#why did it fuck up my tags god i hate quotes

[ynbabe]

Lockwood & Co. Incorrect quotes, pt.6

Before Lucy 

Y/n: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free: pouring river water in your socks! Anthony: Why would I do that? Y/n: It’s quick, it’s easy, and it’s free!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

*The Squad is eating dinner* George: Can you pass the salt? Anthony: *throws Y/n across the table*

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

George, after Anthony did something stupid: You should have realised, Anthony, if Y/n didn't kill you, I would have.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: When will Ted himself...finally show up to the talk? Anthony: The final boss. George: You guys know TEDtalks stands for technology, entertainment, and design talks, right? Y/n: I will not let Ted hide behind these lies any longer!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, in love: How do you do that? Y/n, after having done something dumb: I'm fearless. George, having introduced the idiots and now regretting it: When we were kids, I saw you run from bees. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad. Y/n: I'm mostly fearless.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: My aesthetic is "would be sentenced to the chair by DEPRAC."

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Who hurt you? Anthony, always on the edge of a mental breakdown: *snorting* What, do you want a list? Y/n, pulling out ALOT of iron/silver weapons: ...Yes, actually.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?! Y/n: Probably because I’m a dangerous sociopath with a long line of violence. Anthony: Oh... George, from across the room: *from across the room* I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: It’s not gonna work, I’m not a snitch. George: Fine, let's try something else. Tag a friend you recently committed a crime with. Y/n: Lmao, @Anthony.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: I hate you. Y/n: Well, according to this picture I drew of us holding hands, that is untrue.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, after a fight with Y/n: The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was changing her name to Y/n.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, grave-robbing: I’m going to hell. Anthony, there for a case: Probably. Y/n: I'll pick you up? Anthony: *nodding* Carpool.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, pissed : Y/n! I thought you were dead! Y/n, back after running away for a year: No, just in deep cover. Anthony, about to lose his mind: ...But it was an open casket. Y/n, little scared now: It was very deep.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Hold on, I can explain! Anthony: Really? Can you now? Y/n: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Since Lucy

George, trying to joke: Hey, Joe said he's coming over this afternoon. Y/n, expecting a ‘delivery’: Cool. George: Do you know who Joe is? Y/n: JOE MAMA! Anthony, not even looking up from his phone: Damn, that backfired.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, just back home: Do you cook? Lucy: I made a cake once. Anthony: Yeah, it was good. Lucy: Really? Anthony: Don’t make me lie twice, Luce.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, back from sneaking around for state secrets: Anthony! For the love of god, please turn down that music. I have a hangover. Anthony, pissed at her: *blasting the mii theme at full volume* That sounds like a you problem, not a mii problem.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony: For most of human history, vehicles had automatic collision avoidance and could even take you home if you were asleep or drunk. But then we got rid of the horse. George: You complete moron. You stupid fucking idiot. "Cars would be better if they could bite and shit" – that was you just now, dumbass. George: "Wouldn't it be cool if cars could piss? Wouldn't it be cool if cars could fuck?" Fuck off. Y/n: It would be cool if cars could fuck. Lucy: We... We still have horses.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Anthony, to Y/n, since they’re sharing a room,: I'm leaving for the weekend, so I hid 100 dollars in your side of the room for food. Clean your side and you will find it.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Lucy: It’s funny how well you and George get along. Didn’t they hate you at first? Y/n: George hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: I just found out from Lucy today that when I ‘died’ and George threw my weapons in the grave, Anthony said, “You should aim one at the coffin to be sure.”

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: I give up. I am so tired. George: Get the emergency supply! Lucy: *carries Anthony and throws him in front of Y/n* Anthony: *smiles* Y/n: AND I AM BACK BABY, LET’S GOOO

#anthony lockwood #anthony lockwood x reader #lucy carlyle #George Karim #lockwood & co #x reader #lockwood x reader

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 12 – OTHER MARVEL SHIPS

CLINT/BUCKY

I Hate Running by copperbadge

Pairing: Bucky/Clint Rating: T Words: 916 Tags: Running, Flirting, Murder Strut

Summary: Clint and Bucky go running. This was a potential mistake.

Reasons why I love it: This fic is so goddamn funny, it cracks me up every single time. Poor Bucky and his moonshine crackpot serum, he never stood a chance. There are so many fantastic lines in this that I can't possibly quote them all, so I hope you go and check this one out, because it's amazing!

Trainwreck Through A Rear Window by flawedamythyst

Pairing: Bucky/Clint Rating: T Words: 9,840 Tags: No Powers, PTSD, Deaf Clint

Summary: Through Clint's big main window, you could see straight across the street and into the apartment opposite, where a man was standing, staring at Clint as if he couldn't believe what he was seeing. When he caught Clint's eye, he just shook his head slowly. -- The guy in the apartment opposite spends way too much time watching Clint make a fool of himself, which wouldn't matter as much if he weren't also smoking hot.

Reasons why I love it: They're so fucking cute, ugh, I can't. Clint The Trainwreck Barton is just the best, I laughed my ass off multiple times. And everyone rooting for him and Bucky from the sidelines is just adorable. The way they finally meet is perfect too. This fic is amazing, and I hope you give it a shot, if you haven't already!

crack the whip, shape-shift and trick by shatteredhourglass

Pairing: Bucky/Clint Rating: T Words: 2,347 Tags: Trans Clint, Protective Bucky, Chest Binding

Summary: “Remember when Tony sat you and Steve and Thor down and started that god-awful PowerPoint Presentation about queer people?” Bucky snorts. “Did he think that they just fuckin’ appeared out of nowhere after the war? Honestly. I nearly shot his computer. Steve liked it.” -- A request from Tumblr for some trans Clint

Reasons why I love it: I would pay good money to see that presentation Tony whipped up. I love Bucky's reaction to Clint's gender identity, and the fluff that follows is pure gold. This fic is lovely, and I hope you give it a shot for yourself!

Maybe If You're Good by circ_bamboo

Pairing: Bucky/Clint Rating: E Words: 3,984 Tags: PWP, Wall Sex, Banter

Summary: "So, we share an ex." Bucky seriously thought about grabbing one of the knives on the counter and stabbing Clint for trying to talk to him before coffee, but he'd promised Steve he wouldn't do that and promised Tony that he wouldn't get any more blood on surfaces that didn't clean easily. (And then there is snark and wallsex.)

Reasons why I love it: Honestly, when Clint flexes, I dare anyone to keep their concentration. This fic is so much fun – Clint and Bucky sassing each other and Bucky teasing the fuck out of Clint is great. And on top of that, the smut is hot as hell. I love this fic to bits, and I bet you will too!

Got Me Lyin' (for your love) by Kangofu_CB

Pairing: Bucky/Clint Rating: T Words: 4,266 Tags: Meet-Cute, Veteran Bucky, Deaf Clint

Summary: Clint advertises himself as a ‘semi-acceptable to totally inappropriate boyfriend for all your family holiday, family dinner, corporate Christmas party, and other fake-dating needs’. It's surprisingly lucrative, especially around Thanksgiving and Christmas, and he is always very clear with his ‘dates’ exactly what he is and isn't willing to do, and anything physical beyond some hand-holding or maybe a light peck on the mouth is completely off the table. So when Natasha asks him for a favor - to help out one of her friends with his own special brand of help, Clint readily agrees. But James 'Bucky' Barnes is nothing like Clint's other clients.

Reasons why I love it: Clint falling head over heels for Bucky's murder strut, we love to see it. I can totally see Clint offering services like this, and I love that bit with Todd in the beginning there. This fic is super funny and sweet, so I hope you check it out for yourself!

Synchronicity by AvaKelly

Pairing: Bucky/Clint Rating: M Words: 7,346 Tags: Avengers Tower, Bed Sharing, Clint Needs a Hug

Summary: James ends up berating himself internally while the meals get ready. He can't stomach any food right now, so he leans onto the counter with his coffee while everyone else eats. That's when Clint stumbles in, eyes half closed and hair in disarray. He's wearing one of James' hoodies, the one Tony's given him as a joke, that says Cyborg on the front and Murderous Kitten on the back, but is surprisingly soft. OR: the one where Clint falls asleep everywhere and James takes it upon himself to carry him to bed.

Reasons why I love it: This one is just beautiful. Bucky slipping so effortlessly into his role as the one who takes care of Clint, giving him everything he needs – I could read that all day. The story beats that touch on their trauma are heart-breaking, but it just makes the fluff that follows all the sweeter. I love this fic, and I highly recommend that you check it out for yourself!

#winterhawk #clintbucky #marvel #fanfic #fic rec #ficrec #fanfic rec #a year in fanfic recs

[galaxy-brain-rasslin]

Just some quick thoughts on All In. There will be spoilers.

Zero Hour

I, 100% did not expect Adam and MJF to win, at all. I expected there to be the initial start of a betrayal or something. I was pleasantly surprised, since I love the two of them.

Aussie Open seems really good. I should probably check out ROH.

Hook is one of my favorite anime protagonists, and Jack Perry has improved so much by being a complete piece of shit.

Also, Taz being hyped up for everything Hook does will literally never get old. Dude just sounds so proud every damn time.

CM Punk vs Samoa Joe

I don't really care a whole lot about CM Punk. I've seen a few of his pre-AEW matches, and I think he cuts a fun promo. I also think he's clearly enjoying himself, which makes watching his matches more enjoyable, in their own way.

That said, watching Samoa Joe just beat the absolute fuck out of Punk for most of the match was beautiful. I missed Joe in the original ROH and TNA/Impact, but his NXT and WWE stuff was so fun. Joe works at such a great pace, too. He literally always feels like a threat.

Seeing "real world championship" in quotes every time they mention CM Punk’s belt always reminds me of when AJ Styles was being announced in WWE as "The Man Who Would Like to be Announced as 'The Face that Runs the Place'"

Golden Elite vs Bullet Club Gold w/ Takeshita

Juice Robinson is my favorite feral little gremlin in pro wrestling.

Jay White is a beautiful piece of shit and I love him for it. He's also so fucking good in the ring.

Takeshita is also fantastic and has been consistently great.

I love how much everyone hates Don Callis.

Golden☆Lovers OTP

Hangman Adam Page is one of all-time favorite wrestlers. Just always happy to see him out there.

Ibushi tried to murder people with his kicks and it was fantastic shit.

A shitty surprise pin on Kenny Omega is absolutely on brand. I was peeved in a good way.

FTR vs Young Bucks

Fuck the Revival. I also like FTR a lot. Been a fan of theirs since NXT, and I loved seeing them draped in gold not that long ago.

I don't always feel like watching a Young Bucks match, but I always enjoy the match when it's done.

FTR and the Bucks were top-tier tag team wrestling today.

I legitimately expected FTR to lose, given the legal troubles that Cash could be facing. Seeing FTR win was a nice surprise.

FTR having arm bands for Brodie Lee, Bray Wyatt, and Jay Briscoe was so sweet, and so sad.

Stadium Stampede

Find someone who loves you as much as Eddie Kingston hates Claudi Castagnoli.

Mox looked so fucking cool walking out.

Oh my god, Trent, why, what the fuck. Please stop.

Someone getting skewers stabbed into their heads will always make me wince and laugh simultaneously.

Penta being walked backstage by medics only to return as Penta Oscuro was amazing shit. Penta is great.

Wheeler Yuta is the perfect person in BCC to be a bloodthirsty little goblin that you want to see eat the pin. He does his job well.

Also Best Friends hugging Yuta only to beat him up was gold.

I lost track of what was happening at least 400 times during the match and I don't care. I was thoroughly entertained.

Dr. Britt Baker, DMD v. Toni Storm v. Saraya v. Hikaru Shida

I assumed Saraya was going to win as soon as I saw her come out to Queen with her entire goddamn family walking out.

Toni Storm is a beautiful disaster.

In the event that Saraya wouldn't be winning, I didn't want Britt to win.

But that's also primarily because I *wanted* Shida to retain. Also, I love that Shida's theme has big 90s X-Men vibes.

Shida in general is just great. She should win every match.

I also just had no real investment in Brit for this match. She just kinda felt like she could have been nearly any other woman from the women's division. She wasn't *bad* by any means, just not someone I was pulling for or against.

I'm curious to see what happens with this implosion of the Outcasts now that Saraya and Toni aren't on good terms.

I dislike Ronnie Radke musically and as a person, so I'm not really thrilled at the idea of hearing Saraya's music more now that she's the champ.

At the same time, given all the shit she's been through, I can't be too mad about them giving her a run.

I still want Shida to have an actual good, long run though. I love her matches.

Christian Cage & Swerve vs. Darby Allin and Sting

Schiavone shouting "IT'S STING" is one of my favorite things in wrestling.

Joker Sting is fun as hell.

Swerve is actually the coolest motherfucker on the entire roster, and it is a literal crime that he doesn't have a belt.

Christian Cage is a menace and I can't get over that he wrestles in a sleeveless turtleneck now.

Darby is here for a good time, not a long time.

Sting is SIXTY-FOUR GODDAMN YEARS OLD AND SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS STUFF.

Darby shouldn't either, but I'm fairly certain he's not even human anymore.

I love Swerve.

I also love Prince Nana.

Getting all of Wembly to shout "Swerve's house" probably felt cool.

This was fun as hell.

Will Ospreay vs Chris Jericho

bruv

Ospreay is so fucking good, dude. Like he's absolutely up there as one of the best to do this. Every match I've seen of his just blows me away.

Jericho is also absolutely one of the most versatile wrestlers of all time. I've seen this man reinvent himself like a dozen times, and every time feels just as natural as the one before it.

If they had Jericho win, there was going to be a riot.

Plz give me more Ospreay matches. Dude can fucking go.

I'm curious to know what happens with Jericho and Sammy now

House of Black vs The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn

HOB walking out with a lantern 😭

The Fireflies 😭

HOB looks so cool in white, holy shit.

I love Julia's hats.

I am not a cop, so obviously I love The Acclaimed.

Billy Gunn coming out in full-on Badd Ass Billy Gunn trunks made me feel like I was 12 again.

I love HOB, but if The Acclaimed didn't win this, after their whole mini arc of Gunn retiring, and Gunn bringing back BABG, I was gonna be mad.

Is there a rule that someone has to wreck Julia's shit every match, because lmao

A lot of fun.

Brody King scares the hell out of me.

Adam Cole vs. MJF

I went into this expecting heartbreak

Adam Cole, who took character inspiration from Handsome Jack from Borderlands 2, comes out sporting some definite Broderlands-vibe gear.

MJF is still wearing BTYBB gear.

MJF as this babyface-leaning thing is actually some of the greatest shit I've ever seen. The whole turmoil over using a weapon feels like Roddy Piper vs Bret Hart.

Cole being a desperate POS to the confused, hurt, and mad MJF was wonderful.

The tombstone onto the announce desk with metal reinforcement was brutal on my knees as a viewer.

lol Roddy. lmao.

MJF and Cole almost having a total falling out after the match was amazing.

Cole opting not to slam the AEW belt into MJF's head after the match, and they hug instead? Cinema.

Was I still deeply concerned that there was going to be a betrayal literally up until the PPV feed stopped? Oh hell yes. I watched Ciampa turn on Gargano after the little copyright stuff showed up in NXT. I will *still* be concerned about that until the moment it happens.

That said, I genuinely don't want it to happen because these dudes work so well together. They're just so fucking dorky in the best way.

Misc. Other Thoughts

I missed whatever happened with Miro and Hobbs, because I just missed the whole first hour of Zero Hour.

Apparently there was Drama involving Punk and Jack Perry-- I guess related to the use of actual glass in the windshield of the car that Hook and Perry wrestled on? Whatever. Punk isn't why I watch this stuff, but I would rather Perry not get screwed.

Why did they keep panning over to Mercedes Moné if she wasn't gonna do anything other than vibe to The Acclaimed's theme?

That being said, I was loving the wig she had on. I've been liking the shorter-cut wigs compared to the long-ass stuff she was wearing as Sasha Banks

A lot of people kept expecting Edge to show up at some point. I'm pretty sure I saw somewhere that his contract was extended.

Overall, this was, in all honesty, probably the best wrestling PPV I've ever watched. And, thanks to the invention of VHS tapes in my youth and the WWE Network as an adult, I have seen a *lot* of PPVs. This felt bigger than any Wrestlemania I've watched. I can't compare it to Wrestle Kingdom because I've never actually seen one of those all the way through. But it had numerous people who have been in Wrestle Kingdom matches, which were great.

I'm just annoyed that All Out is next goddamn week, because I don't want to shell out $100 in two weeks for this stuff.

Regardless. I love wrestling. We are in one of the greatest eras of pro wrestling, if not *the* greatest. What a time to be a fan.

#all elite wrestling #aew all in #aew spoilers #pro wrestling

[albatris]

what's up everyone

it's nanowrimo day three and I am not at all doing a nanowrimo update but here r some words from my camp nano doc that I sifted through today for some reason lol. have some quinn n alex from that one flashback

todays mood is priccccckly and today's jam is "the reckoning" by dom fera

tags tags?

@nicola-writes @saturniiforme @polyaubergine @tracle0 @goosemixtapes @valence-positive @the-one-who-makes-negative-noise @ambiguousfiction @afoolandathief @softboiled-doomdesire @mecharose @vellichor-virgo @flapuflapu @distortion-heart @multi-lefaiye @writeouswriter @itisi-asimplegay @constellationof0rion @writing-is-a-martial-art @midnight-and-his-melodiverse @starry-winter-skies

Alex had been in pain for a long time. Long enough for the pain to become almost muted, almost boring, almost painless. Now every tiny shred of utterly mundane agony Alex had long since let fade into the background suddenly had enough space around it to have a distinct shape. For Alex to feel it, properly feel it.

Alex could feel something other than pain again; ergo, pain had a means to exist.

Alex collapsed. The arms holding it up off the sand buckled at the elbows and it went down, broken and exhausted and drained of energy. Its skin hurt. Its eyes hurt. Its joints hurt. Its mouth hurt. Everything hurt. Everything hurt. Everything hurt.

An agonised, wailing cry filled the air and it took Alex far too long to register that it was coming from its own mouth. Somewhere between a scream of pain and a strangled sob of anguish and a strangled sob of relief. It pressed its forehead to the cool sand, ignoring the way the coarseness bit at its skin.

It was crying, from no particular emotion it could pinpoint. From all of them, maybe. From the capacity of being able to feel at all.

“That was quite a show,” a nearby voice mused, jolting Alex out of its daze. Quinn was perched on the side of the jetty, craned over with their chin resting on clasped hands, their legs swinging back and forth playfully. “I wasn't expecting either of them to actually make it here.”

Alex thought it should say something. Alex could think of nothing at all to say.

There was a dull thud as Quinn hopped down and hit the sand. Alex was certain they were about to stride straight over and assert themself again, but they didn’t. When Alex looked over, they tipped their head questioningly at it and waited for the go ahead.

Alex opened its mouth to speak, felt the scraping rawness of its throat, and thought better. It nodded tiredly.

“It’s not a good look for me, you know!” Quinn announced, that familiar spring in their step as they crossed to where Alex lay sprawled. "Me going back on my word so awkwardly. Like, did you hear her?” Quinn put on a whining voice and threw their fingers into air quotes. “Wah, you promised! God. I wanted to at least try to keep up appearances as the host of a fair game."

Alex tried to lift its head with intent to glare but couldn’t quite figure out how to move.

“If you hadn't been right behind her she could have killed me, Alexis,” Quinn huffed. "I could have died, Alexis."

“You managed to drag them all the way here without either of them killing you,” Alex rasped at last, not sure why it was bothering to argue. “You... had to catch them in the first place without getting killed.”

“I drugged them, silly,” Quinn said. “I’m less efficient if someone comes at me with their fucking fists.” There was a pause, and Quinn let their eyes narrow. “Hey. I know how much effort it’s taking you to speak right now, and I don’t appreciate you using all that energy just to pick a fight with me. Some thanks would be nice.”

You sprung this on me, Alex wanted to say.

You should have known I’d hate this, Alex wanted to say.

Why did you add glitter to the envelope you left me? Alex wanted to say. What was the point of that? Was that just for the aesthetic? I hate that you’re enjoying this. I hate that you’re having fun. Go to hell.

“Thank you,” Alex croaked.

“You’re welcome.” Quinn folded their arms. “I take it you did catch the other one already? How come this took you so long?”

“Overslept,” Alex said. “Been sleeping better since last week. I only woke up because the other one was banging on my door begging me to let him hide inside.”

Quinn choked on a laugh. “Oh, legit? That’s fucking hilarious.” They shook their head wistfully, like they were recalling fond memories of the ride over. They probably were. “Yes, our darling Rupert wasn’t really the brightest biscuit in the bunch as far as abusive shitbags go.”

"Mm." Alex's eyes were closed again. Alex's brain drifting out of focus.

“You can’t fall asleep out here,” Quinn's voice said.

"Mm-hmm."

Quinn's heartbeat grew louder in Alex's ears as Quinn crouched. Quinn gave Alex an experimental poke in the cheek. Then an experimental shake of the shoulder. Then an experimental forcible-peeling-open-of-the-eyelids.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Alex mumbled, swatting Quinn’s hands away. “Get off.”

“You can’t fall asleep out here!” Quinn said again, emphatically. “Your survival instincts are pathetic! The sun exists! What’s wrong with you?”

#a rental car takes a left down rake street and disappears #rental car updates #there is nothing new of note here. i just felt like posting it hahaha

[rotisseries]

i have no idea what scriptgate is and im too scared to ask anyone else pls pls explain bestie

oh god. this is how I know you don't look at all my posts (which is fair) but basically. there's this website 8flix that has LOTS of tv and movie scripts, including some stranger things ones. so byler fandom LOVES analyzing the scripts, bc they include like stage directions, and characters inner thoughts and stuff sometimes, and we've gotten some nice wins out of that, ("will isn't looking at the cute girl, he's looking at mike" you will always be famous)

so midway through july the dear billy script was being given out to donors, and it had some interesting stuff in it, so everyone went nuts and wanted the rest of them, so it's then announced we'll be getting the papa script on august 1st, again, only to donors. cool.

And then, it gets pushed back, to august 5th, last friday, (I can't believe it's already been a week) so this guy (nick) is making cryptic tweets about 4 chimes eastern time or whatever, and we all pick up that the script will be getting emailed out at about 4 pm est, and he's also been interacting with bylers a lot specifically and hyping it up bc we make up like 95% of the donors, and it's already been decided that those who are paying will immediately screenshot the important bits and post them, so comes 4 o'clock, and we're all refreshing the byler tag like crazy, but it's not out immediately. and at first we're like, yeah ok, this guy has to send the emails, AND then people have to post screenshots, so we'll wait a bit.

but then it's been an hour.

and then two hours.

and then three.

next thing we know, comes the announcement that he's having technical difficulties, and it will be released on saturday instead. same time. so saturday comes.

and we wait.

and we wait.

nothing.

here comes the announcement that YET AGAIN technical difficulties, he's going to work through the night, it will be emailed out sometime on sunday, but to hold us over, he posts a screenshot of a snippet of the van scene, which is what we all REALLY wanted to see. (the man knows his audience)

it includes the line "his [will's] own words cut deeply to the core. I hate who I am" as you can expect. sends the fandom into an ABSOLUTE frenzy. then, at like 6 in the morning, the full script drops, we spend all of sunday analyzing it to hell and back. we're finally happy. moments of peace.

then comes monday.

the twitter account for the stranger things writer's room says, and I quote, "PSA: any "leaked" season 4 scripts or script pages are FAKE. Do not pay anyone for scripts as this is a SCAM" (they also say that they'll start posting official script snippets of whatever we want to see)

so now we're all really confused? they didn't explicitly mention 8flix, but what else could they be referring to? #bylerscript has been trending on twitter for days now. but why didn't they mention it sooner? why didn't they say anything about pursuing legal action? why did people get copyright strikes for posting the 8flix scripts online? and 8flix looked legit? it's been running for years, it has thousands of scripts, and it's considered a valid resource for multiple ivy league film courses.

people are sending nick death threats, the mi|evens are laughing at us saying they knew it was a scam the whole time, all social media is a hellfire.

nick claims and continues to claim that if the scripts are fake, he didn't know it and also must've gotten fucked over by his source, I believe him, but his and 8flix's reputation is ruined now.

come wednesday. stranger writers twitter account runs a Twitter poll asking what we want to see. among the options is the van scene, we all vote for it, even though we think it's likely that they'll edit it before showing it to us, if there's even any evidence in there, and that option wins, we are now waiting for them to post it.

#you can scroll through my #scriptgate 2022 #tag for the full saga in meme format #stranger things #byler #ask #hi hella! I'm so sorry hella! #also sorry I probably could've given you a short version #also can I ask what kick-started this? #I've been posting about scriptgate for like a week now #why do you only ask now? #WAIT I JUST REALIZED THAT MAYBE MY EARLIER REBLOG IS JUST THE FIRST TIME YOU'VE SEEN ONE OF THE SCRIPTGATE POSTS?? #HOW?? #YOU'RE SO LUCKY #I was blogging about it constantly and you just kept managing to miss it?? #so sorry to break your streak ig #at least you weren't online for the sock anons either #you're so lucky byler nonsense keeps lining up with when you're offline

[e-s-willswriting]

Incorrect Quote Generator Tag

Thank you for the tag @rickie-the-storyteller this was really fun!

I'm going to add quotes from my main characters from The Crypt Archives. Gonna be long because I had way too much fun with this.

Charlotte: I'm going the fight the next person who insults Noah.

Noah: I hate myself.

Charlotte: Alright, square up.

Alden: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!? Piper: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

Charlotte: Look, Noah, it's the third time this week you had a mental breakdown and its Monday.

Piper: Who the fuck- Alden: Language! Piper: Whom the fuck- Alden: No.

Charlotte: Breathe, just breathe.

Noah: I’ve done nothing with my life! I’m a failure!

Judas:: Awww, that never bothered you before.

Judas: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it.

Judas: Everything will be fine. You have no choice.

Charlotte: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that?

Judas: Ominous positivity.

Nymph: I wouldn’t put it in those words exactly. Charlotte: Why not? Nymph: Because I don't know what they mean.

Charlotte: What's this? Nymph, hugging Charlotte: Affection! Charlotte: Disgusting. Charlotte: …Do it again.

Noah: Sometimes, I don’t realize an event was traumatic until I tell it as a funny story and notice everyone is staring at me weird.

Alden: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. Morrigan: And you came to me?

Alden: I can't imagine what Morrigan is planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it and it won't be legal.

Noah: I’ve been here in jail so long I think I’ve lost my mind.

Noah: The days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months.

Noah: How long have I been in here now? Almost a year?

Charlotte: This is Monopoly.

Judas: My ultimate goal is to punch God in the eye, just to spite him one last time.

Charlotte: Judas, I need some advice.

Judas: You need advice from ME?

Charlotte: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Noah: I can't believe you've done this.....

Charlotte: I'm sorry I didn't know-!

Noah, on the verge of tears: YOU CAN'T JUST BUY ME A GIFT OUT OF NOWHERE NOW I FEEL LIKE A HUGE ASSHOLE!

Noah: Come to think of it… You’ve always been nice to me.

Noah: I mean, you listen to all my problems-

Charlotte: No, Noah I just simply stand here while you talk, there’s a big difference.

Judas: If we lose, you’re out of the will.

Noah: I was in the will?

Noah: I can never give Charlotte shit because I’m jealous of them. They look at their life and say, “Sweet! This is perfect!”

Noah: I look at my life and say, “Welp. Time to get drunk.”

Morrigan, to Alden: If you see Charlotte, give them this message *makes a neutral face*

Morrigan: They'll know what it means.

*later*

Alden: oh, and Morrigan said to give you a message.

Alden: *makes a neutral face*

Charlotte: Oh no. The neutral face of displeasure.

Judas: I'll offer you some friendly advice-

Charlotte: I don't want your advice.

Judas: Well, then consider it unfriendly advice.

Alden: Remember what I told you. Piper: Don’t be a cunt.

Noah: Could you maybe just like… stab me… right in the gut. Just REALLY twist it in there. ‘Cause that honestly seems less painful than this conversation.

Judas: Underestimate me. That'll be fun.

Tagging a few people but anyone is free to have a go, make sure to tag me, I'd love to see yours!

@gwendolinequinn @legiomiam @srjacksin @lilac-honey @ryns-ramblings

#writer #writing #incorrect quotes #writing blog #writeblr #fiction writing #writing tag game #tag game

[poisonsteel]

dusting tag off. hello anyone home. i have some (many) thoughts about gregory in relation to grissamant . under read more because leak warnings ((also i over explain a lot in this but i PROMISE ITS GOING SOMEWHERE !!!! i just can NOT shut up))

from what we have of the house leaders talking to him gregory is.. a coward. hes better off the battlefield than on it and claude even says he has a skill for running away. its also possible that he might be in the mage cannon class, which we know is armored (but i would love to see him as enchanter because the back is open on it.. what if he has a tattoo as well ⁉️)

which is so strange because celestia and madeline dont seem to be very different to zephia and marni at all- celestia and zephia are even likely both melusines. gregory on the other hand sounds like a totally different person

we know the other world has opposites from the bond convos (hector saying the chloé of his world has the most boring food taste ever, for example) so it makes sense that gregory Would be the exact opposite of a sadomasochist HOWEVER And I PROMISE im going somewhere with this, as i said before celestia and madeline are not very different.

by gregorys name fitting in with brodia's name scheme and celestias "we're all from different places" dialogue, its a safe assumption hes brodian, which would mean griss is too. in the griss and zephia death scene griss mentions barely remembering his parents, and that zephia found him when he was quote "little", so another easy assumption is that griss's parents must have died or abandoned him by some means and zephia found + raised him. celestias dialogue also calls the others her family as well which means SOMEWHERE in that series of events, we get a split between "gregory" and "griss"

so where am i going with this? please consider that the other world has opposites in terms of personality outside of our three missing hounds. the opposite of diamant would be completely unhinged and likely enjoy bloodshed. hed maybe even have killed his own father to take the throne going full on michalis, its even possible he would have killed alcryst, too. now back to gregory and griss both being brodian,

in conclusion when the dlc drops if im correct about any of this please expect a MILLION FICS where gregory and griss are swapped over. griss cant corrupt diamant ALL the time we gotta give him a break. give him a pre-messed up diamant as a treat ((and give gregory a break in the process please if you think diamant and griss would fuck nasty because of griss imagine what that diamant does to HIM!!!!))

griss and the diamant of that world would go together almost perfectly, whilst the same is true for the diamant of our world and gregory. given gregory obviously hates combat and getting hurt he would likely attach himself to anyone strong that he saw whilst griss tends to charge in alone, which could DEFINITELY be unhealthy in relation to his world's diamant, but with our diamant? oh my god. thatd be so cute

but at the same time the two would have to have some similarities between them the same way celestia and madeline do which for the diamant we have would probably get disturbing in a way. not in the sense that gregory is a sadomasochist as well, but rather that he probably had the same things happen to him that griss did, with some key difference in there that spun them in opposite directions. my personal headcanon/theory/thing is that griss was a prisoner of war and zephia found him in elusia, whilst gregory was saved by brodian forces ((morion himself, perhaps?)) and ended up serving a very awful king later down the line to "repay" the debt. what if gregorys general cowardice is a direct result of his world's diamant ???

not to say he cant or shouldnt mess up diamant himself i just think itd be funny if he saw the other diamant and went "oh! why is that hotter......"

alternatively what would happen in a "griss survives" au where gregory still exists. like what would diamant do because theres no way griss wouldnt beat the living daylights out of gregory as a fun activity

#grissamant #engage spoilers #engage leaks #i wanna talk about this ship on here bc this is where the people Are for it.. #grissamant enjoyers PLEASE INTERACT #i am that one guy on ao3 who has written almost HALF of it #i say almost because the half title goes to the ceo of it

[nochiquinn]

exandria unlimited: calamity: episode 4 FINAL: it’s an old sad song from way back when

I'm gonna die, let's fuckin go

"I'm nauseous but I've got announcements!"

man now I want sorbet. or like one of those fruit freeze pops.

lou

"fire" no

aabria is so fucking pretty

"eat shit, patia!"

"failure! :D"

"you gotta cut this shit" I feel like that's exactly what he's trying to do

I am correct!

"ARE THEY WITHIN TEN FEET OF ME"

"where are you right now?" "SAFE"

jesus christ

this is like having a bag full of metal shit during a lightning storm in botw isn't it

jeSUS

you could say she's been disarmed

the dice feeding the narrative again

the dice gods ship it

the arcane ward CRIES

he would have been at TEN

gold shrapnel

"is this spell damage?" "this is the end of the world"

"you see your friends' faces flying towards you" I hate it

patia loses her remaining fingers

"marISHA"

snitching to the gygaxes

who remembers those me3 ending fixit comics with garrus at disneyland

that's cerrit

I don't like the music brennan

"how does magnus die?"

hey marisha: stop

it's all the people he's thinking of as he dies

cry count: 1

I broke the world for us

the tale of how we broke the world and couldn't pay the price

lou oppressed by the gravity of everyone's emotions

there's a mark twain quote about nobody praying for lucifer that I've thought about a lot during this

fdslkfjslk

luis?!

sam is just shrinking into his chair

marisha is fully ducking

*paladins*

I AM THE GODLESS

he just STABBED YOU sir

"you are a bad first draft"

exCUSE

"why are you coming for THIS side of the table kill some of THEM"

tag urself I'm marisha

[the master voice] I get to kill him AGAIN!

tempus averts the calamity

I always love the gaffer's tape over the logos on their food. and then there's travis who just blocks an entire coke can with one hand.

is it jewish mythology where the angels hated humans bc they had the ability to create? or am I conflating seven different things in my stress

that is a vestige but I do not want to go get my book

the hugs

I need a hug

marisha just Leaves

can't believe I have to fly to LA and fight sam riegel in a parking lot

the WHOMPST

the WHAT

SIX SIX SIX

I hate him

"I wanna sully this whole image"

oh ouch

"I don't think I've ever heard you be mean"

leave him alone

okay I know he's fair game but leave his KIDS alone

jesus

cerrit's gonna get the kids out and stay to try and help isn't he

fdjmlgkjdfl

use the ROCKS

oh HATE

DESPISE

gonna fight brennan lee mulligan

coming for the legbenders

cry count: 2

I talk a lot about the emotions this show gives me as a parent of a small child but possibly nothing has killed me like "dad? did I do something wrong?"

I am being destroyed

"you solve the mystery of who your children were" fuck OFF

so patia and loquatius are dead-dead. nydas is stable but Out. laerryn has a hitpoint and a half. zerxus is some kind of flayed man force ghost. cerrit is cutting off every emotion he has so he can Do The Work.

This Is Fine

"there's two of us now and we'll find a way"

"the age of arcanum is dead. what comes next?"

on every level the calamity was caused by love

oh

oh god

cry count: 3

dad said it's my turn with the spell slots

"paladin's got big ideas" YEAH THAT'S WHAT GOT US INTO THIS

"oh is he your ally now? you little bitch?" "save it until after he resurrects me!"

nani the FUCK

LAWYER WIN

I am the villain in your narrative

"you stood beside him" tbf you let him in

"we've all made deals in the past" yeah, WARLOCK

"let me know things"

samuel

"we don't have TIME shut the FUCK up"

the LAST DRAGON OF AVALIR

"what a lovely age" lays in the floor

I desire the first knight shirt ngl

oh CRIES

maya holds the legacy of avalir

patia's legacy

taken??

whyst??

the memories were taken by marisha

hey imir what the fuck

"I think I know it all already" yeah that's what got us into this

AND I WALK AWAY

NYDAS

can't take it with you~

hey WHAT

oh I hate how raw of a line that was

cursed, but raw

if you come for the king etc etc

"you had the decency to stab him from the front"

that is the best possible way to phrase "the old guy died, I'm the boss now"

oh. oh shit.

HE

IT'S A BOON

I love

sam: a WHAT

sandwich board nunchucks

BOLO

excuse

whatst

oh no

ksdjfsjk marisha and lou

travis it's literally his name

samuel so helP ME GOD

travis not even looking, just patting aabria on the shoulder

"I would rather mine break and yours be kept whole" CRIES

I acknowledge that the septarion has made a decision

nooo

YEAAAA

roll decption on the entire city

oh I'm gonna cry again

saM

"we only fucked a few times"

"you'll always be five years old to me"

cry count: a million

hey fuck you brennan

"why everybody gotta have FAMILIES and LOVE"

oh I HOPED he was gonna pull this

"I've never missed one" cries

fuck them UP

a competent woman to save them

MAP?

at TWO AM

NOW THAT WE'RE HERE AT THE END

IT'S THE FROM THE INTRO

too big of breasts

uku'toaaaaa

"my last inspiration" probably literally!

"while brennan's not here I want to say I love everyone at this table"

"you have to beat a 17" "am I a joke to you"

sam

"you propose with a bonus action??"

"we have to live through this" aabRIA

"how you doin', gorgeous" I love one (1) bird humphrey bogart

JUMP UP ON THE TAXMAN'S BACK

there is an hour and a half left, jesus

YEAHHH

"avalir be damned"

cry count: a million and one

*screams*

A GOOD BOY

dislike

DISLIKE

you lawyer those rules

SCREAMS

SCREAMS MORE

hey! how about we don't!

what did I JUST say

"I tried"

her dying Wish

from the FIRST ONE

SAMUEL

I had FORGOTTEN

he said the thing

oh just put me in the GROUND

brennan saw the state marisha was in and thought twice about calling on her

and then he did it anyway lmao

screams

fuck you brennan

oh no they got sam

oh

oh no

THIRTY

come on travis, final girl

oh GOD

oh fuck you travis willingham

the sh - FUCK YOU

“hope will return as many times as it needs to.”

“the calamity is here. but because of you it won’t be here forever.”

#critical role #exandria unlimited #spoilers #liveblog #reaction post #crititag #exutag #been sitting on that title for four weeks

[thelovelybitten]

vera's first watch of south park - season one

okay since stendy has taken over my life, I wanted to watch all 26 seasons of south park just for fun (and get more depth on the characters), so here's a little blurb on how season 1 went.

EPISODE 1:

oh my god the first episode is the fucking anal probe... the one clip I saw on tiktok disturbed me a little but that's the vulgarity of it all

KICK THE BABY

YOU'RE TELLING ME SINCE THE FIRST EPISODE STENDY WAS MENTIONED ?!?!?@?#??#! THE LITTLE LOVEY DOVEY STAN IS IN THE FIRST EPISODE ?????? DECEASED

STAN THROWS UP WHEN HE SEES HER WHAT this is new knowledge to ME it's so gross yet so cute LMAO

wendy giving him the note and the meeting at the pond... KYLE WAS IN HIS ANGRY ARC

my trio doing the damn thing stendyle FOREVER !!

"when do I get to make sweet love?" STAN RELAXXXX

kyle popping the FUCK OFF at the aliens as he should

I'm crying at stendy he vomits on her and her immediate reaction is "LOOK, A FRENCH FRY?" please they are so CUTE

EPISODE 2:

OH WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE IT'S THE EPISODE WHERE WENDY AND CARTMAN FIGHT FOR THE WINNER OF THE PAPER WRITING CONTEST

it's the way I know exactly what kenny is talking abt PLEASE

"hey, stop defending your little girlfriend for writing about some stupid fish" SO THEY'RE DATING NOW??????? stendy has been canon since the beginning?!@?!?#?$ HOW ARE THEY NOT POPULAR IN THE FANDOM

STAN DEFENDING WENDY <3

CLYDE AND BEBE OMG THEY ARE SO CUTE GSJSKBKG

uhm... i don't know how to feel abt this racist stuff, wouldn't fly in this modern-day timeline it's uncomfortable to watch tbh. Will have to get used to it

miss wendy GIRL DON'T GET CAUGHT

omg the TikTok MEME THAT MADE ME FALL IN LOVE W THEM GDNGKJNSNGJKGNKNK

the quote for my otp tag: I can't do it alone

stan in his simp era as HE SHOULD

stan and wendy in their duo arc they slayed

DOES KENNY GET KILLED IN EVERY EPISODE ???? that makes me sad

EPISODE 3:

it's stan being soft with animals for me <3 he's so SWEET my fave boy

kenny chugging gasoline???? my unhinged son

kenny popping AWF killing things

stan wanting to be a man like kenny BABY BOY YOU ARE PERFECT THE WAY YOU ARE SBGKJBS

so they do kill kenny in every episode.... weird dunk

chef making me CRINGE PLEASE

stan killing Scuzzlebutt iconic

EPISODE 4:

SPARKY is STAN'S DOG SJNKGSKNSK SO CUTE

wait is this is where the hc of stan being the high school quarterback comes from ??? so iconic

omg INFLATE STAN'S EGO PLEASE very king shit of him

as a bisexual... this is a little much :l

sensitive but i'll get over it

kyle filling for stan so style of them

why are Y'ALL KILLIN KENNY I hate it here

stan slowly becoming an ALLY

stan carrying the show as he fucking should that's my mf son right there

EPISODE 5:

not STAN GETTING BEAT BY SHELLY??? Is that her name??? Idk his big sister i don’t want a HAIR on his head touched

Kyle baby boy i love you but WHERE THE FUCK DID U GET AN ELEPHANT

Oh so Kyle’s the smartest kid at school ugh i love my brainiac son u EAT THESE BITCHES upppppp

Mr. Garrison common L

Shelly is AWFUL OMG

I love how stan gets launched and Kyle is just. Hey bestie we going to do this shit u better come

Cartman & fluffy is very wholesome (very rare that i like cartman, don’t count on it)

DON’T POKE STAN

Oh y’all be cloning stan ihy

Oh my god u can’t be serious is this actually gonna happen SKBSBGJS

Elton John ate

Mutant!Stan is a freak of nature :/

WHEN KENNY WENT IN THE MICROWAVE I WHEEZED HE’S SO CUTE LMAOO

Shelly redeemed herself for half a second and now she’s back on my hit list of “characters i cannot trust with Stanley Marsh”

EPISODE 6:

Oh lord we in for a wild one aren’t we

Not Stan’s grandpa wanting to unalive :(

KYLE AND IKE MY FAVOURITE SILBLINGSSSSS they’re so cute watching tv

I'm w kyle's mom on this, TF is terrance & Philip it's LAME

kyle's mom snitching kinda iconic tho

KENNY NOT THE EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA pls

EYE. STAN pls not this question

KYLE DON'T FEED THIS IDEA NGJKSNGSLGD

EPISODE 7:

kenny in his zombie era

OMG STAN AS RAGGEDY ANNE OMG

omg wendy as chewbacca

not wendy roasting stan pls they're chaotic

common cartman L with his costume

kenny falling to pieces fdsjngnsdkgjks

kyle being the solar system HOW WHOLESOME

wenSLAY AS THE WINNER AS SHE SHOULD

NOT THEM ALL SHAMING STAN

stendy's first fight :((((((((

CLYDE DON'T EAT BEBE

stan eating cartman up that's my fucking son

wendy being a good samaritan

shit stendy fight part two

NO WENDY GETS ZOMBIEFIED FJNDKJNFSDKNSK

is this a reference to the triple K ??? wtf this is fucked

chef W this ep pls kick cartman's ass

candy >>>>> everything else

period Michael Jackson ref

NO DON'T KILL WENDY STANLEY FUCKING DON'T YOU LOVE HER

"don't worry babe, everything is gonna be okay" KILL ME SJKBGJBKGSBK THEY ARE SO CUTE

stan this does not excuse u for wanting wendy to die tho... not proud of u

EPISODE 8:

omg I saw a bit of this on tiktok too

tHE AMOUNT OF CHESSY POOFS RELAX

kyle smelling kenny jbwejgbjkgbjkg please

wendy <3 my angel baby cake eat cartman up

the fuck did I just watch... whack ass turkeys

starvin' marvin ??? tf

'bad starvin' marvin THAT'S A BAD STARVIN' MARVIN'

OMG NOT THEM GRABBING CARTMAN DSBSDGBKJGDSBDSBK so slay marvin so slay

cartman finding the motherload of snacks alr I'll give the W

kenny doesn't deserve this shit save my mf son

EPISODE 9:

omg is this a CHRISTMAS SPECIAL?!?!??!?! OMG SO CUTE

stan IN HIS NARRATOR ARC

WENDY AS VIRGIN MARY BNJFJKFDNJDNJ I'M DEAD

KYLE DOING THE DAMN THING

KENNY THE ANGEL <33333333

omg stan and wendy catching snowflakes on their tongues :')))))) that's wholesome as FUCK

kyle's musical number !!!!!! where's the album sir ??? the vocals are FIRE

NO NOT IKE ON FIRE

MR.HANKEY IS A PIECE OF LITERAL SHIT....

CARTMAN FINDING A VIBRATOR... PLS

this is where ‘Kyle’s mom’s a bitch’ originates ?? not gonna lie cartman ate that tbh

MR MACKEY <3 m’kay man reigns supreme

not y’all setting up Kenny :/

oh he’s okay thank god

KENNY SPINNING AT THE BEGINNING OF THE PLAY DFNJNJDVFKVDJFKNKNJ HE IS BABIE

stendy in three frames it must be so

something…feels…unfinished…. Y’all rly gonna kill my son before the end of the episode FUCK YALL FR

I manifested Kenny not dying period

EPISODE 10:

it’s cartman’s bday ok this is gonna be FUCKING WHACK

Damien a spawn of Satan fr

Kenny the platypus ! <3

not satan being real :/

Mr mackey slayage AGAIN <3

common cartman L DON'T TOUCH MY SON KYLE JSJKGKJBKJSG

EPISODE 11:

god my throat hurts so bad KMS

STENDY INTERACTION I'M WINNING

wendy being wholesome and cartman being an ass... weird dunk

stan at least being supportive

OMG WAIT THIS IS THE EP WHERE WENDY IS IN HER PSYCHO ERA BC STAN IS A SIMP :'(

omg the main four are in their simp era

NOT STAN PUKING THE BETRAYAL

wendy :((((( stan is DELUSIONAL DW DW

stanley u SHUT UR DAMN MOUTH

wendy being sad is NOT MY FAVE

I love wendy in her jealous era flame this bitch

NO NOT THE STENDY FLASHBACKS GDJBBJKHDGBJKGDBJKDHBJK KMS

wait they are all of him vomiting LMAOOOOO

Wendy crying is my weakness

GOD DAMN IT i knew SHE WOULD ASK STAN TO DO SOMETHING FOR HER FUCKING BITCHHHH

“DON’T FUCK WITH ME.” WENSLAY AS USUAL. When is she not an icon

Gives miss Ellen a dead animal i love her so much

Jesus Stan being an idiot >:( i love my son but he’s stupid

OMG WENDY IS SO TRUE FOR HER

WAIT MISS ELLEN IS A LESBIAN OKAY A SLAY

Stan…. Ur not a lesbian pls

The BIRKENSTOCKS NDFSNKSFK

Mr.garrison got RIZZ

Bebe & Wendy my fave duo they besties for the resties

WENDY IN HER SANDRA DEE ARC I REPEAT WENDY IS IN HER SANDRA DEE ARC

I am obsessed w this omg

NO NOT MISS ELLEN COMING IN THE SAME OUTFIT this is CRUEL

Bro miss Ellen on my hit list she rizzing up my son and ruining my ship FUCK AWF

Um ???? WE JUST NOT GONNA TALK ABT WENDY’S GMA UNALIVING???? SO TRAUMATIZING FOR LIL WENDY

NO WENDY DON’T GIVE UPPPP

Wendy STOP IT I’M SOBBING i love how selfless she is but it’s also a con

???? NOT THE IRAQI AFTER MISS ELLEN

Stendy reigns again period

WENDY AND BEBE SLAYED

Aw my psycho children i love them <3

EPISODE 12:

KYLE GETTING THE CLOUT as he should <3

Barbra get ur hands off Kyle and don’t yell at stan >:(

Not cartman breaking into kyle’s house ur weird

Lol them just hanging there… weird

The Japanese i love it

Barbra destroying the town ew

Literally wtf is this ep

I’m very lost

Ike AT THE END FDDJJCNDJDJ

EPISODE 13?:

CARTMAN’S TEA PARTY ok this is wholesome

Cartman just wants to know who his dad is aw :’( big relate

My fave kids putting their video of cartman on AFV sjdsncdj

GO KART KENNY :’(

WAIT ONLY THIRTEEN EPS? WERK IG

I made it boys woo thanks for reading this far have a cookie

#faves: south park #viv watches #otp: i cant do it alone #first season a 7/10 i would say #South Park #anyways S2 S2

[bumblewarden]

Incorrect Quotes feat. Novhen Tabris

tagged by @heniareth to fill some incorrect quotes with this here generator and did so all about novhen! a couple other ocs show up but are tagged at the end if you’re curious about which origins they are

i had a blast with it and invite anyone else reading this to play around with it for a bit. now segue this into the actual post’s cold open:

The Warden: Tell me a little about yourself. Companion!Novhen: I'd rather not, I really like this group 

🌙 ~

Novhen: I never tell people off the bat that I'm bi. I wait. I wait until they say some homophobic shit and then I laugh and am like "you know I'm gay right?" and watch the look of terror on their face. Zevran: Zevran: I like you.

🌙 ~

Zevran: You know what’s funny about Novhen? They’re my best friend, and anyone who’d hurt them is someone I’d murder, probably.

🌙 ~

Novhen: I got an idea! Alistair: Does it involve breaking the law? Novhen: By now don’t you think that’s a given? Alistair: I was just trying to be optimistic. Novhen: Don’t bother.

🌙 ~

(Mildly NSFW) Leliana: I like your top, Novhen!  Zevran: I have a name, you know.  Novhen: sighs Why. Why are you like this. 

🌙 ~

Novhen: I hate Eamon. Wynne: "Hate' is a strong word. Novhen: I have strong opinions. 

🌙 ~

Morrigan: Wait you like me? For my personality? Novhen: I know, I was surprised too. 

🌙 ~

Radka: Hey, wanna help me commit arson? Novhen: What the hell!? Radka: Oh, sorry, my bad. Radka, whispering: Wanna help me commit arson? Novhen, whispering: Of course. What do you need? 

🌙 ~

Alistair: So, are you two dating now? Morrigan & Novhen: Yes. Alistair: Why? Morrigan: I happen to find Novhen very appealing. Alistair: Yeah, I can understand that. I'm trying to figure out what's wrong with Novhen.

🌙 ~

Novhen: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me. 

🌙 ~

Novhen: Morrigan and I got married!! Alistair: Don't share your personal problems with everyone. 

🌙 ~

(Post Battle of Denerim) Alistair: You're alive. Novhen: There's no need to sound so disappointed. 

🌙 ~

Spirit 1: You broke up with Novhen for a reason. Morrigan: I know, I know. I’m just so tired of missing them. Tired of wondering why they haven’t called. Why haven’t they called? Spirit 2: Maybe because you told them not to. Morrigan: What are you, the Memory Person? 

🌙 ~

Nathaniel: How did you even get in here? Zevran: Novhen's window! Or, as I like to call it, "Zevran's door"! Novhen: I’m closing the window. 

🌙 ~

Inquisitor!Novhen: Yeah I'm LGBT. Inquisitor!Novhen: cuLt leader. Inquisitor!Novhen: God hates me personally. Inquisitor!Novhen: cowBoy hat. Inquisitor!Novhen: sniffles Trying my best. 

🌙 ~

Garevel: How many children do you have? Novhen: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference. 

🌙 ~

Novhen: You gave me up, you let me down, you turned around, and deserted me. Morrigan: But did I make you cry? Novhen: cries on the spot Morrigan: ...Shit.

🌙 ~

Pavle: Just be yourself. Morrigan: Really? Pavle, I have one day to win over Novhen’s family. Morrigan: How long did it take for you guys to like me? Zevran: Couple of weeks. Vo: Six months. Alistair: Jury’s still out. Morrigan: See, Pavle? ‘Just be yourself,’ what kind of garbage advice is that?!

🌙 ~

Morrigan: I don't know how to tell you this, but... I love you. Novhen: That's great, Morrigan. Especially considering the fact we've been married for 6 fucking years.

🌙 ~

Novhen: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

#novhen tabris #radka brosca #pavle amell #vo mahariel #i feel like i'm being so mean to morri here T-T

[gonewiddershins]

I posted 5,383 times in 2022

10 posts created (0%)

5,373 posts reblogged (100%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@tanoraqui

@patrickdiomedes

@kvothbloodless

@themodethecitythesoul

@derinthescarletpescatarian

I tagged 5,370 of my posts in 2022

#this amuses me - 1,559 posts

#spy x family - 531 posts

#animorphs - 369 posts

#mo dao zu shi - 267 posts

#tian guan ci fu - 206 posts

#batfamily - 204 posts

#svsss - 150 posts

#concept - 145 posts

#media - 124 posts

#queer stuff - 122 posts

Longest Tag: 109 characters

#every twilight/thorn princess fanart i see is so hot and/or serious – something straight out of a mafia movie

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 3 of 7)

18. your least favorite book ever

One of the effects of being a shameless DNF-er is how I don't really have least favorite books. Because they can't be my least fave if I drop them halfway through and go and happily read something else instead. Least favorite book (singular) ever is even worse- why on earth would I read a book I loathe that much? The only answer is "Buddy Reads" and even for that I have drawn lines I will Not Cross. And even if those lines were crossed, I feel uncomfortable rating that book as "the worst" because making me read something I don't like makes me very, very mad and that naturally spills over to my feelings about the actual book.

So I skimmed through Goodreads and randomly picked a book that made me mad enough that I remembered being mad to this day. This actually means the book had potential, because I tend to forget books which had no redeeming features whatsoever. But this is also the third draft of this answer so it's what you're getting. (There is actually book I dislike more than this one, but that's getting saved for the un-recommend question.)

Tangled by Emma Chase is an office romcom. And it would probably be pretty entertaining (my tastes they are so low) if (a) the author did not decide that swearing was an inherently funny action and used it to indicate idk- something positive about the male lead, (b) it weren't for the unquestioned gender essentialism - you know the thing, men are like this women are like that and god forbid anyone deviates even slightly from the norm, and (c) I didn't keep getting smacked in the face with constant workplace sexual harassment.

The harassment was bad enough to have my oblivious self feel mildly uncomfortable when I first read it. When I skimmed through it again to remember why I hated it so much it almost made me want to puke. If any guy thought about me the way the ML thought about the FL I would knee him in the balls. Also, I HATE it when romances end with a "grand gesture" that magically solves everything. Especially in this case. FL, you were so fucking bland that I don't remember a goddamned thing about you but you should have kneed him in the balls. For fuck's sake.

QUOTE: (slime. slime all over my face and my arms.)

Doe Eyes may be telling me no…but her body? Her body’s screaming, Yes, yes, fuck me on the bar. In the span of three minutes, she’s told me why she’s here, what she does for a living, and allowed me to fondle her hand. Those are not the actions of a woman who is not interested—those are the actions of a woman who does not want to be interested. And I can definitely work with that.

23. a book that is currently on your TBR

See the full post

3 notes - Posted July 7, 2022

#4

1, 9 10 13 15 16 18 23 52 53 55 60 63 71 80 86 107 121 127 134 135 for ur ask meme

wheeeee~

okay so there's are enough of these questions that I'm gonna answer this in parts because otherwise (a) I'll never finish and (b) tumblr WILL end up earing my drafts and I wince just thinking about that. So here we go-

1. a book that is close to your heart

The Beginning by K.A. Applegate. Anyone who's spent some time on my tumblr knows about my obsession with this series. It drilled into my ear and took over all higher life form function way back when I was an impressionable pre-teen. And then after sometime, when I thought I'd found other things to obsess about, I found copies of the final arc and it decided to permanently take up residence in my brain.

The Beginning is the final installment of the Animorphs series, which famously feature kids turning into animals to fight brain stealing alien puppeteers. It's not a climax- it's a extended denouement, because the books have always been about how children people are affected by war as much as as it was about the actual war. Animorphs also ended on a very bittersweet note, something unthinkable to baby me who had never seen a story end this way before. It was a learning experience.

Quote:

"Jake, you can't . . ." She took a deep breath. "You can't equate the victim and the perpetrator."

"So as long as you're playing defense it's not possible to commit a war crime?" I asked. "That's pretty close to just saying that the winner makes the rules because it's the winner who writes the history."

She grabbed my arm and searched for my eyes, forcing me to look at her. "No, Jake, it isn't. There are a lot of close calls in history, lots of wars where the blame is evenly split between the sides. This isn't one of them. Before they came to Earth no human ever attacked a Yeerk. No human ever harmed a Yeerk. This one is clear: We are the victims. They made war on us."

"That's good," I said softly. "All of that is good. We have justification. We're the good guys."

Marco said, "That's right, Big Jake, we are."

I nodded. "That's good for the big picture. See, my problem is a little more personal."

Ax asked.

"Well, Ax-man, you're right, you did call my attention to the possibilities on the Pool ship. And when you did that I guess I should have thought, Well, Jake, it's a harsh, terrible thing to do, but you're justified because, after all, you're the victim here. But that's not what I thought. You know what I thought?"

Cassie released her grip on me. But Marco just took a step up close, right in my face.

"I know what you thought, Jake. You thought Die, you filthy worms. Feel the fear, Yeerks. Feel the pain. Feel the helplessness. You wanted them to suffer and the idea of them suffering and dying made you happy. You were thrilled. You were high."

Cassie winced. She looked away.

I said, "Yeah, Marco. That was about it: word for word."

9. your favourite book of 2020 2022

See the full post

3 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

#3

Book Rec Ask Meme (Part 2 of 7)

13. your favorite romance novel

You should know by now that I don't actually have favorites. I have a list of things I like and how much I like them varies with time, emotions, circumstances, and also maybe the phases of the moon. But The Duke in Disguise by Cat Sabastian was the first book I thought of when I saw this question, so it's the answer by default.

A Duke in Disguise is a standalone (technically it's part of a series, but books in romance novels series are often functionally standalones with cameos) romance story about two childhood friends- a prickly left-leaning publisher trying to keep her business afloat and an illustrator (engraver, to be precise) who turns out to be the long-lost heir to a dukedom. It's filled with class rage and ideas about what independence means and wonderful friend and family characters. The heroine is bi and filled with rage goes to her ex-girlfriend when she wants to yell about stuff. It's great.

QUOTE:

How one was meant to feed all these people on a couple of mutton chops Verity did not know. Supper was supposed to serve four: herself, Nate, Ash, and Charlie. But Nate had come home with three friends he met at the pub, which would have been bad enough even if he hadn’t evidently also invited Amelia Allenby, the half-grown daughter of Verity’s friend. At half past seven, a carriage pulled up in front of the house and disgorged a girl in pearl earbobs and a white muslin frock, dressed as if she were going to dine with the great and good of the land, rather than pick at too few mutton chops and be an eyewitness to sedition. Amelia was seventeen and looked upon Nate with a degree of hero worship that nobody who brought three hungry radicals home to dinner deserved.

15. a book rec you really enjoyed

See the full post

4 notes - Posted July 6, 2022

#2

1, 19, 27

1. a book that is close to your heart

The Curse of Chalion by Lois McMaster Bujold. I mean, I love almost everything this author writes but I'd only read her space opera series before this, and space opera was (at least back then) not as much my genre as Fantasy is.

It was also a very different type of fantasy from what I'd experienced. I'd mostly read grand sweeping fantasy epics before CoC, with a dash of Tamora Pierce to even things out. But I think this was the first time I'd seen adult fantasy which was less about world domination and more about people just trying to get by in the face of curses and life in general etc. Caz is a wonderful protagonist because he's so tired and so traumatized and he juxtaposes beautifully with Iselle (who is the /thematic/ protagonist) who's vibrant and a beacon of hope. The divinity-based magic system is wonderful. The way of breaking the curse is wonderfully clever. This book made me actually weep more than once. I just- //flails

It also made me be more active about searching for adult fantasy I was actually interested in, because till that point I really thought all we could have were chosen one quest narratives.

Quote:

“Any man can be kind when he is comfortable. I'd always thought kindness a trivial virtue, therefore. But when we were hungry, thirsty, sick, frightened, with our deaths shouting at us, in the heart of horror, you were still as unfailingly courteous as a gentleman at ease before his own hearth.”

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

See the full post

5 notes - Posted July 4, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

It just struck me how the MCU is milking the hell out of a nearly manufactured out of whole cloth mentor-mentee/dad-son relationship between a billionaire superhero and a socially disadvantaged kid superhero while the dc cinematic universe, which has multiple canon relationships like that, ignored them COMPLETELY in favor of more serial killer showcases.

7 notes - Posted April 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[purest-vanilla]

I posted 868 times in 2022

That's 868 more posts than 2021!

131 posts created (15%)

737 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@songofvictory

@cat-fait

@dailywiz

@pablostrans

I tagged 696 of my posts in 2022

Only 20% of my posts had no tags

#abra-cookie-cadabra! - reblog - 41 posts

#dailywiz - 36 posts

#the musings of the almighty wizard cookie! - 25 posts

#cookie run - 24 posts

#magic is an art form - 24 posts

#friend! friend! - 23 posts

#abra cookie cadabra! reblog - 21 posts

#ready to be amazed? - others art - 16 posts

#crk - 12 posts

#ready to be amazed? - other's art - 11 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#anyways jkajfksdjfkajf;aksdjfakljekwljr;dsjfaiojrkelwrjfojakj;eklrjkekw;jqrk;ldjfiaosjdflk;ajelkrjew;lqrjlk;ewjralkdsjflksadjfkljf;klsaf/pos

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

dark cacao kingdom incorrect quotes bc i’m bored

Dark Choco: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a candle with food coloring, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. Dark Cacao: What did you do Dark Choco? Dark Choco: a Mistake.

Affogato: Don’t worry, I have a permit. Caramel Arrow: ...This just says “I can do what I want”.

Caramel Arrow: You made enough pasta that you could take it to lunch tomorrow. Put it in a container. Crunchy Chip: Shovel the pasta into your face. Do it. Put it in your face. The future is meaningless but the pasta is now.

Affogato: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone. Caramel Arrow: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

Dark Choco: I sort of did something and I need some advice, but I don't want a lot of judgment and criticism. Dark Cacao: And you came to me?

Caramel Arrow: What’s your favorite color? Affogato: Stop asking stupid questions. Ask me something logical and mature. Caramel Arrow: How many moles of sodium bicarbonate are needed to neutralize 0.8ml of sulfuric acid at STP? Affogato: My favorite color is pink.

Dark Choco: Hey Dark Cacao, can I get some icecream? Dark Cacao: Only a spoonful! Dark Choco: *Proceeds to pull out a comically large spoon.*

Caramel Arrow: I hate Affogato. Crunchy Chip: "Hate' is a strong word. Caramel Arrow: I have strong opinions.

Crunchy Chip: Why do I always try to tell people we're cool? We are so very uncool.

Caramel Arrow: When surrendering, Dark Choco is to hand the sword over HILT first.

Caramel Arrow: Editor's note: What the fuck?

Caramel Arrow: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be? Crunchy Chip: Maybe a bit tipsy? Affogato: Drunk. Dark Cacao: Wasted. Dark Choco: Dead.

Crunchy Chip: Affogato is not a morning person. Or a night person. There’s really only about seven minutes a day you are fun to be around. Affogato: The best part is you never know when they’re coming.

Affogato: You can de-escalate literally any situation by asking ‘are we about to kiss?’ Affogato: Doesn't work with getting out of betraying people, though.

Crunchy Chip: Then either Sonic is a god or could kill god, and I do not care if there is a difference.

Affogato: What situation is not instantly improved by the addition of fishnets, I ask you. Dark Choco: Being a fish. Affogato: Well, shit.

Affogato: Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The X makes it sound cool.

Demon: Hey, I took your soul last month and- Dark Choco: No returns. Demon: *sobbing* But it's making me sad...

34 notes - Posted August 11, 2022

#4

so uh. tried to do a funny [k]night sky costume thing

43 notes - Posted August 28, 2022

#3

bullying :(

55 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

#2

He’s fucking dead guys. Perished. Gone. Fainted permanently. 

56 notes - Posted June 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

here have some character memes :)

See the full post

207 notes - Posted August 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[ruinestagehouse]

[[CW: I don't know how to tag this, I'm not in a good state because I've set off a system member in the process of this. So, for content warnings, I talk about displacement, racism, being ripped away from culture, forceful socialization into another culture, evidently the s* slur, cultural rejection, and that fact that I didn't think this would hurt as much as it did. This came about from a discussion I just had where perhaps I didn't word my support as well as I wanted, and the person brought race into it, do not harass or bother the person if you find out who he is. Please. I am actually begging you. Do not show him my vent, either. I have him blocked and I want no contact with him, and he wants none with me. If you try to act like a racist twat towards natives on this post, I'm blocking you. I don't care who you are.]]

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I have, very painfully remembered why Ryan hates it when either Eris or I have to bring up the fact we were forcefully disconnect from the fact we're native.

It's easier to just say we're white because no one believes us otherwise. Mom is pasty as the damn sun, and we got that from her. She has us so disconnected from our dad's side of the family, and any semblance of a culture he has, that I don't even know what we are anymore. She made sure to muddle that too. Ryan says it was Blackfoot. I trust him on that.

But when I have to tell someone that they've just completely missed a point I made and they just continue making assumptions, even when I have to come out and tell them, "I'm not white. I'm not the exact same as you but even if we were I am carrying hidden damned trauma from being ripped away from anything that could have been shared by an actually racist mother,"

"White people ripping themselves a new asshole to make me look like the bad guy."

Christ, you were just looking for a bad guy you twat.

Damnit, I know I will never belong! I will never bloody fucking be able to. I will never reconnect with a culture I was robbed of and I certainly can't do it here where it isn't safe. But to know that even if I tried I'd just be some white kid who you called racist for typing out "savage," which wasn't even aimed at you it was quite literally quoted from your message as you accused me of treating you like one in a post supporting you, in which I didn't even know you were native when I wrote the damned thing, a word I have damn well been trying not to be called out of fear (I use I here to denote the system as a whole, but this trauma is mostly Ryan's. Ryan is the one who bore the brunt of this) because God knows being what I am already is at risk of getting me raped in a state where that is a death sentence due to disability and the fact I'm trans, to bear a child would kill me outright, utterly fuck you for clinging to a victim card because you found an easy target.

This entire typing style, did you think I was from fucking England?

Damnit, I live in Ohio. I type and speak like this because none of my damned friends are American. None of the media my parents showed me was American. I have to consciously stop myself from using the spellings of other countries for words like color. This is how I was socialized. This is how I was raised. The furthest from what I actually bloody fucking am.

I'm tired of this. I even went to walk away and he just could not fucking relent. He didn't even read what I said. He just kept calling me white and then called me a racist.

Ryan, I'm sorry. I didn't know any of that was a trigger, but Christ that was horrid. Christ, I give up on this. I really will only ever be some white twat to the people I'm supposed to be a part of. I can't escape my socialization. I can't escape my mother. But evidently, I'm alone no matter what I do.

I don't talk about this for a reason, and I never want to talk about it again, because it doesn't matter. If anyone asks, as I always say, I'm Irish/Scottish.

It's just fucking easier to pretend.

#stagehouse rambles #vent post #cw rape mention #cw racism #cw parental abuse #Do not reblog #Do not Comment #I don't want replies to this.

[parcai]

hey kristoff do u still think u would be a hades kid if u were in pjo. also what would it weapon be

yes i do 🤔 i think i really do have the vibe and mind for it. i think i could also see hecate tho. her moral ambiguity and tie into crossroads/fate vs making your own destiny remind me strongly of hades in a way, so i suppose if she's considered a lesser god in riordanverse (despite her being older than hades in most actual myths, being a titan and all 💀) then that would prob be more "realistic" than being a child of the big three.

but hades has a few other qualities that i think suit me more, those even hecate doesn't have 🤔 much to think abt

as for a weapon, scythes are cool and all, and honestly i'd prob say that except for it started becoming a trend in the pjo fandom and now it's not fun anymore. plus it's not really an effective weapon in real life. it's heavy and needs to be wielded at an odd angle due to the 90 degree angle between blade and staff. swords are overdone. daggers are sorry excuses for swords and for some (we know why 😑) reason are always given to girls. i think i will go w my own heritage. chakras please 🥰

#no there really isn't much to think abt 💀 it's just as i said #ik u said athena and altho i joke i do see where you're coming 🤔 but like she doesn't contain the same nuance of hades or hecate. she is a #people pleaser and serves the so called all the time. she doesn't understand the way older gods do. dare i say i have always found... #wow athena are going to be angry with me but #i have always found her to be naive 💀 for that reason alone i could never belong there #why did it fuck up my tags god i hate quotes #should say she serves the so called good #and athena kids are going to be... #hmph #logan tag #answered #cabin 13 #cabin 14 #pjo #hades #hecate #athena

[gayerthanevertbh]

the widow’s bunny - part 5

author’s note | helluuuurrr! i hope you enjoy this chapter but it could be very triggering, so i’m just warning you. please don’t read if you aren’t comfortable.

summary | Your father, Clint Barton, brought his fellow Avengers to the safe house and it was your first time meeting the one and only Black Widow; Natasha Romanoff. As soon as you and her get a little close, her other side is vaguely showing and it truly frightens you. She quotes, “You will be my pretty little secret, yeah?”

pairings | Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

warnings | heavy smut ; strap-on use ; daddy kink ; pet names ; slut shaming ; abusive behavior ; very (18)+!!

taglist | @ilovehotactresses @bepisbeansprouts  @heidithriel @mommynat @myplaceofsolace​ @jediluka @d14n4ol 4ol @youralphawolf72 @natasharomanoff-wife @santasbitch @karmasgxrl​ @marvel2024 @ripofflizzie​ @tashakink​  @natashaswife12345 @madamevirgo​​ @comfy-mee​​ (i don’t know why i can’t tag some of u :/)

Part 1  Part 2 Part 3  Part 4 Part 5 so on...

Days passed by until Natasha’s needs are starting to overtake her body. You berated the woman to the point that you don’t want her sleeping next to you and for Natasha, well, she didn’t take that well.

She would forcefully shut you up by smacking your face, making you even more desperate to just die on the spot where you don’t have to suffer the pain that is cost. And then, as usual, the widow would apologize and give you the most comforting kisses all over your heated cheeks. As long as you want to hate it, loathe it, despise it, you like her kisses. You liked the way she comforts you with them; especially with her words of love.

Maybe you were just as disgusting as her.

That morning when you woke up, your head spun when Natasha starts grinding her pelvis against your covered ass – making you let out a shuddering breath and inhale it as you feel her hand dip through your sweats. Her lips were taking action to your ear and whispered hotly: “You are so beautiful when you’re asleep. I couldn’t help myself anymore, I won’t fuck you until you tell me to. I promise you, detka, I’ll be very gentle at first.”

You don’t want to give in, you really don’t, but you hate to admit that you’ve been quite aroused these past couple of days. Not just by Natasha, no, you try your best to think of someone else instead of her but you would like to experience how she’ll take you mindlessly. Surely, this experienced woman is good in bed. Plus, she’s way older than you so you would like to see a scene of that.

“Would it hurt?” you asked quietly.

Natasha chuckles deep in your ear, still grinding onto your ass like some maniac in charge, “You haven’t had sex in a while, yeah pretty girl?”

As you nod your head slowly, she flashes a toothy creepy smile that sends chills through your body.

“Let me fuck you, please kotenok,” Her voice seems to get desperate and whiny as she gives a sharp thrust to your ass, letting out an accidental moan that she would probably enjoy once you give yourself to her.

“Natasha,” You breathed out when the widow’s bigger hand cupped at your right breast, tweaking your nipples through your shirt, making you roll your eyes at the back of your head. Her fingers that were latched onto your nipple felt incredibly good. You wanted more, you needed more the way she needed more and pushed your ass back at hers; letting the dominant widow moan into your ears.

Oh god, what did I get myself into?

“Tell me verbally,” she asks while grinding back at you, this time pistoning her hips to feel the friction that she needs to feel. “Tell me right now that you want to be fucked.”

“I want to be fucked,” You whispered onto her mouth that was hovering against your lips and grind back your ass against her, grabbing the hand that was inside of your sweats to pull it back up and massage your breast roughly. She eagerly complied and finally closed the distance between you two.

You wouldn’t say it was a brutal kiss yet it wasn’t passionate either, it was more like a sense of need. Her lips were soft and supple, it tasted like those Burt's bees chap lipstick that tasted nothing. But, she tasted sweet. Like, really sweet.

Sensing your need to be touched, Natasha spoke with a lighter voice but with more dominance with it.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” the woman above you turns your shoulder until your back is flat against the mattress as you watch her being enthralled over your body, which seems to be majestic when it comes to her. She lifts your torso a bit to take off your see-through white shirt until your nipples are exposed to her glory.

“God, you are so beautiful,” She praises. Her devious hands maneuver to your naked torso and grab your ribs, pushing you back down onto the cold mattress. You gasped, but suddenly your throat felt blocked – obstructed by her simple touch on you. You hate her, you do, but maybe this sexual encounter could relieve some of your stress. After all, you were here little pet.

Without hesitation, Natasha placed her soft wet lips onto your cleavage and licked it up until it reached your neck. You suppressed a moan, afraid enough to make an eager sound to make it seem like you want her. But you do, god you do – and you aren’t even denying it anymore.

Pulling away, the woman asked breathlessly: “You want to be fucked by your mommy? You want me to make you come onto my cock? Don’t worry baby, I have a collection inside of that closet that I’d like to try out. Let me take care of you.”

It frightens you a bit, yet there was this wave of fire within you that you couldn't seem to shake it off. Gratefully, you opened your legs for the woman to penetrate, and boy, she was pleased to see you falling into her little game. Natasha cooly takes off her tank top, revealing her lace black bra that was holding her breasts – and you caught yourself staring at them. They look so soft and–

“Such a dumb little baby,” She whispers to your ear and palms your breasts roughly; making you whimper with pleasure. “My fucktoy. A little plaything for me to use, huh baby? Come on, talk to me, sweetheart.”

You struggled to form your words as the woman trails her finger down to the middle of your stomach that was suddenly sucking in from her intoxicating touch. “Please, please, please! Just… fuck me, Natasha. Just do it–”

Smack! She slaps your outer thighs harshly and it makes you bite down your lower lip hard as the sting accommodates through your entire system. God, the way you crave for this woman who kidnapped and made you their little pet is entirely the most beautiful devious woman that you’ve ever met. You want to push her away from you but you crave so much for her touch that you’d let her do anything at this point.

“When I bring out that cock, you better call me daddy,” She chastises while her lips peck on your inner neck. “When it’s my fingers, you can call me mommy. Understood, little one?”

You nodded frantically as you form words into your head but cannot seem to say them at the tip of your tongue, you were quite stunned and aroused from the penetration that Natasha was giving you. You loathe it. You love it. You need it.

“Y–Yes, Mommy.”

She groans at the nickname that has slipped out from your tiny mouth and immediately relishes your lips with hers. Pulling away with a loud pop, She mutters something in Russian that you can’t understand – but it was severely hot.

Slowly, she unties the laces of your shorts and leisurely pulls it down, exposing your underwear that was in front of her green irises. The redhead looks back up at you and gives a devilish smirk. You whimpered and shut your eyes tightly as you felt her warm breath on your pelvis.

“Such a pretty underwear, but you know I would love it if it’s off, right slut?”

You nodded again and cover your eyes with your arm. Natasha sees the simple action that you did and growled in anger. She slaps the inside of your thigh loudly and you arch your back in pain and pleasure. Letting out, “Ah! What was–”

“Do not fucking talk back,” Natasha bits back with a venomous tone. She then continued to kiss your pelvis until you were in a heaving mess, which was the whole point to her. Chuckling darkly, she says: “Daddy is going to fuck that tiny hole of yours, bunny. Let me just get my strap.”

You watch her as she scurries into the closet to grab a long black box that prickles your entire skin in fear but also in anticipation once she opens it slowly, revealing a strap-on that is seemingly long and thick. The core of yours finally starts to beat and you feel that dampness once she takes it out, grabs the O-ring, and places it on the bed.

“Watch me as I take off my clothes.”

You nodded, feeling way too paralyzed to speak or move.

Natasha unclasps her bra as it falls downwards onto her body, revealing her scrumptious-looking breasts that seek attention. Then, not long enough, she unbuttons her pants with a pop and pulls it down – along with her underwear – and stands naked right beneath your eyes. Your breath hitched as you take a good stare at her body; she looks enchanted with a hint of vile whenever her eyes lingered on you.

As soon as she wore the strap, the woman got between your legs and slapped the inside of your thigh one more time; letting out a shriek from your mouth that was already gaped.

“Nat–”

“You are such a slut, aren’t you huh? Can’t even fucking follow my instructions,” her chuckle was humorless; it was full of darkness into it. “It’s daddy to you, little one. Now, let me spit into your mouth. Open.”

Without even thinking about it, you did – letting your tongue out as you felt a spit inside of your mouth that was leaking from hers too. She smiled, licking her lips, and tweaking both of your nipples once again. You closed your eyes from the pleasure that she was giving until you hear a harsh tone coming from her mouth.

“Open your eyes, I want to watch you as I fuck you mercilessly.”

You weren’t even worried anymore, you just wanted her fully. You don’t care what it was, as long as she fucks you into oblivion; then it wasn’t such a problem. You may call yourself this horny freak, and so was she, but at this moment do you care? No. You just want to be fucked hard. And that’s what Natasha has been planning for you for quite a long time.

A pleasing hum came from your kidnapper’s lips as she grabbed the head of her cock, lining it up onto your clit; pressing it hard to get you into a moaning frenzy. She looks at your weary eyes and gives a devious smirk. This woman knows what she was doing to you, there was no sympathy through it.

“God, do you know what you do to me detka? You make daddy crazy,” She whines as she rolls her eyes back from the sight of your glistening pussy. Opening, she continued: “Look how wet you are for me. All for me, yeah?”

“All for you, daddy,” You muttered, making the older woman groan on top of you as she lathers your wetness onto her fingers; dragging it painfully into your tight hole. You gasped as you felt a single finger dipped inside of you. Natasha watches your expression and smiles through her teeth.

“Darling, daddy is going to have so so so much fun with you.”

Without your approval, Natasha slowly pushes the cock inside of you – slowly. She didn’t want to cause you pain. After all, she still does have a heart; especially for someone like you. Your mouth lets out a silent, strangled moan as the pain washes through your veins – especially from your core. Natasha clearly enjoys the pain and pleasure that is accommodating from your body. Your eyes can tell, the way your body responds to her touch, the way your pussy grips onto her cock; she enjoys it very very well.

“So fucking tight for me!” Natasha looks down at the scene and saw how her cock wouldn’t even fit inside of you. Smiling smugly, she looks back at you and completely ruts herself inside of you.

“Natasha! Fuck!”

“Oh fuck you feel so good,” Natasha leans her head until her forehead is pressed against yours and thrusts inside of you roughly, making a squelching sound that is formulating the whole atmosphere. Her right hand made its way to your breasts and palms it with no sympathy. You closed your eyes in pleasure or pain – you can’t even think – and moan her name out.

Another smack that went to your face and saw an angry Natasha who was fucking you with no mercy. You wanted to touch your burning cheek but suddenly your hands were pinned against the mattress with her other hand. Her hips are pistoning with ease and watches you squirm under her; this was satisfying to witness for Natasha, all shy and naive – like a slut.

“Such a slut for me, aren’t you baby girl? You’re so fucking pathetic, so fucking dumb – jesus, you’re so tight…” her cock goes deeper inside of you until you feel the tip hitting at the spot that you find pleasure in. The older woman grunts with pleasure as she shields your head with her elbows that were on the mattress.

“Daddy, please! God, it’s too much, I can’t handle it! I can’t–” You try to continue your words but Natasha beat you to it.

“Yes, you can kotenok. Daddy knows best, I promise,” she pulls out swiftly – leaving the tip inside – and thrusts back in again with more force than was firing within her. Your hands flew at her back and held her as her thrusting became more erratic, forceful, harder, faster–

“Daddy, fuck! You feel so good inside of me…” Natasha looks at you, surprised that you were good at dirty talking. You weren’t an expert, not at all, but you like being vocal about how good or bad you feel. And there were so many wrongs in this situation but at this moment, you pushed those thoughts away and let this woman fuck you like some crazed animal.

“Do I bunny? Yeah, you’re so good at taking it for Daddy,” She pants out and brings her thumb against your clit, pushing and rubbing it softly as let out a pornographic moan that filled up the whole room. You were so merciless underneath her, she loved the view that if she could film this right now – she absolutely would, no doubt. Her teeth come intact from your neck as she bites down on you harshly, making your eyes wide open at the sudden pain rushing through your veins endlessly.

“Nat!”

“Shut the fuck up and let me fuck you.”

As soon as she bottoms in on you, you whimper in pain, pleasure, you don’t know. She looks at your watery eyes and notices how close you are to edging; she smiles at you, a tight lip one, until it fades away and thrusts inside of you hard. You gasped and whispered, “Daddy, god… please, I’m so close!”

“You’re just incredibly captivating,” Natasha moans into your ear and pulls you back up until you are sitting on her lap. She lifts her hips, asking you to move yours too and grind on each other rhythimacally. Your hands were on her muscled back as you felt the older woman gripping your hips, taking the lead. You watch her as she tries to pull you back up and down until her cock is seethed through your wet cunt with wet sounds. She looks at you, with her hooded eyes, and leans in to kiss the corner of your mouth.

“Cum for daddy, little one. Just coat my dick with your cum, come on baby, you can do it.”

Your orgasm overtakes your body and felt your head snap back in pleasure, the waves of euphoria rushing through your core and all the way up to your stomach. You twitch as she thrusts all of her length inside of you slowly, completely in awe of how you came undone on her fake cock. She will never get rid of this image in her head.

---------

It’s been two weeks since I captured Y/N, and needless to say, everything was swell for me; even though it wasn’t for her. But, god, it has been wonderful for me ever since I kidnapped the young girl.

I’ve made so many mistakes in my life that I truly, fully, regret. And, I won’t ever do them again because I made a promise to myself that this time it will be natural and normal. Y/N was a whole package for me. She’s smart (not as smart as me), has this naivety that I truly find adorable, and her shyness. I noticed that I like girls who are vulnerable and are easy to manipulate. And, for Y/N, she was very easy.

This young girl, who fell onto my lap, is currently sleeping in my bed – humbly – as I stare at every detail that was on her body. I noticed that her breathing pace would change whenever her nose scrunches from her sleep. Does she dream? Surely, she does. Everyone does, it’s impossible for someone not to dream. Anyways, I wonder what she is dreaming. Maybe it’s about me and how much I fucked her with my strap… or maybe it’s me being romantically in love with her and finally, she accepts her fate that she belongs to me.

Whispering to her, I said: “I will never hurt you, Y/N. You’re safe with me. You won’t end up like Marianne, I promise. You’re different, so so different.”

I sometimes even have this thought that maybe all of this is just an illusion. To test me out. But it felt too surreal to be an illusion. Then, suddenly, I thought about Wanda of how she can manipulate my mind easily. Although I am quite confident enough that she will never possibly do that, she obeys me like Y/N does. Just less sex and tension.

I didn’t even bother closing the door in my room as I tuck myself inside of the blanket, wrapping my arms around the girl I am completely in love with, and kissing the back of her head gently. God, she smells divine. I want to bury myself in her scent so badly. I smile to myself and kiss her shoulders, snuggling more into her and falling asleep peacefully while my arms are still wrapped around her stomach.

A few hours later, I awoke and saw the bed empty. I try not to panic at first since the whole house is guarded. And there were locks everywhere. So, I didn’t worry much. I stood up and grabbed my tank top that was on the ground and walked downstairs to see Y/N sitting on the barstool with a toast in her mouth. My heart completely stopped beating at the sight of my bunny, sitting properly, eating her food.

I couldn’t help myself but ask, “Is your body sore?”

She shrugs and takes one bite of her toast, responding quickly:

“A little.”

I took a few steps and sat down beside her, my elbows meeting on the cool marbled counter. I asked again, wanting to have more conversations with my bunny.

“Was I rough?”

She didn’t hesitate to nod. I smirked at her devilishly.

“Good.”

Yes, I completely agree that I’m a true asshole and a dickhead, and maybe I am. But, I like being cocky towards Y/N. It makes me feel powerful and dominant, like someone taking control. And, I do enjoy that – fully. Without even thinking, I take her gentle hand with mine and slowly bring it to my supple lips, kissing it tenderly while I close my eyes as I try to take in the memory of myself doing this.

“For a kidnapper like you, you have a heart,” she remarks and takes a swig of the cold beer that was on the counter, chugging a few gulps down her throat. Maybe I should take away alcohol privileges from her, I want bunny to be as pure as possible. God, the more I hear myself the more I think I’m a controlling freak.

I chuckled, replying:

“I do, yeah.”

“No like,” I can tell that she’s tipsy because of the way she talks to me. My bunny is starting to slur with her words and I sighed deeply. “Sure, you were kind of rough on me for the past few weeks especially when we had sex but, you’re kind. I guess.”

Something about her complimenting me is making me go insane. I was never used to anyone who would compliment me, so with Y/N, it was just sort of a different energy that I surprisingly grasped quickly. I was so lost in my head that I was staring at bunny’s cleavage and shaking my head, letting out a nervous laugh.

“I just want you to be comfortable with me as possible, my little bunny.”

“And right now I don’t feel it,” she replies with sorrowful eyes. “But, I hate myself when I say that I’m starting to think otherwise when it comes to you. I hate you, I despise the shit out of you, I don’t know if I’m going to die here (you won’t, my detka.) but I feel like I could…”

She stops herself from speaking and her eyes lower to the ground. I was so eager to hear her finish the sentence that I got so close to her, my forehead pressing against hers comfortably – well for me, at least. I watched her as she struggled to swallow, feeling her mouth too dry, and looked back up at me, glistening tears in her eyes.

“I’ll kill myself if I ever fall in love with you.”

She was absolutely being outrageous. Y/N, my bunny, will never try to kill herself. I’ll make sure of that, I’ll tie up her wrists so that she won’t ever go near to any sharp objects or try to grab something to end her life. But, the thought seems terrifying too. And, a lot of people say that falling in love is so stupid and childish but, maybe I’m stupid and childish.

Because right now, I’m in love with her. Completely. And, I don’t technically know how to stop myself from feeling that way for bunny.

I whirled my head and chuckled darkly, “You won’t do that.”

I watch her as she scoffs and crosses her arms to her chest, responding: “I will. You better count your days–”

I’m also an abuser too if no one knew that.

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff fanfic #dark natasha #dark!fic #dark!natasha #dark!natasha romanoff x reader #black widow x reader #black widow x you #smut #natasha romanoff smut #twbseries #natasha romanoff #smut and angst #possessive natasha

[fanficimagery]

When Enough is Enough pt. II

Imagine being let down one too many times by your best friend, only to end up making some new ones in the process.

Words: 8.5K Author’s Note: Okay so some of you asked to only be added to part 2 of this while others asked to be added everything Bucky.. and a few others weren’t exactly clear. So if you want to be tagged in any future Bucky related imagines please let me know so I can get your blog name written down on my list.

Tags:  @aya-fay @70s-chic @sipsteacasually @kaitlyn2907 @scarlettwitch99 @thingsforimagination  @mimilh @felicityofbakerstreet @eternalharry @eliwinchester99 @intothesoul​ @wintershadowkat  @b1sexualtonystark  @meredeph @miszswan

The Sunday before you are to return to work, you sleep in until nine in the morning. Your thoughts are immediately on Bucky's impending arrival and you couldn't help the butterflies that took flight in your stomach. He's a friend, just as all the others are, but you couldn't help but notice just how attractive this new friend of yours is. But not only does his attractiveness draw you in, his easy-going teasing and protectiveness does too. However, Bucky Barnes is still a man trying to find his footing in this world after all that's been done to him and finally getting his name cleared, and if he finds comfort with you then you're going to try your best and be the friend he needs.

So since you're not dressing to impress, you dress in your favorite lazy outfit after your shower- leggings, sports bra, a faded sleeveless band tee with the arm holes having been cut down to around your ribs, and a pair of socks. Damp hair gets gathered up into a messy bun and you walk around your apartment to pick up some things you had unknowingly left out.

You've skipped breakfast, so when there's a knock on your door and you open up to find Bucky standing there, you groan in relief. He raises both hands with paper bags hanging from each. "I come bearing sushi. Wanda let it slip how much you love it."

"Yesss." You step back, quickly taking in his own comfort outfit of sweatpants and a plain black t-shirt under an opened jacket. "Did you bring plenty of wasabi? And you can just kick off your shoes anywhere."

"Of course." He hands you the bags so he can kick off his shoes and strip out of his jacket before hanging it up. You don't know why, but seeing him in a short sleeve shirt makes you happy, knowing full well he was weird about his metal arm being out in the open. "And plenty of dipping sauce as well. Wanda was more than happy to give me advice."

"Wanda, huh?" You chuckle, leading the way to your kitchen. "You actually told her where'd you be?"

"Apparently I looked very pensive this morning. She asked and I figured she was a better confidant than Steve or Sam who would have made a big deal about us hanging out."

"True." Setting the bags down, you let him empty them while you head to the fridge. "Beer?"

"Yeah."

Grabbing him a beer and yourself a can of Cola, you return to the table and your eyes widen at the sight of all the sushi. "Damn, Barnes. That's a lot of sushi."

"Don't act like you won't eat half of it."

You laugh as you take a seat, handing him his beer and pulling a few trays to your side of the table. You take a container of wasabi and dipping sauce for yourself, and grab a pair of chopsticks to start digging in.

You moan in delight at your first taste, happily shimmying in your seat before taking another. Eventually, you ask, "So what are you going to do when I'm back at work and I can't keep you entertained by getting shitfaced?"

Bucky grins around his mouthful of food before chasing it down with a swig of his beer. "We actually got a mission comin' up so I'll be leavin' around mid-week."

"Well that sucks." You sigh. "Now who am I going to send random pictures to when I have downtime at work?"

He grins. "You can still send them to me. I just won't get back to you until after the mission's complete."

"Yeah, yeah."

The two of you continue to eat- Bucky dodging Steve's texts about where he is and when he's coming back, and you sending the middle finger emoji over and over to Wanda who keeps wondering how your date is going. Then once most of the sushi is gone and Bucky puts what little is left into the fridge, the two of you head to the living room. You immediately flop onto the couch as Bucky takes the plush recliner, only for you to hear him moving the chair into its reclined position seconds later.

"Oh. I definitely need to get one of these."

You laugh as he snuggles down and you pick up the remote to bring up your streaming services. "Anything you've been meaning to watch?"

"Not really. Just show me your favorites."

You start off with some humor by playing the Goonies. It's a movie that no matter how many times you've seen it, it always seems to make you laugh. And it seems Bucky is not immune either when they make Chunk to the truffle shuffle. Titanic plays afterwards, but only after making sure Bucky found it somewhat interesting after reading the movie summary to him. He is interested from beginning to end and doesn't even laugh at you when you shed a few tears for the old married couple who opt to stay in their bed as the room floods.

When a break is needed, you head off towards the bathroom as Bucky finishes off the leftover sushi. Both of you check your phones and read each other the missed text messages from Steve and his worrying behavior.

"Wanna tell Steve to fuck off via video message?" Bucky takes a moment to think on it before he grins and nods. "Excellent. Sit in the recliner. I'm gonna crawl up all in your business. That okay?"

"Yeah."

As Bucky gets comfortable in the recliner, you sit on the armrest before sliding down sideways onto his lap. You bring up the camera app on your phone and switch it to video, sliding your right arm behind Bucky's neck while holding your left arm out to capture the two of you on the screen. "Ready?"

"Sure, doll."

You chuckle quietly and then smirk mischievously as Bucky relaxes his expression into his best resting bitch face. After you hit record, you say, "Hey Rogers, stop being a little bitch and sending us text after text. I'm tryin' to fuck your best friend here." Bucky's expression cracks as he barks out a laugh and you turn to face him while grinning. You share a laugh with him before facing the camera once more. "Only joking, but seriously stop buggin' us. I promise to send him back in one piece."

As you prepare to send the text to Steve, Bucky says, "You're terrible."

"Whatever. Admit it, you adore me."

"Occasionally."

You huff another laugh as the video message finally sends. You and Bucky both watch as the delivered status turns to read, and then those three little dots appear as Steve starts typing his reply.

"Tell Bucky to wrap it before he taps it." You burst out laughing at Steve's text, Bucky's rumbling laughter only fueling yours even more. "God I hate your best friend sometimes." And before you climb off Bucky's lap, because honestly you were getting a little too comfortable, you send Steve a few middle finger emojis before deciding on a third movie to watch.

The third movie you choose is one that never fails to make you laugh- Bridesmaids. You had a moment of hesitancy because of the sex scenes, but you figured they were ridiculous enough that it wouldn't be awkward. Thankfully you're correct and you get the added bonus of hearing Bucky's laughter again during Megan's scenes, especially when they get food poisoning and are all fighting for the bathroom.

You and Bucky take yet another break after the film, just stretching and finding something to drink.

"So what's the verdict, Barnes? Are you enjoying the films?"

He grins. "Your taste is all over the place, huh? That last one we watched was raunchy."

"But hilarious! You need to watch the Hangover trilogy, but you definitely need to watch that with Steve and then watch him squirm at the pictures that roll with the credits."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Jurassic Park holds his attention and he can't help but comment how stupid one has to be to replicate dinosaur DNA and then open up a park with live dinosaurs. You laugh, but don't bother commenting. You'll tell him later there are more movies involved, with yet another idiotic man who felt he could get the park up and running once more.

It's getting dark, but it's still a little too early for dinner. One more movie and then you'll order or go out and pick something up.

"So this last one for the day is a movie that's directed more towards the female viewers, but you did ask for my favorite films and Practical Magic is my absolute favorite."

"Well put it on, doll."

As you press play on Practical Magic, you quickly grab a throw blanket and snuggle in. Instead of watching Bucky, you watch the film and mumble certain quotes to yourself. The magic scenes always bring a soft smile to your face just as Gary's confession to Sally of I wished for you too breaks your heart, and Sally and Gillian's heartfelt sister moment makes you cry.

Afterwards, Bucky hums in thought. "So that's your favorite?"

"Absolutely." You tell him. He's watching you curiously and you grin. "If I show you something, you promise not to laugh?"

"I'll try."

"Whatever. That's good enough for me." Standing up, you walk towards him and kneel, and tell him to pull your shirt sideways by the armhole next to your left arm. There on the back of your left shoulder and forever etched into your skin is a salt shaker, a rosemary plant, a lavender plant, and a heart. You then rattle off one of your favorite quotes to him. "Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Plant lavender for luck and fall in love whenever you can."

Bucky chuckles as you get up, retaking your spot on the sofa. "You really are a fan of the movie."

You nod. "As a little girl, I was fascinated by magic. I thought I'd grow out of it, but I only grew more fond of it. And then I found Practical Magic and it had a bit of everything I adored."

"So what's the one scene that just gets you every time?"

"Ugh. You're making me choose?!" You feign being distraught and he grins. As you think about it, you keep coming back to two scenes in particular. "So there's two," you tell him, "and I'm not choosing between them." Bucky nods, awaiting your answer. "Gillian's possession. When Sally calls together the other mothers who were mean to her in order to make a temporary coven to save her sister, and Gillian begs Sally to just let her ghost ex have her."

Bucky hums. "That was a bit sad, doll. I saw you shedding a few tears over that."

"Mhm. And the other scene is when Sally comes clean to Gary and admits that she did a spell as a child to call forth her perfect love thinking it wouldn't exist, only it did. When Gary tells Sally that he wished for her too, it just breaks my fuckin' heart."

"Let me guess, you were one of the girls who cast her own spell after seeing that scene." You stay quiet for a moment and the second you feel your face heat, Bucky laughs. "What did you wish for?"

You groan quietly. "If I tell you, you can't laugh!" He only smiles in response and you know he won't drop it until you tell him. "Fine. So even though I knew it would never work, I gathered the weirdest objects and wished for a significant other with dark hair and colored eyes. He had to be protective and funny and love me for me. Simple."

For some reason you can't seem to meet Bucky's gaze then and you feel awkward the longer the silence stretches on.

"So dinner?" He asks.

"Oh god, yes please. Pizza and wings?"

"Sounds good."

You have the nearby pizza place on speed dial, so after finding out Bucky's preferences you make the call and place the order. It's going to be about a thirty minute wait, so you fill the time sending Steve pic after pic of Bucky who's none the wiser as he scrolls through his own phone and adding the most asinine comments to each picture. Steve thinks it's absolutely hilarious.

Then when the pizza and wings arrive, you beat Bucky to the door and thrust several bills at the delivery boy. He's more than happy with his tip and you hurriedly wave him off before shutting the door. You laugh at Bucky's disgruntled expression and then place everything on the table while gathering a beer for both you and him.

"Don't let me have more than two," you tell him while handing him his own bottle of beer.

Bucky agrees and the two of you dig into your own personal pizzas and boxes of wings once you're situated around the table. As you're eating, Bucky asks about what other movies you hold near and dear. You fill him in on a few others and he hesitantly puts it out there that he'd be up for another movie marathon when you both have a day off. You agree that that's doable.

Halfway through dinner, as you and Bucky are chuckling over the thought of making Steve sit through Bridesmaids, there's a sound of glass breaking from your living room and a muffled curse. The two of you immediately cease making any type of noise and Bucky is up with a gun in hand.

"Where the hell did that come from?! You hiss.

The telltale sound of a window then sliding shut can be heard.

"Shut up and get behind me."

The authority in his voice makes you freeze and your heart flutter at the same time, and you have to mentally scold yourself before you quickly do as he says. You follow Bucky towards the living, ready to duck at the ready, only to sigh and roll your eyes when you see who it is.

Bucky stands tall and lowers his gun. "Parker." You can practically hear the annoyance in his voice.

"Mr. Barnes?" Peeking around his shoulder, you raise your eyebrow at your best friend who's been too busy for you and is now frowning at Bucky. When he catches sight of you, he asks, "What's going on?"

"Uh, well we were having dinner until we thought someone was breaking in."

"Alone?!"

Your brow furrows at Peter's incredulousness, only for him to realize you're not impressed with his tone. You raise an eyebrow at him and cross your arms over your chest. "Did you need something?"

"Oh, um, yeah." He shifts from foot to foot, gesturing to his face where there's a scrape on his cheekbone. "My ribs took a beating too. Can you patch me up?"

"Sure." You sigh. "Why not."

Before you can leave to go to the bathroom to get the supplies you need, Bucky says, "I'll just get out of your way then."

You stop and face him. "What? But we haven't even finished our food. It won't take me long."

"It's fine, doll." He grins when he realizes you're trying to get him to stay. "You gotta hit the hay early anyway. We'll talk soon."

You hold his gaze for a moment longer, sighing when he won't budge. "Well at least take your food with you. No use in it going to waste."

Bucky nods and heads back to the kitchen, collecting his food. You watch him and then follow him to the door, holding his food while he bends over to lace up his boots. Once he retakes his food and you open the door, he thanks you for the time away from the tower and disappears down the hall.

Shutting the door and then heading back into the living room, you tell Peter to get back into his regular clothes so you can get to his ribs while you go gather your medical supplies.

Meeting Peter back in the living room and setting everything down on the coffee table, he says, "So you and Bucky-"

"Don't." You pick up the peroxide bottle and soak a cotton ball in it. "Bucky and I are friends."

Peter manages to keep his mouth shut as you clean the scrape on his cheek and place a small bandage on it. Then when you've checked his ribs and tell him he just needs to ice them, he mumbles, "Friends who apparently lick each other." You snort and think nothing of his sullen tone, but when you look at his face you see he's actually being quite serious. There's no chuckle or boyish grin and for a moment you're absolutely floored at his attitude. "I don't think I'm comfortable with Bucky being alone with you in your apartment."

"Are you- are you kidding me?" You huff and take a step back from him. When Peter just continues to frown, you shake your head at him. "First of all, I'm an adult woman who can make her own decisions."

"I know, but-"

"I'm not finished!" You snap. Peter's eyes widen, but he smartly ceases talking. "I am allowed to have friends whether you like them or not. We have a pact, Petey, and since I'm still abiding by it I would hope that you would too."

"Yeah, but that's for significant others!"

"Significant others or friends, it doesn't matter. And you should be grateful I've kept my mouth shut when it comes to you and Leslie because let me tell you, I've been biting my tongue a lot these past few weeks. Bucky and the others have stepped up since you've abandoned me, so you have absolutely no room to tell me that you're uncomfortable with him or any of them being around me."

"Leslie isn't that bad and I have not abandoned you." You snort, but don't bother opening that can of worms even further. He finally gets annoyed with your quietness. "I'm here, aren't I?"

"You're here because you needed a bandage. Tell me, Peter, where are you going after here? Where are you going after making five minutes of small talk and calling it a night?" He opens his mouth and then snaps it shut, shrugs, and you shake your head at him once more in disappointment. "Exactly. Just go, Peter. I'm so over this conversation right now and I have work in the morning."

"Wait, but we promised we'd never leave a conversation where we were still annoyed with each other!"

"And we also promised we'd never judge who the other decided to spend time with, but here we are." He frowns at you. "Go to your girlfriend, Peter. We'll talk again in another few days or weeks or whenever. I don't care right now."

Peter stands there, gaping, before he pulls himself together and makes his way back towards the window he had crawled through. He glances at you one last time, but you merely keep staring until his mask encompasses his head once more and he lifts the window before taking his leave.

As the window shuts behind him, you sag in on yourself and your breathing stutters in your chest as your eyes fill with tears. You've never been this angry at Peter and the fact that he thinks it's okay to ignore you until he needs something and then has an opinion about who you hang out with was just too much for you to let slide.

You quickly gather everything from your coffee table and return it to its rightful place in your bathroom, and throw away the trash. Your appetite is long gone, so you put up what's left of your food and then head to your room to gather some clothes so you can shower and get into bed.

By the time you've crawled into bed, you're still a bit annoyed. So grabbing your phone, you pull up your text messages and click on Bucky's thread.

To Bucky: Well that was a shit show. I don't think I've ever made Petey leave my apartment while we were still angry with each other.

From Bucky: I'm sorry, doll. Anything I can do?

To Bucky: If he gives you attitude, get a non-serum individual to punch him. You, Steve, and probably Nat will send him flying into the wall.

From Bucky: If I remember..

To Bucky: Well I mean if you forget, I won't complain. I'll probably laugh when he comes crying to me.

From Bucky: You're a terrible human being.

To Bucky: Whatever. You adore me just the way I am. And now I should get some shut eye. I'll talk to you soon. Night, Sarge.

From Bucky: Night, sweetheart.

For the next couple of weeks, you keep yourself busy with work. Bucky and a few others do go on a mission as he said they would, so you keep your texts to a minimum of three each day- a good morning, a random story from that day, and a good night. They're gone for four days and in those four days you've not heard from Peter. The only reason you know he's not completely done with you is the fact he likes your posts that you put up on social media.

But since you're not currently speaking to your best friend and are too exhausted to hang out with anyone else, you're in a bit of a funk and completely caught off guard one evening when the patient a police officer brings in smacks you right across the face. You had been trying to insert an IV into his arm when he completely lost his shit, and then you were hit so hard that you were strewn across the gurney behind you. And in your vulnerable position, a fistful of your hair had been grabbed and yanked right before the police officer had intervened and pulled the patient off of you.

You had been given a bit of time to ice your cheek before you had to get back to work, but your face and scalp were hurting you the entire time.

On your way home, however, you're surprised to receive a call from Pepper. You're heading towards your apartment complex when she invites you to dinner there at the tower since Darcy is finally back in town, and you hate to do it, but you're not exactly up to be around such a rowdy bunch. So you apologize to Pepper and ask her to apologize to Darcy for you, and take a rain check. Immediately she knows something is wrong, but you only tell her you had a rough night at work and all you want is a hot shower and to crawl into bed. She hesitates but wishes you well, and the call ends moments later.

When you get home, you waste no time in locking the door behind you and heading straight for your bathroom. You strip down and take the hottest shower your body is capable of handling, and let yourself relax in the steam-filled room. Afterwards, as you're drying off, you gently dry your hair since your scalp is still sensitive and then get dressed in some of your comfort clothes.

Then heading out into the kitchen, you find some leftovers in your fridge and heat those up, tiredly sitting at your kitchen table and digging in. Just as you're done with your food and heading towards the living room, someone pounds on your apartment door. You sigh, hoping they go away, and have only plopped down onto the sofa when a familiar gruff voice speaks through the wood.

You quietly groan as Bucky tells you he knows you're there and you get up to open the door for him. He's on the verge of knocking again when you swing the door open. "Hey. Pepper said-" He trails off as he takes in your appearance, expression going slack before his jaw clenches in anger. "Who?"

You shake your head, gesturing him inside as you turn around and walk towards your sofa. You hear your door click shut before the footsteps follow you. "Work got a little hectic. No need to hunt down anyone, Barnes. I'm fine."

"Half your face is bruised, doll. You are not fine."

"It's all part of my job." You shrug and plop down onto the sofa once more. Pulling a blanket over your lap, you stare up at your friend. "There will always be a drunk and disorderly patient. I was just lucky he didn't do more damage."

Bucky frowns, but he doesn't push you on it. Instead, he walks over and sits next to you, angling his body towards yours when gentle fingers grasp your chin to angle your face more towards him. "What exactly happened?" He asks as his eyes dart over every inch of your face.

"Some petty criminal did some damage to his head in the back of a patrol car. Police officer brought him in and he seemed pretty docile up until I jabbed him with the IV. He got the drop on me. It happens." Gentle fingers brush along your cheekbone and you flinch. Tears sting your eyes as you sniffle. "I'm fine."

"Just because you keep sayin' that doesn't mean it's true."

Your bottom lip wobbles at his words and you lose the battle with keeping the tears at bay. The moment they fall, Bucky pulls you into a hug and you cry into his shoulder. "Dammit," you mumble. "See what you started!"

Bucky chuckles and he holds you a few moments longer, rubbing a hand up and your back to offer a semblance of comfort. When he lets you go, you fall back against the sofa cushions and wipe the tears away with your blanket. "So what are we watching?" He asks while settling in next to you and draping an arm behind your head.

"Shouldn't you go back to the tower and have dinner with the rest of them? I'm-"

"If you say you're fine one more time, I will drag you back to the tower and let Steve motherhen you."

You sigh. "Low blow, Buckaroo."

"And for that horrendous nickname, you've lost the privilege of choosing what we're going to watch."

You laugh and don't bother arguing with him about it as he leans across you to snag up the remote. When he settles back down and you snuggle into his side, you huff a small laugh when he settles on TLC which is showing 90 Day Fiancé.

"Why this show?" You ask.

"Because it blows my mind that some people are so oblivious and can't see that their chosen partner is only in it for the green card."

As you let his reasoning sink in, you can't help but giggle as you picture Bucky sitting in his own apartment and bad mouthing the TV because he didn't like the decisions the people were making in their love life. You watch along with him, cringing at the more obvious couples that are only headed for future divorce and smiling when one of the couples is actually in it for love.

You manage to almost watch a complete two hour episode when there's a knock on your door, but you're too comfortable to get up and answer it.

"You get it," you say as you nudge Bucky.

He nudges you back. "It's your apartment."

"Yeah, but I don't feel like getting up."

"You could have at least come up with a better excuse."

You grin, finally taking your eyes off the screen and glancing up at Bucky. "M'too tired. Brain's not working fast enough." He continues to give you a deadpan stare until you jut out your bottom lip. "Please?"

The second Bucky's lips twitch, you know you've won. He huffs and roughly pushes himself up off the sofa as if answering the door is a hardship, and you go back to watching TV. At least until you hear a familiar voice stammer, "Uh, h-hey Mr. Barnes. Is Y/N home?"

Your gaze snaps towards the door where Peter is standing out in the hallway, hands in his pockets as he sheepishly stares at Bucky. The man in question turns and raises an eyebrow at you as if saying what do I do and you give him a terse nod to let him know it's okay. Bucky steps aside and Peter readily walks in.

"I should be getting back to the tower," Bucky suddenly says. "You kids have fun."

This time it's your turn to give him a deadpan stare and he smirks right before slipping his boots back on. Then as soon as they're laced up, he's walking out the door and shutting it behind him. Peter, who hadn't stopped staring at the intimidating man, finally turns to look at you. And when he does, his eyes widen.

"What happened to your face?!"

You sigh. "I'm fine. Just had a little incident at work."

"And Mr. Barnes was what? Comforting you?"

"First of all, can you stop calling him Mr. Barnes? You two avenge together and what not. I'm pretty sure that means you're on a first name basis." Peter grins as he takes a seat on the recliner near you, shrugging. "And Bucky was here because when I turned down dinner at the tower, Pepper figured something was wrong. Bucky took it upon himself to check in."

"So are you two like a thing or something?" He wonders.

"We're just.. friends," you say. "For some unknown reason we clicked and we're comfortable in each other's company."

For a moment Peter doesn't say anything, nor will he meet your gaze, but then he's looking at you and sighing. "I'm sorry." You blink at him, surprised to hear the apology. "I shouldn't have freaked out that one night. Who you are friends with and who you decide to date is your business."

You finally smile, even though it's rather small. "Thank you. And don't get me wrong, I know you meant well, but you should have dropped it and just trusted my judgment."

"Yeah. I know," he mumbles.

"Soo.. are we good?" You ask.

"Yeah."

"Good. I was getting tired of you liking my posts and not commenting on them."

Peter snorts. A moment of silence passes and then he says, "So you'll be glad to know that Leslie and I aren't together anymore. I broke it off earlier tonight."

You wince. "Sorry."

"Nah. Don't be. She was totally using me for access to the tower." You're torn between being smug about being right and being sad for your friend who just ended his relationship. "I only realized it earlier when she got upset because Mr. Rogers posted a picture of you and Mr. Barnes together, and she had a few choice words to say about it."

"What? Steve posted a picture of us?" You quickly pull out your phone, checking social media for any notifications. There are none, but as you get on Instagram you check Steve's page and sure enough there's a new pic that shows Bucky staring fondly at you as you laugh at something on your phone. "That little shit didn't tag us!"

As your thumbs move furiously to give Steve a piece of your mind and to comment how adorable you and Bucky look, Peter can't help but say, "You're attracted to him."

Your texting falters and you quickly glance at your friend to gauge his reaction, but when he just looks amused, you shrug. "I mean have you seen him? How could I not be attracted to him?"

"Does he know?"

"I have a feeling he does. Asshole likes to fluster me every now and then."

"Well if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure he likes you back." You snort and go back to finishing up the comment on Steve's post. "I'm serious. When we stopped talking, he threatened me. He was pissed that I made you cry and said I was lucky. He's actually really scary when you're on his bad side."

It takes a moment for his words to sink in and when they do you can feel your ears heating up, followed by your cheeks. Peter starts to laugh and you groan in embarrassment. "Why is this so weird? Dating should be easy!"

"Well he is an Avenger.."

"I don't care about that! He's just- he's really, really hot. It's intimidating."

"Wait, what?" Peter huffs. "So you're intimidated by his hotness and not because he's a super-soldier with a metal arm?"

"Well yeah."

Expression melting into one of confusion, your friend eventually shakes his head at you. "You're on your own with that. Good luck."

You hadn't realized how much everyone had known about your and Peter's brief falling out until the two of you were laughing together once again at the tower. It seemed like everyone had sagged in relief now that the two of you were poking fun at one another once more, and you had to apologize for apparently making it awkward for them.

And now that your best friend knew of your crush on a certain super-soldier, there was lots of teasing material. Of course you kept him in line when you could, but there was no stopping the force of Peter, Wanda, and Darcy combined.

It's a random Tuesday night when you've driven over to the Tower, Bucky having called you over for dinner with a few friends. You had the day off so you didn't mind heading on over, but as the elevator doors slide open after having ridden up to the communal floor, you yelp in surprise as the small gathered crows that shout, "Happy birthday!", at you.

Steve, Wanda, Sam, and Peter pop confetti poppers as you step out of the elevator, eyes wide as you glance between each of them. "My birthday is not until tomorrow!" You hiss.

"But you work tomorrow." Wanda frowns.

"Mhm." Your eyes then narrow, glancing behind them at the streamers and balloons hanging from the ceiling. "And how'd you guys even know?"

Everyone glances at Peter and he takes a step back when your gaze slides to him. He chuckles sheepishly. "I might have hid your birthday cupcake here and Steve found it."

"Petey," you groan. "Why couldn't you just hide it at aunt May's like usual? You know I dislike birthday celebrations."

"You don't dislike them. You just dislike all the attention being on you."

"Whatever. Where's Barnes? He's the one who lured me here under false pretenses. I got a bone to pick with him too."

Everyone turns around and Bucky's head appears from around the corner. He smirks and you glare at him. "Not false pretenses. We are having dinner," he says. "It just so happens to be a birthday dinner. And it's running a little bit late, so until the food gets here you get to open presents."

"You guys all suck."

Peter and Wanda each take a hand and drag you further into the room, heading towards the kitchen. Bucky fully steps out from behind the wall and you aim a kick at his shin as you're walking by. He laughs as he easily dodges it and then you're standing by the kitchen island that's been cleared of everything other than birthday presents.

You huff a small laugh and shake your head fondly at them. "I love you guys, but you do know you didn't have to get me anything, right?"

"Shut up and open the presents," Bucky says.

"Open mine first," Sam says, reaching into the small pile and pulling out a white envelope. "Unlike the others, I was literally told within the last thirty minutes we were doing this so yeah. It's not the best present, but I think you'll enjoy it."

You smile at Sam as you open it, chuckling at the plain birthday card and his brief personal message written inside. But it's what else that's inside that makes you meet Sam's gaze once more, smiling fondly at him. "Thank you. I can't get enough of bubble tea and I'm sure I can do some damage with this gift card."

"You're welcome."

"Mine next." Peter reaches in for a medium-sized box and hands it over to you. "I know you're not a fan of presents, so I got you something I actually knew you'd enjoy."

Raising an eyebrow at him, you pull the lid off of the box. Then glancing down, you snort before pulling out a bottle of Patron Silver Tequila. "I knew we were best friends for a reason."

Steve groans. "Please drink responsibly."

"Please. Responsible is my middle name, Rogers." Everyone snorts and instead of trying to remain serious and feign offense, you end up laughing. "Sam and Buck are good babysitters. You have nothing to worry about."

"That's to be determined," he says. "Here. Open mine. I honestly had no idea what to get you, but Peter assured me you'd enjoy this."

Putting the bottle of tequila back in its box, you accept Steve's gift. Pulling off the ribbon, you can't help but laugh when you see what's inside. "Cards Against Humanity." Peter cheers. "We're playing this the next time I have off," you say, grinning at Steve.

"What is Cards Against Humanity?" He wonders. "I just picked it up and boxed it."

"It's possibly one of the most confusing card games or raunchy card games you'll ever play," Sam says. "I, for one, am looking forward to it."

"Thank you, Steve. I seriously can't wait to play it."

"You're welcome."

Wanda claps her hands. "Mine and Darcy's next. She ordered online and I had to pick it up earlier. But, um, I'm not sure you want to open it up in front of everyone."

"Oh god. Don't tell me it's a vibrator."

Sam laughs out loud as both Peter and Steve start blushing. Bucky looks rather amused and intrigued as Wanda slides two boxes over to you. She shakes her head, giggling. "Not quite."

For a brief moment you're relieved, but then her answer sinks in and you're hesitant all over again. You groan. "Is yours safer? I feel like it is. Which one is it?"

Wanda only smirks as she pushes her box towards you. You open it, marvel at its contents, and then put the lid back on much to the boys' displeasure. Trying to keep a straight face, you look at Wanda. "How many sets did you get?"

"There's four. All in colors that will look amazing against your skin tone."

"Thank you. I'll send you pictures when I wear them."

"Yes please! Natasha wants to know how they fit as well. She was the one who suggested them."

"I'll send them to the ladies group chat then."

"Well that's not fair," Sam complains. "First for not showing us what's inside the box and then you guys have a ladies only group chat. I wanna be in the ladies only group chat."

"But then that defeats the purpose of it being a ladies only group chat," you muse.

"Come on," Peter then whines. "What was the present?"

Your gaze slides to Peter, but instead of outright saying what it is, you say, "Think back to that one Halloween night where you wouldn't let me out of the dorm until I switched costumes."

It takes him only a minute to understand and when he does, he snorts. "That wasn't a costume! That was lingerie."

"Whoa, what?" Sam exclaims, grinning.

"Lingerie can be worn as a costume?" Steve wonders.

"I was actually a Victoria's Secret Angel, complete with the most amazing set of wings, and Petey forbade me from leaving the room. It was a sad, sad night."

"As much as I wanna get into that," Sam says, "I wanna know what Barnes got you more."

You chuckle and glance at Bucky, smile faltering when you see him tense. But then he seems to shake himself out of it and offers you a grin. "Open the bigger one first."

Wanda clears away the other presents as Bucky slides his two towards you. You feel giddy as you grab the bigger box, untying the black silk ribbons and lifting the lid. There's tissue paper you open up and you gasp, happily giggling. "You didn't?!"

"Well you did say it was your favorite movie, sweetheart."

"Yes!" You glance up, beaming at Bucky, and your heart swells at his own smile being directed at you. "I really, really love this. I can't wait to hang it up."

"What is it?" Peter wonders, trying to peer across the island.

"It's a quote from Practical Magic," you say and Peter huffs a laugh, knowing full well your love for that movie. You carefully pick it up and turn it around so everyone can see it as you read it off by heart. "Always throw spilt salt over your left shoulder. Keep rosemary by your garden gate. Plant lavender for luck and fall in love whenever you can."

"Aw," Wanda coos. "That's adorable."

"I made Bucky watch this movie a while back," you say. "I need to show it to you one of these days."

"I'm looking forward to it," she says.

With nothing else to say, you place it back in its box and set it aside in favor for the second box. It's a little smaller, but you're excited for it nonetheless. Untying the ribbon and lifting the lid, you immediately laugh at the white petals scattered atop the tissue paper.

"Barnes, you smooth sonuvabitch," Sam mutters.

Steve and Peter laugh, but you're so focused on the notecard that's under some of the petals. Lifting it up, you read the note to yourself because immediately you know it's personal. My better half has to be funny, get along with my friends, won't judge me for my past, and has decent taste in movies.

Heart fluttering, you bite the corner of your lip when it feels like you're smiling way too much.

"Well what does Prince Charming have to say?" Sam asks.

"That's none of your business." You close the note and then tuck into your back pocket, chuckling when Sam and Wanda complain. When you meet Bucky's gaze, you immediately flush and mentally curse yourself when you see him smirk in return.

Inhaling and exhaling deeply, you center yourself and then part the tissue paper. You look at the second portrait and gasp after you read it.

"What? What is it?" Peter wonders.

This second portrait is of a hand drawn bowl with a tipped over salt shaker, a small bundle of lavender, a small bundle of rosemary, and a heart beneath it. Above the bowl is a swirl of flower petals and inside the swirl of petals, in very pretty cursive writing, are the words I wished for you too.

Did he just- did he confess his own feelings by using a Practical Magic quote? Or was this just you overthinking his present? You glance to meet Bucky's gaze and at his gauging expression your eyes fill with tears.

"What did you do, Barnes?!" Sam scolds him. "You made the poor girl cry at her own birthday celebration!"

But Bucky isn't paying him any attention, instead he's solely focused on you. You set the present aside and walk around the kitchen island on shaky legs, and Bucky readily reaches for your waist as you grab his face and pull him down into a kiss.

You can't believe you're kissing Bucky, but then he squeezes your waist and returns the kiss, and you know you made the right choice.

Someone gasps, but then the following words let you know exactly who it is. "Darcy is going to be so angry she missed this." Wanda. That is Wanda.

"What the hell is going on?" Sam wonders. "What type of present can cause this type of reaction?"

You smile against Bucky's mouth, pressing a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth before falling flat on your feet after having been on the tips of your toes in order to reach his mouth.

"It's my favorite quote from my favorite movie," you say. You turn around to address your friends, but Bucky doesn't let you go far. He wraps one arm around your waist and tugs you back so you're resting against his chest and tucked beneath his chin. "It's a movie about witches," you explain. "These two little girls are being raised by their aunts and they see them performing love spells for a local woman. Basically, one of the young girls refuses to fall in love after witnessing a love spell gone wrong and she does her own spell to call forward a love that would be impossible to find- a man who's favorite shape would be a star and who had one green eye, one blue. Years down the road, the sisters accidentally murder a man."

Sam snorts. "How the hell does one accidentally murder someone?"

"Shush." Wanda admonishes him. "I want to hear the story behind the gift."

You and Bucky chuckle, and you continue to explain. "Anyway, they send in an US Marshall to investigate the disappearance and the one who had done the love spell at a young age starts to fall for this man. She ends up telling him about the murder, but he doesn't quite believe her. Then they're on the verge of hooking up when she gets a good look at his eyes- one green eye, one blue."

"Oh my god. That's so cute!" Wanda says.

"It gets cuter. And sadder," you say. "So she explains to this man about her family, the murder, and how she can't be with him because he's only attracted to her because of a love spell she did when she was just a little girl. At first he's skeptical about this spell bringing him to her, but then he ends up believing her. And as he's walking away from her, he stops to tell her I wished for you too."

"So you made out with Barnes because of that?" Sam shakes his head, chuckling. "Wow."

"It's fuckin' adorable. Stop ruining the moment, Samuel!" Bucky laughs at your words and pulls you closer to him.

"So while I'm happy for Buck," Steve says, "I'm still really curious about what Darcy's gift is."

Peter nods. "Same."

Wanda giggles, but says nothing as she grabs the box and slides it over to you. You groan because you know it can be nothing good, but you still open it since everyone is watching and waiting. As soon as you part the tissue paper and read the box, alongside taking in the picture on the box, your face flames as you shove the lid back on. Wanda cackles.

"I hate her."

"She said to give the remote to-"

"Don't!" You cut Wanda off, blushing even further. "I know who she means to have control of that."

"They- they make underwear that does that?" Bucky muses and you die a little on the inside in embarrassment. You elbow him as he starts to laugh behind you.

Sam instantly knows what the gift is now and starts to laugh, but Steve and Peter apparently need some help.

"Lewis got you vibrating panties, didn't she?"

"Oh my god, Sam, if you don't shut up I'm gonna punch you in the throat."

Steve is torn between laughing and trying not to make you even more uncomfortable, but his amusement wins out. "Given Y/N's flustered state, I'm assuming Darcy wants Bucky to have the remote."

"I mean this seems like it could make for an interesting night."

Everyone laughs at Bucky's sudden interest in the box you're doing your damnedest to keep shut, but luckily Peter steps in. "As much I love watching Y/N squirm, can we get ready to eat? I'm starving."

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go wait downstairs for it, kid."

Sam and Peter head for the elevator to take them down to the lobby, and you turn around in Bucky's hold. "Help me take this stuff to my car so I don't have to do it later?"

"Sure thing, doll." He grins. But instead of stepping away, he pushes you further into the kitchen island. You smile as he cages you in and then huff a laugh when he reaches for the box behind you. "So exactly how long do we have to be dating before we can test these out?"

You slowly lean upward so your lips brush his as you say, "I'd say very, very soon if you would put your ass into gear and help me move these presents like I asked."

Bucky laughs and presses a quick kiss to your lips. "Then let's get to it."

The telltale sound of a phone's camera goes off and you turn your face towards the sound. Wanda is beaming, her phone pointed towards you and Bucky. "Darcy wanted evidence I wasn't lying. She's going to be so happy."

Bucky turns his face to look at her then, his cheek brushing against yours where he's yet to back off from you. "Tell Lewis I said thanks for the present. I'll give her my review of them in a few weeks."

Wanda's eyes widen and you immediately blurt, "Don't you dare!" But she's already texting and you know the group chat full of ladies is going to be full of messages that you'll have to reply to later. Quietly groaning, you slap your hands against Bucky's waist and push him back. Looking up at him, you shake your head but the corner of your lips turn up in amusement. "You're terrible. I would threaten to withhold sex, but I've been looking forward to that for a while. I'd just be punishing us both."

"Just tell me when and where, sweetheart, and I'll be there."

"Oh no. You guys are going to be that couple," Steve complains.

And without missing a beat, you face him and say, "Fuck off, Rogers!" Bucky snorts.

"You're cranky when you haven't gotten laid."

You gasp as Bucky bursts out laughing right in your ear, but he quickly catches you as you try to lunge for his best friend. "You know what, I was going to be discreet when banging your best friend, but now I'm going to tell you all the filthy things Bucky likes to do just to annoy you. I will go into excruciating detail about the look and taste of his dick!"

Steve blanches as it's Wanda's turn to burst out laughing. "You've done it now, Steve."

And as Steve looks to Bucky for help, he merely shrugs. "You brought this on yourself, Stevie. Hope you enjoy the play by plays."

Relaxing in Bucky's hold and moving so you're hip to hip with him, you slide your arm behind his waist and hook your thumb into the belt loop of his jeans. "We're going to have so much fun."

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #marvel imagine #peter parker #bucky barnes #wanda maximoff #sam wilson #darcy lewis #the avengers #avengers #avengers imagine #marvel