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shufflerock-jam · 7 months

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Skilltober #12 : Suggestion

#wiggle wiggle wiggle #skilltober #skilltober12 #yall i am so tired #youre lucky this guy is fairly easy to draw #or there might have been no art today lol #my art #will i animate all of the skills now? probs not #but if im not shading them ill try to animate em

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1shirt2shirtredshirtdeadshirt · 2 years

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Why people think I ship Kirk/Spock:

*H0rny thirst*

Why I actually ship Kirk/Spock:

Mutual support, respect, admiration, trust, love, slow burn, best friend turned love of your life, ultimate sacrifice, the depth of loyalty, being the most important to each other, showing our differences and vulnerabilities are strengths instead of weaknesses, depending on others isn't wrong, willingness to connect, "let me help" . . .

Soulmates, t'hy'la, found family, lgbt+ representation, domestic bliss at least for a few years for two people who really f**in' earned it . . .

Both guys not ending up canonically sad and lonely as they grow older bc they never really "settle” long term with anyone else besides each other.

Like what did you genuinely want us to do with that, like -- our boys deserve to be happy and they mutually love each other so much.

Heck yeah, I love the idea of the two of them growing older together while still being in love and best friends.

Having adventures, solving problems and writing history all over the universe together.

Having a stellar time doing it because being next to each other is their favourite place to be; on a Starship, being the best team ever. It's beautiful.

Another very important reason why this fandom and K/S has been a safe place to land for me as a member of LGBT+:

My connection to Star Trek started through my family, but I loved it because it offered me a glimpse at the kind of world that I'd like to live in; more accurately, the world I was desperate to live in.

The world I was raised in was bitterly cruel and violent to LGBT+ folks like myself. I visited far too many friends in the ICU, unrecognizably beaten after a gay hate crime, than I ever should have had to -- especially in my young life before the age of 20. Those are images and ugly moments burned into my memory that will haunt me until I die. People talk about how pro-LGBT things are these days, and sure, things are certainly better; but I think too many people have swiftly forgotten how dire things were for us even those short years ago, even now.

Gene Roddenberry did something for me at that time when I was so bitterly lonely, conflicted about identity, and self-resentful in my life; I had genuinely considered ending it more than once. But TMP novel did something so huge for me back then when I was so turbulent and alone in the tiniest way possible.

I read TMP novel in high school; actually reading something that even remotely resembled a bisexual character when I first read this line from Jim Kirk in TMP novel was such a game changer for me at that time:

That small sentence might be next to nothing for some people, but that was huge for me. So huge that I don't think Gene Roddenberry might have ever considered how big that it could be for some isolated, lonely kid out there reading it.

I cried my heart out in my room stuck on that page when I first read it, because it really shook my soul. It was proof that at some point in time, someone out there had been brave enough to express the kind of feelings that I so fiercely hid in my mind.

That might sound really pathetic to the people reading this, but you have to understand how positively starved a person can be for commiseration or empathy when you are on the outside looking in constantly.

It is part of why I have always related to Spock so fiercely; that sense of belonging nowhere, being "weird", of not quite fitting in or meeting expectations -- and constantly being reminded of it.

All those moments growing up when you look around yourself seeking validation as a child and teen, looking for like minded people or kin; I looked around and found myself reflected literally nowhere.

It's like that metaphorical hand suspended in the air, waiting for a high five, and not one single, solitary person meets you halfway. Not one crumb of validation.

Then everyone around you makes you feel like you're weird and wrong and malfunctioning and not supposed to think that way and just be quiet and don't talk about it ever. Just be "normal."

I was so damn lonely. And scared.

Nobody around me thought or felt like me. I was raised in a strict Pentecost upbringing. Everything to do with LGBT+ was unequivocally off the table.

If I tried to even tentatively broach the subject of bisexuality with folks, most people would respond with revulsion; as if it were some perverted, weird sex kink. When like everybody else, I simply hoped to be loved someday for exactly who I was. Plain and simple.

I was a closeted bisexual teen living in the bible belt. It was a sheltered, oppressive existence for anyone, but especially for someone who identified as LGBT+.

Sad as it might be, this was the closest thing I'd ever gotten in my life thus far to bisexual representation or validation. It was the first example I remember seeing in any of the stories that I loved growing up. Up to that point, I hadn't heard or seen anyone else in the world express exactly how I felt inside anywhere. Until James T. Kirk.

So forgive me if I somehow hurt or upset other fans when I read it through my own lens in my desperation to feel seen or understood. What other way can we look at the world and it's many stories, after all, other than through our own eyes?

To be quite frank, those few little ambiguous words from Jim Kirk in that footnote of that dusty old 1979 1st edition Star Trek: The Motion Picture novel that I still have on my bookshelf all these years later?

That tiny little sentence absolutely rocked my bisexual f**king world in high school.

That one tiny sentence meant so much to me. I re-read that page so many times. I even stuck a bookmark in the page and I’d pop it open after yet another long, shitty day of being harassed, chased, or called a "f@g".

Call it pathetic, but I’d feel a little sear of camaraderie in my angry, lonely existence. 'At least Jim Kirk has my back, f**k those guys". And it made me feel a tiny bit less alone in this giant universe.

I can still recite it word for word. I used to read it over and over again, just to have that giddy feeling in my heart of: "Oh God, what a relief. There it is. There I am. Someone else out there wrote down exactly how I feel inside. It's right there in this book. It's a real thing that exists somewhere outside my head."

For the first time in my life, I saw something even remotely like myself represented somewhere, and I found that in Jim Kirk.

Some people might call that "a reach".

By all means, go ahead.

But do that bearing in mind the kind of reality that people like myself contended with when you get “upset” that we might be “queer washing” your character by pushing for representation:

- Homosexuality was listed as a mental illness in the DSM5 until 1974.

- Anti-sodomy laws were not considered unconstitutional until 2003 in the US (as in you could legally get arrested/charged for engaging in homosexual acts up to that time).

- The Netherlands was the 1st country to legalize gay marriage and that was only as recently as 2001. Canada legalized gay marriage in 2005. The US did not legalize gay marriage until 2015 and they are currently gunning to take that right away again.

*It is important to note that the definition of spouse only included same-sex partners only starting in 2013; that means that if a person was dying in the ICU, you were prohibited from visiting them unless you were legal family. For decades right up until 2013, your right to visit your lover if either of you were on your deathbed was revoked on the basis that you were not married -- and that right was not even offered to LGBT+ folks till 2001.*

So, yeah.

Maybe it is "a reach" through your privileged lens, having all the representation in the world at your disposal if you identify as straight - I mean, God forbid we might like a scattered one or two on our team.

But it is also very hard to secure legitimate representation when the society and culture you grow up in tells you that you should not exist in the first place.

Not only demands that you shouldn't exist, but legally persecutes you for it or forces you into cruel, inhuman religious conversion therapy simply for existing. For trying to love someone else honestly.

So pardon me for being absolutely starved for even the slightest hint of a vapour that resembled representation during a time period when I was asked (moreso ordered) not to exist and barely wanted to as a product of it.

God forbid that my seeing potential bisexuality in Jim Kirk might actually put you off of your Star Trek chowder because "eeeewww, bisexual Jim" . . . how very selfish of me. /s

But sure . . . y'know.

I'm just mindlessly "h0rny", and all that.

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soldier-poet-king · 5 months

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Lunch of champions. Crostata + latte at 3pm

#BEACON OF HEALTH #the duality of fran #yall i am so tired #i went out one (1) night and its like. holy shit. i am NOT used to this #im so so so so tired #one of my nonnas church friends made crostata and im like. senora. senora grazie. im gonna die #head hurts im trying to be productive and prep for that interview its sooo much prep work #I JUST WANNA NAP AND EMBROIDER AND WATCH ANIME

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girluimfailing · 5 months

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I'm labeled a Talia apologist because I don't support racist takes. Weird world we live in.

#talia al ghul #Yall I am so tired #and ion think no one knows this abt me but she literally reminds me SO MUCH of my mom and what she went through #literally so sad people feel so comfortable to shamelessly use white savior n dragon lady tropes on a character that isn't even like this💀

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dissociatedbi · 2 months

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It's a really weird moment, going to a 2nd opinion doctor at a big university hospital and being told "your doctor is right, there's nothing else we can do for you besides remove your colon and reconstruct your pelvic floor surgically."

Moment of silence for my asshole. RIP

#ostomy #colonic inertia #ehlers danlos syndrome #yall i am so tired

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beatheprincess · 3 months

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Trying to gaslight myself into thinking this small scar will go away n that I'll be be pretty no matter what 🥴

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performing-personhood · 1 year

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Someone On Reddit Was Wrong And Mean To Me About It And Then I Lost An Entire Day To Shutdown: an autistic horror story starring me

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crymeariveronceagain · 2 years

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Sometimes college is watching a mockumentary about a dog show to drown your quiet need to cry

#college #personal #yall i am so tired #;-;#not fandom content #the college transfer saga continues

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im-still-watching-anime · 2 years

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have had an appointment scheduled for months to further address some head issues i’ve been having including some memory issues and time haziness and i literally was setting everything up for it to go today and it took my sister seeing a snapchat of some of my appointment information to point out to me that today is in fact not tuesday and my appointment is actually tomorrow lol

#i hate this #the irony of the entire situation #i feel So Dumb #i have been so stressed #just sort of sent her a picture of the screen while i was telling her all the trouble i was having organizing it for today #and she was like hey uh cass what day is that appointment for bud #and she was right #it’s for tomorrow #had this date in my head for MONTHS and still messed it up #yall i am So Tired #cannot wait to go to my appointment TOMORROW #you know the day it’s been scheduled #for months #the date on all my reminders and sticky notes #you know the one that hasn’t changed #🤦‍♀️#life junk #not anime

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youneedtostudyives · 3 months

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I have no clue why, but my professor had extended one of the tests due date for me. I guess instead of a 40%, I can work my way up to a 41%!

#yall i am so tired

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lonelypoe · 3 months

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Low effort OC doodles with quotes my friends have said.

#incorrect quotes #oc doodles #they so silly #do you ever just #oc art #my shitty art #yall i am so tired #friend quotes

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yee-haw-wizard · 7 months

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Who knew that a new environment, second job, full class load, hour long commute, processing feelings, attempting to change yourself, and not getting enough sleep would destroy a person mentally?

#yall i am so tired #ive reached a point where its not “gotta get wverything done” but now “gotta pick and choose what gets done”#like notes that i forgot to do or only partially did? forget them #didnt start a draft of a paper? just write it all in one go #survival mode activated #oh and theres nothing i can do to change this other than reeling myself in for each thing #less change less effort less commitment #mcdeaks speaks

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vurelly · 10 days

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narilamb ft. that one scene from princess mononoke

#cotl #narilamb #cotl narinder #the lamb #the lamb cotl #the one who waits #im so tired of working on this so yall get it unfinished and how unhappy i am with it

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2aceofspades · 1 year

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A lil 'tail' of sorts...

Aftermath bonus:

Casey Jr. worked really hard on his new hairstyle...only for Peepaw Leo to mess it up...tsk tsk.

Ah, this was fun to make...I'm a bit rusty when it comes to comics, but hey, I'm having fun and that's all that really matters...right?

#rottmnt #future leo #peepaw leo #future leonardo #f!leo #rottmnt casey jr #rise of the tmnt #a lil comic for yall #so much fluff gah!#did i mention how much i love these two?#i love them #also i am so tired now haha #shoutout to comic artists that can do this and live to tell the tale yall are amazing fr

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fellowfights · 4 months

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I'm gonna be so honest with y'all. I don't take you seriously if you complain about the casting of the Percy Jackson show because the poc actors aren't "book accurate."

Because here's the deal. I remember when the internet threw a fit when Rue, a black character, was played by a black person. It didn't matter that it was book accurate, y'all didn't want to see a black person on screen.

For some of y'all, it's not that you are against adaptations straying from the source material- you are simply anti black.

If you are about to argue with me, I want you to ask yourself something. Did you not mind the race change of Grover, but you are against the casting of Annabeth? If that's true, maybe try to address that. Acknowledge it and try to deconstruct your anti-black biases.

#being black in fandom spaces is so tiring #i am utterly exhausted #yall complaining about how now annabeth wont have an arc of not being taken seriously is sending me #its TOTALLY not like black people aren't seen as smart or resourceful and constantly not being taken seriously #that would be RIDICULOUS #anyway im tired but i am enjoying the show so far #percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackon and the olympians #percy jackson #the hunger games

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rafeandonlyrafe · 4 months

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pheromones

words: 1.1k

warnings: 18+ only! smut, male receiving oral, idk if this is a warning but talk about his soft penis???

taglist: @drewstarkeyslut @thelomlisrafecameron @f4ll-for-you @dilvcv @drudyslut @drewsbabygirll @jjmaybankswifes-blog @rafescokenostril @jjsmarijuana @jjmaybankisbae @seeingstarks @angelofcigs @cece45450 @babygorewhore @vanessa-rafesgirl @michelleisheres-blog

“ive missed you so so much.” you tell rafe, arms wrapped around his shoulders, your face stuck into his neck, inhaling his scent that you've been devoid of all day.

“missed you too baby.” rafe rubs his hands over your back before picking you up, letting your legs cross over his waist while his hands grip your bum to hold you up as he walks into the kitchen, setting you down on the countertop.

“how was work?” you hum, not really interested in how his day went, you're too distracted by his smooth deep voice and the way his hands move as he prepared a sandwich for himself, always needing a little something to eat after he gets home from a long day.

“baby, are you even listening?” rafe questions, making your eyes shoot up to his face as he takes a bite of his sandwich.

you blush, knowing you've been caught. “im sorry.”

rafe laughs gently, moving between your legs as he finishes his sandwich, letting you pet your hands all over him, his thickly muscled arms, smooth planes of his cheeks, and wide strong chest.

you lean in once he finishes the sandwich, pressing your nose against his chest and inhaling, the unique scent of musk filling your head.

“come here.” rafe hums, hands coming to cup your jaw, tilting your head up to press a strong kiss against your lips. you immediately deepen it, tilting your head and pressing your chest against rafes as your mouth works against his.

rafe pulls away far too early for your liking, making you whine.

“oh shush baby.” rafe says, but the smile on his face shows that he's not mad at all, even if you are being a little bratty. “im gonna go shower.”

“nooo.” you grip onto his hand as he starts to move away.

“no?” rafe questions.

you sigh. you obviously have no problem with rafe being clean, but you also hate that the shower removes his natural scent, replacing it with whatever body wash you currently have in stock. it's an artificial scent, and while still good, it's nothing compared to rafes natural odor after all of that has worn off.

“i wanna suck you.” you simply say, sliding off the counter and onto your knees.

rafe smiles down at you, his hand coming to pet your cheek. “you're a desperate little thing, arent you?” rafe questions, and you're worried he's going to deny you, but he just takes your hand and helps you stand. “i don't want you to bruise your knees on the tile when we have that event on friday. you can suck me off in the living room.”

rafe leads you onto the carpeted floor, much softer so your skin wouldn't turn purple. you slide to your knees again, hands immediately coming to his pants, working the button and zipper open before tugging them down. rafe places his hands on his hips, looking down at you as you grip the band of his underwear, pulling it down to his knees next.

rafes cock is still soft, making you smile. you love when you get to bring him to hardness. you dont waste any time touching with your hands, wanting him in your mouth immediately.

when rafe is soft it's the only time you can fit him comfortably inside of your mouth. you take a deep breath of his scent, so intoxicating your mouth waters as you suck on his soft dick, your eyes rolling back in your head at the smooth pliable skin, tongue rubbing over his length.

“my pretty girl just couldn't resist, huh?” rafe questions, hands smoothing over your hair as he looks down at you, a loving gaze in his eyes despite the lewd nature of your actions.

“i love when your cock is soft like this.” you hum, licking over the shaft as it hardens under your tongue.

“you like it soft?” rafe laughs, hand gripping your hair as he guides your teasing kisses back to the head of his cock. you seperate your lips, taking it back into his mouth.

“mhm.” you nod, humming around his cock, your hand coming to grip the base of his length, stroking as you continue to suckle on the head.

“but what about all the things i can do to you when im hard?” rafe questions, groaning when you pull off to answer, but your hand quickly makes up for it as you grip his now hardened length.

“i love that too, obviously. it's just so cute all soft.” you smile gently, looking at his cock lovingly.

“you are silly, babygirl.” rafe says, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead.

“i just love everything about you. everything about you is hot and cute and adorable and sexy and-”

“baby.” rafe cuts off your rambling, looking down at you expectantly. “you were sucking me off.”

“oh right, sorry!” you giggle, making up for the lapse in blowing him by taking his cock as deeply down your throat as you can, bobbing your head immediately, closing your eyes to concentrate on making him cum as quickly as possible, needing his flavor on your tongue.

“your mouth is spectacular.” rafe groans, hands gripping your hair, guiding you up and down his cock, knowing exactly how deep he can press before it's too much for you.

you pull off to blink up at rafe. “spectacular? really?” you giggle.

“shut up.” rafe groans, rolling his eyes with a smile playing at his lips. he shoves you back onto his cock, now beginning to thrust his hips as well to meet you, not caring when you cough or gag slightly.

“gonna cum in your mouth.” rafe says, and you nod slightly, humming around his cock as he continues fucking into your awaiting mouth. you suck as deeply as you can, anxious for his warm seed to spread along your tongue.

rafe releases with a groan, pushing his cock down your throat for the first couple spurts before pulling back, letting you suckle on the head of his cock while licking out every drop that you can.

you pull away to stick your tongue out for rafe, letting him see the mess of cum on your tongue before nodding to let you swallow it, which you do happily.

“can i go shower now baby?” rafe asks, helping you stand up as you stretch out your sore legs, but no bruises grace your knees.

“if i can shower with you.” you say, not ready to part from your boyfriend yet.

“if i can fuck you in the shower.” rafe says, laughing when you nod enthusiastically.

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