#// dm me i am just happy spring is finally here

[hollandsangel]

perfect | s. harrington

my first steve fic!! he is so dear to me 🫶

mei ( @ddejavvu ) helped me brainstorm this, so thank you lovie <3 (you should literally see our dms lol)

summary: steve thinks you’re perfect

warnings: nothing much!! talk of boobs and thighs and stuff but nothing sexual!! steve being dramatic

wc: 1.2k

this is my favourite gif if steve ever. amen. (gif creds to theedorksinlove)

“i swear to god, if one more person takes out sixteen candles, i’m going back to scoops,” robin sighs, a little exasperated as she plucks the film from the stack of tapes and slides it back into its rightful place on the shelf. you just roll your eyes at your friend's theatrics, legs kicking out from your spot on the countertop.

it’s dark outside now, considering it’s nearing ten pm. the moody lighting of the street lamps on the parking lot reminds you that family video will be closed for the night in another fifteen minutes, and you’ll be able to sidle into steve’s car and head home. steve’s on the phone now, trying to talk a customer through the return process and giving a gratuitous apology when they complain about not having enjoyed their movie. he’s been pacing behind the desk for ten minutes, getting himself tangled in the phone cord. you reach forward and grab his elbow with one hand and the cord in the other, dragging him about until he’s freed.

“you know, i actually think i could go for a little micheal schoelffling right about now,” you speak up, spinning around so your legs dangle over the front of the desk rather than inside. robin shoots you a glare and you just toss her a teasing grin back, hopping off the counter and turning to catch a glance at steve whose brow is creased in frustration. 

“yes sir, we’d be happy to help you pick out a new movie tomorrow. yes. yes, we open at 9 am sir.” he sighs and rubs at his forehead. you catch his eye and give him a small, sympathetic pout. “have a good night, bye now.” the phone finally makes its way back to the receiver, and your boyfriend lets out the biggest groan, mixed with a sigh as it releases from his chest.

you lean over the countertop and smooth your thumb between his brows, correcting the wrinkle that had resided there, “tough customer?” you ask. steve drops his head between his shoulders, elbows braced on the sticky surface.

“tell robin she has to answer the phone from now on,” he hasn’t looked up yet.

you snicker and muss your hand through his hair, making him slump fully onto folded arms.

“i heard that,” robin says, standing from her crouched position and dusting off her thighs mid-step on her way back to the two of you.

your hand is still placed gingerly on the back of steve’s skull, fingers timidly working at his scalp, “you guys need any help closing?” you ask. steve makes a non-committal sound and robin swats his arm.

“tell your girlfriend she doesn’t work here,” she says and steve springs up, hair flopping into his eyes and landing on his head messily. he doesn’t even look at robin, you’re already in his line of view with half a smirk on the side of your mouth.

“baby, you don’t work here,” he says it all too quickly like there are no spaces between the words, “just sit pretty,” steve says, giving you a sickeningly sweet smile. you roll your eyes like it’s a full response.

before you get a chance to actually say anything, robin pokes at steve’s shoulder and he winces softly. “what’s this?” she asks. steve straightens out and looks where she’s pointing, a little red mark peeking out from the cuff of his polo. “did dustin punch you or something?” she tries to answer her own question, and before steve can stop her, she’s lifting the material. slowly, you register what is about to happen.

“ew, dude, why do you have bite marks on your shoulders– y/n was that you?” she looks mortified but she’s also grinning. nothing brings robin buckley more joy than absolutely badgering you and steve.

you look at steve with a “how are we supposed to deny this?” look to which he just stares back, pushing away and standing fully to walk away. but not before muttering, “you should see her thighs,” under his breath.

you choke on nothing.

robin though, barks out a laugh, poking steve at the top of his spine before he gets too far away. “don’t you worry stevie, i have,” she taunts, leaning back against the counter with a smug smirk.

steve is halfway to the horror section when he stops dead in his tracks. “you what?” he spins on his heel, “why have you seen my girlfriend’s thighs???”

you drum your palms on the counter and move away, “this is my cue to leave…” you say to no one in particular, ready to run for the door.

“hey! y/n/n–what are you– baby come back!” steve makes a small advancement towards you, hand waving in the air, even if the cash desk stands between the two of you.

you and robin make eye contact and snicker at the panic in his voice. she nods her chin towards him, “what? you jealous, stevie?”

“what?” steve starts, one hip jutted out and arms folded over his chest, “have you seen her boobs too?”

neither of you speaks, only share a guilty glance.

“oh you have got to be kidding me!! why? why have you seen my girlfriend's boobs?” he is actually exasperated. aghast. 

“what?” you cry out defensively, dropping your eyes from his and shrugging your shoulders, “that’s just what girls do,” you explain, shooting robin a look that cries ‘help me!!’

“yeah,” robin stutters, eyes going wide and face blooming with amusement at steve’s distress, “sleepover stuff, no biggie,” she shrugs it off.

steve’s eyes are still huge and his mouth keeps forming around words but he can’t seem to speak them. you can’t help but swell affection for how dramatic he is.

“what! i just..” you sigh, shoulders falling from their tensed position near your jaw, “i wanted to make sure they were…you know…okay,” steve picks up on your sudden shyness, how your eyes cast downward and you seem slightly embarrassed.

“you…you–you–you wanted to make sure your tits were okay before i saw them??”

robin feels like she’s intruding and starts to slowly back away from the scene before her, barely catching your evasive shrug.

“no one’s ever seen them before…i dunno,” and then steve really softens, sees the insecurity seeping into your posture and your tone, just loud enough for him to hear.

“you wha–!” he cuts himself off, shaking his hysterics away with a sigh and dropping his crossed arms. he walks over to you, tapping your hip before gripping them both and lifting you onto the counter again, hands smoothing up your thighs that are no doubt marked up beneath the denim of your levi’s. “baby,” he starts lowly, ducking down so you’ll look in his eyes, “sweetheart, your tits are perfect,” he says it so earnestly and you can’t help but giggle, even if you can hear robin gag over steve’s shoulder. you laugh again when he rolls his eyes and leans up to kiss you. “you’re still coming to mine tonight right?”

“yeah,” you’re still smiling softly when you say it, just above a whisper.

“steven i swear to god, you help me close, then you guys can go..bone or whatever,” robin interjects, garbage bag in hand.

steve reaches beside you, sly smirk still on his face as he rummages through a drawer for the keys to the front door, “i’ll lock up rob,” he surges forward and presses a little peck to your mouth, drumming his fingers on your thighs before pulling away to lock the front doors.

robin is still standing in front of you, still gripping the black bag to take out the back door. “you guys are disgusting.”

tags! @ddejavvu @pastelbabygirl19

#steve harrington x reader #steve harrington #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington blurb #steve harrington drabble #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x you #steve harrington x fem reader #steve harrington fanfic

[quodekash]

gosh darnnit im tired 

in other words: time for my weekly ramblings about a bl where im mildly interested in the main couple but the side couple means more to me than anything and no i will not stop talking about them 

slight warning, there will be one mention of sa and one mention of murder/suicide (both of which are my personal speculation about particular situations, and there’s no detail apart from the word being mentioned). i also discuss/ramble to myself about mental health problems, and alcohol abuse. so if any of those things are triggering for you in any way, please be cautious about reading this, take necessary precautions, and if it’s particularly distressing, i urge you to call a local hotline for these kinds of emergencies. i care about all of you and your health and safety, whether i know you or not, and if you ever need to talk about anything at all, lemme know, my ask box and my dms are always open. 

anyway, on with the show! 

if you haven’t figured it out yet, this is... 

MY THOUGHTS ON EPISODE 4 OF ABAAB 

(if youre new here, it will literally be all of my thoughts on everything while im watching it bc i feel like im annoying my friends with my ramblings so instead ill annoy all of this circle of tumblr. and it will probably not be coherent. youre welcome.) 

i’m obsessed with his little ‘cher is so cute’ smile 

THATS HOW I FEEL ABOUT LITERALLY THIS EXACT POST 

dONT YOU DARE DO A PATPRAN 

that’s real insightful, cher. id never thought of that one before. the statement really gets me thinking. 

are you- are you saying what i think you’re saying? or am i more dirty minded than i thought 

his hair is extra curly today and its veyr pretty 

the curls are giving charlie spring vibes from the side 

i would like to touch his hair please 

the fact that covid exists in this universe is weirdly funny to me 

yup that sounds about right. no one rly cares about covid anymore when the entire world is ending 

YAY HE’S FINALLY OPENING UP TO HIM 

that freaking sucks tho 

and what’s worse is it’s very likely tian was r*ped 

WHY DO ALL THE HAPPY FEEL-GOOD SHOWS HAVE TO HAVE SAD DEATH BACKSTORIES BEHIND 50% OF THE FREAKING CHARACTERS 

GUN (msp)’S DAD IS DEAD AND HIS MUM SPENDS HALF THE SHOW LOW-KEY DYING (and i swear if they do something to gim in our skyy 2 im gonna fly to thailand and have some words with people) 

AYAN’S DAD LEFT, HIS UNCLE DIED 

THUA’S DAD DIED 

HALF THE CHARACTERS IN THE ECLIPSE HAVE DIAGNOSED DEPRESSION AND THE REST OF THEM ARE UNDIAGNOSED BUT ITS DEFINITELY THERE 

HERE, JACK HAS DEPRESSION (and i rly hope they go into that more in depth later in the show bc he intrigues me. if they dont go into it more then im writing a way too in depth analysis post of jack) 

AND NOW FREAKING CHER’S FRIEND/CRUSH FROM CHILDHOOD IS FREAKING DEAD AND HER BODY WAS FLOATING IN A POND WHICH DOESNT RLY LEAD TO ANY IMMEDIATE THOUGHTS OF A NATURAL DEATH WHICH MEANS IT WAS PROBABLY MURDER AND/OR SUICIDE WHICH MAKES IT EVEN FREAKING WORSE 

i knew it was too good to last. the over-confident, cocky, funny, sassy/sarcastic people are generally the most messed up, they just hide it via humour and feigned confidence (i am most certainly not one of these people at all) 

cher stop drinking, you’re gonna hurt yourself. also the alcohol might feel like it’s lifting the burden of thinking and stops you from worrying about everything thats happening, but itll come rushing back to you when you’re sober and worse because youll have a hangover, and it’s only a temporary fix, drinking only works for a couple of hours. you need a more permanent fix, cos if you keep turning to alcohol, itll turn into addiction and substance abuse and dependency, none of which are good, all of which are much harder to get out of than they are to get into. so yeah, just chill with the drinking a little bit. i get that you need to let it all out and you need to not feel for a bit, and that’s totally okay, but you need to make sure you’re not over-indulging yourself. otherwise youll be very ill in the long-term, both physically and mentally 

PFFFT THIS WAS THE PERFECT SHOT TO END IT ON 

final thoughts: 

theyve both said things that make absolutely no sense in context unless theyre confessions of feelings, and yet theyre definitely gonna continue to do the “what if he doesnt like me back” thing even tho its SO CLEAR to LITERALLY EVERYONE they have feelings for each other 

theyve gotten so close to kissing this episode and yet they havent which is sad, but also at least they have kissed at one point before getting to the point where they COULD have kissed a grand total of siXTY-SEVEN TIMES- (shut up im not talking about tinngun what are you talking about. .....but also if you wanted to see that post where i count out all of the times tinngun didn’t kiss...) 

very sad with the complete and utter lack of threezo in this episode. actually, it’s not even a lack of threezo. neither of them even appeared in the episode. neither was even mentioned. they (i.e. the characters, the creators of the show) are all acting like threezo AREN’T the most important characters in this entire show 

i love threezo 

where is threezo 

or is it zothree

either way i dont mind bc i love them 

where was i 

oh right 

this episode was pretty good, very emotional, i definitely didnt cry what are you talking about (who am i kidding, eveyrone knows i cried three times, you dont even need me to tell you) 

im excited for episode 5 

that is all, thank you and goodnight 

#quodekash rambles about abaab #im sorry my thoughts are a mess #idk why anyone reads these #i just make them to yeet my thoughts out of my brain cos otherwise they clog up #and if they clog up then i cant make funky posts where i overanalyse one line one character said one time #anyway #a boss and a babe #a boss and a babe the series #a boss and a babe series #abaab #abaab ep 4 #guncher #chergun #forcebook #bookforce #force jiratchapong #book kasidet #jack's almighty curly hair #drake sattabut's almighty eyebrows

[panharmonium]

omg—so have you finished your teen wolf watch-through yet or is it still in progress alongside the naruto watching?

no spoilers at all in what i’m about to say, but i literally just watched teen wolf for the first time a couple months ago and i love your merlin meta, so the serendipity of you watching teen wolf right now is like ✨yes✨

anyway, i would love to hear your thoughts on s5&s6 bc basically everyone i know (who has seen the show) told me to just stop watching after s3 but i ended up finishing the whole thing anyway bc i grew too attached to many of the characters 😂 if you’re comfortable chatting in dms, i would be totally down to talk more detail there—but also i would be excited to see any teen wolf posts from you, if you feel inclined to make any, bc like i said, you always have such a wonderful way of talking through things and sharing your perspective on stuff and i always love reading your metas but also most of the people i’ve been talking to about teen wolf watched it so long ago (and only the first few seasons of the show besides) that it’s just not the same 😂

—forever-rewatching-merlin

(i always sign these things as my merlin sideblog bc that’s where most people know me from, sorry if that’s weird) 🤣

*waves a big hello to you* HI!

Teen Wolf is still in progress alongside Naruto, but I'm getting closer to the end - we've got four episodes left in Season 5 (part 2), and then we're moving on to Season 6!

Everyone who told you to stop watching after Season 3 was probably right, or at least that's the impression I'm getting so far - I obviously haven't seen S6 yet, and I'm happy to be going into it not knowing anything about it, but I haven't enjoyed S4 and S5 the way I wish I could have, and that makes me doubtful about whether S6 can course-correct in a way that satisfies me. But hope springs eternal - I always go into new seasons optimistically; I was really enjoying the first couple episodes of S5 before it started to lose me, so I'll start S6 with the same open-mindedness.

My Teen Wolf watch actually started a looong time ago - I started watching back in 2015 (never as it was airing, though; I always just watched it on DVD) and got hooked partway through S1. I watched the first three seasons all in a row and was totally in love with it, but the very end of 3B (*cough*allison*cough*) made me so angry that I stopped watching for like two and a half years. Then I came back and watched S4...and it was so terrible that I stopped watching again for another three years. And now...I am finally finishing. XD

There is a LOT of Teen Wolf on my blog; it was my main fannish interest for years even when I wasn't actively watching new episodes, and it's still what I consider one of my "big" fandoms, despite the fact that I've been running around in Merlin and Naruto-land lately. My general Teen Wolf tag is (predictably) "teen wolf", and then I also use "pan watches teen wolf" for thoughts about episodes I'm in the process of watching (currently working on one of those posts right now).

There will likely be many more Teen Wolf posts here as I work my way through the end of S5 and all of S6, and I'd be totally happy to talk about it anytime! I do find it a lot easier to reply to asks or reblog conversation threads back and forth than use the tumblr messaging function - I don't have a problem with dms or anything like that, it's just that the messaging window is SO tiny and I have a much easier time with longer-form/asynchronous communication (things like Discord servers give me hives, and I have similar trouble with texting, so. I guess I am just Old. XD )

#anyway i am psyched to hear that you recently watched this show! #literally can't emphasize enough how big of a fandom teen wolf is for me #i've only ever taken one vacation for myself and it was to go to atlanta #so i could walk around and just see the places where they filmed various teen wolf scenes #(which was actually the same trip where i started merlin for the first time - just sat down to watch it on a whim) #(obviously that inadvertently led to another obsession but teen wolf was the direct precedent to my merlin times XD) #replies #teen wolf

[chrismerle]

What's up, everyone? We've been over this before, but for anyone who hasn't seen it before, I am a freelance editor. I'm looking for work to bolster my current long-term contracts because diabetes is expensive.

My credentials:

I have a Bachelor’s degree in English and I’ve been freelancing as an editor since 2014.

I’ve handled fiction and nonfiction.

Nonfiction topics I’ve dealt with include law, business, finance, marketing, tech, travel, wellness, and medical.

I’ll handle any genre of fiction. That includes gore, horror, and smut. I have no triggers.

The shortest piece I’ve edited was 95 words. The longest piece I’ve edited was 115,000 words. That latter one has 5 stars on Amazon and the writer called me a godsend.

Things I’ll do:

Beta reading: During this stage, I don’t do any correcting of typos or grammar or anything like that, but instead offer my input on anything that stands out or seems weird or noteworthy. Like if I get to the end of the book and still have no idea what a prominent character looks like, or if it feels like a plot thread didn’t get tied up, or if I just think parts of it are a bit dull. Or if I think something works really well! If you have a list of questions you want me to keep in mind, I will do so, but otherwise I’ll just make observations as they come to me. $1.00 per page.

Line editing: This is when I go through the story line by line to spice up the prose, while also adjusting sections that are awkwardly or confusingly worded. There won’t be much of a focus on basic proofreading since the contents aren’t quite finalized yet, though I’ll probably fix any errors that jump out at me. $1.50 per 100 words.

Copy editing: Making sure the writing is as clear and consistent as it can be. I’ll fix spelling and grammar issues. If a number is spelled out on one page but typed as a digit on another page, I’ll make sure those sorts of things are consistent. If a page switches from present tense to past tense halfway through, I’ll fix it. Misplaced modifiers? I’ll iron them out. Subject changing halfway through a sentence? That will also be addressed here. $1.00 per 100 words.

Proofreading: Checking spelling and punctuation and so on. English is a pinata of spelling and grammar rules, and even people who have been speaking the language since birth can’t always write it. There’s no shame in needing some spring cleaning. $0.85 per 100 words.

Rush Orders:

In the event that you need something done very quickly, a rush order fee will be applied. Regardless of the length, if you need it within less than three full days, a rush order fee will be applied. Beyond that, take the final word count and then divide by 4,000, and that is the number of days in which the rush order fee applies.

Ex.: If you have a 52,000-word novel, then if you divide that by 4,000, you get 13. If you need me to finish the document in under 13 days, a rush order fee will apply.

For the rush order fee, take a quarter of the price for work and add that on.

Ex.: If we say that 52,000-word novel is 104 pages and you want the full works–beta reading, line editing, copy editing, and proofreading–then that would be $1,846. The rush order fee would be $461.50, bringing the full total up to $2,307.50.

I take payment through Paypal at [email protected]. I also have a Bill.com account. If I have multiple takers lined up, then I’ll work through projects in the order they’re presented to me, though rush orders will be allowed to jump the queue. If you can’t or don’t want to pay all at once, then I’m happy to work out a weekly, biweekly, or monthly payment plan. We’ll address scheduling discrepancies in advance, obviously. If you need something done within two weeks and there are three people ahead of you, I will say as much.

My ask box and my DMs are open. If you don’t want to get in touch with me through tumblr, you can also email me ([email protected]) or use Discord (shaicarus#8286).

#writing #editing #writeblr #writblr #writeblur #writblur #editblr #edit #editor #editblur

[corruptedsilence]

Anonymous asked: I honestly get it to an extent. I suffer from depression and anxiety and all that fun stuff. But for mine it comes and hits hard for a week or two and then leaves for months. But when I'm depressed, nothing helps much either. :/ But honestly, it DOES help to know people care about you, for me at least. Just people sending me kind words and stuff. Or people sending in threads and RPs to distract my brain. Just remember it's not weak or anything to rely on a few friends from time to time. (1/?) Anonymous asked: I'll be happy to throw you some anons if I see you down. Whether it's kind anons or anons asking questions for Missi to help distract the brain. I know we've never talked, but I really enjoy you on my dash. And let me tell ya, I normally unfollow non mutuals after a week. But there's some people who just seem like someone I wanna hang with, even if it's on anon. I'm not always on, but if you need someone to vent to, you can vent to me if you'd like. I know how it is to bottle it all up.

Sorry I was eating my borger and fries fhewjk

But yeah I totally get that. If people have been around me long enough they know I tend to get like that too. My depression is (at least in my opinion) always worst in Spring and Summer just because the heat absolutely murders me and I find it so difficult to get motivation to do anything. IDK what’s with those seasons it just makes everything worse. Since summer is finally ending and Autumn (like my favorite season) is coming I feel already a lot more relaxed. The cooler temperatures and the rainy days are just helping me relax so much more. Winter too is also so much nicer because while I hate the silence there’s something about Winter that just, it’s a calm quiet instead of silence. Like the entire world for once, can curl under a blanket and restf and that it’s a rest we’ve waited all year to take.

My depression (minus last saturday) hasn’t been too bad. I haven’t intentionally self harmed in so long and my depression has felt more intrusive than active? What I’ve felt this past week or two hasn’t felt like my depression, like it’s someone else’s.

I agree kind words do help a lot, TBH I’ve kept a lot of asks in my inbox just to remind me of the nice words people say and something I can always go back to, to help remind me that I am worth it, that I am good. I’ve finally broken out of the “im not worth it” but more worried I’ve become the “im not good enough. I’m worthy to be here and have friends, but I don’t give anything in return for everything they give me” kinda thing.

If you ever want to my DMs are open? Or they should be at least. You can always send me an ask about who you are cuz yo udo seem like a really cool person! I don’t follow everyone who follows me back because I do have a lot of personal blogs following me (not that i mind since no one has been rude in spamming me or w/e) and Tumblr has a really annoying habbit of not telling me when people follow me??? I’ll look at my followers list from time to time and be like “wait, when did this person follow me?? Hello???” And this happens way too often.

Honestly? At this point I’d feel like we could be mutuals, even if we wouldn’t RP you seem like a really nice and chill person I’d want to support even if we don’t RP or we just slap each other anons lol. I appreciate everything you’ve been writing to me tonight and it honestly feels amazing. Wait it’s not night, it’s afternoon. RIP that’s what I get for sleeping 19 hours and living in a windowless room lol. Always feel free to hit me up, you’re more than shown to be a really cool dude (or dudette) I’d like to chill with too, or just support. Anyone who’s willing to go to this extent to help someone feel better I feel like should be given the respect they deserve because I’ll always respect people who do things like this.

Time is something that is valuable however cheesy it is, but it’s true. And the fact you’re willing to spend time to send me these messages shows to me how much you do genuinely care and how kind you are. So thank you, so much for these and I do hope to see you again whether anon or not I’ll treasure these messages and hope you don’t mind me filing these away with my other kind asks

#Out for a Bite // OOC #Screams from the Abyss // MT #;; literally i hoard so many asks of kind words just as reminders #;; there's like 5 in my inbox rn fhewjkkw #;; and im totally adding these too #;; also i havent had a borger in so long so im just yes i need my monthly borger fix

[ser-rctslcyer]

We've been teetering on this for a while but boundaries are boundaries & we respected them. We may over respected them but I can finally call you mine which is---very surreal for me. We met in...December of last year--could've been earlier but I have a lot of last year blacked out for reasons you know.

You've always been there for me when something went wrong--even if I messaged out of the blue. Like the time my dogs got into a fight & I panicked---all I could think was to message you because you'd make sure I was okay. You answered when you didn't have to & talked to me until I calmed down enough to breathe.

I truly think I've been in love with you for a while but boundaries were set & I followed them. I love you like a spring breeze that's warm but not too warm, it smells of fresh clothes & spring rain--it makes me feel like I'm home. I always feel safe & at home with you, I feel like I'm allowed to exist with you because you want all of me. You don't just want one bit of me---you've carved into everything that's me--you've given me something I thought I couldn't have.

Maybe.....maybe you're the love my cards told me about. Maybe you're the lover I was informed of---the one who will make everything right & safe for me. I think it was you---I think it's always been you.

There's not a day that goes by when I don't wonder where you are. I miss you when you're asleep, I miss you when you're awake--it's like there's this ache in my heart when you aren't around me. I want to hear your voice so badly--I wanna talk to you for hours just to hear how sweet you sound.

I've loved you for months---I love you now--I think I'll love you forever. I think I might drown in you actually all in your orbit that keeps me safe & sound.

I love you---I love you---thank you for loving me in a way I never thought I deserved.

❤️

I never thought it would be possible for my heart to feel this full, and yet here I am, shedding tears of joy because you’ve completely taken my heart— it’s yours to do whatever you want with and I don’t want it back.

It still feels like yesterday when I worked up enough courage to tell you it’s okay to dm me just so we could start talking. That day, I didn’t have the slightest clue we’d end up here but fuck , im so happy I fucking did it.

I’ve always felt comforted around you, I’ve always felt like I can trust you with anything. You radiate so much love and the way you’ve cared about me, and everything i enjoy has just made me feel so safe. Even though we’re miles a part, it’s like every conversation with you has me wrapped up in your arms and I love it more than anything.

I miss you every time you go to bed and get so excited when I realize you’ll be waking up soon; I get so antsy for it but I love the rush seeing you message back.

It might be fate that both of us end up drowning, as I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love you to the moon and back, to the stars and everything beyond.

#kit ⭐️🌈 #i love him with my entire heart

[astrologyangelmediums]

Happy Sunday, lovelies! The weather warmed up enough that I could tackle some big tasks at home and getting some "spring cleaning" done while I had a smidge of downtime and energy. Also, there is an imposter pretending to be me (although why, I will never know). I only do readings in person or booked through my website - that's it. No DM 5 I won't be bothering you in your DMs. I will be posting a few cards in a bit - as I finally made a bit of time to get it set up. I have had a few interesting messages... kind of demanding them, which is always a bit of a turn-off for me. I like to do things my own way, and I offer the readings and intuition tests without pay - they are a way for me to share things that help others connect more to themselves. I am also a person. Not just an account. It is just me. You send a message, it is me that replies. Writing up the card meanings, taking pictures of the cards, and watermarking them (since so many fakes keep stealing my work) also takes time. I work 3 jobs at the current moment, and I homeschool one of my kiddos. I am also the main caretaker for our family. Let's just be a bit kinder. I used to stress to post them every week , and I got to the point where I am not trying to add more stress to my busy life. And to be honest, Instagram isn't as fun as it once was for me. Between the constant warnings of being impersonated, to the unkind comments on posts, and the spam all over the place - this ol' girl is over it. I am having too much fun connecting in person, teaching different things, and doing readings for people at events. Life has been in motion, and I don't always want to come on here to see what I built dying a slow and tortured death. Will I post? Yes. When? On my own time. Anyway, all this to remind one another to just be kind. Be considerate of what you say to those around you. Hope your weekend was lovely and that you have an amazing week! https://www.instagram.com/p/CpbfL97jvY9/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[honorsongs]

Welcome to another: Honor rambles about Kids on Bikes

So last night we had our “season finale” of sorts. We are all taking a break until Spring semester, as a lot of us have a very busy Fall semester. Going into this session was terrifying because “oh heck, how are we going to finish everything we have to do in four hours? (It turned out being six hours, that’s how)

To start, I have to say that Moon is one of the best DM’s ever. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, they are the coolest DM I’ve ever had, and I’m not saying this because they might see this post. I genuinely mean it.

Last night was insane. We had dramatic reveals, we had horror, we had a bit of death (it was super scary), and we even had a bit of romance and probably the funniest “we are off to save the world” conversations ever.

Honestly, I couldn’t ask for a better group than the one I’m with right now. Everyone has been so respectful and kind to one another. This group has been my favorite to play with by far, and I’m super thankful for everyone for making this such a cool experience.

I am so excited to come back to these characters next year, and I’m sure we’ll do a few one shots here and there when we have time. I know I’m still planning on playing Teens in Space inside of our Kids on Bikes game, after all. For now though, I’m happy where we’ve ended. There’s a lot left to resolve and a lot more we can do going forward, but we saved the world. Now we get to take a breath and regroup.

And Moon? If you’re reading this? Thank you. Thank you for the opportunities you’ve given me this summer and for the sessions I would spend all week looking forward to. Above all, thank you for being just the coolest DM ever. You’re the best <3

#honor’s rambles #kids on bikes #ttrpg talk #sappy post session rambles

[strangersontheelevator]

Reflections Upon Two Weeks of Quitting Social Media

I decided to quit social media for this entire summer after I realized that I truly needed a break from other human beings. I also have very ambitious career goals this summer, and I wanted to make sure that mindlessly scrolling through TikTok or experiencing FOMO from vacation pictures did not needlessly distract me from working during the next few months. Here is what I’ve learned so far!

Pros

1. I really, really don’t care about what other people are doing.

The funny thing is, when I went on TikTok or Instagram, I did care. In fact, when a girl I had never even spoken to posted a funny picture of her on spring break, I even texted my friends about it being jealous. Looking back, this was absurd. I literally had no clue who this girl was, and yet I found myself genuinely caring about what she was up to. I think this is one of the toxic effects of social media, and definitely is double-sided. These apps make you care about what other people are up to, and in turn people are forced to care about what you are up to, which gives you the validation that we all crave, and yet leaves us feeling jealous and not enough when we compare ourselves to others. However, even though it’s only been two weeks, I’ve realized that I have not even thought about that girl who posts a lot. She does not occupy any headspace since I deleted Instagram, which should have been the case given that I do not interact with her at all. Taking this break has made me realize that my mind is freed from thinking about these strangers or even acquaintances online. It’s really nice.

2. I’m finding more time to devote to my hobbies.

I finished a book, which definitely would not have happened if I were still on TikTok. That app is literally the biggest black hole in terms of time. It’s so easy to open up an app like that whenever you have a minute to spare, and you end up losing any sense of time. TikTok essentially acts like a drug--I find myself forgetting when I started to use the app, and also craving to open the app a lot of the time. Without an easy way to account for my extra time, I’ve been forced to listen to more music, read more, spend more time journalling and picking up hobbies like this (writing!), and it’s really benefitted me. I feel as though I am finally devoting my energy to things that I definitely would not have before. This is most likely because I’m doing things that are more fulfilling during these breaks. Additionally, although I don’t really count watching TV as a fulfilling hobby, I’ve definitely had more time to do so, and it’s made me really happy. Even though TV is not an intellectual task, it’s still really nice to be able to catch up on shows that I never would have if I were still scrolling through my feed or watching silly TikToks.

3. I’m finding it so much easier to focus.

I never realized how much I opened my phone until I deleted all social media apps from my phone. I find myself constantly opening my phone and swiping to where Instagram used to be, and then closing it when I remember that it’s no longer on my phone. This is especially apparent when I’m studying for long periods of time. I know that if I still had TikTok, opening it for a “second” would definitely turn into at least 20 minutes, and my productivity streak would most likely have been broken. I’m studying a lot more as a result of not having access to these platforms.

Cons

1. Going back is just as hard.

About three days ago, I logged back into Instagram for just about 10 minutes, and ended up actually almost having an anxiety attack as a result. Which seems so ridiculous. But I saw accounts of people that I wanted to avoid, and opened up DM’s where my friends were talking about something triggering to me without them realizing, and yeah. It was this weird moment of sensory overload, which definitely would not have occurred if I were constantly using the app. I saw way too many pictures at once of people that I literally forgot about, and saw accounts of people that I wanted to avoid. All in all, it was horrible. I ended up deactivating my account as an attempt to prevent myself from logging back in. Perhaps I just was not in the right place to revisit Instagram, but still, quitting social media means that you will definitely need time to readjust to going back to it.

2. I feel incredibly disconnected and lonely.

It’s been really hard, especially because I don’t really have any close friends around me this summer, to feel companionship. Although social media is definitely a facade of connection, it still feels as though you have a lot of people that interact with you, and you also are interacting with a lot of different people’s lives. Knowing what pretty much no one is doing this summer also definitely takes a toll on me. I feel very alone, and it’s hard to remember who my friends are when they’re not physically close to me. Although I’m obviously texting a slew of my friends from college and home, they’re not there all the time. In social media apps, there is constantly someone to watch and talk to, and I miss that a lot sometimes. Even if it is strangers that I don’t care about, it’s still rewarding to stay updated and in the loop about their lives. I’m basically just interacting with my parents in real life, and I feel lonely at times. I wonder if this would not be the case if I were on social media.

3. It’s still just as easy to procrastinate.

I’m not a saint. I’m still procrastinating, hell, even by writing this right now. I still spend a lot of time on YouTube, which is the only social media I’m allowing myself to use. I also just find myself stuck on the internet researching weird things. Yesterday I was researching the philosophy of love and ended up watching a slam poem, then reading the entirety of a really long Reddit thread. Watching TV also definitely is still just as much of a hinge on my productivity, but I have to accept that I am not perfect. With access to the internet, there is an infinite amount of possibility. Quitting social media does not limit the possibility at all--in fact, it probably widens the things that I do on the internet as a result, because I’m not completely enslaved to the same three websites.

Overall, I intend to continue with my respite from social networking apps. I’m feeling the positives and the negatives quite strongly, which I did not expect. I thought it would be one or the other. However, this is an exciting journey in my life, and by the end of the summer I’m going to decide whether or not this will be a permanent change in my life. Thanks for reading, even though no one is. I love having a platform to write about all of this. - C 

#personal

[matsunokazoku-blog]

“Alright, my little NEETs! It’s time for spring cleaning!”

#『 ic; plєαѕє mαrrч mч ѕσnѕ 』 #『 open; ᴘʟᴀʏ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴜꜱ 』 #// dm me i am just happy spring is finally here

[hyenahunt]

Conquest: Armageddon - 3

Writer: Akira

Season: Spring

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP & ENG)

Translation: hyenahunt

Hiyori: My sweet smile is my weapon, my frivolous facade my strategy, and my title of a free-spirited, foolish second-born son is the armour that shields me.

[At the same time, inside Café Cinnamon, which is located within ES]

Jun: ......

Hiyori: Jun-kun, Jun-kun! Are you alright now? Finally feeling better?

Then let's end our break and head on over to the next venue! We can always rest after the sun sets, no?

Jun: ......

Hiyori: Jun-kun? Still alive?

Hellooo~, it's a grave sin to stay silent when I'm talking to you! You're free to die all you like, but you better come back to life — I'd like you to keep me entertained, alright!

Jun: Goddamn! What's up with you, seriously? It honestly beats me how you can still be in such high spirits!

If you wanna keep working so badly then kindly go do it on your own — I'm worn ragged getting dragged around and being worked to the bone day in and day out, y'know!?

Hiyori: So what? I'm still full of energy so I don't see any issue here!

Besides, it's your duty as my slave to do whatever I want, whenever I want!

Jun: I'm not your slave , damn it... I know I'm inexperienced and all, so I'm not gonna ask you to treat me as an equal partner like Nagi-senpai, but...

Can't you at least treat me like I have basic human rights, instead of something like a slave or a pet~?

Hiyori: Oh, is that what you want~? Aww, poor little Jun-kun~♪

Jun: Huh? Did I say something weird? Why're you acting like I'm just throwing some kinda dumb tantrum, Ohii-san?

Hiyori: Heheh. I really wish you would, every once in a while. After all, it gets boring if you're too obedient.

Jun: The hell am I supposed to do...

And no but seriously, is it really okay to keep going on like this~?

Hiyori: By which you mean...?

Jun: Come on . We've been doing nothing but work as Eve lately and rejecting anything that involves Eden, haven't we?

It seems like even the fans are pretty worried, y'know~

I've been getting desperate DMs on my personal socials, begging me to help "Hiyori-sama" and “Nagisa-sama" make up with each other.

I feel like they're barking up the wrong tree in asking me, but I totally get how worried they must be~

Even as someone in the crux of it, I dunno what all this chaos is gonna lead to and it's stressing me out to no end—

Hiyori: Hmm~... Sounds like a lot.

Jun: At least reply like you mean it! Why the hell are you acting like it's got nothing to do with you? This is pretty much all your fault! Just like it always is!

Hiyori: Haha. So that's how it seems to you, is it?

Jun: Come again? Don't you have anything to say for yourself? My life's a total mess all because of you, y'know!

Hiyori: ...Is it, now.

What wonderful news. Isn't that great? The fact that I can have such an impact on your life must mean I've become pretty significant to you, no?

Jun: Mm? You're saying that only now?

Hiyori: Yes, only now. You see, when it came to my family, it never really mattered to them whether I was there or not. Well, I was the one who chose this way of life, I suppose.

So that I wouldn't get in the way of my elder brother, or even give anyone the slightest inkling that I would...

So that they'd think of me as a pretty flower, simply blossoming away—

I lived with a desperation to keep a smile on my face, even if I had to force it. Posing as an innocuous little flower, free of poison, existing only to make those around me happy—

As a child, that was the safest and most comfortable way for me to live.

Jun: ......

Hiyori: Jun-kun. You grew up like a stray dog in a dirty back-alley, so this must all sound unthinkable to you...

From your perspective, as someone who never received proper love from your real parents...

I must seem like such a blessed person to have grown up in a family who loved and treasured me.

But even I have been fighting in my own way to avoid being devoured alive by this world.

My sweet smile is my weapon, my frivolous facade my strategy, and my title of a free-spirited, foolish second-born son is the armour that shields me.

I'm a genius, as you're well aware, so I have full confidence I've played my role splendidly.

Hiyori: So well that I could deceive even myself, in fact — and bit by bit, the line has started to blur between what is just an act, and what is truly the real me.

✦✦✦✦✦

← prev ✦ all ✦ next →

#hiyori tomoe #jun sazanami #enstars #ensemble stars #enstars translation #type: event #s: conquest #era: !! #status: complete #hyenahunttl

[heysatori]

Can you write about the Bakusquad, you know each of them, where y/n has been through a lot of heartbreaks and is unsure about relationships, but they reassure y/n that they won't do that and everything will be fine? And maybe a little fluff in the end for good measure.

Bakusquad reacting to y/n being scared of getting into a relationship genre: fluff, angst pairings: Bakugou x reader, Kirishima x reader, Sero x reader, Kaminari x reader, Ashido x reader a/n: sorry i responded to this a little late! all ive been doing is watching minecraft streams, watching anime and sleeping while balancing school work ehe (⌒_⌒;) but thank u sm for the request ! i hope this satisfies ur request ! disclaimer that the pictures im using arent mine ! they are from heroacacaps ! so credits to them ! if u guys want to scream at me u can dm me here or on my twitter ! @kodzusan (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡ im still accepting requests

Bakugou Katsuki

both you and bakugou were scared of relationships for different reasons

bakugou was scared because he knew how rough he was around the edges, if he was even fit to be in nice relationship 

you on the other hand were scared of relationships because of the amount of heartbreaks youve been through 

you were cheated on, broken up with, ghosted, and just left hanging 

after all those mistakes you learned ur lesson ! 

so after having bakugou come up to you, courting you in the nicest way possible (giving you a bowl of your favorite food), you didnt know how to react 

on surface level, katsuki had quite a few red flags here and there 

but since you had gotten to know the boy a little better over the course of time, you learned to understand why he is the way he is 

you trusted bakugou 

so having him court you was surprising 

although u had the fattest crush on him, you still didnt know what to do

so instead of refusing him with no reason, you explained your past to him (parts of which he already knew) 

he understood completely, all he wanted was to treat you right and make you happy !! 

“listen y/n, i know im a little rough around the edges, but i promise you that i wont do any of that stupid shit to you! all of your exes are absolute fuckin’ dumbasses for doing that to you and im here to treat you right and make you the happiest youve ever been! if you’ll let me” 

ヽ( `д´*)ノ <- he blushes a little at the end

although wary, u trust him 1000% !! 

so you accept his offer !! 

hes pretty shocked that you accepted and instantly pulls you in a hug ! 

“thank you, i promise you fucking wont regret this”

Kirishima Eijirou 

you had honestly fallen for eijirou the moment you met him 

but with your considerable bad love life you decided against pursuing after him 

but u couldnt help but feel urself get drawn towards him ! 

and surprise surprise ! you two become great friends ! 

but as time passes by, ur feelings for him become stronger, which is the total opposite of what u wanted  (╯︵╰,)

so its an even bigger surprise when kirishima comes up to you with your favorite flower, asking you to be his significant other 

he was so sweet but u were too scared to get into another relationship ! 

even though u and ur exes were in middle school at that time, those things still hurt you 

you explain all of this carefully to the redhead, not wanting to hurt his feelings 

he feels tears spring to his eyes as you tell him about your past 

he just wants to make you happy ! 

so without thinking, he pulls you into a hug 

“im so sorry that happened to you! you dont have to get with me if your scared! but just know that i wont ever, ever do those things to you! all i want is to make you happy, but its alright if you say no, ill still be here for you no matter what” 

overwhelmed with emotions, you end up tearing up as well, melting in his bear hug 

not wanting to make such a rash decision in the height of your emotions you tell the red head you’ll think about it (strongly hinting that you want to say yes)

Sero Hanta 

sero is a very chill man so your attraction to him was a little unexpected 

but you admire him a lot for a lot of things that he does !

u keep ur attraction to him on the down low though 

it felt a little one sided for a while

you two barely interacted and he didnt even look at you most of the time 

but your relationship with him took a sudden turn and u two became close friends !

you two bonded over mangas that you both read, occasionally spending time in his room to read the latest releases together !

one day, sero invited you to his room to read a romance manga he found out about a few days prior 

you come over and end up sharing the book since you didnt have ur own copy 

when you and sero reach a panel where the main characters aka the lovebirds finally kissed for the first time, the tall boy looked over to you 

“wish i could do this with you” he said gently 

NOTHING could explain how surprised u were !! 

“are you serious?” 

“of course i am” 

at this you explain to sero that although you reciprocate the feelings, relationships are a little rocky for you considering your past relationships 

sero wraps an arm around you and pulls you to his side, burying his nose in the side of your head 

“thats fine, you dont have to say yes, just you knowing that i like you is good enough for me, just know that i wouldnt ever think about doing those stupid things to you, but if i can make you happy now, then im already doing a great job” 

Kaminari Denki 

kaminari was a very sociable boy !! so it was impossible that you two werent friends after a few months you start to notice the way your cheeks tend to heat up when ur around the blond 

other people were also very aware at how when you and kaminari were together, both of you became blushing messes 

they didnt talk about it though 

they wanted the two oblivious dumbasses to figure it out themselves - ehem bakugou 

one day though, kaminari comes knocking at your door, looking ridiculously shy 

“uhm hi! i uh, i was, uhm, wondering if you maybe wanted to date me?” 

before you could even process what he said, he immediately took it back 

“wait no! uhm well i mean i like you a lot, thats why im asking! like a lot alot! i love your smile and your laugh and everything and i just, like making you happy, it makes me super duper ultra happy!”

although u want to accept denkis offer, your horrible dating life was looming over you

with this, you quietly tell denki that you dont think relationships are your thing 

he doesnt hesitate to ask you why !

you unwillingly tell him about your stupid relationships and hes quick to retaliate your self degrading words 

“hey! you arent stupid alright? you were young, things have changed! you’ve changed! i dont wanna force you into anything but just know, even if im a dumbass i wont treat you like that, ever! in fact, ill even be the best relationship youve ever had!” 

he pulls you into a hug not long after, squeezing you tight against his chest

“i trust you, sure, ill date you” (*˘︶˘*).｡.:*♡

Ashido Mina 

mina is a very determined person !

so when she wants something, she’ll get it one way or another 

so when she realized her big fat crush on you, she knew immediately that she wanted to date you 

and it wasnt just something about you, it was everything about you!

the way you stand, laugh, smile, talk, even if ur just sitting at your desk nodding off into sleep, she still thinks your the most amazing person ever (￣ε￣＠)

she doesnt hesitate to approach you after she is absolutely SURE about her feelings towards you

youre shocked of course, but you couldnt deny that you harbored feelings towards mina either 

you reluctantly tell her that although the feelings were mutual, you were still scared of getting into a relationship 

she listens carefully as u tell her about your past, rubbing your arm as comfort as you reveal a few of your insecurities 

“you didnt deserve any of that, i hope you know that! you dont have to say yes or anything, i dont want you to feel forced or pity, but i can treat you so much better that all of those jackasses! but we dont have to date for that, i can still do those things as a loving and good friend!” 

#bnha #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #bnha imagines #bnha drabbles #bnha headcanons #bakugou katsuki #bakugou x reader #bakugou headcanons #kirishima eijirou #kirishima x reader #kirishima headcanons #sero hanta #sero x reader #sero headcanons #kaminari denki #kaminari x reader #kaminari headcanons #mina ashido #mina x reader #mina headcanons #bakugou drabble #kirishima drabble #sero drabble #kaminari drabble #mina drabble #heysatori

[jaskiersvalley]

Hi! I absolutely ADORE your writing! And I have never dared to give idead to writers because it seems like I would be bothering y’all, but I really love how you adapt all these characters and make them so adorable. So I wanted to share an idea I got and see where you may take it.

Geralt gets to the point in wich he growls and bites Jaskier because he has no other way of containing all the emotions he has for this adorable and feral weirdo. So the reactions in Kaer Morhen to this would be absolutely hilarious.

Nonnie. Nonnie! This is beautiful. The perfect idea! Please, I beg you, never consider yourself a bother, you’re an absolute delight. You’re always welcome to drop by in asks or DMs if you wish. And I’m sure any writer who is open to prompts would be over the moon to hear from you (though I am very happy you came to me, I shall forever think of you as *my* Nonnie now).

Bite Those Odds

The year Gearlt finally brought his ‘friend’ to Kaer Morhen was the year Lambert and Eskel had a lot of fun. And lost a lot of gwent cards while gaining a lot more chores. While they had teased Geralt that Jaskier was just a friend, they rapidly realised that indeed there was nothing more between the bard and his witcher. It was painful to watch. Even Vesemir sighed heavily at intermittent moments when Jaskier openly flirted with Geralt but it flew over a beautifully empty white head.

“You’re going to have try a new tactic,” Eskel whispered to Jaskier in the kitchen. “Please, standing on the top of a table and singing his praise hasn’t worked, try something else.”

Famous last words because Jaskier did indeed change his attempts. Outright wooing of Geralt hadn’t worked so obviously the only thing to do was make him jealous. That wasn’t going great either to be honest. Geralt glowered and glared when Jaskier heaped praise upon Lambert then turned around to compliment Eskel. Not even Vesemir was left out of the sudden adoration of all witchers.

There was only one solution. Eskel shuffled into the kitchen and held up his most hallowed gwent card.

“Geralt will snap in the next three days.”

In response Lambert added a bottle of his moonshine. “He won’t do shit until spring.”

Dutifully, Vesemir took the offerings. “Bank says he’ll react without realising why. Three chores can be deposited for a win.”

The next day Geralt snapped at Eskel when Jaskier sat down next to him, pressing their thighs together. As soon as bard and white wolf were out of the hall, Vesemir pulled out a pair of fur lined gloves.

“Bank says he’ll get into a fight with one of you.”

Two more gwent cards and a couple of bottles of potions were pocketed as bets went about who would actually end up fighting Geralt. While Lambert bet on himself, Eskel thought there would be no fighting.

By the next evening, Jaskier was in Geralt’s lap, looking quite smug and comfortable. However, it wasn’t quite the result the others were hoping for. Because the two idiots still weren’t together.

“The benches are uncomfortable to sit on,” Geralt had muttered as he’d pulled Jaskier into his lap.

Feeling brave, Eskel settled next to them and began eating, happily pushing a pouch of coin across the table with a cheery aard towards Vesemir.

“Tomorrow.”

Immediately Lambert was tearing a page from Jaskier’s journal and scribbling a furious IOU for chores. Scrunching it up, he tossed it to Vesemir. “Spring.”

Nodding, Vesemir pocketed them with a soft “tonight”.

It made no sense and Jaskier decided he would rather ignore it than get caught up in such shenanigans. Instead, he turned his attention to Eskel. “Darling, you have a bit of food-”

Pointing at his own face, Jaskier tried to show where it was. Eskel copied him and wiped at the wrong side of his face which had Jaskier tutting impatiently.

“Here.” Reaching out, Jaskier made to cup Eskel’s cheek and wipe the smear way with his thumb.

There was a fierce, rumbling growl and Jaskier’s hand froze half stretched out because a powerful jaw had clamped down on his forearm. For a second nobody moved, not even Geralt who Jaskier’s arm in his mouth.

“If you’re still hungry, you should have said something dear,” Jaskier laughed. With his free hand he poked Geralt’s nose. “Off. Now. You have better manners than this.”

Suitably embarrassed, Geralt let go. As Jaskier was in his lap, he couldn’t exactly run away. At least not unless-

“You brute! Put me down!” Geralt was standing with Jaskier thrown over one shoulder. “Actually, nice view. Keep me here.” Stretching a little, Jaskier reached down and gave Geralt’s backside a squeeze then a pat. “I’ll die happy.”

“You could die happier,” Geralt muttered darkly, eyes firmly glued to the far wall.

“Oh could I? Yes please!” Jaskier squirmed impatiently. “Take me to the bedroom now and let me die a happy little death.”

Turning sharply, Geralt marched out of the room and Jaskier cheered.

“Fuck.” Eskel watched them leave, face creased in annoyance and Lambert echoed the sentiment.

Sitting back, Vesemir looked quite smug. “Bank wins. Again. Thanks for playing, come back for more.”

#geraskier #geralt of rivia #jaskier #lambert #eskel #vesemir #witcher wolf pack #tldr: vesemir is just as bad at betting as the others

[whisperlullaby]

Just Say It And I’m Yours- Ch.5

Summary: Steve is away on a mission and Connor asks you out again and this time you don’t have a reason to say no.

Words: 1766

Warnings: None? Pining, Steve being dumb...just buckle up he’s gonna be dumb for a while. Allusions to toxic family life. (if I missed anything let me know)

A/N: Super special thanks to @river-soul for being the best beta! Thanks to @dreamslikeaheartbeat for the phenomenal banner. If I missed any warnings let me know and please if you’re a minor DNI. 

Tag: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @bestofbucky @loveyou5everr @purselover2 @sweeterthanthis​ @freyagreyson​ @saiyanprincessswanie if you want to be on my taglist send me a DM. If you want to be taken off my taglist also send me a DM.

The weekend went by in a blur. You were heartbroken when Steve told you the almost kiss meant nothing, could mean nothing. You dreamt for months about the feel of his lips on yours and now you would never know what it would be like to kiss him. Steve didn’t want anything more than a friendship with you and after drinking your sorrows away for a weekend you reaffirmed your resolve to be his friend. He was trying to find himself, just like you, and it wouldn’t be fair to ask for more than he was willing to give. After spending all of your free time with Steve, he became your person, and when it boiled down to it you would rather have this version of Steve in your life than try to force something more and lose him altogether. 

You knew the toxicity of being forced to do something you didn’t want to do just to make someone else happy. Not just from working in your chosen field, but from your family life. You lived your whole life to please your family only to realize one day that it wasn’t what you wanted at all. When you told them you had a different path you wanted to take they cut you off and cast you aside. It was the best thing to ever happen to you because it let you have the freedom you needed to learn more about yourself and figure out who you wanted to be. 

That experience left you feeling self-conscious and compliant, ever the people pleaser with poor boundaries. You were determined to move past those feelings even though it was going to be a long road, you owed it to yourself. Being forced to move to a new city was a blessing as it allowed you to grow into a person you felt more proud of. You met Steve a week later and between feeling confident for the first time in years, and Steve looking at you like you hung the stars, you were beginning to feel like you finally found where you belonged. When he told you that you could just pretend the kiss didn’t happen you swore you heard your heart shatter. But you found yourself once before, you could do it again. It’s not like you lost Steve completely, he just needed a friend more than he needed a partner. 

So, you steeled yourself against the heartache. Steve needed to get back to his Captain America duties and you needed that distance to figure yourself out again. He had told you that he was going to be gone for at least a week doing recon work, which meant for the first time since you met him you wouldn’t have Friday movie night.

It turned out to be fortuitous that he was gone because your caseload doubled for the week. By Friday you were up to your elbows in paperwork when Connor walked into your office.

“Hey there, darling. You look busy.”

You looked up and narrowed your eyes. “Yeah, it’s what people who are invested in the wellbeing of others look like. Busy.”

Connor snickered. “Well, I just wanted to know if you wanted to get dinner tonight. No shop talk required.”

You froze. You were expecting it, of course, Connor asked you out every week. This time was a bit different though since you knew Steve didn’t feel the same way you felt about him. Truth be told, part of the reason you always turned Connor down was on the off chance Steve would ask you out. You deserved a chance to be with someone who wanted to be with you too. You were hesitant but you needed to start getting over your crush on Captain America.

“Sure Connor,” you sighed. “Why not? Give me 20 minutes and I’ll meet you outside.”

Connor perked up. “Yeah, whatever you need. It’s not a no this time?”

“It’s not a no this time. I just have a few things I need to finish up,” you tapped the pile of paperwork.

“No problem, I’ll bring my car around.” Connor practically skipped out of your office.

When you heard the door click shut you pulled your phone out and sent Steve a text.

“Hey, I know you’re busy but could you and Bucky come over tomorrow night when you get back? It’s been a long week.”

You flipped your phone over not expecting a response when your phone chirped.

“Of course, doll. I’ll let you know when we land and we’ll come over.”

You let out a cleansing breath. If you were going to tell Steve about your date, you were going to need a Bucky buffer. 

////////////

It was around 8:00 pm when Steve and Bucky got to your apartment. You didn’t miss the way you felt relief wash over you when you saw Steve standing outside your door. After they hung up their coats they each pulled you in for a hug. Bucky’s was quick and he placed a chaste kiss on your forehead. Steve squeezed you tight, almost as if he was afraid to let go, swaying as he stood there. You melted into his embrace for a moment before pulling away.

“I’m sorry for missing movie night, sweetheart. I hope it doesn’t happen again,” Steve lamented.

“I hope it doesn’t either.” You nodded, moving into the kitchen. “Thirsty?”

“Sure I’ll take a beer if you have one.” Steve plopped down on your couch.

“Same here sparky.” Bucky sat in the recliner putting his feet on your coffee table.

You gave him a quizzical look. “Sparky?”

Bucky looked at Steve then back at you. “Yeah, ‘cause you’re like a firecracker, so, Sparky.”

You let out a bubbly laugh. “Alright, tinman, whatever you say.”

Bucky pouted as you handed him his beer and kicked his feet off your coffee table. You handed Steve his and watched him drain half the bottle as you sat down.

“You better use a goddamned coaster or I swear to god you’re buying me a new coffee table.” You threw a coaster at Steve’s face just before his glass hit the table. 

 He laughed as he caught the coaster and placed it on the table under his glass.

“So, what’s new? I have to admit I got a bit nervous when you asked us to come over when we got back.” Steve raised his eyebrow staring you down. 

You began to fidget. Your eyes shifted between Steve and Bucky trying to figure out the easiest way to tell them about your date last night. You caught Steve’s eyes as they filled with concern. He knew you better than anyone so you knew that fidgeting was a dead give away that something wasn’t quite right.

“Doll, is everything okay?” Steve reached out and touched your shoulder.

“Yeah,” you rushed out. “I just, um, Connor asked me on a date. Since you were on a mission, I said yes. We went out last night.”

You looked up at Steve searching his eyes for anything to give him away. His hand fell from your shoulder and you heard Bucky choke a little on his beer. Steve’s eyes snapped towards his friend as he leaned down to pick up his own drink. You had hoped Bucky’s presence would make the news a bit more casual so you wouldn’t feel the heaviness fill your chest like lead as you waited for Steve’s reaction.

“Oh, Connor? Isn’t that the guy that irons his jeans?” Steve joked. Only it wasn’t really a joke, Connor really liked ironing.

“I mean yeah, but that seems like a livable concession.” You rolled your eyes. “Besides it’s not like I have any other suitors.” You cocked your head thoughtfully playing with the rim of your glass. 

“How did it go?” Steve was staring at his hands. If there was anything you were an expert at, it was reading Steve Rogers like a damned book and he was avoiding your eye contact for a reason. 

“It actually went really great. He took me to that French place across town, you know the one that looks way too pretentious to eat at. We have a lot more in common than I thought.” You bit your lip before you continued. “I wanted to know if my dating him would bother you. It would definitely limit my free time and I know how much you love my company. Though I think Bucky’s starting to feel left out.” 

You chuckled when you heard Bucky scoff and turned your head to stick your tongue out at him.

Turning back to Steve you tried to catch his eye. “I just want to know if there is absolutely any reason my dating Connor would make you uncomfortable.”

Steve considered your question for a minute. He had no reason to tell you who you could and could not date, especially after he told you he would rather be friends. You had almost hoped that he would admit to the sparks clearly happening between the two of you. You were taking measured breaths waiting for him to say something. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky staring Steve down as if he was trying to have a silent conversation. Steve took another sip of his beer before turning to you.

“I think you deserve to be happy. If Connor can do that for you then I am happy for you,” Steve said, pursing his lips.

You felt tears spring to your eyes and willed them back.

“Great, cool, okay.” You gathered the empty bottles and ran into the kitchen. “I’ll get us some refills.”

That was it. You knew you weren’t going to be able to convince Steve to fight for you, and you owed it to yourself to give Connor a shot. As you grabbed new beers out of the fridge you reminisced about the times when you and Steve would stay up late sharing your favorite songs, how when you saw a kid lose his balloon Steve bought the vendor out just to cheer them up, and how he knew exactly how you took your coffee after the second coffee run you made together. 

You hoped Connor would be able to give you some of those happy memories, but there was a nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach telling you something wasn’t right. You pushed that feeling down a little bit further, refusing to listen to it. It was probably just the part of you still hung up on Steve and nothing a little time wouldn’t fix.

#just say it and i'm yours #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve rogers x you #captain america x reader #captain america x you #marvel fanfiction #steve rogers series

[tsukidrama]

Hello hello! Pink anon here, I really need to get better at answering faster. I guess it feels more like a letter now? If you celebrate Easter/Passover/Ramadan, I hope you had a good weekend! If not, I say the same! I say this a lot, but I was very busy. I'm officially on spring break now, so I plan on answering much faster. Thank you for being so patient!

I noticed you have requests open, specifically for TRNT related Annie content, and I'd like to submit something! I live by the ocean and it's been really gorgeous lately, and whenever I look at it I imagine a beach date with Annie and the reader. Maybe Annie finally gets to let loose, build a sand castle, play in the water. Just something fluffy, maybe they could have a picnic. I've also thought a proposal fic would be cute in the TRNT universe, whatever works for you! Just some ideas I thought would be nice.

oh don't worry about that! it happens and life gets busy. i'm happy to hear from you as always though! i guess we do easter in my family but it wasn't much. i've been keeping it lowkey lately and trying to improve my mental health, etc, trying to become the best tsuki i can be.

aahh yes these are all good ideas for sure! and they all mesh well with the themes of the story -- once again also ideas I've had for the story i love how we are on the same wavelength about the soft annie dates.

✅ beach date request accepted!!! YES QUEEN ✅ already was planning a picnic at some point, agreed it's a very cute and fitting cottagecore idea! ✅ OHHHHH YEAH I MEAN,, I HAVE THOUGHTS ON PROPOSAL/WEDDING BUT I'M NOT GONNA POST THEM ON MAIN BECAUSE SPOILERS AND STUFF. AA. (BUT IF YOU ARE EVER BRAVE ENOUGH TO DM ME I WILL ABSOLUTELY TELL YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT THE ANY FIC JUST SAYING)

> "Annie hasn't even hit rock bottom yet." I am very worried for her! I just want to make her some soup and cuddle up on the couch, that's it. She deserves it. Papa can have some too, he's trying his best. <

> I don't know if I've talked about "Please be... My alibi" yet, to be honest I have a terrible memory. However, I really enjoyed it, it is probably one of my favorites, despite the terrible pain. The ending hit very hard for me, the fact that Annie couldn't say "I love you," but she could write it down. I don't know if that counts as a trope, as I've only seen it a few times, but nonetheless I love it so much. I am truly, very satisfied with how that chapter went, and I'm very much looking forward to the finale. <

ghgjgkgh yeah.. honestly she really needs some cuddles and soup. poor thing has really been going through it lately. i'm in kind of a rut right now - normally writing TRNT clears my skin and waters my crops but this sad chapter (9) is killing me. and the thing that sucks about being the writer is that I'm sitting here rolling on the floor crying by myself bc i don't wanna spoil, and by the time i post the chapter I'll have gone through the 5 stages of grief already. TRNT IS HARD TO PROCESS ALONE 💔

YOU HAVEN'T YET SO I'VE VERY HAPPY TO HEAR A LIL REVIEW FROM YOU, THANK YOU DEAREST 💕 I LOVE YOUUU ugh... poor baby. she's so repressed that i don't think she could ever bring herself to say it out loud pre-crystal. part of the PAAAAAINN is the fact that in please be, it's meant to be a little questionable if the note is just a lie that gets reader to keep quiet. some of the thoughts that you're left with at the end about doubting Annie are intentionally there to make y'all doubt. sorry sorry sorry she loves us sooo so much in reality but i've got to give reader the emotional damage she's got by the time TRNT rolls around. SORRY!

> I agree with what you wrote about SNK being deeper than what a lot of people understand about it. You really have to consider the fact that characters don't just "do" things, they were written to do things, by someone that has their own motives and reasons. In order to really understand it, you have to dig deep. I especially agree with that "challenge as a writer" statement, having a canon like SNK really adds to the experience of writing for these characters. <

ohhh hell yes, pink anon coming up here being all philosophical and shit! this is what i like to see. i know that everybody likes to say that they know their faves better than the creator but when it comes to snk.... i tend to believe the stans. the interpretations of people who care about the characters are sooo much better whatever bullshit the loud ignorant masses like to spout on twitter or reddit or whatever crap the ending offers.

yes! completely agreed. writing for snk canon is unparalleled and so when people choose NOT to write in it,, i'm kinda just like. why? canon is so fun, maybe it's intimidating though. that's WHY it's fun! i know you get it!

> Calling Part 3 the "mother of all angst" doesn't exactly comfort me, but I feel like I'm prepared! I have my tissues and my notes app open, just in case I feel so sad I have to write some fluff. <

> On a slightly angstier note, I'd like to say that the song "Harbor" by Clairo, really reminds me of Annie and the reader in TRNT, though I hope they get a better ending than whoever the song is about. The whole album's aesthetic really fits the whole "Cottage-canon" in my opinion. <

yyyeyeeaaaaaahhhh it's going to be quite bad. unfortunately it'll probably still take me a while to write, at least another month or so. but an attempt is being made!! i think about it all the time.

awww man, that is really sad. i do see what you mean! the vibe of the song does really fit the vibe of TRNT, minus the unrequited love of course. everybody cares SO much there's just miscommunication at first. i know i'm writing slow as fuck but TRNT is going to get a lot happier in the overall story

> Happy spring, <

Pink Anon

> (P.S. Recently I've been watching this show called "The Wilds" in my free time, when I'm taking a break from school and writing, and I feel like you would really enjoy it. There are a lot of conflicted characters, and I'm really liking it so far. Just a recommendation!) <

happy spring! sorry that this took me a while to respond to, I've just been kind of overwhelmed and distracted. it's always so good to hear from you. i hope you're doing well 💕💕

ohhh i've seen that advertised! mars works a lot this week and i'm looking for new things to watch so i may take it up! you do know how i like my conflicted characters

#tsuki answers #pink anon #cottagecanon #trnt annie

[unnamedelement]

You Carry Them in Your Heart: Ficlet for Diverse Tolkien Week

I wrote this little snippet this morning in honor of @diversetolkien​‘s Diverse Tolkien Week, using the prompts “Women of Color,” “Culture,” and “Anti-racism.” It is inspired by a number of blatant headcanons (and some canon-based meta, imho), and the versions of Legolas and Mirkwood that exist in my own work. 

Further, it is inspired by my own relationship with my messy and ethnically-complex family history. While I will never know what it is to not be white in this world, I do know what it is for whiteness and for imperialism to steal the truth from you. I do know how badly it hurts to never be able to reach those parts of you whose stories were erased; how it hurts to know that your family’s language was beaten out of them; how it hurts to know that someone somewhere in the past started shaming children for their questions and teaching them lies about their brown skin. I know how it feels to have nameless grandmothers, to have ancestors whose stories were lost to time and shame and trauma, to the endless march of the victor’s narrative.

So, all that is where this little ficlet is coming from. My own family shit, but also Mirkwood and its arguably colonial positioning, plus all my own very gratuitous worldbuilding and headcanons. 

You Carry Them in Your Heart 

It was midafternoon and the sun shone weakly overhead, and Legolas and his mother were traveling with a small group of elves. It was cold but not too cold, but Legolas was young, and his mother had buttoned him into the fisherman’s sweater gifted him by the Lakemen before they set out that morning. 

“Mother,” he asked quietly, and he curled his fingers into his mother’s shawl from where he rode behind, pickaback, and he listened vaguely to the murmurs and melodies of the elves around him. “Why are the Men of the Lake pale like moonlight?”

It was the first time his mother had taken him with her on her trade trips to negotiate with the men around Mirkwood, and he had had many questions.

“Your father is pale like moonlight, emlineg,” his mother responded, hitching him up slightly so his face was pressed momentarily into her curls.

“He is not,” Legolas said, shaking his head firmly. “He is pale like sunlight.”

“Your friend Ithildim is pale like moonlight,” his mother answered smoothly.

“Hm,” he said quietly, and he laid his head on her back, raised a hand to stifle a yawn, for they had been up since long before sunrise. “Ithildim is pale like moonlight...”

There was quiet for a time and Legolas watched those traveling around him. They walked up the River and back toward the wood, and his home was a dark mound on the horizon. The elves around him, however, were not all pale like moonlight. They were some of them the moon, yes, but they were also autumn trees under sun, were hazelnut and chestnut, every shade of the endless wood. 

He spoke again: “The Lake is to the east of our home, Mother?”

“It is, child.”

“Saida said the men of the West are different than those of the Long Lake.”

His mother laughed lightly, and Legolas gripped her tighter. “And how would Saida know anything about the men of the Western Woods?”

“Her brother has told her,” Legolas said eagerly. “For he is a captain and has seen many things! He says the people to the West run the plain outside our woods, and they worship the North Sun.”

“And so do you, emlineg,” his mother countered. “The Sun brings us warmth after long winters, does it not?”

Legolas reached a hand out into the air around them and the wind played between his fingers.

“But she says those Men are not pale like moonlight, Mother. They are like loam beneath leaf mould after winter.”

“Like you, then?” his mother asked wryly.

Legolas shook his head behind her. 

“Like me?” she tried again.

He shook his head once more. “You are too dark, and I am too light. And they are cool, like clay under silt.”

“Ah,” his mother murmured, and Legolas felt it vibrate from her into him as he pulled his hand back in, wrapped it gently in that hair that was so like his own. “Saida knows a lot for just being told.”

“Her brother is also an artist,” Legolas said matter-of-factly. “He draws her pictures of his travels in the evenings, in their camps. He brings them home to her and tells her stories. His stories are like picture books. I have heard them, too.”

“That is nice of him.”

“Yes. I wish Felavel could draw like him.”

“Felavel brings you back other things from her work,” his mother said neutrally.

“Yes, and I love them—there are so many different things in our Wood!”

“There are, child.”

It was quiet again for a long time. Legolas knit his mother’s hair between his fingers like a loom; her hair was a dark blackwater that contrasted with his tawny skin, warm as the hair she had plaited from his face into a knot that morning, to keep it tidy during travel. He loosened his hold on his mother’s hair and it unwound from his hands like a spring. He scratched at a braid that tugged at his hairline and then turned his attention again to the elves around him. Their hair was light to dark, cornsilk to coils, but the Men of the Lake had hair that waved like gentle weave in shades of brown, and those of the Western Plains had hair that fell in a sheet like dark and windless rain. The men of those places had one hair, it seemed—not many.

He shifted against his mother’s back and spoke: “Why do all the Men in one place look the same, but we elves here—in our one place, in our Wood—we do not?”

His mother did not answer for a moment, and he could feel her thinking, and he matched his breaths to hers while she pondered. She readjusted her hold on his thighs, and Legolas waited.

“Our people are complicated, Legolas,” his mother finally said. “We come from many places and many cultures and many histories, but we all eventually made Mirkwood our home.”

“Ithildim says he has been here forever.”

She laughed. “Many of his mother’s people are Avarin, Legolas. But they have not been here forever, though they have been here longer than even our own folk”

“And much longer than Father’s,” Legolas said assuredly. “Well,” he immediately corrected himself, “than—than his father. Is that right, Mother?”

“You have many questions, emlineg,” his mother said, but she was laughing again. “When we return, I will be telling your father you are finally old enough to begin your studies!”

Legolas shrugged and then squirmed to be let down. She dropped him to the ground and he took her hand.

“That is all right, I guess,” he finally said, and she swung their hands between them. “I think I  want to understand.”

There was quiet as they began their journey again, as they watched the wide and wild world move about them.

“The most important thing for you to know, emlineg,” his mother said finally, after they had walked together for a time, and had fallen slightly behind the others due to Legolas’ small legs. “Is that we are all wood-elves, and that you have parts of all of its folk—East and West of the Mountains—in your soul, and your history. You are the creation of all those who came before you, and you carry them in your heart, where'er you go.”

Legolas looked up at her, and her dark hazel eyes were wide and bright and shining in her face; her hand was tight on his. 

“That is a beautiful thing, child,” his mother whispered. “You must never forget that.”

Legolas stood and watched her without moving for a moment, for there was something happening here that he knew he was not quite old enough to understand, but it seemed so important to his mother...

He eventually raised his arms into the air without words and she picked him up. She adjusted him so he could tuck his head against her chest, so his legs dangled to either side of her hips.

They were almost caught up with their folk when Legolas finally affirmed, voice muffled in her shawl and cut short by a yawn: “I shall never forget it, Mother.”

And she pressed a kiss to his head then, and he let himself drift as the river cut the plains and they eventually breached the wood; let himself drift as voices were lifted in song, as birds wove their notes in his mind; as it fell to darkness around them and the Sun fled them and the night came down heavy; and he drifted, too, as they went through the great gates and crossed the bridge into the Halls. 

He did not even truly wake as his mother handed him to his father, as they hugged above him, as golden hair caught blackwater curls and tickled his tired nose.

That is a beautiful thing, child. You must never forget that. 

But he was safe and he was warm and he was loved, and that was beautiful, and elves—

Elves do not forget.

He adjusted himself against his father’s chest and felt his mother’s hand brush his cheek; his father’s heartbeat was strong and steady in his ears as they moved toward his room, and it was a bass drum at festival that beat in time with his; it was a lullaby that reassured him into sleep.

.o.

Years would pass, and Legolas’ mother would leave them, and so much of what and who he was would flee. 

And yet, even after all that—even after his mother was but a memory in the wood-elves’ storied past—Legolas would carry her inside him. 

He would let her beat in his heart with the dozens of mothers of their people that had come before them—that he had never known—and he would carry them forward, and on.

And to the day that he sailed oversea, Legolas would never ever forget.

FIN

Please reach out to me in a DM/chat if you feel I have written something insensitive. I would be happy to speak with you.

#dvtw21 #legolas #mirkwood fam #diversity in middle earth #my fanfiction #my family trauma shit #lmao haha its fine #cw cultural erasure #lotr fanfiction #throwing my work and my own vulnerability into the world as if i am made of steel and not a delicate flower #long post #diversetolkienweek #silvan elves #wood-elves