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suituuup · 3 years

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pieces - chapter five

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn't expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse)

ao3 link

As the rest of the day ticked by, Beca kept replaying the events at Sarah’s coffee shop over and over, unable to pinpoint what she could have said to make Chloe bolt like that. She managed to focus on her tasks at hand over the afternoon and headed home around 6, groaning as soon as she stepped inside when she remembered she had promised Sarah to cook her dinner.

She pondered on canceling for half a minute because all she felt like doing was taking a long shower and eating pizza in bed, but she already felt guilty about a lot of things these past couple of days.

So she took a quick shower instead and put on some comfy jeans and a plaid shirt, tossing her blow-dried hair in a messy bun atop her head. With one of her favorite blues records playing throughout her home, Beca set to work to make creamy salmon pasta with spinach, nursing a much-needed glass of wine as she cooked.

“Babe?”

“In the kitchen,” Beca called out over the music, lowering the heat on the boiling water and dropping a handful of spaghetti in. She smiled as Sarah brushed a kiss to her cheek. “Hey.”

“Hello you,” Sarah murmured, squeezing her hip as she walked past her to set a bottle of wine on the counter. “Smells delicious.”

“Hopefully it tastes good, too.” Not that Beca was worried; she had been making this dish for a few years. “Wine?”

Sarah hopped onto the counter next, humming. “Yes, please.”

Beca opened the fridge and took the bottle out, reaching on the tip of her toes (shhh) for a glass in the cabinet over her head. She poured some wine in and handed it to Sarah. “Sorry I disappeared earlier.”

After Chloe had left, Beca wasn’t in the mood to eat or finish her coffee, leaving a $20 on the table on her way out.

“Was that the friend you told me about yesterday?”

Beca puffed out a sigh. “Yeah. She’s…” It’s complicated, Beca was about to say, but she figured she owed Sarah some details after what happened at her workplace. “She’s in a bad place. And I wanna help her, but she doesn’t seem to want any help. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Sarah covered Beca’s hand with her own, the pad of her thumb stroking her skin back and forth. “Has it been a long time since you last saw each other?”

“Over six years. We fell out of touch about five years ago. Well, she cut us all out of her life nearly overnight.”

Sarah tilted her head to the side. “Us?”

“The Bellas, from college. Chloe and I were co-captains.” Beca swallowed around the lump forming in her throat as a wave of nostalgia hit her with full force. “She just… she was my best friend.”

“I’m sorry, baby. Maybe give her some time and she’ll come around?”

Beca doubted that, but she nodded anyway. “Yeah, maybe.” She shook her head, squeezing Sarah’s hand as she mustered a smile. “Enough about me. How was your day?”

As the next week ticked by, Beca started to lose hope. In true Beca Mitchell fashion, she threw herself into work to avoid dealing with her emotions, staying at the office until midnight most days.

A knock on her open-door one night made her jolt. She had lost herself in the view and her own thoughts, unaware someone was still at the office.

Beca spun her chair around to face the door, finding Luke in the doorway. “Why are you here so late?”

“I could ask you the same thing,” Luke pointed out, inviting himself in. He set a sheet of paper in front of Beca, then plopped down in the seat on the other side of her desk. “This is incredible. You’ve got to record it.”

Beca glanced down at her own handwriting, heavily regretting showing Luke that song she wrote a few days ago. “I don’t know, man.”

“What?” Luke asked, incredulous. “Becky, you haven’t been able to write a lyric for the past three years and now that you’ve got a platinum record worthy song, you don’t want to use it?”

Beca nibbled on the inside of her cheek. “It feels too personal, I’m not sure I feel like sharing it with the world.” She glared at him next. “And stop calling me Becky, this is getting old.”

“I’m serious, this might be your best work yet,” Luke insisted. “Think about it?”

“I will. Now get out of my office,” Beca muttered.

“You got it, Becky,” Luke teased, easily catching the stress ball Beca tossed at his head, chuckling at her poor attempt. “You should go home and get some sleep.”

“Yeah. Night.”

“Goodnight.”

It turned out Sarah had been right.

When Beca wasn’t expecting it anymore, Chloe called. And she sounded like Chloe. Hope flared within her once more, but she tried not to let it engulf her whole being. While Chloe reaching out was an enormous step, Beca threaded carefully, knowing a lot could happen in five days.

She wished she had been wrong, but as it pushed 1 pm that Thursday afternoon, it was pretty clear Chloe wouldn’t show. Beca didn’t have her phone number or any other way to contact her. Her heart felt heavy as she headed back to BMLJ for her meeting with Jesse regarding his movie score, and her head was too full of thoughts to completely focus on work.

“Earth to Beca.”

Beca hummed, snapping out of her daze. Jesse was staring at her in a mix of concern and curiosity. “Sorry.”

“Do you wanna do this another time?”

“No, no,” Beca insisted, straightening up. “I’m okay.” She hated how well Jesse knew her, and heaved a sigh when he gave her that look. “It’s Chloe.”

“Chloe Beale?” Jesse asked. “She’s in New York?”

“Yeah. I found her a couple of weeks ago. She’s a stripper at some hyped club in Times Square.”

“Holy shit, seriously?”

Beca proceeded to tell him everything over the next ten minutes, Jesse hanging onto every word. “Am I stupid? Trying so hard to help someone who clearly doesn’t want to be helped?”

“No, you’re not stupid. You’re a softie under that tough exterior and you care deeply about the people you love. Especially Chloe. I was in the front row, remember?”

Beca grimaced, some of that decade-old guilt surfacing. “Dude…”

“It’s fine. I’m definitely over all of that, but we both know Chloe is too important for you to just give up. And from how you described her, and that phone call? It sounds like she still cares, but she lost herself along the way and is now in so deep she has trouble coming back on her own. Maybe she just needs to hear that asking for help isn’t giving up, but rather refusing to give up.”

Those words echoed deep within Beca, and she found herself nodding, filled with newfound energy to fight for this. “I need to go by the club. Tonight. Her boss might kick me out if I show up inside, but maybe I can wait by the back door?”

“I’ll come with you.”

“You don’t have to, man. It might be hours before we see her.”

“That guy sounds creepy, you shouldn’t go on your own.”

Beca sighed. “Okay, fine. I’ll pick you up around ten.”

Beca felt like they were on a stake-out as they waited in her car hours later, parked across the back alley of the club. Winter had definitely settled in in NYC and waiting in the cold for hours in freezing temperatures didn’t seem like a great plan.

She texted back and forth with Aubrey, who once more offered to come down, but Beca was concerned Chloe might think they were ambushing her.

It was pushing midnight by the time a familiar figure stepped out of the building through the side door. Chloe was on her own.

Beca slapped Jesse’s arm to wake him up. “She’s here.”

They both stepped out of the car and crossed the street when it was clear, Beca telling Jesse to wait by the corner as she tentatively approached Chloe, slipping her gloved hands inside the pockets of her dark grey wool trench coat.

She was smoking a cigarette, clad in her glitter dress under an open fleece jacket. Her gaze flickered to Beca when she spotted her, her posture turning rigid. “What are you doing here?”

There was no bite to her tone but soft curiosity, which reassured Beca further.

“Can we talk?”

Chloe glanced over her shoulder towards the door as she nibbled on her lower lip. “Five minutes, then I have to go back inside.”

She met Beca on the other side of the alley, the orange glow of the lamp post over their heads allowing Beca to trace her features. “You didn’t show earlier.”

Chloe dragged on her cigarette. “I changed my mind.”

“Is that the truth or did someone tell you not to?” She wasn’t dumb; after meeting Chloe’s boss and knowing she was his favorite, she had an inkling the two were somehow involved. And that guy just gave off a crazy possessive vibe. Chloe’s silence was her answer. “Chlo…”

“It’s more complicated than you think,” Chloe murmured, licking her lips.

“Then explain it to me,” she demanded, a desperate edge to her tone.

“Why are you doing this?” Chloe croaked out. “Why won’t you leave me alone?”

Her question took Beca by surprise, and her mouth moved wordlessly for a few beats. “Because I care about you. And you’re not okay, Chlo. I want to help.”

“Beca…”

She thought back on Jesse’s words. “Asking for help is not giving up, Chloe. It’s refusing to give up. And I’m here. You just have to say the word, I’ve got you.”

Chloe shook her head, closing her eyes briefly. “I’m not--” Her eyes were filled with so much sadness when they found Beca’s that Beca had to remind herself to breathe. “I’m not worth it.”

Those four words felt like a knife lodging itself inside Beca’s heart. They stole all the air from her lungs and brought tears to her eyes. “What?” She whispered, her voice nowhere within reach as a huge lump formed in her throat. “That’s not true,” she said, with more forcefulness this time around. “It’s not, you hear me?”

Chloe kept shaking her head. “You don’t know me anymore.”

“Maybe I don’t know this version of you, but I know Chloe Beale is still in there, somewhere. I heard her on the phone the other day, remember? And I can see her now, under all those layers of sadness and lack of self-worth triggered by outside factors. I know her soul hasn’t changed, deep down. It couldn’t have, because you are the purest, kindest human being there is, and that has to still be somewhere in there.”

“I’m broken, Bec,” Chloe cried, her eyes filled to the rim with tears threatening to spill over. “I’m a crack addict. I don’t--” A sob spilled from her throat. “I spend all my money on coke and all I know how to do anymore is show my breasts for money.”

A tear rolled down Beca’s cheek as she reached for Chloe’s hand. “Then I’ll help put you back together. Piece by piece, for however long it takes. Whatever it takes, Chlo. I promise.”

“Chloe?”

Both their heads snapped towards the open door, where Marco stood. His features hardened when he saw Beca there, and Beca released Chloe’s hand, looking over her shoulder towards Jesse, who made his way over.

“What is she doing here?” He spat out as he climbed down the set of steps.

Chloe visibly swallowed, her fear radiating off her. “She’s just leaving.”

“No, I’m not,” Beca stated, loud and clear as her eyes shone fiercely. “I’m not going anywhere without Chloe.”

“You fucking homewrecker,” he muttered, crossing the alley in quick strides. Chloe stepped in front of Beca, as though to shield her with her own body. The anger swirling in his eyes shot a chill down Beca’s spine. “Move, Chloe.”

Chloe shook her head. “You should go back inside, Marco. Please don’t make a scene, it’s not worth it.”

Beca had never understood the expression ‘to see red’ until now; until she witnessed Marco backhanding Chloe with so much force she staggered back with a cry.

Unparalleled rage filled her, the kind of rage she couldn’t control. She stepped forward and raised her fist, clocking him in the face with a mean right hook. She wasn’t sure if the cracking sound came from her knuckle or his nose breaking, the pain in her hand muffled by the adrenaline coursing through her veins.

Marco stumbled a few steps backward with a grunt, his eyes screwed shut as he covered his nose with his hand. But Beca wasn’t done, taking advantage of his dizzy state and stepping forward to knee him in the balls as hard as she could so he couldn’t walk until they were all safely inside the car.

“You guys get into the car,” Jesse ushered them, keeping an eye on Marco as he doubled over in pain.

“Chloe, come on,” Beca coaxed urgently, grabbing her hand and pulling. To her surprise, Chloe didn’t fight her. She seemed absolutely shell-shocked, even once they reached the car, as though her legs were carrying her on their own accord and her brain was miles behind. “Get inside, Chlo.”

Jesse jogged over a few seconds later and slid behind the wheel without Beca having to ask him, and she climbed in the backseat beside Chloe, relief washing over as the doors locked behind them and the car pulled onto the road towards safety.

#bechloe #bechloe fic #chloe beale #beca mitchell #pitch perfect fic

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fantranslatorbychoice · 4 years

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Kakuriyo no Yadomeshi Volume 6 Chapter 2- The Village Hidden in Hyakumemomiji** Part 1

T/N: OK Kakuriyo Fam-fans, how are you all doing? Did the last chapter surprise you? Anyways, I wasn't surprised, Odanna-sama always takes Aoi out on a food trip date (dang it, when's my turn lololol even I am tired of eating just white rice at times T_T) so yeah, I guess autumn fruits sound good.

Anways, I sorta started doing a speed run of this chapter because I got too-excited with the date, and I tried letting out this translation as fast as I can, and hopefully by the end of the chapter you'll see why I wanted to speed run this mofo lololol

As always, I mostly didn’t translate a lot of the names of the ayakashi/youkai, as well as the proper nouns because uhm... They’re basically nouns. It’s like how some translated manga are done. Plus it irks me sometimes when everything just gets transliterated, it kills off the vibe. But that’s just me. Links to references at the end of the post.

Also if you like this translation, you can share the link, reblog, but for pete’s sake DO NOT REPOST ELSEWHERE. I worked hard to finish this thing, it’s not like I just Google-translated this whole sh**..

If you need refreshers on what happened, @kakuriyo-translations already had the previous translations. I’ll place a tiny index in this post somewhere, to make that easy. I’m just contributing to this fandom. Also, as previously mentioned in my other post, the 2 seasons of the anime cover volumes 1-5, so if you need a review just rewatch them all. Volume 6 starts here.

P27 "A date with Odanna-sama, huh..." Yesterday's rice cooking events felt like a daze, and I felt that fairly it hasn't sunk in yet, and waking up early just made me realize it. The lovely chirping of the little birds just annoyingly grated my ears. The distinct skin-chilling coldness of autumn is also piercing my body. Incidentally, I'm also a bit nervous. "It's.... It's not a big deal, it's not unusual that I'm going on a date with Odanna-sama. Yeah." We went to Youto and ate offal hotpot, we ate chicken tempura in Gintengai, and in the port of the Southern lands we ate donburi with pickled toppings... No matter how many times Odanna-sama and I went out, why am I nervous after all this time? This is weird. Could it be that I'm going down with an illness? Firstly, I opened the shutters of the veranda, to breathe in the early morning air... "Aoi! Let's go now!" P28 "What the.. It's early! Odanna-sama you're early!" The busy bee that uneasily goes here and there and everywhere and has no free time Odanna-sama has already come here. It seemed that he cut across the inner garden towards the veranda. If so, he must have beavered to get here with incredible flexibility. But I'm still wearing my pajamas! "Speaking of, Odanna-sama.. Are you going out looking like that?" Odanna-sama changed his appearance into a younger one, like what he looked liked before, as a fish monger, and his kimono wasn't spectacular, he just looked like a commoner. "That was fast. The face I usually have in Tenjin-ya is too recognizable. What's more, Aoi is the only one that found me out, now this date isn't fun anymore." "I... I'm sure..." Although, if it's through this appearance I felt a bit nervous too. At any rate, this handsome Odanna-sama may be handsome, but the nobleman aura isn't here. Even Orio-ya's Young Mistress Nene only said that he looked reliable-ish. "But Odanna-sama, in spite of this, even this is way too early for Ayakashi! I haven't even prepared anything yet." "I'll wait for you here while you get ready." "You're not busy? Odanna-sama has some free time?" P29 "It's because it's been a very long time since I had a whole day free. Even though Byakuya has been nagging me to get some break already, I just feel that I mustn't. I may have worked too much during the matter with Orio-ya. That dude Raijuu. It seemed that he used some people from the capitol. One way or another, it smells like that all over." "Smells like that.. All over?" What does that mean? The matter in Orio-ya, the circumstance that accompanied the Southern lands, the ceremony that no one spoke of and secretly kept in the back-burner. The sea that lies in between Tokoyo and Kakuriyo wherein every 100 years an Ayakashi called Umibouzu arrives, a peculiar Ayakashi that is received and welcomed. In that ceremony, Raijuu made a disturbance and I got hindered, but borrowing everyone's strength and cooking the Sea Jewel Appetizers while bearing all that, we were able to entertain and serve the Umibouzu. I know that Odanna-sama worked hard for me, but there were many things that I don't know, could there be more things hidden? That Raijuu, I wonder if he's doing anything else right now? "Hey, Aoi, don't go absent-mindedly prepare when getting ready. Would you want to go out in your sleepwear?" When he said that, him egging me on, I went inside the room to prep up... "No, but what should I wear?" In front of me is the kimono that Odanna-sama gave me, but it's too elegant and it won't fit fruit picking. P30 There's also the blue kimono that I used back in Orio-ya, but it's too summery. "Hm?" I opened the wooden cabinet, and I became aware that there was a kimono that I haven't seen before. It was solidly very autumn, a deep red kimono, and a soft mustard yellow obi. It was laid on top of it. It looks of good quality, but it looks light and simple to wear, it's going to be easy to move in it. "Please use this on your date with Odanna-sama. Matsu, Take, Ume." The letter on it... It's the three Nopperabou sisters usual business! "I'm thankful but.. why is there a feeling of eagerness?" I closed the sliding doors of the veranda and changed clothes. From beyond the sliding doors's side, I could hear Odanna-sama chatting with the palm-top Kappa Chibi, who just came back from taking a morning bath. "Ah.. Ogre-shaaan is heeeere" "Isn't taking a bath in autumn chilly, Chibi?" "Ish not really that coooold. In Utsushiyo, the raging wavesh were mush coldeeeer. Ish eashier in heeere." "Aren't you strong... That can only be expected from Aoi's disciple..." "Yeahhh but my beak ishhh chattering... Ish very very coooold..." P31 "Come here. The ogre-fire will warm you up." It seemed that the seemingly calm and composed but eventually got cold Chibi was warmed up by Odanna-sama's ogre-fire. Somewhat somehow, after changing clothes I attached the flower bud kanzashi in my hair. "The petals have opened up considerably now..." I talked to the petals. Gah, I don't know if talking to the petals is a good thing... My impatience doesn't wane, with regards to the flower has blooming. I wanted to see the flowers open up into a round wheel, but the petals will scatter if it does. "Aoi-shaaaan! I am hungryyyy..." Chibi flungs the sliding door open and enters the room. And speaking of, I haven't made breakfast yet. "Say, Odanna-sama, you want to eat breakfast? We have a lot of cold rice left, we can make some onigiri. We can eat while we're walking." "Aoi's hand-rolled meals? Yes, that sounds good." I have just finished changing clothes, but I already wore my apron and went to the kitchen and made onigiri. I mixed the plum and Hijiki seaweed into the onigiri, and packed a lot of the salmon flakes into the onigiri wrapped in nori. There were also eggs left, so I made them into rolled omelette. P32 There's no dashi, no onions, just plain omelette. I added salt and sugar, and some mayonnaise as a faint flavoring. I cut cucumbers and pickled daikon and skewered them with toothpicks, and added these to the sides. The simple onigiri bento box is now done. I wanted to make some with more variety, but I can't make Odanna-sama wait. Today we're going with "simple is best." I stuffed everything in a box, wrapped it in cloth and brought it out with me. "I'm sorry Odanna-sama. Did you wait long?" Odanna-sama was lying down in the veranda and smoking his pipe, while listening to Chibi's stories about playing in the pond. It was about a crawfish, then about a pond skater. Whatever it was about, it's fine. "Nooo, it's not bad to wait for the new wife as she readies herself. Teehee." "Then what are you so happy about?" Odanna-sama stood up, said "Alright, let's go!" and held out his hand. I bewilderedly took his hand, and got supported as I wore my geta sandals. Along with the kimono I'm still not used to, I felt anxious of tumbling down. "Ahhh... Aoi-shaaan and Ogre-shaaaan, where are you goiiiiing? Take me along tooooo." "Well, that sounded miserly..." Even though he was always playing alone, Chibi always wants to be taken along. P33 "When you want to come with, you can come, Chibi. You'll be eating your favorite grapes." "Grapeshhh..." Chibi jumped from the veranda and onto my back. I realized that he was climbing my back as he went "Heave, ho, heave ho." "Say, Odanna-sama, are we going in the airship again?" "Ah, yes. But this time, we're not boarding one with the Tenjin-ya's crest because we'll be hiding, so we'll use the smaller ships. This time the fruit orchard Hyakumeyama, which lies in the connecting lands of the north and northeast will be our destination. The place has farms and is quiet, and you can go pick and harvest fruits at ease and in all diligence." In a bit as we went off, Odanna-sama brought me to the place where the ship was set in anchor. In that place, the Young Master Ginji-san and the Chief Accountant Byakuya-san were there, and it seems that they were going to see us off. Byakuya is a Hakutaku Ayakashi, and is Tenjin-ya's REAL Second Leader. On one hand where he's holding a fan, looked like he was tapping it on the other hand, and he seems to be in a bad mood. "Odanna-sama, don't go too far for your rest and relaxation at nightfall, it's quite perilous. That dummy Raijuu seems to be somehow releasing his stench from the capitol. Do you understand?" "Byakuya, don't be nervous. I know and I'm already serious about it." "If so, then that's nice. You too, Aoi-kun." P34 "Y.. Yes!" I unconsciously replied to Byakuya when he called my name, and it flew out of my head. "Yugao's income this month is very good, and for that I salute you. Nonetheless, you must not lose focus, try to learn to understand that when you go out, then come back here. Keep in mind that, and while at it, don't trouble Odanna-sama." "Y.. Yes!" I unconsciously bowed. It's better to listen to Byakuya-san's words. "Hey hey Byakuya. It's a rare rest and relaxation day. Don't make Aoi think about work." "Oh, don't worry Odanna-sama. I was just telling her what I intend to do." "Oh, I see." Odanna-sama looked at the clear autumn sky. "Aoi-san, be careful outside, whatever you will be doing. Odanna-sama, leave Tenjin-ya's care to me in your stead." Ginji-san was grinning and side-smiling. He seems to be his usual and formal self. "Ginji, please take care of business. Byakuya, if there's anything contact me." "Yes, I know, Odanna-sama." P35 Ginji-san and Byakuya-san, the two higher-ups in the management team bowed their heads deeply, and as we boarded the airships they sent us off. As the airship was rising into the clear sky, we bathed in the afternoon sunlight on the ship's wooden deck. The sunlight was warm, despite the cold breeze. It was a really good atmosphere. "Ahhh. Odanna-sama, the weather's good. It's great that it's clear." "Yes. That said, let's eat breakfast, Aoi." "That was hasty, Odanna-sama..." Sitting on the ship's deck's benches, we immediately opened the onigiri bento boxes. While in that great mood, the arranged onigiri tastes good. This was yesterday's scattered rice, and yet adding salt in this onigiri changed its taste. More than anything, eating this outside was a good idea. "The omelette is also good. It's simple, but it suits the onigiri." "You think so? A lot of various things are always added and used, but this time I only added a few seasonings. Because the cassowary's egg is wonderful, the onigiri which has a lot of stuff is already good. But because I added mayonnaise to the egg as a subtle flavor, just adding salt makes it mellow, doesn't it?" I was talking about a lot of things, and Odanna-sama was just enjoying his food and smiling. "Teehee. Surely it's because it's hand made by Aoi. It's warm and feels like home." That Odanna-sama that day, he was very friendly and easy to talk to. P36 That person's impression has definitely changed. No, he did not change, he was probably like that as an ogre since the very beginning. I only noticed that he was such, whenever we met, and talked about heavy things. "But really, I thought that it was better if I made more in variety..." Also, instantly,because the opportunities are rare, I thought that if I'm going to do it, I should concentrate on making various bento kinds. Basically, for Odanna-sama I haven't made any food by hand. No, when it comes to those times, I have made more for the other employees than for Odanna-sama. "Don't worry about it. Just do what you usually cook. In those times, aren't the food that you didn't think about much also taste good? It's because in 10 minutes, they’re already delicious." "The food that I.. didn't think much about?" Probably because lately, the food and drinks that I served were continuously served everyday. Before coming to Kakuriyo, Grandpa and I only cooked for ourselves, home-cooked meals. When I came here, it changed because I served food for the Ayakashi. Even though I felt nervous here and there, my skills improved as I kept doing it, and in that time I was able to learn how to cook freely. Because of that, I was able to feed myself and my family.. "Aoi-shaaan, cucumber..." "Oh, sorry Chibi, here you go.." P37 I handed him over the sliced cucumber and pickles stuck on the toothpicks. Then Chibi held those in both hands, and like in a daze started munching and crunching on them. Even though I was nervous early in the morning, I felt comfortable and carefree right now. The evidences are because of me bringing the onigiri and the bento boxes without thinking much.

"Welcome, Tenjin-ya's Odanna-sama. Yugao's Aoi-dono." The smiling face of the owner who greeted us at the entrance of the fruit orchard looks familiar. Once, previously, we met at Gintengai... Could it be.. It's Rokusuke-san, the Rokurokubi. Even in Yugao, we use the fruits from Rokusuke-san's business Mizumakinouen. "Hello, Rokusuke-san." "Aoi-dono, thank you very much for always patronizing our Mizumakinouen's fruits." "Rokusuke-dono, thank you for taking care of us. I am just a commoner today, because we are doing these in secret. You don't have to be so humble." "I understand, Odanna-sama. Today we're only open for half a day, so I think there will be less visitors. Uhm.. Oh, you can see the momiji autumn leaves on the side of the mountain over there." Rokusuke-san stretched his neck towards the mountain to check, and as he moved towards a tree trunk he showed to us the place. P38 "Alright then, please come this way." We finally went inside the fruit orchard. The first portion of the fruit orchard that we went into, was the grape vineyard. "Woooow!" A canopy above our heads hanging like ivy, these drooping, purple grapes look like drops of water seemingly about to burst. They look so fresh, the colors make them look like jewels. The viney canopy allows the autumn sunlight to pierce through, and the gentle air space is filled with a mysterious life force. "This is awesome, Odanna-sama! The grapes are just so impecable!" "The size of each of these grapes are Kakuriyo's biggest and sweetest, the variety is called Daishisui. Lately, Rokusuke-san says that this seedless variety has been selling very well in the market." "For sure.. In Utsushiyo too, I've seen some seedless grapes, I wonder if the skin in these ones are edible too." "The skin isn't edible. But they're easy to peel. Let's go pick some." "Really, they look like Concord grapes, I was thinking of making some grape tarts, I wonder if they're suitable..." The grapes with seeds are really good when used, but how can these seedless grapes be said to be easier to eat, as well as easier to be used for cooking?** T/N. Yeah, I mean, the seedy ones get easier made into jams due to having more pectin, so I agree with you Aoi, I don't know any other use for seedless grapes other than turning them into raisins. The seedy grapes are, in my opinion tastier, juicer, and have more uses. But that's just my opinion lol P39 The grape's main tree is not that tall, and I could easily have fun gathering them. The farm's assistants gave me scissors, and I started to trim the bunches off the trees. These were profoundly heavy, and I was having so much fun gathering them. Store-bought grapes had nothing on these ones. After picking a lot of grapes, I couldn't resist eating one. I was shocked. "Uwahhh! It's very sweet! Odanna-sama, the grapes are very sweet, they're so delicious!" "You tried them right away?" Immediately after I ate one, the fruit's peel was a tad hard-textured, but the grape just burst in my mouth and the juice's rich taste surprised me, it wasn't that sour but the sweetness levels were high. These grapes were picked at ambient temperature, but the taste and texture were still straight up enjoyable. This is a really good product. "Aoi-shaaaan, I want to slurp some grapesh tooooo." "OK, I'll get it." Chibi got hold of a bunch of grapes and hung on one. He went with a grape, and deftly using his beak started peeling off one portion of it, before slurping up and sucking on the juice and munching on it. Chibi holding onto a grape is somehow cute. P40 "Next up are apples. We're going to go buy some to bring home as give-aways for everyone back in Tenjin-ya." "Apples, huh. There are many preservation methods for them, they store up for long time, and many varieties of recipes can be made with them. I want to buy lots for myself too." Hauling the baskets that Rokusuke-san entrusted to us, we went further away to pick some apples. The apple orchards were further inside the premises, away from the grape orchards. The trees were a bit taller than Odanna-sama. All around the trees’ silhouettes, these bore a lot of fruits. "Uwah, they're really very red!" Those apples look so lovely and so tasty. The red color was so deep, and I love the smooth, round shape. Those hanging on the tree look so gorgeous, but I couldn't help but be very interested as to how these will taste. I trimmed one off with scissors, scrubbed the freshy-picked apple's skin and wiped it, and bit into it with haste. While chewing it, the juice's sweetness and sourness spread across my mouth as well as it's strong fragrance. The fruit was crisp and made crunching sounds, as the liquid lightly pulls away. Truly, this were what's called apples. "Are they sweet, Aoi?" "Yes! The insides are sweet, there's hints of sourness, but the flavor is very deep. For sure, this are of Mizumakinouen's best quality. Oh, Odanna-sama, those apples look like they're of a different variety, let's go there, let's go over there!" P41 "Calm down, Aoi..." Odanna-sama accompanied me going here and there. There were so many varieties of apples in the orchard, each one's taste and sweetness were a bit different, and we ended up trying everything. "Hey look, Odanna-sama. Up there on the mountain a bit, there are also more apple trees!" I discovered that on that different place, the were other growing apple trees. Just about all of the trees in the orchard were basically grown in a detached and open portion of a plateau, but when the adjoined mountain is climbed up a little, trees with seemingly fresh apples can be seen. The pink mixed with the saturated red color makes those apples shine brightly. "That's a variety of mountain apples." "Is that different from normal apples?" "Mountain apples are a bit more sour, and the fruits are hard. Up until now, those fruits are entirely inedible, but just sometime ago, Mizumakinouen has started to sell liquor made out of mountain apples. It's still an unknown product but previously, Rokusuke-san brought a bottle to Tenjin-ya, and we tasted some out yesterday. Ginji and I tried it out as we welcomed some guests." "Speaking of that, both of you were tipsy yesterday..." P42 "It's not exactly that much, but it's easy to get drunk." "Whh-at?" Mountain apple liquor. I'm interested but... I have not so good memories about liquors. Sometime ago, I had a very bad experience with the Tengu's secret sake. That has traumatized me until now, and I have never drank and liquor from then on. "Ahaha, your face stiffened. For sure, after drinking that liquor and getting drunk, you'll feel it for two days after drinking, and the next day when you wake up your mood will be better.. On the night before this rest day I drank just one cup, and I felt like my health got better. Mizumakinouen's brand-new product is something that you'll buy again and again." "Odanna-sama, you don't just merely "drink and try it out." "Ginji also likes it, I'll buy some for him as a souvenir." Just saying that, Odanna-sama just floods with elegance. I went up to where the mountain apples were, just to check. The fruits were larger than I thought. I tried biting on it, it was more sour than sweet, and the flesh was harder. "This isn't just for liquors, this can also be used for jams too." When this is boiled down with sugar, the sourness won't easily disappear, and that's a good thing. Even though the small basket on my back was already full, I tossed the mountain apples into the large basket on Odanna-sama's back. P43 Nevertheless... "Odanna-sama, the commoner's look you have now, you really come off as a plebeian. You really look good with that apple basket, you know." "You're starting to tell me that about me looking like a commoner, Aoi?" Even though I said, that, Odanna-sama seems to be ecstatic. "Let's leave this orchard in a bit. Our baskets are already full." "Ehhh? Let's stay for ten more minutes..." In a corner of the fruit orchard, it seems like there's a small hut that has a fire and is making some jam, and Odanna-sama and I started heading over there. Inside Odanna-sama's basket, in front of me, Chibi was scampering about and I could see Chibi playing with some apples. While inside the large pile of apples, he seems to be playing inside a maze. "Chibi, don't play with the apples too much." "OK, I geeet it. I'm a very shmart Ayakashiiiiii, I won't treat theeeshe appleshhh harshhhlyyyy." However, while Chibi was squirming about, an apple rolled and fell off the basket. "Awww, I made one faaallll ouuuuuut." Chibi popped his face out of the basket, and seemingly unashamed of his wreckless behavior stared at the falling apple, while I chased the apple in a panic. P44 That red apple, I was going to use that for jam. I don't want to waste even one! "What the..." The apple instantly vanished. I didn't notice that there was a large hole hidden by the grass, in front of the place where the apple rolled off to. My geta got stuck and snagged back by a tree root, and I fell head-first into the hole were the apple fell off before! "Gyaaaaahhhhhh---" "Aoi?!!" The apples on my back all rolled down and got scattered. This emergency seemed comical but without a doubt is devastating. Everywhere I bumped into hurts. "Aoi-- Aoi--!" "Ohhhh daaarn, thisshh ishhh baaaaad..." As Odanna-sama was calling my name out, it started to sound farther and farther away because of Chibi's insensitive words. Roll.. Roll.. All of the apples loaded in my back started rolling out easily like a conveyor belt as I looked on. P45 "Owwww" On the place where I landed, I was surrounded by a precipice inside the mountain, and all around was a wide place that was full of fluffy fallen leaves. The top of the hole was high, and above the gaps in between the trees, I could only see a bit of the sky. I went and looked around my surroundings, but I couldn't find the hole that I fell from. "Ohh, a red dragonfly!" But in that place, in all of that stillness, there were momiji, fallen autumn leaves. There was a small spring, where the fallen leaves were floating and coloring the water with. Countless red dragonflies were darting over the spring. Red, orange, brown, yellow. Heavily piled and packed and stacked on top of one another in many layers, the fallen leaves superbly look like a carpet. It looked somewhat like a lovely, autumn forest. Looking at these momiji, I consciously remembered an old memory related to grandpa. "Wai.... Odanna-sama... Odanna-sama, ODANNA-SAMA!!!" This is not a time to be a dummy. I loudly called for Odanna-sama, but my voice only echoes and rebounds back into the precipice's walls. It seemed that Odanna-sama is already far away. "Don't tell me.. I've gotten lost in the fruit orchard..." No matter how frequently I got lost in Kakuriyo, I always didn't feel like I was in distress, didn't I...? P46 "Gah, I shouldn't think too much of this..." For the time being, I'll just wait for help to arrive, while I pick up all of the scattered apples around me. All of the apples were fine. Even if some got bruised, there's no problem with eating them. But then that time, I felt like there were scratching sounds behind me, and I was shocked when I turned my head around. "Wh... Who are you?" From inside the forest, with masks that were as red as apples, and bodies each covered in a straw raincoat, a crowd appeared. They surrounded me, and it seemed like they're coming in from everywhere. "It's a human... A human girl.." Whispering in hushed voices, they signalled each other through the eye holes in their masks. Because the wall of the precipice was behind me, I couldn't move at all. "Wh..What is this.. Wait a minute..." The dubious beings started moving smoothly towards me. Could it be that, they're going to feed on me? But within the populace wearing a straw raincoat, a strange branch was pulled out, and they lighted it up, and towards me wafted a smoke that smelled bittersweet, it was an unfamiliar smell. P47 In a moment before I realized it, I have lost consciousness.

I had a dream. It was an old memory, with momiji and apples. In reality, back then I went with grandpa once, to his old residence. I was still an lementary school student then, and for sure it was autumn. I was sure that grandpa visited the Buddhist altar of his deceased mother, we went to this large residence in the outskirts of Tokyo, and I accompanied him. It has been a long time since he visited their family home, and he probably felt a lot of nostalgia. That home reminded me particularly of autumn season, and it seemed that grandpa had so much deep-seated emotions. "Ah, I see.. When autumn comes, this home seemingly turns into an AKIAKANE." "Grandpa, what's an akiakane?" "That's a red dragonfly, Aoi." It seemed like grandpa cut himself off from whoever was living in that home. He particularly didn't mention the place he came from, and it seems that through this I couldn't get to know him better. After a very long time, for such a reason he had no choice but to meet with his mother. P48 However, if I was going to meet my great-grandma, I couldn't instantly do it when she was still alive. Even when that person died, grandpa didn't come to her funeral, and even after that he couldn't bring it upon himself to visit even secretly. The house that we went to was the first and last time that I did, but to be honest, from how I remembered it, it was a really large residence.** Grandpa was such a monk... "I apologize, I had no way to find out, you were already at the verge of death. As expected, the role of head of the household was difficult..." "Nay, mother's death.. Seemed to be from my curse. I am truly sorry about that. You were killed by someone who didn't want to die... A strong person..." "Being someone like the lady of the house, even at your time of death, Shirou made you worry. Let us hurry now to her Buddhist shrine**." A man in the prime of his life, grandpa brought himself into the house's inner room, and in front of us we saw an imposing Buddhist shrine. A curse...? Grandpa's words were spoken in a low and hushed voice, and that time I thought that what I was continuously listening to was mysterious. But then I remembered something, it seemed that there was a deep meaning to it. T/N: At this point, it's easy to see why Shirou was living as a reckless man, he was probably raised in a stiff household, mostly because he was a member of the main family, with his mother as the house head. So he had to conduct his manners most of the time, probably. He loosened up when he got a chance to get away from the house. He was also probably bailed out a lot, which is why he at times becomes happy-go-lucky, or leaves others to clean up his messes. Think of a chaebol's son (son of a rich person lol) being bailed out a lot, and ends up not being able to clean up his messes. Buddhist shrines are tiny cabinet-like altars that contain the photo of the deceased, and they're usually opened up on death anniversaries or new years or whenever there's a day of the dead celebration something, like hungry ghost fest or something. Offerings can be placed in front of the cabinet, along with candles and incense sticks. Again, as this implies that Shirou came from a prominent family, his mother's shrine altar is probably huge AF. P49 "Aoi, come meet your great-grandmother. Mother, this is my granddaughter, Aoi." In front of the large Buddhist shrine, I was introduced to the dead. So many apples with a lovely color were offered, and as a child that left a strong impression on me. The incense stick's fragrance, within the swaying smoke rising up... The red color that was projected looked lovely. I didn't understand how to pay respects to someone that I didn't know. But the blurred vision of grandpa's side profile, up until now I didn't see it, it was a person who was suffering in loneliness... I could only remember it now. "Aoi, wait here for a bit..." After that, grandpa talked to two of his male relatives, and on the tatami floor of the residence, I waited for him. There was a garden connected to the veranda, and red dragonflies were flying in and out, dartingly through the window. I wondered why I was there alone...As I was sitting on the veranda, looking at the evening sky's madder red color, I started to ponder. Everywhere I go my heart always feels wrenched as I always felt that I was an outsider, but staying here in this residence, it didn't feel bad. It's easy for this old house to draw in Ayakashi, but I couldn't feel anything evil. Being guarded somehow, I could remember that place had a sense of calm and peace. P50 I didn't think that there would be anyone visiting or encroaching the confines of that place. "Are you.. A human?" Suddenly, there was someone at the gate. Before I realized it, a young boy was standing beside me. The boy seemed to have orange hair**, I thought that he was a humanoid Ayakashi, and my body stiffened. He's not a human-ish Ayakashi... At best, he is a lower-grade elementary school student. A child. But as I stared at the child in front of me, looking deeper at his essence, his eyes were not those of a child's. "I'm... A human too." I answered with a low voice, and as that child's face remained the same, he nodded over a serving tray that he was carrying. Sliced apples were arranged on a glass plate, and there was a glass of milk on the tray too. "Mommy told me to bring these to you." I humbly took these, and the kid frettedly ran away as if he was escaping. At that moment, he really did acted somewhat like a child. While running, what seemed like a mother's scolding voice called out "Akane, stop running!" T/N: It's not an ayakashi, it's zappy boi Zenitsu wahahaha I have zero regrets and yeah I know Zappy boi had brown hair before getting struck by lightning. But seriously, it seemed that based on the stuff here, Shirou's family can see Ayakashi, as Zappy boi Akane and Aoi can see them, like he did. Honestly, the color-name puns are just too much lololol P51 That kid, his name was Akane. It was the sky's color, and was the name of the red dragonflies. The skin of the sliced apples were made into bunnies** and they looked cute, and I could feel the love of the mother living in that house. Could the child also have eaten this everyday, I wonder. Using the fork beside the apples, I stuck this on the apples and ate them from behind. "Oh, they're sweet." Also, they were cold. These were cooled inside the refrigerator, and the coldness felt good on my throat. Somehow, while drinking the milk and eating the apples, it became a memory I longed for. A child. Yes, a child who had no idea how autumn feels like. I couldn't have it anymore. But whenever I see apples and momiji, I remember that meeting that only happened once.

Boom, boom..... When I woke up, within that pitch blackness was an old banquet hall inside a grotto. T/N: Bunny apples are fun to make and fun to eat, try them out. I think I saw some in Kaicho wa Maid-sama once, but that was ages ago lol P52 A large alter was built, a while ago, in front of me. All around it were countless food offerings. Countless candle flames were lit, flowers and fruits and a pig's head**, deer horns and other stuff were arranged there as offerings too. "Wh... What is this?" In front of me, the drummers were also dancing, they seem to be holding and continuing a ceremony, and these were the mysterious Ayakashi with monkey masks. "Miko-sama" "You have awakened." They were all whispering in a low voice. Miko-sama? "Uhm... Are you.. worshipping me?" Having no idea what was happening, I asked them in a courageous voice. But the gathered Ayakashi that were wearing a straw raincoat and monkey masks, why did they all went "yes, milady, yes milady" and turned around? "Human girl, you are the Kaku-zaru** village's priestess." "You shall save us from calamity..." These Ayakashi called Kaku-zaru, for a while have been worshipping me. I don't feel anymore danger, but this situation has gone nuts. T/N: They got hold of Inosuke's boar head lolol I still have zero regrets Nihongo fun fact, when forming compound words, the first syllable of the second word gets a tenten, which looks like a quotation mark. For example, the word HIDARIGAWA (left side) is made up of 2 words: hidari=left, and kawa=side, and because the syllable KA becomes GA when you add a tenten, KAWA becomes GAWA. Another example, the word for three thousand, SANZEN, is made up of san=three and sen=thousand, but because SA becomes ZA when you add a tenten, SEN becomes ZEN. Which is why I made it KAKUZARU here, there's no furigana in the text so I just assumed that this rule works. I could have just made it into Kakuriyo Monkey but then where's the fun in that lol. I'll probably put shit like this here, so that by the end of however much chapters my body can upload here, we've all learned some tiny Nihongo bits. I'ma gonna drag you all with me bwahahahahaahaa! P53 "Uhm.. I came from a fruit orchard along a mountain. I would want to go back now..." The monkey masks suddenly stared up. The masks had a strong impact on me, and I unconsciously gulped. This has a different atmosphere, compared to when I'm with the usual Ayakashi I have met. In a way, this unexplored region seemed to house a tribe. "You're a Miko." "No, I'm not a Miko, because I'm just a human." I flatly refused them, but they started to gather as they were whispering. "Miko-sama, with our offerings, we are requesting of you. This is our sacrifice..." "Uhm.. Sacrifice?" After saying that, is seemed that they didn't listen. Nevertheless, when they pulled out a rope I was shocked, they were pulling along a handsome, black-haired guy with a long piece of rope... "What the... They tied up Odanna-sama like a slave!" In front of me, surely without a doubt, they have brought along Tenjin-ya's Odanna-sama, the younger version. That appearance doesn't give off his aura of being Tenjin-ya's master, after all, they don't know who it was. B-b-b-b-but, isn't that disrespectful? If the people in Tenjin-ya saw this they'll bring upon a wrath of a sea of fire! P54 Speaking of Odanna-sama, he was restlessly looking around, and once when he found me on the bluish altar, he smiled at me childishly. As expected from someone so composed. It's better to be cheerful. "Miko-sama, we found this person loitering around outside the village." "Please have your way with this sacrifice. We can boil, then roast, then eat him." No no no, a human girl can't eat Ayakashi! "Then quickly untie him! That person is a distinctly emiment man!" "Yes, milady--" While the Kaku-zaru were being told what to do, they unfastened Odanna-sama's ropes. "Hmmmmph. Could it be that when you saw me tied up, you were surprised?" "You don't have a face that looked surprised. Might you have been enjoying yourself? Speaking of, how did you got captured so easily?" "I was looking for you, and I ended up in the Kaku-zaru's village. I thought it was easier to get caught as an adult in order to get in. As a result, I got here. When I met you here, everything went OK." "So it's OK to meet Odanna-sama here.." When the Kaku-zaru saw Odanna-sama and I, they started to talk in hushed voices. They were an eerie bunch. Why on earth did they bring me here, what do they plan to do? "Oh dear..." P55 Odanna-sama hit his hand on his waist, and it transformed as he dispelled it. Normally, people would be surprised and exclaim "It's Tenjin-ya's master!", but, here, the Kaku-zaru only shook their heads questioningly. What the.. They only kept silent and didn't say anything, so Odanna-sama only cleared his throat with an "ahem". "Aoi, this place is the heart of Hyakumeyama. I knew that inside this mountain, there is a hidden village of the Kaku-zaru, but this is the first time I've taken a visit. At any rate, the Kaku-zaru's village is in the territory of the Northern Lands." "Whaaaa-t. So.. We're already in the Northern Lands?" "Now that you mentioned it, yes. But the North-eastern lands were supposed to have a boundary..." Upon hearing loud drumming sounds again, Odanna-sama stared at the ceremony that the Kaku-zaru were performing in front of the large altar. "These Kaku-zaru were from an old era, wherein they were taken here by a Miko, a human priestess, which is now forbidden. Each time a human girl comes here, she becomes a replacement for the Miko, and she becomes worshipped by them." "So in this case, I was kidnapped to become worshipped here?" "But, well, this curiosity is rather odd. No matter how many human girls they worship, if it's against their will, being taken here feels like a punishment. But for this, I wonder what their probable reasons were for moving and leaving the village..." At the same time, the drumming sounds suddenly stopped. The door of the old tomb opened, and an old Kaku-zaru came in. P56 "The respectable elder... Has come!" That person has the longest straw raincoat in the bunch, and somewhat wears a necklace made out of bones, as well as having a mask of an old sleepy monkey. While walking with a cane, he was supported by a Kaku-zaru who was near the offerings, and sat in front of the altar where I was. "Miko-sama, we are the humble descendants in this village. For today, we beseech you." Everyone went "Yes, milady--", and bowed deeply once again. What the heck is going on.. "Uhm.. Respectable elder? What is all this For a while now, you've been saying stuff about worshipping, why on earth is that?" "Brigands from the far north has come to our village, and has looted and plundered." "Bandits?" Odanna-sama and I looked at each other's faces. He suddenly seemed to remember something instantly, and he placed his hand on his chin as he narrowed his eyes. "Bandits came from the far north.. Could it be that, they're the Ozuma gang?" "Odanna-sama, you know of them?" "Yes. They came from the Great Glacial Mountain Range of the Far North, and I've heard stories that in nearly every mountain here and there they were wreaking havoc and violence. But unexpectedly, you're asking for help from the North-eastern lands connected to the mountain of Hyakumeyama?" Aa a Hachiyo of the North-eastern lands, might he have not noticed of their situation? His facial expression suddenly became grave. P57 "Say, what on earth did the bandits do to this village?" After I tried asking, each of the Kaku-zaru started groaning in low voices. It was a bone-chilling sound and it pierced through my body. "We already have become the Ozuma-gang's minions." "Hm, in what way?" "The Ozuma-gang are bandits composed of about 20 individuals that move around. Each one has a jurisdiction over one mountain, as well as a minion that goes in each of the mountains, and like the other mountains we have become under one group that only keeps on increasing." The respectable elder has started to retell the story emotionally. "The day when those brigands came to this village,they broke through everything and pillaged, they violently wounded our villagers. We have no means or ways to retaliate so we just surrendered, and we became under the control of those thugs. After that, those brigands started to enter this village's stronghold, and every night they celebrated in our banquet hall. They just ate all of the village's food in reckless abandon, drank our liquor dry, and became even more violent when drunk. Half of the food we were saving in this village has already been eaten. At this rate we will not even last until winter." "Oh, I see. To summarize, you have been deeply troubled by it." Because of that, they have explained why they have abducted me, and why they were asking help from the gods. "Miko-sama. Please, we beg of you, save us---" The other Kaku-zaru who were also bowing down and worshipping me, also beseeched and prayed. Even though they show signs of just imitating what they think what a god must do, the surrounding atmosphere of desperation made me want to help them, but regarding that, I am just a normal human girl who has no means to easily resolve the issue. P58 "Respectable elder, have you gotten in touch with the Hachiyo of the North?" From here, Odanna-sama asked the question with a commanding voice. The respectable elder raised his face, stared unblinkingly at Odanna-sama's majestic pose. "Oh my.. You, are you not Tenjin-ya's Master?" "Indeed, I am. Finally, you have taken notice of me." "This is a bit too bad, isn't it, Odanna-sama?" After having his fun hiding, then finally being found out, Odanna-sama's face got a bit bored and sullen. But the respectable elder took off his mask, and bowed his head deeply. His monkey face seemed to have remained the same, but there were deeply-etched wrinkles on it, which definitely showed his very old age. The other Kaku-zaru didn't seem to be fazed with Odanna-sama. This was as otherworldy, remotely and as detached to the outside world as it can get. "Please give us your permission, Odanna-sama!" "Oh, do not worry, it's fine. However, the North's Hachiyo.. Can he not do it?" "Yes. We have not received any help from the North's Hachiyo. That is out of the question right now, as the Hachiyo has turned a blind eye on the arrival and movements of the brigands." P59 "I knew it..." "What, how can you say that, Odanna-sama?" I couldn't follow how the conversations flowed. During such times, when called for, a Hachiyo doesn't comply with the wishes of the people of the land? It seems to be like that here, in the Northern Lands. While placing his hand on his jaw, Odanna-sama explained to me the situation. "Apparently, the Northern Lands have a problem in their hands. The other name for this land is called "The Land of Glaciers", and is Kakuriyo's largest land area, and in this land there is a historical giant ice castle. But because the nature of this place is harshly cold, it is undoubtedly the most difficult to live alongside that harshness. The current Hachiyo holds a strong influence as a distinguished Ayakashi, and has been able to create stability within the boundaries of the Northern Lands.. But after countless years, that Hachiyo has succumbed to an illness." Really-- Prior to this, the Southern lands were deeply concerned with handling a unique problem, but even here in the Northern lands they also had problems. "Well,now that the entirety of the land is in chaos, from now on we must strike back at the bandits that have been having their ways in expanding their territories in the mountains here and there. But the Ozuma-gang.. They're an especially powerful bunch. Nonetheless, since I came from the North-eastern Lands which I have control over, I think we can apply some mugwort and moxybust them out." Odanna-sama said all of those standing tall and with a suave look. As if holding on to those words, the Kaku-zaru's elder who was previously losing hope suddenly, and with fire opened his eyes. "We cannot call upon the North's Hachiyo anymore. But can we impose upon the master of Tenjin-ya, along with the Miko-sama? P60 Please, for the sake of our village, make those bandits leave us!" "Ohh. But you kidnapped my new wife who fell inside a hole, isn't that request a bit selfish? And what's more, you also restrained my hands." It's not like that, that was pretty much my own fault, and it's why Odanna-sama's behavior was incomprehensible. "It's a rare chance that we got to enjoy apple-picking, but you have interrupted our date, Aoi and I. If Aoi hated me because of what I did, what then? Hm?" "Odanna-sama, right now you're being too selfish and holding grudges. Moreover, at this point I can't hate you..." "Really, Aoi? If that's the case, do you like me?" "Nah, I don't know." I replied a considerably appropriate answer to Odanna-sama, who was brimming with expectations. With such a frank answer, Odanna-sama felt dejected and with a disheartened look hunched his back and sat alongside the already sitting Kaku-zaru. Well, that was indeed depressing... "Well then, where is the Ozuma-gang right now?" Odanna-sama continued the conversation with a blank face. "They were in a nearby mountain territory yesterday, and tonight they announced that they will be coming here, to eat and feast in the banquet hall." P61 I caught a glimpse of Odanna-sama agreeing and nodding. "Aoi, what do you think we must do?" "Ehh? Me?" Him seeking for my opinion was very unusual. I thought for a bit, and answered in all honesty. "These people, I think it's a pity that the food they have now won't last until after winter.." "Hahaha, as expected of you, you were worried more about their food. Even though my companion was kidnapped to be worshipped, you were still the same, your nature of involving yourself with Ayakashi and their food still came out." "Even if I fell and rolled down a hole and everywhere hurts, I don't think I'm in any other kind of danger." "What the.. You got hurt?! Let me look at you to see if you got bruised--" "Odanna-sama, this isn't the time to talk like that--" This time my words were taken as a harsh reply by Odanna-sama, and despite the conversation getting derailed due to inappropriateness, I returned it to its original traction. Seeing the situation as such, the Kaku-zaru seemed to be perplexed. "Ahem, Well, I am also a Hachiryo. This may be the Northern Lands' problem, but I wouldn't know if the bandits may have brazenly invaded the North-eastern Lands. As such, repelling them from here is my job. I have a deep consideration of Aoi's heart, but I can lend you my hand." P62 "Ohhhhhh.." Hearing Odanna-sama's words, everyone seemed to have more hope, and they raised their voices with relief. "A normal ogre would always back out and retreat, but now you have become Kakuriyo's dark hero!" "My soon-to-be wife wouldn't like that." "You've said that already, why are saying that again?" "There are two chairs for two people on that altar, it somehow vaguely seems to be for a king and queen." "Well, that seems to be a fun situation, isn't it Odanna-sama?" Odanna-sama's reception may have been weird and without familiarity, but I think they were sincere. But... "Alright then. Since you said so, Aoi go back to Tenjin-ya." "Whaaat?" All of a sudden, Odanna-sama commanded me to return! Even though he said "I have consideration for Aoi”! "Wh-- Why? I wanted to help in any way too--" "That's out of the question. Those bandits are armed, and a despicable bunch. Having a human girl's body, you'll be in danger, and that is terrifying--" "So that being the case, Odanna-sama is not in danger?" "What's that? Are you.. Worrying for me?" P63 As Odanna-sama was peeking at my face, his face immediately showed a naughty smile. "I'm an ogre. I am different from the weak Aoi. This time your cooking skills can't resolve it." "Th... That I can understand.." Surely, I wonder if I can't get any stronger. Until now it was different, and I wondered if there's a possibility that I can fight with arms? But.. "But, I was thinking of helping up with the cooking back at the banquet hall..." "Again, when it comes to that you're still planning to cook..." Odanna-sama looked at me with a puzzled look, and I prepared myself. "But.. Ah, I see, there's more, if we add sleeping drugs to their food, when they get sleepy won't it be easier to beat them?" "What?" Hearing a mediocre yet dangerous suggestion, Odanna-sama got startled. Even the Kaku-zaru got shocked and couldn't move. As expected, the tactic was such a cliche. 'What the.. What is this atmosphere? I know it's too common. It's a joke." "No, it was so you, Aoi. I guess, you being Shirou's granddaughter, you thought of that." "You guess?" P64 "No, Aoi you had suffered and fought in so many battlefields that you have become resourcefull all around, that's a housewife!" "What the.. You don't have to follow me around against your own will, Odanna-sama--" I realized that this was much like Grandpa's style, and I saw that I have come so far. "However, this isn't exactly classical, so I don't think that it's diabolical. Yes. The mountain apples that we picked, and when we use the Hyakumeyama momiji branch, we can probably make it good." Despite my cliched suggestion, Odanna-sama seemed to have openly agreed to it. He tapped on my shoulder with his hand, and his face turned into an evil ogre. "Aoi, you can definitely depend on your special skills."

End of Chapter 2, Volume 6. Previous - Chapter 1 Next - Chapter 3

Volume 1 Translations by Kakuriyo-translations

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

I translated Volume 1 Chapter 5 here

References:

Wonderful site for the youkai references

Other stuff I used to do this: Kodansha Kanji Learner’s Dictionary (you can buy here, I’m not sponsored btw). I was about to buy the older edition but then the newer one came out 2013 so I bought that instead. Worth buying since I was able to find nearly all of the words I needed just by stroke pattern alone.

Merriam-Webster's Japanese-English Dictionary (the red-covered 1996 version is apparently out of print right now). This is what I have been using for a very long time, I bought it when I was still a fetus (yes I am old so what lol), and after so many years, when compared to newer editions, I still prefer this one since its entirety is Japanese-English, the English to Japanese gloss are just 16 pages tops, so you get more Japanese words for your buck. But that’s just my opinion, maybe other people prefer the Jap-En x En-Jap IDEK.

Basic online dictionary, Jisho. Knowledge of verb conjugations and other words are necessary since not all have entries.

If you can read Japanese, you can buy the whole set in Amazon Japan, they’re shipping worldwide now, I think.

#kakuriyo no yadomeshi #kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel #kakuriyo no yadomeshi english fan translations #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 #kakuriyo no yadomeshi volume 6 chapter 2 #kakuriyo no yadomeshi light novel english fan translation

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hearthandhomemagick · 3 years

Text

Cottage Witch Journal Entry

Good Afternoon, Everyone!

It is chilly outside, and my nose has been red since the wind hit it. A warm air is wafting over my body like a blanket in my cozy little office, making me feel comfortable. My mind is filled with daydreams and thoughts of what is right and what is wrong. My center seems to be no where in sight, and yet I am calm.

I want to tell you all how my journey has been so far since my last journal entry.

Just to recap, I set some goals for myself last time. I wanted to be more aware of my eating habits, forming a work out routine to do everyday, and learn to do a split by the end of the month. These three goals are small, and have almost no real direction or layout for how they were to be conducted.

And yet, it worked. At least a little bit!

You see, I’m training my mind right now to see tracking my eating as a fun habit. I have a theory that I overthink my weight a lot of the time and completely miss the point of weight loss in general. I still get to this state of mind where if I feel as though I should feel bad for feeding myself. And this can be induced by small things people say around me. With my mind using hyperbole to hype up what they are saying, it convinces me that my eating habits are the reason they feel the way they do.

I never used to be a jealous girlfriend, I never used to be insecure, lithe in personality or even submissive. I used to be extremely dominant, defensive, independent and confident with my steps. Hell, I joined singing competitions because in my head, I knew I’d do great. But now, I bail on musical rehearsals simply because my energy isn’t right. And after last nights episode, I fucking guess I get jealous of video games now, too! Fucking stupid.

So imagine, I’ve been on this awareness journey with my eating habits. This goal being the main one I wanted to focus on this month, and have sufficiently lost a couple of pounds simply from changing the way I eat. With that being said, I’ve still felt ill about myself. So, while my boyfriend was playing Cyberpunk 2077 last night, he mentioned he loved and wanted to marry Judy because, “She’s a version of his High School self.” (as seen above. A bad bitch tech wizard who is literally the definition of independence).

Judy is a bad bitch, I’d marry her too!!! I love how sure of herself she is and how she wants a revolution. But, for some reason, this comment didn’t settle with me correctly. Regardless of my mental efforts, an actual war was going on in my head. Negative thoughts popped up about how tiny and lithe she was in stature, while being confident, distant and strong in nature, while I was a big girl who was shy, quiet and submissive/passive. I was comparing myself to a game....a game character I related to, for that matter?! I had just taken a bite of food when he said he loved her, but I stopped chewing all together the moment he said it.

The food sat in my mouth for what felt like hours as I contemplated whether it would be acceptable to just spit it in the trash, but my grandmother who lives 45 minutes out of town drove it to me because she knew it was my favorite...smoked salmon. The thoughts running through my head included, “If you don’t eat this bite, you could get skinny like Judy faster.” & “Spit it out, pig, he’s trying to tell you something.” I ended up spitting it in the trash after thirty minutes of holding it between my gums and cheek and hating on myself.

Thankfully, I STILL HAVE SALMON LEFT OVER AND WILL NEVER QUESTION WHETHER TO EAT THAT BITE OR NOT EVER AGAIN!!!! Rationalizing myself in the moment, though, was almost impossible. My boyfriend didn’t notice much because I was simply staring quietly at the TV, his voice coming in and out every once in a while followed by my curt response.

Now, this is not his fault. Him and I had a discussion a while ago regarding this and I openly said it was okay for him to talk like that in front of me about other women. I’m a feminist and love seeing women do awesome and bad ass things. I also love talking about bad ass women! He had my consent, and knows nothing of what is going on in my mind right now, so genuinely this is not a him problem.

This is a me problem. This is a me problem I have had for a very long time regarding my body issues, my mental health and my willingness to be open about it. Which I’m not. I never tell people what’s going on because not everyone is a therapist, which is what I need and cannot afford. It’s easier to not say something.

So going back to Judy. After my moment of absolute self hatred, my boyfriend mentioned something to me that seemed to pull me out of this waterfall of feelings and thoughts. He started talking to me about things we were wanting to do together.

I realized that he wasn’t thinking as hard as I was about Judy. He simply loves and enjoys the character and the interactions he has with the character. That type of woman is the type he admires. But she’s a made up fictional character. That’s when the thought hit me, “He calls you a bad bitch all the time. You guys mirrored each other quite a bit in High School. You were independent before him. Carly, you’ve started depending on an approval he doesn’t realize you are expecting. And that’s something you should be expecting from yourself.”

I put weight in the words of a man who thought his sentence was light as a feather. Things started clicking and I couldn’t help the giggle that escaped my mouth. I had just spit food out over a situation I had created in my head. I would be Judy today if I were in a post-apocalyptic world, had I not put so much weight into depending on others for things, I would probably be Judy in todays Rona Revolution! The point is, Judy is a set of characteristics dressed up and made pretty for the success of a video game. No one is exactly like her because she isn’t real.

But I am. And personality is a choice. No, I won’t change myself, but I want to be more myself. I want to be the me uninfluenced by others opinions of me. I want to be the me that can alternate from being prissy to being tomboy. So, I want to make a list of things that make me truly happy. I want to lay out the part of me that I love, and I want to strive to accomplish more of the things I love.

1. Fixing my own car. I was told in High School that shop class was a boys class. It was my first option as a recreational hour, and they decided to put me in something else. I slowly lost interest in vehicles as a whole and pushed it to the side, depending on everyone else to fix my car for me. This is bullshit, and I want to fix my own fucking car from now on. It won’t get done otherwise.

2. MMA Fighting/Boxing. Like my piano career, this dream stopped once my teacher stopped showing up. I want to defend myself and be physically strong, I also want to say I went through something rigorous without giving up. I want this for me, myself and I. I’m tired of calling people in parking lots at night when I’m scared.

3. Yoga. I brought this up in my last post, I bring it up again because this a priority of mine that goes unnoticed frequently. I need this physical practice for my mental health, I always feel happier and healthier when I can do yoga, so there’s no excuse for me to NOT invest in this.

4. Independence. I don’t need anyone, who is in my life is here because I want them here. I don’t need anyone to make money for me, I’ll work. I don’t need anyone to tell me I’m beautiful, I know. I don’t need people telling me what to wear, it’s my choice. I want to be myself again, not everyone else collectively.

5. Music/Art. This is a part of my soul that heals with the hit of the play button. It should have never stopped being at the forefront of my life.

6. Reading and Writing. I don’t give myself time to do this, yet I have plenty of time to do everything. I don’t know what I’m waiting for, but boredom ain’t it sis! This is how I process my thoughts and organize my mind, so it should be imperative.

7. Self-Love Rituals. I want to start putting effort into rituals that mean something to me and my craft. This includes bath rituals, cooking or baking rituals, or even smoke rituals. Either way, it’s a portion of my craft I neglect, and shouldn’t.

8. Go places by myself and face my anxiety. I always shoved my anxiety to the side and trained my brain to replace it with excitement. It worked for a long time, and then I lost my confidence and Independence. I need to focus on myself to accomplish this one. But I shouldn’t be nervous or scared going into public to get shit I want or need. Period. No one is focusing on me, so why should I focus on them?

9. Sing in my car. I was recorded while singing passionately in my car twice this year. My anxious mind claimed they were making fun of me, and one was indeed laughing at me. BUT FUCK IT. Who cares if they record me or make fun of me or not? Why am I stopping my happiness because you think it’s funny? Fuck that, I’m too bad of a bitch to be worried about people who waste their time in that manner. I’ll give them a show next time. I refuse to be the victim anymore to anyone, including myself.

There is nothing stopping me except myself from pursuing the things in life that make me happy. Being aware of my own state of mind helped me realize this. And typing this out has helped me truly start the process of change for the better.

As for my actual monthly goals; they are still in tact! Again, making myself aware of my eating has forced me to be mindful of the things I put into my body, including drinks. As a result of better habits forming, I’ve dropped a few pounds. Losing weight is not the goal, but the result of accomplishing my goal. As for exercise, I have started small by working on my legs and glutes. I have been doing up to 20 Jump Squats every day or every other day. This, of course, isn’t a routine, but it is progress from where I was doing nothing. As a result, my booty and thighs have been looking good and my number of squats has been going up! I haven’t created anything yoga wise yet, but anticipate on forming something sustainable once I have gotten into the habit of my squats. Saving $100 was not the best goal to set for the month of December (not the wisest move of a notorious over spender on gifts) BUT I still want this to happen, so! Rather than worrying about saving $100, I will focus on making sure I survive this month without over drafting. I already have and am in the negatives by 80 something dollars, but for the rest of the month, and into next year, I will shut down my checking account with that bank, keep my savings, and start using that as my emergency debit card.

I’m doing better. I’m noticing progress. It’s small, but worth the tiniest amount of effort. I still struggle, and I will in the future, but right now I’m doing well. I will continue this journey with pride.

I also want to learn more in regards to shadow work, and incorporating my craft into my workout routines, so if any of you actually reads this and has any ideas, let me know! Being healthy is the main goal!!!!!

I appreciate those who read this or support it or even relate to it a bit. My last entry received a nasty comment, explaining how I was a basic bitch who needed to be educated and needed to stay out of the thinspo tag. For anyone who feels compelled to do that, just know you are much more emotionally invested in it than I am at that point. I simply don’t give 1, 2 or even 3 types of fucks about it. I’m doing this for me, if you follow then thank you, but if not then thank you for kindly leaving me alone.

I want to be me. Me alone, me without help, me with me. I still want to be with my boyfriend, and I know I have his support here, but this is my battle and I can’t rely on him to fix me or make me feel like me again. I am responsible for myself.

I’m doing better, and will continue to do so! Just let me know you guys’ thoughts, ideas or even experiences you may have went/are going through like this. I appreciate you all!

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briefololtragedy · 4 years

Text

Of menus and audio-books

Pairing Kakashi Sakura

Rating M

Summary: Sakura and Kakashi both want their dinner date, but Sakura's work keeps getting in the way. Sakura asks for Kakashi's help with tasting the menu, lets see what happens. The coffee shop saga continues

also posted to AO3 , follow up to Pakkun’s plan and Frazzled Friday

Sakura couldn’t believe the last two weeks she has had. Two weeks ago she was supposed to have dinner with Kakashi, but she kept having to put it off for work. She really needed to make a note to never cater ever again. She thought nothing could be worse than catering for that 16th birthday party, a shiver ran up her spine thinking of all the pink and sparkles. Hana, Sakura loved her to death, but between her changing her mind about the menu every other day and then Kiba constantly showing up in the coffee shop, Sakura was on her last shred of sanity. Kakashi still visited with Pakkun, but for not as long and his visits were what was getting her through this hell. She knew that Kakashi wasn’t fully comfortable talking with her when Kbia was present.

Burning...something was burning! She looked around and realized it was her muffins that she put into the oven. Sakura made a mad dash to the kitchen, smoke was billowing out of her oven. The muffins were beyond saving. Throwing the tray into the sink she couldn’t help but let out a frustrated yell. The shop wasn’t open yet, not for another 30 minutes, so there were not any customers to scare away.

And it was just at this moment her phone decided to ding. Not even two seconds later the phone was flying across the kitchen. Yep...here come the tears. She didn’t know anymore if they were out of frustration or actual sadness. Hana changed her mind again and wanted to go into a different direction. Sakura already decided that this day sucked. She just wanted to crawl back into bed and cuddle up with a good book. Silver flashed across her mind, cheeks flushed. She wouldn’t mind cuddling with him either.

Sakura didn’t know what to make of their relationship. He was more than a customer, but she wasn’t sure what he wanted. She wanted to get to know him more, wanted to see him outside of these stupid walls. She wanted to shave her legs, do her hair and makeup, and wear a dress for him, well more for her, but she wanted him to be there to appreciate her. A small voice said she also wanted to appreciate him, take that scarf and more off of him.

After her 10 minute freak out she got up from the floor, retrieved her phone and went to work. She was on the phone with Hana when he came in, he was earlier than usual (very odd). After talking Hana down from the edge, no she would not do German Russian fusion, what even the hell was that! She will handle the menu and told Hana to not worry about it. She couldn’t help the flutter in her chest when watching her favorite duo take a seat. She thanked whatever deity was looking out for her since Kiba was nowhere in sight.

“I think someone played a prank on you and messed with your clocks. You do know that it is 9am?” Kakashi was yet again hard at work on his laptop, Pakkun at his feet. She sat across from him, well she more like flopped into the seat, but it was a long day and it was only 9am!

“Hmm, maybe I just really wanted to see you.” Kakashi felt worn down, he didn’t want to beat around the bush. He was here finally when Sakura wasn’t busy with a certain customer. It was over a month since he had started to frequent Sakura’s coffee shop and he really wanted that dinner date. It didn’t help that Genma started talking about the pretty pink haired coffee shop owner when he was drunk the other night. Images flashing through his mind. He also wanted to take her up on her offer of helping him with his audiobook debacle. Kakashi decided that today would be the day, they would set the actual day for their date.

“I’m sure a busy editor like yourself has better things to do.” Sakura took a pause. “I’m sorry we haven’t been able to get our dinner together. This catering event has been a huge headache. You and this little guy have been so helpful.” Why couldn’t they seem to get out of these four stupid walls.

“I’m never too busy for coffee or your dessert of the day.” Sakura couldn’t help but smile, it was then she decided to throw her shoulders back and give herself a mental pep talk. “So my client changed the menu again, this is a short notice, but how would you feel about testing out the menu I came up with tonight?” It felt like an eternity as she waited for his answer.

Kakashi wanted to jump up and cheer, but he was not Gai. “Tonight would work.” His palms were not sweaty, he was not a teenager anymore. However, he felt himself melt at that wide dazzling smile. “Perfect! I’ll send you my address. Does 8 work?”

“8 sounds good.” He would have made sure that it worked. Kakashi watched her walk away and couldn’t help but chuckle at the flour she had on the back of her jeans, highlighting her amazing backside asset. Eight couldn’t come fast enough.

Sakura couldn’t help the extra pep in her step throughout the rest of the day. Mei looked at her like she grew a second head when she was giving customers free upgrades on their coffee orders. Sakura even had time during her break to make a menu and grocery list. She would have plenty of time to get what she needed, exercise (cause of her sugar addiction), and start preparing the food. She felt good, she hadn’t felt this good in a long time. Sakura had decided on a simple green fit n flare dress that came to her mid thigh, hair was in a messy bun, and just a little bit of makeup.

A knock on her door brought her back down to earth. She froze and was at a loss for words at the sight before her. Kakashi was wearing dark loose fitting jeans and a light grey henley shirt. She could see part of a tribal tattoo peeking out from under his right sleeve. Then there was his scarf, or more importantly the lack of a scarf. Internally she started to whimper, it wasn’t far for him to look like that.

“Kakashi please come in. I’m not making everything that I was thinking of serving for the event, but wanted to do a variety. You wouldn’t mind giving me your opinion on the other foods too?” Sakura felt more comfortable talking about food or more work related topics. She didn’t trust herself with him. Previous boyfriends didn’t like it when she was more “aggressive.”

“Sounds good.” Kakashi couldn’t help, but appreciate Sakura’s appearance. She always looked stunning, but now... He could see her muscular thighs, small waist, toned arms, and her rear. He had admired one of her best assets earlier today and couldn’t help stare as she led him through her house.

“Here is the menu I wrote up. Whatcha think?” Sakura was leaning over her kitchen island resting on her elbows.

Kakashi looked at the menu in front of him: Short Rib Crostini with Cambozola Cheese and Cherry Jam. Kimchi deviled eggs. Apple stuffed pork tenderloin wrapped in bacon. Butternut squash soup, tomato soup with mini grilled cheese crouton. Caramelized onion, goat cheese, and mushroom flatbread. Teriyaki salmon mini burgers. Medley of roasted vegetables Desserts in a shot glass: Tarrimsu, white chocolate blueberry cheesecake, lemon meringue. Trio of hot chocolate and cookies

“There will also be fruit and vegetables, fresh dip...Oh and some homemade crackers. I was thinking of baked brie with apricot jam. There were fresh apricots at the store and couldn’t help making some jam.” Before he could speak his stomach decided to join the conversation.

“Hmm , maybe I should stop talking about food and we should go to the eating part. I made the deviled eggs, flatbread, vegetables, tomato soup and grilled cheese. Then the hot chocolate and either chocolate chip or snickerdoodle cookies.” All of the smells that hit him when he first walked in all made sense now. He could smell the cookies, but really caught his attention was the eggplant in the mix of roasted vegetables.

“That sounds like a perfect plan. I forgot to ask if it would be alright to take you up on your offer from a couple of weeks ago, and have you listen to me read?” He had tried reading for Jiraya earlier, but all he got was a sour face from the man.

“It's the least I can do. Let’s eat!” Sakura found the conversation was easy. Kakashi gave some comments on the food, she noticed how he went back for more eggplant. She also had to pat herself on her back for not being too awkward. She found herself talking about Naruto and Jiraiya. Along with stories of Ino. Kakashi shared about his dogs, how he rescued them, he had more than just Pakkun. He had been in the army, but left after 5 years. He found himself settling into the publishing business with his passion for books.

Kakashi had settled into her sofa, while she decided to clean the kitchen before dessert. Guilt overtook him while he watched her do the dishes and clean off the counters. He found himself making his way to help her, she seemed shocked when he pushed her over to dry while he washed. It seemed like her friends didn’t volunteer often to help her clean.

The dish water had gotten his shirt slightly damp on the front, allowing for it to cling just enough to get an outline of his abs. It was getting hotter in her kitchen and the oven was off. She was taken out of her thoughts when she felt an arm grazing her back. “Sorry, I finished washing and decided to help with drying, the only other towel was to your right. You were lost in thought I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“Sorry for zoning out. Let me get the hot chocolate ready. Do you want white, milk, or dark chocolate? Also cookie choice.” She had decided on white chocolate and snickerdoodle, hmm this sugar was going to go straight to her ass.

“I’m starting to think you are made out of sugar. I will have dark chocolate. Hmm I think I’ll try both, I’ve been a good boy.” Sakura felt warm again, how was she going to get through him reading one of those stupid books.

“The night is still young, hope you stay a good boy. Lets go to the living room for your contribution to the evening.” Kakashi was having second thoughts. “Are you sure it’s okay for me to practice?” He didn’t want her to run away or ruin what relationship they had.

“Kakashi it's the least I can do! You have been so much help with all of this, have a seat.” Kakashi went back to sitting on the sofa, placing his hot chocolate on the end table. The chocolate chip cookie was already gone. Sakura made herself comfortable on the other end of the sofa, she was sitting facing him, one of her legs under her, she was sipping on her drink and occasionally dunking her cookie into it.

“Alright here goes nothing.” Kakahi cleared his throat as he started to read.

“We shouldn’t be doing this, Maalik.” Elena looks forlorn. The wind blows her chestnut hair in front of her face obscuring her crystal clear blue eyes. They are meeting in their safe haven, far from the eyes of their families. A small stream flowed through the area, wildflowers surrounding. The trees provided shade from the gruling sun. A ray of light had cut through the trees and onto Elena, it was their oasis.. Maalik couldn’t help but give pause. She was beauty, nothing could compare. He could feel his palms become sweaty and his heart race as he looked at her.

Kakashi noticed that Sakura was adjusting in her seat. She was cupping her mug with both hands staring at him intently. He continued on.

“You say that everytime we meet, my love.” Maalik’s smoky voice penetrated through the air. He couldn’t help, but bring his hand to her face making her look him in the eyes. Elena’s heart was beating so fast it felt like it would come out of her chest. All thoughts vanished from her mind as she looked into his brown eyes. His arm went to wrap around her waist, pulling her to him. Elena’s hand was resting on his chest and she could feel his heart beating like a drum in his chest.

Sakura could feel some discomfort between her legs grow. She wanted to rub them together. It should not be allowed to have his deep baritone voice so smooth, warming her all the way to her bones.

“Every time I see you I can’t help but feel like your beauty grows, it puts the flowers to shame.” He couldn’t help but bring their lips together. It had been weeks since they last saw each other. Elena was hesitant at first, but wasted no time to deepen the kiss. They both were acting like people dying of thirst getting water for the first time. Before Elena knew it she was laying on the grass, Maalik hovering over her. Their kiss never broke.

Kakashi’s heart was beating fast. He was sure he was blushing. Sakura’s eyes had started to glaze over. He wanted to reach out and move that strand of hair from her face.

“Please...Please Maalik it's been too long. I need you.” Maalik didn’t have to be told twice as he ventured down Elena’s body leaving wet trails as he made it to his destination.

“Sakura… are you alright?” She had been fidgeting in her seat. “I...” All self control had abandoned her and she lunged. She shoved the book out of his hands as she settled herself on his lap. Sakura cupped his face in her hands and went in for the kiss. She could taste the lingering chocolate and cinnamon from dessert. Part of her wondered if he would pull away, but once she felt him deepening the kiss with hands going to her hips she cheered internally.

Kakashi was wondering if he was dreaming. The slight nip on his lip assured him this was reality. He couldn’t help, but to slide his hands up her thighs to her hips. He took note of the ripple of her muscles with his touch. Kakashi pulled her closer to him. A low moan escaped him as Sakura started to slowly circle her hips against him. The small whine she created when he had to pull away broke part of him. They both were panting heavy just from their kiss.

“I have wanted to kiss you since the first time I met you. Do you know how much I desired to pull that stupid scarf off of you? “ Sakura’s voice had taken a husky quality to it, while they had stopped their current activity she continued to stay on his lap.

“Sakura you are no better, with those tight jeans and aprons you wear. How a baker has this great of an ass I will never know.” To emphasize his point one of his hands went to squeeze her ass lovenly. This time it was Kakashi initiating their heated lip lock. His hair was so soft between her fingers. A pleasant sensation ran up her spine as he rubbed small circles on her hip. She wanted to explore more of him.

Sakura found her right hand venturing downward, tracing the outlines of his pectorals, down his abdominal muscles, to rest just above his jeans. She slowly pulled away from him, resting her forehead on his, as she slowly unbuttoned his jeans to slide her hand to her goal. The moan and bucking of his hips was the only sign she needed to continue. She could feel Kakashi’s lips on her neck, him lightly biting at times. Sakura almost had to give pause once she had his sizable member in her hands. She licked her lips as she started to slowly work up and down his shaft. Her position was slightly awkward as her hand was between both their bodies. She wanted to move with him and found herself circing her hips with his rhythm.

Kakashi felt like he was in overload at the moment. The taste of her neck and mouth still lingering, then the feel of Sakura’s hand as she worked him, and then her hips grinding against him it was almost too much. Before he could speak he found himself standing up with her in his arms. The small squeak she let out was adorable, but it was her wrapping her legs around him that he focused on.

“Bedroom?” At his question Sakura pointed her head in the direction of her hallway. As he made his way to his destination he couldn’t help but kick off his jeans as they fell down. Once he found the right door on his own. Sakura had decided to start licking and biting at his neck, hands wondering. At least she had released her hold on little Kakashi because he didn’t think he would have the self control to not take her against the wall.

He made quick work of his shirt after laying her down, while Sakura made quick work of her dress.

Sakura started to feel self conscious as she looked at the greek god in front of her. The tattoo that she saw earlier extended up his shoulder and over his right pec. She was so wrapped up on her thoughts she didn’t notice Kakashi staring.

While Sakura made some of the most delicious desserts they didn’t make his mouth water as much as the woman in front of him. Her breasts were covered by a white lace bra, but looked like they would fit perfectly in his hands. His eyes trailed down her flat stomach to her matching pair of white panties. It was time for his second dessert.

Sakura felt her bed dip as Kakashi joined her. Her arms locking around his neck as he started to kiss her. She couldn’t help but to rub her legs together as one of his hands went to her breast, messaging it. He started to trail down her with kisses. Him making quick work of her bra as he latched onto one of her nipples, while he messaged the other. After a few minutes he switched. The pressure between her legs was building and she couldn’t help her whimpers and moans. She wanted more.

As if hearing her thoughts he ventured down her stomach pausing where her underwear started, then it was gone. His thumb started to rub circles over her clit before he replaced it with his mouth. He started sucking gently at first then the pressure started to build, especially once he placed two finger into her pumping at a lazy rhythm at first. Her back arched and she was coming.

Kakashi came back up to kiss her and she could taste herself. She wasted no time in wrapping her legs around him as he positioned himself. Finally he slid inside, stretching her deliciously.

____________________________________________

They laid intertwined both exhausted from their multiple rounds.

“You don’t like my scarf?” Sakura rolled her eyes as she nestled into him more. “Shut up and don’t make me regret spending my day off with you.”

Extra- Pakkun's thoughts:

Pakkun thought all was well 2 weeks ago, yet his owner can't seal the deal with the pretty shop owner. Pakkun has his life set and Kakashi had to ruin it. Tonight just takes the cake! Kakashi left him! Kakashi had looked like a nervous teenager when he left, mumbling to himself as he walked out the door. It almost sounded like he was giving himself a pep talk. Pakkun looks to the sofa where the other human is sitting, sipping a beer, while having a toothpick in his mouth, why was this guy even here! Pakkun had become accustomed to tuning out this human. he vaguely hears a ding of the phone. "Well peanut looks like it will be just us. Kakashi wont be back tonight, lucky dog." Genma has a smirk on his face.

Pakkun doesn't want to be with Genma and he also sees his hopes of a belly full of dog biscuits crumble. Surely if Kakashi was visiting Sakura he would have taken Pakkun along.

#kakasaku #Sakura x Kakashi #Sakura Haruno #Kakashi Hatake #naruto #fanfic #drabble

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valiant-reindeer-queen · 4 years

Text

When All Is Lost, Then All Is Found (Chapter 2)

Rating: K+ Words: 2,290 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: Kristoff receives a head injury after coming home from ice harvesting and suffers from amnesia, leaving Anna to deal with the fear she never wanted to face. Anna learns to cope through yet another difficult circumstance, and Kristoff learns to see things through Anna’s eyes. Chapters: 1 2 3 4

Chapter Summary: A wind storm hits Arendelle and Anna anxiously waits for Kristoff to come home. She finds out why he was late in the hardest possible way.

Notes: So I was going to wait another week to post this chapter, but I figured, hey it’s New Year’s Day. Let’s kick off 2020 with some pain shall we? :)

What started out to be a nice day later on became an overcast day. Eventually dark clouds started to appear and the wind started to pick up. Anna exerted all of her energy taking care of the usual daily affairs. By end of day, the important matters had been taken care of. Now it was time for the less important, mundane things.

Anna had held up just fine thus far, but to plan for something simple like a ball that was a month away? She could barely manage to concentrate on her duties of importance! Normally Anna loved planning for balls, but knowing Kristoff should be home at any moment made planning for the ball a chore.

“What do you think, roast pork or smoked salmon?”

“Smoked salmon is fine.” Anna said as she looked down, playing with her glass of water that was almost empty.

“And what about the desserts? Krumkake or dark chocolate truffles?”

“If I may, I personally recommend the krumkake.” The young man interjected.

The other advisors looked to one another wide eyed. “Um, why don’t we see what the queen wants; Anna, what do you say, do you agree with, Siegfried?”

Anna looked up startled. “Huh? Uh, yes I do. Sounds great.” She said as she looked back down fiddling with her glass.

Everyone looked at each other confused as they turned their attention back to Anna. Except for Siegfried. He was new, he didn’t know about Anna’s obsession with chocolate yet.

Anna sensed everyone staring at her and looked up again. “What?” She said sincerely.

Kai could tell something was wrong. “Nothing your majesty.” He said as he cleared his throat. “Well, I think that should be all for tonight. After all, this engagement is nearly a month away. We can resume another night. Would that be alright with you, Queen Anna?”

“Oh yes!” Anna said a little too quickly. “I mean- yes, that would be fine.” She then stood up from her chair and bowed her head. “Thank you everyone.” She said as she left the room.

As Anna walked down the hallway to her bedroom, she could hear the wind pounding onto the windows. She looked out and it was pitch black; The only visible light she could see was coming from her own kingdom. Her expression grew more perturbed.

Once she reached her bedroom, she opened the doors to find Olaf sitting on the floor reading a book.

“Olaf!” Anna said startled. “What are you doing here?”

“Oh, hi Anna! I thought I’d keep you company until Kristoff got back. I figured once you were done with all your royal duties you’d come back in here. Pretty good assumption, right?”

“Um, yes.” Anna said with a light chuckle. “Great job, Olaf!”

Anna made her way toward the window but decided to kneel down to Olaf’s level on the way. “Hey, thanks for keeping me company.” She said with a soft smile putting her hand on his shoulder.

Olaf smiled in return. “That’s what I’m here for.”

Anna smiled and rose from the floor; making her way toward the window. Her smile quickly disappeared as she stood in front of it. “How did the weather get this bad? It seemed like a normal day this morning.” Anna said unnerved.

“Well that’s Arendelle for you. Say Anna, have you ever read Jane Austin’s novel Pride & Prejudice?” Olaf asked.

“Uh, no Olaf. I haven’t gotten a chance to.” Anna said a bit distracted, continuing to fixate her attention out the window.

“Oh great! Let me tell you about it then. Okay, so the mom is trying to get at least one of her five daughters married to a rich guy to support the other girls because their property can only be passed down to another male heir, anyway she’s trying to-“

As Olaf babbled on, his voice started to become more and more faint to Anna as she zoned out into her own troublesome thoughts.

10 minutes go by.

“And get this, her cousin wants to marry her!” Olaf shook his head laughing, “Gross huh? Well she thought so too because she turned him down flat!” He laughed again. “And then she-“

20 minutes go by.

“And this Wickham guy totally deceives her sister! He acts like he wants to marry her but he really doesn’t! And her sister completely falls for his act even though it’s so obvious! Can you believe that? Who does that!“

30 minutes go by.

“And his rich Aunt is like “No you can’t marry him!” and Elizabeth is all like “I wasn’t going to marry him!” even though she’s clearly in love with him at this point, and I’m just over here confused. Like why would she-“

“He should’ve been home by now.” Anna said not realizing Olaf was still talking.

“Kristoff? Oh Anna, he’s an expert! He’s lived out in the woods his entire life. A little storm like this is nothing to him!” Olaf said confidently.

“Just because you’re an expert at something doesn’t mean you’re certain to avoid accidents.” Anna said; her voice rising as it got a little shaky. She responded in a way that indicated she had given that response before.

Olaf was a bit taken aback by her response. He could see Anna was stressed, so he decided to get up and stand with her at the window.

Olaf looked up at her and then back out the window. “Does staring out the window help sate your rising anxieties over the fact that Kristoff isn’t home yet?” He questioned.

“What?” Anna said as she shook her head. “No, I just- maybe?” She huffed. “I don’t know! I’m just… scared.” She said finally.

Olaf thought for a moment. Maybe he could make her feel better.

“You don’t need to be scared, Anna.” He said looking up at her. “There’s probably some really good reasons why he’s not home yet. Okay, one, it’s really dark out there. He can probably hardly see anything even with his oil lamp, resulting in him taking longer.” He said with a warm tone, thinking he was comforting her.

Anna started breathing heavier.

“Or maybe because of the intense blustering wind his oil lamp blew out and he can’t see a thing, so it’s as if him and Sven are blind. That could be causing a delay.”

Again, Anna started breathing heavier.

“Or maybe an obstacle got in their way, like a tree!” Olaf pulled out a mini telescope out of nowhere and started looking out of it. One Anna gave him as a gift. “And it looks like the wind is blowing at a speed of, at or around 47 knots, enough to uproot an entire tree.”

Anna’s breathing grew even heavier. “I can’t take this anymore, I’m sending out a search party.” She said as she turned away instantly from the window and started putting on clothes appropriate for the weather.

“That works too.” Olaf said feeling only slightly defeated in his attempt. He continued to peer out the window.

“Olaf, you stay here and let me know if you see them, alright?” Anna said as she finished getting ready.

“Can do!” Olaf continued to stare out the window. Anna was just about to leave when Olaf gasped, “Anna! Come look quick! I see them!”

Anna couldn’t have gotten to the window quick enough as her eyes darted everywhere searching for them.

“See I told you, Anna! It was just a little delay. That’s all.”

Anna’s eyes finally locked onto them. Her face turned pale. She could see Sven limping and Kristoff draped over his back. “Oh no… no, no, no, no!” She fearfully exclaimed. Before Olaf knew it she was gone out of the room.

“Wow, first she’s antsy about him not being here and now she’s antsy over him being here?” Olaf shook his head chuckling as he took out his telescope again, peering through it; This time focusing on Kristoff and Sven. “Sometimes I don’t think I’ll ever understaaan- Ooh…” Olaf said as he lowered the telescope with his mouth agape.

Anna was panicking running as fast as she could, gathering everyone she could find. “Help! Please help me!” She shouted, as tears started to burst forth.

“Darling, what is it?”

“What’s going on?”

“Is she okay?” They all inquired.

She could barely make an answer. “It’s Kristoff, he’s hurt!” Another stage of tears bubbled over as she began shaking profusely. “Please, please help me!” Is all she managed to get out before she turned and made her way out the doors and through the gates. Everyone followed after her faithfully.

Anna stumbled over to Kristoff and Sven. Sven appeared to be fine other than the limp. She could see that he looked very weak though. She put her hands around Sven’s face briefly and then went straight to Kristoff and scanned him up and down. She lightly put her hands around his face and finally saw the back of his head.

She gasped and backed away, her hands covering her mouth as she shook her head. She felt paralyzed in that moment. It felt as if her heart had stopped. She couldn’t even cry, she was in pure disbelief.

Everyone finally reached them. The men that followed Anna were already lifting Kristoff off of Sven. This snapped Anna out of her trance of shock.

“Please be careful with him, he’s bleeding! Get him a doctor immediately!” The tears came flowing through again. Anna started directing the others who were still there with her. “Get Sven a veterinarian as soon as you can, please!”

Anna grabbed onto Sven’s face. “Thank you.” She said as she kissed his nose. “Thank you for bringing him home.”

Sven looked sadly into her eyes and then over to Kristoff’s direction. He cried out and was pulling against the direction that the servants were trying to take him. He was trying to get to Kristoff.

“Sweetie, sweetie! It’ll be okay. He’ll be okay, alright?” She said looking at Sven, petting his nose. He groaned sadly. “I know, it’s okay.” Anna said trying to sooth him.

“Come on, big guy.” One of the men said as they tugged on his reigns gently. He allowed the men and women to take him to his stable, but he kept turning his head back and crying out for Kristoff.

Anna hurried back inside and got the attention of one of the women. “Please, send a note to my sister! Tell her to get here as soon as she possibly can.” She said with her breathing hitched.

“At once ma’am!” The moment the woman could, she began writing Elsa, explaining what had happened. Once she finished she allowed the wind spirit to take the note from there.

Anna caught up to the men carrying Kristoff into the room. Upon entering she cringed and could barely look as they set him down on the bed. The men and women were doing all they could until the doctor arrived. Anna was in a daze as she watched them dress his wound. The panic around her was faded. Her eyes were solely focused on Kristoff; wanting to make sure he was okay.

“He’s got a pulse!” One of the men exclaimed.

Tears rolled down Anna’s face again. When one of the women trying to help noticed her standing in the distance, she moved out of the way so Anna could get closer to him. “Oh! Here, darling.” Anna immediately kneeled down next to his bedside and grabbed his hand. She gave his hand a gentle kiss as more tears flowed; Her hands were shaking holding his; she brought his hand to her forehead. “You’re going to be okay.” She said to Kristoff. “You’re going to be okay.” She repeated; this time to reassure herself.

A few minutes went by, and the doctor finally arrived. He was quick to take over.

“How is his breathing, has it changed?” He said as he swiftly brought supplies out of his bag.

Anna was the first to answer. “No, it’s been the same.” She said with a raspy voice.

“Has he made any movements, any coughing?”

“No.”

He adjusted his pillows to elevate him slightly more. “Your majesty, would you mind waiting outside the room until I get him stable?”

“What? No! I need to be with him!”

“It shouldn’t take too long, dear. I’ll let you know right away when you can come back in. Okay?”

Anna looked away from the doctor and looked back to Kristoff. She squeezed his hand, giving it another kiss. “I’ll be back, sweetheart.” She said letting go of his hand. She arose slowly and stared at him, her expression full of concern. The doctor put his hand on her shoulder. “Come on, dear.” He said as he gently guided her away. Her eyes were still locked onto Kristoff as she took the first couple steps. She turned her head around once she heard the doors open. She walked out the room and turned back around to face the doctor. He could see how distressed she was. Her hands gripped at her upper arms as she looked down.

“I’ll take care of him, Queen Anna.”

She glanced back up at him. “I know.” She said shakily.

The doors closed and there was nothing but a chilling silence. Anna stood in front of the doors with an unfocused stare. It felt as if everything had come crashing down on her. She backed herself up against the door and lowered herself to the floor. As reality set in, she began sobbing. She brought her knees up and buried her head into them; wrapping her arms tightly around her legs.

She desperately needed her sister right now.

#youre welcome #whoops sorry #kristanna #kristanna fanfic #frozen #frozen 2

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porkchop-ao3 · 5 years

Text

A Thrill I’ve Never Known (Chapter 34)

The Gilded Cage

We’re off to a party at the mayor’s house! I hope you like this one, guys :)

(All chapters tagged with #ATINK and also posted on Ao3, username PorkChop)

I regretted my decision to sit by the fire almost instantly. I'd made some oatmeal for breakfast and had wandered over, thinking the area was void of people; awake ones, anyway, Javier and Lenny were curled up asleep under the shelter opposite the log I'd chosen. I'd already committed to sitting there when I realised that Micah was there too, lounging under the shelter next to it, I hadn't registered him due to his stillness and silence, but when he moved to pull a drag from the cigarette he was smoking, I saw him. He was watching me, his face neutral, though erring towards a glare if I focused on the slight narrowing of his eyes and the way he did not look away when my eyes met his.

"Morning, Micah," I said curtly.

Micah didn't answer, continuing to stare and smoke across the fire. His silence drew on, the crackle of the fire and Javier's quiet, occasional snore my only answer. My gut churned and I tried to focus on my breakfast, forcing it down, knowing my sudden loss of appetite didn't mean I wasn't hungry.

"I'd appreciate it if we could be civil," I said quietly, then took a mouthful of oatmeal.

Micah scoffed. "Is a man not allowed to sit quietly and enjoy the morning peace without being accused of not being civil?"

"Sorry," I shook my head, not looking at him.

He went quiet again, but after a while, he sighed. "Just so you know, I ain't sad. I ain't over here wallowing, feeling sorry for myself over you."

"I didn't think you were."

"You really ain't that special after all," he shrugged and I smiled to myself, thinking back to our conversation at the Parlour House where he'd said the exact opposite. I wasn't surprised he'd been saying it to butter me up.

"I know."

"Morgan's welcome to you," he muttered, flicking his cigarette away and standing up, strolling past me, "enjoy your breakfast," he added snidely.

I looked up at him and watched his back as he left, his hand hooked on his belt, his gait slow and self assured. Conflict was not something that I enjoyed, but I found myself getting irritated by that stroll of his. I sighed and shook my head.

Footsteps approached from behind, and I looked up in time to see Arthur stepping over the log before sitting down beside me. He was carrying a letter in his hand, his eyes cast down towards it, a slight frown marring his brow. He didn't say anything in greeting.

"Hello," I said curiously, and there was a pause before he responded distractedly.

"Hey," he said, then after a moment he looked up at me, then handed me the letter.

"What's this?" I questioned, looking down to the bottom of the page where the letter was signed off. Mary.

"Mary's contacted me again. She's in the city, apparently, wants to see me again," he told me.

I quickly skim read her letter, wincing at the words on the page, wondering why on Earth Arthur had given it to me. It was full of hopeless pleading, speaking of change and how Arthur could not seem to do it, how he could not be a man. She wanted his help again, it appeared, she begged. I handed it back to him when I was done, finished off the last of my oatmeal, all the while feeling Arthur's expectant eyes on me.

"Well, she sounds like she's in a tricky situation of some sort. You gonna help her?" I asked, finally looking at him. He stared blankly for a moment.

"I don't know, I was sort of hoping you'd tell me what you thought I should do," he laughed a little. I raised a brow, unsure how to respond to that.

"Mary is your… friend. I can't tell you how to deal with her. I know last night you said you ain't had to do much thinking for yourself, Arthur, but this is one of those times you're gonna need to practice," I chuckled.

"I can't just go back to her, can I? Not when I'm with you. That wouldn't be fair. I ain't thought of her in ages, darlin', and I'm gonna get tired real quick if she's gonna keep seeking me out whenever she needs someone to do her dirty work," he grumbled, shaking his head and smacking the letter with the back of his hand in distaste.

"Then don't go," I shrugged. His face contorted, my answer obviously not sitting right with him either.

"That's what I should do, ain't it?" He murmured, mostly to himself. He stared down at the letter, rubbing the dip below his bottom lip with the tip of his thumb.

I watched him for a moment, then took a breath. "I won't be mad if you want to see her."

"I don't want to see her," he was quick to correct me, "but that don't mean I feel content with tossin' this letter and ignoring her. That wouldn't be right."

"Then go!" I laughed, though it wasn't full of humour. "Arthur, it's up to you. I can understand your decision either way, she ain't exactly making things easy for you."

"I'll go. I'll go and you'll come with me, you can meet her and we'll tell her about us. Like I said last time, maybe if she sees I've moved on she might feel contacting me asking for help all the time is inappropriate," he said.

My lips parted, my heart thumping uncomfortably in my chest, eyes widening. Arthur didn't notice.

"I told her last time I couldn't drop everything for her and she needed to look elsewhere if she wanted an errand boy, that didn't sink in, clearly. So I guess it's come to this," he continued shaking his head, "she don't seem to understand that she puts me in a difficult position when she sends me letters like this, it pulls me right back to when she and I– it just don't feel good."

I dropped my focus to the glowing cracks in the wood of the campfire, trying to settle my anxiety, taking slow, quiet breaths. I saw Arthur look towards me from the corner of my eye, then heard him sigh.

"And it ain't fair on you," he added, then tossed the letter into the flames right in front of me, making me jump.

For some reason I flinched, almost going to grab the letter out of instinct as if it had been an accident, but I caught myself. I turned my wide eyes to him.

"I'm sorry, angel," he whispered, "I'm not going. I shouldn't even think twice about it when I've got you I should be focusing all my attention on."

"Arthur, you don't have to be like this for me," I shook my head and he reached for my hand, cupping it between both of his, stroking the back of it with his palm, "she was your fiancé," I added.

"You knew about that?" He frowned, then shook his head dismissively. "Yeah, she was. Until she decided to call the whole thing off and marry some other feller, spitting on everything she and I had together."

"I'm sorry," I breathed.

"Well," he sighed, looking guilty, "it was a little more complicated than that. I weren't being totally fair, neither of us were innocent, we hurt each other. Anyway, I'm trying to move forward and build something with you, I refuse to let her make me keep one foot in the past, Lord knows I did that for too long."

"If you're sure," I said, though I felt a little guilty being the reason he wanted to ignore her letter. It was Arthur's decision, though, however he made it.

"I'm completely sure," he lifted one hand to my cheek, stroking his thumb across the top of my cheekbone. He moved in to kiss me once. "I miss that hotel room already. Things were nice there, just me and you," he whispered when our lips parted, only for him to kiss me again right after.

Arthur tilted his head, deepening the kiss. All of my guilt and worry ebbed away, my heart rate slowed to a pace that was only elevated because of excitement, not anxiety, it thrummed more pleasantly in my chest, fluttering like the butterflies in my stomach. It was just Arthur and I, like nobody else existed for those moments. It didn't occur to me once where we were, until I heard a laugh.

Arthur and I immediately broke away from each other and looked towards the noise; Javier was in the process of sitting up, just woken up, looking between us.

"Don't let me disturb you," he teased, smirking, then got up and left us to grab himself some coffee. Regardless, Arthur and I put a little distance between us. Just because we weren't worried about keeping our relationship quiet anymore, it didn't mean we were going to start ramming it down everyone's throats.

"Did you speak to Hosea and Dutch about the mayor's party?" Arthur asked after a short stretch of quiet.

"Oh, yeah, well I spoke to Hosea. He said he'd ask Dutch, but he thought it was a good idea; said we'd look a little more upstanding if we had a lady in the group," I grinned, and Arthur chuckled.

Dutch took some convincing – mainly the work of Hosea – but eventually he came around to the idea of having me attend the party. There were conditions, however, we were there to work, to find leads, not simply to get a taste of high society life. He said it to me as if I was interested in that sort of thing, I told him not to worry, I'd already been working on my persona and a plan to seek out something worthwhile. He also warned me not to distract any of the other men while they were looking for their own leads, and that one almost made me roll my eyes. What did he take me for?

So, all of us – Dutch, Hosea, Bill, Arthur and I – headed to Saint Denis to get ourselves cleaned up for the party. We went to the tailor's and each bought a new outfit for the occasion; I ended up in a ball gown the likes of which I'd never worn in my life. It was a salmon pink off-the-shoulder thing with a gathered, satin, wrap-around style bodice and wide skirt with more gathers at the front, the fabric lifted to reveal a layer of lighter pink satin underneath trimmed with lace. The dress was adorned with ribbons and bows and a ruffle on the bust that made me look more endowed than I really was, helped along by the corset that went with it that did an excellent job of pushing my breasts up till I could practically rest my chin on them.

Heading back to camp before the party saw me surrounded by the girls, Miss Grimshaw and Mary-Beth worked together to do my hair while the others (excluding Sadie, who was decidedly not interested in the ball and Molly, who was decidedly bitter that Dutch hadn't asked her to come) spoke excitedly about what a ball at the mayor's house might be like. I was nervous by the time I was ready and the sun was on its way down, and we were all piled into a stagecoach together on our way.

I was crammed in between Bill and Hosea, sat opposite Arthur and Dutch. Hosea was talking about how he used to attend balls quite often, and I was surprised until he revealed it was more about pick-pocketing than anything else. We all shared a laugh.

"Remember, we're here to make contacts. So, no pick-pocketing, no cons," Dutch began, looking to me before continuing, "well, loosely speaking. You see an opportunity to set something up, go ahead, but the point is we don't wanna attract any attention just yet."

"What sort of contacts we trying to make here?" Arthur questioned, shaking his head and seeming amused by the whole thing.

"I guess we'll find out when we get inside," Dutch laughed, "we're heading into a party at the mayor's house where the guest of honour is the worst crook in town. Rest assured, Arthur, we're bound to find something."

I laughed, looking down at my hands, twisting a ring around that Tilly had lent to me for the occasion, taking a breath to calm my nerves.

"When we get there, Arthur and I will go in and reacquaint ourselves with Bronte, you fellers, go find somewhere quiet and we'll meet you out there. And you, my dear," Dutch continued, and I looked up when he addressed me, "you head into the party and start mingling. Use your womanly charm to get us some information about something we might be able to steal, some poor feller worth robbing, anything."

"Womanly charm," Arthur chuckled, but it seemed a little tense, "what's that supposed to mean?"

"It means a feller's more likely to trust an attractive young lady – or better yet, try to impress her – with some information about how well he's doing for himself, than he is a mean lookin' tough guy such as yourself," Dutch explained in a low voice, "and that is information we might be able to use."

I felt my face heat up at the way Dutch referred to me as an attractive young lady, especially when all the men in the coach turned to look at me at that moment precisely. Arthur's eyes stayed on me long after the others turned away.

"It's a fair point," Bill said. Arthur shrugged then looked back at Dutch.

"Fair enough. Now what am I doing?" Arthur asked.

"We'll figure that out once we get inside, we're here."

We arrived outside of the house, a beautiful place lit up and alive with the sound of music drifting onto the streets from what sounded like the garden around the back. We all climbed out of the stagecoach, and Bill awkwardly offered a hand to help me down after scrubbing it against his trouser leg, since he was the one who climbed out before me. I took it and thanked him, and he was quick to let go as soon as I was down safely, acting like it never happened. I chuckled to myself, and came to walk beside Arthur who was waiting for me.

"You ready for this?" He uttered to me under his breath. A smile lifted my lips and I gave him a look of reassurance.

"Ready or not, we're heading in. We'll be fine," I told him, looking him up and down in his suit.

Christ almighty, Arthur in a suit, now that was a sight I could get used to. He looked incredibly handsome, his hair slicked back with pomade, his beard freshly trimmed to a short, neat stubble.

"You certainly scrub up well," I purred, and Arthur opened his mouth to speak, but was quickly distracted by one of the gentlemen standing at the front gate, greeting people.

"I'm afraid the mayor doesn't allow guns at official functions after last year's incident," he was saying. Hosea and Dutch handed over their holstered weapons, and Arthur turned to do the same.

My heart stopped and I glanced around nervously, wondering if I could get away with it or if it was worth the risk of keeping quiet. One of the gentlemen looked at me, raising a brow as he noticed my nervousness, and with an awkward cough I turned away from the group. I could feel their eyes on me as I – as discreetly as I could – lifted the hem of my skirt, gathered up my petticoats, and reached underneath to retrieve the revolver I had strapped to my thigh. I sheepishly handed it over, gaining a number of surprised looks.

"Well, a lady needs to be able to protect herself, don't you think?" I chuckled tensely, and eventually they all shrugged it off.

"I suppose that's rather sensible," someone said.

With that, we were ushered into the house. I fell into step beside Arthur, who was looking at me with an amused smile and lidded eyes. I flushed and chose not to say anything, feeling his hand go to the small of my back as we climbed the steps to the house.

Hosea, Bill and I broke off from Arthur and Dutch when they went to meet Signor Bronte. Arthur had explained before we left that he was the one who'd invited us here, and he just about ran part of the city. He was also the one who was holding Jack, but Dutch had sucked up to him enough that that wasn't a problem… apparently. I personally found it very odd, but it wasn't my place to say anything.

I headed into the party just as Dutch had instructed. I stepped out of the back door onto the veranda that looked out across the garden. I took a moment to familiarise myself with the place; there were people everywhere, all lavishly dressed of course. There was a gazebo with a band playing right in the middle of it all, a huge fountain further up ahead. The garden was split up with raised planters bursting with exotic looking foliage and flowers, between which were various paved areas where the guests converged, all around buffets and candle lit tables. Lights were strung up above, bathing the place in a low glow, bright enough so you could make your way around but dark enough to maintain a strangely intimate atmosphere.

I hadn't been to any balls before, but I had to say, the place looked impressive even to me.

I descended one of the sweeping staircases that curled around into the heart of the party, immediately being offered a glass of champagne by a gentleman holding a tray full of glasses. I gratefully took one, having a sip, my very first taste of champagne. I had to say, I wasn't all that impressed, though I drank it anyway to calm my nerves and give me a little more confidence.

Glancing around the place, I honestly didn't know where to start. Looking for leads; I knew my objective but once I was faced with the prospect of carrying it out, I almost regretted coming. Luckily, I needn't pluck up the courage to make the first move to anyone because a man approached me, casually sliding in beside me, nibbling on an hors d'oeuvre of some description.

"Good evening," he greeted me after finishing off the last bite. He was a tall, skinny man with a gaunt face and deep set eyes. Very pale skin dotted with freckles and bright orange hair slicked into a graceful sweep across his forehead. He was wearing a suit not dissimilar to the one Dutch was wearing… or any of the other men for that matter. There really was only so many ways to wear a suit, it seemed, rather boring compared to the variety in the women's gowns. There were some show-stoppers, for sure.

"Hello there," I replied, turning to face him.

"Pleasure, the name's Michael," he offered his hand to me and met it with my own, he gave my fingers a gentle squeeze.

"Jemima," I told him.

"Jemima," he repeated with a nod, "what a God-awful farce this is, don't you agree?"

"Oh, I'm afraid I just arrived. I haven't quite been here long enough to draw any conclusions," I laughed.

"Darn, I was hoping I'd find someone to stand and complain with. You know, I'm only here because my social climber wife was invited. Yes, she's rather friendly with that man who makes the ugly hats, what's-his-name," he looked to me for an answer and I could do no more than stare blankly at him, "Wasp. What an awful name."

"Never met the feller," I shrugged, clearing my throat and scanning the place for an excuse to escape.

"Well I assure you he practically owes his living to me, with the number of hats my wife owns. You'd think she wanted to open up her own shop. And the size of some of them, I'll have to buy a second home just to keep the damn things," he tutted, shaking his head. "Anyway, she fits right in here, but I just can't stand these sorts of things."

"I suppose it's not for everyone," I mused.

"Right, she was stood talking to that man over there for twenty minutes when I left her to it. Some nonsense about art, he's a dealer or something, was trying to sell her some crap from Italy that I'll end up paying for, no doubt," he grumbled, gesturing to a gentleman now standing alone, picking at the buffet.

I watched him for a moment, thinking.

"That woman'll be my ruin, I'm sure of it, bleed me dry," Michael said under his breath, and I looked at him with raised brows. He caught my eye and sighed, "sorry, I've been hitting the champagne hard since we got here, I've said enough. I'll leave you to it. Have a pleasant evening," he said monotonously, then skulked off.

I noticed Arthur pouring champagne for a group of ladies nearby and smiled, then wandered over there. He grinned when he saw me, and topped up my glass.

"Thank you, sir," I said, and he shook his head in amusement.

"What did Dutch say about distracting the fellers?" He teased me.

"I'm distracting you? Why I'm just saying hello," I nudged him, sipping my drink. "How is Mr. Bronte?"

"He's…" he began, trailing off as he struggled to sum the man up, "well, I'm just glad you haven't had to meet him."

"Oh, that bad?"

He made a humming sound. "Who was your new friend?" He gestured in the vague direction of Michael. I laughed and shook my head.

"An unhappily married complainer, was about my take away from the conversation," I told him, "but, he gave me an idea, so it wasn't all bad."

"Yeah?" He looked at me, intrigued.

"Yeah," I smiled, "what about you?"

"Well, I need to speak to the mayor," he said, nodding over towards the fountain where a group of men were standing, one of them must've been him, though I couldn't tell you which one.

"Oh! I'll leave you to it, then," I rubbed his upper arm, pausing to feel the muscle there when it captured my attention, before turning to leave. Arthur caught my arm before I could walk away.

"You look incredible. Just thought I should tell you that," he said under his breath.

A smile burst across my face, "thank you, sweetheart."

Arthur smiled at the nickname, sliding his hand down to squeeze mine, his eyes turning soft and warm and lovely. Before I could get carried away, he let me go, and we each went our separate ways so we could get on with our jobs. I walked towards the man Michael had pointed out to me as an art dealer, flashing him a little smile and waiting for him to smile back before committing and closing the distance.

"Hi, lovely to meet you, Jemima Jones," I introduced myself, offering my hand and having him shake it.

"Leighton Pleasants," he said in an English accent, then glanced down at my attire, "what a lovely dress."

"Oh, thank you. It's brand new for the occasion, I couldn't resist spending a little money once I knew I'd be coming to the mayor's house," I giggled, and Leighton's smile widened, "speaking of, I heard you are a collector of artwork, or something along those lines?"

"Ah, yes, something like that. I have rather an impressive collection if I do say so, though a lot of the buying I do is for the purpose of passing it along to those who will treasure it. Do you have an interest in art?"

"I suppose you could say that. I enjoy filling my home with work that the guests can enjoy, I host a lot of parties, you see. I bought a painting on the recommendation of a dealer in Paris a few years back and ever since then I've been hooked. The looks on people's faces when I unveil a new piece!" I touched his arm and gave a happy sigh. "Truthfully, I know nothing about art, but my guests often do. I'm always on the lookout for new and exciting work."

"Oh, really? Well, in that case I believe I might be your new best friend."

"Or I may become yours," I flashed him a mischievous grin and watched as he chortled.

"Well, I have a new shipment of artwork coming in from Italy, due next week. It's certainly new and exciting, it's by this up and coming artist–"

"Oh, save the sales pitch until I'm seeing the work," I cut him off, "how do you do business, Mr. Pleasants? Do you have a gallery nearby?"

"Actually, I tend to hand pick artwork for my clients and bring a selection to their home, let them display the work in their desired location to really give them a sense of what they're getting," he explained, making grand gestures with his hand at something in his imagination appearing right in front of us.

"Oh, well, that's certainly a personal service," I hummed, pursing my lips, "but I think I'd prefer to see everything you've got, especially this new shipment. Don't you have a gallery?"

"Well, I have a building that I keep all of the work in, though it's not so much a gallery as it is a warehouse," he admitted, wearing a hesitant expression, "a private building in the city for security purposes, it's not a pretty place, but it is highly secure and the artwork is kept safe and pristine for potential buyers."

"Oh, I don't mind what the building looks like, just the art. Perhaps you'd allow me to visit? Just give me a time and the place and I won't be any trouble, I'd just like to have a look," I bargained, but he didn't look enthusiastic, he frowned and chewed on his lip.

"I'm afraid I can't, the building is very secure and there is a lot of money's worth of art there, it's not that I believe you're untrustworthy, I just cannot bring clients there. It's more my partner's rule than my own, you understand, don't you?" He apologised, and I let out a sigh, pouting glumly.

"Fine, I get it. Can't be too careful, I suppose. Well, what if you do what you normally do and bring me some paintings to look at? If you don't mind, I'd rather view them at a hotel, so my husband doesn't find out I'm spending all our money again," I laughed, and he visibly relaxed.

"I suppose I can manage that," he nodded, smiling at me, eager to keep me keen, "what sort of art are you after?"

"How about you bring me that Italian work? I'm not too picky, if it's new and popular, I'm all for it," I suggested.

"Well, in that case, I think you'll be very pleased."

"May I ask that you bring the work to the Saint's Hotel in Valentine? I know it's a bit of a ways away, but trust me, it's closer than my home," I chuckled.

"Valentine? That's no problem at all my dear. The paintings will be arriving in Saint Denis next Friday, so perhaps we could set the viewing up for Saturday morning?"

"Evening would be better for me, I think," I pondered. The roads would be quieter, I thought.

"Evening it shall be, then. Shall we say six o'clock, next Saturday, at the hotel in Valentine?"

"Absolutely!" I offered my hand to him again and he shook it.

"Wonderful!"

A moment later, a loud bang rang out across the sky. I was a moment away from ducking for cover, but I saw the burst of light in the air above us, a shower of colourful sparks, followed by many more. Fireworks!

"How beautiful," I breathed, mostly to myself.

The sky lit up with explosion after explosion, everyone stopped in their tracks and watched the display. Sounds of awe surrounded me as the crowd enjoyed the beauty going on overhead. Part of me wished that Arthur was standing next to me so we could enjoy them together, I wondered if he found them as pretty as I did.

It occurred to me then, as I enjoyed that small moment of peace where I didn't have to think of anything but the celebrations going on around me, that it was my birthday. I'd honestly forgotten. I smiled to myself, figuring that attending a fancy ball, never mind the purpose of doing so, had been a memorable experience for a birthday to say the least.

"I've never felt so awkward in all my life," Bill was grumbling once we were all back in the coach heading back to camp after the party. He carried on muttering about how awful the party was, much to my amusement. I kept quiet, though, only smiling to myself as to not rile him up further. I'd spotted him ambling about the place in his too short pants, wondering what to do with himself. He was a fish out of water in that place.

I realised Bill had stopped complaining when Arthur handed a piece of paper to Dutch, who's eyes seemed to light up at whatever it was. It seemed like we'd come away with a few decent leads; Hosea might've found a bank to rob, Dutch mentioned a trolley station and a poker game on a boat that could be of use. I waited until we were clear of the party to explain my findings, and Dutch didn't hesitate to ask me what I'd been doing as soon as there was a lull in the conversation on the way home.

"Did you find anything of interest, my dear?" He asked casually, he almost sounded as if he wasn't hopeful.

"I believe I did, if you have a couple men free next Saturday evening," I began, and Dutch raised his brows with intrigue.

"Oh?"

All four men looked at me interestedly.

"I got talking with this art dealer, I arranged to view some paintings. He's bringing them up from Saint Denis to Valentine, so my thinking was you fellers could intercept somewhere along the way and take them off his hands," I explained, looking between Hosea and Dutch in particular for approval, "preferably without putting a bullet in him," I added.

"Paintings?" Hosea repeated, then gestured to Arthur, "Seamus'd know what to do with those. You could take them to him."

Arthur nodded thoughtfully.

"I think they're worth a fair bit," I told them, and Dutch hummed.

"Not bad," he appraised, then glanced at Arthur, "could be one for you and Lenny. Maybe one more."

"Take John with you," Hosea suggested.

"Alright. Well done, I knew you'd make yourself useful," Arthur smiled at me, and my heart fluttered with pride.

#rdr2 #red dead redemption 2 #arthur morgan #fanfiction #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan x female reader #atink #van der linde gang #reader insert #rdr2 fanfic

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svtmatokis · 4 years

Text

Miracle P4

I literally just finished writing Miracle P6 and I CANNOT wait for you guys to read it! But until then, here is Miracle P4

Plot: What if it was love at first sight? Jihoons lost all passion for music after being wronged two years ago and right as he was about to quit, someone unexpectedly enters his life and changes it for the better

Pairing: Reader x Jihoon

Words: 4294

Warnings: A lot of chapters have a bit of swearing

Jihoon walked into the house and was satisfied that it was already empty and knew that most of the guys who lived there were already at your house preparing for the party.

With your hands still attached, he lead you to the dining room where a bouquet and gift box waited for you. He pulled out the chair for you to sit down in and handed you the flowers which weren’t roses but a mixture of your favorite ones which was wrapped in purple tissue.

The next thing he handed you was the box and urged you to open it.

You gently pulled the ribbon apart and opened the box to find a bunch of your favorite snacks with a little note from Jihoon written on each of them. You giggled as you came across a few funny inside jokes the two of you shared and at the bottom of the box was your favorite chocolates with a note that said:

‘I’ve learned your taste and I love your style. I feel like we’ve been dating forever, so will you be mine?’

“Oh my gosh this is so cheesy.” you whispered with a slight sniffle but a smile was stuck on your face as you looked up at Jihoon who had gone up to his room to change into something more party appropriate which resulted in a white long sleeved shirt and dark jeans. “Is this your way of asking me to be your girlfriend?”

“Would you say yes if it was?” he asked back as he kneeled in front of you with your hands in his and he brought them to his lips to kiss each knuckle.

“I would say yes to you for anything.” you admitted shyly, “Thank you for all this..”

“Anything for my girl.” he said liking the sound of it as it rolled off his tongue and knew he could get used to this. “Then, would you say yes if I asked to kiss you then?”

“I really don’t think you need to ask Ji.” you said with a cheeky grin as he leaned forward and covered your lips with his in a soft perfect first kiss.

After a few moments, Jihoon pulled away with a satisfied grin on his face. “We should get going, I promised the guys that you would be in time for the party. You are the guest of honor after all.”

“Promise you won’t leave me tonight?” you asked, “I know that Tae, Kook and Jimin are going to try to get me as wasted as they can but I also have dance practice with Hobi tomorrow that I can’t miss.”

“Promise. The last thing we need is for you and Hoseok to not make finals in the duo competition this time.” he said standing up before pulling you up and meeting your lips once. “And I can definitely get used to this too.” he whispered rubbing his nose against yours making you giggle.

“You know Ji, I think I can say the exact same thing.” you said picking up the flowers as Jihoon took the box and the two of you made your way out the door and to your birthday party.

Meanwhile, Soonyoung approached the group at the party who had gathered at Yoongi’s DJ post and put his hand on Hoseok and Jungkooks shoulder.

“Guys, I might have to throw fists tonight.” he said as everyone turned to look at him.

“Whats up?” Namjoon asked as Soonyoung theoretically blew smoke out of his nose.

“I’m not sure how but Jihoons stupid ex is here with Lina. If she tries to ruin anything between Y/N and Jihoon, I am going to throw fists.” Soonyoung said pointing in the direction to where Hana stood with Lina.

“Lina from our dance class?” Hoseok asked and Soonyoung nodded.

“Don’t throw fists Soon.” Jin reprimanded, “You can get kicked out of all clubs if you do.”

“So?” Soonyoung asked obviously annoyed, “She broke my best friends heart and has the audacity to show up at his new girlfriends birthday party. I smell something fishy and its definitely not the salmon you made today Jin.”

“I’ll fight her in your place baby.” Kimi said sliding up next to Soonyoung and wrapping her arm around his waist. “Only if she does something to make Y/N upset though.”

“Awe! You’re so sweet honey! Fighting for both mine and Y/N’s honor like that.” Soonyoung cooed as he placed a kiss on Kimis cheek.

“Geez, the relationship between two black belts..” Jin said with a shake of his head, “well if she provokes you then you have free reign but please leave the blood to a minimum. We literally just replaced the carpet from Kookies birthday.”

“Let me go talk to her first and see what’s really up.” Seungcheol said leaving the group immediately and made his way towards the duo.

“They’re cousins” Soonyoung said as everyone gave him a questioning look, “They don’t really get along but family’s family. Have Y/N and Jihoon arrived yet?”

“She went to change out of her dance outfit.” Jihoon said coming out of nowhere causing a few to jump. “We snuck in through the back door when we saw all the people at the front.”

“So how did the plan go?” Jin asked curiously, “Are you going to be my brother in-law?”

“Well….” Jihoon started explaining what had happened between the two of you in the last hour or so.

Meanwhile, Seungcheol had found Hana and Lina by one of the tables that Jin had put out for the event and tapped her on the shoulder.

Hana turned around and gasped when she saw Seungcheol give her one of his fake smiles and waves, “S-Seungcheol...what are you doing here?”

“I’m good friends with the host and the birthday girl.” Seungcheol explained, “Can I talk to you in private?”

“I’m actually here with Lina and I really shouldn’t leave her alone.” Hana said trying to excuse herself but Seungcheol recognized the girl from dance class and shot her a charming smile.

“Is it okay with you Lina? I saw Chan near the food table, I think he said he wanted to talk to you about one of the routines you worked on.” Seungcheol said using the crush she had on the junior captain to his advantage.

“Of course Cheol.” she said and smiled at Hana, “I’ll be right back. Come find me when you’re done.”

“O-okay...see you later.” Hana said hesitantly and once Lina was out of sight Seungcheol pounced.

“What are you doing here Hana?” he asked immediately. The two never really got along as family and ever since the break up with Jihoon, Seungcheol kept his distance from her. Even though she was family, she still broke his best friends heart and up until now he was healing, “You don’t even go here.”

“I came to tour the school for the week...I’m thinking about transferring to a different arts program that our school didn’t have.” Hana started and Seungcheol cut her off.

“Bull shit, you got kicked out of your program didn’t you.” Seungcheol stated, “Did you steal someones music again? Or are you really here to try and get Jihoon back?”

“No!!” Hana quickly defended herself, “Why would you think I stole someones music?”

“Because you did that to my best friend.” Seungcheol said, “Stole, sold and accused him of plagiarizing. You know, I never really got to talk to you about that.”

“Well you wouldn’t listen when I tried to explain. Jihoon wasn’t exactly innocent in this either.” Hana argued as her eye caught sight of said person talking to a group of boys. The smile on his face as he was explaining something to them was undeniable and she started to question why all the guys were patting him on the back.

“Hana, you stole his music and sold it to other students to use for their projects. You then convinced the department that HE had stolen YOUR music for his projects. Think about how embarrassed he felt. He already had a reputation as a producer in the school and it got tarnished just because you were jealous of his work. You claimed that the music he worked so hard on was yours. I know the full story Hana. I know the music that Jihoon was working on. I was the one who introduced you two.” Seungcheol said silently thanking Yoongi who had turned the music up so no one could hear what he was saying. “I regret introducing him to you cause all you did was break his heart.”

“It wasn’t my fault!” Hana said frustrated, “I had to be at the top of the class. Then Jihoon started using his original music for projects and suddenly he takes the spot. You know how bad that made me look? I was number one for so long and then my boyfriend comes in and bam, his music takes over mine. I had a reputation Seungcheol. You would never understand.”

“Oh I do.” Seungcheol said with a nod, “Cause my friend here has a reputation and guess what, his little sister took that spot away from him and I have never seen him prouder” He was obviously referring to you and Yoongi who continued to encourage each other through your works of music. Yoongi had even gone as far as to write a song about how proud he was of you and you in turn wrote a thank you to the mentor you almost never met. “You never encouraged Jihoon because of your jealousy and inturn, he neglected you right?”

Seungcheol smirked at Hana’s sudden silence and patted her shoulder, “Just know that whatever you’re trying to do here won’t work. Jihoon isn't the same quiet guy everyone once knew. When he transferred here, he got his backbone and the most support he’s ever had, don’t try to take that away from him.”

“But...I realized all that after I got kicked out of the program...I was always jealous of him because he was more liked in the music department and I suddenly just became ‘Jihoon’s girlfriend’.”she said looking down, “That’s why I want to transfer here...to show Jihoon that I’ve changed…”

“Well...that’s not going to work in your favor anymore.” Seungcheol said with a sigh, “He’s moved on and it wouldn’t be a good idea for you to associate with that group-”

Seungcheol was cut off by Soonyoung jumping on one of the tables and yelling into the mic that he had taken from Yoongi’s DJ stand.

(Earlier)

“See, I told you the cheesy note would work.” Taehyung said patting Jihoon on the back as the rest did after he told them how you agreed to be his girlfriend, “Welcome to the brotherhood man.”

“I also wanted to let you know that Hana’s here.” Soonyoung said watching Jihoon’s reaction carefully and funnily enough, he seemed unphased. “Cheols talking to her now.”

“You’re telling me this after the girl of my dreams agreed to be my girlfriend.” he stated, “Do you seriously think I could give a fuck? I saw Hana earlier when I was waiting for Y/N and I thought I was going to break but once Y/N grabbed my hand, the only person I saw was her. That’s when I kind of knew that I was completely over her.”

Hearing this made Soonyoung happy, like really happy. As he saw you come out of your bedroom dressed in a white v-neck and black skinny jeans with your hair curled, he grabbed the mic from Yoongis DJ stand (under his protests) and hopped on one of the tables (with Jin reprimanding him in the background.)

“EVERYBODY MAKE SOME NOISE!!!!!!!!” He yelled as the whole house cheered, “I just wanted to announce that this is probably the happiest day of my life. Why you ask? Because MY best friend” he pointed at Jihoon who was currently leaning on Yoongi’s DJ table with his hand over his eyes in embarrassment but laughing, “has finally gotten his shit together and asked our birthday girl and dance captain over here.” he then pointed at you who had been making your way towards said group but stopped to look at him with wide eyes when Soonyoung addressed you, “To be his girlfriend!”

“FINALLY!” you could hear most of the dance team including Chan and Vernon yell through the crowd and you suddenly felt your face heat up in embarrassment and quickly ran towards the group of boys and into Jihoon’s arms where he wrapped his arms around you laughing as you hid your face in his shoulder from pure embarrassment.

“What the heck was that?!” you asked Soonyoung as soon as he hopped off the table and returned the mic.

“A definite show opener thats what.” Yoongi said handing you a drink he had gone to get during Soonyoungs little announcement. “Happy Birthday baby girl.”

“Happy birthday Y/N!” the group that surrounded you chorused as everyone put their drinks together.

Seungcheol smiled at the sight before him while Hana frowned. You were the girl that Jihoon had been with earlier when they ran into each other.

“They won’t last.” she said automatically, “He’s going to neglect her for his work eventually...no one understands it like I do and how could someone like him date someone as ugly and plain as her?”

“I bet you my inheritance that you’re wrong.” Seungcheol said as he saw you pretty much cling to Jihoon as Jungkook, Taehyung and Jimin gave you drinks left and right, “Oh he is definitely going to need help with her later.”

Jihoon had this smile on his face that he hadn’t seen in so long and he could see that Jihoon was happy you were depending on him. Your body was pressed against his side as the two of you stood next to Yoongi’s DJ booth where Seungcheol knew would be the main spot for the group for the night. Yoongi rarely left his DJ booth during parties and you wanted to celebrate your birthday with all your close friends and brothers. He held back a laugh when he saw Jihoon take the drink out of Taehyungs hand to chug it himself making the other dancer pout. Jungkook then handed you big glass which you took and finished within a few seconds. That one had probably hit you hard since he noticed your head was now on Jihoons shoulder and Jihoon was laughing while rubbing your back gently, whispering into your ear.

“I bet you that she’ll get bored of him quickly.” Hana said, “And he’ll come back to me once he realizes that I’ve changed for the better.”

“And you’re delusional.” Seungcheol said with that fake grin as he noticed Lina, Chan, Vernon and Joshua come towards them. “ He’s finally found someone who depends on him as much as he does her. Don’t mess with Jihoon, Hana. There will be consequences and not only from me. ” he finished just as the boys and Lina joined the group.

“Who owes me money?” Seungcheol then asked the three boys who grumpily gave him twenty dollars each.

“I seriously didn’t think he’d wait this long!” Chan whined, “They were always together in and out of class that so many thought they were already officially together.”

“Jihoon likes to take his time. You know that.” Joshua said with a sigh as he saw Taehyung wave him over. He had a tray of shot glasses in his hand and knew that it was time for the birthday shot.

“We should really join the birthday girl though. I see Tae has prepared the shots.” Vernon said starting to walk away, “See you later Lina!”

Slowly one by one the group dispersed and soon Lina and Hana were left to their own devices.

“I can’t believe Jihoon and Y/N finally got together.” Lina said laughing as she saw the group around Yoongi take shots. “They’ve been dancing around each other since she got back from London.”

“London?” Hana questioned.

“Y/N left during freshman year to go study in London for a program that the school offered. She just came back this year. I heard that she’s the younger sister of the student body president and also close with Min Yoongi who’s a known producer. I’m not sure of their connection though.” Lina said, “She’s also the captain of the dance team. She’s really nice, do you want to go meet her?”

Hana winced as she saw you look at Jihoon and ever so discreetly, he leaned down to give you a quick peck on the lips which obviously everyone around them saw and started cheering once again.

“I’m actually kind of tired...can I have the key to your dorm? I think I’m going to head back first.” she said with a tight smile and feeling sick to her stomach.

“Sure, I’m going to hang around a while longer. It’s not everyday that the whole dance department gets invited to these parties.” Lina said handing Hana the key. “Feel better!”

With one last look at the lovely couple, Hana made her way to the exit trying to get the image of how happy Jihoon looked with another girl in his arms out of her head.

Later in the evening, the party was starting to wind down and only the dance team members as well as everyone from the SVT Frat house remained. You somehow had gotten roped into playing a game of beer pong with Taehyung, Joshua and Seungcheol while Jihoon had stayed by the DJ booth with Yoongi and watched to make sure you were okay.

“So I’m not going to have to give you the talk am I?” Yoongi asked as the two observed the beer pong game at hand. Jin was currently the referee while Namjoon, Jungkook and the rest watched from the sidelines.

“The talk?” Jihoon asked looking at his mentor, “You mean the, if I hurt her I’ll die talk?”

Yoongi nodded his head, “I worked two years to get you two together and if you fuck it up…”

“I won’t.” Jihoon said with finality in his voice, “She’s too special to me and she’s the reason why I’m doing better in class this year than I was last year.”

“I can see that, you two are neck in neck right now in marks.” Yoongi said taking a gulp of his drink, “But your ex girlfriends here too, what about her?”

“What about her?” Jihoon asked, “When I saw Y/N at the cafe that day and didn’t know it was her I was already intrigued. To find out that she’s the girl you’ve been wanting to set me up with after you started mentoring me is something else. She’s so much more then you described Yoongi. She’s my light.”

“So theres nothing…” Yoongi started and Jihoon shook his head.

“Not since Y/N came into the picture. She makes me forget the pain I went through and I’m pretty sure I’d do anything for her at this point.” Jihoon said as he watched you chug another glass. He knew that he’d have to step in soon if you wanted to remotely make it to class tomorrow as well as your dance practice with Hoseok who had been limiting himself to only a few drinks and a lot of water.

“Ji!!” Seungcheols called out as the two producers saw you tap out and was currently being held up by Jin and Joshua who were laughing at your state. It was obvious none of them were worried as you were surrounded by people who cared about you and wouldn’t let anything happen to you. But that didn’t mean that they wanted to care for your drunk ass since you had a boyfriend to do that.

“And this is where I come in.” Jihoon said putting his drink down.

“Take her to her room to make sure she’s okay. You can stay the night if you want, I trust you.” Yoongi said with a nod and Jihoon chuckled.

“It’s not like I haven’t spent the night before.” he said and Yoongi snorted.

“Yea, but you were both sober and working at the time. Now my sisters drunk beyond compared and you’re her boyfriend. It’s different. I’ll check on you guys later on.”

“Sounds good. I’ll talk to you later.” Jihoon said as he made his way over to the group of gamers and wrapped his arm around your waist.

“How’s my little birthday girl?” he asked as you looked up at him smiling drunkedly giggling.

“There you are!” you said leaning into his shoulder and inhaling his scent, “You weren’t supposed to leave me tonight...now look at what they did to me” you whined with a pout and Jihoon chuckled as he slowly lead you away from everyone after saying good night.

“I’ve stocked your room with bottled water which you are going to drink for me before you pass out and I’ve also toweled your bathroom just incase we have a puking accident.” he said as he opened the door to your room and placed you on the couch sitting up.

“Look at you all boyfriendly already.” you said giggling leaning into his chest as he handed you a bottle of water. “I don’t think I’ll puke though… I didn’t drink that much...”

“We’ll see what happens after you drink the water okay?” he said knowing exactly how much you drank that night. He was already amazed that you had yet to puke but he was told by Yoongi that you and Jimin tend to drink on the regular so your tolerance was fairly high.

You finished half a bottle before letting out a sigh, finding comfort in Jihoons presence and scent. “I’m really happy you know that?” you asked tiredly as you felt Jihoon place a kiss on the crown of your head.

“Why is that?”

“Because, I got the bestest birthday present I could ever ask for.” you muttered drunkedly as your head started dropping and Jihoon couldn’t help but chuckle as the smile he had on his face grew. “I got to spend it with my family and best friends for the first time in two years...and Jihoonie too.”

“I’m glad you let me spend your birthday with you” he said as he noticed something was off, “And I told you that you were going to puke.” he stated right as you shot up to run to your bathroom and emptied your stomach.

Jihoon wasn’t that far behind you to hold your hair back and was glad that he put towels on the floor cause once you were done, you wouldn’t get up.

“Come on baby, we need to get you up and in bed.” he said gently as you refused to move.

“You called me baby.” you said tiredly and Jihoon had to hold in his laugh. You were so adorable when you were drunk and he was happy that he was one of the few people who got to witness this.

“Well you are. You’re my Y/N baby as of today.” he said lifting you up and carrying you back to your room once he was sure you were done puking.

“Does that mean our anniversary is on my birthday?” you muffled into his shoulders.

“That would be correct.” he said placing you on the couch and gave you an extra large t-shirt he knew that you wore to sleep. “Can you change yourself?”

He turned around when you nodded your head and went through his phone to see various texts from the guys checking in on your situation.

“Does that mean that I’ll be sad on my birthday if we ever break up?” you asked sadly and Jihoon whipped his head around quickly thanking that you had changed already and was at your side in an instant.

“Well, thats never going to happen so you don’t have to worry about that.” he reassured as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder, pulling you to him. “You’re too special to me for me to let you go that easily.”

“Even with Hana here?” you asked leaning on his chest to not meet his eyes and he felt his heart clench at the sound of insecurity.

“Never. You showed me a lot of things Hana never did. You’ve pushed me to come out of my shell for the first time in two years and to work harder as a producer. You’re a miracle that’s come into my life and I never want to let you go.” he answered stroking your hair gently which was in fact lulling you to sleep.

“Promise?” you asked softly and Jihoon knew that you were starting to doze off.

“I promise” he whispered and continued to stroke your hair and pretty soon, he heard your quiet snores signifying that you were now asleep.

Every so gently, he lifted you up bridal style and moved you to your bed to place you down softly and cover you with your blanket but before he could get up again, you clung to his wrist.

“Stay…” you pleaded quietly and Jihoon smiled looking at your cute pouty face.

“Okay” he whispered and took off his shoes and laid down on top of the blankets with one hand intertwined with yours and that was how Yoongi and Jin found the two of you later once the party had died down.

Your two older brothers looked at each other with drunken smiles, content that you had found someone who could care for you as much as they did. That was all they wanted.

#Woozi #woozi imagine #bts #bts imagine #woozi fiction #kpop #kpop fiction #kpop imagine #jihoon #lee jihoon #jihoon imagine #jihoon fiction #seventeen imagine #seventeen #seventeen fiction

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meltedhorror · 5 years

Text

Midsommar; as reviewed by me, a Swede

Okay so! Finally got around to writing this. This might be a long post, but oh well. Obvious spoiler warning.

For those who don’t know, I’m a Swede, born and raised in Sweden, having celebrated Midsummer every year that I’ve been on this earth. So needless to say - I would dare to say I know a bit about Midsummer. BUT I will admit that I may not be the very most knowledgable about how it was celebrated in the past and the exact origins about it. But I’ll try my best.

SO IMPORTANT TO KNOW BEFORE WE START TALKING ABOUT HOW THEY HANDLED MY CULTURE IN THE MOVIE.

Midsummer (in Swedish Midsommar) is the celebration of the fertilization of the earth, or the world being reborn anew. The celebration is to ask the gods/spirits to bless us with a good year of harvest and to keep our animals healthy. And thats the rough explanation of it.

So lets get into the movie stuff and see what they got accurate, no?

When our main cast arrive in Sweden and get to... I forgot the name of the place they went to-- I have relatives who come from there. Anyway, they are greeted with people doing drugs, drinking mushroom tea (also drugs) and being greeted by the multiple day celebration and preparation for Midsummer.

I don’t know how it is in other countries, but yes some people do make tea on special mushrooms here, and you do get high on it. You get these mushrooms from cow or horse shit, cause they grow in that, and then you make tea of it. It causes mostly hallucinations. I have friends who do it and I’ve been offered it a few times as well.

I don’t really know how every single person in this country spends their days before Midsummer, some may very well be hanging out doing drugs. But thats not really something majority of people do (surprise surprise).

When it comes to celebrating for a longer time.

It depends on where you are in the country. Some people make a huge thing out of it, celebrating sometimes the entire month, while others (like me) only spend like two days preparing and one day celebrating. It really depends on the people, how many are attending each separate celebration, and if its a local community centre (hembygdsgård in Swedish) thats holding the celebration.

What you do during this preparing time is things like building the majstång (dunno the translation tbh), make the food, depending on where you are make the special clothes for each participant, and a lot of girls pick flowers (we’ll get into that later).

So.. The clothes?

Yes! So we see people wearing these special clothes in the movie, and in this case they’re completely white and have runes on them. Again this depends on where you are and how you celebrate Midsummer if you actually wear these clothes.

Many hembygdsgårdar have them, and a lot of people do wear these clothes. But they come in many variants!

As you can probably tell, we don’t wear just plain white, but dress pretty colourful for the occasion!

You’d also probably wear a flower crown if you celebrated. Me and my mom always used to make flowercrowns for Midsummer when I was a kid, although they always came out very bad lmfao

So the midsommarstång or majstång?

Ah yes, can’t forget the main piece of the event! And I’m so glad they got it accurate in the movie! Or... Accurate with minor changes lmfao

(I couldn’t find a better picture I’m sorry)

So in the other two images that are not from the movie, we also have this centre piece I guess I could call it. This is the most important thing in our celebration, and it comes in two variant. The classic symbolism one (I will explain don’t worry) and one thats just a leafy pole with ribbons coming from the top.

The version we see in the movie however is the most common and has huge symbolism. What they did change about it though is that they put runes in the rings, which to my knowledge no one has ever done in this day and age, nor in the past.

BUT ANYWAY THE SYMBOLISM, DAMN I GET OFF TRACK FAST.

Remember how I said Midsummer is the celebration of the rebirth of the earth? The majstång symbolises a penis and a vagina, going into the ground to fertilize the earth and give life anew. Yes. We dance around a massive dick and coochie, what do you do during your summer?

The majstång is made of wood and leafy branches and a lot of the time is held together with steel wire or other sticks that are more bendable. And in my opinion? They nailed it in the movie.

I mentioned the girls picking flowers.

Okay so the day before Midsummer (I’m pretty sure at least) the girls would go out to pick flowers. But you have to do it in a certain way (which I don’t remember honestly) and you have to pick seven types of flowers. You have to walk backwards, and climb and walk a roof, and jump a gärdsgård (type of fence), and... Thats about what I remember.

What you do with these flowers after that is you put them beneath your pillow, and go to sleep before midnight, and then you’ll dream of your future lover.

Did I do this even though I’m a guy? Yes. Did it ever work? Hm... Not sure.

So what do the guys do? I honestly don’t really remember. I’m pretty sure you just go about your day as normal and help with chores and stuff. I might be wrong though.

They do this weird thing with their hands...

So throughout the movie you see the Swedes doing jazz hands I guess you could describe it the best. I’ve given it some thought, and I’m pretty sure what they’re doing is doing a forest clap, or a silent clap. I don’t know how it is in other countries but-

So basically when you’re out in nature you don’t want to disturb it, or you just don’t want to make a lot of noise, you can clap your hands like that. It means the same thing.

How do I know? Cause we got to learn two types of forest claps in school when I was a kid when we were out looking at rocks that got fucked when the great ice moved across the land.

So it might look weird, and I do admit it IS weird, but they are essentially just clapping their hands at things.

Okay, so how about the runes and learning runes?

In the movie they talk about how all the kids learn runes and how they write in runes. This is not something we do, obviously. But we do learn runes in school! Believe it or not, there was a time when I could write fluent runes and translate Swedish into runes.

They also talk about the runes having a great power. And this is actually interesting!

Back in the days of the Vikings, when we wrote in runes for real, they believed that the runes had powers and that if you etched the runes in with a weapon, either the rune got power of the weapon did (don’t remember which one). Thats why the runes do not have curved lines, because it was both difficult to make curves with something you slash at a rock or piece of wood, and you wouldn’t get as much power out of the rune/weapon.

Some runes have specific meanings, but majority of runes you’ll learn or see are just plain out letter you use to create words.

Runes are not inherently connected with Midsummer in the sense they want it to in the movie.

They made two old people jump off a cliff and die.

Okay so me being ever so slightly uncultured didn’t really know what this was either until I watched the movie, however my mom did.

Ättestupa was a way of punishing people, more specifically criminals. Once sentenced to have committed a crime, you could be thrown off this cliff and people would gather around to watch this. Think beheading in France, but instead you throw someone off a cliff.

That’s what my mom knows about it, and we actually live pretty close to one of these spots. However I’m a bit unsure if that was the only thing, as Google wants to tell me otherwise. They may very well have made old people jump, or them deciding themselves to jump.

But I can guarantee this has absolutely nothing to do with Midsummer.

So... THAT scene...

You know what I’m talking about. That one scene that got the entire audience to laugh uncontrollably in my case.

First thing I have to mention about this is that they state she’s Byxmynding, which they did explain as of legal age to have sex in the movie. And thats exactly what it is. Its the age of consent, or rather when you turn the age of consent. You become Byxmynding.

This age is 15 here in Sweden, and it is not legal for someone above the age of 18 to have sex with someone who is 15.

I just wanted to throw that out there.

Now obviously here’s where we step away from what is true and what is fiction and just horror. But I will also say that I’m pretty sure somewhere I’ve read that in the past that during Midsummer there would be orgies to celebrate the rebirth of the earth.

Don’t take my word for it, I may be wrong. But I’m pretty sure that was a thing.

Nowadays a lot of new age people in this country do that however.

The dude hanging from the ceiling with his lungs out his back.

This was a way of torture during the Viking age. You could either do this from the chest or from the back, but the intention was to make it look like you had wings as you were slowly dying.

The dancing around the majstång and the food.

This is something we do, we do dance around the majstång to music. As for the whole dance until you can’t stand anymore because myth of girls dancing to their death thing, I can’t confirm it and I can’t deny it. Its probably something pretty accurate, and I want to remember actually hearing that as a kid when we celebrated in school.

When we dance, depending on where, the people, etc etc, you may have a live band playing things like the fiddle, accordion, guitar, flute, things like that. Or you may just put on a recording of Små Grodorna and jump around to that.

We dance around for a while to the music, maybe play games during it, and then we finish to go eat with our family/friends/other people (Depending how you celebrate)

What we eat is things like herring, surströmming, boiled potatoes, eggs, knäckebröd... Maybe other things too. Personally I’m no big fan of the fish thats served and I usually just eat smoked salmon that I brought myself so I won’t starve.

So... What are my final thoughts about this movie?

I actually really enjoyed it! I could tell they put in good amount of research to make this, and thats always appreciated. Of course Midsummer as a normal thing here is not scary or horrific like in the movie. What I would describe what we see in the movie is cultish, and almost mixed with new age in a way.

They did a great job of depicting it as something strange and twisted, even to an audience who has been raised with this celebration.

I also really appreciate that they hired Swedish actors and actually spoke real Swedish!! It did so much for the movie to me, unlike other films set in Sweden (cough cough The Ritual fuck you thats not Swedish). I don’t know if English speaking who don’t know Swedish get English subtitles on the parts they speak Swedish, but it still does so much. And the dialogue didn’t feel forced or strangely translated, it felt... Natural. Even in a creepy way. But I will admit that a lot of the line delivery was very stiff and robotic.

I enjoyed it. As strange as it is, I enjoyed it.

Oh also the singing you hear throughout I’m pretty sure is a weird mix of Joik, which isn’t inherently Swedish, but eh who cares at this point

#Midsommar #Horror movie #Horror #Midsommar movie #ItsaMeMals #ItsaMeMicke #Sweden #Swedish #Review #Horror review

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scribblesofanaricat · 4 years

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The Middle

(title taken from the Jimmy Eat World song of the same name (I posted this yesterday and then realised it was the rough unedited version, so I panic-deleted it hhhhhh- ;-;))

Louise has always liked the sound doors make when slammed. To her, the way it rings out shouts on her behalf for the world to go to Hell.

It’s her so-called kitchen cupboards this time, each one jerked open and then flung shut at least twice over, as if something worth eating will magically materialise in there if she just looks again. As if she hasn’t gone through this whole song and dance a hundred times by now.

Stupid.

In the end, she resigns herself to shoving a couple of squashed, half-stale pieces of bread into the clunky toaster, arms aching up to her shoulders in protest. Just another day. Hours and hours of getting pushed around by managers who wear their fancy watches like the bloody crown jewels, made to take care of other people’s work as well as her own without a word of thanks, screamed and sworn at down the phone over things that’re (well) above her pay grade – and, worse than anything, called by that name, the one she’s told them isn’t hers…but it conveniently keeps slipping their minds anyway.

So the usual crap, really.

A crooked smile tugs at the corners of Louise’s lips. All of that – day in, day out – for the sake of this shoebox of a flat, not worth the paper the lease was drawn up on, and whatever’s on clearance at the supermarket. It’s so stupid.

But…maybe not for much longer. Maybe. She rubs the bridge of her nose between stiff fingers, her mind turning its back on the never-ending daily grind, on the limp combover of the mouth-breathing landlord who’d make a better magpie than a human and the gutters clogged with burnt-out cigarette ends and dirty needles. It wanders through new lands of the kind that’ve sneered down at people like her for so long. New streets she can stroll down without snotty faces glaring at her back and new alleys that’re safe to cut through. And…if she can just do this, then she’ll finally have a chance to pursue that part of herself which everyone who thinks it’s their business have always dangled out of her reach, that body, that identity-

BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP

Louise jerks like some kid just let off a firework right next to her. Grey smoke curls through the measly excuse for a kitchen, pricking its fingers into her eyes. She snatches up a tea towel from the pile on the floor and flaps at the smoke alarm with it like a lunatic (while muttering every curse she knows through her teeth) until the stupid shrieking finally dies down.

And – she lets out a mirthless snort at the sight, burying both hands in her hair – of course, of course the toast has decided to burn to a crisp. In one movement, she rips the slices out of the toaster, even though the heat sears into her bare skin, and tosses them across the room into the bin. Whatever. She’ll survive.

Because that’s what Louise has always had to do. Survive. Especially when it became more and more obvious that nobody was planning on swooping in to help anytime soon.

Stupid…so, so stupid.

An hour or two later, curled up on the mangy sofa patterned like an old biddy’s blouse (where the landlord got his hands on something so horrible, Louise never wants to know), she wonders idly what all those managers are dining on tonight. Probably salmon or something, with posh chocolates to stuff their smug faces with afterwards and congratulate themselves on how hard they’ve worked to get there.

After all, the lot of them probably think as the next course is delivered on nothing less than a silver plate, nobody ever handed anything to me on a plate. Because they’re obviously the ones who have to fight tooth and nail every single day just to make some sort of life for themselves – with all the odds stacked against them right from the start to boot.

Ha.

Louise mechanically tugs the blankets a bit higher around herself in a half-hearted effort to both hold back the urge to beat her fists against the floor like a toddler and block out the familiar chill in the air. How likely is it that she has enough left in her wallet to pick up some food and (gasp) top up the gas meter? Somehow, she thinks not very.

That’s a nice little snag, isn’t it? She tries hard too. From the second she pries herself out of bed ‘til she can finally crawl back into it; even then, she lies awake time and time again, tormenting herself over the bills and the bugs. Yet who’s busy snatching up the rewards for all that? For the long grinding hours, the festering rubbish pile stinking up the street corner and gaggles of teenagers dogging her every step with slurs and threats whenever she has to wade through it, for bloody everything? Who wins? The system, always. Leeching off the blood and sweat and tears of all the ones who can’t protect themselves, because the damn thing has no face and a million faces at the same time.

That system, and everyone who pulls its strings and makes it dance its little dance, is just plain broken – maybe beyond repair at this point. And stupid. So very stupid. Why should she pander to it?

Reality comes to bite Louise yet again, this time in the form of BANG after muffled BANG, juddering the ceiling above her head. The people responsible – and she knows damn well who – aren’t troubling to keep their voices down, either.

Something spikes hot as lava in her chest. She hurls the blankets away, slams her hand down on the tatty arm of the sofa, pushes herself to her feet. No. No, nope, no. Not this, not tonight.

Within seconds, she’s out of her flat and up the dingy stairs (who’d they pull in as an interior designer? Batman?) onto the next floor. Before she can hammer on the door of Flat 3B and bellow shut it!, though, one of its denizens comes staggering out, clothes hanging off her and reeking of sweat.

She gnashes her teeth as soon as she spots Louise standing there with her fists clenched. ‘Don’ yer go puttin’ yer dir’y fingers anywhere near our door.’ The words are a lot less impressive than the old bat probably thinks. For one thing, they’re the kind of garbled that can only come from the bottom of a bottle; for another, the precious door she’s so protective of is already chipped and dented to all hell.

‘Are you really this thick or are you just too bladdered to get it through your skull?’ Louise retorts, chin jutting. Her shoulder gives another reproachful twinge as she stabs her finger in the direction of her own flat on the floor below. ‘Nice for the pair of you that you’ve worked out how to turn into a herd of elephants every bloody night, but none of us want to hear it.’

The other woman’s bloodshot eyes widen, face wheeling through an interesting spectrum of reds. ‘Yer think yer c’n stan’ there an’ tell me what ter do, do yer? DO YER? Yer little…yer stupid…fag!’

There it is. The low blow. It doesn’t send Louise reeling anymore; she’s been living with it way too long for that. Doesn’t stop it from being something that always manages to pierce the armour she’s had to build around herself, though.

She knows fine well what kind of poison everyone drips about her – muttered into the backs of their hands or hollered in her face, it’s all the same. Still, she wouldn’t have thought a bit of peace would really be so much to ask for. Another thing she must be wrong about.

So she turns and walks away, the mixture of gleeful cackles and slurred threats from behind her breaking through the brittle air. Sounds like Louise can expect egg splattered onto every inch of her own door tomorrow morning.

She just loves it when her neighbours greet her with breakfast. What a friendly, cosy little community the lot of them have here.

That flare of satisfaction darts through her veins again when she kicks her door shut. It makes the raging storm inside her audible and helps her to blot out the outside world as best she can. Who cares if someone out there might hear her? Who listens anyway?

Nobody. That’s who.

Louise stands there for a few minutes, just stands, with ringing ears. Her head gives a random little spasm in a certain direction. Maybe some twisted part of her is just instinctively drawn to it at this point.

She doesn’t want to. But as if by a magnet, her gaze is dragged over there anyway – towards the mirror hanging askew across the room. She puts it off for as long as she can, picking restlessly a pockmark on the frame. Mirrors. She hates them. All they’ve ever done is show her…this.

Her eyes zero in on everything humanly possible. From tracing every wrong curve in her face, every wrong line of her chest and shoulders and legs, and right down to marking the size and shape of her hands- God, it’s all wrong- and stupid, stupid-

The air’s too thick.

Her hands clasp themselves together over her head as if to somehow shield her. There’s no hiding from the prickling beneath her skin. Not right now. Even so, her legs begin to carry her up and down. Up and down. A bit like what’s going on inside her head.

Just a little bit extra a month. That’s all she needs. Her heart picks up speed at that thought. Nine pounds for the mirror to reflect back at her the image she’s wanted so much, for so long. And then…and then…what? What then?

Louise slowly lowers her hands, staring at the dusty specks swirling their sluggish way through the air without really seeing them. She knows how the world views her – hell, more like looks down on her. Why should she expect some injections, no matter how precious they are to her, to burst whatever nice thick bubble they’re all living in?

(So very stupid.)

But that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t.

The sofa cushions catch her as the bones seem to disappear out of her legs. She will not end up like her mother: ducking in and out of people’s lives, spending her days glued to godawful chat shows, running away at the tiniest bit of hassle. And besides…soon, there won’t be any need for tossing and turning at night over stuff like the pitch of her voice. Or the awkward hang of her clothes. Or strangers throwing her a death stare in the street and tugging their kids away from her, like she’s about to eat the little darlings alive when all she’s trying to do is get home. Soon, she’ll be tearing down the barriers they think they can obstruct her with.

She clutches the bundle of blankets against her empty stomach and clings onto that promise.

Stares, from every corner. They burn into the back of her head and follow her into the room until she pushes the door shut in their faces with one clumsy hand. The other just about manages to keep hold of the papers.

Those papers.

The interviewer hardly bothers to glance up at Louise. Obviously she’s just another little bump in his morning, another bit of business for him to get rid of. She slaps on a smile (and tucks her fingers in as best she can to hide the frayed ends of her nails) all the same.

He gives a vague gesture, which she can only assume is his way of directing her to take the chair across from him – one of those stiff plastic jobs that look as if they were nicked from some preschool, which is just great – without wasting his breath on her. Somehow, she plants herself down on it while miraculously avoiding actually biting her tongue in two. This place should hire her just for that, she reflects grimly.

Now here it is. The Moment, as Louise has been calling it. She blows out a shuddery breath and slackens her grip on the papers, instead sliding them across the table. One is her CV. Meagre, hastily compiled, but at least it has Louise Deegan printed on in black and white.

And the other…the other is her birth certificate. Which says something different. Different in a way she can hardly bring herself to look at.

His Highandmightyness glances over both, expression never so much as twitching. Until it does. Louise watches with a tight throat. She’s used to this: the moment where the penny drops and people cotton on to who – or what, since this one thing tends to automatically brand her as something subhuman in their eyes – they’ve got in front of them.

If only that could make it any easier. If bloody only.

He says nothing. He’s probably not allowed to. Not to her face, anyway. Something in the room still shifts, as though the table separating them has suddenly grown another twenty feet. Louise is used to that too. All those faces thinking how much better than her they are. It’s just…stupid.

She jumps through the usual hoops: her (short) employment history, why she wants to leave her current job (she thought up some generic answer ahead of time) and the rest. She needs this. So badly. Yet there he sits, not taking the trouble to nod at anything she says, letting silence hang between them as soon as he’s asked all the questions on his little script.

Then he finally sees fit to raise his head – but it’s like he’s looking straight through Louise, at the grey and ivory wallpaper behind her. Her heart throws itself against the cage of her chest. Sweat creeps across her clenched palms.

His words are cool and steady; careful, even. But they fall like a hammer blow. ‘I believe I’ve heard enough for now. If you could close the door on your way out?’

His monotone ‘thank you for thinking of us’ spiel rushes past Louise’s ears like the water she dipped her head into this morning (how else could she make any attempt at scrubbing her hair when the landlord won’t get off his arse and fix her shower?). She barely remembers to retrieve those fatal papers before she all but dives back into the waiting room, where that sea of withering stares surges higher and higher, freezing every limb so she can’t even smash her knuckles into those stupid faces, blurring her vision, smothering her nose and mouth…

It always circles back to this. No matter what she tries to do; no matter how many backbreaking days or sleepless nights she passes. Here she is again, slumped at the same old table while muffled thuds and drunken bawling from the floor above echo around her skull and a phone she doesn’t think will be ringing anytime soon watches her from the corner. The same old bills are spread out in front of her, cold as a death warrant. And the same old tears sting her eyes.

Stupid. So stupid.

#my scribbles #mine #lgbtqa plus #trans/nonbinary characters #tw transphobia #tw slurs #repost because i'm dumb #original writing #writeblr

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zrtranscripts · 5 years

Text

Season 8, Mission 4: Radio Ga Ga

Dark waters rising

SAM YAO: Uh, guys, can you see the radio tower yet? Storm's still interfering with my cams. I mean, uh, not that it's not nice that it's died down a bit.

PAULA COHEN: Yeah, sheltering in a cozy cottage eating biscuits and looking at a storm does feel less great when, on top of everything else, there's a homicidal maniac on the loose and every day lost to bad weather is a day less your friend has until nanites destroy her body.

SHONA: How long does she have now?

SAM YAO: Oh, 21 days, I guess.

PAULA COHEN: Maybe a little more if she rests.

SHONA: The chief has the whole island on alert for Jones. Wherever he's hiding, he'll have to come out sometime, and when he does, we will find him. For you and for us.

TOM DE LUCA: Visual on a pylon two clicks away.

PAULA COHEN: It's perched on a flat-topped rock jutting out of the sea. Looks like the potato mountain from Close Encounters of the Third Kind.

SHONA: [laughs] Close encounters of the what?

PAULA COHEN: Oh Shona, don't make me feel old.

SAM YAO: Right. Well, we can use the radio tower to get a signal to Abel.

SHONA: We've got a guy, Gavin. Stays out here to maintain it. It's cut off from Mor Island from the sea except for twice a month when the water is low. See that land bridge? It'll only be here for an hour.

PAULA COHEN: Well, we'll be able to let Peter talk to Janine. I can't wait to speak to Maxie. To everyone, really. I said we'd be home in a week.

TOM DE LUCA: We will be home soon. Jones can't have left Mor Island. The chief took his boat. And there aren't any others on the island that would have had a chance of making it through the storm. We'll find him, and the cure for Janine.

SAM YAO: The locals have set me up in the old post office. I can see a bunch of them on the village green, organizing into search parties.

SHONA: Folk on Mor Island don't forgive and they never forget.

SAM YAO: All right, everyone. You're going to run across the land bridge, access the control hut, tune into Abel's frequency, and get back before the tide comes in. Now the last thing we want is for you to get cut off by the rising water.

TOM DE LUCA: Stay focused and run!

[waves crash]

SHONA: Watch your step. It's blowing a hooley. If you slip, the waves will bash you against the cliffs and the barnacles will rip you to shreds.

SAM YAO: Yeah, probably best not to dwell on that.

PAULA COHEN: That's the control shack up ahead, at the bottom of the cliff?

SAM YAO: Yeah. You can set up comms from there. You're halfway across the land bridge now, so just keep going.

SHONA: Gavin'll help. We tried to radio ahead to say we're coming, but the storm mucked up our signal.

PAULA COHEN: What are those metal spikes sticking out of the sea?

SHONA: Oh, there used to be an actual bridge to the island, but it disintegrated. Those are what's left of the struts. Last May, a sheep got stranded on the rock. It panicked, ran off, and well... [laughs]

TOM DE LUCA: Lamb kebabs. Okay. We can see our target? Everyone run!

[rain pours]

PAULA COHEN: Made it over the land bridge. There's the – [shouts]

TOM DE LUCA: Paula!

PAULA COHEN: I'm fine! Fine. Slipped on some seaweed. It's thick here.

SHONA: Aye. This bit's under the sea most of the time. The control hut's over there, above the high water level.

TOM DE LUCA: I hope we can establish a connection. I promised Janine I'd get a message to Peter.

PAULA COHEN: It's so funny. I've been putting this to the back of my mind all day, but now we're close, I've got butterflies. Oh, I hope Sara's okay.

SAM YAO: Maxine'll have everything under control. But I know what you mean.

TOM DE LUCA: Approaching the control hut. It's in poor condition.

SAM YAO: Can you get inside?

[chains clink]

TOM DE LUCA: Door's chained shut.

PAULA COHEN: Looking in the window. Oh, someone's deliberately smashed the equipment.

SHONA: Jones! Has to be. And there's no sign of Gavin.

TOM DE LUCA: The equipment might be salvageable. Stand back. Five, kick the door in!

[Runner Five kicks door down, zombie growls, SHONA screams]

PAULA COHEN: Zombie! Get back, everyone.

SHONA: Oh God, Gavin!

TOM DE LUCA: We have no cure! We can transmit to Abel from the pylon's primary controls. Up the path, now!

PAULA COHEN: Oh, we're at the top of the path, Sam. Oh, fantastic view from up here! You can see the whole archipelago.

SHONA: Aye. Look at that. Shining beauty of the Far Hebrides. There's Dearg Island where the scientists live, and wee [?] Isle. There's [?] Island. We don't go there anymore. It's full of zombies. Look, there's [?] with the cairn of stones. [?], [?].

SAM YAO: Okay, sorry to break up the sightseeing, but the zom's gaining. You can McShell it over.

SHONA: Oh, aye. You told me about that. Herding zombies.

TOM DE LUCA: You've got the idea. Shona, you and Five break right, Paula and I will go left. On my signal, break!

SAM YAO: Great job, guys! The zom's going, going... and it stopped, teetering on the edge of the cliff.

TOM DE LUCA: Five, kick it!

[zombie falls]

SAM YAO: Oh, wow. It's impaled on one of the rusty bridge struts. I hesitate to say nice shot, Five, but uh...

SHONA: Is Gavin still alive?

SAM YAO: Uh, well... no. That's sort of the thing about zombies, really.

SHONA: I mean, is he still moving?

PAULA COHEN: Yes, but uh, it's stuck there.

TOM DE LUCA: We've lost a lot of time. The water's rising on the causeway.

SAM YAO: Get to the radio tower on the summit. You should be able to patch in to Abel from there.

PAULA COHEN: Shona, are you all right?

SHONA: I don't know. That was Gavin. He didn't say much, but he was really kind. He used to carry me on his shoulders when I was a kid.

PAULA COHEN: I'm so sorry.

SHONA: It was just... the way he looked. Weak, rotting. Pathetic.

PAULA COHEN: We've been there, Shona. It never gets easy. The tide's going to turn soon. We have to move.

[rain pours, door creaks shut]

SHONA: We're inside the pylon, Sam.

PAULA COHEN: I've got it. The equipment's old, but workable. Just a sec.

[radio static]

SAM YAO: Hello, Abel. Come in, Abel.

MAXINE MYERS: Sam? Is that you?

PAULA COHEN: Maxie! Can you hear me?

MAXINE MYERS: Paula! Thank God! I knew you were all right, but oh, it's so good to hear your voice.

PAULA COHEN: Are you okay? How's Sara?

MAXINE MYERS: I'm fine. Sara's, uh -

SAM YAO: Sara's what, Maxie?

MAXINE MYERS: No, I'm sorry. No, she's okay. She's asking for you both. She wakes me up in the night asking for you.

TOM DE LUCA: Dr. Myers?

MAXINE MYERS: Tom! How's Janine? And are you okay?

TOM DE LUCA: I'm fine. Janine, not so good. But stable for the moment. Is Peter there? I promised Janine I'd pass him a message.

MAXINE MYERS: Peter's um... indisposed. Nothing serious! Well, not for him, anyway. Most people would need more than a nap after disemboweling themselves. Oh, and I have an urgent message to play you.

[static]

SAM YAO: Hello? Maxine? Uh, the transmission's gone.

TOM DE LUCA: The cable's come loose in the gale. It's hanging off the rock outside.

SAM YAO: Yeah, that'd do it. Five, run down there, grab the cable, and plug it in.

[rain pours, cable clicks]

SAM YAO: Great job, Five. That's the cable back in place, and... yeah, we've got a signal. And if you fasten it with clips, it won't come undone again. [clips click] Great work. Now run back around. I'll keep you patched in.

MAXINE MYERS: What happened? Is everything okay?

SAM YAO: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I've secured the connection.

MAXINE MYERS: Oh, that's great. Now promise to send my love to Jody and Ellie.

SAM YAO: [sighs] Yeah. Maxie, a lot's happened since we arrived. I'll fill you in, but the others have to go.

MAXINE MYERS: Um, oh. Okay. Um, wait! I have a message from the Prime Minister. Your ears only.

SAM YAO: From, from Amelia? I mean, we're running out of time, here.

MAXINE MYERS: She said it was extremely urgent.

AMELIA SPENS: Hello, Janine and friends. I do hope you're enjoying your little island jaunt. You'll be pleased to know that the red fungus zombie problem is well under control. Some threads of fungus were found on a beach. We destroyed them. I'd love to tell you how, uh, because it was a rather brilliant idea of mine, but it's a government secret. You understand.

Anyway, I've got a highly important assignment for you. Could you send me some crates of smoked salmon? The stuff on the mainland isn't the same. Thanks!

MAXINE MYERS: Okay... well, I swear I had no idea that that was the "urgent message". I can't believe we wasted our comms time with that. Paula? I love you. Everyone else? I love you, too.

PAULA COHEN: Five? You keep going as you are. We'll see you back at the land bridge. Run.

[rain pours]

PAULA COHEN: Five, over here! Sam, Five's rejoined us. We're at the foot of the cliff by the radio shack and the tide's coming in fast.

TOM DE LUCA: Look. Foot of the cliff. Two zoms pulling themselves out of the sea.

PAULA COHEN: It's okay. We'll be gone before they get here.

TOM DE LUCA: They're not coming for us. They're going for the radio shack. Oh, of course! I should have recognized it when I saw it. Wait here!

PAULA COHEN: Tom? What are you – nope. No, he's off.

SAM YAO: What is he doing?

SHONA: He's run back over to the radio shack.

SAM YAO: Yeah, but why?

TOM DE LUCA: I found it!

SHONA: What's he waggling in the air?

TOM DE LUCA: I saw it before in the wreckage but didn't register it. It's a zombie-attracting device like the one Jones planted at Abel!

PAULA COHEN: I think you're right. Those zoms are heading towards us now. Quick, Tom, stamp on it!

[device breaks]

TOM DE LUCA: That's disabled it! I'll take the parts back to examine later.

SHONA: Are you saying Lachlan planted something here to deliberately attract zoms? He got Gavin bitten on purpose?

SAM YAO: That's what it looks like.

TOM DE LUCA: Those zoms are still heading our way and the tide's coming in. We need to head back now.

SAM YAO: I'll tell Janine to get the local leaders together for a council of war. If Jones has one zombie attractor, he could have two. Or dozens. Whatever his plan here is, it looks like it involves killing a lot of innocent people.

Note: I am currently experiencing technical difficulties and cannot access the season 8 map. As soon as I can, I will update this transcript with the missing place names. Thank you for your patience!

#zombies run #zrs8 #s8m4 #radio ga ga #zr transcript #zrs8 spoilers

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jerseydeanne · 6 years

Text

Roseberrycupcakes~Addiction can be to anything ~sharing her personal journey with us

Regarding the drug speculation:

While JD and Skippy were respectful enough not to fuel false claims of Harry’s drug problems, I understand that there were other platforms (like the comment sections of multiple news outlets) that allowed such malicious speculations to continue. While only Harry knows what he’s up to every day, allow me to prove with objective and logical evidence that he’s not abusing illicit substances.

Those who falsely accuse Harry of drug use seem to use a picture of his dilated pupils at a recent engagement and his noticeable weight loss as “proofs.” While it’s true that certain illegal drugs cause dilated pupils and/or weight loss, abductive reasoning cannot be applied in this case. For one, while illicit substances like marijuana and cocaine CAN cause dilated pupils, many other innocuous medications have the same effects. Allergy and cold medications like antihistamines, ADHD medication like methylphenidate, tricyclic antidepressant like Elavil are just some of the oral medications that can cause pupils to dilate. Besides oral medications, there are eye drops that dilate pupils called mydriatics. Mydriatics are often used in ophthalmologic exams like fundoscopy. I don’t know which was the case for Harry, but I do know that it’s a hasty judgment to accuse someone of drug use based on one picture of dilated pupils.

If there are those, who want to insist that Harry IS using illegal drugs, allow me to remind you: cocaine may cause weight loss, but marijuana causes WEIGHT GAIN. Therefore, if his enemies want to use weight loss in conjunction with his dilated pupils, they would be accusing him of cocaine abuse, which is far serious than cannabis use. With films like The Wolf of the Wall Street, even the general public is aware of the elites’ use and abuse of cocaine. While it is true that cocaine is an excellent stimulant and helps people under time crunch finish their jobs, it is quite ludicrous to suggest that Harry would feel tempted to use such substance often enough for its effect to show during a public engagement for the following reasons:

#1. Cocaine is not a cigarette. It’s a substance capable of inducing behavior changes. If Harry were a shy introvert suddenly displaying over-the-top behaviors, these false accusations might have some legitimacy; but from what I know, Harry was always someone who’s outgoing and friendly. Unless his enemies are trying to suggest that he’s been abusing cocaine for years (which doesn’t hold ground, because he only lost a noticeable amount of weight during his short “relationship” with Ms. Markle), his mannerisms don’t support cocaine use.

#2. Pupils are often compared to camera lenses; they control the amount of light that comes in. That’s why our pupils constrict under bright lights; remember the times you used to look up at the sun when you were young (and not so young)? Intense brightness prevents our eyes from focusing properly; therefore, having dilated pupils from medications or from routine exams can be extremely uncomfortable to the patients themselves. In fact, patients are warned after fundoscopy to refrain from performing activities that require concentration (e.g., driving) for several hours. If Harry’s a drug user, he must know that his pupils dilate or at least that he’s uncomfortable under bright lights while under the effect of such drugs. As Harry’s engagements are not impromptu (at least not to him), why would he use drugs right before an event that requires him being under bright flashlights from multiple cameras?

#3. If the critics are still unconvinced, let me remind them that Harry’s a fully grown man working at public functions; yes, public figures are capable of drug use. I do not deny that, but to suggest that people around him are ignorant of his changes in behaviors or alleged substance abuse would be naive. Contrary to the popular assumption that people around Harry are “yes men,” I somehow doubt that. Harry’s not a politician or a businessman; he has a family reputation to uphold, and people who work for him know that. If Harry fails, they’re the first ones to be fired; therefore, even if they weren’t loyal to him on a personal basis, their job performance depends on his, and they would feel obligated to make sure he didn’t do anything compromising at a public function.

There was a reason I felt compelled to write out logical arguments against a silly claim. Even if Harry’s not the one suffering from drug addictions, people are reading these articles who ARE. Harry might be able to waive off those mean-spirited comments by saying their accusations are false; but what about the real addicts reading them? Who can lessen the shame these suffers feel while reading those comments that are actually relevant to THEM? Addiction is not something to be ashamed of; it’s something to be solved. The only shameful thing about addiction is the OTHER’s inclination to turn it into something shameful. The dangers of drug addictions don’t just lie in the drugs themselves; it’s the ADDICTION part that makes them so fatal and heartbreaking. Yet it’s sad how the society places emphasis on “drug” part of this massive problem. You can be addicted to literally anything these days–this is what makes addictions so dangerous.

As a physician, it’s a routine part of history taking to ask the patients if they drink or smoke. If the answer to either one or both is an affirmation, I’m required to educate them on the dangers of excessive drinking and smoking however mild and advise them–no, tell them–to quit; however knowing that quite a few doctors are the worst of the worst hypocrites in these cases, I like to educate my patients this way instead: “As a doctor, I’m morally and ethically obligated to talk about the dangers of drinking excessively and/or smoking and advise you to quit; but with my white coat off, let’s admit it–you can get addicted to anything these days. I can’t force you to quit something you don’t want to; because even if I can get you to, you can easily get addicted to something else. What I will tell you is that its ADDICTION and loss of self-control that makes anything and everything dangerous. If and when you want help, I’ll be here.” Practicing this repertoire was more effective than I originally anticipated. Because my patients didn’t feel ashamed to come forward with their problems, they were much more compliant. Even though I wasn’t their family physician who followed their progress, I knew they were doing well.

Like I said, you can get addicted to anything–with Hollywood scandals and #metoo movement, more people than ever are aware of sex addictions, but you can get addicted to even the most innocuous things. For me, it was food, specifically carbohydrates–bread, pasta, cookies, you name it. No one really noticed it; at most, my friends thought I was gluttonous when it came to junk food; everyone thought I was OK because I’m always the one supposed to be OK. Wherever I am, whoever I’m with, I was always the one listening. I’m the happy one. I’m the empathetic one. I’m the agreeable one. I’m the easy-going one. I’m the one asking how people are, how their day went, and what they want. While I knew some cared to an extent, I knew many–if not all–would freak out if they knew just how broken I felt. Everyone, even my family, though I was living a privileged life–a “perfect” life as my former best friend put it–and the instant I made any complaint, I was lambasted by my closest loved ones as being ungrateful or being naive. I couldn’t tell anyone–not even my then-boyfriend whom I deeply loved. If I tried to break out of the mold they made for me, they would accuse someone else of changing me: my family and friends would accuse my then-boyfriend, and he would accuse them. None of them realized that they were all perpetrators in forcing me into this box of a cheerful little sweetheart. Because I didn’t have an outlet, I turned inwards–I ate. I had no other way; I couldn’t drink, because even without the time constraints, it would have been fatal to practice medicine while under the influence. I couldn’t smoke, because reputations matter in hospitals. But no one can begrudge a hungry med student or a doctor for stuffing cookies when they’re studying/working ungodly hours.

No matter how innocent it seemed, I knew what I was doing was wrong. I felt ashamed, so much so that I would eat only when I was alone in my dorm or at my studio apartment; funny thing is, at the time of compulsion, the post-consumption shame seemed negligible. Soon, the vicious cycle began: eating to waive off shame, then another bout of shame following eating. My boyfriend at the time didn’t help either; if anything, he fueled it by insisting that we go out for a meal every night; he would buy boxes full of cookies and sweets instead of jewelry and/or flowers, and this was another point I wanted to make: wrong people, no matter how good their intentions may have been, will aggravate the issues you have. Indeed, shortly after I broke up with him, I went out for a meal, and I remember being shocked at the realization that I couldn’t eat the salmon steak in front of me, because it reminded me of the times I went out to Japanese restaurants with him. Whatever wave of nostalgia I may have felt at the time soon dissipated when I realized the wide array of food I couldn’t eat anymore without thinking of him. That’s how much I depended on eating to handle my stress at that chapter in my life.

The reason I disclosed my own experience with addiction was to demonstrate that even the most seemingly competent people can suffer from it. Like I illustrated in the above, Harry’s not suffering from drug addictions; but even if he were, it’s extremely cruel, not just to him but to other suffers, to make derogatory comments regarding the matter. ANYONE can suffer from addictions. If you feel like you shouldn’t do it, but you find yourself doing it, and you keep repeating such behavior, it’s an addiction. Plain and simple. From eating to drinking to sex, there are no bounds when it comes to addictions. We should all realize its dangers in our society and support one another instead of berating a public figure based on an assumption and making real suffers feel ashamed.

-Roseberrycupcakes (RCC)~ the struggle of today’s stresses, instant information, looking for instant relief from stresses turn to a variety of therapeutic substances such as fool, street drugs or practices. We want our brain to release the dopamine to feel good again, I have the same as RCC, looking at carbs to help me crash. Carbs turn into sugar to help sustain the brain, too much makes you crash. RCC is smart enough, to associate certain foods with reminders of past painful encounters and not wanting to go there. To me, Peeps are like crack, keep them away from me they become my precious.

Thank you RCC, she is going to become a great Doctor, I’m so proud of her.

#PrinceHarry #submission

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picturediary · 4 years

Text

23.09.20

… and just like that, a week has passed…

Sounds familiar, doesn’t it?

But I have promised that I wouldn’t pressure myself too much about writing, so it’s what I’m doing.

I wish I could say it’s been an eventful week... but it wasn’t.

I wish I could say it’s been a happy week... but it wasn’t that, either.

I haven’t been well, both physically and mentally. I’ve been listless and lethargic, lacking both drive and motivation to do anything. I’ve been living in my head, too, moving heavy thoughts back and forth in my mind. It wasn’t productive. It wasn’t helpful.

But weeks like this one do exist, don’t they?

And I’ve been trying to be more patient with myself when they happen.

It’s Tuesday again, and tomorrow I’ll be back again at work. I had wanted to do that yesterday already, but I’ve had such a horrible night that it didn’t happen.

But first things first, I suppose:

Thursday, 17.09.20: Tuesday still was a good day. A really good day, I’d say. I stayed at home and tried to rest as much as I could. So I slept in, but my throat and head still bothered me. It was late afternoon that I managed drag myself up from the couch. And it seems trivial, so awfully trivial, but I was excited about the Lush package that was waiting for me in the hallway. It had arrived earlier that day.

This is what I wrote online:

“Maybe it‘s been obvious from my lack of posting, but I have been struggling a bit with Lush in the past months. I thought a lot about consumerism and what dedicating an instagram account dedicated to a company - and thus, consumerism - says about me. I‘ve been very, very disappointed when they took so many products - most of the products I use and love, in fact - from the mainline. I‘ve been disappointed in their products in general, especially bath bombs I bought recently that seemed to be... a bit too old to work. Of course, this year is tough on all of us, and companies need to do what‘s necessary to survive, but still... a bitter aftertaste remained because I can’t shake the feeling that the values Lush promotes officially are not necessarily followed everywhere in that company. That being said, I haven’t been this excited about receiving a Lush package in a very, very long time. I actually squealed sniffing the products. Loudly. I had thought I had gotten a bad case of Lush-nose and that I wasn’t able anymore to smell all the fantastic scents of their products, but that wasn’t the case here. (Which brings me back to the suspicion that they have been selling a lot of old stuff recently that they couldn’t sell during the lockdown.) But there it was: the smell that used to excite me so, so much. And a package full of goodies that made me smile like an idiot. This is Lush as I love it. Exciting, cute, and with so many amazing, unique scents. A little spicy, a little sweet, and so, so comforting. So here it is; my first little Halloween haul (not the last, because I LOVE Halloween)...”

And it’s true. I haven’t been this excited about a Lush package since Christmas, I think. I don’t know if it’s a feeling of nostalgia, or if it’s the autumnal and spicy scents that made me so, so giddy, but I finally felt that magic again.

Last year around this time, on Sept 26th namely, I made the little Lush-appreciation Instagram account. Last autumn wasn’t the calmest, most peaceful seasons of all time, but there were some special things that I carry with me ever since then: the sewing classes, watching horror movies with F in candlelight... and the first time I indulged in the Lush Halloween treats. It’s a very special scent that I have trouble describing, but I was so happy to smell it again. I have become a victim of their marketing strategies, that’s for sure... but then again, is it not okay to consume things that are comforting? Others drink or smoke, and spend hundreds of Euros a year... I indulge in bath bombs. It’s a controversial discussion, I’m aware, but at least I’m not going into it blindly. Not entirely, at least.

Being so excited, I showed F everything and let him sniff and wrinkle his nose about those things. It felt a lot like last year, and that was nice. It was before DT’s devastating email arrived, and although I was sick around this time and worried sick, too... a lot of things were still unspoken, and sometimes that’s a blessing. And a part of me, back then, actually thought there was still hope. Now, I haven’t heard of him for so long, and I’m well aware it might be months or years until I hear of him again. And sometimes that drives me crazy. Sometimes, that makes me so, so angry.

Because of course, there was no answer to my email. Of course not.

I dreamt it, even. And when I woke up on Thursday morning, my first thought was: “Well, it was just a dream. Maybe...?” But the dream came true, and it was no surprise. This whole thing has become so layered, to tangled with negative emotions and so loaded... that I should be grateful about the silence. Why can’t I be? Why am I running after someone who doesn’t want me in their life?

F and I had a long midnight walk; the first in months.

It became a small, much needed routine when the lockdown started. We ventured out in the neighbourhood after midnight. We ventured out into the dark, into the crisp air of early spring, into the mist and glowing golden light of the street lamps. We checked on houses that were built in the past months, we watched the cats of the village, saw a mouse and a wild bunny, and looked up at the stars. It’s a lovely little tradition, and we haven’t done it often enough.

So last Thursday, we did it again, and it was beautiful. The night was so clear that we could see the milky way. It wasn’t too cold yet, but cold enough to walk that bit faster. It’s a strange, beautiful serenity that comes with the night, and I’ve always felt like that.

I hope we can do it more often again soon, but F has been very unbalanced, easily irritated and stressed lately. There is hardly a day he doesn’t get upset about this or that, about work or the house or people or the world in general, and it’s the same phrases every time. Not that I blame him. His workload is insane, and it hasn’t gotten any better since the pandemic hit. But it’s frustrating to see him fight the same windmills every day, to see him run in circles and repeat the same little hell again and again. I wish I could help him, and I wish things could just go back to normal. But who doesn’t? We’ve been living in our own little dystopian hellscape for half a year now.

Although it feels much, much longer.

And I’m aware that a vaccine will not necessarily eradicate the virus. It’s highly unlikely. But this? This is hard to endure. It’s stressful, all the additional work, all the conflicts in society, all the panic inside and outside. It’s more than a small nightmare.

But during those midnight walks, sometimes, life is good. Especially like last Thursday, when the air was crisp and smelt of autumn, of damp earth and leaves. (On a side note: spreading the pine mulch a week before had been such an amazing scent-experience, too. It smelt so earthy, so much like approaching autumn that it made my heart ache just a bit.) Temperatures had dropped down to 4°C. When it had been 30°C less than 48 hours before. That, too, is exhausting.

I had a lovely, long bath to end the day, using the black bat bath bomb that was full of glitter and had such a wonderful herbal, autumnal scent. It was a good way to end the day.

Friday, 18.09.20: There are days when you wish you hadn’t gotten up, at all. Friday was such a day. I was irritated from the start, plagued by a restless night and dreams. My head hurt, my nose was so dry it bled (it still does) and my throat hurt. I was in a bad mood from the beginning. Facing the mess in the kitchen I’ve been facing for the last weeks every day didn’t help. In the past months, due to a lack of time, F has made it a habit to just dump everything – dirty plates, garbage, everything – onto the counter. I understand why, it’s not that, but it’s frustrating to spend a long time cleaning up, unloading and filling the dishwasher... only to find the same mess again the next day. I know... that’s being an adult 101. Doesn’t mean that I can’t feel overwhelmed by it from time to time...

To do something nice and silly, I took some pictures for my IG with those bath bombs – another awfully trivial, stupid thing to do, but it makes me happy – and enjoyed that, and prepared dinner when F arrived at home. I made pasta with my spinach and salmon sauce, and that was nice and filling. But F got upset over things to do in the garden again, and it was a tense atmosphere all evening.

In the late night hours, I watched a so-called horror-movie, although it wasn’t all too scary. But it made me think a lot.

I watched “Boogeyman”, that godawful movie of 2005.

2005... that sounds so close. That sounds so familiar. And yet, it was 15 years ago. Again, time flies. And seeing the movie, seeing the fashion choices and atmosphere, a world without the constant presence of social media and the pressure to be constantly available at all times... it made me feel so nostalgic.

2005.

I was 24 back then. Young. Skinny. A music major preparing for the final concert exam. I was broken, too. Bordering an eating disorder, which made me skinny in the first place, but I would lie if I pretended it doesn’t bother me that I put on so much weight. I loved wearing the pencil skirts. I loved wearing the clothes I can’t wear anymore today. I loved the world more than I love it today.

I was broken, and I went to see my psychoanalyst 3 to 4 times a week. I spent a lot of times waiting for a tram or a bus, and I always had a book in my pocket. Instead of my iphone. I read so much, back then. Now, the distraction of the internet is everywhere.

I miss those days, when the world was coming together instead of falling apart. When my body wasn’t my enemy, like it is now. Always hurting, always causing problems, a thick shell of fat caused by the lipedema that makes moving and exercising so, so hard.

Yes, I had unhealthy habits. Many of them. Back then, I created the scars that I still carry with me. Studying music under TO was exhausting and challenging.

But I felt a sense of accomplishment. I felt proud of what I was doing. Yes, I could also rip myself apart over a passage in the Brouwer sonata, I felt inferior compared to my fellow students who came from around the world. But I travelled to make music. I played in concerts on a regular basis. I was young and the world was wide open.

Am I romanticizing this time?

Of course I do.

Which middle-aged person doesn’t?

Middle-aged. That’s what I am now, right? I’ve used this word aloud for the first time last week, during my last lesson with my student A. I don’t even know how I got there, what made me say it. But there it was, loud and clear: “That’s what happens, when you’re middle-aged.”

It felt strange.

2005, I was young. It was the time when the future was wide open and the years weren’t weighing my down, when my body wasn’t weighing me down. Time was not a factor and everything, simply everything was still possible.

Now, I do feel time and its weight. Decisions need to be made before it’s too late. The future is narrow and determined.

And the world was coming together. There was a liberal air around everything. It was before the pandemic, before the financial crisis. There was a general sense of optimism, or am I mistaken? Just looking at some of the movies makes my heart ache. I feel like the world wasn’t as separated as it is now. The internet was there; a strange place with even stranger people... but it was before facebook and instagram and a constant pressure to post a fake, fabulous life to gain fake, faceless friends and fake, meaningless likes.

Is it bad that I get nostalgic about that?

Sometimes I think: but the world wasn’t as tolerant back then, regarding ethnics and the lgbt+ community.

But... was it?

Was it really?

We live in a radicalized world these days. There are only extremes left in a nightmarish dystopia. There is no moderation. There is no centre left. Only the wrong opinion and yours. The ability to talk and argue in a civilized way seems to be lost.

And here I am, witnessing the wonders and horrors of this time.

And looking at a face in the mirror that doesn’t match me anymore. Photos of myself shock me. I’m old. I’m fat. I don’t play concerts anymore.

Needless to say, I was depressed when I went to bed.

Saturday, 19.09.20: There are days when you wish you hadn’t gotten up, at all. Saturday was another such day. F was tense, we fought. It wasn’t nice. I tried to tend to the plants outside, but there were once again so many people around... I hate that. I hate that I can’t just water the heather without being seen, without having to smile and wave. I’m a hermit, always have been, and there’s something to be said about the anonymity of large housing blocks. We don’t have that here anymore, and sometimes I wish for a huge, huge, impenetrable wall around our house. If only it wouldn’t look stupid and like a prison from the inside...

While F spent a bit of time outside, I did what I’ve been wanting to do for three weeks now: I put up the autumn decoration. The golden pumpkins, the orange and red leaves, the berry twigs and candles. That, at least, felt like a small accomplishment.

I convinced F to take more me-time. I know he needs it, and badly. I miss him. I miss having dinner with him, but he needs it and it makes him happier, less irritated and more stress-resistant. So I told him to take that time for himself, and things have gotten slightly better since then.

I ended the day in the bathtub again, trying a new bath bomb that was full of spice and beauty. But my heart was pounding and I didn’t last all too long in the tub. But the scent was autumnal and divine.

Sunday, 21.09.20: I didn’t sleep well and nodded off on the couch in the afternoon. Those days feel empty. I felt empty, too.

The best part about Sunday was a wonderful cooking session. I made homemade tomato soup and spent hours peeling tomatoes, roasting garlic in the oven and bringing it all together. That is the kind of accomplishment I have these days... not playing a whole concert program.

I spent the evening getting lost with my new ipad pro and the drawing app on it. It’s a little addictive and very complicated. I’ve been comfortable with the medium of traditional pencil art and have rarely tried anything else... and this... this is something. I lost track of time, scribbled an opossum, watched the new Netflix series “Ratched” and went to bed.

There was a text on my phone (among many... because that damn thing never, ever stays silent...) from my former student R. The one I have taught for so many years. The one I brought to so many competitions. The one who won third prize on the nationwide round. The one I drove to my old professor. The one who passed the entrance exam at my old college of music. He asked if we couldn’t meet or talk on the phone one of these days. He wanted to tell me what’s going on and how his future will look.

What to bet that means he won’t study music, in the end?

The rest was just more work, more appointments, more requests.

Monday, 22.09.20: the plan was to go back to work on Monday. That didn’t happen.

I had a horrible night.

I couldn’t fall asleep until half past seven. AM. I was restless and my heart was pounding. I thought about work, about DT, about life and the world and couldn’t stop. Couldn’t rest. Couldn’t sleep.

I dreamt, too. And vividly.

It was a strong dream about DT. I was back at home, with my parents. And I had to prepare a concert. But I hadn’t practiced, at all. My father had informed a local tv station, even. But I hadn’t practiced, and started to panic. I had to get ready, do my make-up, do my hair, get into my concert clothes (oh, how I miss that feeling...) and somehow, miraculously, practice some pieces to fill a concert with...

And somewhere in this mess, where I tried to find sheet music – maybe some duos to play with an old classmate – there was DT.

It was such a vivid, strong dream. So intense.

He was dismissive. He didn’t really want to talk about us, or about how things would unfold from here. And somehow, I tried to convince him that talking would help. That it would make sense to carry on. I tried to convince him that not everything was lost.

And because I had to practice, I just gave him one diary after another. Years and years, tomes and tomes of diaries, piled up in his arms. Somehow, I thought that would be a good idea. Somehow I thought, if he read it all, he would finally understand me.

I was under so much stress, trying to convince him to talk to me...

... then F woke me.

And I felt like hit by a truck.

For a while, I tried to force myself to go to work. Had breakfast, tried to get ready... but with so little sleep, I tend to feel both nauseous and lightheaded. It’s a dizziness that’s hard to be put into words. No way I could be patient enough to teach.

So I called my doctor. And surprisingly, he was on the phone himself. He gave me a sick note for two days. I actually let myself be talked into getting Tuesday off, as well.

I slept until F came home.

I dreamt about my student R., and that he actually didn’t intend to study music. But in the dream, he wasn’t allowed to, so I promised to take care of it, to talk to the college and my old professor.

I felt a little better when I woke up.

F ate dinner alone, and I watched documentaries about video games, continued with “Ratched” and tried to overcome both the lethargy and depression. I think it’s that; the depression. I haven’t been quite myself in the past days, and sometimes all you can do is take one day at a time.

I like the aesthetics of “Ratched”. The 50s vintage beauty of interior design and fashion. I love the soundtrack that is a wonderful homage to old Hitchcock movies. It’s disturbing, thoroughly disturbing, and I’m not quite sure yet if it’s my kind of disturbing. We’ll see. Maybe it’s just the lethargy and depression that drag me in.

Tuesday, 23.09.20: Again, I slept badly. I can only hope tonight will be better. Tomorrow, I must go back to work. I don’t feel worthy of breathing when I’m not working on a work day. But the night was short and troubled again. Pounding heart. Heavy thoughts. Restless sleep.

I tried to not fall asleep during the day, so I looked for ProCreate tutorials online and tried myself on one of them. I tried to create some characters for the guitar book for children I intend to write (will I ever finish it, though?). And surprisingly, when I looked up again, it was dark. Just like that, hours had passed.

F ate dinner with me, and that was wonderful. His company always helps when I’m feeling lethargic and disturbed and not quite like myself. I’m grateful for that. I’m so grateful for him.

And I really, really hope that I will start feeling better soon.

And that I will sleep.

I hope work will help.

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the1rei · 7 years

Text

Bloomin' Ross pt17

Eugene and Rapunzel try to help with the pet search with predicable results, and what’s with the fires?

<<< First Post <<Prev Post - Next Post >>

Riding back to the city Rose did get a chance to lean in and rest herself against Cass’ back, not that she could truly enjoy it aching all over as badly as she did. As they neared Corona and the pain finally began to subside, she remembered her promise and groaned a little rolling her forehead across Cass’ shoulder forcing herself to sit up and lean back resting her hands on Fidello’s backside.

"You okay back there Rose,“ Cass’ glanced back eyeing her with concern, "We can slow down a bit if you want.”

"No, I’m,“ Rose croaked and suddenly coughed. A feather flew from her mouth and danced mocking on the light breeze for a moment before fluttering past them. Rose gave it a grumpy look, "Fine. I just wish my first pet’s family hadn’t tried to kill me." She sighed.

"Hey, don’t worry about it, you’ll find something that suits you much better than a bird," Cass assured her, but Rose just sighed dejectedly again not feeling anywhere near as confident as Cass tried to sound.

Closing her eyes Rose let the rocking of Fidello’s hips as they trotted slowly rock her back and forth. The horse’s fur was soft and radiated a pleasant warmth. Suddenly it was like all her energy rushed back in and Rose shot up in the seat. "A horse! I should get a horse like Fidello, that would be the perfect pet!" Rose almost shouted causing both Max and Fidello’s ears to jump up. Rose almost immediately slipped back into a daydream of her and Cass caring for their horses together and going riding together.

As Rose stared off dreamily, Cass gave Rapunzel and Eugene a worried look and shook her head.

Rapunzel caught Eugene’s eye and glanced over at Rose. Eugene gave her a questioning look, and Rapunzel rolled her eyes, "Say something,” she whispered. Eugene gave a reluctant look, but Rapunzel defeated it with an insistent nod.

“You know Rose,” Rose snapped from her daydream at the sound of her name and looked up at the former thief. “You don’t want a big ol’ horse like Max," Max’s head snapped around with an annoyed whinny, and he glared at Eugene snorting angrily. Eugene just shoved the horse head back around, "They expensive and hard to take care of and they just eat and eat.”

This time both Max and Fidello turned to glare at Eugene. The draft horse’s glare, in particular, was so cold Eugene shivered a little and might have been intimidated if Max hadn’t neighed angrily at him. Eugene leaned an elbow on Max’s head and leaned towards Rose, “You don’t even know how to ride. Maybe you should start with something more your speed.”

Rose considered that for a moment, “Like what?”

"Weeelll,“ Eugene drew out in thought and Max took the opportunity to jerk his head out from under Eugene’s arm. The suddenly unbalanced former thief lurched forward flipping out of his saddle and crashing to the ground. The group stopped with the front gate in sight, the plumes of smoke were even more noticeable, but several had disappeared replaced with others.

Cass and Rapunzel pulled the horses to a stop so they could pick up Eugene, a nearby old rancher taking the opportunity to start crossing his sheep from one pasture across the road to the next. Eugene glared at Max as he picked himself up and dusted himself off, but before he could say anything to the stallion, he noticed the passing sheep and his eyes flashed. "Like a sheep, yep a sheep would be the perfect pet for you.”

Rose dropped off of Fidello’s back and moved up to the flock of sheep. She reached out and ran a hand across one of the passing sheep, possibly adding one more ‘bah’ to the crescendo that rose up from the flock. The softness of their wool was very appealing, Rose could see how happy her sister would be to have the long haired animal around, and they would save a lot of money if they had a sheep of their own to sheer. A smile grew across Rose lips as a small ball of white fluff broke off from the flock and approached her. Rose could help but swoon a little at its cuteness and reached down picking the lamb up to cradle it in her arms and it bah’d softly.

“Unn Rose you might not want to pick him up.” Rapunzel advised her voice full of worry.

"Why not,“ Rose smiled up at the Princess. Her delight was short lived however as a feeling of immense dread came over her. Slowly she turned back to the flock and found they had fallen silent and were all glaring up at her, a particularly menacing Ram advancing back towards her.

"That’s why” But it was too late, the whole flock was already chasing after Rose who, by pure luck, ran for the gate holding the lamb up in her arms. The drowsy guards were too slow to stop Rose as she rushed past the gate and too few to stop the flock from chasing after her into the streets of Corona.

"Rose!“ Cass called over the commotion as she and Fidello chased after the flock. "Put down the lamb!”

—

“That’s right Princess; my best nets burned up where I’d strung them up to dry." The grizzled looking sailor nodded sniffling and rubbing the moisture from his eyes. "They’d been in my family for three generations I can’t just replace something like that. Who would do such a thing?”

“Oh, there, there,” Rapunzel wrapped the sailor, who dwarfed her in size up into a hug and padded his back. “I bet you make a net just as good and pass it down just like the last ones.”

The sailor sniffed one last time and thanked the Princess before hobbling off on his peg-leg. Rapunzel waved him off before turning back to Rose who leaned against a nearby fish stall seemingly asleep. Reaching out Rapunzel took her shoulder, “Rose-”

“Sheep!” Rose jerked back to consciousness frantically searching around for the fearsome beasts, but she was safe, there was none to be seen.

"Are you all right?“ Rapunzel looked her new friend up and down worriedly. The four of them had split up on saving Rose from the sheep to investigate the fires. Rose had been so completely mortified by her second failure to find a pet, and to save herself by simply putting the lamb down, that all it took was a look for Rapunzel to claim her instead of Eugene as her search partner.

"I don’t think I’ll be sitting for a while, but yes Princess, I’m fine." Rose nodded wincing at the pain in her bottom as she pushed herself off from the stall.

They had gone to see a few people who had been witnesses to the fires that had cropped up all over town. However, none saw anyone start the fire and none had been serious. The loss was great for each however as the cruel arsonist was burning favorite toys, wagons, blankets, etc

"Come on Rose call me Rapunzel," the Princess tried to sound stern and commanding, but it just came out as imploring.

"Right, sorry,” Rose gave a genuine remorseful look, “Where to next?”

“That’s it; there aren’t any more leads.” Rapunzel shrugged defeated, she made to say something but was interrupted as a chorus of mews rose from the ground and both young women looked down to see a clowder of kittens slipped from under the patrons and surrounded the stall they were standing next to loudly imploring the owner for something to eat. The old fishwife just gruffly sho’d them away. "Hey what about one of them,“ Rapunzel exclaimed looking down at the kittens.

"I doubt they started the fire Princess- I mean Rapunzel.” Rose’s skeptical look broken as she gave a start and corrected herself.

"No, I mean as a pet. Cat’s can take care of themselves for the most part, and they’re small and affectionate a perfect first pet.“ Rapunzel nodded in agreement with her own assessment and turned asking the fishwife for something.

"I don’t know; maybe I should give it a few days." Rose hesitated, but as she looked down at the wide-eyed kittens, she couldn’t help but smile at how cute they were.

"Here,” Rapunzel turned back a minute later and thrust a large tin mug into her hands, it was full to the brim with strips of pink salmon. “I call them fish sticks, just feed them some and you can have your pick of the litter.”

Rose only hesitated a moment before crouching down and pulling a few of the strips from the mug and holding them out of the kittens. Happy cries filled the air as the kitten crowded in for the fish. Rose chuckled at their eagerness shuffling back a step so she could turn to others and offer them some as well.

More and more rushed in from under patrons and Rapunzel smiled triumphantly and stood back letting Rose twist this way and that feeding them all. But as it always was with her, all it took was one misstep to turn everything around on Rose.

Her heel caught the lip of a stout bucket she hadn’t seen behind her, the sudden stop threw her off balance, and she teetered and fell like an oak. The mug flew from her hand, up into the air and came down onto Rose head with a painful bump spilling its contents down her head and chest. Rose groaned in the pain that shot up from her butt and peeked an eye open to see the mess she had made.

Instead, she saw that she was surrounded by a massive number of kittens and none of their eyes looked big and imploring anymore. Like a fuzzy tide wave, the kittens crashed down upon Rose who let out a growingly familiar cry as the wave of cats flailed impossibly.

Rapunzel began pulling the cats off of Rose, but soon she had two armfuls of kittens, and Rose was no more in sight than before. “Sorry Rose!" She called hoping that Rose could hear her through the mass of kittens. She knew they would leave the young blacksmith alone once they’d consumed all the fish.

#tangled #tangled the series #give cassandra a girlfriend #cassandrose #rose #ross

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youreghanamissme · 7 years

Text

Carol Getting Married, Or Coming to America

8/14/17

My trip to America in a nutshell: Holly (the cat) hops onto my lap as I sit on the porcelain throne, scrolling through my Facebook news feed.

It's recommended that y'all put Calvin Harris' Funk Wav Bounces Vol. 1 in the background while reading forward. That album has been giving me life the past month and is somehow emblematic of this post.

Mona and I at Target. Initially, we tried the headbands on ironically, but then we kept wearing them around Target as we looked at stuff we didn’t need. When we got to the register, we bought them for their sentimental value.

Adhering to the better judgment and insistence of a trusted friend, I took half an Imodium (anti-diarrheal pill) before my 14-hour journey from Tamale to Accra, and booooy was that rough but so, so necessary. I had been running (Ghana speak for recurrent diarrhea) for a week prior. Being a kitty-corner from a toilet/latrine was not just necessary; it was equal parts redemption and self-preservation. And while that plug kept my pride intact on the bus, it nearly made me want to commit seppuku. Accra was the same as usual: foreign to me (as a northerner), expensive, and awkward. Highlight of being in Accra two days before my flight: I got my (seven) cavities taken care of. Lowlight: half of those fillings chipped away or fell out entirely in America. Oh, Ghana.

My flight to Paris was an adventurous one. Without going into too many details, I sort of held up the flight. But only by no more than 5-10 minutes! And it wasn't really my fault!! The flight attendants blew the whole ordeal out of proportion, even going so far as talking smack about me—in my presence—in French. They probably needed to take half a chill pill. We got to our destination on time, and I don't regret what I did. Don't worry—it was neither illegal nor immoral.

Paris to San Francisco was one of my worst experiences to date. I felt restless. My body was tense, my neck was killing me, and I was in the thick of a four-seat row. It didn't help that European airline food is leagues better than what I had been eating lately, and I was losing the fight to reject free brie cheese, butter, and ice cream en route. Lactose intolerance, be damned!

My three week stay in America was split between San Jose and San Francisco, my parents' home and my sister's/BIL's house. I no longer had my apartment in Oakland, and while my friends and former flat-mate were more than willing to let me crash at their place, I felt a little weird about it. They had real jobs and some had real families, and I didn't want to loaf around on netflix all day in front of them... which is what I often did in San Jose. Hours and hours spent catching up to beloved shows and binging on ice cream, cake, chips (party size), and cookies. I gained about 7lbs by the time of the wedding, two days before my return to Ghana. Most of my SJ friends didn't live in the area anymore, and even if they had stayed to reside in the 4-0-8, we had drifted apart so that a lot of what we did together was reminisce. I spent as much of my free time as possible meeting up with old friends in Oakland and San Francisco. For those who have yet to revisit America, here's what's up:

Hawaiian poke bowls are now a thing

There are now many apps to have food delivered to you. Be the recluse you aspire to be!

Boba tea has expanded into the mainstream, something us Asian-Am's have known and drank for years

Kick-boxing-ballet is on the rise

Homelessness has increased significantly in the bay area

You can order your weed online and have it delivered to you via a phone app (in CA, at least)

Coming to America was... weird. It wasn't too much of a culture shock. Maybe because it takes a lot to faze me; maybe because I've gotten some pre-America exposure to department stores and grocery markets in Accra, but having set prices was oddly comforting. No more haggling over a couple Cedis and wondering if I got a fair price or an inflated foreigner price. And the American merchandising of consumer products? Alarming, alienating. I never realized how greatly consumerism and commercialism ruled Americana. Or how courtesy is a real form of currency.

I watched a YouTube video one day that convinced me I needed to go buy, or at least check out, some LUSH products because they were all natural and good for you and better for workers and the environment (1: covert advertising). I went to a LUSH store in San Francisco, and the people were all so nice and accommodating, if not a little too eager to have me sample something (2: everyone is kind of fake-nice in USA, but I know everyone is good people, especially retail workers. I've been there; I've done that). The store smelled divine; the products seemed truly high-quality. And then I looked at the prices. Holy Jesus, Mother of Mercy, and the ineffable Buddha. FUCK. Those prices were eye-gougingly high. But then it is America. And then I converted the costs into Ghana Cedis—something I had to intentionally prevent myself from doing as my vacation continued to preclude a moral quandry at every run to CVS—and I felt like an asshole. I then spent the next hour musing in the small shop to look for the cheapest thing to buy (3: because manners matter in America, and they were all SO nice. I didn't want to be one of those people who actually talked to the workers, stayed forever, and then left without buying anything. This is why I can never work in a book store, no matter how romantic and cool it seems... and how much I want a 10% employee discount). I left the store with a shampoo bar I could use but didn't really need. I won't reveal the cost, but rest assured that for the same price, I could have bought three shampoo bars on Amazon.

And that's another thing: Amazon! The paragon of consumerism in America! I am critical of it all, but I can't deny that I'm in it; they have me, my wallet, and my soul. Disregard my rants as I lather my tresses with my new sea salt LUSH shampoo bar. And you know what? It feels really fuckin' good, and it does voluminize my hair, I think...

Y'know, I feel like something of a celebrity in Ghana. I'm a foreigner and a novelty and most strangers want to be my friend. Why, the kids scream my name—“Deeshini! Deeshini! Deeeeeshini!!”—everywhere I go in the village. And while I didn't have the same A-lister power in America, a lot of people did want to meet me. I felt like the Queen-motherfucking-Bee in a teen movie. It sucked that I couldn't hang out with everyone since conflicting schedules and locale were an issue, but for the folks that I was able to see and spend some time with, I am so grateful and thankful. It meant more to me than I can articulate.

Since I've been gone, my friends got engaged/married, are making strides in the pursuit of their dream careers, and evolving into cooler versions of themselves (and they were already pretty dope creatures). I love all of that. We talked lives, marriages, politics, failed connections, social unrest, self-discovery, and all the minutiae over good beer and better food. That's mostly what I did: enjoy the best food (Thai food, Vietnamese che (desserts), sushi, smoked salmon, burritos, cream donuts, STRAWBERRIES and PEACHES and CHEESE #sighpies ...and PIE. All the pies, yespleasethankyoumuch) with high-quality company and drink my weight in liquor. I was reminded how lucky I was to not have to drink Club beer (aka Bud Light's even less impressive cousin) for another three weeks. Don't get me wrong—Club will do, but why drink Club when you can have a Rasputin? Or a quality IPA?

My sister and Nathan (BIL), bless their hearts, had a few crates of beer available at their wedding. I drank a few Anchor Steams to calm my nerves before my sister-of-the-bride speech. I wasn't drunk, but I got the hiccups anyway. The speech itself was worse than a train-wreck. It was a dumpster fire that somehow rolled down the street. I wish I could have also left the building and escape onto the streets of SF.

...Okay, no, I didn't. But I ended up ugly-crying/ bawling the whole way through... to the point where my sister AND our father told me, 30 seconds in, that I didn't have to finish what I had to say. I wanted to though; I'm no quitter! And especially not on a night that would be remembered for the rest of my sister's life!

Well, I tell you what, neither she nor the other 340-plus guests will forget the night I read my speech—something that should have been one minute but took three instead—through tears, frequent mucus snorting, and awkward pauses into a microphone. By the way, my mess was not only filmed on camera for future generations' sake, it was also live-broadcasted for all the guests on the mezzanine to see since they didn't have ground-floor views. So much for all that expensive make-up. It washed away in three minutes. I didn't think I'd cry. That's the problem. I should have known better. I'll cry at anything, even a drop of a hat if it happened in a way I deem poetic.

It wasn't something I shed a tear over, but seeing family was a huge joy of being back home. Carol's wedding became the impetus for the reunion of my paternal cousins. They hail from all over the world—Paris, Portland, Calgary, Vancouver, Montreal, LA, New York. It was pretty cool. Some cousins I had never met before, and for others, it had been at least a decade since we were in the same room. I knew it meant a lot to my dad that several of his siblings made it to the wedding. He hadn't seen some of them in almost two decades. I don't think I would ever want to let that happen with Carol. Reuniting with my maternal cousins was something that I was also fortunate to do. I'm lucky I had cousins to grow up with; I know that's not the case for a lot of people. A lot of them had moved northward, towards Sacramento, as the Bay Area became too expensive to live in. It had been such a long time since I sat down and talked to the few that were in my age range. And on top of that—the baby cousins were no longer babies! Now they were in high school and finishing college, and I wondered to myself where did the years go?

The rest of the wedding banquet was bomb-diggity. There was a photo booth with props. Music was on point (leave it to my BIL to play the theme song to COPS at his wedding). The in-laws are Chinese, so of course we had a Traditional Chinese Ten-Course Meal. Yumsville, population: Diana. I ate until I couldn't eat anymore. Best part was the cake. I even ate other people's uneaten and half-eaten slices left on their tables as they headed home. Want not, waste not—cream and all!

By the end of the night, I was walking barefoot as I could no longer walk in those four inch heels that prevented my dress from dragging more on the floor than it did. My mom has night blindness, and my dad has avoided driving on the freeway for the past 15 years. It was up to me to drive us all and a fellow bridesmaid back to San Jose that night. It was a little nerve-wracking as I had only driven once before while being back, but it all went fine. Maybe driving is one of those things you don't really forget, like riding a bike.

Most of my time in America was spent before the wedding. Really, the whole point was to make sure my ao dai (one of my bridesmaid's dresses; an ao dai is traditional Vietnamese garb for gals) fit. I came back as early as I could to have alterations made in case the measurements I gave my sis didn't work out. I also wanted to help out with pre-wedding prep. While we never did go to the tailor before the wedding due to laziness (it fit, thankfully), I was glad to assist with the flowers and some small tasks.

When I was preparing to leave for America, I just couldn't wait to return to Ghana. I had work to do; a life to get back to with a purpose, but by the end of my stay, I wish I had more time to spend with my parents. They look older, more tired. I'm still in the selfish phase of my life: the unsparing twenties where hedonism is the choice idea, responsibilities feel better suited for my 30's, and I have few qualms about being an ocean away from my ma and dad. Good news is that they're both more or less retired now. Better news is that our relationship, no matter how frigid or awkward, is improving. They spent most of my time in America running around getting the house ready for the wedding. We're not Christians, so the house was renovated and the backyard landscaped to be presentable for the ceremonies—the American one (an officiant... who happened to be my sis' bff and a fellow bridesmaid!) and the Vietnamese/Chinese one (tea ceremony... where the groom's side of the family comes into the house in a procession, dowry-like gifts in hand)—at home. I was humbled by the tea ceremony, with all its intricate formalities and greetings and ancestral acknowledgment. I wondered quietly to myself: “Wow. This is a lot of bowing and citation to this person and that person... and who is that guy? I don't even know who they're talking about, but everyone else seems to. Will any of us second-generation American kids know how to guide each other through another tea ceremony when everyone from the old country has passed?” I'm sure my cousins and I will manage, somehow, but it did make me hyper-aware of how disassociated I feel from my Vietnamese culture sometimes. Not quite American enough for America, and not Vietnamese enough for the Vietnamese... It's sometimes a kind of limbo being the child of immigrants. Just a thought.

I think when everything was all over and everyone could finally breath a sigh of relief, both my parents and I regretted not spending quality time together. I say so because my dad said it indirectly. It's unfortunate, and I understood. I was in the same boat: the only reason I was even back was because of the wedding! My parents... they're old school. They didn't grow up hearing their parents say “I love you.” A roof, plentiful food, and all necessities met (and a few gratuitous material pleasures here and there) meant love. I'm learning more and more about how they communicate all the time, and I'm learning more about their lives too. They didn't like talking about it when I was little. I think it's an immigrant/ refugee thing. I've heard similar situations amongst friends and family. But the older I get, I think the more comfortable they feel about detailing their lives and all the struggles within it. It's the same for myself too. I'm learning more about the way I express myself—feelings, thoughts, friendship, and all. And I'm trying harder to communicate with them. It's humbling to realize how we will always be discovering more facets of ourselves. I can't wait to know what I will know and feel how I will feel at 40. In the meantime, I need to call home more.

#peacecorps #howiseepc #ghana #america #cultureshock #lush #asian-american #bayarea #target

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ketohc · 5 years

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Keto Breakfast

Waking up every morning and not having enough time for breakfast? Or thinking of grabbing a quick meal from a food-joint that falls on the way? No. That doesn’t fit in.

Breakfast is said to be the most crucial meal of the day especially for people who are undergoing Ketosis. Reason being, it starts with breaking the fast you were on, the entire night post dinner. Skipping a meal so important is equal to starving yourself, just because you don’t have time. While doing so, you keep your body from utilizing the morning energy, and then slug away later throughout the day, craving for more calories.

Why is it Important to Avoid Missing Your Breakfast?

Here are few valid reasons to consider before depriving your body from the most important meal of the day:

Kick-Starting the Day

Our body understands a simple logic about energy; it can produce it only when it receives food! When you wake up in the morning, after all the routine-bound activities, the next thing to do is eat! Eating breakfast lets the body retain the goodness inside and produce energy to jumpstart the day. The first meal of the day needs to be healthy, even if you prefer it to be light and easy. You are going to consume something after so many hours, so it needs to be decent!

Appetite Supervision

Now imagine not eating in the morning or say just after an hour of waking up. You are out of your house for work or college and then suddenly, the next hour you start feeling hungry and you don’t really find a healthy spot to grab a meal. What do you do? You’ll simply take whatever is available; from snack bars to muffins or sandwiches to burgers. So, you are only stacking calories inside your body. Nope; that’s not good for you.

Mood Lift

Are you cranky in the morning at times? Do you feel like nobody should talk to you, at least for few hours? You might say, you aren’t accustomed to waking up early, and this one day is terrible. But honestly, try eating a healthy breakfast within an hour of waking up and see yourself being jolly throughout the day (of course unless you have reasons to be grumpy)!

Focused

When you skip a meal, you a bound to start feeling hungry. Whether you want to be reminded of not, your body will do the job just right. If your college or job life starts from 9 am and you have already missed your breakfast, staying away till you can sneak-out for a quick munch can get you thinking about food all the time.

Relieve yourself from that misery and just eat!

For a person who is following a Keto-Diet, adhering to certain food related rules, is essential. Morning breakfast being one from the book of rules, skipping it, is never a great idea.

If you can provide your body with fuel on time, it will not crave for anything that is not in your Keto-diet list. But, missing on breakfast might lead to unnecessary craving, for sweet or starchy items.

Eating a Healthy Breakfast – Keto-Diet

A Keto-diet comprises of a low-carb diet plan, encouraging the body to burn fat using the fat that is being consumed. Lowering carb intake for a long time will change the way a body works. In due course, the glycogen level becomes less in the body, helping the liver to produce ketones (made up of our body fat) for energy.

While on a keto-diet, it’s important to make sure you aren’t skipping your breakfast. And, eating healthy, with low-carb and high-fat is a prime motive. But have you ever heard of the bullet-proof coffee? Yes, we are having something as such for your morning menu. If you are bored of eating the same things every morning with little variation, try this bullet-proof coffee to jumpstart your keto-day.

What is a Bullet-proof Coffee?

What if we told you that this coffee is an ideal way to start a day, bringing in more energy to you, keeping you focused throughout the day and helping your brain to function quite effectively? You’d be more curious.

The ingredient to this mug of coffee is very simple and easily available – Coffee, Coconut oil, and Butter. You might want to add in keto-friendly sweetener, if you really want. The amount of fat that it pushes down your body keeps you feeling full for many hours.

The ideal way to make a mug full of bullet-proof coffee is by brewing the coffee first, straining it, and then blending it in high-speed along with butter and coconut oil.

If you are a non-keto dieter

You might be struggling with weight or fat loss and have tried many things to work on that. We suggest you make your breakfast healthier and include dietary-fat to keep your metabolism active.

Keeping your carb intake low in the morning will allow your body to use fat for quick energy that it needs. You can compensate the carbs later in the day.

What can you eat?

Mornings for a non-keto dieter can be filled with Fresh Veggies, Fish with high-fat content, Eggs, Nuts that are rich in omega 3, Avocados and even full-fat Yoghurt.

What Can I Eat for Breakfast on a Keto Diet?

Running short of ideas to make your meals interesting is a drag. We know that. So, here are few recipes that will help you fill your belly and at the same time keep you full for a long time.

Ground Beef and Cauliflower

One decent plate of something you can rely on for a quick breakfast.

Ingredients:

1 Cauliflower (small head, grated)

4 Eggs (large)

450g ground Beef

½ Onion (finely chopped)

2 cloves of Garlic (finely chopped)

½ tsp. Black pepper (fresh crushed)

1 tbsp. Coconut sauce

1 tsp. Fish Sauce

1 tsp. Cumin (ground)

4 Jalapeno (sliced)

¼ cup of Sunflower seeds’ butter

½ Avocado (ripe and diced)

1 tbsp. of Apple cider

1 tbsp. Parsley (finely chopped)

½ cup of water

1 tsp. Salt (Himalayan)

½ cup Mayo

2 tbsp. Clarified Butter

½ cup of Water

Method:

Use a heavy skillet and heat it over the stove on medium-high. When it’s hot, add the clarified butter to the skillet

Add onion, garlic and jalapeno, and soften them by cooking for about 2-3 minutes

Next, add the ground beef along with salt and pepper for seasoning. Cook this till the beef turns brown in colour.

Reduce the flame and add cauliflower. Keep stirring and cooking for about another 2-3 minutes

Meanwhile, whisk the sunflower seed butter, fish sauce, coconut sauce, cumin, mayo and water, well enough to create a nice consistency

Pour this over the cooking skillet and mix well. Cook it for another 4-5 minutes. Then, turn off the stove and keep the skillet aside

Make some space over the meat mixture, and crack each egg inside the spaces

Once done, broil the skillet in the over for at least 8 minutes

By that time, you can mix the apple cider with mayo and pour it over the skillet when out

Lastly, garnish it with the parsley and avocado before spooning it out on your plate.

Broccoli Muffins

Wondering how did muffin make it to this breakfast list? Well you see, there is more to a keto-breakfast than just the normal book you are holding on to. Here is a delicious mould of broccoli muffin, with only about 5g carbs! Too good to accept that it’s for real.

Ingredients:

1 cup of broccoli (finely chopped)

2 cups of Almond flour

2 Eggs (large)

1 cup almond milk (unsweetened)

2 tsp. Yeast (nutritional)

1 tsp. baking powder

2 tsp. Clarified butter

½ tsp. Salt (sea salt preferably)

Method:

Preheat your oven to 350°F, and start greasing your muffin plate

Combine rest all ingredients in a mixing bowl, well enough

Carefully scoop out the mixture and place it one by one in the muffin digs

Place it in the oven and bake these for about 30 minutes

You can check the muffin by inserting a toothpick. If it comes out clean, your muffins are ready to eat.

Avocado and Salmon

Avocados and Salmons are great fat alternatives. Getting to combine both for a morning breakfast will be a treat. Just grab them, from your refrigerator and make a plate in no time at all; honestly, it barely takes 5 minutes.

Ingredients:

1 Avocado (ripe)

60g Salmon (smoked)

1 Lemon (juice)

30g Goat cheese (soft)

1/3 tsp. salt (sea)

2 tbsp. Extra virgin Olive oil

Method:

Cut the Avocado and de-seed it. Keep it aside

Coarsely grind the rest in a food processor and stuff the hollow in the avocado with this mix

Can I Eat Oatmeal on a Keto Diet?

For people who were used to making a small bowl of porridge for their morning breakfast, skipping Oats is a turn-off. Oatmeal is high in carb and cannot fit in the Keto-diet that one is following. However, a low-carb oatmeal is what people are switching to these days. And what more can you ask for, when it saves you so much time in the morning.

This easy recipe will make you happy about the fact that you won’t miss eating porridge anymore!

Ingredients:

1 cup of Almond milk (unsweetened)

1 tsp. of Flax-meal

1 tbsp. of Coconut-flakes

1 tbsp. of Chia-seeds

½ cup of Hemp-hearts

1 tsp. of Cinnamon (powder)

1 tbsp. Coconut oil with added low-calorie sweetener

Ingredients:

Take a sauce pan and combine everything together. And then, mix well

Put it on stove and keep stirring occasionally on simmer

Once done, keep it aside for some time and then garnish with your choice of nuts or berries

With this recipe in your breakfast menu, you’ll consume about 44g Fat and 17g carbohydrates.

How about Eggs?

They are cheap and easily available item and are healthy after all. Before you buy an egg, check if these are cage-farmed or organic ones.

What’s the difference?

Unlike the organic ones, caged chickens go through a pathetic living condition and are injected with hormones to promote fast growth. These aren’t as healthy as the organic eggs.

If you can find organic eggs, there is nothing better than these little powerhouses for a morning start-up.

Top Low-Carb Egg Breakfasts

Here are few more recipes for you using eggs. These are easy, hassle-free and low-carb (majorly), so there is no way you are compromising on the taste.

Breakfast Eggs

As easy as it sounds, making breakfast eggs is cake walk.

Ingredients:

3 Eggs (large)

1 tbsp. of Butter

1 tbsp. of Coconut oil

Method:

On a frying pan, add the coconut oil

Once it heats, crack the eggs and let it cook for about 2 minutes

Add butter over this and cook as per your liking

Bacon and Eggs

If you’re up early and want to make a nice full-place breakfast, try the Bacon and eggs recipe that serves two people. It won’t take a lot of time though; however, you might think that anything that requires cooking is not helpful in the morning. But when you know that you’ll save so many hunger pangs and cravings throughout the day, you might give this a second thought.

Ingredients:

140g Bacon

4 Eggs (large)

2 Avocados (de-seeded)

1 Bell Pepper (green preferably)

2 tbsp. Walnut (cracked)

2 tbsp. Butter (for frying)

1 tbsp. Spring onions (finely chopped)

26g Lettuce (arugula) – for serving

2 tbsp. Olive Oil – For serving

Method:

Add butter to the pan on medium heat, and then fry the bacon. Once done, take them off and keep aside

In the same oil and bacon fat, fry the eggs over medium to low flame

Prepare a nice plate with all the ingredients as per you liking

You can drizzle any remaining fat from the pan over your plate

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Baked Eggs

This is one perfect breakfast for anyone who would love to eat less variety in a plate but would also want a little more than just eggs. Moreover, it’s totally baked, so you won’t even have to spend a lot of time making it; plus, you can utilize your left-over meat too!

Just turn your oven On and, go do your stuff. You’ll have your breakfast ready in 15 minutes!

Ingredients:

85g Beef (ground; pork or lamb too would work just fine)

2 Eggs (large)

56g Cheese (as per your keto-list – shredded)

Method:

When you have everything ready, preheat your oven to 400°F

Prepare a baking dish by spreading the ground beef. Make some holes for the eggs to sit, and then crack them into those holes

Grate the cheese over the mixture

Plate the baking plate in the oven for about 15 minutes

Keep it aside to cool and then serve with anything you want

Egg and Spinach Frittata

This one recipe is to go gaga over. The amazing blend of spinach, eggs, veggies and bacon looks like a small world in a plate. Here is an easy recipe for you to try out for your Keto-Breakfast.

Ingredients:

35g Bacon (diced)

56g Spinach (fresh)

2 Eggs (large)

35g Cheese (shredded)

½ tbsp. of Butter (for frying)

¼ cup of Whipped cream (heavy)

Salt and Pepper to taste

Ingredients:

Preheat your oven to 350°F

Put a put on the stove and fry the bacon in butter until you see a crispy texture. Add the Spinach and let it lose water. Take it off the stove and keep this aside

Grease a baking dish. Put both eggs and cream in a bowl and whisk nicely, then pour it into the dish

Add the spinach and bacon as well over this and place it inside the oven. Let this bake for 20-25 minutes, till you see a golden-brown colour on the top of the frittata

With the given recipes, you have much to add in your breakfast menu now. Check out more from the share recipes and discover new ways of making your first meals of the day, interesting. Skipping it is not going to be an option anymore, given the time you’ll need to prepare a plate.

At least making yourself a delicious mug-filled bullet-proof coffee and carrying it along with you, sipping while on your way, is an add on. Don’t forget that!

References

https://www.dietdoctor.com/low-carb/recipes

https://blog.bulletproof.com/keto-breakfast-recipes-easy-1c2b2g3c/

https://blog.paleohacks.com/keto-breakfast-recipes/

https://www.kidneyinternational-online.org/article/S0085-2538(15)57836-8/abstract

https://europepmc.org/abstract/med/9265974

https://annals.org/aim/fullarticle/717451

http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/102/6/1358.short

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1528-1157.1992.tb01770.x

https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1002/ana.20062