#why have I not done this yet??

[rancidsugar]

#star wars #ahsoka series #art #digital art #fanart #sabine wren #ahsoka show #sabine x shin #shin hati #wolfwren #I love them #I’m going insane #first time drawing sabine with long hair??!! #why have I not done this yet??

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[demaparbat-hp]

Almost

#zutara #atla #zuko #avatar the last airbender #katara #zutara fanart #Wip #First page of three is done!!! #Won't be sharing until I have the whole thing but I'm. So. Close!!!!!!! #It's been ages since I started this project omg #But it's worth it #Hopefully I'll get the chance to finish it tomorrow... Won't be making any promises tho #I've missed you guys and I can't wait to share this with you #Anyways I know it's ZK month (and all the content has been WONDERFUL so far) but I won't be participating. Sorry about that. #Working with prompts is such an amazing creative exercise but I know myself good enough to be certain that I'll never get past the first... #... prompt without coming up with seven different AUs and I can't deal with more of those right now lol #Like I've got this Blue Spirit! Katara and Painted Lady! Zuko AU on the works since last week or so. And more lore for the og BS/PL spirits #And also this S3 canon divergence AU... And another one... And another one... #And I need to work on them at my own rhythm otherwise I'll go nuts #So uh #Yeah #Love u all and I hope I'll get to share this one soon (if only to start on yet another comic. I've got ideas for two of them. Yay) #Dema out #(Sorry for the rambling I'm just anxious) #(Don't know why but I stopped caring a long time ago)

[almondpiglet]

wip of a request im trying to finish i’m gonna die painting this!!

#why did i decide to do a background… #i love pain and suffering #i have a big pile of stuff i started recently… i’m bad at planning what to finish first :( #so stuff just comes out done whenever… #this is the reason why i’ve never taken comms yet… i’m too disorganized sadly #my art #wip #mp100 #serirei

[introspectivememories]

too many of you guys think nico is the loser and not lewis for letting the divorce go on for so long. like they're both losers about each other. emotionally constipated idiots who can't talk about their toxic homoerotic friendship that imploded on itself like 8 years ago and are now making it everyone else's problem. yeah nico's on television or in beer gardens talking about lewis all the time but like every other month some reporter is like "lewis, what's your favorite moment in your career?" and lewis no hesitation is like "oh man, karting, y'know? everything was simpler then" and then spends another six months skirting around nico's name. like this whole thing they're doing in the media isn't some kinda extended foreplay for them. they're both still pressing on the bruise to make sure it's still there!!! every few months, they're literally just asking on public television, does it still hurt for you like it does for me? and like clockwork, someone will release new information about them or one of them will say something about each other (in my heart, he's still my best friend/yes... and teammate) and the answer will remain the same, yes, of course, always.

#lewis is unarguably more famous than nico. like i feel like this a fact. and yet every other day nico is in the press saying some crazy shit #about lewis. if i was famous i woulda shut that shit down soo long ago. my ex-bf is in the press talkin bout me constantly??? that feels #like such bad pr and yet!!! lewis has not done anything. why? cause he likes it!!! cause they've never moved on from the 1st moment they #broke each other's hearts. like this is genuinely insane. #im always so nervous to post my thoughts on brocedes cause so many of you were here b4 me and have a better understanding on them #and like being a wrong is like a death sentence to me but still please tell me if i got them completely wrong #i have a lot of thoughts on lewis and his reluctance to talk about nico... most of them being that one quote from emma #if i loved you less i might be able to talk about it more #ok obligatory disclaimer: a lot of this is hyperbole. i don't think that they're asking lewis that ? every other month #but there are like at least 5 interviews where he talks about karting like they're his most precious memories #so make of that what you will #and obv i don't know these people but as someone who's brain chemistry has been permanently changed by them #i think i'm allowed to not only project onto them but also make stupid little posts analyzing them #anyway yeah #f1 #lewis hamilton #nico rosberg #brocedes

[lazylittledragon]

first makeup test for orin!! don't look at the wig i couldn't be bothered to glue it down

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #orin the red #i wish there was better lighting it looked SO GOOD in real life #there is Nothing in this wig yet bc the stuff that's meant to go on top of it isn't done yet which is why it looks terrible #i have 2 weeks to finish this outfit bc i found out i actually can go to mcm so i'm Fucked #it's not the flesh armour. it's Worse #it's More #bc i hate myself #but it'll be so cool i have to do it #if you're at mcm london please say hi i met so many of you last time #i'll also be dorian for at least one day >:))

[hrokkall]

Guest artist for Violence OST

#Caption is completely a lie I drew this for me. #ULTRAKILL #V1 Ultrakill #Gabriel Ultrakill #Gabv1el #<- ? Sure. Why not. #Blood #I hope no one has done this yet. If they have... ah well. Two cakes or something #Hrokkall art

[cinnamon-flame]

I was going through my art folder again and I saw one of the oldest wof stuff I've ever drawn (the fourth one ever I think?) and I redrew it! I love Turtle and I just took this excuse to draw him again

#What's this? two cinnamon posts in a week? #I got so tired of reading about molluscs man #so many snail shells and clam shell hinge types #I finished my notes and run to look for something to draw #I feel like I'm redrawing my stuff recently #but honestly it brings me joy so why not #I have this one drawing I'm constantly thinking about redrawing #the oldest wof drawing I've ever done #it's actually on tumblr it's the one with blue and orange rainwing #but I don't know if I'm ready for it yet #anyway Turtle #I love turtle and my design for this dude #also I took my old anemone design and gave it more jellyfish-ness #I feel it suits her vibe and also anemones are cnidarians too so it makes sense to me #wings of fire #wof #dragons #wof turtle #wof anemone #seawing #cinnamon's doodles #wof fanart

[stealingyourbones]

Short DPXDC Prompts #1009

Boxy gets a hold of a mother box: A 4D sentient computer that can create boom tubes and is a catch all tech device.

#i have no idea why i havent done this yet its low hanging fruit its perfect #dpxdc #bones prompts #danny phantom

[ssaalexblake]

Why is 13's regen abt a white dude and why is 15's regen abt a white dude when do we get rid of that white man that just Cannot let other people have their own moments I swear this is so old, like really, it's a tale as old as time where white dudes are the center of the narrative and universe and everyone caters to them, and I'm so bored of it being celebrated. It's not innovative, it's not new, it's not brave.

#dw shit #dw negativity #im literally actually bored #We've been Knowing the same shit was done to whittaker and gatwa outside the show #and got treated like we're just bitter bc of very real criticism about the optics and treatment of them botj #*both #and worried that the same thing would happen in the show #and uh... #like really? idc abt wacky plot points but I've just spent Years dealing with ppl #digging under the sea to think of reasons to be pissed at anything that happened in or bts in 13's era #and this foul treatment is front and center and it's not an issue? #gatwa deserves the spotlight in the most important moments #he has been denied them both in and out of the show and i have yet to be given a good reason #as to why that's acceptable. #can somebody Please let dt know this shit bc he's a clueless as fuck privileged white dude but by all accounts seems nice enough #and i think he'd Probably care if he had a clue

[tswwwit]

Oh, I'm sure this chapter won't end up nearly as long as the last chapter, I say to myself. Surely I've learned from my experiences, I say. Totally can keep the word count under control, I tell myself, as I put on my clown nose and makeup.

#answers #Around 12k in this chapter and it's not done yet #Last one was 16k and I can FEEL this one pulling at the leash wanting to outdo it #This is just me complaining #I got stuck for a bit then realized I why I was stuck; the scene I had in mind was bad and dumb #The new scene is ALSO dumb but in a very fun way that I hope people will like #Slowly getting to the end here but it'll be a bit before I have a draft #Yes this is Cult AU again

[nonas-third-tantrum]

i’m reading the traitor baru cormorant and the best way i can describe the experience is that it’s like if gideon the ninth was told from harrow’s pov. i do not know what’s happening. i need an unreliable jock narrator to gloss over all the political machinations and tell me how hot (or not) everyone is

#am i enjoying it? idk i think so but again i really don’t have a grasp on the plot #i see why the tlt girlies are all over it though #also it’s taken me over two weeks to read and it’s not even that long! #not done yet so no spoilers please but if someone wants to take pity on me and explain it like i’m five #i wouldn’t say no #baru cormorant #the traitor baru cormorant

[kaeyachi]

The fact that Clothar has repeatedly mentioned how taboo it is that he had an illegitimate child with a non-Khaenri'ahn.

How his family had plans for him that misaligned with how he wanted to live his life with the one he truly loved.

In addition, he is still clearly and vehemently against the archons and worshipping them.

.

.

.

And then we remember Kaeya.

Kaeya, who has implied that he is not a full-blooded Khaenri'ahn.

Kaeya, who may possibly be a child the main Alberich line would have hated or ostracized had the cataclysm not have happened.

Kaeya who is now dubbed by their father as their "Last Hope".

Kaeya, who was left in the city of freedom. The same man who frequently drinks with the very archon his countrymen would have wanted to see dead.

Do you see how it seems like the tables have turned? How the world turned upside-down with just 1 cataclysmic event?

Kaeya is always contradictory to the common definition of the words he is described as on the surface. He is a cryo user who loves the summer season. He is a knight who schemes and plots in the dark. He is a Khaenri'ahn who wants the freedom of Mondstadt.

#kaeya #kaeya alberich #genshin impact #gi kaeya #i am feeling things again #im just in awe with how he was created #how his plotline and history is done #the deliberate lore drops during caribert and his hangout quest all culminated to this understanding #and yet even with all of that it isnt enough #we have barely scratched the surface with kaeya #see this is why im obsessed with the idea of him #kaeya lore

[sualne]

was checking my emails before going to bed only to find out my endocrinologist casually scheduled an appointment at long fucking last

#described in alt text #my art #he's wearing the agender fit from the transgender skins set i drew a few month back #was checking if anyone left a comment on me fic and found this out like okay. crying for a millions years thank you #idk why this is my celebratory doodle. last summer i restart my rewatch of op cause nothing was changing in my life no matter what i did #sent dozens and dozens of job applications but nothing. kept calling doc without ever getting an answer. so i figured i could spend #the foreseeable future watching one piece and hopefully i'll have an answer before im done! did Not happen! lol. had to wait longer. but no #ive got a job and will see my doc & finally be able to start transitionning. im even getting a tattoo. 〒▽〒 woaw #summer hasnt started yet but its already unimaginably better than last one

[loveisloveisacomplicatedgirl]

if character not gay then why character gay shaped

#demon slayer #my hero academia #has anyone done this yet #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq+ #gay #lesbian #trans #queer #nonbinary #asexual #aromantic #gender queer #gender fluid #intersex #agender #etc. because i'm should be asleep #i have places to be tomorrow #why am i always awake #fanfics did this to me #your welcome hopefully

[doodleodds]

Me? Uploading a Halloween comic on November 18th, almost four whole-ass weeks late???? Yeah that’s uh. yup. yeah

Thanks for reading! :) <3

#persona 5 #p5 #akira kurusu #OUGH OH MY GOD ITS FINALLY. DONE. I AM LOSING MY MIND #if you've been following me for long enough: yes! this IS in fact the comic i mentioned that i was making last year. #Fun fact! This is also! The Third Draft of said comic!!! i have redrawn this thing THREE FUCKING TIMES #as a result you may notice that i uh. a) gave up on coloring this thing. no way in HELL am i coloring 30 pages. im not...strong enough #you will settle for simply having monochrome colored panels and you will LIKE IT!!!!! >:OOOOO #and b) gave up on backgrounds! yeah fuck that lmao. i am never drawing people in the monabus again and mementos can kiss my ass!!!!! #i just want to draw my silly little characters & not their environments #and you may also say: sophia. by halloween they are already in Sae's palace. why isn't goro with them and where's haru? #and to that i say shhhh suspend your disbelief. akechi is in mementos carving pumpkins to avoid trick or treaters. #and also haru isn't there because i cannot draw 6+ people in a cramped space yet!!! my art skills are Just Not There Quite Yet :( #so she's staying home and handing out fullsized candy bars to kids. that's where she is while this is all going down #'does akira know it's akechi down there?' :) that's up to you! but i WILL say that I was thinking about Akeshu when i wrote this so. :)))) #ANYWAY if you read this far in the tags im so sorry lmao. thanks for sticking around! Hope you had a happy halloween :) #hopefully i won't disappear for long this time. idk im just gonna start uploading other bullshit art in the interim between comics i guess #probably some fire emblem shit. we'll see. we'll see. anyway bye!! till next time!