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#you could make a compilation post with pics like these
hedonists · 9 months
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he's everybody's babygirl
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fumifooms · 5 months
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Chilchuck analysis speedrun: As a hardworking half-foot who grew up poor and discriminated against and had his gullibility taken advantage of multiple times in his early adventuring days, Chilchuck thinks optimism is a dangerous flaw. He’s stressed and strict all the time because his job is noticing details like traps that could get everyone killed before anyone knows it, he takes the lives of everyone to be on his shoulders, and with the way he speaks about it that probably partly reflects how he felt about taking it upon himself to provide for his family too. His life’s always been pretty centered around work and has become even moreso now that his wife left and everyone is independent, and due to past events he’s very iffy with bonding with coworkers. He thinks feelings and job are a disaster mix. Like with his wife or with parties hiring him as sacrifice, being open or having good faith is vulnerability which can get you hurt, so he processes and shows all his stress as anger instead of worry. Doing strict dieting probably isn’t helping the irritability what with hunger, and on top of being a hunger suppressant alcohol might be the main stress reliever he has.
His grey hairs are so earned
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#Chilchuck tims#dungeon meshi#analysis#HAPPY CHILCHUCK DAY#You know what yeah understandable have a good day#Alcohol be a ticket straight to chilling out town I suppose#Spoilers#dungeon meshi manga spoilers#Thinking on if I should split my family masterpost into diff posts for max reach hmm#I’m def editing in the second page into that post that “I’ve got three people to think of here” sounds sooo much like that’s#how he’d think about it in a family setting as well. He works so hard for them 🥺#I could have put 100 pics on this post to justify everything I mentioned but this is a speedrun for a reason. I’m planning so many#compilations rn i need a break from rereading lol#He’s just here to do his work!! He just wanna do his work!!!#I’m always rotating him in my brain like rotisserie chicken :( Hopefully this doesn’t sound disjointed or insane to average readers#He’s always on his guard so he has a short fuse and his type of humor & liking for snarky remarks doesn’t help#Also bc he knows nothing lasts he has a very work hard play hard mentality where ‘dying doing something you love. Like drinking’#is nice in his opinion#This post makes it all sound so dry. Chilchuck is so messy thinking about him is thrilling I swear. This is concise but at what cost…#OH ALSO he has weird self-hate issues where he really values his skills but devalues himself on a personal level.#‘I am a coward. I only care about myself. I cheated on my wife (lying for no reason)’ etc etc#Can’t disappoint people and make them leave you if they already have no expectations and esteem of you 😏💡#Laws are important to him bc he knows how bad punishment is if you break them and how they’re the key to getting better rights
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skitskatdacat63 · 7 months
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2011 British gp Fernando is such a mood...
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sunflowerskies00 · 2 months
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too sweet, part 2
it's ten o'clock before i say a word
series master list
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liked by rutgermcgroarty, luca.fantilli, edwards.73, and others
yourusername: life lately
tagged: rutgermcgroarty, luca,fantilli, dylanduke25, edwards.73, and markestapa
lhughes_06: second pic goes hard
yourusername: it really does lhughes_06: maybe that's why you can't find a boyfriend edwards.73: damn he got u yourusername yourusername: please lhughes_06 I pull more men than you pull girls yourusername: pretty sure I could pull more girls than you lhughes_06: you wish jackhughes: please stop talking about the men you pull yourusername
edwards.73: where tf was my invite to chick fil a?
yourusername: lost in the mail? yourusername: KIDDING it was a spontaneous rut and y/n date edwards.73: you went on a date with rut? yourusername: not like that you weirdo. i wanted food, rut was there, i made him drive and pay rutgermcgroarty: careful edwards your jealousy is showing
_quinnhughes: could you maybe make like some girl friends?
yourusername: nah I'm all good Quinny yourusername: also I have one, Tay Tay _quinnhughes: you give me grey hair yourusername: you should worry less, like mom and dad
username35: big brother quinn is my favorite
username21: y/n giving him gray hair is my favorite
luca.fantilli: so we're all just ignoring the comment thread under edwards comment? Cool.
markestapa: no let's go back to that rutgermcgroarty: oh edwards being jealous? nothing new. yourusername: me=confused rutgermcgroarty: you poor oblivious soul yourusername luca.fantilli: ^fr markestapa: ^fr dylanduke25: ^fr adamfantilli: fr^ lhughes_06: fr^ edwards.73: hate all of you rutgermcgroarty: mmm not all of us
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liked by edwards.73, dylanduke25, markestapa, and others
yourusername: mirror selfie compilation
_quinnhughes: the last one?? Put some clothes on PLEASE
jackhughes: ^ please lhughes_06: literally where is your clothing? yourusername: brothers please I'm an adult and it's called a swimsuit _quinnhughes: there is not enough fabric there for a swimsuit jackhughes: ^quinn speaking facts lhughes_06: ^ fr yourusername: called a bikini my friends thanks for the concern tho
taylorrose: PLEASE MARRY ME YOU'RE GORGEOUS
yourusername: meet me at the chapel 😘😘
edwards.73: holy shit
rutgermcgroarty: I think you broke him yourusername: pardon? luca.fantilli: you definitely broke him yourusername: I don't even know what that means rutgermcgroarty: he dropped his phone, his jaw is hanging open, and he's not moving. you broke him. yourusername: I don't think so markestapa: his phone is literally open to this post tf you mean you don't think so
username35: the things I would do to look like her
username40: fr she's gorgeous username70: the things ethan would do to date her username35: ^ REAL. obsessed with her. he ain't slick. *yourusername liked comment* *yourusername unliked comment* username35: y/n ain't slick either. we saw that like/unlike
trevorzegras: well damn baby hughes
jackhughes: for the love of god please don't flirt with my sister trevorzegras: no flirting simply saying she looks good 🤷🏻‍♂️ _quinnhughes: ew why'd you use that emoji trevorzegras: must you criticize everything I do? _quinnhughes: yes.
_alexturcotte: your comment section is a mess
yourusername: fr these boys can't act normal
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zillychu · 5 months
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Hi! Love the fire core au you have going! I saw one of your long hair phantom pics and I couldn’t help but fall in love with it! It made me follow your account for more! I was curious if this au was a platonic or romantic everlasting trio thing? The ‘wake up covered in bitches’ art honestly felt like it could be interpreted either way, so I felt like I had to ask. Phantom will be getting the love he deserves either way though~
(Feel free to ignore if it’s irritating that I asked this.)
Haha no worries you're fine!
Everlasting trio in this AU is very much "accidental queer found family polycule", with varying levels of platonic/romantic and sexual/nonsexual feelings between them.
These are my personal headcanons for them! You're welcome to make your own interpretations though, I don't mind :')
Danny is amab non-binary (he/him) asexual aromantic. (no he doesn't know much about this until after he starts re-integrating into society lol)
Sam is afab genderqueer (she/her) demisexual grayromantic.
Tucker is afab trans boy (top post-op)(he/him) pansexual panromantic.
(By the way, I'm still compiling a basic AU summary doc and I'm including info to answer everyone's questions they've sent in! So if I haven't responded I promise I haven't forget or am ignoring you I'm just very slowly chipping away at a more comprehensive post. I've gotten this question several times tho so I figured I'd answer it right away!)
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shysuccubusstuff · 14 days
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yandere! diluc pt. 1
Content: dubcon/noncon, stalker behaviour, yandere, syringe, manhandling, kidnap, foul language.
Note: Yeah I know I have a pt. 2 left but i'm so so dry bc of exams and stress so I just wanted to post stuff I like without (trying) to think too much, as always, non-proof reader.
Credits to anitelenia for the lovely divider.
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It had been a few days since you started to realize it.
You mostly noticed it when you were alone, walking quietly to your house after your night shift. You had just left the flower shop, trying to walk as fast as possible, just thinking about your warm and soft bed. You were far too deep in your fantasies when you finally stumbled upon someone. Your forehead bumped against something stiff, you could say that it was even hard. Just as you were about to apologize a deep voice talked:
"I'm sorry... I really wasn't looking, are you ok?" Deep blazing eyes encountered with yours, his eyes shining as wild flames despite the cold light of the moon. His hair was swaying, making his face look even more charming, how come you had never seen someone as beautiful as him around? You were dazzed for a moment, your lips almost forming a small circle, luckily, you were fast enough to realize it, finally being able to snap out of it.
"Oh, no, it's my fault, it's kinda dark today so yeah... I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings, I'm sorry..." As soon as you babbled your poor excuses, the man laughted softly, his eyes forming small crescent moons.
"Diluc, just call me by my name." You nodded, a bit stranged cause, who would simply give their name to some stranger found in the middle of the night?
"Oh, nice to meet you sir Diluc, I gotta go, see you around!" You left without losing more time, after all, your dear bed was waiting all alone for you. If only you had pay a bit more attention to whatever that man was saying before leaving...
"I'm sure we will meet much more often from now on, dear." Without saying nothing else, Diluc left, walking back to the wineyard and starting to plan how would he be able to make you let down your walls.
A few months had passed, and just as he had foresaw, both of you had suddenly became the soon-to-be couple in Mondstadt. Everytime people saw you around, his eyes started to share furtive glances, their hands making small gestures in a comedic way. Even despite Diluc acted as if he was unaware, he knew it. After all, those rumors had been planned by him. He helped you with even small stuff, always getting up and bringing you your drink, paying when he invited you to have lunch or diner, always as "friends" of course, definitely not because he was already thinking about the ring to ask you to marry him... He also waited for you after work, always bringing you small bouquetes of flowers that he had "found" around while he was doing small quests (he was actually buying them, then making the bouquet with your favourite flowers).
He had already written down all your favourite places, foods, flowers, colours, the type of clothes that you liked, your most hated food, your fears, the name of your first pet... the list could go on for hours. Cause if he didn't know all that information, could he even call himself your boyfriend?
He also had a "small" compilation of sneak pics he had taken of you, the photos were laying around his room, some were hanged in frames, others were hidden in boxes, the rest were used for his shrine in progress.
Of course, when he finally confessed his feelings, he was 100% sure you would fall in love with him, he had done everything you had told him you liked in a man! So when your face changed, your eyes suddenly losing that loving spark, his world almost crashed completely. You tried to explain it to him, it was not the first time a man who you had considered a friend had confessed to you, so you were a bit dissappointed... did that mean that you had approached her with that intention since the beginning? You didn't know what to think, so you asked him for some time, just enough for you to think deep about it. Before you knew it, his hand was already way too close to your neck, a small zap being sent all through your body and causing you to fall against his arms.
When you finally woke up, you were in his room, the fire was crackling, almost making it feel way too... cozy, almost as if you were at "home". What happened? Just as you were about to move from the bed, you noticed something. There was a chain tied to your ankle, tying you to the bed, your clothes had been changed to a soft nightgown, somehow perfectly fitting your body, what the hell had happened?
You were about to scream, when the door opened, his crimson hair swaying just like the first night you had met. He was carrying a small tray, some grapes and other fruits were on top of it. As soon as he noticed you were awake, his lips curved up, his eyes shining with pure devotion.
"Darling! I'm sorry, it seems the thing I created had a little misscalculation..." Diluc apologized, leaving the tray in his desk.
"Are you ok? Do you feel any type of pain? It would kill me to know that I have hurt you..." His hands moved towards you, although as soon as he saw you flintch his hands stopped, his face looking as hurt as if he was the one that had been chained. He suddenly got up from the bed, once again heading towards his desk and taking something from one of the drawers. He got close to you, and despite your failed attempts of squirming away from his touch, it was all in vain as soon as you felt a pulsing pain, almost as if you had been pricked with a needle. The blood that was supposed to keep you on edge was suddenly towards your lower half. What was happening?
As soon as he had used that strange needle, your whole body had went soft, almost limp. did he inject something inside of you? Before you were able to complain anything about it, your brain felt as if it had turned into mush, your brain feeling too fuzzy to think.
"What... what was that?" Diluc eyes' glistened, looking a bit too proud of his work.
"Just some potion to help ease your mind, you looked too... stressed before, but now you look just like a pretty little doll, darling. Did you like the nightgown I bought? I knew it would suit you, but I didn't think it would make you look even prettier!" His hands went through your soft hair, his hands feeling a bit too... hot, maybe it was actually your body the one that was melting?
"Diluc, you need to let me go... I... We can talk about all of this... I promise I won't say it to the knights of Favonius..." You tried to hard to form a cohesive sentence, but Diluc's face switched, his calm face turning into a grin.
"Oh sweet heart, you are almost as naive as beautiful. Do you truly think that those... pesky little knights can harm me in anyway?" Diluc's gaze darkened, his eyes drifting through your whole body. "I'm sorry for having to take this...solution, but you were getting a bit too... close, you know?" Diluc sat down at your side, his hand moving your head a little, just enough for your head to rest on his shoulder. "Just being close to you makes me feel at peace, you know?" His body shifted a little, his calloused hand taking your hair out of your face. "I finally made up my mind after seeing you two that afternoon... that damned liar keeps trying to take what's mine." His hands moved, his fingertips drifted through your chest, pinching a bit your nipples, just enough to let a moan leave your mouth.
"That drug is still active, I guess..." He pushed you just a little, your body falling to the bed without much resistance. His frame on top of you, his soft hair sending shivers down your spine. His face lowered, his soft lips leaving kisses all through your neck, letting you whimper as much as you wanted. His hands were moving around, slowly touching your clothed cunt, treating you as if you were a delicate porcelain doll. "I can even see your pretty pussy, are you that excited to be touched?" You tried to complain, of course that was not the case! That damned syringe had done something to you, of course you were only able to make some complain noises.
"Uhm... to be honest that was just a muscle relaxant, it was just in case you tried to play some little tricks on me, I'm sorry for doubting you, honey. But I swear I will never do anything like it again, I just got a bit anxious." His hands got away from your lower half, going back up and starting to caress your face, kissing your pretty lips and making them all shiny.
"We can consume our love any other day, I've prepared plenty of stuff for us to do, sweet heart." Before you were able to complain, your eyes started to close, body too tired to even ask when would you be free.
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vampire-meta-knight · 6 months
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Goth DIY: Altered Clothing part 1
Since some of you crafty goths were interested in seeing the clothing I've altered, I decided to compile it all in one place! I hope I can inspire your creations,give you ideas, and teach you new techniques. This will be a long post, since I've been making alterations to my clothing since high school, which also means some of these projects aren't as polished as others, since they were made when I was newer to DIY and have mistakes I've since learned from, but that's okay! Goth doesn't have to be polished and perfect, and don't let the fear of mistakes stop you from creating!
I've already done posts about the shorts and pants I've gothified, so part 1 will focus on t-shirts, camisoles, and button-up shirts. Part 2 will have sweaters, skirts, and dresses. Some alterations are as easy as adding safety pins or lace trim, and others involve more sewing. Lots of these are very beginner-friendly projects and take less than an hour. All of these items were completely plain when I got them--anything metal, lace, embroidered, or painted that you see was added by me. I'll add more about each garment in the image descriptions. As always, feel free to message me if you want better or more thorough instructions or DIY advice. I'm here to be a resource to my fellow crafters! <3
(Also, please pardon the cat hair and my hair on the clothes--I don't take perfect pictures. A couple pics are also old since those shirts are in storage so I could make room for my winter wardrobe, so you'll notice a change in backdrop and a dirty mirror.)
Let's start with t-shirts and camisoles! Use an old shirt, a thrifted shirt, a shirt from Walmart, etc.! I like to get plain unisex t-shirts from Walmart and paint on them using freezer paper stencils, bleach them, shred them, and/or add safety pins to them. The camis also came from Walmart, and I changed the necklines and added lace trim to make them cuter.
To make a sweetheart neckline on a cami, you can cut it, or you can just pinch the middle and sew it into place (I did that for all of them except the black and white one--that one ended up a little lower-cut than I meant it to, so I decided to stick with the pinching method). The lace trim I used on the black camis isn't stretchy, but still works just fine, as long as you pin it into place while you're wearing the shirt and stretch the shirt a bit as you sew to maintain stretch in those areas. Stretchy lace, like I used on the pink and red camis, works a bit better, but is harder to find. I still like pinning the lace while I'm wearing the shirt to get the placement down, but if you wear a bra, make sure you're wearing the one you plan on wearing with the shirt while placing the lace. I found it doesn't sit right with bras that fit a little differently than the one I based the placement on.
The long-sleeved Emily the Strange shirt has a neat detail, albeit a wonky one because my placement is a bit off sometimes. You'll notice two little striped triangles at the bottom. I cut slits in the shirt and added triangles of striped stretchy fabric, then sewed zippers over top of them to hide the seams and add extra detail. I also sewed the zippers on with red thread for contrast.
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My button-ups are a bit more involved. I treat them like how I treat shorts--patches, lace, embroidery, pins, grommet tape, D-rings, charms, chains, oh my! The pink one is my most recent, and I'm so proud of it. All of the patches came from ToothxNail on Etsy, except the Rat King patch, which came from Katiewhittleart on Etsy. The flowers on the collar were buttons that I glued onto flat-back pins from a craft store (I used E6000 glue). Made super quick collar pins that I can remove when washing the shirt or put on something else when I want.
The orange button-up was by far the simplest. I just added lace trim to the cuffs and cropped it (it had been high-low, but I wanted to wear it tucked into a skirt and the long back was annoying me). I also added collar clips with a chain that I got at a craft fair, but that's more like styling an accessory with it than altering it, since I can just un-clip them.
The leather jacket is old and doesn't fit well, so I don't wear it anymore, but I kept it because it was my first leather jacket. Adding the sew-on studs and faux-fur trim on the neck took the longest. You'll also notice that a mouse chewed a hole in the outer shell on the pocket.
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Part 2
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pomeloandtv · 11 days
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ok, that's two down, one more wish
ok, my girlfriend, when we are planning things, from now on occasionally i am going to suggest a completely disproportionate and unreasonable compromise, and when i do i wish that she will not recognise it as that, she will see it as a fair suggestion, clever even, like i've cut the gordion knot
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[six months later]
can we go camping this summer?
i dunno the mosquitos ate me alive last time, it ruined the experience
we'll get good mosquito repellent, i can investigate the best things we can do to prevent that, i promise
i dunno, i'm not convinced, lots of other things went wrong that last time
we just need to prepare properly for the trip! we know what went wrong now and so we know what we need to fix, we can do it!
hmmm, ok, how about, we go camping, you investigate the mosquito thing, we start writing a list of everything that went wrong last time, and start doing the research on preventing them, aaaaannnnnndd you get breast implants
"....."
honey?
no, i'm just thinking, that's ... good, really good, it's simple, it works, we can do this. oh my god we will have such good fun this time, i promise
but i mean, [raising eyebrow and cocking head], you know, big ones, like really fake looking too, maybe i should help decide
thank you so much! [big hug] this is so cool! just like that time we agreed who i could spend time with!
[hugging, stroking hair, laughing, maybe a bit too loud] or the time you agreed i should have complete control over your orgasms
[falsetto voice, happily, still hugging tightly] yyeeeeeeeaaaaahhhhhhh
[barely able to contain himself] hahahahaaaaa ah haha [wiping a tear away] oh my god!
[breaking off the hug to look at him quizzically, then smiling] you're funny
[calming down] aah ha ahh [wiping another tear] ok, ok, i'm good, ha! you know me
that's right, i [playfully punches arm] know you. ha ok, i know already what kind of tent we should get and ...
now hang on, here's the order we should do things, we should start making a list of everything we need to get right for camping, but each of those problems will be quick to solve. but your boob job will take longer , both to plan and to heal, we need to start working on that first
ok, huh, but i don't even know where to begin, i've literally never thought about this kind of thing before, ever
right, so it is important to get a good doctor, but not every doctor will want to perform any surgery. you start by investigating potential surgeons, look for people with a good track record and reputation, that specialize in, uh ... [mimes two hefty breasts on his chest], you know? this is important to get right, so you don't need to stay local in your search
ok, i'll do that
meanwhile i'll start compiling pictures that you can show doctors of the types of boobs you want, you know figuring out dimensions and profile and the like
[excitedly clapping hands together in front of her chest] yay!
##############
[four months later]
[posting] hey everyone, new profile pic!
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skz-sage · 4 months
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skz + sage 5star moments (maknae line)
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a/n: my apolo cheese for being absent. i do really want to continue writing for sage! i have so many ideas. as always, any requests are welcome! please leave them in my ask box :) if i get enough love i MIGHT do lalalala era version
jisung
jisung and sage do a vlog together so sages little series where she posts vlogs every few weeks. this days guest was jisung. every time you put these two together it’s absolute mayhem. literally in every video with jisung and sage they’re giggling, screaming laughing, it’s always happy-going with them. in this vlog it shows them going to practice, the convenience store and to the park. one of the highlights in this vlog is sage and jisung walking into the store and sage says “it’s on me, get whatever.” you can immediately see the sparkle in jisung’s eyes eyes. in subtitles she put “princess peter han~”. you can tell sage was getting worried the more and more jisung added things to the basket. she waited a little more to say “hey! i’m not made of money!” she scolded him. which made him laugh. you could tell he was doing it to mess with her. it didn’t matter because at the end they had a romantic picnic at the park with their snacks.
felix
this moment consist of felix and sage getting their makeup done next to each other. they were the last two to have their makeup done. because sage is a girl, her makeup takes a little longer than the rest of the boys. felix has this cute thing where when they’re getting their makeup done next to each other, felix will stay behind and talk sages ear off. sage took a time-lapse type of video, recording felix just talking, doing nothing just annoying miju. all she really did was nod and make small replies. it’s not that she didn’t like felix doing this, it just who sage is. she could be so interested in what you’re saying but she’ll give half-assed replies. minho gets on her ass a lot for it. she later posted onto her personal instagram the video and pictures she took of him next to her. she captioned it “yongbok? more like yongboring 😒”
seungmin
for this specific part of the mv, sage had to act surprised. for an odd reason it took sage a while to get it right. of course, seungmin found it soooo amusing. just from him staring at him with a grin, she could tell exactly what was going on in his head. this would go in a compilation of “seungmin staring at sage for 30 minutes”. oh he was evil, but she loved him. the camera man will go over to seungmin and he’s laugh to the camera, mocking sage’s attempts to act shocked. “she’s endearing.. but a little stupid.” this made stays be like “HUH?? JESUS HES SO MEAN TO HER”, but no this is just how sage and seungmin joke around. they’re brutal towards each other. later on when it was seungmin on camera and sage watching, she shook her head and sighed. “he’s really pretty, stay. but he’s horrible towards me. you should always love me more.” she joked with a straight face towards the camera.
jeongin
in the 5star concept pics, jeongin and sage were paired together. the visuals they gave were astronauts, intergalactic, out of the world. it had the members talking out it for weeks. went from “she’s so gorgeous!” to “miju where did the years go? you’re all grown up!” which she hears often… it drives her crazy. in the dressing room, jeongin left behind an expensive silver necklace. with a note from jeongin saying “for miju~ ♡”. of course jeongin checked with staff to make sure she can wear it during the photoshoot. of course she gave her best visuals in the photoshoot, as she always does. after the shoot her and jeongin went out to restaurant and sage still had the necklace on. later jeongin would post on his instagram a picture of his kiss-stained cheek and the culprit? son miju.
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bloomingstay · 3 months
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favorite kpop group tag~ thank you @binniesbang!
who is your favorite kpop group?
stray kids, if that was any surprise
which member sparked your interest first?
hyunjin! i've almost always been pulled in by the dancer (lee know i know but) specifically the style of dance hyunjin excels in. the isolation is so satisfying and cool. for some reason choreo always gets a song stuck in my head??
But also!! I had heard they produced their own music and that really got me interested in kpop again
who was your first bias?
chris bang 🤍 went from zero to ult within no more than two days tbh…
what makes them your current bias?
oh god. um. i'll put this in the least embarrassing way possible. (this is a kpop tumblr blog I should probably get over it)
it was a particularly bad year. i stumbled upon their silly videos (thank you stay for the edits<3) and they made me laugh. then i started seeing clips of chans room and him interacting with the boys and just like... he's so wonderful. he's generous and kind and loving and thoughtful. just a shy lil guy who also happens to be a flirt and a fucking dork and it's cute man idk shut upp
who is your bias wrecker?
i was certain i'd never have one, i truly adore each of those boys so so much.
i was however proven wrong after a very sweet, silly compilation of binnie being ridiculous. followed by a face cam of his sclass performance in the supreme jersey?? and the curls?? he has such amazing stage presence and he's a great dancer. but he kept going from his cute sweet binnie expressions looking like he was just so into it and having fun, to the "dark rapper" eyes and commanding stage presence. and like, wow. 🖤 i am a sucker for that kind of duality.
which members are you currently obsessing over that aren't your bias/wrecker?
in another reality han is my wrecker. that boy is the epitome of what i used to look for in guys: babygirl. lol. well, and insanely talented and funny and everything. I adore him
after befriending a couple seungmin stans, i started looking for pics and clips to send them and found myself so incredibly impressed with him and touched by some of the things he's said and done. plus he’s a funny little shit.
hwang hyunjin is such a sweet boy. since we got producer jinnie on the last album i have been looking back and just so impressed with his growth 🤍
when did you first discover the group?
(Upon editing I realize I read this as ‘how’ but oh well)
okokok so
i was a kpop fan 2014-2017 and went all in. kcon and concerts the whole thing
but then i was just on my usual 6 hour yt shorts binge as i tried to fall asleep and saw skz reacting to the "your eyes" mv, specifically felix's part, obviously. i watched it like 12 times just cry laughing at han screaming, hyunjin trying to escape, channie hiding behind his hands and squealing. it was just so funny to see a group kind of clowning their own shit? i thought they were hilarious.
then i saw julien (solomita) had reacted to 'topline' and i was soooo into it. immediately went to watch some mvs and decided cool i'll be a totally normal casual fan of this group’s music….. :)
THEN a lovely lady i'd followed on my 10 year old tumblr account posted about skz. i messaged her that I’d finally decided to check them out and she was kind enough to answer questions and entertain my onslaught of messages as I screamed about how much I love these boys. and she still does everyday so. thank you hana 🌸
have you ever been to one of their concerts?
not yet~
what are some of your favorite songs by them?
THIS SECTION TOOK ME WAY TOO LONG. disclaimer: I absolutely could not include non ot8 this would’ve been 30 songs (I’m probably going to cheat)
Hall of fame. bitch ever since that live stage (which was the first time I’d heard it) I’ve listened to the sclass album 3 times a week no joke, goddamn it’s so good. so just know, i pulled almost every song from that album off this list when i made cuts
levanter. a hard pill to swallow mid relationship struggles and holds a lot of meaning for me.
secret secret. i can't get over how professional this song sounds and how it was just a few years in?
leave. where i got my username~ like I said, relationship stuff. You have not yet really bloomed When the new season comes I hope the warmth will make you bloom Into a flower that never dies
sclass. *bling bling* HIPHOPSTEP. such a fucking chaotic mess of a jam.
megaverse. the breakdown? MEGAPHONE. Han, bitch? We make the rules nobody can hold me yeaaahhh. Your body shakes - STRAY KIDS EVERYWHERE ALL AROUND THE WORLD. Sorry, flawless.
gods menu. ate, bitch. chan was something the fuck else
domino. neeed I say more
social path is bomb
grow up. read lyrics for the first time just now ow
eternity. told u I’d cheat.
love poem. big cheat my list worth it
I am going to be so mad when I realize I missed a song I listen to 7 times a day but been doin this for 2 hours so I’m calling it. Also forgive me I’m still working through the discography (backwards) and haven’t listened to the full first couple albums.
the adhd is allowing no further focus or thought so i will be tagging the same friends as my last tag post no pressure <3
@channieblossoms @skzms @roseykat @thefantasyden @seungsungracha @astraysis @channieswife
Thank you again @binniesbang for tagging me~!
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somuchyoudontknow · 11 months
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Bermuda.....
Is today a bad day 😁😂 Let's see...
There was a flight from Bedford to Bermuda on Mon and it returned back to Bedford on Thurs. It's not the same charter that Chris uses though. We know Justin was in NYC last Mon. Alba has been probably filming Mother Mary in Germany. She might have come along with Justin, Joana (who was in NYC too) and Justin's bff. I don't have any knowledge of when Justin and Alba and others went to Bermuda. Since they were in NYC on Mon, it makes sense they might have stayed there for a while and went to Bermuda on Tues or maybe Wed. Let's say Chris was in Bermuda from Mon to Thurs. It's hilarious they met up for a day if they did, maybe did some PR crap which if they have done, we will find out and Chris went back to MA. It still screams PR!
Alba is still in Bermuda with them as we know from Justin's stories. Time has been checked of the stories by @annislittleshopofhorrors so we know Justin is documenting the whole trip in real time. Chris might not have stayed in Bermuda over the weekend if the flight was his.
Now let's come to Chelsea's vid. Of course she posted a public video on FB although she went private on IG 🤣😉 Again, we have a compilation of vids and photos 😉 I saw the sign of Pink Beach Club, it's the Loren, in Bermuda. The caves are the same in the vid that Justin posted, Boats also seem to be the same as well. I don't know who was else in the vid since I really don't know about Chris' gang at all 😂 so couldn't figure it out. Don't know if Justin or Alba was in the vid also. Please let me know. A few friends are saying it's not the same resort Justin, Alba and their gang are staying, not sure we will figure it out.
Now, if you notice, the PR push has been aggressive since Alba and her gang started the travel. The brown coat and sneakers theory, the countertop theory, Justin's stories showing Alba and now Chelsea's vid. It is just all so pre-planned and orchestrated. There is a strike going on and every celeb is going to use other means to promote themselves and their work. I have already said that and that's why I was hesitant to believe any BUA was coming. Celebs are going to use their relationships, divorce, marriage, houses to promote themselves because there is no other way to promote themselves or their work. We don't know how long the strike might go, it might go till next year. Also, it doesn't make sense if they were to end the PR why would they do all the aggressive PR push in May for the Fall. We have Tiff in Fall and Pain Hustlers being presented and we have Amelia's Children being presented in Lisbon's Horror Film Festival. It's a PR push to elevate their public profiles for their upcoming movies. Both have their movies' premiere in Sept. Let's not also forget about the Carlisle House AD feature rumors.
We have been hearing about Costa Rica beach pap walk since last year 😉 Also, in May there was a rumor of Chris visiting Bermuda for set locations before going to Hawaii on a blog but it never came true. Don't you find it interesting why it is Bermuda of all places? It could have been Bahamas, Hawaii any other place but why Bermuda specifically? There is an untitled Bermuda movie in which Chris is rumored to be the lead role and we all know about it :)
Another thing, I don't think we will find Chris in any video or pic, just my theory because there is a strike and it will be suicidal to show his face during the strike when he was not seen on the Picket line and since he is off social media he couldn't post anything supporting the strike. It can all be just to bring attention and create gossip, PR push without letting Chris in the centre of it and all the others including Alba, her gang and his circle do the work. We will see I might be wrong, who knows we might get an organic pic sighting from Bermuda from a fan just like the restaurant pic we got in May. We have all talked about how inorganic this whole thing is but we will see :)
A thing to be noted she wasn't wearing a ring on her left hand. Let's remember that.
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swampgallows · 29 days
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the stupidest shit makes me sad. i had to block that post about the ai of the australian soldier in ww1 that they turned into a cajun guy with an elf boyfriend because something about seeing a young man's face (even if not real was still compiled from dozens of faces of real life young men of the era) and knowing he had to go off to war and seemed desperate to tell his story just like. i dont know. makes my ribs fucking ache. maybe i got some kind of complex from readin whatever kids book it was that had a recipe for 'tear soup' and one of the things they said to make you cry was for the spoon that fell behind the stove that you could never reach. even pictures of crying children makes me cry. little storybook illustrations of sad or crying kids or animals makes me cry. show me a pic of someone at an empty party or stood up on a date and im done for
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proton-wobbler · 7 months
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Yellow-rumped Warbler (Setophaga coronata)
There are (currently) four subspecies within Setophaga coronata:
Myrtle Warbler (S.c. coronata)
Audubon's Warbler (S.c. auduboni)
Black-fronted Warbler (S.c. nigrifrons)
Goldman's Warbler (S.c. goldmani)
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Our story (my rambling) begins with Myrtle and Audubon's Warblers being described as separate species, until a study in 1973 found evidence that the two routinely hybridized within a small strip of Western Canada. The Biological Species Concept* defines a species as any members of a population which can interbreed and create fertile offspring, and with the limited genetic evidence of the time, this concept was used to lump Myrtle and Audubon's into the Yellow-rumped Warbler. (*keep in mind there are many ways to define a species, so this single concept isnt a "be all, end all" argument)
This hybrid zone, however, is only 80 miles across, and has been shown to be stable over the past 50 years, suggesting the hybrids may not be as viable as previously thought. This, coupled with a new and overwhelming comparison between the birds' genomes, suggests that Myrtle and Audubon's Warblers are indeed separate species.
So the story goes back even further, because this story is really about bird populations and not our human ability to categorize them. The most likely situation is that the Myrtle Warbler was separated from the other three forms of the species during the Pleistocene glaciation, over the last million years or so. This pattern can also be seen in other "paired" species from East to West, such as Baltimore and Bullock's Orioles, or Rose-breasted and Black-headed Grosbeaks. The glaciers cut off the breeding population of Myrtle Warblers, and only after their receding could they move West to meet in the middle again.
In an interesting twist, the leading idea is that Audubon's Warbler is not only a separate species, but is actually a hybrid species which arose from Myrtle meeting the Black-fronted Warbler once it expanded back West. This hypothesis is supported by mitochondrial DNA of a sedentary population of Audubon's being very similar to Black-fronted, rather than to Myrtle Warblers. There needs to be more study into the genomics of these birds to confirm whether or not Audubon's would stand as it's own species, or if it and Black-fronted are more closely related.
Off to the side of all this is Goldman's Warbler, which makes sense when you take a look at the breeding range of these warblers. Black-fronted and Goldman's Warbler are both non-migratory birds, and the population of Goldman's Warbler is located almost entirely in Guatemala, with possible populations to the west in Chiapas, Mexico. In the same genomics study above, Goldman's Warbler stood out as unique when compared to both Myrtle and Audubon's DNA.
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To sum this up: more study is needed between Myrtle, Audubon's, and Black-fronted to confirm previous findings, but a three-way species split from this single species seems to be supported. The International Ornithological Congress (IOS) has already done so, splitting Yellow-rumped Warbler into Myrtle, Audubon's (with Black-fronted as a subspecies), and Goldman's Warbler.
While we're on the topic- hybridization between Setophaga warblers is not unheard of, and Yellow-rumped Warbler has multiple documented hybrids in the Macaulay library. I won't post all the pictures, but the best are linked as follows: Cape May, Magnolia, Palm, Yellow-throated, Grace's, Townsend's, Hermit, Black-throated Green). Other than it's own species-complex, Yellow-rumps are most closely related to Yellow-throated and Bahama Warbler.
Sources Below
Wikipedia (for ease of summarization)
Birds of the World (for the more in-depth story)
Barry the Birder (for the compiled image of all four birds, and for talking about the All About Birds article so I could find and link that)
All About Birds (for the range-pic, and for summarizing the study from The Auk- way better than I did, I may add. Go read their article if this intrigued you.)
Papers cited in Birds of the World:
[on 'lumping' YRWA] Eisenmann, E. (1973). Thirty-second supplement to the American Ornithologists' Union check-list of North American birds. Auk 90: 411–419.
[on the hybrid zone] Hubbard, J. P. (1969). The relationships and evolution of the Dendroica coronata complex. Auk 86:393-432.
[hybrid zone] Barrowclough, G. F. (1980). Genetic and phenotypic differentiation in a wood warbler (genus Dendroica) hybrid zone. Auk 97:655-668.
[hybrid zone] Brelsford, A., and D. E. Irwin (2009). Incipient speciation despite little assortative mating: the Yellow-rumped Warbler hybrid zone. Evolution 63:3050-3060
[on mtDNA between auduboni and nigrifrons] Milá, B., Toews, D.P.L., Smith, T.B. and Wayne, R.K. (2011). A cryptic contact zone between divergent mitochondrial DNA lineages in southwestern North America supports past introgressive hybridization in the yellow-rumped warbler complex (Aves: Dendroica coronata). Biological Journal of the Linnean Society. 103: 696–706.
[on the 'hybrid origin' of auduboni] Brelsford, A., Milá, B. and Irwin, D.E. (2011). Hybrid origin of Audubon’s Warbler. Molecular Ecology. 20(11): 2380–2389.
[on 'splitting' YRWA] Toews, D.P.L., Brelsford, A., Grossen, C., Milá, B. and Irwin, D.E. (2016). Genomic variation across the Yellow-rumped Warbler species complex. Auk. 133(4): 698–717.
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donaviolet · 3 months
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。・::・゚★,。・::・゚☆ WELCOME TO MY CHAOTIC SILLY UNIVERSE >:3 。・::・゚★,。・::・゚☆
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Sooo there are a lot of stuff I want to pin but I can only pin one thing at once so I decided to make a masterpost/welcome post!!
first of all here are some cool links :D
Mega Compilation of Cursed Reaction Pics
Site where you can make these heart locker gif thingies
Picrew Database
NASA site with a lot of stuff
Astronomy Picture of the Day
Fonts generator
Some art reference sites
DND Assets
Site where you can download these cursed blue emojis
How to download YT videos without these weird websites
Food Timeline
List of Gemstones
Website for downloading any video
Color Blender
How to find a very specific word you don't know the name of
A LOT OF EXTRA LINKS. A LOT. (They're very cool tho <3)
Super Secret Link Do Not Click
Now abt me!!
✧Feel free to call me Donaviolet, Violet or whatever you want to :>
✧INFP, she/her (they/them is fine too!), bi disaster🩷💜🩵 , brazilian, still a minor 💪✌️👍
✧ I speak portuguese, english and german, and I'm currently also learning french, spanish and russian
✧ I love writing, drawing, listening to music, playing games and being silly in general. I also love space and plan on becoming an astrophysicist!!
✧ AND I have a lot of OCs and I am creating an original story called The Day The World Restarted! I haven't posted about it properly yet but I promise one day I'll introduce the characters and explain the plot 🫶🫶 feel free to ask about it I will gladly answer!! (this was originally meant to be an oc ask blog but yea)
✧ If we become mutuals you will be forever my beloved pookie theres no going back /hj
✧ I often queue my reblogs, so if I like your post and then some months later it randomly appears that I reblogged from you, this is what happened :P
✧Some fandoms I'm into: Danganronpa, Bungou Stray Dogs, Undertale, Deltarune, Vocaloid, The Owl House, Omori, Spiderverse, Lord of the Rings, Mob Psycho, FNAF, Goncharov, Studio Ghibli and yes I had a Genshin/Honkai phase lol (there might me some other fandoms too, but I either already left them or forgor)
✧ Other stuff I like: RPGs, space (again) cats, mushrooms, cottagecore stuff, cute stuff (and for some reason creepy stuff too), stories and myths, strawberries, and you! <3
✧ My favorite music bands/musicians: Cavetown, Madilyn Mei, Lemon Demon, Tally Hall, Will Wood, Melanie Martinez, Panic! At The Disco, Kikuo, Toby Fox, Artic Monkeys, Britney Spears, Lady Gaga, Kali Uchis, Mother Mother, Jack Stauber, Odetari, Gorillaz, and I guess I could go on for centuries lol, I love music ( •̀ ω •́ )✧
✧ I lied I don't like cats. I LOVE cats. theyre just perfect lil skrunklies. most adorable thingies in the world. I really hope to have one someday
✧ Part of the Shadow Wizard Money Gang
✧ Please DNI if you're a proshipper, homophobic, transphobic or anything of that kind
thats it for now baiii :3
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findmeinthefallair · 2 years
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A Look at Hunter's Complex PTSD (Part 1)
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Alrighty, here is the first part of excerpts about Complex PTSD that I have compiled from a beautiful, poignant and funny memoir, “What My Bones Know” by Stephanie Foo, which I will be linking to Hunter’s character arc with as much detail and as many screencaps as possible.
Other sources of info in these analyses are wise words from my seasoned internship supervisor (in total, about 170 supervision hours clocked in with her) during my past training before I got licensed to practice, my own lived experience with Complex PTSD, and loosely drawing anything relevant from almost 3 years’ experience with my own clients’ cases so far. 
Special thanks goes to my friendo @wordsdarkerthantheirwiings (do check out her mental health blog!) for recommending this great book to me ^_^
Trigger warnings have been tagged in this post, and there will be multiple mentions of trauma and abuse in this series that I’m putting together.
I will be sharing parts of the book by following the order of the chapters, while the Hunter scenes might occasionally jump here and there and not be as chronological in order.
I’ll start with the author’s first overview of how PTSD works:
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Someone with PTSD has a brain which tends to flag things on a scale of life-or-death. Their brain will shoot out what it believes to be the appropriate emotional response to perceived danger.
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The above pic is so important. It may not be “reasonable” or “rational” as what we know those two words to mean on a normal day, but dare I say that it is its own reasoning and rationale. It’s a condition whereby the brain forms powerful associations after a life-or-death experience (or many such experiences), with the goal of protecting us but which can be debilitating after the real danger has passed. You could say it’s a state of being overprepared, almost constantly.
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Related to the above statement, I’ll show one of the more light-hearted moments from Hollow Mind that happened before the true horrors really showed themselves in the second half of that episode:
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It’s a more comical moment here, but the “Boo!” sound from the walkie talkie triggered a very believable response from Hunter. He raises his hands automatically to shield himself, in case he gets attacked. It’s not the exact pose as when he flinches when Belos makes physical contact with him (my bet is that if Hunter raised his arms high like this in front of Belos, he may have been punished or chastised for not standing stoic, strong and portraying “proper” Golden Guard strength) but is kind of along the same lines.
However, Hunter has undergone very strict military training, requiring him to be prepared for new scenarios including strange foreign noises or stimuli, which I would say has been both a risk factor and protective factor in his life. This will be covered in greater detail in future analyses. Therapists use the terms "risk factors" and "protective factors" when looking at what may worsen or improve our clients' conditions.
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Related to above, Titan knows how many times Hunter has been struck and threatened like this, traumatized perhaps hundreds of times over the course of years:
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Importantly, I believe he has gone through both Big T (e.g. a single life-changing event like a car accident) and Little T trauma (many ‘smaller’ instances, like getting yelled at four times a week over a duration of years), since this can certainly be the case for some people. In later parts of this exploration, I will cite examples of the various Big T and Little T traumas Hunter has experienced.
Like what happened with the book author, making mistakes is especially dangerous in Hunter’s case because Belos heavily implies that he will disown him or get rid of him if he slips up enough.
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Dozens of people have also let him down and have been bystanders:
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Is the world a threat to him? Well, there are very few places where he would feel safe. Hell, I bet he’s even safer while away on missions than when he is in his own room. But he always had to return home to the castle, or else. He has been manipulated into placing the most trust in the one person who cares the least for him.
In the following section, the author highlights how she would see flashes of her abusive father in other people, even years after her father left the picture:
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For Hunter, being physically distant from Belos didn't erase his triggers. Him preparing for a possible strike from Darius in Any Sport in a Storm:
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and the mirror scene in Thanks to Them, where he panics after seeing a flash of Belos as he is looking at his own long hair:
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are relevant examples of him feeling as if his abuser is right there, when Belos isn’t actually present.
I have a few of my own examples, the first of which is how I had a couple of peers in classes who had bullying tendencies: and they would have crooked smiles and narrowed eyes that are eerily similar to my own parents’ expressions whenever I had traumatizing moments with my parents. Whenever these people had those evil-looking grins, I would either feel intense fear and/or rage.
Plus on two different occasions, I thought an abusive ex-housemate of mine that I lived with for 2 years was in the same room..many months after I got away from her.
The first incident was seeing someone who looked almost exactly like her (her beanie hat, black coat and black boots were the exact same shades and shapes), just a different hair colour and slightly diff eye shape, in a bookstore. Till today I still have no idea why this other girl stopped whatever she did just to stare at me with a sullen expression across the store space for maybe half a minute. I remember freezing and hiding behind the two friends I was with, whispering to them “I feel like that could be her…”, in case that girl turned out to be really her, because I felt she was still not done with criticizing my mistakes from our shared group project and saying awful things to me several months before that, even though I already blocked her across all platforms in 2015 and made a callout post here on Tumblr without naming her.
The second incident was a year after, when I was at the office and scrolled past a photo of Kristen Stewart (of all people..my ex-housemate looks a lot like her, especially the mouth) on my laptop, and for a solid minute I very strongly smelled this ex-friend’s perfume. I remember darting around wildly because I was beginning to believe she had followed me all the way there to sneak up on me, in the office that had doors locked with security codes. I felt she was about to turn a nearby blind corner and come for me. But the scent faded away after a minute, and I was left there in shock that my broken brain reenacted a scenario involving her presence and her perfume. Fascinating, honestly. Luckily Kristen Stewart pics no longer scare me like that.
So yeah, the Hunter mirror scene…I felt that spooky stuff. Eerie, right? PTSD, what more Complex PTSD, can rewire your brain and it does try its best to protect you, but it can be rather wonky sometimes. Children who are abused in a manner that results in Complex PTSD are hyper-alert to even the smallest twinges in facial expressions.
To continue:
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Our poor boy might have been jumpy and guarded in a number of other scenarios, potentially misinterpreting or simply not knowing what was going to happen, therefore his whole body was geared up for a fight-or-flight response:
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Thank goodness he had Flapjack in those months, along with the friends he would meet, and later Camila as well.
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Like the author, Hunter definitely does not have one foundational trauma. Having been isolated by Belos, he was alone and defenseless in that throne room many many times. He has emerged with so many visible scars on his body and having to create his own identity on his own terms. At this rate, exposure therapy would not be enough as a treatment plan for him. His web of relationships and interactions with people and the world need a major reframing, for his state of being and view of self to be positive and leading to peace and self-acceptance. In fact, this reframing has already been unfolding gradually, with twists and turns along the way:
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And losing Flapjack recently and feeling the effects of moral injury, may be the ultimate test for him as to where to place his trust. One of those places has to be in himself in order to advance forward.
The book is about how the author found hope in having to live with Complex PTSD for the rest of her life, and her early years of investigating what happened to her seemed bleak. However, she found relevant people to contact and interview over the years, to uncover new hopeful sources of info about the condition, which will be in my later analyses.
Is Hunter a lost cause (quoting Belos’s awful words from Thanks to Them..)? I wouldn’t say so! I obviously hope he’ll be alright in the remaining two specials…
Stay tuned for Part 2 next weekend.
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I Wanna
Yakuza!Pedro Pascal x Reader + Baker!Oscar Isaac x Reader
Summary: You fell in love with the leather jacket wearing thug named Pedro, and even after finding out he was part of the yakuza, you married him against your family's will. What happens when your marriage comes crumbling down and his best friend, Oscar, comes picking up the pieces?
Word Count: 4k+
Warnings: Yakuza/Baker AU ok? ok, CRACK FIC, anime parody (ie, cringe cliche anime scene descriptions, romanized japanese~, etc.), fem!reader, Wife!Reader, infidelity/cheating, hurt/comfort, mentions/depictions of violence, fluff, angst, did i say crack fic?, typos etc.
A/N: I know its says pedro and oscar, but its not really them ? HAHHA just dont take this too seriously 💀. It started with this tiktok and me thinkin it was a damn telenovela. then the pic of pedro in this moodboard made @sloanexx say 'yakuza pedrosan' and i was like 😀😀BESTIE THATS AN IDEA then this other tiktok happened and then it sewed everything in place. Cross posted on my ao3 Tagging: @pinksirensong @aralezinspace @amis-love-bugs @top1bbgloak @sunfairyy @djarinsstuff @mooniesyubi @pedropascalgirly @mmmmandoz @multifandom-fangirl4
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▶ Play ♪ 'I Wanna' by The All American Rejects
The bell chimes as the door opened. I pull my head off my hand and pause the funny cat compilation video I was watching. I straightened up where I was leaned on the front counter, standing from my stool. I put on a fake smile and greet, "irasshaimase~ Welcome to the Starlight Cafe!"
I close my eyes as I grin. Gosh, I hate my job.
I hear the customer walk over to me. When I open my eyes, I let out a gasp when I see his face. The wind blows. Cherry blossoms drift with the breeze. His leather jacket glimmers. His shades glint as he pushes them down slowly. He flips his short hair. It barely moves.
I let out an audible gasp. My eyes glitter, "so pretty."
He knits his brows, "nani?~"
"What?"
"What?"
"What-" I clear my throat as I am snapped out of that maladaptive montage. I chuckle softly, "what would you like to order?"
The man looks at me through his lowered glasses and then with a swoosh, removes his glasses. I gasp again, clutching my chest. I whisper under my breath, "sugoi~"
"Mmm," he hums, crossing his arms, titling his head, "what would you recommend, cutie pie?"
My background turns pink. Heart shaped sparkles appear in my eyes. I gasp, he just called me cutie pie? He thinks I'm cute?!
"A- I-" I suck in a breath and carefully offer, "a lot of our customers order the triple chocolate frappe. It has a choco base, choco syrup, and chocolate bits."
"Mmm," he hums again, "I didn't ask what the other customers order," he leans in toward me, our faces inches apart, "I asked for your recommendation."
The whole world turns black. My heartbeat is magnified. I feel my entire body burn, "I-"
The man leans on the counter, placing the shades in his hand on his head. He raises a brow, "well?"
I suck in a breath and mutter, "s-strawberry."
"Hmm? What was that, cutie pie?" A smirks plays on his lips.
"I like iced strawberry lattes," I retort.
He pulls back and leans on one leg. He chuckles, "kawaii~" then nods, raising two fingers, "2 iced strawberry lattes then."
I nod gingerly, punch in his order, "could I just get your name for the order?"
His name rolls off his tongue smoothly, "Pedro."
Ah... Pedro-san~
I tell him his total and take his payment. I hand him his recipt. The world moves in slow motion as he takes it from me. He says a quick thanks and walks off. His boots click across the empty cafe. He sits down on sofa chair next to the window and props his elbows on the back rest, crossing his legs as he looks out. Pink blossoms fall from the sakura tree outside. He smiles at the sight of it, "I've missed Tokyo."
I cannot stop looking at him as I make his order. With every step, every mix, every pour, every shake, I steal a glace of Pedro. I couldn't help myself. That was, until I saw him looking back at me.
I drop the jigger onto the counter with a loud thud. I freeze and look away from him. Shit.
Pedro's lips curve into a soft smile. He whispers under his breath, "baka~"
Stupid.
From then on, I focus only on finishing his order.
When I do, I place the two cups on the counter and call out, "2 iced strawberry lattes for Pedro."
Pedro turns to me. He stands from his spot and walks over. He smiles and takes the one latte, examining the perfectly placed strawberry slice on the cream, then pokes a straw through the plastic cover. He brings the straw to his lips and takes a sip. I watch him with anticipation, clenching my fists tightly.
He pulls the cup away and licks his lips.
I gulp heavily.
Pedro smirks, "refreshing."
I let out a soft sound of relief.
He then takes another straw then pokes it into the other cup. He pushes the cup across the counter, towards me, and mutters, "enjoy the treat, cutie pie."
My jaw drops as I look down at the counter. He- he... bought this for me?
Pedro takes another sip of his drink with a playful look on his face, "see you soon, strawberry."
With that, he turns around and walks away. I gasp when I see the print on his jacket. He was... a gangter? Yakuza?
I watched him as he stepped out of the cafe and crossed the street. My eyes widen when he looked over his shoulder and winked at me.
"That guy is nothing but trouble," I mutter to myself.
Little did I know that I would go on to understand how much trouble he really was, because one day, I would become his wife.
I remember the day he asked me, the day he promised it all to me.
I had since stopped working at the cafe and got an office job at a high paying firm. He had gotten into a fight with my overbearing co-worker who incesantly kept walking with me on my way home from work.
Pedro told me he wouldn't be able to pick me up that day even after I begged over and over to, because I didn't want ot be alone with my slimy co-worker. Little did I know that he planned it all. He knew my co-worker would persist and I wouldn't be able to get him to back off.
When we were a few blocks away from our office, walking the down the street I dreaded walking because it was dark, he came out of nowhere. Pedro popped up in front of us, scaring both me and my co-worker. The next thing that I knew, Pedro had the man by the collar and slammed him against the wall.
I was too shocked to react and I couldn't hear a word he was saying because Pedro whispered to him.
Once he released him, the man went running the other way. When Pedro turned to me, I gasped at the state of him. He had a busted lip, blood on his brow, a black eye, and the jacket he wore all the time was torn on the sleeve.
He whispers my name, eyes unable to meet mine.
I look at him as the orange streetlight gave me a vague view of his face, "wha-"
"I'm not a good man, in fact, I'm a horrible man," he mutters.
"Pedro-"
"Matte~" he mutters, "wait... just let me say this."
His face darkens as he hangs his head low. He rumages through his back pocket and pulls out something, "I don't think I can ever change," he slowly takes my hand. My cold hands burn in his hot one, "but I know for a fact I can never live..."
I gasp as I look down at my hand.
"- if I don't have you," he says, slipping a ring on my finger. Even through the darkness, I could see that the silver ring was reddened with blood.
"I did it for you," he says, making my eyes dart back up to his face. Pedro continues, "I killed my boss for you."
A shiver runs down my spine.
"I'm the boss now."
"Pedro-"
"Nothing will ever stand in our way," he steps forward, taking both my hands in his, "I would give you anything you want, everything you need," he bends to look up at me, "I would place Tokyo in the palm of your hand."
"Pedro..." I speak warily, "I- I don't need Tokyo..."
Pedro's face falls. He lets out a shaky breath. He straightens up and looks at our joined hands. He feels his eyes water. He feels his grip loosen.
I grip his hands before he lets go, "I just need you."
Pedro looks up. He looks at me. He feels his world light up. He feels the surroundings glow. He tightens his hold on me then gets down on one knee, "marry me."
I suck in a breath and nod, "I-"
I do.
I marry him.
I marry him against all the wishes of my family, effectively isolating me from all my relatives. I quit my job due to proximity issues, but in truth, I didn't need one anymore. Pedro lives up to his words, he gives me anything I want, everything I need; he placed Tokyo in the palm of my hands and yet-
It all fades.
Where once I beamed at his arrival, I now broke down in dread as I watched him crawl back to me.
I'm not in the mood for your lectures. I told you not to wait up. Strawberry, I had to take this job. Stop it. You wouldn't understand. I do this for you. I do this for you.
I DO THIS FOR YOU!
"I didn't ask you to do this for me," I sob against my knees as I pull my legs into me.
It was horrible. Pedro was working more than there were hours in the day. There was barely anything left of him when he came back. There was barely anything left of us.
"Oi, oi, oi~" a soft voice attempts to calm me.
I lift my puffy eyes as I look at the grey world before me. I watch as the curly haired man places a tray on the table and kneels down next to my chair, "what has you crying this time, puddle girl?"
Puddle girl. He called me this because I jumped in a puddle and splashed him the day we met.
He places a hand on my shoulder and shakes his head, "you don't have to worry about anything."
My voice breaks at his words. I sob, "Oscar-"
"Listen to me," he says, getting back on his feet, though he stays hunched to meet me at eye level, "Pedro is a dummy. He doesn't listen to me, he doesn't listen to you, but-" he raises a finger, "he listens to himself."
I sniffle at his words. I watch him as he straightens up.
"Show him what he's missing. Show him what he does this for, what he really does this for," Oscar says, placing his hands in his pockets, "did I ever tell you I made him buy me a bi-"
"Bike when you were still in school by convincing him it was him that broke yours," I continue his story for him through a stuffy voice.
Oscar chuckles. He presses the back of his hand on his lips as he does so, "ahhh," he sighs, "have I said it that much? Gomen~"
The sound of his voice makes the greyscale world seem brighter--happier. He chuckles again, running his hands through his hair. Sunshine cascades over his body, highlighting the curve of his toned chest through his dress shirt with three undone buttons. There is a sparkle that lingers on his bicep as he does this.
"Don't be too sad," Oscar says, pulling out a hanky from his pocket for me. He offers it with a smile and cocks his head to the side, "I made you a croissant and hot chocolate to cheer you up."
When I take his hanky and turn to the tray, I see the magic of his cooking waft in the hair. The smell of the food goes straight to my lungs and I realize in this moment just how hungry I was.
I shift in my spot, wiping my tears, reaching out for the pastry in front of me.
The bell chimes as the door is opened.
"Moshi moshi~" Oscar smiles, greeting the customers who walked into his bakeshop. I watch him as he attends to the old couple, leaning down to meet them eye level. My heart clenches when the old woman pinches his cheek.
The world suddenly has a golden haze.
I take Oscar's words to heart and put his plan into action.
I made it a point to do all the things I loved doing with Pedro and told him all about it. I made plans with him: I reserved dinner dates in our favorite places, bought tickets for movies we'd both like, wore the clothes I knew he liked me in, kissed him in spots that made him weak. I did it all, knowing he couldn't dare resist.
And yet he did.
At first, he would say he would try to make it to the date, then that he was too tired. Sometimes he'd cave and I'd have him right where I wanted him. Eventually, he began brushing me off.
He said he couldn't do those silly things right now.
"He said that?!" Oscar snapped, eyes wide in offence as I sob while recounting my latest encounter with his best friend. He fumes, "oh, I swear, I'm going to beat him up."
"Oscar, please."
"No, no-" he shakes his head rapidly, "I have to teach that rat a lesson."
"You're going to get yourself hurt."
"Well, you've been getting hurt," he counters.
I rub my eyes, no longer wanting to talk about this, as exhaustion begins to creep up on me.
The night air creeps up on me as a bunch of cars pass by the street of Oscar's closed bakeshop. For a moment, there was only the sound of tires on asphalt that filled the air.
"I've got it," Oscar mutters, "we'll make him jealous."
My face contorts in confusion and exhaustion, "nani?~"
"There's nothing that will make a man go crazy more than seeing his girl with someone else."
I huff and shake my head, "that's a horrible idea."
Oscar shakes his head too, grabbing my hand. I gasp when he does this. I look at him through my wet lashes. His brows furrowed. His eyes had stars in them. He mutters my name softly. A wind brushes through his hair as he did so, "trust me. I'm going to help you get your love back."
I look at him as he smiles.
"And anyway, it's just pretend," he reassures.
It really was.
Just pretend...
... at least at first.
Pedro grumbled as I giggled at the ice cream I smeared on his nose. He gives me a stink eye as I take a tissue and wipe the pink cream off him.
"It was an accident, darling," I say sweetly.
Pedro snorts and leans his forhead against mine, "of course it is," he pulls back as I giggle. A smirk plays on his lips as he licks his ice cream, "who would dare disrespect the big boss?"
I roll my eyes at his words. I nearly chew him up for it, but then I catch sight of Oscar and my attention is averted.
"Oscar-san!~" I call out.
Oscar raises a hand as he walks over to us.
"Pedro," Oscar says, patting him on the shoulder.
Pedro chuckles, nodding to him in regard, "Oscar."
Oscar looks between us, "any ice cream for me?"
"Sorry, we just got two," I retort.
Oscar pouts.
Pedro bites on his cone, "get your own."
Oscar turns to him, then back to me, "we should get one later."
I nod and smile, "okay."
Pedro furrows his brows, "later?" He tilts his head, "what's happening later?"
I mimic his expression, "don't you remember, Pedro? I told you I bought tickets for Barbie, but you said you couldn't watch it with me, so I invited Oscar to watch with me instead."
Pedro tenses. Oscar and I look at him as he slowly nods. "Ahh," Pedro says, "that's smart," he licks his ice cream, "better than not having anyone use the ticket."
Needless to say, I was quite dejected on our way to watch Barbie, as our plan didn't work at all.
"Don't worry about it, puddle girl," Oscar nudges me lightly with his elbow, "it's going to work."
"Work how?!" I blurt, "he thought it was a good idea!"
Oscar leans in and smiles, "in time."
"Pedro!" I call to him weeks later after that day, "do you like my outfit?"
Pedro, who was knee-deep in paper work, darts his eyes up and gazes at me through his glasses, barely shifting on his office chair. He looks me once over and nods, "yes, very pretty dear," he looks back to his desk, "are you going somewhere?"
"Hai~" I nod, stepping out of his office, "Oscar is going to pick me up in a few minutes."
Pedro pulls his head back and does a double take upon hearing this. He removes his glasses, "wait," he shakes his head, "Oscar?"
I nod again as I open the door, "hai~ He's taking me out dancing with my high school friends."
Pedro's brows furrows, "that's tonight? You said that was going to be next week."
"Pedro," I shake my head, "I told you that one week ago."
"But I-"
"Don't worry," I raise a hand, "Oscar agreed to come. I asked him this morning."
"This morning?" Pedro muttered, "that's such short notice."
I chuckle, "yeah. He needs to get a girlfriend." I step out of his office.
"Yamete!~"
I stop and turn back, finding Pedro was walking over to me. He places his hands on my shoulder and looks me up and down. "Beautiful," he whispers, placing a kiss on my lips. I am shocked my his affection, and my eyes widen as I gasp. When he pulls away, he brushes my cheek, "I love you."
I look at him, heart soaring at his words, "I love you."
A crack of thunder comes after a bolt of lighting rips through the dark grey clouds.
"I love you," Oscar says, body dripping in rain water.
I shake my head, eyes mimicking the sky, refusing to let him in. I close the small gap in the front door. He risks his fingers and toes by jamming them in to keep me from shutting him out.
"Onegaishimasu~" his voice breaks, "please don't make me go."
"Oscar," I whimper, eyes falling to the floor, unable to meet his gaze. I watch as water drips from his fingers, "everything about this is wrong."
"I know it is," he says and thunder cracks again, "I know it is."
I feel my cheeks burn because of my tears, "then leave. You know it's the right thing to do."
"But I don't want to leave-"
I sigh, "Oscar-"
"-and I know you don't either."
I don't respond to him.
There's another roll of thunder.
My skin pricks with goosebumps when he says my name the way he did, the way Pedro used to, the way Oscar always does.
"I love you," Oscar cries under his breath, "I love you so much that it hurts me to. It hurts because I love Pedro-" he growls, "-and hate him at the same time."
I finally look up to him, seeing just how distraught he was.
"I hate how he's done this to you," Oscar mutters, "I hate how he's pushed you aside and hurt you so much."
My tears travel down my neck.
"I hate how he has you but takes you for granted," he grits his teeth, "I hate that he has you. I hate that you met him first. I hate that you loved him first. I hate that I want you so bad. I hate-- I hate that things are the way they are."
And I know.
"You've made me into a puddle boy, puddle girl."
I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help myself. I opened the door for him, slowly letting it creak.
Oscar drops to his knees in front of me. He embraces my legs and mutters, "tell me to go away-"
I brush his dripping hair back.
"Tell me to leave you alone and get help for doing this to you."
"Oscar..."
He looks up at me, eyes red and tried.
I know.
I really do. I know I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help myself. I leaned down and kissed him.
That was it.
That was the end.
That was the day I chose to leave Pedro for Oscar.
I really did mean to. I meant to tell it to his face, to own up to the treachery, to confess my sins-- our sins, mine and Oscar's, his lover and his friend, two people that should never betray you. We meant to tell it to him upfront, but he made it impossible.
Between him not having time to see either of us, he didn't have the energy to even listen to anything other than his work.
So I left it all on his desk, a thank you, a sorry, an explanation, an I love you, and divorce papers.
The truth was, it took him 5 days to realize it was there, 5 days to realize it had already ended, 5 days to realize he'd been alone all this time.
Pedro dropped the handwritten letter on the floor and ran out of this office, screaming out a name no one would answer to. He bust through every door, every room in the hollow mansion, opened every light in every hall, and only then did it dawn on him that was it.
That was the end.
That was the day he crumpled the evidence of his greatest betrayal and grabbed his gun.
He was not in his right mind. He didn't think of taking his car, he didn't think about breathing, all he thought about was how dare they? How dare they do this to him? How dare they cast him aside? How dare they throw him away?
The world was blurry. The world was pixelated. He could not see the faces of anyone around him. They had no faces. They looked like painted background figures. They looked like melting wax.
Pedro's eyes were wide and his pupils were shrinked. His breathing was jagged and the gun stuffed in the back of his pants felt cold against his burning skin.
The world was like a coloring book vandalized by a child who could not keep the color in the lines. He slammed into faceless painted figures and melting wax, speaking no apology. He paid no attention to the noise of the outside word, none to the deafening honks of cars nor to the rattling of people.
He's at a thousand, he's sweating in this sweltering afternoon, then suddenly he's at a zero, the world goes silent.
He can only hear his breathing as he looked through the window of his friend's bakeshop. He can only hear himself demand answers in his mind as he watched his lover smile in a way that should have only ever been meant for him.
He watches as laughter comes. He watches as smiles are exchanged. He hyperventilates as lips meet lips. He pulls out his gun as he swears he hears an I love you whispered.
Oscar and I whip our heads when a piercing shriek rings from outside the bakeshop. The girl who screamed ran away, making everyone around her panic and run too.
I stand from my seat by the window, spotting the man across the street. A shiver runs down my spine.
Oscar, who was right behind me, tells me to stay put as he exits the shop. I don't. I follow after him.
"Pedro," Oscar calls and raises a wary hand.
Pedro clenches the handle of his firearm and turns off the safety, "shut up."
"Pedro," I whimper, coming to Oscar's side.
He points the gun to me and grits his teeth, "SHUT UP!"
On instinct, Oscar grabs my arm and pulls me behind him. In turn, Pedro steps onto the road and shakes his head, "DON'T YOU TOUCH HER!"
And as much as I was terrified, still, I circled around Oscar and raised my hands, "Pedro, please-"
Pedro's tears begin to burn down his cheek, "how could you do this to me?! ... with my only friend."
"I know," I shudder as I step forward, "it's all my fault. I-"
"It wasn't her fault-" Oscar yanks be back, walking in front of me, "it was my idea to do this-"
"Oscar," I call.
"-I convinced her to do things with me to make you jealous. It's all-"
"I decided to do those things!" I pull Oscar by the arm, turning to Pedro, "I cried to him about you everyday. He had no choice but to help."
Pedro's brows furrow tightly at the sound of Oscar calling out my name. Oscar and I continue to argue out our guilt.
The only reason we don't get into a fight is because gunshots crack through the air. Oscar and I hunch and huddle together.
Pedro marches forward as he shoots. He empties his magazine.
The next thing I know he's standing in front of us. My heart is racing. My hands are squished in Oscar's. Pedro is still firing his gun even though there were no more bullets left. I watch as the man I loved pulled the trigger on a gun pointed to the sky.
He drops his arm first, then his weapon, then is on his knees.
The man I love called out to his friend, "Pedro-"
"How could you do this to me?" Pedro mutters, eyes gazing upon our feet. He feels his throat constrict as tears drop onto the road, "I love you," he shakes his head, "I would do anything for you," he looks up. His eyes are red and puffy, "how could you do this to me?"
Neither I nor Oscar get to respond as sirens blare and a squad of police come running toward us. We are all ordered to put our hands up. Oscar and I do so and are apprehended. They begin to grow hostile towards Pedro when he does not move an inch from where he knelt.
I watch as three officers apprehend him with way more force than neccessary. They drag him up to his feet so hard his shirt rips. He wasn't even fighting back.
"OI!~ He didn't hurt anyone!" I call to the police around him.
Oscar speaks out, "we're not pressing charges. He didn't do anything."
"Didn't do anything? That man has hurt more people than you can count," the policewoman who had her hand on my shoulder says with contempt.
The policeman by Oscar's side scoffs, "that's the most wanted criminal in Tokyo," he spits to his side, "good fucking riddance."
Pedro is cuffed and sequentially jammed into the back of a police car.
"If you two follow us," the policewoman says, motioning to another police car, "we'd like to take you to the station for questioning."
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