ear and tugged on the lobe, murmuring, “Good. Don’ think she’d like listening to what I plan on doin t’ ya.”

You didn’t think you had ever been more grateful that your roommate was out of town.

Harry licked the shell of your ear, then moved to press kisses to the side of your neck as you attempted to get your keys out of the side pocket of your equipment bag. Harry was making it very difficult, but you managed to find them and wrench it into the door of your apartment. Harry stopped his teasing when you gestured for him to enter your apartment. It was a decent size for the rent; the living area was open concept, with the kitchen to the right and the living room to the left. The kitchen had brown cabinets lining the wall, and there was a small island in the space. The living room was furnished with a couch, loveseat, and ottoman, as well as a coffee table. The TV was mounted on the wall, and below it was a terrarium, where your pet snake, Leia Corngana, named after your favorite Star Wars character, lived. Off of the living room, there was a balcony (you lived on the third floor), where you had two chairs and a small table. It was quaint, and more than enough space for both you and your roommate. You couldn’t help but feel a bit insecure, though, since you knew Harry’s place was definitely much bigger.

“Y’ apartment’s nice. It’s homey, I quite like it,” Harry complemented, glancing at the pictures of both you and your roommate’s families on the walls.

You smiled appreciatively, “Thank you! Would you like a drink? Something to eat? All I have in terms of alcohol is cheap wine, but you can have some if you’d like.”

You both knew that the offer was just a formality, but you still asked.

“Maybe next time, love. ‘M a bit too impatient,” he declined.

You nodded and took his hand, leading him down the hallway. You passed by the bathroom, hall closet, laundry room, and your roommate’s bedroom until you reached yours at the end of the hall. It was the bigger of the two bedrooms; you and Jasmine had flipped a coin for it and you just happened to win. On the wall opposite the door, there were two small windows, and you quickly closed the blinds. Though you were on the third floor, you didn’t want to risk anyone seeing what was about to occur. One wall was mostly covered by the closet, and across from the closet was your bed, with the headboard against the wall. A nightstand sat between your bed and the window. The walls were painted a dull white (you weren’t allowed to do any painting), but you made up for it with the colorful posters and tapestries that adorned them.

Harry closed the door behind you, but didn’t lock it, given that the two of you were alone. His eyes met yours from across the room and you swallowed hard. Now you were wishing that you had worn something a little nicer; your attire wasn’t exactly sexy, and you thought he might find it weird that you were wearing his merch under your sweatshirt. Oh well, no turning back now.

Harry crossed the room, almost akin to a lion stalking his prey. His movements were utterly hypnotizing, and you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. His on set clothing was long discarded for a pair of grey sweatpants and a t-shirt, neither of which left much to the imagination. In this moment, you were grateful for that, admiring the way the shirt was stretched across his pecs and how you could clearly see the beginnings of a bulge forming through his pants. He stopped when he was directly in front of you, and he tilted your chin up so you were looking him in the eye.

“Are y’ sure this is something y’ want? Don’ wanna push anything if you’d rather wait,” he asked seriously.

You swallowed again and nodded, “I do. I really do, Harry.”

That was all the confirmation he needed before his lips were on yours.

Everytime someone talked about kissing your soulmate for the first time, they said that you would feel sparks, that your stomach would turn into butterflies, and you’d be hard pressed to find another feeling that matches it. You had always thought that sentiment was rather cheesy, but when Harry kissed you, everything they said was 100% true. Your stomach was fluttering, and you knew that nothing else in your life had ever made you feel like this. You melted into the contact, draping your arms around his neck and throwing every fiber of your being into the kiss. You felt him smile against your lips, and his arms snaked around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer. This first kiss was sweet and loving; no move was made to deepen it, all the two of you wanted was to feel your soulmate’s lips against yours.

Unfortunately, you were the first to pull away, needing to catch your breath.

Harry cocked a lopsided grin at you, “Don’ think I’ve ever felt anything like that before.”

“Me neither,” you replied, returning his grin, “it was just as good as I heard it would be, no matter how cheesy it sounds.”

He chuckled and brushed his thumb over your cheek, “Definitely. Honestly would be fine to jus’ kiss y’, but I have better plans for us.”

You took his wrist and guided his thumb to your mouth, sucking on the digit and delighting in the way his eyes darkened with lust.

“Dirty little thing, aren’t y’?” he murmured, pushing his pointer finger in to join his thumb, “how do y’ look s’ fuckin hot just suckin on ‘m fingers?”

He pushed his fingers a little deeper into your mouth, drawing a whine from your lips. You could already feel the heat rushing between your thighs, clenching them together slightly to try and relieve some of the tension.

Harry smirked at you and returned his fingers to your hips, pulling you in for another kiss. If the first one was soft and sweet, this one was exactly the opposite. It was utterly filthy, your toes curling in the Vans you were still wearing as his tongue licked into your mouth. You couldn’t stop the whimpers from falling from your lips even if you tried, especially when his hands travelled downwards to cup your ass. He guided you to stand against the wall, already towering over you as he pressed you into the surface, a few groans of his own gasped out against your lips. You could already feel his hard-on pressing into your core through his sweatpants; the feeling was already making you embarrassingly wet. And when his hips ground into yours, sweet moans escaped your lips as you met him halfway. Soon, his lips disconnected from yours only to attach to your neck. He trailed kisses down the surface, and when he reached the base, he sucked a dark mark into the skin. You whined his name as he punctuated the mark with a slow grind of his hips and a calculated squeeze to your ass. Your fingers were clutching at his shoulders, and even through his shirt, you were sure you would leave a mark.

“Harry, please,” you gasped, hardly knowing what you were begging for, but knowing you needed him to touch you more.

You felt him smirk against your skin as he murmured, “What d’ y’ need, ‘m love? I’ll give y’ anything if y’ ask nicely f’ it.”

Fuck. You had never really been into the whole dominant act with any previous sexual partners (it was common to sleep with other people so that by the time you found your soulmate, you knew the sex would actually be good instead of being fumbling virgins), but somehow, on Harry, you found it scorchingly hot. Your pussy was throbbing with need, personifying your desperation. At first, you weren’t quite sure what to beg for, but when you felt his hands give your ass another harsh squeeze, just thinking about his fingers gave you your answer.

“W-want your fingers, Harry. P-please, n-need you to t-touch me so badly.”

You had never been this close to incoherent so early in a sexual encounter before. You knew your soulmate already held you in a tight grip, even though you had only met that same day!

“Need me t’ touch y’, lovie? Need me t’ stretch that pretty pussy open with m’ fingers?” he taunted, brushing his fingers over the fabric of your jeans.

“Please, please Harry,” you begged.

“Okay, love. All y’ needed t’ do was ask. Should get y’ out of these pesky clothes first, though,” he relented, not wanting to tease too much.

He released his hold on your ass, moving his hands up to remove your sweatshirt. You nearly forgot what shirt you were wearing until the sweatshirt was removed and he was smirking at you, his own merch adorning your body.

“Like your shirt,” he gently teased.

“Oh, shut up,” you groaned, “didn’t exactly think that you’d see it.”

“It’s flattering, love. Suppose y’ did say y’ were a fan,” you could see the gears turning in his head as he finished his response, “might keep that on y’. It’d be kinda hot to fuck m’ girl in m’ merch.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, “Someone’s got an ego.”

He smirked, “I think I’ve earned it.”

Though he kept the shirt on, he kneeled down and removed the Vans you had forgotten to take off. You shivered when he looked up at you, a heat in his eyes that you had never seen before as he unzipped your jeans and slowly slid them down your legs, revealing them to him. Teasingly, he trailed feather-light kisses up your left calf, stopping at the top of your thigh and giving your right leg the same treatment. By the time he stood up, you were absolutely soaked, the wet patch on the front of your panties giving away how desperate you were.

Instead of taking off your panties like you expected, he just pushed them to the side and tracing his finger up your slit, smirking to himself as he felt the wetness there.

“S’ wet f’ me already,” he murmured, bringing his now wet finger up to his mouth and licking it off, “taste s’ sweet, lovie.”

You whimpered as he returned his finger to your core and finally pushed it inside of you. His other hand gripped your hip, digging his fingers into the supple flesh as he fingered you slowly, wanting to draw it out as much as possible. You were gushing around his finger, your hands digging into the fabric of his t-shirt to ground yourself as he worked you over. Sounds you had never even heard yourself make before were spilling from your lips on their own accord, and Harry was drinking them in. He crooked his finger inside of you, relishing in your shaky moan.

“P-please, Har. N-need more, p-please,” you whined, tiring of his slow pace.

“Suppose I did say I’d give y’ whatever y’ wanted if y’ asked nicely,” he said casually, pretending to think it over as he sunk a second finger into your heat.

Your knees wobbled and you threw your head back, nearly slamming it into the wall as the pleasure increased tenfold. But even in your slightly hazy state, you knew that you wanted to give Harry something, too. So, you blindly reached for his sweatpants, tugging them down and shoving your hand into his briefs. He moaned lowly, his motions in your pussy faltering slightly as you gripped his length in your hands and began stroking it. Even though you couldn’t see his dick, you could tell it was big, bigger than any that you had had before. You circled your finger around the tip, collecting the pre-cum that had begun bubbling out and used it for a bit of lubrication, returning to stroking his shaft.

“Fuck, baby. Y’ hand feels s’ much better than mine,” he gasped out.

You felt your face grow warm from the praise and sped up your motions, relishing in the groan that tore itself from his chest. By now, Harry had collected himself slightly, and continued pumping his fingers in and out of your pussy as his lips met yours in a sloppy kiss. You whimpered into the kiss, barely able to reciprocate as the pleasure shot through your body. You were so fucking close, you could feel your release bubbling in your tummy.

“So close, Harry,” you gasped into his mouth.

“Me too, lovie. Y’ hand just feels s’ good,” he moaned in response, redoubling his efforts in your pussy.

Even though you knew it was coming, your orgasm still took you by surprise when he swiped his thumb over your clit. Your legs trembled as you moaned into his mouth, dripping down his fingers and ruining your panties. You tried to keep moving your hand, but the intensity of your orgasm forced you to stop your motions as the pleasure washed over you. Harry worked you through it, murmuring soft things about how good you were for him, and how pretty you looked when you came.

When you finally came down from your high, you knew you had to help Harry reach his. Your other hand tugged his briefs down his thick thighs, revealing his cock. You never knew a cock could be pretty, but his was, long and thick and ridiculously hard. The head was red and throbbing with need, precum still spilling out. You swiped your thumb over the head again, relishing in the squeak that escaped his lips.

“B-baby,” he gasped, “please make me cum.”

You smirked a little bit, enjoying how pliant he had become, “Need me to make you cum, sweetheart? Need me to keep pumping your cock?”

“Y-yes. Fuck, need it s’ bad. P-please,” he whined.

“You’re so pretty like this, begging me to cum,” you whispered, “loved it when you were telling me what to do, but I think you like me being in charge just as much.”

He nodded wildly, “Yes, y-yes. I do, lovie. S’ much.”

You sped up your motions, making him cry out, “Then, do it, Harry. Cum for me.”

His eyes closed and he whined your name as he came to his high, his head slumping onto your shoulder. You worked him through it, telling him how good he had been for you. When he came down from his high, he brushed his lips against yours. This kiss was much more like the first one, gentle and loving.

When you pulled back, you looked into the moss green of his eyes as he said, “That was so good, love.”

You nodded in agreement, “It really was.”

“Give me a minute, then we can go for Round 2? Really wanna taste y’, lovie,” Harry suggested.

You nodded and kissed him again. You knew that you were in for a long night. It was about time the two of you made up for the eight long years you had to wait for each other.

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #harry styles x you #harry styles smut #harry styles fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles one shot #dom!harry #sub!harry #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic

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jilyss · 3 years

Note

Sure, yeah, I can accompany you to that black tie event for your work tonight. Wait. Why are we on a red carpet? Are you famous?

thanks for the prompt!! i tried to keep it under 2k but that clearly did not happen lol

read on ao3

James Potter to Lily Evans at 3:14 p.m.: hey can u call when u get a sec

Lily Evans to James Potter at 3:18 p.m.: sry i was with a pt, what’s up

James Potter to Lily Evans at 3:19 p.m.: i have a favor to ask

It was 3 p.m. on a Friday and Lily Evans was just barely sitting down to eat lunch. She’d sat down in the empty breakroom, kicked up her legs onto a nearby chair, and just barely bit into her sandwich when she had seen James’ text. She replied a few minutes later, too hungry to type anything coherent.

When he called a minute later, her mouth was full of food. She swallowed quickly and pressed the accept button. “Hello?”

“Hey Evans,” he said, and Lily smiled at the sound of his voice. It had been a few months since she’d talked to him. She wished they lived closer, but she had just finished her residency in Manchester and he played football for Arsenal in London, and they were both so busy they didn’t have the chance to get together often. But they were the kind of friends who were able to pick up exactly where they’d left off every time they caught up, and Lily had missed him.

“I saw your game against Southampton last week.” Lily popped a crisp in her mouth. “Nice goal.”

She could practically hear his smirk through the phone. “Watched me, did you?”

“Remember that guy I told you about? The one I was talking to?” James hummed in agreement. “We went out for a drink and the game was on. I try to catch most of your games, but my schedule is a little - .”

“- Crazy, I know,” James laughed. “Are you still with him?”

Lily shifted the phone to her other ear. “No, we kind of just stopped talking.” She didn’t want to tell him that the real reason she had stopped talking to him was that before he found out that Lily knew him, he’d spent several minutes badmouthing James. Once he was finished, Lily gave him a quick rundown of the various ways he was an asshole, and then promptly left. She wasn’t a big fan of him anyway, and that had kind of sealed the deal.

“Well, good - I mean, so sorry about the bloke, Evans - but I have a problem.”

Lily waited for him to continue, and he didn’t make her wait long. “There’s this event for work. Sirius is out of town, and I would ask my mum, but she went to the last one and just isn’t up for another late night yet, so if you aren’t busy, and I mean, only if you want to -”

Lily interrupted, laughing. “What do you need, James?”

“There’s this black-tie event I have to go to. It’s not a big deal, and we wouldn’t have to do anything. Would you want to go with me?”

Her eyebrows raised and she was a little surprised. “When is it?”

“Two weeks. It’s a Saturday.”

Lily pulled her phone from her ear and tapped on her calendar icon. She had that Saturday, Sunday, and Monday off. She considered her options, but there was really only one. Of course, she wanted to see him because it had been months, and she was never one to say no. She would just need to go shopping sometime before then. “Ok, sure.”

“Really? Brilliant, thanks, Evans.”

They chatted for a few more minutes until Lily’s lunch break was over, and she had to rush off to her next appointment. She sent a quick text to Marlene asking for her help with dress shopping, packed up her lunch and left the breakroom.

James Potter to Lily Evans: hey, mum got wind of you coming down to london and would luv to see u

Lily Evans to James Potter: EUPHEMIA

Lily Evans to James Potter: of course!!!

Lily Evans to James Potter: i could come down a few hours early

James Potter to Lily Evans: actually do u wanna stay the night? we prob won’t be done until late and it’s a long trip back

Lily didn’t hesitate.

Lily Evans to James Potter: yeah! I love ur mum and it’s been way too long

James Potter to Lily Evans: sweet, ill see you in a few days x

Lily closed the door to her apartment, locking the door behind her. She made her way down the stairs and out to her car, carefully hanging her dress on a hook in the back seat. She’d originally planned on just taking the train down, but it would be faster to drive, and she didn’t want to worry about keeping her dress wrinkle-free on the train.

When she arrived at the Potter’s house (though it was more like a mansion) a few hours later, a wave of nostalgia hit her. Lily and James had become friends at uni, and their friend group often went to the nearby Potter’s house for a home-cooked dinner. Lily had especially become close with Euphemia, James’ mother, and used to go over even when James wasn’t there.

She pulled into the large driveway and parked the car before grabbing her bag from the backseat. Before she could even get to the door, Euphemia swung the door open and pulled her into a tight hug. “Lily, dear, it’s been too long!”

Lily dropped her bag and hugged her back, excited to be back. “I’ve missed you, Euphemia!” Over Euphemia’s shoulder, she saw James running down the stairs towards them. Lily swallowed hard as she saw him. He was somehow even taller than the last time she had seen him, and football had definitely been good to him. Normally, he lived in a flat closer to his training facility but had returned to his mum’s house for the night.

As James approached, Euphemia let go of her and James immediately grabbed her into a hug. “Alright, Evans?”

Lily grinned into his shoulder, feeling his arms wrapping all the way around her. She squeezed him extra tight once before pulling away, then put one arm over Euphemia’s shoulders. “I’m doing good!” She glanced over her shoulder at her car. “I’m not sure when we have to leave, but I left my dress in the car, should I…”

“I’ll grab it.” James stuck out his hand and Lily handed him the keys. He was out the door in a second, and Euphemia steered Lily into the kitchen.

“Congratulations on finishing your residency, Lily! Or really I should say congratulations, Dr. Evans.” Euphemia winked at her. Lily blushed and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She still wasn’t used to the title, and even though she knew she had fully earned it, it still felt a little unreal.

“Thank you, I’m just glad to be done.” Lily took a seat at the counter, leaning her arms on the counter. Euphemia plopped a pastry in front of Lily, who took a bite without hesitating. She was an excellent cook who was always making something, and on the drive down, Lily had secretly hoped that today would be no different. “This is the best thing I’ve ever tasted. It’s blackberry filling, right?”

Euphemia nodded. “Now that you’ve finished your residency, are you planning to stay in Manchester?”

James walked in and tossed Lily her keys. Lily shrugged, casting her eyes quickly towards James. “I’m not sure. I love Manchester, but I’ve missed London more than I thought.” She took another bite of the pastry, chewing quickly. “I have a job now up there, but I’m not too attached yet.”

“Remus is planning on moving back here,” James cut in. “He just finished his masters, and has a job lined up here already.”

“I wish I got to see him before I left.” Lily glanced down at the counter. “I know I haven’t been able to visit a ton, but hopefully I can now.”

Euphemia patted her hand, eyes twinkling. “We know you were busy with your program, but you could make it up to us by moving back here.”

“Mum! Don’t guilt-trip her.”

Lily laughed and finished off her pastry. “I’d do anything to be closer to your baking, Euphemia.”

“I’ll make your favorite custard tarts every day, Lily.”

“Done.”

James snuck a blackberry pastry behind his mother’s back, holding a finger over lips to Lily. She grinned at him before turning back to Euphemia. “You know, the only reason I agreed to go with James is because I wanted to see you.”

Euphemia clutched her hands over her heart. “I always knew you were my favorite, Lily.”

Lily sent a wide smirk at James, whose mouth was so full of pastry he couldn’t retort back. Euphemia glanced at a clock. “James, what time did you say you were going to be leaving?”

James checked his phone. “The car is coming at six. We’ve got about an hour.”

Lily raised her eyebrows and moved to the sink to wash her sticky fingers. “I need to do my hair.”

“You know who else needs to do their hair?”

“Mum, for the last time, my hair is fine.” James dodged his mother’s attempt to smooth out the tangles on his head.

Euphemia turned to Lily, hands on her hips. “Don’t you think he needs a haircut?”

Lily pursed her lips at them, staring at James. “Actually, I think he looks good with that mess. Hides the rest of his face.”

James tried to flip her off just as his mother turned around, saying “Nevermind Lily, you aren’t my favorite”, and was rewarded with a swat from an oven mitt.

She grinned at him and headed back to pick up her bag by the front door. “Can I use your bathroom?”

Euphemia pushed James towards Lily, smiling and muttering something about James’ hair. He grabbed her bag from her and walked up the stairs. “Mum put you in the guest room next to mine. There’s a bathroom in there you can use.”

Once they’d arrived, Lily expected him to disappear into his room until she was ready. Instead, he sat on the carpet next to the bathroom, looking up at her. They started talking, Lily curling her hair as they talked. It was nice catching up with him, and Lily had a hard time concentrating on getting her hair right when she could watch James through the mirror.

It was a quarter to six when she glanced at her watch and realized he was still wearing jeans and a sweatshirt. “This is a black-tie event, right?”

“Shit, yeah, I’ll be right back.” He jumped up and closed the door behind him.

Lily put the finishing touches on her makeup - which was relatively simple because any makeup skills she used to have basically had disappeared in the past few years. James had brought up her dress bag, and she unzipped the bag and pulled it out. Luckily, it was still wrinkle-free, and in a few seconds, she had wiggled into it, zipped it up, and slipped on her shoes.

Somehow, James had made it downstairs before her and was talking quietly with his mum in the kitchen. Lily walked in, heels clicking quietly, and they turned to look at her.

She heard Euphemia’s quiet gasp and James’s soft ‘woah’. Blushing again, she did a little turn. She was wearing a silver floor-length dress paired with black heels. It was relatively simple, with small straps and a waist that hugged her hips and then dropped straight to the floor. Marlene’s eyes had practically bugged out her head when Lily had tried it on, and judging by the way James was looking at her right now, it was a good choice.

James hugged his mum and made his way to her, holding out his arm. “You don’t clean up too bad, Evans.”

Lily took his arm gratefully. “Oh, this old thing?”

Behind them, Euphemia was insisting on a picture, and Lily put her head on James’ shoulder, smiling for the picture. But Euphemia took a second to get her phone ready, and James tilted his head to whisper in her ear. “You look amazing, Evans.”

Euphemia, finally ready, held up her camera and Lily didn’t get a chance to respond. She hoped he didn’t notice the goosebumps that had popped up on her arm when he had said that. She snapped the picture, and then, arm in arm, they made their way out the door.

Lily had been expecting an uber, but instead, it was a small limo with a chauffeur. She gave James an odd look, who just opened her door for her and helped her in. Lily waved goodbye at Euphemia, and the driver took off.

“So what is this event for, James? I don’t think you ever told me.”

James tugged at his tie. “Uh, just an awards ceremony.”

“An awards ceremony?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Are you getting an award?” The driver slowed to a stop, and Lily could see a long line of cars in front of them.

“Uh, no.”

“Are you just being humble?”

James tugged at his tie again. “No, I’m definitely not getting an award.”

Lily frowned as the driver inched forward again. She could hear some yelling in the distance, and she glanced out front again. “You’re one of the best on the team. Didn’t you say this was some team event?”

“Uh, no, I never said it was a team event.”

Lily glanced out front again and saw a team of photographers running towards the noise. Her heart rate started to pick up. “James.”

He looked at her, half smiling and half nervous. “Hm?”

The car inched forward again and now Lily could see a red carpet going up a flight of stairs. She looked outside the window and realized exactly where they were in London. As she connected the dots in her head, her eyebrows raised.

She rounded on James. “What’s this event called?”

He had a bit of a smug look on his face as he answered. “The Brit awards.”

“The Brits? As in, famous award show with lots of famous people, the Brits?” Lily hissed. She smacked him on the shoulder with her purse. “Are you’re just telling me this now?”

He winced slightly. “Yes?”

Lily groaned and sat back in her seat. They were only a few cars away from the red carpet, and she could see the crowds of people all around. “You aren’t a musician.”

“No, but they usually invite a few athletes. David and Victoria Beckham are usually here.” He shrugged. “They invited me this year.”

Lily smacked his shoulder again. “I cannot believe you didn’t tell me this. You said it was no big deal.”

“Well, I’m not getting an award or anything, so it’s really not a big deal -” Lily shot him a look and he stopped talking.

He ran a hand through his hair, tousling his brown locks. “Look, Evans, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I kind of thought you would just figure it out?”

Lily tried to stop herself from smiling, but it was just so James that she had to laugh. He had an ego the size of England, but at the same time, was somehow humble enough to think that getting invited to a giant award show was no big deal. But she didn’t have time to process this new information before their car was at the center of the red carpet, and a man in a suit came to open their door.

“You alright?”

Lily took a deep breath and nodded. James slid out first, then held out a hand for Lily as she climbed out of the car. She stood carefully, adjusting her skirt and then, with shaking hands, reached up to fix James’ tie. He grabbed one of her hands and squeezed it. “We can go back if you want. I really should have told you, sorry Evans.”

“I’m a doctor, James. I have no clue how to handle this.”

He squeezed her hand once more. “They’re going to love you. Just follow me, yeah?”

Lily returned his squeeze and turned to look at the flashing lights of the cameras and swarms of people. This was way different from what she had been expecting, but she definitely wasn’t going to leave now. She took another deep breath and turned back to him with a smile. “Do you think Lewis Capaldi is here?”

He grinned, ran a hand through his hair one more time, and led her up the red carpet.

An assistant led them through the carpet, although James was so charming and charismatic that they didn’t need the help. They smiled for pictures, a few serious ones with James’ hand on her hip, and a few with his arm more casually over her shoulder and her head leaning on his arm. James had a few interviews, which mostly focused on what he was excited to see inside. A few reporters asked who she was, and James introduced her each time as “my friend from uni, Lily Evans.”

They even asked her a few questions, curious about this mysterious girl James Potter had with him. Lily blushed each time, but his steady presence next to her helped her remain calm and collected, but by the time they were inside, she felt even more out of her comfort zone.

Their assistant led them to their table and then waved goodbye. Their table was so far empty, and since James wasn’t up for any awards, they were towards the back, which let them spy on the stream of celebrities, musicians, and assistants.

Lily was still shaky, and that only increased they watched Stormzy, surrounded by assistants and friends, take a seat at the very front. Normally, Lily wasn’t afraid of new situations, and usually, she thrived in them, but she just hadn’t been prepared for this. James noticed that she was still a little nervous, and as she took a sip of her drink, he put a hand on her bouncing leg. “You alright?”

His hand, warm against the fabric of her dress, only made her more nervous. She smiled at him and internally resolved to enjoy the experience. How often would she get to be in a place like this?

An older couple joined their table a few minutes later. The husband was the manager of James’ team, and James introduced Lily. A few minutes later, they were joined by more people, and Lily and James got pulled into two different conversations, but James’ hand never left her thigh.

A four-course meal was served as the performances started, and everyone clapped after Mabel performed “Don’t Call Me Up”. There was a crowd by the stage for the cameras, but Lily noticed that not many people seated at the tables were standing up for the performances. James and Lily were seated on the side of their table, and after glancing around, she realized they wouldn’t block anyone’s view.

When Lizzo took the stage, Lily jumped to her feet, grabbing James’ wrist. “Stand up!”

He didn’t hear her at first, and she bent at the waist to speak into his ear. “Stand up!” He popped up next to her, putting one arm around her shoulders again, while she wrapped her arm around his waist. They danced like no one was watching, swaying back and forth together, although they certainly got a few odd looks. Lily was laughing at his singing (he knew every word of all of Lizzo’s songs), finding that she had a hard time focusing on the music when he was so tall and warm next to her. They sat down again a few minutes later, but James’s hand stayed in his pockets.

The award show eventually ended, and Lily and James stood outside, waiting for their chauffeur. But there was a long line, and after a few minutes, Lily looked up at James. “Want to get a little ways away and call an uber?”

He immediately nodded and followed her, one hand in his hair. They made their way out of the building, James occasionally getting stopped by someone he knew or when he got recognized. By the time they were out into the night air, it was nearly one am.

“I’ll call the uber,” James said. He shrugged out of his suit jacket and swung onto Lily’s bare shoulders, and she smiled gratefully. A few taps later, he tucked it into his pocket and pointed down the street. “I said we’d meet them down there. There’s too much traffic back there for them to get through.”

They were quiet for a few minutes as they walked side by side. There were still quite a few people out, but for the most part, they were left alone.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what we were going to.” James kicked out at a loose rock on the sidewalk. “I guess I didn’t think about it.”

Lily pulled his suit jacket a little tighter around her and shrugged. “I had a lot of fun. A little nerve-wracking at first, but I’m definitely not mad you invited me. I just didn’t know you were so famous.”

He frowned. “I’m not famous.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Huh. Then how, exactly, did you get an invitation to the Brit Awards?”

He shot her a smirk. “My thick thighs.”

“James Potter, your mum was right, you need a haircut to humble you.”

A car pulled up next to them and James checked the license plate quickly before opening her door again. “So you agree, I have thick thighs.”

Lily waited for him to climb in before she continued. “You have thick thighs but I’m not sure why that would help you get an invite.”

He shrugged nonchalantly, turning to face her in the backseat. “Raw sex appeal.”

Lily’s eyebrows raised even higher. “Raw sex appeal.”

“Mmhm. Raw sex appeal.” James put his hand over the back of her headrest, causing his shirt to pull tight against his torso. Lily had to pull her eyes from the outline of his muscles, and when she met James’ eyes again, it was clear he had noticed.

“Well, that can’t be it. You don’t have a single drop of that.”

“That’s not what my mum tells me.”

“Your mum tells you that you have ‘pure sex appeal’?”

“Evans - “ James tried, but Lily had won their little battle of words, and there was nothing he could do. “Alright fine, it was not my sex appeal.”

“Glad we finally agree on that.”

Euphemia was in bed when they got home, and Lily and James crept upstairs to change. Lily changed into shorts and a sweatshirt, tossed her hair into a bun, and decided taking off her makeup was a later problem. James beat her downstairs again and was standing in front of the open refrigerator.

Lily snagged another blackberry pastry, groaning as the sweet taste filled her mouth. James turned around with half of a sandwich in his hand. He walked into the pantry and grabbed some glasses and red wine before moving to sit next to her at the counter. Lily shifted to face him as he pointed to his legs.

“I wore shorts just so you could see my thick thighs. And raw sex appeal.” Lily glanced down to see a pair of very muscular thighs hidden behind grey shorts. She swallowed hard and bit into her pastry.

“If you say so.”

There was quiet padding behind them, and Euphemia walked in, wrapped in a bathrobe and hair in curlers. “Oh! I’m so sorry, did we wake you?”

She shook her head, squinting in the kitchen light. “I wanted to ask you how it went.”

Lily didn’t hesitate to throw James under the bus. “Your son told me this award ceremony was no big deal.”

“No!” Euphemia gasped. “You didn’t tell her it was the Brits?”

James shrunk slightly under his mother’s glare. “I may have forgotten to mention it.”

“And he told me he has raw sex appeal.”

“Is that so?” Euphemia turned to James, hands on her hips, but the laughter in her eyes made it clear that she was enjoying embarrassing him. James just shot his mother a winning smile, and Euphemia turned to Lily. “Did he treat you right?”

“Oh yes, a perfect gentleman.” But just as she said this, James' hand crept back onto her bare thigh, his thumb rubbing light circles under the table. Lily’s stomach flip-flopped.

Euphemia winked at them and pointed to the kitchen. “Help yourself to anything in the kitchen, dearie. James, stay out of the ice cream, I’m saving it for tomorrow.”

James kissed her on the cheek as she left, then grabbed the wine and glasses. “You want to go outside?”

Lily grinned and moved to grab some blankets from the living room. James was bent over the firepit on the back patio, and in a few seconds, had managed to start a warm fire. She handed him a blanket, scooting her chair close to his and wrapping herself up. He handed her a glass of wine then settled back into his chair.

“Coming out here was always my favorite thing to do at your house,” Lily said. “It just… it just felt like one big family.”

James fanned his fingers out over the flame. “How long has it been since we were all together? Like three years?”

“Four,” Lily said quietly. “We haven’t all been together since graduation.”

“We’ve come a long way since then.”

“Yeah.” Lily shifted in her seat. Then she asked a question that had been weighing on her mind since he had called her. “Why did you call me?”

She expected him to give her a joking response, but to her surprise, he took a minute to think. “I missed you. It’s been a while.”

“No girlfriend? No pretty famous person who is sliding into your dms?” Her voice was teasing, but it was a genuine question. James had it all - fame, money, talent, looks - why did he ask her to go with him on the red carpet?

He laughed lightly and shook his head. “C’mon Evans, you know that’s not me.”

He was right - Lily couldn’t see him ever actually caring about his fame. It just wasn't him. Sure, he had an ego, but he’d matured so much since freshman year of uni, and Lily had been more than impressed with him on the red carpet. “You handled it so well today. Everyone loves you. ”

“Everyone loves you, Evans. You had less than thirty seconds notice that you were going on a red carpet and you adjusted in what - ten seconds?”

Lily stayed quiet, taking a sip from her glass. “We’ve grown up a lot since uni, haven’t we?” He didn’t reply, just staring into the fire. Lily continued. “I don’t know if I could have done it tonight if it wasn’t you with me. You just made it easy.”

He shrugged. “I used to go to a lot of events with my mum and dad.”

Lily wanted to reach out and shake him and tell him that no, it was just James that was so charismatic and caring and charming. He didn’t seem to know the effect he had on people - had on her - that made them open up and happy -

And then all of a sudden, Lily realized just exactly what her feelings were. The reason she had a hard time taking her eyes off him or kept having to fight the urge to just hold his hand, and why she suddenly did not want to go back home.

Her eyes flicked at him, tracing the lines of his face and watching the light dance on his hair. James seemed to sense that she was watching him and glanced up at her. She just smiled softly and pulled her blanket tighter, heart pounding.

James downed the last of his drink and stood up, brushing off his pants. “I think I’m going to head to bed.”

Lily was a little surprised at his sudden decision, but felt a yawn coming on and stood up with him. James extinguished the fire, Lily grabbed the wine bottle, and they headed inside. They were mostly quiet, but just before Lily entered her room, she pulled him into a tight hug. “Thanks for tonight. I’m glad you invited me.”

James wrapped his arms around her and Lily could feel her heart rate increase again. He didn’t pull away, but she was worried that he could hear her pounding heart and didn’t linger. She waved goodbye to him, then went into her room.

The blanket was still hanging on her shoulders, and she buried her nose in it, leaning against the door. She closed her eyes, breathing in deeply. Tonight had not been anything like she had expected, and she was incredibly grateful she had said yes. But there was a problem. She hadn’t anticipated her newfound feelings for James and had no idea how or when they had started. All she knew was that she was going to kick herself for months if she didn’t tell him how she felt.

But the problem with that was she had no idea if even liked her. But thinking back on the night, Lily hoped the hints he seemed to be dropping really were hints and not just things close friends do. Like the way he had held her hand on the red carpet, the way he kept putting his hand on her thigh, or the way he had looked at her when she’d first come downstairs.

Lily tilted her head back to rest on the door, gave herself a mental pep talk, threw open the door to her room, and marched across to James’ bedroom. She knocked quietly on the door, and he opened it a few seconds later.

“What’s up?” he whispered. Lily took a tiny step forward and he stepped back to let her inside. She stood only a few inches away from him, the blanket still wrapped around her.

“Why did you call me?” her voice was so quiet that she barely even heard it. “You never answered my question.”

“Evans…”

Lily’s mouth twitched upwards. She took a small step forward. “I think you can call me Lily now, James.”

He opened his mouth and then clamped it shut. He seemed to be fighting himself internally, and Lily couldn’t handle it more. She closed the gap between them, standing on her tiptoes and pressing a rough kiss to his mouth. He didn’t respond, and Lily pulled away, feeling her stomach drop. She looked up at him, trying to gauge if she had just made a terrible mistake.

She was just about to step back, ready to apologize, but his dark eyes flashed and his hands reached out to grip her face and pulled her back. The blanket slid to the ground as Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him down to her, and the warmth of the blanket was lost. One of his hands moved to grip her hip, the other on the small of her back, pulling her against his chest. His warmth replaced the chill as Lily moved one hand to play with his hair. He groaned against her lips as she tugged on it, tilting his head back so that she could press needy kisses along his jawline.

He stepped to the side, pulling her with him towards the bed. The back of her knees hit the edge of the bed, and she immediately sat, grabbing onto the collar of his sweatshirt and pulling him down with her. The rough movement made their noses knock together, and Lily just laughed as James pulled away a little ruefully to rub it. Lily took advantage of the space between them to pull his shirt over his head, and as soon as it was tossed to the side, James dropped back to her, warm fingers trailing up her sides.

“You think your mum heard us?” Lily was lying under the covers with her head resting on James’ arm, one hand tracing the lines of his stomach.

“Way to ruin the mood, Evans. I love talking about my mum right after sex.” Lily laughed as he buried his face in a pillow. She reached out to play with a strand of his hair. James pulled his face out of the pillow to look at her. “You weren’t exactly quiet, were you?”

Lily blushed violently as he shifted to kiss her neck again. James had excellent stamina, what could she say? He seemed to know exactly what spots got to her, and it quite possibly had been the best bloody shag of her life.

Not that she would tell him that - she didn’t want his ego getting any bigger. Instead, she shifted onto her elbow, letting the sheet slide down to her waist. She smirked as his eyes slipped downwards and he swallowed hard, letting his hands wander freely. Pulling her hair out of her face, she bent down to pull him in a needy kiss, and that was all the prompting he needed to roll on top of her again.

After getting back so late and an active night, they slept in late. Lily woke up first, with James sprawled out on the bed next to her. She watched him for a minute in the soft morning light, then got dressed enough to quietly pad across the hall and back into her room. She showered quickly, scrubbing off last night’s makeup, then dressed in shorts and an oversized shirt.

The kitchen was empty, but Euphemia had left a note on the counter about waffles in the fridge, and Lily didn’t hesitate to pull a few out. She had just put a few in the microwave when James shuffled in, wrapping his arms around her from the back and burying his head in her neck. He inhaled deeply, and his warm exhale gave Lily goosebumps. “You smell good,” he murmured, shifting some of her wet hair off her neck, giving him unrestricted access. Lily’s head tilted back to rest on his shoulder as his lips trailed up and down, humming softly.

Lily would have taken him right there and then if Euphemia hadn’t walked in that exact second. She tried to put some distance between her and James, a little embarrassed that she’d caught them like that, but James kept his arms tight around her, laughing.

“Morning mum,” he said brightly. “What are you up to?”

“Just out for a bit of gardening.” She waved her dirty hands and raised an eyebrow quizically at them. “Jamie dear, do you have something to tell me?”

James rested his chin on Lily’s shoulder and whispered something in her ear. She nodded, tipping her head to the side to see him, a smile breaking out on her face. He smiled too, his thumb rubbing slow circles on her stomach. He looked over at his mother, who was now washing her hands, and said “Mum, I want you to meet Lily Evans, my girlfriend.”

Euphemia gasped and spun on her heel to look at them. “Well, it’s about time!” She reached out and pulled Lily from James’ arms. “Oh! My hands are all wet.” She released Lily from the hug and jumped up and down. “I always hoped you two would get together!”

James grabbed Lily from behind again, pulling her close. Lily shot her an odd look. “You did?”

Euphemia winked at both of them and James groaned. “She loves you too bloody much.”

Lily patted his hands, which had slipped just under the hem of her shirt, consolingly. The microwave finally beeped and she pulled away to grab the plates. Euphemia disappeared back into the garden a few minutes later, and Lily joined James back at the counter. They dove into the food, both starving.

James slid his hand on her thigh, and she put her hand over his, not wanting to be apart just yet. When they’d finished, he turned to her, one elbow leaning on the counter. “So, Evans, want to stay the night again?”

She pretended to think about it. “I’m sure Euphemia would enjoy my company.”

James pushed his plate away and stood up. Lily turned around to face him, and he stepped forward until Lily’s back hit the counter. He kissed the corners of her mouth, then moving back down to her neck. “No other reason?”

Lily was having a hard time concentrating. “I can’t miss out on the blackberry pastries.”

“Any other reasons?”James sucked slightly at the sweet spot he had discovered last night and Lily’s fingers dug into his shoulder. His free hand fingered the waistband of her shorts, and Lily couldn’t take it anymore. She kissed him, one hand fisting in the hair that she just couldn’t seem to get enough off. Still on the barstool, Lily wrapped her legs around him and he lifted her, kissing her all the while.

“I can think of one more reason,” she managed to get out as he carried her up the stairs.

James threw open the door to his bedroom, tugging his shirt over his head. “Oh?”

Lily mirrored him, tossing her sweatshirt to the side. “Raw sex appeal.”

James’ eyebrows raised. “Oh yeah? Tell me more?”

Lily didn’t answer, instead just pulling him to the bed and laughing at the devilish look in his eyes.

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black-rose-writings · 3 years

Text

Reading Siege and Storm because I hate myself

To begin, I’d like to state that this is my first read-through and I only have vague idea of the plot I’ve gathered from fanfics and tumblr posts.

Long post ahead

Chapter 1

So... at first I was like - huh, this isn’t as bad as I thought, but the moment Alina gets introspective, it all goes to hell.

Like, she’s being physically made sick by not using her powers, which is making her feel useless - like, she says, pretty much verbatim: “The only thing I was ever good at was being a Sun Summoner and I’m not that anymore.”

I’m gonna beat those paragraphs over the head of anyone, who says Alina got a good ending.

I’ve also noticed just how often the like “I pushed that thought away” is used and more often than not, it’s used on thoughts that should probably not be pushed away.

Ah, yes, here he comes, my boy Darkles, being the dramatic bitch he always is. We get it, you’re the hot villain, tempting the good and pure heroine away from being good and pure.

And I’m just now realizing how many times in this chapter has Alina lamented their lack of privacy. We have to ensure the reader doesn’t hink she’s *gasp* sleeping with Mal.

Chapter 2

What?

Alina is tripping balls while being put under by a Heartrender, got it.

Darkling is being the voice of reason, but I’m getting the distinct feeling it won’t last.

Ivan gets one point, because Alina is in fact a traitor, but he’s also being a cunt, so it doesn’t really count.

Alina at Sturmhond: Do you even care about Ravka?

Me at Alina: Do you?

Chapter 3

“Mermaids are not real”. I’m pretty sure they are in the Grishaverse.

My boy Darkles is still making sense, but Alina is dedicated to being against him just for the hell of it, it seems.

Did this bitch just throw a tantrum, because he told her, what we can assume is the truth? Okay. Like, I get that she’s at best 18, but still. Not exactly the type of protagonist whose head I like being in.

And in that moment, dozens of smut fics were born.

Chapter 4

Wow, that was quick.

Aaand. What had just happened?

Chapter 5

Sturmhond is a funny bitch, I’ll give him that.

And this entire conversation, it seems like Mal’s entire purpose is to stand behind Alina threateningly and repeat what she said, lol.

I’d like to remind Alina (and LB) that a king in an absolutist monarchy (which is what Ravka appears to be) is very much a tyrant. Don’t make it sound like Ravka didn’t have a tyrant before. And at the very least, my boy Darkles seems pretty competent.

A man calling himself a Storm Dog likes dogs. No shit.

Chapter 6

I hate Mal. Dude, this is your girlfriend, maybe like... listen to her? Don’t bludgeon her with the one other guy she was kinda-sorta with, when you are a well known manwhore?

I don’t know man, I don’t like him.

Everyone: You can’t have more than one amplifier, it’s dangerous.

Alina: Haha, sparkles go brrrr

Chapter 7

In other news, pirates are funny.

Holy shit, they have a plane.

That was... a lot. And we’re crossing the Fold again, yay.

Chapter 8

You feel bad for the Volcra but not for the people you’ve left for dead in the Fold last time? Okay.

Baby Volcra. Am I supposed to say “ew” or “aww”? If I tried doing both at the same time, it would probably sound like one.

Jesus fucking Christ this book is a ride.

Did Alina really just have an “oh no, he’s hot?” moment? *sighs*

Puppy boy has a title longer than Daenerys, jesus.

Alina, my dear, you could have waited for a bit before doing that. There’s like thirty soldier with guns around you and you’ve just punched a prince.

Then again, you’ve never been smart, have you?

Chapter 9

For once, I completely agree with him. I know you two have lost your one shared braincell on that first crossing of the Fold but still, that was very dumb of you, Alina.

I’m starting to get why people were calling Nikolai “Darkling light”. Definitelly seems appropriate.

Mal, calm the fuck down, that was the least romantic proposal I’ve ever heard and you know it.

You two didn’t even let Alina get a word in for the last page. What right do you have to her, Mal, huh? Nikolai is making sense and you’re being an idiot.

What’s your deal Mal? What the fuck do you want?

And why in the hell are you the endgame love interest?

That’s an awful lot of guilt-tripping you’re doing there, Mal. No need to be pissy about it.

Chapter 10

The bones thing is definitelly yikes.

Saints, Mal, are you on your period or something? Alina doesn’t belong to you. Alina can make her own choices. Get a grip.

“You think I’m like the Darkling?” Yes. The Darkling isn’t all bad. You’re at war. No need to get your panties in a twist over a few fingers.

Oh, look, Alina has a cult now, nice.

Chapter 11

Your “dad” is a rapist, Nikolai. Quite possibly a pedo. He got exactly what he deserved.

I’d go for the second option. Especially after that stunt. Jesus, you could have asked her beforehand.

At least Darkles had the decency to make out with her in private.

Also like... why is every single person in this series so far an asshole?

Chapter 12

We meet the King again, unfortunately.

Alina gets Darkles’s old job.

This should be a total disaster, but let’s see where it goes anyway.

Chapter 13

Alina’s nuts, yay.

(I know they have a Force-bond-thingy. I also know they did it before Reylo did.)

Chapter 14

Oh boy, Alina’s not doing as bad as I thought.

For the 100th time in this book, I wish I had Nikolai’s confidence. Though it is getting a bit too much.

Puppy boy is dropping some truth bombs. Nice.

But he doesn’t realize that my boy Darkles has very good reasons to not align with Fjerdans - a) they think he’s a demon and b) they want Grisha dead.

I’m not gonna say she was, but like... the monarchy is very much corrupt.

Oh, boy, Baghra. This one’s gonna go well.

Yep, Baghra’s as pleasant as ever.

So... Baghra’s plan in book 1 really had been to just have Alina run away and hope for the best? Jesus Christ, lady. I’m not saying she deserved to have her eyes taken away, but she is definitelly a trash person and I’m not surprised her son turned out the way he did.

Also, I’m fairly certain that Baghra is literally slowly killing herself - that the reason she looks so old and frail is because she’s started to supress her power and it’s literally killing her, because, you know, she’s bonkers old.

Chapter 15

Nerd Alina > Self-pitying Alina

Also, I’m just saying, Alina comments on Zoya being attractive a whole lot - I get that she’s meant to be insecure, but I’m interpreting it as her being gay, because I need some happiness in my life, okay?

Just kill the sleazy old Rasputin-wanna-be. There’s plenty of them to go around in this series.

Chapter 16

Vasily takes after his father in creep factor.

Why not the Darkling being courted by a horny prince? Be a bit creative.

Chapter 17

Nikolai has big ADHD energy and I love him for it. Fits right in with the heavily autism-coded Fabricators.

*sighs at heteronormativity again*

*sighs at improper gendering of titles*

Date night with Mal. This is gonna be a disaster, isn’t it?

Chapter 18

Fun night of cultural appropriation, yay.

I hate cultists.

LET. ALINA. GO. FERAL. Please.

You two are going to give me a headache, I swear.

Darkles cockblocking Alina. And Malice threw a tantrum. Nice.

Chapter 19

You’re way too harsh on Genya, Alina.

Horny Alina rights.

They have a laser, now. Cool. Or, well, enormously hot.

Mal is being a drunk a-hole. Great. When does he become likable? Does he ever?

Banter between Mal and Alina? Kinda weird, always somehow comes back to either of them being insecure.

Banter between Alina and Nikolai? I’m all for it. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still a Darklina trash, but like... Nikolai is fun. I could see him and Alina having an arranged political marriage and ending up falling in love years into it, that’s all I’m saying.

Chapter 20

Just let this one go, Alina, please. You two are not working out. Please, end it with him. You’ll both probably be happier. (I’m saying this with the full knowledge that Malina is endgame).

Jesus Alina, get your shit together. You have every right to be mad, because you two didn’t actually break up, you didn’t kiss Nikolai and also, I don’t like Mal.

Sooo... when is Alina going to realize her manchild of a boyfriend is an amplifier?

Chapter 21

Alina has the horny sickness, lol.

Jesus Christ, girl, I don’t want to read your vaguely suicidal thoughts.

Mal, you fucking idiot.

Alina, stop defending Mal.

Chapter 22

Alina has a logical thought? Impossible.

Finally, some action.

Chapter 23

Oh, boi, this is going great.

Oh, boi, Alina’s having another martyr moment.

And, we’re done.

Finally.

That was a ride. Nothing really happens for like ten chapters and then everything happens in one and a half.

#shadow and bone #grishaverse #siege and storm #review #darklina #anti mal #I guess #reading binges like this yeet me right back into middle school

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