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hoodharlow · 2 years

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Nico’s Berry First Birthday

part 1

AN: idk what to say lol. This was supposed to be posted MONTHS ago and I never did lol. Gif from @calmfolklore from this gifset

Requested? No

Warnings: sad dad!Cal and mentions of abandonment, Mitchy Collins ruining our baby's birthday

Word Count: 3.1k words

“Nico, c’mon, go with grandma I’m not going to be long.” Calum said, trying to pry off his now one year old daughter.

But she wouldn’t budge. She tightened her grip around his neck, nearly choking him. He tried everything, even tickling her. But that only annoyed her, and the last thing he wanted to do was get her upset on her birthday. On the other hand he didn’t want to bring her to the interviews he had to do. One thing he learned from last week’s promo was that even Nico can get annoyed with watching Encanto ten times in a row. He also doesn’t want Nico anywhere near James Cordon because he knew that James would annoy his kid and ruin her mood for the rest of the day.

“Bring the little demon, we’re already late.” Ashton called from the driveway gate.

“Ah!” Nico frowned when she heard Ashton call her a demon. She leaned over and smacked the top of his head.

Calum rolled his eyes. “Shit like that is why she doesn’t like you mate.” He told Ashton as he unlocked the car to get Nico in. He buckled her in and whispered to her, “You know he doesn’t mean it.”

The one year old looked up at the sun roof, annoyed. It was her version of rolling her eyes since she hadn’t mastered her eye rolls yet. For Calum’s sake he hoped she didn’t until she was at least fifty.

He turned to his mom. “We’ll be back in a few. Think you can hold down the fort?” He asked her.

“Of course, darlin'." Joy said.

“I left a list of all the people that are gonna come by. If anything happens or something gets mixed up just call me. I also left—”

“Just go. We’ll be fine.”

Calum nodded and gave Joy a side hug. He rounded over to the driver’s side. He opened the gate and back out of the gate. He waved to his mom as he followed Micheal’s car to James’ studio. They lucked out and were able to push back recording because the guests had something else to do in the evening.

For which Calum was grateful because after the band’s appearance, they had to do another interview, and after that interview he had to rush home to get him and Nico ready for her birthday party. Though he silently cursed at the band’s management for getting them interviews on Nico’s birthday.

A familiar olive green Jeep was parked in the studio.

It was Alexis Ximena’s.

Calum rested his head on the steering wheel when he parked next to Michael. He wasn’t ready to see her. Last night ended on an awkward note. When they decided to take things to her bedroom, they didn’t go as far as they hoped. Dr. Manny walked in on them while Calum’s face was buried in between Alexis Ximena’s thighs. It was the most awkward moment of his life. And to make matters worse Dr. Manny was carrying Nico. Not only did his daughter’s pediatrician see him doing things with HIS daughter, but Calum managed to traumatize his own daughter.

Ashton knocked on his window, making him look up. He tapped his wrist, as if he had a watch, motioning Calum to hurry up. Calum flipped him off and begrudgingly got out of the car. He unbuckled Nico and handed her to Ashton, so he could get her things from the trunk.

They both shared an uncomfortable look, but Nico allowed Ashton to hold her. They watched Calum grab the stroller and place everything the one year old could need, stuffing it in the bottom basket of the stroller. Ashton passed Nico back to him so he could buckle her in her stroller.

He draped her blanket over the stroller, blocking the bright sun for Nico. He pushed the stroller and followed Ashton where Michael and Luke were. A backstage crew member approached them and guided them to their greenroom.

Calum had never been so happy to see goldfish snacks. He grabbed all of the packets and some of the snacks provided and stuffed them in Nico’s backpack because he didn’t pack any for her since she was supposed to stay with his parents and Mali. He also grabbed a few water bottles in case she got thirsty.

He unfastened Nico from her stroller and sat her down next to him. He dug in her backpack, thankful that he had packed her an extra pair of shoes because they left without putting on shoes on her. He pulled out a pair of white Nike Cortez with a pink swish that matched her pink Nike tracksuit.

“You have some fucking nerve showing you’re face here.” Calum heard Michael say.

He looked over his shoulder and found Alexis Ximena standing at the entrance wide eyed and confused.

“What did I do?” She asked, surprised.

“You were in The Batman!” Michael exclaimed.

“I never said I wasn’t.”

“But you never said you were.”

Alexis Ximena rolled her eyes and pushed past him, making her way to Nico. The one year excitedly made grabby hands at her. Alexis Ximena picked her up and kissed her cheeks.

“Happy birthday!” she sang to her. She turned to Calum. “Why is your daughter dressed like Ruth Rose?”

“Who?” He asked, taking Nico back in his arms because she took her shoe off.

“From the ‘A-Z Mysteries’, she’s one of the main characters and she always wore monochromatic outfits.” she explained.

Calum furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, not knowing what she was talking about.

“Forget it.” she waved him off. She looked down at Nico and giggled. “She took her other shoe off.”

Calum shook his head, “you’ve got to be shitting me Nico.”

By 2pm, Nico’s party was in full swing. Calum felt proud that the party came out pretty nicely. He had gone all out with strawberry decorations as it was Nico’s favorite fruit. From strawberry balloon arches to strawberry based desserts. There was a taquero stationed next to the makeshift bar and dessert table. Michael was in the backyard manning the DJ booth playing various genres of kids songs.

“No,” Calum told Nico sternly, pushing the fresas con crema out of her reach.

The one year old frowned. Nico bent sideways trying to get off her high chair. But she couldn’t. Out of anger, she leaned forward and swiped the plate of tacos Calum got for them to share on the ground. She clapped happily when Duke trotted over and ate the food. She stopped then looked at him, making pleading eyes and gesturing to the cup of fresas con crema.

"No." He repeated. He got up from the stool next to her and went to grab a beer.

"Has she eaten?" Joy asked him as she fixed the gift table when he passed her.

"No," he sighed. "She's being a little shit."

"Take one to know one, darling." She said nonchalantly.

"Oi!" He blinked at her, surprised at her comment.

"When you were her age all you wanted to eat was fairy bread and Tiny Teddies."

"Well you did make the best fairy bread."

“I’m aware.” She smiled proudly. She looked around, making sure no one was close.

Calum knew that look. She was about to have a serious talk with him or she was going to interrogate him about something Mali told her.

Her smile softened,“Mali mentioned Alexis was coming.”

Calum blinked in surprise, remembering when Aaliyah introduced them almost two years ago when they were at FireFight Australia. “You remember Alex?”

“Of course I do. She’s a nice girl. She was in Sydney a few months back and I ran into her and she invited me to lunch. So how serious is it?"

The doorbell rang before he could answer her.

"I'll get it." He announced, rushing over to the front door.

Calum got nervous hoping it was Alexis Ximena. He walked inside and did a quick u-turn to the kitchen and took the fresas con crema cup away in case Nico tried to make someone give her the cup. He quickly checked himself in the mirror by the front door. He smiled brightly when he opened the door but quickly dropped his smile when he saw it was just Ashton and Marina.

"Oh it's you." He said, stepping aside to let them in.

"Hello to you too." Ashton grumbled.

"Where's the birthday girl?" Marina asked Calum.

"In the kitchen." he answered

He took the present Marina had in her hand and led her and Ashton to the kitchen. Nico sat sadly on her high chair, but she smiled brightly at Marina. She made grabby hands at her.

“Hi birthday girl.” Marina said softly. She approached Nico and let her touch her growing belly. She giggled when Nico’s eyes widened when the baby kicked her hand. “The baby says happy birthday too.”

He eyed Marina's belly and felt nauseous. It was a reminder of what he missed. It was a part of Nico that he never got to see or experience since he never saw Loli pregnant. He never got to see Nico through the ultrasound or hear her heartbeat or feel her kick Loli's belly. It was almost a whole year that he missed. Part of him wished he could turn back time and be there for Loli, for his daughter, but it was impossible. At least he got to see her now and he wouldn't give that up.

Calum wandered out to the yard and got more food before joining his parents, Mali, Luke, and Elijah were. He fell into conversation, nodding along to whatever they were talking about while he ate. He would look over to the kitchen where Marina had.

"¡Feliz Cumple!" He heard Alexis Ximena tell Nico.

Before he could even turn around to head back inside, Luke pushed past him. He rolled his eyes as his best friend went over to greet Aaliyah's family as if he was the host of the party. He awkwardly waited for Luke to finish greeting Aaliyah’s family when he heard Nico’s giggles. He looked behind him and saw Alexis Ximena showing her a stuffed crocodile.

Nico kicked her feet excitedly as Alexis Ximena made the stuffed crocodile dance on the table of Nico’s high chair. Calum blinked in surprise hearing her speak a nearly perfect Australian accent as she talked to Nico. He smiled to himself when his one year old took the stuffed crocodile and hugged it tightly.

“Ah!” Nico motioned to Alexis Ximena to give her the cup of fresas con crema.

“No, Nico.” Calum said, grabbing the cup. “You haven’t eaten.”

Nico frowned and pushed the crocodile on the ground.

“Nico!” he said sternly, but in a hush tone so he wouldn’t draw attention to them.

Alexis Ximena picked up the stuffed crocodile and handed it back to Nico. She stood up giving Calum a chance to take her in. She was obviously overdressed, dressed to the nines in a short black dress and tall platform heels. She had a good three inches on him in those heels.

“Why is she dressed like Strawberry Shortcake?” She asked him, gesturing to Nico who babbled to her crocodile.

“She’s not dressed like cake?”

“No,” she shook her head. “The cartoon.”

“There’s a cartoon about cake?”

“No menso, hold on.” She pulled out her phone and quickly typed. “You have the worst wi—oh it loaded. Here.” She showed him her phone screen.

There were images of a cartoon little girl dressed in a strawberry hat, denim overalls with a striped pink and white long sleeve under and yellow shoes. Calum looked over to Nico and she wore almost the same thing except, “Nico’s wearing a bucket hat and a denim dress. Not to mention, she has gold Vans. Obviously it’s not the same. Maybe they copied Nico.”

“The show came out in 2003.”

“Oh, good to know they support the LGBTQ community.”

“You’re a fucking smart ass. You and that mouth of yours are a deadly weapon.”

“You would know.” Calum smirked at her.

Clearly flustered, Alexis Ximena announced. “I’m going to get food.”

She turned on her heel almost immediately and went out into the backyard to get in line for food. After she went up where Aaliyah was and greeted Fiona and Marina. They all looked at her with knowing grins.

“What?”

“What?” the three said in unison.

“What was that back there?” Fiona asked, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Where’s Ethan? You usually use him as an excuse to hang out with Michael.” Alexis Ximena smiled innocently.

“Isn’t that what you did with Nico?” Marina asked before dipping her taco in consomé.

Alexis Ximena turned to Aaliyah. “You told them?!”

“Of course I did.” Aaliyah said “Now don’t say anything about sitting on Cal’s face because your future mother in law is walking over.”

“I wasn’t si— Hi Mrs. Hood!”

***

Calum looked around for Alexis Ximena. He overheard Aaliyah tell Luke that she had a work dinner and he hoped that he hadn’t missed her before she left. He was also keeping an eye on Mitchy, who showed up tipsy and crashed Nico’s birthday party.

To say that Mitchy was Nico’s least favorite person was an understatement. The one year old would rather spend the day getting shots than be near him which was why Calum didn’t invite him to the party.

“You didn’t bring Nico a present.” Calum heard Ethan tell Mitchy.

“And what are you the fucking present police?” The grown man snapped at Ethan as he grabbed a beer from the cooler.

“Butthead.” Ethan muttered before grabbing a juicebox.

Calum sighed and walked over to Mitchy. “Mate, you can’t talk to a kid like that.”

“He’s a fucking dick!”

“He’s two!” He snapped, swiping his face in frustration. “This is why I didn’t invite you. You’re ruining my kid’s party. Nico doesn’t even like you.”

“What are you talking about? Nora likes me. Just watch,” Mitchy walked over to Alexis Ximena who was building a puzzle with Nico. “Ayo Nora!”

Mitchy staggered towards them with Calum calling him to stop. He pulled Nico away from Alexis Ximena and tried to pick her up, but he stumbled and fell, nearly falling on top of the one year old.

Calum couldn’t process anything other than Nico’s arms around his legs. She wailed. He picked her up, “Get him out of my fucking house.” he angrily told Luke and Ashton before ducking inside.

He brought them to the living room and sat on the one person couch. He rubbed Nico’s back, trying to calm her down as she cried inconsolably. He held her close, apologizing for not kicking Mitchy out sooner. He heard footsteps approaching them.

“Cal, I’m so sorry.” Alexis Ximena began sitting on the coffee table across from them. “I was caught off guard and next thing I knew that guy was on the ground and Nico ran to you. I should have been more vigilant. This is my—”

“Alex, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Calum said, wiping a few stray tears off Nico’s cheeks. He maneuvered her so she sat facing Alexis Ximena.

“I guess but I really do feel bad. I should have been quicker or… I don’t know. I could have done something.”

“You should have picked up a tree and swung it at him like in that show where you had a little brother who did that.”

“You watched Gone?”

“Yeah a while ago Aaliyah made us watch it. But Nico saw a banner of it and recognized you when I was looking for Sesame Street on HBO Max. So we started watching it.”

“Sure,” Alexis Ximena nodded, playfully rolling her eyes. Her eyebrows furrowed as she looked around them. “Where’s Nico?”

Calum cursed and jumped from the couch. Nico’s giggles and Duke’s yips were heard from the study. Him and Alexis Ximena followed the sound and found Nico waddling toward Duke, who was behind the doggy door. She giggled and clapped her hands.

Calum’s hand found Alexis Ximena’s. “She’s walking.” He whispered, almost laughing. A few tears rolled down his cheeks. “My baby is walking.”

Due to their height difference, Alexis Ximena couldn't lean into him, but Calum wrapped his arm around her back as she placed her arm over his shoulders. They stood quietly watching Nico with Duke, but they were soon interrupted by Alexis Ximena’s phone.

“Shit” she said, pulling away from him to rummage through her bag. She pulled it out and answered.

Nico finally realized it wasn’t just her and Duke, so she motioned Calum to play with them. He sat down next to the door frame and reached for a soft ball for her to toss to Duke.

Calum watched Alexis Ximena pace around with an annoyed expression on her face as she listened to whoever was on the other end. She bid them goodbye and sighed frustratedly, shoving her phone back in her bag.

“Everything alright?” Calum asked, handing the ball to Nico, who went to hand it to Alexis Ximena.

“My realtor just called me to say that none of the places I was looking into allowed dogs. If they did, they would have to weigh less than forty pounds. Bernie weighs one-fifteen.” She said, sitting next to him.

“You know I was joking yesterday when I teased you about living with Dr. Manny.”

“I know, I’ve been looking for a place for a while now. Especially with now that Bernie is huge. We don’t fit with my dad. So I'm looking for a place so me and Aaliyah can finally live together like we planned our senior year when I booked ‘Gone.’”

“Or you could move in with us.” He offered. “Our dogs get along, my house is pretty big so you wouldn’t have to worry about Bernie feeling like he has no space.”

“I can’t accept,” she said, shaking her head. “Nico’s grandparents live next door. What would they think about someone that’s not their daughter around their granddaughter.”

“Me letting them near Nico is just a courtesy. Legally speaking, they’re not her grandparents.”

“What do you mean?”

“When Loli dropped off Nico, she signed off any right she had, including her parents claiming her as their grandkid. But I’m not an arsehole, so I let her parents see Nico. Sometimes they watch her when I go run an errand, but Loli is completely out of the picture, especially after what went down a few months back.”

“Oh…”

“So you have nothing to worry about.”

Alexis Ximena nodded. She sat quietly and watched Nico and Calum. She did like spending time with them. Yesterday gave her hope for her and Calum, but she knew better than to get her hopes up. Even more if she was going to live with them.

“Fine, but I’m going to need two rooms.”

“Why two?”

“Where do you think my clothes and shoes are gonna go?”

Taglist: @f-mu @calumscalm @karajaynetoday @wastelandcth @cherryxcreme @ashtonsunflower @calpops @idontneedanyone @findingliam-o @5-secondsofcolor @mulletcal @polycashton @sunshinebabycal-deactivated2021 @another-lonely-heart @fckingpernico @2fangirl4u @suchalonelysunflower @hoodhoran @aquarius-hood1996 @in-superbloom

Special guests: @twilightmomentswithyou @sensitivecth

#dad!cal #one day at a time #calum hood fluff #calum hood fanfic #calum hood imagine #calum hood one shot #calum hood one shots #calum hood fan fic #calum hood series #calum hood smut #calum hood fan fiction #calum hood imagines #calum hood fic

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fuckyeahdindjarin · 7 months

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alright i’m trying this again because tumblr’s an ah

you reblogged a gifset a few days ago (that scene where joel asks for tommy’s gun because “maria took mine you know 😔” and it gave me a few ideas over joel and maria’a relationship.

it’s definitely a very complex one, they’re both very wary of one another and they have strong personalities so it’s an issue when they both want to impose what they think is right. but either way, they try, they’re civil towards each other for the sake of tommy.

also i feel like they’re both respectful just because they know how much the other means to tommy. maria has her reasons not to trust joel but she’s heard from countless stories that it’s always been joel and tommy against the world whether it was before the o it break or right after. and joel can’t deny how happy his brother looks with his wife.

so yeah, a lot of respect but it will never go over cordiality. but then they both have one very important thing in common which i feel like it would lead them to bond at some point: they both know the pain of losing your own child. of course everyone in the post-outbreak world has a sense of loss, everyone has lost somebody but it’s different. tommy and ellie can relate on some level because they’ve lost people too but even if tommy mourns for sarah, it’s always gonna be different than the way joel mourns for her. and it’s something maria can understand a little bit more. yes, she has never known sarah and has no connection to her apart from the stories she’s heard but she knows all too well the pain of a parent having their own child taken from them so violently.

so maybe joel’s depressed because sarah’s death anniversary (or whatever) is coming around and neither ellie or tommy can do anything. there’s nothing to say, nothing to do so they just…try to give him space (and knowing joel, he’s probably shutting himself off even more during that time). of course, he tries to power through, act all tough and drown his sorrows in alcohol. and tommy’s worried, he knows joel, he’s still traumatized from the events that followed sarah’s death and it ends up reaching maria. he shares his worries, tells her that joel acts tough and like he’s handling it even when he’s falling apart. he doesn’t say all that thinking maria would do something about it, it’s more a “this is really worrying me and i need to vent a little”

but maria finds joel one night. maybe they all had dinner together, joel stepped outside while tommy and ellie got out some board game and maria prepared some coffee for everyone. she goes to joel, just to give him the coffee but instead of leaving she stays, she’s unsure and it’s a little bit awkward because what is she supposed to say?

but still, she finds a way to introduce the topic. she talks about kevin and joel can see that pain he feels reflecting in her eyes. it’s a shock, something unexpected because it’s the first time since tess that he feels truly understood.

she isn’t just maria—his sister-in-law he pretty much tolerated—she’s a mother who lost her child just as violently as he lost his and she knows, she understands that suffering he can’t put words on because no words in any language ever are enough to describe it.

it’s pretty quiet, the kind of moment where two people are comforting one another just by being here. but it definitely changes things. they both soften, realizing that they’re not the walls they put up in order to survive and they can somehow rely on the other to understand the pain.

from that one night, it evolves. probably more quiet nights, some where they talk a little— maria mentions her fears as a new mother, joel shares how terrified he is that ellie ends up like sarah— and although they’re not best friends by the end of it, they still care immensely about one another. they’re family after all 🥹

Sweet anon, did you just - drop a heartachingly gentle and brilliant incisive look into Joel and Maria's relationship with no warning at all? Not even a peep of a warning??

This was so beautifully thought out and analysed. I am in awe and I have no notes - you captured that antagonism and complexity between those two so well. Thank you for sharing this, I haven't written much of Maria into Seams so far, and when I do, I can only hope I'll be able to capture the dynamics half as well as you did ❤️

#fuckyeahseams #fuckyeahasks #joel miller #maria miller

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woodsfae · 2 years

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Babylon 5 S01E04: Infection

First

ToC

Gonna live dangerously and try to gently chew some instant pho while I watch this one! Not-smoking without nicotine patches as an aid is going alright...probably because I don’t particularly feel like going into anaphylaxis again. Whenever I want a cig today, I think about yesterday when I realized I was totally alone in my house and couldn’t breathe and boom, cured for at least an hour.

*hits play*

The subtitles tell me this new person is named Mary-Anne: why doesn’t it always do this?

Earthforce is a hilarious name.

“I’ve come to offer you an adventure, Stephen,” seems ominous, say no.

So you have to declare plants, non-sentient pets, and organic matter. But not sentient pets? What counts? Just with my level of ethological knowledge I’d say all corvids, all pigs, and all parrots at minimum are sentient. Edit: and elephants, apes, octopus, and cetaceans. And meerkats have language so probably them, too. Dunno if that’s what this random cargo bay/customs worker is talking about, though.

Nice of the smuggler to close the staff member’s eyes. So they don’t dry out, right? Not that he’s been hypo’d to death.

Aw, he’s dead. And he’s so new Garibaldi hasn’t even met him yet.

“I’d like you to meet my assistant, the guy who murdered the guy in your morgue right now.”

Living, organic tech is pretty cool. Murder to smuggle them into Babylon 5 still seems kinda excessive. Especially when you only have to wait 48 hours!

Nelson the murderer got lightning’d and now he’s sick, you can tell, cuz he’s sweating and getting an abscess.

Ohhhh no, it’s been a whole 15 hours and Stephen hasn’t made an historic breakthrough yet. One would think an archaeologist would be a little more patient.

Why, exactly, did an archaeologist teach MD Stephen Franklin at Uni? Let alone be an inspiration to him?

Reverse-engineering breakthroughs from a dead civilization for tech that your uneasy allies may or may not already have is a shortcut that makes one’s hands dirty? I don’t understand (yet) and am unsure why Stephen would feel dirty doing it, unless he’s just that anti-corporation. Which, fair. Fuck capitalists.

Nelson is looking R O U G H. I hope the organic tech eats him.

Ah, it’s sorta eatin him, sorta him eatin it.

“Protect who, and from what?” Or...protect what, and from whom? And how is shooting everyone you see fulfilling that goal, ancient, confused Nelsifact?

Ivanova: 1. Mary-Anne: 0.

HAH. @ladymegana told me they give some of the best lines to Ivanova and so far, I agree. What an excellent threat. Completely left up to the imagination but also so explicit. And her physicality is so appealing. She owns her space and has no problems frogmarching people around just with her posture and attitude. A+.

OH dang, Nelsifact is super mutated now. Artifelson? More glorious special effects.

Preeeeetty sure this rando artifact won’t eat Stephen, but I don’t have any gifset-related spoilers as to his survival or the lack thereof. Delenn is the only one I’m Pretty Sure Survives All The Way Through.

edit: I did not realize that was the murder weapon that he picked up. No stephen-eating has occurred.

Ahh, it’s turning Nelsifact into an Ikarran, it’s based on racist ideology, and he’s going to kill everyone who isn’t an Ikarran, which is everyone, since there are no Ikarrans left. Very neat and tidy summary of the progression of facism. First they came for, et cetera.

Yeah, vent that fucker into space.

When did they find out it was named Tular? Or that it had a name at all? Oh well. I like the armor. It looks neat. Too bad it’s attached to a genocidal space fascist.

Yep, this seems like a great way to piss off a fascist. Well done, Sinclair.

“Too tall, too short! Too dark, too light! They were killed, and the killing went on and on and on.”

Yep. This is a little chilling considering how much I’ve seen people advocating for eugenics-by-any-other-name lately. Always disappointing when a critique is as pointed and relevant in the modern day as it was when the critique was created some decades past. Can we march on with some progress yet? Or must we re-hash every advance we’ve ever made?

Nelsifact actor definitely had fun with this. Those dramatically trembling fingers and jaw! And now he’s naked and dead and human!

Oh, alive, actually. And headed to prison for murder. Nice.

The corporation is evil, duh. Dodging the quarantine was still unnecessary, it seems. Greedy mf’ers gonna do dumb things for their greed. Also still a relevant critique.

just figured out why Garibaldi looks familiar. He looks a bit like Bruce Willis in the Fifth Element, I think.

“Those who do not remember the past are doomed to repeat it. [...] It seems no one reads Santayana anymore. You’ll excuse me: if you need me I’ll be over there, getting drunk with the rest of the aliens.”

Ivanova really does have like ten great lines to everyone else’s one.

Good episode. All still fully pertinent today, depressingly. But excellent.

(pho eating and gentle chewing went well.)

Next!

#babylon 5 #social commentary #babylon 5 says nazis fuck off and die #woodsfae b5

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feuqueerfire · 1 year

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Never Let Me Go Ep 7 Live Blogging

Watching this during the break between my lectures. Also I finished watching Strangers From Hell yesterday and I'm still kinda in that mindset, so hopefully this will keep my attention

Just kidding, Part 2 has no subs + they're pillowfighting on the bed in part 1, so I feel awkward watching it in public. Will watch after I get home - now to reblog Strangers From Hell gifsets instead heh

Episode 7: Good Fortune

Part 1

oof pillow fight in bed, can't watch this in uni esp from where I'm sitting

ah fuck i knew someone was gonna see them looming over in bed. at least Palm's mom didn't make it a bib deal

David's gonna proposeeeee

Palm orchestrating a romantic moment with the dirty cheeks - it's giving me War from YinWar flashbacks

damn not Phum also being like hmm you're a good guy, huh but apparently you blamed Nueng for initiating the kiss - he and the viewers have some stuff in common ig

the endless school fighting when it comes to Phum

damn Ben reflecting on his shortcomings that he denied his involvement because he was a coward and selfish; not as brave as Nueng, which he was impressed by. Interesting self-examination because honestly they're pretty rare in BLs

Ben and Chopper convo - I hope Chopper's not the one who released the photos please - I wonder how much Ben knows about

Nueng's really caught up on the fact that Palm brought him to this romantic ass beach that: the server's boyfriend took her on a date, is perfect for proposing, Palm thinks is romantic.

aww proposal

it's good for Nueng and Palm to get to see these happy gay adults in love and thriving

Part 2

oh good there's eng subs now

i'm gonna lose my fucking head it's gonna start rolling palm is giving nueng a foot massage/wash like their power dynamics already goes so hard but this is actually about to send me to an early grave

Palm has been sooo smiley this episode and probably also last episode since getting here

100 baht per day from 500 baht/hour expectations lmfao

plsss quitting after half a day is killing me. things i should've done at my last internship

Nueng straight up asking Palm if he's included in the people Palm loves. ahh them shouting "Please keep Khun Nueng safe" and "{lease keep Palm safe" and "Please keep us safe"

rip both of them getting bad predictions

the reason Palm's father and he owe this family is because they paid for Palm's surgery and "Gave them new lives" but is this new life just for their benefit? no sir you can't lose your life for them.

so true you tell him Nueng that nobody's the owner of his life (did Maggie previously say this too?)

Part 3

so Tanya's still alive as expected, but in critical condition

so did Chopper's father kind of admit that he called the hit on Tanya? or is he somehow a red herring cuz we're getting hints too early?

lmfao they're getting married a day after proposal

So it wasn't chopper who released the photos but Phum paid Palm's basketball friend to do it?

Palm's mom taking a chance again at this gay wedding to ask Palm what's between him and Nueng - "Are you having an interclass romance between a boss and his servant?"

Palm's mom reads him so hard "I can see it from Chiang Mai!" and then asking him if they've kissed

oh now she's talking about why she left his dad and Palm

interesting that she brought up her husband stifling her with his love, wonder if Palm will take something from@that

girl why's Palm smiling like that, does this dumbass already love Nueng?

Part 4

everybody loves this part, i'll watch it at one watch through maybe? it's taking me 3 hours to watch this ep cuz I'm distracted

ahh boyfriends while on the island, I'm assuming we're gonna get some more sadness when they get off the island

kiss ahh

ah fuck palm's father arrested

Got spoiled on before watching:

just a few moments from preview of last ep and a few screenshots on twitter but nothing much

just kidding i went to check the on-air thread for which pars have subs and apparently they're boyfriends in part 4 and have a good kiss

Overall Thoughts:

Thankfully we got to see more of what's going on with people outside of Nueng and Palm's bubble and it's all going to shit while Nueng and Palm are being cute and giggly lol

Thoroughly enjoyed the ep, and stood against my mild obsession with Strangers From Hell.

Fave Scene:

The kiss scene probably? Or is it the pillow fight? Or maybe Palm washing Nueng's feet

Posts I made

None

Most viewers that I saw per part during the premiere:

1: 17k || idk after that and also there may have been missing subs for at least part 2

12 hours later

14 hours later actually

Part 1: 641k || 2: 538k || 3: 423k || 4: 462k

Avg: 516k

Views Tracking (just because I’m curious):

6 days later bc last time was a day late

Ep 1 - 1: 2.074M (+103k) || Avg: 1.322M (+61k) || Max Part: 1

Ep 2 - 1: 1.328k (+56k) || Avg: 1.066M (+49k) || Max Part: 1

Ep 3 - 1: 1.133M (+53k) || Avg: 985k (+50k) || Max Part: 1

Ep 4 - 1: 1.365M (+64k) || Avg: 1.056M (+58k) || Max Part: 1

Ep 5 - 1: 1.175M (+102k) || Avg: 1.024M || Max Part: 1 (also part 3 with kiss has 1.143M)

Ep 6 - 1: 1.219M || Avg: 953k || Max Part: 1

#never let me go #ep by ep commentary

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thedeviljudges · 3 years

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the devil judge + the seven deadly sins

so, i made a gifset about who i thought falls under the seven deadly sins. and also shameless plug - please go reblog the gifset i made for this. took me ages to do.

but i figured i might as well make a meta post to correlate. so this is that post. it’s not everything i could discuss. i could be here for hours more, truth be told. but i hope it’s enough to chew on.

while i feel like a lot of these are going to be a no-brainer, i still want to talk it through because idk. i can, and i want to, and i feel like it, lmao.

gluttony

the elite are privileged and have an opportunity to indulge so much more than the general public, but in many different ways. this is shown throughout the show in the fact that they can indulge on luxury food, have political power, they can make a phone call or snap their fingers and everyone must follow their orders.

and the thing about gluttony is that there is always more to be had. you take a little and then realize it’s not enough and so you ask for more. case in point: in episode 11 when sunah suggests that yohan could be the new president, the current one gives her an alternative: dictatorship. because it wasn’t just enough for him to be an actor and the presiding president.

you’ll also know they turn in on themselves - the two other guys in the elite group. one who owns the company and the other dude - i really cannot remember their names and what they do, but y’all know who i’m talking about. it was so easy for them, when threatened, to fabricate documents to give to yohan about each other in order to get ahead. gluttony is only shared in the relationships we have until one realizes they can take a little extra of the pie. it’s the selfishness of having all the leftovers. gluttony cannot necessarily exist without someone else’s sacrifice.

lust

i kind of had an ah-ah moment when i was talking this over with @technitango. i was trying to decide who was going to be lust because lust is portrayed very, very differently in this show than what most of us are used to. we, of course, know sunah who lusts after a life of indulgence and riches because she equates that with respect more than actually wanting it because it’s monetarily worth something.

but then i realized the public is lust because of their need for justice. i won’t say revenge necessarily because they’re doing as they’re told when given the judge show. but we can quickly see how that evaporates into something akin to bloodlust, for criminals and people who normally get away with shit, to have their fair taste at conviction for their misdeeds. we even see it with yohan’s fanboy club - the lust that comes from adoration and dedication.

and even more so, the public is easily swayed and so is the nature of lust. it follows in the vein of needs and wants, and as soon as new information is presented, however may false, so does the wants and desires of what people want sway. how easy was it for them to turn on yohan for a split second on two occasions - on two accounts of bribery.

envy

envy, above all, is about wanting what others have because you do not have it yourself. it may not be exactly what they have, but a form of it. some people don’t necessarily want money - they want what it can by, which is time, health and material goods.

sunah is the perfect example of this. she envies respect and recognition. she talks about bright and shiny objects, and that’s true to her kleptomania tendences, but more than anything, she wants to be seen as an equal because being poor with a vastly different upbringing means she’s looked down upon by those she thinks matters.

which also begs the question why she feels the need to seek validation from people in higher statuses to begin with when she can be the exception and not the rule - form her own understanding and environment to show others that the typical way of the elite is not actually all it’s cracked up to be - to which we see when she has no one to celebrate her victory with. it’s lonely being at the top. you get to your goal you thought you wanted but then what?

more importantly, sunah also envies family, relationships and simply put, human interaction. she wants to be cared for and treasured, and she looks for that in her position of power. because then all eyes are on you. because then that’s what people care about. what she fails to see is that those eyes are just as fruitless and just as wavering. to be a leader means people loving the idea of you but not you as a person.

“people of envious nature are sometimes stimulated to seek to emulate those who have completed some great achievements and in doing so achieve something great for themselves,” according to Understanding Philosophy.

wrath

while i realize that gaon not might entirely fit the wrath trope, he certainly has his moments, and i think he’s lived with a tampered flame since his parent’s death. he just learned to briefly put it out in the form of distractions and a false sense of righteousness and justice. it isn’t until he meets yohan that someone finally gives him the okay to feel the entirety of his emotions, that lets him breath and tells him it’s okay to feel anger and hurt. and while gaon ultimately chooses not to exact revenge, his wrath is what led him to becoming a judge and walking away from his teenage crimality.

gaon transposed his wrath into seeking justice, transformed it into livelihood, and reformed his narrative so that he was no longer angry and a teen with rash emotions. it was simply redirected and never really forgotten. yohan turned that redirection back around onto gaon’s ultimate heartache. fueled with that, it became easier to justify himself and his actions.

the most pivotal moment of turning his back on this mindset is, of course, the minister’s suicide, where he takes a good look at himself and doesn’t like what he sees. at this point, gaon’s upset isn’t necessarily at yohan but at the situation in which they got themselves into. because the thing is, gaon doesn’t absolve himself from what they did. he doesn’t turn a blind eye to that and try to dismiss it. he owns up to what happened and confesses how he feels to yohan and how he has to leave for his own good, and in some indirect way, for yohan’s, too.

with yohan, his ultimately weakness, despite never admitting to it, is family. his wrath comes in the form of anger when the ones he loves are threatened. yohan lives by a moral code of loyalty because that means you won’t be abandoned, and as a child who lived with that verdict since the day he was born, it’s an ever-pressing theme of his.

thing is, wrath comes in two particular forms for yohan. again, one is family and the second is the rose-colored glasses he’s given himself in his revenge story. he’s always had a goal to presumably make right the wrong for taking away isaac, but within that, 10 years is a long time to plot revenge, to the point where it becomes so much easier to lose yourself to that, to become enraged with it and forget the initial goal all along. we see this in his inability to form the bonding moments needed with his niece and his casual throwaway comments over people’s lives - the comment he made to gaon about moving on to the next plan, and the ultimately nail in the coffin of pushing gaon to leaving him.

his fury has also led him to convince himself his own humanity is nothing short of a lie. therefore, it’s easier to justify the means to an end because of his own self-worth and self-deprecation. it’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy: he even admitted to gaon’s mentor that he is an abyss. he’s referred to himself as nothing but an animal or a monster - all characteristics of despondency to survive and to justify what he’s doing. sort of like a catch 22, yohan claims he’s an animal/monster and behaves as such, but because he behaves as such, it means he’s an animal/monster.

wrath for gaon and yohan are very different yet the same. they are slow-burning, and that’s a dangerous type. it’s actually interesting when you think about the fire imagery surrounding the two of them because flames are quick to lap at anything in its wake, to destroy within a matter of minutes. and yet for the two of these men, their internal fire eats them from the inside out, painfully, until they’re almost unrecognizable to others and to themselves.

sloth

sloth was a little more difficult to pinpoint because of its characteristics. it was either the minister versus the mentor, both of which i think could work in this role. however, i chose the minister simply because she’s featured more and intertwines heavily with the plot line.

soth is a medieval translation of the Latin term acedia, meaning “without care.”

the ultimate characteristic of sloth is often identified as laziness, and while it’s easy to argue that the minister hasn’t been lazy in her ability to get where she is, she became as much when she started lying to get to her position. isn’t lying known as the easier way out? it absolves you of responsibility, of putting in the hard work, of apologizing and making things right. in the end, she had a goal and found the easiest solution to get there through her lack of responsibility for the roles she more than likely swore an oath to.

but that also translates into the other attributes of sloth: a failure to do the right thing, lack of emotions for people or of the self, and the fact that it “hinders man in his righteous undertakings and thus becomes a terrible source of man’s undoing” according to The Seven Deadly Sins: Society and Evil.

while i think there are a lot of components of sloth that may not necessarily fit the minister, the apathy and carelessness are enough to showcase her aggression, despondency and restlessness when what little efforts she does put in do not go her way. another interesting thing to note is that many of sloth’s traits correspond with symptoms of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety. it’s an interesting thing to note given the way the minister chooses to end her life.

greed

i don’t know that jinjoo would’ve had any provocation to the limelight if it wasn’t for sunah’s direction, but she’s eager to please and wants to be useful. it’s only natural for her to want more because it’s clear she’s a career woman, loves her job and has a heart for serving the people.

but like gluttony, greed is also that little thing that plants itself and can take on a life of its own. you start looking for justifications as to why you can’t have more than what you do, and in jinjoo’s situation, she’s already overlooked through no fault of her own. and it’s not that gaon and yohan are doing it purposefully, which is what makes their neglect heartbreaking, because truthfully, they’re after the same thing jinoo is. sure, it looks different and the foundation of it is different, same with their motives. but they’re all three judges on a residing bench working to exact justice - even if all three of them have their own personal agenda.

i don’t think jinoo fully aligns with greed, but she does want more for herself, and i think that’s only natural. you can tell she has a heart, and she’s keen not to be overlooked. this isn’t her pain point so much as it is she knows her worth and is more than ready to do what it takes to get where she wants. this, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad trait, but we can see how it leads to being deceived, especially for someone who’s been left in the dark for so long.

she is enticed by the glitz and the glamour of being a head judge, but you can tell she feels some remorse and guilt for those thoughts at times. i think her sense of greed is a battle within herself more than it is extremely outwardly.

pride

soohyun’s pride comes in the form of her imbalance with right and wrong. her sense of righteousness and justice is so far leaning, even more than gaon’s. it can be chalked up to her being a cop, but we’ve seen instances of this outside of her role within that agency. her pride doesn’t let her see beyond saving gaon and getting to the bottom of every mystery that comes her way.

it also comes in the form of impulsiveness and her savior complex, putting elijah in danger, for example, instead of waiting for backup. it’s not necessarily from a belief that she can fix things all on her own, but she sees injustice and immediately jumps in. another case in point is her and gaon watching yohan wreck the minister’s son’s car. she’s ready to go stop him, but gaon pulls her back, most likely because at that point, they hadn’t been observing the situation for very long to get a read on it. also the fact that at that point, neither of them truly knew yohan and his capabilities.

but as to where her characteristics come from, we simply don’t know beyond that of gaon. it’s unfortunate because we don’t have much of her backstory, so there is no real understanding why she so firmly believes in entities of regulation beyond keeping her friend out of jail. she prides herself on her work and what she’s able to accomplish, which is why it’s devastating to her to have to protect gaon by cleaning up his bloody handprint.

aristotle is of the belief that, “pride, then, seems to be a sort of crown of the virtues; for it makes them greater, and it is not found without them. Therefore it is hard to be truly proud; for it is impossible without nobility and goodness of character,” from Nicomachean Ethics.

but pride for soohyun isn’t about honors or rewards. it’s for herself and her capabilities, her ability to protect gaon, and the virtues she’s set as the precedent for herself. because sometimes it’s not even about establishing morals and ethics upon yourself. it’s about feelings/intuition, logic and observation. and no, i don’t mean the feelings she has for gaon. there are things that humans do, both actions and words, that we inherently know are bad without someone telling us as much and without the rules of the world seared into our brains. there are some things we know, for a fact, are wrong to us as individuals.

for soohyun, she knows that gaon’s actions, and even her own, have consequences. from what we’ve seen, i think it can be argued that it’s really about not doing those actions to prevent an outcome - not necessarily from a place of being just and right. that doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand good morals/ethics, but again, we have no background of what her internal guidance actually is.

to put this in layman’s terms, we’ll use gaon wanting to stab the conman in his youth. soohyun knows it’s wrong because it will incriminate gaon and therefore she stops it. gaon’s gone to her because he sees her as a moral compass. but is her own internal navigation rooted in justice the way gaon had to find it in the judicial system, or is hers rooted in her pride of keeping gaon safe? she stops him from doing things that will get him in trouble, but is she stopping him because the action itself is wrong or because the outcome will result in undesirable consequences for the two of them?

and of course, there is a flipped argument to be had there - i’m not arguing that gaon stabbing the conman would be right or justified. but what i am saying is that for her, her worldview is the only right one, and when anyone steps out of that, even gaon, it becomes a bit of an issue: the pride she has for that is palpable.

every character indulges

truthfully, every character has at least one form of these sins rooted in their characterization. some are larger than others, but the breadth of it can be explored even further for each. and that’s what makes them more realistic and not just characters written on a page or following a linear progression of their writing deity.

the seven deadly sins are also notoriously rooted in religion. they’re also a defining feature of aristotle’s works that represent the golden mean, in which each vice is parallel to a virtue.

the devil judge is so layered, but i think at the heart of it, it’s about humanity at its core. sprinked in are the philosophies and contradictions and what it means to look in the mirror, what happens when we’re blind to seeing our true selves and most importantly, how much changes when we’re swayed by our own misgivings. it really asks us to understand nature versus nurture, that people must find a belief in something to keep them going, and how futile our hopes and desires can actually be if we’re not carefully regulating ourselves, nevermind the entities established by society to regulate us, too.

the entirety of the show genuinely begs the question as to who is truly right, who is truly wrong, and if it’s even possible to find the correct answer.

#x #the devil judge #the devil judge meta #*#*the devil judge #so i have some Thoughts #probably not very good ones but ya know

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fu-yao · 3 years

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#showyourprocess

From planning to posting, share your process for making creative content!

To continue supporting content makers, this tag game is meant to show the entire process of making creative content: this can be for any creation.

RULES — When your work is tagged, show the process of its creation from planning to posting, then tag 5 people with a specific link to one of their creative works you’d like to see the process of. Use the tag #showyourprocess so we can find yours!

Thank you so much for tagging me @lan-xichens, I’ll try my best to explain how I made this set from start to finish hehe ♡ and also a big thank you to @suibianjie @highwarlockkareena @nyx4 @aheartfullofjolllly and you as well Kris for putting this all together! Content creators get a lot less recognition than they deserve for all the time they put into their content, so getting everyone to see the (sometimes excessive) process we all go through to put our content in our blog, I hope it creates a positive change!! 💖

1. Planning

The set in question was actually requested by someone so they could celebrate their friend’s birthday! At first I wasn’t entirely sure if I was going to be able to finish it on time (college is very hectic right now) but I was able to finish it three days before the deadline which was may 1st! ^-^

The first thing I did was decide what characters I wanted to use in the set, I first reached out to the person who requested the set if there were certain characters they wanted me to use but they said they didn’t know enough to really give me any directives outside of the quote. I decided, since the quote is applicable to the entirety of the show, that I would try to put in as many characters as possible.

Thus, of course, came the hunting for scenes. Those of you in the net discord surely know I came into the content help channel a few times to ask for certain scenes here and there, and eventually I had to download an additional 10 episodes to the back then 20 or so episodes I had in my CQL episodes folder.

As you can see I have 30 random episodes of CQL downloaded (slowly but surely getting to the point where I have all 50 episodes downloaded) and I think I ended up using scenes out of at least 20 of those episodes.

I planned out beforehand what characters I would use per gif. I knew obviously I would start out with Wangxian, them being the main characters of the show, and then would work my way down the list. The second gif consists of Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning. They’re all family pairings, two being siblings and one being a married couple. The next gifset consists of the Yi City characters, then the fourth gif consists of the juniors, and the final gif has Jin Guangyao, Mianmian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen in it.

I have to admit though that when I had made the first four gifs I’d forgotten who I would put in the last gif and the when I thought about it the first time around I could only think of Lan Qiren and the very cursed Yaoyang ship 😭 it was only at dinner time that same day that I remembered I hadn’t put Jiang Cheng in my gifset yet and that’s when I thought of the other characters as well.

I had already made my first two gifs when I went to check Hanyi’s blog for layout inspo and eventually I decided I wanted to try a triangle-ish layout, which I doodled below. I eventually ended up changing the layout of the last gif in the final design. It was also the first time I would work with a triangle-ish layout so I was a bit nervous as I was scared it wasn’t going to work out...

2. Creating

I use Avisynth 2.5 and Adobe Photoshop 2021 (the paid version, unfortunately, I need it for school except I didn’t need it this year but I wanted it so I paid for it with my own money ouch) to make my gifsets! I always start out with trimming down all the scenes I’m going to use into three to five second videos and putting them through Avisynth. This time around I did it separately for each gif I made, simply because I needed so many scenes. I would include a screenshot of my “gif vids” and “temp” folders but I’ve already deleted all the videos, which is what I usually do immediately after a set is posted.

I’ll try my best explaining this gif by gif since each one had a different layout!

2.1 Wangxian

I think I had up to five different designs of this gif 😭 it started out with the gif on the left originally being more centered and the quote right smack in the center but somehow it felt a bit too... empty? I changed up the design and pulled the gif over to the right and put the two closeups on the left, the exact opposite of the gif I eventually ended up with. I switched things around one more time and saved the gif as you can see it right now, except I didn’t include the lines yet. It was only as I finished up my fourth gif that I decided this gif needed lines as well so I added them ^-^

2.2 Nie Huaisang, Nie Mingjue, Jin Zixuan, Jiang Yanli, Wen Qing, and Wen Ning

I got the inspiration for the font layout on this gif from this Wenzhou post! I hadn’t tried it before and when I did for this gif I was very happy with the way it turned out :D I wanted to portray that life is a pile of good and bad things, as the quote says, in CQL by mirroring these happy scenes side by side with the sad scenes

2.3 Yi CIty

My first time working with the triangle layout!! Putting in the lines and making sure they would line up with the second gif took me the longest of all actually 😭 I think once I got the line on the left in I just copy pasted it and flipped it horizontally so I didn’t have to fiddle around with angling it anymore :’) my original idea was to get a happy Song Lan scene and a sad A-Qing scene, but when I stumbled upon this A-Qing scene in ep38 I just had to put it in there because her smile is so precious 🥺 Xue Yang and Xiao Xingchen in the center are also supposed to be mirrored, with Xue Yang embodying the “bad things” and Xiao Xingchen the “good things” ! I also think the Yi City characters fit this part of the quote very well!!

2.4 The Juniors

Ah yes, the junior quartet!! :D I had this planned out from the very beginning, that I would include happy versus sad juniors in the “vice versa” part of the quote, and I think it worked out quite well! My first idea was to put the “vice versa” completely in the special font and have it typed out over the gifs like I did with the “vice” but as I typed out the “versa” I realized it had one letter too much to be able to do that 😭😭 it took me a while to come up with how I would position the “but” and “versa” and after some moving around I decided to just place them the way I did in the final gif! For the font, I duplicated the “vice” and added a stroke to the duplicate, then I changed the fill setting to 0% so I could slightly drag the duplicate away from the original layer to create the effect that’s in the gif — also, finding a scene in which Jin Ling smiles is really difficult.... he barely even smiles in the scene I ended up using :(

2.5 Jin Guangyao, Mianmian, Jiang Cheng, and Lan Xichen

The final gif!! I feel like this might come a little across as “I promise I didn’t forget these characters” because they’re a very odd quadruplet to put together, but they were the most important characters left to put in the set! I was thinking of putting Nie Mingjue in here together with Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen, but I did feel he fit more with his brother up in the second gif. Mei @mylastbraincql cheered me on making this gif for which I was very grateful :D <3 the layout came to be after I googled “how to evenly split a rectangle in four” because I didn’t want a repeat layout in the set (*/∇＼*)

2.6 Coloring

For the coloring I pretty much did all of the tweaking on the first gif and then copy pasted all of it onto the second, third, fourth, and fifth gif. This is usually the way I go about my coloring, I will always edit certain gifs if necessary but I don’t think I had to change the coloring much on any of these gifs? Maybe I added in a curve layer here and there, but nothing major! This is really one of my preferred coloring styles, even though I try to step outside of my comfort zones with other sets ^-^

3. Posting

I will always upload sets into my drafts and edit the caption in there as well, clicking on “preview post” a couple times to check everything looks good on my blog as well, before I post a set. However, this time, since there was a deadline and I finished before the deadline, I put this set in the queue so it would automatically post on the 1st of may! Knowing myself, I would’ve forgotten to do so </3

Whew that was... a lot 😭 did it make any sense? Probably not, but it was fun to ramble （ ´∀｀）

I’ll tag

@blinkplnk with this set !

@wuxien with this set !

@wendashanren with this set !

@wanyinxichen with this set !

@yibobibo with this set !

@mylastbraincql with this set !

@sugarbabywenkexing with this set !

@yiling-recesses with this set !

@jiancheng with this set !

Please feel totally free to ignore this if you’ve already been tagged and don’t want to do it again!! <3

#showyourprocess #tag game #this got so long i'm sorry ;-;#very curious to see everyone else's processes!!#thank you for the tag kris <3

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what-breaks-my-heart · 3 years

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DanHwa Couple: Happy Ending versus Sad Ending

Note: I did plan to publish this post in conjunction with the last day of Run On Week when I came up with the idea for this post but I never thought this post would eventually be this long so I’m not going to ruin it for everyone 😂🙈

Previously, I’ve touched on the main theme of DanHwa’s storyline - goals & dreams.

Before I continue, I wish to extend my heartiest gratitude to @belsmultifandommess for taking my gif requests specifically so I could include them in this post ❤❤❤ You can click on “GIF by belsmultifandommess” to view the full sets from which the gifs I’ve included in this post were sourced. If you haven’t already, give some love to those beautiful gifsets.

This is going to be one hell of a long post so hydrate yourselves, get some snacks, prepare a box of tissues if you are a softie like me, and buckle up.

Previously in my series of write up on DanHwa storyline...

About Seo Dan Ah

Seo Dan Ah, Her Little Brother Seo Tae Woong, and A Planned Coup in Seomyung Group

Goals & Dreams - The Main Premise in the Live of Seo “Rapunzel” Dan Ah

Goals & Dreams - I Need You to Cooperate with Me

I have to be honest. The finale left me with so much feelings that made me struggle to understand how DanHwa’s storyline was concluded. There have been various takes on the conclusion of their storyline and I cannot totally disregard each of them because they do make sense in a way.

After seeing the preview for the finale, I did pose a question whether Young Hwa would agree to cooperate with Dan Ah’s potential goal to stop seeing each other, while still holding on to his dream of not breaking up with her.

As I was starting the finale, I saw the episode description on Netflix and giggled at how the storyline of DanHwa was described.

Mi-joo’s work gets a director noticed overseas. Yeong-hwa and Dan-ah achieve their own goals. Seon-gyeom officially becomes a sports agent.

Earlier, I did a write up about how Dan Ah was plotting a coup in Seomyung Group. Later in the finale, it was revealed that all along, she had been waiting for her father to pass away so she could take back what’s rightfully hers. I stand corrected. Dan Ah sweetie, I should have thought better than slandering you 🥺

True enough, she needed Tae Woong’s support in the coup, but she didn’t say the situation might call for him to turn against her because she wanted him to come clean about his paternity, but she said it because she knew how the bastard ‘older’ brother would blackmail Tae Woong into voting for him for the position of the successor in Seomyung Group by abusing his power and influence in Seomyung Group. I bet he was the one who started the rumour about Tae Woong’s paternity in order to control Tae Woong.

However, Dan Ah needed Tae Woong’s support as one of the major shareholders so that she could obtain enough support to be in a position of power in Seomyung Group. And thanks to his support, Dan Ah was promoted as the youngest Vice President of Seomyung Group. Yes, she was not yet wielding the power as the Chairwoman of Seomyung Group, but being a Vice President of Seomyung Group was itself a shorter-term goal, or a milestone towards achieving her dream of taking back what’s hers - her title as the rightful heiress of Seomyung Group.

Just like what Young Hwa - bless his young, optimistic yet immature self - told Dan Ah when she first came to his college after he kept crossing the line; if a dream seemed impossible to be achieved, focus instead on shorter-term goals while working towards chasing that dream.

By the way when I think of it, it was never made clear if the ‘older’ bastard son was appointed as President of Seomyung Group. Imagine if he was, because it wouldn’t be surprising, but he could never have things done his way because Dan Ah would keep having his ass handed to him by convincing the board room just how stupid his ways were.

Anyways, the way the story of DanHwa was concluded could be open to various interpretation, and I now believe it was intentionally done so. Why?

Exhibit 1

Young Hwa telling Dan Ah that his new goal was to watch her from a distance neither too far that he could not see her, nor too close that his field of vision would be blocked, so that he could always see her wherever he was.

He did so by asking her to just stay where she was. Of course the moment he said it, my alarms were buzzing because of how the story had compared her to Rapunzel living in a castle.

It was when Young Hwa looked “Seo Dan Ah” up on the internet when he later realised that he had forgotten how Dan Ah had been living in a castle that a peasant like him could never even dream of entering, since she was Rapunzel.

Exhibit 2

When Young Hwa and Dan Ah finally met again in front of his painting at the gallery, Dan Ah said that she was going to make that day to be her real birthday, before Young Hwa was finally able to wish her happy birthday.

These lines did seem rather out of place, but when I think more about it, it was Dan Ah cooperating with Young Hwa’s goal for both of them to celebrate her real birthday together.

This was in contrast to when she said her birthday was far away. This to me, seemed like both a literal and figurative remark.

In the literal sense, she was not sure at that point in time if they could still see each other when the day would eventually come.

Whereas in the figurative sense, celebrating her real birthday would symbolise a celebration of her successfully claiming her rightful title as the heiress of Seomyung Group - which seemed like a stretch to her at that time because she didn’t know about her father’s health condition.

But when they finally met again, she realised that there was someone who cherished her and kept her inside his radiant heart. And this person wanted to celebrate her real birthday with her because her being born was a miracle (just as other birth), because she was healthy, and because she was seeing him.

And he wanted to celebrate her real birthday with her as a way of expressing his gratitude to the heaven for all of these.

But ultimately, Young Hwa wanted to celebrate Dan Ah’s real birthday with her to get her heart in return.

And when Dan Ah decided to make the day they finally met again as her real birthday, it was symbolic that instead of obsessing over her dream of getting back her rightful title as the heiress of Seomyung Group which might require her staying in her castle, she finally gave her heart to Young Hwa, even though she was desperate to keep her heart intact due to her health condition. Maybe it’s just me but I think it’s poetic in a way.

And when she made the decision, it was symbolic to her accepting living with a fake birthday as long as someone truly cherishes her, because it may be fake, but her feeling was otherwise as real as it gets.

Exhibit 3

When the four besties met up and discussed about endings, Young Hwa told the group that his happy ending would be living well, giving birth to children like a rabbit with the person he loved (no joke that’s exactly what he said in Korean, hence the look of disgust on Dan Ah’s face).

And when he asked Dan Ah about what she wanted as her happy ending, he also asked if they could share the same happy ending, claiming their love would last forever (ah, the pure innocence of first loves).

Dan Ah then argued that she even faked a coming out to her family specifically because she did not want to get married, so sharing the same happy ending with Young Hwa like what he imagined would totally be out of the question.

Exhibit 4

DanHwa official Before poster

I’m sure many of us didn’t see this poster before the drama started airing. To be completely honest, I was not anticipating for this drama to air. There I was, minding my own business, when I saw gifs and screencaps from this drama’s first 2 episodes suddenly showing up on my dash. And then I read the usual caption spam by @dangermousie for those episodes and those caption spam actually piqued my interest.

You could see a sense of giddiness in this poster, as if they were playing a game of cat and mouse with each other. For those of you who don’t read hangul, the lines highlighted in this poster read as below:

“Don’t keep crossing the line.”

“But you came to see me because I crossed the line.”

DanHwa official After poster

And on the day the finale aired, JTBC released this official After poster. In this poster, both of them were portrayed to be lost in their own thoughts, no longer giddy and teasing each other.

Again, for those of you who don’t read hangul, there was only one line highlighted in this poster which reads:

“Don’t get sick, my first love.”

Special shoutout to @its-chelisey-stuff for highlighting the differences in these two posters in a post of its own.

Exhibit 5

After everything was said and done, the two of them kept hanging out together and seeing each other. They even went as each other’s plus one to the premier of Yook Ji Woo’s movie, Killing Day. And it was a public setting where people could gossip about them going together too, so it was clear she was not bothered by the possibility of people gossiping about it.

So with these 5 exhibits, it was clear that the drama was intentionally sending us viewers mixed signals about the conclusion of the story of DanHwa. But what exactly should we take from this intention?

Now, let’s talk about Young Hwa. Our precious little crybaby goof ball. We’ve seen lots of movies (or Young Hwa (영화), geddit??) with happy endings. Some gave us sad endings, but those sad endings were not unrealistic.

Throughout the drama, we could see the growth of both Dan Ah and Young Hwa since they first met each other.

In the beginning, Young Hwa told Dan Ah that he was too busy with what was in front of him (life of a college student coming from a small town in the rural area) that he never got to have a dream. When he finally had one, i.e., to not break up with Dan Ah, he gave her the assurance that he would make that dream comes true. He even tried delaying their breakup as soon as he realised that she would be breaking up with him. Not breaking up with Dan Ah was Young Hwa’s first dream ever, but he eventually learnt how hard it was to chase his dream.

But going back to the episode description, why did Netflix say that both Young Hwa and Dan Ah achieved their own goals? I’ve argued earlier in this post how Dan Ah’s appointment as the youngest Vice President of Seomyung Group could fit in this narrative. Young Hwa’s goal to keep watching Dan Ah from a distance neither too far nor too close could arguably fit in this narrative too.

I know, I know, the irony of me spending so much time thinking and talking about the ending is clear to me. But to me, the whole story of DanHwa was cleverly concluded. If we go back to episode 7, Dan Ah expressed her regret that she let go of her dream to play professional soccer (I much prefer the word ‘football’ but Koreans use the word ‘soccer’ so I’m sticking to it for consistency purpose) so easily and that she was still looking forward to having chances to kick the ball every now and then.

Later on, Dan Ah disclosed to Young Hwa how desperate she was to make time for her to go running to him despite time being of utmost importance to her, and how she desperately wanted to grab onto the little time she managed to make to be with him.

We also saw how despite being so desperate, she had initially tried to resist her urges to just run to him. Because to her, she could not afford to be distracted from running towards her dream. But she eventually ran towards him and gave in to her feeling nonetheless, albeit timing herself so she wouldn’t forget about her dream altogether.

I personally believe that their relationship would keep on going the same way it had been going - them chasing after their own individual goals, them cooperating with each other to make sure their individual goals would be achieved, Young Hwa keeping Dan Ah deep inside his heart with more subtlety just like how his painting evolved from a big drawing of Dan Ah to the silhouette of Dan Ah hiding in his painting which was displayed in Seomyung Art Gallery, while Dan Ah grabbing onto what little opportunity she would have to spend her time with Young Hwa, even if it was only for a short, sweet moment.

They might live the rest of their lives together, or they might not. But what Run On managed to tell me is we should not be too obsessed with our endings which may or may not be far away from us. Instead, we should focus on what’s right in front of us.

Instead of obsessing over our dreams and happy endings which may demotivate us if we keep stumbling onto boulders while chasing our dreams and happy endings, we should focus on shorter-term goals. Because who knows what great opportunities and sweet moments are standing right in front of us, waiting to be grabbed, if only we allow ourselves to cherish them and in return, being cherished ourselves.

And that to me, is the biggest takeaway from the story of DanHwa.

#jtbc run on #run on #kdrama #kdrama opinion #long post #kang tae oh #sooyoung #well when I said this is going to be a long post I really meant it

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juneviews · 3 years

Text

addressing everything

hello. since yihwas, minghao-ah and 1akorn won’t leave me alone and will continue to stalk my blog and bully me, I feel obligated to make this post. my name is axelle, I’m 21 years old and I’ve had a tumblr blog for almost six years now. most of my online presence has been surrounded by lgbtq+ voices and from the very first moment I started to ship my first mlm ship, I have always questioned my relationship to it as I’ve never wanted to fetishize or hurt anyone in the lgbtq+ community.

it’s always been very important to me to be the best ally possible and I’ve been watching videos and reading articles on various lgbtq+ topics for years. so yes, hearing that there are people out there who should know my character as a person as they have followed me and agreed with me for years but are still trying to commit some sort of character assassination, upsets me. hearing that those people are attacking my core values of tolerance, love of others and acceptance with baseless accusations hurts me.

I have tried to ignore the situation for months because I know how vicious these people (that used to be so nice to me) are, but it’s clearly not working as they will stop at nothing until I have left tumblr. so today I will go over the entire situation as I can not take this psychological harassment and blatant lies anymore.

the situation

it all started when I was accused of whitewashing my gifsets, because I posted one gifset that I had rushed to make where the brightness was too high. I received a very mean and accusatory ask which I posted more out of shock that someone would accuse me of such a thing since I have posted literal hundreds of gifsets on this blog that clearly weren’t whitewashing anyone. that’s when the backlash started, and I believe that’s when those three blogs went from liking me to disliking me. they might have been part of those who sent me private anon messages, I don’t know. I did end up apologizing for that mistake and explaining myself by saying that I’ve always paid attention to characters’ skintones and this was a one time mistake but that I will pay more attention going forward.

a month or so later, I received an private message from minghao-ah demanding me explanations on a joke I made. I had found it funny that the not me director had chosen to post (from probably multiple pictures that were taken), a picture where it looks like first’s hand is on off’s crotch. it instantly annoyed me that someone I didn’t know would come ask me for explanations in such a demanding way, especially amidst me getting at least one hate anon a day since the whitewashing allegations. I did still respond to them nicely and explained what I said previously. then a few days later they sent me another message on the fact that I had said that most mlm representation was still representation regardless of quality. in the message they were picking apart, I had explicitly stated that I was talking about quality of production, acting & writing and I was NOT saying that every representation even those that include sexual assault, homophobia, etc. were okay. therefore that whole message was completely unnecessary and made me grow even more annoyed. in that same message they asked me to tell them if I didn’t want them to send me these kinds of messages, which I did. I still replied nicely to them and ended my message by asking them to stop sending me that type of questions. what I learned later and made the whole thing even more infuriating is that minghao-ah is yihwas and 1akorn’s friend, and had probably come in my dms with their full knowledge and encouragement.

then a little while after 1akorn reblogged an answer I gave to that same ask by pointing out what they found problematic in my post. we talked about it in the comments of that same post and we actually agreed on everything. this answer was clearly just nitpicking on what I said when again we shared the same opinion. I was very upset to see her talk publicly about me when again she was essentially just misinterpreting what I said even though in reality we were in agreement. what upset me even more was yihwas reblogging her post, as I thought we were very friendly and had recently had an hours long conversation. since I am very honest I sent a message to yihwas who was extremely unempathetic to the anon hate I was getting as a result of 1akorn’s response and her reblog, even though she herself had had to password-protect her blog about a year before because she got too much hate. I thought she would understand me and try to stop the hate coming my way, but instead just told me to disable anonymous messages even when I explained to her that I still wanted to talk to the nice anons I received (which still were a majority). his is also when I learned from her own messages that she was close friends with minghao-ah and had a whole group chat with them & 1akorn where they talked about things they found problematic. it left a bitter taste in my mouth as it felt like they had essentially sent minghao-ah to interrogate me instead of coming to me directly when I knew them a lot more than minghao-ah. in the end, yihwas and me agreed to disagree and parted ways. I didn’t block yihwas or 1akorn because they were blogs I had once admired greatly and it would pain me to block them. I was depressed for a few weeks after that because my core values had been questioned; little did I know that this was only the beginning of this situation.

a week or two ago, an anonymous ask was sent to me warning me that yihwas was talking about me on her blog. and what I discovered was frankly flabbergasting. so many of her posts were about me, but what shocked me the most was that some were clearly in reference to posts I had made after our argument. therefore she and her friends were still coming onto my blog to try and find things to nitpick. I do not find this to be a healthy response to an argument at all. normally if you hate someone and think they’re a bad person, you want to stay as far away from them as you can. instead, they went through all of my blog to take screenshots of it and post vaguely about them. this is incredibly unsettling and creepy and borders on obsessesion. I blocked yihwas.

then a few nights ago I received an ask about how calling off jumpol ‘daddy’ was sexualising him. it was most certainly sent by minghao-ah because you’ll see that they sent me a very similar message the same night. even if it wasn’t, that is not the question anyway. I responded that no, daddy isn’t inherently sexual and has become more of a meme than anything else in the past years and that off’s nickame papi literally means daddy in spanish. right after I answered it, I received a message from minghao-ah’s other blog which was extremely disturbing. I do not understand why someone I have blocked would think it’s okay to come talk to me again, but it was very clear to me that their goal was to get me riled up in order to take screenshots of the conversation. coincidentally they did not share our recent interaction in their ‘exposé’ of me, probably because they know it would reflect bad on them. they still have then referenced the screenshots of that conversation many times publicly though, and also shared our conversations in their recent post, which proves my initial instinct right. the goal was clearly to escalate the situation to a public “exposing” of me. I then blocked this second blog of theirs as well as all of the blogs I know of that belong to these three individuals.

here’s the “discussion” with minghao-ah where I beg them to leave me alone which they still don’t do:

then I received another ask alerting me that blogs were spreading rumors about me and this time I answered it as it didn’t name anyone contrarily to the first one I had received. I was still very much aware that this would make them even angrier as they had been enjoying my silence in the past few weeks. then, you just have to look at their blogs to see what they’ve said of me. my response to that ask clearly bothered them as it wasn’t one-sided accusations anymore. funny how they completely glossed over the fact that they are in fact bullying me (ganging up on someone and trying to destroy their reputation IS bullying), and harrassing me (still coming to talk to me, looking through my blog and most certainly sending me anonymous asks) when I’m supposed to be the one who plays the victim and can’t take criticism.

harrassment and bullying

contrarily to what they want to believe, still coming into my (and my friends) dms & asks after I’ve blocked them and coming into my blog with the intent of nitpicking everything I have ever said is harrassment. especially since I do not believe one bit that you really think I’m a danger to society. you are simply obsessed with me and the fact that I’m a straight woman with a big blog and want to push me off of the platform. you can try and defend yourselves saying that you just want to call a bad person out, but once again you’ve followed me for years and agreed with a lot of things I said, things I still believe to this day, so I do not believe one bit you truly think I’m the person you publicly say I am. so knowing a person has blocked you on all of your blogs and still going out of your way to spy on what they’re doing in the hopes of finding something to nitpick is incredibly creepy and as I’ve said before, I wish you would just leave me alone. but that’s not your goal, your goal is to attack me so much that I decide to leave tumblr. if you truly thought I was a bad person, you would have blocked me and moved on with your lives. instead you are trying to push everyone away from me, because this was never about me being problematic. this was about me not bowing down to you and you being annoyed that I’m a straight women who supports lgbtq+ media and has a big blog.

they have also went in the dms of several of my friends to try and persuade them to stop being friends with me & supporting me:

I’m problematic?

I haven’t been able to see every screenshots of what these people are essentially reproaching me, but I thought I’d address the few criticism that have been raised against me:

the whitewashing: as I’ve said at the beginning of this post, this was a one time mistake and it’s never my intention to make someone look less like who they are ethnically. I have spoken many times on colorism in thai dramas especially on this blog and while I do not believe it makes me immune to criticism, I do believe it shows the extent of my opinion on the question.

being transphobic: again something I’ve already addressed but these people are still using against me because they do not care about the truth but they care about destroying me. I was briefly excited for the show drag I love you as I love everyone in the cast & I was especially excited to see a show with such an extensive lgbtq+ cast. I watched the trailer once on the live gmmtv put out and got excited about it. for a while I did not address the anon hate I got for being transphobic because they simply were accusatory and didn’t explain why they thought I was transphobic nor even why drag I love you was transphobic. it’s only when someone politely explained to me why they were bothered by my opinion that I did more research and completely distanced myself from the show. which they know because again they’ve looked all over my blog but decided to ignore because it doesn’t fit their narrative.

fetishizing actors: I... genuinely have nothing to say on this because I find this absolutely baseless. do I like actors? yes. do I find them attractive? yes. do I fetishize them? no. calling an actor daddy and saying he’s hot is not fetishization, it’s called being attracted to someone. in that case we’re all fetishizing every actor we like? or does that apply only to straight people and men who find women attractive? because I do not get it. as for me fetishizing an underage actor (drake laedeke) by calling him a thicc daddy (again a joke that doesn’t seem to have landed), drake is 20. I’m 21. we’re a year apart. stop proving that I’m right to say you’re nitpicking everything I say by choosing dumb examples like this one.

hating women: ?????? like, what do you want me to say to that apart again pointing to the many posts of mine that either celebrate great female representation or criticize the poor treatement of female characters in thai dramas.

obsessed with mlm & bl: that’s funny when I’m one of the only thai drama blogs who doesn’t only post bl. I’ve giffed profusely the few wlw thai ships that happened and I’m constantly recommending non bl thai shows. again you’re just picking and choosing what fits your narrative and completely disregarding the rest.

not taking criticism: I plead 100% guilty for this one. I am very strong-headed, and yes my default response to this kind (saying I’m a fetishizer and transphobic) of accusations is not to bow down to them. especially since most of them are false as already discussed previously. but when people have worded things nicely and actually explained things to me (because yes saying I’m a fetishizer is nice but WHY? because I’ve used the word daddy a couple of times? that argument wouldn’t hold up in court), I have immediately corrected myself and apologized like in the case of me promoting drag I love you.

hypocrisy

it is incredibly sad to see how much hypocrisy has been going on in this whole situation. especially again coming from a blog like yihwas who had to password-protect her blog because of anon hate. it is clear to me that the biggest issue these three have is that I’m a straight woman and I have one of the biggest blogs in this fandom. I will not stoop as low as trying to guess why they have a problem with that, because anyone who has been paying attention knows. it’s very “funny” (in a sad sense) to try and analyze if their criticism of me would hold up if I wasn’t straight. and no being straight is sadly for them not a valid reason to say someone is problematic.

it’s also very concerning to me that people who followed me for YEARS, who interacted with my posts for YEARS, who reblogged my stuff for YEARS, are suddenly realizing that I’m such a bad person. I’m not saying that people can’t change for the worst, but I definitely haven’t. in fact I’ve grown for the best, as one of the posts they’ve been using to show how horrible I am was made when I was 16. does that excuse the fact that this post was gross? no. but the fact that they’re completely glossing over the part where I was underage is clearly showing bias and their wish to make me look bad no matter what. also the fact that they’ve gone through the 18,000 posts on my blog even though again they’ve been blocked many times and I’ve asked them to leave me alone shows more about their character than it does mine. I’m sorry for saying gross shit when I was 16, I was emulating the content I saw on the internet and thought it was the cool thing to do. I have realized long ago that this is something fucked up to say and it obviously doesn’t align with my beliefs.

I posted a video about how all of off jumpol’s characters are coded as bisexual. I prefaced it by saying that I was only talking about fictional characters and not his real sexuality, and my video clearly shows that some of his roles are very heavily coded that way. here’s what yihwas had to say about it:

again, completely misinterpreting my words BECAUSE I’m a straight woman. if it had been anyone non-straight (like @disaster-j for example) she would have never posted something like that. why would it be problematic to point out the very clear subtext in so many off jumpol characters? did I ever mention I wanted to have a threesome with fictional characters? it just shows that I could say anything and it would get twisted to fit their narrative.

just a few days ago, I posted that aom sushar had starred in a cute wlw movie and here’s what yihwas posted in response to that:

this is absolutely disturbing to me... I never said that movie was a very accurate representation of the wlw experience or anything of the sorts, I just... said I liked a movie? that’s a wlw romance? it’s not about straight voices silencing or at least being louder than lgbtq+ voices because that’s obviously not what I want, but... does that mean I can’t watch any kind of lgbtq+ representation? or if I do, I can’t give my opinion about it bc I’m not lgbtq+? that’s some very dangerous things to say.

an apology?

you’ve all mentioned wanting an apology from me in your posts, but I’m a little confused as to why. never once has either of you expressed the need for me to apologize, and again even if you did, why would I need to apologize to you? I never attacked any of you, in fact it’s the three of you who are not only stalking me but also sending messages to anyone who interacts with me. so do you want an apology for the whole lgbtq+ community? do you think you three represent the millions of lgbtq+ individuals? moreover, as I’ve expressed before, I have done nothing that warrants an apology. have I sometimes worded things poorly? sure. I do not think that takes away from ALL of my other posts in support of the lgbtq+ community and my years of allyship.

mob mentality

it’s for me very concerning to see how much mob mentality has played a role in this situation. a lie from minghao-ah that I had been condescending to them prompted the two others to dislike me even more. I have never even talked to 1akorn directly as I’ve learned to know that talking to one of them is talking to the three. they have constantly hyped themselves up as being the ones who hold the truth, but let me tell you something: you being three doesn’t make you more right than me who is one. me being straight doesn’t make me automatically wrong. you are lying about, nitpicking, harrassing me. and you are neither heroes nor the representant of the entire lgbtq+ community. you are bullies who are bitter because I won’t bow down to you even though you’re more numerous than me.

conclusion

so here it was, all of my opinions on this situation. I hope that me posting them will get them to leave me alone, but I doubt it. though that says more about them than it says about me. as I’ve said in my ask answer yesterday, I am not perfect. my life just like all of yours is constantly evolving and we’re all growing as individuals. but no one deserves the harrassment I have been living in the past few weeks. no one deserves to feel like they could say absolutely anything, and it would still get twisted to show them in a bad light. so in the end if you believe I’m a bad person, then feel free to block me. but don’t obsess about me like these three because this is a whole other level of fucked up.

as for anyone who might want to send me screenshots of what they’re doing or saying behind my back, I appreciate the sentiment but don’t. I have wasted enough time and enough of my mental health looking at those already, I don’t need more. but know that I appreciate your kindness and support.

and for sophie, shannon and morgan: I hope one day you realize how unacceptable what you’ve been doing is. how being three to hype yourselves up doesn’t mean you’re right. how you do not represent the whole lgbtq+ community nor the entire thai dramas fandom for that matter. that what you have been doing is unequivocally harrassment. and mostly, that you leave me alone like I’ve been asking for weeks. no I won’t leave tumblr. even if I wanted to I can’t possibly give you the satisfaction that you bullied me into quitting. so keep being obsessed with me, and I believe karma will do its job one day anyway.

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pynkhues · 3 years

Note

we're constantly saying we're a "small fandom", but what does that constitute? how many people do you think are in the (tumblr) fandom? how many would there need to be for it to stop being small, in your opinion?

Ah! That’s such an interesting question, anon!

There have actually been some real efforts to quanitfy fandoms over the last ten years through stats, most noticeably in @toastystats‘ fandom analytics and census. There’s a good article on it here on The Daily Dot which offers up some background if you’re interested, plus it also talks about the demographic differences between Archive of Our Own, Fanfiction.net and Wattpad, which I just generally find really fascinating, haha.

In particular though, ToastyStats did a 2020 fandom breakdown last year where she drew up data for the top fandoms which I think gives a really good insight into what’s considered a ‘big’ fandom and honestly, Good Girls doesn’t even come close.

The biggest fandom in 2020 was indisputely Kpop which had almost 100k new fics last year alone, and toastystats’ broader encapsulation of the big fandoms were ultimately fandoms that produced over 10k new fics a year. Even her 'fastest growing’ fandom pool was restricted to fics that had more than 2k new fics produced in a year.

Good Girls has been an active fandom now since 2018, and has produced 1559 fics total, which puts us at roughly 520 new fics a years, so it doesn’t meet any of that criteria, and is small even compared to brand new fandoms like, say, The Old Guard, which has produced over 6k fics in less than six months.

Just looking at fanfiction is, of course, not really fair when you consider the other components of a fandom, particularly gifs, analysis, fanart and participants generally, but I think it does give us a really good indication as to the size of the fandom more broadly. It’s a bit of a microcosm of hard data in that sense, as opposed to anecdotal evidence which is often what we’re limited to when talking about fandom.

That said, I can speak a little anecdotally here, haha, and I will to say that I think that comparison of fic is pretty accurate?

I mean, Good Girls posts on here move slow, particularly over the hiatus – I’d say gifsets and fanart are lucky during the break to get more than 100 notes, analysis posts over 20, and when you’re comparing that to some of the bigger fandoms like, say, The Mandalorian, where it’s pretty normal to be getting over 1k on gifsets and over 100 on analysis, that’s pretty reflective of toastystat’s observations around ‘big’ fandoms.

We’re lucky though that while Good Girls is small, it’s not a tiny fandom, and it really is an active one too. We have a passionate fanbase, which, while small, is pretty solid! And frankly, I don’t think it’s ever going to get to the point where it’s producing 2k new fics a year, let alone the 10k that would make it onto a toastystats analysis, haha, but that’s okay! We’re blessed by the quality. ;-)

#did you know #i love data #hahaha #also i think there's a lot to be said about the most popular fandoms mostly being mlm ships #which they touch on in the daily dot article #but anyway #i hope this answers your question anon!#it's a p interesting topic #nbc good girls #fandom #welcome to my ama #Anonymous

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mostlycompetentwriter · 4 years

Text

Neverending Story

F/M Pairing: Y/N x Seo Changbin (Stray Kids)

Word Count: 11K

Genre: Married Life AU

Warnings: Smut and Language

Summary: Y/N met her husband unexpectedly, and their subsequent relationship has been anything but predictable. But Changbin has always agreed to give Y/N whatever she wanted, but that is suddenly put to the test when Y/N takes things a step too far.

Note: The Holy Trinity of 3racha Married AUs is complete. @lordseochangbin I hope you don’t mind that I tagged you, but this is the fic inspired by that gifset from earlier this week.

Han Jisung had promised me a substantial raise, but after looking out over the podium to appraise the crowd of rich businessmen, I suddenly regretted ever agreeing to work for him in the first place. Because my boss was currently lying in his fancy upstate apartment dying of the flu while I was standing in his place with cue cards in hand to deliver an eloquent speech to a bunch of men who would probably laugh at my expense. But let’s also not forget to mention the fact that I’ve always been extremely introverted which meant that public speaking equated to sweat-drenched palms and the nervous sway to my gait as I rocked back and forth on my feet with hands behind my back.

“Hello,” I spoke into the microphone, wincing when my voice echoed over the speakers. Apparently, the audio feedback in this ballroom was something out of the early 20th century before people had figured out how to work a sound system. “On behalf of Mr. Han,” I said, resisting the urge to lick away the last remnants of my cheap lipstick. “He would like to thank everyone for their support with his new summer project.”

A light smattering of applause, probably from those arrogant benefactors who liked to come into the office to kiss Jisung’s ass and compliment him on all of his successes. They didn’t mean a single word of the bullshit spewing from their mouths, especially the women who openly gaped at him right in front of my desk. “In regards to the company’s s-stocks,” I said, stuttering over the word while fumbling with my notecards. I couldn’t remember the last time I had been this nervous, mind working a mile a minute as I tried to desperately compose myself.

And because everything was already progressing this poorly, I started to lose my grip on the stack of notecards aiding my speech, watching as they fell to the ground and spread completely out of order. I immediately dropped to my knees, hurriedly gathering the notecards back into my grasp before inwardly cursing Han Jisung for what had to be the hundredth time that evening. I managed to collect the notecards together on top of the podium before gazing out into the unamused collection of wealthy aristocrats. “I’m sure it had something to do with fourth-quarter profits,” I said while clearing my throat. “Thank you for coming.”

I rushed off the stage without another word, drenched in sweat and failure, determined to make it out of the building before someone else could comment on the unfortunate incident. It reminded me of a similar calamity involving my asshole of an ex-boyfriend who had left me high and dry at one of his seminars to apologize to the people who paid to see his lecture. Why were the men in my life always determined to embarrass me?

With rapid steps, I was nearly out the door before an unfamiliar hand wrapped itself around my wrist. I paused with a wince, turning around to look at the rather handsome gentleman who was waiting patiently behind me. “I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly, assuming he must have something to do with the event. I’m sure he was not pleased with my humiliating display, especially when tonight's proceedings had been touted as a professional gathering. “Mr. Han couldn’t make it tonight and I was trying to fill in for him. Please don’t let this reflect badly on the company.”

A smirk graced his sharp features. “Don’t apologize. I thought it was great.”

“Excuse me?”

“The speech was great,” the man continued, dark hair falling into his eyes like a curtain. He let go of my wrist before offering me a more professional greeting. “Seo Changbin.”

“Seo?” I repeated, searching my mind for any mention of that name. I dealt with a lot of rich men when it came to scouring the city for potential leads, sorting through dozens of profiles every day I walked into the office. Usually with a cup of coffee in hand because Jisung wouldn’t be able to function otherwise.

“I own a line of hotel chains,” Changbin nodded. “Does that sound more familiar?”

His tone was teasing. “I do remember now, Mr. Seo.”

“Ah, don’t call me that,” he insisted. “You don’t have to put on an act like the others.”

I smiled at his easy-going nature. “Well, I’m glad you were at least entertained by my speech.”

Changbin glanced up at the door behind me. “Were you leaving already?”

I followed his gaze, albeit more hesitantly now. “I was planning to.”

“Good,” Changbin said, tucking his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he leaned in closer. “Mind if I join you?”

I was flushed for an entirely new reason now. “I would be honored.”

Han Jisung was the greatest employer in the world, and I would do everything in my power to serve as his PA in the future. Because I would owe Jisung a million heartfelt expressions of gratitude for asking me to deliver a speech in his absence. Leading me to one of the most gorgeous men I had ever met since the insanely attractive graduate student who served as a TA for my college writing seminar.

But it was hard to think about Jisung, or anything rational for that matter when my legs were practically bent at my chest, lungs devoid of oxygen while Seo Changbin proceeded to fuck me into the mattress. It was a really nice mattress too, compliments of the fancy hotel suite he had reserved for the weekend. I was rapidly coming to the conclusion that Changbin was a very wealthy man who had way too many muscles and a cock that stretched the sensitive walls of my pussy with every subsequent thrust deep inside to the point where it felt like he was spearing me against the bed.

Not that I minded in the slightest as I ran my hands down the smooth contours of his back, moaning loudly against his shoulder. It was completely unfair for someone to look this good, and I had nearly lost my mind when he had crawled between my legs, fingers deftly undoing the buttons of his shirt to reveal an upper-body straight out of the Men’s Health magazine. Because fate had deemed me fortunate enough to have the opportunity to fuck someone who belonged in my erotic fantasies, dick heavy on my tongue as I blew him under the desk in his office.

“Changbin,” I groaned, thighs trembling from their current position.

“You’re cumming, aren’t you, Y/N?” he asked in a raspy voice thick with lust and an irresistible baritone.

“Yes,” I managed around a gasp because Changbin had started to thumb across my clit with practiced movements, intentions perfectly clear as he leaned back to watch the way my back arched towards the ceiling. It had been a long time since someone had made me cum like that and I was still high from the effects of my orgasm while Changbin chased his release with several more slow grinds in exaggerated succession before filling the condom with a grunt.

I was fighting for air, sweat dripping from my bangs as Changbin fell onto the bed next to me. “How long have you been working out?”

Changbin chuckled. “Since high school.”

“It really shows,” I said, twisting my head to the side because I couldn't get enough of his firm biceps.

Changbin reached across the bed, fingers sliding through his cum dripping from the folds of my labia. “I haven’t asked for your number yet, Y/N.”

My entire body lit with excitement at his words because there was a very obvious intention in such an innocent comment. It meant that Changbin wanted to see me again, and I would give absolutely anything to feel his cock sliding in and out at his own luxury. Of course, there would be a lot of things he would come to ask me for in the future and very rarely would I ever tell him no, especially once he slipped a gorgeous diamond ring onto my finger.

I would also come to learn that there are few things my husband cannot resist in this world and the opportunity to fuck me over the kitchen counter was definitely one of them. I rarely woke up early enough to cook breakfast, so on the rare chance that I managed to obey my alarm clock, I would trudge into the kitchen wearing nothing but one of Changbin’s college t-shirts to pull out a carton of eggs from the fridge. It was the least I could do for my husband since he was always the more romantic one in our relationship.

Lured by the smell of coffee and bacon, Changbin found me in the kitchen, twisting my shirt around my waist to push his cock deep inside. Bracing my elbows against the rough marble of the countertop, I did my best to spread my legs wide for him because nothing felt better in the morning than Changbin fucking me from behind, fingers digging bruises into the skin of my hip bones. “Where did this come from?” I gasped because Changbin had figured out how to roll his hips just right to grind my clit against the side of the worn surface.

“When you walk around the apartment wearing nothing but a shirt,” Changbin said, growling at my ear. “I have to fuck you like the little slut you want to be.”

“Why didn’t you just say so?” I smirked, receiving a firm smack on my ass for my sarcastic question.

“Is that what you want?” Changbin asked, encouraged by my loud moans.

“What if I showed up to your office dressed like this?”

“You better not,” he grumbled, hands sliding up my shirt to squeeze my breasts. “These are for my eyes only.”

“Greedy,” I moaned, pushing back against him because I was desperately chasing a good orgasm.

“It’s your fault,” Changbin said, picking up the pace once he started detecting the familiar signs of my impending release. But at this point in time, we knew everything about one another’s bodies. And Changbin always managed to hit even deeper, reaching further and further inside with every aggressive meeting of our hips, the lewd sounds mingling with our moans.

“I was feeling particularly horny this morning,” I replied, finally letting go after a strategic thrust that snapped the chord anchoring me to reality. Changbin followed soon after, grinding his cock as he rode out his own orgasm. And despite my oversensitivity, Changbin ignored my whines and shoved his cum back where it belonged.

“Alright, Mrs. Seo,” he said, chuckling at the sluggish way I pulled myself back onto my feet, shirt falling back into place. “Will you shower with me before I go to work?”

“What about breakfast?”

“I guess I’ll just have you instead,” he said and I grimaced at the cheesy comment.

Jisung was always late in the mornings, but he could get away with it because nobody would criticize the CEO. But his status didn’t mean that Minho, Jisung’s closest advisor, was any less of a nuisance when he complained to anyone who would listen. Which was often me because my desk was located right next to Jisung’s office. “It’s like he doesn’t care,” Minho whined.

I nodded my head slowly, focused on responding to the emails flooding my inbox. “He’s got a lot on his mind.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Minho immediately opposed. “He’s just lazy! I get up every morning at the crack of dawn to come into the office. Why can’t he do the same?”

I glanced up wearily to reply because Minho was probably expecting me to agree with everything he was saying. Graciously, I was relieved of that unnecessary burden when I saw Seungmin walking in our direction. “Minnie!”

I waved him down desperately and he offered me a smile with his cell phone in hand. “Y/N,” he said, handing me the device from over the counter, blatantly ignoring a sour Minho. “My dog had her puppies.”

I immediately cooed at the sight of the tiny little Dalmations, squealing at the sight of their tiny ears. “Seungmin, they’re adorable!”

The younger boy grinned. “You know you’d be the first person on my list since I’m looking for new homes.”

“I don’t know, Seungmin,” I said, reluctantly returning his phone. “Changbin would be really mad if I brought home a dog.”

“Changbin? Mad at you?” Seungmin scoffed. “That’s impossible, Y/N.”

“Changbin gives you whatever you want,” Minho added as if unable to resist jumping into our conversation.

“But not this,” I said. “One time, I thought it might be nice to bring home a fish for the apartment, but when Changbin saw it on the coffee table, he complained for hours about how gross they were. If I even mention a dog, Changbin immediately changes the subject.”

“Well, I guess it never hurts to ask,” Seungmin said with a shrug. “But they really do need new homes. They’ll be old enough in a few weeks to leave their mother.”

“Don’t try to talk me into this,” I said, shooting him a glare. “You know I have a weak resolve.”

“What if you at least come over this afternoon to see them?” Seungmin asked as if blatantly ignoring my last demand.

“Can I come too?” Minho asked. “You know how boring it gets around here.”

“As long as you can at least pretend you might take one,” Seungmin said. “I’m sure your cats would be thrilled.”

“My cats are angels,” Minho said. “They would love a new friend.”

“To torment,” I said. “Won’t they get jealous when you give the puppy all of your attention?”

“My babies know how to share,” Minho replied. “They were taught well.”

“I’d hate to see you as a teacher,” Seungmin said, receiving a glare in response.

The conversation ended there, but the subject remained a heavy point of focus for the remainder of the day. I couldn’t stop thinking about the puppies, finding myself distracted during the most menial of tasks. I even managed to completely ignore Jisung’s greeting because I was so lost in my thoughts. Subsequently, my boss had stood at the front of my desk to snap his fingers in my line of vision. “Y/N?”

“Sorry, sir,” I apologized immediately, blushing because I knew I should be focused on my work.

And I knew that agreeing to visit Seungmin’s puppies would definitely be a horrible idea. The minute they looked at me with adorable button noses and innocent eyes, I would be breaking down and demanding to have one for myself. I knew this would happen, but I still tortured myself and drove with Seungmin back to his apartment, falling in love a dozen times over with each and every single puppy who subsequently chewed on my frayed sandals or plopped themselves right in the middle of my lap. “You’ve ruined me,” I told Seungmin because there was no way I wasn’t bringing home a puppy and that only meant trouble.

Changbin absolutely hated the idea of pets and had repeatedly denied me every time we walked past a pet shelter or saw a dog during our walks through the park. I could never understand why he was so adamantly opposed, but I figured it had something to do with the fact that he was an obsessive clean freak who liked everything in his life to be controlled. Puppies were a factor one simply couldn’t plan for and they tended to possess destructive tendencies, especially when it came to the things they really believed were toys instead of expensive shoes.

“I’ll call you when you can pick one up,” Seungmin said, following me to the door of his apartment.

“What am I doing?” I groaned loudly, pointing an accusing finger in Seungmin’s direction. “I’m holding you personally accountable.”

Seungmin offered me a grin. “Tell Changbin to call me.”

Eight weeks later, I chose a strategic day when I knew Changbin would be coming home late from work because of a board meeting. Subsequently, I snuck the small Dalmatian puppy upstairs into our apartment, holding tight to its wriggling body before she immediately made her presence known the moment I put her down on the floor. “Don’t pee there,” I said, ushering her away from the pricey carpet Changbin had bought for the foyer.

My plan was to hide her in the guest bathroom, praying that she would keep from barking too loudly when Changbin came home. “Changbin’s going to kill me,” I thought to myself while opening the door for the excited puppy who ran inside to smell the low hanging duvet with curiosity.

Changbin rarely raised his voice around me, and I could only think of a few incidents where Changbin and I had truly fought. Most of the time, it was because of his mother who quite simply hated the idea of her son being with someone who didn’t come from money. There was also the issue of me working for Jisung because Changbin would prefer it if I stayed at home, but that definitely wasn’t happening. I stood my ground against him, making my case until he had reluctantly relented, muttering something about how he had enough money to take care of both of us.

However, in neither of those cases had I ever went behind Changbin’s back to do something that I knew he would hate. Of course, I had also never wanted something as bad as the adorable puppy who had stolen my heart the minute she first wagged her tail while I carefully stroked the soft fur of her ears. “Changbin will understand,” I said to the puppy who cocked her head to the side as she watched me. “For now you can stay in here until I think of a better way to introduce you.”

Bang Chan was one of those people who never acted like he had enough money to buy the entire city of New York. He was funny and laid back, laughing with everyone despite whether or not they were a big donor or just an employee. He was one of Changbin’s best friends and he always invited the two of us to his parties at his extravagant condo. As an invitation-only affair, Chan’s parties had become the envy of anyone who was denied the opportunity to attend. More often than not, the parties became a friendly get-together which meant that some of Changbin’s other friends would also be attending. But Hyunjin and Felix always drank way too much beer to be considered appropriate for what was deemed a “suit and tie only” event.

“You look gorgeous,” Changbin said as we waited outside the door.

“Well, it’s hard not to look good in this dress,” I said because, despite my refusal, Changbin had insisted on buying it for me. Then again, I still wasn’t quite used to watching Changbin pull out his credit card for something that cost nearly half a million dollars.

“Aren’t you glad I bought it?” Changbin asked, reaching over to finger the delicate lace outlining the dress’ neckline.

“I’ll be even more satisfied when you take it off later,” I said casually, smirking at his sharp inhale as the door suddenly opened to reveal Chan standing on the other side.

“You’re late!” he lightly chastised us, pulling Changbin inside by the hand with more force than necessary. I grinned at the affectionate display, removing my jacket for the server who waited next to the entryway adorned in an elegant suit. “How was the meeting?” Chan asked, making easy conversation as he led us to a nearby waiter holding a tray of flutes filled with champagne.

“They liked the presentation,” Changbin replied, handing me a glass. “I think some of the new trustees favored the last approach.”

“Of course they do,” Chan nodded. “But you know that you can do whatever you want. It’s impossible to satisfy everyone.”

“I know,” Changbin said, curling an arm around my waist to keep me close to his side. Not that I minded considering the sea of unfamiliar faces who all swarmed to Changbin like he was a celebrity. I guess in their world he was, but it might be funny to tell them about how soft he got after I jerked him off under the sheets.

You see, Chan was the general manager of Changbin’s largest hotel and he always did his best to ease the burden that Changbin took responsibility for as he oversaw dozens of hotels and thousands of employees. Felix and Hyunjin also helped where they could, not just as friends but as personal assistants to Changbin at the main office. And I happen to know from experience that nobody made a better cup of coffee than Hwang Hyunjin.

Felix was also dating one of my best friends who I had introduced him to while Changbin and I were still dating, inviting a plus one for the grand opening of his very first hotel expansion. I was surprised when Felix demonstrated just how loving he could be because Changbin often told me horror stories of Felix’s more play boyish tendencies back when they went to college together. However, Felix had been nothing but polite and loving towards my friend since the moment the two first met over a few too many glasses of wine.

“Rina,” I smiled warmly, graciously accepting her invitation to talk outside on Chan’s balcony because the party was suffocating inside.

“Let me see the pictures!” my friend squealed, practically jerking the cell phone from my grasp. “Cute!” Rina declared, scrolling through my camera roll. “And Changbin doesn’t know? I really do admire you.”

“Well, if you were any louder, he might find out,” I said, checking over my shoulder to ensure that Changbin was still in deep conversation with Felix. “I heard you visited Felix’s parents the other day.”

Rina groaned, handing me back my phone. “I’m pretty sure they hate me. I made the worst impression possible.”

“What did you do?” I asked, rolling my eyes because Rina had a tendency to go overboard.

“Well, for one thing, when his mother asked for help with the food, I may have accidentally started a small kitchen fire.”

“You know, it really doesn’t matter if the fire is small or not.”

“Yeah,” Rina agreed sheepishly.

“Does that mean things are okay with between you and Felix?” I took a sip of my wine, thinking my question innocent enough until I heard Rina let out a shaky breath. “What is it?”

Rina shook her head, leaning out over the balcony. “Felix is acting weird these days. He comes home late now and he doesn’t bother paying me much attention.”

“Felix?” I immediately questioned because I wanted to make sure we were talking about the same boy who bought every single bouquet of roses in the flower shop on Main Street for their anniversary.

Rina suddenly moved in closer, eyes carefully ensuring that no voices were potentially listening. “I think Felix is cheating on me.”

“Rina,” I gasped because the accusation was incredibly serious. “Why would you think that? After he just took you home to his parents?”

“I think he just did that because I kept insisting,” Rina huffed. “I’m serious here, Y/N. There’s something going on with him.”

I wracked my brain for any indication that Felix might have said something to offer justification for Rina’s claim. “But how can you be sure?”

“I can’t,” Rina said. “That’s why I’m going into the office tomorrow night.”

“The office?”

“He’s probably meeting her there.”

“Who?”

“Haven’t you been listening?” Rina hissed. “Felix comes home really late all of a sudden and he doesn’t talk to me about why?”

“That’s just how Felix is.”

“You don’t know him like I do,” Rina said, dismissing my comment. “I’m planning to follow him. See what he’s really doing.”

“Rina, this sounds like a horrible idea.”

“As bad as sneaking a dog into Changbin’s apartment?”

“They can’t even be compared,” I exclaimed. “And I plan to tell Changbin about the dog.”

“Good luck with that,” Rina sneered, fingers tapping the side of her wine glass. “Can you at least come with me tomorrow?”

“To spy on Felix?”

“As a precaution,” Rina said as if that improved the situation.

“Rina, you need to trust Felix. I don’t think he would do anything like this to hurt you.”

“Please, Y/N,” Rina said, reaching out for my hand. “Best friends are supposed to come before boys.”

“Don’t use that against me,” I said. “Besides, how do you expect us to just sneak into the office?”

“Leave that to me,” Rina said, patting my shoulder as if to show her appreciation. “Just tell your man that we’re going out for the night.”

“Fine, but you owe me big time.”

Nevertheless, why did it have to be so cold for our impromptu spy mission?

“Don’t say I never did anything nice for you,” I commented dryly, gazing out at Changbin’s office building from across the street. “We’re definitely going to get caught.”

“Not with that attitude,” Rina said. “Are you ready?”

“I suppose I have no choice,” I grumbled.

“Felix didn’t respond to my last message,” Rina said, already making her way out of the car. “But I saw that he was parked in the garage.”

“Changbin’s still here too,” I said with a shiver because I had been desperately hoping that my husband would leave on time for once. However, the moment he found out that I was going out with Rina, he called up Hyunjin and told him that tonight would make a great time to work on their new project. “At least he won’t accidentally wander into the guest bedroom and find Jane in the bathroom.”

“Wouldn’t that be hilarious though?” Rina giggled. “Changbin is going to throw a fit when he finds that dog.”

“He hasn’t noticed anything so far,” I said, although he came very close to suspicion in bed the other night when he realized that something that sounded a lot like barking was emanating through the walls.

“Y/N, you can’t hide that dog forever, but I need your full attention tonight,” Rina said, snapping her fingers while she pointed at the office near the top where Felix worked. “I have someone on the inside who’s gonna help us.”

I had a bad feeling about this mysterious insider that was only confirmed the moment Jeongin stepped outside to greet us at the front. “That figures,” I muttered because Jeongin practically idolized Rina who always showered him in affection. If Rina and Felix weren’t so obviously in love, Jeongin would be the first person to show up on Rina’s doorstep with a bouquet of flowers in hand.

“Changbin and Hyunjin are in a meeting,” Jeongin explained as he led us to the elevators. “Felix should still be in his office, but he mentioned something about leaving before I came downstairs.”

Jeongin was also Felix’s intern and I highly doubted that he would appreciate the younger’s blatant participation in Rina’s witch hunt. “Perfect,” Rina nodded. “Now tell Y/N about that woman that Felix keeps meeting with.”

Jeongin turned to me with a gasp. “I have no idea who she is, Y/N, but she’s showed up every day this week!”

“See!” Rina exclaimed, waving her hands around like she had suddenly solved the world’s greatest crisis.

“I don’t see anything,” I told her, stoically unmoved when we arrived at our designated floor. “Felix meets with a lot of people. I don’t know if you’re aware, but he kinda works for a pretty big business.”

“We’ll see about that,” Rina declared, heels loudly clicking against the floor as we followed our newly appointed Jeongin tour guide. He led us to one of the desks outside of Felix’s office, searching through some reports until he found what he was looking for, handing it to Rina. “This is the last spreadsheet for all the transactions from Felix’s company credit card.”

“They’re from the same restaurant,” Rina said, reading over the list with narrowed eyes.

“Business meetings,” I said.

“Or, he’s treating this homewrecker to sushi and bad soju,” Rina said. “What else do you have, Jeongin?”

The younger boy obediently knelt down to open another drawer, but let out a little gasp when he jerked on Rina’s arm and forced the two of them on the floor. “Get down!” he hissed, but I reacted late to his sudden warning, realizing my mistake a moment too late when Changbin was already calling my name from somewhere to my right.

“Distract him,” Rina whispered urgently, tugging on my jeans.

I rolled my eyes but tried to put on my best smile when Changbin stopped on the other side of Jeongin’s desk. “Y/N,” he said, clearly surprised to see me. “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I’d visit you on my way home,” I lied smoothly, resisting the urge to kick out at Rina in her vulnerable position.

“Where’s Rina?” he asked, arms flexing enticingly in his tight-fit shirt.

“Probably at home,” I said, before trying on my best pout. “Are you not happy to see me?”

Changbin’s expression immediately softened. “Of course I am, Y/N,” he said. “I’m glad you came by. I’m leaving soon so we can ride home together.”

“Perfect,” I said, stepping away from the desk to eagerly lead Changbin further away from where my best friend was hiding. I also didn’t stop him when his strong arms encouraged me into the firm expanse of his chest, cologne heavy against his neck.

“Do you need anything?” Changbin asked while calling for the elevator.

I glanced over his shoulder at Jeongin who was trying to tell me something, but I quickly determined that he would be really bad at the whisper challenge. “I’m okay,” I said, clutching tightly to his arm as led me downstairs.

Seungmin and Minho were acceptable lunch buddies and despite their near-constant arguing, I still sat with them in the company’s cafeteria, enjoying whatever organic food they planned to serve that day. “How is the puppy, Y/N?” Seungmin asked over a mouthful of potatoes.

“She’s great,” I said, unable to resist a smile at the thought of my charming new friend.

“Does Changbin know?”

“Not yet,” I said, hesitantly poking at my salad. “But I have a plan to fix that tonight.”

“Is that so?” Minho butted in, studying me from across the table. “Maybe he could buy you a new apartment across the city.”

“That’s not necessary,” I said. “Because I plan to thoroughly convince him.”

“Sounds like an innuendo to me,” Minho said, reaching out for my hand. “Congratulations, Y/N, you’ve finally figured out the real purpose of marriage.”

“Manipulation,” Seungmin concluded.

“Stop it you two,” I groaned. “I’m not manipulating Changbin.”

“Seduction sounds like manipulation to me.”

“I’m merely encouraging him to change his mind,” I said, ignoring their unnecessary commentary.

“By dicking him down, I get it,” Minho nodded. “I’ve done the same things to my girlfriends.”

“No wonder you’re still single,” Seungmin said earning him a flick across his forehead. “Ow!”

“I’m sure Changbin has affection for animals somewhere deep down inside,” I continued. “He’ll be so much happier with a dog around the apartment.”

“Or he’ll be really furious,” Seungmin said. “I guess if you really need to return the puppy, I can always take her back.”

“No,” I whined at the thought. “We’ve already bonded.”

“Well, if it comes down between your bond with man’s best friend and the man, which would you rather choose?” Minho asked.

I really hated them both sometimes.

There were three things that Seo Changbin truly loved: 1. His family 2. His wife and 3. His wife in lingerie. Which is exactly what he was going to get the moment he stepped inside that door. Because tonight, I needed to do everything in my power to appeal to him.

I nodded in satisfaction as I studied my appearance in the floor-length mirror in our bedroom, adjusting the thin fabric of my stockings as they ran up the expanse of my thighs, attached to the garter belt Changbin had bought me for my birthday. Once I was satisfied, I tugged on a silky black robe, loosely tying the belt around the middle. “Perfect,” I declared.

Next, I made sure that Changbin’s favorite food was ready, table set with our finest cutlery. I also pulled out his favorite wine, filling two glasses while keeping the bottle cool in a bucket of ice. Finally, I lit a few candles around the table and the perimeter of the dining room, trying for a romantic mood since Changbin was secretly a huge fun of those extravagances.

“Do it for Jane, Y/N,” I whispered to myself, flinching when I heard the sound of Changbin’s key in the lock.

My husband called out my name and I directed him to the dining room, pleased when his eyes immediately froze on my attire. “Y/N?”

“Binnie,” I grinned, taking a seat on the edge of the table, kicking out one of the chairs as an invitation. “I made your favorite.”

Changbin tugged at the tie messily wrapped around his collar, taking my hint and planting himself down next to me. One hand caressed my exposed leg through the fabric of my robe while he looked up at me with dark eyes. “What’s all this for?”

“For you, of course,” I smiled, reaching back to grab a strawberry, holding it up to his lips.

Changbin took the offered fruit, eyes never leaving mine. “Is there something you want, Y/N?”

Changbin knew me too well, but I kept up the act, sliding down the table and into his lap. My thighs were planted on either side of his body and Changbin delicately traced the lace lining of my stockings to the place where they disappeared beneath fabric. “Does there have to be a reason?” I asked, wrapping my arms around his neck.

“No,” Changbin agreed, eager hands working the belt of my robe. “But there usually is.” He was silent for a moment as he drew the sleeves down my shoulders, leaving me completely on display for his eyes to leisurely explore. “You can tell me, honey.”

“I can?” I asked breathlessly, planting kisses across his forehead while his fingers dug into my ass to pull me even closer.

“Whatever you want,” Changbin agreed, hands smoothing across the skin of my stomach while he started to slowly grind his hips against mine. He was impossibly hard beneath the tight material of his fitted slacks, cock moving perfectly in time with the little moans he forced out of me. I was practically drooling at the thought of Changbin’s cock, stretching my lips across the head and tasting his precum.

“Binnie,” I gasped, jittery fingers working apart the buttons on his shirt to reveal the smooth skin of his chest, groping my hands against his defined pectoral muscles.

“Yeah, baby?” he said, reaching up to taste my lips. “You want me to fuck you on the table?”

“Please,” I whimpered, holding onto his biceps to feel his impossible strength while he practically manhandled me into place, looming over my trembling body while his eyes made a luxury trip of exploring my exposed skin. I wrapped my legs around his waist to encourage him closer, wanting nothing more than to feel his cock...

“Did you hear that?”

I froze under him, detecting resistance from Changbin whose eyes were now devoid of lust as he lifted his head in concentration. It was then that I heard it, an alarmingly loud whine from Jane in the guest bedroom which was suddenly way too close to ignore.

Changbin immediately stopped everything he was doing. “Please tell me you can hear it too?”

“Hear what?” I asked nervously, attempting to draw his attention back to me and it might have worked had Jane not decided to let out a series of playful barks and I suddenly regretted leaving her alone with a new toy.

“It’s something,” Changbin said, tone much darker as he ordered me to unwrap my legs from their vicelike grip around his waist. I obeyed hesitantly because my plan was falling apart at the seams and I had a bad feeling about what might happen next.

Slowly, I followed him as he marched to the guest bedroom, opening the door like a man on a mission. And I doubt I’ll ever forget the way Jane immediately darted from the bathroom, sniffing Changbin’s shoes before waddling in my direction, plastic bone hanging from her mouth. “Y/N,” Changbin said, watching me as I picked up Jane off the floor. “Do you mind explaining to me why there’s a dog in the guest room?”

“It’s nothing bad,” I said, holding even tighter to Jane. “I may have adopted her-”

“What!” Changbin cut me off with a sharp interrogative. “How long has it been living here?”

“She,” I corrected him, “has been living here for a week or so...”

“A week!” Changbin exclaimed. “You’ve kept a dog hidden in here for a week?”

“Well, I didn’t plan on hiding her forever,” I said, fingers moving nervously through Jane’s soft fur.

“Get rid of it,” Changbin barked, looking every bit the intimidating CEO whose annual salary easily eclipsed my entire family net worth.

“Changbin,” I said softly. “Please don’t say that.”

“This is my house,” Changbin growled. “And I will not have it trashed by that thing.”

“I thought it was my house too?” I asked with narrowed eyes.

Changbin seemed taken aback, but he was not deterred for long. “Of course it is, but you know I don’t want any animals living here.”

“But she’s really clean,” I said. “And I’m training her every day!”

“I don’t care,” Changbin snapped. “I want to see it gone tomorrow morning, do you understand?”

“Changbin,” I whimpered, eyes clouding with the promise of tears. “You said you’d give me whatever I want.”

I know it sounds selfish, but I was growing increasingly desperate as it became more and more apparent that Changbin had already made up his mind. “I meant something like clothes, Y/N,” Changbin said. “Not a living pest.”

“She’s not a pest,” I insisted. “Jane is really sweet.”

“Oh great, you’ve named it,” Changbin grumbled, reaching for his cellphone.

“Who are you calling?”

“Animal control,” Changbin muttered and I immediately reacted.

“Don’t call them!” I exclaimed. “At least give her a better home than that horrible place.”

“Then find her one,” Changbin said. “You get one week before I handle it myself.”

“What an asshole,” I snarled.

“I agree,” Rina nodded, offering Jane a few treats when my puppy clambered onto the sofa next to us. In spite of Changbin’s dismissal, I found a refugee for both myself and Jane in Rina’s shared apartment with Felix. “I don’t see what the big deal is anyway. Changbin can’t possibly be that averse to something so cute.”

“It’s not like I brought home a child,” I said, frowning at my phone screen when Changbin sent yet another text message. “I hope he knows I’m not coming home tonight. If he kicks Jane out, then I’m leaving too.”

“You can keep me company instead,” Rina said. “Felix never comes around anymore so it’s just like college again.”

“Except we have more than just ramen in the kitchen.”

“Not to mention this sweetie,” Rina added, lifting Jane into her arms. “Who needs a man around anyway?”

“At least your man is okay with Jane living here for a few days,” I said. “I guess I’ll have to ask Seungmin to take her back.”

“You shouldn’t have to, Y/N,” Rina sighed. “It’s unfortunate that Changbin hates the puppies. I’d even keep Jane for myself but I think she’d be much happier with someone who isn’t prone to forgetting to even feed herself.”

I snorted. “That would be better than the pound. Can you believe he tried to call animal control?”

“Seo Changbin?” Rina snickered. “Nothing he does surprises me. This is the same person who rented out an entire restaurant just to propose to you.”

“Don’t bring up our happy memories,” I complained. “I’m supposed to be mad at him right now.”

“Then be mad at him,” Rina shrugged. “Honestly speaking, if he can’t see how important this is to you, then he doesn’t deserve to call you his wife in the first place.”

“This isn’t a deal-breaker,” I said. “I just wish he would understand how I feel.”

“Analytical types like Changbin are incapable of empathy,” Rina said. “It’s a proven fact, Y/N. He’ll still think he’s right when the two of you are retired somewhere in a tropical paradise.”

“Ugh, he’s so stubborn.”

“Takes after his mother in that regard,” Rina said. “Remember at your wedding? She bawled her eyes out after giving that horrible speech where she basically implied that you were stealing away her only son.”

“She’s the mistress of Evil,” I nodded. “They share that characteristic. Both of them can be downright mean when they want to be.”

“I guess that’s why Changbin has been so successful,” Rina said. “Still doesn’t take away from the fact that he sometimes seems to forget you're his wife and not a stockholder.”

I let out a deep breath. “What about you and Felix?”

“Oh, he’s still distant and I’m half-way convinced that I’m being replaced by a supermodel with bigger tits.”

“I don’t think Felix would be that shallow.”

“I know,” Rina said, palming her breasts through her shirt. “They’re pretty big, right?”

“He doesn’t care about that,” I said. “And if I wasn’t so pissed at Changbin, I might ask him about this mystery girl.”

“We’ll have to go through the middle man,” she said, offering me a knowing look.

“Hwang Hyunjin,” we both agreed in perfect synchronization.

Luring Hyunjin out of the office building was as easy as promising a free lunch at his favorite restaurant. And when Hyunjin discovered that he would be meeting with both myself and Rina, he immediately jumped at the opportunity. Because Hwang Hyunjin was one of the most overdramatic people I knew and he never missed an opportunity to ensconce himself in everyone else's problems. “You know, Y/N,” he said through a sip of wine. “It would be nice if you at least pretended to like Changbin. He’s always intolerable at the office whenever the two of you fight.”

“I can’t even pretend to like him right now,” I said. “And, if you feel so inclined, you can pass on the message to him that I won’t be coming home tonight.”

“Oh, I can’t do that,” Hyunjin said, but it was impossible to miss the spark of mischief in his eyes. “Should I?”

“You can kick Changbin’s ass for all we care,” Rina said, already working through her third glass of chardonnay.

“But, of course, that’s not the reason we invited you here,” I said, earning me a curious look in return.

“It’s about Felix,” Rina said through gritted teeth. “And don’t bother trying to cover for him, Hyunjin, because you’re a terrible liar.”

“What did he do wrong this time?” Hyunjin scoffed, seemingly indifferent as he took a bite of his organic salad.

“That blonde he keeps meeting in the office,” Rina said, always ready to get straight to the matter at hand. “Who the hell is she?”

Hyunjin visibly blanched, choking on his current mouthful while desperately trying to wash down the rest of his glass. “What?”

“The. Blonde,” Rina repeated. “I know everything, so don’t try to hide the truth from me.”

“If you knew everything, you wouldn’t be asking me,” Hyunjin pointed out.

“Just tell me who she is!” Rina exclaimed, loud enough to attract the attention of several tables.

Hyunjin wilted under their accusatory stares. “I can’t tell you.”

“Hwang Hyunjin,” Rina started, hands clasping the edge of the table. “Don’t you dare try to cover up your friend’s extracurricular affairs.”

“Felix isn’t cheating on you,” Hyunjin snapped. “I can’t believe you would even think that.”

“It’s not hard to,” Rina defended herself, “when everyone is walking on eggshells around me. I feel like I’m in the middle of something but I’m not even allowed to know what it is!”

“Rina,” Hyunjin tried again, tone visibly calmer. “Trust me on this. Felix isn’t cheating on you and everything will start to make a lot of sense.”

I studied my friend, but she seemed completely unmoved, expression fierce as she glared down at her untouched plate of food.

My mother’s house was located almost an hour away from where Changbin and I lived in the city. My visits were less frequent because of the combination of distance and my inability to leave work early because Jisung couldn’t handle the office without me. But, since I needed someone to take care of Jane, I knew my mother might be the best solution. She also didn’t hesitate when I asked to spend the night away from Changbin. However, my mother was prone to exceeding selfishness when it came to spending time with me.

In any case, it was the last time I would be able to get away with my nightly escapades because Rina had brought me an invitation that morning to join herself, Felix, and several of their friends for a getaway at the beach. I reluctantly agreed to come since Felix insisted that it was important and Rina demanded she has her “partner in crime” next to her side all weekend. But I would be expected to share a room with Changbin which meant we would either argue even more or ignore each other awkwardly at every available opportunity.

The last time Changbin and I went anywhere with Felix and Rina was back when Changbin first started the company. We ended up stuck inside our hotel because it rained endlessly for the entire week we visited the Florida Keys. On the plus side, I did manage to watch a lot of good movies at the theatre, including a horror classic that was made even better when Changbin decided to stick his hand up my skirt. I’m pretty sure the couple next to us knew exactly what we were doing, and it was worth it to watch their expressions when I accidentally moaned during an intense scene involving a ghost and a clueless teenager.

Nevertheless, I usually loved going on trips with Changbin because he always planned the best surprises. Too bad he had already ruined this one because of his, for lack of a better term, “assholish” tendencies. And poor Jane shouldn’t have to suffer along with everyone else just because my husband hated cute animals.

“Y/N,” my mother grinned brightly, encouraging me inside while I carried Jane in my arms. “Isn’t she adorable!”

“At least some people think so,” I grumbled, putting Jane on the floor so that she could make herself comfortable.

“I can’t believe Changbin told you to get rid of her.”

“Really?” I huffed, leaning against the wall. “You were the one that warned me he would be, and I quote, a pompous ass.”

“Well,” my mother grimaced, “I thought he might prove me wrong.”

“And I’ll be stuck in the same room with him all weekend,” I groaned. “Felix and Rina owe me big time.”

“Or,” my mother allowed, “maybe you should thank them. The trip is a good opportunity to put this argument to rest.”

“You’re supposed to be on my side!”

“Honestly, Y/N, I know he was harsh, but you’re the one who went and got a dog behind his back. Plus, Jane can just stay here with me. It gives you a good excuse to visit more often.”

“You’re only saying that because you got a cute new puppy,” I muttered.

“Sweetheart,” my mother cooed, carefully guiding me to the counter. “I’ll always have your back, and I’d like to believe that I’m still the only person who can take care of you, but I think Changbin stole that title a long time ago.”

“He’s just infuriating sometimes,” I said.

My mother laughed. “All men are, Y/N, and you know you’ll have fights with Changbin. That’s what married couples do. The important thing is that the two of you can always come back together and forgive, even if the matter at hand is this cute.”

I grinned when my mother reached down to collect Jane into her arms. “I still don’t get how someone can hate a puppy.”

“Perhaps not hate,” my mother said. “But you should respect his opinion, even if you don’t agree with it.”

“He never asks me for anything,” I sighed. “I guess I made this into a bigger deal than it needed to be.”

“Trust me, sweetheart, you definitely get that from me,” my mother said. “Now, about you spending the night...”

“Yeah, I get it,” I grumbled. “I should go back home.”

“It’s not exactly mature of you to run away from him,” my mother pointed out as if I didn’t already feel guilty enough. “And it only makes it that much harder to fix things when you keep avoiding them.”

“Fine, I’ll go home,” I said, pulling out my phone to send Changbin a brief message. “You’re all wise and old now.”

My mother frowned. “Sweetheart, I don’t consider myself old.”

“Mom, the last time we went shopping, you had me come pick you up at the mall entrance because you didn’t feel like walking to the car.”

“Well, everyone has those days,” my mother said. “In any case, I should find somewhere for Jane to stay. Her mom is certainly welcome to come over any time.”

“Pretty sure her mom is Seungmin, but I appreciate the thought,” I said, lifting Jane from the ground to bring her closer. “You won’t forget about me, right?”

Jane considered with wide eyes before cautiously offering me a small lick on the cheek. “Yeah, I think we can make this work.”

Changbin’s car was already parked in his usual spot when I pulled into the complex. I was hoping he would stay at the office longer, but he probably left the moment he received my message. Straightening the hem of my skirt, I carefully entered the apartment, inwardly groaning when I could hear the sounds of the TV from the living room. I was still quiet when I shuffled across the carpet, but apparently, Changbin had been waiting on me. “Babe,” he murmured quietly as I passed by the couch.

Whispering a curse, I turned around to look at Changbin whose eyes were struggling to open as if he had been asleep when I came home. “Sorry,” I said in return, forcing my eyes to look away from his exposed chest, firm edges made softer under the light from the LED screen.

I made my way to our bedroom, deciding to pack as efficiently as possible because I was starting to get a headache which meant I wanted nothing more than to pass out on the bed. “Y/N,” Changbin spoke up softly, lingering by the door as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants. “How was your mother?”

“Fine,” I answered shortly, moving around our bedroom as quickly as possible because I was determined to avoid any sort of conversation with Changbin, cramming my t-shirts into the stupid designer suitcase he had bought for me.

“Are you tired?” he asked, looking irresistible with his messy hair and puffy cheeks.

“Yeah,” I said, carefully zipping my suitcase closed. I brought it next to his at the side of our dresser.

Changbin took a few more steps into the room, pausing next to the bed while I changed clothes quickly. “Is it alright if I sleep with you tonight?”

I really wanted to tell him, no, but it was rather difficult to refuse him when he was being sweet. At least he obviously understood that he was wrong for screaming at me like I was one of his assistants instead of his wife. “You can,” I told him, already pulling back the sheets of the comforter.

And I didn’t even resist when he climbed in behind me, wrapping an arm around my waist because he liked to keep me close in bed. “Y/N,” he whispered in my ear, fingers curling with mine. “You can keep the dog when we get back.”

“Binnie,” I murmured, attempting to protest because I wasn’t expecting Changbin to give in so easily. He really does give me whatever I want.

“It’s alright,” Changbin said, tenderly squeezing my waist, breath warm against the back of my neck. “We can talk about it later.” The combination of his familiar presence and the lovely feel of his fingers pulling through my hair was enough to lure me into a much-needed sleep.

Early morning flights were a pain in the ass and I was no exception to the demonizing effects of insomnia, especially when I felt guilty because Changbin had agreed to let me keep Jane only after I avoided him for several days. We didn’t talk about it on the drive to the airport. In fact, we didn’t talk much at all as Changbin turned up the volume on the radio while he drove with tired eyes. It had probably been difficult for him to take the whole weekend off for Felix’s getaway trip, and I hadn’t bothered to ask him how he was feeling.

Felix and Rina were waiting for us at the security line when we arrived with a few minutes to spare. Apparently, Hyunjin and Chan were already at the loading gate since they had arrived much earlier than everyone else. “It’s been a while since we’ve gone out of town together,” Rina remarked as she pulled me away from Changbin, leaving him to talk quietly with Felix.

“Excluding the first beach disaster?”

“Definitely,” Rina agreed, tossing an arm around my shoulders. “I convinced Felix to switch tickets with you. Now, my best friend can sit next to me instead.”

I nodded in reply since I had actually been looking forward to an opportunity to talk with Changbin on the airplane. It was probably best for both of us if we talked about what happened. Because the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was a rather stupid argument that definitely could have been avoided if I had been less inconsiderate of Changbin’s feelings. They might seem irrational, but they mattered and that’s all I could think about for the entirety of our flight to the island.

And if I thought I’d get a chance to talk to him when we landed, I was proven wrong. Because Felix enforced a tight schedule, barely allowing any of us to get settled in at the resort before he was already ordering us to change into something comfortable for the beach. The hotel itself was situated right on the shoreline, busy with fellow travelers looking to enjoy what was already becoming a gorgeous afternoon. And since Changbin happened to own the place, we were treated to the best care with a constant presence of wait staff who brought us drinks and food. “You get five stars, Changbin,” Rina remarked as she sat between Felix’s legs on his beach chair. “I see why everybody makes a big deal out of your expensive hotels now.”

“You’re welcome,” Changbin grumbled from where the two of us were situated on a comfortable beach towel. Changbin had long since dismissed his t-shirt, tentatively requesting that I apply a generous amount of sunscreen to his skin. And no matter how I felt towards Changbin, I would never turn down the opportunity to run my hands against the gorgeous muscles that supplied his well-built torso.

In the meantime, Hyunjin and Chan were arguing about whether or not the hotel in New York needed the same kind of luxury swimming pool that the six of us had spotted on our way outside. “If I knew they would be this loud, I would have left them behind,” Felix said, sunglasses resting on the brim of his nose.

“It’s Hyunjin, what did you expect?” Rina said, watching the two older boys bicker.

I nodded vacantly, growing tried from the influence of the sun. “What’s this surprise all about, Felix?” Rina asked her boyfriend, eyebrow raised in question.

Changbin jumped from his spot in front of me and I was startled when I realized I had massaged over his nipples. “You’ll see,” Felix said, a proud smirk making him look just as mischievous as he had been when we first met.

I couldn’t see Rina’s reaction since her glasses obscured most of her face. “Are you really going to keep me waiting?”

“Just until tonight, love,” Felix said, reassuring her with a gentle kiss that had my heart aching in my chest for Changbin despite him being in such close proximity.

I spent most of the early evening with Rina, wasting time shopping as we waited for our dinner reservations. “What do you think?” Rina asked, holding up a sundress that barely fell below her thighs.

“No,” I said, returning my attention to the magazine in front of me.

“Changbin has made you way too conservative,” she griped before disappearing back into the changing room. “But you seemed more relaxed around him today.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “I think I owe him an apology.”

“What for?” Rina asked. “He’s the one who almost sent for animal control to handle an innocent puppy.”

“I never should have tried to hide Jane in the first place,” I said. “Changbin doesn’t ask for much and I should have respected his preference.”

“Wow, since when have you grown up?” Rina asked, re-emerging from the dressing room. “That’s awfully mature of you.”

“I love him,” I nodded. “And that means more to me than anything else in the world.”

“Including me?” Rina feigned hurt while dramatically falling against a nearby display of sneakers.

I rolled my eyes, checking the time on my phone. “We should probably meet the others.”

“Alright,” Rina grumbled. “But I’m afraid of what Felix might say at dinner.”

“What makes you think it’s a bad thing?” I asked.

“Where have you been, Y/N? Don’t you remember all the drama? Felix avoiding me? Coming home late? Does any of this ring a bell?”

“I thought you moved on from that.”

“Never,” Rina insisted while curling her arm through mine. “I’m still on high alert.”

“You know how Felix can get sometimes,” I said.

“Of course I do! But he’s never acted like this before,” Rina insisted.

“Well, maybe you’ll get your answers tonight,” I said, leading her into the crowded seafood restaurant on the lower level of the hotel.

It must have bee massively popular because guests were patiently waiting in large parties scrambled throughout the main lobby. Rina and I fought our way to the hostess, allowing her to check our reservation before graciously leading us further away from the rampant group of hungry customers who were all attempting to talk over one another. Instead, the hostess brought us to a private room, clearly the work of Seo Changbin, where the others were already seated.

“Finally!” Hyunjin exclaimed. “Felix wouldn’t let us order until you got here.”

Felix ignored his friend, pulling out a chair for Rina. I could tell he was visibly nervous which was certainly concerning because Felix was one of the most confident people I knew. He was the friend in Changbin’s board meetings who was never shy about speaking up. The one person you could always rely on to sweet talk an additional 5% off our coffee bill in the main lobby because he only had to smile at the poor cashier working the register.

I glanced over at Changbin who was busy scanning the menu in front of him. Changbin didn’t seem worried at all which was reassuring, although it definitely didn’t mean that Felix necessarily told Changbin what he was planning for tonight. And the longer I studied the younger boy fidgeting in his seat, the more curious I became.

“You know, Chan,” Hyunjin said. “I’m surprised you didn’t bring that girl with you. Aren’t the two of you moving in together?”

I perked up at this new information. “Chan has a serious girlfriend?”

Chan and I had known each other for several years, but I was starting to conclude that the older man was planning to stay single for the rest of his life. Not that Chan didn’t make an elegant bachelor because the combination of his appealing good-looks, charming accent, and accumulating wealth was enough to cement his status. But then again, it might be nice to see Chan in a committed relationship because he would make the best father.

“It’s not that serious,” Chan said bashfully, ears tipped in red as he glanced around for the waitress.

“Whatever,” Hyunjin huffed, glancing between Felix and Rina with a barely concealed smirk. “You guys look great together.”

Felix glared at his friend. “You’re determined to spoil everything, aren’t you?”

“What does that mean?” Rina inquired, studying Felix curiously.

“Nothing,” Hyunjin said, immediately turning to me and Changbin. “Are the two of you still fighting?”

“Hyunjin,” I growled his name, determined once and for all that Hyunjin was intentionally trying to stir up more drama for his viewing pleasure.

“We’re alright,” Changbin said in a surprisingly gentle voice, one arm coming to rest across the back of my chair. “Here,” Changbin said, pulling my plate closer so that he could cut a few pieces of steak for me. “Your favorite.”

I blushed at his kindness, stuffing my mouth full of tender meant to avoid having to say anything in return. Thankfully, Felix was more than ready to interrupt our moment, abruptly standing up from his chair with a glass of wine in hand. “Everyone,” he said, immediately silencing our small party. “I have something to announce.”

I glanced over at Rina from the corner of my eyes, watching as she drew her bottom lip between her teeth. A nervous habit she picked up from countless nights of writing 10,000-word essays for our history seminar. “Rina,” Felix said, addressing my friend. “We’ve been together for a while.”

Rina nodded, seemingly frozen in place. At least until Felix dropped down onto one knee next to her, pulling out a beautiful gold-encrusted wedding band with diamonds circling the outside. “Marry me.”

My expression of shock likely mirrored Rina’s while Hyunjin clapped like a maniac from across the table. “Thank god! The secret is finally out!”

“Felix,” Rina finally managed, eyes growing cloudy with the promise of tears while she held out a shaky hand. Felix gently accepted her outstretched limb, sliding the ring into place on her finger.

“I’ll consider that a yes.”

I immediately turned to Changbin who was watching the two of them with fond eyes. It was quite obvious that he also knew about the proposal and I admired my husband’s ability to help his friend make this weekend so special. Changbin met my gaze with a beautiful smile, reaching underneath the table to take my hand without hesitation.

It was late when the six of us finally left the restaurant, listening to Rina gush over her new ring while clinging to Felix’s side persistently. Changbin and I lingered at the back, shoulders brushing with every step while keeping our pinky fingers interlocked between us. “That woman!” Rina suddenly exclaimed, pointing at a familiar blonde standing behind the concierge counter.

“She’s the hotel’s general manager,” Felix explained, sending a wave in her direction.

“Oh,” Rina said dumbly and my friend was very rarely caught off-guard. I definitely couldn’t wait to offer her a well-deserved “I told you so” when we met for breakfast in the morning. However, for the time being, I wanted nothing more than to go back to the room with Changbin.

“I can’t thank her enough,” Felix continued. “She’s been very helpful when it came to planning all of this.”

“Really?”

“She deserves a raise, Changbin,” Felix said, nudging his friend as the six of us broke off into smaller groups as we returned to our assigned rooms.

“Congratulations, Rina,” I said to my friend, watching her join Felix in the suite across from ours.

I waited until we were truly alone before I closed the door quietly, turning around to find Changbin fiddling with the lock on his Rolex. “Let me,” I said quietly, gliding across the floor to handle the delicate switch with nimble fingers.

“Thanks,” Changbin said, dropping the watch on top of the nightstand.

“Changbin,” I spoke up hesitantly. “I’m sorry for ignoring you.”

My husband shrugged, broad shoulders tense against the fit of his shirt. “It’s alright, Y/N.”

“No, it’s not,” I said, reaching out for his wrist to turn him around. “You didn’t deserve that, especially over something that was my fault to begin with.”

Changbin sighed, tugging me closer against him. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you.”

I pressed my forehead against the center of his chest. “You never ask me for much. In fact, you’re always the one who gives the most in our relationship. I should have respected your opinion. Instead, I went behind your back and I’ve felt guilty about it for the entire trip.”

“There’s no need for that,” Changbin insisted, fingers curling through my hair. “We’ve both made mistakes, but I can never stay mad at you for long.”

“I’ll let my mom have the dog,” I said, pressing my fingers against his plush lips before he could interrupt. “I’m serious. She’s much happier with Jane. Maybe, later on, we could try something smaller? Like a hamster!”

Changbin grimaced at the thought and I laughed at his expression. “Unless you just want me all to yourself.”

“That’s not it,” Changbin sighed. “I just don’t want that responsibility. Plus, I really don’t like the idea of a dog or cat in the apartment.”

“Well, I can always visit my mom when I want to see Jane,” I said, reaching up to fix the messy strands of his hair. “See? A compromise.”

Changbin smirked, leaning down for a kiss. “You make a better negotiator than I do. Maybe you should be in charge of the board.”

“I’ll let you handle things,” I said, running my hands along his stomach to the waistband of his jeans.

“I meant it when I said I would do anything to make you happy,” Changbin whispered against my hair. “Even if that means I have to fill the apartment with dogs.”

I grinned. “I like what we have now, Changbin.”

“That’s so cheesy,” he accused me, laughing when I whined in response. “I love you, Y/N,” he said.

“I love you too,” I said. “You’re basically just a giant puppy anyway.”

Changbin grunted as his hands gripped the back of my thighs. “Please don’t say that when I’ve already started making plans to fuck you until you’re screaming my name.”

I shivered at his seductive promise. “Oh yeah? I guess you’ll just have to prove it to me.”

#stray kids #stray kids fanfic #stray kids smut #seo changbin #seo changbin fanfic #seo changbin smut

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pagingevilspawn · 3 years

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listen... i’ve been a fan of winx club since i was five years old (nearly 10 years now). it was my obsession for six years straight. i wrote about it. i read about it. i had the backpacks and posters and taped recordings on my VCR. and yes, while some of the things they did in the reboot i wasn’t a huge fan of (no flora, tecna, and how musa was not the correct race) i still think fate: the winx saga is super good. why? well, here you go.

i was scrolling through the tag, because i wanted to reblog gifsets, and i see just a bunch of hate for it, and here’s what i saw.

1.) its too dark and mysterious.

-yeah, lemme tell you something. i’m a teenager. i know teenage girls and how they all react and what shows they will or will not watch (20 year olds, i promise you, you don’t know, please don’t act like you do) i can guarantee you that 95% of the teenagers i know would not watch a reboot of a CHILDRENS CARTOON where it’s... well kiddish. they weren’t aiming to do something like how they do in the scooby doo movies, where they all have the same colors and outfits, and say ‘ah darn’ because that doesn’t appeal to their target audience, teenagers. it would be made a laughing stock of, and thats not just embarrassing to the fans, but to all the people who worked on it. its not riverdale, and nowhere near close. ashamed to admit i’ve seen 3 ssns riverdale and that was just shit from the start that had no plot what so ever and if it did i though it was stupid.

2.) there was no tecna

-very valid. no complaints here. i completely agree. where’s my queen?

3.) no flora

-i also agree with this one. again, where’s my queen? but i do like how they incorporated terra, and i just hope that we’ll be able to see some of flora in season 2. but i think what they were trying to do here is that, they needed diversity in who they cast, and that includes weight. you wanna know the kind of negative outpour that would’ve come out if flora wasn’t this perfectly skinny girl with long legs and shiny brown hair? oh yeah, people would’ve been pissed.

4.) the relationship between stella and bloom

-i thought that what they did here was clever. rather than having diaspro be Sky’s ex, they chose Stella, but threw in some of the Diaspro qualities in there (the jealousy leading the disastrous acts). Now, again, coming from a teenage girl, watching a show about teenage girls, for teenagers... girls are catty. i hate to say that the stereotypes are true, but they are. you really wanna think that stella would be cool with bloom and sky flirting with each other when her and sky were kinda-sorta-but-not-really-but-also-yes-really-together? as much as i love winx club, we all need to admit that the plots were a bit... dense. which they were supposed to be. BECAUSE IT WAS A CHILDRENS TV SHOW. a show needs drama, and that includes internal drama, and man vs man drama. The issues between bloom and stella actually led to a lot of personal growth, and you can see that as the episodes go on. also, not all best friends are best friends at first. i’m excited to (hopefully) see them grow closer in season two, but the fact of the matter is is that not everyone immediately clicks with someone. and the competition aspect i saw being posted around? guys, its a tv show with pretty girls and a cute guy, there needs to be a bit of a cliche thrown in there.

5.) musa wasn’t asian.

-this is another one i agree with. i looked at the screen and was like.... ummmm that’s not right. i don’t think anything more needs to be said, because i do love elisha in the role, but it was just not correctly cast.

now, onto what i do love:

-the inclusion of the LGBTQIA. now, it’s a struggle with Dane, and its painted in a negative light, but the overall fact of the matter is that he’s struggling. And the show made sure to show that he was struggling.

-BOTH MALE AND FEMALE FAIRIES AND SPECIALISTS. yes!!!! do you know how happy this made me!!! so!!! freaking!!! happy!!! GETTING RID OF THE GENDER BIAS YES PLEASE!!!!!

-they weren’t long legged, stick think, big boobed girls in skimpy outfits. I love the og winx girls more than anything, but they weren’t how people looked. THESE WERE REAL PEOPLE. THEY SHOWED ETHNIC FEATURES, MOLES, CURVES, AND SO MUCH MORE. and!!!! they were all beautiful!!!

-the casting of abbey cowen as Bloom. I’m sorry, this is the most spot on casting i’ve ever seen in television history. they literally brought what i always imagined bloom to look like to life and i literally gasped when i saw her for the first time. (also, like... amazing job on Danny Griffin as Sky. Literally couldn’t have been more spot one)

-it was mature. these were real teenagers, they swore, they smoked, they were real. they weren’t like how they were in the original winx, and thats really good, because no teenager behaves the way the winx do lol.

-the overall set and effects was immaculate.

-beatrix filling in for the trix? that was so cool and i thought the word play was so clever.

-plot twistssssss ooooooo

just my little take. the og winx will forever and always be superior, but saying that it was below dirt seems a bit harsh haha

#payton rambles #winx club #fate: the winx saga #just rewatched this lol

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softjeon · 4 years

Text

In love with your dark side | Final

• Pairing: Beauty!Taehyung x Beast!Yoongi • Genre: Fluff, bit of Angst | Rating: Teen and Up | Beautyandthebeast!AU / Fairytale!AU • Words: 4,5k | AO3 | Gifset Trailer • Disclaimer: anxiety, mentioning of a curse

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳ Yoongi had tried not to think about what would happen if someone saw him but his mind had wandered through all of their possible reactions anyway: screaming, laughing, shock… he’s had so many horrible encounters in his mind and yet the boy in front of him didn’t react like in any of his thoughts.

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His gaze wandered around slowly, holding onto his folder tightly as he leaned over a glass vitrine to see a few pieces and information on the exhibition inside. He always loved the quiet of the museum and even here in midst of the entrance, he felt more home than he’d ever felt anywhere before. Taehyung couldn’t describe that feeling, but today it mixed with the anxiety of the reason why he was here. Instinctively he held on a little tighter to his folder, pressing it against his chest. A curious rustling came from behind him and Taehyung turned, when he saw an old lady peering out at him from behind the counter that he hadn’t seen before.

“Oh, my…,” Taehyung clasped a hand to his chest and the woman laughed. She was clearly a museum volunteer, working late to close out the gift shop. Or maybe she was just tidying up after a busy day.

“Hello, Miss…do you happen to know where Mr. Kang is?” Taehyung asked, looking down to his watch. His meeting with him had been about five minutes ago but the owner of the museum hadn’t been showing up. Ever since he had promised Yoongi to take him out, Taehyung had been almost manic to find a museum, big or small to accept his art and photography.

Until now, he had only cancellations. And this right now seemed awfully like one of them.

“Oh, he has been out a while ago. He made me cancel all other applications. Didn’t I call you?” The woman was asking, and Taehyung sighed deeply, smiling at her even though everything in him just wanted to scream. He had dressed up, sorted his stuff anew and even came up with a new tactic to finally wrap them around his fingers.

And there it was again: the secretary telling him that they already found someone else. Someone that suited them better.

Taehyung was out of ideas when he opened up his shop later that day, not wanting to tell Yoongi again that he hadn’t been able to make it. Maybe this was just an awful way of the universe telling him that he wasn’t it. Putting the folder onto his desk, Taehyung lit up the little sign that said ‘open’ and sat down with a pout on his lips.

A woman came in with so much force that the little bells above the door were ringing like they were caught in a storm. Everything about her seemed bright; her red costume, her lips, her eyes as if her whole form demanded attention.

“Kim Taehyung?” She asked without so much as a greeting, looking like she was in a hurry. She wore high heels that were so dangerously high that for a moment Taehyung was scared she might fall and hurt herself with how fast she was coming towards him, but she was so steady as if it were totally normal for her to run around on high heels. “Why aren’t you at the museum?”

“Why…am I what?” Taehyung was so out of depth as she looked at him as if she knew exactly who he was while he had absolutely no clue. He got around his desk and motioned to the back, where he usually took the pictures for job applications that were a regular business. “Do you need me to take pictures for you? I’m sorry…I didn’t get your name when you came in.” He gave her a friendly smile and reached out his hand as if he had simply misheard her question about the museum. Maybe he was going crazy already.

“We don’t have time for that now.” She waved a hand hectically as if she was scaring of some flies and then turned towards him with a frown. “The museum was waiting for you! You had an appointment there! Today!” She spoke overly clear as if she was trying to get Tae out of his daydreams. “They were expecting your pictures about three hours ago. An exhibition isn’t going to make itself! Now hurry up! Tell me which pictures you wanted to take, and we’ll get them out into the van. You can dress up later, nobody expects a suit for artists anyways nowadays, let the art speak for itself!”

“I was at the museum today, but my appointment got cancelled. Mr. Kang already found someone else, didn’t he told you?” He felt awful as if someone was rubbing his failures into his face one more time.

She walked past him while talking, as if it wasn’t a big deal. “Your appointment didn’t get cancelled - the selection process had been cancelled. Because they saw your pictures before and decided to take them so no other applications were needed.”

“M-my pictures? It can’t be…wait, are you even talking about the national gallery?” He got pushed into the direction of his atelier and when he didn’t move, the woman just simply walked ahead and grabbed a few of folders and looked through them, then nodded and put them under her arm. “Move!” She ordered again and Taehyung absently minded walked ahead. Taehyung gave a few more folders to her, where he had safely put in his photography that was printed in all different kind of sizes, before unlocking the door to his atelier, revealing even more of the things he had never shown anyone. “I…I have a few paintings as well, they aren’t…good, but…maybe.” Taehyung was still not sure what this was about, but she looked rather pleased. “I have some photography on canvas as well there.” He pointed into one corner, hurrying over to get the stuff for her.

“Ah, yes, perfect!” The canvases were a lot big and heavier than his folders so for a moment Taehyung wondered how she would carry them with the folders still in her arms, but she walked past them, opened the door and whistled loudly. In came two men dressed all in black and if their faces hadn’t been that plainly visible they could have passed for burglars, right down to their black leather gloves. “Those ones, boys.” She ordered them and with a curt nod towards Tae they picked up his canvases. All of them.

Taehyung was just running back and forth with them until his whole room was emptied and no art piece was left inside his shop. He stood a little frozen in the atelier, not being able to believe anything that was happening when the woman grabbed him by his arm and took him along, mumbling something about how they should just take him with them in the van so he would be punctual. Only then when Taehyung stood at the museum again did he put the pieces together. His art would be hung in a museum. A real museum. With shaking hands, he took out his phone and called Yoongi’s office. He knew the other was still asleep, so he didn't mind it when the mailbox went on.

"You won't believe what just happened." He raked a hand through his hair as he tried to process how the men were bringing his art in. "It's starting in a few hours. It was last minute and I… I can't believe this, Yoongi. I wish you were here." He took a deep breath before he added quickly, "Let me take you out, please. I'll ask the owner if we can visit at night. The opening starts in a couple of hours." Taehyung felt out of breath from all the excitement, "I need to hurry, they are calling for me." With that he put his phone away again and hurried inside, following the women to where his paintings and photography would be hung when he froze completely. It wasn't just a single wall he would get, but a whole floor. Just for him. Taehyung could feel the tears burning behind his eyes as the thought of his dreams coming true hit him full force. "This is all mine?"

“No, of course it’s not yours, don’t be silly. It’s just leased. You can hang your pictures up and then you have to take them off in a few weeks.” Came the curt answer who didn’t leave room for someone who had just found out that his dream had come true. “Now, come on, we need to know your preferred placements of the pieces you brought. After you’ve decided on the sequence and general order you can go down into the cafeteria to get a coffee or a piece of cake while we do the lighting and talk about the advertisement and then you can come up again and look at the finished exhibition.” Taehyung looked still so dumbfounded that she placed her hand on his shoulder for a few seconds. “Don’t worry, we can exchange pictures or add more spots if something doesn’t feel right or needs more light. You’re the artist and we’ll make sure that everything is exactly how you envisioned it.”

“How...I envisioned it.” It was almost like he had gotten thrown into a different dimension, another world, maybe he had been falling asleep at his desk and was just dreaming? He quickly got whipped out of his thoughts again, when the woman pulled him along and Taehyung shook himself out of it. He needed to focus. He had definitely envisioned this moment a million times, so he rolled his shoulders back and began directing everyone, discussing positions with the curator as they walked through the still empty halls that were slowly filled with his art.

“Can we maybe let piano music play in the background...I’d always thought that it’s fun if there’s an instrument right in the middle of an exhibition for people to play but...I know it’s short term so?” Taehyung asked shyly, but what the other answered had him frozen in shock. “We can order a piano and put it right here if you want?” The other turned on his heel, noting something down on his clipboard before he was already calling someone and leaving Taehyung alone with his thoughts. Slowly, he strolled back around, watching how they were hanging his pictures up, listening to the clicking of the heels of the woman that was ordering people to go more left or right and it was making him smile. How the hell was this to be real. It could only be a dream.

In the cafeteria, Taehyung gotten himself some hot chocolate to relax. When he looked up from his empty cup, he could see people outside putting up the banners for the exhibition with loads of names he already knew, when it fell onto something familiar. “No, no...wait…,” Taehyung ran outside in his haste not caring about bringing his cup back to the counter and stood completely in awe, when the men had finished bringing up the new advertisement. And there was his name. His name. Right next to the one’s he admired so much himself.

It felt like hours that he stood outside in the cold, just watching his name wave with the wind before someone stepped beside him. “Here, I figured you might need this.” Jimin’s voice got him out of his thoughts and he hugged his friend tightly, taking the beret from him before putting it on. “Now you look like an artist.” Jimin smiled up at his best friend, who held up a bag with more clothes that he had brought him after Taehyung had whined about not wanting to be in his work clothes tonight, so they quickly hid in the bathroom to change.

“They just came in?” Jimin asked and Taehyung hummed in response. “Took all of my art. All of it, can you believe it? I have a whole floor! All of it...like four rooms, Jiminie!” His best friends arms hugged around his waist and Taehyung couldn’t help but laugh, “And I asked for a piano and they just said: no problem. I’m not sure if they made it though. It was all a bit last minute actually.” Taehyung felt a lot more relaxed with Jimin by his side and yet, when he stepped into the exhibition that was now filled with people waiting to be let into the new art exposition, reading upon him and his work in little folded up papers. Still, Taehyung couldn’t help but look around and search for someone.

He knew it was kind of stupid to hope that Yoongi would come. Maybe he had heard his mailbox message, but would wait for a midnight date, sometime when they can be alone, and Taehyung would make sure that it would happen. And still, it made his heart beat a little faster at the thought of Yoongi coming here. But there were too many people, too many eyes that could see him. Taehyung startled when the people all around him clapped enthusiastically and then went off to either get a glass of champagne or finally visit the art pieces. The young artist held Jimin by his wrist and showed him around, telling him all about his photography, making Jimin startle when he found a few pieces of himself on the wall. “Oh gosh, Taehyungie!” He blushed vividly, but Taehyung just chuckled.

“Excuse me, but...I couldn’t help but notice the similarity could it be that it’s you?” A man had stepped beside him, tall with blonde hair and Jimin gulped up at him. “Oh, it’s hideous. I’m so sorry. Taehyung should’ve used someone better...my posture looks awful in this one.” Taehyung couldn’t help but roll his eyes, when Jimin wasn’t even realizing that the man was obviously flirting with him, not caring about his posture but just about the aesthetics of the photography. He always loved photographing Jimin while he was dancing. It was like art in motion. He smiled, stepping away from the two, when something made his ears perk up. “I’ll buy the series.”

“Wh-what?” It came from both of them simultaneously as they blinked at the stranger, who was smiling at them so sweetly that it turned his eyes into half-moons. “I’d like to offer you a price. Let your manager call me, please and reserve those for me.” He handed Taehyung a card, before returning his attention to Jimin. “My Manager,” Taehyung mumbled, thinking about how he never even thought about having one. “Ah, you sold something. Amazing!” The woman in the red-heels took out some stickers, placing them below the art piece, spelling ‘reserved’ right underneath it’s description. She patted his shoulders in encouragement, before leaving Taehyung as fast as she came.

It didn’t happen to be the last picture he sold, because Taehyung found those little stickers under a few of his photography already and he was eager to see who those people were. Apparently the lady in red was really good at selling. So, Taehyung kept to his part: shaking hands, discussing the art, meeting new people and collecting more cards of important and potential customers. He had long lost Jimin, who was busy talking to the tall stranger, or flirting as he could tell by their giggles.

Standing in midst of all those people, Taehyung felt unsure for a moment. It was too much happening at once, people patting his back, congratulating him, telling him how amazing he was, when all his life people only rejected his art. What did change? Did they really like it? He looked down at the cards in his hand and then back up, trying to take a deep breath. He didn’t want to let his insecurities destroy this magical moment. Closing his eyes, Taehyung took a few more deep breaths, when he could hear a soft tune playing and it immediately brought a smile onto his lips. In midst of it all, Taehyung hadn’t realized that they really fulfill his wish of music playing in the background. He hadn’t noticed it before. When he opened his eyes, Taehyung searched for where it came from, but when he saw the boxes in the corner of the room, he quickly realized that they were silent, and the music was coming from a different place. His heart was starting to race, and his breath hitched.

…

Being up during the day felt strange, but he had to if he wanted to be at Taehyung’s exhibition opening. He could only imagine how stunned and happy the younger must be when he came to the museum, trying to get the spot and then they would tell him that they already hired him. Except that apparently there was a misunderstanding and when the museum called that Taehyung hadn’t showed up he couldn’t believe it.

Turned out he was right, because Taehyung had been there but apparently no one had told him that he was hired just that no one could apply because the spot was already taken. He would have very much liked to jell at someone but as they were doing him a favor by taking Taehyung he just ended the call politely and then send his quickest manager over. She would handle everything so that the exhibition could still open in time. By the time the pictures were hanging properly he had already received a circular email advertising the new exhibition, had heard a note on the radios art program and had been sent a picture of the banners that had been hung up at and close to the museum. Yoongi was more than pleased. Only when he got a call about Taehyung wanting a piano did he start to panic a little. Taehyung really went all out there - but he had promised him the exhibition of his dreams and he would definitely keep his promise. So, a little while later he had organized a white piano with a pattern of colorful paint splashes and was sitting in the van where it was transported. His heart was beating into overdrive even though technically he had the safest cover: He wore a suit, white gloves and a white mask and no one would try to talk to him when he was playing the piano. It would be like serving drinks or food; no one would take notice of him; he would just fade into the background of the exhibition.

Only that one person did notice.

“Yoongi?” Taehyung’s heart stopped, when he noticed the familiar back right away, the way his fingers were gliding over the keys so smoothly as if he was simply dancing – just with his fingertips. He knew the melody inside out, had heard it a million times before and watched Yoongi play while he had leaned onto him at night. His heart was beating fast, when he walked further into the room, people all around him but Taehyung didn’t care about it anymore. His eyes were focused on Yoongi and him alone. He came. Solely for him to support him, to be with him on this important night, despite the people around.

“You’re here,” Taehyung whispered and sat down next to Yoongi, who kept playing until the tune slowly faded out. When he turned to him, his almost blackish eyes looking up at him, Taehyung found himself smiling. Even brighter than before. “Why are you here? There’s people… I thought you didn’t want to…”

“I didn’t think anyone would notice me when I’m in charge of the music and not a visitor. But of course, you noticed me. You’re more perceptive than you should be.” The mask covered his smile, but his eyes and the tone of his voice gave it away anyways. “Are you happy about your exhibition? I told you that you would make it. Also, it seems I’ll have to hurry to get a picture or else everything will be reserved before I have a chance to look at them all.”

Taehyung nodded softly, not wanting to cry tears of joy again, so he bit his lip. “I’m even happier now that you’re here.” He took Yoongi’s hand in his, wanting to intertwine their hands when he noticed the gloves. “I’d like to show you everything, just like I promised you. Do you trust me?” Taehyung held onto his hand softly, soothing over the fabric.

“Could we... maybe wait till the other visitors are gone? I talked to the custodian of the museum on the phone and we have green light to stay a little longer if we want. If I get up you won’t have piano music.” While what he said was true he was simply scared. If Taehyung went to show him around people would start talking about a visitor in a mask. As piano player he was safe but as Min Yoongi he was utterly vulnerable right now.

Taehyung reached out, soothing over Yoongi’s arm softly. “I love you, Yoongi, the way you are, and no one can tell me how to see you. I know you are afraid, but I won’t let anyone hurt you.” His heart jumped at his own confession, but it was true. He had fallen in love for his stubborn boss somewhere along the way. He took Yoongi’s hand in his and slowly removed one glove, keeping his hand in his so no one else could see, hiding his smaller hands between his own. “It will be okay. I won’t let it slip.”

His breath was taken away by the younger’s word. He had given up on hope and that Taehyung, the person he liked most told him he loved him so easily was making his heart ache in a good way. Maybe he did have a chance at happiness and love after all. Nonetheless his first instinct was to withdraw his hand because he was still scared - but then he kept it where it was. He trusted Taehyung fully. And if it would make the other happy to hold his hand then he would swallow down the fear and be there for him instead.

Because for the first time in a long, long while someone else was more important to him than himself.

“You okay?” Taehyung asked shyly, noticing how nervous Yoongi was. “You’ll be okay. I promise.” He leaned in, placing a kiss on his cheek softly. He kept there, hovering over Yoongi’s lips (or where they would be hidden behind the mask) as he spoke. “Just squeeze my hand if it gets too much.” Taehyung got up and pulled Yoongi up with him, when the other had given his consent to move. He kept his hand close in his as he moved along, wanting to show Yoongi his favorite art first. No one turned their heads towards them, all of them too immersed in either socializing or discussing the art itself. Barely any of them even knew Taehyung was the artist.

It was easier walking with Tae than walking alone and he found himself so concentrated on Taehyung and his art that for a few moments he forgot why he was scared. The younger’s eyes lit up as he talked about the day he took the picture they were standing in front of; a beautiful landscape filled with flowery meadows and a beautiful cloudy sky. Listening to Taehyung took him to that place where Tae had hidden from the rain that day as he had been on his way to visit his grandma and the rain had surprised him. And just when he had thought that the rain would never stopped the sky had opened and let the sun through and he had taken the picture that now hung on the wall. Yoongi smiled fondly at Taehyung, thinking that the boy was more beautiful than every piece of art could ever be and with a sudden clarity he realized that he was just in love with Taehyung as it was the other way round.

“What are you thinking about?” Taehyung’s question shook him out of his thoughts, and he met the younger’s gaze. “Do you like it? It’s pretty basic, I guess. A simple shot of the sun but…it was a beautiful symbolism, right? There’s so much more than the simple visitor can see.” He bit his lip shyly, fumbling around with Yoongi’s hand, not wanting to ramble on. He had bored many with his deep conversations before.

“Yes, it is beautiful. You’re amazing, Tae. Though what I was actually thinking about was that I love you too. And that if you’re okay with it I’d like to kiss you.” He could just put the mask a little up so no one could see but his love for Tae right now was greater than his caution.

Taehyung gulped, eyes wide when Yoongi confessed and asked him something that he really wanted to do for so long. “Y-yes, of course, I…I want you to.” He didn’t know what to do, holding onto Yoongi’s hand so tightly as he was feeling more nervous than he had before the exhibition had been opened. He could feel his cheeks blushing and feeling hot.

Carefully Yoongi tipped the mask upwards until his mouth was free and then leaned in to gently cover Taehyung’s lips with his own. It was a delicate kiss, careful and fragile as if he wasn’t sure that this wasn’t a dream and if he wasn’t cautious it would shatter into a million pieces. But Taehyung’s lips were warm and steady, and his mouth tasted so sweet that Yoongi couldn’t help it, he moved closer, his hand wandering to the boy’s waist as he held him against his own body, kissing him again, more daringly so.

The mask slipped off.

“Yoongi!” Taehyung gasped against his lips, when he had opened his eyes just for a second but what he saw made him stop and stare.

He couldn’t believe it.

“Y-you’re…” He blinked, still holding close onto Yoongi as he watched how the veins started to fade out, the black ink seemingly unraveling until they wasn’t seen anymore and instead it was only his brown eyes staring back at Taehyung. He was gleaming and Taehyung cupped his cheeks to look at him thoroughly, before hastily taking his hand in his and watching how the black streaks were simply fading away. In his haste to see if this was real, he took the Yoongi’s other hand, pulled off the glove. “W-what…what is happening?”

Tae’s shock hit him right in the heart and he quickly tried to cover his face with his hands - but to his surprise his palms weren’t black anymore. He slowly let them sink in a daze, turning them over and over to check if they were really just skin. “Tae, do you... do you see this?” Suddenly the other’s expression made sense and he hurriedly turned towards the next picture that was securely sealed behind glass. In his reflection a normal face stared back. His face. He touched his cheek, patting it lightly to make sure that he wasn’t dreaming. But the reflection mimicked him, and he didn’t wake up. A tear spilled over, sudden and hot, running down his cheek when he realized that this was true.

The curse had been broken. And he had Tae to thank for that.

The younger had seen him; broke right through his defenses with his love and kind heartedness to the very core of him. He loved him despite what he looked like, breaking the curse when Yoongi had realized he loved someone too, more than himself and trusted Taehyung with his life. He didn’t mind if others would see him because he wasn’t alone anymore. As long as he was with Taehyung, he was safe.

And with him he felt beautiful, no matter how he looked like on the outside.

Taehyung had seen all his flaws and decided to love him, because he let his heart chose him, not his head. Even if it still made no sense to the younger, Yoongi couldn’t help but pull a stunned Taehyung in and kiss him until they both felt breathless.

He could explain everything later.

Because they had all the time in the world together.

A/N: And here our lovely little beauty and the beast au is finished. We hope you enjoyed this little fic of ours and are excited to our (for now) last fairytale au which will be next: Alice in Wonderland! Thank you for reading and all your lovely comments!

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ncisjes · 4 years

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I’d find you in every lifetime

Based off this beautiful gifset by @everythingismadefromdreams and this drabble by @mcgeekle where Ziva is prosecuting a case the team worked. Kudos to them both for creating this amazing AU I am having so much fun writing in. Also a huge thank you to @mcgeekle for letting me continue this.

@benditlikepress @rareshbones

Read on AO3//FF

Take Your Time

Sipping her second drink of the night, she sits at the bar alone watching what feels like the same old news on ZNN. Being stood up was a rare occurrence for her, but this time she really could not fault the man. In the past two weeks they had agreed to get drinks after work on three separate occasions, and all three times she had bailed to work late.

The Simmons case was moving along on schedule, but it was still too early to tell how the jury was leaning. Her opening argument was flawless, but the expert witnesses had not fared as well as she had hoped under the scrutiny of the defendants defense team. Their one hundred thousand dollar an hour retainer was clearly paying off for their client.

Regardless of whatever lead the defense had, she was still determined as ever to win this case. Being new to DC, she needed to establish herself as a capable prosecutor. Her track record here had a much slower start than in New York, but that was mostly suffering through learning the quirks of the system and the judges preferences. She always knew the legal field was cutthroat, but D.C. gave New York a run for its money.

Luckily for her, the jury had yet to hear from the investigators whose findings built her entire case. She had planned to call Leroy Jethro Gibbs as her first witness, but as life would have it an emergency case had popped up keeping him and his team from attending the hearing.

Though it had been a month since she had seen him, she had to admit she found herself thinking about Special Agent DiNozzo quite a lot lately. While his delivery could have been better, his charm was what intrigued her to invite him back to her office to try his luck again at asking her out once the hearing had concluded. There was just something about him that she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Wondering what he would be doing on a Friday night like tonight, she imagined him sweet talking his way into some unsuspecting co-ed’s bed for the night.

Taking a long slow sip of her drink, she scans the room in hopes of finding someone to take home herself. Her eyes begin sizing up each prospect, noting their features and what she would like to do with them. Her gaze locks on a brunette that is all legs with grayish brown eyes which jogs her memory of a night a few months back. She cannot remember the woman’s name, but the curl of her tongue is still very vivid in Ziva’s mind. Seeing her arm wrapped around the blonde sitting next to her, Ziva continues to scour the room in hopes of repeating the ecstasy her mind just recalled.

Her search comes up empty as everyone in the bar has seemingly paired off. She’s about to signal for her tab and call it a night when she spots him out of the corner of her eye. He’s leaning over the bar talking to the blonde bartender who’s name always escapes Ziva. She laughs and leans over the counter, not only matching Tony’s stance but giving him a much better view down her shirt, Ziva is sure. Her fingers play with the condensation on her glass as she waits for him to notice her. He doesn’t disappoint, leaving the bartender without a second glance a few moments later and hastily making his way to her.

“Ziva David. Fancy finding you here.” Tony leans on the stool next to her.

“Hello Special Agent DiNozzo.”

“I see you’ve forgotten my name all ready.” He fakes offense.

“It is a lawyer thing. We have to be proper in court and it transcends into our personal lives.”

“Deflecting really doesn’t help your case here counselor.”

“I have not forgotten your name, Tony, and I see you have not forgotten your charm.”

“So you do find me charming.”

“I would not go that far.” She smirks.

“So what’s a girl like you doing here alone on a Friday night?”

“Who says I am alone?”

“This seat is pushed too far in for someone to have just gone to the bathroom. Unless of course you’re waiting for someone, but judging by your empty drink and the condensation collecting on it you’ve been waiting for quite a while. Our hot shot lawyer from New York couldn’t have been stood up, now could she?” Returning the victorious smirk she had given him moments before.

“Putting your investigative skills to use on your off time?”

“Only if it means I can sit down here.”

“I do not think that is a good idea.” She cautions him, her eyes going from playful to serious.

“Ah come on, who is going to see us? There’s none of you legal types in here. Plus I’m not your witness. Gibbs is.”

“But you are still a part of his team which makes-”

He waves his hand to shush her, causing her to balk at him.

“One drink.” He holds up his pointer finger as if to make it concrete that they’re only going to have a single cocktail. Somehow she finds herself relenting.

Taking his seat, Tony waves to the bartender he just abandoned to call her over. Arms crossed over her chest she stares back at him, not moving a muscle. He winks and makes the come hither motion with his finger, hoping that all can be forgotten with a really good tip on his tab. She scoffs, throwing the towel she is holding to the ground and walks through the swinging door to the back.

“Guess we won’t be served by her any time soon.” Tony comments, shifting his body towards Ziva. Before she can respond the other bartender approaches.

“Hey, sorry about that. Heidi can take things a little too personal sometimes. I’m Jack. What can I get you?”

“Scotch on the rocks for me and for-”

“I will have another mojito, Jack, thank you.” Ziva answers, effectively cutting Tony off.

“Sure thing.” Jack smiles and winks at her as he saunters off, causing Tony’s jealousy to spike for some unknown reason.

“So, you come here often?” Tony asks, drawing Ziva’s attention back to him.

“Is that what you really wanted to ask me? Generic pick up lines usually work to get girls to take you home with them?”

“I didn’t know that offer was on the table.” He leers at her, grabbing an ice cube from her drink and popping it into his mouth.

“No I do not come here often, and no it is not on the table.” She glares at him.

Jack arrives with their drinks, breaking the small amount of tension that had built up. Tony pays in cash and raises his glass to Ziva.

“To future offers. May they be successful and enjoyable for us both.” He gives her a big toothy grin before touching his glass to hers and taking a swig; his eyes never leaving hers.

Ziva is the first one to break and look away, muttering something under her breath in Hebrew but still finding herself smiling before taking a long drink.

“So tell me, how does the rising star of Mossad find herself practicing law in America?”

“I see you have done your research.”

“It is what I do for a living.”

“Not well enough clearly or you would know the answer. How did one make the jump from Baltimore P.D. to N.C.I.S. with such subpar skills?”

“Answering my question with a question? Deflecting won’t work with me. I use the same tactic all the time on the job. Nice to know you’re doing your own research on me too though.” He winks at her as he takes another sip of his drink.

“For the case-”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night. Now my question?”

Their gazes lock and the power struggle begins between them, sizing the the other up, their pupils dilating and contracting with each breath. Finally giving in, Ziva breaks away to look at the bar door closing before her eyes settle on the ice in her drink, her hand fidgeting with the straw.

“After serving in the Israeli army I joined Mossad at my own volition. I advanced quickly through the ranks, earning awards for my exemplary skills and talents. I had just become a handler when I decided to leave and come to America.”

“What made you do that?”

“My brother.”

Tony stares at her intently but does not push the subject. He can sense she is having difficulty discussing this. She takes a long swig of her drink before continuing.

“He cautioned me about promoting any higher, said I did not know what I was getting myself into or who I was really working for. As a handler, I was given more access and told more secrets, but I still had some plausible deniability in the big picture of how Mossad operates. It was not until he was killed three months later that I realized he was right.”

Tony’s eyes study her body language as she tells him the bits and pieces of what seems like a much longer and much more painful story than what she is letting on. He doesn’t push the subject, instead letting the silence fall comfortably between them.

“You did not ask me.” She comments after a few moments pass and the drinks lessen in their glasses.

“What's that?”

“The one question everyone wants to know; how he died.”

He doesn’t meet her eyes as he finishes his drink.

“I figured if you wanted to share you would.”

She twirls the last of her mojito in her glass, watching the clear liquid dance through the crystal ice cubes. Pausing as if she is really considering divulging the information.

“He killed a member of the secret service, Special Agent Caitlyn Todd. He was killed shortly after by what was reported as a terrorist bombing but really was Mossad cleaning up their mess.”

Tony’s whole body tenses, not only because he knew Special Agent Todd but because he remembered the bombing that occurred following her death. The reports played for days on ZNN of the horrific injuries people had suffered caused by excessive shrapnel intended to inflict the most pain. The death toll seemed to climb by the second.

“After his death I was obsessed with getting revenge. I had already lost a sister to a Hamas bombing and to have my brother taken from me the same way… I was determined to bring whoever took him from me forward. When I found out it was ordered by my own director… I could no longer remain loyal to an organization that operated that way.”

Grabbing her glass, she drains the last of her drink before slamming it back on the bar nearly causing it to shatter.

“I decided to come to America to bring justice for those who could not get justice for themselves.”

Her eyes are downcast as her fingers play with the condensation on her glass once again. Tony takes a moment to collect himself before tentatively reaching to touch her shoulder.

“Hey, I’m sorry for your loss, and I’m glad you’re here.”

She gives him a shy smile, leaning into his touch. They stare at each other for a few moments before Tony breaks the contact.

“Worked a case with Kate Todd. She was a good Agent.”

Ziva’s eyes widen in shock, not only because he knew her but that they both were affected by the same event.

“I am sorry for your loss.”

“No, I’m sorry to end your night on such a downer. Didn’t mean to bring up such painful memories.”

“It is alright. I did not mind spending it with you.”

The words fall out of her mouth before she realizes what she’s said. Luckily she is saved by a man interrupting them.

“Hey, Tony, sorry to bother you.” He leans on the bar beside him.

“No worries McInterruptus. Ziva David, this is Timothy McGee, the other and less attractive member of Team Gibbs.”

Ziva smiles at the glare he gives Tony before extending her hand.

“It is nice to put a face to the name. I read your report in the Simmons case on how the device’s design was flawed and ultimately caused his death. I was amazed by the immense detail you used and then I found out you have a degree in Biomedical Engineering from Johns Hopkins and a degree in Computer Forensics from MIT. Very impressive.”

“Oh, you’re the prosecutor Tony wouldn’t shut up about and the boss wished he would have sent me to check up on instead.”

Ziva laughs as Tony strikes McGee across the chest.

“Quiet McTattletale.”

“One in the same.” Ziva adds, still laughing.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you Ziva. Tony I hate to steal you away but Abby had too much to drink and is in the bathroom puking. Jardine is in there with her but she’s probably cleaning every surface. We’re probably going to have to carry her out.”

“I told you to watch her Probie.”

“Yeah, you try taking her drink away when she’s ranting about people who say they’re vegetarians but eat chicken.”

“Good point.”

Tony stands to leave, pushing in the chair as he does. He stops to turn to Ziva before walking away.

“Don’t move, I’ll walk you out.”

She doesn’t understand why she listens.

A few moments later Tony and McGee emerge from the back of the bar with Abby between them, each of her arms slung over their shoulders. Ziva sees a woman exit quickly from behind them, clutching her bag tightly to her as if not to touch anything. The group stops in front of her as Abby begins to babble.

“Who’s this? Tony, she's pretty. You’re very pretty.”

“Not now, Abs.”

Tony motions for Ziva to follow them and she grabs her briefcase from the bottom of the bar before walking behind them.

There is a cab waiting outside and McGee drops Abby’s arm to open the door before getting in on the opposite side. Tony struggles to keep Abby upright as she goes limp in his arms. Ziva comes up from behind to grab her other side and help get her into the car. She settles in the backseat with her head in McGee’s lap.

“Tony did you get her number? Get her number!” Abby calls out as Tony moves to close the door.

“We have her number Abby.”

“It was nice meeting you!” McGee yells out to Ziva.

Tony finally shuts the door, letting out a loud breath, his hand wiping over his face.

“Sorry about that.”

“It is quite alright. It is nice to see people taking care of other people.”

“Do you want to share a cab?”

“No, I actually live right down there.” She points to a grey building a little ways down the street.

“Oh so you do come here often.”

They both laugh at the implication.

“Well I guess this is goodnight then.”

“Yes, goodnight Tony.”

“Goodnight.”

He extends his hand and she meets him in the middle. The touch lingers for a little while too long, sparking electricity in them both. After several moments, Ziva finally breaks away, turning on her heel to walk away. He watches her walk until she makes it to her building, his eyes enjoying the way her legs strut in her tight pencil skirt. She pauses to wave to him before unlocking the door and going in. Tony turns to heads home, feeling excited for the first time in his career to attend court.

#TIVA #TIVA fanfic #Ziva David #Tony DiNozzo #AU #yes this will be continued #my wiritng #SCREAMING BECAUSE THIS IS FINALLY DONE

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