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wistfulrat · 3 years

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a 4-part rec list of my fave drarry fics - the thrillers, dramas, soft bois, and wankbanks getting me through 2020′s shitstorm

[ for my fellow fledgling drarry stans! the drama list is here and, well. like i didn’t initially intend to go off in the mini-reviews beneath every rec but it’s just that you can't nOT yell about drarry as classic literary foils!! also it’s my dumb sideblog so i decided there are no rules and i get to be annoying about good writing.

but rly, the whole premise of the drarry pairing is shaped by this genre and if the ~serious world of serious published writers~ weren’t absolute cowards, they would admit that drama fic authors have contributed more to the genre than the average shit you can find at your local chain bookstore. so that's that on thAT. & if you love a fic here, don't forget to follow the authors, leave kudos & comments on their work, send them nice msgs bc they do all this shit for free xoxo ]

part 2: dramas

mood: for when I need emotional catharsis and maybe 7 hours to sob/brood about loneliness, the cost of love, & the perpetual fear of being truly known

includes: angst, hurt/comfort, reconciliation fics. it’s cruelty o’clock folks and someone is about to say/do something Fucked Up that they can’t take back. but don’t worry!! there will be a Reckoning feat. hamlet-worthy monologues, ugly truths, unbridled rage, trauma, insecurity, and just a fuck ton of tears!! but maybe even tender apologies and mended things.

(Un)wanted by @aibidil - 36k - E | Ginny's pregnant, then she's not and Harry's single. Harry, again with no family, doesn't know what to do with this turn of events, or how to find a new life—post-war, post-Ginny, post-abortion—in which he belongs. He doesn't expect that life to include dancing to the Backstreet Boys with Hermione and Draco Malfoy. A story of finding belonging in the unexpected. | --- can a fic be tender and unflinching at the same time? bc this story strikes that balance rly well and for a piece about unwantedness, it is incredibly humanizing. ginny holding her own, draco being gentle but not letting harry play victim, hermione calling harry “hazzah” and just the way this friendship insists on the validity of found families even when harry is spiraling?? and you’re forced to consider that no one has the monopoly on fucked-upness and that doesn’t absolve us of the ways we hurt each other but it means that everyone has the same potential to be better after being broken. goD JUST READ IT, OKAY.

Blood Magic, the series by @houseofhebrideanblacks and @thestralsofspinnersend 335k - E “Later that night. . .Draco wondered at the depths of magic, its breadth and scope. The ways in which life pervades and eludes death, the ways in which they endure all manners of small and large deaths within their lives.” -- if you don't read any other fic on this list, i hope you read this series bc holy shit it’s breathtaking. harry’s a recovering addict, draco’s recovering from abuse, and in a cottage within the forbidden forest begins an unlikely partnership as the boys take up the tedious work of healing. there are thestrals and everyone's in therapy. there are whole chapters of cottagecore drarry. it's a beautiful exploration of how we bare the immensity of loss against the miracles of birth and regrowth.

Ship of Theseus by GallaPlacidia - 18k - T “A ship in a full sail, a ship in a state of decay, a ship that had been rebuilt, slightly different. A repeating cycle. “What makes the ship the same?” asked Harry. “I don’t know. There must be something in it that lasts across the changes.” -- DO YOU KNOW HOW THIS QUOTE LIVES RENT FREE IN MY SAD, SAD BRAIN. DO YOU KNOW HOW I LOSE SLEEP THINKING ABOUT THE FUCKING SHIP OF THESEUS. it’s a memory loss fic and everything is so unFAIR. you want to murder harry sometimes bc he’s such a shiT and you suffer through the ways he questions desire, penance, redemption, true love. and by the end, you want to believe in those golden slumber lyrics: “once, there was a way to get back home”

Yours to Keep by @dracoismytrashson - 135k - E i love the university setting, i love getting to see harry and draco’s first forays into a real LGBTQ community, the class and race structures outside of the wizarding world. i love that this is the context in which they’re allowed to confront the shittiness of PTSD, anxiety, depression etc. as they come together and fall apart against each other’s traumas. it makes the ending feel earned af. “Baby, we’ve been easing into it for a decade.” -- my god this line

Away Childish Things by @letteredlettered - 153k - T this fic is devastating. like, completely forget whatever reticence you might have towards a de-aging fic and read this. the de-aging premise allows the author to cut through the ways harry and draco hold each other at a distance and you end up with these stunning moments of clarity where they’re truly seeing each other for the first time. and suddenly everything makes sense. i won't spoil it here but there’s a scene towards the end where harry is talking to hermione and ron about realizing the first time he felt what its like to be loved and I fucking SOBBED. an all-time fave fic about learning how to belong.

Had To Be You by @lettersbyelise - 59k - E a genuinely excellent slow burn about absolute fucking morons who refuse to express their mutual love over the course of literal years?? HOW MANY TENDER MEET-CUTES DO 2 GAY IDIOTS EVEN NEED. a car ride a bookshop a street corner -- when harry met sally is my enemy. but you know what? this fic is masterfully written, it’s an epic tale of unexpected friendships and the inability to say the things we feel. also its very much also a soft boi fic if not for the Major Fuck Up that pushes it into drama territory for me. so worth the turmoil tbh.

Hurricane by phrynne - 120k - E auror partners terrified of love. it’s a fic about walls - where the emotional landscape of this fic is occluded by dishonest words so you feel the tension play out in hollow voices, shuttered looks, emptied eyes. it’s like watching two ppl get flayed alive in slow motion and everything is SHIT for a little. it’s mean, it’s ugly, it doesn’t let you give the characters an out when they’re being cruel - to each other and to themselves. but harry and draco are two violent forces hurling toward each other’s walls and the inevitable reckoning comes and it’s so very worth the ending. the hospital bed scene to rule all hospital bed scenes.

Returning Tides by @zigster-ao3 - E “Is my timing that flawed? Our respect run so dry? Yet there's still this appeal That we've kept through our lives” --those fuCKing ian curtis lyrics in the summary!! p a i n. why do i put myself through getting-back-together fics knowing full well i’m gonna be Sad As Hell during the not-together portion of the story?? we are all unfortunately hoes for heartache. anyway this fic is beautiful. draco’s a dad and recently widowed, harry has a thestral reserve, the settings here are stunning. a story about grief and love that lingers.

A Piercing Comfort by @talithan - 44k - T “There is no objective scorecard. There isn’t anything that a person does that tips the balance from ‘deserving’ to ‘undeserving’, or vice versa. A ‘deserving’ person will not run out of worthiness after a set time of happiness and have to then go about working to deserve it again. And an ‘undeserving’ person does not have to suffer at length before having the opportunity to be ‘deserving’.” -- the heart of this fic. harry’s in therapy, facing depression, and learning how to accept love he doesn’t think he deserves. (also draco is harry’s therapist but yes, that power dynamic is handled ethically-well imo and addressed in the author notes I promise!!).

Borrowing Courage by @xx-thedarklord-xx - 70k - E |After years of being a Magical Artist and painting for other people, Draco decides it’s time to paint for himself for once. The secrets pile up as he tries to unravel the mystery of his relatives but the only thing he didn’t count on was having to go to Potter of all people for approval.| --god i love this fic. the thing about drarry here is that they never mean to hurt each other but they do. they do and draco’s trying to do the right thing and he wants so badly for good family but harry’s never rly stopped grieving sirius and it’s this whole unintended mess of festering wounds forced to heal. everyone needs a hug. also ron/blaise pairing and ron+draco’s friendship here is everything!!

Reparations and the sequel, Foundations by Saras_Girl - 320k - E | Harry is about to discover that the steepest learning curve comes after Healer training, and that second chances can be found in unexpected places.| -- incredible. harry and draco’s dynamic as healers, the cast of original characters, the boys learning what it means to trust each other, draco building a rehabilitation center, harry falling in love with him, and “meus fabula est mei ut dico: my story is mine to tell.” i cry

The Ties that Bind by phoenix_writing (not on ao3) - 61k - T | Upon Andromeda’s death, Harry and Draco are given custody of Teddy. Their lives will never be the same.| -- harry’s got major abandonment issues and he’s just trying to be a good co-parent with draco but everyone is being the woRST and you want to murder them on behalf of harry. but then, the boys learn to listen to each other and god it all becomes so tender. also harry has a gay panic. things are awful but it all works out. -

[part 1: thrillers | part 2: dramas | part 3: soft bois | part 4: wankbanks]

#drarry #drarry fic #drarry fic rec #drarry dramas #im so sorry if this got long but also #I have too many Thoughts #all I do is cry over two sad gays #its pain o'clock sweeties #time to Sob about the mortifying ordeal of being Known

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yoificfinder · 2 years

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Idk if you noticed but I started creating character-centric fic recs for their respective birthdays. Time-permitting, I hope to do this for everyone. It might not be as so expansive since I only include what I, myself, have read and remembered but you are welcome to add your own recs!

Having said that, here are some Yuri-centric fics I rec. Happy birthday to the Ice Tiger of Russia/Russian Fairy!

by any other name by iguanasteven [T, 2K]

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Yuri's life as told by the names he's given; or, how Yuri's names direct his life.

I am Yuri Plisetsky by rinsled05 / @dreaming-fireflies [M, 2K]

Who is Yuri Plisetsky?

He's not Agape.

Not a “prima donna” ballerina.

And definitely no Russian fairy.

No, Yuri Plisetsky is an angry, loud, in-your-face, Russian tiger who will take to the ice and give you a brilliant gold-worthy performance you will never forget.

... a piece on Yuri's rationale for skating to "Welcome to the Madness". Rated for the actual foul-mouthed language in the story itself, courtesy of one Yuri Plisetsky.

it doesn't take a scientist by @alykapediaaa [T, 2K]

On Wednesday, Yuri skates right in between Viktor and Mila and says, nonchalant. "When I grow up, I'm going to be Yuuri Katsuki's second husband."

Viktor chokes on his own spit.

"What happened to the first one?" Mila asks, amused.

"Nothing you can prove," Yuri says, glancing meaningfully at a wide-eyed Viktor before skating away to the sound Mila's laughter.

(Or: In which Yuri Plisetsky has a crush, Mila Babicheva is a terrible listener, Otabek Altin is an equally terrible advice-giver, and the only possible solution to his predicament is to kill Viktor Nikiforov and marry Yuuri Katsuki himself.)

Pride by @kakikaeru [T, 3K]

"This was a terrible idea," Yuri hisses, and Yuuri reaches over and touches his wrist. Yuuri is not a tactile person and Yuri will maul anyone who tries to touch him, but a month ago Yuuri found him sobbing in the space between the vending machines at the rink, and it was hard to go back once someone had held you through the brink of your despair.

Yuri deals with the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Songs About Your Boyfriend by cryingoverspilledvodka / @victorsporosya [T, 18K]

Victor didn't understand Katsuki like Yuri did. It was impossible for him to do so. Victor had never had an idol, never had someone to look up to. He had set all the records himself. Katsuki and Yuri had Victor, and thus they had each other. That was something just between them, something that Victor couldn't be a part of. It may not be marriage, but it was a commitment in itself. Or it was to Yuri. And anyway, Katsuki wasn't married yet.

---

Yuri is in love with Victor's ambition, deeply in love with Victor's skating- and stupidly in love with Victor's fiancé

the top of the world by @stammiviktor [T, 5K]

It’s nearing ten p.m. on the third day of the off season when Yuri Plisetsky bursts through the front door and announces, "I'm staying here."

With his body changing and the Olympic season approaching, Yuri decides he’s had enough.

to the bottom of the river by @savrenim [T, 66K] *WIP

"If selling my soul is what it takes to win, I'll give you this body, no holds barred.”

Because after all, Yuri had no soul left to sell.

Yuri Plisetsky Grows Up (Or: Five Times People Give Yuri the Talk, and One Time He Gives It) by @voidflower [T, 8K]

"You will always keep your head on your shoulders. You will not hook up during competitions. You will not get involved in skater drama, because you’re better than that. And you will not let your hormones interfere with your skating. Understood?”

“Of course,” says Yuri smoothly, embarrassment giving way to indignation. “Like I would ever put anything before skating.” Yakov looks at him a little sadly, and nods.

“I know, Yura. I know.”

#yoi #yuri on ice #yoi fanfic #yuri plisetsky #yurio #yoi fic rec

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baku-bowl · 3 years

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broke 1,000 followers (the fuck? I don't even make content people), so decided to write up a list of some (but not all, I'll make other lists later) of my favorite Bakugou-centric fic recs. my tastes run towards hurt/comfort, as you'll probably figure from the list. if there are some Baku-centric fics that you've enjoyed that aren't on here, please add them - this is definitely not a complete list of the ones I've read and love, but I'm always up for some recs. <3

fair warning, most of these are wips.

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Social Media 101 by WindsChild8178

Part 1: Survival Guide to Fucking Up

[Solely Bakugou’s point of view]

Katsuki Bakugou doesn’t have a gentle bone in his body. He’s aggressive in everything he does and does everything with 100% of his heart in it. After the Sport’s Festival, Katsuki starts to get harassed by strangers for his unheroic demeanor. It starts with letters but it doesn’t end there. The moment Katsuki realizes the harassment has entered dangerous territory and he needs to tell someone, it’s already too late.

Part 2: Post Traumatic Life Disorder

[Point of View opens up to Bakugou, teachers and classmates]

When the Dorms are finally built, everyone is settling in well, but things become tense as people begin to realize something isn’t right with the recently rescued Bakugou.

[Cannon compliant right up to after the License Exam]

hands down my favorite fic in the fandom right now. it’s the one that converted me into a Bakugou lover. if you have any fondness for Bakugou as a character then it’s likely you’ve read this one already, but if not, I can’t recommend it enough. incredibly depressing, but with the hope that comfort is coming soon in the next few chapters.

The Kids Will Be Alright, Eventually by NotWithThatAttitude

Bakugou is spiraling in the aftermath of Kamino and his friends are starting to notice. He's stubborn, aggressively independent, and less than willing to dig into his past, but after a breakdown that ends with a painful secret revealed, he starts to get help.

Whether he likes it or not.

Meanwhile, a new kind of villain threatens an uneasy peace following the loss of Allmight. Whispers build as a new narrative slowly takes shape:

Hero society needs to change.

Feat. Therapy, Dadzawa, best boy Kirishima, dysfunctional families, healing, growing up, and the mortifying ordeal of being known

guys.. the medical accuracy of this fic is just... *chef’s kiss*

I rarely see mental health genuinely handled well in fics, but this one goes above and beyond. kudos to the author for doing such excellent research into psychology, and making the application of it in here not-boring. also, while this one does have abusive!Mitsuki, it’s done in a way that feels realistic, and how I usually will see it occur in real life, rather than just for the hurt/comfort feels.

fair warning, the fic can be incredibly triggering (themes of severe depression, PTSD, panic attacks, rape survival, abuse survival, suicidal ideation/attempted suicide, among other things), so be safe and heed the tw’s if you decide to read. legitimately one of my Top Favorite fics in this fandom.

Lock and Key by autochorystalize

Bakugou made a choked, gravelly noise before croaking out a low, “You can’t be serious.” His fingers ached to blow up everything in the room.

“I’m sorry, young man, but you can’t change reality! This sometimes happens.” Recovery Girl clicked through his file, adding a new symbol in a previously empty slot.

- - -

A pair of eyes discreetly locked on to an explosive blond plowing his way forward, parting people in his path. He recognized the kid, of course. Anyone in the underbelly of society would recognize him, after the publicity of both UA’s Sports Festival and the events leading up to All Might’s fall. The uniform he was wearing cast away any doubts about the young man’s identity.

It was a bit of a surprise that the little firecracker presented as an omega.

- - - - - - - - -

Or: there are certain types of evil that seemed too distant, archaic violations and perversions that would never actually threaten bright-eyed heroes-in-training in the clean, modern world...but sometimes those evils aren't as distant as one might think.

remember when I said that I love a/b/o fics that are full of plot and world-building and gender-induced tension? that’s this one. the OC’s are fabulous and you love to hate ‘em. also, it’s the fic that made me fall head-over-heels for the TodoBaku dynamic, so it’s got a special place in my cold, dead heart.

be warned, there are rather explicit non-con scenes between an adult (OC) and a minor (Bakugou) in this one, but the author warns for them in advance, and you could likely skip those parts without missing too much if you need to.

Never and Always, Eventually by Wawa_Boonliang

"Katsuki can remember the exact moment that he and Deku…that he and Midoriya Izuku became friends. He can also remember the moment he and Izuku became fierce rivals, a time when they were almost enemies.

However, what he remembers most clearly about their relationship is the moment that they moved passed rivals and became something more close than mere friends. Something more like brotherhood, something forged in fire and secured in the middle of a battlefield or in the midst of natural disaster where the number of the dead was climbing ever higher. And then it was torn from him."

Katsuki is given a second chance. A chance to save everyone. A chance to change everything.

But should he?

y’all. I’m a slutty, slutty whore for time travel fics. a time travel fic with autistic!coded Bakugou? it was love at first read.

Lessons Learned by Sif (Rosae)

Rather than the police station, Katsuki's friends bring him to a hospital after rescuing him from the villains. His wounds were minor, but it didn't make having them treated any less important. As it would so happen, Best Jeanist was also brought to this hospital after the attack.

Sometimes, small choices have a big impact on how a story plays out.

classic Bakugou hurt/comfort. this fic opened me up to the potential that could be a genuinely good Best Jeanist & Katsuki mentor-mentee relationship, and I kind of dig it and search ravenously for it in other fics now. I’m also a huge fan of the behind-the-scences Pro Hero Chat group.

Slope by sunfleurmoon

“I’m not a hero. Or a good person,” Katsuki says, giving Aizawa a pointed look, “So leave me alone. I don’t care about the League or UA, or you—” The two years he’s been away have been fine, more than fine, fucking fantastic actually if you ignore the bi-monthly near-death experiences. He doesn’t need this place. He doesn’t miss this place.

And yet, longing, a childish desire to tear up, or maybe blow something to bits, they all twist in his chest like a band of traitors regardless. “—I just want to go home.”

Or: the one where Katsuki and Izuku fail the first term exam, Aizawa discovers their pasts, and Katsuki is booted from UA. Featuring questionable descriptions of villain organizations, a slightly illegal moving shop, and your favorite emotionally constipated badass in distress with a newly discovered penchant for collecting strays.

paaaaaaiiiiiiiin. the hurt is ALIVE in this one. lots of tortured, angsty exploding child goodness. the OC’s are excellently crafted, and the Bakugou & Eri relationship? beautiful. definitely deserves a read.

Ground Zero by WindsChild8178

In the wake of Kamino, Katsuki is tested more than anyone could imagine. Bound by a villain’s quirk to keep his silence or die, he lives each day knowing it might very well be his last. He continues to work towards becoming a hero, keeping his secret from his classmates and teachers, focusing on making it through each day and trying not to allow the panic or depression to get the best of him. When the villain finally corners him with demands in exchange for his life, there is really only one answer Katsuki Bakugou can give.

honestly don't know which I want updated more - social media 101 or ground zero. this author's fics are amazing, and I really wasn't expecting the twist in this one. can't wait for windschild to come back to this fic some day.

The Defect by LadyGreenFrisbee

"Why do you want to win the Sports Festival so badly?"

Because I want to see if the defect could usurp the masterpiece.

(In which Endeavor holds a terrible secret and Bakugo has to suffer since childhood for it.)

a great concept, and I adore the shouto and Katsuki sibling interaction here. hoping the author will come back to this one some day.

A Name That You'll Remember by Heronfem

Kirishima Eijirou is a Hero. Bakugou Katsuki... is not. Trapped in his toxic workplace and increasingly desperate to get out, Red Riot's days are only brightened by a new villain known as Caution, who's not exactly villainous and keeps accidentally doing good deeds. But when a real villain appears, a threat from the past that demands that Red Riot make the ultimate sacrifice to keep the public safe, Bakugou is forced into saving the day... and eventually, Red Riot himself.

sob story good guy villains are my weakness, this fic is a gem, and I'd kill for the sequel.

Our Hero by AnonymousTwit

He felt everything jerk to the side and throw his balance off before he saw anything, dust clouding his vision and irritating his lungs as the earth itself opened up to swallow them whole. For a single moment, in a millisecond's time, his wild eyes locked with Raccoon Eyes', hers alight with fear and adrenaline-fueled desperation. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that it was the first time she'd looked at him with something other than long-deserved hatred in days.

And then he was free falling.

After a particularly nasty encounter between childhood friends, the class learns about Bakugou and Midoriya's dark history and practically ostracizes Bakugou while trying to defend Midoriya. An earthquake during an outing has all sides regretting their decisions.

just fucking tear apart my self-sacrificing faves in every way imaginable while their loved ones watch on in terror. 💖🥰💖 this one is heavy on the Bakusquad and Class-1A feels, and VERY heavy on the Mina & Bakugou relationship (platonic).

Running back the tape, watching it replay by Faralyne

For someone ripped from their time, ripped from the few but strong relationships built by time and personal development, by self-reflection and swallowed pride, ripped from the one thing that made him feel worthwhile and needed and put-together, and forced to forge everything over again—Katsuki thinks he is handling it pretty fucking well.

A villain’s quirk sends a 29-year-old Bakugou back in time to his middle school days.

am I a sucker for time travel? yes. am I a sucker for vigilante!bakugou? also yes. am I a sucker for this fic? literally refreshing the page in wait for an update as we speak.

Liability by sandelf

After All-Might dies rescuing Bakugou from the League, Bakugou is determined to prove it wasn't for nothing.

But the world is against him, his grief is overwhelming, and his stability is splitting at the edges.

very self-indulgent bakugou angst. tw for harassment, severe depression, and suicidality.

Special Mentions:

How To Win The Sport Festival: A Step By Step Guide by mhwright

Short re-imagining of the Sports Festival Arc if Shinso had planned a little better and worked a little harder to win the Sports Festival and if the match-ups had been slightly different. Self-indulgent fic of watching him succeed.

this is completely Shinsou-centric, not Bakugou-centric, but I love and adore it and am dying for a sequel. Shinsou is Best Boy here and you'll be rooting for him the whole time.

#fic rec #katsuki bakugou #bakugou #seriously though if you have a rec for me please always assume i will be unbearably grateful for it #and hit me up with it in the comments or through messaging #thanks for the follows y'all!

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iceeckos12 · 4 years

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tma fic recs

I’ve seen a couple of fic rec posts floating around. since ive been reading so many excellent fic recently, i thought that id make one as well! please note this list is going to be 99% jonmartin. also buckle up, because this is going to get long.

Completed

the umbrella by Wildehack (tyleet)

"And to think—all of Jonah Magnus’ carefully laid plans, the centuries of scheming, the murders, the sacrifices, all of that work could have been completely undone if Martin Blackwood had gone back for an umbrella" - holdthosebees

Notes: This is probably my go-to fic if i want an apocalypse never happened scenario. The jonmartin is wonderful, as is the h/c.

Diary and Prenon-nous la main by luftballoons99

Diary summary:

Not for the first time since they ran away together, a camera reel of all the things they don't know about one another whirs behind Martin's eyes, and he can't help but look at all the sprawling magnetic tape and wonder if they’re going to wind up a romance or a tragedy.

or: Office parties, garage bands, and the joy of being known.

Prenon-nous la main summary:

They still haven't talked about it, any of it, not even to pass the time on the long train ride to Scotland. Instead, Martin fell asleep in the seat next to him, pressed into his side from shoulder to knee, and Jon thought about love confessions and verb tense and how the two fit together when you think you're dying.

or: Good cows, mediocre poetry, and other crucial topics of discussion.

Notes: Do you love impeccable safehouse jonmartin characterization? do you love characters grappling with the mortifying ordeal of being known? do you love softness so tender that it makes you want to weep? please read these fic. im begging you.

i’ll tell you about all the times i’ve smiled because of you by cryptidkidprem

Summary:

Martin thinks about their shoes, sitting beside each other on the floor by the bed. Thinks of the way Jon wears Martin’s cardigans more often than he wears his own, the way Martin’s started keeping elastics around his wrist because Jon always forgets his own when they go out.

He thinks about all the gentle touches and fussing over each other they’ve done, and how much is still to come over the next… however long Jon will have him.

They have a long way to go, an entire life to build out of the wreckage Jonah Magnus and Peter Lukas left them, but laying together in a comfortable, sleepy quiet, Martin thinks they’ve got a good start going.

Or, Jon quits the Institute, saves the world, and it turns out to be exactly what he needs in order to heal and start moving forward towards building a life with Martin.

Notes: how many times have i reread this fic? more than i can count. jon quits the institute and it’s just full of soft jonmartins. they get married! god i love them.

go softly by doomcountry

Summary:

And there is nothing else besides this.

Notes: every time i remember this fic i reread it. please heed the tags because martin is blinding jon, but he’s like. blinding jon in the most heartbreaking way possible. idk how the author made this so tender but i know i was certainly crying so!

The Reverb in These Holy Halls by Wolftraps (AlwaysBoth)

Summary:

Undoing the apocalypse would have been enough for Jon, if all his people survived. Without them, Jon's only recourse is making it so it never happened in the first place. He's going to do better this time.

Notes: Do you like time travel fixits? i sure like time travel fixits. reverb is an excellent one. heavy on the h/c, I wanted to hug jon so so badly.

Yesterday is Here by CirrusGrey

Summary:

"Who the hell are you?" Jon could feel his hands shaking. The man laughed, taking a step forward and raising a hand to point at him. "I'm you, from the future!" he said, then swayed, eyes going unfocused, and collapsed to the floor in a dead faint. -------- Post-season-four Jon and Martin time travel back to the season one Archives.

Notes: Yet another time travel fixit! also excellent. the teasing was HYSTERICAL. also Im just going to say this now - CirrusGrey in general writes incredible tma fic. You can’t really go wrong.

unassigned supplementals by bibliocratic

Notes: I won’t put in a summary just because it’s a long series of oneshots, but bibliocratic’s writing is amazing. Again, you can’t really go wrong with one of their fic!

let the soft animal of your body by autoclaves

Summary:

Standing in the warm kitchen, slats of sepia light filtering through onto the counter in front of him, Martin doesn’t know what to do with his hands. He half expects them to go through the countertop entirely, glossy and solid as it is. He isn’t used to any of it, yet. The safehouse. Jon. Beams of sun pouring into his hands. After being deprived of everything of significance for so long, the longing that crashes over him is almost painful in its tangibility. He wants to laugh, to sob, to scream and hear it echoed back against the neat, square walls of the safehouse.

In the end, he doesn’t do any of these things. He makes eggs instead. He can do that, can’t he? Use his hands for something simple and plain and good.

(Or: In the safehouse after it all, Martin starts cooking.)

Notes: this fic really speaks to me a) because i project on martin like crazy and b) because food is also my love language. this fic is incredibly soft and it’s all about cooking!

“Have you tried turning it on and off again?” by shinyopals

Summary:

I hope you find your new role as Head of the Institute as rewarding as captaining the Tundra, wrote Elias Bouchard, to Peter Lukas. There are so many people working there: all with their own interesting lives, and all desiring your attention and support. I'm sure you will relish the challenge it will bring and enjoy every moment spent with the fine men and women of the Institute. In time I'm confident they'll become like a family to you.

The Magnus Institute has a new boss. The Magnus Institute also has a new tech support technician. These two facts are unrelated, except they both happen at the same time.

Meanwhile Jon's woken up from being dead for six months and for once he's trying his best. He just wishes Martin would stop avoiding him and answer his messages...

Notes: if you’re looking for a good laugh, this fic is SO SO SO FUNNY. i was dying. basically the magnus institute being an absolute bureaucratic nightmare.

hello my old heart by firebirdsuite

Summary:

Peter’s wrong, of course. When it’s all over, Martin does still want to tell Jon everything. It’s just—well, there’s a few things they need to work through first before they can get there.

Martin and Jon find each other again in Scotland.

Notes: it’s all about the yearning. and trust me, the yearning in this fic? im just. i sure do love jonmartin, and this is such soft, loving jonmartin it just makes you want to cry

two ships passing by pyrites

Summary:

Gerard Keay is 10 years old the very first time he tries to run away from home, right around the time that Jonathan Sims has just come into possession of his first Leitner.

Or: One dropped stone can change the way the whole ocean moves.

Notes: again, JONGERRY. MY GOODNESS. this fic is beautiful, the writing is absolutely breathtaking and it owns my heart. im so in love with it. the author said you’re going to have emotions about jon and gerry and jongerry and i said OKAY

Terminal Sight by viv_is_spooky

Summary:

Spider silk weaves through the visions of two Seers. Monstrosity is dawning on them both.

Notes: I’d never read a gerryoliver fic before this, but the execution is EXCELLENT and now im sold on the ship forever. This fic has wonderful prose and great characterization and i love it a whole lot.

Incomplete

assistant archivist au by PitViperOfDoom

Notes: I won’t put a summary since I’m reccing an entire series, but. it is absolutely no secret that i adore jongerry. pit’s assistant archivist au slapped me over the head with some gorgeous jongerry oneshots and then gave me the gift of the main fic (which is still in progress) about head archivist martin. i love this au so so much

dustsceawung by callmearcturus

Summary:

Martin had always been favored by the summer courts, and moving up north to the little village of Lacuna is a difficult adjustment. It's rainy and lonely and everyone seems to have a strange, distant relationship with the local faerie court.

However: there is a strange man in a cloak who walks past Martin's remote little cottage every few days.

However: there is a moth that keeps getting stuck in Martin's house during the rain.

These events are not as disconnected as they first appear.

Notes: you ever just read a fic that you didn’t know that you needed until after you read it? yeah. featuring the fae and moth jon and excellent characterization.

Illicio by ThatOneGirlBehindYou

As the new Archivist debates between life and death, the Eye ponders on what to offer him in order to avoid an encore of the unfortunate situation with his predecessor.

-----

Gerard Keay opens his eyes at what feels like fuck-ass in the morning, inside a room with far too little space and far too much dust.

Notes: This is also the moment where I reveal that im a sucker for jongerrymartin. please read this fic. gerry is brought back from the dead in s4 and everyone is far better off for it.

where there’s a will, we make a way by bubonickitten

Summary:

"So, what does happen if an Eye learns to See within itself?

What happens is this: the Archive Beholds the Watcher – and the Watcher blinks first."

________________________

Jon goes back to before the world ended and tries to forge a different path.

Notes: this time travel fixit is shaping up to be an absolutely incredible read. i love the way this author writes jon so so much, and the characterization is spot on. this whole fic just satisfies some little part of me. god. also!! bubonickitten’s writing in general? beautiful. please check out their other works.

The Timeline of Theseus by Applea

Jon tries to force the Spiral to send him back, but the Sprial's corridors never twist things quite the way you want them to. Back in 1996, Elias has no idea why or how the Eye made such a powerful Avatar out of an 8 year old, especially when said 8 year old doesn't actually know he has any powers at all. Clearly such a child cannot be left outside the Institute's care.

Notes: This fic is legitimately brilliant. The author manages to capture the big ADHD mood and the precociousness of baby Jon while managing to write a wonderful storyline. Time travel! Elderly lesbians! A Jonah who is wildly in over his head but was walloped over the head with paternal instinct! Baby Gerry! What more could you possibly ask for?

rooms full of people who do not love each other yet by seaer

Summary:

“Wanted to ask about a book.” The boy has his hand on the counter, and he leans into it, nonchalant. The library is air-conditioned, but by no means frigid, and Jon can’t help but feel sweaty just looking at the layers he’s wearing; what looks like old leather over an olive-green Magnus pullover over his school shirt. “Do you have A Journal of the Plague Year?”

Jon says, tetchily, “We’re about to close.”

“I know. Do you have A Journal of the Plague Year?”

Notes: I am so in love with this author’s writing style and the way they write the characters!! The jon and gerry friendship is PERFECT and the character interactions are all darling.

if you read these fics please send the authors some love, they definitely deserve it!!

#tma #fic recs #ill update this as i read #seriously some very very good stuff on here #long post

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uno-writing · 2 years

Note

AHHHHHHH this is unrelated to uno but my friend and I dared eachother to read something thatd make us cry, and I made her read the boxer and I'm on the floor sobbing over gourmet hound 😭😭 neither of us have done any work for like two days we're just binge reading

This is like, exactly how I felt when I was reading uno, but to a less extreme degree. Any of y'all felt uno legit messing with you mentally? Like actually I should've taken a break while reading it but I just read it continuously over thee days straight and was mentally and emotionally exhausted for a week after lol. I always stop rereading when the joker arc starts up bc I honestly can't handle it 😅

ik people call uno cheesy and it is, but what I felt while reading it was so intense. Ive felt that way over a precious few pieces of media. And it's so strange. I can't find a pattern at all. It isn't very well written, and the storyline is vaugely problematic, and tbh I've seen better world building, but I still love it. Same for other media I've loved, I can admit that I've read better, but I still, for some reason, resonated with these totally random (?) ones the most

If anyone's slightly curious the other works I've loved as much as uno (I call these things soul art make fun of me) are eleceed by jeho son and ZHENA (available on webtoon), the poppy war by R F kuang, his dark materials by Philip Pullman, and the Percy Jackson series and the heroes of Olympus series by Rick Riordan (pls don't pick on me lol). Ofc there's been stuff that's sent me into various states of existencial crisis but the characters from these works have literally always stayed with me

And Ik no one can psyco analyze me with these bc there's no way someone here has read them all mwahahaha *knocks on wood*

This was nothing really just a random baring of the soul to people who might relate 🥴

- Boba anon 🧋

Oh my god the mortifying ordeal of being known what have i done this is too personal ahhhh I'm to emotional rn I'm deff gon regret this later

UnO definitely delves into many serious topics. Like thinking back about the comic and everything that’s happened is definitely intense.🍿🥤🍭🍬🍫🧋🥨🥬🍦🍧🧊🐇🍩🥖📦🌻

I also gotta say that UnO has been one of my longest lasting passions (idk if that’s the right word lmao). I first started reading it around the time John’s ability was first revealed (i gotta admit, that was the only time of my reading uno that I’ve come close to being a jimp lmao) then I put it down for about a year and I came back and that kept happening to this point. Like most stuff that I completely put down I don’t pick up again. I could probably count on one hand the content that I’ve put down and picked up with the same passion.

I love UnO so much. Like I think that’s part of the reason I have so many criticisms about it just bc it has so much potential bc it’s already amazing with all of its flaws. I don’t think I’ve consumed a piece of media that I’d consider ‘flawless’, but UnO is sooooo close to being perfect in my opinion. The criticisms I do have are things that would be so easily fixed.

And dude, you’ve already issued the challenge. The psychiatrist anons are gonna flock to you now. You did not learn from my mistake lmao It's like self fulfilling prophecy now. You're going to get psychoanalyzed

Now they're not gonna do it bc I said this with such confidence lmao

#unordinary #berriwords #bobaanon

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1oserjk · 4 years

Text

— pop goes the cherry

jungkook comes back home to find you visiting as well, all grown up — in more ways than one.

childhood friends / brother’s best friend au

+ this isn’t smut but alludes to the subject of it n the loss of virginity, so if u are uneasy wit the idea then pls!!/ refrain!1!1

x masterlist

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“Will you calm down and just listen to what I have to say?”

He’s teetering nervously back and forth in your way too pink bedroom you should’ve grown out of by now. Thankfully, you were visiting for a short amount of time before you’d go back to university to leave him in the dust for another few more years, just like the rest of the times you’d done it. He decided to stop by for a night, courtesy of your brother’s invitation that his little sister was back in town along with them. He mentioned adamantly about wanting the whole family together, which if you added everything up, Jungkook was—and still is—included in the whole ordeal.

He was initially fine, perfectly normal as any other night at the Kim’s house. That was until he walked through the door and saw the face he’d tried to rid out of his head, since he graduated high school and fled to elsewhere, only moving back when you’d finally left home. Until you smiled at him and granted him a whiff of your irritatingly sweet perfume and your strawberry scented hair. Until you tugged on your low-cut dress that hit at the tops of your thighs to reveal an unnecessary amount of skin to him, because now all he could think about was if you really grew a cup size larger than the last time he’d seen you.

He shouldn’t have been thinking these things in the first place when his best friend was just downstairs, probably assuming he’d taken a trip to the restroom, but here he was, in your bedroom with you who sat sweetly with your legs crossed atop each other in front of him.

The room looks the same as a few years back, when he’d come up to knock on your door to announce that dinner was ready, by your mother’s orders. Instead, he’s here, actually inside, by your own asking of a private talk.

What he didn’t expect was for you to ask such an absurd question.

“Will you take my virginity?”

He’s dumbfounded. Absolutely shocked that those crude words had come out of your mouth. It should’ve revolted him that he was being offered something he’d never do to your brother. Never ever. This was sick.

So why did the offer only entice him further? He blamed it on the skirt of your dress that pooled around you when you sat. Or the way your doe eyes widened when you’d look up to gauge his reaction. He was waist-deep in the pool of attraction towards you. It was no hidden fact. Something in your eyes told him that you knew it too.

“I—Can you elaborate on what you just said?”

You shrug. “I just think it’s time to get it over with.”

He would scream in rage of frustration if Taehyung wasn’t in the house, or here at all. The tops of his knuckles turn white in the insides of his grey sweats and his veins that snake around his arms protrude even further. It should’ve made you intimidated, a bit nervous over why he was acting like it was such a big deal but it only makes you rub your thighs together and bite at the corner of your lips. Especially when he stood there, practically towering over you and your small form. It was incomparable, you really should’ve been intimidated. But in the end, it was Jungkook who was.

He timidly takes a seat on the small loveseat spaced out in the corner of your room. Enough for him to actually breathe and gain composure he lost in the beginning. He rests his forearms on the tops of his thighs and he thinks.

Taking a deep breath in, he starts, “Virginity is a big thing to lose..”

Your eyes roll back at the attempt of such an old man approach. “Don’t even try to back me out of this,” you huff. With a pout, you exasperate, “I mean, I’m already twenty-one! Don’t you think I deserve this?”

He tinkers with the thought, “I get that, but it doesn’t make sense over why you’re choosing me to do the deed.” The palms of his hands are splayed out in front of him, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself.

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, Jungkook,” you promise. “No one is pressuring you to. But I don’t think you realize that I have the capability to choose whoever I want. I’m choosing you for a reason.”

Soon enough, something snaps in him to face the reality of the stupidity in this conversation. “I’m glad you see me as a great candidate,” he drips with sarcasm. “But I’m your brother's best friend. I’ve been his best friend since I moved in the next street over when I was five.”

You shrug again, “—So?”

He glares, feigning cluelessness while he lists off, “Well I don’t know, it’s not something your brother has to lay out for me to know that you’re not allowed to be touched and flirted with. It’s common sense and decency,” he exasperates. “In what sense would it be morally right to fuck you?”

“That’s the problem!” You point. You crawl up on the bed to sit comfortably with your feet tucked under your thighs. A teasing pose you were clueless to note. “I’ve been so deprived from new experiences and feelings Jungkook, it’s absolutely tiring,” you groan. Your fingertips run through your hair and it ruffles messily below your palm. Jungkook takes a long and hard swallow to cope with the stir in his pants. He avoids your gaze when you stare longingly at him.

“Do you remember our time in highschool?” You suddenly ask, and his eyes flutter before shifting precariously to your door, anxious for anybody to knock or even worse—stomp into the room with no warning, something your brother was highly prone to do. When his eyes land back onto you, he nods slowly and carefully. “You were in varsity along with my brother while I had just passed the auditions for a new spot in the junior varsity cheerleading team,” you further explain and his left foot starts to bounce, fingers tightening on the handle of the cushioned chair. Of course he remembers, what with taking up some of the field for practice, running around the track with skimpy shorts, eyes already on you when you would wear the mandatory skirts on game days. God, he remembers so clearly, as if it was just yesterday. “And you had your farewell game as a senior?”

Throat tightening while his eyes widened, only remembering a sliver of what happened right after, when the team had taken their final win for the season.

Tongue coming out from the corner of your mouth to skim across your lips, your head tilts, almost teasingly when you hand him a small smile. “Do you remember, Jungkook? When I ran up to you and—“

“—kissed me,” he finishes off, and your eyes show surprise when he does.

Covering up your slight satisfaction when he reiterates the memorable moment, right before a few months later when he left the town in such a rush. Frankly, you’re quite delighted that he remembered some of the last moments between the two of you. You attempt to keep your cool and the growing grin when you scoff. “On the cheek,” you correct with a shrug. “It was probably nothing to you.”

“But it was still a kiss,” he argues, “And it was from you in the end.”

“Did you like it?” It’s abrupt and rushed, but your feelings were urgent to know. After all these years. “Did you feel anything for me at that time?”

His mouth opens, yet nothing comes out. He closes it back up to think some more, let the right words filter out before he regrets anything. He would be mortified if you were able to pick out his feelings for you, that he failed to stop thinking about you ever since he stepped foot out of this house and never turned back. That he reciprocates the same overwhelmingly long crush you’ve had on him ever since Taehyung had introduced you both to each other.

“I was thankful,” he simply answers. “Glad that I had you along with Taehyung. I appreciate you both.”

It’s a fair enough answer to reel back and to stop mulling it over for a while. At least until he’s gone and you have all night to recall back your conversation of tonight.

He’s so close yet so far away to grasp, so you ask, “Do you know what it’s like to never know the feeling of being touched, Jungkook?”

He takes an interest at the ground, avoiding to give you a valid answer.

You scoff, tilting your head to the side to narrow in at his face, “Of course you don’t. You lost your virginity years ago to Park Chaeyoung,” you spit. His eyes widen significantly. How would you have known? “Right inside of your room while I waited for you downstairs..”

His brows furrow, “I—How?”

Again, you shrugged carelessly. “You were supposed to tutor me that day. I figured you were taking longer to get ready. Until I heard her, and then you.” Your nose scrunches and for a second you let your vulnerability show, a flash of hurt from the memory of walking into the familiar house, finding and hearing out your newfound nightmare and what was the worst case scenario for you to experience. Your head shifts down and you begin to fiddle with your fingers unsurely. “I showed myself out the door when I realized where I was and what I was doing.”

That was right. He had just taken her out after practice to a crummy restaurant and back to his place. He figured he’d do it before his parents got home from work and thought he’d manage to squeeze it before you arrive for your lessons that he volunteered himself for, plainly because he felt you slipping from his fingers when you began your own trek to highschool. He felt like he was the absolute shittiest when he ran a few minutes late only to get a call from Taehyung that you felt too sick to study anything that day. Little did he know you were sobbing yourself goodnight into your pillow.

The tables have definitely turned now. The bed was your throne and you sat there perfectly composed — something you weren’t a few years back. If anything, if jungkook hadn't been sitting like he was now, his knees would’ve buckled beneath him to fall to his downturned fate and humiliation.

“Don’t think that was it, gguk,” you test. “I sat patiently with all of your other pathetic relationships right after.” Your nails pick at the bedding beneath you, right in the middle of your parted thighs, a place he’d like to put his head in between. “You went through a lot of them.. And fucked for most of it too,” you chuckle bitterly.

He watches you slowly crawl at the edge again, fingers digging into the mattress. You can’t help but take notice at the dark chocolate locks placed perfectly at the front of his forehead.

“Swear it was like,” you took time to think, and with a pout you continue, “once you found out how to work your dick, you forgot all about me and left me in the dust.”

He stares dangerously ahead to find you teasing with a smile, like the she-devil you quickly became.

“No fair, Jungkook,” you tsk. “I’m a big girl now.” You wiggle your hips with a giggle. To get him driven to want you—no—need you. To see what he’s been missing all these years. Murmuring hazily, you prompt, “Don’t you think it’s my turn now?”

He stands abruptly, clearing his throat that ran dry, “Isn’t this shit supposed to be meaningful to you? With a person you love and care for?”

Your eyebrow raises, “Was it meaningful with Chaeyoung?” He’s silent. Clapping your hands, you conclude with a sinister smile, “Well then, I think you’ve given me my answer.”

“Why me?” He questions.

Sighing, you run your fingers through your hair that has grown a few inches longer the last time you saw him. Fuck, you were pretty. He’s noticed it growing up, and he’s paying the repercussions of it now. “I don’t know, Gguk.. I want to get this thing I have for you out of my system already.” It was an easier thing to confess when it’s been already a few years to grieve on his absence, a bit impatient from having to drag on the secret you’ve held so near and dear to your heart and scratched into every diary you used to own in your teenage years. Thinking of those, you’ve realized you have been meaning to burn the stash of books under your desk in some time. You make a mental note of that for later. “I figured you owe me this for abandoning me a few years back. I want to have a taste so I can stop these cravings I get so often these days.”

The childish heartbreak runs deeper than that, but you save him the gory details for later—or never.

His throat restricts itself to give an answer but his cock twitches, failing his belief to tell you that he would never go that route to bestow such havoc to your own brother — his best friend. Why didn’t you see any of that?

You click your tongue, observing the older boy squirm in his seat. “Your hands are starting to get fidgety.” Nodding in confirmation, you slide your legs over to sit regularly. A few seconds before you’d make the move of making your own seat on the same spot he had been nervously planted himself at, what was supposed to be a safe distance away from you in the first place.

God, he was so easy to read sometimes.

He makes a fist, ridding them from your view. The tip of his ears run red and he flusteredly looks away.

“You never answered my question,” you taunt.

Exasperatedly, he answers, “Because I don’t think it’s much of a good idea.”

Sighing begrudgingly, you make your advancement towards him. “Jungkook,” Your tone was dipped in honey, stirred around to further the smoothness to it, causing it to make it easier for you to persuade him into the light of all things bad. “That’s not what I asked.”

Now standing in front of him, he has no choice but to look up with a million questions surrounding his head. You precisely slide a knee to the outside of his left thigh and a hand to the opposite shoulder to meld support. You almost catch off balance when you lean further into him. It traps him into grabbing at your hip to steady you. You have him exactly where you needed him most and you don’t even realize it.

You’re already seated on top of him and he starts to sputter for you to get off, especially when you sat so preciously on top of the overwhelming bulge he holds so distinctly.

“W-What are you doing?” He pushes for you to move but you cling both hands on his shoulders to balance the sudden movements from him being underneath.

“Call this an act of bonding.” You massage on his shoulders to relax him and it visibly shows when they start to loosen under your grip. “I haven’t seen you in a while, it’s only understandable.” You shrug. “Why are you so iffy about it now? We always did this when we were younger.”

“Yes, when we were younger. When there was no space in the car or an extra chair to sit on—platonically. We’re adults now, _____,” he emphasizes.

“Which makes it all the more better,” you ease with a smile he melts at. “Because our choices aren’t ran on our mindlessness we used to hold when we were younger,” you shift around and he hisses, “and we can clearly pick out our feelings.” You lean forward, eyes narrowing, letting your hair fall around him, resembling a curtain and covering up the brush of your noses from the suffocating proximity you hold. “So why don’t you make it easier for the both of us—scratch my back while I scratch yours—and tell me exactly what you want.” You ground down and he gasps. “What I’m willing to give.”

“_-_____,” he mutters, pinching at your hip. You hiss and release a bit, your signature pout forming right after. “Are you asking for your brother to catch us like this?” He scolds.

Then, you’re suddenly gone.

You're quick to get up with a huff, even when his hands argue otherwise, practically tugging you forward and down, you ignore it and whip around to return back to the bed draped in the different shades of pink you’ve accumulated over the years.

“What a tough cookie,” you sarcastically mutter to yourself, plopping your ass back onto the bed and returning to the same pose you held just a few minutes ago. “Not a fun one either,” you state for him to hear clearly, observing him stand and walk forward from your peripheral.

He sighs. “Don’t be mad at me.”

“I’ve been mad at you ever since you left, Gguk,” you admit easily and with your eyes, it lures him to hold an expression of guilt when he catches you so sad from the reminder of it, wondering if this was what it was like the whole time he was gone after that.

It hurts him—and it must’ve been even worse for you.

“I missed you.” He hopes you take it as a form of an apology. “Would’ve been worse if I stayed—If I did something to hurt your brother really badly.” He shudders at the mere thought of it.

“Just.. Let’s not talk about him right now?” You reason. “Kind’ve tired of hearing about the bastard that’s stopping me from receiving any kind of action from you right now.”

He snorts and he’s close enough to tilt your chin upwards. “Hey,” he calls. “He loves you.”

You lean back to let your ass meet the bed with your thighs on each side of you. Sighing, you nod, “I know.”

He doesn’t loosen his grip.

“Look,” you start. “It’s not like I’m asking you to light some candles and be gentle. I just want it gone. Take it away. I don’t care if you stick it in, finish, and roll over. I just want to get this over with.”

He scowls and lets his brows furrow together, “Is that all you think of when it comes to sex? Just some time to pass by? To give and that’s it?”

“I’m not left with a lot of theories after being declined from it for so long,” you reason.

He stares at you longingly and you grow antsy when his hands that cradle your cheeks never leave their gentle touch, you wonder if it would be this soft when you would be in bed with him.

“I’m leaving again in a few days,” he abruptly announces and your frail fingers that are wrapped around his wrists loosen significantly. Your eyes widen and you backtrack completely.

“Again?”

He only nods.

Your eyes unknowingly well up and you close in on yourself immediately, alarmed at the fact you have shown your true self to the one person you’ve longed for the most and for such a cost that doesn’t even benefit you in the end. You rip his hands away from you, almost like a band-aid that’s been clinging onto you for a few long days now, turning gross and dirty and you hate it—absolutely hate the way he openly plays you to run into a deceiving mirage, that everything would be okay when he would come back.

He calls for your name, yet you don’t listen.

“I’m sorry,” is all he says. “I—I figured your brother would tell you when I came. I’m only here to get a few things before I would leave again.”

Your eyes flutter closed and you shift your head, refusing to let him see the way you crumble, especially when he practically towers over you when he doesn’t even mean to.

“I can’t—I won’t take something that’s supposed to be special and just leave,” he explains, heart panging when you don’t lift your head. “Please understand me,” he begs.

“Leave,” is all you manage to mutter out. “Please, get out.”

“_____..” He attempts to lift his hand out to touch you again, but you turn away and refuse, only leaving him to be hurt by the action.

“Tell Taehyung I’ll be down in a minute,” then you glare at him, “Because that’s what you came here for, right? To tell me dinner is ready?”

“I-I..” Nothing else comes out, so he only nods to save him from making anymore mistakes.

You let out a small laugh, it cracks in between, but the facade is still there. “I think it’s the fact that If I didn’t tell you the way I felt, if I didn’t sit you down to tell you myself that I want you and make an absolute fool out of myself like this — you probably would’ve never spoken for yourself..”

He falters, close to arguing until you repeat yourself all over again, hurt and annoyed, “Get out, Jungkook.”

He reluctantly obliges, shutting the door closed and ignoring the thump that hits the door right after, one of your pillows hitting against the surface while you pathetically sit in the middle of your room with tears running down your eyes so pathetically and to your own humiliation to bask in.

Taehyung’s brows furrow and he stands in the middle of his parent’s backyard porch with utter shock. It’s close to two in the morning and he’s tipsy. “You’re leaving early? We just got here.”

It’s a long gulp from his own bottle. “Yeah.” He utters some bullshit about his work and how they want him back sooner. Of course, Taehyung never presses, believing in every word that comes out of his mouth. In a lot of ways, you were both so similar. He doesn’t mention the abrupt confrontation that only happened several hours ago, nor the fallout of it either.

“That sucks,” Taehyung says, “You were the one to suggest coming back home.”

“Yeah.” He gulps the rest down and it burns this time. Midway he only realizes he traded out the beer bottle for the cheap vodka when he previously reached his hand out for another. He stops when the face that takes up most of his mind starts to dissipate into something blurry and lacking definition.

This way, it’s easier.

“I did,” is all he replies with.

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this was a 1k drabble from my old blog so i cleaned it up n added 2k+ words to it!/!/ i wanted to revive it bc she’s so memorable to me

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#bts #bts fanfic #bts smut #bts fluff #bts angst #jeon jungkook #jeon jeongguk #jungkook #jungkook scenarios #jungkook angst #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook drabble #mine #pop goes the cherry

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huacheng-zhu · 4 years

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ok so 2ha. vague spoilers ahead (important spoilers are warned but watch out)

that’s a solid 4.5/5 for me. this novel RUINED me and I loved it for it. it made me feel like very few novels (and even stories in general) did. today I’m STILL shaken over a part of it that I read two days ago, despite the happy ending. I have A Lot of thoughts (shout-out to @whateverwuxian who can testify that I couldn’t shut up about it, love you buddy!!) so I just went ahead and [gestures below]

starting with the negative so we can enjoy all the positive later. feel free to discuss but I’m extra sensitive and these are only my personal feelings so they probably won’t change anyway, so be nice please!

what I didn't like:

too many r*pe scenes. I get that the non-con """makes sense""" narratively and thematically but like. they didn't have to be explicit. at the very least not all of them. sorry but too much is too much. there are more non-con sex scenes/flashbacks than consensual sex scenes! stop! we get it! enough now!

not a fan of a 26yo falling in love with a 16yo. if cwn had initiated Anything I would’ve thrown the novel out the window. but thankfully it didn’t happen, I got invested, and nothing mutual happened until mo ran was 22, so I mostly got over it, but I’m still somewhat uncomfortable with it for very personal reasons.

their first time putting it in. it felt so unfair and I was very upset over it. it could’ve worked without going There? why. was that necessary. and it's heartbreaking for both of them, because mo ran didn't want to do it either. he wanted them to take all their time. he wanted to go step by step. all he wanted was to make sure cwn would be happy and comfortable and never hurt again in bed. for their first time that way he wanted it to be special. but it was just. taken away from them, and for what? for nothing there’s absolutely no reason for it. I get there’s the metaphorical foreshadowing of the upcoming reveal aspect (spoilers) both of them not consenting, mo ran being horrified -> the reveal that mo ran was cursed and so would’ve never wanted to treat cwn like this in the past either if he’d had control (end spoilers) but still?? and it’s never brought up again? I know they don’t get the time until the very end but hhhh. yeah I have Feelings over this

some plot twists hit good emotionally but had no point? thinking of the one about xue meng here.

there’s horny, and then there’s mo ran. it’s not a bad thing, it’s just not the kind of stuff I like reading about and book 1 and 2 are A Lot on that side so in book 2 after a while ME, THE BIGGEST ASEXUAL WHO COULDN’T CARE LESS ABOUT SEX SCENES, WAS LIKE, “oh my god have mercy please just fuck already I beg of you” and indeed they chilled a bit after that. like they were still horny but. less intensely and less all the fucking time. thank god (I still think the farm arc was hilarious to witness though, and I did love it)

kinda wish their reunion at the end was longer and more emotional but that’s just because I love that shit

(spoilers) kinda wish we got to see shi mei again before he went off doing his blind wandering doctor stuff. a talk with ranwan would’ve been very interesting. (end spoilers)

xue meng didn’t get a hug

that one thing at the end you know the one. maybe I'd be more into it if it'd been given time to be explored seriously and wasn't played off as a joke. it kinda ruined the mood of their last scene for me. (spoilers spoilers spoilers this is the end of this section if you don’t want to get spoiled) in that scene I wanted chu wanning to ride off into the sunset with mo ran, not txj. like, txj is the alternate world’s “if there had been no transmigration” version of mo ran 2.0. the whole point is that mo ran IS txj in book 1, but changes and becomes mo ran 2.0. mo ran 2.0, who by the end of the novel has already done all the redemption and deconstruction of his dubious habits. who he was as txj is long behind him. at this point txj will always be a part of who he was, but they are pretty much two 'different' people now. txj disappearing into dust after everything that happens at the end was beautiful symbolism. it meant something. to me there was no point keeping txj around after all that other than for “haha split personalities fighting over cwn’s attention uwu” THAT SAID the fact I'm not a fan of the idea doesn't mean I don't like txj. I care txj a lot and have Emotions over him, and I will definitely eventually explore this in my writing

(still spoilers) the demonic blood reveal was a bit.... deus ex machina? plus I personally would've preferred mo ran staying a regular person (end spoilers)

alright what I liked now:

the themes, both regarding the characters and the various plot elements. this novel really challenges your morals and what you think is right or wrong, what’s redeemable, what’s punishable, and how much one relies on first impressions, amongst other things. this novel is the definition of “don’t judge a book by its cover” but also “look further than the first page” in so many ways

the romance. like I don’t need to say anything there. just, the slow burn, the longing, the yearning, the romance [clutches heart]

the plot twists/reveals. I’m so glad I was barely spoiled (I was spoiled two Big things but very vaguely so I was still surprised) because pretty much all of them had me shouting “WHAT” and/or gaping and/or various “what the fuck!!!”/”holy SHIT”/“NO” reactions

the way a lot of those reveals just completely change your view on things/characters?? that’s my jam

wontons. that was the first time I cried and my first very physical reaction to an event in this novel. I literally felt like time froze. I heard my heart beating. it was painful but AMAZING.

might be nothing in the grand scheme of things but honestly, all the food! I love that mo ran is an excellent cook and can make all those delicious dishes for cwn. as someone who loves to cook for their loved ones I think it’s so lovely that he gets to do that

the character growth. for everyone, but mo ran in particular? like I just. I started off not liking mo ran very much, straight up despising him at times, and in the end I was fucking sobbing over him and cried myself to sleep only to wake up in the middle of the night to cry some more so there’s that

chu wanning? there were aspects of him that I related to heavily, and that felt both like the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known and very special because it doesn’t happen to me that often

the whole deaging arc. that was deaging done right and it had a purpose in the narrative and their relationship growth, I was “!!!!”

I LOVE how they took their time with EVERYTHING once they got together? that it spanned over several weeks? that it started with the confession, then just holding hands, then kissing, then making out, then sex, and even the sex was step by step! it said A LOT about mo ran’s character growth and it respected SO MUCH the fact that cwn is a 32yo (unrelated but (spoilers) I like to argue that yeah he’s been alive for 32 years but when you’ve been asleep and not aging physically nor growing mentally for five years in a way that makes you a 27yo. so when he calls his body “mature and old” and compares himself to shi mei I’m just. buddy your body is just three years older than shi mei’s there’s barely any difference in maturity right there. I know it’s your lack of self-worth speaking, and believe me I get it, but don’t be so hard on yourself. (end spoilers) anyway, this is an unimportant and unrelevant thought that I had during the mirror scene) who has no experience in any of these things whatsoever. he's not pushed into sex like he's going to be comfortable right off the bat and like it isn’t such a big change in a life that’s been ascetic so far. mo ran is aware of that! and when they have their first time mo ran, who’s been maybe even more horny than cwn all this time - seriously horny is that guy’s middle name, who initiated the sex, what does he say!!! "don't worry about me, tonight, I just want to make you feel good"??? mo ran?? your character development??? I appreciated that so much.

the pain. I’m still bleeding on the floor despite the happy ending but yeah. I like angst and I was not disappointed. it didn’t feel that gratuitious to me, more like, brutally honest? I don’t cry that easily but by the end I think I’d cried, what, close to ten times??

quite a few excellent quotes [lies down] “I realized - I had grown into the you in my heart”?? “hell is too cold”??? I highlighted more but those two are the ones that always come to my mind first

most of the time the flashbacks were perfectly inserted for maximum emotional damage and I respect that skill

xue zhengyong. like he’s not my favourite, my favourites are xue meng, nangong si and ye wangxi but? I just adored him so he gets a special mention

the side characters? like, I legit loved Everyone? when I cry over side characters you know it’s serious

THE CONFESSION SCENE. LIKE. HOLY SHIT MY HEART. it comes reaaally close to the vocal one (because hua cheng confesses so many times without words) at the end of tgcf for me. it was beautiful. I was so emotional. the fact that cwn can't say it no matter how much he feels it. like it's always been plain and clear just how much he loves mo ran. but he can't say the words yet and I just. the fact that mo ran gets it? that he doesn't need the words, just that squeeze of fingers, just what cwn is, at that moment, able to give him, and it doesn't mean less to him than words would? it hit home real hard

unless I think of something else, that’s about it! I can’t recommend 2ha enough, that said, I beg of you, heed the warnings. they are NOT overstated. and even if there were no warnings, take care anyways. the angst is serious, it haunts you. angst always makes me feel like my chest is being squeezed and that’s precisely the feeling I’m looking for when I choose to read angst. I have good tolerance to it, so despite not doing entirely well lately, I thought I was tough and went for it, but I’m a CLOWN. the way it’s written ruins you. this morning despite reading the hardest part of the angst on saturday evening, I still had some physical chest pain. so I recommend it with all my heart, but take care of yourselves. 2ha doesn’t fuck around.

#2ha #bee talks #i will probably tweak and add to this post over time because I probably forgot stuff #anyways I'm gonna go lie down and cry over ranwan as I think about my fic ideas #2ha review

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restinpeacesensei · 3 years

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@thatlittledandere

HWAAAAAAA;;;;; THANK YOU FOR YOUR TAGS IM CRYING;;;;; 😭😭😭 i wish i could like tags so you know i saw them bc i refreshed at like the moment you posted these and i just dissolved sob sobbb;;;; 😭😭😭 thank you for my life this week;;;; \T~~~~T/

#*waluigi scream* wwwAAAAAH #ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE 'JUST OPEN AND HONEST COMMUNICATION BUT WITH REALISTIC AWKWARDNESS AS A SIDE DISH' COMICS I LOVE #it's a;; difficult conversation but THEY'RE HAVING IT!! and being respectful as always #😭 #oh god i. i feel this. i feel this in my bones #the mortifying ordeal of being known etc etc #loving all the swear drops all throughout this #and the little flower-cloud-things in the last panel!! adorable #blushing lines even in the speech bubbles shjhfdg you why know how to use effects #panels three and four?? parallel blushing. mmm the cinnamon tography 🤌 #i almost know how to comment on layout #anyway!! even more progress in this saga #even more HUGS #a bitch can never have enough hugs (it's me I'm the bitch)

WALUIGI SCREAM WWWAAAAAHHHHH!!!!! \;;-----;;/ (OKAY BUT AFTER WHAT YOU TOLD ME ABOUT MARIO HATS LAST TIME HOW DO I NOT PICTURE YOU AS WALUIGI NOW?!!) AGVHSDGD TH;;; THANK YOU ;;;;;; 😭😭 it means SO much to me that you like seeing these conversations anD that the awkwardness comes across as realistic!!! if there’s anything i want, it’s to be real and human, to express through creative work what it is to be a real person, to feel like and be treated as a real person through it... so it means a lot to me that it comes across as honest and real to you, thank youuu;;; 😭😭😭 ALSO HONESTLY IT IS AWKWARD. idk there’s this association of awkwardness with teenagers and then when you grow up you’re “supposed” to be, idk confident and assured or whatever, but like it’s still awkward to have this type of conversation as an adult and/or if you don’t do it often lol... probably it gets easier over time but you still don’t know how every person is going to react and how to adjust for that ;;;

YEAH IT’S ;; a difficult conversation ;; thank you im happy that comes across;;; T---T i swear just having it is the main part of the battle oTL but i also won’t have it unless i feel comfortable with the person first;;;; anD it means so much to me that it comes across to you as respectful!!! 😭 i grew up with the impression that.. you either Couldn’t talk about these things or else you could only talk about them in ways that were crude, mocking or otherwise made me uncomfortable, and i really want to portray.. a different way of approaching them, a softer more considerate way, and it makes me really happy people can feel that ;; \;;~~~~;;/

OH GOD. THANK YOU FOR FEELING IT ;;; THANK YOU FOR BEING ABLE TO RELATE ... my whole experience here is the mortifying ordeal of being known l mao (throws this in even though im not laughing bc you laugh when you feel awkward LOL;;;;) and like i don’t know why it feels this way bc when i see other people post personal work im just like. i mean it doesnt matter cause i dont know them at all, as with everyone else im just looking for stuff i like, so if it’s not my interest im probably not really going to think about them at all... (which is both reassuring and terrifying to me, since im seeking connection on a human level ;;) ...but everything feels different when you start to actually know a person and have to consider them as a person. the internet makes it easier to share things bc you feel like you’re at arm’s length from everyone... but it also feels lonely for the same reason ;; i want to be known.. but in a way that i feel safe. i keep sharing even when im scared, even when i feel like it hurts, bc im looking for that feeling of safety ;;; and sometimes;;; it hurts a lot;;; but when that feeling comes, it’s worth it ;;;;; 😭😭

THANK YOU IM HAPPY YOU LIKE THE SWEAT DROPS!!! 🥺 i am so delighted that you appreciate my effects agjvsf i Have to put in the anime reactions to get the feelings across!! (i probably think in anime reactions LOL) you noticed akoya’s little flowers omg i love how you called it a cloud that’s so cute 😭 im so happy i put them in ;; 😭 PARALLEL BLUSHING THANK YOU IM SO HAPPY YOU NOTICED THEIR MIRRORED REACTIONS IN PANELS THREE AND FOUR!!! 🥺 my cinnamon roll akoyas approve of the term cinnamon tography 👍 AND I AGREE you can never have enough hugs!!! 😭 THANK YOU your words are a warm hug for my heart 😭😭😭 i hope you get endless HUGS from whoever you want hugs from!!! \>/////</

#they're sharing a bed!! #NOT the first time at ALL but like. it looks so comfy it stood out lol #GOD that must be the SOFTEST MOST COMFORTABLE BED in the hemisphere #not that these two would accept anything subpar #anyway #akoya was feeling so embarrassed he had to get away from kinchan for a moment and still talked about it right after coming back!! #literally stronger than any US marine #'would i be more beautiful if i hadn't said it' no no no baby nooo no worries that has nothing to do with it 😭😭 #nothing more beautiful than laying yourself bare and vulnerable in front of those you care about (and who care about you in return) #kinshiro is adorable here #just a head #he holds

HAJVNSJJNDH IM SO HAPPY I WAS ABLE TO MAKE THIS BED LOOK SO FLUFFY IT STANDS OUT!!! 🥺🥺🥺 ty Also for remembering it’s Not the first time i feel continuity validation,,... THE SOFTEST MOST COMFORTABLE BED IN THE HEMISPHERE!!!! CRIES..... thank you so much for describing it like this, i feel like i will sleep the most softly and comfortably from now on.. im so happy i could make it look so soft and fluffy;;; 😭😭😭 “not that these two would accept anything subpar” AMVJHSGHD TRUE LMAOOO their combined standards are going to be next-level (except they probably aren’t well practiced in taking care of standard everyday tasks and would get tripped up by ordinary household chores LOL;;)

glvksjkd i like the idea akoya was so embarrassed he had to leave for a moment!! although Actually i had intended that he really did wake up cause he had to go to the bathroom agjkvjhsg then he just stood there agonizing bc he was embarrassed to use it after what he said bc it would feel.. embarrassing... g;ljkvhdfg i think he did eventually though ;; “stronger than any us marine” HE WILL TAKE THIS COMPLIMENT THOUGH!!!! 😭😭😭 THANK YOU!!! 🙏🥺

“no no no baby nooo no worries that has nothing to do with it” CRIESSSSS;;;; 😭😭😭 thank you so muchhh;;;; for reassuring him with such calming and soothing loving wordsss;;;; 🥺🥺🥺 ty for calling him baby criesss he loves it ;;; 😭 (avjhsgd did you Notice kinchan calling him angel though.... HE TRIED... to find a compromise between his comfort level and what akoya wants to be called LOL) thank you so much for reassuring him he is beautiful and knowing he cares for kinchan and is cared for in return w aahhhhh;;;;; 🥺💕💕

a;kvjsghd though tbh i;; i kinda prefer to focus on the feeling of safety and it being okay to be and share myself than the laying bare and vulnerable part OTL;;; i dont really like to think of it as being vulnerable bc in my mind that means there is risk, there can be hurt... and to me when im comfortable with someone and there is mutual care for each other, i feel safe sharing with them ;;

the feeling of being bare and vulnerable makes me feel sick and i dont like it... i have felt it nearly all the time for years bc just throwing myself out into the void of strangers makes me feel like that ;; and societal messages led me to believe that if i was scared or felt uncomfortable opening up, that was a problem with myself and i should do it anyway bc i was supposed to “get over it” or “be more comfortable” with myself... i am now slowly reclaiming my right to my own boundaries and seeking to create a feeling of trust and safety before i talk about anything sensitive. i have realized that i deserve to be comfortable and i am the one who decides who and what i am comfortable with.

THANK YOU FOR CALLING KINCHAN ADORABLE HERE WAHHHHH;;;; 🥺🥺🥺 just a head THATS SO CUTE WAHHHH;;; 😭 im happy people like bundled-up kinchan;;;; 😭 he holds!!! yes.. akoya is Safe he is okay;;;;; thank you so so much cries;;;;; it really means so much to me;;;;; that you were willing to talk about this THANK YOU;;; 🥺🥺🥺🥺💖💕💖💕

#reply #also sorry if this post is too long im getting paranoid of whether i said too much agvsfdfgdg

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gglitcha · 3 years

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there are times where she doesn’t feel the need to seek out her favoured company in this universe right away ; her streak of morbid curiosity and her natural urge that stirs in her to investigate each world she pokes her head into cannot always be denied . independent exploration is a private thing ...

tucking herself away from judging eyes and the mortifying ordeal of being known , however briefly , to take the guise of somebody else . it’s a simple series of edits to her code that manage to conceal her otherwise unmistakeable identity . though the gentle glow she exudes cannot be dulled , the rest of her defining characteristics strip away under her ministrations .

bigger , peakier eyes , lined with dark shadows , their gaze nothing short of lifelessly haunted . darker hair , straighter , limper , shorter , less flouncy from the static electricity that clings to her build like one of the leeches that plague this place . her feet are bare . the dress is dull in colour , patched all over and grubby , with all the flattering appeal of a potato sack in it’s design . her nose is longer in length and her mouth is a grim , determined line ... and the complexion of this disgusting human skin is pallid and sickly .

couldn’t look less like herself if she wanted to . she keeps her feet planted on the floor , suppressing the almost innate urge to kick off from the ground and float through each area , and instead paces softly from area to area within the boundless hellhole that is this little nightmare .

it smells like shit . the poignant odour of death , no , outright slaughter , clings to every corner of every room . an inhuman sound of intermingled disgust and horror croaks from the depths of her throat as she clambers over a cart of body bags , entombed , frail little carcasses , and leaps to snag her grip around the door handle . it swings open to reveal yet more corridors . she presses on . data swims in her head , details of the code are all but murmured into her ear as she drinks in her surroundings .

it is around here that she finds them .

roger , with his freakishly overgrown appendages , is busying himself wrapping up ... something . a very bloody , fleshy looking something . better not to confirm her suspicions , she figures , though there might not be too much harm in throwing him off his meticulous work for a while . luring him into a chase . smashing things over his great big head in the hopes it’ll shatter his thick skull . curling her fingers into him and wiping him from existence altogether in a torturous blaze of white hot agony as his code is frittered and burned and bled out of this pathetic world , why not , why NOT ,

a faint shifting at her side pulls her attention from the grotesque janitor , and glitch glances across , form tensing and bracing to make tracks under the assumption it’s something hostile . maybe a leech ... or just one of those strange little oddities that flee before her . nomes . what awaits her expectant gaze is something else entirely ; a shivering child , hugging their knees closer , cowering in a cage like an unruly animal long since beaten down into something fearful and docile .

her brows knit . her eyes dart upwards , and there are yet more of them . tear - streaked cheeks , resigned posture , and perhaps the heaviest , most forlorn silence she’s ever had the displeasure of contributing to . it’s almost suffocating , the despair they exude . revolting , sneers something within her almost instantaneously . a kneejerk reaction . pathetic . leave them to it .

but she can’t stop staring .

one of them must sense her staticky eyes boring into their hunched form so intently ; they eye her , then sit up and stick their starved fingers through the meagre spaces in the bars . they don’t say a word . can’t say a word , she assumes , on account of that blind bastard flapping his ears only a few feet away . but a cry for help , unspoken or otherwise , is a universal language that needs no further clarification once one bears witness to it . the other child blinks out at her , and glitch swallows .

her fingers itch . she wants to tear this shivering captive to pieces for the crime of even breathing , just like she always does , with every single one of these primitive humans she stumbles across , but ------ but , perhaps all the destructive intent crackling in her magic , the ruinous power of her touch alone , can be directed toward ... something else .

“ ... ” glitch draws closer . “ ... move back , ” she instructs under her breath , making a slight ushering , shooing motion with her hand to indicate . uncertain , timid , the other kid obliges , backing up against the other side of the pint - sized prison . her fingers close around the cold , oppressive steel , trembling with the desire to eradicate , and they will , they will , but not in the way they’re so accustomed to ,

she feels them burning under her touch . splintering , buckling , the code bleeding into nonexistence , the act of damage as easily enacted as breathing itself , and the cage is wide open to rush out from . a tremulous , artificial breath heaves from her lungs . the other child stares , wondering , taken aback , caught off guard ------

------ before skittering out , shoving past glitch full force without so much as a word of thanks . they don’t look back . their footsteps are soft , almost muted , they tiptoe with care and skirt meticulously around every grievous creak in these telltale floorboards .

some of the others look to be sleeping . they jerk awake fearfully when she crumbles their cage with a faint crackle of distorted static , the shattering of endless neat lines of binary , though they catch on quickly and make similar reckless mistakes . as though the act of uttering a word to their saviour might make her think twice about what she’s done for them . and honestly , it might . so she’s glad they put plenty of distance between her and them .

it’s for the best .

one of them , however , is utterly unresponsive . for a moment , she thinks they’ve died in there . that they’re rotting away , beyond help already . frowning deeply , glitch touches a hand to their shoulder , and gives them a gentle shake .

“ hey . get up . ” ... nothing . yet a quick check of their vitals , their code status , indicates they’re very much alive . a huff of impatience heaves from the girl as she shakes the captive child again , more firmly , now .

“ c’mon , you’ve got to go while you still can . before that freak of a janitor comes to snap your neck and bag you up ... are you listening ? i know humans are pretty stupid , but this really freaking takes the cake ------ not leaving when the chance to is served up on a silver platter , ”

their stifled sob interrupts her insistent nagging . the child shoves her away with one hand , turns away so as not to face her , scrubbing fiercely at their face as though simply hiding the evidence of their bout of weeping will cause this intruder to forget she heard it entirely . a moment of hesitance , on her part ; she’ll just leave them to it . you can lead a horse to water , but you can’t make them drink ... in the words of some undoubtedly feeble - minded , perfectly average human she hardly cares to credit for the sentiment .

------oh , please . she’ll be wondering what the hell became of them for the rest of her miserable farce of existence if she doesn’t do something . with an unintelligible yet rarely understanding murmur , glitch slips her hand into theirs , and tugs imploringly once more . “ please . please , come with me , come with me right now , before ------ ”

... roger’s been very quiet over there , now that she’s thinking about it . doesn’t he like to still and swivel his ears when he hears the slightest disturbance going on ? not quite daring glance over her shoulder , far more aware of how quickly he’ll snap this stupid toerag in half as apposed to fearing for herself , glitch yanks without warning , pulling the other child from their prison with a startled yelp , a brace for impacting the hard floor wracking their frail form ,

glitch grips their hand , still caught in midair , hovering , and they barely graze their nose against the ground . they look up at her wildly , demanding explanation , but there’s hardly time for that .

“ we’vegottagowe’vegottagowe’vegottago , ” she gabbles , leaping to the floor and landing beside her newfound company , and a mangled shriek escapes her as a huge hand that dwarfs both children slams down close by , intent on cupping around them . perhaps they finally got their shit together , or perhaps the commotion finally kickstarted some sense of panic or drive to live that got them going ------ regardless , the escapee grips her hand tightly as she rushes them through the area , blipping in and out of existence to make subtle jumps forward and put as much space between them and him with the dumb little human in tow .

the weight of what she’s doing , what she’s done , almost chokes her .

they escape his pitiful attempts at searching easily , his sluggish pace hindering any chance of keeping up with the crazed bundle of mismatched code donning features that aren’t anywhere close to her preferred human guise lest ... somebody ... catch her doing this . her hands are shaking . this other child must notice , because they offer her comforting squeezes and bump against her lightly as she continues pulling them through the endless stretches of environments , not sure how to disengage , detach , what to do with herself .

they thank her with a soft voice , hoarse from misuse , scratchy with dehydration , croaky from earlier tears . glitch pretends not to hear . they tell her they hate it here . glitch pretends not to hear . ( THEY’D BE BETTER OFF DEAD . THEY SAY IT THEMSELVES , ) they tell her she sure is quiet . glitch can feel her eyes stinging with terrible , terrible , wet , hot things ,

they ask for her name . glitch shakes her head .

i have to go now .

go ? go where ? you’re leaving me ?

well , sure i am . you can take care of yourself . or if you can’t , well ... you know . some tragic fate will befall you .

don’t leave .

no , i have to . and--- and don’t tell ANYONE about this . about me . i mean , it doesn’t matter , because ... they wouldn’t know it’s me , even if you ... just ------ button it . and don’t you dare die , you little cretin . not after i went out of my way . see you around .

see you around , see you around . it feels like a command . an instruction . a wordless , desperate , choked up cry of i’d better see you around .

#we all stare directly at her #i get to do whatever i want and you all just have to deal with it . / glitch ic #child death tw #death tw #murder tw

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lesbian4lqg · 3 years

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yall are so lucky i cant write bc it would all just be me subjecting every character to the mortifying ordeal of being known

like, i keep thinking about a stupid time travel au that just,,,,,,,, drops the post canon sect leaders&main gang (jc, nhs, jl, lxc, lwj, lsz, ljy, wwx, wn, oyz) into the sect meeting in nightless city right after the sunshot campaign? like, the one where we first see the jin sect atart to fuck shit up bc jgs sits in wrh’s seat? that one

bc like, thats kind of the only time we have all of the characters together after their identities&relationships have been established but before shit really starts to go down? and i just think thats so interesting? like how long do we think it would take someone to try to beat the shit out of jgy and jgs, verbally or physically? who starts sobbing their heart out first? who is most horrified? what bs gets explained first? who starts crying at jyl’s feet first; wwx, jc, or jl? what the fuck does jzn have going on?

esp bc i feel like, now that nhs has killed jgy, hes kinda done? like, he would do it again (bop bop) but i feel like hes too tired to keep playing games and he kinda knows who he can trust (esp w his da-ge there), so maybe he would just fucking go for it and lay out all of jgy and jgs’s crimes w/out hesitation? and then be like, “anyway, wwx? you lowkey owe me, so if you dont mind? fuck em up”

also jc having to tell baby jc about wwx’s golden core? bc i feel like thats either prevented or a smaller issue in a lot of time travel shit and like????? its interesting bc i kinda think immediately after the sunshot campaign is prob when that would hit the hardest, yknow? wwx is at his his second lowest point so far and to hear that not only does it get worse, but its already worse than anyone was aware of? fucking wild. also itd prob be p jarring for post canon lwj, jc, and the juniors to see exactly how badly wwx was doing? like lwj and jc knew at the time, but they didnt really understand, so itd prob hit different?

IM ADDING THIS BC I CANT BELIEVE I FORGOT: THE WILD FUCKING REACTIONS TO CONCIOUS FIERCE CORPSE WEN NING!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE HECK

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qvincvnx · 4 years

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some cdth spoilers under the cut before i really get into reading other people’s reactions

jokes about sexy gansey aside, i am so so SO excited and thrilled to see where this - all this - about mirrors, copies, clones - goes. i had and have no idea where she’s going. but the themes... ART AND VIOLENCE... the artistriê... miss maggie has outdone herself.

i very much enjoyed everything about matthew and jordan. matthew has been around longer than jordan! but at the same time... it IS different.

i like that ronan is stable. i liek that ronan is ina place where he knows what is happening, and he has dreams where adam is 35 and feeding him tomatoes and just like, doesn’t want to deal with the psychological implications. i like that he knows what he is doing. i like that he is helping other people, fiercely and ferociously, i love son boy

hennessy can join the dead boys club ladies’ auxiliary for youths traumatized by their own deaths in a ham-handed metaphor for trauma and/or chronic and/or cyclical (mental) illness

i like that fletcher is fat. we stan a fat queen.

i don’t like that declan goes to film crit club. he could do better. he knows what he cares about and i am somewhat bored by his inability to find it. however i loved everything about declan pov i just don’t like that even his attempts at the mortifying ordeal of being known involves being an art hist guy who is LIKE that. i am very very interested in his relationship with jordan and how that will change him - he is such a MUSEUMS sort of a personality, ordered and fixated on PRESERVATION and stillness and compartmentalization, that involvement in creation and - let him LIVE like let him really expereince... things. i am really REALLY interested in where his arc will be going and i was surprised in a very nice way on the whole i was just like. buddy.

when gansey appeared on the page the first time, i gasped. the second time i did let out an audible cry and begin to sob. i love my son. i LOVE him.

i am VERY INTERESTED in what is going on with the trees. that the trees are watching - that the trees are awake - that the trees are sleeping - i am curious about - now that we know that blue isn’t GONE - what this means for the tree-people, for the ley lines, for the sleepers the wakers, the relationships between dreamers and trees, trees and dreamers. i think this will be something big.

MANAGEMENT

really interested by all of the references throughout this book about inheritance (especially inheritance through the mother, inheritance through dreaming). i didn’t make a note of everything but - the not-XX not-calico, ‘aurora died because of mother-daughter genetic illness’, hennessy and J and being the same stuff as your mother was, declan (VINDI FUCKING CATION)

i like the size and scope of this world, and gray and henry and seondeok and blue still present

at the same time, or perhaps: mostly, this makes me think declan’s mother might be also a dreamer, and made her own copy of niall as he made aurora.

i am worried, for once, about adam.

#cdth spoilers / ?????

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thegeminisage · 5 years

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having some merlin thots this evening

it’s really fucked up that during 2.08 merlin could be there with and for arthur the entire time he dealt with all those deep and horrifying emotions about his mother but in 2.13 when arthur’s business came up he had to keep it so fucking close to his chest that even when he was sobbing he still had to cover his mouth to muffle the sound and there is no one who can comfort him or even bear witness to his pain. arthur goes through the mortifying ordeal of being known and reaps the just rewards (merlin loves him) but what does merlin get? nothing

there are so many times merlin could have said something and have it be helpful - he could have told morgana so many TIMES and maybe it would have helped her or stopped her, he could have told arthur and maybe it would have changed things and he just DOESN’T because as long as there’s a non-zero chance it could go badly he’s not willing to risk it

i think merlin, as gaius’s apprentice/ward/adoptive son, is emulating him a little too well. in 1.03 merlin was only too happy to declare himself a sorceror in front of god and everyone if it meant saving a life. since then he’s buttoned it up so tight not even the people closest to him know the truth. gaius is the same way - he keeps important secrets for uther and he keeps knowledge about arthur’s birth a secret from arthur, knowledge about morgana’s magic a secret from morgana, all from fear of it all going wrong. he let his friends die in the purge while he found himself a lifeboat, like, this dude a SURVIVOR and furthermore he’s a WALL. and merlin WASN’T LIKE THAT but he IS NOW because he’s emulating gaius (a little too well in my opinion - imo this is gaius’s fatal flaw/worst trait, and it’s rapidly becoming merlin’s, too) - merlin is serving the royalty as a close friend but he is playing all his shit close to the vest. he’s literally doing exactly as gaius does down to the letter

MOVING ON!!! arthur said “im a prince so we cant be friends” but they are friends. THEY ARE FRIENDS. in season 1 it wasn’t as good it was mostly arthur like. bullying merlin but they’re friends now they give each other shit relentlessly and they’d die for each other and they confide in each other (well, arthur confides in merlin) and THEY ARE FRIENDS. thank you

furthermore there’s been multiple times in the last few episodes i’ve watched alone where arthur cracks jokes about merlin bossing him around and seems to want to needle merlin about his moods - why are you being so quiet, merlin, why aren’t you smiling, merlin - god it’s such a big fucking change from season 1 and SUCH a welcome relief. yeah, they’re not equals in society, but they act like they are. it feels like they are. it’s good shit!

like. come on. “no man is worth your tears” “you’re certainly not” I YELLED. arthur’s face when he realized merlin was really gonna go face certain death via dragon with him. arthur calling merlin wise. THEY ARE FRIENDS!!!!

#personal #merlin blogging #i started this post hours ago and got distracted #but im right about merlin and gaius #liz's meta #liz's merlin stuff #liz makes stuff

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yoificfinder · 4 years

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Any recs that showcase the yuuri&yuri friendship?

This rec of fics centered on the podium family dynamics is essentially Yuuri & Yuri friendship too, anon. And here are some more that heavily feature their friendship:

A Little Less Sixteen Candles by @nebulous-bounds-of-bad-taste [T, 1K]

Yuri thinks hiding in a closet is a good way to avoid the fact that everyone knows about his crush on Katsuki.

Until Katsuki shows up, that is. Because of course he wants to talk about it.

A Most Glossy and Ignominious Fate by Wynn [T, 5K]

Death by poster. Yuuri had already avoided that humiliating fate once in his life, moving faster than a bullet train to rip all his Viktor posters down before the living legend himself had bounded into his room in Hasetsu. But it seemed like Yuuri would not be able to avoid that fate twice, not with the heartfelt way that Nikolai Plisetsky stared at him now.

“For Yuratchka,” he said in halting English. “For birthday. Please.”

Or the story of how Death comes for Yuuri on little l1eopard feet after he signs a poster of himself for Yuri for his birthday.

Dot, Dash, Star* by shorelines [T, 29K]

People with soulmates were blessed with lights like stars. Viktor Nikiforov was born without one, Katsuki Yuuri would have two, and Yuri Plisetsky pretended he had none.

They find each other anyway.

here comes the flood by PenPistola [T, 4K]

"I just… why?" Yuri grits from between clenched teeth. His tears are coming faster now, a steady plip-plip turning the fabric of his sheets a darker blue.

"Why what?"

"Why are you being so… so nice to me?" he demands. "I was terrible to you that time in Sochi, when I heard you cry. What I said was–" he sniffs, "it was cruel." Yuri has never been one for introspection, for regrets, for examining himself and his behavior, but this, he knows. "I don't deserve kindness. Not now, not from you."

"Yura," Katsuki says softly, the kindest admonishment he's ever heard. "Viktor and I love you. You're family."

Oh.

in wine we trust by @fireblazie [T, 2K]

Yuri peers into the expanse of the apartment and finds a single, flickering light in the kitchen. He stealthily tiptoes across the floor with the baseball bat clutched tightly in his fists, only to find that, what the hell, this bastard is actually fucking raiding his fridge.

“That’s my pirozhki, asshat!” he snarls, ready to swing his bat when the intruder turns around.

Shit, Yuri thinks. It’s Beautiful International Student Yuuri Katsuki.

Player 2 by SuggestiveScribe [G, 2K]

Yurio crossed his arms over his chest. "You didn't bring that much from Japan," he commented, throwing his gaze around Viktor's apartment. "So what's all the rush with this one thing?"

There was a moment filled with nothing but more rustling and butt wiggling, and then Yuuri suddenly emerged, glasses skewed and hair a mess atop his head.

"It's my PS4," he answered, tipping his glasses back to level on his nose.

Poster Boy by dieofthatroar [M, 8K]

In a drawer beside his desk, Yuri Plisetsky keeps a poster: A 2012 Japanese national team poster of Yuuri Katsuki. He had never been good at explaining himself.

Pride by @kakikaeru [T, 3K]

Yuri deals with the mortifying ordeal of being known.

Projectile Motion [G, 1K]

If someone put a gun to his head and made him list everything he knows about Yuuri Katsuki, it’d look like this:

1. Annoying

2. Smiles at babies for no reason

3. ??

4. World’s Okayest Skater

Secret Language by preciousbunnynoiz [T, 1K]

“It serves you right. How fucking dare you go around being so fucking attractive” Yuri said in harsh unforgiving Russian. His head whipped up when Yuuri made a sound of surprise and saw the Japanese skater was looking at him in shock while blushing up to his ears. Yuri felt all the colour drain from his face.

“Oh fuck. You speak Russian don’t you” he said

step out by shizuoh / @haikuyus [T, 1K]

At first, Yuuri sees it in the way Yuri's eyes linger on the fancy dresses the models wear in Viktor's stupid modeling shows. Sees it in the way Yuri will catch sight of a girl in a fluffy skirt and sigh.

He figures Yuri won't come out with it outright, so he takes matters into his own hands.

"Yurio, would you like to go shopping with me?"

YURI!!! on fire by glassteacup [G, 4K]

Poor Potya is stuck up a tree and Makka-mutt and his marbles for brains of an owner Viktor are to blame. Luckily, help is on the way!

Honestly, there are so many good Yuuri & Yuri fics if you search their relationship tag (with an &) on ao3.

---

Other people's rec:

Glory Is Two Steps Away by Quirmzi

In Which Yuri Plisetsky Definitely DOES NOT Have a Crush by death_frisbee

Thanks for the rec, @themis-76 and @opelemmescootpastya! ❤

#yuri on ice #yoi #yoi fic rec #yuuri and yuri friendship

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danishprince · 5 years

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redid this 92 questions meme from 4 years ago for Fun and Profit because i like seeing how much i’ve changed over the years. not tagging anyone, but if you want to answer the questions, go wild

what was your…

last beverage? woter

last phone call? a confidential call to a research lab at my university because they’re studying alcohol use in young adults and wanted to know if i fit the criteria to be in the study (i do, so i get money for it fuck yeah)

last text message? i told my dad that our neighbors got two of their trees cut down and his response was “Wwwow”

last song listened to? currently listening to “evening prayer aka justice” by ezra furman!

last time you cried? maybe like saturday or sunday? not really sure

have you ever…

dated someone twice? nah

been cheated on? don’t believe so

kissed someone and regretted it? eh i’ve had a few kisses that i look back and kinda cringe at because we were really drunk or i was Not Into Them or whatever, but actually, truly regret? no.

lost someone special? it’s been awhile since anyone close to me died. my maternal grandma (and step-grandpa) are getting pretty old/less healthy though so i’m like starting to already feel weird snatches of anticipatory grief for that which :/

been depressed? i’d say so yeah, on occasion

been drunk and vomited? fun story i briefly thought i was allergic to alcohol freshman year because i’d throw up every time i drank. TURNS OUT however i just was a dumbass who didn’t know how to hold their liquor

list three favourite colors: hot pink, teal, black

in the last year, have you…

made a new friend? yes indeed

fallen out of love? cannot say that i have

laughed so hard there were tears? oh constantly. though i do that regularly because of the dumbest shit, so that’s not, like, an anomaly

met someone who changed you? YES the professor of my psych lab whom i ADORE

found out who your true friends are? yeah, or at least i feel way more comfortable and grounded in my friendships than i did. which is cool!

found out someone was talking about you? i overheard my coworker at our (drama-filled, my god) orientation leader job bitching about some other coworkers, but then what she said about me was “yeah katie’s pretty cool” so i was like :) :) neat

kissed anyone on your facebook “friend list”? hell yeah babey

general questions.

how many of your facebook friends do you know in person? the vast majority. there’s a few Spelling Bee Kids who’ve just added me for Spelling Bee Clout that i don’t know irl, but otherwise i don’t really add people i don’t know

how many siblings do you have? 1 (one) 16-year-old bröther

do you have any pets? 1 (one) very old round guinea pig named hamlet

do you want to change your name? eh not really. i’m not, like, obsessed with it, but it’s a decent name and i have no urge to change it

what did you do for your last birthday? i turned 21, but it was a monday, so i went to a restaurant with three of my friends and ordered 1 (one) Alcoholic Beverage. then later that week i went to a coffee bar that serves alcohol later at night with some of my other friends and had more Alcoholic Beverages there

when did you wake up today? 9:30ish

what were you doing at midnight last night? being asleep lmao

something you cannot wait for: going to arizona and later going back to kentucky for senior year of college (holy fuck)

when did you last see your mother? like 15 minutes ago, she’s doing laundry or something

what is one thing you wish you could change about your life? where 2 begin. uhh i wish i was more naturally outgoing instead of having to consciously turn on my Extrovert Persona in certain scenarios and end up getting super drained from it. i also wish i knew what the fuck i was doing with my life but i think that’s just, like, The Eternal Twenty-Something Mood (at least i hope it is dear god)

what are you listening to right now? the song “rodeo” by lil nas x, which PERSONALLY said gay rights

have you ever talked to a person named tom? yes multiple, and every tom(my) i have hated (sorry if you’re a tom and you’re a decent human bean)

what’s getting on your nerves right now? i have to do a bunch of important life and school stuff but i am procrastinating it! so i guess...my brain

most visited webpages: twitter, tumblr, discord, instagram, the dear prudence advice column on slate dot com lmfao

blood type: o+ i believe, but i am too smol to donate blood so i do not know for sure :(

nicknames: some of my friends refer to me over text as k8e and i love it tbh. also katie itself is a nickname

relationship status: single but like, kind of a thot

zodiac sign: virgo sun cancer moon cancer rising

pronoun: they/them but she/her is also fine

primary school: private lutheran school

middle school: the same private lutheran school

high school: public school

college: university of kentucky for undergrad and also a concurrent grad program (long story). maybe more grad school???? somewhere else??? or not???? I Don’t Know

hair colour: honey blonde

long or short: hair? just got it cut short in january and it was the best decision i ever made

height: 5’6"

do you have a crush on someone? define “crush”

what do you like about yourself? i’m a good listener and writer and also sometimes my Funney Joaks land

do you have any tattoos? nah. i am afear’d i’d regret it

are you right- or left-handed? right-handed

first surgery: some ear procedure thing in kindergarten. if that doesn’t count i got half my wisdom teeth out the summer before college and the other half the summer after freshman year (but was technically awake for both)

first piercing: ear piercings when i turned sixteen

first best friend: uhhhhh my friend stephanie from home-preschool? or this girl named grace who was my kindergarten best friend but then moved away

first sport you joined: i believe dance classes when i was but a little peanut

first vacation: idk? we went to san diego when i was two i think? don’t remember it though

first pair of trainers/sneakers: good question. had some boss-ass light-up shoes once

right now i am…

eating: popped corn

drinking: woter

about to: hopefully write this [bernie sanders voice] damn email, but who is to say : - )

listening to: my liked songs on spotify (currently “i think i’m going to kill myself” by elton john)

interested in having children? if that’s how the proverbial cookie proverbially crumbles, yeah. that idea seems really far away even though i know high school classmates with kids.

interested in getting married? yes, but if and only if i meet the right person

ready for a career or have one? [sobbing]

which is better…?

lips or eyes? eyes generally, but lips are also Good

hugs or kisses? k i s s e s. i lov to kiss. love hugs too though if it’s with friends

shorter or taller? actually being a similar height to me is optimal!

older or younger? mmm i tend to subconsciously lean older, but younger is fine too

romantic or spontaneous? the wording seems to imply that “romantic” and “spontaneous” are opposites which just isn’t true. both??

nice stomach or nice arms? arms i guess?

sensitive or loud? my first impulse was “loud” but like....loud in that i tend to gravitate to people who are more extroverted than me, but not in terms of being overtly annoying or demanding.

hook-up or relationship? :^) judging by my History(tm) it’d be committed hook-up, lol. but like either is good. am not about sex with a stranger though.

troublemaker or hesitant? troublemaker ~vibes~ but not actually, like, a danger in any way. being hesitant can be cute, but i myself am often pretty hesitant so it can become an Awkwardness Standoff more often than not

have you ever…

kissed a stranger? no, but came damn close in greece

drunk hard liquor? oh yeah lmao

lost glasses or contacts? i’m sure i’ve lost a pair of contacts somewhere in there

had sex on the first date? depends on your definition of “sex”, and also on your definition of “date” really, but also Yeah

broken someone’s heart? i hope not, but i think maybe :/

had your own heart broken? ....ish?

been arrested? nope

turned someone down? yyyyyyep

cried when someone died? not in my memory? though i might have

fallen for a friend? :^) haha oh yeah

do you believe in…

yourself? i try oh my god do i try

miracles? i think

love at first sight? nah. i think intrigue at first sight is a thing, or lust at first sight, or even just a bizarre extraterrestrial sense of Knowing, but real genuine love? nahhhh son you gotta know someone deeply for that. mortifying ordeal of being known and all that

heaven? mm yeah i’d say so

santa claus? no, and i haven’t for a hot minute there

kissing on the first date? lol yeah kiss away

angels? fuck yeah sometimes they’re circle things with 56879879677 eyes and they’re cool af

well in review i have indeed changed quite a bit from myself four years ago! in summary i am more of a thot and also drink alcohol. idk. my answers then ~seemed~ more sure of myself in terms of, like, this façade of being chill all the time, but less sure re: how i related to other people. all my angst on those questions was about school instead of general personhood. 4 years ago i also definitely /remember/ being insecure (at the time) about the fact that i’d never kissed anyone/etc., but my answers themselves don’t look that way. (sidenote being insecure about that kind of thing really isn’t worth it, everyone does life at their own pace.) whereas now i feel more open actively discussing my insecurities (see above re: future plans/etc.) instead of just boxing them down and pretending they don’t exist. as a high schooler i thought i was bad at being a person, and i feel like i’m a lot better at being authentic with myself (and ergo, being a person) now. though of course there is no right way to be a person which is something i still frequently have to remind myself.

ANYWAY yeah that was a fun waste of an hour feel free to use these questions for yrself

#tag meme #personal #92 questions #about me

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