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arlana-likes-to-write · 11 months

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Trust is Earned

Part 2 of Face to Face - I’m dedicating this story to @alicenter because her comment on the first part made me think of this story.

Summary: You weren’t used these types of comfort as you lay in a soft bed with to many pillows and blankets. Instead of sleeping, you walk around their house and see the memories they’ve built. But Melina accuses you of snooping and her distrust of you.

Warning: jealousy, fighting, bullet wound, distrust, family drama, mention of killing, mention of past abuse

Word count: 5.2 k

You stared up at the ceiling fan, watching it spin around and around. It was therapeutic in a way but you wished it would help you fall asleep. No matter how hard you tried, sleep wasn’t coming to you and you knew it. The bed was too soft, the room was too cold, and your mind wouldn’t shut up. With a heavy sigh, you swung your feet to the ground and walked out of the room. You weren’t sure what your plan was. But your feet walked you around their home. You saw pictures from Christmas, birthday parties, and trips to the capital. A tight feeling began to form in the middle of your chest. You picked up the old photo album from Ohio and flipped through the fake memories. It was a day you remembered so clearly, you shot Christmas, Easter, and summer vacation in one day. But Christmas was your favorite. All the brightly wrapped boxes that you knew were empty but you wanted to open every single one of them. Just for one moment, it would be real. “What are you doing?” You spun around to see Melina standing behind you. It was weird seeing her in a robe with slippers on but you didn’t miss the pistol in her hand.

“I was -”

“Snooping,” she grabbed the album from your hand. “Finding out all our secrets to report back to the Red Room.” Your eyes grew wide at the accusation. “So it’s true.” You snapped out of it.

“What are you talking about?” You questioned. “I’m helping SHIELD take down the Red Room,” she pointed the gun at you. You raised your hands, showing her you had no weapon on you. Now you were trained to be a weapon, similar to the train she’s gone through, but you were wearing Natasha’s extra sleeping clothes and you were extremely sleep deprived. Your brain was struggling to make sense of what was going on. “You don’t trust me.” You whispered.

“I want to,” she said. There was a slight shake of her hand. “I want to trust you so bad but I can’t,” your heart skipped and your stomach dropped. “But I know what they are capable of and I can’t risk the safety of my girls.” My girls. My girls. My girls. It was a mantra that echoed inside your head. All of a sudden, the room became too small and you could hear your heart pounding in your ears. My girls. My girls. You weren’t part of that. To Melina, you were disposable. You weren’t sure what hurt more her saying that or you believe her.

“What the hell is going on?” Natasha asked, appearing out of nowhere with Yelena behind her. It seemed like they were a packaged duo, one wasn’t far without the other. You weren’t a part of that. My girls. My girls.

“So,” your voice stopped the arguing between Melina and Natasha. “What’s the play, Melina? Are you going to kill me and I’ll become another red mark on your ledger or are you going to bring me back to Dreykov and let him do it?”

“No,” Natasha said, standing between you and Melina. “She’s not going anywhere. She is staying here where she’s safe and we can be a family again.”

“Natalia, we can’t trust her,” Melina said. “She’s been with them for years. This could be a trap to get the three of us back.” Three not four but three. Once again she didn’t add you, creating a division between you and them. My girls. My girls. Natasha, Yelena, and Melina. You weren’t a part of it.

“She was with them because she gave herself up to save us or did you forget about that night?” You didn’t want to be the driving wedge between them. You’ve been alone for years, what’s one more night?

“Maybe Melina’s right,” Natasha whipped around to stare at you. “I could be a target and staying here endangers your family. I wasn’t thinking and I was being selfish. I’ll get my stuff and head out, find a hotel, or stay with the team.” You pushed past Natasha and headed to the room that gave you. Not your room. A room. My girls. Three not four. You started throwing your stuff into the duffle bag, not worrying about how it looked. You turned to leave, almost running into Natasha.

“You don’t have to go,” she said. “I’ll convince Melina. I’ll..”

“It’s okay,” you said, cutting her off. “I don’t want to get in the way between you and her. I’ll be okay.”

“I called Maria. She’s expecting you. I’ll text you the address.”

“Thank you,” you shifted your weight from side to side. “I should get going. I didn’t mean to wake you and Yelena.” You had to get out. So you did, leaving her in the room that was supposed to be yours.

Maria opened the door before you could even knock. “Saw you on the camera,” she said as you raised your eyebrow in question. “You look like you could use a drink.” You laughed, bitterly as she stepped out of the way. You entered the house. Phil was at the dining room table, papers covering it and you saw Clint in the kitchen making a pot of coffee.

“Do you guys sleep?” You questioned as Maria closed the door.

“Not when we have more questions than answers,” Phil said, waxing at you as his greeting. You sat down at the small kitchen island, dropping your bag to the floor.

“So we have vodka, tequila, or beer,” Clint said, pouring coffee into a mug.

“Is it good vodka or American vodka?” You asked with a tilt of your head. Clint glared at you.

“I’ve known Nat for a long time,” he said, pulling the vodka bottle out of the fridge. “Do you know I’d offer you American vodka?” It pulled a small smile to your lips.

“I’m glad she had you,” Maria sat down next to you as Clint poured you a shot. “All of you,” you clarified, staring into the clear liquid. “You were there when I wasn’t. Cheers.” The liquid burned as it went down. “So, what can I do to help?”

You were sitting on the couch going over all the information SHIELD had on the Red Room. It wasn't much but mixed with what Melina had the answer to the 101 questions had to be in here somewhere. You were twirling a pen in your hand as you read over Peggy Carter’s notes. Phil and Clint called it a night but Maria stayed up and she was doing a bad job of being subtle. “You're staring again.” You said, closing the file you were reading. You switched to beer after your third shoot.

“Just putting a face to fall the stories I’ve heard about,” you raised an eyebrow at her.

“They told you about me?” You questioned. The agent nodded her head. That was hard to believe.

“You don’t believe me?” You smirked. “It was mostly Natasha. She told me about Ohio and that night at the airstrip. The few times I was at their house I’ve caught Melina staring at your door. I mistook it as a guest room and almost got shot.”

“Why are you telling me this?” You asked, turning to face her.

“Do you regret that night?” She asked instead. You leaned back, resting your back on the arm of the couch and your legs crossed in front of you. “Do you regret giving yourself to him?”

“No,” you whispered. “And I’d do it again. In any lifetime, I’d do anything to protect my sisters,” you took a sip of the beer. “I’d sell my soul a thousand times to the devil to keep them safe. I think that’s why it hurts so much that Melina doesn’t trust me,” you rubbed your hand across your face. “But once he’s gone for good, they’ll be safe and be a family again.” You turned to get back to work, ignoring the frown on Maria’s face.

“They’re your family too,” you closed your eyes, taking in a slow shaky breath and letting it out.

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “Once upon a time, they were. They’ve made a life here and I don’t know if I fit into it. I’m disposable.”

“Can you please talk to me?” Melina asked, pouring two cups of coffee for her and Natasha and orange juice for Yelena. Natasha was cutting up a pepper to throw in an omelet that asked for. She was cutting the vegetable a little too aggressively but it was the best way to give her anger an outlet.

“There is nothing to say,” Natasha mumbled, putting the peppers into the pan.

“You have to see it from my perspective,” the older Black Widow said. “My priority is to keep you girls safe.”

“Who is watching out for her?” Natasha hissed. She cleaned the knife before putting it away in the correct place. “We should have gone back for her.” She had so much guilt eating up inside her from that night. The gunshots that hit the plane kept her up at night.

“How?” Melina questioned, starting on Yelena’s lunch. “Please tell me how we could have saved her,” she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Your sister knew the consequences when she locked us out of that plane.”

“Now we have a chance to be a family again,” she placed the omelet on the plate. “But you don’t trust her. What's it going to take?” Before Melina could answer, Yelena entered the kitchen. She sat down in front of the omelet and orange juice.

“Do you think I’ll still be able to play tomorrow?” Yelena asked, cutting into the food. “Will it be safe?” Natasha grabbed the mug that Melina poured for her.

“I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “After I drop you off at school, I’ll regroup with the team. There will be an agent stationed outside the house and at your school.”

“What about you?” Yelena frowned.

“I’ll be fine,” she reassured her sister with a smile. “I’ll be with Maria or Clint at all times.” She nodded, pushing her food around her plate. Something else was bothering her, it wasn’t hard for Natasha to notice the change in her sister’s behavior. “What else is wrong?”

“What about Y/n?” She questioned. Now that was a great question. From what Maria told her, you refused a protection detail and were sounding self-destructive.

“She’ll be with me,” she said, ignoring the look on Melina’s face. “Once this is over, we’ll all be safe.”

You were standing in the kitchen, buttering a bagel. “Are you okay?” Clint asked. You didn’t look at the SHIELD agent.

“Yes,” you said. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He leaned against the counter with his arms crossed.

“Because it looks like you are going to murder someone with that butter,” you smirked, rolling your eyes. “I think you could.” Oh 100% but it would be a messy way to kill someone and not a cool way to die. The front door opened and Natasha walked in. Her green eyes immediately found you. They screamed ‘Are you okay?’ and ‘Please talk to me.’ You smiled, nodding your head. You hoped it conveyed everything you were feeling. “Ready to meet the boss man?” Clint asked, following you to the couch.

“Yeah,” you said, standing behind the couch while Clint sat down to join the others.

“Just don’t say anything stupid,” Natasha teased. You gasped in mock offense.

“I would never,” you smiled as Maria accepted the video call. The screen changed to a man with an eye patch wearing a trench coat. An odd outfit you thought.

“So,” he said. “This is the infamous Black Widow,” you took a bite of your bagel. “I’m guessing you know who I am.” You nodded.

“Nick Fury, the director of SHIELD.

“Also the reason you aren’t in custody or buried 6 feet under.” A smirk formed on your lips.

“Are you expecting a thank you, sir?” You questioned. You heard Natasha let out a small groan. He folded his hands and leaned back in his chair.

“What I’m expecting is for you to help take down the Red Room and follow every order my agents give,” he said. “Or I will pick one of the numerous countries that you're wanted in and drop you off.” Fair enough. You shrugged.

“Sounds like a fair exchange,” you said. “And after the Red Room is gone and Dreyokv is dead, what is going to happen to me?” Natasha offered you a spot at SHIELD but she wasn’t the boss. The man in front of you was. Similarly, another man held your fate.

“Well, that’s up to you,” he said. You raised an eyebrow, not expecting to have a choice in the matter. “Depending on the outcome of the mission, I’ll be offering you a position at SHIELD.”

“If I were to turn down your generous offer?” There was an intense stare-off between you and the Director. But to your surprise, the man smiled. Or it was something close to a smile.

“I like you, Widow,” he said. “I think we’ll get along well.”

It was lunchtime. Yelena was sitting outside with a few of her friends. She was stressed, on edge, that much you could tell. She was glancing over her shoulder, barely eating her food or engaging in the conversation around her. You made out the SHIELD agent assigned to your sister. Taking a sip of your coffee, you made note of the surrounding area. The school was across the street from a neighborhood, an odd place to put a school you thought. A wooded area surrounded the small sports complex and there was a parking lot in front. You opened your laptop and pulled up a satellite image of the school. It was clear and you looked back at Yelena. She was talking to a girl, and whatever she said made the girl’s cheek blush. You smiled, shaking your head with a laugh. This is why you locked them out of the plane so they could have a normal life - go to football games, flirt with people, and smile. You were being honest with Maria, no matter what you’d keep them safe. So when the same two girls walked past the car for the 3rd time something wasn’t right. You were a trained spy, able to sneak into government buildings and take down countries. Your gut instinct kept you alive. Carefully, you opened the glove compartment and pulled out a pistol, your widow bites, and a hat. You put the hat on and attached the gun to your hip, covering it with your sweatshirt. As you listened to your phone ring, you got out of the car. “Where did you go?” Natasha asked.

“Yelena’s school. Send back up,” you didn’t flinch as the gunshot rang out, hitting the SHIELD agent. “I’ll get her safe,” you told her. You began to run as the school erupted into chaos, pushing past students and school officials. “Hurry.” You put your phone in your pocket. Yelena stood up from the table, looking around in a panic. A scream left her lips as the girl next to her was shot. You got to her, pulled her to the ground, and flipped the picnic table on its side. It wasn’t the best cover but it was the only option. “Hey, hey,” she had blood splattered on her face and her green eyes were wide and frantic. “Eyes on me, okay?” With the sleeve of your shirt, you tried to clean up some of the blood on her face. She nodded. “I’m going to get you out of here and SHIELD is on their way.” Another shot and Yelena squeaked.

You grabbed a small makeup mirror and opened it, using it to see behind the picnic table. There was a sniper on top of the school and a small group of Widows swarming the parking lot. You pulled out your pistol. “On my mark, you are going to run towards the school.” You looked at the blueprints of the building, the cafeteria was through the closest door, and down the hall was the gym. That was your best option.

“I’m scared,” she whispered. You nodded.

“I know but you’ll be okay. Reader?” She nodded. “Go!” You popped up and aimed for the sniper. You weren’t aiming to kill just to disarm. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Yelena run towards the school. With the sniper taking cover, the Widows on the ground ran over to you. You fired some shots at them before following Yelena. They shot back.

Yelena was standing in the cafeteria waiting for you. “Where are we going?” She asked as you grabbed her arm and dragged her along.

“Gym,” you told her. “We can circle back to the front to get back to the car.” Glass shattering echoed the quiet hallway. You turned around and saw 2 Widows in the hallway. “Fucking hell,” you mumbled, running towards the gym. Like the hallway the gym was empty. “Hide behind the bleachers,” you said. “Don’t come out until I say so.” She ran behind the bleachers without hesitation. You had just enough time to reload your magazine as the two Widows walked in.

“Gde ona (Where is she?)” One of them asked. You didn’t recognize them so they must be a lower level than you.

“I have no idea who you are talking about,” you were accepting the hit to your stomach but the air was still knocked out of your lungs. You stayed on your feet as they circled you, mimicking a lion and its prey. But you knew the real roles here, they weren’t going to kill you or Yelena.

“We don’t want to hurt you, sister,” your heart skipped. They were your sisters brought together by blood and violence.

“Funny,” you said. “I was thinking the same thing.” You shot one of them with your widow bites and she went down easily. You dogged the attack, dropping to the ground and sticking out your leg. She fell but she grabbed onto your leg and threw you to the ground. You hit your head hard against the wooden gym floor. You both stood up slowly, facing each other. “I’m sorry,” you charged her, tackling her to the ground. She fought against you, hitting you but you were stronger. It was one quick punch and she was out cold. You fell back, your heart pounding in your rib cage as you stared at the unconscious Widow. “You can come out Yelena,” you said, standing up. The blonde walked out from behind the bleachers.

“Are you okay?” She asked. You nodded.

“Yeah,” you said, placing your hand on her back. “Let’s get out of here.” You ran out of the gym but there was a nagging feeling in the back of your head. They were too easy to take down. The girls were around Yelena’s age so they weren’t experienced. Why did he send them? “My car is over there,” you said, opening the door and pointing towards the direction of the car. The front of the school was still in chaos. “Let’s go,” you put the hood of Yelena’s jacket up to try to cover her face.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. The apology took you by surprise. It was something you weren’t expecting, especially from her. “I’m sorry you had to hurt them to protect me.”

“I’ll do anything to protect you and Natasha, okay?” She nodded but you could still feel the guilt radiating off of her. You saw the Widow across the street and you pushed Yelena to the ground as the gun went off. The pain wasn’t bad as the bullet hit your stomach. Without thinking you raised your pistol and shot the Widow. It was a quick and easy kill but it somehow hurt more than the bullet.

“Oh my god, oh my god,” you hissed as Yelena pushed her hands on the gunshot wound.

“I’m okay, not my first time getting shot,” you joked. “I need you to drive. Can you do that?” Her face was drained of color but she nodded. “Good,” you handed her the keys and got into the car.

“Where are we going?” Yelena asked, her hands stained red and shaking.

“The safe house,” you said. “Drive.” She did as sirens began to echo towards the school.

You squeezed your eyes shut as Phil dug to get the bullet out of your stomach. The door to the safe house opened, you had half the mind to grab your gun but you heard Melina’s voice asking if Yelena was alright. Natasha and Maria walked over to you. You were only wearing a sports bra and jeans, sitting in the dining room. “She's gonna pull through, doc?” Natasha teased but you didn’t miss the concern in her eyes.

“No exit wound,” Phil said, not looking up. “I have to get the bullet out before she heals.”

“Super soldier serum,” you hissed. “We are giving it before graduation. Fuck, have you ever done this before?” You asked him.

“Move out of the way before you do more damage,” Melina said, putting on gloves and taking the scalpel out of Phil’s hand. The agent moved out of the way, stealing a glance at Natasha.

“Phil, go check in with Clint and see if he’s found anything,” he nodded, taking off his gloves. “Go talk to Yelena and get her statement,” Natasha hesitated but you nodded. She went to join the blonde on the couch. “I’ll be back to get your statement when you're all patched up.

“Aye, aye, captain,” you gave her a salute. It was just you and Melina. You were surprised how gently her touch was when she tried to get the bullet out of your stomach. “I thought you didn't trust me,” you said. “Surprised you are allowing yourself in such a vulnerable position.” She got the bullet out and placed it on the paper towel. She cleaned the wound before stitching it up.

“If you wanted me dead you would have killed me the moment I opened that door,” you chuckled. She wasn’t wrong. “Thank you for saving her.” She placed a bandage over the stitches.

“No need to thank me,” you whispered. She took a step back and looked at you. Even with the serum rushing through your veins, it didn’t hide your scars. Each scar had a story, a name behind who gave it to you. These scars that littered your body were from other Widows during training, from Dreykov, and a few from your hand. You hated how small you felt under her eyes.

“Where did you get this one?” She asked, touching a scar on your shoulder.

“I got hit that night flying the plane,” you stood up, winching as you felt the stitches move. The serum would have healed soon. You helped her clean up the medical supplies. “Still managed to fly to Cuba much to Alexei’s disappointment.” You walked into the kitchen, throwing away the trash. Natasha and Yelena were on the couch and you found a new shirt resting on the back. You put it on. “Only thing that kept me going was your and their voice.” You continued. You rested your hand on Yelena’s shoulder, she looked up at you. “Are you okay, malen'koye solnyshko (little sun)?” She nodded.

“I am. Thanks to you,” you kissed the top of her head before heading back into the kitchen. Natasha and Yelena followed you. You were surprised by how hungry you were.

“The entire flight I thought Alexei was going to shoot me. I’ve never seen him so angry,” you continued unsure why you were telling them. The words kept following you. “Want a sandwich?” You asked them. Melina and Natasha shook their heads but Yelena let out a quiet, “Yes, please.” “When we landed in Cuba, I stood in front of Dreyokv, Alexei behind him, and guards circling us with their guns drawn. I stood there, unarmed, with a bullet hole in my shoulder.” You cut Yelena’s sandwich in half and placed it in front of her. You began to make your own. “Dreyokv asked where you guys were and I said I didn’t know. Alexei said he’d deal with me,” you felt a chill down your spine. “But Dreykov stopped him and said he knew how to handle me.” You turned your back to them so you wouldn’t have to see their expression.

“What did he do to you?” Melina asked. You closed the fridge, no longer feeling hungry.

“What didn’t he do to me is the better question,” you walked back over to them, eyes glued on your sandwich. You didn’t want to go into too much detail. Yelena was still so young and you didn’t want to taint her view of the world. “I was his malen'kiy pauk (little spider). He wanted to break me but I wouldn’t break.” You took a bite, it tasted bad but you knew you needed the energy. You glanced up at Melina. Her expression was hard to read, it was a strange mix of anger, sadness, and guilt. You shrugged. “But once he’s gone, everything will go back to normal.” You finished the sandwich and put your dish in the sink. “I’ll be in the room Maria gave me if you need anything.” You quickly left, closing the door behind you. Resting your head against the wooden door, you let out a shaky breath and closed your eyes. You could feel his hands on you as you knelt in front of him or one of his advisors. The blood that covered your hands was because of that man. But you weren’t the only one trapped and hurting because one man believed he was God.

“We found this,” Clint said, placing a piece of paper on the table.

“What does it say?” Fury asked. He was videoing in for this meeting.

“Come home, malen'kiy pauk (little spider),” Natasha said. Your sisters and Melina looked at you. You leaned back in the chair, hand on your chin. He wanted you back. Time and time again, he told you you were his most prized possession.

“Okay,” you finally said. “If he wants me then he can have me. We can use it as a trap.”

“There is no way it will be that easy,” Clint said. It won’t be. But you were done with this cat-and-mouse game you were playing.

“It won’t be,” you said, standing up. “He could have sent Widows much stronger than he did but he didn’t. Everything that man does has a purpose.”

“What was his reasoning?” Maria asked. You put your hands on your hips.

“To prove a point,” you whispered. “It said that no matter where we go or what we do he has the power to find us,” you faced Fury. “Dreyokv’s daughter is our way to him and we know she’s in Budapest. I’ll end it there.”

“No,” Melina said. Your head whipped to look at the older Black Widow. “You aren’t doing this alone.”

“She’s right,” Natasha added. “We’ll help you take him down.”

“Alright,” you looked back at Fury. “Pack your bags. You leave tomorrow.”

A plan was made and you were folding your clothes into your duffle bag. You found the photo strip and you picked it up, sitting on the bed. You remembered that day so clearly. Melina and Alexei brought you and your sisters to the mall to get school supplies. You pleaded for a few quarters to do the photo booth. In the end, it was Yelena’s puppy dog eyes that caught them breaking. “I’m sorry,” you looked up to see Melina. The apology sounded so strange coming from her. “I’m sorry I didn’t come back for you and wasn’t strong enough to save all three of you back then,” you stared at her, mouth open slightly as she walked in and sat down. “I cycled through the Red Room so many times before you were even born. For the longest time, those walls were all I knew and I was never given a choice. Until a 14-year-old girl gave me one,” you smiled, whipping away a tear that fell. “Natasha and Yelena were all I had for the longest time and I’d do anything to protect them.” You nodded.

“I get it,” you whispered. “I’m disposable.” Melina’s eyes grew wide.

“No, dorogoy (sweetheart), you are not,” she cupped your cheeks in her hands, pushing the tears away that fell. “You are…” she paused. “Everything. You are the reason I am here, the reason Yelena gets to graduate high school, and the reason Natasha won’t admit her feelings for Maria,” you laughed at Melina’s jab at your sister. “So, thank you. Even though it’s been a long time, you are still part of this family. Okay?”

“Okay,” you whispered, nodding your head. You whipped away your tears. “What happened to me wasn’t your fault.” She frowned, looking down at her hands.

“Why does a mouse born in a cage run on that little wheel?” You didn’t know the answer or if she wanted you to respond.

“But you aren’t a mouse, mama. You were just born in a cage but that’s not your fault.” Melina scoffed, pushing a piece of hair behind your ear.

“Tell me, how did you keep your heart?” It was your turn to think over what she said. You smiled.

“Pain only makes us stronger,” you quoted her. It was a common phrase thrown around in Ohio. But the strongest memory of it was the night you left. Yelena was chasing you and Natasha and she fell and hurt her knee. “Didn’t you tell us that? What you taught us kept me alive.”

You were up when you heard a soft knock on your door. Standing up, you opened the door and saw your two sisters. “Is everything okay?” Natasha looked nervous, shifting her weight. Yelena rolled her eyes.

“Can we sleep in here tonight?” Yelena asked. “With the shooting and everything that is going on, we're scared and worried.” You smiled, stepping out of the way so they could come in. After closing the door, you joined them. Yelena was in the middle, you, and Natasha on either side of her. It was how you would lay back in Ohio. “We’re gonna be okay, right?” You stole a glance at Natasha.

“Of course, we will be,” you said, running your fingers through her blonde hair. It was a dangerous promise.

“Because we’re together,” Natasha looked at you with a smile.

“Yeah,” you whispered. “Sometimes in our lives, we will have pain and sorrow but if we are wise we know that there’s a tomorrow.” Yelena smiled.

“Lean on me. When you're not strong.”

“I’ll be your friend. I’ll help you carry on.” Natasha added. Like when Melina told you that pain only made you stronger, it was common for you to say a phrase or two when your sisters were struggling with nightmares or in school. You were surprised they remembered it.

“Exactly,” you said. “Now, we need to get some sleep. We have a busy few days ahead of us.”

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