#won't be doing every upload anymore

[dashielvlup]

#hey y'all 🙂 #won't be doing every upload anymore #just gonna upload when i feel it #🧡 #dashiegames #dashiexp #mario kart 8 deluxe #dlc #wave 5 #my gifs #pirahna plant

[mariamlovesyou]

tuned into Plestia's live with Rahma Zein's second account (she got shadowbanned). key moments:

plestia talked about her adjustment to living in australia. "it's 1:30am now and it's normal for me and many palestinians who live abroad to be awake hours into the morning. i am scared of sleeping. because of the time difference, i'm scared if i sleep i will wake up to bad news. in gaza i was scared of the sound of the bombs, here i am scared of the quiet."

contacting family and friends in gaza is near impossible. "sometimes i feel like a crazy person, calling 20 times in a row hoping that on the 21st time the call might go through."

on the destruction of entire communities and neighbourhoods: "i'm scared when i go back to gaza i won't recognise it anymore. someone sent me a picture of my neighbourhood, and i couldn't tell it was mine at first. all my favourite places, cafes where the aunties used to give me extra food and ask about my day, have been destroyed. i dread looking at my gallery or seeing snapchat memories because most of these people in the pictures are no longer alive."

rahma asked plestia to talk about one story that stuck with her. plestia said "i remember walking one time on the 'safe corridor', that's what they called it anyway, and i saw an older woman clutching onto a donkey cart where her son's body was, refusing to let go of it. i asked my colleague what the smell was, he said it's dead bodies under the rubble. it was the first time i familiarised myself with the smell. the son's body was decaying and the woman told me about cats and animals eating away at it. i've had children talk to me about birds eating away at their parents' decomposing bodies and not being able to chase them away."

"it seems so silly to go to hospitals for minor sicknesses now. i can't even think about how many palestinian children are going to be terrified of hospitals now. there was a girl who was taken to the hospital to get treatment for injuries by one of the bombs, and while she was in the bathroom another bomb landed nearby. the impact from that sent the ceiling crashing down on her.. she got another injury while getting treated for her first one."

"i hate how people talk about our resilience - as if it's okay that this is happening to us. we are only surviving because we have to, because we have no other choice."

rahma brought up the way family homes are set up in palestine and asked plestia to elaborate. "basically, there are floors. someone will live on the ground floor, and then their married son lives with his children on the floor above them, and then their successors above them and so on. so when family homes are targeted, they wipe out entire families. many families officially no longer exist."

"i used to wear my journalist helmet and vest all the time, felt naked without it, even slept with the vest on sometimes until i realised it only made me more of a target. they didn't give me any protection, only headaches and back pain."

"i am an optimistic person, i loved covering sweet sentimental things, like at my graduation asking parents of top graduates how they feel about their children graduating. that's what i love reporting on. i wanted to cover things like that when i came back to gaza, show the beautiful side of gaza that the media didn't really show, but i didn't have the chance." "do you think they'll give you right of return?" "i can only hope."

plestia mentioned how hard it was being a journalist with limited access to the internet, charging facilities, no mics, lack of equipment and how difficult it was uploading things. rahma asked her what's one story that wasn't really recorded or posted due to these constraints; plestia said "the evacuations. sometimes they informed us about them, sometimes they didn't. you have no idea how hard it was, everyone looking for their family members, making sure every one was there, taking to the streets in 5 minutes and not knowing which way to go. i remember i went to my friend's house for shelter for 30 minutes before the first evacuation was announced and we ran to another family's house, stayed there for 2 days before another evacuation was announced. me, my friend, and that family all evacuated together to another family's house. there were already so many people there seeking shelter, it wasn't just one family staying there. none of us knew how long we had in any place."

before october 7th, palestinians were used to limitations on electricity. plestia used to plan her day's tasks around when the electricity was working. "for example when the electricity was on from 12 to 4, i would say i will do my laundry and charge the phones during this time. life wasn't exactly 'normal', but all of us pray to have those days back in comparison to what we are experiencing now." plestia also said that cars are running on cooking oil now because there is no fuel.

on hygiene: "many pregnant women have to give birth without any pain medication or medical attention. once we ran out of medicine, that was it. women who had to get C-sections couldn't stay to recover or get followup treatments because someone else needed the bed. we have no water, no tissues, no pads, barely any bathrooms. in the shelter schools you have to wait an hour before even getting to use the bathroom because of how many people are there."

"something you don't hear about is how many people die because of sadness. there's so many ways to die in gaza, because of the bombardment, because of starvation, the lack of resources, but i also know many elderly people who died because their hearts couldn't take it anymore. i have been in gaza before and lived through 4 aggressions, but nothing compared to this one."

a recurring sentiment that was echoed in the video: "sometimes i thought to myself: who am i recording this for? because we've already shown everything, we've already talked about everything. everything has already been said, the proof is everywhere, nothing i talked about today is new." rahma said the first video posted about what's happening in palestine should've been enough.

she is 22 today. plestia's closing words: don't stop talking about us, don't stop boycotting, don't stop protesting, please don't get bored of fighting for palestine.

#this is all off the top of my head if i remember other key points i will add them

[jammed-out]

Pretty Dolls Are For Playing

"Pretty Dolls Are For Playing."

Your head dropped into your chest, your eyelids fluttering as everything started to get blurry. The trigger that was embedded deep into your mind began to take over. You felt your knees bend inward, slamming together as you slumped over. Your shoulders fell forward as your breathing slowed. Your mouth hung open, a drop of drool falling over your bottom lip and stretching down to the floor.

You could feel your thoughts slow to a halt. Gone was the professional employee giving a presentation to their boss. Instead your hung over limply, your neural pathways rewriting themselves, erasing every bit of the person you were, replacing it with a hollow plastic shell. Your eyes glossed over, your vision growing unfocused.

You snapped upright, your eyes wide, shoulders back, standing at attention. Your hands were turned outward, the papers in them tossed onto the floor as they sat at your side completely open, palms facing forward. You felt so light and perky, smiling with a big bright smile.

"Pretty Dolls Love Being Played With!"

Your boss smiled and began to undo their pants. You stared straight ahead, not even glancing over at their actions. You didn't exist anymore as an employee, you were a doll and you were waiting to be played with.

You could feel your bosses' hands run over your body, slowly stripping off your shirt. They groped and fondled your nipples, pinching and twisting them before sliding down to your pants. They undid them, pushing them off of you. The fabric pooled around your ankles. You felt them lift your legs out, keeping your shoes on as slowly they moved you over to the desk, bending you over it.

You could feel their fingers enter you, playing with you while you lay there, still, limp as you were played with. Your body trembled with pleasure internally, your empty head filled with bliss at being used for your purpose.

Time passed by unknown to you. Your legs were covered with sticky cum. You didn't know whether it belonged to you or your boss. Slowly they put your clothes back on you and sat you back at your desk. In your haze you could see your other coworkers peeking in at you. Maybe they'd play with you too before you woke up. A good doll like you could only hope that you would get more playtime.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello all. Sorry I missed the upload yesterday. I won't be doing a poll for next week. I'm going to be taking a slight hiatus from my posting on here just for a bit while I figure some stuff out. I've still got plenty of things in my queue to drop.

I'll be back though. Until then, there's plenty of old stuff to go back and read.

#brainwashing #hypnosis #mind control #hypnotism #my writings #dollification #free use doll

[delulujuls]

brazilian air | as12

hi, i am in my classic f1 era rn and i am currently obsessed with mr Senna god he was so fine and since it's his bday today i thought that im gonna upload this one bc why not

also im like 100% sure that this one will flop but i wanted to upload this anyway, so if you'll find it worth a shot, enjoy then!

happy bday king, 64 today but 34 forever, you'll always be missed

summary: during a month break from racing, ayrton thought that inviting y/n into his family sides will get them along even more. to the surprise to both of them, they got along even better than expected

warnings: sexual content, fingering, female orgasm

pairing: fem!mclarendriver x ayrton senna

After the Sao Paulo Grand Prix, there came a monthly break, even though it was only the second race of the season.

The end of march was very warm, but the weather in Brazil had its own rules. Just as in London there was probably a downpour and the temperature barely above ten degrees, the other side of the globe had almost holiday-like weather.

The 1990 season was the second year when Y/N took Alain Prost's seat at McLaren, thus becoming Ayrton Senna's teammate. While many did not look favorably upon Ron Dennis's decision for various reasons—because Y/N was the first woman in history to have the opportunity to race at the top level of motorsport, her debut in Formula 1, her young age, and the fact of what kind of past Senna had with his previous teammates—with each passing month the doubts started to going away.

The girl handled herself on the track incredibly well, and since McLaren did not disappoint with their cars, she practically returned from every race with points, effectively shutting the mouths of all those who spoke unfavorably about her.

Even Ayrton himself, who was initially the most unconvinced about the boss's decision, also didn't need much to change his mind about her. At first, he approached her with distance, fearing that her joining the team might cause even more damage than when they had Prost in reserve. As it turned out, the girl was not his enemy; often, he himself silenced all those who attacked her and questioned her abilities.

Senna saw that she looked up at him as her authority. She never explicitly told him, but it was evident how she listened carefully to his advice, asked when she had doubts, and consulted almost everything only with him, although she had a whole crowd of people around her.

Ron breathed a sigh of relief seeing that they tolerated each other and there were no forecasts for them to repeat the Senna-Prost scenario. However, tolerating each other was an understatement, because Ayrton would never invite someone to his family's sides whom he merely tolerated. The Brazilian didn't admit it out loud, but he liked the girl. Sometimes he even caught himself thinking about her when she wasn't around, and when she was, he smiled a lot more in her company, whereas McLaren's garage used to be a place of nerves and tense atmosphere for him.

Yes, if someone asked him about Y/N, Ayrton would say she was his friend. Someone he never had after leaving Brazil.

"How do I say in Portugese that I can't eat anymore?"

The girl asked, lying on her towel stretched out on the hull of the motorboat belonging to the Senna family.

Y/N shielded the sun with her hand and glanced at Ayrton, who laughed at her question, sitting next to her and smoking a cigarette.

"It's not funny, your mom wants to fatten me up so that I'm heavier and slower than you on the track."

"Não aguento mais, tô chei", but even if you say it in Portugese, my mom won't listen to you anyway."

"I've never eaten such delicious food, but when we get back, I probably won't fit into my clothes anymore."

He released smoke from his lungs and involuntarily glanced at her when she turned onto her stomach and closed her eyes. Her hair, still wet from bathing in the lake, stuck to her shoulders, and her skin, once pale, slowly began to take on a blush from the sun.

"You look good, so don't worry."

"I didn't say I would look bad, just that I won't fit into my pants anymore."

"As long as you can fit into the car, you'll be fine."

The girl snorted, "Well, in that case, I have quite a reserve."

Y/N gathered her hair behind her shoulder and settled more comfortably, exposing herself to the pleasantly warming rays of the sun. Ayrton glanced down her body and only when the heat from his cigarette burned his fingers a little, he snap out of it. Did he really like the girl, or was it just that he spent so much time with her that he got used to her? He didn't know the answer to that question, but he knew that sometimes he found himself staring at her for a bit too long. Despite being a few years younger than him, she had feminine charms. He also objectively thought that the girl was attractive.

She didn't have much of a different opinion about him either because in her eyes, Ayrton was indeed a handsome man. He was tall, athletic, had beautiful brown eyes and hair of the same color, which often fell in curls onto his forehead. She liked his smile and the way he wrinkled his nose, which, like most of his body, was covered in freckles. But Ayrton appealed to her only as an older teammate, someone who was completely out of her reach, and for whom she was probably just an insignificant kid. At least that's what she thought.

They spent time at the lake until late afternoon, as for dinner, besides Ayrton's parents, his sister with Bruno, his nephew, was also supposed to appear. Upon returning to the Senna family's home, the girl took only a quick shower and threw on a thin, white dress because even though the day was slowly coming to an end, the temperature was still high. They spent the evening on the terrace, and time passed in a very pleasant atmosphere. Mrs. Senna made sure that only delicious dishes appeared on the table, while Mr. da Silva entertained the company with stories and jokes. Although Y/N didn't speak anything in Portugese except for the short phrases Ayrton had taught her, there were no communication problems for a moment. At one point, little Bruno grabbed the radio and turned up the volume, pulling the girl by the hand and inviting her to dance. The girl, already somewhat tipsy from wine, agreed without hesitation and followed the six-year-old, dancing with him barefoot on the still warm concrete. Ayrton's mother and sister sang along with the song, his father clapped his hands, and Ayrton himself looked at the scene with tenderness, laughing and sipping his beer. She took the boy in her arms and spun with him, dancing, to which Bruno laughed out loud. Although Ayrton's family had only met Y/N a few days ago, he was convinced, seeing with his own eyes, how much they liked her. It meant a lot to him.

"Tio, agora tio Ayrton!"

Bruno shouted and pointed at the man when a new song started playing. Ayrton laughed and shook his head, to which his sister started pulling his arm and, to the sounds of approval from the family, he stood up and approached the girl, who put the boy down on the ground.

"Querida senhora," he extended his hand towards her, slightly bowing, "may I?"

Y/N chuckled and nodded, extending her hand, which was met with numerous shouts and whistles.

"I can't dance, I can't dance at all."

She said through laughter when he pulled her closer and placed his hand on her waist.

"Everyone can dance to Brazilian rhythms, trust me."

Ayrton replied with an assuring smile and spinned her around, catching her again after a moment. They danced, understanding each other without words, laughing only when one of them accidentally bumped into someone or stepped on someone's foot.

The girl didn't know if her cheeks were burning from the sun, the alcohol, or the fact that she felt embarrassed by being so close to him. But she felt light and happy enough not to dwell on it. She wanted this evening to last as long as possible.

However, at some point, Bruno fell asleep on the chair, and Vivianne took him in her arms, announcing that she would put him to bed and she will also take a rest, wishing everyone a good night. Ayrton's mother, seeing that his dad had had enough beer, took him by the arm and, amid numerous protests, escorted him inside. The girl helped carry the dishes to the kitchen, and when she brought in the last batch of plates, Ayrton's mother hugged her tightly.

Y/N returned her embrace with a smile, wishing her a good night before returning to the terrace.

Seeing the expression on her face, Ayrton smiled too.

"They liked you, but I'm sure you noticed that yourself."

"They are very kind," the girl replied, closing the terrace doors, "you have a truly wonderful family."

Y/N approached the table and took a chair to sit on it, but Ayrton straightened up and patted his knees, indicating that she should sit on them. The girl accepted the invitation without protest and sat on them sideways, embracing him around the neck.

"I'm glad you agreed to come here with me," he said, looking into her eyes, to which she smiled.

"I'm glad you invited me."

For a moment, they looked at each other in silence, she on his lap, with her hand on his bare shoulders, he with one hand on her waist and the other caressing her exposed thigh. He raised his hand and brushed a lock of her hair behind her ear, touching her flushed cheek. The girl smiled at his gesture and closed her eyes.

"You're important to me, you know?"

"I am?"

She asked, looking at him again.

Ayrton nodded, stroking her cheek with his thumb. Y/N threaded her fingers into the hair resting at the base of his neck, stroking it lightly. At one point, without thinking or saying a word, he leaned towards her and kissed her. She kissed him back, touching his cheek with her other hand. Ayrton didn't break the kiss, he just hugged her tighter, pressing their bodies together. Y/N was returning each of his kisses and after a while their tongues started their love dance, rubbing against each other. Even though they were both a bit drunk, Ayrton wasn't sure how much he could afford. However, when she slightly opened her legs, giving him a silent invitation, he squeezed her thigh to which she sighed. He smiled against her lips, continuing to kiss her. He stroked her leg, moving higher and higher with each movement. When he felt the fabric of her underwear with his fingertips, he pulled away slightly, wanting to look at her face and see her reaction, but she pulled him closer again, connecting their lips in a kiss.

"Do not stop"

Ayrton smiled against her lips and deepened the kiss in response. He ran his fingers over her pussy and she purred softly. He began to slowly massage her through the fabric of her panties, but when they began to get in the way after some time, he pulled them off her with a quick movement.

His lips soon moved to her neck, marking it with kisses. She tilted her head, giving him better access to her. Ayrton accidentally slipped the strap of her dress, but neither of them cared. The girl noticed it only when he sucked on her nipple, which made her moan involuntarily.

"You have to be quiet, can you do that?"

He asked quietly, glancing at her ecstatic face. She just licked her lips and quickly nodded. He ran his tongue over her nipple again, his hand still massaging her pussy. When he felt how wet she was, he slowly inserted his finger into her, but carefully watched her face, continuing to caress her breasts with his mouth. He looked at her, wanting to make sure they were both on the same page. However, his actions were perceived with enthusiasm, as the girl tilted her head back, letting out a muffled moans from her pursed lips. Ayrton smiled to himself, still peppering her breasts with kisses. He inserted his finger all the way and started moving it, expertly nudging her inner, sensitive spot. Y/N had a hard time staying quiet, especially when he added a second finger and his movements inside her started getting more precise and decisive. The girl covered her mouth with one hand and grabbed his wrist with the other and pushed him harder into herself, feeling that she was only seconds away from orgasm.

"Ayrton, I- oh my god…"

Y/N wrapped her arms around his neck again and dug her nails into his bare shoulder.

"Kiss me, quick"

He said quietly, his breathing also quickening. She complied with his command and kissed him, making him muffle her moans with his mouth. Y/N came on his hand soon after, squeezing her eyes shut and tilting her head back. After a few moments, the girl sat up straight again, trying to calm her breathing. As she slowly began to realize what had actually happened, the blush on her cheeks intensified even more. She looked at him uncertainly, he laughed seeing her reaction and kissed her on the cheek.

"Don't look so innocent, you're quite a good one."

The girl felt ashamed and closed her eyes, cuddling into him, and he hugged her tightly.

"Promise me that no one in your family will sit in this chair for breakfast."

Ayrton chuckled and rubbed his hand on her back.

"I promise, don't worry about it," he rested his cheek on her head, "We can go somewhere else if you want."

The girl raised her head and looked at him.

"I won't be able to keep quiet, Ayrton. Your parents-" "Don't worry," he interrupted her, taking her panties thrown on the chair next to them and handing them to her hand, "I'll make sure you keep your mouth busy."

#f1 imagines #f1 #f1 one shot #formula 1 #f1 oneshots #f1 imagine #as12 #ayrton senna #ayrton senna x reader #classic f1

[jessicaloons]

Masterlist - Invisible String

Charles Leclerc. Lizzie Doetterer. Childhood best friends. But maybe even more

New Chapters every Sunday (or rather I try to upload every Sunday 🙈)!

I’m starting a taglist. If you want to be added to it, drop a comment!

Meet the characters down below!

Chapters:

1. Just to learn that my dreams aren’t rare…

2. Hold on to the memories, they will hold on to you…

3. I have this thing where I get older, but just never wiser…

4. Saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts…

5. Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye, you were bigger than the whole sky…

6. Because these things will change, can you feel it now?

7. All that bloodshed, crimson clover…

8. I can tell that it’s gonna be a long road…

9. And when we go crashing down we come back every time…

10. You been stressed out lately. Yeah, me too…

11. ‘Cause it’s all over, it’s not meant to be…

12. They think that it’s over but it’s just begun…

13. But I come back stronger than a ‘90s trend…

14. And it’s coming over you like it’s all a big mistake…

15. You can see it with the lights out: You are in love…

16. The devil’s in the details, but you got a friend in me…

17. But there was one prize I’d cheat to win…

18. You learn my secrets and you figure out why I’m guarded…

19. Kiss me on the sidewalk, take away the pain…

20.1 Ask me what I learned from all those years…

20.2 Ask me what I earned from all those tears…

21. I had the shiniest wheels, now they’re rusting…

22. ‘Cause baby, now we got bad blood, You know it used to be mad love…

23.1 Freedom felt like summer then, on the coast…

23.2 Freedom felt like summer then, on the coast…

24. Every time you call me crazy I get more crazy

25. The world moves on, another day another drama…

26. I swear I don’t love the drama, it loves me…

27. But the story of us might be ending soon…

28. I can't find a pulse, my heart won't start anymore…

29. 'Cause you kiss me and it stops time…

30. It was the end of a decade, but the start of an age…

31. I watched it begin again…

32. Don’t say I didn’t, say I didn’t warn ya…

33. The rumours are terrible and cruel…

34. My knuckles were bruised like violets…

35. I’m standing on a tightrope, alone…

36. I can do it with a broken heart…

37. I think I am finally clean…

38. You gotta step into the daylight and let it go…

39. Don’t blame me, love made me crazy…

40. And some things you just can’t speak about…

41. I like shiny things, but I’d marry with Paper Rings…

42.

43.

Meet the character’s of Invisible String:

#charles leclerc #charles leclerc 16 #formula 1 #f1 2023 #scuderia ferrari #ferrari #female driver #charles leclerc f1 #charles leclerc fic #f1 fanfic #cl16 #f1 x female driver

[whereserpentswalk]

You know a girl whose going to be uploaded into a computer soon. It's pretty common nowadays, like not so common most people know someone whose had it happen to them, but common enough so that everyone knows about it.

She says she has to do it for her job. Like, it's not required, but every aspect of her job is 100% online so it's just more convenient for her employers that way, making her a lot more enjoyable. Plus not having things like sleep or food to worry about would cut costs a lot. And she might eventually be able to get a new body once she gets promoted a few times.

You feel really sad for her. You know a lot of people who've had to become cyborgs or even full robots for both work and personal reasons. But being fully uploaded into a computer with no way of accessing the offline world is way to drastic a move for most people to go to, even out of desperation. But while she's still here, you try to get to know her, since you won't have her for long.

She seems really nice. Graduated from a top business school, but she seems to actually be pretty class conscious. Mabye she though gaining power in the system would help her help the world, she wanted to work for an eco friendly company but that didn't pan out well.

She's trying to spend her last weeks with a body as best she can. Sometimes that just means hanging out around the city, you try to take her around to places she might enjoy. You grew up here and she didn't so of course you know a lot of really cool places to see. You took her to neighborhoods you love walking around, to little corners you can only see in person, and little shops that can't be replaced by websites. You take her to a meusum, and spend so much time looking at things that hit diffrent when you see them up close, massive radiant paintings, and glistening gems, and alien fossils, all of them soon to be gone to her, when everything is equally far away.

You spend time doing things with her body that she won't be able to soon. She tells you not to feel sad, that she chose this, though she seems a bit sad herself. She savors the sensation of sleep while she still has it. She trys all kinds of food that she won't ever taste soon, she's laughs a bit that there's no use in dieting now. She asks you to cuddle, and you cuddle her, because you know she needs that human touch while she can have it. She asks to have sex, you had to get neutered for your last job so it doesn't normally interest you anymore, but you'll do it for her. She doesn't want to leave this body having never known how it feels and you understand. When she falls asleep in your arms you call her pretty, and hearing that about her face makes her cry.

Eventually it's time for her to go. You give her one last hug, hoping she can carry it as the last thing she feels. You take the train with her to the uploading station. She seems to have regrets, seems to not want to go through with this, but she's committed to it now. You tell her she can still back out, and find another way to live, that it's not to late as long as she's in her body. She tells you to stay strong for her when she's gone.

When she uploads herself she leaves the first pick of parts from her body to you. It was a healthy one, really nice for her age. You take her reproductive organs so you can finally be unnutered again, and take her eyes to cure nearsightedness, and a few muscles to undo chronic pain. It hurts to know you're taking her apart like that, but somebody was going to, and it's not her anymore. At least you'll carry a bit of her now.

Now that she's uploaded you talk to her a lot through social media. She seems like she misses a lot of the world. You try and show her what you can through photos, and talk to her as much as possible. She misses hugs more then anything, and tells you how boring life is without sleep. You wish you could have done more. She wishes she had listened.

#196 #my thougts #worldbuilding #writing #my worldbuilding #my writing #urban fantasy #leftism #leftist #anticapitalist #anticapitalism #anti capitalism #anti capitalist #cyborgs #cyborg #cyberpunk #dystopia #robot #robot girl #body horror #scifi #science fiction #science fantasy #magical realism #short fiction #short story #flash fiction #weird fiction #horror #ai

[kanmom51]

Dear. Army

I went to bed last night thinking that we won't be getting anything substantial on 7/6 even though we had a calendar showing us this:

Only to wake up this morning to discover this was uploaded to Weverse at 10pm KST on 7.6.23 (and an hour later to YT).

Where do I start?

By saying how amazing JM is, how much I love him and his voice and this song.

This man is an angel pure and simple.

What did I notice?

First of all the big ass miss out by releasing it at 10 pm KST and not 10:13 pm. All it took was a little more thought put into it. Just a little more.

Well, the next most obvious is of course the absence of a certain Jeon Jungkook in person, performing this song together with JM.

And why do I say in person?

Because even though every other single background sound and vocal was wiped from this performance, JK's background vocals, although subdued, were still there.

Do I admit that I am disappointed?

Fuck yeah.

I'm not only disappointed, I'm actually furious. Not at JM. Not at JK. But at the friggin company that isn't allowing those two to be in one frame, and has been doing this for months now.

And if you pipe up and say: "well that's not true, we've seen them in content together", stop for one second and think about what you are saying, what content that was. Ot7 content (no choice they are all there - and when they were, thinking of the last BTB JM was as loud as fuck, can't help but wonder why - or not) and JM's dance practice BTB, in which we got to see less than a minute of JK at JM's SMF pt. 2 practice. And about that one: first of all, we probably wouldn't have gotten to see that one if not for JM and JK's interaction in JM's live mentioning JK came to see him practicing, and second of all, go have a lookie what was shown to us in that BTB (we don't even get to see JK arriving to the practice - perhaps not to show us not JM's reaction to him arriving nor just how long he stayed there) and compare it to the Like crazy MV BTB and Jhope visiting JM.

And I'm sure I said this before, how stupid this all is, when it's as clear as day (well, thank god for JK and his rebellious streak) that these two are as close as can be. Couple or not. So wtf is the company so scared of? At this point, with everything that JK has been doing in the past few months (and it's not only JK, JM is part of it too of course, but admittedly JK is just not giving a fuck anymore, while JM is doing what he can within his own respectful and very intelligent way) it's bloody ridiculous not having them in content together.

You may think I'm over reacting here, but this is a long time coming, this angry rant of mine. And this here, as expected as it was, it pushed me over the line.

Like I said, It's not like I didn't see this coming. I knew in my heart that they will do this. Try to nullify Letter's importance to JM and JK. Whitewash it as a song for army. But somewhere, somehow, I still had some hope. Well, that one was a bust. And I guess knowing it's coming doesn't change that ache in the gut once it actually does come.

I ask myself, would it have been too obvious in their books? JM and JK singing this together? But why? If it's an innocent letter to army? A token of JM's love for army?

I guess we all know the answer to that.

So, then I am sitting here and thinking about what I said about JM.

How intelligent he is. How he does things within the 'allowed' limitations but still gets the message through.

He did it with the song's name for starters. It's not "Dear Army", which would make it addressed to army, it's "Dear. Army". By adding the period between the Dear and the Army, you literally have him addressing 2: Dear (which we know exactly who that is) and Army.

We have said this over and over again. This song is a song for JK disguised as a song for army. Dear does come first out of the two after all, lol. No, but this is just how things have to be, as long as they remain closeted, and that is totally understandable. This is how JM is telling us all what his feelings are for JK. He's telling JK and us. I know that there are those who believe that the song is talking to us in some parts and to JK in others. I'm not one of them. I believe this whole song (and the original lyrics say it all in my opinion) is addressed to JK. He is Dear. He is the one the Letter was written to. But in saying that, it was given as a gift to us. JM is allowing us to see what they mean to each other. And a gift that certainly is.

I also think about the fact that JM in this performance stripped the song down. No wave sounds. No harmonica. None of his own background vocals. The guitar, it's not him playing (unlike in the actual recorded song). All making it a little less personal perhaps (while singing it to army for Festa). But then, he made sure to leave one thing, and that's JK's background vocals, as soft as they may be, they are still there.

2 things I get from that (and yes, this is art and it's open to interpretation):

First of all, he's stripped the song of it's intimate setting (settings that were him and JK and what was between them).

Second of all, he left JK's vocals in but softer. JK isn't there with him, but JM is still telling us that JK is an inseparable part of this song. That the song can still exist without the waves and the harmonica and his own background vocals, but not without JK. JM even goes quiet at one point during that verse so we can hear JK's vocals clearer.

Maybe that's me being over melodramatic here, but that's what I feel at the moment.

Did you notice how JM doesn't look once at the camera, at us, while singing the song? Not once. The first and only time he looks at the camera, at us, and smiles, is when the song ends.

You know why?

Cause the man, he ain't singing that song to us. He's singing it for us to hear, but we aren't the recipients.

Oh, and did you see the smile on his face once he starts the verse with "baby", yes, that same verse where JK joins in?

I'm sorry, but you can even hear the smile in his voice as he's singing "baby"...

I apologize that this post isn't all filled with joy and gratitude that we got to see JM performing Letter (Dear. Army). But I have always been honest with you guys, and that is not going to change.

Don't get me wrong. I'm over the moon that we got to hear JM sing this live.

But I'm also sad.

I'm sad because I know how important this song is to both JM and JK. I know that JK would have joined JM in a heartbeat if only given a chance to, or more so, if allowed to. There is no way under the sun that JK was given the chance and declined. NO WAY. So there you have it.

#Jimin #JM #JM Letter #JM Dear.Army #Jungkook #JK #Jikook #Kookmin #Minkook

[eydi-andrius]

I Know You Don't (Nanami Kento x Reader)

Summary: The most painful heartbreak is realizing that you fell out of love

a/n: damn, i'm back writing something sad again. If you followed me a while back, you know I enjoy writing the most gut wrenching stories. I was playing with this story for a while but never had the heart to continue. This is Nanami after all. But I know this type of story is so Nanami coded. Anyway, when Taylor Swift finally dropped You're Losing Me. I just know I have to write this down and upload today.

cw/tw: angst, break-up, implied divorce, hurt with no comfort, no happy ending (at the moment)

💌 divider by: @/cafekitsune

The moment you realized that you don't love Nanami anymore was when he texted you that he won't be home today again on time for dinner due to work. There was no hurt, resentment or anger inside of you anymore. You felt nothing at all. You don't even feel the tears that run down your cheeks and were even wondering why your visions were blurry. Not even sure if it was due to happiness, sadness, or relief when you chuckled to yourself. The tears won't stop coming down, and you broke down on the sofa, which you two have bought, chosen and loved together. And even knowing that, you don't feel anything special about it anymore. It was just a sofa, a piece of furniture in a room, in this house you are living in with someone.

—------

When Nanami opened the brown envelope you were apparently adamant for him to receive and read that day, to the point that you personally visited his office, the place you curse every time he mentions he was busy, he admits he was confused and annoyed at the same time.

“What do you want this time?” Was the only question he had on his head as he carefully took out the papers and read the content written in those white sheets.

Your relationship with each other was spiraling downwards recently. It wasn't always like this. It was your anger that put your relationship in a rocky situation. Or at least he tried to reason out when he knew damn well that it was his lack of time and tons of unfulfilled promises that lead your anger to storm out and destroy everything it touches. He just doesn't like the fact that he was the only one to blame. He doesn't want to admit it. Because his feelings for you never change. He loves you, he still does, and there will be no other one for him. You will always be the one. But maybe you two have reached the end of your chapter. Patience and understanding have run out.

He had to read it a couple of times before the words “divorce papers” finally sinked in. He went rigid. The splash of cold water of reality woke up a fear in him he didn't know existed. The buzz of the crowd around him drowned out as his head repeated the same words over and over again: You’ve had enough. His wife is now leaving him.

He is losing you. No……he lost you.

—-------

“When was the last time you saw me still wearing my wedding ring?” A million dollar question you always wanted to ask of him.

When Nanami stormed back to your house, looking worse to wear, you admit that you feel bad at not being moved by it. There was a time where you imagined what you would do if he came rushing to you when you finally called it quits. Imagine different scenarios of heartbreak you could think of and words that can cure the displeasure. At this point, you were just sad not feeling THAT pain, to see the love of your life, begging you to come back to him.

“I- I don't understand.” He admitted, mouth agape, surprised and sad.

“I know.” You replied……rather at peace of knowing something about him for once. After all those days and months of fighting with each other. Nitpicking the wrongs and what could have been. His response only solidifies your resolve.

—-------

Too peaceful for Nanami’s care. He froze when you replied to his confusion with a smile and understanding. He is terrified. What could have happened inside your head for you to smile like that? He thought he would feel betrayed once he goes back and confronts you. But seeing you right now, his world shattered and his heart squeezed in sorrow of failing you. He thought a break up was the most painful experience, he is now understanding why no one was talking about this kind of heartbreak. No one has the heart to. It was that type of pain where you’d rather keep it in and die with it.

—-------

“No.” Nanami shook his head and you only titled yours at his response. Is there truly something worth fighting for when the other line already gave up and raised their white flag of surrender?

“Nanami, it's not for you to decide.” Feeling a bit frustrated and unheard, you decided that you’ve had enough of him. Walking towards the door and opening it up for him, you showed him the way out.

He remained seated, unmoving and never bothered to talk about his reasons for saying no. Of wanting to still be with you, despite the clear indication that you don't want to be with him anymore. Maybe it is now time to put the final nail in the coffin.

“Nanami……. I don't even remember when and why I loved you. Please, let me go.” You thought you wouldn't get choked up once you admitted the truth. But you did. You used to know the answer. You have talked about it with your family and friends, a couple of times, a million times. Yet, you don't remember. When was it? You don't know.

You watched as Nanami visibly flinched and you closed your eyes not wanting to deal with it anymore. There is no reason to torture yourself again, trying to find the very reason why you loved him.

“Please….leave.” Was your final plea, almost begging for him to go, for him to let you go. There was a pregnant pause, a sad atmosphere, before you heard his seat scraping the floor, almost ear shattering on how loud it was, he stood up and moved towards your way, where the door was located. He stopped in front of you, and you were not sure where you got the heart to look up but you did. You bit your lip when you realized up close that the rim of his eyes were red, his nose were the same.

“It was when you danced with the locals under the cherry blossom trees. You were so beautiful and carefree. I know at that point, I was ready to leave behind the life I thought was better suited for me. I decided…..I’d like to share my remaining days with you and beyond. I’m sorry….. I made you feel and experienced the most heart shattering pain ever known. You did not deserve……feeling as though your love for me never existed.” He stopped, bit his quivering lip and swallowed. “I love you. I will always do. But I know I don't deserve you at this time. However, I promised, that if fate decided we are still for each other, and a second chance was still given to me, even after what I did, I would do anything for you to live by my love. Please know that my heart will always choose yours. It was yours the moment you danced and smiled back at me. I love you…..”

When he called out your name in a softest whisper, right after he admitted his love for you, you almost stopped him from leaving. However, you know better. If your love is truly for each other, it will come back and you both will know it was time.

You watched his back and silhouette disappear. You prayed that you both will find peace

#nanami kento x reader #jjk nanami #jujutsu nanami #nanami kento #kento nanami #nanami x reader #nanami kento x you #nanami kento x y/n #jujutsu kaisen #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujustu kaisen x you #fic: I Know You Don't #eydi andrius

[bangtansabs]

F U C K I T S E R I E S

Heyy pookies<; Sooo.. I've finally decided to make a one-shot series. I will be uploading new stories here quite often, so look forward to it because there will be A LOT of them!

Disclaimer: this story contains strong language, sexual assault and violence.

Wc: 1.2k

FUCK IT Series 1# ☆

Insane. He's going insane.

Jungkook has been trying to call you for the past half an hour, and you still won't pick up the phone.

You and him had this crazy argument earlier, an argument that really pushed your buttons. He pissed you off so fucking much that you couldn't handle it anymore, so you took matters into your hands and decided to hit the club, all on your own.

He feels guilty for the frustration he has caused you. The heated argument that transpired earlier was completely out of character for both of you, and now his mind is inundated with a whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. He feels like a total idiot.

It's currently two in the morning, and Jungkook is pacing around the house, clutching his phone in one hand while the other tightly grips his hair.

He has been sending you numerous messages, pleading for your forgiveness and hoping that you would answer the phone. He's concerned about you, so much that he's starting to lose his mind.

"Y/N, baby, I'm so sorry. I was acting like a fucking idiot, I—" he pauses, sucking on his bottom lip. "Please, just come home."

He peruses through the multitude different messages he had sent you, only to find no indication of your response.

"Fuck!" He shouts, unable to take it any longer. He swiftly tucks his phone back into his pocket and retrieves his keys, slips on his shoes and departs from his apartment.

You never mentioned the club you were going to, and your location is turned off. But there's one particular club that you usually enjoy the most. He's unsure, but there's no time to ponder over it. He would check every single club in the city if he has to.

He initiates the engine before departing from the parking lot, his current speed is so fast that it likely violates legal limits but he couldn't care less.

The party is in high swing once Jungkook arrives. Music is blasting and dancing is happening everywhere, the smell of alcohol and weed is in the air.

Jungkook carefully surveys the surroundings before he starts pushing through the bustling crowd of people, searching for you.

He scans every single face within the premises of the club, yet he still can't locate your presence. His heart beats with intensity, and horrible thoughts begin to invade his mind.

Please be okay. Please be okay.

˚₊‧ ꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚

"Get off of me!" You shout, desperately in hopes that someone will hear you. Exerting force to push the man in front of you away, he persists in maintaining his grip on you.

You found yourself in this situation simply because you had taken a moment to use the restroom. The man standing before you is someone with whom you had a brief interaction earlier, when he offered you a drink and you graciously accepted like a dumbass.

After consuming the drink he provided you, a few minutes passed before you began feeling dizzy and weak. Now that you piece everything together, you understand that this was all a part of his plan. His intention was to induce dizziness and incapacitate you, giving him control over the situation.

He firmly presses you against the wall and applies greater force to your neck, hard enough to leave a bruise. You to momentarily freeze as he begins to peck your lips with his thumb. You look at him with widened eyes, shaking as his hand constricts tightly around your neck, causing difficulty in your ability to breathe.

"Show me what this pretty little mouth of yours can do, beautiful," He whispers, and you can sense the scent of alcohol on his breath as it brushes against your face.

You cast him a look of disgust, attempting to maintain composure, but you can't. Fear overwhelms you, causing uncontrollable trembling.

You desperately claw on his hand, causing him to loosen his grip and grant you the ability to breathe a little. Despite your efforts to push him away with your legs, he remains steadfast and barely even moves.

"Stand still, it'll all be over soon—"

"No!" You cut him off, tears beginning to form in your eyes as you try your best to release yourself from his grip, but you just can't. He's too strong, and the alcohol in your system isn't making it any easier for you.

"I told you to stand still, you little cunt!" He roars, seizing your wrists and forcefully pressing you against the wall while his other hand starts to glide down your body, until he slowly begins to lift your dress up.

"Please.." You cry out, desperately pleading for mercy. You give up, feeling completely drained of all your strength.

Suddenly, his actions come to an abrupt pause as someone firmly seizes him by the back of his shirt and delivers a forceful punch to his face, causing him to collapse onto the floor.

"Son of a bitch!" You hear a voice that you recognize, but you're too stunned to glance up and take in the scene unfolding before you. You steady yourself, leaning against the wall, with the sensation that you're moments away from passing out.

You muster the strength to raise your gaze, only to witness Jungkook relentlessly punching the man's face while he remains sprawled on the floor, likely unconscious.

You struggle to utter a plea for him to stop, but your words emerge as a fractured whisper. Regardless, Jungkook stops and directs his complete focus towards you.

He rises from the ground, leaving the man behind and immediately approaches you. With a gentle grip on your shoulders, he carefully scans your entire body, his face filled with worry.

"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" He quickly asks, lowering himself onto one knee and earnestly seeking out your gaze. With gentle care, he swiftly brushes aside strands of hair obscuring your face, only to discover a fresh bruise adorning your neck.

A wave of relief brushes over you upon seeing him, yet the shock lingers. Your head is spinning, impeding your vision, while beads of sweat form on your forehead and cheeks.

"I don't feel good.." You try to speak, but only a faint whisper escapes your lips.

He looks at you with deep concern in his eyes, while you struggle to maintain your balance. Just as you begin to lose your footing, he swiftly reaches out and catches you by the shoulders, preventing you from hitting the ground.

Jungkook gently lifts you into his arms, cradling you in a tender, bridal style embrace. You close your eyes, nuzzling your face against the comforting warmth of his chest.

"You're okay, you're okay." Jungkook tells you, his breath mingling with the air as he carries you out of the club in his arms.

You're finally safe.

#one shot #jeon jungkook #jungkook x reader #bts fanfic #jungkook fanfic #jungkook oneshot #short story #romance #jjk #protective #sexualassault #argument #fuck it #one shot series

[howdoesagrapewrites]

𝘼𝙣𝙜𝙚𝙡𝙨 𝙞𝙣 𝙢𝙮 𝙨𝙡𝙚𝙚𝙥

Cw: sleep deprivation, hallucinations, suicide, self harm, poly!reader x lovesick!Pavitr Prabhakar x lovesick!Gayatri Singh, force feeding but not in a fetish way, vomit (only mentioned), drugging, selective/situational mutism, the hallucinations catholicism related (sorry I'm hispanic), kinda comfort at the end?

Notes: Tumblr wouldn't let me upload this?? I tried several times so I decided to just post it alone. Anyways, this happens after a variation of the events in Even as the void consumes them but the reader didn't succumb to stockholm syndrome

"Open. Up" Gayatri's voice was nothing but an echo, a disturbance in the sound waves. You can feel she has her hand on your jaw, trying to force it open. You had vomited everything that had entered your system the las three days, it's not even intentional at this point, it's like your body rejects whatever its presented. It makes sense, in a way. Your body is rejecting them, just like you do.

You stubbornly clench your jaw in a silent protest. Not that there's other way to oppose her, the second your lips are slightly spread, she'll force the food down your throat.

You recognize their patience. They have been trying to feed you for, an hour? You are tempted to leave it uncertain, as time is not something your tired brain can afford to care about.

Every escape plan has failed so far, the one time you could leave the building, you were returned by the police. And after your second attempt, you moved, they got a house instead of an apartment, you could see through windows, it was a completely unknown place, you assumed it was Mumbattan since Pavitr had "work" here, but aside from that, is hopeless.

Gayatri's hand lets go of your jaw, she's getting increasingly frustrated at your resistance. You see her holding back tears. You could go on a whole ramble about how she must feel seeing you starve, and sleep deprive yourself, a person she loves dearly, in theory. However, you don't allow yourself to be moved by their sob stories anymore, you're too tired, you're too damaged.

"Have it your way. This little stunt won't be successful, you won't die." She says as she gets up from the chair and exits the living room, have you been rested and functioning properly, you would've listened to her whispering something more. "I can't let you die"

As of late, you only sleep when you're passed out, only get nourished when they leave you no choice. You really wished there was a less painful way to go, but they made sure you couldn't hurt yourself, no knives, no razors, no pills (not even ibuprofen), they baby-proofed the entire house so you wouldn't hurt yourself with the corners of the furniture, Pavitr wanted to remove the door from your room so he could watch you 24/7, but Gayatri talked him out of it. You don't know if it's genuine respect for the little privacy you had left, or just because being exposed also meant that they were exposed as well, and you've seen how she storms out because she doesn't have the strength to keep her tears from falling, you hear their endless rantings at night, it always ends the same way: they wail about the lost time, about the things you said or did, or about the teeny tiny impression that they might have screwed up, it's all the same, they'll end up curled up in each other's embrace, conjuring excuses and hope-filled speeches about "things going back to how they were".

You see the plate laying beneath you. Full of maggots, you gag and feel the now familiar burn in your dry throat. You fight the urge to slam the plate away, this happened before, everytime they leave, food turns to maggots, they can't see it, but you know what they're really feeding you. It's better, you definitely have no appetite now.

You head to your room, now filled with the floral wallpaper you hate. When you saw it for the first time, you made your nails bleed from scratching the walls, you hated it, you yelled at them, berated them in every way you knew how. It was the only thing you'd ask for in this hellhole. If you can't have freedom, please let the yellow flowers stay with you. Eventually they got some, but not enough to cover the whole room, no longer 5,128 flowers. You said you wouldn't speak a word to them until they got you the rest, but you know that's not the real reason why you don't talk anymore.

"Don't talk, go make bread" an old man whispers

"Your eyes taste like how the color purple tastes like"

You hear a knock on the door, followed by more voices.

"You're ungrateful."

"Break the door"

"Don't answer the door"

"I really want to sleep"

"Pigeons are nice because they know things"

Voices always calm down when Michael shows up. The glow hurts your eyes, the divine light hurts the sinner.

"Father shall not leave thee, you face the calvary for those who are innocent"

Those who are innocent.

Pavitr is not innocent, you recall it now.

He gave you a spoonful of something, then he pecked your closed lips. You don't know you weren't moving, it feels like you were watching a movie about yourself.

Pavitr is not innocent, so you aren't doing this for him.

What are you doing?

Y/N collapsed on the floor, the loud thump alerted the other two people.

"They'll be better now, you can rest" Pavitr reassured to the woman next to him

"They keep trying to hurt themselves, they won't let us nurse them back to health" there was an audible tear in Gayatri Singh's voice, cracking, a little hoarse, tired.

"We can't blame them for being ill. Remember, love, in sickness and in health" Pavitr picked the body, it was malnourished, skin thin like a sheet of paper, multiple little injuries that never healed properly. He put them in the bed, freshly made, no one has slept there in a while.

"In sickness and in health" Gayatri repeated, with hope, as she tucked her lover into the bed, she made sure it was comfortable, even for someone who won't know the difference.

They kiss their slumbering lover's hands, then sit down, in well needed silence.

"We need to call the physician to see if they can put them in IV therapy or something" Gayatri said, her worries still exacerbating

"One day at a time, jaanu, one day at a time."

#atsv x reader #atsv pavitr #pavitr x reader #pavitr prabhakar #pavitr prabhakar x reader #pavitr x gayatri #gayatri singh #gayatri x reader #spiderverse pavitr #yandere pavitr #yandere spiderverse #yandere spiderman #yandere gayatri singh #gayatri x pavitr #gayatri singh x reader

[zoe-oneesama]

Love that once I’ve finally dropped the show they decide to upload often. Once you’ve caught you breath from the spam, do you think you’d do a review of the new episodes? I’ve seen glimpses of cursed cabbage patch kids and I’m too scared to try and watch this season, but I always enjoyed your analysis of episodes. (No pressure though)

I don't really like to do immediate reviews, especially in this season, because there is a through line in these episodes so some things won't become clear until future episodes. But I can give a super quick review with my minor pros and cons:

Evolution:

Synopsis: Monarch uses the rabbit's power to attempt to defeat the heroes in the past. By unifying with Bunnix's Miraculous, they thwart him every time despite him using multiple Miraculouses, and, with the help of the present Alix and past Dog miraculous, the Rabbit Miraculous is reclaimed with Alix finally taking the Rabbit permanently, starting her journey through time until Monarch is defeated and it's safe for her to return.

Good: Monarch is using his brain (or like 75% of it) by immediately using the time travel Miraculous and it took a lot of teamwork to stop him. I'm glad Nathalie reached her breaking point in the face of Gabriel obsessing more over defeating teenagers than focusing on what his actual goal should be. I like Bunny Noir's design (mostly. His mask gives him eye bags from up close). This episode went the way I was hoping the season would go, with the heroes one by one reclaiming the lost Miraculouses.

Bad: Alix is not my favorite and I don't really care for episodes about her. It is frustrating that when Monarch passes out from overusing the Miraculouses that the heroes don't start looting his corpse when they had the chance, or any of the other times he's tied up.

Multiplication:

Synopsis: Everyone adjusts to the new normal of Monarch having stolen all the Miraculouses and are awaiting his next move, while reclaiming their lives. Adrien tells his father he wants to quit modeling and Gabriel accepts. Since Marinette gave him the advice to speak to his dad, Adrien starts looking at her in a new light. After many weeks, an akuma finally attacks- Ikari Dozen with the abilities of the Mouse Miraculous, yet when she's defeated, she has no Miraculous. On that confusing note, Gabriel and Tomoe announce their newest product: Alliance, a ring with all the functions of a phone on one finger.

Good: I don't have much in this category since the episode is half montage. It's mostly just "not bad". I guess I'm glad that word has spread to at least Alya that Adrien doesn't want to model anymore?

Bad: Uh, it's Alya though. Marinette has explained explicitly why a relationship with Adrien is a no go but Alya just WILL NOT support her on this and I do NOT approve. And it's one thing to just be like "uh I don't believe you but whatever" and another thing to actively work against Marinette, aka holding her down so Adrien can kiss her when she doesn't want him to??? And also WHY DOES EVERYONE KNOW ALIX IS BUNNIX NOW?!

Destruction:

Synopsis: With all the kwamis at his command, Gabriel demands Ladybug's address as a loophole around the secret keeping magic and is led to Marinette, who is the first step on a scavenger hunt for the answer. This leads Monarch to the Wax Museum where a trap is waiting - Chat Noir and Ladybug, who get the jump on him and tie him to Chat's Cataclysm activated hand. They could never predict, however, that when Ladybug went for the Butterfly Miraculous that Monarch would sacrifice his own body and take the brunt of the Cataclysm just to escape. Despite suffering a growing injury, Gabriel, with Tomoe's help, destroys the Miraculouses and rebuilds them as rings which, combine with his Alliance product, give his akumas Miraculous abilities.

Good: Ladybug's plan is so thorough and to think she set this as far back as between Seasons 2-3 (they're still calling him "Hawkmoth" in flashbacks but allude to Ladybug being Guardian) is quite the contingency plan. It's funny that Chat Noir was willing to walk around with a piece of paper with an insult punchline on it on the OFF CHANCE Monarch would try this shit. It was also funny that I thought the loophole was going to be that the kwami's don't know "Ladybug's" address because she doesn't have one, only Marinette does...but the loophole was that kwami's don't know what an address even is?! Lololol. And Xuppu being innocently annoying made him MVP.

Bad: Chat Noir being so broken up by hitting the MAIN VILLAIN with Cataclysm seems so out of left field after Scarabella, Uncanny Valley, and almost Sole Crusher (and even dumber after "Jubilation"). This is the ONE GUY you don't have to feel bad about but he acts horrified, yet one episode later he almost does it to someone on purpose. This episode also has a long montage section and after "Multiplication" I was like "please don't do more of this". And them taking the first 3 minutes to try to explain the Rooster just made it more confusing to me (though it did add something things that made sense).

Jubilation:

Synopsis: Marinette discovers that not only is Damocles still cosplaying The Owl, but an old school friend is cosplaying Ladybug and they're both getting into trouble. She goes to this friend Socqueline's family store and tries to get her to confess to this "crime" while also getting her own run down of the ins and outs of the Alliance ring. After a fumble where Marinette takes Socqueline's ring with her on a Ladybug mission and having thoroughly scolded both Socqueline and Damocles, Monarch becomes sure Socqueline IS Ladybug and sicks Darker Owl on her. When she's discovered to not be Ladybug, Socqueline is used to bait Ladybug and Chat Noir into being hit by Darker Owl's "Gift" power and traps them in a dream of defeating Monarch, becoming a couple, and having a happy life - until they have to wake up. Defeating Damocles doesn't reveal any Miraculouses and the two are left confused.

Good: I like Socqueline. She pokes a few holes in what we knew about Marinette's backstory but she's pretty well rounded in just one episode. If the dream sequence was meant to make me laugh then I appreciate it for that and I like that they gave Marinette a believable reason to avoid using the Alliance other than "it has my crush/my enemy on it as AI and it's weird". I also approve of this episode confirming all the conspiracy dystopian ideas I had about this creepy ass ring.

Bad: I'm just being nitpicky but the dream seems incomplete and half hearted since there's no identity reveal - in THIS EPISODE Marinette scolds two people for not appreciating the one thing she wished she had: normalcy. Yet her entire dream sequence she's stuck as her hero self? Unless the Gift is influenced by Darker Owl's lack of knowledge about their identity, that just feels like some dissonance. Also, not Sabine using the AI model of the girl that got her daughter expelled. Also, not Gabriel using an AI model of his wife, hope Alliance never goes off IN PUBLIC and reveals THAT feature!

Illusion:

Synopsis: In an attempt to help Ladybug and Chat Noir, Nino starts a resistance and comes up with a plan to record an akumatization to solve the mystery of how Monarch is giving people the powers of the Miraculous. How? By causing an akuma themselves, with Gabriel as the target. Unfortunately Lila has discovered their plans and warned Gabriel, who uses this to his advantage by pretending to be akumatized and giving the heroes false leads. The “resistance” is expanded to the rest of the class - including Lila.

Good: Um, I didn’t really like this episode. The VILLAIN got to be the manipulative, clever one, which doesn’t make me feel good in the end, and Lila IS STILL BE ACCEPTED BY ALYA?! Make it make sense dammit!

Bad: This episode. I don’t like it. Gabriel AND Monarch’s manipulation worked and in the end Alya is apologizing to Nino for “doubting” him despite being the only person thinking through the cruelty of purposefully akumatizing someone? Why does every Nino-centric episode make him a jerk? Why did the two “heroes” go along with this? AND WHY IS ALYA STILL VOUCHING FOR LILA??!?!

Determination:

Synopsis: Adrien is letting his growing feelings for Marinette show and Kagami pushes him into a date with her. Marinette peer pressures herself into reciprocating, but brings Luka, who teams up with Kagami to give the two a push by locking them in the Wax Museum together. Meanwhile, the Mayor is threatening Veronique to shut down her new All Heroes display and is akumatized into Manipula, who controls the wax displays to attack. The heroes defeat Manipula, even with her borrowing from the Ox Miraculous, and return to the musuem. Both have a realization: Adrien is in love with Marinette and Marinette is in love with Chat Noir.

Good: Though I hated the idea of Kagami and Luka joining Team Adrienette by making weird plans to force them together, the way they went about it was pretty mild and seemed to line up more with the two's personalities, down to Kagami sticking around just because she was 100% sure Adrien would mess it up without her and Luka seeing right through Marinette's excuses. I liked Manipula's design (even if she's just an upgraded Puppeteer powerwish) and thought it was interesting that her akuma was split up so ALL the "heroes" needed to be defeated. I thought the episode would be way worse.

Bad: WHY THE WAX MUSEUM?! WHY WOULD THAT BE THE MOMENT HIS FEELINGS CHANGED?! Adrien's love language is clearly words of affirmation, wouldn't it make WAY more sense that Marinette's practice love confession to "Buttercup" would be what changes his mind, especially since Puppeteer 2 was in SEASON 3 which ended with him DATING SOMEONE ELSE?!?!

I also don't know if I should put this in Good or Bad, but damn the mood difference between Adrien bathed in the yellow warmth of the Wax Museum as he happily realizes he's in love vs. Marinette in the dark clouds and rain as she's devastated to realize she's in love. Cinematic marvel, 10/10, what a disaster.

Passion:

Synopsis: Nathalie reacts violently at Gabriel's pretend Good Dad act and Gabriel presents her with his growing 'clysm injury, which has him on a time clock, making her realize he won't stop going after the Miraculouses because his other option is to die and leave Adrien completely alone. Armed with this and videos of Emilie telling Nathalie to stop Gabriel's pursuit of the Miraculous, Nathalie plays double agent, intent to get the Miraculouses before Gabriel, and pretends to be back on his side, accepting an akuma: Safari. Adrien is all set to confess to Marinette but is side tracked by Nathalie's growing illness, which Marinette reassures him through - up until the akuma attacks. Safari's abilities lead tracking crossbow bolts to stun the heroes, but when Adrien detransforms and realizes the bolts lost track of "Chat Noir", he gets the idea to swap Miraculouses. Being Mister Bug and knowing the akuma is Nathalie, whom he blames himself for akumatizing, Adrien maintains a serious attitude, whereas Lady Noire realizes she's around her love, takes on more flirty tactics (to her own confusion and dread). Safari is defeated and Adrien makes a point to be there for her emotionally, bonding the two.

Good: Nathalie is living her best "let's save our wife" moments and I'm so glad to be back on this Doing It For Emilie track instead of For Gabriel. The Akuma x Goat Miraculous match up was really clever and the work around was equally clever. It's nice to see Adrien step up, which is also probably why he was given the "serious" Miraculous, though I'd argue he didn't need to be Mister Bug to show off an ability to take the lead.

Bad: This episode paired with the next starts this annoying trend of "Oh so it's fine when HE does it but when MARINETTE does it it's bad!" Starting with Alya accusing Marinette of running away from her feelings by going after Chat Noir - but no one is double checking Adrien for switching to Marinette? For him, he's just "taking the hint" but for Marinette it's just running away from her feelings? If that were the case, why the big dramatic "Oh god no Tikki I'm in LOVE" at the end of the last episode??

Also I'm disappointed their shooting holes in my "Emilie is just as bad" theory, how dare.

Reunion:

Synopsis: Marinette and Alya go to the Museum to (on purpose this time) look for Miraculous clues. Tikki introduces a way to use the Kwagatama to commune with past Miraculous holders and Marinette accidentally uncovers a letter from Alix, which gets Alix's father to summon (most) of the class. Jalil interrupts the Reading of the Will Letter to accuse Ladybug of tricking his sister into leaving, haven fallen for online reddit conspiracies of Ladybug being the true villain and being willingly akumatized into The Pharaoh with the power of the Turtle. Marinette communes with Jeanne of Arc for love advice, to her annoyance, but sticks around for the akuma. Ladybug relies on Bunnix through written correspondence to get near the akuma and has him use his Book of Truth to tell him if Ladybug is really the villain, which it confirms she's the hero. Pissed that Monarch "lied to him", Jalil banishes his own akuma. Impressed by how Ladybug and Chat Noir handled things, Jeanne tells her love story with her Cat Holder, which ended with them having to denounce their Miraculouses to even have a chance to be together, though it's unknown if they did.

Good: I liked the use of the conspiracy boards turning against Ladybug and Chat Noir because honestly it would probably happen and, if not Lila, Jalil is a good character to channel that through. It's nice they're bringing the kwagatama back and yay for Adrien getting his (but omigod the comedic timing of him gazing adoringly at Marinette's photo and then Plagg straight up BARFING on him lmao).

Bad: What did I say about "Oh so when HE does it-". Here Alya gets on Marinette's case by insisting the reason that the Miraculous holder's they've been finding in the museum are all SOLO is because they're focused on their JOB instead of ROMANCE. Um, hello? What show are YOU watching? We've had FOUR SEASONS OF CHAT NOIR DOING EXACTLY THAT, but NOW you wanna talk about it?! No no no, if Chat Noir didn't get flak for it in universe, neither does Marinette. Pair that with Tikki essentially making fun of Plagg for being worried because when HER holder is in love NOTHING get's accomplished, and it's like this show is getting a kick out of mocking the VERY THINGS that have kept this show going. Guess what, Tikki, if Marinette HAD been straight forward and confessed, she'd have been turned down in Season 1, so maybe don't harp on the very thing that's made you exist for FIVE SEASONS.

This is what I meant in an earlier post about the episodes being mostly okay but then there's just ONE FUCKING THING-

Even in "Reunion", Tikki suggests talking to Jeanne but then takes it back and the episode makes it out like Marinette's the immature one for following Tikki's advice by having Jeanne annoyed with her. Oh, I'm sorry JOAN, are you BUSY? Did we INTERRUPT something?? Pretty sure you were doing a whole lot of NOTHING, so what does it MATTER what kind of question Marinette has?

I’m still waiting on the “Exaltation” english subs, so news on that one.

So that's the season so far~ Most of it came out in just a week so it was hard for me to keep episodes separate.

#my opinion #ml salt #season 5 episode 1-8 #season 5 salt #an essay by zoe

[wildpeachfarm]

See the thing is with streaming its going to die regardless, yes companies handing out less contracts is killing it further but its already dying at a fast rate? I'm not a stream hater either btw I really enjoy them but like. For example. 2020, 2021? When school was remote and I only ever worked mornings because of covid hours? I was clocked into that Philza 8hr stream DAILY. I was scheduling my classes around those streams so I could do homework while listening/watching. Went as far as to use my monthly speaking privilge to ask Phil what date British Daylight Savings began so I could keep my schedule clear. The second everything was no longer remote, and store hours went back to normal, I maybe caught 2, 3, maybe 4 streams in that year before I decided enough was enough about QSMP and I LOVE hardcore content.

From a company standpoint I can see why YT may not be interested in handing out streamer contracts anymore. Like Dreamie and a few others they're recognizing the Covid Number Boom is over- but unlike Dreamie, because theyre a corporation, they can't just "stick it out" and "recelebrate milestones". They have a "bottom line" to protect and they're not getting that same sweet sweet ad revenue from streams because of decreased viewer counts. Esp bc people don't just go back and watch vods unless there's a REAAAALLY good reason to. So no ad viewership there either. They're going to go back to relying on videos (and unfortunately probably shorts as well, I hate the tiktok-ification of every socmed site) to keep their ad revenue up, especially with the battle of ad blockers. I see more ad and monitization deals being handed out.

With streams (bc vod watching is lowkey practically nonexistant) not being in high demand bc of time constraints (happening while busy, timezones issues) the demands for videos will be higher as videos are ALWAYS readily available. Someone uploads at midnight your timezone? I mean it'll be there when you wake up, you won't have "missed" anything like you would have a livestream. Get a video schedule set out and you're GOLDEN- the first thing I do when I get home from work is check if a handful of youtubers have uploaded to put on to watch. If not, I rewatch some of my fav vids.

Also psychologically I actually think this is for the better of all CCs as a whole. Streaming, esp for some of the hourly requirements some of these ppl either HAVE to hit to get paid or WILLINGLY put themselves through (Tubbo) you have to wear your persona the ENTIRE time. You have to make sure you don't slip up that ENTIRE time. You have to be entertaining the ENTIRE time. You have to filter yourself because it's all live. To me this just sounds like what I do on a daily basis masking my audHD and that shit is so tiring and it's why I could NEVER be a streamer. If you're recording videos you can control what goes out. You don't have to wear whatever persona you decide to put on for 8hrs for a stream, you can record 3 hours of footage and then be done for the day, and that can either be one video or multiple depending on a lot of factors. Accidentally say your mom's name? Cut the clip. Bit isn't funny? Cut the clip. They will still have to actively filter themselves yes but for a much less amount of time. In the end CCs will have a lot more mind power that they're not using up to take care of themselves. I genuinely think it's psychologically better for them all.

It's unfortunate that the streaming industry is going to collapse this way. But also seeing how the communities heavily affected by streaming are more drama filled than communities w/o streaming, I'm lowkey hoping it's for the best. Pulling the plug like this imo is a mercy kill.

And now I'm gonna wash my mouth out for all that corporate speak I just used. Sorry for the manifesto. And if someone wants to put this manifesto on reddit idc just crop/block any usernames IG

I appreciate the essay-andy-ing these are interesting thoughts! I don't think the streaming scene will collapse entirely but I do think that it will become more advantageous to be a youtuber because people have found that to be the most consistent for many years as a CC rather than streams which require a lot of additional things (like you mentioned)

And I feel like we are seeing quite a few people say they're going to prioritize youtube more in the future which seems to be the beginning of that transition

I am curious if twitch will ever try to keep certain big-viewer streamers on the platform with 'kick-style' ($$$$) contracts.

#ask

[ellisgirl]

Harrison Gray — I Want to Know Every Inch of You Collection Event

Harrison and Body Measurement

I do not own any contents of Ikemen Villains. This story being uploaded in this blog belongs solely to CYBIRD. Please support them by downloading their games and buying their stories. Both English and Japanese are not my mother tongue languages, please keep in mind that there will be mistakes and added words for my own preferences. I translate for my personal entertainment and for my own practice only.

My first time translating harry’s 😭😭😭

Harrison: "Crown's body measurement......”

Kate: "Yes. It seems that it also serves as a medical checkup."

When Victor asked me to take everyone's body measurements, I called Harry first.

In addition to basic information such as height and weight, the record sheet handed out also contains questions tailored to each individual.

Harrison: “Is that sort of thing within the purview of a Fairytale Master's work?”

Kate: “Of course. Because your growth is an important part of our record.”

Harrison: "...No, I won't grow anymore."

Kate: “You never know what the future holds, you know? Above all, I want you all to stay healthy."

Harrison: “Hmm…..”

(...Harry doesn't seem too keen on it.)

(Come to think of it, you also avoided going along with Roger's research.)

(...You don’t like being probed?)

Kate: “I'll make it quick, just bear with me for a minute. Okay?”

As if trying to convince a child who doesn't like injections, Harry took off his jacket.

Harrison: “Just so you know, it's not that I don't like being probed.”

I blinked at Harry's addition, as if he had read my mind.

Harrison: “I just thought you seemed to take on everything."

Kate: "Did you worry about me?"

Harrison: "I don't know....... So, how are you going to find out?"

(It's usual that there is no answer…, but it was easy to understand now.)

My mouth relaxed at Harry's apparent concern for me.

Kate: “Starting with height, weight....., and chest and abdominal circumference."

Harrison: "Understood."

Using a measuring tape, Harry's body is measured as he stands in front of me.

(If you want to measure properly, you need to be in close contact with him...)

If I put the measuring tape on Harry's back, he'll be in a position where I am hugging him from the front.

Even though I know that his body is masculine and robust.

I was strangely conscious, so I applied the tape measure while moving my body away from him a little.

Harrison: “Wouldn't we have to stick together more to get an accurate measurement?”

Kate: "T-That's right..."

He closes the distance when pointed out, but I’m too nervous to look at Harry's body properly.

Harrison: “Don't be shy, why don't you do what you always do?”

Kate: “Always?”

I turn my head and Harry teasingly whispers in my ear.

Harrison: “You clung desperately to me naked when we were shagging and wouldn't leave me. Why are you so shy now?”

Kate: “E-Even if you give me examples of things like that...”

Harrison: “If you want me to recreate the scene, I'll do it.”

Harry pulls my hips closer, slides his knee between my legs, and pushes me up.

Kate: “Nn, it’s no good.”

Harrison: "What's wrong?"

Kate: "...If that happens, we won't be able to measure anything."

Even though I say that, the force with which I push back against Harry's chest is modest.

(......I know exactly what I need to do, I need to get on with measuring.)

(But if Harry comes on to me, I can't resist strongly enough ......)

Harrison: "Haha...your face is bright red. Now that I’ve seen your cute face, I'll be obedient and cooperate with the measurements then.”

Laughing teasingly, Harry took his hand away from mine.

I felt relieved and at the same time realised that my nervousness had eased.

(Maybe Harry was deliberately pressing me to get me used to it.)

I was also pleased to find Harry's teasing mixture of kindness.

In this way, the measurements managed to proceed—

Kate: “Okay, ….now the last item has been filled in. Thank you for your cooperation.”

Harrison: “.....By the way, are you going to do measurements on everyone from now on?”

Kate: "That's right. It seems that everyone is here today, so I'm going to do it all at once."

Harrison: “Hmmm...... Can I do that?”

…

Kate: "Thank you for your help. It was very helpful!"

Harry helped everyone in the Crown with their physical measurements because he had time.

He took the measurements with a tape measure, I recorded them. We divided the roles and the measurements were completed in no time.

(Hehe... Harry is mean, but kind and reliable.)

As I'm falling back in love with him, Harry looks at me with probing eyes.

Harrison: “So, whose body was the best?”

Kate: “Eh..... What do you mean?”

Harrison: “You've examined all of their bodies, haven't you? I'm asking you whose body you found most attractive.”

Harrison: “I'm sure you have your favorite body shape and favorite parts, don’t you?”

Kate: “Even if you say so...”

(I only thought it was good that everyone seemed to be healthy without any major injuries.…)

(......There was only one person I couldn't consciously measure well.)

Kate: “……Harry.”

Harrison: “Hm?”

Kate: “The only thing that made me nervous was your body.”

Harrison: “……..” 0_0

Kate: "Do you believe it's true?"

The heart is invisible, so even if you really mean what you say, sometimes you may not be believed.

But his ability to see through the lies is also his ability to believe. I can tell him how I feel without deception.

Harrison: *blushing* "......I understand. Your words are not a lie."

Harrison: “I never imagined before I met you that there would ever come a time when I would use this ability for love.”

I'm the one who said the embarrassing line, but I feel that Harry, who exposed my heart, is more embarrassed.

Kate: “Hehe. I see you've found a fun use for it.”

Harrison: “......Come to think of it, I've got a record sheet for you too.”

Maybe he was embarrassed, Harry suddenly changed the topic.

Kate: “Yes. I'm also going to measure it later and fill it in.”

Harrison: “Heh...... Who do you let touch your body and measure every inch of it?”

At first, I thought I should ask someone who was available for my body measurement.

(However, after taking everyone's measurements, I realised that even if it's just a physical measurement, touching me is—)

Kate: “—Harry is good.”

After answering, I realised the mistake of my statement.

Kate: “....If it's not Harry, I don't want it.”

After rephrasing it, Harry smiles with a satisfied smile.

Harrison: “Fine. If it has to be me, I'll do as you ask.”

Harrison: “......But before that, I'll get paid for the labour.”

—After a kiss that is too sweet to be called compensation.

Every inch of my body had been thoroughly examined by Harry's hands.

Fin.

Masterlist

#ikemen villains #ikevil #ikemen series #ikemen games #harrison gray #ikevil harrison #ikemen villains collection event #ikevil translations

[loslentesdepedrito]

I'm Your Wife- Chapter Four

Top right gif by: @pedrohub, bottom left gif by: @pedroispunk

Pairing: Jack Daniels ‘Agent Whiskey’x Spanish-speaking f!reader and Javier Peña x Spanish-speaking f!reader (Spanish translations are provided.)

Previous Chapter: I'm Your Wife- Chapter Three

Next Chapter: I'm Your Wife- Chapter Five

Word count: 5.0k+

A/N: This time of year is always hard on me, and I don't know why I didn't factor that into my uploading schedule. I decided to cut the chapters short to prolong the series, so there are still a few chapters left. Thank you to everyone for their patience, and I hope you enjoy this part!

Chapter summary: Javi confronts Jack, and in the aftermath, Jack bonds with Ángel. (Picks up directly from ch. 3)

Rating: 18+ no explicit content but this is an 18+ page. Warning contains spoilers, but please read if you'd like!!! They are below the cut, but if you don't want to read them, the story starts after the Whiskey bottles.

Warnings: Angst (less than the last few chapters), language used by the characters is harsh and contains strong emotions, pregnancy, divorce, and childhood disease.

“Oh, I didn’t know you remarried. Again. Because surely you’re not talking about my girl.” Javi said with his jaw clenched. “She’s not your wife anymore, Jack. She’s my wife.”

"Well, I thought 'the mother of my son who I was married to and is the love of my life' was too long to say. Because I was married to her, bud," Jack countered. His voice, while tinted with pride, carried an undercurrent of sadness. It was as though he was grasping for a sliver of the life he had lost.

But Javi wasn't about to let Jack's words undermine his place in your life and Ángel's. He interjected forcefully, his frustration evident in every word. "Mira, Cabron," (Look, asshole,) he told Jack, "Keyword, was. You were married to her. Not anymore. She's my wife. She's the love of my life, and I am the love of her life. She's the mother of my children. I was there for the OB appointments. I was there for Ángel's birth. I was there for everything. Ángel is also my son, and I get that you want to be there for him now.” Javier uses his hands to point at himself every time he emphasizes a word. “But remember that you wanted nothing to do with him. You told her you wanted her to get rid of him! Forgive me if I don't fully believe you're as committed to being in Ángel's life as you say you are. I won't let you hurt her again, and I certainly won't let you hurt my son."

Jack's face contorted with a mix of frustration and desperation as he struggled to regain ground. "You might have been there for all that, but I've changed. I want to be here now, for Ángel and for her." 

Javier's gaze remained unwavering, his jaw clenched in determination. "Changed? Jack, do you even realize how much pain you caused her?" His voice dripped with reproach. "You left her alone when she needed you the most,” Javier puts one hand on his hip and uses the other to motion, “and now you waltz back in here, thinking you can just pick up where you left off. It doesn't work like that." 

Jack's fists clenched, his temper flaring. "I know I messed up. I can't change the past, but I can try to make it right now."

Javier takes a step closer and shoves a finger into Jack’s chest, his tone ice-cold. "Make it right? You can't erase the years you missed, the tears she shed, or the heartache you caused. And you sure as hell can't take my place now."

Javier's voice grew firmer, more assertive, as he continued, "You can't pretend like everything is all sunshine and rainbows. You need to start looking at me like Ángel's father and her husband."

“He’s my son!” Jack bursts. “I'm not letting you replace me in his life.” 

Javier didn't back down. Instead, he leaned even closer, their faces mere inches apart. "I'm not replacing you, Jack. I'm the one who's been here for him all along, loving him and caring for him when you were nowhere to be found. And I'll be damned if I let you come back into their lives and disrupt what we've built."

“A father doesn’t abandon their child before they’re even born. In all those years, you never looked for him,” Javi's voice carried deep disappointment, the kind that had festered over time.

Even though it was difficult, Javier tried to let go of his anger. “I get you want to be his dad now, but that’s going to take time. I’m not saying you’ll never be his dad, but I will always be his dad, Jack. I know we don’t have the same blood, but he’s my son. You need to learn and accept that. Maybe he’ll call us both dad one day, but stop interjecting yourself into her life. What you two had is over. You can’t be the family you want anymore.”

Deep down, Javier knew that Jack was also his son’s father, and he wasn't willing to waste more time arguing that point. However, he needed to clarify to Jack that he couldn't just play house with you. Javier told Jack he wasn’t Ángel's father primarily out of anger. He knew he shouldn’t let his emotions get the best of him, but seeing Jack pretend to be the one you were building a family with, as if he hadn't abandoned you, was infuriating beyond words. Both of you had agreed that if Jack wanted to be in Ángel's life, he could. It just hurt Javier deeply to share his son, especially when it could result in Ángel being hurt by Jack. But if Jack was honest about his intentions, this could result in Ángel being loved by more than two parents, and Javier wasn't willing to steal that from his son.

Jack took in Javier’s words and instead of understanding why he was so protective, his temper flared in the face of Javier's unyielding stance. He couldn't deny the truth in Javier's words, and that only stoked the burning frustration within him. "You've got it all figured out, don't ya?" Jack's voice was overtaken with resentment as he spoke. "You waltz in here, take my place like it's no big deal, and now you're the king of this castle?"

Javier's eyes bore into Jack's, an unspoken determination in his gaze. "I didn't waltz in, Jack. I walked in when you walked out. I filled a void you left behind. I didn't choose to be the king; I just chose to stand by her side when you chose not to."

Jack felt like a caged animal, his anger mixing with a bitter sense of regret. "I messed up, alright? But I'm back now. You think you can just replace me?"

Javier's voice remained steady, though his anger simmered again just beneath the surface. "I'm not trying to replace you, Jack. I'm trying to protect them from being hurt by you again. It's not just about you anymore; it's about them."

Jack's fists clenched as he fought to regain some semblance of control. "I love her, and I love Ángel. I want to make things right."

"Desgraciado," (shameless) Javier muttered under his breath, choosing to ignore Jack's blatant profession of love for his wife. "Love is more than just words, Jack. It's actions. It's being there when you're needed, not just when it's convenient for you. It's about accepting that you hurt them deeply and that they might need time to heal. Ángel doesn’t know about you, but what do you think he’ll think once he finds out the truth? No kid wants to hear that his dad didn’t want anything to do with them."

Jack struggled with his emotions, the weight of his past mistakes heavy on his shoulders. "I- I know I can't erase the past, but I'll do whatever it takes to build a future with them."

Javier took a step back, his face still stern but less confrontational. "Then prove it, Jack. Actions speak louder than words. Show them you've changed, not just with what you say, but with what you do."

Jack's shoulders slumped, and he looked down momentarily, grappling with his emotions. It was a difficult pill to swallow, facing the consequences of his past actions. "You're right, Javier. I can't change what I've done, and I can't expect things to go back to the way they were." He admitted, "I know I've hurt both of them deeply, especially her. I'll respect your place in their lives, but I want a chance to be there for Ángel too."

Javier nodded, his expression softening a fraction. "I'm not saying you can't be a part of Ángel's life, Jack. But it has to be on their terms, at their pace. And it has to be with the understanding that we're a family now."

Jack swallowed hard, finally starting to accept the reality of the situation. "I get it. I won't push. I just want a chance to prove that I can be a better father to Ángel." He didn't say anything about your family not including him; he wanted to, but he knew it would be futile.

Javier extended a hand towards Jack. "Then we have an understanding. It won't be easy, but if you're serious about making amends and being there for him, I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt."

Jack stared at your husband’s hand for a while before he shook Javier's hand firmly. 

The two men made their way back to room 43 in uneasy silence, their faces carefully composed as if they hadn’t almost ripped each other apart not even ten minutes ago. 

When they walk through the door, you immediately sense that something happened. You knew your husband too well and felt he had little interest in helping Jack, so you had been concerned when Javi insisted on helping Jack with the towels.

Javier gracefully moves to you, kisses the top of your head, and then sits next to you. His hand finds its place on your stomach, a subtle yet affectionate touch. Jack, however, lingers awkwardly, towels in hand, as he takes in the scene before him. Seeing Javier so close to you stirred a storm of emotions within him, and it took a moment for his jumbled thoughts to come together. When he finally came to, he stored the towels in the maple wardrobe, and he retook his seat beside Ángel. To an outsider, it might have seemed as though nothing unusual had occurred, but the atmosphere remained charged with unspoken words and unresolved feelings. You didn't get a chance to express your gratitude to Jack before he gently resumed his conversation with your son. 

They were chatting about Jack’s ranch and Ángel was practically creating an itinerary for the visit. 

"Mr. Jack, do you have horses on your ranch?" Ángel asked, his eyes shining with curiosity. His innocence was a welcomed breather from the tension in the room moments ago.

Jack, who had been caught slightly off guard by the sudden question, managed a warm smile. "Yes, we do, buddy. We've got some of the finest horses you'll ever see."

To prove his point and perhaps bond with his son over their shared love for horses, Jack reaches into his pants pocket. As his fingers curled around an object, your heartbeat raced. It was unmistakable – the small, black phone, a Motorola in all its glory. For a split second, a flood of emotions surged within you. Why did he still have it? Your mind wrestles with the significance of this unexpected memory he kept, but you quickly push the thoughts aside.

Ángel, his curiosity piqued by the sight of the odd phone, couldn't help but voice his surprise, his brows arching in unbelief. "Uh… Is that your phone?" He stares as he takes in the object he’s never seen before. The phone’s body was primarily matte black, with a reflective silver border and a letter ‘M’ in the middle.

Jack noticed Ángel's expression and furrowed his brows in concern, his lips beneath his mustache forming a subtle pout. "Something wrong?" He asked, worried that he might have inadvertently upset him.

Ángel, quick to reassure Jack, shook his head. "No," he replied, his head moving somewhat furiously, "It's just that I've never seen a phone like that before."

With a fond smile, Jack replied, his voice tinged with a hint of nostalgia. "This, buddy," he began, holding up the phone, "is a Motorola Razr V3. It's not like the fancy ones you see nowadays." He opened the phone with a satisfying snap, showing off the small screen and metallic keypad. As he continued, Jack's eyes seemed to shimmer with memories of a different time. "Back in the day, this phone was all the rage.” He chuckled softly, clearly enjoying the chance to share a piece of his past with Ángel. 

“Cool!” Ángel exclaimed. 

"Very.” Jack agreed. “It might not have all the apps modern phones do, but it sure serves me well. Look, I even have pictures of the horses here.” He tapped a button on his old phone, and his fingers were a bit too big but he had years of practice to not accidentally click other things.  He opens the camera roll. The phone, although dated, was still functional. He scrolled up until he found the best photos and moved the phone closer to Ángel. As he scrolled through the photos, he couldn't help but notice Ángel leaning in closer, his eyes glued to the small screen. Jack knew these images might appear grainy and outdated to a young boy, but the fact that Ángel showed genuine interest warmed his heart.

Jack carefully selected a handful of the best photos, ones that showcased the beauty and spirit of the horses. He moved the phone closer to Ángel, allowing the boy to take the pictures at his own pace.

In the first picture, Jack shared an image of a dusty gray pony, its gentle eyes looking out from a stable stall, bathed in warm sunlight that filtered through the wooden slats. "This one is Bubbles. He’s a Shetland pony." Jack explained with a fond smile.

"Wow, he looks so soft." Ángel remarked, his eyes glued to the picture.

Jack nodded. "Oh, he's the softest. Loves being petted and brushed."

In the next photo, a golden chestnut horse galloped freely across a lush, green pasture, its mane billowing with the wind. Jack's voice was filled with quiet excitement as he narrated the picture. "And here's Bullseye, she's got a lot of energy, and loves to run around. She’s an Akhal-Teke, and the speed demon of the bunch."

Ángel laughed at the thought of a speedy mare and the sound warmed Jack's heart.

But as soon as Jack swiped to the third picture, it elicited a gasp of awe from Ángel. In that image, a striking black Andalusian horse stood tall against a backdrop of hills. Its glossy coat seemed to absorb the sunlight, giving the horse a beautiful shine. Ángel's brown eyes widened as he took in the creature, captivated by its beauty and strength.

Jack couldn't help but smile at Ángel's reaction. "That's Andor," he said, his voice holding a hint of pride. "He's the most majestic horse on the ranch, the true definition of a stallion. We'll make sure you get to meet all of them when you visit."

Ángel's excitement bubbled over as he delved into his vision for their ranch visit. He continued to rattle off a list of activities, his imagination running wild with possibilities. "Maybe we can play with the horses, Mr. Jack! And feed them apples! Wait, do they actually eat apples? And... and,” His voice trailed off briefly as if a lightbulb went off in his head. “Oh my God! How many horses do you have?" Ángel's eyes sparkled with excitement, his curiosity genuine.

"Lots of horses. More than these three,” He shook his phone. “Big ones, small ones, all sorts of them. Would you like to ride one?"

Ángel's eyes widened, and he practically bounced in his hospital bed. "Can I, Daddy? Mommy? Please!"

Javier chuckled at Ángel's excitement and nodded in agreement. "Of course, Ángel. I'm sure Jack can teach you how to ride safely."

“Can I ride Andor?” Ángel asked, his excitement apparent.

Jack paused for a moment, considering. He knew Andor was a spirited horse and perhaps not the best choice for Ángel's first ride. "It'll take a while to ride that one. How about we start with Bubbles?" Jack suggested, his voice gentle and reassuring.

Ángel thought it over, a slight frown forming as he passed his tongue over his cheek. His brows furrowed in contemplation, and then a cute, hopeful, and bright smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "Can I ride Andor eventually?"

At this moment, Jack knew there was little his son could ask for that he wouldn’t immediately hand over. However, he understood it wasn't his place to make decisions about Ángel's life. After a brief moment of hesitation, he replied, “Eventually. If your… parents agree.” It stung to refer to Javi as his son’s parent, but a big part of him reminded him that he had brought this on himself.

You chimed in with a warm smile. "We'll discuss it when the time comes, Ángel. If it's something you really want to do, and it's safe, we'll certainly consider it."

His eyes dimmed slightly in momentary disappointment. But the resilient spark in his eyes quickly returned as he nodded and said, "Muy bien.” (very well)

Jack, sensing Ángel's momentary letdown, decided to distract him. "Speaking of horses," he began, "would you like to hear a funny story about another one?"

Ángel's curiosity was instantly piqued, and he nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please!"

With a twinkle in his eye, Jack leaned in closer. "Now, Ángel, let me tell you about Randy, the sneakiest horse you'll ever meet. One sunny morning, just like today, Randy decided he was tired of the usual hay and grains. He had his eye on something sweeter."

Wide-eyed and intrigued, Ángel leaned closer. "What did he want, Mr. Jack?"

"Apples, my boy! The juiciest, crunchiest apples you could imagine. So while having his roaming time, he jumped a fence that was under construction and onto the Apple orchard."

Giggles escaped Ángel's lips. "He snuck into the orchard?"

Jack nodded, his eyes twinkling. "Oh, he sure did. And there he was, surrounded by my apple trees loaded with ripe, red apples. I woulda been fine if Randy ate a few, but he was a bit of a greedy horse."

Ángel's eyes widened with anticipation. "What did he do?"

Chuckling softly, Jack continued, "Well, instead of just taking one apple, like any sensible horse would, Randy went from tree to tree, until he'd eaten all but two apples!"

Your son’s laughter filled the room. "Almost all of them?"

Jack nodded, his voice filled with mirth. "Almost! And when the ranch hands found him, only one tree had two apples left. In his defense though, there weren’t many apples on the trees. Everyone had a good laugh once the vet was called.” 

Clapping his hands with delight, Ángel exclaimed, "That's a funny story, Mr. Jack!"

Smiling from ear to ear, Jack replied, "It sure is, Ángel. And when you visit, you can meet Randy. He's much better behaved now. "

“I’m glad Randy didn’t get sick.” Ángel said with a thoughtful look. Before Jack could respond, a shadow of sadness crossed Ángel's face, and he shifted the topic, his voice growing quieter. "Did you know horses don't throw up?" He asked Jack, his brown eyes focused intently. "I wish I were part horse; then, my food and medicine wouldn't make me throw up."

Everyone was silent for a while not knowing what to say. Your heart ached for your son, and you wanted to say something that would bring him comfort—racking your brain thinking how to do so. You get up from your seat and gently reach out, placing your hand on Ángel's. "Sweetie," you began softly, "I know it's tough, and we're so proud of how strong you are. Being part horse might sound fun, but you're our incredible, amazing boy just the way you are. And you know what? Horses can't have all the fun things you have. They can't watch your favorite movies or they can’t have dairy so no ice cream." You managed a smile, hoping to reassure him.

Javier chimed in, his voice full of love and support. "That's right, mi niño (my boy). We love you just the way you are. I promise you we’re doing everything we can so you won’t be here for much longer."

"Ángel," he began, leaning in closer to the young boy, "I want you to know something really, really important." Jack's voice carried a warmth and sincerity that was impossible to miss. "You are an incredibly special kid. You've shown so much strength, more than most people could ever imagine." His eyes locked onto Ángel's, filled with admiration.

Jack's smile was encouraging, like a reassuring hand on Ángel's shoulder. "You're brave, Ángel. So, so brave. And I'm not just sayin’ that. I mean it from the bottom of my heart. You've been through a lot, but you keep going, and that's something truly amazing."

With a gentle and affectionate pat on Ángel's hand, Jack continued, "Hang on, okay? We’ll get you outta this hospital as soon as we can. And then, we're gonna have so much fun together at the movies, ranch, and anything you want." Jack's words were filled with genuine enthusiasm, meant to uplift Ángel's spirits.

Ángel's eyes brightened at the sincerity in Jack's words. He absorbed the praise like a sponge, his tiny chest puffing out with pride. His eyes moved from one loving face to another, absorbing their words like a lifeline. Though still tinged with sadness, his voice held a touch of hope as he replied, "Los amo mami y papi." (I love you, Mommy and Daddy) 

A shy but radiant smile spread across his face as he looked up at Jack. "Thank you," he said softly, his voice filled with gratitude. "I'll be brave, just like you said, Mr. Jack." 

Jack patted Ángel's head affectionately. "No need to thank me, buddy."

Tears of love and pride welled up in your eyes as you leaned in to kiss his forehead. "We love you too, papito (baby), more than anything in the world."

A soft knock resonated throughout the room, and Javier called out for the person to come in.

The door swung open, and Ruth, Ángel's morning nurse, entered with her scrubs adorned with colorful teddy bears.

"Good mornin’,” She greeted with a kind smile. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything important."

Ángel, his eyes still shining with the love and reassurance from his parents and Jack offered a small but genuine smile to the Nurse. "No, it's okay," he replied softly. "We were just talking."

"Great! Then are you okay with me taking you downstairs for some tests?" she said gently. Then, she turned to you and Javier, asking, "Mom, Dad, is now a good time? Y’all are welcome to come with."

"Yes, now is fine," you agreed, your voice laced with gratitude. "We'll come along with him. Thank you for letting us be there."

Javier echoed your sentiments, "Absolutely, we want to be with him."

Jack stepped away from Ángel’s bed when he saw the nurse had a wheelchair with her. 

Nurse Ruth smiled kindly at your willingness to accompany Ángel and your words of gratitude. "Of course, it's important for families to be together during these times. I'll make sure Ángel's as comfortable as possible during the tests. Let's get everything set up, shall we?"

"Alright, Ángel," Nurse Ruth said gently, "I'll just adjust your IV pole here so it can move along with you." She carefully disconnected his IV from its stand and secured the IV pole to the wheelchair, making sure it was stable and within easy reach. 

As she prepared Ángel for the wheelchair, you leaned over and smoothed out his hospital gown to ensure it was comfortable and wouldn't catch on anything.

Javier took charge of folding up Ángel's favorite blanket, his movements gentle and precise. He placed it neatly over the backrest of the wheelchair, creating a cushioned spot for his son to sit on. 

Ángel carefully positioned his hospital-clad feet on the chair's pedals, making sure the baby blue sock with grips was securely in place.

It was all a practiced routine that was mastered a few days after Ángel’s admission.

The Nurse smiled at the collaborative effort. "You're a great team." she complimented before gently moving the wheelchair toward the door.

You noticed Jack standing at the side awkwardly, and you could see how intently he stared at your son- as if he was memorizing every move he made. Sensing his desire for a proper goodbye, you decided to give them a moment. 

"Nurse Ruth, if it's alright, could we have a few moments to say goodbye to our guest? We'll catch up with you in just a bit."

She nodded understandingly and stepped out into the hallway, leaving you, Javier, Ángel, and Jack together in the room.

You turned to your son and asked, "Ángel, how do you feel about Jack coming back to see you?"

Ángel, a mix of emotions dancing in his young eyes, replied, "He's nice, mami (mommy). I like him." He then turned his gaze to Jack and smiled warmly. "I hope you come back soon."

Jack, his heart heavy with the knowledge that he would have to leave his son behind, crouched down to Ángel's eye level. He spoke gently, his voice filled with both longing and love. "I hope so too, buddy. I'll be thinking about you all the time."

Ángel, not fully grasping the complexities of the situation but feeling the genuine care in Jack's words, extended his small hand toward him. "See you soon, Mr. Jack."

Jack took Ángel's tiny hand in his, fighting back the tears that threatened to surface. "See you soon, Ángel. Take care, alright?"

As Jack reluctantly released Ángel's hand, his eyes held a mixture of pain and hope. He knew he had to leave for now, but he also knew he would see him again.

You watched as Javier and Ángel made their way out of the room to Nurse Ruth. Javier recognized the look in your eyes and understood that you wanted to speak with Jack privately. He leaned down and kissed your cheek, whispering, "We'll see you soon."

You returned the kiss and nodded. Once they were out of sight, Jack turned to you. 

“Can I have your phone number?" he asked quietly, his voice tinged with vulnerability. "I don't want to keep talking through Raul." Jack had grown tired of the impersonal nature of communicating through your lawyer; it felt like a barrier between him, you, and his son, and he hated it.

You understood the sentiment behind his request, and despite the complexities of your history, you could sense his genuine desire to be more present in Ángel's life. 

“Give me your phone.” You extended your hand, prompting him to quickly hand over his Motorola. As you took the phone, you forgot that you’d seen it earlier and once again the memories of your past life together briefly flickered through your mind. 

“Your phone… it’s still-“

Jack interrupted, “The same. Yeah. And it’s my same number, so…”

“Oh,” you said in a flat tone, not letting your emotions show too much. “Uh… at least it still works,” you said, almost ignoring the fact that he didn’t change his phone number after the divorce, unlike you. “When you were showing it off to Ángel, I thought it was going to fall apart.” You laughed, and everything in that moment made Jack’s heart race. 

Jack joined in the laughter. "It's a tough old thing, but it's been with me through a lot," he admitted, his gaze briefly distant as if he was reminiscing. But he didn’t reveal the reason why he kept his phone after so many years.

“So you’ve got ranch money now?” You asked, attempting to steer the conversation away from the emotional minefield that lay between you two.

“Yeah, I got promoted,” he replied.

“Ah,” you nodded in understanding, masking the mixed emotions swirling within you. “That’s… that’s good.”

Jack wanted to stay in that moment with you, but you, on the other hand, felt like you couldn’t be there any longer. But before you left, you wanted to give him something.

You opened your small purse and pulled out a picture. It was a snapshot of Ángel when he was four years old. The image captured a family trip on a snowy day, and Ángel was bundled up in a fluffy red jacket with the cutest red and blue knitted hat.

Jack noticed the picture in your hand, and he couldn't tear his eyes off it. You handed him the small Polaroid and said, “Keep it. I have more at my house.”

My house. Echoed through Jack’s mind. Not our house. It was a stark reminder that the life he once shared with you and Ángel had irrevocably changed.

He raised his head to look at you, his face mirroring the same expression Ángel had given multiple times – brows furrowed, lips turned down in a mixture of confusion and sadness.

"Thank you." Jack finally replied, his voice on the verge of cracking. 

You nodded in acknowledgment and said, “I’ll call you if anything happens.”

“If… if I’m not a match, we’ll figure something out, I prom-” Jack stammered. He realized you probably wouldn’t believe his promises, so he chose his words carefully. “I know so.”

“Thanks,” you replied, your tone tinged with a mixture of gratitude and uncertainty.

Then, Jack's expression shifted to one of concern. “Oh, wait, his insurance, do you and…” He hesitated before mentioning your husband's name as if it left a bitter taste in his mouth. “J-Javier have to pay for anything?”

“No. His insurance covers everything, thankfully.” You reassured him, relieved that, at least in this difficult situation, financial concerns weren't adding to the burden.

Jack, visibly relieved to hear that financial worries wouldn't add to the stress, spoke up, his voice carrying a sense of sincerity. "I'd be more than happy to cover any of his expenses now and in the future."

You offered a small, appreciative smile. "Thank you, Jack. We'll talk about it later, alright? Right now, I have to go catch up with them. Take care. I’ll see you soon.”

With that, you turned and headed for the door, leaving Jack to his thoughts, the Polaroid picture of a young Ángel clutched tightly in his hand. A heavy ache settled in his chest, a feeling of pain that was almost unbearable. It felt like a part of him had stayed with you and Ángel, and he couldn't shake the sense of loss that washed over him.

Time seemed to blur as he stood there. Eventually, he snapped back to reality and pulled his phone out. With trembling fingers, he dialed a familiar number as he made his way out of the hospital.

Extended note: Thank you for reading! Please feel free to comment and reblog! I truly do love reading them! I promise I'll try to engage more!

Taglist: @kchavez666 @ttupelohoneyy @mishasminion360 @ilovetaquitosmmmm @stileslvr

If you're feeling angsty, maybe you'd like to read a heartbreaking story featuring Joel Miller- Que Vuelva (Hoy me muero yo).

#angst #jack daniels x female reader #Jack daniels x reader #agent whiskey x reader #jack daniels angst #jack whiskey daniels #jack daniels x you #kingsman fanfiction #Jack daniels #agent whiskey #no y/n #javier peña #javier peña x you #javier peña x female reader #javier peña x reader #pedro pascal fanfiction #not rpf #tw:sick child #pedro pascal character #loslentesdepedrito's writing #my writing #fic: iyw

[iaminfourthwing]

The Generals Daughter

a/n: finally the first chapter is here and the next one is almost ready for upload. I apologize in advantage, because I am still a bloody beginner in terms of writing. still, enjoy!

Chapter I

Conscription day will forever be one of the deadliest every year, right before Threshing. Ever since the first time I witnessed this from afar I hate it with all my heart. All year I have the same “privilege”, how my father would call it, to watch the candidates, that passed the entrance exam six month prior, fall to their death. And those who survive the Parapet either graduate or going to get killed – due to other cadets or dragons. One wrong move and all you will be is dead meat.

Today is possibly my last day on earth. I have to cross the Parapet myself to get into the Riders Quadrant but according to the General, I will just do fine – I am a Melgren and I have ten years of training in my bones after all. I am still not so sure about this, but I have no say in this. Not anymore.

Somewhere in between these masses of candidates must be a certain other general daughter and I really fucking hope she survives this. Even though she doesn't look like she could kill a fly, I believe wholeheartedly in her. She is strong and if someone can do this, it's her, even if she doesn't knows it yet. I tried to talk to her mother but she wouldn't budge, nothing would change her mind. Even Mira tried it more than once and if the General isn't listening to her, then she won't listen to anyone.

The orders from my father five days ago were clear – wait till the end, when everyone else is done, then I'll cross the Parapet alone. On the other side at the entrance to the quadrant will wait a third year that'll bring me to formation into the Dragon Rotunda. Commandant Panchek is informed that I'll join the Quadrant and which wing.

And with that I am waiting, and waiting, and waiting.

I have a good spot to observe these kids, trying to survive this death trail and see some of them already fall. I don't understand how some of them want to become a rider after all. So many of them volunteer to join the quadrant while others don't have a choice, like me. Malek lingers at every possible corner and no one is safe from him. Having a dragon might be “thrilling”, how many officers describe it, but till you possibly get to this point you could be dead, or worse.

These dragons are terrifying, like that beast of a dragon my father bonded all those years ago, long before I was born.

The weather isn't in anyone’s favor today – the storm took a turn at some point. Even though the sunrise was beautiful, it left a bitter aftertaste as the dark clouds covered the sky. For some of them it was their last sunrise ever.

It's been more than two hours since the first one entered the Parapet and there aren't many candidates left. I make out a figure striking over the stones like they own this place and – did they just threw another candidate down?!

My heart starts racing, my breathing becomes uneven, and I feel like I'm having a panic attack. Shit, now?!

`Take a deep breath, Arya. You`ll do this alone, no one can throw you down and no one will interrupt you.’

I just really hope I`ll never have to meet this asshole. I may look tough and have more fighting experience than others, but those people are unpredictable. And I certainly don`t have my father’s signet to see if I could win a fight against him, so I really want to avoid this guy.

A knock on the door interrupts my train of thoughts and when I turn, one of the officers from infantry stands at the door. “It's time” is the only thing he says. Shit.

Around fifteen minutes later I find myself lingering at the edge of the Parapet. No one else is around, the officer walked away the moment, I stepped foot into the tower.

Only a few centimeters separate me and the abyss. Just a few centimeters left and then I'll be out in the open while the rain thankfully eases into a slight drizzle.

`Okay Arya – you`ve got this. Take a deep breath – and step forward.’

Well … it takes me about three minutes, with stumbling and cursing the shit out of every person that crosses my mind, to reach the other side and I am nearing the entry to the famous Riders Quadrant. Just like father told me, a third year is already waiting for me, looking annoyed. But it's not like he can disobey a direct order from above. “Finally, they are about to start” he grumbles. Hello to you too, grumpy, but I know better than to aggravate him, since he has a dragon that could incinerate me before I even have the chance to hide.

We make our way through the empty corridors of the college while I try to sort my thoughts. I really survived the Parapet and now I am allowed to call myself a cadet. Still alive and can't fucking believe I am now part of this hellhole. I already imagine the way the General will stand in his office and rant about how it was predictable that I would succeed. “She is a Melgren after all and it would have been a waste of time if she didn't survived.”

Faint voices in the distance interrupt my thoughts, which get louder with every step we take but before we can even walk out into the biggest courtyard one has ever seen, the chattering grows quiet.

“Three hundred and one of you have survived the Parapet to become-“

The third year, I have yet to know his name, and I interrupt Commandant Panchek, who stands on the dais in front of the cadets.

“I apologize, Commandant, but it's three hundred and two.”

There is a heavy silence that spreads over the rotunda. I stand behind the tall rider, most of the curious glances immediately find him, only a few of them spot me behind. Great.

#fourth wing #fourth wing x reader #iron flame #bodhi durran #xaden riorson #bodhi durran x oc #bodhi durran x reader

[sprout-fics]

I dont know if this’ll make sense so I will try my best, but I hope in the end it’ll just help ease the anxiety you might have cause I’m normally a silent observer and like watching and reading and enjoying from afar

But you know Christmas cacti? It’s a plain little succulent that quietly makes a space in your home green and pleasant? But during the cold months it’ll make these bright beautiful flowers that are just so vibrant and pretty compared to the leaves and it’s hard not to look at cause gosh is it pretty. And they’ll stay for some time, a good couple of weeks, and then the blooms will fall off and it’s back to its sleepy self again till next season.

That’s how I come to this blog, and your writing. It’s so lovely, even when you haven’t posted anything. It’s a comfort to come back to and I enjoy each and every time cause it was great from the beginning. And when you post something new, it’s so exciting and I come running.

So if you find yourself just wanting to sit back, not posting so often, I’m very sure so many of us will come flocking to your writings or posts anyways cause even if it doesn’t last long or forever or it’s only a short time, we’ll enjoy what you have to give cause it’s a treat every single time. Like a Christmas cactus

Does that make sense? Anyways. I will always look forward for what you have to give, even if it’s weeks, months, or years in between each release of anything. Cause it’s worth it to me and it’ll feel just as good as the first, second, and third time, ya know?

Happy belated birthday, sorry I didn’t say it sooner, but take care of yourself. You deserve every good that you get so take it! 😊

I've read this message several times within the past day. I think it's one of the sweetest, kindest, most thoughtful messages I've ever had the pleasure to receive. I wish I had words to express how much I cherish it. I am so honored to be the recipient of this.

I used to feel the same way about this blog. It was a shelter from the rainstorm, a gentle place to land. Now, it makes me anxious and nervous- like being thrust outside into a gale and not knowing where to go. I think it's time I take a long, very long break. I tried to take one a little bit ago, but I don't think it solved the root issue of why I'm not enjoying myself, whatever that may be. I wish I knew. I wish I knew so I could fix it.

I'll be gone for a while. I'll still be uploading to ao3, but I don't find myself having the energy to crosspost here anymore. I'm not going to stop writing, but I am going to start doing it in a way where I'm writing for myself again, and not for others. I need to find the thing that made me start writing in the first place, so that if and when I come back, it will be through joy, not through an obligation of doing things just to do them. I have to stop treating myself like a content machine.

I'll still reblog things to @sprout-fics-reblogs probably. I like being here and seeing others' art and fics. I just won't be posting myself. I think I'm going to turn off asks as well. Just trying to shrink down and allow this blog to go dormant.

I appreciate every single person who has reached out to me. I have so many kind people following me and I think I take that for granted sometimes. Thank you. If you want to reach out to me, feel free to DM me, and I'll send you my discord.

Talk soon. Thank you. I love you. Bye.