batfamilycannons - Tumblr blog

batfamilycannons · 2 months

Text

Bruce *storming in, burnt and covered in ash*: Where is your brother?

Damian and Tim: tf??

Tim: uh I think Jason’s in the library?

Bruce: no not him the other one

Dick, *scurries past the door*

Bruce: RICHARD JOHN GRAYSON why did you set my bed on fire

Dick: You deserve it!!

8K notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 3 months

Text

Dick, pouting: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass. Bruce, screaming down coms in a panic midfight: YOUR MORAL COMPASS IS A ROULETTE WHEEL! Dick, pausing for a moment: …Your point?

685 notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 4 months

Text

Dick*the eldest daughter reaching a breaking point and it was this or manslaughter*: Due to my emotional trauma, I have decided I will be reverting back to my childhood Goblin lifestyle

Jason*always one for chaos*: Good for you

Bruce*traumatized from the first time not sure if he can survive a pt.2*: oh no

Tim*never left his Menace Lifestyle and is very exited to help cause more problems*: yay!

Bruce*even more scared*: oh no

6K notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 4 months

Text

Bruce: We are a Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss family NOT a Manwhore, Mansplain, Manslaughter family

#batboys #batfam #batfam headcanons #batfamily #dc comics #dc universe #dcu #batbros #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake wayne #bruce wayne #batman

12K notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 4 months

Text

If one were Hypothetically writing a Dick Grayson life story fic, what events would you want in it? Can be Canon or Fanon

#batboys #batfam #batfam headcanons #batfamily #dc comics #dc universe #dcu #batbros #dick grayson #richard grayson #richard john grayson #Nightwing #Robin

77 notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 5 months

Text

How the boys react to Disappointing Bruce

Dick: ah, so its Tuesday *so used to it, not even slightly phased*

—

Jason: Fuck you old man *is trying to ignore the part of him that’s internally freaking out cause oh no His Dad is Mad at Him*

—

Tim:

Bruce:

Tim:

Bruce: Ti-

Tim *walks away*

—

Damian: I have done nothing wrong are you sure you haven’t confused me with Drake *Vehemently denies any such thing ever happening, and if there’s proof then he will argue that he was not actually in the wrong with his actions*

326 notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 5 months

Text

Batkids taste in music

Dick: Says it’s Pop (think Ke$ha) but in reality is Folk Punk (think The Mountain Goats and the Front Bottoms)

Cass: Everyone assumes classical and Cass goes with it. Jason swears he walked in on her listening to heavy metal once but she says it was a dream (it was not, she finds the noise soothing)

Jason: Says his favorite is Rap, but everyone knows its anything from Broadway/Musical Theater

Stephanie: she likes a random assortment of everything, (like playlists consisting of Eminem and Taylor Swift)

Tim: He actually likes hard rap, he cannot rap to save his life, but damn does he like listening to it

Duke: He likes R&B but also Pop (but for real unlike some people)

Damian: he likes to listen to classical to do art work, Musical Theater when working out, Folk Punk when he’s feeling lonely, Hard Rap when he’s tired, Taylor Swift when he’s grumpy, and R&B when he’s traveling (that includes walking the dogs)

254 notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 5 months

Text

BatBrothers as college students:

Dick: that one guy who’s always dressed wildly, you think he gets dressed in the dark till one day you accidentally find his Instagram and it’s all daily fashion blogs. No one’s particularly sure why he’s here? He doesn’t seem to give a fuck about any of his classes until it’s time for moral debates, then he’s all in with the most eloquent points.

Jason: A nerd, he’s the dude who you think got in on an spots scholarship until you realize he doesn’t play any sports. He can, and will, go on rants about old books in class. He looks terrifying but will proof read your papers. Corrects the teacher and is always right. Lives in the library (everyone wants to know how he’s so buff.)

Tim: The dude who only comes to half his classes, sleeps through the ones he does come too, always has an energy drink with him, the campus cryptid. Yet he has perfect grades, and when he gets called on in class (always in an effort to catch him off guard cause he was sleeping there’s no way he knows what’s going on) he always gets everything right, calls the professors by their first names. Generally terrifying. (Has been seen wandering the campus at random times of the night, dorm mate has never had a normal interaction with him.)

Damian: Perfectly dressed, always in class on time, dorm mate “disappeared” the first week in, always has the vaguest tinge of charcoal on his fingers, never take notes, perfect grades. Might have animals in his dorm.

1K notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 5 months

Text

Pt. 1 Hypocretical, secret disaster eldest sibling, Dick Grayson

Dick: Tim! How can you have not slept for two days?! That’s so unhealthy! You need sleep! Don’t run yourself into the ground, baby bird.

Also Dick *Hasn’t gotten a full nights sleep in 15 years, hasn’t gotten any sleep in 72 hours*

#his defense is that he never claimed not to be a hypocrite #his brothers think this is a bullshit defense #batboys #batfam #batfam headcanons #batfamily #dc comics #dc universe #dcu #tim drake wayne #tim drake #timothy drake #tim wayne #batbros #dick grayson #nightwing #richard grayson #robin #red robin

243 notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 5 months

Text

Jason: *pointing at some writing* Hey, help me find the funniest one

Dick: *aghast* No??

Jason: Why not?

Dick:

Dick: Jason, we are in a cemetery.

Jason: And??

Dick: *questioning why he had siblings*

521 notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 5 months

Text

Bruce: *Just existing*

Jason: You should get a hair cut

#batboys #batfam #batfam headcanons #batfamily #dc comics #dc universe #dcu #jason todd #bruce wayne #batman #red hood

141 notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 5 months

Text

Tim Drake as qoutes I’ve heard people say

Tim:*banging on Jason’s front door* You can fool god but you can’t fool the IRS

—

Tim: Is that double earth? Cause it’s to early to be thinking about the multiverse theory.

—

Tim: *in a Cecil Palmer voice* i can’t count. I don’t do math.

—

Tim:*examples of why he should not be allowed in the kitchen* I need containers to make the salad. I could make it on the counter but I don’t think anyone would be happy about it.

—

Tim: *monotone* You could do it but they would yell at you.

—

Tim: I wonder what the temperature is.

*opens the door to look outside at a tropical storm*

Tim: the temperature is raining.

—

Damian: What is life?

Jason: crap

Tim: A terminal disease

—

Tim: *trying to practice French grammar* Digo? what the fu-

—

Tim: In France the drinking age is… are you alive?

—

Bruce: Anyone have any challenges coming up? *in the terms of fencing he meant*

Tim: I have a physics test

Bruce: What?

Tim: What?

—

Tim: Sunday, Monday, Dead, Wednesday

Jason: Is dead a synonym for Tuesday now?

Tim: Yes.

—

Jason: What part of Indiana?

Tim: New Orleans

Dick: That’s Luisiana!

—

Tim:*training with his team* If you don’t look like your dying your doing it wrong

—

Tim:*running on no sleep and enough caffeine to kill a lesser man pt. 1* Is a fairy a job or a race?

—

Tim: It was probably bought of the Black Market for 20 cents.

—

*walking out of a JLA meeting*

Tim: I just got the best sleep of my life

—

Tim:*no sleep Tim pt.2* Cocaine is diet sugar

—

Tim:*no sleep Tim pt.3* life is a pyramid scheme

—

Tim: I plan for nothing to go according to plan, so when nothing goes according to plan it will have gone according to plan

—

Tim: My insanity is what keeps me sane

Ra’s:

Tim:

Ra’s: you are one of the few beings who truly scares me

Tim: *blinks one eye at a time*

—

Tim:*to Bruce* Laziness is the greatest cause of productivity

—

Tim:*running on no sleep pt. Who knows* I’ve done enough dishes to last a lifetime, IF I WAS STRAIGHT

Connor: What does this mean??

305 notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 5 months

Text

Types of villains the batboys would be

Dick: Best mercenary in the world, the one you hire to take out the strongest of the strong. There is an all time low of supervillains.

Jason: Rules Gotham with an iron fist, for the first time ever in Gotham, crime rates go down and stay down. Works often with Tim to take care of the political aspects.

Tim: The leader of the entire world, he would own everything. An omnipotent dictator. He would do it fully on accident as well, like one day he wakes up and realizes he has complete control over everything (it is the first time Earth has ever known world peace.) He rules with all the power and will of Ra’s al Ghul, Batman, and Janet Drake.

Damian: Becomes the Demon Head, rules the League of Assassins, is one of the most powerful people in the world, Animal cruelty is at a world low, Is far better of a leader than Ra’s could ever dream of.

921 notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 6 months

Text

A daily occurrence

Jason, English nerd, Todd: USE OXFORD COMMAS, CUNT!

Tim, I dropped out of high school I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, Drake: No.

Dick, I speak like 17 languages fluently and still refuse to follow or learn the grammar rules in this one, Grayson: a what?

10K notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 6 months

Text

BatBrothers as Drivers:

Dick: An absolutely terrifying driver, he drives quick and fast, he holds the all time record of “caused the most damage to the Batmobile.” He’s not a bad driver, in fact he’s very good, he just likes the thrill.

Jason: Drives like a fucking normal person (in a car, bikes a whole other story.) He drives in Crime Alley so often (where people have the tendency to just walk into the street) that he’s adopted very cautious driving tendencies. He also drives Lian so often, that defensive driving is just his go to. The fact that he usually only drives a car in his civilian identity helps.

Tim: Drives like he has nothing to live for, Dick was the one that taught him to drive and it shows. He somehow has the record for “the least amount of damage to the Batmobile.” Jason hates driving with him cause he’s sure he’s gonna die (again.) But if you want to get somewhere fast, Tim is the one you call.

Damian: Drives perfectly, he is efficient. There are no unnecessary risks; but he will get you where you want to be, no matter what.

Extra: The one exception to Dick and Jason is when they are driving Damian. Dick suddenly becomes a model driver cause he doesn’t want to endanger his son youngest brother. Jason on the other hand loves pissing Damian off by driving on the side of reckless. Damian ends up with a very screwed idea of their driving, which causes a lot of confusion when voiced to the rest of the family.

#dc comics #dcu #batboys #batbros #batfam #batfam headcanons #batfamily #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake wayne #timothy drake #damian wayne al ghul #damian wayne #nightwing #red hood #red robin #robin #dc universe

1K notes · View notes

batfamilycannons · 6 months

Note

Jason will never admit when he doesn’t like something food wise, because of his childhood and lack of food, he just always sucks it ups and eats it. But Roy knows him well enough to tell when Jay doesn’t like something and without saying anything will always just switch their plates.

Seriously stop posting j*yroy it's literally the worst ship out there

You guys are really annoying, you know that? Lucky for me, annoying is where I live, and I just got a recent bonus that I feel like burning.

So here's what we're gonna do:

From now until 11:59 PM EST on Halloween (Oct. 31st), I want the folks reading this to reblog with your favorite Jayroy headcanons. The fluff, the angst, the crackpot humor, all of it. For each reblog this post gets, I will donate $1.00 USD to the Palestine Children's Relief Fund to aid the victims of the ongoing genocide.

BONUS: if you want me to reblog your headcanon with my own "yes and," just make a donation yourself at the link above and DM me a screenshot of the final page as proof (personal info omitted of course). It can be any amount, even just a dollar/euro/whatever denomination you use.

I believe in us. We have the power of gay ships and spite on our side.

2K notes · View notes