#two posts in quick succession? on this blog? it's more likely than you think

[queenieofaces]

I swear, my students this semester are going to make me either combust from emotions or have to write a post about queer mentorship because so far I've got:

student who asked about my ace ring

student who came to office hours to talk about gender, because they're trying to figure out their own gender and they thought I would have helpful things to say

student who said he was really grateful to have an openly non-binary professor because it means that he can see a model for what his future might look like

student who keeps dropping by office hours to talk about being a QPoC (and having to deal with racism in queer spaces)

all the students who just casually come out to me in office hours (god. I know that the world has changed so much since I was in college, but what a gift regardless)

and then of course the two separate students who have asked me for help with their D&D campaigns, which is honestly the funniest possible read of me

#what is my academic life #queer futurity #two posts in quick succession? on this blog? it's more likely than you think #(don't get too excited though; I am still buried under one thousand pounds of grading and course prep) #anyway students looking at me and being like 'oh this is an adult who has it figured out' is the funniest thing in the world to me #I actually need an adultier adult at all times. but we are all doing our best together.

[roseykat]

TITLE: Play Tight

PAIRINGS: Bang Chan x f!reader

SUMMARY: Reader and Chan divulge their ‘excuse’ as to why they couldn’t make it to hot pot and barbecue dinner with their friends.

WARNING: minors DNI with this post or my blog. I create NSFW SKZ related content and I know I won’t be able to regulate/monitor every potential interaction with those posts so please do not engage with me, my work, or page whatsoever.

TAGS: smut, porn with plot, swearing, multiple orgasms, squirting, overstimulation, unprotected sex, creampies, fwb, some pillow talk (ish)

PART 1 / PART 2 / PART 3

🏷️ LIST: @chillichillicrabcrab23 @broken-glowsticks @ihatemen55 @boi-bi-ahaha @galamxy @weareapackofstrays @anglerfishiey @elizalabs3 @fr34k4c1dr41n @stayconnecteed @imnotjjini0325 @twinklix @meilix @livsposts @dawn-iscozy @princejisung @valibals @oiikaro @im-sinking-in-mud @aalexyuuuhm @baby-yongbok @/leftkittenface @20minsat180degrees @itsthatbri (if you want to be removed or added to the tag list, please lmk!) ⭐️

A/N: if you don't know what a refractory period is it's essentially about the ability of most women to cum back to back or one after the other in a short span of time between one orgasm and the next. Therefore, if it seems as though I've written about reader having multiple orgasms within quick succession, that's because she is and Chan is making the most of it. Also I really pushed the time limit with uploading this part bc I spent the last few hours trying to get the fan club which took fucking ages...

Hot pot and barbecue with friends - now that sounded fun. 

You saw the group chat messages from earlier, and the plan to all meet up at half past six. Had you not orchestrated other arrangements, you would be sitting with them right now enjoying nice meals and chats. Instead, your body remains to be railed thoroughly, right into the bed that belongs to none other than Chan. The owner of very capable hands who had just finished fucking you on his couch earlier on. 

He too missed dinner with everyone for the same reason. Selfishly being, to get laid. 

Chan presented half of a lie to the group chat, saying that his family was back in the city - which was true, and that he was going to visit them, so he couldn’t make it - not true. You on the other hand conjured the only fib you could think of and told everyone that you were going to be working past six.

Both of you felt relatively guilty for ditching the dinner. However, it would’ve looked ten times more suspicious if the two of you suddenly changed your minds at the same time and decided to show up. 

But why would anyone suspect anything? Nobody knew Chan was rearranging your guts every other night. Or so you thought. That dirty, slutty little secret was only kept hushed between you and Chan. These past couple of months you’ve spent at each other's houses, tainting the very last remnants of innocence either of you had. 

You wouldn’t have realised it at first until you experienced it for yourself, but Chan is and can get really horny. Before him, there was no such thing as ‘hard-paced’ or ‘nasty’ sex. It was fairly vanilla, which there’s nothing wrong with from time to time. But at the minute, that wasn’t the cup of tea you fancied. No. It was something much dirtier and riveting, something that makes you feel like you’re very much alive. 

Chan was able to achieve that in less than half an hour after you both hooked up one time after a night out. Sure there might’ve been alcohol involved, except neither of you were drunk enough to completely forget what an amazing time you both had. So much so that you and Chan decided to hook up again. And again, and again, until it became a weekly event. 

In saying that, there were a few layers as to why you and Chan started seeing each other regularly. You needed the de-stressor from work that had been hounding you for months, and among other things, there is nothing like a good dick down to make just about make every worry in your mind disappear.

As for Chan’s situation, it wasn’t as light. Having been cheated on by his long term partner, Chan entered what you refer to as his ‘hoe phase’ to which he was rather embarrassed to learn that it’s something that people tend to go through when they’ve broken up with their significant other. 

Nonetheless, you and Chan unexpectedly found each other in a way friends wouldn’t typically, and it was only limited to that. No strings attached, still remain good friends, and the best mind blowing sex. 

“Fuck - yes, right there!”

Chan’s hips ram unforgivingly into you from behind. Creating godly, euphoric waves that ripple throughout your body each and every time he does. His fingernails clutch themselves into the soft flesh of your hips, allowing him to use that small bit of traction to pull your body back onto his cock or for him to thrust forward mercilessly. 

This was way better than dinner with friends. 

“W-Wait,” you reach behind to the side of your body, trying to tap his arm and prompt him to slow down so you could get your message across without having it fucked right out of you. “Ride…lemme ride you.” 

Chan swallows and nods, taking a short breather, “yeah, yeah okay.” 

Whilst you’ve learned a lot of things about Chan since you’ve started sleeping with him, he’s also learned some stuff about you. Like discovering throughout your secret sessions with him that you seem to cum the hardest when you’re riding him. He doesn’t entirely see the appeal of it since he doesn’t mind picking up all the slack just so you don’t have to do any of the work. At the same time, however, nothing feels as good as fucking his frustrations into you.

But he also doesn’t mind them getting fucked out of him. It easily added to one of the reasons why he found it so hot to watch you ride dick. 

As he gently slides his cock out of you, moving into the next position where he now gets to lie back against his pillows. He watches you straddle him first, then take his length in hand before aligning it with your hole. Slowly, you sink down onto his cock. 

The ‘o’ shape in your mouth enlarges when the entirety of his length vanishes inside you. He’s big. Something you can’t always grasp every time you sleep together. The silver lining in that however is that the foreplay is amazing. 

“Christ,” you breathe out, lifting your hips up and down a couple of times, groaning as the pleasure already built up from before starts re-taking its effect to its highest extent. “Fuck, make me feel so full.” 

“So you keep telling me,” he responds with a cocky grin as his hand reaches up to one of your tits and gropes ravenously. “But that’s what you like isn’t it? Having a big cock inside you, yeah?”

Your hand claps right on top of his, the other stabilises your body on his chest as you start riding at a pace comfortable enough to build some momentum. It doesn’t take long until every part of your body feels like warm flames are tickling your skin, leaving tingly traces in their wake. 

“Yes, love it so much,” you pant breathlessly. “Love it when it makes me cum.” 

Chan is glad to hear that. Then again, he knows. He’s fucked you long enough to know what you like, what you don’t, and what type of pleasure can turn your mind inside out. With that in mind, and one hand still groping you, he uses the other thumb to find your clit and rub generously. 

“F-Fuck, oh my god, don’t stop, don’t stop,” you plead in anguish as you start to feel your orgasm shift into sight. 

It’s right there. The utmost pleasure and ecstasy at its apex swells from the pit of your stomach, to your toes, all the way into the crevices of your brain. Every part of you - physically and mentally, just seems to melt into Chan. His cock, which feels like it was made for you to use like this, glides frictionlessly until his tip kisses your g-spot so lovingly. Each time it hits, Chan earns extra centimetres of long red scratches down his abdomen, marked up by your fingernails. 

“Cum,” he demands through gritted teeth. “Fucking cum all over me.”

Brainless and vacant as you were in trying to respond to him, your actions seemed to speak for themselves. As Chan continues to move his thumb consistently over your clit and you bounce yourself still on his cock, your eyes suddenly screw tight shut - shuddering before a surge of relief gushes from between your legs. 

Chan grins sickeningly. 

The untapped pleasure squeezes and strangles moans out of your throat, yet, in the few spare moments when you had come back down to earth, your stomach felt like it dropped at some point along the way. The minute you open your eyes, breathing hard and heavy, your attention catches on to the mess you’ve made. 

Most of Chan’s abdomen is soaked with your juices, his taut torso gleaming with your cum. Droplets of it roll down his side and seep into the sheets below him. From there, the humiliation is quick to ensue. Chan even sees the panic fill your eyes. 

“Oh! I’m so sorry,” you whine apologetically. “I don’t know what happened! I was - I was caught up in-“

Chan ceases your babbling by grabbing the undersides of your thighs and just about throws you on your back as he moves to top you. His sudden movements catch you off guard, wondering for a moment what he was doing until he started fucking you again. 

“Chris!” you cry out, latching around his back. 

His head buries into the crook of your neck, “wanna feel you do it again. Wanna see you drip down my cock.” 

At his words of request, you knew it was possible with the way that his dick hits deeper, pressing against those sensitive spots inside you that have been milked of pleasure. It’s not difficult to feel it building up again. There’s zero refractory period, allowing you to cum in an uninterrupted procession. At this stage, Chan could just whisper dirty things in your ear and have you become a squirting mess on his bed for him to watch. He wondered if that was actually possible. 

After watching and making you cum an extraordinary amount of times this evening, Chan was about to witness another, this time, mixed with his own release of pleasure. He can never ignore that dense pressure stacking up in his cock, like a blocked pipe that’s about to burst with the help of the tension from your contracting walls. 

One hand at a time, he places each beside your head to lift himself up while still trying to maintain a consistent pace. Then he coils back, grabbing the undersides of your thighs again and leaning some of his weight down so that he can press deeper. 

Tears are pricking your eyes - not from any pain but from pleasure you’ve never felt. It’s so intense and has nowhere in your body to escape that the longer you hold it in, the more explosive it’s going to feel. As your emotions exude the ferocity of another orgasm, Chan absorbs your expressions, giving him a very clear estimate of when you’re about to cum. 

“Gonna give me another one?” he asks even though you’re in no state of mind to give him a verbal answer. “Gonna be a good girl and get my dick wet one last time?” 

You shake your head but only because you’re unsure if you can actually take that pressure that’s about to blow. Regardless of how high he has built your orgasms for you, you always take them well. It has you sobbing - screaming and clutching onto his bedding as you whimper that you’re about to cum. Chan could only just hear you over the sound of his skin slapping against yours. 

“You can do it,” he reassures you. “You always do.” 

At that moment, as if he just flipped a switch inside you, Chan had you gushing in an instant. Your upper body contorts to the left and stiffens as he fucks you right through it, right until his own orgasm slaps him on cue. Grunts mixed with whimpers force their way out from the base of Chan’s throat. His cock uncontrollably spurts his hot white cum, coating liberal amounts on your walls with a few hard, deep thrusts. 

"Fuck, oh my god," he groans through gritted teeth, satisfaction seeping through into his blood.

He pulls back to sit on his heels, looking down as he grabs the base of his cock now slicker than usual with milky, almost transparent liquid rings of white. The fact that both of your juices have mixed together does something to a sick part of Chan’s brain. His lower half is still dripping with your cum, forcing you to shy away into the bunched up sheets when you realise you’ve made another mess on him. 

Too weak to speak up about it, Chan had no trouble reading the room and caught onto your emotions. He was right to assume that you were embarrassed for it but fuck if Chan could experience it all again, he would. That then strikes an idea as he massages your inner thighs with the palms of his hands. 

“That’s never happened before,” he comments with a little bit of surprise, making you turn with embarrassment, all the while trying to ease you back down from your high. “So fucking hot.” 

His thumbs rub into your wet skin, inching closer to your pussy. Before you know it, the backs of his fingertips are brushing over your hole where his cum is leaking out of you. Semi sticky strings of it attach onto him when he pulls away and goes back in to smother it all the way up to your clit. He thumbs softly over the sensitive bud, setting fire again to the muscles in your lower half. 

You shudder a little bit from the faint stimulation, and finally muster the energy to talk, “yeah…d-don’t know how. Usually it’s - mm, just cause’…maybe you were hitting the right spot.”

Chan doesn’t meet your eyes, and by the preoccupied look on his face, it was clear that he had another agenda as his thumb continued to rub mindlessly. Although, he did hear you as he smirked and shook his head. 

“Nah, that was all you,” his mouth falls open slightly as he stares down at where his fingers begin to disappear. 

“Chan…” 

“I reckon you could give me one more,” he predicts as he starts to finger you slowly. “Just one more.”

“Please, fuck...” You whine loudly throughout the room. “D-Don’t think I can…please.” 

Chan moves to the side of you just a little bit, placing his other hand on your lower belly to apply just a little bit of welcoming pressure while he ignores you, “yes you can pretty. Only one.”

His fingers curl deviously inside you, forcing an automatic bodily response for your eyes to roll to the back of your head and back to arch clean off the bed. As he strokes over the spongy area, your fists are clenching on the duvet. Your body is beyond sensitive and squirms uncontrollably at the faintest of his touch. 

“Chris!” You sob, tears now leaking down the sides of your face from the euphoria. 

This was the closest replica to being high. It’s like the pleasure picked up where it left off from the previous orgasm Chan brought to you and nearly doubled in intensity to the point where you thought for a moment that you were going to black out. But it hits you harder than before since his fingers have a bit more precision to find and hit your g-spot rather than making you feel fuller. 

“That’s my good girl,” he says encouragingly. 

There and then, as Chan detects the tell-tale signs that you’re about to cum, he finger fucks you at a generous pace that doesn’t let up on the time your insides have to try mitigate the pleasure. It goes into overdrive, sending a bunch of all the right signals straight to your brain. 

“C-Cum…cumming…I’m-”

Chan appreciates the fact that he’s reduced you from crying and screaming his name to a silent, overstimulated mess. Alternatively, you’re surrendering entirely to the ecstasy which sweeps you under like a current. Chan doesn’t need to hold you in place for you to take what he’s giving you with his fingers. He just gives and gives, and gives until for the third time, he has you squirting. 

“Oh yeah, look at that,” he grins excitedly, watching his palm and all the way up to his forearm become completely drenched in your juices. “What a good girl.”

By that point, Chan was successful in running your body dry. His pace slows down, now gently stroking inside you. Your quiet, strained moans die down, along with a reserve tank of energy you had left. You were limp and helpless, a gorgeous mess on the bed for him to admire. 

Chan slowly takes his fingers out, gently massaging around your sensitive pussy, “fuck, so good."

You turn onto your side, processing all of that. For a few moments before, it felt like you had had an out of body experience, and maybe you were. Everything was so consuming and powerful that for a second you didn’t feel like yourself. But that wasn’t a bad thing, nor did you think of it that way. It’s just a new experience that you welcomed, one that made you feel good multiple times. 

Chan hops off the bed and kneels beside you onto the floor as he strokes and pats your head, “you okay?”

You nod then go to sit up, “mm, just out of it. Give me a few minutes.” 

“You - you shouldn’t move so much, not now at least,” Chan warns, then quickly spots the uncomfortable expression on your face as you realise that everything beneath you is wet and sticky.

“Your duvet,” you say to him, looking down and around at all the large damp areas.

“What about it?” 

“Well it’s all ruined-” 

“They’re not ruined,” he says defiantly like a stubborn child, almost like he was offended you even made that sort of comment. “It looks…fucking hot.”

“Hot,” you repeated with an airy chuckle. 

“I didn’t know you could do that,” says Chan, bewildered. 

“Neither could I to be honest,” you agree wholeheartedly. “It was really…intense and...strange.” 

“Strange?” He retorts. 

“Not a bad ‘strange’, just something I’ve always heard of, but never managed to do with someone else before,” you reply. 

Chan smiles to himself, looking at his bed before that grin drops off his face, “never managed to do it with someone else before? As in, you’ve done it before, just…on your own?” 

You blink up at him, quickly changing the subject, “reckon the others are still out?” 

“I’d imagine so,” he says, still thinking about what you said previously. 

“Hot pot and barbecue sounded so nice too…” you trail off, eyes going in and out of focus. Your body is starting to catch up to you.

“Well, luckily we live in the era of food delivery, right?” He responds confidently. “Let me clean you up first, then we can hop in the shower. After that, I’ll order it in for us, sound good?” 

Sometimes when you’re with Chan, you forget that at the end of the day, he’s one of your good friends and still acts like it after you sleep with him. He knows when to be your fuck buddy and when to be your mate. None of it is awkward or weird and nor does he strive to make it that way. 

Potentially it’s because of his nature to be a gentleman inside the bedroom just as much as he is outside, hence why you had a considerate amount of gratitude towards him for not being an ass like some of the people you’ve hooked up with or seen casually in the past. But that could never be the two people you slept with a few weeks back. 

Not Hyunjin nor Jisung, whom you’ve thought about ever since that night at his apartment. Although it was truth or dare that led you all to the events that unfolded, you would’ve still slept with them anyway without the game. Just thinking about the two of them makes you miss them. Makes you miss the way that they touched you. 

It was a different feeling to how Chan normally touches you. With him, he’s a friend with benefits. Someone who can call you or you can call him whenever either of you need each other. As a result, there isn’t going to be anything fond or loving between the pair of you - which you’re more than happy with. You made that clear to Chan at the start that you weren’t looking to enter into a relationship with him at any stage if that’s what he was thinking. 

Thankfully, he wasn’t either. 

But when Hyunjin and Jisung touched you, it was surreal. Almost natural, like they were meant to feel you that way and only them. That was the difference between them and Chan, not that you were comparing them since you saw them in separate positive lights.

There was just something about those two that left a strong imprint on your brain, something you can’t scratch without them…

I strictly forbid and do not permit ANYONE or any user on any platform to copy, re-upload, translate, remake, or pass off any of my work here on Tumblr or to any other online platform whatsoever. Doing so will result in having your account suspended, deleted, taken down, and or permanently banned.

#rosiewritesskz #stray kids smut #skz smut #bang chan smut #bang chan x reader

[xbruised-peachx]

I love your hcs! And I love that you write for Gromsko and Fender!! ❤️❤️❤️

I checked your blog to see if you're accepting requests but I couldn't find anything. 🤔

I wanted to ask how you think those two act around their crush before they confess to them/how they go about asking their crush out?

Please ignore this if your requests are closed 😅

(thank you!!! for a ref, my writing requests are open! pretty much only req i dont do is render request, but my writing requests are always open!)

Tags: fem!reader, not betaread, one shot, slight angst in fenders section

Gromsko w/ a crush

I've gone into this in Sowa Team but he's kinda the type to genuinely not believe you're single and just assume you're taken. I mean... come on, how could you not have a lucky someone? He admires from afar, adoring the way you talk, you walk, your smile. He notes the way you react when he talks to you though, looking away when you catch his gaze, a softly blush barely appearing on your laughing face. He never asks directly, instead hearing from others or from an implication from you that you aren't taken. He takes that and starts to flirt a bit more, starting to call you little pet names but only in Polish, assuming you wouldn't understand and if you do understand... then you'd get his hint. Kochanie, malenka (everyone is small to him), kotku, he'll even tease light-heartedly; "Whatever you say, piękna..." He'll play off your words, making you smile and laugh however he can because he just can't get enough of it. That's how he finally asked you out too, catching him looking at you while eating lunch.

"You're staring at me like you're a cartoon character," you called him out and you were right, head in his hands and slightly tilted. "Only thing missing is the hearts in your eyes."

He chuckled, shaking his head as he broke his gaze. "Yeah... I can't help it I guess." He paused, looking back at you with such soft eyes. "...I could just look at you for hours. I think seeing you smile would be my sunrise in the morning."

You laughed, your cheeks starting to blush. "Gromsko... have you thought of waking up to me?"

His smile dropped slightly, realizing he slipped up, his eyes darting as for once, his confidence fell. "Maybe..."

"Mhmm... and how long have you thought about that? Why were you thinking of that?" You teased him playfully.

He smirked, gaining a bit of self-assurance as he looked back at you. "I think you know why..."

With a sly smile, he let his hand slip over to you, letting that be his answer as he looked at you with adoration again... and you accepted.

Fender w/ a crush

With the way he is, knowing his father's fate... love terrifies him. He's tried to keep it out of his mind and for the most part it had been successful. People would catch the way he'd be struck by you, lingering looks for longer than he has for anyone else... and when called on it it struck him in a different way. He'd notice how his heart skipped a beat when he saw you smile in pure joy. You'd never catch him looking though because he'd look away just as quick, snapping himself out of it. He wanted to keep you smiling, but to him the only way to do that was to keep away from you. He lived a dangerous life... his heart ached just thinking about hurting someone by leaving them. And he could avoid that by simply never coming into your life. But he could only avoid for so long. Once you started talking to him and he got to know you more... he started falling more and more. But he remained in denial, despite how often you insisted on wanting to hang out with him, showing how much you enjoyed his company, he convinced himself you didn't like him like that. But as he got more comfortable around you he also got more comfortable sharing, eventually sharing his fear... even his fear of love and why.

"I... can understand that," you said sympathetically. "I'm sure seeing your mom all your life post... I can't even imagine but I can understand."

"...It's hard still. She always said I looked like him... the way her face dropped in fear when I told her I was joining but... I also remember her pride in telling me to protect my face..." He paused, looking away from you and to the floor, shutting his eyes as he took a deep breath. "...Even if I don't date anyone... the idea of leaving her alone is..."

He couldn't finish his words before a releasing a shuttering breath. You let him have his moment of quiet before scooting close, putting your arm around him to help ground him back to reality before dark thoughts took him. "I know you're scared but... Fender, you don't have to suffer alone with these thoughts... I'm here for you, no matter what."

He slowly looked to you, tears just barely pricking his brown eyes as he hesitantly leaned into your touch, enjoying it but still having anxiety. "...Thank you......" his voice was soft, and his smile showing his absolute gratitude. It took a while for him to gain the trust needed to let you love him... to let himself show love to another. But when he did, he couldn't be happier allowing himself to be vulnerable in a way he never has before.

#call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #cod mw2 #gromsko #gromsko mw2 #gromsko x reader #ask peach #fender mw2 #fender takacs #fender x reader #mw2 x reader #call of duty x reader #cod x reader #UHHHH THIS IS LONGER THAN I THOUGHT NORMALLY I'D PUT A READ MORE SO IT DONT TAKE UP MORE SPACE #BUT IDK WHERE TO PUT IT SO IM SORRY #fender writing #grom writing

[yaimlight]

Rating: E 18+ (minors do not interact)

Pairing: Bakugou Katsuki x fem!reader

Summary: Katsuki's been jealous of yours and the half 'n' half's relationship since the get go but seeing the two of you out together like it's some sort of date finally pushes him over the edge, his temper finally getting the better of him. It probably wasn't his best idea to show up at your place, screaming blue bloody murder and trying to break your door down, just like it wasn't a good idea to threaten your nosy next door neighbour but Katsuki was desperate, already falling apart before he had even seen that murderous look in your eyes. He couldn't lose you, not to that two tone bastard.

A/N at bottom of post

Katsuki’s fist collided with the door with two loud bangs in quick succession causing it to rattle in its frame. He was probably using too much force, his anger getting the better of him, but he couldn’t help it. He was pissed off and he had never been good at keeping his anger in check at the best of times.

When he had decided to come over Katsuki had had every intention of apologising to you, of making things right because he knew he had been wrong to act the way he had. He had even managed to calm down to go get you flowers, scrutinising ever bunch or roses and tulips until he found one that he deemed good enough to give you. He had it all planned out, how he was going to hand them over with an apology that didn’t sound half asked and an explanation to his outburst. It would have been perfect, would have had you smiling and inviting him in with that coy look in your eyes, but Katsuki had made the mistake of looking at his phone, originally wanting to check the time but instead being greeted with his news feed and the latest gossip headline.

The photos of you and Todoroki had been everywhere, appearing quickly amongst the trashy gossip sites and fan run blogs. Each and every one of them saying the same thing, unknowing of what it was doing to Katsuki. He had just stood there on the street, rooted to the spot and staring down at your bright smile and amused eyes that were completely focused on the other man. Katsuki knew the restaurant you were in, had been saving up for months to be able to take you for your birthday but just like always that bloody half ‘n’ half bastard had gotten there first, proving once more that Katsuki just wasn’t enough when it came to you.

The two of you looked good together, what with you both leaning across the table, heads in close and looking way to intimate for two people who were supposed to just be friends. Todoroki was smiling fondly at you, his mismatched eyes soft and full of affection as you whispered something to him. You looked like a happy and perfect couple; caught in the middle of a romantic and sweet moment that you had thought was private. You looked like everything everyone expected of you, like everything Katsuki would never be.

Everything had come crashing back down on him then. Doubt and fear, panic and anger. They had swirled around inside his head, drowning out anything else and suffocating him. He had been unable to do anything others than stand there, staring at the photo and watching as comment after comment flashed up, each one saying how cute you looked together, what a lovely couple the two of you would make and insisting that you and the bastard had to already be in a relationship considering how close you seemed. Katsuki hadn’t been able to move, his body and mind going numb. Stupid. He had been so bloody stupid to think he could ever be enough for you, to believe he would ever fit into to the world you lead. He was just some street rat; a college drop out with a bad attitude and a criminal record. He wouldn’t ever be able to give you the life you deserved. He just wasn’t good enough.

Katsuki’s mind stuck on that, repeating it again and again. He wasn’t good enough, never had been. Ever since he was a snowy nosed brat Katsuki had been told that he wasn’t good enough, that he had to do better, push himself harder and even when he did those things it was never enough, ending right back at being told he wasn’t good enough and needed to do better. He had been stupid to think that things with you would have been any different.

Someone had slammed into his should, jostling Katsuki’s grip on his phone and reminding him that he was still stood in the middle of the street. Slowly he blinked down at his phone, his frown deepening as he thought about everything that had led him too here. This wasn’t his fault; he wasn’t the one off getting all cosy with another guy for everyone to see, looking all happy and carefree when you had been claiming heartache not three hours ago.

Shoving his phone back into his pocket Katsuki had carried on to your apartment, his anger growing with every step. He was angry at bastard Todoroki for acting like he had the right to do those kinds of things with you when he knew damned well that you were with Katsuki. He was also angry with all those extras that thought they had the right to decide who you should be with simply because they though you looked good together and had seen you solaces all over the society pages. Of course, Katsuki was angry with you as well for being so oblivious to what was happening and what it was doing to him but most of all Katsuki was angry at himself for being so weak. For letting this get under his skin. For not being able to handle his emotions and potentially ruining a perfectly good part of his life because that was where this was heading if he couldn’t get himself under control. This was going to ruin everything between the two of you if you both carried on this way, but Katsuki felt helpless to stop it, too caught up in his anger to think clearly and rationally.

By the time he had made it to your apartment his anger had fully taken over, his rage and indignation bubbling under his skin and just waiting for an outlet. He hadn’t even realised he had dropped the bouquet of flowers he had gotten you, not until he was outside your door and slamming his fist as hard as he could against the wood, the bunch of yellow roses and white tulips nowhere to be seen. Wherever they were they were probably ruined, trodden down into nothing under the uncaring feet of the worthless extras. Whatever, he didn’t care. It ain’t like he as in the mood to be giving you gifts anyway. Not right now at least.

When he got no answer Katsuki growled, slamming his fist harder against the door. “Open the fucking door Y/N,” Katsuki yelled, “I know you're in there!” His voice echoed back at him, bouncing off the corridor walls and making his rude demand sound even louder than it had been. There was still no answer though and, in his frustration, Katsuki kicked the door, his heavy-duty boot leaving a black scuff along the once clean and pristine white paint. It looked out of place, just like he did in your fancy ass apartment building, dressed in his street clothes and looking like a mad man. He had always felt out of place though, like you were slumming it with him with your designer clothes and disposable income that was more than he earned in a year at both his shitty jobs combined. He guessed the rest of the world would think the same to if they ever saw the two of you together. Would probably think he was your latest charity case, helping the scum of society make something of himself in society because you were a bleeding heart like that.

Before he could really start taking his anger out on the door it was yanked open and Katsuki was greeted with your angry glair. You had changed since your little outing with that Todoroki bastard, now in leggings and an oversized sweatshirt that was half hanging off one of your shoulders. You looked soft, comfortable even, well except for the almost murderous intent in your eyes and the clenched fists at your side that suggested you wanted to hit him. Katsuki kind of wished you would hit him, at least then he would have some kind of idea of how to react, how he was supposed to handle this whole messed up situation because if there was one thing Katsuki knew how to do it was fight. This emotional shit that required him to talk about his feelings and communicate clearly, he wasn’t so good at.

“What?” you snapped when he didn’t say anything, crossing your arms over your chest and standing up straight like you were trying to make yourself look as big and imposing as you could. It would have been funny, cute even, if Katsuki wasn’t so blinded by his anger. Snarling, Katsuki stepped forward, getting as close as he could without stepping through the doorway. “Let me in.” His voice was low and demanding, more a growl then his normal deep timber. You didn’t move though, the door remaining only half open and your body blocking the way. Your scowl deepened, lifting your head up slightly in defiance and practically daring him to do something about it. “Move,” he demanded from between clenched teeth. He was being rude, he knew that, but he was too far gone, the fragile hold he had on his anger having shattered the moment he looked at his phone and seen those stupid pictures of you and that half ‘n’ half bastard acting like the latest ‘it’ couple.

“No.” It was a simple answer, said with such finality that Katsuki was a little surprised you hadn’t tried to shut the door in his face. He would deserve it, he knew that, but it didn’t stop him practically growling at you and flashing his teeth like some sort of wild dog. “Why the hell not?” Katsuki was spiralling, forgetting every technique his therapist had taught him to stop this from happening but the more you refused to let him in the worse it got, his mind racing with all the reasons why you wouldn’t let him into the apartment. To him it seemed so obvious why, that bastard Todoroki having sensed a weakness in your relationship and swooping in to take advantage of it before Katsuki even had the chance to fix what had gone wrong. Katsuki would kill him, wring his scrawny little neck and make sure he knew in no uncertain terms that you were his and that he better leave well enough alone if he wanted to stay breathing.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe it’s because I didn’t want to be anywhere near you right now.” Your harsh words stung, and they really should have helped him to calm down but all they seemed to do was stoke the fire of his anger making him want to lash out. He wasn’t the one in the wrong here, you were what with your sneaking around and play happy bloody couple with another man. Katsuki had every right to be angry and your piss poor attitude wasn’t going to change that.

“Let. Me. In.” Katsuki leant right in until his face was hardly an inch away from yours, his fists clenched at his sides and the words forced out from behind clenched teeth. “No,” came that infuriating simple answer again and Katsuki finally snapped, unable to hold himself back any longer. Crying out in anger and frustration Katsuki slammed his fist into the wall next to your door, the plasterboard cracking under the impact. Vaguely he was aware that he was causing criminal damage, that he was going to get you in trouble with the landlord and that if he didn’t get himself and the situation under control, he could very well find himself back in a cell and out of a job and an apartment. He just didn’t care right then. With every second that he spent denied entry his suspicion grew, eating away at the last fragile stings holding him in check. “Fucking move,” he yelled. You barely even registered his loud and aggressive outburst, unmoving and uncaring as he snarled at you. Katsuki lifted his hand with every intention of shoving you out his way so he could go beat the shit out that stuck up bastard but before he could even so much as get his hand on the door there was the unmistakable click of a lock being open, a door creaking loudly in the now quiet hall. Katsuki’s head snapped to the side; his eyes narrowed as someone stepped out into the hallway.

Your neighbour was a creep in Katsuki’s opinion, with his perfectly flat hair and square glasses, his crisp white shirts buttoned all the way up and tucked into his perfectly pressed black slacks. He was always around, always watching and waiting and it just got under Katsuki’s skin. He would have called the cops ages ago if he actually thought they would do something but knowing his luck it would somehow get all twisted round and he would be the one that got arrested, needing you to come bail him out. “The fuck you lookin’ at four eyes?” Katsuki spat the words out, sneering at the darker haired man and hoping he would just grumble about Katsuki being rude and shuffle off like always. He could see you stiffen out the corner of his eye, your fingers curling around the door and eyes narrowing. “Bakugou,” you hissed, voice low and full of warning. Katsuki froze, his veins filling with ice, his next shitty comment getting stuck in his throat.

That name. That one fucking word shattering his heart yet again. The two of you had argued over the year or so you had known one another, it was unavoidable considering his personality and your stubbornness, but never had you been that mad at him to be so formal, so distant and it hurt to feel you pulling away from him like that. you hadn’t even called him that at the beginning when you had barely known one another. It had always been blondie on dynamite or even gremlin until the two you had gotten closer at it had become Katsuki. It felt wrong to hear you use his family name now but maybe it was a sign that he had fucked up so badly you wouldn’t take him back this time.

The guy pursed his lips, his dark eyes narrowing. “Is everything alright?” His sharp and calculated eyes flickered between the two of you, though he could probably barely even see you around Katsuki. It felt like he was being appraised, the man’s distain for Katsuki’s behaviour and ripped jeans evident in the way he looked down his nose at him. Snarling Katsuki clenched his jaw, his hands balling up into fists at his side as he straightened up. Where did this loser get off, implying that you were anything other than safe with Katsuki. Yeah, he was pissed and hurt and all kinds of fucking desperate, but he would never raise a hand to you, never. He may be from the wrong side of the city and have a bit of a reputation for being a bully, but he wasn’t the kind of scum that would do that, no matter what people thought.

Your laugh echoed down the hall, the sound clearly forced as you leant around Katsuki and waved the other man’s concern off. “Sorry Iida-sama, everything’s fine,” you smiled, all trace of your previous anger gone. He supposed that was a perk of having to be camera ready all the time, you had learnt how to hide what you were really feeling quicker than a flash of a camera shutter. The creep frowned, eyes darting between the two of you but apparently believing your obviously forced cheer and taking a small step back into his darkened doorway with a stiff nod towards you.

“Now fuck off creep,” Katsuki muttered as he turned back to you, ready to carry on where you had left off before you had been interrupted. You were glaring at him, brows furrowed, and jaw clenched in a way that he knew meant he was in trouble. He wanted to lean forward and smooth the lines out with his fingers, trace them across your brow and down your cheeks until his thumb pressed against the corner of your mouth. He wanted to touch you, but he wasn’t sure that you wouldn’t punch him if he tried. Katsuki deserved it and he wouldn’t stop you if you tried, taking the hit like he had been paid to do it.

“Should I call the police?” The question hung in the air, your eyes widening and mouth falling open like you were going to say something, but words seemed to fail you as genuine panic filled your eyes. That was fine. Katsuki had more then enough for the two of you. Pushing away from the door Katsuki turned to fully face the other man, his hands curled into fists and glaring daggers. “The fuck did you just say?” Katsuki hissed as he took a step towards the other man. He knew what he looked like in his leather jacket and ripped jeans, his nail varnish chipped and his piercings glinting in the bright fluorescent lights in the hall. The stupid extra had the good sense to look scared, taking a step back and pulling his door partially closed like it could protect him from Katsuki beating the shit out of him. He supposed that made him just as bad as the nosey bastard thought he was and maybe he was but at least Katsuki hadn’t done anything yet, hadn’t actually laid a hand on the man. Five years ago and it would be a different story but Katsuki had at least managed to get a handle on his anger to the extent he didn’t lash out so much anymore. Though that didn’t mean Katsuki was above scaring the shit out of someone.

A hand curled tight around Katsuki’s arm, delicate fingers digging into his muscles and keeping him from taking another step towards the idiot who was clearly looking to get his ass handed to him. “No thank you Iida-sama. Everything’s fine, promise,” you rushed out, laughing nervously as you pulled Katsuki away from the other man. Quickly you spun on your heels and shoved Katsuki back, your hands pressing down on his chest and forcing him towards your apartment. Katsuki stumbled, tripping over his feet as you shoved him through the open door. He had barely made it through before you slammed the door closed, the loud bang echoing through the silence.

The two of you just stood there, neither one of you saying anything as you both tried to process what had just happened. Katsuki was lucky really, things could have gone so much worse and there was always the possibility that four eyed creep would still call the cops, wanting to press charges because Katsuki had threatened him. He would be screwed then, though he didn’t doubt that you would probably smooth things over, getting the weirdo to droop the charges as quickly as he had pressed them. Katsuki didn’t think he would ever be able to look at you again if that happened. Not that you could even look at him now anyway.

You had your back to him, head hanging forward and hands clenched at your sides. You were tense, the anger visible in every taunt line of muscle in your back and shoulders. Katsuki was angry to, his veins filled with it and making his body burn. He wanted an explanation as to why, out all the people you knew you had gone to that half and half bastard when you knew how Katsuki felt about him. He wanted to scream at you, to demand once again that you keep your distance from Todoroki bloody Shoto because you were his girl, Katsuki’s and he didn’t trust the stuck-up daddy’s boy as far as he could throw him. Katsuki wanted to rage about the whole fucked up situation you were in but most of all he wanted you to look at him, to see what this was doing to him, to your relationship, and understand what he struggled to say.

Gritting his jaw Katsuki reached out towards you planning on grabbing your shoulder and making you look at him. As if you could sense his intentions though you spun round before his fingers could even brush your shoulder, knock his hand away and glaring at Katsuki with a burning anger in your eyes that he had never seen before “What is wrong with you?” you hissed. Scowling Katsuki jerked back, waving his outstretched hand in the general direction of the door as he snapped back at you. “Me? What the fuck’s wrong with your shitty stalker?” He was being loud, the asshole probably still able to hear him but Katsuki couldn’t care less. Let him hear, let the whole sodding building hear then maybe he wouldn’t have everyone trying to set you up with that posh bastard because there wouldn’t be any doubt that you were already spoken for. Maybe then Katsuki could stop being so paranoid that someone better suited was going to come swooping in and steal you away from him. Maybe then he could start feeling like he was enough for you, that he was good enough for once.

“What did you expect was going to happen when you show up here screaming blue bloody murder and banging on my door like some kind of common street thug?” Your angry words felt like a slap to the face, the reality of what he had done sinking in as your sharp and unforgiving words echoed around the room. Fuck. That was exactly how he had been acting. Katsuki might be from the rough side of town, hell he even worked in a dive bar that had some questionable patrons, but he wasn’t like that. He was a stickler for rules, hadn’t been arrested since he was a kid and he never got involved with any of the dodgy shit that went on around his neighbourhood. For all intense and purposes, he was a good law-abiding citizen and yet hear he was, acting like one of those scummy street gang bangers, threatening some random extra because he got in Katsuki’s way and practically trying to force his way into your home when you clearly didn’t want him there.

What had he been thinking? He had come here to make things better not to make the whole situation ten times worse. He should be ashamed of himself. He was ashamed of himself. Just because he was worried and insecure didn’t give him the right to treat people like shit, especially someone he loves. He was supposed to be better than this, had gone to therapy for years to get a handle on his anger but at the first sign of something not going his way Katsuki had reverted back to the venomous punk he had been at 16, when his anger issues had gotten him kicked out of school and home. “Fuck!” Katsuki exclaimed, turning his back on you and running his hands through his hair. He needed to get a grip of himself before this situation came beyond fixable. Before he lost you for real. There would be nobody to blame but himself if that happened, his anger so toxic and self-destructive that it burned away everything good in his life. Fuck! He was messing this all up, the best thing that had happened to him in years and he was ruining it.

“I think you should leave”. Katsuki jerked back round at your quiet and defeated voice, his eyes wide with panic. “What?” he managed to croak out. You weren’t looking at him, head tilted down and to the side, your arms wrapped around you like it was the only thing keeping you together. “You’re angry,” you whispered, and Katsuki would have missed it if the apartment had been so quiet. “I’m not…” Katsuki started, his voice just as quiet but you held your hand up and Katsuki fell silent, swallowing back down whatever he had been about to say. Sighing you finally looked up at him. “I’m angry Katsuki and I, I don’t want either of us to say something we will regret in the morning”. You sounded tired, looked it to and Katsuki hated that he was the reason, that he had driven the two of you to this.

“No,” he said stubbornly, standing up straighter and crossing his arms over his chest. He couldn’t leave now, not with the way things were between the two of you. He didn’t need space or time to think. He already knew that he had fucked up. What Katsuki needed was for you to understand that he wasn’t angry with you, not really. He was just bad at dealing with emotions, both his own and others. Groaning you rolled your eyes at him. “Of course not, because why would you ever do anything you didn’t want to.” Katsuki narrowed his eyes and your exasperated remark, unable to bite back his own aggravated reply. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.” Sure, he could be a stubborn asshole sometimes, but he wasn’t the kind of guy who would stick around in a bad situation just because his stubbing pride refused to let him back down. Not any more at least and he had the bills from his therapist to prove it. “Do I?” you shouted, “because this sure as shit looks like you being a stubborn asshole who doesn’t know when to back the fuck off.” Katsuki just stared at you, shocked to hear you swear. You never did, not even when you were angry or in the throes of passion, your posh ass upbringing not allowing it. Maybe that half and half bastard was actually right, and Katsuki was a bad influence on you.

You groaned loudly, your shoulders slumping as you lifted a hand to rub at your eyes. “Look, I get it,” you sighed, letting your hand fall back to your side and looking at Katsuki with sad and tired eyes. “You don’t like Shoto and that’s fine, I’m not asking you to.” Katsuki scoffed at that. No, you hadn’t asked Katsuki to like the other man but you had asked him to get along with him to the point the two of them could be in the same room together without getting into an argument and that was almost as bad, especially when the frosty bastard had been acting like he was better than Katsuki. Like just because he had money and a fancy ass name, he had more of a right to you then Katsuki did. It was frustrating, humiliating and Katsuki hated how right the other man was. Katsuki really didn’t deserve your attention and most definitely not your love.

“But what I am asking you for is to not go around acting like my friends aren’t worth the air they breath.” You were yelling again, your voice getting louder with every word. He could see the anger in your eyes burning bright again and he hated that it was directed at him. That it was his fault it was even there in the first place. “That’s not it,” he yelled back at you, his own anger and fear bubbling up inside of him again. That wasn’t it, not even close. Sure, it was a fact that he didn’t like Shoto, and he was pretty sure that the other man only tolerated him for your sake and the majority of your other stuck-up friends were just about tolerable, but it went deeper than that for Katsuki. Deeper than he would ever like to admit because he had spent a lifetime hiding his feelings and he hated the fact that you made him feel so fucking weak and pathetic.

Katsuki flexed his fingers, willing himself to try and calm down. Getting into a full-blown argument was the last thing he needed right now. He needed to get himself back under control, had to do something to make this whole shitty situation at least salvageable but it was hard to get a handle on his emotions when your normally impeccable control was slipping, the hurt and anger you were feeling almost tangible. He had to though or other wise he was going to lose you because of his own inadequacies and control issues. “Then what is it Katsuki because I can’t keep doing this every god damn time, I want to spend time with my friend?” you shouted, hands curling into tight fists and tears starting to roll down your checks.

Something in Katsuki snapped then, the sight of you crying because of him enough to have everything he had been keeping locked away deep inside bursting out of him in the form of two simple words that showed more of himself than he was comfortable with. “I’m scared!” he yelled, his voice echoing off the walls and body shaking as he fell apart. You jerked back, eyes wide in shock and just staring at him like he was some sort of alien life form. Like you had never seen him before and he supposed that was true in a way because you had never seen him like this. Not raw and open and so fucking desperate that he had thrown away all his pride and bravado without a though.

Groaning Katsuki shoved a hand through his hair and slumped back against the door. Fuck. He hadn’t meant to say that. It had just come tumbling out and there was no way you would let him take it back now it was out there. Sucking in a deep breath he rubbed at his eyes, head tipped backwards to rest against the wood and willing his racing heart to stop. There was no point hiding any more, the damage was done so he might as well be fucking honest for once in his miserable life. “I’m scared that one day you will wake up and this won’t be enough anymore. That I won’t be enough.” Katsuki spoke to the ceiling, his voice nothing more than a whisper but in the sudden silence of the room he could almost believe he was still yelling. It was the truth, something he dreaded every day and shit like this just made it all seem all that much closer to becoming reality.

Now that he had started though Katsuki couldn’t stop, his fears tumbling out of him in a rush of broken words. “You wouldn’t have to hide with him. The two of you could go out together and no one would question it, wouldn’t even look twice because you’re from the same world and I…I don’t…” The words died on Katsuki’s tongue, the admission that he didn’t belong in your world making his throat closed up, like if he didn’t say it then it wouldn’t be real.

He screwed his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears before they fell, his hands curling painfully around the edge of the counter. He felt so stupid, pathetic, embarrassed by his emotions even though he knew that he should have said this all a long time ago. He was ashamed that you were seeing him like this. He was supposed to be an unmovable rock not a snivelling mess and yet here he was, fight back the tears and desperate to cling onto something he wasn’t sure he deserved. The old hag would be so fucking proud on him. “The worst thing is that I know you would be good together. I know he would treat you right, make you happy. Treat you like the fucking goddess you are and do everything a decent boyfriend should do.” And there it was, the root of all his problems.

Yours and Shoto’s relationship had been a problem since the beginning for Katsuki. When he had first met you he had tried to justify it as Shoto being another potential suitors, someone else vying for your attention but he had never had the same problem with any of your other male friends or any other stupid extra who had tried to flirt with you. Sure, he would get annoyed with them, a little angry and possessive but he never actively tried to keep you away from them like he had with the half and half bastard. When he had finally gotten together with you, things had just gotten worse, spiralling out of Katsuki’s control quicker than he had been aware of. One minute Todoroki had just been an annoyance and then the next he had become the biggest threat to the blonde’s life and happiness and the more your ‘relationship’ with the bastard was thrown around the worse it got, all Katsuki’s anger focusing on the man until the mere mention of his name was enough to have Katsuki snarling.

Despite what some people thought Katsuki wasn’t stupid, he knew why he was getting so angry, his own inadequacies like a glaring red light. It had been a mutual decision to keep things between the two of you a secret, neither of you wanted the press and public involved in your business or the backlash when Katsuki’s past inevitably came out. It had been nice, having something that was just his and as the two of you grew more comfortable in the others space Katsuki had become complacent. It hadn’t even occurred to him what things the two of you were missing out on until he had seen the evidence of it splashed across the front pages of gossip magazines and social media, Todoroki at your side instead of him.

Katsuki knew, logically, that you weren’t doing it on purpose, knew that you just saw it as spending time with one of your oldest and most trusted friends, but it didn’t stop it from driving Katsuki insane with jealousy and if he was being honest, fear. You and Todoroki went out together often, to dinners at restaurants that’s friends had no right going to, as well as movies and shopping trips. You had even gone to the beach together, your smile bright and infectious as you held onto your stupidly over sized hat and the half ‘n’ half bastard rubbing sunscreen on to your bare shoulders. Admittedly you had gone with the shitty nerd and cheeks but still, it was something a couple would do, and Katsuki hated it. Hated that fucking Todoroki could give you something that he so desperately wanted to but couldn’t. He wasn’t ready for that sort of scrutiny yet.

Katsuki wasn’t part of your high society life, and he would only drag you and your reputation down if two of you went public together now. It didn’t matter how many times you told him it didn’t matter because Katsuki knew that would change as soon as everyone else started judging him. You were sleek perfection, dressed in the latest fashion from the top designers and always well put together even when you were slumming it with him. You were smart and kind, well-liked by not only those in your social circle but also the general public. You had a reputation, a good one and Katsuki, well Katsuki was nothing in comparison.

He was a mess; a high school drop out with anger issues and a criminal record. He couldn’t get a decent job so he was stuck working at some shitty bar that attracted all the wrong kinds of people and only just paid enough that he could afford to live in his crappy rundown one room apartment. All his clothes came from secondhand shops or whatever customers left behind in their drunken stupor. Katsuki had tattoos and piercings, wore mostly back and often had a thick layer of eyeliner around his crimson eyes. He looked like a thug, a degenerate, someone’s who was more likely to start a fight then volunteer at some charity soup kitchen. It didn’t matter how confident he was, how he didn’t take anyones bullshit. Katsuki knew he wasn’t good enough for you, but it didn’t change the fact that he wanted you. In fact, he was pretty certain he was in love with you and all this bullshit with Todoroki was making it more and more obvious that he just didn’t belong in your world.

Katsuki let out a shaky sigh, tipping his head forward so he was looking at his scuffed and dirty boots instead of your stark white ceiling. “I can’t stand it, seeing him doing all this fucking shit with you that we should be doing.” He felt wrecked, all his nerves frayed but he couldn’t stop now, he needed you to know everything if he was ever going to fix this because he wanted to. Katsuki may know that he wasn’t good enough, but he was selfish, and he desperately wanted you all to himself for however long he could. “I have to listen to all these shitty extras telling me how good you two are together and every time it’s like getting stabbed. Fuck this is stupid. I’m so fucking stupid”. Katsuki shoved his hands into his hair, shoulders slouched forward and curling in on himself.

Gentle hands curled around his wrists, your thumbs rubbing at his pulse points as you slowly lowered his hands. Katsuki sucked in a shaky breath, his eyes stinging as he pointlessly tried to stop the tears from falling. He barely got a glimpse of your own red and watery eyes before you were wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him down into a tight hug. Katsuki froze, holding his breath as he waited for you to say something, to pull back from him and tell him he was right, and he should go because he really wasn’t good enough for you. None of that happened though and after a few long moments Katsuki finally slumped forward, resting his head on yours and wrapping his arms around your waist. Katsuki clung onto you like he was afraid if he let go you would vanish, whisked away in a swirl of red and white before he even had a chance to reach out for you again.

The two of you stayed like that for a while, stood in the hallway and holding one another but it was nice, the closeness soothing his frayed nerves and making him feel more grounded instead of like he was spiralling down into nothingness. “I’m sorry.” Katsuki frowned at the mumbled words, slowly pulling back to look down at you. Your head was pressed against his chest, hands curled into his jacket and your knuckled going white from how tight you were holding into him. He could feel your body shaking against his, your tears soaking through his t-shirt, her breath catching as sucked in one shaking breath after another. “I’m sorry,” you sobbed, “I’m so sorry.”

Confused Katsuki pulled you tighter against him, lifting a hand up to stroke at your hair. “You have nothing to be sorry for,” he whispered into your hair, his own tears starting to fall freely down his cheeks and dripping off his chin into your hair. How had he fucked up so much that you were blaming yourself for his shortcomings? “I’m the one who’s sorry. Fucking ruining everything I touch,” he choked out, voice cracking as he tried to force the lump down in his throat. “I’m pathetic.”

He was ruining this, ruining what you had just because he couldn’t get past his own insecurity’s. What if this was it for you? What if you walked away from him because you couldn’t handle his outbursts and unjustifiable anger? It would hurt, more than Katsuki would ever admit. If you left him, he would never find someone else like you again and he would only have himself to blame. Just like always.

He felt you take a shuddering breath, your sobbing finally calming down until it stoped all together. You lent away from him, not enough to pull free of his grasp but enough to put some distance between two of you. It was barely enough room to slip an arm between you, but it felt like a canyon to Katsuki. He wanted you back, pressed against him and secure in his hold. Fuck it was pathetic how much he needed you, how much he couldn’t function without you in his life.

A gentle hand slipped under his chin, lifting his head up until he was looking you in the eyes. There were tears still clinging to your lashes, eyes red rimmed and lips puffy from where you had been biting them in an attempt to stifle your cries. Katsuki cupped your cheek, his touch gentle as he brushed his thumb across your cheek to wide away the tears that hadn’t rolled down them. You were looking up at him with a mix of determination, sorrow and what he hoped was love and when you spoke your voice reflected that, ringing out loud and clear and cutting through all Katsuki’s fear and doubts. “You are many things Bakugou Katsuki, strong, loyal, caring of those closest to you but pathetic definitely isn’t one of them.”

Katsuki’s eyes widened slightly at the conviction in your voice, trapped in your gaze as you wiled him to believe you. With a huff Katsuki leant forward and rested his forehead against yours, let his eyes fall closed as he just breathed and let your words wash over him. Sighing softly, you stepped back in closer and wrapped your arms around his neck once more. The action caused Katsuki’s hand to slip backwards, his calloused fingers curling around the back of your skull and gently urging your head back down to rest against his chest. One of your own hands slid into the short spikes of his hair, delicate fingers petting gently at the blonde strands and causing all the tension to seep out of him, feeling safe and loved in your embrace.

“I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he apologised, both arms wrapping around you tighter and keeping you pressed close against him. He was sorry, hadn’t meant to get so worked up that it had all come rushing out of him in an angry and violent wave of hate and fear. “And that I threatened your creepy neighbour,” he mumbled, adding the apology as an afterthought. He wasn’t necessarily sorry about that though. The guy fucking deserved it, implying that Katsuki would ever hurt you, but he was sorry for causing problems that you would probably get in trouble with your landlord for.

“No you’re not,” you mumbled but Katsuki could hear the amusement in your voice as well as feel the way your lips curled up into a small smile against his chest. “I promise to cut back on the couple’s stuff with Shoto.” The sudden promise had Katsuki tensing, knowing you well enough to realise that wouldn’t be it and sure enough not a second latter you were talking again, head turned out so your words weren’t muffled against him. “But I’m not going to stop seeing him. He is my friend Katsuki, just that and sometimes we will spend time together, just the two of us.” Katsuki grunted his acknowledgment. He wasn’t a monster; he didn’t want to control you. He wasn’t your father. It was enough to know that you would be willing to meet him halfway considering the shit he had done.

With a sigh you pushed away from him, stepping back this time until his hand’s rested on your waist and you were looking at one another again. You placed your hand on his chest, right over his heart and Katsuki had to wonder if you could feel it hammering away like a frantic drum beat as you pressed your other hand against his cheek. “I can’t stop people from talking but what I can do is deny it till I’m red in the face and promise you that never, ever will I want anybody other than you.” You sounded so sincere, so sure of your declaration that all Katsuki could do was mumble a quiet “ok,” too caught up in you to offer anything else. “I love you, you idiot.” You said it as if it was fact, no room for Katsuki to try and deny it. He struggled sometimes, to understand why you cared so much, especially when he was so fucking difficult, but it always set his heart racing to hear you say it. To know that you wanted him despite all his many flaws.

Katsuki leaned down slowly, giving you time to turn away from him but all you did was smile softly, your eyelids fluttering closed as he bush his lips against yours. He sighed into the kiss, his own eyes closing as your lips brushing gently against each other’s. It was a gentle kiss, no heat, no hunger, just a soft brush of lips as they breathed into the other. There was no urgency, no demand for more or desire to stake a claim. It was just them, the world around them slipping away as Katsuki’s entire world narrowed down to the women in his arms and the realisation that somehow something had gone right in his life for once.

When the need to breath became to much Katsuki pulled away slightly, resting his forehead against yours so he could still be close. Your thumb was absentmindedly brushing against his cheek, a small and content smile of your lips that Katsuki couldn’t help but return. This felt right, like now he had finally said what had been holding him back they could now move forward. Not that his fears and insecurities were gone. No, they were still there, lurking under the surface and waiting for the next time when it all became to much for Katsuki and he snapped, unable to squash down the fear that Todoroki Shoto was going to sweep in and steal you away from him and take you back to the life you were used to. The one you deserved but Katsuki couldn’t give you. Not yet any way but he would, eventually. Katsuki wouldn’t stop at anything to give you the life you deserved and he sure as hell wouldn’t let that half and half bastard steal you away before he even got the chance to prove himself.

Sighing Katsuki leant back in, claiming your lips once more in a lazy kiss. You hummed contentedly into the kiss, Katsuki swallowing the sound as you wrapped your arms around Katsuki’s neck and pulled him closer. Katsuki went willingly, stepping away from the door and right into your welcoming arms but it wasn’t enough, he needed to be closer. Katsuki wanted you pressed against him, wanted to surround himself with you until there was nothing left between you. He wanted the physical reminder that you were his, that the two of you were together. That you had chosen him over all those other extras that were vying for your attention.

Without breaking the kiss Katsuki slid his hands down your back, lightly skimming his fingers across your ass before slipping further down to curl around your thighs and urge you up into his arms. You didn’t break the kiss as you pushed up onto your toes, letting Katsuki take all your weight as he lifted you off the ground. Your arms around his neck tightened, legs wrapping around Katsuki’s waist and crossing your ankles behind his back, so your heels were pressing against the top of his ass and urging him that much closer. The two of you were pressed as close together as you could get, Katsuki able to feel every inch of you against him and yet it still wasn’t enough. He wants more. More of your touch, your kisses. More of everything. He wanted to be as close as they could be, skin against skin but that wouldn’t be possible. Not like this anyway.

Katsuki didn’t break the kiss as he stepped forward, tightening his hold on your thighs to make sure you didn’t slip. It wasn’t the first time he had carried you like this, Katsuki holding you up but normally it was against a wall or a door, the two of you gong at it had and fast and always desperate for the other. You liked how strong he was, liked that he could effortlessly pick you up and carry you around like your weight meant nothing to him and Katsuki made sure to take advantage of the often. You didn’t flinch as he made his way across the apartment, didn’t tighten your hold on him like you were afraid he would drop you. You trusted him and that just made his pathetic heart swell in his chest.

The walk through your apartment was slow though but easy enough and when they finally made it to the bedroom Katsuki gently laid you out on the black sheets, stepping back slightly to take you in. You were beautiful, so soft and inviting as you smiled up at him from where you had snuggled down into the soft comforter. Katsuki could watch you for hours. Had in fact done that the first time they had slept together, and you had fallen asleep in his bed with its shitty second-hand sheets and thin duvet. That had been back before he had known who you were and how out of his league you were. Back then you had just been a pretty woman who had been willing to let Katsuki work his frustration out on, and leave come morning. Now though you were so much more, the most important thing in his life and looking back he can’t believe how stupid he had been to think he would ever have been able to walk away from you.

Still smiling softly, you held your hand out towards him, beckoning him closer. Katsuki wasn’t one to decline an invite like that, crawling onto the bed and between your spread legs. He never took his eyes off you, watching intently as you reached up and curled your fingers into his hair once more and gently urged him down, tilting your head back so your lips met his as he sunk into your welcoming embrace.

You stayed like that for a while, trading lazy kisses and hands gently exploring over clothes. Eventually though it became to much and not enough all at once, your gently exploring hands suddenly working with intent as you slid them up over his chest and shoulder. Your hands slipped under his jacket dragging it down his arms until Katsuki had no choice but to lean back, yanking the thing off and throwing it behind him. He dove back down to reclaim your lips as soon as it was gone, moaning into it as your hands tugged up the back of his shirt and slipped underneath. They didn’t stay there long though, slipping out to curl around his shoulders instead.

It happened quickly. One minute Katsuki was on top looking down at you and then the next he was on his back, looking up at your triumphant smile. Huffing in amusement Katsuki pushed himself up onto his elbows, using his legs to nudge you forward until you were straddling his waist, your ass pressing back against his groin. You were a vision above him, Katsuki unable to tare his eyes away as you gripped the bottom of your top and slowly pulled it up over your head before throwing it in the same general direct Katsuki had chucked his jacket.

You were beautiful and Katsuki told you as much as he pushed himself up, whispering it against your neck as he pressed small and sloppy kisses up to your jaw. “You’re not too bad yourself,” you answered teasingly, cutting off Katsuki’s growl as you turned your head and reclaimed his lips with another kiss. It was a little harder this time but still slow and sensual, your tongue swiping across his lips and asking for entrance. Katsuki granted it without hesitation, hungry for everything you would give him. The moment he parted his lips your tongue pushed in, swiping against his and sucking gently. He let out a low moan, gripping your waist tighter with both hands and pulling you tighter against him, your chest pressing against his. He was getting hard, could feel it pressing against the zip of his jeans but unlike normal there was no rush, no urgency for relief. He was content to just carry on like this, taking his time with you and enjoying the simple feeling of you against him.

You didn’t seem to be though, your hands curling around the hem of his top and slowly dragging it up, your fingers finding every dip and curve as they went. The two of you broke apart long enough for you to tug it over his head before you were kissing again, the top discarded over the edge of the bed like everything else. Katsuki’s hands were back on your hips as soon as his arms were free of his top, his blunt nails digging in as he urged you back in close. You staid like that for a while, Katsuki’s hands moving from your hips to splay across your back as yours slipped into his hair, scratching at his scalp and eliciting a deep satisfied groan from him.

It was slow, languid, more about the closeness then then what this was leading up to. Katsuki was savouring every second of it, every press of tongue and glide of lips, every hitch of breath and quiet moan but eventually it had to come to an end, the need to breath too much to ignore. Reluctantly he pulled away from you, Katsuki, both of you breathing a little harder as you watched one another. Slowly he slid his hands up your back, fingers brushing against the ridges of your spine until he came to the clasp of your bra. With deft fingers he popped it open, large hands brushing it aside as he made his way up to your shoulders to push the straps down your arms. Neither of you looked away from the other as you slowly shrugged it off, discarding it like all the other items of clothing.

“So fuckin’ beautiful,” he whispered, his hands completely bypassing your now exposed breasts to instead curl around your forearms and pull you closer. His moan was muffled by your lips as he finally got to feel your naked skin against his. There was a slight pressure against stomach, your hands having snuck between the two of you. He went easily, falling back against the bed and taking you with him. Katsuki would have been happy to stay like that, trading lazy kisses as you rocked gently against his neglected erection, those little sparks of arousal enough to keep him satisfied and on edge but almost as soon as he was lead against the bed you were climbing off him, instead moving to lie next him on your side with your head propped up on your hand.

Katsuki scowled at you, already starting to roll over so he could push you back down and start kissing you again but the gentle brush of fingers against his abs had him stopping, looking down instead to watch as your fingers gently brushed against his muscles only to move further down. Katsuki gasped at the first feather light touch of your fingers to his denim clad dick, his hips jerking up as you flattened your hand against him and ground it down, adding more pressure as you rubbed against his hardness. It was enough to have him groaning, slumping back against the bed with a groan as he chassed that feeling but just as quickly as you started your hand was gone, leaving Katsuki aching for more now that he had gotten a taste of it.

Your teasing little laugh was enough to have him groaning, fling an arm over his eyes as he tried to calm himself down. He didn’t want to rush this. The two of you were always chasing more and harder and a burning passion that consumed you like a raging fire. This slow and teasing approach was different, gently stocking the flames instead of dousing them in petrol. Katsuki had always scoffed at this sort of fucking, so sure that it would be boring and not enough to get him off, but this was more then he ever could have imagined, it left him feeling raw and exposed yet loved and wanted, two emotions he had always struggled with.

“Katsuki,” you mumbled against his parted lips, your lips brushing ever so slightly against his but before he could tilt his head and press them more firmly together you were gone, trailing gentle kisses down his jaw and neck. Groaning Katsuki tipped his head back, giving you more room as you slowly made your way down, teeth nipping collar bone and pecs as you went. It’s horribly frustrating, Katsuki’s muscles twitch and constricting with ever hot puff of breath against his him but he doesn’t try to speed things up. Doesn’t want to rush any part of this so he resigns himself to laying there, his stomach clenched as you run your tongue along the ridges of his abs, following them down to kiss along the skin just above his jeans. It’s a sweet kind of torture, one that he doesn’t mind enduring.

You don’t stop there though, using your knees to push Katsuki’s legs wide even as your mouth descends on his still covered erection. “Fuck,” Katsuki hissed, trying to roll his hips up against the slight friction your mouth provided. Katsuki gets about a second of relief before your pulling away from him, your teasing laugh enough to have him pushing up onto his elbows and scowling at you. That seemed to be what you were after though, smirking at Katsuki as you made eye contact only to press your mouth back to his denim glad prick, sealing your lips around the head and sucking gently.

Groaning he fell back onto the bed, a shaky hand coming up to run through his hair and tug at the strands and eyes squeeze shut. He stayed like that, even as your mouth disappeared once more, and you shifted between his legs. He didn’t even look as he felt your deft fingers popping open the button and tugging down the zipper, your fingers slipping into the waistband of his jeans and underwear so you could tug them down. Wordlessly Katsuki lifted his hips to help, his preoccupied mind only just remembering he still had his boots on just before there came a muttered curse from down by his feet.

“Stupid bloody things. Who even has this amount of laces. Just fucking come off already,” you muttered, your annoyance clear as you yanked and twisted until the things slipped free of Katsuki’s feet. He couldn’t help but let out a huff of amusement at the dull thumps that followed, Katsuki once more pushing up onto his elbows so he could look at the adorable scowl he knew you would be wearing. He wasn’t disappointed, your scowl closer to a pout as you glared up at him from between his legs. He stayed like that, watching as you finished getting his jeans and underwear off, shoving them behind you before pulling his socks off.

Katsuki had every intention of pulling you back onto the bed for another round of lazy kisses, eager to get your stupid leggings off so he could feel your naked body pressed against his, but you apparently already had plans for your mouth, and they didn’t involve Katsuki’s lips. Ducking forward you pressed your lips against his hips, sucking and nipping your way inwards. Your hands slid up the outside of his thighs, fingers pinching at the bottom of his ass and urging his hips up. It all happened in one go, Katsuki’s hips jerking forward at the sudden sting, your hand slipping underneath to cup his ass cheeks as your lips brushed against his sensitive head, your tongue quickly following behind. He couldn’t have stopped the surprised gasp if he had tried, the sudden shock of having something on his dick almost too much after being teased for so long.

Your hold on his ass relaxed, hands sliding round to splay over his hips and urge them back down onto the bed. Your mouth never left him, kissing up along his shaft and tongue swirling around the head before swallowing him down to the hilt in one solid movement. It was too much, Katsuki moaning loudly and trying to thrust forwards even though there was nowhere left for him to go.

Katsuki watched you with wide eyes, his breathing faster as he felt you swallow around him. You were a vision, lips stretched wide around his considerable girth and tears clinging to your lashes, watching him back and just waiting for him to do something. “Fuckin’ perfect.” Katsuki shifted all his weight on to one arm, bringing the other round so he could sink his fingers into your hair and curl his hand around the back of your skull. He kept it there, not to control your movements but just for something tangible to hold onto, something to keep him grounded as you finally began to move.

Slowly you began to move up and down his shaft, alternating between licking and sucking, your tongue flicking at his leaking slit every time you pulled back up to the tip. Katsuki was breathing heavily now, straining against the hold you still had on his hips and letting out soft moans and groans that he would probably be embarrassed about come morning. Just like with everything else you were taking your time with this, taking him apart slowly and you worked him up into a frustrated and babbling mess. He could feel it though, building and building but it wasn’t enough, Katsuki just on the edge but never falling over. It was fucking perfect.

He didn’t know how long you carried on but soon enough you were stopping, pulling off him with a loud slurp and pop. Katsuki watched as you licked at your lips, your dark eyes hooded as you moaned appreciatively. That was it for him, something snapping and before Katsuki really knew what he was doing he was scrambling to pull you back up onto the bed and onto his lap. He barely waited until you were on him before he was pulling you down into a sloppy and desperate kiss, his tongue chasing his own taste as he invaded your mouth.

The time for slow seemed to have passed and all it took was one well timed roll to get you on your back under him, Katsuki grinding down against your cotton covered groin. He wasn’t as slow as you had been as he kissed his way down your neck and chest, making sure to sucker a nipple into his mouth as he went and biting down gently just to hear you gasp before moving on to do the same with the other one. His hands gripped at the waist of your leggings before he had even made it to your stomach, getting ahead of himself as he began to tug them down. Above him you laughed gently, your own hands coming down to help tug them down enough for you to be able to kick them off the rest of the way. Katsuki was between your legs before they even hit the floor, his mouth going straight to your cunt as soon as you were free of your last bit of clothing.

“Kats,” you practically screamed his name as Katsuki licked a long strip across your wet folds, both your hands sinking into his hair and tugging at the messy spikes. Katsuki let out his own groan as he lapped at you, his tongue dipping into your folds but not pushing any further. He shoved one arm under your leg, hoisting it onto his shoulder and spreading you open for him. His lips sealed around your clit, Katsuki sucking and licking at it whilst two of his fingers rubbed against your slick opening. The sound you made as he pushed his fingers in would echo in his head for years, your walls clenching down tightly on the digits as he pushed them in as deeply as he could. You were so warm and tight around him, sucking his fingers back in as he pulled them back out, rubbing teasingly around the outside before thrusting them back inside of you.

“Kat...Katsuki” you gasped, rolling your hips down onto his fingers and desperately trying to get more and who was he to deny you anything. Slowly he dragged his fingers back, teasingly rubbing them against your entrance again before pushing back in, sucking hard on your clit this time as he did so. The needy little whine you let out was worth it, Katsuki’s own grunt barely audible from where his mouth was pressed so tightly against you but from the way you shuddered and moaned you had felt it.

He set a slowly pace, fingers gliding in and out of you as he licked, sucked and nipped at your swollen clit. The noises you were making were like music. He could listen to you all day, moaning and gasping, stuttering out his name as you ground against his face. He could stay like this for hours, worshipping your body and proving his devotion to you from between your spread legs. It wasn’t long before two fingers became three and then four, Katsuki’s pace slow and deliberate as he worked you towards your peak.

Before he could push you over the edge though you started tugging insistently at his hair, pulling his mouth away from you. He let out a disappointed groan but didn’t fight it when you tugged him up your body, his fingers slipping free of your warm cunt and leaving a wet trail up your side. You arched up to meet him, sealing your lips over his and licking your own juices off his lips. It was dirt, filthy even and Katsuki loved it, kissing back just as enthusiastically. Neither of you stop until the need to breath became a necessity, both of you breaking away with a gasp, both of you panting and lips kissed red.

Katsuki was the one who went for the bedside table, leaning across to yank open the top draw and grab one of the foil packets he knew would be there. He reared up onto his knees as the ripped the thing open with his teeth, quickly rolling the condom down his aching length as letting the empty packet flutter down onto the sheets to de found latter. He was back on you within seconds, sealing his lips over yours in yet another demanding kiss. Braced himself on one arm by your head, Katsuki gently slipped his other hand down your thigh to grip at your knee, tugging your leg up to curl around his side. Forcing himself away from your lips Katsuki rested his forehead against yours and gently shuffled forward, his hand guiding the head of his dick to your entrance so he could push into you. He watched as your mouth fell open of a breathy little gasp, your eyes flutter closed and nails digging into his biceps from where you had curled your hands around them

Once he was fully inside you, he stopped, breathing heavily and waiting for your signal to move. After a few torturously long seconds your eyes opened finding his red ones and shinning with a mix of emotions Katsuki was too scared to even try and name. Instead, he leant down, his lips finding yours in a gentle kiss. As soon as your grip on his arms loosened Katsuki began to thrust, his pace just as slow as your kisses. He stayed close to you, his chest pressed against yours and legs intertwined. There was nothing fast and hard about it, his hips rocking gently in and out of you. It was intimate, Katsuki would even go as far as to call it making love. Just the two of you, so close that all they could feel was the other, all they could see was each other, breathing in the others air and lips meeting in gentle and love filles kisses.

Reluctantly he pulled away from you, groaning at the feeling of you clenching around him. He dragged his nose along your cheek, his mouth following close behind as he pressed light kisses against your cheek until he reached your ear, sucking the lobe into his mouth and nipping gently at it. “I love you,” he whispered against your ear, “love you so fucking much it hurts.” You clenched around him at his declaration, so tightly that it was almost like you were trying to keep him inside of you. “Love you to Katsuki, more than anything.” Katsuki’s heart felt like it was going to explode, something inside his chest untangling and leaving him feeling a thousand times lighter than he had coming here.

Grunting, Katsuki started to move a little faster, a little harder, delighting in the little hitch of breath as your arms tightened around him. It didn’t take long before he could feel his orgasm getting closer, the coil in his stomach tightening again as your insides fluttered around him. Panting he let his head rest against your shoulder, his eyes squeezing shut as he gave himself over to his pleasure. This wasn’t the ideal position, being pressed so close to you but he didn’t want to move, didn’t want to stop touching your because if he did this might all disappear and he would find himself stood back in your hallway, the two of you screaming at each other more.

His fingers tightened on your leg, nails digging in enough that he would leave little half-moon indents. They wouldn’t be there long, but it would still be proof that this was real, that you had accepted him, faults and all and welcomed him into your arms. Not that he deserved, because he didn’t. How could he after everything he had done but he sure as hell wasn’t going to stay that way. Katsuki was going to work hard and prove himself, to you, to all those stupid extras. He was going to be worth something, was going to be able to stand next to you for the word to see without feeling like he didn’t belong.

Katsuki didn’t even realise he had been crying until gentle hands curled around his chin, lifting his head so you could see him. Your thumbs brushed away his tears that silently rolled down his cheeks, smiling softly up at him like he was your world. “I love you Katsuki,” you said again, holding his gaze and making sure he understood you, “just the way you are.” That was it for Katsuki, whatever little hold he had on his fraying emotions slipping through his fingers.

With a choaked off sob Katsuki pressed his lips against yours, trying to convey with that one kiss everything he couldn’t put into words. How grateful he was to have you in his life. How much he loved you and needed you. His hopes for the future and his hunger for this moment right now. He needed you to know that you were part of his everything and that without you it would all come crashing down around him because he hadn’t realised how much he had needed you until he thought he was going to lose you.

You moaned so sweetly into the kiss, one hand sliding into his hair again as the other splayed across his back between his shoulder blades. Katsuki’s pace sped up, thrusting into you as hard and fast as he could in the position you were in. The hand that had been holding your leg slipped between the two of you, deft fingers rubbing against your clit in an attempt to push you over the edge first. You broke of the kiss with a gasp, head tipping back and leaving you neck bare for him to feast on.

Growling he kissed along the exposed column, teeth nipping at you only to sooth over the red spots with his tongue. “Come on sweetheart,” he mumbled against your neck, “wonna feel you, hear you.” Katsuki sped his fingers up, pressing down harder in his need to feel you coming undone around him. It didn’t take long, your walls clenched around him tightly as your back bowed. He lifted his head just intime to see your mouth open on a silent scream, eyes screwed shut and your whole body tensing as you came. Your nails dug into his back, your hold on his hair tightening as you pulled him in closer. It only took a few more thrusts after that, Katsuki finding his own release as he stole yet another kiss to muffle his own cry of pleasure.

The come down is just as slow as their lovemaking, Katsuki resting his forehead against yours, his eyes closed and your hot breath mixing as your hearts raced. He could feel himself softening inside you, the sensation of the cum filled condom becoming uncomfortable and despite how much he wanted stay there he knew he had to move. With a groan he reluctantly rolled off you, collapsing back onto the bed. He quickly yanked the condom off, trying the end and dumbing it on the bedside table to get rid of it latter.

Normally, afterwards Katsuki would pull you into his side, curling his arm around your waist and burring his face in your hair as you used his pec as a pillow. Not tonight though, Katsuki the one to curl into your side, his head resting on your shoulder, one arm draped over your stomach and your legs entwined. You didn’t ask why the change, sighing softly as you turned into him slight, draping one arm over his stomach and curling the other behind him so you could gently strike your fingers through his hair. It was soothing, the rhythmic rise and fall of your chest and the gentle brush of your fingers through his hair. It didn’t take long for his eyes to start dropping, the whirlwind of emotions from the last couple of hours taking its toll on him. He felt exhausted both physically and emotionally and he was ready to just sleep for a day or two, maybe a week if he could stay in your arms. He was almost completely out when you spoke next, your voice nothing more than a whisper.

“I’m sorry about all this stuff with Shoto. I know it upsets you when they start saying stuff about us.” Katsuki grunted at your words; his eyes still firmly closed but letting you know he was listening. He felt on edge again, already stealing himself for another fight at the mention of the other man. “But you know its not true, right Kats?” He felt you move, most likely pulling your head back so you could look at him properly and expecting him to look back at you, but Katsuki didn’t move, didn’t do anything. The silence was probably more telling then he wanted it to be. Sighing you went back to stroking his hair, moving your head back so your lips were pressed against his forehead. “Shoto’s my best friend, more like a brother then anything else and that all he’s ever going to be. We’ve been through a lot together and maybe that’s made us a little overly familiar with one another but that’s not because we have any kind of romantic feelings for each other. He’s family, the only one I had for a while and I,” you paused audibly swallowing and Katsuki knew he wasn’t going to like what you said next. “I love him Kats.”

Katsuki took a deep shuddering breath at your whispered confession, his eyes screwed shut so tightly he was seeing spots in the darkness. “I know,” he said quietly, like he was admitting to some kind of crime. He did know that, knew that the both of you had gone through hell when you were kids and had found solace with the only person who had been able to understand. He knew you loved the other man, had seen it first hand when you had stood by his side when all that bullshit with his family had been made public. And yet that didn’t stop the sharp sting of jealousy that shot through him at your words or the feeling of doubt and paranoia that he was going to lose you to the other man in the end.

“I know that this was all an accident, that what we have wasn’t supposed to happen,” Katsuki wanted to run, wanted to jump out the fucking window and fly away because this was all sound like some sort of long explanation of why it wouldn’t work between the two of you. He had known he had gone to far this time, had known the moment you had started cry but he had been stupid enough to hope for some glimmer of hope in the bleak reality that was his life. If you were going to end it then he wanted you just to say it outright, none of this pussy footing around and throwing him a pity fuck like it would make this all easier somehow by getting his dick wet. He was just about to say that to you when you spoke next and Katsuki’s words got stuck in his throat, his eyes snapping open wide and full of surprise. “But I’m so glad it did Katsuki because for the first time in a long time I actually feel like I’m alive, that I’m my own person. I’m actually happy and that’s all because I have you in my life now.” He didn’t know what to say, just staring unseeingly down your still naked body as his heart raced and his mind tried to process what you had said.

He had never made anyone happy before in his life. Not his parents or his teachers and definitely not any of his so-called friends who had only flowed him around because he was the biggest meanest kind at school. He had terrified Deku, had been the reason the other man had needed therapy and maybe sure, once upon a time when they had been brats, he had been able to make the other smile but that was so far in the past that it could hardly count. No all Katsuki had ever done was hurt and disappoint people yet here you were, telling him that despite everything he had done and said, despite the tears he had made you cry and the heartache he had caused he had still made you happy. That couldn’t be possible. Surely, he had broken to much to still be considered a good thing in your life.

You gently took hold of his chin, tipping his head back so he was looking up at you. You were smiling softly down at him, your eyes practically sparkling, and Katsuki was trapped, unable to look away. “I love you Bakugou Katsuki and I plan on doing so for a very long time. That is, if you’ll have me?” You tried to keep your voice even, but Katsuki could pick out the uncertainty at the end as your smile fell slightly. He could see it in your eyes as well, like you thought he was going to up and leave you. As if he could ever do that. “For as long as you’ll let me.” You smile cam back full force at his gruff words, already swopping down for a kiss before he had even had a chance to breath. Katsuki grunted as you collided with him, saying how much you loved him again and again between kisses. At some point the two of you ended up on your sides, face to face and a mess of smiles and mumbled I love you’s as the frantic kisses dissolved into gently and languid brushes of your lips that seemed to go on forever.

It had been a long day, one filled with every spectrum of human emotion that Katsuki could think of, and it had left him feeling strung out and a little tender yet right now Katsuki felt more at piece than he had in months. He wasn’t an idiot; he knew that his issues weren’t fixed and that there would still be some hostility toward the man he perceived as a threat to his happiness. There would probably be more arguments in the future, your stubbornness and his short fuse almost guaranteeing it but after today he was confident that the two of you would be able to work through it. It wasn’t going to be easy but nothing in his life had been, the only difference was that he finally found something worth the work because you were worth it, and Katsuki didn’t plan on letting you go. Not now. Not ever. And definitely not to the half ‘n’ half bastard, Todoroki Shoto.

A/N: Sooooooo, I'm kind of starting in the middle of things here because honestly I'm so lazy and didn't want to write yet another big old world building piece that consumed my entire life for however long I was working on it. But if your interested here are some things you might want to know about the world this is set in.

First thing, no quirks. Katsuki was a smart kid with a hole host of expectations on his shoulders and treated like the genius he was whilst also being told he wasn't good enough and pushing him to do better. Long story short he gets kicked out of his amazing school for skipping classes and starting fights and after a rather explosive argument with his parents Katsuki goes and gets drunk and ends up getting in yet another fight but this time someone ends up in hospital. He goes to jail, loosing any prospects and when he gets out 4 years latter his parents wont take him back and no one will higher him because of his criminal history. He ends up getting a job at some shady bar and his probation officer (Kiri) finds him a cheap apartment in an equally shady part of the city. after a couple of months he manages to get a second job working as a personal trainer at a high end gym but that's only because Eijiro managers to convince a friend to give the blonde a chance.

Enter reader-chan.

Katsuki's been working at the bar for just over six months when late one night a women comes in who is clearly not from around these parts. your cars broken down and you ask to use the bars phone to call a ride not a tow, stating loudly that you had left the keys in the ignition of your expensive car and didn't care what happened to it. Katsuki keeps the lest savoury kind away from you whilst you wait for your ride and despite his best efforts he ends up chatting with you for a bit. When you're gone he thinks he will never see you again but a week latter your back, dressed more like the people in the bar but so very obvious worth more money then they are.

It becomes a thing and then one thing leads to another and the two of you have a one night stand, except it doesn't stay that way. It's when your already a thing that Katsuki finds out how rich you actually are and more importantly who you are. There's a lot of arguments, Katsuki accusing you of just looking for a bit of fun in the scum of the city because that's what rich bitches like you do whilst you try to make him understand that he actually meant something to you. Eventually you decide to give it a go, planning on keeping it a secret too avoid any unnecessary attention and things are actually going pretty well. There's just one problem and that Todoroki Shoto and the weird ass relationship the two of you have. A relationship so close that half the country already think your dating and the other half thinking that its going to happen eventually. All Katsuki knows is that he's going to kill that half 'n' half bastard if he see's one more thing about how good the two of you would be together.

#mha #my hero academia #bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha fanfiction #bakugou katsuki #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo #katsuki bakugou #soft bakugo katsuki #soft bakugou #angry bakugou #jealousy #bakugou #bakugo #bnha reader insert #reader insert #you #female reader #fem!reader #katsuki bakugo x reader #bakugou x you #katsuki bakugou x reader #bakugou x reader #bakugou katsuki x reader #bakugou x fem!reader #bakugou katsuki x fem!reader #bakugo x female reader #bakugo x f!reader #bnha bakugo katsuki

[alittlefrenchtree]

I obviously don't think he has to be online 24/7 so as not to be forgotten, it doesn't make sense and his job isn't even one that requires this of him. However, I think that his agent and his team are doing a poor job and should do much more. They didn't profit in the slightest by taking advantage of the hype that rwrb would bring.

I know the strike wasn't expected, but Nicholas for example was able to capitalize on the popularity due to the film with two projects he's promoting now that he's made post rwrb and his name is everywhere thanks to it. They should have done something similar too, he should be super busy by now thanks to the popularity of that movie and maybe for me it's more important what he does than how he uses social media (no hate, I just think his team should do more better)

To be honest, I wasn’t sure I was going to post and answer your ask. There is something quite bizarre about posting something I disagree with entirely on my blog. But I’m still going to try if I can manage to answer this clearly and quickly (spoiler: it’s not quick) and if I like my answer enough. If you’re reading this, I guess I’ve managed to do it somehow.

I don’t know if you know, but people have been coming to my inbox to talk about the bad job agent and PR team were doing since 2019 or 2020. Do you know who they were talking about back then? Timothée Chalamet. Since the guy is having a pretty decent career so far, I'm guessing wasn't so bad after all. So even if I’m not comparing Taylor to Timothée, because no one can be compared to Timothée right now, you’ll understand that I’ve already learned that they aren’t many experts around here. But the thing that came off all of the talks back then is: you might not like what you see (or don’t see) but it doesn’t mean they’re doing a bad job. 

Secondly, there is still no point of comparing one people to another or to ask of someone to be more like someone else or do the same kind of things as someone else. Nick and Taylor are different people, at different stages of their careers, with different careers and backgrounds, and certainly with different aspirations and needs so wishing the people around them would have done "something similar" is a bit of a non sense for me. They’re doing the same job and worked on the same movie but it doesn’t mean they should follow similar path. To carry on with the Chalamet example, I don’t see people going around blaming Calah Lane for not being Timothée Chalamet, Hugh Grant or Olivia Colman yet after the success of Wonka. It doesn't make sense.

Thirdly, you got some your dates wrong. Nick is actually capitalizing on projects he did before rwrb right now. To be fair, he’s probably more capitalizing on freaking Cinderella than anything else at the moment. He does that beautifully but it’s really something he’s been building up from way longer than the last 7 months or so. And yes, Starz was probably delighted to see his popularity explode during the summer with RWRB and Bottoms but it means they got a few more bucks for promotion and a few more interviews requests. It didn't give the actual job to Nick. And well, all respect to Nick but I’m pretty sure Anne Hathaway and Harry Styles would have make all the buzz around pre-premiere The Idea of You all by themselves. Nick did bring most of the enthusiastic cheerleaders to the premiere but his impact on the movie and how much he can capitalize will come after the release of the said thing. For now, the project and the lead are bigger than him.

I know some people will only read half of my words but I’m obviously not diminishing any of Nick’s work or talent. He’s very talented and is doing amazingly and I’m both very happy and proud to see him shine but some of the things I read about him are clearly lacking of perspective in the grand scheme of things.

So far, post-RWRB actually brought very similar things to Taylor and Nick actually: invitations to a shit loads of fancy parties and both apparently working on unknown projects we know nothing about. (And delicate talks about a potential sequel).

People also needs to understand that Taylor’s career in movies has started in 2020. He’s a freaking baby. And since covid killed most of the impact TBK could have had and the his sister died of cancer and then the strikes happened, half of the years since 2020 doesn't really count. Thinking where he is now isn’t already huge giving the circumstances (and everything else we’ve already talked about here) is madness. And we actually don't know what his team is doing right now. Might be a poor job. Might be ok. I have no clue.

God I hate what you made me do. I might regret answering it for all the people who will read this and find nothing better to write that something like "there is this Tumblr blog saying Nick owes all of his success to Camila Cabello and Harry Styles and that he did nothing compared to TZP, imagine the delulu 💀" but yeah.

TLDR; (not specifically for you, Nonny. Just some general thoughts with way less words)

Stop comparing artists. Stop comparing people all together.

Stop asking middle schooler to be high schooler.

Stop thinking high schooler is worth more than the middle schooler because they’re in high school. They’ve been doing that student thing for way longer, it’s normal.

Stop thinking you’re the only target audience of PR work. You’re already obsessed, they doesn’t need to get you on board.

Stop thinking movies are made from scratch to finish in 5 months. Scripts go around for years. People are casted, then leave projects because pre-production takes forever, because there isn’t enough money and then other people are casted and pre-production starts again, and things get delayed and everything takes a freaking long time (and even more luck) to actually happen.

Having too much expectations will kill the fun eventually. Wait for things to happen. Go play video games or something in the meantime. I don’t know.

(I’m not sure what I’ll do with the follow up of this conversation. I’ll read everything but I might not answer to most. I’m not sure).

And like previous ask, sorry if it came out harsher that it should have been. No harm intended 🙏

#alft asks

[takiki16]

Hey so I am starting to get into Jupiter Ascending fandom (a couple years late but what can I say). I was thinking of writing a fic. Do you have any resources for JA extra information?

Thanks in advance. Also I am loving your fic (it's how I started getting into the fandom lololol). can't wait to reread!!!

HOOOOOOO BOY!!!!

I'm paging @bemusedlybespectacled, @gallifreyburning, @vr-trakowski, @sorrelchestnut, @florentinequill, @fuckyeahjupiterascending, @vrabia, and honestly ANYONE ELSE who wants to chime in here, bc HOOOOOOO BOY!

(I made that sweet puppy in fucking 2015 on my dying laptop in the travel study dorm in DC, JUPITER ASCENDING HOW I LOVE THEE)

The eternal fucking tragedy of Jupiter Ascending is that the wider world doesn't love it like we do. Does it have every single thing that turns my crank, id-wise? Sure! Does it have gorgeous over-the-top sequined costumes and extravagant set pieces that remind you at every minute that this movie specially thanked Swarovski Crystal in the credits? Sure! Does it have theeeee single most pinpoint reading of MY PERSONAL FEMALE GAZE that Channing Tatum has ever done? (sorry mister Magic Mike, but you do not even come CLOSE to "may I kill him?" in terms of sexy) SURE! Was this movie a commercial or critical success? Absolutely not 😔

There isn't, as far as I'm aware, an art book. There isn't an official novelization. There isn't even an actual script posted to the usual internet databases that isn't just an automatic shitty talk-to-text rendition of the movie dialogue. There are concept art paintings and old cast interviews floating around, and this auction website where the Wachowskis auctioned off some of the props from the movie, but as far as canon resources and extra material beyond the movie itself there isn't much. A quick duckduckgo search would probably be more helpful to you than anything else, if any of the websites still have the articles up - it WAS eight years ago, and doesn't that just break my fucking heart.

My corner of tumblr LOVED this movie. In 2015, there were TONS of posts gathering interviews, posting concept art, making cosplays, all the signs of a small but healthy fandom ecosystem. However, we call this the blue hellsite for a reason - not all of those resources are still there, and the ones that survived time and incompetent archival site coding are probably difficult to find. I would definitely recommend trawling the JA tags of all the blogs I tagged at the start of this post, as JA introduced me to two of my longest and most beloved of all mutuals. ALL of their insights were key to A Fine Chain.

There is also my own jupiter ascending tag and my more specific jupiter ascending meta tag, although I don't know how bored you are lol. The general JA tag is 105 pages - I would almost recommend just starting at page 105 and working forward from there since it chronicles my descent into kinky space angel werewolf brain rot pretty nicely. There are also my ao3 bookmarks for JA.

I WILL SAY that it has been 8 years, and I have changed into a very different person than the one I was when I first saw this movie. I don't REGRET the first few chapters of A Fine Chain, or any of my breathless meta posts, but I do think that if I were to write any of them over again, I'd hope that my writing style has matured and I'd have lots more extra material to draw from. Actually graduating from law school, writing long fic in another fandom, and generally percolating more as a person has given me lots of new perspectives on JA that make it more interesting even as I still enjoy it (for example, HBO's Succession is ODDLY RELEVANT and I wish there were more JA fanwriters to take advantage of that fact).

...I hope that was helpful? I will ETERNALLY mourn the fact that this fandom wasn't isn't bigger - we haven't even broken 1k on ao3! But EYE MYSELF am here to discuss JA stuff as long as this weird spurt of creative energy sustains me, and my inbox is always open!

#jupiter ascending #fandom #my posts #jupiter ascending meta #if NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU MY GLITTERY SPACE EXTRAVAGANZA I WILL LOVE YOU #was it perfect? no. was it a bit of a hot mess at times? yes. BUT DO I LOVE IT? HELL YEAH #long post

[dreamingofmuses]

New Year's Resolutions: RP Edition

Howdy all, Ash here. I've been having a think while with family this week, and I've decided I'm going to implement some new 'resolutions' to try and help make writing in 2024 be way more successful than in 2023. This will include things from the running of blogs to jobs I really want to get finished. I'm putting them under a read-more to keep the dash nice and clean.

I will say, this has taken me an hour to write up, and I'd recommend you doing likewise if you think there's little ways you want to improve.

-

Overall Running of Blogs

I'm going to experiment a new approach to running the blogs. For this, I'm going to put all active blogs to low-medium activity. In other words, even if I am personally lurking on mobile, I won't be constantly writing things if I'm not able to. (Work is just about to get super busy and I'm anticipating chaos)

A queue/schedule function will be used for all blogs. I intend to dedicate one weekday evening to working without interruption on replies. Taking commutes to the city and family visits into account, this is looking to be a Thursday, which is the only day I am neither travelling to the city nor have a guaranteed family visit. Of course, this may fluctuate, but that's what I'm hoping to work with, assuming those things stay as they are.

However! What all this means is that I am going to tentatively take skullandbowties off hiatus. With that blog being quiet, it should be possible to juggle it better now. Plus, it's officially off-season so the demand for him from new blogs ought to be low. I'm very smart :D

I also plan to update all pinned posts. I am aware some of them are marking a vacation from months ago.

Individual Blog Maintenance

Create "New Here?" posts to add to the pinned posts/info tags. This is going to be a very quick crash course on what to expect from the blog, especially where some characters might diverge from fanon expectations.

FINISH. WILF'S. BIO. It's not actually relevant to anything being written on the blog itself at present, but I really want to flesh out his character and show that he was stuck in stories for years, decades even! The doc has the word count to 4,888 at this precise moment. This is a mix of summary and brainstorm. Since it's getting a 'little' out of hand, I intend to have a 'tldr' at the start that people can read, and then longer versions if they're curious to get the full story. Maybe even have it that they can jump to particular parts but... I'll cross that bridge when I get to it.

Likewise, Noah's version of Space needs to be finished. This one is going to be a summary, but it's a case of making sure the pieces are in place sufficiently to have parts match canon Space, but also make it clear that there is a lot of differences between canon and what he went through, with his plot entirely spiralling away for 'Part 2'. This is at 5,794 words, and the ending has yet to be ironed out...

(I am going to stop creating needlessly long-winded projects for myself that realistically add nothing of value to my blogs. These two projects are exhausting...)

Theauthorlives is returning to a very small multimuse. Any muses that aren't ones I genuinely enjoy writing are being fully archived, unless they are muses that get no traction but I want to keep the possibility open. Details of that will be shared when I do this.

Redo some muse icons (not all of them!). Though the selection I have for particular sets is a lot, I still feel like I'm missing some expressions or poses. I would like to remake one batch of icons for three characters, and finish iconning a third. Replies seem to be shifting toward iconless, but I like them for asks or IC commentaries.

OOC/Mun Related stuff

Following matters that have happened both online and IRL, I've decided to take a step back from actively engaging with people. My focus will be people that I have been in good communication with for the last twelve months (as well as people I don't talk to frequently but am on friendly terms with) rather than people I feel I have to 'chase' after. Saying that, I'm going to try and not let past experiences meddle with anything in with new writing partners - whether these are brand new to the community or people I've not had the chance to properly interact with prior to this. Just be aware that I might not be super outgoing at first. (This is where setting limits and boundaries is good practice, everyone! Don't sell yourself short, and don't spread yourself out too thinly!)

Which is where I now say I want to send even more asks! Not just memes or sentence starters, but general questions about headcanons or muse opinions. I want to get people thinking more.

My stance on Discord still stands, in that it's solely for OOC stuff, but I'm not giving it out to everyone. However, I have been in two group servers that have little-to-no connection with writing rp threads in them. I would hope that I can fully regain my sense of comfort using Discord as a whole.

Art related

Despite socially stepping back, I still want to keep some semblance of 'community' where my blogs are active so people don't feel isolated. For instance, I want to do something that encourages invasions of ask boxes. That was good fun to watch as the chaos began to spread, and when people are good-humoured to go along with my silly ideas.

I want to have one huge art-related event at some point this year. I'm not entirely what or how to do it, but I think it would be a great excuse to practice something. Portraits, comics, something like that. I'll have a think. (For those who remember, the water gun event was supposed to have an art conclusion but plans for that fell through.)

I want to try and upload drawn responses to heythereneighbor once a week if I can. Obviously, this is depending on how busy it is.

I'd also like to try doodling more on other blogs? But I'm not sure if this is even something people want to see anymore. People might prefer I focus on writing if I have free time instead of doodles or little comics.

... the writing blog. I need to do stuff with that in general. Whoops.

Finally, I want to do what I can to the best of my abilities on a particular day. I've always told people over the years that real life comes before rp, and I still stand by that. Whether I'm around or not every day isn't the end of the world. The communities I write in are a lot slower paced than they were when I started, which is great! I need to remind myself that I don't need to be writing just because I have a bit of free time.

#(but some of these won't be starting this week because my work week is a little jumbled up) #(one tldr is that I intend to have one day a week for writing that should hopefully be a Thursday #but not Thursday of this week because I'm commuting to work and have personal stuff on as well) #(aaaand now I sleep. Have to catch a bus in the morning.)

[isalisewrites]

Hey, I'm really, really sorry about what happened to you. It's not fair that your choice to disclose your beliefs and identity was taken from you, behind your back even. I'm sorry for the hurt and betrayal and rejection you feel. I really hope that you'll manage to make the best of the cards you've been dealt now. I never felt freer than when I left Mormonism and discovered the joy of being openly authentic. My mother felt scared and betrayed when I left, but she's since grown herself, and we have a better relationship than before. I truly wish that for you. If you ever need to talk to somebody, feel free to reach out (and no need to reply or publish this at all, I just wanted to reach out.)

Thank you for reaching out! It's so nice to make a connection through these experiences. This is exactly why I'm open about this because I know there are others like me who are remaining hidden to preserve the peace and to protect themselves.

Yeah, being outed really sucks for sure, especially when you're the type who needs time to really process through your emotions. I didn't even bring up a topic to my therapist until an entire year afterwards because I needed that time to process and to distance myself. I have to formulate my words in my mind to make sure I'm not misunderstood. I've mentally gone over potential scenarios on how to come out hundreds of times, first coming out as gay, but also as a nonbeliever in Mormonism. Definitely the autism showing up there, haha.

However, I am not unprepared to face this. If this happened last year, I don't think I would've been able to communicate everything so effectively. I was also not in a strong mental state last year. This year? I got a uterus who wants to kill me. Sorry, darling, nothing compares to that; no one is a threat. I have dealt with a LOT in quick succession in the past month and I joke with my friends: "All my fucks to give are decorative."

This was a betrayal, a breach of trust, and then rejection. When I confronted this family member about it, I got more vitriol. At this point, it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall. I know they're hurting from thinking I was sneaking behind their back and keeping secrets, but when a religion like Mormonism positions itself as the ONLY one and true church, it is the ultimate devastation on believing members.

I'm a Hufflepuff with the heart of a Gryffindor whose Slytherin traits have grown due to this experience. I, first and foremost, wanted to protect the tender hearts of my family members and protect the peace. But I also wanted to protect my image because I was one of the 'Perfect' ones who never rebelled or did a single thing wrong. There's a lot of pressure to maintain that image.

And the ironic thing of all? I suspect this family member is STILL researching me behind the scenes even now, to the point they know I made a post on Sunday during General Conference weekend. I pulled my blog and all my AO3 fics from overall public access (though, they think I blocked them directly) when I knew that my online identity had been found, but they still found things because they went digging with intent and purpose. At this point, I'll be returning everything back onto public access soon.

I will not hide anymore.

You want to see me? Come and see. Who I am here is truly no different than who I've been with you. The TRUE reality is you just don't like who I am and you haven't liked me for over two years now. My evolving self was always a problem for you, so the more you criticized my evolution, the more I went silent. "No one wants to force you on anything." Liar.

I'm so happy that you've been able to remain close to your mother. It's always encouraging to see someone else's positive experience after these kinds of traumatic events. I'm so glad you're able to live authentically, too. Life is short. I have been able to maintain my sanity during these years because I've had this space to do so. I've had my fanfiction and the community it drew to ground me during the difficult times.

Wherever the chips may fall, I will continue to remain calm, collect, and kind in the face of accusations, vitriol, and distrust. I do hope we'll be able to come to an understanding, but... It's difficult when the other party seems so unwilling to listen to your heart. It's hard when their perception of you is warped and has been warped for far longer than you even realized. It's been an eyeopening experience.

At any rate, I am at peace. Thank you again for your kind words. May you have hope, joy, peace, and contentment in your life.

#exmo #ex mormon #pimo #god bless anons #anon asks #ex religious #excult #anti mormonism #ex christian #ex jw #mormonism #anti religion

[frecklystars]

I just got back from the emergency room.

At 6am, an irl friend (doesn’t have a tumblr) with good intentions thought I needed to see a NSFT commission my abuser purchased of her with STSC, I’m too tired to explain why, they thought they were bringing something to my attention about her lying to me about the STSC commissions from January, but like I literally already knew bc I was there 5 months ago when the lies happened? Which is what made STSC a trigger in the first place???

Anyway of course seeing my abuser is a major trigger, I can never handle it, it’s not something I can work on reclaiming. and it’s even worse seeing my main comfort character she ruined as the main commission piece… with her. like that

So. This commission was a NSFT commission of her and STSC together. Just, showing up on my phone after my friend sends me the image with a “thought you should know” caption. Felt sick immediately looking at it. Dropped my phone without even closing it out. Immediately threw up, been throwing up all night so it’s just water now

I told my friend I couldn’t look at things like that, I told them I don’t want them digging up stuff on her blogs and I definitely don’t want them showing me anything holy fucking christ I just want to forget she exists. I said this nicely of course. They apologized. I said it was fine. I’m crying my eyes out bc I’m trying to get the image out of my head. I hang up the phone. I tell myself it’s ok I have therapy in a few hours. Spoiler alert I don’t make it to therapy

Ten minutes later I get that feeling in my chest like it’s being crushed, went thru this twice before in the last few months when I saw other commissions of her posted on artists kofi pages. I try to remember it’s like the other two times I had crushing panic attacks, it will pass in a few hours, but my vision was getting black spots every so often, I’m sweating and shaking more than I usually do when this happens, I felt my left arm starting to go numb. I thought “uh oh that’s new”. Nobody else is home so I sat there wondering if I can afford to call for an ambulance. I call my dad he doesn’t pick up. I call again. He says “I don’t have time for you I have customers” and hangs up. Father of the year. I call my friends they’re all at work so they’re unable to answer. I sit there and wonder if I can afford another fucking hospital visit. My left arm is still numb. I feel my toes start to go numb. I sit there another good ten minutes telling myself to just deal with it because this is so fucking stupid. I feel my right arm starting to lose feeling. My dog is whining at me. I call 911

So another ten minutes later I’m in an ambulance, they immediately tell me I’m having a heart attack. I am torn between “fuck what the fuck? no fucking way what the fuck I’m in my early 20s what do you mean I’m having a goddamn heart attack? Over a trigger? Can a trigger give you a heart attack?? ” and also thinking “oh my god I hope this kills me please fuckjng kill me I can’t take this shit anymore god if you’re real you need to take me right now I am so sick of feeling this bad I can’t do this anymore if you’re gonna take me out then just make the heart attack quick”

I pass out

I wake up in a room and the doctors do a different type of heart test. One hour later they tell me I’m not having a heart attack and they actually misread the machine’s readings or something (which is common apparently, and the same thing happened to my dad back in August, he got false heart attack readings as well). I’m barely hearing what they’re saying bc I can’t read their lips and they’re talking too fast and not facing me directly. They keep me for 5 hours and run another test to confirm I’m not having a heart attack., or rather by that point, that I have no trace of any heart attacks. Just the worst fucking panic attacks that kept happening in succession

they say I’m having so much anxiety that it’s “worrying” and they shouldn’t be seeing levels of anxiety in someone my age. they asked if I’ve been anxious about anything particular lately I start crying I say YES I just had a major c-ptsd trigger, I’ve been stress-vomiting on and off for several hours before I even saw the trigger, and I’ve been very high alert/on edge very jittery for two days before THAT. so it’s like my brain had been building this up to happen for two days

they ask for how long I’ve had anxiety on a consistent basis like this and when the stress started and I answer it’s been like this for almost 10 months straight and then they said Oh Miss Keri you’re going to definitely have heart attacks if you don’t try to address this soon you can’t keep continuing like this and I say Oh Doctor I’m going to therapy and doing breathing exercises and meditating and before one week ago I hadn’t accessed ANY of my social media in 8 fucking months. What else can I possibly do. Genuinely. Please. Help me. And they said I basically just need to keep doing breathing exercises and therapy and drink more water and I was like. Fuck. Okay. What else. They said there is nothing else I just need to “take it easy” and I was like. Fuck! Okay!

They asked me if any of my other ptsd triggers gave me this reaction, I said no it’s literally just this one particular trigger (seeing my abuser) that sends me into a panic attack that makes me feel like my chest is getting crushed. They said to try to avoid that and I was like “okay yes” like hoo I am trying my fuckjng best here but it’s hard when! ppl keep showing me my abuser! saying oh Keri she’s talking about you and oh look keri she’s doing this and this and this oh keri see who’s talking about you in her blog see who’s saying your ptsd is fake because you drew yourself in a pink shirt 8 months ago. before the ptsd even started. bc the reading comprehension is piss poor here. ooh keri how can you have ptsd if you own a pink shirt!!!!

ppl Keep talking about her and sometimes I see her by accident when I want to check an artist’s blog and she’s right there. Obviously it’s within her rights to buy commissions, and this time I didn’t even see the comm directly sourced from her or an artist, it was my irl friend who sent it. It’s so fucking hard for me to relax when people keep talking to me about her and trying to tell me that she’s “spreading rumors about me” or “tagging me in posts” like. I don’t want to know!!! I don’t want to see her I hate her so much I will probably never forgive her for ruining me. I wish ppl wouldn’t bring her up with me !!! and it rly sucks that I have to risk seeing her Literally Everywhere bc, yes it’s within her rights to get comms from whomever she wants whenever she wants, but oh my fucking god. it’s like she is omnipresent in the tf self shipping community i have to jump thru hoops to avoid her and I can never manage one single week without seeing something and it is frustrating. I hate that I had to have such a bad falling out with a person who is nearly impossible to avoid seeing despite me blocking and blacklisting and filtering. It’s the goddamn worst. I wish we never met.

I’m sick of seeing the inside of hospitals. Sick of the smell and the beeping sounds. I want to die so bad rn I’m so sick of this happening

HATE HATE HATE that my stupid fucking traumatized brain cannot stand the image of my abuser. Hate even more that my brain associates seeing characters being affectionate with her, with the very feeling that the image provokes, and uses it as “proof” that my f/os want to hurt me, want me to feel this bad and would do it all for her. Seeing STSC be tender with the person triggering me, it does something to my brain to make me believe he doesn’t love me, I don’t know how to word it properly I’m not a fuckinf therapist and I haven’t slept properly in over 24 hours.

I Cannot see myself healing I am doing so fucking bad. Like how do I possibly recover from ptsd when it grips me by the throat and strangles me. How am I going to heal fro this if I can’t avoid her. I’ can’t just drop tf I can’t just stop self shipping I can’t just leave for another 8 months, nothing is working. I am trying everything. I tried dying multiple times when I was offline for those 8 months and hahah that didn’t fucking work either!! I am in hell!!! I just want my f/os back I want to stop being scared of them I want to believe STSC would never want me to shake like this and cry like tiis but there’s a voice in my head saying that he’ wants to hurt me, that he feels good whe I’m broken up like this. that image of him with her, seeing that while having the attack, it’s like my brain is saying “see! Look! I was right! He hates you and loves it when she hurts you! See!! See how much he loves her when she’s hurting you”

I just want to go back to normal. I hate that I can’t function. I miss myself so much I have no idea how to function like a whole entire person. I’m sorry to my friends who have to see me like this. I’m sorry to my followers who keep saying I’m their inspiration, I don’t know what you could possibly see in me when I’m like this

I’ll delete this later I am going to sleep bc I missed my therapy appointment and I am fuckjng exhausted

#vomit mention and suicide mention #delete later #vent

[elekinetic]

Quick! Tag your top favorite byler blogs (as many as you want) and tell my why you love them in one line to spread positivity on the dashboard and make someone's day!

FINALLY! THE TIME HAS COME!

this is in no particular order

first up. my wheelies. my ride or dies. call it traumabonding or whatever u want but these mfs know secrets of mine they better take to the grave

@hawkinsp0st, my first real friend on here. currently on hiatus but truly a kindred spirit. single-handedly changed the way i looked at the show with their hellfire color post. u simply get me and i miss ur brain!!

@ratt-duffer deserves so much more credit than you all give them. he just gets this show so well and has such well written analyses, but more than that, is just a fun fuckin person to exist around.

@willsglock my sister in glock. what can i say. she has permanently altered the way i think about brba and bcs. refreshingly honest in a way i wish more people were. occasionally breaks hearts w her writing.

@crazycoven no. 1 weezer stan in my heart ❤️ jk but fr hayden is such a cool person with some of the best themes and best takes on this site. very glad to know him

@tntozier deserves financial compensation for what theyve given to this tag. one of the brightest souls on here. everything he posts is a gift and u all should be so lucky 🤨 thank u for screaming abt st puzzle games and convincing me to download. i blame you for my crippling addiction.

ok onto some of my other favorite geniuses on here <3

@quinnick his energy??? immaculate. thank u for putting reddie content on my dash. u are so sweet and are the only valid ask hoarder. yes ofc i will send you more asks!! you deserve it!! even if you won’t stop making ur mom jokes.

@madcleradin just fucking gets it. she has never made a single post i did not wholeheartedly agree with. her understanding of the characters and the dynamics….phenomenal. also genuinely hilarious. very grateful to be mutuals w one sierra loveqbrl madcleradin

@mlchaelwheeler is a certified genius and is single-handedly responsible for getting me to restart succession. we don’t chat very often but when we do it is so much fun. she always puts such good posts i’ve never seen before on my dash and her analyses are genius. sarah’s blog is a gift to this site!!!

@chiquitablanquita changed my life with her poetry fic. i just. wow. wow. oh my god. yeah basically yeah. oh my god. i am in awe of you for the work u do outside of fandom and for the absolute insane talent u so gracefully share with us.

@eightieslesbian is The Gif Maker on here. her visions…holy shit. yes her gifs of my demos and the bitch meredith brooks gifset haunt my dreams bc she is the sweetest person on here and the fact that she DOWNLOADED MY MUSIC?? hello my heart is broken in two. but can we talk about HER original stuff?? HELLO?? she is so insanely talented and her vision is just….omg. OMG.

@elmaxed lumi and i don’t chat all that much but her brain is just so correct always and forever. her writing is wonderful and her energy is stellar. always happy to see her on my dash.

@wibble-wobbegong is such a fun blog to follow. he’s just such a cool dude and has such a nuanced understanding of mike. plus a great signature blog theme. dude has a BRAND, mad respect

@astrobei i cannot believe we are mutuals. i CANNOT BELIEVE we are mutuals. genuinely one of my favorite writers on ao3 and i still fangirl a little everytime we interact. like. the fics….holy shit. HOLY shit. she has such a firm understanding of the characters and has never written anything that doesn’t feel true to the show, regardless of AU or canon compliance. hanleia costume fic my beloved. good god they are such a talented writer.

@smoosnoom the scream i scrumpt when i got the follow notification. first fic writer i actually learned how to use the “subscribe” function on ao3 for. there are no words for the absolute batshit amount talent stored in this tumblr blog. ik y’all have read i’m tearing you asunder (cue “uh yeah, i’ve read the classics” tiktok audio) but every fic in their fix it series….jesus christ. run up that hill to go read rn.

@strangeswift is in a category of her own. abby u are a twin flame and i am so glad to know u. u simply understand me!! y’all she is such a fuckin phenomenal writer and is SO CEREBRAL in the way she approaches the show. her mike s4 pov snippets live rent free in my head. truly the only person who could get me to voluntarily read angst. NEVER misses with her takes and is just. so smart. SO SMART. the most supportive mfer on here fr. you guys aren’t ready for milevenvision or any of the other stuff you should be so lucky for abby to put out.

ok i could talk about my friends and moots for hours and i definitely DEFINITELY missed ppl but pls just know i follow blogs i love love love the content of and if we are mutuals i value u to the moon and back <333

#friendship is magic fr #also shoutout to georgia dungeons-are-too-cold who is NOT a byler blog but is one of my best friends #thank you for listening to me infodump about byler. i will do it more when i am home >:) #byler

[infiniteorangethethird]

for the aro ask game 1, 14 and 16 (also hi)

hi hiiii bestie how's it goinnn

When did you realize you were arospec?

Honestly, I... have no idea. It definitely was a long process. I think the thought first started rotating in my head about two years ago when one of my friends told me they had a crush on me. It was definitely flattering and I tried so hard to feel the same towards them, with (obviously) little success. But it got me wondering whether any of my previous crushes were genuine or if they were all just a product of me trying to fit in with my peers who were developing crushes left and right.

Then the JaidenAnimations aroace video came out (we all know which one) and another few months later I read Alice Oseman's Loveless, and it was at that point that I realized "feeling the same amount of attraction to everyone" doesn't necessarily mean panromantic if that same amount is precisely zero. 😂 In a way, that book was the final nail in the coffin, and I "came out to myself" as aro a few weeks later, I think.

So the short answer is "a bit more than a year ago, probably?" 😂

14. What are some stereotypes about arospec individuals that annoy you the most?

Probably the "cold, heartless aro". Society has associated lovelessness with evilness for so long that part of the aro community began pushing back with "actually being aro doesn't make you loveless!! we can still love platonically!!!", and now if you're like me and you are loveless who doesn't love their friends/family/others, you're cast out by society AND by your fellow aromantics alike, AND it makes you hate yourself for not being able to feel an emotion ppl arbitrarily decided is necessary for being a good person.

(I realize the irony in me telling I don't love my friends in response to an ask from a friend but uh. shhh)

16. Do you have any arospec OCs, if so tell us about them?

all my OCs are aroace until specified otherwise, duh

anyway as a (partially) MaDD-focused blog I like to talk abt my OCs/paras in their own posts so here's a quick rundown & I can make a separate post abt them if anyone's curious:

Amy - she's loveless aroace & autistic who makes it a point to go against as many of society's expectations towards social interactions and relationships as possible. She revels in being the "loner heartless machine" stereotype bc if people are going to call her weird either way, why force herself to be something she isn't?

Thalia - their arospec-ness is pretty recent so I'm still figuring things out. They're your most stereotypical people-pleaser soft uwu smol bean good boi aka the one most likely to be assumed "too pure for sexual thoughts". So obviously I had to make them aroallo, after all if romance is the purest form of human existence but sex is evil then what does that make someone who's interested in physical intimacy but not love? Luckily they're close friends with Amy so they have someone to share these worries with who understands and helps dismantle these baseless ideas.

Plus I have two non-human characters who don't feel attraction as a species basis so I'm not sure if they can be considered arospec in the traditional sense

#not me rewriting this like four times so that it's not a 10 page essay #that's how I have fun on weekdays #asks #queer stuff #the orange dimension #<- tagging bc I do talk about my paras here

[cwarscars]

𝐆𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐎 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐑.

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞.  han or sexy bitch w/e u prefer honestly

𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬.   she/her

𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧. discord ( ims are ok but staring at the lil box makes me wanna die & i ALWAYS lose track of my ims, especially longer messages ). my discord is always available on request !

𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). heid has been active for a long while now, kaz is VERY active right now & krauser/volgin are nudging me for attention ( they can be found here ! )

𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞/𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 (𝐦𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐡𝐬/𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬?). i’ve been writing fanfics since i was a whippersnapper ( around fifteen odd years ) but i’ve been roleplaying for around twelve on tumblr. 

𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐲𝐨𝐮’𝐯𝐞 𝐮𝐬𝐞𝐝. mainly just tumblr for longer roleplays. i use discord sometimes ( but find it hard to keep track of ) and wire in the past. i like tumblr though for roleplaying, it’s easy and the layout is nice. especially for longer stuff. less pressure than discord, too, i find. 

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞.   the friends we made along the way owo. no, really. i’ve had a lot of nice experiences with making friends online while roleplaying. that’s been really fun. in general, there’s been moments in fandoms and stuff that have just been hilarious. i love the sense of community in some fandoms & the connections you form with people over something as silly as a dumb au or character opinion. those sides of tumblr rp are the best sides. 

𝐫𝐩 𝐩𝐞𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 / 𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐫𝐬.  there are a few things that immediately turn me off in fandom / rpc. i cannot stand elitism, especially when it comes to canon characters. i have seen people be put down /so many times/ by people who claim to ‘know the characters’ and have put themselves atop a pedestal of ‘best fan ever’ - it’s fucking lame. you’re a full grown adult and you’re shitting on people for not writing a fictional character the way you’d write them. everyone’s allowed opinions and you’re allowed not to like other people’s portrayals, but the elitism by some people just makes me cringe. it’s never needed. 

another thing is the people obviously in fandom for likes / attention. they strive for no real connection with peeps and just want the dopamine of getting a bunch of likes on a post. they never post ic shit and just constantly make posts like starter calls / attention calls. it’s become really popular in the last couple years and i’m not a fan of it. 

finally, graphics / aesthetics. i say this as someone who makes this shit; it is not the be all and end all of rping. you don’t have to look super fancy to be good. a lot of my favourite writers on tumblr have simple aesthetic / graphics. ultimately, people can style their blogs however they want but when people turn their noses up at others cause you don’t have the latest in deep fried psds with super hard to find links and a theme that makes your eyes scream, that’s sad.

𝐟𝐥𝐮𝐟𝐟, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭. i don’t mind ! i like them all but certainly lean toward angst. i find fluff is fun to do with characters who are more lighthearted / cutesie and smut is very one-note for me. i can write a couple smut scenes in quick succession and then i’m burnt out ( two pump chump LOL ). i find smut can outstay it’s welcome very fast so that’s why it’s so hit & miss for me. angst, i find fun but it depends on the muse & setting. 

𝐩𝐥𝐨𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐬. both. i like answering memes because anything can come from a meme. a whole au or storyline can be spawned from a silly meme or a line of dialogue from music / a film. it’s why i try to write longer replies to memes, it’s because i try to think of a setting / why they’re in a certain situation. in terms of plots, i only like plots that have an actual plot. i don’t mean setting. i mean plot. saying our character’s are astronauts for this thread is good and all but - where are they going? what happens in the end? how did they get there? i like plots that are FULLY fleshed out and don’t like ‘winging’ plots. i find it way easier to write and enjoy a thread if i know the trajectory it’s on rather than just saying fuck it and writing whatever springs to mind. i should have mentioned above but one of my biggest bugbears while plotting is how everyone seems so reluctant to plot a beginning / middle / end to threads.

𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐬. either. i don’t know how people write so much all of the time and find myself honestly intimidated by super long threads. i try to write as much will come to mind. i don’t like one liners much because i hate making icons ( lol rip ) - so, like 2-4 paras is usually pretty comfy for me. 

𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞.  it’s 6am right now & i’ve written like 6 ask response and this lol. i write at weird times cause it’s when my house is quiet & i pretty much need silence to write. >.<

𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐬𝐞(𝐬). LOL. umm, i’ve said before that i think i’m as stubborn and blunt as heid but i try not to be rude / nasty like he is. in terms of my other lads, i’m similar to gladio in that i can be a little self-righteous and i guess i’m like kaz in a lot of my morals / beliefs. but otherwise, i’m not a sadist and i try not to be a villain so hopefully i’m not too much like them lol 

tagged by: nobody, i YANKED it

tagging: @alphateamsfinest @poeticphoenix @ubcs @infernocharged @witchcraftandburialdirt @pitgritted​ 

#(ooc) #i tagged u guis cause i wanna all ur deets :eyes: #SERIOUSLY tho everytime i tag peeps for these i wanna tag everyone but then if i did that you would ALL hate me cause #like 90000000000000000000000000000000 peeps would be tagged c.c #iluyall helnlo- #(queue; open the door get on the floor everybody walk the dinosaur)

[whentherewerebicycles]

i am still not sure if i am going to go through with the interview this afternoon but i am having a good time preparing for it so that seems like maybe a yes. anyway because this is a teaching-related interview (and this is a teaching-focused blog at least some of the time), i thought it might be fun to break down my preparation process on tumblr in case anyone is curious about what that looks like. note that i would definitely prep more thoroughly & more than eight hours in advance if i didn’t already have that offer in hand!! but this will give you an idea of how i might approach it. i use a very similar system to help my students prepare for interviews.

so behold... my eight-step process for effective interview prep.

step 1: identify key responsibilities of the job (and skills required to fulfill each core responsibility).

i started by reading through the job posting again and distilling the longer descriptions into short, to-the-point bullet points. here are the core responsibilities of the job (followed by bolded keywords to help me identify what kind of skill each one requires).

design and deliver a yearlong institute from scratch to support incoming new faculty cohorts, with emphasis on training faculty in learning communities (program design, curriculum development, large group teaching, small group facilitation, fostering community) 

assist faculty in designing and successfully implementing equitable, multimodal courses (curriculum development, coaching, DEI work, assessment)

assess effectiveness of new faculty teaching (assessment, coaching)

collaborate with campus partners to develop and coordinate ongoing professional development opportunities for all faculty (researching or assessing staff development needs, workshop design, collaborating with subject matter experts, event planning)

step 2: identify key areas of knowledge or experience needed to do the job effectively.

then i revisited the required + preferred qualifications to create a list of content knowledge, skills, and experiences they seem to be looking for. since it’s a community college that includes a large population of adult learners, first-generation and first-gen low-income students, English Language Learners, and vocational students, i also added a few areas of knowledge that weren’t explicitly mentioned but will probably be relevant. i then sorted the list by what i think is most directly relevant for this position and ended up breaking it into two categories -- primary or crucial skills/areas of knowledge i should be prepared to discuss at length vs. secondary skills/areas of knowledge i should at least do a quick refresher on in case they come up in conversation.

primary areas of knowledge or experience

I should demonstrate deep knowledge of...

research on effective college-level teaching

best practices in teaching and coaching new faculty (ie how you develop the skills of adult professionals) 

culturally responsive, equity-focused teaching and curriculum design

program design, facilitation, and assessment

project management

secondary areas of knowledge or experience:

I should demonstrate familiarity with...

equitable assessment practices

learning community models & facilitation

factors influencing first-gen & FGLI persistence and success

factors influencing ELL student persistence and success

adult learning theory & strategies for working with adult learners 

effective design and teaching in online environments

step 3: review notes and distill into compact list.

I read through the above notes again & created a complete final list of what i need to show i can do.

program design

articulate program outcomes

assess faculty development needs

adopt equity-focused, evidence-based approach to developing training curriculum for adult professionals

design and implement faculty peer mentoring system

collaborate with SMEs to develop workshops

author internal protocols and procedures

assess program outcomes (and adjust if needed)

program facilitation & implementation

teach large groups

facilitate small groups

build community within cohorts & learning communities

coordinate logistics (event details, scheduling, etc.)

utilize general project management skills (scoping, planning, setting & meeting benchmarks, communicating with stakeholders, etc.)

coaching and training new faculty

build relationships of trust with professionals of diverse backgrounds, fields, and ages

assess effectiveness of faculty teaching with a specific focus on equity, accessibility, and cultural responsiveness

assess effectiveness of course design with a specific focus on equity, accessibility, and cultural responsiveness

collaborate with adult professionals to design or workshop syllabi, course materials, course policies, activities, assignments, exams, and systems of evaluation & assessment

general professional & interpersonal skills 

manage complex projects

communicate clearly with supervisors and stakeholders

impart enthusiasm to new faculty i’m training

pursue ongoing professional development (especially staying abreast of latest teaching & learning research)

step 4: step back & think about the values and mindsets I bring.

at this stage, i’m going to set aside the job description & the list above. i want to keep that context in the back of my mind, but i also want to spend some time thinking about what, generally, I am bringing to the table as a professional and a human being. stepping away from the bullet point list gives me some space to think more holistically about who i am and what i have to offer. when i’m working with students to prep for interviews, i encourage them to brainstorm a list of the core traits or values they’d want people who work with them to remark on or to use to describe them. whatever those things are, those are the core things i will want to convey to the committee.

so who am I? what do I bring? this is just a messy brainstorming list, so it’s okay to write down anything, and i don’t need to sort or prioritize it yet.

I’m a joyful professional. I get really excited about my work and I really, genuinely love doing good work that I care about.

I’m good at communicating that enthusiasm and excitement to others. to borrow things that my students have shared with me, i think i’m good at making other people feel smarter, more hopeful, better about themselves and their ideas, and more energized in their own work. i find it incredibly rewarding to figure out what people need from me & to design strategies for helping them grow and improve in their roles.

i’m a good listener, and i use those listening skills as a relationship-building tool. in coaching/mentoring relationships, i work hard to suspend a rapid leap to judgment or "how can we fix this” mode. i try to ask thoughtful, open-ended, empathetically curious questions and then really listen to the answers people give, so i can be sure i’m really understanding where people are coming from, where they want to be, and how they’re making sense of the problems they’re grappling with. i’ve done a lot of reading & research on the subjects of fostering self-sufficiency, confident agency, and a belief in one’s own ability to tackle hard problems, and i concretely apply what i’ve learned in almost every single mentoring session. i listen deeply, i work closely with the person to make sure that we both understand their priorities/goals, and i always treat coaching as a collaborative problem-solving relationship, not a situation where i (the “expert”) am dictating to people what to do. my goal is to work with people to provide the structure, guidance, and feedback they need to develop their own solutions (and then successfully implement those solutions).

I’m a joyfully & relentlessly growth-oriented person. I’m fascinated by the research on neuroplasticity & the way the human mind adapts, changes, and grows throughout our lifecycles. i love studying how people develop expertise in a complex subject or skill. i believe that with thoughtfully designed structure, consistent feedback, and deliberate, scaffolded practice, people can make dramatic improvements in almost any skill, far beyond what they might’ve thought was possible for them. i also really like sharing what i know about growth-oriented mindsets with other people. i like thinking about how to use that research to help people do hard things that they might otherwise find intimidating. i also try to work hard every day to get better at what i care about & love to do.

I’m passionate about research, but I love purpose-driven research that is driven by a desire to develop concrete solutions to the real-world challenges that arise in my teaching or in other people’s teaching. i like discovering or learning new things through research and then immediately asking, ‘how can i put this to work in my own life? in my own classrooms or teaching design? how can this new knowledge serve my needs or my students’ needs?’

i love design work. i’ve always loved thinking about the (often invisible or partially visible) systems, structures, and norms that shape our experience of institutional spaces and work environments, and i also really like thinking about how those structures/norms/whatever can facilitate or impede our ability to learn or do our work effectively. i really like thinking about how to create equitable, easy-to-navigate structures and processes that make it easier for people to focus on the parts of their jobs that are really important (and, ideally, make it easier for them to do those aspects of their jobs well).

okay. i’ll pause here to look over what i’ve written. i notice that i really focused on values here rather than on concrete experiences, which is okay! let’s do a quick distillation:

I am a joyful professional with a warmly affirming presence and a growth-oriented mindset. In working with others, I listen deeply, respect others’ ways of seeing the world, and strive to build collaborative relationships so we can solve complex problems together. In designing programs and learning experiences, I prioritize creating equitable systems that are easy to navigate, responsive to people’s actual needs, and make it possible for people to do their jobs well. 

step 5: now think about the concrete experiences & skills I bring to the table.

since I really focused on values in that first initial brainstorming session, I want to now focus in on some of the concrete skills I bring to the table. I already talked a little about my research background and my interest in design work, but let’s see if there’s anything else i can add.

I’m a trained researcher who has read deeply in the fields of collaborative learning, the neuroscience of learning, fostering intrinsic motivation & learner autonomy, equitable design, first-gen student success, social-emotional learning strategies, culturally responsive teaching, cultivating students’ skills in meta-reflection, and playful pedagogy.

I have ten years of experience in designing curricula for freshmen through seniors. i’m good at designing evidence-based curricula that hones students’ content knowledge & skills, but i also put a special emphasis on developing students’ interpersonal skills and the skills i think are required to really thrive well in college (emotional self-awareness and self-regulation strategies, communicating effectively with faculty, building relationships with & seeking support from faculty, building peer bonds, understanding and navigating unspoken institutional expectations or norms, project management skills, effective time management, etc etc).

i am an experienced teacher! i’m very comfortable teaching classes, facilitating small groups, leading workshops, and co-teaching with other professionals. i am completely comfortable in front of large or small groups, but i am also a “coach on the side” type of teacher rather than a “sage on the stage” type of teacher. my job is to design and facilitate active learning experiences where people are working together to grapple with complex new material or new skills. my job is not to stand at a podium and pontificate at length to a passive audience.

i also have three additional years of experience in building a research training & professional development program from scratch, which involved all the skills this job is looking for (assessing people’s needs, researching best practices in community-engaged teaching, designing a training curriculum, conducting ongoing multi-modal assessment of the curriculum’s effectiveness and then adjusting as necessary, developing  mentoring structures + protocols, etc etc).

i have four years of experience in advising/mentoring, with extensive experience in mentoring students from historically underserved groups (first-gen students, low-income students, BIPOC students, women, LGBTQ+ students, English Language Learners). to do my job well, i’ve extensively researched best practices in cross-cultural and cross-racial mentoring and have implemented those strategies in my work.

so okay -- let’s add that to the values brainstorming.

I am a joyful professional with a warmly affirming presence and a growth-oriented mindset. I have extensive experience in teaching, coaching, and mentoring, and am comfortable using culturally responsive methods to build relationships of trust with people from a wide range of cultural, linguistic, socioeconomic, and educational backgrounds. In working with other people, i listen deeply, respect others’ ways of seeing the world, and strive to build collaborative relationships so we can solve complex problems together. I’m also an instructional designer with ten years of experience in developing educational programming for diverse audiences, in formats ranging from workshops to semester-long courses to multi-year research training programs. Whether I’m designing programs or smaller-scale learning experiences, I prioritize creating equitable systems that are easy to navigate, responsive to people’s actual needs, and make it possible for people to learn effectively and/or do their jobs well. I’m also a trained researcher who loves approaching complex teaching or instructional design challenges as research projects. I’m passionate about understanding the science behind how people learn, and I love implementing research-based strategies that make learning more effective, engaging, and rewarding for all parties involved.

step 6: what kinds of questions do I think they might ask? what topics do I want to be prepared to discuss?

now that I have a clear sense of what I want to convey to the hiring committee, I want to spend some time thinking about the kinds of questions I think they might ask. this is based on past interview experience, conversations with friends who have interviewed for similar positions, and my reading of the job posting. instead of writing these as questions, though, i want to write them as topics I should be prepared to discuss. formulating them as topics means that when they ask the question, i can listen for the underlying topic they’re asking me to talk about, without getting through off by the specific wording of the question.

i made a big list first without organizing it at all (just getting as much stuff down as possible). since it got pretty long, i won’t include it here - i’ll just show you how i then organized the list by general thematic category (with a big controlling category and then smaller subcategories or subtopics underneath). 

topics:

what makes me want this job (or what appeals to me about this job)

what i understand the responsibilities of this job to be

what aspects of my background are most relevant to this job

my teaching & facilitation experience

my experience working with adult professionals

my coaching experience

my program design & program management experience

my experience with DEI work

my teaching & facilitation experience

how i teach

what i’ve taught

what kinds of student demographics i teach

specific examples of how i adapt my instructional approach or delivery to meet the needs of different demographics

schools of pedagogical thought or research that have been most influential on my teaching

specific authors or texts that have shaped my approach to teaching

a challenging experience with a student

a challenging experience with a co-teacher or another faculty member

my experience co-teaching or co-designing with SMEs

specific examples of positive teaching feedback i’ve received and how it influenced my work

specific examples of critical feedback i’ve received and how i adapted my teaching accordingly

my curriculum design experience

what i’ve designed

my general approach to developing a course

examples of assignments

examples of activities or learning exercises

specific methods i use to assess student learning/progress

my assessment and evaluation systems

specific examples of when an assignment or learning exercise didn’t work and i made changes to fix it

my coaching experience & working with adult professionals

my approach to coaching

my research on coaching best practices

how i build relationships with people who have different backgrounds than i do

my specific experiences working with/training adult professionals

common challenges that arise in working with adults or peers (as opposed to students)

specific challenges i’ve encountered in working with adults

how i’d coach a faculty peer who was struggling with a specific aspect of their teaching

how i’d coach a faculty peer who was resistant to feedback or otherwise difficult to work with/coach 

specific experiences helping a faculty peer improve

specific experiences with a difficult faculty member

maybe also be prepared to think on my feet about specific hypothetical situations (ie how would i help someone who was struggling to manage workload, or how would i address unclear grading criteria, or how would i address a faculty member having interpersonal conflicts or tension with students)

my program design & management experience

idk I just talked a ton about this in the other interview so I will not brainstorm more questions here!! i think i am ready to go on that front at least. but maybe like..

examples of how i manage conflicting priorities

examples of how i manage multiple simultaneous projects

examples of how i delegate work 

my approach to supervising/managing people

how i address performance concerns with direct reports  

my approach to giving feedback

my DEI work

how i define or understand DEI work

how i define or understand culturally responsive teaching

general explanation of what equitable design looks like in my teaching work and in my design work

specific examples of how i’ve used design to address an inequity

specific examples from cross-cultural and cross-racial mentoring or coaching experiences (challenges, successes)

if i felt a colleague’s course materials were creating equity issues or were not inclusive, how would i address that with them

what does DEI work look like in virtual learning environments

why a DEI focus is important to good/effective teaching

general questions

what professional accomplishment am I most proud of

what are my strengths or best qualities

what are my weaknesses or areas for growth

how my colleagues would describe me

how my students would describe me

how my supervisors would describe me

where i see myself in 3, 5, or 10 years

what’s something that my resume doesn’t convey but that would be important to this job or important for the committee to know

what questions do i have for the committee

step 7: brainstorm anecdotes and examples... then practice them multiple times until you can tell them quickly and concisely!

I’m not going to do this step now because the other interviews are still fresh in my mind and i have lots of examples to pull from! but here i would try to first generate a giant list of possible examples or ideas related to the topics above, and then i would distill that into 3-5 good, concrete stories.

the key to selecting your anecdotes is to choose examples that could be quickly adapted on the fly for multiple questions/topics. for instance, let’s say i think of a great story about a time when i had to work with a difficult colleague to finish a project. i could make small tweaks to that story to answer any number of questions! i could use it to answer questions like: how do you navigate conflict in the workplace? what’s a time when you had to work with someone to get something done? how do you handle stressful situations? how do you build relationships with other people who have different values or perspectives or work styles than you do? how would you coach a difficult or resistant faculty member? what’s a professional experience you are proud of? etc etc etc.

so, to recap: i want to pick 3-5 core stories that touch on multiple subjects and (ideally) convey some of the big-picture values i want to communicate. to use the ‘difficult colleague’ example, that story might convey my core commitment to listening deeply & finding ways to enlist others in developing collaborative solutions, or my commitment to growth-oriented thinking, or something like that. i try to use the STAR method of interview response to give clear structure my response & to ensure i don’t ramble on and on or give too much context.

step 8: distill aaaallll of this prep work into a mindmap.

when i finish drafting and practicing my anecdotes, i might go through the list of topics again and make a quick list of thoughts or ideas that don’t need full-fledged stories, but that i might want to have at the top of my mind (such as key authors or texts in pedagogical research that i want to reference). for virtual interviews, i usually have a piece of paper in front of me where i’ve made a mindmap that has my core values & skills keywords clustered near the center of the paper, then my specific anecdotes radiating off of those core values & skills. and then on the very outer ring i’ll jot down keywords or notes for those smaller questions that i think are likely to come up but don’t have a full story attached.

i usually don’t have to glance down at the notes at all while i’m talking, but creating it has three benefits... first, writing down the notes by hand helps me internalize & remember them better; second, creating the mindmap helps me visually see how all these values, skills, experiences, and stories are interconnected & form my identity as a candidate and a professional; and third, it’s just nice to have the map there as a confidence boost just in case!!

anyway!!! that’s how i am prepping for this interview. not sure if anyone will read this far but if you did i hope it is helpful :)

#how to: prep for an interview #meta #teaching #mentoring #i guess?

[diadxrling]

I posted 2,863 times in 2022

That's 2,863 more posts than 2021!

1,351 posts created (47%)

1,512 posts reblogged (53%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@clownstolemyjokes

@gotthcit-a

@gehcnna

@diadxrling

@infernal-feminae

I tagged 2,855 of my posts in 2022

#horned temptress...[dia] - 1,686 posts

#pleasure is my work...[thread] - 854 posts

#you better pay my fees...[ask] - 704 posts

#time for a drink...[ooc] - 482 posts

#'games' cost extra...[ask meme] - 381 posts

#cameras are always watching...[dash commentary] - 178 posts

#make it quick time is money...[mun talk] - 162 posts

#chains and whips excite me...[aesthetic] - 115 posts

#open - 89 posts

#not just glitz and glam...[musing] - 71 posts

Longest Tag: 130 characters

#also don't be shy with these if we don't have an established ship i would just fill it out with how dia think about the other muse

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

@multicoloredspider-andfriends​ liked for a starter. 

“What are you thinking about?” she asks raising a brow at the taller demon. She wasn’t sure if Angel was just thinking about something or if he was spacing out for some other reason. “Or is that wall just that interesting?” chuckling Dia could understand why the other would space out there wasn’t really anything happening to focus eon anyway. 

20 notes - Posted September 24, 2022

#4

Okay so somebody else pointed this out, but I forgot who and I can’t find the post again, but let’s have a look at this: 

For anyone who doesn’t want to enlarge the image and read, it says: 

Asmodeus Crystals: Allows legal and safe travel to the human world. Given out to succubi by Asmodeus. King of Lust.  Crystals can be shaped into discrete jewelry. Some believe leaving the crystal in a raw state strengthens its magic. 

So this means that traveling to the human world is not something that succubi just can do in general, but instead they need a crystal to do this. Now this opens up two options.

1. Only specific succubi are granted such crystals, probably having to pass specific tests or just meet some criteria. 

2. Every succubus is given one, I would think once they reach maturity, but it maybe be taken away if they break the rules. 

I personally think that the former option is more likely, especially since the book says they are given out by Ozzie himself. I wouldn’t be surprised if only pure succubi (meaning no Imp mixes) were given one and that being successful, like Vero for example, helps you get one. 

I also wouldn’t doubt that even under hellborns there are people lower and higher class so to say. Once again Verosika would be a good example but Fizz works too who are probably both held in way higher regard than a random succubus or Imp. So I don’t think it would be too far fetched to say that those crystals are way easy to obtain when you come from a more successful family. 

This also kinda works if you go with every succubus getting one, since I also wouldn’t put it past hell to just find any reasons to keep those crystals away from people they consider not worthy of them. Maybe even other succubi would take them to have less competition maybe that’s even wanted in a way. Other’s taking out the weak ones only leaving the strong and making sure there is no overpopulation at the same time. 

22 notes - Posted July 31, 2022

#3

[ Art commissioned by the amazing @abracafockyou​ ]

Look at them <3 

22 notes - Posted May 18, 2022

#2

I miss getting anons that ask about my ongoing rps and plot lines, or that just come around to ask my muse something. Fuck I also miss seeing dash commentaries about something stupid my muse is doing, but I get why people don’t do that as often anymore I have held myself back to not intrude on anything as well. 

But I can’t lie, when @lust-sinner and I first started writing and we both got anons asking about it. That was so motivating to me, like yeah of course I loved the threads already but that just made them so much more enjoyable. Seeing an Anon that asked about something my muse was doing at the moment is also so nice, it’s why I have anon on in the first place so people can comment on the shit my muses do without it being IC. 

You know what fuck it.

Like this to give me permission to be that anon for you, I will make a list and then at times come into your inbox and ask a character about something going on with them right now. 

32 notes - Posted April 24, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

@baphomct​ from -> xxx

“Well I don’t know her enough to be sure but there were two people her energy changed around which is normally an indicator for it. But it’s in bad taste to tell a possibly involved third party, so you will have to find out yourself. “

It was seen in bad taste to tell another mortal off somebody desires, some succubi even thinking it could curse said love to be doomed to fail if it ever came to be. Though with how Dia had worked things she practically had given away at least one person she suspected without telling directly of course. 

“It’s always the cute and quite ones that have something to hide” she joked not knowing enough about what was going on here to make a serious comment on it. 

“I do not mind at all” of course getting intrigued there was so much a proposition could be so many fun possibilities. 

50 notes - Posted November 27, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #time for a drink...[ooc]

[skiitter]

I posted 14,344 times in 2022

That's 3,659 more posts than 2021!

389 posts created (3%)

13,955 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@captainthief

@cuteasamuntin

@heelgripper

@sandraugiga

@ohshitthewizardcops

I tagged 3,474 of my posts in 2022

#art - 240 posts

#dramione - 55 posts

#a darker blue - 52 posts

#dhr - 51 posts

#skitterfics - 42 posts

#bcs spoilers - 33 posts

#the void giveth - 31 posts

#draco malfoy - 30 posts

#hermione granger - 29 posts

#hfw spoilers - 26 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#the fact that i'm married and have been having sex with the same person for over 11 years and yet i still have to use condoms is disgusting

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Kotallo is so salty when you first head to the Bulwark with him, I love it. He's like a cat, all misanthropic tendencies and a propensity for violence. It's so fantastic watching him thaw and transform into the person he is at the end of the game. God I love him.

107 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

#4

Watching 'The Boys' is a constant struggle of "the actor playing Homelander is unbelievably hot" vs. "Homelander is objectively the fucking worst".

139 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

#3

"I love you, Garrus Vakarian."

It echoed like a gunshot in her head. The words were honeyed oil, viscous, insistent, easy. She'd said it because, high above the Presidium with the galaxy burning and the scent of ozone in the air, it was the only thing left to say. She loved him. It was a fact, a veritable force of nature; relentless and seemingly without end. The soft, vulnerable, beating center of her was wholly removed from the cavity of her chest and placed with ironclad trust into the palm of his three-fingered hand.

And Garrus Vakarian, sole anchor of her heart and absolute arbiter of her desires, did not say it back.

At first, she assumed it was a cultural miscommunication. Lord knows they'd had their fair share of those in the time they had spent together. Shepard didn't even think to question it, attributing his lack of reciprocation to the failures of their translators.

And then he said he loved Tali's omni-tool mod, and Liara's quick thinking, and Joker's sharp tongue, and the forceful way Javik demanded success. Without provocation, without restraint, the declaration so banal it was unnoticeable to anyone else. Suddenly, Shepard realized that Garrus knew exactly what it meant to love something. He understood with blatant clarity the human definition of the act and had chosen not to say it back.

Immediately, she wanted to ask him, to find out the objective truth of the matter. Only, between the war and the reapers and the waves of violent destruction, Shepard lacked the energy and conviction to do it. So instead, every bit the mechanical soldier she'd trained to be, Jane Shepard ate her feelings whole and let them fester with rot in total silence.

It worked surprisingly well, at least for a time. Despite the way it poisoned the well of her thoughts, it was still easy to speak to him. Garrus was her best friend, the person she relied upon most. He had her six, her back, and her best interests in mind. So what if he didn't say "I love you" back? She was a big girl. She was Commander fucking Shepard. The feather soft touch of his hand at her spine was enough.

And it was, all the way up until it wasn't.

An endless wave of Cerberus agents had them pinned against a crumbling wall, somewhere in the heart of a human colony. She is out of ammo, save for the last two rounds in her SMG and the situation is bleak no matter how you looked at it. All in all, a familiar if unwelcomed scenario.

"Not a great situation here, Shepard," Garrus said.

"Is it ever?"

His laugh strikes at the small, vulnerable points in her armor. Ever the marksman. "No, I guess not." The flanking engineer drops when Garrus shoots him between the eyes. "You never take me anywhere nice. And here I was, thinking you loved me."

Shepard pops around the corner to lob a stream of biotic energy at the approaching centurion. "Maybe I just got tired of waiting to hear it back."

Garrus frowns but the firefight overtakes them, and Shepard let's the topic drop.

He waits until they're safely back aboard the Normandy to respond. Guns clunk heavily into their containers as she offloads the small armory she carries around. Vega is chatting with Cortez nearby, arguing over the value of titanium vs. steel bullet casings. Shepard focuses on their conversation to shake the weight of Garrus' eyes on her.

Unfortunately for her, the two men leave before she can finish unloading her weaponry and the moment the elevator door slides shut, he attacks.

With a speed wholly incompatible with the bulk of his body, Garrus crowds her into the wall. "What was that back there?" he asks.

"What was what?" Shepard plays coy because the opportunity never presents itself and she's otherwise too direct not to seize the twisted reprieve. "Just the usual gunfight between us and the enemy, Garrus."

He growls, subvocals a low reminder of the predator he's descended from. "We both know that's not what I'm talking about."

She stares up at him, defiant in the face of his demand. "Well I can't imagine--"

"Did I miscommunicate something here, Shepard? Have I not made myself clear?"

Heat, drawn from a myriad of sources, burns her face. "You've made yourself perfectly clear, Garrus."

His hands clutch at the cloth of her uniform, threatening to pull her apart at the seams. "Then what's wrong? Because something is wrong. I know you, Shepard. I know you better than I know myself and something is bothering you. Something I did."

"You didn't do anything," she snaps. "That's the whole fucking problem." Feelings and the blatant declaration of them have never been her strong suit and in the face of discomfort, Shepard grows indignant. "You played it too easy, Vakarian, just like you always do."

He recoils like a poorly maintained pistol. "What the hell does that mean?"

"It means--" she shouts, only to lower her tone when a passing officer glances their way. "It means that I don't like being toyed with. I made my--my feelings known. And enough time has past that I was hoping you'd finally do the same." Shepard pulls away. "I guess you have."

When she goes to leave, though, he holds tight, pressing her into the wall. "What feelings? What are you even talking about?"

"I love you, okay? And I know you know what it fucking means, Garrus. You seem to have no problem throwing the word around otherwise." The foolishness is too much, and her indignation dies an ugly death. "I just thought you'd have said it back by now."

The gauntlet of understanding plays out on his features. "Shepard, do you think--"

"Keep your pity, Garrus, I'm a big girl. I'll get over it. The war will make sure of that."

See the full post

171 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

#2

I love that Riz is the fandom fav because he’s just a little guy filled with an anxious, violent, righteous drive for the truth.

311 notes - Posted October 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

No because the exact moment Brennan dropped the act and let the true face of the Lord of the Hells and Father of Lies shine through was actually the single most awesome and terrifying thing I've seen at a D&D table.

359 notes - Posted June 19, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

this is wack LOVE that my longest tag is bitching about condoms and that my top two posts are Dimension 20/Brennan Lee Mulligan adjacent.

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[weinerantonsen50]

How To Blog For Great Success

Online blogging is an often, misunderstood tool for creating customer confidence and establishing a relationship with your clients. Relax and avoid ethereum daily active users of creating meaningful blogs by learning the tips and tricks of those who do it every day. Read on to gain the needed insights to make your own blogging efforts pay off for you. Make sure the amount of time between each of your blog posts is similar. This helps readers know when you'll be posting your next post. On the other hand, if you post two blog entries two days apart, then don't post another post for a week, people will get out of the habit of reading your blog. Avoid writing blogs about subjects you have no interest in or know nothing about. It will reflect in your writing and you could possibly come across as uninformed in you are unsure of what you are writing about. This can turn readers off and they will avoid revisiting your site. Be sure that you are taking adequate care of yourself. You want your writing to be fresh and exciting, and it is hard to think well when you are overly tired or hungry. While you are working, take breaks often to give your brain a chance to rest, and make sure that you are eating throughout the day. Make a posting routine. This requires lots of self-discipline, but it's essential to your blog. If it's not updated constantly, then there's no blog. Try experimenting until you find one that fits your pace. There are some bloggers that post around 2-3 articles each day, while others post about one each week. Create an email update list for your blog. On your site, offer a place for people to sign up for these updates and send them out every time you post a new blog. Those who are truly interested in following your blog will like the idea of being notified when new content is posted. Try to keep your blog posts brief and on-topic to help hold the readers interest. Don't use too many words or go on for too long, as your readers will lose interest. Provide details without making your blogs overly long. People who read blogs look for clear and concise information rather than complicated details. Give them the content they want and, unless your page is poetic or otherwise high brow in nature, not literary prose. The content of your blog should consist of high quality work. Before you post it, proofread your blog entry, to ensure that it is free from grammatical and typographical errors. You may also wish to have someone else read it, as a secondary proofreader and to ensure that the content is interesting to read. Structure your posts so the reader can simply scan them to catch the gist. Those who read blogs are, as a rule, an impatient bunch. They flip back and forth between pages practically at the speed of light. If you want to get your message across, give them something that will catch their attention with just a quick scan. Guest Posting is a great way to get targeted traffic to your blog. Guest posting is when you write an article on someone else's blog, which in turn will drive targeted and relevant traffic to your own blog. Just make sure you choose a blog that will send quality traffic to your blog. You can do this by selecting a blog that has a good reputation and already has plenty of traffic heading to their site. Make sure that you are blogging for the right reasons. If you are looking for some quick money, this is not the way to go. Blogging should be more of a hobby. If it becomes something that you start to dread, your writing will not be very good, and you will have less readers. So you see that blogging is indeed a skill, but one that can be learned by anyone with a sincere desire to establish a solid relationship with those who visit their website. Just because your customers are not ones that you meet face-to-face, does not mean that the personal element should be disregarded. Enact the techniques learned here to be a better blogger and a valued supplier for your clients.

#what is ethereum users