#you just learn how to cope

[literaryadventures]

i’m so happy that it hurts

full to the brim with joy and peace

bursting at the seams,

surrounded by love.

i hold my younger self with care

gentle with her heart,

living proof that when they say

“it gets better”

it really does.

#poetry #literary adventures writes #literaryadventures writes #mine #poem #writing #writings #sab #yo my good dudes they aren’t lying when they say it gets better #but like it’s so different #cuz stuff still sucks #you just learn how to cope #and then by default the stuff that sucks doesn’t suck so much anymore #also i love every single person in my life who i give my time to with a very full heart

[batcavescolony]

I always see his page from graduation day

And yeah good. But

The next page is Donna and Dick spying on them. And I feel like that's not talked about enough.

#comics #dc comics #robin #tim drake #dick grayson #nightwing #donna troy #troya #kon el #superboy #conner kent #Titans/Young Justice: Graduation Day number 2 #also dick timmy stalked you. of course hes gonna act like you. he learned his... very healthy coping mechanism from you #graduation day #young justice #young just us #titans #teen titans #dc titans #also is kons suit like a shirt and pants? i thought it was like a body suit. or does it have clips or something? how does it not ride up? #comic logic is ots designed however the artist think with no consistency but still odd

[jonphaedrus]

been seeing a lot of posts about how glasses (and the way society acts about normalized glasses/vision correction) are great examples of how important accessibility tech for disabilities—and effective monetary coverage for those things—is. took a walk today without my glasses and remembered all over again that those posts are right and the normalization of glasses as accessibility tech, as fashion, as something people just "have" is essential and very good but also we should never forget they are actually correcting for a disability.

if you need glasses—even if your vision is fine without them, but especially if your vision is really significantly impaired without them—there's no piece of advice i wish people talked about more often than the fact that you should always, always always, have a contingency plan of how to get around without your glasses. you should know how to change the accessibility settings to make your phone or computer usable, even if you don't have your glasses on while you're doing it. if your vision is significantly impaired enough without your glasses that you wouldn't feel safe moving around outside of the home, you should look into getting, and learning to use, a tactile cane. you should know how to read the tactile labelling for elevators and signs and recognize where you are without being able to read street signs. you should keep the stuff to repair your glasses in your bag/purse/suitcase, you should know how to navigate your home, feed yourself, clean yourself, and find and ask for help without your glasses.

my vision was already significantly impaired before i broke my glasses in 2018, but i "technically" see 20/20 with my correct scrip and i hadn't taken the time to be proactive with accessibility tech on my phone or my laptop. i could get around without them using a tactile cane and backup sunglasses and having walked around the city without them, but i couldn't check my email, grade my papers, play games with my friends, or call my husband for help. i had to crash-course learn all of that in less than a week.

making use of accessibility technology to make things easier to use without your glasses can make it easier to use with them on, too. reducing eye strain and headaches because the font is of a size that's more readable or you have twilight cutting your blue light or you have tinted lenses that help fix glare from fluorescent lights or the sun, redoing the colors on a game to be easier to see or turning off significant shadows, marking buttons on your remotes or your keyboards or your light switches, being able to find food in your kitchen without having to check labels, all of that?? there's nothing wrong with that. you should learn to do it.

in a worst-case scenario, where you break or lose or don't otherwise have your glasses, being able to do basic tasks like use your phone, navigate around outside your home, or get food could save your life. the rest of the time, there's no reason to make seeing harder on yourself, and these technologies exist to be used.

i just wish more people, especially more people who are significantly vision impaired without their glasses, would be proactive and make plans and learn how to exist without their glasses. it's important! it's really important! don't forget that they're still accessibility technology correcting for a significant disability!

#post brought to you by vision impaired guy #please my friends.... learn how to live with and around your glasses. #there's always the possibility of something going wrong #and maybe your life will be easier if you look at other coping mechanisms that aren't JUST corrective lenses

[uncanny-tranny]

Your life isn't a to-do list. You're allowed to exist, to take life as slow as you'd like. The dreams you have won't suddenly disappear. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, or to engage with "childish" things, or to recover, or do what you need to.

#positivity #encouraging words #life doesn't need to be a speedrun or a 100% run #sometimes it feels like i'm wasting my life but... who gets to tell me what is wasteful? i'm surviving out here and that's okay #and it's okay if you're also somebody who people think is 'wasting your life' #that's such a meaningless and frankly a very cruel thing to say to a person #because you'll see people call somebody's life wasteful because they're simply coping with disability/mental illness/grief/ect #it's a meaningless saying to tell somebody how YOU think they're wasting life. your life isn't a waste point-blank #we ought to be kinder to ourselves for choosing what we want/need out of our lives rather than placating to what is imposed on us... #...or the expectations we impose on ourselves #be kinder to yourself whenever you can. it's hard as hell but please choose kindness toward yourself #just something i thought about and felt like it was impirtant to me #i couldn't complete high school 'on time' because of covid and because i was in crisis. i felt so much shame about that. i felt stupid... #...i felt unworthy. but who decided that i am those things? the crisis i was in could have killed me. i couldn't deal with school then... #...it humbled me because i had to learn that i am not immune to needing to be kind to myself. i am human - i'm not a mindless drone... #...you aren't a mindless drone either. you are an individual. you deserve to feel safe. you deserve understanding and compassion... #...but not ONLY from others. you deserve it from yourself as well

[oceanwithouthermoon]

unpopular opinion for this area of tumblr, beware+also abuse talk warning

admittedly, all the super casual bashing of saikis dad makes me really uncomfortable, like i dont totally disagree but i wish we didnt just all do it in the middle of other completely innocent headcanoning 😭 its never tagged or warned..

my personal opinions on kuniharu are not as extreme as some are on here, like i think he sucks but i dont think hes a genuinely bad person, he was just thrown into a situation he didnt know how to handle.. he reminds me of those parents who prepare to have a baby and get pregnant on purpose, but then the baby has a disability and suddenly, everything changes.. because they didnt prepare for this unlikely scenario, but it happened anyway, and now they have to figure out where to go from here.. kurumi and kuniharu BOTH made mistakes and didnt handle their genius/psychic kids in ways they shouldve, but its because they werent prepared for it

#i think im mostly just trying to point out how people pretend kuniharu is the devil and kurumi is a saint #but did kurumi ever defend her kid? no.. she treated him in a similar way.. #shes a great mom imo but she really isnt much better than him and if youre gonna bash him you kinda have to bash her too #and do you think she ever told kusuke off when she emotionally abused her other son and called him a monster? no #she didnt #and eventually kusuke turned to physical abuse #because she never tried to tell him it was wrong #and yk what #i dont really think kusuke is a bad person either #i think he learned all of his crappy coping mechanisms from their parents #but he took it way further #nobody else hurt kusuo like kusuke did #physical abuse is never excusable but both kuniharu and kusuke think kusuo is above that kind of thing #they think he's invincible so it doesnt matter #which obviously isnt true but thats kinda also what he WANTS them to think.. so.. #so all three of them kind of suck but its because their situation sucks #lmk if u disagree cuz i think we should hear each other out #saiki k #tdlosk #kusuo saiki #the disastrous life of saiki k. #kuniharu saiki #kurumi saiki #kusuke saiki #meows post

[livinginteo]

I learned some bad news about Fin Fin Jr. and it turned into this...

Featuring a conversation between @the-jade-palace and @that-one-scratch-on-your-arm while testing Fin Fin on QEMU.

#death tw #death mention #fin fin #finfin #fin fin jr #finfin jr #fin fin on teo the magic planet #fin fin teo the magic planet #fin fin teo #and yes i was actually sad when i learned this so this is how i cope #you may be able to scare him away from the berries before he poisons himself but its not confirmed #and no fin fin cant die just jr??? #SHAAAAAAAAAUN #heavy rain

[deoidesign]

.

#ok finally making a post about meds #I've not ever tried taking medication before. I was sorta raised with that classic 'dont rely on meds you have to learn to manage without' #I mean I was also raised with the idea that therapy is stupid unless you have 'real' trauma. and also like idk. #can't stay home from school unless your temp is over 100 or you're throwing up. etc. very suck it up mindset #so I was just really nervous to start. also of course worried about losing myself or whatever I know that's a silly fear but #it's also a common fear for a reason!!! anyways #so I finally was like 'I need to do something' when I realized I was so anxious I couldnt even get myself to go outside alone #like I just don't want to do ANYTHING alone to a detrimental effect. and it was butting into my ability to do my work... #for various reasons. but then ALSO adhd has been a constant issue with my work as well! #it is SO hard to write and draw on a weekly pace like I am without being able to focus #my whole life I've had these terrible nightmares constantly and I've always woken up constantly in the night #sleep has always been terrible so I've always dreaded going to bed.. ESPECIALLy because it didnt even make me less tired #it was more something that I just did because I had to. #but going to bed was always terrible. there have been times I was too scared to go to sleep for weeks on end... #I've been mitigating this for years of course. and recently I've been taking melatonin which has been helping too. #but I've also always struggled to get up. because I've always been EXTREMELY exhausted #but also anxious of what the day might bring... idk. #anyways it has all hit a point that I was like okay. I am doing as many coping mechanisms as I can. the psych said they were good too #but... it just has never been enough. it's never been enough to make me not tired it's never been enough to make me not scared #so I finally talked to the doc about it. and she was like youve def got smth wrong basically. which yah I know.. but yknow #anyways so I started taking wellbutrin. and I am so frustrated now. because it's WORKING #that constant looming sense of dread is gone. I'm excited to get up. I'm excited to go to bed BECAUSE I'm excited to get up #I feel like for years I've been holding on to the idea that I have to get up because I have to put something good out into the world #and I've been clinging to knowing that if nothing else. I am able to help other people feel better. #but now for the first time in my life I'm like. free of it. I didnt even know it was possible... and I'm so sad how much I've lost out on #and so frustrated how my whole life I've been told to put up with it and push through it. and treated like a failure for it being too much. #and just. It has only been 2 weeks. but the lack of anxiety is SO noticeable I'm so... #I'll never miss it. the adhd is still pretty present but like whatever. I can manage that better. #and I'm just crying because of all this combined. #I just. I hope I get to finally be the best I can be now. for myself but also for you guys!

[magical-misfit]

Thinking about that one post that was like “Gerard wants to stay in the castle when war comes because he spent his formative years struggling to stay alive and survive and now he’s expected to do it again”

Like…yes you get it.

Gerard was ten.

And at ten years old he knew death better than others. He watched his first friend get eaten alive as part of the food chain at work, he nearly died at the teeth of a dog because he didn’t understand why it was weird for a talking frog to address a guard like a prince. A ten year old experienced near death for the first time and people still have the audacity to call him a coward.

He stayed in that pond for god knows how long (he states he’s thirty but we don’t know how long he and Elody have been married) and he waited for ages for someone to come find him, anyone really. That heron probably came by every day, same with the hunters and their dogs. How much death and injury did you think Gerard saw over those years in the pond? How much bravery and cleverness do you think he had to muster up in himself so as not to get eaten? No wonder he latched onto Elody and the castle life so quickly.

And when war comes at a time when he’s supposed to be free, a time when the curse has been broken and everything is fine, of course he flees. Of course he claims they can stay in their castle and be okay.

Because Gerard knows death. And he knows that if he leaves the castle again, he’s not sure he’ll make it back this time.

And he’s right. He doesn’t.

(At least that version of him anyway)

#neverafter #gerard of greenleigh #once again murph PCs have me going feral #neverafter spoilers #like gerard didn’t do anything wrong he was a kid! #and yes kids suck but you don’t turn them into prey because they annoy you #Gerard’s cowardice and materialism isn’t even that much of a flaw imo #it’s a coping mechanism for when he starts to come into contact with triggers for his PTSD #how long do you think he told himself ‘this is temporary’ while out in that pond? #like yes gerard is a flawed character but when you learn what happened to him can you really blame him? #ugh brian murphy you’ve done it again #idk it’s just like…yes rich people need to be humbled but gerard has been humbled his whole life #he learned his lesson and once he got complacent learned it again #and while I love Elody I do think it’s interesting to think about why she fell out of love with him #was it the complacency? #the materialism? #the supposed cowardice? #we saw why she fell IN love with him but why did she fall OUT of love with him? #I need answers

[blubushie]

Watching Mavis contemplate the idea of herself possibly being on the path to becoming an alcoholic is strangely cathartic after how she treated me for being an alcoholic. I'd say I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through on my worst enemy, and that's mostly true. I wouldn't wish the shit I've gone through in full on my worst enemy.

So I hope her recovery goes quick. But I also hope it sucks. I hope she gets withdrawals that she recovers from, but I hope she suffers the fevers and the chills and the cramps and the cravings and the agony. I hope she learns a lesson in how she enables and encourages the way society treats the struggling, the less fortunate, the downtrodden, the traumatised, the addicted.

I hope she learns something from this and never speculates or utters another fucking word about anyone else's coping habits or addictions. I hope she learns to stay in her fucking lane and not judge people for the methods they use to cope.

I hope she comes away with the knowledge of what her own medicine tastes like, and I hope it's bitter.

#mavisposting #tacking on that you wouldn't be having cravings for alcohol after only one drink the day before so she's defo lying for sympathy points #so y'know. as always. manipulative #i do genuinely hope she gets better if she is falling into addiction tho (which she's not because she's a liar) #but i also hope it sucks the whole fucking time she's getting better (which she won't because she's a liar) #i hope her withdrawals are short but also the worst thing that's ever happened to her #even if it's just one day of withdrawals. i hope she gets all the shit i coped with for weeks when i went cold turkey #i hope she learns how fucking hard it is and she never says another cruel word to or about addicts of any sort #i don't care if i sound cruel atp. it's 12am. i'm sleepy. i'm tired of the world's cruelty #and i'm especially tired of her woe-is-me manipulative lying bullshit #the utter fucking audacity she has to lie about this shit after everything she said about my alcoholism and drug use #she can get fucked royally actually. fuck her. i don't care. genuinely one of the worst people i've ever met and that's saying something

[autistic-katara]

there r fics that make u insane (so amazingly good it’s removed ur sanity) and then there’s fics that make u insane (you need to fistfight the author for how they did a specific thing that caused u to rant for hours)

#i know i just posted that other thing but ffs that is NOT how u handle someone in that situation everyone involved made everything 10x worse #yet it’s being treated like the right thing to do (which again ofc they’re cops they don’t understand harm reduction but still) like #seriously everything’s so forceful like u seriously think forcing ur friend to talk to u or forcing a patient to talk to a therapist under #the threat of being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is gonna make her feel comfortable talking to u? or anyone? she’s just gonna trust u #less and get better at hiding it and speaking of which the taking away all sharp objects thing makes sense in theory but like think abt it #for a minute she confirmed she isn’t suicidal and this is her only way of coping so do not just forcibly take away all her coping mechanism #like yes she is hurting herself but it’s a COPING MECHANISM. she’s coping with something. help her with that don’t just take away her penci #sharpers or whatever (which btw since she’s an adult she could easily buy more stuff and yk learn to hide it better) which again has to be #voluntary it isn’t gonna work if u force someone to do smthn they don’t want to like as ur friend u could’ve made it clear u care abt her #and wouldn’t judge her for anything and r here if she wants to talk don’t just say “you have to talk to me” and casually threaten #hospitalisation when she isn’t ready in the moment like seriously if this wasn’t a badly written fanfic she would completely stop trusting #bcz given that this wasn’t even done out of panic i would like ffs u are NOT doing any of this right #oops sorry ranted abt the bad fic in my tags- #it’s not where the author’ll see it and know it’s about them i don’t feel bad abt it #this was my first time even looking at stuff for this fandom so #cw self harm in tags #idk if i need to tag anything else for that 😭 #fanfic #ao3 #ryan shut the fuck up

[pesteringchum]

i think a lot about if jade would ever have been able to live a normal life.

had the kids never played sburb, what would’ve happened to jade? does she have citizenship anywhere? does she have a passport? does she have a birth certificate? if she ever got off the island, does she have any proof at all that she exists?

if she doesn’t and can’t get any, would she just stay on her island? would she die there, without ever being near a human other than her grandfather? would she die there, a distant memory of her childhood friends, who’ve long since grown up and joined society and no longer had time for her? would it be as if she’d never existed at all?

if she does get off the island and is able to join human society, would she even like it?

she grew up alone, aside from bec. she’s smart and curious, so she probably would want to go to university so she could do research. would she be able to live in a city packed with people people people and bricks and concrete and air pollution? would she learn that her social battery is a lot shorter than she thought, that the concrete and brick is colder than she thought, that even the air is more foreign to her lungs than she thought it would be? would she feel suffocated?

she grew up with bec constantly by her side, but many places dont allow dogs. would she feel separation anxiety? would she feel more alone than she ever thought possible, amidst more people she ever experienced in all years of her life combined?

would she return to her island? would she die there, lonely again but content but hungry for something she can’t stand? would she be remembered by her peers and professors? or would they, too, with time, forget her? would it be like she’d never left the island at all? would it be as if she’d never existed at all?

#idk if any of this makes sense #this is mostly projection bc i grew up chronically online but. #jade never stood a chance without sburb i think #she never rlly had irl human connection with anyone other than her grandpa #and you can only learn so much from tv and chatting to ppl online #physically being around people can be exhausting—let alone talking AND listening AND interpreting your interlocutor’s body language #does she have the tools to not only perform social existence but to also cope with how tiring it is? #if she chose to stay among society how long would it take her to learn body language and learn what her social limits are? #would she ever learn her limits or would she exist in a cycle of party party party -> burn out -> isolate self -> repeat? #without sburb i think she would have really struggled to Exist in an observable way #blipping in and out of existence; on and off the radar #which doesn’t make for stable relationships #sorry for all my jade angst hc’s she’s just my favourite blorbo to project onto <//3 #jade harley #homestuck #chum pesters

[einsteinbrosofficial]

What kind of accident happened that ended with a TNR and a rabies hold? Like I need to know about all of this

@sleepywinchesters Disclaimer do as I say not as I do. This is a story of hubris.

Cat professionals don’t judge me I know where I went wrong I just thought I was built different

Our TNR program only has one dropoff day a week & you have to make your appointment with # of cats ahead of time.

I have two traps so I’m aiming for 2, I’ve trapped for this colony before and it usually took multiple tries to get the right cats! Like I’d have to free at least 2 fixed cats for every unfixed one I caught.

I tell you this so my decision making doesn’t sound as stupid lol.

I was prepared to stake out these cats for hours at a time every night until my drop off appointment. So I start trapping like. 5 days early.

I also set up a big dog cage with some essentials in case I got any of them TOO early, which other cat people will see as red flag # 1 but I SWEAR makes sense with how much work I put into socializing these cats and I would not have pulled that move if I hadn’t been working with this cat colony since 2018.

Ok my dumb decisions have been detailed.

So anyway I literally set myself up with stakeout snacks and everything and I catch two cats within 10 minutes of trapping.

One of the cats I trapped is Charlie Chaplin. I’ve been feeding him about 4 years and he has a mustache and like a week before this he let me get within two feet of him without running.

I go to transfer Charlie to the dog crate (at my home where he’ll be chilling on the patio) and when I go to close the gate door behind him it got STUCK.

Charlie is terrified and he BOLTS and does an actually very beautiful leap DIRECTLY INTO THE POOL.

As I have since found out he’s largely blind in one eye! Which explains a lot of this! So he is now experiencing a pool for the first time in his life completely by accident.

I panic and start throwing all of my electronics off my person so I can jump in. He figures out swimming, escapes the pool, and then scales 10 feet of patio screen and starts trying to spider-man upside down across the roof.

Charlie then jumps down and proceeds to jump directly into the pool AGAIN! I jump after him because his head kept dipping underwater the first time (bc he has presumably never swam in his life before this) and I’m worried. I did not put on my wildlife handling gloves before this, which is another goof. I scoop under his tummy and I’m trying to carry him to the edge of the pool while keeping his head above water.

Anyway to Charlie this is actually even worse because he doesn’t know I’m trying to remove him from the pool, he bites the absolute SHIT out of my arm (valid), I get him to the edge of the pool and let go bc fucking ow, he JUMPS BACK IN THE POOL.

At this point my bonus sister tosses me a towel to grab him with and I manage to catch him safely and deposit him in the crate. Then I had a half hour long panic attack abt whether I had to euth him over me being stupid but I didn’t lol

If you’re unfamiliar with the protocol for potential rabies exposure, the literal only way to test for rabies is to euthanize the animal and biopsy their brains. There’s no way to test an animal while keeping it alive. A lot of the time if you’re able to you need to try and capture the animal that bit you and hand it over to whatever doctor you go to so they can send it for testing. Like. Secured though. Or already dead. Don’t give your doctor a loose potentially rabid animal.

HOWEVER, if the animal is a cat or dog specifically and is not otherwise showing obvious symptoms you have the option to isolate and observe them for 10 days. There’s research showing that dogs & cats who are far enough into the disease to transmit it (apparently they can’t transmit it during the incubation period, yay) will either show symptoms or die within 10 days. ONLY applicable to dogs and cats. If they show symptoms (or die) you send them to be tested, according to the county rabies coordinator I called about this.

I did not in fact have to get a rabies shot because we have already gotten past day 10 of his observation period and he’s chillin.

Also the other cat I caught early did fine, already got spayed and vaxxed and released. I just saw her earlier today when I went to check on the colony and she ran away as soon as she saw me lmao.

#now Charlie needs his appointment made so I gotta call them #this is WAY too long an explanation #but truly this whole thing is a story of my own folly #bc I fully know better than this!! #my decisions were dumb as fuck on multiple levels!! #you do NOT release TNR cats from the trap #I shouldn’t have released him I could have figured out how to get him food and water #I shouldn’t have trapped more than 3 days in advance too #I got way overconfident #mainly because I’ve trapped a lot of cats that were like fully able to be handled #because I’d been socializing them #but Charlie wasnt at that point #it’s not like the time I got fed up with soft boy not going in the trap and just scruffed him and lowered him in #I had pet him by that point that’s a whole different story #but also that’s the kind of story that like explains why I was so stupid #anyway! rambles #VERY grateful that I was able to observe him #bc I would NOT have coped with being the reason he got put down #bc I fully know better it’s the entire reason I even have those wildlife gloves #I use them when I have to get my hands near him now #bc lesson learned

[bunnihearted]

i thinkk that a huge part of why im so deeply unhappy is bc im a girl who is supposed to and needs to have a girl bestie - my other half. ever since i was a kid i've always had a girl friend who was my other half and who i talked to and hung out with every single day. now when i dont have that, and when it's also been 6 years since my last friendship like that, i feel profoundly lost and alone. i need another woman close to me who i love and can anchor myself in. who is my compass, my stars, my solid ground. lacking the love, support, comfort, loyalty and security of a strong and forceful love and friendship with another woman, i feel incomplete and lonely and unhappy. like something fundamentally important to the essence of my being is missing. and it completely messes with me on every level of my life.

#u can blab on abt 'u need to feel complete withing urself' blah blah fkn blah #idc and i think you're wrong bc every person is different #we and our brains work in different way #ways* #regardless if you wanna sit there and say uhhh this is wrong! this is bad! this is unhealthy! #yeah blah blah it doesnt matter what you say or think. things just are the wY they are #and i dont give a single flying fuck if i 'should' learn how to cope blab blahhhhh #i WANT and NEED a female friend like this in my life #and as long as i dont have one i am incomplete. even if some ppl wanna whine abt how toxic that is #i am not complete by myself and can only be completed with a woman who im bffs with #it's like somewhere between besties and lovers. bc even if theres some sort of homoerotic energy #i dont want nor need it to be romantical love bc thats not strong enough and idk #idk i cant explain but it's just that very highly specific friendship women can have w eo #im made for that. i need that. #i've been thinking abt my past life and friends a lot lately #and i just realized this today #there has been gaps before but most of my life i've had a close girl bestie like this #last time was 6yrs ago after high school #and since then it's been so bad. im deeply unhappy without that bond in my life

[scarefox]

This episode they really showed how Uea wants sex to distract himself to make the bad feelings go away for a while and King is the only safe option (not the best way of coping maybe atm but it gets better). Hope they will make him talk about it because I feel many in the audience still don’t understand the link between sex and comfort and coping especially for an abuse victim who always turns to it after triggering events (still think this part is more about the mom, cause whenever the stepdad is part of the trigger he can’t have sex or cuddles ... at least can’t enjoy it as we have seen in this episode). Shortly said, an orgasm gives you dopamine, and it’s all your mind and body focuses on in that moment. Reasons why this could end up in an addiction under the wrong circumstances. Under the right ones it can be therapeutic and have an antidepressant effect.

Uea is a bit torn with King. The caring side of King is an unexpected surprise for him every time. He doesn't really expect kindness from people. But he's glad whenever he receives it from people he trusts. Which King became a part of way too fast for Uea to admit (he’s a player after all). That’s why he rarely shows King his smiles when he’s fond of him. I think the cake scene was one of the rare moments he truly showed him this kind of vulnerability to him (him being truly happy, it’s a delicate feeling easily snatched away under his circumstances). He also took a long time to even understand that King really means it, that this birthday cake is really for him because King really wants to make him happy and he’s allowed to take it. I wonder if the little cake fight and unceremonial bite into the cake is an emotional defense from Uea to not get too deep into vulnerable emotions and turn it into fun / silly & sexy moment instead while still keeping the good vibe.

He’s not ready for an emotional bond with him yet when they clearly stated from the beginning this will just be about sex and they don’t even like each other (we all know that’s a lie). I suspect Uea has trust issues as well since his stepdad always acts nice, caring and misunderstood... so Uea needs a while to learn if people really mean it or if they just want something from him.

I bet that will become a big issue at some point, when they both think the other has no feelings while they secretly do have feelings. I fear Uea will push King away for a while when their feelings get clearer.

#bed friend the series #bed friend #ep4 #king x uea #here have another round of trauma and coping rumbling #the reason why I can understand Uea that well is because I also have a dysfunctional fam just not THAT bad (not physical) #and I got to a few bad people outside of my fam #I have a big urge almost a survival instinct to learn human behavior since childhood #as self-defense and to navigate through this world of neurotypicals as a neurodivergent person #I basically suck up everything about WHY humans do what they do. like criminals. what trauma does to you and how mental illnesses work etc #also all the psychology and science behind sex and sexuality (including k!nk and erotic) is a big topic for me #i don't just read about that stuff I watch recordings and documentaries and interviews as well #basically down to the core of fac.ial expressions and body language and thinking patterns #learned a few things from my therapist as well #not saying I am a certified specialist I just learned a few things through my life #and while this is obviously just a tv show they still did some research

[puppyeared]

adhd comix

#man i dont even have the energy to be mad. im just tired #like. dont u love it when your parents exhibit symptoms of ADHD and your sibling is diagnosed with a learning disability #and instead of thinking oh shit what if the other one has smth too. they subject you to The Horrors #i cant bring myself to hate my parents. but im tired of feeling obligated to defend them when the thing they think is working #isnt actually working and ive just found other ways to cope to avoid any sort of conflict. like lying and stealing. lol #if someone took me aside and said 'hey so your brain doesnt make as much dopamine as usual and its not a bad thing it just means you #need external stimulation and reward system to function and youre not actually secretly fucked up or lazy' as a kid #im pretty sure i wouldnt be here rn with half the problems i already have. unfortunately getting diagnosed late means u dont have a teacher #to back you up at a parent teacher conference that forces your parents to take this shit seriously instead of ignoring it hoping itll #go away on its own. but hey what do i know i have squirrel ipad baby disease. what do i know about my own symptoms #AND. AND i think im allowd to be mad bc ive been doing my own research on this for years before and after diagnosis #theyve been putting me thru the WORST parenting techniques on earth. which they could have corrected at anytime but they were #comfortable thinking they were doing it right and didnt bother to check if they were or werent fucking up their kid in the long run #and refusing to acknowledge it. i just!! they just decided one day hey lets make babies!! and just looked at books on how to make #a human being survive as long as possible!!! what the fuck!!!! #im sorry for putting this on ppls dashes but i am. so tired. of bottling this up. and im not looking for sympathy or anything i just need #to scream and clench my fists to SOMEONE about it because theyre not gonna take this well up the ass. sigh #yapping #vent

[juni-ravenhall]

the "but almost all games nowadays are exploiting children (and all ages) players?" type comments about the sso thing are just haunting me. the "but thats weird, why this?" reaction, instead of "hell yeah! we need to destroy exploitative manipulative advertising and companies that do this to people!"

ppl are so used to being bombarded with exploitative advertising and dishonest marketing and being manipulated and brainwashed and exposed to schemes to try to get you to waste money on useless gambling and subpar quality products. and ppl are so used to *children* being bombarded with that. that it feels okay to them. that it feels like "well, thats just how things are".

and i keep thinking about how extremely insane it is to me that ppl will be actively mad about fandom shit but NOT ACTIVELY MAD about advertising and exploitative tactics.

like. if you are mad about ppl saying "i hate this game", or by people drawing fanart you dont like, or whatever, if that somehow affects you personally emotionally (it really doesnt have to you know - its not a good place to be in) but youre. not everyday being personally emotionally affected by the fact that capitalists do this shit to everyone and to children who cant even fucking tell that theyre being advertised to. the children dont fucking understand that the companies are preying on them. they cant recognise advertising for what it is. they dont know quality standards. they dont understand what gambling is or why its bad. they dont know how to tell when companies are lying. they dont know how bad plastic is. they dont know how much all of this explotative capitalist shit can hurt them and everyone else and our planet.

it just drives me crazy. that ppl can be so upset about random things individuals online are doing who are not capitalist and not abusers and not exploiting children or vulnerable people, but youre not actively fucking screaming against capitalism, against how people are being killed in the name of Owning More and Making Money (the wars killing people are about money and resources and land!!! capitalism!!!), about the planet being destroyed, about human rights being violated, all these things, are less important to you (you dont get that upset about it everyday, you dont scream about it everyday) than some fucking random harmless people saying your favourite game or movie sucks, bc now thats a real issue, or someone writing a fanfic you think sucks, bc now thats a real issue, or someone telling you to stop being mean to harmless people is sooo awful what a crime cant believe your human right to free speech is being suppressed like that, while people are fucking dying to make your sweatshop fashion and your slavery chocolate.

boohoo i have real issues too, yeah heres the thing, im sure you do have a few real issues. like being ND is a real issue, or being queer, or being oppressed for how you were born, or how you look, all of those things are real issues. but if you get mad about fucking dumb ass fandom things like ppl criticising a game or disagreeing with you about a fandom topic (not a human rights one) or god forbid people telling you to be kinder and more respectful to others. if those are things you get mad at. and you go "huh but exploitative advertising and monetising towards kids is normal?" or "but theyre a company they have to do pay staff?" i just want to fucking scream

#im going insane about how nobody has a fucking sense of priorities i dont know how to fucking cope interacting with people #who are this fucking logically lost. im getting so tired of it. its exhausting. i feel sad for everyone who is brainwashed but #i also feel just exhausted. take accountability and responsibility and learn to prioritise and understand scope and scale #and stop fucking being mad at oppressed people doing random ultimately harmless shit when you cant even speak up against capitalism- #- against the entire fucking planet and humanity and animals being destroyed. i cant deal with you