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iguessweallcrazyithinktho · 3 years

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𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒘𝒆 𝒓𝒆𝒈𝒓𝒆𝒕 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒕 2

Part 1

Hiii I don't know if you take request but can i request like a chris evans x reader like the reader and chris are married and chris is having a bad day or something so chris go out to the pub and go home drunk and its been going for 3 days and the reader and chris has a 6year old and the reader have been doing all the work and taking care of they're daughter and they're daughter miss chris bc chris is never home and just go home until 12 or 2 in the morning or if chris is home he never play with her daughter and they're daughter is sad abt it bc they're daughter though chris doesn't love her anymore and chris miss her play in school even though chris promise so that day when chris miss her daughter's play the reader confront chris abt it and chris said he doesn't care abt his daughter and he said he didn't know why he married the reader bc she's clingy but chris didn't know that they're daughter heard what chris said abt her and chris didn't know also that the reader is 6-7 weeks pregnant and the reader and chris heard they're daughter sob and that moment chris realize it all his mistakes? and apologize to them idk if this make sense and im sorry if this is so longg, thank you in advance stay safe! <3

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆: 𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒔𝒕

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒄𝒓𝒚𝒊𝒏𝒈

𝑷𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈: 𝒄𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔 𝒆𝒗𝒂𝒏𝒔 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓, 𝒅𝒂𝒅! 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝒔

𝑷𝒍𝒆𝒂𝒔𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒏𝒕 𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒏𝒕 𝒂𝒏𝒚𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒚 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒔𝒆𝒏𝒕

Chris paced back and forth as he tried to call you for the 10th time. It was the next day, he was sober and the images from last night clouded his brain. Seeing the pain and anger on your face as he said he wish he never married you.

Seeing isabella crying from his disgusting words. That hurt him the most, he regret everything.

The phone went to voicemail again making Chris groan. You had every right to not talk to you, but he wanted to know you and isabella was okay. You were still his wife.

Chris sighed sitting down on the couch. He rubbed his eyes with his palm, exhaling for the hundredth time.

The house phone on the table beside the couch rung causing Chris to quickly grab it. He thought it was you but no, it was your doctor.

"hi is this Mrs Evans?" Chris frowned, "uh no but this is Mr Evans." Chris said, he was deeply confused.

"oh well you tell Mrs Evans that have her next appointment date to check on the baby."

Chris stood up, he wasn't sure he heard right. "I'm sorry, the baby?"

The innocence lady on the other side of the phone phone gasped, "oh I'm sorry, you didn't know."

"no it's fine." Chris sighed softly, his heart picking up speed in his chest. "I'll tell her, thank you." He hung up the phone throwing it onto the couch. "Fuck, fuck, fuck!" He mumbled to himself. He really needed to find you and isabella.

You laid in the uncomfortable bed, isabella sleeping soundly beside you. It was around 8 in the morning and thoughts from yesterday filled your mind.

"I wish I never married you"

"Forget isabella, I don't care about her stupid play"

It hurt just knowing he thought those things. It took some time last night, but you managed to go to sleep around 3am. Now it was morning time, you were in a crappy hotel, and Chris was blowing up your phone like crazy.

You sighed pulling back the blanket. You walked to the bathroom. You looked in the mirror, your almost 3 month along bump was showing. You tore your eyes from it looking at your face. You were trying not to think about Chris in that moment.

"get it together y/n." You whispered to yourself.

"mommy." You looked back to the doorway seeing isabella. Her stuff bear was in her hands as she rubbed her sleepy eye with the other hand.

"good morning honey."

You walked over to her, "did you sleep good?" Isabella looked up at you. "Yeah, I slept great." You laughed, "that's great. Uh do you wanna go get some breakfast? We can eat some pancakes and waffles, what you say bug?"

Isabella started to think, it was almost like you can see the wheels turning in her head. "Uhh yeah. Can we see daddy too?"

Your stomach did a flip, you didn't think she'll be okay with what he said about her, but She was 6 so maybe that was the reason.

"umm... Yeah, yeah. We can see daddy." Isabella smiled, "okay, I watch TV now." She walked back over to the bed, hopping in it. You exhaled, running your hands over your face. Here goes nothing you thought to yourself.

Chris phone ringing interrupting him from his daze. He picked it up seeing your contact. His heart picked up as he answered it.

"y/n, are you okay?" On the other side of the phone you sighed, "yeah, I'm fine. Look um isabella want see you so can you meet us at the diner at (some street name)?"

Chris nodded even though you couldn't see him. "Yeah, of course." He walked to the foyer to put on his shoes. "Umm, I love you." Chris said. He wasn't expecting you to say it back, but you did. When you did, his heart skipped and a smile formed on his face.

You hung up the phone. You let out a sigh once again. Here goes nothing.

You sat in the diner, isabella beside you coloring in the booklet they gave her. You both were waiting for Chris to come.

Your mind was filled, you couldn't even figure out what you were thinking about at all at this point.

After waiting a few more minutes, you heard the diner door open. In walked Chris. In his hands was a bouquet of flowers and stuffed animal. You were guessing it was his apologize.

He walked over to you both, just like yours, his heart was beating pretty hard in his chest.

"hey." Chris smiled shyly at you as you got up. "Hi." You tore your eyes from his, looking down at isabella. She was looking up at her daddy with a soft smile on her face. Chris kneeled down to her height. "Hi baby." He said to her softly. "I'm sorry for yesterday, I didn't mean any of it, I promise. Can you forgive me?"

isabella's small smile grew to a bigger one. "Yeah." Chris smiled at her. "Okay, give me a hug."

Isabella giggled as she Wrapped her arms around his neck. Chris hugged her close. He felt relived she forgave him, he felt so bad for saying what he said to her and he's going to spend the rest of his life making it up to her.

He pulled away from her, he handed the stuffed animal to her before standing back up.

He looked back at you. "Uh these are for you. It's not an apology, I'll give you a sincere apology later, but for now I have these." He looked at you, he had bags under his eyes from his sleepless night, and tear streaks on his cheeks from the crying he did.

you quickly tore your eyes from His taking the flowers. "Thanks." You cleared your throat. "Uh shall we have breakfast?"

Chris inhaled, "yeah." He walked over to the opposite side of the table and took a seat. You did the same sitting back beside isabella. You all ordered trying to forget about the tension that was very much between you and Chris. It was nice that you both were talking, but you just couldn't wait for the much needed talk later that night.

It was around 8 pm. You and Chris decided to drop her off at his mom's house. You didn't want what happened the day before to happen again.

You sat on the couch fiddling with your shirt end. Chris was in the kitchen getting you both something to drink before you talked.

"so um.. I got you some water." Chris said walking over to you handing you the glass of water. You thanked him Taking a sip before placing it on the coffee table. Chris sat beside you with a sigh.

"I.. I'm sorry for yesterday. I didn't mean any of it. It just slipped out because I was drunk and tired, I wasn't in my right head space in the moment and I took out on you and Bella and I'm sorry." He breathed out. He scanned your face waiting for you to speak. You shook your head, you didn't look at him but you spoke.

"yeah you're sorry, but you really hurt me. I wish I was never, that's fucked up and it hurts so much. If you never wanted to marry me why did you?"

You turned to Chris, tears threatening to spill over. The look on your face hurted Chris, he fucked up big time and he knew it.

"no, I didn't mean that, I swear. I love you more than anything. I don't regret marrying you, it was just a stupid mistake... I'm sorry baby."

Tears were starting to form in chris' eye. He felt guilty, he knew no amount of words could fix what he done but he was sorry more than anything.

"you promise?" You looked at him. Your lips were trembling Because of your crying.

"I promise." Chris said. He cupped your cheek with his hand. He placed a light kiss on your nose, but it wasn't enough for you. You went way too long without kissing him, you weren't going to waste another second not.

You grabbed his chin kissing him. Somehow his chap lips felt soft. They felt like home to you, you missed them so much.

You pulled away looking back at Chris. "I have something I need to tell you." You said fiddling with his hands.

"I'm pregnant."

Chris gave you a sour look, you already knew why. "You know?" Chris nodded, "the doctor called. they have an appointment for you, they want you to call them back to tell you."

You exhaled, "well... Surprise." You laughed making Chris smile. He missed that sound. He's been gone for so many nights he totally forgot how it sounded.

"can I come to the next appointment?" Chris pouted his lip making you laugh. "Of course you can. You need to your little peanut. I'm thinking it's a boy"

Chris frowned, "no I'm pretty sure it's a girl."

"you haven't seen them yet." You said to him Rolling your eyes playfully. "I know but I want another princess."

"touche."

It's not that good but thank you for reading. I had fun breaking y'all hurts on the first part lol

@chris-butt @patzammit @bval-1 @raveviolet @mrsbbarnesrogers-reading @enn-j @london-dreamer71 @harrysthiccthighss @captianamerica-is-bae @la-cey @weirdowithnobeardo @baby-i-am-fireproof @denisemarieangelina @evans713 @smyfmj @thereisa8ella @rororo06 @keiva1000 @ughitsnic @adriannajackson123 @marvelnaturalock @notyourtypicalrose @dummiesshort @onetwo3000 @hhiggs @katiew1973 @andreasworlsboring101 @skepticnovak @funfickgirl22 @hxnesthxneybee @christhickevans @melchills-j @franchesca-791 @moonlacebeam @wallowsgirl14 @areamir

@thevelvetseries @chaoticfiretaconerd @chrisevansgirl34 @a-moment-captured @shookbeech @pamelalur15 @llamaproblem @jessyballet @hazeljean2 @ohbarracuda @mrspeacem1nusone @n3ssm0nique @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @chrisevanisliterallysir @beautiful--blessing @coldmuffinpartycloud @mylittlecrazyworldofinterest @writingmeow29 @corrinez

#chris evans #chris evans x reader #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans imagines

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5sos-seavey · 4 years

Note

“PHASES” INSPIRED JJ FIC

it’s finally here after so long !! really hope you like it girl

Phases - JJ Maybank

Warning(s): some swearing

Word Count: 2416 (without the lyrics)

Tags: @snarkystarkey, @maybe-maybanks, @baby-bearie, @mayibeyoursbanks, @katie-avery, @kaceyjost

A/N: I decided to not switch through points of view but just kept writing while the povs kinda sorta change, hopefully it makes sense as you read but it might be more of JJ’s pov since the song is from the guy’s pov ALSO if you’ve seen the music video for phases I guess it’s kinda gonna be like that lol

I know you’re tryna do you, but I heard you fell off.

After a couple bad nights, and 20 cold hearts.

Tryna find a new you, but I heard you got lost.

Tryna figure your worth.

What the hell does that cost?

You and JJ had been together for a little over a year when you told him that you thought you needed some space and wanted to figure out who you were and what you wanted. At first JJ was confused, he thought you loved each other and wanted each other. “Please don’t be upset with me,” you had said to him. “Y/N I just want you to explain it to me.” “JJ, we’re so young, and I’m not saying I don’t love you, because I do, I love you so much, but I have no idea who I am. I don’t want it to be 3 years down the road and we decide that we don’t want to be together. I know that we’re young, but I honestly think that we’re it for each other. I just don’t want us to end up as that, right person, wrong time, couple.” JJ was nodding along as you had spoke, “okay. I get that. Just, please don’t like, I don’t know, forget me, I guess? Because I love you and I want to be with you.”

When I’m kissing ya, grippin’ ya thigh.

I realized you were destined and meant to be mine.

But who am I to conflict with ya livin’ your life?

Just know when you call, I’m at the end of the line.

JJ knew you were the one. He just wanted to be with you. But he didn’t want to get in the way of you finding yourself, because he didn’t want you to be the, right person, wrong time. He thought of you as the, right person all the time, no matter what. He also would never want you to feel pressure to stay with him because he wanted you to. He also didn’t know what kind of space you wanted so he would sometimes text you, reply to your story, whatever. It broke you, but sometimes you just didn’t answer him. You knew this was hard for him, but it was hard for you too.

JJ: just checking in, how are ya?

y/n: im good jj, thanks.

y/n: i know it’s been a couple weeks and we’re both kinda struggling with this but idk if we should be texting and shit while we’re figuring how exactly to navigate this. and it also won’t help in any kind of growth. im sorry jj

JJ was beside himself. He wanted to be there for you, but this was the one time you didn’t want that. He still thought it was important for you to know that he’s here for you.

JJ: i get that. don’t be a total stranger tho. if you ever need me or anything, i’ll be here

JJ never got a response to that message. But he knew, or at least hoped, you’d come to him if you ever needed.

I’ll practice my patience, while you’re getting wasted.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases.

You’ll shuffle through faces, like songs in your playlist.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

It had been about two months since you asked for space and JJ was doing as well as he could be. He spent a lot of time at John B.’s to try and distract himself with John B., Ki and Pope. Even Sarah came sometimes. Sarah was surprisingly helpful actually, while his other three friends tried to steer clear of anything to do with you, Sarah wasn’t worried about bringing you up, “well she did say that she wanted to be with you right? Don’t look at it as a breakup because it’s not. And even if it does become one, which I highly doubt, it isn’t one yet.” JJ was shaking his head, “she’s seeing other people, she doesn’t ever talk to me and I know that I don’t talk to her either, but she asked for that. I don’t know Sarah, it’s hard not to treat it like a breakup.”

Ki started to agree with Sarah, “but JJ, she said she loves you; she just needs to know who she is. You don’t want her to resent you down the road.” JJ looked at Ki in shock, she never wants to talk about Y/N, she was always worried about upsetting JJ. He couldn’t argue with them, what they said made sense, and plus, you had been talking to those two more than you had been talking to him. And that was saying a lot because you only talked to the girls maybe once or twice a week, and you always tried to avoid talk of JJ because you didn’t want to be worried about how he may be feeling; he had said that he supported you in wanting to do this, so you were just going to stick to that.

It definitely did not help JJ’s worrying knowing that you’d go out and you’d be seeing other people, going on dates, doing whatever else you were going to do while you two weren’t together. He’d just have to wait on you, he wanted you to be as sure as he was.

Hittin’ all the right cues and you’re leaving your mark.

But I know that ain’t you, you’re just playing your part.

Tryna fit in them shoes, but you take it too far.

It doesn’t matter where it takes you, I’ll go wherever you are.

It had been four months now. You can’t lie, you missed JJ, but you can’t find yourself in four months just to go right back where you were before. Obviously not saying that going back to JJ would be bad, but it still seemed to early to go back to him now.

You’ve gone a quite a bit of dates, in the beginning, they were all one offs though. Two months ago you had met someone, things were going pretty well actually. You had gone on a few dates together, but you personally thought things had been moving too fast. When you brought it up though, it did not go well. You were told that you were “self sabotaging because you don’t want to be happy.” It goes without saying that you two were no longer see each other. Maybe you were self sabotaging, you definitely weren’t doing it on purpose though. You just always had a lot on your mind.

Since then, you’ve been going out a lot again, and surprisingly Sarah was joining you quite a bit lately. You had felt bad almost completely cutting off your friends just because they were also JJ’s friends. You just didn’t want it to seem like you wanted them to pick sides because ultimately, there were no sides. Right now Sarah was over at your place and you were waiting on the food the two of you had ordered before going out for the night, “so what’s the plan, Y/N?” “Guess we’ll just go to one of the bars or clubs downtown. Can you wing-woman me,” you asked her, lightly laughing. Sarah started slightly laughing along with you, “sure. But uh, and don’t take this the wrong way but, what if we just went out to have a good time tonight? If you meet someone, you meet someone. Don’t try to force finding someone.” You looked at Sarah thoughtfully, maybe she was right. The last few times you’d gone out, and with Sarah, she helped you find someone, and you’d gone on a few dates. Maybe tonight could just be more of a chill night out, “you know what, yeah, you’re right. Do you wanna call Kiara and see if she wants to join too?” Sarah was silent for a second while she stared blankly, “um, I actually don’t know if she’s free. I think she had plans tonight, uh, with the boys.” “Oh okay that’s fine, just me and you then,” you smiled at her. Sure you hadn’t seen Kiara in a while, maybe it was mostly on you, but sometimes it sucked, guess that’s what happens when you want a break from one of your friend’s best friend.

When I’m kissing ya, grippin’ ya thigh.

I realized you were destined and meant to be mine.

But who am I to conflict with ya livin’ your life?

Just know when you call, I’m at the end of the line.

I’ll practice my patience, while you’re getting wasted.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases.

You’ll shuffle through faces, like songs in your playlist.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

For you, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases.

JJ could admit that these past few months had been hard, but what he hated to admit even more was that it was also getting easier. You never texted him and even Sarah wouldn’t talk as much about you to JJ either. She felt bad because she had started hanging out with you more and more and she didn’t really want it to seem like she was rubbing it in JJ’s face in any way. JJ did appreciate that Sarah was doing that for him, and he also appreciated that you had Sarah, he figured it must’ve been hard for you not being able to talk to any of your friends, but it is what you decided.

JJ didn’t really go out much, he didn’t enjoy it as much as he used to when he would go with you. John B. did make him go out a couple times, especially recently since Sarah was going out with you. Nothing ever happened when he went out, he mostly would just sit at their table and had a couple drinks. JJ was waiting on you.

I’m really tired of being soft spoken.

You got me broke, writing songs about you daily and it’s messing with my focus.

You fuck with him, but we both realized that he was bogus.

I’m the one for you, so why do I feel like I go unnoticed.

I’m talking more than clothes hittin’ floors.

I’m falling off track, but not the rack, like a chore.

Oh, look, another butterfly, I feel it in my core.

Even though you ain’t mine, it’s the fact that I’m yours.

It’s the fact that my life ain’t complete without yours.

It’s the fact that at night I be tryna ignore.

Catching overseas flights just to knock on your door, cause you put my planet in orbit.

Stargirl, your body’s so solar.

Promise you, baby, I’m sober.

Just wait till you give in and finally come over.

I can’t wait to tell you, “I told ya, I told ya, I told ya.”

It’s been about half a year without any contact from you, and JJ is going crazy. Not only that, but now he’s more stressed and worried than he was in the first two months. He didn’t think it’d be like this for this long. He thought maybe you could’ve even been friendly with each other but if you weren’t going to message him, he didn’t want to feel like he was overstepping and intruding on your space.

JJ was also frustrated though because he really, really, really thought you’d at least even tell him that you didn’t want to be together by now. But maybe if you hadn’t it was a good sign, right? He needed to know something though, even if it wasn’t him directly that was finding out.

JJ: Sarah, can I ask you for a favour?

Sarah: shoot

JJ: could you see where Y/N’s head is at rn? I’m kinda freaking out

Sarah: actually I can do you one better

JJ: ??

Sarah: she’s still figuring things out BUT she’s not confused about things as much and she thinks she knows what she wants

Sarah: before you ask tho, she didn’t tell me where she stands or what she’s doing. she probably figured you’d ask or I’d tell you, which I wish I could do

Sarah: I know you’re stressing, but hopefully it won’t be for much longer bc she’ll tell you something soon one way or another

Sarah: but I hope it’s in the way that you’re both happy and together :)

JJ: thanks Sarah, I really appreciate it

JJ: keep me updated if she tells you anything or you hear anything

Sarah: of course, same goes for you

Wow, at the beginning of all this, JJ definitely did not think Sarah would be like his saving grace through it all. She’s honestly been the most helpful and straightforward, making sure JJ was feeling all his feelings and not hiding from any of his friends. She wanted him to know that she was there for him, and so were the boys and Kiara.

I’ll practice my patience, while you’re getting wasted.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases.

You’ll shuffle through faces, like songs in your playlist.

Till fate brings you home, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

For you, I’ll wait through your phases, phases.

I’ll wait, I’ll wait, I’ll wait through your phases.

So much time has passed, and you knew now for sure, that you were ready to be with JJ. But since so much time had passed, with no contact at all, you weren’t sure how he still felt. What you did know was that you had to tell him everything you felt before because even though you knew you wanted to be with him, he needed to know that he wanted to be with you. There was not one bone in JJ’s body that didn’t want to be with you, but you didn’t know that.

Y/N: Sarah, do you know where JJ is?

Y/N: PLEASE DON’T TELL HIM IM LOOKING FOR HIM!!!!

Sarah: I won’t dw

Sarah: and he’s at John B.’s, we all are

Y/N: okay please all stay there

You were on your way to John B.’s and to say you were nervous was an understatement. You hadn’t seen any of them, other than Sarah, for half of a year. You just hope none of them changed their opinion of you and hated you now.

Y/N: I’m here, do you think you could try to get JJ to come out without telling him it’s me

You waited a minute until Sarah responded.

Sarah: he’s coming!!!

You waited on John B.’s front lawn and then JJ opened the door. You didn’t know what Sarah said to him to get him to come out, but he started looking around until he saw you, which caused him to do a double take. “Y/N? Wha-what are you doing here?” JJ started to come over to where you were standing. “I uh, I uh, wanted to see you. I-is that okay,” you were a lot more nervous than you thought you were going to be. “Yeah of course. Is um, something wrong?” “I guess that depends.” “Depends on what? You’re kinda worrying me.” “I have something to say to you. And I need to say it all before uh, any kind of decision is made.” “Oh um okay. Go ahead.” You took a deep breath and started.

“When I told you that I wanted to just take a break for a while, I said it was for me and to figure out who I was, which is partly true. I ended up realizing though, that wasn’t the only reason,” JJ tilted his head in confusion at you while you continued, “I realized that it was for you too. And yes, I know that it wasn’t your idea and you still supported me and the decision, but it was for you. It was for you through me. I wanted to make sure you were happy, I didn’t want you to regret being with me,” JJ opened his mouth to say something, but you stopped him, “I just wanna finish,” which he nodded at. “I didn’t want to end up being a burden on you and then have you resenting me in the future for who I was. And I know it sounds ridiculous, these scenarios that haven’t happened about problems you’ve never even voiced. But I guess I not only wanted to grow for me, but I wanted to grow for you, because I love you. I love you so much JJ Maybank.”

JJ had the biggest smile on his face as he pulled you into hug and then put his hands on either side of your face softly and kissed you. You swear you’d never been happier. JJ pulled away, both of you with the same goofy smiles. “I love you Y/N, so much. I’m just glad that we’re together again.” “Me too.” Then before JJ could kiss you again, you heard banging on the windows and when you and JJ looked, John B., Pope, Kiara and Sarah had all been watching through the window the whole time. You and JJ laughed while the four of them just cheered. “Let’s give em a show then,” and JJ pulled you into another kiss.

#jj maybank imagine #outer banks imagine #obx imagine #jj maybank #outer banks #obx #sams work

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kvngjoong · 4 years

Text

felix + nsfw a-z

im sorry about this??? Idk when i started writing this but it took a weird turn. @ felix, if you do watch fortnite porn, no one here is going to judge you sweetie.

A: Aftercare

he’s a softie, and he needs taking care of. though he may present himself as tough, and he’s always one to fight your battles for you, when it comes to aftercare with felix he wants to get a little bit of tlc and needs you to be the one who’s doting over him. he wants you to calling good boy and stroke his hair, he wants you to hold him close to you and remind him how much you love him. take good care of him, please

B: Body part

he either lips your waist or your hips, he’s not quite sure yet, he likes the way you move your hips and have him hooked so easily, he also likes when you put his hands on your waist when you ride him and he accidentally leaves tiny bruise marks in you. as for him, he surprisingly likes the way he’s so small and you can treat him like a true baby boy. he doesn’t really have a favourite for himself but it’s definitely got something to do with the contrast between how he seems and how he actually is

C: Cum

he cums a surprising amount, like an unexpected amount, and he somehow gets it everywhere unless it’s in you. saying that, you’ll still get it in your hair if you’re sucking him off, and it will still be on he bed and your hands and… it just gets messy. is this a sub thing? it’s definitely a felix thing

D: Dirty Secret

felix tried to keep this a secret for so long, he really did. you’d put his lack of a defence when others (especially jisung and hyunjin) would subtly flirt with you and you’d flirt back to see his reaction, down to the fact he was pretty laid back and didn’t care too much for the possibility of you cheating on him (cause he knows you wouldn’t, duh). as it turns out, felix enjoys watching you flirt with others and would probably enjoy watching another guy fuck you. he feels bad admitting to it, probably because he’s worried he’ll be judged, but damn if jisung wants to see how good you are with your mouth he just had to ask and felix would arrange it...

E: Experience

they feed the australian boys a whole other kinda thing, so none, but damn would you think so. watches fortnite porn. probably doesn’t know where to find ur clit. but you can teach him. you will show him everything he needs to know and he will listen obediently, cause he’s a good student and wants to please you

F: Favourite Position

literally anything. he doesn’t care. as long as you’re there and the end result is you cumming, him cumming, it’s all good. he knows some positions are better for different things, like when you’re tryna be intimate he’ll prefer missionary, but in general they’re all pretty good. you know what you’re doing and each one pleases him, so why judge?

G: Goofy

a little. he doesn’t really have a ‘sub space’ but he’s just naturally on the submissive side, so his humour and personality doesn’t really change too much when you guys are doing nsfw things. he may be quick to make a joke at a given opportunity, but he won’t be trying to change the mood completely - that would be a bit weird

H: Hair

yeah a little. not very much. he seems a bit on the smooth side but what of it he has, he does groom and keep in check. unlike his cum, it’s not messy

I: Intimacy

like he’s not 100% goofy, he’s not 100% intimate. if it’s there and the time is right for you to be intimate then he’s all down for it, but if it’s not intimate and you’re literally just doing it cause he got a boner and you’re tryna help out, he’s not gonna be ott on the intimacy. he keeps it real

J: Jack Off

not that much, he saves it for you. he’s frequent to the trope of ‘i’m horny but they’re gonna be home soon, whatever should i do’ and will time it perfectly for you to walk in on him when he’s about to cum, just so you can help him! what a clever boy. he’s a power bottom that doesn’t really have much power apart from in his brain (he’s an intellectual, unlike the rest of us)

K: Kink

so the cuckold stuff was hinted at already, and so was the sub stuff. he’s a bit of a typical sub blond, you know, the whole ‘i wanna please you so badly please let me touch you so i can get you off’ kind thing, he’s literally desperate to please you. he would probably like threesomes/moresomes, but mostly threesomes. he’s not really that kinky tbh. he likes roleplay a bit too much, but that’s how things get a bit kinkier. his fave is when he gets a full manual exam from you, the overly enthusiastic medical examiner

L: Location

anywhere tbh. if you’re there, and he’s there, there’s no problem. shower, kitchen, bedroom. they’re all rooms, you know. so it doesn’t bother him. he’s not too worried about getting caught so there’s not much stopping him, unless you are

M: Motivation

he likes it when you look a little darker than him. not full goth or anything, but he loves dark colours/black on you - anything dark. that’s not just underwear, though. literally black jeans and a black leather jacket could have him breathing a little heavier than usual and him getting touchier than he usually is. oh, there's the flirting with other guys, not that you know that much about it

N: NO

he doesn’t like being teased really. it’s not the best thing for him, and in return he won’t tease you either. so it’s a win win, really. the only person missing out is you when you wanna take things slow but felix just wants to cum. other than that, there’s not much! he’ll explore his hard limits with you

O: Oral

he prefers receiving for one reason: he’s got a bit of an insecurity about giving oral. he is still a shy baby boy who is always worried he’s not enough for you. he really thinks that he doesn’t do well enough so shies away from it. at first you think he’s making it up but after a few conversations it’s obvious that his fear is real and you decide to give him a masterclass in giving, specifically tailored to you

P: Pace

felix is on the slower side, but gets quicker with time. he starts slowly, savouring the moment as he can, but that’s soon forgotten and the one thing he wants to do is cum, same with you. it’s a bit of a mess, but it’s worth it. but technically you tip, so you can decide what the pace is, really

Q: Quickie

not really. felix will have a few quickies in his time but they’re not really worth it. not unless you’re wearing like… a black silk dress and military boots and your make up is really dark and he really can’t keep his hands off you. but even then he’d just leave early. so he avoids them unless they’re necessary, or you’re asking for them

R: Risk

he doesn’t really see much of a risk in anything. he’s a bit carefree and the whole prospect of getting caught so just rolls with it. so to him risk play doesn’t really exist

S: Stamina

since there’s not much teasing, felix can go on for ages. doesn’t mean he will, not unless you wanna, but he can keep going until you really, really can’t keep up with him

T: Toy

you can pick, he’s down either way. maybe shake it up, sometimes use toys and sometimes don’t. have him wondering each time. but don’t tease him, use it to make things more intense

U: Unfair

like before, he doesn’t really like teasing at all so he’s not gonna enjoy this element of things. you can try it but he’ll not be into it. not unless it’s part of whatever role play you’re doing. he just doesn’t seem like a guy who wants to be teased or likes to tease

V: Volume

he… he is loud. but just imagine his really deep voice as he gets closer and closer to cumming and he gets louder but somehow he gets deeper and he has his hands in your hair as you deepthroat him and… i gotta step there. he’s loud, he moans and he groans, and it’s always husky and enough to make you stop and stare for a few seconds to remember what you were doing

W: Wild Card

there was one time when you guys were a bit drunk after a birthday or something and felix practically begged you for sex. it was great sex, no lie, but it wasn’t until the next morning when you woke up in an unfamiliar room, an even more unfamiliar bed, that you realised what you had done. luckily it wasn’t jisung’s bed or the kid would have found so much pleasure in mocking you both for that. not that minho was best pleased

X: X-Ray

yeah, he’s on the smaller side. mostly because he’s tiny in general, but it’s nothing to be disappointed with

Y: Yearning

nah, not too much. felix isn’t that needy unless he’s already in the act and he’s desperate to please you. after he’s been away from you for a while though, he will start to miss you quite a bit. he’ll be the one who lusts after you each day until you see him again, and when he finally does see you he is ready to give you absolutely everything

Z: ZZZ

he sleeps after, usually be accident. he likes cuddling afterwards and tries to act like he’s paying attention to what you’re saying but a few minutes of you talking and he’s out like a light. take it as a complement, he really likes your voice and it soothes him

#Felix smut #felix reactions #Felix scenarios #felix imagines #felix lee smut #stray kids smut #stray kids reaction #stray kids scenario #stray kids imagine #stray kids #a-z

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rhimorechill · 4 years

Note

1-30 can i just have your opinion on all of them please

KDHSKHFKFB whoever u are anon ur actually my only follower ever

1. are you of the “tom nook is a crook” or “tom nook is an honest businessman” opinion ?

HES AN HONEST BUSINESSMAN !!! ur loans have NO interest and he was handing out 100k interest/month for a good while there !!!!! the only reason it dropped to 10k is b/c i accidentally made a mil while tryna get dreamies ok. the whole "nook inc owns the entire island" thing is KINDA WEIRD but like ! i mean. its still a pretty sweet deal

2. do you play as yourself or a made up character ?

i play as me !! and then everyone tells me my character is cute which ROCKS

3. where is your house located ?

well CURRENTLY. its just at the center of the island. but once i get terraforming (which will be as soon as i get lolly, mitzi, and purrl) it will be on its own little island in the middle of the island

4. who were your first villagers ?

hamlet and renee ! and bea and agent s and broccolo. oh and quillson. theyre all gone now but i moved bea into a friends island so i can visit her later !!

5. preferable method of earning bells ?

turnip runs babey !!! srsly i will pay like 500k tips and make a million in PROFIT (per run !!) its fucking awesome. i never use turnip exchange tho that shit website always stops telling me where i am in the queue

6. what villager personalities do you typically get along best with ?

i love all of them. so much. normal and lazy villagers might take the cake, but ankha was on my island for 2 days and nearly stole my heart, so snooty villagers r up there too. smug villagers ? like i mostly have experience w raymond b/c i fucking HATED quillson and keaton n ed i barely paid attention to (ed gets points tho. he shares my bday) but that goddamn nerd has a war with slugs. we love to see it. peppy villagers rock (i have THREE on my island rn... but ugh i gotta kick out merry sometime..... i love her but i just !! have too many). i CANNOT hate jock villagers those guys just wanna work out !!! and talk abt working out !!!! theyve done nothing wrong in their whole lives. uchi villagers are great too and cranky villagers r trying their best !!! every villager is good is what im saying. even quillson (i guess)

7. who is your current best friend in the game ?

MGHGSHGD felicity or raymond !!! they send me mail all the time and also i really like raymond. b/c hes such a fucking NERD of an accountant. and felicity was the first of my dreamies to move in so im 💚 when it comes to her...... SOMEDAY. lolly will also be my bff. lolly come home

8. is there a villager you want to get rid of ?

MERRY WHITNEY VELMA. PLEASE GO AWAY. U R ALL SWEETIES BUT NONE OF U MADE THE CUT. ONLY ONE OF U IS EVEN A CAT. (if you want whitney or velma pls dm me !!! someone asked for merry already but id love for them to be on islands where ppl love em)

9. do you hoard a lot of items ?

YES. i did a purge the other day and laid a fuckton of items out to give away. it did not fit and i had to shove some on the cliffs. i still have a big pile waiting to be taken. meanwhile my storage gets new items added

10. take medicine or save & restart ?

medicine is for chumps.

11. where is your favorite spot in your village ?

HMMMM i rlly like my entrance !!!! its rlly neat and has green AND pink mums + trees..... and fencing and a path. IDK i worked hard on it and think it turned out rlly well !!!! other than that maybe my shopping area ? i dont have terraforming yet so theres a lot i Havent Gotten To wrt my island (like my cliffs are almost entirely undeveloped b/c i havent placed any inclines. so theres no pathing)

12. what achievement do you want to hit the most ? (ex: golden equipment, all fish / bugs, etc)

its not REALLY an achievement but i want all my dreamies real bad. after that i want a 5 star island !! i would like a lily of the valley. or 20.

13. do you know any secret tips ?

HMMM i dont think so ?? i dont really know any secrets. ive been trying out campsite cycling and it has Not been going well tho. if u need tips on tting to move villagers out or smthn i can help w that !! this is such a vague q that im like DO i know smthn ??? that is a secret ?????? i also vaguely know abt *m**b* sp**f*ng but im not allowed to do that soooo. thats a pipe dream. fun fact: its not a secret but gardening is SO fucking complicated theres genetics n shit. its wild. thank god someone straight up gave me blue roses so i dont have to go thru that shit. also do not tt backwards when dealing with turnips. not even 30 mins to save ur 600+ prices frm closing time. They Will Change

14. who are your dreamies ?

THESE CATS (i know major shocker from tumblr user pumakittycat. app is acnh life)

15. favorite furniture item ?

HMMMM THIS IS A TOUGH ONE. maybe mum cushions ? those r cute as fuck. i love every flower item, honestly, frm garden wagons to flower stands to pansy tables to hycanith lamps to. idk the bonsai shelf ? i have one of those. i also love my sea globe. its great. WAIT DO RUGS AND WALLS/FLOORS COUNT THERES NO QUESTIONS ABT THOSE i love so many FUCKING items. also autumn woods wall, if ur out there,

16. favorite clothing item / outfit ?

my green clover dress !!!! its the best thing EVER. my full outfit also consists of a silver tiara, a cherry blossom pouchette, white fishnets, and green rubbertoed sneakers. and, ofc, clover facepaint. ALSO FOR CONTEXT. my island is named clover bay thats why im like Clover Time. Theyre Important To The Aesthetic. im also an aro bitch who loves overall dresses. b/c they slap

17. favorite museum room ?

I LOVE THE LITTLE BUTTERFLY ROOM do not even TALK to me unless ur the butterfly room in the museum THERES SO MANY AT ALL TIMES ITS SO NICE

18. cedar, fruit, or palm tree ?

FRUIT. i literally chopped down every single hardwood tree on my island and replaced them w orange trees

19. favorite fruit ?

.......Oranges

20. favorite fish ?

HM. bitterling has a special place in my heart for being my Only fish model. whale sharks also rock tho. and thats only of the ones ive caught !!! i also love frogs, turtles, and obligatorily catfish. oh and seahorses and bettas

21. favorite bug ?

HM. ladybugs maybe. and both birdwings ! maybe also emperors butterflies. possibly others as well

22. favorite flower breed ?

MUMS !!!!!

23. favorite crossbred rare flower breed + color ?

GREEN MUMS.

24. favorite villager personality ?

havent we been over this ? im a dumb bitch who likes all of them way too much

25. favorite time of day to play ?

i uh. play. all the time. i tt a Lot tho so i like setting my time to 1pm ? idk it Feels like a good time

26. favorite special visitor event or reward ? (ex: selecting an art piece from redd, aiding guliver and getting a special item, etc)

SAHARAH. im obsessed w the fucking rugs and the tickets and the lottery. i also love celeste, and gulliver has a spot on the faves list for providing lucky cats sometimes (also a fave item) and for having been to space

27. favorite kk song ?

call me basic, but bubblegum kk plays at all times in my living room

28. favorite animal crossing game ?

ACNH lmao. i never really sat down and got Dedicated to city folk, which is the only other game ive played

29. if you’ve played animal crossing before, are there any animals you’re nostalgic for ? if this is your first game, has any animal in particular left some effect on you ?

ROVERRRRR come home :( also harriet.... i Miss Her. and resetti (i REFUSE to use rescue services dont @ me). and also the bus driver guy who took u to the city. If You Were An NPC In City Folk I Miss You Now

30. share a story from your gameplay

SO. i love the little alien easter egg. i set up a photoshoot and made like a little storyline abt the aliens and stuff. i even got a flying saucer and put that down and used it. and every fucking time !!!! i do shit with aliens !!!!!!! gulliver shows up on my beach. i know he went to space in cf n stuff (I GOT FLAVOR TEXT ONE TIME-- DURING NH-- ABT HIM NOT WANTING TO GO BACK EVEN) so i think its fucking hilarious that the aliens show up.... so does he

#rhi's asks #anon #acnh #LMAOOOOO thank u for asking so much....... heres a brick wall of text

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abundantchewtoys · 5 years

Text

HS Epi: Meat p19 reaction

I... don't really know what to expect anymore.

What could the wallet contain. A Dad note. A Terezi note. Or captchalogued people?

Odds are even we won't be seeing it right away. Though I'd dread to see Dirk's omniscient narrative voice take over narration of the post-victory scenes.

Still, Dirk should know better by now than to rely on his strong points this much. They're not evened out by a reliable moral compass all the time, and he's seen the results of that before. Guess with great knowledge comes great arrogance.

"Anyway, back to the B Plot." Ah yes, the B Plot. On Earth C. Featuring A2 trolls Karkat and Kanaya.

"Right about now, Jade should be wrapping up her political presentation to Roxy and Calliope" Ah, skipping right to the end of that, are we.

"Jade’s got this disarming combo of head-in-the-clouds flightiness and the kind of legit, down-to-earth cred that can only be earned by having done something like cutting open your own grandfather and stuffing him full of polyurethane foam." Ah yes, one of these definitely led to the other.

"neoliberal austerity measures" How often can we repeat the same 3 words?

Roxy groans upon hearing the phrase “neoliberal austerity measures” for no less than the third time in this presentation." Roxy the audience surrogate. Since it's our 3rd time too.

"JADE: as i outlined here in graph b-2 JADE: and here in figure a-6" It's a good thing timelines can only be scratched the once. A6 Alternia would have been a dreadful sight.

"JADE: and here!!! in this very spooky drawing i dictated to callie JADE: (great drawing by the way!!!) CALLIOPE: ^u^" Hah, Calliope's drawing skills have found another use! Political Powerpoints.

"JADE: the thing is that jane is an establishment leader JADE: shes looking at doing things the way our old universes did them JADE: shes pretty convinced that shes going to be able to replicate the capitalist hierarchies that earth had but in a more “responsible” way JADE: but none of that stuff actually worked!!!!!" That's a nice summary of the things that are wrong to Jane's approach, actually. Though it doesn't provide an answer to the underlying problem yet.

"ROXY: and u think karkat can do better? JADE: i think its worth it to give him a chance JADE: hes a leader of the people AND hes experienced firsthand what happens when establishment goes too far JADE: which i imagine you can sympathize with!" This really feels like a boardroom conference, with Jane trying to get a preliminary backing out of a captain of industry.

"Her graphs are floating around the living room in disarray." Hah, she's using her space powers for this in another mundane application. Though... not in any offical setting, it seems. Roxy and Calliope's home.

"CALLIOPE: i’m... CALLIOPE: going to get Us tea and snacks. woUld yoU like some, jade?" To be fair, Calliope's probably going to follow Roxy in her eventual decision, anyway. Her childhood fascination with trolls might have been abandoned for new interests, or she might trust her friend's judgment in matters political.

"Calliope excuses herself from the conversation, and flees to the kitchen, seemingly making no attempt to disguise the fact that she is in fact fleeing." What a cutey. Calliope might in fact be trying to flee anything reeking of negativity, associating it with black romance and such.

"Jade deflates as she watches her go, sensing that her presentation wasn’t the slam dunk she was hoping for." It's so easy forgetting that the narration is also at least in part steering the story at this point. >_<

"ROXY: well i gotta say ROXY: this has been a hella convincing argument all in all ROXY: buuuuut idk if i can help u out" Maybe they would actually like to stay neutral?

"She and Calliope live in a belfry above New Prospit. One end of their living room is an oriel window that looks out over a public park. The other disappears into an arcading hallway lit at the far end by a giant stained glass window that Calliope made herself. The corbels supporting it have windy, abstract shapes carved into them." Artsy! I didn't know what to picture for their living space, but actually Calliope taking to carapacian art-deco and giving it a cheruban twist really works!

"That’s what keeps Jade Harley flitting from couch to couch, relationship to relationship. She can’t stop thinking to herself that “home” comes awfully close to rhyming with “alone.”" Home Alone, huh?

"Home is John, who doesn’t call anymore. Home is when Rose and Kanaya welcome her in from a cold night and help her set lyrics to her sick basslines. Home is here, snorting at Roxy’s irreverent method of storytelling and admiring Callie’s art. Home is Dave and Karkat." This REALLY reminds me of the Tramp, as he had a home in every street he frequented.

"ROXY: im alls ABOUT the sowing of discord among my childhood friends" She's had quite her fill of the dramas. That's a valid reason to stay out of it. She'll just have to weight it against the downsides of not influencing the outcome of the election in any positive way.

"JADE: dirk got to you first ROXY: not even ROXY: i got no problem tellin dirk where to stick it lmao ROXY: but dirks not the one running JADE: you think hes NOT the one pulling the strings behind the scenes? ROXY: sure but give janey a lil credit" On the one hand I'm glad Roxy's got such a backbone, on the other hand, off course we know Dirk's still influencing the outcome at the moment. Also, uh, he's got no issues invading the lives of his friends personally, even after telling us off on the subject first.

"ROXY: but shes yknow JADE: ruthless? :B

Roxy frowns. Jade is being pretty unfair." I get the feeling Jade is less good at filtering her words lately. And I also get the feeling Dirk is starting to sow a little conflict.

"ROXY: shes gotta be miss perfect all the time for the billboards n press meetings ROXY: always wearin those power suits trying to look like a big bad bitch JADE: you mean like....... the condesce? ROXY: wow ouch JADE: im not just imagining it though, right??? JADE: you see it too JADE: not to dredge up something horrible from your history JADE: but her whole image is just kinda...... *woof* ROXY: is that what you guys think? ROXY: u and dave and karkat?" It's something they should have brought up via intermediary channels to Jane on beforehand. Not let fester until all they could think of to "stop" her was introduce a late-to-the-party candidate.

Jade might also be doubly upset with Jane for seemingly mirroring the Condesce, as they were both brainwashed by her.

"Roxy leans forward and stares Jade down, like she’s searching for something behind Jade’s eyes." That's the same thing she did with John! Guess she's trying to find out some of her secrets.

"Jade unwittingly responds in kind, looking for meaning behind Roxy’s gaze. But she comes up empty. And to be honest, so do I." That unfathomable personality might be your spanner in the works, Dirk. I can only hope she's secretly onto him. Her Void powers manifest the 'obscurity' different from Equius.

"In the spirit of full disclosure, Roxy’s the only one left I haven’t been able to crack. Her mind remains a total enigma to me, just like it always has." It's interesting, since they share so much in childhood upbringing, progeny, demeanor even at times...

"invisible, even to increasingly omniscient parties such as myself" *coughDocScratchcough* ... What would Reload Roxy be doing right now, assuming the session's timeline didn't stop when Caliborn's soul 'left' it?

"ROXY: but shes not betty crocker ROXY: and i luv her and i dont wanna hurt her feelings" N'aww.

"ROXY: and thats p much all there is to say on the matter" Second time the phrase's been used in the epilogues!

"CALLIOPE: oh, i’d rather stay Uninvolved, thank yoU." Passive player to the brink.

"CALLIOPE: i feel like interfering in both politics and a personal argUment between my friends woUld be impolite as well as kind of... stressfUl, to be honest. JADE: yeah JADE: sorry callie i probably shouldnt have put all that on you CALLIOPE: less apologizing, more snacking!" It's nice to see they're cutting her some slack. A horrible childhood, an early death, a spiel as a ghost... Oh, sure, she's one of the good guys and as such would have some responsibilities in the end, but it's nice for a change they don't expect too much from her. Maybe a bit too little for her own good, but still.

"Calliope claps her hands together. It’s a bright noise. Her tone of voice is bright too. All these years and she still can’t believe that she has so many friends. She smiles at Jade, and Jade smiles back. The tea tastes great. The cakes are even better. Callie’s an artist in everything she does." ^u^ Aww, that warms my heart at least.

"JADE: wow callie youre such an amazing hostess!" ... Well, she's a more excellent host than Doc Scratch, for sure!

"ROXY: psst not “her,” “them”" ... I see! Well, guess we'll be getting some more insight into the androgyn bodies of cherubs and how Calliope has updated her self image over all these years? Caliborn still had the giant eyelashes, so it stands to reason there were also other, more masculine traits to Calliope's body even when she still shared it with her brother.

"JADE: oh wow!" Oh, I figured Jade already knew about Calliope's preferred pronouns, but it seems not!

"CALLIOPE: bUt i did take comfort in “being a girl” for a very long time. this is something i’ve only recently decided." ... I just remembered how Calmasis also was this androgynous figure. ... I wonder if Calliope will be thinking about a name change.

So, I don't think Roxy's haircut is a sign she's genderfluid now too, but I imagine a lot of fanart has already been created for butch!Roxy by the time I read this.

"ROXY: m-me too actually" Oh. N-never mind then. That caught me unaware! I didn't see that in Roxy. For one, despite all the pink and the ponies, she didn't seem like she felt "trapped" in a role to me. Unlike Calliope, where I can see how she might have felt obliged to embrace everything not-Caliborn.

But this does shed a whole new light on Mom's overly childish and girlish bedroom in the lab. Like she was trying to compensate for something. Uhm... It might also be one of the main reasons behind her drinking problem. Her embracing girlish, adult woman habits but never feeling like they 'fit'.

Well well. Homestuck's main characters continue to be representation incarnate.

"Wait.

What?" PFFFFFFFFFF. I love it. Dirk's reaction is gold. Guess this completely blindsided him too and didn't shed any more lights on the inner workings of her mind than he thought. So even if he knew she was holding something back after the "yea", and maybe encouraged her to keep speaking, he didn't know what to expect.

"Roxy? Seriously?

Like I said, fucking inscrutable." Dirk has NOT just had an "I knew it!" moment.

"I never would have guessed. Not that I’ve spent much time contemplating issues related to gender. I’m pretty secure in my expression of masculinity, and..." That's a suspiciously specific acknowledgement, though, Dirky boy. :P

"You know what? Fuck this. I don’t owe anyone an explanation of any sort on this topic. I’m confident with who I am, what I am, my gender, as well as my understanding of the concept. You want my honest opinion? It’s fucking fantastic. Good for them. Both of them, I mean, but also, both of them in a singular fashion, since each one can now individually be referred to by the conventionally plural word “them.”" Pffff, of all the things. I didn't think this would have Dirk fly off the handle in such a Dave-way, while still narrating, but I'm happy to see it. In an out-of-story sense, Dirk is currently the audience surrogate, showcasing what a "true fanboy"'s reaction could be like, if they were both shocked to the core but mature enough to get over their shock without throwing around accusations and tantrums.

But yeah, at least the aloofness is gone from his voice, for just this time.

"I’m ecstatic for this personal development they’ve embraced, for the people they are, the lack of gender they identify with, and the pronouns they prefer. I’ve got no problem with it whatsoever, and frankly, it’s fucking insulting anyone would ever imagine otherwise." I can picture him speaking through gritted teeth, it's glorious! 'This is good, this is fine. I am doing great!'

"ROXY: ahah hahaha hell of a way to come out" Ooh, so she's not even out to Jane or Rose yet!

"ROXY: what even is gender" That is SUCH a Roxy thing to say. Also, almost stoner like. Picture Gamzee going like (in his quirk): 'Have you ever really THOUGHT about gender, man? I mean, really THOUGHT about it.'

"Jade looks at where her hands are folded in her lap. Bites her lip. She has her own concerns about this, her own thoughts. Reasonable thoughts, I’d say." "ROXY: i mean that was all stuff from our old universe ROXY: whyd we even bring it here right? JADE: right" I think for Jade it's not something she'd discard so easily! I mean, it all depends on whether 'gender' is something antigonal to your self image, in the end, I guess. If it isn't hindering you... that's how you stay heteronormative in some or all elements.

"Calliope takes a teacake between two of her claws and eats it delicately, hyper-aware of the horrible gnashing and snapping her powerful jaw is capable of.

CALLIOPE: my ideas aboUt gend—

SHIT. Between two of /their/ claws." HAH. Oh my god. The narration cut off Calliope. ... Pffff, though it IS a good callout, since I've been using gendered pronouns still to refer to Calliope. Whoops!

"CALLIOPE: i sUppose i only thoUght of myself as a girl because my, Um... CALLIOPE: my brother took mascUlinity qUite serioUsly." A) Still not saying his name :P B) Using his preferred pronouns.

"CALLIOPE: by which i mean, he became very enthUsiastic aboUt all the things it sUpposedly meant to be a boy. CALLIOPE: cherUb existence is dichotomoUs, bUt not in the same way hUman biology is. CALLIOPE: i sUppose oUr view of hUman cUlture indirectly inflUenced alternia’s development, which in tUrn affected yoUrs, which is something i’ve had a lot of time to think aboUt since we came here." Oh right! Lord English & Doc Scratch helped shape Alternia's development, so in a lot of bad ways there was a focus on power and masculinity, which may have trickled down into Earth's because of who created our universe, and thus it might all have been a self fulfilling prophecy, what Caliborn's gender identity is concerned! Guess we were due another one of these loops. :P

"ROXY: so much of what earth c thinks what boys and girls “SHOULD” do comes straight from the imagination of a bunch of dumb teens ROXY: which is totally FUCKED JADE: sure" Yes, and so much of what Earth C "should" be like, as a victory state reward planet, and the epilogues by extension, exists only in the imagination of a bunch of dumb humans spread over this globe. :P I reek a callout. Not undeserved, mind.

"She probably would have loved being a “they” when she was a teen." (Referring to Jade.) I'll grant you that, Dirk. But I thought you were doing paraphrasing other people's thoughts for the course of this conversation?

"i liked the idea of dirk" He'll love to hear that. :P Well, you know, Karkat had the same thing, he loved the idea of Condesce as a powerful leader, if not always the result of that leadership.

"ROXY: and also literally no one else on the entire planet was alive at the time

ROXY: but we had some babies without even bein consulted about it anyway so w/e" Context!

"JADE: personally im a big fan!

And like that, Jade’s smiling again." Nothing like Dave & Karkat to lift her mood. :P

"The storm clouds pass so quickly in her world, you almost wouldn’t have thought there was anything wrong at all. Roxy and Calliope certainly didn’t notice.

But there is something wrong. And this time, they’ll notice." Uhhh, wrong with Jade? Or something wrong with Earth C in general? Besides Dirk taking over, I mean. Oh no! ... Calliope left the kettle on! :P

"JADE: i... JADE: i.........

Jade drops her tea. The cup hits the floor and shatters." ... Is she passing out?? Just like Rose??

... Oh no. This doesn't have anything to do with John going back, retconning the timeline, and some of their selves being killed right? It shouldn't influence them, since they're from a different timeline, but with the talk about canon and relevance and truth and shit...

Is Dave going to pass out next???

Did John accidentally change the Reload timeline to be the alpha one, and is the future adjusting to the changes??? Or is it due to something to do with Lord English' powers in killing a different 'real' version of them?

"She takes in a sharp breath. She’s not feeling well suddenly. She’s dizzy, feverish, seeing things beyond her field of vision. A blinding flash of light. A black, perfect circle, burning a hole in her eyes." Wow. Just like John, she gets a vision of the Black Hole! So, maybe it's more like she gets backlash from suddenly absorbing the memories of Reload Jade.

"She doesn’t look bad at all— Jade wears unconsciousness well, having spent the better part of her life napping." Aaaand we're back in sleeping beauty terrain.

"But she can’t hear her. Jade is somewhere else right now." Uhhhhh. I thought they didn't really dream in the dreambubbles post-victory no more?? Also, those were all destroyed by LE, anyway.

Dang. That's weird.

Are the B1 kids (adults) actually going to be gathering in the Furthest Ring in 'person'? But why, and how? ... There isn't anything like a 'dreambubble self' body that persists in the Furthest Ring that John could have woken up like how you could wake people up on Derse and Prospit. ... Now I'm reminded of an old fanart I made of a green moon circling the Green Sun, with green dream selves for all humans & trolls we knew at the time (B1 and A2). :P

#homestuck #upd8 #reaction #homestuck liveblog #homestuck epilogues #spoiler alert #roxy lalonde #jade harley #calliope

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hypereactive · 5 years

Text

1. Who was the last person you held hands with? my best friend

2. Are you outgoing or shy? shy

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? my best friend

4. Are you easy to get along with? depends. i try to be, but im also REALLY picky/have strong opinions on a lot of stuff, and im autistic..

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? yeah

6. What kind of people are you attracted to? a caring one, who listens before judging

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? yeah

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? my best friend

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? sometimes

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? probably my best friend

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? “o”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? uhm. I like A LOT of songs.

billie ellish- bury a friend and you should see me in a crown

rag’n’bone man - human

rebel - black pearl (hes a pirate)

Aladdin soundtrack - Prince Ali and one jump ahead

arctic monkeys - Do I wanna know?

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? rarely

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? yea

15. What good thing happened this summer? new job, in my field of study

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? yepp

17. Do you think there is life on other planets? probs at least simple life

18. Do you still talk to your first crush? only if I run into him getting coffee (he works there)

19. Do you like bubble baths? if im in the mood

20. Do you like your neighbors? one i do, one i absolutely dont, the rest i dont interact w

21. What are you bad habits? im REALLY picky, and can come off as ungrateful (if u can’t do it right id rather u just not do it. apparently its more common to think at least you got something/they tried.)

22. Where would you like to travel? Anywhere w the right people. Nowhere without.

23. Do you have trust issues? kinda. More like I understand people wont understand me or meet my needs adequately.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine? morning coffee

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? my chin/teeth

26. What do you do when you wake up? if I have ResponsibilitesTM i get up and get coffee and leave the house in less than 20 min, otherwise i lay in bed on tumblr until i have to get up due to responsibilities or hunger.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? im good w where its at tbh

28. Who are you most comfortable around? my best friend

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? yeah.

30. Do you ever want to get married? yeah

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? lol yesss

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? none?

33. Spell your name with your chin. bdfuds

34. Do you play sports? What sports? not really. i like frisbee and longboarding if those count.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music? TV

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? no. I cant keep secrets.

37. What do you say during awkward silences? i usu dont. ill just go on my phone/leave/etc

38. Describe your dream girl/guy? my best friend.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? hot topic

40. What do you want to do after high school? lol im not in high school

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? depends on what they did and why, and if they want to grow as a person/make it right

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? im tired/overwhelmed/content/bored

43. Do you smile at strangers? if i lock eyes with them and they smiled, i might smile back, but im pretty good at Not Looking At People

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? ocean

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? ResponsibilitiesTM

46. What are you paranoid about? having a heart attack and no one being around to help me/not noticing until its too late

47. Have you ever been high? yea

48. Have you ever been drunk? yea

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? no

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? black

51. Ever wished you were someone else? no, but i have wished my parents were

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my chin probs. idk i like myself

53. Favourite makeup brand? i dont wear makeup

54. Favourite store? this is a duplicate question.

55. Favourite blog? uhm.

56. Favourite colour? black/grey/light pink/raspberry/celery green

57. Favourite food? cheese, cheddar brats, spinach, chocolate chip cookies, milkshakes

58. Last thing you ate? rice w beef, spinach, egg and soy sauce

59. First thing you ate this morning? coffee and nutella

60. Ever won a competition? For what? I think so but i cant remember. Oh i think I won an anti-bullying poster competition once.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? lol nopee

62. Been arrested? For what? no

63. Ever been in love? few times now

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? uh. no. cuz i didnt even like the dude.

65. Are you hungry right now? no

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? i only have one real friend so I feel like thats unfair

67. Facebook or Twitter? tumblr.

68. Twitter or Tumblr? still tumblr

69. Are you watching tv right now? lol no

70. Names of your bestfriends? no, bc hed not appreciate it

71. Craving something? What? not rn

72. What colour are your towels? grey or floral w pinks and blacks and oranges

72. How many pillows do you sleep with? 3

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? yes, usu. 2

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? total? uh. 8?

75. Favourite animal? birbs prob.

76. What colour is your underwear? why?

77. Chocolate or Vanilla? chocolate, unless its ice cream. then vanilla

78. Favourite ice cream flavour? berry (any) or cheesecake (also any)

79. What colour shirt are you wearing? grey

80. What colour pants? a darker grey

81. Favourite tv show? uh. i like sherlock.

82. Favourite movie? deadpool probs. or pirates of the Caribbean. or Aladdin. or detective pikachu.

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? never seen either

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? never seen either

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? n/a

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? uhm. I cant remember. Probs the black and white one w the scar, or the starfish, or the sea gull

87. First person you talked to today? my sister

88. Last person you talked to today? my best friend

89. Name a person you hate? my past roommate

90. Name a person you love? my best friend

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? my past roommate and most recent ex

92. In a fight with someone? currently? no? ever? yes.

93. How many sweatpants do you have? 5

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? 6

95. Last movie you watched? i dont know

96. Favourite actress? i dunno

97. Favourite actor? i dunno

98. Do you tan a lot? no

99. Have any pets? no

100. How are you feeling? i dont know

101. Do you type fast? yeah

102. Do you regret anything from your past? yeah, but not overly

103. Can you spell well? i think so

104. Do you miss anyone from your past? no

105. Ever been to a bonfire party? i dont think so, but i want to (w the right people)

106. Ever broken someone’s heart? yeah, oops

107. Have you ever been on a horse? yep

108. What should you be doing? cleaning my house

109. Is something irritating you right now? no

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? yea

111. Do you have trust issues? yea

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? my best friend

113. What was your childhood nickname? B. as in, just the letter

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yea

115. Do you play the Wii? no

116. Are you listening to music right now? yea

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? not usually

118. Do you like Chinese food? i think so

119. Favourite book? uhm. sherlock (the whole series). the uglies series (scott westerfield). the secret garden. Fahrenheit 451. 1984.

120. Are you afraid of the dark? no, but sometimes im afraid theres something in it

121. Are you mean? no

122. Is cheating ever okay? no

123. Can you keep white shoes clean? if i want to

124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no

125. Do you believe in true love? im not sure i know what this means

126. Are you currently bored? no

127. What makes you happy? i dont know

128. Would you change your name? no

129. What your zodiac sign? gemini

130. Do you like subway? i cant eat there

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? lol weve been dating for a while now

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? my best friend

133. Favourite lyrics right now? uh. I dont know.

134. Can you count to one million? that would take a month, so no.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told? i dont know. probably that i couldnt go to work bc i was “throwing up from a migraine” when i hadnt thrown up (yet).

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? it varies

137. How tall are you? i think im like. 5′8″?

138. Curly or Straight hair? curly. but not consistent

139. Brunette or Blonde? i am a brunette

140. Summer or Winter? winter. i can always wear more clothes

141. Night or Day? night. its quiet and calm

142. Favourite month? august and october

143. Are you a vegetarian? no

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? yes.

145. Tea or Coffee? yes. depends on time of day/year/mood/etc

146. Was today a good day? i dont know

147. Mars or Snickers? mars

148. What’s your favourite quote? “if you cant explain it simply, you dont understand it well enough” -einstien is one of them. but there are more

149. Do you believe in ghosts? i dont know

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? “aunt lillian’s footsteps became more distant, became whispers, were gone.”

@ramblebrambleamble i got bored and answered all of them

#about me

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sleepyreddie · 6 years

Text

Richie Tozier X Reader Headcannons (platonic to relationship)

💗Pairing: Richie Tozier X Reader

Requested: YES - yoooo, how about some hc's about richie being fucking flustered when they first met reader¿ like idk at this point they are already teenagers or smth and he is known for being derry's heartthrob or something¿

a/n: flustered Richie is an art in itself. Thats all im gonna say. I love writing for my boy. Thanks for the request! Hope you enjoy! (I am so sorry this took so long oh my god)

🔥 Warning: (aged up, maybe 15-16)

Richie being Richie (aka dirty jokes and semi sexual innuendos)

Swear words

Word Count: 1643 (oh my)

Okay

Richie Tozier was like a magnet

To boys and girls alike

“Derry’s heartbreaker” was an earned nickname of his (along with Bucky Beaver and Trashmouth, of course)

He had built a name, as well as a persona for himself in the small town of Derry, Maine

That is, until you showed up

Because… damn

He had never seen someone so pretty hot

(he was one of the only people you had been attracted to within the first couple weeks of moving to Derry and starting at school because he was very nice to look at)

He was in a couple of your classes and the two of you took to staring at each other when the other wasn't looking

And then glancing away really fast so you weren't caught (spoiler, you always caught him)

The problem, however…

He had never really talked to you, minus simple questions about work

He prefered to admire from afar

Very far

Something about you made him very confused

He had talked to so many other girls before

And when I say so many, I mean SO MANY

But yet, he had never had this problem before

he was always so confident, but everytime he tried to string together a sentence around you he could barely get one word out

And for the first little while, you thought it was because he wasn't interested

You had heard of the rep he had built for himself

Some called him a ‘player’

‘Emotionally unattached’

‘Goes from girl to girl’

you figured that’s just the way he was

(Which was a complete disappointment because you found everything about him really attractive)

Like, e v e r y t h i n g

A n y w a y s

You were pleasantly surprised one day, when a boy named Ben Hanscom introduced himself to you and invited you to sit with him and his friends at lunch after the both of you tried to take out the same book in the library

So, the next day, he found you after class and you followed him to met the rest of the ‘Losers’, as he called them

And you almost felt your heart fall out of your body at the sight of the one and only, Richie Tozier, joking with whom you presumed to be Ben’s other friends

And you would not believe how surprised and excited he was when you sat down across from him

He physically had to restrain himself

Stay cool, Richie

“You guys, this is Y/N, she’s in my language class. She just moved here.”

The kids you didn't know started to introduce themselves - Stan, Bill and Beverly

you already knew Eddie from your science class. He had refused to participate in the frog dissection project, almost throwing up before he made it out the door. You didn't blame him. He seemed weak on his knees.

“And Richie, yeah. I’ve seen you around. We have Soc. together”

Remember how I said Eddie was weak on his knees?

Richie couldn't feel his knees

Or the rest of his body

Forget being cool

YOU KNEW HIS NAME

He was screaming on the inside

Beverly was instantly drawn to you because you were a girl

Richie was 50/50 on this

Because HE wanted to be the one talking to you and making you laugh because your face was so pretty when you laughed

But while you were busy talking to Beverly, he had time to stare

According to the Losers, this boy had no feelings whatsoever

But they had started to notice something different about him

Like he was being e x t r e m e l y spaced out

You didn't really notice, as he was always kind of that way around you

Sort of, a less crazy version

You found it strange, as the Losers always told you stories were Richie would do something crazy and it just seemed so unlike him because you had never really seen him act that way

One day, they knew something was up when Eddie said something that would have normally set Richie off into a spur or inappropriate jokes

This was definitely the day Richie realized there was a lot more to what he thought was just physical attraction to you

So Eddie spoke, and braced himself for Richie’s comments

But nothing

“Richie, did you hear what Eddie just said?”

“... mhm”

And then they realized he was staring

Right

You

“Richie, s-s-seriously? She's our friend, stop b-b-being such a loser”

“Shut it, Bill. Your a loser”

“Oh my god”.

“You like her.”

He got all red faced and sweaty palmed

“What? No, thats f-fucking - you g-guys, no, uh, no way w-”

“Okay Richie, you’re starting to sound like Bill”

And then everything kinda made sense to them

How he always stared at you when he said something to get a reaction

Or watched you for surprisingly long as you walked away

Or always seemed to walk next to you any time it was possible

And always talked about you when you weren't around

And that's when his friends realized something was actually wrong with him

Like, who was this love struck teenage boy?

They didn't even know that Richie was capable of feelings

He would have most definitely on multiple occasions bailed on asking you out

Because every time he saw you, he was speechless.

He took to staring at you every chance he got

People started to notice that Derry’s resident playboy had suddenly toned down his endless flirting and had stopped making out with new girls every day

No one, besides the Losers, knew why he had suddenly become so different

Him and his friends would stand in the hallway and you would walk by with Bev and holy shit Bill does she always look that pretty? Like I think those legs would be amazing wrapped around m-”

“Richie I swear to god if you don't ask her out, I will”

Richie knew Bill didn’t have the guts

But he also knew he didn’t have them either

He thought you were so amazing

At least that's what he told Eddie

All. the. Time.

And yet he did nothing about it

He wanted to, so bad

But he was worried he would just ruin everything

You, on the other hand, were convinced that the two of you would never happen

The boy had no problem flirting with other girls

But he didn't even really talk to you

you had given up on trying to make conversation with him

as he always got all... weird and awkward

But then Bev convinced you otherwise

She knew Richie liked you and you liked Richie, but she found it much more amusing to not tell either of you

The Losers were kind of sick of it, because apparently it was blatantly obvious that the two of you were i n l o v e

“No Ben, I’m not putting a note in her locker”

“Fine, I’ll get Eddie to do it for you.”

“Ben, no.”

One thing's for sure, he was a confused boy

He didn't understand how one person could make him feel the way you made him feel

He also didn't really understand why when he saw you laughing with Bill it made him want to strangle himself

Which is exactly what he almost did one day when the you and the Losers were hanging out

He didn't, but he huffed and stormed out of the room with a cheap excuse because in the moment you seemed so much more interested in Bill than you ever would be in him

The Losers took one look and you and Bill talking and knew exactly what was up

You, on the other hand, were confused

“What just happened?”

And Beverly just glanced between you and Bill and suddenly you knew exactly what was up so you got up and headed out after Richie into the hallway

“Richie, what the fuck… ?”

“Y/N, why don't you just go back and hang out with Bill, he probably misses you”.

“What? Richie, what's wrong with you?.”

“Whats wrong with me? What's wrong with you?”

“Wh-”

“I fucking like you, okay? I have ever since I saw you walk into school for the first time and I felt like I was gonna pass out because your really hot, and every time I saw you after that I felt confused and fucked up because I actually really fucking liked you, and not just because your hot but because your funny and nice and deal with me, and I didn't know how to tell you, and it's hard enough to hide that I don't like you when you're practically sitting on Bill’s lap and ignoring me”.

Fuck

That was most definitely not that way he was planning on telling you

You were still trying to process everything when he turned and started to walk towards the front door

“Richie?”

“What.”

“Your hot too. And your funny, and smart, and nice. And if you wanna ask me out, you should go for it”.

And with that, you were gone, back to where the Losers sat in Bill’s living room.

And he followed right after you and spoke right in front of the rest of you friends

“So, what, are we dating now?”

You shrugged and nodded at the same time

“What the hell happened in that hallway?” ( = Stan smacking Eddie as Richie sits down besides you)

And this time, as the night went on, the butterflies he got were good

Because he had finally gotten what he wanted

You.

Final a/n: I hope you guys enjoy this! it is a lot longer than I thought it was going to be lol, which is why it took so long, I just didn't know how to finish it lmao. I hope you like it! 👍🏼 I am accepting requests! please send them in!

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bts-write · 6 years

Text

I fucking care- Murphamy Oneshot

A/N: Ahhh I finally finished this!!! For some reason it took a lot longer than I thought it would. I’m disappointed that it’s only my second fanfic for Pride Month but I’m just doing my best. I guess starting halfway through June because of exams slowed me down a bit XD.

Summary: IM SO BAD AT SUMMARIES UGH idk basically they’re all chilling in space (John and co. after Praimfaya- so it’s set after season 4 and before season 5) and John lowkey fancies Bellamy but of course he doesn’t even wanna admit it to himself but he kinda gives himself away cos he does something really cute and Bell is like omg does he like me and he lowkey confronts John about what he did and well...feelings come out and shit is revealed and it’s gay angst so yeah! (I was way too tired whilst writing this intro don’t judge me)

Requested by @bunker-boyfriends

The window looked out on emptiness. Distant stars, a distant Earth. It drove John crazy, being locked in space, the same people day in and day out, no way to escape the fact that he was just another broken light in the circuit of the Ring. There were no distractions. No job that he was good at. And now, no hand to hold his own, no one to whisper reassuringly.

He felt his mood darken further when he saw Harper touch Monty’s arm, drawing him closer, their bodies locking in an embrace. It made him feel colder, as if there was nothing separating him from the icy vacuum outside the window. He tried to turn back to it, to look at the stars instead, but the pain demanded to be felt.

Someone walked to his side and still, John couldn’t tear his eyes away. But then the voice brought more pain, and his eyes moved greedily to look.

“Hey”, Bellamy had greeted.

It had been one word, yet it had hurt more than any happy kisses shared by giggling couples.

“Don’t you have some minor problem to fix? Some decision to discuss with Raven?”

He didn’t want to push him away, but it was instinct. An instinct that had grown into his skin in the past years, an inborn illness magnified by the lethargy of space. There was not enough self esteem for him to face the shining heroes of the Ark.

“Or maybe you need to show off in front of Echo for a bit. She’s so whipped. Go on, lead her on a bit more.”

Bellamy nodded to himself, accepting John’s taunts. There was no point in trying to stop the sharp remarks. But it hurt nevertheless, seeing John punish himself by pushing them all away.

“I’ve made my feelings clear to Echo. Whatever she felt, it’s gone.”

John scoffed. The memory of Echo sauntering around Bellamy, trying to catch his eye, was still bitterly sharp in his mind. It didn’t matter that Bellamy hadn’t felt the same. It had turned John’s blood to fire, seeing them practice together, Echo oblivious to her failure, smirking and purring whenever she pinned Bellamy down. Sometimes it had seemed dangerously close, the possibility of a new couple on the Ring, ready to fill the void left by John and Emori.

And even though he’d had no right, he’d also felt himself scowling whenever Emori found solace in Raven’s company. John had been full to the brim with jealousy, bitter and unexplained, sometimes spilling from his eyes at night, more often, through sharp words from his mouth. He’d pushed them all away, to see if they cared enough to come back. Maybe he’d pushed too far.

“Murphy, I’m not here to talk about Echo.”, Bellamy brought John back, words so tired and listless, John stopped himself. He stopped whatever avalanche of insults was ready to pour out and drown the tired man beside him.

Bellamy hesitated. “I asked Monty about my rations from last week. Why he was giving me more food than he should. And he said someone was giving up theirs.”

John’s heart jumped into his throat. He tried to shrug. “I’m not surprised, the algae soup doesn’t exactly boost appetite.”

“He wouldn’t tell me who it was, when I asked him.”, Bellamy continued, trying to catch John’s eye. “But I heard Raven talking to you the other day. Something about food rations.”

John remembered Bellamy’s bedridden week, and the constant anger, like a squeezed fist around his heart, loosened a little. He remembered the worried glances, the tense silence spreading through the Ring. The half-hearted suggestions of remedies for the coughs and headaches. But they were no doctors. The best they could manage were the sympathetic looks, and that wasn’t enough.

John had taken his suggestion to Raven, but she’d thrown it back in his face in a panic. They couldn’t risk more people getting ill. John should stay away and keep eating and let them handle this.

It had hurt. He’d thought that for once, he might have an useful idea. Raven had snatched that away. But why shouldn’t he try? Apparently the best he could do to help was stay away. So surely they wouldn’t miss him if something happened to him. It would be worth it to help Bellamy. They needed him more than they needed John.

“Talking to me? More like screaming in my face.”, John answered, swerving around Bellamy’s silent question. But then the question ceased to be silent.

“It was you, wasn’t it? You told Monty to give me your rations because I was ill.”

John tried to swallow, but his throat had an invisible grip around it. Excuses seemed futile now, on the brink of discovery. But admitting his weakness to Bellamy was as terrifying as seeing him ill had been.

He’d been so pale. Skin hot and clammy, eyes drooping with each laboured breath. With his old vitality gone, there had been no black fire lighting up his eyes.

It had been Bellamy’s body. Reduced, shrunken, yet still his body. But it hadn’t been Bellamy. Only a shell that croaked whispers instead of growling threats. The familiar short temper hadn’t been there to greet John’s teasing. Bellamy hadn’t been grumpy, hadn’t even scowled. He’d barely been able to keep his eyes open.

So John had to do something. The hunger hadn’t been so bad. Not compared to the empty hours of waiting. Waiting for Bellamy to stand up from his bed and start shouting at John to stop sulking. Waiting for a miracle.

“It wasn’t a big deal”, he said, avoiding Bellamy’s eyes. “I slept through it most of the time. And like I said, that algae soup wasn’t appetizing anyway.”

“You could’ve made yourself ill, Murphy!”

Bellamy’s tone pulled at John’s heart, a violent wrench that made his hesitant eyes reach out for proof. It shouldn’t have been real. But it was there, even showing on his face. As if he cared. For John. As if John’s sacrifice had meant something.

John wanted to shake his head. Laugh it off. It hadn’t been a sacrifice. It had been a small incident, an act to soon be forgotten as things on the Ring settled back down. But Bellamy’s eyes were holding his own, and they burned with their old fire again. Only this time, it was warm. It was a hundred small flames from a hundred different feelings, and John thought he understood them all.

“I couldn’t just let you-”, John choked on the fear behind his honesty. It was terrifying, to remove the mask from his words before he spoke them.

“You were so ill, Bellamy. I had to do something.”

He thought Bellamy might shout at him. Call him an idiot. That he would have been ready for.

“Thank you.”, Bellamy said, his eyes still holding John’s, still warm with their hundred flames.

For a moment, they were both too scared to act, too frozen in uncertainty. The moment floated between them, a heavy air sparking as if with electricity. John wanted to move, but any move seemed a mistake he couldn’t afford to make. And he didn’t know what to do.

Bellamy looked away, the fire running from something more intense.

John wanted to run too. Behind his walls, back to before Bellamy’s illness. He wanted to run from the silence, from the weight of unspoken words.

Bellamy looked back. He looked at the way John’s clothes seem too loose for him, the way his stubble covered sharp cheekbones, a face so thin that all traces of humour had turned dark. And it was partly because of him. For him. And space. It had turned John sour, and nowadays the blue eyes were mostly grey.

Something stirred in his heart. Some discomfort tugging at him at the sight of John’s frailness. It was sadness and something else, something a little sweeter.

“Why do you care?”, Bellamy asked. “Why do you care what happens to me?”

John shrugged. “Because without you this ship would be emptier. I guess I’ve grown fond of this little space family. It makes it easier to be the outcast.”

“Murphy, you’re not-”

“I am. I am an outcast, but it’s my fault. And sometimes I don’t want to be.”

“Then why push us away? Why push Emori away?”

“This is not about Emori!” John could feel his pulse burning hotter.

“Do you not love her?”

“I do. But I’m not in love with her. Not anymore.”

John pondered the silence, wondering whether it was too late to turn back their honesty. “Just like you’re not in love with Echo anymore.”

Bellamy rolled his eyes. “I never was in love with her. And I don’t think she was in love with me either.”

“Have you seen the way she looked at you?”, John laughed.

“Like she wanted to kill me?”, Bellamy suggested, raising an eyebrow.

“Like she was trying not to look away. Like she was trying to be braver than she was.”, John mocked.

But then his tone softened, his mind drifting away. “Like looking at you was the most terrifying thing in the world, but like it was worth it nevertheless.”

The silence deepened. Bellamy’s hands found each other, fumbling.

“I guess I wouldn’t know...I’ve never really-”

“What? You’ve never been in love, Bellamy? You’re lucky.”

“Why?”

“Because it hurts.”

“I’ve heard it can be pretty good.”

“What did you hear?”

“I’ve heard that it can make you smile a lot. Even if you’re not with them, you think of them and it just happens.”, Bellamy shrugged, fighting his own smile.

“You seem to be smiling a lot right now.”

The smile turned bashful at John’s words, shying away until it disappeared.

“Sounds like you’ve got more experience than you think.”, John concluded, trying to redeem his mistake. “Whoever she is, I hope she’s worth it.”

John’s small voice, his fading smile, the fragile frame drooping under baggy clothes, they all tugged on Bellamy’s heart. A regret for the fear behind his actions.

He wanted to smile again, hold onto it and embrace the fact that yes, he was smiling a lot right then. But he didn’t know how to say it, and he didn’t know why.

“Murphy-”

John was still studying his hands, folded together to tight that his knuckles turned white.

“John.”

John’s hands clenched tighter.

Bellamy’s breaths turned shallow. “I didn’t- I think maybe I was wrong”, he stuttered, his words stumbling over each other. “Maybe I do know what it feels like.”

He took a deep breath. “When I saw you with Emori, Monty with Harper, I thought maybe Echo’s company wouldn’t be that bad. Maybe that’s why I didn’t push her away at first. But then you and Emori broke up, and even though she was a friend who was hurting...I felt- I wanted to stop pretending with Echo. I realised she wasn’t what I wanted. And I hated myself for it but... I was glad you pushed Emori away.”

John’s head was spinning. It was as if the sound waves were tumbling over each other, mixing up words, carrying muffled half sentences to his ears. It was dream-like, it was impossible.

“And when I found out what you did for me”, Bellamy continued, “I realised how much it meant to me. That you cared. But it terrified me, the fact that you could’ve been sick or hurt. Is that- is that what it feels like? The good and the bad?”

For some reason, John’s voice trembled when he spoke, and his eyes filled with emotion. He felt pathetic, too much relief, fear, too much of everything being too much for him.

“Is that what what feels like?”

“Being in love.”

All the hidden emotions, everything John had been ignoring for years broke through the surface, and he sobbed too hard to speak.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”, Bellamy asked, that impossible care still in his voice, his arms moving to hold John’s shaking body.

There were a million things John could have said, or forced himself to say. But instead he cried, sobbing in Bellamy’s arms, not letting himself talk because trying to speak would have been more embarrassing than simply crying in silence.

When John felt like he’d cried his soul out and was nothing more than an empty shell, he leaned weakly against Bellamy, whose arms were still wrapped around him.

“I’m sorry.”, John said, too worn out to manage more than a monotone whisper. The million emotions that had mixed together through the years had now drained out through his eyes, leaving emptiness behind.

“What happened? Why were you crying?”, Bellamy asked.

“Did you really mean what you said? Because I really don’t feel like being played with, Bellamy.”

“It was because of what I said? John, I’d never do that.”

Bellamy pulled away, his hands on John’s shoulders, holding him at arm’s length.

“John, I don’t know much about this. But you just made me realise that I’m in love with you. And I have been for a while. I wouldn’t joke about that.”

“You really must not know shit, because how the hell could you just admit that in front of the person you supposedly like?”John spoke lightly, too weak to fight Bellamy or to look away, to pretend he didn’t care.

Bellamy smiled. “I guess I was pretty certain you felt the same. You’re not exactly subtle, Murphy.” Bellamy’s hands moved up John’s shoulders, resting in the crook of his neck.

John was too tired to worry and doubt. The tears had washed so much away, that all he could do was live the feelings he was feeling right now, it was too hard to remember the past. So it felt easy to mirror Bellamy’s smile.

“You cocky shit. How could you be that self centered? And just stick with John please, it was really hot.”

Bellamy laughed, his hands cupping John’s face. “So you believe me? You admit you like me back? No more pretending, no more sulking and pushing people away?”

Part of John wanted to defy the infuriating confidence, prove Bellamy wrong. But the feeling of the hands on his skin was too intoxicating to deny.

“I never said anything about liking you. But even if I accept you, it doesn’t mean I have to talk to anyone else. You’re just too hard to resist.”

“You’re contradicting yourself, John.”

“Fuck, just kiss me already you coward.”

“I’m the coward? I’m the one who actually-”

John muffled Bellamy’s words with his lips, bringing years’ worth of struggles to an end, and finally sealing his dreams with a kiss.

#the 100 #bellamy blake #john murphy #murphamy #raven reyes #emori the 100 #murphy x emori #monty green #monty x harper #echo the 100 #praimfaya #the 100 fanfiction #murphamy fanfic #the 100 oneshot #bellamy blake fanfiction

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pinksausageduo · 6 years

Note

hey baeee. i thought i would take longer to come back but hERE I AM. you're so kind and sweet... your simple words makes me wanna cry and idk why tho lol i miss you so much i just want to come back and be closer to you!

pt 2: omg when i wrote 'i miss you so much' hahah i wrote it without thinking of Beautiful lol and now i just realised it. you see, it's wanna one trying to make me come back. they love both me and you together. jkjglhjrht ok sorry. i'll download tumblr now. i'll read all the stuff i haven't read yet and i'll come back later to tell you my thoughts. prepare yourself, i think there will be a lot! kisses

pt 3: omg wait you likes stray kids too???!!!!!!! omG LET'S MARRY RIGHT NOW OMG. R-I-G-H-T N-O-W! RIGHT FREAKING NOW. omg last night i had a dream with Chan, he was my cousin but i liked him, i had a crush on him. it was new years party and we were at our aunt house, there were a lot of girls who were jealous but he didnt care hahaha i think he loved me too aaaAHAHAHAHAHA OMG okay sorry lol he isn't even my bias but i lol i loved it. who's your bias? mine's hyungjin and jisung. WAH - joy hope

pt 4: okay, wait. i might have to wait a little more because i don't know what to delete to then download tumblr lol okay, it'll take some time now. but i promise i'll try to be fast.

pt 5: also lol on the last message i sent you, the one about stray kids, i think i've put Hyungjin instead Hyunjin. my bad lol i realised it just now that i was about to write Hyunjin but in my keyboard's dictionary it's written as Hyungjin. omg i hate this freaking keyboard. sorry lol - joy hope

THIS IS AN ESSAY LMAO is what i wanna say before reading it

BUR SHSHHASHDO WHY ARE YOU SO SWEET take your time seriously as much time as you want but ummm if you're sure about deleting things go ahead?? BUT STILL i kinda feel bad LIKE MAKE SURE THEY’RE NOT IMPORTANT. this isn't sounding any better aspdfaiod anywayssss YES WANNA ONE LOVES YOU AND ME TOGETHER i agree 100% totally. I've actually missed you so so much but I'm glad ill get to talk to you soon!! also take your time reading! btw i also have my side stray kids blog but I've only posted 2 scenarios on there. i need to edit my jihoon heirs before posting it too SO LOOK OUT FOR THAT ONE.

AND SHSAOD I LOVE STRAY KIDS WITH ALL MY HEART MIND BODY SOUL AND SPIRIT and okay dream is cute fact he's your cousin creepy asf cause no to incest BUT ITS A DREAM SO MEH WHO CARESSS but awww i love hyunjin and jisung too they’re such cuties but my bias is

FELIX LEE MR IM FROM SYDENY AUSTRALIA KILLING ME W MY OWN COUNTRY’S ACCENT WITH THE MOST GORGEOUS SMILE IN THE UNIVERSE (well tied with woojin) AND CUTEST FRECKLES HE MAKES ME SO SOFT AND HES SUCH A GOOD DANCER AND A CUTE AND HE WORKS SO HARD AND I JUST LOVE HIM ALOT

ya i have it bad i know but changbin and jisung ARE WRECKING ME aosdjaod actually take that back ALL OF THEM ARE

but ill wait for how long you need no rush!! don't hurry okay!! and ya lol thought it was a typo BUT I CANT WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN ILY

wow i just wrote an essay too lmao

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yoon-kooks · 7 years

Text

Beginner’s Luck

Pairing: Seokjin x Reader

Summary: You were never a believer in online dating, but things weren’t exactly working out offline either. So what was it that you were missing?

Genre: Fluff, Gamer!AU

Word Count: 3.5k

Prompt: “Can I kiss you?” (request by anon)

You laid on your bed staring at your phone screen, mindlessly swiping left. Your best guy friend, Jungkook, had suggested you try out some dating apps since meeting people face-to-face was a bit difficult for a shy snowflake like yourself.

It had been a few hours since Jungkook had set up an account for you, but you had yet to find someone who really caught your eye. Not that looks were all that important to you anyway. If anything, you’d prefer not to see their face and just get to know their personality instead.

“You might as well deactivate your account if you have no intentions of swiping right,” Jungkook glanced over at you before turning back to his laptop screen, “Shit, I just died.”

“I just don’t get how meeting someone online could ever work,” you rolled over to see what your friend had “died” in. All you saw were a bunch of little anime characters running around attacking a giant fish that literally took up half the screen. “I haven’t seen this game before… Is it new?”

“Ya! It came out a few days ago and I’ve been hooked ever since!” The boy clicked something to revive his character and travelled back to where you assumed the giant fish was. “You should play too since I haven’t made too many friends yet!”

“What about Tae?” You tried to avoid getting yourself involved in Jungkook’s gaming addiction by name-dropping the other gamer in your friend group.

“Nah, I asked him but he’s too busy playing Overwatch,” Jungkook shrugged. “The boy’s an addict, I tell ya.” You rolled your eyes at the biggest addict you knew.

“Well what about the people you met in the game?”

“There’s this one guy, Jinnamon, who goes to the same school as us, and I actually met up with him the other day in person.” The boy cursed under his breath after dying again. “He’s a pretty cool dude, but he kept making weird dad jokes.”

“If that’s your only complaint, he can’t be that bad, right?”

“I suppose…” Jungkook finally just flipped his laptop over and rage-quit after dying for a third time. “I GIVE UP. Here, if you don’t wanna make your own account, just use mine because I’m 100% done with this shit. It’s a stupid game anyway.” You snickered at the boy’s childish temper because you knew he’d be back online after a few hours of boredom. But in the meantime, you decided to check out the game that had gotten him all fired up.

It wasn't just a fighting game, you learned. There were also little mini games and quests you could do with other people, and also places just for chatting. You walked around the town where most people gathered for a little while and then headed to where you thought the giant fish was. It took you about ten minutes to find it, but once you did, you started hitting random buttons on the keyboard to use all different types of magic on the fish. And before you knew it, the fish had been slayed so you picked up the fish bone that dropped. You didn’t understand why a veteran gamer like Jungkook had had such a hard time defeating the monster when it had been so easy for a newbie like yourself. But what were you supposed to do next??

“Hey Kookie?” You tapped the shoulder of the boy who had fallen asleep on your bed, but he was out. Probably because he had stayed up all night playing the game. Not wanting to interrupt his sleep, you decided to ask someone else.

You searched for some kind of messaging system within the game, and once you did, you realized you were only able to message people on your friend list. Since Jungkook had specifically mentioned that Jinnamon guy, you clicked on his name to start a chat.

Nochu: “um hi”

Jinnamon: “oh its u again”

Jinnamon: “i thought u left me lol”

Nochu: “no that was my friend ^^;; he didnt like your dad jokes lol”

Jinnamon: “wait ur friend? u mean jungkook? who r u then o.o?”

Nochu: “Y/N”

Jinnamon: “o im seokjin btw but just call me jin ok”

Nochu: “lol i understand your username now. thats cute😹”

Jinnamon: “rlly? most ppl hate my puns LIKE UR FRIEND”

Nochu: “wowow someones salty hehe”

Jinnamon: “im NOT”

Nochu: “you kinda are /:”

Jinnamon: “ANYWAY. why is a peasant like u speaking to me?”

Nochu: “peasant???”

Jinnamon: “obviously knights like me are superior to mages like u”

Nochu: “i dont really know what youre talking about but okay???”

Jinnamon: “wow what a noob”

Nochu: “gtg bye”

Jinnamon: “WAIT. im just kidding! rlly. what do u need?”

Nochu: “i killed a fish and idk what to do???”

Jinnamon: “lol what fish?”

Nochu: “the big one in the cave that takes up like half the screen? idk what its called”

Jinnamon: “wHAT”

Nochu: “???”

Jinnamon: “pics or it didnt happen”

Nochu: “what pics?? all i have is this fish bone item???”

Jinnamon: “tHATS THE QUEST ITEM OMFG U RLLY DID KILL IT WTF”

Nochu: “what do i do with it?????”

Jinnamon: “give it to me of course lol”

Nochu: “how do i do that?”

Jinnamon: “omg u rlly r a noob”

Nochu: “what?? ive never played this before!! how am i supposed to know??”

Jinnamon: “first of all the trading option is on the bottom right of the screen”

Jinnamon: “and second dont just give away ur quest items to strangers lol”

Jinnamon: “so now that we cleared that up, what r u gonna do with the fish bone?”

Nochu: “give it to u???”

Jinnamon: “omfg no… ur hopeless”

Jinnamon: “i guess i have no choice but to take u under my wing”

Jinnamon: “can we meet up?”

Nochu: “like in person??????”

Jinnamon: “ya its easier to explain this stuff in person”

You thought about it for a moment. Jungkook did say he met up with this Seokjin guy before and that he was a pretty cool dude from your university, so it was safe to assume he wasn’t a creeper at the very least.

Nochu: “okay lets meet in front of the school library in an hour?”

Jinnamon: “got it~ ill send u my number so we can text”

You logged out of the game and packed Jungkook’s laptop into your bag. Honestly, you were beyond nervous about meeting Seokjin in person. While you were fairly comfortable with keeping up a conversation with him in the game, you weren’t sure how things would go outside of that environment. But you reminded yourself that the two of you would have the game to talk about, so there was no reason to worry about any awkward silences.

You glanced at the mirror to check your outfit before scolding yourself for making it seem like a date. Just as you walked out of your apartment, you silently said bye to Jungkook who was still dead asleep.

It was a sunny day on campus, a nice change from the darkness in your room that Jungkook loved to play his games in. When you reached the library, you scanned the area for an empty bench to sit on as you waited. But thanks to your luck, all the benches were occupied with at least one person. Of course, there was still room for you to sit next to someone, but the thought of that gave you butterflies.

Just when you were about to take a seat on the brick wall instead, you noticed a lone boy sitting at one end of one of the longer benches. If you sat there, it probably wouldn’t be so bad since there would be a fair amount of space between you and the boy. So you approached the bench.

“Um, excuse me, is it okay if I sit here?” You stared at the boy who was significantly more attractive up close than from a distance. He definitely stood out with his broad shoulders and his more than handsome face with beautifully plump pink lips.

“Yeah, go ahead,” the boy nodded, “I’m just waiting for someone.”

“Oh, me too,” you smiled at his adorable choppy bangs before taking a seat at the opposite end of the bench. Who knew such a stunning boy existed at your school?

You checked the time on your phone and saw that you were about five minutes early. Rather than text Seokjin immediately, you decided to wait a bit so he wouldn’t feel rushed.

To kill time, your eyes began to wander. Your campus was known for its breathtaking scenery, but somehow all you wanted to look at was the choppy bangs boy. He was looking down at his phone, texting away. You wondered who he was waiting for. A date maybe? The only thing that snapped you out of your daze was the vibration of your phone.

2:02PM Seokjin “im here~”

2:03PM noob “me too lol”

2:04PM noob “wait where??”

2:05PM noob “i just realized i have no idea what you look like lmao”

2:06PM Seokjin “im sitting on one of the benches”

You noticed Choppy Bangs looking up from his phone and scanning the area.

2:07PM noob “uhh… youre not the guy sitting next to me right lol”

2:08PM noob “the guy with the choppy bangs?”

2:08PM Seokjin “…”

2:09PM noob “oh shit it IS you o.o”

“What do you mean ‘oh shit’??” Choppy Bangs turned to you and made some kind of a squeaky windshield wiper sound with his laugh. “And they’re not choppy bangs!”

“Sorry!” you giggled. “So you’re really Jin?? I didn’t expect you to look like that.” You were still in shock that you were the lucky person the handsome boy had been waiting for.

“Like what?” Seokjin raised an eyebrow at you. “I swear, Jungkook said the same exact thing when he saw me for the first time. Like, am I really that handsome?”

You just nodded, trying not to laugh. Maybe he came off a bit strong, but as a shy person yourself, you actually really envied how he embraced his good looks and spoke so comfortably around you. “Shall we go inside, then?”

The two of you made your way into the library and found an empty table next to the window. Rather than sit across from you, Seokjin took the seat right next to you. But it made sense since he needed to show you how to play the game properly.

“Was that really the first time you played this game?” Seokjin asked with big eyes as he brought out his laptop from his bag.

“Ya, I swear!” You took out Jungkook’s laptop and waited for the game to load. When you were presented with the log-in screen, you realized you made a grave mistake. You had no idea what Jungkook’s password was.

After logging into his own account, Seokjin stared at your confused expression for a second and picked up on your problem. All he did was make his squeaky laughing sounds.

With bright red cheeks, you called your friend and prayed that he would pick up to tell you his password. Otherwise, what was the point of meeting up with Seokjin? You’d feel terrible if you made him come all this way only for you to be locked out of Jungkook’s account.

But of course, Jungkook didn’t pick up. He was probably still fast asleep and wouldn’t wake up for who knows how long. So you sent him a text instead in hopes that he would get the message some time soon.

“He better reply quickly,” you groaned.

“Well, in the meantime,” Seokjin slid his laptop in front of you. “Show me how you killed the fish~”

“What? You still don’t believe me?” you smirked.

“Well considering you can’t even get past the log-in screen, no, I don’t believe you.”

“Okay you have a point hehe,” you smiled as you looked at Seokjin’s character, which also coincidentally had his same choppy bangs. You pressed a few buttons, but rather than magic attacks like Jungkook’s character, you were swinging a sword around. “Hey, this is different from Jungkook’s guy.”

“That’s because I’m a knight and he’s a mage!!” Seokjin shook his head at you. “Didn’t I explain this already?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know what the fuck knights and mages are!” you pouted, shoving the boy next to you.

“That’s because you’re a noob,” he teased, giving you a light shove back.

“At least I could kill the fish thing!” You moved Seokjin’s character back to the giant fish’s cave and waited for it to spawn.

“Hmm, we’ll see.” And with that, the giant fish appeared. You jumped around and swung your sword, but it was a lot more difficult to control a knight. Just when the fish’s health bar was lowered to the red, you fell victim to one of its attacks where it literally threw up water in your face. A tombstone dropped and Seokjin’s character became a ghost.

“Omg look! You died! You’re a ghost~” you giggled, pointing at Seokjin’s floating character.

“Listen, the fish was supposed to die, not me,” the boy chuckled at your innocence.

“Sorry I couldn’t get you the fish bone though…” You made duck lips and tilted your head in Seokjin’s direction.

“That’s alright,” he patted your head. “You’re not bad for a noob.”

“Stop calling me a noob! You’re the noob~” You grabbed his hand off your head and started pulling at his fingers. “What do you need the fish bone for anyway? Can you become rich and famous with it?”

“You just give it to some witch for a quest. It’s a pretty useless item actually,” he shrugged.

“What! I thought it was important!” you whined. “I thought I was really cool for defeating the fish!! You made me feel special!!”

“I mean, you were the first to kill it, so that’s pretty cool, right?” Seokjin swatted at your annoying hands that were still tugging on his so he could properly entwine his fingers with yours.

“I guess…” You were starting to feel a bit foolish for thinking you were some hotshot after killing some fish in a video game, but Seokjin was really making you feel extra special with the way he held your hand so gently. And you didn’t want it to end.

Buzz! You jumped at the sudden vibration in your pocket. Whoever sent that text better have had a really good reason for interrupting your moment.

3:34PM Kookie “my password is ilyjustin”

3:35PM Kookie “wait why do you need my password?”

3:36PM Kookie “wait where the fuck is my laptop?”

3:38PM Y/N “i have it lmao”

3:39PM Kookie “???”

3:39PM Kookie “dont break my baby”

3:40PM Kookie “oh god its too early in the morning for this shit”

3:41PM Kookie “good night”

You put your phone away, a little upset that Jungkook had ended up responding so quickly. Things had been going surprisingly well without Seokjin even teaching you how to play the game. You just felt good around the boy.

“I guess I can log into Jungkook’s account now…” You flipped the laptop screen up and began inputting the password, but Seokjin was quick to put a halt to your typing.

“Maybe we should take a break?” He got up and stretched before extending a hand out to you. “We can always play online later, right?”

You nodded and took his hand into your own before you had the chance to chicken out. “So where are we going?”

“Have any suggestions?” He swung your hand back and forth. You had to take a moment to think, but there actually was a place you had been dying to visit. And the only reason why you hadn’t gone there yet was because you had no one to go with. But now you did.

“The aquarium!” Your eyes sparkled. “I wanna see big fish!”

“Like the one you slaughtered and then got slaughtered by?” The windshield wiper laugh came out again. It was a sound you were growing really fond of.

“Yeah~ Can we go?” You looked up to Seokjin, who smiled back at you.

“Sure~”

“Oooh! Jin, look!!” You repeatedly tapped the boy’s shoulder until he turned to the flat, gliding creature you were pointing at in the tank. “It’s cute, right?”

“You think stingrays are cute?” he asked. “You have really weird taste, ya know that?”

“I like most fish, okay?” you pouted and crossed your arms like a child. “All of them excep-” You cut yourself off and took a step away from the tank when you saw a giant grey and white fish with rows and rows of dangerously sharp teeth staring right at you. “Except that.” You hid behind Seokjin and peeked out from his broad shoulders.

“Aww I thought you wanted to see big fish?” he teased.

“But not a shark!!” You clung to the back of his flannel, shaking as you kept an eye on the great white.

Suddenly, Seokjin’s large hand wrapped around yours as your heartbeat slowed and returned to its normal pace. It wasn’t hard to feel safe in his hands. “Let’s go look for other big fish, yeah?”

“Okay…” You were still pouty, but you really enjoyed holding his hand. It just felt so natural and right. And you appreciated how much Seokjin was trying to make sure you were comfortable.

The next room you walked into was darker than the rest. You stayed as close as you could to Seokjin in case any shark wanted to jump out at you, even though you were well aware that that was physically impossible.

Your eyes grew big and your mouth formed a big O when you looked at the glowing tank in the center of the room.

“You like jellyfish too?” The boy chuckled at the curiosity in your eyes.

You only nodded. The way the jellies flowed and glowed so effortlessly in the water felt unreal. Almost as unreal as the fact that you were genuinely falling for a boy you had just met online. And you needed a moment to let all your feelings sink in.

“Hey, Jin?”

“Yeah?”

“What did you think of me when I first talked to you online?”

“I thought you were a noob. And it turns out, you really are one.” He leaned his head on your shoulder. You elbowed his stomach. “But I also thought you were pretty cute and innocent. Turns out I was right about that too.”

“Really?” You looked up to the boy with your puppy eyes. “Because to be honest, I didn’t expect you to be cute at all~”

“What!”

“But I’ll admit I was wrong~” you giggled. “You’re super handsome and nice, and I really liked spending time with you, and-”

Seokjin cut you off with a warm embrace. Your whole body felt the heat radiating from the boy’s chest. He’d make an excellent snuggle buddy, your pure and innocent mind noted. “Today was fun,” he spoke into your ear.

“It was!” You gave the boy a huge smile as your eyes wandered right onto his plush pink lips. There was only one more thing that could make the day any better. “Can I kiss you~?”

The next moment, you felt his lips pressed up against yours. You had thought nothing would feel better than holding his hand, but the sensation of your lips locking with his was more than enough to solidify everything. You had found the one.

Just earlier that morning, you were swiping left on some dating app, doubtful that meeting someone online would ever result in a relationship or love. Four hours ago, you were fighting some stupid fish. Three hours ago, you were insulted by some boy calling you a noob. Two hours ago, you met that same boy in person. An hour ago, you accidentally turned his character into a ghost. And just now, you kissed him as if a spark had gone off somewhere in your heart. It was never that meeting someone face-to-face was difficult, or that online dating was a hoax. It was just that you hadn’t found the right boy until that very moment.

You just had one hope as your lips parted with his. When you left the aquarium, when you went back to playing that silly online game, or when you decided to quit the game because it was kind of boring, you only hoped your relationship with Seokjin would continue to bloom, both online and off.

“Hey! We never found the big fish!!” you cried, walking out of the darkness of the aquarium and into the brightness of the setting sun.

“Oh shit you’re right…” Seokjin stroked his imaginary beard. “Okay, here’s a question to make you feel better.”

You tilted your head with a confused look.

“Are we… o-fish-ally dating?” You weren’t sure if you were laughing because the joke was so terrible, because the windshield wiper laugh came out once more, or simply because you were with the boy you loved.

“I suppose we are,” you giggled, wrapping your arms tightly around Seokjin as he planted a kiss on your forehead. “And by the way, I was kind of waiting for you to drop a dad joke all day.”

“Sorry to keep you waiting!”

“It’s okay, let’s just go and fight the other big fish together~” You gave him one last peck on the cheek before heading home, hand in hand.

A/N: Shoutout to any og maplers who caught my pianus reference LMAO~

#bts scenarios #bts imagines #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #seokjin #jin #bts #bangtan #jin x reader #seokjin x reader #seokjin fanfic

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hwallsgrl-archive · 7 years

Text

kconla ‘17

this is more or less a post for my own reference bc i tend to forget things rlly easily... and i really don’t want to forget this weekend!! sorry if this is unreadable.. like i said, it’s mainly for my own reference ghfjdksn

friday convention: pretty uneventful seeing as it’s only the first day... me n my friend lined up to try for the w1 hitouch but we were told to come back at 2pm. we had heize’s audience engagement to go to at that time, so we just ended up buying w1 banners and nametags anyways bc tbh.. we didn’t have a chance at winning LOL.. (i heard fansites bought all the merch tho? so at least we got our stuff before that madness). a lot of people were selling their heize passes, so the rest of our party bought them to go in and honestly.. it’s a loss for the people who sold them !! heize is one of the sweetest n down to earth people i’ve ever met/seen... someone in the hi-touch area got her an olaf backpack and she was so excited!! she also said she really liked the vibe of la and that more people showed up than she expected (which broke my heart HJKDS). she also describes herself as a “srapper/ringer” bc she says she likes both singing and rapping... im gna fast forward to the cosmic girls audience engagement which was.. life changing tbh.. they’re all so pretty and cute irl, but bona couldn’t make it for some reason :( yeonjung sang miracle + secret, dawon did eunseo’s “hing~”, and meiqi did luda’s “mollah-ah”. they were also asked who they wanted to switch bodies with and from what i can remember, dayoung wanted to switch bodies with dawon (bc in her words, dawon is “hot, tall, and sexy” HJFSHLJ), and luda wanted to switch bodies with seola (bc she’s really pretty.. and i agree!! all of them are!!!) cheng xiao is my bias but unfortunately she didn’t say much..... also every idol whose never been to la wants in n out but i don’t blame them, it’s good!! i didn’t have that great of a view either bc the people in front of me were already tall + they were against the barrier which adds another inch or so to their height.. but overall it was a cute n fun audience engagement!! we went home afterwards bc there was nothing else left to do..

saturday convention: we went early bc my friend had sf9′s audience engagement so while we waited for her to finish that, me n the rest of the party just went around the convention hall and got free stuff :’)) when she came back, we went to juncurryahn’s meet and greet. he’s rly nice and talented, but i don’t watch his videos so i didn’t know what was going on majority of the time... afterwards we were going to get food and i was going to line up for seventeen’s audience engagement, but on the way out i saw people already lining up outside? when i asked what was going on, a guard told me to wait in the indoor waiting area but when i went there, vixx’s audience engagement hadn’t gone in yet. i asked the woman scanning bracelets but she told me to go outside. when i told her the situation, she then said i could stay inside. thirty minutes later, more people came in and started complaining so she told us all to.. go back outside lmfao... when i headed back outside the guard said the waiting area was full, so i’d just have to sit around until they started letting people line up again... i did meet a few more carats in line tho so i guess? it’s fine.. i also got a mingyu fan from one of his fansites, like u! it was super hectic inside bc a lot of people were crowding me and i was getting anxious, but the carats i met in line were nice enough to check up on me every few minutes to make sure i was okay... and seeing seventeen..... made my heart stop.... i couldn’t get a good view bc 1) im short and 2) people brought posters and constantly held them up whenever their biases talked.. it was a good experience but the only thing that bothered me was people screaming whenever a member tried to talk... i’d hate to be biased but seeing dino in the same room as me was the most memorable.. like he actually glows irl and he’s so handsome and pictures don’t do him justice!!!!!!! also junhui? ethereal. he can’t exist like.. he’s too handsome. they then played a dice game where each number means they have to do a certain thing.. dino got freestyle dance (how fitting...), seungkwan and wonwoo got fav pop song (when we were young + see you again, respectively), jeonghan and joshua both got aegyo, dk got random dance (and he threw the dice inflatable into the crowd and.. mightve hit someone ? idk i only heard him apologizing!!), and mingyu got sexy dance (hgfjdkl it was funny bc he started off fine but got rlly awkward n shy). everyone and their mothers are hip hop team stans btw... after that i left to go find my friends at the mwave stage, where they were doing signed album giveaways. oh my girl was having a fansign at star square in thirty minutes and i happened to be near the barrier where they walked by... in the midst of waiting for oh my girl to come out, my friend’s number was called for an album and he got the night version of astro’s dream pt 01 signed by all members!! literally 3 minutes later oh my girl came out and??????? they’re so pretty i was FLOORED.. i could only get a good look at jiho’s face before a guard stepped in front of me tho.. but i did see all the other member’s side profiles and? i love girls. wow. once that was over, we went to go get food and line up for the concert when the friend who won the album said he didn’t listen to astro.. and he gave it to me....... i started crying

saturday concert: HJFKDSLHJFK IT WAS WILD TBH!! the pre show was really good w/ juncurryahn playing crush’s beautiful on the violin and dancing to not today.. then it was krnfx and he beatboxed a few songs.. also lydia paek joined him for bs&t which was cool!! the first mc’s for the night were scoups, joshua, and vernon and i kind of.. lost my shit HJKDSLHJFK.... i don’t rmr the exact order but i do know that sf9 was the first act and they performed fanfare, jungle game, and easy love. also when they did the whole robot acrobatics thing in jungle game? my face was like :O the whole time!!!! chani looked like a cute lil pumpkin and zuho... is spicy... after that was cosmic girls and I LOVE!!!! THOSE SPACE ANGELS!!!! SOO MUCH!!!!! they performed happy, i wish, and secret (though i really wanted them to perform miracle...) i’m not a big fan of girl’s day but they’re sooo beautiful and they performed i’ll be yours, something. and ring my bell.. i knew nothing about suju d&e but they did 3 songs! the only song i can recall the name of is oppa oppa, which is really catchy... vixx’s act was really good!! they performed shangri-la, black out, and fantasy, but i was thinking about haknyeon and ravi’s lil head twirl part the whole time ghjdfkl.... vixx had a thing called ‘pinata time’ and got photo session, and they made cute poses around the stage so fans could take pictures of them. seventeen was the last act and ................ it was life changing, truly... they performed don’t wanna cry and I STARTED CRYING BC I LOVE THOSE BOYS SO MUCH AND WORDS CAN’T DESCRIBE HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO ME AND HOW MUCH THEY’VE DONE FOR ME.... they had a pinata time and got everyone in the venue to dance to mansae which made me tear up again... they shot signed tshirts into the crowd in reserved seating!! mingyu + jun + woozi had to share a gun and after they shot one shirt, mingyu was trying to put the other shirt in and almost broke the gun HJFKLHJSDK... jun was interacting w/ the crowd all while woozi n mingyu were trying to figure it out.. like he was just shrugging and being his cute bubbly self.. eventually a staffer had to come up and help them lmao.. they also performed boom boom and aju nice which put me in the happiest mood!! i wanted them to perform pretty u which is like.. my fav song.. but i would have started UGLY CRYING so i’m glad they didn’t... somewhere in between cosmic girls invented the song i need u and sf9 covered sorry sorry... both groups danced together for the last chorus or so for sorry sorry..... also all of svt’s units performed a song! performance team did swimming fool, vocal did habit, and hip hop did check in. but saturday’s concert was amazing and seventeen.. really did change my life..... i also hope hoshi is feeling better !!!

sunday convention: got lost on the freeway and we all started freaking out bc we thought we’d miss wanna one at the innisfree booth. fortunately we made it in time, but the booth was already packed and there were people pushing and shoving. the security was really rude and told people near the back “if you cant see anything you’re wasting your time, what are you doing with your lives??” though i get he was doing his jobs.. there’s better ways to just tell us to back up lmao... i also i stood next to a baejin fansite (cheese bae) and they gave me a banner! my friend and i got claustrophobic and left, but i’m glad i did bc the people in front of me were a good 7 inches taller than me and when wanna one showed, the pushing got so bad that kcon threatened to end the session. the rest of the party stayed and said that they were only there for 5 minutes and that they looked visibly upset (understandable bc of the whole airport incident. i don’t blame them if they hate la lmao). they did get a blurry video of baejin and daniel tho so.. they airdropped that to me. we did pretty much everything the convention hall had to offer and no workshops/panels really interested us so we just hung around the toyota booth for astro... there i got a sanha fan from a fansite, but their name isn’t on the fan so i can’t find them :(... kard was said to make an appearance at the state farm booth right next to the toyota one, so it got crowded and my friend and i left. we just sat in the entrance hall near an outlet until astro came out, and we stood near the elevator so we could see them walk out... sanha is unbelievably tall. like.... what’s he so tall for. why. also while waiting i got a taeyong banner from leetaeyongbar! we then decided to go back inside to hopefully see wanna one at star square, so we went to the area where we stood for oh my girl. luckily not a lot of people cared to stand in the back so we got right up by the barrier. i also talked to a wannable and she was rlly sweet!! i mentioned getting anxious abt crowds of people against me and she also made sure i was okay, which is nice.. also a fansite stood behind me and i told her that if i was in the way, she could just let me know.. i dont know which fansite she is but she was nice n was thankful!!! wanna one came out and i only got a good look at guanlin (who is tall, but not sanha tall) before staff stood in front of me.. after they walked by a bunch of people left so i got closer and waited for them to come out... i’m glad i stayed bc i actually saw them walk out... and jisung!!!!!!!! waved!!!!!! in our direction!!!!!!!!!!!! my heart almost burst out of my chest bc he’s so handsome irl and he’s so cute and he looked really happy... after that we left to line up for the concert

sunday concert: sunday’s crowd was a lot bigger than saturday’s, and i’m pretty sure everyone there was a got7 stan... while in line i saw papa tuan (mainly bc he was dressed as their lightstick, which was cute)!!! inside the venue, the girl sitting next to me as also an aroha so we talked abt astro while we waited for the concert to start!! the preshow was a band called iamnot (correct me if i’m wrong, i couldn’t read their logo ghjfdk) and they were really good.. i liked their act a lot!!! the night’s hosts were mark and jackson, and they did a good job hyping up the crowd (tho everyone in there was a got7 stan so.. who wouldn’t be hyped lol). when they were calling up all the artists, heize brought the olaf backpack on with her and my heart!!!!! exploded w love for my mother!!!!!! once again i don’t remember the exact order, but i do know that the first act was kard, who performed don’t recall, hola hola, and oh nana. we also sang happy birthday to somin who teared up :’)). also j.seph is super cute n shy........ heize performed don’t know you. after a small ment, a sign asked us to turn on our phone flashlights... the music for star started and heize started to cry bc of all of the lights hjgfdklhg :( she only performed two songs... oh my girl performed coloring book and closer, and yooa is sosososo pretty!!! arin is super cute too!!! also binnie doesn’t have bangs anymore and my heart almost stopped!!! my robong DIED during coloring book bc me, being the fool i am, reused batteries from my carat bong... the aroha next to me gave me her spare batteries which was so nice of her... but then her robong died during closer so i gave back the batteries bc i knew astro as her ult, n she needed those batteries more than me LOL.. when wanna one performed, the girl saw me with my banner and she asked to record for me and i’m so grateful!!! they performed energetic and burn it up, and i think me and my friend got on the screen for like 2 seconds HJKDLSHJGKL... astro did a collab with kim taewoo and they did so well!! the dance was super energetic but their voices still sounded so good!!! kim taewoo then performed and his voice was really nice.. i can’t recall the song names but i believe his last song was love rain? astro performed should’ve held on, breathless (with a transition into polaris), and baby!! sanha was soo cute during the ment :(( they also had a pinata time and made tshirts to throw to those in the pit. they also had tshirt guns and shot those to the reserved seats... also i recorded the performance for the aroha next to me in exchange for the w1 videos... nct’s stage was.. so hype.... they performed firetruck, limitless, and cherry bomb!! some of the mics weren’t working during the ment so mark leaned over to let taeil use his in-ear mic and everyone in the venue went wild... also sicheng’s self intro was “my name is winwin!!! today.. we winwin!!!!!!!!” HJFKSLHJSF HE’S SO CUTE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I’LL FOREVER BE SICHENGSGIRL NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I CHANGE MY URL.... once again, the aroha next to me recorded nct for me and i later recorded got7 for her.. jj project performed, and they did never ever, hard carry, and?? correct me if i’m wrong but confession song?? idk.. they had a pinata time as well and a lucky fan got proposed to by three members, who i think were bambam, jaebum, and jackson. somewhere in between, wanna one came out again in navy colored school uniforms and perfomed never and nayana.. and i teared up during the latter... after the concert was over, me n the aroha airdropped each other the videos... i never got her name but she was super sweet and im glad i got to sit next to someone who didn’t consider my screaming obnoxious (she apologized for screaming during astro and got7 but.. we get each other LOL)

overall i’m so happy that i saw 6/6 of the groups i stan at my very first kcon!!! it’s rlly a memory i want to keep forever.. but i probably won’t go again in a long time (unless ofc.... wanna one or seventeen decide to come again :’))) )

#nana.txt #kcon.log #THERE ITS DONE ITS ALL COMPILED INTO ONE INCOHERENT POST #the post concert withdrawals are hitting me hard and my voice has been obliterated but it was an amazing weekend!!!!

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cas-tellation · 7 years

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Not What You Thought (I’m Sorry, I Didn’t Know) part 8

Last chapter - Masterlist - Read on ao3

A/N; Firstly; I just wanted to say that I have this fic pretty much mapped out, BUT there's a big empty space between now and the ending -- just because i need some filler stuff that i can use to add some ~development~ that being said, if you want anything specific to happen in this fic, please, please leave a comment telling me as this is the perfect time for me to maybe fit some of that stuff in. Nothing too big, just lil things. (do you want phil to get a pet? do you want more flashbacks from dan? flashbacks from phil? more about their family & all of that?? literally anything little like that that i can write a little bit about)Secondly; here a playlist of all the music i listen to whilst writing (i mean theres other music i constantly forget to add songs whoops) so if you wanna really ~get in the zone~ whilst readin you can go listen to that if you want i guess here it is And finally; lots of people who read this fic are ftm trans and thats great!! all the feedback that i've gotten back from them is so nice, and im very, very happy that this fic is at least somewhat realistic. I, myself, am not trans, however i am agender (demiboy? idk lol im figuring things out still) so i do have ~some~ experience with dysphoria and all that stuff, but at the same time its also amazing to hear what people say(a huge thanks to everyone's who's left comments on this fic so far... they really are greatly appreciated.)

Dan’s tired. He doesn’t want to get out of bed. Doesn’t want to do much of anything, really. The dysphoria is there; strong as ever. Maybe that’s the thing that he hates the most about himself: The dysphoria. Some people say that they understand that; understand the self hatred that comes with being stuck in the wrong body. But really, how could they, if they were cis?

When his mum claims that everything will be okay and that she understands, and that what he’s going through is something that every teen goes through-- isn’t she lying, because he’s not every teen. He’s Dan, not Yazi. He’s trans, not cis. He doesn’t know anybody who is trans - save for a couple of youtubers that he watches, more for the education aspect of being trans than anything else.

He feels alone. He can’t go to someone. Say, Phil. He couldn’t go to Phil and have the other boy comfort him, and tell him that everything’s going to be okay. Because how would Phil know, if he’s cis? How could Phil possibly know? How could anybody? Sure, they could have little glimpses, but nothing tangible. They wouldn’t feel dysphoria.

They wouldn’t feel this tired.

There’s a certain level of self hatred, but a lot of it was just the dysphoria. It makes him want to physically claw off his own skin.

School is stressful. He feels like he’s falling apart under the pressure of it. He’s doing too much and yet he still feels like he’s not doing enough. He stops doing his homework completely because whenever he hands it in and gets anything less than a perfect score; he feels like he’s failed somehow.

Of course, he hasn’t failed just because he has gotten a lower score, but still.

His mind is constantly messing with him and he’s so tired.

Phil’s embrace is more than welcoming after a long day. Dan melts into his arms, taking a long, shuddering breath and burying his face into Phil’s chest.

Take another deep breath. Now, close your eyes. Feel, where are you?

In, and out, darkness. Phil’s arms, Phil’s body, Phil’s heart, beating slowly and steadily beneath Dan’s cheek, further calming him. Phil’s saying something, maybe asking if Dan’s okay. Or alternatively, what’s wrong.

God, it feels like everything is wrong.

Everything, and it’s all piling up.

It’s too much. It’s all just - too much. He doesn’t know if he can deal with it anymore. He misses the sharp kiss of the blade against his pale skin.

But he’s here in Phil’s arms, safe from physical harm.

Only for the time being. Phil would leave and then - and then.

God.

Since when does the world spin like this? Since when does the world hurt like this?

Phil’s arms are drawing tighter around Dan’s thin body, one hand coming up to comb gently through Dan’s ever-so-slightly curly hair.

“It’ll be okay, Danny,” Phil’s saying.

But the thing is, it doesn’t feel like it’s going to be okay. Because everything hurts but at the same time everything’s so empty and heavy and full and painful. In Dan’s eyes, it’s not going to be okay. Not by a long shot. He feels so broken, and used up, and thoroughly useless.

He’s none of those things.

But his mind refuses to think of himself as anything but that.

Phil’s arms are around him, holding him together. When all Dan is doing is breaking apart.

Phil’s gone. He hadn’t wanted to leave. He’d been worried about Dan. They’re all worried, all the time. Phil, the teachers at school, Dan’s parents.

But Phil had to leave.

And Dan is now alone. Feeling the worst that he has in a long time. And he doesn’t know what to do.

Everything’s hazy. It’s like he’s looking at his life through a keyhole. Not really there. It’s almost as if he can’t feel anything. Is he dreaming? He can’t remember going to sleep but he still doesn’t feel like he’s properly awake. Through a keyhole. Hazy. Dream-like. Sitting on the edge of a bathtub, rolling up his sleeves.

Numb.

A razor, in his hand.

And god is he really going to do this?

Sleep is laced through with unease.

The feeling’s not gone the next day. He had hoped that after a good night’s sleep that the hurt would go away.

He doesn’t know how he’s going to make it through the day.

The binder fits too tight. His hair is growing out a little and it only adds to the dysphoria. Everything feels too feminine. Too much. Way too much. Make it stop, please.

He walks to school, the overcast sky reflecting his emotional state perfectly.

He pauses, in front of the school door, weighing his options.

Then, he turns around and walks in the opposite direction. Fuck school.

He doesn’t go home. God, he doesn’t want to go ‘home’ ever again. He goes to the park instead, where he and Phil had been. Except that now Phil’s not there. Instead, there are countless children and their parents. He almost regrets coming but sits down on the edge of a bench anyway, pulling a book out of his bag and trying to lose himself in the story. At least for a little while.

It’s weird, how invisible he is.

Nobody seems to notice him.

Nobody bothers him.

He almost wishes that he could do this everyday. Until he remembers how much school he’s missing and feels his throat choke up. Too much, this is all too much, and yet not enough.

Phil texts him just after noon, when Dan would usually meet him.

Dan doesn’t reply.

Everything is falling apart at a steady pace and there’s nothing that Dan can do to stop it.

That night, Dan lays in bed, his hands resting on his stomach, tears racing down his cheeks. He thinks, ‘I need Phil’, and then, ‘I need Nicole’, and after that he hates himself a little bit more.

The amount of notifications that Dan wakes up to is absolutely horrifying, in his opinion. Dozens from Phil. Even one from Nicole. He breath catches in his throat as he sees it;

Nic: where have you been ive missed u

He doesn’t know if he can reply to it. He does anyway.

Dan: i miss you too.

And he does. Fuck, he does.

He locks his phone again before he replies to Phil. A sick feeling settles in his belly.

At lunch the next day, Dan’s almost disappointed to see that Phil isn’t yet sitting on the dusty patch of ground behind the building. He pulls out the same book that he had started yesterday, and begins reading. He’s hoping that Phil will show up.

But scared, too, because he’s so unresponsive. He’s scared that Phil will think that Dan doesn’t like him and he’s scared that Phil won’t see how lost Dan is.

But fear isn’t helping him so he pushes it down and tries so hard to focus on the words in front of him. He doesn’t know if it’s working.

Phil does show up. He’s not mad that Dan hadn’t been there the day before, instead, he was worried about how Dan was feeling.

Phil says, “Hey Danny.”

And Dan says, “I told you to stop calling me that.”

And then Phil hugs him again and all Dan can think is: Don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. Because what did he do to deserve someone like this? Since when did he get to be with the Good Guy? Since when did someone who actually cared about things pay any sort of attention to him?

Usually it was someone looking for a good fuck.

Or Nicole, who simply didn’t have her life together enough to care.

Dan lets Phil hold him and is scared that Phil will leave once he realizes how well and truly fucked up Dan feels.

Feeling good is something that takes a long time. Dan feels a spark of it that night when Phil texts him saying:

Phil: Goodnight dannyyyyyyy <3333

The spark being Dan’s stomach flopping around happily. Happily. Happiness. It’s something that he has a hard time feeling.

But with Phil, it seems to come easier.

Dan wakes up feeling a bit more awake than usual. He tells himself that this means he’s getting over the depression, though he can still feel it lurking there, right under his skin, waiting for the worst time to make it’s re-appearance.

It’s horrible, living like this, but at the point that Dan is now at, it’s impossible to avoid.

#phanfic #phanfiction #myfics #ftmtrans #ftm #trans!dan #phan fluff #phan angst #phan smut #phan

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gyeommine · 7 years

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GOT7 As Roommates

So I was reminded of the one I did for BTS (which you could find here) and I thought this would be a cute thing to do <3

(gif credits to the original owners)

JB:

(hot ass)

he strikes me as a dad type

like he’ll be kinda protective of you, making sure you don’t stay out too late and come home at the right time.

he’ll say that it’s to keep a watch on you but he lowkey misses you.

typical dad always ends up falling asleep on the sofa.

so you always have to shake him to get him to actually go to bed.

you’ll feel really awkward when you accidentally call him dad bc he basically is

“is this a new fetish or something?” “shut up im jaebum”

also just another gross male that you have to deal with.

“leader of got7 or president of the US i don’t care, just wash the dishes”

people often mistake him for your boyfriend bc you guys are weirdly comfortable around him.

he’ll probably just walk around half naked with no shame

you’ll just throw his dirty laundry to get him to put clothes on.

does get a lil’ awkward if you’re ever upset.

will shyly admit he ordered take out to cheer you up and you chill for the rest of the evening.

he’ll get quite angry if someone has upset you or work is giving you a hard time but won’t show it.

since he’s a dad for thot7 as well, just expect the guys to often be over.

reliable dad friend roommate beom ™

you always make him cringe or make fun (in a friendly way okay)

you’ll be over sitting in a weird position on the sofa you’ll just be like “the a teaser, amirite” and poor boy would die of cringe.

with that weird dinosaur laugh he has

Mark:

(oh wow i am blind from staring at the sun)

he’s so quiet you’ll honestly forget he’s home.

he’ll just be coming out the bathroom and you’ll jump out of your skin bc when the heck did this boy get back from tour ??

it’d be a strangely quiet house.

he’s more often than not tucked away in his room on his phone.

ngl, he’d probably text you instead of shout out.

but when you guys do stuff together, there’s so much giggling than can be heard from 2 flats above and below.

you guys are organized and on it.

you got that chores and housework rota down and you both know who cooks on what days for the two of you.

you’ll be best buddies with jackson

sleepovers with the three of you !!!

he’s quiet, but boy’s trustworthy and reliable (aka the perfect roommate)

no milk ?? mark’s probably already spotted and bought 3 more cartons.

you’ll be film and music buddies.

you’ll just both be in the kitchen and you’ll hear.:

“hey (y/n) listen to this!”

and you’ll be jamming around for a few hours

you guys will also have a list of movies you wanna watch together.

and when he comes back from tour: a movie night ensues.

overall you guys would have such a chill vibe.

if you had had a hard day at work, even just entering into your apartment would relax you completely.

if you were ever stress, he’d probably suggest going on a drive.

so at like 3 am, you’d get your guys’ chill playlist up and just drive for a while.

Jackson:

(the purest)

such a caring roommate and best friend.

he’s always checking on you and asking whether you need anything.

he’s always the first guy there to give you a friendly ear or a shoulder.

he sometimes just goes on for 30 minutes with random life advice.

it’d be super endearing.

the flat would be super loud.

it’s bc he’s so excitable about everything which makes him the cutest friend to have around.

everyone knows you guys have the liveliest flat.

and you’d always wonder how this idol that works all the time has SO much energy ??!

but such charisma wow - can charm his way out of anything.

if he breaks something, he knows exactly what to do.

fills the fridge with random organic shit.

you literally pull 3 new organic smoothies out of the fridge each day.

“where the hell are you buying all this?”

he won’t even need to label it bc you know it will always be his.

he’s also kinda protective of you.

he’ll send you like a million texts bc he’s super worried that you’re not home yet and you need to be safe

it’d be a stern side that you’d rarely see from jackson, but he cares about you a lot.

he sort of feels like it’s his duty to take care of you, bc you live under the same roof an’ all that.

“jackson you’re more strict than my real dad sometimes.”

but he’d prefer it if you saw him more as your big brother or something greasy like that.

Jinyoung:

(should i be offended by this ??)

he acts like a stressed middle aged mum with 5 small kids 24/7

but it’s just you along with the 5 kids he has with jb

the flat will always be perfection, spotless, 10/10, flawless.

he’ll live passive aggressive / sassy sticky notes to remind you to close the cupboard door or something like that.

sometimes you’ll wonder why he’d ever wanna share a flat with anyone bc he could easily thrive alone.

but he lowkey loves the company you give him.

y’all could be sitting in a room together for hours and not speak and he’d love it.

idk i could also see you guys going on walks together.

but if you ever ask him anything he’s just give you a sassy response - as if it’s a chore to live with you.

dw doods, he’s lying. that’s the middle aged mum sass.

he’ll tssk, roll his eyes a lot.

but he’s a v good listener, and would happily let you rant about your days’ work @ him and he’ll have no complaints.

you guys will have deep convos all the time.

you’ll wake up bc the kitchen light’s on at 3 am and there’s jinyoung, sitting with a glass of water.

“what are you doing jinyoung?” “i can’t sleep.” “lol neither. so what’s the meaning of life?”

and you’ll be talking until like 6 am, by which point the glass of water has magically turned into a strong mug of coffee.

Youngjae:

(NATIONAL TREASURE. 10/10 AT EVERYTHING. CUTEST // PUREST)

this is another loud apartment when it comes to the thot7 bois.

he honestly just needs protecting, someone to keep an eye on him.

he laughs a lot and it literally lightens the flat, it’s such a good vibe.

but sometimes you don’t see him for days.

he’s either writing some sweet ass music or playing video games.

but he always appreciates you checking on him, even if he gets too shy and bumbly to admit it.

he always knows how to make you feel better even if that means just smiling and curing the world of its sins

probably wants to include you with got7 outings

he doesn’t want to make you feel left out or leave you at the flat by yourself.

and if you lightly scold him for something once, he’ll be careful to always do it and he’d be such a sweetheart.

you probably do the most work within the flat but he tries every once in a while.

he’ll get super nervous if he breaks or loses something and you’ll receive an odd text from him.

so you call him to make sure he’s okay, and he’s like “oh no, i just lost your headphones” and the relief you’ll feel.

you’re always there to reassure him if he ever feels insecure about his career or anything in life.

and it’s chill bc you know he’d do the exact same for you, it’s all around a pleasant and healthy environment.

you’ll also sneak in coco even if the apartment block doesn’t allow it.

Bambam:

(he looks so soft here. i highkey loved this hair on him)

do i even need to say that this flat is gon’ be loud as fricking heck

he’d just make random loud noises most of the time and you’d have to give him a “??? wtf” look.

don’t even get me started when yugyeom comes over.

ear muffs come free with the roommate.

i joke, but its’ actually always a hella good mood boost.

our resident meme cannot stand the thought of you ever being down in the dumps so is running around the flat doing dumb shit.

you can’t go anywhere with him bc he spends 3 hours getting ready.

“bam pls we’re only going to the grocery store just wear-” “NO”

then you contemplating going to the grocery store by yourself because bam “flawless model” bam needs to like 10/10.

but you always tell him you’ve seen him without makeup or high brow clothing and he still looks great.

pranks, pranks and more pranks.

did i mention inside jokes? plenty of those.

you guys will be like kids with your own secret handshake and a password you yell before entering the apartment.

“bam why’s the door locked?” “password.” / “but bam i-” “passWORd”

and you’d sigh, and yell “I like to dab with moose” and you’re in.

let’s just imagine the mortified look mum and dad (jjp) have when they come over for the first time and you yelling that.

Yugyeom:

(omg it’s me @ kim yugyeom aka the loml)

just accept the fact you’re going to be hearing music all the time.

you guys will have like a playlist of your fave songs and you end up just stupidly dancing and singing around the house.

sometimes he’ll clear the space in the living room and just dance.

he’ll get hella blushy and shy when you walk on him though.

that’s basically how the hit the stage dance got spoiled for you.

he’s so loud as well.

he’ll probably just yell “PABO” really loud from the other side ot the apartment to get your attention.

and you run over asking yourself why you moved in with such a child.

he’ll smile wickedly as you ask him “what’s wrong”

“nothing!!” he’ll say cutely. “KIM YUGYEOM I SWEAR TO-”

oho you guys will do a lot of childish shit, prank each other.

one of those roommate situations that everyone questions why you ever moved in together bc you’re both a bad influence on the other.

but you guys are obvs like the best of friends for sure.

it’s not fun for mum and dad (jjp) when you call them dumb names and get your ass beat.

you guys are partners in crime and it’s the cutest sHUT UP NOBODY TOUCH OR TALK TO ME.

you better believe you’ll be sitting right next to each other and still be screenshotting memes, giggling your asses off.

but you’ll be so proud and gushing over his performing and how far he’s come and awwww.

but you guys will be having the 10th pillow fight before you could admit to such mushy feelings.

HONESTLY GUYS ! i got so warm and fuzzy bc i wanna be best friends with bambam and yugyeom like you have no idea. also, i am also jinyoung. i write passive aggressive sassy notes to my brother all the time bc he does dumb shit. hope you guys enjoyed ! <3

SIDE NOTE: one of my closest friends and are I are sort of like bambam / yugyeom cross friendship. but i am so done with his shit, and he’s so done with mine - it’s chill.

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