#yeah they feel hated. and u kno what? its bc they fucking are. and they can pretend they dont know why all they want. but its bc guess what!

[sayakxmi]

(From Discord, about Hakuryuu & Alibaba)

Hakuryuu must feel like a clown for saying all that shit about Alibaba, and then having Alibaba basically save his country that Hakuryuu fucked up, the same country that fucked up Alibaba's country and his life kinda, too.

And how is he supposed to talk abt this? Bc he probably should.

Is he supposed to say thanks or sth?

Maybe he'll just cook him something… Yeah, that sounds like a good idea…

He'll cook for everybody, but coincidentally it's gonna be Alibaba's fav dish… yeah, that sounds like a plan…

Aladdin & Morgiana at some point look at Hakuryuu & go, ok, we're getting him drunk

"I missed you you know ;_; like, you were my first friend efur, and, well, maybe Judar kind of but we weren't ever close like until recently, cuz he was kinda a dick"

"Yeah, that much didn't change"

"YEAH and you were actually, you know, like,, ugh... NICE you were a nice person Alibaba-dono, but like super weird what was with that swearing off hate, 'ts fuckin stupid, but youre kind of stupid so that makes sense"

"...?"

"But it was the GOOD stupid you know? The comfortable nice and stupid, but also you were pissing me off so much with that goody-two-shoes attitude, you were so fucking annoying, how ppl like that exist, who allowed that"

"...I... I'm not sure what you're trying to say at this point, so, uh, thanks... probably.... But maybe give me that"

(takes away Hakuryuu's wine, considers drinking it, then looks back at Hakuryuu, and, yeah, maaaaybe not tonight.)

"UGH, but I wanted u to join u kno, like, when Judar & I were wrecking stuff, I really wanned you to be a part of it... ;_; like Im kinda gald u didnt but I WANTED you to you know,you were one of my only friends and we both tried to take our homelands back & I thought maybe we could do it together yknow Judar made fun of me when Ive mentioned"

"Oh... Um-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah ofc you wouldnt have agreed youre too GOOD for this im kinda glad you didnt but do you ever wonder what wouldve happened if you did???"

"...no, not really. There was no way I wouldve agreed to sth like-"

"We couldve ruled the world together Alibaba-dono, all of us, you and me and Judar ans Aladdin-dono, and Morgiana-dono, it wouldve been GREAT"

"No, it very much-"

"No it wouldnt have buf thats what I THOUGHT I missed you guys so fucking mych yo you didnt even say goodbye you were supposed to be my FRIEND"

"Oh, that, um. I panicked and Morgiana held me back..."

"Oh my gosh THATS what happened I thought you didnt like me anymore ;_; "

"What? NO! Of course I liked you! I still do!"

"You do??? 🥺 Even after I killed you??"

"Uh, it really sucked but yeah, and its not like I handled that all that wellOOPF"

(Hakuryuu hugs him)

#magi #alibaba saluja #magi shitpost #alihaku #if you feel like it #ren hakuryuu

[lucky-draws]

liquid or psycho mantis for the chara bingo. theyre huge fan favorites but i never clicked with them

HRMM GOOD QUESTION... i have sort of merged them together/am answering for both of them because i kind of feel the same/similar abt them tbh

ALT

i think first of all i only really care about mgs1 liquid and mantis, because i've not played mgsv so even tho i do Know Of their young versions i don't really like have any strong feelings abt them. HOWEVER. for mgs1 liquid + mantis i think they're ppl that i tend to ignore/forget but that if i actually think abt them they’re good and maybe deeper than they seem. more down below:

like liquid is a Funny Guy he’s very funny as a ridiculous cartoon villain similar to ocelot i guess BUT i do feel like him being one of the clones automatically gives him some depth which if i could be bothered to explore i would. like he’s obviously insane and silly but idk its interesting to think abt how he sees himself/himself in relation to big boss/ and just what is it that he really wants etc. the specifics of his daddy issues . and i think his dynamic with mantis is very fun like i dont go there but they are a fun pair with a lot of potential. i dig their whole childhood friends to like whatever . goth freak and beans on toast jock blowing up the world. maybe they hang out inside each other’s minds psychically. i think it’s a shame there’s not a bit more of them as adults in canon i guess idk? and also like. i think psycho mantis is fucking FUN like ignoring any deeper thoughts he’s such a good character on a funny and wacky level. i’ll never forget like. ok so the twin snakes was the first mgs game i ever played right? and i knew nothing abt the series and was kind of only just getting into playing games that arent pkmn or mario at that point anyway. so i was not expecting any of the mgs wackiness at all. but when i got to the psycho mantis fight i laughed so much id never played a section of a game like it before. like when he says put the controller down and i’ll move it with my mind and u do and the rumble makes it “move” and it’s so STUPID but so fucking silly and funny i was enamoured. like. just that whole fight the music the room his sick bondage outfit all the breaking the 4th wall. honestly i loved it. the first mgs fanart i ever did was of psycho mantis would you believe. bc halfway thru playing twin snakes i was just like this guy rocks. so anyway even tho that’s more of a comment on the game as a whole and not mantis as a character i think i will always be fond of mgs1(twin snakes) mantis because honestly he’s what really sort of made me go (!) this series is fucking stupid cringe insane bad goofy FUNNY and i love it. u kno???? so respect to him. 

so YEAH overall i think while i do tend to favour big boss/ocelot/snavid/ those kinda characters more, i definitely don’t hate or dislike liquid + mantis, they’re my friends definitely my good friends. ( i half filled in has never done anything wrong bc i love that post that says something similar abt liquid like “what did he actually do” “was going to launch a nuke” “yeah but he didn’t” LOL. )

#YAY hello cathy ray tube ty for the ask it was inchresting to think abt these guys #:-) #lisette mumbles #also can i just say i dont care if ppl think the twin snakes sucks it has its flaws but its what got me into the series so i like it AND. #i enjoy when snake does sick backflips. because im not boring and miserable. SORRY. but its just how i feel. t

[foolshoujo]

disclaimer; the following has zero bearing on future or current ships etc etc & is just silly rambles about the canon world slate for my portrayal & the brainworms i have for it etc etc not a force ship whatever anyways---

okay ima use this one post to like both ramble & meme about the twins love lives bc im hilarious & i laugh at my own jokes but also stomps on my own heart. see this verse post to have reference to what i mean by FILE 001 or FILE 002 etc etc

so at some point i feel i will make a like ‘world slate’ style post for reference aka like what twin had what social link, did anyone die in t/artarus, c/hidori & shi/njiro’s supposed deaths, any of the sees members date or what their relations are to the twins specifically etc etc but i will often refer to this sort of world slate style set up bc its like the canon to the twins outside of like rp interactions or ships i have on the blog u kno what im talking about gamers. anyways for realies so in this canon state min/ako canonly dates akihi/ko & mi/nato has a somewhat unrequited love w/ fuuk/a in the sense that the two had feelings for each other but did shit all about it. in FILES 001 & 003 mina/to leaves fuuka/ a note in her room confessing & apologizing that it took him dying to admit those feelings & it was unfair to the both of them but he wants fuuka to move forward in life & love again, after all they are only in high school.

mOVE ASIDE NERD no more mi/nato time to rant on the idiot jocks in love. okay so min/ako was never a ‘san/ada-senpai fangirl’ nor does she play into that. in fact she tends to try to avoid anyone of the fanclub members as best possible as she really hates stupid confrontation. && fangirls throwing a fit just because m/inako lives in the same dorm as the apple of their eye is stupid confrontation & she has had to deal with it constantly since transferring to gekko/ukan. y/ukari & fu/uka no doubt also get this treatment but its not about them rn. her crush was a natural one. fighting side by side with aki/hiko, living in the same space so dinners breakfasts idle time are spent bonding with each other, hanging out when the two of them don’t have practice--- && the biggest is that the two are both on athletic teams & are in the gym p much on the same days. no doubt all the various sport teams & clubs have a bit of closeness to them as their proximity is very close as most of them only have two maybe three days not at the gym or track in some manner. which means ur likely to run into each other going to practice, cleaning up after practice, during practice etc etc like lets be real. tl;dr min/ako tripped into dokis very naturally no weird fangirl time. however jun/pei is not free from sin he is her wingman, he is pushing her to make a move bc we all know akih/iko sure wont. the problem here is u have two jocks, two very dumb jocks who are very much not bright. the two here ‘you should go out’ & they are like ‘oh for a run ? yeah totally lets go.’ this is 80% of their interactions, sometimes on purpose so they can not be awks w/ each other. junp/ei is forcing these two to go to the convenience store together, hes creating dumb grand schemes about oh no the two are locked on the roof after cleaning the dorm ahhh. like he’s trying. bless that boy.

if you are to ask min/ako about anything romantical she will respond like rig/by from reg/ular sho/w.

mina/ko absolutely the type to be utterly devoted & fuck annoying. ooeygoogy cheesy romantic lines n shit. look me dead in the eyes & tell me that this isnt true of minahiko after akih/iko canonly says ‘you dont need to believe in god you just need to believe in me’ get out of here. you walk into the dorm & they are on the couch u immediately groan & walk past them bc they are telling each other how cute they are. die.

the fact that jun/pei’s room is across from akih/iko’s is really funny that poor idiot is the biggest fucking bro, you kno he’s covered for these two idiots all the time. he deserves a medal of honor.

the idiot jocks of the dorm are constantly forced to be paired off as jokes, for manual labor, or as a meme naturally become a couple & the only ppl surprised were the jocks themselves & also mitsu/ru who has no spacial awareness of the interactions of the people around her nyx bless

also in FILE 002 where one of the twins has to relive the year while the other holds the fort down as the seal in their eternal never ending cycle of repeating history i want to point out how utterly romcom romance novel moment of despite the hundreds of times mina/ko has experienced that year of 2009 over & over again she picks akih/iko every time. && while its only a echo of a memory in her heart & she knows how the story ends before it starts, she always picks him.

jump/ei: okay if you could pick anyone that wasnt your partner to smooch who would it be mina/ko, without thought or hesitation: rio akih/iko glaring at both of them: ---HEY.

#( about; lore / headcanon. ) #( ooc; do not reblog. )

[three-bunnies-in-a-trenchcoat]

OHH MY GOD THE "BEYOND..." OPTION I FORGOT AB THAT ONE!!! sksw link is such a rascal i love him so...

and donot fucking worry i know EXACTLY what ur talking abt with how it permeates the tags and ao3. finding good ao3 fics is impossible and ESPECIALLY for sksw and oot. im surprised ive found what good ones i can man. also i could talk for hours alone about how L/U has impacted malons character bc i adore her to the point of devoting a major part of my post-oot aus to what happens to her and seeing how shes interpreted nowadays is so. hhhhh !!!!!!! :((( stop making her a scolding mother figure stop making her Links Wife and nothing else she can be so much more than just that!!!!!!!!!!!! aauauausbaa. actually i could talk forever and ever abt how fanon link and malon and zelda tends to make them the worst possible versions of themselves and how l/u kinda perpetuates that but its 1 am and i have a fic to write so fffff

and the names man the names. its such a small thing (and im no stranger to sometimes using those abbreviations in some of my posts when i get especially verbose or have to talk abt multiple links all at once) but i try to go outta my way to refer to the chars as [game] [name] just to make it as clear as possible that im not talking abt the l/u counterparts. theyre practically their own chars to me at this point which sucks when im looking for content of my favs sksw link or oot link and i get Sleepy Soft Boy and Responsible Serious Soldier like no! no!!!!! thats my purse i dont know you /ref!!!!!!!

anyways. maybe i am just old and not with it since ive been a loz fan almost my entire life but it is nice to see someone who feels the same 👍 ty for lettin me complain for a moment there.

on a lighter note tell me about the "sksw link is not actually sleepy" thing bc im curious. its a thing thats mentioned abt pre-destiny link but after zelda falls it does kinda go away aside from the eyebags in his character model and i wanna kno what u hafta say ab it.........

You and I, we can be haters together

The one SMALL mercy I've found while looking up loz fics is that there's no lu fics in the ghiralink tag. For obvious reasons I think. Everywhere else seems to be a fucking HELLHOLE (the first thing I search when I first start looking for fics in a fandom is time travel and uh-- you can imagine what I found (BARELY FUCKING ANYTHING (and also lu)))

Also I haven't gotten around to watching an oot playthrough yet-- is it really that bad with Malon? (For the record I much prefer zelink and like-- I don't even really like zelink all that much beyond ss. And also I hc oot as siblings sometimes. So yeah.)

Honestly I would love to play oot but I can't :( and alas, watching playthroughs is just dreadfully dull (I got a decent way through an mm one though but gave up eventually). Regarding oot link's character though-- I admit I myself have not yet written a fic where it's not lu (or adjacent) so I don't really get the intricacies of his character (see also aforementioned playthrough dullness) so like. If you ever want to talk to someone about it all I would be interested

I also do the name thing, with game then character (on one hand the "hero titles" is just lazy and i really hate how it's become common and they would never give each other names like that but on the other the reason I haven't written much for MY links meet au is because I can't come up with 12 names that don't sound stupid and are also names they would give each other, so. And also apparently those names aren't official to lu (in comic jojo will use things like the old man (time) the smithy (four) the rancher (twilight) and full hero titles on posts (hero of the skies, hero of the four sword, etc)). So as you can see all bad things come from fandom, in this essay I will,

Ok so. It's been a while since I've fully played ss (like two months but my memory is just shit). So I might be wrong. But Link simply does not seem very sleepy to me? Especially not to the extent he is in lu.

For one-- our first introduction to him is him sleeping, yes, and we get told by many npcs and Zelda herself that he oversleeps, but there's a VAST difference between oversleeping and being sleepy. I myself am bad at alarms and such and beyond Premium Loftwing Mail (letter spat in your face) there's really nothing to wake him up, so he'd probably just sleep too long

Also he's been having dreams about the Imprisoned for who knows how long. Dude probably ain't sleeping that well (fi I love you but I think that might have been a mistake)

(Side note he's still in school and there's an open book on his desk-- he COULD be staying up late studying. Unlikely but I think that would be interesting)

Honestly it all just seems like teasing to me-- there's no indication that he's ACTUALLY constantly sleeping too long, just that it's happened enough times that some people have noticed (and it's not like everyone says it). Honestly the only thing pointing to a constant sleepiness is his "sit too long on a stool and start nodding off" animation (which is still like, really funny imo. how are you even DOING that you are SITTING STRAIGHT UP)

Now, delving into my own hcs and such-- he did not sleep. After Impa calls him lazy and too late at the earth temple, something I think would distinctly Fuck Him Up (he SAW the chains Zelda was held by), he would simply-- forgo sleep until it was necessary. I've seen estimates that sksw took place over about 11 months, and that's what I generally use in my fics, so-- my dude really said "I wont rest until I find Zelda" and then took a knife to his sleep schedule

(Side note-- do you think they held a funeral (or Skyloft equivalent) for Zelda? Like it seems that after a week or so of searching, the reasonable conclusion of her being dead would be reached (especially if her bird came back, which-- what's up with that? There must be some nesting area for loftwings, so either it would be seen there or it would also be presumed alongside Zelda if it got sucked down to the surface))

So anyway. His tiredness is self imposed, not something he's always had. (One of my febuwhump fics was that he was literally so exhausted he got hurt and passed out midfight. It was fun.)

Also like I don't know if it's just me but sleepy and tired have different meanings-- sleepy is, idk, cuter? Softer? And tired is. I haven't slept in 17 hours and before that I slept for three hours. (Maybe THAT'S just why it bugs me so much)

And also! Like you said! Beyond the eyebags (which are always there, lending credit to my theory of oversleeping because he simply didn't sleep well/enough) he's really... not tired OR sleepy for the majority of the game

Anyway moving onto lu :) SKY BEING THE LAZY ONE REALLY BUGS ME BECAUSE SIR HAVE YOU EVEN PLAYED THE GAME. YOU'RE GOING TO ASSIGN HIM THE ATTRIBUTE OF LAZINESS WHEN HE ALMOST CERTAINLY PUSHED HIMSELF HARDER TO RESCUE ZELDA AFTER BEING CALLED SUCH? AND THAT'S ALL YOU'RE GOING TO REDUCE HIM TO? YOU COULD'VE AT LEAST PICKED SOMETHING COOL LIKE "GOD KILLER" OR SOMETHING ACCURATE LIKE "LITTLE SHIT"

Ha. He's the one who bugs me the most because ss is my favorite game (not just Zelda game, favorite out of anything) and I've put literal hundred of hours into it. There's honestly more I could say but i fear I've already descended into "wildly incomprehensible"

#sorry if i was talking weird in some bits i get like that when its late #mb and strawberryrosewood scream about hats

[pepprs]

FUCK!!!!!!!!! tag vent sorry

#god. GOD!!!! this is so hard. i need to figure something out. i need to. i cant keep doing 3 jobs. i literally cant or i’ll die. and one of #them is my whole life and im locked in and wojld meber leave kt but. god i need to figure out which of the other 2 im cutting. and its hard #the graphic design job is... the one ive been @ the longest and my fav thing abt it is the people but so many of my coworkers r graduating #and also i like being able 2 do art and fall in2 a routine but im getting burned oht and i can feel it and when my friends leave its gonna #make me even less motivated! and then the other one... started as graphic design and then i got promoted against my will and now im in #charge of communications fr the whole thing and i hated it and was so overwhelmed w the responsibility ad still kinda am and its sluggish #sometimes. but then a rly close friend of mine joined as my right hand person basically and . he’s like one of the best ppl ive ever met and #yeah im still overwhelmed and this is stressful and even painful sometimes. but wjen he and i come up w an idea? when we connect? its #beautiul! we make such a good team and we’re doijg really brave and important stuff trying 2 heal the organizatkon and . how can i leave him #and all of this that we’ve just now started doing when theres so much left 2 do. and so im stuck. #i never ever tjought there would even be a choice btween the 2 u know. and i feel so bad bc we’re already hiring 4 new designers and #i dont want 2 cause more trouble ad suddenly leave... ALSO im going abtoad next spring so i wouldnt b able 2 stay anyways for anything u kno #and idk how thats gonna fuck things up and AHHHH my life is fallin apart. but i dont know what to do. i need 2 talk 2 * and * abt this LOL #purrs

[earlyspringtranscendence]

‘i dont hate kids but i dont want 2 hear them in public’ holy fucking shit

#this was from a post but there were long blocks of text i didnt read so i cant rb it #im just like. im stunned truly :/ #and i mean like i dearly hope my stance on this has been clear but if you think its okay to be mean 2 kids or 2 actively hate kids #even if its got sth 2 do w what happened 2 u personally in ur past #please dont follow me anymore i mean i just dont really need that u kno ? #which isnt to say btw that if u HAVE been mean or rude 2 kids bc they did sth u cant deal with like make a lot of noise or whatever #and so maybe u did sth u shouldnt have done but as long as u recognise that and try to better urself then like good obviously #i just dont understand the mentality of 'ppl were mean 2 me when i was a kid so im gonna b mean 2 kids now' #like ?? ppl werent the nicest 2 me when i was a kid and u kno what that makes me want to do ?? GO INTO CHILDCARE #and try my best 2 make sure as many children as possible have at least one nice adult they dont feel threatened by or whatever #like seriously what the fuck ?? #and also back 2 the point of the post im just like wildly confused by 'i dont want 2 hear them in public' #thanks i dont want 2 hear u in public either ? lol ? #and like kids cry and they scream its what they do #babies do it cause they dont know how else 2 communicate and slightly older kids for the same reason sometimes #and if u bring up that like 'but theyre just selfish and wont listen when theyre told they cant have ice cream its so immature' #1. yeah it is thats kinda the point 2. arent u screaming urself cause ur selfish and just dont want kids 2 b in public ? fuck off #anyway. this isnt going anywhere i have shit 2 do but like really seriously kindly fuck off

[not-me-simping-for-blasty]

some thoughts on what living with bakugou would be like:

-he’s weirdly organized. like he remembers where he put everything every time so if ur ever looking for something, most times he’ll just find it for u and it takes like .2 seconds

-will cook meals a large majority of the time, but if u bake sweets he’s an absolue sucker for them.

-if you’re like reALLY allergic to a certain type of bug or plant,, man’s got his eyes pEELED whenever y’all go somewhere together. like lets say, for example, ur allergic to bees. bakugou is blowing bees up left and right and u look at him and ur “no!! stop!!! bees are endangered!!” ,, he looks u dead in the face, like ur stupid or something and says “yeah. because of me. i’m gonna kill all of them.”

- if u have to get in an argument with somebody over the phone, he wants to hear it. like he’ll ask u to put the phone on speaker and he’ll just make mocking, bitchy faces while the other person is speaking. like,, he lets u fight ur own battles, but he wants to be there bullying the other person mercilessly in the background.

-if he doesnt like a song ur playing, he’ll just skip it. won’t ask, wont look at u, he’ll just skip it. borderline dick move tbh

-gets grumpy if u don’t follow his nightly routine on time, but also wont go to sleep without u. like he’ll just stay up and crab at u until u go to bed with him

-likes when u brush his hair for him. like u’ll be brushing yours, totally by urself fine, and he’ll just look at u and clear his throat until u roll ur eyes and beckon him over

-if u get like a bag of junk food or something,, do nOt leave that shit out, bakugou will finish it 10/10 times. he’ll finish it but then look at u and “why the fuck would u even bring that shit in here, huh? u tryin’ to get me out of shape or somethin?” ,, and u look at him like “idk man maybe just dont eat it then.” ,,, the glARE he gives u in response is muRDEROUS //pls this is quite literally the only area he lacks self control dont remind him\\

-has absolutely no regard for neighbors. he yells a lot and if y’all get noise complaints he just glares and 😡💥at the neighbor until they get scared and leave

-he thinks it’s funny to just subtly move things from time to time. like, for example, lets say plates. ,,, so like, u always keep plates on the left side of a certain cabinet, right?? but if he’s putting dishes away and feeling particularly petulant that day, he’ll just put away the plates on the right side instead. man’s then proceeds to smirk and laugh at u every time u open the wrong side of the cabinent from then on with a “jeez, u rlly are a moron, huh? they’re on the right side, remember?” god he’s annoying

-genuinely enjoys going grocery shopping by himself. like idk he just thinks it’s his quiet, personal time, u kno?? and he enjoys doing super-intense meal prep for the week anyways so he’s gotta make sure he gets the right ingredients

-u just hear muffled screaming from time to time. like u’ll be in the kitchen eating breakfast totally calm, and he’s making the bed and all the sudden just a “jesus fucking christ, swear to fuck im gonna blow up this stupid fuckin’ fitted sheet!” (which honestly??? valid. fuck fitted sheets.)

-if he doesn’t want to hang out with the bakusquad but they’re forcing him he’ll text u something like “I love you.” and then ofc ur like “i love u too. but also, u never just say that to me normally?? is something wrong?” and then total radio silence from him for like 20 mins and u get super worried,, and then he just sends u a video of mina or denki being loud with a “Can you get sick or something? I want to come home.” ,, i- 🧍

- isnt going to want a pet,, but if u have, like, a dog already when u move in with him, then it’s going to become bakugou’s dog. if he’s going to have to have a dog than he’s gonna make sure it likes him more than u

-hates doing laundry. will volunteer to do dishes instead 11/10 times

-he doesn’t sing in the shower but 100% plays the drums on the walls or his own stomach fight me on this

-he hates the smell of nail polish/nail polish remover. so if ur painting ur nails he’ll just walk in the room and walk directly out,, quickest way to get alone time

-speaking of alone time- say bye. u’ll get none of it,,, it’s not that he’s constantly on top of u or like talking to u, he just always sorta ends up in whatever room u are. like a cat, pretty much. like he won’t say anything, but if u get up to do something, he gets up and chooses to move his lounging to somewhere nearby

-he likes to scare the shit out of u. just like, rlly juvenile stuff like hiding around corners just to jump out at u. will just stand there and laugh when u scream, and will never, never apologize

-he gets weirdly worked up about hair?? just hates it, thinks it’s disgusting if he sees a stray hair anywhere. even if its his own. like yes it’s gross ig, but he gets so 🤮 about it

-he does house chores unecessarily loudly. like, u watch him and it seems like he’s doing everything totally normally,, but jesus christ why is it so loud

-gets bitchy around christmas if u decorate without him. he will complain the eNTIRE time if he does have to decorate, but will throw an even bigger fit if u dare to do it without him

-he gets mad if people drive too fast in ur neighborhood/ past ur apartment complex. like, y’all have 0 (zero!) kids, but he’s still up at the window like “Slow the fuck down, asshole! Why the hell doesn’t anyone have any common fuckin’ sense around here? That’s dangerous, you piece of shit!”

-if u sing around the house a lot, it’s the only habit of urs he’ll have absolutely nothing to say about. like it doesn’t even matter if ur a good singer or not, he just likes when he can hear u in the house even if ur not in the same room. he finds it comforting

-bakugou hates having people over to ur place. he thinks of it like his calm-space/safe-haven and it rlly pisses him off when people are there

-on the rare days he doesn’t have to work at all and stays home, mans is a total baby. he just refuses to get up for anything other than bathroom or meals and even then goes straight back to bed. he takes basically a 24 hr nap and expects u to do the same with him he’s so dramatic pls

-will make snarky comments about reality tv shows with u. just the bitchiest shit possible bc he enjoys trash talking as an art form, and absolutely does not care who it’s about

-likes to watch u do skincare stuff. he won’t ask questions and will be borderline offended if u offer some to him, but he just likes to watch u do it. man’s thinks of it as like his personal asmr

-hates online shopping. (pls i have absolutely no explanation for this one i just know its true)

-he has a lot of pride in his house so it’s actually rlly well decorated. like, he would never consent to living somewhere busted, lmaooo, so if u dont kno how to decorate he’ll figure it out for the both of u

-u can always tell if he’s falling asleep bc he constantly does that weird full-body jerk. like the one where it feels like ur falling

#bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bnha bakugo katsuki #mha bakugou #bnha fic #katsuki bakugou #bakugou x reader #bakugou x y/n #mha fic

[randombubblegum]

dude what gets me so much abt the otto/grac situation is like there is no way they can pretend she didn’t date his best friend u kno like. had a very similar situation in high school w my best friend and my brother and they only dated for so long bc my brother genuinely was not aware that me and said friend had feelings for each other and she had left me for him and like as soon as my brother found out he broke up w her bc he could tell it was really upsetting me and bc we are very close he was like um no fuck that she’s not as important and i just don’t know how otto like stays w her bc there’s no way he wouldn’t know it was upsetting to awsten right and truly i think otto is a good person and hate sympathizing w awsten lol but like. how the fuck is that situation still going on it completely ruined me and my friends friendship bc i was like you knew this was fucking me up and didn’t do anything to stop it and we haven’t talked since then even tho we were super close and i was in love w her like ????? i need to sit them both down and have like group therapy also sorry this message is so long

YEAH yep! yes! exactly! it shouldnt even be a QUESTION in normal peoples minds of “is it bad to fuck and then date your best friends ex behind their back immediately after they break up?” like anyone with a basic grasp of like. human decency. basic social norms. should KNOW thats fucked up and wrong. and youre not the first person ive talked to or had tell me their story of something like this happening and guess what? it ALWAYS ruins the friendship because its an insane and rancid thing to do!!!!!!!! lifelong friendships have been ended over this!!!!! so i really dont know how not only they but everyone around them just moved on and pretends its normal. like how the hell did everyone just go “okay thats fine” and let it happen. what is WRONG with this band i need to study their brains under a microscope

#mail time! #neg

[snowmiku]

im really sad and upset and i brought this upon myself and i hate it so much and hhhhhhhhhhhhh

#irl.txt #this is SO text heavy im so sorry im literally just crying and spilling out my thoughts im sorry #this is just me being Emo ughguhg #u kno im so bad! with this moving on process ! bc im ok for DAYS but ukno i still. Think about It it never leaves me #but i can be okay! i wont cry i wont. dwell on it i dont Want it again #but. ugh today has been a set back because i woke up AGAIN thinking about. what happened. and her. and #i hate it. i hate it so much bc my brain Wouldnt stop thinking about it and so i started writing about it so it was thinking about it More #n then the entire day was wasted with thinking about Her and Us and What Happened And why did she leave me again ?? oh yeah bc im a piece of #shit and it was all my fault and she left me and i have No One and ill always have no one #and i found. UGH im literalyl doing this as punishment at this point and ik its! wrong to do this! #but i found my old google docs of. her. of when we were actually Together Together and i can Feel how in love i was and i fuKCING HATE IT #i hate how im never going to feel like that again i hate how im never going to have anyone again i hate how im thinking of her i hate how #shes taking over my life because of what. fucking. happened. #i hate knowing ! i hate thinking ! i hate wanting ! #her her her thats all i think about her her her it never leaves me her her her i just want Her back #i just want her. fucking back. #and thats So emo to say thats so fucking emo to say like stop crying over a girl rip youve been crying over her for months #almost a year! u cant move on from her! bc u know that she was suppose to be with u ur entire life! bc she was ur soulmate! and ur never #going to find another person like her ripley ur so fucking stupid u Messed up ur entire life rip you did thsi u did this you fucking did thi #its not even because i loved her! she was my best friend! she was my best friend she was my best friend #yeha i loved her. i loved her i needed her ineeded her to function and i cant function and i cant . do this anymore!!!!!!!! #i just Want her back or at least . i want to fucking feel something again. but i cant move on and it sucks and i dont know what to do.

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 17]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, intercrural sex, lots ‘o teasing, dirty talk/the absolute tiniest bit of degradation, some cum play/cum eating, seungcheol having a kink for thighs/thigh highs 😳😗 welcome to the weekend my bbys!! I hope yall are having a good day/night!! Also again, another inbox roundup tomorrow(also an updates post)!! 💕 Might be a regular thing for the next 4-ish weeks ‘cause I have been so busy this month 😭 and I can’t believe there’s only 3 more chapters of CB left!! 😭😭 some bangers on the way tho LMAO 🤣 As always, thank you so much for the love and support!!💕💕 Have a great rest of your weekend and enjoy ch 17![cheol voice] seventeen right here 😌💕🍒 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - x - x - x

Seungcheol doubles over in laughter, tears blurring his vision as his laughs turn into quiet wheezes.

“God, this is so embarrassing.” Seokmin mutters; cheeks burning crimson when he glances over to Jeongguk who shrugs back. “Maybe I really should quit…”

Jeongguk scoffs jokingly, “Maybe you shouldn’t have lied. No offense, but all the staff here probably have at least seen her before and you just so happened to lie to her actual boyfriend. That’s honestly really lucky if you ask me! You should buy a lotto ticket!” Seokmin whines back, shifting on his heels as he watches Seungcheol start to wipe the tears away.

“Hyung, can you please take this Edible Arrangements I got you so I can go ask Namjoon-hyung to fire me?” This only causes Seungcheol to laugh harder and this time, Jeongguk can’t help the giggle that bubbles past his tightly pursed lips.

“Please!” Seokmin begs, shaking the basket of skewered fruit at the older male. “I heard the diner across down is still hiring, I can still save the rest of my dignity if I leave now!”

Seungcheol shakes his head, eyelashes wet with tears when he takes the gift from Seokmin’s hands to place it on the countertop of the concession stand. “Hate to break it to you but she works there and one of the staff is also one of her regulars so I think your best bet is workin’ here. Embarrassment and all.”

“So, okay… But you’re not mad?”

Jeongguk peels the cellophane off of the basketed fruit, looking to Seungcheol for permission before he takes a skewer. “Go ahead. And no, I’m not mad. If anything I should apologize too, I shouldn’t have let you keep lying when I already knew. But also, to be fair, we weren’t really… official ‘til recently.” Seungcheol shoots the younger male a sheepish smile; cheeks a pretty pink of their own. “And it’s kinda been nice meeting you guys too. It’s great to know you’re not all weirdos.”

Seokmin laughs lightly, breathing a sigh of relief. “Okay, cool, ‘cause this place pays really well and I’d hate to stop working here and you guys are a lot cooler than the coworkers I had before.” He rolls his eyes jokingly, leaning up against the countertop as he picks off a strawberry from the basket.

“Don’t even get me started on this coworker I had at the last place. His name was Mingyu, I think? Suuuuuch a kissass. I had to move to manning the register at all times just so I could avoid him pickin’ his nose in the backroom and then pretending like he was doin’ shit.”

“Hey, Seungcheol-hyung?”

Seokmin’s inquisitive voice has Seungcheol turning; setting the rollerskates in his hand down onto the bench. “Yeah?”

“Do you think it’s weird that we’re, like, watching your girlfriend?” He tilts his head in thought, eyes blinking up to the ceiling. “I don’t want to overstep or something if it’s weird, y’know? I’ve been thinking about what Jeongguk said earlier...”

Seungcheol grins back at him, eyes twinking. He’d also thought about that before too, when he first found out that Jeongguk had also watched your streams.

“I don’t really mind ‘cause at the end of the day, it’s you watching me fucking my girlfriend.”

“Well, I’m glad he took it… well?” You giggle, tugging the white thigh high up your leg.

Seungcheol pulls off his shirt as he sits on the edge of the bed; tossing the wrinkled material onto the floor as he laughs under his breath.

“He did give me an Edible Arrangements while I laughed so hard I cried. I think he’s learned his lesson.”

xcaliburDK: good news, i didnt quit!!

chwenon: i was gonna say

chwenon: u literally started like last week

universe_WZ has donated $75

angelhan has donated $75

therealchan99 has donated $50

therealchan99: u look rly pretty in ur white set!!!

“Aww, thank you! It’s one of my favorites~ And ‘xcaliburDK’, I’m glad you didn’t quit!” You wink at the camera, giggling softly in Seungcheol’s lap as he peppers kisses along your shoulder.

A shiver runs up your spine at his gentle touches and you easily melt under his soft kisses and roaming fingertips. He ghosts them across your breasts, teasing you through the thin lace as you mewl and squirm against his cock that’s pressed firm against your ass. “A-ah, S--Seungcheol…”

tangerine_kwan: she looks so happy now that she can call ur name out lol

alphagyu97: now i cant pretend its me tho

gentleman_josh95: i mean i guess but are u even built like him

alphagyu97: well

Your body slowly starts to fill with warmth; soft stuttered breaths falling from your lips when he drags his fingers down your torso until they play with the hem of your panties. “M-more… tease me m-more…” He grins against your shoulder; hooking a finger around the waistband of your panties and tugging it away from you before letting it snap against your skin.

“‘Cheol!” Whining, your legs snap shut on impulse as you feel a gush of wetness soaking into your panties.

“Ah, ah, ah, part those legs, princess. Don’t make me have to punish you.”

kitty_junjun: no thats what the shibari stream is for right? Right? 😩

artist8hao: is that really happening bc i want to see it

alphagyu97: u guys should do it and think of it as like a rebrand of the channel ykwim

hoshi_tiger_xx: jdfkjhf like a grand re-opening under new management

therealchan99: what is this, a restaurant?

chwenon: u guys should come up with a new channel name too or sth

Seungcheol manages to read off a few of their comments; committing some to memory knowing that your eyes were still sealed shut as you focused on his soft touches.

He drags his fingers down further, humming when he can already feel how wet you were getting. “Hmm~ Already soaked through your pretty panties, baby~” Your head rolls back against his shoulder, nodding gently as you start to grind against the fingers that he uses to press into your clothed, wet folds.

“F-feels good w-when you, ah, t-tease me…”

Unbeknownst to you, Seungcheol smirks, eyes twinkling at the camera. “You really like it, huh? When I just touch you gently like this. Not enough to get you off but just enough to get you soaking wet until you’re begging for my cock.” He pauses; pressing a soft kiss to your skin. “I wanna try something with you, pretty baby~”

You gulp as you raise your head from his shoulder and he retracts his hands from your body as you shift your body and slightly turn to the side to face him.

Seungcheol’s eyes are blown wide with lust and you can already feel his cock throbbing against your lower back as he smiles dreamily at you.

“I think you’ll like it too.”

A stuttered moan falls from your lips as Seungcheol’s cock slides past your tightly clasped, yet shaky, thighs.

“O-oh, ‘Cheol, this--this is…” The words die on your tongue as your head falls forward and Seungcheol is quick to reprimand you, just as he draws his hips back.

“Baby, I want you to watch yourself on the screen. I want you to see your cute face while I tease your pretty body.” He moans; thrusting between your wet thighs as your hazy eyes peer at the laptop’s screen. Your lips are swollen and your pupils are blown wide when you catch yourself and you can see the head of Seungcheol’s cock only just breaching past your clamped thighs when he thrusts forward.

You let out a guttural moan, eyes rolling to the back of your head when he alternates between thrusting between your thighs and letting his cock slide against your soaked, panty-clad mound. 

He hadn’t bothered to undress you at all, but you didn’t mind. The material of your panties only added onto the pleasure with every drag of his cock against you.  

Seungcheol teases you even more; dragging his hands down to your thigh highs and letting his fingertips play right underneath the hems before pulling the material away from your thighs and letting them snap against your skin, much like he’d done with your panties.

“Ah, fuck, m-more! P-please…” He repeats the action a few more times, playing with the sheer fabric of your thigh highs before he draws his hips back. Except this time, when you expect him to thrust back between your legs, he wraps a hand around his cock instead, guiding himself until the head of his cock is rubbing up against the sheer fabric.

“Fuck, you’d look so pretty with cum all over your pretty thighs. I should cum all over your panties and your white ‘lil thigh highs and get them all soaked. Don’t you think they’d be cute? Sticking to you like a second skin? Translucent ‘n soaked through with my cum?” He laughs under his breath, watching through the laptop screen at the way you bite your lip and furrow your brows at the thought.

“I--I want t-that… I want S--Seungcheol t-to make, ngh, a m-mess…”

angelhan: i kno we say this all the time but can u upload some pics of that later

angelhan has donated $75

universe_WZ: seconded cuz thatd look so fuckin hot

universe_WZ has donated $50

alphagyu97 has donated $75

alphagyu97: fuck, like a lil angel covered in cum

Seungcheol teases you and himself at the same time; rubbing his cock against your fabric-clad thighs. He spreads precum onto the material, licking his lips when it already becomes translucent and sticks to your skin.

He positions his cock back between your thighs once he’s had his fill and quickly finds himself doubling his pace when he sees how wet you’re getting his cock without even having taken your panties off. “God, look at you. I don’t even need to fuck you to get you this wet. You just need to rub your ‘lil cunt against my cock and it’s enough for you, huh? I should make you sit on my lap, rub your pretty ‘lil pussy on my cock ‘til you’re cumming over and over again.”

“Ngh, yes! Fuck, Seungcheol! I--I can feel your c-cock throbbing between my l-legs… Please, please c-cum, mmh, all over my s-skin…”

“That’s right, baby. So fuckin’ desperate to be covered in it too. And always so fuckin’ pretty when you are.”

You let out a whimper as you try to focus on watching yourself just like Seungcheol had asked you to. Your lips are parted in soft breaths and you can’t seem to unfurrow your brows as Seungcheol chases his pleasure behind you.

angelhan: what if

angelhan: seungcheol in thigh highs lmao

universe_WZ: sub.cheol

sleepy_wonu: sub.cheol

universe_WZ: jinx

sleepy_wonu: fuck u 

You lick your lips at the thought; although you knew Seungcheol would have a hard time relinquishing his dominating nature.

But your mind wanders as you continue to think about it; various images of Seungcheol tied up underneath you while you fucked yourself on his cock running through your mind. You let out a shaky moan, to which Seungcheol hums.

“What are you thinkin’ about, princess?”

“Um… ah, n-nothing…” He thrusts between your legs hard, making you jolt forward as you yelp.

“Princess...”

“I--ah! J-just thinking a-about… y-you tied up, ngh, to--to the bed and m-me fuh--fucking myself on your c-cock… ‘n me u-using, mmh, my toys o-on you...” Seungcheol smirks, pulling his cock from between your shaky thighs as he slightly pushes you over until you're on your back.

He spreads your legs as you look up at him and he’s quick to wrap a hand around his cock as he jerks himself off above you. “Oh, I bet you’d love that, wouldn’t you? I bet you’d be so cute trying to be the domme for a night.” Seungcheol teases.

You find yourself clenching around emptiness as you think of the possibilities. You definitely wanted to try it if Seungcheol was willing.

“Fuck, but first, gonna cover your pretty body with my cum.” He groans; thrusting up into his palm as he chases his high.

“C-cum all over me, Seungcheol…”

The donations and comments sound off in the back as you maintain eye contact with Seungcheol who’s brows furrow when he starts to feel himself about to cum. He scoots back a little; growling when his cock throbs in his grasp and he cums all over your, already, soaked panties.

You let out a moan when rivulets of cum hit your lower abdomen and you’re quick to reach down and scoop some up to bring to your mouth, smearing the warm substance against your puckered lips before licking it off. Whimpering, you dip your fingers into your mouth; this time pretending they were Seungcheol’s instead of your own.

He guides his cock until the head is aimed at your thighs; streaks of cum settling into the sheer material of your thigh highs. “God, you’re so damn pretty...” Groaning, he milks his cock for every drop of cum before he’s stopping to catch his breath.

“You came so much but I didn’t cum yet, ‘Cheol~” Pouting, you turn your head to the side to face the camera. “Tell him he has to make me cum now~”

kitty_junjun: well u heard the lady!!

hoshi_tiger_xx: make her cum and let her cream her cute lil panties even more

therealchan99: oh fuck yeah, get her off without fucking her cute cunt

Seungcheol leans over your body until the two of you are almost face to face, eyes twinkling with playfulness when you feel his sticky hand playing with your thigh highs again.

“D’you hear that? Let’s give them what they want, baby.”

The sounds of donations and comments once again get lost as Seungcheol finds himself on his knees between your legs.

“Ready?”

When you slide into bed after your camshow’s ended and Seungcheol has properly taken care of you, he’s quick to tug you into his chest. 

The two of you let out soft sighs at the warmth that envelopes you both as you finally start to settle in for the night.

After a few minutes, Seungcheol clears his throat, catching you just before you drift off to sleep.

“This is so random but have you considered, I dunno, rebranding your channel… with me? I was thinking about it and kinda wanted your opinion...”

You blink up curiously at him, urging him to continue. “I mean, yeah, of course! I don’t really know where to start though since it’s always just been me. And to be honest, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to either so I never brought it up.” You snuggle into his warmth, yawning as the sleep threatens to take over.

“But let’s talk about it later, ‘cause ‘m tired now, ‘Cheol. You really didn’t have to make me cum twice…” You mumble, “I can still feel my legs shaking...”

His soft laugh reverberates in your chest and he’s quick to press a kiss against your hair as he tugs you in closer.

“It’s ‘cause I like to spoil you. And okay. I’ll remind you when you’re more conscious.”

“G’night, ‘Cheol...”

“Goodnight, baby.” 

#cherrybomb!cheol #seungcheol smut #scoups smut #seventeen smut #svt smut #seungcheol scenarios #seungcheol imagines #scoups imagines #scoups scenarios #scoups fic #seungcheol fic #seventeen scenarios #seventeen imagines #svt imagines #svt scenarios #svt fic #scoups #seungcheol

[darlington-v]

awesamdude, ranboo and badboyhalo. i need to know what everyone’s favorite piece of cursed lore is

Awesamdude: who do you think is the best builder on the SMP?

ok these are probably typical answers but like... honestly foolish, sam, and tubbo. snowchester is like... really pretty and nice PLUS the bee n bee or whatever is REALLY nice i really like that build. i also really like the big innit hotel! and foolish is foolish like im obsessed with all the kinoko kingdom builds.

Ranboo: who do you think are the best actors on the dream smp?

honestly? schlatt, ranboo, tubbo, and dream. i think dream may seem a little over the top sometimes but i think its because his role is pretty over the top. like sometimes his shit feels like he's overacting but i think sometimes its more so just that... maybe not everyone is giving the same amount of emotion??? thats not always either tho like theres a lot of scenes that feel level and smooth to me that he's delivered some bangers, but just... a lot of emotions he's delivered have made me go like OOOHHH SHIT.

tubbo is also like a SUPER underrated actor on the dream smp. i think its kind of because new fans like were upset when he initially reacted to tommys death but no one talks about how he literally had a big exhausting stream after and wasn't notified and like... yeah. literally he's delivered like the most banger lines in terms of emotion. like the way he stutters in fear is super good, plus like "hbqlwif" PLUS. ANOTHER LINE FROM THAT STREAM?? NO ONE TALKS ABOUT??? tubbo fucking SCREAMING big q. like he's taking crit after crit and he's like calling for quackity's help. and like... i dont know i just think he's got a lot of good stuff no one ever talks about.

ranboo is up there for me as well! like he gets plenty of praise, but i do think he's an excellent actor when he wants to be. i think he's... repetitive sometimes???? like pretty sure its intentional but theres a point in repetition where its... It's time to move on. HOWEVER THIS IS MORE SO A CRITIQUE OF HIS IMPROV NOT HIS ACTING. MOVING ON. ranboo is always like... really good at this like very high emotion scenes and it's always been pretty satisfying to watch!!! a lot of the lore where he then later comes in and he's like yeah i cried! thats... usually my favorite. like not because he cried but it's more so like no yeah that makes sense because that was a heavy scene! like him screaming "put me in the prison, sam" is one of my favorite scenes but he definitely has like a lot more that i'm... obsessed with. and like... yeah looking at it from an outside point of view, sometimes it's like kinda funny bc its edgy emotion and dialogue for... a minecraft rp but like damn i dont give a fuck like same goes for dream. like they give these very over the top performances but its not in this.... weird... unenjoyable way for me. i think they can get across these like... incredibly sincere and raw emotions sometimes and it's really cool! and funny because it's minecraft.

NOW... SCHLATT??? LIKE IDK MAN JUST... SCHLATT. END ESSAY. no but really i think like... the motherfucker is SO good at acting!!! like his inauguration speech? dude. holy fucking SHIT dude. like he delivered ALL of his lines on the smp EXTRAORDINARILY well. like idk its hard to elaborate bc it feels like common sense i guess its just MMMM SCHLATT'S ACTING MAN. HE'S SO GOOD.

BBH: what piece of cursed lore is your favorite

i answered this already but ik u kno that but like i said its probably the fridge lore plus anyhting related to mexican dream! i just think its funny. i hate sally and fundy lore tho. its the owrst cursed. like i dont actually hate it like its fine but I Hate It you know?

THANKS FOR THE ASK!! LATE RESPONSE BUT YEAH!

#asks #ask game #warped-m0ss

[yuzenji-archive]

Can you please do hcs of atsumu, sakusa, ushiwaka and osamu with a really small and timid s/o? they really dislike crowds or anything that makes them feel unsafe and one day, they accidentally let go of their hand and when they went to find them, they get hit on by men + fluffy ending pls I hope this wasn't too much >~

tbh i relate omg im super short and i hate crowds so much but the only exception is if im in disneyland or universal studios (fuck it im gonna write a scenario where u and a haikyuu bebe go to an amusement park) ;; otherwise i’ll end up crying :< and no no omg it wasnt too much at all!!! thank u so so much for this request

ATSUMU —

aware that ur timid and dont like crowded places so whenever he plans dates its usually in a place that doesnt have a lot of crowds and stuff so hes very much aware of that

but when the chances lands on a crowded place atsumu’s senses are just SHARP

he doesnt EVER let u out of his sight and he rarely lets go of ur hand

hes just scared of what would happen to u if ur not near him or if hes not holding u u know

then this one day,, just had to come around

u and atsumu basically got squished in the middle of the ever so busy tokyo and he accidentally let go of ur hand and the panic just

STRIKES HIM

and he didnt even hear u call for him so he doesnt have any fuckin idea of where u went so homie is swimming thru the sea of people and calling ur name and is extremely stressed

like oh my god my smol and shy and timid baby is lost where tf aRE U

he found u where u originally started and u were partially surrounded by boys who are obviously from harajuku LMAO

they were just towering over u and being very weird and atsumu fuckin sped walk to where u are and shoving people around to get to u

“JESUS i thought i fucking lost u i was panicking back there”

“hey back off we got them first”

“hey why dont u shut up and leave my partner alone?” he really has no shame knowing this bitch isnt even from tokyo

he apologizes profusely for even not holding ur hand tight enough and hes just extremely guilty :^(

OSAMU —

his calm nature kinda just reminds me that he probably doesnt like crowded places either

but he asked if u wanted to go to fuji-q with him and u said sure why not bc ya kno what would be the harm of it

osamu picked the worst date and it was partially crowded and now ur like “oh great”

the roller coasters were scaring u and theres a haunted house so that would be mf fun amirite

osamu promised that he would never let u go if yall went to the haunted house and u trust him so yall go 😐

there were a couple sets of people after u and it just so happened that this one couple screams every time somebody breathes like ??

this one jumpscare scared the shit out of them and they ran past u and osamu and ended up taking osamu with them along the way and u were left alone

it was dark and scary and u feel like u were going to die inside and osamu was panicking silently and quietly but really his mind was absolute chaos

even if its dark hes trying to find a way to find u by walking in the wrong direction of the entire house

u ended up ducking behind one of the counters in the house and u just sat there waiting for osamu while the panic just grows bigger and bigger in ur chest

eventually his eyes adjust to the dark and hes checking EVERYTHING and i mean every single corner of the whole thing and hes asking the staff for help

they did not find u but osamu heard tiny sniffles and he found u just )); head buried on ur forearm bc uve been stuck there for a while

“oh baby im so sorry-”

“osamu..” u hugged him so tightly and it broke his heart seeing u like that omg :^(

throughout the day he only ever kept u super close to him ): if he could say he developed some sort of paranoia bc of that, he would

WAKATOSHI —

he likes going outside and stuff !! especially the park he likes the park but he likes it even better when ur with him <33 ik super cheesy

so new years came along and he messaged u asking if u wanted to go to the temple with him for new blessings and good luck for the year

u kept in mind that there will be a ton of people there but it eases ur mind a little knowing wakatoshi is with u and u know he’ll just stick by u the entire day

yeah well slight inconvenience when he went to go get a little snack and this little charm thingies for u, he came back and u poofed!

he doesnt think much of it but he starts looking for u while holding the charms in his hand

when he does find u, ur expression was uncomfortable bc this dude was pushing himself onto u and he just

marches right up to him and yall know this a big bitch so he just glares at the guy tbh trash talking wakatoshi would never work

he’d apologize for not taking u with him and the second he hands u the charm thingies ur smile when u see it just warms his heart so much

he thinks ur the best lucky charm in his life <33

SAKUSA —

imma keep it real simple here

but u will never catch this bitch in a crowded place like ever

#user:anon #riza:answers #[inarizaki:hcs] #[itachiyama:hcs] #[shiratorizawa:hcs] #[atsumu:soft] #[osamu:soft] #[wakatoshi:soft] #[sakusa:soft] #haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu!! #haikyuu blurbs #haikyuu x reader #atsumu miya #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu x reader #osamu miya #osamu miya x reader #osamu x reader #sakusa kiyoomi #sakusa kiyoomi x reader #sakusa x reader #wakatoshi ushijima x reader #wakatoshi ushijima #ushijima x reader #wakatoshi x reader

[bladekindeyewear]

HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-12-25

I’m not going to spend time BLOGGING an upd8 on Christmas morning!

...yes I am who the fuck am I kidding.  (Bonus stuff and Hiveswap are still well on hold though.)

So are we gonna follow up on the main ship?  Probably not, right, with that perfect Karkat point to cut away, right?  We’re just going to leave Roxy’s question hanging, as well as makeouts etiquette, and leave while having seen a COUPLE FRAMES of non-possessed canon Jade with only whatever fun fanart was inspired across the internet by the moment to tide us over????

Yeah, probably.

Ugh, more Dirk.  I guess it’s overdue.  :(

> CHAPTER 16. Welcome to my Secret Lair

Oh huh, I guess not?  So... Jane’s, or Rose and Kanaya’s?

Karkat stays for longer than John thought he would. They talk a bit, but mostly they are quiet. Eventually, Karkat gets called away on yet more important war business, leaving John with one final touch on the shoulder. John leans into it in response, though he’s a bit ashamed of chasing down a sliver of physical affection so soon after obliterating Karkat’s evening like he had.

Pretty much, yeah.  Can’t blame either of them.

When Karkat is finally gone, John still doesn’t move. It isn’t as though he has nowhere else to go, since there are quite a few places he might attempt to make himself useful, for better or for worse.

You’re still abandoning the task that was explicitly yours to protect your literal kid and his friends, but, oh well.  Low-point.  Dave dead, house dead, broke news, I get it.

He just doesn’t feel ready for that yet. The remnants of his house are still smoldering, and he can’t stop staring at them. It would make sense, he thinks, to want to root around through the rubble for anything that’s still intact; some half-charred keepsake to claim as the last thing left that’s still his. But he doesn’t want to do it, and he doesn’t want to think about it. And he still can’t move.

Can’t move.  No Breath huh?  What’s going to get him to, then?

> (==>)

Oh boy, that might help.  XD  She’s pretty good at that.

> (==>)

Still with the waistline gap.  And was his phone always yellow like his God-Tier shoes?

ROXY: hey john can u do me a quick solid ROXY: actly idk how quick itll be but its definitely solid ROXY: harry anderson says i just missed u being here but could u skip back on over?

Nice, huh!  No judgment, just a hey-any-chance-you-could-swing-back.  He sort of needs to be needed right now, in a simple, almost everyday non-judgmental way I guess.  (That’s what he NEEDED anyway-- whether he deserved it though is up for debate.)

ROXY: i need help w/smth and yr darling boy is holed up in his room working on some fuckin craft project or other and cant be bothered

YES SEW JOHN A BETTER FITTING FUCKING OUTFIT

ROXY: and now that me and u are freshly on speakin terms again i might as well take advantage of that olive branch and put u to work ROXY: assumin you havent died in an air raid, that is ROXY: which id also be interested in knowin about so if u wld be so kind as to reply instead of leavin me hangin

Heheheh.  Gosh Roxy is always the best.

JOHN: yea yea sorry im here. JOHN: i just had a hard time getting my phone out of these fucking tiny pants.

Hah.

JOHN: and also my house is bombed out so i'm kinda grappling with that. JOHN: but i honestly am not sure how much longer i need to sit around staring at it. trying to align my memories of my youth with whatever is happening right now so JOHN: short version is no i’m not dead, and yeah i can come back over there and help you out. ROXY: oh sweet yr alive and down to do manual labor its a win/win JOHN: see you soon.

Yep!  Pulled away from all the metaphorical, ultra-meaningful bullshit, back to some brass tacks with some easy humor.  Definitely something Roxy can do well.~

> (==>)

EXCUSE ME.  What is that outfit and pose.  Did you--

ROXY: sup ROXY: follow me ROXY: well were just going to my room so i guess technically u know the way JOHN: haha ok.

Did you invite him over for the manual labor of banging you while your son is sewing in the other room

Or maybe the labor is making him a new sibling.  JFC

Is this plan part of why we got the sudden content warning that was mocked or was that mainly for Hiveswap 

John follows, trying to shake the ominous feeling he got from what she’d just said. He’d been in and out of this house a lot in the past few days. Why should this be any different?

I DUNNO JOHN DOES THIS SEEM DIFFERENT TO YOU

> (==>)

Yea this seems like a fucc room.

JOHN: it’s not like i could forget! ROXY: ya i guess u only really saw the living room when you were here the other day but i have changed some stuff up ROXY: done a lil redecoratin here n there

So it’s MORE of a fucc room than previously >__>”

ROXY: may have to do a smidge more if my old bff decides im next on the list for bombing out ROXY: but so far so good

Ah geez.

ROXY: just a coupla exploded cars in the yard from some shenanigans our dear son and his friends were in but u kno it is what it is!!!

Well, that’ll buff out easy.

ROXY: can i get u anything? ROXY: just made some coffee JOHN: no, uh, i’m good.

Of course she has a fancy handled winecoffeeglass  (and the handle does look ridiculous but it’d be too hot to hold otherwise)

Roxy shrugs and swirls her own coffee around in her novelty mug. John looks around. A lot about the room is the same. The family photos, the rug. There’s a lot more cat stuff in there now, though. The bed is new. John feels like he’s about to take a test he hasn’t studied for. He makes himself focus on what she’s saying.

That would be the feeling.

> (==>)

MY GOD.  Roxy is so fucking good at this holy shit

She KNOWS she’s making him squirm and she loves it

JOHN: so uh anyway. JOHN: what was this favor? ROXY: yo why dont u just come rest yr tush for a bit ROXY: take a lil relax next 2 me here JOHN: haha uh. JOHN: roxy i uh. JOHN: im flattered, but i don’t know if that’s really the right step right now. JOHN: don’t get me wrong, everything seems so fucked up right now that when i try to think about what might actually BE the right step, it feels like a huge cartoon question mark might physically manifest over my head. JOHN: but I’m not sure if um rekindling our physical relationship is really the best--

So is Roxy trolling him, about to reveal she wasn’t thinking of sex and was just making things seem sultry?  Or just had “lol jk” as an option-select, maybe.

> (==>)

ROXY: r u kiddin me rn egbert JOHN: i’m not? unless you were, in which case yeah lets say i was also kidding. JOHN: oh my god, i’m sorry, i don’t know why this making me freak out.

OH NOOO NOT THE DISDAAAAIN - CRITICAL HIT D:

ROXY: i remember our past boot knockin with fondness but that is a situation im not interested in revisiting

boot knockin XD

ROXY: look john ROXY: i was trying to be polite about it ROXY: offering u sustenance n rest n all ROXY: but you look like shit ROXY: i just wanted to catch up on the whole heinous war situation were in and maybe check in on e/o before leaping strait to the real n actual nonsexual manual labor favor i have in mind for u JOHN: oh.

Hey, she can’t help looking sexy she’s too good at it.

Is the manual labor moving the crashed cars?  Can’t Roxy pull that off on her own, or... banish the cars to the void or something?  (Oh, but WOULD she want to do it on her own when she can rope in John and bring him down to earth by giving him a useful task?  And admittedly his strength and wallet would make things easier.)

John feels his shoulders unbunch. Of course. Yeah. He’s almost embarrassed by how relieved he feels. So what if his ex wife wanted to hook up? Shouldn’t that be a situation he could navigate? Don’t people like to find solace in human physical connection during dire times? Why did the idea of it make his mind white out in panic more than, say, any number of the traumas he just experienced?

Probably some gender stuff mixed up in there too, June.

He doesn’t know, but he believes Roxy that he must look pretty haggard. He probably feels haggard? Maybe sitting down will feel better.

Just put your feet up yeah

> (==>)

WHAT A CUTE IMAGE

JOHN: sorry. like i said, my "how to react to stuff" meter is completely fucked right now. ROXY: thats fair bud

she’s used to being patient with you don’t worry otherwise you never would’ve gotten this far

ROXY: real fast i do need to do a quick takeback of all that shit i said last time we talked about janey not being literally the most evil person we knew or whatever ROXY: i guess i was hopped up on arguin or somethin since that was before we hit our conversational vibe bc of course u were right and i shoulda listened

Ouch.  Yeah, we saw just lately just how far off the deep end she was.  (Where was that funny upd8 reaction art summarizing the bit where Kanaya was holding Tavros hostage and Jane was transparently debating “hmm do I let my son die?” and Kanaya and Tavros were just looking at each-other flat-mouthed nervous?  I REALLY wanted to share that but I don’t usually want to reblog or put most stuff HS^2 not under a read-more, for spoiler purposes, usually.)

ROXY: im just glad ur ok ROXY: or like alive JOHN: yeah, jury's still out on "ok" but, you know. ROXY: ya ROXY: u said ur house is gone?? JOHN: yep. JOHN: completely. ROXY: jeez ROXY: i would ask how ur feelin but like the answer 2 that has got 2b "prtty bad"

Talk it ouuuut~~  get those feels out there and articulated john

JOHN: yeah. JOHN: i mean. JOHN: no? JOHN: it’s weird. JOHN: it feels like it should be a bigger deal, I guess? JOHN: like it’s my HOUSE. JOHN: but mostly it always felt like my dad’s house? JOHN: and when i started living there after i moved out of here, it was like i crammed myself back into whatever was left of my kid self? JOHN: and it didn’t feel good, but it at least was familiar, you know? JOHN: like living there let me feel closer to my dad, trying to be like the way i remember him, or like how i remember him wanting me to be, or something? JOHN: and i didn’t realize how much i hated doing that until i saw it all go up in flames. JOHN: so i guess i could have used my powers to stop the fire and save whatever was left of the place, but i couldn’t bring myself to do it. JOHN: like some fucked up part of me was glad i got there too late? JOHN: so i just sat there, watching, trying to figure out why watching my house burn down felt like i was being released from prison. JOHN: and even now i keep trying to explain it away, as though it’s because of how fucked up everything else is that it made me feel good. JOHN: but that’s just bullshit. JOHN: it DID feel good. JOHN: i DO feel free. JOHN: sorry.

I was kind of saying some Breath/Blood stuff at the time of him losing his last tie to his stubborn sticking-to-his-kid-self bit?  Except now we’re mixing it in with June Egbert and his gender-identity questions too.

ROXY: no need 2 apologize ROXY: we just delved in2 my whole gender thing last time so it seems fine for u to have a turn JOHN: i didn’t say it was a gender thing.

Oh shit

ROXY: well no i just meant like i did some sharing ROXY: like referrin 2 the topic i brought up when we chatted last ROXY: but like now that u mention it ROXY: *meaningful pause* JOHN: … JOHN: i JOHN: ROXY: lol well we can move on 2 the favor part if youd rather ROXY: stick a lil pin in that topic n come back 2 it when u have had sleep

Are you just INCREDIBLY incisive Roxy or have you and John talked about this before?

ROXY: like i said the other day its not like this shits figureoutable in 1 sitting anyways JOHN: yeah... ROXY: sooooooo ROXY: movin on

It’s just fine for Roxy to slow-roll this yeah, if she’s going to pry open that door a little

ROXY: dont be mad but theres a part of the house u didnt know abt the whole time u lived here JOHN: what? ROXY: yea ROXY: i got a secret lair ROXY: for my sciences

OH FUCK YES SCIENCE LAB, of COURSE Roxy would want a cool science lab basement because she always wants a cool science lab basement

ROXY: and i get to it via a transportalizer underneath our bed ROXY: which is 2 heavy 2 move by my lonesome so i just needed to borrow some o your aforementioned powers of wind

Okay no.  Wait.  What the fuck?

First of all, as funny and MSPaintAdventures-y as furniture being in the way of things is, why would you block it with a bed too heavy to move, but,

Second of all, more importantly, how is a GOD-TIER ROXY not strong enough to lift a heavy bed?!?!?!?  Either she’s lying to get John involved in things or this is a gendered cop-out because these characters are superheroes at the TOP of their echeladders, given obnoxiously powerful video-game strength and athletics only to then have ascended into DEITIES.  God-Tier Roxy could probably have lifted a bed like that when she was SEVENTEEN!  And now she’s an ADULT, out-of-shape or otherwise!  If this were a whole CAR I might be willing to handwave it, but just a heavy BED?!?  And none of the GUYS are going to have this much trouble lifting a bed like this, are they??  This just feels like following classic cartoony gender tropes in the complete absence of these characters’ super powers, what the fuck, and also Roxy if you didn’t make it Transportalizer-only access you could have given it an entrance you could phase through with your fancy powers to get to.  FUCK.

This feels stupid.

ROXY: so if u dont mind woosh away JOHN: uh ok, well... JOHN: a secret science lair, sure, i can deal with that. JOHN: why not! JOHN: it doesn’t work out great when i do the windy thing indoors, though. ROXY: aight then no wind bending just use your mangrit

Roxy flexes, the corner of her mouth pulled up into a familiar grin. John feels his guts, so recently calmed, twist up into knots again. Her eyebrows shoot up and the smile loosens. He must have shown something on his face.

You’re already THIS sensitive about gendertalk?

ROXY: ok or just like push when i push ROXY: we both got sick muscles ROXY: no other adjectives necessary JOHN: yeah ok. ROXY: on 3?

Please, please reinforce the idea that they both have sick strength, because they fucking do and the idea that Roxy actually a hundred percent NEEDED John to do this is BS.

> (==>)

JOHN: holy shit? ROXY: sorry to lop yet another huge scoop onto ur lil brains ice cream revelation sundae JOHN: so wait, if this thing's always been under the bed, how’d you get down here before without me? ROXY: well thats neither here nor there john JOHN: i mean it is kinda. Here. ROXY: fine ok checkmate ROXY: i dont ACTUALLY need ur nerdgrit for this escapade ROXY: like im sorry but i said it ROXY: i mostly just wanted to see you and show u wats down here

THANK FUCKING CHRIST.

If that wasn’t actually just a lie to get him involved I was going to stay SO mad.  Of COURSE Roxy can move a fucking BED no matter how heavy it is.  OF COURSE.

ROXY: and also uve been ~sent for~ JOHN: ok but like ROXY: john i am inviting u 2 my inner sanctum ROXY: i am literally bringing out the word "sanctum" in case u werent already clued in 2 how cool this is ROXY: so do u wanna go into my secret lair or wat JOHN: yeah!? JOHN: yes? i guess? ROXY: aight good

Yes John of course you want to stop fighting it

ROXY: then as they told me in the hospital before lil h a was born ROXY: just push

eyeroll, but yeah, of course

> (==>)

Oh cool, sprite form version of her loungewear.

> (==>)

Sorry for my compulsion to post every full-frame image of Roxy in this awesome outfi-WERE YOU KEEPING CALLIOPE UNDER YOUR BED THIS WHOLE TIME?!?????

That’s like... almost a fucking metaphor isn’t it????  For the relationship you preferred in the other timeline and possibly THIS one TOO or

ROXY: hey callieee i got him ROXY: o damn john sorry i shoulda also told u callies here weve been hangin out again ROXY: 1 more freak for ur bean

Oh huh, so this isn’t an always thing.  And these two can get close in more than one timeline where it would’ve worked out nicely.  :)

JOHN: oh it's ok, my bean feels pretty well adjusted to freakage at this point so keep them coming if you like! ROXY: k cool i will JOHN: do i get to know what that big thing under the sheet is? ROXY: hmmmmmm no JOHN: oh ok. JOHN: are you sure? i mean, it seems like a pretty prominent feature of the room. JOHN: space. JOHN: wherever we are. ROXY: and a totally mysterious n COMPLETELY inconspicuous feature it will have to remain for now ROXY: we r kinda in a hurry here fyi ROXY: and by that i mean ROXY: we are in precisely the amount of hurry that means im excused from having to a that specific q rn JOHN: right, sorry. JOHN: i will pay no attention to the object behind the curtain. ROXY: u catch on fast egbert ROXY: anyway theres more cool info coming so just follow me

I don’t have any big theories.  Is it just the Hiveswap device or something?  If Calliope helped with it it’d help explain the Cherubic theme.

> (==>)

JOHN: so... this is all downstairs? JOHN: it seems like you had a lot of work done. ROXY: well no not x actly ROXY: were in the old meteor JOHN: under the house??? ROXY: ok so ROXY: in hindsight it may have been a bit misleading 2 say like ROXY: "downstairs" ROXY: in reference to a place which is hells of buried underground and may not actually be literally under the house ROXY: but there is no time to explain all that rn john so instead im going to refer u to my adorable little green friend here CALLIOPE: #U_U# ROXY: (hehe) CALLIOPE: *AHEM* CALLIOPE: hi john! CALLIOPE: long time no see. ^u^

Cherubs just really like dark cavelike places full of weird tech don’t they.

> (==>)

THEY’RE SO CUTE

JOHN: oh, uh. hey callie! JOHN: it sure has been a while huh. JOHN: now that i think about it, the last time the three of us hung out like this... CALLIOPE: was when i was aggressively third wheeling yoUr prenUptial coUrtship? CALLIOPE: if yoU dont mind, john, i'd rather not rehash that period of oUr lives. CALLIOPE: it was more than a little painfUl for me. JOHN: oh. JOHN: god, jeez, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to-- CALLIOPE: hee hee john i am only pUlling yoUr leg, don't worry. CALLIOPE: if anything i was personally a little thrilled with how things shook oUt in that respect. CALLIOPE: imagine, if yoU will, a yoUng cherUb raised in solitUde, whose only solace was the convolUted and tUmUltUoUs romantic schemata she projected onto her only friends from another Universe. CALLIOPE: and then fUrther imagine that this yoUng cherUb, throUgh varioUs even *more* convolUted contrivances, ended Up in the company of those selfsafe friends as an eqUal participant in their sphere of social discoUrse! CALLIOPE: it is a joy the like of which yoU possibly cannot fathom. u_u

Reinforcing that things turning out this way was in fact the FANTASY that Calliope was writing over in the Canon timeline.  Just, heavily, HEAVILY implied that the Candy timeline is -- or at least originated as -- Calliope’s fanfiction as a Muse of Space, and its competition for audience interest with canon is the essential conflict between alt!Calliope and Dirk (or Dirk and Andrew Hussie).

CALLIOPE: so to pUt it simply, getting to experience sUch emotional drama myself was an impossibly enriching experience. CALLIOPE: possibly a first for my species! CALLIOPE: it's actUally qUite interesting, if yoU ROXY: *nudge* CALLIOPE: oh, right. yes. i'm getting a little carried away, haha. CALLIOPE: argh, i'm sorry, this is not how i planned to begin this vital conversation.

Vital conversation?  What sorta truth-bombs are coming?

CALLIOPE: but to sUmmarise, what i was trying to say is: CALLIOPE: don't beat yourself Up aboUt it john. CALLIOPE: besides, hUman divorces are even more fascinating than i had ever imagined, and being able to witness yoUrs in motion was an honoUr. CALLIOPE: so i consider Us aboUt even at this point. JOHN: hahaha!!! JOHN: okay, well that's good to know! CALLIOPE: ^u^

Holy SHIT that was savage!  And we’ll NEVER know whether or not she really intended it so savagely, either.~

JOHN: so um... JOHN: i hear that there's this big secret thing you wanna tell me about? CALLIOPE: oh right, yes of course! CALLIOPE: let me jUst say first of all how thrilled i am that yoU're on board. CALLIOPE: i wasn't sUre if yoUr natUral inclinations woUld have preclUded yoUr coming to such a place as this, and yet here yoU are. CALLIOPE: this whole endeavoUr will be *so* mUch easier with yoUr help.

Uh oh.

Hopefully babies aren’t involved.

JOHN: oh! well, shucks. JOHN: not really sure what that means but i'm just glad to be of use somewhere, haha. JOHN: which, speaking of somewhere, CALLIOPE: ah right, right. yoU're probably a little cUrioUs as to where the dickens we are. CALLIOPE: how much do yoU know aboUt black holes? JOHN: um... like, the big space things? CALLIOPE: they aren't always big actUally, and in fact their relative smallness is practically their defining qUality. JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: bUt okay i think we are on the same page. CALLIOPE: so, what if i told yoU that we are inside of a black hole right now.

Oh dear, we’re getting into the canon/noncanon divide?

JOHN: um... JOHN: like, HERE? JOHN: we just transportalized into a black hole? CALLIOPE: no, i mean, what if oUr whole WORLD was inside a black hole. JOHN: ok.

Yeah, that’s gonna be John’s reaction.  “ok.”  Pretty much inevitable.

CALLIOPE: earth c, or at least oUr version of it, has, from the moment we crossed the victory threshold, been inside a black hole. JOHN: ok. CALLIOPE: and not just any black hole, bUt the very black hole in which the green sUn Ultimately met its demise, allowing oUr victory in the first instance! JOHN: huh! ROXY: ("huh!") ROXY: (rofl my fucking ao egbert) JOHN: (shhhh!)

And Roxy enjoys his non-reaction reactions as much as we do, hehe.

CALLIOPE: bUt, paradoxically, the critical moment which determined its capture within the black hole happened *after* that point. CALLIOPE: i refer of coUrse to yoUr decision not to retUrn to the mediUm and fight my brother. JOHN: wait, wait. JOHN: you mean, the meat and candy thing? JOHN: oh my god. JOHN: you mean i actually DID make a mistake that day. CALLIOPE: well, that's not exactly what that-- JOHN: ugh, i fucking KNEW it! JOHN: i'm so sorry. JOHN: i'm so sorry that i put the earth inside a black hole everyone. ): ROXY: john ROXY: listen ROXY: u have got to get out of this mindset i am begging you JOHN: ):

Yeah shake him out of this shit.

ROXY: your choice literally didnt matter ROXY: the whole thing was symbolic in the first place ROXY: literally symbolic in the case of the picnic i mean come on ROXY: it was just some steak and a plate of candy suckers JOHN: oh. CALLIOPE: i mean, i wouldn't go so far as to say that the meal we shared was unimportant, given the sacred significance of the two options i presented. CALLIOPE: but yes, yoUr choice of snack was infinitely less important than the choice which it presaged. CALLIOPE: and even then, calling it a choice woUld be sorely misleading. CALLIOPE: think of it like a coin flip. CALLIOPE: the series of events that led to Us being trapped beyond the event horizon of an Ubermassive black hole could be considered "tails", while the events which would have occUrred otherwise could be considered "heads". CALLIOPE: since both were possible, and paradox space is the way it is, they actUally both happened. and we jUst "happened" (hee hee) to get tails instead of heads. JOHN: you mean we ended up with the bad possibility. CALLIOPE: not at all! since both possibilities depend on one another's existence, it really doesn't make sense to call them "right" or "wrong". they both just "are". JOHN: o...kay... CALLIOPE: u_u

Yeah, it’s going to take a bit more than that to convince him he didn’t make the “wrong decision”.

CALLIOPE: i realise that this may be a lot to process. CALLIOPE: it's easy to forget that this wasn't obvioUs to everyone from the beginning. CALLIOPE: anyway, the reason i went on this tangent in the first place was to explain that the space we are standing in right now has a special significance, in that it is the location which corresponds to the black hole's singUlarity. JOHN: oh, wow. JOHN: um. JOHN: ok so, sorry if this is a dumb question to ask suddenly, but what does being inside of a black hole actually... mean for us? JOHN: is that bad? JOHN: is it like in movie, um, JOHN: shoot. JOHN: roxy what was that matthew mcconaughey movie from your earth that we watched? ROXY: u mean interstellar JOHN: RIGHT. JOHN: the one with the organ. JOHN: man. i cried at that movie so much. ROXY: lol u can say that again ROXY: iirc at least part of y u got so weepy was the fact that u couldnt believe a version of earth existed where ppl got 2 watch more mcconaughey films than you JOHN: listen. JOHN: i simply don't think you all appreciated the gift you were given. CALLIOPE: i don't believe i'm familiar with this particular film ^u^;; ROXY: oh dont worry cal you didnt miss much JOHN: (gasp)

This is all gold

ROXY: but the important point is that no its not really an interstellar type situation here egbert ROXY: ur not gonna enter a weird time vortex and change the trajectory of a little girls life with the power of love JOHN: aw.

Dammit, now we have to be on the lookout for that possibility.  Or it did sort of already happen more than once to John.  ...Whatever.

CALLIOPE: to go back to your original question, john. CALLIOPE: it's not strictly speaking "bad" for Us to be inside of a black hole, mUch thoUgh that contradicts most of what anyone knows about them. CALLIOPE: of coUrse, if we had fallen into it, that woUld be a whole other kettle of fish. CALLIOPE: the tidal forces woUld have stretched Us all into spaghetti and then ripped us apart! CALLIOPE: bUt the natUre of oUr arrival was more akin to simply "being" here, sUddenly. one moment we were not, and the next moment we were, and somehow always had been. CALLIOPE: in everyday, practical terms, being inside of a black hole has very little bearing on Us. CALLIOPE: i mean, the natUre of space and time is a little finicky in here, bUt for the most part it doesn't seem to be anything too oUt of the ordinary. CALLIOPE: bUt beyond that, it means that we are sealed away from the rest of existence. CALLIOPE: oUr sphere of inflUence is limited to the sphere of the black hole's bounding horizon. CALLIOPE: as far as everyone else is concerned, we might as well not even exist! JOHN: is there no way we could let anyone know that we're in here...? CALLIOPE: almost certainly not!

No?  So this doesn’t have to do with the divide?

CALLIOPE: there are very few ways for anything to escape the kind of predicament that we are in right now. one of them is to be an all-powerfUl being with control over the very fabric of space, with the energy of two Universes at yoUr disposal. CALLIOPE: in which case, escape woUld become rather trivial, if a little Unscientific. JOHN: ok. i am going to assume that we can't just do that. CALLIOPE: yoU've hit the nail on the head, UnfortUnately. U_U CALLIOPE: the method i described was the one employed by my alternate self, who yoU may recall crashed through the event horizon in the body that once belonged to jade harley. CALLIOPE: she departed through a pUnctUre she created in the black hole's surface shortly after consUming my brother, a deed which provided her with the necessary "oomph", and which was frankly rather breathtaking to watch. =u= CALLIOPE: bUt Upon her departUre, the rift closed for good. as far as i can see, there's simply no way for Us to commUnicate with the world oUtside the black hole.

What the heck?  Calliope SAW all this?  Is this her Muse powers at work, letting her observe these things, or was she there?  And John certainly did NOT see ANY of what Calliope just said happen.

CALLIOPE: i woUld certainly be very sUrprised to find oUt that anyone had managed sUch a thing!

So we’re going to find that out if we haven’t already.  Maybe something to do with the way Vrissy just conks out narcoleptically?

JOHN: ...right. JOHN: so... let me just get this straight. JOHN: knowing that we're inside of a black hole... does that actually change anything? JOHN: like, can't we just go on living like normal? CALLIOPE: oh absolUtely not. CALLIOPE: i don't know if yoU've noticed john bUt this world is on the brink of a total cataclysm. JOHN: oh.

Um, what?

CALLIOPE: oUr exclUsion from the overarching coUrse of events which governs all reality means that oUr existence here is liable to dramatic and violent Upheaval. CALLIOPE: to pUt it another way, becaUse nothing in here "matters", we are likely to be sUbjected to things which are a bit bats in the belfry, for no reason other than it's totally insignificant to the wider canon of reality. CALLIOPE: and mUch thoUgh i am personally titillated by some of the conseqUences of this predicament, it is a degrading way for Us to live. u_u JOHN: that's... certainly one way to put it, yeah...

No plot-armor for your entire timeline, I guess, yep.  Outside of canon, we can imagine and write about ANYTHING happening to the characters, or just drop their existence entirely, much like a doomed offshoot timeline.  It’s a plot stability that depended heavily on the threat of Lord English and being trapped in a story, and without it things are bound to see a BIT chaotic (or “degrading” if you view it as subjected to the whims of fanfic writers, certainly).

CALLIOPE: at first, i believed that this was simply necessary. Us playing tails to oUr coUnterparts' heads, the black to their white, and so forth. CALLIOPE: bUt over the years i have come to the conclUsion that this is simply not kosher. ROXY: its total bs is what it is CALLIOPE: right, yes. CALLIOPE: a steaming pile of bUllshite. CALLIOPE: and so we have decided that something needs to be done aboUt it.

Ah fuck.  You’re going to regulate non-canon?  “Canonize” it?  Is the fact that you eventually succeed at whatever it is you’re trying to do part of why we have the story presented to us in this bifurcated structure?

ROXY: this is finally where u come in jegbert ROXY: we gots quests for yous CALLIOPE: hee hee, yes. CALLIOPE: or *a* quest, to be specific. JOHN: oh boy! ROXY: (this fkin nerd i s2g)

Roxy and Calliope setting him on this quest as a Rogue of Void and a Muse of Space feels fitting.

JOHN: i'm not sure how i can go about freeing us from a hellish space prison, but i'm up for giving it a try i guess? JOHN: i have... literally nothing better to be doing at this point. except for maybe hanging out with harry anderson. ROXY: nice save lol

YEAH WE’RE STILL GLOSSING OVER HOW YOU LEFT HIM UNPROTECTED, JERK

ROXY: but u dont need to worry abt busting us outta space jail tbh ROXY: thats not ur problem to fix JOHN: oh. JOHN: i'm... not sure i follow, then. ROXY: i mean yeah ur gonna obvs facilitate it in a sense ROXY: but only by going and busting the person who can actually help us outta normal earth jail CALLIOPE: we need yoU to free vriska from the clUtches of oUr misgUided friend jane, and bring her here, to the singUlarity. ROXY: weve been calling it the plot point CALLIOPE: yes, the plot point is a key part of oUr plan. CALLIOPE: as far as we have been able to sUrmise, the only remaining method for escaping oUr grim confinement depends on leveraging the UniqUe properties of this location to create an event of sUch catalcysmic proportions that it simply cannot be contained within the black hole any more. CALLIOPE: something SO dramatic, so hyper-relevant, that it becomes ontologically impossible for anyone to ignore it. CALLIOPE: for that, we need an individUal of sUfficient narrative cloUt, so to speak. CALLIOPE: and to liberate her, who better than the embodiment of the aspect of freedom itself? CALLIOPE: ... CALLIOPE: phew. okay, i'm finished. CALLIOPE: CALLIOPE: sorry, that took longer than i expected to go throUgh.

..............................

OOooooh, kay.

Whatever this is, it’s going to be really weird and PROBABLY infuriating and/or shippy, and I’m probably not going to like it.  Plus it seems like it’s some sort of inverse belated canonization of some other black-hole-rescue theories I went on about at some point.  Although, related to that link, “aspect of freedom” if anyone wasn’t paying attention!  That’s a (sorta-)canon mention of the purpose of it!

They’re going to attention-wh-- attention-hog themselves out of the black hole so that they’re “considered canon” too, or close enough.  Huh.

ROXY: what r u talking about cals that was great ROXY: i could listen 2 u plotsplain for years CALLIOPE: oh you >u< ROXY: fyi this was why i wanted u to get a move on eggbread ROXY: so callie could have more time 2 infodump ROXY: thats love bitchhhhhh JOHN: hahaha. JOHN: ok, well, i think i understood all that?

Love with who? Callie, John, both?

In reality, John isn’t sure what most of this means. But on balance, it feels okay? He’s gone back and forth about a hundred times in the last week about where his place in everything is, so he might as well ride this out. Plus, the last time a Lalonde kind of told him to do something, he thinks that he chose not to, and look where that got him. And it’s not like he has other plans. He may as well do this! It’s at least going to get him involved in things again, if nothing else. He turns to go, and then hears a sound. It’s the sound of feet and knocking on doors, echoed through stone and digital static.

Oh shit.  Is Andrew trapped behind some fourth walls behind the curtains.

> (==>)

Oh RIGHT also that DEVICE is where they want to bring Vriska.  Are they going to overturn part of canon itself with a super-retcon thus making this timeline unbelievably relevant or--?  Maybe make all the PESTERQUESTS canon or something?!  I don’t know.  Maybe they’re INTENTIONALLY starting the game like Vriska wanted to??????

Guh, this is something so big that I don’t WANT to theorize about it, do I.

JOHN: did you hear that? ROXY: wha ROXY: oh yeah uh ROXY: i may have messaged rose and kan and jade to check on them too ROXY: so its prob onea them showin up ROXY: they don’t need to know bout all this tho ROXY: we got time to chat with them b4 u go get vriska

No, even if it’s a knock at the somehow-top-level-house-even-under-buried-- oh, right, maybe it’s covering in part a monitoring system that looks up there.  But still, part of that sound was DOUBTLESS these two hiding something, all standing in front of the curtain like that.

JOHN: i’ll go stall em. ROXY: thx babe ROXY: oh is it 2 soon for that joke or JOHN: no, weirdly enough, that one’s fine. ROXY: oh good ok see u up there soon!

How is calling your significant other “babe” not cool REGARDLESS of gender?!  Like wasn’t that always cool? --Oh wait is it because they’re not together or... but... guh, I don’t know.

Anyway, see y’all after the holidays at least.

#Homestuck #hs2 #Homestuck Liveblog #upd8 #Homestuck^2 #spoiler #spoilers #Roxy Lalonde #John Egbert #Calliope

[scourge-sympathiser]

prob my hottest take is tht i HATE ivypool. i kno wht its like to be a disregarded child too, but thn again she isnt really disregarded?? to me she just seems unfairly aggressive to dovewing who just wanted to b her sister? she legit went 2 hell bc she hated her sis so much? like girl what did she do to u, dove was willing to give up her powers for her

NOW THIS. THIS IS A HOTTER TAKE

i slightly agree with this, i feel like therez a tendency to villify or glorify characterz & thtz unhelpful... but nyanywayz i think ivypool waz a dipshit child who fucked up and waznt like very justified at all but i also get tht she waz like. a pre teen at most and somtimez u act like a total ass. i totally thought she waz like being super unfair and like didnt get why she waz so mean 2 dove as a kid.... but yeah idk half agree? bcuz yr right but also it makez 4 good drama? i do wish it waz better written.... also tho she waz manipulated by hawkfrost and i think thtz a big thing 2 remember whn talking about how she acted towardz dove & the whole situation

n i dont think she hated her sister it waz just teen lashin out n the such, n i mean. woth the powerz thing. u gotta consider.. Did Ivypool Kno Tht?

#askz #i feel like i gotta say julian i lov u very dearly in these tagz bcuz i feel bad saying anything mean about ivypool djhdsjsjdb

[archiveofidentityconstellations]

cass won't share her cheese nibs and bruce doesn't love me and i think?? that i deserve better??? than this???? i'm moving to alaska where NO ONE CAN TELL ME WHAT TO DO

the sequel to that one trix yogurt fic

I feel like I should tell you that I am MASSIVELY fucked up right now 

 like i am such a garbage heap that oscar the grouch took a look at me and said 

 “fuckk off!! i have standards!” 

anyways

it’s Brimothy, bitch

what is UP mothertrucksrs it is Me i am back here to write a report on the UNBELIEVABLE SHIT I JUST HANDLED.

okay so u know how Gotham city is on crack cocaine all the time. with like some LSD and heroin and never ever any weed except for like who is that pig guy?? nevrm he doesn’t have weeeed but like he is definitely a Pig. what the fuck is his name. what the fuck.

 okay so anyways 

 is it Goyle

 Doyle

 Pigoyle 

 tin foil? lmao

OKAY FUCK anyways the City, who Also May Be My Lover, is in a constant life crisis (which i relate? a Lot) and do you want to know this s h i t

Crocodile

Killer Croc

who Steve Irwin would be v disappointed in

Is climbing

into people’s FUCKING TOILETS

???????????????

THIS ISN’T FLORIDA

THIS IS NEW JERSEY

WE WEAR SHOES IN THE WINTER

WHAT SORT OF FLIP-FLOP WEARING CUCKER DOES HE THINK HE IS

okay so obviously KC is a big guy. a Dude. a whack-o whaler of a Male. a Big Boh. the largest banananana in the pack. he is Big. so he cAn’t fit into most people’s toilets. he can, however, fit into Big People’s toilets (big as in wealthy, not As in Tom Hanks)

so KC (crispy,,,nuggest…i wonder if fried alligator is good—not that im thinking of eating him, though someone really should threaten him with cannibalism, like if you’re going to be a bitch about it then you deserve the same done to you, it’s just manners) is in cahoots and canoodles with Someone Who Shall Not Be Named (not bc i don’t know, I do, that’s how detectives work. it’s my JOB to know, and i was a prodigy) but bc there is a whole other report detailing this person and their movements and its case file #4461 if u don’t believe me, but i ain’t no snitch, but i will say that tonight’s events connect to file #4461 so Dad if you’re reading this you should already have it out bc it’s your JOB

speaking of jobs ding ding here is mine coming round the mountain as she comes bc the apple bottom jeans the boots with the fur will be coming round the mountain when she comes shE’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll be coming round the mountain she’ll b e coming round and getting low low low low low l ow low

It was a crisp October night. The sun was blinking its sleepy lids, setting the ballroom with an incandescent glow. Bruce Wayne strode across the floor, his daughter Cassandra accompanying him. They wore matching expressions that the privileged always wear: guarded, yet hungry. Hungry for what? Probably for the crab cakes just out of reach. Neither of them had an allergy, and Cassandra in particular had a propensity to shove anything edible in her mouth, so it really was a tragedy that those crab cakes were all the way across the room. There should really be a table right in the middle of the dance floor just for snacks. That way caterers wouldn’t have to do so much leg work, which is actually a good thing, because that ballroom floor is slippery af. This narrator should know, he has Died A Few Times getting there. Suddenly, the night’s festivities were interrupted by a social faux pas: a scream.

You don’t just scream at regular parties, it’s uncouth and hysterical. But you can scream if the social boundaries have already been crossed, and boy, were they crossed.

You see, Dear Reader, there was a man in the toilet.

I use the term “man” loosely, as his glaring yellow eyes do wonders when you might just crap your pantaloons. You start imagining things, like dinosaurs whcih i am personally a big fan of bc Jurassic Park has a kid named Tim in it and I am also Tim.

 hI y is our toilet so big that Killer Croc could wiggle his way up? also how long can he hold his breath. 

 it seems to be impressively long

 hey Bdad how long can he hold his breath? please let me know if you can, and if you won’t i will eat all your wafers becauzs i wa

Mrs. Trenton screamed and fled the impertinent bathroom guest, who wasted no time in ripping the commode to pieces. There was a roar and all the guests paused, unsure if it was merely pipe problems or if they were under attack.

Reader: They were, in fact, under attack. 

The guests, deciding that Mrs. Trenton was a social entrepreneur, followed her lead and began to scream. Killer Croc had made it to ballroom, standing at an impressive height just outside the doors.

He was Not wearing a shirt.

okay have u ever noticed that Killer Crog hasn’t got any nipples????? where are they? he’s got pecs but no nipples?? 

where did they go where are his nip nops i kno people don’t like to think about this but i hAve wondered since i was like 13 like where did they go. has anyone ever asked him. 

did they fall off

“Take the crab cakes!” shouted Matthew Fielder, a lil bitch.

“No, take me!” said Cassandra Wayne, who would literally rather die than give up those crab cakes.

Killer Croc paid them no heed. He desired one thing and one thing only, the sweet satisfaction for his carnal craving: Humain Flesh.

(alliteration hell yeah hell yeah take that Mrs. Johnson i do know shit and im creative as well u jusy don’t know how my brian works it’s like a golden goose egg trap ye ye ye)

 i just Realized 

 i am…a high school drop out

 i don’t know why im doing this

Dear Reader, as an Aside: Smoking can lead to many health issues, especially if one begins smoking at a young age. Harmful side effects include increased risk of stroke and brain damage; muscular degeneration, eye cataracts; cancer of lips, nose, tongue, and mouth, and nipple loss.

 Jason you may want to have a talk with you and your mipples

The terror in the air was stifling. Cannibalism conduct was not something conveyed in etiquette classes. Rich people never expect to be eaten.

Reader, everyone hardly breathed. Something deeply primal had occurred. 

From the doorway the golden eyes struck. Deadly. Lethal. Hungry. 

This was more than vengeance. It was a sadistic occasion of play.

  okay good thing Dames wasn’t there because he fucking HATES KC he gets all huffy and shrieky about him like “he’s a HYGIENE PROBLEM” and it’s like,,,,,.ur right but i don’t want to agree with you because where do we stand if i do that?? as brothers???

 i think the fuck not 

anyways i just realized i’ve been calling Waylon Jones KC the entire damn time (NEWSFLASH ASSHOLE) but to be fucking h, he wants to to be called that. i called him Allen once and he was so PISSED so i can only think of actually calling him by his name. he wouldn’t even be chill with me naming the sewer alligators even tho they were awesome names. i called one Dundee. that’s fucking genius. that’s just. i’m fucking amazing. stupenous. and unappreciated.

 maybe his nipples fell off because he swims in shit every night?????

 question: why do i swim in shit almost as often 

 what the dfck

 what are my life choices

 i feel like there should have been some fine print involved here 

 “Robin duties include scraping shit off your asschreks 3 times a week”

 mahbe,,,,maybe not what i want 

 personal choice

though i haven’t really seen any alligators in the sewers for years now, which is

oh my god OH MY GOD HE ATE THEM  HE ATE THEM OH MY GOD  OH MY GOD !!!!!!!!!!

HE FUCKING  HE FUCKING. HE. HE ATE HIMSELF  HE FUCNING ATE HIMAELF AND HIS FAMILY HIS COUSINS HIS CPOUSINS  HIS FAMILY OH MY GOD  THIS IS LIKE MY 8TH GRADE GRADUATION ALL OVER AGAIN

im so disturbed……..i like, need to eat something. Fucking hell. this Not what i had in mind when i decided to be alive.

i feel like as if i woke up one day and i was the only one in the entire world who remembered Caillou. also could pull off my face and eat it like taffy. imw so. i.

mom i know i refused to go to Shabbat when i was ten so i don’t get to say this but:

this is Not kosher 

oh heyy i want some pIckes

i was also thinking of takin a spin class?? like fuck it i like to bike. fuck it. and maybe iwdont want bruce and nigtwink fucking watxhing me with their beady eyes. like get those off my calves. my cleavage is up here, gentlemen. stop talking about proper form. some people can do things and suck at them. i’m never going to be like a professional ice curler. and i shouldn’t feel bad about that. who the fuck curls for fun. maybe Canada???????

note to self: look up the history of the sport of curling 

i’m going to get good at it to piss off Jason

Back On Topic:

Killer Croc took a step forward. His mouth trembled, watering in anticipation. He took another step.

Mrs. Trenton drew in a breath. 

The room was silent. 

Far across the room, Bruce Wayne clenched his champagne glass. Cassandra Wayne stopped chewing the crab cakes.  Reader, I won’t mince words: Waylon Jones crossed the threshold.

  and the instant he put his foot down on the ballroom floor he fucking slipped like a drunkass toddler

like when Damian is really really tired bc he’s like 2 years old (only an evil 2 years old like chucky) and Jason tries to give him a high five 

gremlin still doesn’t get that “down low” precedes “too slow” 

and he like. faceplants

onto the fucking concrete 

and then Bruce yells at Jason 

and then Jason yells back

“I NEVER ASKED FOR SIBLINGS”

like it was something we all did, like wrote it down on our batmas lists for Brucie Claus 

and im sitting there, a perennial Forgotten Middle Child

and Damian is like still. on the ground.

anyways KC is just slipping across the ballroom, slippering and sliding bc the floor was just waxed and it’s silent except for the wet slaps of his feet against the floor and the screech his tail makes every time he trips (sort of like this) and when he sometimes falls it makes that sound of when your thighs SLAP against the mats and it sounds like a wet walrus coming to cheer you on while a Giant simultaneously swallows a liquid-filled gummy worm down his throat like QAWAGGHHHHHHH only his falls reverberated against the ceiling panels and the cherubs looked down in like. disgust.

Cass began chewing the crab cakes again by the time Killer Croc fell for the twelfth time so idk it was an embarrassing situation

 we all did that Thing people do when a social barrier is breached 

 we like…..avoided each other’s eyes and made light conversation 

 meanwhile Killer Croc’s body screeched in the background

anyways Matthew Fielder was like “so I hear you dance ballet” and Cass responded “uh huh. tap too” and the chewed up crab cake crumbs fell out of her mouth and onto the floor

 i CAN’T

scrambled cock on a cracker, Cass why does Alfred let this happen????? what is this??????  like she can snort creme puffs like cocaine but GOD FORBID i put my elbows on the table and call damian “a poisonous little bitch” because he ate my croutons

 the standards in this family are unbelievable

So everyone is just talking and Mrs. Trenton is sipping champagne now and Luis Alvarez is doing that thing where he starts trying to eat caviar one teeny tiny egg at a time and KC is just like WHUMPH for the thirtieth time

finally dad takes pity on him and crouches down and is like “hey how you doing slugger” which???? Offended me. Very Much.

that’s MY nickname 

has Waylon No-Nipples Jones been adopted by Bruce Wayne??? has Waylon No-Nipples Jones retrieved HIS sorry ass from time?? i don’t fucking think so 

the audacity of this man

but before Killer Croc can reply

Red Hood

BURSTS INTO THE ROOM

guns out, voice modulator kind of fuzzy like a broke refrigerator that makes an “eeeeeeeeeee” sound ever since i tripped over it and fell on it

 which wASN’T MY FAULT 

 IM NOT “deformed baby zebra clumsy” FUCK YOU JASON 

 MAYBE HE SHOULDN’T KEEP HIS EXPENSIVE HELMET ON THE FLOOR THEN 

 you know what? I’m GLAD i tripped over it.

 yeah. suck it. 

 im glad you sound like a 90s japanese transistor radio 

 off brand too

 fuck you 

 I GOT A BRUISE NOT THAT ANYONE CARES 

 even Bruce was like “hey tim you need to watch where you’re going”

 ???

 how about YOU watch where YOU’RE GOING 

 “where” as in TIME TRAVEL 

 REMEMBER THAT BRUCE 

 REMEMBER THAT?!???????

 HUH BIG GUY?!???????!!???

 no one is allowed to criticize me from now on

 i am Above Reproach 

    anyways yeah Red Hood appears at the party and shoots KC and Bruce was like “why the FUCK would you SHOOT HIM” as if he has some misplaced paternal feeling for Waylon No-Nipples Jones because he called him slugger which is something he calls one of his other kids but whatever im not bitter im just insecure and sad all the time but don’t worry about it maybe i’ll die one day and you’ll all be sorry especially about Certain Things like not sharing cheese nibs huh Cassandra

so RH and Bruce Wayne kind of argue. like. literally sniping at each other bc SOMEBODY forgot that Red Hood is a criminal and not their misplaced son and RH is like “it’s!!!!! a tranquilizer!!!!! ya big hoe!!!!!” only he doesn’t really say it like that but everyone isn’t even listening at this point because this party has already been so goddamn weird and we’re all suffering from secondhand embarrassment

i am Assuming,,,,,that Killer Croc Jones “Jonsie No-Nipples” has been taken away to be put into jail and studied for his non-nipple properties but at this point i’ve been sitting here huffing that cold medicine or whatever Bruce gave me. which

 oh yeah i was crushed earlier 

 it was by “slugger” but whatever

 yeah his body broke mine 

 it was because Bruce and Jason were fighting again and not paying attention so 

 KC was tranquillized and like 

 fell on me 

 he drooled on me too 

 those ballroom floors really hurt 

 like my head feels like mush 

 Alfred’s oatmeal 

 on its second day 

 because i refused to eat it on the first day 

 that man has a spine of Steel and he Does Not Let You Waste Food 

 btw he fell on me because i pushed Luis Alvarez out of the way 

 he was really transfixed by those tiny fish eggs 

 it’s fun to put them on your tongue and let them like slide around 

 so i pushed him out of the way and was promptly crushed to death 

 B said something about a broken collarbone 

 i am more worried about a broken butt 

 fuck

 my coccyx

PROFESSOR PYM wait no shit that’s a comic book character

anyways my butt is broken and im hungry and dad wouldn’t let me get out of the chair so i write up this report because I am A Real Life Detective and I do my JOB

once again im the best

hey red jood can you get me some cheese nibs cassandrA won’t share which is p mean especially since i was all for being eaten to give her those crab cakes  red hoof red  why isn’t he responding to me i want xheese nibs red hanz  red  red  Red Hood please I require sustenance  red fhau red gjji red hhood ted joood redb hood red red edds red red edd dedd red red red red red wd red  what the fuck what a right bastard sometimes oh hi Badaman

EDIT: His name is “Pyg.”  Fucking. Pyg. Points taken off for unoriginality.

decided to have a tumblr version too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#take this and put it on my grave #in remembrance of me

[mikeshanlon]

iwwv anon and PHEW OK. I def did not expect that essay and now I feel bad cause I KNOW my thots r not gonna be articulate or right. nonetheless! i think Oliver does qualify as an unreliable narrator cause hes. very oblivious but not like... Richard papen (who is a whole ass clown don't get me started on tsh) but not like addy from dare me(I will support till the day I die that dare me is da like I WILL die on this hill) who sees what she wants to see. 1/?

i think he just... thinks that his friends r diff ppl than they actually r? that doesnt rly make sense but yea. what I mean is that everything the characters do is coated in that empathetic view Oliver has which is usually wrong? so we don't get an objective look into the characters. meredith is my girl like I love the hot popular girl trope deconstruction but at the end of the book she's not at a great place like she's w someone that doesn't love her like she needs to be loved... 2/

I guess the most probable ending is that James never meets Oliver again and that everyone is kinda stuck on what happened but that's soo sad and I really don't want to think abt it. ngl iwwv wasn't like my fave book ever and I really don't understand why people are so obsessed with dark academia sometimes but what i rly liked abt the book is that despite how fucked up everyone is and how toxic they r to each other they do at heart care abt one another...3/

like I rly liked that esp cause at that point the only other da book (other than dare me!) that I had read was tsh and godd every character is so fuckinh annoying and they all hate each other. i was super confused by it till I saw someone saying that it's satire and I felt my mind explode. I feel like this is so long but I didnt rly properly answer all you wrote sorry! I think its a pretty good book tho it has some crazy quotes like hold awn Im gonna look at the highlighted stuff on my copy.. 4/

Were you in love with him?” “Yes,” [...]Yes, I was.” It’s not the whole truth. The whole truth is, I’m in love with him still. LIKEEE PHEWW OK OK OK. WE OUT HERE. that line literally made me go crazy. I'm so sorry for any spelling mistakes or like general mistakes I made here English isn't my first language, it's 1am and I wrote this in the notes app w/o looking it over. so like.. NOT a professional review lemme tell you. 5/5

 Ahh im so sorry I did not see this before I yeeted for a month!!!

Oooh okay first of all dare me as a DA… I’ve only watched the show but like yeah I see the Elements for sure.

Also yeah I can understand what you mean abt Oliver being an unreliable narrator now… Ig my view of unreliable was more like they are purposefully twisting the truth or omitting facts or just literally don’t know shit but I get how personal bias can make the narrator unreliable. I do think the assertion that Oliver thinks his friends are different than they actually are makes sense. He sees James in a very positive light and though I like James a lot and think he is better than, like, Richard, he definitely has darker moments and manipulates Oliver at times (again I’d like to think it’s not the most nefarious thing in the world but like him just being shitty bc he’s in a dark place and he one, wants to do anything he can so Oliver doesn’t figure out he fought Richard so Oliver still thinks of him the same way/bc he knows Oliver would do something stupid like get himself arrested for James; and two, is very jealous that Oliver is with Meredith after Richard dies and has sort of a somewhat positive outcome from Richard’s death versus James being riddled with guilt and anger). And yeah, the probable ending is they never meet but I refuse to acknowledge that so LGNRG. Also that line makes me go CRAZZZZZZZZZZY!!! There are so many great lines, both using Shakespeare and on their own and its like okay give me a moment im going bonkers…

Personally, I haven’t read that many dark academia novels yet (bc for some reason i can barely finish a book rn sigh) but the concept interests me. I think what’s compelling is the setting/atmosphere of like ~mysterious college vibes~, and the idea of a sort of niche, obsessive bond and pursuit of knowledge with a tight knit group of friends (and the like inherent homoeroticism in every single DA elrngenrg). Like Dead Poet’s Society (the film I haven’t read the book) isn’t Dark in the same way most other dark academia is by like, obsession and death and manipulation (though of course there are dark elements with Neil’s storyline), but I think the other building blocks of academia are present there in a more wholesome way and you can see why people are drawn to that idea. As for the more Dark aspects I think it’s interesting to analyze things like group psyche, obsession, manipulation, etc, like what went wrong for everything to take such a dark turn???

 But, like everything else, it really has to be done well or else its just like okay….… I’ve tried to read TSH twice and I may try again but from the 100+ ish pages I read I totally get what you mean. IWWV is so interesting to me bc the characters are all very compelling and multifaceted and I like that they are a close friendship, we come in after 4 years of them spending all the time together and to me that is apparent. Like you said, we can see fissures and problems especially as the novel continues but there is care there between them. That also makes the decision to let Richard die much more interesting and sinister imo, as well as how all of them interact with each other after he dies, and how the roles of the group change without their “leader” so to speak. Also, maybe it’s just bc I like Shakespeare, but I think the academia part of IWWV is so much more accessible compared to TSH. Like I don’t know every Shakespeare play or anything so I didn’t understand every nuance or was like immediately like oh this is from Cymbeline or whatever the fuck, but you could understand the gist of things and it made sense that they spoke in Shakespeare lines bc that’s all they’ve been doing for four years and also theatre kids are Like That. Their pretention also provided any Layers to the story, like the parallels between the characters they play and their own arcs, how some of the lines echoed their own thots, foreshadowed, or they were able to say things through Shakespeare (I’m thinking of like, Oliver realized he loved James during Romeo and Juliet, the foreshadowing that James was going to ruin Richard’s life and that he dislikes Meredith/Richard when he quotes Mercutio at the start “A plague o’ both your houses”, the exchange Oliver and James had onstage and had that kiss during King Lear before Oliver was arrested,etc.) (Also I think the structure of some of the dialogue being formatted like a play really helped make it feel more realistic and immersive). Versus TSH which is just so pedantic and dense and hard to follow at times im like I get they are smart but what??? And maybe that’s part of the satire aspect (or maybe im dumb) but like donna I read TGF I know you are pretentious and info dump abt random obscure shit anyways so erglknerg. Like to me there was a Point to all of the academic Shakespeare stuff in IWWV and it was the soul of the book, and M.L. Rio made it very interesting—like the way that the directors reimagined the plays and had Julius Caesar be like a modern political play, the cool mirror shit in King Lear, the Macbeth and Romeo and Juliet performances where they did them at events and interacted with their environments (which were one of my favorite parts of the books bc I just think that concept is so interesting), etc. For TSH the shit they did literally just felt like “okay look at them they’re smart see you can’t even keep up!” like okay… I felt lost a lot and only like snapped into reality whenever Henry (?) was like oh… murder….. and even then I was like idk what this dude is saying but like he’s being darksided LMAO. And I also agree that it’s just like… Richard being thrown in the middle of this group could lend itself to some cool ideas but its hard to believe that he fits into the friendship group and hes just like hell yeah I love Greek so much and lets go kill this guy other than like okay ur gay and stupid and just want to impress Henry or whatever his name was (which he was but I digress). It’s just not as impactful to me as this close friend group falling apart. Ik TSH fans might be angry if they see this (and of course I haven’t finished the book so my perception may be warped but I also kno many ppl felt that way u did) bc I’ve seen ppl say IWWV is just like TSH but “lackluster” or whatever and while I can see some parallels (mostly b/w Richard and Henry and Alexander and Francis), I really think M.L. Rio expanded upon common DA tropes and the interesting parts of TSH but made it her own and interesting and oh yeah there are actually multiple compelling female characters and LGBT characters (and no incest)!!!

#if we were villians #books #also literally dont apologize for any mistakes or going bonkers like i have no problem n i understood what u meant anyways LMAO #anon #ask