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gloomy0x0phantom · 3 months

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When he falls out of love

Sanji x Fem!reader ❰ headcanon ❱ tags : angst angst aaaaaaaaaangst, falling out of love note : Thank you Silent Hill ost for bringing me so much sadness and inspiration today 😍

I hope you're ready to cry ~ ❥ Sanji will never tell you straight out that he no longer loves you. ❥ Even if you're no longer his soulmate in his eyes, he still loves you in some way, he doesn't want to put you through the pain of a break-up, a separation, so... he suffers in silence. He refuses to break up with you. ❥ He'll continue to tell you I love you, cook all your favorite dishes, caress you with tenderness and look at you with affection... he'll continue to make love to you, whisper sweet nothings in your ear and protect the flame of your bond. ❥ Over time, you'll be the one to notice the changes in his attitude and routine. ❥ Smoking like it's his last day on earth. The few cigarettes a day become a pack of cigarettes, and if he's been hiding his secret for a long time... two packs. This disastrous situation causes him stress that crushes all his energy, but when he takes a drag from a cig, everything seems to fall back into place for a few seconds. It's his only way of relaxing, although it hurts him in the end. ❥ When you wake up at night, he's no longer by your side. Sanji has always taken a few hours at night to prepare the ingredients for the next day, but he usually hurries back to cuddle with you and sleep. Now he's gone until the early hours of the morning. When you go to ask him to come with you, he looks at you with hearts in his eyes and promises to join you as soon as he finishes his chores. You end up falling asleep, alone... In reality, Sanji feels unable to share a bed with you, so he sleeps on the kitchen bench and wakes up before the others so as not to worry them. ❥ Sanji spends a lot more time in the kitchen trying out new dishes. He's so busy, it interferes with your activities as a couple, like: taking a bath together, napping, playing little games to keep you occupied, the cooking lessons Sanji used to give you that always ended up in the pantry... But it's normal for Sanji to be focused on his end, he's a chef and cooking is his art. It's totally normal, right? ❥ Sometimes, in very rare moments, Sanji slips up. When you walk out of your room in an outfit that suits you so well, you expect to get a completely over-the-top reaction from your boyfriend, but no... for a few seconds, your eyes meet and you see the emptiness in his blue ones. Sanji is startled and notices what has just happened, so to make up for it, he blurts out "My precious goddess, you're so beautiful, my brain has stopped working! What did I do in a previous life to deserve you, mon amour?" ❥ Sanji is a loyal man, but now that his heart is separated from yours, he allows himself to fall under the spell of other women when you're not around. He can't help fantasizing about other women. Guilt eats him up and he feels disgusted imagining other women under his body or simply in his arms. He finds comfort in the fact that you'll never see what's lurking inside his skull and that, at least, he's faithful to you... physically.

It's his turn to keep an eye on the Thousand Sunny at night, and this moment of silence can only do his wounded soul good. Sanji sucks the poison from his cigarette and slowly releases the smoke. He gazes at the sea, imagining himself somewhere else, a few years before you joined the crew, when Nami and Robin were his only worries. He recalls the happiness that was born in his heart when you officially joined the team, his nose running a river of blood at the idea of seeing you around all day long. And of course, you responded to his advances! Unlike the navigator and the archaeologist, you allowed yourself to be seduced quite easily, and Sanji took his chances. He had a great time with you, and frankly, he wouldn't trade it for the world, but... even though you're a deadly beauty, even though you're a strong, independent woman, even though you're perfect... you were not meant to be.

Sanji sighs and slowly shakes his head. For heaven's sake, it's been months since he realized that he doesn't share the same feelings as you, and every day he feels as if a knife is sinking a little deeper into his back. Can he honestly go on like this until death? Alas, for your happiness, he's willing to do the impossible, because at the end of the day, you're still his crewmate.

"Sanji, are you crying?"

The cook straightens up, he hadn't heard you coming. You shouldn't be awake, it's late at night, but you haven't been sleeping very well for a while. No idea why. Anyway, you weren't lying in your question, tears were indeed running down the blond's cheeks. You approach him carefully and wipe away his tears with a sad smile. The gesture provokes a sob from your boyfriend, so you open your arms wide and welcome him warmly. You stroke his back and try to comfort him as best you can.

"I don't know what you're trying to run away from, I don't know what's going on in your head, but I know you can defeat whatever's trying to hurt you. You're a strong man, Sanji, I believe in you."

The two of you part and look into each other's eyes. It's not the first time you've shared a long look full of undertones, but this time you both seem to be looking for something in the other's gaze. Sanji can't take it anymore, he can't take it anymore, but you're so perfect… What could he possibly blame you for, even if he tried to break up with you? You're thoughtful, caring, a good listener, you share your food with him, you give him little gifts, you compliment him every chance you get, honestly, you're the dream girlfriend. So, so, so perfect…

Sanji closes his eyes and presses his forehead against yours.

“Je t’aime. Je t’aime si, si fort…” (I love you. I love you so, so much.)

In your turn, you break down under the weight of emotion, you start to cry like him and don't hold back any tears. Your hands tighten on his shoulders and you try to remain calm. You knew it was a bad idea to approach him like that at night, but insomnia and bad feelings convinced you to join him under the moon. Honestly, you thought you'd found the courage to end your relationship, but seeing Sanji in this state? You know that parting with him would only break his heart and drive him deeper into darkness. You don't know what's been going on with him for the last few weeks, but it's obvious that he needs love and so you can't break up with him. One day, you'll tell him the truth... but for tonight, you've got to fulfill your duty as his, perfect, girlfriend.

“I know.”

#sanji x reader #sanji x y/n #sanji headcanons #one piece x reader #headcanons #x reader #gloomy0x0phantom

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oobbbear · 2 years

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I remember when the celestial twins was mostly shitposts

AAAAAAAAAANGST

Took inspiration from slowburn shows that look all happy n silly at season one but started burning at the season two n the rest of the show, it works super well

#ask

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triforce-of-mischief · 2 years

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Please I beg u write the Legend and Hyrule fic please yes omg aaaaaaaaa 🥺💖

HEAR ME OUT-

I already have a fic in the todo list where Time discovers the Downfall Timeline and takes it ✨wonderfully✨. Why not have Roolie speak up at the same time? AAAAAAAAAANGST~

#also that op's deactivated but i'm 99% sure of who it is because the blog name is almost exactly the same as a very active blog #lu #lu legend #lu hyrule #lu time #fable's asks #chatting with dragon!

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justbrainrot · 1 year

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I read Iron Widow last night (my whole house is sick & I had some insomnia) & it was not my normal jam but I liked it a lot. Otoh I forsure read it because I was excited about the polyamory-solves-the-love-triangle factor & in that respect I was kinda underwhelmed. All the characters were morally grey weirdos which is all *purrrrrrrr* but I kinda just wanted more from them. Like more OF them. The jump from “oh hello—chemistry!” to “this is an established thing now, deal with it” was a chasm.

It wasn’t that I needed more flowery descriptions of making out/banging. I am fine with spicy reads but fine without that stuff too, it’s not every author’s thing & I respect that. I just felt like these people were way more decisive than I’ve ever been, and I’m *long stare dot gif* considerably older than 18.

Hahaha I was just about to say “it felt really fast” & then I chided myself for being 100% unable to stop reading at roughly the pace of a formula one driver no matter what (this is a lifelong issue and ADHD is a disability lol.)

I like some squicky unsure feels & belly flutters & missed communication y’all! Aaaaaaaaaangst is a delicious part of my complete breakfasts and IW was just lacking in that department. So now I’m hungry. Harumph.

#iron widow #love triangle #polyamory #iron triangle #no spoilers #I don’t think

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a-mysterious-anom-girl · 2 years

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Anne, can I ask you: how did you even end up in this void? Do you know?

"I..." She's silent for a moment, then sets the root beer down on the counter. "...I... I don't know... been here as long as I can remember, really." She's not sure what to think about all this... she's still for a moment, then she opens wide and dumps the rest of her root beer into her mouth, sending it all into her gut with one big gulp before leaving the glass on the counter and moving over to the couch, not laying down on it, but still sort of... curling up. "...am I... stuck here...?"

#muse side (ic)#questions and such (asks)#build it up (renovation anon/reno)#LORE #muse lore #oh dear. (sad anne moments)#suddenly DEPRESSION!#AAAAAAAAAANGST MUAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAH #also how ya doing?

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shadowlight17 · 3 years

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OOOOKAY I have updated y'all!!! I UPDATED THE FIIIIIC It's a heavy chapter and it's like...almost 8k words?!?! WTH. It is a songfic chapter!! song linked above!!! Anyways, here's a link. I'm working on putting a discord server together to screech at me and each other in friendly camraderie but that is TBD for when that'll be available. Enjoy meee angstiiing!! https://archiveofourown.org/works/31194662/chapters/83623999

#Shadow's fic #SHADOW UPDATED #Metallum Decrusto #Bronze reallly needs a hug #Krell can just go die now #my writing #Shadow's OCs #AAAAAAAAAANGST #star wars the clone wars #Star wars the clone wars fanfic #Original Character #force sensitive clones #pong krell #Bronze | CT-5689 #I GOT THIS BETA'D SO MUCH AND MY WRITING *SOARED*#Spotify

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limeflavoredlobotomizer · 4 years

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Y’all ever start rewatching She-ra and realize just how terrible Catra must have felt when she realized the last conversation she ever had with the Adora she’d known since childhood, the one who had no idea who She-ra was, and the one that was always there for Catra and hadn’t abandoned her, was an argument where Adora walked out on her? ‘Cause I am.

#Yes this does mean She-ra won #And Im rewatching for the AU #So yeah #But the aaaaaangst #oh the aaaaaaaaaangst #Catra #Adora #Zio speaks

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danny-mcr · 4 years

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Five Times Kissed: ( Danny & Faith )

( 1 ) @faith-hunter-ltd

Danny was the captain of the football team and it was the single most awesome thing that had ever happened to him. It was also like, literally the biggest responsibility of his life. Up until now, that had just been a word he often misspelled. Needless to say when it came to perhaps their biggest game of the season so far, he was nervous as hell. Like, might throw up nervous.

Yeah, he’d definitely left that part out of the pep talk to the guys.

The last person in the world that Danny would have expected to see in those stands was her. Faith Hunter. Goddamn.

For all Danny had told his team to stay focused (yes, even Cole who was spending every other practice making out with Char behind the bleachers), when he’d seen her through the crowd, everything stopped. Danny had it bad, that much was obvious. He’d fallen head first without a helmet for literally the coolest girl in the world and if she didn’t instantly hate his guts, it would have been perfect.

Life was like that sometimes, right? She was there though. And he played the game of his life. Cliché. It was definitely cliché but if Faith Hunter could show up to a Havensdale High football game then he sure as hell could take a bone crushing tackle for the sake of the win.

“That’s gonna leave a mark,” he’d mumbled to himself, eyes closed, back in the dirt while the crowd and team erupted around him.

“There goes your last brain cell.” Where’d she come from?

“Tell me about it.”

Faith leaned down (only slightly fuzzy to his eye) and pressed her lips to her hand before pressing that hand to his helmet. Then she was gone, naturally, but he was left grinning like a fool. Cool.

( 2 )

“I’m not really one for compromises, Danny. Don’t make me regret this. Let’s just go.”

That’s what Faith had said the night he’d goaded her into coming to some football after party. In all honesty, he’d doubted his stupid grin and stupid speech about the ‘senior year experience’ would work but... Mind you, he had promised to shut up the whole time. How was he supposed to win her over when he couldn’t say anything?

Then again, considering how often he put his foot in his mouth around her, this might be a good thing. It was, ultimately. He gave her space, kept his lips zipped and mimed terribly from across the room at her. Faith didn’t laugh but Danny could have sworn there’d been a smile.

Honestly? That would have been enough. There was just something about being around her, seeing her, getting to listen to her even just for a minute that made him feel...good. Engaged. Fluttery. Worlds away from her but still willing to yell loud enough to be heard over all the reasons they shouldn’t work.

But then someone had to play that one Oasis song because of course they did. It was a party. There was beer and a bonfire; they’d just won another game so anyway, here’s Wonderwall.

His hand appeared in front of her wine stained lips first and she took an excruciating time to roll her eyes before looking up at him. Danny had puppy dog eyes and a goofy grin and he was finally shutting up.

Faith took his hand.

Four minutes isn’t all that long but it was all they had. Danny stayed quiet, for once, and she leaned in closer. If the music hadn’t been so loud, his heartbeat would have drowned out the world. Danny McReid was this super popular, super cute, star quarterback but around Faith? Nah. He was just a boy with a ridiculous crush, desperate to impress and clumsy with his heart.

When she pulled away, her lips barely brushed his cheek.

( 3 )

Danny was so in love with her.

He knew he’d fallen too fast, too much and Faith wasn’t like that. She was complicated and guarded and smart. She was a genius. His heart had never been anywhere but his sleeve and from the second they’d connected, he’d been all in.

Faith wasn’t like that. But he didn’t care.

It was obvious how he felt about her, he’d tell anyone who asked- not that they’d need to ask. She was his girlfriend now and he had already planned out the rest of their lives. Well, enough that he knew he wanted her there. He saw a future with her, no matter what. They were meant to be. She’d tell him that was ridiculous. She did.

There were moments like this though... Quiet, private, intimate moments like this when she snuck into his room after midnight and curled into his arms while he was still half asleep. Her breathing would slow pretty fast as she drifted off, safe and warm and so much smaller than she’d ever been.

Vulnerable. Faith Hunter was never vulnerable but in moments like this, Danny thought that maybe she was as close to it as she’d get. He always wanted to be this safe place for her. He wanted to be there, always. Strong and steady and solid. There.

Danny would kiss her forehead or he’d kiss the back of her hand and whisper that he loved her. Or good night, or sweet dreams.

This was something that was just theirs. Secret. Even after they broke up, even after his world was turned upside down, he still let her in and he still held her close and sometimes, when he was sure she was asleep, he’s whisper that he loved her still.

( 4 )

He remembers their last kiss.

Well, it wasn’t their last kiss but it was. It was the last kiss they’d ever have as Danny-and-Faith, freshly graduated seniors living in L.A, eating breakfast in bed and ignoring the rest of the world. Danny-and-Faith. Perfect.

Nothing’s perfect though. He hadn’t known that then, had been too naive and too pushy and too much. It was like the calm before the storm, before the fight, before he stormed out and punched walls and broke his own heart just as much as she did.

Broke her heart.

Something was wrong. Faith wasn’t happy in L.A. Their was something between them that Danny had been ignoring for, god, he didn’t know how long. Just...something. Someone. He didn’t want to know, he didn’t want anything to change. He loved her, he loved her so much.

This was supposed to be perfect.

They’d kissed, like they always kissed but he was holding onto her too tightly. Maybe that had always been the problem. Danny pressed his forehead against hers, holding his breath, trying to remember this moment. Trying to hold onto her. Why did it feel like he had to hold onto her?

Danny kissed her again, and again, and again.

It didn’t stop it from ending.

( 5 )

Daniel McReid sits at the far right corner of the bar. It’s dingy and badly lit but no one talks to him and the bartender is happy to refill his glass. His leather jacket is worn and he hasn’t shaved in, well, too long. If his mom was here she’d definitely have something to say about it.

If she was here.

Danny finished his drink. The bartender had refilled it before he even had to ask.

His phone was switched off- it was always switched off these days. He couldn’t handle the missed calls and worried messages from Carrie and Ruby. From Ryan. Cole, even. He especially couldn’t handle the messages from Shelley Pierce.

And then there were the messages he had saved on there; the ones that were too damn painful to see again. The temptation to read, to listen, over and over much too strong.

He was spinning his wedding ring around his finger when he heard the door to the place open and close. Of course he didn’t look up.

Danny had been a hunter for years now. Well, he was retired now- quit, actually- but his instincts were easily dulled by the alcohol. He didn’t care to look up much anymore.

They’d both been hunters, actually. A real team. He’d trained her up and she’d kept him smiling. He’d never missed a horoscope either.

“Are you attempting to drink yourself into an early grave?”

Well, hell. This one he hadn’t seen coming.

“What? Did Carrie track you down?” It’s not the hello she deserves but he can’t help it. He’s not exactly a people person anymore.

“I wasn’t living off the grid, Daniel.” Faith Hunter took the seat beside him and he finally looked up.

She doesn’t say that she’s sorry for his loss, she already had to do that at his mom’s funeral and Danny couldn’t stomach hearing it again. Not about his wife. Not about his Brianna.

The ring on Faith’s finger is a familiar blue; she never did let a vampire mess with her again after what had happened what felt like a lifetime ago in Havensdale Valley. He almost smiled at that.

“What are you doing here?”

“Having a drink.”

“Funny.”

“When was the last time you shaved?”

A sound that almost sounded like a laugh escaped him. Danny pushed himself off the bar stool then. He paused, lingered too long, didn’t say enough- didn’t say anything. Shutting up, just like she liked. He let out a breath (whiskey tinged) before leaning over and kissing her cheek, beard probably scratching her face.

“Goodbye, Faith.”

#prompt #meme: five times kissed #faith #hihrp #otp: do you still love me?#i threw in some aaaaaaaaaangst at the end that you & calla & amy may particularly love/hate fredjik

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nelkitty · 6 years

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The world is hurting me tonight.

There is so much in my head. I've talked it to death. It's one of those few times I feel terribly alone, like either I can't communicate it right or people just... don't see what I see. "It's just the way things are" doesn't mean that things have to stay that way, ours is not a static existence. We create our own realities. The stories we tell describe us to ourselves.

We can do better than this. Or at least, try for something different to this. 'This' clearly isn't working. Even if change is a wildly improbable fantasy, surely it's worth an attempt? A test run? Just to find out. Just to see if maybe something else, something better, is possible.

My heart hurts and I am tired.

#Angst #Aaaaaaaaaangst

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mrskodzuken · 3 years

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Confession

pairing: Kozume Kenma x gn!reader

wc: 0.6k

tw/cw: a poor attempt at writing aaaaaaaaaangst lol, angst to fluff with a bit of crack, implied Nekoma!reader + Nekoma!Kenma, lowkey mutual pining + childhood friends to lovers, some walking out 🤷🏻‍♀️ also another word dump i’m so sorryyyyyyyy 😭😂🙈🤦🏻‍♀️

a/n: for @tetsvhoe’s “Please Don’t Say You Love Me” collab—thanks for letting me join last-minute 😘 I was torn between doing the confession idea and a Kagehina doujinshi-inspired modern fantasy au (wherein cat!reader is being taken care of by Kenma etc etc) tbh. Thank you for beta-reading this wifey @atsuminthe and bb @lumpiang-toge 😘🥰🤟🏻♥️

“Here, Kenma!” You shoved a pink stationery envelope into your best friend’s line of sight—practically blocking the POP’s screen, your hands slightly shaking, cheeks flushing. You couldn’t take a look at his expression so you looked down on your brown school loafers.

Kenma annoyingly paused the game he’s playing on his POP and took it from you. He examined the envelope quietly. “What’s this?”

“That? Um, i-it’s a love letter, silly!” you stuttered, bringing your palm to your face. “Don’t you know what a love letter is? Haven’t you got one before?” This guy…

“O-of course I know what a love letter is, Y/N, I’m not stupid,” Kenma stammered back in defense, his head held further down so as to hide his flustered face. “And it’s addressed… to me?” He turned to look at you for a moment before he spoke. “You... like me?”

You slowly nodded, removing your hand on your blushing face, your eyes looking back at his own golden ones. “I like you, I really like you! Ever since we were kids, I’ve always liked you—more than a friend! I don’t know why… but I’m excited to see you whenever I go to your house to play games with you; even when Tetsu-kun is around, it’s like… it’s like my heart’s bursting whenever I see or talk to you!”

You fiddled with the hem of your school blazer, gripping it a bit tightly. “I know it’s weird getting confessed to by your best friend,” you said, your words laced with nervous laughter. Kenma, on the other hand, just blinked at you, his golden eyes wide and searching for an answer. The tips of his partly-hidden ears as well as his round cheeks were still dusted with red, and his Adam’s apple kept on bobbing; he slowly processed what you’ve said minutes ago to mind.

Embarrassment soon went up to your face and you averted your eyes from looking at him, your throat suddenly drying up. “Well… I guess I’ve said it all, all the pent-up feelings I’ve been hiding inside me for years.” Kenma wanted to say something but you cut him off. “I-it's okay if you'll reject me. It's okay if you don't feel the same. It's fine if you reject my confession I… let’s just forget this conversation never existed, go back to normal, and… I have to go.” You slowly turned on your heels and started walking away, wishing a sinkhole just ate you up already to release you from your own embarrassment and misery.

You didn’t want to hear what he says, what he feels about you, and it’s better that way. It may look like unrequited feelings, a one-sided love… but at least you’ve told him how you feel, that you’re in love with Kenma, your best friend. Best friend.

“I love you!”

You stopped walking abruptly as you heard those three short words being yelled from behind by the same best friend you’ve confessed to minutes ago. You turned around to see him bent down and leaning on his knees, catching up his breath, the redness more evident on his determined face. His golden catlike eyes staring at your own, he opened his mouth to speak.

“L/N Y/N, I love you, ever since you and your family moved to that house next door to us. You saw me peeking through my window and waved at me, and that precious smile’s been deeply engraved into my heart until now. I love your smile, how your eyes twinkle whenever you listen to me talk about video games and volleyball and stuff, your sweet voice—everything! You made me realize how special I am to you, and you to me. I don’t like you… but I love you!” He huffed, his head bowed down. “You… it’s rude to walk away after confessing your love to someone without even listening to their re—“

Kenma was too occupied in his litany that he didn’t notice you sprinting towards him and hugging him tightly, interrupting his monologue. He then heard a faint sniffle and smiled, hugging you back and kissing the side of your head.

“Silly Kenma…”

My Masterlist

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insufficient-focus · 6 years

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Some ships just sucker punch you. That was these two. I’ve posted this shot before but I love it enough to post again.

I heard Cat Power’s version of “Sea of Love” and it instantly became one of Kasari’s songs for Arcann. For context of the song, “day we met” refers to when she saw him again for the first time after Voss.

#swtor #jedi consular #Arcann Tirall #arcann #oc kasari mai #body type 4 #slow burn relationship #it's the dope trope y'all #aaaaaaaaaangst

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ladyvesuvia · 3 years

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The Girl Who Didn’t | [H.P.]

[Navigation] [Masterlist]

Pairing: Harry Potter x Fem!Ghost!Reader

Requested?: No

Summary: As a ghost in Hogwarts, you become friends with The Boy Who Lived.

Words: 4.1k

Song: (originally midnight blue, but i changed my mind halfway jsjdjeia)

Category: angst + fluff?

Warning: ANGST ANGST ANGST AAAAAAAAAANGST

Disclaimer: GIF NOT MINE! I do not own any of the characters in this story.

A/N: Okay, I’m sorry if this is a bit dragging akdnrjwk i made this early in the morning but I fell asleep halfway into making it so I might’ve swirled stuff. There’s not much information about Ghosts either, so I came up with stuff on my own, sorry if it’s kinda confusing!

Hogwarts was bustling with busy shoulders draped in black coats in an assortment of ties hurrying from one place to another, the sound of each step dulling and blending into the background that you’d think it was simply white noise. Among the crowd was Harry Potter, and you had emerged from your usual spot — which was quite far away, and for once you were thankful you didn’t have to walk — to take a good look at what the rest of the ghosts were talking about. They said the boy who survived You-Know-Who’s attempt to slay him was in Hogwarts right now, and you were too curious not to look.

“Well, hello there.” You turn to find Moaning Myrtle hovering nearby. Agh, not again. You wore a boater hat too big for your head, and you instantly wished it was big enough to cover your face, too. “I see you’re searching for someone...” She said in that mildly irritating singsongy voice. Oh, who were you kidding? It was far more irritating than the sound a mandrake made, and you’ve never even heard a mandrake’s wail properly before but you were sure anything was better than Myrtle’s con—

“You’re ignoring me!” Myrtle’s hands were pressed against her pale face, and you hated that you were as pale as she was now. “After all, nobody ever liked Myrtle. No one, no one...”

Not that you held anything against Myrtle, but it was hard to keep up with her very own wails when it was the only personality trait she had. She started to walk away, and you promised yourself that you’d make it up to her as soon as you see the Potter kid. “Okay, bye! See you, Myrtle...” You trailed away awkwardly as you watched her go back to her turf. As much as you didn’t want to go after her later, she still played a part during your first few months of being a ghost. Of course, Nearly Headless Nick was there and a bunch of the Hogwarts Ghosts, but you related to Myrtle much more. Although you hated the idea of going to her bathroom just to assure her you two were on good terms, it was ju—

Merlin, there he was. He isn’t that bad. You had seen pictures of his parents, and you could tell straight away that he was the son of James and Lily Potter. He was a replica of his father with the striking eyes of his mother, and if you were to put it simply, it was like copying your friend’s Divination homework and changing a few words. “Potter,” you say to no one in particular, listening to how it sounded. Sounded alright.

He just got sorted to Gryffindor, and was sitting beside a red-headed boy you did not recognize, but you instantly knew he was a Weasley. And, unsurprisingly, they were seated near Fred and George, the third-year Weasley twins with a lot of tricks up their sleeves. You were older than them for a year, but since you died just less than a year ago, you looked like you could be their classmate.

Well, my work here is done. I’ve seen the Potter kid, time to return. Wait. Right, Myrtle. You let out a exasperated sigh as you drifted into her usual spot.

Around two months have passed — you weren’t certain — since the school year started, and it’s as boring as ever. There were times when you couldn’t remember how you died, but there were also the times when the memory wouldn’t stop playing in your mind. And at some point, one thought finally crossed your mind. Vague question it was, indeed, but it hurt you nonetheless. Would you be spending the rest of your afterlife like this? Even after the planet exploded? Would you roam the vast space just because your soul refused to rest? Just the mere thought of it made you shiver.

The stars were brighter than ever, and they were enough to assure you that it wouldn’t be that bad as long as you commit to solitude. Your friends were at first delighted to find out you’d be staying as a ghost, but it’s like they just forgot you. Just as well, you thought. Would be worse to care for someone knowing you’d be watching them grow old and succumb to an age you’ll never reach.

You didn’t like Myrtle, but at that moment, crying made sense. There was something about letting your guard down under the stars — something tragically beautiful. But you couldn’t stay there too long, you didn’t want to spend all the time you have on Earth while it still existed. You’ll have the stars all to yourself once the world’s gone.

So you made your way down the stairs, pretending you had feet, making up tapping noises with your voice to imitate the sound of footsteps coming down the stairs. The feeling of anguish was still there, but the longing to express it was gone. “Do I hate the world? Absolutely. I mean, not necessarily, but—”

You heard a shuffle of feet downstairs, and just when you were about to investigate, something caught on a piece of fabric and a pair of green eyes stared back at you at the end of the stairs. Harry Potter coming up to the Astronomy Tower? This is ama— no. Oh, Merlin, this was the sort of hype Myrtle felt every time, wasn’t it? Great, I’m literally Myrtle 2.0. right now.

“Are you crying?” He inquired hesitantly, wary that this question might trigger your wails just like it would with Myrtle. “And were you talking to yourself just now?”

“I’m a ghost, genius. ‘Course I was.” You flashed him a friendly smile, which he surprisingly returned. “Talking to myself, I mean. Not crying. What are you doing here at” — you raise your wrist to check the time on your watch, but forgot that it no longer worked, so you looked around the walls that lined the stairs to no avail — “this time?”

He stood there, frozen. Maybe from the cold of winter, but it still wouldn’t change or help the fact that he was freezing. “I thought I was finally gonna start to call Nearly Headless Nick ‘Headless Nick’ instead. Is that an Invisibility Cloak?”

He seemed to be terrified at the mention of the cloak, having shrunken a bit. “Please don’t tell on me.”

“Just be glad it was me instead of Peeves. He was probably just around here, you know. Why are you out and about, anyway?”

Just when he was starting to look more relieved, his posture stiffened. “Oh, well, just looking for. . . Something.” On a different night, you would’ve pestered him into telling you what it was, but you needed time alone as much as he did.

“Can’t argue with that. Well, Harry Potter, it was a delight meeting you.”

“Oh, uh, brilliant. You as well. . .?” His voice trailed off, and it took you a second to gather your thoughts and realize he was asking for your name.

“Y/N. No cool nicknames like the other ghosts. Pretty much just like Peeves. I’ve said a lot already, goodbye now, Potter kid.”

As you passed him down the stairs, you made sure not to let your shoulder touch his. It would make him shiver more than he already was, and you didn’t want that.

The following morning, he kept his eyes on the lookout for you. Of course, you were no where in sight. You were up in the Astronomy Tower, crafting a tiny flower crown with the little materials you could gather near the greenhouses and the forest. It was still Christmas, and the rest of the students for away for the holiday. You had plenty of time to give him a gift. When you twisted the last short stem of the flower and attached it to the preceding one. You knew full well he probably wouldn’t wear it, but it’s the thought that counted.

You found your way to the Gryffindor Tower, even stopping by in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. “Password,” she mouthed lazily.

“Caput Draconis.” As soon as she let you in, the sight of the Gryffindor welcomed you. Seated on the couches were Potter and the youngest Weasley boy, playing something related to Chess.

Weasley looked from his seat, maybe a bit scared at the sight before him. It was as if he saw a ghost. Well, he did.

“Hi,” you croaked. While Weasley still looked astonished, Granger remained casual. It was relieving to be treated as if you were still alive. “Hello, Y/N. What brings you here?”

To bring Potter a gift, you wanted to reply. But then you realized how bad that would look. A gift for Potter, but not for Weasley and Granger? Would look madly suspicious.

“I’m doing ghost things.” You replied defiantly. “Ghost things bordering on Peeves-ish.”

You kept your eyes trained to the fireplace, away from the Potter kid’s gaze. Before Granger could utter another word, you glided back toward the Fat Lady’s portrait, not bothering to go out normally. It was two in the afternoon, so you went and picked more flowers to make two more rushed flower crowns. They weren’t as pretty as the first one you made, but they’ll do. You finished around maybe three and a half, and by then you were already excited to see the stars once again.

As soon as you got inside the Gryffindor Common Room, however, the three of them were no where to be found. They were probably at Hagrid’s, or somewhere else. With a sigh, you left the three flower crowns on one of the low tables, Potter’s on top of the stack.

You thought the awkward exchange in the common room was the last time you’d be in the same room as the Potter kid, but no. He even confided to you an assortment of events in his life, most of which involved Dudley. You’ve had friends before, but none of which like Potter along with Weasley and Granter. They were good company, in contrast to Myrtle who’d bawl over a simple question that had nothing to do with her.

As you lean against a railing, watching the stars twinkle as if the lot of you knew a secret nobody else didn’t. “So what’s it like?” Potter asked, setting down on the floor, his legs crossed. “Being a ghost, I mean. No offense.”

“None taken,” you assured. “Well, it’s weird. That’s one way to describe it. But another weird thing is knowing that even after everyone ceases to exist, I’ll still roam this place. It sounds bad, sure, but it also means that the stars will take good care of me.”

You sat just near him, careful not to let your shoulders bump. You felt like you knew his next question, he seemed to be debating himself whether or not he should ask it. This was a funny sight, you thought. The Boy Who Lived’s gonna ask me how I died.

“I don’t know how I died,” I blurted out, not looking at his face as I said so. “I mean, sometimes I remember it. Sometimes I just don’t, Potter kid.”

“I’d really like it if you just called me Harry.”

“Alright, Harry Potter.”

“Just Harry.”

“Okay, just Harry it is.”

You couldn’t really feel the wind, but by the way he was shivering, you could tell he’d do better with distance. Standing up, you carefully inched away from him to at least deduct the cold he was feeling.

“Did you... Get the flower crown?”

“That was from you?” He looked up from the floor.

“Yeah, why?”

“Sorry, Fred and George put it on for the rest of the day before I could even get a good look at at least one of them. Lee Jordan wore the third one.”

“That’s okay, I would’ve loved to see them parading it, though.”

“Trust me, you wouldn’t.”

Both of you let out genuine giggles, but making an effort to keep it down as to not attract attention from Filch or Peeves or literally anyone else. Mrs. Norris could be making her way up the stairs right now, ready to snitch on the two of you. You waited for some figure to emerge from the stairs, but none seemed to know anyone was up here. The two of you laughed out loud again, and you couldn’t get the image of the twins and Lee Jordan walking around in the silly flower crowns you made.

Up in the Astronomy Tower, two curious young children were out and about. One of which was in danger of an unknown entity at Hogwarts, while one was in danger of oblivion. There was little to be said about the two, only that their pairing was a fascinating and lonesome combination — The Boy Who Lived and the Girl Who Didn’t.

•———

Two years have passed, and you didn’t even know where to begin to explain the many things that happened at Hogwarts surrounding Harry. First, there was the truth about Professor Quirrell. You shudder at the thought that you had almost pulled off his turban in a dare from a few years back. On the rare in-betweens, Malfoy had found your friendship with Harry something comedic. “Last resort’s a ghost, eh, Potter?” But his taunts were as tiny as the dung beetles that crawled the castle’s walls. Then on their second year, Harry and Ron came flying in a car and crashed into the Whomping Willow. Then came Harry’s big fan, Colin Creevey. Throughout the school year, you had taken a liking into referring to him as Colin Creepy and kept Harry away from him as much as you could. You could still remember three of your best friends attending Nearly Headless Nick’s party, and how you let them sneak out. T’was fun until everyone started to suspect Harry was the Heir of Slytherin.

“Rubbish!” You had exclaimed. “They’re making assumptions just because you speak Parseltongue and because you’re always at the scene of the crime? Oh—wait, no, I see it now. This is bad. Like, really bad.”

As much as eventful your afterlife was, you couldn’t help but still feel jealous about your friends. You were glad they were there, and that it was as if you were the same age as they are now. Why did you die? And then the answer hit you square in the face.

Back in 1990, on the night you died, you were up in the Astronomy Tower with your best friend, arguing about some stupid homework.

“It’s not that hard! I told you to let me handle the rest. You just have to look for sources. I’ve made the paragraph already, what do you not understand?” She was waving the three sheets of paper you’ve filled with your handwriting. You worked hard on that in hopes of cheering her up. Well, that went out of the window.

“I’m sorry, okay? You seemed stress and I didn’t want you to overdo yourself. I just wanted to he—”

“The deadline is tomorrow.” Her teeth was painfully gritted. “And we don’t have a single source because you refused to do the task I gave you.”

“This is group work! We should be doing it together.”

“Exactly, and that’s why I specifically asked you to do the one thing I told you to! You know what? Do better.” She ripped the papers in half, throwing it away with the wind, earning a pained squeal from you. You try to reach out to it, your toes barely on the floor. You tried to reach out for your wand, but it wasn’t there with you. One half of one of the papers was flying close by. If you just reached. . . Just closer. . .

“Y/N!” Your best friend had called out as you plummeted to the ground. Many have thought you would survive. Unfortunately, Madam Pomfrey’s abilities can’t bring the dead back to life.

“Y/N,” Harry called, and you got the feeling that maybe this isn’t the first time he called you. “We’re going to Hagrid’s, would you like to come along?”

“I can’t— Sorry, can’t today. Will do some. . . Something.” And just like that, you left the three of them dumbfounded. You went to the Y/H Common Room, surprised that you could even remember it now. You died without your house tie, so whenever you forgot about your own identity, you didn’t even have a tie to know you were someone. But now, everything was clear. You were wiped from some people’s memory, so your stay as a ghost at Hogwarts would be bearable. Didn’t really help. You wish you could remember your friends from Y/H and that they could remember you as well.

There were five people in the Common Room, and one of them was the girl from your memory. Your best friend. It was weird seeing her like this after you saw her in hysterics. “May I help you?” Another student asked. Everyone in the room was strangely familiar, but you did not know their named.

“Not at all,” you replied. They were exchanging glances now, probably thinking she was gonna bug them out. You take in the sweep of familiar faces and let out a sigh. Finally, your eyes landed on your best friend. She did not know any of the events that transpired, but you knew it’d be best to forgive her. And with one final glance at the room itself, you bowed. “Goodbye.”

As you walked away, you could swear you heard someone say ‘Ghosts, am I right?’ But it didn’t matter, you’ve made your peace.

That night, you met up with Harry again up in the Astronomy Tower. He even brought the chess set him and Ron used to play with along with his new broom. “It’s called a Firebolt,” he said, showing you every fascinating detail about it. “We don’t know who sent it, but Hermione thinks it’s Black.”

“Sirius Black? The one who escaped from Azkaban?” You flinched and your eyes filled with terror as he held up the broom to you.

“Oh, come on now, where would Black even get a broom as fine as this if he just got out of prison?”

“Maybe it’s fake?”

“Fake?” He whined, cradling the Firebolt in his arms. “It’s perfect.”

You let out a low chuckle as you watched him put it down and walk around the Astronomy Tower.

“I have something to tell you.” The two of you said, exactly at the same time, a grin starting to form on his face. This can’t be good.

“You go first,” he said as he continued to walk around until he was standing right in front of your glowing figure.

“Oh, wow, alright then.” You clear your throat. If you could breathe, you would’ve been heaving right now. “I think I’m ready to. . . Move on.”

His smile faltered, all the color in his face drained. “What d’you mean?”

“I’m gonna ask Dumbledore if it’s possible for a ghost to — please don’t laugh — die? I don’t know if there’s a term for it. I just hope it’s possible.”

He hated how selfish his thoughts were, hated that he hoped it wasn’t possible. Why right now? Why suddenly?

“So, yeah. That’s that.” You smile at him, oblivious to the tears he’s trying to hold back. “What were you gonna tell me?”

“I have to go, can’t really be out at this hour with Black on the lose.” His voice sounded hoarse, but he hurriedly picked up his Firebolt, threw on his Invisibility Cloak, and left.

•———

The very next day, you had already consulted Dumbledore. He had confirmed that it would be difficult — a ghost remains in a specific place is because of a certain affinity and attachment to it, but what made it possible was your clean slate. You had no grudges anymore, unlike Nearly Headless Nick, who still wasn’t satisfied with his failed beheading, unlike Moaning Myrtle who still wished for revenge, unlike the other House Ghosts. It was said that Ghosts were simply afraid of death. And that’s what made you different, you no longer feared what was ahead. It didn’t matter, because you’ve forgiven yourself and everyone else. “Thank you, Professor.”

As soon as you stepped out of his office, your eyes once again met the most familiar pair of green eyes. “I just wanted to say that—” He started off strong, having spoken with such vigor, but he seemed to have lost the words.

His shoulders fell. “That I’m happy for you and I’ll miss you.”

“Oh,” you croaked. His hair was more untamed than it had ever been. “I’ll miss you guys too.”

“Erm — Guys?”

“Ron and Hermione.”

“Oh, right.”

“Well, I’ll miss you especially.”

“Good,” he cleared his throat, not daring to meet your eyes. After a long breath, he dared to meet your eyes again, and tears started to pour down his cheeks. “You’ve already thought about this, haven’t you?”

As much as you wanted to deny it, you’ve always wanted to move on. You hated the thought of being alone once the world stops moving. “Yes.”

“Of course. I’ll... Give you space for now.”

“No, don’t do that. It’s the least that I need you to do.” Hesitantly, you raise your transparent hand to his cheek. Surprisingly, he didn’t flinch. “I’m sorry I’m cold.”

“Don’t say sorry for that.” He sounded offended that you would even think that way, you liked that about him. You liked everything about this boy. As you two spent the rest of the week together, you made arrangements. Dumbledore gave you an hourglass the size of your hand, and by the time the last grain of sand falls, you’d cease to exist. Of course, Harry wished that the said last grain of sand would magically stick on the surface of the glass and not fall.

Hermione and Ron also accompanied you, and since you couldn’t eat anything, you all spent time hanging out around the campus instead.

Right now, you were next to Harry, the two of you leaning against the open balcony of the Astronomy Tower, the hourglass clutched tightly in your hand. “I don’t really know what happens after people die but I do hope we get reborn. Wouldn’t it be a bummer if you only had one chance to experience life?”

You looked up at the stars, observing how they twinkled. “Harry, if you were to be born again, would you still want to be a wizard?”

“I don’t mind, as long as we meet again the next time I’m born. Can you promise me that if, by chance, reincarnation was true, that we’d meet again? With both of us alive?”

“I’d love that.” You smiled, hoping for once that time would stand still and that you’d be in your own body, breathing the same air as he was. But the sand in your hourglass was running out, you were never really good at estimation, but if this was the last ten seconds you’d spend with him, then...

You raise the hourglass in your hand, showing it to him, hastily told him, “I love you,” and pressed your icy lips against his, and then you fade into nothingness. That was the warmest you’ve ever felt in a long time, and the safest. Yes, Harry, I promise we’ll meet again.

It was the warmest he had ever felt, too. By the moment he returned to the Gryffindor Common Room, Hermione ran to Harry with her arms opened wide, pulling him in. “Oh, Harry!” She had been crying too.

Ron didn’t want to show it, but his eyes were red as well, and he patted Harry’s back, giving him the best comfort he could provide.

A year has passed, and as the Tri-wizard Tournament loomed closer, and his friendship with Ron had been jeopardized, he held onto a necklace he made with the remaining shard from the shattered hourglass inside a pendant. He pressed his lips against it, knowing that you would’ve been there for him when nobody was. He kept old pictures of you he got from previous yearbooks from when you were still alive, finding the way you smile comforting and therapeutic.

As he stepped in front of the judges for the first task, he knew you would’ve been proud with how he fought the Horntail. That night, as he looked up at the sky from his view up in the Astronomy Tower, he waved to the stars with a bright smile plastered on his lips.

Taglist: @catching-the-train-to-hogwarts

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