#“James doesn’t really care about gender or whatever”

[olivers-cocoapuffs]

Queer James who doesn’t want a label. Queer James who isn’t 100% accepting of himself, even though he’s working on it. Queer James who is a bit of a whore. Queer James who spent years confused and in the closet. Queer James who isn’t “perfect”

#“James doesn’t really care about gender or whatever” #“He’s Just himself” #YOURE DESCRIBING AN UNLABELLED PERSON #JUST SAY IT #NOT EVERYTHING NEEDS A LABEL GOD DAMN IT #and he’s not a perfect person #let him be messy #james potter #the marauders #marauders era

[sacchxrine05]

Yuumori Characters as Disney Princesses (cus I’m bored :))

I’m gonna preface this by saying that some of these you’re just gonna have to trust me on cus I chose them just from pure vibes alone and went from there. I also haven’t re-read/watched Yuumori in a while nor have I watched any Disney movies as of late so again, just trust me bro lmao. I came up with most of these at 2am so sorry in advance.

Also, if someone has already done this, I’m sorry and I hope my choices aren’t just the same lmao.

Liam - Aurora/Sleeping Beauty

So this one is mostly just cus they both ended up sleeping for a long ass time lmao. Liam was in a coma after the fall for x months and Aurora was cursed to an eternal sleep unless her true love kissed her awake (we won’t talk about the horrors of the original fairytale, I’ve tried to blank that out of my memory tyvm). They’re also both blondes…uh huh. Aurora doesn’t have much personality that I can remember other than being an animal lover and a good singer so…that’s just all I have lmao. I also just think Liam would make a very cute Sleeping Beauty lmao.

Albert - Jasmine

I did consider giving Albert Rapunzel cus of the whole locked away in a tower thing, but outside of that and having shitty mothers (Mother Gothel wasn’t even Rapunzel’s real mother but still) there isn’t much similarity personality wise? Idk. I picked Jasmine just cus they both come from rich families yet have no patience for other rich people. Jasmine also disguised herself and went into the town/city to pretend she was a normal person and that feels kinda Albert-ish? They’re also both smart and sarcastic so Y’know.

Louis - Cinderella

This one feels kinda obvious lmao. Both were raised by awful rich people who treated them like a servant, both were orphans and both tended to the upkeep of their homes. I do think Louis has more of a backbone than Cinderella, especially towards the end of Part 1 of the manga. Also again: both are blondes lmao.

Moran - Merida

So…this one is mostly vibes but also not. I think Moran has a similar wild streak to Merida and accidentally turning a loved one into a bear because he didn’t watch his wording when asking a witch for a spell sounds like something Moran might do? Bear (hah) in mind I haven’t re-read Yuumori in a while so I may be wrong on that. Also I guess bows and arrows were the guns before guns were invented so…so there’s that lmao.

Bonde - Mulan

Feels like another obvious one? They both disguised their genders to achieve a goal (although I did interpret James to be a trans man whereas Mulan wasn’t rly? Cus she went back to presenting as female after the war so idk). They’re also both pretty outspoken and don’t care for the roles society has put them in as women and actively break that stigma (Mulan by going to war and James by often dressing as men even before he transitioned). Idk I just like this one lmao.

Fred - Snow White

Again, this is mostly vibes. I’m pretty sure Snow White is the youngest of the Disney Princesses at 14 (Don’t quote me on that cus I could be wrong), so I feel like that parallels Fred being the youngest of the Crime Gang. Snow White also has a connection to animals which can also connect to Fred’s love of cats and nature in general as he does most (all?) of the gardening. I think they’re both pretty quiet and shy and that’s all I really have lmao.

Mycroft - Megara

Okay, okay, relax, I know Megara isn’t an official Disney Princess (she SHOULD be, but whatever), but she’s the only one I could really see as being similar to Mycroft? Ya’ll are really just gonna have to trust me on this one lmao. I just think they’re both pretty independent and cynical and sarcastic and just…I really don’t know the vibes just fit, I can’t explain it.

Sherlock - Ariel

OKAY👏HEAR👏ME👏OUT. This is the only one I’m 100% confident on BSJDNKFS. They both have a niche obsession that they collect items from, Ariel with humans and Sherlock with Mysteries/Crime. They both make massive life changes for the man they love (a man which, by the way, they barely knew lmao), Ariel in becoming human and Sherlock by leaving his life, family & friends behind to live with Liam in New York. They also almost died to achieve this, Sherl from leaping off a goddamn bridge to save Liam and Ariel by her deal with Ursula. IT WORKS, I’M TELLING YOU.

That’s all I have, I was gonna do other characters but I just hit a brick wall with it lmao. (I considered John to be either Tiana or Belle, but I’ll leave that up to you 👀)

If you made it this far thank you for listening to my bullshit lmao.

#moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #sherlock holmes #william james moriarty #albert james moriarty #louis james moriarty #sebastian moran #james bonde #fred porlock #mycroft holmes #sherliam

[starsval]

"I really like you" "I really like you too"

Remus x Reader

Summary: Remus taking care of you while you're high, which ends up in a confesion.

Word count: 2,9k

Warnings: Smoking, mentions of weed, kissing, fluff, swearing, mentions of eating, hickeys

A/N: I don't think I specify the reader's gender so yeah.

What could go wrong? It was friday and you really wanted to do something fun. Why wouldn’t you smoke some weed with Sirius? 

Well, you knew why, because it always happens. You always end up so dizzy that you can barely stand up. But at least you’re having fun. I guess.

That’s what you think as you laugh at Sirius, who is now trying to do a handstand, despite you actively telling him that it’s a bad idea. Luckily, the door opens before he can continue, but you’re too busy trying to get the joint from Sirius to notice James and Remus looking at you from the doorway.

“Okay” James is the first one to talk. “I think that’s enough” He says as he tries to get the joint from Sirius, who refuses to, giving him a speech about how he’s an independent man and can do whatever he likes to, doesn’t sound too convincing because he has been giggling all the time though. But, anyway, you intervene before James can answer.

“It’s fine, I’ll take it” You say as you take the joint away from Sirius hand and put it in your mouth, while your head hangs backward from the bed. But you can barely inhale before Remus appears in front of you and takes the joint away from your lips, his fingers riskily close to your mouth for your high ass.

“No it’s not fine, I’ll take it” He says as he turns off the joint and helps you sit correctly in bed, with his hand on your back, making your face heat up. God, why am I so pathetic?. You ask yourself, well, that’s what you think, but you’re proved wrong when you turn your head to a Remus with a cocky grin on his face.

“And why’s that, love?” He asks as he leads you out of the room.

“I said that out loud, didn’t I?” You ask more to yourself than to him, still processing the change of scenery “Wait, where are we going?”  

“To your room, so you can sleep it off” He says, leading you to the stairs.

“I don’t want to sleep it off, I can barely sleep when I’m high, you know that, well you should, because I’ve been high a worryingly amount of times you know” You giggle as you talk. “Wow, that took a lot of time to say, am I, like, talking really slow right now?” You look at him waiting for an answer as he opens your room’s door. But you don’t enter, you stay there, looking at him, He’s so fucking hot it’s not fair You sight, knowing that you didn’t said that out loud, because you were used to thinking that at this point.

“Aren’t you going to get in?” He asks, waiting for you at the other side of the door.

“Aren’t you going to answer?” You say, looking at him hiding a smirk. To which he rolls his eyes and drags you in by your wrist, closing the door as you lay on your bed.

“I’ve seen you talking slower” He simply replies as he takes your shoes off, shoving off your hands as you try to help, making you laugh. “You didn’t answer my question either” He casually says while giving you a bottle of water that you had somewhere in your room.

“What question?” You ask him, grabbing the bottle but not drinking it.

“You don’t remember?” He says, smiling as he sits besides you.

“Don’t do this to me, I can’t remember how I got here this fast” You grunt, rolling in bed.

“Well, you said two whole sentences in the way” You give him a bad look, making him laugh. “You said that you were pathetic, why?”

“Oh” You laugh, because you may be high but you know that he knows why “Yeah, that”

“Yeah, that” He looks at you, waiting for an answer, but you just stare at the ceiling, smiling for some reason. “Are you gonna tell me why?”

“No” You simply tell him.

He raises an eyebrow “Why?”

“Because it’s not fair, you always ask me questions when I’m like this and I get all flustered and then you make fun of me” You change positions, putting your head on his lap and looking at him.

“You also get flustered when I do it when you’re not like this, might as well try it when you’re not in conditions to hit me” You laugh, remembering that situation.

“Yes, but if I do it I want to be sober”

“Do what?” You roll your eyes.

“You know what”

“Do I?”

“Yes you do, now shut up and let me sleep” You say, closing your eyes.

“Though you didn’t want to sleep it off”

“Oh, yeah” You open your eyes again.

“How was that date you had?” He asks you.

“You’re doing it again” He laughs.

“I know, love, just answer, yes?”

“It was nice I guess” You frown, remembering how boring it was.

“What’s the point of answering if you’re going to lie?” You sight, you were already falling asleep.

“They’re hot, but it was boring”

“Do you only go to dates with hot people?” He says, raising an eyebrow. 

“I also like to go with people who ask me weird questions while I’m high, but haven’t had the opportunity to do that yet” 

He grins. “I’m not going to be the one to stop you, but better talk this when you’re not in slow motion?” You laugh.

“Sure, so you can see me get all flustered and embarrassed and I have the chance to hit you”

“Yes, I’d love that”

“Sure” You say, trying to not fall asleep.

“Why don’t you sleep?” He asks, laughing at your tries to keep your eyes open.

“Shut up” You say, changing positions again, putting your head on a pillow. “You know I’m gonna avoid you tomorrow right?” You tell him.

“You can try” He says, laughing once again. “But remember who has the map���

“Shit” You say, remembering that you gave it to him a couple of days ago. “I can always run away”

“You know I’ll find you anyway, I always do”

“Just let me be happy for a moment, okay Rem?”

“Sure” The last thing you hear is his laugh.

Then you fall asleep, well, half asleep. The last you remember is Remus looking at you, then putting a blanket over you and saying something about “the one who didn’t sleep while being high”.

ᰔᩚෆ❧ღდლ❦ও❥ଓ 

And then you wake up to a really sleepy Sirius, who just collapsed on your bed, then you appreciate the water Remus gave you last night. You sit in bed to drink the water, while Sirius says that he’ll never smoke again, then you remember what you told Remus and almost spit the water out.

“Shit Y/n, what happened?” Sirius asks as you get up and quickly change your clothes.

“Shit, shit, shit” You mumble while tying your shoes.

“I would like some context”

“Where's Remus?” You ask him.

“And now you ask me about Moony, amazing, the audacity-” You cut him off.

“I kind of confessed to him last night” You blurt out.

“What. Are you being serious right now?” He says, but he’s smiling.

“Actually, you’re Sirius so-” You smile, stealing the joke from him.

“Y/n, they’re coming here right now”

“What” You deadpan.

“Yes, what’s your plan anyway? Run away?” It could work if Remus didn’t have this sixth instinct, which made him always find you.

“Yes, that would work”

“Common, everyone knows that you both like each other” You collapse into bed, next to him.

“You don’t know that, and I get all frustrated and embarrassed and I hate it”

“Well, Y/n, that’s the thing about love, it makes you do weird things”

“Can you shut up”

"No no, let me talk, I've had this speech about love for a while now so-"

"Are you still high?" You say, while contemplating the choices you have. Dying sounded like the best one. 

"Maybe" He says with a lazy smile on his face.

“Well, Padfoot, I need to get out of here, so bye, don’t eat my chocolate” You tell him and grab a book that you had somewhere. But then you open the door to a very smiling Remus, next to a usually smiling James and a sleepy Peter.

“Hi love-” Remus says, but you are already regretting all the decisions you’ve made in your life.

“Bye guys” You pass through them and decide to go to the library. You knew that he’ll find you anytime soon but you wanted to not think about it for a while.

You calmly go through your book until it’s time to eat, you were really hungry, and it’s not like he would talk about it in the Great Hall, would he? You’ll have to tell him soon anyway You tell yourself as you walk to the Gryffindor table. You sit between Mary and Marlene, in front of Lily.

“So, I heard that Remus took care of you last night…” Mary says, the three of them knew about your crush on him, and they’ve been ages trying to get you to confess to him. Because, honestly, you knew that he didn’t call everyone “love” like he calls you. But what if something goes wrong and you ruin the friendship?

“I told him that I want to go on a date with him” You say, casually drinking water just like nothing happened.

“What!” Marlene shoots, making everyone at the table look at you, including Remus, who’s looking at you with a stupid smile on his face, you simply ignore him, looking at Marlene. “That’s good right? What did he say?”

“Marlene, I was high, now we’re gonna have to talk and I’m gonna be so embarrassed and what if he says no, or what if he says yes, god I hate him” You blurt.

“Y/n, you’ve been avoiding him, haven’t you?” Lily asks you.

“Yes…”

“Just tell him, be brave”

“No”

“Are you just gonna ignore him forever?” Mary asks you.

“I can try” You say, knowing that you'll probably talk to him today.

“You’re a lost cause” Lily sighs.

“I know” You finish your food and get up. “I’ll see you later, love you”

“Love you too” Marlene replies as you walk to the door. You’ve decided that you’ll explain your long-time crush to him, but first you need time to know how you’re going to tell him, so you go to the astronomy tower, knowing that he’ll come there anytime.

ᰔᩚෆ❧ღდლ❦ও❥ଓ 

Half an hour later, he appears and sits next to you.

“Hi”

“Hi”

“You’ve been really avoiding me, love”

“Did you think I was lying?”

“I hope not” You look at him “You said you wanted to go on a date with me”

“Technically, I said I wanted to go on a date with a person who asks me weird things while I’m high, could be anyone” You say, smiling.

“Oh, so you let other people take care of you, that’s basically cheating on me you know”

“No way, could you ever forgive me?”

“Only if you go on a date with me” Then you feel your face heating up. “Last night you weren’t this shy” He adds.

“Last night I wasn’t thinking about how this could ruin our friendship”

“Why would it ruin our friendship?”

“You know why”

“No I don’t”

“Are you really doing this to me?” He doesn’t answer, just looks at you with a smirk. “Okay, fuck it I guess, I like you Rem, you know that, and I know that you don’t act like this with everyone but what if it was all a mistake, I mean, I just shouldn’t have said anything, I’m so sorry I-”

Then you feel his lips on yours, and god, you’ve been waiting your whole life for this moment. He puts his hands on your checks and you put yours on his neck. At first it’s a sweet kiss, and then, well. He puts one one on the back of your neck and the other one on your waist. You play with his hair while he makes you get closer to him, like the fact that you’re making out right now it’s not enough. And honestly, it’s not. You feel his lips leaving your mouth to go to your neck, and you can’t do anything but thank yourself for every decision you’ve ever made in your life.

But then you hear something fall inside the tower, you separate, but your hands don’t leave the back of his neck, and his don’t leave your waist. You just look at him, at his stupid eyes and at his stupid smile.

“You still owe me a date” You roll your eyes.

“You haven’t forgiven me yet?” You ask him.

“No, but I might have to”

“Why?”

“I made you a hickey” And he has that stupid smile again.

“What?!” You put one of your hands on your neck. “Rem!”

“Sorry love, couldn’t help it”

“I hate you” You try to get up but his grip on your waist grows stronger.

“You weren’t saying that a minute ago when we were snogging”

“Shut up”

“Okay” He lazily grins and kisses you again, this time slower, softer, with his hands on your cheeks, like he doesn’t want this moment to end. 

“I really like you Rem”

“I really like you too, Y/n” He smiles. “And I don’t want this friendship to end”

“Me neither”

“But I would really like to be your boyfriend” He has this cocky smile on his face, knowing that you’re dying on the inside right now.

“That would be nice…”

“Is that a yes?”

“Yes Remus, it’s a yes” And you kiss him again, but before it goes any further you pull apart. “I’m still waiting for that date with someone who asks me weird things while I’m high though”

“I thought the weekends where we ended up alone in Hogsmeade were dates?” He asks you, playing with one of your hands.

“Maybe, did you want them to be?” You ask him, because you know that you, in fact, did.

“Of course I did, but there’s a trip to Hogsmeade next week, so…”

“So?” You smile.

“If you don’t ask I won’t”

“I was the one who confessed!” You protest.

“But we are dating because of me”

“Yes but-” Then you pause. “We are dating” You smile.

“Did you forget?” He laughs.

“You might have to remind me…” You look at his lips.

“I would love to” Then he gets close to you and kisses you again.

ᰔᩚෆ❧ღდლ❦ও❥ଓ 

You end up in the Gryffindor common room, Remus playing with one of your rings while you finish your homework, eventually, all your friends are there, some of then doing homework(Peter), other reading(Lily), other talking about some party(James and Sirius) and others looking at you(Remus).

Then Marlene walks in and sits next to you.

“Is that a hickey?” She says, looking at you. You put a hand over your neck.

“Oh, I forgot about it” And then everyone is looking at you.

“What do you mean you forgot about it? Who did it to you?” Sirius asks, smiling.

“Oh yeah, I also forgot to tell you something” You tell them, looking at Remus, who’s now smiling while looking at you.

“What?” Lily asks, her book already closed.

“Remus and I are dating” You casually say, still focused on your homework. You two decided to tell them like this because it would be fun.

“What!?” James and Sirius exclaim, making almost everyone in the room look at you.

“Finally!” Lily says high fiving Mary, who’s now giving Marlene some coins.

“You made a bet?!” You ask them,

“Of course we did, it took some time but you’re finally dating him”

“So, some time, how long are we talking about?” Remus asks them.

“Don’t” You point at them, who just laugh at you.

“You made the hickey?!” James asks while Sirius just laughs.

“I keep forgetting about it…” You sight, covering it with your hand and closing all your books.

“I think so” Remus answers, laughing when you give him a bad look. But then he gets up and leads you to the door by your wrist.

“What was that?” You ask him, who’s now holding your hand while you walk through the empty halls.

“I don’t know” He smiles and you roll your eyes. “You know that I like you right?” He asks and stands in front of you, now holding both of your hands.

“Well, you’re my boyfriend, I would be worried if you didn’t” He laughs.

“Sure, but I think I’ve always liked you, but I didn’t know it. And then you start going to dates with people you always say are hot, and disappear at parties to then come back with messy hair, and I couldn’t help but become more flirty with you and call you love, so maybe you would do those things with me”

“Rem honey, I’ve always liked you too, but I saw everyone trying to flirt with you at parties and I knew that I could never, so I tried to move on. I obviously couldn't, but you get my point, don’t you?”

“Yes I do, I get your point” He smiles and kisses you again, it’s a short kiss, but he keeps his hands on your waist once you pull apart. “I’m so glad you got high last night” You laugh.

“Actually, I wanted to forget how boring that date was” 

“And then you have a boyfriend, isn't that amazing?” He smiles and kisses you again.

#remus lupin #remus lupin x reader #marauders era #sirius black #fluff fluff fluff #kissing #remus x y/n #remus being remus #the marauders #young remus x y/n #young remus lupin

[ratslovetrainstoo]

My Thomas AU I suppose? (Headcannons and what not)

Age

In this AU, everyone has the ability to become a human. Engines live for a significantly longer amount of time than an average human being does. Despite the fact that they can get older, their physical appearance doesn’t change. They’re kinda just eternally young. Engine years are much different from human years. An example being that my oc Pamelle is only around 30 in engine years even though she was built in 1920.

Speed + Strength

The engines (when in human form) are significantly faster and stronger. Their speed and strength in human form depends on the speed and strength of themselves in engine form (E.g. Percy can move at a speed of about 35 mph, meaning that he can go this fast in his human form)

Gender(s)

The engines can really be any gender they want, if they use enough energy then they can possibly make their human for the desired gender. Or they can just use an identity. Whatever floats their boat.

Shifting Form

It can feel uncomfortable at first, as their bodies are quite literally reforming into something they generally aren’t used to. It can be awkward to walk at first, but after some time it does eventually become easier.

(In case you, or anyone else is asking, no. They can not reproduce)

The main 6 in my au

(Please be respectful about what headcannons I might have)

Thomas

💙 Adopted by Edward 💙

💙 Can go at a speed of about 30 - 70 mph 💙

💙 All of his siblings were scrapped, causing him to have depression for quite a long time 💙

💙 He’s #1 because he was actually the first to be officially purchased to work on the NWR 💙

💙 He stayed at Edward’s home until he was confident enough that he knew just enough to start working on the lines 💙

💙 Based off an LBS&CR E2 class tank engine 💙

💙 Very cheeky and loves playing jokes on others (especially the big engines) but knows when to act mature and serious 💙

💙 Can get very salty if he feels like he’s going to be replaced 💙

Edward

🩵 Adopted Thomas and kept him at home until he felt ready to let him work on the mainline 🩵

🩵 He’s #2 on the NWR because he was the 2nd to be bought 🩵

🩵 Has a speed of about 70 - 80 mph 🩵

🩵 Very wise and kind 🩵

🩵 He currently has feelings for James, but is very subtle about it 🩵

🩵 Overall just very relaxed 🩵

🩵 Eldest of the main 6 🩵

🩵 Based on a Stewart and co “Larger Seagull" K2 Class 🩵

Henry

💚 He had helped Edward take care of Thomas if he ever had to leave for work 💚

💚 #3 on the railway because (you guessed it) he was the 3rd to be bought 💚

💚 The plans for his construction were failed plans and were accidentally stolen, therefore causing him to be a failed prototype and thus leading to his extensive rebuild 💚

💚 He’s probably a tree hugger 💚

💚 Has a huge garden 💚

💚 He also probably names his plants too 💚

💚 He’s kind of like a father or big brother to Percy 💚

💚 Has Ombrophobia 💚

💚 Can go at a speed of about 96 mph 💚

Gordon

💙 Obviously very moody and grumpy 💙

💙 LOVES COFEE 💙

💙 Doesn’t like most animals but will tolerate cats 💙

💙 He loves all his friends. He just doesn’t show it 💙

💙 THRIVES when it come to certain interests 💙

💙 4th to be bought 💙

💙 Can go at a speed of about 100 - 105 mph 💙

💙 Likes reading the Sodor newsletter 💙

💙 Fiercely loyal to his controller, friends, and railway 💙

💙 HAS TOO MANY SIBLINGS AND COUSINS (lots of which sadly were scrapped) 💙

💙 Based of an LNER A1 Pacific Express Engine 💙

James

❤️ HE THE LIVING DEFINITION OF PRIDE (Both the self-conscious emotion and the 🏳️‍🌈 kind) ❤️

❤️ He most likely tries to kiss himself when looking in a mirror ❤️

❤️ He prefers to take passengers coaches rather than cars ❤️

❤️ HATES dirty stuff ❤️

❤️ Short tempered ❤️

❤️ Seems like the guy who only cares about himself. Most of his room actually has pictures of everyone he cares about ❤️

❤️ Can go at a speed of about 70-80 mph ❤️

❤️ He’s easy to humble, most people don’t try though. They think he’s too selfish to even try to humble ❤️

❤️ Based off a LYR class 28 engine ❤️

Percy

💚 He’s just as cheeky as Thomas. That’s why they’re so close 💚

💚 Very selfless 💚

💚 Often seen as a not-so-bright person, but this is only because he’s easy to put upon 💚

💚 He’s a baby. Protect him at all costs. 💚

💚 He’s a child at heart 💚

💚 He still treats his plushies like real people 💚

💚 Has trouble paying attention 💚

💚 Smallest and youngest of the main 6 💚

💚 Based off an Avonside 0-4-0ST and can go up to speeds of about 35-45 mph 💚

💚 LOVES mail runs 💚

#ttte #ttte thomas #ttte percy #ttte james #ttte gordon #ttte edward #ttte henry #ttte human au #ttte my au #thomas and friends #thomas the tank engine #percy the small engine #james the splendid engine #gordon the big engine #henry the green engine #edward the blue engine #my au

[kiatheinsomniac]

Heyo just wondering if you felt like writing for James Kidd/Mary Read with the prompts (1. "Just go back to sleep, I promise to be here when you wake up.") where it like fixes the ending so that she doesn’t die and the reader is like friends with James/Mary but there’s always been something romantic leaning with the relationship. Maybe a reader who was also just dressing as a man and going under the radar as well? You can do whatever you want with it lol. You don’t have to write this if you don’t vibe with it lol!

notes: you know I never really had much of a crush on James/Mary before but writing for them has definitely changed my mind lol. I wasn't too sure how to work the reader going under the radar into this too so I just left that one part out, hope that's ok! <3

pairing: James Kidd | Mary Read x Reader

word count: 1.8k

☾ ⋆ﾟ  MASTERLIST / RULES / TAGLIST FORM

Just go back to sleep, I promise to be here when you wake up

Mary had always teased you about how you would fuss over her health after any sort of sight or long journey but now the two of you were beyond thankful for this tendency of yours. Edward was rowing the little boat towards the ship while Mary’s head lolled in your lap. She was finding it near impossible to keep her eyes open, her strength utterly depleted with the illness coursing through her body. You had brought a stash of medical supplies with you in preparation for any complications involving the aftermath of pregnancy, knowing enough of the poor conditions of prisons. 

You were trying to get her to drink something but she would only wince and groan about her nausea after each little sip. You were itching to get back to the ship so that you could better treat her there. The Jackdaw’s crew helped you to get her aboard and into Edward’s cabin where he insisted that you treat her. He helped you to get her onto the bed while you went to throw the windows open, knowing that airing out the place would be good for her. 

Typically, you were the quiet sort when a guest upon Edward’s ship but now you were ferociously barking orders as though you were Captain. You demanded for a broth to be made by the cook, for a pail to be brought in case she needed to be sick, for plenty of fresh water to be brought. You set a cool, damp cloth upon her head to try and cool her down and only noticed the shaking of your hands when you got to brewing a peppermint and ginger tea for her. You were terrified. 

It had been weeks since you’d seen Mary, hell, you hadn’t even known she was Mary the last you saw her. You had fallen head-over-heels for the charms of James Kidd, a fellow pirate but had yet to work up the nerve to say anything to him. Now that her true identity was metres away from you, dying in a bed, you were petrified that you would never get the chance to tell her how you felt, to see the way her eyes would scrunch a little when she smiled in a way that made your heart soar. 

Learning that James was a false identity had come as a shock, as had finding out that he had been arrested, as had finding out that she had been pregnant. A selfish part of you hoped that the father wouldn’t stand in your way of being with Mary romantically. Another part of you wondered if it was only James who liked women and not Mary. You had been a little surprised in yourself when you realised that finding out that James was a woman did nothing to deter your attraction to her – you hadn’t put too much through to your romantic or sexual life when evading authorities was always your number one priority. However, from time to time, someone like James would catch your eye and perhaps it just so happened that Mary was the first of these few people to be a woman. You found yourself unbothered, caring only that you loved the woman who you were gently propping up to sip on the tea, regardless of her gender. 

You worked all through the night tending to her, perched on the edge of the bed feeding her broth, checking her temperature, doing your best to cool her to try and break the fever, assuring she was hydrated, holding back her hair when she was sick. 

“They took her.” She sobbed as she finished heaving her guts out into the pail, clutching her stomach in pain, “They took my daughter. I would have been so alone without Anne.” As much as you knew she was upset, feeling such terrible things so intensely would only put her body under stress and make it harder to recover. 

“You’re not alone now.” You spoke as you helped to clean up around her chin and you tossed the contents of the pail out of the window, dipping a cloth into the nearby basin to wipe across her skin in an attempt to cool her down one more as you eased her to lay down. "Just go back to sleep, I promise to be here when you wake up." She did just that, occasionally waking up to be sick again and you would keep her up for a little bit to get some more fluids in her and then coax her back to rest. 

Eventually, Edward came into the cabin to coax you to rest in a hammock while he took over for a while. You were reluctant to take your attention off Mary for even a moment but exhaustion was making you weary and you knew you would be a better nurse when well-rested. You found yourself falling asleep almost instantly. 

The following days were spent more or less like this. Mary’s fever slowly waned and you continued to feed her and keep her hydrated while she was sick, the swaying of the boat doing very little to help her recover from such. You would help her walk to the ship’s privy, as she was too weak to make it there herself, and you even washed her hair for her in a basin that was set upon your lap, slowly combing out the tangled brown tresses. 

“Thank you for everything, lass, truly.” She spoke one afternoon, one of many thank yous, as the sun poured in from the open windows of the cabin while she drank some ginger tea and honey that you had made for her, an empty bowl of soup on the nightstand. 

“It’s the least I can do.” You replied, “Edward’s a good friend to give me all I need to treat you.” 

“Aren’t you upset?” She asked. 

“You almost died, of course I was upset, I’m just happy to see that you’re recovering.” 

“I meant about finding out that I lied to you.” Oh, she was talking about the false identity. 

“I… No, I don’t think so.” You spoke as you tidied up a bit around the cabin, hoping it would express your gratitude to the Captain who it belonged to. “I was very shocked at first but… It matters little to me. James, Mary, either way you are so very dear to me and I would hate to see anything terrible happen to you…” Your voice became quieter towards the end of your sentence. Something terrible had happened. You sat down on the edge of the bed, taking one of her hands in both of yours. “Mary, I swear to you that as soon as I know you’ve recovered, I’m going to do everything in my power to help you find your daughter.” She set the tea down on the nightstand and bit down on her lower lip, “That little girl deserves to know what an amazing mother she has.” 

“I couldn’t do anything to stop them. I have no idea where to start looking.” She sniffled and you saw the tears in her eyes that she was willing to hold back. 

“And that’s not your fault.” You told her with conviction, “I promise you that whatever has happened to her, we’ll find her and you’ll be with her again.” 

“This is no life for a child…” She looked around the ship, listened to the singing of the crew. They were merry now, yes, but the life of a pirate was not a stable one, nor was it ever free of violence. 

“Then I will help you set up one that is fit for a child.” You squeezed her hand, “I’ll do whatever it takes to see you and your little girl happy. I’ll even go with you if you’ll allow me. We can travel north, find a place in the colonies and live there.” You assured her. 

“You have your own life to lead, lass.” She shook her head gently at you, feeling as though accepting would be abusing your caring and generous nature that you had shown her. 

“I don’t want a life without you. I don’t care if you’re James or Mary, if you’re a parent or not, I want you in my life. I’ll go around this damned world to find your daughter if that’s what it takes and hell, I’d raise her as my own with you should you allow it.” Your entire body quivered in fear, unsure how she would react. 

“Is that how you feel?” She asked, her hand clasping yours a little tighter. 

“I wanted to tell you, I was going to tell you when you came back but the arrest happened and when I heard from Edward that you were in prison, a woman and pregnant.” You let out a little laugh of disbelief, “I was terrified for you and I realised that I didn’t care less that you’re a woman, I’m as in love with Mary as I am with James and if you don’t want that then I’m sorry but I can’t control my heart.” She shook her head gently and laughed a little, reaching up with her freehand to cup your face. 

“How could I ever not want someone like you?” Her thumb caressed your cheek and you felt a tear fall from your eye as you leaned into her touch in relief, “I like your plan a lot. I have some gold at the hideout. We can take that with us up north if we find my daughter.” 

“When.” You corrected her, “Not if. We’re going to find out where she is, I just know it.” You paused, “Did you give her a name?” 

“Officially, no, they wouldn’t allow me to. But I wanted to name her after Anne, I think I would have gone mad in there without her.” 

“Anne would make one hell of a godmother.” You spoke with a little smile and Mary laughed a little, nodding her head. You were glad to see that she was doing so much better. 

“Aye, you’re right.” She smiled up at you, thumb caressing your cheek again, “You’d make a fine parent yourself, Y/n. I wouldn’t want anyone else for my girl.” 

“Then I promise you this, when we find her, we’re getting your gold, getting out of here and giving her the best childhood that we can.” You leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead and she wrapped her arms around you, holding you close and running her hand through your hair. “You could have told me sooner that you felt the same way.” 

“I thought you’d only like James and hate Mary for making you fall for someone who doesn’t exist.” You buried your face in her neck, feeling her arms tighten around you. 

“I could never hate you, Mary, and I think you’re still James in a way but I’m glad that you trust me enough to be open about this, even if it came about in the worst of situations.” 

“I can’t wait to get out of here with you…” She sighed and pulled you to lay beside her, the two of you falling asleep together there. 

☾ ⋆ﾟ Buy me a coffee?

🏷️ @writing-noah 

#ac4 mary read #mary read #mary read x reader #james kidd #james kidd x reader #assassins creed #assassins creed x reader #assassins creed fanfiction #assassins creed black flag

[gorogues]

ohhicas replied to your ask post: James had to ask Hartley directly in the comics why the hell he gave a shit what happened to the others after how they treated him so like 💀 Remake killed a lot of the nuances of "oh they absolutely cared he was gay. Very specific ones did not care, and removing that difference killed a lot of the uniqueness of the group's relationships with each other"

This I agree with, though in the modern era I still think the guys may be due for an overhaul. They can have differing opinions on Hartley's reform and political views, and some might not care but others might have big problems with it. Another source of potential conflict is Hartley dating a cop, which the Rogues undoubtedly have feelings about. I think there's room for real tension between him and them that doesn't involve them being hateful.

belphegor1982 replied to your ask post: And that's why my relationship to DC comics canon (whatever the hell that may be) is basically the kind you have to a somewhat distant relative you used to see fairly regularly once upon a time but now you just kinda check in on sometimes in a "so what are they up to these days" way. The version of the Rogues that lives in my head is both very specific and incredibly vague for that very purpose.

That's fair. For me, the good thing about fiction is that nobody actually got hurt and so it isn't a huge deal when a fictional character does something terrible (I don't necessarily like it and it might make me uncomfortable, but a real person/animal wasn't hurt). But not everyone sees things that way, and that's understandable. Plus, everyone draws the line somewhere at the types of media they immerse themselves into, so for example I generally avoid gore and horror. Comic book supervillains doing their thing might be too much for others.

belphegor1982 replied to your ask post: One “the Rogues are all straight except for Piper” headcanon I do have though is that any and all of them could have fallen under the queer umbrella if 1) they’d grown up/lived in different circumstances and 2) if they’d let themselves be queer. The hyper masculinity they show could be interpreted as performative for fear of being perceived as even more Other than they already were. belphegor1982 replied to your ask post: That doesn’t stop me as seeing James as pan, Mick as ace (or somewhere on the ace spectrum anyway), Len also possibly grey ace and maybe bi (again, if he’d give himself permission), Mark as gender fluid, etc. That’s the beauty of headcanons - it’s all a big sandbox and open to interpretation!

Indeed, well said :)

demonbirdsforever replied to your ask post: I didn’t realize that stuff had happened. I understand you have your view now. We all just have to remember that comic characters change by whose hands they end up in. So I think the homophobia you mentioned is more a writer problem than a character problem. It’s like Trigon, everyone says he’s a demon but he’s not really. He’s is EVIL or as he put it, Celestial Blasphemy. That’s why I’m okay with other opinions on characters, to degree…

Oh for sure, there's no reason any given continuity will stick around forever -- which is both the beauty and the bane of comics. That's why I'm hopeful that DC will update them at some point, but hopefully it won't take ages to happen.

I will say though that this might be a hazard of being a fan of villains: it's pretty unlikely that they'll be unproblematic like, say, Superman might be. That doesn't mean they're all going to be hateful bigots or that we should like it if they are, but a lot of them might do or say things at times that the audience doesn't like. That's something we have to come to terms with, because even the nicest Rogues have done horrible things at some point…you have to take the bad with the good.

it-is-i-zim replied to your text post: Confession: I didn't really read most of Identity Crisis. Most of what I read was issue 5 out of context. And now I feel kinda stupid but in my heart I know him randomly murdering some guy is out of character. And that's what counts it-is-i-zim replied to your text post: Out of context it just looked like he was breaking and entering. And then got shot for breaking and entering.

No, he was hired to kill Jack Drake…it was a whole thing, the story just gets worse the more you hear about it. You're better off not reading it.

#ohhicas #belphegor1982 #demonbirdsforever #it is i zim #words #it-is-i-zim

[themculibrary]

Shy/Insecure/Awkward! Tony Masterlist

all dressed down (ao3) - halfwheeze bucky/tony G, 2k

Summary: Tony’s chest is a mess of scar tissue, and that’s what he has to live with.

All the Best Things Come in Threes (ao3) - Potrix bucky/tony, steve/sam M, 3k

Summary: “I can’t be pregnant. I’m 47 years old, it’s not possible. I haven’t had a heat in over eight months, I’m menopausal, I can’t be pregnant.”

Handle With Care (ao3) - Reioka G, 2k

Summary: The team discovers, one by one, that Tony is more sensitive and shy than he had originally let on. (They love him for it, though.)

Hide A Heart Of War (ao3) - RayShippouUchiha bucky/steve/tony T, 13k

Summary: “You’ve got war in your heart boy,” Howard sneers, “don’t ever try and pretend to be anything but what you are.”

Tony feels the familiar burn of a flower mark being etched into his skin but he doesn’t look, doesn’t try and check to see what it is. Instead he keeps his eyes on Howard and his hands cupped around his bleeding mouth and nose.

Honeybear (ao3) - SpaceBearWolf N/R, 811

Summary: When Rhodey starts spending more and more time with Carol, Tony gets jealous.

I like apples, but I like you more (ao3) - S_Horne steve/tony G, 3k

Summary: “Hi, James,” Steve called as he pulled off his gloves and shoved them in his pocket. “Got any of your muffins left this morning?”

“Hi, Steve,” Rhodey said as he flicked the button on the espresso machine. “There’s a whole tray just about to come out of the oven.”

“All for me?”

“Aren’t they always?”

Steve laughed as he reached the counter and fished out his wallet. “Your baking keeps me alive, James, I swear it does. I couldn’t get through the day without something from your kitchen.”

Because there was that. Steve didn’t know that Tony existed.

Steve thought that Rhodey was the one who did all of the baking of the goods – which was quite frankly laughable – whilst Tony hid in the back every time that the man walked through the door.

He also stared wistfully through the small window to the kitchen, but Tony definitely never went outside to talk to any of his customers. No way.

next to you (ao3) - ArabellaAM steve/tony G, 805

Summary: If anyone had asked him who was the insecure one in their relationship, Tony would have said it was him without a doubt.

Nightmares are Hard (ao3) - BWolf_20 pepper/tony T, 4k

Summary: Tony catches Steve having a nightmare and isn’t sure how to approach it. The first time he lets Pepper handle it. The second time, he tries her approach but it’s still awkward. Tony doesn’t really do feelings, and just because Steve is currently crashing on their couch it doesn’t mean they’re close buds. So, he doesn’t really know how to…well, drop his mask long enough to provide some comfort. But he tries.

Shut Up, Tony (ao3) - FestiveFerret steve/tony E, 5k

Summary: Tony's sure the attractive, kind, smart, amazing alpha he's been dating is going to dump him tonight. There's no way Steve actually likes him, is there?

Strange Prosthetics (ao3) - GoringWriting tony/stephen N/R, 1k

Summary: Tony is your typical college student, except he's not really and how come he gets really happy when he sees the barista in the campus coffee spot and oh man Tony asked him on a date!

Tony's Secret (ao3) - transtonystark steve/tony G, 1k

Summary: Tony hasn't told very many people about being gender fluid and with the Avengers living in the tower, Tony doesn't have the freedom to dress how he wants. His birthday may lead him to come clean about a couple of things including his totally non-existant feelings for Steve Rogers.

Tony's Surprise (ao3) - DarkKitty1208 tony/stephen G, 2k

Summary: After he mustered up the courage to ask the man out, he and Stephen had been in a wonderful relationship for a few months. Well, Tony wouldn't really call it a 'relationship', since the sorcerer barely had the time to meet up with him between dimension-hopping, learning incantations, meditating, training, or whatever it is he did with the other wizards. Often, Tony would wonder if Stephen was doing it on purpose; avoiding him, rejecting his offers for dates in excuse of other urgent matters, but it didn't stop the engineer's efforts to be as close as possible to him.

That last statement was proven tonight, where he stood in front of the Sanctum with flowers in hand. He meant it to be a surprise date, hoping Stephen would agree without objections.

Treasure (ao3) - SailorChibi tony/t’challa E, 3k

Summary: "You're not funny," Tony huffed, finally breaking the kiss. "I might be a virgin, but you don't have to treat me like I'm going to break."

"I'm not. I know exactly how strong you are. I also know that you are my greatest treasure,"T'Challa murmured. "You are the most valuable thing in the world to me. So yes, I will be treating you with delicate hands, because that is what you deserve."

Will My Angel Come Back to Me? (ao3) - holistic_alcoholic bucky/tony T, 2k

Summary: Bucky, a grumpy unsocial vampire who has no friends but recently turned Steve — and a memory of a beautiful angel turning him during World War II — comes to a vampire party after Steve's goading.

He's in for a surprise.

#themculibrary #mcu #marvel #tony stark #shy!tony #insecure!tony #awkward!tony #shy!tony masterlist #insecure!tony masterlist #awkward!tony masterlist #masterlists

[jhayess]

[SYDNEY PARK, CISFEMALE, SHE/HER/HERS] who’s that? oh it’s [JENNIFER “JENNY” HAYES]. i hear they’re [EIGHTEEN] and are known as [THE DADDY’S GIRL] around [THE COUNTRY CLUB]. they’re also a [FRESHMAN] at [PURDUE HCC]. they’re known to be [CHARMING & OUTSPOKEN] and [MEAN & STUBBORN]. some people say they remind them of [FOOTBALL GAMES UNDER THE LIGHTS, SUMMERS BY THE POOL, GOSSIPING IN THE GIRLS’ BATHROOM, GETTING MANI/PEDIS, & PARTIES AT THE LAKE HOUSE]. 

basics.

full name: jennifer anne hayes. nicknames: jenny, mostly. sometimes jen (though the people who call her that? generally not friends. she doesn’t go by jen as a rule.) gender/pronouns: cisfemale/she/her/hers. sexual orientation: she’s, like, super gay, dude. she’s also so deep in the closet that she’s found narnia. birthday: august 22nd. star sign: leo. charismatic, confident, determined...and a bit vain, pretentious, and arrogant. occupation: incoming freshman at purdue, on a cheer scholarship and studying hospitality or something equally boring that she doesn’t really care about. she doesn’t have to work because her dad’s a doctor. lucky her.

personality.

positive traits: outgoing, clever, charming, confident, ambitious. negative traits: confrontational, self-absorbed, vain, mean, cocky. hogwarts house: i know jkr sucks and also this isn’ a thing in the 80s but she’s a really MEAN gryffindor. the asshole kind. think james potter at his absolute WORST. that’s jenny. alignment: chaotic evil. ennegram: 3w2. personality type: esfp.

backstory.

born to the hayes family on a rainy august night, jenny arrived on the scene just like she did everything in life: early and on her terms. she was breech, supposed to be a scheduled c-section, and born in the month of september but...some things don’t go as planned. (after an emergency c-section with her youngest, mrs. hayes vowed that she was done having kids).

her father is a surgeon at hawkins general hospital, which means he’s a busy guy and not around much. her mother took care of raising her and her three older siblings. and for the most part, it was fine. her parents aren’t in love at all and should probably be divorced by now, but dr. hayes’ income supports her mom -and jenny’s- lavish lifestyle, so they’re together “for the kids”...but mostly for the cash.

the hayes family lives in the rich part of hawkins, in a housing development full of snobby people with too many cars in the driveway and lots of kids. they have a lake house on lover’s lake, a vacation home in the carolinas, and their own pool in their hawkins home, which made jenny’s house a popular place to bring the kids when they were little...and a popular party spot when they got a bit older.

jenny’s is the youngest of four and she owns it. being the baby of the family, she got pretty much whatever she wanted growing up. her dad works long hours as the hospital and her mom just didn’t seem to care outside of making sure her daughter looked good, so she was able to buy friends and popularity fairly easily throughout middle and high school.

growing up with a mostly absentee father and a mom who was exhausted and relied a little too heavily on her wine meant that jenny was free to do pretty much whatever she wanted. as a kid, she played almost every sport imaginable, but ultimately settled on a love of cheerleading because her siblings played sports and she liked cheering for them and tumbling...and, as she got older, because it opened the door to popularity. because jenny doesn’t get a ton of validation at home, she seeks it out elsewhere: from teachers, friends, and boys, mostly even though she doesn’t even like them very much.

she’s known she likes girls since she was ten. when her friends were losing their minds over tom cruise, she was obsessing over the likes of molly ringwald. when her friends were drooling over han solo, she was falling for princess leia. it’s not something she’s exactly dealt with. she’s hooked up with a few of her friends, teammates, and high school classmates since then. it’s not because she’s worried about what her parents think. they probably wouldn’t care either way...but it would  probably fuck up her reputation. it’s hawkins, indiana in the 1980s. freaks are ostracized. she knows because she was doing the ostracizing. and popularity is important to her so...she figures she’ll just wait until she leaves for college to figure that shit out. it’s not important anyway.

the first girl jenny ever kissed was taken by the mindflayer in 1985. when she started acting weird and standoffish, jenny took it as a...sign. that maybe she shouldn’t be doing that. (and that maybe she was worse at reading people than she thought.)

this still weighs on jenny a bit. the girl wasn’t just a random classmate. it was one of jenny’s best friends, cheer teammates, somebody who jenny trusted until she didn’t. it was puppy love, they were just kids but...you never forget your first, you know? and that girl’s just...gone. she’s kind of paranoid of getting too close to anybody ever again.

since she was a little girl, she’s always dreamed of the white picket fence, 2.5 kids, and a doting husband so she can keep doing the stuff she likes to do. the only problem is...she’s not sure she wants a husband if they’re not just like her dad: never present and leaving her alone. but it’s still a dream -one her mother is obsessed with- so...that’s the plan, after college.

but while she’s in college? she’s ready to mess around and figure some stuff out. marriages were never supposed to be about love anyway, right?

unbeknownst to jenny, her dad’s about to lose his license for giving out pain pill prescriptions without cause. he’s going to lose his job, probably flee town, and leave her mom to pick up the pieces...and with no access to the bank account dr. hayes is the sole proprietor of.

because of this, her partial cheer scholarship? not going to cut it. she’s gonna be stuck at HCC for the foreseeable future, much to her chagrin.

Plots n stuff

bring me ALLL the flings. i want guys she’s hooked up with to try and convince herself she’s not gay. i want all the girls she hooked up with while drunk at parties or just because she wanted to. bring me a girl she’s actually very much in love with but has convinced herself she can’t be. i want it all.

her friends are probably mostly the popular crew of the party’s time at hawkins high. she’s a cheerleader. she runs with the jocks. she probably knows some of the kids who’d have been juniors or seniors when they were freshman, too. (but she also really, really respects erica sinclair’s bite, so they’re fairly close, too.)

a beard would be fun. maybe a mutual beard, depending on the guy? idk. talk to me!

she and the party, uh, aren’t really on the same page. she was probably outright rude to most of them in middle school and pretended they didn’t exist during high school (except for you, max mayfield. you, she remembers.)

she also had a feeling about will byers. gaydar is a thing! i think part of her reaction to his death was because...she could see herself in his place if she let herself exist like she wants to once she leaves hawkins. oops. 

she does have older siblings! i’m not sure if she’s particularly close to them or if they’re relevant in her life but if you wanted to pick one up we can chat and flesh it out for sureee.

she’s completely oblivious to any and all supernatural happenings in hawkins and will probably remain that way. like you could tell her her not-girlfriend was taken by the mindflayer and she’d roll her eyes at you and ask if you were high. she simply does not really care about All of That stuff. (here for a good time, not a long time.)

#bio. #bth:intro

[ramonadecember]

For the bestest cowbaby ever; Theo:

Eros 1, 5

Philia 5

Storge 2, 3, 4

Agape 3

Ludus 4, 5

Pragma 2

Philautia 1, 4

oc love asks.

your favoritism is showing. most answers under the cut because there are… so many xD

—

Eros/1: you wouldn’t think it, but Theo is a romantic when it comes down to it. in fact, Theo didn’t even think he was into that stuff, be it on the giving or receiving end, but then he met the right man and it’s all he wants. the rough, gruff dude is a total softie. the top ~romantic~ trait of Theo’s is that he’s prone to bringing Jed flowers he’s picked himself while off doing whatever. and it’s why he also is going to give Jed a real proposal (that probably involved talking to his parents and everything), even though there like… can’t exactly be a real wedding. he just wants to do it right and give his man what he deserves. also, despite all the blushing and grumbling it induces, he wants all the romantic stuff in return too.

Eros/5: like so many things about Theo, his feelings regarding his looks are complicated, and he prefers them to just… not be acknowledged. Theo isn’t hard on the eyes, but that’s kind of the ‘problem.’ he was lead believe that the way he looks is a bad thing (attracting the wrong type of attention, and from the wrong type (or ya know, gender) of people), and so if his appearance is ‘bad,’ then he’s not gonna be able to see himself as any type of attractive.  it also doesn’t help that the guy he’s attached at the hip to is, in Theo’s eyes, the equivalent of a Greek god 😂 everyone looks ugly when standing next to Jed lmfao. but yeah, he doesn’t get how someone like that is interested in him, and he thinks Jed deserves better. 

Philia/5: considering that his best friend is his sister Tess (or you know, his best friend for longer. sorry Jed)… his wish for her would be that she finds a way to heal from all that their childhood put them through. Tess doesn’t like to talk about it any more than she does, and she puts on a good act that it doesn’t affect her anymore, but he knows her, and he knows how, as much as that’s said, it isn’t always the case. sure isn’t for him either. and he wants to do all that he can to help her with that. whatever she needs.

Storge/2: the answer to whether or not Theo has kids is ‘sometimes’  lmfao. despite not caring to write/read/rp children you somehow convinced me to give him a pair in our angsty au, which is how he came to have James and Grac(i)e. Theo has a complicated relationship with fatherhood due to his own father and his beliefs about his abilities to properly parent, and even more complicated feelings over having children born out of what what we’d call a comphet relationship, but he loves those two so fiercely and wants the world for them. Gracie is the sweetest thing on the planet, anyone would fall in love with her, but James… he is an exact clone of Theo in just about every way, and it makes the word complicated come up again. he sees so much of himself and his struggles in that boy… Theo constantly fears he’s going to screw this/them (maybe James in particular) up.

Storge/3: oooh boy. the parental approval—or disapproval as it is—has been clearly expressed, and it still has lasting effects on his self-worth. when he was young, Theo tried to lean into it, being the delinquent, the sinner, the good-for-noting son, because it was made ‘necessary’ by his circumstances (see the next question, I wrote that one first lol), but it… hurts, and Theo has really come to believe it about himself, and there’s a lot of unlearning to do there. even with his father now dead, he still has to contend with his mother’s opinion of him, and since he’s a bit of a momma’s boy, that has a different sort of sting to it. she’s turned a blind eye to a lot that he’s done and a lot about him, but when that becomes no longer an option, her struggle to accept him fully is also a struggle for Theo.

Storge/4: Theo has three siblings. his older sister Rose, his twin Tess, and his little sister Amelia. he doesn’t know if there was a favorite, but Theo knows for certain he was the least favorite. mostly that was of his own doing, purposely bringing his father’s ire on him so that it wouldn’t be directed at anyone else. they don’t talk about it, but his sisters know that was the case. luckily Rose got married and got out, and Amelia was young enough to not have always known what was going on. which only adds to why Tess and him are thick as thieves, and why she’s the one that Theo remains close with despite having grown apart from the other two now that he… isn’t around much. 

Agape/3: Theo definitely isn’t one of those ‘is it really altruistic if what you get out of it is feeling good’ type of thinkers because that’s just eyeroll-worthy lmao. he does however think it’s right to be wary of people who claim to be doing things out of the goodness of their heart alone, and he knows that when he does good, it’s frequently for a purpose (like money, or penance for all he sees himself as having done wrong) and not just because it’s the right thing to do. Theo has Jed as a shining example of like… all of this. the dude has a skepticism-inducing amount of kindness and helpfulness, Theo didn’t trust it a lick at first, but really that’s just… how Jed is, and unfortunately it makes him fall victim to the fact that everyone else is not the same. 

Ludus/4: his first crush was on a boy he was friends with as a kid. things got… weird between them, because Theo didn’t understand what he was feeling or that he could feel that way about about another boy. they fought, things never got repaired between them. Theo still sometimes wonders how things might have been different if he knew about himself what he knows now. not that he would have like… ended up with the guy or anything (don’t worry, he’s more than happy with your Jed and you know that lmao), but he might have at least been able to salvage a friendship. 

Ludus/5: Theo definitely likes to believe he’s immune to any ‘seduction techniques,’ and that he doesn’t have time for any of that, but this is coming from the man who short circuits when a hot man talks to him lmfao. but for real… seduction is kind of a new thing to Theo, because on the past he’s pretty much exclusively dealt in coded words and knowing glances to get the job done, so he’s still learning what works for him outside of that (Jed—Jed and whatever he does works for him. so maybe… annoying him til he falls in love being genuine and patient and kind is what passes for seduction in Theo’s book, ha).

Pragma/2: generally speaking, the biggest challenge Theo has to overcome in any relationship is himself, ha. he clearly comes with… a lot of baggage, and it make Theo prone to ruining relationships before they can ever really take off. but more specifically, and considering his only real longterm relationship has been with Jed, the biggest thing would be Theo learning to trust and feel safe with Jed again after the series of events and lies that led to Theo thinking he was dead for an extended amount of time, only to have Jed in fact not be dead, and come back like what he did was at all justified. what it takes is just… time. a lot of time.

Philautia/1: lmao, no. Theo does not have a healthy sense of his own worth/value, he doesn’t think very highly of himself what so ever. too many years of having it reinforced that everything he does is wrong, that he’s a bad person, that he’s good for nothing. it’s why he sticks to himself and goes out on his own, why he doesn’t feel like he deserves good things, including love, and it’s why he makes himself out to be such a hardass who doesn’t care about those types of things… his sense of self is changing, though… getting better. but it’s a real slow battle, and frustrating to both himself and the people that care about him.

Philautia/4: you just want to make Theo say nice things about himself 😂 which as we can guess, is a struggle. he’d probably say his resilience? he knows that yes, he shouldn’t have been kicked around so much in the first place (literally and figuratively), and yeah yeah, he doesn’t always have to be ~strong~. but Theo still thinks it’s pretty impressive that for how much he’s been beaten down over the course of his life, and with how much he’s gone through, that he still manages to get back up again, that he still manages to like… function, and in a fairly well adjusted way too, all things considered. 

#can you tell he’s obsessed with Jed #oc: theo hawkins #with honorable mention to #jed blackwood #oc tag #oc memes #ask memes #red dead redemption #red dead online

[black-mistress-of-evil]

Hey! Can I request a Bucky x Reader where Bucky gets hurt during a mission and the reader is there to take care of him? Maybe he’s caught of guard by this because he hasn’t had someone take care of him in a long time? Feel free to do whatever you want with this!! Thank you so much and I can’t wait to read it 💕

Bucky Barnes x Reader

A/N Thanks so much for the request @thighs-of-betrayal-blog this was so fun to write! Sorry it took so long! I swear every time I get the motivation to write my life gets crazy. But here it is, hopefully it’s a little bit what you hoped for and if it isn’t I hope you enjoy it anyways haha 💜

Warnings: FLUFFY FLUFF; angst if you squint; very very brief canon level violence; a minute of mutually pining idiots

Word count: approx 2.3k

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (he uses the endearment “doll” but other than that reader is gender neutral)

Why Do You Care?

“Bucky stop being so stubborn and let me see!”

You were standing in the living room of the safe house Bucky had dragged you into, hands on your hips glaring down at the super soldier on the couch. He was avoiding your gaze, staring a hole in the wall to your left, and had his arms folded across his chest. He looked to you more like a pouting child than a 100+ year old ex-assassin/current Avenger and if you weren’t so frustrated with him you’d probably giggle at the sight.

The mission had been a success. Sort of. You and Bucky had been sent in to steal sensitive files from an abandoned Hydra base. Which you managed to do. But it ended up being less than abandoned and without any backup the fight out was a rough one. Just as the two of you were finally getting out, covered in blood and bruises, Bucky had grabbed your arm and shoved you into a crouch, bending himself over you protectively as a shot rang out. He grunted out in pain and you leaned around his frame to send a bullet straight into the skull of the Hydra agent who’d been stupid enough not to stay down. You’d tried, then, to make sure Bucky was okay but he wasted no time in hauling you back up and out into the night. His hand slipped down your arm to clasp yours and he didn’t let go until you were safely within the walls of the safe house. The more the two of you had run the more obvious it became that he was hurt but he ignored you asking about it.

Now that he’d made sure the safe house was secure and reported back to Steve what had happened and where you were, he couldn’t avoid you anymore. But he could ignore you and he was trying his damnedest to do so.

“M’fine.” He grumbled at you for probably the third time in as many minutes, shifting to turn his injured side away from you as if that would make you go away.

“Bucky I know you’re not fine so why won’t you just let me see so I can help?” The cuteness of his pout was wearing off as your patience was wearing thin. “Do you not trust me or something??”

Bucky’s eyes snapped up to yours then, his heart rate rising as he saw the concern there. He did trust you. More than he trusted himself most days. Hell he was in love with you. But you were way too good for him, too full of light, and you’d never be interested in someone like him. He’d only ruin you anyways. But when he looked into your eyes he couldn’t stand the flash of hurt he saw when you asked that question.

“Course I do doll...I trust ya...” his voice was hoarse and he tried taking a deep breath to clear his throat but it sent pain shooting through him and he groaned, pressing his hand to the still bleeding wound in his side.

“Buck....” your tone was softer now as you took a step closer. You thought for a second that he was going to let you check on his injury but the moment your hands reached for him he shot up, ignoring the pain, and pushed past you into the bathroom while mumbling about not needing help.

You roll your eyes and sigh as the bathroom door slams shut behind him. Ever since you’d met the quiet soldier when he joined the Avengers he’d swung back and forth between pushing you away and pulling you in closer. He always volunteered to be partnered with you and you worked well together but he’d refuse to spar with you. He liked helping you cook for team dinners but always declined your invitations to go out for lunch. During movie nights he only ever sat beside you or, if someone beat him there, he’d sit on the floor and lean against your legs even if there was an empty seat by someone else, but he wouldn’t join you when you were binge watching your favourite show alone. You couldn’t figure him out but the more you tried to the more you fell for him. It had been agony for you to want him knowing he could never see you as more than a teammate and friend. Regardless of how many times his behaviour had made it clear he wasn’t interested in you that way, you couldn’t help it. You loved him. And if that remained unrequited the rest of your life then so be it, you were that gone for him.

And so, despite his insistence that he didn’t need your help, you found yourself trailing after him towards the bathroom. You pressed your ear to the door and could hear him shuffling around, pulling out a first aid kit, and then gasping in obvious pain.

“Bucky? Open the door and let me in? Please? I want to help...I want to take care of you, you just have to let me....” you pause, waiting for a response, and notice that all the sounds on the other side of the door have ceased.

“Buck? Please, I care about you...let me...” your voice is lower, almost a whisper now, and you wait another few painfully silent seconds before hearing a long sigh from the other side of the door. When it cracks open, your eyes meet his piercingly blue ones and you nearly crumble at the uncertainty you see there.

“Can I come in, Buck?” You ask gently and he hesitates for only a second before nodding and opening the door wider. You step inside and motion for him to sit on the edge of the counter for you and he quickly obeys.

“You’re gonna have to take your shirt off for me to see, Buck.” You say gently, not wanting to make him uncomfortable. He grunts in acknowledgement and begins pulling his black tee up, hissing as he raises his arms causing a tug to his injury. Without a second thought, you reach forward and help maneuver his shirt the rest of the way off, dropping it to the side as he brings his arms back down. As other times in the past when you’ve seen him shirtless, you can’t help but let your eyes travel across his firm chest and toned abdomen, drinking him in until you raise your eyes to his and realize he’s watching you. You quickly avert your gaze, your ears burning at having been caught ogling him, so you miss the way his lips curl into a smirk. Focusing your attention onto his side you gasp at the large gash there still slowly leaking blood.

“Not that bad, doll.”

“James Buchanan Barnes! Just because its not life-threatening does not mean that it’s ‘not that bad’. Dammit Buck why wouldn’t you let me help you take care of this as soon as we got here?!” You huff as you grab some antibacterial cloths and begin cleaning the wound, ignoring his hiss as you do so.

“M’sorry, doll...it’s just...haven’t really had anyone take care of me in...well since before the war to be honest. Got used to taking care of myself...used to not having anyone care.” Bucky’s voice is barely a whisper and you have to strain to listen to him. He’s never been so vulnerable with you and you want to make the most of however long he’s going to let this moment last. When its clear he’s waiting for you to say something you reach one hand up to softly cup his cheek and turn him to face you.

“I care. I care so much, Buck. You just have to let me.” You try to put all your emotions into your gaze, desperate for him to see that he doesn’t have to be alone and that he is loved and cared about. He sighs and leans into your hand more, raising his own to rest on your hip.

“Why?”

He spoke so quietly you’re not sure you heard him and raise an eyebrow to ask him to repeat himself, too afraid of breaking the spell that seems to have fallen over the two of you to speak.

“Why do you care so much, doll? Why me? I’m not...I’m not worth it.”

This is it. The chance to tell him how you feel. If he rejects you that’s fine, you decide. Even if he doesn’t return your feelings at least he will know that he is loved and that’s enough for you right now. Your heart feels like it may burst as you weigh your response carefully.

“You, Bucky, are so worthy of all the care in the world. You went through hell and back a million times over and came out the other side a kind, thoughtful, sweet, considerate, gentle, loving man. The world tried to break all of that out of you but you are too strong and too GOOD. The world owes you and if I could wrap up all the love that exists in it and give it to you I would. But I’ve only got mine so that’s what I’ll give you.”

Dropping your hand from his face to his shoulder, you hold your breath as Bucky’s eyes stare into yours as though searching for something. He tightens his grip on your waist, before finally breaking the heavy silence, his voice at least an octave lower.

“You’ll....give me...your love...?” Bucky is the strongest man you know and yet you have never heard him sound so timid and unsure in all the time you’ve known him. He looks so hopeful and scared and you can’t help the confession bursting from your lips.

“Yes Bucky! I will. I already have. It’s yours. I-I love you.” You take a deep breath before continuing, rambling now. “And I don’t expect to you to return my feelings and I hope I haven’t ruined our friendship because that would just kill me nothing has to change between us I just needed you to know that—mmph—“

You’re cut off by Bucky’s lips connecting with yours, his hands cupping your face, thumbs rubbing gently across your cheekbones. The kiss is gentle, careful, almost tentative at first. But then your arms snake around his neck and one of his hands makes its way into your hair and it becomes passionate and desperate. Bucky pulls you between his thighs so you are flush against him and the feeling of his taut muscles against you makes you moan. Your hands lift to tangle in his hair and tug gently as he runs his tongue along your bottom lip, practically begging for entrance which you immediately grant. He growls into the kiss as he explores every inch of your mouth with his tongue, his hands roaming all across your body, pulling you impossibly closer as you arch into him needing to feel him. He stands suddenly, pushing you back a couple of steps until you are pinned between his body and the wall. You gasp for air and he moves his lips along your jaw, down your neck, and then back up to press another searing kiss against your lips before resting his forehead against yours as he tries to catch his own breath. Your chests rise and fall together and he rubs his nose against yours before placing another tender, gentle kiss on the corner of your mouth.

“Sorry....couldn’t help myself...” Bucky manages to tell you between gasps for air.

“Never apologize for THAT...” you giggle and the vibrations of his chuckle against your chest make you feel lightheaded as he leans back to look you in the eye, cupping your cheek tenderly.

“I love you.” He sounds sure. Confident. Like nothing in the world could be more true than that statement. You can’t help the ridiculously giddy grin that splits your face as you tug his face back to yours for another kiss, which he smiles into.

Once you come down from your highs a little bit you manage to coax him back to his spot on the counter and you continue cleaning his injury and stitching him up though it takes much longer now as Bucky keeps distracting you. He plants kisses to your nose, your shoulder, your neck, your cheek, your forearm, basically any part of you that comes close enough to his lips. When you finally finish, you let your hands run along his muscles as you rub your nose against his and kiss him deeply, gently biting his bottom lip eliciting a sound from him that turns your insides completely upside down.

Before you can say or do anything else, the front door opens with a crash and Bucky grabs you and shoves you behind him protectively as he peeks out into the front room to assess the threat.

“Dammit punk! What’re you breaking down the door for?! I thought you were a hostile! Why didn’t you just call and say you were here??!” You sigh in relief at Bucky’s nickname for Steve and move to peer over his shoulder at the Captain as the two super soldiers glare at each other.

“I’ve been calling for several minutes! You didn’t answer! I thought you were in danger, jerk!”

“Sorry, Steve! We were...distracted. Bucky needed stitches.” You quickly apologize and give an excuse in case Bucky isn’t comfortable saying anything yet since you hadn’t exactly taken the time to talk yet. But he just turns to face you and smirks as he tugs you to him for one more kiss before reaching around you to grab his shirt and pull it on.

“Ya. We were pretty damn distracted. Didn’t really appreciate the interruption, punk!” Bucky chuckles and can’t help the grin that has been plastered on his face since you told him you love him. Your cheeks flush as he puts an arm around your shoulder, guiding you to Steve who is looking between you and Bucky with a happy, almost proud, look on his face.

“It’s about damn time, you two! Now, who made the first move? I need to know if I owe Sam $50 or not.”

#let me write for you #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #marvel #james buchanan barnes #bucky fanfic #bucky fluff #bucky fic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x gn!reader #bucky x gender neutral reader #bucky x female reader

[hintsofhoney]

alright, *cracks fingers*. so. I’ve written up a transcript just to lay it all out for myself and get the most important parts. listen, everyone. for all intents and purposes and legal reasons, THIS WAS A DREAM. alright? I dreamt this. and he is literally the nicest human being ever so I don’t want to just like... put our whole convo out there like that, but I think he said some stuff that was important for people to hear so... here we go

my *dreamt* zoom call with thee crowley below the cut

The first five minutes (of my dream) was just a bunch of introduction stuff and talking about my favorite Supernatural seasons which eventually led to him telling me how they filmed the Season 8 finale (which they did over the span of three days, and in between takes the crew members were like dead silent, as to keep the moment going, which Mark thought was really cool. Said it was one of his favorite things they did on Supernatural.) Anyways, he eventually asked me if I had any questions, so, I’ll start there.

MARK: So, do you have any questions you want to ask me about aaaaaannyyyythingggg? 

ME: Um, I guess the number one thing I wanna know… um, so, I know you can’t speak for Dean and I don’t want to talk about Dean because you’re not Jensen, but, there’s like a lot of questions I guess or subtext or whatever concerning Dean’s sexuality and what not, but I want to know about demon Dean and Crowley’s relationship and if there was, I don’t know, anything like, any implied –

MARK: Well I think – I think you’re talking about… there’s a massive difference between sex and love. There’s a massive difference between, um, well, they can intertwine perfectly, that’s not the issue, but I mean you would believe with all the things that Crowley did for the Winchesters, that he was – that he very much loved Sam and Dean or loved who they are or what they are. To reduce it to, you know, a crush, or to something that – I mean, I don’t know, I think Crowley is very probably pansexual more than anything else; I don’t think anything phased him. I think, that’s why the whole stuff with Lucifer and licking the floor was kind of really stupidly boring for me because Crowley did weirder and crazier things on his own. I mean, it became this joke of trying to humiliate somebody who can’t be humiliated. There’s nothing you can humiliate Crowley with. So, that never sort of made sense, that was just a sort of writer’s glitch of thinking, “oooh, this would be funny to knock him down into subservience” and that’s what he does on a Wednesday, I mean it’s like the most un-inspiring thing. I think so much is projected onto the relationship between, certainly the four main characters, um, and, you know, look, getting comfortable with one’s sexuality and one’s identity is a massively complicated things, and if you want to live vicariously through what you believe people’s identity is and you can relate to that, great!  Who cares? I mean, can I be absolutely honest? Apart from – what I do care about, you know, don’t ever take this and piece me or misquote it, because it’s very, very specific – um, somebody stopping somebody being able to express their own identity or whatever is an issue for me. That will always be an issue for me. Um, we should all be treated equally, and we all have the rights to believe and follow those things that we wish to follow, but to project relationships onto characters is an odd thing to do. I mean, it’s wishful thinking in a lot of ways, I mean, actually it’s quite… it’s quite reasonable because in the past if you think about it, if you ask your parents or anyone else, the only way sexuality was used was to, uh, literally demonize somebody. It was only ever used to say somebody was bad because this who they’re in love with. You know, that’s, that’s the thing. And it’s a massive change in the world that we’re moving towards, I should say, uh – a lack of consequence for who one loves, apart from the obvious consequences of human nature. You know, political consequences for who one loves – I’ve just watched Pete Butteigieg being, you know, sitting in congress with his husband there with him; that’s the first time that’s ever happened in United States congress and I’m so proud of that. Not just because the man is gay and happily married – that’s not even the issue for me, it’s because he’s the best man for the job and one of the smartest people on the planet. You know, it’s like using sexual templates, as they were, or gender templates as they are, or orientation templates as they are, we always use to disclude people from things. They were always used to discriminate. You know, labeling somebody was a way of discrimination. And where as labels are very important, to ones self, and they’re very important politically and they’re very important socio-economically and they’re very important in all those aspects, I yearn for a time when nobody gives a damn. I really do. But I mean, we have to go through so much to get there. I mean, let’s be honest, you can’t, you know, right the wrongs of hundreds of years of oppression in 20 minutes by saying, “let’s all move forward”. It just doesn’t work that way, it never has. But there’s a responsibility there, that if you’re going to represent, that you represent all. That you don’t just represent you. So, one has to be careful with a television program or, or, you know, Misha or myself, or, not speaking for the boys, but just generally, um, you have to be careful that what you advocate is inclusive, not disinclusive. Not excluding people... and it’s so hard to frame these conversations, that they’re equitable, it’s so hard to do that. And so, you know, we spend years pointing out the inequity and the injustice and the unfairness of the whole situation, and… I don’t know if the trick is to rise above, or, uh, maybe it’s as simple as love and coming together as a human race and make it very difficult for people to discriminate and exclude based on gender, race, color, religion, any of the subsets of humanity that we’ve decided we have. So, I think personal responsibility is the most important thing, but if one is in a position of power on a TV show, you got to remember what you’re representing, that you have a, you know, you have to cover all or cover none. So, you know, but if you stick to a story and you have a story about a person or two people and their journey, that’s shining light on things. If you try to advocate for all, I think it becomes a little more complicated. Does that make sense?

so, i just feel like he said some important things there, but like I also don’t really understand what he’s getting at really, y’know? oh! also, he didn’t watch the finale lmao 

also! there’s this:

MARK: Because if you come down on one side or another, you’re admitting the sides, and that has its own political ramifications. If you push the ball up in the air and say, “you decide”, I don’t think that’s copping out. I think that’s, maybe not fulfilling everybody’s expectations, or not fulfilling everybody’s hopes, but at least you’re getting the question asked. You know, at least you’re getting the question asked. At least people are relating to it and going, “well, what if?”. Because it’s all “what if”, I mean, it’s a TV show, so it’s “what if”, you know? It’s not Misha being in love with Jensen, I mean as much as he loves Jensen, I don’t think that’s his thing – I mean you never know – but I’m saying yet again, I don’t exclude anything from anybody (I LITERALLY CAN’T BELIEVE HE SAID THIS LMAO). But to force my opinion or my identity belief upon a situation has a cost. It may be right, it may be absolutely right, and it may be necessary in many, many cases. But, in that circumstance, I think… there are a lot of people in the world that say that Jesus, for example, was anti-homosexual and that he was – and none of that is true, and none of that is provable in the New Testament, and I’m not talking about Leviticus and I’m not talking about early Bible and I’m not talking about the fact that more than 25,000 words have been changed in the King James edition and all of this stuff, but these things that people hold so sacred, the confusion that arises from that is being told that a man loving a man or a woman loving a woman or a man loving a man and a woman or whatever combination being there is either right or wrong because you’re being told by a pastor or the leaders of your church, is a very difficult thing to break down. I think what you have to do is at least put it out there so it’s visible, and so it becomes less and less deniable. And you know, people change over years, that’s the trouble with youth, is shit doesn’t move fast enough. “I need a decision now!”, and unfortunately, when you’re dealing with centuries of prejudice and centuries of un-enlightenment, I think that sometimes the best thing to do is reach as many people as possible and pose the question. And sometimes it’s essential to make a statement, absolutely, no question. It is essential to make a stand, in some circumstances. But to polarize a TV show, can be very disingenuous to those who need to go ask their own questions, who need to go say, “well, where does Jesus say this is wrong?” you know, if that’s your beliefs.

he also said, when we went off on a tangent about doom patrol:

MARK: There are issues that are being addressed here [on Doom Patrol] that are not being addressed on other shows, and yet again, we have the format, and I don’t know that Supernatural ever had the format because it was on the CW.

anywho, in conclusion, fuck the cw.

also, again, for all intents and purposes this was a dream I had :)))))))

[dragon-kazansky]

Payback | Niki Lauda

Written just for @lieutenantn 💕💕💕

Tried to keep it gender neutral reader

I did my best, this is my first attempt at Lauda 🥺

SMUT!!!

It was incredibly hot. Even with all the doors and windows open it was incredibly hot. You couldn't let the heat affect you, you had somewhere to be.

You had no idea why he had called for you. Unless it was race day, he never needed you otherwise. Niki Lauda didn't ever call you out to his place. Why would he?

Yet, here you were, standing at his door waiting for him to answer. You were full of suspicion. You had no reason to be here.

The door opens and there stands Lauda, looking at you with that impartial expression on his face. He always looked at you like that. You waited for him to say something, but all he did was leave the door open. You sighed as you followed him inside, closing the door behind you.

You stare at his back as you wait for him to explain why he called you of all people here. He didn't say anything right away. You couldn't see his expression change as he thought over what he intended to do. He had no one else to ask this of, you were his only option.

This must be such a weird situation for you.

He turns and looks at you, letting out a sigh through his nose. His eyes were piercing.

You wait.

"I need you to do something for me. You're the only person I can ask."

You furrow your brow at him, crossing your arms and waiting for him to say more. He doesn't say anything right away, just watches you. Your patience is wearing thin, but you wait.

You did not need to deal with moody Niki.

"What do you need me to do?"

He looks at you, trying to read your expression. His tongue darts out and licks his lips as he adjusts his standing position and speaks.

"I need you to be my date this weekend."

You stare at him.

Those aren't words you expected to hear from him. Especially toward you. Niki Lauda didn't ever look at you twice.

"You need what?" You hiss, looking him up and down. Was he out of his mind?

"You heard me."

"Why do you need me to do that? Where is this coming from? Who are you and what have you done with the real Niki Lauda?"

He sighs and rolls his eyes, hands on his hips as he looks at you.

"It doesn't matter why. I just need you to do it. One day, that's all it is."

"All it is? Why are you asking this of me? And don't tell me it doesnt matter, you would never ask me up to your home to pull a favour like this."

He lowers his hands from his hips and narrows his eyes at you a bit.

"It's just for show. One day. That's all it is."

"Does this have something to do with Hunt?"

His silence says it all. It's your turn to sigh as you turn on your heel.

"I am not here to be used at your convenience, Lauda."

You walk back to the door. Just as you open it is claes again. Niki has his hand flat against it, having pushed it shut. You glare at him as you turn your head to look at him.

"Pick someone else Niki. Someone you can stand."

He stares at you. You can't tell what's going through his head, but you figure he has given in when he pushes off the door. You open it again, but are once again stopped, this time by his words.

"I can stand you."

You don't look at him. You scoff and shake your head.

"Lying doesn't change anything."

"I am not lying. I don't lie. Not to you."

You risk glancing back at him. His expression hasn't changed much, maybe a late softer around the eyes. For some reason that causes your heart to skip a beat or two.

"You never talk to me, not unless you have to."

"That doesn't mean I don't like you."

You close the door and turn to face him, watching him curiously. This is the most he's ever said to you, normally you're standing there on the sidelines until he has a purpose for you.

"What do I get if I do this?"

"What do you want?"

You think about it. You smile softly. He looks at you, waiting to hear what's on your mind.

"Lunch. You take me out for lunch."

"That's all?"

"Yeah, that's all."

You see his lip twitch a bit, but he doesn't smile completely. His eyes are softer on you though.

"Then it's a deal."

You nod. Niki tells you what he wants you to do and where to meet. You agree and leave his home, not thinking too much about this fake dating thing he has asked of you. He just wants to show up Hunt, that's all.

You put on your nicest outfit and meet him where he asked you to meet him. He picks you up, right on time, and you drive down to the event.

The house he pulls up outside of is very nice. Many other drivers are entering the building as you get out of the car.

Hunt's car is parked directly outside.

Niki offers you his arm and you both head inside. What an actress you become. Niki glances at the way you fall into the persona of his date for the evening.

The smile on your lips, the way you touch him, the way you look at him. He knew he could rely on you.

You both enter the house and people instantly come over to greet Lauda. You sort of cling to his side as they talk to him. Niki talks to them for a little bit, but is quick to find an excuse to leave with you. You looked a little overwhelmed.

"I don't see him," you say.

"Who?" He asks, momentarily forgetting the reason he had asked you to be here.

"James Hunt."

"Oh."

You glance around the room, but you don't see him at all. He must be here though, you saw his car outside.

"Well, this is unexpected."

You both turn. There he is.

"Didn't expect you if all people to be on his arm," Hunt looked between the pair of you.

"Why not?" Niki asked, already irritated.

"Because you're an asshole and they're not?" Hunt gave a condensing grin. You felt Niki's hand clench behind you where his hand was resting on your back.

Lauda very clearly wants to say something, but you beat him to it.

"He's not an asshole to me," you lie.

Hunt looks at you curiously.

"You sure about that? I've seen the way he ignores you. Don't think I haven't noticed you, Y/N."

"You know my name?" You ask, voice a little soft. You didn't think anyone paid much attention to you hanging about the races.

"Yeah, course I do. You're at every race. Always with him, but he doesn't pay attention to you."

Niki hadn't realised how much attention Hunt had been paying to you. He wouldn't have asked this if you if he knew. The fact that Hunt is even talking about him this way is pissing him off. Especially when he knows Hunt is telling the truth.

As much as Niki liked you, he definitely didn't give you much time of the day, no matter much time you spent with him.

"Things can change, Hunt."

James looked at him, unconvinced, but he also saw the way your hand was clutching Lauda's jacket.

"Maybe I am wrong."

You feel Niki's hand relax behind you.

A pretty young woman comes up to James and smiles at him. With Hunt now distracted, Niki leads you away. His hand was firm around you as he passed by everyone with ease. He took you into another room, almost rushing to get there.

"Where are we going?"

He doesn't answer your question as he closes the door to the empty room and looks at you.

"Do you hate me?" He asks.

"Hate you?"

"Yes, hate me. Do you hate me because of the way I have treated you? I am an asshole. I have always been one when it came to you, yet you stick around anyway. Why?"

You remain silent.

Niki steps up in front of you and looks at you. His gaze feels intense on you and suddenly you feel like you're standing outside his house in the blazing heat of the sun again.

"I don't hate you," you whisper.

"You don't?"

You shake your head. "No, I've never hated you, Niki. I admire you, even if you do act like an asshole sometimes."

"For whatever it is worth, I do like you, Y/N."

"Do you?"

"Yes."

He is standing so close. All you would have to do is pull him closer by the lapels of his jacket and he could be kissing you.

Suddenly you desired nothing more.

You eyes glance down to his lips. You watch the way they part slightly, knowing he was watching you.

He's kissing you before you can register anything else. It's quite heated, hungry. There's a feeling that he could have been resisting this for some time, but that can't possibly be.

He guides you back until your legs bump into the edge of a bed. You had been so lost in the fact Niki had rushed you off somewhere, you hadn't realised he had taking you to a bedroom.

His intention was just to find out how you really saw him, but this turned out better than he thought.

He had you lying back on the bed while he uncooked his belt. You looked up at him with eyes he couldn't quite read.

"You could tell me to stop and I could take you home. We could go back to how we were before," he says, hands hovering the waistband of his trousers.

You sit up slowly and keep your eyes locked on his as your hands do the rest of the work for him. His breathing hitches as you undress him, you don't look away from him as you drop his clothes to his ankles.

That's all the answer he needed.

He was over you again, your lips being claimed by his again. Your hands work at pushing his jacket away from his shoulders and tossing it to the floor. Only once they were done did you then let your fingers tangle in his curls.

Niki's hands work on your clothing. He won't be satisfied until you're in the same position as he is.

Now you're bare to him from the waist down.

"Who's bed is this?" You ask, whispering against his lips.

"I don't care," he replies, kissing you again.

The fingers of his left hand trail down between your legs and give you some well deserved attention. He was desperate to feel you in every way he possibly could.

He wanted you.

This was the payback for how he treated you. Everything was going to change after this. He would make it up to you.

You placed a hand to his cheek and looked at him with gentle eyes. He was eager for you, but he also found satisfaction in just looking at you for a moment.

He considered himself to be a very lucky man right at this moment.

He kisses you again, this time while pushing into you. He didn't want to wait any longer, plus, the longer you were both gone, the more suspicious it might seem to anyone who saw him earlier.

You gasped against his lips as you adjusted to him.

You never expected to end up here. A few days ago he wouldn't have looked at you twice. Now you're on a stranger's bed half naked.

He wasn't gentle. He wasn't here to be gentle. He had you clawing at the sheets under you, your head back, lips parted, all kinds of noises coming out. As much as he e enjoyed making your squirm under him, he needed you to be quiet. The music out there wasn't loud enough to block out sounds at all.

He places a hand over your mouth and looks at you. He shames his head silently. You nod, but he doesn't let go right away. When he does, you press a kiss to his palm before it leaves you completely.

The bed shakes as his thrusts become a little more sharp and violent against you. It's very hard trying to keep the noise level down, but you manage it.

Seeing you like this, it was etched into his brain. What a sight you were.

Your arms resting over his shoulders, fingers clawing in his hair and on his back. You want to feel him, touch him. Just the same he wanted of you.

All that time he spent pushing you to the side felt wasted. He could have had you so much sooner. Why did he wait for Hunt to push him over the edge to make this happen?

He kissed you. Again and again and again.

You were intoxicating to him.

You couldn't stop the mean from escaping you as he just hit the right spot. Oh God, the sound you were making, he wanted more of them. If there weren't so many people in the other rooms, he would have you singing.

You couldn't hold on much longer. You clenched around him tightly, he knew you were close, as was he, but he wanted you climax first.

He kept going, grinding into you with precision and perfect rhythm.

You came for him. His lips curled upward.

His turn. He increased his pace and focused on his own pleasure, but the way your hands caressed his face gently and brought his face down to yours some more, really had him melting for you.

He twitches within you. You brush your lips against his in the softest manner. He comes undone in seconds.

He releases within you and brushes his lips against your cheek as he catches his breath.

"Hunt was wrong."

You wait for him to elaborate. He doesn't.

Niki pulls out of you, leaving you feeling a little empty without him. He climbs off the ned and grabs his forgotten trousers. You take a moment to catch you breath, but before you could lift yourself up, Niki offers you his hand.

You accept his help and slowly stand, dressing yourself when he hands you your forgotten clothes.

He fixes your hair delicately. You're almost jealous by the fact his curly hair looked no different, despite how much your fingers tugged and roamed within them.

Once you were all fixed up, Niki reached for your hand. You accepted it and let him lead the way back to the party. Luckily there weren't many people about right outside, no one seemed to notice the pair of you slipping back into the main room.

Hunt was very well distracted elsewhere. Lauda didn't even glance at him as he took you outside.

"Shouldn't be mingle some more?"

"No. I am done here. Besides, I owe you lunch, remember."

You smile and tug at his hand, causing him to stop. Niki looks at you.

"Forget lunch. I don't care any more. I got something better out of this anyway."

"Oh?" He grinned.

"Yeah, how many people get to fuck Niki Lauda at a party?"

He faces you full on.

"You know I have no intention of letting you go after this?" He asks, gesturing between you both with his free hand.

"You want to go from fake date to actual date?"

"If you'll have me."

You stare at him, trying to read his eyes. Lauda once again becomes unreadable to you as silence settles between you both.

"You're serious?"

"Do I look like I'm laughing?"

"Is this just to prove Hunt wrong again? I'm not some plaything here to get in between this rivalry you have with him."

Niki steps closes and places his hands on your shoulders. His palms are warm.

"I know you're not. I was a fool to use you as such in the first place. I am asking genuinely."

You can't help the soft smile that appears on your face. He was serious. He actually meant it.

You kiss him.

You don't care who sees.

He returns the gesture eagerly. All he could ever want now is right here in front of him.

He really did feel like the luckiest man in the world.

@ajeff855 @moonstuffsteve @sky-writes-stuff @lieutenantn @lostghostgirl94 @friday18eo @yaskna @my-blood-is-maple-syrup @gingerwriter97 @lunamooney2406 @wilder-fangirl @belle82devart @hb8301 @stardancerluv @killeromanoff @cathrin2405 @zemosimp420 @charistory @sleepyflutist18 @supercharged-tatertot @belle82devart @sexyundeadtrash @realremyd @goddessofmischief03 @myybebe

#niki lauda x reader #niki lauda #daniel bruhl #rush #smut

[marauders-venting]

The Staircase Knows

pairing: none (this isn’t a romantic fic)

genre: fluff (mostly)

warnings: internalised transph*bia, mentions of (period) blood, (just note that they are young in this fic and they have simple ideas of gender so don’t come for them)

words: 2612

note: thank you so much to @samyistrying for doing a sensitive reading of my fic and teaching me more about trans identities!!

a/n: in this fic Remus is trans and uses he/him and Dorcas is woman-aligned non-binary person and uses she/they

please know that i am not a trans man!! I read about the experiences of trans men on the internet and other fics with trans characters before writing this so I hope i’ve portrayed this fairly and accurately (but obviously, every trans man has a different experience). if something sounds wrong or offensive to you please let me know!! I’m still young and i want to learn more and improve so that i can make my writing more inclusive

Remus woke up with a groan. He’d had a stomach ache since last night and it hadn’t gotten any better. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and tossed the blanket off him. Upon sitting up, he noticed several red spots on the sheet of his bed. What the… he stood up and saw a big red stain where he had just been sitting. Blood. He quickly scanned the room and found that Sirius was the only one there, still drooling on his pillow. Remus covered the bed with his blanket to hide the stain and hurried to the bathroom. He pulled down his pants and found that both his underwear and his pants were stained with blood. His hands began to tremble. They would know now. He couldn’t hide this from them. All his friends would know that he wasn’t a real boy. A sob escaped him and he covered his mouth with his hand to try and stifle the sound. But it was too late. There was a knock on the door.

“Remus?” came Sirius’ voice. “Remus, is everything ok?” Remus tried to compose himself and give a proper answer but he was crying too hard. “Remus, what’s going on?” Sirius’ voice sounded urgent. “There’s blood on your blanket Remus, what happened?” Fuck. In his rush, he hadn’t noticed that the blanket had been stained too.

“Everything’s fine,” Remus said, but even he could hear how shaky and unconvincing his voice sounded.

“Can I come in?” Sirius asked softly.

“No!” Remus said.

“Remus, if one of your scars have started bleeding again—”

“No, no it’s not that,” Remus said. “I swear, I’m not injured. I’m fine.”

“So where did the blood come from?” Sirius asked.

“I—” Remus knew he couldn’t keep this hidden forever. It was only a matter of time before his friends found out. They had accepted him as a werewolf, sure. But there’s no way they would want a girl sleeping in their dorm. They’d find it too weird. And they’d be mad at him for lying to them so they wouldn’t want to stay friends. It was over. He’d only known James, Sirius and Peter for three years but they’d been the three best years of his life, except maybe the years before he’d been bitten by Greyback but he could hardly remember that anyway.

He’d known that they would find out eventually. But he had hoped for a little more time. The universe never seemed to be on his side though, and the sooner he accepted it the better.

“Just give me one second,” he said to Sirius. He composed himself, wiped the tears off his face, hid the blood as best he could and opened the door.

“Remus, what’s going on?” Sirius said, concern shining through his eyes. “Are you sure you aren’t hurt?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m sure,” Remus said. “There’s something I have to tell you.”

“Ok,” Sirius said. “What is it?”

He was tempted to say, “nevermind” and crawl into bed with a book but he knew that would only make Sirius more curious. There was no backing out of this now.

“Remus, are you sure you’re ok?” Sirius asked, gently. Remus realised he had not spoken for several moments and was just standing there, hands clenched, chewing the inside of his cheeks raw.

“Yeah everything’s fine,” Remus said, trying to relax his muscles. “I just… I just wanted to tell you…” I can’t do this I can’t do this I can’t do this, Remus thought. Alarms were going off in his head, warning him not to go any further, not to say another word. Shut up. He felt as though a block in his throat was preventing him from speaking. And breathing. He tried to take a deep breath but found himself hyperventilating instead. Fuck.

“Remus, what’s going on? You’re scaring me,” Sirius said urgently.

“No, it’s nothing to worry about,” Remus said, his muscles tensing up again. “I need to tell you… that…” He hung his head and closed his eyes. He couldn’t do this.

“You’re shivering,” Sirius said. “Come on. Sit down and tell me.” Sirius took Remus by the wrist and started leading him out of the bathroom but Remus flinched and pulled his hand out of Sirius’ grasp.

“Sorry,” Sirius said, the guilt seeping through his voice.

“No, don’t be, I… I’d rather stand though… here if that’s ok.” That part wasn’t true. Remus’ legs were shaking and he was sure they’d collapse in on themselves at any moment but he couldn’t sit and cover everything with blood. So he’d stand.

“Yeah, of course,” Sirius said. “Whatever you want.” But Remus still wasn’t saying anything. He just stood, biting his lip. He couldn’t do this. But Sirius didn’t ask Remus to speak again. Remus appreciated that. How did Sirius always know exactly how to help him? Well, it didn’t matter. Sirius would be leaving him soon. Any minute now. As soon as Remus managed to get the words out of his mouth. Better sooner than later, I suppose, he thought.

“Ok,” said Remus, exhaling loudly, “ok, there’s something I need to tell you. It’s not a big deal, really, I’ve made it out to be more than it is. Basically…” Breathe, he told himself, just breathe and go on. “I—” Remus tried to release the tension but he couldn’t. “I—” He got stuck again.

“Remus, it’s ok,” Sirius said. “Whatever it is, it’ll be fine, I promise.” Remus nodded and tried to take a deep breath.

“I’m transgender,” Remus said. Sirius was quiet for a moment. He seemed to be thinking.

“As in you transitioned from girl to boy or you want to transition from boy to girl?”

“As in I transitioned from girl to boy,” Remus said. He was digging his nails into his upper arm, a nervous habit. “I’m a trans boy.”

“I don’t understand,” Sirius said. “What does that have to do with the blood?”

“What? Oh, um, I got my period. I think.”

“Oh,” Sirius said. “Does it hurt?”

“W–what?” Remus asked, looking at him.

“Does it hurt?” Sirius asked again. “Do you need me to get you something?”

“No,” Remus said. “I mean, yeah it kinda hurts. I’ve got stomach cramps but the werewolf stuff is… is worse.”

“Ok,” Sirius nodded.

“I’m sorry I lied to you,” Remus said. Sirius may be acting like everything is ok but Remus knows it’s not. There’s no way Sirius is ok with this. He can’t be.

“What are you talking about?” Sirius said. “You didn’t lie to me.”

“Yeah, I did. I told you that I’m a boy, when really… really I’m… a girl.”

“Hey, Remus, listen to me,” Sirius said. “You are not a girl. So you don’t have a penis. So what? Who gives a fuck? It doesn't make you less of a boy. You can be whatever gender you want, Remus. Whatever gender you are. Are you a boy?”

“I mean, yeah but—”

“Then there’s no ‘but’,” Sirius said. “You are a boy. Case closed.” Remus nodded.

“Thank you, Sirius,” he said, quietly.

“Anytime,” Sirius said, putting an arm around Remus

“But James and Peter—”

“Will be fine with it as well,” Sirius said, cutting Remus off before he could voice his worries. “Trust me, Remus, they won’t care. And neither do I. You are who you say you are. And I’ll support you. And James and Peter will too. But you don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to. It’s entirely up to you.” Remus nodded.

“I think… could we just… keep this between us? Just for a while…” Remus said. “I… I want to tell them just not… not now…”

“Of course,” Sirius said. “Take your time. But whenever you’re ready, it will be fine.”

“Ok,” Remus said, still unsure. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Sirius said, smiling. “Ok, I don’t know shit about periods but do you want me to get Lily to help you with this? Or someone else?”

“One of the other girls, you mean,” Remus said, clenching his jaw. There was no escaping this.

“No, one of the other people who have periods,” Sirius said. “Dorcas isn’t a girl, are they? But she still has a period.” Remus hesitated for a second.

“Ok, get Lily but don’t… don’t tell her about this,” he said. “I think I should be the one to tell her. Just tell her I need some help.”

“Ok,” Sirius said. “I’ll be right back. And Remus?”

“Yeah?”

“Everything’s going to be ok,” Sirius said, pulling him in for a hug. “Nobody is going to look at you any differently because of this. Just like none of us looked at you differently when we found out about your furry little problem. This changes nothing.” Remus smiled a little.

“Thank you, Sirius,” he said. “Really, it… it means a lot to me.”

“Of course,” Sirius said. “I’ll go get Lily then.” And he turned and walked out the door, leaving Remus a little breathless, though he wasn’t quite sure why.

---------

“Remus?” Lily’s voice called. “Remus, what’s wrong? Sirius told me you needed help. Where are you?”

“I’m in the bathroom,” Remus said.

“Oh,” Lily hesitated. “Do you… do you want me to come in?”

“Don’t worry, I’m wearing clothes,” Remus said.

“Oh ok,” Lily said and the door swung open. “What’s wrong?”

“Ok um,” Remus started. He was struggling to breathe again. Why did this have to be so difficult? “I… um— fuck,” he said under his breath.

“Remus, it's ok,” she said. “Whatever it is, you can tell me, I promise. You’re my best friend.” Remus nodded.

“Ok so—” he took a deep breath, “I’m trans. I–I’m a boy but I-I still have a period and… and…”

“Oh Remus,” she said, hugging him. “Thank you so much for telling me. I’m so proud of you. And you know this doesn’t change anything. You’re still my best friend and you’re still a boy.”

“Thanks,” Remus said. “Really, Lils, thank you.”

“So you got your period, huh?” she says.

“Yeah,” Remus nods. “And everything is covered in blood and I have no idea what I’m supposed to do.”

“Ah well, welcome to the other side where chocolate and tea and hot packs are our best friends,” Lily said, laughing. “Although I guess that’s not new to you. Ok don’t worry, I’ll help you with this. It’s gonna be fine.” Remus nodded, unable to say anything. “So as usual magic makes everything a whole lot easier because there are spells for practically anything. I think I actually have some pads in my bag so how about I show you how to use those and then you can shower and change and I’ll teach you how to remove blood stains from everything?”

“Thank you so much, Lily, you’re a lifesaver,” Remus said, hugging her.

“Of course,” Lily said, pulling what Remus assumed was a pad out of a small pouch in her bag. “I learnt all the spells and stuff from Marlene so it’s just nice to have someone to pass on the knowledge to myself.” She opened the pad and showed it to Remus. “This is a pad,” she said. “You just peel it off this paper part and stick it in the middle of the underwear. And you see these flaps? You fold them underneath the underwear to hold the pad in place. Get it?”

“I think so,” Remus said. “I guess I’ll find out.”

“Ok I’ll wait in the room,” Lily said. “Just call me if you need anything.”

“Thanks a million, Lils,” Remus said again.

“Anytime, Rem.”

So Remus showered and put on clean clothes and a pad for the first time. Then he came out of the bathroom and found Lily sitting on the floor with her back against the closet.

“You know you could’ve sat on one of the beds right?” Remus said.

“I like the floor,” she said. He raised a skeptical eyebrow at her. “What? I’m serious, I like the fl— oh no, wait! I didn’t mean to say I’m serious, please don’t make the pun!”

“Oh calm down, I’m not James,” he said. Lily shrugged.

“Ok so now I’ll teach you the spell to remove the bloodstains,” she said, standing up. She showed him the wand movement and the incantation, providing an example on his blood-stained sheets. The blood siphoned away within seconds and left no trace. Remus tried it on his blood-stained clothes with the same result.

“You should put everything in the laundry anyway though,” Lily said, “the spell removes the visible stains but it doesn’t actually clean things.”

“Lily, thank you so much for this,” Remus said after everything had been cleaned. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

“Aww, of course, Rem,” she said. “And you can always ask me for help, whatever you need.”

“Thanks,” he said. “You really are the best. So is there anything else you think I should know?”

“Um,” she thought, “I mean, I guess there are tampons but most people don’t use them on their first period anyway so we can wait with that. But I will give you a couple of packs of pads because you’ll need those.”

“Ok thanks,” he said.

“Remus, how many times have you said thank you in the last five minutes?” Lily asked.

“I don’t know,” Remus shrugged. “As many times as you deserved to hear it.”

“Shut up, I should be thanking you,” she said, hugging him. “I know it wasn’t easy for you to tell me this,” she said, quieter now. “But I’m so glad that you did. And I’m always here for you.”

“Tha—”

“Don’t say thank you!” she said.

“Fine then,” he said. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, Rem.”

They went back downstairs, where they found their friends sitting in the common room, talking.

“I’ll be right back,” Lily said and then quietly so only Remus could hear, she added, “I’ll just get the pads from my dorm.”

“I’ll come with you,” he said, following her towards the staircase to the girl’s dormitory.

“But Remus—” he heard James call out. He knew what James was going to say. Lily went up the stairs and Remus, hesitating only for a second, followed her up. Or at least, he tried. But he only made it up two steps before the staircase turned into a slide and he slid to the bottom, Lily slipping down as well and crashing into him.

“Maybe you should wait here,” Lily said, as they stood up and the slide turned back into a staircase.

“Ok,” Remus said, smiling wide.

“Why would you do that?” James asked, confused. “You knew it wouldn't work.”

“Must’ve slipped my mind,” Remus said, sitting beside Sirius. He couldn’t hide his smile but Sirius grinned back.

“Why are you two smiling like that?” Peter asked.

“It’s a nice day,” Sirius said. “Don’t you think?”

“Uh, sure,” Peter said.

“It’s a nice day to leave dungbombs in the Slytherin common room if that’s what you mean,” James said, a mischievous grin stretching across his face.

“Yeah,” Sirius said, glancing at Remus. “That’s what I mean.”

From that day, whenever the dysphoria became too much for Remus and nothing his friends said made him feel better, he’d wait until everybody went to sleep and would go sit on the stairs to the girls’ dormitory that would immediately turn into a slide when he took the first step. He’d sit there and remind himself that everything is ok. He knows who he is. His family knows who he is. His friends know who he is. Even the staircase knows.

#remus lupin #remus lupin fluff #trans remus lupin #sirius black #sirius black fluff #moony #padfoot #lily evans #lily evans fluff #james potter #james potter fluff #peter pettigrew #Marauders #marauders fanfiction #marauders oneshot #young marauders

[transsexualhamlet]

pushing my shameless trans agenda onto liam

Hi i just think he’s transgender have you seen the man

Ok so obviously I’m not intending to say this is canon or ever will be canon i just think it would be Neat and i can fit it within canon since well we really can’t tell and there’s honestly a lot of things that fit with it :) also it’s just my favorite characters get hit with the transgenderification beam bc i say so

The whole argument is basically:

-the Name Situation

-his appearance and mannerisms

-his Past TM 

-the Bond Situation

-and because I said so

But yeah so the main reason this came to mind is because of the whole deal with his name. I made a previous post on this but yeah, the thing about liam’s name is a big deal, and you know, as a trans person I see it and relate it to that.

The main thing is that there was no necessity to change his name. Louis never changed his first name, and there was no need to. And it’s never really gone over why william’s past life is so important to cover up, other than the fact that he did a court case where he threatened to cut a guy’s arm off when he was like eight, but that’s like... you know, that’s reasonable. He’s very very protective of his past identity, where louis kind of isn’t. 

And the fact is, William isn’t an alias, he didn’t have to take that name, he isn’t just doing it out of necessity- he truly does identify with that name, proven in many ways. He enjoys nicknames derived from it. And the thing most indicative of this is Sherlock. In chapter 53, he goes wayyyy out of his comfort zone to actually reveal his past identity and his name. Sherlock knows it, the entire point is to reveal that to him, as a way of giving up the last and most important of his secrets. And yet, even then, William signs his letter ‘William James Moriarty’, though it’s supposed to be his innermost, most vulnerable self.

This pretty much says for sure it’s the name he wants to be called, the name he identifies with, and not whatever his name used to be. It’s important to him, and that’s not a front- have you read that fucking letter? If he was going to admit himself as anything else, it would be there.

Sherlock respects that as well- if there was ever a time when Sherlock would not call him liam, it would be in chapter 55. And yet the most important thing is that he still did call him Liam. He was accepting this dude even though he used to be something else, he didn’t care and he was still willing to save him and love him. Hmmm Sherlock allegory for Trans Ally lmao. 

How the identity and name itself is treated also makes it seem even more a positive represetation of a deadname situation. They never tell us his name. And that’s like... honestly important. They’re going out of their way to say that his old name isn’t important. They’re not keeping it secret for any reason than to show that it doesn’t matter, that no matter what he used to be, William James Moriarty is what he is now.

Anyway, other than the name situation, there are still a lot of other factors that go into my thoughts about it.

A lot of his behaviors are indicative to it, especially when he is a kid there are moments where im just like “haha this is an allegory for transgenderism”. 

Like first and foremost have you seen how this man looks as a kid? That is the most androgynous motherfucker you’ve ever laid eyes on. No one would honestly be able to tell, the way he looks as a kid is in no way disproving this- kind of the opposite, in fact.

are you honestly looking at this face and telling me rn you know that’s a cisgender boy?

And honestly, the fact that Albert lends him some of his old clothes just to go around outside in, and then when he comes back the butler is like Take Those Off Right Now Those Aren’t For You is like. Hm. That’s a gender thing. It’s obviously not the case but yknow, another allegory TM.

In his own orphanage as well, he basically took the ‘eldest daughter’ role to a T. He was doing all the chores, taking care of the children, teaching them things, actually managing all the finances as a Child, and kind of thanklessly getting handed this workload he took on bc, you know, eldest daughter. This role just isn’t really given to guys, no matter if they’re Smart TM? I feel like an amab person here would be given the oooh special gifted kid treatment but he’s not, they mostly just use him there as “free extra mom and 100% adult at 12″.

Another big thing is the entire situation around bond, who is literally a canon trans character. For this time period, the way the Moriartys handled the situation seems almost comically out of place. These dudes from the 1800s really just were like “oh yeah ofc you’re a man and we’ll fight anyone who says otherwise and facilitate you in any way possible”- they accepted it without even having to come to terms with the idea that it could be a thing. Bond clarifies constantly that it isn’t about him filling a role, that this is genuinely him, there’s no doubt about it. They clearly have run across it before, and it’s a significant and important issue to them that at least one of them has to have experienced firsthand. It literally just doesn’t make any sense otherwise.

Also in this situation I think it’s kind of funny that the one name they have on hand for the transgenders is James like come on you can do better than that

The parallels between him and Bond also make the whole situation really funny, especially with Sherlock bc it’s like wow sherlock i see you have a type and it’s blond trans men. 

Plus, the man is overly secretive, he refuses to let anyone but Louis in his room and just generally doesn’t let people he doesn’t trust get close to him, obviously there are plenty of valid secrets he is keeping, it’s just another thing that points to it.

And I mean, honestly. Just look at the dude. Transgender trait: awful haircut. It’s the awful trans haircut you get from having a Gender Moment and going to a cis barber like “cut my hair short” and they give you karen hair. Somehow he owns it? But it’s an objectively terrible haircut.

My last point: because I said so. All my favorite characters get the transgenderification beam.

So you know, I refuse to believe he is cis until they decide we get to see him shirtless, come on anime team, don’t be cowards lmao

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty

[thatguyriggs]

[ E. “RIGGS” RIGSBY, HE/HIM, CIS MAN, ALEX FITZALAN ] is a TWENTY-TWO year old HOT DOG VENDOR from PROSPER, WV. They are LAID-BACK and COMPASSIONATE but also SARDONIC and ALOOF. He reminds me of light wash denim jackets, dirty black boots, unkempt hair and black coffee.

BASICS

FULL NAME: E. E. Rigsby

NICKNAME(S): Riggs ( He couldn’t pronounce his real name when he was a kid. Riggs was the only thing he could say so his aunt and uncle just rolled with it and it stuck. It sounded more like ‘wigs’ when he was a toddler but whatever. )

BIRTHDAY: May 13, 1975

AGE: 22

HOMETOWN: Prosper, WV

BIRTHPLACE: Unknown

RELIGION: Atheist

FAMILY

MOTHER: Victoria “Tori” Marie Rigsby ( Deceased )

FATHER: Jacob “Jake” Wright ( They think?? Most probably him anyway. )

AUNT: Lisa Anne Moore, nee Rigsby ( Housewife )

UNCLE: Peter James Moore ( Construction Manager )

SIBLINGS: None

COUSIN: Georgia May George Moore (High School Senior)

PETS: None

APPEARANCE: Riggs stands just short of 6 feet tall. He’s not skinny but he isn’t jacked either. His hair sits in loose curls on his head and is often unkempt. He hates the feeling of an itchy face so despite his laziness, you’ll never see his facial hair grow beyond a 5 o’clock shadow.

STYLE: Riggs is commonly seen around town wearing the same outfit. A light wash denim jacket over a creased white t-shirt and some dark jeans. On his feet, he rocks a pair of old black work boots – the same pair he’s worn since he was 17. They used to be his uncle’s but they were passed onto Riggs when he took on a summer job at one of his uncle’s construction sites.

FAMILY: Riggs has been in the care of his aunt and uncle, Lisa and Peter, since he was just a few days old. They’re traditional, church-going people. For a while, he thought they were his parents but when he was about 5, they told him he was the abandoned child of a runaway drug addict. Left on the doorstep and everything. To Riggs’s knowledge, he’s an only child. The closest thing he has to a sibling is his cousin, George, who as of a few days ago was sent away upstate to ‘get some clarity’ over their ‘bewildering choices’. (His cousin is going through some gender identity issues. Has cut their hair short and been wearing masculine clothes.) His relationship with his aunt and uncle have never been the best but because of this, it’s now practically non-existent.

FRIENDS: Riggs doesn’t really have a social circle. He’s easygoing enough to get along with a lot of people but he prefers his own company. When he does spend time with others, his presence is faint. And he tends to spend time with ‘burnouts’. He tags along for the adventure but doesn’t contribute much in terms of conversation. It’s possible to know him for years and not know much about him. Riggs wouldn’t say he likes the people he spends time with but company was company when you were bored out of your mind and needed a drink.

LIVING SITUATION: Riggs used to live in a moderately-sized home with his aunt’s family in Prosper. However, since his aunt and uncle’s decision to send his cousin away a few days ago, Riggs has decided he’d rather be anywhere else. It’s only been a couple of days into his homelessness but he’s managed to find a place to sleep for each of them, be it in some girl’s bed or in one of the many abandoned structures in Hazzard. Currently, he’s secretly taken residence in the cramped store room of his workplace. He believes he’ll be fine as long as his supervisor didn’t magically decide they wanted to do inventory.

WORK: If you don’t know Riggs as the sardonic presence making inappropriately timed comments, then you know him as the guy who sells hot dogs over at Hazzard. He’s had the gig since he graduated high school, much to his uncle’s dismay who wanted Riggs to work as part of his construction crew. Being a vendor at Hometown Hotdogs isn’t the most appealing of jobs nor is it particularly worth having pride over, but he finds it entertaining and it lines his pockets with enough spare change to spend on cigarettes and black coffee. Is he the best employee? No. But he shows up on time 98% of the time and does what needs to be get done.

SCHOOL: School has never been Riggs’s strong suit. He didn’t like the structure and what he was learning didn’t interest him. Through the years, his teachers have called him distracted, and when he wasn’t distracted, he simply couldn’t ‘apply himself’. It didn’t mean Riggs was moron though. He was a quick study when he wanted to learn something and he had a lot of patience to learn when something interested him. In fact, he taught himself guitar, origami and a bit of ASL –  from Homeless Bob of all people! As a child, Riggs would often have crying fits at school. For years, kids teased him with the words ‘where’s my mommy’, the words he’d often say before bursting into tears. As a teen, he’d get into fights. (And tell people their mommy was in his bed when they’d remind him of his cries in grade school.) The older he got, the less he cared and the quieter he became. People forgot eventually, and if they didn’t, he didn’t care enough to give them a reaction anymore. College is out of the question for Riggs for many reasons. Among them, his grades and that his uncle always expected him to work for his construction crew straight of high school. Though if he attended, he imagined he wouldn’t do great there either.

ASPIRATIONS: If you asked Riggs, he’d tell you dreams aren’t meant for people like him. You learned not to have any growing up in a place like Lockhorn County. Though deep in his heart, Riggs hoped to one day make a living as a musician. He didn’t care about playing stadiums or having crowds of girls scream his name. In his mind, a steady gig at some bar every evening 6 nights a week would be be enough. He just wanted to pluck the strings of his guitar and make people feel something with the sounds he created and the words he decided to share.

RIVALRY: Riggs cared little about where he was from. He cared even less about the rivalry between the two towns. No matter how you looked at it, they were both small shitholes in the middle of nowhere. Though he had to admit: he got a certain pleasure from riling up people who were deeply invested in the rivalry. It was his favorite pastime and what side he was on changed depending on who he was talking to. If a Prosperite hated Hazzard, then he’d say he loved the garbage fire excuse of a town with every part of him. If a Hazzardian hated Prosper, he’d claim it was the only redeemable thing about Lockhorn County and the entire state of West Virginia. All jokes aside, between both towns, he favored Hazzard just a little more. The people there were less pretentious even if they were idiots all the same.

#dphq:intro #about / riggs. #did i proofread this? no <3

[dreamelies]

Happy Pride Month, fellow gays! Here are some Brühl characters LGBTQ+ headcanons

Warning: nsfw mentions, internalized biphobia, a little sad at the Niki part but picks up, brief mention of binding that’s likely unsafe,

Note: Yes, all of this is me projecting. Let’s go

Helmut Zemo (he/they)

-Had affairs with women and men before meeting the first love of his life, his wife.

-His sexuality is not really something that haunts him or that he represses. If asked, he’ll mention it, if not, he doesn’t see a reason to, but he’s not embarrassed at all.

-After the destruction of Sokovia, the trauma he went through, and considering his power and influence, he doesn’t really see a point in wasting his mental energy keeping such a secret.

-“Sokovians are not… so picky in their choice of lovers. I believe men must not limit their wide scope of available experiences and betray or shy away from their desires only to conform to what is wrongfully deemed ‘natural’, particularly in your puritan american lense. We are too used to seeing polar opposites in the attraction models of western societies. I merely find beauty in the amalgamation of both sides. Now, please, hand me that cup of tea.”

-Most people either assume it or don’t know it, he’s never been one to boast about his former encounters (of any gender)

-They’re a ”I fall in love with a mind, not a gender” type of bisexual

Niki Lauda (he/him)

-He always felt that there was something different about him, but he just thought he was a weird person. A serious person.

-He probably didn’t even realize he liked men until he met a man he hated so much, he wanted to fuck him.

-Even then, he rationalized it as a need to be “the stronger male”, whatever that meant.

-When he finally came to terms with it, though, he didn’t sweat it as much as he thought he would. He just needed to keep it a secret.

-Yes, he didn’t usually care about what people thought of him, however, it was the 70s and he was a racecar driver. He was sure it would affect his career.

-“In your job they respect you but I go out there and have to prove that I am a man. My career, my life, my fame, I have them because I am man enough  to do everything I do... you hear? If I go out there, and it is known, what will they think of my rivalry with Hunt? I cannot do it. Not now. Nicht jetzt”

-Explores his bisexuality mostly through sex, because of a fear of falling in love with a man (internalized biphobia)

-After his crash and after James dies, he thinks he’s wasted his life hiding such a big part of himself. That’s one of his few regrets.

-”Even if they had wanted me dead, I should have said it”

-After his divorce, he meets a man and they start writing letters to each other. Sure, he’s old, but “why not? i’ll give it a shot”

-”This is too gay, even for me” type of bisexual

Alex Kerner (they/he)

-The reason they’re so good lying to their mother, is because they spent the first years of their life doing so. But, when they became a teenager, they couldn’t really hide it anymore, so they told Ariane first.

-When he came out to his mom she didn’t really understand but, out of respect, started calling him by his chosen name, Alex, and referring to them as “Mein Kind” (my child).

-When she really got it was when she found him binding. After explaining what they were doing, she simply asked “Does it hurt?” “Ja” “And you still do it?” “Ja” “Oh, my son”. She held Alex, as both teared up. That was the first time she called them her son, and the first time she saw them as one. In between her motherly top of the head kisses and hugs and tears, she kept saying “Mein Alex, mein lieber Sohn.” (My Alex, my dear son).

-”Ariane, bring me my scissors, we’re giving Alex a haircut” It was a disaster, his mother had cropped out a picture as a reference. Not out of a fashion magazine, or something that wasn’t 20 years out of date, but a soviet poster depicting a man holding a book while leading the workers. She got a hold of the scissors and started cutting. Ariane teased him for days, but he was happy. He was finally happy.

-”3 monster energys in a row” type of transmasc

Andrea (they/them)

-they/them are their primary pronouns because they think it would be hard to keep track, due to their gender fluidity

-they love music because when they play, the world goes away and they get lost in the sound as it becomes their new body. a body with no bounds or signifiers, just an ethereal representation of melodious beauty.

-the water is important to them because it is... fuid. It changes, it flows, it goes in many different directions. 

-”the inherent eroticism of the sea” type of non-binary

-They don’t see who they are as a bad thing, nor keep it a secret. They’re too joyful about the world. which, of course, includes themself. They don’t have the language to explain who they are, but they know. They know, and they celebrate themself. They have pride.

#daniel brühl #niki lauda #rush 2013 #ladies in lavender #andrea #helmut zemo #baron zemo #marvel #mcu #good bye lenin #alex kerner #happy pride month gays #this is my gift #as a typically masc enby and bisexual #bisexual pride #trans pride #non binary pride #genderfluid #headcanons #bisexual zemo #LGBTQ+ #pride month #daniel bruhl