i’m sure someone’s had this exact thought before but i can’t stop thinking about 18 year old dean seeing 14 year old sam staying at home every night, no friends, just generally being a loner and it hurts his heart because sam is so cool and smart and funny and why can’t anyone else see that? why does he hide himself away?
but now they’re in high school together, so dean drags sam to a party one weekend even though sam whines about not wanting to go the whole way there because “everyone’s just gonna think i’m dumb and boring, they’re gonna think i’m a baby” and dean reassures him, “come on sammy, you don’t even have to talk to anyone, just come and have fun, i’ll be with you the whole time” but then his plan backfires immediately because everyone at the party is suddenly obsessed with dean’s sweet kid brother, all shy and he can’t hold his liquor and it’s all just so adorable, the girls can’t keep their hands off him and dean just goes a little bit insane with jealousy and territorialism. he grabs sam and drags him back to the car and now sam’s pouty because he was starting to actually enjoy himself, the attention felt good, and “we’ve only been here an hour, dean!” but dean doesn’t care, “we’re leaving, sam, this party’s fuckin’ lame” and sam’s like “this was YOUR idea, you’re the one who said i was antisocial” and dean’s just white-knuckling the steering wheel trying to keep his cool, that’s his fucking boy, no one else’s, see the way they touched him? like they had the right? no fucking way. “it was a stupid idea anyway. you’re just a kid” and it comes out so so angry and wrong and the hurt is so obvious on sam’s face, he’s still young enough that he can’t hide his feelings. but dean doesn’t know how else to be when other people so casually think sam is theirs
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Steve is afraid to touch Eddie.
But Eddie isn’t afraid to touch Steve. At all.
He doesn’t seem to be afraid to touch anyone actually.
His hands are like magnets, finding their polar opposites no matter who happens to be there.
Steve looks down at his own hands. Can hands be lonely? What a tragic sentiment.
He was known as the guy who slept around, the guy who gave his teammates a pat on the back when they pulled off an unexpected win, the guy who physically surrounded himself with people who thought friendly touches were slaps on the back that left bruises.
But he couldn’t think of the last time he touched someone in a casual, friendly way.
Eddie never held back. Steve wanted to be like that.
So he started giving every kid hugs when they left. They didn’t say anything, but he couldn’t help but be a little intimidated by Max’s raised brows and Mike’s lip curl the first few times he does it.
He holds Robin’s hand during movie night and she gives him a look that says she’s worried about him, but won’t say anything.
Even Argyle isn’t immune to his attempts, throwing a high five that turns into a much-too-long hand clasp that turns into awkwardly staring into each others’ eyes before Jonathan interrupts the moment with a laugh. Whatever that was may have pushed Steve’s abilities too far.
So when he thinks he can subtly lean into Eddie’s shoulder at dinner with Nancy and Robin, just to make sure he’s capable of touching him without his heart exploding, he tries.
Eddie freezes mid sentence. Robin’s eyes widen from across the table. Nancy’s eyes are squinting closed so tightly, it’s a miracle she can even still see out of them.
So Steve runs. Like, actually gets up and runs out of the room.
There’s no saving whatever that was and he’s just going to have to come to terms with never being able to look any adult in his life in the eyes again when he feels a strong hand on his shoulder. He could pull away, but he knows who the hand belongs to, and despite how miserable he’ll be during this conversation, he knows Eddie won’t just let it slide.
So he turns.
He looks at Eddie’s face.
And he realizes that he made a grave mistake.
No, not with the casual touch of shoulder to shoulder, arm to arm.
With running.
Eddie’s wide eyes were practically begging Steve to explain. So before Eddie even said a thing, Steve leaned in, wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist, and let his head rest against his shoulder.
He let his mind wander to how Eddie’d spent the last few months brushing his hand against Steve’s when passing him in the kitchen, how he squeezed his knee in the car as a thanks for driving him to appointments when Wayne was busy, how he wrapped his arm around his shoulders when the kids were being too much and Steve had his hands on his hips ready to be the mom they all claimed he was.
How even as casual as Eddie was with touch, he’d never hugged Steve.
“Why haven’t you hugged me?”
Steve didn’t know why he asked out loud. It’s not like he was accusing Eddie of anything. Or maybe he was. Maybe he was more hurt than he thought. Maybe he thought that Eddie held back because Steve was untouchable to him in the ways that mattered.
“What?”
Eddie’s voice was quiet, damn near whispering. Steve took a second to realize his hands had very loosely found a home on his hips.
“You hug everyone else. I just wondered if I did something to make you think you couldn’t hug me.”
It’s all out there now, Harrington. He’s either gonna think you’re crazy or he’s gonna think you’re needy. Not sure what’s worse.
Suddenly, hands were tightening on his hips. Before Steve could react, Eddie’s arms were wrapping around his waist and squeezing him against his front.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sorry? For what?”
Steve felt Eddie shake his head, burying it further into his shoulder.
“I just didn’t think you wanted me to.”
“Why wouldn’t I?”
“A hug from the freak isn’t exactly a gold star for the king.”
Steve wasn’t having that. Not now, not ever.
He pulled his head away, causing Eddie to do the same.
“We aren’t those people. We’re well past being what teenagers thought of us.”
“But you’re still…you.”
“Me? And who am I?”
“Steve Harrington. Completely unattainable in every way. Untouchable.”
“You’re touching me right now.”
Eddie shook his head as if to clear it.
“It’s different.”
“Why?”
“God, you’re worse than a toddler who just learned they can ask questions.”
Steve couldn’t help the smirk that appeared on his face. He waited for Eddie to continue.
“You remember what I told you in the hospital?”
Steve did. Of course he did. It was what sent him on a full spiral with Robin about his own sexuality. He hadn’t necessarily panicked, he’d just been shocked to know that the feelings he’d had about Tom Cruise were not because he was a great actor.
“Yeah, I remember.”
“Usually straight guys aren’t really into queers touching them, even if it is innocent.”
The way Eddie spoke about himself was in direct contrast to the way he acted. He was loud confidence, exuberantly himself. But when it came down to it, he was just as insecure as Steve.
“Well maybe straight guys do, but I’m not exactly straight.”
They stared at each other in silence.
“Robin! You fucking lied to me!”
Steve snorted as Eddie yelled back towards the dining room.
“When did she lie to you?”
“Last month’s movie night. You kept looking at me like you wanted to kiss me and I thought I was going insane so after I asked Robin and she insisted that I was imagining it. Insisted!”
Steve couldn’t help the little giggle he let out at that. Robin was a great friend. A terrible liar, but a great friend.
“We could do that now.”
“Do what?”
Eddie sounded exasperated. Steve kind of loved it.
“Kiss.”
“Now?”
Steve nodded.
“We just hugged for the first time and now you want to kiss?”
Steve bit his lip, nodded again.
“Jesus Christ. I’m gonna have my hands full with you aren’t I?”
“And full of me too, if you know what I mean.”
Eddie groaned as Steve leaned further in.
“You gonna kiss me or should I do it?”
“You’re the brave one today.”
So Steve decided he could be brave and touch Eddie again. He placed his hand on Eddie’s cheek, gently pulling him in so they’re lips barely brushed against each other.
Steve always loved the anticipation before a kiss, but Eddie was impatient.
When Eddie closed the final few centimeters between them, Steve felt his stomach clench and his heart stop.
It was more than he expected to happen when he leaned into Eddie. But if leaning in is all Eddie needed, Steve could keep being brave and touch him.
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