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yan-lorkai · 2 months

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Haiii can I request some hcs or a small fic of Ruggie with a reader who’s very socially awkward (basically like bocchi if you know the show) but has a very obvious puppy crush on him?

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ A/N: I honestly was saving this rq because I wanted to watch Bocchi first since you mentioned it. And I was not disappointed, though I'm still in ep5 I already love them all. Reader in this is pretty much Bocchi coded.

.⁠｡⁠*⁠♡ Warnings: Yandere content, reader stutter and overthink quite a lot here, very soft Ruggie + nicknames ฅ⁠^⁠•⁠ﻌ⁠•⁠^⁠ฅ

You can do it, you are capable! You repeated to yourself in front of the mirror for the tenth time that day, determined to do something you'd never done before: have a whole conversation with Ruggie.

It was something extremely small and simple, and other people would judge it as a somewhat foolish wish. But other people didn't have social phobia, they didn't get scared or panicked or feel like thousands of eyes were on them, other people didn't live in your shoes to understand what you went through on a daily basis. But for Ruggie, it was worth trying to overcome your fears, he was worth it even if it drained you immensely to be in the epicenter of the hurricane (in the middle of a bunch of people), feeling as if everyone was looking and laughing at you.

In the mirror a small smile adorned your face. Everything will be fine!

You left your room with confident steps, after all spending time with Ruggie always made you confident as if nothing in the world could bring you down or go wrong. On you, he had this kind of effect. In addition to being calming for your ever-so-anxious mind. Being with him was like playing your guitar, it was natural, comfy even.

You have yet to play the guitar to him as he had asked if he could hear you when he found out you could play. You were already imagining playing alongside him. What you were imagining made you happy, even when you bumped into someone else and apologized, awkwardly, embarrassed by your clumsiness.

Though when you did find him, Ruggie was talking with Leona, the atmosphere seemed tense, as if they were discussing something serious. Or your mind was only creating yet another unprovable scenario, as usual, though even if that's was the case you were already trembling subtly, as a kitten learning how to walk.

Despite being on good terms with him, you couldn't shake off the feeling that Leona didn't wanted you there. Were he staring at you- no, he wasn't. He was still talking with Ruggie, Leona's tail wagging lazily behind him while Ruggie crossed his arms close to his chest. Could you come closer? Or should you go back to your room? Would they mind if you were there?

Maybe you should hide inside a trash can as you usually did whenever you felt overwhelmed and need to escape quickly. Though unfortunately there wasn't any trash can, looking around there aren't any visible dark, tiny places to hide in either. You audibly gulped, paralyzed, the seconds seemed to be passing by agonizingly slow.

'Maybe I should turn around and run', you thought to yourself. But your feet didn't move it.

A soft hand landed on your shoulder and you jumped, a whine leaving your lips as you raised your eyes to see who that hand belonged to. It belonged to Ruggie, his beautiful eyes looking right at yours as he seemed to know what you were thinking and was silently telling you not to worry.

"There you go again, you troublesome kitten," He teased you affectionately and quickly added. "Inhale through the mouth, exhale through the nose. Slowly."

You frowned and then realized how much your heart was racing and you could feel the familiar tightness in your chest. Your mind racing with thoughts of whether you're intruding or if they even want you there. And you followed his commands, slowly, so slowly.

'You look pathetic,' A voice in your head told you. So worked up just because of an assumption, so afraid of everything. 'Pathetic.'

"H-hey, um... sor-ry to bother and interrupt you two, ah, I can, like, go away if you want." You mumbled sofly, but truly you were whispering, your voice as low and weak as possible, as you looked at the floor which seemed more interesting than whatever expression the duo was doing.

'They must be thinking ho-' That annoying voice was interrupted by Ruggie's heavenly voice and his hand that grounds you there.

"Don't worry your pretty head too much, we were just talking about the last spelldrive game." He explained, ears twitching as his hand remained on your shoulder, giving you his silent support as you breathed till you were calm again.

Despite your social anxiety urging you to turn back and hide in your room with this failure of an attempt, you mustered up the necessary courage to stay, a tired little smile growing on your lips as you looked at him. At his very green eyes that looked like a beautiful forest.

You still felt as prey surrounded by predators. You still felt as if they were ready to pounce on you and tear you apart. But you knew it was not truth, it couldn't be. Ruggie would never hurt anyo- uh, nevermind, anyways he wouldn't hurt you. You knew this much, you trusted him without a doubt.

Ruggie offered you a reassuring smile. And his lovely eyes made you weak in the knees, your heart beating like crazy inside your chest as you maintained prolonged eye contact with him. All your words forgotten, all your thoughts quietened for a moment. Very distantly you could hear Leona's soft laughter at how you looked at Ruggie without realizing your eyes were shining and a dumb smile was on your lips.

Leona coughed to caught Ruggie's attention back. You too looked at him and his expression was still inflexible but he nodded in your direction as if to welcome you when he noticed you staring. "We were discussing some strategies, herbivore. The last game was lacking."

Oh, spelldrive. You didn't know much about it but even if you did, maybe you wouldn't be able to express your thoughts properly. The courtyard was crowded, people walking and talking and all around you. You took a deep breath again, so far everything was good... Right?

"We should change our tactics." Ruggie said, quite uninteresting with the topic. You could see his little tail wagging behind his back, lazily while he explained his point. He could talk for hours about anything and you would still have a smile on your face while you heard him. It was a tranquil, soft sound, like a bird singing every morning.

"Shishishi, look at you!" His calloused hands cupped your face and you realized you were daydreaming again. Your whole face was warm as fire when you noticed how close he was. "Lost in your head, kitten? Didn't even said a word." He teased a little.

"I, uh, I..." What should you say? That you just wanted to spend some time with him? Was that a good enough reason? But what if he thinks you're weird? What if he thinks you are so weird that he doesn't want to be friends with you anymore? Worse... What if he found out that you had a crush on him?

Geez, you don't even want to think about it. If you had time to thought then you knew that only negative thoughts would live there.

Take a deep breath, it's okay to feel nervous. You told yourself, but his eyes were so mesmerizing, so beautiful that you quickly got lost inside them. Being genuine and honest is usually the best approach. Don't think, just speak. You got this!

"Well... I just wanted to say that I really enjoy spending time with you. You're a great person to be around, and I was hoping we could hang out more often. I know it might sound a bit random, but I value our friendship and I wanted to be honest about how I feel." You said, your whole burning while you fought against your anxiety and stood your ground.

Any other day you would have ran away or just not say everything out loud but you had made a promise with yourself and you were going to stay true to it. You wanted to overcome your shyness and anxiety, you wanted to be able to talk and laugh without worrying about anything. And Ruggie was quite happy with what you said, you realized. He was happy, not angry.

He petted your head and smiled. "Good work, it was hard to say this out loud, wasn't it? I'm proud of you."

Right at that instant you felt an enormous weight getting out of your shoulders. He was proud of you! He was not weirded out by you. A big sigh left your throat as you enjoyed the affection he gave you.

Maybe you should get out of your comfort zone more times.

#twisted wonderland #yandere twisted wonderland #yandere ruggie #yandere ruggie bucchi #yandere ruggie x mc #yandere ruggie x reader #ruggie x mc #ruggie x reader #ruggie x yuu #lorkai imagine

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leasstories · 7 months

Text

The New Girl

Eddie Munson x fem!reader

TW: SH, blood, drug use, depression, mentions of bullying

Your family just moved in Hawkins Indiana, you're 18 and this is your senior year. You were your old town's freak, and the fact that you were a girl made it even worse. You were considered the town’s freak because you were mainly listening to metal and Rock N'Roll but also because you loved Roleplay games. One day, you saw this magazine about Dungeon and Dragons and you really enjoyed the game's concept, you knew pretty much everything about this game but you had no one to play it with. This year means new resolutions and you decided to be the most "normal" that you could be. It means you have to say goodbye to the ripped jeans but also goodbye to the band t-shirts. And you even consider joining the cheerleaders even though you hate what they do. You won't be able to go through another year of bullying, all alone. Your high school years were really hard on you, you went into depression and school phobia and started having self harming habits. This year has to be different. You're even gonna hide your tattoos and you dyed your hair back in your h/c which is far different from their previous color which was claret-red.

This is your first day at Hawkins High, you dressed in a plain white, long sleeve t-shirt and a blue jean, and you only did your make up with foundation and mascara. You rush downstair, take your bag, a pancake and rush through the door while screaming "See you tonight !" to your parents. You hear your mom wishing you a good day before sitting on the driver seat of your car. You drive to school even though you are early and you hope you can find a calm spot in order to hide and smoke your cigarette before heading to class. You park your car on the parking, get out and see a little path leading to the forest, you take it and arrive at a picnic table, you sit thinking it's a very calm spot for your little pre first day cigarette. You sit down, take your cigarette out and start smoking when you hear leaves scrunching behind you. You jump off of the bench, to see a teenager, or young adult you don't know, with brown curly hair, brown eyes and his clothes are very similar to your former clothes. He raises his hands in surrender to show you he means no harm before speaking.

"I never saw you around"

"I'm new in town" you answer

The boy looks at you with his big brown eyes, you can't help but stare at him, but also admire him for being confident enough to wear the clothes he wants, you remember that once, you were like him, but that led you to be in such a dark place that you think it doesn't worth it.

"Then welcome perfect stranger, I'm Eddie Munson !"

You chuckle before answering "I'm Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N"

"Nice to meet you, I actually can't believe you are talking to me, most people would have ran away"

"Why is that ?” you ask

"Because I'm the town's freak" he makes invisible quoting marks with his hands "mean and scary"

"You don't seem mean and scary to me"

"Well thank you, but you shouldn't hang out with me at school, not that I don't like you no, you are pretty and I enjoy talking to you but-"

You cut Eddie's rambling. "I can manage hanging out with the outcasts, I actually was an outcast in my old town"

"You don't seem an outcast to me, you seem the most normal person I've ever seen, and it's not an insult at all I promise" Eddie is all flustered and keep rambling.

"My style, my real style is similar to yours to be honest, I just changed it because I couldn't take being the freak anymore but I admire you. I admire you for not caring about what others think, and" you take a deep breathe "I want to learn, that's why, if you accept it of course, I'm gonna hang out with you at school"

While you were talking Eddie took a black lunch box out and started rolling a joint.

"I'd be honored to hang out with you, and I'll help you, I'll help you see how unimportant people's opinion is, all that matters is that you are comfortable in your own clothes, that you feel yourself. Do you even feel yourself in those ?"

You look at the ground, ashamed before answering "Not really..."

"You don't have to feel ashamed. I promise to help you be yourself" Eddie lits up his joint, you look at the joint tempted before Eddie asks you "Wanna share it with me ?"

You think about it, and if you're gonna walk into the hall of your new high school with him, you'll need courage, plus you haven't had one in two days now and the withdrawal is getting really strong so you nod.

"Before I share it with you I need you to say it out loud, please"

"Yes I want to share it with you"

Eddie hands you the joint and you take a few hits before handing it back to him. You look at your watch before cursing "shit ! Eddie we're gonna be late !"

Eddie shrugs but then he sees the panic in your eyes and takes his stuff before leading you to the high school.

When you both enter the halls, everyone looks at you. You start fidgeting with your fingers, really anxious for this first day when Eddie says. "You have nothing to be afraid of, if anyone is rude to you come to me and I'll flip them off"

You chuckle slightly before answering "thank you Eddie". Gosh you find this boy really sweet but also insanely attractive, but of course you keep your thoughts to yourself.

Eddie leads you to the secretary office and waits for you outside while you go pick up your timetable as well as your locker number and code. When you head out, you look surprised that Eddie is still here.

"What are you still doing here, you're gonna be late."

"I wasn't going to let you get lost in the maze that is Hawkins high, plus I don't care about being late"

"Thank you, I'm going to my locker and then to my first class"

Eddie snatches your timetable from your hands and look at you, grinning.

"We are together almost all morning !" he seems very excited at the idea of spending the morning with you and deep down you are too. You are also relieved.

"Sounds amazing" you answer

After your last class of the morning, that you had to spend without Eddie, you're going to the cafeteria, you enter and go grab food, once you have your tray, you look around for somewhere to sit when one of the basketball player, you think his name is Jason, goes to you and tell you "Wanna sit with us new girl ?"

You look at him in disbelief because of what he just called you, but you're kinda scared of him, you knew people like that at your old school, one of them used to hit you every single day, you start trembling a bit.

Eddie is sitting at his table with his friends from Hellfire. Gareth, Jeff, Dustin and Mike all look at the scene happening a few meters away which is your interaction with Jason when Gareth says.

"Look at the new girl already being seduced by the King of Hawkins high"

At those few words, Eddie raises his head from his plate and look at the exchange between you and Jason, he can sense that something is off but before he can say anything Dustin speak up.

"Why does she look so uncomfortable ?"

Eddie gets up on the table and scream "YN, you can come sit here if you want"

The whole cafeteria look at you and then Eddie in disbelief and Jason look at you with a glare saying 'don't you dare sit with him'. Before you could say anything Jason turns to Eddie and says "Want somethin' freak ?". The nickname make you wince and you get out of the cafetaria, running, with teary eyes. You run until you reach the picnic table you were sat on this morning.

Meanwhile, Eddie makes a face at Jason before jumping from the table and going to look for you. After 10 minutes of searching the whole High School, Eddie comes to the conclusion that you are at the picnic table. He goes there and see you with a bloody razor blade in your hand, crying. He delicately sits next to you and take the blade from your hands, he doesn't say anything because to be honest, he doesn't know what to say.

"I'm sorry" you manage to say between sobs

"Don't be YN, I am the one who is sorry, I should have been waiting for you at your class. What happened with Jason, did he say something ?"

You start crying even more at the mention of what happened in the cafeteria, Eddie start rubbing your back before he remembers the bloody blade. He looks at your bloody wrists and take one in his hand, he take his bandana and start wiping off the blood while you keep crying.

"I'm sorry if it hurts sweetheart but I have to clean all that blood"

You wince when the fabric of the bandana touch your wrist but you don't back up. You're ashamed that he saw you like that though.

After Eddie finished wiping the blood from your left wrist, he wipes the blood from your left wrist.

He keeps rubbing your back while you sob before asking "do you wanna talk about what happened in there ?"

You take a shaky breath before saying "I've known someone like Jason... back in my former high school, and he-" you start crying again "he hurt me almost every single day..."

"I'm sorry to hear that YN... Jason is a dick but he'd never hurt you like that, and even if he tried I wouldn't let him"

You look at Eddie, still sobbing, with your teary eyes and you mutter a shaky "thank you"

Then Eddie looks back at yout wrists and hesitate before asking "do you hurt yourself often ?"

You burry your face in your hands, ashamed and keep sobbing.

Eddie gets up from the bench and kneel before you, taking your hands away from your face. He lift your chin up so you can look at him before saying "You don't have to answer YN, but I want you to know that you can tell me anything, I'd never judge you or tell anyone what you tell me"

"I do..." you end up answering

Eddie look at you with saddened eyes before searching for a pen and a paper through his bag, he writes down his adress and phone number and hands it to you.

"The next time you want to do that, call me or come see me, I'll try taking your mind off of it, and if you can't help but do it, I'll at least clean your cuts"

You take the paper after thanking him.

"Do you want me to bring you back home ?" You nod, you and Eddie go back to your car, once you've unlocked the car Eddie opens the passenger door for you.

"What are you doing ?" you say

"Driving you home" Eddie answers

"But what about your car ?"

"Don't worry for me YN, I won't let you drive when you're all shaken up, please let me do that for you"

You nod and climb on the passenger seat. Eddie close your door before climbing on the driver's seat. You give him the direction to your home. The ride is silent, but it's a comfortable silence. Once you arrive, Eddie open the passenger door for you before leading you to your door.

You unlock your door when Eddie says "See ya tomorrow YN !"

"Can you... can you stay please" you ask

Eddie look at you before saying "Of course I can, I have nothing better to do anyway, I can stay until your parents come back"

"Thank you so much" you say with a weak smile.

You lead Eddie to the couch and instruct him to sit down.

"I know you've been wanting to ask me something all the way home, please go ahead, ask me, whatever it is I'm prepared."

"Why do you hurt yourself ?"

You take a shaky breath before answering "Because the pain I feel inside of me is eating me alive, when I cut myself my focus is on another kind of pain, one that hurt less than the pain inside of me"

Eddie takes your hand. "I'm sorry, I wish I could take away some of your pain"

After this conversation, Eddie cheered you up, he made some jokes to make you laugh, you listened to Iron Maiden together, and when it was time for him to leave you kissed him on the cheek and Eddie was all flustered.

The next days, you spent a lot of time together and Eddie was always trying to put a smile on your face, he was doing everything in his power to make you forget the demons from your past, and it worked, every time you were with him you were laughing and smiling. Thanksgiving holidays were approaching, which meant you would be all by yourself for a week. But you decided that you won't tell Eddie, he has to enjoy Thanksgiving holidays with his family, he needs to take time for himself. You can't ask him to spend his entire holiday with you even though you'd really like that. You can't be selfish, he's done so much for you in the past weeks.

This is the last day before the holidays and you decided to go to school with your style, you put on a black Metallica t-shirt with a black ripped jean, Doc Martens and let your tattoos show, you didn't tell Eddie that you would come to school like that, when you entered the hall, everyone was whispering, you went to class and sat at the last raw, next to Eddie's usual place.

Eddie was late as usual, when he entered the class he saw everyone whispering but paid no further attention, until his eyes spotted you. When he looked at you, his jaw dropped, he didn't think you'd be ready yet. He went to sit next to you and saw you figdeting and your knee bounce, you two had gotten really close in the past weeks so he put his hand on your knee and look at you, a look meaning 'I'm here for you'. The class go by and you keep fidgeting but Eddie keeps his hand on your knee until the teacher notice.

"Can I help you Mister Munson" she says

"I'm sorry Miss, I wasn't feeling well and Eddie was showing me emotional support" you answer

"The freak help the freak" says a cheerleader. Chrissy turn to you with an apologetic smile.

"Mrs Smith, I didn't ask for a comment, Mr Munson just remove your hand from her knee"

Eddie look at you before doing so, you nod, making him understand that it's okay. Deep down it isn't and you know that you aren't going to your next class.

When the bell ring, you don't even wait for Eddie and run to the bathroom, you lock yourself until the bell ring to indicate that the next class is starting.

Eddie enter the next class, he scans the room but doesn't see you, he doesn't care about what the teacher will say, he just get out of the room, ignoring the teacher who was ordering him to come back to class. He knew where you were but he also knew that you were hurting yourself, he knows how hard it had been for you and also know you weren't ready to handle everything that was coming with assuming your style, your mental health was still very fragile even though Eddie had helped you a lot. He had to find you, you needed him now more than ever.

You were sat at the picnic table, looking blankly at your bloody wrist when Eddie found you, he sat next to you and you were so afraid that you disappointed him that you decided to speak first, looking at your shoes.

"I'm sorry Eddie, I couldn't help it"

Eddie looks at you with a saddened but understanding look. "I'm not mad YN, I promise, let me fix this."

Eddie goes through his bag and take out some gauze and a bottle of antiseptic, he always has it in his bag since the first time he saw you hurt yourself, just in case. He didn't have to use it in a while, but he knew that you would probably relapse one day, and Eddie was glad he didn't take it out of his bag.

Eddie put some antiseptic on the gauze and started cleaning your wounds, he then looked at you in the eyes before saying "I really like your style" Eddie is grinning, even though he shouldn't be flirty, he can't help, you're just so beautiful, even more when you’re yourself. Eddie doesn't care about your scars, and even if it saddened him, the fact that you happened to hurt yourself wasn't something that made him run away. Eddie fell for you in those few weeks you spent together.

"Thank you for cleaning this up, and for the compliment" you blush at each special attentions.

"You’re not so bad yourself Munson" you added

Eddie got closer to you and took your hand in his. "I have something to tell you YN, and I know that now might not be the best timing but I can't keep it to myself anymore."

"I love you Eddie" you blurt out without thinking. When you realize what you just say you put your left hand on your mouth and take your hand away of Eddie's, ready to leave.

Eddie grabs you by the wrist and kisses you passionately before saying "I was going to say that I love you more than I should love a friend. And please don't interrupt me, let me finish. I really enjoy every moment with you, and I'm proud of you for coming to school like that, I'm proud of you for not self harming for weeks. Yes you've relapsed today, but relapse is part of recovery and please believe me when I say that you can tell me when you've done it, I'd rather be there for you, help you clean it up and help taking away your guilt than not knowing what you're going through. You've come such a long way YN, and I'm so so proud of you. I love you and nothing can change that."

You have tears in your eyes, what Eddie said is so beautiful, you don't even know what to answer to that, no one as never been this kind to you before and it's overwhelming, so instead of saying anything you hug him and don't let go.

It is Thanksgiving today, your parents left in order to spend Thanksgiving with your grand-parents as well as your aunts and uncles that you don't particularly appreciate, that's why you decided to stay home. You have been trying out outfits all morning long to find the perfect outfit and now you found it, you're gonna wear a black leather dress, tights and heeled boots, you put on some black eye liner, mascara and red lipstick. You've just finished putting your hair in a tight bun when you hear Eddie's van pulling up in your backyard. You rush to the door taking your keys and bag. Your run in Eddie's arms and hug him tight, your legs around his waist. Eddie chuckles and kiss you before saying "Ready to spend Thanksgiving with me and my uncle ?"

You seem a bit stressed so Eddie looks at you in the eyes before saying "Wayne is gonna love you YN, I'm sure of that"

You spend the ride hand in hand, listening to your favorite song, 'Rainbow In the Dark' by Dio.

"Eddie ?" you say, breaking the silence

"Mmh" he answers

"You are my Rainbow in the dark"

Eddie smiles and squeezes your hand. "I love you Sweetheart"

" I love you too Eddie"

And as Eddie predicted Wayne loves you and you spent the best Thanksgiving you've ever spent, surronded by people you feel safe around. Not thinking once about hurting yourself. Eddie is really your Rainbow in the dark.

If you or anyone you know has to deal with SH, depression or suicidal thoughts please reach out for help. https://www.cdc.gov/reproductivehealth/depression/resources.htm

#eddie munson comfort #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #eddie munson x female reader #Eddie Munson is a sweetheart #Spotify

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chaotic-orphan · 4 months

Text

Febuwhump: Day Twenty

Truth serum— @febuwhump prompts

Is it Whump? If you squint, your honour.

TW: needles, fear of needles, needle phobia, being injected against will, restraints, kidnapping, grogginess, fainting, consent issues,

*~*~*~*~*

Journalist didn’t wake to their alarm or their phone ringing, both of which were the only things to rouse them from sleep. They groaned as they woke which, to be fair, was a usual thing because it meant they had to get up and work or meet a deadline or something equally groan worthy.

What was not usual was waking up strapped to a metal table. That was a new one, even for journalist.

I bet i am restrained, they thought, then tugged their arms for good measure. Oh, yep. Definitely restrained.

Cliché.

Which meant—

“You’re awake,” said Villain, a smile in their voice. Journalist craned their neck awkwardly trying to see Villain but groaned with the effort and the weight of their head like it was filled with lead. “Oh, yeah, no. Don’t move.”

“Got it,” Journalist groaned as their brain rattled in their head, making the room spin. “Uh, why am I here?”

“We need to have a little chat.”

“We had a little chat like — two days ago,” said Journalist with a groan. “It was far more civil and less dizzying.”

Villain finally came within view of Journalist and they had three heads. That was very different than last time they saw Villain, but alas, who was Journalist to judge.

“It’s actually about something we talked about,” said the Villains. Then they smiled coyly. “And Darling, get your facts right, we spoke three days ago.”

“Fuck,” Journalist whined and pulled at their restraints that clicked taut. “My boss is gonna be pissed—“”

“It’s fine,” said Villains with a shrug, now there was only two of them, the third having left the conversation. “Just tell them you were kidnapped.”

“Oh no, I mean pissed with you,” said Journalist. “You can so goodbye to any more favourable articles.”

Villain snorted then disappeared from view again.

“They will!” Journalist told them earnestly. Villain then reappeared beside Journalist’s left arm. Only one of them now thankfully, and a giant fucking needle.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” Journalist shrieked, kicking their feet against the table trying to get away from whatever the fuck Villain was about to do. The sound of the restraints clacking against the table didn’t do anything to ease their panic. “Wait! Wait! Wait! Villain please, I’m— oh god, I’m terrified of— I can’t—”

Villain’s eyebrows furrowed as Journalist descended into a panic attack. They quickly lowered the needle out of sight but Journalist’s eyes were already rolling to the back of their head and their body went limp.

Villain stared, stunned. Then brought the needle up again and while Journalist was passed out injected them with the contents, thumbing down the plunger. Villain set the needle down on a table faraway from Journalist and sighed.

They should have known Journalist had a phobia of needles. Idiot, but… it had to be done. Villain had to know once and for all.

They walked back over to Journalist and lightly tapped their cheeks to wake them. Journalist moaned in protest, but then blinked up with bleary eyes at Villain.

“Relax,” said Villain softly when Journalist’s eyes widened again. “It’s gone. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Shit, I’m sorry for fainting on you,” said Journalist with a breath, relaxing back against the table. Villain chuckled lightly at Journalist.

“You’re such a polite hostage,” said Villain and basked as a red blush climbed its way up Journalist’s neck and spread to their cheeks. “You’re blushing!”

“Shut up,” Journalist said with a huff, with no real malice behind the words. Villain hummed and stepped closer, brushing the stray hairs from Journalist’s forehead. They loved the way Journalist’s eyes shuttered at the movement. When Supervillain said the truth serum made people putty in your hands, Villain wasn’t expecting this.

Villain ran their hand lightly through Journalist’s hair as they began their gentle interrogation.

“Journalist?” Villain asked. Journalist hummed in response. Villain smiled. “I need to ask you a question, and I need you to be 100% honest with me.”

Journalist hummed again. “Okay Villain.”

Villain licked their lips, suddenly nervous. Here it was. This was it. Journalist was right here in front of them, injected with truth serum ready to spill their secrets and Villain was hesitating?!

“Are you…” Villain began then cleared their throat. “Are you Hero?”

Journalist smiled dreamily. “No.”

Villain paled. “No?”

“No,” Journalist said again. Villain’s hands froze in Journalist’s hair. Journalist let out a small keen in the back of their throat, whining at Villain’s pause. Villain resumed more out of shock than anything.

“You’re not Hero?” Villain asked again. They were almost certain…

“No, I’m Journalist.”

Villain blinked. Okay, they weren’t expecting this. Hero wasn’t Journalist? Then—

“But our conversation, you said your source was 100% about Hero?”

“Yes,” said Journalist with a smile. “It was.”

“Your most trusted source?”

“Yes.”

Villain frowned, something like jealousy settling in their throat. “Is Hero… your lover?”

Journalist giggled, actually giggled at Villain’s question. “No.”

“Then who is your most trusted source?” Villain demanded.

“Me,” said Journalist. “The best person to validate facts is yourself, Villain. So I had it on good authority that my information was correct.”

Villain frowned. “But how did you—”

“I’m the Hero/Villain liaison for the city news, Villain, I don’t just have late night rendezvous with you.”

Villain deflated. They really didn’t expect this conversation to go like this, but this— they thought, they were a fool. They should have never done this, curiosity killed—

“But you are my favourite.”

Villain’s heart leapt in their chest. “I am?” Villain asked, their voice coming out in a whisper.

“Yes,” said Journalist. “You’re always kind with me. Hero’s too serious and annoying.”

Villain snorted again. “They are. So… you’re really not Hero?”

Journalist giggled. “Villain, don’t be so cliché. I’m not Clark Kent.”

Villain smiled softly at Journalist. “Though, I don’t like the way you kidnapped me. My boss is gonna be so mad at you.”

“I know, Journalist.”

“And stabbing me with a needle? Not a great look for you, you can’t just do that without consent.”

Villain laughed. “I didn’t even need to give you truth serum did I? You say whatever is on your mind anyways.”

“No time to think up lies, Villain. I’m a busy person.”

“You are,” said Villain.

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chaosvents · 8 months

Text

A post about my ex who fucked me up so bad hahahaha.

Tw this guy is literally pro-hitler so like. If any or the isms and phobias bug you don't read any of my posts about him lol

So anyway one of this guy's wildest beliefs was that your personal politics should be actively NOT self serving. Like he told me that I shouldn't be pro-birth control/plan b/abortion even though I had been sexually assaulted and relied on those things to avoid pregnancy, because my attacker was white. So he was like honestly you would've been worth more in the world if you had his kid. For the greater good or whatever.

And he would lecture me for hours and hours and hours at a time about how I should basically chemically lobotomize myself with mood stabilizers until I had no opinions of my own, because I was a white woman and should really not do anything but repeatedly have kids. And I was expected to be like yep this is the life I want.

When we moved to phoenix, he was aware of my heart condition. I have POTS, which mixes horrifically with heat like that. We lived there for 3 years and most of that time I was in bed sick because the heat made my illness so much worse. I relied on him for everything.

I developed a bunch of shitty coping skills that probably have fancy psychology names like cognitive dissonance (which is like doublethink, which I did constantly for all 5 years and I'm sure it caused brain damage or something tbh) but it all boiled down to me completely buying that he was the only person on the planet who could tolerate me and that I had to bend to his will or be alone forever. It's been years since I even saw him and I still haven't dated seriously or gotten close with anyone.

I hold everyone at arms length, barely text my friends and am disconnected from everything and floating through life atm. Still trying to reverse all the damage he did. I have no self worth and no metric for what it feels like to be loved instead of just owned and controlled. I don't know what I want out of my life.

I don't understand how I could have let myself be so controlled by him. Why did I move across the entire country with him? Why did I let him push all my friends out of my life, change my career (he didn't approve of me being a barber because it was "basically like being a stripper"), and cross 8 states to get away from my life? To be... with him? Why did I let him convince me I was a docile, sweet, straight woman who wanted nothing more than tradwife and babymaking duties?

Even after I came out as what I thought was lesbian at the time, he still demanded sex from me multiple times a day and wouldn't take his computer stuff out of the second bedroom so I could sleep there. I had to sleep next to him and let him do whatever he wanted to me because he was paying the rent. I was forced into it so often that I convinced myself I liked it. Which is probably why now I'm so confused by my sexuality. What's a trauma response? What's genuine attraction? Who knows.

In march of 2020 I lost my job. He immediately kicked me out and I had to find an apartment alone, with no job, across the country from my family, in the middle of a pandemic. I've never had a worse mental health situation in my life and I've been inpatient 4 times. I barely remember any of 2020 because guess what? It isn't like I was allowed to stop having sex with him and showering with him because we didn't live together. He showed up constantly. Stole my spare key and made a copy so he could come in whenever he wanted to.

So why didn't I call the cops or something? Idk. I didn't really register that it was a problem at the time, he had been torturing me with stuff like this since I 19. By the time I was living alone in a shitty studio during a pandemic with no friends and my family a $400 plane ticket away, I just assumed that my life was being forced to perform a blow job, then let him fuck me, then showering in my tiny apartment shower with him while he leered and stared and grabbed my body, and then watch him play video games on his PC afterwards while sitting in silence on the bed.

One time he took away all my birth control pills and made me watch while he flushed them all. Going off of them suddenly made my lamictal way too strong (and of course he was force feeding me the lamictal so there was no such thing as adjusting the dose) and I got what I'm assuming was serotonin syndrome. I was blacking put, vomiting, hallucinating, terrified, and completely alone. I was calling him because he took away everyone else in my life and all I had was him. I drove to his apartment and begged for help. He ignored me and let me lay unconscious in my car outside his apartment for hours and hours in the middle of the day. In phoenix, in July.

I don't know what happened that day. I don't know what he did to me, but eventually I woke up at home. I found my car in the parking lot of a nearby grocery store.

I'm lucky I got away alive and without a baby. No one deserves to inherit half of my shitty genome and half of his. I'm lucky I got away at all, but not until he broke my spirit, took away all my support, dragged me across the country to a climate that made me severely ill, repeatedly forced me into sex after I came out, gaslit me, made me homeless mid pandemic, then continued to abuse his power until it literally almost killed me.

I met this guy when I was in high school. We were together from when I was 19. We moved to phoenix when I was 22 and he controlled me until I moved back home in July of 2022 when I was 26. The final straw was when I went out on my own for the first time in years and the bartender put drugs in my drink. I woke up alone in a swanky downtown apartment and when I called him to pick me up he told me if I was going to behave like a slut he wasn't going to bail me out.

Problem is I'm really REALLY allergic to both alcohol and roofies so I was horribly dehydrated as well as missing medication doses at this point, so I walked in the 100° heat to the ER. I got a sane exam where they found semen, a plan b pill, and a lengthy interview by about a dozen police officers. I couldn't bear to be alone in my apartment after that so I had the cops drop me off at a psych hospital.

I got my meds switched, went home, cleared out my apartment, broke my lease, and went home to my family. I'm safe now. But he's still haunting me. I don't know if I'll ever be okay.

Sorry.

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reagan-the-saunders · 10 months

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My OCs' Phobias

TW: R@pe, Loss.

Scale: Severe - Affects them harshly and easily. Moderate - Affects them noticeably when triggered. Mild - Affects them slightly when triggered.

Viper: Thatanophobia (In her case, the fear of the death of loved ones, severe)

Explanation: Viper endured the loss of the only who ever cared for her, therefore, anyone else close to her is so sacred to her that even the slightest thought of them dying breaks her heart to dust.

What she looks like when triggered: Viper may shed a few tears, but will mostly remain stoic. She may seem emotionless as she stares into the distance, it'll take a few tries to get her attention as she melts on the inside. When she actually loses someone, she'll likely let out an ear-piercing scream to let out what silence cannot.

Vyeshna: Fear of Abandonment. (Couldn't find a name that matched, moderate.)

Explanation: After the Red Year, when she lost everything, her newly found lover is all she has left.

What she looks like when triggered: Vyeshna may randomly dwell on the thought of being abandoned. As these thoughts rush through her head, her leg make shake uncontrollably, she'll fidget with her hair or face, or just act unusually quiet.

Lyrandra: Atelophobia (The fear of making mistakes, moderate.)

Explanation: She failed her sister and refuse to fail anyone else. Her rise through House Telvanni, her friends, her husband, even doesn't matter who it is.

What she looks like when triggered: Lyrandra will become over apologetic and emotional if she believes she's not performing well or has already failed. While her loved ones tend to comfort her and it does help, she usually has an unshakeable feeling of guilt whenever she messes up.

Dimik: Acrophobia (The fear of heights, moderate.)

Explanation: It's just a natural thing she's always had and can't fight it off. (I also think it's a cute addition xD).

What she looks like when triggered: Dimik will likely grab onto the arm of whichever of her friends are closest, Xelzaz, Inigo, Remi, you name it, usually yielding different results depending on who it is.

Kona Dreki: Atelophobia (The fear of making mistakes, severe.)

Explanation: Being created by Akatosh, Kona doesn't really fear anything other than failure. It's not the what Akatosh will do if she fails that scares her, it's her own dignity she wants to protect, and the divinity of Akatosh.

What she looks like when triggered: She'll get severely angry when she fails, tending to stab the ground with her sword before yelling slurs at herself. This only triggers when she fails.

Maevynn: Anthropophobia (The fear of people, mild.)

Explanation: After everything with her family, the reason why she's a pirate, she lost trust in people, finding it hard to be friends with let alone love someone. She usually will betray people based on her fear of them backstabbing her first, not because she outwardly hates them. She doesn't want to distrust people, but she doesn't know how not to. Even though her fear is mild, it still affects her everyday.

What she looks like when triggered: She tends to be silent, eyes flicking around the room with her wits about her, watching everyone's movement. Other than her crew, she doesn't want others nearby who could potentially harm her or those on her ship.

Marina Green: Genophobia (The fear of sexual intimacy, mild.)

Explanation: At a young age, Marina was taken by the Thalmor and assaulted in a multitude of ways. That scared her but she was strong enough to move on... mostly. She doesn't have an outright "fear" per say, as sex is a natural thing but when forced upon someone obviously isn't okay, but it's not something she seeks after that. Thankfully, she trusts her loved ones and her lover isn't into that kind of thing (Cary is seriously the perfect match for her).

#original characters #original character: viper #original character: vyeshna #original character: lyrandra #original character: kona dreki #original character: dimik #original character: maevynn #tesblr #tes #morrowind #skyrim #tes ocs #skyrim ocs #morrowind ocs #nerevarine #dragonborn #original character: marina green

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unhoax · 1 year

Note

TW ED/ Per weight convo: harm reduction is multi faceted. In the choice between “lose weight” or “don’t lose weight” I would like to pose this for you to consider: what stress/pain is easier to tolerate or compartmentalize? I was 200+lbs for many years with an eating disorder (not a binge eating disorder which may be surprising) and I found myself in a similar predicament- I needed to either be okay with being fat or fight it. At that point in my life I found it was easier/more holistic on my mental health to try to learn to be ok with being fat. My intuition knew that the way society interfaces fat people is not too dissimilar from any other marginalized or “less savory” group of people- you mentioned skinny people may actually just be better people but would you make that argument around racism? That because white people get treated better black people and other POC may actually just be worse people? I’m hoping you don’t/wouldn’t feel that way, but if you do agree with the latter statement then maybe addressing your beliefs is the first step before making any changes. Internalized fat phobia is as real as internalized racism, misogyny, etc. Long story longer, I focused on changing my brain. I actively rejected the opinions of people that were anything less than loving and supportive and. As exhausting as it was, I began laying the ground work for not needing external validation. My brain said I couldn’t wear something because I was fat? I wore it anyway. I actively stared at myself in the mirror and said only nice things, when a hurtful thing came out of my mouth I would correct myself out loud to myself and apologize. I only followed HAPPY and shameless fat people on social media, I unfollowed anybody that triggered my desire to be skinny. I went to the Emily Program and got lots of therapy too. I focused on making my internal brain space the safest and most loving place so that when the inevitable bullshit of people came knocking at the door, I didn’t automatically believe them. This is HARD work (and a continuous practice!) but it’s also so rewarding because not only do other people’s opinions stop mattering but the self’s opinion of self improves and matters the most. The craziest thing is I lost weight naturally over this process. I started eating more intuitively, I found ways to enjoy working out my body (Yoga with Adrienne is free on YOUTUBE and she’s amazing!) and in general all my focus was on feeling peace and loving myself- REGARDLESS OF HOW MY BODY LOOKED. the more those practices were practiced and took root the more my body seemed to settle into itself. I’m by no means skinny now, and honestly I LOVE the extra pudge on the bottom of my belly or under my arms, they make me soft like a cuddly bunny, nor is the moral of the story to love yourself so you can lose weight, but the point is there is roots to this struggle and pain: the shame, the insecurity, taking on other peoples opinions, eugenics based trauma (fat phobia impetus in many ways, along with racism) maladaptive coping skills, lack of boundaries, lack of discipline, etc. I also learned so much about the American food system- are you American? There are so many Americans that go abroad and eat more and STILL LOSE WEIGHT while traveling. Our processed food in the states is not our ally.

The point is do the thing that feels like it would empower you: would taking on a weight loss journey be more empowering for you or would detaching from societal paradigms be more empowering? Can you blend the two together and get creative to better support yourself- hell maybe exposure therapy and get fatter? There is no right answer, I would meditate and journal on this for yourself and trust your heart and soul- are you a spiritual person? While I say fuck the church, don’t abandon God if that would be a helpful addition to your self care. what you deserve is to have your own brain on your team. You’re brilliant and more than good enough whether you’re obese or underweight. You’re a blessing. Don’t let yourself be brainwashed further you can fight back and you can find peace and love with your body/ yourself. And only subconsciously or consciously insecure people ever say less than supportive of loving things. If you have loved ones saying things like you shouldn’t wear certain types of clothes, consider setting boundaries or even cutting these people out if they can’t speak kindly. Criticism has a time and a place but good criticism also understands that it is SUBJECTIVE and it sounds like you’re surrounded by a bunch of judgmental dinguses!! I understand how this can make it harder to be kind to yourself but then RUN! Save yourself! Protect yourself! Love yourself! Your body is doing it’s best and it needs your love compassion and support to do or be better. Kicking a misbehaving dog is just abuse. I love you, there is nothing for you to be ashamed about you are a gift you just are in the process of learning to see that and value that in yourself <3

this is very sweet i appreciate u. i more meant that skinny people are treated better and such so its more desirable to be skinny. but most ppl can change how much they weigh, no one can really change their skin color. so no i dont think poc are “worse”, nor are fat ppl. being prejudice is of course bad. everyone is worthy

i just think that actually changing my body might bring me more joy in the long run. but its a mix of it all. the physical and the mental. maybe plastic surgery too? #loveyouself

#ask #long post

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witchwolflea · 1 year

Text

The New Girl

A/N : I'd recommend reading this One shot while listening to 'Rainbow in the dark' by Dio

----------------------------------------------------------

TW : SH, drug use, depression

Your family just moved in in Hawkins Indiana, you're 18 and this is your senior year. You were your old town's freak, and the fact that you were a girl made it even worse. You were considered the towns freak because you were mainly listeing to metal and Rock N'Roll but also because you loved Roleplay games. One day, you saw this magazine about Dungeon and Dragons and you really enjoyed the game's concept, you knew pretty much everything about this game but you had no one to played it with. This year means new resolutions and you decided to be the most "normal" that you could be. It means goodbye to the ripped jeans but also goodbye to the band t-shirts. And you even consider joining the cheerleaders even though you hate what they do. you won't be able to go through another year of bullying, all alone. Your high school years were really hard on you, you went into depression and school phobia and started having sefl harming habits. This year has to be different. You're even gonna hide your tattoos and you dyed your hair back in your h/c which is far different from their previous color which was claret-red.

This is your first day at Hawkins High, you dressed in a plain white, long sleeve t-shirt and a blue jean, and you only did your make up with foundation and mascara. You rush downstair, take your bag, a pancake and rush through the door while screaming "See you tonight !" to your parents. You hear your mom wishing you a good day before sitting on the driver seat of your car. You drive to the school even though you are early, you hope you can find a calm spot in order to hide and smoke your cigarette before heading to class. You park your car on the parking, get out and see a little path in the forest, you take it and arrive to a picnic table, you sit thinking it's a very calm spot for your little pre first day cigarette. You sit down, take your cigarette out and start smoking when you hear leaves scrunching behind you. you jump off of the bench, to see a teenager, or young adult you don't know, with brown curly hair, brown eyes and his clothes are very similar to your former clothes. He raises his hands up to show you he means no harm before speaking.

"I never saw you around"

"I'm new in town" you answer

The boy looks at you with his big brown eyes, you can't help but stare at him, but also admire him for being confident enough to wear the clothes he want, you remember that once, you were like him, but that led you to be in such a dark place that you think it doesn't worth it.

"Then welcome perfect stranger, I'm Eddie Munson !"

You chuckle before answering "I'm Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N"

"Nice to meet you, I actually can't believe you are talking to me, most people would have ran away"

"Why is that ? » you ask

"Because I'm the town's freak" he makes invisble quoting marks with his hands "mean and scary"

"You don't seem mean and scary to me"

"Well thank you, but you shouldn't hang out with me at school, not that I don't like you no, you are pretty and I enjoy talking to you but-"

You cut Eddie's rambling. "I can manage hanging out with the outcast, I actually was an outcast in my old town"

"You don't seem an outcast to me, you seem the most normal person I've ever seen, and it's not an insult at all I promise" Eddie is all flustered and keep rambling.

While you were talking Eddie took a black lunch box out and started rolling a joint.

You look at the ground, ashamed before answering "Not really..."

"You don't have to feel ashamed. I promise to help you be yourself" Eddie lit up his joint, you look at the joint tempted before Eddie asks you "Wanna share it with me ?"

"Before I share it with you I need you to say it out loud, please"

"Yes I want to share it with you"

Eddie hands you the joint and you take a few hits before handing it back to him. You look at your watch before cursing "shit ! Eddie we're gonna be late !"

Eddie shrugs but then he sees the panic in your eyes and takes his stuff leading you to the high school.

You chuckle slightly before answering "thank you Eddie". Gosh you find this boy really sweet but also insanely attractive, but of course you keep your thoughts to yourself.

"What are you doing still here, you're gonna be late."

"I wasn't going to let you get lost in the maze that is Hawkins high, plus I don't care about being late"

"Thank you, I'm going to my locker and then to my first class"

Eddie snatches your timetable from your hands and look at you, grinning.

"We are together almost all morning !" he seems very excited at the idea of spending the morning with you and deep down you are too. You are also relieved.

"Sounds amazing" you answer

You look at him in disbelief because of what he just called you, but you're scared of him, you knew people like that at your old school, one of them used to hit you every single day, you start to shake.

Eddie is sitting at his table with his friends from Hellfire. Gareth, Jeff, Dustin and Mike all look at the scene happening a few meters away which is your interaction with Jason when Gareth says.

"Look at the new girl already being seduced by the King of Hawkins high"

At those few words, Eddie raise his head from his plate and look at the exchange between you and Jason, he can sense that something is off but before he can say anything Dustin speak up.

"Why does she look so uncomfortable ?"

Eddie gets up on the table and scream "YN, you can come sit here if you want"

The whole cafeteria look at you and then Eddie in disbelief and Jason look at you with a glare saying 'don't you dare sit with him'. Before you could say anything Jason turns to Eddie and says "Want somethin' freak ?". The nickname make you wince and you get out of the cafetaria, running, with teary eyes. You run until you arrive at the picnic table you were sat on this morning.