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cho-aaacho · 2 months

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I looked at you, I thought it was love

Masterlist

Summary : "I talk as if I know all about love, and I act as if I'm going to cry, saying I was truthful back then and saying it hurts me too. I'm sorry."

Warning : Angst

"Satoru-kun..."

A weary sigh escapes, audible when that name is uttered. Satoru doesn't turn around; instead, he remains silent, sweating, as if weighed down by something.

After three years of his absence, you found yourself summoning the courage to meet with your ex-boyfriend.

Though you hadn't planned on it, a single thought lingered in your mind: you should meet him. You wanted to explain everything and clarify your relationship with him.

"Satoru-kun?"

Your voice echoes, calling once again with a slightly emphasized tenderness, puzzled by Satoru's lack of response. He had never been like this before; he always cared about you and loved everything about you, making it clear that you were his.

You could always feel the tenderness of his love, the smoothness of his lips on yours, the gentle kiss on your neck, and the way he hugged your presence within his warm body.

Also, there are the tranquil eyes that imprint the soul, the serene quartz that clouds your thoughts, and the soft strands that evoke memories, most of which you wish not to forget.

But when did he change into this? Maybe when that woman came into his life—his old friend, he claimed—the one who had been involved with him since high school.

You couldn't wrap your mind around how someone like him could betray you. Even though you heard it from others and denied it at first after seeing him embrace that woman gently, kiss her in public, and boldly announce her as his new girlfriend, everything around you seems to fall.

You both were still young at the time, you knew that very well. Such things often happen in young love.

Satoru inquires, "How did you find me?"

"Haibara-san mentioned your art gallery; it looks like I'm the only person you haven't informed about this," you respond.

As you tried to compose yourself, you noticed a faint smile on his face. It was the same smile you'd always seen, yet there was something different about Satoru's eyes...

...they seemed

empty.

He chuckled, shaking his head. "I didn't expect you to come here."

He seems to be trying to not care and hide the truth that he yearns for you, eagerly awaiting your return, longing for your sweet scent and the lovely endearments as in the old days.

"It's been three years; how's your day, Satoru-kun? Are you still with her?"

"My day?" He chuckled. "Not as good as when you're around."

The void is engulfed in silence, hanging thick in the air as Satoru wrestles with his tears, battling to keep his emotions in check. A painful flashback hits him like a tidal wave when he sees you.

Looking back on it only fuels his frustration, leaving behind a pain that leaves no visible scars on his fragile heart.

Why does everything feel so bad? So agonizing? Even the surroundings seem out of place and surreal.

Satoru asks softly. "Are you seeking revenge? By leaving me and going with him? That's what you want to tell me?"

You laugh amidst tears. "Look at yourself before speaking."

"Are you here because you're marrying someone else?" he asked. "I couldn't care less about that man, but why are you here to inflict such pain? Am I the one at fault? Tell me."

You bite your lower lip. "Well, you're the one who dumped me back then, aren't you? You chose her over me. Did you think I didn't know? For a long time, I held onto faith in you, but you shattered my trust. So why are you causing me more pain when I couldn't do the same to you?"

There's a pause, and you continue. "I'm sorry if my actions have caused you suffering; yes, I know, I can't forgive what you did. But I need to heal my heart now, and unfortunately, you're not the one to do that. I'm sorry if that sounds naive or perhaps cruel."

"I hope I still love you the way I loved you in the past, but unfortunately everything has changed. I don't want to lie to myself." You added and peeked at the wedding invitation on the table where your name and Geto Suguru's are on it.

Is it all right? All of this? Did you really want this?

He stood up and reached out to you, wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his embrace, and hugging you from behind, keeping you by his side for a while. You could feel him crying, trying not to let himself be swept away by the sensation, and convincing himself that all of this was just a dream.

He bit his lower lip, checking if it was a dream or reality, only to realize that he was hurting himself by doing so.

He leaned down, placed his chin on your shoulder, and whispered, "I'm not afraid of you leaving; I'm afraid you'll forget me. I don't want to die with us hating each other. Please, come back to me, I'm sorry."

He continues. "Could we still meet, even though the world we tread upon doesn't allow us to meet each other? Will you always be the love of my life?"

But why now?

Why, after you've found another man who's willing to heal your heart? Why did this happen to you?

Was Satoru just acting? Or were all the things you saw in the past just illusions? How could Satoru act in such a way and make you feel at fault?

Was he trying to manipulate you?

You never know.

#gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #jjk gojo x reader #gojo angst #jujutsu kaisen gojo satoru #gojo jjk x you #jujutsu kaisen x reader #satoru gojo x reader #jjk angst #angst #jujutsu kaisen

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2braincellslz · 1 year

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Male reader gives Eddie a tattoo on his V-line

Permanent.

Ship: Eddie munson x male!reader

Desc: Eddie calls (y/n) in to their room. Eddie asks (y/n) to give him a tattoo. The rest is history.

Notes: it's short and shitty. I'm sorry. I was just trying to get a request out.

"Baaaabe" eddie called from his room.

(Y/n) was already sprawled out over the couch, lazily shoving handfuls of popcorn in to his mouth as he rewatched Halloween for the... hundredth time.

"Whaaaat?" (Y/n) called back, shoving more popcorn in to his mouth. The taste of cold popcorn was staring to get old.

"Wash your hands and come here!"

(Y/n) rolled his eyes. He placed the bowl on the coffee table before making his way to the sink, cleaning off the cheese powder. "What are you getting at, Munson?"

But there was no response.

(Y/n) groaned loudly as he dumped the leftover popcorn in the that trash, presenting his displeasure from being taken away from his movie without a valid reason yet he still made his way to the bedroom.

Eddie had a little container of black void resting on his bedside table. Eddie himself was stilling on the bed with a needle in his hand, the tip of the needle was sainted black.

Eddie looked up from what he was doing, or trying to do, and gave (y/n) a silly little grin. "Care to help me?" He asked, extending the needle out to his boyfriend.

"You want me to give you a tattoo?" Eddie's plants had already been unzipped, a few dots scattered around Eddie v-line. "Is this even safe?" (Y/n) stepped closer, taking the pin.

"No, not really." (Y/n) couldn't help but roll his eyes, letting out another groan.

"You made me miss Halloween for this." (Y/n) kneeled infront of Eddie. This wasn't his first time dealing with Eddie just getting a tattoo out of nowhere but it was the first time that he had ever been asked to give Eddie or anyone a tattoo.

"Halloween? Oh, the horror. Not like you have seen it three thousand times."

"What do you want me to do, Eddie? Tell me now or I'm picking."

Eddie let out a long hum, rubbing his chin like he was thinking. "I dont know, you pick."

(Y/n) couldn't help but let a smile creep on to his face as different ideas popped into his head, some worse then others. "Nothing bad!" Eddie snapped, immediately regretting letting his boyfriend pick.

"Aw, what?" (Y/n) giggled, deciding on a safe idea. "Your no fun."

(Y/n) started on the tattoo, a bit shaky at first but after a while he got the hang of it. Eddie huffed, hissing at the pain. He grabbed on to (y/n)s shoulder.

"This seems a bit... odd." (Y/n) looked up at eddie.

"Oh shut up." Eddie hissed, nails digging in to (y/n)s shoulder.

(Y/n) continued to work, ignoring the digging pain. He was Lazar focused as he worked. Honestly, It would have been better is Eddie had just taken him to a tattoo parlor but he enjoyed being close to his boyfriend. Being able to do something for him.

"This is going to be shit..." (y/n) mumbled, mostly too himself, as he worked.

"I can get it fixed at a parlor later." Eddie hummed. His voice was strained slightly. For someone who has a collection of tattoos, the man has a low pain tolerance but his skin could also be sensitive from the demobats.

About a hour passed and (y/n) was almost done. It wasnt a big piece but doing anything with one needle was a feat in itself.

"Annnd.... done!" (Y/n) took a paper towel he had gotten half way through and whipped off a bit of the excess ink.

(Y/n) stepped back, looking over his work. Eddie looked down. His face suddenly lit up as he looked over the piece.

It was simple, you could only do so much with a single needle. But it has meaning. It was a 20 sided die with a nat 20 facing out.

"Its perfect!" Eddie cheered, even if the line work was a bit shakey.

"Well, I wouldn't say perfect." (Y/n) chuckled. Eddie pulled (Y/n) in to a tight hug, being careful of the raw skin.

"Dont get it infected." (Y/n) patted Eddie's shoulder, stepping back to look over his art one more time.

#gays on the fyp #tatttoos #tattos #tatoos #eddie stranger things #eddie x reader #eddie munson x male reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson st #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson #eddie munson x male y/n #pride #st #stranger things fic #stranger things

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 now: https://youtu.be/bWiW4Rp8vF0?feature=shared

The American Climate Leadership Awards 2024 broadcast recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by active climate leaders. Watch to find out which finalist received the $50,000 grand prize! Hosted by Vanessa Hauc and featuring Bill McKibben and Katharine Hayhoe!

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finsterhund · 1 year

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For whatever reason I've been hyperfocusing on Skinamarink (2022) even though I think it is an immensely flawed movie. (I guess it's like a Seventh Brother scenario. Where I don't think it's peak cinema but I still find something very specific that I can relate to and thus become obsessed and incorporate it into my existence) Maybe it will continue to grow on me. Who knows.

I summarized it in the friend group as “Childhood neglect simulator” and I do stand by that. Analogue horror childhood neglect liminal space simulator is perhaps more apt.

But this film really embodies just what it’s like to be a terrified toddler left to fend for himself in the dark all alone.

Spoilers under this

Unfortunately I have to be honest and confess that the movie lacks substance and the style it oozes doesn't make up for that. It's slow, drags, and is boring at times. So much of the movie is "stare into a dark void and nothing happens." There's build up, and then there's “ASMR spooky liminal house tour” and this sadly felt like more of the latter. So much of what makes the movie standing out to me is because I am nyctophobic and never actually grew out of the primal toddler-aged fear the film invokes. Especially as there are periods of worse mental health where I regress all the way down to that age. The joke my friends made about it putting me to sleep if I ate an edible and watched it is not accurate. Because it simulates nyctophobia remarkable well. So I couldn't be bored out of focusing lol.

I was immediately offput by how much excessive cheesy after effects film grain filter was dumped onto the footage in post. I joke a lot about how it wants to be 70s vibe film but then it is a 16x9 resolution which took me out of the vibe pretty hard. And due to much of the movie "holding on this shot of practically nothing" I was especially distracted by modern aspects of the house such as the extremely modern 2010s wall outlet cover and the dollar tree night light (which REALLY distracted me the first viewing. I could not stop thinking about that motherfucker was not from 1995.)

The movie also did not have a folley artist and presumably the creator Kyle Ball did all the mixing himself and used free sound effects from a public domain stock archive himself. Which unfortunately really shows. Folley is an art and strange sound effect choices took me out of it on several occasions. It also feels like the background noise wasn't layered over top of specific sounds properly at certain points.

Another issue was inconsistent subtitling. There are times when there are then and times that you think really should be like those and have them but they don't.

I understand this film unlike his YouTube videos were crowdfunded and he had other people on the team so it's somewhat disappointing there isn't a noticable increase of production value(?) Just mostly an increase in length. Other than additional actors there really isn’t much that sets it above his short film “Heck” which due to its shorter length I felt was more engaging. (Although the cancer thing was very :/ you are on thin ice mr ball)

What substance is there though is very good. You can tell the creator started out with short form liminal space nostalgia "analogue horror" YouTube shorts and ASMR aesthetic soundscapes. This would work so much better if it was like his shorter videos and trimmed the fat. Otherwise it needs to have a cast that the audience can actually see and observe the interactions of more. There's gotta be a balance, again, style and substance.

The fact that it’s like watching a childhood nightmare is incredible, and if that’s what Kyle set out to achieve then he for sure succeeded. But a story this is unfortunately not.

I feel if there was media like this that had more emphasis on how the characters experienced their predicament it would do wonders. It could easily be peak experimental HoDcore.

The entity itself was so criminally underutilized. I think there's maybe a minute of combined dialogue when you add up its dialogue with that of the human cast.

Which is a shame because I feel once again, if we had more of character interaction it would be more engaging.

The entity toys with the little boy Kevin and I didn't realize until I watched it a second time and read someone else talk about the movie that one of the later scenes shows it killing him and immediately bringing him back to do it again presumably for its own amusement. (Extremely relatable character right here. I am Kevin 🤣)

This was shown by blood splattering and then being reversed like a tape being rewound. The importance of the tape metaphor became more apparent on the second watch. The first watch I felt the film relied too heavily on showing the public domain cartoons. It wasn't until much later the entity is shown YouTube pooping them and it actually becomes relevant and the comparison is more obvious.

There were instances where I feel things were a bit too vague in a "what does it mean" way. I'm torn because I don't think every little thing should be explicitly explained, but I think there should be some context, you know? (Why the entity moved things, what it did to the mom, etc.)

A big reason why I can overlook how empty and slow it is is because this experience is so quintessential as a toddler in Canada during the end of the analogue age. I feel that the toys and the public domain cartoons featured were things that never were distinctly important childhood items of significance but they were things I recognized for sure. So it was this uncanniness of it being the stuff you had and remembered but never formed lasting long love/influence from. It isn’t your favourite film on VHS, it’s that compilation you’d watch sometimes ,etc.

The phone call the dad makes is so viscerally similar to the way my mom would talk to family members in phone calls about me. The uncanny warped by darkness face of the parent/entity at the end is SO MUCH like how that shit felt to me. And that got me thinking about additional aspects of that experience that if part of the movie would have amplified it further.

The biggest thing I think would really expand the concept is shadow play. Would require more special effects or very intentional practical effects but having the shadows tangibly move/behave abnormally would have been spectacular. That is one of the most defining horrors of my childhood. How shadows seemed to shift and move. A serious source of terror growing up was how the baseboard heater made the curtains above it move, and the shadows projected by the nightlight of those curtains would twist and roll and coil. During sleep paralysis I fucking grew to hate those curtains so much.

I personally care very little for edgy "child was in a coma the whole time" theories or "child's paranormal experiences were just a metaphor" theories so I'm not even going to bother getting into those. You know we're team "Not A Dream" on the Finsterhund channel. As far as I'm concerned the entity was literal.

There were a few jumpscares but they were just that really. The first one, where the older kid is looking at something freaky on the ceiling and the younger accidentally sneaks up behind felt natural, but the reveal that the entity took their face was unintentionally humorous. I literally said "Slenderman sister jumpscare" out loud and had to pause it because I was laughing so hard I got the mood ruined.

The fisher price jumpscare though I really liked. The actual face changing wasn't too spoopy but oh my god when the camera shows what it looks like with the flashlight off, with the very faint glint of the outer circles of the whites of its eyes. That freaked me out so bad. That is the embodiment of nyctophobia making you see demons out of regular items. I don't even know if that was an edit or if those phones just normally look like that under very low light but man.

Every time someone gives me shit about leaving the lights on I will pin them down and force them to look at this until they understand.

I have a personal anecdote in that when I was a toddler I was dumped off at somebody’s house. Not someone I know of and not a family member. And they had a fucking mask on the wall and they made me sleep in that room in the dark with that stupid fucking mask. And I fucking hated that goddamn mask. Fuck it. Fuck those people andtheir creepy fucking mask.

Some of the more tangible things the entity does that made the story more engaging were sadly also detrimental towards the mood. The toilet disappearing with a silly noise being one such instance. Removing the doors and windows and removing/incapacitating the parents I can understand. But why did the entity remove the toilet? There's even a scene where the children slide buckets into the bathroom to show the aftermath of this porcelain pilfering. Was it just for the entity to dehumanize and further torment them? I feel there were better ways to demonstrate that without silly disappearing toilet.

Because of my prominent nyctophobia I have no clue how much I can credit the movie for in it's "camera pointed at a dark void" shots and how much was just my brain filling in holes. For certain scenes I did take screenshots and blast up the contrast to see if there were literal things in the darkness pixels but every time there wasn't except for the face at the end. It was just my brain, not intentional edits in the film. I feel if there were intentional nyctophobia hallucinations they outright edited into the voids that effect would be brought to people who aren't me lol.

Honestly the biggest thing this movie instilled in me was wanting to make my own with more meat and potatoes hahaha. I'm thinking actually using a camcorder instead of editing gimmicky filters in post, including practical effect tangible interactions between the cast and the entity, etc.

I know I'm acting really harsh but I do feel like it had an exuberant amount of potential to cater directly to me but then it just sorta fizzled out if that makes sense. And I do think that so much of it was excellent that it makes what didn’t work hurt more. Unfortunately I don't think setting the mood is the only thing you need to do to create engaging horror you need a reason to care about the ones experiencing it.

Like I said, it had so much style. But style alone doesn't do it for me. Mainly because my brain already does that on its own. So I wish Skinamarink had more to it in regards towards the stuff that I can't just go and do to myself when the power goes out.

In regards to watching it with edible vs without, the edible made my nyctophobic perception of the dark void shots worse. Which is something important I should be aware of in the future for sure as this likely would have real world implications as well.

Again, I want to stress that I am glad to have seen this movie and I feel my disappointment is because I'm aware of just how far beyond this movie could have been. Or something.

Lastly, a nitpick. The song that the movie derives it's name is in the public domain. Most people know it from The Elephant Show, but the song itself was made in 1910. I really feel like it could have been incorporated somehow. And on the subject of music I feel there could have been if not outright musical scoring, some more prominent ambiance(?) What's that called where you basically write ambiance as if it's music. There's a HoD fan album that does this.

IDK call me a normie for wishing we saw more of Kevin as a character but yeah. I do wish that.

Also a running joke I had in both watchings was calling the entity “asthmatic master of darkness” because of its voice. I want to specify this.

Anyways, disassociating Cayden simulator looking pretty good.

#text post #long post #skinamarink

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blairtheprincess · 8 months

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˚୨୧⋆ 𝐖𝐄𝐋𝐂𝐎𝐌𝐄 𝐓𝐎 𝐌𝐘 𝐃𝐈𝐀𝐑𝐘 ⋆୨୧˚

this is my diary to vent and soon, and hopefully, be able to manifest my dream life using the law of assumption.

i just want to keep track of my progress in hopes that I can look back at it one day and say “wow, i actually did it.”

i doubt a lot but i’m still hanging onto my faith. i’ve been on loatumblr for 2 years now. i had an affirming and persisting and huge void obsession phase. I reached phases where i’d pay for spells, pray to go to the void every night, stressed myself out, laid in bed for 5 hours to enter the void, read neville and edward art, i paid for 4 coaches, i witnessed so many people lie on here and honestly… i’m still here. surprisingly. idk how i am but i am.

i don’t overconsume. i just live. i already know everything there is about the law tbh so it might seem sad and atp i should just give up on the law after trying so hard for almost 2 years right? but i have nothing to lose if i’m still continuing with my life in the outer world.

anyway, this is just to keep track of my journey. for any epiphanies or brain dumps i post, this blog is not for teaching. it's just for me.

i hope anyone who finds my blog enjoys ♡ my goals are here.

blogs i love. they make me feel comfortable and safe: @sparklingself @lavender--fairy @divinegrapes @/aphroditeapprenticee @blushydior @sexyandhedonistic @nakedbibi333 @cinefairy

#law of assumption #neville goddard #diary #introductory post #intro #loablr #loassumption #edward art #manifesting #manifestation #the void #void state #subliminals

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dawnskylive · 3 months

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Pinned Post :D

Greetings gays, gamers, both and neither! My name is Dawn, and I am a content creator of many talents! I'm queer, trans, disabled, and am a silly goofy AuDHD little guy! (also as of posting this a minor so act accordingly >:((( i have my eye on y'all)

I use They/He/Void/ Ae/ Star/ Glitch/ Fae/ Moth/ Rot pronouns! (My collection of funky neos will continue to grow, i can count on that)

I am a variety content creator, I stream on Twitch, and post on YouTube on a bunch of other platforms! (here's my carrd: https://dawnskylivesocials.carrd.co )

I am a silly goofy art student, who wants to go into video game art and animation, or like movie concept art :D. I use a number of programs for this (photoshop, procreate, krita, illustrator, and I'm gonna get clip studio soon hopefully) and use my pc and an ipad.

Being autistic, i have silly goofy hyperfixations and special interests. Such as space, MCYT , horror things, Art, DnD, Writing and storytelling. I love all things eldritch horror (TMA my beloved) and things like biblically accurate angels and cosmic horror. That being said, I do have very strong opinions (cough mcyt related mainly), so if you don't agree with them, please just move on. If you do want to interact pls do so respectfully and understand that we just have different opinions :D.

That being said, I do not hesitate to use the block button ^^

Also tone tags and silly lil' faces are my fave :D so if you do that we all good!

On here, you can expect mainly art (i want a digital portfolio pls i want to open commissions so bad), and brain dump things.

Tags I will use here:

#dawnskylive does art - all my digital art stuff!

#dawnskyliverambles - All my thoughts and random brain moments

#dawnskylive lore - I do some cool storytelling through my content, so all that stuff will be here

#dawnskylive craftys - all my non drawing related art, like sewing, bookbinding, and paintings

#dawnskylive cosplays- updates on cosplay craftings and final pictures when I'm done :D

#dawnskylive content - all my stream announcements and youtube videos and the like

#dawnskylive does art #dawnskylive rambles #dawnskylive lore #dawnskylive craftys #dawnskylive cosplays #intro post #pinned intro #dawnskylive content

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andmyvape · 9 months

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Super Secret Potion of Awesome

Set large cauldron to boil, as it heats toss in a generous sprinkling of msg and salt, about a 1:3 ratio. Taste your stirring stick, you will know that your efforts are fruitful if you have to restrain the urge to bite into bamboo-- perhaps maple, or cherry if you're a fancy madman. As soon as the water boils, gently place 13 raviolis in the roiling chaos, do not just dump them in. Raviolis are a vengeful breed, they have not known love before. I have the marks on my neck to prove it. Cook however long the runes inscribed on the fantastic bag of holding things safe against the chill of the freezer recommends, I'm not inclined to argue with ravioli. Again, vengeful.

Now for the alchemy portion. Gather the ingredients: spinach and artichoke dip for the base, olive oil-- for the obligatory nod toward the queer histories, and because you deserve it, you shambling terror-- minced garlic with a measure of accompanying juice that could not possibly be defined as plague-riddled, a draft of white wine vinegar, and a draft of olives in juice. I do not care what olives you use, the whims of fate are not mine to direct, only to whack upside the head with a pool noodle until I'm dunked in the waters of existentialism.

This. This is the most crucial step. Do not forget the dijon mustard. The consequences… Do not bear speaking of. Not sober, at least, and I'm writing this on the clock!

Mix the spinach and artichoke dip with a small measure of dijon mustard, taste it, and add more a bit at a time, mixing between and tasting, enough immoral indulgence for the dip to still taste delicious, but not leave your tongue covered in triglyceride as is often the price the gods demand that mortals suffer for the taste of the universe's love. Fuck the gods, they don't know anyone named Jack or Shit.

Pour olive oil into a small void, or a plastic bowl if you don't have access to the first. Add garlic juice first, then half the amount of minced garlic you think you need to, because the fel spirits that just said to add more lied to you, they know that this is a key process, one that takes discipline and fortitude. Mix the olive oil and garlic thoroughly and taste. Do the triglycerides lurk at your window and backdoor? Waiting for a chance to devastate your lavish hedonism? Fight them back by pouring white wine vinegar into the cap the vessel is sealed with, about half its capacity, and then add half of that into the oil and garlic mixture, drop by drop, you don't want to startle it. Mix vigorously. Clean up the resultant mess before your roommates send for the church to investigate your heresy in pursuit of the delicious.

Taste the concoction. It is bright, too rich, this is clearly too French to be allowed to continue. This is where the olive juice becomes essential. The inverse of a monk adding ashes to a meal to spoil it's grandeur; bitter olive juice will redeem this sad, Parisian, half-finished state of being and make it truly glorious.

Find the tiniest spoon you have, something truly molecular in scale, and add a very little olive juice to to the mixture. Stir vigorously, repeat precautions against theocratic officials. Taste. Continue to add minute amounts of olive juice until you taste it and have to sit down and weep silently into the sink for sheer joy because otherwise you'll be mopping all night.

At some point the raviolis have finished cooking. If you weren't paying attention either to them or your surroundings enough to locate a timer as aid, I honestly don't know how you didn't get killed following the recipe this far. If you read this recipe before you attempted this dark art, I'm proud of you, because now you gain knowledge, and the universe is better for it. If you didn't and you're still alive, I'm still proud of you, but I'm confiscating the demon summoning kit. But if you did think on your feet at the beginning of this enterprise, and kept an eye on the raviolis, I imagine they're draining right now. Leave them there. It is not their time.

However, the cauldron in which the raviolis were metamorphosize'd--without all that slime nonsense, of course. That should be empty. If you retrieved the raviolis with tongs, or perhaps your hands, rather than pour the pasta and water into a colander, I would like to study you closely for an extended period in a controlled environment. In the event that you are less inclined toward cryptid behavior than I am, the cauldron is indeed empty, and you may proceed. Begin by reheating the hearth with the magic device attached to it. Don't ask me how to explain it, technomancy is not my field, that shit is for geeks. Use low heat, explosions tend to result in official scrutiny that gets in the way of alchemic discovery. When the bottom of the cauldron is hot, throw in your concoction of olive oil, garlic, and other unspeakable regents. With great haste and hopefully some dignity, extinguish the hearth, attend the resultant burn wounds, and persist in your quest, it is nearly finished. Let the olive oil and garlic mixture coat the bottom of the cauldron evenly, allow to cook for a few minutes.

Honestly I have not managed to fuck this part up with my cauldron, it disperses heat so quickly that the garlic physically cannot burn before the orichalcum it too cool to cook it further. But I'm sexy like that. It's hard for anyone else to emulate it. If that's the case, be sexy your own way, use dragonbone. Perhaps if you're attempting to evade detection of overblown and pompous so called "government administrations" you can even use mundane metals and still be sexy. I hope you get back to your cave soon, my friend.

Once the vibes of the garlic are right, which is between you and your squeedlyspooch, add the spinach and artichoke mixture that should definitely still include the dijon mustard if you intend to maintain your ownership of your limbs. Reinvigorate your hearth to a low inferno. Up until now you've been too soft on the two mixtures, too lenient, it is time to enforce discipline. Throw them both into the cauldron and inflict fork-based trauma until the result is the new Whump Fiction Protagonist of the Year recipient. Don't worry, it's all part of the process. If your cauldron is big enough, cleaning up the aftermath is much easier than most crime scenes.

Once you've had enough catharting through violence over past trauma, spread the subjugated mixture evenly throughout the bottom of the cauldron. As soon as you hear even the slightest sound of infernal hissing, or unholy bubbling of the oil, turn off the heat, let it sit for like a minute, stir and spread evenly again, and just do that until sniffing the contents of the cauldron makes you regress to a primitive state beyond that of even the eldest homo sapiens.

Add your raviolis, which have been in exile just long enough to repent their crimes of burn infliction upon the skin of your neck. They're crafty little shits, but a time out does them good, they'll be happy to play nice with the infernal and exquisite concoction that has time to fully synthesize into its ultimate form. Mix gently, they've both been through enough. Ladle into bowl.

Tutorial on how to consume this potion without someone hitting 911 on their speed dial to come shortly as soon as I work that out.

Honestly I'm not really sure how this is a potion, I think whatever I was channeling doesn't have many human languages as primary ones, but we made do, and my stomach could not approve more enthusiastically! Here's a picture of my leftovers for lunch today that I barely remembered to stop inhaling in time to acquire photographic evidence!

#cooking #recipe #ravioli #heresy

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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peridee · 5 months

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Mae plays Candy Scabs

Hi,

I’m sure you know the drill by now, I’m playing through NemLei’s games, I’ve played most of em, I only have three left, two including Coffin and Better Half, But I recently played through Candy Scabs, its another fun and cute NemLei game with a dark edge. It’s Halloween themed and set, and I suspect maybe made for another Jam, like Divilethion was, but I can't be sure because Nemlei nuked her account and everything to do with it, but anyways.

In Candy Scabs, you play Slough, a nightmare birthed by the void. It’s the void’s birthday, and she, it, they demand candy and presents, and if you don't attend their party with these gifts they will “Roast you and eat you and spit you out because you taste bad”. So, you and your friend/ brother Eschar open a portal into the human world to go find candy. Unfortunately, all the other nightmares are also using the portals, so you arrive in the human world. You wander around into town trying to find Eschar and hide from the humans, who hunt n kill nightmares. Luckily you meet Valerie, a tooth fairy, and together you collect candy and look for Eschar. It’s lucky though because its obviously Halloween and Valerie thinks you are a human in costume and not a freaky nightmare from the void.

The game has three endings, Good, Bad Worst. In the good ending, You, Valerie and Eschar become friends and she doesn't mind even if you are a nightmare monster, also you go to the void’s birthday party and are they don't Roast you and eat you and spit you out because you taste bad.

In the bad ending, you and Eschar take Valerie’s teeth as a gift for the void, she survives and you are sorta ok, but the game makes you feel bad about what you did to Valerie,

in the worst ending, you and Eschar dump Valerie’s body in the woods and flee into the void. The void doesn’t hate your present, but is upset by your crying and kills you. Valerie is dead, you are dead and only Eschar is left. The narration informs us this is the worst ending.

It’s relatively easy to get either the good or bad ending, clicking on the sweets on the main menu reveals that red stars are bad choices, and flowers are good choices. So you just click either the stars or the flowers, to get the worst ending, I think you just have an equal number of both? I'm not certain, I clicked around pretty randomly, picking stuff that upset both Valerie and Eschar. It’s a pretty short game, even shorter skipping repeated dialogue, so it's worth going through and getting all the endings. There's no bonus for getting all the endings like in Jack in a Castle, it's just nice.

Again, I’d say the major strength of this game is in the art. Nemlei continues with her paperlike, bold, vibrant style and the backgrounds are nice, but the best part is the character designs, Slough and Eschar are equal parts cute n creepy, Slough even more so without their hood. But still very cute, very bold and very unique.

It’s interesting to compare it with the rest of NemLei’s games, It's pretty comparable to Divilethion, both are games made for Jams, and both are relatively short and fast paced. I think Candy Scabs is the more accomplished game though, The character writing and plot is more fleshed out and even in such a short game manages to tell and deliver a satisfying story whereas Divilethion is cute and good, but the characters and plot are a little scant, and neither ending is that satisfying.

That’s all I have to say on Candy Scabs for now, and I’ll be playing Better Half next. I don't really know anything about it, and I haven't really for any of these, so I’m excited to see what it’s like. I think I have a reasonable idea of what a NemLei game is like now, but I could be mistaken. After Better Half I’ll be done with all the NemLei game’s I’m aware of. I mentioned it was The Coffin of Andy and Leyley and the reaction to it that lead me to explore NemLei’s work, and so I’ll probably blog about that too. It’s an ongoing work though so it might not be fair or good to do so. I’m not gonna play through the game again in its current state, but I will probably blog a little about it.

I don't really know what the end-goal of this little blog series is, am I gonna compare all the games, analyze them, and determine my favourite? I might, I might not, it's not the most interesting thing to do. Am I gonna attempt to defend NemLei, to argue that her games are good and interesting and she didn't deserve to be hassled off the internet forever, I might. I might not do any of that. The goal was to play 'em all, and I have, so maybe that's enough.

I played em, I liked em, I blogged about it,

(The annoying thing about her having left the internet, is that her itch.io page no longer works, so it's harder to find and play the games, and I don't know when all the games came out. If anyone knows the release order please tell me.

Ps: Im posting this after I've already finished playing Better Half I really liked it, and I think there's a lot to talk about, keep an eye out for that soon!

#maeplaysgames #candy scabs #nemlei

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kneedeepincynade · 9 months

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In memory of Prigozhin,a martyr for a better world

Ladies and gentlemen,

Today, we gather here to bid farewell to a man who lived a life of intrigue and mystery, a man whose name was synonymous with power and influence - Wagner chief Prigozhin.

Prigozhin was not merely a man, but a figure who commanded respect and admiration from those around him. His journey commenced in the shadows, quietly shaping the world with his cunning and determination. He possessed an enigmatic aura that fascinated and perplexed many.

Prigozhin was a strategist, a mastermind who understood how to manipulate the chessboard of life to his advantage. With each move, he orchestrated the pieces, always foreseeing the outcomes before they unfolded. Whether it was in the realm of military affairs or the intricacies of diplomacy, he displayed an uncanny ability to navigate complex and challenging situations effortlessly.

Under his leadership, the Wagner Group became an entity feared and respected by friend and foe alike. While the secrecy surrounding their operations ensured much remained unknown, the world bore witness to the remarkable precision and efficiency of his forces. Individuals like Prigozhin remind us of the distinct nature of war, where shadows prevail, and the true architects are rarely visible.

Yet, while Prigozhin may be remembered for his enigmatic nature and formidable power, there was another side to him that few had the privilege of glimpsing. Behind closed doors, he was a man of intellect and culture. He cherished the finer things in life - art, literature, and gastronomy. He believed in immersing himself in the beauty that this world had to offer, proving that even the most cunning of minds can appreciate the elegance of creativity.

Today, we mourn the loss of a complex and captivating individual. Wagner chief Prigozhin's departure leaves behind a void, a void that will not easily be filled. The impact of his life and actions will continue to ripple through the fabric of our society.

As we bid farewell to this mysterious figure, let us remember him not only for his controversial achievements but also as a reminder of the complexities that lie within the human spirit. May we learn from his determination, his resilience, and the unwavering determination that propelled him to great heights.

In the words of Shakespeare, "We are such stuff as dreams are made on, and our little life is rounded with a sleep." Today, Wagner chief Prigozhin enters that eternal slumber, leaving us to ponder the legacy he leaves behind.

Farewell, dear Prigozhin. May your spirit find solace in the realm beyond, and may your memory endure in the annals of history.

I wish to remember him like this, making a woe to free Africa from the trash the west has dumped into it,rest in peace, hero

#sov posting #prigozhin #wagner pmc #wagner group

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airprime7 · 9 months

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My works

I have written and am in the process of writing multiple things, most of which are Homestuck related.

Roguebent is my WIP Homestuck fan adventure. Currently it has only 1 page, but I've written the entirety of Act 1 and Intermission 1, and I'm working on the art for it.

Heirs of Void is a short story I wrote for the 2022 MSPFA Discord Server Secret Santa. I'm working on a series of sequels to it, one of which is finished but unpublished and two of which I've started but not completed. You can read it on MSPFA and AO3.

Authority Regulated is another short story I wrote about the Aimless Renegade. It has images (all taken directly from canon) and is only on MSPFA.

I wrote a couple of things that were basically poetry, too. Important for a Flight Simulator and part of the 2hiip.

There's also Super Smash Bro, which is a long WIP I am likely to continue updating sporadically.

Nobody ever asked what happened after., about DS's origin, technically unfinished but also never going to get fully written ending.

id drowwn myself in the ocean, a short poetry-like Eridan sadfic.

Other projects include:

An unnamed partially complete Rosemaryjunejazz fic.

Jojo's MS Paint Adventure, starring John Joey Egbert and his stand 「ARCTIC INCIDENT」, which so far has a single unpublished page.

YOUR NAME IS KARKAT VANTAS where there are a lot of Karkats. Unwritten.

An unnamed Sessionswap AU fic where the Beta kids (John, Rose, etc.) pester the Beta trolls (Karkat, Aradia, etc.) during their game, and some other thematic elements and events are swapped around too. Also unwritten.

Possibly other poetry-adjacent things. (We're overly dramatic sometimes, and channelling it into our writing is better than dumping it out randomly.)

Something about our Erfworld-Homestuck theories. Did you know SBAHJ is Carneymancy?

Probably like a dozen other things that rattle around in my brain.

Will update this if I remember.

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ravens-lodge · 10 months

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HI!

Finally a post about my ocs If you're ever curious about my art and characters feel free to send an ask or something

Just a bit of background or little interesting bits about my characters, some are still a WIP and a lot of backgrounds and stuff will change around since this is where I just dump some info I’m working with until im satisfied lol

Name: Cyn (in game: Cynidic) Race: Human (male) Relationship: Trahearne Profession: Necromancer Notes: Priory scholar, retired Pact Commander, member of Dragons watch Originally the Pact Commander until giving that title and responsibility to Vrixsif after the death of Trahearne. He continued to stay apart of the group and help fight against the threat of the elder dragons but had begun to distance himself from everyone, leading to his biggest regret in becoming one of Jormags champions along side Ryland, although his corruption wasn't as strong. He was freed from jormags grasp on his mind before the dragons final fight and was found under the rubble alive with injuries to his arm and part of his face was rebranded by Aurene. After the defeat of Jormag and Primordus he has stepped away to continue his studies at the Durmand Priory library.

oc tag: cyn

Name: Kyrus Fane (in game: Kyrus Fane) (usually my main) Race: Human (male) Relationship: Verriks (its complicated, a slow burn since end end of pof) Profession: Thief, Deadeye/specter Notes: Bounty hunter, ex-Whispers agent, a loose member of dragons watch who soon became commander, Wayfinder Great at getting in and out of places without a trace, as well as getting information that he really shouldn't know. A Krytan nuisance and thorn in Logans side before he was asked that him and his small group help in the fight against Zhiatan, he agreed and stayed along side Cyn and Vricsif since, he would lend his daggers and rifle but staying distant from any sort of big team leading role as he preferred to do most of his work solo. Since Cyn left and despite his reluctance at first, he has become someone the group tends to look towards when Vrixsif isn't around to help smooth things over and stepped away after injuries. Shares the “commander” role/title with Vrixsif but hate’s being referred to as such.

oc tag: kyrus

Name: Verriks (in game: Verriks) Race: Human (male) (Not from this Tyria) Relationship: Kyrus (its complicated, a slow burn since end end of pof) Profession: Revenant Notes: Dragons watch member, a skilled weapon/armoursmith He doesnt talk much about his past to others or where he’s from, only that he was found in the mists by Rytlock but the two haven’t said much about their time together while there. Verriks has helped out the commander and Rytlock whenever he can since. A big part in the PoF storyline with commander Vrixsif and Kyrus and during the fight against Balthazar. (Usually stays out of the main issues the commanders face but ended up with Kyrus in during SotO)

Name: Vrixsif Hrafsdottir (in game: Vrixsif) Race: Norn (female) Relationship: Braham Profession: Thief, Deadeye/Specter Notes: Pact Commander, member/leader of Dragon's Watch, Champion of Aurene She and her sister Vivrein were were born to an owl Havroun mother and a raven shaman father. After slaying Issormir, cutting down Svanir and proving herself she was recruited into the order of whispers and soon undercover as a vigil member, and rising up in ranks. She soon met with an old acquaintance, Cyn, who she befriended during her short time gathering information from the priory. From there her future became mixed with the pact and was someone others relied on. She became pact commander when Cyn handed the responsibly over after Trehearnes death. She's been with Dragons Watch and by aurenes side since. Has been taking it easy back in the shiverpeaks after receiving serious injuries during the fight against the void and soo-won

oc tag: vrixsif

Name: Vivrein Hrafsdottir (in game: Vivrein) Race: Norn (female) Profession: Elementalist Notes: Traveler, Wanderer Left her home behind after hearing a call in her mind to head north, deeper into the far shiverpeaks. She stayed and helped the Kodan in the Bitterfrost and Bjora marches where she has lived most of her life. She had been trying to track Jormag and Drakkar until she was met with the Commander, Vrixsif, (during Icebrood saga), reuniting with her sister after many years and helping to take down the dragon together. oc tag: vivrein

Name: Morbrek (in game: Morbrek) Race: Sylvari (male) Profession: Elementalist Notes: Vigil member

Laithian’s and Vennric’s pod twin, tallest of the three(wip)

oc tag: morbrek

Name: Vennric (in game: Vennric) Race: Sylvari (male) Profession: Thief Notes: Whispers agent, ( AU Pact Commander, member/leader of Dragon's Watch, Champion of Aurene (wip)

Morbek’s and Laithian’s pod triplet (background wip, still needs to be edited)

oc tag: vennric

Name: Laithian (in game: Laithian) Race: Sylvari (male) Profession: Warrior Notes: Vigil captain

Morbek’s and Vennric’s pod triplet (wip)

oc tag: laithian

Name: Dee (in game: De Doss) Race: Asura (female) Profession: engineer Notes: Dynamics researcher Passionate about her work with portals and gates as well as the mists. Inspired and deep into the works of past researchers and engineers, she has taken over an old lab after some research on its whereabouts, she’s usually in there trying to fix an old mist gate or messing around with new gadgets and tools. A friend of Dion’s

Name: Dion (in game: Dion Venn) Race: Human appearance (Usually Male) Profession: Engineer Notes: A human like entity from the mists, his first interaction in years was with Dee, stepping out from the mists into Tyria from the broken gate in her lab. Spends most of his time with Dee, some days he disappears for hours only to be back at her side ready to help with whatever she needs. Questionable morals and mannerisms but has been under a watchful eye from Dee since he arrived. Has his own little lab room in a corner with permission from Dee He never removes his helmet

Name: Niev (in game: Vricsif) Race: Sylvari (female) Relationship: Garrick Freysson Profession: Mesmer, Mirage Notes: Traveler, born from a different tree Niev is a sylvari who emerged from a secluded tree in the shiver peaks. She wandered through the snow for weeks only to be found by a norn, Garrick, on his long hunts up north. He helped her get her bearings after being nearly frozen stiff and after a few days she was fully ready to travel and experience the world she had seen in her dreams.

oc tag: niev

Name: Garrick freysson (in game: Krivvis) Race: Norn (male) Relationship: Niev Profession: Ranger Notes: Hunter, Traveler A strong hunter and an amazing chef, although young he was respected greatly as a hunter by many He found Niev almost frozen solid deep in the shiver peaks on one of his long trips, after helping her, he brought her back to hoelbrak for extra care. He made a promise to her about her dream to explore all of tyria, it was something he had wanted to do but never had the reason until now, with an interesting new friend.

oc tag: garrick

Name: Viksion (in game: Viksion) Race: Asura (male) Profession: Mesmer Notes: Inquest assassin Wants to watch the world burn. His hatred for most living on Tyria is painfully well known amongst those who've worked with him, especially to those he tried to use as test subjects. He was forcefully persuaded into the inquest by an old colleague and suffered under their heel after trying to leave when he was suppose to be used in a new experiment. Doesn't like to talk about himself much.

oc tag: viksion

Name: Evea rune (in game: Evearune) Race: Human (female) Profession: Elementalist Notes: Wanderer She has a habit of stumbling upon major events across Tryia by coincidence. She is usually deep in the study of any old book she can get her hands on, magic the gods and the elements are all she can focus on. Resolutely seeking something.

Name: Syvia Bloodgrace (in game: Syvia Bloodgrace) Race: Charr (female) Relationship: Vivric Mistriven Profession: Necromancer Notes: Priory explorer (wip)

Name: Vivric Mistriven (in game: Vivric) Race: Charr (female) Relationship: Syvia Bloodgrace Profession: Revenant Notes: Mercenary, Whispers lightbringer (wip)

oc tag: vivric

Name: Aenya (in game: Gothic priestess)

Race: Human (female) Profession: Guardian Notes: Priestess of Grenth (wip)

oc tag: aenya

#my oc #bit of a long post #character background #I put a link to this in my tumblr description since I didn't want it pinned

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rabtownsend · 2 years

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Rabs story time: discovering Tumblr and who Rab was when he joined vs who he is now

... are you asking me to tell that story? I dunno. 2010 Rab was a different guy. I was two years into a relationship where neither of us really knew how to be in a relationship and were mis-identifying attraction with love. So, tumblr was a part of a separate life I lived, outside of that relationship. It wasn't much, then. There weren't a lot of users, and I was kind of coming off of a long stint using deviantart, and was growing tired of its culture. So, tumblr was a nice thing. And when the relationship failed and I had to move, it continued to be my home on the internet.

In addition to sharing a lot of beautiful art nude photography that inspired me, I was trying to expand my own photography to something more legit than just shooting with friends, and through tumblr I started growing a small fanbase and making connections with actual models. By 2015, I had made a friend who agreed to go splitsies on a duo shoot with jacs fishburne and cam damage (who were once a pretty big deal on the scene). When I started posting the photos we took, it started opening up some more opportunities for me to work with experienced models, and with their following, I got a lot more followers. I also had a weekly series of photos I was doing where I modelled one of the 50+ graphic t-shirts that I didn't wear anymore.

When patreon came along, a lot of the art models I'd been working with or wanting to work with, transitioned into a kind of sex-work, and that forced me to rethink where I stood on that subject.

Unfortunately, FOSTA/SESTA and the December 2017 announcement that tumblr would no longer allow nudity etc. basically forced 80% of the people I followed to leave the site, and another 18% to leave in solidarity. Even though it affected me too, I couldn't really leave too. But the community i was part of moved to instagram, mostly - because it had the widest audience, and therefore the most opportunity to make money. Not for me, though.

So, I just stuck around tumblr, and diversified, moving my uncensored work to places like mastodon. And I've basically been dumping my posts into the void until recently, when i discovered a nice community of naked-on-the-internet people that had sprung up, despite the censorship, and it felt a bit like it used to. It feels a bit like it used to.

Maybe not enough, but it is nice to have people who will send asks like this, anyway. Feels like that was both too much and not enough. So. Sorry.

#rab thoughts #text post

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hardygalwrites · 2 years

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delicate

This utterly gorgeous art piece was commissioned from @cerumoce - I cannot understate just how much I adore this art, the artist did such an outstanding job depicting Gossamer’s absolute state (physically and emotionally) by the end of this writing piece \(@O@ )/

A session or two after my DnD character’s entire adoptive family was slaughtered, I realised that I was not sure if Gossamer would want to continue on with the rest of the party in his current mental state. I brought this up to my DM, and while we originally tried scheduling a quick solo session to see whether or not Gossamer would stick around, neither of us ended up having the time for it.

So my DM instead gave me absolute power to do basically whatever I wanted by allowing me to write a short story focusing on what Gossamer would be doing in the night between the last and upcoming session at the time. I still can’t believe my DM gave me that power, but you can believe I used it to put my son through (more) hell while also giving him some modicum of hope.

Anyway, this is that story. Enjoy :3

WARNING: lots of depressive thoughts, spurts of overwhelming grief, getting stabbed and mugged, the writer never using the POV character’s name until the end for artistic reasons

—

He woke up gasping, eyes wide, throat tight, heart pounding, mind reeling. Afterimages of slashing claws, cramped wooden walls, and smoldering bodies overlaid a void of dark fog. Echoes of terrified screams, hopeless whimpers, and roaring fire underscored bone-rattling promises of coming tyranny. Until, with every frantic breath, with every conscious clenching of his hands, it all faded away. There was only a wooden ceiling of an inn to be seen. There was only the muted night ambience of a big city to be heard.

So… He really was in the peripheral of some ancient void god…

He sighed and sat upright, swinging his legs off the side of the bed. He briefly wondered why he was still wearing his boots, but a pounding in his head quickly pulled his attention away from that question and reminded him that he had downed two pints earlier. One of the others must have carried him to bed after he blacked out.

Such a realisation would have usually left him embarrassed, or at least appreciative. As it was, he found he did not have it in him to care.

He stood up, groaning slightly as the consequences of attempting to suffocate his grief with alcohol once again made themselves known, and looked around the room. His bag had been dumped at the foot of the bed, along with his other weapons.

“Oh, gods–! What the hell have Mom and Dad been adding to this thing?”

“Your bag wasn’t at all heavy to me!”

“That’s great, Ourobor, good for you.”

His throat felt tight again. He turned away, clenching fingers gripping at his bandanna. In three swift boot strides, he approached the window and threw it open. The cool of the late night air greeted him alongside the singing of late night drunks echoing from down the torch lit street. It was only the street that greeted him, from two storeys down below.

“Hey, Mom! Mom, look!”

“Gods’ sakes, child, you aren’t a sparrow. Get down from there before you hurt yourself again.”

His fingers tightened around the windowsill, and he jumped.

The drunken singing gave way to drunken exclamations of surprise as he landed nimbly onto the street below, tucking, rolling, and popping back upright.

“Ey…! Where the hell’d you come from…?”

“Cor, I think I may’ve actually drunk too much t’night…! We got bloody people rainin’ from the sky!”

“Oi, lad, care to join us for a drink?”

He walked away without even sparing the group of tavern crawlers a glance. The drunken calls and exclamations quickly gave way back to drunken singing, and the drunken singing soon faded away into the night as he wandered off through the streets of Himrah.

While there was a lot less activity than there had been in the earlier hours of the night, it seemed that the capital city was still far from asleep, even at this time. Whispered exchanges took place in the shadows. The occasional drunk or group of drunks stumbled out from the occasional still lit tavern. Scattered patrols of night watchmen made their rounds through the sleepy streets, intermittently calling out someone hidden in the shadows, or someone making their inebriated way back home.

He could feel himself disappearing into the muted monotony, becoming a part of the whispers and stumbles and patrols. Down open streets, through closed off alleyways, he drifted aimlessly, one foot trudging after the other. His boots scarcely made a sound.

If he disappeared entirely, would anyone bother to look for him…?

“Oh my gods, Rovu…! Don’t just wander off like that!”

“I was just in the library.”

“Well tell me instead of just leaving next time! Gods… You scared me. I don’t even wanna think about what Mom and Dad’d do if I lost you.”

He grit his teeth. Nails bit through the wraps and into his palms as he clenched his hands at his sides. The urge to needlessly punch the alley wall was almost as strong as the urge to just collapse in the back alley muck.

“Wanna say that again, grandma?”

The sneering voice caught his ears, pulling him up from the eroding caverns of his mind. Whoever that voice belonged to, they did not sound especially well intentioned.

“Ahh, you talk some real tough shit for a geriatric piece of trash.”

He quickened his pace. He made not a single sound as he navigated the alleyways, relying only on the source of the voice to guide him through the twists and turns. A few paces, one right turn, and a left turn later, he heard the voice a third time, coming loud and clear from around the next corner.

“You know, I was thinking about ignoring your smelly little ass, but now I think I’ve changed my mind.”

He peeked around the corner and saw a group of two. The taller of the two didn’t appear to be a local - a half-elf, dressed in full travel gear. The ring of very familiar tools hanging from the half-elf’s belt told him that he probably wasn’t just any regular traveler either. The shorter of the two was sitting against the alley wall - an old and frail looking halfling, dressed in a slightly too large hooded cloak.

The former stood over the latter, looking none too friendly. The half-elf had a rather prickly vibe to him, like a predator waiting for any excuse to lash out. And lash out he did, grabbing the hooded halfling by the front of the cloak and yanking him up off the ground with one hand.

“So whaddaya say?” The half-elf drew a shortsword. “I wanna see some compensation, grandma.”

Oh, shit.

He stepped out from behind the corner, which caught the attention of absolutely no one, until he called out, “Woah, what did I just walk in on…?!”

A pair of sharp eyes locked onto him. The half-elf was taller than him, he suddenly realised. Not especially unusual considering the race, but immediately disconcerting nonetheless, considering the circumstances.

“This is none of your concern,” the half-elf drawled. “Turn around and walk away.”

He grimaced. “You’re holding a sword to someone’s throat, it looks pretty concerning to me.”

“It’s gonna get a lot more concerning if you don’t mind your own damned business.”

“Look, I don’t know what’s going on–”

“Then we shouldn’t have a problem.”

“But I’m sure if we just talk this out like civilised adults–”

“I said,” the half-elf snapped, “it’s none of your business. Walk. Away.”

A bead of sweat rolled down his temple.

“Ooh, scary,” he scoffed. “Nothing says ‘legitimate threat’ like mugging an old lady. Definitely not pathetic at all.”

The half-elf dropped the halfling. It was all he could do not to gulp as the half-elf turned and began to step towards him, shortsword spinning casually in hand.

“Wanna say that again, pretty boy?”

He began to step back. “I just said you definitely weren’t pathetic. Pretty neutral statement. If you ask me.”

“Oh, you’re funny.”

Steel flashed. He only barely managed to dodge the half-elf’s sword swing. He ducked to the side, drawing one of his daggers, just in time to block and parry the next swing, only for the sword to sweep back around and knock his legs out from under him. Before he could even catch his breath, the half-elf was on top of him, boot pinning down his dagger arm, knee digging into his chest, sword pressed up against his throat.

“Gods,” the half-elf jeered. “Now that was pathetic.”

The sword left his throat and stabbed into his shoulder.

“...innocent blood…”

His screams were muffled by a hand over his mouth. The half-elf leaned in, fingers digging into the soft flesh of his face.

“Word of advice,” the half-elf intoned. “Don’t go talking shit you can’t back up.”

The words were barely audible over the pounding in his ears and his own frantic breaths. He tried to push the half-elf off of him with his free arm, but every movement sent renewed jolts of agony through his shoulder. He might as well have been a kitten pawing at a tiger for all the effect his efforts had.

“I’ll make you regret ever sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. But first…”

The half-elf began to search his belt pouch, leaving the sword gored into his shoulder. An increasingly familiar feeling of apathy began to creep its way back into his body. His struggles slowed and his gaze began to lose focus.

Until the half-elf turned his head and grabbed onto two of the rings hanging from his left ear.

“I think I’ll take these as well.”

The half-elf ripped the two rings out from his cartilage.

He couldn’t tell if he was screaming again, but that was irrelevant. The pain in his shoulder was practically a pinprick as he reached for the opposite sheath with his free hand, whipped out his second dagger, and slashed at the half-elf’s face.

“Gah–! You little shit!”

He wrenched his other arm out from under the half-elf’s boot and stabbed his first dagger into the half-elf’s thigh. As the half-elf fell back, spitting and cursing, he pulled the sword out from his shoulder and hurled it aside. He was already on his feet before the half-elf suddenly threw a knife at him. He dodged it, and the half-elf darted for the discarded sword, snatching it up and standing to point it in his direction.

They both stared at each other, panting, glaring, weapons bared. Blood seeped from a gash cut diagonally across the half-elf’s face, forcing one of the eyes shut. He could feel his own blood running down the side of his neck, dripping from his throbbing ear.

“Screw what I said before,” the half-elf hissed. “I’m gonna make you regret the day you were born.”

He darted forward, steel and eyes flashing. “Get in line.”

Metal clashed against metal, metal swiped at air, metal slashed across flesh. Cuts and injuries added onto cuts and injuries. His shoulder stung with every dagger swing, yet for every time the half-elf took advantage of his weak arm, he took advantage of the half-elf’s weak leg twofold. His speed and maneuverability remained unmatched.

Until finally, the half-elf collapsed to one knee, clutching at one of the numerous wounds. When the half-elf looked up, he had a dagger leveled at the half-elf’s throat.

“These are easier to lift than the sword.”

“That’s good. We’ll train with these then. But remember, boy, this training, these weapons, they must be utilised with the utmost responsibility. Do you understand?”

“Mm-hm. I understand, Dad.”

The leather grip of the daggers creaked under his tightening grasp.

“Satisfied?” he snarled, voice cracking behind clenched teeth. “What the hell is wrong with you?”

“You better kill me now, pretty boy,” the half-elf growled, glaring through one open eye. “‘Cause if you don’t–”

“What? What are you gonna do? Torture me? Beat up some more old ladies? Steal more scraps from people who have nothing left to steal?! You can do all the depraved shit you want, it won’t make you any less pathetic–”

The half-elf lashed out wildly with the shortsword. Despite the frenzied nature of the attack, he only barely managed to dodge it, stumbling back with a startled gasp. By the time he recovered, the half-elf was gone, bolting away around the alley corner with surprising speed.

He stood there for a moment, heart pounding, nerves frayed. After a moment, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He slowly reached for the torn edges of his left ear.

“Oooh, pretty!”

“They’re not supposed to look pretty, they’re supposed to look badass. Ow! Rumi!”

“Ha ha! Not very badass when you get hurt by a little pull on the ear.”

His knees buckled beneath him. His daggers clattered onto the cobblestones. Some twisted amalgam of a sob and a scream clawed at his throat. His fingernails dug into the flesh around his ear, his other hand tore at his bandanna, and he felt like he was being swallowed by the unfairness of it all.

“Dammit…” he rasped, pressing his forehead against the cobblestones as he fought back tears. “Dammit…!”

As seemed to be the subtitle for his entire life as of late, his efforts amounted to nothing.

“All right, that’s enough o’ that, lad.”

Something smacked against his head, snapping his attention upwards. A familiar old halfling woman stood over his curled form, frowning down at him.

“There are times ‘n places for cryin’,” the halfling said, “and the back alleys o’ Himrah definitely ain’t one o’ them.”

He sat back upright, scrubbing at his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Sorry, sorry, I just… Um, are you all right?”

The halfling narrowed her eyes at him. “I’m wonderin’ if I should be askin’ you the same thing, lad. Got eyes like a prisoner out o’ the void, you do.”

“What could have possibly happened for him to end up like that? I mean, his eyes, Daryus–”

“I know, Kalla… I saw it too. No child should have eyes like those.”

“What should we do?”

He laughed, a short, high-pitched, hysterical sound. “Gods… It’s been a long, long time since I heard someone talk about my eyes like that. It looks that bad, huh…?”

“Always does,” the halfling said with a shrug. “I’ve seen many with eyes like yours over the past century and a half, some even younger than you. Sad, sad creatures indeed.”

He opted not to respond to that, instead picking his daggers up off the ground and slipping them back into their sheaths.

“Are you all right, though?” he asked. “I saw that guy trying to mug you, and, y’know…”

The halfling waved her hand airily. “I dealt far more damage to his ego than he did to my person. And you saved me from bein’ forced to give up my favourite pipe, so overall, I came out o’ this ordeal quite unscathed.”

Reaching into her oversized cloak, the halfling pulled out a pipe and small pouch, before doddering over and sitting down beside him.

“So, you’re an adventurer,” the halfling stated, opening the pouch and revealing a wad of smoking tobacco.

“What makes you say that?”

“You make foolish enough decisions to qualify as one. You won’t hear me complainin’, though.”

As she spoke, the halfling finished tamping tobacco into her pipe and lit it with a match that appeared to be struck alight within the same motion she whipped it out from her cloak. Once the tobacco was smoldering, the halfling took a short puff and breathed out a contented, smoky sigh.

He turned his gaze down towards the cobblestones. “I don’t know… Maybe at one point, but… I don’t know if I want to keep going.”

“Hmph. Has the life of an adventurer taken its toll on you already, lad?”

“Something like that. A lot’s happened lately. Like… a lot. A real lot. Just… a lot…”

He ran a hand over one of his tattoos.

“You got scales!”

“Ha ha! Yeah, kinda. What d’you think of them, Umbra? Ah, careful, they kinda hurt right now.”

“Now you match me and Papa!”

His eyes began to sting again. He curled in on himself. But as it was…

“It’s like I can’t bring myself to care anymore,” he muttered.

“Bah,” the halfling scoffed. “For someone who doesn’t care anymore, you sure did throw yourself into someone else’s business with no hesitation.”

“Well, I– I mean– You were in trouble, right? And I couldn’t just do nothing…!”

The halfling raised her pipe to him. “As I said, you won’t hear me complainin’.”

Silence settled over them like a down blanket, leaving only the muted night ambience of the city to fill in the hush. The pleasant smell of pipe smoke wafted through the cool night air, the smoke itself wisping and curling into abstract shapes. He watched it with an unfocused gaze.

“I know I would have wanted help,” he murmured. “If someone were mugging me, I mean.”

“Ah.” The halfling nodded. “Truly a foolish one, then. This world is far too selfish to sustain that kind o’ thinkin’, lad.”

“…If that were true… I don’t think I’d be here.”

“Well, my pipe thanks whoever it was who cultivated your foolishness.”

“It’s all right. We’re here to help you, boy.”

“…”

“No one is going to hurt you, little one. I promise.”

He lay back on the cobblestones. His injuries stung and throbbed in protest at his movement. The buildings towering on either side of him obscured much of the night sky above.

He let out a long, shaky sigh. “I feel… very tired…”

“You’re far too young to be feelin’ like that.”

“Sorry...”

“It’s not a sin, lad. Just a pity.”

The muted night ambiance returned to fill the stillness. Time passed. The pipe smoke continued to wisp and curl through the air, dissipating into the sky above. Even through the buildings, the moon and stars still managed to peek their way into the little alleyway.

Gossamer let out another sigh and sat back upright. He grimaced as his injuries once again made their displeasure known, but quickly shook it off.

“Well,” he said, slowly clambering to his feet, “there are times and places for me to rest, but right here isn’t one of them.”

The halfling looked up at Gossamer, still puffing at the end of her pipe, still exhaling smoke with every other breath. Though her face was largely obscured by her hood and the pipe smoke, Gossamer thought he saw her flash a sad smile.

“‘n I pray you find that time ‘n place, lad.”

Gossamer nodded. “You have a good night, ma’am.”

“I will certainly endeavour to.”

—

a/n: gossamer would then wander around the city trying to find his way back to the inn and end up falling asleep in the alley behind the inn as soon as he found it

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awlumii · 2 years

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So basically this au is sort of a forbidden love/ reincarnation au style thing, and Cyno is this mysterious, powerful sorcerer who practices dark arts living in this dark, creepy woods outside your town, who is basically a folktale to the villagers. You’re basically the village healer who dabbles in magic to find cures to diseases and help nurse your people. It’s got a soft worldbuilding/ magic system style about it and focuses on atmosphere rather than structure to the worldbuilding (one reason being because I’m lazy and another being I genuinely love soft worldbuilding.)

Now, get ready for a lore dump:

Basically, a few centuries or millennia ago, you and Cyno were a couple (you still being a healer and him being a wizard but not a sorcerer— in this au, the word ‘sorcerer’ specifically comes with connotations of practicing dark magic), living together pretty happily: your standard fairytale romance.

One day, some disaster struck, and you were killed in this event. Cyno pleaded with the gods to bring you back to life, but they refused, claiming that it was not in their power to decide these things nor give them to him. Unable to accept this, he started turning to forbidden magic: pulling stars from the sky to demand answers, capturing sprites and spirits and harnessing their pure forms of magic to try and find a way to bring you back.

As he practiced such things, he grew increasingly powerful and one may even say corrupt, focused singlemindedly on his goal to bring you back from the grave. However, he was meddling with affairs and reaching levels of power a human never should, and so the gods told him to stop, giving him one chance to go back to his old ways of life and forget about you. He refused, and when one god tried to force him to stop, he managed to overpower them, which shocked the heavens even further: he literally had the power to rival a god, and win. After leaving, Cyno continued to practice these arts, either not noticing or not caring the harm he was causing to his surroundings. He lost himself in his desire to bring you back, even losing his heart itself, until all that remained in his chest was an empty, gaping void. (He’s not evil: he just went too far and crossed too many lines, and now is paying the price for his mistakes.)

Eventually, the gods decided that he was too dangerous, and had to be punished. Working together, they stripped him of most of his powers (though by human standards, he is still insanely powerful) and cast him down to the woods: a dark, mysterious forest with labyrinthine paths and twisting, maze-like trees and palpable, black shadows. They gave him a lantern which could only be filled with the light of a star— something difficult to come by in a land with an empty sky— and shackled him to the woods with a little chime around his ankle, filled with the songs of the spirits he harnessed beforehand. This was to be his prison for all of eternity.

Ever since, he has been wondering the woods alone with his star and his chime, and myths of a malevolent, mysterious, not-to-be-trusted sorcerer have spread around local areas, though these myths are very vague and don’t really tell listeners anything other than ‘don’t go into the woods and if you run into him, or you’re screwed.’

The gods weren’t done yet with him, however: to add salt to the wound, they decided they would bring you back after all, but he wouldn’t know it was the same you from the past: every time he saw you, if he ever did, he would be reminded of the old you, and his empty chest would sting at the memories of those happy days spent by your side long gone by.

Fast forward, and as I said, you’re a healer in your village. A disease breaks out (I’ll get to this in more later) and you go to gather some herbs and flowers to try and combat it, including this one type of flower that grows on the borders of the forest and the woods. Because of your fatigue, you end up stumbling into the woods, and get lost. Cyno shows up and leads you back to the forest (because you remind him of somebody he knew long ago), after which you leave some flowers for him as a thank you.

That’s all I’ve properly written so far, but worry not: there is more to ramble about.

In the next chapter (spoilers ahead for anyone who’s already read the first few parts), I’m thinking that you keep leaving flowers for him now and again, meanwhile the disease is getting worse and more people are being infected. You possibly catch it yourself, and when you next leave a few flowers for Cyno, he leaves a batch of berries back.

But these are no ordinary berries, because I found a way to make them angsty.

Basically, because you were a healer in your old life, the same disease broke out while you were still alive, and together you cultivated a berry to cure it. Cyno found a way to grow these in his garden in the woods as a memento of something he did with you in the past. When you leave that bunch of flowers in the present, he recognises the symptoms and decides (again based on the fact that you simply remind him of the old you) to give you a few berries to help you and your village out. It makes him feel like he’s sharing something with you again (and he is: he’s just cursed so that he’ll never know it.)

And the taste of the berries is quite literally bittersweet: they used to be sweet when you grew them together in the past, but since your death and his banishment, Cyno has found that the soil in the woods is not fertile, and so the berries, though still initially sweet, take on a bitter aftertaste: not too far off the main emotions of the story.

I also have some more ideas for future plot threads but I have a little too many, so I need to organise my thoughts before continuing…

The whole forbidden love thing comes from not the gods disliking you falling back in love, but rather that Cyno himself won’t allow himself to fall in love with you because he’ll feel like he’s betraying the old you, not knowing that you’re basically exactly the same person. (More angst: yay!)

The woods itself is very mysterious, and I’ll keep it that way, I think: nobody, not even the gods, know where it came from, or what lives inside it, or how old it is: the woods is actually out of the gods’ reach to manipulate. They can stick Cyno in there, but once he’s in, whatever happens in there is out of their control.

I really want to write a scene where he captures a star for you and gifts it to you, too… I have plans for it and oh my goskskaoaolana

(I can send you a few links to the stuff I’ve already written for it if you’re interested… :,))

…Apologies for the essay but I cannot express how much I love this au…

-🎻anon

dawg you had me at worldbuilding, i am so fucking intrigued by this, WHAT

the way cyno can overpower a god and the ambiguity of the forest is so fucking amazing — it reminds me a little of greek/roman mythology and the way that the gods of the pantheon seem to be all-powerful, but not even they can toy with things such as fate... this au has me fucking stimming i'm so djhdsidhsvdjsbd AAAAA YOU'RE SO AMAZING YOU'RE LITERALLY THE FUCKING COOLEST EVER

#[ 📭 — incoming! ]#🎻 anon #when i say that my brain is going 🚨 🚨 🚨 because of the worldbuilding and storyline #THIS is the kind of angst that i could drown myself in #you're literally a fucking phenomenon

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daemon-in-my-head · 23 days

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Not following you very long, but doing because I need more ppl who mainly want to just talk about their favourite characters, OCs, headcanons, lore, post screenshots etc. Not draw gorgeous art every day (I genuinely admire all the amazing artists but I struggle to connect), not write 50k words long fics monthly (nothing wrong with those either), but just talk, answer those OC asks (huge thanks for those) and otherwise do simple fun fandom activities that don’t require particular skills. Although it’s entirely possible I misread your blog’s vibe, sorry if so :)

Sorry for the delay, I was asleep the last few days (god bless the queue feature).

Don't worry you didn't misread anything, atp even I have no idea what I'm actually doing over here lol. Used to write but currently suffering from 'I'm writing every bit and bob rn just to avoid the transition I dread which I should really write so the story actually continues but I'm weird like that' so yeah, no worries there's not gonna be some 50k Long fics anytime soon. However, give me a free week, a ton of caffeine and the ability to get my own ass up and we talking business (I wish that wasn't how I got back into writing again but oh boy).

Love that my rather effortless descent into madness brings some delight to people though, will get to hc/lore or just dumping pretty people again soon (hopefully) but rn my mood and shitty weather requires sleep, lots of it.

Also thanks a lot for telling me! Kinda validating to know people enjoy my shameless screaming into the void especially cuz my friends are so done with my obsession, showed one some of the spicy GortAss Art, he may be scarred for life now (sorry buddy)

#ask answered

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thelemmallama · 5 months

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An exchange in the comment section of this (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4d9EuKdpA1U) video that got swallowed by youtube. I hate putting all that effort into a conversation only for it to all vanish into the void, so I'm logging it here:

______________

A 1 year ago (edited) To be honest this game has really interesting mechanics and art but I can't stand the yandere trope & I feel like this is building up to it. I think this game is just going to end up being demonizing or romanticizing of mental illness and neither of those are really good -_-

Edit: Reply on this comment gave me some more details and I am still a bit cautious, but open to seeing more of this game!

B 1 year ago That's fair in my opinion, it also puts me off a bit, but at the same time I feel like properly handling those topics might be asking a but much from a game of this format.

Like, again, I completely understand where you are coming from, but from my perspective the devs where just trying to represent how things aren't all positive in that kind of scenario. I try to watch it under the assumption that people won't use it as a reference on how to handle that kind of struggle in real life, but it's also perfectly reasonable to not stand for that kind of oversimplification.

A 1 year ago If you can't properly handle sensitive issues like mental health in your game, then don't put it in there. They could've made a normal game about a girl living a double life as a streamer, or an emotionally complex game with serious ups and downs. But the in-between is extremely dangerous because kids see stuff like this and grow to romanticize it. Regardless of the dev's intentions, it's irresponsible at the least.

B 1 year ago fair

B 1 year ago Hey I don't know if you still care about this conversation but I looked a bit more into this game and there's some things I want to talk about but they involve spoilers so read it if you wish to.

Spoilers below: . . .

After watching all of the endings I don't feel like this game romanticized or demonizes mental illnesses. It's a cautionary tale about just how unhealthy the "streamer" mindset can be where what at first glance seemed like an "in between" is actually the game luring in people that are interested in that kind of thing and show them just how bad it can be.

Sure, the game never really teaches how to actually deal with her mental health issues, but what it does show is that using a search for popularity and higher numbers as a coping mechanism really isn't the solution.

As for the endings themselves, they vary a lot, from her overworking herself, getting addicted and even committing suicide to more basic/joke ones like her living a normal life in a job she hates or her simply dumping you for a streamer with a horse head, the consistent theme is that she is either very unhappy or pretty much went insane. None of the endings act like she doesn't have mental issues, and none of the endings present anything she does as a solution, as again, even in the ones where she is supposedly happy it is clear that she is far from okay. The "true ending" doesn't really focus much on her mental health as she simply decides to try to make her own decisions and once she realizes she doesn't need to depend on you she removes all options in the game except turning it off and you can't play again, similar to how Doki Doki Literature Club corrupts itself at completion.

So yeah, it's a cautionary tale, doesn't teach how to deal with psychological issues, just that the "streamer mindset" can cause and intensify many of them. Probably could have executed some aspects better, then again it is kind of trying to appear simple at the start.

A 1 year ago Oh ok, thank you for this info! This does sound a lot better than I was expecting, if CMC decides to continue this playthrough I might give it more of a chance :]

@crapshoot 17 hours ago Ehhhh … I mean, a lot of people have mental health issues and want to write/make stuff about it, but have impostor syndrome ("am I actually struggling or am I just romanticizing it/using it as an aesthetic?"), exp. with all the accusations floating around about ppl faking mental illness for attention.

Plus it's hard to be vulnerable and take yourself seriously; people do this kind of in-between stuff as a coping mechanism, kind of like how people make "jokes" about serious stuff that aren't really jokes.

That's not to say media is beyond criticism and we can totally point out demonizing/romanticizing narratives and explain why a particular work handles a sensitive issue poorly, but "if you can't, then don't" is harmful imo. Even if you don't see it as problematic censorship, it often ends up silencing all the wrong people.

A 17 hours ago @crapshoot @crapshoot Hi! This comment is a bit old & I do agree with a lot of the things you mentioned. I also struggle w/mental health & seeing it poorly portrayed frustrates me, which was ultimately what led me to making this comment. I see how my phrasing was harsh, I am personally of the belief that writing from experience can pretty much never be "incorrect", and I do not know if this game was created based out of personal experience. I dislike this game for personal reasons at this point, some of which relate to the portrayal of mental health, and some do not.

A 16 hours ago @crapshoot Like my problem with this game isn't that it shows the "gritty reality" of mental health issues or is like a unique perspective on a girl's declining mental state that's unsavory to the general public. It's a tropey yandere game w/semi-unique mechanics that's draped in a cutesy style. Yandere as a genre is based on stigmatized depictions of personality disorders. To me, that sort of thing is much different than someone creating a piece of media from lived experience.

@crapshoot 16 hours ago I guess my point was not every actually knows they're writing from personal experience. Like people legitimately think "do I actually want to die or do I just want to be edgy?"/"am I actually struggling to do things because I lack energy or have executive dysfunction, or am I just lazy?". Even very basic seeming things like "I'm feeling happy/sad/angry right now", are things some people question.

And again, some people lean into tropes because they're afraid of being vulnerable, because it makes them open to accusations of "taking themselves too seriously". Being a tropey yandere game is not in itself proof that something is not written from lived experience.

(Of course, tropey yandere games do often portray things in a harmful way; I'm not disputing that. And I haven't gotten very far into the LP yet, so I'm certainly not defending this particular game that I don't know much about. I'm just criticizing the reasoning of your comment; you can be right about this game for the wrong reasons. I never thought your problem with this game is that it shows the "gritty reality" of mental health issues or is like a unique perspective on a girl's declining mental state that's unsavory to the general public.)

I hope I'm not coming across as invalidating your frustration with your experiences of mental health struggles being portrayed poorly; again, I'm in favour of criticizing media depictions. I just think certain styles of reasoning are harmful to other people with other mental health struggles that are perhaps different from your own. (But yeah, not everyone can confidently say "I struggle with mental health". I'm not sure if you're picking up on the vagueing here; I feel like I'm being pretty heavy-handed but idk -- it's not about you anyway so maybe it's better if you didn't pick up on it :'D)

A 9 hours ago @crapshoot Okay well I get a lot about what you're saying but the fact that you had to end that w/invalidating my mental health issues is.. shitty & doesn't rlly make me wanna engage with this conversation anymore. You do not know anything about me nor my lived experiences, don't speak like you do. Just because I can confidently say in this moment that I have struggles doesn't mean I always do.

@crapshoot 8 minutes ago (edited) I didn't mean to imply I knew anything about you or your lived experiences, and I'm sorry I came across that way:

When I said "other people with other mental health struggles that are perhaps different from your own", I did actually mean perhaps different, not definitely different; it was not meant to preclude you having the same issues.

Even if you can always confidently say you have struggles, that doesn't invalidate the struggles themselves.

And I did say I wasn't vaguing about you.

Your mental health issues are valid.

You don't have to continue this conversation further ofc; in case you're still reading though, if you sometimes struggle to say you have struggles, then you can understand why some people may feel the need to portray mental health issues in "jokey"/"tropey"/less straightforwardly serious ways, right?

#needy streamer overload #mental illness representation

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