#what's the john mulaney quote

[tosahobi-if]

I stole this from another blog How resistant are the ROs to the MC’s pleading/puppy dog eyes?

jinwol definitely caves internally, not so much externally. he'll say no up front and then end up doing whatever they want later anyway – his weak spot is the mc and he knows it. plus they're asking so nicely, and he'll feel bad and

yul has zero resistance! none! you can even ask normally. you don't even have to ask! but hey, they're not complaining if you are going to give them puppy dog eyes. after all, their senior is acting all cute 😊 they're going to try and sear this image into their retinas 😊

iseul is not falling for it. she deals with the emei orphans all the time and she knows manipulation when she sees it. okay, okay, stop looking at her like that. she's not going to do it. she's not. she's NOT. (fine, she'll reach a compromise.)

??? you'd have better luck petitioning a brick wall. you can't outdo the doer, after all. i think they'd find the attempt amusing (if not endearing) but they wouldn't be very phased by it.

#anon #ro: jinwol #ro: yul #ro: iseul #ro: ??? #what's the john mulaney quote #moral backbone of an eclair #that's them

[iguessthisisanewobsession]

*Look at that one ghost pregnancy carving meme*

Sure, they're normal pregnancy carving... And then they're weird ones. Like, yes, he can't eat a batarang, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want to.

Have a little crack I guess! Also bonus point if it's angst for the others batfam members

Angst, you say?

Jason came out of a daze to the sound of broken glass.

Why was he in Tim’s room? He remembers getting up to look in the kitchen. Nothing was appealing at the moment but he was hungry and Dr. Leslie mentioned he was a little below weight.

He was looking and nothing was appealing but then he felt a pull and-

“Jason, what the fuck.”

Tim looked disheveled, clearly back from his patrol.

Why was he freaking out? Sure, Tim finding him here was strange but-

Jason was suddenly aware of something papery in his mouth.

“Wha-?”

“Jason why?”

Tim looked like he had shot him, and as Jason looked around him he realized that he may as well.

Around him laid a shredded old box.

Tim’s old photo box.

He remembers when he was first reached out to his family again after the mess of reintroduction.

The olive branch Tim held out to him. The night they sat in the lounge as Tim shyly showed him the years of photos. They were up until dawn reminiscing. It was the first time he started to think of the two of them as brothers.

They weren’t all ruined but quite a few had obvious teeth marks and tears.

Shit.

“I-I don’t- fuck! Baby bird I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember..”

Jason raised a frustrated palm to his eyes at tears started to pool.

Fuck, Tim was shutting down.

“It’s- it’s fine, I was in the middle of digitizing the photos anyways. Never know what will happen, you know?”

Jason removed the photo from his mouth and tried to flatten it out what was left. It was one of the one’d around his debut as Robin, sitting on a gargoyle under a moonlit sky.

Jason gently got off his knees with a wobble before he gently took his brother into his arms.

“I-I already got most of them taken care of.. It’s fine.. you didn’t- the baby been doing a lot of strange things to you. You nearly bit a batarang last week- it’s not- something like this was bound to happen and-“

Tim made a keening he folded himself into Jason’s side.

Looking around at the carnage as Jason tried his best to comfort his brother as he wailed.

“This shouldn’t’ve happened. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

He muttered as he rubbed up and down Tim’s back.

“Okay… Okay.. How about we go downstairs huh? We can go downstairs, and I’ll make us some hot chocolate ‘n’ we can put on one of those shitty b-rated horror movies we love to roast.”

Avoiding what Jason could only assume was a cup of coffee on the floor, he closed the door and gently guided his little brother down the hall.

Tags for hoodlums:

@numbuh-7-knd @phoenixdemonqueen @thegatorsgoose @storm-and-fire @elvesandlanterns @moedango @skulld3mort-1fan @apointlessbox @samgirl98 @thedragonqueen1998 @booberrylizard @idek618 @littlefeather345 @iosonotoro @dxrksong @moonfirearc @terzatheunderscorerima @moedango

#Jason after he gets Dick to clean up the mess in Tim’s room has a mental freak out once Tim is settled to sleep #he feels so guilty #he ends up badgering clockwork to help him get copies of all the originals #dp x dc #writing prompt #dc x dp #jason todd #dick grayson #tim drake #mother hood au #you asked for angst #if you hadn’t I would’ve shit posted #me: hmm what would be heart wrenching and hard to replace? #originally I was going to have Jason eat Damian’s art supplies #but then a old john mulaney quote came to me #it’s the one thing you can’t replace #my asks #mpreg

[nightswatchdisbandmentera]

House Stark as Nene Leakes Memes

Ned

Catelyn

Robb

Jon

Sansa

Arya

Bran

Rickon

Bonus - Theon

#a nice lil jokey joke for the dash shjsnsbbs #but this was also fact checked by george rorge rorge martin himself #asoiaf #jon snow #bran stark #arya stark #robb stark #rickon stark #sansa stark #theon greyjoy #eddard stark #catelyn tully #house stark #bran is tripping balls on jojenpaste #jon is getting to the wall and going ew what up will all them people they stink #inspired by the very iconic house stark as john mulaney quotes post

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

Sollux: iin hiigh 2chool people were liike, “what are your top three college2?” and ii was liike, “top three college2? ii thought ii would be dead iin a trunk wiith my hand hanging out of the taiiliight by now”

#submission #source: john mulaney #homestuck #incorrect homestuck quotes #sollux captor #mod terezi #i wonder if john mulaney knows what homestuck is

[weregonnabecoolbeans]

Absolutely nothing could have prepared me for this sentence.

#anakin what the fuck #to quote john mulaney…now we don’t have time to unpack ALL of that #thrawn #thrawn: alliances #thrawn: alliances by timothy zahn #star wars #star wars novels #darth vader #anakin skywalker #grand admiral thrawn #thrawn: alliances spoilers #kate's post

[puzzled-pegasus]

Finches as John Mulaney quotes

Here I am again, finally gracing this fandom with my cursed sense of humor once more >:)

Here's some John Mulaney quotes which I thought fit each of the Finches! Let me know if you have any!

Edith:

"And then my mom said, 'I made a salad with Craisins! And the conversation ended."

"I am very small. And I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under."

Milton

"I always expected to be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out the tail light by now!"

"Oh and what a mighty king I will be, eating dinner at 4:45 in the afternoon!"

"My lands stretch across this entire one bedroom!"

Lewis

"I'm probably gay based on the way I act and behave and…I've walked and talked for [21] years."

"

Dawn

"One black coffee"

"Okay so, when you get kidnapped--not if, when– "

"The bread of bread is bread…"

Gus

"You know when you're twelve, when you're like 'no one look at me or I'll kill myself!"

"Thirteen year olds are the meanest people in the world."

Gregory

"One feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! And when one feels like a duck, one is happy!"

Kay (bonus)

"This is an on-fire garbage can….could be a nursery."

Sam

"None of us really know our fathers."

"Is he nice? NOOOO!"

"Brush your teeth! Now, BOOM, orange juice--that's life."

Calvin

"I always thought that uh, quicksand, was going to be a much bigger problem than it turned out to be."

"Tonight Is The Night, and How We Only Have Tonight."

Walter

"My vibe is more like 'hey, you could pour soup in my lap and I'll probably apologize to you!"

"Think about that for ten seconds and tell me you don't want to walk into the ocean."

"I look like I was just sitting in a room on a chair eating saltines for like, 28 years."

"I didn't drink water the ENTIRE time."

Barbara

"Do My Friends Hate Me, Or Do I Just Need To Go To Sleep?"

*wacks hookman killer in the head with the crutch* "Now I've thrown him off his rhythm!"

Molly

"McDonald's! McDonald's! McDonald's!"

"Was there ever even a ghost, mother, or was the little girl you saw just mE all along??"

"My parents loved us, they just didn't like us."

Edie

"You have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair."

"Beat it, bozo!"

Sven

"My wife is a b**ch and I like her SO. Much."

"I just like old fashioned things."

#what remains of edith finch #wroef #characters as john mulaney quotes #also #there's a KRAKEN loose on a BOAT #lol

[callsign-daydream]

Bob: Phoenix is cold-blooded. She once shushed a kid during Lion King on Broadway. That actually happened. We were at Lion King on Broadway, and there was a five-year-old behind us going, ‘Look, it’s Pumbaa! Look, it’s Timon!’ And Fee turned around and said, 'Are you going to talk the entire time?’ She’s my hero.

#top gun maverick #top gun incorrect quotes #original: john mulaney #robert bob floyd #natasha phoenix trace #fee says what we all want to say #i want her to simultaneously be my best friend and also slap the stupid out of me

[cas-coding]

dean: when i was younger, my dad would drag us around on these monster-killing trips

dean: although they weren’t called “monster-killing” trips, they were called hunting vacations

dean: uhm, we mainly hunted one thing

literally anyone: …

dean: not a lot of spare venison lying around, if you know what i mean,,

#source: john mulaney #this is 10x funnier if you read it in mulaney’s voice #supernatural #spn #incorrect spn quotes #incorrect supernatural quotes #dean winchester #if you’re this far down in the tags and wondering #this is part of the king solomon bit #uh we mainly studied one religion #not a lot of hinduism if you know what i mean

[moonfromearth]

Everyone when a new world comes out:

#ignore me #i have been possessed by the need to share m e m e #there were too many john mulaney quotes on my pinterest feed what else was i supposed to do with them?? #sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 memes #ts4 meme #simblr

[leonardcohenofficial]

seeing someone who enjoys going to clubs and parties has been legitimately cool in that i’ve gotten to experience lots of new music and different social/cultural spaces (especially those around afro/house music and dance which i’ve found i really like) but i am also thus in the period of reckoning with my deep double earth sign homebody-ness and normal refusal to leave the house past 8PM 

#not to quote john mulaney in this year of our lord 2022 but even though i enjoy myself every time the build up is; you want me to do /what/ #:) has been a generally positive influence overall which i very much appreciate but the taurus and capricorn sun and rising respectively are #always like consider. what if. i didn't have to go outside. and then i go out and have a good time regardless!!!!!! but it's the same #cycle every time sjdklfsdjkfl

[darkdakota8998]

LET THE BOY HAVE HIGH WAISTED PANTS

this was supposed to be perspective practice but per usual I can’t draw perspective

#leg with piercings what will he do #kill someone probably #Kota’s Kontent #linkeduniverse #linked universe #linkeduniverse au #linked universe au #Lu #Lu au #lu art #linkeduniverse art #linked universe art #linkeduniverse legend #linked universe legend #lu legend #insert that one John mulaney quote here #LOOK AT THAT HIGH WAISTED MAN HE GOT FEMININE HIPS

[libartz]

Anders: No but think about it. Was there an insurrection *before* I was locked in solitary? No. Has there been one since I got out of solitary? No! They wouldn’t dare, now that Baby A is back on the scene!

#lil talks #idk what insurrection happened when Anders was in solitary but #this quote just fit him #awakening anders probably #anders #dragon age #this is from the new john mulaney tour #and how he was in rehab during the jan 6 thing

[littlelolittleill]

I know people are discussing the whole Ned try guys thing and linking men who gush about the love they have with their wives with cheating and I also know people are discussing that you can’t necessarily link the two but I do wonder this, when an influencer or comedian or entertainer makes loving their spouse an aspect of their job/public personality, how genuine is that? Like when does that stop being an honest aspect of the relationship instead of an act for revenue?

I don’t believe there’s a link between regular, not famous individuals who are openly appreciative and loving of their partners and cheating BUT I do wonder if there is a link between public figures/celebrities making that appreciation a part of their job for money, for brand deals, for public recognition/praise AND cheating. Like when you have to perform your love as an act where is the line? When is it actually an honest, authentic part of yourself and when does it become a routine to land brand deals? I wonder if that might be the connection between cheating, when individuals who choose to perform their feelings for their partner for cash are not being actually genuine because they are faking it for money? Or at least maybe it was genuine but they can’t stop putting on the act when their feelings do change in case they lose deals.

I’m not trying to be sympathetic I’m just trying to understand this pattern of celebrities who praise their partners and cheating.

#anyways I know correlation does not equal causation #but I do wonder about this pattern in this particular context #and I could be wrong but it feels off to me #that this is not the only case #where a celebrity #quote unquote #has cheated on or left their partner #despite praising them openly and unprompted in public #like with Ali Wong #or John Mulaney #although I really despise him #and Ned from try guys #THE FACT THAT THEY CHANGED #THE TRY GUYS INSTA PROFILE PIC #TO A TRICERATOPS #IS FUCKING FUNNY TO ME #WHAT AN UNSUBTLE #FUCK YOU #LMAOOO #thoughts #mine

[puzzled-pegasus]

Dawn, holding up a glass bottle: Hey, is this whiskey, or perfume?

Lewis, high: *takes the bottle and drinks its entire contents*

Lewis: It's perfume.

Dawn:.....

#what remains of edith finch #wroef #incorrect quotes #john mulaney

[maedre13]

started watching Moon Knight and my synopsis for the first 11 minutes is just "local egypt enthusiast should just go the fuck to sleep"

#i mean what's the WORST that could happen #famous last words I just know it #to quote John Mulaney #I'm awake late at night facing the important question: do all my friends hate me or should I just go to sleep? #moon knight #maedre13

[yagurliz]

Let’s have a show of hands: how many people growing up were called a crybaby for breaking down at a minor inconvenience only to later find out they had bipolar? 🤚🏻

#crybaby #bipolar #my siblings called me that constantly #when i got my diagnoses everything clicked #don’t judge kids they have zero clue what is going on in their brain #to quote john mulaney their brain has never been smaller #kids have it unfair still #parents should listen to their kids #if mine had i would have had my emotions regulated better from a young age