jtl07 fics, spring 2024
We interrupt the posting about various water animals with my first fic recap of 2024!
An admission: I’m still in a rollercoaster of a headspace (also still open to song recs so I can make noises on the guitar btw) - I was, gently, reminded that it’s not even been a year since life upended itself and there’s been a lot that's happened in the past couple months, even more in the past couple weeks, so. We’ll take it one step - one water animal, one guitar riff, one fic recap - at a time.
General stats
Total on this pseud: 5
Fics posted (in chronological order):
Cat’s Cradle security checkpoint logs - Just a snapshot in the form of the contents of folks' bags
tell me all the things you believe - or: one year later
even though you're not mine - or: Ava comes back, but not hers; or or: Princington's artwork strikes again
i see you clearly now (i hold you dearly now) - or: on touch and waiting and wanting; or or: Ava comes back invisible
nineteen, again - or: Ava at thirty-eight
(Per usual, more numbers and thoughts under the cut)
More numbers
(As of last night; some of the numbers seem to have changed but only slightly)
Total words: 26,369
Shortest fic: 813 - Cat’s Cradle security checkpoint logs
Longest fic: 19,010 - i see you clearly now (i hold you dearly now)
Average/Median word count: 5,274 / 1,676
Most hits: 2,128 - i see you clearly now (i hold you dearly now)
Least hits: 555 - Cat’s Cradle security checkpoint logs
Average/Median percent of *interactions to hits: 21.3% / 22.0%
Highest percent of interactions to hits: 23.1% - nineteen, again
Least percent of interactions to hits: 18.7% - i see you clearly now (i hold you dearly now)
*where “interaction” = kudos, comment threads, bookmarks
General thoughts
None of the regular stats (all the word count stuff) were a surprise to me, so I added some new stats looking at interactions and hits. Interaction totals seem to correspond with hit counts (hence why I didn't note those above) but what was interesting was the percentages. Yeah, it's a difference of only a couple percentage points but the nerd in me is intrigued. As in: I wonder if the length and premise of "i see you clearly" was both draw (hits) and deterrent (interaction)? Also several comments mentioned liking the setting age-wise of "nineteen, again" so that plus the fact that there were a lot of familiar faces was perhaps folks knowing what they were getting into? idk, really can't draw any conclusions - it can also just be simple reader behavior.
Actually, speaking of which, another interesting thing I observed: I did an initial pull using the bookmarklet on the 25th, then updated the numbers last night. The numbers that changed the most were hits and, surprisingly, bookmarks (kudos were next, and comments hardly changed). I hadn't realized that bookmarks were utilized so much.
Fic that surprised you:
Technically "i see you clearly now" fits this prompt - but then again, it fits every prompt in this recap lol - but the fic I want to talk about here is "even though you're not mine. I had fully expected not to post anything for February (context: I have a soft personal goal to complete something every month) but then @princington had to go and be amazing lol. I distinctly remember seeing their art (linked above) and immediately being beset by two different ideas. I then went for a walk and during said walk, lines starting coming for the shorter idea. Near the end of the walk, the ending for the fic came to me as well, and by that time I was speedwalking to get back home and write it all down! It had been a while since I'd felt an idea take hold of me that quickly and completely - it's such a rush and was fun to write. That one definitely would not have happened without Prince's fantastic work <3
Fic that you're proud of:
Okay now I'll talk about "i see you clearly now" lol - everything about it was terrifying, from the length, the content, the style. It really was unexpected because the opening came fully fleshed out early on, which usually points to a quick little fic. But I remember hitting 3k and looking over what I had so far, and thinking very clearly: ohshit, this is going to be long. But I think what won out over the fear was this curiosity - I wanted to see where this fic was going to lead me. There was something in it that kept drawing me back, even though I didn't know at all where the story was going, something in me felt surprisingly, idk safe exploring what was, for me, uncharted territory.
Fun fact #1: I think it was around the 5k~6k mark - before I'd gotten anywhere near the ending, mind - I'd had this thought (which I'd fully written down in my notes lol) of having a fun spicy one-shot as a follow up. And then shortly thereafter, I realized how crucial physical intimacy was to the story and how it there wouldn't be a follow up - it had to be integrated into the fic. A lot of internal screaming ensued lol
Fun fact #2: I surprisingly didn't do a lot in terms of editing. The biggest was a rewrite of the phone conversation between Beatrice and Mother Superion. I remember feeling a bit iffy about it and @gohandinhand (best beta ever seriously!) gently highlighted it as well. I guess it was one of those scenes where I needed to know what the story was before I could really write that scene in a way that fit everything else. It was interesting because I felt that's how it was writing the fic as a whole - it wasn't very linear, it was more like I'd write one scene near the beginning, which gave some inspiration for a scene near the ending, which then brought me to a scene near the middle. It felt quite intricate, seeing how adjusting one area affected another, affected the whole.
Fun fact #3: Before I wrote the reunion, I sat down and studied a bunch of fics because I'm a nerd lol - there's that one post, which I of course can't find now, about how there's nothing more embarrassing than writing smut that doesn't turn anyone on, which I felt very keenly lol - I was like, jt, if you're going to do this, you better damn do this well. So I went through some other fics and studied structure, word choice, pacing - it was quite enlightening actually, and something I think I'll do more of this year. (Studying, I mean. Not the - well, I shouldn't promise anything about what I will or will not write lol)
Fic that was the hardest to write:
Much as "i see you clearly now" terrified me, it actually wasn't hard to write. Similar to Beatrice's arc in the story itself, I as the writer had to just be patient and allow it take form in the time it took. I mean, even that rewrite that I mentioned came on fairly easily.
Now that I think about it, I do remember "tell me all the things you believe" being difficult to write. Yeah, quite a number of afternoons sitting at a nearby Starbucks pulling at my hair lol The main prompt for that was simply to mark the occasion (that being my own 1 year of writing Warrior Nun/Avatrice). I think what I'm learning is that things are much easier when an idea is couched firmly in a character or an emotion. (For example, I mentioned a while ago having a hard time with i walked with you once, which could have also been due to not having formed a good grasp of JC's character)
Oh I also had not a difficulty writing, but a difficulty posting Cat’s Cradle security checkpoint logs - I'd thought it was too simple yknow? But ultimately I thought hey, this is all just for fun, not everything needs to be complex and worldchanging so why the heck not.
What's next?
Gosh that's a question I've been carefully avoiding what with being in the midst of so much transition. I've been doing a lot of resting and found myself being drawn to studying structure again - kishoutenketsu in particular (I recently found some studies I'd done a couple years ago, I might clean those up and post them here), and how to layer complexity onto that. Which is timely because there's a couple ideas that came to me late last year that I immediately knew were going to be complex and kinda put them on the shelf because I didn't think I was ready to write them. Writing "i see you clearly now" has made me question that thought so hopefully the studying will help bring up my confidence to at least try.
In any case, there are still plenty of ideas (Beatrice voice: "there's always more") it's just a matter of figuring out which ones feel right to write. I'll likely continue to be a little quiet here - save for the posts of the water animals lol - but I'll be around.
Anyway, huh, apparently I had much more to say than I thought I would for this recap. If you made it this far, wow, a virtual cookie for you! Hope the end of March brings some rest and comfort <3
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