#why am i doing it to myself

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[originalartblog]

Apparently much-needed reminder that reposting artists' art (by saving the images or screenshotting them and reuploading them yourself) on other platforms without the artists' expressed permission and without credit is theft and an insult to their passion and craft. You are profiting (in views, in attention, in feedback) from someone else's work and ideas, who do not get that feedback for sharing their creation.

If you are an art reposter, you are a thief and I have no respect for you.

#learn basic internet etiquette i am begging but also holding a knife. yes i'm mad. more about others than myself. #do you know how many artists i have seen leave social media because their art started being reposted all over? #tip: way too fucking many #i've had many people tell me about people reposting my art on tiktok #no one ever asked to repost my art on tiktok. ever. they just save super fried bad crunchy jpegs of my art and repost them #they get 20k likes and don't even bother naming me #also a reason i started signing my name more legibly and why my blog web address is always there but apparently no one can even read that #a few people got an ok for translations on other platforms though #i'm going to be annoying with this post and reblog it a few times to try to catch the people who apparently need to be told #tiny skk adventures #nawy's comics #nawy's doodles #apparently those are reposters' favourites so here look at this

[obsob]

the accolade ( the...the cat-olade...)

#mine #original #i cannot even begin to explain the anguish. the torment. this drawing has brought me #and i STILL dont like it. i simply cant work on it any longer i cant i cant. i must be rid of it #eating drywall as we speak #you want to know how many weeks ive worked on this. THREE. ALMOST. #you want to know how long my other cat drawings take me ?? 3 days absolute MAX #anyway. begon foul creature etc #i havent left extremely long tags for a long while hello everyone good lord there are many of you #we are going stratford this weekend very exciting #its going to be a little chilly and i want to take my new coat with me but issue its not chilly right now so i cant wear it onto the train #i do not think. i can. stuff it into my suitcase i dont think that will happen #i am sure i will figure it out #also. no longer vegan . eggs have won me over. egg egg egg. #im having to restrain myself SO hard from buying more wool i want a shawl i want a shawl #i want more cute DRESSES why are nice comfy dresses 10000£ #i look on vinted and its like dresses for popping your pussy in like not. the vibe im going for thank u #anyway. im going to eat crackers now

[hansoeii]

it’s okay, babygirl.

#who's gonna pay my therapy bills #this show ruins me over and over again every week why am i even doing this to myself #but ahhhh joel loves her so much!!!! #thats his kid!!!! #and he was so afraid of caring for her but he can't hide it any longer #UGH #the last of us #the last of us fanart #tlou hbo #tlou fanart #pedro pascal #bella ramsey #joel and ellie #my art

[inklessletter]

"Eyes on me. Yeah. Good boy."

---

Thank you so much for trusting and sticking around.

Steve says thank you 💛

#trust the process #ink's art #stranger things #fanart #steve harrington #i hope you're good and you were prepared for this #no warning this time #I did this and I am still NOT ready for this #why do i do this to myself #anyway #i am this 👌 close to create a multiverse between my own fanarts #linking fanarts to one another #this kind of very much hits like “the deal” #but it's up to you #steve baby #i love you #yellow suits you like no other #you are very much the reincarnation of apollo or something like that #i am c o n v i n c e d #digital art #stranger things fanart #steve fanart

[autisticcharliecale]

Ya know what shout out to butches who wrestle with our butchness because we don’t fit the mold in some way. Butches who aren’t physically strong or naturally caretaking because of physical disability, who need to be cared for, who can’t hold open the door for a femme. Butches with long hair, butches with big hair, butches who express their culture via their hair. Butches who’s masculinity is shaped by their culture, who’s masculinity doesn’t fit the white eurocentric mold. Fat butches, butches with curves viewed as feminine, butches who don’t have skinny, boyish builds. Butches who don’t want to be sexualized, butches on the ace spectrum. Butches who don’t have traditionally masculine interests or mannerisms or whatever. Effeminate butches. Butches who take inspo from gay men. Butches who like the occasional dress or skirt. TRANSFEM BUTCHES!!!!! And any other butches who don’t fit a certain mold!! All butches are good butches and we are all valid.

#I’ve wrestled with butch identity for a long time #Because I’m physically disabled and I am also Jewish and I love my hair and masculinity is Different in the Jewish community #I relate to how gay men do gender and am not traditionally masculine #I am fat and have a “mom bod” type of build #Etc etc #I have put so many standards on myself but why? I know who I am better than anyone. And I know I’m a butch! #It feels right and comfortable on every level #And that is what matters!!! Send post! #Kitty meows #Butch #Butchness #Butch lesbian #Butch identity #butch positivity

[kasieli]

Hear me out: MC and Seb exploring the underwater caves together

#sebastian sallow #hogwarts legacy mc #sebastian sallow x mc #hogwarts legacy #fanart #IM JUST SAYIN #it could be…quite…romantic? #or more? #like listen no one in their right of mind is going to dive in FULL ON ROBES #so realistically speaking #things are coming off #my gal Elly was NOT prepared for this #homegirl is literally just trying to find some armour or something #wow why am I doing this to myself #when I need to WRITE #hell this could even be a scene in an upcoming chapter but NO IM TOO IMPATIENT #this was so hard to draw guys #like I was STRUGGLING #water? #wet skin? #WET CLOTHES ON WET SKIN? #ugh awful

[hinamie]

i have so much band!au content in the pipeline my brain is Rotting but enjoy these two for now

jjk band!au

#my art #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #itadori yuuji #yuuji #ryoumen sukuna #sukuna #fanart #jjk fanart #jjk band!au #every time i dress sukuna i stray further from gods light. what is that. what did i do why did i do that. #the pants...the mullet mohawk..the tanktop that might as well be Off...am i cooking or committing a cardinal sin who can say #i realized that i probably couldnt give him rings bc the priss wouldnt want to scuff his guitar #which goes directly against my religion that says that any modern au sukuna has to b iced up #that being said the bracelets r probably pushing it but he needed /something/ so he can deal. #but oh my god the guitars like dont get me wrong im thrilled w how they turned out but god i wished for death #looks around accusingly whose idea was this >:c (me it was mine) #anyway i am feeding myself on this au this will not be the last u see of it :) #HARD pivot from emo yoi content oops

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

#knitting #no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means #How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles #Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me #Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice #How do I join the pattern cult #I am so confused #I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders #I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources #And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me #I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling? #Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language #And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction

[lobsterfork]

DEATH: change, transformation, transition, endings, rebirth

THE FOOL: innocence, freedom, spontaneity, new beginnings

so i know it's incredibly unlikely, but if any of y'all are in South Australia, these are available to be tattooed (non-repeatable, a one-and-done situation.) bookings via Panko Tattoo. B&G, best suited to thigh and calf. 10% of all proceeds will be donated to the entertainment community fund to support the writers, actors, and creatives currently on strike. come get stabbed, sluts.

thank you so much to everyone, especially @transgenderpirate, who helped with these alignments!

#also lemme know if anyone would be interested in prints #ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #edward teach #blackbeard #blackbonnet #gentlebeard #ed x stede #GOOD FUCKING LUCK TO THE POOR SODS THAT BUY THESE #you are gonna be stuck in that chair for like 8 hours #the details in stede's shirt and ed's hair????? #why do i do this to myself i am not a fine line artist #also death is absolutely the perfect card for ed #you can pry transfemme ed outta my cold dead hands #packing ed's gender identities into my heart like clowns into a car

[kassylin]

Little things used to mean so much to Shelly. I used to think they were kind of trivial. Believe me, nothing is trivial.

#the crow #brandon lee #eric draven #shelly webster #why am i doing this to myself #my edit

[lazylittledragon]

a very good measure for if you ACTUALLY hate yourself and need to work on that is to check if you're on your period and if your hair dye is faded. and if both are true you're probably fine

#ramble #i have been having the Worst week and i've been like #why am i so miserable and hate everything and everyone and myself and everything i do #oh that's why #OH ALSO IF YOU'RE HUNGRY #HANGER CAN RUIN ALL YOUR RELATIONSHIPS IRREPARABLY

[sneez]

pathologic but it's a lost 1920s german expressionist film [id under cut]

[id:

image 1: a digital drawing of a fake poster, using bright colours and rough, painterly brushstrokes. the title, 'pest' (german for 'plague'), is written at the top in spiky black text. in the foreground a man dressed as a tragedian is staring intently at the viewer, his hands raised and splayed as if in horror. in the background, the town is framed against a red sky, with the polyhedron in yellow behind.

images 2 and 3: fake casting sheets for the film, with the names of the actors and the characters they are playing above a black-and-white portrait photograph of them. all the text is in german. in english it reads: 'Pest', a film by Robert Wiene Alfred Abel as Victor Kain Ernst Busch as Grief Lil Dagover as Katerina Saburova Ernst Deutsch as the Bachelor Carl de Vogt as Vlad the Younger Marlene Dietrich as the Inquisitor Willy Fritsch as Mark Immortell Alexander Granach as Andrey and Peter Stamatin Bernhard Goetzke as General Block Dolly Haas as the Changeling Ludwig Hartau as the Haruspex Brigitte Helm as Anna Angel Brigitte Horney as Maria Kaina Emil Jannings as Big Vlad Gerda Maurus as Yulia Lyuricheva Lothar Menhert as Georgiy Kain Asta Nielsen as Lara Ravel Ossi Oswalda as Eva Yan Fritz Rasp as Stanislas Rubin Conrad Veidt as Alexander Saburov and Tragedian Paul Wegener as Oyun Gertrud Welcker as Aspity

image 4: four digital sketches of set designs for various locations. all are strongly influenced by expressionist imagery, using extreme angles, warped perspective, and dramatic shapes. they are labelled 'street 1' (a street lined with houses), 'street 2' (a square with a lamppost and a set of steps), 'polyhedron exterior' (the polyhedron walkway), and 'cathedral interior' (the dais at the far end of the cathedral).

image 5: four digital drawings in a black-and-white watercolour style, showing fake stills from the film. all are similarly distorted and lit by dramatic lighting. the first shows katerina's bedroom, with katerina standing in the centre of the floor. the second shows the interior of an infected house. the third shows daniil staring out of the frame in horror, one hand on his head and the other raised as if to ward something off. the fourth shows an intertitle with jagged white text reading 'the first day' against a dark background.

end id.]

#pathologic #artwork #conrad veidt #(i know there are many other actors but i dont have tags for them my bad) #anyway :D this has been my brain project for the past week or so i have been thinking about it so much #i have so many more things i want to draw for it but i am trying to hold myself back. for the sake of my Wrists #also obviously the cast list is way whiter than it should be for pathologic but german expressionist cinema was not particularly diverse an #i was trying to go for realism so apologies for that #i had so much fun with these i dont normally draw locations because i prefer drawing people but i found it so much more enjoyable #when i could mess around with the perspective and make stuff look wacky. thank you expressionism i love you expressionism #also it goes without saying that i was most heavily inspired by the cabinet of dr caligari (which is why i went with robert wiene. he would #do such a great job i think) #i hope you are all well my friends :D kiss you

[akin0ue]

Tried doing a 'cleaner' style...and it killed me...I am dying...at least it's done

( •᎑•) <- is in immense pain, end his suffering

#anime art #art #digital art #anime #firealpaca #digital illustration #illustration #puella magi madoka magica #madoka kaname #homura akemi #madoka magica fanart #magical girl #i am suffering #why do i do this to myself #end me

[gia-d]

Team W! As in Who let them near the fire rods???

Four, Legend and Hyrule

#linked universe #lu warriors #lu wild #lu wind #my art #lu #Warriors' hair and the Slate made me want to scream in frustration #Why do I do this to myself? #I am genuinely so proud of how Wind turned out tho #I just wanna smoosh his cheeks #Also there is no way that boy lives on the ocean and doesn't have a hell of a tan #anyways #feel free to come yell at me about LU!

[love-letters-i-never-sent]

#heartbreak #i'm sad #i miss u #sadgirl #sad thinking #3 am thoughts #missing you quotes #i miss you #why do i do this to myself #the last of us #it's over #i miss him #ghost of you #moving on #sad thoughts #this hits different #3 am feelings #you broke my heart #excerpt from a book i'll never write