#which is dean specifically mention a gay couple

[sapphyreopal5]

I’ve noticed a lot of the fandom attacking Jensen all because a character on the show 9-1-1 was revealed to be bisexual and people are saying that’s Jensen’s a coward and a homophobe which I don’t believe because he was willing to do a sex scene with Tony Starr before they changed the storyline, but Jensen’s homophobic because he didn’t want his canonically straight character to kiss Mr. Chapped Lips? How does that make sense? I was just curious if you had an opinion about this

Hello Anon, thank you for the ask :) Mr. Chapped Lips, HA love it! People have been calling Jensen homophobic for years now unfortunately. This clip from Asylum 3 back in 2009 shows him saying "You know, I would say yes, but then Brokeback Mountain came out, and my desire to do a cowboy film completely tanked" when someone asked if he'd like to do a cowboy movie. In 2013, he also essentially stated in this clip he's going to pretend he doesn't know what the question was when someone was asking a question (partially asked, mind you) starting with "I love your character becoming more comfortable with himself this season. I'm bisexual and I have noticed some possible subtext that you might be..." to which he started off with saying "I'm thoroughly confused" and essentially shoos off the question... It is possible this Jensen receipts Twitter account is a Destiel account (seems to me it is) but the clips do show what was said at different conventions to show you why people believe Jensen Ackles is homophobic.

Of course, us logical people who DID watch the show know it is NOT canon for Dean to be homosexual at all. Why Misha calls it a love confession, pandering to the loud members of the Destiel shippers crowd is 'cause $$$ I found the above GIFs from this post here but thought I'd have the GIFs on here for VISUAL purposes, so these people can have a direct point of reference staring them right in the face. The episodes in question that post mentions where Dean specifically says he's straight in his own quirky ways are Croatoan (Season 2, Episode 9), Jus in Bello (Season 3, Episode 12), and Live Free or Twihard (Season 6, Episode 5). Of course, I don't agree with the original poster this was merely because he was "in danger" and stressed out from it. He likely went with the gay couple scenario with Sam in Bugs (Season 1, Episode 8) as to not "cause waves" with potentially buying a house keep attention elsewhere as far as not looking suspicious with investigating.

As far as the said scene he was going to do with Antony Starr prior to the changing of the story line, I am assuming it is this you're talking about that is in the original comics. I see the show changed it so that Homelander is in fact Soldier Boy's son, which makes sense as to why he refused to do the scene. Instead, we got the "Herogasm" episode in season 3. Now as for why the script changed from the original comics to this episode, I don't know.

My overall opinion is, Jensen is probably tired of people talking about Destiel. It's not canon to the show period. Also, do people realize what phobes are? Genuine yet extreme fears. It is one thing to not like something or to have prejudices or discriminate against something, but it's another to fear it. To differentiate between these things, I am linking this website here and also copy and pasted the chart included in it for visual references. To discriminate is to deny rights, privileges and opportunities to members of a particular group. To have prejudice against something is to have an unfair and unreasonable feeling or opinion of something often formed without enough knowledge or thought. Having a phobia means to have an extreme, irrational, fear of something that may cause a person to panic and is described as being a type of anxiety disorder. Now, does Jensen actively fear or straight up avoid gay people or Destiel fans? No. He has still signed things or taken photographs with Destiel fans over the years, despite saying Destiel doesn't exist multiple times. Maybe not with the biggest smile in the world about it but he has not denied taking photos with any of them or complained hardcore about it.

I said in another post it's possible Jensen is not straight but is bi leaning more towards women. However, I do not believe he will act upon this as far as being in a relationship with anyone who isn't a woman (despite the fact he's still currently married to Elta). As far as a recent clip I saw floating around somewhere that a Destiel fan was told they couldn't ask their question about Destiel (despite Misha saying they can ask), I say that this causes unnecessary controversy and that Creation wants to keep things pleasant for everyone. Destiel fans are straight up too aggressive and pushy about making their ship canon and reality for several years now, despite Jensen and others saying no it isn't. If Jensen were to kiss any man, it honestly would not be Misha. Sorry not sorry here...

Thanks for the ask Anon.

#anti destiel #anti hellers #anti jensen hate

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, let’s talk Taskmaster. Season 16 must get a release date soon, and it’s a really exciting lineup. I’m mainly excited for Sue Perkins (as I think most people on this site are) and Sam Campell (as I think most comedians are, based on the way every Taskmaster podcast guest who’s been asked for their thoughts on the lineup immediately gravitate to Campbell as the most exciting one). But I think Lucy Beaumont’s comedy persona might be an absolutely perfect fit for Taskmaster, the more I think about it the more I think she’s tailor-made to be hilarious in that format. The other two I know less well, even though I realize Julian Cleary is very very famous, I’m afraid “camp, gay, rude” are the extent of the words I can associate with him. I’m sure he’ll be fun though. And Susan Wokoma was good when she played that role in Crazyhead, which was a fun show, but I’ve not seen her do anything else and watching her act out someone else’s script doesn’t really tell me what she’ll be like on a panel show.

We don’t even have an exact start date yet (got to be soon, though), so I hate to bypass that already and start talking season 17… but I’m going to start talking season 17. For the last couple of seasons I saw definite spoilers of the lineup weeks before the announcement, and I avoided mentioning them on Tumblr, because I guess it’s not great to draw attention to stuff like that, even though I really wanted to talk about it I held off until the announcement. If I see spoilers early again this year, I will similarly pretend they didn’t exist in all my public posts until they’re officially announced.

However, that doesn’t mean I can’t speculate, before any spoilers appear. So that’s what this post is. Not any leaks of official stuff, just speculation based on publicly available information. But some people want to be entirely surprised by the lineup, so I’ll put a cut here just in case. Don’t click on this link unless you want to see… not definite names for the next Taskmaster, but educated guesses. With the warning that in previous seasons, educated guesses made with similar evidence to this have turned out to be correct, according to the ones I’ve seen, approximately 75% of the time.

The main evidence people use for this stuff is gaps in schedules, and the more specific the gap, the more likely. If someone isn’t performing during the whole month that the studio records are happening, then they might be in it, but it’s not all that likely (on the other hand, if someone is performing the night of a studio record, you can rule them out entirely). If someone is performing around that time but has the nights of every studio record free, then it’s more likely. Other stuff gets used as well, like social media posts. In season 12, there was a lovely bit of detective work where some people predicted 4 out of 5 people on the lineup by working out who’s recently added who on social media (because those people met each other through the show and then followed each other online – if you think about it, season 12 did have a pretty disparate group of people who mostly were not already social media friends). But as far as I can tell, suspiciously specific gaps in a performance schedule are the most reliable way to guess.

They’ve recently announced the season 17 recording dates as September 25-29. Here is some information I’ve collected from the Taskmaster subreddit, where a bunch of people did the work of looking things up so I don’t have to. Basically, the only point to me making this list is it collates the information in that that thread, which is a bit easier than reading it post-by-post. Here’s who they’ve ruled out, by finding that these people have shows that clash with the recording dates:

- Tom Allen

- Chloe Petts

- Amy Gledhill

- Rhys James

- Ed Byrne

- Ria Lina

- Tom Davis

- Larry Dean

- Kiri Pritchard-McLean

- Jack Whitehall

- Richard Ayoade

And here’s who they’ve found have that week free:

- Sarah Keyworth

- Catherine Bohart

- Maisie Adam

- Bill Bailey

- Suzi Ruffell

- Harriet Kemsley

- Daniel Sloss

- Miles Jupp

- Bec Hill

- Jason Manford

- Kevin Bridges

- John Robins

Having that week free doesn’t mean all that much, it’s worth noting. Especially since, annoyingly, the filming takes place right after the Edinburgh Festival. A lot of comedians take a bit of time off right after Edinburgh, so most of them wouldn’t be on tour anyway. But it at least leaves the possibility open. Having said that, here are some people who didn’t come up in the Reddit thread, but I’ve ruled them out through looking them up myself:

- Isy Suttie

- Shaparak Khorsandi

- Michael Legge

- Alasdair Beckett-King

- Josie Long

- Simon Amstell

- Jen Brister

- Jimmy Carr (to be clear, I was happy to rule that one out)

And here are some people I looked up myself and they were not ruled out:

- Ahir Shah

- David O’Doherty

- Andy Zaltzman

- Alice Fraser (yes I realize she lives in Australia, but she spends like half her time in the UK for work anyway, and if Sam Campbell can do it…)

- Chris Addison

- Jessica Fostekew

- Huge Davies

- Stewart Lee (I mean, it seems incredibly unlikely, but according to some very reputable tabloids Stewart Lee’s been doing a number of things I’d not have expected from him lately, so many he’s changed his policy on panel shows too)

- Paul Foot

- Susie McCabe

Now, on to a couple of specifics. First of all, here’s the big name that at this point is a relatively heavy spoiler: John Robins looks very likely. He doesn’t just have that week free. He had gigs on a couple of those recording nights, and then he canceled them. Which isn’t a guarantee, but it makes it very likely. About as likely as a piece of speculation can be in the absence of actual information.

I am fucking excited about this. I just read the news about John Robins canceling those gigs earlier today, and it has already gotten me so excited about it that at this point I’ll be very fucking disappointed if it turns out he’s not on the season. So I need this, Taskmaster, my hopes are up now. Give me John Robins. Give me John Robins in all his fucked up wildly competitive self-loathing glory. And yes, I hear he might be doing a bit better these days, and that is unequivocally a good thing, I’m very pleased for him (I also hear his Edinburgh show this year was excellent, both objectively good and the specific sort of thing I love in comedy, I really hope he records and releases it at some point). But also, I’m sure we can still get some of the solidly self-loathing and emotionally unstable John Robins we know from his previous stand-up shows. Just a little bit of emotional instability, as a treat. In a man whom I hope has got his shit together and is less miserable overall.

I was going to start writing about why I specifically want John Robins on Taskmaster so much, but then I remembered I already wrote some of that down in a post earlier this year. I dug up that post instead of writing it all again - it's from March 2023 - here's some stuff I said there:

I mentioned recently that I think it would be cool to see John Robins on Taskmaster, because among other things, we haven’t had enough of the properly self-loathing comedians on there. By coincidence, today I was reading something on a different site that discussed potential future Taskmaster contestants, and I saw something that made 100% sure I want him on there. It was someone saying his pedantry and competitiveness might annoy everyone, and someone else saying he would definitely ruin the show, with his tendency to not let a single thing go, and be too serious about it.

...

I’ve recently heard John Robins’ stand-up shows from 2014, 2015, 2016, and the big award winning Darkness of Robins one from 2018. I really liked all of them, especially that last one (understandably, I think, that’s why it won the awards). This makes me think I could maybe really love his radio work with Ellis James, but the problem with that is my brain has difficulty getting into a bit of something but not starting from the beginning and hearing/seeing/reading all of it, and I’m pretty sure there are about 15,000 hours of Ellis James and John Robins on the radio. So John Robins is a dangerous entity for me, I really like him but if I get too into him it could lead to me losing 15,000 hours of my life. However, I somewhat recently read a negative opinion on his stand-up. Someone who said they liked him on the radio, where he seemed like a nice and upbeat guy, so they checked out his stand-up, and were disappointed that that was quite a bit darker and less nice than his radio stuff. That comment made me think I’d probably still enjoy his radio shows, but I’m not missing out on the best parts of him by not getting into that.

...

I just really want to see John Robins ruin Taskmaster with his pedantry and competitiveness that would annoy everyone, with his tendency to not let a single thing go. Come on, Alex. Cast your angry fucked up golf buddy. I didn’t get really into following comedy to see people’s palatable sides. …I do realize this might be, like, problematic. It’s not ideal to specifically want to see comedians who will do damaging things due to some psychological problem. I’m very pleased for Jon Richardson that he got married and had a child and went to therapy and worked some stuff out, and I at times feel genuinely guilty that I preferred him before all that. Because the idea that people should suffer for art is a bad one. It’s a better world, now that Jon Richardson is happy. But I still want to see if John Robins can equal the James Acaster level of self-loathing destructive fury on Taskmaster, maybe break a camera with a golf club.

So I really hope that one pans out. I hope John Robins films his 2023 Edinburgh show, gives us a good solid run of wild over-competitiveness borne of deep bitterness and anger on Taskmaster, and then rides off into the sunset to be happy and healthy and emotionally mature for the rest of his life. Let him have that eventually, just give me his Taskmaster performance first.

I realize I said a few paragraphs ago that canceled gigs on the filming dates are as good as a guarantee. I need to amend that a bit, because times have (slightly) changed since I wrote that. While I’ve been writing this post, someone sent me the information that Alfie Brown has just canceled gigs on the Taskmaster filming dates. And that… that has me hoping that canceled dates aren’t a guarantee, even though that might mean no John Robins.

For those who don’t know, Alfie Brown is a comedian who was the subject of some controversy earlier this year. I actually quite liked him before that. He has a special on that Soho Theatre Live thing on Amazon Prime, called Sensitive Man, which I enjoyed. He has a couple of specials on YouTube, which are funny. And I’ve also heard a couple of other recent things he’s done. And I liked it. I didn’t like all of it. I found some of his material a little over the line. He’s dark and bitter and fucked up – which I’ve just established is something I like in a comedian. But then earlier in 2023, there was a reminder that there is a good reason why “fucked up” is often considered a bad thing. Turns out there’s a thin line between “expresses taboo emotions like bitterness and admits to less-than-savoury thoughts and actions”, and “terrible person”. A thin line. And basically, I liked Alfie Brown when I thought he was on the good side of it. Then some stuff came out about how he’s on the bad side of it.

There was a whole barrage of resurfaced clips, a couple of which I do know the context for, and actually, I think they are okay in context. There was one particularly bad one that he did apologize for when it came up this year, it was from 2015 – not ancient but old enough for it to be fair if he claims he’s a different type of person now, and he didn’t stand by it. To be honest, I was ready to forgive that one, due to the apology. Until I looked more closely and saw just how big a pattern it was, and for so long. Also, there were a couple of stories about him being a dick offstage, particularly to London Hughes, a black comedian who tried to tell him his racist routine was racist, and he told her he didn’t care, as far as I’m concerned, that makes it a lot worse. It’s worse to be told you’re being racist and be racist anyway, than to do it possibly out of ignorance. Also, I learned that one of the routines was about how all adult men want to fuck teenage girls, which would be horrifying enough even if he hadn’t built a whole lot of his career around stories of his toxic mess of an off-and-on relationship with comedian Jessie Cave (also she was Lavender Brown in Harry Potter), who has talked before about how she was raped as a teenager by an adult man.

So… those are the cliff notes. Also he’s the son of comedian Jan Ravens and that guy who played Glen Ponder in Knowing Me Knowing You with Alan Partridge. Fun fact. It was a weird fucking story when it came out earlier this year, and I avoided posting about it much, though I think I mentioned it a couple of times. It’s not great. The whole thing’s not great. But it is possible that Taskmaster season 17 may have been cast before that stuff came out.

I don’t think Alfie Brown is on Taskmaster season 17. Even if they cast it before his “cancelation” in March (maybe February? Around that time) 2023, I think they filmed the tasks in the spring/summer, so they’d have had time to recast the season before filming it. When this happened, lots of venues canceled their Alfie Brown gigs, saying they didn’t want to support a comedian like that. I can’t imagine Taskmaster would have stuck by him. I think if they had cast him, they’d have fired him and recast his spot in March. That’s what I really, really hope, anyway. But I’m still writing about the possibility, because like I said, canceled gigs on those specific nights do seem like almost a guarantee.

If only one of those two comedians with cancelled gigs is on there, then there are lots of reasons why it’s more likely to be John Robins. John Robins has the relationship with Alex, doing that golfing show. John Robins did not get roundly canceled earlier this year, leading to him probably getting fired from any TV spots that may have been in the pipeline too. John Robins doesn’t seem to have non-Taskmaster-related reasons for canceling those gigs, while Alfie Brown’s venue spots are precarious at this point, it’s quite possible that the venue just decided they no longer want the controversy of hosting him. So I’m going to really, really hope all those reasons mean we get John Robins but not Alfie Brown.

Okay, there’s one other thing I have to mention. It’s still very, very unlikely. But it’s technically possible, more possible than it’s ever been before or likely will be again. And if I don’t mention it and then it happens, I’ll be really annoyed with myself for not pointing out the possibility.

…John Oliver’s got a gap that’s almost exactly the size of those recording sessions. It’s not just that he’s free for all of September. He’s doing this stand-up tour up until the week before those recording sessions start, and then picking it up again just after.

I first learned this from @lastweeksshirttonight ’s post earlier today, and my first thought was – it can’t be. Someone would have noticed. He’s world famous, there are people out there who know where John Oliver is all the time, in the age of social media you can’t just be a big celebrity in America who goes to a whole different country without people noticing.

But then, my helpful friend @lastweeksshirttonight informed me that there was talk on non-Tumblr social media that while he was visible on the picket lines for a long time, he was notably absent from them for a stretch near the beginning of the strike. Which means it is possible that he was away filming tasks at that point. And I thought that surely, if John Oliver were walking around England, someone would have taken a picture and put it on Twitter. But maybe not. He’s not as famous over there, and he could have filmed the tasks in just a few days, been in and out without much time to be seen in public. And the British tabloids have more important people to follow around, like Stewart Lee and women who are half Stewart Lee’s age.

John Oliver has been described, by himself and by many who know him, for many years, as a workaholic. No one was surprised when he announced this stand-up tour during the strike, even though he cannot possibly need the money, because he’s always described as a person who will constantly take work if it’s out there. The writer’s strike is still on. He can’t do American TV. He has to be doing something. John Oliver allegedly has to be doing at least eight projects at all times, and this stand-up tour is only one.

I Googled whether it would break strike rules, and I don’t think so. At first I thought it was okay since it wasn’t an American production, but then I did find something that said:

No, you cannot write for a non-signatory foreign producer. Guild Working Rule 8 prohibits members from working for non-signatory companies. This rule applies at all times but is particularly important during the strike because of the potential that a non-signatory producer could be used as a subterfuge to have work performed for a struck company. During the strike, all Canadian waiver agreements are terminated, and therefore you are not permitted to continue writing on such projects during the strike.

So that doesn't look great. But what I didn't find on that page was anything that prohibited non-writing work. John Oliver wouldn't be writing for Taskmaster. Obviously he's not prohibited from working at all, he's doing the stand-up tour. I think he might be fine for Taskmaster as long as he doesn't, you know, write the autocues.

And we know he knows Alex Horne. We know he's had recent contact with Alex Horne, to make the Horne Section TV show. We know he's willing to appear in Alex Horne projects, like the Horne Section TV show.

I've written before about how maybe John Oliver will be on Taskmaster, and I've always been joking. Completely joking, like when I say my dream Taskmaster lineup is Daniel Kitson/Demitri Martin/John Oliver/David O'Doherty/Adam Hills so we can have a task where they destroy the Taskmaster cow live on stage and we find out who's really the best at that twenty years on (it is quite important that people know about Cowgate for that one, that there is at least some context for why my dream Taskmaster lineup, even one I say as a joke, would be five white cis het men). But right now, for the first time, seeing that Taskmaster-sized gap in his schedule... it looks maybe technically possible. Slightly more likely than the full Cowgate lineup, anyway. Obviously, it would be the dream.

All right, that's what we've got so far. Let me know if anyone else has thoughts/speculation/people I've missed who are or aren't free on the relevant nights.

[payphoneangel]

HEHEHE 4 & 5 for Sam, 9 & 10 for Dean, and 14, 15, & 18 for Cas >:3c

Send me a character + a number and I’ll tell you my headcanons for them

DOHOHOHOH OKAY HELL YEAH

Sam (given the nature of these two i'm gonna b a little horny abt it lol) 4) Best places to kiss on their body: uhhhh first and foremost his cute lil pointy nose!! give that bad boy a hearty ~chu~ But if the kisser wants to really feel how they're affecting him I would say go along the jawline. He carries a lot of tension in his jaw and it would be fun to feel how that tension lessens/intensifies by being smooched. (Spicy version) I think starting at the hip and kissing down the V of his abdomen would be fun for all parties involved. 5) Guilty pleasures: Now this one is very fun bc has his whole obsession with purity and being 'clean' so there's a lot of things he doesn't allow himself to do. I def think one of his guilty pleasures is that he likes Chick fil a. He knows they're a super shitty homophobic corporation and he KNOWS he shouldn't support them AND a lot of the food on the menu is 'unhealthy' and something he can't eat bc of [insert w/e diet he's on this week] but he loves it. OH, how he loves it. It's his comfort food. He likes their special sauce and even when he tries to make it himself it never quite tastes right so he will occasionally buy food from there and then feel awful about it for like 3 days afterward. (Spicy version (warning for mentions of SA)) Ok so I think Sam has a lot of weird hangups about sex. Particularly, he feels weird about subbing. I do think he enjoys it, but where the guilt comes in is that he doesn't feel like he should enjoy it because of the ways in which his bodily autonomy has been jeopardized. It feels very strange to him to derive pleasure from a situation that resembles a context in which the circumstances were very dire for him. I think it's scary for him to give up that sense of control, but even scarier that he actually enjoys it. Since Sam has been known to diminish and trivialize his own trauma, I think subbing might make him slip into a spiral about if he 'actually was assaulted' bc if he enjoys it here how bad were the times when he was forced to submit to someone? I think he has a lot of trouble acknowledging himself as a victim, and I think enjoying subbing would make him think himself a """bad victim""" if he doesn't actively work to get out of that mindset. Because of that, I don't think he subs often, and only with someone he really really trusts, but I think he does really enjoy it and can even derive some catharsis from it.

Dean 9) Humiliating memories: ooooooooh ok now this one is a little tough bc Dean is constantly tormented by The Shame so it's hard to pick out a specific instance where he was definitely humiliated buuuuuut in my personal headcanon one of the most impactful times is his first solo hunt. More specifically, the situation leading up to Dean's first hunt. I mention it here, but essentially, John catches on to Dean having feelings for another boy, which scares the hell out of Dean. After disappearing for a few days (leaving Dean alone and sick to his stomach with anxiety for John's total lack of a reaction) he comes back to the motel, picks Dean up, and tells him to go do a salt and burn of two dead gay nuns. He does, but also internalizes the message John is sending: this is what happens to people like you. John picks him up afterward and never directly says what he's referring to, but tells Dean, "you need to be careful and not be selfish. Your stupid decisions could get you or even Sammy hurt." That, of course, makes Dean feel so astoundingly horrible, he can barely respond. It's why I am in the camp of 'Dean is painfully aware of his attraction to men, but rarely acts on it/never vocalizes it.' bc ^this memory, coupled with the homophobia of the 90's/00's makes Dean very wary of how he carries himself and the kind of """negative attention""" he wants to could attract, and how that could endanger himself/other people around him. 10) Fears/phobias: ok this could couple nicely with the thing i just talked about above but instead I'm going to go in an entirely different direction: DEAN IS (or should be) SCARED OF DOGS. It's honestly pretty wild to me that this really isn't touched on in canon. One of his most significant/narratively impactful deaths is when he was mauled by Hellhounds, and consequently dragged to Hell for 40 years. Canon like, farts in this direction sorta in s6 but it's really not talked about. Homeboy got sliced and diced by dogs!!! He should have some residual stuff about that!! Also I think it would be a point of contention between himself and Sam, Known Dog Lover. It's also why i'm team 'fuck that dog' from the finale. Although, it could be cathartic for him to have an esa/therapy animal be a dog, to rebuild trust.

Castiel 14) Ingrained habits/forces of habit: this one is SO fun for him bc there's so many possibilities with him being an angel. I think this manifests a lot as physical ticks/quirks from being an angel in a human vessel. I think a 'force of habit' of his is literally breathing. He really only needs to breathe in order to talk, but I think in early seasons he catches himself doing it all the time, as a leftover instinct from his human vessel. Later, he catches himself mirroring Dean's, Sam's and other people's breathing as he starts growing closer to humanity, before eventually just adopting breathing all the time. I think it also takes him a long time when he's human to get used to moving at a human speed. If he realizes he needs to go somewhere, his first thought is to fly, and he often has this moment of "why am I not there yet?" before realizing he needs to physically move his human body 🙄🙄🙄 I also think it would be really fun if, especially after first obtaining a vessel, he often speaks quietly because he is used to overwhelming humans with his True Voice. 15) What it takes to make them cry: 🤔🤔🤔 I think Cas is like, a medium-frequency crier (order of most to least likely to cry imo is Dean, Cas, Sam). I think he IS a happy crier and that's what most often causes him to cry; being overwhelmed by positive emotions (i.e. love for his family). I don't think he's normally an angry crier but I do think that when Jack died he should have 1) gone completely silent and stone faced 2) leveled like an entire forest in grief-induced rage and 3) broken down in full on heaving sobs in the middle of all the destruction. 18)Things they’ll never admit: OUGH THIS ONE IS SO JUICY FOR HIM. SO SO JUICY. This one stumped me a bit at first because Cas is a very honest person who normally speaks his mind. He's also pretty self aware. BUT the thing that Cas will never admit is that he kind of revels in being The Universe's Greatest Fool. Like, he's the Angel that Fell in Every Way Imaginable!! He betrayed all his kin and fucked up The Father's Great Narrative, all because he fell in love with a stupid human!! A Bug, Even!!! A BUG WHO DOESN'T LOVE HIM BACK (he does, but, well, see above). And he does it, over and over and over again. He always chooses humanity; he always chooses Dean. The thing is, there's a part of him that feels really comfortable in that idea of ceaseless devotion without acknowledgement; without reciprocity. Of course, it's familiar, but on top of that, I think there's a part of him that still houses guilt for going against his programming. We know he was lobotomized countless times; certainly there's residual feelings about straying from his designed path? And I think it's easier, in a way, to wallow in this self-pity, then to actually attempt to vocalize his wants and ask for what he needs. So, essentially, he fell and he feels like he needs to be punished, and the best possible punishment is for his one true desire to be something he can never obtain, because he doesn't deserve to have what he wants. Anything else feels foreign.

#vinny answers #that was fun #shit got heavy but like. this is a drama tv show so #also to anybody reading this please lmk if you want me to tag certain triggers

[castiel]

#when you think your crush is saying he wants to be your first time

#supernatural #spn #spnedit #destiel #deancas #destieledit #deancasedit #dean winchester #castiel #jensen ackles #misha collins #5x3 #my edits #my gifs #it's hard to see but in the last gif cas eyes get wider and he looks dean up and down #so he clearly heard what all the rest of us heard #which is dean specifically mention a gay couple #and then say that cas is not going to die a virgin... not on DEAN's watch #LIKE COME ONNNN #dean you have to hear yourself

[steveyockey]

Regarding how Supernatural sees and literally portrays its own fans: there are the cringy loser man (who also turn out to be gay which is of course even worse), the straight fetishizing women and the delusional queer fangirls. What I don't understand: where are the fans that Supernatural actually wants? The 'real' fans, the actual target group, so I suppose cool straight dude bros? They're never shown as fans of the show! Because how Supernatural portrays is, it's actually cringe to like Supernatural at all which is funnily just the show shitting on itself (and also true). Or what do you think?

I mean I think you hit the nail on the head, it’s cringe to like supernatural! specifically it’s cringe to like supernatural with a passion, which is funny because like, kripke’s original pitch mentions buffy, the x-files, star wars, properties with active fan communities who rooted for pairings and continue to write fic. it feels like those fans come with the territory! it’s genre fiction! but of course supernatural also came up at the perfect time for its writers to have a better awareness of their fan communities than most of the stuff that came before them, and, what’s more is they chose to do that. becky, demian, and barnes are all names of forum mods from back in the day. they’re mean-spirited caricatures, but they are also currency! in-text acknowledgment! that’s a powerful drug. how mad can you be that you’re getting made fun of for having no life outside a silly tv show that thinks you’re a loser when you’re now a character in that tv show!

it’s difficult to source who supernatural was technically supposed to be for, there’s no actual quote of kripke naming teenage white boys as his target audience, but I did dig up this bad boy from 2009 that suggests dawn ostroff (the cw’s president at the time) was not happy the property pitched as being for males ages 13-25 was instead attracting women 14-45. I mean, we know the first two seasons of supernatural were “the DVDs most requested by armed forces personnel in iraq and afghanistan,” so clearly on some level the “intended audience” was being reached, but it seems at least the perception on the inside was those poor boys were getting massively outflanked by women. there’s a couple levels to this. first of all, the show premiered on the wb. it’s not to say the network couldn’t attempt to attract new viewers (and this was probably part of the intent of the show), but teen soaps were in its dna. they had no way to STOP the women already tuning in for gilmore girls from keeping the tv on another hour. second, though the show is purportedly “about” topics that read as exclusive to men (cars, rock, violence), there’s an obvious appeal to people attracted to men in its casting choices and the way its shot. like jensen didn’t do that fucking titantic necklace ad because he’s the epitome of masculinity, he did it because he was an androgynous dicaprio-type cutie! sure, his look may have been aspirational to teenage boys wanting that same type of attention, but again, there’s no way to prevent women from getting it directly from the source! and for all the show claims to tell us about the single man tear stoicism of it all, dean cries like a little bitch. because he’s not the action hero, not at first! he’s a scared kid who was forced to grow up. and sam’s fucking dean from gilmore girls! he’s got the bangs and the goofy smile! these aren’t the guys the women watching wanted protecting them, they were guys they wanted to provide comfort. and the camera plays into it! as our good friend sheila o’malley puts it, jensen and jared “are objectified in a way usually reserved for female stars.” you can discuss this in terms of a male objectification fantasy, there’s a wonderful post out there equating the compromising positions sam and dean find themselves in on hunts to a sort of bodice-ripper erotic thrill in being taken control of, but that only provides more space for the comfort fantasy. and this is nothing to say of just being interested in the genre! that the attention of female fans is devalued and assumed to have less complexity than the relationship men have to their beloved works. which is CRAZY because lgbt fans and women in fandom are the entire reason supernatural even made it this far! yes, there are swaths of “regular” people at home who watched supernatural in a non-obsessive way, but they weren’t the reason the show saw a 27 percent increase in its audience over the ninth season. that’s passionate fans, and fan communities encouraging passionate fans of other things to join them. supernatural might not have explicitly wanted these fans, but they are the reason for its success at almost any stage of the show’s airing and, while they may have been creating fanwork outside the bounds of the text, their reasons for coming to the show were not invented. what gets me riled up about “fan fiction” is I enjoy 99% of it, the one thing I can’t stand being the suggestion that what the fans are doing is based on a reading of the show the text itself doesn’t support. the text supports it because YOU put it there! just like you put everything else there that already made the show appeal to people outside the “target” audience! all of which is to say. I don’t know who the fuck supernatural was meant for. I don’t really care except in the moments it illuminates something within the text for me or when this idea is wielded effectively in the “ring ring! eric!” type jabs on here. because the show had the audience it had! it didn’t have any other! it took all that fucking con money and continues to do so, I don’t think there’s any better metric than cold hard cash.

#honestlyhaunted #every day i say i will not do fandom studies. and then i do fandom studies. well #spn #answered #rereading this sheila piece before i post it and like wow. this woman makes me feel deeply normal #i understand i am ignoring something here and i am choosing to ignore it so if you send me an ask like 'also this' well. i'll ignore that

[oviids]

pls share some of your spn fic recs 🥺🥺

ok, a few things first:

followers and mutuals who do not have supernatural brainworms, kindly avert your eyes

i don’t normally rec or even read much fanfic any more but this is a CRISIS ok (cont.)

there is so. much. content for deancas out there and i have incredibly high standards, several ancient ao3 bookmarks, can speedread, and want to spare you guys the experience of wading through it all.

i also have a section for spn femslash since I was pretty into that back in the day (sadly a lot less fan content for this :/)

I don’t really like au’s or pure smut (I honestly usually just skim or skip those scenes) so if you’re mainly looking for that kind of thing this probably won’t be very helpful to you. jsyk.

i’m not great at describing stuff but i’ll do my best, i’ll also try and add tw’s when neccesary.

i wil try and keep updating this with any other decent fics i find, feel free to rec stuff too since i’m like 7 years behind.(edit 1/25/21) this is getting looooong so i’m going to start making another list on my spn blog rather than update this one

(edit 1/3/21) since this has gotten pretty long i’ve added rating/approximate word counts and marked my particular favorites with an asterisk.

Dean/Cas fic:

So Says The Sword*** - explicit/85k. FUCK its good...au/time travel where dean is not pulled out of hell by cas and says yes to becoming the michael sword. honestly could serve as an alternative to actually watching the show, if you want to get into dean/cas without actually doing that to yourself.

Fata morgana.*  - teen/6k, pst s9 finale. very bela centric and i love it, she finds cas looking for dean in hell.

Redemption Road -misc/600+k. an incredibly long fic from a collaborative writing group back in the day. canon divergent from the end of s6 on, has a cool take on godstiel and the leviathans, as well as the lovecratian mythos connection. ngl when i reread it i only made it about 28% in but imo the casual reader can actually stop around there, the rest concerns a lovecraftian apocalypse that is still good (i think i don’t remember it very well) but not required to enjoy the first half. if you prefer i have an ebook version i can send you on gdrive.

Someone Who's Feeling For Me* - mature/45k, s12. they run into lisa braeden and dean thinks cas is into her while cas thinks dean still likes her. treats lisa way better than the show ever did and the miscommunication is pretty funny rather than annoying.

a turn of the earth - mature/95k. time travel fic where cas from s10 keeps showing up in deans life from a few years before s1 to right before the hellhounds take his soul.  slow burn, good character study, and at one point cas punches the dad in the face and it rules.

On the Wings of War - teen/85k, canon divergent s5. dean accidentally becomes the Horseman of War. plays fun, fast and loose with biblical lore, michael has some rights.

Named - mature/95k, alternate s5. EXTREMELY blasphemous in a fun sexy way. manages to predict metatron almost to a T. there’s one major character death and its literally jesus christ, everyone is very sad about it and it sets the rest of the story rolling. an alternate interpretation of cas’ mission to raise dean from hell which had me on the floor. ngl its kind of misogynistic at points, but its from 2010 and tracks with late oughts-2010 spn (sorry anna the author did you dirty here:/).

The Girlfriend Experience - explicit/15k. uhhh i don’t normally rec or even read smutty stuff unless someone i know is specifically asking for it but this has stuff like sam trying to be a good ally and dean thinking holding hands with cas is ‘kinda gay :/’ minutes after having gay sex with him.

i crippled your heart a hundred times - explicit/19k, s8. cas confesses his feelings and dean spends a long time getting his head out of his ass about it. truly hits different after the actual confession, despite being written six years early it feels like its actually what could have gone down more or less if the writers weren’t talentless demons who hate us.

My Roots Take Flight** - mature/125k. reverse au where cas is a hunter and dean’s an angel...OR IS IT???? an alternate retelling of s4. tw for briefly being set in a psychiatric hospital/the hospital being mentioned somewhat frequently throughout the fic, plus more references to torture in hell and heaven than usual.

The One Thing You Can't Lose* - teen/4k.you know those posts about how cas is a super-strong super-tough ancient warrior but he just lets dean tug him around because he likes it? thats it thats the fic.

Hands, From Which All Things Are Built - teen/14k, post s8′s ‘goodbye stranger.’ cas is on the run with the angel tablet but keeps in touch with sam and dean by text, he and dean still manage to be terrible at Actual communication.

Autrement, Danger - or, The Account of an Exceedingly Long Day - mature/30k, post s11. a monster that takes the appearance of your soulmate leads to some wild miscommunications and dealing with years of repression, also dean gets to see cas’ true form which is always cool. tw for non-graphic mentions of underage sexual assault/sex work.

Down to Agincourt - mature/explicit/900++++k, endverse continuation. endverse!cas survives his encounter with lucifer and discovers another time-displaced dean from s7. i’ve only read the two of four parts but its really good, veeeeery slow burn, has a lot of fun oc’s and takes a rather surprising but (imo) entertaining and intriguing turn into Hellenic history and mythology. usual tw’s for endverse/endverse!cas but nothing graphic, it’s actually pretty light-hearted (relatively speaking of course).

Nothing Equals the Splendor** - explicit/8k, THEE finale fix it fic you’ve been waiting for! posits that the entire final episode was just a (very bad and lame) djinn’s vision.

like moses and batman and james dean - explicit/31k, post s8. explores dean’s trauma and internalized homophoba from his technically canon experience with sex work and its impact on his relationship with cas. the sex work itself isn’t really shown in any detail but it’s still a relatively heavy fic.

Crazy Diamonds - explicit/25k, s4/alternate s14. fresh-out-of-hell dean and dean from 10 years in the future are displaced from time and sent to each other’s present.

where the weeds take root - explicit/30k. au where the men of letters kick them out of the bunker and they accidentally move out into the country, get over their codependence and semi retire. featuring chicken coop building, sam volunteering at a dog shelter, gardening, and blissfully mundane domesticity.

No Resting Place - teen/6k. djinn dream fic, switches back and forth between cas’ dream of being married to dean and retired from hunting to the aftermath when he wakes up. tw for brief mention of suicide since, y’know, djinn dream.

any port in a storm - mature/52k. post s8 finale. cas and dean have to pose as a couple going through a rough patch for a case and actually deal with their emotional baggage, cas struggles with being human and metatron is up to stuff.

all this and heaven too* - explicit/7k. in the author’s own words ‘...a love letter to every trans person who ever projected onto Dean Winchester.’ absolutely unzipped me emotionally and theologically, its just. so good. tw for very brief mentions of internalized transphobia/dysphoria.

Because it is* - mature/6k, finale fix it. killing chuck does not bring back anyone back and the winchesters spend a very long time dealing with what they’ve lost, cas and dean SOMEHOW still manage to have signifigant communication issues even after the confession. tw for suicidal thoughts/brief attempt.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit* - teen/4k, s6. when cas fell for dean it automatically soulbonded/angel married them, shenanigans ensue when dean finds out during the angel’s civil war. funny and actually written back when s6 was airing so cas is still (or at least pretending to be) kind of an OP asshole which is fun.

Rinse, Repeat - teen/3k, s8. angsty character study of cas as he’s reprogrammed and trained to kill dean. not really dean/cas since its just cas’ pov of canon events but its beautifully written and ends with him snapping out of it through the power of love (also now a canon event!).

Emergence - explicit/59k, canon divergent after s11. dean meets a hunter he only recognizes as their friend claire novak’s missing father, but soon realizes he might be the answer behind the mysterious void in his memories and feelings (aka everyone’s memories of cas are completely wiped away for three years).

Cuckoo And Nest - explicit/10k, early established relationship/character study, cas tries to figure out how he fits into dean’s life and space in the bunker.

Build a Home* - teen/20k, canon divergent s12. sam and eileen are cute and turn the bunker into men of letters/hunters hq and everyone but cas moves in, mutual miscommunication issues and pining ensues.

Down in the River - teen/5k, early s8, cas prays to dean in purgatory while sam and dean try to figure out a way to get him out.

Teaching Poetry to Fish* - mature/52k, ?? BC through the entire series/canon divergent s14 and 15. retelling of crucial scenes throughout the shows timeline from cas’ pov, feat. actual fish and poetry.

the minor fall, the major lift - gen/4k, post confession/finale fixit. dean goes into the empty to save cas and runs into several old friends (and enemies).

With the Kisses of His Mouth* - teen/3k, gen later seasons. dean and cas keep kissing by accident.

Remaining Grace - explicit/109k, alternate s6. au where cas asks dean for help with raphael and dean, of course, does. tw for temporary major character death/semi-graphic depictions of alcohol withdrawal.

The face of heaven.* - teen/10k, au, dean is a regular guy and cas is a fallen star (think ‘stardust’, kinda).

Stories Are Made of Mistakes*  - teen/5k. newly human cas has trouble getting used to a human body and humanity in general, but still figures out that he and dean are A Thing before dean does.

Hurry Up And Wait - mature/21k, canon divergent s12. a fairyland and quite possibly LOTR related case comes up and dean goes full fanboy, mary is introduced to the wonders of the peter jackson adaptions, many references and comparisons (including between cas and dean’s ‘friendship’ and arwen/aragon). also charle is still alive and has just been doing fairy stuff this whole time.

There Are Many Things - explicit/28k, s9. cas is extremely lonely/touch-starved and trying to figure out this whole human thing, as well as where he and dean stand after being kicked out of the bunker.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing - teen/40k, post s11 finale. amara helps dean by putting him in a magical coma so he can finally get some much needed rest and show him possible futures for him, sam and cas. meanwhile sam and cas go on a roadtrip (or several) to find componets for a spell to wake dean up. really good sam and cas friendship, they actually talk about their shared lucifer trauma and stuff.

Non-Photo Blue - gen/2k, s4/5/alternate s5. fifty moments from cas’ memories of dean.

Tall Grass - explicit/57k, canon divergent post series. cas becomes the ultimate plant dad. feat the wayward sisters gang, cathartic character growth, fun oc’s, domesticity, and lots of actual botanical info-dumping.

on vessels - no rating/gen/2k. established dean/cas, cas tells dean about how he used to imagine what it would be like to have him as his vessel.

search for tomorrow on every shore* - teen/11k, post-finale (extremely derogatory). some angels in jack’s new heaven act out and dean gets temporarily resurrected in 2003 and runs into his younger self.

Architecture of the Minotaur’s Heart - explicit/45k, very canon divergent post s1. dean’s new house seems to have a life and mind of its own, while in his dreams he sees glimpses of a world and apocalypse that never came to be and an angel that looks strangely like his mysterious neighbor, cas. loosely inspired by the book house of leaves (which i highly recommend for fans of weird horror).

The Distance Of The Setting Sun - explicit/17k, post s5. established dean/cas relationship, team free will finally takes advantage of cas’ abilities to go on vacation around the world.

diamond star halo - teen/5k, s11. dean lets cas use him as a temporary vessel while he recovers from rowena’s spell, sam is a long-suffering third-wheel.

Make Known** - teen/16k, s6/7. dean struggles to understand how cas could have become his enemy and whether he ever truly knew him in the first place.

blunt little instrument* - mature/1.4k, post finale. dean finally confronts his father in heaven, very cathartic.

my heart a compass*** - teen/10k, post confession. the empty forces cas to re-experience his most regretted moments while dean tries to snap him out of it and bring him home.

A Crash Course in Someone Else's History - teen/11k, s6. cas from the very start of s4 is brought forward in time by s6!cas to distract the brothers from his and crowley’s plans.

The Cuckoo Father - mature/8k, s7 au. the woman who found cas in the river post-leviathans does not marry him bc he was sent to her by god or whatever, but actually identifies him as jimmy novak and sends him back to claire and amelia.

The Dead Dean Clause* - teen/5k, post alt s5 ending. team free will celebrates surviving taking down lucifer by getting blitzed, cas lies to a cop and gets an impromptu driving lesson. title/description sound dark i know but it’s actually very funny and light.

Suck It, Judy Garland - mature/20k, s12 (after the ‘i love you...i love all of you’ episode). cas and sam have to pretend to be a couple for a case and dean is NOT happy about it.

By Daylight and In Dream - teen/16k, s5. pre-dean/cas, dean invites cas to use his dreams to hide from the other angels. tw for very brief mention of a memory/dream of alastair sexually assaulting dean.

The Five People You Meet in Heaven - mature/22k, post-canon. an actually happy (if sometimes bittersweet) heaven endgame written several years ago, though some details are rather eerily similar to the show’s ending.

heaven is a place on earth* - teen/2k. dean’s pov of some of the times cas left him behind throughout the show, and one alternate ending where he finally gets to stay.

I Cleanse The Mirror - teen/20k, alternate s6. dean’s body is stolen by an ancient elemental and his soul has to hitch a ride in cas’ vessel.

an exploration of gender; angelic*** - mature/4k. *oscar isaac voice* lets get into angel gender politics!! aka cas is trans.

Zenith - explicit/33k, s9. after 9x06 an angry witch curses cas with the ability to see supernatural beings and human souls.

La cucina. - gen/3k, alt s9. dean goes wild helping a newly-human cas find out what kinds of food he likes, or the early s9 domesticity we deserved!

Dean Winchester, Cocksucker at Rest***** - teen/7k, post-finale. john and mary finally come over for dinner and john reacts to dean/cas in a rather predictable fashion. SOOOOOOOOO good omg, its so funny and a little sad and very very cathartic. part of a series that has a few other really good short fics.

The Way You Didn't Go - teen/5k, s15. coda to 15.09, dean has nightmares about the moc!cas timeline.

On Drowning - teen/28k. dean saves cas after he nearly drowns, they both try and deal with the physical/mental fallout (aka the fic where thee iconic “you only touch me when you think I’m dead or dying” originates). tw for realistic depictions of drowning/triage/misc medical information.

The Thirty-Six Questions That Lead to Love* - mature/13k. claire has dean and cas pretend to be her gay dads for a case and they play the titular 36 question game, get mistaken for swingers, and birdwatch, among other things.

Assorted F/F stuff:

Deep Breaths* - mary/ellen, au where mary said no to azazel’s deal and let john stay dead, still becomes a milf.

Like Rebel Diamonds - krissy/claire, they become hunter gf’s on the hunt for cas to kick his ass for taking jimmy. not-so-stealth dean/cas as well.

To Ash and Bone - anna/ruby, same author as the previous fic (p much all of her stuff is good from what i recall). au where ruby is a witch and helps anna when she’s cursed.

Holy Clockwork Angels - jo/ruby, STEAMPUNK au with very cool worldbuiilding.

At Day's End - jo/anna (my fucking KINGDOM for more jo/anna content, the dean/cas parallels are allllll there), au where they are both at the camp in the endverse and gfs.

these posts - ok so not actually a fic but i’m now obsessed with this hannah/meg dynamic.

Tagelied - mary/ellen, the true story of how ellen got into hunting before angels interfered.

Hell's Bells** - meg/abaddon, alternate s8/9 where meg survives crowley’s attack with sam’s help and teams up with abaddon (who she has a sk year old crush on) to take back hell.

The Ecstasy of the Rose - anna/ruby, anna travels back in time to escape heaven and becomes a signifigant part of ruby’s old human life.

Angel Underground - anna/jo, kind of an urban fantasy au with a very intriguing premise (sadly its very short, i’d love to see more if this ‘verse).

Clover, Flame - billie/mary, billie was always the reaper that showed up to take mary after her death(s) over the years.

Drag Me To Heaven - anna/ruby, a variant on the ‘last night on earth’ thing with dean.

Come Home* - jo/anna, canon-divergent au where anna is the new waitress at the roadhouse and helps jo set up a (probably not really) haunted house for halloween.

#if you told me i'd be doing this in 2020 three weeks ago i'd have laughed in your face :/ #deancas #supernatural #fic recs #spn femslash #destiel #fic #the alie tag #spn posting

[gates-keeper]

Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels

I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?

Comments From Outside Characters

To Dean

Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)

Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)

Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)

Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)

Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)

Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)

Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)

Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14) 

To Castiel

Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)

Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)

Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)

Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)

The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)

Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)

There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.

Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)

Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)

Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)

Comments From Dean

To Cas

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03) 

“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)

“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)

“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)

“We need you. I need you.” 

For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.

To Other Characters

Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)

“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)

While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.

“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)

“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)

“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)

“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)

Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.

“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)

While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”

“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)

“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)

Comments From Cas

To Dean

“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)

“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)

“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)

“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)

“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)

Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.

“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)

“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)

“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).

“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)

Cas love confession (15x18)

To Other Characters

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)

“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)

This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.

“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)

“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)

Other Comments

Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”

Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”

Use of We vs. I

In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.

We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:

“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”

“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”

It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”

In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.

(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples

In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23

Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.

David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)

When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.

Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)

Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.

Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.

Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.

Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)

PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished

#destiel #destiel fanfic #destiel is canon

[ordinaryschmuck]

The Bright Side of 2020

It's easy to say that 2020 was an awful year. Because it was. 2020 is easily one of the worst years in a while, filled with death, depression, economic collapse, a pandemic, and even the word 'poggers' becoming a thing. 

Seriously, what the hell is 'poggers?!' The more I see it, the less it makes sense to me!

2020 was filled to the brim with so many awful moments. In no way should we forget any of it, and heaven forbid that we ignore all of it.

But that doesn't mean we should let the bad overshadow the good.

As we enter the last month of the dumpster fire that is this year, let us look over the good that came from it. Because I don't want to end 2020 with a whimper, but at least with a little glimmer of hope.

So here is my list:

Joe Biden has been elected as our new president, and the entire world had collectively celebrated. Sure, Trump is reacting to the news like a toddler who won't share his ball and decided to run home crying to his mommy. But by January, we will never talk about this man again, and America will remember him as he was back in 2016: A bad joke that wasn’t that funny to begin with, and has been annoying to hear since the beginning.

Our new vice president will not only be the first female VP but will also be a VP who is an African American, an Asian American, and an Indian American. It doesn't make up for the years when old white dudes were in charge, but it's a start. So let's take a moment to appreciate our new VP, shall we...That was nice. Next!

Voice actors who are people of color are given more of a chance to voice characters who are POC as well. It gets better as white VAs are getting replaced with VAs with the correct background to perform as specific characters. You can make the argument that a voice is a voice and that it doesn't matter who the face behind it is as long as the performance is still good. But if you're going to go the progressive route anyway, then why not go all the way with hiring actors to portray their own race/culture?

Several comedians kept us laughing despite how the year got worse and worse and how emotionally drained they were because of it. Laughter is the best medicine and boy, does it help that I can still laugh off the pain this year brought.

On a darker note: Online personalities Ryan Haywood from Achievement Hunter and Adam Kovic from Funhaus were revealed to dealing in sexual misconducts with their fans. On the surface, this seems like a bad thing. And with the betrayal and heartbreak that came from it, it certainly seems like so. But look at it this way: These monsters would have continued to do such awful things, regardless if they got caught this year or not. And while it pains me to know so many good videos are going to be deleted, some of which helped me on days that I needed a laugh the most, it is good knowing that Haywood and Kovic won't get away with what they did again. Because we won’t let them.

Back to a lighter note: A rare yellow turtle was discovered in India, and I am in love with this thing! I thought it was a mustard stain at first when I saw the photo, but it's a turtle. And it's adorable. And I will not rest until I find it and give it cuddles it deserves. Which is all of the cuddles.

So many incredible LGBTQ+ representations were given this year! Yes, that whole thing with Dean and Castiel was unforgettable as much as it is unforgivable. But if you ignore the live-action side of things and look at animation, you will find things are brighter than a rainbow over a pride parade. Catra and Adora finally kissed in a moment that was both satisfying and beautiful. Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn became a couple in Harley Quinn, giving comic fans something they wanted for years. Adventure Time fans were given a forty-five-minute episode filled with adorable moment after adorable moment of Marceline and Princess Bubblegum being an operant couple. Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts has a character who explicitly says, "I'm gay," and even gets a boyfriend in the end (I think. I haven't finished the show yet). And Disney has finally, F**KING FINALLY, taken steps in the right direction with their new hit: The Owl House. A series where the main character is a bisexual Latina who has a same-sex love interest that has an explicit crush on the main character.

And while we're on the topic of entertainment: HOLY S**T, have you seen the quality content we got this year?

Amazing animated shows came out with hit after hit with series like The Midnight Gospel, The Owl House, Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts, Central Park, and many, many more. Shows that are hilarious, beautifully animated, and tell compelling stories with equally compelling characters.

Adventure Time, Animaniacs, Eddsworld, Phineas and Ferb, and Crash Bandicoot came back with revivals, reboots, specials, and long-awaited sequels that were not just as good as they were before leaving, but in some ways, are even better.

A recorded performance of Hamilton can now be seen on Disney+, meaning that theater kids can finally see the show they have been obsessing over since that soundtrack came out.

HBOmax took shows from DC's piece of s**t streaming service, meaning that fans can watch Doom Patrol and Harley Quinn on a service that's actually worth the price...Titans can suck a dick. But Doom Patrol and Harley Quinn! Doom Patrol and Harley Quinn!

Avatar: The Last Airbender and Community is on Netflix now...so go watch them.

Spider-Man: Miles Morales is a game that stars the famous bi-racial Spider-Man, that also shows off the color and diversity that is present in the people of Harlem. And given what happened this year, that is definitely appreciated. Not to mention that I’ve heard it's a fun game on top of that!

And that's just the s**t I can think of off the top of my head. There are plenty more good things that came this year, some of which I'm sure is better than what I put on this list. All a person has to do is do some research, which I encourage you to do yourself.

Don't let 2020 win by beating you down. Instead, let's focus on the bright side to stop the dark shadow of a year from taking over.

And I'm begging you: Keep this list going! It's not a bad thing to give people good news for a change.

#2020 #joe biden #kamala harris #achievement hunter #funhaus #supernatural #she ra and the princesses of power #harley quinn #adventure time distant lands #kipo and the age of wonderbeasts #the owl house #the midnight gospel #central park #animaniacs #phineas and ferb #eddswolrd #crash bandicoot #doom patrol #avatar the last airbender #community #spider-man miles morales #the bright side of 2020

[epicene-humanoid]

some trans Jeff thoughts:

he realized he was trans in elementary school and just went fuck it I'll just start introducing myself as Jeffery and see if anyone decides to stop me (as we know, jeff winger can get away with almost anything)

he got top surgery the second he could afford it (around the same time he started at his law firm), and probably bribed someone to keep it a secret

"I'm jeff winger and i would rather look at myself naked than the women I sleep with" are the words of a man proud of his transition

he's really insecure about his fashion sense, which is why he mostly dresses like the douchey guys at his firm in the start of the show, he thought you can't go wrong with the sleazy lawyer look

he will never admit it but he feels super good about the dean hitting on him, because the dean is a (cis) guy, acknowledging that Jeff is more manly than him

i think he starts out stealth and comes out to everyone one by one, probably starting with abed because he knows abed won't judge him and will probably just see it as an interesting backstory.

abed just says it's cool and maybe worth a prequel exploring Jeff's transition, and jeff asks him to predict how all of the members of the group will react to him coming out.

abed's predictions:

britta will be over-the-top supportive and do a ton of research about trans history, probably put together a slideshow just to prove how progressive she is, and jeff will be a little bit weirded out, but also touched that she did all that for him, though he would never let her know that

shirley will be confused, because she doesn't know how someone she trusts and knows so well could be part of a group she was raised to hate, but ultimately realizes that there's nothing actually against the lgbtq people in the bible, and, as a cool character development arch, starts to advocate against use of the bible to justify bigotry

troy will just think it over and decide that Jeff's physique and coolness are even awesomer knowing how much work he'd had to put in to be like that, and respects Jeff's manliness even more

annie will give him a hug, say something sweet about how she'll always love him, and worry about his health, because even she read somewhere that taking testosterone makes you more likely to have a heart attack, jeff will explain that the risk is still only as high a cis guy, and she'll be the one to always remind him to take his shots

peirce will say at best say "jeff winger used to be a chick?" and at worst call him a slur, either way there's sure to be a lot of misgendering from him, and pestering to know Jeff's deadname (needless to say, Jeff just doesn't tell peirce)

the whole group goes out of their way to keep their beach trips a secret from pierce (the girls don't want him there anyways, he's too liable to be creepy) even though jeff knows that even if pierce saw his scars, all he would have to do is make up a story about some childhood accident and pierce would never question it

sorry this ended up being super long. can I hear some of your headcanons for him?

YES ALL THIS!!! yes yes i’m fully accepting this as canon oh my god

i’m about to type a whole ass ESSAY at midnight because i have been DYING to talk about this for months ajfdksljk,,, this is going to be obscenely long and i might end up adding even more to it as i continue to rewatch the show because there is truly no shortage of trans jeff content (especially when you’re trans and see transness in every little thing ajdkslfkjs)

spoiler warning for literally everything about this show under the cut <3

i 100% agree, i feel like he realized he was trans super young, especially since in the show we see him as a little kid a couple of times. 

like look at little jeff with the oversized sweatshirt and little ponytail!! that’s childhood trans fashion. not to be dramatic but part of me thinks that jeff’s dad left before he fully came out to his family (which gives him even more angst about it, because until that one Thanksgiving episode, he’s never able to prove to his dad that he’s a better man), but part of me thinks that his dad left after he came out (which adds that spicy i-should-have-stayed-in-the-closet guilt that he has to work through). 

either way, because his dad wasn’t there, he had to base his concept of masculinity on something else, which was becoming a lawyer!! there’s some line that’s like “after the dust and divorce papers were settled the only man i looked up to was [the lawyer guy]”. like, replacing your father figure in your mind with the concept of “a job where you can talk your way in and out of anything and distort other people’s concept of reality”? that’s trans.

 and the fucking THANKSGIVING EPISODE... i struggle to watch it without crying hehe <3 yeowch! the dichotomy of willy jr. being the “wrong” kind of man because he’s “too soft” but jeff also not being enough despite adhering to all the social standards of masculinity... fuck!! this whole scene of him telling his dad “i am Not well adjusted” and talking about how he gave himself an “appendix surgery scar” when he was a kid and he still keeps the get-well-soon letters from his classmates under his bed? oh my god. the implication of people loving him not despite his scars but because of them?? trans. i can’t think about this episode for too long or i’ll start yelling.

OH and this scene? where he talks about how his mom got him a girl costume for halloween?? and everyone said “what a cute little girl” and after a few houses he stopped correcting them?? and “once the shame and the fear wore off, i was just glad they thought i was pretty”?? THAT’S TRANS... the man needs validation oh my god... and then in all the halloween episodes we see he has these ultra-masculine costumes (a cowboy, David Beckham, one of the fast and furious guys even though he never watched the movies, a boxer with his DAD’S boxing gloves... god) costumes are about becoming something else and he always chooses to be hypermasculine and that is trans.

THE PHYSICAL EDUCATION EPISODE!!!!!!! being uncomfortable during P.E. is a queer experience. period. but him being specifically uncomfortable in the clothes someone else is assigning to him? trans. “are we gonna talk about clothes like a girl? or use tapered sticks to hit balls around a cushioned mat like a man?” TRANS. and him eventually stripping in public? celebration of transness. and the fact that he eventually becomes comfortable in both the uniform and his own style!! trans!! god i love this episode. 

AND AND AND!!! the gay dean coming out episode!!! where it’s the three of them discussing the best way for the dean to come out as gay despite not entirely identifying with that label!! so we have both frankie and the dean who are sort of ambiguously queer, and jeff who’s a stealth trans man who’s probably only out to only the study group at this point. this scene where the dean and jeff have this like eyebrow communication while frankie is talking is just so cute. queer-to-queer communication. “I am so curious” “oh?” “intellectually.” “oh...” ajfdksljfk this scene just screams high school GSA to me and i love it so much.

and SPEAKING of the dean!! i totally see you on that. i feel like jeff has some internalized homophobia/biphobia (like he’d throw punches over someone else, but when it comes to himself he has a lot of shame). and also seeing the dean so confident in all his different outfits/costumes has a weird affect on him bc it’s like “okay, the dean, a cis guy, can do that, but i as a trans guy could Not because that’s Breaking the Rules”. which, like, throwback to the halloween thing. of course there’s no right way to be masculine, but mr. winger does not know that.

another thing!! the episode where their emails get leaked? that includes his emails with his therapist. fuck!! he was outed to the whole world in that episode!! no wonder he was so fucking angry!! this whole episode (and really any time he mentions his therapist) is so interesting when you think about them as a person he talks to about his transition. OH which adds to the thing with the dean!! “and you told your therapist you wanted to be alone this weekend” and “not you jeff, i know you’ll be visiting your dad” ”I told you to stop reading my emails”. luckily his study group has his back and just makes fun of him for emailing astronauts lmao

and WHO can forget “they’re giving out an award for most handsome young man!!!!” what else is there to say about this line besides: he’s trans. you know he didn’t get awarded enough for being a handsome young man when he was a kid, and no amount of compliments when he’s fully-grown can really make up for that. some people crash a kid’s bar mitzvah to cope with the fact that they struggled to be seen as themselves when they were a teenager <3

also his weird relationship with pierce? where he kind of hates him (understandably lmao) but at times has this almost-friends-almost-father-son relationship with him? especially in this episode where he’s forced to bond with him and ends up having a good time by accident (at a barber shop no less, the perfect place to Be A Man with your Man Friend). idk what to say about him besides the fact that pierce says his mom wanted a girl when he was born and made him dress like a girl (and his middle name is anastasia!) so if they’re gonna do any bonding over transness it’s gonna be that. 

okay one last thing and then i’ll shut up for the night. this episode kills me (and almost kills jeff hahahahelpi’mcrying). it’s a very Trans thing to not be able to visualize your future self, it just is. growing up trans at the time he did? i don’t know what kind of future he saw for himself, but i’m so happy that he ended up with a group of friends who became his family and love him the way they all do. i’m so emotional over this asshole it’s ridiculous. 

in conclusion:

they’re trans, your honor <3

#community #jeff winger #trans jeff winger #GOD i'm gonna make a video essay about it if nobody stops me #yall know that youtube channel AreTheyGay? i want to be that but AreTheyTrans #the videos would just b like... jeff community. neo the matrix. bill and ted bill and ted. audrey little shop of horrors. jo little women. #maybe i should start that youtube channel sjdfklsj #thank you for prompting me to talk about this because i think about it twice a day #i might end up reblogging this and just adding different responses jeff has had to casually homophobic/transphobic things that happen #in the show #like the episode that last photo is from when the dean is like #'spring transfer student dance isn't rolling off the tongue so we're calling it The Tr@nny Dance!' 'much more greendale.' #OH AND ACCIDENTALLY KILLING PIERCE'S DAD!!! HOW DID I NOT MENTION THAT EARLIER SJFKLSJ #'you LITERALLY killed a father!' 'well not MINE dummy!!' #alright i need to do my homework now ajfklsdjfl

[ambiguousdisorderken]

in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

 Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 – The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also “I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel.  Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” //  Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

 Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23  – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

 Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references. 

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

 Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

 Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

 Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

 Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is). 

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

#Anonymous #thanks for coming to my ted talk #im posting this at 2:30 am so i'll most likely reblog it at a more reasonable hour ..in case anon is closer to my time zone #why am i even saying this..im sleepy #destiel #answered #destiel episode guide #there might be number/name mistakes because again sleepish.forgive me #long post

[fanfic-corner]

Tumblrversary - 21st June 2021

It's official: I've been on this cursed site as this blog for a full year now. I'm not sure what exactly I've gained from the experience, other than more new friends than I can count and whatever the fuck November 5th had going on. Anyway, this is every single thing (of note) I've posted this year for you to peruse at your leisure, but mostly so my dumb ass can find it later :)

Destiel fic recs

My all time favourites

Alternate Universes

Apocalypse/Dystopia AU

Cafe AU

College/Uni AU

Soulmate AU / pt 2

Word Count

Under 2,000 words

Under 10,000 words / pt 2

Episode Specific Fics

15x18 Fics

15x19 Fics

15x20 Fics

Other Ships

Sabriel

Holidays

Halloween

Christmas / pt 2

New Year's

Sexualities

Asexuality and other a-spec identities

Bisexual Dean

Tropes

Bed Sharing

Case Fics

Established Relationship

Major Character Death

Slow Burn

John Winchester is an Asshole

Writer!Castiel

Wattpad

Fluff

Other fic recs

Ineffable Husbands

Natsby

Professor Layton

Cockles

A-Spec Across Fandoms

My writing

After (634 words) - AO3

Dean Winchester was dead.

You Only Live Once (1,238 words) - AO3

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replied, his frown matching Sam’s. “What are you doing up?”

“I’m allowed to leave my bed, guys.” Dean pouted, plopping himself safely out of spaghetti splatter range. “I’m only dying. It’s no biggie.”

Heaven's Honeysuckle (2,591 words) - AO3

Dean is only meant to pick up the flowers for his brother's wedding, but the kind man with the blue eyes who works there keeps dragging him back to the small shop.

'I love you' (420 words) - AO3

"I love you."

Dean just stares at him.

All Alright (1,403 words) - AO3

Two people die every second. It was a fact Dean had learnt many years ago, from some shitty game show on some crappy motel room tv. Two people die every second, and Dean couldn’t help but feel like they were always people he knew.

A State of Normal (457 words) - AO3

Slowly, life returned to a state of normal that Dean hardly recognised.

Forever Intertwined (358 words) - AO3

Castiel was no longer an angel of the Lord. He did not have the power to grip anyone tight and raise them from perdition. In fact, for all intents and purposes, he was human.

That didn’t mean that there wasn’t anything he could do while he waited for his love.

nothing ever really ends, does it? (3,397 words) - AO3

Five different endings to Supernatural, because they deserved better. Each one is self-contained, and they are all varying lengths.

Darling, So It Goes (4,652 words) - AO3 / post

When Dean gets asked to be Santa for Jody and Donna's Christmas party, he does not expect it to end with a litre of chocolate milk over a homophobe's head, but he is all too eager to help out a man in need.

Wrapped in Red (7,265 words) - AO3 / post

New at being human, Castiel doesn't know a lot about Christmas traditions, but when a case involves them infiltrating a couple's only Christmas party, Cas wants the full experience.

Including mistletoe.

5 Birthdays Dean Had Without His Angel, and the One With (1,516 words) - AO3 / podfic / post

Six different January 24ths, and how Dean celebrated.

Who We Are (17,331 words) - AO3 / post

It was supposed to be easy: barge into the Empty, rescue Cas, confess his love, be back in time for dinner.

The man Dean rescued was not the Cas he knew.

Suez, My Beloved <3 (507 words) - AO3 / podfic by mistbornhero / post

There has been too much calm in the world.

Season 16, Time For A Wedding! (12,332 words) - AO3 / post

Dean and Castiel are inviting you to share in their celebration of marriage.

+ Dinner and reception after!

Whoever wasn't expecting chaos had clearly never met the Winchesters.

Gay or European ( ADD LATER ) - AO3 / post

When the British contestant for this year's Eurovision Song Contest is suddenly out of the competition, it's left to four Americans and their Irish friend to take the microphone.

Paige, their manager, has not packed nearly enough painkillers for the chaos this trip will cause.

death may love you more ( ADD LATER) - AO3

On a hunt gone wrong, Dean finds himself possessed by an old enemy of the Winchesters. Bela is out for revenge, and she is hell bent on ruining Dean's life through any means possible.

If that means breaking the angel's heart, then, well...

Tumblr Ficlets

Don't Mention It

23 (for an ask game)

Supernatural: The End

"You love her, don't you?" (Thasmin)

Podfics

Building the Michael Sword: Some Assembly Required (10 minutes)

Castiel gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition, everybody and their mother knows that. What is less well-known, however, is that he was also responsible for re-assembling the body.

Which he did with all the grace and patience of a man putting together a particularly difficult IKEA bunk bed.

The Tea is Decaf (25 minutes)

Based on this text post from thebloggerbloggerfun: "Listen, imagine Eileen sneaking out of Sam’s room at night to go to the bathroom or something and steps out into the hallway in one of Sam’s shirts only to see Cas trying to quietly leave Dean’s room while wearing one of Dean’s shirts and they both just stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before trying to muffle quiet laughter and now they have a late night club where they talk about life and gossip about the Winchesters in sign language"

And this anon I received: "what if Eileen and Cas discover there are some things Sam and Dean both do in bed because Dean jokingly gave Sam pointers when they were younger and Sam took the advice"

#supernatural #masterpost #my writing #destiel #i just. fuckin. forgot to post this oops-

[scoobydoofenshmirtz]

LGBTQ Supernatural Character Breakdown

Okay so yesterday I posted this lovely screenshot of yet another stupid reddit post about spn that I thought was funny and shrugged off as another reddit dudebro thing. However, then @thehappyearth went and actually read through the thread and reported back with results. The opinions of OP were unsurprising, but they got me thinking. Part of the post reads "I would prefer a neutral show that doesn't aim to include LGBT people in nearly every episode.. its unrealistic unless they are in a location where this holds true..example (California)". Now that's ridiculous for a lot of reasons. 1) Not having LGBT people in a show does not make it "neutral." Cishet is not the default human experience, neither is male, nor white nor able-bodied, etc. 2) It's not "unrealistic" to have LGBT in literally any location in the world. We exist everywhere you go. Yes, certain places tend to attract LGBT adults and families due to their culture, legal protections, history, etc. but it's not like there's something in San Francisco water that just makes people there gay at a higher percentage. I assure you, reddit user, there are LGBTQ people in every single place Sam and Dean have visited in the show. 3) like literally it's just homophobic shut up reddit bros. ANWAY...

But what really got me thinking was the "nearly every episode" comment. Like, dude. What show are you watching? But then I thought...wait how many LGBTQ characters actually are there in Supernatural, so I did a little digging and compiled this list (google sheets) of every LGBTQ character to appear on screen. This doesn't include characters who are only mentioned (although there aren't many to add with that anyway). I looked into some different criteria and I included each character, the number of episodes they appeared in, their first and last episode, how many episodes they appeared in as a confirmed LGBTQ character, their sexuality, if they speak or not, and if they died. I also included a description and notes, and noted which characters were in episodes nominated for GLAAD awards. I also included "ambiguous" characters who I either felt weren't "confirmed" as LGBTQ (like the man who is possibly a gay porn star or the sassy yorkie) but in that realm, or characters where there were bigger issues that make it more complicated (Dean, Crowley, and Rowena).

And then I got curious and made a whole second spreadsheet with a list of all the episodes featuring confirmed LGBTQ characters. I included which characters are featured, if it includes an LGBTQ couple, if it features an LGBTQ storyline important to the plot, if it features a recurring LGBTQ character, if any LGBTQ character dies, if it was nominated for a GLAAD award, and my opinion on if it's homophobic. I only included episodes where a character was confirmed LGBTQ when it aired, however I did include retroactively LGBTQ characters when listing what recurring characters are featured.

Some findings under the cut:

I counted a total of 32 on screen (reasonably) confirmed LGBTQ characters in all of Supernatural (for the purposes of this I have counted Charlie and apocalypse Charlie as separate characters). Now when I say confirmed this is a range from Charlie to characters who had a same sex kiss in the background. There is a chance I have missed some, so if you look through this and notice someone missing, please let me know. (Also sidenote I say LGBTQ but there's no confirmed trans characters as far as I could tell). That's an average of 2.13 per season. There are 9 recurring characters and 23 that only appear once. There are 6 with 3 or more episodes. The only characters that appeared in more than 2 episodes while confirmed as an LGBTQ character are Charlie (apocalypse world and regular) and Chuck. Of all these characters 10 are dead (with three of these presumably resurrected off screen) and 22 survived.

If we break it down by era Kripke had 4 with 0 recurring characters and half and half dead/alive. This is .8 per season average. Gamble had 3 and (at the time) none were recurring and none died. This is 1.5 per season average. Carver had 10 including making Chuck bisexual. Charlie also became a recurring character (then she died). This is 2.5 per season average. Dabb has 15 including Castiel and Claire. This included 7 recurring characters and 8 one offs, and 8 alive and 7 dead. This is 3.75 per season average.

As far as sexualities go, we have 3 (presumably) lesbian characters (2 Charlies and Donna's niece) 3 gay characters (Max Banes and 2 one offs who die) and 2 bisexual characters (Chuck and Noah the gorgon). No single character ever refers to themself by any sexuality as far as I can tell, but Alan J Corbett (Ghostfacers intern) and Conner (from the church) are both referred to as gay by other characters. Everyone else I based on context. All the other characters were unspecified as to their specific sexualities.

In terms of episodes with confirmed LGBTQ characters (so characters who at the time the episode was written were reasonably confirmed as LGBTQ) we have 39 total, a bulk of them being episodes that feature either Chuck or Charlie. That's about 12% of all SPN episodes. If you take out episodes that only include either Chuck or Charlie as the confirmed character you have 20 left which is 6.25% of all SPN episodes.

There are 12 episodes that feature an LGBTQ couple, 3.75% of all episodes. There are, by my count, 9 episodes with an LGBTQ storyline important to the plot or 2.8% of episodes. I know this is more subjective but I included Ghostfacers, Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo, LARP and the Real Girl, Sacrifice, The Chitters, Wayward Sisters, Ouroboros, Gimme Shelter, and Despair.

If we break down writers from who has the most episodes with confirmed LGBTQ characters Robbie Thompson comes in the lead with 9, Buckleming next with 6, Bobo and Dabb with 5, Yockey and Glynn with 4, Davy Perez with 3, and Nick Vaught, Nancy Won, Nancy Weiner, Eric Kripke, Jeremy Carver, Sera Gamble, Brett Matthews, and Bed Edlund all having 1. As far as writers who introduced new LGBTQ characters or canonized previously existing ones we have again Robbie Thompson in the lead with 7, Dabb with 6 (although 4 were from co-written episodes), Berens with 4, Yockey and Glynn with 3, Brett Matthews, Davy Perez, Nancy Weiner, Eric Kripke, and Nancy Won all with 2. Gamble and Edlund each have 1 and Buckleming sort of have 1 since they introduced apocalypse world Charlie. All of this is quantity not quality, so keep that in mind.

As far as deaths go, Bobo has the most with 3.5. 3 of those are from Despair where the characters were all (possibly) resurrected and the .5 is for Kaia who later turned out to not actually be dead. Yockey has 2 (both from Ouroboros). Edlund, Glynn, Perez, and Gamble all have 1 and Dabb also has .5 for cowriting Wayward Sisters.

The LGBTQ character who appears in the most episodes is very obviously Castiel who appears in 142 total episodes. Chuck is next with 19 and then Charlie with 7. Chuck has the most episodes as a confirmed LGBTQ character with 12 total and Charlie has 7.

Apologies if any of the math on this is wrong or if I left anyone out. Feel free to let me know and I'll correct the documents.

So really I don't know why I did this but basically yeah I don't know what fantasy world those reddit dudes are living in with LGBT people in nearly every episode (unless he's counting Castiel which...win for the gays I guess?). Nothing about this was particularly surprising but it's interesting to see all these things laid out and play around with the categories. Um...hope you enjoyed this i guess. lol

#supernatural #spn #spn meta #castiel #charlie bradbury #long post #also thank you robbie thompson you gave us 7 total gays and did not kill a single one #good job king

[linedwithtangents]

this might be some unapologetic deangirlism and the answer is probably pure queerbait reasons but it is insane to me how few times we ever really see sam interact with queerness. that is almost always put on dean.

there’s the obvious examples: early seasons hunter cosplayers who are dating, aaron hitting on dean as his gay thing, etc where it’s dean alone. but even when sam is involved or it’s a “family” thing dean is always the one that is dealing most directly with gayness: thinking about this post where we see literally half of the mentions of gay in the whole fucking show are by dean. and like we know this, we’ve been over this, we make our dean mirrors gay any time it’s fucking possible (claire?? like??) but what i’m thinking about is that i really can’t think of a time where we ever see sam interact directly with queerness. like he’s at the table with jesse and cesar and dean but dean is the one who’s asking about them about being gay. sam is also friends with charlie but clearly charlie and dean have a much closer friendship. to the extent that sam is like, ever really made to specifically interact with queerness it’s mostly when he’s a) with dean being confused as part of a couple b) being called gay by dean in some weird homophobic projection or c) the aforementioned friends-with-gay-people-kinda-because-of-dean. dean is the mirror through which all queerness in the show must be refracted. it almost completely misses sam.

#and this is made all the more interesting by the freak designation of sam in early seasons and the inherent textual queerness in that #but that's like.... queer narrative structure less like. here's explicitly gay shit who is going to interact with this #and i just think it's interesting that sam really does seem to mostly avoid it in any direct way #where dean is kinda near constantly being confronted with queerness #maybe i'm missing something major here but #spn meta #supernatural

[kissingcullens]

In the spirit of Sam and Cas being Weird Girl Best Friends and spending their spare time just hanging out, chatting about Angel Stuff and doing the odd experiment on Sam’s body—

A fanfic where they’re making conversation, Castiel describing what human experiences he finds underwhelming or unsettling— and which ones he actually enjoys, what he’d like to experience for the first time, etc.

And of course the topic of sex comes up-

“I haven’t had many “normal sexual experiences,” you might say. But I have enjoyed sex.”

“Oh yeah? Not a Peanut Butter and Jelly situation?”

“Not at all,” Castiel replies, “In fact I’ve been making a list of things I’d like to try, sexually, now that I have some “Me” time.”

“Ah, that’s great.” Sam smiles, tamping down on his own embarrassment around any frank discussion of sex. “It can be hard to meet people in our line of work, but there’s online dating now- could be a good place to start.”

“Yes. That’s one of the first things on my list; I understand there are cellphone apps specifically for gay men.”

Sam resists the urge to do a double take, but the surprise is clear in his voice, “Oh! You’re...? Interested in guys?”

“Yes.” Cas says, voice even and casual. But Sam sees there is a noticeable tension in Castiel’s body language that anyone else might have missed, “Not exclusively... but I would like the experience.”

Sam thinks, not for the first time, about the tragedy of an Angel learning human shame from a couple of incredibly fucked up human men, and mentally kicks himself.

“That’s cool!” He hurries to say, “I’m the same way... I mean I’m bi, and it’s definitely tougher to meet guys- there’s all these added barriers, you know?”

“Yes.” Castiel visibly relaxes and smiles.

Sam smiles back- it’s worth the hot embarrassment and the exposed feeling to see Castiel at ease again.

Sam huffs out a loud sigh and laughs, “You know what? I can probably count on one hand the amount of times I’ve actually said out loud the words ‘I’m bisexual,’ and almost all those times were when I was at Stanford.”

Castiel looks at him gravely, “I’m glad you trusted me with the information. I know that humans have... baggage around this.”

“Yeah— you too, Cas.” Sam smiles at him, then frowns, adding, “And I mean... Dean knows, it’s not a secret or anything. But we... we don’t really talk about it, you know?”

Castiel nods. “I understand.” After a few more threads of conversation, Cas digs out his phone, “Would you like to see my list? Let me know if you think I’m missing anything.” And he and Sam pore over Castiel’s Notes App list of “Sex Stuff to Try.” Which brings Sam to tears of laughter, Castiel frowning and asking “What’s funny?”

A few months later, after Cas has several disastrous internet dating encounters, they’re both hanging out in Sam’s room (as is their habit these days) talking about the latest dating debacle...

Sam, loosened up by beer and the open feeling of total acceptance and comfort he always has when he’s with Cas, suddenly exclaims,

“Hey!! What if WE had sex?”

At Cas’s blank look, Sam immediately shrinks back into himself, “No, you’re right, that’s weird, forget I mentioned it.”

“No, no, I’m not opposed ...it’s definitely an idea.” Castiel’s expression is thoughtful, and Sam relaxes slightly. “I do find you very attractive. But I don’t want you to do anything YOU don’t want to do, just to satisfy my curiosity.”

Sam kisses him.

Or he tries to- his head is swimming and the reality of being alone, buzzed, in his own bed with a hot guy who thinks he’s “very attractive” crashes down on him and he suddenly feels unbearably sexy. But Cas is too surprised to reciprocate, and he pulls away almost immediately, placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder.

“I think you’ve had a little too much.” Cas says gently.

Fuck- Sam feels shame wash over him- WHY had he drank so fucking much? (It wasn’t that much) Was he really SO buttoned up that a few beers and a little bit of sex talk got him embarrassing himself like this?? Why had he even opened his mouth???

Sam sits back and scrubs a hand over his face.

“Shit, I’m sorry...” He clears his throat, “But uh.. having sex wouldn’t be me doing you a FAVOR or something, Cas, I’m... I think you’re attractive too. I mean, I think you’re really hot, and you’re my best friend...” (shit, he IS embarrassing himself) “...but I dunno... I didn’t really think it through, it’s probably a bad idea... I mean it would probably be awkward, right?? I’ve never really done a friends-with-benefits thing.”

“Wouldn’t you know; “an awkward friends-with-benefits-thing” is on my List.” Castiel half-smiles, and Sam has to laugh, “But you may be right... let’s talk about it later and see if it’s something we want to try out.”

“Sorry. Yeah. Shit, I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for, Sam. But I do think it’s time for bed now.”

“Yeah, you uh... sorry, would it make you uncomfortable to be in the same room tonight? I know you’ve been crashing here but I don’t want you to feel like you have to if I made it weird...”

“Not at all,” Cas assures him, then his eyes glimmer wickedly, “Unless that’s your way of saying that YOU need some Alone Time before you can get to sleep.”

Sam hits him with a pillow, “I take it back, you’re not sexy at all, you’re the worst!!”

But they’re both laughing, and Sam’s embarrassment breaks and dissipates into peals of laughter. They’re okay.

Cas does end up leaving to “get some research done,” and if Sam jerks off thinking about “satisfying Castiel’s curiosity” before slipping into boozy sex dreams, well, who can judge him?

Spoiler alert, of course they work it out and the fic is all about them making their way methodically down Castiel’s list of Sex Stuff to Try (with Sam’s own List making an appearance) and of course realizing they’re deeply, deeply in love by the end. ❤️

#Sastiel #sex cw #SamCas #alcohol cw #fluff #supernatural for ts #SPN for ts

[phynali]

more spn discussions, just skip this post y’all

 @queerbluebird​ thanks so much for engaging with my post/reply! i really enjoyed reading your response and i have a long reply here.

i’m responding to your post/reply here rather than reblogging it because honestly that thread is - so long. so very long. 

so first - 

i agree there is a difference between entitlement and what i would call, not promise, but instead “narrative follow-through”. A story that completely lacks narrative follow-through does end up feeling disappointing, or frustrating, or rage-inducing, depending on what’s happened. to me there’s a fundamental difference between critiquing a story based on follow-through and bad storytelling (which your post aims to do), versus say, creating hashtag campaigns about a character being silenced because and spreading conspiracy theories about a bad dub (among other things honestly).

and also - queerbaiting totally sucks, we definitely do agree on that.

where we disagree, i think are these two core points:

i do not see the narrative build-up that demands a follow-through. i do not see supernatural as having built up to the story that many destiel shippers seem to think was there, and no one has ever been able to point out to me any actual textual reasons that do craft that narrative build-up  

i fundamentally do not believe that destiel was ever a queerbait. queerbait involves active intent on the part of creators to tease a ship or queer representation in order to draw in $ from queer audiences without ever making it canon, so as not to alienate straight audiences. so, refering to point 1., i do not see the canon text as having laid the groundwork for a queerbait and those romantic tropes, at least not at any point in the past 7 years. and beyond the canon, the writers and producers and jensen ackles all indicated dean was straight, and that they were not writing a romance. if anyone queerbaited the fans, it was misha collins who kept teasing the possibility, and personally i would argue that was irresponsible of him. but that’s a different discussion altogether and tends to piss people off when it’s framed as such, because misha means a lot to them and it hurts to see the man who validated their feelings get criticized for the manner in which he validated them. so i’m gonna leave that aside.

beyond that, I want to engage with some of your specific quotes:

Supernatural loves to say “wait for it.” And I don’t think it’s entitled to feel betrayed if an author uses their story to say “wait for it” in order to convince you to stick with their story and then delivers the opposite after you do.

May i ask, where was the “wait for it” with destiel? this ties in directly to the queerbaiting. i indicated in my post/reply that while i see it from cas, there’s been little to no hint of any reciprocation of feelings from dean, and if anything the past 7 or so years have driven the point home that it isn’t happening. i personally am not able to see the “Wait for it” and that was the point of my question. without the “Wait for it”, i also can’t see the queerbait. 

I asked for specifics and while i totally get not having the spoons, you provided a few:

(off the top of my head for Dean though, the mixtape, his response to Cas’ death at the end of 12, subsequent grief arc, and reaction to Cas’ return in the front half of 13 rank highly. His reaction to Lucifer’s prank call in 15x19 might rate, but maybe just because it’s so recent.)

not trying to be unkind here, but i quite genuinely don’t see any of these examples as framing cas and dean in a romantic light, or as hinting at a “what if”. the mixtape is like.... okay, maybe. i had read that as being symbolic of something else, but i can see wanting to read it from a shipping lens. (i don’t however think i’d read it as baiting or “what if” - it was quite textually not framed that way. shipping, 100%, but canon build-up, not for me).

for the other examples -- grieving for someone you consider family? and being happy when they come back? that’s not shippy to me. i mean - contrast the grief he showed over cas’s death compared to his grief over, say, mary? or, less extreme, charlie? and nothing compared to how off the rails he goes when sam is dead or he thinks sam is. so i -- i just can’t see those as creating a narrative that demands a follow-through. and when your friend who is dead calls your phone? of course you hop to the door - i don’t know what is romantic about that. sam would’ve hopped just as quick if “cass” had called his phone instead.

and look - i see what is fun to ship about all that. if i shipped it, i’d be happily collecting these moments with a smile and grinning to myself about how cute they are and much they mean. but shipping it vs. it being romantically framed in the canon are two fundamentally different things. shipping doesn’t imply narrative buy-in or deliberation from the creator.

moving on, you also spoke at length about 15x18:

15x18 made the sort of statement that drew back even people who did exactly what OP said they should do, turning off the TV years ago. It wasn’t a quiet “if you’re still watching, keep waiting,” so much as a shouted “hey we’re gonna do this thing, watch this!”

i guess destiel fans vs. those of us who don’t ship it really see this as fundamentally different. because you discuss that moment as one which requires follow-through, and say that if this were heteronormative m/f love declaration, there would be that expectation of follow-through. not necessarily reciprocity, but more - more conversation, more acknowledgment, more something.

(i mean - if there was more, but that more was “hey i love you too but only platonically, sorry man” would that be better?)

but no - i actually just... disagree with your point on that front. i can see why you feel the way you do and i acknowledge that it can be read as the start of a conversation. to me though -- and clearly, now that the finale is out, how the writers saw it -- that was actually the end of a conversation. the end of, like you pointed out, 12 years. a 12-year conversation that ends in a gorgeous declaration of love, and specifically how love isn’t about being together, it’s simply about being - it’s about the fact that you love someone, and that feeling alone is the most beautiful thing in existence.

to me, that declaration can only be written and interpreted as an ending.  a sacrifice, a declaration, and a goodbye. so - while i kind of expected seeing more people in episode 20 and realize that didn’t happen largely due to covid - i’m not disappointed we didn’t see cas, because that culmination of his narrative (and then knowing he was with jack, after, rebuilding the heaven that he rebelled against and finally completing his narrative circle by fixing all the problems with it alongside the good god he sought to find all along) is kind of perfect. 

and i genuinely don’t think if cas was in a female vessel this entire time that that would change. maybe some audience members would feel differently, but i think many of us would see it for the end it was nonetheless. there’s plenty of stories with m/f ships that are one-sided and that character sacrifices themselves for the person they love, so i don’t see why this would be any different (except the bury your gays issue, but that’s a whole other and very real conversation about media tropes).

moving on to the series finale.

As many people have pointed out in praise of 15x20, Sam is the absolute most important thing in Dean’s life, his priority above anything and everything… And yet there, at the actual end of the world, Dean ignores Sam’s call and instead cries over the loss of Castiel. Dean’s loss of Castiel plays in tandem with the loss of literally the whole world. But we’re not to take that as a promise that Castiel means more to this story, or to Dean, than a couple seconds of wistfulness after the dust settles?

I... yeah. i don’t see what this even is arguing. that dean taking a minute to himself to grieve his best friend, who just died in part because dean decided to go hunt down billie (who was literally dying anyway). he’s hurting. there’s nothing about this that’s a promise - it’s an end. it’s grief. it’s the horror of losing someone you care about, and the silence that comes after. it’s fundamentally human in it’s pain. and we, the audience, are invited to grieve with dean.

so I mean - of course cas means more to this story. of course he’s meant more than a few seconds of grief, after 12 years. but just because that’s the last time we see him on screen doesn’t mean we don’t value his story, and celebrate how it too came full circle.

You mention cas as a sort of avatar for a different potential ending for the brothers, and highlight him representing:

An ending where higher powers stop yanking them around and they get to actually live in the life they’ve built for themselves.

So while i never considered cas an avatar for that, i do think we all wanted the brothers to have their freedom. “finally free.” so we can agree on wanting that end. but we disagree on whether it was delivered, i guess? because i feel it was.

you also talk about what you and many other fans conceivably wanted a happier ending to look like. can i -- i’m going to be totally honest. i have not seen a single person who’s critiquing the end saying “i just wanted sam and dean to grow old hunting together with their dog until they retire together and die of old age.”

would that be satisfying to those who are mad about the end? i personally don’t think so, but maybe my opinion is being coloured by the most vitriolic fans i’ve seen. if sam and dean got to have the life they wanted free of chuck, and dean didn’t die, and they kept going (or retired and opened a bar together!). maybe sam still had a kid, but again because romance wasn’t the point, the wife wasn’t important and they left her blurry still so we could interpret ourselves if she was a wife or a co-parent or a surrogate or what. maybe dean has a kid too, with a similar question-mark-wife. maybe we get a few images of them having a holiday with jodie and the girls. and then getting to heaven together in old age, greeting bobby with a beer, and going for a drive.

would that be an end that wouldn’t cause fandom uproar? i would enjoy it, soft an slightly discordant as it would be to me. i prefer the ending we got, bittersweet and heartbreaking though it was, but i wouldn’t be taking to social media to yell about it if we got a softer epilogue, so to speak.

on the other hand... would that still not be enough, at least not for so many of the angry fans? i’m genuinely unsure. it seems to me that so much of the ire is about destiel itself, even if people are pretending it’s about more and other things than that. not everyone, but like, a big portion of them. which leads me to believe that nothing short of dean and cas at least interpretable as together is what they wanted. if every other single thing about the existing finale was the same except that cas was the one to greet dean instead of bobby, and even with the same basic dialogue, without discussing the confession, but they have a lingering smile, and dean leaves to drive and wait for sam with the promise he’ll see cas later - 

if everything else stayed the same except who greeted dean, i genuinely don’t believe i’d be seeing almost any critique of the finale on my dash. maybe i’m cynical, but that’s where i’m at.

which is part of why i really struggle to believe that people are engaging in good faith when they critique the finale. because i feel like if it offered them either a) everything they’re purportedly asking for but still no cas and zero hint of destiel, vs. b) every other thing they claim to hate stays the same except there’s a wink and nod to destiel - i believe they would take the wink and nod. 

   On to some other things you raised:

But how can you know to walk away from a tragedy if the tragedy says “the end won’t be a tragedy, keep watching” right up until it ends in tragedy?

Oh i Get this. I hate thinking i’m consuming fun media only for it to rip my heart out at the end. i’ve literally - well, i’ve had a very unpleasant and distressing experience of this, actually. so i get it. also the opposite: i sometimes feel disappointed when i’m consuming media that is gripping and intense and painful, but then the end is too easy, too soft and happy?

BUT - supernatural never pretended it would have a happy end? the end was so. much. happier. than i ever expected. the Swan Song end was going to have Sam in hell being tortured by lucifer for eternity. according to something i read which i am fundamentally too lazy to link because who knows if it would have turned out this way but -- kripke was apparently going to have Dean jump in the cage with him at that end, if the series ended on S5? the ‘horror’ ending. completely devastating sacrifice for mankind (sam), and completely devastating sacrifice for his brother (dean). just -- oof. even if that wasn’t the plan and the series would’ve ended as the episode did - sam was still in the cage and cas was off waging war in heaven and dean was living every day knowing he was alive and his brother was being tortured.

i’m sorry if you thought you were watching a happier show. i know how much that hurts. that doesn’t mean the story was actually that happy though. sometimes, it’s on us as consumers to acknowledge we were misreading the media. i’ve had to do this. it’s hard, it hurts, but it helps you consume things healthier. i’ve had to do this growing recently, and i’m better off for it.

regarding the specific manner of dean’s death - that’s really not what my post was about and i’m not gonna address it here. i’ve talked about it elsewhere and so have others, and @lovetincture‘s original post spelled it out beautifully, in how human it was. i have feelings on how and why i loved dean’s death, and why it was the absolute opposite of what Chuck’s ending was and what he wanted (no blaze of glory), but i’ll leave those for another time.

They cast aside all the relationships they’ve built. [...] They lost/walked away from the life and home they built in the bunker. Dean got a season 1 death. Sam got a season 1 life.

I feel that there is a very huge difference between regression and progression when it comes to cyclical storytelling. And that difference seems to be missing from the ongoing discussions i’ve seen about this in fandom.

Coming full circle to season 1 does not at all mean that the development is ‘undone’ or that the story has regressed or that anything has been lost or destroyed. It can mean that, if the storyteller doesn’t know what the hell they’re doing, but in this case i don’t (personally) feel it’s a fair critique.

Dean’s death might parallel his s1 not-quite death from Faith, but the s15 result of that death is night and day. Dean is no longer alone. Dean does not go up to a lonely heaven filled with bittersweet memories, where even his canonical soulmate and him have wide gulfs between the memories they fill their shared heaven with. Dean dies a hunter, but he dies a hunter who literally saved earth and changed heaven and gets to spend eternity with his brother, side-by-side and together without all the pain and miscommunication, and he gets to see his family and loved ones too. he died having literally made the world so much better.

even without that though?

his story comes full circle, but dean’s character development isn’t about his death, it’s about the fact that in the first several seasons dean could hardly admit he cared without acting like his teeth were being pulled. he was too afraid of abandonment to ask for someone to be by his side. he was too afraid of rejection to let anyone in. and in the end? he asks sam to stay. he tells him that he loves him. he pours his heart out and says all the things that 15 years ago were stoppered in his throat, words trying and failing to claw their way free but his hurt and fears were too deep.

dean is free.

the point of dean’s story coming full circle to season 1 parallels was specifically to highlight this incredible development, not to undermine it. he is different. he is free. 

god it makes me tear up just thinking about how happy i am for him despite how gutted i was by that scene??

(i could write a similar analysis for sam, about how he left for stanford to escape his life and how his finale life montage bits were the opposite of that, but honestly this post is long enough already).

Destiel is loosely a part of that promise in the sense that Castiel is a part of that promise. The symbol of free will

You make a super interesting argument about Cas being a symbol of free will. I don’t have much to say about it, because I’m gonna mull it over, because I think it’s kinda cool and I’ve never thought about it.

That’s - all i’ve got. thanks again for engaging. i’m happy to continue the convo if you have questions or want to reblog/reply 

(though my followers might hate me omg, i’ve been spamming long spn meta posts for weeks now, it’s just been so confronting to see the ongoing fan reaction on twitter and how divided it is...)

#spn meta #supernatural #supernatural meta #spn #fandom discussions #uhhh what do y'all want me to tag this #it's not wank? #it's an open discussion which i like a lot #hmmm #discourse #i'll just go with that #destiel #kind of #this won't show up in the ship tag because that's not in the first 5 tags so i'm safe i hope #don't wanna be a dick and put this in the ship tag #long post #long post for ts #sorry if there are typos it is almost midnight and i am sleepy

[rocksandrobots]

Of Rocks and Robots Ch 31 - Karaoke Night

Carol propped her feet up on the porch railing and leaned back in her chair. She let out a contented sigh as she reached into the bag of chips to feast upon the salty snacks.

She was waiting for Varian and his friends from SFIT to arrive. Midterms had just ended and Varian had invited her to come with them to karaoke, knowing how she loved singing.

Carol didn't really know any of his other friends, though she had met the tall girl, Honey Lemon, a few times, but she was always keen to meet new people and even more keen to party, so she had readily agreed.

Right now she was killing time and keeping a lookout for the group. Varian mentioned something about a car pool.

Just then a limo pulled up and parked itself between the two houses that made up the sorority and fraternity. Carol curiously peered over her toes to get a better look at the out of place vehicle.

Out stepped a lanky guy with shoulder length blonde hair and wearing a baggy Kentucky Kaiju t-shirt and knitted beanie. She figured it was one of Brad's snobbish friends come to see him, or perhaps a new prospective student signing up to join the frat. Though he didn't look like the usual preppy rich kids that hung around the frat house. Must be one of those guys who wears things ironically, she thought and rolled her eyes before going back to eating.

She then almost fell out of her chair when she saw Varian also step out of the limo as well. Her mouth dropped. What other secrets did this kid have?

She then looked down at the crumbs of potato chips down her shirt; suddenly embarrassed. She ducked and scrambled back into the house while Varian and the other guy exchanged some friendly words.

                                                 ------------------------

Varian walked up the porch steps of the sorority house and knocked on the door. It opened almost immediately. He gave a wide grin upon seeing Carol but before he could say 'hello' her hand shot out, grabbed the front of his shirt, and dragged him inside.

She slammed the door close and ran to the window to peer out from behind the curtain.

"Who's that?" She whispered hurriedly as she pointed to the window.

Confused and now completely knocked off guard Varian walked over to look out to where she was pointing.

All he saw was Fred standing next to the limo waiting on them. The other teen was singing a made up song about being a superhero under his breath and rocking back and forth on his heels impatiently.

"Oh that's just Fred. We took his limo because it had more room for everybody than Wasabi's car." Varian explained.

"His limo?! You didn't tell me you were friends with a millionaire!" She snapped back in a hushed tone, as if she was afraid the other boy could hear them from across the street outside.

Varian could only blink back bewildered. Why was that a problem?

Carol rolled her eyes and went back to watching Fred.

"Does he go to SFIT, too?" She asked, never looking away from the window, "Is he one of those super smart guys?"

"No, Fred's not in college."

"Oh, don't tell me; he's in high school." She responded back sarcastically.

"Umm… no. I think he graduated from homeschool this year." Varian blithely answered. He didn't see how it mattered what school Fred went to or if he went at all.

Carol tilted her head, "Wait, so is he closer to my age or yours?"

Varian thought a moment, "Uh, yours... I think he had a birthday just a couple of months back."

"Soooo he's what.. eighteen then?"

"Uh yeah, just a year younger than you." Varian scratched head, he still didn't understand Carol's odd behavior. "Look, I'm sure he can answer all these questions himself." Varian walked towards the door as he tried to coax Carol to come along. "Why don't you come on out and meet him-"

"Is he single?"

Varian paused mid-sentence and looked at Carol in surprise. The girl hadn't moved away from the window and was still peering through the curtain.

"Umm...Yeeesss." Where was this going?

"Is he gay?" Was the next the next question.

"Uhhhh...."

"Like, he is into girls or boys?" She hastily explained.

"I, honestly don't know." Varian slowly answered. Who Fred might prefer to date was not anything he had considered before, and not a subject of conversation that had ever come up.

She finally stopped looking out the window and instead looked down at the sweater she currently wore. Then to his surprise she turned on her heel and ran upstairs.

"Wait! Carol where are you going?" He yelled after her as he followed her upstairs.

"Everyone's waiting for-" He was interpreted again by a bra to the face as soon as he stopped in front of her room. Followed by a series of other assorted clothes being thrown his way. Dresses, shirts, shoes, were flung in his general direction as Carol blindly tore through her chest of drawers. One particularly floofy dress landed on his head and hung there as he stood momentarily stunned.

"Ugh! I have nothing to wear!" She shouted in frustration.

Varian tried to gather his wits again and pulled the dress off the top of his head. "What's wrong with what you got on?" He asked.

"This thing?" She asked incredulously back. "This ain't impressive. I need something that'll wow him."

Varian once again looked confused. "Who?"

"Who? Who do you think?" She rolled her eyes but failed to explain further. She then held up two dresses and asked. "Which do you think is better? The tight black one that's off shoulder, or the fun summery one with the flowers that shows off more leg?"

Varian darted his eyes back and forth at the two dresses, still utterly lost as to what was happening.

"Umm.. I'm not a fashion expert."

She sighed with exasperation. "Which do you think Fred will like better?"

"Fred? Fred's not going to care what you wear." He snorted.

Carol looked offended, "Oh you don't think a guy like that might be interested in me, hun? He's out of my league just cause I'm not some preppy uptown girl who buys Gucci handbags!"

"What? No!" Now Varian was even more lost, and not just because he didn't know what a 'gucci handbag' even was." No, I just meant you look good in anything. Also Fred's not like that. He doesn't care about clothes or handbags. I'm not even sure he cares anything about dating."

Carol stopped holding up the dresses and gave a pout. "You really don't think he'll care?"

"Why would he?"

"Cause everyone else does. I got into this school and the sorority house on a scholarship. I won a grant, but a lot of the other girls are here 'cause they got money or their family knows the dean or some crap like that." She sighed and hugged her knees. "It's the same with guys over at the frat house. Most of them are nice enough but, it's hard to feel like you fit in when you're still buying your clothes from the bargain bin over at the Goodwill."

"Naw, Fred's not like that at all, and neither are any of my other friends. Just wear what you want."

He gave her an encouraging smile and she returned it with a small one of her own.

"Okay." She conceded. "Then I want to wear the one with the flowers." She held up the dress again.  

"Fine, then I'll be down stairs waiting." Varian gave a mock sigh of frustration before they both broke out into giggles. He then headed down stairs to let her change.

                                                ------------------------

Yamasho was a sushi restaurant that held karaoke night every weekend. It was the typical hole in the wall that locals from the neighborhood frequented. Nothing fancy but decent food when on a budget and the family owned establishment took good care of it's regulars.

The gang of college students were given a large table near the stage. Well it was actually two tables shoved together to accommodate the large group, who sat around eating, laughing, and just enjoying the freedom from their studies fnow that midterms were over with.

Karmi walked over to the table to join her friends carrying with her a black three ring binder.

"I got the song list book!" She said as she handed the folder to Hiro.

"I'm not sure if I'll sing anything, but I'll take a look."

"Oh, but ya got to!" Karmi urged as she took a seat next to him and peered over his shoulder at the list of songs. "That's the whole point of karaoke night, silly."

"Why? So you can post my embarrassingly bad singing online?" Hiro shot back good naturedly.

"If she won't then I will." Varian quipped. He leaned in to look at the booklet as well. "So how does this 'karaoke' work anyways?"

"You pick a song off this list and give it to the DJ over there." Karmi pointed to a man standing next to the stage with a soundboard and computer.

"Then when he calls you up on stage he'll play the music and you just sing along with it." Hiro explained. "There's also a screen that'll flash the lyrics up in case you forget the words."

Varian scanned the listing looking for something familiar. "Does it have to be a song from this list specifically?"

"Sometimes the DJ will do special requests," Wasabi added in, "but it might not have the words on screen if he does."

Just then the piece of nigiri Wasabi held fell from between the chopsticks and landed on his shirt. This ignited laughter from the group and cry of frustration from the larger guy as he furiously tried to wipe off the stain.

"Oh, that's right!" Honey Lemon said through a giggles, "this where you got your nickname from. Remember? It was last year we came here right after midterms."

"I remember," Gogo confirmed, "it was our first semester and we wanted to celebrate."

Fred chuckled. "Yeah old Wasabi had butter fingers then too." He turned to Carol to explain since she was new, "We hounded him for days about it and the name just stuck."

"So wait, your name isn't actually Wasabi?" Varian asked.

"No. Do you honestly think my mother named me after a condiment?" Wasabi snapped back.

Varian shrugged. "I don't know. I don't know what the usual naming convictions in America is. In Corona, I once knew a girl who was named after lettuce, ok."

"So what is your real name? I've never heard anyone one call you anything else but Wasabi either." Karmi asked.

"Noel."

Hiro snorted as he tried to contain his laughter "Noel?" He inhaled deeply and opened his mouth wide as if to belt something else out, but was interrupted by Wasabi.

"I know you're not about to start singing a christmas carol right now, or I'll have to shove this whole nori roll into your mouth." He said in a deadpan voice that told everyone present that he heard the joke before.

Hiro quickly snapped his jaw shut and swallowed hard. "Noooo, n-not all buddy." He squeaked. "Noel is….is a... festive name."

Wasabi raised an annoyed eyebrow at him and Hiro plastered on an apologetic grin.

"Sooo, how did you two get your nicknames?" Carol chimed in hoping to change the subject.

"Well I have this favorite lotion that I always like to wear," Honey Lemon chirped, "its lemon and honey scented, and so Freddie…

"So I started calling Honey Lemon," Fred joined in."cause she smells just as sweet as her personality."

"Awe thank you," she blushed, "My real name is Amanda, but I really like the nickname so it's what I go by all the time now."

"Oh, so that's what I smell whenever you fall asleep on.. me-" Varian paused in this realization as everyone turned to look at him. He coughed and started to stuff his face with sushi to distract from his faux pas.

"Ok then…" Carol laughed, "So what about you Gogo? What's your real name?

"Lei."

"Lei?" Karmi asked. "But that's actually shorter than Gogo. Why not just go by that instead?"

The biker chick only shrugged and pointed back towards Fred.

"Cause she's always on the go, ya know." Fred explained.

"I don't really care what people call me." Gogo added. "I'm still Lei to my dad and Gogo to my friends."

"Well then Gogo," Hiro asked as he passed the song folder down, "are you going sing anything?"

"No."

"Oh come on Gogo; it'll be fun." Honey Lemon encouraged.

"Nope."

"Then I'll pick something out." Fred grabbed the binder from her. He glanced over it's contents and said, "I think I wanna do a rap song."

Hiro snorted, "You can rap?"

"Sure I can rap. " He said indignantly.

"I'm not sure if I'd call what you do 'rap'." Wasabi interject.

"Oh yeah, well then just watch this." And with that Fred got up and walked over to the DJ, taking the binder with him.

"Rich and talented" Carol mused after he was out of ear shot, "I'm surprised none of you are dating."

Gogo burst into laughter. "You mean Fred? Oh, no noooo no; that's big nope. You haven't known Fred very long."

Carol frowned.

"We all love Freddie," Honey Lemon interceded, " He's a great guy. It's just...sometimes he can get a liiiitle…"

"Insane." Gogo said.

"Intense!" Honey Lemon quickly corrected and then paused as she realized this was perhaps not the best alternative. "No. Wait. That's not the right word...hmm…Passionate! Yes. He's a very passionate person."

"He's also insane." Gogo whispered to Carol.

That's when Fred walked on stage and picked up the microphone.

                                               ------------------------

The night went on. Everyone sang, laughed, and carried on as young people do. Then it was time to head home.

They dropped Carol off first at the sorority house.

"Here let me get out first." Fred said as he opened the limo door and stepped out, "that way you can get out easier with having to crawl all over me." He reached a hand out to help her and Carol grabbed it as she scooted across the long seat to get out.

"My you are quite the gentlemen, ain't ya?" She flirted as she stepped out of the car. She flashed him a wide grin but Fred didn't catch on to her meaning behind the words.

"Ah, I try." He shrugged obliviously.

Varian got out as well. "Well good sir, if you would be so kind as to leave the car running." He said in a mocking manner, imitating the upper nobility he'd sometimes see in court.

Fred caught on to the joke and put on his best fake upcurst accent. "Indubitably, abd will that be all my lord?" He gave a mock bow and they both broke out into snickers.

Carol rolled her eyes and started to walk off, irritated that Varian had gotten in the way.

He followed after.

"I don't need you to walk me to the door you know." She said under her breath.

"I know, I just…"

"Just what?" She reached the porch and whirled around. "We aren't dating, remember?"

"I..I know." Varian looked surprised. "I just figured since I asked you to come along I should be the one to say goodnight to you." He awkwardly explained.

Carol crossed her arms.

"Did I do something wrong?"

She sighed. "I don't want Fred to think we're a couple."

Varian turned back to look at the other teen. He spotted them both looking at him and waved. "Goodnight. It was nice meeting you." He yelled.

She smiled and waved back.

"You..you really like him?" Varian asked.

"Well yeah," Carol said."He's nice, and the fact that he can afford to spring for a taco now and then doesn't hurt either."  

She paused as if a thought occurred to her. "You think I'm being shallow."

"What? No. If you like him that's great. Hey, that's two friends of mine who get along. Wh-what's not to like about that."

She raised an eyebrow. "You jealous?"

"No." He pouted. "It sure didn't take long to get over me though." He joked.

Carol laughed, "Awww, I'm sure you've broken plenty of hearts."

"Who me? Yeah right." Varian scoffed. He then became thoughtful. "I haven't had many chances to meet people until I came here."

"Well of course not. You're only sixteen." She rolled her eyes and then smiled. "You've got plenty of time to find love."

Varian only returned a half smile."Yeah...time…that's also something I always feel like I'm running out of."

"Ugh, I know. Midterms were killer this year, and we gotta do it all again in a few more weeks for finals." He turned and walked back towards the door. "Night. This was fun. Next time y'all decide to do something like this be sure to invite me again."

"We will."

"Oh and if you could maybe find out what Fred thinks of me between now and then? Maybe drop a hint or two…"

Varian rolled his eyes, "I'm not playing messenger."

Carol stuck out her bottom lip and gave a pleading look.

"Fine." Varian conceded. "But unless you're waving a comic book in front of his face I don't think you're going to get him to notice." He warned.

"Comic book fan, gottcha." She dismissed the warning. "There's tons of guys here who are into those. There's even a sequential art program here at the school."

"You don't get it. Fred doesn't just like comic books...he lives comic books. You should see his room."

"Oooh should now?" She teased.

"I didn't mean… forget it."

She laughed again, "I thought you weren't jealous?"

"I'm not." He said defensively. "Look I'll ask, but just don't get your hopes up, that's all I'm saying. Fred's...well…he.. doesn't pick up hints very well."

"So I need to be even more obvious?"

"Or just more up front."

She furrowed her brow in thought. "Hmmm...ok, then I'll keep that in mind for next time. Thanks again, Varian, your a good friend and night."

He returned the farewell as she closed the door.

#Varian #Tangled #Fred Frederickson IV #big hero six #crossover #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #big hero 6 #bh6 the series #bh6