if-you-give-a-box-a-pen

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

Unfinished Potential as a Disappointing Verse

we (had/have) so much potential (didn't/don't) we?

all those unfinished songs we wrote together- i still hum them.

my throat wants me to sing them, you know.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink #prose #spilled prose #poets on tumblr

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

Over time I've come to learn that nothing cuts quite as deep as a mother does.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled ink #a letter i'll never send #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #mommy issues #happy birthday mom

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

Homesick

The truth is;

i ran from the lights / and everything that was considered "holy"

which is to say i ran from you, and the love spilling from your palms

the trick was that i had my name etched among the streetlights and signs; someone contaminated our walk home with heartbreak again.

and the plot twist is that i won't be in town to see it heal again

the city still has a space carved for me / / and you still own the key to my heart.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

oxytocin

i still carry the weight of us

in my shoulders; if you look closely you can see the bruises.

the burn scar on my right wrist / encircling the [ ghost ] jade bracelet.

what's lost is lost. i highly doubt you'll find it the same way again- the stars came back to the dust

to our blood

pieces of ripped poetry as slips of paper in my jeans- those fluffy broken words and verses/ a deep blue guitar pick that still tastes like vanilla when it graces your lips. the flavor reminds you of (BITTERSWEET) what-ifs, doesn't it?

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

'Our Dark Summer'

the taste of canalope and mangos

bad scary movies and sleeping on your shoulder, unconscious and safe in your arms.

my heart felt like polmagrante seeds

yours was spicy Mexican chocolate

the hoodie was tearstained

your hands running through my hair

it was still damp from the rain.

[ two weeks of daydreaming, holding each other in silence in the long hours of the night on the couch ]

dancing in the thunderstorm

loud music playing

the plummeling fists in the mosh pit

the scarlet blood and dust soaked air

[ the way you smiled at me when you saw me skate. the way you blushed at my jet black dress ]

my guitar pick held between your teeth

your eyes widened as you realized it tasted like vanilla. like my lip gloss

orange birthday cake and reckless emotions.

slept in mornings and loud laughter

i bet I tasted like vanilla and loss. you were mint and unkempt promises

it might have been love. / at least for me it was.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #a letter i'll never send #prose #spilled ink #short poem #poets corner #poemsdaily #poemsociety #writing #our dark summer #dark poetry #summer #love #summer love

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

I think I understand my father now. why he warned me away from you. he knew, I think, how much I already cared and how deep I would love you. straight from the bottom of my core and from the depths of the essence of [ME].

I think he knew that I love the same way he does. the way he loves my mom.

that summer when I was 13 he was a broken man. she cheated on him and left him. he could barely speak to, let alone look at her when he came for an hour after work to see me and my baby sister.

he couldn't really talk or look at me either for that matter.

even now when they're back together he still aches, I can see that. he's still bitter and sad and scared that he'll lose her again.

and now I understand why they still argue about it to this day. why he still holds that grudge.

he loves my mother that much.

I've realized that I am the same. I am just as broken right now as he was that summer. and this bitter sorrow is hard to swallow. but I will continue to force and drink it down I suppose

and I guess I'll just have to hope I don't drown.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

it is the moment when the wheel makes its newest cycle / when laying on the floor in pitch inkyness is the only way to live

when breathing is only possible as you taste the crimson under your tongue / and the salt stains on your cheeks scream.

...

that moment when

when the [silence] of the

CHASM

inside of you is occasionally interupted by the roaring thunder and violent lightning.

tonight;

your eyes only speak of sorrow and your heart once again recites a sad love poem.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink #prose #sad prose #sad poetry #so many tears #writers and poets #writeblr #writing corner #written heartbreak #heartache #sorrow

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

I know that "[ I love you's ]" are supposed to be the strongest words to symbolize love.

but the "I adore you"s

the "you're the most amazing person in the world"s

they say so much more

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #a letter i'll never send #prose #spilled ink #short poem #love #love poetry #poem of the day #spilled poem #spilled words #poets corner #writing #writing corner #ramblings #in looooove #writers and poets #poetsandwriters #lovecore

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

scars tell your life's story [on skin]

and // god damn.

what a tale you have

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink #poem of the day #short poem #poets corner #poetscommunity #writeblr #writing

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

you seem to forget that I'm a person too.

a small living breathing thing formed of stardust and chaos.

I'm smudged eyeliner with a stolen hoodie, smiling slightly as a new tarot card is pulled.

I'm dancing in a raging thunderstorm, wearing nothing but a black tank top and tattered jeans in the pounding rain.

I'm hopping that chain link fence to show you the best sunset from that top of the telephone line

I'm falling asleep on your lap while a scary movie plays.

I'm a humanized celestial body. you seem to forget that. and in all honesty, so do i.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink #celestial #you seem to forget that #chaos #poem of the day #writers and poets

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

it was at a subhumans show.

60 bucks for the four of us/ 60 bucks for a concert I knew you'd love/ 60 bucks for us to see your favorite band

a show I didn't want to go to but did anyway

because I knew it would make you smile.

I spent half of that show in the bathroom crying

I spent half of that show bitter jealous and angry

a show you spent ignoring me

a show we went to so we could celebrate my

belated

birthday

why were you shocked that I was able to last in the mosh pit longer than you? you were running on excitement

I was running on a breaking heart.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink #solitude #concert #subhumans #you broke my fucking heart #happy belated birthday

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

July 14th 2022

at 3: 49 I became 16.

we were sitting on the couch

and [you] whispered in my ear

a soft happy birthday.

the warmth of your arms around my shoulders was a heavy contrast to the empty husk I was.

I am.

you said it would get better

that no one was perfect but I was amazing to you

God I was so tempted to kiss you.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink #loving someone you can't have #lovecore #unrequited pining #unrequited love #happy birthday #july 2022 #july 14

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

here's a secret.

I hate to say it / but I lied / when I said I was over / my romantic feelings for you

I still love you.

and last night when you held me

it all came rushing back.

#my writing #words #poetry #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #a letter i'll never send #spilled ink #unrequited pining #unrequited love #ramblings #one sided crush #crushcore #lovecore

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

the time is 12:33 AM

what do you do when you don't want to be alive anymore? What do you do when being six feet under is a craving you want to chase down with a selfish kind of greed breaking those glass fragments of your fragile will

still no one hears you scream, ash scrapes your throat to speak.

those angry bleeding maroon slits on your shoulders burn like fire. the pain screams like a newborn. Where/ where am i going with this? Where were we going with this

my mind is shrieking with loneliness. every sing stinging breath of air oxygen. i breathe (bleed?) away from you- sinks like the voids jaws onto my lungs.

how can the monster in me/ still be beautiful/ you take a picture of my face and your tongue calls me pretty/ but i am a maddening creature.

i am not the kind you should love

the irony of you is noticable the knife you twist into my chest hurts so bad but the love it heals

a bitter sort of happiness i've decided

are we both insane here?

#tw: sucidal thoughts #poetry #my writing #words #writers #excerpt from a book i'll never write #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #spilled ink #a letter i'll never send #tw depressing stuff #self h@rm #cvtt1ng #no sleep #overthinking #poem of the day

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

What The Actual Fuck America?

answer this question honestly, do you really think the US government cares? They dictate what we can and can't do with our bodies, who we can and can't love. And they watch from the safety of their homes as our skin is torn by bullets and our blood-soaked bodies stain the sidewalk. They say that those shootings are a tragedy, but unstoppable. They steal innocent lives for their own selfish gain

Do you seriously think the US government actually gives one fuck?

Do you really think that?

#vent post #what the fuuuuuuuuck #abortion #america #politics #united states #roe v wade #tw: school shooting #TW: Blood Mention #wtf is going on #tw swearing #words #today news

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

{describe yourself in a poem}

i am

the living proof of my father's character/ a storm in the center of a ribcage/ a shelf of mason jars carefully labeled with past ache/ quiet stories and lullabies whispered at twilight/ bloody fingers gently unwinding broken violin strings/ the mind of an overthinker constantly spinning/ poetry books slipped under a tear-stained indigo pillow case/ an wounded and moody ocean/ a collapsing shed underneath the blanket of stars.

#personal #my writing #poetry #words #writers #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #spilled ink #excerpt from a book i'll never write

[if-you-give-a-box-a-pen]

which came first? (the relief or the ruin?) i am a walking {ripped away} piece of my hometown/ my eyes reflect the sea.

when did houses become a cage? when did your arms become someplace safe? I am wingless, a shell in a desert // an ocean child hidden amongst the dust. which came first? the abandonment or the love? the loneliness or the comfort?

#my writing #poetry #words #writers #spilled prose #poets on tumblr #prose #spilled ink #excerpt from a book i'll never write #homesickness #homesick